A Boy's Christmas Wish
Patricia Johns
A lot has changed—and a lot hasn'tFive years ago, Beth Thomas's engagement to Danny Brockwood ended when his secret child was dropped off on his doorstep. Now eight months pregnant—and about to be a single mother herself—Beth is back in her Alberta hometown, where the rugged mechanic is raising his son.She wants to hate Danny; discovering he'd hidden his toddler from her was the reason she left. And now Danny's bought out the beloved corner store that had been in Beth's family for generations. But their still-simmering chemistry isn't all they have in common. Can two single parents win back each other's trust with the help of one determined boy?
A lot has changed—and a lot hasn’t
Five years ago, Beth Thomas’s engagement to Danny Brockwood ended when his secret child was dropped off on his doorstep. Now eight months pregnant—and about to be a single mother herself—Beth is back in her Alberta hometown, where the rugged mechanic is raising his son.
She wants to hate Danny; discovering he’d hidden his toddler from her was the reason she left. And now Danny’s bought out the beloved corner store that had been in Beth’s family for generations. But their still-simmering chemistry isn’t all they have in common. Can two single parents win back each other’s trust with the help of one determined boy?
“You’ll be okay, Beth.”
Danny took a step closer. He looked down at her pale fingers in his hand, and he longed to lift them to his lips. He was supposed to be over her...
“Are we okay?” Beth asked, looking up at him. She was close enough that he could have bent down and caught those pink lips with his.
“You mean, are we friends?” he asked, his voice catching. He missed her so much it hurt.
She’d walked out on him, broken his heart. She’d been wrong, but that didn’t change the way he still yearned for her.
Dear Reader (#u750d6c2b-e25e-5145-b9d4-ed36750f2710),
This book revolves around a little boy named Luke whose heart has been broken. He wants a mom—someone to love him and protect him, to be proud of him. And my heroine is the perfect choice, if only she can sort out her issues with his father.
In my real life, my days revolve around my own little boy, who is about the same age as Luke. One day, I was walking my son’s friends home from school as a favor to their mother, and another friend of mine (a mom of a little girl) saw me heading off with this group of sweet, rambunctious boys. She looked rather panicked on my behalf. The thought of caring for that many boys was intimidating to her. But I have a son, so little boys make sense to me. They can be complicated, but they are so worth the work! When I needed to choose a child for my hero, I knew it had to be a boy, because I just had to share that feeling when a pair of arms wrap around your neck and a little boy says, “I love you, Mom!”
If you enjoyed this book, you may enjoy my other books, too. I have two other Heartwarming releases before this one, but I also write for the Western Romance and Love Inspired lines here at Harlequin. All of my stories are sweet, which means the relationship develops without going beyond a kiss. So you can trust my books, regardless of the line they are published under.
If you’d like to connect with me, you can find me at my website, www.patriciajohnsromance.com (http://www.patriciajohnsromance.com), or on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/PatriciaJohnsAuthor/). I’d love to meet you.
Patricia
A Boy’s Christmas Wish
Patricia Johns
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
PATRICIA JOHNS writes from Alberta, Canada. She has her Hon. BA in English literature and currently writes for Harlequin’s Love Inspired, Western Romance and Heartwarming lines. You can find her at patriciajohnsromance.com (http://www.patriciajohnsromance.com).
To my husband and our little boy.
You’ve had me by the heartstrings from the start. I love you!
Contents
Cover (#u651143e6-50b9-5bb8-9ad4-514f35867413)
Back Cover Text (#uf49fbad7-8b26-5cdb-8852-4ec1720a1b3a)
Introduction (#u2f65eee7-a291-59bf-9780-f6716c9fb082)
Dear Reader (#u294b11b1-7094-54f9-8b57-d603165aee9f)
Title Page (#u05cc91d0-e136-5948-bd43-2c9991ccabed)
About the Author (#u6b096726-365e-5c4f-8442-27094a46916b)
Dedication (#u54590e6e-d89b-58be-8afe-10e55a2bc0ea)
CHAPTER ONE (#ue95f5ae8-2943-5f49-a0cb-da092608c60d)
CHAPTER TWO (#u46be6a39-8a94-5a21-b071-b040caec3259)
CHAPTER THREE (#ue80de5e0-5cac-5c2a-a836-2e420993e419)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u5d5b44bd-b9ec-5afa-a318-c6ce654f7ff5)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u750d6c2b-e25e-5145-b9d4-ed36750f2710)
BETH THOMAS’S FATHER, Rick, didn’t seem terribly concerned that Granny was missing. He looked up from a basket of laundry he’d been halfheartedly folding and shrugged.
“She’s probably wandered off again,” he said. He was a short man with a full head of iron gray hair and bushy black eyebrows, and he was staring down at the laundry as if he’d rather murder it. He was recently divorced from Beth’s stepmom, Linda, and the housework seemed to irritate him more than the divorce settlement. He was a moderately successful literary novelist, and Beth was still waiting for him to inject all this unprocessed emotion into a new manuscript. So far—nada.
“Does she wander off often?” Beth asked.
“From time to time...yes.”
Beth rubbed a hand over her expanding belly, and the baby wriggled inside her. She was eight months pregnant with sore feet, and Granny had been the buffer zone between Beth and her father since she’d arrived home for the holidays.
“Where does Granny go?” Beth pressed.
“The store.”
For the Thomas family, “the store” never referred to the grocery store or the hardware store. Rick raised his eyes to meet her gaze, and she could see the pain there. Before Linda left, Rick had declared bankruptcy, and the corner store that had belonged to the family for three generations had been put up for sale by the bank. So much for second mortgages.
“I’ll go check there,” she said.
“I can do it—” Rick dropped a T-shirt back into the basket. “You should probably put your feet up or something, kiddo.”
Kiddo. She was thirty-two.
“No, I’m fine, Dad. I’m supposed to get exercise anyway. I’ll go see if I can find her.”
Beth wanted out of the house, away from her father’s irritable household chores and the stuffy smells of toast and pine-scented air freshener. She’d come home because she didn’t have much choice. Her city job as a caregiver for an elderly lady had come to an end when the woman moved to a long-term care facility, and Beth was due to give birth within four short weeks. The baby’s father was out of the picture, hence her return home. But her dad’s divorce and bankruptcy meant that her arrival wasn’t terribly convenient for him, and she could feel his frustration. He needed space, and so did she.
Beth headed down the stairs, stepping carefully. She couldn’t see past her belly, and her center of gravity was off now that she was all tummy, but she made it down, shoved her feet into her boots and grabbed her cream woolen coat. It didn’t close properly, but she did up the top few buttons and wrapped a scarf around her neck. It would have to do. The corner store wasn’t far from her dad’s house, and she angled her steps in that direction, keeping her eyes peeled for Granny.
North Fork, Alberta, was a small community on the Canadian prairies with a downtown that consisted of about four crisscrossing streets and a park next to a towering brick church. All winter long, that park had trees decorated for Christmas—an intricate design of twinkling lights that encircled a running track that was flooded to make a skating rink. She’d grown up in this town, learned to skate on that outdoor rink, and she’d even gotten engaged one Christmas in the glow of those Christmas lights to a rugged guy named Danny Brockwood, who’d come to town for a job as a millwright.
But that had been five years ago, and that engagement had ended in heartbreak when she discovered he’d been lying to her the entire time—he had a child that he’d never told her about. So she packed up and went to the city, where she’d hoped for a fresh start. A degree in medieval studies qualified her for absolutely nothing in particular, and she’d gotten a job with a private company caring for the elderly in their homes. Sometimes, when she got home from work and flung herself on her couch, she’d look at the blank TV and wonder how Danny was doing. It was her own bad luck to have fallen in love with the wrong guy.
Beth stopped at an intersection and looked both ways, scanning for the familiar form of a slender old lady in a bright red jacket and clomping winter boots. Alberta was cold and dry this time of year, the snow swirling into banks on the sides of the street—not even needing salt to melt it off the asphalt. The wind blew in powerful gusts, stopped only by the low houses. The prairies had no other wind blocks, just section upon section of frozen farmland, bared to elements. However, for all the arctic winds, the sun shone bright and cheery. Beth had often wondered how people used to endure this kind of cold before electricity and water heaters.
Granny might run off, but apparently, she was with it enough to put on a coat and boots before she did. Perhaps that was why her dad didn’t worry quite so much. Besides, in a town the size of North Fork, everyone knew everyone, and someone was bound to bring her home again. Granny was a fixture around here—the lady from the corner store. What kid didn’t know her? And what adult hadn’t bought tiny paper bags of bulk candy from her in their own childhoods?
The corner store was just ahead, and Beth plodded toward it. It was closed down now, the windows papered over and the neon signs that used to flicker in the windows gone. Her heart constricted at the sight of it. That store had been her home just as much as the house, or the town; it had been her respite from her by-the-book stepmother.
Beth waited for a truck to pass, and she tugged her coat a little closer around her belly. The cold was seeping into her fingers and toes, and while pregnancy had left her generally overheated, a coat she couldn’t zip certainly took care of that. She crossed the road and stopped again, looking in all directions. No sign of Granny.
“Granny!” Shouting in the middle of the road didn’t seem to do much good, either, since the only response was the bark of a dog from a nearby yard.
Beth stopped in front of the store and looked up, her gaze focusing on the For Sale sign. Except it wasn’t for sale anymore...there was a big banner covering it stating Sold.
She sighed. It was to be expected, of course, but it still hurt. Someone had snapped it up, and soon enough that old store would be turned into something else. A Laundromat or a coffee shop. Whatever business ended up there, the Thomas family wouldn’t have the heart to frequent it.
The door was ajar, and Beth gave it a pull. It opened with that familiar jingle of the bell overhead, and she stepped inside. Nothing had changed. The old shelves were still in the same place, except most of the product was gone. There was one shelf that still held various odds and ends that looked fully stocked. She heaved a sigh.
“Hey.”
