A Mom For Christmas
Lorraine Beatty
A Christmas ReunionNoah Carlisle is surprised to see first love Beth Montgomery back in Dover. Beth left their small Mississippi town—and him—years ago for a ballet career. Now the only female in Noah's life is his daughter, and he won't risk their future for a temporary reunion with Beth. Home to rehab her knee, Beth counts the days to resume her career—until she sees her long-ago beau. Celebrating Christmas with the handsome man and his adorable child, Beth wonders if the dreams worth chasing were always right in her own backyard. Can she stay and be Noah's second chance and his daughter's Christmas wish—a gift-wrapped mom under the tree?
A Christmas Reunion
Noah Carlisle is surprised to see first love Beth Montgomery back in Dover. Beth left their small Mississippi town—and him—years ago for a ballet career. Now the only female in Noah’s life is his daughter, and he won’t risk their future for a temporary reunion with Beth. Home to rehab her knee, Beth counts the days to resume her career—until she sees her long-ago beau. Celebrating Christmas with the handsome man and his adorable child, Beth wonders if the dreams worth chasing were always right in her own backyard. Can she stay and be Noah’s second chance and his daughter’s Christmas wish—a gift-wrapped mom under the tree?
It was like old times.
They were talking again, like when they were teenagers. But Noah wasn’t the same. The lanky, nerdy teen was now a man. A father.
He glanced over at her, his blue eyes clouded. “When I found out you’d joined the ballet company and never bothered to tell me, I figured—” He stared straight ahead, his jaw flexing.
Beth longed to reach out to him. Years ago she’d shut him out of her life. And then so had his ex. All he’d wanted was to make a family with his little girl, and his dream had been shattered.
“I’m sorry, Noah. I didn’t mean to cut you out of my life.”
“We can’t go back and change the past, Beth. But we can learn from it.”
“Can we call a truce? For Chloe? After all, it’s Christmas.”
Finally he looked at her. “Sure. For Chloe and for Christmas.”
Wasn’t that what she wanted? So why did her heart still ache? Because just like old times, being friends with Noah wasn’t enough.
LORRAINE BEATTY was raised in Columbus, Ohio, but now calls Mississippi home. She and her husband, Joe, have two sons and five grandchildren. Lorraine started writing in junior high and is a member of RWA and ACFW, and is a charter member and past president of Magnolia State Romance Writers. In her spare time she likes to work in her garden, travel and spend time with her family.
A Mom for Christmas
Lorraine Beatty
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
You shall have no other gods before Me.
—Exodus 20:3
To Jovetta Ealy, a woman after God’s heart, and in loving memory of her sons, Marco and Willie.
Acknowledgments (#u35a27ed3-f15b-5e8a-b194-db29ad8017f4)
To Jon Young, who shared his structural
engineering expertise with me, and who,
when I told him what I wanted to do to my hero,
didn’t blink, but proceeded to tell me
how to make it happen.
To Katie Lohr, the ballerina the Lord
literally placed in my car. Her knowledge
and experience with ballet and with
Ballet Magnificat added so much to Beth’s story.
Dr. Brad Kennedy, DC, who always
has the perfect solution to any injury
I decide to inflict upon my characters.
I couldn’t have written this book without
the three of you.
Contents
Cover (#ua03eab7e-0b36-59e4-90e3-b2d4297693f9)
Back Cover Text (#u6354077c-0f8a-537c-a219-2eb1c04604ed)
Introduction (#u2efceadb-696c-5289-aa73-c41db515eabe)
About the Author (#u8607270f-336d-5423-98a4-200708474138)
Title Page (#ub15614da-e7fb-53ef-90f0-8a19342a02c5)
Bible Verse (#uc0c0d1d6-f65f-5f08-85b0-f34036c9856c)
Dedication (#u9599f276-6cb9-5148-a584-3f790215fe6a)
Acknowledgments (#ucee9134a-22a8-5ce7-8700-ec649462c9f8)
Chapter One (#u3c5c4e1d-eee6-576b-834e-19ceec92048e)
Chapter Two (#ua6007414-d658-59df-b450-9bd36435e9ff)
Chapter Three (#ueeccc951-a59c-5d1a-9dff-1afa4e66fe8c)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u35a27ed3-f15b-5e8a-b194-db29ad8017f4)
The air in the enclosed stairwell reeked of age, and the timeworn wooden stairs creaked with each step. The glass in the old-fashioned door rattled in protest when Bethany Montgomery grasped the knob and pushed it open.
She stepped from the narrow staircase leading to her apartment above her mother’s real estate office and inhaled deeply. Even here in the broad recessed entry of the downtown building, the air was tinged with the scent of degrading metal and aged wood. The tiny black-and-white octagonal tiles on the floor from over a hundred years ago completed the picture. Everything in her hometown of DoOver, aka Dover, Mississippi, was old. And at the moment she felt the same. Old, worn-out and irrelevant. And in need of a major do-over.
Unlocking the door to the right, she entered the office of Montgomery Real Estate, her mood sinking another level. She didn’t want to be here. Not in Dover, not in the office and not in Mississippi. Her life was in New York, dancing with the Forsythe Ballet Company as principal ballerina for the last six years. She’d been living her lifelong dream, the culmination of a journey started when she was five and her mother had taken her and her sister to see a production of The Nutcracker in New Orleans.
Now it was all gone. Ended by a torn ACL complicated by years of overuse and damage she’d paid little attention to. Her neglect had finally caught up with her. There would be no lead roles from here on, and even a spot in the corps de ballet was doubtful. Instead she was forced to come home and work for her mother. The doctors and physical therapists had all declared her days of classical ballet over.
She refused to accept that. Others had recovered from this kind of injury and gone on to perform for years. She would be like them and she wouldn’t stop working until she was on stage, en pointe, and once more at the top of her profession.
Beth switched on the lights, booted up the computer and scanned the small office, her gaze landing on the wall of family photos. Her throat tightened as she looked at her portrait. It was her first professional photo, and she was dressed in a white tutu, en pointe posed développé croisé devant, looking like a graceful bird. Absently she rubbed her leg, remembering the pain of the last nine months and that moment when she’d landed and heard the horrible popping sound in her knee.
Her heart dropped into her stomach, leaving a cold emptiness in its place. How was she supposed to go on from here? What was she supposed to do with her life? A sob formed in her chest, but she fought it down. She’d cried and raged enough since the accident. It hadn’t changed anything and only made her feel more like a failure.
“Good morning, sweetie. I’m glad to see you up and here on time.”
Beth put a smile on her face before turning to face her mother as she breezed into the office. “Did I have a choice?”
Francie Montgomery patted her shoulder before taking a seat at the desk. “Of course you do. Where you work is up to you. What you do with your life from now on is in your hands. You could open up a dance studio here in Dover.”
No way. She was not going to be one of those failed dancers who goes home and opens up a dance school for every mother who thinks her child is the next movie star. “What I want is to dance again.”
Her mother exhaled a soft sigh. “Beth, sooner or later you’ll have to accept that your professional career is over. Longing for something you can’t have is pointless.”
“It’s not over. Once I’m fully recovered, I will dance again. Somewhere.”
Her mother came and stood in front of her. “I hope and pray that’s true. But your doctors and your physical therapist think differently. You have to face the facts, sweetheart. And the sooner, the better.”
It was an old argument and one of the reasons Beth had moved out of her mother’s house. Though well-intentioned and motivated by love, her mom’s advice had quickly grown old. Being back in the family home, where the presence of her late father lingered, had added to her distress. There was only so much heartache and sadness she could endure. With her sister, Tori, in California for an indefinite amount of time, Beth had moved in to her apartment above the real estate office to maintain her sanity.
With her mother occupying the desk, Beth moved to the front window and stared at the early morning activity along Main Street in the small town. Her mother was right. She had to face reality. But how did she begin to accept that? How did she face each day with no direction? What could possibly fill the dark, aching void left inside that ballet had always filled?
As she turned away, movement from the office across the entryway drew her attention.
Her mom had bought the entire building when she’d opened her real estate business decades ago. The ground floor consisted of two office spaces, one on either side of the entry, each with windows facing the street and each other. In the four days since she’d moved in to the apartment, she’d assumed the other office was vacant. But now a man was moving about inside. Curious, she stepped closer to the window.
He disappeared into the back room. When he reappeared, Beth strained for a closer look. Even with his back to her, it was impossible to miss how attractive he was. He had broad shoulders beneath a long-sleeved polo shirt of deep red that highlighted his muscular back as he bent and moved. Dark jeans hugged long legs. A warm trickle of appreciation oozed along her skin. Something about the dark hair curling along the nape of his neck bumped up her interest. She peered closer, hoping to catch a glimpse of his face.
