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The Cowboy's Family Christmas
Carolyne Aarsen
Holiday Ranch ReunionLeanne Walsh is stunned when Reuben Walsh returns to his family’s ranch for the holidays. No matter how hard she’s tried to convince herself that marrying the more stable Walsh brother was the right decision, it was unpredictable Reuben who held her heart—until he broke it. Leanne’s frosty reception cuts deeper than Reuben expected, yet he can’t leave the widowed single mom short-handed with Christmas drawing near. He built his dreams around Leanne once before, and is trying to resist her and her sweet young son. But in a season full of surprises, the promise of family is a gift too tempting to ignore.Cowboys of Cedar Ridge: Rugged ranchers seek their perfect match


Holiday Ranch Reunion
Leanne Walsh is stunned when Reuben Walsh returns to his family’s ranch for the holidays. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself that marrying the more stable Walsh brother was the right decision, it was unpredictable Reuben who held her heart—until he broke it. Leanne’s frosty reception cuts deeper than Reuben expected, yet he can’t leave the widowed single mom shorthanded with Christmas drawing near. He built his dreams around Leanne once before, and now is trying to resist her and her sweet young son. But in a season full of surprises, the promise of family is a gift too tempting to ignore.
“I need to get to work.”
“Not on your own,” Reuben stated.
“What do you propose I do? Run to the hired-hand store?” Leanne asked.
For the past three years, she had heard nothing from Reuben. A man she had given her heart to and so much more.
And now he’d swooped back into her life and told her what she should and shouldn’t do on a ranch he’d walked away from? A ranch he’d never showed any interest in?
“I could help out until you’re done,” he said.
Her head spun and all she could do was stare at him. Reuben? Working alongside her on the ranch?
She shook her head. “No. That’s not happening. We’ll manage on our own.”
“You won’t and you know it,” he returned.
She fought a confusing mix of anger and loss as she held his dark brown eyes. Eyes she was once lost in.
Focus. He’s not the man you thought he was.
Dear Reader (#u3f51a7ab-80d9-5f9e-ad9e-9b67f6b4e2cf),
This book is about looking for security and seeking forgiveness and healing from the past. Leanne needed to be forgiven for the secret she kept, and Reuben needed to find a way to forgive a father who had hurt him so much in the past. It’s also about secrets and the cost they can have on relationships.
I also wanted to show that forgiveness is a journey, and I hope you, as a reader, realize that this journey is really just the beginning for Reuben and his father.
I hope you enjoyed the book. If you want to learn more about me and my writing, visit my website at www.carolyneaarsen.com (http://www.carolyneaarsen.com) to find out more about my books.
Blessings to you,


CAROLYNE AARSEN and her husband, Richard, live on a small ranch in northern Alberta, where they have raised four children and numerous foster children and are still raising cattle. Carolyne crafts her stories in an office with a large west-facing window, through which she can watch the changing seasons while struggling to make her words obey. Visit her website at carolyneaarsen.com (http://www.carolyneaarsen.com).
The Cowboy’s Family Christmas
Carolyne Aarsen


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
You intended to harm me,
but God intended it for good.
—Genesis 50:20
For my grandkids. You’ve taught me
a whole new huge kind of love.
Contents
Cover (#u538443b3-b980-5335-9568-94e9cb74fcd3)
Back Cover Text (#uabfa3a6c-10ec-5204-9898-0d2dc951a043)
Introduction (#u6348567a-5dd8-5511-a1db-848f5f06747c)
Dear Reader (#u2fc4b2b6-7a8b-5dce-9dd5-420f7618596f)
About the Author (#ub5ce19bd-226a-57dc-ada5-039c67e4041e)
Title Page (#ufb650368-31a1-5b6c-8a6e-dc7f4df87d88)
Bible Verse (#uf695065e-a60f-551e-8c16-09cda0d7ca5d)
Dedication (#u07f849f2-b4f3-5bf8-a893-5f4c41a16345)
Chapter One (#u9f546d8c-2352-5d10-bae7-15be0b178902)
Chapter Two (#ud410018f-4a04-5b5d-bf72-919beef778bc)
Chapter Three (#u0c10fc61-e365-55e7-8822-d15c2c47cba9)
Chapter Four (#ub3ab993c-8628-51be-b70d-8ee5379abdd5)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u3f51a7ab-80d9-5f9e-ad9e-9b67f6b4e2cf)
It was a surprisingly balmy Tuesday for November. Fall seemed reluctant to leave and Leanne Walsh was fine with that. She had too much to do on the ranch.
Late afternoon sunshine softened the day, creating gentle shadows on the Porcupine Hills of Alberta. A chill cooled the air, a threat of winter coming. Leanne hoped it hung off for at least a week. They still had cows to move down from the upper pastures and then had to process them.
Her son, Austin, sat astride the palomino mare his grandfather purchased a half a year ago when Austin was only two. Leanne had protested the expense but George Walsh insisted that Walshes learned to ride a proper horse as young as possible.
Now Austin was laughing down at her, his shock of brown hair falling over his forehead, his chubby hands clutching the saddle horn, the cowboy hat he’d gotten a couple of weeks ago clamped firmly on his head. Since George had given it to Austin, he’d worn it nonstop.
“He looks comfortable up there.” George stood by the fence, his arms hooked over the top rail, his battered cowboy hat pushed back on his head. Though he was only fifty-eight, Leanne’s father-in-law looked twenty years older.
Life had knocked a lot out of the man, Leanne thought, acknowledging his gruff comment with a tight nod. He’d lost his first wife to cancer and was left with a young son, then he was abandoned by the second wife, leaving him with another young son. Dirk, his eldest son and Leanne’s late husband, now lay buried in the graveyard abutting the church in Cedar Ridge, and the son of his second marriage, Reuben was so far out of George’s life, he may as well be dead.
