Falling For His Convenient Queen
Therese Beharrie
Can the Queen melt the King’s heart?King Zacchaeus’s plan to marry Princess Nalini was purely to secure the alliance between their kingdoms – but his bride has an ulterior motive! Nalini has no intention of settling for anything less than love…
Conveniently Wed, Royally Bound...
...until the queen melted the king’s heart
King Zacchaeus’s plan to marry Princess Nalini was purely to secure the alliance between their kingdoms—but his bride has ulterior motives! Nalini has no intention of settling for anything less than love, and she’ll enjoy every second of challenging the reluctant king to open his heart.
THERESE BEHARRIE has always been thrilled by romance. Her love of reading established this, and now she gets to write happy-ever-afters for a living, and about all things romance in her blog at theresebeharrie.com (http://www.theresebeharrie.com). She married a man who constantly exceeds her romantic expectations and is an infinite source of inspiration for her romantic heroes. She lives in Cape Town, South Africa, and is still amazed that her dream of being a romance author is a reality.
Also by Therese Beharrie
The Tycoon’s Reluctant CinderellaA Marriage Worth SavingThe Millionaire’s Redemption
Conveniently Wed, Royally Bound miniseries
United by Their Royal BabyFalling for His Convenient Queen
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).
Falling for His Convenient Queen
Therese Beharrie
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-07728-6
FALLING FOR HIS CONVENIENT QUEEN
© 2018 Therese Beharrie
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For my husband, who so graciously told me I could dedicate my books to other people sometimes, too. You’re my best friend, babe. This is your life now.
And for my father. Thank you for all you’ve done to get me here.
I love you both.
Contents
Cover (#uf1e73b33-1084-541b-bab1-3b5e2977edef)
Back Cover Text (#u41d8b8a1-eb45-5074-9c46-2ec20b78a77d)
About the Author (#ub4d5595f-bf8d-5d87-bbb6-db92d1c479bc)
Booklist (#ud49ff0bc-1f71-5b3b-a632-e279da4ad5a8)
Title Page (#u89a06ce4-b1d8-5ba6-a771-c44819bbd1ab)
Copyright (#u7af6b379-6f3d-5df5-8553-f8bf59fee53f)
Dedication (#u277bdca8-3e80-55a9-8a20-59b579c3d78b)
CHAPTER ONE (#u754c5f35-80de-5478-ab20-807f7d6394ca)
CHAPTER TWO (#u38164b13-78da-5fae-93dd-edb58beba1c8)
CHAPTER THREE (#u01822fa4-19a0-573f-8a00-df8be8647cbd)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u7bcfdbea-6cbf-59bb-9d99-16798284d36b)
CHAPTER FIVE (#ufc6f08b4-12ed-5853-838c-b4ec50e9547b)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u4afddf52-0381-5439-9a87-9451587daa31)
THIS WASN’T A MISTAKE. This wasn’t a mistake.
Princess Nalini of Mattan repeated the words to herself as she watched the castle she’d called home for the last twenty-six years fade into the distance. With a sick feeling in her stomach, she forced herself to look ahead.
The place that would become her new home—the castle of Kirtida—grew clearer as the boat she was on drew nearer. It was a large ominous-looking building that had her heart jumping and her mind replaying those reassuring words again.
‘We’re almost there,’ Zacchaeus’s voice sounded in her ear, and she shivered. It was as much because of the brisk sea air as it was the proximity of the man she was engaged to.
King Zacchaeus of Kirtida.
Mattan had been in an alliance with Kirtida and a third kingdom, Aidara, for centuries. It was called the Alliance of the Three Isles, and up until Zacchaeus had overthrown his father a few months ago, the three islands along the coast of South Africa had been united and strong.
Though there’d been a general concern about Zacchaeus’s actions, it had only grown alarming when Zacchaeus had refused communication with Mattan and Aidara after the coup. And then he hadn’t attended the State Banquet meant to affirm the alliance between the isles, and that alarm had spurred Nalini’s brother, King Xavier of Mattan, and the Queen of Aidara, Leyna, into action. They’d announced their engagement and a day later Zacchaeus had made contact.
Which was the reason she was currently on her way to a new home.
She angled towards him, and felt guilt hit her almost as hard as the attraction did.
His hair was dark, complementing the caramel of his skin and the slight stubble on his jaw. The lines of his face were serious, intense, and strikingly carved. If she hadn’t been intimidated by the clothing he’d chosen to wear—all black, and a clear show of power—she definitely would have been intimidated by his looks. Or, worse still, by the pull to that power. By the pull to those looks.
But she couldn’t ignore the guilt.
She couldn’t be attracted to this man. It couldn’t matter that his shirtsleeves were rolled up muscular arms, or that his trousers were perfectly moulded to powerful legs. Not when Zacchaeus had demanded that Nalini marry him before he would sign the papers affirming Kirtida’s place in the alliance.
And until those papers were signed her kingdom would be in danger.
‘I’ve had a meal prepared for us,’ Zacchaeus said as they arrived at Kirtida. He jumped off the boat and offered her a hand. She hesitated but took it, her lungs tightening at the unease that crept up her arm at the contact.
Because it was unease. The dull throb that had started when he’d touched her. The flash of heat. It was unease, she told herself again, but couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
‘I assume you’re hungry?’
‘You wouldn’t have to assume if you’d asked,’ she replied lightly, shaking off her discomfort. She’d made the choice to come to Kirtida. She’d chosen to save her kingdom by marrying Zacchaeus. The time to choose was over and, because of that, she needed to be civil with him. ‘But I’d love to eat something, thank you.’
Zacchaeus nodded and, after instructing that Nalini’s things be taken to the room she’d be staying in while they planned their wedding, told her to follow him. Goosebumps shot out on her skin as she entered the castle, but she straightened her shoulders.
The interior was a beautiful combination of old and new, its stone pillars rich with history and its wooden floors in a modern style.
He stopped in front of a room with a large dining table and, wordlessly, stepped aside for her to pass. As she did, the staff scattered to accommodate her at the table and, before she knew it, she was seated next to Zacchaeus. She waited a moment and then asked, ‘Is anyone else joining us?’
A shadow crossed over his face. ‘No.’
She nodded and then forced herself to ask her next question. ‘Your parents...are they... Do they still live here?’
The shadow darkened, and Nalini braced for him to tell her to mind her own business. But a few seconds later his face settled into a blank expression, and his brown eyes—a combination of honey and cinnamon that contrasted with the dark features of his face—met hers.
‘They’re still here, yes. I haven’t banished them, if that’s what you’re thinking.’
‘I’m not quite sure what to think, to be honest. I’m not familiar with what happens after a coup.’
Something flickered in his eyes and her stomach dipped. She shouldn’t have said it, she thought, but if she didn’t... Well, she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life biting her tongue. Or falling in line just because she’d been told to. Coming to Kirtida had been a way to escape that life. She wasn’t simply going to settle for another version of it.
