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Firefighter's Christmas Baby
Annie Claydon


A festive fling…With consequences!Firefighter Ben Matthews is committed to his job above all else after his last relationship ended badly. Until he meets alluring and fiercely independent paramedic Callie Walsh! Their fiery exchanges over the project she’s working on at his fire station leave Ben unable to deny their chemistry… And then Callie turns up on his doorstep—pregnant! Can some Christmas magic turn their holiday fling into a for ever family?







A festive fling...

With consequences!

Firefighter Ben Matthews is committed to his job above all else since his last relationship ended badly. Until he meets alluring and fiercely independent paramedic Callie Walsh! Their fiery exchanges over the project she’s working on at his fire station, leave Ben unable to deny their chemistry... Then Callie turns up on his doorstep—pregnant! Can some Christmas magic turn their holiday fling into a forever family?

“The way this story started drew me into the story immediately.... However, it was the epilogue that wrapped this story up perfectly....”

—Harlequin Junkie on Forbidden Night with the Duke

“...Ms. Claydon has delivered a really good read in this book where the connection between this couple was intense; the romance was heart-warming and special...and the ending had me loving the hero’s determination to prove to the heroine that she’s the one for him.”

—Harlequin Junkie on From Doctor to Princess?


Cursed with a poor sense of direction and a propensity to read, ANNIE CLAYDON spent much of her childhood lost in books. A degree in English Literature followed by a career in computing didn’t lead directly to her perfect job—writing romance for Mills & Boon—but she has no regrets in taking the scenic route. She lives in London: a city where getting lost can be a joy.


Also by Annie Claydon (#u0f2a7c84-a53a-5354-84f3-7df0288185ed)

The Doctor’s Diamond Proposal

English Rose for the Sicilian Doc

Saving Baby Amy

Forbidden Night with the Duke

Healed by the Single Dad Doc

From Doctor to Princess?

Stranded in His Arms miniseries

Rescued by Dr Rafe

Saved by the Single Dad

Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).


Firefighter’s Christmas Baby

Annie Claydon






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


ISBN: 978-1-474-07544-2

FIREFIGHTER’S CHRISTMAS BABY

© 2018 Annie Claydon

Published in Great Britain 2018

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.

® and ™ are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


To Sareeta.

With grateful thanks for steering me

through my last four books

with such grace and aplomb.


Contents

Cover (#ud753a6b9-b111-54f8-9b77-ab52e90a492e)

Back Cover Text (#u06b2f7df-827a-5760-85a4-1d7ee3d43c9f)

About the Author (#u4e570d92-c386-5a44-8a70-f3183437d3fb)

Booklist (#u6639b4ff-672a-5baf-b4bd-75e341d31979)

Title Page (#u05e7985a-9622-53d9-9919-144fd310bbec)

Copyright (#ufa1773f0-ff78-5418-8155-f32fbb29de3d)

Dedication (#u84f178bb-6044-52da-b500-c6fc46035745)

CHAPTER ONE (#u3df77757-b155-550d-a63e-1f8a2440f201)

CHAPTER TWO (#u9d3abaee-7908-5b74-8682-fc72d9c67e55)

CHAPTER THREE (#uecdc24fc-7ff4-5d91-83a4-f3d836845f56)

CHAPTER FOUR (#u36e1aa60-538a-5378-b710-de28dd4b3296)

CHAPTER FIVE (#u52a849b0-6591-59d7-b34c-563143c28e75)

CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)

EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)

Extract (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)


CHAPTER ONE (#u0f2a7c84-a53a-5354-84f3-7df0288185ed)

AFTER TWO WEEKS of feeling the sun on his skin, and not having to bother with a razor, Ben Matthews had cut himself shaving. His uniform had felt unfamiliar and a little too crisp when he’d put it on this morning, but it was good to be back in a routine. The thing about holidays was that they gave him far too much time to think, and he was ready to get back to work now.

‘Good holiday?’ The fire station commander smiled across his desk, and Ben nodded.

‘Has anything been happening here that I should know about?’

‘I imagine you’ve already read the station reports?’ Ben nodded in response. ‘The only other thing is our visitor this morning.’

‘Yes?’ As the watch manager, Ben always liked to have a little warning if an inspection was taking place, but he had no concerns. It was a matter of both principle and pride that he and his crew were constantly ready for anything.

‘She’s a photographer. This is just a preliminary visit, she’ll be back again in a month to take photographs over Christmas. It’s partly her own project, to widen her portfolio, but we have an option to use any of the photographs she takes in our publicity campaigns and there’s also going to be a calendar, which we’ll be issuing at the end of next year.’

This all seemed very rushed. Ben wished he’d known about it when it had been in the planning stage, rather than being presented with a fait accompli. ‘And this has all been agreed?’

‘There wasn’t much time to set it up. Ms Walsh specifically requested that she take the photographs over Christmas to add authenticity to the calendar shots. She’s hoping to include some off-duty moments.’

Ben frowned. The only calendar he’d seen that had featured firefighters had involved underwear and Santa hats. And that was just the men...

‘This is going to be...done sensitively, I imagine?’

‘Of course. It’s a bit of fun but there’s a serious message, too. We want to raise public awareness about what we do, as well as raise money.’

‘Right.’ Ben was all for the serious message. Just as long as this photographer understood that too. ‘The crew knows about this?’

‘Yes, they’re all for it. Ms Walsh came in last week with her portfolio and showed us some of her work. I thought it was excellent, and there was some disappointment amongst the other crews when she chose to shadow Blue Watch.’

This photographer seemed to be calling all the shots. Not with his crew...

‘And you’ve given her a free hand?’

The station commander smiled. ‘I haven’t imposed any restrictions on her, if that’s what you mean. I know I can count on you to ensure the smooth running of the operation.’

‘In that case...’ Ben needed to get back to his crew. Now. Before this photographer started to think she did have a free hand and anyone persuaded anyone else that taking their shirts off was a good idea. ‘I’ll be getting on if there’s nothing else.’

‘No, nothing else.’ The station commander picked up a file from his desk, and Ben rose, heading for the door.

* * *

Ben opened the door of the ready room and found it empty. Of course it was. Gleaming red and chrome was sure to appeal as the backdrop for the calendar photographs. Walking downstairs into the garage, he heard voices and laughter.

‘No, I don’t think that’s going to work.’ A woman’s voice, clear and brimming with humour. ‘I’m after something a bit more spontaneous...’

‘Spontaneous, my eye.’ Ben muttered the words to himself, marching through the narrow gap between the two fire engines and almost bumping into a woman who was standing by the front one of them.

At least she was good at getting out of the way. That was exactly the kind of aptitude she’d need. Ben caught a trace of her scent before she stepped quickly to one side and he came face to face with Eve and Pete, in full protective gear, standing beside the chrome fender, both with fixed smiles on their faces. That looked absolutely fine to him but, then, he wasn’t in the business of art photography.

‘Okay...let’s break it up.’ It seemed that the rest of the crew had decided that the taking of a few photographs required them to stand around watching. ‘Give us a minute, will you?’

