Lullaby for Two / Child's Play: Lullaby for Two
Cindi Myers
Karen Rose Smith
Lullaby for Two Karen Rose Smith Vince would do anything for the orphaned baby left in his care. Even ask for the help of Tessa – his ex-wife! As they cared for the child together, memories of their love returned. Could this little baby give them a second chance?Child’s PlayCindi MyersDiscovering she is pregnant is one of the happiest moments of architect Diana’s life. But the gorgeous single dad who commissions her new project makes her feel that something might be missing. Is head teacher Jason ready for romance – and can Diana teach him about love?
Excerpt
LULLABY FOR TWO
How could Vince promise Tessa more than “now”?
How could he consider being the husband she needed when he’d failed at it once before? When he’d never had a role model to see how it should be done? Maybe that’s what had kept him from staying twenty years ago. Maybe that’s what kept him from moving them forward now. Tessa deserved someone who would put her first, romance her, court her, be steadfast and committed. He didn’t know if he was capable of that.
For now he was committed to Sean, and that’s all he knew.
CHILD’S PLAY
“You have an interesting effect on me.”
“Oh?” Diana held her head up, refusing to give in to the trembling nervousness that had overtaken her with Jason’s words. “What effect is that?”
“When I’m with you, I forget all about anything else. You make me forget myself.”
“That’s interesting. When I’m with you, I’m even more aware of myself than usual.” Aware of the way her body responded to his, of the sensual, sexual woman underneath the maternity clothes and sensible shoes.
She was aware of him, too – of the subtle, woodsy
scent of his aftershave and of the tiny white scar in the left corner of his upper lip. She noticed the way his right eyebrow quirked upwards whenever he smiled and the way the soft white cotton of his cuffs contrasted with the golden tan of his skin.
She was very aware of being drawn to him, of her breath quickening as he stood so close to her, of leaning towards him, lips parted.
Their eyes met, and she saw her own desire reflected. He put a hand on her arm, though whether to steady himself or to draw her close, she couldn’t say. He inclined his head slightly and she waited, not daring to breathe.
Lullaby for Two
by
Karen Rose Smith
Child’s Play
by
Cindi Myers
MILLS & BOON®
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/)
Lullaby for Two
by
Karen Rose Smith
Karen Rose Smith has seen more than sixty novels published since 1991. Living in Pennsylvania with her husband – who was her college sweetheart – and their two cats, she has been writing full-time since the start of her career. She enjoys researching and visiting the West and Southwest where this series of books is set. Readers can receive updates on Karen’s latest releases and write to her through her website at www.karenrosesmith.com, or at PO Box 1545, Hanover, PA 17331, USA.
To my mother, Romaine Arcuri Cacciola, my mother-in-law, Rita Smith, and my husband’s cousin DeSales Sterner – my baby experts. Mom and Reet – I miss you. Sis – my son’s godmother and my special friend – thanks for always being there.
Chapter One
Vince Rossi stood in shock in front of the receptionist’s sliding-glass window.
He’d known he’d probably have to deal with his past at some point. But reading the third name on the placard beside the window, he knew that karma was ready to bite him in the butt today.
He studied the letters of Dr. Tessa McGuire’s name as if somehow they’d change before his eyes. But they didn’t. She was one of the pediatricians in this practice and he’d have to deal with it. He had a two-out-of-three chance of Sean’s chart not landing in her stack. Those weren’t bad odds.
The seven-month-old baby nestled in Vince’s arm gurgled and stared up at him with sparkling blue eyes. Vince’s heart melted just as it had from the moment he’d first held the little boy. Was it possible he’d become Sean’s legal guardian only two and a half months ago? Only a week ago he’d returned to his hometown of Sagebrush, outside of Lubbock, Texas, in an attempt to find Sean the medical attention he needed, as well as put them both on the pathway to a new life. Vince had been impressed by the Family Tree Health Center where this pediatric practice as well as obstetrical, counseling, ophthalmological and a few other specialty practices were located.
The receptionist had finished her call and opened the glass window, staring at Vince expectantly.
“Sean Davidson’s the patient, but I’m his legal guardian—Vince Rossi. Our appointment is for eleven-thirty,” Vince said.
The woman checked off his name on the list in front of her. But before she could utter a word, the door to the waiting area opened.
Tessa McGuire appeared.
Her blond hair was still soft and wavy on her shoulders, her forget-me-not-blue eyes bright, her face mature in its beauty now. It had been twenty years since Vince had last seen her.
“Sean Davidson,” she called cheerily. Then her gaze fell on Vince, recognized him, and her whole body went perfectly still.
Vince knew there was no use pretending. No point skirting the issue. Too much was at stake for Sean.
He strode forward and stopped in front of her. “I didn’t know we’d be assigned to you. I’m Sean’s legal guardian. If you’ll have a problem treating him, I can find another doctor.”
Tessa had always been the perfect lady, the well-bred daughter of one of the richest ranchers in Sagebrush. She was pale now, as if the shock of seeing Vince had affected her physically. He knew the feeling. Acid burned in his gut.
Sean wriggled in his arms and cooed, reminding Vince of why he was here. He repositioned the baby in his arm, careful of Sean’s injured shoulder.
Tessa was watching, missing nothing. Finally she spoke. “Treating Sean won’t be a problem. Please follow me.”
So polite. So proper. So ready to do what she thought was right.
She’d thought going home to her father was right…divorcing Vince was right…forgetting they’d ever been married was right.
He followed her, almost curious what the privacy of an examination room might reveal. His body was already warning him that twenty years hadn’t made a difference in his attraction to her. Tessa McGuire had always turned him on more quickly than any other woman. Apparently, that hadn’t changed.
Awkward silence settled over the small room.
Tessa was studying him as he mentally ticked off the differences she’d see. At thirty-eight, there were strands of gray in his black hair. A scar from an arrest-gone-bad marred his left jaw. After he’d left Sagebrush, Air Force conditioning had put muscles on his lean body. After that, a workout regimen had kept him conditioned as a homicide detective.
He gave them both a few seconds to absorb the shock of seeing each other again. Finally he asked, “Do you want Sean on the table?”
In this examination room, colorful cartoon characters walked and danced and played on the walls in artistically drawn murals. Sean was looking all around, fascinated by them.
In answer to Vince’s question, Tessa took a few steps forward and stopped. “I’ll take him.” She reached for his son.
Vince thought of Sean as his son even though he hadn’t formally adopted him yet. He was waiting until they settled into a permanent place.
Transferring Sean to Tessa seemed to have an electric effect on them both. As her hands slid around the baby, they brushed Vince’s chest. He caught a glimpse of startled awareness in Tessa’s eyes as she tucked Sean into her arms, ducked her head and carried the little boy to the table.
Sean didn’t seem to mind being held by her. He looked up at Tessa, waved his good arm and gurgled as if saying hello.
The expression on Tessa’s face was so tender, so caring that Vince suddenly understood she’d become a pediatrician because while she’d never bear children of her own, in this specialty she could take care of everyone’s kids.
As she settled Sean on the table, she asked, “How long have you been back in Sagebrush?”
“We drove in from Albuquerque last Monday.”
Her gaze lifted to meet his. Then she quickly glanced away, concentrated on his baby again, took Sean’s temperature with the ear thermometer, and offered him her finger—maybe to test his grip. After tickling his tummy, she warmed her stethoscope with her palm before slipping it under Sean’s T-shirt.
Vince took the opportunity to study Tessa again. Under her white coat decorated with cartoon characters, she wore a light blue, silky blouse and navy skirt. Her navy shoes had a small heel, just high enough to delineate the curves of her legs. She was as slender as she’d been as a teenager, as slender as she’d been before she’d gotten pregnant.
Vince veered away from thoughts and memories he’d tamped down for a very long time.
After she finished listening to Sean’s heart and lungs, she examined the rest of him, making a game of using the tongue depressor, gently looking into his ears with the otoscope, running her hands over his injured right shoulder and testing his range of motion.
Still concentrating on the baby, she told Vince, “I received Sean’s chart this morning. With his name different from yours…” She stopped. “I have to admit I skimmed the front of the form and just paid attention to the medical facts. If I’d studied it more carefully, I would have noticed your name, too.”
“Tessa, I meant it when I said I could go to another doctor.”
Now she looked him straight in the eye. “I don’t turn children away, Vince.”
Not even when you don’t want to be in the same room with their parents? He didn’t ask the question aloud.
“We might only be in Sagebrush until Sean’s shoulder problems are resolved,” he explained, thinking that would relieve any anxiety she might have about Sean being her patient.
“A shoulder injury like Sean’s is complex.” Again her gaze met his unswervingly. “We usually see brachial plexus injuries when a baby gets stuck during the birthing process. In this case, with a seat belt causing the shoulder injury, we have a similar situation. How did you hear about Dr. Rafferty?”
“Sean’s doctor in Albuquerque went to med school with him and said he’s top-notch. When I researched him on the Internet, I saw he specialized in these surgeries. So coming to Lubbock seemed to be the best decision I could make. I want the best for Sean.”
Although she hadn’t asked, he decided to give her a bit more personal information. Maybe then she’d share some of her own. “For the past thirteen years I’ve been a homicide detective with the Albuquerque P.D.”
Her gaze shot to his.
“After the Air Force, I wanted to do something that made a difference.” He paused and added, “I never imagined that when my partner and his wife designated me in their will to be their baby’s legal guardian, a car accident would take their lives and change mine.”
Tessa continued examining Sean as she absorbed that. “You’re a single dad?”
Tessa’s tone was distinctly removed. Was she just making conversation? Trying to find out about Sean’s situation? Or was her inquiry more personal than that?
“I’m not married. I never have been.” When Tessa’s eyes flashed a few silver sparks, he added, “I mean, except for us. Military service and then a police officer’s schedule were tough on relationships.”
After much soul-searching, Vince had realized he’d joined the Air Force to forget about Tessa…to wipe her pregnancy and their marriage out of his mind. After the Air Force, he’d focused on becoming a detective and had never looked back. It was still too painful.
However, now with Tessa listening to his every word, he knew he’d be looking back all the while he was in Sagebrush. Would she? He was too aware of her. Was she just as aware of him?
“Did you get a job with the Lubbock P.D.?” she asked nonchalantly, as if it didn’t matter.
That had been his intention, but then he’d found out about another position. “Do you remember Ryder Greystone?” Ryder had been one of their classmates in high school.
Tessa nodded.
“He’s with the Lubbock P.D. and I called him. He said sure, they could use me, but it turns out Sagebrush’s chief of police, Clinton Farmer, had a heart attack and took a leave of absence. The mayor was having a problem finding a temporary replacement. After recuperation from bypass surgery, Farmer intends to come back at the end of August. So I applied, had several long interviews over the phone and was appointed to the position.”
“You’re going to be chief of police in Sagebrush?” Her eyes were wide with her surprise.
“Don’t tell me you’re having trouble seeing me as a law-and-order kind of guy,” he joked. Maybe if they took a light touch, seeing each other again would be easier.
Tessa’s cheeks flushed. “Oh, it’s not that. I guess I thought you’d be living in Lubbock rather than Sagebrush. But if you’re chief of police—”
“I’m renting a one-story duplex on Whitehorse Road. What about you? Are you in Lubbock or living with your dad?” Walter McGuire would be in his late sixties now. Vince had seen a billboard advertising cutting horses from Arrowhead Ranch, so he guessed Tessa’s dad was still hard at work building up a legacy for her.
At the mention of her father, Tessa went quiet, readjusted Sean’s clothes so they were back in place, then scooped him up off the table. “I’m sharing a house in Sagebrush with two friends.”
Her tone seemed to say, Not that it’s any of your business. His mention of her father had put her on the defensive. He should have known better.
“Sean looks healthy, other than his shoulder, of course,” she assured Vince. “His chart says he has an appointment with Dr. Rafferty on June twelfth. If Dr. Rafferty believes surgery is not in order, then what are you going to do?”
“I’ll serve as chief of police until Farmer comes back, then maybe return to Albuquerque. Everything’s up in the air right now, Tessa. I’m just taking one day at a time.”
At the sound of her first name on his lips, her body seemed to stiffen, her shoulders becoming a little squarer. Then she was handing Sean over to Vince, this time very careful not to touch him. The awkwardness in accomplishing that emphasized the relationship they’d once had and the lack of even friendship between them now.
To cover her attempt to stay distant from him, if not his baby, Tessa asked, “So you’re exercising Sean’s arm every day?”
“Yes. And the woman I’ve hired to take care of him knows how to do it, too.”
Even as a teenager, Tessa had foregone perfume for more natural scents like fruity shampoos and lotions. Vince inhaled a hint of vanilla and strawberries that took him straight back to necking sessions with her in his beat-up pickup.
She crossed to the door and opened it. “Good luck with Dr. Rafferty. Make sure he sends me a report.” Her expression softened a little. “I know what a stress this must be…to be worrying about Sean.”
Their eyes locked and his heart pounded as he approached the doorway where she stood. Tessa pulled her gaze from his and touched Sean’s hand. The baby took hold of her finger and looked up at her with seven-month-old fascination.
Vince knew exactly how his son felt.
Tessa removed her finger from Sean’s fist. “Good luck, little one,” she murmured.
After Vince gave her a nod and a muttered, “Thanks,” he held Sean a little tighter and walked down the hall. How often had Tessa said those words before? How often had she looked at a baby and thought about her own? How often had she thought of him and blamed him for the hysterectomy she’d had no choice in having?
He might never know the answer. He and Tessa had been finished long ago. She obviously wanted to keep it that way.
Tessa hurried through the lobby of the Family Tree Health Center, hardly aware of the bright sunshine pouring in the plate-glass windows, barely noticing the photographs of children, moms and dads and families hung in casual to formal frames on the pale yellow walls. She was in a daze as she veered toward the coffee shop to the right of the main entrance, passed the bird-of-paradise potted plant and a ledge lined with pothos ivy.
Stopping to gain her focus again, she spotted the table where Emily Diaz and Francesca Talbot were sitting. She was late meeting them for lunch…late pulling herself together…late trying to push the image of Vince’s face out of her head…late trying not to remember the feel of baby Sean in her arms.
Vincent Rossi was back in Sagebrush and she was just going to have to deal with it.
Masterful at hiding what she didn’t want others to see, she’d found she could let her guard down with Emily and Francesca. The three of them not only lived in a refurbished Victorian together but had become best friends.
Francesca greeted her first, sleek chestnut hair slipping over her shoulder, her green eyes sparkling as she beckoned Tessa toward their table. A neonatologist, Francesca had her office on the second floor of the center. She had office hours all day Monday, but spent most of her time at the hospital with her tiny patients.
Emily Diaz’s big brown eyes were already studying Tessa as she approached the table. Emily had pulled her curly black hair back from her face and fastened it with a navy scrunchie. Wearing Dr. Madison’s staff smock—Emily was his obstetrical nurse—she could fade into the background if she wanted to and usually did want to. Tessa still didn’t know why. Emily had only lived with her and Francesca for five months, but the empathetic way she had of listening had endeared her to both of them. Although Tessa realized they didn’t know her whole story yet, she didn’t push. Emily would tell them in time.
“We ordered the grilled-chicken salad for you and the peach iced tea. Is that okay?” Francesca asked.
They were usually short on time and both Emily and Francesca knew Tessa always ordered the same lunch.
“That’s fine,” she assured her with a distracted wave of her hand, taking her seat and dropping her purse to the floor.
“Rough morning?” Francesca asked.
Was it so obvious? Was she pale? Did the strain show? Had Vince realized how he had affected her?
Slipping the lemon slice off the side of her water glass, she squeezed it then dropped it in. After taking a few sips, she made sure that when she breathed in and then out it was deep and even.
“What happened?” Emily asked her, her concern obvious. “Problems with a patient?”
