The Rancher's Surprise Daughter
Jill Lynn
A reunion he never expected…In this Colorado Grooms novelLuc Wilder’s surprised when his ex-girlfriend Cate Malory arrives at his Colorado guest ranch. And he’s downright stunned when she introduces him to his three-year-old daughter, Ruby. Bonding with the bubbly little girl is easy—Ruby loves ranch life, just like her daddy. But after all the secrets, can Luc and Cate find a way to trust in each other again?
A reunion he never expected...
In this Colorado Grooms novel
Luc Wilder’s surprised when his ex-girlfriend Cate Malory arrives at his Colorado guest ranch. And he’s downright stunned when she introduces him to his three-year-old daughter, Ruby. Bonding with the bubbly little girl is easy—Ruby loves ranch life, just like her daddy. But after all the secrets, can Luc and Cate find a way to trust in each other again?
JILL LYNN is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers group and won the ACFW Genesis Contest in 2013. She has a bachelor’s degree in communications from Bethel University. A native of Minnesota, Jill now lives in Colorado with her husband and two children. She’s an avid reader of happily-ever-afters and a fan of grace, laughter and thrift stores. Connect with her at jill-lynn.com (http://www.jill-lynn.com).
Also By Jill Lynn (#u02a4c5f0-945a-5a2b-9376-5c00f5dd13be)
Love Inspired
Colorado Grooms
The Rancher’s Surprise Daughter
Falling for Texas
Her Texas Family
Her Texas Cowboy
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
The Rancher’s Surprise Daughter
Jill Lynn
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08553-3
THE RANCHER’S SURPRISE DAUGHTER
© 2018 Jill Buteyn
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
“What do you think about living at the ranch?” Luc said.
“I like it,” Ruby answered.
“Good.” Luc captured the little girl in a hug. “Because I like you.” He turned back to Cate, waiting for her answer.
“It’s not what I expected,” she said.
“What did you expect?”
“Actually, I have no idea.” She laughed, and Luc smiled.
“Everybody’s happy,” Ruby said.
“What?” But Cate had an inkling she knew what her daughter meant. Could she tell that her parents were finally getting along?
Luc lowered his voice. “Is she referring to us?”
“I guess she could tell you were making things difficult.”
Luc gave an exaggerated snort and then laughed, and Cate’s insides warmed like molten chocolate cake. It was nice finding their friendship footing again. Maybe they could get along as parents without letting anything romantic bloom.
The door opened behind her, and Luc’s face lit up with recognition. Was it a woman? Scalding jealousy closed off Cate’s throat, not boding well for the pep talk she’d just given herself about her and Luc being just friends.
Herein is love, not that we loved God,
but that he loved us, and sent his Son
to be the propitiation for our sins.
—1 John 4:10
Dear Reader (#u02a4c5f0-945a-5a2b-9376-5c00f5dd13be),
When I was on a walk in our neighborhood, I reached a house where the mom and little girl were outside. In the thirty or so steps it took me to pass their home, she greeted me, asked numerous questions and jabbered the whole time. She was outgoing and bright and adorable, and in that moment, the character of Ruby was inspired. Sometimes it’s just a little spark that gives an idea wings.
This book has been helped along by so many. Thank you to Lost Valley Ranch in Colorado for your incredible help and beautiful guest-ranch setting. Thank you to my sister, brother-in-law and niece, who let me use pieces of their story as inspiration for Luc’s and Ruby’s special hearts. And to my readers—thank you for all of your input and contributions to this book. I couldn’t do it without you all, and truly, it’s so much more fun with you. You are, quite simply, the best.
If you’re not hanging out on my Facebook or Instagram pages, I hope you’ll come over and join us. (@JillLynnAuthor (https://twitter.com/JillLynnAuthor) for both.) For upcoming book releases and sales, sign up for my newsletter at Jill-Lynn.com/news (http://Jill-Lynn.com/news).
Jill Lynn
To my amazing readers, thank you for encouraging me and being a part of this writing journey. Your support means so much to me.
And a huge thank you to Lost Valley Ranch for your help and inspiration.
Contents
Cover (#u7270fae4-6142-58d1-b892-7d6ae3626c97)
Back Cover Text (#u5dfd94f1-d5a7-5d73-bd1b-b99612dfb0d7)
About the Author (#ue0e0f2d7-2d29-5d51-9940-a0d0dcd7d51d)
Booklist (#u489a632d-adef-5134-9843-7f61fbf14270)
Title Page (#ue56df09b-7a05-5738-9c77-364a17bf5db6)
Copyright (#ub953f39f-df88-5d03-adf2-44e2084812a0)
Introduction (#u7589ef9a-8295-5e83-b3ed-8a8e27be0450)
Bible Verse (#u4fa0eeab-8abe-550d-b9aa-9c66be7b9551)
Dear Reader (#u46d366f2-8001-5fda-a29e-e494852458ec)
Dedication (#u7f2169bd-57af-5029-834c-190ad6962616)
Chapter One (#u9040d057-2887-5f00-9da5-235e5fd1e8e3)
Chapter Two (#ub869d3d6-f8e7-586f-ac9a-8e3e50117643)
Chapter Three (#ue5b39645-1544-59dd-b2e0-b71b73bb1cae)
Chapter Four (#u847b87bd-4cd3-5cee-ae45-abf3bd876649)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u02a4c5f0-945a-5a2b-9376-5c00f5dd13be)
Nothing like walking into a situation blind.
Lucas Wilder bounded up the lodge steps, the late-July wind that twisted across his sun-scorched arms as dry as aged kindling.
His sister’s text that someone was looking for him in the lodge hadn’t been helpful in the least. And then she’d gone off radar, not answering his request for more info. Was it an employee? Shouldn’t be a ranch guest as last week’s were already gone and a new batch didn’t arrive until tomorrow.
Luc crossed into the comfortable lobby that guests could relax in after a day of ranch activities, scanning the room for whoever had beckoned as his eyes adjusted to the dim interior lighting.
“Lucas.”
The feminine voice slammed into the backs of his knees. He willed his legs not to wobble like a newborn calf’s as he faced her.
Catherine Malory. She sat in the club chair stationed to the side of the front window, sunlight streaming over her shoulder, highlighting rich, dark-chocolate hair.
She looked a hint older than the last time he’d seen her. Worried, and yet somehow the addition of a few lines around her eyes and lips only added to her beauty.
Attraction flared to life, the sight of her like oxygen to an ember Luc was certain he’d stomped out years before.
What was she doing here? It had been years since he’d left Denver and their relationship, yet he’d never been able to fully erase Cate from his mind. Luc handled forty-some guests each week plus a slew of employees. Surely he could handle one conversation with a woman he’d once loved.
“Four years.” His words quaked out, a cross between teenage boy and wounded animal. Oh, man. He was doing an excellent job of handling it so far.
A crease formed between Cate’s slim eyebrows. “I know how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other, Luc. Four years, four months.” So like her to have the details exact.
He simply stared, not knowing how long they analyzed each other before he managed to make use of his voice again. “What are you doing here?”
“I—” Her hands clenched together in her lap. “I need to talk to you about something.”
Ah. This felt like safe ground. She must need something. Help, he could do. Love? No, ma’am. They’d tried that once. There’d been some immaturity on his part—he could admit that—but mostly he’d loved her, and she hadn’t believed him.
“What do you need?” Even after all of this time, after how they’d left things...he wouldn’t turn her away. But hopefully once she said what she needed to, she’d leave. Luc refused to ride that kind of emotional roller coaster again. Since Cate, he’d barely dated. It was easier to focus on work. He had a good life running the guest ranch with his sisters. He was fine on his own. Work might be a lonely companion, but it didn’t leave him shattered like Cate had.
“You’re going to need to sit down.” Her voice came out quiet. Beaten.
“That bad, huh?” Sadness and maybe even a little fear poured from her, and his pulse thundered with curiosity. “Come with me.”
When she stood, he led her down the hall to his office for some privacy since a staff member could come through at any moment. Cate shuffled along behind him as though he was directing her to an execution instead of a cushioned seat.
The small space housed a desk, two filing cabinets, framed photos of his family and the ranch in various stages over the years, plus the Top Twenty Guest Ranch Award they’d received the past two years running. Luc motioned for Cate to sit on the charcoal futon that took up one corner.
She sank down, eyes glazed, almost as though she was in shock.