‘Good to see you back, boss.’ Eve grinned at him, taking her helmet off and unbuttoning her jacket. Ben heard the click of a camera shutter beside him and turned to the woman standing next to him as the crew dispersed quickly.

‘Hi. I’m Callie Walsh.’ She was holding the camera loosely in one hand, the other stretched out towards him. ‘You must be Ben Matthews.’

‘Yes.’ Ben shook her hand briskly, omitting to say that he was pleased to meet her. ‘The station commander told me you’d be here.’

She nodded, looking up at him. She had green eyes, the kind that seemed wholly dedicated to making a man stare into them, and the prettiest face he’d seen in a long while. The softness stopped there. Her short, corn-blonde hair was streaked with highlights and slicked back from her face. Spray-on jeans, a fitted leather jacket with more zips than seemed entirely necessary, and a look of determination on her face gave the overall impression of a woman who knew how to steamroller her way over pretty much anything.

Instinctively, Ben stepped back, leaning against the chrome on the front of the fire engine. When she raised her camera, pointing the bulky lens in his direction, he frowned.

‘Before you take any more photographs, I think there are a few ground rules we need to have in place.’

‘Of course.’ Her face was impassive, and Ben wondered what she was thinking. That didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what he thought either. What mattered was the well-being and effectiveness of his crew.

‘This is a working fire station...’

‘I understand that. I know how to keep out of the way.’

That had only been his first concern. There were many more. ‘As Watch Manager I’m responsible for the safety of everyone connected with Blue Watch...’ His gaze drifted to the high heels of her boots. What she was wearing didn’t come close to practical, if she was reckoning on venturing anywhere other than the ready room.

She seemed to read his thoughts. ‘I’m hoping to just get everyone used to the idea of me being here today. I won’t be accompanying you to any calls...’

‘You won’t be doing anything, at any time, unless I allow it.’

Perhaps he should qualify that. She could do whatever she liked, as long as she didn’t mess with him or his crew. Callie was regarding him thoughtfully, as if she was assessing her next move.

‘I can handle myself in emergency situations and I know how to follow operational and safety guidelines.’ She unzipped her jacket, pulling a sheet of folded paper from an inside pocket. ‘You probably haven’t had a chance to look at my CV yet, but when you do you’ll see that I’m a paramedic.’

If she’d been trying to surprise him, she’d pulled off a master stroke. When he took the paper, it seemed warm to the touch. Ben put that down to his imagination, rather than the heat of her body.

‘When did you change jobs?’ He unfolded the paper, scanning it.

‘I didn’t. I did an evening course in photography when I was at school and found that I can take a decent portrait. The income from that helped put me through my training as a paramedic, but now I want to extend my range a little. I think my first-hand experience of working with the emergency services gives me something unique to bring to this project.’

It was either a canny career move or some kind of personal crusade. It was difficult to tell what sparked the passion that shone in her eyes, and it really wasn’t Ben’s job to decide. All he needed to concern himself with was the practicalities, not whatever made Callie Walsh tick.

‘All the same, I’d like to have first sight of all the photographs you take...’

Callie shook her head. ‘That’s not the way I work.’

‘It’s the way I intend to work.’

The edges of her mouth curved slightly, as if she already had her answer ready and had been waiting for the right time to slap him down.

‘Then you’ll have to adapt. I decide which of my photographs goes forward, and they go to the individuals concerned first, so they can review them and choose whether they want to sign a release. After that they go to the station commander. It’s all agreed and I’m sure he’ll show them to you if you ask nicely.’

Ben ignored the jibe. The procedure sounded reasonable enough but he would have no hesitation in circumnavigating it if he saw any threat to the welfare of the firefighters on his watch.

‘All right. But if I feel that any of the photographs are inappropriate, I won’t hesitate to block them.’

She folded her arms. ‘You want to give me some artistic direction? What do you mean by “inappropriate”?’

He shouldn’t feel embarrassed about this, even if her green eyes did seem to rob him of his capacity to stay dispassionate. It was simply an observation.

‘I won’t have any of my crew treated as...eye candy.’

Ben had expected she might protest. But her gaze travelled from his face, looking him up and down slowly. He tried to suppress the shiver that ran up his spine.

‘You think you’d be good eye candy?’

Ben had a healthy regard for disdain, particularly when it emanated from a beautiful woman. It was almost refreshing.

‘No, that’s just my point.’

‘Good. We’re in agreement, then. Anything else?’ Callie smiled. Her face became softer when she did that, and the temptation to enjoy this confrontation became almost overwhelming.

‘Don’t leave any of your equipment around. I don’t want anyone tripping over anything.’

‘I’m looking for spontaneity, not posed shots, and my camera is all I need. I never leave it around.’

‘Okay. And if the alarm sounds, I need you out of the way. Quickly.’

‘Understood. I’ll flatten myself against the nearest wall.’ Her gaze met his, and the thought of crowding her against a wall and kissing her burst into Ben’s head. Maybe he’d muss her hair a little first and find out whether the soft centre that her lustrous eyes hinted at really did exist.

He dismissed the idea. If the alarm sounded, that would be the last thing he should be thinking about. And if it didn’t then it was still the last thing he should be thinking about.

‘That’s great. Thank you.’

‘My pleasure. May I get on and take a few shots now?’

‘Yes, please do.’ Ben turned, and walked away from her.

Maybe...

There was no maybe about it. Callie took his breath away. He’d aired his concerns less tactfully than usual because her mesmerising gaze had the power to make him forget all his reservations about her presence here. Even now, he was so preoccupied by the temptation to look back and catch another glimpse of her that he almost forgot he’d intended to go back his office and found himself heading on autopilot towards the ready room.

He didn’t need this kind of complication. He’d been burned once, and if he allowed himself to be burned again, that would be entirely his fault. This was a professional relationship, and that was where it began and ended.

* * *

Callie watched his back as he walked away. Gorgeous. One hundred percent, knee-shakingly gorgeous. Dark, brooding looks, golden skin and bright blue eyes that the camera was sure to fall in love with. It was a shame about the attitude.

But he’d only said the things she’d known already. Stay out of the way. Treat the people she photographed with respect. Maybe he’d loosen up a bit when he saw that she knew how to handle herself.

Callie almost hoped that he wouldn’t. If this guy ever actually got around to smiling at her, she’d be tempted to throw herself at him. If she wanted to avoid all the woman-traps that her mother had fallen into over the years, it would be a great deal easier if Ben Matthews didn’t smile. Ever.

* * *

Ben had watched her all morning, and had hardly got a thing done. His crew, on the other hand, had been subtly persuaded to get on with their jobs, while Callie observed. She asked questions, laughed at everyone’s jokes, and made a few self-deprecating ones of her own. It was all designed to put them at their ease, wipe the fixed smiles from their faces and get them to act naturally.

He saw her quietly lining up a few shots from the corner of the garage, and Ben had puzzled over why she should want them. Then the alarm sounded and she was suddenly back in that spot. He realised that it was the optimum out-of-the-way location to catch the movement of men and women, and then the noisy rush as the fire engine started up and swept out of the garage. She was good.

