The Rancher's Unexpected Baby
Jill Lynn
From bachelor to daddy…overnight!A Colorado Grooms NovelAfter his marriage ended, Gage Frasier vowed he’d never remarry or have children—but now he’s guardian of an orphaned baby boy. Thankfully, his friend's sweet sister, Emma Wilder, offers to nanny while Gage seeks a more suitable family for the child. But soon, Gage finds himself bonding with his new son…and with Emma. Parenthood surprised Gage, but will love sneak up on him too?
From bachelor to daddy...overnight!
A Colorado Grooms. novel
After his marriage ended, Gage Frasier vowed he’d never remarry or have children—but now he’s guardian of an orphaned baby boy. Thankfully, his friend’s sweet sister, Emma Wilder, offers to nanny while Gage seeks a more suitable family for the child. But soon Gage finds himself bonding with his new son...and with Emma. Parenthood surprised Gage, but will love sneak up on him, too?
JILL LYNN is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and won the ACFW Genesis Contest in 2013. She has a bachelor’s degree in communications from Bethel University. A native of Minnesota, Jill now lives in Colorado with her husband and two children. She’s an avid reader of happily-ever-afters and a fan of grace, laughter and thrift stores. Connect with her at jill-lynn.com (http://www.jill-lynn.com).
Also By Jill Lynn (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956)
Colorado Grooms
The Rancher’s Surprise Daughter
The Rancher’s Unexpected Baby
Falling for Texas
Her Texas Family
Her Texas Cowboy
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
The Rancher’s Unexpected Baby
Jill Lynn
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-09477-1
THE RANCHER’S UNEXPECTED BABY
© 2019 Jill Buteyn
Published in Great Britain 2019
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
“I was trying not to wake you.”
Emma glanced over her shoulder. “Figured you could use the sleep.”
Gage joined her in the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I didn’t even hear him until just now. Sorry.”
“You were out cold.” Emma finished shaking the bottle, then cradled the baby. “Go to bed, Gage. I’ve got him. You’re exhausted. Let me do this.”
His eyes pricked with a strange sensation. The woman was selfless. Emma watched out for him in a way that he wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced before outside his family. She made him want…a future. A wife. A family.
Her.
All things that he wasn’t sure he had enough faith to try again.
Frustration bubbled up. Why had Emma come into his life now? When it was too late?
Which was why he had to stop thinking of her as he’d begun to: his saving grace, his new beginning. Because she was none of those things for him. Not if he truly cared about her. Not if he wanted her to have the future she deserved.
Dear Reader (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956),
I recently had to make a decision I was incredibly torn about, and I prayed earnestly that I would know what to do. I didn’t receive a big sign like Gage, though I have had those appear in my life. This time God’s answer was quiet. Hard to hear. Once I believed I understood His directive, I obeyed, even though it wasn’t the answer I wanted. After, I felt overwhelming peace. And in the time since, that peace has remained whenever that particular situation comes to mind.
Regrettably, I don’t always listen to God’s leading. I try to do things my own way, or I fight the path He’s directing me down. But the good news is, God never gives up on any of us. He loves us every step of the journey, whether we’re stumbling to follow His plan or running a straight line in the right direction. He’s consistent even when we’re not, and I’m so thankful for that.
I’m also thankful for your support as readers. Your encouragement means the world. Thanks for celebrating book news with me and participating in the development of these stories. Hudson and Ford both earned their names from your suggestions.
I love to connect with readers. Sign up for book news and giveaways at www.Jill-Lynn.com/news (http://www.Jill-Lynn.com/news) or find me on social media: www.facebook.com/JillLynnAuthor (http://www.facebook.com/JillLynnAuthor) & www.Instagram.com/JillLynnAuthor (http://www.Instagram.com/JillLynnAuthor).
Jill Lynn
A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
—John 13:34
For my dad—I’m so thankful for your wisdom, your sense of humor and that you taught us about Jesus. So many lives have been touched because of your gift of sharing the gospel.
Contents
Cover (#ub9fd2a69-1a0b-5b86-b95c-cd7a9aa925db)
Back Cover Text (#u1e3bf3f4-8d71-58fd-a88b-b0fca38605eb)
About the Author (#u32e6a658-8fbf-5f4d-bb28-d6e77029a331)
Booklist (#u19715531-89f1-571a-994a-81f00ce2758c)
Title Page (#u16ac8dcb-d121-56a4-bb8c-fa0d25b4a16f)
Copyright (#u44e0b855-1780-56c6-9e20-daa345125dea)
Introduction (#u709335e9-6efe-508a-8496-37756295dee3)
Dear Reader (#u2f008a98-c03f-5a2f-87ac-ab1f36bb86d1)
Bible Verse (#u61491147-d3a3-5c0a-bbc5-ce2e5bebae0c)
Dedication (#ud221dc62-cb94-582f-b325-067191056a3b)
Chapter One (#ubd2bb3db-963c-5fa1-a889-3cafbfe89df7)
Chapter Two (#u47b18e71-0f20-5f52-8eaf-5064bb7bbcfb)
Chapter Three (#u08fe3d99-0d09-5763-92a3-1fda1395b6f9)
Chapter Four (#u95b5d565-8ded-50aa-ad68-0dcf33ee2628)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956)
I’m not a stalker, Emma Wilder assured herself while attempting to peer inconspicuously out the front windows of Len’s grocery store. Gage Frasier’s Jeep Grand Cherokee was parked in the first spot, so it would be almost impossible for her not to notice him as he sat behind his steering wheel. His face was as haggard as a mom waiting at her child’s hospital bedside.
Something—or someone—had upset her brother’s friend.
The hand pressing the phone to his ear stayed put while the other clutched the steering wheel in a death grip. Squeeze. Release. Squeeze—
“Need anything else, dear?” The clerk, Dolores, held out Emma’s two bags.
“No, thanks. Say hi to that cutie granddaughter of yours for me.” Emma snagged the reusable canvas totes and headed for the exit.
I’m also not a meddler, Emma reminded herself as she stepped outside into the freezer currently known as Colorado. She would walk right by Gage without stopping to check if he was okay. Or figure out what had him so distressed.
Her Mini Cooper was two spots past his vehicle. It had been an impulse buy from the small used-car lot in town. Done without her big brother’s approval. That right there made the purchase worthwhile. Even though the little thing might not be built for crashing through snowdrifts, it had handled perfectly well so far...in the three weeks she’d had it. Never mind that no major snow had fallen in that span of time.
Brr! The ice-cold air pierced her lungs, and her organs complained like unruly children. When she was just steps from Gage’s vehicle, his free arm jutted into the air in a move similar to one her friend’s boys would do while pretending to be ninjas. What could have Gage so distraught? The man was usually so...Gage. Calm. A bit stoic at times. Definitely not one to be playing ninja without good reason.
And his poor forehead—all of those worry lines. If he were a woman, he’d need to run home and apply a mask of some sort to thwart the wrinkles that would sprout at the first opportunity.
Phone pressed to his left ear, Gage motioned to her...as if she should open the passenger door of his Jeep. Because she was standing right next to the window, peering in like the stalker she’d just claimed not to be.
Emma couldn’t walk past a baby, a puppy or, it seemed, a Gage. Anyone in need beckoned to her like pickles to a pregnant mama. Or so she’d heard.
She waved, as if to say...what? Don’t mind me. I’m just standing here staring at you? Again Gage signaled for her to open the door. He probably thought there was something wrong with her car. Or her. It was all of two degrees outside, and she was shivering next to his vehicle like a frozen statue about to break into ice chips. Too late to run for it now or explain herself—somehow—and escape, since Gage was still on the phone. So she opened the door and got in. Shut it behind her.
If only she had superpowers and could make herself invisible. Or shrink down to penny size.
Emma inhaled, fighting to keep it discreet when what she really wanted to do was gulp in the men’s cologne section scent that permeated Gage’s vehicle. One of the many romance novels she consumed on a weekly basis would probably describe it as sandalwood or citrus or cedar, but Emma would label it yum.
His caramel voice filled the car. “I understand. Yes. I see.” He reached over, midsentence, and cranked the heat. The fact that he was obviously discussing a dire circumstance on the phone and would still do a small gesture like that warmed her. Literally. Gage, despite all of his inner turmoil, was still chivalrous. Kind. Drool-worthy.
“I’ll get back to you. Thank you.” He pressed the end-call button.
Time to scram. Obviously Gage had a lot on his plate. Emma gripped the door handle. “Thanks for the warm-up. My car is only a few over, so I’ll just...”
