Freefall to Desire
Freefall to Desire
Kayla Perrin
Three years ago Brianne Kenyon suffered the unthinkable: her fiancé disappeared while hiking the Rocky Mountains, never to be seen again.Heartbroken beneath an avalanche of grief, Brianne's not sure what her path holds. But just when she starts to regain her foothold on life, sexy Alex Thorpe returns to town—and her pain reaches its peak. But so does her desire.Alex Thorpe knows why beautiful Brianne doesn't want to have anything to do with him—and he doesn't blame her. After all, he was her former fiancé's best friend and hiking partner.But Alex can't fight the depths of his passion. . . even when earth-shattering news threatens their trail to romance. Alex is determined to show Brianne that he, and their love, was meant to be the high point of her life.
Tearing his lips from hers, he rasped,
“If you don’t want this, stop it now.”
In response, Brianne gyrated her pelvis against him and kissed the underside of his jaw.
Alex groaned in pleasure, and Brianne felt a surge of power. There was something completely thrilling about knowing that she could seduce a man like Alex.
He was tall, dark and handsome—and she was tired of trying to deny that there was something between them.
As she continued to kiss his jawline, creating what she knew was a path of wonderful sensations all the way to his ear, he gripped her behind and squeezed the flesh. When his finger slipped beneath the edge of her panties, a jolt of heat went straight to her center.
Suddenly, she was being eased onto her back, the sheets were being kicked aside and then Alex was on top of her. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire. Her breathing was ragged as he stared down at her. And she saw the obvious lust in his eyes.
But not just lust. There was something else there. Something tender. Surely she wasn’t imagining it.
“Make love to me,” she whispered.
Dear Reader,
After Island Fantasy, many of you asked me to write a story for Shayna’s sister, Brianne. I’m pleased to tell you that I have, and Freefall to Desire is the result.
If you’ve enjoyed reading my stories over the years, you’ll know that I often infuse elements of intrigue into my books. I love the heightened emotions of a romance combined with intrigue. Because when the world around the characters is falling apart and they’re most vulnerable, they’re often more likely to let go and seize love in an unguarded way. It’s spontaneous and raw and thrilling!
I knew before I set out to write Brianne’s story that I wanted there to be an unsolved mystery in the book. One that would force her to work closely with someone from her past and one that would give her a second chance at love. So when Brianne, who has guarded her heart since losing her fiancé, suddenly finds herself in love’s grip—especially when she least expects it—it is sweeter and more intense than anything she has ever experienced. Because this time, it’s real.
Please let me know how you enjoyed Brianne and Alex’s story by emailing me at kayla@kaylaperrin.com or by contacting me on Facebook or Twitter. Up next will be Selena’s story, a friend of Brianne’s you’ll meet briefly in this book. I plan to continue writing stories that feature friends and family of my characters, because I know how much you love them.
Until next time,
Kayla
About the Author
KAYLA PERRIN
has been writing since the age of thirteen and once entertained the idea of becoming a teacher. Instead she has become a USA TODAY and Essence bestselling author of dozens of mainstream and romance novels. She has been recognized for her talent, including twice winning Romance Writers of America’s Top Ten Favorite Books of the Year Award and the Career Achievement Award for multicultural romance from RT Book Reviews. Kayla lives with her daughter in Ontario, Canada. Visit Kayla at www.KaylaPerrin.com.
Freefall TO DESIRE
Kayla Perrin
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
This book is dedicated to Lady Sharon.
Talented fashion designer. Dedicated mother.
Great friend. I admire how you’re going after your dreams, making them a reality. And proving that it’s never too late. God bless you, my friend!
Prologue
Brianne Kenyon held her breath, her eyes locking with Alex Thorpe’s the moment he stepped into the lobby. For two long hours she had been waiting for his return, praying every second of that time for the best possible outcome. But one look at the defeated expression on his face and she knew that the news was not good.
She rose from the sofa where she and her sister, Shayna, had been sitting and waiting by the cozy fireplace—but nothing about their visit to British Columbia was cozy.
“Nothing?” she asked Alex as he reached her. “No sign of him?”
He ran a hand over his head, emitting a groan of frustration. “Brianne, I’m sorry.”
“But how can that be possible?” she asked. “There has to be something. Some sign of him on the mountain.”
“The Rockies are vast, Brianne,” Alex explained. “He could be anywhere.”
Brianne stared at Alex, willing him to say something that would give her hope. Not the spiel she’d heard from the Canadian authorities over the last five days.
“But,” he continued, then stopped.
“But what?” Brianne asked quickly. She felt her sister slip her arm around her waist, offering support. “There is something. What is it?”
“It… it’s not good.”
Brianne’s stomach sank. She felt nauseous. But she had to know. Good or bad. “Tell me.”
“The search team…they found something,” Alex explained slowly. “Carter’s jacket. It was torn…and … bloody.”
“It might not be Carter’s,” Brianne said without hesitation.
“It was. After I described to them what Carter was wearing that day, they were able to identify the jacket as his. And the moment they showed it to me, I confirmed it.” Alex paused. “It’s bad enough to be out there in this weather, but without a jacket?” His statement hung in the air, heavy and ominous.
Brianne’s brain tried to process the news. She couldn’t speak.
“What are you saying?” Shayna asked. “Do the authorities think that Carter—”
“They don’t want to jump to conclusions,” Alex interjected. “But at the very least, they figure Carter’s hurt. The blood could mean that he fell … or that he was attacked by an animal.”
“What kind of animal?” Shayna asked.
Brianne moved away from her sister then, stepping in the direction of the fire. But it did nothing to warm her. She felt cold from the inside out.
“A wolf,” Alex said. “Maybe a cougar.”
A cougar? God help her. Brianne’s knees buckled then, and she faltered. But strong arms wrapped around her waist before she could collapse onto the floor.
Alex held her up. “Brianne, are you okay?”
A wolf. Maybe a cougar… No, she wasn’t okay. “Brianne?”
Brianne broke down and cried. Cried at the reality that her fiancé was lost in the middle of the Rockies, left to fend for himself in horrendous conditions.
In six days he hadn’t turned up. Five days of searching had produced no sign of him—until now.
A wolf. Maybe a cougar…
“Damn, Brianne. I hate this.” Alex cradled her head against his chest. She gripped his arms, holding on to him as she rode through the turbulent emotional wave.
After about two minutes, she shook her head and eased backward. “No. I won’t believe that he’s anything other than okay. Carter is strong. You know how strong he is. He’s got to be fine.”
“Brianne—”
“Don’t tell me I’m wrong,” she snapped. One minute she’d been bawling, the next biting Alex’s head off. She wanted this all to end.
“Brianne, listen to me,” Alex said. “I know exactly how you’re feeling. But it’s worse than we want to think.”
“Everything will be fine when they find Carter,” Brianne said, refusing to give in to despair.
“They’re not going to find him,” Alex said.
“How can you say that?” She felt a spurt of anger. “Why are you giving up already?”
“Because they’re calling off the search,” Alex answered matter-of-factly.
Brianne’s body went rigid. She looked up at Alex in confusion. “How can they call off the search? Carter’s still lost!”
“I wish it wasn’t the case, Brianne. God knows I do. But they’ve searched for five full days, and the snow has continued to fall, covering any possible tracks. It was a fluke they found his jacket. After all this time out there, they think it’s really unlikely—”
“I don’t care what they think,” Brianne interrupted before Alex could say the words she didn’t want to hear. “They found his jacket, so they know he’s hurt. He’s got to be close by. It’s critical that they keep searching so they can find him now!”
“I agree with you,” Alex said.
“Then do something!” Brianne yelled, not meaning to, but unable to stop herself. People in the hotel lobby looked in her direction. She knew they were wondering what was going on, but she didn’t care. She would make as big a scene as necessary if it got her the results she wanted.
Alex raised his hands in a helpless gesture and then let them fall against his thighs. “What can I do?”
Brianne shook her head in disbelief. “He’s your best friend and you’re giving up on him.” She turned around and marched back to the sofa where she’d left her coat. “Fine. If the authorities are giving up the search, then I have to find Carter.”
“Brianne, you can’t go out there.”
Ignoring Alex, she shoved her arms into the ultrawarm parka she’d bought. “Someone has to!”
“Brianne,” Shayna said gently. “If the authorities can’t find Carter…”
“No, don’t say it. Please, Shayna. Don’t say it.”
And then she started for the door.
Alex reached her before she could step outside. “Don’t be foolish, Brianne. Carter wouldn’t want you to get lost, too.”
And as she met Alex’s gaze, saw the pain she was feeling shimmering in his eyes, she knew he was right.
There was nothing she could do.
Her knees giving way again, she reached out and gripped Alex’s forearms. Gripped them for dear life as emotion overwhelmed her.
This time when she cried, she couldn’t stop the tears. Because she had most likely lost the love of her life. The man she was supposed to marry next year.
And her life would never be the same.
Chapter 1
Three years later…
Brianne held the heavy silver picture frame with both hands, staring fondly at the photo of the smiling couple behind the glass.
Three years, she thought. Three years since you’ve been gone.
Brianne wore an ear-to-ear grin in the picture, more giggle than smile. She’d been giddy with happiness as she’d posed with Carter Smith, the man who’d stolen her heart at a point when she hadn’t expected to fall in love. She and Carter were standing against a palm tree, the picturesque stretch of sand and blue water in Hawaii behind them. Even if Brianne and Carter hadn’t been in Maui for a romantic vacation, she would have remembered exactly when the photo had been taken.
It had been taken the day Carter had proposed to her.
The helicopter ride Carter had booked for them turned into the most memorable moment of all when he’d surprised Brianne with an exquisite cushion-cut diamond engagement ring. Soaring over a volcano, Carter had asked Brianne to marry him, and she had enthusiastically said yes. Emotionally, she’d been higher than any cloud, expecting that nothing would happen to destroy the happiness she’d been feeling at the time. Brianne had been in love and looking forward to a wonderful life with the man of her dreams. At the time, she couldn’t imagine anything ever going wrong.
But things had gone wrong. Barely two months after they’d gotten engaged. All at once, everything had changed.
Brianne’s eyes misted as she regarded the photo of her and Carter in happier times. It was still hard to believe what had happened, much less accept it.
And yet, here she was, without Carter. Today was the three-year anniversary since that tragic, cold day in the Rocky Mountains.
Gone. In an instant. Carter Smith had simply vanished.
That was the hardest part to bear, the not knowing if he was alive or dead.
The authorities had been of a different opinion than Brianne. No, they hadn’t found Carter’s body, but they had found remnants of the torn and bloodied jacket he’d been wearing. Given that finding, coupled with the unexpected snowstorm, they’d surmised that Carter had lost his way on the mountain and that the unthinkable had happened. Months later, hikers had stumbled upon Carter’s backpack—which included his passport—approximately ten miles from the spot where they’d found his jacket. That had solidified the opinion that he had died.
Brianne could not deny that the snowstorm had likely led to Carter getting lost. But what she did not accept— could not accept—was that the man who had so enthusiastically loved the outdoors and could cope in almost any circumstance could have become a victim of nature. The authorities believed one of two possibilities: the first was that Carter had died during the snowstorm and his remains had been eaten by animals. The second possibility was even worse to imagine—that Carter had been attacked and killed by hungry wildlife while alive.
Brianne shuddered. She didn’t want to let her mind go there. Thinking that Carter had died was bad enough, but imagining that his body had been eaten… That part was too much to contemplate. And yet, she had nightmares about exactly that.
But despite the nightmares, Brianne had been able to cling to some hope. The hope that since there had been no body, maybe Carter was still alive.
Before Carter’s disappearance, Brianne had seen stories on the news about people who had been missing for years, only to turn up unexpectedly one day suffering from amnesia. After Carter’s disappearance, she had become addicted to such stories. Four months after Carter was gone, she broke down and bawled when she saw a story on the news about a man in Oregon who had survived some mishap in the wilderness and had resurfaced across the country a year later. Brianne believed fervently that this would be the news she would one day get regarding Carter.
Shayna didn’t believe Carter was alive. Nor did anyone else in her family. But how could Brianne allow herself to think that Carter was dead when it was just as possible that he was alive somewhere, not knowing who he was and therefore unable to get back to her?
Perhaps she was naive to hope. But she hadn’t wanted to give up. Now, however, on the three-year anniversary of Carter’s disappearance, she was wondering if she had simply been lying to herself the entire time.
Just because you wished something was true didn’t make it so.
After three years, Brianne needed some sort of closure, and that closure would not come by hanging on to the hope that Carter might return. As hard as it was going to be, she had to say a final goodbye to him.
If Carter had not returned yet, it was likely that he never would. Her sister, Shayna, had tried to encourage her to move on for her own sanity.
Brianne knew that Shayna was right. Moving on was truly the only way she would ever heal. Sometimes in life bad things happened. This was one of those times.
Brianne replaced the framed photo on her dresser and drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm her frayed nerves. Perhaps a trip to the Rockies would help her get closure. She had felt helpless at the time when Carter was lost. The authorities had searched the mountains, as had Alex Thorpe—Carter’s best friend, who had accompanied him on the ill-fated hiking trip. Brianne had gone crazy with worry at a nearby hotel, waiting for word, unable to do anything to aid in the search. All she could do was pray.
There had been a memorial service organized by Carter’s family, held at the Rockies. But Brianne had stubbornly refused to attend and had instead returned home. One year later, in Buffalo, she had attended the memorial service marking the one-year anniversary of Carter’s disappearance. She had done so out of respect for Carter’s family rather than a desire to move on, but she had been angry at almost everyone in attendance—at all the people who had so quickly chosen to believe that their friend and family member was not coming back.
Before, Brianne had doggedly not wanted to give in to the belief that Carter was dead, as if just wishing him alive would influence reality.
Now she had to move on. And maybe the only way to do that was to go to the last place Carter had been seen alive. Have her own private memorial for Carter at the Rockies and bid him a final goodbye.
As she made her way downstairs to the kitchen, the idea felt right. Yes, she would plan a trip to British Columbia. It would be nice to go with Shayna, but her sister had just gotten married, and she and her new husband, Donovan, were still honeymooning in Jamaica. Brianne’s parents were also out of town, having decided to spend an extra week in Jamaica as well.
There was no reason Brianne couldn’t go to British Columbia alone. In fact, maybe that was best. A quiet time for reflection, to make peace with what had happened.
Brianne was a manager at Scented Suds, a store that sold a variety of luxury body soaps and lotions. As a manager, she was entitled to several weeks of vacation per year. But she had just returned from Jamaica two days ago and didn’t like the idea of requesting more time off without much notice. However, it was necessary. Alexis, the store’s assistant manager, would certainly be able to manage the store in her absence. Brianne would have to run the request by Marlene, the district manager. She didn’t doubt that Marlene—who knew firsthand the stress Brianne had gone through when Carter had disappeared—would allow her this additional time off.