“Is that mare favoring her one leg?” George asked, concern edging his voice.
Leanne watched more carefully as the horse walked, each footfall of Heart’s Delight’s hooves raising small puffs of dust in the round pen. “I can’t see it,” she said glancing up at her son again, the sight of him pulling her mouth into a full smile. “But I’ll keep an eye out.”
“Not always easy for someone like you to catch that kind of thing.”
Someone like you.
Though Leanne knew he spoke of her ability to read horses, those three simple words had the power to make her shoulders hunch and her hands clench the halter rope.
Those three words held a weight of history behind them. George had tossed them at her when he discovered that she, a Rennie, daughter of one of the most hated and useless men in Cedar Ridge, dared to think she could date his favored son, Dirk Walsh, let alone marry him.
“I know enough about horses to see if one is lame or not,” she finally returned. “And if you have any further concerns, we can bring it to see Tabitha or Morgan.” Her sister held an equine specialist degree and her fiancé, Morgan Walsh, was a vet. Together they were starting a new vet clinic on some acreage Tabitha owned close to town.
“Morgan doesn’t even have his clinic done yet,” George groused.
“It will be. But for now they can still diagnose any problems Heart’s Delight might have.”
George’s only reply was a slight curl of his lip and she fought the urge to defend her sister. Leanne knew it was only because of her marriage to Dirk and because of his grandson, Austin, that George tolerated her presence.
Which had made her even more determined to prove herself to him. Prove she was worthy. As a result she spent every available minute working on the ranch. Showing that she could ride and rope better than any hired hand they had, including their latest, Chad. She did the bookkeeping and dealt with the accountant.
“Is Chad coming again tomorrow?” Leanne asked.
Their new hired hand had started a couple of days ago but hadn’t come to work yesterday and called in sick today. Which made her wonder if she would have to start looking for another hired hand all over again.
“He said he would. Though I don’t know why you hired him. He doesn’t know much about cows or horses,” George grumbled.
“He’s willing and I think he can be trained.” She wanted to say more but the sound of a truck engine caught both their attentions.
The ranch was nestled in a valley, well off the main road snaking through the hills. People arriving at the ranch had to drive along a switchback road that traversed the hill leading down to the ranch. If they didn’t know the road, it could be trouble. And this person was driving far too fast.
“Idiot is going to overshoot the second turn,” George muttered, pushing away from the fence, irritation edging his voice. “Probably some salesman who doesn’t know how to drive his fancy truck in the back of the beyond.”
But whoever it was seemed to know the road because, in spite of the speed of the vehicle, the truck easily made it around the corner and then down the tree-lined road toward the ranch. It suddenly slowed at the cattle guard, and as it rattled across, unease niggled through Leanne.
Though the driver seemed familiar with the approach to the Bar W Ranch, Leanne didn’t recognize the black truck with the gleaming grill getting coated with dust.
It made the tight bend past the house, then came toward the corrals. As the driver killed the engine, silence fell again.
The door opened and a tall, broad-shouldered man stepped out wearing a cowboy hat over his collar-length hair. Sunglasses shaded his face and he dropped a cell phone into the pocket of a worn twill shirt, the sleeves rolled up over muscular forearms. Faded blue jeans hugged his hips and his boots were scuffed and worn at the heel.
He started walking toward them with the easy rolling gait of a man who had spent time on a horse. Definitely not a salesman.
“Can I help you?” George asked, the irritation in his voice shifting to aggression.
Leanne groaned. Please, Lord, she prayed as she led Austin and his horse to the rail fence, don’t let this be one of the officials from the association who promised to come and visit someday.
Seeing George in full-on Walsh mode wouldn’t help their cause. She was the temporary secretary for the Cedar Ridge Rodeo Group. For the past couple years the group had tried to get their town’s rodeo to be a part of the larger Milk River Rodeo Association. They needed all the goodwill they could muster.
“This is private land,” George continued as the man drew closer.
“Here, punkin, why don’t you come down?” Leanne asked, tying up the horse and reaching for Austin. She had to intervene before George took a notion to grab the shotgun stashed in the barn behind them.
Leanne lifted her son over the fence, clambered over herself, picked Austin up, then hurried over to where her father-in-law stood, hands planted on his hips, head thrust forward in an aggressive gesture. “What’s your business here?” George growled.
But the stranger was unfazed by George’s belligerence. A slow smile crawled across his well-shaped mouth, shaded by a scruff of whiskers, and the unease in Leanne grew.
“Hey, George,” the man said, sweeping his sunglasses off, tucking them in the pocket of his shirt and flicking his cowboy hat back. “Been a few years.”
Leanne’s legs suddenly went numb. Her heart turned to ice at the sound of that voice. At the sight of those brown eyes, crinkled at the corners.
Reuben Walsh.
Prodigal son come home.
And right behind all her initial reactions came a wave of anger so fierce it threatened to swamp her.
* * *
Reuben Walsh had known his father wouldn’t throw out the welcome mat when he saw him nor kill the fatted calf when he arrived. And he had guessed Leanne wouldn’t be thrilled either.
But the blatant rage in her narrowed eyes was unexpected.
The last time he’d seen her, she’d been lying in a hospital bed, her auburn hair tied up in a tangled ponytail he knew would have driven her crazy. Leanne always wore her thick hair loose, hanging halfway down her back. Always had her nails perfectly done. Always looked amazing even in the simple clothes she tended to wear.
But at that time she lay unconscious, her pale features slack as if she were as dead as her husband, Dirk, was. His brother, Dirk.
She and Dirk had been on their way back from their honeymoon after a quick and unexpected wedding that happened before Reuben had flown back to Cedar Ridge.
To propose to Leanne himself.