For a moment Luc considered sitting next to her, but the air in the room was already on short supply. Unwilling to risk the close proximity, he perched back against the desk instead, stretching long legs out to hold him steady.
Cate wore a navy shirt with white capris and camel-colored sandals. And even though she looked put together—gorgeous, which he was nowhere near willing to admit—something was definitely off. Luc was almost positive moisture shone in her soft chestnut eyes.
The silence tortured him. “Just tell me, whatever it is.” How bad could it be? His mind raced with possibilities. Her parents had been pretty tough on her. Could it be something with them? But what would that have to do with him?
She sucked in a breath, apprehension flitting across her face before she opened her mouth and let loose. “My daughter needs to have surgery.” A hand momentarily pressed against her lips as though stemming the flow. “That wasn’t how I planned to say that.”
“You have a daughter?” Her revelation pierced like a stab wound. Luc would expect that Cate had moved on after him, despite the fact that he’d never accomplished the same himself. But even now, after all of this time, she still felt like his.
But she wasn’t. He searched her finger for a wedding ring, but the skin was barren.
Luc shook off the crushing blow. It didn’t matter. Their past—her decisions since then—had nothing to do with him. She had a sick daughter. He’d deal with that now. The rest? He’d wait until after she left to process.
“Do you need money?” Where was the father? Why was she coming to him for help?
“No. I need...you.”
He had to be missing something. It had been a long time since Cate had needed him. None of this made sense.
“I didn’t know until you’d left. I didn’t find out until you’d been gone for over a month that I was pregnant, and then I kept waiting for you to contact me, to try to fix things between us. But you didn’t.”
He resisted a growl. “You told me not to.” What she’d said...how she’d said it...he’d never forget it.
“I know what I told you.”
His gut bounded for his boots like a loose boulder on a steep hill as he processed the rest of what she’d said. I didn’t find out until you were gone that I was pregnant.
“Cate.” His voice was low and barely existent, but he managed to spit out the question rattling his mind while shock and disbelief ricocheted through him. “What are you saying?”
Remorse brimmed again, and Luc read the truth in the soulful depths before she spoke.
“I’m saying...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. And that she’s yours.”
* * *
Catherine Malory thought she’d understood humility, but she’d never been brought so low as this moment. Who walked into the life of a man she’d lied to, hid a child from for years, and just blurted out that he was a father?
Luc would hate her. And she deserved it. In the beginning she’d felt vindicated keeping Ruby to herself—especially with the way Luc had left and how Cate had grown up being torn between her selfish parents. The feeling of being unimportant had never left her, like a disease that infiltrated her bones.
She’d been attempting to put Ruby first. To protect her. But Luc would never understand that.
He pushed off from the desk, a long, lean giant in a heather-brown Wilder Ranch T-shirt, faded jeans and boots. “I...have a daughter? You’re saying she’s mine?”
His words ached with a misery that resonated in her own chest. What had she done? “Yes. I’m so sorry. I know an apology isn’t enough. I just—”
“Where—” Luc scrubbed a hand through maple hair, though the short cut left little room for mussing. “Where is she?”
“She’s here.”
His head rolled back as if he’d taken a blow to the jaw.
“We came in, and your sister Emma was headed out to the barn. I remembered her from you talking about her, but of course she didn’t know me. She offered to show Ruby the horses after hearing I needed to talk to you. I tried to say no, but Ruby begged to go with her.”
And Cate had realized the conversation would be much easier without Ruby present. She hadn’t processed through that before she’d gotten in the car and trucked out here. But what would she have done with Ruby anyway? She didn’t have family to watch her. A friend would have, but Cate didn’t like to be separated from her daughter. Especially with the girl’s heart condition.
“Emma’s great with kids.” Luc’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Ru-Ruby will be fine.”
Their daughter’s name coming from his lips for the first time sent Cate scrambling to keep her careening emotions under control.
“Why are you here now after all of this time? What changed? And how do I know...?” Luc’s chest expanded. Cate could imagine his heart beating triple time, because hers felt as though it might explode. His heated hazel eyes held hers. “How do I know she’s mine?”
She’d expected it, even planned for it. Still, the sting surprised her. She stated Ruby’s birthday at the end of November. Eight months after Luc had hightailed it out of Denver. “When you first left I thought it was stress making me not feel well. Took me a while to figure it out. By then you were long gone.”
Every last doubt scrolled across his face.
“Ruby was born with an atrial septal defect.”
Luc’s hand splayed against his chest where she knew his own scars were. “Same as me.”
“As to why now, she needs to have the hole closed. And I couldn’t... If something happened to her and you didn’t know she’d even existed...” Cate would never have forgiven herself. She already couldn’t forgive herself for keeping them apart for the first three years and eight months of Ruby’s life.
The familiar rush of fear that came with thinking of Ruby’s surgery and anything happening to her precious daughter blurred her vision. “I knew you needed to meet her before her procedure.” God had been working on Cate’s hard heart, and He’d made that very clear. Almost as though she’d been given a deadline for fessing up.
Since she’d become a Christian about a year ago, Cate had experienced a number of lessons in growing her faith. Trusting God’s insistent nudging to tell Luc about Ruby had been the toughest one by far.
Luc scrubbed both hands across his face as though attempting to wake himself from a nightmare.
“We can do a test to prove you’re her father. Your name’s on her birth certificate.”
Arms dropped to his sides like leaded weights. “If you went so far as to do that...” His voice scraped like sandpaper. Worn. Weary. “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
The question she didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t want to share wasn’t exactly a mature, adult response.
Luc knew about her childhood—and her parents’ divorce—but would he understand how much their actions had messed with her?
“Never mind.” The bite in his tone sent guilt skimming across her skin. “It’s too late for excuses. Nothing you say is going to matter right now anyway.”
“Okay.” Cate raised her hands. Whatever he wanted, she’d do.
Luc sank to the other end of the futon, miles of agony stretching between them.
“Does she need open-heart surgery?”
“No. Cardiac catheterization. They’ll close the hole with a device.”
His shoulders inched lower, his relief evident that Ruby would only need the less invasive procedure that would involve a catheter from her leg into her heart. Already, even with knowing as little as he did about Ruby and possibly not even believing he was her father, he felt for her. Didn’t want her to go through the same trauma he had as a child.
That spoke volumes about him.
“Did you tell Emma who the two of you were?”
“No. I think she thought I was a potential guest or that I was applying for a job.” Cate had been purposely evasive.
His audible sigh filled the small space. “That’s good. At least for now. Does...Ruby know about me?”
“Lately she’s been asking questions, and I’ve started answering them. She knows you exist, but she doesn’t know we’re here to see you.”
Eyes a mixture of fading green and brown leaves seared into her skin. She half expected to see smoke rise and smell scalded flesh. “In case I didn’t see her? If she’s my daughter, I would never walk away from her. I think you know that, Cate.”
Ouch. That truth stung, as did the if. Though she couldn’t blame him. Even with Ruby having the same heart defect as he did, why should he believe her? She hadn’t exactly proved herself trustworthy over the past four-plus years.
“Do you want to take some time? We can come back. Talk in a few days.” If someone had walked into her life and told her news of this magnitude, Cate would be in a puddle on the floor. But not Luc. How was he so calm? Why wasn’t he raging at her?
“I’m not sure time is going to change my shock. I want to meet her.”
She’d come here for this, but still, her stomach churned. “Are you sure you don’t need some time to process?”
He didn’t bother to answer. Just raised an eyebrow.
“Okay.” If only saying the word out loud would make it true. Cate could tell herself she was okay a million times, but she was afraid the feeling would never follow. “Then let’s go.”
Luc’s boots echoed down the hallway like a death knell on Cate’s conscience. Panicked prayers flitted through her mind as she attempted to keep up with his pace. Cate had been praying for Luc and Ruby since she’d figured out this meeting needed to take place, and she could only hope she hadn’t ruined either of their lives with her selfishness. Somehow she wanted healing. For all of them.
But today she simply prayed for survival. Good thing she believed in a gracious God. One who forgave her when she didn’t deserve His mercy. Because that was the kind of God a girl like her needed.
* * *
Luc should probably take some time to process like Cate had suggested, but since nothing made sense right now, he figured, why wait? If he let Cate and Ruby leave, he might never see them again. Cate already seemed so jittery and nervous that he feared losing them both forever. Not that he had them. He wasn’t naive. Cate could just as easily disappear from his life again, taking any chance of his knowing Ruby with her. And if she was his daughter, Luc wanted that opportunity.