Maybe the professional thing to do was to try giving her the benefit of the doubt. He’d assumed that Callie was all about the cliché, but everything she’d done so far told him that she was all about the reality. Ben waited for a lull in the morning’s activity and saw her heading for the ready room. He followed her, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

‘Would you like one?’ He gestured towards his own cup and Callie shot him a suspicious look. He probably deserved that.

‘No, thanks. A glass of water...’ She pursed her lips and something in her eyes told him that one of the quiet, dry jokes he’d heard her share with the crew was coming. ‘If you trust me not to throw it all over you, that is.’

‘You’re thinking about it?’

‘I’m told that wet fireman shots are very popular.’ She smiled suddenly, and Ben reconsidered the dilemma that had been bugging him all morning. The best thing about Callie wasn’t the way she moved, or her long legs, or even her bright green eyes. It was her smile.

‘I guess I deserve that.’

‘I guess you do.’

The sound of ice breaking crackled in his ears as he filled a glass from the water dispenser. Ben walked over to the table, leaving an empty seat between his and hers when he sat down.

Callie was watching him thoughtfully. ‘Your concerns are reasonable. Everyone wonders what a photographer is going to make of them, and one of the issues that was raised when I visited last week was that I didn’t glamorise your work.’

Ben had missed that. Maybe that was why his crew all seemed so relaxed around her. She’d already talked about the kind of photos she intended to take, and they knew what he hadn’t stopped to find out. Perhaps he should try asking questions before he jumped to conclusions.

‘Why did you choose Blue Watch?’

‘Because you’re the only ones on duty over the whole of the Christmas period.’

Of course. Ben felt suddenly foolish.

‘If there’s anything else you want to ask me...’ Her gaze dropped from his face suddenly and she started to fiddle with her camera.

There was something. ‘You say you’re just an observer. But you frame your shots. I saw you scoping out the best place to stand when the alarm rang.’

This time she thought about her answer. ‘Sometimes you have to be in the right place to see things clearly.’

Callie reached for the tablet on the table in front of her. Switching it on, she flipped through the photographs. ‘What do you think of this one? Is it an accurate representation?’

Ben caught his breath. It wasn’t just a photograph of a fire engine leaving the station, she’d caught the movement and urgency, hinting somehow at the noise and the touch of adrenaline that accompanied it. Ben hadn’t thought that would be possible unless you’d lived those moments.

‘That’s really good.’ Really good didn’t sum it up. But, then, he was no art critic. ‘I’d say it was accurate.’

‘Thanks.’ She stood up suddenly. ‘I’d better get on.’

Ben watched her walk away from him. Perhaps that was the attraction. A beautiful woman who could walk away without looking back.

But maybe that was just the last eighteen months talking. He and Isabel had never really been right for each other, but he’d been intoxicated by her soft beauty. When he’d realised that it wasn’t going to work between them, he’d tried to break things off gently, but Isabel wouldn’t have it. Texts, phone calls. Looking out of his window to see her car parked outside at all hours of the day or night. And then the real craziness had started...

That was over now, and he didn’t want to think about it. He wasn’t particularly proud of the way he’d handled things and Isabel hadn’t contacted him in months. A woman walking away from him was just that—not some sign that there was someone out there who could make him feel the things that had come so easily before he’d met Isabel.

He studiously ignored Callie for the rest of the day. She was making a good job of keeping out of the way, and that suited Ben just fine.


CHAPTER TWO (#u0f2a7c84-a53a-5354-84f3-7df0288185ed)

‘THE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE IN, BOSS.’ Ben found Eve hovering at the door of his office.

‘Photographs?’ He wondered whether his expression of surprise cut any ice. He’d been thinking about Callie a lot more than was strictly necessary over the last two weeks.

Eve rolled her eyes. ‘There’s a parcel on your desk. It came by courier.’

‘Okay, thanks.’ It seemed that Eve wasn’t going to leave him alone to open it. ‘Let’s take a look then.’

Eve followed him into his office, looking over his shoulder as Ben carefully ran a knife around the tape that bound the box on his desk. Inside was a brief letter from Callie, stating that she’d enclosed a few photographs for review. And underneath that a stack of sealed manila envelopes, each of which carried a name and a Private and Confidential sticker.

‘Where are mine...?’

‘Hold on a minute.’ Ben sorted through the envelopes, handing over the one that bore Eve’s name.

‘You can show them to me...if you want to.’

Eve was the one member of his crew that he wanted most to protect. Ben hadn’t been there when she’d sustained the burns on her shoulder, but he’d been told how much courage she’d shown that day. And he’d seen the pain in her face when he’d visited her at the hospital. Eve had cried, just the once, saying that the burns were so ugly, and when she’d finally returned to work, Ben had noticed that she never wore anything that exposed her upper arms, even on the hottest day.

‘I might...’ Eve sat down on the chair next to his desk, running her finger under the seal of the envelope and taking the A4 photographs out. She flipped through them carefully and Ben saw her cheeks burn red. Then a tear rolled down her cheek.

If Callie had upset Eve in any way, if she’d made her feel anything less than beautiful, she wouldn’t be coming back here. No more photographs, no more talking to his crew to gain their trust.

‘What’s up, Eve?’ He tried to banish the anger from his voice, speaking as gently and quietly as he could. Eve tipped her face up towards him and suddenly smiled.

‘Look at me, boss.’

As she handed the photos over, her hand shook. Ben took them, forcing himself to look.

There was one of Eve running, buttoning up her jacket as she went. Another of her climbing into the cabin of the fire engine. Eve’s frame seemed somehow diminutive next to her crewmates, but she was clearly one of a team and the angle from which the photographs had been shot showed her ahead of the men, not following on behind.

‘These are... Do you like them?’ Maybe Eve saw something in them that he didn’t.

‘Yes, I like them. I really like them.’

‘Me too.’ Ben looked at the next photograph, and saw what had prompted Eve’s tears.

‘Callie took this at your home?’

‘Yes, we made an arrangement for her to come and see me. What...do you think?’ Eve wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve.

She was sitting on the floor with her four-year-old son in her lap. Isaac was clutching a toy fire engine and Eve’s dark hair was styled softly around her face. She was wearing a sleeveless summer dress that showed the scars on her shoulder.

‘I think... It’s a lovely photograph of you and Isaac.’ Ben decided to concentrate on the mother and son aspect, and the love that shone in Eve’s face.

‘It is, isn’t it? I didn’t think...’ Eve shrugged.

‘Didn’t think what?’ Ben was still ready to spring to Eve’s defence, but perhaps he didn’t need to. Maybe she saw what he did, and that was what her tears were all about.

‘I didn’t think I’d ever wear that dress again. Callie and I talked about it for a while, she said that we could stop if I felt uncomfortable and that these photos were just for me, not anyone else.’

‘You should be proud of yourself, Eve.’ Somehow Callie had captured everything in the image. Eve’s love for her son, her strength and her vulnerability. The scars looked like badges of courage and they brought a lump to Ben’s throat.

‘Yes.’ Eve took the photographs back, hugging them to her chest as if they were something precious. ‘I’m going to show the guys.’

Ben put his own envelope to one side, slightly surprised that there was one, and stacked the rest back into the box. ‘Will you take these out with you? Make sure everyone gets just their own envelope.’