Beth startled as a man stood up from behind one of those shelves, his hands full of cardboard, and she caught her breath when she recognized him. He was tall and dark, as he always had been, but the last five years had solidified him. He stared at her in equal surprise, and he dropped the cardboard and brushed his hands off, then came around the shelf.
“Danny...” she breathed. “What are you doing here?”
She swallowed hard and tugged at her jacket again, as if by covering her belly she could protect herself from that barrage of emotion.
“What are you doing here?” he countered.
“I was looking for Granny. And I just wanted to stop in and see the old place before it—” She didn’t finish that thought. What was Danny Brockwood doing here? Did he know the new owner or something?
“I haven’t seen her,” he said. “You...um—” His gaze moved down to her belly, then up to her face again. “You look good.”
“Thanks.” She wouldn’t address it. Yes, she was pregnant, but Danny didn’t get explanations. He didn’t deserve them. He could just stand there and wonder.
“How are you doing?” he asked. “I thought you’d have come back to town before this.”
“I was busy.” That’s what people said, wasn’t it? At least people who wanted to save face. “How is your son?”
Danny pulled a hand through his hair, but something in his expression softened in a way she’d never seen before. “He’s eight now. Almost nine. He’s a good kid. Smart as a whip, too.”
Luke was the secret that Danny had kept from Beth until five days before their wedding. Then his ex-girlfriend dropped his toddler son on his doorstep and told him that it was his turn at parenting. That was a big secret to have kept from her. People didn’t have children and then just forget—it had been a willful omission, and if he could hide something that big, what else could he hide? Her faith in her swarthy fiancé’s love had shriveled. This wasn’t about romance anymore; it was about real-life challenges and her ability to take him at his word. But her fears went deeper than that. She’d seen the way he looked at that little boy, and she recognized that they shared a connection she never would. She’d had a stepmother of her own, and she wasn’t keen on taking on that role for herself.
“So, are you married?” Danny asked after a beat of silence.
“No.” She tugged at her coat again. “Single.” She wasn’t going to pretend that things were any different than they were. She was very much on her own in this.
“When are you due?” he asked.
He eyed her in that curious way he used to do when they were younger and dating, and she felt a small part of her resentful heart thaw.
“It’s rude to ask about a pregnancy that hasn’t been confirmed yet, you know,” she said wryly, and Danny cracked a grin.
“Hard to deny that one, Beth.”
“I’m due January fourth,” she said, smoothing a hand over her stomach. “And it’s a girl.”
Danny nodded slowly. “Congratulations. You really do look beautiful.”
Everyone had to say that to a pregnant woman—she knew that. She felt puffy now, and huge.
“So what are you doing here?” Beth asked, glancing around. “I noticed that the store is sold.”
“I bought it.” His gaze didn’t even flicker as he said it. “It was a price I couldn’t refuse.”
Her heart sank. This was adding insult to injury. She’d never fully recovered from calling off their wedding, and now when her family was going through their hardest times since, Danny was the one to swoop in and buy up their heritage?
“You?” She stared at him, aghast. “You bought our store?”
The bell above the door jingled behind her, and Beth turned to see Granny step inside. Her coat was open in the front, and the old lady smiled sweetly when she saw Beth and Danny.
“You two lovebirds,” Granny said with a low laugh. “Don’t block customers now.”
Granny wasn’t completely with them, it would seem. Her mind was firmly fixed in the past. She headed over to the shelf that still held some dusty bags of sunflower seeds and assorted items like windshield scrapers and expired lip balm.
“These prices,” she tutted. “Far too high. Nothing will sell at this price...”
And ironically, Granny might be right. None of that product had ever sold.
* * *
DAN COULDN’T HELP but steal another glance at Beth. She had always been gorgeous, but pregnancy had brought out a glow in her that he’d never seen before. Her golden hair tumbled around her shoulders in glossy curls, and her lips were fuller with the extra weight she carried. Her belly was like a perfect dome out in front of her. She seemed softer, somehow, and more vulnerable. And if the twenty-seven-year-old, trim-waisted Beth had been enough to fire his blood back then, this more mature version of the same woman, rounder and fuller, just about stopped his heart.
Except he knew better than to entertain those thoughts. Beth had dumped him because she couldn’t handle being a stepmother. Obviously, he should have told her about his son sooner, but until Lana had shown up on his doorstep, he hadn’t known that he would ever be allowed into his son’s life. Regardless, Beth had walked out because she didn’t want to be stepmom to his child, which he’d understood back then. He’d lied to her, and if there was one thing Beth could not abide, it was an untruth, and knowing that should have been enough to make him come clean. Except that was a part of his life he hadn’t been proud of—being the deadbeat dad of a kid he’d never met. It wasn’t that he’d been trying to hide anything from her—Lana had made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him when they broke up before he moved to North Fork. He’d tried to contact Lana a few times afterward, and he’d gotten nothing but silence.
“Someone had to buy the place,” Dan said, and Beth’s attention whipped away from her grandmother and back to him. Her eyes glittered.
“You never liked my dad.” He could hear the accusation in her tone. What did she think, that he’d done this as some sort of revenge plot because Rick Thomas hadn’t thought he was good enough for Beth?
“Your dad never liked me,” he retorted. “And this has nothing to do with old tensions. I think we’re pretty much past all that, don’t you?”
Her dad had been right. Dan hadn’t been good enough for Beth. He’d come to North Fork for work—the oil fields about three hours north providing a lot of employment opportunities for large-equipment mechanics. When he’d seen Beth around town, he’d been drawn in by her effortless charm. She came from a respected family—her father being the Rick Thomas of literary fame—and she’d gone to University of Alberta for a degree, something that felt wildly out of reach for a guy like him. He’d never been terribly scholarly. He was a skilled worker and he loved his trade, but she had a way of talking that exposed a world he knew little about—a world with books and theories, history and primary sources. Her dad had written weighty masterpieces that were studied in Canadian literature classes the country over. There were three of them, and a fourth that he’d been working on for the last decade.
Beth sighed. “So what are you going to do with this place?”
“I’m going to open a tool shop,” Dan said. “A lot of guys in the trades have to drive into the city to get their tools, and it’s a waste of fuel and annoying to boot. I want to open a tool shop that carries most of the basics. I’ll order in the specialty tools on demand—”
Beth was staring at him, tears misting her eyes. Shoot. Okay, maybe she hadn’t wanted to hear his business plan, but what did she expect him to do with the place?
“I can’t keep it a corner store,” Dan qualified.
“I know.” She sucked in a breath.
“And the price was shockingly low—”
Beth shot him another pained glance, and he kicked himself. He wasn’t trying to hurt her here, but when the store had come up for sale at that price, the timing had been perfect. He’d been selling tools out of his garage for months, and he was making a pretty good profit. There was a demand for tools in this town, and this could be his first retail space. Lucky for him the bank agreed.
“I’m sorry about your dad,” Dan said, softening his tone. “I know he worked hard to build the business, and losing it all like that is horrible. I feel for him.”
She didn’t answer at first, and then she rubbed a hand over her stomach. “Well, he’s had more than one big shock in the last few months.”
“Linda leaving,” Dan clarified. That divorce had taken North Fork by surprise.
“Oh, no. They planned it out so they could separate ‘amicably.’” She did finger quotes around the last word. “Dad says it was coming for a while. Linda’s nothing if not detail oriented. I was referring to me.”
“The baby,” he confirmed.
“He worries a lot,” she said. “And he’s got a lot going on right now, so the timing could have been better.”
“So how’s your brother?” Dan asked.
“Perfectly successful in Illinois, thanks,” she replied with a wry smile.
Her older brother was a professor at a state college—the bar had been set quite high for the Thomas family. He could sympathize with Beth’s position right now. She’d deserved better than being left on her own for the biggest challenge of her life.
“Don’t know if this is rude to ask, but who’s the dad?”
“None of your business,” she retorted with a cool smile, and Dan laughed.
“You haven’t changed a bit,” he said.
She smiled and rolled her eyes. “You’d be surprised, Danny.”
Danny... He hadn’t been called that in a long time.
“Look.” He cleared his throat. “If you see anything that you want in here...I bought the whole place, contents included. But I don’t need any of it—” He was doing it again, minimizing a lifetime of Thomas family memories in this old place, which wasn’t his intent. “What I mean to say is, if there is anything that you want from the store, it’s yours. I only got the keys today, so I’m looking at everything for the first time, too.”
“Thank you.” She nodded. “There will be things. Like the bell over the door.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He nodded. “Take it.” He glanced up and realized it was high over her head, and in her current state a stepladder would be a bad idea. “Or I can get it down for you.”
He caught her eye, and he felt a swell of sympathy. Things had been hard for the Thomas family lately, and he was just an added insult.
Beth was beautiful and smart, with a sharp sense of humor. He’d always imagined that she’d gone to Edmonton and met some bookish type who would be impressed by her father’s name. Then she’d get married and drive a quality SUV, have some beautiful babies... She was making good on that last one, and for that he was grudgingly glad.
Parenthood had a way of improving a person. It carved them out and deepened them. It took a heart and stretched it farther than a person thought possible. It changed weekend plans from drinks or watching the game into cartoon movies and playing in the snow. Luke’s arrival had been a shock, but he’d changed Dan’s life for the better in every way possible. Dan had always hoped that he’d be a successful business owner here in town, and that when people saw him coming they’d call him “Mr. Brockwood.” Turned out that his deepest satisfaction came from being called “Dad.”
He glanced at his watch. Luke would be out of school soon.
“So how is your grandmother doing?” he asked.
They both instinctively looked over to where Granny was arranging the shelf, wiping dust off the packages with her palm.
“Not so good,” Beth said softly. “She keeps slipping into the past. And apparently, she’s been wandering off a lot.”
“I noticed that,” he agreed. He’d driven her home a couple of times when he’d found her on the street looking confused.
“And she keeps asking about Grandpa.” Beth’s eyes glittered with emotion.
“What do you do?” he asked.