‘They live on the royal property,’ Zacchaeus said, interrupting her thoughts. ‘Not in the castle.’
‘Will I see them?’
‘I’m not sure,’ he said impassively. ‘There might not be enough time before the wedding.’
‘Planning this wedding is going to take some time.’
‘I’m sure it will.’ He paused. ‘But let’s not pretend that you only want that time to plan a wedding.’
‘What do you mean?’
He lifted an eyebrow. ‘I know that you’re also here because you—or, more specifically, your family—want to know whether I really intend on signing the papers to confirm Kirtida’s place in the alliance.’
She told herself not to gape. Forced herself not to ask how he knew. Instead, she went for honesty. ‘You’re right. Except it’s me who wants to know. I’m the one marrying you to ensure that you sign.’
‘You have my word,’ he said, and she heard the sincerity in his tone. ‘Once Xavier, Leyna and I come to an agreement about the Protection of the Alliance of the Three Isles clause, you and I will marry and I’ll sign those papers.’
‘And if I don’t believe you?’ she asked softly, compelled by the voice in her head that warned her against trusting so easily. The voice that she’d ignored when she’d been younger.
‘That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?’ he replied. ‘To figure out whether you can?’ She nodded mutely. ‘Do that, then.’
The food began to arrive as he said the words, and she was relieved that she wouldn’t have to come up with a reply she didn’t have. But the servers did their work quickly and, before she knew it, she and Zacchaeus were alone again.
‘Your family,’ he said, reaching for the glass that held his wine. ‘They didn’t have anything to say about your plan? To organise the wedding from Kirtida and figure out whether you could trust me?’
She almost told him the truth. But that would have entailed admitting the displeasure of her mother and grandmother at her decision. It would have meant telling him about how they thought that she was being reckless—a description they’d used for her for the past nine years, despite her efforts to change that perception. How even her brother had thought that, and how she’d expected more of him.
No, the truth included a myriad of things that she didn’t want to think about, let alone tell him.
‘It made sense,’ she said instead. ‘Since, as we discussed over the phone, the wedding will be here, planning it on Kirtida was the logical decision.’
‘And you always make logical decisions?’
‘Does marrying a man I barely know sound logical?’
He smiled a slow, crooked smile that made him look even more dangerous. ‘Reasonable, then.’
‘It’s not reasonable either. Not for a normal person, anyway. But we’re not normal and so, in that sense, this is both logical and reasonable.’ She paused. ‘I also know your people have responded positively to the news of our engagement. So, if I’m here and they see their future Queen plan a wedding with their King, it could strengthen their support of this marriage.’
There was an uneasy silence after her words, and she frowned. ‘You don’t agree with me?’
‘So you told your family this and they agreed to let you come here?’ he asked, not answering her question.
The uneasiness began to swirl in her chest.
‘You’re wondering whether my brother sent me,’ she replied, ignoring the feeling. ‘He didn’t. He wasn’t entirely happy with this decision.’
‘Because he worried that I would find out why you were really here?’
Because he still sees me as an irresponsible teenager.
‘Why would he worry that you’d find out I wanted to know if we could trust you? There’s a reason you figured it out so quickly, Zacchaeus. It wasn’t meant to be some great secret.’
‘Why didn’t he want you to come then?’
‘Probably because he wouldn’t be able to protect me.’ She nearly rolled her eyes.
‘He thought you needed to be protected? From me?’ Unhappiness flashed across his face.
‘Do you blame him? You forced him to choose between protecting his baby sister and protecting his kingdom.’
‘But he chose his kingdom.’
‘No, I chose our kingdom.’ She watched him carefully, and wondered at the emotion she couldn’t quite read on his face. ‘Xavier didn’t want me to do this. Not as a king, but as a brother. He didn’t want to have his sister marry a man he wasn’t sure he could trust. So when I told him I would come here, plan the wedding and see whether we could trust you, he didn’t like it, but he understood.’ And because it seemed as if he needed to hear it, she repeated, ‘This was my choice, Zacchaeus.’
‘Why? Why would you choose to marry a man you barely know?’
She frowned at the rush of answers that came to mind, none of which was appropriate to tell him. ‘You didn’t really give us a choice. Your actions over the past few months have shown us exactly what you’re capable of. So when I said I chose this, I just meant that it wasn’t Xavier who did. There is no real choice when it comes to protecting our kingdoms, is there?’
She watched a stony expression settle on his face and felt her frown deepen. He looked so unhappy at everything she’d just said. As though it was news to him. As though he wasn’t the one who’d started—forced—it all.
‘You’re right, there isn’t,’ he answered her quietly. ‘Which is why we’re in this situation in the first place.’
‘Because Macoa threatened Kirtida with sanctions?’
He nodded. She waited for an explanation to follow—any explanation, really, as to why an ally of Kirtida and the alliance had suddenly made threats after years of working together peacefully.
‘Why?’ she asked when he didn’t continue. ‘I mean, I know that’s why you want the alliance’s Protection clause updated before we get married. Before you sign to reaffirm the alliance between our kingdoms. You want protection against international allies like Macoa to be included in the agreement too. But why do you need that protection? Since—’ she hesitated, and then forced herself to say it ‘—since I’m going to be your wife, I’d like to know.’
‘It’s complicated,’ he said simply. Darkly.
‘I’m going to be Queen to your people, Zacchaeus. Don’t you think that’s enough to share details about complicated matters with me?’
‘You’re not Queen yet,’ he replied. ‘And when you are I’ll tell you what you need to know.’
‘What you think I need to know, maybe.’ She clenched her jaw and then forced herself to relax. ‘The least you could do is tell me why I’m here.’
‘You know why you’re here, Nalini.’ His eyes were sombre. ‘Without our marriage, there’s no guarantee that Kirtida’s place in the alliance won’t be undermined by Leyna and Xavier’s marriage. By the bond that that will create between Mattan and Aidara.’
‘I’d like to know the real reason. The one that had you calling us after you found out Kirtida might not be protected as well as Mattan and Aidara were if Leyna and Xavier married.’
Again, silence followed her words. This time she couldn’t help the muscles that tightened in her shoulders.
‘There’s still no guarantee, you know,’ she reminded him. ‘There won’t be until you sign the papers affirming Kirtida’s place in the alliance.’
‘And you know my conditions for doing that. After the negotiations to protect our kingdoms. After our marriage.’ He tilted his head. ‘Are you hoping I’d tell you I’d sign before either are in place?’
‘Of course not.’ But there had been a part of her that had hoped for exactly that.
‘So you’re not looking for a loophole? You haven’t realised that you’ve made a mistake after this conversation with me?’ He leaned forward, making her briefly notice the food they’d otherwise forgotten. ‘You don’t want to return to the safety of Mattan?’
‘I’m safe here,’ she said, her eyes darting towards the door where her Mattanian guards—who would continue protecting her as Queen of Kirtida—stood.