If she was his daughter.Mind-boggling. How had his life gone from mundane to unrecognizable in a matter of minutes?
They headed down the lodge steps just as Emma exited the barn, a girl who must be Ruby next to her. The distance allowed Luc to study her. Short little thing—course, she’d only be three years and eight months if Cate was telling the truth. Ruby wore bright pink shorts and a multicolored T-shirt, her animated motions and whatever she said causing Emma to laugh.
After spotting Cate, she ran in their direction, his sister following behind.
Intuitively, Luc had known Ruby would be beautiful—how could she come from Cate and not be?—but the sight of her almost brought him to his knees. Her silky caramel hair was a shade or two lighter than her mother’s. Closer to his. He had the niggling sensation that if he rummaged for an old photograph, Ruby would look strikingly similar to his twin sister, Mackenzie, at this same age.
Ruby flung her arms around Cate’s legs, and Emma stopped in front of them. “Your girl is a spoonful of honey. We had a good time. Thanks for letting us hang.” His sister pulled her hair back and held it at the nape of her neck as a gust of wind wrapped around them.
“Come see me again?” She directed the question to Ruby, who answered with an emphatic nod. After a thank-you from Cate, Emma was off, light brown locks once again twisting in the high-powered breeze as she headed back to the barn. His little sister ran the Kids’ Club at the ranch. She was a kid-wrangling, child-whispering rock star.
“Mommy, can we get a horse-y?”
Cate’s laugh was strangled. “Our apartment doesn’t allow dogs, let alone horses, sweets.”
Ruby looked up, noticing him. “Hi.” Big brown eyes—just like Cate’s—held his.
A rush of emotion clogged his throat, but Luc managed a response. “Hi.”
“I’m Ruby. What’s your name? Do you live here? Do you have a horse-y?”
Her questions ignited a grin. “Luc.” He glanced at Cate, and she shook her head in response to his unspoken question. Ruby must not know his name to be able to create the link to him being her father. Probably a good thing at this point. “And yes, I live here and I have a horse.” Or should he say “horse-y”?
He sank to bended knee in front of the girl, partly to be closer to her height, partly because his legs were about to give out.
The blood in his veins thrummed a rhythm that whispered mine. As though it knew without a test or proof that Ruby was his daughter.
Why he believed Cate, Luc didn’t know. Course, the heart defect seemed a blatant link. When he’d been a child, they hadn’t considered it genetic, but in the years since, they’d proved it often was.
Still, he should be careful until he knew for sure.
Yet even with that logical thought backing him up, everything in his body hurt. He wanted so badly to reach out, to hug her, to somehow know everything about her in one instant. He fisted hands at his sides. The idea that Ruby was his, that he’d missed so much time if Cate was telling the truth, made every muscle tense.
“Any chance you want to ride one of the horses?” Everything was better on a horse. Plus, it would give him a chance to get to know Ruby a little.
Her chocolate eyes lit up with excitement, head bobbing fast and furious. She definitely had a sense of adventure. Must drive Cate crazy. The thought warmed him.
“Luc—”
“She’ll be fine.” He stood, earning crossed arms and a scowl from Cate. Her thin, dark eyebrows joined together in obvious agitation, somehow only managing to highlight her beauty. Luc had never had a problem being attracted to Cate. It was in the mature, getting-along department that they’d struggled.
Luc waited an extra beat to see if Cate added any additional protest. He didn’t want to be careless with Ruby, but most often her condition had very few symptoms and just needed to be fixed.
When silence reigned and Cate’s shoulders drooped as if relinquishing control, Luc put a check in the victory column. Missing almost four years of Ruby’s life definitely gave him an upper hand at the moment.
The three of them headed for the corral, and Luc directed them to Buster, one of the smaller palomino quarter horses with a calm temperament, who was already saddled and ready to go. He hoisted Ruby up and made sure she felt comfortable. Told her where to hold on. Her face shone with wonder and excitement as she commented about how the color of the horse reminded her of caramel popcorn.
“I’m going to walk with you and lead Buster the whole time, and anytime you want to stop or get down, you just tell me.”
“I can’t do it by myself?”
Adventurous little thing. “Not until you’ve had more experience. We’d have to get you started on a pony—”
Cate’s wide eyes cut him off, communicating all kinds of warning signals and flares. Luc tempered his amusement. He’d probably been getting ahead of himself a bit.
“We’ll be back in ten minutes,” he said to Cate, lips quirking at her squeak of indignation and the fact that she was, most definitely, not invited.
She’d had Ruby to herself for three-plus years. Luc deserved some time with her away from Cate’s hawk-like attention.
Chapter Two (#u02a4c5f0-945a-5a2b-9376-5c00f5dd13be)
Six agonizing days later Luc paced back and forth near the fireplace in the small living room of his cabin. His friend Gage Frasier perched on the arm of the chair flanking the couch, grilling Luc like the lawyer he was with questions that didn’t have satisfying answers.
“Any news on the paternity test?”
“Nope.” Luc dropped to the sofa, his body no longer functioning with coherent thought or movement.
He hadn’t seen Ruby or Cate since last Saturday because he’d decided the most logical course of action was to wait until he knew for sure that she was his daughter. Though Cate hadn’t shown any doubt, she’d agreed to his suggestion that they not say anything to Ruby until they had the paternity test results back.
But waiting was as easy as living with a broken toe.
In the short time he’d spent with Ruby on Saturday while she’d ridden Buster, he’d quickly come to the conclusion that his possible daughter was captivating. Entertaining. And bubbled with as much energy as her little body could harness.
The only other time Luc had been smitten so fast was with one other female, who, when he and Ruby had returned to the corral after twenty minutes instead of ten, had been spitting mad.
Luc could admit he had fully enjoyed Cate’s disgruntled state. Currently, his guilt meter regarding anything she thought rested solidly at a zero.
Hers should be shooting through the roof.
“What’s she like?”
“Ruby’s...” How to narrow it down? “Sweet. She talks nonstop. The kind of girl who would make friends with a fly.” He’d gathered that because she had, in fact, talked to the fly that had ridden on Buster’s saddle horn for part of the ride. And she’d befriended Luc instantly, jabbering the whole time. He’d learned that she had a best friend at day care and that her mom didn’t let her do more than an hour of “lectonics” in a day even though some kids got to do bunches more.
That one had made him smile. He’d found himself silently agreeing with Cate.
Ruby had told him her mom read “lots” of books to her every night, announcing it as though she was the most special girl in the world and their reading time only confirmed it.
That information had created an uncomfortable surge of sympathy in Luc, flooding him with images of Cate juggling everything on her own. Ruby and her condition. Work. Bills. How had she managed it all? From what he knew of her parents, he couldn’t imagine them stepping in to help when Cate had found out she was pregnant. But he’d quickly stomped out the rush of concern that came with imagining Cate doing everything on her own.
He was not going to feel bad for her. Not after the decision she’d made to keep Ruby from him.
Luc had gotten a DNA test done in town first thing Monday morning. They’d sent in his sample, and Cate and Ruby had gone to the testing place in Denver. Now it was ticking toward five on Friday, and he was tormented to think he’d spend the weekend without knowing the results. So much felt undecided. And on top of his questions, Cate had texted him the date of Ruby’s procedure. One week from today.
“So Cate didn’t explain why she never told you about Ruby?” Gage’s dark hair looked as rumpled as Luc’s. At least he could count on sympathy and understanding from his friend. Gage had been through a horrible ordeal when his wife left. Sometimes Luc wondered if the man would ever recover.
“Nope. But I really didn’t let her. What does it matter? What’s done is done.” Anger boiled under the surface. Those last two comments were lies. He both wanted to know what Cate had been thinking and felt so wounded and aggravated that he didn’t believe any answer she gave would help.
“Luc.” Gage’s voice snapped with concern, but Luc wasn’t sure he could handle any more girl talk—problems that didn’t have solutions were his least favorite subject. “Your phone just buzzed.” Gage motioned to the coffee table.
Luc snagged it and opened the new email, relief tingling through his limbs when he saw it contained the results. Sawdust coated his mouth, saliva running for the hills. He clicked to read the report, the letters swimming before him. Not Excluded was typed across the top of the page in bold print. The testing facility had coached him on what this meant.
He was Ruby’s father.
