Hometown Christmas Gift
Hometown Christmas Gift
Kat Brookes
A second chance for a first love. Her little family needs healing… Could he be the answer to her Christmas wish? Home for the holidays, widow Lainie Dawson never would have thought to ask old love Jackson Wade to help her troubled child. But when her grieving son forms a bond with the handsome rancher, ignoring Jackson goes from challenging to impossible. He let his first love go once before, but this Christmas, he’ll hold on to Lainie with all his heart.
A second chance for a first love.
Her little family needs healing...
Could he be the answer to her Christmas wish?
Home for the holidays, widow Lainie Michaels never would have thought to ask old love Jackson Wade to help her troubled child. But when her still-grieving son forms a bond with the handsome rancher, ignoring Jackson goes from challenging to impossible. Jackson let his first love go once before, but this Christmas, he’ll hold on to Lainie with all his heart.
Bent Creek Blessings
KAT BROOKES is an award-winning author and past Romance Writers of America Golden Heart® Award finalist. She is married to her childhood sweetheart and has been blessed with two beautiful daughters. She loves writing stories that can both make you smile and touch your heart. Kat is represented by Michelle Grajkowski with 3 Seas Literary Agency. Read more about Kat and her upcoming releases at katbrookes.com (http://www.katbrookes.com). Email her at katbrookes@comcast.net. Facebook: Kat Brookes (https://www.facebook.com/kat.brookes.5).
Also By Kat Brookes (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
Bent Creek Blessings
The Cowboy’s Little Girl
The Rancher’s Baby Surprise
Hometown Christmas Gift
Texas Sweethearts
Her Texas Hero
His Holiday Matchmaker
Their Second Chance Love
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).
Hometown Christmas Gift
Kat Brookes
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-09924-0
HOMETOWN CHRISTMAS GIFT
© 2019 Kimberly Duffy
Published in Great Britain 2019
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Note to Readers (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
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“Do you think we could do this again sometime?”
“Hmm...I’ll have to think that one over a bit,” Jackson said, pretending to contemplate her question. “Getting you back behind the wheel would mean I would no longer be needed to take you and Lucas here and there. I’m not so sure I’m ready to give that up.”
“I would think you would be relieved,” she told him with a smile.
“You’d be wrong.”
Her smile softened with his admission. “I’m realistic if anything. I know I have a long way to go before I’m going to be comfortable behind the wheel, but I want my independence back. Want to be the kind of mother Lucas deserves.”
His expression softened even more. “Your son is already blessed to have you for his mother, whether you drive or not. He’s just too young to really appreciate what he has, but that will come. Right now, he’s still working through a lot of pain and grief.”
Reaching over, she covered his hand with hers, giving it a squeeze. “I’ve missed you, Jackson Wade.”
Dear Reader (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262),
I really hope you’ve had a chance to read the first two books in my Bent Creek Blessings series—The Cowboy’s Little Girl and The Rancher’s Baby Surprise. Hometown Christmas Gift is the third and final book in this Love Inspired series, giving the last of the Wade brothers, Jackson, his very own happily-ever-after. It’s a story of healing and second chances for both my hero, Jackson, and Lainie, his first love. It’s about turning to one’s faith to help carry us through the hard times and knowing that God has a plan for us all. It’s also discovering that not all Christmas gifts are ones you can hold in your hand, like the gift of forgiveness, the gift of hope and the gift of happiness. Things that both Lainie and Jackson gift each other with in Hometown Christmas Gift. I hope you enjoy reading their story as much as I enjoyed writing it. For updates on my upcoming releases, you can go to my website at www.lindseybrookes.com (http://www.lindseybrookes.com) or follow Kat Brookes on Facebook. The link to my homepage is https://www.facebook.com/kat.brookes.5 (https://www.facebook.com/kat.brookes.5).
Happy holidays!
Kat
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
—James 1:6
This book is dedicated to my cousin
Kathy Dillan and to my good friend
Melissa Huddleston. Two women very
near and dear to my heart. I’m so grateful
to have you both in my life.
Contents
Cover (#u9a855163-19ba-5221-8b13-139687d0d911)
Back Cover Text (#uebcd1a8d-f43b-5f69-991f-73ca93d6b3ad)
About the Author (#u3300f203-b064-5bbd-8ffb-2d964460ca06)
Booklist (#u2e7485f5-4c59-5b95-93a3-25a5f8ddbe19)
Title Page (#uedf124ef-fe25-5ff9-8e97-f93c8f0caec9)
Copyright (#u2a10e799-c616-58ab-b6ed-8e022305235d)
Note to Readers
Introduction (#u7e6d89a6-84e8-54ec-8f7b-b426844e52f8)
Dear Reader (#u93d32c88-4f0a-559b-9bd2-6a9a5b3fad4e)
Bible Verse (#ud42bc674-15c6-5655-a23b-80bf335d09c3)
Dedication (#u45ac6c60-fe3d-534d-972b-ada480121868)
Chapter One (#uda8e1488-6851-55cf-af48-84f67ebc0d60)
Chapter Two (#u594cbf25-2474-5a85-b0d0-306ee79c6825)
Chapter Three (#ubaaaa7ba-9abc-5d08-bab2-069fac1d40ec)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
Lainie Michaels lifted the snow-dusted doormat again, thinking she might have missed the house key her brother was supposed to have left there for her. Nothing. She tried the door again, but it was locked up good and tight. Straightening, she blew on her chilled fingers to warm them and then slipped her gloves back on. At least she’d had the forethought to purchase winter coats for her and her son before moving back to Wyoming.
“I don’t want to be here!” Lainie’s seven-year-old son, Lucas, bellowed behind her, stomping his tiny foot in defiance.
Lainie turned from the locked front door and forced a smile as she prepared to face yet another one of her son’s emotional thunderstorms. “Honey, you’ll like living here in Bent Creek.” At least, she prayed he would. More than anything, she wanted her son to be the sweet, loving little boy he used to be before she’d taken his joy away.
“It’s cold here. I wanna go home,” he replied, his tiny brows furrowed into a deep-set scowl.
Early December in Bent Creek could be cold. Especially when her son was accustomed to California winters, but it was a little soon for any real snow accumulation. Lainie’s gaze moved past Lucas to the large, white flakes coming down from the wintry sky above. Then again, maybe it wasn’t. Cold or not, while living in California, she’d missed the beauty Wyoming winters could bring, the sight of the distant mountains and vast land surrounding her brother’s place, the home she had grown up in, glistening with newly fallen snow. Especially during the holidays.
Looking down at her son, Lainie suddenly felt overwhelmed by emotion and exhausted from having gotten up before dawn that morning to catch their flight. And then, after a three-hour layover in Denver before finally landing in Rock Springs, Wyoming, the nearest airport to Bent Creek, they’d had to take a taxi to her brother’s place a good fifty-minutes away.
“We are home,” she told Lucas. Or, at least what would be their home until they found a place of their own in Bent Creek. Even if she changed her mind about staying there permanently, which she hadn’t, they would have no way to leave. The taxi that brought them there had already driven off. They’d sold their two-bedroom condo in downtown Sacramento, sent a few boxes of their personal items ahead to her brother, Justin, a week prior to flying home and then placed the remainder of their things in storage until they found a home of their own and could have them brought out.
“This isn’t my home,” her son said, his voice cracking with anger.
“It is now, sweetie,” Lainie said softly, praying that she’d made the right decision in coming there.
“You take everything away!” her son sobbed, tears of frustration and anger now filling his hazel eyes. “Even my dad. I hate you!” Turning, he sprinted off the porch and disappeared around the side of the house.
Lainie ran over to the railing and leaned out, watching as Lucas ran away from the house, no doubt to the fort his uncle had built for him two summers before. “Lucas!” she called after him, hot tears blurring her vision. It wasn’t the first time he had run off, and it wasn’t the first time her baby boy’s words had left her feeling broken. Her son hated her, and she couldn’t even blame him for it. He’d lost his father, and it was all her fault. A lump formed in Lainie’s throat as the memory of that night surfaced, making it hard to swallow. No amount of “I’m sorrys” could ever make up for the pain she had caused her little boy. She’d never forget the look of confusion on his face when she’d told him his father was gone, and then fear and bone-deep sorrow that slowly settled in as her son processed her words. It had nearly broken her. A mother’s words were supposed to wrap their child in love and make them feel safe, not shatter their entire world.
The sudden sound of hoofbeats had Lainie turning, a small gasp leaving her lips as she took in the sight of a man seated astride a beautiful buckskin gelding. He came to a stop just on the other side of the porch at the far end of Justin’s house. Although he wore his cowboy hat low and the collar of his leather duster lifted to block the icy, whirling flakes, she’d recognize those dark green eyes of his anywhere.
“Lainie,” Jackson Wade greeted her, his voice so much deeper than it had been when he’d spent time at her house when they were growing up. Jackson had always been her brother’s best friend and also her heart’s greatest weakness.
Her stomach felt as though she’d just taken a steep drop on a roller-coaster ride. The last time she’d seen Jackson had been in the hospital in Las Vegas after he’d been injured while bull riding at Nationals. Only Jackson hadn’t known she’d been there, because she’d not been able to step beyond the open door. Just seeing him lying there, eyes closed, machines surrounding him, had been more than she could take. Especially since she blamed herself for his being there. Had lived with the self-imposed guilt of it for years. Oh, why did their paths have to cross at that very moment?
Lainie turned away, looking off into the direction her son had run, trying desperately to collect herself. “Justin’s not home,” she said as she hurried to swipe a poorly timed tear from her cheek with her gloved hand. Jackson Wade was the last person she wanted to see her in such an emotionally vulnerable state. In fact, she’d prefer not to cross paths with him altogether, now or ever. Unfortunately, “ever” wasn’t in the realm of possibility, considering they were both going to be living in the same small town.
“I know,” he replied as the sound of booted footsteps treading up the porch steps came from a few feet behind her.
She cast a fretful glance back over her shoulder as he strode toward her, her attention drawn to his slightly off-kilter gait. A limp she had caused, she thought to herself, guilt making her turn away once more. She couldn’t bear to see the man who had broken her heart. The man she had in turn broken physically.
A gentle hand came to rest on her shoulder. “Lainie,” he said, his voice filled with concern.
Jackson, she thought in silent response. Her first love. An unrequited love. But one her heart had never quite gotten over. Even after she had married Will Michaels, a kind, supportive man, the handsome cowboy standing behind her had still maintained a special place in her heart. One of the reasons she had done her best to come home to visit only when she knew Jackson would be away, running stock to the various rodeos. And then after her husband’s death not quite two years before, she had avoided Bent Creek altogether. For her son, who was not dealing well with his grief. She thought that she needed to keep his routine as unchanged and normal as possible. And, if she were being completely honest with herself, it was also because of the feelings she still harbored for Jackson. Feelings she should have been able to put to rest after she’d gotten together with Will, but her stubborn heart had refused to cooperate. Staying away from Bent Creek, away from Jackson, had been the only way she could think of to assuage the guilt she felt.
“Are you okay?”
No, she wasn’t. But it was no less than she deserved. She nodded. “I’m fine.” How much of her conversation, of her son’s resentful words, had Jackson overheard? She couldn’t bear the thought of anyone thinking badly of Lucas. “Just a little family disagreement.”
His large hand fell away, and she found herself wishing it back, needing the comfort that small gesture had provided her. “I’d be happy to have a talk with him if you think that would help matters,” he offered.
Lainie forced herself to turn and face him, but kept her gaze fixed on the front of Jackson’s shirt instead of on the pity she knew she would see in those eyes. When had his shoulders grown so incredibly wide? “Thank you,” she managed, “but no. I need to see to this on my own.” Just as she had been since her husband’s passing.
“Then can I at least help you go look for your son?”
“No,” she said a little more adamantly, shaking her head. She didn’t want Jackson’s help. It had been hard enough turning to her brother as it was. She was Lucas’s mother. She should have been the one to make things right again for her son. “I know where he’ll be.”
“In the fort?” he replied.
Of course Jackson would know about the small, wooden fort her brother had built for Lucas in the woods behind his house, just beyond the edge of the yard. He and Justin knew pretty much everything about each other. But then they were close. Had been since Justin’s first day of school in Bent Creek, after their parents had adopted him and Lainie and brought them to the small, welcoming town to live.
“Yes,” she said with a sigh. The counselor she had taken her son to not quite six months before had told Lainie that there would be times when Lucas would need time and space to grieve and sort through his feelings. She’d given him that, but it hadn’t seemed to make a difference. Her son’s resentment toward her was always simmering close to the surface.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Only if you’re a locksmith,” Lainie muttered.
He chuckled, his chin lifting just enough to free his face from the cocoon his collar had formed around it. The warm sound of it drew her gaze upward until it came to rest on his face, one that had grown even more handsome with age. His chestnut hair was close-cropped under his well-worn cowboy hat, and he wore just a hint of sideburns alongside his clean-shaven face. “It just so happens I can help you out,” he replied with that lone-dimpled grin she had never forgotten as he held up a small brass house key. “Justin called to tell me that he’d forgotten to leave a key under the doormat for guests he had coming to stay with him and asked if I could run the spare he’d given me over to the house.”
Guests? Had her brother avoided telling Jackson that she was the guest he was referring to? Was he unsure his friend would be comfortable with the given task if he knew the whole truth?
“Long-term guests,” Lainie supplied with a troubled frown. “Lucas and I are going to be living with my brother until we can find a place of our own.”
His eyes widened in surprise. “You’re moving home?”
“Moved,” she corrected. “As of today.”
He nodded as if struggling to find a response to the clearly unexpected news. Lainie found herself wondering if the kiss they’d shared all those years ago still lingered in the back of his thoughts as it did in hers. And not in the way a first kiss shared between two people should.
“It’s been hard on Lucas dealing with life in Sacramento since his father’s passing,” she tried to explain without going into detail.
“I can imagine it would be,” Jackson said. Then his expression grew serious. “I never got to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your loss.”
“You sent us a card and those beautiful wind chimes,” she said with a grateful smile.
A frown pulled at his mouth now. “I really am sorry. I should have done more.”
She shook her head. “You thought about us and that meant a lot.” She reached for the key he was still holding in his hand, feeling the chill of the metal through the fingertips of her glove. “Thank you for going to the trouble of running this over to us in this weather.” She glanced past him. “And by horse, at that.”
“I can still ride,” he muttered. “Just not competitively.”
The guilt that filled her at his reminder was almost painful. He’d loved the rodeo and she had taken that from him. “I just meant that you could have driven the key over,” she hurried to explain. “It’s cold out.”
He shrugged, his broad shoulders lifting and dropping beneath his leather coat. “Cold’s never bothered me. And it’s wasn’t any trouble running this over to you. And, Lainie...” he said, their gazes meeting.
“Yes,” she replied, unable to look away, and her heart skittered, just as it used to do when she was a lovesick teenager. That thought brought Lainie immediately back to reality. She was not that same girl. She was a widowed mother of a very lost child, and Jackson was no longer that same boy she had once known. He was a grown man with responsibilities, part of which revolved around the very thing that had kept them apart—the rodeo.
He smiled down at her. “Welcome home.”
“Thank you.” She glanced in the direction Lucas had run off in. “I should go see to my son.” She just prayed he’d had time to calm down enough for them to be able to talk. She hated watching her precious little boy slip so far away from her emotionally. Hopefully, her brother would be able to help bring him back.
“If I can ever do anything...” He let the offer trail off.
“We’ll be fine,” she replied. “But thank you for offering.”
Jackson tipped his hat and then turned to leave.
Lainie watched him go, tears filling her eyes as she took in the change in the confident gait she remembered. That slight hitch to his step made her heart ache. Jackson could have died that day, and she would have had to live with that guilt for the rest of her life, just as she did with her husband’s death.
You take away everything! Even my dad. I hate you! Jackson flinched at the memory of those harshly spoken words. Words that had to have broken Lainie’s heart. Will had died in a car accident. Why would her son blame Lainie for that?
Lainie, he thought to himself as he parked his truck in front of the sheriff’s office, regret filling him. The girl he had cared so much about. The girl whose heart he’d broken. If he had the chance to do it all over again, would he have gone about things differently? He’d asked himself that question more times than he could count over the years, but he remained torn over the answer. Lainie had been his best friend’s little sister, which had made him keep his growing feelings for her to himself. It had seemed like a line he shouldn’t cross. But he had and kissing her at the town’s annual Old West Festival Dance that night had been both eye-opening and life changing.
Jackson stepped down from his truck, closed the door and headed for the nearby building. He let himself inside and made his way to Justin’s office. Shoving open the door, he stepped inside. “You might have told me,” he said, his words tight.
