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Sydney Harbour Hospital: Bella's Wishlist
Emily Forbes


Enter into the world of high-flying Doctors as they navigate the pressures of modern medicine and find escape, passion, comfort and love – in each other’s arms!Confined to her hospital bed, shy Bella finds the only things keeping her vital signs in check – and giving her hope for the future – are regular visits from Charlie Maxwell, SHH’s most charming doc. Charlie’s no stranger to crushed dreams, but Bella’s living on borrowed time. Suddenly, making Bella’s deepest wishes come true is Charlie’s only priority!










Sydney Harbour Hospital

Sexy surgeons, dedicated doctors, scandalous secrets, on-call dramas …

Welcome to the world of Sydney Harbour Hospital

(orSHH… for short—because secrets never stay hidden for long!)

In February new nurse Lily got caught up in the hotbed of hospital gossip in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: LILY’S SCANDAL

by Marion Lennox

And gorgeous paediatrician Teo came to single mum Zoe’s rescue in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: ZOE’S BABY

by Alison Roberts

In March sexy Sicilian playboy Luca finally met his match in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: LUCA’S BAD GIRL

by Amy Andrews

Then in April Hayley opened Tom’s eyes to love in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: TOM’S REDEMPTION

by Fiona Lowe

Last month heiress Lexi learned to put the past behind her …

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: LEXI’S SECRET

by Melanie Milburne

This month adventurer Charlie helps shy Bella fulfil her dreams— and find love on the way!

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: BELLA’S WISHLIST

by Emily Forbes

Single mum Emily gives no-strings-attached surgeon Marco a reason to stay in July:

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: MARCO’S TEMPTATION

by Fiona McArthur

And finally join us in August as Ava and James realise their marriage really is worth saving in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: AVA’S RE-AWAKENING

by Carol Marinelli

And not forgetting Sydney Harbour Hospital’s legendary heart surgeon Finn Kennedy. This brooding maverick keeps his women on hospital rotation … But can new doc Evie Lockheart unlock the secrets to his guarded heart? Find out in this enthralling new eight-book continuity from Mills & Boon


Medical


Romance.

A collection impossible to resist!

These books are also available in eBook format

from www.millsandboon.co.uk


Welcome to the world of Sydney Harbour Hospital

(orSHH… for short—because secrets never stay hidden for long!)

Looking out over cosmopolitan Sydney Harbour, Australia’s premier teaching hospital is a hive of round-the-clock activity—with a very active hospital grapevine.

With the most renowned (and gorgeous!) doctors in Sydney working side by side, professional and sensual tensions run sky-high—there’s always plenty of romantic rumours to gossip about …

Who’s been kissing who in the on-call room? What’s going on between legendary heart surgeon Finn Kennedy and tough-talking A&E doctor Evie Lockheart? And what’s wrong with Finn?

Find out in this enthralling new eight-book continuity from Mills & Boon


Medical


Romance—indulge yourself with eight helpings of romance, emotion and gripping medical drama!

Sydney Harbour Hospital

From saving lives to sizzling seduction, these doctors are the very best!


Recent titles by Emily Forbes:

GEORGIE’S BIG GREEK WEDDING?

BREAKING HER NO-DATES RULE

NAVY OFFICER TO FAMILY MAN

DR DROP-DEAD-GORGEOUS

THE PLAYBOY FIREFIGHTER’S PROPOSAL

These books are also available in eBook format from www.millsandboon.co.uk




Sydney Harbour

Hospital:

Bella’s Wishlist

Emily Forbes















www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


To Marion, Alison, Amy, Fiona, Melanie, Fi and Carol.

Thank you for making this such a wonderful experience.

It was an absolute pleasure working with you all!

And to Lucy and Flo, thank you both for all your hard work

in making this series something we can all be proud of.




PROLOGUE


‘LEXI, please, can’t you do this for me?’ Bella Lockheart begged her younger sister.

Bella was feeling dreadful. Her chest was hurting and every breath she took was a struggle. Her temperature was escalating with every passing minute and it felt as though her forehead was on fire. She wanted to be upstairs, in bed, not sitting at one end of her father’s massive dining room table that comfortably seated eighteen people. She wanted to close her eyes and sleep. The only reason she’d agreed to meet with her sisters was because she wanted the chance to try to persuade Lexi to do this one thing for her.

Lexi was sitting at the head of the table with Bella on her left and their older sister Evie on her right. Evie had joined them at Lexi’s invitation to begin planning what Lexi described as ‘Sydney’s society wedding of the decade’ and, knowing Lexi and her talent for planning events, her wedding to cardiothoracic surgeon Sam Bailey would be one of the most spectacular events Sydney had witnessed for some time. That was unsurprising really—Lexi had plenty of experience as she was employed by her father’s multi-million-dollar empire to run the events side of his company, and Lexi generally got what she wanted. Bella had some doubts about whether Sam was as keen on the idea of a huge wedding as Lexi was but if she’d learnt anything about Sam since he’d proposed to her sister it was that he wouldn’t sweat the small stuff, and if an enormous wedding made Lexi happy, that’s what she would get. Their father would never quibble either; nothing was ever too much trouble, expense or fuss for Lexi. Richard loved an extravaganza as much as Lexi did.

Bella knew the only way to get Lexi to move quickly on the wedding was to play the only card she had. ‘I want to see you get married and the longer you wait the less chance I’ll have of being there. Please.’

They all knew the odds of Bella seeing her next birthday weren’t good but Bella had never played this card before. Not with her father, who had pretty much ignored her for her entire life, or with her mother, who couldn’t cope and had replaced her family with bottles of gin, or with her sisters, who had always been there to support and protect her. But she figured if there ever was a time to play this card, it was now.

As Bella watched Lexi, waiting for her response, she was aware that Evie had stopped flicking through the pile of bridal magazines and was watching them both. The highly polished wood surface of the antique table reflected their images. The golden highlights in Evie’s brown hair shone in the surface of the table and Lexi’s platinum-blonde hair glowed in the reflection, while the dark auburn of Bella’s curly locks was absorbed into the wood, making her seem dimmer in comparison. A sigh escaped Bella’s lips. Seeing herself as a duller reflection of her sisters was nothing new. She’d had twenty-six years to get used to the idea that she wasn’t as beautiful, intelligent or amusing as her two sisters, although she hoped that her kind heart went some way towards redeeming her character.

Not that it seemed to count for anything as far as her parents were concerned. She’d given up trying to mend those relationships, although she was blowed if she would give up on her sisters. They were the most important people in her world and she did not intend to miss out on seeing her younger sister get married. She had to convince Lexi to set a date for her wedding and make it soon. She’d missed out on an awful lot of things in her relatively short life and there was no way she was going to sit back and miss out on this. Lexi had to listen to her.

‘You only need a month and a day to register. You could be married before Christmas,’ she insisted.

‘I need time,’ Lexi replied.

Time. The one thing Bella didn’t have. She knew that. Lexi knew it too, so why wouldn’t she agree?

‘Time for what?’ Bella countered. ‘I can’t see why you’d want to wait. If I had the chance to get married, I’d grab it.’