“We tell her that he’s gone out for milk,” Beth said with a shrug. “It sure beats breaking her heart fourteen times a day telling her that he died. So if she ever asks—”
“Yeah, right. Milk...” He nodded.
Everyone loved Beth’s grandmother, whom most people called Granny. She was that sort of lady. And when Beth had agreed to marry him, when a furious Rick had kept encouraging his daughter to think this through a little more, Granny had been happy for them. Dan would never forget that. She’d taken his hand in hers and smiled up into his eyes and said, “Marriage is a blessing, Danny. May you two be brilliantly happy.” For a guy who’d grown up with minimal encouragement, her words had meant the world.
“Granny, we should go,” Beth called. “We need to get back.”
“No, I’d better mind the store,” Granny said with a decisive shake of her head. “It’s too early to close.”
Beth and Dan exchanged a glance.
“Danny will mind the shop, Granny,” Beth said. “Right, Danny?”
“Yeah, of course,” Dan said. “Don’t worry, Granny, I’ll take care of everything.”
Granny brushed her hands off and came back toward them. “Are you sure, Danny?”
“I’m sure,” he said earnestly.
“Do you know how to use the cash register?” she pressed.
“Yes, ma’am. Beth showed me.”
Granny didn’t look convinced, but eventually she smiled. “Well, you are going to be part of the family very soon, aren’t you? I think it’s only right that we trust you with a few responsibilities.”
In Granny’s mind, Dan and Beth were still engaged, he realized, and his throat suddenly felt tight. Of all the days to go back to, those were happy ones. Too happy to last, but happy.
Granny smoothed her hands over her jacket.
“Can I help you zip up?” Beth asked.
“Oh, my...” Granny’s eyes grew large as she focused on Beth’s round belly. “Look at you!”
Granny glanced back at Danny with a look of shock, and he was forced to hide a smile. Yeah, there’d been a time when he’d have loved to take the credit for Beth’s glowing pregnancy, but not now.
“Okay, let’s just go,” Beth said hurriedly.
“The sooner the better on that wedding, my dear,” Granny said pointedly, and Beth shot Danny a look of exasperation.
“Beth, I’m cleaning this place out over the next couple of weeks. Come by and take anything you want,” Dan said.
“Thank you,” Beth said. “I’ll come by tomorrow, if that’s okay.”
“Not a problem. I’ll be here.”
Beth pushed the door open, and she and her grandmother left the store, the soft ding of the bell echoing in the stillness as the door swung shut again.
Beth Thomas was back, and Dan wasn’t sure how he felt about that. All those old memories—all those old feelings—came in a flood. But fatherhood had changed everything for Dan, and there was no going back.
CHAPTER TWO (#u750d6c2b-e25e-5145-b9d4-ed36750f2710)
“DANNY BROCKWOOD?” Rick exploded. “That twit has my store? He never said a thing to me. How fast did that sale go through?”
Granny came inside and unzipped her coat, then proceeded into the middle of the kitchen with her snowy boots still on her feet.
“I’m not sure,” Beth said, peeling off her jacket. “Granny, your boots.”
“Oh...silly me...” Granny came back to the door and bent to take her boots off. She was still physically spry, and while it seemed horrible for Beth to wish such a thing, if Granny would just get a little creaky in the knees or something, she might not make it so far when she wandered off. It was worse when the mind went before the body did, because there was so much more that could go wrong.
“He said the price was too good to refuse, so it looks like Danny had some money in the bank,” Beth said, hanging her coat on a peg. “Millwrights make a good wage.”
“Where is Ralph?” Granny asked as she stepped into her slippers. “Ralph!”
“He’s gone for milk, Granny,” Rick said. “Why don’t you go get settled in the living room? Warm up.”
“Oh...” Granny nodded. “Yes, that’s a good idea.”
They waited until Granny had retreated to her favorite recliner and the footrest popped up. Beth shot her father an apologetic look.
“I thought it would be better if you heard it from me,” she said.
“It would have been better if he’d been man enough to tell me himself,” Rick snapped.
“No, it wouldn’t,” Beth said with a sigh. “You hate everything Danny does. It would have given you a chance to yell at him, that’s it.”
“And that’s too much to ask?” Rick muttered something under his breath. This was a personal loss for Rick—the store he’d helped his father build up. He’d set his last novel in a family-run corner store, just like theirs, and the critics had deemed it “important” and “layered.” They’d said they could feel the “regional heartbeat” in his work.
“Dad, I hate this, too,” she admitted. “Our family used to be respected.”
“We are respected. Hard times don’t change that.”
He had a point, but this wasn’t what any of them had expected. If the town were to place bets on which of them would hit bottom, they’d have all put their money on Danny to slide down into ruin. Not the Thomases. But her father wasn’t the man he used to be since Linda had left, and Beth hadn’t decided if that was a good thing or not. That was ironic, considering how much she’d disliked her stepmother. They’d never gotten along, not that Linda was entirely to blame. Beth hadn’t been easy on her.
“Have you met his son?” Beth asked after a moment.
“You mean Danny’s son?” Rick asked. “Yeah, I’ve seen him around. Luke’s a good kid.”
She nodded. “Funny to think of Danny as a father.”
“Funny to think of my little girl as a mother,” her father retorted. “Some of these things creep up on a person.”
“Har har.” She cast her father an annoyed look. When was he going to stop being scandalized over this? She was due in a month. He’d had time to get used to the idea.
“And speaking of parenthood,” her father said, “we need to talk about getting child support.”
“No.”
“Even Luke’s mother came after Danny to do his part,” Rick said with a shake of his head.
“She wouldn’t let him near the kid before she dumped him on his doorstep,” she countered.
“Fine. Whatever. My point is, babies don’t come into the world by accident. It takes a cooperative act between two people, and it isn’t right for the full financial burden to fall on only one of them.”
“Dad, I’m not going after child support.”
What was she supposed to do, try to track down some random Australian tourist who’d happened to drink in a certain bar in Edmonton one spring night after her boyfriend had dumped her? It wasn’t even a possibility, but this wasn’t a story she could tell her father. She’d kept her mouth shut until now, and she was keeping it that way.
“It’s Collin’s baby, isn’t it?” her father pressed. “I mean, obviously it is. I’m not stupid.”
Collin was the accountant she’d been dating in Edmonton until he’d broken up with her. He was taking a job across the country in the Maritimes, and he didn’t feel their relationship would last long distance. He hadn’t mentioned her going with him, either. But he wasn’t the father.
Her father scrubbed a hand through his gray hair. “Beth, the book royalties have been a trickle at best. I’m not in a position—”
“I know,” she said quietly.
“I told Linda she could have the investments and the car. She was the mind behind the investments anyway. I just wanted to keep my shop and this house. I can always write more books.”
On the surface, it sounded like her father had come out ahead in the settlement, except for the fact that the store had been on the brink of bankruptcy and the house wasn’t worth much in a town this size. If they put it on the market, it would be nearly impossible to sell. No one moved to North Fork. People moved out.
“Dad, I’m not asking for anything.”
“You might not be asking,” he retorted. “But the reality is that kids are expensive. You’re going to have day care, food, diapers. And just wait until this kid starts school! School supplies, school clothes...”
Beth knew all of this, which was why she’d come home. But she was a burden around here. Coming home wasn’t the problem—it was coming home pregnant.
“After the baby is old enough, I’ll go back to work,” Beth said.
“See, this is the thing.” Her father’s voice grew gruff. “I want you have a choice. I don’t want you pushed into a corner.”
“But I don’t have a choice!” she countered.
“You could have more of a choice if you made the father of this baby take some responsibility,” he said.
They could argue this in circles all night, and they’d still never agree, because her dad was convinced that Collin was the father, and if that were so, Collin had a job and a stable income. He could easily pay child support.
“I know you think Collin is the father, but he isn’t.”
“He isn’t.” Her father eyed her critically. “Who is?”
“I’m not telling you that.”
“You have to think of your baby,” he said.
“Do you think I don’t?” Tears misted her eyes. “I think of very little else, Dad!”
In four short weeks, give or take, Beth was going to be the mother of a baby girl, and she’d be responsible for this little person’s well-being for the rest of her life. She could feel her daughter move and stretch inside her, and when she lay in bed at night, she’d play games with her by pressing on her belly and feeling the baby tap back. She’d already named her: Riley Elinor. Elinor since that was Granny’s first name, and Riley because Beth liked it. No other reason than that, and there wasn’t a father to debate with over names.
“Linda would have known how to handle this,” her father said with a sigh.
“Linda was a cold, brittle witch, Dad!”
“Say what you like about her, she was here!” her father snapped. “At least I gave you a stepmother to help with all the girly things I knew nothing about!”
Beth pressed her lips together. This was not the time for this argument. Her father had married Linda about a year after Beth’s mother passed away from cancer. Beth had been twelve, and she’d hated the idea of her father loving another woman from the very start. So, granted, they hadn’t had the smoothest of transitions, but Linda had been a chilly and unsupportive woman. Linda knew what she expected, and she didn’t waver in that: homework done on time, kitchen cleaned nightly, a half hour of TV a night and skirts to the knee. Beth realized that didn’t sound horrible, but there also hadn’t been any softness or understanding. Linda hadn’t liked Beth very much, and she’d never hidden it well.
Beth’s brother, Michael, on the other hand, had been more likable in Linda’s eyes. She’d never been a doting kind of woman, and heaven knew she’d never tried to take their mother’s place. But Michael got off easier on everything, and when he went on to get his PhD and a teaching position, Linda had never been prouder.
“Well, now you don’t have Linda to help you figure it out,” her father snapped. “And I don’t have any answers, either.”
“I’m glad Linda isn’t here for this—” she began, but she stopped when she saw Granny standing in the doorway. The old woman’s eyes filled with angry tears.
“Granny,” Beth said, softening her tone.
“Now listen here, both of you.” Granny’s expression was like lightning. “Beth is pregnant. That’s true. There is no going back and undoing that, but I see no use fighting over it!”
“I know, Mom,” Rick said. “I’m sorry. We’ll keep it down.”