His friend, the town’s sheriff, glanced up from paperwork and then sat back in his chair. “Would you have gone over to my place if I had?” he asked matter-of-factly.
It bothered him that his friend had a point. If he had known that Lainie and her son were the “guests” Justin had been referring to when he’d called to ask his favor, he might very well have sent someone in his place to deliver the key. He hadn’t been prepared to see Lainie again. Had even prepared himself emotionally to never see her again. Truth was, he’d made his choice a long time ago and understood her reasons for making certain their paths never crossed. All he could do was respect her wishes. A part of him was grateful for her determined avoidance of him. It meant she hadn’t had to see him as he was now, after the accident, hobbling about instead of moving with the sure-footed grace he’d once had.
“Your silence speaks volumes,” Justin said, pushing away from his desk to stand. “But you need to get past whatever it was that happened between the two of you before Lainie went off to college, because Lainie’s going to be living here. You will be seeing her, like it or not.”
If only it were that simple. “Nothing happened,” Jackson replied with a frown. Only because he’d stopped it from going anywhere. When Lainie had kissed him that night after they’d stepped outside for some fresh air following a round of heel-kicking dances and then a long, slow dance, he’d been taken by surprise. He should have put an end to things right then and there, but he hadn’t. He’d kissed her back. And when the kiss ended, all the emotions she’d held back for so long spilled out of her. She loved him. Wanted to give up the full-ride academic scholarship she gotten to go to San Diego State University and stay in Bent Creek instead, so she could be with him. Lainie would have traded an opportunity very few were ever blessed with to be his girl. And someday, he knew, she would have resented him for it.
“All I know is that Lainie thought the world revolved around you. To the point I thought that maybe someday...” Justin shook his head. “And then she began dating Will, marrying him right out of college.”
It was when she’d called him with news of her engagement that he’d been taken down emotionally, causing him to lose focus that night during his last ride in the rodeo finals in Vegas, giving Lucky Shamrock the upper hand. The sixteen-hundred-pound bull had put an end to Jackson’s career with one good stomp on Jackson’s leg. In that one day, he lost the girl he’d loved enough to let go, and then his career as a professional bull rider.
“It doesn’t matter now,” Jackson told him. “The past is in the past.”
“That means you and Lainie should be able to mend whatever fences the two of you have that need mending.”
This time Jackson didn’t try to deny what his friend had called him out on. He was just grateful he hadn’t pressed for details. That kiss he’d shared with Lainie all those years ago had meant something to Jackson. More than it should have. “You still should have told me she was coming,” he said with a troubled frown.
Justin settled a hip atop the corner of his desk and folded his arms. “So you could leave town?”
“Why would I do that?” he asked.
“You and I both know that you would have done everything in your power to avoid her, all because of that barely noticeable limp you have, and right now Lainie needs you.”
Barely noticeable? Did his friend truly not realize how his injury had affected him, not only physically but mentally? And Lainie had been the one doing the avoiding. He was so busy mentally defending himself that it took a moment for Justin’s last statement to sink in. Lainie needs you.
Jackson met his friend’s sober gaze. “What are you talking about?”
Justin stood and crossed the room to close his office door. Then he turned to face him. “What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this room. My sister will have my head if Mom and Dad get wind of this. Lainie’s hoping things will change and they’ll never need to know what’s been going on.”
He’d never seen his friend so serious. “It stays here,” Jackson promised with a nod.
Justin returned to his desk, sinking into the chair with a heavy sigh. “Lainie is moving home because she’s emotionally wrung out and needed to get away from Sacramento.”
“Understandable,” he replied, his heart going out to Lainie. “She was widowed at twenty-eight, left to raise a young son all on her own.”
“She wouldn’t have had to handle anything on her own if only she had come home after Will died,” Justin said, a hint of frustration lacing his words.
“Maybe Lainie needed to at least try to handle things on her own,” Jackson pointed out. “Know that she could stand on her own two feet. Whatever her reason may be, it’s safe to say the past couple of years, twenty months to be exact, couldn’t have been easy for her. Or for Lucas, for that matter,” he added, recalling the boy’s angry outburst.
“You know the exact number of months?”
“It happened to Lainie,” Jackson replied.
Justin nodded. “Sort of burns itself into one’s memory, doesn’t it? And you’re right. It hasn’t been easy for her. Granted, Lainie always tried to sound strong whenever we talked on the phone, but I could hear the strain of what she’s been through in her voice, having to cope with such a tragedy on her own. I know when we went out there for Will’s funeral Lucas was angry with God for taking his father. We all talked to him, trying to get him to see that his anger shouldn’t be directed at the Lord, but at the bad choices people sometimes make. Like the teenager who ran that red light that night, causing the accident. Lainie said Lucas had been coming around, but then eight months ago he suddenly began acting out again. Not only at home, but at school and church as well.”
“Sounds like his grief is finally surfacing,” Jackson said, his heart going out to the little boy, who’d lost his father so young, and to Lainie, whose husband had been taken from her so tragically.
“It needs to,” his friend said. “Grief tends to fester when it’s shoved aside. Look at how it affected Garrett.”
Not only had Jackson and his brothers lost a sister, but his older brother had also lost his high school sweetheart. It had taken Hannah, Garrett’s new wife, and her son, Austin, to bring joy fully back into his life.
“I don’t want to even think about Lucas holding in his grief for seventeen years like my brother did,” Jackson said with a frown.
“Lainie hopes their moving back to Bent Creek, where Lucas will also have his grandparents and myself to turn to when things are troubling him, might be what my nephew needs to pull him from this grief-driven anger he’s been experiencing.”
Jackson could tell there were issues going on between Lainie and her son but didn’t know to what extent. “From what I witnessed today, when I took the key over to your sister, Lainie isn’t overreacting where her son is concerned.”
Justin’s brows furrowed. “Why? What did you see?”
“It was more what I overheard. Their voices were raised, at least her son’s was, when I rode up to your porch,” Jackson explained. “Lucas was having a meltdown of sorts and then ran off. Lainie doesn’t know I overheard their exchange of words, and I’d appreciate it if things could stay that way. Sounds like she’s got enough on her plate already without adding embarrassment to all the other emotions she’s dealing with right now.”
“I appreciate that,” his friend said, concern creasing his brow. “I had intended to take the day off and be home waiting for them when they came, but they arrived a couple days ahead of schedule and I am tied up here at work for several more hours.”
An impatient tapping sounded at the office door.
“Excuse me,” Justin said apologetically as he stood and crossed the room to answer it.
“Sheriff,” Mrs. Baxter, the middle-aged receptionist who worked the front desk, said a bit breathlessly, a troubled frown marring her features. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Kathy Culler just called. Todd—that is Deputy Culler—has had an accident.”
“How bad?” Justin pressed, his words pulling Jackson back to the present.
“Bad,” she said fretfully. “Apparently, Deputy Culler fell off his ladder while putting Christmas lights up on their roof and broke his hip. Kathy told me they’d just taken him back for emergency surgery.”
Justin dragged a hand back through his dark brown hair. “The break must have been a serious one.”
She nodded. “Kathy isn’t one to get too overwrought about things, but she was definitely in a panicked state when she called to let us know.”
Jackson said a silent prayer for the injured man, knowing firsthand how hard recovery could be for a badly broken hip. Especially for an older man. Deputy Culler was in his late fifties and had been employed by Bent Creek’s Sheriff’s Department for as long as Jackson could remember. Could probably even have been sheriff somewhere along the way if he hadn’t had such an aversion to all the extra paperwork and responsibility the position demanded, stressors of the job Justin handled with ease.
“I’ll head over to the hospital to sit with her for a while as soon as I finish up here,” Justin told his frazzled secretary. “In the meantime, call Deputy Mitchell and explain the situation. See if there’s any chance he could cut his vacation short to come back and take over Deputy Culler’s shift. Tell him we’ll make it up to him.”
“I doubt he’ll be able to,” she replied, her frown deepening. “He’s on a ship somewhere in Alaska.”
Justin sighed. “I forgot he was going to be seeing Alaska by cruise ship.”
She managed a slight smile. “Probably because his vacations usually include a remote cabin somewhere. Not a fancy hotel on the water. Besides, you’ve got a lot on your mind with your sister and her son coming home to live with you.”
Jackson’s brows knitted together. Justin had told his receptionist about Lainie moving home, but had chosen to keep the news from him? Sure, Jackson had mentioned knowing there were issues between him and Lainie. But it made Jackson wonder exactly what his friend did know. Had Lainie opened up to her brother about the heartbreak Jackson had caused her? About how he had crushed all of her girlhood dreams about true love?
“I could probably reach him through the cruise line’s main office,” Mrs. Baxter suggested. “He could probably catch a flight home from his next stop.”
“No,” Justin said, shaking his head with a sigh. “Deputy Vance and I can split Deputy Culler’s shifts between us.”
“Only two of you doing everything?” she said, growing wide-eyed beneath the rim of her rhinestone-lined cat’s-eye glasses.
“It’ll only be for ten or so days,” he assured her. “Then Deputy Mitchell will be back and can take over his share of the extra workload. In the meantime, I’ll see if we can bring in additional help until we’re back to a full crew.”
She shrugged. “I suppose that’s all we can do for now. Thank the Lord above that Bent Creek is a peace-loving town or we would be in real trouble.”
Justin offered her a reassuring smile. “If that was an issue, I’d just deputize Jackson here to fill in. He’s good with a rope. Could lasso any criminal who dared to step foot in our little town.”
The older woman looked his way and Jackson smiled. “If it ever came down to it, I wouldn’t even wait for him to ask. I’d volunteer.” His gaze slid over to Justin. “Because that’s what friends are for. To help each other out in times of need.” And Justin had been there for him plenty of times over the years. Especially after Lucky Shamrock had sent Jackson to the hospital with a crushed leg and fractured hip. Justin was always checking in on him. He’d driven Jackson to countless physical therapy sessions and had picked Jackson up those times depression threatened to claim him.
“That’s good to know,” the older woman said, sounding a little less harried. Looking to Justin, she said, “I’ll call Kathy and let her know you’ll be stopping by.”
“Thank you,” Justin said, closing the door behind the older woman’s departing form. Then he turned to Jackson. “This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”
“Not so sure Todd had much say-so over the timing,” Jackson pointed out with a small grin, hoping to ease some of his friend’s stress.
“Maybe not, but the fact remains I’m going to be spending most of my time working.”
“In other words, nothing’s changed,” he pointed out. His friend was very committed to the position he’d been appointed to and worked long hours already as it was.
“I had hoped to take a little time off to spend time with Lainie and Lucas, but that won’t be possible now,” Justin said with a heavy sigh.
“I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“Maybe so. But Lainie was counting on me to do things with Lucas his father might have done if he were still here. With Todd out of commission, and Deputy Mitchell away on a lengthy vacation, I’m going to have far less time to spend with my nephew. Intentional or not, I’m letting my sister down when she needs me the most.”
“Maybe your dad can fill in until your schedule frees up a little,” Jackson suggested.
Justin looked to him. “Dad? You do recall that he’s seventy years old now, with arthritis in both knees.”
Jackson nodded. Justin and Lainie’s parents had been in their early-to midforties when they’d adopted the orphaned siblings. His friend had been five at the time and Lainie only two, and they had been loved beyond measure by their adoptive parents—the only parents they had ever really known. “I suppose that would make it difficult to play football with Lucas, or to go on hikes with him through the woods.” And all the things they used to do with their fathers as boys.
“Jackson,” Justin said, meeting his gaze. “You’ve always been like a brother to me. To Lainie as well.”
Not always, Jackson thought, recalling the kiss. Guilt nudged at him. “I feel the same way.”
“Glad to hear it,” his friend replied. “Because we need your help.”
Jackson’s brows arched upward. “My help?” Something told him he didn’t want to hear what the other man had to say.
“I’m not going to be able to be there for my sister and her son right now,” he said, and Jackson could tell it was tearing him apart. “At least, not like I’d planned to be. But I’m hoping they’ll be able to have the next best thing—you.”
Me? he thought, feeling the urge to back himself right out of Justin’s office. The last thing Lainie wanted to do was spend time around him. “Justin, you know I would do anything for you. But how am I supposed to help Lainie with her son?”
“You’re an uncle,” his friend explained. “You’ve had experience with kids.”
“Limited,” he countered.
“More than me,” Justin pointed out, effectively winning the debate.
“Have you forgotten about my bad leg?”
Justin arched a brow. “You can’t be serious.”
He was. But not because it would keep him from doing things with Justin’s nephew. It was having Lainie see him limp around on his damaged leg, knowing he could never be the man she’d once been so determined to give her heart to.
“Look,” his friend said, his tone serious, “if you’re too busy to help me out, or would just prefer not to, just say so. I’ll figure something out. I know you’ve just finished up the rodeo season and you’re probably worn thin.”
True. He was still recovering from spending weeks on end, traveling from state to state with the broncs he and his brothers had contracted out to various rodeos. But this was his best friend asking for his help. More importantly, Lainie needed it, even if he was fairly certain she wouldn’t want it. And Justin had enough on his plate as it was. He shouldn’t have to be worrying about his sister as well.
Shoving his own reservations back, Jackson said with a sigh of resignation, “No need to look elsewhere. I’ll do it.”
Relief swept over the sheriff’s face in the form of a wide smile. “Thanks. I owe you one. My sister’s happiness means the world to me.”
It meant the world to him, too, but Jackson wasn’t so sure Lainie knew that. Probably for the best, he decided, because they could never go back to the way things were before he’d broken her heart.
Chapter Two (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
“Morning,” Lainie said in greeting as her brother, finally coming in from the night shift he’d had to work, stepped into the kitchen. He was a sight for sore eyes after her trip home and a long, restless night, having cried herself to sleep the night before thanks to an emotional journey.
“Sis,” Justin replied with an affectionate grin as he crossed the kitchen to where she stood at the stove frying up some bacon. He gave her a warm, welcoming bear hug and then released her as he took a step back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here with you last night.”
She shrugged. “Life doesn’t always work out the way we plan for it to.” She knew that better than anyone. “Besides, Lucas and I were both spent. We went to bed early. Thank you for keeping me updated though. Sounds like things are more than a little bit crazy at work for you right now.” He’d called her the evening before to explain what had happened and to let her know he wouldn’t be making it home that night. Then he had texted her that morning to let her know he was finally on his way home and couldn’t wait to see her and his nephew.
“To say the least. Deputy Vance and I were trying to get some sort of temporary schedule worked out.”
“I hate the thought of you having driven home after working the night shift,” she said with a frown. “If only I could have helped you.” But she hadn’t driven since the night of the accident that killed Will. Didn’t think she ever would again, which was why she intended to look for a place in town. Lucas would be able to walk to school and she would be able to get to the grocery store, pharmacy, even the doctor, whatever either of them might need.
“I was able to grab an hour or so of shut-eye in my office when Deputy Vance came in to relieve me. After that, I felt rested enough to make the short drive home.”
“That makes me feel a little better,” she told him. “As anxious as I was to see you, I’m glad you stayed and got some much-needed rest before coming home.” She couldn’t bear it if something happened to him, too.
“Some homecoming, huh?” he said with a frown.
“It was probably for the best,” she admitted. “Lucas wasn’t in the best of moods when we got here yesterday.”
Justin settled back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in a casual stance. “Jackson said you and Lucas had words.”
Lainie turned her attention back to the pan of crispy bacon atop the stove, a knot forming in her stomach. Just as she had feared, Jackson had been there long enough to hear at least part of the argument she was having with her son. “I wish you hadn’t sent him here with the key.”
“You’d rather I left you standing outside in the cold?”
She frowned. “No.”
“You told me you wanted to wait until today to surprise Mom and Dad since you arrived early, and because you wanted to give Lucas a chance to settle in after the move. Therefore, my calling them to run over to Bent Creek to bring you their spare key was out of the question. So Jackson was the next-best thing.”
Lainie sighed. “I’m sorry, Justin. I don’t mean to give you a hard time. Especially since you’re doing so much for Lucas and me, allowing us to stay here until we find a place of our own. But things are just...well, they’re awkward between Jackson and myself.” She’d also need to look for a job. While her husband had left them financially secure, she wanted to keep most of that money in the bank for unexpected expenses and for a college fund for her son.
He nodded in understanding. “I’d imagine they would be. You haven’t really seen him or even spoken to him for years. What I don’t understand is why that is.”
Lainie prayed to the Lord for the emotional strength this homecoming was going to require of her. But if it helped her son, she would endure anything that came her way—even her foolish young past where she’d thrown herself, heart included, at Jackson, only to be told he didn’t feel the same way.
