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Runaway Amish Bride
Leigh Bale
His Amish bride arrives…but he never proposed!Widower Jakob Fisher isn’t interested in remarrying, even to pretty Abigail Miller. But thanks to his daed’s meddling, Abby’s sitting in his Colorado farmhouse, expecting to be wed.While Jakob can’t offer marriage, he can give Abby a job caring for his young children. But when he starts to fall for her, could Abby make Jakob’s familye happy and whole once again?


His Amish bride arrives…but he never proposed!
Surprises await in Colorado Amish Courtships
Widower Jakob Fisher isn’t interested in remarrying, even to pretty Abigail Miller. But thanks to his daed’s meddling, Abby’s sitting in his Colorado farmhouse, expecting to be wed. While Jakob can’t offer marriage, he can give Abby a job caring for his young children. But when he starts to fall for her, could Abby make Jakob’s familye happy and whole once again?
LEIGH BALE is a Publishers Weekly bestselling author. She is the winner of the prestigious Golden Heart® Award and is a finalist for the Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence and the Booksellers’ Best Award. The daughter of a retired US forest ranger, she holds a BA in history. Married in 1981 to the love of her life, Leigh and her professor husband have two children and two grandkids. You can reach her at leighbale.com (http://www.leighbale.com).
Also By Leigh Bale (#ulink_b5762c8b-cd2b-5404-be4a-995612a249ec)
Love Inspired
Colorado Amish Courtships
Runaway Amish Bride
Men of Wildfire
Her Firefighter Hero
Wildfire Sweethearts
Reunited by a Secret Child
The Road to Forgiveness
The Forest Ranger’s Promise
The Forest Ranger’s Husband
The Forest Ranger’s Child
Falling for the Forest Ranger
Healing the Forest Ranger
The Forest Ranger’s Return
The Forest Ranger’s Christmas
The Forest Ranger’s Rescue
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Runaway Amish Bride
Leigh Bale


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08590-8
RUNAWAY AMISH BRIDE
© 2018 Lora Lee Bale
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
“I may never marry at all,” Abby said, her voice sounding noncommittal.
Jakob jerked his head up, blinking at her in surprise. Not marry? Ever? The idea was alien to him.
“You should marry. It is what Gott would want.”
“I know you really believe that. I’m not so sure anymore.”
Hmm, he didn’t like the sound of that. And yet, how could he fault Abby when he was shunning marriage for himself?
“Of course you will marry one day,” he said.
She smiled and Jakob felt a new awareness sweep over him. Abby wasn’t just a girl from his past. She was now a beautiful woman. He hurried to his feet and moved away. He couldn’t face the disloyalty he felt toward his late wife. Never once had he been tempted by another woman.
Until now.
He was definitely attracted to her, but that wasn’t enough. After everything Abby had been through, she deserved for someone to adore her.
But that someone couldn’t be him.
Dear Reader (#u57dc654d-ed21-5405-bc89-f46be33f426a),
Have you ever been abused, either verbally or physically? I’m guessing the answer is yes. We each have experienced abuse to some degree. Likewise, I believe we each are guilty of abusing others, whether by a harsh word or unkind treatment. But in this story, Abby’s situation is quite serious. As a child and then a young woman, she didn’t just suffer hurt feelings, but rather, she experienced daily severe abuse that scarred her both mentally and physically.
When someone has been the victim of long-term abuse, it becomes difficult for them to trust others. It can break their heart and spirit and lead to low self-esteem. I hope if you or someone you know is in this predicament, you will reach out for help, both from the Lord and also someone in a position of authority who can assist you in changing the situation. And if you are an abuser, please recognize that you need help, too.
God wants us to be happy. He wants us to reach our full potential and serve others with works of goodness. We cannot serve Him if we are in an abusive situation. Remember that you are a child of God. He loves you and you are of infinite worth.
I hope you enjoyed reading this story, and I invite you to visit my website at www.LeighBale.com (http://www.LeighBale.com) to learn more about my books.
May you find peace in the Lord’s words!
Leigh Bale
…See that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently.
—1 Peter 1:22
Contents
Cover (#u7155cfb3-b84b-5c95-b422-3ff39fbd855b)
Back Cover Text (#u7c0a14a6-3a57-57cd-b266-c58ba78276a0)
About the Author (#u800283dd-bb75-534f-a990-673b40fcee22)
Booklist (#ulink_6c9cacbc-cb74-536c-9ca6-c6123f503ede)
Title Page (#u0ec8c0ff-39cc-5166-9e8e-87e845a49283)
Copyright (#ua4d21440-712f-5ca0-b96f-81ff8a104c5f)
Introduction (#ud85af3e3-afec-5b8f-9b0e-3ab5fc6b175f)
Dear Reader (#u1f692f0d-4184-561f-8a4f-3e6d401d0389)
Bible Verse (#u364202d9-cc0b-5f0f-80d0-ce2eab0e767d)
Chapter One (#u19aa1d69-6ee1-575d-a854-a8cd5a7e5a85)
Chapter Two (#u65c9f6cf-4f8b-5844-bc12-f6bf14114170)
Chapter Three (#uba481f32-1e19-53dd-8fef-97fd74059b0c)
Chapter Four (#u0d1f2791-a460-5569-b72f-450f51b866b9)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u57dc654d-ed21-5405-bc89-f46be33f426a)
Abigail Miller sat primly on the edge of a tall-backed chair and stared at Jakob Fisher, his long fingers clenched around the letters Abby had given him.
He paced the length of the spacious living room in his home, his blue chambray shirt stretched taut across his overly broad shoulders and muscular arms. Even his black suspenders looked tight against his solid back. He had just arrived from working in the fields, and his plain trousers and black boots had dust on them. His dark hair was slightly damp and curled against the nape of his neck, confirming that the April weather was unseasonably warm. His straw hat sat on a table where he’d carelessly tossed it twenty minutes earlier. His high forehead furrowed as he scowled at his mother.
“I can’t believe you told this woman I would marry her,” he muttered.
Naomi Fisher met her son’s gaze. She sat beside Bishop Yoder on the sofa, her hands in her lap. The friction in the room was palpable. Abby couldn’t help wishing she had never come to Colorado. Even the abuse she had suffered back home in Ohio at the hands of her father and elder brother was preferable to this humiliating scene.
“I didn’t make the offer, mein sohn. As you can see from his letters, your father did this, just before he died.” Naomi spoke in a quiet, matter-of-fact voice, her expression calm but resolute.
Jakob handed the letters back to Abby. Several pages escaped her grasp and drifted to the floor. She bent over to gather them up, then placed them neatly inside her purse. They were like a shameful reminder that she’d done something wrong, but she hadn’t. She’d merely agreed to what she thought was a marriage proposal.
“Did you know what Daed had done?” Jakob asked.
“Ne, I didn’t know anything about it. Not until today. I just thought Abby was coming to Colorado to visit us,” Naomi said.
The bishop cleared his voice. “Your vadder told me of his plans, although he led me to believe that you had agreed to the offer of marriage. I thought it was all arranged. I’m sorry that I didn’t speak with you about it before now.”
Jakob stopped dead and stared at the man. “Ne, I knew nothing. Why didn’t Daed tell me about it? I never would have agreed to such a scheme.”
Abby flinched at the irritation in his voice. She felt devious, as though she had plotted behind Jakob’s back. She shifted her weight, wishing she could disappear. Wishing she were anywhere but here. She had arrived by bus only two hours earlier. Naomi, Bishop Yoder and his wife, Sarah, had been at the station to meet her. After traveling for twenty-six hours, Abby was hungry, exhausted and relieved to see a friendly face. She’d climbed into the back of the bishop’s buggy and he had driven her here, to the Fishers’ farm just nine miles outside town. She thought she was coming here to marry Jakob, the only man she’d ever trusted. Now, she realized she’d made a huge mistake.
“I’m already married. Susan is my wife,” Jakob said, his voice sounding hoarse with emotion.
Abby jerked her head up at this information. Jakob had a wife? When had that happened? Obviously, Jakob hadn’t known about his father’s offer until this morning. Even among the Amish, an arranged marriage was considered old-fashioned. But Abby had suffered a lifetime of abuse at the hands of her father and elder brother, Simon. Desperate to escape, she had agreed to come to Colorado. Naomi had been childhood friends with her mother. Fourth cousins, to be exact. Abby had been a girl when they’d left Ohio, but she still remembered them.