Brianne got herself a low-fat granola bar and a bottle of water from the kitchen and then went back up to her room, where she booted up her laptop. The smart thing would be to check for flights and find out when it was most economically feasible to head to Canada. Then she could call Marlene with a definite time frame.
It would have been nice to be there today, the official anniversary. But the thought had come to Brianne too late. The truth was, it was a thought she hadn’t even considered. Perhaps it was seeing her sister and Donovan, so much in love on their wedding day, that was leading her to take that final step toward closure.
Three years had passed. It was time she made peace with the fact that Carter wasn’t coming back.
She was only twenty-seven. Far too young to accept that she would never get married. She couldn’t even imagine falling in love with someone else, but Brianne knew that time healed all wounds. One day, she would fall in love again.
While she couldn’t be at the Rockies today, Brianne had waited three years to get to the point where she finally felt like she could move on. She could wait a week or so more.
And for her, moving on meant more than accepting that Carter wasn’t coming back. It was letting go of the anger she felt toward Carter’s best friend, Alex. Alex had been with Carter that fateful day, and he had come out of the mountain alive. Her rational brain knew that Alex wasn’t responsible for what had happened to Carter, but he had never satisfactorily explained why he had gotten off the mountain and Carter had not.
Brianne had been looking for answers—something she’d made very clear to Alex on the few occasions that they’d spoken. Now, she was beginning to consider just how hard the whole ordeal must have been for Alex. To be the one who survived, while his friend had not. He had probably replayed the day’s events over and over in his head, wondering if there was one thing he could have done differently that would have changed the outcome. Brianne certainly had—and she hadn’t even been on the trip.
She wasn’t the only one who’d lost someone that cold November day. Alex Thorpe had lost a friend and business partner, and the guilt he felt because he hadn’t been able to save Carter had likely eaten at him over the years.
Brianne poised her fingers over the keyboard, ready to type. But then she thought she heard the doorbell.
Had she?
She paused, straining to listen. A few seconds later, she knew she had heard correctly when the doorbell sounded again.
She got up from the small desk in the corner of her room, wondering who might be here. It was early evening, just after six, but dark outside. She didn’t expect solicitors, nor a delivery person. Maybe it was her best friend, Kim, whom she’d spoken to earlier, coming to help get her mind off of the past.
Brianne hurried downstairs and then looked through the peephole as she always did before swinging the door open. But what she saw there made her reel backward.
Rather, who she saw there.
She was flabbergasted.
It may have been dark, but she knew her eyes were not deceiving her. Even if never in a million years did she expect to see him.
Indeed, two full years had passed since she’d laid eyes on him.
And yet, it made perfect sense that he was here. He, like she, had been forever affected by what had happened on this day three years ago.
The doorbell sounded again. Slowly, Brianne unlocked and opened the door. And there stood Alex Thorpe, on her small front porch, with a serious expression on his face.
And though Brianne had told herself only moments ago that she should hold no anger toward him, it flared again. As irrational as it was, Alex was a physical outlet for her pain and frustration. A person she could blame for something that had been out of everyone’s control.
“Brianne.” Alex spoke her name, as serious as the expression on his face.
Brianne said nothing. She didn’t know what to say. The last time she and Alex had spoken, two years ago exactly, he’d gotten her so angry she’d stormed off.
“It’s been a year, Brianne. There’s been no sign of him. No action in any of his bank accounts. And he was never documented crossing the border back into the States. Do you really expect Carter to walk back into your life? What are you hanging on to?”
And Brianne realized, in that instant, why she’d been so angry with Alex over the past couple of years. At first, she had thought it was because Alex had been Carter’s partner in crime—the guy Carter always went off with on his thrill-seeking adventures. From sky-diving to extreme skiing to base jumping off of buildings…to hiking mountains in bad weather. It had been easy to think that if Alex had refused to go with Carter, Carter might not have gotten lost on that mountain.
But it was more than that, and Brianne now knew why. Alex had been Carter’s best friend, and yet he had so easily given up on him. Like the others who wanted to declare him dead and move on, Alex had done the very same thing.
But as a best friend, she had expected him to want to do all in his power to find Carter. To travel to the ends of the earth, if that was necessary. To leave no stone unturned, as the saying went. Instead, on the one-year anniversary of Carter’s disappearance, Alex had told her that she was foolishly hanging on to hope.
“I’m holding on to our love!” Brianne had shouted at him outside the church, not meaning to yell. “And what exactly happened on the mountain? How did you and Carter get separated? How is it that you came off of the mountain alive, but he didn’t?”
Alex hadn’t answered the question, just advised her that it was time for her to accept reality. That was when Brianne had stormed off, away from Alex Thorpe, not caring if she never saw him again.
And yet here he was, on her doorstep two years later.
“You shouldn’t be here,” she said to him now. She might have resolved to let go of her anger toward him, but him being here was stirring up the uncertainty and helplessness she’d felt surrounding Carter’s disappearance. If they spoke again, it had to be when she was ready. When she could talk to him without the weight of Carter’s disappearance between them.
“I know you don’t want to see me,” Alex said, his voice low. “And trust me, I wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t important. But what I have to say…it needed to be in person.” He paused for a moment, huddling into his leather jacket as a cold breeze swirled. “Can we talk inside?”
Brianne looked beyond him to the late-model, high-end Mercedes parked at her sidewalk. It was black and sparkled beneath the streetlights. She knew it was his—which meant he’d driven here.
“I thought you were in Phoenix,” Brianne said. Word was, Alex had moved there to open up another store in the sporting goods chain he and Carter had started. Life and business had gone on for him—something else that irked Brianne, even if it was irrational to expect anything else.
“I was, but I’m back. Look, it’s pretty cold outside. Can I come in?”
Brianne wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him that it hurt too much to see him, especially today. That he should leave and come back later—or better yet, not at all.
But the fact that he was here spoke volumes. And even though his presence reminded her of what had happened three years ago, it also reminded her of something else. That they’d once been friends.
Maybe Alex was here to make amends with another person who had loved Carter dearly. Wasn’t it time they started talking again? Rationally, she knew that Carter wouldn’t have wanted them upset with each other, as they were that day two years ago.
That thought filling her mind, Brianne stepped backward and held the door open. “All right,” she said softly, her tone guarded. “You can come in.”
Alex bent his head slightly as he entered the house. He was tall—six foot four, a little taller than the height of the doorframe of the prewar house. His body was in the same muscular form Brianne remembered from the past. No surprise there. In addition to their thrill-seeking, both Alex and Carter had been active in a variety of sports—cycling, kickboxing, basketball. They’d liked to spend hours on the weekends playing a variety of sports, keeping their bodies perfectly toned. Their love of sport had led them to open their first sporting goods store in downtown Buffalo, and then a second in Amherst and a third in Niagara Falls. Two men, best friends since childhood, had worked hard to achieve the American dream and had succeeded.
But that dream had been marred with the death of one half of the business.
Brianne looked at Alex then—really stared at him. And noted that his attractive face was marred with a scowl. Again, it struck her that he had probably been carrying around an enormous amount of guilt. She wondered if he had smiled in the last three years.
“We can chat in here,” Brianne said, gesturing to the sitting room near the front door. She led the way into the room, turning on the lights as she did, then took a seat on one of the sofas. Alex folded his tall frame into the lounge chair opposite her.
Just looking at him, Brianne felt regret. How had they lost not only Carter but their friendship? In fact, when Brianne had walked into their sporting goods store, she had noticed Alex first. Noticed his extreme good looks and warm smile. Then out of nowhere, Carter had appeared and offered to help her. She’d been shopping for a bike, and Carter had helped her try a number of them in order to find the one best suited to her. It had been clear to her that Carter was spending more time with her than necessary. He had been flirting, and Brianne—unused to that kind of attention—had been flattered. The rest, as they say, was history. She’d fallen for Carter, but she’d also become friends with Alex. Now she regretted that the death of Carter had also led to the death of their bond.
“I’m glad you came to see me,” she said before he could speak. “I guess it’s about time we…talk again.” Her emotions were all over the place—from anger to regret and now to empathy—but she supposed that was to be expected. Empathy was now morphing into a dull ache of pain. Pain over Carter’s loss, but also pain over the fact that she’d lost Alex’s friendship.
Alex nodded. His expression was still grim, making Brianne wonder if the pain for him was as intense as when Carter had disappeared into that storm.
“I never should have said those things I said to you,” she continued. “I know it wasn’t your fault. It was the grief talking.”
“We both lost someone we cared about, but we shouldn’t have lost our friendship,” Brianne went on when Alex said nothing. “Thank you for being the one with the courage to make the first move.”
When Alex still didn’t speak, it struck Brianne that for a man who’d shown up on her door claiming that they needed to talk, he was being strangely silent.
Instead he sighed, the heavy sound filling the quiet room.
And that’s when she understood that something was seriously wrong. That Alex hadn’t shown up to talk about mending their friendship.
“Oh, dear God in heaven.” Brianne leaned forward, clutching her stomach as it roiled. Though she’d known the news would come one day, she suddenly wasn’t prepared for it. Carter’s remains must have been found. After all this time, his bones had been discovered and tested for DNA and—
“Brianne.” Alex paused. Sighed. Then he forged ahead. “There’s no real way to say this—”
“They found him,” she said, the finality of the words too hard to wrap her mind around. Three years of not knowing, and now—
“He’s not dead.”
Brianne looked up at Alex, the tears that had formed in her eyes blurring his image. Certainly she hadn’t heard him correctly. “Wh—what did you say?”
“All this time, you didn’t believe it. You didn’t believe he was dead.”
Another pause. Brianne continued to stare at Alex, not understanding.
And then he said the words she never thought he would ever utter. “Brianne, I think you were right all along. I think Carter’s alive.”
Chapter 2
If Alex had just up and slapped her, Brianne would have been less surprised.
She gaped at Alex, certain she had not heard him correctly. “What did you say?”
“Unbelievable, right? But I think it’s possible Carter didn’t die three years ago.”
“You think…you think Carter is…” Brianne couldn’t even say it. So long she had wanted to believe it. But she didn’t want to get her hopes up, only to be wrong.
“I know,” Alex said. “After all this time, it sounds crazy. Impossible. But I think…I really think Carter’s alive.”
Seconds of silence passed. Alex stared at her, and she stared back at him in utter bewilderment. “But…but why have you changed your mind?” she finally asked. “I don’t understand. You were certain he was dead. That’s what you told me two years ago.” Brianne was confused and felt like she was in a turbulent sea, being rocked around by waves with nothing to cling to for support.
Alex didn’t speak, and Brianne got the sense that even he wasn’t sure of the answer. But there had to be a reason for the about-face.
“You can’t just come here and tell me that you think Carter is alive.” Only for this to be some misplaced speculation. “Not after three years.”
“I saw something on television,” Alex began slowly.
“Something on television?” Brianne repeated, already doubting that what he was about to say could change her mind about what she had come to accept. “What, a documentary about people going missing the way Carter did? I saw those, too, and at the end of the day—”
“Hear me out,” Alex said. “You’ll understand.”
“Okay.” Obviously the fact that Alex was here meant he thought he had good reason to believe Carter was alive.
“You know Carter and I were into extreme sports.”
Did she ever. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t been able to forgive Alex, figuring that had he not been Carter’s partner in crime, her fiancé might still be alive. “What did you see?”
“A few weeks ago, there was an event called the Fall Cycle Scene—four days of intense motorcycle racing at the Daytona Speedway. It’s exactly the kind of thing Carter would have enjoyed. I was watching on a Sunday afternoon, and I thought…” He glanced away momentarily before meeting her gaze once more. “I’m pretty sure I saw Carter in the crowd.”
Even though she hadn’t wanted to, Brianne had begun to hope. But Alex’s explanation deflated that hope. “A face in the crowd?”
“Not just in the crowd. It was more than a quick clip of some face in the distance. The guy I’m sure was Carter was with one of the racers, a guy named Dean Knight, who is based out of Daytona. When Dean won his race, the cameras were all over him. And that’s when I saw Carter, congratulating Dean on the track. High-fiving him, patting him on the back. The whole nine yards. In fact, it looked to me like Carter was a part of Dean’s team.”
“Which would be easy enough to check out,” Brianne said. “A call to this Dean Knight—”
“That’s the problem. I got in touch with Dean’s people, left a message for him and he called me back. He said he doesn’t know a Carter Smith.”
Brianne frowned. “So you’re wrong.” Why had he bothered to get her hopes up?
“Yeah, I accepted that. For about a week. But I kept thinking about the image I saw. The smile on the guy’s face, the way he moved. Carter and I were best friends for fifteen years. I’d know him anywhere. His hair was different, but I’m ninety percent positive that that was him.”
Carter. Alive. The words Brianne had wanted to hear for so long. But this wasn’t proof. This was…it was hope on Alex’s part. A best friend trying—as she had—to cling to a thread of possibility.
“Alex, this all sounds crazy. It—it can’t be true. A face in the crowd, someone who looked liked Carter…” She shrugged helplessly.
“It’s more than that,” Alex said. “Yes, it sounds crazy, but my gut says it was him.” He paused, stared at Brianne for a long moment. “And I was thinking—hoping—that maybe we can work together to find him.”
Alex saw the way the expression on Brianne’s face changed from stunned to hopeful. It was subtle. She was still confused and overwhelmed—that was also evident in her expression—but there was definitely a glint of hope in her eyes.
And for that he felt a little bad.
Make that a whole lot of bad.
He didn’t want to get her hopes up only to shatter them, but he knew no other way to handle this delicate situation. He had contemplated coming here and telling her everything he suspected, but each time he considered it, he knew he couldn’t. Brianne would probably come to the same conclusion he had and react angrily—which would be understandable—but then she would have wanted nothing more to do with Carter. Having lived without him for three years, she would no doubt close the book on him and move on.
She certainly wouldn’t want to help look for him.
No, Alex certainly couldn’t tell her the truth—at least not the whole truth—and expect her cooperation.
And right now, to get the answers he needed—no, the answers he deserved—he needed her cooperation.
There were times when the ends justified the means, especially when the ends were noble. This was one of those times. Because Carter Smith had stolen something from Alex, something that meant the world to him. Plain and simple, he needed it back.
Alex would be there for Brianne in the aftermath of what would undoubtedly happen, would deal with her wrath and help her through the resulting pain. Because there was no other way to handle this. And it was imperative that Alex keep his eye on the end goal.
If there were another way to do this, he would.