Was Granny back in the present? It was an emotional relief when Granny’s mind cleared for a few minutes.
“And for crying out loud,” Granny added, “she’s getting married in a few months! She’s marrying the father of her child, and while in my day we hid that kind of thing a little more effectively, I don’t see what the big deal is now!”
No, Granny was stuck in the past again, and Beth pulled a hand through her hair.
“I’m going to tell you something, Ricky,” Granny went on. “I was three months pregnant with you when I married your father. We eloped, he and I, because you were on the way! It was a big deal back then, so we fudged our anniversary so you’d never know. But your dad and I have been very happy together. So stop hounding this poor girl and let her get married!”
Beth stared at her grandmother in surprise. In Granny’s day, that would have been quite the scandal. To think, Granny had shared that secret to stand up for her... Except she wasn’t marrying anybody, and Danny had nothing to do with her pregnancy. Still, Granny had meant well.
“I didn’t know that, Mom,” her father said. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Are you going to give her a break already?” Granny pressed.
“Yes, of course.”
Granny reached out and put a hand on Beth’s arm. “You should probably get off your feet, dear.”
Granny headed back into the living room, and Beth met her father’s gaze with a small smile.
“Wow,” Beth said. “I’m not the only scandal around here.”
Her father shook his head. “She’s told me that about four times already. She keeps forgetting.” Her father heaved a sigh. “I’m only looking out for you, Beth. I’m not judging you. I’m doing my best, and I feel like it isn’t enough.”
“I’m a grown woman, Dad,” Beth replied. “I’ll figure it out. You don’t need to worry.”
Except he would worry. She knew that. Under it all, he was still her daddy, and she had come home in the most vulnerable state possible...right when he had nothing left to give.
* * *
DAN STOOD ON a stepladder to unscrew the bell over the top of the door. It tinkled dully against his sleeve as he worked, and when the second screw finally came out of the wall, he pulled the bell free. How long had this been here?
The corner store had been a fixture in this town, and he did feel a little bit bad that he was the one to tear apart a place with so much history, but a corner store couldn’t make money anymore. Especially not with the chain gas stations selling all the same product cheaper. That was why Rick had gone out of business. Dan wasn’t supposed to feel guilty here, and yet somehow he did. Just a little.
He also hadn’t counted on Beth coming back to town... Pregnant Beth. That had been a shock, all right. He’d thought that he’d cleared his heart of her years ago when she’d walked out on him, but seeing her again had proven him wrong. He definitely felt something, even if it was mingled with anger. He knew he’d messed up by not telling her about his son sooner, but in his defense, he’d never met the boy, and Lana seemed to have dropped off the map. Then when Lana showed up with a little boy with big brown eyes, his world had turned upside down, and he’d hoped Beth would stand by him. But she couldn’t—she was betrayed by the surprise, and he was equally betrayed by her abandonment.
Yeah, he’d messed up, but so had she. Marriage was for better or for worse, and they’d been just days from the ceremony, and she’d still walked out. What about their commitment to each other? This was his son, and any woman who couldn’t love Luke, too, didn’t belong with him, much as it hurt. So whatever he still felt for her was tempered by reality.
Dan put the bell down on the front counter and glanced out the window in time to see Beth approaching. He’d told her to come and take what she wanted, and it looked like she wasn’t wasting any time. He paused and watched her pick her way around icy patches. Her breath hung in the air, and as he watched her careful movements, he remembered an image he’d had in his mind a long time ago...back when he’d asked her to marry him, when he’d thought about starting a family with her and what she’d look like pregnant with their baby.
And there she was—fully, richly pregnant. He stepped away from the window so she wouldn’t see him, but his heart was already beating quicker than it was before. Beth had always done this to him, mixed him up and made him yearn for more...
The front door opened, and a whoosh of cold air swept in ahead of Beth. She slammed the door shut behind her and shivered.
“It’s cold out,” she said.
Dan nodded toward a space heater he had humming in the center of the store. “That’ll help.”
She moved over to the heater and pulled off her gloves, then held her hands out.
“I took the bell down for you,” he said, picking it up from the counter and bringing it to her across the room.
Beth took the bell with a wistful smile. “Grandpa hung this.”
“I thought so,” he admitted, then cleared his throat. “Look, my goal is to have everything cleaned out by Christmas. I want to open shop in the new year. I’ll be working pretty quickly to get it all done.”
“Sounds like you’d have to.” She glanced around sadly.
“There are probably more things around here that you’ll want, but it’ll be hard for me to know what’s meaningful and what isn’t.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” she admitted. “What if I...helped?”
“I hate to break it to you, Beth,” he said with a wry smile. “But you’re pregnant and I’m not going to be responsible for you hurting yourself.”
“Then what would you suggest?” she asked.
“You not helping,” he said with a short laugh. “But definitely come by. I mean, you can go through the stuff I’m tearing out and make sure you’ve got everything you want.”
“I won’t be in the way?” she asked.
“Probably will be,” he admitted. “But I’ll survive.”
“All right, then.” She smiled. “Thanks.”
He’d probably live to regret this, but his guilt for taking over a place that meant so much to the Thomases had been piqued. Dealing with Rick’s resentment would have been one thing, but Beth’s arrival back in town had softened him.
For the next hour, Beth sat on a crate and sorted through the last of the product that Rick hadn’t already taken. Dan dismantled a slushie machine and carried it outside piece by piece. On his last trip to the garbage bin out back, he entered the store to find Beth behind the till. She was sorting through some drawers, and she held up a small, triple frame that held three photos—one of Rick, one of a teenage Michael and the other of Beth in her girlhood.
Dan crossed the room and took it from her fingers to look closer. Beth had been pretty then, but the beauty that would develop was still sleeping behind big teeth and crooked bangs.
“That’s you, all right,” he said. “You were a cute kid.”
“I gave this to Linda one year for her birthday,” Beth said, then shook her head. “Dad pressured me into making an effort, so I did. I thought I’d give her something that showed she was part of the family. I gave it to her here, and she didn’t take it with her.”
“She left it in the drawer,” Dan concluded.
Beth nodded. “Dad told me later that it hadn’t sent the message I thought. It was a frame with me, my brother and my dad. Linda wasn’t included.”
“You hated your dad marrying her, didn’t you?” he asked.
Beth sighed. “I wasn’t easy to deal with. I’ll admit that. I didn’t like her from the start because she wasn’t my mother, and my mother had been wonderful. Mom loved us with her whole heart, and no one could eclipse her...”
“But your dad must have been lonely,” Dan said. “Your mom was gone, and he was on his own with you kids.”
She took the frame back from him and looked down at the faces for a moment. “You’re a single dad now, too...”
“And I can appreciate how hard that is,” Dan admitted. “Being a dad—it’s amazing, but it’s lonely. I’d never undo Luke. He’s the best thing in my life, but parenthood can be isolating. You child doesn’t take the place of a partner.”
“I guess I’ll find that out soon enough,” she said.
“Yeah. It’ll be the best ride of your life, hands down.”
“You say your child doesn’t take the place of a partner,” she said. “So you must date, then.” A blush rose in her cheeks. She must have realized how it sounded, and he shot her a teasing grin.
“We’ve done that once, Beth. Probably best if we don’t do it again.”
“I’m not interested in dating you,” she retorted. “I’m asking because I’ll be a single mom very soon, and I can’t imagine trying to juggle dating and a baby.”
“It’s not easy,” he admitted. “And no, I don’t really date. I’m busy with Luke, I’m careful about who he meets, and that doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for a relationship.” Her eyebrows went up, and he shot her a grin. “Didn’t expect that, did you?”
“I’m not used to seeing you as a dad.”
“Ditto.” He smiled faintly, and she looked down at her belly.
“Oh...well, yes. I suppose we’re even there, aren’t we?”
Dan regarded her thoughtfully. He was curious about Rick and Linda—all of North Fork was. They were one of those established couples that everyone expected to bicker good-naturedly until they died. Rick was the quieter one, with his laptop set up on the store counter, and Linda was the go-getter. It had shocked everyone when they announced their intention to separate.
“So what happened between your dad and Linda?” Dan asked. “From the outside, there weren’t any cracks.”
“She left him,” Beth said.
“Really.” Dan sighed. “That’s rough. How come? Another guy?”
“Not that we know of,” Beth replied. “But Linda was always a little frustrated by Dad. She wanted him to be the alpha male, but she didn’t like being countered, either. So no matter what he did, she wasn’t happy.”
“Hmm.” Dan nodded. “She decided to leave and your dad just went along with it?”
That was the weird part. Rick hadn’t gotten soppy or angry—at least not in public. He’d just been the supportive guy he’d always been, as if they were announcing Linda was taking a job, or something. But it had been the end of their marriage.
“Dad was tired,” she replied. “And I don’t know...I mean, I was in the city. Whatever their relationship morphed into, I have no idea. But I do know that when Linda said she was leaving him, he was both sad and kind of relieved. I think he was just...tired.”
“After so many years together,” Dan said. He’d always been curious, at the very least. Not that Rick and Linda had ever been nice to him.
Beth met his gaze. “I’m not going to argue that they should have stayed married.”
Neither would he. “I know Linda was hard on you.”
“Kids need love, Dan. She was big on structure and manners but pretty low on affection. And while I might have been a hard kid to love, I still needed more than she gave.”
Hard to love. Was that how she’d seen herself? And she might have been—he hadn’t known her then, but the thought of her feeling unlovable as fragile preteen who’d just lost her mom was heartbreaking.
“You were a kid, Beth,” he said. “You couldn’t have been that hard to love...”
Beth turned her attention back to the drawer. “Pass me the garbage.”
Dan did as she asked, and she dumped the rest of the contents of the drawer into the trash can, then replaced the drawer.
“Dad never did stand up to her,” Beth went on. “He could have told her that she needed to be kinder. He could have told her to back off and let him have some time alone with me. But Linda was always there, guarding her turf as if I was competition for my dad’s love.”