Naomi lifted her head, her eyes shimmering with moisture. “Susan is gone, but your children still need a mamm. Perhaps that is why your vadder contacted Abby and told her to come here.”
“My children have you to mother them. They don’t need anyone else. And it wasn’t Daed’s place to find me a wife,” Jakob said.
Naomi nodded. “You are right, of course. But Reuben is so angry all the time. He’s becoming uncontrollable. Yesterday, his schoolteacher told me he put a frog in her desk drawer. It jumped out and nearly scared her to death. And he’s constantly teasing Ruby and making her cry.”
Abby listened intently. He had children, too! Reuben and Ruby. Those must be their names. And knowing that Reuben was picking on Ruby made Abby’s defenses go up like a kite flying high. She couldn’t help feeling instantly protective of the girl.
Jakob released a heavy sigh of frustration. “I will speak with him again.”
“That’s just it. He won’t listen. He needs a mamm. So does Ruby. They need a complete familye,” Naomi said.
Sitting next to the bishop wearing a black traveling bonnet, Sarah Yoder nodded her agreement.
A sick feeling settled in Abby’s stomach. She hadn’t known any of this information. That Jakob had been married before and had two children. That was more than she’d bargained for.
“I didn’t know.” She spoke in a quiet voice, needing to understand exactly what she was getting herself into. At his father’s urging, she had agreed to marry Jakob, not become an instant mother.
Jakob turned, his eyes widening, as if he’d forgotten she was here. “What didn’t you know?”
She swallowed, gathering her courage. “That you were married before and have kinder.”
“Ach, it’s true.” He looked away, his gestures filled with impatience.
A dark, heavy silence followed.
“Jakob is a widower. Susan died in childbirth sixteen months ago,” Naomi explained in a gentle tone.
Oh, dear. Jakob’s father had neglected to mention that in his letters. Abby couldn’t help wondering what the man had been playing at. Had he hoped to get her here and then convince her to become a stepmother to Jakob’s children? Why hadn’t he told her the truth before she traveled across the country? Since the man had died suddenly a few weeks earlier, she would never know. It had taken her all that time to convince her brother to let her come here, and now it seemed a wasted effort.
“How old are your kinder?” she asked.
Jakob raked a hand through his short hair, showing his annoyance. “Reuben is seven and Ruby is five.”
“I didn’t know anything about them,” she said.
Now what? She hadn’t expected this. No, not at all.
The Western United States seemed strange and isolated to Abby, but it offered a chance at freedom. To begin a new life of peace and happiness. At the age of twenty-four, she should have already wed. But frankly, her father and brother had soured her toward all men.
Except one.
A rush of memory filled Abby’s mind. She’d been twelve years old when Simon was beating her with a heavy stick...doing what he’d seen their father do so many times before. Up until then, Jakob had been friends with Simon. The two boys were both fifteen years old. Jakob had been working with his daed in a nearby field. When he’d seen what was happening, he’d marched through the tall wheat, jerked the stick out of Simon’s hand and broken it over his bended knee. Simon had been furious that Jakob would interfere, but he hadn’t dared challenge him. Jakob was bigger, stronger and fiercer. He’d shielded Abby, giving her time to flee.
When Jakob’s familye had migrated to Colorado a year later, Abby never forgot his kindness. And every time her father or brother beat her, she thought about Jakob and his compassion. It was the only reason she had agreed to marry him. But now, she had a dilemma. If she returned to Ohio, she’d be forced to live in Simon’s household, where she had no doubt the abuse would continue. And she couldn’t stand that. No, not ever again. But maybe there was another option.
“I understand a marriage will not work between us.” She spoke softly, her hands trembling.
Jakob tilted his head to the side. “What did you say?”
She forced herself to meet his dark, angry eyes and repeated herself. “There has obviously been a horrible misunderstanding. But now that I am here, is it possible that I might work for you? Surely you need help on the farm. I am eager not to return to Ohio. Please. Don’t send me back there. Let me stay and work here.”
She hated that she must resort to begging, but life was harsh for an Amish woman alone in the world. She didn’t want to return to the misery waiting for her in Ohio, but neither did she want to abandon her faith for a life among the Englisch. She could work to make her way, if only Jakob would agree.
“I see no reason why you must leave, especially when you just got here,” Bishop Yoder said. “Our district is anxious to bring new members into its fold, to increase our settlement. There are not enough women of our faith to marry our young men. You would be a great asset to our congregation.”
Abby understood the implication of his words. If Jakob wouldn’t marry her, then someone else would because they were in short supply of Amish women. But what they didn’t know was that Abby would never agree to marry any of them. The fact that Jakob’s father had misguided her only confirmed her belief that most men could not be trusted and they used women only to get what they wanted.
Naomi nodded eagerly. “Of course, you must stay. We can find room for you here. There’s always work to be done, and we really could use more help. The bishop’s wife runs a bakery in town, and we contribute baked goods on consignment. In fact, I have to make a delivery in town tomorrow morning.”
Sarah nodded eagerly. “Ja, that is true.”
“You could also assist me with keeping an eye on the kinder,” Naomi continued.
Abby didn’t mind looking after children, but she felt a little odd tending Jakob’s kids. It was preferable to returning to Ohio. Everyone seemed eager for her to remain here. Everyone except Jakob.
“I would like that very much,” Abby said.
In unison, they all turned to look at Jakob. Their eyes were filled with hope as they silently awaited his verdict. For the first time in Abby’s life, it felt good to be wanted for a change, even if it was just Naomi, the bishop and Sarah who wanted her.
Jakob blinked, regarding them all as if he were a cornered rabbit facing a pride of mountain lions. Panicked and desperate. Abby held her breath, silently praying he agreed to let her stay.
* * *
Jakob took a deep breath, then released it slowly. He tried to calm his racing heart and troubled mind. Right now, he didn’t know what to think. Confusion fogged his brain. Too much grief had struck his familye lately. First, his beloved wife, Susan, had died in childbirth. Then Daed had died of a heart attack a few weeks ago. But why had Daed written to Abby and said that Jakob had agreed to marry her? It didn’t make sense.
Between the farm and his furniture-making business, Jakob already had more responsibilities than he could handle effectively without a wife. Though he tried, he had little time to comfort his grieving children. Mamm and his elderly grandfather had filled in the gaps. They’d been a great deal of help, but they were also still in mourning. He was responsible for each of them. To cope with his loss, he had buried himself in his work. It was easier to pretend that Susan was still alive, waiting for him at home at the end of each day. That his father was available anytime he needed advice or help with his labors. That they were a whole and happy familye again.
But they weren’t.
He definitely could use assistance on the farm, but not a wife. Never that. He would not allow Bishop Yoder or Mamm to pressure him into marrying again. It hurt too much. But what should he do about Abigail Miller?
He reminded himself that he wasn’t the only one who had been duped by his daed. After reading his father’s letters to Abby, he realized she hadn’t known that he was a widower with two young children to raise. Right now, they were with Dawdi Zeke, their great-grandfather, and not here to witness this difficult conversation. Reuben was still so angry that his mudder and grandfather had died. He and Ruby couldn’t understand what had happened to their world.
Neither could Jakob. It seemed that Gott had abandoned them, and he didn’t know why.
“I suppose we could make room for you here in the house, at least until you decide what you’d like to do. I can stay with Dawdi Zeke, so that there is no appearance of impropriety,” he said.
There. That was good. His offer provided an immediate solution to Abby’s needs without making any long-term commitments. And by staying with Dawdi, it would remove Jakob from the house so that no one could accuse him of indecency with a woman who wasn’t his wife. Of course, he’d still be taking his meals here in the house, but with Naomi and Dawdi’s presence, no member of his congregation could accuse him of being inappropriate.
“Dawdi Zeke?” Abby asked.
“My grandfather.”
She nodded. “Danke. I am grateful to accept your offer.”
She released a quiet sigh and looked away, her startling blue eyes filled with relief. He couldn’t blame her. He remembered her familye well and could guess her reason for not wanting to return to them. Mamm had told him that her father had died a few years earlier, which left her to the questionable mercy of Simon. Jakob had no doubt the boy had grown up to be a cruel man just like his father, and he hated the thought of sending Abby back to him.
A clatter sounded outside the open window. Jakob stepped over to peer out and saw Reuben racing across the lawn toward the barn. A bucket was overturned in the flower bed, as though it had been used as a step stool. The boy’s footprints were embedded in the damp soil, and he had tromped on Naomi’s petunias.