Tessa never discussed specifics about her patients and both women knew that. They were bound by the same terms of confidentiality. But they could talk in general terms.
“No, not a patient,” Tessa replied quietly.
Her friends waited expectantly.
Tessa glanced around and saw that at their corner table they had relative privacy. “A ghost from my past walked into my office today.” That was all she could say. Although Vince wasn’t her patient, his son, Sean, was.
After exchanging a look with Emily, Francesca asked, “Not Vince Rossi?”
Because Tessa had lived with Francesca since her return to Sagebrush from California two years ago, the neonatologist had known Tessa’s story. On the other hand, Emily, who had lived in Corpus Christi all of her life until her recent move to Sagebrush, only knew Tessa had had a hysterectomy, not the whole story behind it. It wasn’t that Tessa hadn’t wanted to confide in Emily, she just hadn’t wanted to dredge it all up again. The hysterectomy had affected her life and still affected it now. She’d discussed it with her two friends when she’d decided to apply to become an adoptive parent, but not why or how it had happened.
“Who’s Vince Rossi?” Emily asked.
Tessa dropped her chin into her hands, rubbed her face, pushed back her hair and realized it was time Emily knew her history, too. Maybe excavating the hurt would remind her to stay away from Vince.
Of course she’d stay away from Vince! Once his little boy’s surgery was over, he’d be gone. That was Vince. He left.
After taking another sip of water, Tessa explained, “Vince and I met in high school.” Saying those words brought it all back…back to that morning in the library during her senior year when she’d been sitting in a far corner out of the way and hadn’t been able to keep her tears from falling.
She hadn’t known Vince well. He’d taken vo-tech courses and she’d taken academic preparation. She’d attended a private girls’ school until ninth grade, then had made a deal with her father. She’d go to any college he chose, if he’d let her attend public high school.
So there she was, tears falling down her face, when a deep voice at her side asked, “Are you okay?”
Vince Rossi was everything she shouldn’t have been attracted to, with his dark, handsome looks and brooding gray eyes, his wrong-side-of-the-tracks attitude. With few flirting skills and little experience, she’d been afraid to get close to him.
“I’m fine,” she’d told him, but her tears stated a different story.
He sat down beside her. “You don’t look fine.”
Back then she didn’t have close friends because her father had still controlled her life, her comings and goings and who she could bring to the house. Female classmates cut her out of their cliques. She was an outsider who couldn’t break into groups with friendships established since grade school. A couple of girls who did befriend her only tried because of her father’s wealth and what they could enjoy because of it. It hadn’t taken her long to catch on.
So because of all that, because she felt alone much of the time, she’d told Vince the truth. “We had to put my dog to sleep. He was my best friend and he had a stroke. I miss him so much.”
Vince’s expression had reflected kindness and her own sadness. “I know what it’s like to miss someone. My mom left when I was a kid.”
“My mom died when I was born,” she’d replied softly.
They’d gazed into each other’s eyes, and she’d fallen in love with Vincent Rossi right then and there.
“Tessa?” Francesca called her name, bringing her back to the present.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I—” She took a breath and moved her fork. “Vince and I connected. We more than connected.” She sighed. “Then I got pregnant that April. We waited until after graduation to tell my dad. Vince insisted on marrying me, so my dad disowned me.”
“You can’t be serious!” Emily knew Tessa and her dad were close now.
“Oh, I’m very serious. Vince insisted on doing the right thing and married me. He got a job as a roofer during the day and worked in a saddlemaker’s shop at night. I hardly saw him. I was pretty sick throughout my pregnancy. I worked at Thelma’s Dress Shop. When I couldn’t be on the sales floor, I helped her with bookkeeping.”
“Thelma’s? Over on Tumbleweed? It’s been there that long?” Emily asked.
Francesca answered her. “Thelma’s daughter runs it now. But Thelma still comes in a few days a week.”
“Go on,” Emily encouraged Tessa. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Sometimes I forget you haven’t lived here all your life,” Tessa admitted. She was actually glad for Emily’s interruption because what came next was the difficult part.
Francesca reached across the table and patted Tessa’s hand. “It might be good to talk about it. You never do.”
No, she never did…because she just wanted to forget. “I was twenty-six weeks pregnant when I went into labor. I had a placenta accreta. The placenta pulled a hole in my uterus and I hemorrhaged. We lost the baby and I had to have a hysterectomy.”
Emily went very quiet. She brought her hands together in her lap, looked down at them and then returned her gaze to Tessa’s. “I’m so very sorry, Tessa. That would be devastating for any woman. As a teenager, I can’t even imagine what that did to you.”
“When my father heard what happened, he blamed Vince and the life we were living. We had a walk-up apartment and the bare necessities. Everything we earned went for expenses and the baby. The night I went into labor, I collapsed and couldn’t get to the phone. Our landlady found me and called the ambulance. I needed Vince but he wasn’t there…he was working. When I was released, I made the choice to go home with Dad rather than back to our apartment. I didn’t want to be a burden on Vince. I didn’t know if he married me because he had to, or because he thought we were meant to be together, like I did.”
She stopped to take a much-needed pause, then went on. “Vince…Vince came to my dad’s. He told me the pregnancy and our marriage was a mistake, that we’d been too young. He knew I wanted to be a doctor and he said that’s what I should be. He was going to join the Air Force, maybe make a career of it like his uncle had. His uncle was very different from his dad. His dad drank and couldn’t hold a job, and I think Vince just needed to prove he was different, that he could succeed at something. He didn’t ask me what I wanted. I could see he wasn’t willing to fight for what we had.”
“You were both grieving. You’d lost a child,” Emily sympathized.
“A baby boy,” Tessa murmured, her own voice catching. Then she regained her composure. “I know now no one should make major decisions about their life under those circumstances. But we did. He left, and I went to Stanford. Less than a year later I heard he was seeing someone. So I knew our relationship hadn’t meant as much to him as it had to me. Even though we’d broken up, even though we’d gotten a divorce, I still felt betrayed.”
“So what happened today?” Francesca prompted. “Why was he at your office? He’s moved back and he has children?”
“I can’t say. You know that. If you find out about Vince from someone else, that’s fine. But I can’t tell you anything more.”
Francesca and Emily exchanged another of those looks, and Tessa knew what that meant. Sagebrush was a small town. They’d soon know exactly why Vincent Rossi had returned.
The waitress appeared, carrying a tray with their lunches. Tessa had no appetite whatsoever. However, she was determined that Vince Rossi’s return would not affect her life. He would not turn her world upside down a second time.
Vince entered Sagebrush High School ten days later, cell phone to his ear. “Is everything okay?” he asked the woman he’d hired to take care of Sean.
“Just fine, Mr. Rossi. Sean ate all of his supper. I’m going to give him a bath and put him to bed. Or do you want me to keep him up until you come home?”
Vince had interviewed three women to watch Sean during his working hours. He’d liked Mrs. Zappa the best. She was a widow, a retired teacher who was available whenever he might need her and she loved kids. Almost everyone in town knew her and they’d all given her good references. So he shouldn’t worry when he was away from Sean. But he’d been caring for the little boy day and night, all by himself, since the beginning of March. It was hard to let go.
“No, don’t keep him up,” he directed her. “He’ll just get cranky. If he wakes up later, I’ll read him a story and then put him down again. I should be home by nine…ten at the latest. The parent meeting will probably last about a half hour, and then there will be questions and answers afterward.”
He knew Tessa was going to be at the meeting, too. At least this time he’d be prepared to see her. This time he was ready.
That’s what he told himself.
Until he walked into the principal’s office and saw her. She was standing at the counter where visitors signed in and out, where students made their needs and wants known. She was wearing a raspberry-colored suit with a cream blouse and looked like ten million bucks.
She must have heard him come in because she turned, and their gazes collided. “Vince,” she said in acknowledgment, her soft voice running up his spine like a sensual finger. “I thought you might send one of your officers to take care of this.”
Maybe she was hoping he’d send one of his officers to speak. Then she wouldn’t have to see him. “I thought tonight was too important to skip. I don’t think parents realize exactly what dangers crop up around the prom and the summer holidays. They need to know what to do to talk to their kids and protect them.”
Tessa gave him a long, studying assessment. “I agree. The principal said you were going to talk first. Do you have a prepared presentation?”
He grinned at her. “Nope. I’m going to wing it.” Then he shrugged. “I’ve done this before about a thousand times. It’s all in my head.”
She lifted her zippered portfolio. “It’s all in my notes.”
He laughed. That was Tessa, always organized and prepared. He took a few steps closer to her and his laugh faded. “Are you going to cover alcohol and drugs?”
She didn’t step back, just nodded.
Her blond brows were so delicately shaped. Her fringe of lashes was darker than her hair. Her blue eyes had always been guileless. He could smell vanilla and strawberries again, and he saw the pulse at her neck beating.
“Are you nervous about this?” he asked.
“The presentation? Or giving the presentation with you?”
“Either. Both.”
“I’m not seventeen anymore. I don’t get nervous as easily.”
The bravado was new, as was her confidence level. But so much was the same.
He gently placed a finger on the pulse point of her neck and could feel exactly how fast her heart was beating. “You’re nervous about something,” he insisted.
She could have slapped his hand away, which was sort of what he expected. She definitely could have backed away. But she just stood there, gazing into his eyes, and he realized that was worse than shutting him out.
Because he saw the pain he’d caused Tessa…and now he knew she’d never forgive him.
Chapter Two
“I see the two of you have met,” said Joe Mercer, the principal of Sagebrush High School, to Tessa and Vince as he exited his private office.
Tessa didn’t speak. She still felt breathless and disconcerted from Vince’s touch.
“We went to school here together,” Vince filled in when the silence grew awkward.
Joe, a handsome man in his midforties and prematurely gray, asked Tessa, “Is the school the same as you remembered it?”
Walking into Sagebrush High brought back too many memories as far as she was concerned. Although she’d convinced her father to let her attend the public high school, she’d felt alone and very much the outsider here—until Vince had dropped into her life. “It’s the same. Though the halls have a new coat of paint and the auditorium was added on since I…we…came to school here.”
As she glanced at Vince, she saw his eyes had turned a stormy gray. Was he remembering the kisses they’d shared behind locker doors? The quick hugs before a test? The afterschool rendezvous in his pickup truck in the parking lot? She might not want those memories to still be intact, but in spite of her best effort to tame or banish them, they were. The deepening of lines on Vince’s brow told her he couldn’t banish them, either.
She purposefully glanced at her watch. “I suppose the parents will be gathering. Are we speaking to them in the auditorium?”
“Unfortunately we won’t have enough parents here to need the auditorium,” Joe replied. “They think they know their kids so most don’t attend these meetings. We’re gathering in the library.”
As the principal motioned for Tessa to precede him into the hall, Vince asked him, “You publicized this?”
“Absolutely. Flyers went home with the kids. We posted it on our Web site. There was even a notice in the paper.”
Vince had come up beside Tessa, his long-legged stride easily taking him ahead of her. When he realized it, he slowed.
Just looking at him could still make her giddy. At eighteen, he’d been most girls’ fantasy date, with his good looks, sexy beard stubble and broad shoulders that could make a girl feel safe. At thirty-eight, he was so much more. The lines etched around his eyes had come from maturity and experience. She guessed his strong jaw still carried a shadowed beard line after five o’clock. But tonight he was clean-shaven, ready for his part of the program.
She tried not to look too hard or see too much, but in spite of herself, she noticed that tonight he wore a denim blazer, white oxford shirt and black jeans, a broad-rimmed cowboy hat low over his eyes. He’d obviously kept in shape. She’d been able to tell that from the muscles evident under his polo shirt that day in her office. She’d tried to ignore the changes in his body as he’d handed Sean to her…as he’d loomed in the room while she’d examined his son.
His son.
“How is Sean adjusting to the move?” she asked, as their footsteps echoed in the hall and they drew closer to the library.
“Probably better than I am,” Vince admitted with a rueful smile.
She’d be safer not commenting on Vince’s adjustment. “If Sean’s sleeping, eating well and seems happy, then he’s adjusting.”
“Sometimes he wakes up around 2:00 a.m. and wants to play. I walk him for a while and talk to him, then he settles down again.”
She didn’t know why she was having such a difficult time imagining Vince with the baby, accepting full care of him. Maybe because while she was pregnant he simply hadn’t been around much and she’d wished he had been.
As they entered the library, Tessa noticed that most of the rectangular tables for eight were filled, and about a hundred parents had gathered.
Joe led them to the circulation desk. A podium was positioned in front of it with two chairs by its side.
“I didn’t want this to be too formal,” he told them in a low voice. “If we can keep the meeting more conversational, give parents a chance to ask questions and not feel a barrier between you and them, that would be best. Chief Rossi, after my opening remarks I’ll introduce you. Is there anything I need to set up for you? A bit of a background?”
“I’ll include my background when I talk to them,” Vince assured the principal.
“The same for you, Dr. McGuire?” Joe asked.
She nodded, eager to hear what Vince had to say. In spite of herself she was curious about where he’d been and what he’d done over the past twenty years. Not that he would go into all of that publicly. But she might get a hint.
She was always all nerves before she gave a presentation. She was much better one-on-one, or in a small group. But she did it as a challenge, as she did everything. If she was afraid of something, she knew she had to walk straight toward it and face it. Was that how Vince ran his life, too?
She sensed a confidence about him that had been lacking when he was a teenager. At eighteen he’d stood tall and said what he thought more because of defiance than confidence.
Now, however, he walked up to the podium and gave the group a relaxed smile. After he swiped off his Stetson, he laid it on the counter behind him and ran a hand through his thick black hair.
“I’m Vince Rossi, chief of police of the Sagebrush P.D.” He nodded to the group. “It’s good to see all of you here. I know you’re wondering what I can tell you about your sons and daughters. Maybe nothing. Maybe something. Maybe my experience in law enforcement will tell you the pitfalls available to teenagers in a small town, especially when drugs, alcohol and vehicles are involved. If you listen to what I have to say, I promise to answer each and every one of your questions, even if I’m here all night.”
Whether Vince had had psychological training in the method he used to approach the group, Tessa didn’t know. But what he’d said had worked. All gazes were on him. They were attentive, thanks to the promise of individual attention if they needed it. Vince already held them in the palm of his hand.
Unbidden, she thought about his palm. How it had touched her in pleasure and gentleness and teasing. Taking a deep breath, she looked down at the portfolio on her lap rather than at Vince. She’d be better off concentrating on his words than on him.
Tessa’s approach, when it was her turn, was altogether different from Vince’s. She spoke as a friend of the family, warning of signs of changes in their children’s personalities, explaining that no child was immune from peer pressure and the need for friends’ approval. After she finished, she assured them she’d also be available to speak to any parent who had concerns.
During the next hour both she and Vince answered questions, gave advice, but mostly listened.
When only a dozen or so parents remained, talking among themselves in small groups, Vince crossed to her. “I’m going to have to face their concerns in another thirteen or fourteen years.” He shook his head. “That makes me want to bury my head in the sand.”
When they’d separated, Vince had buried his head in the sand where she was concerned…where their marriage was concerned. He hadn’t wanted to see how much she loved him…how much she wanted their marriage to work…how sad she was because of the loss of their child. It had been easier for him to walk away.
All these years she’d put the past in a compartment that she’d shut tight. She couldn’t seem to do that tonight, but she was giving it her best shot. She reminded herself just to treat this evening as a professional, not as Vince’s ex-wife. “Drugs and alcohol don’t have to be a rite of passage.”
After their gazes met for a few long moments, Vince remarked, “It’s a shame you’re a pediatrician.”
“Why?”
“Because these parents would all put their kids in your care if you didn’t just treat babies. How long have you been back here?”
“Two years. Since Family Tree opened.”
Suddenly, one of the men who appeared to be a few years older than Vince broke away from another couple and approached Tessa. “Dr. McGuire, I’m Tim Daltry. I know your dad pretty well. He’s letting my son, Ray, work at the ranch after school and weekends to make money for college. Just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for that. He’s paying Ray real good and it’s going to make a difference.”