Gage was lost somewhere, his eyes glazed. Maybe even a tremble in his strong chin. What in the world?
“Gage?” Her hand dropped back to her lap, shoulders twisting to face him. She gained his empty stare. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“No.” His head shook with a vengeance. “Not even a little bit.”
Emma waited. She’d become good at it over the years. Being the younger sister of twin siblings who were strong and competitive often left her dead last. And they all ran a guest ranch together, so she’d had lots of practice learning to be patient. For the most part, Emma was content with her role. God must have made her that way, because she didn’t remember wanting too much more than the life she had. Except for one small problem. She was a romantic in a town that didn’t allow for that. The men in Westbend were few and far between. Too old. Too young. Not attracted to her or the other way around. And when one did pay attention to her and garner her interest... Well, she knew from experience that led to trouble.
“That sounded like a tough phone call. If you don’t want to talk about it, I under—”
“Do you remember my friend Zeke who passed away about two weeks ago?”
“Yes. Of course.” A young father who’d been flying himself from Aspen to Denver when his plane had crashed and had already lost his wife. It was all so tragic. How could Emma forget? Gage had been a mess. In shock.
“His nine-month-old son—Hudson.”
Emma waited while Gage stared at the dash. Finally his eyes landed on her. “Zeke named me as his guardian.”
Now it was her turn to enter the stages of shock. She didn’t say anything right away. Just let that gigantic news simmer. “Did you know he had?”
Gage’s shoulders inched up. “After Leila died, he was such a mess. His grief was so intense. He asked me to take care of Hudson if anything ever happened to him. Of course I said yes in that moment. I’d wanted to do anything to ease his turmoil. To help. But I didn’t know he’d gone and made it legal.” His hands scrubbed through his hair, leaving the normally well behaved deep-brown, almost-black locks in disarray. “I’m the absolute worst person for this. I don’t even want to have kids.”
Emma couldn’t be further from Gage in that regard. She craved a house full of little ones. Someday. She was only twenty-three and in no rush. But definitely someday.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t do it.” Emma had full confidence in that, even if Gage didn’t.
“That’s exactly what it means.” Gage’s weariness expanded, slithering across the console.
“So what happens now?”
“That was Zeke’s aunt. She’s keeping Hudson for now and his nanny is helping out still, but it’s not a long-term solution. His aunt Rita has too many health issues. I told her I needed some time to process. She understood. I asked her to check with the other family members and see if there’s anyone else interested in keeping the baby. She’s going to talk with her husband—he’s named as the executor of the will—and they’ll investigate some other options.” His groan reeked of desperation. “Anywhere is better than with me. A single twenty-nine-year-old guy? That’s crazy. What was Zeke thinking?”
That you’d be perfect. That maybe a baby would heal that big ol’ hole inside your chest that Nicole carved. Gage’s ex-wife had certainly done a number on him.
“And what if there’s not someone else to take him?”
Gage dropped his phone into the cup holder, and it clattered with the unusually careless movement. “Then I’ll deal with that then. In the meantime, I’m just going to pray there is.”
“I’ll pray, too.” Except... Emma wasn’t so sure she agreed with Gage’s petition for another home for Hudson. She’d pray hard for that sweet baby. That God would provide a loving family for him. That he’d end up exactly where he was supposed to.
And if the answer to those requests was the man sitting next to her in the driver’s seat, then she’d ask that Gage would accept that, too.
* * *
Three days later, Gage pounded on the front door of Luc Wilder’s cabin. He usually didn’t show up unannounced, especially now that Luc had married Cate. But desperate times and all of that.
When no one answered, he knocked again. He needed...someone. He had to process all of this Hudson stuff with a friend, and Luc fit that bill.
The door wrenched open as a swirl of frigid wind wrapped around him. Remnants of a dusting of snow blew from the roof and wafted behind the collar of his wool jacket. His coat blocked most of the chill, but a Mount Everest parka wouldn’t be enough to handle the cold snap that had been hanging on for the last week.
Emma stood inside, her questioning look likely matching his. Why was she answering Luc’s door? She must be over visiting Cate. The two of them had become good friends since Cate had shown up at the Wilder Ranch with a young daughter Luc never knew he had.
Wearing a long sweater and leggings with fuzzy socks, Emma looked like she’d just crawled out from under a cozy blanket. Her hair was up in a haphazard bun, her face devoid of makeup.
No blame for his chilly intrusion registered. Emma didn’t really get upset, did she? At least Gage had never been the recipient of her anger.
“Hey, Emma. Is Luc here?”
“No, we finished up moving the last of our things yesterday. He and Cate are living at the house now, and Mackenzie and I are here.”
That’s right. How had he forgotten? Luc and Cate were expecting twins next summer, so they’d planned to move into the four-bedroom house that Emma and her sister Mackenzie had occupied, and the girls planned to switch over to the two-bedroom cabin that had been Luc’s. Guess they already had.
The last few days since he’d found out about being named Hudson’s guardian, Gage had functioned in a blur.
“I completely forgot about the move. I’ll check there. Thanks.” He stepped back, his vision already directed toward the house down the hill.
“Wait,” Emma called out. “Luc’s not there. He, Cate and Ruby are running some errands, and Mackenzie’s not home, either, so it’s just me.” Another draft of piercing air whipped around them. “Can you come in? Please? It’s freezing out there.”
When he didn’t move fast enough, Emma stepped outside in her socks, grabbed his arm and tugged him into the cabin. The door clicked shut behind him, hemming in the warmth.
A fire crackled, orange flames licking the dried wood. Emma steered him to the couch across from it and gave him a gentle shove so that he landed on the cushion.
“I’m going to make us some tea.”
Gage removed his jacket, tossing it over the back of the couch as Emma bustled along the small line of cabinets and appliances at the front of the cabin. She filled a kettle with water and placed it on the burner. After removing two mugs from the cupboard, she opened a cabinet and retrieved a wooden box.
“Chamomile okay?”
Gage had never had a cup of tea in his life, so... “Sure.”
“Honey or lemon or milk with it?”
“No, thanks.” At least that was his guess. He liked his coffee black, so maybe tea fell into the same category.
When the whistle blew, she poured the steaming liquid into the mugs, added tea bags and brought them into the living room. The cup she set before him on the coffee table said breathe in scrawling letters. Was she sending him a message?
Emma sat in the chair that flanked the couch, one leg tucked beneath her. “Okay, what’s going on? Is it the stuff with the baby? Hudson?”
He nodded.
“I’ve been praying about him so much. Luc and Cate have been, too. I know you’d rather have my brother for a sounding board, but currently I’m all you’ve got. So, spill. I’ll listen.”
Maybe Emma would have some good advice. She was in charge of the Kids’ Club at the ranch and had a definite gift for dealing with children. Or maybe she’d offer to keep the baby herself.
And if she could hear his horrible thoughts, she’d be mortified.
It wasn’t that Gage didn’t want to honor his friend’s request or even that he didn’t want Hudson. But he was nowhere near the right person for taking care of a baby or raising a child. Not in the least.
“I talked to Zeke’s aunt Rita again today. There isn’t another family member who can take him. Rita’s in her late sixties, and she and her husband have some health problems, so they’re not an option. There is no one. That’s why Zeke left him to me in the first place. I thought he’d just been delirious with grief.” Gage picked up his mug and took a sip. The tea had an apple-like flavor. Not terrible. Not the best thing he’d ever tasted. At least it added some moisture to his parched mouth. “But I guess not. I asked the nanny if she could watch Hudson at the ranch, but she’s already accepted a new position that starts next week. She was apologetic. Said she needs the money and took the other job because she hadn’t known what the future held with Hudson. And, of course, the new family is counting on her now, so she’s out. I should have talked to her right away. Asked her to stay on.” But he’d been certain there would be another family member or couple who would be a better fit for Hudson. Gage had never imagined he’d end up actually keeping the boy.
Emma twisted the mug in her hands back and forth. “You still don’t feel...qualified to be his guardian?”
“Not in the least.”
“What happens if you say no? Can you even say no?”
“I can ask the court to be relieved of the guardianship.”
“Then what?”
Gage set his mug on the coffee table, his next words weighing down his tongue. “I think he’d go into the foster care system.”
Emma’s features warred between disbelief and dismay. “But you wouldn’t let that happen, right? I mean, you have to take him.” Her lips formed a tight bud. “I’m sorry. I’ve said too much, I just—”
“You’re right. I do have to. At least for the time being.” Gage would honor what he’d told Zeke. He would take care of Hudson—by keeping him temporarily while searching until he found a better situation for the boy.
