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The Nanny's Secret Baby
Lee Tobin McClain


What she knows will change everything… at Redemption Ranch Arianna Shrader’s new nanny gig is more than a job—it’s an opportunity to bond with the infant boy she gave up to her sister for adoption. But widower Jack DeMoise doesn’t know she’s not just his child’s aunt. As Arianna grows closer to the ranch veterinarian and his son, can she find a way to reveal her secret…and become a permanent part of their family?







What she knows will change everything...

at Redemption Ranch

Arianna Shrader’s new nanny gig is more than a job—it’s an opportunity to bond with the infant boy she gave up to her sister for adoption. But widower Jack DeMoise doesn’t know she’s not just his child’s aunt. As Arianna grows closer to the ranch veterinarian and his son, can she find a way to reveal her secret...and become a permanent part of their family?


LEE TOBIN McCLAIN read Gone with the Wind in the third grade and has been a hopeless romantic ever since. When she’s not writing angst-filled love stories with happy endings, she’s getting inspiration from her church singles group, her gymnastics-obsessed teenage daughter, and her rescue dog and cat. In her day job, Lee gets to encourage aspiring romance writers in Seton Hill University’s low-residency MFA program. Visit her at leetobinmcclain.com (http://www.leetobinmcclain.com).


Also By Lee Tobin McClain (#ua2df74c1-3254-5bf4-9655-a59c3e7e5894)

Redemption Ranch

The Soldier’s Redemption

The Twins’ Family Christmas

The Nanny’s Secret Baby

Rescue River

Engaged to the Single Mom

His Secret Child

Small-Town Nanny

The Soldier and the Single Mom

The Soldier’s Secret Child

A Family for Easter

Safe Haven

Low Country Hero

Low Country Dreams

Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).


The Nanny’s Secret Baby

Lee Tobin McClain






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


ISBN: 978-1-474-09678-2

THE NANNY’S SECRET BABY

© 2019 Lee Tobin McClain

Published in Great Britain 2019

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.

® and ™ are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)




Note to Readers (#ua2df74c1-3254-5bf4-9655-a59c3e7e5894)


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“Sammy notices animals more than he notices people,” Jack said.

Arianna looked up quickly. “That must be hard to deal with.”

He nodded. “I’m used to it.” He held up the puppy so Sammy could see it. “Dog,” Jack said.

Sammy didn’t speak.

“Does he know the word?”

“He used to,” Jack said, and pain twisted his heart.

He met Arianna’s eyes and saw a matching sorrow in hers.

The intimacy of their shared emotion felt too raw, and he looked away, focusing on the puppy. “He’s healthy,” he told her, “just too young to be left alone.”

“Poor thing. I wonder what his story is.”

Jack shook his head. “There are all kinds of reasons why a mother can’t raise her pup,” he said.

Arianna drew in a sharp breath, and when he looked up, her eyes glittered with unshed tears. Funny, he hadn’t realized she was so sensitive. He put a hand on hers. “We’ll find him a new mama,” he reassured her.

She swallowed hard and nodded, and then Sammy started to fuss and the moment was over.


Dear Reader (#ua2df74c1-3254-5bf4-9655-a59c3e7e5894),

This third book in the Redemption Ranch series is special to me, because it’s about how we can be free to be our perfectly imperfect selves. Arianna feels shame about mistakes she made in the past; that sense of inadequacy, plus a promise she made to her sister, pushes her to keep a secret that should never have been. As for Jack, he believes he’s too staid and dull for a colorful, flamboyant woman like Arianna. The reality is that both of them are just as God made them to be, their mistakes can be forgiven...and they’re perfect for one another. How wonderful!

The cream-colored puppy, Buster, who shows up on Arianna’s doorstep has a real-life model: my own golden doodle, Nash. If you enjoyed Buster, visit @nash_the_goldendoodle’s (https://www.instagram.com/nash_the_goldendoodle/) Instagram account to keep up with a lot of dog shenanigans.

Thank you for reading, and may God’s blessings follow you wherever you go.

Lee


Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

—2 Corinthians 5:17


This book is dedicated to all parents of children with autism, especially my friend Laura, who read parts of this manuscript to help me portray the condition accurately. All remaining mistakes are my own.


Contents

Cover (#uad1f6cb9-4243-5839-8674-6c043b9cd180)

Back Cover Text (#u76ae7b15-d3bc-50c8-9a8c-5e35f9bc1812)

About the Author (#u21b9f435-9adc-5229-9e20-c65371fb8464)

Booklist (#u5ce2460a-24a4-5c52-9980-1b82ffb8d0b5)

Title Page (#u8b3e1479-b95f-5a9a-b9a8-1e1ff5a8d10d)

Copyright (#u148f4576-7373-571a-8124-e69127eff93a)

Note to Readers

Introduction (#ufd83b654-4653-5e08-88e9-de3a94c6b93d)

Dear Reader (#u41182d22-7fea-5bfe-8b6d-f8d2502b7343)

Bible Verse (#uf47438bd-95f8-5e91-853e-5e889474575e)

Dedication (#uc2c61c42-bbdd-5428-ae20-a4f91ca4b8f9)

Chapter One (#u9be763c5-142f-5920-a4ce-e8e471b15577)

Chapter Two (#u839cd925-8846-53c2-a7a4-58aae75a33f4)

Chapter Three (#ufda9b955-1ecc-5a7d-889f-f00d540d549c)

Chapter Four (#u89451871-577d-58f1-905d-e152c8f8d4a8)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)

Extract (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)




Chapter One (#ua2df74c1-3254-5bf4-9655-a59c3e7e5894)


Jack DeMoise watched his eighteen-month-old son bang a block against the doctor’s desk drawer.

“He’s going to need as much attention and support as you can give him,” Dr. Rutherford said. “We’re learning more and more about this condition. His best odds would be to get a TSS—therapeutic support staff—team on board right away. Hope your wife is organized!”

Jack drew in a breath and let it out slowly before meeting the other man’s eyes. “There’s no reason you should remember this from the intake papers, but I’m a widower.”

The doctor’s face fell, just a little. Most people wouldn’t even have noticed, but Jack was accustomed to reading emotions carefully, from small tells. It had been a crucial skill with his wife. “Do you work full-time yourself?” the doctor asked.

Jack nodded. “My job can be flexible, though.” Except when it isn’t. “I’m a small-town veterinarian. I’ve had several good babysitters, but I’m not sure any of them are up to...” He reached down and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “To helping me manage Sammy’s care the right way.”

The doctor frowned. “You need someone experienced with kids, someone who connects well with him. Ideally, a person with special-needs experience, though that’s not a requirement. A full-time nanny would be ideal.”

And where was he supposed to find such a person in his small Colorado town?

The doctor stood and smiled down at Sammy. “Cute little guy. You can see the people in the front office to schedule his next appointment.”

As the doctor left the exam room, Sammy lifted his arms, and Jack knelt to pick him up and held him close.

Autism.

The diagnosis didn’t shock him—he’d had suspicions—but the reality of figuring out a coping strategy was hitting him hard.

Two hours later, back at their new home at Redemption Ranch, Jack had just gotten Sammy down for a nap when the sound of a loud, mufflerless car broke the mountain silence. He hurried to close Sammy’s window, glanced back at the crib to make sure his son was still sleeping and then looked outside.

From this angle, all he could see was a tangle of red curls emerging from a rusty subcompact.

Arianna. He’d heard she was in town.

He took another deep breath before double-timing it down the steps to anticipate his former sister-in-law’s loud knock on the door. Once Sammy was asleep, you didn’t want to repeat the complicated process that had made it happen.

He opened the door just as Arianna was lifting her hand to knock. Under her other arm, she held a giant painting, done in her trademark primitive style.

“When I heard you’d moved, I wanted to bring a housewarming gift,” she said. “And a treat for Sammy. Sorry I didn’t call first. Is this a bad time?”

“I just got him down,” Jack said. He half felt like closing the door in Arianna’s face, but he couldn’t. She was his son’s aunt after all, even if her chronic disorganization and flamboyance had driven his wife crazy, causing some disturbing family fights. Arianna was way out of his comfort zone. “Come on in,” he said. “What are you doing in Colorado?”

She waved a hand. “I’m in town visiting family. Thinking about moving back to the area. Penny had mentioned she might do some art therapy with the vets, so I came up to try to sell myself.”

“Out of a job again?” he asked as he carried the canvas she’d brought to the middle of the living room. “Pretty,” he added, gesturing at the wild yellow painting.