All three of them knew what a romantic Bella was. Her favourite pastime was watching romantic movies, comedies, dramas, anything, as long as it had a happy ending. It was looking increasingly unlikely that she would get her own happy ending so she had to enjoy other people’s. She adored weddings, she’d been glued to the television for the most recent British Royal wedding and avidly followed the lives of modern-day princesses in the magazines. But her own sister’s happy ending was bound to be so much better than anything she could watch on television. Surely Lexi couldn’t deny her this?

‘I want time to find the perfect dress,’ Lexi said.

‘I’ll design you the perfect dress.’ Normally Bella would offer to make it too, but she knew she’d never have time to design and make a wedding dress, not if she wanted the wedding to take place this year. In a parallel universe her dream was to be a fashion designer and to see her sister walk down the aisle in something she’d created would be the icing on the cake for a roman tic like her. But she’d have to settle for designing the dress and have someone else make it. Their father would probably fly Lexi to Hong Kong or even Paris to get it made. Money was no object. Richard Lockheart was phenomenally wealthy and Lexi was the apple of his eye. Everybody knew that.

‘Look,’ Bella said as she opened the sketch book that was lying on the table in front of her. Her sketch book was never far from her side. She turned some pages and then spun the book to face Lexi. ‘I’ve already started.’ The large page was covered with half a dozen wedding dresses—a halterneck, a strapless version, some with full skirts, some in figure-skimming satin. ‘You just need to tell me which bits you like and I promise you’ll be the most beautiful bride but, please, don’t wait too long. You know time is running out for me, Sam told you that. If you won’t listen to me, would you at least listen to him?’ Bella paused to catch her breath. She could feel her chest tightening and could hear herself wheezing. ‘What do you think, Evie? You agree with me, don’t you?’

‘I think you have a valid point but it is Lexi and Sam’s decision. It’s their wedding.’ Bella would have argued if she’d had the breath to spare but the end of Evie’s answer was partially drowned out by a coughing fit. Bella’s slim frame shook with each spasm.

Lexi stood up. ‘I’ll get you a glass of water.’

‘It’s all right,’ Bella replied as the coughs subsided and she caught her breath, ‘I can get it.’ She pushed her chair back from the table and stood. She looked at Evie and dipped her head slightly towards Lexi, silently imploring Evie to intercede on her behalf. She knew Evie would understand the signal. Having spent so much of their life relying on each other, all three sisters could read each other instinctively.

‘Perhaps you should talk it over with Sam,’ Bella heard Evie suggest as she went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water and mix up her salt replacement solution. She was feeling quite feverish now and she knew she was in danger of dehydrating more rapidly than usual if she was running a temperature.

Evie waited until Bella had time to reach the kitchen and be out of earshot. As so often happened, her younger sisters deferred to her to solve any difference of opinion between them. At five years older than Bella and seven years older than Lexi she had taken over mothering duties at the tender age of nine when the girls’ mother had walked out and left them with their father, to return only sporadically over the ensuing years. There had been a succession of nannies, with varying degrees of success, and Evie had adopted the role of mother and still maintained it twenty-two years later. Evie never minded the responsibility but she did wonder why she needed to act as referee in this case. Why was Lexi so resistant to Bella’s request?

‘What’s the problem, Lex? You know Bella’s right. She might not be around in six months. Why do you want to wait?’

Lexi’s deep blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears. She fidgeted with Bella’s sketch book, which lay on the table in front of her, absentmindedly doodling on the clean pages. ‘I can’t think like that. I can’t stand the thought of Bella not being here.’

‘That’s why I think you should consider getting married sooner rather than later.’

‘But what if we set a date that’s soon and Bella gets sick again? She could be in hospital on the day of the wedding. Or what if she’s in surgery? If I wait until Bella is okay, we’ll all get a happy ending.’

‘But Bella might not get her happy ending. You know that, don’t you?’ Evie said gently. ‘If you wait, Bella might not be there anyway. She’s only asking you for one thing.’

Lexi was shaking her head. ‘But if I give in then that’s like admitting I think she’s not going to make it. I don’t want to think about her dying. I can’t.’

Evie knew Lexi hated the idea of death. She’d been through one traumatic loss already in her life, when she’d terminated a pregnancy, and that made this situation more difficult for her. But she couldn’t let her sister bury her head in the sand. Evie had to get her to face reality. ‘Please, just agree to talk to Sam about it. If you set a date and you need to change it to accommodate Bella, is that such a big deal? It’s certainly not impossible.’ Sam knew what Bella’s chances were better than anyone, Evie thought. As Bella’s specialist and Lexi’s fiancé, maybe he would have more success in persuading Lexi.

Before Lexi had a chance to agree or disagree, they were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass coming from the kitchen, followed by a loud thud as something heavy hit the floor. Then there was silence.

‘Bella?’ Evie and Lexi leapt from their chairs and ran to the kitchen. Broken glass was strewn over the marble bench tops but Bella was nowhere to be seen. Evie raced around the island bench and found Bella collapsed on the tiles surrounded by the remnants of the glass cupboard.

‘Bella!’ Evie knelt beside her sister, oblivious to the shards of glass that littered the floor. To her relief she could see that Bella was conscious and breathing. ‘What happened? Are you hurt?’

Bella’s grey eyes were enormous in her pale face. ‘Dizzy.’ Her words were laboured. ‘Cramp.’ She was obviously having difficulty with her breathing. ‘I grabbed the shelf when I fell. Sorry.’

‘Don’t worry about the glasses,’ Evie said as she brushed Bella’s auburn curls from her face. Her skin was flushed and her forehead was hot. Feverish.

Bella’s powdered drink mixture that she used for salt replacement sat on the bench. Evie picked up Bella’s wrist and took her pulse, counting the seconds. Her pulse was rapid and Bella’s skin under her fingers was dry and lacking its normal elasticity.

Evie ran through Bella’s symptoms in her head. A high temperature, dizziness, cramping, rapid pulse rate. ‘You’re dehydrated,’ she said. ‘Why didn’t you tell us you weren’t feeling well?’

Why hadn’t she noticed something? Evie accused herself. She was a doctor, for goodness’ sake.

She knew she’d been distracted by the tension between Lexi and Bella but she still should have known something was wrong. Bella’s behaviour should have alerted her. She wasn’t normally so insistent or stubborn.

But that didn’t explain why she hadn’t told them she was feeling unwell. Evie could only assume it was because she didn’t want to make a fuss. That was typical of Bella. She’d been unwell more frequently than usual over the past few months and Evie knew she would be trying to pretend everything was normal. But they all knew it wasn’t. They all knew Bella’s health was going downhill and Evie was furious with herself for not noticing the signs tonight. But there was no time to berate herself now. They needed to get Bella treated, she needed to be in hospital.

‘Lexi, ring Sam and tell him to meet us at the hospital,’ Evie instructed. ‘I’ll call an ambulance and then see if you can get a drink into Bella. She needs fluids.’