‘Yep.’ Eve paused, grinning. ‘So you’re not going to show me yours?’

His could hardly be as moving, or mean so much. He tore at the envelope, taking out the glossy prints.

‘Go on. Take a look.’ He handed them straight over to Eve. He didn’t much want to look himself, and find out how Callie saw him.

‘Nice... Very action hero.’ Eve laid the first photo down on his desk and Ben saw himself caught in the act of loading equipment onto the fire engine. A second showed him climbing into the cabin.

There was one more to go. And Eve was grinning suddenly.

‘Wow, boss. Never knew you were a pin-up.’

‘Neither did I.’ Ben reached for the photograph, snatching it from her.

Oh. He remembered that now. He’d been sitting in the ready room, after returning from the fire they’d been called to that afternoon. Watching as Callie had talked to a couple of the other firefighters. Suddenly she’d turned and pointed the camera at him.

Perhaps it was Ben’s imagination, but he thought he saw the subtle winding-down process after a call where there had been no casualties and the fire had been successfully contained. And there was something else. His eyes looked almost startlingly blue under tousled hair that was still wet from the shower.

‘Do I really look like that?’ For the first time in his life it occurred to Ben that he looked handsome.

‘Yeah, on a good day. Sometimes you look a bit rough...’ Eve laughed at his protests, narrowing her eyes to squint at the photograph. ‘Maybe she’s turned up the blue tones a bit. She explained to me how you do that. She said that she could turn down the red of my scars a bit but when we’d talked about it I decided that she shouldn’t. All or nothing, eh?’

‘Good decision. You can be very proud of your photos, Eve.’ Ben looked at his own photograph again. None of the other blues seemed to be so prominent. Maybe it was a trick of the light...

He decided not to think about it. Gathering up the photographs, he put them back into the envelope and threw it back into the box.

‘Here. If anyone wants to see these, you can show them.’ He led by example. If anyone on the crew wanted to see what Callie had made of him, they could have a good laugh over it.

‘Right, boss. Thanks.’ Eve put her envelope in the box with his and shot him a grin before she left him alone.

What Callie had made of him. It was a thought that wouldn’t go away, because the photograph had hinted at the smouldering heat that invaded his thoughts whenever he looked at her.

He shook the thoughts from his head. Christmas was only a week away and Callie would be back to take the photos for the calendar. He would be sure to thank her for her sensitivity with Eve and then he’d keep his distance. Ben didn’t trust himself to do anything else.

* * *

Callie had stared at Ben’s photograph for a long time before deciding to include it in his envelope. Perhaps it looked a like a come-on, betraying the way she saw him a little too clearly. But it was really just the way that the lens saw him. The camera was indifferent to him and incapable of lying. That image was all about Ben and nothing about her.

Her friends would have taken one look at the picture and told her that capturing Ben’s smile for real should be her number one priority over Christmas. But anyone who seriously thought she’d take that advice didn’t know much about her. Callie was all about avoiding risk.

It was one of the reasons she’d wanted this job so much. She’d wanted to understand what made the firefighters tick, what allowed them to do a dangerous job and then go home to their families afterwards. She’d been too young to understand when her father had failed to come home from work one day, but she’d understood her mother’s tears and in time she’d come to understand that he’d never be coming home.

She’d learned afterwards that her father had been a hero. A police officer, called to an armed robbery that had gone bad. He’d saved two of his fellow officers but he had been unable to save his own wife and child from the mistakes and hardships that had resulted from his death.

It was the best reason in the world not to get involved with Ben, a man who took risks for a living, like her father had. He might be mouth-wateringly handsome and Callie had always had a soft spot for men with a hard exterior and warm eyes. But he was very definitely on her not-to-do list this Christmas. It was okay for the camera to register his smouldering eyes but she wasn’t going to think about them.

One of the firefighters let her into the station on a crisp, cold Christmas Eve morning. Callie made her way to the ready room, adding the two dozen mince pies she’d made last night to the pile of boxes of Christmas fare in the kitchenette. Then she sat down, her camera ready, waiting for something to happen.

* * *

No sprayed-on jeans this morning. If he’d known in advance, Ben might have thought that Callie in a pair of serviceable trousers, heavy boots and a thick red hoodie would be an easier prospect. But that would have been a mistake because she still looked quite terrifyingly gorgeous.

He’d made sure that the photo of himself, captioned ‘Hunk of the Month’, had been taken down from the ready room notice-board. Everyone had taken their chance to have a good laugh, and there was no need for Callie to see it.

She was sitting quietly in the ready room. Blending in, as he’d seen her do before. Watchful, observing everything. He’d bet the silver sixpence from the Christmas pudding that she’d already sized up the decorations and the small tree in the corner of the room, deciding how best they might be put to use in her photographs.

‘You’re here.’ He suddenly couldn’t think of anything else to say.

‘Yes.’ She turned her green eyes up towards him thoughtfully. ‘So are you.’

That got the patently obvious out of the way. Ben sat down.

‘Eve showed me her pictures.’

She reddened a little, seeming to know exactly which of the pictures he was referring to. ‘You know that she called the shots?’

‘Yes, Eve told me that you’d talked about it all at some length, and that she was happy with what you’d done.’ Ben liked it that Callie was unsure what his reaction might be, and that she actually seemed to care what it was.

She nodded slowly, obviously pleased. ‘She rang me and said she’d be happy for them to be included in the pictures for the calendar.’

‘And what do you think?’

‘I think they’re exactly the kind of thing we want. But I’m going to leave it until after Christmas and give Eve some time to think about it. Sometimes people say yes to a proposal and then change their minds when it becomes a reality.’

‘I’ll leave you to sort that out with her.’ Two weeks ago it had been unthinkable that he could leave Callie to negotiate directly with his team, but now... Maybe her photographs had worked a little magic on him as well.

‘You’re expecting to be busy today?’ She asked the question with an air of innocence and Ben smiled.

‘Yes, we’re often busy over Christmas.’

‘I’m hoping that you’ll agree to my going with the crew on a call-out. The station commander gave me the go-ahead and I’ve signed the waiver. But the final decision’s down to you.’

He’d been half expecting this. For someone who was so invested in how things looked, it was impossible that her own appearance didn’t mean something. She’d even ditched the bulky camera, replacing it with a smaller one that might easily be stowed away inside a jacket.

‘Can you earn it?’ The words slipped out before he could stop them. He usually put things a little more tactfully than that, wrapping it all up in talk about basic fitness and health and safety procedures.

If it was the little tilt of her chin that he’d wanted to see, she didn’t disappoint him. Neither did the defiance in her eyes.

‘Just watch me.’


CHAPTER THREE (#u0f2a7c84-a53a-5354-84f3-7df0288185ed)

CALLIE WOULD HAVE thought that four years working as a first response paramedic might have allowed some of the more basic procedures to go without saying. But it appeared that Ben took nothing for granted.

‘Don’t forget to stand where he tells you.’ Eve’s eyes flashed with humour as she whispered the words to Callie.