“Jack!” She blew out a sigh he could hear from behind him and then flopped down onto the couch. “Yeah. I’m out of a job. How’d you know?”

He shrugged and sat on the big chair catty-corner to the couch. “Just a guess.” He let his head rest against the back of the chair.

“You look awful,” she said with her usual blunt honesty. “What’s going on?”

He looked at her sideways without lifting his head. “Sammy and I visited the doctor today,” he said.

She sat up straighter. “Bad news?”

“Yeah. No. I don’t know.” He kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the ottoman. “We got a diagnosis I was hoping we wouldn’t get.”

“Oh no!” The panic in her voice was real. “Is he going to be okay? What’s wrong?”

Her concern brought him upright, and he leaned forward, waving a hand to calm her. “He’s fine, he’s going to be just fine. It’s not some horrible disease.”

“Tell me!”

“It’s autism.”

She sucked in a breath, looked up at the ceiling. He thought she was looking in the direction of Sammy’s room. Maybe even praying—she was a fairly new Christian, from what his wife had said only weeks before she’d died.

But when Arianna looked back at him, he realized her eyes were glittering with tears she was trying not to let fall.

“Hey,” he said, moved by her concern. Everyone in town liked him and Sammy just fine, but there was nobody who felt the intensity of this diagnosis like he did. Or so he’d thought. “He’ll be okay. It’s just...I have to figure out how to cope, make some new plans.”

“I’m sure.” She drew in a couple of deep breaths and looked out the window. He wondered if the view of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains would calm her, like it did him.

“He’ll be okay,” he repeated. “There’s so much help available these days.”

“You don’t sound that surprised.” She studied him, head cocked to one side, eyes confused.

“I... No.” He looked at her. “I kind of knew.”

She frowned. “I should have guessed. I’ve done art therapy with kids who had the condition a fair amount, and now that you mention it...he does seem kinda like those kids. Although he’s his own sweet, wonderful self,” she added fiercely. “If he’s going to grow up a little different from neurotypical kids, that’s okay. I’ll still love him just as much.”

“I will, too,” Jack said mildly, surprised at her vehemence. But on the few occasions she’d spent time with him and Sammy, she’d been an enthusiastic aunt. More enthusiastic about Sammy, when it came to it, than her sister, Chloe, his wife, had been. “The problem is that I have to hire a nanny, and there aren’t many candidates in Esperanza Springs.”

“I could do it,” she said.

Jack stared at her. “You?” He couldn’t keep the surprise and doubt out of his voice.

“Just until you find somebody permanent,” she amended quickly. “I mean, no way could I do that long term, of course, but I’d like to help if you’re in a spot.”

“Wow, thanks, Arianna, but...” He trailed off.

How to tell Arianna that she looked too much like her sister? That she was too disorganized? That her liveliness and fun were a direct contrast to his own staid, boring life...and that they disturbed him?

She leaned forward, one eyebrow raised, a long leg crossed over the other. “What, Jack? Go ahead, say it.”

“It’s just...I guess I was thinking of a Mary Poppins type,” he said, trying to make a joke of it. “You know, laced up and experienced and efficient.”

“Sure. You’re right, of course.” She sighed and stood up. “I’m nobody’s idea of a good employee apparently. But I’m here to help if you need me.”

He felt like a heel as he followed her to the door, unable to keep his eyes off her chaotic, shining curls. “I appreciate your coming by and bringing the gift,” he said, although truthfully, he had no idea where he’d put the giant sunflower. It didn’t exactly match the couch. “Stop back and see Sammy anytime.”

That comment made her whole form brighten, and she turned to him. “Thanks, I will. I miss seeing the little guy. I need a Sammy hug.”

It occurred to him to wonder why she needed a hug, but that wasn’t his business. He opened the door for her and held it while she walked out, the scent of musky roses tickling his nose.

Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to get involved with a woman like Arianna, colorful and warm and relaxed. But he always stifled the notion. He realized, almost instantly, that it shouldn’t and wouldn’t happen.

Love and marriage weren’t about fun; they were about sacrifice and responsibility and hard work.

And getting drawn to Arianna made his face heat and his stomach churn with guilt, because of Chloe and all her suspicions. She’d died fourteen months ago, but her angry accusations still rang in his ears.

Anyway, and fortunately, no woman like Arianna would be attracted to a methodical, scientific nerd like him.

One minute later, his business phone buzzed, and five minutes after that, he was trying to figure out how to get someone to come watch Sammy while he drove to one of the neighboring ranches to help with a cow that was suffering from a dangerous case of bloat.

He’d moved from town up to Redemption Ranch because he’d seen how happy the wide-open spaces made Sammy. Made him, too, really. The fact that he believed in the ranch’s mission as a haven for struggling veterans and senior dogs was a factor, too. Living here, he could serve as the ranch’s on-site veterinarian, which was a needed role and one he relished.

On the downside, moving up here meant he was thirty minutes away from his normal babysitters, and they had both just refused to come at this short notice. He hated to impose by asking Penny, the ranch owner, or Willie, a Vietnam veteran and permanent resident of the ranch.

You could just ask Arianna.

The thought came to him, and before he could second-guess himself, he was out the door. Arianna was walking back toward her car from Penny’s house. “She’s not home,” she called in explanation.

“Could you stay a couple of hours with Sammy now?” he asked, holding up his phone. “Vet emergency.”

Her face lit up like he’d offered her the world. “Of course! I’d love to!”

He beckoned her in and showed her the laminated instruction sheets he’d made for Sammy’s care. A little ridiculous, but Sammy was particular.

Now Jack knew at least a part of the reason why.

A smile tugged at the corner of Arianna’s mouth. “It’ll all be okay, Jack, really,” she said. “I know Sammy, and I’ve worked with autistic kids before. Go help your...steer or whatever. We’ll be fine.”

* * *

Three hours later, Arianna patted Sammy’s back as he bounced a bedraggled blue-and-white-checked bear. Whew. She’d finally found the toy he needed, and for the moment, he was content.

She, on the other hand, was anything but. Getting to take care of Sammy was sweet torture. She loved him with all her being, and Chloe had never let her be alone with him. She leaned forward and kissed the sweaty top of his head as he pushed his stuffed bear back and forth, humming tunelessly.

He glanced back at her as if slightly surprised but didn’t reject the contact. Good. She knew that some kids on the spectrum resisted physical touch, but Sammy didn’t seem to be in that category.

She looked around the living room, noting the bare walls, the end tables devoid of decoration, the shortage of pillows on the couch. Of course, Jack had just moved in. He hadn’t had time to add the small touches that made a house a home.

Would he ever? Was he the kind of man who could do that, could be both mom and dad?

Oh, how she’d like to stay nearby and care for Sammy. But the job situation in the small ranching town of Esperanza Springs was bleak. At most, she might be able to cobble together some part-time gigs, but to support herself...not likely.

She’d find work aplenty in a bigger city, where her education would be valued and her references—which were actually stellar—could help her to get a job.

But she liked Esperanza Springs, had spent a lot of time here as a kid and young adult. Now, with her parents living in Europe and her sister gone, Sammy, plus the aunt and uncle she was staying with, were the only family she had.

And she was the only one who knew the truth about him.

The sound of a vehicle pulling in outside, the slam of a car door, made her jerk to attention. Was Jack back already?

Sammy held his bear to his chest and stared impassively at the door.

It opened.

It was Jack. And his handsome face went from gladness to amazed frustration as he looked around the living room.

Arianna looked around, too, wondering what his expression meant. As she took in the overturned basket of toys, the three sippy cups she’d tried until she’d found the one Sammy would accept, the box of diapers she’d brought down from Sammy’s room and not found time to take back up, she realized what was bothering him.

“I meant to clean up,” she said. Why was she so messy? When was she ever going to get organized? Chloe, thin and disciplined and neat, would never have let her house get into such disarray.

Of course, Chloe would never have let her care for Sammy at all.

“It’s okay.” He walked over to Sammy. He knelt beside the boy, picked him up and swung him high.

Sammy struggled to get down, and Jack let him. Then he sat and rubbed circles on his back.

Sammy went back to his bear, gently bouncing it.

“Up, down. Up, down.” Arianna said the words in rhythm with the bear’s bounces and watched Sammy for any recognition of the words.

“He doesn’t talk,” Jack said, his voice bleak. “I’ve done some reading, listened to some podcasts on autism. I guess that’s part of it.”

“It’s probably a delay, right? Not a life sentence.”

“I hope.”