“Life changes and so do people,” she explained as she turned to the stove and began plucking the bacon out of the cast-iron frying pan with the tongs. She then placed the crispy strips onto the paper-towel-covered plate she’d put on the counter beside the stove. “Jackson is all about the rodeo,” she went on, praying the hurt she’d tried to keep bottled up where her brother’s best friend was concerned would remain where she’d placed it—buried deep. “And, of course, his family. Just as I’m not the same young girl who left Bent Creek all those years ago. I’ve grown up.” Grown wiser. “The focus in my life is on my family, too, but most especially on my son. And now, more than ever, it needs to stay that way. I can’t afford any distractions.”
“Okay, so if I were to read a little deeper between the lines of that explanation, I think what you’re also saying is that you still haven’t gotten over Jackson,” her brother said, taking Lainie by surprise.
Her head snapped around, her gaze meeting his. “Excuse me?”
Justin grabbed a cup from the kitchen cupboard and poured himself some of the coffee Lainie had made when she’d first awoken that morning. “When you were little,” he said calmly, “you used to adore Jackson, following us around like a pesky shadow. As you got older, I would watch your face light up whenever he came over to visit.”
“He was like my other brother,” she said, realizing as soon as she’d said it that she’d done so a little too defensively. “I was always happy to see you when you came home.”
“Maybe so,” he conceded. “But I never got as many meatballs as you served Jackson with his spaghetti when you helped Mom with dinner. And I might also point out that his garlic bread slices were—”
“All right,” she muttered as she placed the final bacon strip onto the awaiting plate and then turned to face him. “I might have had a small crush on your best friend. But I was young and foolish, and I can guarantee you that I’ll never be that doe-eyed girl again where Jackson Wade is concerned.”
“Never is a very long time,” he pointed out.
“It’s how it has to be.”
“That being the case, do you think you could handle Jackson’s stepping in for me where Lucas is concerned?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I asked Jackson to help you with Lucas until I get this mess at work straightened out.”
“Justin,” she groaned.
“He knows his way around kids,” her brother hastened to explain.
She snorted. “Jackson Wade? The only thing he knows his way around is horses.”
Her brother shook his head. “Not true. He has a niece, who is only a year or so younger than Lucas, and now two nephews, since Autumn recently gave birth, giving Tucker a son.”
“But no children of his own,” she countered.
“Neither do I, but you asked for my help with Lucas.”
“That’s different. And you are every bit as qualified as Jackson is as far as that goes. You have a nephew, too.”
“Lainie,” he said, sounding frustrated, “you know what I mean. However, the point I’m trying to make is that Jackson is a very devoted uncle who puts a good bit of time in with his niece and nephews. And the truth of the matter is that no man is born a father. That sort of thing comes later, with maturity and time. While Jackson and I aren’t anyone’s fathers yet, we are men. We know what it’s like to be a young boy. We know how their minds think, and what activities they like to participate in. Just give Jackson a chance.”
Her brother might be right, but that didn’t change things. She still reacted like a silly, lovestruck teenager whenever Jackson was near. To the point she felt like she was being disloyal to her husband.
“Lucas will be fine until you can spend time with him. I don’t want or need Jackson’s help. But please thank him for offering to do so the next time you see him. Once Christmas break is over, Lucas will be able to start making friends, which should help him settle into his new life here.”
His worried frown deepened. “It’s your decision. But that won’t change the fact that you will be seeing Jackson from time to time.”
She knew that. She couldn’t ask her brother to keep Jackson from stopping by to see him. Nor would she. She would simply have to do her best to work around the situation whenever it occurred. Like go to her room and lose herself in a good book. Or even slip outside for a long walk.
“I’m an adult,” she told him. “I think I can handle crossing paths with Jackson Wade from time to time.” At least, she prayed she could.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. “Because the last thing I want to do is add to the stress you’re under right now.”
“I appreciate your concern,” she told him as she pulled a carton from the fridge. “But I’m a lot stronger than I look. One or two eggs?”
He looked to the stove. “You don’t have to cook for me.”
“I want to.” It made her feel like she was needed. Without Will in her life, and with her son pushing her away, Lainie felt like she was adrift in a churning sea of loneliness. It was her own fault. After the accident, she’d turned all her focus to Lucas, leaving no time for social interaction with the friends she’d made after she and Will had married. “How many eggs would you like? I just finished frying up the bacon right before you got home.”
“Have you eaten?”
She shook her head. “No. But I’m not very hungry.”
“Lainie, you need to eat,” he insisted.
“Fine,” she said, not having the energy to argue. “I’ll have an egg, too.”
“And Lucas?”
“He’s still asleep. Traveling home yesterday took a lot out of him.” As did his determination to fight this move, to fight her, she thought wearily, her heart aching. She turned back to the stove before her brother noticed the tears filling her eyes. While she had come there, praying her brother might be able to help her son, she didn’t want to add to Justin’s stress at that moment. Not with all he had going on at work. She could weather this storm a little longer on her own, just as she had been for the past eight months or so, ever since her son had started acting out with fits of anger. “How many eggs would you like?” she called back over her shoulder.
“Two, please.”
“Over easy with a dash of pepper?”
“I can’t believe you remember that.”
She remembered a lot of things. Some she wished she didn’t. Like the kiss she had given her brother’s best friend at the Old West Festival Dance, one that had every bit of her heart behind it, and then the rejection that had followed. She remembered her determination to forget him, and then her rush to find the kind of love Jackson had denied her.
Will had been the one to give her that love. While he hadn’t taken Jackson’s place completely, it had been enough for her to find happiness with her husband, even have a son with him. She also remembered arguing with him before driving home from the cocktail party his company had given in his honor for landing one of the biggest contracts their firm had ever closed on. She’d been upset with him for partaking in far too many celebratory toasts. And to think she’d appointed herself his designated driver, to make certain they both got home safely, only to be hit by another driver who hadn’t let someone else take him home. She would never forget the jarring impact of the other car slamming into them, followed by pain and fear as the darkness had engulfed her.
“Lainie?” Her brother’s worried voice brought her back to the present. She shoved the painful memories away and forced a smile as she carried the egg carton over to the counter by the stove. “Toast?” she asked as she cracked an egg over the nonstick frying pan she had set out on the burner next to the cast-iron skillet.
“Sounds good,” Justin said. “But I’m fixing it for us.”
She nodded and watched as her brother crossed the kitchen to the pantry. “When do you have to go back to work?”
“This afternoon,” he replied as he returned with a half-eaten loaf of bread. “After I get a few more hours of sleep.”
“Oh,” she replied, her shoulders sagging. She thought they’d have at least a little time to spend together before his next shift. It looked as if her parents were going to have to come to her and Lucas instead.
Her brother stepped over and wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders. “I really am sorry, sis. I know this isn’t working out the way we planned, but everything’s going to be all right. I promise.”
He had always been a man of his word. But it was a promise she wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep. Her life felt like it had unraveled at its seams to the point no amount of sewing would ever be able to repair it. No matter how many prayers she sent heavenward. All she could do was nod her reply.
“You look great by the way,” he said, his tone more uplifting.
Lainie snorted as her gaze met his. Then she poked a finger into his shirt, nudging him away. “I’d appreciate it if you would take a step or two back, so your nose doesn’t poke my eye out when it starts to grow.”
“I’m not lying,” he said with a chuckle. “Considering all you’ve been dealing with, you look good.”
“Well, you don’t,” she countered.
Justin’s dark brows lifted.
“It’s the truth,” she said, managing a small grin. “You look like you just rolled out of bed fully dressed.” Her gaze moved down to his wrinkled uniform and then back up to his face. “And you need a shave.”
Her brother chuckled. “I did just roll out of bed, or off my office sofa to be exact.” He scrubbed a hand down over his jaw. “I was on my way to grab a shower and shave when I heard someone moving about in the kitchen. I figured you’d be sleeping in, too.”
“I couldn’t,” she admitted. “Too much on my mind I suppose.”
His expression sobered. “I hate that you’ve had to deal with everything on your own. Especially over the holidays.”
“It was my choice,” she reminded him, not wanting to think about Christmas being only a couple of weeks away.
The doorbell rang, thankfully taking her brother’s focus off her problems. “Be right back.”
Lainie watched him go and then turned back to the stove. Grabbing the shaker, she sprinkled some salt over the eggs and added a dash of pepper. Then, reaching for the spatula, she flipped them over in the pan.
“Morning,” a husky male voice, not her brother’s, said from the entryway behind her.
Her eyes widened, and her foolish heart immediately sped up. She cast an anxious glance back over her shoulder to find Jackson Wade standing there, cowboy hat held in one hand, looking every bit as uncomfortable as she felt.
“Morning,” she replied.
Justin stepped past him into the kitchen. “Come on in,” he told his friend. “We’re just getting ready to have some breakfast. You hungry?”
“No,” Jackson answered. “I ran into Deputy Vance when I stopped by Abby’s to grab a doughnut and a cup of coffee this morning. He said you’d gone home to catch up on some much-needed sleep.”
Lainie turned to look at the two men. “I could step out of the room if you need to talk to Justin.”
Jackson shook his head. “No need. I just came by to see what time I was supposed to pick you up and take you to your mom and dad’s today.”
“You could have called,” Justin noted. “Saved yourself a trip over here.”
Jackson’s brows drew together. “I don’t have Lainie’s number and I figured you were fast asleep. It wasn’t like I had to go out of my way to swing by here. We are neighbors, you know.”
Lainie was still trying to process Jackson’s reason for being there. “Justin asked you to take Lucas and me to Mom and Dad’s?”
“I did,” her brother said matter-of-factly as he removed the nylon spatula from her hand and then nudged her aside.
Only then did Lainie realize the eggs she’d been making them for breakfast had started to burn, all thanks to their unexpected visitor.
“When I knew I wouldn’t be free to take you to see them,” her brother explained, somewhat apologetically as he slid the crispy-edged eggs out onto the awaiting plates, “I called Jackson to see if he could run you over there.”
“He doesn’t need to do that,” Lainie insisted with a frown, her gaze fixed on Jackson’s handsome face.
“You can’t walk there,” her brother pointed out. “And you need to go see Mom and Dad before they catch wind of your being here ahead of schedule.”
“She could take your truck,” Jackson suggested.
Her brother shook his head. “Lainie doesn’t drive anymore or I would have offered it to her.”
Jackson’s gaze swung back her way, surprise registering on his face. But he didn’t press her with questions. Instead, he said, “It’s a short ride. I’ll drop you off at your parents’ place and then go home. You can give me a call when you’re ready for me to pick you and Lucas up.” He looked even less happy about the situation than she did.
Of course, that shouldn’t surprise her. Jackson had effectively rid himself of her all those years ago. She was quite certain he wasn’t the least bit eager to have her shoved back into his life again. But she wanted to see her parents, enough to go along with her brother’s alternative plan—Jackson included.
“Lainie!” her mother squealed in delight the second she opened the door and saw her daughter standing there. Her gaze dropped down to her grandson, her happiness at seeing him written all over her face. “Lucas! Look how big you’ve gotten since we saw you last!” She bent to capture him in a warm hug.
Lainie waited, fearing her son’s response, because he’d been avoiding any sort of affection where Lainie was concerned. But he reciprocated his grandmother’s warm embrace and then stood smiling while she planted several happy kisses on his cheeks. Lainie felt both relief and hurt.
Her mother leaned in to give Lainie a loving hug as well. “We didn’t expect you home until tomorrow.”
“We got an earlier start than we had planned.” She left out the part where her son had threatened to run away so he wouldn’t have to leave his dad. Lainie had tried to explain to Lucas that his father would be with him anywhere he went, that his soul was no longer with his body where it had been laid to rest, but with the Lord. When he hadn’t seemed accepting of her gentle explanation, she’d decided not to wait to go home to Bent Creek. It hadn’t been cheap to change their flights last minute, but the relief she’d felt when they’d landed in Rock Springs, Wyoming, so close to home and the help she so badly needed, was worth the cost.
“Well, come on in,” her mother said, stepping aside as she motioned them into the one-bedroom, ground floor condo her parents had moved into a little over four years earlier. Her father’s arthritic knees had pained him too much going up and down the stairs in the home Lainie and Justin had been raised in. So her parents had downsized into a much more manageable one-story condo a town over from Bent Creek, selling their house to Justin for far less than they could have gotten for it on the open housing market. But that’s how her parents had always been—striving to make her and Justin’s lives better any way they could.
“Baby girl!” her father said as he joined them in the entryway.
“Dad,” she said, stepping into his welcoming embrace.
Her father turned to Lucas. “And who’s this young man?” He pretended to search beyond her son. “Where’s my baby boy?”
Lucas groaned. “Grandpa.”
Her father’s eyes widened. “Lucas? Is that really you?”
Her mother gave her husband a nudge. “Stop your teasing. We both know we can’t keep him our little boy forever.”
If only that were possible, Lainie thought sadly. Lucas had always adored her. That’s why this change in him was so heartbreaking.
“Afternoon, Jackson,” her father said, glancing past Lainie and her son.
Jackson gave a nod in greeting. “Mr. Dawson.” Then he looked to her mother. “Mrs. Dawson.”
Her mother smiled. “It’s so good to see you.” Her gaze moved beyond him. “Where’s Justin?”
“Home, catching up on his sleep,” Lainie explained. “He worked the night shift last night and has to go back in later this afternoon.”
Disappointment registered on her mother’s face. “That son of mine is always burning the candle at both ends.” She looked to Jackson. “Well, come on in out of that cold.”
“I’m not staying,” he told her. “Just dropping Lainie and Lucas off.”
“Don’t be silly,” the older woman said with a wave of her hand. “There’s no sense in you making two trips out here. Stay and visit.”
He hesitated, looking uncomfortable. “This is family time. You don’t need me around while you’re catching up with your daughter and your grandson.”
“You are family,” her father said with a warm smile.
“That’s right,” Lainie’s mother said. “You are. Now come on inside. It’s cold out.”
Jackson looked to Lainie for help, but if she were to put up any sort of protest it would have her parents asking questions she’d rather not have to answer. So he nodded his consent, swept the cowboy hat from his head and stepped the rest of the way inside, closing the door behind him.
“Lucas, there’s a plate of Christmas cookies on the kitchen table,” her mother said. “Grandma baked them this morning if you’d like to go pick a few out.”
Lucas’s face lit up and then her son raced off in search of the sugary sweets his grandmother had no doubt prepared for his arrival.
“Two cookies!” Lainie hollered after him, knowing full well her son would go for the iced cut-out sugar cookies. They were his favorite. And her mother’s tended to be the size of cereal bowls.
“I thought your brother told me he was off today,” her mother said as she led them into the living room.
“He was supposed to be,” Lainie replied as she removed her coat and draped it over the arm of the sofa.
“Deputy Culler fell off a ladder while putting up Christmas lights and had to be taken to the hospital,” Jackson explained further. “Justin had to cover for him last night.”
Her mother’s hand went to her mouth. “Oh, that poor man,” she groaned in sympathy. “Is he all right?”
“He fractured his hip and had to have emergency surgery,” he explained. “But he’ll be fine.”
“Thank the Lord it wasn’t worse,” her father said. “He could’ve broken his neck.”
Like Will had when the car driven by a very intoxicated teenage boy struck ours. Lainie felt nausea stir in the pit of her stomach.
“Oh, honey,” her dad said, his face blanching as he realized what he’d just said. “I didn’t mean to stir up old—”
“It’s okay, Dad,” she said, hurrying to cut him off. Her son didn’t know any of the details about his father’s passing, other than the fact that she had been behind the wheel when the accident had occurred. And he only knew that because one of his friends at school had overheard his mother talking to another mother about Lucas’s father’s accident. That came after a more recent incident in their community that also involved a teen driving recklessly. Thankfully, the other driver’s quick reactions had allowed him to steer clear of what could have been a truly serious outcome—like it had been with her and Will.
Pulling herself together, as she’d had to do since that night she’d awakened in the hospital to find out her husband hadn’t survived the wreck, she said, “I agree. Deputy Culler was very blessed to have come out of it with only a broken hip. But that means Justin and Deputy Vance are going to be handling all the shifts until he can bring in some backup.” She was shocked to sound so calm when so much guilt and regret was whirling about inside her.
“What about Deputy Mitchell?” her father asked.
“Apparently, Deputy Mitchell is on a cruise in Alaska somewhere.”
“Poor Justin,” her mother said with a worried frown. “He works himself to the bone as it is. And poor Kathy. She’s got to be beside herself with worry. A broken hip will mean a long recovery for Todd. I’ll have to make some soup and corn bread to take over to the Cullers after he gets home. Kathy will no doubt have her hands full taking care of her husband.”