‘Sorry about this...’ The yard wasn’t the place to be in this freezing weather, and everyone looked as if they’d rather be in the ready room, making inroads into the stack of Christmas food.

Eve grinned. ‘It’s not you. He does it with everyone. Everyone he likes, that is...’

Right. This was obviously the hurdle that she had to jump to gain entry to the team. She could respect that, there was no such thing as being too careful when your job involved the kinds of risks that the crew faced every day.

‘Callie! Over there...’ Ben shouted, and she started. She was already standing well out of the way of the fire crew, and the point he’d indicated precluded any good photographic shots of the imaginary conflagration.

She ran obediently to her allotted spot and he nodded, seeming to be fighting back a grin. ‘All right. Thanks, everyone.’

The crew followed his lead, at ease now as they left their positions and started to meander back inside. Ben was suddenly one of them again, just another member of the crew, but Callie was under no illusions that as soon as the alert bell rang, he’d be their leader again.

‘Did I pass?’ She murmured the words to him as he strolled back across the yard towards her.

‘Yeah. Full marks.’ This time he allowed himself to smile. ‘Make sure you do the same when this is for real.’

This wasn’t for real? Full marks meant that she had a chance of going with the crew on their next call-out. That made it real enough.

They didn’t have long to wait. When the alarm sounded, Callie was on her feet with the others, pulling on the high-vis protective jacket with ‘Observer’ written across the back of it.

She was familiar with the sound of a siren but it usually emanated from her own rapid response vehicle. The fire engine made more noise and she wasn’t used to the sway of the vehicle or to being squashed between Eve and one of the other firefighters while someone else did the driving. Neither was she accustomed to feeling like a parcel, only there for the ride.

But she did as she’d been told, waiting for the firefighters to get out of the vehicle before she did. Smoke and flame plumed upwards from what looked like a storage yard behind a brick wall.

‘Callie, stay right back. There are gas canisters in there.’ There was a popping sound as one of the canisters exploded in the heat of the conflagration. Ben didn’t look back to make sure that she complied with the instruction as he hurried towards the back of the fire truck, where the crew was already deploying two long hoses.

Water played over the top of the wall, another jet aimed at a gate to one side. Callie knew that the angles were carefully chosen to maximise the effect of the hoses, but it seemed that no one had actually made that decision. It was just a team, working together apparently seamlessly.

Photographs. That was what she was here for. She’d almost forgotten the camera in her hand in favour of watching Ben. In charge, ever watchful and yet allowing his crew to do their jobs without unnecessary orders from him. It was a kind of trust that she wished he might bestow on her.

He turned, waving her further back, pointing to a spot beside the police cordon. At least she was out of his line of sight now, and she could remove the heavy gloves that made it practically impossible to take photographs. Not that it mattered all that much. She was standing so far back that the people behind the cordon probably had as good a chance of taking a meaningful shot as she did.

I hate this. She was used to working on her own and making her own decisions. But if she proved she could comply with Ben’s orders, he might ease up on her a bit.

In the meantime, she’d do what she could. Callie turned for a shot of the cordon, people lined up behind it watching anxiously. Some were passers-by who’d stopped, while others in bright-coloured sweaters and dresses rather than coats had obviously been evacuated from the houses closest to the blaze. Over the steady thrum of the fire engine and the roar of the flames she could hear a child crying and another babbling in excitement.

Panning back towards the firefighters, a movement caught her eye. A twitch of the curtains in one of the houses in the row next to the yard. When Callie pressed the zoom, she saw a head at the front window.

‘Ben...!’ She ran towards the fire engine, screaming above the noise, and he glanced back towards her. ‘Over there, look.’ She pointed to the window and he turned suddenly, making for the house. He’d seen what she had, that the police evacuation had left someone behind.

It appeared that since he’d given Callie no indication that she should move, he expected her to stay where she was. Forget that. Callie tucked the camera into her jacket and followed Ben.

‘Go back. We’ve got it...’ They met on the doorstep. The woman had disappeared from the window and without a second glance at Callie he bent down, flipping open the letterbox to look through it and then calling out.

‘That’s right, my love. Open the door. No... No, don’t sit down. You need to open the door for me.’

Suddenly he puffed out a breath and straightened, turning to Eve, who had arrived at his side. ‘We have an elderly woman sitting on the floor, leaning against the front door. We’ll go in through the window.’

Eve nodded and Ben reached into his pocket, pulling out a window punch. It took one practised movement to break one of the small glass panes in the windows at the front of the house.

‘Callie, I won’t say it again. You’re in the way...’ He didn’t look round as he reached in, slipping the catch and swinging the window open.

‘Since when was a paramedic in the way when you have a possible trauma? You should be getting out of my way.’ Callie resisted the temptation to kick him. Playing along with Ben at the fire station was one thing, but this wasn’t the time or the place.

He turned quickly, a look of shock on his face. Then he took the helmet from Callie’s hand, securing the strap under her chin and snapping down the visor. ‘Put your gloves on. Stay behind me at all times. Eve, stay here and let me know if the fire looks as if it’s coming our way.’

He pushed the net curtains to one side and climbed in, turning to help Callie through the window. She ignored his outstretched hand and followed him. When he led the way through to the hallway, Callie saw an elderly woman sitting on the floor behind the door. Her eyes were closed but her head was upright so she was probably conscious. Callie tapped Ben’s arm to get his attention.

‘Did she fall?’

‘I don’t think so. She just seemed to slide down the wall.’

‘Okay.’ Standing back wasn’t an option now and neither was staying behind him. The house wasn’t on fire and Ben’s skills were of secondary use to her. Callie pushed past him and knelt down beside the woman, taking off her helmet and gloves. She wasn’t used to working with these kinds of constrictions.

‘Hi, I’m Callie, I’m a paramedic from the London Ambulance Service.’

The woman looked up at her with placid blue eyes. It seemed that the urgency of the situation had escaped her, and Callie saw a hearing aid, caught in the white hair that wisped around her face, with the ear mould hanging loose. She was clutching a pair of glasses that looked so grimy that they could only serve to obscure her sight.

Great. No wonder she hadn’t responded when Ben had called through the letter box. Callie gently disentangled the hearing aid, putting it in her pocket. There was no time now to do anything other than make do with what the woman could hear and see.

‘Are you hurt?’ She tipped the woman’s face around, speaking clearly.

‘No, dear.’

‘Have you fallen?’

The woman stared at her, her hand fluttering to her chest. Callie heard Ben close the sitting-room door so that more smoke didn’t blow through the house from the broken window. The smell of burning was everywhere, filtering through every tiny opening from the outside, and Callie knew that the air quality in here wasn’t good.

She felt a light touch on her shoulder. ‘You’re happy to move her?’

Suddenly Ben was deferring to her. Callie’s quick examination had shown no sign of injury and the woman’s debility and confusion might well be as a result of smoke inhalation. On balance, the first priority was to get her into the fresh air.

‘Yes.’

Thankfully, he didn’t waste any time questioning her decision. Ben used his shortwave radio to check with Eve that their exit was still clear and helped Callie get the woman to her feet. Her legs were jerking unsteadily and it was clear that she couldn’t walk.