“When he heard your car, he sat there looking at the door until you came in. And when he wanted water instead of juice, he, um, persisted until I understood. That’s all communication.” If Jack got discouraged, gave up on Sammy, she couldn’t handle it.

“Thanks, Arianna.” He gave her a brief, haggard smile. “And thanks for staying with him on no notice. It was kind of you.” He gave the messy room another glance.

Oh brother. “Let me go clean up the kitchen,” she said. “You stay here with Sammy.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jack stood and followed her. “He plays well by himself.”

She hurried in and knelt by the overturned trash can, stuffing garbage back into the container. When she looked up, Jack had stopped at the doorway, looking stunned.

“I’ll clean it up!” She grabbed paper towels to wipe up the floor where the garbage had spilled, then rinsed her hands and started putting away beverage containers.

“Arianna.” His hand on her shoulder felt big and warm and gentle. She sucked in a breath and went still.

He pulled his hand away. “It’s okay. I can do this.”

“No.” She spun back toward the cracker-scattered counter to hide her discomfort, started brushing crackers and crumbs into the sink. “I made the mess. It’s only fair I clean it up. See, especially for kids with disabilities, low blood sugar is the enemy. But you have all these special requirements—” she gestured toward the laminated sheets “—so it took a little longer.”

“There’s leftover chicken and rice in the fridge. You could have served him that.”

“I didn’t see it.” But another, more practical person—like Chloe—would have looked harder.

“Look,” he said, “I appreciate what you’ve done, more than you know. But right now, I’ll be fine.”

You didn’t have to be a genius to read the subtext. I want to be alone with my son.

“Of course.” She sidled past him out to the living room and found her purse. She knelt down by Sammy, swallowing hard. “Good to hang with you, little man,” she whispered.

Then she went to the door, where Jack stood, no doubt impatient for her to go. “See ya,” she said, aiming for breezy.

He tilted his head to one side. “You okay?”

She nodded quickly, forced a smile.

“Thanks again. Stay in touch.”

Stay in touch. The same thing you’d say to a friend you encountered after some time away, a friend you really didn’t much want to see again.

Her throat tightened, and she coughed harshly as she hurried to her car. She didn’t deserve to cry.

Didn’t deserve a job. Didn’t deserve to spend time with Sammy. Didn’t deserve any kind of warmth from her former brother-in-law, Jack.

She drove carefully down to the ranch’s entrance, glanced back to make sure she was out of sight of Jack’s new house, and then pulled off the road.

She drew deep breaths, trying to get calm, but it was impossible.

She’d just spent time—botched her time, really—with precious Sammy.

Her adopted nephew.

And, unknown to anyone on this earth but her and Sammy’s adoption agency, her own biological son.




Chapter Two (#ua2df74c1-3254-5bf4-9655-a59c3e7e5894)


The next Thursday, Jack walked out onto his porch with nanny candidate number four, Sammy in his arms. His son’s wails died to a hiccup.

“Aw, he’s such a cute peanut,” the nineteen-year-old said, flicking a long lime-green fingernail under Sammy’s chin, which made him cry again. “Just give me a call about when to start, okay?”

“Um, Mandy,” Jack said to her retreating back. “I don’t think this is going to work out.”

She turned back in the process of extracting a cigarette from her purse. “What do you mean?”

“Sammy didn’t seem to connect with you,” he said. In the course of four nanny interviews, he’d learned to be blunt.

The teenager gave him a disbelieving stare. “He’s autistic,” she said, enunciating the word as if Jack were hard of hearing. “He’s not gonna connect with people.”

“Thanks for your time,” he said, “but I won’t be hiring you.”

She lit her cigarette, inhaled deeply and blew out a lungful of smoke. “What a waste coming up here. I told my mom I didn’t like babysitting.”

Jack blew out a breath as he watched her drive off and then sank down into one of the rockers on the porch, Sammy in his lap. “We dodged a bullet,” he informed his son.

Sammy looked at him solemnly but made no answering sounds, and worry bloomed anew in Jack’s chest. They needed to get started with treatment, but how could he find the time to interview nannies and therapeutic support staffers? He’d already maxed out Mrs. Jennings, his main caregiver in Esperanza Springs; although she’d assured him before that she’d be glad to continue babysitting Sammy after he moved, she’d quickly discovered she didn’t like driving ten miles on mountain roads to get here. And Penny had been sweet, taking care of Sammy twice, but he couldn’t continue asking that of the owner of Redemption Ranch.

From the newly renovated activities center, the sound of laughter made him turn his head. Four men emerged, one of them Carson Blair, his pastor, and another a veteran Jack knew a little. The other two were new to the ranch.

At their center was Arianna.

Before he knew it, he was on his feet, walking over.

“Everything okay here?” he asked. When the conversation abruptly died, he realized he must have sounded harsh.

Carson lifted an eyebrow. “We’re fine over here, Jack. Something up with you?”

I don’t like seeing Arianna surrounded by men, and I don’t know why. “No, everything’s fine,” he said.

Arianna seemed oblivious to any undercurrents. “Oh, hey,” she said to Jack. “What’s up with the little man?” She held out her arms for Sammy, and Jack was about to tell her not to bother, Sammy was upset. But his son considered her offer and then lifted his arms for her to pluck him from his father’s hold.

Immediately, Sammy quieted down. Arianna nuzzled her cheek against his, looking blissful.

Gabe Smith, the veteran Jack had met a few times, greeted him with a friendly handshake. “Hey, Doc, I hate to ask it of you, but could you take a look at Rufus?” He gestured to the porch of the activities center, where a large gray-muzzled dog sprawled. “He’s got a raw spot on his leg.”

“Sure. I’ll get my bag.” And pull myself together.

He had no right to care what his sister-in-law—former sister-in-law—was up to. He had to focus on getting help for Sammy. Another nanny candidate was arriving soon, hopefully better than the last.

He brought out his bag, glanced over to make sure Sammy was still content with Arianna, and then joined Gabe on the porch. Examining Rufus would ground him. Dogs were so straightforward compared to people, and Rufus was a steady, respectable senior dog.

“Where’s Bruiser?” he asked, and as if in answer, an elderly Chihuahua rushed out onto the porch, yipping. He postured stiff-legged in front of Rufus, teeth bared, growling at Jack.

“Hey, whoa, little buddy. I’m not gonna hurt your friend.” He moved closer, sideways, not making eye contact, so as not to threaten the pint-size protector.

“Bruiser!” Gabe scolded. “Quit that.” He picked up the little dog and sat down on the porch step, holding him.

Jack examined the hot spot Gabe was worried about and bandaged it. “We don’t want it to get infected. If he can just go a couple of days without licking it, it’ll heal.”

“Does he have to wear a collar of shame?” Gabe asked. “He hates it.”

“I might have one of the new soft kind in the truck. It’ll be more comfortable for him.” He rubbed Rufus’s big head and ears, and the dog lolled onto his back, panting.

Jack massaged the dog, enjoying the cool mountain breeze on his face. Despite his problems, he had a good life. New friends like Gabe, old friends like Penny, a healthy son, work he loved. And an environment where God’s grandeur was continually on display.

When Arianna approached, Sammy in her arms, he was surprised to see the warm expression on her face.

He gave her a smile in return, and their eyes linked and stayed for a second longer than was polite. Heat washed over him.

A black PT Cruiser chugged up the road then, breaking the mood. It stopped in front of his place, and a woman stepped out. She looked to be a few years older than Jack and was dressed in black slacks and an old-fashioned white blouse. Her hair was caught back in a tight bun. She marched up to his front door and knocked.

“Uh-oh,” he said. “Looks like Sammy and I have an appointment. Gabe, I’ll dig out one of those collars for Rufus and bring it over later. You going to be home?” He waved a hand toward Gabe’s cabin a short distance down the ranch’s main road.

“Sure thing, we’ll be around all day.”

The nanny pounded on his door again and then returned to her car with visible exasperation. She got in and leaned on the horn.

A drop of rain fell, then another. The clouds that had been coming in clustered over them.

The prospective nanny got out of her car, snapped open a black umbrella and marched toward the cabin’s porch again.

“You said you wanted Mary Poppins,” Arianna murmured, a smile tugging at her mouth.

“So I did,” he said with a sigh.

None of this was going to be as easy as he’d hoped.

* * *

“Thanks for letting me stay with you, Aunt Justine,” Arianna said the next morning as she dodged stacks of magazines and newspapers to get their breakfast dishes to the kitchen sink.