Hmm. No doubt the little scamp had been listening in on their conversation. Jakob had no idea how much the boy had overheard, but he would have to deal with that later.
“Wundervoll. I am so glad we have come to an agreement. Abby will remain here, then.” Bishop Yoder slapped his hands against his thighs and stood to signal his departure. Sarah rose also, smiling wide.
Naomi hopped up and escorted them out onto the front porch. “I appreciate your being here today.”
“Any time. Let me know how things go...” The bishop’s voice faded as the screen door clapped closed behind him.
Jakob turned and faced Abby. She’d been a young girl when he saw her last. Young, quiet and afraid. Now, she was an attractive, fully grown woman with magnetic blue eyes; smooth, pale skin; and golden-blond hair. Her light blue dress and matching cape looked perfectly starched, though her skirts were slightly wrinkled from her travels. She still looked quiet, still afraid. The complete opposite of his outspoken wife. Susan had been olive-skinned with dark hair, freckles, hazel eyes and an overly long nose. She wasn’t what most people would call beautiful, but she’d been kind and energetic, and Jakob had loved her dearly.
Correction. He still loved her. He always would. And he had no room in his heart to love another woman. Not ever again.
Now, Abby sat with her battered suitcase resting beside her on the hardwood floor. Her shoulders sagged with weariness. Still wearing her black travel bonnet, she appeared tuckered out and in need of some time by herself. She reached up and slid an errant strand of flaxen hair back into her kapp, looking lost and all alone in the world.
A twinge of compassion pinched his heart.
“Koom. I will show you to your room.” Without waiting for her, Jakob scooped up her bag and headed toward the back stairs. She followed. He could hear the delicate tapping of her sensible black shoes behind him.
Upstairs, he pushed the door wide to offer Abby admittance. She stepped inside and looked around the tidy room. It included a simple double bed, a nightstand on each side with tall gas lamps, a chest of drawers, a wooden chair and an armoire. The oak furnishings were beautiful but plain. Jakob had crafted the wood himself as a wedding gift for his new bride. They complemented the lovely blue Dresden Plate quilt that covered the bed. The design included small gold hearts at the corner of each quilt block. A matching braided rag rug covered the bare wood floor. Susan had made the quilt, rug and plain curtains hanging across the window. She’d claimed that the hearts on the quilt were a whimsical reminder of their love. And though pride was not something Jakob should allow himself, he couldn’t help feeling just a bit of Hochmut for her skill in making them.
Abby turned, her gaze riveted to the far corner of the room where a rocking cradle sat awaiting a little occupant. She made a small sound of sympathy in the back of her throat, her eyes filled with sadness. He’d made the cradle for his new child. As he looked at the empty mattress, a wave of lonely helplessness crashed over him. All his hopes and dreams seemed to have died with Susan and their unborn child. He should have removed it by now but hadn’t been able to let go of the past. Packing the cradle off to the barn would seem like burying his wife and child all over again. So he’d left it here, a constant reminder of all he’d lost.
He looked away, trying to squelch the pain. Setting Abby’s suitcase on the floor with a dull thud, he walked to the armoire and reached inside. It took only a moment to gather up his clothes. He didn’t have much, just what he needed.
Abby watched him quietly, her delicate forehead crinkled in a frown. Her gaze lifted to a hook on the wall where his black felt hat rested. He scooped it up, feeling out of place in his own home. Having this woman see the room he had shared with his wife seemed much too personal.
Abby looked at him, her eyes creased with compassion, and he felt as though she could see deep inside his tattered heart.
“This is your room,” she said.
It was a statement, not a question.
“Ja, but it is yours to use now. I will join Dawdi in the dawdy haus. He turned ninety-three last month and is quite frail, but he still lives alone now that his wife is gone.”
The dawdy haus was a tiny building next to the main house with a bedroom, bathroom, small living area and kitchenette. It included a front porch with two rocking chairs, although Dawdi Zeke didn’t do much idle sitting even though he was so old. The cottage was the Amish version of an old folks’ home, except that they cared for their elderly grandparents instead of turning them over to strangers. Jakob had no doubt the man would be happy to let him live with him for the time being.
“I’m sorry to chase you out of your room,” Abby said.
He shrugged. “It’s no problem, although Dawdi Zeke does snore a bit.”
He showed a half smile, but she just stared at him, totally missing his attempt at humor.
“We will eat supper soon. Come down when you are ready.” With one last glance around the room, he closed the door.
Alone for a moment, he stood on the landing, his thoughts full of turmoil. He didn’t want Abby here, but the situation wasn’t her fault. She’d come to Colorado in good faith. No doubt she was hoping for a better life than what she’d had with her own familye. He knew how he would feel if Reuben were beating little Ruby with a stick, and he made a mental note to speak with his son right after supper. He’d feel like a failure if one of his children grew up to be cruel and abusive. He couldn’t marry Abby, but neither could he turn his back on her in her time of need. If nothing else, he could shelter her. The Lord would expect no less.
Turning, he descended the creaking stairs and entered the wide kitchen. Mamm stood in front of the gas stove, stirring a pot of bubbling soup. Strands of gray hair had escaped her kapp and hung around her flushed cheeks. She looked tired, but he knew she’d never complain. It wasn’t their way.
The fragrant aroma of freshly baked biscuits wafted through the air. Mamm paused, looking at his armful of clothes. Her gaze lifted to his face, as if assessing his mood.
“Jakob, I’m so sorry. Your vadder never should have interfered...”
He held up a hand. She hadn’t been privy to his father’s plans and it wasn’t her fault, but he didn’t want to discuss it any further. “Abby is welcome in our home until she wishes to leave, but I am not marrying her or any woman. Not ever. Now, I’m going to get Dawdi and the children so we can eat. I heard Abby’s stomach rumbling and believe she is hungry. We should feed her before I complete the evening chores.”
With that final word on the subject, he stepped out onto the back porch and walked past the yellow daffodils Susan had planted the first year they’d been married. He saw her presence everywhere on the farm. In the garden where she’d grown huge beefsteak tomatoes in spite of the short growing season, and in his children’s eyes. They both looked so much like their mother that he could never forget. Nor did he want to.
No, he definitely would never marry again. It was that simple.
Chapter Two (#u57dc654d-ed21-5405-bc89-f46be33f426a)
“What’s taking her so long?”
Abby heard the impatient words as she reached the bottom of the stairs. The voice sounded grouchy, like it came from a young boy. No doubt Reuben was hungry and she was keeping him waiting.
Smoothing one hand over her apron, she subconsciously patted her white kapp before entering the kitchen. A gas lamp hung from the high ceiling, filling the room with warm light. Through the window above the sink, Abby saw the dusky sky painted with fingers of pink and gold. The warmth from the woodstove embraced her chilled arms and hands along with the delicious aromas of food. She hadn’t eaten since the day before and her stomach grumbled as she took another step.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” She stood in the doorway, gazing at the occupants of the room.
Two children, a boy and girl with identical chins and eyes, stared back at her. The boy sat on Jakob’s left with the girl next to him. As Naomi turned from the woodstove with a plate of steaming biscuits, Jakob and an elderly man scooted back their chairs and rose from their places at the head of each end of the long table. Their respect was not lost on Abby, and she stared at them in surprise. No one had ever stood up for her in her father’s home.
“Here she is.” Naomi spoke in a lilting voice as she showed Abby a happy smile.
“Willkomm to our home.” The elderly man hobbled over and took Abby’s hands in his.
This must be Dawdi Zeke, Jakob’s grandfather. His long beard was white as snow, his face lined with deep creases. A pair of wire-rimmed spectacles sat on the bridge of his nose, his gray eyes sparkling with humor and the experience of a long life. As Abby looked at him, she found nothing to fear.
“Danke,” she said, conscious Jakob was watching her.
“Sit here.” Naomi pointed to a chair on Jakob’s right.
As Abby rounded the table, the two children stared at her...the girl with open curiosity, the boy with open hostility.
“But that’s Mamm’s seat,” the boy said.
Abby hesitated, her hand resting along the high back of the wooden chair.
Jakob’s mouth tightened and he didn’t say a word, but his dark eyes mirrored his son’s disapproval.
“I can sit here.” Abby sat across from Ruby instead, not wanting to stir up any more animosity.
In spite of her effort to please him, Reuben gave a gigantic huff and rested his elbows on the table, his chin cradled in the palms of his hands. He eyed her as though she were a stinky dog that shouldn’t be allowed in the house.
“Sit up straight and mind your manners,” Naomi told him with slightly raised eyebrows.