‘That wasn’t what I meant.’
‘I know.’ She fell silent. ‘I think this will work best if you just say what you mean, Zacchaeus, and don’t expect me to guess.’
He nodded and met her gaze. ‘I’m not going to change my mind, Nalini. You’re going to marry me.’
She didn’t look away. Though the trembling that had gone through her heart at his words made her want to, she didn’t. This was her life now. And this life had been her choice.
She thought of the teenage girl who had once been so filled with hope. Who’d thought that taking a chance on a boy would finally bring her the freedom she’d craved. She thought about the girl who’d had that hope dashed so quickly—so heartbreakingly—that she hadn’t wanted to make another decision for herself since.
Until now.
Nalini reminded herself of that. She wasn’t the girl who hoped for love or sought freedom any more. Who rebelled and made stupid mistakes. But that was still how her family saw her. The mistake she’d made when she was a teen had completely changed their view of her. More importantly, it had changed her view of herself.
When she’d told Xavier she would marry Zacchaeus, she’d seen it as a chance to make up for that mistake. To prove to herself and to her family that she was more.
Considering their reactions to her decision, she knew she hadn’t succeeded in making them believe that yet. But if she stayed—if she went through with this marriage—she would be saving her kingdom. Her family would have no choice but to see her as responsible.
And she could finally, finally stop trying to convince them that she was.
‘In that case, I suppose this time is even more important for us, isn’t it?’
CHAPTER TWO (#u4afddf52-0381-5439-9a87-9451587daa31)
‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN?’ Zacchaeus asked his fiancée, watching her closely. ‘I thought this was already important.’
‘That’s why I said even more important,’ she answered brightly. ‘Since we’re going to be married, we should use this time to build a foundation for this marriage. Preferably one of mutual respect.’
He didn’t answer. It was the second time she’d said something about the two of them spending time together. Getting to know one another. But, just as he had the first time, he brushed it off. There would be none of that.
Even if he was fascinated by her.
She’d covered it up quickly, but Zacchaeus knew that there was something more to what she’d just said. Something that proved his suspicions that she wasn’t just marrying him to protect her kingdom. Which would make complete sense. She was sacrificing her entire future for Mattan. Would she really do that without having some other motive?
And yet, since that was exactly what he was doing, why couldn’t she?
‘Do you agree?’ she asked, her eyes steady on his.
He got caught in them for a moment, and almost found himself telling her that he did. But he stopped himself. Forced himself to focus. Reminded himself that just because those blue-grey eyes, those full pink lips, those dark curls with its light streaks, painted a picture he couldn’t bring himself to stop looking at—had never been able to—didn’t mean he should forget why she was there.
He’d already told her too much. Like the fact that his parents—or rather his father—still lived on royal property. He’d panicked when she’d asked about seeing them, though he was sure he’d answered her without letting her know how much her question had alarmed him.
Because when she’d asked he’d pictured her seeing his father and realising the former King of Kirtida was ill. He’d pictured her asking about his mother and finding out that the Queen had left over two months ago. That somehow she’d learn about how the coup had been staged because of his father’s ill health and that the threat against his kingdom was his mother’s fault.
No, he couldn’t afford to be distracted by how beautiful she was or by the bright light she carried within her. So he would remind them both of why she was there—and it wasn’t to get to know one another.
‘I agree that our marriage is important.’ He paused so that his next words would have the impact he needed for her to understand. ‘For the sake of our kingdoms.’
‘But not for our relationship?’
‘We don’t have to have a relationship to be married.’
His parents had proved that to him, hadn’t they?
But the silence that followed his words told him that she wasn’t happy with his answer. And the longer he waited for one from her, the more the tension grew between them. He remembered for the first time then that they were supposed to be eating. But he couldn’t even distract himself by doing that since he knew that their food had gone cold.
‘What will the next few weeks look like for us then?’ she asked eventually, breaking the silence.
‘Well, you’re here under the pretence of planning our wedding, so you should probably do that.’
‘Alone?’
‘Yes.’
‘And what will you be doing?’
‘Negotiating the Protection clause with your brother and future sister-in-law.’
There was a pause. And then she asked, ‘So you expect me to spend all my time planning a wedding?’
‘I’ve already given you my word that I’ll sign the documents when the time comes, Nalini. The other reason you’re here isn’t really necessary.’
‘And I’m just supposed to believe you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why can’t you do the same then? Believe that I’ll marry you after the papers are signed, I mean.’
‘Because there’s more on the line for me. This is my entire kingdom.’ And what was left of his family, he thought, his throat tightening. ‘I can’t just take your word on it.’
She stared at him. ‘Do you hear yourself? Do you hear the hypocrisy in what you’re saying?’
He shrugged as though her words didn’t affect him. ‘You agreed to the terms of this situation, Nalini. We haven’t discussed the one you’re proposing now, and I haven’t agreed to it.’
Her eyes flashed, making them more grey than blue, and he felt a dangerous—and unwanted—tug of attraction. ‘So not only do you expect me to accept that you’ll do as you say, but you also won’t even give me a chance to figure out whether I can trust that you will?’
‘What would change if you realised you couldn’t trust me? Would you return to Mattan?’
Something flickered in her eyes. ‘It would change things.’
‘Would it? So you’d tell Xavier and Leyna that you can’t go through with the wedding and put the entire alliance at risk?’
‘It’s interesting how you’ve turned this around. How you’ve made risking the alliance sound like it isn’t something you’ve been doing from the moment you refused to see Xavier and Leyna after you became King.’ She leaned forward. ‘Like you aren’t holding us hostage now and still doing it.’
She was right. But he couldn’t afford to think of it that way. If he did, he’d have to pay heed to the emotions circling inside him like sharks around prey. He couldn’t allow them to attack. Not when the threat of them had been propelling him forward, helping him to focus on what Kirtida needed.
He’d been telling the truth when he’d told her he had more on the line than she did. He’d somehow managed to convince Xavier and Leyna that they needed him just as much as he needed them. But that wasn’t true. Zacchaeus needed them more.
If Macoa acted on the threat of economic sanctions, it would cripple Kirtida’s economy. Worse still, his people would no longer have the wheat so many depended on for their livelihood. Without Mattan and Aidara adding weight to any retaliation, Kirtida would be forced to give in to Macoa’s demands.
And giving in would kill his father.
It wasn’t an option.
‘It might not change what I’d do,’ she continued now, her voice no longer heated with the passion she’d just spoken with. ‘But it would make me feel better about marrying you. So, I’ll ask one more time. Will you spend time with me?’
‘I’m a king. I don’t have time—’
‘Make time,’ she insisted. ‘Make time to get to know the woman who’s going to be beside you while you rule your kingdom.’
He so badly wanted to say yes. Not only because something about her made him want to give her exactly what she asked for, but also because saying yes would mean that he wouldn’t have the much harder task of avoiding her. Of pretending that he didn’t have secrets to keep from her. Like his father’s illness, his mother’s fleeing—and the mess his mother’s actions had left for him to clean up.