Emma relaxed visibly, color returning to her cheeks.
“But I still don’t think I’m the right person for this. I have no idea how to take care of a baby. I know absolutely nothing. What am I supposed to do?”
He met her steel-blue eyes, letting the questions brim. Emma was twenty-three. Six years younger than him. His friend’s little sister. And yet here he was dumping all of this on her and expecting answers. But she was good that way. The kind of comforting person everyone wanted to be around.
From the moment she’d tugged him inside, a little of the burden crushing him had ebbed. The Emma Effect.
She brightened. “I’ll help.” She set her tea on the coffee table with excited force, moving to the edge of her seat. “This is our slow season. We only have a few church groups here and there on the weekends. Maybe a corporate event. I can work around those, and, truthfully, they don’t even need me because there’s usually no Kids’ Club. I can watch Hudson while you get things in order.”
Steel drums pounded inside his skull. Emma’s idea could work. It was asking a lot of her, but Gage could pay her. Since his uncle had left him the ranch free and clear, it had allowed Gage to take some risks that had paid off. The ranch had done well for him. Plus, Zeke—being himself and completely prepared—had left provisions for taking care of Hudson.
“If you’re serious, that might just work. You watching him would buy me the time to find a better home for him.”
“Or—” Emma’s hand lifted in an endearing I-just-thought-of-this gesture “—maybe you have the right home for him, and by having him stay with you, you’ll figure that out.”
“That’s not the case, Emma. I am sure of that. I might feel differently if I ever planned or hoped to have kids one day, but I don’t. Not everyone is built for having children.”
Disappointment creased the corners of her arresting eyes. With her light brown hair and fresh complexion, Emma wasn’t supermodel gorgeous. She was more...girl-next-door pretty. She was also innocent and sweet and crazy to think that he could or should raise Hudson.
“It would be a short-term fix. Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe God will send fire and brimstone down on me for it, but I’m only going to take Hudson on a provisional basis. Please tell me you’ll still help now that I’ve admitted that. Because I don’t know what I’m going to do if you can’t.” Gage swallowed a frenzied laugh. “No pressure or anything.”
Emma took a sip of tea, the lower curve of her lip partially hidden behind the mug rim. “I’m the one who offered. I’m not going to renege. It’s all going to work out, Gage.”
“Anyone ever tell you that your optimism knows no bounds?”
She laughed, a happy, infectious sound. “I know you can do this.”
And Gage knew this—Emma might be full of fanciful ideas, but he was not. A more fitting home existed for Hudson. He just had to find it.
* * *
If someone handed Emma a baby, she’d tuck the bundle against her stomach like a football and run for it so no one could take the child back. Gage couldn’t sprint fast enough in the other direction. He was a single twenty-nine-year-old guy. Of course caring for a baby wasn’t at the top of his wish list, but God must have put this exact thing in Gage’s life for a reason.
Usually the man across from her was all things strong and put together. But tonight he wore his confusion and weariness much like his navy blue sweater, jeans and brown lace-up boots.
When she’d opened the door, he’d looked as lost as he had in his vehicle the other day.
Emma took a sip from her vintage Rocky Mountain National Park mug that had been in her parents’ cupboard for as long as she could remember, the tea’s subtle undertones familiar and soothing. When her parents had purged and moved out of state, she hadn’t been able to let the childhood memory go. Along with a few others.
“We’ll figure it out, Gage. You’re not alone in this. Might feel like it, but you have people willing to help. You have a tribe over here. We’re not going to leave you hanging.”
The faintest smile touched his mouth. “Thanks. I appreciate that. It’s just...usually I know exactly what needs to be done, and I just...do it.” He reached for his tea, downing a swig as if the liquid could right all that had gone topsy-turvy in his life. “But this...”
But this time, he knew what he should do and he was fighting it. Emma got that. She had a little feistiness in her, too. Not as much as her sister, Mackenzie, but still. It was almost never easy to do the right thing. The thing God was asking for that was too big, too hard.
But she also believed Zeke must have had a reason for choosing Gage as the baby’s guardian.
She’d help Gage with Hudson because she wanted to. Because it only made sense for her to lend a hand. But she didn’t plan to admit to Gage that she had ulterior motives. She believed this baby could heal something in him that his ex-wife had broken.
Gage might view himself as a temporary guardian for Hudson, but if Emma had anything to say about it, this situation would be permanent.
Chapter Two (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956)
Gage strode out of Rita’s house on Friday morning with Hudson strapped into a mobile car seat. He half expected the police to show up with guns blazing and accuse him of baby stealing.
Since he’d said yes to assuming temporary guardianship, things had progressed quickly. The past three days, he’d visited Hudson at Rita’s to get better acquainted with him.
Gage had known the boy since birth, but during recent months he’d only seen Zeke a handful of times and the baby twice.
Thankfully, the ranch foreman who had worked for Gage’s uncle had stayed after his passing. Along with the other cowboys, Ford had been covering for Gage’s absence this week. The man had given Gage a crash course in cattle ranching over the last two years. Without his coaching, Gage would have failed a thousand times over.
Thankfully Emma had also agreed to help him out today by coming with him to pick up Hudson. When he’d asked her to consider accompanying him, she’d answered, “What’s there to think about? Of course I will.”
Her giving heart made his resemble a lump of coal.
They’d already loaded the car with piles of Hudson’s things. Toys. Clothes. Gage had baby equipment he wouldn’t have a clue what to do with up to his ears and mashed against the windows of his Grand Cherokee.
He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Taking a baby home with him. But his name was on the paperwork, so here they went.
You’d think with how much he’d loved Zeke, this would be second nature for Gage. He should be saying things like, Of course I’ll take the baby. This is what Zeke chose and I want to honor my friend. But their friendship didn’t mean he was the right person for this.
Which made him wonder why he’d said yes when Zeke had asked him to take care of Hudson. It had been shortly after Leila had passed away from complications from childbirth. Sounded medieval, but it still happened on rare occasions. Zeke had been a mess. Obviously with good reason. Gage had simply been trying to reassure him, never thinking that one day a casual promise would turn into this. Never thinking that Zeke would be killed in a plane crash when his son was just nine months old.
Now, not only was he grieving the loss of his friend, he was supposed to fill his shoes in his son’s life? And how, exactly, would he do that?
At least he had help in the form of the cheerful, capable woman currently opening the back door of his vehicle.
Gage slid the car seat in, and Emma climbed in after, securing it while he went around to the driver’s side.
After some adjustments—making sure the seat was snug, removing their jackets for the drive and buckling themselves in—they were on the road. Emma sat in the back seat with Hudson, talking to him in that soothing tone of hers until he cooed back at her.
A few miles later, Emma announced that Hudson had fallen asleep.
“Good.” Nap time Gage could handle.
“It’s going to be okay, Gage. I promise this is all going to work out.”
He met her bright eyes in the rearview mirror. “You can’t promise that, Emma.”
“It’s not a me promise, it’s a God one. He works things together for good. Even the kind of mountains that don’t appear climbable.”
Gage wanted to tell her that Hudson wasn’t a mountain and ask if she could turn down her optimism for the day so he could just stay worried and distraught. But asking Emma not to be positive and hopeful would be like requesting she forgo the use of her limbs. It was as much a part of her as the blood pumping through her veins.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted for Hudson. And that you plan to find another, better—” Emma’s version of polite sarcasm laced the last word “—home for him, but in the meantime, while you’re keeping him, you need to want him, even if it’s only temporary. It’s important. Especially with how he’s being uprooted. Babies can sense more than we realize, and he’ll know if you’re only halfway in. So at least be committed for the time you have him. Please.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Gage said it more for himself than in answer to Emma.
“You don’t have to. Just love him. The rest is gravy.”
Gravy. Emma made it sound so easy when it would be anything but. His hands strangled the steering wheel, then loosened. But Emma was right. Gage had been raised in a fantastic home with parents who thought he hung the moon. It did matter what Hudson felt over the next few days or weeks or however long this situation lasted until they found a more suitable family for him.
“You can do this, Gage.” Did Emma have a cheerleading background he’d somehow missed hearing about? Did the woman hoard pom-poms in her closet? She was full of confidence in him that was undeserved. He’d already botched a marriage and could so quickly and easily mess things up with Hudson.
“Did I say too much?” The mirror framed Emma’s face as it contorted with concern.
“No. I needed to hear it. Thanks.”