Tessa had always admired her father’s generosity. He wasn’t public about it, but he did things like this when he could. “If Dad hired your son, I’m sure Ray’s giving him a good day’s work for what he’s getting.”
Always aware of Vince even when she didn’t want to be, she noticed his mouth had gone tight at the mention of her father. She wondered just how deep his resentment ran. She’d had to let go of hers. Everything her father had done had stemmed from his love for her. And although at the time she hadn’t agreed with any of it, her father in essence had proved himself right—because Vince had left. He’d abandoned her to find a life that suited him better.
“Well, I just wanted to introduce myself,” Daltry said. “Give your dad my regards.” His gaze went to Vince. “You gave us a lot to think about. I can’t quite see Chief Farmer ever speaking to a group like this.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Vince replied casually. “But Chief Farmer is planning to come back as soon as he’s recovered. If you want to do more programs like this, you could make the suggestion.”
“Maybe I will. Rumor has it you were a homicide detective in Albuquerque. Is that true?”
“Sure is.”
“What made you come to a town like Sagebrush?”
Tessa could see Daltry was wondering if Vince had gotten into trouble somehow, or been demoted, or been kicked off the force. Everyone liked meaty gossip. She and Vince had been the butt of it twenty years ago. But that had been a long time ago. Some people might remember, others might not. Since she’d returned to Sagebrush, residents here had respected her privacy. But now that Vince was back…
To her surprise, Vince didn’t clam up but was completely forthright with Daltry. “My life changed. I’m a father now, and a homicide detective’s life wasn’t conducive to bringing up a child.”
“But if you’re only here for a few months…” Daltry trailed off.
“I’m just concentrating on what I have to do here, then I’ll look past that.”
It was a smooth answer and one that didn’t tell Tessa anything. Would Vince consider staying in the area? Would he go back to Albuquerque or on to somewhere new? She could easily see that happening.
Mr. Daltry bid them both good-night and followed a few other parents out of the library.
Vince looked over at the principal, who was talking to one lingering parent. Then he checked his watch. “I know it’s getting late and we’ll both be up early, but how would you like to grab a cup of coffee at the diner?”
She couldn’t read his expression or tell anything from his eyes, so she decided to just honestly ask, “Why?”
After studying her for a long moment, he replied, “Because there’s ice between us and I’d like to chip at it a little.”
He was right. She’d thought she’d put the past in the past. But seeing Vince again stirred up old feelings—feelings she’d thought she’d dealt with, feelings that had no place in her life now. If he was going to be in Sagebrush and she was going to run into him, she didn’t want those feelings disrupting her existence. Sure, she had walls up. She’d admit that. But a tête-à-tête with Vince? Sitting across the table from him, gazing into those steel-gray eyes…
Would that make matters better or worse?
For better or worse, for richer or poorer…
Those vows had meant nothing to him. But she didn’t want to hate him. She didn’t want to resent him. She didn’t want to be bitter about what had happened back then. She didn’t want a squall of memories to assault her just from standing close to him.
Closure was what she needed. Facing what she didn’t want to face might do the trick.
“I have time for a cup of…tea,” she substituted. They both used to like rich, dark coffee—decaf for her after she was pregnant—no sugar, no cream. Especially in the morning after making love…
She had shut down memories for years. But tonight she might have to let them rise to the surface so she could move on…so she could prove to herself she was over Vince Rossi for good.
The end-of-May night was wonderfully clear with a bright half-moon and thousands of stars twinkling as Tessa walked beside Vince to the diner. So many stars, so many wishes. She’d stopped wishing on stars when she was eighteen and her dreams had crashed.
Awkward silence wrapped around them with neither of them knowing what to say.
“So much for ice breaking,” Vince said wryly as they approached the diner with its flashing neon sign announcing to the world that the Yellow Rose Diner was open.
“We used to know each other, Vince. We don’t anymore. That’s why it’s hard to talk.”
He stopped before the glass door and didn’t attempt to pull it open. “Are you telling me a former homicide detective and a doctor have nothing in common? We’re people, Tessa. If you pretend I’m a stranger you met at a party, I’ll bet then you’d have something to say.”
“Meaning?” She could feel herself bristling and knew they were off to a difficult start.
Vince blew out a breath. “Meaning you handled that crowd—most of them strangers—tonight like a pro. You didn’t have difficulty speaking to anyone who approached you. So why is it so hard to have a conversation with me?”
There were a thousand answers in her head, beginning with because you left, because you abandoned me, because you didn’t stand up to my father, because you thought I wasn’t worth a fight. But silence seemed to be her best recourse and she stuck to it.
If he’d continued to challenge her, they might have walked away from each other right then and there. But instead of being oppositional, he murmured gently, “Tessa.”
The sound of her name in just that way twisted her heart. She confided, “I guess maybe there’s too much to say and I’m afraid the wrong thing will spill out. I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret. And let’s face it, we never just talked about the weather.”
Now when she gazed into his eyes, his were conflicted with memories of everything they’d shared years ago—from dreams and plans to marriage and hopes for their baby.
Breaking eye contact, he opened the door to the diner.
The restaurant was empty but Tessa recognized the waitress wiping down the red counter. “Hi, Mindy.”
“Dr. McGuire! I haven’t seen you for a while.” She cast an assessing glance at Vince, then screwed up her face into an I-think-I-know-you look. “Aren’t you the new chief of police? Rossi, isn’t it? Aren’t you originally from Sagebrush?” She glanced quickly at Tessa and Tessa wondered if Mindy knew their story. But Mindy went on, addressing Vince again. “Dusty was telling me the guys were all nervous when they heard you were coming back, being a homicide detective and all. But he said you weren’t trying to make a whole bunch of changes and you seemed like a right nice guy.”
Vince’s complexion grew a little ruddier. Instead of commenting on what the waitress had said, he motioned to the glass-covered cake dish with its three doughnuts. “So this is where Dusty buys the doughnuts. They’re always gone ten minutes after he brings them in.”
Mindy smiled. “We’ve got the best baked goods in town. I’ve got half an apple pie left and you and Doc McGuire deserve a piece.”
She whispered in an aside to Vince, throwing her chin at Tessa, “The doc gives me samples for my boy when he’s sick, so I can stretch my tips a little further.” Motioning to the table back in the corner, she suggested, “If you two want some privacy, you can have the best table in the house. Tea for you, Doc?”
Tessa nodded.
“Black coffee for you, Chief?”
“How did you know?”
“Just a guess. You look like the type. Just made a new pot.”
Vince waited until Tessa was seated, then pulled out his own chair. After he sat across from her, he shook his head ruefully. “I’d forgotten everyone in this town knows everything about everyone else.”
“You’re a public figure.”
“Not for long.”
He was leaving. She had to remember that.
Swiping off his Stetson, he settled it on one of the chairs. “When I brought Sean in to see you, I forgot to ask for a recommendation for a physical therapist. It’s another two weeks until we see Dr. Rafferty and I want to make sure the exercises I’m doing with him are enough.”
“Unfortunately there aren’t any physical therapy practices in Sagebrush. You’ll have to go to Lubbock.”
“I’ll go wherever I need to go.”
She saw that he would. “I know several good therapists, but let me ask around and I’ll find out who’s best with a child Sean’s age.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Mindy brought their drinks and pie.
Tessa picked up her fork and took a bite, rolling her eyes in obvious pleasure. “This makes up for not eating supper.”
“Did you work late?”
“I always work late. It depends on how long rounds at the hospital take, if I have an emergency, if there’s a problem patient who runs overtime. There are never enough hours in a day.”
They ate in silence for a few moments until Vince asked, “So your dad still raises cutting horses?”
She hadn’t expected the subject of her father to come up again so soon. “He does. He has a manager and a trainer, so he doesn’t do as much of the training as he used to. But he pushes himself to stay moving so his arthritis doesn’t get the best of him.” She took another bite of her pie, though her stomach was churning. “But that isn’t really what you wanted to know, is it? If you want to ask me about him, go ahead.”
He eyed her assessingly. “Does he still control your life?”
Was that what Vince had always thought?
He’d never really understood her relationship with her father. But she wasn’t going to be able to explain it to him over a ten-minute cup of tea. He’d never gotten to know her dad and that had always been part of the problem.
Her father had been protective of her when she was a teenager, afraid Vince would ruin her life. That’s why he’d been opposed to them dating. When they’d married, he’d disowned her, hoping that would bring her to her senses. Instead she’d held on to Vince and the life they could have. Until she’d lost the baby.
A protective urge rose up in her—the urge to protect her dad and to protect herself. It was close to anger, close to rebelliousness, close to all the words she’d never been able to say to Vince because he’d left and hadn’t wanted to hear them. “You said you wanted to chip at the ice walls between us. I don’t think this is the way to do it.”
He leaned away from the table in obvious frustration. “I don’t know how else to say it, Tessa.”
She saw he was being sincere. She matched that sincerity with the truth. “My dad and I are close, but we have separate lives. He respects the decisions I make.”
“Did he ask you to come back to Sagebrush?”
She’d never had a short fuse. In fact, she’d always thought she’d been blessed with an overabundance of the gift of patience. But Vince had always made her question herself and her feelings, what she thought and what she believed. She reacted more strongly whenever she was around him, to him and to everyone else.
She tried to keep her voice steady. “Actually, he didn’t want me to come home. He didn’t think that was good for my career. But he got tossed by a two-year-old horse he was trying to gentle and broke his arm. He could manage. He had help. But when I came home to visit, I could see how he was slowing down. I’d been so focused on med school and residency, my visits had been brief. I took a good look at my life in California and didn’t feel particularly attached. When I heard about the Family Tree Health Center opening, I decided to take the opportunity to come back. Does that answer your question?”
“Not exactly.”
She laid her fork down, most of her pie uneaten. “Well, it’s going to have to do.” She picked up her purse and portfolio. “I’d better be going.”
Vince stood, too.
“You can finish.”
“I’m not letting you walk back to your car alone.”
“This is Sagebrush, Vince.”
“Yes, and I’m the chief of police. I know what goes on here.” He took some bills from his wallet and laid them on the table.
She was going to protest, say she’d pay her half, but the look on his face told her just to head for the door. After a wave at Mindy, she pushed outside. A second later Vince was beside her, silent, not brooding, but definitely pensive.
After half a block he asked, “Did you miss anything about Sagebrush when you were gone?”
A glance at him told her that was a serious question. “I missed the ranch—the horses and cats, and particularly the smells. You know, old wood, saddle leather, sage, brush, the sun heating the damp grass. Mostly I missed riding.”
“You couldn’t find a stable in California?”
“Oh, sure. I went riding a few times. But it wasn’t the same and I simply didn’t have the time. After my shifts, I was dead on my feet. I snatched sleep when I could, studied, and didn’t have much of a life outside of work.”
“Were you in a pediatrics practice out there?”
“After my residency. I also volunteered at a free clinic. But I knew I’d burn out if I kept working at that pace.”
They walked another half block without speaking. Tessa, curious about the path Vince had taken, asked, “Did your law enforcement interest begin in the service?”
“I was stationed at Kirkland Air Force Base in Albuquerque all four years because I was in law enforcement.”
“But why the interest in the first place?”
There was a very long pause before Vince answered, “You knew my mother left. What you didn’t know was that she was murdered.”
Tessa stopped walking and turned to him, her hand on his arm. “Vince. I’m so sorry. You never said anything—”
“It wasn’t something I wanted to remember or talk about. Still don’t, really. She left me and my dad, went to New Orleans and was murdered by a lover. That’s the long and short of it. So I guess I felt I was doing something to right what had gone wrong. That’s not rational of course, but it led me where I am.”
She could feel his taut muscles under his blazer. In the glow of the streetlamp, she could see a beard shadow darkening his jaw. What she couldn’t see was the expression in his eyes under the brim of the Stetson that shadowed them. Even so, due to her imagination or not, she could feel heat emanating from him, rising up from her, and currents rushing from her body into his and back again. She let go of his arm.
They began walking again and soon reached the school’s parking lot where their cars were the only two left. His was a silver SUV. Hers was a small blue sedan. They were both in the front line of the lot about ten spaces apart.
He kept pace with her as she walked toward her car.
“I’m fine now,” she assured him. “You can keep me in your sight as I get in and drive away.”
“I will.”
When he clasped her shoulder, she felt…fire. A rush of memories overwhelmed her. She would have backed away from them if she could have and from him. But his magnetic pull was too great to break.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, though she suspected he knew.
“We’re not strangers,” she murmured, knowing that definitely wasn’t the answer to his question.
“No, we’re not. And even if we wanted to be, that wouldn’t change what we were to each other.”
What were we? a little voice inside her head screamed. Yet, no matter what his answer was, it was too late. They were over. They’d been over for a long time.
“You look scared.” Vince’s hand moved from her shoulder and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Do I still have the power to move you?”
Now she did force herself to back away from his touch…forced herself to remember the sadness, the grief and the loss. “It would be foolish of me to answer that question.”
Yet she knew by saying it, she already had.
Her keys in hand, she hurriedly pressed the remote and the car beeped at her. She opened the driver’s door, slipped inside and quickly shut it. She didn’t roll down her window. Maybe she was being a coward, but she didn’t want to hear anything else Vince might have to say. She certainly didn’t want him to touch her again because he did still move her and she couldn’t accept that. She wouldn’t accept that.
He stood there watching her as she backed up and drove faster than she should have out of the parking lot. She didn’t glance into her rearview mirror.
She wouldn’t look back again tonight. She absolutely wouldn’t.
Chapter Three
A warning voice inside Tessa’s head whispered, You could have called Vince instead of showing up on the police department’s doorstep. She stood in front of the yellow stucco building, uncertain about being here. But she’d told Vince she’d recommend a physical therapist to him and that’s what she was going to do.
The Sagebrush police department’s heavy glass door led into a building that was old, almost as old as the town, with thick adobe walls and wide windowsills. The plank flooring was dull from years of foot traffic. The dispatcher sat at a scarred wood desk to the left. To the right, the receptionist, Ginny Ruja, busily tapped keyboard keys. The rest of the room was partitioned off by a wooden fence with a swinging gate at its center. There were three desks with computers, two of them occupied by officers in blue uniforms. Beyond the desk area, a hallway led to the left and the jail. To the right, Tessa glimpsed a closed door. It was probably Vince’s office.
Crossing to the receptionist’s desk, she smiled at Ginny, who brought her four-year-old son, Jeremy, to Tessa’s practice.
Ginny looked up from her keyboard, and when she saw Tessa, her face was puzzled. “Hello, Dr. McGuire. Is something wrong? I hope you didn’t have your purse stolen or anything like that.”
Since this was Tessa’s day off, she’d walked to the police station, merely slipping her keys into her jeans pocket. She’d intended to go for a brisk walk after she was finished here.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Even though Tessa knew Ginny, she felt awkward being here. The dispatcher and two officers were casting their gazes her way. “Is Vince Rossi in?” she asked.
Ginny’s eyes widened in surprise. “The chief? Yes, he is, but he asked me not to disturb him for an hour so he could finish some paperwork.” Ginny looked torn as to what she should do.
Tessa was disappointed, but she should have called before coming, anyway. She wasn’t going to barge in when she didn’t even belong here.
“I understand. I should have made an appointment.” She slipped a folded index card from her pocket. “I told V—Chief Rossi that I would find some information he wanted.” She held out the index card to Ginny. “If you would just give this to him—”
The receptionist made a sudden decision. “Hold on a minute. Let me buzz him.” Before Tessa could protest, Ginny pressed the button on the intercom. “Chief, I’m sorry to disturb you, but Dr. McGuire is here. She says she has information for you. Do you want me to just take it or should I send her in?”