“Beth, I need to show houses this morning. I don’t know when I’ll be back. Is there anything you need to know before I leave?”
She tore her gaze from the intriguing figure in the other office. “I don’t think so. Nothing much has changed since I worked here in high school.”
Her mother smiled. “True. Change comes slowly to Dover. But we’re getting better. I can’t wait for you to see the Christmas celebrations Gemma introduced last year.”
Beth had only come home for a few days last Christmas, and had left as soon as possible. She’d been eager to get back to prepare for the London tour, and looking at the extensive decorations and events her sister-in-law had orchestrated hadn’t been of interest to her.
With her mother gone, the office grew silent, allowing Beth too much time to dwell on the losses in her life. Thankfully the phone started ringing, and the next few hours passed quickly. The man next door hadn’t reappeared, but she’d been unable to get him out of her thoughts.
At noon, Beth hung the out-to-lunch sign on the door, set the lock and stepped out into the entryway. She looked forward to going upstairs and hiding in her room for a while. Maintaining a happy face for the walk-in customers and a cheery tone for the call-ins inquiring about homes for sale took a toll on her emotional reserves.
She inserted her key into the lock as the door to the other office opened, and she glanced over her shoulder. Finally she would get a glimpse of the intriguing man she’d seen this morning. The smile on her face faded when she looked at him. There was something familiar about the sky blue eyes and the angle of the chin.
“Hello, Beth.”
She inhaled sharply. “Noah? Noah Carlisle. Is that you?” She took a closer look. It was him, but he was different. Very different. This wasn’t the rail-thin, awkward, nerdy friend she remembered. The thick dark glasses were gone, exposing the rich blue eyes with lashes long enough to touch his brows. The planes of his face were still angled, but maturity had added a depth to his features and a sensuous fullness to his lips. Heat flooded her cheeks at the direction of her thoughts, along with a rush of delight. She reached out and gave him a hug, only to pull back when she realized he wasn’t returning the gesture. In fact, he wasn’t saying anything at all. There was no warmth in his blue eyes, no welcoming smile.
“I’m surprised you remember me.”
“Of course I remember you.” How could he say that? Her mind flooded with wonderful memories of their friendship. It had been the most important one in her life. She’d fallen in love with him, but he’d made it painfully clear he hadn’t returned her feelings. Her warm recollections drained away into a dark pool of humiliation. Suddenly self-conscious, she swallowed and brushed an errant strand of hair off her cheek, attempting to collect herself. “I was thinking about you the other day.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed rapidly. “Just the other day?”
What was he saying? “Yes. I mean, I’ve thought about you several times over the years.” His eyes were hard and cold, and there was no warmth in his tone. Noah had changed in more than looks.
A sardonic grin shifted his mouth. “That often in twelve years.”
Her conscience burned. She had thought about him, but she’d never bothered to do anything about it. Gathering her composure, she lifted her chin. “You look good.” Good didn’t come close. The scrawny young man she remembered had grown into a dangerously attractive man.
The bony shoulders had broadened into an impressive width above a muscular chest and biceps strained at the fabric of his shirt. His clear blue eyes were more vibrant above the high cheekbones. His thick, dark chocolate hair still persisted in falling over his forehead. But it was his air of confidence that was the most striking difference. The once shy, hesitant boy now carried himself with a confident masculinity that radiated from every pore.
“You’ve changed.”
“I grew up.” He held her gaze a long moment. “I heard you were back in town.”
The disinterested tone in his voice hurt. They’d been best friends. Why was he so distant and angry? True, she hadn’t stayed in touch. Her career had taken all her time and attention. Surely he understood that. She refocused on his comment. “I am. For the time being.”
Noah set his jaw. “Don’t you think you’ve chased this foolish dancing dream of yours long enough?”
She clamped her teeth together and fisted her hands to keep a lid on her anger. She didn’t know what his problem was, but she’d had enough. “Foolish? I’m a professional dancer with a world-renowned ballet company. I’d hardly call that a dream.”
“Are you dancing now?”
The truth pierced like a scalding poker to her heart. “No. But I will be. As soon as I heal and regain my strength.” Maybe if she said it often enough, it would be true.
He shook his head. “You haven’t changed a bit. Still obsessed with only one thing. Being a big-time ballerina. You don’t care about anything else.”
“That’s not true. I care about a lot of things.”
Noah arched his dark eyebrows, and one corner of his mouth hiked up. “I know what you don’t care about. Your family and your friends. How could they compete with your dreams of fame? Good seeing you again, Bethany. Have a nice life.”
He pivoted and strode out onto the sidewalk, disappearing before she could form a response. Noah had always been her biggest supporter, her cheerleader. What had she done that had turned him against her? If anyone had a right to feel angry, she did. He was the one who had rejected her affections with a shrug, leaving her burning with humiliation and pain, then put as much distance as possible between them.
Up in her cozy apartment, Beth munched on a tasteless sandwich, searching her memory for some explanation for Noah’s behavior. What was he doing back in Dover anyway, and why hadn’t her mother told her he was here and renting space from her?
A vague memory formed of her mother mentioning something about an old friend coming back to town, but she’d tuned it out like she did most things concerning Dover.
The ugly truth forced itself into her mind. Because keeping in touch wasn’t high on your list. Dancing had been her passion her whole life. She’d been aware that her drive had pushed most of her relationships to the side. Even her family. But to succeed, she’d had to pour all her effort and concentration into her work. And it had paid off. For the last six years, she’d been at the top of her game. Ambiance, the new ballet the troupe had performed in London, which she’d helped choreograph, had been the highlight of her career and put her name in the forefront of the dance world. Until one misstep had caused an injury that put her future in jeopardy. But she’d come back. She would. Somehow.
Was losing touch with Noah a big enough reason for his attitude? It didn’t make sense. All she knew was that she didn’t like him being angry with her. It had been a long torturous year, starting with her injury in London last winter, two surgeries and months of painful rehab in New York before coming home. She was worn down and desperately needed a friend. Noah had always been her confidant, and he’d known exactly what to say to lift her spirits.
Until today.
* * *
Noah strode away from his office and along the sidewalk, working his jaw and trying without much success to quell the anger and hurt raging in his gut. Bethany was back. He’d known that for a while. And he’d known he’d run into her sooner or later. Sooner, actually, since her mother was his landlord.
Checking Main Street for traffic, Noah jogged across to the courthouse park, making his way to Union Street and Latimer Office Supply. The chilly November wind stung, but he welcomed it. It took his mind off seeing Beth again. He had a new business to get up and running. Carlisle Structural Solutions was all he should be thinking about.
After paying for his supplies and picking up a sandwich at the DoOver Deli on the corner, Noah returned to his office and settled in the back room. The first bite of his sandwich triggered a memory—one he didn’t welcome. He’d ordered the deli’s special club sandwich—Beth’s favorite. He’d forgotten that. He shoved the meal aside.
He’d forgotten a lot of things about Beth. Like how lovely she was. When she’d turned and faced him, his mouth had gone dry. His palms had grown sweaty, and his heart rate tripled. He was eighteen again and in love with his best friend. The years had faded away, along with the pain of her desertion and her callous indifference toward those who cared about her. All he saw was her hazel eyes that always sparkled, her kissable mouth and the way she stirred his protective instincts when she was close. The pink sweater with the wide collar added a rosy tinge to her cheeks and made her look very touchable. Her dark hair was cut in a way that made it float around her face, and when a strand had landed on her cheek, he’d had to stop himself from brushing it aside.
Then she’d hugged him, and he’d slammed into a wall of searing emotions, unable to move. She’d been soft and warm against him. He hadn’t been prepared for that kind of response. He’d fought against the tender emotions, which had only brought out his long buried resentment. He’d spoken harshly, aware of the hurt he’d caused her from the look in her eyes, but unable to stop the stinging words.
Beth had severed their friendship with one quick cut and never looked back. That’s when Noah realized that as far as she was concerned, nothing and no one was as important to her as her life in the dance world.
Until today, he had believed he’d recovered from his broken heart and her disregard for their friendship. But like a punctured water line, all his emotions were spewing forth. In the meantime he’d have to shut off the emotional flood and keep his distance from Bethany until she left again. Easier said than done. He was always keenly attuned to her nearness, and he’d never been able to keep her from flitting through his brain like a butterfly, touching down lightly here and there, bringing memories to life again.