The phone slipped from his grip, bouncing lightly on the sofa cushion.
“I’m a dad.”
It was as though he’d taken a horse kick to the chest, the air in his lungs instantly gone. He and Gage stared at each other. Frozen.
Unable to stay still, Luc pushed up from the couch, his strides quickly covering the small cabin’s living room. He ended up at the back window that faced open ranchland, seeing the grass-covered hills in a new light. Yesterday it had been land passed down to Luc and his sisters when their parents had moved to a warmer climate in order to accommodate his mom’s health. Today a new generation existed. A little girl with silky hair and a nonstop mouth and adorable brown eyes who was his. His.
“I have to see her.” He crossed the space and rummaged for his keys in the kitchen junk drawer.
Gage followed him. “Don’t you think you should wait? Calm down first?”
Why did he have so many scraps of paper in this stupid drawer? Items tumbled over each other as he searched for the simple metal key ring. “I don’t see a real possibility of that happening in the very near future.”
“Guess not.” Gage nudged Luc to the side, then found the truck keys in a much calmer, more methodical manner.
But then again, Gage hadn’t just found out he was positively a father.
His friend offered up the keys on the palm of his hand. “Do you want me to go with you?”
Luc appreciated Gage’s support, but he needed some time to clear his head. Maybe the drive would help, though he wasn’t confident anything would at the moment. “Nah. Thanks, though.” He snatched the metal ring that held three keys and proceeded to the front door, snagging his boots.
“What are you going to do? About custody?”
He paused to glance at Gage after yanking on the first boot. “What do you mean? What can I do?”
“File for it.”
“I don’t know.” He couldn’t think beyond seeing Ruby right now. Couldn’t deal with logistics. “I’m angry, but I’m not sure that’s the answer.”
“You need to protect yourself. She’s already kept Ruby from you for years. Who’s to say she won’t take off and disappear to another state and you’ll never see your child again?”
Red flashed, and Luc pulled on the second boot with heated force. Cate wouldn’t...would she? But the same thought had entered his mind. When they’d readied to leave on Saturday, Luc had wondered if he’d ever see them again. Cate had written down her address and phone number, almost as though proving to him she wouldn’t do anything of the sort.
Still, how could he trust her after what she’d done?
“Do you want me to look into it? See what your options are? I know someone who deals with these situations. I can ask.”
Gage was the only man Luc knew who ranched as a later-in-life choice. He’d been a smarty lawyer at some big firm until he’d inherited a ranch from his uncle. Gage and his wife, Nicole, had moved to the nearby ranch just over a year and a half ago. And then Nicole had decided a different life looked better, and she’d been gone in a blink. Gage had been on his own ever since. He ran the ranch, very quietly helping the church or people in the community out with legal matters when they required it.
Luc just never imagined he’d be in need of that advice.
“I don’t know that I have any other choice.” A stampede of hooves vibrated inside his skull. “I’m not sure if I have any rights and if she can control letting me see Ruby. So, yeah. Check it out.”
“I will.”
“Good thing I have you on retainer.”
Gage chuckled. “You don’t. You couldn’t afford me. This friend business really works in your favor.”
“True.”
Luc grabbed the piece of paper with Cate’s address from the kitchen counter. He’d left it there as a reminder to pray for Ruby—not that the trigger had been necessary. The girl and her mother hadn’t left his thoughts all week.
He’d need the details if he planned to show up on Cate’s doorstep unannounced.
It wasn’t very considerate of him to plan to ambush her at their home. But then again, he hadn’t expected Cate to show up on his doorstep with a daughter he never knew he had.
Turnabout was fair play.
* * *
“Mommy, will you play the cupcake game with me?” Ruby stood before Cate with a well-loved game in her hand that still boasted the reduced thrift-store sticker price.
Before Ruby, Cate had never stepped foot in a secondhand store. She’d never struggled for money growing up. But love and attention? Those had been harder to find.
It wasn’t as if her parents had been abusive in any way. She’d just been more...overlooked. They were simply too caught up in themselves to notice anyone around them—including the little girl left in the wake of their selfishness.
Growing up, her parents never saw eye to eye on anything, but on the subject of her pregnancy, they’d instantly been in agreement. They’d advised her that having Ruby would ruin her life. That it would be too hard. That it would crumple any chance of her being successful and she’d have to scramble to make ends meet. They’d told Cate that if she kept the baby, there’d be no help from them. Money or otherwise. Probably hoping to sway her decision. It hadn’t worked. But it had left them estranged.
They’d been right. Cate had hustled. Finished school early on an accelerated path. She’d scrounged for work, taking anything and everything she could find. Raising Ruby was the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life.
But her parents had also been so very, very wrong. Because the adorable munchkin standing in front of Cate hopping up and down—game pieces rattling inside the box as though agreeing with her impatience—was by far the best thing she’d ever accomplished. Worth every second of her energy and love.
“Please, Mommy?”
“Okay, Rubes. I’ll play.” After a couple of games Ruby would have a little more playtime and then Cate would read to her before bed. She still went down early—partly for Cate’s sanity and partly because she often worked the evening hours until falling into bed herself.
Removing the charcoal-framed glasses she wore for computer work, Cate set them next to her Mac computer on the desk that occupied one corner of the living room in their tiny, two-bedroom apartment.
The screen in front of her went dark as it fell asleep, but she knew what lurked behind the curtain of black. A project with a looming deadline. She was close, but she couldn’t quite get the branding package for the local cupcake shop just right. And she needed it to be perfect, because she needed the next freelance job after this. Cate loved her career as a graphic designer and the freedom it allowed her to work from home and cart Ruby to and from the small in-home day care she went to.
A majority of Cate’s jobs came from a firm in Denver who hired her as a subcontractor, and she filled in the extra income they needed with side work.
They moved over to the sofa, and Ruby set up the game while Cate covered a yawn and considered making a cup of tea. Twenty-four years old and this was what she’d come to on a Friday night. But then, getting pregnant at twenty had put a damper on any wild and adventurous life plans.
Ruby chose a blue base and began building a cupcake. She never really followed the game cards, instead creating whatever combination suited her fancy at the moment.
“Your turn, Mommy.”
Cate picked the yellow holder, choosing to add a plastic layer of chocolate, wishing, not for the first time, that this game consisted of real cupcakes and she could inhale the chocolate one in her hand...after adding a layer of buttercream frosting.
Her mouth watered just as a knock sounded at their door, causing her to jump like a popcorn kernel in sizzling oil.
Who would be at their door on a Friday night? Was it her nosy neighbor again? Millie Hintz wasn’t the landlord, but she’d appointed herself as the head of the building’s nonexistent neighborhood watch program. A spry eighty-year-old with white hair who seemed to be shrinking in height over time, her unexpected pop-overs were unnerving because she always scanned the apartment from the doorway like she was going to catch Cate with a hidden mountain lion or other unapproved item.
But even though Millie considered it her job to know what was happening in everyone’s lives, she was kindhearted. Cate had decided the visits were more about loneliness than anything else. And if anyone understood that, it was her. Talking to Millie wouldn’t cost her more than a few minutes of time.
“You go,” she told Ruby, pushing up from the sofa and crossing the few steps to the door. Sometimes Millie brought them cookies. The monster ones with M&M’s and chocolate chips. Yum.
Cate pressed her face against the peephole, squeaking in surprise when it wasn’t shrinking Millie on the other side of the door, but Luc.
What was he doing here?
All week he’d been on her mind, her thoughts zipping into overdrive... Had she done the right thing telling him about Ruby? She hoped so. It had taken all of her strength to share her daughter with him. They’d done the DNA testing earlier this week, and she’d let him know about Ruby’s procedure date, but other than that, she hadn’t heard from him. What was he thinking showing up at their apartment like this? Didn’t the man know how to use a phone?
And more important, did he know she was home and did she have to answer? Her pulse bumped along like her car had on the gravel road that led to the Wilder ranch. And of course she was in old, black, faded-to-gray yoga pants and a yellow V-neck T-shirt, her hair in a disheveled low ponytail.
Quite the package.
Frustration leaked out in a disgruntled huff. “So much for cookies.” She’d take Millie over Luc any day.
“I can hear you through the door, Cate.”
She jumped to the side as if he had X-ray vision and could also see her through the barrier.
“You really know how to creep a girl out.” Cate quickly redid the tie that held her hair and swiped under her eyes for runaway makeup.