She beamed in answer, and her attractiveness ramped up to a level that caught Gage by surprise. Her lightest-shade-of-brown hair was up in a ponytail today, and she wore skinny jeans, Converse shoes, and a charcoal sweater with a jumbo-sized white heart on the front. Emma had a simplicity about her. An even-keeled nature. She reminded him of...homemade chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. That’s the kind of comfort she offered.
“Thanks for coming with me today. It was over and above.”
“You’re welcome. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with this cutie.” Emma’s mouth softened as her gaze rested on Hudson.
God had worked today out, that was for sure. Gage would give Him all of the credit for the woman in the back seat currently making everything better for every passenger in the car.
When they arrived at his house, vehicles belonging to Luc and his twin sister, Mackenzie, were parked out front beside Emma’s car. Gage twisted, meeting Emma’s not-so-innocent look. “Any chance you had something to do with this?”
“What? Me? Never.” The suppressed chuckle that followed contradicted her words. She couldn’t lie to save her life. A good quality in Gage’s book.
The front door of the house opened and the group exited as he parked and cut the Jeep’s engine—so much for giving Luc a key in case of emergency.
Luc stayed to help unload the car while his wife, Cate, their four-year-old daughter Ruby, Emma and Mackenzie focused on getting the car seat with a still-sleeping Hudson inside. Gage doubted it took four females to transport the boy, but he didn’t mind the reprieve.
In true Colorado nature, the weather had changed yesterday, swinging from freezing to a pleasant fifty degrees. With the heat from the sun, the day felt balmy.
“So,” Luc slapped him on the back, “how you holding up?”
Gage opened the back hatch, amazed everything didn’t tumble out. “Okay. I guess. Think I’m in shock. I only found out about being named Hudson’s guardian a week ago. Still haven’t wrapped my mind around it.”
“Understandable.” Luc snagged a saucer that had various stations of activity around the top. “I can’t say I totally get what you’re feeling, but then again...”
True. Luc hadn’t found out Ruby existed until last summer. So his friend got the surprise part in all of this. And probably the feeling-inept portion, too.
Gage scooped up a box labeled Toys. “How am I supposed to do this?”
“Not sure. Wish I had answers for you.”
“Emma seems to think if I close my eyes and make a wish, unicorns and rainbows will appear and all will be well.”
Luc laughed. “She’s probably expecting this to turn out like one of those romantic books or movies she’s hooked on. We have cable just so she can stream the Hallmark Channel.”
“I would make a good leading man.”
A snort from Luc followed his quip.
The next few minutes unloading with Luc felt like a sliver of normal. The smell of the ranch—a mixture of hay and dirt since the cattle were over the hill—brought Gage’s shoulders down about ten notches.
When he’d quit the law firm and moved out here with Nicole hoping to save their marriage, he hadn’t expected to fall for ranching. But it suited him. He liked the physical labor. Being outdoors. Managing staff and cattle. The business side of things.
It was a surprisingly good fit. Not that he didn’t enjoy practicing law. He still helped people out when the opportunity arose and picked up some contract work from his old firm when it fit his schedule. But the switch in lifestyle had been a godsend at a time when he’d needed it, and now he couldn’t imagine going back to that fast-paced, cutthroat world.
Once they grabbed the last load, including a diaper bag that was thankfully a manly black backpack, the two of them tromped inside.
The kitchen had been taken over by women, a sight that had never happened in this house. In the short time Nicole had actually lived here before taking off, she’d only prepared a handful of meals. Cooking hadn’t really been her thing. Having an affair a second time had been more up her alley.
The kitchen opened to the living room, a butcher-block island separating the spaces. It was covered with lunch items—a tray of meat and cheese and other sandwich toppings. Hudson had awakened and was now sitting in the high chair that someone had assembled. Ruby stood in front of him, entertaining. She wore a blue dress and red cowboy boots, her hair secured in two buns. Luc’s daughter definitely had the inside demeanor to match her outside cuteness.
“We’re going to be friends, okay? I thought we were going to be cousins, but Mommy said we weren’t.” Ruby leaned toward Hudson, voice dropping to a whisper that could be heard for miles. “But we can pretend.”
Hudson chortled in response, filled with nothing less than adoration for the delightful girl in front of him.
“And we’re going to ride horses, and we’re going to get lots of treats from Mr. Joe.” Apparently Joe—the Wilder Ranch head chef who was known for whipping up mouthwatering desserts—had gained a super fan in Ruby. The girl continued her initiation for the baby, listing all of the fun things she planned for them to do.
When Gage had attempted to picture this day, he hadn’t imagined that it would turn out like this. These people filling the space. Hudson happy and not in tears at being torn first from his dad and then his nanny.
At least today—so far—had gone okay. If only Gage could confidently say the same thing about tomorrow.
* * *
Emma held Hudson with his head tucked against her shoulder as she paced the living room in Gage’s house. The baby didn’t like to be cradled sideways. She’d tried that already and had been informed by squirming and tears that Hudson did not appreciate the position. So upright it was.
It had been a long day. They’d left to get Hudson at eight this morning, and now it was thirteen hours later. The full house from earlier had dispersed, leaving only her, Gage and the baby. The man reminded Emma of a caged animal tonight. Trapped. Unable to sit still. He kept popping up to do things. He’d been out to the barn twice already even though his ranch hands knew what he was up against and had things covered.
Gage might not know what to do with himself, but he was going to have to figure that out—and quickly—because Emma was about to go home for the night. And the man who hadn’t so much as held Hudson all day was about to be on his own.
No time like the present. She crossed to the kitchen where Gage was unloading the dishwasher. She hated to interrupt his task—because how attractive was a guy cleaning?—but she forced herself to. “Here you go.” She deposited a drowsy Hudson in his arms despite his startled grunt of protest. “He should be ready to sleep. I think the late nap this afternoon messed up his schedule, but I’ve got him settled down.”
Gage looked at the baby, then her, panic evident. “Maybe you should put him to bed before you go? He’s already so comfortable with you.”
Nice try, Counselor.
“I think it’s better if you do it.”
“Right now? But what do I...do?”
“Hold him.” She pressed down on a grin. “I have to use the restroom. Be right back.” She took her time inside the hallway bathroom, lollygagging, giving Gage time to adjust. When she returned, Hudson had started to fuss a bit. A drowsy, agitated complaint here and there.
Her fingers itched to take him back, but she resisted. Barely. “You’re doing great. Just try to remain calm. He’ll sense if you’re not.”
Gage’s eyes shot to full moon size at that. The man had really great eyes. When he grinned, they crinkled at the corners, and the light sapphire contrasted with his dark hair, making the color pop.
“Now what?” He followed Emma to the front door.
“Now you both get some rest. I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Do I lay him in the portable crib?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think he’ll just...sleep?”
She hoped so.
“Are you sure you shouldn’t just stay? I could sleep in the barn.”
Emma laughed. Those were drastic measures to avoid a night with Hudson. And also very much like something she would read in one of her historical romance novels, with the man trying to save the woman’s reputation from being tarnished.
“No need for that. You’ll be fine.” Her voice was bright. Phony to her own ears. “If you need anything or have a question—big or small—call me. I’ll answer any time of the night.” She kissed Hudson’s forehead, silently praying that things would go well for him and Gage. “I’ll see you two in the morning.”
Crisp air nipped at her as she hurried to her car. The temperature had dropped dramatically once the sun had slipped behind the mountains. She got in, started the engine but then didn’t budge.
Would Gage and Hudson be okay? What if the baby screamed all night? Should she be doing something more? Her windpipe shrunk down to straw proportions.
“God, I need You to handle this. Please.” Emma couldn’t fix this situation for any of them. And Gage had to step into his role as Hudson’s caregiver. Emma would help him as much as she could, but the two of them needed to bond. If they formed an attachment, it would go yards toward Gage keeping Hudson. The kind of healing the man was unknowingly desperate for was currently in his arms in the shape of a wiggly baby boy.
Emma blasted the heat, then turned her phone up to the highest volume for texts or calls and switched off the other app notifications. If Gage needed her, she didn’t want to miss him.
While she had her phone in hand, she sent a text to her sister-in-law, Cate. I’m doing the right thing leaving them, right?Guilt over abandoning Gage was piling up.
Thankfully Cate answered quickly.
Yes! If you stay, it will just prolong Gage figuring this out on his own. And, unfortunately, he has to. Zeke didn’t name you as the baby’s guardian. (Though had he known you, I have no doubt you’d have been number one on his list.) This is Gage’s situation to handle. Come home.
Okay. You’re right. Thanks.