He glanced around the back room of his new office. He still had a lot to do to get his engineering business up and running. In the meantime he was working full-time for the city of Dover as a building inspector. Not his first choice of jobs, but it paid the bills. Thankfully, he’d be spending most of his time conducting on-site work, and there’d be no need to interact with Beth. Besides, she’d be gone soon enough, back to the only thing that ever mattered to her. Dancing. Then life would go on as usual. And he could forget Beth. Again.
Tossing his trash in the bin in the small kitchen area, Noah locked up and headed out. He had four inspections to do this afternoon. He fought the urge to glance into the real estate office to see if Beth was there, scolding himself for his weakness. He would not look. Stepping onto the sidewalk, he went straight to his car and climbed in, shutting down all thoughts of his old friend, fully aware of the uncomfortable truth he’d denied for years.
Bethany Montgomery had taken root in his heart, and there was no yanking her out.
* * *
Beth rubbed her eyes, trying to focus on the listings on the computer screen. After a restless night she’d wanted nothing more than to sleep in, hide under the covers and try to forget her life was in shambles. Her sister’s apartment was perfect for isolating herself. Tori had a good eye for decorating, and she’d designed the space in soft muted tones of green and blue that wrapped around you like a warm hug. The balcony, which overlooked the courthouse square across the street, was shielded from curious eyes by large pots of evergreen vines that even in the dead of winter provided privacy.
But today her new job required her to be in the office bright and early. Her mother had a long list of showings, which meant Beth would be working alone most of the day. Not a pleasant prospect because it allowed her too much time to think.
She’d fretted over Noah’s icy reception all night, but still found only one logical explanation. He hadn’t forgiven her for not staying in touch. Noah didn’t have a mean bone in his body, but he’d behaved like a man with a giant chip on his shoulder. A man who had been deeply hurt. But not by her. He’d never loved her. The realization still had the power to bring a sharp prick to her heart. She planned on talking to him again once he calmed down. If he did. She had enough to worry about as it was.
Shutting down thoughts of her old friend, she concentrated on sorting through the new additions on the Multiple Listing Service and the few phone messages left by locals who were putting their homes on the market. Thankfully the day passed quickly. It was early afternoon when the office door swooshed open. She looked up, expecting house hunters. Instead, a young girl walked in and slowly made her way toward the reception desk, her gaze scanning the walls as she went.
She was a cute child with golden brown hair in a page-boy style that framed her oval face and brought out her big blue eyes. Beth guessed her to be about the same age as her niece, Abby. She leaned her forearms on the desk. “Are you looking to buy a home, or are you more interested in renting?”
The little girl giggled. “I’m not looking for a house. I’m only nine. I’m here to look at the pictures.” She pointed to the wall of family portraits and photographs her mother proudly displayed.
“I see. Shouldn’t you be in school?”
“Dentist appointment.” The girl stepped to the desk and extended her hand. “I’m Chloe. I come in here a lot to look at the pictures when Miss Francie is here. Oh.” Her eyes grew wide, and her mouth fell open. “You’re her. I mean you’re you, I mean—” She swallowed and pointed to the ballet portrait. “That’s you, isn’t it?”
Beth smiled and nodded. “Yes, it is.”
Chloe’s eyes grew soft and dreamy, and she clasped her hands together over her heart. “You’re beautiful. Like a white butterfly floating in the air.”
Her throat contracted. Never had she received such a sweet and sincere compliment. “Thank you, Chloe. That means a lot to me.”
“I want to be a ballerina. I want to drift like a feather and wear beautiful costumes.” She spread her arms and twirled around the office.
Beth couldn’t help but smile. The child was adorable. “Well, you can if you work hard. It takes a lot of training and dedication. Do you take dance lessons now?”
Chloe stopped. Her arms dropped to her sides, and her expression sagged nearly to the floor. “No. I can’t.”
She spoke the words with such drama that Beth had to swallow the chuckle that rose in her throat. “Why not?”
Chloe plopped her elbows on the desk, resting her chin in her hands. “Because my dad thinks it’s a waste of time, and he doesn’t want me to get caught up in silly dreams.”
Beth frowned and pressed her lips together. What kind of parent would tell a child such a ridiculous thing? “Dancing isn’t silly or a waste of time. It is a beautiful way to express emotion. It builds muscle and teaches discipline.”
“Daddy thinks it’s better if I play sports. He says they build character and teach a whole bunch of life lessons and stuff.”
Typical male. She could hear her brothers making the same argument. “What does your mother say?”
“Oh, she’s not here. She and Daddy got divorced a long time ago. She lives in Hollywood and has her own TV show. It’s called Brunch with Yvonne St. James.” Chloe’s eyes brightened, and she came around to stand beside Beth. “She’s going to send me a plane ticket so I can spend Thanksgiving with her, and she’s going to put me on her show, and I’ll get to meet lots of famous people. I hope I can meet Dustin Baker. I love his music, and he’s so dreamy.”
Beth had no idea who that was, but obviously he made Chloe’s little heart beat faster. “Are you going alone to see your mom?”
“Yes, ma’am. I can’t wait.”
Beth hadn’t been addressed as ma’am in a long time, and hearing it now set her back. It was common, even expected, here in the South, but having it directed at her made her feel older than her thirty years.
“I’ve seen lots of pictures of you.”
“You have?”
Chloe nodded. “Your mama talks about you a lot.” She pointed to the picture wall again. “I know your whole family. Those are your big brothers, Linc and Gil, and that’s their new wives, Gemma and Julie. Oh, and that’s Evan and Abby.” She walked toward the wall. “That’s Seth and Tori, but they aren’t here now ’cause Seth is in school to be a policeman and Tori is in California. I wonder if she knows my mom?”
“California is a pretty big place.”
Chloe shrugged. “I wish I had a big family. It’s just me and my dad. Oh, and my gram.”
“I’ve noticed you’re limping. Did you hurt yourself?”
She glanced down at her knee and shrugged. “I have Alls Goods Ladder.”
“She means Osgood-Schlatter.”
Beth’s pulse throbbed at the sound of Noah’s rich voice. She hadn’t heard him come in, nor had she expected to see him again so soon. He barely gave her a glance now.
“Chloe, what are you doing here? I told you to stay in my office.”
“Hi, Daddy. I wanted to see the pictures, and I got to meet the ballerina. I mean Miss Beth. Isn’t she beautiful?”
An awkward silence fell over the room like a suffocating blanket. Beth kept her gaze averted as Noah placed his hands on his daughter’s shoulders in a protective gesture. Noah was a father? She hadn’t considered that. She’d heard he’d gotten married not long after he’d moved to California, which had added another spear to her punctured heart. Noah had never thought of her as anything other than a friend. His buddy.
She swallowed and grasped for control. “Osgood’s. That’s a knee problem, isn’t it?”
He nodded. “She injured her knee playing soccer and then had a growth spurt, which complicated things.” He squeezed Chloe’s shoulder. “She’s supposed to do her physical therapy exercises every day, but it’s like pulling teeth.”
“I hate them. They hurt and they’re boring.”
Beth could sympathize. “I know exactly how you feel. I had surgery on my knee, and I have to do PT exercises every day, too. It’s not fun, but if you’re going to get stronger and play soccer, you have to do them faithfully.”
Chloe screwed up her mouth and crossed her arms over her chest. “Great. I was hoping you’d be on my side.”
Beth chuckled softly. “The exercises don’t have to be boring. You can listen to music—that usually helps.”
“Is that what you do?”
She nodded. “I put on my favorite ballet warm-up music and pretend I’m dancing. You know dancing can help strengthen the other muscles in your legs and knees and speed your recovery.”
“Really? Dad, can Miss Beth teach me to dance? I’ll do my exercises if I can dance. Please?”
The deep scowl on Noah’s face made it clear he was unhappy with her suggestion. “Chloe, go on back to my office and collect your things. We’re going home.”
“Okay. ’Bye Miss Beth.”
The minute Chloe was gone, Noah approached her, his eyes narrowed and dark. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t encourage her to come over here.”
“Why? Apparently she visits my mother frequently.”
“That’s different. Your mother will always be here. You won’t. You said yourself you’ll be leaving as soon as you’re fully recovered.”
She had told him that even though she knew it wasn’t true. “And what does that have to do with Chloe visiting me?”
“I don’t want you filling her head full of ideas about your dancing career.”
Now she understood, sort of. “Is that why you don’t want her to take dancing lessons? Because of me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I want her to grow up with a practical, realistic view of the world, and I don’t want her sidetracked by pointless dreams of being a dancer or an actress or any of those careers that lead to disappointment.”