“I agree there,” Dan said quietly. “He should have stood up for you. You were his daughter, and you were the child. You needed your dad to be your champion.”
Beth smiled. “Thank you. It’s nice to be agreed with on that.”
Dan was the kind of dad who would do just that—stick up for his son. Like Beth said, kids needed love, and if he was ever put into a position to choose between his son and a woman, his son would win. In fact, looking back on it, Beth had done him a favor by walking away. Because even if their wedding had been earlier, Luke would have still ended up on his doorstep, and Dan was glad that he’d never been put into the position to choose between his child and his wife. How had she put it? Danny, asking me to marry you and asking me to be a stepmother to your child are two different proposals! I can’t do this!
He might not have been mature enough back then to make the right choice often enough.
CHAPTER THREE (#u750d6c2b-e25e-5145-b9d4-ed36750f2710)
THAT EVENING AT HOME, Beth stood in the living room, looking at the place in front of the big window where they normally put up the tree. The room was bare of Christmas cheer. She’d been home for several days now, and they still hadn’t gotten around to decorating.
“We need to put the tree up, Dad.”
“I’m not real festive this year, kiddo,” he said.
“All the more reason for us to do it,” Beth replied. “I don’t feel like it, either, but I think we need this.”
“I don’t know...” Her father sighed.
“For me.” Beth caught his eye. “I could use some Christmas cheer.”
He pushed himself up from the couch. “If I drag the tree out, then you’ll have to decorate. Deal?”
Rick pulled the artificial tree out of the basement, and Granny joyfully helped add the family ornaments to it. Rick was quiet, but he put a few baubles on the tree, pausing to look at the more meaningful ones like Baby’s First Christmas or one of the few surviving school craft ornaments Beth or Michael had made years ago.
“Do you remember this one?” He held up a Popsicle-stick Christmas tree.
“Not really. I must have been pretty small,” Beth said with a short laugh.
“Well, I remember it.” He put it on one of the branches. “You came home from kindergarten with globs of glue in your hair, but you’d produced this. It was your masterpiece.”
He’d have to remember for the both of them, but his retelling of the story made Beth smile. Over the years, as the glue broke apart and those school-made ornaments crumbled, Linda would toss them in the trash without a twinge of emotion.
“Linda bought this one,” he said, holding up a custom ornament of a book with the cover of her father’s first release. “I know she was difficult sometimes, Beth, but that woman understood me.”
“Your writing, you mean,” Beth clarified.
“She read every book I wrote about three times each,” he said. “She could quote from them. And she knew what I needed to be productive...” He hung the ornament with a low sigh.
Her mother had respected Rick’s writing, too, but she’d been a little less in awe of his abilities. Mom had kept Dad down-to-earth. Linda had admired him more, Beth had to admit. She’d always encouraged him to write, even if it meant she saw less of him. His writing had been her passion, too.
“Where’s the star?” Beth asked as she got to the bottom of the box of ornaments. She looked around.
“Oh...” Her father scrubbed a hand through his gray hair. “It’s up in the attic of the store.”
“What?” Beth frowned. “Why?”
“I couldn’t fit it in the closet without crushing it, so I tucked it up there. I figured it would last longer.”
And Beth could understand that protective sentiment—it was the same star they’d used on their tree for as long as Beth could remember. Nothing exciting—plastic and tinsel. It probably used up insane amounts of electricity when they plugged it in, but it was tradition, and she was softened to realize that her father had quietly protected that star over the years. It was one thing Linda hadn’t gotten her hands on.
“I’ll get it tomorrow,” Beth promised. “You can still drive me to my doctor’s appointment, right?”
“Sure thing, kiddo,” her father said with a nod.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, the doctor was kind and thorough. Dr. Oduwale was her childhood best friend’s mother, and when she was done examining her, she’d looked her in the eye earnestly and asked, “What do you need, my dear?”
“Nothing,” Beth assured her. “I’m fine. I’ve got Dad, and we’re sorting it all out. How is the baby?”
Dr. Oduwale assured her that all was well and they were simply waiting now. Well, waiting—and pretending she was more confident than she was, Beth thought... So she thanked Dr. Oduwale and tried to smile more brightly than she felt.
“Just keep your stress low and get ready for the baby,” Dr. Oduwale said. “Everything looks great. You’ve got to call Abby. She’s missed you.”
And Beth would call Abby...just not yet. She wasn’t sure how much more brilliant confidence she could pull off without cracking.
As Beth walked to the store later that day, she felt more optimistic—and this time it wasn’t an act. Maybe there had been more going on behind the scenes between her father and Linda than she’d ever noticed. Maybe she wasn’t quite as alone as she’d thought if her father had been guarding something as precious and fragile as a twenty-year-old Christmas star all these years by storing it in the one place Linda would never venture...
Deeper down, Beth saw something uncomfortable to acknowledge—unfair, even. Linda’s Christmases had all been spent around an artificial tree with memories attached to it that predated her. She’d bought some new ornaments every year—mostly representing things that mattered between her and Rick—and she’d put them on the tree in a prominent place. Beth had resented that attempt to insert herself, but then, Beth had resented almost anything her stepmother had done. Seeing her father look at that custom-made ornament of his book, she realized that Linda’s Christmases wouldn’t have been ideal. Beth wasn’t proud of that, especially now. A little bit of charity wouldn’t have killed her.
Beth found the door to the corner store unlocked, and she pulled it open and stepped inside. The warm air was welcome, and she rubbed her gloved hands together. Danny was sweeping out the corners where refrigerators used to stand. His sleeves were rolled up to reveal muscular forearms. He looked up as she came inside.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hey.” A smile crept across his face. “Cold?”
She nodded and pulled off her gloves, setting them on the counter. “It’s not too bad out there, though. Feels warmer than yesterday.” She headed toward the heater and unwound her scarf.
“Yeah, I thought the same thing. There’s no wind today—that’s the difference.”
“Must be...” Like everyone else in this town, they knew how to make small talk about weather. But Beth had more on her mind than the windchill. “Can I ask you something?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“How horrible was I to Linda?”
“When I knew you?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
Danny grimaced. “She had a lot of it coming.”
That was answer enough. “So I was bad.” Even as an adult.
“You reacted,” he said. “Can’t really blame you for that. She pushed your buttons a lot.”
Still, Beth wished she had a little less to regret.
“I think it takes a special sort of person to raise someone else’s kid,” she said with a sigh. “Like a saint. I wasn’t fun when I was a kid. Maybe not even after I was grown.”
“You said you didn’t want to be a stepmother,” Danny said. “When Lana dropped Luke off—”
“It was a shock,” she said. “You’d never breathed a word about him before, and all of a sudden there was a child in the mix. What was I supposed to do?”
“But you told me that being a stepmother was too much for you,” he countered.
Beth sighed. “Being a stepmother is hard, Danny. You aren’t the mom that child remembers, and yet there you are doing the hard work. It is a big thing to ask. Starting a family together is a whole lot different than stepping into a role with a child already there—all set up to hate you.”
“He was three,” Danny said, his voice low. “He wasn’t going to hate you.”
He’d been young, that was true. But Lana had been part of the picture, too. She was that child’s real mom, and she’d be back—at least that’s what Lana told her when Beth talked to her on the phone later. She’d be back. That little boy and his mom complicated everything.
Danny returned to his sweeping. Beth unbuttoned her coat and scanned the ceiling. She spotted the dangling cord attached to the attic trapdoor. It was on the far side of the store, and she headed over there while Dan cleaned.
Beth reached for the cord, but could only swipe it with her fingertips. She’d need something to stand on. She looked around and saw a stepladder. She grabbed it and planted it under the attic door. Beth put her foot on the first rung. Her balance was different these days, and this being a stepladder, she wouldn’t be able to hold on to anything while she climbed. She stepped up another rung and reached up toward the cord.
“What are you doing?” Danny’s voice was suddenly right next to her, and she teetered, her heart flying into her mouth. She felt the stepladder shift under her foot, and as she came down, his strong arms clamped around her. Her breath whooshed out of her lungs, and she was left gasping for breath.
She scrambled to get her feet under her again, and as she did, Danny let go of her, scowling down at her.
“Thanks,” she breathed, trying to catch her breath again. Her heart still hammered in her throat. That had been close.
“I don’t have the insurance to cover a pregnant woman climbing stepladders! What were you doing?”
“The attic trapdoor,” she said, pointing upward feebly. “I wanted to get up there.”
It seemed mildly foolhardy now, but what was she supposed to do?
“You could have asked!” Danny didn’t seem to be calming down at all, and he reached up and pulled down the trapdoor. A ladder unfolded and landed on the tiled floor with a thunk.
“Thank you,” she said with a faint smile. “Much appreciated.”
“So you’re climbing that ladder?” His tone didn’t hide exactly what he thought of that idea, and that baleful glare hadn’t abated, either.
“Danny, I need to get something down from there.” She shook her head. “Instead of yelling at me, maybe you could give me a hand.”
That was about as close to asking as he was going to get. Danny muttered something under his breath, which she should probably be grateful she hadn’t heard. “What are you looking for?” he asked.
“The star for our Christmas tree...and whatever else is up there, I guess.”
Danny started up the ladder, his head quickly disappearing into the attic. He was a tall man, and solid. She’d noticed how the last five years had changed him. He was tougher now, more muscled.
“So have you been this daring your whole pregnancy?” His voice was muffled.
“Yes.” Up until quite recently, she’d been on her own in Edmonton. There hadn’t been much choice. There was more muttering, this time a little less under his breath, and he handed down a small box.
“Is this it?”
She reached up to grab the box and opened it. “Yes, thanks. This is it.”
Danny came back down the ladder. “I’ll bring the rest down later. It looks like some old stashes of cups for the slushie machine, though.”
Danny still looked annoyed.
“Danny, I’m sorry I left like I did. I should have stayed for more closure, I guess. I don’t know what to say.”
She’d ticked him off, that much was clear, and he was silent for a couple of beats.