Lainie smiled. So like her mom, always caring about others. “I’m sure they would appreciate that.”
“I think I’ll go peek in on my grandson,” her dad said, getting up from his seat. “Wouldn’t want him to spoil his appetite.”
Her mother laughed as he walked away. “Same goes for you,” she called after him and then turned back to Lainie and Jackson. “Your father is going to be a bad influence on your son, I’m afraid.”
“A little sugar won’t hurt him, I suppose,” Lainie replied with a shrug. She had learned not to sweat the small stuff. She had much bigger stuff in her life to contend with.
“You should know,” her mother said with a smile. “Your father ‘snuck’ you and your brother plenty of sweets when the two of you were growing up.”
“And I loved him for it.” And she loved him for giving her and Justin a place to call home. For making them feel safe and loved. The humor left her eyes. “How’s Dad doing? He’s not moving around as well as he was the last time I saw him.” That had been the previous December, when her parents and Justin had flown to Sacramento the week before Christmas to spend a few days with her and Lucas, because she couldn’t bring herself to come home for the holidays. Guilt at Will’s passing still kept her from wanting to celebrate anything. She’d only done so for her son’s sake, wanting to keep his life as normal as possible.
Her mother gave a wave of her hand. “Don’t go worrying yourself over us. Your father and I are doing fine. Just the aches and pains that come along with getting old.” She leaned forward, placing a hand on Lainie’s knee. “The question is, how are you doing, honey?”
Lainie shot a nervous glance in Jackson’s direction, praying he wouldn’t bring up the argument he’d witnessed between her and her son, and then turned to smile at her mother. “I’m home where all my family and friends are. How could I not be happy?”
“We’re so glad to have you back here with us,” her mother said, tearing up. “It makes me want to move back to Bent Creek.”
“I’m sure Justin would be more than willing to sell the house back to you and Dad. But keep in mind that he loves that place, which means you’ll more than likely be stuck with him living there with the two of you.”
Her mother laughed. “He does love the ranch. So did we. But this condo works best with your father’s physical limitations. Not that I wouldn’t love having both you and your brother and my grandson, living under the same roof as us again.”
“That would be nice,” Lainie concurred. “But as much as I would like to go back to the way things were, I know better. We can’t turn back time. All we can do is move on and accept the fact that nothing stays the same.”
“I beg to differ,” Jackson said, meeting her gaze. “Some things do remain the same.”
Lainie stiffened. As if she didn’t already know where his feelings lay where she was concerned. “Another reason not to look back, but to move on.”
Her mother’s confused gaze shifted back and forth between Lainie and Jackson. “Well,” she said, as if sensing there was more to the conversation than what she was hearing, “one thing that hasn’t changed is the happiness it brings me to have you home for the holidays. And, Jackson, plan on joining us at Justin’s place for Christmas Eve lunch. It’ll be just like old times.” Her brows drew together in worry. “Unless that would interfere with plans you have with your ever-growing family.”
He looked to Lainie, who was mentally begging him to refuse her mother’s invitation, and then nodded. “I’d like that, Mrs. Dawson. What can I bring?”
What could he bring? Lainie looked at Jackson in disbelief. He really intended to come to their holiday gathering?
“Just bring yourself,” her mother said happily. “I’m sure you and Lainie have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Not really,” Lainie countered. “Justin has kept me up-to-date on Jackson and his rodeo company’s pursuits.”
Jackson’s dark brows lifted, as did the corner of his mouth with her pronouncement. Then that Wade dimple worked its way to the surface. “Keeping tabs on me, Lainie?”
Heat crept up her neck. Pushing up from the sofa, Lainie turned to her mom. “I’m going to go check in on Lucas and Dad and make sure they haven’t eaten all your cookies.”
“Be sure to bring one back for Jackson, honey,” her mother called after her. “You know how much he always liked my sugar cookies.”
Far more than he’d ever liked her, Lainie thought with a frown as she hurried away. And she would do well to remember that.
Chapter Three (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
“You cutting out for the day?”
Jackson released his hold on his truck’s door handle and turned to see one of his brothers, Garrett, leaning against the open barn door, concern written across his face. His other brother, Tucker, stood next to him, his mouth drawn in a tight line.
“I’ve got an errand to run.”
“Everything okay?” Tucker asked with a studying glance.
Of course his brothers would pick up on his being a little off his game, despite Jackson’s efforts to go on as he always had. Not an easy task when inside his thoughts were whirling around like crazy, dragging his emotions right along with them.
Sighing, Jackson said, “I’m on my way out to Justin’s place.”
“I think you’ll have better luck finding him in town,” Tucker said. “That man never stops working. Especially now that Deputy Culler is laid up.”
“I’m not going over to his place to see him,” Jackson confessed. “I’m going over to check on Lainie and her son.”
Simultaneously, his brothers’ eyes rounded, making them look like a couple of startled hoot owls.
“Lainie?” Garrett repeated in confusion.
“She’s home?” Tucker said in surprise.
Jackson nodded. “She and her son flew in the day before last.”
“That so?” Garrett said as he peeled off his work gloves, shoving them into the back pocket of his jeans. “You never made any mention of it.”
“I couldn’t,” Jackson replied. “I gave my word to Justin to keep it to myself until Lainie could get out to visit with her parents. She came home sooner than expected and wanted to surprise them, which she did yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” Tucker repeated. “So it’s no longer a secret that she’s home, yet you still kept it to yourself? You know Mom would want to know Lainie’s back. Especially now that it’s for good. They always get together when she comes home.”
Yes, they did find time to meet up when Lainie came home. His mother would always give them the rundown of what was new with Lainie after every visit, since Jackson and his brothers were usually out of town when she came to Bent Creek to see her family. It was him Lainie clearly didn’t want anything to do with, strategically planning her visits around his not being there. Her determination to avoid him because of the hurt he’d caused her was something he prayed he would be able to set to rights—even though he knew there was no chance of anything more than friendship between them. Not only because Lainie had moved on a long time ago, but because he was no longer the man she had been starry-eyed over. He was a has-been rodeo champ with a lame leg. But if she was going to be putting down roots again in Bent Creek with her son, they needed to find some way to coexist without the past coming between them.
“Never mind that,” Tucker said, drawing Jackson from his thoughts. “Are you really going over to Jackson’s to check up on Lainie and her son?”
He nodded.
“To make amends with her?” Garrett pressed.
His brother’s words caught Jackson off guard. “Amends for what?” he heard himself say.
“Maybe it’s time you tell us,” Garrett said. “You and Lainie used to be so close. And then she went off to school and everything changed. It was as if she had shut you out of her life. And she only came home to visit when you weren’t here. And if you were, she deliberately steered clear of you.”
“Garrett’s right,” Tucker said with a nod of agreement. “There was no missing the divide that had fallen between the two of you more than a decade ago. Only we never understood why.”
“What happened between the two of you?” Garrett asked. “Lainie was the sister we all longed to have after losing ours, but she was even closer to you considering all the time you spent over at the Dawsons’ with Justin when we were growing up.”
“She wasn’t like a sister to me,” he countered with a growl of frustration. He’d given up so much when he’d let her go. Something that had only really set in the day she’d called to tell him she was getting married. “At least, not as we grew older.”
His brothers exchanged glances before turning their focus back to Jackson.
“Care to explain?” Garrett said, his request tendered without the usual teasing that went on between the three of them.
Jackson looked down at the thin coating of snow that covered the ground around his booted feet. He’d never lied to his family when directly asked a question and he wasn’t about to start now.
“I don’t know how it happened,” he began honestly, lifting his gaze to meet theirs. “Lainie was Justin’s little sister. But as time went on and we got older, I started noticing her as the pretty, kindhearted young woman she was growing up to be. But I forced myself to think of her as Justin’s baby sister, not as just Lainie. That all changed when she kissed me,” he said, telling them what he hadn’t told anyone, not even his best friend, for all those years.
“Lainie kissed you?” Tucker exclaimed in surprise.
Garrett elbowed him in the ribs. “Let him finish.”
“Sorry,” he apologized. “Go on.”
“It might have started out that way, but then I found myself kissing her back,” Jackson admitted. “It was at the Old West Festival Dance after she graduated from high school. Before she went off to college and I went off to ride the rodeo circuit.”
“And you were such a bad kisser that she’s spent the years since trying to avoid you?” Tucker said, only to receive chastising scowls from both Garrett and Jackson.
Tucker shrugged. “Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. I can tell what happened back then still weighs pretty heavy on your heart.”
“It does,” he said. They had no idea just how heavy. “Lainie wanted to see where things might go between us. Even going so far as to tell me she was willing to turn down her full ride to college in California to remain in Bent Creek near me. Said she would find a job that would allow her to switch up her work schedule to travel to the rodeos I would be competing in.” Jackson’s pained frown deepened. “I couldn’t let her do that, sacrifice all the hard work she had put into getting that academic scholarship for me. So I told her that I only thought of her as a little sister. Nothing more. That the rodeo was where my heart lay. Or something to that effect.”
“Ouch,” Tucker said. “No wonder she has been avoiding you.”
“You did the right thing,” Garrett said with a nod.
Had he? Jackson wondered. Because letting Lainie go had been the biggest regret of his life.
Jackson caught sight of Lainie’s son slipping into the fort at the edge of the tree line as he drove up to Justin’s place. He couldn’t help but wonder if Lucas and his mother had gotten into another argument like the one he’d happened upon the day she’d arrived in Bent Creek. He prayed not. It had hurt his heart to see the emotional divide between the two of them.
He thanked the Lord, as he was sure Lainie had, that her parents hadn’t seemed to notice the rift between mother and son when Jackson had taken them there to visit. But then the Dawsons were overcome with joy to have them both back in Wyoming for good. Lucas had chatted away with his grandparents as if nothing was amiss, had feasted on the cookies his grandmother had baked for him, had even smiled, but every time Lainie had attempted to be a part of her son’s conversation with his grandparents he’d either clammed up or responded with his tiny brows knitted tightly together in an angry scowl.
Shutting off the engine, Jackson stepped down from his truck and made his way around to the back of the house. Sure enough, Lucas was exactly where Jackson had expected him to be, seated inside the fort on the rough-hewn wooden bench that ran along one side of the small space. Leaning back against the rows of treated boards that made up the walls, Lucas sat with his arms crossed, bottom lip trembling, tears spilling from his closed eyes.
Jackson knocked at the entrance where Lucas had left the door partially open in his haste to get inside.
The boy jumped, his head snapping up. “M-Mr. Wade,” he choked out.
Removing his cowboy hat, Jackson ducked and stepped inside. “Seems like I’m not the only one who thought this looked like a good place to slip away to and do some thinking,” he said matter-of-factly as he settled his much-larger frame onto the bench next to Lucas.
“I’m not thinking,” Lainie’s son said with a sniffle.
“No? Because this fort is the kind of place men tend to slip away to when they’ve got things on their mind that need to be sorted out.”
“But I’m not a man,” he countered.
“You’re not too far off from becoming one,” Jackson told him.
Lucas straightened ever so slightly, as if trying to appear the young man Jackson proclaimed him to be.
“Mind if I sit here and do some thinking, too?” Jackson glanced around as if taking in his surroundings. “Seems like a good place to do some.”
The boy shrugged. “I suppose.”
“I’ll just sit here, real quiet-like, while I mull some things over.” Like what he was supposed to do next. Coloring with his niece was one thing. Dealing with a little boy so overwhelmed by grief and anger over the death of his father that he couldn’t contain his emotions was a whole different matter altogether. “Unless you feel the need to talk,” he added as he placed his cowboy hat on the bench beside him and leaned back against the winter-chilled wall, crossing his arms in imitation of the distraught young man beside him.
Silence filled the small, five-by-six fort for several minutes. Jackson had to wonder if the cold was getting to Lucas like it was to him, seeping in through the thick denim of his jeans. It was December, after all.
“I wasn’t crying,” he said defensively. “Because men don’t cry. I was just thinking really hard.”
“Men do cry, son,” he told him. “My father cried when my mom was really sick. My brother Tucker cried when he and his wife had their baby boy.” He’d cried the day Lainie wed, he thought, the pain of it feeling as if it had just happened. No one had seen him do so, of course. It would only have led to questions he’d just as soon not have to answer. Questions like the ones he’d answered before leaving the ranch to go check on Lainie and her son.
“I cried when my dad died.”
“Understandable,” Jackson said quietly.
“And when my mom said we had to move away.” Scuffing the heel of one of his booted feet atop the floorboards, Lucas added with a mutter, “I don’t like it here.”
Jackson took a moment before responding, wanting to gather his thoughts. “No shame in feeling the way you do,” he finally said. “A move is a big thing, saying goodbye to old friends and all. But it also brings new friends into your life. New opportunities. And you might hold off passing judgment on Bent Creek until you’ve had a chance to really see what living here is like.” He prayed both Lucas and Lainie would find the happiness they were seeking here in Bent Creek.
“I want everything to be the way it used to be,” Lucas said, a small sob escaping his lips.
He couldn’t put himself in Lainie’s son’s shoes where the move was concerned. He’d lived his whole life in Bent Creek. But he did know a thing or two about grief. The hurt from losing his little sister still ran deep. He couldn’t even imagine what it felt like to be Lucas’s age and lose a father.
Jackson looked to Lainie’s little boy, who looked so much like his mother, from his dark brown hair to the slight sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of his nose. “Change can be hard,” he admitted. “Sometimes painfully so.” Especially when that change had involved hurting Lainie all those years ago, something she had never forgiven him for. But her happiness had meant the world to him, still did, in fact, and he knew that if she had given up the opportunity for him, Lainie would have come to resent him for it. So he’d done the only thing he could—he’d shut her out emotionally. The hurt he’d seen on her face that night, hurt he’d put there, had nearly broken him. He’d hoped that someday, once she’d finished college, he and Lainie might be at a better place to see where things might go between them. Only Lainie had moved on, finding the love he’d denied her, much to his regret. When she’d called to tell him that she had gotten engaged, it sent his entire life into a complete tailspin. And he had no one to blame but himself for his heart’s loss. “I can tell you this,” he added with a gentle smile. “Your mom wants you to be happy more than anything in the world. That’s why she brought you back to the place she grew up in, where you will have family and new friends.” He glanced up. “And this really cool fort.”
“Lucas!” Lainie’s voice rang out. A second later, the fort’s door squeaked open and she appeared in the undersized doorway. Her reddened eyes told Jackson that, like her son, she’d been crying, too. “Jackson?” she gasped in surprise, an immediate frown pulling at her pink lips.
He stood so abruptly, he struck the top of his head on the low-hanging ceiling—one meant for children, not full-grown men—with a loud thwack. “Lainie,” he replied with a grimace. Looking down into her pretty, tear-streaked face, his heart went out to her. He understood the tension he’d felt between her and her son a little better. Lucas was clearly struggling with being uprooted and he blamed his mother, who was doing what she felt best for him.
Worry pulled at Lainie’s features as her gaze zeroed in on the top of his head. “Jackson,” she said with a fretful groan. “Are you all right?” she asked, her hand lifting as if to see for herself. But then she drew back, letting her hand fall back down to her side.
Something sparked inside of him at that small gesture of concern, even if she had caught herself before acting upon it. It told him that a part of Lainie still cared about him, despite her determination to have him believe otherwise. Jackson rubbed the tender spot on the crown of his head as he hunkered just low enough to avoid any more contact with the wood planks above. “If this skull can take hitting a dirt-packed rodeo arena floor after getting bucked off a couple-thousand-pound bull, a little bump on the noggin isn’t going to do much harm.”
Contrary to the nod she gave him, the sadness in her hazel eyes seemed to deepen. Not that he would have thought that even possible. It was then Jackson realized he’d brought up the one thing that had put a wedge between them all those years ago, at least in her mind—his rodeo career. His heart suddenly felt like it was lodged in his gut. He hadn’t meant to bring up something that would only serve to add to her emotional hurts.
Memories of that evening, of the special dance they’d shared outside in the moonlight and all that had followed, came rushing to the surface of his mind. The choice he’d had to make that night had changed their relationship irrevocably, but he’d done it for Lainie.I love you, she’d said. And then he’d broken her heart. He’d never forget the intense regret that filled him at that moment, or the effort it took not to pull her back into his arms and tell her that he loved her, too. Instead, he’d stood silent, watching as Lainie lifted her chin, and then turned and walked away, out of his life without another word. His brave, sweet Lainie. No, not his
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Kat Brookes
A second chance for a first love. Her little family needs healing… Could he be the answer to her Christmas wish? Home for the holidays, widow Lainie Dawson never would have thought to ask old love Jackson Wade to help her troubled child. But when her grieving son forms a bond with the handsome rancher, ignoring Jackson goes from challenging to impossible. He let his first love go once before, but this Christmas, he’ll hold on to Lainie with all his heart.