There was a slight pause, then Vince said, “I’ll be right there.”
Ginny gave Tessa a quizzical look as if wondering why the chief of police would come out to see her.
Tessa folded the index card to give herself something to do. She heard the door to Vince’s office open and then there he was, striding toward her. He was wearing navy slacks and a white oxford shirt with a black bolo tie.
“This is a surprise. I thought after—” He stopped, realizing they had an interested audience.
“I have those names for you…physical therapists.”
Vince knew as well as she did that she could have called. Just seeing him caused her heart to gallop at breakneck speed.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll show you my office. You can tell me about the therapists.”
If she left now, quickly, there’d be questions about why she’d come and why she hadn’t accepted his invitation. But if she accepted his invitation, there would probably still be talk. Though her reason for being here could be pushed into the realm of a professional consultation. She was, after all, his son’s doctor.
She nodded to Vince and started toward the wooden gate. He reached it before she did and held it open for her. When she passed him, she was very close to him—close enough to smell the scent of his cologne, close enough to stir up too many memories. By the time she reached his office door, she felt hot all over and told herself to calm down, to act as if Vince were any other classmate who’d moved back to Sagebrush.
Right.
Vince’s office wasn’t huge, but it was big enough to hold an expansive metal desk with a computer station to his right, four tall file cabinets and a set of barrister bookshelves. The yellow stucco walls were bare but a casement window provided a view of the back of the property. A stack of file folders toppled sideways on Vince’s desk.
“I don’t want to interrupt your work,” she was quick to assure him. “I can see you’re busy.”
“I need a break.” He gestured to the coffeepot on top of the bookshelves. “Cup of coffee?” Then he snapped his fingers. “You drink tea now. Sorry, I don’t have any of that.”
“I’m fine.”
He looked over her, assessing everything from her striped tank top to her white jeans, then he motioned to the chair in front of his desk. She perched on the edge of the wooden captain’s chair, fingering the index card she was still holding. “I have the names of two therapists. Both are good. You might be able to get in to see one before the other.”
He came around the desk instead of sitting behind it, took the index card from her and sat on a corner.
At once Tessa realized he was much too close for comfort. Everything about Vince, from the jut of his jaw to his slim hips to his long legs reminded her of the times they’d spent together, riding, swimming, making love. She knew what was under his clothes and he knew what was under hers. Years had made his body harder and stronger. She could tell that by the way he moved, the way his muscles rippled. And her body? She was in shape, but she didn’t know what he’d think of her now. After all, at thirty-eight, he was experienced. How many women had he been with since he’d been with her?
“Tessa?”
He must have asked her a question. “Sorry, my mind was wandering. What did you ask?”
“Are you sure you don’t have a preference for which therapist is best?”
She shook her head. “Both treat babies.”
He studied her. “Where did your mind wander?”
Heat crept up her cheeks. “I have to make rounds at the hospital later today.”
“So you were thinking about a patient? Or were you thinking about us?”
She wasn’t going to go there. “I know you’re wondering why I came here today instead of calling. I guess…our time at the diner didn’t go very well. I don’t want to feel this awkwardness every time I see you. If we could just establish a friendly professional relationship—”
“Professional?” His eyebrows quirked up.
“Yes. I’m your son’s doctor.”
Vince’s stormy gray gaze said he wasn’t buying it. She could put whatever label she wanted to on their relationship, but it would always be deeper than whatever she described it as. That’s what history did. It wound ties around two people that couldn’t easily be severed.
Out of the blue he asked, “Are you seeing anyone now?”
She couldn’t help her defensive reply. “That’s really none of your business.”
“Maybe not, but I thought I’d ask anyway. Are you?”
Was there a reason he was asking? A reason that had to do with those silver sparks in his eyes? “No.”
“Then any awkwardness you’re feeling isn’t about that—about a boyfriend not liking the idea.”
“No, it’s not.”
“So that means the awkwardness between us has to do with everything that happened, what we said and what we didn’t say. We’ll never resolve that over a cup of coffee or tea.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t try to resolve it,” she admitted softly. “Maybe we should just realize we’re different people now and go from there.”
He leaned toward her. “Are we different people?”
Vince’s cologne, the shadow of his beard on his jaw, the way he listened—as if she were the only one in the world to listen to—almost urged her to lean toward him. But then she concentrated on his question and wondered if Vince was thinking about her father and his involvement in their breakup, his involvement in her life. “Yes, we’re different people. You’re a father now and I’m the doctor I always wanted to be.”
“Always?” he challenged.
For the span of her marriage, all she’d wanted to be was Vince’s wife and the mother of his children. She’d told him that when they’d married. She might still become a mother if she was lucky—if someone chose her profile at the adoption agency…if an unwed mother picked her to adopt her child. But she didn’t know what the possibility was of a woman choosing her over a married couple. There was no point going into her dream of adopting with Vince. It might never happen.
Studying his somber expression, knowing he was searching for answers as she had, she replied, “My dreams as a teenager had to change as an adult. Once I decided to become a doctor, that was my dream.”
The quiet in the office became uncomfortable until she asked the question gnawing at her. Turnabout was fair play. “Are you dating? I mean, were you serious about someone when you became Sean’s legal guardian?”
For a moment their gazes held but neither of them spoke. Then Vince answered her. “I wasn’t seriously dating.”
“I see.”
He pushed himself up from the desk, all casual easiness gone. “No, you don’t see, Tessa. I was a homicide detective—on call day, night and weekends. Unless I wanted to hook up with another detective who understood that—” He shook his head. “Most of those relationships don’t make it, either. So when I dated, I dated for fun, to forget my work and have a good time. That’s probably something you wouldn’t understand because you were never that kind of woman.”
“Is that a compliment or an insult?”
He blew out a breath in frustration. “Neither. You wanted a home and family, or you wanted a career. But whatever you wanted, you weren’t the kind of woman who could have fun for a night and then forget about it.”
“You were that kind of man?”
“I turned into that kind of man. But now that I have Sean to think about and focus on I have to be a role model and I have to be there for him 24/7.”
She studied the set of his shoulders, the slide on his bolo tie in the shape of the state of Texas, which was a symbol of the professional responsibility he was shouldering. But the responsibility of fatherhood was even more daunting. “You seem to have accepted being a parent without much of a fight. Maybe it’s what you wanted all along.” Her heart hurt as she thought about the child they’d lost, a child Vince had been as excited about as she had been. She could see he was thinking about that little boy now.
“The past always surfaces, doesn’t it?” he asked in a low voice.
“It’s our common ground.”
“Whether we want it to be or not.” His gaze assessed her again from head to toe as if trying to figure out something. “Did you find the life you wanted?”
“I’m still working on it.”
His jaw became more set, but then he said, “Good luck with that.”
They were finished. They really were. There was too much hurt and resentment swirling under the surface.
What if they brought it all out into the open?
That might only make things worse.
Standing, putting a little distance between them, she motioned to the card on his desk. “I hope you like the therapists.” She wouldn’t see Vince again until after his consultation with Dr. Rafferty. If the specialist recommended surgery, then she wouldn’t see Vince until after that surgery was completed. At that point, he’d probably be thinking about leaving Sagebrush.
“Good luck with Sean, Vince.”
His expression was unreadable as he replied, “Thanks. I’ll walk you out.”
They obviously had nothing more to say. They obviously had too much to say and couldn’t say any of it.
After he opened his office door, she was careful as she passed him that their bodies didn’t touch. She was careful not to breathe in his cologne or glance back at him or remember. She pushed open the swinging wooden gate herself. He caught it and passed through after her.
At the glass door, she knew everyone in the room was watching them. She extended her hand irrationally, needing some kind of last contact.
He clasped it in both of his.
“See you around,” she murmured.
“See you around.” He released her hand.
As she left she felt as if she’d lost something precious she could never find again.
“One…two…three!” Vince chanted enthusiastically the following Monday as he raised Sean’s arm up and down. After three, Vince put his lips to the little boy’s tummy and blew a puff of air, making Sean giggle. Sean always giggled when Vince did that and Vince loved to hear it.
However, Sean stopped midgiggle and gave a little cough.
Vince studied his son then commented to Mrs. Zappa, who was folding laundry, “He’s sniffling. I noticed it this morning when I gave him his bottle.”
Mrs. Zappa was a short, robust woman, with rimless spectacles and gray salting her black hair. She was full of energy and seemed to love taking care of Sean.
Mrs. Zappa placed Sean’s little shirts in a chest drawer and crossed to the changing table where Vince stood taking his son through the routine of exercises for his arm.
She studied the baby. “He ate this morning.”
“Not as much as usual,” Vince reminded her.
“Does he have a fever?”
Vince picked up the ear thermometer he’d bought. “According to this he doesn’t, but maybe I’m using it wrong.”
Mrs. Zappa took it from him and crooned to Sean. “Let me try to take your temperature, too.” Afterward she scanned the readout. “Normal. But with a baby, that could change at any time. I’ll check it every hour or so. We’ll make it a game.”
Vince glanced at his watch. “I should get going.”
“Did you eat breakfast?”
A genuine homebody, Mrs. Zappa felt she had to mother him as well as Sean. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It had been a long time since anyone cared whether he ate well or slept…not since he’d been married to Tessa.
“I’ll grab something at the station.”
“Oh sure, some of those pastries from the Yellow Rose. Don’t you realize they’re clogging your arteries?”
“I could just have black coffee,” he joked.
Rolling her eyes, Mrs. Zappa picked up Sean, bouncing him in the air. The baby chortled and drew up his legs.
“Let me tell you something, Mr. Rossi.”
He’d asked her to call him Vince, but she wouldn’t.
“You might have lived your life just for yourself for a long time, but now you have the future to think about. You have to stay healthy for this little boy. He’s going to need you around for many, many years to come. So in addition to working out with those weights in your bedroom, you need to eat right and take care of yourself.”
She must have seen the weights when she cleaned and swept his room. “I hear there’s a runners’ path around the lake,” he said. “I’d like to include that in my schedule a few times a week, but it might mean you’d have to stay another hour or so. How do you feel about that?”
“More money in my piggy bank for that cruise I want to take.” She grinned at him and took Sean over to his crib, laid him down and started the wind-up mobile toy above him. The tiny animal figures moved around the circle in time with the music.
“I’m going to make chili for tonight. How hot do you like it?” she asked with a grin.
“Hot.”
She shook her head. “Pretty soon I’ll have all your tastes figured out.”
Crossing to Sean’s crib, Vince adjusted one of the figures on the mobile that had become tangled with another. When he gazed down at Sean, he held out his finger for his son to grasp. Sean grabbed it with his good hand and Vince hoped beyond hope that Dr. Rafferty could give back to the baby the use of his right arm.
Mrs. Zappa gazed at him across the crib. “You know what you need, don’t you?”
He wiggled his finger back and forth with Sean holding on to it. “What? More cookware?” Mrs. Zappa had been dismayed when she’d arrived that he’d only bought a saucepan and a frying pan.
“Not cookware. You need a wife.”
That brought Vince’s gaze to hers. “I don’t need a wife. I have you,” he joked.
“Be serious, Mr. Rossi. I see you worry every time you look at that little boy. A wife would help cut that worry in half. A wife would help lighten the troubles and double the joys.”
Before he thought better of it, he responded, “I tried that once and it didn’t work out.”
If that wasn’t an understatement, he didn’t know what was. He was sure Tessa still blamed him for everything that had happened, including her hysterectomy. He deserved the blame, the guilt and the regrets.
“I’m not husband material, Mrs. Zappa.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because my marriage failed. Because I never had a role model.”
“You didn’t have a dad?”
“I had a dad who drank.”
“I see,” she said slowly. “That doesn’t mean you can’t learn. If you want something bad enough, you do what you have to do. You learn what you have to learn.”
As he thought about that, the end of his marriage played insistently in his head. Tessa had made her decision at the hospital when she chose to go home with her father rather than with him. Had he learned from that? He’d learned some bonds overrode others. He’d just been too smitten with Tessa to see it. “You make life sound so easy.”
“Oh, no. Life isn’t easy. Sometimes it’s a downright struggle. But having the right person beside you makes all the difference in the world. My Tony…” She sighed. “He was the best husband in the world. He told me every day he loved me. He never hesitated to give me a hug or a squeeze. He was a good man who worked hard to make our life the best it could be. I’ll never stop missing him. Thank goodness that, while I miss him, I have all the memories from thirty-six years of marriage to give me comfort. I can’t imagine what my life would have been without him.”
“You have children, right?”
“Two boys—one lives in Austin, the other in San Antonio. And because I have two boys, that’s how I know you need a wife to help you raise your son.”
Since his divorce, Vince never thought about committing to a life partner again. He simply couldn’t imagine it. When he and Tessa had married, everything about the marriage had been strained from the get-go. She’d come from wealth and they’d had no money. She’d come from a ranch with every modern convenience. They’d had a walk-up apartment with very few amenities. She’d thought being married had meant spending time with him. He’d had to work from sunrise to sunset just to give them the basics, just to pay for doctors’ appointments, the utilities, the repairs on his truck that was always breaking down. He’d had no expectations about marriage, but she had.
It was time to leave for work, but he had one more question for Mrs. Zappa. “So many marriages aren’t good ones, so many fail. What was the secret to making yours a good one?”
The older woman saw he was serious and wanted an honest answer. Soberly, she replied, “There are two secrets—compromise and forgiveness. So many young people think love is enough. But it’s not, not unless it grows into selfsacrifice, not unless both people can put the other one first.”
As Vince left the apartment a few minutes later, his mind was on everything Mrs. Zappa had said as well as on every one of the mistakes he’d made when he was eighteen, naive enough to think that love was enough.
That evening Vince paced the kitchen with Sean in the crook of his arm. He did not want to call Tessa.
But Sean coughed once again, a cough that made Vince hurt for the little boy. Sean also sounded as if he was wheezing.
Making the decision that was best for his son, Vince went to the cordless phone, picked it up and dialed. Earlier he’d looked her number up in the phone book and he’d remembered it. If she didn’t answer, if she wasn’t home, he’d take Sean to the emergency room.
Tessa must have had caller ID because when she picked up the phone, she asked, “Vince?”
“I’m sorry to bother you, but Sean’s sick. He just had the sniffles this morning, but now he has this cough and a temperature of 101 and he’s wheezing. He’s done the emergency room route before when his parents died and he was in the hospital, too. I want to spare him that if I can.”
After only a moment’s hesitation, Tessa said, “Give me your address.”
He quickly did, telling her what side roads to take off of the main street.
“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” she assured him and cut off the call.
Until Tessa arrived, Vince paced, rubbed Sean’s back and laid him in his crib. When the coughing seemed worse, he picked him up again. Ten minutes seemed like an hour, but Tessa finally rang the doorbell.
He hurried to answer it, Sean in his arms.
Tessa was carrying her doctor’s bag, and although she wore jeans and a short-sleeved blouse, she had a professional air about her. After one look at Vince’s face, she took Sean from him and carried the baby to the sofa.
Vince felt absolutely helpless and hated the feeling.
Now Sean was crying, as well as sniffling and coughing. Tessa tried to soothe him as she examined him. When she listened to his chest with a stethoscope, she frowned. “You said this has been going on since this morning?”
“Yes. It was just a cold.”
“It’s more than that now. I want you to run the shower, hot water. Get a lot of steam in the room. After you do that, find me a bath towel to wrap him in. I’m going to give him an injection and then sit in the bathroom with him until he’s breathing better.”
Vince came over to Sean, laid his hand on his son’s head. “Maybe I should stay here with him while you give him the injection.”
Tessa gazed up at him. “The sooner you get the shower running, the sooner he’ll breathe easier. Trust me, Vince.”
He realized he could trust Tessa, the doctor. And Tessa, the woman? She’d chosen her father’s protection over his but that didn’t matter right now. Only Sean mattered.