Once Alex had spotted Carter on television, he figured tracking him down would be easy. He had contacted Dean Knight and expected that it would be as simple as that—that Dean would say, yeah, he knew Carter Smith, and then Alex would head to Florida to confront his former friend. Instead, Dean had claimed not to know Carter, leaving Alex at square one.
There were two explanations for that. Either Dean was lying, or Carter had lied to Dean about his identity.
Alex figured it was the latter. Because if Carter was alive, then it meant he had faked his death to begin with. Alex would bet his life on that.
“How, exactly, do you think we can find him?” Brianne asked, pulling him from his thoughts.
“By going to Daytona, for one thing. That’s where Dean Knight lives. It’s where I saw Carter on television. It could be where he’s living right now.”
“Maybe. Or maybe not.”
“It’s the only place I can think of to start the search,” Alex said. “We can show Dean his picture, see if he remembers him. Then go from there.”
“And you want me along for this?” Brianne asked.
“I figured…I figured you’d want to be there.”
Brianne nodded. Of course he would expect that. She had hoped for nothing but a reunion with Carter for the past three years. And yet…
The idea that Carter was alive was oddly scary. What kind of state was he in mentally? And how would he and Brianne pick up where they’d left off?
“Are you sure, Alex?”
“That I want you to come with me? Yeah.”
“No. Are you sure that Carter is alive?”
“One hundred per cent?” Alex shrugged. “I can’t say I’m totally certain. All I know is that the guy looked a heck of a lot like Carter. If we all knew Carter to be alive and well, I wouldn’t doubt it was him on TV. Absolutely not. But because he’s been gone for three years, I can’t be totally sure. But my gut…I’ve got to go with it.”
“So what I thought all along is possibly true,” Brianne said, her voice filling with hope. “He got lost on that mountain. Disoriented. Maybe he fell and hit his head and that caused him to lose his memory. Or he experienced some other trauma.”
Brianne slowly rose as she spoke, and the look on her face…it was like a stab in Alex’s heart. Because he knew that what she was imagining—a happy reunion, the continuation of the future she thought had come to an end—wasn’t going to happen.
But until he found Carter, Brianne would have to be in the dark. It was the only way.
“That’s a possibility,” Carter said, noncommittally. Truthfully, he couldn’t rule it out. But in his heart, he didn’t believe it. Seeing Carter’s face that day, that happy, carefree smile—and seeing him at an event both he and Carter had always enjoyed—well, Alex didn’t believe for a second that Carter didn’t know who he was. And if he hadn’t at first but now did, why not return home? But that was not something he was going to share with Brianne. At least not yet.
“It wouldn’t explain how he got across the Canadian border,” Brianne said, talking to herself mostly, “but maybe he hiked the Rockies back into America. Anything’s possible.”
“You’ve got that right,” Alex agreed, a tinge of bitterness in his voice.
But Brianne missed the tone. Facing him, she clasped her hands tightly together. “Alex, I’m shaking.”
Alex swallowed, trying not to show any particular emotion. He wanted nothing more than to get up, pull Brianne into his arms and hold her tight.
His eyes roamed over her, from her trembling hands to her trim physique to her widened eyes. Lord, she was a vision. She was thinner. That had changed. She’d obviously spent a good amount of time working out since he’d last seen her. What hadn’t changed was that she was still as cute as a button.
It was what he’d thought the first moment he’d seen her. She had walked into the store wearing black pants and a tank top that hugged her beautiful curves. Alex had stepped in her direction, instantly intrigued. But then Carter had made a beeline for her, and that had been that. Alex had lost his chance to pursue anything with Brianne.
“Alex?”
“Hmm?” He looked up at her. He hadn’t heard a word she’d said.
“I asked if you really want to do this. Head to Florida?”
He cleared his throat before speaking. “I think it warrants investigation, yes.”
Brianne nodded, then bit down on her bottom lip. She looked vulnerable as she stared at some point ahead of her, probably not really seeing anything, just lost in her thoughts.
She suddenly shifted her gaze to his, as though she had caught him staring. Alex moved his eyes.
“What if you’re wrong?” she asked softly.
Alex looked at her and shrugged. “Don’t you want to know? One way or another? ”
“To tell the truth…I’m not sure. I…I don’t know if I could handle getting my hopes up, only to learn that you saw someone who looked like him.”
“I know what you mean,” Alex said. “But the way things are now, we don’t know—”
“And what if he’s got this whole other life—which he’d have to, right? A life that doesn’t include me?”
“You mean assuming he has amnesia?”
“Yes.” She looked scared suddenly, and something inside Alex’s gut stirred. “If he’s been missing all this time, he must have suffered some type of memory loss. What if he’s got a family?” She swallowed. “I don’t want…I’m not sure I could handle that.”
“Even if he’s got a new family, he’s still got his family back here. Parents who grieved for his loss. Friends. You.” He paused, looked at her pointedly. “He deserves to know about the people he’s left behind.”
Brianne began to pace. “Maybe you’re right. But if it does turn out to be Carter, his parents will always be his parents. I’m just a woman he used to love. He’s probably forgotten all about me.”
Alex stood and walked toward Brianne, stopping only when he was directly in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re more that that,” he said, then took a breath, hoping she didn’t pick up on the double meaning behind his words. All this time he hadn’t seen her, and yet he was still attracted to her.
His best friend’s girl.
Former best friend’s girl.
“Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to give up hope?” he asked. “The one who thought for sure that I was wrong, that Carter was out there alive somewhere?” She nodded, but Alex saw pain in her eyes. “Wouldn’t you feel better knowing he was alive, even if he’s got a new life?”
“I don’t know,” Brianne said softly. “Maybe.”
“Then we work together. We hit the streets in Florida. We find out if Carter is still alive. Once we know for sure, we can decide what to do next.”
Brianne stepped away from Alex and hugged her torso. “You can do it without me.”
“Maybe. But we both knew Carter, and I think it’ll be easier—”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can.”
She shook her head.
Alex didn’t want to pressure her, but she couldn’t say no. He needed her. “I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”
“This is all too much to process right now. I need time. Will you give me that?”
“Of course,” he said. “Absolutely. I’ll give you my number and you call me whenever.”
“I’m not making any promises.”
“That’s fine.” Alex wasn’t about to pressure her, even if he needed her. Brianne would want to know. He felt that in his heart. She would think things over and then call him and tell him she wanted to help him find Carter.
At least he hoped so.
Because she had the key to finding Carter.
“I’ve got a business card in the car. I’ll go get it.”
Brianne nodded.
Alex went to the front door and jogged down the steps. There was a chill in the November air, reminiscent of the day he and Carter had gone into the mountain three years ago. Three years that had changed his life.
Because Carter hadn’t just destroyed him emotionally when he’d disappeared on that mountain. If Alex was right, he had taken the one thing from him more precious than any money.
While he and Carter had been in hiking the Canadian Rockies, someone had ransacked Alex’s home, emptying the safe of not only its cash but of a family heirloom that meant the world to him.
On her deathbed, Alex’s mother had given him a ring that had once belonged to her mother. His mother had told him that since she hadn’t had any daughters, she was passing the antique diamond engagement ring to him. That he should give it to the woman he would ultimately marry.
The memory burned him as he retrieved a business card from his car. At the time, he’d considered it a cruel twist of fate that his home had been robbed at the same time that his friend went missing. Now, he didn’t think it a coincidence at all.
His gut told him it was all a part of Carter’s plan.
Alex went back to Brianne’s front door. She swung the door open before he could.
To his surprise, he saw tears in her eyes.
“Brianne,” he said with alarm. “Are you okay?”
She wiped at her eyes and forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just overwhelmed, is all.”
Guilt slammed into him. Maybe it was unfair to involve her in his plan. She had gone through so much as it was…
“I’ll be fine,” she told him. “You have your card?”
“Yeah,” he replied and passed it to her. “The office number is on there, and my cell. You can reach me anytime.”
Nodding, she accepted the card. “Okay. I’ll call you.”
“I’ll talk to you later, then,” Alex said.
“Mmm hmm.”
Again, he was struck by her loveliness, and her vulnerability. His heart quickened.
Ignoring the feeling, he turned away from her and trotted down the steps.
He hoped it wasn’t a mistake to involve her in this. And yet, he didn’t know of another way.
He had to do what he had to do to get back what was taken from him.
Alex could live without the money that had been stolen from his place. Insurance had replaced it, anyway. But the ring that had meant so much to his mother. That was irreplaceable.
Alex wanted it back. And he intended to get it.
Chapter 3
Brianne went to the living room’s front window and peered outside. Alex’s car was still there, as if he were waiting for something. But moments later, she heard the engine turn over and his sleek and expensive Mercedes drove away from the curb. Only when his car was out of view did she ease back and let her body fall onto the plush sofa.
Carter. Alive. Could it be possible?
Brianne pulled her knees onto the sofa, holding them close to her chest. Her head was spinning. She felt more ambiguous than hopeful, more confused as opposed to certain about what she should do.
Why now? she thought. Why at a point when she had just resolved to let go of any hope that Carter was alive had Alex shown up at her door?
Was this a sign from God? A sign that she should not be giving up on Carter?
Brianne sat for several minutes, holding Alex’s card in her palm. What had happened was so bizarre that she almost couldn’t be sure if she were dreaming.
But she was awake, no doubt about it, which meant that what had just happened had actually happened.
She glanced down at the card in her hand. The name ALEX THORPE was written in big, bold letters. She didn’t know what was more unsettling, Alex’s sudden appearance at her door or what he’d told her.
Carter. Alive. How long she had waited to hear those words… Why wasn’t she jumping for joy?
Brianne got up from the sofa and went to her bedroom. Her best friend, Salina, was in New York pursuing her career as a chef and her new man. Brianne called her cell but got no answer. Again. The last she had heard from Salina was two weeks ago, and she’d said that she was working long hours, was stressed but that otherwise all was good.
“Hey, girl,” Brianne said when the voice mail picked up. “Something major just happened. Call me. I need to talk to someone.”
Unable to reach Salina, Brianne went to the closet, retrieved her suitcase and found the travel documents she’d had for her sister’s wedding at the Gran Bahia Principe hotel in Jamaica. She didn’t like the idea of disturbing Shayna while she was on her honeymoon, but this was an emergency.
She called the hotel in Jamaica. Within minutes, she was connected to her sister’s room.
After the third ring, Brianne thought no one was going to answer. Not that she expected them to. Either Shayna and Donovan were out enjoying an evening show at the resort, or they were doing what honeymooners did best. But just before the fourth ring, someone picked up the receiver.
Brianne heard some shuffling, and then, “Hello?”
“Shayna!” Brianne exclaimed, happy to hear her sister’s voice. She didn’t realize until that exact moment how much she needed her sister right now.
“Brianne?”
“I’m sorry to call you on your honeymoon. I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t very, very important.” Brianne heard Donovan ask something along the lines of if she was okay. “Yes, tell Donovan I’m okay. Well, actually I’m not too sure that I am.”
“What’s going on, Bree?” Shayna asked, her voice laced with concern. “Oh, of course. How could I have forgotten? It’s today. The three-year anniversary.”
“Oh, Shay.” A little sob escaped Brianne. “I just talked to Alex, and he said something. Something that’s hard to believe.”
“Alex? As in Carter’s best friend?”
“Yes.”
“I thought he’d left Buffalo.”
“So did I. But apparently he’s back.”
“He just called out of the blue?”
“He came to the house.”
“Oh, God.” Shayna’s voice was barely a whisper, and Brianne knew her sister was coming to the same conclusion she had. “They found Carter’s remains.”
“That’s what I thought, too, when I saw him. But Shay, he said something that has me reeling. He thinks…” Brianne paused, inhaled deeply. “He thinks that Carter’s alive.”
“What? How?”
Brianne took the next few minutes to fill her sister in, tell her everything Alex had said. “He wants me to go to Florida to help find Carter. But I don’t think I can. I mean, what if it was just a look-alike Alex saw? It’s been so hard for me already, trying to deal with the unrealistic likelihood that Carter might come back one day. In so many ways, it might have been easier if I’d just accepted that he had died. So what if we get to Florida and find this person and it’s not Carter after all? I don’t know if I can deal with that.”
“I don’t even know what to say, sis. I’m totally in shock.”
Again, Brianne heard Donovan speaking, and then she heard Shayna’s muffled voice as she filled her husband in on what was happening.
“A part of me is too scared to hope,” Brianne said. “But what if Carter is alive and he needs me? Or what if he’s alive and he’s got this whole new life that I won’t fit into?”
“I’d want to know,” Shayna said. “If you go and learn that it was simply a Carter look-alike, that’ll probably help you with closure. You can probably put to bed the idea of Carter ever coming back. But if you go and discover that against all odds Carter is alive… Yes, it would be hard to find out that he was involved with someone else, but will it be any easier wondering?”
Shayna had a good point. “Not really. No. It’s the wondering that has been so hard these past years.”
“Then again, Alex could deal with this on his own and report back to you what he finds. Especially if he learns that Carter has a wife and kids.”
A wife and kids. The words made a lump form in Brianne’s throat. She always thought that she would be Carter’s wife and the mother of his children.
“I’m sorry,” Shayna said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, don’t apologize. Nothing about this situation is sweet and rosy. I have to accept that.”
A beat passed, then Shayna asked, “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I called you. To get your input.”
“Truthfully, I think that Alex probably saw a guy who looked a lot like Carter, but I doubt it was him. If Carter were alive, then he would have needed medical attention at some point. The authorities would certainly have been called. Then there’s the issue of him coming back to America without his identification. Brianne, I can’t see this person truly being him.”
“But there was no body.” Brianne spoke the words more to herself, thinking about the amount of times she had refused to believe Carter dead simply because his jacket and backpack had been found.
“I know,” Shayna agreed. “But you know what the authorities think. And there was enough blood on the jacket that they believed there had to have been some sort of attack.”
“Yes, yes, I know.” Brianne sighed. “Sorry, Shay. I’m not trying to be testy. It’s just…I still can’t think about what might have happened to Carter. It’s too hard.”
“Brianne, you have to decide what’s best for you to do. If you think going to Florida will help, then go. But if it’s going to be more painful than anything, then I think you shouldn’t do it.”
“I thought you said you’d want to know.”
“I did, yes. But when I really think about it, the likelihood of it—and how your emotions will get dragged through the ringer again—I don’t think it’s worth it. That said, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”
“I know you will,” Brianne said softly. “Thanks for listening. I’m sorry I disturbed you.”
“Are you kidding? I’m glad you called. I’m just sorry that you’re there by yourself dealing with this.”
“Tell Donovan hi. I’m gonna let you go.”
“All right. But, Bree, if you need to talk again, don’t hesitate to call back.”