A second chance for a first love.
Her little family needs healing...
Could he be the answer to her Christmas wish?
Home for the holidays, widow Lainie Michaels never would have thought to ask old love Jackson Wade to help her troubled child. But when her still-grieving son forms a bond with the handsome rancher, ignoring Jackson goes from challenging to impossible. Jackson let his first love go once before, but this Christmas, he’ll hold on to Lainie with all his heart.
Bent Creek Blessings
KAT BROOKES is an award-winning author and past Romance Writers of America Golden Heart® Award finalist. She is married to her childhood sweetheart and has been blessed with two beautiful daughters. She loves writing stories that can both make you smile and touch your heart. Kat is represented by Michelle Grajkowski with 3 Seas Literary Agency. Read more about Kat and her upcoming releases at katbrookes.com (http://www.katbrookes.com). Email her at katbrookes@comcast.net. Facebook: Kat Brookes (https://www.facebook.com/kat.brookes.5).
Also By Kat Brookes (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
Bent Creek Blessings
The Cowboy’s Little Girl
The Rancher’s Baby Surprise
Hometown Christmas Gift
Texas Sweethearts
Her Texas Hero
His Holiday Matchmaker
Their Second Chance Love
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).
Hometown Christmas Gift
Kat Brookes
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-09924-0
HOMETOWN CHRISTMAS GIFT
© 2019 Kimberly Duffy
Published in Great Britain 2019
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.
® and ™ are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Note to Readers (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
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Text to speech
“Do you think we could do this again sometime?”
“Hmm...I’ll have to think that one over a bit,” Jackson said, pretending to contemplate her question. “Getting you back behind the wheel would mean I would no longer be needed to take you and Lucas here and there. I’m not so sure I’m ready to give that up.”
“I would think you would be relieved,” she told him with a smile.
“You’d be wrong.”
Her smile softened with his admission. “I’m realistic if anything. I know I have a long way to go before I’m going to be comfortable behind the wheel, but I want my independence back. Want to be the kind of mother Lucas deserves.”
His expression softened even more. “Your son is already blessed to have you for his mother, whether you drive or not. He’s just too young to really appreciate what he has, but that will come. Right now, he’s still working through a lot of pain and grief.”
Reaching over, she covered his hand with hers, giving it a squeeze. “I’ve missed you, Jackson Wade.”
Dear Reader (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262),
I really hope you’ve had a chance to read the first two books in my Bent Creek Blessings series—The Cowboy’s Little Girl and The Rancher’s Baby Surprise. Hometown Christmas Gift is the third and final book in this Love Inspired series, giving the last of the Wade brothers, Jackson, his very own happily-ever-after. It’s a story of healing and second chances for both my hero, Jackson, and Lainie, his first love. It’s about turning to one’s faith to help carry us through the hard times and knowing that God has a plan for us all. It’s also discovering that not all Christmas gifts are ones you can hold in your hand, like the gift of forgiveness, the gift of hope and the gift of happiness. Things that both Lainie and Jackson gift each other with in Hometown Christmas Gift. I hope you enjoy reading their story as much as I enjoyed writing it. For updates on my upcoming releases, you can go to my website at www.lindseybrookes.com (http://www.lindseybrookes.com) or follow Kat Brookes on Facebook. The link to my homepage is https://www.facebook.com/kat.brookes.5 (https://www.facebook.com/kat.brookes.5).
Happy holidays!
Kat
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
—James 1:6
This book is dedicated to my cousin
Kathy Dillan and to my good friend
Melissa Huddleston. Two women very
near and dear to my heart. I’m so grateful
to have you both in my life.
Contents
Cover (#u9a855163-19ba-5221-8b13-139687d0d911)
Back Cover Text (#uebcd1a8d-f43b-5f69-991f-73ca93d6b3ad)
About the Author (#u3300f203-b064-5bbd-8ffb-2d964460ca06)
Booklist (#u2e7485f5-4c59-5b95-93a3-25a5f8ddbe19)
Title Page (#uedf124ef-fe25-5ff9-8e97-f93c8f0caec9)
Copyright (#u2a10e799-c616-58ab-b6ed-8e022305235d)
Note to Readers
Introduction (#u7e6d89a6-84e8-54ec-8f7b-b426844e52f8)
Dear Reader (#u93d32c88-4f0a-559b-9bd2-6a9a5b3fad4e)
Bible Verse (#ud42bc674-15c6-5655-a23b-80bf335d09c3)
Dedication (#u45ac6c60-fe3d-534d-972b-ada480121868)
Chapter One (#uda8e1488-6851-55cf-af48-84f67ebc0d60)
Chapter Two (#u594cbf25-2474-5a85-b0d0-306ee79c6825)
Chapter Three (#ubaaaa7ba-9abc-5d08-bab2-069fac1d40ec)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
Lainie Michaels lifted the snow-dusted doormat again, thinking she might have missed the house key her brother was supposed to have left there for her. Nothing. She tried the door again, but it was locked up good and tight. Straightening, she blew on her chilled fingers to warm them and then slipped her gloves back on. At least she’d had the forethought to purchase winter coats for her and her son before moving back to Wyoming.
“I don’t want to be here!” Lainie’s seven-year-old son, Lucas, bellowed behind her, stomping his tiny foot in defiance.
Lainie turned from the locked front door and forced a smile as she prepared to face yet another one of her son’s emotional thunderstorms. “Honey, you’ll like living here in Bent Creek.” At least, she prayed he would. More than anything, she wanted her son to be the sweet, loving little boy he used to be before she’d taken his joy away.
“It’s cold here. I wanna go home,” he replied, his tiny brows furrowed into a deep-set scowl.
Early December in Bent Creek could be cold. Especially when her son was accustomed to California winters, but it was a little soon for any real snow accumulation. Lainie’s gaze moved past Lucas to the large, white flakes coming down from the wintry sky above. Then again, maybe it wasn’t. Cold or not, while living in California, she’d missed the beauty Wyoming winters could bring, the sight of the distant mountains and vast land surrounding her brother’s place, the home she had grown up in, glistening with newly fallen snow. Especially during the holidays.
Looking down at her son, Lainie suddenly felt overwhelmed by emotion and exhausted from having gotten up before dawn that morning to catch their flight. And then, after a three-hour layover in Denver before finally landing in Rock Springs, Wyoming, the nearest airport to Bent Creek, they’d had to take a taxi to her brother’s place a good fifty-minutes away.
“We are home,” she told Lucas. Or, at least what would be their home until they found a place of their own in Bent Creek. Even if she changed her mind about staying there permanently, which she hadn’t, they would have no way to leave. The taxi that brought them there had already driven off. They’d sold their two-bedroom condo in downtown Sacramento, sent a few boxes of their personal items ahead to her brother, Justin, a week prior to flying home and then placed the remainder of their things in storage until they found a home of their own and could have them brought out.
“This isn’t my home,” her son said, his voice cracking with anger.
“It is now, sweetie,” Lainie said softly, praying that she’d made the right decision in coming there.
“You take everything away!” her son sobbed, tears of frustration and anger now filling his hazel eyes. “Even my dad. I hate you!” Turning, he sprinted off the porch and disappeared around the side of the house.
Lainie ran over to the railing and leaned out, watching as Lucas ran away from the house, no doubt to the fort his uncle had built for him two summers before. “Lucas!” she called after him, hot tears blurring her vision. It wasn’t the first time he had run off, and it wasn’t the first time her baby boy’s words had left her feeling broken. Her son hated her, and she couldn’t even blame him for it. He’d lost his father, and it was all her fault. A lump formed in Lainie’s throat as the memory of that night surfaced, making it hard to swallow. No amount of “I’m sorrys” could ever make up for the pain she had caused her little boy. She’d never forget the look of confusion on his face when she’d told him his father was gone, and then fear and bone-deep sorrow that slowly settled in as her son processed her words. It had nearly broken her. A mother’s words were supposed to wrap their child in love and make them feel safe, not shatter their entire world.
The sudden sound of hoofbeats had Lainie turning, a small gasp leaving her lips as she took in the sight of a man seated astride a beautiful buckskin gelding. He came to a stop just on the other side of the porch at the far end of Justin’s house. Although he wore his cowboy hat low and the collar of his leather duster lifted to block the icy, whirling flakes, she’d recognize those dark green eyes of his anywhere.
“Lainie,” Jackson Wade greeted her, his voice so much deeper than it had been when he’d spent time at her house when they were growing up. Jackson had always been her brother’s best friend and also her heart’s greatest weakness.
Her stomach felt as though she’d just taken a steep drop on a roller-coaster ride. The last time she’d seen Jackson had been in the hospital in Las Vegas after he’d been injured while bull riding at Nationals. Only Jackson hadn’t known she’d been there, because she’d not been able to step beyond the open door. Just seeing him lying there, eyes closed, machines surrounding him, had been more than she could take. Especially since she blamed herself for his being there. Had lived with the self-imposed guilt of it for years. Oh, why did their paths have to cross at that very moment?
Lainie turned away, looking off into the direction her son had run, trying desperately to collect herself. “Justin’s not home,” she said as she hurried to swipe a poorly timed tear from her cheek with her gloved hand. Jackson Wade was the last person she wanted to see her in such an emotionally vulnerable state. In fact, she’d prefer not to cross paths with him altogether, now or ever. Unfortunately, “ever” wasn’t in the realm of possibility, considering they were both going to be living in the same small town.
“I know,” he replied as the sound of booted footsteps treading up the porch steps came from a few feet behind her.
She cast a fretful glance back over her shoulder as he strode toward her, her attention drawn to his slightly off-kilter gait. A limp she had caused, she thought to herself, guilt making her turn away once more. She couldn’t bear to see the man who had broken her heart. The man she had in turn broken physically.
A gentle hand came to rest on her shoulder. “Lainie,” he said, his voice filled with concern.
Jackson, she thought in silent response. Her first love. An unrequited love. But one her heart had never quite gotten over. Even after she had married Will Michaels, a kind, supportive man, the handsome cowboy standing behind her had still maintained a special place in her heart. One of the reasons she had done her best to come home to visit only when she knew Jackson would be away, running stock to the various rodeos. And then after her husband’s death not quite two years before, she had avoided Bent Creek altogether. For her son, who was not dealing well with his grief. She thought that she needed to keep his routine as unchanged and normal as possible. And, if she were being completely honest with herself, it was also because of the feelings she still harbored for Jackson. Feelings she should have been able to put to rest after she’d gotten together with Will, but her stubborn heart had refused to cooperate. Staying away from Bent Creek, away from Jackson, had been the only way she could think of to assuage the guilt she felt.
“Are you okay?”
No, she wasn’t. But it was no less than she deserved. She nodded. “I’m fine.” How much of her conversation, of her son’s resentful words, had Jackson overheard? She couldn’t bear the thought of anyone thinking badly of Lucas. “Just a little family disagreement.”
His large hand fell away, and she found herself wishing it back, needing the comfort that small gesture had provided her. “I’d be happy to have a talk with him if you think that would help matters,” he offered.
Lainie forced herself to turn and face him, but kept her gaze fixed on the front of Jackson’s shirt instead of on the pity she knew she would see in those eyes. When had his shoulders grown so incredibly wide? “Thank you,” she managed, “but no. I need to see to this on my own.” Just as she had been since her husband’s passing.
“Then can I at least help you go look for your son?”
“No,” she said a little more adamantly, shaking her head. She didn’t want Jackson’s help. It had been hard enough turning to her brother as it was. She was Lucas’s mother. She should have been the one to make things right again for her son. “I know where he’ll be.”
“In the fort?” he replied.
Of course Jackson would know about the small, wooden fort her brother had built for Lucas in the woods behind his house, just beyond the edge of the yard. He and Justin knew pretty much everything about each other. But then they were close. Had been since Justin’s first day of school in Bent Creek, after their parents had adopted him and Lainie and brought them to the small, welcoming town to live.
“Yes,” she said with a sigh. The counselor she had taken her son to not quite six months before had told Lainie that there would be times when Lucas would need time and space to grieve and sort through his feelings. She’d given him that, but it hadn’t seemed to make a difference. Her son’s resentment toward her was always simmering close to the surface.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Only if you’re a locksmith,” Lainie muttered.
He chuckled, his chin lifting just enough to free his face from the cocoon his collar had formed around it. The warm sound of it drew her gaze upward until it came to rest on his face, one that had grown even more handsome with age. His chestnut hair was close-cropped under his well-worn cowboy hat, and he wore just a hint of sideburns alongside his clean-shaven face. “It just so happens I can help you out,” he replied with that lone-dimpled grin she had never forgotten as he held up a small brass house key. “Justin called to tell me that he’d forgotten to leave a key under the doormat for guests he had coming to stay with him and asked if I could run the spare he’d given me over to the house.”
Guests? Had her brother avoided telling Jackson that she was the guest he was referring to? Was he unsure his friend would be comfortable with the given task if he knew the whole truth?
“Long-term guests,” Lainie supplied with a troubled frown. “Lucas and I are going to be living with my brother until we can find a place of our own.”
His eyes widened in surprise. “You’re moving home?”
“Moved,” she corrected. “As of today.”
He nodded as if struggling to find a response to the clearly unexpected news. Lainie found herself wondering if the kiss they’d shared all those years ago still lingered in the back of his thoughts as it did in hers. And not in the way a first kiss shared between two people should.
“It’s been hard on Lucas dealing with life in Sacramento since his father’s passing,” she tried to explain without going into detail.
“I can imagine it would be,” Jackson said. Then his expression grew serious. “I never got to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your loss.”
“You sent us a card and those beautiful wind chimes,” she said with a grateful smile.
A frown pulled at his mouth now. “I really am sorry. I should have done more.”
She shook her head. “You thought about us and that meant a lot.” She reached for the key he was still holding in his hand, feeling the chill of the metal through the fingertips of her glove. “Thank you for going to the trouble of running this over to us in this weather.” She glanced past him. “And by horse, at that.”
“I can still ride,” he muttered. “Just not competitively.”
The guilt that filled her at his reminder was almost painful. He’d loved the rodeo and she had taken that from him. “I just meant that you could have driven the key over,” she hurried to explain. “It’s cold out.”
He shrugged, his broad shoulders lifting and dropping beneath his leather coat. “Cold’s never bothered me. And it’s wasn’t any trouble running this over to you. And, Lainie...” he said, their gazes meeting.
“Yes,” she replied, unable to look away, and her heart skittered, just as it used to do when she was a lovesick teenager. That thought brought Lainie immediately back to reality. She was not that same girl. She was a widowed mother of a very lost child, and Jackson was no longer that same boy she had once known. He was a grown man with responsibilities, part of which revolved around the very thing that had kept them apart—the rodeo.
He smiled down at her. “Welcome home.”
“Thank you.” She glanced in the direction Lucas had run off in. “I should go see to my son.” She just prayed he’d had time to calm down enough for them to be able to talk. She hated watching her precious little boy slip so far away from her emotionally. Hopefully, her brother would be able to help bring him back.
“If I can ever do anything...” He let the offer trail off.
“We’ll be fine,” she replied. “But thank you for offering.”
Jackson tipped his hat and then turned to leave.
Lainie watched him go, tears filling her eyes as she took in the change in the confident gait she remembered. That slight hitch to his step made her heart ache. Jackson could have died that day, and she would have had to live with that guilt for the rest of her life, just as she did with her husband’s death.
You take away everything! Even my dad. I hate you! Jackson flinched at the memory of those harshly spoken words. Words that had to have broken Lainie’s heart. Will had died in a car accident. Why would her son blame Lainie for that?
Lainie, he thought to himself as he parked his truck in front of the sheriff’s office, regret filling him. The girl he had cared so much about. The girl whose heart he’d broken. If he had the chance to do it all over again, would he have gone about things differently? He’d asked himself that question more times than he could count over the years, but he remained torn over the answer. Lainie had been his best friend’s little sister, which had made him keep his growing feelings for her to himself. It had seemed like a line he shouldn’t cross. But he had and kissing her at the town’s annual Old West Festival Dance that night had been both eye-opening and life changing.
Jackson stepped down from his truck, closed the door and headed for the nearby building. He let himself inside and made his way to Justin’s office. Shoving open the door, he stepped inside. “You might have told me,” he said, his words tight.
His friend, the town’s sheriff, glanced up from paperwork and then sat back in his chair. “Would you have gone over to my place if I had?” he asked matter-of-factly.