“Little girls need to dream, Noah. You had a few dreams, as I recall.”
He nodded in acknowledgment, but his gaze still held condemnation. “But I grew up and realized that dreams don’t come true.”
“You’re wrong. Dreams are what gives us hope and joy.”
“Hope and joy?” He shook his head. “Disappointment and heartbreak. Look where your dream has left you. I want better for Chloe.”
The hurt in his light blue eyes and the pain that pulled at the corner of his mouth stabbed like an ice pick to her heart. What had happened to turn the sweet, understanding boy she’d loved into an angry, closed-off man?
He held up his hands as if to ward off further discussion. “Just stop telling her dancing can help with her recovery.”
“It can. In fact, ballet is being used as therapy for people with Parkinson’s and a variety of other medical conditions. At the very least, it’ll encourage her to do her exercises. I’ve been through countless physical therapy sessions over the years, and the only way to get through much of it is to make it fun. What harm can it do?”
“Harm? Next she’ll want to be a dancer like you, and look where that leads.”
“Where does it lead, Noah? I had a wonderful career. I achieved everything I set out to accomplish. I fulfilled my dream.”
“But what did it cost you along the way? What did you give up to capture that dream, Beth? Was it really worth it?” He yanked open the door and left.
Beth clenched her teeth. She wanted to shout at him that yes, it had been worth it, but the words wouldn’t come. Why? She’d always been so sure of her direction, her purpose. She’d been blessed with a gift, and she’d used it to the fullest. Until the injury had derailed her future. But she’d make a comeback. She was still working out in her old studio at her mom’s house each morning. That’s what she wanted, wasn’t it? To dance even if it wasn’t as the lead?
A small voice whispered in her ear. Is that what she wanted? Or was it what she was doing because there was nothing else? The last two years had taken a toll not only on her body, but also on her passion. She was still trying to sort out the shifts in her emotions from the accident. Now she was trying to swim through gelatin and figure out who she was and where she wanted to go.
Beth watched Noah walk away. Twelve years ago she’d handed him her heart, the bravest thing she’d ever done, and he’d tossed it aside. He’d gone on with his life, gotten married and had a child. He hadn’t bothered to contact her, so why was she the bad guy?
She looked across the entryway to Noah’s office as he and Chloe walked out. Chloe waved over her shoulder, a mischievous smile on her face. Dad may have laid down the law, but she had a feeling Chloe would find a way to come and visit her again. And she would make sure to invite her, despite what Noah had said.
Chapter Two (#u35a27ed3-f15b-5e8a-b194-db29ad8017f4)
Noah parked the car behind the historic mansion and shut off the engine. The twelve-room Victorian home was one of the oldest in Dover. His great-great-grandparents had founded Dover, then known as Junction City, in the mid-1800s. After the great fire that destroyed many of the wooden structures, the town was rebuilt and renamed Do Over, which had evolved into Dover. The town’s most prominent citizens built their homes to the east of town, along Peace Street. Only half of the dozen original opulent dwellings remained. His grandmother refused to live anywhere else, despite the home being too large for her to care for and having more room than one woman needed.
Chloe darted ahead of him onto the broad back porch and into the house. Gram was one of the reasons he’d come home to Dover. He’d been fourteen when his dad’s small plane had crashed, killing him and Noah’s mother. He’d come here to live with Gram and Gramps. Now that Gram was alone and getting older, he’d moved in to help her out and give his daughter a chance to know her family.
Dover would hopefully provide a new beginning for him and Chloe. Dissatisfied with the hectic pace of life in San Francisco, he’d resigned from the large engineering firm he’d worked for and decided to start his own structural engineering company in Dover. His hometown would also be a more conservative place to raise Chloe, who was growing up too quickly for his liking.
His grandmother, Evelyn Carlisle, was in the kitchen listening to Chloe recount her day. He noticed Gram was using her cane today—a sign her arthritis was flaring up again.
“I wish I could be like her.” Chloe sighed loudly, a dreamy look on her face.
“Like who?”
“Miss Beth.”
Noah shrugged out of his coat and draped it over the back of the chair. “No. You don’t.” He turned and saw a scowl on his gram’s face. He probably shouldn’t have said that, but he didn’t want his daughter’s head filled with notions of chasing fame.
“Yes, I do. She’s beautiful. I wish I could see her dance. I’ve only seen pictures.”
“I understand she is quite amazing. A very successful ballerina.” Gram raised her eyebrows. “She and your father were close friends in high school.”
Chloe grabbed his arm. “Really? Are you serious? You knew her? Did you see her dance? Was she gorgeous? Did she float like a dandelion puff?” Chloe spread her arms and twirled around the kitchen, bumping into the island.
“I never saw her dance.” Strange how he’d never realized that until now. He’d seen her in her studio warming up, but he’d never actually attended a performance. They’d been best friends, had shared everything, but at eighteen the thought of going to a ballet hadn’t been an option, even for a nerd like he’d been.
Chloe’s eyes widened. “I’m sure I could find videos of her on the internet. Can I look? Please?”
Refusal was on the tip of his tongue, but the pointed look from his gram told him to give in. She wasn’t above pointing out his parenting shortcomings. He really needed his own place, but he couldn’t leave her alone in this big house. “You can use my tablet, but sit here at the kitchen table to search.”
Chloe scooped up the device and started tapping the screen.
Gram put the finishing touches on the sandwiches she was preparing and handed him the plate. He plucked a stem of grapes from the fruit bowl and grabbed a couple of cookies from the jar before taking a seat at the island.
“I wondered how long it would take you to run into Beth again. She’s been home a while now.”
“How do you know that?”
“Francie told me.”
He’d forgotten that his gram and Beth’s mom were good friends. But then, he’d forgotten a lot about this place. He’d only been back in town a couple of months himself. “I ran into her yesterday.”
Gram set her own plate of food on the counter. “Hmm. That explains why you came home hissing like a snared alligator.”
“I did not.”
Gram shrugged. “How does she look? Has she changed much?”
“She’s too thin. But I guess she has to be. Her hair is shorter.” Softer looking, and it framed her face in long curvy strands that caressed her cheeks and made him want to brush them aside and feel the silky softness. “But otherwise she hasn’t changed.” She still had the sweet, childlike smile that made him want to hug her. Her hazel eyes, with their sooty lashes, were still as beguiling as ever, though they held a darker shade to them now. Maturity? Or sadness?
“Chloe seems taken with her.”
“Not for long. Beth told me herself that as soon as she’s recovered she’s going back to the ballet.”
Gram studied him a long moment. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. Francie told me that her injury was career-ending. She’ll never dance professionally as a ballerina again. She’s facing an uncertain future.”
The bite of sandwich stuck in Noah’s throat. No. Gram had to be wrong. “Are you sure? She looked fine to me.” More than fine. He shut down that thought.
“That fall she took destroyed her knee, and then there were complications.”
“What fall?”
“Noah, don’t you know what happened?”
He didn’t have a clue. He’d made it a point not to keep track of her successes. “I knew she’d been injured, but that’s all.”
“Oh, it was a terrible thing. She was doing one of those big leaps and landed wrong and tore her ACL. Her mother thinks Beth is in denial over her situation. It’s very sad. That child was born to dance.”
That was one thing Noah could not deny. “Yes. She was.” The thought of Beth never dancing again left an unfamiliar chill in his chest. As much as he resented her passion for the dance, and the way she’d shut out everyone, he knew how much it meant to her. It had shaped her entire life. How would she cope without it? What was she going to do now?
“Daddy, I found some videos. Can I watch them?”
Reluctantly, he nodded. Chloe sat beside him, and he couldn’t resist glancing at the tablet as she scrolled through the selection of clips featuring Bethany Montgomery. There were dozens. “Pick three. That’s all.”
Chloe clicked on the one labeled Aurora’s Act 3 Variation in The Sleeping Beauty. He had no idea what that meant, but he couldn’t force himself to look away. Beth appeared in a short tutu jutting out from her tiny waist. The puffy sleeves of her costume highlighted the graceful curves of her neck and shoulders. She rose on her toes, her arms floating gracefully as she began to dance with quick, precise steps. Part of him wanted to watch. To see her passion in action. But then reality shoved its way into his thoughts. There was only room for one love in her life, and it hadn’t been him. That’s what he had to remember.
Pushing back from the table, he carried his plate to the sink, then headed for the room off the parlor that had once been his grandfather’s office. Now it was his. He had a four-inch binder of Mississippi building codes to study. He focused on the numbers in front of him, but he couldn’t fully shake the vision of Beth on the screen, moving as if gravity had no claim on her. Even in the few moments he’d watched, her joy as she performed was impossible to miss. The thought of his Beth never dancing again was a cruel twist of fate he’d never have wanted for her.