But he couldn’t say yes. Not when spending time with her would put all those secrets at risk. He ignored the reasons he felt that way—ignored the beseeching expression on Nalini’s face that had just as much of an effect on his chest as her beauty did. No, he thought. He couldn’t spend time with her.
‘I’m sorry, Nalini. I can’t agree to that.’
* * *
‘You can’t agree to spend time with me?’
Nalini’s heart thumped in her chest as she said the words, a sick feeling settling in her stomach. She’d thought that when Zacchaeus had told her he knew she was on Kirtida to get to know him as well as to plan the wedding, it had meant that he’d been willing to play along.
Asking him to spend time with her had felt too much like begging, and now his refusal of her... It felt intensely personal. As if he could make time but wouldn’t because he didn’t want to spend it with her.
‘And you really think I’m going to spend all my time planning a wedding?’
‘I’ll have my secretary draw up a list of things you can do on Kirtida. You’ll be so busy you won’t even notice that you’re alone.’
She gave a short bark of laughter. ‘Has that ever worked for you?’
His eyes narrowed. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’
‘You’re alone here, aren’t you? Your parents don’t live in the castle and whatever relationship you had with them must have been spoilt the moment you became King. I can’t imagine you have any friends, and you’re holding your allies hostage. So tell me, Zacchaeus, whether you’ve ever been so busy that you haven’t noticed you’re alone?’
The expression on his face twisted with an emotion she couldn’t identify, and then went blank so quickly she doubted her eyes. But when he spoke the coldness in his voice told her she hadn’t imagined it.
‘If I agree to spend time with you, Nalini... What happens then?’ His brows lifted. ‘You’ve already told me you’ll marry me, and you’re implying that you trust me to act as we agreed by doing that. So what happens if you get to know me and it doesn’t make you feel better?’
‘It...it would—’
‘It might not,’ he interrupted mildly. ‘You already have all the proof you need to show you that I’m not a good man. I’ve overthrown my father to become King, so you know I’m power-hungry. My parents don’t live in the castle any more, so you know I’m cruel.’ He pushed away his plate and leaned his forearms on the table, angling himself so that she had no choice but to look into the arresting lines of his face. ‘I demanded that you marry me without even asking you how you felt about it, so you know I only care about what I want. Do you really want to get to know a man like that?’
‘You want me to see that man,’ she said, fighting to keep the panic she felt from her voice. ‘For some reason, you think it’s easier.’
‘No, Nalini. You’re the one who thinks this situation is easier than it is.’ He sat back now. ‘You’re hoping that I’m not that man, and that’s why you want to get to know me. But I’m sorry, I don’t have time to quell your fears. You told me you made this choice. And the thing about making choices is that you have to deal with their consequences.’
She suddenly wanted to scream at him, to tell him that she knew everything about choices and their consequences. She could still feel the girls pulling at her jewellery and clothes that night on the beach. She could still hear the boys laughing at her panic. Worst of all, she could still see Josh’s face as he laughed with them, the person who’d told her he’d keep her safe gone, leaving only the sick realisation that he’d never existed.
And then there was the way her family had reacted after...
The fact that she was on Kirtida, having this conversation with him, was her dealing with the consequences of her actions.
But, of course, she could voice none of that.
‘Fine,’ she said quietly. ‘I won’t waste my time trying to find some redeeming quality in you.’
She saw the surprise but it faded quickly. ‘Good. Because you won’t.’ With those words, he walked out of the room.
She sat there for a moment, not entirely sure what to do, and then stood. It took her another few minutes to figure out that she didn’t know where her room was, and was about to ask when a young woman came up to her.
‘Your Royal Highness, His Majesty King Zacchaeus has asked me to show you to your room.’
Nalini’s chest loosened in relief. ‘Thank you.’
She followed the woman—Sylvia—as her thoughts swirled around what had just happened. She had been so sure that Zacchaeus had wanted to say yes to her. That he would have said yes to her, but that he’d stopped himself.
Or had that just been in her mind?
She hated the uncertainty, that special kind of doubt that she hadn’t felt in nine years. Or perhaps the kind of doubt she’d felt every day for those nine years. But it felt more acute now, though that was probably normal. Nalini hadn’t made a decision of her own—not really—in that amount of time. She shouldn’t be surprised now, after she had, that she was being reminded of the fears that had stemmed from that fateful night.
She reminded herself that this decision had been nothing like the one nine years ago. Nalini had gone into this one with her eyes open. And yes, perhaps she’d hoped that Zacchaeus would be on the same page as her. That she could find some common ground between them so that marrying him wouldn’t be so completely terrifying. But now that she knew where she stood, she had to accept it.
She would accept it.
She murmured her thanks to Sylvia when they got to the room, and waited to be alone before she looked around. Like the rest of the castle, the room was a mixture of old and new. It was spacious, the walls and beige carpet no doubt old, but modernised by a king-size bed covered in white that matched the chiffon curtains. Large windows stood above a chaise longue and Nalini immediately opened them, breathing in the fresh sea air.
The day had changed, she noted. The sun had been eclipsed by clouds, the sky a grey colour that felt ominous. The water thrashed against the pier that was visible from her window, and when she leaned forward she could see the faint outline of the castle of Mattan.
The longing for home pulsed in her veins but she knew she couldn’t go back. Perhaps that was why the longing felt so desperate. If she went back she would be returning to a life she’d never thought she’d have. A life where she did everything that was expected of her just so that she could prove she’d learnt from her mistakes.
But she’d seen how her sister, Alika, and Xavier’s lives had turned out because they’d followed all the expectations of them. It had made them incredibly unhappy, and she’d dreaded that future for herself. But she’d been afraid to do anything about it. Because once, a long time ago, she had done something about it and it had broken her heart—and her dreams—in one night.
But when Xavier had announced his engagement with Leyna she’d been given a glimpse of a life she could have. And when she’d last spoken with Alika she had realised her two options.
On the one hand, she could choose to disobey her mother and grandmother to protect her kingdom. They might not be happy with her decision, but for the sake of Mattan they would accept it and acknowledge that it was a responsible choice.
At least that was what she hoped.
It was an added benefit that being on Kirtida would give her the freedom of making her own decisions. She could regain that excitement for life she’d lost so long ago. She could have her independence.
On the other hand, she could listen to them and stay. She could keep on living the life she’d been living. She’d marry a man her mother and grandmother had chosen, just like Alika had, and be unhappy. Just like Alika was.
Alika would never say it aloud, but Nalini knew her older sister. And though Nalini no longer expected love or happiness, she’d hoped for contentment at the very least. Alika had always accepted her fate without complaining. And sometimes Nalini wished she could be like that too. But she wasn’t. She knew that if she wanted her chance at contentment she couldn’t just accept, or do, what was expected. And Zacchaeus’s proposal—if it could be called that—had come at exactly the right time for her to act on her realisation.