The boy did as asked, but his glare stayed firmly in place. Abby tried not to squirm beneath his unfriendly gaze and decided that ill-mannered children should be ignored. She instead focused on Ruby and was rewarded for her effort. The girl grinned, showing a bottom tooth missing in front.
“You’re pretty,” Ruby said.
“Danke. So are you,” Abby said, feeling the heat of a blush suffuse her face. She wasn’t used to such praise, even from a child.
“You’re not our mamm. You never will be.” Reuben blurted the words angrily, then scooted back his chair and raced out of the room. The chair toppled to the floor with a loud clatter.
Abby flinched.
“Reuben!” Jakob called, but the boy kept going.
Abby blinked, not knowing what to say.
“I’ll go speak with him.” Jakob stood and walked around the table to set the fallen chair back up, then left the room.
Abby stared at her hands. It was obvious that Reuben didn’t like her. That he felt threatened by her. And if she were going to stay here, she must figure out a way to show him that she meant no harm.
“Where did Reuben and Daed go?” Ruby asked, her little chin quivering.
“Reuben isn’t feeling well. Your vadder will look after him, but he will be fine,” Dawdi said.
The girl accepted this without further complaint.
“It’ll be all right,” Naomi whispered and patted Abby’s shoulder, then set the biscuits in the middle of the table and took her seat.
Dawdi smiled at each person in turn, as though trying to bring a better mood back to the room.
“Let us pray and give thanks to the Lord for the bounty we enjoy each day.” He waited patiently for them to bow their heads.
His words warmed Abby’s heart. She couldn’t help comparing Zeke’s actions with those of her father and brother. Back home, if she didn’t hurry, she could find herself receiving a solid smack with the back of her brother’s hand. There was never any tolerance waiting for children or women in his home.
In unison, they closed their eyes. Silently in her mind, Abby recited the Lord’s Prayer from the New Testament. Then, she quickly thanked Gott for bringing her safely to Colorado and asked that He might comfort Reuben and help her make a successful life here. Everyone at the table released a quick exhale, and Ruby reached for the biscuits. Naomi hopped out of her chair and hurried to pour glasses of milk for them. The woman bustled around, seeing to everyone else’s needs. Abby stood up to help, but Naomi pushed her back into her seat.
“You’ve had a long enough day. Just sit and eat your meal.”
Feeling frazzled and exhausted, Abby sat down.
“How was your ride into town on the bus?” Dawdi asked as Naomi ladled thick soup into his bowl.
“It was long and tiring, but I saw some amazing scenery on my journey. Your mountains are so tall. I’m glad to be here,” Abby said truthfully.
“I’d like to ride on a bus someday, but we only travel by horse and buggy,” little Ruby said.
“Unless we need to travel a great distance, as Abby has done. Then we would take the bus,” Dawdi said.
“Then I want to go on a long trip one day. Then I can ride the bus,” she said.
Dawdi smiled. “I’m sure you will, one day.”
Jakob returned a short time later with Reuben in tow. The boy sniffled, his face and eyes red from crying. He paused beside Abby’s chair and stared at the toes of his bare feet.
“Go on. Do as you were told,” Jakob urged the boy.
Reuben heaved a tremulous sigh. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”
Overcome by compassion for the motherless boy, Abby couldn’t resist reaching out and squeezing his arm. The moment she did so, she felt him tense beneath her fingertips, and she removed her hand. He might have apologized, but she could tell he wasn’t really sorry.
“It’s all right. No one could ever replace your good mudder,” she said.
He glanced at her face, as though surprised by her words. Then a glint of suspicion flashed in his eyes. He didn’t say anything as his lips pursed and he took his seat at the table. Keeping his gaze downcast, he ate his meal in silence. And then a thought occurred to Abby. Surely Jakob wouldn’t have beaten the boy into submission. She knew many Amish parents adhered to the spare the rod, spoil the child mantra. But not Jakob. Not the man she’d known and trusted all these years. He wouldn’t do such a thing. Would he? She hadn’t seen him in years and didn’t really know him anymore. Maybe he’d changed. And the thought that she might be the cause of Reuben suffering a spanking, or worse, made her feel sick inside. If so, he now had a viable reason to hate her. And if Jakob had struck the boy, she wouldn’t be able to like him either. Maybe it was a blessing they would not be marrying.
She nibbled a biscuit but had suddenly lost her appetite.
Jakob lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth. He chewed for a moment, then swallowed. “I’ll start plowing the fields tomorrow, but I don’t want to plant the feed corn too soon. We could still get a killing frost.”
“I think we’re safe now.” Dawdi spoke between bites. “We can plant anytime. But tomorrow morning, you should go with the women to the bakery. They’ve got a lot of heavy items to carry and they’ll need your strength. I can stay here and finish staining that oak hutch for Jason Crawley.”
“But the day after tomorrow is the Sabbath. I won’t be able to plant then,” Jakob said.
Dawdi shrugged. “We can plant on Monday. That is soon enough. It’ll give us a couple of extra days since you’re worried about frost. It shouldn’t keep us from having a bountiful harvest.”
Jakob nodded, accepting his grandfather’s advice without protest. Dawdi Zeke might be old, but he knew what he was talking about.
Jakob glanced briefly at Abby, and her senses went on high alert. She felt as though he could see deep inside her, but she couldn’t understand why he made her so jittery. Perhaps it was because she doubted him now, just as she doubted all men. Was it possible the compassionate boy she had known had grown up to be abusive like her brother?
“Ja, you are right. I should drive Mamm into town,” Jakob said. “She is low on flour, and I don’t want her to lift the heavy bags. We will drop off her breads and pies at the bakery, then go to the store and purchase the other supplies she needs.”
“Ach, I can lift those bags just fine,” Naomi said.
“I can help. I’m strong and can do the lifting, too,” Abby offered, wanting to earn her keep.
“Absolutely not. Naomi will be glad to have your help with the baking, but let Jakob lift the bags of flour,” Zeke said.
Abby nodded, returning the man’s warm smile. Back home, her brother expected her to do heavy work. In spite of the aches and pains in her muscles and joints, she’d learned not to ask him for help. Even with Reuben’s outburst, it felt so good to be sitting here, having a familye meal and a normal discussion. It was her first day in Riverton and she was beyond grateful to be here.
She tasted her savory chicken noodle soup, and her hunger took over. Even though she was nervous, she ate her fill, enjoying strawberry preserves spread across her warm biscuits. They consumed one of Naomi’s schnitz apple pies for dessert. And when the meal ended, the men scooted back their chairs.
“I will be out in the barn,” Jakob announced.
Abby realized his evening chores must have been interrupted because of her arrival, and she felt the heat of embarrassment stain her cheeks. Normally, the majority of farm chores were completed before sitting down to the evening meal.
“I’ll help you,” Abby said, wanting to do her part.
“No need. Tomorrow, you can work. Tonight, you should rest,” Jakob said.
Dawdi walked around the table and leaned down to kiss Naomi on the forehead. “Another delicious meal, my dear.”
Likewise, Jakob kissed his mother’s cheek. “Danke, Mamm.”
“Gern geschehen.” Naomi smiled with satisfaction. She squeezed Dawdi’s hand but looked at her son. “Don’t let him overdo or lift anything heavy out there.”
Jakob nodded obediently. “I won’t.”
Dawdi pursed his lips. “You can both stop mothering me. I’ve worked all my life and raised a familye. I’ll lift anything I want. I’m not a boppli.”
No, he definitely wasn’t a baby. He continued murmuring as he hobbled toward the door. Although his words sounded terse, his tone was light and pleasant. Abby knew they were just worried about the elderly man, but she wasn’t used to this kind of loving banter and couldn’t be sure.
“I would never question your skills, Dawdi. You know more about farming than anyone in the state,” Jakob said, resting his arm across his grandfather’s feeble shoulders.
“I’m glad I’m still good for something,” Zeke replied with a laugh.
Abby stared in shock. Growing up, she’d never seen this kind of affection nor gratitude shown in her home. Was this normal in most Amish households, or just this one? It seemed so alien to Abby, and yet she wished she had been raised this way.
“I’ll gather the eggs.” Reuben stuffed half a biscuit into his mouth before pushing away from the table.
“I want to help, too.” Ruby hopped out of her chair, and both children quickly carried their dishes to the sink before kissing their grandmother. Then they raced outside with the men.
Naomi released a huge sigh and finally sat at the table. She cupped her face with her hands, breathing hard.