He stopped in at the hospital to see her after his brother’s funeral, stood by her bed, the angry questions swirling around his mind unable to be asked, and then he left. Taking his ring and his broken heart with him. He hadn’t been back since. Nor had he and Leanne been in contact.
What could they possibly have to say to each other?
“Hey, Leanne,” he said, surprised at the hitch in his voice when their eyes met.
To his surprise and disappointment, old feelings gripped his heart.
For years she had occupied his waking thoughts and drifted through his dreams. Now here she stood, Dirk’s widow, with his nephew resting on her hip. Two reminders of the distance between them.
“Hey, Reuben.”
Her voice was cool and clipped. He felt his own ire rise up, wondering what right she had to be bent out of shape.
“What are you doing here?” His father’s gruff voice grated and once again Reuben fought the old inferiority his father always created in him.
When Reuben received the email from Owen Herne, chairman of the Cedar Ridge Rodeo Group, asking him to assess the unfinished arena for them, he’d been tempted to delete it. He had no desire to return to Cedar Ridge and face the woman he had loved, now the widow of his forever-favored older brother. And why would he deliberately put himself in the line of his father’s constant disapproval? He had lived with that long enough when he was a teenager.
The last time he was in Cedar Ridge was three years ago to attend his brother’s funeral. George had been so bitter, he hadn’t acknowledged Reuben’s presence. No personal greeting. No question about how he was doing. No recognition of Reuben’s own pain at the loss of a brother.
As for Leanne, she’d still been unconscious and in the hospital. While seeing her so incapacitated had gutted him, in some twisted way it was probably for the best. Reuben wouldn’t have known what to say to her after she’d left him for his brother.
But the tiny part of him that still clung to hope pushed him to come home.
“Owen asked me to come talk to the Rodeo Group. About the arena,” Reuben said, determined not to let these two show how much influence they had over his life and emotions.
“He never said anything to me,” George complained.
“You’ll have to take that up with him,” Reuben said, trying to keep his tone light and conversational. “But the ranch was on my way to town. I thought I would stop by and say hello.”
“It’s been a long time since you were here,” George said.
On this point Reuben couldn’t fault him, though he stifled a beat of resentment at his father’s frowning disapproval. Didn’t matter what he did when he was growing up, George criticized him.
Come home with good marks?
Well, he could have done better.
Ride the rankest bronc in the rodeo?
Could have scored higher.
Never as good as his brother. Never as good as Dirk.
“It has been a while,” Reuben agreed. He wasn’t apologizing for his lack. As the son of the wife who had taken off, Reuben often felt his father held him to account for his mother’s behavior. And Reuben had taken that on, as well, always trying to find ways to earn his gruff father’s approval.
But it never happened. In fact George had made it clear Dirk would take over the ranch when he was old enough and that there was no place for Reuben in spite of all the work he had done here year after year. Reuben left home as soon as he graduated high school. He rode rodeo in the summer and took on any odd job to help pay for his structural engineering classes. He was determined to show his father he could go it alone. Now he had a degree and had already racked up some impressive jobs. Though his heart had always been here in Cedar Ridge, once he discovered that Dirk and Leanne had had a baby, he shelved any hope of coming back.
His eyes drifted again to Leanne, the woman who, at one time, he had dared to weave dreams and plans around.
“So, here we are,” he said.
Instead of responding, she set his nephew, Austin, on his feet and clung to his chubby little hand. She adjusted the little cowboy hat he wore, then glanced over at George.
Looking everywhere but at him as a tense silence fell between them.
Since she’d moved here with her sister, Tabitha, and her father when she was in high school, Leanne Rennie had only had eyes for his older brother, Dirk. And he knew why. Dirk was the good brother. Steady. Solid. Dependable. A Christian.
Reuben knew exactly who he was. The irresponsible younger brother who could only worship Leanne from afar.
Though Leanne had dated his brother for years and been engaged to Dirk for four of them, Reuben had never been able to completely let go of his feelings for her.
But Dirk held off on setting a wedding date for four years. Then, as if she couldn’t wait any longer, Leanne broke up with Dirk. His brother left for Europe, and he and Leanne met up at his cousin’s destination wedding in Costa Rica. They’d spent two glorious weeks together. She’d confessed that, while she had always wanted the security Dirk could offer, she had a hard time denying her changing feelings for Reuben.
They decided they wanted to be together but she had said that she needed to tell Dirk first. Reuben couldn’t figure out why, but he gave Leanne the space she asked for.
Then when Dirk came back from his trip, the next thing he heard, via his cousin Cord, was that Dirk and Leanne had eloped. Reuben was devastated, hurt, then the anger kicked in and he threw himself into his work. He was determined to prove he didn’t need anyone. That he could be successful.
And he had accomplished that. In two weeks he would be starting with a company that promised him prestige and financial independence.
He thought he had put Leanne out of his mind for good, but seeing her now, even more beautiful than he remembered, created an unwelcome hitch in his heart.
In the uncomfortable silence that lingered, a bird warbled, and the wind rustled through the trees sheltering the house beyond them. No one said anything more.
“Well, just thought I’d stop by and say hi.” He looked away from his father and Leanne, then crouched down in front of Austin. “And I thought I would get to know you, little guy. I’m your uncle Reuben.”
Austin pursed his lips, frowning slightly, as if he didn’t believe he had an uncle.
The idea that his only nephew didn’t even know who he was cut almost as deep as Leanne’s chilly attitude.
“Wooben,” Austin said finally. “Uncle Wooben.”
“That’s right.”
Austin stared at him then pointed at Reuben’s hat, then his own, looking proud. “My hat. I have my hat.”
“It’s a pretty cool hat,” Reuben agreed.
But then Austin looked up at Leanne, no longer interested in his uncle. “Firsty, Mommy.”