So she’d gone for the first option. Which had brought her here. To an island where she knew no one except the man who had demanded that she marry him. Who was refusing to spend any time with her, leaving her completely alone.
But she couldn’t go back home.
A knock on the door roused her from her thoughts and she opened it to see Sylvia again.
‘Your Royal Highness, I’m sorry to interrupt. His Majesty King Zacchaeus has requested to see you in an hour.’
Nalini frowned. ‘Why?’
‘I’m not sure, ma’am. All he said was that he had a proposition for you. Shall I tell him you’ll be there?’
A proposition, she mused. From the man who’d turned down her own barely an hour ago.
Interesting.
‘Please do.’
CHAPTER THREE (#u4afddf52-0381-5439-9a87-9451587daa31)
‘YOU WANTED TO see me?’
Nalini’s voice pulled him from his work and Zacchaeus looked up to see her standing in the doorway of his library. She had changed from earlier and was now wearing black trousers and a white shirt. The shirt was loose, cut into a V at her neck, and gave him only the barest glimpse of bronze skin. It was in no way inappropriate and yet, by the way his body reacted, he could have sworn that she was hardly wearing anything.
‘Yes. Did you settle in well?’ he asked in a gruff voice.
‘Fine, thank you,’ she answered, her tone perfectly polite—cool, even—and so very different to the passionate tone she’d used earlier.
That was his fault, and he was helpless to change it. He’d acted exactly like the man he was trying to convince her he was. Power-hungry, cruel, selfish. And though he might not entirely be that man, he wasn’t who she wanted him to be either. In fact, he was probably closer to the man he’d told her he was than the man she wanted him to be.
Or did he just believe that because of how his parents had treated him?
‘Can I get you something to drink?’ he asked to distract himself.
‘No, thank you.’ She paused. ‘Why am I here?’
Right to the point then. Not that he could blame her. He gestured for her to sit and, after hesitating, she took the seat opposite him.
‘I was hoping I could talk to you about something my advisors brought to my attention.’
‘I’m listening.’
‘Well, they seem to think your suggestion that we spend time together... They think it’s a good idea.’
Her eyebrows rose. ‘Really?’
‘Yes.’
‘But...’
‘Publicly.’
‘Why?’
‘So that your soon-to-be people will get to know their future Queen, as you said.’ He swallowed, and wondered why he suddenly felt nervous. ‘They’ll get to see us together. The couple who will rule them. And it’ll help them become more comfortable with the idea.’
‘You had to have your advisors tell you that it would be a good idea?’
‘They had a good point.’
‘You just didn’t want to hear that point from me?’
He kept his mouth shut. Because he couldn’t tell her the truth. That he had thought she’d made a good point, but was worried that it wouldn’t turn out as positive as she’d made it seem. His kingdom had been...tense since Zacchaeus had become King and though they had seemed relieved that he was marrying Nalini, preserving the alliance between the isles, he didn’t want to tempt fate. Not until he had the chance to speak to his advisors.
‘So what would this entail?’
‘It would be a business agreement,’ he answered. ‘We’d make appointments to arrange things for the wedding. Together. Publicly.’
The time she took to respond had him holding his breath.
‘I had a conversation with Sylvia when you sent her to ask me here this evening. The woman who showed me to my room?’
‘Yes, I know.’
‘Just making sure,’ she said easily. Her expression gave nothing away. Unless, of course, it did, and he just couldn’t read it because he didn’t know her. ‘She was telling me how...challenging it’s been for the kingdom to accept their new King.’
He clenched his teeth. So much for not telling her about that. ‘You must have misheard.’
‘No, I don’t think I did.’ Her eyes darkened. ‘Clearly your advisors are trying to help you regain the trust of your people after the coup. And how better than a wedding? To remind them of the traditions of the royal family. Make them believe in fairy tales. Weddings are the start of something beautiful, hopeful, and seeing the King who ended the reign of their well-loved ruler—his father—at a new beginning might just make them more open to his new beginning. As King.’
‘You’re right. But I needed to check with them to make sure that what you were suggesting would work.’
He saw the surprise, but she only nodded. ‘That’s fair, I suppose.’
‘So you agree?’
‘I don’t exactly have a choice, do I?’ She clasped her hands together on her lap and he found himself saying words he knew he shouldn’t be saying.
‘You have a choice, Nalini. You’ll always have a choice here.’
Emotion filled her eyes before it was replaced by cool indifference. ‘Of course I will. I only meant that it wasn’t like I could return to Mattan.’ She blinked and quickly added, ‘Because it would put them in danger.’
‘That’s not what you meant.’
‘What else could I possibly mean?’
‘That’s what I’m asking.’ He studied her, noting that she was avoiding looking at him and knew his gut feeling had been right. ‘There’s more to why you’re here, Nalini, isn’t there?’
‘You didn’t exactly propose this arrangement as a question.’
‘Yes, but you’ve already told me you chose to do this. Tell me why.’
‘I have,’ she replied stubbornly. ‘I’m here for Mattan.’
‘And yet the more I get to know you, the more I think that isn’t the only reason.’
‘But since this is a business arrangement, as you said, I don’t have to tell you anything other than what I want to.’
Her face lit with the challenge, but there was a dullness in her eyes that...that bothered him. He couldn’t place a finger on why—wasn’t sure he wanted to—and instead he asked, ‘So, you agree then?’
‘Yes.’
‘Great. We’ll make appointments to plan the wedding. I’ll have my secretary arrange a schedule for us and I’ll send it to you for approval.’
She nodded. ‘Is that all?’
‘No, actually there’s one more thing.’ But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
‘You have something planned already, don’t you?’ Her mouth relaxed into what he thought was the beginning of a smile. His body tightened.
‘I don’t have anything planned. But there is...a plan. An appointment for us, really.’
‘What is it?’
‘An...engagement shoot. Tomorrow.’ Damn it, he felt foolish even saying it.
‘An engagement shoot,’ she repeated, and laughed. It was a soft, happy sound that made him think of a music box. ‘You must hate the thought of that so much.’
‘It has to be done.’
‘Of course,’ she responded in a grave tone that echoed his, but her eyes sparkled with laughter.
His lips twitched. ‘So, you’re fine with this?’
‘My schedule happens to be open,’ she said wryly. ‘Why not?’
‘Good.’ He frowned. ‘I didn’t expect it to be that easy.’
‘I’m here to serve at your pleasure, Your Majesty.’
It took some time for her to realise that she’d said something provocative, and when she did her eyes widened and colour flooded her skin.
‘I didn’t mean—’
He couldn’t help the smile now, even though his attempts at dimming his body’s reaction to her unintended suggestion had proved futile. ‘I know.’
‘It’s because you make me nervous.’
‘Why?’