“You’re as welcome as can be,” her aunt said. “I just wish the place were in better shape for visitors.” She looked toward the hallway that led back to the bedrooms. “He won’t let me throw anything away, and his stuff is filling up the whole house.”

“I know how hard you try.” Arianna submerged the dishes in soapy water and started to scrub. “I’m either going to find a job and a place to stay within the week, or I’ll have to move back to Chicago.”

“Don’t do that!” Aunt Justine sounded horrified. “You should have settled down here like your sister did, not in that soulless city, when your parents moved overseas. I never could figure out why you chose to live there. I thought you loved it here, especially when you spent that one whole summer here during college.”

Arianna rinsed the dishes and dunked a couple of dirty pans from the counter into the soapy water. It was good that Aunt Justine had never figured out the reason for Arianna’s abrupt departure. Almost no one had known about the mistakes that had led to a surprise pregnancy. That was what had allowed Chloe to adopt Arianna’s baby with no one the wiser.

Including Jack. Arianna sighed. She’d been adamantly opposed to Chloe keeping the truth from her husband. But Chloe had been as embarrassed about her infertility as Arianna was about her out-of-wedlock pregnancy. Somehow, adopting her sister’s baby, and having people know it, made everything worse for Chloe.

And given how sensitive Chloe was, Arianna had given in. It was what she’d been raised to do. Take care of your sister. She’s not strong like you. Don’t upset her.

She pushed thoughts of her younger days out of her mind and asked Aunt Justine about her vegetable garden and the cat that had shown up on the doorstep yesterday. They had a nice chat while Arianna finished the washing up.

“There. That’s better, at least.” Arianna surveyed the empty sink and two feet of clear counter space with satisfaction. “Now, I’m going to go out and sell myself as an art therapist.”

“Thank you for cleaning up, hon. I’ll keep praying for a wonderful job for you.”

Arianna strolled through the town of Esperanza Springs, inhaling the fresh scents of pine and sage that blew down from the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, watching a black-and-white magpie land on someone’s fence post to scold the pedestrians walking by. From the Mountain High Bakery, the cinnamon scent was so powerful that Arianna was sorely tempted to pop in for a scone, even though she’d just had breakfast. But she didn’t need to outgrow her summer clothes, so she walked resolutely past the bakery. She waved at the woman washing the windows of La Boca Feliz Mexican restaurant, and peeked in the hardware store window, then focused on her destination: the children’s summer program housed in a local church. She was hoping they’d jump at the chance to have a real art therapist visit with the kids each week for the rest of the summer.

It had been a long shot, and she’d known it, but she was still disappointed at the firm no she got. Disappointed enough that she stopped in the town park to look out at the mountains, breathe in the fresh air and regroup.

She hadn’t expected to land in a bed of roses when she’d come back to Esperanza Springs. She’d known the market for art therapists would be tiny; this town was about the basics, not the luxuries, and art therapy was considered a luxury by most of the folks around here.

The exception was up at Redemption Ranch. Penny and her staff were forward thinking; they knew that it took various types of therapy to reach veterans, to help them work through PTSD and other mental health issues related to their wartime service.

Maybe she could talk Penny into giving her more work than just the single class per week that she’d offered. And maybe one of the cabins was empty. If she could live rent-free...

It was another long shot, but at least it was worth trying. For the chance to live near her son, it was definitely worth a try. None of her attempts to put the past behind her and get on with her life had worked, so she hoped being near Sammy would help to settle her soul. That was the real reason she’d come back to Colorado.

Although, if Jack found out the truth, he’d be furious. Understandably so. She and Chloe should never have kept something so important from him.

What if he got angry enough to keep her away from Sammy? Could he do that? Would he?

And what about Sammy, when he got old enough to wonder about his adoption and his birth parents?

She shook her head to try to shake off the circling thoughts and tuned back in to the world around her.

“That poor little thing,” a woman was saying. She was on a bench behind Arianna, facing the playground. “They have no idea where he came from.”

Idly, Arianna turned to see who the ladies were talking about.

And then she sucked in a breath. There was Sammy on the playground, just a few feet away from the women, toddling from the slide to the climbing structure, where a set of chimes was available for the kids to bang on.

“Turns out he has autism,” the same woman said to a younger mom seated beside her, who was nursing a baby. “And now that I think about it, look how he just stands there banging on one thing over and over. I should have guessed.”

“What’s Dr. Jack gonna do? He’s a widower, right?”

“I don’t know, but I’m not as young as I used to be. And I didn’t bargain for babysitting an autistic kid.”

Arianna didn’t know how she got to Sammy, but she found herself beside him, facing the two women on the bench. “Look,” she said to the white-haired one, who’d been talking, “he’s a child first. And he might not like to have his condition broadcast to everyone in the park.”

“Who are you?” the white-haired woman asked.

That made Arianna pause, because she couldn’t tell the whole truth, obviously. “I’m his aunt.”

The woman pursed her lips. “I wasn’t expecting to be eavesdropped on and criticized when I took this job,” she said. “I’ve been planning to tell Dr. Jack I’m through. Maybe I’ll just do it today. I don’t need this.”

Arianna studied her and saw tears behind the angry expression. “Look, maybe I spoke too harshly. I just feel like a child’s medical condition is private.”

“No, you’re right, I’m a terrible babysitter.” She sighed and held out a hand toward Sammy, who looked at her and then turned back to the chimes. “I talk too much, don’t I, sugar? And you don’t talk at all.”

The other woman finished nursing her baby, packed up and hurried away with her little one.

“I shouldn’t have said anything, maybe,” Arianna said to Sammy’s babysitter. “I just... Well, I was thinking, it’s not other people’s business what condition little Sammy has. Strangers, I mean. Like her.” She gestured toward the rapidly departing young mother.

“I suppose,” the woman said. “But honestly, I have to talk to someone. I can’t deal with all the things this child is going to need. Dr. Jack is lovely, but he brought up supervising therapists and having people come to the home to work with him each day... I didn’t sign up for that. I’m retired. We didn’t even have autism when I was growing up.”

Well, they’d had it, they just hadn’t diagnosed it, but whatever. “I’m sure it can all be worked out. Jack and Sammy really need the help.”

“I’m overwhelmed,” the woman admitted. “I’m also a grandma, and I’m not sure whether my grandkids should be around him. Oh, not that he’ll hurt them or anything, but they might be too rough or tease him. It’s just all so complicated.”

“I’m sure Jack will help,” she said soothingly, watching Sammy. Did he really act autistic? Was he banging for an unusually long time on those chimes?

Maybe he was exhibiting musical talent. How could you even tell the difference?

Just then Sammy saw them watching and toddled over, arms extended toward Arianna.

“See, and he never comes to me. And he doesn’t speak. He’s a difficult child to work with.”

Arianna picked Sammy up and held him loosely against her. “Do you have one of his toys?”

The woman fumbled through her bag, but she was obviously more intent on venting her feelings as she absentmindedly handed Arianna a cloth block that jingled when shaken. “I don’t think he likes me,” she said.

“He might just not be very expressive,” Arianna said, feeling defensive for Sammy. “Kids with autism don’t always smile a lot.” How had this turned into a coaching session for a woman more than twice her age?

And what if the coaching didn’t work and the woman decided to quit?

“To think, I’m sitting here in the park and getting in trouble for a chat I have with an acquaintance.” The woman waved off in the direction of the woman who’d left with her baby. “You know what? I’ve had enough. You’re his aunt, you say?”

Arianna nodded. She was getting a very bad feeling.

“He obviously knows and likes you. Better than he likes me.” The woman stood and plunked the diaper bag into Arianna’s lap. “Here,” she said. “You take care of him. His father will be here in half an hour. Tell him he can mail me my last paycheck.”

“But...but...”

It was no use. The woman left, and there was Arianna, literally left holding the bag.

The bag, and her secret son.




Chapter Three (#ua2df74c1-3254-5bf4-9655-a59c3e7e5894)


Jack’s last Saturday appointment was with a longtime patient: Mr. McCrady’s Irish setter, Cider. He ran his fingers over the dog’s hunched haunches and manipulated her legs, noticing when the stoic creature gave a little flinch. “Her arthritis is bothering her more?”

“Hers and mine, both.” Mr. McCrady’s forehead wrinkled as he stroked his dog’s ears. “She has trouble getting out of her bed some mornings. Can we get her on pain meds?”