His Beth. Ha. She’d never been his, even if that’s how he’d always thought of her. He’d fallen for Beth from the first moment he’d started tutoring her in math their senior year. She’d missed several weeks of school due to illness, and when the teacher had approached him about helping her catch up, he’d jumped at the chance. They’d quickly become friends. Neither of them had fit in well at school, and their friendship had filled a void for both of them.
He’d been sullen and withdrawn, burying himself in school and video games. Beth had been the shy, pretty girl, a self-proclaimed dance geek. Her friendship had drawn him out of his lingering anger and grief over losing his parents, and had brought a new life and light to his existence. He’d never confessed his true feelings, fearing it would destroy their relationship. Deep down he’d believed a gangly, self-conscious guy like him had little chance with an elegant, talented girl like Beth.
But something had changed between them those last months before graduation. Beth had auditioned for the Forsythe Company but hadn’t made the cut. She was devastated, and he’d done all he could to comfort and encourage her. The incident had drawn them closer together, and Noah had seen a new sparkle in her hazel eyes and a more intimate curve to her lips when she smiled at him. They’d touched more, laughed more and shared longing looks. He’d been certain it was love.
But he’d been wrong. She’d walked out of his life without so much as a goodbye, leaving him emotionally bleeding and giving him his first lesson in believing in dreams.
It was only later that he learned a position had opened up with the ballet suddenly, and Beth had gone to New York to pursue her dancing dream. That’s when the truth had hit. Hard. In Beth’s life, dance came first. Always. Friends were easily discarded, like an old pair of toe shoes. Dreams of a future with Beth were just that. Empty dreams. And dreams didn’t come true. It was a lesson he would learn well over the years.
It was probably good he’d never revealed his heart. Rejecting his friendship had been painful enough. Rejecting his love would have been too humiliating to bear. For the time being, he’d stick to his plan. Avoid Beth at all costs, and when she was gone he could pick up and move forward.
But how would Beth move forward? Who would help her face the loss of the thing she loved most? An unwanted flicker of protectiveness pinged along his nerves.
It wasn’t his problem. She’d made her choice, and she would have to adjust to the consequences.
* * *
“Please, Daddy, let Miss Beth teach me how to dance. I promise I’ll do my exercises every day.”
Noah placed the salt and pepper shakers in the cupboard after supper that night. Chloe had talked of nothing else all through the meal. “Just because Miss Beth thinks dancing is a good idea doesn’t mean it is. It could make your injury worse.”
Silverware clanged as Gram placed it in the dishwasher. “I think it’s a wonderful idea. She needs something to encourage her to do those exercises.”
Noah shut the cabinet door with more force than necessary. “Chloe is fine. She just needs to do what she’s supposed to.”
Gram exhaled a puff of air as she glared over her glasses. “I’m supposed to exercise for my arthritis, too, but it’s uncomfortable so I don’t do it. I know it’ll help eventually, but getting to the ‘eventually’ part takes too long. Why don’t you talk to Pete Jones, her physical therapist, and see what he says? Or better yet, have Pete consult with Beth about the pros and cons of letting her dance.”
“Out of the question.”
“Honestly.” Gram faced him, a deep scowl on her face. “Would you feel the same if it was anyone other than Beth? I would have thought you’d have gotten over her long ago.”
“There was nothing to get over. We were friends. It ended. I simply don’t want Chloe getting silly dreams in her head. I want her to have a secure future and a job that will provide a good living. Not something like dancing that could end suddenly or never take off at all.”
Gram placed the decorative candle back in the center of the breakfast room table. “Like moving to Hollywood and having your own talk show.”
Noah set the tea pitcher in the fridge and shut the door. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.” Gram untied her apron and hung it on a peg at the end of the counter. “Have you heard from Yvonne?”
Noah groaned softly. Another sore subject. His ex-wife and her utter disregard for their child. “Not since she texted Chloe about sending her a plane ticket to come out to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving.”
“Do you think she’ll follow through?”
“No. And I’ll have to tell my daughter yet again that her mother is too busy with her career to find time to spend with her.”
“Maybe having time with Beth and learning to dance would help soften the blow.”
Noah ground his teeth. “Until Beth packs up and heads back to New York without warning. Chloe doesn’t need another woman in her life pushing her aside when something more exciting comes along.”
“Are you so sure that’ll happen? Her mother says her ballet career is over.”
Noah shook his head. “You don’t know Beth the way I do. If she makes up her mind to dance again, then she will. It’s the only thing she really cares about.”
“That’s understandable. She devoted her life to being a ballerina, and I know how competitive the dance world is. She had to give it one hundred percent of her time and focus to succeed.”
“No. She had to give up everything and everyone to succeed.” He glanced at his gram, intending to drive home his point, but she was looking back at him with a knowing expression and a glint in her blue eyes as if she’d discovered something delightful.
“You know, most friendships fade away after school. Why are you still hanging on to this one?”
“I’m not hanging on. She was a friend I thought I could count on, and she wasn’t. The only thing I can depend on with Beth is that she’ll leave.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Her being back just reminds me that when it comes to women, my judgment is useless.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.” She sat down. “You’re a lot like your father was. He felt things deeply, but he didn’t express them. He had a tender heart and it was easily wounded. He fell in love with your mother the moment they met. They worked together for two years before he even asked her out. He almost lost her to another guy because he was afraid to share his feelings.”
“I don’t have feelings. She killed those long ago.”
“Beth did—or was that Yvonne’s doing?”
Noah was not having this conversation. “Gram, I love you, but I’m a big boy. I can manage my own life.” He strode from the room, but not before hearing a skeptical huff from his grandmother. She always claimed she knew him better than he knew himself. Unfortunately, she was usually right.
* * *
Bethany scrolled through the MLS for Dover and the nearby areas looking for a four-bedroom, two-bath ranch on ten acres. She’d tuned in Christmas music on the radio, and the mellow notes of “White Christmas” filled the air, but keeping her focus was a challenge. After a while the houses all began to look the same. She could never understand how her mother derived so much satisfaction from hunting down homes for sale and finding people to buy them. She printed out a couple of prospects, then stood and walked to the back room to get a fresh glass of sweet tea.
She was grateful to her mom for paying her to work at Montgomery Real Estate, but she’d have to find something else to do if she stayed in Dover. The thought gouged a channel across her stomach. She didn’t want another job. She wanted to dance. It’s all she’d ever wanted. But if she listened to her doctors and her physical therapist, she wouldn’t be returning to the Forsythe Company. They felt certain with enough recovery time and continued PT she’d be able to dance, but classical ballet was not recommended. It would be too easy to sustain the same injury again.
Beth refused to accept their diagnosis. She’d heard of many ballerinas who had suffered an ACL reconstruction and went on to dance for several more years. She would dance again. She had to. What else was there for her? Eight to five in her mother’s office? She wasn’t qualified for much else. She’d given up her chance at a degree when she’d joined the Forsythe Company.
The office door opened as she came back into the front, and she smiled as Evelyn Carlisle walked in. “Miss Evelyn, what a nice surprise. How are you?”
She laid down the papers she was carrying and gave Beth a warm hug. “I’m not bad for an old lady with arthritis. It’s nice to have our famous ballerina back with us. I know your mom is tickled pink to have you home. I love having Noah and Chloe with me again. Of course, I’m not one to sit in a rocker on the porch.”
The woman’s warm smile and zest for life made Beth smile. Noah’s gram was always involved in something, always trying new things and always first to jump in to tackle a challenge. “What’s keeping you so busy these days?”
Evelyn held up one of the papers. “This. I’ve reopened the Dawes Little Theater, and we’re having a special Christmas performance.”
Beth took the large colorful poster depicting iconic Christmas events. A sugar plum fairy, children around a tree, a winter scene and the nativity. “This looks wonderful. What made you decide to reopen the theater?”
“Your sister-in-law, Gemma. She did such a fantastic job with our celebrations last year that everyone is fired up to make this year even better. I’d been thinking about starting the little theater up again, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. We’ve scheduled it for the third Saturday in December. I was hoping to put a poster in your window.”
“Of course. I’ll put it up right away.” The thought of reviving the theater sent her heart skipping. It had been a vital part of the town for years, and she’d performed in several shows. She’d been sad to learn from her mother that Evelyn had closed it because of lack of participation.