‘Can you take her?’ She’d be safe in Ben’s strong arms. He nodded, lifting the woman carefully, and Callie scooted out of the way, opening the front door.

Outside, the fire in the yard was almost out, quantities of black smoke replacing the flames. Ben didn’t slacken his pace until he’d reached the cordon, and as a police officer shepherded them through, a woman ran up to them.

‘Mae... Mae, it’s Elaine. Elaine Jacobs...’ The older woman didn’t respond, and the younger one turned to Ben. ‘Bring her to my house. Over there...’

‘Thanks.’ Ben shot a glance at Callie and she nodded. There was nowhere else other than the police car to set Mae down and examine her.

Ben carefully carried his precious burden into the small, neat sitting room, and Mrs Jacobs motioned him towards a long sofa that stretched almost the length of one wall. He put Mae down carefully and turned to Callie.

‘Ambulance?’

‘Yes, thanks.’

‘Okay, I’ll see to it.’ He turned to Mae, giving her a smile, and her gaze followed him out of the room.

‘I’m all right.’ Mae seemed to be addressing no one in particular, and Callie guessed that she was trying to reassure herself as much as anyone else. She touched her hand to catch her attention.

‘I know you are. Just let me make sure, eh?’


CHAPTER FOUR (#u0f2a7c84-a53a-5354-84f3-7df0288185ed)

HOWEVER HARD HE tried to put Callie into a box, she just seemed to spring straight out again. He’d thought her capable of steamrolling over him and his crew if he allowed her to, and then she’d shown herself to be sensitive enough to make a difference to the way Eve saw herself. Ben had tried to limit her to the role of observer, and she’d shown him that she wasn’t just that either.

Perhaps he had trust issues. It made no difference what Callie did, he couldn’t bring himself to trust the warmth that her mere presence sparked in his chest. Maybe he never would truly trust a woman that he was attracted to ever again.

When he knocked on Mrs Jacobs’s front door, he meant to stay on the doorstep, but she wouldn’t have any of it, ushering him inside and telling him that he couldn’t possibly compete with the mess that her two teenagers were capable of making. Callie was kneeling beside Mae, chatting to her, and looked up when he entered the sitting room.

‘Everything all right?’

‘Yes. The fire’s out and we’re making everything safe.’ He trusted his crew. He’d trusted Callie, back at the house, when she’d snapped suddenly into the role of paramedic. Maybe that was what he should remember, rather than the way her smile seemed to plunge his whole world into chaos.

‘The ambulance is on its way?’

‘Yes.’

Mae had turned her gaze up toward them, obviously following their conversation. By the simple expediency of cleaning her glasses and making sure that her hearing aids were seated correctly, Callie had wrought an amazing change in the elderly lady. Ben bent down, smiling at Mae.

‘How are you feeling now?’

‘Callie says I have to go to the hospital...’ Her voice was cracked and hoarse, but it was difficult to tell whether that was the effect of emotion or smoke inhalation. ‘On Christmas Eve...’

‘It’s best to be on the safe side. If it were me, I’d take her advice.’

He heard a sharp intake of breath behind him. Mae’s presence in the room had probably saved him from the humiliation of one of Callie’s put-downs.

Mae’s questioning gaze focussed somewhere to his left, and he turned. Callie’s smile was almost certainly for Mae’s benefit, but still it made Ben’s heart thump.

‘I’ll come to the hospital with you, Mae. We’ll find ourselves a handsome doctor in a Santa hat, eh?’

‘Thank you dear. You’re very kind.’ Mae managed a smile. ‘I’ll pick a nice doctor for you.’

Callie chuckled. ‘Make sure you do. I don’t want just any old one.’

He couldn’t do anything to help with the journey to the hospital but he could make things a bit better for Mae’s return. ‘I know someone who’ll board up the window for you. I’ll write their number down...’

Mrs Jacobs rummaged in a drawer and produced a pen and paper. Ben scribbled the number on it and handed it to Callie. ‘Tell them I gave you their details. They’ll liaise with the insurance company and help get things moving.’

Mae shot him a worried look. ‘How much will it cost?’

‘It won’t cost you anything. All part of the service, Mae.’ It wasn’t officially part of the service. The number was for a local charity. It had been Ben’s idea to contact them and set up a task force to help vulnerable people clean up after a fire, and he and a number of the station staff volunteered with them.

‘And when you get back from the hospital, you’ll stay here over Christmas.’ Mrs Jacobs sat down on the sofa next to Mae. ‘No arguments, now. Stan and the boys will go over to your place and help sort things out there.’

‘But...it’s Christmas.’ Despite her neighbour’s firm tone, Mae argued anyway.

‘Exactly. It’ll do them good to go and do something, instead of sitting around watching TV and eating. I’m sure Stan’s put on a couple of pounds already so he can do with the exercise.’

‘You’re very kind.’ A tear dribbled down Mae’s cheek. ‘All of you.’

‘It’s Christmas. We’ll all pull together, eh?’ Mrs Jacobs put her arm around Mae and the old lady smiled, nodding quietly.

Ben beckoned to Callie and she frowned. He glared back, beckoning again more forcefully, and she rolled her eyes and followed him into the hallway.

‘What? I’m busy.’

The tight-lipped implication that she was just trying to do her job and that he was getting in the way wasn’t lost on Ben.

‘I just wanted to know... How is Mae? Really?’

Callie’s angry glare softened slightly and she puffed out a breath. ‘I’ve checked her over the best I can, and she doesn’t seem to be having any difficulty with her breathing. But she has a headache and she seemed very confused earlier, and you can hear she’s a bit hoarse. She needs to be seen by a doctor. I’m going to stay with her.’

The thought that Callie might not come back to the fire station once she had finished here filled Ben with unexpected dismay. He had no one but himself to blame if she made that decision.

‘I shouldn’t have said that you were in the way earlier. It won’t happen again.’

‘I can take care of myself in these situations. I do it all the time.’

‘Got it. I apologise.’ Ben saw her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Was that what she thought of him? He was perfectly capable of saying sorry when the situation warranted it.

But prolonging the conversation now while she was still angry with him probably wasn’t a good idea. He’d said his piece and he should go.

‘I’ll see you later?’ Ben tried not to make a question out of it, but his own doubts leaked through into his words. Callie gave a nod and he turned, making for the front door. He guessed he’d just have to wait and see about that.

* * *

The wait at the hospital hadn’t been too protracted, and after X-rays and lung capacity tests had been carried out, Mae was discharged. They arrived back at Mrs Jacobs’s house to find that the charity task force that Ben had put her in touch with had already boarded up Mae’s window.

She had no qualms about leaving Mae here. Two cups of tea and a plate of mince pies appeared, and a yelled exhortation brought Mrs Jacobs’s son tumbling down the stairs, a board game in his hand. He and Mae began to sort through the pieces together, and Mae finally smiled.

Mae’s Christmas would be just fine. Callie’s was a little more uncertain. The success of her project at the fire station depended on clearing the air with Ben, and there was no time to sit quietly and wait for him to let her in. She had to do something.

She took a taxi back to the fire station. He wasn’t with the others in the ready room and Callie found him alone in the small office with the door wide open. She tapped on the doorframe and he looked up.