“Absolutely.” Jack finished the exam and then scratched Cider’s chest, glad to note that her plume of a tail wagged. “There are risks to her kidneys that come with that type of medication, so we’ll want to keep up with her bloodwork. But I think she’s earned some pain relief.”

“That she has,” Mr. McCrady said. “She’s been my best friend since my wife died. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

The dog panted, seeming to smile up at her owner. Her white face and warm brown eyes communicated pure, uncomplicated love. Jack had really come to appreciate senior dogs since he’d been working at Redemption Ranch.

He got Mr. McCrady and Cider set with a prescription and an appointment for a follow-up visit and then stepped into his office to check messages.

He skimmed past seven he could handle later, and then his fingers froze.

Why was Arianna messaging him?

Problem with your sitter. I have Sammy and he’s fine. Come to my aunt’s house, 30 Maple Ave. ASAP

A problem with his sitter? He scrolled on through but didn’t see a message from Mrs. Jennings.

“Gotta run,” he said to his receptionist, who was gathering up her things. “There’s an issue with Sammy. Can you and Thomas close up?”

“Sure thing, Doc. Hope everything’s okay.”

Jack drove the four blocks to Maple Avenue without his usual pauses to enjoy the town’s Saturday bustle and then hurried up the front sidewalk to Arianna’s aunt’s house. He’d been here a couple of times in the early days of his marriage, but Chloe hadn’t gotten along with her aunt and uncle—hadn’t gotten along with a lot of people, including Arianna—so he didn’t know them well.

When he rang the doorbell, Arianna’s aunt Justine answered. “Hey, Dr. Jack, you sure you want to come into the craziness?”

“I got a message that my son’s here,” he said.

“In the kitchen.” She gestured behind her. “Come on in.”

Jack’s eyes widened at the stacks of magazines and newspapers that allowed only a narrow path through the hallway.

“I don’t want any more people in here!” came a bellow from the other end of the house.

“It’s just Dr. Jack,” Aunt Justine yelled back. “He’s here to get his baby.”

“Well, send him on his way.”

She gave Jack an apologetic shrug. “Go on in and see Arianna and Sammy. He—” she gestured in the direction from which her husband’s shout had come “—he’s embarrassed about how the house looks. I just have to calm him down.” Justine turned and hurried toward the back of the house.

Jack picked his way through the mess, his uneasiness growing.

When he got to the kitchen, his focus immediately went to Sammy. His son sat straight-legged on a clean blanket next to Arianna, who was talking at a computer screen.

Sammy held a wooden spoon and was tapping it against a plastic bowl with intense concentration.

“I have experience with teenagers, yes,” Arianna was saying to the screen. Her wild curls were pulled back into a neat bun, and her peach-colored shirt was more tailored and buttoned-up than what she usually wore.

She also had a streak of what looked like blueberry jam across her cheek that matched the streaks on Sammy’s shirt. Oops.

“I’m staying with relatives in Esperanza Springs right now,” she said, apparently in answer to an interview question. “But I’m able to relocate for the right job.”

She was doing a Skype interview and, for whatever reason, she was also taking care of his son.

And she was thinking about relocating? Jack’s chest tightened.

But he didn’t have time to wonder what that was about. “Come here, buddy,” he said quietly, holding out his hands to pick up Sammy. The steady banging noise his son was making couldn’t help Arianna’s cause.

Sammy noticed him for the first time and pumped his little arms. Jack’s heart lifted, and he swung Sammy up.

But not before Sammy’s flailing feet made a stack of plastic containers clatter to the ground. The noise startled Sammy, and he began to cry.

Jack glanced at Arianna in time to see her slight cringe. The person doing the interview, blurry on the screen, frowned.

“I can send you reference letters or give you phone numbers,” Arianna said over the din.

She turned up the sound and Jack heard the fatal words: “We’ll be in touch.”

He carried Sammy out of the room, waved to Justine, who stood at the end of a hallway arguing with her husband, and went out the front door. He started toward his truck, then paused. He needed to get Sammy home, but first, he’d better wait and find out from Arianna what was going on. And apologize for disrupting her job interview.

Putting Sammy down on his blanket, he showed him a smooth stick. True to form, Sammy found it fascinating and began to bang it on the ground.

It wasn’t three minutes before Arianna came out. “Hey,” she said when she saw him.

“How’d your job interview go?” he asked. “I’m sorry for all the noise.”

She shrugged. “What will be will be,” she said. “I was just hoping... It’s my only semilocal opportunity.” Her words were casual, but her eyes were upset. She was fingering her necklace, and Jack saw that it was a cross.

Yeah, he’d heard she’d come to the faith in a big way.

“So what happened with Sammy?”

She sighed. “It’s my fault.”

“What’s your fault?” Arianna meant well, but chaos followed her wherever she went. Chloe had always said as much.

“The sitter was talking about his autism in the park, where everyone could hear,” she said. “I sort of got upset and told her she shouldn’t share his diagnosis—which wasn’t my business, and I’m sorry—and she ended up dumping him and all his stuff on me.”

“She was talking about his diagnosis? At the park?”

“She didn’t mean any harm. I think she was just trying to figure out how to cope.”

That sounded like Mrs. Jennings.

Sammy looked up, and Jack sat down to be closer, rubbing his son’s back. How was he going to do right by Sammy? The child needed careful, consistent care, and he’d known for a while that Mrs. Jennings couldn’t fit the bill, even before they’d gotten the diagnosis. But now, his interviews with so-called serious sitters weren’t going any better. He’d even tried Skyping with a couple of women from out of state, but he’d not gotten a warm feeling from any of them.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he said. Right now, he felt like just a struggling dad and was glad to have a relative to vent to, someone who seemed to care about Sammy almost as much as he did.

She tilted her head to one side. “This could be a God thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need a job,” she said slowly. “And you need a nanny.”

He saw where she was going and let his eyes close. “Look, Arianna, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. But I just don’t think—”

“Don’t think, then,” she said.

“But I’m responsible for—”

“Don’t think—pray.” She stood smoothly, leaned down and ran a finger across Sammy’s shoulders—which he normally hated, but accepted from Arianna with just an upward glance—and then walked toward her car.

“Arianna...”

“Don’t answer now. Pray about it,” she called over her shoulder. “See you at church tomorrow.”

* * *

The next morning, Arianna thought about how much she loved art. One reason was the way it distracted you from your problems. It had distracted little Suzy Li from missing her mom, right here in the second-grade Sunday school class, and it had distracted Arianna from thinking about her own ridiculous offer to Jack DeMoise the day before.

“I’m sorry Suzy got a little paint on her shirt,” she said to Mrs. Li as Suzy tugged her mom’s hand, pulling her over to look at the picture she’d painted, now drying on a clothesline with the rest of the primary kids’ paintings.

“I’m just thrilled she made it through the whole class,” Mrs. Li said in between hugging Suzy and admiring her picture. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to stay for a whole church service. What a big girl you were, Suzy!”

“I missed you, Mommy.” Suzy wrapped her arms around her mother. “But Miss Arianna said I was brave.”

Mrs. Li smiled at Arianna. Thank you, she mouthed.

Arianna was glad she’d helped, but she felt a pang; she couldn’t deny it. It was fun and rewarding to get her kid fix through helping with Sunday school, but in the end, those precious little ones wanted their own mommies. In the end, Arianna went home alone.

Fortunately, there was no time to dwell on what she didn’t have. Sunny and Skye, the pastor’s twins, needed their hands washed before heading out with their mom, who introduced herself as Lily. “Don’t worry about it,” Lily said as Arianna tried to scrub off the paint that had inexplicably splattered both twins’ arms. “As long as they’re happy, it’s fine.”

“That’s what I said.” Kayla, the main teacher of the primary-age kids and the mother of one of them, Leo, came over, and she and Lily hugged. “Kids are supposed to get messy and have fun.”

Yeah, they were right about kids, Arianna thought, but what about her? When was she going to grow up and stop getting messy? She wet a paper towel and used it to wipe the biggest smudge from her cheek. The green streak in her hair was probably there to stay, at least until she could get back to her temporary home and shower.

“Hey, Dr. D,” Kayla said and went to the door to greet Jack, who was leaning in with Sammy parked on his hip. Arianna sucked in a breath. He was good-looking to begin with, but when he smiled, he was breathtaking.

Finn Gallagher, Kayla’s husband, showed up and sidled past Jack into the classroom. He reached out to Kayla and gently rubbed her shoulders, his eyes crinkling. She smiled up at him, love and happiness written all over her face.