Anytime. And if you happen to bring home a pizza, I won’t complain. Kidding! Because I know you’d do exactly that. I already have heartburn and don’t want to add to it.
Emma chuckled. Cate was eating for three, and she was doing an excellent job of it. And Luc was as doting as a husband could be. If Emma wasn’t such a romantic, their relationship would be cause for mucho eye rolling. As it was, she was faintly envious of what they had. Luc and Cate had started off rocky, but once they’d figured out they were both still crazy about each other, they’d been solid. Steady.
Even with unexpected twins on the way.
The front light on Gage’s house switched off. Was that a good sign? Was Hudson asleep? Why hadn’t Emma thought to install some sort of video baby monitor? There was probably a kind that would have hooked up to an app on her phone. That would have been an excellent idea.
And completely intrusive.
Emma had claimed not to be a stalker, but based on her current thoughts, the accusation would definitely stick.
“Fine. I’ll wait it out. Just for a bit.” She switched off the engine. There was nothing wrong with sitting there for a little while just to make sure Gage or Hudson didn’t panic. That way if Gage called or texted, she’d be close by to assist. If not, he didn’t need to know she hadn’t left yet. And she wasn’t about to text Cate and relay her new plan, because she was pretty sure it wouldn’t be met with approval.
Emma found a sweatshirt in the back that she could scrunch up as a pillow, reclined her seat and closed her eyes. After a short nap, she’d head home and no one would be the wiser.
* * *
She’d left him. Emma had promised to help, and now Gage was alone with a baby. He didn’t even know how to change a diaper! Should he set an alarm for that sort of thing? Or would Hudson let him know when it was time? Wasn’t there something about the diaper—or a line on it—changing color? Emma had explained it all earlier when she’d given him a lesson. He had listened, but now he couldn’t remember the details.
Babies should come with a manual. A legal contract would be even better.
Gage walked with Hudson through the kitchen and back into the living room, copying what he’d seen Emma do. But, instead of resting his head on Gage’s shoulder, Hudson arched back to study his new mode of transportation. The soft material of the navy blue footed pajamas Emma had changed him into stretched with the movement.
Hudson peered up with curious blue eyes. His hair held a hint of auburn, but mostly brown. His chubby fist grasped Gage’s shirt near his collar. He didn’t look tired. When Emma had been holding him, he had, but now?
Not even close.
“What are we going to do with each other?”
No answer. No smiles like Ruby had conjured.
Might as well lay him down and see what happened. Earlier today the crew at his house had set up a portable crib/playpen in his guest bedroom. Gage didn’t have a permanent crib yet, and he wouldn’t be needing one if things went according to plan.
He headed down the hall and into the bedroom, settling Hudson into the portable crib with his blanket and a stuffed elephant. Hudson stared as he backed away.
What now? Would he put himself to sleep?
Gage retreated to the master bedroom, giving his king-size bed a longing glance as he entered his bathroom. Could he risk sleeping in here tonight? What if Hudson cried and he couldn’t hear him? Maybe he should have put the portable crib in his room for the first night. Was it too late for that?
A wail sounded as he rinsed his toothbrush and deposited it back into the holder.
Guess that answered his worry about being too far away. Even someone hard of hearing wouldn’t be able to miss the tornado siren coming from across the hall.
He found Hudson twisted up with his blanket, as if he’d been rolling around and got stuck. Fat, sad tears rolled down the baby’s cheeks, which had turned splotchy.
Gage pulled him out of the mess, snagged the blanket and held it against Hudson’s back. What now? He walked into the living room. Hudson peered this way and that, probably looking for Emma. Or his dad. Or his nanny.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me, buddy. I’d be upset, too. Are you hungry? Or not tired? What’s going on?”
When did kids start talking? Hopefully, around nine months old, because Gage could use some answers from the tyke.
It might be worth trying to feed him. What could it hurt?
Gage somehow managed to make a bottle while holding Hudson, though numerous powder spills and drops of water lined the counter after the impressive feat.
He headed for the espresso leather recliner in the living room and sat. Hudson drank a little, then stared at him. Nibbled on the bottle a bit more. Emma had only fed him the hour before so he probably wasn’t hungry, but Gage wasn’t sure what else to do. He didn’t have a lot of baby-whispering options up the sleeve of his waffle shirt.
He gave up on the bottle, setting it on the floor next to the chair.
Hudson’s head rested in the crook of Gage’s arm. His eyes flooded. A whimper escaped, followed by a cry.
All day, Gage had held himself in check. Not allowing himself to reflect on what Hudson had been through. What he’d lost. First his mother. Now his dad. It was too much for a baby to contend with. That’s why Gage wanted to find him the perfect forever home, and fast. Hudson needed a mom and a dad. Ones who knew what they were doing. Who could give him the love he deserved and the family he needed.
“Your dad was my closest friend in law school.” Like a rusty engine, Hudson’s cry stuttered. “He was the kind of guy who would do anything for you.”
Somehow, he’d gained the baby’s rapt attention. And he wasn’t about to lose it and have him start crying again, so Gage kept talking. “When things went bad with Nicole, he was there for me. I’m not sure I was as there for him when your mom—” Gage swallowed. “When she went to heaven. I tried, but I just...didn’t know what I was doing.”
If only Zeke hadn’t attempted to outfly that storm, he’d be holding his son right now instead of an inept Gage.
Zeke had been rushing to get back from a meeting in Aspen. He’d had his pilot’s license for years and was meticulous about following protocol. That’s why the accident had come as such a shock. But he’d hurried through his preflight check in order to beat the weather and then encountered mechanical issues that could have been avoided.
Moisture coated Gage’s eyes, and he blinked to clear it away. If Hudson went to another home, would they keep Zeke’s memory alive for the boy?
He’d never thought about that before.
Hudson’s face contorted, and he howled again, adding some kicks of frustration. Gage understood the sentiment.
“There was this one time in school...”
Once again, Hudson paused to listen. Perhaps he was searching, hoping to hear his dad’s voice. Either way, Gage kept talking. He told Hudson about his dad. He started with their first year of law school, and by the time he was three stories in, the boy was asleep.
Long lashes rested against his plump cheeks, body limp in Gage’s arms. Sweet boy. Zeke and Leila had sure made a cute kid.
Gently, Gage eased the recliner footrest up. He didn’t want to move and wake Hudson, so he’d close his eyes and rest here for a minute.
And maybe when he woke up, his life would make sense again.
Chapter Three (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956)
Why was her nose so cold? Had it frozen off her face?
Emma’s hand snaked up, rubbing the extremity. Like a sleeping limb, it buzzed, attempting to return from the land of glaciers. Had the heat kicked off in the cabin during the night?
She scrounged for her blankets, recognition of her whereabouts quickly registering when she latched onto her car’s steering wheel instead. A painful new kink in her neck made its presence known when she moved her seat to an upright position.
Emma scrambled for her phone. No messages or calls, so Gage and Hudson must be okay. And it was five in the morning.
Oops. The car was freezing, and so was she. She rubbed her arms through the sleeves of her down jacket. How could she have slept so long in such poor conditions?
“Birdie, I need you to start up nice and quiet now.” Emma tapped the dash of her Mini Cooper. When she’d purchased it, an I See Birds sticker had adorned the bumper. She’d since removed it, but the birding phrase had prompted her to choose the name.
The car’s engine, usually a gentle purr, roared. “Shh. Did you turn into a lion overnight? That’s enough noise out of you.” She kept her headlights off as she slowly eased down Gage’s drive. Emma had no desire to wake anyone up or notify Gage that she’d slept in front of his house for the last few hours.
When she got back to the cabin, Emma snuck inside quietly, attempting not to disturb her sister, Mackenzie, who slept in the other bedroom.
She climbed into bed, the warmth a comfort, but couldn’t shake the chill from her body. After about an hour of hoping sleep would come, she gave up and readied for the day. A hot shower and a cup of tea did wonders for bringing her back to normal temps. She dressed in a black T-shirt—Best Aunt Ever scrawled across it in white print—along with skinny jeans and a long, comfortable cardigan.
She was sitting at the small kitchen table, nursing a second cup of tea, eating toast and reading her morning devotions when Mackenzie came out of her room in pajama bottoms and an old T-shirt sporting their high school mascot—a mustang. Even groggy and half-awake, Mackenzie was long and willowy and strong and feminine all at the same time.
Emma had gotten used to their sister roles long ago. She was of the plain and simple variety and liked reading, tea and binging on chick flicks. Mackenzie was far more adventurous, always needing to conquer the next thing. She could be found white-water rafting or taking bull riding lessons. Actually, she hadn’t tried that last thing. Yet.