“Most of our numbers are musical. Three familiar Christmas scenes with singing and dancing. I wanted it to be happy and joyful. We’ve been blessed so many people were eager to volunteer to put on the show.” Evelyn adjusted her glasses. “Of course, things happen. And we’re about to lose a key member of our staff. Allison Kent, our dance coordinator, just received a job offer in Biloxi she’s been hoping for, and she has to start immediately.”
“That’s too bad.” Evelyn was staring pointedly, triggering an uneasy feeling in Beth’s stomach.
“I thought perhaps I could talk you into stepping into her place to help us out?”
“Me?” The idea sent a swell of excitement along her nerves. Being in a theater again, performing, the excitement, the joy. Cold reality quickly squelched the feelings. She wasn’t in any shape to perform, and being in a theater now would only point out what she could no longer have. “I’m not really sure how long I’m going to be here, and I promised to help my mother.” She was hedging, and the look on Evelyn’s face said she knew it, too.
“Since all of our performers are amateurs, Allison kept the dances simple. They’re all set, and everyone knows them by heart. All you’d have to do is keep things on track.”
“That’s very kind of you to ask, but...”
Evelyn patted her arm. “Just think about it. We could really use your help. Oh, and I wanted to tell you I liked your suggestion about Chloe taking dancing lessons. I think it would make doing her PT exercises easier.”
“Noah told you about that?”
“He did, and I told him he was being closed-minded about the whole thing.”
“What does he have against it? I really can’t figure that out.”
Evelyn’s eyes sparkled. “Oh, well, it’s a long story. He’s got some funny ideas about the arts that, if you ask me, he needs to get over.” She scooped up the rest of the circulars. “Well, I need to get going, or I’ll never get these distributed.” She stopped at the door. “Oh. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to take a look at the scene from The Nutcracker we’re doing in the show. Allison had doubts about some of the steps. With your professional experience, maybe you could stop by and offer a few changes to make it better?”
It would be rude to refuse. “Of course. Just let me know.”
“Thank you. Oh, and would you see that Noah gets one of these posters for his office window when he comes in?”
“Of course.” Beth said goodbye, then returned to the desk and sank down in the chair. It might be fun to get involved with the production. But how would she feel being in a theater, knowing she might never dance professionally again? No. It would be safer to keep her focus on her recovery.
She was doing all she could, following her doctor’s and physical therapist’s advice to the letter. She was eating right, getting plenty of rest and doing her exercises faithfully. Each morning she did her exercises and a full ballet warm-up in the small studio her father had built for her when she was a child. Each day she pushed just a little harder, stretched a tiny bit farther, but always wearing her brace and careful not to overdo. She believed in her heart that if she worked hard enough and long enough, she could recapture the life she had before.
But what if the doctors were right, and she was lying to herself? That question lay like a shard of ice in her chest that never went away.
She glanced out the window and saw Noah unlocking the door to his office. Picking up the poster, she followed him inside. “Your gram left this for you to put in your window. I have one, too.”
He scanned the colorful announcement with a shake of his head. “She got it into her head to start the little theater up again.”
“You don’t sound pleased about that.”
He shrugged. “If it makes her happy...”
“She asked me to help out with the dancers. Apparently her instructor is moving away.”
Noah held her gaze, his mouth in a tight line. “I suppose you jumped at the chance.”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“Really.” He rested his hands on his hips. “What’s holding you back? Too busy selling real estate? Or is little theater beneath you? Going from principal dancer to small town choreographer is quite a comedown.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say.”
“Not if it’s true.”
The hurt tone in his voice made her stop and study him more closely. “Noah, what happened to you? To us? We were close friends. We always supported each other. I was going to be the famous dancer, and you were going to design architectural wonders.”
Noah sat on the edge of his desk, arms crossed over his chest. “I figured out pretty quick I didn’t have the imagination needed to be a successful architect. I was better suited for engineering. Numbers and equations. Things that are always solid and predictable.” He stood and went around the desk. “I learned to look at the future more realistically.” He faced her, his blue eyes cold. “I learned a lot that year. Like who my real friends were, and who could be depended on and who couldn’t.”
“We used to depend on each other.”
“I thought so—until you ran off to New York and never looked back. I guess friendship didn’t count as much as pursuing your career.”
How could she make him understand? “I had no choice. The call came in, and I had to be in New York the next day to begin rehearsing. My mom and I were running around packing, trying to make plane reservations. It was hectic.”
“Too hectic to find a second to call your friend and share the good news?”
His barb made a direct hit. “I meant to call you and explain.”
Noah’s gaze searing into hers. “When? The next day? The next week? I had to find out about you joining the ballet company in the newspaper.” He worked his jaw, his eyes dark. “That’s how much our friendship meant to you.”
“It meant a great deal to me. But I didn’t think it meant much to you.”
“I waited in the gazebo until midnight for you to show up. I called you a dozen times. I finally called your house and talked to one of your brothers, but all they knew was that something had come up and you and your mom had left.”
Her heart sank. They’d agreed to meet that evening at the gazebo to exchange gifts. Noah was leaving for the summer semester at Mississippi State the next morning. She hadn’t shown up at the gazebo because after he’d rebuffed her affections earlier in the day, she’d wanted to avoid him. It had been easy to dismiss that night amid all the rush to leave. Is that what was behind his attitude? Her failure to show up to say goodbye?
“I’m sorry, Noah, I was so busy. You know how crushed I was when I wasn’t chosen after my audition. This sudden opening with the company was the answer to my dreams.”
Noah worked his jaw from side to side. “And your dream trumped a casual friendship. I get it. We all have priorities, and I learned yours that night.” He stood. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
Without a word, he walked to the back office, leaving her alone, a hundred questions swirling in her mind.
Seated at her desk again, Beth replayed the events of that last day with Noah. She couldn’t tell him how heartbroken and embarrassed she’d been by his rejection. It wasn’t his fault she’d read too much in to their friendship. She couldn’t remain friends and pretend to be happy when he found someone else.
And he had. She’d heard through her mother that he’d abruptly transferred from Mississippi State to Stanford and married a year later. Proving once and for all his heart had never been hers. Her last thin strand of hope had died. It hadn’t been a misunderstanding. He truly hadn’t loved her.
With her mother out of the office, Beth tried to work, but her gaze kept wandering to Noah’s office. He never appeared again. He was either really busy in the back room, or he’d slipped out the back door to avoid seeing her.
A lump formed in her throat. Noah had been more than a friend. He’d been her strong shoulder, her soft place to fall. The man she’d loved. But she’d never told him that. She’d always worried that to do so would ruin the special bond between them. When she’d finally found the courage to open her heart, he’d been embarrassed and uncomfortable. He’d made it clear that the words of love she’d had engraved on the small key chain she’d given him weren’t welcome.
A sudden contradiction formed in her mind. If Noah had no feelings for her back then, why was he still so upset that she’d left town without telling him? His bristly attitude and his cutting comments didn’t sound like someone who had forgotten the past. They sounded like someone who still carried the pain.
What that meant, she had no idea. In the past, if she was confused about something, she would go to Noah and discuss it with him. No subject was off limits. But now, when she was so confused, he was the last person she could turn to. The realization stung.
She had to find a way to repair their relationship because being at odds with Noah hurt more deeply than she’d thought possible.
* * *
Noah’s encounter with Beth wore on his nerves like a pebble in his shoe. Thankfully, his job with the city had kept him busy all afternoon doing structural inspections, but he couldn’t shake the fact that he owed her an apology. He’d been rude and hurtful. What had happened, or not happened, between them was in the past. Beth had a right to live her life. Just because seeing her again stirred up old emotional wounds wasn’t her fault. He needed to recommit to his original plan. Stay away. Keep his distance. Then everything would be fine.
The tension in the kitchen was as thick as soup when he arrived home that night. Gram was at the stove, stirring the contents of a pot with vigor. Chloe was hunched up in the sunroom, her thumbs flying over her cell phone. He debated which female to approach first. Gram seemed less threatening.
He moved to the stove and looked down at the contents of the pot. “So did the sauce talk back to you, or was it Chloe?”
She huffed out a breath and straightened, peering over the rim of her glasses. “Neither. Merely a run-in with that brick wall we’ve been living with for the last few weeks. Apparently, the Carlisle stubborn streak didn’t skip a generation.”
Now he understood. “Chloe won’t do her exercises.”
“She says she will if Bethany teaches her to dance.” Gram stopped stirring and faced him. “What can it hurt, Noah? She’s nine. It’s not like she’s going to run off and join a ballet company at her age. This thing you have with keeping her away from anything involving the arts is just plain silly.”