‘I’m not entirely sure.’ She gave him a chagrined smile, but there was emotion on her face that paralysed him and he couldn’t look away. ‘Maybe it’s because today was the first time you and I have really spoken. The events we’ve seen each other at...’ Her voice faded and he quickly figured out why.
He’d kept himself apart from the Mattanian and Aidaraen royal families at those events. Oh, he’d greeted, had done his duty, but the ease that had always been between the two families hadn’t included him. Of his own accord, he knew, and realised that Nalini was referring to that one-sidedness he’d embraced. But he’d known what was at risk if he’d become one of them. His family’s most well-kept secret.
His mother’s affair.
‘Or it could just be because you’re a little scary, King Zacchaeus.’
Despite what he’d been thinking of, that drew a smile from him. ‘You’re not the first person to say that.’
‘No, I don’t imagine I am,’ she replied softly, and her mouth curved up in the smallest of smiles.
For the first time, Zacchaeus realised he was in trouble. No, he corrected, taking in what that smile did to the already lovely features of her face—and what it did to his heart rate. He’d known he was in trouble the moment he’d come up with the hare-brained plan to marry Nalini.
He’d convinced himself, just as he had Xavier, Leyna and Nalini, that it had been for the sake of the alliance. And, up until that moment, he’d believed that that was the only reason. Except now he remembered how often his eyes had strayed to Nalini at every event. How her smile, polite as it had been, had made it the tiniest bit harder to breathe.
He thought about how he’d felt after he’d left the discussion with Leyna and Xavier the day he’d told them of his plan—the anger at their responses, the fear that it would put Kirtida at risk—and how it had changed when he’d seen Nalini in the castle passage. He’d felt longing. Hope.
And he’d wished with all his might that his hare-brained plan would work just so that he could have that feeling for the rest of his life.
‘Does it bother you?’ she asked, studying him. For one irrational moment he thought she was asking about his feelings for her. ‘That people think you’re scary, I mean,’ she clarified, and he told himself to get a grip.
‘I don’t care what people think of me,’ he said in a cool tone, hoping it would have the same effect on his emotions. ‘What I care about is that they do what they’re supposed to do. What I ask them to.’
‘I’m afraid you might not entirely succeed in that with me.’
‘Yes,’ he answered wryly. ‘I didn’t think I would.’
‘Now you’re not the first person to say that about me.’
He rested his forearms on his thighs and leaned forward. ‘Do you mean Princess Nalini of Mattan was a problem child?’
‘Depends on who you ask,’ she said lightly, but all trace of humour disappeared from her face. ‘What should I wear for the shoot?’
The change in subject happened so quickly, so smoothly, that he had to take a moment to adjust. And, though he didn’t press, it intrigued him.
‘I’ve arranged for a few dresses to be sent to your room. You can choose whichever one you’d feel most comfortable in.’
She nodded. ‘Are we done?’
‘For now.’
‘Then I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She stood and smoothed the fabric of her trousers.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he repeated and got up with her. They stood like that as the seconds passed and then she finally walked to the door, but turned back before going through it.
‘One meal.’ When he lifted his eyebrows, she continued. ‘We’ll share one meal a day. You can choose whichever one you’d like.’
He wanted to smile at the brazen request—at the nerve—but all he gave her was a grudging, ‘Fine.’ She walked out then, and Zacchaeus’s eyes stayed on the door until he realised he had no reason to keep staring at it.
He walked to his desk and, leaning back in his chair, took in the view through the glass doors leading to his balcony. The night was clear, seemingly unaffected by the misery of the afternoon. And, as he had so many times before, he silently thanked the designer who’d made sure the furniture arrangement would give him an unobstructed view of the sea.
The stretch of water always gave him a sense of purpose and, right now, he had to accept that that purpose was to protect his kingdom. And protecting his kingdom meant focusing on the negotiations he was having with Leyna and Xavier and getting to his wedding day so that he would finally be able to sign the papers that would ensure it.
He couldn’t afford to be enthralled by his fiancée. He couldn’t even afford to like her—if he listened to his father. Jaydon had warned him against trusting Nalini, though Zacchaeus knew Jaydon’s warning had come from his own experience with Zacchaeus’s mother.
The woman who’d caused the drama he was currently dealing with.
Zacchaeus couldn’t even be glad that she wasn’t in Kirtida any more. Not when her departure had made his father’s already weak heart worsen. Not when her leaving was the reason that Zacchaeus had been forced into being King before he’d been ready. Not when she was the reason his kingdom was being threatened by sanctions—perhaps even by war—because Kirtida couldn’t give in to Macoa’s demands.
Not if Zacchaeus wanted to keep his father alive.
Perhaps not liking Nalini was the best route to go. If only he could figure out how...
CHAPTER FOUR (#u4afddf52-0381-5439-9a87-9451587daa31)
‘THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS,’ Zacchaeus grumbled under his breath, and Nalini grinned. It was impossible not to smile at his grumpiness, especially when she was quite enjoying herself.
‘Oh, stop frowning,’ she said. ‘Or people will think that you don’t really want to marry me.’
‘Or they’ll think I really hate pictures. Especially fluffy ones.’
‘Fluffy pictures?’ she repeated. ‘Are there cute, fluffy animals around that I haven’t seen yet?’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘Zacchaeus,’ she said, and took his hand as they walked down to the castle’s gardens where they would be taking the so-called fluffy pictures.
As soon as she realised what she’d done, she snatched her hand back—how had that felt so natural?—and gestured for the photographer to continue. She waited until the two of them were alone. ‘I know you don’t like this, but we have to make it believable.’
‘I thought I was doing a pretty good job.’
‘You were. But the pictures we just took were official ones, in the confines of the castle. Now we’re out here—’ she lifted her arms ‘—in the gorgeous garden of the castle, with the gorgeous trees and colours around us. You have to make more of an effort.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘Are you always this...optimistic?’
Her lips twitched at the disgust in his tone. ‘The quickest answer to that is yes.’
‘Even though they’re taking fake photographs to celebrate our fake engagement?’
‘It may not be the traditional way people choose to marry, but it isn’t fake.’ Nalini fought to keep her voice light, though he was dampening her enjoyment. ‘In fact, this is probably as real as it’s ever going to be for us.’
‘That doesn’t sound optimistic.’
‘Sometimes realism slips in before I get to shine it with positivity.’ But she sighed, and felt her mood turn to match his. ‘Look, the simplest way for us to get through this is to make it look genuine. No one would question our commitment if they look at the pictures and any onlookers will feel as though they’ve seen something worth looking at.’
She paused when they reached the path, and decided to tell him what she really thought. ‘That means you probably shouldn’t touch me like I’m some wounded animal you’d like to save but are disgusted by because you found it on the street.’
His lips curved. ‘That’s quite the vivid image.’
‘Yes, well.’ She sniffed. ‘I’ve always had a talent with words.’