“We’ll get something in a minute, sweetheart.” Leanne hesitated, then glanced over at Reuben, her eyes barely skimming over him. “Would you like some tea?”
“He might not have time,” his father said, as if Reuben was no more than a salesman whom George felt he had to be polite to.
Reuben pushed himself up, glancing from his father back to Leanne. He guessed her invitation was more a formality than anything. That his father could be so cool to him he fully understood. Nothing new there.
But Leanne? The woman he had, at one time, thought would be his?
“No. I should get going,” Reuben said, fighting down his own resentment and anger.
Good thing the opinion of other people had never mattered to him. Otherwise this could have been a genuinely painful moment.
“Will you be coming by again?” his father asked.
“I’ll have to see how things go” was all he would say. No sense in pushing himself on either his father or his sister-in-law if he didn’t have to.
George turned to Leanne. “I’m going back to the house.”
Then without another word to Reuben, he walked away, shoulders bent, head down.
He looked much older than the last time Reuben had seen him, and in spite of his father’s lack of welcome and veiled animosity, Reuben felt the sting of remorse that he’d stayed away so long.
It wasn’t your fault.
Maybe not, but he should have been the bigger man. Should have set aside the old hurts and slights. In spite of how George treated him, he was still Reuben’s father.
He set aside his regrets for now and looked to Leanne, guessing he would get neither handshake nor hug from her. Not the way she stared daggers at him. As if she had any right.
“So we might see you around?” she asked. The chill in her voice almost made him shudder.
But then, to his surprise, she held his gaze a beat longer than necessary and once again the old feelings came back.
“I’m sure. It’s a small town,” he returned, then he turned to Austin and gave the little boy a quick grin. “So, I’ll see you again,” he said to his nephew.
“Bring a present?” Austin asked.
“Austin, that’s not polite.” Leanne gave her son’s hand a gentle reprimanding shake.
“I should have thought of that,” Reuben said with a light laugh. “After all, I am your uncle and uncles should come with presents.”
“I like horses. My dad liked horses.”
Reuben’s heart twisted. Once again his and Leanne’s eyes met.
“I never had a chance to tell you how sorry I was to hear about Dirk,” he said, thumbing his hat back. As if to see her better.
“He was your brother too.” Leanne’s voice held a thread of sorrow and for a moment they acknowledged their shared grief.
“He was a good brother. And I’m sure he was a good husband.”
Leanne released a harsh laugh. “I hardly had the chance to find out. We were only married two weeks.” She pressed her lips together and Reuben took a quick step toward her. Before he even knew what he was doing he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, tightening it enough to let her know that he understood.
She stayed where she was a moment, but then jerked back, her features growing hard. She turned to Austin. “I’ll get you a drink, sweetie, but first we should put your horse away.”
Then she left, Austin trailing alongside her, her head held high, back stiff, exuding waves of rejection.
“Bye, Uncle Wooben,” Austin called out, looking back.
Reuben waved goodbye. It was time for him to leave but he waited, watching Leanne as she walked down the grassy path toward the corrals where a horse stood, waiting patiently. She told Austin to stay where he was as she climbed over the fence.
He wanted to ask her why she thought she had the right to be so angry with him when she was the one who’d run back to his brother as soon as Dirk came back into her life. Ask her what happened to those promises they made to each other in Costa Rica. When she had told him that she’d always cared for him.
Had they all been lies?
He spun around, striding back to his truck. That duty was done. He wished he had listened to the realistic part of himself and simply driven past this place and the two people who didn’t want him around.
Reuben slipped his sunglasses on and climbed into his truck. He started it up and, without a backward glance, drove off the ranch that had been his home for years.
He and Leanne were over. He had to look to his own future.
And as he drove, he second-guessed his plan to work in Cedar Ridge for the Rodeo Group.
He glanced back at the ranch as it grew smaller in his rearview mirror.
Why should he put himself through this on purpose?
He would talk to Owen Herne. Tell him he wasn’t taking on the job. He had no reason at all to stay in town.
Tomorrow he’d leave and Cedar Ridge would only be a memory.
Chapter Two (#u3f51a7ab-80d9-5f9e-ad9e-9b67f6b4e2cf)
“I know I put you on the spot, but I don’t have much choice.” Reuben rolled his coffee cup back and forth between his hands, looking everywhere but at his cousin Cord and his Uncle Boyce sitting across from him at the Brand and Grill. “I can’t do this job.”
The muted hum of conversation and the occasional order called out by Adana, one of the waitresses, filled the silence that followed his pronouncement.
Cord Walsh lifted one hand, his green-grey eyes narrowed. “You said you were willing,” he said. “We could have gotten someone else, but you said you could do this. We don’t have much time to get this done.”
“I know that, but I also know what I can and can’t do.”
“Did your other job get moved up?” Boyce asked, swiping his plate with the last bite of toast. “That why you changed your mind?”
“No. It still doesn’t start for a couple of weeks but...” He hesitated, wondering what to say without sounding like some heartsick loser. “I don’t think coming back was a good idea.” He pushed his coffee cup away from him and sat back, as well. He didn’t want to say any more than that in front of his uncle, George’s brother.
Boyce was busy taking one last swig of his coffee. But Cord held his gaze for an extra beat as if delving into Reuben’s thoughts.
If anyone knew Reuben’s history, it was his cousin. Cord knew most of Reuben’s secrets. Most, not all. The only other cousin who understood where Reuben was coming from was Noah. He also had to deal with a father who was never satisfied.
“Okay, then,” Cord said with an air of resignation, glancing at his father. “I’m guessing we can’t change your mind with our Walsh charm or appeal to your Walsh heritage.”