Brianne heard the note of concern in Shayna’s voice and loved her sister for it. If not for Shayna, Brianne might not have come out of the dark days of depression after Carter’s disappearance.
“Go back to whatever it is you two lovebirds were doing,” Brianne said, injecting humor into her voice. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Take care, sis. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Brianne said.
Brianne ended the call and sat in the dark room, her thoughts once again going back to Carter. More specifically, to the day she had learned from Alex that Carter hadn’t come off of the mountain.
Never in her life had she gone through a more emotionally wrenching time. For a twenty-four-year-old, deeply in love and losing the man she adored—it had been too much to bear.
Of course, she’d been devastated. But she’d been most upset with the searchers and the authorities and everyone who had been willing to write Carter off as dead. Determined to prove them all wrong, she had booked a ticket to head to British Columbia and search the mountain herself if necessary. Her sister had gone with her for support. But while in Canada, Brianne had realized how utterly helpless she was to effect any change. The amount of snow was unbelievable, and she—a woman who couldn’t stand a day of camping in decent weather—was never going to be able to find Carter when the search team couldn’t.
Once the search had been called off and she’d returned home, Brianne had gone into a depression. She had stayed in bed, not eating, not drinking. But her family had been there for her, bringing her plates of food and hot tea. Brianne refused it all until she could no longer starve herself. Then she’d fed her turbulent emotions with food. Within six months, she’d put on the thirty pounds she had spent the year and a half with Carter working off.
She knew how she got when it came to her emotions—unable to truly control them and helpless to assuage herself. It was the reason that going to Florida was such a daunting idea for her. If her hopes were once again deflated…
“Sleep on it,” Brianne said softly to herself. “And pray on it. When you wake up, you’ll know what to do.”
She settled in her bed with the rough draft of the novel her sister had just finished. Brianne always read Shayna’s books to give her input before she submitted them to her editor. But despite her sister’s compelling writing, Brianne simply couldn’t lose herself in the fictional historical world.
I think you were right all along. I think Carter’s alive.
Instead of concentrating on the words her sister had written, Brianne kept hearing Alex’s words. Kept seeing the serious look on his face. And something suddenly struck her about the visit, something that she hadn’t picked up on before.
Alex had relayed the news about Carter likely being alive, but he hadn’t seemed happy. He hadn’t seemed excited about the idea of reconnecting with his best friend.
The realization made her feel better. Because she herself wasn’t jumping up and down for joy—something she’d always expected she would do if she’d ever learned that Carter was alive.
Maybe it was all just too surreal to truly accept, given that three years had passed. And they really didn’t know for sure. What point was there in getting all excited, only to learn that this was all a mistake?
Of course both she and Alex were guarded. It only made sense that they keep an emotional guard up until they learned the truth.
“Lord, help me deal with this,” Brianne whispered. “If Carter’s alive, help me truly deal with all of what’s to come.”
You could want something so badly, yet when it happened you were unprepared for it.
Brianne lowered the manuscript pages. That was also it, she realized. Not just the uncertainty of not knowing if Alex was right about having seen Carter, but the reality that she was unprepared for the unexpected news Alex had delivered—no matter how much she had wished for it. In the early months or even after the first year, had Alex told her that he suspected Carter was alive, she would have been elated. Now, with the amount of time that had passed, there was so much to consider in the event that Carter had somehow escaped death. Because she was not foolish enough to believe that she was just going to pick up the pieces with him and everything would easily go back to the way it was.
She looked at her bedside phone, then at the card Alex had given her that rested on the table beside the phone. She wanted to call Alex now, to confide in him her fears. To talk candidly about the ambiguity she was feeling. She sensed that Alex would tell her that he had his own reservations about how all of this would play out.
Of course, it was different for him. He had been Carter’s friend. That was different than being a lover. He could easily pick up and continue as Carter’s friend in a way she wasn’t sure she would be able to easily continue on as the special woman in his life.
She picked up the card, stared at the phone number. And then she lifted the receiver.
But just as quickly she returned the receiver to its cradle. What was she going to say to him? Ask him all the same questions she had asked him earlier?
There was a part of her that simply wanted to hear his voice, to know that today hadn’t been a dream. But it was after nine. She didn’t want to disturb Alex.
After all, what if he weren’t alone?
An odd twinge came with the thought. In all the time she’d known him, she hadn’t known him to have a serious girlfriend. Carter had said that Alex was the consummate playboy. Gorgeous. Rich. He could have his pick of women, and, from what Carter had said, tended to like models.
Brianne was the exact opposite of his type. She was five-foot-five and voluptuous, with curves she had to work to keep in a nice proportion. Not tall and thin.
Not that it mattered. Why was she even thinking about that?
What mattered now was not getting Alex’s hopes up until she made a decision. When she called him, it would be to tell him whether or not she had decided to accompany him to Florida.
If you think going to Florida will help, then go. But if it’s going to be more painful than anything, then I think you shouldn’t do it.
Remembering Shayna’s words gave Brianne a sense of comfort. Her sister was right. She didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to do—especially if it was painful.
And Brianne didn’t know if she could handle seeing Carter if he didn’t remember her.
Worse, she didn’t know if she could handle seeing him if he were involved with someone else.
The next morning, Brianne’s ambiguity over what to do made her angry with herself. She had been sitting at her desk, researching possible causes for temporary amnesia via the internet, and now pushed her chair back and stood. Why was she afraid to deal with a challenging situation? She had been ready to walk down the aisle with Carter, and in her vows she would have promised to be there for her husband in good times and bad. Sure, they hadn’t actually gotten married—because fate had intervened. What would she have done if she’d been married to Carter and then he’d disappeared? Bailed on him when he needed help?
Brianne made her way downstairs. She needed coffee. If Carter is alive, how can I not go to him? she asked herself as she descended the steps. No matter how hard it might be, how can I not help him get back to his former self?
Brianne set the Irish cream-flavored coffee to brew, then went back to her bedroom. There she reached for a stuffed teddy bear on her dresser, one she’d had from childhood. She held the bear close to her chest, drawing comfort from her childhood toy. Carter had always teased her for still having a teddy bear she turned to for comfort, but old habits die hard.
Her heart rate accelerated. Was it possible that Carter truly was alive?
The thought was overwhelming. And she needed to talk to someone about it. There was one only one person who understood what she was going through because he himself had experienced it—and that was Alex.
Brianne moved to her night table and lifted the card he’d given her. Then she plopped down on her bed and lifted the receiver.
She dialed the cell number, which rang four times before going to voice mail. Only then did she consider that at only ten minutes after eight, Alex might still be in bed.
Brianne hung up, not wanting to leave a message.
She was surprised when, not more than ten minutes later, the phone rang in the kitchen—and the caller ID showed Alex’s number.
Chapter 4
“Hello?” Brianne said.
“You called me?” came the deep reply.
She’d already known it was Alex calling her, and yet her stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice. Obviously she was anxious over everything.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“I’ve been up since six-thirty. I went to the gym, then came home and was in the shower when you called.”
Wow. Talk about dedication. Not that she was surprised. His body was still amazing.
“Oh. Well, that’s good then.”
“Have you made a decision?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I wanted to talk more than anything else.”
“What’s on your mind?”
She hesitated. “Do you feel…”
“Feel what?”
Brianne suddenly wasn’t sure how to pose the question.
“Brianne?” Alex prompted.
“Ambiguous,” she said, forcing the word from her throat. “A little uncertain about everything?”
“Of course I do,” Alex said. “Brianne, I know this isn’t going to be easy.”
“It’s just…I want to be there for Carter. If I were the one lost out there somewhere, I’d want him to try to find me. And yet…”
On the other end of the line, Alex’s breath caught in his chest. “Yet your feelings aren’t the same?” he suggested.
A few seconds passed—seconds in which Alex didn’t breath. Then Brianne said the words that burst his bubble of hope.
“No, it’s not that my feelings have changed. It’s that I’m scared.”
Alex was angry with himself. Angry that even for a smidgen of a second he had entertained the idea that Brianne was over Carter. A full year after Carter’s disappearance, Brianne had been hanging on to the hope that he would return. Three years later, she was still single. Obviously she was still in love with him—even if he was unworthy of that love.
“I know you’re scared,” Alex said. “I am, too. I mean, we don’t know what we’re dealing with.”
“Exactly,” Brianne said softly. “Maybe the unknown is better.”
“Really?” Alex asked.
“No. Not really.” Brianne blew out a huff of air. “Those are my nerves talking.”
“You want to get together for breakfast or something?”
Alex suggested. “I’ve got to be at the store at ten, but we can meet quickly if you want.”
“No, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“You’re not disturbing me.”
“It’s just…I think I need a bit more time to decide what I’m going to do.”
“And you don’t want me pressuring you until you’ve made your decision.”
“No, no. It’s not that.” Alex heard a sigh. “You must think me crazy.”
“Brianne, I’m the one who showed up at your door after us not talking for two years, and then I dropped a bombshell. Needing time to think things over is not crazy.”
“Thank you,” she said. And then, “I’m going to get something to eat myself. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Sure.” Alex spoke calmly. But as he replaced the receiver, anxiety gripped his gut.
He needed Brianne to go with him to Florida.
It was the only way.
Brianne hadn’t planned on it, but she left her house two hours before she was scheduled to go to work and drove to Outdoor Gear, located in downtown Buffalo on Broadway. The store was close to the 33 Expressway, which would lead her right to the mall.
She had made her decision. If the amount of time she’d spent thinking about Carter since last night was any indication, she wouldn’t be at peace until she knew one way or another.
Still, as Brianne approached the store, she had a sense of unease. But she knew the unease wouldn’t dissipate by ignoring the situation.
Brianne slowed and signaled her intent to turn left. She looked out her driver’s-side window at the storefront for Outdoor Gear. In three years, she had not come to the sporting goods store that Carter and Alex had bought and run together. She hadn’t been able to, knowing that Carter would likely never make another appearance here.
So much had changed in twenty-four hours.
Just as it had changed in an instant three years earlier.
She turned left into the small parking lot, her pulse picking up speed as she parked her car beside Alex’s Mercedes. In a flash, she remembered Carter’s sleek, 7-series navy blue BMW that used to always be parked back here. Carter and Alex had enjoyed some good-humored bantering over which luxury car was truly the top of the line. Alex believed, hands down, that Mercedes made a better car. Carter argued that Mercedes were for old people and that BMWs were the perfect car for a hip, young male.
Brianne actually smiled as she remembered their ribbing and how they’d often gotten her involved to solve the dispute. Brianne had always sided with her man—though she’d secretly preferred the look of the Mercedes.
The happy memory came and went quickly as she exited her Ford Focus and walked to the store’s entrance. She felt oddly nervous. But why should she feel nervous? So what if she hadn’t been here in years?
It was like leaving a school and going back to visit. It always felt a little weird. Like you didn’t quite belong.
Brianne pulled open the front door, and the door chimes sang. There were a few customers in the store, and Alex was currently speaking with a man near the hockey equipment.
He saw her, and for the briefest of moments their eyes held. Then Brianne jerked her gaze away.
She was suddenly remembering the first time she’d entered this store four and a half years ago. It had been her goal at the time to get into better shape, to begin an exercise routine that consisted of walking and biking.
Alex had been the first one to catch her eye. And he’d smiled, bright and warm. But then Carter had appeared from somewhere off to her right, approaching her before Alex could.
And the rest was history.
Brianne glanced in Alex’s direction again. As though he sensed her gaze, he looked at her.
Brianne’s stomach fluttered, surprising her.
Obviously she had not just felt a zap of attraction for Alex.
It was remembering the first time she’d been in this store and had met Carter. The memory of that day was playing havoc with her emotions.
She perused the store as if she were shopping for something, and when Alex was finally free, he came toward her.
“Hey, Brianne.”
“I’ll do it,” she began without preamble. “I’ll work with you to help find Carter.”
Alex hesitated a moment, then said, “If you need more time to make your decision—”
“I don’t need more time,” Brianne interjected. “It was the only decision I could make. Because if Carter’s alive, he’s obviously suffered some trauma.” She paused. “We were engaged. I was months away from marrying him. About to take vows to love him and be there for him forever. So I…I have to be there for him now.”
“I’m glad,” Alex said.
Brianne noticed—not for the first time—just how attractive he was. At six foot four, she had always loved his height. She wondered if he were still single—if Carter’s disappearance had him stuck in the past, unable to move forward as she had been.
“So,” she began, and sighed. “What do we do next?”
“I say we head to Daytona and hit the ground running. It makes sense to head to the place where I saw him.”
“But he could be anywhere now. He could have been visiting Daytona for the event.”
“True,” Alex acknowledged. “But it seems like the best place to start. We can hit the racing circuit. We can also bring pics of Carter and ask if Dean knows him by another name.”
Brianne nodded. “Okay.”
“I think the sooner we leave, the better.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. I’ll have to talk to my district manager, clear the time off with her.”
“Oh,” Alex said, his tone making it clear he hadn’t considered her work might be an issue. “So you might not be able to go—”
“I don’t anticipate a problem,” Brianne said. “My manager and I get along well. I head in to work shortly, so I’ll talk to her then. How long do you think we’ll need to be gone?”
“Hard to say. A few days. Maybe a week.”
“A week?”
“I don’t imagine it’ll take longer than that. But what if we get a lead that takes us to another part of the country?”
“Oh.” Brianne frowned. “I didn’t consider that.”
“I’ll cover all of your expenses,” Alex said. “Your airfare, hotel. And if losing the time from work is going to be a financial burden, I can help you out there, too. In fact, consider it done.”
“You don’t need to do that,” Brianne said.
“Yeah, I do. I’m the one dragging you into this with me. Besides, business is going well.”
Brianne didn’t doubt that. Glancing around the store, she could see that it had been recently renovated. “So you opened a store in Phoenix?”
“Yep.”
“Business is going well there?”
Alex nodded. “Yeah. The store’s bigger than this one, and it’s been busy ever since I opened it.”
“How many stores do you have now?”
“Six and counting,” Alex answered. “I’ve even had an offer to open a store abroad.”
“Abroad. Wow. Where?”
“In Italy.”
So life had been good for him since Carter had disappeared. Brianne didn’t know why that surprised her. Life had to go on for those Carter had left behind.
“When do you think you’ll be able to get the time off work?” Alex asked. “Ideally, I’d like to leave as soon as possible.”