It bothered him that his friend had a point. If he had known that Lainie and her son were the “guests” Justin had been referring to when he’d called to ask his favor, he might very well have sent someone in his place to deliver the key. He hadn’t been prepared to see Lainie again. Had even prepared himself emotionally to never see her again. Truth was, he’d made his choice a long time ago and understood her reasons for making certain their paths never crossed. All he could do was respect her wishes. A part of him was grateful for her determined avoidance of him. It meant she hadn’t had to see him as he was now, after the accident, hobbling about instead of moving with the sure-footed grace he’d once had.
“Your silence speaks volumes,” Justin said, pushing away from his desk to stand. “But you need to get past whatever it was that happened between the two of you before Lainie went off to college, because Lainie’s going to be living here. You will be seeing her, like it or not.”
If only it were that simple. “Nothing happened,” Jackson replied with a frown. Only because he’d stopped it from going anywhere. When Lainie had kissed him that night after they’d stepped outside for some fresh air following a round of heel-kicking dances and then a long, slow dance, he’d been taken by surprise. He should have put an end to things right then and there, but he hadn’t. He’d kissed her back. And when the kiss ended, all the emotions she’d held back for so long spilled out of her. She loved him. Wanted to give up the full-ride academic scholarship she gotten to go to San Diego State University and stay in Bent Creek instead, so she could be with him. Lainie would have traded an opportunity very few were ever blessed with to be his girl. And someday, he knew, she would have resented him for it.
“All I know is that Lainie thought the world revolved around you. To the point I thought that maybe someday...” Justin shook his head. “And then she began dating Will, marrying him right out of college.”
It was when she’d called him with news of her engagement that he’d been taken down emotionally, causing him to lose focus that night during his last ride in the rodeo finals in Vegas, giving Lucky Shamrock the upper hand. The sixteen-hundred-pound bull had put an end to Jackson’s career with one good stomp on Jackson’s leg. In that one day, he lost the girl he’d loved enough to let go, and then his career as a professional bull rider.
“It doesn’t matter now,” Jackson told him. “The past is in the past.”
“That means you and Lainie should be able to mend whatever fences the two of you have that need mending.”
This time Jackson didn’t try to deny what his friend had called him out on. He was just grateful he hadn’t pressed for details. That kiss he’d shared with Lainie all those years ago had meant something to Jackson. More than it should have. “You still should have told me she was coming,” he said with a troubled frown.
Justin settled a hip atop the corner of his desk and folded his arms. “So you could leave town?”
“Why would I do that?” he asked.
“You and I both know that you would have done everything in your power to avoid her, all because of that barely noticeable limp you have, and right now Lainie needs you.”
Barely noticeable? Did his friend truly not realize how his injury had affected him, not only physically but mentally? And Lainie had been the one doing the avoiding. He was so busy mentally defending himself that it took a moment for Justin’s last statement to sink in. Lainie needs you.
Jackson met his friend’s sober gaze. “What are you talking about?”
Justin stood and crossed the room to close his office door. Then he turned to face him. “What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this room. My sister will have my head if Mom and Dad get wind of this. Lainie’s hoping things will change and they’ll never need to know what’s been going on.”
He’d never seen his friend so serious. “It stays here,” Jackson promised with a nod.
Justin returned to his desk, sinking into the chair with a heavy sigh. “Lainie is moving home because she’s emotionally wrung out and needed to get away from Sacramento.”
“Understandable,” he replied, his heart going out to Lainie. “She was widowed at twenty-eight, left to raise a young son all on her own.”
“She wouldn’t have had to handle anything on her own if only she had come home after Will died,” Justin said, a hint of frustration lacing his words.
“Maybe Lainie needed to at least try to handle things on her own,” Jackson pointed out. “Know that she could stand on her own two feet. Whatever her reason may be, it’s safe to say the past couple of years, twenty months to be exact, couldn’t have been easy for her. Or for Lucas, for that matter,” he added, recalling the boy’s angry outburst.
“You know the exact number of months?”
“It happened to Lainie,” Jackson replied.
Justin nodded. “Sort of burns itself into one’s memory, doesn’t it? And you’re right. It hasn’t been easy for her. Granted, Lainie always tried to sound strong whenever we talked on the phone, but I could hear the strain of what she’s been through in her voice, having to cope with such a tragedy on her own. I know when we went out there for Will’s funeral Lucas was angry with God for taking his father. We all talked to him, trying to get him to see that his anger shouldn’t be directed at the Lord, but at the bad choices people sometimes make. Like the teenager who ran that red light that night, causing the accident. Lainie said Lucas had been coming around, but then eight months ago he suddenly began acting out again. Not only at home, but at school and church as well.”
“Sounds like his grief is finally surfacing,” Jackson said, his heart going out to the little boy, who’d lost his father so young, and to Lainie, whose husband had been taken from her so tragically.
“It needs to,” his friend said. “Grief tends to fester when it’s shoved aside. Look at how it affected Garrett.”
Not only had Jackson and his brothers lost a sister, but his older brother had also lost his high school sweetheart. It had taken Hannah, Garrett’s new wife, and her son, Austin, to bring joy fully back into his life.
“I don’t want to even think about Lucas holding in his grief for seventeen years like my brother did,” Jackson said with a frown.
“Lainie hopes their moving back to Bent Creek, where Lucas will also have his grandparents and myself to turn to when things are troubling him, might be what my nephew needs to pull him from this grief-driven anger he’s been experiencing.”
Jackson could tell there were issues going on between Lainie and her son but didn’t know to what extent. “From what I witnessed today, when I took the key over to your sister, Lainie isn’t overreacting where her son is concerned.”
Justin’s brows furrowed. “Why? What did you see?”
“It was more what I overheard. Their voices were raised, at least her son’s was, when I rode up to your porch,” Jackson explained. “Lucas was having a meltdown of sorts and then ran off. Lainie doesn’t know I overheard their exchange of words, and I’d appreciate it if things could stay that way. Sounds like she’s got enough on her plate already without adding embarrassment to all the other emotions she’s dealing with right now.”
“I appreciate that,” his friend said, concern creasing his brow. “I had intended to take the day off and be home waiting for them when they came, but they arrived a couple days ahead of schedule and I am tied up here at work for several more hours.”
An impatient tapping sounded at the office door.
“Excuse me,” Justin said apologetically as he stood and crossed the room to answer it.
“Sheriff,” Mrs. Baxter, the middle-aged receptionist who worked the front desk, said a bit breathlessly, a troubled frown marring her features. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Kathy Culler just called. Todd—that is Deputy Culler—has had an accident.”
“How bad?” Justin pressed, his words pulling Jackson back to the present.
“Bad,” she said fretfully. “Apparently, Deputy Culler fell off his ladder while putting Christmas lights up on their roof and broke his hip. Kathy told me they’d just taken him back for emergency surgery.”
Justin dragged a hand back through his dark brown hair. “The break must have been a serious one.”
She nodded. “Kathy isn’t one to get too overwrought about things, but she was definitely in a panicked state when she called to let us know.”
Jackson said a silent prayer for the injured man, knowing firsthand how hard recovery could be for a badly broken hip. Especially for an older man. Deputy Culler was in his late fifties and had been employed by Bent Creek’s Sheriff’s Department for as long as Jackson could remember. Could probably even have been sheriff somewhere along the way if he hadn’t had such an aversion to all the extra paperwork and responsibility the position demanded, stressors of the job Justin handled with ease.
“I’ll head over to the hospital to sit with her for a while as soon as I finish up here,” Justin told his frazzled secretary. “In the meantime, call Deputy Mitchell and explain the situation. See if there’s any chance he could cut his vacation short to come back and take over Deputy Culler’s shift. Tell him we’ll make it up to him.”
“I doubt he’ll be able to,” she replied, her frown deepening. “He’s on a ship somewhere in Alaska.”
Justin sighed. “I forgot he was going to be seeing Alaska by cruise ship.”
She managed a slight smile. “Probably because his vacations usually include a remote cabin somewhere. Not a fancy hotel on the water. Besides, you’ve got a lot on your mind with your sister and her son coming home to live with you.”
Jackson’s brows knitted together. Justin had told his receptionist about Lainie moving home, but had chosen to keep the news from him? Sure, Jackson had mentioned knowing there were issues between him and Lainie. But it made Jackson wonder exactly what his friend did know. Had Lainie opened up to her brother about the heartbreak Jackson had caused her? About how he had crushed all of her girlhood dreams about true love?
“I could probably reach him through the cruise line’s main office,” Mrs. Baxter suggested. “He could probably catch a flight home from his next stop.”
“No,” Justin said, shaking his head with a sigh. “Deputy Vance and I can split Deputy Culler’s shifts between us.”
“Only two of you doing everything?” she said, growing wide-eyed beneath the rim of her rhinestone-lined cat’s-eye glasses.
“It’ll only be for ten or so days,” he assured her. “Then Deputy Mitchell will be back and can take over his share of the extra workload. In the meantime, I’ll see if we can bring in additional help until we’re back to a full crew.”
She shrugged. “I suppose that’s all we can do for now. Thank the Lord above that Bent Creek is a peace-loving town or we would be in real trouble.”
Justin offered her a reassuring smile. “If that was an issue, I’d just deputize Jackson here to fill in. He’s good with a rope. Could lasso any criminal who dared to step foot in our little town.”
The older woman looked his way and Jackson smiled. “If it ever came down to it, I wouldn’t even wait for him to ask. I’d volunteer.” His gaze slid over to Justin. “Because that’s what friends are for. To help each other out in times of need.” And Justin had been there for him plenty of times over the years. Especially after Lucky Shamrock had sent Jackson to the hospital with a crushed leg and fractured hip. Justin was always checking in on him. He’d driven Jackson to countless physical therapy sessions and had picked Jackson up those times depression threatened to claim him.
“That’s good to know,” the older woman said, sounding a little less harried. Looking to Justin, she said, “I’ll call Kathy and let her know you’ll be stopping by.”
“Thank you,” Justin said, closing the door behind the older woman’s departing form. Then he turned to Jackson. “This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”
“Not so sure Todd had much say-so over the timing,” Jackson pointed out with a small grin, hoping to ease some of his friend’s stress.
“Maybe not, but the fact remains I’m going to be spending most of my time working.”
“In other words, nothing’s changed,” he pointed out. His friend was very committed to the position he’d been appointed to and worked long hours already as it was.
“I had hoped to take a little time off to spend time with Lainie and Lucas, but that won’t be possible now,” Justin said with a heavy sigh.
“I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“Maybe so. But Lainie was counting on me to do things with Lucas his father might have done if he were still here. With Todd out of commission, and Deputy Mitchell away on a lengthy vacation, I’m going to have far less time to spend with my nephew. Intentional or not, I’m letting my sister down when she needs me the most.”
“Maybe your dad can fill in until your schedule frees up a little,” Jackson suggested.
Justin looked to him. “Dad? You do recall that he’s seventy years old now, with arthritis in both knees.”
Jackson nodded. Justin and Lainie’s parents had been in their early-to midforties when they’d adopted the orphaned siblings. His friend had been five at the time and Lainie only two, and they had been loved beyond measure by their adoptive parents—the only parents they had ever really known. “I suppose that would make it difficult to play football with Lucas, or to go on hikes with him through the woods.” And all the things they used to do with their fathers as boys.
“Jackson,” Justin said, meeting his gaze. “You’ve always been like a brother to me. To Lainie as well.”
Not always, Jackson thought, recalling the kiss. Guilt nudged at him. “I feel the same way.”
“Glad to hear it,” his friend replied. “Because we need your help.”
Jackson’s brows arched upward. “My help?” Something told him he didn’t want to hear what the other man had to say.
“I’m not going to be able to be there for my sister and her son right now,” he said, and Jackson could tell it was tearing him apart. “At least, not like I’d planned to be. But I’m hoping they’ll be able to have the next best thing—you.”
Me? he thought, feeling the urge to back himself right out of Justin’s office. The last thing Lainie wanted to do was spend time around him. “Justin, you know I would do anything for you. But how am I supposed to help Lainie with her son?”
“You’re an uncle,” his friend explained. “You’ve had experience with kids.”
“Limited,” he countered.
“More than me,” Justin pointed out, effectively winning the debate.
“Have you forgotten about my bad leg?”
Justin arched a brow. “You can’t be serious.”
He was. But not because it would keep him from doing things with Justin’s nephew. It was having Lainie see him limp around on his damaged leg, knowing he could never be the man she’d once been so determined to give her heart to.
“Look,” his friend said, his tone serious, “if you’re too busy to help me out, or would just prefer not to, just say so. I’ll figure something out. I know you’ve just finished up the rodeo season and you’re probably worn thin.”
True. He was still recovering from spending weeks on end, traveling from state to state with the broncs he and his brothers had contracted out to various rodeos. But this was his best friend asking for his help. More importantly, Lainie needed it, even if he was fairly certain she wouldn’t want it. And Justin had enough on his plate as it was. He shouldn’t have to be worrying about his sister as well.
Shoving his own reservations back, Jackson said with a sigh of resignation, “No need to look elsewhere. I’ll do it.”
Relief swept over the sheriff’s face in the form of a wide smile. “Thanks. I owe you one. My sister’s happiness means the world to me.”
It meant the world to him, too, but Jackson wasn’t so sure Lainie knew that. Probably for the best, he decided, because they could never go back to the way things were before he’d broken her heart.
Chapter Two (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
“Morning,” Lainie said in greeting as her brother, finally coming in from the night shift he’d had to work, stepped into the kitchen. He was a sight for sore eyes after her trip home and a long, restless night, having cried herself to sleep the night before thanks to an emotional journey.
“Sis,” Justin replied with an affectionate grin as he crossed the kitchen to where she stood at the stove frying up some bacon. He gave her a warm, welcoming bear hug and then released her as he took a step back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here with you last night.”
She shrugged. “Life doesn’t always work out the way we plan for it to.” She knew that better than anyone. “Besides, Lucas and I were both spent. We went to bed early. Thank you for keeping me updated though. Sounds like things are more than a little bit crazy at work for you right now.” He’d called her the evening before to explain what had happened and to let her know he wouldn’t be making it home that night. Then he had texted her that morning to let her know he was finally on his way home and couldn’t wait to see her and his nephew.
“To say the least. Deputy Vance and I were trying to get some sort of temporary schedule worked out.”
“I hate the thought of you having driven home after working the night shift,” she said with a frown. “If only I could have helped you.” But she hadn’t driven since the night of the accident that killed Will. Didn’t think she ever would again, which was why she intended to look for a place in town. Lucas would be able to walk to school and she would be able to get to the grocery store, pharmacy, even the doctor, whatever either of them might need.
“I was able to grab an hour or so of shut-eye in my office when Deputy Vance came in to relieve me. After that, I felt rested enough to make the short drive home.”
“That makes me feel a little better,” she told him. “As anxious as I was to see you, I’m glad you stayed and got some much-needed rest before coming home.” She couldn’t bear it if something happened to him, too.
“Some homecoming, huh?” he said with a frown.
“It was probably for the best,” she admitted. “Lucas wasn’t in the best of moods when we got here yesterday.”
Justin settled back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in a casual stance. “Jackson said you and Lucas had words.”
Lainie turned her attention back to the pan of crispy bacon atop the stove, a knot forming in her stomach. Just as she had feared, Jackson had been there long enough to hear at least part of the argument she was having with her son. “I wish you hadn’t sent him here with the key.”
“You’d rather I left you standing outside in the cold?”
She frowned. “No.”
“You told me you wanted to wait until today to surprise Mom and Dad since you arrived early, and because you wanted to give Lucas a chance to settle in after the move. Therefore, my calling them to run over to Bent Creek to bring you their spare key was out of the question. So Jackson was the next-best thing.”
Lainie sighed. “I’m sorry, Justin. I don’t mean to give you a hard time. Especially since you’re doing so much for Lucas and me, allowing us to stay here until we find a place of our own. But things are just...well, they’re awkward between Jackson and myself.” She’d also need to look for a job. While her husband had left them financially secure, she wanted to keep most of that money in the bank for unexpected expenses and for a college fund for her son.
He nodded in understanding. “I’d imagine they would be. You haven’t really seen him or even spoken to him for years. What I don’t understand is why that is.”
Lainie prayed to the Lord for the emotional strength this homecoming was going to require of her. But if it helped her son, she would endure anything that came her way—even her foolish young past where she’d thrown herself, heart included, at Jackson, only to be told he didn’t feel the same way.