Arianna’s chest tugged. What would it be like to have someone touch you as if you were infinitely precious? Someone with whom to share your deepest thoughts, your hopes and dreams, your secrets?

But she couldn’t tell anyone her deepest secrets, not and have them look at her the way Finn looked at Kayla. An out-of-wedlock pregnancy wasn’t that uncommon, and there were plenty of people who took it in stride, raised the child and got on with their lives. Arianna wished she was that person, but she wasn’t. Not given her family and the way she was raised.

As a result, she’d given away her child...and lied about it.

Jack was still standing at the half door. “Are you coming to the church lunch?” he asked her abruptly.

She hesitated. The church had a lunch after services every Sunday, for members and anyone in the community who needed a free meal or fellowship. She should go, since she was trying to make some kind of a life here. “Um, I guess.”

“Good. I’ll see you there.” And he was off.

What did that mean? That he wanted to see her, have lunch with her, hang out, accept her offer of helping with Sammy? Or that he wanted to let her down easy?

She blew out a sigh as she wiped down the tables where the kids had been painting. Thanks to an abundance of newspapers, cleanup wasn’t that difficult, but she found herself lingering, carefully putting things away in a most uncharacteristic way.

She knew why she was stalling: she didn’t want to go to the lunch and face Jack. Not after she’d made such a ridiculous offer.

Why had she suggested—again—that she could serve as Sammy’s nanny when Jack clearly didn’t want her to? Had she turned into one of those desperate women who couldn’t take no for an answer?

Jack was kind and he would be nice about it, but rejection was rejection. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

But, oh, for the chance to take care of her son, even briefly! To get to know him, to help him, to watch him grow.

No, said the stern voice in her head. She didn’t deserve it, and it wasn’t for her.

She was tempted to just skip the lunch and go home, avoiding Jack altogether, except she didn’t have a home, not really. Aunt Justine and Uncle Steve had been kind to take her in, and hospitable, but trying to make space for another person in their crowded home was putting a strain on their relationship. She could see it. The more hours she could stay away the better.

Which pointed to her other problem: she needed to make new living arrangements. It was just that she didn’t know whether to make them here or somewhere else.

Meanwhile, she’d get her aunt and uncle take-out meals from the church lunch, she decided. It was so hard to cook anything in their kitchen, piled high with appliance boxes and recycling and newspapers. It wasn’t much, but a good meal from the church would be a small token of her gratitude to them.

Penny caught up with her and walked alongside. “You doing okay? You look a little blue.”

She couldn’t tell Penny the big reason, of course. “Just thinking about my living situation,” she said as they walked into the fellowship hall, where the meal was already being served. “I’m wearing out my welcome at my aunt and uncle’s place, but I’m on a tight budget until I find more work.”

“Hmm, that’s tough.” And then Penny snapped her fingers and stared at her. “You know what? The pastor was right. With God all things are possible.”

“Oh, I know that’s true—”

Penny interrupted her. “No, seriously. I just got a brainstorm.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve got a mother-in-law apartment upstairs at my house on the ranch, and I’ve been meaning to clean it out and fix it up forever. You’re energetic and artsy. How would you like to stay there for the next few weeks? Rent-free, if you’ll clean it and fix it up nice, so I can rent it out at the end of the summer.”

Arianna’s jaw dropped. “That would be so perfect!”

And then the other ramifications of Penny’s offer rushed into her mind.

She could live so close to Sammy. Across the lawn, basically.

But how would Jack feel about that? Would she appear to be stalking him?

Penny was studying her face and no doubt saw her mixed feelings. “You think about it,” she said. “There’s no need to decide today.”

“Thank you.” Arianna gripped Penny’s hand, her eyes filling with tears. “That’s such a kind, kind offer. I just...have to figure a few things out, but I’m incredibly grateful to you for suggesting it.”

“I’d be getting as much out of it as you are,” Penny said. “Now, you’d better go grab a bite to eat while they’re still serving.”

Arianna did just that, accepting a generous portion of enchiladas, rice and beans. She sat down next to an older woman who introduced herself as Florence, and they chatted a little while Arianna ate.

The fellowship hall was just a big tile-floored room with a stage at one end and a kitchen at the other. Long tables covered with cheerful red-checked tablecloths and lined by metal folding chairs filled one half of the room. Only about half the seats were full now; Arianna had lingered in the kids’ room long enough that people were finishing up and heading home.

All of a sudden, Florence’s eyes sharpened. “Would you look at that,” she said, nodding toward a woman who was settling her two children at the other end of the table. “Pregnant with kid number three and not a husband in sight.”

Arianna registered the disapproval and was aware that she would have faced the same if she’d kept Sammy. But she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the woman, smiling and tickling her toddler while a slightly older child clung to her leg.

It would have been so wonderful to keep Sammy. And while she knew there had been many blessings in his adoption placement—not least his responsible, loving father, who was seated with Sammy at the far end of the room, where it was quieter—she couldn’t help but wish she’d found a way to keep her baby, to raise him herself.

Then she wouldn’t be caught in this web of lies, trying to decide whether it would be possible to live next door to her son without revealing her true relationship to him.

She barely realized she was staring dreamily into space until Florence waved a hand in front of her face. “I think Dr. Jack is trying to get your attention,” she said, her eyes alight with curiosity. “You’d better go talk to him.”

Arianna snapped to awareness, looked in Jack’s direction and saw that he was indeed beckoning to her.

Quickly, she finished her last bites of rice and beans. “It was nice talking to you,” she said to her extremely observant neighbor. She took both their dishes to the washing area and then headed over to Jack, mixed gladness and dread in her heart.

Any day she could see Sammy was a good day. But she was pretty sure Jack was about to turn down her nanny offer. And then she’d have to tell Penny she couldn’t take the apartment, and leave.

The thought of being away from her son after spending precious time with him made her chest ache, and she blinked away unexpected tears as she approached Jack and Sammy.

Sammy didn’t look up at her. He was holding up one finger near his own face, moving it back and forth.

Jack caught his hand. “Say hi, Sammy! Here’s Aunt Arianna.”

Sammy tugged his hands away and continued to move his finger in front of his face.

“Sammy, come on.”

Sammy turned slightly away from his father and refocused on his fingers.

“It’s okay,” Arianna said, because she could see the beginnings of a meltdown. “He doesn’t need to greet me. What’s up?”

“Look,” he said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable.

Sammy’s hands moved faster, and he started humming a wordless tune. It was almost as if he could sense the tension between Arianna and Jack.

“It’s okay, Jack,” she said. “I get it. My being your nanny was a crazy idea.” Crazy, but oh, so appealing. She ached to pick Sammy up and hold him, to know that she could spend more time with him, help him learn, get him support for his special needs.

But it wasn’t her right.

“Actually,” he said, “that’s what I wanted to talk about. It does seem sort of crazy, but...I think I’d like to offer you the job.”

She stared at him, her eyes filling. “Oh, Jack,” she said, her voice coming out in a whisper. Had he really just said she could have the job?

Behind her, the rumble and snap of tables being folded and chairs being stacked, the cheerful conversation of parishioners and community people, faded to an indistinguishable murmur.

She was going to be able to be with her son. Every day. She reached out and stroked Sammy’s soft hair, and even though he ignored her touch, her heart nearly melted with the joy of being close to him.

Jack’s brow wrinkled. “On a trial basis,” he said. “Just for the rest of the summer, say.”

Of course. She pulled her hand away from Sammy and drew in a deep breath. She needed to calm down and take things one step at a time. Yes, leaving him at the end of the summer would break her heart ten times more. But even a few weeks with her son was more time than she deserved.

“Would you like to go get a cup of coffee?” he asked. “Nail down the details? I think Penny would be willing to take Sammy for an hour or two.”

Arianna found her voice. “That’s okay,” she said, trying not to sound as breathless as she felt. “We can just talk it over at your house. Or here. Wherever.”

He frowned and cleared his throat. “I’d like to be a little more formal and organized about it,” he said as he started to collect Sammy’s things into his utilitarian gray diaper bag. “Draw up a contract, that sort of thing. We need to hammer out the terms.”

Hammer out the terms. What were the right terms for an aunt to become nanny to her secret son? “Okay, sure, I guess.”

“Meet you at the coffee shop in half an hour?”

“Sure.” Dazed, she turned and headed out to her car.

With God all things are possible. The pastor had said it, and she’d just witnessed its truth. She was being given a job, taking care of her son and had a place to live.

It was a blessing, a huge one. But it came at a cost: she was going to need to conceal the truth from Jack on a daily basis. And given the way her heart was jumping around in her chest, she wondered if she was going to be able to survive this much of God’s blessing.