‘So I’m beginning to see.’ He stared at her for a beat longer than she was comfortable with, and then nodded. ‘Fine. I’ll stop complaining.’ He pulled at the neck of the uniform he looked so dashing in with the words, ‘And I’ll pretend to be in love with you. Or, at the bare minimum, in lust.’
‘You just have to look as though you’re interested in me,’ she said quickly, not wanting to dwell on the way her heart skipped at the thought of either of those options. ‘So stop frowning, for heaven’s sake, and focus on the fact that it is a beautiful day. And that your kingdom will probably respond positively to your efforts.’
She hurried after the photographer then, afraid his teasing would turn into something else. She wasn’t worried that that something else would be physical. She had no interest in exploring that, no matter how attractive she found him. Or how he felt about her, she thought, remembering the heat in his eyes when he’d seen her in the blush knee-length dress she’d chosen for the engagement photos.
No, she was more worried about how he got her to reveal things about herself that she didn’t want anyone to know. Like the fact that she’d never told anyone that she felt like a problem child. Not even Xavier or Alika. Though she was sure that if she told them they wouldn’t be surprised.
They all knew about that day—as her mother liked to call it—which had really been the only time in Nalini’s life that she’d outright disobeyed her parents. But the consequences had been so far-reaching that it had tainted the years since. For her family and herself.
It was the reason she was on Kirtida, marrying a man she didn’t know for the sake of her kingdom. It was the reason she was trying so damn hard to make things work between them. She wanted to prove to herself—to her family—that it hadn’t been a mistake. That her hopes of changing their perspective of her, of her actions, would pan out. That she wasn’t just giving them another reason to think that she was reckless.
Not for the first time, Nalini thought of how much easier her life would have been if she’d been more like Alika. Willing to accept and obey. But she also knew that easy meant different things to different people. Yes, it meant less conflict and more safety. She knew because she had been more like Alika since that day. But it had also kept her living in a little box, so confined, so afraid that she’d felt as if the real her—the excited, happy her—had been whittled away slowly until she was only that way with her siblings.
And not because she wanted to be. Because she thought they needed it.
Even though it hadn’t been there before that afternoon, Nalini twisted the engagement ring on her finger as though the nervous habit had accompanied her all her life. She’d been surprised when Zacchaeus had offered it to her, but he’d done it so unceremoniously that she hadn’t had the chance to feel emotional about it.
Not that she would have felt emotional, she told herself. She didn’t expect love or romance any more—wishing for such things was foolish. She’d learnt her lesson with Josh, hadn’t she? Besides, she only had to look at her siblings to confirm it. Sure, Xavier’s life was a lot happier now that he’d found love with his one-time best friend, but he’d gone through plenty of heartache before he’d got there.
No, Nalini wasn’t interested in love or romance any more. What she was interested in was making sure her family knew that she’d changed. She also wanted autonomy in her life, and love wasn’t going to give her that. An arranged marriage, on the other hand...
She stopped when she found the photographer, and watched as he squinted against the late afternoon sun. The man had insisted that they take the outdoor photos then, though now Nalini wasn’t entirely sure he was confident in that decision. He cursed as he worked, taking practice shots of the stream that led down to a large pond.
‘Is it just me, or does it feel like we’re interrupting something?’ Zacchaeus’s voice sounded in her ear just as it had the day before, on the boat. Now, though, Nalini didn’t have the sea breeze to blame for the shiver that went up her spine.
But you’re not interested in acting on it, a voice in her head told her in a mocking tone that she didn’t appreciate.
‘Artists,’ she replied. ‘Temperamental creatures.’
‘That’s a broad statement.’
‘And not one I thought you’d call me on,’ she said with a smile. ‘I don’t think all artists are temperamental. I do think this one is, which is why we’d better get into that frame before it’s night and we have to do this again tomorrow.’
‘You’re right,’ Zacchaeus said and took her hand, dragging her to the stream. ‘Are we okay here, Stefan?’
‘Yes, sir, that’s perfect,’ Stefan answered, but took at least a dozen more shots before getting to them. ‘Could you please move closer together?’
‘I told you,’ Nalini murmured and took a step forward to close the distance between her and Zacchaeus. Her heart immediately thumped louder, harder, in her chest and she stopped before she touched him.
‘Why does it feel like you’re the one treating me like a disgusting wounded animal now?’ he asked, and placed a hand at the bottom of her spine. With little effort he pressed her against him, and her heart rocketed—out of her chest and, she was pretty sure, out of her body.
It hadn’t been like this before. Their official photos had been close, yes, but there she’d been at his side. There she’d held his hand, which wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be. But being face to face like this, their bodies aligned...
It made that attraction a lot harder to ignore. Especially since her mind chose to pay attention to the hard muscles of his body right at that moment.
‘Your Royal Highness, could you move closer?’ Stefan called from behind his camera.
‘Yes, Your Royal Highness,’ Zacchaeus teased. ‘Move closer.’
‘I think I’m close enough,’ she answered, but pressed her body a fraction closer to his.
‘Now smile,’ Stefan called again, and now Nalini felt as though the entire thing was ridiculous.
But she had to acknowledge that it was only ridiculous because she had to focus on making sure Zacchaeus didn’t think he was making her nervous while remembering to smile and to relax her body.
‘Turn your heads to face one another,’ Stefan asked after a few minutes, and Nalini held her breath as she turned back to face Zacchaeus. Without prompting, Zacchaeus slid his arms around her waist. Her breath caught, and Nalini wondered—illogically, she knew—what it would feel like if the action hadn’t been forced for the sake of the photos.
If it had been more...intimate.
The thought sent a wave of heat to her face and she ducked her head, hoping that Zacchaeus wouldn’t notice it. He banished that hope by moving his mouth to her ear and whispering, ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘You’re lying.’
‘I’m not,’ she said, her voice sharper than she intended.
‘Nalini.’
The tone of his voice had her looking up again.
And the moment she did she realised she’d made a mistake.
She hadn’t noticed before that his eyes held specks of light around the irises. It made his face less intimidating, she thought, and wanted to reach up to smooth the creases between his eyebrows to make it even less so.
‘That’s perfect!’ Stefan shouted, shocking her hands into immobility. ‘Now kiss!’
Her entire body froze as Zacchaeus’s eyes instantly changed from amused to something darker. To something more intense. Electricity crackled from them, hitting her with a voltage that woke all her nerves. It startled her, the intense response of her body to his.
And suddenly she became aware of how taut his muscles had become, how hers had responded. If she kissed him, if she just touched her lips to his, maybe that tension would ease...
Before Nalini fully knew what had happened, pain stunned the breath from her as she found herself on her butt. The bottom half of her body was completely wet from the water of the stream she now sat in. It took a moment for her brain to realise what had happened, but she didn’t fully have the time to contemplate it before she heard a splash of water.
‘Nalini, are you okay?’ Zacchaeus asked, crouching beside her.
‘I’m fine.’ She was pretty sure that she was, at least. ‘You shouldn’t be in here though. You’ll spoil your uniform.’