Reuben chuckled. “Probably not. I’m immune to those tactics.” Then he reached into the pocket of his denim jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He pushed it across the table to Cord. “Here are the names of a couple of other guys you could get. They haven’t made any firm commitments and they won’t be available for a month or so. But they’re good too.” After his disastrous visit to his father’s ranch, Reuben had made a few calls from the motel to some other engineers he knew. He got a couple of vague commitments from some old classmates. It was the best he could do under the circumstances.
“So tell us about this job you’re starting,” Boyce said, looking up as Cord pocketed the note. Clearly his uncle wasn’t going to try to convince Reuben to stay. “I haven’t heard anything about it from George.”
Reuben wasn’t surprised. He knew George didn’t talk often about him. “It’s a good position with a prestigious international engineering firm. I’d be my own boss, which is what I’ve been looking for since I graduated,” Reuben said, thankful for his uncle’s switch in topic. He didn’t want to expound on the real reasons he was leaving. Leanne and Austin, the visible reminder of her betrayal of Reuben. “I’ll be making good money and I’ll be traveling around the world doing some big jobs. What’s not to like?”
“And there’s no one in your life right now who would object to all the moving around?” Boyce asked.
Reuben shook his head. “Nope. Haven’t met anyone who created any sparks.”
“I get where you’re coming from,” Cord said. “I think Ella and I had sparks the first time we met.”
“Didn’t help that Adana had just quit as your nanny and you were ticked off,” Boyce said with a laugh.
“There was more than that going on.” Cord grinned and then his phone dinged. He glanced at it, then back at Reuben. “I gotta deal with this. Are you leaving today?”
Reuben nodded. The sooner the better.
“Then I’ll say goodbye.”
“I’m heading out too,” Boyce said, “Though I wouldn’t mind sticking around and talking more, I sense you want to get a move on.” He gave Reuben a rueful smile, which, more than anything either of them had said, made Reuben second-guess his decision.
But then he thought of Leanne’s anger and his father’s lack of affection, and he knew he wasn’t ready to put himself in that vulnerable position.
“Much as I’d like to connect with some of the other cousins, I feel I should get going.”
Cord got up the same time Reuben did and pulled him close in a quick, man hug then stepped back, holding his gaze. “You stay safe and don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t,” he said.
Then Boyce dropped some bills on the table to pay for breakfast, got up and gave him a tighter hug than Cord had. “I’ve been praying for you,” he said as he pulled back. “You and your father.”
Reuben felt a twinge of guilt at the sentiment. After Dirk’s funeral and Leanne’s betrayal, he had kept his distance from God. Only in the past few months had he realized how much he missed his faith and started attending church again.
“Thanks. I probably need it,” he said, keeping his tone light.
“You’ll be back for my wedding, won’t you?” Cord asked as they made their way out of the restaurant.
“I hope so. I’ll have to see what my new work schedule is. I’ll be needing to impress some big investors.”
“This job sounds serious,” Boyce said as he slowly made his way down the few steps out of the café. “And important.”
“I’ve got a lot riding on it and the pay is amazing.” This job was his chance to prove to himself that he had value. Worth.
“Well, you know, it’s a cliché but money isn’t everything,” Boyce said.
“No, but it’s a fairly universal measuring stick. One that your brother, George, understands.”
Cord gave him a curious look but Reuben wasn’t delving deeper into the past. He had a promising future ahead of him and in spite of feeling bad that he had let his cousin and his uncle down, he had to move on. Staying in Cedar Ridge wasn’t an option.
“Well, you take care. Stay in touch and don’t be such a stranger.”
Reuben nodded as he buttoned his denim jacket closed. The wind still held a chill. It was cooler than yesterday and as he walked down the street to his truck, he shivered as he thought of California, where he would be headquartered.
It would be warm there. No snow and no winter. Just sun and warmth and work.
Boyce and Cord said goodbye and left.
Reuben watched them leave and felt a twinge of melancholy when they both laughed at something Cord had said. How often had he longed for a relationship like his cousin and uncle shared?
He shook off the feelings, walked to his truck, drove down Main Street, then headed to the highway out of town.
But as he drove away from Cedar Ridge, he tried not to think that he might not be back for a very, very long time.
His father’s ranch was on his way out of town, and as he came nearer he was tempted to keep going. Drive on into his future and leave the past behind. But he knew guilt and second thoughts would follow him all the way back to Calgary, so he slowed as he came to the wooden and stone archway leading to the ranch. Hanging from the cross bar was the ranch’s brand, stamped on a metal disc. The Bar W. And with it hung the weight of the Walsh legacy and their prominence in the community of Cedar Ridge.
This was driven home when he drove up to the imposing bulk of the ranch house once again. It was built to impress and easily fulfilled that promise. The house spread out and upward, two stories high. The main part of the house, directly in front of him, held the main living area. Kitchen, great room, family room, formal dining room, kitchen nook. Two wings stretched out from the main house. One wing held the master bedroom, a media room, an office and a guest bedroom. The other was where Reuben and Dirk had slept and also had an extra bedroom.
Reuben’s mother had often said that the family rattled around in the large space. She was right, but the space also gave Reuben places to retreat to after his mother left. Away from George’s steady criticism.
Reuben parked on the cement pad in front of the large, four-bay garage, guessing that Leanne and George’s vehicles were inside.
He stayed in the truck a moment, taking a breath, readying himself to face them again. At least this time he was prepared.
He got out of the truck and strode to the house. But when he rang the doorbell no one answered. He put his head inside and called out, but again, only silence.
Puzzled he walked past the house and the gardens Dirk’s mother had started, surprised to see them all cleaned up and obviously cared for. His mother had never cared for them and they had been taken over by weeds and neglect.
Leanne must have revived the garden. He remembered how she had often wished she could fix it up when she and Dirk were dating.
He stopped again, listening for voices. Maybe they were all gone. He went a little farther and as he came over the rise separating the ranch house from the corrals, he heard the distinctive lowing of cattle and the bawl of baby calves.