“Be more careful, Beth,” he said, then pushed the ladder back up into the attic, perhaps to keep her from getting any more ideas about climbing up there. He also scooped up the stepladder. But Beth wasn’t oblivious to the dangers around here. Nor was she ungrateful for his quick catch. If she’d fallen, she could have badly hurt herself, or worse, the baby.
“Danny?”
He turned back, and for a moment he was the old Danny with those soulful eyes and the chiseled jaw.
“Thank you for catching me.”
“Yeah...” He stomped back over to the corner and picked up his broom again. “No problem.”
Her heart was still hammering faster than usual, and if forced, she’d admit that her near fall had scared her worse than she let on. Pregnancy wasn’t easy, and it was harder still to be facing it alone. She rubbed her hand over her stomach.
She didn’t have a husband to humor her or keep her from overexerting herself. She didn’t have that loving, watchful spouse to care if she stretched too far or had a craving for ice cream at ten at night. And while she was a grown woman perfectly capable of caring for herself, she knew that she was more vulnerable right now. But giving in to that vulnerability wouldn’t help anything. She was on her own now, and she’d be on her own after this baby was born. She’d better get used to it.
“I think I’ll head back,” Beth said.
“Beth, I didn’t mean to bark at you.” Danny scrubbed a hand through his hair.
“I know,” she said. “It’s okay.”
“You just scared me. That’s all. Sorry.”
She’d scared him? His angry outburst had been covering fear for her safety?
“It’s okay,” she repeated. “I should probably get out of your way.”
He didn’t answer, which meant that her instinct was right, and he could use his space. Beth turned toward the door. When she glanced back, she found Danny’s brooding gaze fixed on her. He didn’t look away, and she was the one to turn and pull open the door.
“See you,” he said, and she stepped outside and closed the door behind her.
The tables had turned here in North Fork. Linda was gone, and Danny was on top. Beth, as she always had been, was stuck somewhere in the middle... Not family enough for her father, not daughter enough for Linda, and not enough of whatever it would have taken for Danny to come clean and tell her his whole story. Frankly, she was tired of not being enough, and now that she had a little girl on the way, she was determined to be mom enough for one tiny person.
* * *
DAN STOOD IN his kitchen that evening making grilled cheese sandwiches. His house wasn’t large, but it had a garage and a decent yard for Luke to play in. When he bought the place two years ago, it had even come with a trampoline, much to Luke’s delight.
Dan could see the trampoline from the light that spilled into the backyard from his kitchen window, and it was covered in a soft layer of snow. He was hoping it would survive another year, because he couldn’t afford to replace it.
He was still annoyed with Beth, and it had taken him a few hours of brooding in the store before he worked out why. It was because she sparked that protective instinct in him. She needed a bit of special treatment right now, whether she deserved it or not, and he couldn’t provide it. And because she was pregnant, he felt obliged to do something to make things easier for her, even though what he really wanted to do was open up that can of worms with her—she’d walked out on him when he needed her most. She’d betrayed his trust, too! She’d broken his heart and left him floundering with a three-year-old who cried for his mother and to whom Dan was a stranger.
He’d needed her, and what were vows for if they didn’t count in the hard times? She’d been willing to marry him, so what would have happened if Lana had come a couple of weeks later—would she have still walked out? And if not, what made a week before those vows any different? They were supposed to be saying what was in their hearts already—publicly stating an already existing commitment to each other...or so he’d thought. So yeah, she was pregnant and alone, but she’d done wrong by him five years ago, and he couldn’t even address it with her. Only a complete idiot upset a pregnant woman.
A choice between a woman and his son... He knew where he’d land. Luke was his top priority, bar none. But his anger didn’t take away those latent feeling he’d had for Beth, either, and left him feeling mildly guilty. It was more comfortable when things were black-and-white, when he could land easily on one side of the equation.
Dan flipped the grilled cheese and admired the golden top of the sandwich. He was always rather proud of himself when he produced a perfect grilled cheese, and glanced into the living room, where Luke was doing his home reading from school. But Luke’s attention wasn’t on the book. He was staring at a spot on the sofa, his brow creased.
“You okay, buddy?” Dan asked.
“Yeah.” Luke tossed his book aside and ambled into the kitchen. He looked over Dan’s shoulder at the grilled cheese.
“Yours is on the table,” Dan said, and Luke didn’t move.
“Kiera T. is adopted,” Luke said. “Her birth mother visits her on her birthdays.”
“Oh, yeah?” Dan eyed Luke. “You aren’t adopted, you know.”
“I know.” Luke turned toward the table and slid into his spot. “William is adopted, too, but he doesn’t know his birth mom.”
It seemed like the third-grade class at the local elementary school was getting to know each other a little better. Luke had gone to school with these kids since kindergarten.
“That depends on the terms of the adoption,” Dan said. “An open adoption means that it isn’t a complete goodbye.”
“Huh.” Luke picked up his grilled cheese and took a greasy bite. “So what about my mom? How come I don’t know her?”
There it was. Dan’s stomach sank. Luke asked about his mom from time to time, but until now, he’d asked about her in the past tense, like where he was born or how he came to North Fork. Dan pulled his own grilled cheese from the pan and joined his son at the table.
“She brought you to me when she realized she couldn’t take care of you,” Dan said. This was the same story he always told. “And I’m really glad she did. It was the best day of my life.”
That was the only version his son would ever hear, but it had taken a while for him to realize that it was the best day of his life, because he’d been scared, alone, heartbroken when Beth left, and unsure of how his life would work...
“Is she allowed to see me?” Luke asked.
The easy answer was yes, but it came with a whole lot of questions that Dan didn’t know how to answer. He took a bite of his sandwich to give himself time to think.
“Well,” Dan said slowly, “she can. I mean, I wouldn’t keep her away. But I wouldn’t let her take you back, if that’s what you’re worried about. I have legal custody of you, which means that your home is with me.”
“Does she want to take me away?”
Shoot. He’d probably scared the kid now. Dan sighed. “No, of course not.”
And a small and petty part of him hoped that Lana stayed both uninterested and very far away...at least until Luke was older.
“I don’t remember her,” Luke said.
“You were only three when you last saw her,” Dan said. “Little kids forget.”
“What’s she like?” Luke fixed big brown eyes on Dan’s face, waiting.
“When I knew her a long time ago, she was really pretty,” Dan said. “She liked to eat her French fries with honey instead of ketchup.”
“Ew,” Luke said.
“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, buddy,” he chuckled. “It’s pretty good.”
“Do you talk to her sometimes?” Luke asked.
“No.” She’d left contact information, and she updated that by email periodically, but that was it. She was living in Vancouver now. They didn’t chat. She didn’t ask about Luke. Maybe it was too painful for her—he didn’t know.
“What if I wanted to meet her?” Luke asked.
Dan sighed. “It’s not as simple as that.”
“How come?” Luke pressed. “She’s my mom. I’ll bet she wants to see me.”
Dan wished that were true, but if Lana had wanted to see Luke, she’d have done it long ago. And he was wary... While it was good that she’d left contact information, she had never made any overtures, and Dan had two fears: first, that she’d change her mind and try to take Luke back. Just thinking about that left him anxious. Dan couldn’t afford court costs, and if she tried to just drive off with Luke... He pushed the thought back.
The second fear was that she’d show no interest at all in seeing their son, and Luke would be rejected all over again, except this time he’d be old enough to remember it.
Dan and Lana hadn’t been a terribly serious couple when they’d conceived Luke. They’d met at a party and dated on and off for a bit. Dan hadn’t been a mature guy at twenty-six. He’d been working hard and partying harder, and he’d been wondering if he might have a problem with alcohol, considering how much he was consuming... Lana struggled with depression, and he didn’t understand it very well. Neither did she, for that matter, and they’d been fighting a lot. Then she told him she was pregnant. She said she wanted to raise the baby without him, and he was fine with her choice. He was offered a job in Alberta, and he took it.
He wasn’t proud of his willingness to leave Lana with all the responsibilities now, and that was why he refused to bad-mouth Lana to Luke. If Lana had kept Luke, she might have told equally disastrous stories about him—how he’d just walked away and never looked back. He wouldn’t do that to Luke...or to Lana. She was Luke’s mom, and he’d speak about her with respect. Always. Even when he felt most threatened.
“Let me think it over,” Dan said.
Luke was silent for a few moments, munching his grilled cheese, then wiping his greasy fingers on the front of his shirt.
“Use a napkin,” Dan said.
“Don’t have one.” The shirt was dirty now. It was probably high time Luke started learning how to do laundry anyway.
“Am I allowed to talk to her?” Luke asked. “Because Kiera T. can see her birth mom on Facebook, and sometimes her birth mom will comment on pictures of Kiera T. and say that she’s getting really big or something.”
Dan put down his sandwich. “I don’t have your mom on Facebook.”
“But you could search her, right?”
Luke wasn’t going to give this up, Dan could tell. And he understood why it was so important to the boy, but he couldn’t change facts. Evasion wasn’t going to work, either. Luke was old enough to know that trick.
“Right now, you can’t talk to her,” Dan said. “I’m sorry. It’s my job to decide what’s best for you, and tracking down your mom wouldn’t be a good idea. Right now. When you’re older it might be different.”
Luke turned his attention back to his meal. Dan had known this day would come, but somehow, he’d thought he’d be more prepared for it.
Lana could be unpredictable, and that freaked him out. When he’d told Beth about his son and his ex-girlfriend’s demand that he take over with him, Beth had asked to talk to Lana after she’d dropped off Luke. That had seemed very levelheaded of Beth, and perhaps he should have seen what was coming then, but he’d been optimistic. So he’d given Beth Lana’s phone number, and it was only later—when Beth dumped him—that she told him that Lana had promised to be in the middle of their life from that moment on. She wanted her due.
Lana had managed to intimidate Beth rather effectively. But he couldn’t blame Lana, because in some ways she’d been right—the full weight of raising their child shouldn’t have been on her shoulders. Dan had a responsibility, too—both financially and emotionally. Except Beth hadn’t known about that when she agreed to marry him, and when she’d weighed it out in her heart, she decided that the headache Lana promised to be wasn’t worth it.