Noah rubbed his forehead. “I’m just trying to protect her.”
“From what? Exploring new things and having fun? You can’t control what your daughter dreams about, Noah. Sooner or later you have to face the fact that she’s going to grow up and leave you, too. She’ll make a life of her own. Denying her things she wants to do will only hasten that along, and I know you don’t want that.”
He knew that, but he could keep her focused on things that were more productive. Things that would instill solid values for life and a future family. He took a seat in the sunroom on the footstool across from Chloe and stretched out his palm. She sighed and handed over her phone. That was their deal. She could have a cell phone, minus internet access, and he had the right to check her call and text history. “Shouldn’t you be doing your exercises?”
“They hurt.”
“Don’t you want to play soccer in the spring?”
“I want to dance.”
“There aren’t any dance schools in Dover.”
“Miss Beth could show me. She’s famous. She knows all about dancing.”
Every word his daughter spoke poked an anthill of emotions. “Miss Beth has no time for teaching.”
“Yes, she does. She told me we could practice at her studio at Miss Francie’s house.”
He handed back her phone. “When did you talk to Beth?”
“Gram and I stopped in to see you after school today, only you weren’t there. I stayed and talked to her while Gram went to the bank.”
Noah set his jaw. He’d have to have a talk with his grandmother. He didn’t want Chloe getting too attached to Beth. Better yet, he’d have a talk with Beth himself and set her straight about a few things.
* * *
The next morning, Noah parked his car beside the small building behind the Montgomery home that had been converted into Beth’s dance studio. Yesterday he’d been determined to tell Beth to back off and not mention dancing to Chloe. But he’d been unable to dismiss his gram’s advice. Chloe was growing up, and she would strike out on her own. He didn’t want her resenting him for denying her something she longed to do. But there was one other fact that wore away at his resentment. What if Gram was right, and Beth could never dance en pointe again?
He knew what it was like to have your dreams shattered and see the future you dreamed of go up in smoke. Beth must be suffering greatly with the prospect of never being a ballerina again. It had been her whole life.
He stepped inside the studio and found her on the small settee, her head resting on her knees. A twinge of concern hit him. As he approached, he saw her shoulder shake, which elevated his concern. “Beth, are you all right? Are you hurt?”
She jerked, lifting her head and blinking away tears. “Noah. What are you doing here?”
Taking a tissue from the box on the side table, she wiped her eyes, then rose to face him. His heart lodged in his throat. She was the essence of femininity. The black leotard and tights highlighted every feminine curve. The filmy overskirt that ended around her knees swished enticingly as she moved. Her dark hair, usually floating around her face, was pulled back into a haphazard knot at the back of her head. She looked every inch the professional ballerina—except for the sadness in her hazel eyes that brought an unfamiliar ache to his chest. He fought the sudden need to pull her close and comfort her. “You first. Why are you crying?”
She lifted her chin in a defiant gesture, only to sigh and lower her gaze, her fingers toying with strings on her skirt. “I was thinking about my daddy and how much I miss him. It’s been a year already, and I still have this horrible hole in my heart.”
It was not what he’d expected her to say, but he was very familiar with the emotion. “My gramps has been gone two years, and I still expect him to walk into the shop or come up behind me and squeeze my shoulder.”
“Two years?” She gave him a sad smile. “I was hoping you’d say something to make me feel better.” She glanced around the studio. “Daddy built this for me when I was ten. I’d told him that I was going to devote my life to dancing, and he said if that was true then I needed a place where I could practice every day.”
“And you did.” He remembered the hours she spent locked away. He’d count the minutes until she would step outside, put the practice behind her and become his friend. “I’m sure he was very proud of you.”
She smiled, a sweet one this time that melted his insides. “He was. He never missed a performance, and he always gave me a bouquet of pink roses afterward no matter how small my part. I felt like a real princess. He was my biggest fan.” She met his gaze, then set her hands on her hips. “Your turn. Why are you here?”
The determination that had driven him here had been diluted by Beth’s tears. Seeing her in her element, here in the studio, forced him to understand the significance of her loss. For all his issues with Beth, he would never want her to lose the thing she loved most. Gram was right. He couldn’t control his daughter’s dreams. Making too much of his disapproval might have the opposite effect. And in the short term, Beth would eventually leave, and by then Chloe would hopefully have moved on to a new interest.
“I came by to tell you that if you’re still willing, I think adding dance along with Chloe’s PT might be a good idea.”
“Really? I’d love to. In fact, I’m going to start working with my niece and her friend. Chloe can join us, and we’ll have a little dance class here. It should be fun.”
Seeing the joy and anticipation on her face left a warm softness in his rib cage.
“What made you change your mind?”
He didn’t realize how close they stood until he looked into her eyes. He could see the gold streak in the left one. “I can’t say no to my little girl.”
She chuckled softly and touched his arm. “Neither could my dad.”
He looked into her eyes and saw them dilate. His pulse flipped. She was so close, he caught the flowery scent of her hair. He gathered himself and stepped back. She’d always made his heart race. Her loveliness never failed to captivate him, but she wasn’t dependable. There was no room in her world for anyone else. The frown on her face told him Beth clearly felt his withdrawal.
“You won’t change your mind, will you? About Chloe I mean?”
He rubbed his forehead, already regretting his impulse. “No.” Noah cleared his throat. “She needs to do her PT, and if dancing gets it done then I’m all for it.” He pulled out a business card and handed it to her. “I have one request. Call Pete Jones, her physical therapist, and make sure you know what her parameters are and that he approves of whatever type of dancing you’re planning.”
“Of course. I’ll be very cautious, Noah. You can depend on me.”
That was the one thing he couldn’t do. “Then I’ll be going. Let me know when Chloe should be here.”
She stared at him, a questioning look in her eyes. “Okay.”
He held her gaze a moment before walking to the door. He had a bad feeling he’d just made a terrible mistake.
Chapter Three (#u35a27ed3-f15b-5e8a-b194-db29ad8017f4)
The Sunday morning air was cool but pleasant for early November as Beth strolled through the courthouse park. Above the giant old magnolias and moss-draped live oaks, she could see the white steeple of Peace Community Church like a friendly hand beckoning her home. She’d agreed to meet her mother and family for late services today. She’d begged off her first two Sundays here, but she knew she couldn’t do that any longer. Surprisingly, instead of dreading going to church, she found herself looking forward to it. She’d realized last night that worship had been one of the things missing in her life the last few years. She hadn’t turned her back on God or lost her faith, but it had taken a seat high in the back balcony of her life to other things. It wasn’t something she was proud of.
The front steps of the old brick church were crowded with members chatting and laughing. She wasn’t in the mood to talk about her career or her reasons for being home. It was too painful a topic. Skirting the front entrance, she took the walkway along the side of the building and entered through one of the side doors. It didn’t take long to find her family. They always sat midway up in the sanctuary. Her older brothers, Linc and Gil, were already seated with their wives and children. Her mother was talking to Evelyn Carlisle. Beth groaned inwardly, hoping they weren’t talking about her. Too late. Her mother spotted her and waved her over.
“Beth, Evelyn tells me that she asked you to help with the Christmas show. That’s a great idea. I think you should. It would be good for you to get involved.”
The woman laid her hand on her heart. “You would be an answer to my prayers.”
“What about my job with you?”
Her mom waved off her concerns. “Don’t worry about that. I’m used to running my business alone.”
Beth forced a smile. Evelyn and her mom had skillfully funneled her to a point where her only option was to say yes. “I’d love to help you out. When would you like me to start?”
Evelyn grinned. “Wonderful. We rehearse two nights a week and on Saturdays. We’re having a board meeting at the theater Tuesday evening. Why don’t you come, and I’ll introduce you to everyone. Oh, and let’s keep this between the two of us for the time being. I want it to be a surprise for the board.”
The organ began to play softly, and Evelyn excused herself and moved off. Beth saw her stop at a pew near the front, where Noah and Chloe were seated. Noah glanced over his shoulder, and their eyes met. Her heart skipped a beat. For a moment she felt the old link between them. She wanted to go to him and ask him to help her sort out her life. But he looked away, leaving her adrift again. She had the horrible feeling that he would never forgive her for leaving the way she had. She wasn’t sure she could live with that fact, because despite the years and the distance, she still cared for him. He was the best friend she’d ever had, the only person who understood her. She couldn’t make that go away.
Beth forced thoughts of Noah and the past out of her mind, suddenly craving the comfort and peace she’d always found in the historic church. In her drive to reach the top of her profession, she’d lost that feeling. She was beginning to think she’d lost far more than an active faith life.