As he left the living room, he glanced back at Tessa. She was reaching into her bag, taking out a vial of medication.
He hadn’t prayed in a very long time. But he prayed now that Sean could fight this off and soon be well.
Chapter Four
Tessa sat on the closed commode in Vince’s bathroom, cooing to Sean and rocking him. Her hair was soft, fuzzy and damp from the steam, tendrils curling this way and that. Her clothes were damp, too.
Vince didn’t think she’d ever looked more beautiful.
His own shirt was sticking to his skin but he’d been so worried about Sean that he hardly noticed. The baby had stopped coughing and his wheezing didn’t sound as constricted.
“We can’t keep him in here much longer. I’ll run out of hot water. What then?”
“I don’t think we’ll need a trip to the emergency room. Can you go to the drugstore and buy a cool mist humidifier and distilled water? Also, Pedialyte. I want him to drink it so he doesn’t get dehydrated.”
Vince glanced at his watch. It was after nine but he knew the drugstore was open until midnight.
“Oh, and children’s acetaminophen if you don’t have any.”
“Are you going to stay in here until I get back?”
“If your hot water holds out,” she said with a small smile.
He was so tempted to wrap his arms around her and Sean, to tell her how grateful he was for her expertise, for coming when he knew she didn’t want to be here.
Instead, he said, “Thank you, Tessa.”
Her gaze locked onto his for a few seconds—a few seconds of awareness and memories and sizzling attraction that was still there.
But then she looked away and gazed down at Sean. “No thanks necessary.”
Her voice was a bit unsteady.
As Vince climbed into his SUV, he couldn’t keep from envisioning how Tessa had massaged Sean’s little chest and patted him softly on the back when she’d first taken him into the bathroom. She was so good with children.
And she’d never have any of her own.
Vince knew Walter McGuire had blamed him for everything that had happened, from the pregnancy to the quick marriage to the walk-up apartment he and Tessa had lived in, to the condition that had taken their baby and almost Tessa’s life, too. Over the years, Vince had wrestled with his own guilt and attempted to look over that span of time rationally, especially the pain that had come from Tessa choosing to go home with her father from the hospital, rather than with him. Everything that had come after had been born in that decision of hers. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, the pain from her choice still lodged in his heart.
He found what he needed in the drugstore and was home in twenty-five minutes. Home. It wasn’t home yet. Maybe it just needed pictures on the walls in the living room and a few rugs on the floor? That might help. But how long would he and Sean be staying here? If Sean had surgery, how long would recovery take?
Next week he might have that answer.
Now when Vince stepped into his house, something felt…different. Maybe it was the lingering scent of strawberries and vanilla from Tessa’s lotion or whatever she used. That day she’d come to the station, it had wrapped around him and twisted his gut. Or maybe the difference in the condo came from the sight of her medical bag sitting on his dinette table.
But then he was drawn to what really transformed his condo into a home rather than simply the place where he lived. The sound of Tessa’s lovely voice crooning to his son pierced his heart.
He never should have called her tonight. Yet Sean had needed her. What else could he have done?
His training in the Air Force and as a cop had taught him to walk silently unless he wanted to be heard. Setting his purchases quietly to the side of the computer on his desk in the corner of living room, he went down the hall to Sean’s room and stopped just outside the doorway. Tessa’s hair and blouse were still damp. She’d tossed a towel over the back of the rocker and had wrapped Sean in one.
Vince could see his son was sleeping as Tessa rocked and sang, “Baby close your eyes. Dream of puppy dogs and fireflies.”
He didn’t know the song and wondered if she’d made it up herself to sing to her little patients.
He knew he hadn’t made a sound. He’d hardly taken a breath. Yet she glanced up and spotted him as if some sixth sense had told her he was there.
“Is he asleep?” Vince asked though he’d already guessed the answer.
“Yes, he’s breathing easier. The little guy was tuckered out. He drank some apple juice for me. If he wakes up later, he might be sweated. See if he’ll take some of the Pedialyte.”
“Let me get the humidifier going and we’ll see if he’ll sleep in his crib.”
After Vince added the distilled water to the machine and plugged it in, Tessa asked, “Do you have something easy we can put on him so we don’t wake him?”
From the chest of drawers, Vince produced a nightshirt that buttoned down the front and was decorated with baseballs and bats. Tessa carefully unwrapped the towel. Vince slipped one little arm into the sleeve and carefully snuck it around Sean’s shoulders. When he did, the back of his hand grazed Tessa’s breast. She gave a quick inhale of air. They both froze.
He mumbled, “Sorry,” and managed to slip Sean’s good arm into the sleeve without awakening him. Vince’s big fingers fumbled on the snap buttons.
“Would you like me to fasten them?” Tessa asked softly.
He nodded, too close to her to shove his desire aside. He noticed Tessa’s fingers tremble as she fastened the bottom three snaps.
Lifting Sean from her arms, Vince wasn’t thinking about the past and regrets as he settled his son in his crib. The electricity between him and Tessa was alive now and it caught him in its grip. He turned on the night-light, then adjusted the baby monitor to the proper volume.
Tessa came over to stand beside him as he looked down at Sean. “He’s a wonderful little boy.”
Vince thought he heard a catch in her voice. “I should make a tape of that song you were singing for nights when I have trouble getting him to sleep.”
“It’s just something I made up for when I visit the newborns in the nursery.”
“You’re a woman of many talents.”
She smiled. “Believe me, songwriting isn’t one of them.”
He wouldn’t agree but didn’t argue with her. Standing so close to her, he could sense when she shivered. “You really should get out of that blouse. Let me get one of my shirts and I can run yours through the dryer.”
Tessa was never uncertain, but she looked unsure now. “I really should be going.”
“Mrs. Zappa made freshly squeezed orange juice this morning with the juicer. Can I tempt you?” The housekeeper at Arrowhead Ranch used to give Tessa freshly squeezed orange juice every morning.
“You remembered.” Tessa’s blue eyes were wider with surprise.
“I remember a lot of things.”
He could have kissed her then. He could have just bent right down and slid his arms around her. That’s what everything inside him urged him to do. But a kiss right now could damage the fragile thread of understanding forming between them.
After a last glance at Sean, Vince went to his room to find a clean shirt. Fortunately, Mrs. Zappa had ironed a few yesterday.
Away from Tessa, he inhaled a deep breath and took a white oxford, one of many he had because they were so practical, from his closet and carried it back to Sean’s bedroom where she was still watching his baby.
When she took the shirt, he said, “I’ll be in the kitchen pouring orange juice.”
He closed Sean’s bedroom door behind him, giving her the privacy to change…the privacy to think about their lives intersecting again.
A few minutes later, Tessa walked into the kitchen, feeling self-conscious in Vince’s shirt and knowing she shouldn’t. But when they’d been married, she’d sometimes worn one of his shirts with nothing underneath it and that had often led to—
She banished thoughts of their past together. Making sure she’d buttoned Vince’s shirt up to the neck, she told herself once more that there was nothing to be self-conscious about. Still, when Vince’s gaze slowly scanned her, she felt naked. She felt foolish; color crept into her cheeks.
She went to the counter where he had taken a pitcher from the refrigerator. “This housekeeper of yours must be a gem if she squeezes fresh orange juice for you.”
“She is. Already I don’t know what I’d do without her. I think she’s trying to mother me, though, and I don’t know how I feel about that.”
Tessa had never known her mother and in some ways, she believed her loss was easier than Vince’s situation where he’d had a mother one day and the next day he hadn’t. “You could let her do nice things for you. There’s nothing wrong with having parents who care, even at our age.”
As soon as she said it, she knew her words were a mistake.
Vince’s brow creased and he handed her one of the glasses he’d filled.
She took a few sips, not knowing where to take the conversation from there. Her father was definitely a hundredpound gorilla standing between them in the room.
She grasped for an easy topic. “So how do you like being chief of police?”
He shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m pushing around a lot of papers, though. I’m used to being in the thick of things.”
“Fortunately, we don’t have much murder and mayhem in Sagebrush.”
“Fortunately,” he agreed.
That change of subject hadn’t done so well.
The kitchen was furnished as sparsely as the rest of the house. There was a dining area with a table and chairs but it looked as if it was never used. There were no curtains or blinds, no place mats, not even a pad and pencil that said Vince spent some time here. But there was a calendar hanging by a magnet on the refrigerator. She noticed the appointment she’d had with Vince and the one with Dr. Rafferty were marked. Then there was a notation about his meeting at the high school. The rest of the blocks were empty.
She realized Vince hadn’t begun his life here yet.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said gruffly.
“You’re a mentalist now?” Although her tone was teasing, she remembered all those times years ago when he could read her mind and she could read his. From the moment they’d first spoken to each other, they’d been so in sync.
He didn’t banter back. “You’re thinking a child should be raised in a real home, not just in a condo that’s a place to stay.”
He definitely wasn’t reading her mind tonight. “No, that’s not what I was thinking, Vince. I was thinking you’ve just begun a life here. It will take some time to establish it…if you want to.”
After he studied her thoughtfully, he admitted, “I couldn’t see putting money into rugs and drapes when we might only be here a few months. Except for Sean’s room. I wanted his room to be a special place for him.”
Setting her glass on the counter, she asked, “So you really intend to leave again?”
He set his glass down, too, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “When I found the specialist in Lubbock, I thought coming back here would be a good idea. Since I was familiar with the area, I was able to get in touch with a couple of friends. I believed Sagebrush would be good for Sean because we wouldn’t be landing in a strange place. But as soon as I drove down Longhorn Way, I thought ‘strange’ might have been better. I have very few happy memories here, Tessa.”
She knew that was true—a mother who’d abandoned him, a father who hadn’t known how to be a father. Vince had had to be the parent. He’d had to pay the bills and work afterschool jobs to keep food on the table. Then when he’d married her, he’d had double the responsibility.
When Vince slipped one hand from his pocket, Tessa knew what he was going to do. She should have grabbed her medical bag and fled. She should have…but she didn’t.
He reached out and brushed her hair from her cheek. His rough skin on hers was as arousing as it always had been. Even back in high school, his hands had been callused from outside work. Trembling, she couldn’t look away from him, couldn’t step back, couldn’t forget what they’d once been to each other.
“Your perfume suits you.” His voice was husky and there was a fire in his eyes that meant he desired her. She could never forget that heat or hunger.
“You shouldn’t…” She couldn’t seem to get out any more words.
“I shouldn’t what? Touch you? We’ve been avoiding each other like we had the plague. I don’t think that has to do with lack of chemistry, but too much of it. It’s still there. Even worried about Sean, I want to feel your skin under my hand.”
He could always do this with words—make her need. He straightened the collar of his shirt around her neck and under her hair as if that were the most natural thing to do. But then his hand slid along her collarbone, his fingers lacing in still-damp strands of her hair.
When Vince’s lips brushed over hers, her breath caught, her heart raced, her stomach twittered. Before she realized what she was doing, she reached for him, too. Her body was reacting as if it knew what was best.
He murmured something against her lips, something like, “I don’t believe this is happening.”
But then she heard nothing but the hum of the refrigerator and concentrated on the sensation of Vince’s lips on hers. He had always been an expert kisser, even at eighteen. Now, there was no finesse about the kiss, no intentional seduction. She felt his deep hunger, felt hers rise up to meet it, welcomed the invasion and sweep of his tongue in her mouth, the press of his body against hers. Old and new, familiar and different, excitement and desire mixed with the thought that what they were doing was taboo…yet she couldn’t remember why.
Suddenly, a baby’s sharp cry penetrated her pleasure. Instinctively her body shut down. She broke the kiss, and Vince pulled back.
He said gruffly, “I have to check on him.”
Of course he did, and she wanted to run into the room with him. Already she cared about this child as she did all her patients. But she stayed put as if she were glued to the spot.
Mechanically she picked up her glass, drank more orange juice and didn’t think about the kiss, didn’t revel in the lingering sensations from it, didn’t wonder why she’d let it happen.
When Vince returned, she was still standing there, counting the tiles along the back of the sink.
“He’s okay,” Vince told her. “He must have cried out in his sleep. Sometimes I wonder if he has dreams about the accident, if he’ll subconsciously remember that forever. Or if he’s so young, it will be wiped away as if it didn’t happen.”
Almost as if she had no control over her thoughts or her voice, she faced Vince. “Why didn’t you contact me after you went away?”
He didn’t seem surprised that she’d slipped back twenty years. His brows furrowed, the nerve in the hollow of his jaw worked and he replied, “You’d gone on with your life. I didn’t want to interfere with that.”
“How did you know I’d gone on with my life?”
“I still had friends back in Sagebrush. My dad was still here. You know how it is.”
She knew how it was and should have realized he’d gotten word of her comings and goings, just as she’d gotten word of his.
He stepped closer to her and rested his hands on her shoulders, sending heat through her once more. “I also didn’t want to put more of a wedge between you and your dad. I saw what it did to you when he disowned you, when he told you that you were no daughter of his. When I left, you were back in his house, back in his life. What would he have done if I’d contacted you?”
“He didn’t have to know,” she replied defiantly. If Vince had asked her to join him anywhere, she would have forgotten about college to build a life with him.
But Vince shook his head. “You never could have kept it from him. I saw how you needed your dad after the hysterectomy.”
His words tore her in two because he still didn’t understand. “I didn’t only need my dad, Vince. I needed you, too. I lost our baby and you weren’t there to talk about it. You weren’t there to…understand.”
Suddenly Vince’s house was claustrophobic. She couldn’t be in the same space he was. She couldn’t breathe. Pulling away from him, she went to the table and grabbed her bag.
“I’ll mail your shirt back to you,” she murmured and hurried to the door.
She practically ran to her car parked at the curb. She didn’t look back at the house to see if he’d followed her outside.
He wouldn’t follow her. He wouldn’t leave Sean. That’s the way it should be.
When she started the ignition and drove away, a mantra played in her mind. You can’t fall in love with him again. You can’t fall in love with him again.
On Saturday morning, Tessa slid a tea bag into a mug of hot water and absently dipped it up and down. All week she’d tried to forget about her kiss with Vince on Monday. When she concentrated on her little patients, she could pretend nothing had happened with him. But it had. She hadn’t wanted to dissect the kiss. Yet she couldn’t set it aside, lock it in a box or think around it.
Francesca, dressed in jeans and oversize T-shirt with the Family Tree symbol stamped on the front, sank onto a stool at the eat-in counter of their kitchen, looking as if she’d been up all night. Her long hair was tousled, and she wore no makeup. That was unusual. Francesca was a perfectionist about almost everything and her appearance was out of character.
“Are you okay?” Tessa asked, picking up her mug and carrying it to the table.
Francesca considered her question. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Instead of answering, Francesca slid from the stool and went to the coffee Emily had brewed before she left to go grocery shopping. She poured a mug and worried her lower lip.
“What happened?” Tessa prompted.
Her friend took a sip of coffee and grimaced. “No wonder Emily adds milk and sugar. This is strong enough for two pots.”
Turning on the faucet, she added hot water, then crossed to the stool and took a seat once more. “I went to a party last night.”
“That’s right!” Tessa remembered. “It was a reception for Kent Harris to celebrate the opening of his own law firm in Sagebrush. Do you think he snagged many clients?” If she could encourage Francesca to talk, maybe Tessa could discover what was troubling her friend.
“Possibly. There were so many people there that—” She stopped abruptly.
“What?”
Francesca stared down into her coffee.
Worried now, Tessa laid a hand on her housemate’s arm. “What’s troubling you so? Was Darren there and he wants to get back together with you again?”
The reason Francesca had moved to Sagebrush was to be with a man she’d fallen in love with. Darren was also a doctor at Family Tree. He’d met Francesca at a conference, and they’d conducted a long-distance relationship until he’d persuaded her to move to Sagebrush. She had and, for a while, their romance had stayed on an even keel. But when Francesca had moved in with Darren, she’d discovered he wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. He’d taken her moving in as a commitment, the next thing to marriage, and he’d seemed to change before her eyes into the type of controlling man she’d sworn she’d never date, let alone marry.