Blue eyes. The most photogenic eyes she’d ever seen, flickering with warmth and the hint of steel. The kind of eyes that the camera loved and... That was all. The camera loved them but Callie was just an impartial observer.

‘Everything okay?’

‘Yes. Mae was discharged from the hospital and she’ll be staying with Mrs Jacobs over Christmas. The charity task force has been great.’

‘Good.’ His gaze was fixed on her face. ‘I’ve been thinking about what you might be wanting to say to me.’

Perhaps he was trying out a management technique. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Callie sat down.

‘Okay, I’ll play. What might I be wanting to say to you?’

‘That I’m not giving you credit for the experience that you have. You need access to be able to work and I’m being unreasonable in withholding it.’

Actually, that pretty much summed it up. Callie dismissed the rather queasy feeling that accompanied the idea that he’d been reading her thoughts.

‘And... I guess that you’d say in return that you and the others rely on teamwork. That kind of trust isn’t made over a matter of days and you’re not sure of me yet.’

The look on Ben’s face told her that she was right. More than that, he found it just as disconcerting as she did to hear someone else voice his thoughts.

‘I’ll...um... I’ll be honest. I wasn’t much in favour of you being here when the station commander first told me about it.’

‘Really? You hid that well.’ Callie risked a joke. Somehow she knew that he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

He narrowed his eyes. Maybe he was taking it the wrong way. Then suddenly Ben smiled. ‘So we see eye to eye, then.’

Rather too much so. If he really could see what was going on in her head... Callie gulped down the sudden feeling of panic. Of course he couldn’t.

The awkward silence was broken by the alarm bell. Ben rose from his seat, making hurriedly for the door, and Callie followed him.

She took her turn climbing up into the fire engine and found Ben sitting opposite her. As the sirens went on and they started to move out of the fire station, he leaned forward, bracing his foot against the lurching of the vehicle and checking her helmet.

Callie frowned. He’d been the one to say it and he hadn’t even listened to himself. He was still double-checking everything she did.

‘If I get the chance, I’ll take you in as close as I think we can safely go.’ The light in his blue eyes kindled suddenly.

‘Thanks for that, boss.’

Ben’s eyebrows shot up as he realised that Callie was using the word ‘boss’ to make a point. Then he grinned. Maybe this was going to work after all.

* * *

The word ‘boss’ on Callie’s lips could hardly be anything other than a challenge. But they’d both risen to it. Ben had motioned her to stand next to him as he directed the firefighters in extinguishing a small blaze at the back of a shop. Callie had become like a shadow, never giving him a moment’s concern for her safety, and adroitly stepping out of the way of both equipment and firefighters.

‘I got some good shots. They’ll do you all justice.’ She waited until he was about to tell her that they were leaving now, catching his attention for the first time since they’d been there.

‘Good. Thank you.’ He smiled, and she smiled back. Then she turned to join the rest of the crew climbing back into the fire engine, leaving Ben with the distinct impression that his legs were about to give way under him.

It took some time to persuade himself that this evening would be nothing to do with wanting to spend more time with Callie but simply a matter of showing her another side of the job. But for once she made things easy for him. As the night shift arrived she hung back in the ready room, flipping almost disinterestedly through the photos she’d taken that day, as if she were waiting for something.

Ben dismissed the thought that it might be him. But then he found himself caught in her clear gaze.

‘I wanted to catch you before I left. To say thank you for this afternoon.’

‘My pleasure. You have plans for tonight?’ Ben tried to make the question sound innocent. He’d already heard Callie’s answer when Eve had asked earlier.

‘No, not really. It’s an hour’s drive home and I’ll probably just curl up with some hot soup and decide what I want to try and shoot tomorrow. You?’

‘I’m going carol singing. We have a decommissioned fire engine, which is kept at one of the other stations. It’s used for charity and public awareness events and this evening it’s parked up in town. You should join me.’

She gave a little shake of her head. ‘Are you ever entirely off duty?’

These days...no. Ben had always been immersed in his job but he’d known where to draw the line between work and home. But in the last year his work had been a welcome relief from worrying about what Isabel might do next.

He reached inside his jacket, laying two hats on the table. ‘Can’t really be on duty when you’re wearing one of these.’

Callie’s hand drifted forward, her fingers brushing the white ‘fur’ around the edge of the Santa hat and then moving to the bells around the edge of the green elf hat. A sudden vision of texture and movement and the feel of Callie’s fingers on his skin drifted into his head. He could tell she was tempted to accept his offer.

‘You get to pick. Elf or Santa.’

She smiled. ‘I’ll be Santa.’

Of course she would. He was beginning to understand that this was something they shared, and that she too never felt entirely comfortable unless she was holding the reins.

‘Okay.’ He handed her the Santa hat. ‘Play your cards right and you might get to drive the sleigh.’

* * *

Green suited Ben. No doubt red would have done too, but Callie had to admit that he made a very handsome elf. No doubt he’d be the one who got presents wrapped twice as fast, without even breaking a sweat.

After the bustle of the fire station and the cheery goodbyes of the crew she’d suddenly felt very alone. She’d had to remind herself that returning to her cold, dark flat was exactly the way she wanted it. No one to welcome her home meant that there was no one to pull the carpet out from under her feet.

She pulled on a down gilet for warmth and put on her coat and gloves, attaching her camera to a lanyard around her neck, ready for use. Tonight was about photos and not Christmas cheer, she told herself stubbornly.

The quickest and easiest way to get to the centre of London was by the Underground. They left their cars at the fire station and twenty minutes later they were in the heart of the city.

The fire engine was parked on the edge of a small square, flanked by bars and shops, and there were still plenty of people on the street. As they walked towards it through the crowds, Callie could see that one side of the vehicle had been decorated to turn it into Santa’s sleigh. There were carol singers and people were crowding around a warmly clad man in a Santa costume, who was helping children up into the driving seat.

Ben greeted the men already there and introduced Callie. Their names were lost in the music and chatter, but there were smiles and suddenly it didn’t much matter who she was or why she was here. She was just one of the team.

A bundle of leaflets was pressed into Ben’s hands and he set to work, wishing everyone a happy Christmas, in between singing along with the carols in a deep baritone. He placed leaflets in everyone’s hands with a smiling exhortation to read them on the way home.

Callie picked up a leaflet that had fluttered to the ground. On one side were wishes for a safe and happy Christmas from the London Fire Brigade. On the other side was some basic fire safety advice that was easy to read and follow.

‘So all this has an ulterior motive?’ She saw Ben looking at her and she smiled.

‘You could call it that. Although I reckon that having a house fire is one of the unhappier things that can happen to anyone, so it’s really just a practical extension of us telling everyone to have a happy Christmas...’

He turned for a moment as a woman tapped his arm, responding to her question. ‘Yes, that’s the British Standards safety sign. Always make sure your tree lights carry it.’

‘Okay. I’ll check mine when I get home.’

‘Great.’ Ben gifted her with the kind of smile that would persuade the angels themselves to switch off their heavenly lights if they weren’t up to safety standards and wished her a happy Christmas.