He walked around the grove of trees between the garden behind the house and the cow corrals lying in a hollow tucked against the hill the house stood on.
The sound of shouting and the bellowing of cows grew louder as he got closer. Some cows stood in the pasture along the rugged fence, bawling for their calves, which had been separated from them in another large pen.
The rest of the cows were on the other side, milling about, creating a cloud of dust as they waited to be processed.
That’s when he saw her. Leanne was mounted on a large palomino, wearing a down vest, her hair tied back. Her hat was shoved on her head and she waved a coil of rope as she pushed the horse into a crush of bawling animals, cutting some away.
What was she doing? That was dangerous work. She could be hurt. There were far too many cows in the pen. Why was she working with them?
An unfamiliar man stood by a gate connected to another smaller pen. Clearly his job was to open the gate when enough cows were cut out of the herd. A younger man sat astride a horse, a ball cap clamped over his dark hair.
“Devin, get over there,” he heard his father yelling. Big surprise. Dad’s default emotion was anger. “Stop being so ridiculously lazy and help out,” he bellowed again from his position on the raised walkway by the fenced-in alley adjacent the pen.
He sounded so angry. If George wasn’t careful, he would have a heart attack someday. Reuben hurried his pace to see if he could help out. Leanne shouldn’t be doing what she was.
She was on one edge of the milling cattle, keeping them moving; Devin was working his way through the herd.
But when George yelled again, the young man pulled his horse to a stop, leaning on his saddle horn as if making a decision.
“Get in there,” his father shouted, looking ready to climb over the fence and help out himself. “Get those cows moving.”
The young man named Devin kept his horse where it was, then finally he made a move.
Only it wasn’t into the cattle to help Leanne cut some out. It was in the other direction. Away from the cows.
Toward the gate leading out of the pen.
As he came closer, Reuben easily saw the angry set of the young man’s jaw, the determined way he urged his horse toward the large metal gate separating the cows from one of the pastures. He dismounted and unlatched the gate, ignoring Leanne’s cries and George’s fury. His movements were rushed and jerky, the chain clanking against the gate. It was as if he couldn’t contain himself any longer.
He had Reuben’s complete sympathy. Reuben knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of George’s demands. Never feeling like the job you were doing was good enough. Always getting pushed to do more. He wondered how long this young man had worked for his father.
“Devin. Where are you going?” Leanne called out, the concern in her voice evident from here.
“Get back here, Devin,” George yelled. “Get back here or you’re fired.”
“You can’t fire me,” Devin shouted back, his voice filled with rage as he shoved open the gate, “because I quit.”
Then Devin led his horse through the open gate.
But he hadn’t looked behind him. Reuben could easily see what the young man, in his fury, had missed.
A group of cows and calves had followed Devin and his horse and were right behind him as he turned to close the gate.
Too late he noticed the animals and struggled to shut the gate on them. But by then the cows were already pushing past him to freedom. Devin jumped back, pulling his horse back, the cows now streaming out of the gate.
From what Reuben remembered, if the cows got away, they would run toward the open fields behind the ranch and from there up into the foothill pastures, which were spread out over hundreds and hundreds of acres. If they got too far out, it would take days to round them up again. Maybe even longer once the cows had gotten their taste of freedom.
“Devin, close that gate,” George yelled, leaning over the fence, his face purple. “Close the gate, you useless twerp.”
But Devin had given up and was leading his horse away from the herd flowing through the gate.
Reuben grabbed hold of a fence post and clambered over in his hurry to catch the gate and stop the rest of the cows from getting out. But it was hard to halt the press of all those large bodies and too dangerous.
“What did you do?” he called out to Devin, who was ignoring the herd racing past him as he walked along the fence.
“I quit.” Devin muttered as Reuben tried to get by him. “George is a maniac boss.”
“Is that your own horse?” Reuben asked as the cows, increasing in number, now thundered past them.
“No. Belongs to the ranch.”
That’s all he needed to know. Reuben yanked the reins out of Devin’s hand, did a quick assessment of the young man’s height. They were about the same. The stirrups should be okay.
Then he vaulted into the saddle, turned the horse around, nudged him in the flanks and galloped off to head off the cows before they got too far away.
It was a race and Reuben had to be careful not to get too close to the cows and get them running even faster. He heard Leanne’s shout and tossed a quick glance over his shoulder to see her following on horseback behind him, making a wide loop around the herd like he had.
All he could hear now was the thundering of the cows’ hooves, the steady rhythm of the horse’s, its hard breathing and Leanne shouting something indecipherable.
* * *
She needed to catch up to Reuben. Leanne gripped the reins of her horse, urging it on, fighting to stay in the saddle of the racing horse.
She shoved down a beat of panic as she galloped alongside the now running herd going faster than she thought possible.
She didn’t have time to plan. All she could concentrate on was getting the herd turned around before they got too far ahead. Could they do it with two horses? She’d never handled a charging herd before.
Please, Lord, help me keep my seat. Help me not fall off.
Her prayer was automatic. She didn’t want to disgrace herself in front of either Reuben, who seemed to be one with the horse he rode, or George, who had seemed on the verge of having a heart attack when the cows had surged through the open gate.
She was so angry with Devin, but right now she couldn’t spare him much thought.
Slowly the gap between their horses lessened and, to her surprise and relief, Reuben managed to get his horse in front of the lead cows. He waved his hat at the herd as he pulled his horse’s speed in.
Please don’t split, she silently pleaded as she came behind Reuben, trying to gauge the correct distance between her and Reuben and the cows. Too close and she would spook the herd. Too far back and some of the cows might go right between them and they’d have two bunches to worry about.
Thankfully they stayed together, calves bawling, cows bellowing and dust rising up from the milling hooves.