CHAPTER ONE


BELLA lay on the stretcher in the rear of the ambulance. She was vaguely aware of her surroundings but the activity felt like it was going on around her, independent of her, even though she knew it all related to her. The emergency lights were flashing, it was dark outside and the lights were reflecting back into the interior of the ambulance, bouncing off the walls. The siren was silent, the traffic a constant background noise. Evie was with her in the ambulance, she could hear her talking with the paramedic. Bella could feel the pressure of the oxygen mask on her face, the grip of the oximeter on her finger, the sting of the IV drip in her elbow. She saw Evie take out her phone and heard her leaving a message for their father.

She was hot and sweaty, flushed with a fever and tired, so tired. She wondered what it would be like just to close her eyes and drift off. To never wake again. But she wasn’t ready. There were still things she wanted to do and things she wanted to see.

She felt the ambulance come to a halt and the flashing red and blue lights were replaced by harsh fluorescent strip lighting. She knew where they were—in the emergency drop-off zone at Sydney Harbour Hospital. This was where she had spent countless days and nights over the past twenty-six years. It was the closest hospital to the Lockheart family home in the north shore suburb of Mosman and the cardiothoracic ward had become as familiar to Bella as her own bedroom.

But her connection to the hospital went beyond that of a patient. Her great-grandfather had been one of the original founders of the hospital and it was also where Evie worked. Bella couldn’t fault the medical care she received here, she just wished she hadn’t had to spend so much of her life within these walls.

The rear doors swung open and Bella felt the stretcher moving as she was pulled from the ambulance. A familiar face loomed over her. Sam Bailey, the hospital’s newest cardiothoracic surgeon and next big thing, was smiling down at her.

‘There you are,’ he said. ‘I’ve been stalking the ambulances, waiting for you.’

Sam was her new specialist, but again the connection didn’t end there. He was engaged to Lexi, which also made him her future brother-in-law.

Bella tried to smile then realised it wasn’t worth the effort as the oxygen mask was hiding her face and she was sure her smile would look more like a grimace. Sam squeezed her hand before he began talking to Evie and the paramedics, getting an update on her condition. Bella lay silently and concentrated on breathing in lungfuls of oxygen. She wasn’t required to contribute. She wasn’t required to do anything except keep breathing. ‘I’ve notified Cardiothoracics, we’ll take her straight up there,’ Sam was saying, and Bella closed her eyes against the glare of the fluorescent lights as they began to wheel her inside.

‘Evie? Is everything okay?’

Bella heard a familiar voice. She recognised it but her brain was sluggish and she was unable to put a face to the voice. If she opened her eyes she’d solve the mystery but that was too much effort.

‘Charlie!’

Evie’s reply jogged her memory and Bella was glad she’d kept her eyes closed.

Dr Charlie Maxwell was one of Evie’s closest friends and definitely one of her cutest! Bella idolised him. But she kept her eyes closed, not wanting him to see her like this. She pretended that if she couldn’t see him, he wouldn’t be able to see her.

Charlie was too gorgeous for his own good and she knew she wasn’t the only one who thought so. He had a reputation as a charmer and he’d cut a swathe through the female nurses and doctors at Sydney Harbour Hospital and most probably further afield too. Bella had long worshipped him from afar, knowing he’d never look twice at her, certain he saw her just as his friend’s little sister. This wasn’t a fairy-tale where the handsome prince would suddenly fall in love with the plain girl and sweep her off her feet. This was real life and the safest thing for her to do was to keep her eyes closed and wait for him to go away. That way there was less chance of her embarrassing herself.

‘Is everything all right?’ he repeated.

‘No, not really. It’s Bella.’

That was the last thing Bella heard before the paramedics pushed her into the hospital and Evie’s voice faded.

Stay with me, Bella wanted to say. She didn’t want to be alone even though she knew Evie wouldn’t be far behind her.

Bella? Charlie took a second look at the figure on the stretcher. Her face was obscured by the oxygen mask but her hair was distinctive. It could only be Bella, but he hadn’t recognised her at first. She had the same curly, dark auburn hair, the same pale, almost translucent skin, but she was thin, painfully thin. What had happened to her?

Charlie knew Bella had a rough time with her cystic fibrosis. She’d had a higher than average number of hospital admissions, but he’d never seen her looking as sick as she looked now.

‘What’s going on?’

‘She’s got a high temperature and she’s badly dehydrated. I suspect she has another chest infection,’ Evie replied.

‘Is there anything I can do?’ He knew it was unlikely but he wanted to at least offer his help.

Evie shook her head and he could see tears in her eyes. He and Evie had been friends for almost ten years and she was normally so strong, so resilient. Things must be grim.

‘You’d better catch up with her but call me if there’s anything I can do.’ He leant down and gave Evie a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘I’ll drop into the ward in the morning.’

He watched Evie as she hurried after Bella’s stretcher and wished he could offer more than just support. He viewed all three of the Lockheart sisters as his surrogate family. He knew they had a lack of family support and he knew how much of the burden of worry Evie carried on her slim shoulders. He would do what he could to help but he wished there was something more proactive that he could do for Bella too. But he was an orthopaedic surgeon. He was not what she needed.

Evie caught up to Sam and Bella as they waited for the lift. The next half-hour was frantic as Sam ordered a battery of tests and examined Bella. Lexi had driven to the hospital and she joined Evie on the cardiothoracic ward to wait. Together they tried to stay out of Sam’s way. Evie had to remind herself she was Bella’s sister now, not her doctor.

Sam appeared from Bella’s room and motioned for them to join him. ‘I’m admitting Bella. She has a temp of thirty-nine point five, which I suspect is the result of another chest infection, and she’s lost three kilograms since her last admission. She was supposed to be putting on weight but her BMI is down to seventeen.’

Evie knew Bella was thin. Too thin. Her body mass index should be at least nineteen—although this would still only put her at the bottom end of normal. Evie knew it was difficult for Bella to put on weight, all cystic fibrosis sufferers had the same problem, but Bella should weigh five or six kilograms more than she currently did. Being underweight made it more difficult to fight infection and increased her chances of ending up back in hospital. Which was exactly what had happened.

‘Is your father coming in?’ Sam asked.

Evie shrugged. Sam’s guess was as good as anyone’s. ‘I’ve just tried to get in touch with him again. I’ve left two messages but I don’t know where he is.’

She kept one eye on Bella, wondering how she would react to the news that her father was uncontactable. Bella watched her, her grey eyes huge and pensive, but she didn’t look surprised. Evie supposed the news didn’t surprise any of them. ‘Lexi, do you have any other way of contacting him?’ Lexi worked with their father so it was possible she would know where to find him.

Lexi shook her head. ‘No, he was going out to dinner but it was private, not business related, so I don’t know any more details.’

Evie sighed. If Richard was out with one of his female ‘acquaintances’ it was highly unlikely that he’d answer his phone. It was also highly unlikely that he’d even make it home tonight, and if he did Evie wondered whether he’d even notice that Bella, and possibly Lexi, weren’t in their beds.

‘Do you think we need to try to find him?’ she asked. Was Sam telling them it was important for Richard to get into the hospital tonight or did they have some time up their sleeves?

Sam was shaking his head and Evie breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn’t think it was that urgent. ‘I just want to try to get Bella stabilised tonight,’ he said. ‘I’ll start a course of IV antibiotics and get her rehydrated. We’ll have to see how that goes but this is now her third admission this year. To be honest, things are heading downhill, but she’ll make it through the night. I’m sure your father will turn up eventually.’