“Nothing to do with Darren,” Francesca answered her, but then frowned. “Or…maybe it does in a roundabout way.”
She ran her hand through her straight hair and sighed. “Why is it that just when I think I’ve learned from my past, that I’ve finally broken free from the kind of abusive home I grew up in, something happens that tosses me right back there again? Before I could talk, I knew my mother was under my dad’s thumb. When I was little, I learned why when I overheard Mom confiding in a friend, telling her my dad had forced her into marriage when she’d gotten pregnant. After Darren turned out to be controlling just like my dad, I swore off relationships.”
“I know you did. In the year since you’ve broken up with him, you haven’t even gone out on a date.”
“Yeah, well, I slept with a man last night. How is that for jumping into the fire?”
Tessa saw the panicked, troubled look in Francesca’s eyes. “You used protection?”
“Oh, yes, he had a condom.” Francesca sighed again and rubbed her face, then she shook her head. “Honest to goodness, Tessa, I don’t know what happened.”
“You mean he put something in your drink, or—”
“Heavens no.”
Tessa thought it was best if Francesca started from the beginning. “Who is this man?”
“Your dad probably knew his dad. In fact, you might even know him. His name is Grady Fitzgerald. His father was a saddlemaker and now Grady’s taken over the business.”
“Sure, I know him. Vince probably knows him, too. He worked in his dad’s saddle shop when we were married, though Grady was away at school then. My dad bought my first saddle from Mr. Fitzgerald and Grady delivered it to the ranch.”
“What was Grady like?”
“From what I remember, he wasn’t a joiner. Lots of girls had a crush on him but he seemed immune. He comes from a big family. He was a good rider and that’s probably why he’s so good at saddle making. He understands what the horse and rider need to be comfortable.”
Since Francesca was listening with avid interest, Tessa asked, “Are you going to see him again?”
She shook her head adamantly. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re very different people. We talked for a long time, Tessa, and I realized how different we were while we were talking.”
“Different how?”
“My career and the babies I treat mean everything to me. You know that. I’m on call more often than not, and I’d never say no when a baby’s in distress. It’s my life. Grady’s business is just a part of his life. He spends a lot of time with his family. Family has never done anything but hurt me…from my father’s abuse to my mom’s fear. I always felt I had to take care of my mom because she couldn’t take care of herself.”
Soon after Francesca and Tessa had become friends, she’d learned her story. Francesca had revealed that her mother had finally left her husband after he’d attacked Francesca when she was eight. But the years of being in the house with him, under the same roof, knowing he could control her mother because she was afraid of him, had scarred Francesca deeply. Her mother had died a few years ago from lung cancer and Francesca had once confided she felt like an orphan.
Now Tessa reassured her friend, “You have us. Me and Emily. You know you can count on us.”
“I know I can. But that’s different from what Grady has. He’s used to being part of a bigger picture. I’m used to being on my own. And it’s not just that. Grady’s about seven years older than me…in his midforties. He wants to stay in Sagebrush the rest of his life. You know I’m thinking about applying to Doctors Without Borders and seeing more of the world.”
Tessa let silence settle in for a few seconds. “So what’s the real reason you don’t want to see Grady again, in spite of all these differences?”
After a long moment, Francesca replied, “Exactly because I knew we were very different and something still happened. I was so attracted to him that differences didn’t matter and all we had was this…heat!” Francesca shook her head. “Besides, I’m not ready for a relationship. It hasn’t been that long since Darren.”
“It’s been a year.”
“It doesn’t seem like very long, and let’s face it, Tessa. I don’t trust men—not with my history with my dad and then not with Darren turning into somebody I didn’t know. He was so charming before I moved in with him, then he became controlling and manipulative and everything I didn’t want in a man.”
“You made a mistake.”
“Yeah, a big one. Apparently I was attracted to what I was trying to run away from. I can’t take the chance that that’s going to happen again.”
Tessa knew all about being afraid of making the same mistake twice.
The doorbell rang and Francesca’s eyebrows raised. “Are you expecting someone?”
“No, how about you?”
Francesca shook her head.
Before Tessa went to answer the door, she suggested, “Maybe it’s Grady.”
That comment drew Francesca through the living room into the foyer after her. But when Tessa opened the door, she didn’t find Grady Fitzgerald. She found Vince with Sean in his arms and a bag in his hand. She couldn’t have been more surprised.
Obviously seeing that, he explained, “We had our physical therapy with Carly Brennan this morning. She could fit us in first. It went really well. I just wanted to return your blouse and tell you how grateful I was for your recommendation.” He handed her the bag.
She’d mailed Vince’s shirt back to him the morning after their kiss. With Francesca almost hovering over her shoulder out of curiosity, Tessa said, “Why don’t you come in. Vince, this is one of my housemates, Francesca Talbot. Francesca, Vince Rossi.” The two shook hands as Tessa smiled at Sean, who seemed to be in robust health again. “How are you this morning? So you liked Carly, huh?”
Sean waved his left arm, tried to sit up against Vince’s chest and talked the baby syllables he knew best.
“He’s adorable,” Francesca cooed, always interested in babies. “Will he come to me?”
“He might,” Vince said. “He’s not shy of strangers.”
Tessa wanted to hold Sean, too, play with his little fingers and toes, brush his wisps of hair. But she knew she had to keep her distance. She couldn’t become involved with this baby any more than his father.
Francesca held out her hands to Sean and he went to her without any fuss. “I’ll take him out back to the yard. There’s a lot to look at out there.”
Sean seemed content with Francesca and didn’t even look back at his dad as she carried him away.
“She’s good with kids,” Vince observed, watching Francesca as she talked to Sean and he happily babbled back.
“She’s a neonatologist. She fills her life with helping newborns.” Then remembering ingrained manners, Tessa asked, “Coffee?”
“I had two cups while I was waiting for Sean. I think that’s enough for now.”
Tessa motioned to the sofa and Vince lowered himself to it. After setting the bag with her blouse on the end table, she sank down beside him, then realized she shouldn’t have. Their elbows were almost brushing. She turned sideways a bit but then her knee grazed his. Neither of them moved away. “Did Carly let you stay for the session?”
“Some of it. She spent a long while just making sure Sean was comfortable with her.”
“I understand that’s what she’s good at. She needs her patient’s cooperation and she usually gets it.”
Silence fell between them and when Tessa glanced at Vince, she felt all twittery inside.
“You look as if you’re going to jump up and fly away,” he remarked in a dry tone.
She made herself consciously relax and settle back into the sofa cushion. There was about a half inch of space between them and she was thankful for that, at least. She couldn’t move farther away without seeming too obvious.
“I feel like a teenager again,” he muttered, stepping into the void between them.
“Why?”
“I don’t know what to say or do with you, Tessa. At least when we were teenagers, I didn’t get the feeling you’d rather be anywhere else than sitting next to me.”
“That’s not the case,” she admitted, then wished she hadn’t.
His eyes darkened with memories and, gazing at him, she felt the old sizzle, the old pulsing awareness, yet something new, too. Still, she protested, “We’re not teenagers anymore. We’re old enough to know what’s right for us and what isn’t, what’s good for our lives and what isn’t.”
“Maybe we’re fighting too hard not to remember, fighting too hard not to regret. We can’t deny what we had, what happened. Don’t you think we can get past it? I can’t live in a vacuum while I’m here, Tessa. And Sean needs people around him who care about him.”
“Maybe I don’t want to care about Sean,” she confided. “Maybe it hurts too much.”
“Tessa,” he said gently, reaching out and touching her face, just like he used to when he was trying to comfort or console her. Her instinct was to back away, yet her heart was telling her not to move.
Could they move beyond the past?
“I came over to do more than thank you.” Vince dropped his hand. “Remember I said I was in touch with Ryder Greystone?”
“Yes, you said he’s on the Lubbock P.D.”
“He’s having a party tonight and invited me. He told me I could bring a guest. Would you like to go?”
Could she become friends with Vince? Could she get to the point where being together with him again was natural, not awkward? If he was going to be around town, she probably would see him and after all, Sean was her patient. But going to a party with him?
“Would this be a date?” she asked cautiously.
He tossed her a wry smile. “It would be whatever you want it to be.”
“Can I think about it and call you in a couple of hours?” She saw his frown. “Unless you’re going to ask someone else if I say no.”
“No. I’m not going to ask anyone else. A couple of hours will be fine.” After a look at her that told her better than words he was thinking about kissing her, he stood. “I’d better get Sean and take him home for lunch.”
As Vince turned to head toward the kitchen, Tessa clasped his forearm. “I don’t want to jump into anything I’ll regret.”
“I understand, Tessa, believe me I do. But it’s just a party. We’re simply going as friends. There doesn’t have to be more to it than that.”
Maybe that was true for Vince, but it wasn’t true for her. If she went to this party, she’d be saying “yes” to letting him back into her life. Would that be a foolish decision or a mature one?
She needed a few hours to figure it out.
Chapter Five
Beside Vince, at the door to Ryder Greystone’s house, Tessa wondered if she’d made a mistake by accepting his invitation. Vince had the rough appeal of a tough guy, always in control of himself in any situation. Yet the seductive appeal for her had always been his gentle hands and his tender heart. He only let that show, however, when he knew it was safe to do so. He was showing that side of himself with Sean and that’s what made him so hard to resist.
Ryder’s door suddenly flew open and the tall, good-looking cop stood there grinning at them both. “Well, well! Like old times. I told Vince to bring a guest but I never guessed it would be you.”
She and Vince had been awkward with each other in the car because this felt too much like a date. It didn’t help that he looked incredibly sexy in a black V-neck T-shirt and chinos. She didn’t need Ryder’s words to remind her what they’d been. “Not old times,” Tessa replied agreeably. “Just two friends running into each other and catching up.”
Vince tossed a quick glance her way at her explanation and took off his Stetson. “We both need some R & R and thought we could get it here.”
As if Ryder was suddenly aware of the tension between the two of them, he stepped back and motioned them inside. “There’s plenty to eat and lots of folks to mingle with.”
Vince offered his friend the box of imported chocolates he was carrying. “You can add this to the buffet.”
“Great. There aren’t any more classmates here, but, Tessa, you probably know a few of these people because they bring their kids to you.” He addressed Vince. “Some of the guys are here from the station, so you’ll have plenty to talk about. There’s music on the patio in case anybody wants to dance.”
Tessa was surprised by how many people were crowded into the small house.
Vince must have been thinking the same thing because he said, “You could get lost in here.”
A bit of the tension seemed to ebb between them.
“I haven’t stepped into a room where I didn’t know anybody for a long time,” she admitted.
“Not a partygoer?”
“Hardly. You know me, Vince. I focus on what’s in my life and don’t see much around it.”
“Do I know you, Tessa?” His gaze was penetrating, trying to see into corners where she didn’t want him to see.
The phrase had just slipped from her mouth and she chastised herself for not monitoring her words more carefully. “Some things about me haven’t changed,” she said honestly. “How about you?”
“The party scene was never my gig, but as far as walking into a room where I don’t know anybody, that happens a lot.”
“Investigating homicides?”
“Yeah.”
His brief answer told her that he didn’t want to talk about his years as a detective.
Then he looked thoughtful for a moment. “You have to deal with strangers all the time, don’t you?”
“You mean dealing with new patients? The funny thing is, they never seem like strangers. Focusing on their child gives us a bond.”
“You were always all about bonds.”
His voice was neutral and she couldn’t tell what he meant by that. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No. I was never like that until I met you.”
They’d both grown up without mothers but under different circumstances. Tessa had always missed her mother, even though she’d never known her. Her mom was like a piece that had been lost from her heart, and Tessa could never find it. That’s why she and her dad had stayed so close. But when Vince had lost his mother, apparently he and his dad had emotionally gone separate ways. She didn’t know if Vince had ever connected with anyone and held on for dear life. When they were teenagers, she’d thought they were holding on to each other.
But he’d let go.
A woman waved at Tessa from across the crowded room and she was grateful for the distraction.
“You know her?” Vince asked.
“She’s a medical secretary for one of the internists at Family Tree. Do you mind if I head on over?”
“Of course not. I’m going to rub elbows with some of the guys in the Lubbock P.D.”
As Tessa headed for the secretary, Vince went in the opposite direction. She breathed a sigh of relief. Being close to Vince put her on guard, kept her on her toes, urged her to protect her heart. Making small talk would be a wonderful break from that.
For the next two hours, as one conversation led to another, Tessa didn’t see Vince much, though she was aware of him at the far corner of the room talking with three men, then in a serious conversation with Ryder in the kitchen, and later loading his plate with a burrito and enchiladas. It was as if she had “Vince-radar” and couldn’t turn it off even if she wanted to.
The living room grew warmer in spite of the open windows and the screened sliding doors leading outside. Her wrap-around, silky, blue blouse felt almost molded to her back. She smoothed her hands over the thighs of her new jeans and excused herself from the conversation on the sofa. She needed fresh air. The colored lights drew her to the patio where the music had wandered from oldies to a salsa beat to everything in between.
As soon as she stepped onto the patio, she spotted Vince seated casually in a lawn chair, a tall bottle of water in one hand. Where most of the guys were drinking beer, he wasn’t. She wondered if he ever did and if not, was it because of his job? Or because of his father?
She was enjoying herself at the party, but coming with Vince? It was like she was with him, yet she wasn’t.
Purposely heading in the opposite direction from him, she stopped at the ice chest and was trying to decide if she wanted a soda or water when a hand clasped her shoulder. It was Vince’s. Years had gone by but not so many that she couldn’t remember what the touch of his hand felt like.
She turned, not knowing what to expect.
“Care to dance?” Vince asked in that casual way he had of making the important seem unimportant. There were couples all over the patio, some dancing, some sitting quietly in lawn chairs talking. The music had turned slow and dreamy and although the patio was covered with an awning, the black sky beyond was studded with stars.
“We’re at a party, Tessa. Dancing’s just part of it. No big deal.”
Right, it was no big deal to be held in Vince’s arms.
She walked into his hold and, for a few moments, silence pulsed with attraction they couldn’t deny was there. Unnerved by it, she said, “I guess you have a lot in common with the men here tonight.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You said you and Sean’s dad were friends as well as partners?”
“We were. We had each other’s backs. He was like a brother and when he married Carol, she was like family, too. She was family. I spent more time at their place than my own. And when Sean was born—I’d just come off a shift and was waiting at the hospital with Scott. I got to see Sean shortly after Scott did. He came out and got me.”
Tessa could hear the huskiness of emotion in Vince’s voice, and she realized how deeply he’d cared about his friends and about the baby who’d become his son.
“So Sean has no other family?”
“Only his great-aunt. I’m not sure what to think about her. I have to take pictures of him this week and send them to her. I suppose it’s better to stay in touch than not.”
Vince went quiet as they swayed to the music, in unison stepping to the left, to the right, front and back, his strong body intimately guiding hers. She shouldn’t let the intimacy happen. She closed her eyes, feeling burdened by the past, uncertain in the present.
His hold tightened and she opened her eyes. They’d come to the edge of the patio. Glimmers of light streaked the border of the flagstone.
Vince urged, “Come with me for a minute. I want to ask you something.”
He held her around the waist as they stepped off the patio onto the gravel and he tugged her around the side of the house. The moon was three-quarters full and her heart pounded with excitement. What could Vince want to ask her?
He stood close, as close as they’d been when they were dancing. “What do you feel when you see me with Sean?”
That wasn’t what she expected, though she didn’t know what she’d assumed Vince would ask. Did he think that pulling her into the shadows would help her give him a more honest answer?
“Vince, we shouldn’t leave the party. Everyone’s going to wonder—”
“No one’s going to miss us and you know it. There are too many people here for anyone to notice. Answer me, Tessa. What do you feel when you see me with Sean?”