‘Can I take some of those?’ Callie pointed to the leaflets in his hand.

‘Yes, of course. Don’t you want to take some photographs?’

That was what she was there for but her camera was zipped under her coat and taking it out seemed like taking a step back from the circle of warmth and light around the fire engine. Realistically it was impossible to reduce the children’s delight as they were lifted up into the driving seat to just one frame, so instead she took the opportunity to just feel the joy.

‘Later maybe. I’ve got an interest in this, too.’ As a paramedic, Callie didn’t fight fires but she’d seen some of the of the injuries they caused.

He handed half his stack of leaflets to Callie. Ben didn’t say a word but his grin spoke volumes. No more fighting each other. The season of peace and joy seemed to be working its magic.


CHAPTER FIVE (#u0f2a7c84-a53a-5354-84f3-7df0288185ed)

SUDDENLY IT FELT like Christmas. Callie was animated and smiling, approaching people on the edge of the crowd that had gathered around them and giving them leaflets. She seemed softer, warmer somehow. As if she’d dropped her defences and with them the hard edges that didn’t quite suit her.

‘Getting cold?’ Even though she was never still, she couldn’t disguise her red fingers. Gloves made it difficult to separate the leaflets and hand them out, and she’d taken hers off and stuffed them in her pocket.

‘Yes, a little.’ She smiled up at him, clearly not of a mind to let frozen fingers stop her.

‘There are flasks with hot coffee...’ He motioned up towards the cabin of the fire engine, which was now closed and dark. The families had all gone home now, and the crowd mainly consisted of revellers, wanting to squeeze the last moments from their pre-Christmas celebrations.

‘So that’s why everyone’s been nipping up there every now and then? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’d love some.’

‘You have to give out at least a hundred leaflets before you get coffee.’

‘Well, I’ve given out three handfuls. That must be a hundred so...’ She gripped the front of his jacket in a mock threat. ‘Give me my coffee, elf. Or else...’

However much he wanted to warm up, standing his ground now seemed like a delicious moment that couldn’t be missed. ‘Or else what?’

‘Or... I’ll make you collect up all the old wrapping paper, peel the sticky tape off it and smooth it flat to use next year.’ She grinned.

‘In that case...’ Submitting to the threat was another delicious moment that made the hairs on the back of Ben’s neck stand to attention. ‘This way, Santa.’

He led her over to the fire engine, opening the door for her, and Callie climbed up into the cockpit, sliding across to sit behind the wheel. Ben followed her, reaching for the three large flasks in the footwell. Two were already empty, but the third was heavy when he picked it up.

As he poured the coffee, he saw Callie’s fingers touch the bottom of the steering wheel lightly, as if she was yearning to take hold of it and pretend to drive, the way kids did when you sat them in that seat. She was looking ahead of her, the bright Christmas lights reflecting in her face, softening her features. Or maybe it was just the look on her face.

‘Thanks.’ She wrapped her fingers around the cup, clearly wanting to warm them before she drank. Ben poured a second cup for himself and propped it on the dashboard. The only heat he wanted right now was the heat of her smile.

‘You can try it out for size if you want.’ He nodded towards the steering wheel. ‘I won’t tell anyone.’

The thought seemed tempting to her, but she shook her head. ‘Bit late for that now.’

‘It’s never too late...’ Ben let the thought roll in his head. It was an odd one, since he’d privately reckoned that it was too late for him.

And Callie seemed to think that too. She shook her head, turning to him with a smile. ‘Did you sit in a fire engine when you were a kid?’

‘All the time. My dad was a firefighter and he used to lift me up into the driving seat of the engines whenever my Mum took me to the fire station.’

‘So you knew all along what you wanted to be when you grew up.’

‘Yeah.’ Ben wondered which side of her life had been a childhood dream. Photographer or paramedic. ‘What did you want to be?’

‘Safe...’ The word had obviously escaped her lips before she had a chance to stop it, and Callie reddened a little.

‘Safe is a good ambition.’

Her gaze met his, a trace of mockery in it. Do you even know what safe is? Ben realised that it was the last thing he’d have thought about wanting when he’d been a child. He always had been safe.

For a moment the questions he wanted to ask hung in the cold air. Then Callie shrugged, grinning. ‘My dad died when I was six. He was a police officer and he was killed in the line of duty. That was when I found out that...anything can be taken away.’

‘I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how that must have felt.’

She shrugged. ‘I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it either. How did you deal with the risks of your father’s job?’

‘I guess... I never had to think about them. He always came home.’

‘And now? You must have thought about them when you joined the fire service.’

The question seemed important to her, and Ben thought carefully about his answer. ‘There are some things that are important enough to take risks to achieve. Without that, a life can become meaningless. And we don’t take risks for their own sake, you know that we’re all about safety.’

Callie nodded silently. She didn’t seem much convinced by his answer and Ben had the feeling he hadn’t heard the whole story.

‘But you never felt safe? As a child?’

‘I did for a while. Mum remarried and I thought that we’d go back to being a family.’ She shrugged. ‘Her new husband ran up a pile of debts and then disappeared. We lost our house and pretty much everything we owned. After that it was horrible. Mum worked all the time and I was scared to be in our bedsit on my own. We got back on our feet but it was a struggle for her.’

Callie spoke almost dispassionately, as if she didn’t care that she’d lost her father and then her home. In Ben’s experience that meant she cared a great deal.

Nothing he could say felt enough. He reached for her hand, feeling a deep thankfulness when she didn’t snatch it away.

‘Here...’ He guided her hand to the steering wheel, wrapping his over it. ‘How does that feel?’

She gave a nervous laugh. ‘That feels pretty good.’

‘Try the other one.’ He reached across, taking her coffee from the other hand, and Callie took hold of the steering wheel and gazed out ahead of her. Suddenly she laughed.

‘Okay. You’ve made your point. I’m sitting on top of...how many horsepower?’

‘About two hundred and fifty.’

‘That much? And I’m looking over everyone’s heads. It feels good.’

‘Is powerful the word you’re looking for?’ Ben remembered the feeling of sitting behind the wheel when he was a child. Of being able to do anything, meet any challenge. That seemed to be the ultimate safety.

‘That’ll do.’

Suddenly he wanted very badly to kiss her. If he really could meet any challenge then perhaps he could meet this one? But Callie took her hands from the steering wheel and the spell was broken. She reached for her cup, wrapping her fingers around it again, and sipped the hot coffee.

Large snowflakes began to fall from the night sky, drifting down and melting as soon as they touched the pavement. Ben ignored them in favour of watching her face. It tipped upwards as the snowfall became heavier, a sudden taste of the magic of Christmas. Callie wasn’t as unreachable as she tried to make out.

‘There’s always one, isn’t there?’ She quirked her lips down suddenly, and Ben could almost see the real world taking over from the imaginary. He followed her gaze, looking towards a couple of men in business suits and heavy overcoats, clearly involved in a drunken argument.

‘Yep.’ He wanted to tell her to disregard them. To come back with him to the world where it always snowed at Christmas, and where it was still possible to make up for all the things Callie hadn’t had during her childhood. But one of the men suddenly took a swing at the other.




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