Reuben made it to the front of the herd and slowly, slowly their forward momentum decreased. Reuben waved his hat again, yelling to get the cows turned. But the animals behind didn’t know what was happening and kept running through, ramming into the cows in the front. This spooked them again and Leanne hurried to join Reuben at the front to hold the herd back.
But finally the animals seemed to sense they weren’t going to carry on and the herd slowed its pace, Reuben and Leanne keeping up.
“Don’t get too close,” Reuben called out. “Stay far enough away that they can see you but not get scared again.”
Leanne nodded, pulling her horse back.
Reuben waved his arm at the cows again and they stopped. “Get beside me but stay about ten feet away,” he shouted to Leanne. “Turn your horse toward the cows and keep it facing them.”
Leanne simply did what she was told. Reuben had herded far more cows than she had and knew what he was doing.
So she turned her horse around, her heart pounding in her chest with a mixture of fear and anticipation as she faced down the herd in front of her. The cows had their heads up as if looking for a way out. What would happen now depended on the decision of the lead cows.
“Get along, you creatures,” Reuben yelled, waving his hat at them again. Leanne had left her rope behind and her hat had tumbled off somewhere in the pasture so she waved her hands, praying it would help.
Then, together, they managed to get the front cows turned back toward the corrals and, thankfully, the others reluctantly followed suit.
The herd pushed and bawled as they made their way back, expressing their disappointment and confusion.
“You keep pressure on the herd, I’ll make sure they stay bunched,” Reuben called out.
Again all Leanne could do was nod.
A few calves made a break from the herd, heading for the upper pastures but Reuben quickly got them back, his horse easily stopping and turning them around.
Thankfully his horse was a seasoned cutting horse and Reuben knew what he was doing.
The cattle had their heads down now, plodding along the way cows should be moving. Leanne sneezed on the dust raised by the herd walking over the fields that were once green. She shivered as the worst of the drama was over.
Reuben was still working the one side of the herd as the animals headed back to the corrals. She knew they would face another challenge when they came to the gate, but hopefully the bale of hay she’d put inside the pen to lure them in the first place would draw them back again. The pasture they were riding on now was brown and chewed down so there was nothing to entice them here, though a few cows slowed to check it out.
As they got closer to the yard, she saw the gate was still open. George was on the other side of the fence, holding it with a rope to make sure it didn’t swing shut. He also knew what to do.
Then, finally, the first cows went through the gate.
“Push them harder,” Reuben called out, whistling at the cows. “We need to get them moving fast enough so the front ones get pushed farther into the corrals and don’t decide to turn around when they reach the end.”
Leanne clucked to her horse, urging the cows on, and then, finally, they were all back in the corrals and the large metal gate clanged shut behind them.
Her hands were shaking as she unclenched the reins and pulled in a long, steadying breath. They had come so close to a complete disaster.
If Reuben hadn’t been there right when Devin quit...
She shut that thought off. She didn’t know why Reuben had returned, but he had, and right now she was relieved to have the cows safely back in the pen. It had taken her and Devin and Chad two days to round them up the first time. She knew if the cows had gotten out to the far pasture, it would have taken them a lot longer to convince them to come back.
“Good job, Leanne,” George said as she sat, her breath shaky, her pulse still pounding.
She acknowledged his rare compliment with a duck of her head, then grabbed her horse’s reins and turned back toward the herd.
“What are you doing?” Reuben called out.
“Getting these cows processed.” Time was wasting. George would be furious as it was, no sense making him angrier.
“No. You need to get your bearings. Your horse needs to rest a moment. Shift its mindset.”
Leanne fought down frustration that she hadn’t thought of that. Though her horse was breathing heavily, she knew the run hadn’t worn it out. But it had put it in a racing frame of mind, as Reuben had said. She needed to settle it down.
So she nodded her acknowledgment of what he said, pulled in another breath and exerted a gentle but steady pressure on the reins to hold her horse in. He seemed to understand what she wanted and stopped its prancing and shifting, settling down and lowering its head.
Reuben brought his horse alongside hers, talking to it in a low voice, settling it down, as well.
Up until now Leanne’s focus had been on the cows, on staying atop her horse, on keeping things under control.
But now that the crisis had been averted, she was far too aware of Reuben beside her, petting his horse, rewarding it, looking as if he hadn’t just faced down fifty cow and calf pairs racing for the back of the beyond.
“So what’s next?” he asked, shoving his cowboy hat back up his head with the knuckle of his forefinger, giving her a quizzical look.
She fought down a whirl of confusion, letting her old anger with him surface. How could he act so casual? As if they hadn’t shared so much? Been through so much?
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out.
He looked taken aback, but then his features hardened, reflecting her own churning emotions.
“I came to say goodbye.”
“You’re leaving?” She shouldn’t be surprised. It was what he did best. “What about the arena?”
“I told Cord he needed to find someone else to do the assessment.” His horse did a turn away, restless now, but Reuben got it turned to face the cows. In the process he ended up even closer to Leanne and her horse.
“Why are you here?” George called out, joining them.
“So nice to be made welcome,” Reuben muttered, his jaw clenched. He turned to his father. “Like I was saying to Leanne, I just stopped in to say goodbye and came into the middle of this mess.”
“Sure. Yeah.” George turned away from him and back to Leanne. “Chad is still here. Guess we should get going.” He walked away from them, heading back to the head gate.
Leanne nodded, trying hard not to look at her watch. She had told Shauntelle to drop Austin off at suppertime. If it were only her and Chad and George, sorting these cows would take longer.
“You can’t do this alone.”
Reuben’s tone rubbed her completely wrong. So full of authority. But his words were, unfortunately, correct.
“Done it before,” she snapped. “Can do it again.”
“Not without Devin.”