“Life changes and so do people,” she explained as she turned to the stove and began plucking the bacon out of the cast-iron frying pan with the tongs. She then placed the crispy strips onto the paper-towel-covered plate she’d put on the counter beside the stove. “Jackson is all about the rodeo,” she went on, praying the hurt she’d tried to keep bottled up where her brother’s best friend was concerned would remain where she’d placed it—buried deep. “And, of course, his family. Just as I’m not the same young girl who left Bent Creek all those years ago. I’ve grown up.” Grown wiser. “The focus in my life is on my family, too, but most especially on my son. And now, more than ever, it needs to stay that way. I can’t afford any distractions.”
“Okay, so if I were to read a little deeper between the lines of that explanation, I think what you’re also saying is that you still haven’t gotten over Jackson,” her brother said, taking Lainie by surprise.
Her head snapped around, her gaze meeting his. “Excuse me?”
Justin grabbed a cup from the kitchen cupboard and poured himself some of the coffee Lainie had made when she’d first awoken that morning. “When you were little,” he said calmly, “you used to adore Jackson, following us around like a pesky shadow. As you got older, I would watch your face light up whenever he came over to visit.”
“He was like my other brother,” she said, realizing as soon as she’d said it that she’d done so a little too defensively. “I was always happy to see you when you came home.”
“Maybe so,” he conceded. “But I never got as many meatballs as you served Jackson with his spaghetti when you helped Mom with dinner. And I might also point out that his garlic bread slices were—”
“All right,” she muttered as she placed the final bacon strip onto the awaiting plate and then turned to face him. “I might have had a small crush on your best friend. But I was young and foolish, and I can guarantee you that I’ll never be that doe-eyed girl again where Jackson Wade is concerned.”
“Never is a very long time,” he pointed out.
“It’s how it has to be.”
“That being the case, do you think you could handle Jackson’s stepping in for me where Lucas is concerned?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I asked Jackson to help you with Lucas until I get this mess at work straightened out.”
“Justin,” she groaned.
“He knows his way around kids,” her brother hastened to explain.
She snorted. “Jackson Wade? The only thing he knows his way around is horses.”
Her brother shook his head. “Not true. He has a niece, who is only a year or so younger than Lucas, and now two nephews, since Autumn recently gave birth, giving Tucker a son.”
“But no children of his own,” she countered.
“Neither do I, but you asked for my help with Lucas.”
“That’s different. And you are every bit as qualified as Jackson is as far as that goes. You have a nephew, too.”
“Lainie,” he said, sounding frustrated, “you know what I mean. However, the point I’m trying to make is that Jackson is a very devoted uncle who puts a good bit of time in with his niece and nephews. And the truth of the matter is that no man is born a father. That sort of thing comes later, with maturity and time. While Jackson and I aren’t anyone’s fathers yet, we are men. We know what it’s like to be a young boy. We know how their minds think, and what activities they like to participate in. Just give Jackson a chance.”
Her brother might be right, but that didn’t change things. She still reacted like a silly, lovestruck teenager whenever Jackson was near. To the point she felt like she was being disloyal to her husband.
“Lucas will be fine until you can spend time with him. I don’t want or need Jackson’s help. But please thank him for offering to do so the next time you see him. Once Christmas break is over, Lucas will be able to start making friends, which should help him settle into his new life here.”
His worried frown deepened. “It’s your decision. But that won’t change the fact that you will be seeing Jackson from time to time.”
She knew that. She couldn’t ask her brother to keep Jackson from stopping by to see him. Nor would she. She would simply have to do her best to work around the situation whenever it occurred. Like go to her room and lose herself in a good book. Or even slip outside for a long walk.
“I’m an adult,” she told him. “I think I can handle crossing paths with Jackson Wade from time to time.” At least, she prayed she could.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. “Because the last thing I want to do is add to the stress you’re under right now.”
“I appreciate your concern,” she told him as she pulled a carton from the fridge. “But I’m a lot stronger than I look. One or two eggs?”
He looked to the stove. “You don’t have to cook for me.”
“I want to.” It made her feel like she was needed. Without Will in her life, and with her son pushing her away, Lainie felt like she was adrift in a churning sea of loneliness. It was her own fault. After the accident, she’d turned all her focus to Lucas, leaving no time for social interaction with the friends she’d made after she and Will had married. “How many eggs would you like? I just finished frying up the bacon right before you got home.”
“Have you eaten?”
She shook her head. “No. But I’m not very hungry.”
“Lainie, you need to eat,” he insisted.
“Fine,” she said, not having the energy to argue. “I’ll have an egg, too.”
“And Lucas?”
“He’s still asleep. Traveling home yesterday took a lot out of him.” As did his determination to fight this move, to fight her, she thought wearily, her heart aching. She turned back to the stove before her brother noticed the tears filling her eyes. While she had come there, praying her brother might be able to help her son, she didn’t want to add to Justin’s stress at that moment. Not with all he had going on at work. She could weather this storm a little longer on her own, just as she had been for the past eight months or so, ever since her son had started acting out with fits of anger. “How many eggs would you like?” she called back over her shoulder.
“Two, please.”
“Over easy with a dash of pepper?”
“I can’t believe you remember that.”
She remembered a lot of things. Some she wished she didn’t. Like the kiss she had given her brother’s best friend at the Old West Festival Dance, one that had every bit of her heart behind it, and then the rejection that had followed. She remembered her determination to forget him, and then her rush to find the kind of love Jackson had denied her.
Will had been the one to give her that love. While he hadn’t taken Jackson’s place completely, it had been enough for her to find happiness with her husband, even have a son with him. She also remembered arguing with him before driving home from the cocktail party his company had given in his honor for landing one of the biggest contracts their firm had ever closed on. She’d been upset with him for partaking in far too many celebratory toasts. And to think she’d appointed herself his designated driver, to make certain they both got home safely, only to be hit by another driver who hadn’t let someone else take him home. She would never forget the jarring impact of the other car slamming into them, followed by pain and fear as the darkness had engulfed her.
“Lainie?” Her brother’s worried voice brought her back to the present. She shoved the painful memories away and forced a smile as she carried the egg carton over to the counter by the stove. “Toast?” she asked as she cracked an egg over the nonstick frying pan she had set out on the burner next to the cast-iron skillet.
“Sounds good,” Justin said. “But I’m fixing it for us.”
She nodded and watched as her brother crossed the kitchen to the pantry. “When do you have to go back to work?”
“This afternoon,” he replied as he returned with a half-eaten loaf of bread. “After I get a few more hours of sleep.”
“Oh,” she replied, her shoulders sagging. She thought they’d have at least a little time to spend together before his next shift. It looked as if her parents were going to have to come to her and Lucas instead.
Her brother stepped over and wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders. “I really am sorry, sis. I know this isn’t working out the way we planned, but everything’s going to be all right. I promise.”
He had always been a man of his word. But it was a promise she wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep. Her life felt like it had unraveled at its seams to the point no amount of sewing would ever be able to repair it. No matter how many prayers she sent heavenward. All she could do was nod her reply.
“You look great by the way,” he said, his tone more uplifting.
Lainie snorted as her gaze met his. Then she poked a finger into his shirt, nudging him away. “I’d appreciate it if you would take a step or two back, so your nose doesn’t poke my eye out when it starts to grow.”
“I’m not lying,” he said with a chuckle. “Considering all you’ve been dealing with, you look good.”
“Well, you don’t,” she countered.
Justin’s dark brows lifted.
“It’s the truth,” she said, managing a small grin. “You look like you just rolled out of bed fully dressed.” Her gaze moved down to his wrinkled uniform and then back up to his face. “And you need a shave.”
Her brother chuckled. “I did just roll out of bed, or off my office sofa to be exact.” He scrubbed a hand down over his jaw. “I was on my way to grab a shower and shave when I heard someone moving about in the kitchen. I figured you’d be sleeping in, too.”
“I couldn’t,” she admitted. “Too much on my mind I suppose.”
His expression sobered. “I hate that you’ve had to deal with everything on your own. Especially over the holidays.”
“It was my choice,” she reminded him, not wanting to think about Christmas being only a couple of weeks away.
The doorbell rang, thankfully taking her brother’s focus off her problems. “Be right back.”
Lainie watched him go and then turned back to the stove. Grabbing the shaker, she sprinkled some salt over the eggs and added a dash of pepper. Then, reaching for the spatula, she flipped them over in the pan.
“Morning,” a husky male voice, not her brother’s, said from the entryway behind her.
Her eyes widened, and her foolish heart immediately sped up. She cast an anxious glance back over her shoulder to find Jackson Wade standing there, cowboy hat held in one hand, looking every bit as uncomfortable as she felt.
“Morning,” she replied.
Justin stepped past him into the kitchen. “Come on in,” he told his friend. “We’re just getting ready to have some breakfast. You hungry?”
“No,” Jackson answered. “I ran into Deputy Vance when I stopped by Abby’s to grab a doughnut and a cup of coffee this morning. He said you’d gone home to catch up on some much-needed sleep.”
Lainie turned to look at the two men. “I could step out of the room if you need to talk to Justin.”
Jackson shook his head. “No need. I just came by to see what time I was supposed to pick you up and take you to your mom and dad’s today.”
“You could have called,” Justin noted. “Saved yourself a trip over here.”
Jackson’s brows drew together. “I don’t have Lainie’s number and I figured you were fast asleep. It wasn’t like I had to go out of my way to swing by here. We are neighbors, you know.”
Lainie was still trying to process Jackson’s reason for being there. “Justin asked you to take Lucas and me to Mom and Dad’s?”
“I did,” her brother said matter-of-factly as he removed the nylon spatula from her hand and then nudged her aside.
Only then did Lainie realize the eggs she’d been making them for breakfast had started to burn, all thanks to their unexpected visitor.
“When I knew I wouldn’t be free to take you to see them,” her brother explained, somewhat apologetically as he slid the crispy-edged eggs out onto the awaiting plates, “I called Jackson to see if he could run you over there.”
“He doesn’t need to do that,” Lainie insisted with a frown, her gaze fixed on Jackson’s handsome face.
“You can’t walk there,” her brother pointed out. “And you need to go see Mom and Dad before they catch wind of your being here ahead of schedule.”
“She could take your truck,” Jackson suggested.
Her brother shook his head. “Lainie doesn’t drive anymore or I would have offered it to her.”
Jackson’s gaze swung back her way, surprise registering on his face. But he didn’t press her with questions. Instead, he said, “It’s a short ride. I’ll drop you off at your parents’ place and then go home. You can give me a call when you’re ready for me to pick you and Lucas up.” He looked even less happy about the situation than she did.
Of course, that shouldn’t surprise her. Jackson had effectively rid himself of her all those years ago. She was quite certain he wasn’t the least bit eager to have her shoved back into his life again. But she wanted to see her parents, enough to go along with her brother’s alternative plan—Jackson included.
“Lainie!” her mother squealed in delight the second she opened the door and saw her daughter standing there. Her gaze dropped down to her grandson, her happiness at seeing him written all over her face. “Lucas! Look how big you’ve gotten since we saw you last!” She bent to capture him in a warm hug.
Lainie waited, fearing her son’s response, because he’d been avoiding any sort of affection where Lainie was concerned. But he reciprocated his grandmother’s warm embrace and then stood smiling while she planted several happy kisses on his cheeks. Lainie felt both relief and hurt.
Her mother leaned in to give Lainie a loving hug as well. “We didn’t expect you home until tomorrow.”
“We got an earlier start than we had planned.” She left out the part where her son had threatened to run away so he wouldn’t have to leave his dad. Lainie had tried to explain to Lucas that his father would be with him anywhere he went, that his soul was no longer with his body where it had been laid to rest, but with the Lord. When he hadn’t seemed accepting of her gentle explanation, she’d decided not to wait to go home to Bent Creek. It hadn’t been cheap to change their flights last minute, but the relief she’d felt when they’d landed in Rock Springs, Wyoming, so close to home and the help she so badly needed, was worth the cost.
“Well, come on in,” her mother said, stepping aside as she motioned them into the one-bedroom, ground floor condo her parents had moved into a little over four years earlier. Her father’s arthritic knees had pained him too much going up and down the stairs in the home Lainie and Justin had been raised in. So her parents had downsized into a much more manageable one-story condo a town over from Bent Creek, selling their house to Justin for far less than they could have gotten for it on the open housing market. But that’s how her parents had always been—striving to make her and Justin’s lives better any way they could.
“Baby girl!” her father said as he joined them in the entryway.
“Dad,” she said, stepping into his welcoming embrace.
Her father turned to Lucas. “And who’s this young man?” He pretended to search beyond her son. “Where’s my baby boy?”
Lucas groaned. “Grandpa.”
Her father’s eyes widened. “Lucas? Is that really you?”
Her mother gave her husband a nudge. “Stop your teasing. We both know we can’t keep him our little boy forever.”
If only that were possible, Lainie thought sadly. Lucas had always adored her. That’s why this change in him was so heartbreaking.
“Afternoon, Jackson,” her father said, glancing past Lainie and her son.
Jackson gave a nod in greeting. “Mr. Dawson.” Then he looked to her mother. “Mrs. Dawson.”
Her mother smiled. “It’s so good to see you.” Her gaze moved beyond him. “Where’s Justin?”
“Home, catching up on his sleep,” Lainie explained. “He worked the night shift last night and has to go back in later this afternoon.”
Disappointment registered on her mother’s face. “That son of mine is always burning the candle at both ends.” She looked to Jackson. “Well, come on in out of that cold.”
“I’m not staying,” he told her. “Just dropping Lainie and Lucas off.”
“Don’t be silly,” the older woman said with a wave of her hand. “There’s no sense in you making two trips out here. Stay and visit.”
He hesitated, looking uncomfortable. “This is family time. You don’t need me around while you’re catching up with your daughter and your grandson.”
“You are family,” her father said with a warm smile.
“That’s right,” Lainie’s mother said. “You are. Now come on inside. It’s cold out.”
Jackson looked to Lainie for help, but if she were to put up any sort of protest it would have her parents asking questions she’d rather not have to answer. So he nodded his consent, swept the cowboy hat from his head and stepped the rest of the way inside, closing the door behind him.
“Lucas, there’s a plate of Christmas cookies on the kitchen table,” her mother said. “Grandma baked them this morning if you’d like to go pick a few out.”
Lucas’s face lit up and then her son raced off in search of the sugary sweets his grandmother had no doubt prepared for his arrival.
“Two cookies!” Lainie hollered after him, knowing full well her son would go for the iced cut-out sugar cookies. They were his favorite. And her mother’s tended to be the size of cereal bowls.
“I thought your brother told me he was off today,” her mother said as she led them into the living room.
“He was supposed to be,” Lainie replied as she removed her coat and draped it over the arm of the sofa.
“Deputy Culler fell off a ladder while putting up Christmas lights and had to be taken to the hospital,” Jackson explained further. “Justin had to cover for him last night.”
Her mother’s hand went to her mouth. “Oh, that poor man,” she groaned in sympathy. “Is he all right?”
“He fractured his hip and had to have emergency surgery,” he explained. “But he’ll be fine.”
“Thank the Lord it wasn’t worse,” her father said. “He could’ve broken his neck.”
Like Will had when the car driven by a very intoxicated teenage boy struck ours. Lainie felt nausea stir in the pit of her stomach.
“Oh, honey,” her dad said, his face blanching as he realized what he’d just said. “I didn’t mean to stir up old—”
“It’s okay, Dad,” she said, hurrying to cut him off. Her son didn’t know any of the details about his father’s passing, other than the fact that she had been behind the wheel when the accident had occurred. And he only knew that because one of his friends at school had overheard his mother talking to another mother about Lucas’s father’s accident. That came after a more recent incident in their community that also involved a teen driving recklessly. Thankfully, the other driver’s quick reactions had allowed him to steer clear of what could have been a truly serious outcome—like it had been with her and Will.
Pulling herself together, as she’d had to do since that night she’d awakened in the hospital to find out her husband hadn’t survived the wreck, she said, “I agree. Deputy Culler was very blessed to have come out of it with only a broken hip. But that means Justin and Deputy Vance are going to be handling all the shifts until he can bring in some backup.” She was shocked to sound so calm when so much guilt and regret was whirling about inside her.
“What about Deputy Mitchell?” her father asked.
“Apparently, Deputy Mitchell is on a cruise in Alaska somewhere.”
“Poor Justin,” her mother said with a worried frown. “He works himself to the bone as it is. And poor Kathy. She’s got to be beside herself with worry. A broken hip will mean a long recovery for Todd. I’ll have to make some soup and corn bread to take over to the Cullers after he gets home. Kathy will no doubt have her hands full taking care of her husband.”
Lainie smiled. So like her mom, always caring about others. “I’m sure they would appreciate that.”
“I think I’ll go peek in on my grandson,” her dad said, getting up from his seat. “Wouldn’t want him to spoil his appetite.”