Chapter Four (#ua2df74c1-3254-5bf4-9655-a59c3e7e5894)


Jack walked into the coffee shop half an hour later, still in his business-casual church clothes, briefcase in hand. He had a sample contract on a clipboard, a tablet to take notes, his calendar on his phone.

Having all his supplies made him feel slightly more in charge of a situation that seemed to be spiraling out of control.

He felt uneasy and uncomfortable and wrong every time he thought about hiring Arianna as a nanny, even temporarily. Partly, it was what he knew about her being disorganized and messy. More than that was the fact that Chloe had had real issues with her sister and would never have approved of her taking care of Sammy.

And even more than all that, he just felt strangely uncomfortable with his former sister-in-law.

When he thought about Sammy, though, he knew what he had to do, what was right. Sammy liked Arianna, and she was good with him. And they needed to start his treatment now, not when the perfect nanny showed up in six months or a year.

Inside the shop, the deep, rich fragrance of good coffee soothed him. He waved to a few patrons and headed for the counter. He’d order before Arianna got here, get her some coffee, too.

“Jack!” came a sunny voice from the other side of the shop.

He looked up and saw a mass of coppery curls, then Arianna’s wide smile. His muscles tightened, and he felt a strong urge to back out the door. Stronger was the urge to go toward her, even though it felt like he just might be headed for disaster.

She gestured him over, holding up a drink. “I already got you something!” she called over the buzz of the small crowd.

As Jack turned and walked toward her, he was aware of several people watching. Arianna wasn’t quiet.

And she’d gotten him one of those expensive whipped-cream-topped iced coffee drinks he didn’t even like.

“Thanks,” he said as he reached the table and sat down. “You didn’t have to do that. How much was it?” He got out his wallet.

“It’s on me,” she said. “You’ve got to try this. I had one the other day and it’s so good! It’s a mocha java supreme. Of course, I shouldn’t have it, it’s full of calories, but you certainly don’t need to worry about calories.”

“Thanks.” He sat down, feeling concerned, and studied her. She was talking fast, even for Arianna. She was stressed out, too, he realized, as much as or more than he was.

Compassion washed over him then. Arianna was living in that hoarder house with her aunt and uncle and probably very low on cash. She needed this job, and his own worries paled.

He got out his clipboard and notes. “Before we start going through this,” he said, “are you sure you’re interested in the job? It’ll be more responsibility than most nanny jobs, because you’d be supervising some of his therapists and doing the exercises they suggest. You’d have days off, of course, but you wouldn’t be able to pursue a full-time art therapy position.”

“I’m sure,” she said, her eyes shining.

He got tangled up in that gaze for a few seconds, then looked away and cleared his throat. “Okay, then. Most of the sample contracts I looked at—” he pulled out the one he’d printed to show her “—have clauses about what will happen if either party decides to back out early. And we need to nail down an equitable schedule so you don’t get burned-out.” He drew a breath to continue.

She put a hand over his. “Jack. I trust you. Whatever you think is best.”

Her hand on his felt soft and delicate and warm.

He straightened and pulled his hand away. “I can draft a schedule if that would work for you. Then we can go over it and finalize the details. Now, let’s talk about pay.”

“I’d do it for free,” she said promptly.

“Arianna!” Jack shook his head, frowning at her. “You should never say that to a potential employer.”

“You’re not just that, you’re my former brother-in-law. And Sammy is my nephew. Jack, we don’t have to hash out every single detail, nor get everything down in writing. We can make it happen with a handshake.”

He pointed his mechanical pencil at her. “You’re way too trusting. People will take advantage of you.”

To his surprise, she nodded. “It’s happened before,” she said. “But should I let that change me into a suspicious person?”

He really wanted to know who’d taken advantage of her, because he wanted to strangle that person. Some guy, most likely. “Not a suspicious person,” he said, “but maybe a cautious one.”

“You’re probably right,” she said with a shrug. “But for now...I’m super excited to be working with Sammy. I know I can help him.”

Jack had to admit that her attitude was enormously appealing. If a stranger he was interviewing had acted so enthusiastically, he’d have hired her immediately. Well, after checking her résumé and background, of course. Unlike Arianna, he wasn’t impulsive.

And there were a lot of details to straighten out. “Now, as far as where you’ll stay,” he said. “I have plenty of room in the house, but I’m afraid that would raise a few eyebrows. I wouldn’t want your reputation to suffer.”

“Or yours,” she said, sipping her drink. “But actually, I’ve got it covered. Penny offered me the use of her upstairs apartment if I’ll clean it out and decorate it so she can rent it in the fall.”

“That’s perfect.” Another thing that was working out better than he expected. Not what he was used to. He often expected the worst.

He plowed on through his list of things to discuss. “How do you feel about organizing the TSS schedule? Is that something you can handle?”

A smile quirked the corner of her mouth. “I can be organized, Jack,” she said with exaggerated patience. “I’m just not when it doesn’t matter.”

It’s important to sweat the small stuff, he heard in his mind. Chloe’s voice. The same as his mother’s and father’s. Chloe had gotten along so well with them, partly because she’d tried so hard to do everything right.

Guilt suffused him. Chloe hadn’t trusted Arianna and wouldn’t think that hiring her was doing things right. She’d never sanction this arrangement.

Arianna fumbled in her oversize bag and brought out a tablet computer. “I can print this out for you later, if you want,” she said. “It’s my résumé.” She enlarged it so he could see. “I’ve taken two classes focused on kids with special needs. They were a little older than Sammy, but the principles are the same.” She scrolled to another section. “And I did an internship in an early-childhood program. I love babies.” For just a moment, her eyes went wistful.

Jack studied those eyes as questions he’d never thought to ask before pressed into his awareness. Had Arianna wanted to have kids? Did she ever think about it? Was there a boyfriend in the picture?

Around them, the buzz of conversation indicated that the coffee shop was getting crowded. But Jack couldn’t seem to look away from Arianna.

She didn’t seem nearly so affected. “This section is my coursework,” she continued on, scrolling down the tablet’s screen and highlighting a section to show him. “We did a lot of psychology, life-span development, counseling work. Here, take a look.” She handed him the tablet.

He scanned it quickly, then read more closely, impressed. “You have so much coursework in special education.”

She laughed, a sunny, lilting sound. “Don’t look so shocked, Jack. It’s part of most art and music therapy programs.”

He met her eyes over the tablet and couldn’t avoid smiling, almost as big as she did. “There’s a lot more to you than meets the eye, isn’t there?”

“You haven’t scratched the surface.” Was there a tiny bit of flirtation in her tone, in her expression as she looked at him over the rim of her cup?

He took a long pull on his own drink, sucking up frothy sweetness. “You know,” he said, “these are actually good.”

Again, their gazes tangled.

“Son!” The deep voice penetrated his awareness at the same time a familiar, beefy hand gripped his shoulder.

He glanced up as the usual tension squeezed his chest. He knew exactly what his father was thinking. “Hi, Dad. Do you remember—”

“Arianna Shrader. How could I forget.” His father didn’t extend his hand for shaking and neither did she, instead inclining her head slightly, as if she were a queen and he, a lowly peasant.

The attitude wasn’t lost on Dad, Jack could see. But looking at Arianna, he could tell his father’s attitude wasn’t lost on her, either.

“What brings about this meeting?” Disapproval dripped from his father’s voice.

“I’m going to be working for Jack,” Arianna said. “Taking care of Sammy for a while.”

“You’re what?” Dad’s voice squeaked, and his face reddened. He looked at Jack as if he’d just committed a federal crime. “Was this your idea?”

“It was my idea,” Arianna interjected before Jack could open his mouth. “It made sense, given my background and Jack’s needs. Is there a problem?”

“Sure seems like a problem to me, you moving in with your sister’s husband.”

Arianna gasped.

At the same moment, Jack stood and stepped forward so that he was in between his father and Arianna. “Arianna is Sammy’s aunt,” he said, “and there’s nothing inappropriate about her caring for him.”

“Perceptions mean a lot,” Dad said, but his voice was quieter. He stepped sideways to look at Arianna. “It’s your reputation that would suffer the most. This is a small town.”

“I won’t be living in.” Arianna’s normally expressive eyes were cool and flat. “Your son’s virtue is safe with me.”

His father’s face went almost purple, his mouth opening and closing like a dying fish.

“It’s under control, Dad.” Jack put a hand on his father’s arm. “Nothing to worry about.”