“Are you all right?” Abby asked.
The woman nodded and sat back, seeming to relax now that her familye had been cared for. “I’m fine. There’s just a lot to do.”
She reached for a bowl and filled it with soup for herself. She began eating, and Abby thought she was overdoing.
“Now that I’m here, I can help take some of the load off you,” Abby said.
Naomi smiled. “Ja, I’m so glad to have you here, my dear.”
Again, the woman’s words warmed Abby’s heart. “The kinder are so eager to assist with the work.”
She was thinking of home again. She’d never been opposed to hard work, but she hated being anywhere near her father or brother. Surely Reuben wouldn’t be eager to help in the barn if his dad was inclined to beating him and Ruby.
Naomi nodded. “They are good children. I hope you know Reuben didn’t mean any harm by what he said earlier.”
“Ja, I understand that he has suffered a great loss. You all have.”
Naomi showed a sad smile. “I am sorry for how this has turned out with Jakob. You must be very disappointed not to be marrying him.”
Abby shrugged. “Not really. I am content not to be married. And I’m so grateful to be able to stay here with you. I promise not to be a burden. I’ll earn my keep.”
“Don’t worry about that. I like having a house full of familye. But you should marry one day. It’s a lot of work but also brings boundless joy. Losing my husband has been difficult, but we had many wonderful years together and I have my grandchildren to enjoy now. But I am very worried about Reuben and Jakob.”
“How many children do you have?” Abby asked, standing so she could clear the table.
“Five, including Jakob, who is the eldest. They are all grown and married now. Three of them live in the Westcliffe area and come to visit us now and then. Colorado isn’t like Ohio, where all of our familye lives close by. Here, we are spread far apart, but we are glad to have affordable land. There is plenty of room to grow. We can have a better future here. My daughter Ruth and her husband live here in Riverton. You’ll meet them at church on Sunday. She is expecting her first child in August. Then I will have eight grandchildren to love. I hope to have many more.”
Abby smiled at the thought, wishing she could have children someday. A husband and a large familye that loved each other had always been her dream. But children of her own would require marriage, which didn’t appear to be in her future. Although it wasn’t quite the same, she would just have to care for other people’s children. Starting with Reuben and Ruby.
“How nice that your familye is growing so much. You must be very pleased,” she said.
Naomi set her spoon in her empty bowl and pushed back from the table with a sigh. “I am. It is good to have a large familye in my old age, but I would feel better to see meinsohn happily married again. I can understand why my husband wrote to tell you that Jakob would marry you. The Amish settlements in Colorado are just beginning to grow. Bishop Yoder fears without enough women, our young men might start marrying outside our faith. I’m sure that is one reason he was eager for you to remain here with us.”
Abby didn’t respond to that. She thought it was better to let the topic die. And yet, she’d had such great expectations. Now, she wasn’t so sure.
“Is Dawdi Zeke your father?” she asked.
Naomi nodded. “He is kind, yet firm in his convictions. He’s lived a long, happy life. Jakob is just like him, although you wouldn’t know it lately. He’s still hurting over losing his wife. But one day, he will realize that Gott wants him to keep going and to be happy. That he cannot live in the past.”
Abby agreed, yet she realized how difficult it must be for Jakob. He’d lost two vital people he loved very much, and she envied that love. How she wished someone in the world loved her the way Jakob loved Susan. Abby was so traumatized by her life in Ohio that she was desperate to leave it behind, yet Jakob wanted to cling to the past. She realized neither mind-set was healthy, but she had no idea how to overcome the problem.
“Now, tell me about Ohio and our old home. Who has married recently and who has had new babies? Tell me all the news.” Naomi stood and walked to the kitchen sink.
Abby willingly complied, drying the dishes while Naomi washed. They laughed and chatted as they worked, soon having the room cleaned up and plans made for tomorrow’s meals. That didn’t diminish the worries in Abby’s mind. She was a stranger in a new home. She’d come here to get married, but surely things had worked out for the best. The Lord knew of her needs and would care for her. She must have faith. Jakob had let her stay, and she didn’t dare ask for more. So why did she feel an unexplainable sense of disappointment deep inside her heart?
* * *
The air smelled of a combination of cattle and clean straw. The horses were inside their stalls, blissfully munching on hay. The sun had all but faded in the western sky, highlighting the fields with shadows of dark purple and gray. Jakob lit a kerosene lamp and set it on the railing. He loved this late time of day, when he’d almost finished his work and could go inside and read or talk with his familye before the fireplace. But lately, he found no peace of mind.
Sitting on a three-legged stool, he set a clean bucket beneath one of their three cows.
“Abby is a sweet young woman, don’t you agree?” Dawdi Zeke asked.
Jakob paused in his milking and glanced over at his grandfather. It was a good thing that Reuben and Ruby were outside feeding the pigs. It might have been a mistake, but he’d told Dawdi about his father’s letters to Abby and that he had refused to marry her.
“She is a nice enough person I suppose,” he said.
Dawdi leaned against the side of the cow he was milking. He sat at a hunched angle, indicating his arthritis was bothering him again. His bucket was almost filled with frothy white milk or Jakob might have tried to get him to go inside. He gave his fragile grandfather as few chores to do as possible. The familye couldn’t stand to lose anyone else right now.
“Susan was a sweet woman, too,” Dawdi said. “It was a shame to lose her. But it’s been over a year and it’s time for you to live again. If you open your heart to love, you will find more joy than you ever thought possible.”
Open his heart to love? Jakob didn’t know how anymore. Even if he could do it, he didn’t want to try. When he’d married Susan, he’d locked his heart to all others. What if he loved another woman and lost her, too? He couldn’t stand to go through that pain a second time, nor did he want to put his children through it again.
“I’ll never love anyone the way I loved Susan,” he said.
“True. Susan was unique and you loved her for who she was. But Abby is unique, too. She’ll bring some man a lot of happiness. If you decide not to love again, then that’s the way it’ll be. But it doesn’t have to be like that. It’s your choice.”
“It wasn’t my choice when Susan died. I can’t tell my heart what to feel or who to love,” Jakob said.
How could he tell his heart to stop loving Susan and start loving another woman? He couldn’t shut it off and on. It wasn’t possible.
“Ja, you can. All you have to do is stop being angry at Gott and start living in the present instead of the past. Look for ways to feel joy and you’ll find it.” With a final nod, Dawdi stood slowly and carried his bucket out of the milking room. He set the container on top of the rough-hewn counter. When he turned, he staggered but caught himself against a beam of timber.
“Dawdi! Are you all right?” Jakob stood so fast that he almost kicked his bucket over. A dollop of frothy white milk sloshed over the pail.
“I’m all right.” Dawdi Zeke held up a hand to reassure him.
Jakob was still worried. With his father passing away so recently, they were shorthanded. To take up the slack, Dawdi Zeke had been overdoing, but he would never complain. Jakob would make a point of doing the milking earlier for a few days, to give his grandfather a rest.
He glanced at the buckets, mentally calculating how many gallons of milk they would have tonight. He knew Mamm would separate the cream later, to make butter and other tasty fillings for the pastries she sold at the bakery in town. During the past few years of drought, the extra income she brought in had been a blessing. With Abby’s help, they should be able to increase their production.
Jakob lowered his head and continued with his task. Yes, Abby was a sweet person from what he could tell, but that didn’t mean he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with her.
It would do no good to tell Dawdi that he wasn’t angry with Gott, because he was. Very angry. Yes, he loved the Lord with all his heart, but why had He taken Susan and Daed away when the familye still needed them so badly?
Dawdi leaned against the doorway. “Your vadder was wrong to bring Abby here without your approval, but I believe he had your best interests in mind. No doubt he intended to speak with you about it, but he never got the chance. I hope you won’t feel too harshly toward him.”
Jakob didn’t respond, wishing they could talk about something else. He had loved and respected his father, but he had no idea what the man’s intentions had been. Jakob was no longer a young lad. He was a grown man with kinder of his own, and he had earned the right to choose whom he did and did not marry. His father had been out of line to make promises of marriage to Abby without asking him about it first.
“What are you going to do about Abby?” Dawdi pressed.
Jakob resisted the urge to look up from his milking. “Nothing. We will let her work and live here as long as she wants. I’m not inclined to send her back to her familye if she doesn’t want to go.”
He told his grandfather about his altercation with Simon all those years ago when they had been teenage boys. He didn’t want to send her back to a life of abuse.