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Kayla Perrin
Three years ago Brianne Kenyon suffered the unthinkable: her fiancé disappeared while hiking the Rocky Mountains, never to be seen again.Heartbroken beneath an avalanche of grief, Brianne's not sure what her path holds. But just when she starts to regain her foothold on life, sexy Alex Thorpe returns to town—and her pain reaches its peak. But so does her desire.Alex Thorpe knows why beautiful Brianne doesn't want to have anything to do with him—and he doesn't blame her. After all, he was her former fiancé's best friend and hiking partner.But Alex can't fight the depths of his passion. . . even when earth-shattering news threatens their trail to romance. Alex is determined to show Brianne that he, and their love, was meant to be the high point of her life.
Tearing his lips from hers, he rasped,
“If you don’t want this, stop it now.”
In response, Brianne gyrated her pelvis against him and kissed the underside of his jaw.
Alex groaned in pleasure, and Brianne felt a surge of power. There was something completely thrilling about knowing that she could seduce a man like Alex.
He was tall, dark and handsome—and she was tired of trying to deny that there was something between them.
As she continued to kiss his jawline, creating what she knew was a path of wonderful sensations all the way to his ear, he gripped her behind and squeezed the flesh. When his finger slipped beneath the edge of her panties, a jolt of heat went straight to her center.
Suddenly, she was being eased onto her back, the sheets were being kicked aside and then Alex was on top of her. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire. Her breathing was ragged as he stared down at her. And she saw the obvious lust in his eyes.
But not just lust. There was something else there. Something tender. Surely she wasn’t imagining it.
“Make love to me,” she whispered.
Dear Reader,
After Island Fantasy, many of you asked me to write a story for Shayna’s sister, Brianne. I’m pleased to tell you that I have, and Freefall to Desire is the result.
If you’ve enjoyed reading my stories over the years, you’ll know that I often infuse elements of intrigue into my books. I love the heightened emotions of a romance combined with intrigue. Because when the world around the characters is falling apart and they’re most vulnerable, they’re often more likely to let go and seize love in an unguarded way. It’s spontaneous and raw and thrilling!
I knew before I set out to write Brianne’s story that I wanted there to be an unsolved mystery in the book. One that would force her to work closely with someone from her past and one that would give her a second chance at love. So when Brianne, who has guarded her heart since losing her fiancé, suddenly finds herself in love’s grip—especially when she least expects it—it is sweeter and more intense than anything she has ever experienced. Because this time, it’s real.
Please let me know how you enjoyed Brianne and Alex’s story by emailing me at kayla@kaylaperrin.com or by contacting me on Facebook or Twitter. Up next will be Selena’s story, a friend of Brianne’s you’ll meet briefly in this book. I plan to continue writing stories that feature friends and family of my characters, because I know how much you love them.
Until next time,
Kayla
About the Author
KAYLA PERRIN
has been writing since the age of thirteen and once entertained the idea of becoming a teacher. Instead she has become a USA TODAY and Essence bestselling author of dozens of mainstream and romance novels. She has been recognized for her talent, including twice winning Romance Writers of America’s Top Ten Favorite Books of the Year Award and the Career Achievement Award for multicultural romance from RT Book Reviews. Kayla lives with her daughter in Ontario, Canada. Visit Kayla at www.KaylaPerrin.com.
Freefall TO DESIRE
Kayla Perrin
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
This book is dedicated to Lady Sharon.
Talented fashion designer. Dedicated mother.
Great friend. I admire how you’re going after your dreams, making them a reality. And proving that it’s never too late. God bless you, my friend!
Prologue
Brianne Kenyon held her breath, her eyes locking with Alex Thorpe’s the moment he stepped into the lobby. For two long hours she had been waiting for his return, praying every second of that time for the best possible outcome. But one look at the defeated expression on his face and she knew that the news was not good.
She rose from the sofa where she and her sister, Shayna, had been sitting and waiting by the cozy fireplace—but nothing about their visit to British Columbia was cozy.
“Nothing?” she asked Alex as he reached her. “No sign of him?”
He ran a hand over his head, emitting a groan of frustration. “Brianne, I’m sorry.”
“But how can that be possible?” she asked. “There has to be something. Some sign of him on the mountain.”
“The Rockies are vast, Brianne,” Alex explained. “He could be anywhere.”
Brianne stared at Alex, willing him to say something that would give her hope. Not the spiel she’d heard from the Canadian authorities over the last five days.
“But,” he continued, then stopped.
“But what?” Brianne asked quickly. She felt her sister slip her arm around her waist, offering support. “There is something. What is it?”
“It… it’s not good.”
Brianne’s stomach sank. She felt nauseous. But she had to know. Good or bad. “Tell me.”
“The search team…they found something,” Alex explained slowly. “Carter’s jacket. It was torn…and … bloody.”
“It might not be Carter’s,” Brianne said without hesitation.
“It was. After I described to them what Carter was wearing that day, they were able to identify the jacket as his. And the moment they showed it to me, I confirmed it.” Alex paused. “It’s bad enough to be out there in this weather, but without a jacket?” His statement hung in the air, heavy and ominous.
Brianne’s brain tried to process the news. She couldn’t speak.
“What are you saying?” Shayna asked. “Do the authorities think that Carter—”
“They don’t want to jump to conclusions,” Alex interjected. “But at the very least, they figure Carter’s hurt. The blood could mean that he fell … or that he was attacked by an animal.”
“What kind of animal?” Shayna asked.
Brianne moved away from her sister then, stepping in the direction of the fire. But it did nothing to warm her. She felt cold from the inside out.
“A wolf,” Alex said. “Maybe a cougar.”
A cougar? God help her. Brianne’s knees buckled then, and she faltered. But strong arms wrapped around her waist before she could collapse onto the floor.
Alex held her up. “Brianne, are you okay?”
A wolf. Maybe a cougar… No, she wasn’t okay. “Brianne?”
Brianne broke down and cried. Cried at the reality that her fiancé was lost in the middle of the Rockies, left to fend for himself in horrendous conditions.
In six days he hadn’t turned up. Five days of searching had produced no sign of him—until now.
A wolf. Maybe a cougar…
“Damn, Brianne. I hate this.” Alex cradled her head against his chest. She gripped his arms, holding on to him as she rode through the turbulent emotional wave.
After about two minutes, she shook her head and eased backward. “No. I won’t believe that he’s anything other than okay. Carter is strong. You know how strong he is. He’s got to be fine.”
“Brianne—”
“Don’t tell me I’m wrong,” she snapped. One minute she’d been bawling, the next biting Alex’s head off. She wanted this all to end.
“Brianne, listen to me,” Alex said. “I know exactly how you’re feeling. But it’s worse than we want to think.”
“Everything will be fine when they find Carter,” Brianne said, refusing to give in to despair.
“They’re not going to find him,” Alex said.
“How can you say that?” She felt a spurt of anger. “Why are you giving up already?”
“Because they’re calling off the search,” Alex answered matter-of-factly.
Brianne’s body went rigid. She looked up at Alex in confusion. “How can they call off the search? Carter’s still lost!”
“I wish it wasn’t the case, Brianne. God knows I do. But they’ve searched for five full days, and the snow has continued to fall, covering any possible tracks. It was a fluke they found his jacket. After all this time out there, they think it’s really unlikely—”
“I don’t care what they think,” Brianne interrupted before Alex could say the words she didn’t want to hear. “They found his jacket, so they know he’s hurt. He’s got to be close by. It’s critical that they keep searching so they can find him now!”
“I agree with you,” Alex said.
“Then do something!” Brianne yelled, not meaning to, but unable to stop herself. People in the hotel lobby looked in her direction. She knew they were wondering what was going on, but she didn’t care. She would make as big a scene as necessary if it got her the results she wanted.
Alex raised his hands in a helpless gesture and then let them fall against his thighs. “What can I do?”
Brianne shook her head in disbelief. “He’s your best friend and you’re giving up on him.” She turned around and marched back to the sofa where she’d left her coat. “Fine. If the authorities are giving up the search, then I have to find Carter.”
“Brianne, you can’t go out there.”
Ignoring Alex, she shoved her arms into the ultrawarm parka she’d bought. “Someone has to!”
“Brianne,” Shayna said gently. “If the authorities can’t find Carter…”
“No, don’t say it. Please, Shayna. Don’t say it.”
And then she started for the door.
Alex reached her before she could step outside. “Don’t be foolish, Brianne. Carter wouldn’t want you to get lost, too.”
And as she met Alex’s gaze, saw the pain she was feeling shimmering in his eyes, she knew he was right.
There was nothing she could do.
Her knees giving way again, she reached out and gripped Alex’s forearms. Gripped them for dear life as emotion overwhelmed her.
This time when she cried, she couldn’t stop the tears. Because she had most likely lost the love of her life. The man she was supposed to marry next year.
And her life would never be the same.
Chapter 1
Three years later…
Brianne held the heavy silver picture frame with both hands, staring fondly at the photo of the smiling couple behind the glass.
Three years, she thought. Three years since you’ve been gone.
Brianne wore an ear-to-ear grin in the picture, more giggle than smile. She’d been giddy with happiness as she’d posed with Carter Smith, the man who’d stolen her heart at a point when she hadn’t expected to fall in love. She and Carter were standing against a palm tree, the picturesque stretch of sand and blue water in Hawaii behind them. Even if Brianne and Carter hadn’t been in Maui for a romantic vacation, she would have remembered exactly when the photo had been taken.
It had been taken the day Carter had proposed to her.
The helicopter ride Carter had booked for them turned into the most memorable moment of all when he’d surprised Brianne with an exquisite cushion-cut diamond engagement ring. Soaring over a volcano, Carter had asked Brianne to marry him, and she had enthusiastically said yes. Emotionally, she’d been higher than any cloud, expecting that nothing would happen to destroy the happiness she’d been feeling at the time. Brianne had been in love and looking forward to a wonderful life with the man of her dreams. At the time, she couldn’t imagine anything ever going wrong.
But things had gone wrong. Barely two months after they’d gotten engaged. All at once, everything had changed.
Brianne’s eyes misted as she regarded the photo of her and Carter in happier times. It was still hard to believe what had happened, much less accept it.
And yet, here she was, without Carter. Today was the three-year anniversary since that tragic, cold day in the Rocky Mountains.
Gone. In an instant. Carter Smith had simply vanished.
That was the hardest part to bear, the not knowing if he was alive or dead.
The authorities had been of a different opinion than Brianne. No, they hadn’t found Carter’s body, but they had found remnants of the torn and bloodied jacket he’d been wearing. Given that finding, coupled with the unexpected snowstorm, they’d surmised that Carter had lost his way on the mountain and that the unthinkable had happened. Months later, hikers had stumbled upon Carter’s backpack—which included his passport—approximately ten miles from the spot where they’d found his jacket. That had solidified the opinion that he had died.
Brianne could not deny that the snowstorm had likely led to Carter getting lost. But what she did not accept— could not accept—was that the man who had so enthusiastically loved the outdoors and could cope in almost any circumstance could have become a victim of nature. The authorities believed one of two possibilities: the first was that Carter had died during the snowstorm and his remains had been eaten by animals. The second possibility was even worse to imagine—that Carter had been attacked and killed by hungry wildlife while alive.
Brianne shuddered. She didn’t want to let her mind go there. Thinking that Carter had died was bad enough, but imagining that his body had been eaten… That part was too much to contemplate. And yet, she had nightmares about exactly that.
But despite the nightmares, Brianne had been able to cling to some hope. The hope that since there had been no body, maybe Carter was still alive.
Before Carter’s disappearance, Brianne had seen stories on the news about people who had been missing for years, only to turn up unexpectedly one day suffering from amnesia. After Carter’s disappearance, she had become addicted to such stories. Four months after Carter was gone, she broke down and bawled when she saw a story on the news about a man in Oregon who had survived some mishap in the wilderness and had resurfaced across the country a year later. Brianne believed fervently that this would be the news she would one day get regarding Carter.
Shayna didn’t believe Carter was alive. Nor did anyone else in her family. But how could Brianne allow herself to think that Carter was dead when it was just as possible that he was alive somewhere, not knowing who he was and therefore unable to get back to her?
Perhaps she was naive to hope. But she hadn’t wanted to give up. Now, however, on the three-year anniversary of Carter’s disappearance, she was wondering if she had simply been lying to herself the entire time.
Just because you wished something was true didn’t make it so.
After three years, Brianne needed some sort of closure, and that closure would not come by hanging on to the hope that Carter might return. As hard as it was going to be, she had to say a final goodbye to him.
If Carter had not returned yet, it was likely that he never would. Her sister, Shayna, had tried to encourage her to move on for her own sanity.
Brianne knew that Shayna was right. Moving on was truly the only way she would ever heal. Sometimes in life bad things happened. This was one of those times.
Brianne replaced the framed photo on her dresser and drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm her frayed nerves. Perhaps a trip to the Rockies would help her get closure. She had felt helpless at the time when Carter was lost. The authorities had searched the mountains, as had Alex Thorpe—Carter’s best friend, who had accompanied him on the ill-fated hiking trip. Brianne had gone crazy with worry at a nearby hotel, waiting for word, unable to do anything to aid in the search. All she could do was pray.
There had been a memorial service organized by Carter’s family, held at the Rockies. But Brianne had stubbornly refused to attend and had instead returned home. One year later, in Buffalo, she had attended the memorial service marking the one-year anniversary of Carter’s disappearance. She had done so out of respect for Carter’s family rather than a desire to move on, but she had been angry at almost everyone in attendance—at all the people who had so quickly chosen to believe that their friend and family member was not coming back.
Before, Brianne had doggedly not wanted to give in to the belief that Carter was dead, as if just wishing him alive would influence reality.
Now she had to move on. And maybe the only way to do that was to go to the last place Carter had been seen alive. Have her own private memorial for Carter at the Rockies and bid him a final goodbye.
As she made her way downstairs to the kitchen, the idea felt right. Yes, she would plan a trip to British Columbia. It would be nice to go with Shayna, but her sister had just gotten married, and she and her new husband, Donovan, were still honeymooning in Jamaica. Brianne’s parents were also out of town, having decided to spend an extra week in Jamaica as well.
There was no reason Brianne couldn’t go to British Columbia alone. In fact, maybe that was best. A quiet time for reflection, to make peace with what had happened.
Brianne was a manager at Scented Suds, a store that sold a variety of luxury body soaps and lotions. As a manager, she was entitled to several weeks of vacation per year. But she had just returned from Jamaica two days ago and didn’t like the idea of requesting more time off without much notice. However, it was necessary. Alexis, the store’s assistant manager, would certainly be able to manage the store in her absence. Brianne would have to run the request by Marlene, the district manager. She didn’t doubt that Marlene—who knew firsthand the stress Brianne had gone through when Carter had disappeared—would allow her this additional time off.
Brianne got herself a low-fat granola bar and a bottle of water from the kitchen and then went back up to her room, where she booted up her laptop. The smart thing would be to check for flights and find out when it was most economically feasible to head to Canada. Then she could call Marlene with a definite time frame.