Dad looked at their half-empty cups, pursed his lips and shook his head. “I hope so,” he said abruptly and walked away, weaving through the coffee shop’s small tables.

“I’m sorry for that,” Jack said. “Dad can be a little...”

“Judgmental? I’m familiar,” Arianna said, and suddenly, Jack wondered what kinds of things his father had said to her on the few occasions they’d all gotten together.

Certainly, the buoyancy had gone out of her face and voice, and he continued to think about that as they agreed on a few last details and a start date—tomorrow.

But as he walked her to her car, Jack couldn’t forget what his father had said. Perceptions were important. At least a few people in their small town might start to link their names together.

Chloe would have felt that as the ultimate disrespect. If that wretched blood clot hadn’t already killed her, this would have.

Was he making a huge mistake hiring Arianna?

* * *

“The place is kind of a mess,” Penny warned Arianna that evening as they climbed the outside steps to Arianna’s new apartment. “It’s been a rough year.”

Arianna had heard bits and pieces of Penny’s story: how she and her husband had bought the ranch with high hopes. How they’d worked together—she with enthusiasm for the mission, he with enthusiasm for their pretty young office assistant. How he’d left Penny high and dry, and absconded with the funds and the assistant.

Penny was so kind and so beautiful, Arianna couldn’t imagine how anyone could do that to her.

But then again, men could quickly tire of a woman when there were responsibilities involved, or when they found a new obsession. She’d learned that the hard way from Sammy’s father.

Penny threw open the door at the top of the steps, then put a hand on Arianna’s arm, stopping her. “You’d be doing me a favor if you’d move in and fix it up, but it’ll be a lot of work. You be honest, now. If it’s too much for you, say no. I’ll understand.”

Little did Penny realize how few options Arianna actually had. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” she assured the older woman. “I love a good project.” Not least because it would keep her busy and push her worries away.

“Just take a look before you say anything,” Penny said and held the door for Arianna to walk through.

Inside, hard-back chairs stood at odd angles amid boxes, a big cooler and a bike that had to date from the 1980s. The place smelled musty, and through the giant dirty window, sunbeams illuminated the dust motes that danced in the air.

Arianna looked past the surface, something she’d always loved to do. The place had great bones and amazing potential. She clasped her hands together. “This is perfect!”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No! That slanted wood ceiling is gorgeous. I love a nonboxy space. And the view from the windows... It’ll look out on mountains, right?”

“The Sangre de Cristos, once it’s clean. You can barely see them through that coating of dirt and dust.” Penny picked up a photo album covered in white lace. She grimaced at the happy couple on the cover and then dropped the album into the trash.

Arianna lifted an eyebrow but didn’t comment. Not her business.

She looked around, scoping out the space. “I’d put the bed there,” she said, gesturing to a space directly across from the big window. “Wall hangings should be big, with these tall ceilings. A sitting area over here.” As she spoke, the place came to life in her imagination. “It’s so much more than I expected in a place to live.”

Penny put her hands on her hips and stared at her. “Now, why would you say that? Where were you living before, that this place seems so fabulous?”

Arianna flushed. “Oh, just here and there.” No need to tell Penny about how unsettled the past couple of years had been, and how she hadn’t been able to commit to anything since giving up her son. “Two days ago I was out of a job and practically out of a home, and now I have both.” She bit her lip and shot up a prayer of thanks. “God’s so good.”

Even as she spoke, worry crept in. Penny was wise and saw a lot. Would she guess the truth about Sammy? Would Jack?

They worked together hauling boxes down the stairs and throwing them into the ranch foreman’s truck. “Finn said once it’s full, he’ll drive it over to the dump,” Penny said.

“Just look at the floor,” Arianna commented once a big square of it was cleared. “With a bright rug and a polish, these plank floors will come to life.”

“You’re so positive,” Penny said. “You’re going to be good for Jack.” She hesitated, then added, “In a way your sister wasn’t.”

“Oh!” Color rose in Arianna’s face. “It’s not the same at all. I’m just the temporary nanny.” Jack had made that very clear. He’d sent her a text after their conversation just to confirm that she understood that.

Penny didn’t seem to have heard her. “His parents were so rigid. His mom’s passed, rest her soul, but his dad seems to have gotten even more... What? Judgmental? Tense? Your sister had some of those same qualities.” Penny smiled at her. “It strikes me that you don’t.”

Yes, true, to her detriment. She’d been the one to get pregnant without being married and disgrace the family. While poor Chloe, always such a perfectionist—and so perfect—hadn’t been able to have the one thing that meant everything to her: a baby.

“Anyone home?” came a call from downstairs.

“We’re up here, Willie.” Penny brushed the back of her hand over her sweaty forehead and gestured toward a door Arianna hadn’t seen before. “This is where the downstairs connects. You can lock the door for privacy or come down to use the laundry machines whenever you want.”

A short, rotund but muscular man with a long gray ponytail huffed up the steps. “There you are,” he said, sweeping off his Vietnam veterans hat. He gave Arianna a quick nod, but his eyes were fixed on Penny. “Can I offer you lovely ladies some help? Before I offer to take you to lunch?” he added to Penny.

Color rose in Penny’s cheeks. “Willie, have you met Arianna? She’s going to be living here and working as a nanny for Jack.”

Willie smiled at her, his face breaking into a million creases. “I’m pleased to meet you,” he said. “That Jack works hard. He could use some help.” He turned back toward Penny. “Now, what about that lunch?”

Penny gestured at her dusty work clothes. “Look at me. I can’t possibly go out. And we wouldn’t ask you to do our grunt work.”

“I was a grunt in the service,” Willie said with a wink at Arianna. “The company’s a lot better here.”

“No, thanks, Willie,” Penny said. “Another time.”

“Maybe tomorrow night?” he asked. “I’ve got a gift card for the Cold Creek Inn. You could wear that red dress you have.”

Penny’s cheeks went pink. “I... We’ll see,” she said and turned back to the box she’d been sorting through.

“Talk her into it, will you?” he asked Arianna. “You know where to find me,” he added to Penny and then descended the stairs.

“Looks like you have an admirer,” Arianna said, waggling her eyebrows at Penny.

“Oh, he’s just lonely because his friend Long John is off on his honeymoon,” Penny said. “Those two have been best friends forever and lived next door in the ranch cabins until just recently. Long John married a woman from town, Beatrice Patton, just as soon as her chemo treatments ended. I think they kind of bonded over their health issues, since Long John has Parkinson’s.”

“Wow.” The older woman’s matter-of-fact words put Arianna’s own problems into perspective.

“Anyway,” Penny continued, “Long John getting married and moving down to town is an adjustment for Willie.”

“I don’t know if the invitation is all about missing his friend,” Arianna teased. “I doubt he’d want Long John to wear a red dress to lunch.”

“Oh, stop it!” Penny said, laughing a little. “Willie’s a nice man, but...”

“He’s older than you are. By kind of a lot.”

“It’s not that. It’s that I’m not ready.” Penny sighed. “Truth is, when my husband left me, he took that part of me that used to trust people. Or trust men anyway.”

“I can understand that.” Arianna hadn’t dated anyone since Sammy’s father for that very reason. But while her own loneliness felt well deserved, Penny’s made her sad. “Sounds like he just wants to take you to dinner. Maybe you should go.”

“I don’t want him to spend his gift card on me. He’d think it means more than it does, and I don’t want to hurt anyone, but especially someone who lives on the ranch. We have to be able to coexist.”

Coexist. That was what she and Jack had to learn to do, too. But it was hard to look at it so impersonally when there was a child involved.

His child. Her child.

The sound of footsteps trotting up the steps interrupted their conversation. There was a tap on the door, and Jack’s face appeared in the glass. “Need any help?” he asked.

Yes, Arianna wanted to say. Can you help me make my heart stop pounding?

“Absolutely,” Penny said. “We have a bunch of boxes that need to be moved down to Finn’s truck. You look like just the man for the job.”

“It’s good to be needed,” Jack said. “Sammy’s TSS kicked me out. She said I was hovering.”

“Is Sammy okay being alone with her?” Arianna stood and looked out the window toward Jack’s house.

“For now, yes,” he said. “She has me on speed dial, and I’m to stay within shouting distance. She and Sammy were doing work with his vocalizing and I was distracting him, apparently.”

“Do they know what caused his autism?” The question seemed to burst out of her. She hadn’t even known she was wondering that. But she must’ve spoken intensely, because the other two stared at her.




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