Despite her best efforts, her mind wandered through the early parts of the service. Her gaze drifted to Noah, then to her brothers. Gil had his arm draped across the back of the pew, wrapping Julie in a subtle hug. Linc held Gemma’s hand, which was resting on his thigh.
A surge of longing swelled from deep inside. She wanted that kind of connection. A hand to hold, someone to depend on. For the last twelve years it had been her career, but that had failed her and set her adrift in a world she no longer knew how to navigate.
Reverend Jim Barrett’s gravelly voice pulled her from her negative thoughts.
“The first commandment is ‘You shall have no other Gods before Me.’ Have you considered how hard it is to follow? It’s the most important of the ten, but we treat it lightly. What God have you set in place of the Lord? What goal, passion, hobby or desire have you, unintentionally probably, set in place of God? What is it that you work harder for, strive for, push everything and everyone else aside for to achieve?”
A warm rush heated Beth’s cheeks, making her squirm. Was he talking to her? Had he known she would be here today?
“I know we all have to do certain things to meet our goals to get that promotion or earn that raise. We tell ourselves it’s so we can provide a better life for our family or for ourselves. But the problem lies in the definition of better life. If you’re ignoring your family, your friends and your God, then how can that make anything better? Ask yourself what is your goal really costing you? People, jobs, dreams will all fail you. Put Him first always, and He’ll take care of the rest.”
Beth stood for the final hymn, her mind replaying the things she’d heard. Had she done that? Had she pushed aside those she loved in her drive to achieve her lifelong dream? The answer wasn’t hard to find. She had. A sour feeling formed in her stomach. The buzz and push of people making their way out of the sanctuary pressed in on her. Her mother was talking to a friend. Her brothers and their families had exited the pew on the other end, leaving her a clear path to the side door. Quickly she made her way to the side aisle, but before she could reach the door she heard her name called. Chloe hurried toward her.
“Daddy says I can take dancing lessons from you. When can I come?”
Noah stepped forward, resting his hands on his daughter’s shoulders and looking absurdly handsome in a dark suit and crisp white shirt that contrasted pleasantly with his sun-darkened skin. The sky blue tie lying against his chest made his eyes even bluer. But the deep scowl on his face said he still had strong reservations about the situation.
Ignoring the wince of discomfort his look caused, she looked at Chloe. “I was thinking we’d meet twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays, right after school.”
Chloe frowned. “Not every day?”
“No, that’s not good for your muscles when you’re starting out. Even I have to take some downtime. And I have a surprise for you. My niece Abby and her friend Hannah are going to come, too.”
“Really? Cool. Abby’s here today. Dad, can I go find her?”
He nodded, giving her a loving smile before turning his blue eyes on her. She knew exactly what he was going to say. “Yes, I spoke with Pete and he’s all for the ballet lessons with a few exceptions. But those are things she wouldn’t be learning for a few months anyway.”
“What time will the lessons be? I need to work it into my schedule.”
“You plan on watching the entire hour?”
“Yes.”
“I wish you wouldn’t. It’s not good for Chloe if you’re hovering all the time.”
“I want to make sure nothing happens.”
Evelyn joined them, giving her grandson a light swat on his shoulder. “Noah, stop behaving like an overprotective father. Beth is a professional, and I’m quite certain she knows what she’s doing.”
Beth stifled a smile at the resigned look on Noah’s face. “Thank you, Miss Evelyn, for the vote of confidence. I’ll take good care of all the girls.”
Noah set his jaw and made an excuse to leave. After he stepped away, Evelyn slipped her arm in Beth’s and walked her toward the side door.
Evelyn pulled her a little closer. “We have some things to discuss, dear, and now that you’re part of the little theater we’ll have plenty of time to catch up.”
Beth wasn’t sure what she meant exactly, but she liked the idea. She had a feeling there was a lot more to Noah’s attitude than she knew. They’d been close back then, and she’d been able to sense his moods—except for the day she’d given him his graduation gift and he’d handed it back. Figuratively, of course. She had to find out why he was still holding an old grudge.
Maybe by accepting Evelyn’s offer, she could learn more about Noah’s attitude and find a way to repair the damage from the past.
* * *
Beth couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this anxious about anything. Not even her first solo performance as principal ballerina had tied her stomach in this many twisted knots. She scanned her small studio again. It was cleaned up and ready for her first students. Abby, Hannah and Chloe would be arriving soon for their first class.
Beth had conferred with Pete Jones a few more times about things she wanted to teach to make sure she fully understood Chloe’s condition. He’d offered to work with her, too, if she needed any help with her ACL rehab.
She exhaled a long sigh, clasped her hands together and glanced for the tenth time at the clock, fighting the churning sensation inside. For most of her dancing career she’d been the student, attending daily classes and rehearsals. She’d helped other dancers in her career, but they’d been professionals seeking advice. She’d never taught beginners, especially children. What if she was too technical? What if she pushed too hard or became impatient? What if—
“Aunt Beth, they’re here.” Abby charged through the door, all smiles.
“Hi, Miss Beth.” Chloe followed behind, and Hannah brought up the rear.
“Hello, ladies. You look excited.”
Hannah giggled. “We’re not ladies. We’re girls.”
Beth tapped her shoulder. “You are young ladies who are going to learn the first few positions of ballet.”
Chloe clapped her hands. “On our toes?”
“Not yet. You have to work up to that. Put your things over there and we’ll get started.”
Beth’s new sister-in-law, Julie, stopped at her side. “Thank you for doing this. Abby and Hannah were so excited on the way over, I thought my eardrums would burst.”
“I have to admit I was nervous about this at first, but I think it’ll be fun.”
“And much needed.”
“What do you mean?”
“Abby has wanted to take dancing for a while, but the only school near here is in Sawyer’s Bend. I’ve been reluctant to let her attend there. I’ve heard some disturbing things about the kind of dance moves they teach.”
Beth looked to her sister-in-law for an explanation.
“A lot of the moms here in Dover have pulled their girls from that school. At the last recital Hannah was in, she looked like a pole dancer. Her mother was furious.”
Beth was well aware of the suggestive movements popular in today’s world, though she couldn’t imagine teaching some of them to children. “I had no idea that was happening.”
“How do you teach your daughter Christian values and modesty when the world tells them it’s okay to dance like a stripper? Maybe you should think about opening up a school here. I know dozens of mothers would love to sign their children up if they knew they didn’t have to worry about inappropriate dances.”
Julie waved goodbye, and Beth focused her attention on her students. But her sister-in-law’s suggestion began to churn in the back of her mind.
“Okay, ladies, let’s get started. First we have to stretch out all our muscles.”
She noted with interest what each girl had decided to wear. Abby had chosen black tights, leather dance flats and a purple-and-black leotard. Hannah wore bike shorts and a tank top. Chloe proudly wore traditional pink tights and a leotard with a net tutu to match.
Hannah chuckled. “You don’t need a tutu to practice, silly.”
“I don’t care. I want to look like Miss Beth, and that means I have to have a tutu.”
“But she’s not wearing a tutu today,” Abby pointed out.
Beth chuckled and gestured to her all-black dance ensemble with a knee-length wrap skirt.
“You wear what makes you comfortable. And today I’m comfortable looking like a teacher. First we warm up.”
Watching the girls’ excitement as she introduced simple steps and explained various movements chased away her lingering nerves. They were sweet and eager to learn. She’d take her cues from them and use this first class as her barometer to gauge how she would proceed.
An hour later the girls were pulling on their jackets and gathering up their things. The warm glow filling her chest as she watched them brought a smile to her face. Teaching these girls had been more enjoyable than she’d ever expected. Their energy and enthusiasm had filled her with joy. The idea of a dance school didn’t seem like the end of the road, but a possible new bend in it.
Abby and Hannah waved and hurried out the door. Chloe stood at the barre pretending to be on her toes as she waited for her father to pick her up. A flash of light and a soft squeak filled the studio as the door opened and Noah strode in. In his leather jacket, which showed off the breadth of his shoulders, and faded jeans that hugged his muscular legs, he bore little resemblance to the tall, skinny boy she remembered. He grinned in her direction, his blue eyes soft with affection. Her pulse hiccupped. It quickly stilled when she realized his warm welcome was directed at his daughter and not her.
Chloe ran toward him and gave him a quick hug, chattering about what she’d learned. He gave Chloe a pat on the shoulder. “I’m glad you had fun. Why don’t you wait in the car? I want to talk to Miss Beth for a second. I’ll be right there.”
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