“Are you going to open the door or are we going to keep talking through it?”
Ruby appeared next to Cate. “Is that my friend Luc?”
Ever since they’d been to the ranch, Ruby hadn’t stopped chattering about “my friend Luc.” It was all Cate could do to keep from plugging her ears, because she didn’t have a clue what was going on in Luc’s head since she’d shown up and royally flipped his life upside down.
She both wanted and didn’t want to know what he was thinking.
What he thought of her.
“Yep, it is.” Cate undid two locks with shaking fingers—not that the security mattered so much now that she knew how flimsy her door was—and twisted the knob.
Luc practically took up the whole frame. What was it about him that always made her feel like his presence sucked the oxygen out of the room? He wasn’t that tall. Maybe an inch under six foot.
His eyebrow quirked. “Can I come in?”
Was answering no a legitimate option? Ruby nudged past Cate, latched on to Luc’s hand and pulled him inside. The scent of the outdoors came with him.
“Come on. I want to show you my room and my new doll and my ponies and my pink lamp. Me and Mommy were playing a game. You can play with us if you want.”
The adoration for Ruby written on Luc’s face was enough to make Cate’s knees go swirly. Though none of it was directed at her.
An annoyed meow sounded from the top of the couch. Princess Prim rose from her favorite resting place and stretched her spine as if their ruckus had woken her and she was not pleased about it. Narrowed eyes dissected Luc, naming him an intruder in one fell swoop. Good kitty. Cate silently promised her a treat for later.
“I thought you couldn’t have pets.” Luc’s head swung from the feline to Cate.
“We can’t have dogs, but Prim is more royalty than pet. She runs the place. Ruby and I are just her lowly servants.”
Ruby giggled and gave Luc’s hand—which she hadn’t let go of—a determined tug. She yanked him across the small apartment living room and past their dining table. But at the threshold to her bedroom, Luc paused.
“You okay if she shows me her room?”
A dried biscuit had somehow gotten lodged in her throat. Considerate of him to ask, but Luc had as much of a right to Ruby as she did.
That was what scared her the most.
Cate managed a nod, and the two of them disappeared inside. She heard Ruby’s continuous chatter and Luc’s low voice rumbling back questions or answers. The whole thing made her drop to the couch and hold her head in her hands. What had she done?
God, You’d better be right. Protect her. And me. Please. You know I didn’t want to do this.
Princess Prim burrowed onto her lap, tilting her head in a way that asked questions. The royalty wanted answers Cate didn’t have.
“What are you? The press?” She scrubbed hands into the soft fur behind Prim’s ears. “I just don’t want her to get hurt. And I’m afraid of losing her.” The whisper came out forlorn, and Prim purred in sympathetic response.
What were the two of them doing in there? Moving Prim to the sofa, Cate eased to the edge of Ruby’s room, close enough to hear but not be seen.
Prim let out an incriminating meow. She’d followed Cate and now rubbed against her leg. Cate nudged her gently away with her foot and put her finger to her lips in a shushing motion—as if the cat could understand her. The move only caused Prim to meow with interest and sneak between her feet as though they were playing a game. Cate’s hiding place wouldn’t last long at this rate.
Tea. She could make that cup she’d been craving earlier. It wasn’t eavesdropping if the kitchen happened to be almost directly across from Ruby’s doorway.
Cate made her way toward the pint-size kitchen as slowly as possible, her lungs constricting at the sound of Luc’s booming laughter mingling with Ruby’s sweet giggle. She caught sight of Luc perched on the bed and Ruby on the floor, her head bent in concentration as she showed him something.
And then, instead of finding herself in the kitchen, she was standing in the doorway. Both of them looked up as if questioning the reason for her presence.
“Hey, I...” ...wanted to hear what you were saying. “Does anyone want something to drink? Luc? I didn’t even offer.” When you showed up unannounced at my door.
Good thing none of these snarky thoughts were actually coming out of her mouth.
“I’m fine, thanks,” Luc answered, and Ruby shook her head.
Dismissed without a second thought. Eerily similar to her childhood. The emotion wrapped around Cate like an old, tattered blanket she’d tried to throw out more times than she could count. But somehow every time she opened her closet, there it was.
Cate microwaved water in her favorite Anthropologie monogram mug—a fabulous thrift-store find. At the insistent beeping that the microwave had finished its work, she popped open the door and dunked her finger into the liquid to check the temperature.
Ouch. She snatched her poor skin back out. Scalding.
Ripping open the calming tea bag—like it would make a dent in her current state of mind—Cate bobbed the trapped tea leaves in the cup, her agitation sending ripples across the water.
When she’d first found out she was pregnant with Ruby, Cate had felt vindicated in not contacting Lucas. He’d never tried to fix what had gone wrong between them or answer the accusations she’d questioned him about in the end. Yes, she’d confronted him about cheating on her after a friend had tipped her off. But Cate had just wanted answers. Wanted Luc to tell her he wasn’t seeing someone else and confirm the truth she already felt in her bones. He had quickly denied doing anything of the sort...but the more she’d pushed for details, the more he’d shut down.
They’d fought and said so many horrible things to each other.
Cate sipped her tea, leaning back against the countertop, eyes closed against the memory of that night as hot liquid coated her throat. Man, they’d been young. Stubborn. And completely inconsiderate of each other.
Finally, she’d told him to leave. To never contact her again.
The strangest part was, he’d listened. Cate didn’t plan to tell the man currently one room away from her that she’d waited for him to fight for her. To love her. She’d wanted to have a calm conversation about what happened—to find out the truth and listen to Luc—not just lob accusations back and forth.
But she hadn’t heard from him after that night. Only radio silence.
Cate crumpled the tea package while blinking away unwanted moisture. She tossed it into the garbage and slammed the cupboard door shut. But the askew trash can blocked it from closing, not giving her the pleasure of a loud crash.
She attempted to leave it for all of two seconds, then groaned and opened the door, straightening the wastebasket so that the cabinet shut flush.
After Ruby had been born and the heart defect had been found, Cate had been so focused on her daughter that she’d attempted to put Luc out of her mind.
She’d decided she was right to keep Ruby to herself. That she was protecting her daughter from being subjected to parents who didn’t get along—Cate knew too well the kind of wounding that could inflict on a child. Even after they’d grown into an adult.
She’d clung to bitterness and fear, letting them dictate her choices.
Until just over a year ago. Through a little girl and her mom at day care who invited Ruby to attend Sunday school, Cate had found herself on a padded church chair for the first time in her life. She’d met God within those walls, and a piece of her that had always felt forgotten became known.
God had worked on her over the year, slowly convincing her that while she might not be able to trust Luc or even herself, she could trust Him. Ruby needing the procedure had been the last key in getting Cate to tell Lucas the truth.
But she was still afraid.
That Luc would try to take Ruby away from her. That his presence would wreak havoc on the safe life she’d so carefully woven for them. That she’d foolishly be drawn to him all over again.
If Luc decided to be a part of Ruby’s life, Cate’s focus would remain on their daughter. She wasn’t going to entertain any attraction to Luc or let her mind wander regarding how things had gone wrong so quickly between them at the end.
Cate refused to leave a shattered little girl in the wake of any of her own selfish desires.
Which led to the main question throbbing behind her temples with ferocity. Did she even need to worry about Luc being in their lives? Why was he here tonight? Was it to tell her he was in?
Or out?
Chapter Three (#u02a4c5f0-945a-5a2b-9376-5c00f5dd13be)
The scent of garlic in Cate and Ruby’s apartment—a remnant of dinner, Luc would guess—made his stomach growl. In his hurry to get here and see Ruby, he’d forgotten to eat. Not a normal occurrence for him.
He sat on Ruby’s bright purple bedspread while she showed him her colorful ponies. He’d already met her collection of dolls.
On his way into Ruby’s room, Luc had given the apartment a quick once-over. The size of a matchbox with everything in its place. So Cate was still the neat freak she’d once been. But the pieces and colors she used in the apartment gave it a comfortable feel. Artistic and homey. Even still, Luc felt strangely claustrophobic. He was used to wide open spaces. The building barely had any grass outside with no playground to be seen.
He had the strangest urge to snap Ruby into his arms, barrel out of here and never come back.
“This one’s my favorite.” Ruby held up a white pony with purple hair.
At times she talked so fast Luc could barely decipher her words. For the most part he’d been drinking her in—watching the nuances that made her unique—while trying not to overdo it with his interest. So far he’d learned she tugged on her earlobe when she was thinking and that she rarely stayed in one position for more than sixty seconds.