Lana had never come through on that threat. She’d talked Beth into a corner, and perhaps enjoyed it. Then she’d gone away. Lana wasn’t predictable in the least.
And neither was Beth... He’d honestly believed that they’d get through it all together. He couldn’t have been more wrong. And while Lana had disappeared to Vancouver, Beth had returned. He hadn’t seen that one coming, either.
Seeing Beth again had reminded Dan about how detrimental her stepmother’s rejection had been, and he wouldn’t allow Luke to go through the same thing again with his own mother. The world was a hard place, and Luke was too young to face the ugliness.
CHAPTER FOUR (#u750d6c2b-e25e-5145-b9d4-ed36750f2710)
BETH RUBBED A hand over her belly, feeling that strange, rolling motion of the baby moving inside her. She still wasn’t used to this, but she never got tired of feeling those wriggles. Riley didn’t have much more room in there, and Beth felt every stretch and jab. She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked down at the ripples of the baby’s foot moving across the top of her stomach.
“Hi, you...” Beth said softly. She stood in the kitchen, a mug of herbal tea steaming in front of her on the counter. She was thinking that she’d much rather have a doughnut right about now. Or cake. Chocolate cake. Black forest cake—that was it! The closest she could find to her craving in the cupboards were some crackers and hazelnut spread. It would have to do.
These winter mornings were cold, and the house wasn’t as well insulated as it could have been, so a draft wafted through the room and curled around her legs. Outside a bluebird was at the bird feeder hanging from a tree branch, and a squirrel hung back, seeming to sense it was outgunned by the bigger, meaner bird. It would do well to back off, Beth thought ruefully.
Her cell phone buzzed, and she looked down to see a text from her friend Abby.
Are you busy? Feel up to some company?
Beth smiled and typed back: Not busy. Where are you?
In front of your house.
Beth chuckled and headed through the living room, where Granny sat watching TV. Beth pulled open the front door and poked her head out. A red hatchback was parked in their drive, and Abby got out with a wave.
Abayomi, or Abby as everyone called her, was short and plump with dark skin that glowed with health and hair done in a sleek bob. She was of Nigerian descent—both of her parents were doctors who settled in North Fork when she was a young girl. North Fork, being quite far north in Alberta, suffered from a lack of medical professionals, and when Abby’s family arrived, the entire town was filled with relief to have two full-time doctors setting up right here in town. Abby’s mother was an ob-gyn, and her father had been a surgeon in Nigeria but established himself as a family doctor in Canada.
“Oh. My. Goodness!” Abby’s hand flew to her face, and she slammed her door and headed toward the front steps. “Look at you, girl! I knew about the pregnancy, but I had to see this for myself.”
“In all my glory.” Beth rolled her eyes. “Hurry up and get in here. It’s cold.”
Abby picked up her pace, and after hugs and the removal of boots and her coat, Abby stood back to look at Beth.
“You’re ready to pop!” Abby exclaimed, putting a hand on Beth’s belly. “So how come you didn’t call me when you got back?”
“It’s...” Beth shot her friend an apologetic look. “I’m overwhelmed. There’s a lot on my plate right now, and—”
And Abby was happily married. After Abby’s wedding, their friendship had grown more distanced because Abby was busy with her husband and Beth was, frankly, a little jealous. Abby’s happiness reminded her of the wedding she’d walked away from, so it was easier to focus on friends who didn’t know her history.
Abby squeezed Beth’s hand. “Forgiven. Just don’t repeat it. I’m here for you.”
“Abayomi,” Granny said, pushing herself up from her recliner. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Come over here and give me a hug.”
Abby gave Granny a hug, and after some pleasantries, Granny resettled in front of the TV, and Beth and Abby went into the kitchen to chat.
“So how are you?” Beth asked. “How is married life treating you?”
“The honeymoon is over and we drive each other nuts,” Abby said with a short laugh. “But Clint is worth it.”
“How long did you date, again?” Beth asked. It had been fast, and there hadn’t been a wedding for anyone to attend. Beth had bought her friend a present online and had it shipped. That had been four years ago now, near enough to her own canceled wedding to sting.
“Oh, we were crazy. We dated for six months, then he popped the question and we eloped.” Abby glanced around. “So does this mean that you and Collin are back together, or...”
“No, still very much broken up,” Beth said with a tight smile.
“And he left you pregnant.” Abby shook her head in disgust. “I hope you’re going for a pound of flesh over that. You know that Clint’s a lawyer—”
“No, no. I wasn’t pregnant when we broke up.” Beth licked her lips. “This was...a different mistake.”
“Oh.” Abby paused. “Okay...”
“For once, Abby, I did something spontaneous.” She shot her friend a pleading look. She didn’t need judgment right now. She needed a little sympathy. “The father is some guy from a bar. It only took four drinks and being dumped...and it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”
“No, I get it,” Abby replied. “I always thought Collin was a bit dry. I only saw him those few times, but I didn’t think he was a great match for you. Not a bad guy, just...unimpressive, I guess.”
Beth smiled ruefully. “I think I settled in a lot of ways with Collin. He was good on paper, you know? He was—ironically, he was the kind of guy Linda approved of! But after Danny, I was tired of risk. I just wanted someone stable and safe.” She sighed.
Danny had made her feel things she’d never felt since. No guy could match the way he made her heart pound. He’d been romantic and sweet...but it was more than romantic gestures. It was the way her heart lurched when he looked into her eyes or the butterflies she felt when he held her hand. She’d loved him, but when she found out how much he’d hidden, her confidence had been severely shaken. How could she trust him with the rest of her life if he couldn’t trust her with his personal history?
Besides, she’d seen the way Danny had fallen in love with his boy. As he should—it was only right. But she didn’t share his tenderness—she’d still been in shock! And she’d suddenly seen herself in a role she’d never imagined before: stepmother. She’d be in Linda’s position, taking a back seat to his child...
“Have you seen Danny yet?” Abby asked.
“Yeah, he bought my dad’s store,” she said. “So I’ve been going over there to get some of the things we want to keep for memories.”
“And what did he think about your pregnancy?” Abby asked with a grin. “Because you are adorable. You have to know that. You’re all out front.”
“He yelled at me when I tried to climb a stepladder.” Beth chuckled. Was it wrong to feel a bit satisfied at having gotten a rise out of him? Even if it hadn’t been intentional, and if he’d ended up being right.
“Danny hollered at you?” Abby laughed. “He’s normally so...stoic.”
“Apparently, I can still annoy him like no one else,” Beth replied drily. “I’ve still got that, at least.”
“He’s single right now,” Abby added. “He has Luke, you’re expecting your baby...”
“Abby, he lied to me.” Beth shook her head. “Having a kid is heart-level stuff. He should have told me. If he could hold back his son, what else did he hold back?”
“I know.” Abby sighed. “He was wrong.”
“He was more than wrong,” Beth said. “He wasn’t the man I thought he was.”
Abby nodded. “I get it. I don’t know what I’d have done in the same situation.” She paused. “So, what’s the plan here? Are you back for good?”
“I think so,” Beth replied. “I’ll have to find a job, and I’ll raise my daughter. I don’t have a lot of choice right now.”
A baby changed absolutely everything. Life wasn’t going to be easy, and the reality of her situation had been growing heavier over the last few days.
“Abby, I’m scared.” Beth blinked back tears. “This wasn’t the plan.”
“What you need is to get busy!” Abby said.
“You are the first person to say that,” Beth sighed. “Everyone else tells me to put my feet up.”
“Oh, forget them. I know you.” Abby leaned forward. “Get involved with something. You know what I’m doing right now? I’m volunteering with the North Fork Christmas pageant. We were in it every year when we were kids, remember?”
“I loved it,” Beth said with a smile.
“Well, it takes a lot of people to run. We could use more volunteers.”
“Yeah?” Beth paused, thinking. “I can’t bend or lift very much. I’m not sure how useful I’d be...”
“We’ll give you something to do that involves sitting or standing.” Abby glanced down at Beth’s belly. “Or just sitting. Whatever you want. Just come. It’ll be fun, and you’ll see other people and get out of your head a little bit. It’s Christmas, after all!”
Abby cocked her head, waiting, eyebrows raised.
“Is it at town hall this year?” Beth asked.
“It’s at town hall every year,” Abby said with a roll of her eyes. “Nothing changes in North Fork. You know that.”
“Okay, well...sure. You’re right. I should get out more.”
Abby grinned in satisfaction. “Perfect. Come for the practice tomorrow at six. They’ll put you to work. That’s a promise.”
Beth needed to get out of the house, away from the store that only reminded her of how hard her family had landed. And she needed to wipe her heart free from both Collin and Danny. Neither of them had been good for her, and she knew it.
Besides, Beth had plans to make. She was going to be a mother, and everything would be different. She might not have the right man by her side in this, but she also didn’t have the wrong one. She’d raise her daughter well, and that took some forethought. Danny was in the past, and she certainly wasn’t going to get distracted now.
* * *
DAN SLOWED HIS truck to a crawl. Granny was walking down the sidewalk, her red coat pulled close around her and her chin held high. She marched with determination, not even giving his rumbling motor a glance.
It was cold out there today—as it was every day this time of year. This was northern Canada, after all, and the citizens of North Fork didn’t let the weather stop them from anything. He’d moved here from Vancouver, and the mild weather he’d experienced in that coastal city hadn’t prepared him for the driving cold. Yet over the past almost nine years that he’d spent in Alberta, he’d found himself joining the other locals in their perverse pleasure in treating the coldest days like spring.
Dan pushed the button to lower the passenger-side window, and he slowed down enough to keep pace with her.
“Granny!” he called.
The old woman looked over at him, an arch expression on her face. When she saw Dan, she smiled and paused her steps.
“Oh, hello, Daniel,” she said sweetly. “How are you doing?”