Until then Evie would stay by Bella’s side. Even when Richard decided to join them Evie knew that she and Lexi would be Bella’s main support team. She wished things were different, for Bella’s sake, but their father and Bella had always had a difficult relationship, he’d never coped very well with his second daughter or her illness.

Evie’s own relationship with her father had been tainted by the departure of their mother. Something Evie held her father partially responsible for. She knew her mother had made her own choices but she felt that he could have been more supportive, offered more assistance, made more of an effort to convince her to stay. If he had, the bulk of the responsibility of raising her younger siblings wouldn’t have fallen to Evie and she would have had a very different childhood.

But the Lockheart family dynamics weren’t going to change overnight and once again Evie opted to set up a folding bed in Bella’s room. She sent Lexi home with Sam but she wasn’t going to leave Bella alone. She hoped Sam was right, she hoped Bella would make it through the night, but what if he was wrong? Doctors had been wrong before. She knew that better than anybody.

Bella had been awake since the crack of dawn, woken by the nurse who’d come in to take her six-o’clock obs, although in reality she felt as though she’d been awake most of the night. She always slept badly in hospital. Struggling for every breath ruined a good sleep, not to mention two-hourly obs and the fact she was always cold.

Evie had been by her side all night and she’d waited until Lexi arrived before disappearing in search of coffee while promising to be back in time for Sam’s early-morning consult.

Evie and Lexi were the two constants in Bella’s life. The two people she knew she would always be able to rely on. She knew she was lucky to have them and she’d given up waiting for her parents to give her the same support. But it didn’t stop her wishing that things were different. She didn’t like to be so dependent on her sisters but it was the way it had always been. She knew her illness was a strain on everybody but she also knew she wouldn’t cope without the love and support of her siblings. She wondered sometimes how they managed, especially Evie, who traded looking after Bella for looking after all her other patients at the hospital. Bella knew Evie had a shift in Emergency today but she had no idea how her sister would carry out such a demanding job after spending the night in a chair by her bed. She hoped Evie didn’t get any complicated cases.

‘I brought something to brighten your day,’ Evie said when she returned, carrying a tray of coffee and hot chocolate for her sisters. Bella felt her eyes widen in surprise; Evie wasn’t talking about the drinks.

‘Charlie Maxwell,’ Lexi said in greeting. ‘I’d recognise that bald head anywhere.’

Charlie Maxwell was in her room! Bella knew she was staring and she could hear the ‘beep beep’ of the heart-rate monitor attached to her chest escalate as her autonomic nervous system responded to his presence. Thank goodness he didn’t seem to notice. He wasn’t looking at her, his attention focussed on Lexi. Bella was used to that. People always noticed Lexi and Evie before they noticed her, and even though she wished, on the odd occasion, that someone would notice her first, today she was pleased to be ignored as it gave her time to try to get her nerves under control.

‘Morning, Lexi,’ Charlie said with a grin. ‘And for your information, I’m not bald,’ he protested. ‘I do this on purpose. It stops the women from being jealous of my golden locks.’

‘You’d have to be the only bloke I know who voluntarily shaves his head,’ Lexi retorted, before Evie interrupted them.

‘Bella, you remember Charlie, don’t you?’ she asked as she handed Bella a hot chocolate.

Who could forget him? Bella thought. She knew she never would, not in a million years. He looked as fit, healthy and fabulous as always. Charlie had been a professional surfer in a past life and he certainly had the body of an athlete. Muscular, tanned and perfectly proportioned, he was wearing a white shirt and Bella could see the definition of his biceps and pectoral muscles through the thin fabric. She swallowed hard as she tried to get her mouth to work but she was short of breath and her mouth was dry and parched. Unable to form any words, she nodded instead.

‘Ciao, Bella,’ Charlie said.

He always greeted her in the same way and it never failed to make her feel special, even though she didn’t flatter herself that she was the only one on the receiving end of his charm. But therein lay even more of his appeal. He was one of the few people who didn’t treat her any differently because of her medical condition. He was a serial flirt and he gave her the same attention he gave to every woman who crossed his path, and to Bella, who was used to either being shielded or ignored, Charlie’s attention was a rare delight.

He winked at her and her heart rate jumped again. She felt herself blush and cursed her fair skin.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘I’ve had better days,’ she said, finally managing to get some words out. But it wasn’t the cystic fibrosis making her short of breath, it was Charlie. She was always shy around anyone other than family and even though Charlie behaved like family he was so damn sexy she’d never managed to overcome her self-consciousness around him, especially when other people were within earshot. One on one she was more comfortable but with other ears around she always worried about making a fool of herself.

He was gorgeous and she always felt so plain by comparison. His facial features combined so perfectly together she’d never really noticed that he shaved his head. Of course she’d noticed he was bald but she’d never wondered about the reality behind it, she was too busy being mesmerised by his other physical attributes—his chocolate-brown eyes that she felt she could melt into, his smooth, tanned skin, which provided the perfect foil for straight, white teeth, even his small, neat ears all combined into an appealing package. But his best feature was his mouth. She could visualise him with sun-bleached surfie hair but it was irrelevant really because her attention was constantly drawn to his lips. They were plump and delicious, full but not hard like a collagen-injected pout, they were juicy and soft, almost too soft for such a masculine face. He was smiling at her, a gorgeous smile, full and open and honest. You’d have to be dead not to be affected by his smile and while she wasn’t feeling anywhere near one hundred per cent healthy, she wasn’t dead yet.

‘So Evie tells me,’ Charlie replied, ‘but if there’s anything you need, just ask me. I know how to make things happen around here.’

He winked at her again and Bella didn’t doubt for one minute that Charlie could get whatever he wanted both inside the hospital and out. She knew his reputation as a charmer, she’d heard the nurses talk about him during her numerous admissions, and she knew they competed for his affections and attentions. The combination of his wicked sense of humour, his infectious smile, his gentle nature and his hardened muscles had the female staff members regularly flustered, and Bella herself was no exception.

As far as she knew, only Evie seemed immune to Charlie’s charm. Their ten-year friendship had only ever been platonic and for that Bella was grateful. It meant she was free to adore him without feeling as if she was invading her sister’s territory. She knew that from the day Evie had first met Charlie she’d thought of him as the older brother she wished she’d had. But Bella’s thoughts towards Charlie were far from familial—although she’d never be brave enough to flirt with him, she knew she wasn’t experienced enough to handle Charlie Maxwell. So she just nodded dumbly in reply. She’d lost the capacity to speak again, completely tongue-tied at the thought of Charlie doing things for her. Fortunately Sam’s arrival saved her from needing to answer. He was followed by a nurse and a couple of interns and suddenly her room was overflowing with people.

A ninth person came into the room and Bella saw Evie’s double-take. It was their father.

Bella had assumed Evie had gotten in touch with him during the night, or vice versa, but looking at Evie’s expression now it was obvious she’d heard nothing back and hadn’t been expecting him.