Dawdi grunted. “Her daed was no better. I knew him well when we still lived in Ohio. A cruel man, for sure. Everyone in the district knew he beat his horses, wife and kids. Some even believe he was responsible for his wife’s death. His abuse was a constant point of contention in his home. The bishop and deacon spoke to him about it many times, but he never changed. The Lord taught us that loving persuasion is the way for us to lead our households. Otherwise, your familye learns to hate and fear you. And that’s not the way for any man to be.”
“I agree with you,” Jakob said.
Many Amish spanked their kinder, but not Jakob. No matter how disobedient, he could never bring himself to beat his wife or children if they chose not to do as he asked. They were too precious to him, and he didn’t want to become their enemy. But Reuben was getting out of control. Maybe a spanking was what he needed right now.
Dawdi made a tsking sound. “Ach, it’s just as well that it didn’t work out between you and Abby. But no matter. One of the other young men in our district will surely want to marry her. She’s beautiful, young and filled with faith. I doubt she’ll be living with us for very long.”
With those words, Dawdi picked up his bucket and carried it outside, leaving Jakob alone with his thoughts. Jakob stared after the man, stunned by what his grandfather had said. The thought of another man paying attention to Abby bothered him for some odd reason. They wouldn’t know about the abuse she’d suffered. Even Jakob sensed that he didn’t know all the facts. She needed a man who was patient, kind and compassionate. Someone who would adore her and never raise a hand to her or their children.
He tried to tell himself it wasn’t his business. Abby could marry whomever she liked. It wasn’t his place to interfere. And yet, he felt responsible for her now, especially since she had come here with plans to wed him and was now living in his household. And for the first time since she’d arrived, he actually felt bad that he couldn’t give her what she desired.
* * *
Abby was just preparing to go upstairs when Jakob brought the children inside for bed. They kissed their grandmother, then trolleyed off to brush their teeth with their father’s supervision. Hiding a yawn, Abby soon followed. Standing on the landing, she peered into the room the children shared. Two twin beds sat apart from each other, budged up against opposite walls. Curious about the kids’ relationship with their father, Abby listened for a moment.
“Will you read us a story, Daed?” Reuben asked, holding up a children’s book.
“Of course.” Jakob took the book and sprawled across the boy’s bed, his long legs hanging over the edge.
He plumped the pillows as Ruby joined them, wearing a simple flannel nightgown. She cuddled against her father and laid her head back. Abby plastered herself against the outside wall so they wouldn’t see her, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Not once in her life could she remember her father reading her a bedtime story, and she was captivated by the event.
Jakob read a tale about an Amish girl named Lily and her adventures around the farm. He brought the story to life, using a different voice for each character. When his tone lowered to a deep bass as he read the grandfather’s lines, Abby had to stifle a laugh. Soon, the story ended and Jakob urged the kids to sleep.
Abby peeked around the corner. With the children lying in their separate beds, Jakob snuggled the blankets around each of their chins, then kissed them both on the forehead. She had no doubt he loved his children with all his might. In fact, his show of affection told her that he hadn’t spanked Reuben earlier. If he had, the boy would still be angry and pull away. Wouldn’t he?
“I miss Mammi,” Reuben said.
“Me, too,” Ruby responded.
“I know. But she’s with Gott now. She’s also still here with us, in our hearts. She’ll never leave us,” Jakob said.
“How can she be with Gott and be in our hearts, too?” Ruby asked, her forehead furrowing.
“Because we remember her. If we think of her often and know what she would want us to say and do, she can be with us always. By that way, she lives in our hearts,” Jakob said.
“Truly?” Ruby whispered.
“Truly,” Jakob returned. “But you must be kind to Abby. It’s not her fault that Mamm died. And Abby has her own sadness to deal with, too.”
“Like what?” Reuben asked in a challenging voice.
“Both of her parents are gone and she’s all alone in the world. Life has not been easy for her.”
“Really? She doesn’t even have a familye?” Ruby’s voice sounded so sad.
“Not anymore,” Jakob said. “Just a bruder who never treated her well. She came here looking for a familye of her own.”
“Ach, she can’t have mine. She should go back to Ohio.” Reuben’s tone was heavy with resentment.
“She’s not trying to take any of us away from you, Reuben. She just needs a place to stay. We talked about this, and you will treat Abby with respect. You will treat your schweschder better, too. Understood?”
Abby was glad that Jakob told the boy to treat his sister well. But the boy made no verbal reply, and Abby wondered if he had nodded or merely refused to comply.
“Gutte’ nacht,” Jakob said.
“Ich liebe dich, Daedi,” Ruby called.
“I love you, too, boppli,” Jakob said.
He turned to leave and Abby darted into her room and carefully shut the door. She didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, and yet she was fascinated by Jakob Fisher and his kinder.
I love you.
The simple words of an innocent child to her father. How Abby longed to hear those words directed at her, but she knew now that it would never be. Other than her mother, no one had ever loved her, except Gott. And as long as she had the Lord on her side, she had faith that all would be well for her. She couldn’t blame Reuben for feeling threatened and wanting to protect his mother’s memory. He was just a young child who missed his mom. And once again, she envied Jakob and his loving, wonderful familye.
Chapter Three (#u57dc654d-ed21-5405-bc89-f46be33f426a)
Starlight gleamed through the windows in the dawdy haus. The cloying scent of the spearmint ointment Dawdi used on his arthritic joints lingered in the air. Jakob blinked his eyes, gritty with fatigue, and wished he could sleep. After a restless night, he’d finally dozed off and then awoken two hours early. He couldn’t stop thinking about his father and how he’d arranged to bring Abby Miller to their farm under false pretenses. Nor could he stop worrying about Reuben, or the farm, or his mother, or a million other concerns. He needed to trust the Lord more, but lately his faith had wavered.
Staring into the darkness, Jakob lay on the small twin-size bed inside his grandfather’s room. It had been his grandmother’s bed before she’d died five years earlier. He listened to Dawdi’s low, even snores and remembered a time when he’d been content enough to sleep through the night. Now, he was too troubled to rest more than an hour or two. His racing mind wouldn’t settle down. After several years of drought, they had finally enjoyed a wet winter. They’d made it through the lean times, but they were short on funds and he was eager to get the fields planted so they could sell their crops. Once they delivered the hutch he’d recently finished, the payment would also help.
Sitting up, he tossed the quilt aside and padded across the wood floor in bare feet. In the tiny bathroom, he closed the door before lighting a kerosene lamp. He quickly washed and shaved his upper lip so that no moustache would accompany his tidy beard. Turning the lamp down low, he emerged from the bathroom and dressed in the dark, his grandfather’s snores undisturbed by his movements. Walking outside, he closed the front door quietly behind him and stood on the porch for a moment.
Joe, their black-and-white dog, greeted him. His pink tongue lolled out of his mouth.
“Hallo, boy.” Jakob patted the animal’s head.
The chill morning air embraced him, and he took several deep breaths. Moonlight sprayed across the graveled driveway. His gaze swept over the open fields where their cattle grazed peacefully. A small stream ran past their place, swollen with spring runoff. He should speak with Reuben and Ruby about staying away from the swirling water where it deepened near the irrigation ditch...it could be dangerous to a young child. Thankfully, they should have enough water for their crops this year. Since his father brought his familye to Colorado ten years earlier, they had worked hard to build their farm into a prosperous place to live. Although they earned only half their living off the farm and the rest from the bakery and furniture he sold, Jakob loved it here and hoped to one day pass this land on to his children. Hope for a better future was the main reason his father had brought them here in the first place.
He held the lamp high as he walked to the barn. Joe trotted happily beside him, his stumpy tail wagging. Opening the heavy door, Jakob caught the warm earthy smell of dust, animals and straw.
“Abby!”
She stood in front of the grain bin, fully dressed and holding a silver pail and scoop of chicken feed. Another lamp had been lit and hung on a hook beside her head. The warm glow illuminated her lavender dress, white apron and kapp, making her look small and fragile among the shadows. Her eyes widened with momentary surprise, then she smiled and brushed a hand across her long skirts in a gesture that told him she was suddenly nervous.
“Guder mariye, Jakob.”
“Good morning,” he returned.
He closed the barn door to shut out the chilly air, then walked to her. “Why are you up so early?”
She took two steps back, not quite meeting his eyes. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d make myself useful. I suspect I’m used to getting up two hours earlier in Ohio.” She glanced at him. “Why are you up so early?”
He shrugged. “The same reason. I couldn’t sleep either, although Ohio has nothing to do with it.”