“Hey, you’re up early.” Mackenzie shuffled to the coffeepot and gazed longingly at it as if sheer desire might make the necessary contents jump inside.
“Didn’t sleep great this morning. I’m about to head back over to Gage’s. See if he and Hudson survived the night.”
“That’s right.” Mackenzie removed the coffee from the freezer and filled the reusable filter with grounds, then added water from the pitcher in the fridge. The girl liked her coffee a certain way, so Emma never attempted to make it for her. “I’m sure they were fine. Gage will do great with him,” she added with a dismissive wave.
Her sister didn’t have the same concern over Gage and the baby that Emma did. But then, she hadn’t been the one to encourage Gage to keep Hudson in the first place when he’d wanted to find someone else right away.
He’d tried, though. Right now there weren’t any other options. So Emma really hadn’t pushed him into a decision he wouldn’t have come to on his own.
“Still, I should get over there. You know how hard taking care of a baby can be.”
Mackenzie got out a mug with the new Wilder Ranch logo that Cate had recently designed. None of the mugs in their cupboard matched, and Emma liked it that way. Each morning she picked out one that best fit her day. Her mood. Today hers was one she’d made in ceramics class back in high school. Just the right size but a little off-kilter.
Her sister covered a yawn. “Not really.”
True. Mackenzie didn’t involve herself much with the Kids’ Club that Emma ran. And when they’d been younger, Emma had babysat a ton while Mackenzie had given riding lessons to earn spending money.
The two of them were night-and-day different but managed to get along. For that, Emma was thankful.
She cleared her dishes and said goodbye to her sister, then hopped back into her car, which still held a bit of the warmth from when she’d driven it home early this morning.
When she arrived at Gage’s, the time on her dash read seven thirty. It was crazy early in the morning to arrive at someone’s house, but she doubted Gage would complain.
Emma grabbed her purse and her to-go mug of steeping tea. Three cups was more than her norm, but she needed the extra—albeit small—boost of caffeine it would offer.
She stood on the step of Gage’s sprawling ranch house and knocked lightly. It had been his uncle’s ranch until a few years ago. Kip Frasier. A quiet but sweet man who always kept candy in his pocket at church and would dole it out to kids. He’d never married or had children of his own. When he’d passed away, he’d left the ranch to Gage. People really liked to leave things to the man. Land. House. Baby.
Gage had lived here only a little over two years.
The door swung open. Gage’s hair was damp as if he’d recently showered, and he wore a plaid shirt unbuttoned over a white T-shirt with jeans and leather slippers.
Gage Frasier, you are one attractive man.
One who, unfortunately, didn’t see her as anything more than a neighbor or his friend’s little sister. Emma wasn’t even on his datable radar.
The only good part about Gage not being interested in her in that way—besides the fact that she’d never be able to give up on the dream of having children—was that she wouldn’t have to admit to him that she had something in common with his ex-wife.
Before Nicole had run off with James the Homewrecker, Emma had dated him.
The whole ordeal was embarrassing. Mortifying. She’d been so naive and foolish. Emma should have known immediately that everything James spouted was a lie—as if anyone would ever find her as irresistible as he had claimed she was—but she’d allowed herself to be swept away by his flattering words and gestures. He’d been as fake and slimy as the toy goo her niece Ruby liked to play with.
“Morning.” Gage’s voice had that scratchy, unused-as-of-yet quality.
“How’s Hudson? How’d the night go? Did either of you sleep?”
His mouth tugged up at the corners, and her girlish hopes and dreams gave a collective sigh at what would never be. “Come in, Emma.”
She did, the quiet click of the door sounding behind her. There was no sign of the baby anywhere...
She took off her coat, and Gage hung it in the front closet, storing her purse, too. She set her tea on the entry table as Gage motioned for her to follow him. They walked down the hall and into the guest bedroom. With beige walls and a simple olive green bedspread on the full-size bed, the room was masculine. If Hudson stayed, she’d offer to help redo it into something more fitting for a baby boy. Maybe with a vintage airplane theme in honor of his father, Zeke. A nice framed sketch or two, with a light blue color on the walls. Brown accents.
Getting ahead of yourself, girl. Rein it in.
Emma didn’t even know how the night had gone, and here she was, planning the future.
Hudson was asleep on his back in the portable crib, one chubby hand above his head in a fist like he was cheering in victory. As if sensing their presence, his eyelids fluttered, then opened.
“What a good boy you are! You slept in your own bed? Such a big boy.” Emma had him in her arms before he could consider crying.
“Actually, he slept with me in the recliner for most of the night.” Visions of Hudson snoozing on Gage’s chest made her own constrict.
Was there a more attractive picture than that?
Emma laid him on the bed and proceeded to change his diaper while he studied both her and Gage. Hudson arched his back when she tried to put his footie pajamas back on his feet, so she tickled his tummy, distracting him so that she could finish the task.
“Are you hungry?” Emma asked Hudson as she picked him back up.
“Ba.”
“Ba,” she repeated back to him. “That could mean yes. Or no. Or nothing.” Her amusement earned a drowsy smile from him in return. “Do you like scrambled eggs?” Those were soft. Or he might prefer a bottle or pureed baby food. “Let’s go figure out some breakfast.”
The three of them moved into the kitchen. “Here.” She handed the baby to Gage and retrieved the eggs from the fridge. She knew they’d be inside because she’d asked Mackenzie to pick up groceries yesterday morning to leave at Gage’s. Just in case he didn’t have much. He was, after all, a guy. And based on past conversations, she didn’t think Gage was much of a cook.
Gage held Hudson facing out so he could see his surroundings. Still not perfectly at ease, but better than last night. “Andrea—his previous nanny—already texted this morning to check on him.”
“That was nice of her.”
“Definitely. I told her he’s doing well. Not that I knew exactly how he would wake up. But at least then you’d be here, so I wouldn’t have to worry.”
“Sounds like you two did great.” Emma flashed a grin at Hudson as she made her way to the stove with the eggs and a carton of milk. He kicked and waved his arms in answer. “Sweet boy.” She leaned in, pressing numerous kisses to his forehead. “If you slept all night, I bet you’re hungry.”
Emma turned to Gage’s cupboards and scrounged for a bowl, hiding a megawatt smile. It had worked! Her plan to abandon Gage and Hudson had panned out.
Gage hadn’t answered all of the questions she’d lobbed at him while on his front step, but he wasn’t a haggard mess. He’d managed a shower. That had to be a good sign.
Emma had hoped and prayed Hudson would sleep well. She’d also anticipated some fussiness or possibly a meltdown—from him or Gage. But the scenario she’d walked into this morning was way better than she’d imagined.
Maybe convincing Gage to keep the baby would be easier than she’d thought.
* * *
“He didn’t exactly sleep all night.”
Emma cracked an egg and emptied it into the glass bowl, placing the shell on a paper towel. “Oh, he didn’t? That’s a bummer. So what happened? Did he cry?”
“He woke up at about five.”
Her hand froze midcrack on the second egg, clear liquid sliding down the outside of the glass bowl. She finished dumping in what was left, then wiped up the spill with a paper towel. After foraging a piece of shell out of the eggs, she tossed the paper towel and shell into the trash.
“I heard a noise around then.”
Emma’s head whipped in his direction, panic dancing in her silver-blue eyes. “You did? What was it? Ouch.” Her fingers dug into the side of her neck as she faced the counter again.
“A vehicle, and I don’t think it would have been one of the guys. Too early. Do you have a knot?”
“Yeah, but it’s not a big deal. So...you didn’t see who it was?”
“No. When I moved, Hudson roused. I fed him a bottle and he went back to sleep. That’s when I laid him in his bed.”
“Oh, what a relief.”
That was a strange response. Unless... It couldn’t have been Emma he’d heard this morning, could it? But why would she be here at that hour?
Gage switched Hudson to his left arm. “Let me.” He took over massaging the knot for her. The faint hint of something sweet—like vanilla or cinnamon—teased his senses. His stomach rumbled, thankfully quietly, in response. To the idea of food or Emma herself?
The first, of course. Emma was too young for him and too...pristine. Like a dish someone would put on a high shelf and then never use. He was world-weary and disheartened regarding relationships—like an old, dirty slop bucket used for feeding pigs. The two items didn’t belong in the same vicinity. Emma deserved a fresh relationship with a man who hadn’t been through what he had. Who wasn’t jaded. And who wanted kids.
Strange that his mind had even traveled in that direction regarding her. He’d known her for a couple of years and it never had before.