He looked tired and drawn. Bella wished she could pretend he’d lost sleep worrying about her, his middle daughter, but she knew it was far more likely to be a result of a late night of a different kind. She waited for her father to push through the crowd gathered at the foot of her bed but of course he didn’t. He remained standing just inside the doorway, separate and apart from his family. She sighed, wishing for the thousandth time that things were different. At least he was here, which was more than Bella could say for her mother. She nodded in greeting and then proceeded to ignore him as her sisters took up positions on the bed on either side of her. She was tired of always being the one who reached out to make a connection with her father.

Evie took her hand and Bella relaxed, knowing her sisters would try to protect her from harm. Bella saw Sam acknowledge Richard’s arrival with a nod of his own before he began his consult. He checked Bella’s vital signs, checked her obs, listened to her chest and generally prodded and poked while she tried to pretend she wasn’t surrounded by people. The procedure was familiar to her but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing. Once he’d finished he spoke to Bella as though they were the only two in the room.

‘You’ve lost weight since I last examined you, that’s not what we were hoping for, your admissions are getting more frequent and your lung function tests are down.’ Sam was ticking things off on his fingers as he recited the list.

‘Is there any good news?’ Bella asked hopefully.

‘One positive note is that you’ve made some improvement overnight. You’ve rehydrated and your temperature has come down but it’s still higher than I’d like. You’re showing some resistance to the antibiotics and I’ve had to increase the dosage to try to get your chest infection under control. Individually all these things are not so concerning but combined it means I need to reassess your management.’ He paused briefly and Bella knew what he would say next. ‘It’s time for the next stage.’

Bella couldn’t speak. This wasn’t unexpected but she didn’t know what to say. Sam was watching her, waiting for her to acknowledge his words, and she thought she nodded in response but she couldn’t be sure.

Sam looked away from her now, turning to the members of her family, stopping briefly at each and every one as he spoke. ‘I know we’ve talked about this before but the time has come. Bella needs a lung transplant now. She is already on the active transplant list but I have revised her status. This will move her up the list and means she will get the next pair of suitable lungs.’

Bella tightened her grip on Evie’s hand. This was really happening. During her last hospital admission Sam had told her she would need a transplant eventually. That was the way things went with cystic fibrosis. But eventually had become now. Her lungs were officially failing.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Richard collapse into a chair as though his legs would no longer support him. His response surprised her. Her father was a man of action, he always had a solution for everything, a way to deal with everything—except when it came to her and her mother—but he never normally showed any sign of weakness. Was he actually concerned for her? Bella knew there was nothing he could do for her now but she couldn’t ever recall seeing him flummoxed. Was he concerned or was he confused?

‘What do we do while we wait?’ Lexi’s voice was unexpectedly loud in her ear and Bella jumped.

‘In the meantime, we start the pre-op processes. Physical tests, including blood work and organ function tests, as well as psych assessments,’ Sam replied.

‘What does the surgery involve?’ Richard asked, and his question answered Bella’s own. His tone said this was a question from a man who wanted information and clarification, not a question from a concerned father.

‘Obviously it is major surgery. Bella will be several hours in Theatre. It can take up to twelve hours. She will be placed on a heart bypass machine while both lungs are transplanted via an incision across the bottom of the diaphragm, then she will be transferred to ICU for at least twenty-four hours and then back to the cardiothoracic surgical ward.’

‘What are the survival rates?’ As was his style her father was keeping any emotion out of the equation. He preferred to deal with the facts and figures.

‘The figures are good. Currently eighty-five per cent of people undergoing bilateral, sequential lung transplants in Australia survive one year and sixty per cent are still alive after five years.’

Bella heard a sharp intake of breath. For a moment she thought she’d made the sound but then she realised it had come from Lexi.

Bella knew the odds. She’d lived and breathed them since her last admission. She knew the statistics were good, for the short term at least, but she also knew that to those who hadn’t spent countless hours doing the research she’d done, the odds didn’t sound that fantastic.

‘These stats are not just for CF sufferers,’ Sam clarified. ‘They’re for everybody and Bella has age on her side. Although she will still have cystic fibrosis, it won’t be in her lungs.’ Sam looked directly at Bella. ‘If your lungs are functioning properly, you should notice a far improved quality of life. You’ll have more energy, you should gain weight and you’ll be able to be more active.’

‘What do you mean, she’ll still have CF?’ Richard was frowning.

‘Bella’s lungs will be clear but she will still have CF in her pancreas, sweat glands and reproductive tract. She will still need her enzyme-replacement medication and she will start a course of anti-rejection medication. The transplant is not a cure for the disease, it just eliminates the disease from her lungs, and will hopefully extend her life.’ Sam turned to face her. ‘Bella, do you have any questions?’

She still hadn’t uttered a word.

‘How long do I have?’

‘A month, maybe two.’ Sam’s voice was deep and soft but his words were clear and distinct in the absolute silence of the room.

It was already November. Would she see another Christmas?

‘What choice do I have?’

Her question put an immediate and definite end to the silence. Lexi started to cry and Evie started to reason with Bella. They both knew her choices were limited.

Bella held up one hand, asking Evie to wait. ‘It was just a question,’ she said. ‘I didn’t say I won’t have a trans plant, I just wanted to hear if I have any other options.’

‘Of course you have a choice,’ Sam said, ‘it’s your body. You can choose to have a transplant if we find a suitable donor or you can choose not to. But you don’t have any other options.’ He spoke to her as though they were alone in the room. ‘It’s a big decision and I know how daunting this can be but ultimately I wouldn’t expect you to find it a hard decision to make. The consequences of your decision are self-evident. You’re free to talk to the psychologists and the transplant team in more detail, you can ask them anything you want or need to know, but you don’t have a lot of time to decide. Your lungs are failing. Without a transplant you’re on borrowed time.’

Borrowed time. She knew that but it made it more important than ever that she get things sorted. There were things she needed to do. She had to prioritise. She needed to think. She closed her eyes. As she’d hoped, Sam took that as a sign to usher everyone out of the room.

‘Okay,’ he said, ‘I need to run a couple more tests and Bella needs to rest. You can come back later.’

Bella thought Lexi was going to argue but she saw her look at Sam before she said anything. Sam gave a slight shake of his head and Lexi stayed quiet. The medical team was leaving the room and Lexi and Evie kissed Bella before they followed. Charlie and Sam were the last ones remaining. Bella looked from one to the other. Charlie was wedged in next to the bathroom doorhandle, he would have to wait until everyone else had left before he’d be able to get out. She needed to ask a favour and if she was running out of time she needed to do it soon. It looked as if Charlie or Sam were her only options. Not that they were bad options. This was a topic she couldn’t discuss with her sisters; she’d tried already and failed, but by the same token she didn’t think it was something to discuss with Sam either.

Bella needed a sounding board. Charlie had offered his help and even though she knew this wasn’t exactly what he’d pictured, perhaps he wouldn’t mind. After all, this concerned Evie and he knew her better than most.

Bella hadn’t seen Charlie for some time. He had been a frequent visitor to the Lockheart home but since Evie had moved out into an apartment there was no reason for Charlie to drop by. But she knew from experience that Charlie was a good listener and he could be relied upon for level-headed advice. She and Charlie had a history of heart-to-hearts, albeit a very short one, and perhaps he could help her again.

Besides, she was running out of time and options. He would have to do.