It would have been nice to be there today, the official anniversary. But the thought had come to Brianne too late. The truth was, it was a thought she hadn’t even considered. Perhaps it was seeing her sister and Donovan, so much in love on their wedding day, that was leading her to take that final step toward closure.
Three years had passed. It was time she made peace with the fact that Carter wasn’t coming back.
She was only twenty-seven. Far too young to accept that she would never get married. She couldn’t even imagine falling in love with someone else, but Brianne knew that time healed all wounds. One day, she would fall in love again.
While she couldn’t be at the Rockies today, Brianne had waited three years to get to the point where she finally felt like she could move on. She could wait a week or so more.
And for her, moving on meant more than accepting that Carter wasn’t coming back. It was letting go of the anger she felt toward Carter’s best friend, Alex. Alex had been with Carter that fateful day, and he had come out of the mountain alive. Her rational brain knew that Alex wasn’t responsible for what had happened to Carter, but he had never satisfactorily explained why he had gotten off the mountain and Carter had not.
Brianne had been looking for answers—something she’d made very clear to Alex on the few occasions that they’d spoken. Now, she was beginning to consider just how hard the whole ordeal must have been for Alex. To be the one who survived, while his friend had not. He had probably replayed the day’s events over and over in his head, wondering if there was one thing he could have done differently that would have changed the outcome. Brianne certainly had—and she hadn’t even been on the trip.
She wasn’t the only one who’d lost someone that cold November day. Alex Thorpe had lost a friend and business partner, and the guilt he felt because he hadn’t been able to save Carter had likely eaten at him over the years.
Brianne poised her fingers over the keyboard, ready to type. But then she thought she heard the doorbell.
Had she?
She paused, straining to listen. A few seconds later, she knew she had heard correctly when the doorbell sounded again.
She got up from the small desk in the corner of her room, wondering who might be here. It was early evening, just after six, but dark outside. She didn’t expect solicitors, nor a delivery person. Maybe it was her best friend, Kim, whom she’d spoken to earlier, coming to help get her mind off of the past.
Brianne hurried downstairs and then looked through the peephole as she always did before swinging the door open. But what she saw there made her reel backward.
Rather, who she saw there.
She was flabbergasted.
It may have been dark, but she knew her eyes were not deceiving her. Even if never in a million years did she expect to see him.
Indeed, two full years had passed since she’d laid eyes on him.
And yet, it made perfect sense that he was here. He, like she, had been forever affected by what had happened on this day three years ago.
The doorbell sounded again. Slowly, Brianne unlocked and opened the door. And there stood Alex Thorpe, on her small front porch, with a serious expression on his face.
And though Brianne had told herself only moments ago that she should hold no anger toward him, it flared again. As irrational as it was, Alex was a physical outlet for her pain and frustration. A person she could blame for something that had been out of everyone’s control.
“Brianne.” Alex spoke her name, as serious as the expression on his face.
Brianne said nothing. She didn’t know what to say. The last time she and Alex had spoken, two years ago exactly, he’d gotten her so angry she’d stormed off.
“It’s been a year, Brianne. There’s been no sign of him. No action in any of his bank accounts. And he was never documented crossing the border back into the States. Do you really expect Carter to walk back into your life? What are you hanging on to?”
And Brianne realized, in that instant, why she’d been so angry with Alex over the past couple of years. At first, she had thought it was because Alex had been Carter’s partner in crime—the guy Carter always went off with on his thrill-seeking adventures. From sky-diving to extreme skiing to base jumping off of buildings…to hiking mountains in bad weather. It had been easy to think that if Alex had refused to go with Carter, Carter might not have gotten lost on that mountain.
But it was more than that, and Brianne now knew why. Alex had been Carter’s best friend, and yet he had so easily given up on him. Like the others who wanted to declare him dead and move on, Alex had done the very same thing.
But as a best friend, she had expected him to want to do all in his power to find Carter. To travel to the ends of the earth, if that was necessary. To leave no stone unturned, as the saying went. Instead, on the one-year anniversary of Carter’s disappearance, Alex had told her that she was foolishly hanging on to hope.
“I’m holding on to our love!” Brianne had shouted at him outside the church, not meaning to yell. “And what exactly happened on the mountain? How did you and Carter get separated? How is it that you came off of the mountain alive, but he didn’t?”
Alex hadn’t answered the question, just advised her that it was time for her to accept reality. That was when Brianne had stormed off, away from Alex Thorpe, not caring if she never saw him again.
And yet here he was, on her doorstep two years later.
“You shouldn’t be here,” she said to him now. She might have resolved to let go of her anger toward him, but him being here was stirring up the uncertainty and helplessness she’d felt surrounding Carter’s disappearance. If they spoke again, it had to be when she was ready. When she could talk to him without the weight of Carter’s disappearance between them.
“I know you don’t want to see me,” Alex said, his voice low. “And trust me, I wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t important. But what I have to say…it needed to be in person.” He paused for a moment, huddling into his leather jacket as a cold breeze swirled. “Can we talk inside?”
Brianne looked beyond him to the late-model, high-end Mercedes parked at her sidewalk. It was black and sparkled beneath the streetlights. She knew it was his—which meant he’d driven here.
“I thought you were in Phoenix,” Brianne said. Word was, Alex had moved there to open up another store in the sporting goods chain he and Carter had started. Life and business had gone on for him—something else that irked Brianne, even if it was irrational to expect anything else.
“I was, but I’m back. Look, it’s pretty cold outside. Can I come in?”
Brianne wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him that it hurt too much to see him, especially today. That he should leave and come back later—or better yet, not at all.
But the fact that he was here spoke volumes. And even though his presence reminded her of what had happened three years ago, it also reminded her of something else. That they’d once been friends.
Maybe Alex was here to make amends with another person who had loved Carter dearly. Wasn’t it time they started talking again? Rationally, she knew that Carter wouldn’t have wanted them upset with each other, as they were that day two years ago.
That thought filling her mind, Brianne stepped backward and held the door open. “All right,” she said softly, her tone guarded. “You can come in.”
Alex bent his head slightly as he entered the house. He was tall—six foot four, a little taller than the height of the doorframe of the prewar house. His body was in the same muscular form Brianne remembered from the past. No surprise there. In addition to their thrill-seeking, both Alex and Carter had been active in a variety of sports—cycling, kickboxing, basketball. They’d liked to spend hours on the weekends playing a variety of sports, keeping their bodies perfectly toned. Their love of sport had led them to open their first sporting goods store in downtown Buffalo, and then a second in Amherst and a third in Niagara Falls. Two men, best friends since childhood, had worked hard to achieve the American dream and had succeeded.
But that dream had been marred with the death of one half of the business.
Brianne looked at Alex then—really stared at him. And noted that his attractive face was marred with a scowl. Again, it struck her that he had probably been carrying around an enormous amount of guilt. She wondered if he had smiled in the last three years.
“We can chat in here,” Brianne said, gesturing to the sitting room near the front door. She led the way into the room, turning on the lights as she did, then took a seat on one of the sofas. Alex folded his tall frame into the lounge chair opposite her.
Just looking at him, Brianne felt regret. How had they lost not only Carter but their friendship? In fact, when Brianne had walked into their sporting goods store, she had noticed Alex first. Noticed his extreme good looks and warm smile. Then out of nowhere, Carter had appeared and offered to help her. She’d been shopping for a bike, and Carter had helped her try a number of them in order to find the one best suited to her. It had been clear to her that Carter was spending more time with her than necessary. He had been flirting, and Brianne—unused to that kind of attention—had been flattered. The rest, as they say, was history. She’d fallen for Carter, but she’d also become friends with Alex. Now she regretted that the death of Carter had also led to the death of their bond.
“I’m glad you came to see me,” she said before he could speak. “I guess it’s about time we…talk again.” Her emotions were all over the place—from anger to regret and now to empathy—but she supposed that was to be expected. Empathy was now morphing into a dull ache of pain. Pain over Carter’s loss, but also pain over the fact that she’d lost Alex’s friendship.
Alex nodded. His expression was still grim, making Brianne wonder if the pain for him was as intense as when Carter had disappeared into that storm.
“I never should have said those things I said to you,” she continued. “I know it wasn’t your fault. It was the grief talking.”
“We both lost someone we cared about, but we shouldn’t have lost our friendship,” Brianne went on when Alex said nothing. “Thank you for being the one with the courage to make the first move.”
When Alex still didn’t speak, it struck Brianne that for a man who’d shown up on her door claiming that they needed to talk, he was being strangely silent.
Instead he sighed, the heavy sound filling the quiet room.
And that’s when she understood that something was seriously wrong. That Alex hadn’t shown up to talk about mending their friendship.
“Oh, dear God in heaven.” Brianne leaned forward, clutching her stomach as it roiled. Though she’d known the news would come one day, she suddenly wasn’t prepared for it. Carter’s remains must have been found. After all this time, his bones had been discovered and tested for DNA and—
“Brianne.” Alex paused. Sighed. Then he forged ahead. “There’s no real way to say this—”
“They found him,” she said, the finality of the words too hard to wrap her mind around. Three years of not knowing, and now—
“He’s not dead.”
Brianne looked up at Alex, the tears that had formed in her eyes blurring his image. Certainly she hadn’t heard him correctly. “Wh—what did you say?”
“All this time, you didn’t believe it. You didn’t believe he was dead.”
Another pause. Brianne continued to stare at Alex, not understanding.
And then he said the words she never thought he would ever utter. “Brianne, I think you were right all along. I think Carter’s alive.”
Chapter 2
If Alex had just up and slapped her, Brianne would have been less surprised.
She gaped at Alex, certain she had not heard him correctly. “What did you say?”
“Unbelievable, right? But I think it’s possible Carter didn’t die three years ago.”
“You think…you think Carter is…” Brianne couldn’t even say it. So long she had wanted to believe it. But she didn’t want to get her hopes up, only to be wrong.
“I know,” Alex said. “After all this time, it sounds crazy. Impossible. But I think…I really think Carter’s alive.”
Seconds of silence passed. Alex stared at her, and she stared back at him in utter bewilderment. “But…but why have you changed your mind?” she finally asked. “I don’t understand. You were certain he was dead. That’s what you told me two years ago.” Brianne was confused and felt like she was in a turbulent sea, being rocked around by waves with nothing to cling to for support.
Alex didn’t speak, and Brianne got the sense that even he wasn’t sure of the answer. But there had to be a reason for the about-face.
“You can’t just come here and tell me that you think Carter is alive.” Only for this to be some misplaced speculation. “Not after three years.”
“I saw something on television,” Alex began slowly.
“Something on television?” Brianne repeated, already doubting that what he was about to say could change her mind about what she had come to accept. “What, a documentary about people going missing the way Carter did? I saw those, too, and at the end of the day—”
“Hear me out,” Alex said. “You’ll understand.”
“Okay.” Obviously the fact that Alex was here meant he thought he had good reason to believe Carter was alive.
“You know Carter and I were into extreme sports.”
Did she ever. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t been able to forgive Alex, figuring that had he not been Carter’s partner in crime, her fiancé might still be alive. “What did you see?”
“A few weeks ago, there was an event called the Fall Cycle Scene—four days of intense motorcycle racing at the Daytona Speedway. It’s exactly the kind of thing Carter would have enjoyed. I was watching on a Sunday afternoon, and I thought…” He glanced away momentarily before meeting her gaze once more. “I’m pretty sure I saw Carter in the crowd.”
Even though she hadn’t wanted to, Brianne had begun to hope. But Alex’s explanation deflated that hope. “A face in the crowd?”
“Not just in the crowd. It was more than a quick clip of some face in the distance. The guy I’m sure was Carter was with one of the racers, a guy named Dean Knight, who is based out of Daytona. When Dean won his race, the cameras were all over him. And that’s when I saw Carter, congratulating Dean on the track. High-fiving him, patting him on the back. The whole nine yards. In fact, it looked to me like Carter was a part of Dean’s team.”
“Which would be easy enough to check out,” Brianne said. “A call to this Dean Knight—”
“That’s the problem. I got in touch with Dean’s people, left a message for him and he called me back. He said he doesn’t know a Carter Smith.”
Brianne frowned. “So you’re wrong.” Why had he bothered to get her hopes up?
“Yeah, I accepted that. For about a week. But I kept thinking about the image I saw. The smile on the guy’s face, the way he moved. Carter and I were best friends for fifteen years. I’d know him anywhere. His hair was different, but I’m ninety percent positive that that was him.”
Carter. Alive. The words Brianne had wanted to hear for so long. But this wasn’t proof. This was…it was hope on Alex’s part. A best friend trying—as she had—to cling to a thread of possibility.
“Alex, this all sounds crazy. It—it can’t be true. A face in the crowd, someone who looked liked Carter…” She shrugged helplessly.
“It’s more than that,” Alex said. “Yes, it sounds crazy, but my gut says it was him.” He paused, stared at Brianne for a long moment. “And I was thinking—hoping—that maybe we can work together to find him.”
Alex saw the way the expression on Brianne’s face changed from stunned to hopeful. It was subtle. She was still confused and overwhelmed—that was also evident in her expression—but there was definitely a glint of hope in her eyes.
And for that he felt a little bad.
Make that a whole lot of bad.
He didn’t want to get her hopes up only to shatter them, but he knew no other way to handle this delicate situation. He had contemplated coming here and telling her everything he suspected, but each time he considered it, he knew he couldn’t. Brianne would probably come to the same conclusion he had and react angrily—which would be understandable—but then she would have wanted nothing more to do with Carter. Having lived without him for three years, she would no doubt close the book on him and move on.
She certainly wouldn’t want to help look for him.
No, Alex certainly couldn’t tell her the truth—at least not the whole truth—and expect her cooperation.
And right now, to get the answers he needed—no, the answers he deserved—he needed her cooperation.
There were times when the ends justified the means, especially when the ends were noble. This was one of those times. Because Carter Smith had stolen something from Alex, something that meant the world to him. Plain and simple, he needed it back.
Alex would be there for Brianne in the aftermath of what would undoubtedly happen, would deal with her wrath and help her through the resulting pain. Because there was no other way to handle this. And it was imperative that Alex keep his eye on the end goal.
If there were another way to do this, he would.
Once Alex had spotted Carter on television, he figured tracking him down would be easy. He had contacted Dean Knight and expected that it would be as simple as that—that Dean would say, yeah, he knew Carter Smith, and then Alex would head to Florida to confront his former friend. Instead, Dean had claimed not to know Carter, leaving Alex at square one.
There were two explanations for that. Either Dean was lying, or Carter had lied to Dean about his identity.