She laughed, her blue eyes twinkling and her face lighting up. In the lamp glow, she was absolutely stunning and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He realized she had as many worries on her mind as he did. And for some reason, he wished he could ease her fears and bring her a bit of comfort.
“It appears we both suffer from insomnia,” she said.
“I guess so.” He couldn’t help returning her smile.
Stepping closer, he reached up to remove a piece of straw from her kapp. She jerked back and lifted both hands, as if to protect herself. In the process, she dropped the pail and scoop. Chicken feed spattered across the barn floor. Her breathing quickened, her eyes wide and wary, as if she expected him to strike her.
Jakob drew back in surprise. He held perfectly still, waiting for her to relax. Then he plucked the piece of straw and held it out to her.
“I meant you no harm.” He spoke gently, trying to soften the tense mood. But in his heart, he couldn’t help wondering at her actions.
“Danke.” She stooped over and swept up the spilled feed with her hands, funneling it into the pail.
He noticed that she never turned her back on him, but positioned herself so she could always see him. Something told him it was a protective instinct she’d learned from living with her father and brother, and he couldn’t help wondering if they had a tendency to ambush her when she wasn’t looking.
When he crouched down to help her, she drew away again, her entire body stiff. And then he knew. Simon and her father’s abuse had been worse than he first thought. This gentle, soft-spoken woman was afraid of men.
She was afraid of him.
“I’ll never hurt you, Abby. You are safe here. This I vow,” he said.
She met his gaze, her lips slightly parted. Her eyes filled with doubt, and he wasn’t sure she believed him.
She stood abruptly and gave a nervous laugh. “I had better get the chickens fed. Do you want me to turn them out into the yard, or leave them in the coop?”
“Ja, turn them out. The dog will not bother them, and Dawdi will be here to watch over the place while we go into town.”
“Unless you object, I’ll feed the pigs also,” she said.
He nodded and she hurried to the door, but paused there to look over her shoulder at him. “Are...are we taking the children with us into town?”
Her voice carried a bit of hesitancy, and he didn’t need to ask why. No doubt she was still wary of Reuben and wished to avoid the boy.
“Ja, but we’ll be dropping Reuben off at school. Ruby will spend the day with you and Mamm.”
“Gut. I want to spend more time getting to know Reuben, so that he realizes I mean him no harm. I hope we can one day be friends.”
Once again, she surprised him. She didn’t want to avoid the boy. Instead, she sought the opportunity to be near him. Not what Jakob expected at all.
She stepped outside and closed the barn door. He felt the urge to go after her. To apologize once more for frightening her. To make her laugh again. But he knew that would be a mistake. It might make her think he had changed his mind and wanted to marry her after all. That there could be something between them. And there couldn’t. Not ever.
* * *
“Reuben, get your coat. We’re going to be late,” Naomi called to the boy from the stairs. Her arms were laden with a shallow box of freshly wrapped blueberry muffins.
The boy’s bare feet thudded against the stairs as he ran down them and hurried into the kitchen. He thrust his arms into his plain black sack coat. “Where’s my lunch?”
“Here it is.” Abby turned from the counter, holding a red personal-sized lunch cooler.
He came to a screeching halt. “Did...did you make my lunch?”
She nodded and smiled, handing the cooler to him. “Ja, and I put something extra special inside. I hope you like it.”
He scowled at her but took the handle, careful to avoid touching her hand. As he studied the box, she could tell he wanted to stop right there and open the lid to view the contents, but Naomi called to him again.
“Reuben! Koom on.”
The boy turned and ran outside. Picking up a box that contained six loaves of carefully wrapped homemade bread, Abby followed. On the porch, she set the box down on a table and closed the front door securely behind her.
“I’ll see you all later,” Dawdi Zeke called from near the workshop.
“Vaarwel.” Abby waved as she picked up the box of bread and stepped down off the porch.
Jakob had already pulled the buggy wagon up in front of the house. The back of the wagon was filled with carefully packed breads, rolls, cupcakes, cookies and pies for the bakery. He hopped out of the buggy to help her put the box in the back. As he did so, his hand brushed against hers and she jerked back, the warm feel of his skin zinging up her arm.
Looking up, she noticed that Naomi had managed to climb in the back of the buggy with Reuben and Ruby. That meant Abby would have to ride in the front with Jakob.
He helped her into the buggy, then hurried around to the driver’s seat. Taking the leads in his strong hands, he released the brake and slapped the leather gently against the horse’s back.
“Schritt.”
The horse stepped forward in a steady walk. In the close quarters, Abby gazed out her open window, conscious of Jakob’s knee brushing against her skirts from time to time.
When they reached the county road leading into Riverton, Jakob directed the horse over to the far right side of the road. Several cars and a truck whizzed past, and Abby was relieved when they took a turn onto another dirt road. Within fifteen minutes, they passed wide-open fields and an apple orchard.
“The Beilers live down there.” Naomi pointed. “We buy our apples from them. You’ll meet Lizzie at the bakery. She makes the best pies in the district.”
“Not better than yours, Grossmammi,” Reuben said.
“That’s because I use her crust recipe. It’s so tender and flaky. She’s a very gut cook.” Naomi smiled.
It wouldn’t be appropriate for the woman to brag, but Abby could tell her grandson’s words had pleased her.
Abby saw the schoolhouse long before they reached it. A white frame building with a small bell tower sat amid a fenced-off yard in the middle of a hay field. Two outhouses sat in one isolated corner. A teeter-totter and baseball diamond were the only play equipment in the yard.
The horse pulled the buggy wagon down the lane, and Jakob stopped them just out front of the schoolhouse. Several boys dressed in similar clothes waved at Reuben.
“Mach’s gut.” The boy bid farewell, then hopped out and ran toward them in bare feet.
“Wait! Your lunch,” Abby called.
The boy stopped. Turned. With a huff, he walked back to the wagon. Abby picked up his forgotten cooler and handed it to him with a smile.
“Have a gut day,” she said.
Under the heavy stare of his father, Reuben gave a slight nod, then turned and raced over to his friends.
Jakob made a clicking noise and the horse walked on. They passed another buggy coming into the schoolyard. They waved, but Jakob didn’t stop to chat. Abby could see the woman craning her neck to look at her and was grateful he kept going. She would have plenty of people to meet and questions to answer at church on Sunday.
“Reuben said you put something special in his lunch box,” Ruby said.
Abby turned in her seat, conscious of Jakob’s interest in the conversation. “Ja, that’s true.”
“Is it a real nice surprise?” Ruby asked, obviously digging for more information.
“I think so. Would you like to know what it is?”
The girl nodded eagerly, a wisp of brown hair escaping her small kapp.
Reaching into her purse, Abby withdrew a carefully wrapped bag of chocolate chip cookies tied with a bit of yellow string. While Naomi made breakfast, she’d prepared them for the bakery.
“I was saving the cookies to give to you later on, but if it’s okay with your vadder, you can have them now,” she said.
Ruby leaned forward and pressed her cheek against her father’s shoulder. “May I have them now? Please, Daedi?”
Abby’s heart melted. The girl asked so sweetly that it would be difficult for anyone to refuse her anything.
Jakob chuckled. “Ja, you may.”
Abby handed the cookies over.
“Danke.” The girl undid the string and then made an exclamation of surprise. “Ach, what is this?” she asked, holding up a little slip of paper with writing on it.
“What does it say? Can you read it?” Abby asked, knowing very well what it said since she had written the note.
Ruby tried to sound out the words, but got only the first three correct.
“‘You have an amazing smile.’” Naomi read it out loud for her.
“I do?” Ruby asked.
“You most certainly do,” Jakob said from the front seat.
“Ja, you do.” Abby faced forward and hid a satisfied smile. She’d written something similar on a piece of paper for Reuben, too. Simple words that would hopefully make him smile.
“That’s nice,” Naomi said.
The girl showed the paper to her father. “See what Abby gave me, Daed?”
Jakob nodded, looking at Abby with a thoughtful frown. “Ja, it was very nice of her.”
“I hope it makes you feel gut,” Abby said, thinking that Ruby and Reuben needed to hear something positive for a change. Maybe her notes would help them feel not quite so lonely for their mother.
“When I go to school, I’ll learn to read better.” Ruby tucked the note into her hand, obviously planning to keep it.
“You’ll learn many interesting things in school,” Abby agreed, remembering her own education as some of the fondest times in her life. For those few hours each day, she had been free of her father and brother. Free to be herself. Free to be happy.