See? She needed a ranch for a backyard. But that wasn’t Luc’s focus in being here. It was to discuss the paternity test results with Cate, and then for the two of them to tell Ruby he was her father. He needed to stay on point.
“It’s time to get ready for bed, Rubes.” Cate stood in the doorway to the room, her bare toes peeking inside.
Luc glanced at the small clock on Ruby’s nightstand, surprised to see how much time had passed since he’d arrived.
“But...” Ruby’s brow pinched, her voice escalating to a whine. “But my friend Luc is here.”
Her friend Luc. Sweet girl. Little did she know how her life was about to change. Luc prayed it would be for the better and that she’d adjust without the news harming her or causing turmoil.
“I know,” Cate answered with patience and a hint of weariness, “but it’s getting late and you need your sleep. We can still read a story if you get your pajamas on and brush your teeth.” She infused pep into the last part, but it was lost on Ruby.
A storm of opposition continued to brew in the half-pint in front of him. Luc pushed up from the twin bed, the frame creaking under his added weight. “I need to talk to your mom. I’ll do that while you get ready and then maybe...” He looked to Cate. “Maybe I can read you a book?”
After a moment of hesitancy evidenced by the thumbnail slipping between Cate’s teeth, she nodded.
Luc followed Cate out of the room, shutting the door behind him and stopping in the middle of the living room. If he walked out the space from wall to wall, he’d probably only get in six long strides. Had it shrunk even more while he was with Ruby? Or maybe it was just being near Cate with no daughter as a buffer.
“I got the test results back. Ruby’s mine.” His throat tightened. How had they gotten here? Anger and confusion and sadness all whipped through him like a gust of Colorado wind. “They sent an email a little bit ago.”
No surprise showed on Cate’s features at his announcement. But then, he hadn’t accused her of cheating on him four years ago. The opposite had happened. And it had been the worst moment of his life when he’d denied doing any such thing...and she hadn’t believed him.
Luc couldn’t stand it when someone didn’t trust him. He’d lived that back in high school and then again with Cate, and he had no desire to repeat the scenario.
Cate motioned to her computer. “I haven’t checked my email, so I didn’t get it yet, but I also don’t need it. I know she’s yours.” Weighty silence stretched between them. “But I’m glad you have the answers you need.”
“So now what?”
“I don’t know.” Her hands lifted, their slight shaking gunning for his sympathetic side. He quickly slammed the door on that unwarranted response. “I guess that’s up to you. How involved you want to be. If you want to see Ruby.”
“If?” Heat seared his voice. Was she joking? Didn’t she know him better than that? Cate looked as though she was about to dissolve into an emotional flood, and despite his outrage, Luc didn’t want that. Especially for Ruby’s sake. They didn’t need to start out back in the same boxing ring they’d ended in the last time. He made a second attempt to answer her in a calmer tone. “Of course I want to see her.”
“Then I guess we figure out a plan. A schedule.”
Luc wanted all of Ruby in his life, not a color-coded calendar of planned times. But that was impossible. Even if he did want to transport Ruby out of this place, he couldn’t. Cate would never stand for it. He wasn’t that much of a fool.
“What about telling her?”
Her eyes momentarily closed, fingertips massaging her temples. “I’ve been prepping her as much as I could. I asked her if she’d want to meet her father.”
“What did she say?”
Ruby scampered into the hallway. “I’m gonna brush my teeth, and then I know what book I want my friend Luc to read. Boo-boo bear picked it out. But, Mommy, I still need you to huggle me.”
After that barrage of information, the bathroom door banged shut.
Luc needed a three-year-old translator. “Huggle?”
“Snuggle and hug combined.” Cate’s face softened, the curved lips that surfaced over Ruby enough to take out a man with less resentment propping him up at the knees. “And in answer to your question, you’ve met her—what do you think she said? To Ruby, the more, the merrier. She wants to meet her dad. You.”
“So we’ll tell her tonight?”
The enormousness of his question made filling his lungs an impossible task. It must have affected Cate the same, because her chest stuttered numerous times as it rose and fell.
“Yes.” Sorrow lines surrounded liquid brown pools of remorse. “Luc, I really am sorry.”
And he really didn’t want to hear it right now. One day they’d have to get into the whys. One day he’d have to move toward forgiving her. Today was not that day.
Luc had been talking to God plenty about Ruby and Cate this week, reaching for answers that felt miles away. And while he knew the man upstairs would be nudging him to deal with his ire toward Cate in no time at all, tonight was about telling Ruby the truth.
When he didn’t answer her apology, Cate sucked in a breath too big for her small frame, as if gathering courage. “I need—” her eyes found his and held, pleading “—to know you’re in. Not with me—I get that I’m not high on your list of favorites right now. But for Ruby’s sake, I need to know you’re not just going to cut and run when you figure out being a dad is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. I have to know she can count on you.”
Despite all the wrong that had transpired between them, Cate was right to ask. To protect her daughter—their daughter. A smidgen of respect eased back into play. “I don’t do anything halfway, Cate. So in answer to your question, I’m not going anywhere. I’m in Ruby’s life for good.”
Though Luc didn’t know how they were going to tell Ruby. How to explain why he hadn’t known about her without making Cate look bad. Because no matter what tension ebbed between him and Cate, he wouldn’t start out by maligning Ruby’s mother. He would put their daughter’s needs first.
Luc silently fired off prayers for guidance and wisdom.
Cate’s eyebrows plunked together like magnets. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m praying.” The answer snapped out a little snarly—ironic, considering the statement. Again, Luc dug for civility. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. What we’re supposed to do now.” He shrugged, offering an olive branch. “So I thought I’d ask someone who does.”
Disbelief and curiosity warred on her face. “Since when are you a praying man, Lucas Wilder?”
“Since I left...” You. “...Denver. Once I moved back to the ranch, I was...” A mess. “I started going to church with my family and it was like something clicked. I’d never really wanted a relationship with God when I was younger, but something changed. And so did I.” At least he hoped he had. Luc sure hadn’t handled things well with Cate back when they’d been together. He’d done a lot of putting himself first. Had he appreciated Cate back then? Doubtful.
His immaturity during their relationship—including the fact that they’d been pretending to be adults when they were anything but—smarted like a hoof to the shin.
“Ruby and I...we go to church, too. I became a Christian about a year ago.” A begrudging tilt claimed her lips. “It’s the reason you’re standing here right now. Otherwise, I’m not sure I would ever have softened.” She shrugged, one shoulder lifting the messy ponytail that had loosened to cascade down her back.
Seeing Cate so casual tonight—without the armor of her well-put-together clothes and wearing very little makeup—made Luc flash back to their younger days. She’d been beautiful back then, but now there was something about her... Maybe it was peacefulness. He wasn’t sure. But he liked this casual side of her. Cate looked ready to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket and watch a movie. And the traitor side of him thought he should be the one tucked in next to her. She had that effect on him, and he was still furious with her.
What would happen if he actually managed to forgive Cate? Maybe that was part of the reason he didn’t want to—because Luc refused to go anywhere near the possibility for that kind of anguish again.
The kind they’d caused each other.
In all of his aggravation at Cate over the past week, Luc had conveniently forgotten one thing...his fault in what had happened. What he’d been like back then. Even before their last fight, he’d often been quick to tussle with her over the smallest things. They’d been so young, their relationship on fast-forward.
Luc had thought he loved Cate then...but now he wondered if he’d ever truly understood the definition of the word.
Since Cate had reappeared in his life, he’d been so focused on the mistakes she’d made in keeping Ruby from him that he hadn’t even considered his selfish decisions.
“I was a jerk when we were younger, wasn’t I?”
Cate had the grace not to answer him, but Luc knew the truth.
No wonder she hadn’t told him about Ruby. If it had been him in her shoes, he wouldn’t have contacted himself, either.
* * *
Cate had been in too many hard, unforgiving chairs in doctors’ offices like the one currently holding her, but today something was different. Luc occupied the seat next to her.
Ruby climbed all over him, the heat from his lanky frame seeping into Cate’s personal space. Of course, he hadn’t lost his temper once dealing with all of Ruby’s pent-up energy while they waited. But then, he’d only been acting as a parent for six days. He’d fail soon enough, and then she’d feel guilty for entertaining this thought process at all.