‘It’ll survive,’ he said wryly and offered her a hand. ‘Will you accept my help or are you going to ignore it to avoid touching me?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ she answered, though she hesitated before she took his hand. When she was standing, she looked down at her dress, no longer falling in an A-line around her hips but flattened to her sides. ‘I’ve spoilt this dress.’ She looked up at him. ‘You shouldn’t have come in and spoilt your uniform too.’
‘The uniform doesn’t matter, Nalini. Neither does your dress. But you do.’ His eyes searched her face. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘Of course I am,’ she replied, straightening her spine. Trying to maintain what little dignity she had left. ‘Besides my pride, I’m perfectly fine.’
‘I have to agree on that one.’
‘You do? Why?’
‘My pride’s tingling a bit too. After all, you did just fall into a stream to get away from me.’
‘That’s not what happened,’ she retorted, and then frowned. Was that really the reason she’d fallen into the stream? To get away from Zacchaeus? Now that the fogginess of the stun had cleared, she could remember taking a step back, away from him—no, she corrected. Away from kissing him. She hadn’t meant to make it obvious. She’d just wanted space to think, and to get away from the way her body felt when she touched him.
To get away from how her body had reacted to the prospect of kissing him.
Of course her attempt at subtlety had landed her on her butt in a stream.
At that moment her eyes took in their spectators, clamouring against the fence surrounding the garden, their faces a mixture of surprise and concern. The faces of those she could see, that was, considering the number of phones she saw capturing everything that was happening.
Stefan had a horrified expression on his face, although she had noted while Zacchaeus had been helping her that he’d still been taking photos. And then there was Zacchaeus’s face, wrought with concern and annoyance.
All of it should have embarrassed Nalini. And, she supposed, she would feel that way later, when she’d had time to process it all. But right then the only logical response she could manage started low in her belly, bubbling up her throat until she couldn’t control the giggles any more.
‘How are you laughing at this?’ Zacchaeus asked, his eyes wide.
‘Because...’ She told herself to stop laughing, to answer him, but the more she tried, the more she kept laughing. ‘It’s just...so...ridiculous!’ she managed between fits of laughter. ‘I’m sorry, Zacchaeus,’ she said, wiping a tear from her eyes. ‘I know this must seem like a terribly inappropriate response, but I landed on my butt trying to get away—’
She broke off at the deep sound that came from the man in front of her. He was laughing. Time ticked by, and still he laughed. The shock of seeing Zacchaeus laugh lasted only a few more seconds before she found herself joining him. She wasn’t sure how long they laughed together—she didn’t even care that there were witnesses to their momentary insanity. And when the laughter faded there was a sparkle in his eyes that had never been there before.
It made those light flecks in his eyes that she’d only just noticed even more visible. Again, she wondered how she’d missed it, and felt unsettled, like a speck of dust that had been blown away.
‘It’s no wonder you don’t laugh very often,’ she murmured softly. ‘You’d have the entire female population falling at your feet.’
CHAPTER FIVE (#u4afddf52-0381-5439-9a87-9451587daa31)
ZACCHAEUS TILTED HIS HEAD, acknowledging—but refusing to dwell on—the warmth that went through his body at her words. ‘Is that so?’
Though her cheeks pinked, she nodded. ‘I think so.’
‘Because my laughter is so charming?’
‘Because it makes you look...like a man,’ she said. ‘Not like a king.’
Caught by the picture she was painting, even though he knew it would only start trouble, he asked, ‘Does no one notice the man when he’s a king?’
‘No,’ she said softly, her eyes following the hand he didn’t seem able to control as it swept a piece of her hair from her face. ‘People look at the deeds of a king. That’s how they notice his heart.’
‘Which means people think I have no heart,’ he said before he could stop himself.
He paused and gave himself a moment to stuff the emotions he was feeling back into the box he’d created in his mind especially for them. It was harder than it generally was, and he ignored the inner voice telling him it was because of the woman in front of him.
No, he told himself. His feelings were just becoming harder to cope with because there had been so many of them over the last months. Feelings about his mother’s affair, about her leaving. About the demands she and her lover in Macoa were making of Kirtida. About his father’s illness, and the fact that he’d forced Zacchaeus to pretend to overthrow him...
There had been no time to deal with them—no time to even think of them. But a part of him warned that he would have to face them at some stage. And that if that time didn’t come soon, they might just bubble over, forcing him to deal with them.
Though it left a sick feeling in his stomach, it helped him remember he couldn’t think of himself as a man—however tempting it was, he thought, looking at the woman who drew him in unlike any other. He was a king. Which was why he had to ignore the betrayal, the sadness, the hurt swirling around inside him because of his parents.
Which was why he had to refuse the attraction he felt towards the woman in front of him. He had to focus on his kingdom. He had no other choice because he was King.
And a king shouldn’t be standing in a stream with his fiancée, laughing at something that could be misconstrued.
‘We should probably get out of here,’ he said, keeping his voice devoid of emotion. And keeping his heart devoid of it too, when it wanted to react to the way her face fell.
‘You’re right,’ she said after a few moments and aimed unsettlingly cool eyes at Stefan. ‘Can you make do with what you have, Stefan? I’d prefer not to repeat this process.’
It was a jab at him, he thought. And it hit its mark.
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Stefan rushed forward now and helped Nalini out of the stream. ‘I will edit these pictures immediately and have them sent to the castle for approval.’
‘Thank you,’ Nalini answered as she stepped onto the grass. Water ran down her legs—long and shapely in the heels she wore—and Zacchaeus had to force his eyes away from them to look for someone who could assist them.
He strode to the nearest staff member he saw and requested that towels be brought to them as soon as possible. When he returned to Nalini and Stefan, Nalini was thanking the photographer again in a voice significantly warmer than the one he’d heard her use before he’d left.
‘I’m sure the pictures will come out beautifully,’ she said before turning to him. Her eyes went cool again, and something chilled inside him as well.
He told himself that it had nothing to do with the fact that she was filled with light and happiness. That her laughing at something that she could have found embarrassing had been so authentic that he thought it was the first time he’d seen a glimpse of the real Nalini.
Which had him wondering why she thought that she needed to hide the real her.
He shook his head, grateful for the distraction of being brought the towels he’d asked for. He took them and handed one to Nalini.
‘You should dry off.’
‘I’d prefer to have a shower,’ she answered, but took the towel and rubbed it over her legs. She slipped out of her heels and dried her feet and, though he was tempted to keep watching her—what was it about her legs that was so captivating?—it reminded him that his feet were wet too.
Like her, he wanted a shower. And dry clothes and shoes. Since he’d angled his body so that she would have some privacy from the onlookers, he couldn’t dry himself off as she was doing. Yet he was hesitant to leave.
That burst of light he’d seen from her had been so refreshing—and so completely different from the perpetual darkness he’d felt shroud him since the night of the State Banquet. Since before then, he knew, thinking about his mother.
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