“You don’t need to do that.” Emma motioned to his kneading, while at the same time relaxing her neck in the other direction to allow him access. “But it feels really good.” Since Emma faced the counter, she couldn’t see his amused grin. He liked how the truth rolled from her tongue, often, it seemed, without her permission.
Except at this moment, when she was acting a bit elusive.
“Thanks for the massage.” Emma returned to the eggs, cracking and adding two more. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t worse, that Hudson wasn’t up every hour or two.”
Dread rolled through him. “Babies do that?”
“They can when they’re little. Probably not at this age, but with all he’s been through...not impossible. Especially with the new surroundings.”
“So how’d you sleep last night?”
“Great.” The word reeked of fake perkiness. “Where’s your frying pan?”
He pointed with the toe of his leather slipper to the lower cupboard. She found a small one, then sprayed it with oil and set it on the burner.
Hudson squirmed in his arms, and Gage put him on the floor. He crawled across the kitchen to the dining table and began inspecting a chair. He put a hand on the bottom rung and attempted to pull up, then wobbled and dropped back to the ground. Confusion and worry puckered his little brow as he made his way back to them. Poor kid. Everything was new and different for him.
I miss your dad, too, little guy. I wish I was more like him. But, I promise, I am going to find the right family for you.
Emma beat the eggs, then sent them careening into the pan. It whooshed as the mixture hit the heated surface.
When Hudson gave a disgruntled cry, Emma turned to him. “Oh, kiddo, you’re so out of your element. We need to unpack the rest of your toys this morning.” She opened a lower cupboard and retrieved a large metal mixing bowl, then a plastic serving spoon from the utensil drawer. Once she handed them to Hudson, he contentedly made a racket with the two items.
Gage leaned against the counter, facing Emma as she stirred the eggs in the pan. She didn’t look at him.
“Anything I can do to help?”
“Nope. This is too easy to require assistance.” After finishing the eggs, she turned off the burner, carrying the pan over to Hudson’s high chair. She used the spatula to spread some of the scrambled eggs onto the tray and then blew across them. Once she returned the pan to the stove, she scooped Hudson up from the floor and transported him to the high chair.
“Do you want some eggs? Does that sound good?” She buckled him in, securing a bib around his neck. He fisted a handful of food and maneuvered it, not so gracefully, into his mouth.
Emma got a plate out of the cupboard next to Gage. “Hungry?” She nodded toward the pan. “I made enough for you.”
“And you?”
“No. I already ate.”
She moved to the utensil drawer, but Gage beat her to the spot, blocking her from opening it. “Emma, what were you doing around five this morning?”
“Sleeping.” Her answer came out fast, but it slipped up at the end, almost a question.
“So there’s no way it was your car I heard, right?”
Her profile stayed stoic for all of three seconds before cracking into something near embarrassment. “Before I left last night, I wanted to wait it out. Make sure there wasn’t an emergency or that you didn’t need me right away. And then I fell asleep in my car.”
“Are you serious?” His voice dialed up to a nine. She’d slept out there almost all night? In the cold?
“I promise it wasn’t planned. And I’m so sorry I woke you. If I hadn’t, Hudson might have kept sleeping.” She huffed. “It was stupid of me to let that happen.”
“It was stupid, but not because you woke me. I could care less about that. And I’m not worried about Hudson being up for a few minutes. He did great. But I am concerned about you. Emma, you can’t be doing stuff like that. You need to take care of yourself. Hudson and I will be fine. And I’ll call you if we’re not. Okay?”
Her mouth pursed to one side. “I just...needed to make sure the two of you were good. And it truly was an accident. Okay?” A grin tempered the cheeky mimicked addition, seasoning it sweet.
The brittle parts of him softened. It was hard to stay upset around Emma. She just sort of...diffused him.
“Next time you pull something like that, I’m going to put you in a time-out.”
Her laughter brightened the room as much as a strand of twinkling white Christmas lights.
What was he going to do with this woman? How could Emma be so considerate and selfless? It was starkly different from anything Gage had ever experienced with Nicole. After they’d married, his ex-wife had pretty much focused on herself. He had hoped that the tendency would change with age and maturity, but it hadn’t.
Nicole had put her needs above everyone else’s. She would never have watched out for Hudson—and him—the way Emma did.
When Gage had told Emma yesterday that he planned to pay her for watching the baby, she’d thrown a royal fit. He still would...somehow. But in her mind, she was just volunteering at this point. Before Hudson had come into his life, Gage had known that Emma and Nicole were nothing alike. That they couldn’t even be classified in the same category.
But the last few days had only highlighted their differences.
One was sunshine. Just her presence made breathing easier. The other was pneumonia—stealing his oxygen. Wreaking havoc like a storm that wouldn’t quit raging.
Turns out he was quite partial to bright blue skies and cloudless days.
Chapter Four (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956)
The front door of the house opened, and Emma glanced up as Gage let himself in, stomping a light dusting of snow from his boots and brushing it from his hair.
“Look who’s here!” Emma spoke to Hudson, who was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table with her, a smattering of blocks, baby toys and a ball between them.
Hudson tilted forward, banging his hands against the cowhide rug. “La-la-la-ba-ba.” He blew bubbles as Gage took off his boots, finished hanging up his coat and joined them.
“Ba to you, too.” Gage created a human triangle and rolled the red plastic ball to Hudson. The boy tried shoving it in his mouth. Thankfully, the medium size allowed him to grip it easily but not insert it.
It had been six days since Hudson’s arrival, and Emma had spent copious amounts of time playing with him and holding him during the week. Anything to make the transition smoother.
“How come when you roll the ball to him, he doesn’t eat it?”
“He does a lot of the time.” Emma lifted the white burp cloth from the floor next to her. “I’ve been wiping off slobber when he wants to play again.”
Gage’s nose wrinkled. “Am I allowed to say yuck?”
“You’re only allotted two complaints of disgust in a day, so I’d suggest saving it for diaper-changing time.”
His cheeks curved. “True.”
The ball shot out of Hudson’s grip, and Emma returned it to him before he could complain. Back into his mouth it went. The boy had to be teething the way he chewed on everything around him. “How was your day? How are ranch-y things?”
Gage’s chuckle messed with her midsection. Like she’d overloaded on something delicious and her body couldn’t decide how to respond.
“You do realize you grew up on a ranch, right?”
“A guest ranch is different. We don’t even have cattle year-round, as you well know.” They only had them for the guests to move in the summer, and nothing like the size of Gage’s operation.
“Another one of the ranchers from church dropped by today to tell me—in the spirit of helpfulness, of course—that I’m crazy for changing things around here the way I have. They think I’m messing up everything my uncle did because I switched to summer calving. But it’s helped me cut down on everything—cowboys, supplemental feed. Plus, the profit will be better because they’re fattening up faster.”
“It’s really amazing to me that you’ve done so well with ranching.”
He waved off her compliment. “Ford is a great teacher. And he didn’t even balk after I researched summer calving and decided I wanted to try it. We could have always gone back to the way things were if it didn’t pan out. But so far it’s been great. And...there I go again, boring you with ranching details.”
“Actually, I like listening to you talk about it.” Emma wanted to hear just about anything Gage had to say, and it had nothing to do with the smooth timbre of his voice or the way his brow wrinkled in concentration when he spoke about something he was passionate about. Those were just lovely little side benefits.
“That’s because you’re way too nice.”
Hudson dropped the ball, then crawled over to Emma’s lap. She picked him up, nibbling on his cheeks. “There’s some leftover macaroni and cheese. I made homemade for lunch. You’re welcome to it.”
Those lake-blue eyes of his narrowed to slits. “Please tell me you didn’t bring over the ingredients to cook again.”
“I didn’t. I may have grocery shopped for here, but I put everything for your house on your tab at Len’s, just like you made me promise to do.” The contract he’d written up was on the fridge. And, yes, he’d made her sign it.
Gage had turned all serious, so Emma raised her right hand like she was taking an oath. “Promise.”
“Good girl.”
She stifled a groan. That was exactly how he thought of her, wasn’t it?
Emma put Hudson down, and he crawled into Gage’s lap. Gage picked him up, holding him against his chest. Their slightly awkward interactions were endearing. Each day Gage’s actions were smoother, less rehearsed. And Hudson was following his lead. Their relationship had been warming at Crock-Pot speeds.
Emma still wouldn’t mind that camera to see what happened around here in the evening, though. Gage didn’t complain, but it sounded like Hudson often woke at least once a night. What she wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall.