Her mother laughed as he walked away. “Same goes for you,” she called after him and then turned back to Lainie and Jackson. “Your father is going to be a bad influence on your son, I’m afraid.”
“A little sugar won’t hurt him, I suppose,” Lainie replied with a shrug. She had learned not to sweat the small stuff. She had much bigger stuff in her life to contend with.
“You should know,” her mother said with a smile. “Your father ‘snuck’ you and your brother plenty of sweets when the two of you were growing up.”
“And I loved him for it.” And she loved him for giving her and Justin a place to call home. For making them feel safe and loved. The humor left her eyes. “How’s Dad doing? He’s not moving around as well as he was the last time I saw him.” That had been the previous December, when her parents and Justin had flown to Sacramento the week before Christmas to spend a few days with her and Lucas, because she couldn’t bring herself to come home for the holidays. Guilt at Will’s passing still kept her from wanting to celebrate anything. She’d only done so for her son’s sake, wanting to keep his life as normal as possible.
Her mother gave a wave of her hand. “Don’t go worrying yourself over us. Your father and I are doing fine. Just the aches and pains that come along with getting old.” She leaned forward, placing a hand on Lainie’s knee. “The question is, how are you doing, honey?”
Lainie shot a nervous glance in Jackson’s direction, praying he wouldn’t bring up the argument he’d witnessed between her and her son, and then turned to smile at her mother. “I’m home where all my family and friends are. How could I not be happy?”
“We’re so glad to have you back here with us,” her mother said, tearing up. “It makes me want to move back to Bent Creek.”
“I’m sure Justin would be more than willing to sell the house back to you and Dad. But keep in mind that he loves that place, which means you’ll more than likely be stuck with him living there with the two of you.”
Her mother laughed. “He does love the ranch. So did we. But this condo works best with your father’s physical limitations. Not that I wouldn’t love having both you and your brother and my grandson, living under the same roof as us again.”
“That would be nice,” Lainie concurred. “But as much as I would like to go back to the way things were, I know better. We can’t turn back time. All we can do is move on and accept the fact that nothing stays the same.”
“I beg to differ,” Jackson said, meeting her gaze. “Some things do remain the same.”
Lainie stiffened. As if she didn’t already know where his feelings lay where she was concerned. “Another reason not to look back, but to move on.”
Her mother’s confused gaze shifted back and forth between Lainie and Jackson. “Well,” she said, as if sensing there was more to the conversation than what she was hearing, “one thing that hasn’t changed is the happiness it brings me to have you home for the holidays. And, Jackson, plan on joining us at Justin’s place for Christmas Eve lunch. It’ll be just like old times.” Her brows drew together in worry. “Unless that would interfere with plans you have with your ever-growing family.”
He looked to Lainie, who was mentally begging him to refuse her mother’s invitation, and then nodded. “I’d like that, Mrs. Dawson. What can I bring?”
What could he bring? Lainie looked at Jackson in disbelief. He really intended to come to their holiday gathering?
“Just bring yourself,” her mother said happily. “I’m sure you and Lainie have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Not really,” Lainie countered. “Justin has kept me up-to-date on Jackson and his rodeo company’s pursuits.”
Jackson’s dark brows lifted, as did the corner of his mouth with her pronouncement. Then that Wade dimple worked its way to the surface. “Keeping tabs on me, Lainie?”
Heat crept up her neck. Pushing up from the sofa, Lainie turned to her mom. “I’m going to go check in on Lucas and Dad and make sure they haven’t eaten all your cookies.”
“Be sure to bring one back for Jackson, honey,” her mother called after her. “You know how much he always liked my sugar cookies.”
Far more than he’d ever liked her, Lainie thought with a frown as she hurried away. And she would do well to remember that.
Chapter Three (#u1ef75c4f-0b8e-5820-b241-a6371155e262)
“You cutting out for the day?”
Jackson released his hold on his truck’s door handle and turned to see one of his brothers, Garrett, leaning against the open barn door, concern written across his face. His other brother, Tucker, stood next to him, his mouth drawn in a tight line.
“I’ve got an errand to run.”
“Everything okay?” Tucker asked with a studying glance.
Of course his brothers would pick up on his being a little off his game, despite Jackson’s efforts to go on as he always had. Not an easy task when inside his thoughts were whirling around like crazy, dragging his emotions right along with them.
Sighing, Jackson said, “I’m on my way out to Justin’s place.”
“I think you’ll have better luck finding him in town,” Tucker said. “That man never stops working. Especially now that Deputy Culler is laid up.”
“I’m not going over to his place to see him,” Jackson confessed. “I’m going over to check on Lainie and her son.”
Simultaneously, his brothers’ eyes rounded, making them look like a couple of startled hoot owls.
“Lainie?” Garrett repeated in confusion.
“She’s home?” Tucker said in surprise.
Jackson nodded. “She and her son flew in the day before last.”
“That so?” Garrett said as he peeled off his work gloves, shoving them into the back pocket of his jeans. “You never made any mention of it.”
“I couldn’t,” Jackson replied. “I gave my word to Justin to keep it to myself until Lainie could get out to visit with her parents. She came home sooner than expected and wanted to surprise them, which she did yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” Tucker repeated. “So it’s no longer a secret that she’s home, yet you still kept it to yourself? You know Mom would want to know Lainie’s back. Especially now that it’s for good. They always get together when she comes home.”
Yes, they did find time to meet up when Lainie came home. His mother would always give them the rundown of what was new with Lainie after every visit, since Jackson and his brothers were usually out of town when she came to Bent Creek to see her family. It was him Lainie clearly didn’t want anything to do with, strategically planning her visits around his not being there. Her determination to avoid him because of the hurt he’d caused her was something he prayed he would be able to set to rights—even though he knew there was no chance of anything more than friendship between them. Not only because Lainie had moved on a long time ago, but because he was no longer the man she had been starry-eyed over. He was a has-been rodeo champ with a lame leg. But if she was going to be putting down roots again in Bent Creek with her son, they needed to find some way to coexist without the past coming between them.
“Never mind that,” Tucker said, drawing Jackson from his thoughts. “Are you really going over to Jackson’s to check up on Lainie and her son?”
He nodded.
“To make amends with her?” Garrett pressed.
His brother’s words caught Jackson off guard. “Amends for what?” he heard himself say.
“Maybe it’s time you tell us,” Garrett said. “You and Lainie used to be so close. And then she went off to school and everything changed. It was as if she had shut you out of her life. And she only came home to visit when you weren’t here. And if you were, she deliberately steered clear of you.”
“Garrett’s right,” Tucker said with a nod of agreement. “There was no missing the divide that had fallen between the two of you more than a decade ago. Only we never understood why.”
“What happened between the two of you?” Garrett asked. “Lainie was the sister we all longed to have after losing ours, but she was even closer to you considering all the time you spent over at the Dawsons’ with Justin when we were growing up.”
“She wasn’t like a sister to me,” he countered with a growl of frustration. He’d given up so much when he’d let her go. Something that had only really set in the day she’d called to tell him she was getting married. “At least, not as we grew older.”
His brothers exchanged glances before turning their focus back to Jackson.
“Care to explain?” Garrett said, his request tendered without the usual teasing that went on between the three of them.
Jackson looked down at the thin coating of snow that covered the ground around his booted feet. He’d never lied to his family when directly asked a question and he wasn’t about to start now.
“I don’t know how it happened,” he began honestly, lifting his gaze to meet theirs. “Lainie was Justin’s little sister. But as time went on and we got older, I started noticing her as the pretty, kindhearted young woman she was growing up to be. But I forced myself to think of her as Justin’s baby sister, not as just Lainie. That all changed when she kissed me,” he said, telling them what he hadn’t told anyone, not even his best friend, for all those years.
“Lainie kissed you?” Tucker exclaimed in surprise.
Garrett elbowed him in the ribs. “Let him finish.”
“Sorry,” he apologized. “Go on.”
“It might have started out that way, but then I found myself kissing her back,” Jackson admitted. “It was at the Old West Festival Dance after she graduated from high school. Before she went off to college and I went off to ride the rodeo circuit.”
“And you were such a bad kisser that she’s spent the years since trying to avoid you?” Tucker said, only to receive chastising scowls from both Garrett and Jackson.
Tucker shrugged. “Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. I can tell what happened back then still weighs pretty heavy on your heart.”
“It does,” he said. They had no idea just how heavy. “Lainie wanted to see where things might go between us. Even going so far as to tell me she was willing to turn down her full ride to college in California to remain in Bent Creek near me. Said she would find a job that would allow her to switch up her work schedule to travel to the rodeos I would be competing in.” Jackson’s pained frown deepened. “I couldn’t let her do that, sacrifice all the hard work she had put into getting that academic scholarship for me. So I told her that I only thought of her as a little sister. Nothing more. That the rodeo was where my heart lay. Or something to that effect.”
“Ouch,” Tucker said. “No wonder she has been avoiding you.”
“You did the right thing,” Garrett said with a nod.
Had he? Jackson wondered. Because letting Lainie go had been the biggest regret of his life.
Jackson caught sight of Lainie’s son slipping into the fort at the edge of the tree line as he drove up to Justin’s place. He couldn’t help but wonder if Lucas and his mother had gotten into another argument like the one he’d happened upon the day she’d arrived in Bent Creek. He prayed not. It had hurt his heart to see the emotional divide between the two of them.
He thanked the Lord, as he was sure Lainie had, that her parents hadn’t seemed to notice the rift between mother and son when Jackson had taken them there to visit. But then the Dawsons were overcome with joy to have them both back in Wyoming for good. Lucas had chatted away with his grandparents as if nothing was amiss, had feasted on the cookies his grandmother had baked for him, had even smiled, but every time Lainie had attempted to be a part of her son’s conversation with his grandparents he’d either clammed up or responded with his tiny brows knitted tightly together in an angry scowl.
Shutting off the engine, Jackson stepped down from his truck and made his way around to the back of the house. Sure enough, Lucas was exactly where Jackson had expected him to be, seated inside the fort on the rough-hewn wooden bench that ran along one side of the small space. Leaning back against the rows of treated boards that made up the walls, Lucas sat with his arms crossed, bottom lip trembling, tears spilling from his closed eyes.
Jackson knocked at the entrance where Lucas had left the door partially open in his haste to get inside.
The boy jumped, his head snapping up. “M-Mr. Wade,” he choked out.
Removing his cowboy hat, Jackson ducked and stepped inside. “Seems like I’m not the only one who thought this looked like a good place to slip away to and do some thinking,” he said matter-of-factly as he settled his much-larger frame onto the bench next to Lucas.
“I’m not thinking,” Lainie’s son said with a sniffle.
“No? Because this fort is the kind of place men tend to slip away to when they’ve got things on their mind that need to be sorted out.”
“But I’m not a man,” he countered.
“You’re not too far off from becoming one,” Jackson told him.
Lucas straightened ever so slightly, as if trying to appear the young man Jackson proclaimed him to be.
“Mind if I sit here and do some thinking, too?” Jackson glanced around as if taking in his surroundings. “Seems like a good place to do some.”
The boy shrugged. “I suppose.”
“I’ll just sit here, real quiet-like, while I mull some things over.” Like what he was supposed to do next. Coloring with his niece was one thing. Dealing with a little boy so overwhelmed by grief and anger over the death of his father that he couldn’t contain his emotions was a whole different matter altogether. “Unless you feel the need to talk,” he added as he placed his cowboy hat on the bench beside him and leaned back against the winter-chilled wall, crossing his arms in imitation of the distraught young man beside him.
Silence filled the small, five-by-six fort for several minutes. Jackson had to wonder if the cold was getting to Lucas like it was to him, seeping in through the thick denim of his jeans. It was December, after all.
“I wasn’t crying,” he said defensively. “Because men don’t cry. I was just thinking really hard.”
“Men do cry, son,” he told him. “My father cried when my mom was really sick. My brother Tucker cried when he and his wife had their baby boy.” He’d cried the day Lainie wed, he thought, the pain of it feeling as if it had just happened. No one had seen him do so, of course. It would only have led to questions he’d just as soon not have to answer. Questions like the ones he’d answered before leaving the ranch to go check on Lainie and her son.
“I cried when my dad died.”
“Understandable,” Jackson said quietly.
“And when my mom said we had to move away.” Scuffing the heel of one of his booted feet atop the floorboards, Lucas added with a mutter, “I don’t like it here.”
Jackson took a moment before responding, wanting to gather his thoughts. “No shame in feeling the way you do,” he finally said. “A move is a big thing, saying goodbye to old friends and all. But it also brings new friends into your life. New opportunities. And you might hold off passing judgment on Bent Creek until you’ve had a chance to really see what living here is like.” He prayed both Lucas and Lainie would find the happiness they were seeking here in Bent Creek.
“I want everything to be the way it used to be,” Lucas said, a small sob escaping his lips.
He couldn’t put himself in Lainie’s son’s shoes where the move was concerned. He’d lived his whole life in Bent Creek. But he did know a thing or two about grief. The hurt from losing his little sister still ran deep. He couldn’t even imagine what it felt like to be Lucas’s age and lose a father.
Jackson looked to Lainie’s little boy, who looked so much like his mother, from his dark brown hair to the slight sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of his nose. “Change can be hard,” he admitted. “Sometimes painfully so.” Especially when that change had involved hurting Lainie all those years ago, something she had never forgiven him for. But her happiness had meant the world to him, still did, in fact, and he knew that if she had given up the opportunity for him, Lainie would have come to resent him for it. So he’d done the only thing he could—he’d shut her out emotionally. The hurt he’d seen on her face that night, hurt he’d put there, had nearly broken him. He’d hoped that someday, once she’d finished college, he and Lainie might be at a better place to see where things might go between them. Only Lainie had moved on, finding the love he’d denied her, much to his regret. When she’d called to tell him that she had gotten engaged, it sent his entire life into a complete tailspin. And he had no one to blame but himself for his heart’s loss. “I can tell you this,” he added with a gentle smile. “Your mom wants you to be happy more than anything in the world. That’s why she brought you back to the place she grew up in, where you will have family and new friends.” He glanced up. “And this really cool fort.”
“Lucas!” Lainie’s voice rang out. A second later, the fort’s door squeaked open and she appeared in the undersized doorway. Her reddened eyes told Jackson that, like her son, she’d been crying, too. “Jackson?” she gasped in surprise, an immediate frown pulling at her pink lips.
He stood so abruptly, he struck the top of his head on the low-hanging ceiling—one meant for children, not full-grown men—with a loud thwack. “Lainie,” he replied with a grimace. Looking down into her pretty, tear-streaked face, his heart went out to her. He understood the tension he’d felt between her and her son a little better. Lucas was clearly struggling with being uprooted and he blamed his mother, who was doing what she felt best for him.
Worry pulled at Lainie’s features as her gaze zeroed in on the top of his head. “Jackson,” she said with a fretful groan. “Are you all right?” she asked, her hand lifting as if to see for herself. But then she drew back, letting her hand fall back down to her side.
Something sparked inside of him at that small gesture of concern, even if she had caught herself before acting upon it. It told him that a part of Lainie still cared about him, despite her determination to have him believe otherwise. Jackson rubbed the tender spot on the crown of his head as he hunkered just low enough to avoid any more contact with the wood planks above. “If this skull can take hitting a dirt-packed rodeo arena floor after getting bucked off a couple-thousand-pound bull, a little bump on the noggin isn’t going to do much harm.”
Contrary to the nod she gave him, the sadness in her hazel eyes seemed to deepen. Not that he would have thought that even possible. It was then Jackson realized he’d brought up the one thing that had put a wedge between them all those years ago, at least in her mind—his rodeo career. His heart suddenly felt like it was lodged in his gut. He hadn’t meant to bring up something that would only serve to add to her emotional hurts.
Memories of that evening, of the special dance they’d shared outside in the moonlight and all that had followed, came rushing to the surface of his mind. The choice he’d had to make that night had changed their relationship irrevocably, but he’d done it for Lainie.I love you, she’d said. And then he’d broken her heart. He’d never forget the intense regret that filled him at that moment, or the effort it took not to pull her back into his arms and tell her that he loved her, too. Instead, he’d stood silent, watching as Lainie lifted her chin, and then turned and walked away, out of his life without another word. His brave, sweet Lainie. No, not his
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Kat Brookes
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 23.04.2024
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О книге: A second chance for a first love. Her little family needs healing… Could he be the answer to her Christmas wish? Home for the holidays, widow Lainie Dawson never would have thought to ask old love Jackson Wade to help her troubled child. But when her grieving son forms a bond with the handsome rancher, ignoring Jackson goes from challenging to impossible. He let his first love go once before, but this Christmas, he’ll hold on to Lainie with all his heart.