Cate had read enough about Ruby’s condition to know that not every office did nurse consultations before the procedure, but she was thankful theirs did. The more information she had, the better.
“Do they normally run behind?” Luc asked.
“Not too bad. If you have somewhere you need to be, you can go.”
His eyes narrowed at her sugar-sweet offer. “Trying to get rid of me?”
Yes. “No.”
The grin commandeering his mouth said he knew exactly what she was thinking and doing. Attraction came unbidden, a surprising shimmy in her gut. Down, girl. Not your candy.
He leaned closer, and her body sent off warning flares. Jump ship advisories blared. “I already told you that I’m here for Ruby no matter what. That I want to be a part of her life. The question is whether you’re going to let me be.”
Since when had Luc turned into this wiser, calmer version of the barely adult man she’d once known?
In the living room the other night, before they’d talked to Ruby, he’d even prayed with her. They’d stood three feet apart and been separated by miles of unresolved issues, but the prayer had held more intimacy than she’d expected.
Luc had asked God to show them what to say and what not to say and to give Ruby an open mind.
The prayer had worked.
When they’d told Ruby that Luc was her dad, she’d asked a few questions that they’d done their best to answer, but for the most part, she’d been more focused on the future than the past. Though Cate imagined those tougher questions would come with time and age, and it would be her job to do the explaining.
Then Ruby had asked if she was going to see Luc again.
Cate had pondered the same question many times as she’d contemplated telling Luc about Ruby.
In answer, Luc had held Ruby’s hand in his oversize one. He’d told her he would always be in her life—that they were a part of each other—and nothing would separate them again. Ruby had listened intently. The next day she’d started referring to him as “my dad” instead of “my friend Luc.”
After Luc had gone back to the ranch that night, Ruby had been unable to sleep from her excitement. She’d told Cate all of the things she wanted to do now that she finally had her own dad. As if she’d gone into a store and picked one out from the shelf.
Camping. Fishing. Where had Ruby come up with those ideas? Probably from a kiddo at day care. Riding a horse again. Cate wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or irritated at Ruby’s immediate acceptance of Luc.
Of course, she should feel the first. But the second was just so within reach. All of a sudden, their lives were flipped upside down—like a bug on its back, legs wiggling to find traction in thin air. Ruby felt okay with that, obviously, but Cate didn’t. She wanted safety back. She wanted to be the only one at this visit instead of one half of a parenting duo.
Cate was definitely having a hard time letting Luc into their lives. And the worst part was, he knew it. He knew her too well. She’d made plenty of changes in the years since they’d dated, but there was still a little girl living inside her who struggled with rejection and trust.
Who couldn’t forget the lessons her parents had taught her.
She’d been ten when her parents divorced. Some couples fought for custody because one parent was unstable or unsafe. Because they believed a certain home was the better place for their children.
But hers had simply fought to fight. It hadn’t been about protecting her, but more that they didn’t want to give in to each other. She’d been collateral damage in their war.
A lost girl who knew intrinsically she wasn’t significant in the grand scheme of their relationship or divorce.
Cate didn’t want that for Ruby. It was part of why she hadn’t told Luc about her. Cate was afraid of losing her daughter. Fearful that Luc would fight for custody and then Cate would be just like her parents—focused on a battle instead of on Ruby.
She wanted Ruby to always feel important. Loved beyond a shadow of a doubt. To never experience the tumultuous pieces of childhood Cate had.
Not that Cate could tell Luc all of that. He would never understand why she’d kept Ruby from him. No answer would be good enough, and she had to be okay with that. Just like she had to figure out how to be more Ruby-like about him being in their lives.
The door to the room opened, and the nurse came in. Diane. They’d had her many times before. She slid a wheeled stool up to Ruby while greeting them, and Cate introduced her to Luc.
“Ruby.” Diane held a teddy bear, one that had obviously been used numerous times as an example. “In two days Dr. Thom is going to fix a small hole in your heart, just like fixing Mr. Bear’s tear right here.” She motioned to the small gap in the brown fur. “You won’t feel it. You’re going to fall asleep like Sleeping Beauty, take a little nap, and when you wake up it will be all better.”
Ruby listened, enraptured by the idea of starring in her own fairy tale. “Okay, Dr. Thom fix it.” She went back to playing with the supplies from her activities bag—a small board she could draw on and then erase.
Over the years and appointments, Cate had told Ruby she had an extra-special heart that held lots of love and needed checkup appointments. She’d accepted that news just as easily as this. Of course, she was too young to truly understand the concept of surgery, but they did need to at least give her an idea of what was to come.
Dr. Thom’s whole staff was exceptional about knowing what to say and how to say it to make little minds understand.
Now, if only they had something to eliminate Cate’s apprehensions.
Cate let Ruby wear headphones and watch a movie on the iPad while Diane outlined the procedure for her and Luc. Diane talked through a few pages of information, including some visuals, then asked if they had any concerns.
“What will her recovery be like?” For some reason Luc’s question surprised Cate, but then, he had the right to be involved. He was here, wasn’t he? She should be thankful that he was committed to Ruby—that her daughter could depend on him—instead of being so panicked by what his presence meant.
Pull yourself together, Cate. Even if you can’t trust him, you can trust God. The mantra that had gotten her to the Wilder ranch in the first place eased a smidgen of uneasiness.
“With cardiac catheterization, the recovery is minimal,” Diane answered. “Nothing like open-heart surgery. Rest is needed while the incision site heals, but many children bounce back at a fast rate.”
“And will there be a lot of follow-up visits?”
Cate’s brow furrowed. What was Luc fishing for? Was he really this interested? Or was something on his mind?
“If things go as planned, we’ll do one about a month after and then we won’t need to see her for another year.”
“So, if she was living forty minutes outside Denver in a quiet place where she could recuperate—no germs being shared at day care—you don’t think that would be a problem? She wouldn’t be too far from medical care?” Luc’s questions came out in a rush, and Cate’s jaw lunged for her toes.
What was Luc doing? What was he thinking? Was he attempting to take Ruby from her?
Had she said those thoughts out loud earlier? Or had Luc plucked them from her mind? Eerie. It was as if she’d allowed the truth to surface for one moment, and Luc had immediately set about making her nightmares come true. Her throat closed off, and she couldn’t speak over the lump of outraged tears she refused to release.
“We’ll know more after the procedure, but I don’t think Dr. Thom would have any issues with that. Our patients come from all over the place. Not everyone lives in town.”
Cate resisted a hiss at her answer. At Luc’s audacity.
And one look at Ruby made it all a thousand times worse. Her headphones were looped around her neck, not on her ears. By the way her face perked with interest, she’d heard everything Luc had just asked. Ruby might not know exactly what Luc was saying, but she knew it involved her.
Who did Luc think he was, throwing out preposterous ideas in front of Ruby like he was...like he was her father and had a say in her life? Ruby couldn’t just be uprooted. She had a schedule. Day care. Friends. Luc might not see those things—or Cate—as important, but she did.
Ruby bounced with excitement. “What is it, Mommy? Are we going somewhere?”
Red flames had to be shooting out of the top of Cate’s head. Her face radiated with heat, now likely the shade of a scarlet crayon.
Cate sought with everything in her to manage a calm tone. “We’ll have to discuss it, sweets.” Gaze bouncing from Ruby, she raised a menacing eyebrow at Luc. “As a family.” Voice wobbling with barely suppressed anger, she focused on breathing as Diane wrapped up the visit and left.
At Cate’s direction, Ruby grabbed her small backpack of supplies from the corner of the room.
Gripping Luc’s arm, Cate lowered her voice. “What are you thinking? That I won’t care if Ruby comes to live with you? She has a life, Lucas. I realize I kept her from you, but trying to take her from me isn’t the answer.”
Stunned silence came from Luc. His mouth hung open, much like Cate’s had only minutes before.
“I got the big hostable door open!” Ruby stood with her back propping open the wide door, pride evident.
They exclaimed what a good job she did, then followed Ruby down the beige hallway, friction wedged between them like a third wheel.
Luc pulled her behind Ruby’s pace. Out of earshot. “I’m not...” His head shook as if he was clearing away cobwebs. “You think I’m trying to take her from you?”
What else was she supposed to think?
“I don’t want to separate the two of you. Even I know that’s out of the question, Cate. What kind of ogre do you think I am?”
Thankfully, he didn’t wait for her to answer.