“So what are you two up to tonight?”
Gage placed Hudson back on the floor, then built a stack of blocks for him to knock down. “Pretty much this. It hasn’t even been a full week since Hudson arrived. I haven’t gotten used to adding anything else in yet.”
“So you don’t go anywhere at night after I leave?”
“Nope.” Gage rebuilt the tower when Hudson squawked. “How can I? I’m barely handling this.” He motioned between himself and Hudson.
“But you guys are doing so well together.”
“We’re doing okay, but I don’t want to rock the boat.”
Emma understood his reasoning; at the same time, if Gage never left the house with Hudson, never found any sense of normalcy in going out and doing regular, everyday things, then how would he ever come to the conclusion that he should keep the baby?
And Emma was already witnessing a difference in Gage. It might be slight, but the softening and refining had begun, thanks to Hudson.
If he got out more, maybe he’d see that he could have a life and keep Hudson, too.
“The two of you should come with me to the talent show at church tonight.”
Ruby was participating in the Wednesday night church club talent show, and she’d been practicing her selection for weeks. Emma had already heard her poem more times than she could count because every time Ruby said, “Aunt Emma, do you want to listen to my poem?” Emma answered in the affirmative. At this point she had the whole thing memorized, but she wouldn’t miss the final product for anything.
Gage’s mouth tugged to one side. “Of course I’d like to see Ruby do her thing, but I don’t want to mess up our rhythm.” He nodded toward Hudson, who had crawled under the coffee table and was trying to back himself out of the predicament. So far he wasn’t complaining, so Emma left him to figure it out on his own if he could.
“Hudson would enjoy it, too. The kids have been working hard. He’ll be totally entertained.” Maybe totally was a stretch.
“You think?”
“He loves Ruby.”
“That’s true. But who doesn’t?”
Emma laughed. “She is precious. You should come tonight. Try it. You can always head home if it doesn’t work.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Are you just saying that so that I’ll stop bugging you about it?”
“Maybe.”
She chuckled. “Fine. I’m done.”
Emma said goodbye to Hudson—who had extracted himself from the table, smart boy—with a smattering of kisses and a tight hug. She gathered her things and put on her coat and shoes, then paused with a hand on the front doorknob. “I’ll see you later tonight. It starts at six thirty.” She scooted outside and shut the door before Gage could reiterate that he wasn’t planning to come.
Getting him out of the house to prove that he could manage an extracurricular activity with Hudson in tow was worth a shot.
And of course it had everything to do with that and nothing to do with seeing him again.
* * *
Gage scooped another mound of pureed peas onto the baby spoon, then deposited the load into Hudson’s mouth. The boy shuddered, then swallowed.
“I don’t blame you for not liking them. They don’t smell—or look—very good.” On the next bite, Gage added a taste of applesauce like he’d seen Emma do. That was better received.
The Bluetooth speaker on the kitchen counter shuffle-played Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors songs, but the house was too quiet.
Like it always was after Emma took off in the evening.
“What should we do tonight? Another round of knocking down towers? Or maybe we’ll read some books.” One full box of Hudson’s things had been children’s books. Zeke must have read to him often, because the baby was surprisingly content to sit in Gage’s lap and listen. He studied the pictures and touched the pages and babbled in his own little language. Reading before bedtime had become their norm.
Crazy to think it had only been six days since he’d moved Hudson to the ranch. Life had become a whirlwind of diapers and stinted sleep. Gage’s mind had been in constant prayer mode. Please comfort Hudson. Don’t let me mess up his life in the time he’s here. Help me find the right home for him. And thank You for Emma.
No way would he or Hudson be surviving any of this without her. When she arrived in the mornings, Gage’s muscles relaxed like overcooked pasta noodles. Hudson greeted her with waving arms and megagrins.
Emma made everything better. She couldn’t help it. It was just the effect she had on the world.
That had to be why his house felt so empty when she left.
Gage finished feeding Hudson, wiped his face and hands, removed his bib and plucked him from the high chair. It was six o’clock. He’d been putting Hudson to bed around eight—at Emma’s suggestion—and the schedule had been working.
“Well?” Gage held Hudson, tapping a finger against his nose, which Hudson promptly caught and then attempted to eat. “What’s our plan? Do you want to get out of the house? Go to the talent show and see Ruby?” Hudson’s two bottom teeth pressed into the flesh of Gage’s finger, and he removed it from the baby’s grasp, wiping the slobber on his jeans.
Maybe Emma was right. Gage could use a night out. And Hudson lit up around Ruby. Surely a bunch of performing kids would hold his attention for a little bit.
Plus, Emma would be there, so Gage would have help with the baby. And her company. “One later night won’t hurt, will it?” He’d make sure they were home by eight thirty or nine at the latest.
Hudson crawled around Gage’s room while he laced up his leather boots and changed into a button-down checked shirt. The boy was dressed in a onesie that proclaimed he was “cute as a button”—true story—along with soft pants made of the same material. He wore socks that resembled tennis shoes, and since he couldn’t walk yet, Gage assumed shoes weren’t necessary.
The drive to the church was uneventful, and Gage’s lungs leaked with relief when they arrived unscathed. They’d managed step one. Now on to the next. Should he take the car seat in? Or unbuckle Hudson?
Questions like this shouldn’t be so hard, but he was a newbie. Gage decided to rescue Hudson from the car seat since the boy didn’t love being strapped into it. He tugged a winter hat on him and wrapped him in his blanket in lieu of a coat. The idea of wrestling the little monkey into a jacket didn’t appeal to him.
He and Hudson arrived in the sanctuary just as the children’s director was making announcements. They should probably sit in the back so he could escape at the first sign of trouble.
But then Emma waved at him from near the front. The skin around her eyes crinkled, her lips bowed and she looked like home. How could he resist? Gage hurried to their row, greeting Luc, Cate and Mackenzie as he scooted past all of them to the open seat next to Emma. Had she saved him a spot? Based on the packed pews, he’d say yes.
“I’d just about given up on you two.” Hudson lunged into her arms, and she removed his hat and smoothed the static from his hair. “Hey there, handsome.” She smooched Hudson’s cheek, creating a noise that made him giggle.
Emma had changed her clothes since she’d been at Gage’s. She wore black leggings and boots, a loose wrap with dotted shirtsleeves peeking out. Her hair was down, tempting him to explore the level of softness, and, to top it all off, the woman smelled like dessert. Sweet. Cinnamon.
Gage leaned in her direction as he took off his coat, skin tingling at the close proximity to her. “You changed clothes.”
That’s what came out of his mouth? He’d been aiming for more of a compliment than an observation.
“I had Hudson drool and a bit of plum on my shirt from today, so...” Her shoulders lifted.
“You look really nice.” There. That was better. Though pretty would have been a more fitting—albeit trouble-inducing—description.
Her chin jutted back slightly in surprise. “Thanks.” And then the lilting lips were back, mesmerizing him for a full three seconds. Emma had really great, full lips. She rarely wore anything on them, but tonight they were glossy and as distracting to him as earrings were to Hudson. The boy was currently going at Emma’s like a cat after a laser light.
She slipped them free from her ears. “Can you hold these?” She dropped the silver dangles into his hand. His fist closed around them as the first performer took the stage and Emma’s attention registered up front.
Gage tucked them into his front shirt pocket. How could something as simple as Emma removing her earrings without complaint intrigue him so much? She would do anything for Hudson—or really anyone—without a second thought. Emma loved big. She’d make a great mom one day. And an amazing wife. Surprising there wasn’t a line of men at her door waiting to ask her out.
Come to think of it, Gage didn’t hear much about her dating at all. Why not? Emma was a catch. For someone more fitting, of course. But he could observe, couldn’t he? As long as he didn’t get any crazy ideas that they were right for each other.
He could just imagine what Luc would have to say about that. No way would he consider Gage, with his messy past and cynical attitude about love, a match for sweet, innocent Emma.
The first couple of talents—a juggler, a tap dancer, a little girl who sang remarkably well and then one who sang precisely the opposite—all went by pretty quickly. Hudson got passed down the row, and Cate held him for a bit. When Ruby walked onstage, she sent the baby back their way so she could record the performance. Emma kept Hudson when he made it to her. She retrieved a teething ring from the diaper bag, and Hudson chewed on it.
Before Ruby started, she waved at Luc and Cate, then her aunts, as if greeting her fans before she could proceed. Cate laughed, whispering something in Luc’s ear. Man, what a change. The two of them had turned a one-eighty, completely renewing their relationship in a way that Gage hadn’t thought possible.
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