“I’m good,” he said. There was something about Granny Thomas that brought out his manners. “How are you doing?”
“Just fine, thank you, Daniel. Have a good day,” she said, gave him a cordial nod and started walking again.
Dan heaved a sigh. She could be difficult when she was on some personal mission.
“Granny,” he called again. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going—” She stopped, frowned, shook her head. “I don’t remember. It’ll come back to me.”
“Why don’t I give you a ride?” Danny asked. “It’s cold out.”
“It’s not cold,” she said with a bat of her hand. “It’s winter.” As if the two things were separate experiences.
“But Beth said she needed you for something,” he countered.
“Oh...” Granny sighed. “Wedding plans, no doubt. You should be lending her more of a hand, young man.”
She came to the door, and Dan leaned over and pulled the handle to let her in. Granny was spryer than most people knew, and she hopped up into the cab without difficulty.
“Ralph didn’t do much for our wedding,” Granny said as she buckled up. “But those times were different. Men were expected to show up dressed in a suit. That was it. But these days, men are much more involved, Daniel.”
She wasn’t going to let this drop, he could tell. Dan gave her a pained smile. He’d been pretty involved in planning their wedding five years ago. At least he’d thought he’d been. Maybe he was wrong about that.
“And speaking of how times have changed,” Granny went on, “men are in the delivery room now.”
She gave him another meaningful look, and Dan wished he could disappear into his seat. Fetching Granny had been a lot easier before Beth came back, when Granny would sit quietly in the passenger seat and murmur about how Ralph just hated it when she was late.
“Have you considered moving the wedding date up?” Granny asked when Dan hadn’t answered. “I know this is delicate, dear, but I think it would mean a lot to Beth.”
If only Granny remembered that Beth had been the one to dump him. This wasn’t just about him and Beth anymore—Luke was in the mix now. Dan signaled a turn onto the Thomases’ street.
“We should probably talk about that,” he said diplomatically. It seemed easier to play along than to explain things and upset her. She wasn’t his grandmother. “Don’t worry, Granny. Everything will be okay.”
Funny—that’s what he used to tell Luke when he’d cry for his mother. “Don’t worry, Luke. Everything will be okay.” And Luke would cry himself out in his father’s arms. Because Dan couldn’t promise that Lana would come back...ever. All he could promise was that one day it’d be all right. Or close to all right. Sometimes, that just had to do.
Dan pulled into the Thomases’ driveway and got out first to give Granny a hand down. Then he accompanied her to the door. The early-afternoon sunlight sparkled on the snow. Granny opened the front door and went straight in.
Beth stood in the living room, a slightly frantic expression on her face. She wore leggings and a knit turtleneck sweater that was an icy-blue color, bringing out the blue of her eyes as her gaze whipped between Dan and her grandmother. He wasn’t supposed to be staring at her, but he was. She was gorgeous, and an eight-month pregnant belly didn’t change that.
“Granny!” Beth gasped. “I was looking for you. Where were you?”
“I was just—” Granny frowned, shook her head. “I don’t know. I was out, I think. Oh, hello, Daniel.” The old woman turned and smiled at Dan. “That’s right. We were talking about the wedding, weren’t we? Why don’t I leave you two to discuss. I could close my eyes for a few minutes.”
Granny bent to take off her boots. It took a few minutes for her to get out of all her winter wear, and as she quietly worked at it, Dan and Beth exchanged a look. Granny was getting worse—Dan could tell. She was more confused, and this time she’d wandered farther than the store. But his focus right now was on Beth and those fluid blue eyes and the way she cradled her belly with one porcelain hand... Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why couldn’t she have lost some of that sparkle over the last few years? It would have made her return easier for him, made her a little easier to file into the past.
Granny finished hanging her coat and headed for the recliner.
“Could I talk to you?” Dan said, nodding toward the kitchen.
“Yeah, sure.” Beth looked at her grandmother for a moment, then sighed and led the way into the kitchen.
“I had no idea she’d even left!” Beth ran a hand through her hair. “Abby dropped by and Granny was in the living room. We visited for a while, Abby left, and Granny was gone.”
“Granny strikes me as the stealthy sort,” Dan agreed.
“Where was she?” Beth asked.
“On Butternut Street.”
“That far?” Beth heaved a sigh. “We’re going to need to put an alarm on the doors or something.”
“But that’s not all...” Dan wasn’t sure how to say this delicately, so he figured he’d just plow right ahead. “She’s stuck on this idea that you and I are getting married.”
Color rose in Beth’s cheeks. “I’m sorry about that.” She shrugged faintly. “She’s been doing that ever since I got back. I must have sparked something.”
“Have you tried telling her the truth?” he asked.
“I did—when I first got back,” Beth said. “She was frantic, worried about me, obsessed with all the details involved with canceling a wedding... It only made things worse.”
“I was afraid of that,” he admitted. “So what are we supposed to do?”
“Play along?” She met his eyes uncertainly. “I know it’s a lot to ask. It’s the same idea as telling her that Grandpa has gone out for milk. It just seems to comfort her. It lets her stay in a happy place.”
“And our wedding made her happy,” he concluded.
“I never realized how invested she’d been,” Beth said. She smoothed a hand over her stomach, and he followed the movement with his gaze. “I mean, until her dementia got worse. With her mind going into the past like this, we’re getting to see how she felt about things...about people.”
“About me?” Dan said, smiling wanly.
“I suppose.” Beth laughed softly. “So what do you think? Are you willing to play along when Granny’s with us?”
Dan sighed. He didn’t want to, but he doubted Beth wanted this, either. It was reliving a painful time in his own life to comfort Granny during this confusing time in hers. But Beth was right. If they simply told her the truth, it would only upset her. It would be cruel to do that repeatedly.
“I could try,” he agreed.
“So could I.” Beth sighed. “I do appreciate it. I know it’s a lot to ask.”
Dan shook his head. “It’s a weird situation.”
Beth turned away from him and opened a cupboard. She stretched to reach something, but her belly wouldn’t let her close enough.
“What are you trying to get?” he asked.
“Hazelnut spread,” she said, giving up. “I’m craving black forest cake like you wouldn’t believe.”
Dan shot her a quizzical look, and she shrugged. “Trust me, it connects.”
Dan passed her the hazelnut spread and could see her visibly relax at the sight of it.
“Pregnancy craving?” he asked.
“Cookies and cakes and carbs,” she said, unscrewing the cap. “Those seem to be my cravings, and this morning I realized that the one thing to complete me heart and soul would be black forest cake. Since I don’t have that, I’m making do. You want some?”
He shook his head. He didn’t know about this stage of things—he’d been long gone by the time Lana had been showing, and seeing Beth now brought back all those regrets. Beth smeared some spread onto a cracker and popped it into her mouth.
“So...” He cleared his throat. “Do you need me to do a bakery run or something? How urgent is this?”
Beth smiled. “I’m good. No worries. A few carrot sticks wouldn’t kill me, either.”
She dipped a spoon into the hazelnut spread and brought it up domed in chocolate goo. She began nibbling around the side of the spoon. So much for carrot sticks—not that he blamed her.
“How have things been around here?” Dan asked.
“With my dad, you mean?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Was it wrong of him to care? He’d been willing to join their family five years ago, and that had to count for something.
“Dad is kind of depressed,” Beth said. “As you’d expect.”
“Is he writing?” he asked. Rick had always been plugging away on something. His books took a couple of years to finish, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t constantly working.
“No.” She sighed. “I haven’t seen him write a word since I got back. Instead of facing everything at once, he’s tackling the problems he thinks he can fix. Like child support.”
“The father isn’t paying?” Dan frowned. “What kind of guy were you with, Beth?”
He still felt protective of her, whether he had the right to or not. At the very least, he’d expected that Beth’s guy would be head and shoulders above the likes of him, but if he wasn’t even supporting his child... At least Dan had done the right thing eventually. Maybe this guy would, too.
Beth sipped some chocolate hazelnut off the spoon, then licked her lips. “What kind of guy? The wrong one.”
“It isn’t that complicated to get child support,” Dan said. “I could show you the government websites that get the process started—”
“No.” Her tone was decided, and he stopped. “Does Lana pay you support?”
“No.” He cleared his throat. “I’m fine. I can take care of Luke on my own. Besides, Lana is in a rough spot—has been for years.” He paused. Her expression had changed. “What?”
“You told me about Lana,” she said. “You’d always said that you two weren’t that serious.”
“And we weren’t.”
“But a child together?” She raised her eyebrows. “I don’t care if that pregnancy was planned or not, that makes things a whole lot more serious.”
Dan sighed. “You have a point, but emotionally—”
“Emotionally?” Her eyes snapped fire. “That’s semantics, Danny! I told you everything about my past, my hang-ups, my feelings, my hopes for the future. I was an open book with you. But you—” she looked around as if searching for the word “—weren’t.”
“The last I had seen Lana, she’d told me she had taken a pregnancy test, and she was done with me,” he said. “She never even told me when he was born. She told me about six months later, and she reiterated that she didn’t want me in the picture. It didn’t exactly feel real.” It was a stupid thing to say to a pregnant woman, and he knew it. “I was wrong, okay?”
“Yes, you were.” She nodded. “But you know what hurts the most? You didn’t trust me enough to tell me. You were a dad. There was a little person out there with your DNA. You had to feel something.”
“Of course I felt something!” Dan erupted. “And a whole lot of what I felt was shame!”
Beth didn’t answer, but the fire in her eyes dwindled, and she dropped her gaze.
“I walked away from my child, Beth.” His voice wavered. “I hated myself for that. Forgive me for not wanting you to hate me, too.”
They stared at each other for a couple of beats. These were old hurts, ones he’d thought he’d dealt with, but standing here with Beth, it all felt raw. She’d wanted him to share his feelings—but she came from a rather privileged position. She came from a well-respected family who struggled with their own issues, granted, but would she have understood what his life had been like in Vancouver? How empty he felt? How stupid he felt for getting involved with a woman he knew he had no future with?
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