‘Charlie, could I talk to you for a second?’ she asked. She knew he saw himself as family, maybe he could do this for her.

Bella saw Evie glance back over her shoulder as she left the room. She’d be wondering what on earth Bella needed to talk to Charlie about, wondering why she wasn’t talking to her, but Bella knew this was one thing Evie couldn’t help her with.




CHAPTER TWO


EVIE hesitated when she heard Bella ask Charlie to stay. She wondered what that was all about but she didn’t stop. She had to catch her father before he disappeared again. There were things they needed to talk about.

‘Richard,’ she called out to him. She hadn’t called him ‘Dad’ since she’d started working at the Harbour Hospital. Evie’s paternal great-grandfather had been instrumental in establishing the hospital and Richard was one of its biggest benefactors. Evie hadn’t wanted to be accused of nepotism when she’d joined the staff. Although the Lockheart surname was a clear indication that there was a relationship there, she hadn’t wanted everyone to know just how close the relationship was.

He turned and waited for her to catch up.

‘Where have you been?’ Evie asked. She was furious that she’d heard nothing from him all morning. ‘Why didn’t you return my messages?’ She must have left him half a dozen in total.

‘I tried. Your mobile is switched off.’

Evie knew there would be no apology. She always switched her phone off at work and Richard knew that. He could have guessed she’d be at the hospital, he could have contacted her through other avenues. ‘You could have paged me.’

Never one to back down he said, ‘I spoke to Lexi and came straight here. Tell me, how do we fix this? What can I do?’

‘You can’t buy lungs,’ she replied, knowing that Richard’s preferred way of dealing with things was just to throw large sums of money at a problem until it went away. That wasn’t going to work this time. ‘We just have to wait.’

‘What is Sam doing about this?’

‘There’s nothing he can do other than push Bella up the list, which he has done. It’s all dependent on having a suitable donor and convincing Bella to go ahead with the surgery once compatible lungs are found. All we can do is support her through this.’ Her little sister was in dire straits and while Evie had known this day was inevitable it didn’t make it any less heartbreaking.

She hoped Richard was listening. She hoped, for once, he could be there to support his daughter. She hoped he realised he might never get another shot at this. But she and Lexi would be there for Bella even if her parents weren’t. Which brought her to the next item on her mental checklist.

‘Will you tell Miranda?’ Evie asked.

Evie had started calling her mother by her first name when she was fifteen, when she had finally admitted that her mother preferred her bottle of gin to her daughters. Miranda’s contact with her offspring was sporadic, associated with brief periods of sobriety mostly, although there had been plenty of times when the girls had seen Miranda far from sober. But despite this Evie felt Miranda needed to know what was happening with her second daughter and she thought it was Richard’s job to inform her.

Richard’s expression told Evie all she needed to know but she was not going to let him out of this task. ‘You need to tell her. Whether she can understand what’s going on is not your problem, but she has to be told. I need to get back to work. I’ll see you back here later.’ Evie’s final words were not a question. Someone needed to tell Richard what was required and she was happy to do that. But she’d have to wait and see if he listened.

Bella looked exhausted. She was waiflike, a pale shadow of a figure against the white hospital sheets. She was sitting up in bed and the only exception to her pallor was her auburn curls, which were vibrantly bright against the pillows that were plumped around her. Looking at her, Charlie thought she could pass for eighteen years old but he knew she was in her mid-twenties. She’d been seventeen when they’d first met, almost ten years ago, when he’d gone back to med school and found himself in Evie’s class, and that would make her twenty-six now.

He waited until Bella’s room had emptied itself of all the other occupants before he dragged a chair closer to the bed and sat. ‘What can I do for you?’ he asked. When he’d offered his help he hadn’t expected there would be anything he could do, but his offer had been made in good faith and if Bella needed assistance he would do his best to give it to her.

‘I need an unbiased pair of ears.’

Charlie frowned. Bella wasn’t maintaining eye contact. Instead, she was fidgeting with the bed covers, repeatedly pleating them in her fingers before smoothing them out. He wondered what was bothering her. ‘Is this about the transplant?’

‘Sort of,’ she replied.

‘You are planning on going ahead with it?’

‘Yes.’ Bella nodded and her auburn curls bounced. ‘But I don’t want to talk to you about the actual operation or anything medical. I’m worried about Evie.’ She looked up at him then but her fingers continued to fiddle with the bed sheets.

‘Evie?’ He’d expected that she wanted to discuss the transplant. He had expected to advise her to talk to Sam. Charlie was an orthopaedic surgeon. Lung transplants were Sam’s area of expertise, not his. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘You heard Sam, I’m on borrowed time. I’m not ready to give up yet but there’s no guarantee that a suitable donor will be found in time.’

Her breathing was laboured and when she paused to catch her breath he could hear a faint wheeze. She had an oxygen tube resting on her top lip and out of habit he checked the flow and her oxygen sats on the monitor to make sure she was getting an adequate supply. The flow was fine so he returned his attention to Bella.

‘If I’m running out of time,’ she was saying, ‘I want to make sure my sisters are okay.’

His frowned deepened. ‘Sam has just told you that your last hope is to find a suitable donor for new lungs and you’re worried about your sisters?’ Charlie was amazed. If he were in the same situation he doubted he’d be able to think about anything except whether he was going to live or die.

Bella shrugged. ‘There’s nothing I can do about finding a donor but making sure Evie is okay might be something I can have some influence over.’

‘What’s wrong with her?’ He hadn’t noticed anything amiss but, to be honest, he hadn’t seen a lot of Evie lately.

‘I know this whole donor thing is stressing Evie out. She feels responsible for me. She always has ever since our mother walked out on us. But, really, this situation isn’t unexpected, we all knew this day would come. But Evie doesn’t seem to be coping as well as I would have thought.’

Bella stopped, interrupted by a coughing fit, and Charlie could only watch as her slight frame shuddered with each spasm. She had asked him to stay behind. There must be something she needed. ‘What did you want me to do?’ he asked as he poured some water into a glass for her and waited while she sipped it.

‘Thanks,’ she said as she moistened her throat before she continued to speak in a voice that was just louder than a whisper. ‘She seems on edge, which isn’t like her, and she’s been like that for a little while. Something is bothering her but she won’t tell me what it is. Have you noticed anything?’

‘I haven’t seen that much of her lately,’ he admitted. But if Bella was right and Evie was troubled, he was pretty sure he knew what the problem was. The sisters were extraordinarily close and he could just imagine how much this situation was tearing Evie apart. ‘I imagine she’s just worried about you and doesn’t want to burden you with her concerns.’ He wished he felt like he was doing a better job of comforting Bella but he didn’t think he’d be improving her spirits with this clumsy attempt at reassurance.

‘I think it’s something unrelated to me,’ Bella admitted.

‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know. Sometimes it’s as though she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and you know what she’s like, she doesn’t like to burden people with her troubles. A couple of the nurses were talking about Evie and they mentioned Finn Kennedy. I wondered if something had happened between them, something that would upset her. Have you heard anything?’

Bella’s earlier nervousness had disappeared. She’d stopped fidgeting and Charlie wondered whether he’d only imagined her to be on edge. He shook his head. ‘I’ve heard nothing. There’s been the usual gossip about the staff and usual complaints about the doctors’ egos, but I’ve heard nothing about Evie specifically.’