Alex figured it was the latter. Because if Carter was alive, then it meant he had faked his death to begin with. Alex would bet his life on that.
“How, exactly, do you think we can find him?” Brianne asked, pulling him from his thoughts.
“By going to Daytona, for one thing. That’s where Dean Knight lives. It’s where I saw Carter on television. It could be where he’s living right now.”
“Maybe. Or maybe not.”
“It’s the only place I can think of to start the search,” Alex said. “We can show Dean his picture, see if he remembers him. Then go from there.”
“And you want me along for this?” Brianne asked.
“I figured…I figured you’d want to be there.”
Brianne nodded. Of course he would expect that. She had hoped for nothing but a reunion with Carter for the past three years. And yet…
The idea that Carter was alive was oddly scary. What kind of state was he in mentally? And how would he and Brianne pick up where they’d left off?
“Are you sure, Alex?”
“That I want you to come with me? Yeah.”
“No. Are you sure that Carter is alive?”
“One hundred per cent?” Alex shrugged. “I can’t say I’m totally certain. All I know is that the guy looked a heck of a lot like Carter. If we all knew Carter to be alive and well, I wouldn’t doubt it was him on TV. Absolutely not. But because he’s been gone for three years, I can’t be totally sure. But my gut…I’ve got to go with it.”
“So what I thought all along is possibly true,” Brianne said, her voice filling with hope. “He got lost on that mountain. Disoriented. Maybe he fell and hit his head and that caused him to lose his memory. Or he experienced some other trauma.”
Brianne slowly rose as she spoke, and the look on her face…it was like a stab in Alex’s heart. Because he knew that what she was imagining—a happy reunion, the continuation of the future she thought had come to an end—wasn’t going to happen.
But until he found Carter, Brianne would have to be in the dark. It was the only way.
“That’s a possibility,” Carter said, noncommittally. Truthfully, he couldn’t rule it out. But in his heart, he didn’t believe it. Seeing Carter’s face that day, that happy, carefree smile—and seeing him at an event both he and Carter had always enjoyed—well, Alex didn’t believe for a second that Carter didn’t know who he was. And if he hadn’t at first but now did, why not return home? But that was not something he was going to share with Brianne. At least not yet.
“It wouldn’t explain how he got across the Canadian border,” Brianne said, talking to herself mostly, “but maybe he hiked the Rockies back into America. Anything’s possible.”
“You’ve got that right,” Alex agreed, a tinge of bitterness in his voice.
But Brianne missed the tone. Facing him, she clasped her hands tightly together. “Alex, I’m shaking.”
Alex swallowed, trying not to show any particular emotion. He wanted nothing more than to get up, pull Brianne into his arms and hold her tight.
His eyes roamed over her, from her trembling hands to her trim physique to her widened eyes. Lord, she was a vision. She was thinner. That had changed. She’d obviously spent a good amount of time working out since he’d last seen her. What hadn’t changed was that she was still as cute as a button.
It was what he’d thought the first moment he’d seen her. She had walked into the store wearing black pants and a tank top that hugged her beautiful curves. Alex had stepped in her direction, instantly intrigued. But then Carter had made a beeline for her, and that had been that. Alex had lost his chance to pursue anything with Brianne.
“Alex?”
“Hmm?” He looked up at her. He hadn’t heard a word she’d said.
“I asked if you really want to do this. Head to Florida?”
He cleared his throat before speaking. “I think it warrants investigation, yes.”
Brianne nodded, then bit down on her bottom lip. She looked vulnerable as she stared at some point ahead of her, probably not really seeing anything, just lost in her thoughts.
She suddenly shifted her gaze to his, as though she had caught him staring. Alex moved his eyes.
“What if you’re wrong?” she asked softly.
Alex looked at her and shrugged. “Don’t you want to know? One way or another? ”
“To tell the truth…I’m not sure. I…I don’t know if I could handle getting my hopes up, only to learn that you saw someone who looked like him.”
“I know what you mean,” Alex said. “But the way things are now, we don’t know—”
“And what if he’s got this whole other life—which he’d have to, right? A life that doesn’t include me?”
“You mean assuming he has amnesia?”
“Yes.” She looked scared suddenly, and something inside Alex’s gut stirred. “If he’s been missing all this time, he must have suffered some type of memory loss. What if he’s got a family?” She swallowed. “I don’t want…I’m not sure I could handle that.”
“Even if he’s got a new family, he’s still got his family back here. Parents who grieved for his loss. Friends. You.” He paused, looked at her pointedly. “He deserves to know about the people he’s left behind.”
Brianne began to pace. “Maybe you’re right. But if it does turn out to be Carter, his parents will always be his parents. I’m just a woman he used to love. He’s probably forgotten all about me.”
Alex stood and walked toward Brianne, stopping only when he was directly in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re more that that,” he said, then took a breath, hoping she didn’t pick up on the double meaning behind his words. All this time he hadn’t seen her, and yet he was still attracted to her.
His best friend’s girl.
Former best friend’s girl.
“Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to give up hope?” he asked. “The one who thought for sure that I was wrong, that Carter was out there alive somewhere?” She nodded, but Alex saw pain in her eyes. “Wouldn’t you feel better knowing he was alive, even if he’s got a new life?”
“I don’t know,” Brianne said softly. “Maybe.”
“Then we work together. We hit the streets in Florida. We find out if Carter is still alive. Once we know for sure, we can decide what to do next.”
Brianne stepped away from Alex and hugged her torso. “You can do it without me.”
“Maybe. But we both knew Carter, and I think it’ll be easier—”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can.”
She shook her head.
Alex didn’t want to pressure her, but she couldn’t say no. He needed her. “I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”
“This is all too much to process right now. I need time. Will you give me that?”
“Of course,” he said. “Absolutely. I’ll give you my number and you call me whenever.”
“I’m not making any promises.”
“That’s fine.” Alex wasn’t about to pressure her, even if he needed her. Brianne would want to know. He felt that in his heart. She would think things over and then call him and tell him she wanted to help him find Carter.
At least he hoped so.
Because she had the key to finding Carter.
“I’ve got a business card in the car. I’ll go get it.”
Brianne nodded.
Alex went to the front door and jogged down the steps. There was a chill in the November air, reminiscent of the day he and Carter had gone into the mountain three years ago. Three years that had changed his life.
Because Carter hadn’t just destroyed him emotionally when he’d disappeared on that mountain. If Alex was right, he had taken the one thing from him more precious than any money.
While he and Carter had been in hiking the Canadian Rockies, someone had ransacked Alex’s home, emptying the safe of not only its cash but of a family heirloom that meant the world to him.
On her deathbed, Alex’s mother had given him a ring that had once belonged to her mother. His mother had told him that since she hadn’t had any daughters, she was passing the antique diamond engagement ring to him. That he should give it to the woman he would ultimately marry.
The memory burned him as he retrieved a business card from his car. At the time, he’d considered it a cruel twist of fate that his home had been robbed at the same time that his friend went missing. Now, he didn’t think it a coincidence at all.
His gut told him it was all a part of Carter’s plan.
Alex went back to Brianne’s front door. She swung the door open before he could.
To his surprise, he saw tears in her eyes.
“Brianne,” he said with alarm. “Are you okay?”
She wiped at her eyes and forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just overwhelmed, is all.”
Guilt slammed into him. Maybe it was unfair to involve her in his plan. She had gone through so much as it was…
“I’ll be fine,” she told him. “You have your card?”
“Yeah,” he replied and passed it to her. “The office number is on there, and my cell. You can reach me anytime.”
Nodding, she accepted the card. “Okay. I’ll call you.”
“I’ll talk to you later, then,” Alex said.
“Mmm hmm.”
Again, he was struck by her loveliness, and her vulnerability. His heart quickened.
Ignoring the feeling, he turned away from her and trotted down the steps.
He hoped it wasn’t a mistake to involve her in this. And yet, he didn’t know of another way.
He had to do what he had to do to get back what was taken from him.
Alex could live without the money that had been stolen from his place. Insurance had replaced it, anyway. But the ring that had meant so much to his mother. That was irreplaceable.
Alex wanted it back. And he intended to get it.
Chapter 3
Brianne went to the living room’s front window and peered outside. Alex’s car was still there, as if he were waiting for something. But moments later, she heard the engine turn over and his sleek and expensive Mercedes drove away from the curb. Only when his car was out of view did she ease back and let her body fall onto the plush sofa.
Carter. Alive. Could it be possible?
Brianne pulled her knees onto the sofa, holding them close to her chest. Her head was spinning. She felt more ambiguous than hopeful, more confused as opposed to certain about what she should do.
Why now? she thought. Why at a point when she had just resolved to let go of any hope that Carter was alive had Alex shown up at her door?
Was this a sign from God? A sign that she should not be giving up on Carter?
Brianne sat for several minutes, holding Alex’s card in her palm. What had happened was so bizarre that she almost couldn’t be sure if she were dreaming.
But she was awake, no doubt about it, which meant that what had just happened had actually happened.
She glanced down at the card in her hand. The name ALEX THORPE was written in big, bold letters. She didn’t know what was more unsettling, Alex’s sudden appearance at her door or what he’d told her.
Carter. Alive. How long she had waited to hear those words… Why wasn’t she jumping for joy?
Brianne got up from the sofa and went to her bedroom. Her best friend, Salina, was in New York pursuing her career as a chef and her new man. Brianne called her cell but got no answer. Again. The last she had heard from Salina was two weeks ago, and she’d said that she was working long hours, was stressed but that otherwise all was good.
“Hey, girl,” Brianne said when the voice mail picked up. “Something major just happened. Call me. I need to talk to someone.”
Unable to reach Salina, Brianne went to the closet, retrieved her suitcase and found the travel documents she’d had for her sister’s wedding at the Gran Bahia Principe hotel in Jamaica. She didn’t like the idea of disturbing Shayna while she was on her honeymoon, but this was an emergency.
She called the hotel in Jamaica. Within minutes, she was connected to her sister’s room.
After the third ring, Brianne thought no one was going to answer. Not that she expected them to. Either Shayna and Donovan were out enjoying an evening show at the resort, or they were doing what honeymooners did best. But just before the fourth ring, someone picked up the receiver.
Brianne heard some shuffling, and then, “Hello?”
“Shayna!” Brianne exclaimed, happy to hear her sister’s voice. She didn’t realize until that exact moment how much she needed her sister right now.
“Brianne?”
“I’m sorry to call you on your honeymoon. I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t very, very important.” Brianne heard Donovan ask something along the lines of if she was okay. “Yes, tell Donovan I’m okay. Well, actually I’m not too sure that I am.”
“What’s going on, Bree?” Shayna asked, her voice laced with concern. “Oh, of course. How could I have forgotten? It’s today. The three-year anniversary.”
“Oh, Shay.” A little sob escaped Brianne. “I just talked to Alex, and he said something. Something that’s hard to believe.”
“Alex? As in Carter’s best friend?”
“Yes.”
“I thought he’d left Buffalo.”
“So did I. But apparently he’s back.”
“He just called out of the blue?”
“He came to the house.”
“Oh, God.” Shayna’s voice was barely a whisper, and Brianne knew her sister was coming to the same conclusion she had. “They found Carter’s remains.”
“That’s what I thought, too, when I saw him. But Shay, he said something that has me reeling. He thinks…” Brianne paused, inhaled deeply. “He thinks that Carter’s alive.”
“What? How?”
Brianne took the next few minutes to fill her sister in, tell her everything Alex had said. “He wants me to go to Florida to help find Carter. But I don’t think I can. I mean, what if it was just a look-alike Alex saw? It’s been so hard for me already, trying to deal with the unrealistic likelihood that Carter might come back one day. In so many ways, it might have been easier if I’d just accepted that he had died. So what if we get to Florida and find this person and it’s not Carter after all? I don’t know if I can deal with that.”
“I don’t even know what to say, sis. I’m totally in shock.”
Again, Brianne heard Donovan speaking, and then she heard Shayna’s muffled voice as she filled her husband in on what was happening.
“A part of me is too scared to hope,” Brianne said. “But what if Carter is alive and he needs me? Or what if he’s alive and he’s got this whole new life that I won’t fit into?”
“I’d want to know,” Shayna said. “If you go and learn that it was simply a Carter look-alike, that’ll probably help you with closure. You can probably put to bed the idea of Carter ever coming back. But if you go and discover that against all odds Carter is alive… Yes, it would be hard to find out that he was involved with someone else, but will it be any easier wondering?”
Shayna had a good point. “Not really. No. It’s the wondering that has been so hard these past years.”
“Then again, Alex could deal with this on his own and report back to you what he finds. Especially if he learns that Carter has a wife and kids.”
A wife and kids. The words made a lump form in Brianne’s throat. She always thought that she would be Carter’s wife and the mother of his children.
“I’m sorry,” Shayna said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, don’t apologize. Nothing about this situation is sweet and rosy. I have to accept that.”
A beat passed, then Shayna asked, “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I called you. To get your input.”
“Truthfully, I think that Alex probably saw a guy who looked a lot like Carter, but I doubt it was him. If Carter were alive, then he would have needed medical attention at some point. The authorities would certainly have been called. Then there’s the issue of him coming back to America without his identification. Brianne, I can’t see this person truly being him.”
“But there was no body.” Brianne spoke the words more to herself, thinking about the amount of times she had refused to believe Carter dead simply because his jacket and backpack had been found.
“I know,” Shayna agreed. “But you know what the authorities think. And there was enough blood on the jacket that they believed there had to have been some sort of attack.”
“Yes, yes, I know.” Brianne sighed. “Sorry, Shay. I’m not trying to be testy. It’s just…I still can’t think about what might have happened to Carter. It’s too hard.”
“Brianne, you have to decide what’s best for you to do. If you think going to Florida will help, then go. But if it’s going to be more painful than anything, then I think you shouldn’t do it.”
“I thought you said you’d want to know.”
“I did, yes. But when I really think about it, the likelihood of it—and how your emotions will get dragged through the ringer again—I don’t think it’s worth it. That said, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”
“I know you will,” Brianne said softly. “Thanks for listening. I’m sorry I disturbed you.”
“Are you kidding? I’m glad you called. I’m just sorry that you’re there by yourself dealing with this.”
“Tell Donovan hi. I’m gonna let you go.”
“All right. But, Bree, if you need to talk again, don’t hesitate to call back.”
Brianne heard the note of concern in Shayna’s voice and loved her sister for it. If not for Shayna, Brianne might not have come out of the dark days of depression after Carter’s disappearance.
“Go back to whatever it is you two lovebirds were doing,” Brianne said, injecting humor into her voice. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Take care, sis. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Brianne said.
Brianne ended the call and sat in the dark room, her thoughts once again going back to Carter. More specifically, to the day she had learned from Alex that Carter hadn’t come off of the mountain.