She didn’t want to look at Vince, she really didn’t. She’d blocked thinking about how she felt with very good reason. Now with his question, she couldn’t block the emotion anymore. She could picture Vince bringing Sean into her office the first time, how she’d noticed right away how comfortable the baby was in his arms, the tender expression on Vince’s face. The night he’d called her to his condo, he’d been so worried. Before he’d put Sean to bed, the baby had nestled into his shoulder, knowing safety. And when he’d brought Sean to the house—
Her chest tightened and her throat almost closed, but not altogether. She managed to say, “It hurts, Vince. It hurts so much. I see our baby, our son, and I just ache.”
The tears came so fast she didn’t have the opportunity to blink them away. They rolled down her cheeks and caught on her chin.
Then Vince was holding her, his hand on the back of her head. He was stroking her hair, his lips at her temple.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry.”
Her breath hitched, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d let herself cry like this.
One hand still on the back of her hair, Vince leaned away slightly and raised her chin with his thumb. A car door slammed.
The chatter of the party was just around the corner. The music smoothed into something bluesy and Vince’s mouth came down on hers. She was seventeen again, and he was everything she’d always wanted. The sweep of his tongue was possessive, and she kissed him back as if time and fate and distance hadn’t kept them apart.
Then as suddenly as she was overcome by his kiss, she rejected it. She rejected him and tore away.
“No! No, this isn’t happening. This can’t happen. I won’t let it. You’re here now, but you’re going to be leaving again. I have a life here, a life I want. I’m going to—”
She’d almost told him she was going to adopt a child, a child who needed her and a home just like Sean needed him. But she couldn’t confide her most important dream to him, not when she’d just confided her deepest hurt. She did not want this closeness or need it. She’d only be hurt by it. She knew that because she’d been hurt by him once before.
She tried to turn and run, but he held her by her shoulders.
“Stay still, Tessa. Stay still. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to do anything. I never should have started this here, but I knew you didn’t want to be alone anywhere with me. I knew you’d never let me start this conversation if I didn’t spring it on you now.”
“And what good did it do, Vince? So now you know I hurt every time I see you with Sean. What good is that?”
“It’s honest.”
She inhaled slowly and then let her breath fade out of her mouth. “I’m going to go home. I can get a ride with someone.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll drive you. I’ve had enough party to last me a while.”
They both had. Maybe tomorrow she could put this in perspective, but right now she couldn’t.
Sitting with Vince in his SUV, Tessa was grateful when his cell phone rang. The silence between them practically rippled in its intensity, but she knew nothing either of them could say would break it.
“Rossi,” he barked into his phone after he put it to his ear.
Tessa listened as he asked tersely, “When did it happen?” A pause. “Where?” Another pause. “I’m on my way, ETA ten minutes.” He glanced at Tessa as he put his flashers on and sped up. “There’s been an accident over on Route 82. Teenagers. I’ve got to get there. I can have an officer take you home.”
“Don’t worry about that. I might be able to do something to help.”
“Emergency services was called. The paramedics were dispatched. They’ll probably be there when we get there. But if you can help, too, I’m sure everyone will be grateful.”
“How many kids?”
“Six, from the eyewitness account. Let’s hope it’s not more.”
She knew better than to ask any questions about the accident. Until they were on the scene, nothing was for sure. Her stint in emergency medicine had not been one of her favorite rotations. She’d treated sullen gang members from drive-by shootings, knife wounds, heart attacks, strokes, and a multitude of other injuries and ailments. What she’d disliked most about the E.R. service was that there never had been any follow-up, not by her. If possible, patients were dispatched to their family doctor’s care. Many didn’t return to the E.R. The ones who did saw whichever doctor was scheduled for that day. Now Tessa looked forward to follow-ups, to the resolution of patient care.
“Are you often called out?” She knew Vince had a lot of administrative work to handle.
“If something major happens. If other jurisdictions are involved. I have to make sure protocol is observed and everything’s done by the book.”
“Mrs. Zappa will watch Sean for you without any notice?”
“Without any notice.”
Five minutes later they drove up to the scene. Red, blue and white flashing lights practically illuminated the sky. Both cars from the accident were smoking, twisted pieces of metal. They looked older, possibly with no air bags, probably fixup cars like Vince’s truck had been.
She and Vince both jumped out of his SUV. He headed toward one of his officers. Tessa aimed straight for the paramedic in charge. She usually carried her medical bag wherever she went but tonight she didn’t have it. Tonight she’d wanted to forget she was a doctor and just be a woman.
But she should have known that wasn’t possible.
While she spoke to the medical responders, one ambulance pulled away, sirens blaring.
“We’re waiting for two more ambulances,” the EMT told her. “Two kids in the back of one car and one in the other weren’t wearing seat belts. We’re transporting them first.”
“Where do you need me?” she asked.
He motioned to two teenagers stretched out on the ground, blankets covering them, and IV lines already running. “Check on them and make sure vitals are stable. The girl has a broken leg. The guy’s shoulder is dislocated. Then you might want to check on the three kids talking to the police. They said they were okay but after an accident like this, we’ll want to examine them anyway.”
After inspecting the injured teenagers where an EMT monitored them, Tessa made her way toward the berm away from where the firemen were dealing with the crash vehicles. Three more teenagers were huddled there, blankets around them, while Vince and one of his officers spoke with them.
She asked Vince, “Are you finished with any of them?”
“Start with Linda,” he suggested gently, gesturing to the blond teenager to the right of the other two.
She crouched down beside Linda and asked quietly, “Are you dizzy? Short of breath? Anything like that?”
Linda shook her head.
Tessa asked her to scoot down a few feet from the others so she could take her pulse and her blood pressure with the cuff she’d lifted from the paramedic’s van.
“I’m worried about Amy,” Linda said, her voice catching. “Is she going to be all right? They took her away in an ambulance. After the crash, she wouldn’t answer me when I called to her.”
“Once we transport your friends to the hospital, we’ll know better how they’re doing. Now I just want to make sure you don’t have to go there, too.”
The wail of sirens was almost earsplitting. Two more ambulances pulled into the crash site and screeched to a halt. Tessa knew scenes like this were parents’ worst nightmares. She just hoped everyone here would be returned to their family safe and sound.
Tessa stayed at the scene long after the ambulances had pulled away. Someone handed her a cup of hot coffee and she sipped at it to stave off the slight chill. She’d heard bits and pieces from officers’ conversations as well as emergency personnel. The kids in one car had been drinking. They had run a red light and slammed into the other car. She wouldn’t want to be doing what Vince was doing now, making calls to the kids’ parents.
Then he was on the move again, striding toward her fast.
“I have to get to the hospital and talk to the parents of the kids who were most seriously injured. John will take you home.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Why?”
“Because I know the parents of the girl who was most seriously injured, Amy Garwin. I treat her younger brother and sister. I might be able to help somehow.”
The wide brim of Vince’s hat shadowed his face. She couldn’t really see into his eyes.
“All right,” he finally agreed, “but I have to ask some tough questions. Don’t get in the way of that.”
“I won’t.”
After a studying moment, he nodded, and they hurried to his SUV.
At the hospital, Vince questioned the two teenagers who were injured but conscious and spoke with their parents. He was aware of Tessa at first consulting with medical personnel, then conversing quietly with Amy Garwin’s parents. The mom was crying and her husband’s arm circled her.
Vince’s stomach clenched and his chest grew tight. When he’d inquired about Amy’s condition, the nurse had told him the teenager was not conscious and tests were being run. He didn’t want to intrude on her parents at a time like this, but he had to talk to everyone at some point. That’s just the way it was.
Tessa was seated in a chair across from the couple. He introduced himself, then consulted his notepad.
“You’re Mr. and Mrs. Garwin?”
The couple nodded, the petite redhead holding on to the arm of her husband.
“Do you have to do this now?” Tessa asked in a low voice.
“I’m afraid I do. How is your daughter?” he asked Mrs. Garwin.
Her eyes brimmed with tears. “She’s not waking up. They can’t make her wake up.”
“They’re doing an MRI,” Mr. Garwin explained. “That’s why we’re waiting here.”
Respecting what they were going through, Vince kept his interview short. After all, Amy hadn’t been driving. She’d been one of the passengers in the backseat of the tan sedan, not wearing her seat belt.
When he finished with the Garwins, he consulted with a paramedic who had first arrived on the scene. Tessa and the couple disappeared.
Vince sank into one of the chairs to review his notes, to make sure he hadn’t left anything out or forgotten details. The insurance companies were going to have a field day over this one and he wanted to make sure every i was dotted and every t crossed. Besides, it kept him from thinking of the teenager who wasn’t waking up, the girl who would be having her leg set, the boy with the dislocated shoulder. One carful of kids had been doing what they were supposed to do, driving home after a pool party with friends. The other carload of kids had been drinking. He wanted to slam his fist through a wall, just like he’d wanted to do some of those nights when he’d come home and found his dad drunk on the living room floor. But he’d learned long ago to channel his anger into something more productive.
He stood when he saw Tessa walking toward him. It was hard to believe mere hours ago he’d been holding her in his arms. She’d felt good there…too damn good. Was that why he’d messed up the evening with his question? What had he intended to accomplish by making her voice the pain they’d both experienced?
“Are you finished here?” she asked, glancing at his notebook.
“For now. I can drop you off on the way back to my office. I want to do the paperwork while it’s still all fresh in my mind.”
“You go ahead. I’m going to stay here for a while with the Garwins.”
“What did the tests show?”
“Amy has a severe concussion. Now we just have to wait and hope.”
Vince’s grip tightened on the notebook. “I can’t imagine being in their position. Elective surgery with Sean is bad enough.”
“Amy was in the car with the kids who weren’t drinking. If she’d only had her seat belt on—”
Vince shook his head. “You can tell them what to do and teach them right, and still this kind of thing can happen. Why would anyone want to be a parent?”
“You tell me,” Tessa suggested softly.
“I’m sorry, Tessa. I shouldn’t be talking about this with you.”
She brushed her hair over her shoulder and gave a shrug. “I have to face these kinds of conversations a lot with the parents of the kids I treat. I manage to detach most of the time. I understand what you’re saying, Vince, but you already know the other side of it. You know the deep joy of having Sean grip your finger, of holding him in your arms, of seeing him smile. There’s no way to prevent the heartache. You can only hope the joy outweighs it.”
He was reminded again of how strong a woman Tessa had become. She wasn’t the teenager who had looked to her father for support and comfort. “How are you going to get home?”
“I know many people here. There’s a nurse up on Amy’s floor whose shift ends in a couple of hours. She’ll give me a ride back to Sagebrush.”
“And if something happens and you decide to stay the night?”
“Then Francesca or Emily will come and get me. Don’t worry about me, Vince. I’ll be fine.”
In other words, she didn’t need him. He’d take her at her word.
She glanced over her shoulder at the elevator. “I’d better get back up there. Thanks for inviting me to the party tonight. I don’t socialize as much as I should.”
“We’re going to talk about what happened.”
She shook her head. “There’s no need to talk about it.”
Her voice was sure of her conclusion, yet in her eyes he saw a flicker of uncertainty. No matter what she thought, they had something to finish.
“Sean’s appointment with Rafferty is this week. I’ll let you know if we’re going ahead with the surgery.” He slid the pen he’d been using into his pocket. “Take care of yourself, Tessa.”
“I will,” she murmured.
He turned and walked away first. But as he exited the hospital, leaving didn’t feel right…just as leaving hadn’t felt right twenty years ago.
Chapter Six
On Friday afternoon, Tessa was between patients at her office when the receptionist peeked around the inner door. “You received a call from Vince Rossi. He asked if you’d phone him at your earliest convenience.”
Tessa knew Vince wouldn’t call without a good reason. He would just leave a message on her home phone if he wanted to…invite her to another party? Talk? Try to finish something that would never have an end?
No, if Vince was calling her here, he had word on Sean.
Taking out her cell phone, she slipped into her office and shut the door. His number was one of the few on her call list. She hit Send and waited.
He picked up on the second ring. Without preamble, he said, “Dr. Rafferty believes surgery will give Sean full use of his arm.”
“That’s wonderful! How soon does he want to do the surgery?”
“Next Tuesday—early.”
Vince didn’t sound overjoyed or relieved, and she guessed why. At his continued silence, she asked, “Vince?”
“He’s only seven and a half months old, Tessa. The idea of anesthesia scares me as much as the possibility that surgery might not go well.”
She understood his concerns, but she also knew Vince needed to stay as optimistic as possible for Sean’s sake. “Don’t borrow trouble. Dr. Rafferty’s one of the best. You’ve got to be positive about this and not let Sean feel your fear.”
He was quiet for a moment, then asked, “And just how am I supposed to keep from worrying?”
She knew Vince would never admit he was afraid. “You can worry, just don’t let it show. Think about Sean catching a baseball, throwing a pass, lifting a fork with his right hand. See those pictures in your mind and don’t let go of them.”
“Is that how you get through the tough times? You imagine good outcomes?”
“As often as I can.”
“You would have made a good cheerleader,” Vince joked.
“I wanted to try out, but…” She stopped, not delving into that territory.
“But your dad wouldn’t let you because of the short skirts?” Vince guessed.
“Something like that. I think he was more afraid I’d climb to the top of one of those pyramids and then break something. You can’t let your concerns hold Sean back.”
“I know that. Right now I’m trying to decide whether or not I should tell his great-aunt that the surgery is scheduled. I could just wait until it’s all over.”
“Wouldn’t you want to know?”
“I’m not sure. I can save her worry if I call her after the fact to tell her it was successful.”
“On the other hand…”
“On the other hand, Janet is his only living relative. She deserves to know what’s happening with him,” he admitted to himself and to her.
Caring about both Vince and Sean in spite of the warnings she’d given herself, Tessa offered, “Would you like me to come to the hospital Tuesday morning? I have office hours in the afternoon and evening.”
“Only if you want to.”
Want to. Need to.
Tessa wasn’t sure what was going on with her and Vince, what was in the past and what was in the present. But from her experience as a pediatrician, she knew how parents felt when their children went to surgery. They usually had family support. Vince and Sean were alone.
“I’ll find you after rounds.”
“I’ll understand if you get tied up, Tessa.”
When she closed her phone, she knew she was getting involved again. She couldn’t help herself. But she’d make sure her defenses were firmly in place. She’d make sure she kept her heart safe.
Vince was determined to stay by his son’s side while the nurses prepared him for surgery. For the most part, they let him. He touched Sean often—a hand on top of his head, fingers stroking his baby arm, his expression as calm and serene as he could make it for his son. For a while, he had no idea that Tessa was standing in the doorway watching him, but when he looked up, there she was.
She was all business today, in green linen slacks, a cream blouse, with a white lab coat over it all. A little of his attention slipped from Sean to her. She made his heart jump, damn it.
Tessa crossed the room and stood beside Vince, smiling at the nurse who was putting a little paper cap on Sean’s head.
“They have to take him now,” she murmured to Vince, meeting his eyes.
Had Tessa known how very difficult this moment would be? Vince wrapped his fingers around Sean’s little hand. Tessa must have understood his sudden panic because her expression was full of empathy.
“Trust Dr. Rafferty,” she encouraged him.
“This isn’t just about putting my trust in a surgeon,” Vince returned in a low voice. “It’s about Sean being separated from me, the one anchor he’s got in this world right now. It’s about any pain he might experience. If I could go through this instead of him, don’t you think I would?”
As his gaze held Tessa’s, so many emotions rushed through him. Even though they’d been teenagers at the time, they’d known each other as intimately as a man and woman could. That intimate knowing was still there whether or not either of them wanted to admit it.
Tessa succumbed to it as she stepped closer and clasped his arm. “You have to see the outcome in your mind. You have to believe Sean will handle surgery easily, heal quickly and have use of his arm for years to come. Concentrate on that, not on the rest.”