‘Will you promise me that if anything happens to me, you’ll look out for her?’ Bella asked. ‘She needs somebody to take care of her and she’s so independent, which makes it tough. At least she might let you close.’

Charlie nodded. ‘I promise I’ll make sure she’s okay.’ He could do that. He wished he could tell Bella that she’d be able to keep an eye on Evie herself but they both knew that might not be the case. They both knew what the reality was.

He could hear Bella wheezing as she breathed and he knew she needed to rest. He should leave and let her recover but he needed to know that everything was under control first. ‘Is anything else bothering you?’ he asked.

‘Well, I also want to see Lexi happily married to Sam but I don’t think you can help me there.’ Bella smiled and Charlie caught a glimpse of humour despite her circumstances.

‘Why wouldn’t they get married?’ he asked.

Bella shook her head. ‘I’m sure they will but I want to be there when they do. Lexi wants time to organise a huge circus, and I know it’s her wedding …’ She smiled. ‘Their wedding,’ she corrected, ‘but I wish she’d agree to hurry things up. I don’t want to miss out.’

Her smile had gone and the tension had returned to her shoulders. She had the bed sheet bunched up tight in her right hand and her knuckles were white with the effort. Maybe it had been stress he’d been witnessing all along.

Charlie wished again that there was something he could do to reassure her. ‘You need to be positive. You have to believe you will get a second chance.’ He knew his words were hopelessly inadequate but he was out of his depth.

‘All right, I’ll go along with your fairy-tale for now,’ Bella replied. ‘Let’s say a donor is found in time, before Lexi and Sam have a chance to get married. What if something happens to me during the surgery? That’s a risk too. Sam is my surgeon. How do you think that will affect their relationship? I know the idea of me dying terrifies Lexi but if they’re already married they’ll have to get past it, but if they’re not …’ Bella paused and shrugged her bony shoulders. ‘I don’t want to be responsible for something happening and coming between them.’

‘How can what happens in surgery be your responsibility?’

‘It’s my decision to have the surgery and the other alternative if something goes wrong is for it to be Sam’s responsibility. If I don’t have the surgery then that pressure is removed.’

‘If you don’t have the surgery, you’ll die.’ Charlie knew he was being blunt but he also knew Bella understood the facts. ‘It’s Sam’s job to make sure nothing happens to you. He’s a surgeon, that goes with the territory.’

‘Don’t get me wrong. If a donor is found, I will have the transplant, but I’d just prefer it if Lexi and Sam were married first. Does that make sense?’

Charlie nodded. In some strange roundabout way it did make perfect sense. He could understand her logic. ‘I assume you’ve spoken to Lexi about this?’

She nodded. ‘But Lexi has a tendency to get her own way and she wants it all to be perfect. In Lexi’s mind the wedding will happen when I’ve had a transplant and life is going on for everyone just as it should. She won’t consider the possibility that I might not make it. She won’t admit that waiting might mean she doesn’t get perfection. She thinks if she ignores the facts, it’ll all go away. She thinks wishing it will make it so. I don’t want to make a fuss but it’s a big deal to me.’

‘What about having someone else perform the surgery? Someone other than Sam?’

‘Like who?’ Bella asked. ‘Evie told me Sam is one of the best. If I’m going to have a lung transplant, I want the best odds I can get.’

Charlie thought about Bella’s options. Finn Kennedy, Head of Surgery at Sydney Harbour Hospital, was one of the best cardiac surgeons in Australia but he wasn’t a heart-lung specialist. If Charlie had needed heart surgery, he’d happily choose Finn to operate on him, but if he needed a lung transplant his money would be on Sam.

‘I guess Sam is your man,’ he agreed. ‘But if Lexi isn’t listening, why don’t you talk to Sam? See if you can get him to persuade Lexi to speed things up. Get him to explain the urgency to her.’

Bella nodded. ‘That makes sense. I wanted Lexi to talk to Sam about it but I don’t think she will. Maybe I should approach it from the other angle, from Sam’s side.’

Charlie watched as Bella’s fist relaxed and her fingers uncurled, releasing the bed sheet. Perhaps his advice had been more effective than he’d anticipated. Could he leave her to rest? ‘So you’ll talk to Sam?’

‘I guess.’

‘Shall I come back tomorrow, check up on you?’

‘You don’t need to do that.’

‘Why not? I can be your conscience, make sure you’ve spoken to Sam. And once you’ve got your sisters’ lives sorted out, I’m interested to know what you want for you.’

‘Me?’ Her tone suggested she hadn’t given any thought to herself and Charlie was astonished by her undemanding, unselfish attitude.

‘Yes. What do you want?’

She frowned as if she’d never given any consideration to her own desires and her grey eyes darkened. ‘Nothing.’

How could she want nothing? Charlie wondered as he left the cardiothoracic ward. Everyone wanted something. But he supposed the only thing she wanted might be unattainable. Bella’s life was in someone else’s hands. Actually, it was in someone else’s body. Bella’s chance at life would come at the expense of someone else’s. Was it better then not to think about it? Was it better not to put that longing into words?

And what was he doing, offering to come back tomorrow? Offering to be her conscience? Why was he getting involved?

Normally he would steer clear of any sort of involvement. He’d learnt that lesson a long time ago. He yearned for freedom and in his experience that didn’t come from involvement with others. But the Lockheart sisters were different. He’d learnt that a long time ago too. Almost ten years ago.

Besides, it was too late to ask himself whether he should get involved. He already was. Ever since he’d first met Evie and she’d dragged him into her world and rescued him from the depths of darkness, the Lockheart sisters had become part of his life. They’d been good for him at a time when he’d been disheartened about life and his future. Evie had helped him through that period, and her situation with her parents and with Bella’s illness had made his troubles seem less significant.

Now it was his turn to repay that debt. It was his turn to support the girls and he would do what he could to make sure all three of them got through this time with their spirits and hearts intact.

Bella was Evie’s little sister. He would help in any way he could. He would be involved but in a practical sense only. This was one woman who was safe from his advances. Not because she was unattractive, far from it, her auburn hair, pale skin and grey eyes were a mesmerising combination, but Bella was Evie’s little sister, which meant she was practically family and she was definitely off limits. But he could offer support, he knew they would need it, and that would be the extent of his involvement. She was Evie’s little sister and he would be wise to remember that.

With his involvement sorted in his mind, he headed for the bank of elevators to take him up to the orthopaedic wards and was surprised to find Evie waiting in the corridor. He thought everyone would have been long gone.

‘Were you waiting for me?’ he asked.

Evie shook her head. ‘No. I just finished talking to Richard.’

Charlie waited. He knew Evie and her father had a volatile relationship. Sometimes things went smoothly, other times not so much. He wondered how things were at the moment. ‘How did that go?’

‘No different from the usual,’ Evie sighed. ‘Bella needs his support, she needs support from all of us right now, and I don’t know if any of them understand how serious this is. Richard certainly doesn’t seem to grasp just how difficult it is to find suitable donors, Lexi doesn’t want to think about the consequences if there is no donor, and don’t get me started on my mother.’