After eighth grade, she’d had to return to the house, where she’d been constantly at their mercy. When her father had died three years earlier, she’d had no choice but to live with her brother and his new wife.
“The Hostetlers live down that road. They raise nothing but hay and draft horses. They sell their Percherons to buyers all across the nation. They hire big trucks to come in and transport the hay for them,” Naomi said.
She pointed out several other points of interest as they rode the rest of the way into town. Ruby munched on her cookies, even sharing one with her father. By the time they arrived in the alleyway behind the bakery on Main Street, they were in fairly good spirits.
“Guder mariye!” Sarah Yoder greeted them as Jakob pulled the buggy wagon to a stop and hopped out. Two other buggies were parked in the alleyway with men and women carrying baked goods into the store.
“How are you?” Naomi asked Sarah as she helped Ruby climb down from the buggy.
“Gut.” Sarah smiled at Abby. “You look much more rested than when we first met yesterday.”
“I am, danke.”
“Let me help you.” The woman took the box of frosted cupcakes Abby had lifted out of the back of the wagon, leaving her free to retrieve something else.
“Danke.” Abby smiled.
As they walked into the store, Sarah leaned closer and spoke low so that other people wouldn’t overhear. “Have you decided to stay in Riverton after all?”
Abby nodded. “For the time being.”
Sarah’s gaze followed Jakob as he carried a heavy case of baked goods into the store. “Amos and I both hope you might soon find a reason to stay permanently.”
Abby understood the woman’s meaning perfectly, but didn’t acknowledge it. She didn’t want gossip to spread that she and Jakob were courting. Because they weren’t.
Inside the shop, Abby helped fill the display cases with fragrant pastries, pies, breads and other baked goods. Ruby helped, too, picking up each wrapped loaf of bread carefully before handing it over to Abby.
“You’re new to the district, aren’t you?”
Abby looked up from her work. An attractive young woman with reddish-blond hair and wearing a sky-blue dress and white apron stood next to her, arranging a tray of frosted sugar cookies.
“Ja, I’m from Ohio.”
“I’m Lizzie Beiler. My familye is from Lancaster County. We moved here eight years ago.”
“I’m Abby. Abby Miller,” she said.
Lizzie nodded, but her slight smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and it quickly faded. “I’m glad to meet you, Abby. Are you going to be working here in the bakery now?”
Abby shook her head. “Ne, do you work here?”
“Ne, Sarah has two older daughters who help her run the place, but one of them will be marrying soon. Since you’re new in town, I thought perhaps Sarah might have hired you.”
“I’m just helping Naomi drop off her baked goods.”
Lizzie slid the tray of cookies into the display case. “The store is only open two days a week, on Fridays and Saturdays. In a town this size, there isn’t enough business to keep it open more often than that. Everyone knows the hours and they come in to buy their bread, pies and cookies for the week. A number of us make baked goods to sell. We use the same recipes for consistency. Sarah usually sells everything by close of business on Saturday evening.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Abby, we’re ready to go,” Naomi called to her from the doorway, wiping her hands on her long apron.
Ruby ran to her grandmother. Jakob stood just behind Naomi, speaking to Bishop Amos Yoder. He shifted his weight, seeming a bit nervous. He glanced at Abby, and she wondered what the two men were discussing. When Jakob nodded and turned away, she breathed in silent relief. No doubt he was eager to get their shopping done so he could return home to his work there.
“Goodbye,” Abby said.
Lizzie waved farewell, but she still didn’t smile.
Abby joined Naomi and stepped outside into the morning sunshine.
“I see you’ve met Lizzie,” Naomi said.
“Ja, she was nice and friendly, but she seemed kind of sad.” Her gaze drifted to the doorway where Lizzie had stepped outside with her empty basket. The young woman looked up, shading her eyes against the sun.
“That’s because she’s still missing Eli,” Naomi said.
“Eli?”
“Eli Stoltzfus, her fiancé. He left a couple of years ago... I lose track of time. They were supposed to get married, but he wanted to go to college. The night before they were to be baptized together, he abandoned our faith and joined the Englisch in Denver. He didn’t even have the common courtesy to say goodbye or write Lizzie a note. Nothing. He just left.”
“Oh, how sad,” Abby said, understanding how that must have hurt his familye and Lizzie.
“I understand from his mudder that he is doing very well in school,” Naomi continued. “He hasn’t even written to Lizzie. He broke her heart, and she hasn’t been the same since. Now, she won’t attend the singings or even think about getting married. I fear she’s lost her trust in men.”
Abby felt a powerful rush of sympathy. She didn’t trust men either. Her heart had been broken, too, but for different reasons. Neither she nor Lizzie wanted to marry. Not after the painful betrayal they’d experienced at the hands of men they should have been able to trust.
Looking up, Abby saw Jakob leaning against the buggy, his ankles crossed. With the warmth of the day, he’d rolled the long sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and pushed the straw hat back on his head. She blinked, thinking him the most handsome man she’d ever seen.
Ruby was already sitting quietly in the back of the buggy, a perpetual smile on her face.
Beneath the brim of his hat, Jakob watched his mother and Abby. From his calm exterior, he appeared to be patiently waiting for them. But Abby sensed a nervous energy in him. No doubt he was eager to return home.
“We better go. I don’t want to keep Jakob waiting any longer,” Naomi said.
Abby agreed. She hurried past Naomi and climbed into the back of the buggy with Ruby. Ever considerate, Jakob reached to help her, but she pretended not to notice and quickly sat beside the little girl. Ruby leaned against her. Unable to resist the girl’s open affection, Abby lifted her arm around her slender shoulders and cuddled the child close to her side.
Jakob helped his mother. Naomi gave him a sweet smile and patted his arm. When she sat back, Abby heard her breathing heavily, as though she couldn’t catch her breath. It had been a hectic morning. No doubt the woman needed a rest from her busy day.
Jakob rounded the buggy to climb into the driver’s seat, then took the leads and clicked his tongue. As the horse moved into a quick trot down the street, Abby wished that things could be different somehow. But Jakob loved his wife. He didn’t want her. And longing for something that could never be would only bring more discontent to Abby’s heart.
Chapter Four (#u57dc654d-ed21-5405-bc89-f46be33f426a)
That afternoon, Abby carried the heavy rag rug from the main living room outside to the backyard. Swinging it up, she struggled for a moment to get it draped over the strong rope line that stretched between two wooden poles. Picking up a wicker rug beater, she pounded the rug for several moments. Clouds of dust wafted into the air. Bright sunlight streamed across the yard, highlighting the flower beds where yellow tulips and daffodils were just starting to bloom.
Thirty minutes. That’s how long she had before she’d need to pull two cherry pies out of the oven. She’d set the timer on the front porch, so she’d be sure to hear it when it rang. Just enough time to get some house cleaning done.
Ruby was inside with Naomi, helping dust the furniture. To ease Naomi’s workload, Abby had insisted on mopping the wooden floors herself. Soon, Reuben would be home from school. She was eager to hear his comments over the special note she’d tucked into his cookie bag. Hopefully the message had made him happy.
Tugging on the rug, she adjusted its position and smacked it several times in different places. She coughed and waved a hand in the air to disperse the dust. The sound of horses drew her attention, and she faced the south pasture. On the opposite side of the barbed wire fence, Jakob sat on a disc plow with a two-team hitch. The moment she saw him, a buzz of excitement pulsed through her body. She didn’t understand why, but her senses went on high alert every time he was near.
The two gigantic draft horses pulled the plow with ease. Jakob held the lead lines in his strong hands, his body swaying gently as the blades sliced through the heavy clods of dirt. His straw hat was pulled low over his eyes, casting his face in shadow. He didn’t look up as he passed, his focus directed at the dappled Percherons as they plowed in long, even furrows. Abby was amazed that anyone could handle such big horses, but she knew they were nothing more than gentle giants. She had been here only one day and already couldn’t help admiring Jakob’s strength and hard work ethic. In spite of taking them to the bakery in town that morning, he had plowed half of the fields. Neither her father nor Simon had ever been so industrious, and she couldn’t help making numerous comparisons.
As he reached the end of the row and turned the horses, Jakob lifted his head and looked straight at her. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, Abby tugged the rug off the rope line and hurried toward the house. When she returned fifteen minutes later with the rug from the kitchen, Jakob and the horses were nowhere to be seen. She had just enough time to clean this rug before her pies needed to come out of the oven.
“Abby!”
She turned. Wearing a blue work apron over his clothes, Dawdi

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