Never in her life had she gone through a more emotionally wrenching time. For a twenty-four-year-old, deeply in love and losing the man she adored—it had been too much to bear.
Of course, she’d been devastated. But she’d been most upset with the searchers and the authorities and everyone who had been willing to write Carter off as dead. Determined to prove them all wrong, she had booked a ticket to head to British Columbia and search the mountain herself if necessary. Her sister had gone with her for support. But while in Canada, Brianne had realized how utterly helpless she was to effect any change. The amount of snow was unbelievable, and she—a woman who couldn’t stand a day of camping in decent weather—was never going to be able to find Carter when the search team couldn’t.
Once the search had been called off and she’d returned home, Brianne had gone into a depression. She had stayed in bed, not eating, not drinking. But her family had been there for her, bringing her plates of food and hot tea. Brianne refused it all until she could no longer starve herself. Then she’d fed her turbulent emotions with food. Within six months, she’d put on the thirty pounds she had spent the year and a half with Carter working off.
She knew how she got when it came to her emotions—unable to truly control them and helpless to assuage herself. It was the reason that going to Florida was such a daunting idea for her. If her hopes were once again deflated…
“Sleep on it,” Brianne said softly to herself. “And pray on it. When you wake up, you’ll know what to do.”
She settled in her bed with the rough draft of the novel her sister had just finished. Brianne always read Shayna’s books to give her input before she submitted them to her editor. But despite her sister’s compelling writing, Brianne simply couldn’t lose herself in the fictional historical world.
I think you were right all along. I think Carter’s alive.
Instead of concentrating on the words her sister had written, Brianne kept hearing Alex’s words. Kept seeing the serious look on his face. And something suddenly struck her about the visit, something that she hadn’t picked up on before.
Alex had relayed the news about Carter likely being alive, but he hadn’t seemed happy. He hadn’t seemed excited about the idea of reconnecting with his best friend.
The realization made her feel better. Because she herself wasn’t jumping up and down for joy—something she’d always expected she would do if she’d ever learned that Carter was alive.
Maybe it was all just too surreal to truly accept, given that three years had passed. And they really didn’t know for sure. What point was there in getting all excited, only to learn that this was all a mistake?
Of course both she and Alex were guarded. It only made sense that they keep an emotional guard up until they learned the truth.
“Lord, help me deal with this,” Brianne whispered. “If Carter’s alive, help me truly deal with all of what’s to come.”
You could want something so badly, yet when it happened you were unprepared for it.
Brianne lowered the manuscript pages. That was also it, she realized. Not just the uncertainty of not knowing if Alex was right about having seen Carter, but the reality that she was unprepared for the unexpected news Alex had delivered—no matter how much she had wished for it. In the early months or even after the first year, had Alex told her that he suspected Carter was alive, she would have been elated. Now, with the amount of time that had passed, there was so much to consider in the event that Carter had somehow escaped death. Because she was not foolish enough to believe that she was just going to pick up the pieces with him and everything would easily go back to the way it was.
She looked at her bedside phone, then at the card Alex had given her that rested on the table beside the phone. She wanted to call Alex now, to confide in him her fears. To talk candidly about the ambiguity she was feeling. She sensed that Alex would tell her that he had his own reservations about how all of this would play out.
Of course, it was different for him. He had been Carter’s friend. That was different than being a lover. He could easily pick up and continue as Carter’s friend in a way she wasn’t sure she would be able to easily continue on as the special woman in his life.
She picked up the card, stared at the phone number. And then she lifted the receiver.
But just as quickly she returned the receiver to its cradle. What was she going to say to him? Ask him all the same questions she had asked him earlier?
There was a part of her that simply wanted to hear his voice, to know that today hadn’t been a dream. But it was after nine. She didn’t want to disturb Alex.
After all, what if he weren’t alone?
An odd twinge came with the thought. In all the time she’d known him, she hadn’t known him to have a serious girlfriend. Carter had said that Alex was the consummate playboy. Gorgeous. Rich. He could have his pick of women, and, from what Carter had said, tended to like models.
Brianne was the exact opposite of his type. She was five-foot-five and voluptuous, with curves she had to work to keep in a nice proportion. Not tall and thin.
Not that it mattered. Why was she even thinking about that?
What mattered now was not getting Alex’s hopes up until she made a decision. When she called him, it would be to tell him whether or not she had decided to accompany him to Florida.
If you think going to Florida will help, then go. But if it’s going to be more painful than anything, then I think you shouldn’t do it.
Remembering Shayna’s words gave Brianne a sense of comfort. Her sister was right. She didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to do—especially if it was painful.
And Brianne didn’t know if she could handle seeing Carter if he didn’t remember her.
Worse, she didn’t know if she could handle seeing him if he were involved with someone else.
The next morning, Brianne’s ambiguity over what to do made her angry with herself. She had been sitting at her desk, researching possible causes for temporary amnesia via the internet, and now pushed her chair back and stood. Why was she afraid to deal with a challenging situation? She had been ready to walk down the aisle with Carter, and in her vows she would have promised to be there for her husband in good times and bad. Sure, they hadn’t actually gotten married—because fate had intervened. What would she have done if she’d been married to Carter and then he’d disappeared? Bailed on him when he needed help?
Brianne made her way downstairs. She needed coffee. If Carter is alive, how can I not go to him? she asked herself as she descended the steps. No matter how hard it might be, how can I not help him get back to his former self?
Brianne set the Irish cream-flavored coffee to brew, then went back to her bedroom. There she reached for a stuffed teddy bear on her dresser, one she’d had from childhood. She held the bear close to her chest, drawing comfort from her childhood toy. Carter had always teased her for still having a teddy bear she turned to for comfort, but old habits die hard.
Her heart rate accelerated. Was it possible that Carter truly was alive?
The thought was overwhelming. And she needed to talk to someone about it. There was one only one person who understood what she was going through because he himself had experienced it—and that was Alex.
Brianne moved to her night table and lifted the card he’d given her. Then she plopped down on her bed and lifted the receiver.
She dialed the cell number, which rang four times before going to voice mail. Only then did she consider that at only ten minutes after eight, Alex might still be in bed.
Brianne hung up, not wanting to leave a message.
She was surprised when, not more than ten minutes later, the phone rang in the kitchen—and the caller ID showed Alex’s number.
Chapter 4
“Hello?” Brianne said.
“You called me?” came the deep reply.
She’d already known it was Alex calling her, and yet her stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice. Obviously she was anxious over everything.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“I’ve been up since six-thirty. I went to the gym, then came home and was in the shower when you called.”
Wow. Talk about dedication. Not that she was surprised. His body was still amazing.
“Oh. Well, that’s good then.”
“Have you made a decision?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I wanted to talk more than anything else.”
“What’s on your mind?”
She hesitated. “Do you feel…”
“Feel what?”
Brianne suddenly wasn’t sure how to pose the question.
“Brianne?” Alex prompted.
“Ambiguous,” she said, forcing the word from her throat. “A little uncertain about everything?”
“Of course I do,” Alex said. “Brianne, I know this isn’t going to be easy.”
“It’s just…I want to be there for Carter. If I were the one lost out there somewhere, I’d want him to try to find me. And yet…”
On the other end of the line, Alex’s breath caught in his chest. “Yet your feelings aren’t the same?” he suggested.
A few seconds passed—seconds in which Alex didn’t breath. Then Brianne said the words that burst his bubble of hope.
“No, it’s not that my feelings have changed. It’s that I’m scared.”
Alex was angry with himself. Angry that even for a smidgen of a second he had entertained the idea that Brianne was over Carter. A full year after Carter’s disappearance, Brianne had been hanging on to the hope that he would return. Three years later, she was still single. Obviously she was still in love with him—even if he was unworthy of that love.
“I know you’re scared,” Alex said. “I am, too. I mean, we don’t know what we’re dealing with.”
“Exactly,” Brianne said softly. “Maybe the unknown is better.”
“Really?” Alex asked.
“No. Not really.” Brianne blew out a huff of air. “Those are my nerves talking.”
“You want to get together for breakfast or something?”
Alex suggested. “I’ve got to be at the store at ten, but we can meet quickly if you want.”
“No, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“You’re not disturbing me.”
“It’s just…I think I need a bit more time to decide what I’m going to do.”
“And you don’t want me pressuring you until you’ve made your decision.”
“No, no. It’s not that.” Alex heard a sigh. “You must think me crazy.”
“Brianne, I’m the one who showed up at your door after us not talking for two years, and then I dropped a bombshell. Needing time to think things over is not crazy.”
“Thank you,” she said. And then, “I’m going to get something to eat myself. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Sure.” Alex spoke calmly. But as he replaced the receiver, anxiety gripped his gut.
He needed Brianne to go with him to Florida.
It was the only way.
Brianne hadn’t planned on it, but she left her house two hours before she was scheduled to go to work and drove to Outdoor Gear, located in downtown Buffalo on Broadway. The store was close to the 33 Expressway, which would lead her right to the mall.
She had made her decision. If the amount of time she’d spent thinking about Carter since last night was any indication, she wouldn’t be at peace until she knew one way or another.
Still, as Brianne approached the store, she had a sense of unease. But she knew the unease wouldn’t dissipate by ignoring the situation.
Brianne slowed and signaled her intent to turn left. She looked out her driver’s-side window at the storefront for Outdoor Gear. In three years, she had not come to the sporting goods store that Carter and Alex had bought and run together. She hadn’t been able to, knowing that Carter would likely never make another appearance here.
So much had changed in twenty-four hours.
Just as it had changed in an instant three years earlier.
She turned left into the small parking lot, her pulse picking up speed as she parked her car beside Alex’s Mercedes. In a flash, she remembered Carter’s sleek, 7-series navy blue BMW that used to always be parked back here. Carter and Alex had enjoyed some good-humored bantering over which luxury car was truly the top of the line. Alex believed, hands down, that Mercedes made a better car. Carter argued that Mercedes were for old people and that BMWs were the perfect car for a hip, young male.
Brianne actually smiled as she remembered their ribbing and how they’d often gotten her involved to solve the dispute. Brianne had always sided with her man—though she’d secretly preferred the look of the Mercedes.
The happy memory came and went quickly as she exited her Ford Focus and walked to the store’s entrance. She felt oddly nervous. But why should she feel nervous? So what if she hadn’t been here in years?
It was like leaving a school and going back to visit. It always felt a little weird. Like you didn’t quite belong.
Brianne pulled open the front door, and the door chimes sang. There were a few customers in the store, and Alex was currently speaking with a man near the hockey equipment.
He saw her, and for the briefest of moments their eyes held. Then Brianne jerked her gaze away.
She was suddenly remembering the first time she’d entered this store four and a half years ago. It had been her goal at the time to get into better shape, to begin an exercise routine that consisted of walking and biking.
Alex had been the first one to catch her eye. And he’d smiled, bright and warm. But then Carter had appeared from somewhere off to her right, approaching her before Alex could.
And the rest was history.
Brianne glanced in Alex’s direction again. As though he sensed her gaze, he looked at her.
Brianne’s stomach fluttered, surprising her.
Obviously she had not just felt a zap of attraction for Alex.
It was remembering the first time she’d been in this store and had met Carter. The memory of that day was playing havoc with her emotions.
She perused the store as if she were shopping for something, and when Alex was finally free, he came toward her.
“Hey, Brianne.”
“I’ll do it,” she began without preamble. “I’ll work with you to help find Carter.”
Alex hesitated a moment, then said, “If you need more time to make your decision—”
“I don’t need more time,” Brianne interjected. “It was the only decision I could make. Because if Carter’s alive, he’s obviously suffered some trauma.” She paused. “We were engaged. I was months away from marrying him. About to take vows to love him and be there for him forever. So I…I have to be there for him now.”
“I’m glad,” Alex said.
Brianne noticed—not for the first time—just how attractive he was. At six foot four, she had always loved his height. She wondered if he were still single—if Carter’s disappearance had him stuck in the past, unable to move forward as she had been.
“So,” she began, and sighed. “What do we do next?”
“I say we head to Daytona and hit the ground running. It makes sense to head to the place where I saw him.”
“But he could be anywhere now. He could have been visiting Daytona for the event.”
“True,” Alex acknowledged. “But it seems like the best place to start. We can hit the racing circuit. We can also bring pics of Carter and ask if Dean knows him by another name.”
Brianne nodded. “Okay.”
“I think the sooner we leave, the better.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. I’ll have to talk to my district manager, clear the time off with her.”
“Oh,” Alex said, his tone making it clear he hadn’t considered her work might be an issue. “So you might not be able to go—”
“I don’t anticipate a problem,” Brianne said. “My manager and I get along well. I head in to work shortly, so I’ll talk to her then. How long do you think we’ll need to be gone?”
“Hard to say. A few days. Maybe a week.”
“A week?”
“I don’t imagine it’ll take longer than that. But what if we get a lead that takes us to another part of the country?”
“Oh.” Brianne frowned. “I didn’t consider that.”
“I’ll cover all of your expenses,” Alex said. “Your airfare, hotel. And if losing the time from work is going to be a financial burden, I can help you out there, too. In fact, consider it done.”
“You don’t need to do that,” Brianne said.
“Yeah, I do. I’m the one dragging you into this with me. Besides, business is going well.”
Brianne didn’t doubt that. Glancing around the store, she could see that it had been recently renovated. “So you opened a store in Phoenix?”
“Yep.”
“Business is going well there?”
Alex nodded. “Yeah. The store’s bigger than this one, and it’s been busy ever since I opened it.”
“How many stores do you have now?”
“Six and counting,” Alex answered. “I’ve even had an offer to open a store abroad.”
“Abroad. Wow. Where?”
“In Italy.”
So life had been good for him since Carter had disappeared. Brianne didn’t know why that surprised her. Life had to go on for those Carter had left behind.
“When do you think you’ll be able to get the time off work?” Alex asked. “Ideally, I’d like to leave as soon as possible.”
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Kayla Perrin
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Three years ago Brianne Kenyon suffered the unthinkable: her fiancé disappeared while hiking the Rocky Mountains, never to be seen again.Heartbroken beneath an avalanche of grief, Brianne′s not sure what her path holds. But just when she starts to regain her foothold on life, sexy Alex Thorpe returns to town—and her pain reaches its peak. But so does her desire.Alex Thorpe knows why beautiful Brianne doesn′t want to have anything to do with him—and he doesn′t blame her. After all, he was her former fiancé′s best friend and hiking partner.But Alex can′t fight the depths of his passion. . . even when earth-shattering news threatens their trail to romance. Alex is determined to show Brianne that he, and their love, was meant to be the high point of her life.