‘So that leaves you to try to hold it all together?’

‘I guess so.’

The burden of Bella’s illness had always fallen on Evie and it looked as though that was still the case. Sam was obviously some support but Evie’s immediate family sounded as though they were all still in denial, assuming her mother even knew what was going on. He wondered if he’d been right. Was the stress upsetting Evie? Even so, Charlie knew Evie would always be there to support Bella. Maybe Bella was right—if something was bothering Evie, perhaps it was another issue.

‘Walk with me?’ he invited. ‘I need another coffee.’

She was silent as they walked back to the doctors’ lounge. He kept quiet too, thinking that if he waited she might tell him what else was on her mind, but she didn’t break the silence. He shrugged as he spooned coffee into the machine. He’d never pretended to understand women. Perhaps there wasn’t anything else bothering her.

Evie watched as Charlie fiddled with the coffee machine. The doctors’ lounge in this ward had a proper coffee machine and the hospital’s best coffee. Technically neither of them should be using it as it had been purchased by the cardiothoracic unit for their doctors, but Evie knew Charlie would get away with it, just like he got away with most things, and she wasn’t about to argue.

She was silent as the machine gurgled to life. She knew Charlie was watching her, waiting for her to say something, but she didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t know what she could do.

‘It’ll be okay, Evie.’

Did he know what she was thinking?

‘You don’t know that,’ she retorted.

‘You’re right, I don’t, but it’s all we can hope for. We have to stay positive. Bella needs that from all of us,’ he said as the coffee dripped into the cups.

‘What did she want to speak to you about?’

‘She needed to get some things off her chest.’

‘Why didn’t she talk to me?’ she asked, hating the petulant tone she heard in her voice, but she couldn’t help it. For as long as she could remember she’d been Bella’s confidante and protector. What made Bella think she couldn’t come to her now?

‘I think she just needed to talk to someone who isn’t quite as invested emotionally in her as you are.’

‘But she’s always confided in me.’

Not always, he thought. But Evie didn’t need to hear that now.

‘Don’t worry, she’s okay.’ Charlie’s deep brown eyes were sombre as he stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against his chest. ‘The best thing you can do for her right now is just be there. Just like you’ve always been. She needs you.’

Evie closed her eyes and leant against Charlie’s solid chest as she let out a long breath. It felt good to have a hug with no hidden agenda, a straightforward, comforting hug from a friend. It felt good to let someone else worry about her for a change.

‘I’m consulting today. Call me if there’s anything you need,’ he said. ‘Anything. I’m here for you, okay?’

His words vibrated in his chest and into Evie but she was also aware of the air in the room moving and she knew someone else had entered the lounge. She opened her eyes and her gaze settled on the last person she expected to see. The last person she wanted to see.

Finn Kennedy.

The last time she’d been in somebody’s arms they’d been his. He stood in the doorway, rigid and forbidding, with his usual unfathomable expression on his face. His gaze was locked on her as she was held in Charlie’s embrace. He didn’t speak and he didn’t move. Heat flooded through her, unbidden, unwanted, unplanned, as he watched her with his piercing blue eyes.

Evie stepped back, breaking Charlie’s hold on her. ‘I’d better go. I need to hit the showers and get downstairs.’ She picked up her coffee and stirred milk and sugar into it, resolutely keeping her gaze focussed on her drink.

‘I’ll see you later,’ Charlie said.

She looked up at him as he spoke. The doorway was empty. She and Charlie were alone again.

It was probably just as well, she thought with a sigh. She didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with Finn Kennedy, esteemed cardiac surgeon, Head of Surgery and her most recent lover. Although that term was probably too generous. They’d shared one fiery sexual interlude but she couldn’t call it lovemaking. It had been steamy, fierce and passionate but without tenderness. It had been raw, impulsive and gratifying but it could not be repeated.

She did not have time to think about Finn Kennedy. She needed to stay in control and, where Finn was concerned, she’d already demonstrated an extreme lack of self-control.

She thanked Charlie and kissed his cheek before she left to get on with her day, hoping and praying for it to improve. She showered in Bella’s bathroom and changed into surgical scrubs. She hadn’t thought to ask Lexi to lend her some clean clothes and there was no way she’d fit into any of Bella’s things, even if Lexi had packed some choices other than pyjamas. At five feet nine inches, Evie was four inches taller than Bella and about two dress sizes bigger. While no one would call Evie plump, Bella was as thin as a whippet because of the cystic fibrosis.

She kissed Bella goodbye and headed for the lift to go to A and E. She yawned as she waited. She was halfway through the yawn when the lift doors slid open to reveal one occupant.

Finn.

Obviously she hadn’t been wishing hard enough for her day to improve.

All it took was one glance, no more than a second long, before her heart was racing in her chest. Her lips were dry and her face burned under the scrutiny of his gaze. She couldn’t let him see how he affected her.

She turned her back to push the button for the ground floor only to find it had already been pressed. No other buttons were lit. Which meant Finn was riding all the way down with her.

‘Late night?’ Finn’s deep, husky voice made her jump. She hadn’t expected him to speak to her. The way he’d looked at her earlier with his disapproving, ice-cold blue eyes she would have bet he’d ignore her. What was it about him? When she wanted him to talk he refused to open up to her yet when she wanted to be left in peace and quiet he had to engage her in conversation. He was so infuriating.

‘Yes.’ She turned to face him as she answered and saw him look her up and down. She knew he would notice what she was wearing.

‘I take it you couldn’t make it home?’

Yep, he’d noticed, and she knew what he was implying. She was tempted to let him think he was right but she was too tired to play games.

She glared at him. She was tired and worried. She’d let him take the brunt of her bad mood.

‘I spent the night in the cardiothoracic ward. Bella is in hospital again. She was admitted last night.’ She was happy if her comment made him feel bad. Why should she be the only one who worried about other people’s feelings?

He reached out a hand and took half a step towards her before he thought better of it. She could literally see him change his mind. His hand dropped to his side and his tone softened. ‘Evie, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Is there anything I can do?’

Don’t be nice to me. I don’t know how to handle it if you’re nice. She was terrified she’d burst into tears in the lift. In front of Finn. ‘There’s nothing you can do unless you’re a miracle worker. She needs a pair of new lungs.’ She was snappy and defensive. It was the only way to ensure she didn’t crumble.

‘I doubt even the Lockheart name can get lungs to order.’ His tone was cool now, his blue eyes appraising. ‘I meant, is there anything I can do for you?’

‘What could you possibly do?’

‘I could organise for someone to cover your shift so you could be with Bella.’

Great, Finn hands you an olive branch and you set it on fire before you give it back. That’s just great. Well done, Evie.

She would love to take him up on his offer but she couldn’t back down now. It wasn’t in her nature and she certainly wasn’t about to give Finn the satisfaction of having the last word. ‘There’s nothing I can do for her,’ she said. Evie expected Bella to sleep for most of the day and Lexi was going to stay with her. ‘I’d rather be busy down here,’ she added as the lift doors opened and she stepped out into the emergency department. Work would ensure her mind was occupied. Staying busy was the best way to keep her mind off Bella’s situation. And off Finn.




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