“I’ve just been thinking that if you and Ruby would be willing to live at the ranch, even for just a few weeks or a month, it would allow me time to get to know her. We have guests six days out of the week during the summer. If you don’t, it will be really hard for me to get away and spend time with her. I’ll make it work, somehow, but...it was just a thought.” His voice lowered. Hardened. “And I am not such an idiot or jerk that I think she’d be coming alone. I do realize that she’s young and the two of you are a package. I wouldn’t do that to her.”
Now it was her turn to fumble for words. Luc caught up with Ruby, leaving Cate a few steps behind. Good. She needed the space to deal with...everything. Luc’s absurd suggestion. Her desire to scream no at his back. Or maybe throw something at those annoyingly broad shoulders filling out a cornflower blue short-sleeved button-down.
He was wrong, right? She didn’t have to truly consider what he was asking for, did she?
Not one part of her wanted to uproot their lives to live at the ranch, even for a short amount of time. But since Luc was acting so...so calm about all of it—even logical, if she wanted to give him credit for that, which she didn’t—Cate probably should try to be, too.
Or at least pretend to be. Right before she told him absolutely not.
Chapter Four (#u02a4c5f0-945a-5a2b-9376-5c00f5dd13be)
The smell of hospital antiseptic assaulted Luc’s nostrils. He hated the scent of anything bleached or overly sterilized. Growing up on a ranch with dirt under his fingernails and dust on his boots, he firmly believed that being covered in or even ingesting a little of God’s good earth wouldn’t harm a person.
Of course, the fact that he was in the hospital waiting for his daughter to get out of surgery could probably explain his current aversion.
Cate had been as quiet as a teapot just under boiling all morning. He kept wondering when she’d blow. Tears. An outburst. Any show of emotion. But so far, not one crack in her shell.
When they’d prepped Ruby for surgery, they’d given her something to make her groggy and almost fall asleep before doing the anesthesia. He and Cate had been allowed to walk her back to the catheterization area, and then the medical staff had taken Ruby from there.
Luc had thought Cate would crumble in that moment. And it had looked like she was about to. Her shoulders had slumped, eyes glazing over with pain and moisture. He’d been ready to catch her. To comfort her. No matter what had happened between them, he wouldn’t hold their history against her at such an agonizing time.
But then Cate had stitched herself together like a desperate woman out on the trail. Bleeding and alone with no other choice.
Even though he’d been standing right next to her.
It had been like watching a storm roll over the mountains, dark and menacing, only to see it morph into white, harmless clouds that floated by without wreaking havoc.
Cate had stridden by him, shoulders back, stubborn chin thrust out. Down the hallway and into the waiting room she’d gone. She’d dropped into a chair and hadn’t moved yet. Not even to use the restroom.
Now she sat next to him with her eyes closed in the unforgiving chairs that boasted cushions but didn’t offer comfort. He knew she wasn’t sleeping. He’d guess she was coping about as well as one of the consistently used children’s books Emma had for Kids’ Club. Battered. Worn. With the pages barely holding together under the still-intact cover.
The ticking of the plain-Jane white clock with black hands in the corner marked the excruciatingly slow passage of time.
“You okay?” He finally ruptured the silence, questioning Cate.
“No, I’m not okay.” Her voice snapped, but then her chestnut eyes flashed open, filled with regret. “I’m sorry.” She toyed with the silver ring sporting a cross on her right hand, concentrating on it instead of him. “I’m just worried.”
It was the first chink in her armor that he’d witnessed. Capable Cate made raising Ruby on her own look easy. Like even single parenthood couldn’t deflate the wind in her cape.
“I am, too.” The dull ache in his gut had been there for days, reminding him of Ruby’s impending procedure.
Cate’s brow pinched. “Then why do you seem so calm?”
Funny. Didn’t she realize how composed she looked and acted? Something about knowing she wasn’t—that she’d confided even that small secret to him—twisted his insides.
“I’m not, really. But I’m choosing to believe she’s going to be okay. That’s what I’ve been praying nonstop for.” He wasn’t going to entertain any other options.
Her lips barely managed a curve. “Me, too.”
Had Cate slept at all last night? Drifting off had taken him much longer than normal. And then he’d been up before the sun to get here on time. Hints of tired were visible despite Cate’s perfectly applied makeup—not too much, not too little. Her clothes—black jeans, flats and a peach sleeveless shirt partially covered by a button-up gray sweater—shouted that she had it all together. Her protective covering was in place, but her weariness was palpable. At least to him.
“I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Cate’s hand pressed against her mouth. Luc wasn’t sure if it was to stifle a sob or because she’d realized what she’d said—and that Luc had, because of her, lived without Ruby for the past three-plus years.
He bit down on the I know what you mean that begged for escape. Today was not the day for fighting. Things might not be fixed between them, but the seriousness of Ruby’s procedure had caused him to mentally call a time-out from his anger.
He was by no means over what Cate had done in keeping Ruby from him, but he was praying that God would help him to be one day. That kind of forgiveness would have to come from above.
But he did have an idea of what might help heal his wounds. And since they were just sitting here, listening to the unbearably slow seconds tick by...
“Cate, I really think you should consider—”
“You’re not going to start bugging me about us moving to the ranch again, are you?”
So much for his stealth move in bringing it up. “It just makes sense. We have guests all week right now and it will be tough for me to see Ruby as much as I want to. It will be easier for me to swing it during the off-season.” Of course, he would make it work to see Ruby no matter what, but if Cate would just consider the option, it would be a huge help. “You could contact her day care. See if they could give you a credit for the month. It would save money. My sisters are there—Mackenzie is—” determined, stubborn “—all about adventure and Emma’s a rock star with kids. You’d have family. Support. It wouldn’t be forever. Just enough time for me to get to know Ruby a little bit better.”
A groan came from Cate.
“Is that a yes?”
This time a huff escaped, sounding sky-high on the annoyed meter. Guess she hadn’t appreciated his attempt at humor.
“It’s a no. The same no I’ve been telling you since we met with the nurse.” Her arms crisscrossed her chest, another shield engaged and ready for battle. “And stop sending me pictures. They’re not going to change my mind.”
He curbed a grin, deciding his amusement definitely wouldn’t be appreciated. Cate had texted him yesterday morning after he’d bugged her plenty about the option of them temporarily moving to the ranch—please stop talking to me about the ranch.
So he’d switched to pictures. He hadn’t said anything, so he hadn’t broken any rules. Until today.
Luc had hoped the visuals might stir something in her. He’d sent her a shot of the cabin they could live in. His—but he’d happily give it up for them. It had two bedrooms, a cozy living room with a fireplace, stackable laundry and a tiny kitchen consisting of a row of kitchen cabinets and small appliances. But since the ranch provided all meals, Cate wouldn’t need much space for cooking. Not that she had anything much bigger now. And the cabin was certainly better than the apartment she and Ruby currently lived in. At least in his mind.
He’d also sent her pictures of the horses—that one may not have helped—and of the wide open spaces he considered one of the most beautiful places on planet Earth. He didn’t think he’d gotten very far since Cate had simply stopped responding to the photos. Stubborn woman.
“If Ruby bugging me hasn’t worked, nothing will. And trust me, she’s talked about it nonstop since you dropped the idea on us. Thank you very much for that.” She shifted in his direction, jutting a finger at his chest. “Parenting 101—don’t say anything in front of a child until it’s already been decided. You can’t just go around spouting ideas like that. She’ll never understand why we’re not doing it, and I’ll be the bad guy. We have a life, Lucas. We can’t just uproot it.”
Lucas. Why his full name coming from her lips caused a spark in his chest, he didn’t want to know.
“But your work is freelance. You can live anywhere.”
Cate’s eyelids shuttered as if weighted down. “Let’s not do this today, okay?”
Regret flared to life. She was right. Not the time.
Luc stretched his jean-clad legs out in front of him but couldn’t get comfortable. He’d worn his Ariat boots today. A green button-down shirt. Something about the hospital—or hostable, as Ruby would say—made him feel like a kid playing grown-up, and he’d at least attempted to look the part.
“Can I get you anything? Something to eat? Drink?” Why did he feel the need to keep talking? It wasn’t like him. If Luc had to guess, he’d imagine he was more apprehensive about Ruby’s procedure than he wanted to admit. Taking care of Cate—scratch that—getting something for Cate would occupy his mind and harness his energy. He’d much rather be doing than sitting.
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