When she released his arm, Vince wondered if he’d deluded himself about a bond between them. Tessa must have given this same speech to countless parents. “This is old hat for you, isn’t it?”
A shadow of vulnerability passed over her face. “Never. Believe me, Vince. Seeing one of my patients go into surgery is never easy and it never ‘doesn’t matter.’”
“You’ll burn out, caring so much,” he predicted, again pushing away pictures of the shy seventeen-year-old she’d once been.
“You mean I’ll burn out if I don’t stop caring, so I should detach myself and walk away? I can never be that kind of doctor. For me to help people, compassion is as important as skill. And I’m not so different from Francesca and any other doctors who work at Family Tree and in this hospital.”
The nurse, also wearing a paper cap and scrubs, said to Vince, “I have to take him now.”
Vince knew this wasn’t life-and-death surgery, but he also knew anything could go wrong. He concentrated on the picture of Sean throwing a baseball, touched his son’s cheek, whispered to him, “I love you. I’ll see you soon,” and then stepped back from the gurney.
Tessa gently touched Sean’s cheek.
As the nurse pushed the gurney down the hall, Vince balled his hands into fists and all of his control held him back from running after the stretcher.
Tessa touched him lightly on the shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get some coffee.”
Vince focused on her, thinking coffee was the last thing he needed. His stomach was burning with worry.
Then she made another suggestion.
“Or we could go to the chapel.”
“I was in a church for Scott and Carol’s funeral. That was the first time since I was a kid. My next-door neighbor had taken me when I was around eleven.”
“It’s a place to find peace and comfort,” she offered in a quiet voice that wasn’t coaxing but rather sure.
“Do you still go to church?” She had when they were teenagers.
“Yes, I do. Every Sunday. The same church I was christened in.”
How had they ever gotten together with their different backgrounds, with their opposite lifestyles? “All right,” he agreed. “We can try the chapel, but I doubt if I’ll worry any less while we’re there.”
Ten minutes later, they were seated in the pews and Vince didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He glanced at Tessa and saw she had folded her hands in her lap and her eyes were closed.
If he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, maybe he could relax…if nothing else. He tried it but without much success.
Tessa must have sensed his restlessness. “Do you ever just go outside at night and look up at the sky and feel the…immensity of everything?” she asked softly.
He knew what she was getting at. “I think that’s why I stayed in Albuquerque. The sky there—during the day and at night—just seems to lift you up. The cliffs and the mountains even more. Sometimes I’d just stop by the side of the road, get out of the car and stand there in the sun looking into the sky, or into…I don’t know, something much bigger than me.”
“Can you think about that now? Can you think about the best for Sean and you?”
“Are you saying that’s praying?”
“Yes, I think it is.”
Their shoulders were touching, and so were their hips and thighs. But at the moment, he wasn’t revved up because he desired Tessa. He was revved up because this closeness, this talking about something as intimate as prayer seemed so right. Tessa amazed him. There was always a deeper place he could go with her, where he could always find what he needed.
He did as she suggested and, in a while, realized his breathing had slowed. Hope for Sean’s future drove the fear from him.
After a while, they both sat back and he covered her hand with his. “Thanks for being here.”
She gazed at him but said nothing. He knew that was best. They were just here in the moment and that’s the way it had to be.
Dr. Rafferty was somber as he stepped into the waiting room later Tuesday morning after Sean’s surgery.
Vince stood immediately, Tessa close beside him. He was grateful she’d gotten him through this three-and-a-half-hour waiting time by talking about Sean, pulling stories from Vince about his stint in the Air Force, relating how she and Francesca and Emily had met and lived in a house together. She’d kept conversation rolling to keep him from thinking.
Now, with her elbow brushing his arm, he felt Sean had two champions no matter what happened.
The surgeon strode to Vince and nodded. “The nerve reconstruction surgery went well. I also removed scar tissue that had been blocking nerve signals. I believe Sean will be one of the fortunate ones, if you’re willing to be patient.”
“I can be patient,” Vince assured the doctor with rough emotion in his voice.
“What will be the recuperation time?” Tessa asked.
“His arm will be in a soft sling for about three weeks. Then he can start physical therapy. But we won’t see results for four to six months and it could be years until he has full use of his arm.”
“Can we see him?” Vince asked, needing to know his son was really okay.
“You’ll be able to see him in recovery in about a half hour. After he’s alert and his vitals are good, we’ll settle him in a room.”
A short time later they were standing by Sean’s crib. Tessa crouched down on one side and murmured to the little boy. Sean responded with a smile and a babble.
“What did you tell him?” Vince asked.
“That he’s the best little boy in the whole world.”
Vince crouched down at his son’s other side and Sean turned his face to his dad. “We’re just going to treat this like a great adventure. ou won’t be alone from now on, cowboy. I’m staying here with you tonight. We’ll be together until you come home.”
Vince couldn’t tell if Sean understood or not, but his son reached for Vince’s hand.
Tessa stood gazing at both of them. “I’m glad you’re staying tonight. Sean will feel safe and protected…and loved.”
“I hope so. Sometimes it’s easier to know the right thing to do than at other times.”
Tessa’s and Vince’s gazes locked.
The beeping of the automatic blood pressure monitor interrupted the sweep of memories that always seemed to suck them in.
The sound gave Tessa the opportunity to turn away and check her watch. “I’d better go. If I start office hours on time, I might finish at a decent time. When I get finished, would you like me to bring you takeout?”
“That would be great. I probably won’t want to leave him.”
“I can imagine what you’re feeling, Vince, but when Sean naps, take a break. You need to take care of yourself, too.”
He was staring at her over his son’s crib, thinking about the two of them together…the two of them taking care of Sean together. Was that too crazy to hope for?
“Do you care if I take care of myself, Tessa? Do you care about Sean’s outcome as more than his doctor?”
They were in a corner of the recovery room with medical personnel stationed at the other end.
“Vince, this isn’t the place—”
“Isn’t it?”
Her eyes were wide with a vulnerability she rarely showed him.
“I care about you and Sean. Maybe too much.”
Tessa believed those were the words he needed to hear right now. Her denial had ended because they were true. Maybe after this crisis, they could figure out how involved they were going to be in each other’s lives.
Tessa peeked into Sean’s hospital room at nine o’clock that night, gripping two take-out bags. Vince had pulled a chair over to the crib and laid his hand on his son’s arm. The tableau touched Tessa deeply and she gripped the bags a little tighter. Just what had she admitted to Vince this afternoon? What had he deduced from it?
She entered the baby’s room now and spotted the recliner that had been rolled in so Vince could stay the night. He was unaware of her presence until she tapped him on the shoulder.
He went still for a moment, then rose from the chair. “I’m losing my instincts,” he said gruffly. “I should have sensed you coming.”
“All of your attention is on Sean. I can understand why you didn’t.”
He shook his head. “That’s no excuse.” He inhaled deeply and smiled at the bags in her hand. “Is that food?”
She grinned back. “I don’t know what’s going to happen if you eat enchiladas this time of night, but I know they’re your favorite. At least they used to be. You haven’t sworn off of them, have you?”
He laughed. “No.”
Handing Vince the bags, she went to the crib and looked down at the baby. “Has he been awake?”
“On and off. He fell back to sleep a little while ago. He’s been through a lot. I’m just grateful Rafferty thinks the surgery was successful.”
“Remember, the improvement will happen slowly.”
“I know. I’ll be patient about it. I have no choice.”
Tessa was close to Vince and she liked the sensation of her shoulder bumping his. Vince had always made her feel safe and protected and cared for. Until—
Until he’d been silent and uncommunicative when he’d visited her in the hospital. Until he hadn’t objected to her going home with her father.
She couldn’t help but lean over Sean and whisper in his little ear, “I hope you’re having sweet dreams, baby. You deserve good dreams from here on out.”
Tessa could feel Vince’s gaze on her and she swallowed hard. Turning toward him, she said, “I’m sorry I’m so late. I had an emergency and then patients got backed up.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Tessa. You don’t even have to be here.” He raked his hand through his hair. “Sorry, that didn’t come out the way it should have. I just mean…I cornered you in the recovery room today. I’m surprised you came back.”
She admitted she cared about him, but she wasn’t going to tell him she couldn’t keep away. “Come on, let’s eat. There’s a taco salad there for me.”
With a vinyl chair pulled near the recliner, they ate in the dimly lit room, the hospital noises outside the door seeming far away. A nurse came in to check on Sean and then departed once more.
After Vince had downed the enchiladas and half of his soda, he said, “I’ll probably take Sean home late afternoon tomorrow. In the morning, the physical therapist is going to show me exercises for his wrist and thumb and fingers. It will be a few weeks before we can do anything with his shoulder.”
“Are you nervous about taking him home?”
“Not nervous. Just concerned he’ll need something and I won’t understand what it is.”
“Would you like me to come over tomorrow evening? I could just check and make sure everything’s okay.”
Vince studied her for a long time.
“What?”
“I’m going to owe you a few Texas T-bone dinners or a room full of flowers when this is all done.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
Again he was silent for a few moments, then he asked, “Will you answer a question for me?”
“Maybe. It depends on the question.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “I should have known.” Then he sobered. “You said you care about me and Sean. Is that why you’re here?”
“Does it matter? I help friends, Vince, and they help me. That’s the way small towns work. You know that.”
“Maybe I’d forgotten, or maybe I just never experienced small-town life the way you have. When my dad was passed out on the living room floor, I don’t remember anybody helping.”
She imagined him as a young boy, in a situation much too complicated for him to figure out on his own. “Did you ever ask for help?”
“Hell no! It was a matter of pride for both me and Dad.”
“So why are you accepting my help now?”
His expression changed, going from serious to much lighter. “Because you have great taste in restaurants,” he joked, pointing to the crumpled bags on the floor beside his chair.
“Vince.”
With a sigh, he ran his hand through his already disheveled hair. “I knew you wouldn’t let that pass,” he grumbled. Finally he admitted, “I’m not sure. Probably because you care about Sean. You care about babies and you know what you’re doing. Since you’re a doctor, Sean needs you to watch out for him. I’ll never deprive him of that, pride or no pride. I guess I’m learning that by being a parent, I can’t let anything stand in the way of what’s best for him.”
She knew that was the right answer, but maybe she’d wanted a different answer. Maybe she’d wanted him to say that he still felt connected to her on some level. Maybe she’d wanted him to admit that whatever was between them so many years ago wasn’t yet finished. Heck, she’d just admitted that to herself after their last kiss. She hadn’t wanted to consider it before. Denial was a great wall that could keep worries and complications at bay. The problem was—it was a wall that always crumbled.
Right now she was tired, not just physically tired, but emotionally drained. She’d worried along with Vince this morning and she knew she was becoming entirely too invested in Sean’s welfare, not to mention Vince’s life. But that would soon end. Sean would be recuperating and then Vince would be leaving. So if she wanted to play Good Samaritan or friend, there was no harm in that.
She wasn’t involved with Vince.
Her salad only half-eaten, she settled the lid on it and stuffed it into the bag.
“That wasn’t much of a supper,” he scolded.
“It was enough. I’ve got to get going or Francesca and Emily will send out the search dogs.”
“They don’t know where you are?”
“Not exactly. I just told them I wouldn’t be home until late.”
After Vince pushed himself up from the recliner, he took his empty bag and dumped it in the trash can. “Are you taking that home to finish it?”
When she shook her head, he took the bag from her and tossed it into the can on top of his.
“If you had your choice, which would you pick? Flowers or the steak dinner?” he joked.
She rolled her eyes.
“Humor me.”
Would she choose the safety of flowers, or the complication of a dinner with Vince? That’s what he was really asking, wasn’t it?
“I like flowers,” she decided, taking the safe route.
“That’s good to know.” His gaze was trying to turn her inside out. Before it did, she moved toward the door.
She stopped before exiting the room. “You can call my office tomorrow and let me know when you’re home. I’ll be there until after five.”
“Will do.”
The light was too dim to read his expression.
As she murmured, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” and left the room, she heard him call, “Drive safely.”
She had taken safe roads up to this point in her life. Were safe roads really what she wanted?
That was a question better left unanswered for now. That was a question that was better left unanswered until after Vince left Sagebrush.
When Tessa arrived at Vince’s condo around seven o’clock, Mrs. Zappa was still fussing in the kitchen. The housekeeper had opened the door to Tessa and exclaimed, “Maybe you can make him eat!”
Tessa wasn’t sure if Mrs. Zappa was talking about Vince or Sean. In fact, she’d never been introduced to the housekeeper and wondered how Mrs. Zappa knew who she was. “I don’t think we’ve met,” she began.
“Oh, I know who you are. You’re Walter McGuire’s daughter and you were once married to Vince.” Conspiratorially, she leaned toward Tessa. “I’ve never told him I know, but I do.”
Tessa had to smile in spite of herself. “Do you think he’d be uncomfortable if he knew you knew?”
“You know men. They like to keep their life private. If he wants to do that, it’s fine with me. I’m not going to poke where I’m not wanted. He only let go of that boy to get a shower since he brought him home from the hospital, and now he’s holding him again. Vince needs to take care of himself, too. The casserole’s still in the oven. It’s going to be dry as toast if he doesn’t eat it soon.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Tessa assured her. “How is Sean?”
“From what I can tell, that little boy is doing fine. He ate his supper.”
Tessa laughed. “That is a good sign.”
Mrs. Zappa moved toward the door. “It was good to meet you, Dr. McGuire.”
“It was good to meet you, too, but please call me Tessa.”
“And you can call me Rhonda.” She gave a last wave and left.
Moments later, Tessa was standing outside Sean’s room. A small CD player on top of the chest played soothing music. Vince was sitting in the rocking chair with Sean asleep in his arms. He was looking down at his son as if he never wanted to look away.
“How’s he doing?” she asked softly.
Vince gently touched the sling on Sean’s arm. “As long as I talk to him and play with him, he’s not fussy. I guess it distracts him from any discomfort he’s having.”
“Rhonda says you need to eat your supper. Now would be a good time if Sean’s asleep, don’t you think?”
“Rhonda?”
“Mrs. Zappa. She told me I could call her Rhonda.”
He frowned. “Yeah, that was the name on her application. I’ve just never used it.” Standing with Sean in his arms, he carried him over to the crib and gently laid him down. “I hate to leave him. I don’t want him to wake up and be afraid, or think he’s still in the hospital.”
“You’ll hear him on the baby monitor if he cries. You’ve got to give yourself a breather, Vince. Have you even slept in the past two days?”
“I got a few hours’ sleep the night before surgery, and again last night.”
“In a recliner in Sean’s room.”
“It was comfortable.”
“Has anyone ever told you your stubborn determination can be frustrating?”
He smiled at her. “I’ve always considered it one of my better traits.”
When he smiled like that, she felt butterflies flutter in almost every part of her body. She was only here to help him with Sean. “I haven’t had supper, either. We can share Rhonda’s casserole.”
Tessa decided to serve their meal on the coffee table in the living room because Vince needed to relax. Maybe he would if the atmosphere was casual enough.
When he came into the living room and saw the two steaming plates, he admitted, “I think I am hungry. I had a sandwich from the cafeteria but that was a long time ago.”
“This looks great.”
Vince sat beside Tessa and dug his fork into the casserole.
They ate in silence for a few minutes until Tessa asked, “Are you going to work tomorrow?”
“I’m going in late. That way I can make sure everything’s okay with Sean and Mrs. Zappa—Rhonda—before I leave. I’ll stay late if I call home and everything’s okay.”
“You’re not going to call her every hour, are you?”
He gave Tessa a sideways glance. “How did you guess?” Then he smiled. “No, I’m not going to call every hour. I trust her. The doctor said the incision on Sean’s shoulder and the one on his leg looked good. I changed the dressings and Sean didn’t seem to mind too much.”
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