She didn’t need to be reminded of that particular betrayal. Though she didn’t blame the kid, it was still lousy timing on Devin’s part that he quit right now. This was only the first batch of cows they needed to work through. In the coming week they needed to get the rest of the cows down off the upper pastures, process and wean them. On top of that, she had committed to taking minutes at a meeting of the Rodeo Group. She had too much to do and not enough help to do it now that Devin was gone.
But she wasn’t going to admit that to Reuben.
She turned to him, fighting a confusing mix of anger and loss as she held his dark brown eyes. Eyes she had once found herself lost in.
Focus. He’s not the man you thought he was.
“So I guess this is goodbye,” she said, turning away from him, determined not to let him see how he affected her. “I need to get to work.”
“Not on your own.”
“What do you propose I do? Run to the hired-hand store?” She couldn’t keep the snappy tone out of her voice.
She’d heard nothing for the past three years from this man. A man she had given her heart to and so much more.
And now he swoops back into her life and tells her what she should and shouldn’t do on a ranch he walked away from? A ranch he never showed any interest in?
“I could help out until you’re done,” he said.
All she could do was stare at him. Reuben? Working alongside her on the ranch?
She shook her head. “No. That’s not happening. We’ll manage on our own.”
“You won’t and you know it,” he returned. It wasn’t too hard to hear the annoyance in his voice.
Well, she didn’t care. He had no right to be frustrated with her.
Leanne closed her eyes, trying to bring her focus back to what needed to be done and how she could swing it.
She couldn’t have him around. She didn’t want to live in the past with its pain and resentment. She wanted to move on.
Then she heard the jangle of his horse’s bit and when she opened her eyes again he was already moving his horse into the herd, calling out to George.
“How many do you want at a time?”
“Send me ten pairs,” George was saying. “But don’t get too fussed if cows and calves get separated.”
A chill shot through her as she heard George give Reuben directions.
“I don’t think we need his help,” she called out to George, anger blending with fear.
“Too late,” Reuben tossed over his shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere until this job is done.”
Chapter Three (#u3f51a7ab-80d9-5f9e-ad9e-9b67f6b4e2cf)
“Send them through now, Reuben. Keep them moving.”
Reuben ignored his father’s barked commands and pushed the last of the cows into the pen keeping his horse right behind the last cow. He nodded for Chad to shut the gate. The poor guy looked exhausted, but then so did Leanne. She was slouched in her saddle now, wiping her face with a hanky. She had lost her hat in the race to get ahead of the cows. Her hair hung in a lank ponytail down her back, loose strands sticking to her flushed face.
“Chad, come over here and help me get these cows done,” his father called out.
Reuben leaned on his saddle, watching poor Chad clambering over the fence and joining his father on the walkway to help finish needling the cows. Beyond them, in the second, much-larger pen, the cows and calves were finally settled, munching on the hay. Once the rest of the cows were through, the work was done for the day.
He arched his back, working out a kink, then slowly dismounted. He was going to feel every single muscle in his hips and legs tomorrow. He hadn’t ridden in years and yet was surprised how quickly the old skills came back.
Leanne got off her horse, as well. She slipped the reins over the horse’s head then walked her horse toward him.
Her expression was guarded as she trudged through the pen. Once again he struggled with her angry reaction to his presence. Where did that come from and what right did she have to be upset with him? She was the one who had betrayed him. Marrying his brother while he was giving her the space she said she needed.
“This is just the first bunch?” he asked as she joined him, her horse heaving a heavy sigh as if the day had been too long for him, as well.
“Yeah. We’ve got eighty more head up in the higher pastures.”
“Shouldn’t this have been done a month ago?” he asked, stretching his neck. “Time isn’t on your side.”
“We’ve been fortunate.” Her voice held an edge of tension, which annoyed him.
“Considering your main hand just quit, I wouldn’t say that.”
“It’s a glitch,” she snapped.
“So you figure on gathering them tomorrow?”
“I can’t. Your father and I have a meeting with the Cedar Ridge Rodeo Group tomorrow. It will have to wait until Friday.”
“The weather is only going to cooperate so long,” he said, struggling to keep his frustration down.
“I checked the forecast. We have a week of good weather ahead of us.” The anger in her voice wasn’t hard to miss.
“I’m trying to help,” he said.
“Now?” Leanne’s eyes narrowed. Then she seemed to gather her emotions. “I’m sorry. I appreciate what you just did.”
He just nodded, realizing from the tension in her voice how difficult the apology was for her.
“I couldn’t very well leave you hanging.”
Reuben led his horse through a gate on the far side of the pen, trying to ignore his father’s yelling at Chad.
“How many ranch hands have you been through in the past year?” he asked, opening the gate so she could lead her horse through.
Leanne’s only reply was a halfhearted shrug. Which told him they’d probably been through a few.
He wanted to push the issue but he had already said enough. Besides, what did it matter to him what Leanne and his father were doing or the difficulties they were having? It wasn’t his ranch and he had no skin in the game.
You should stay. Help.
On the heels of that thought came Leanne’s anger with him. Why should he deal with that on purpose?
Daylight was waning by the time the horses were unbridled and released into their own pasture.
Leanne closed the door of the tack shed and arched her back, her eyes closed.
“You look beat,” Reuben said, feeling a touch of concern.
“Just another day in paradise,” she quipped. Then she walked over to a bale of hay and was about to fork some to the horses when Reuben stopped her. “I’ll take care of that.”
She nodded her thanks, then without another word to him walked toward where George and Chad stood. Reuben stabbed the fork into the hay bale, fighting his annoyance with her attitude. As if she had any right to be so cool with him.
Chad was cleaning up the syringes and George looked up when he joined them. “Good work” was all he said, but coming from George, that was high praise. Then he turned to Leanne. “Is Austin in the house?”
“Shauntelle texted me a few minutes ago. She just put him to bed but she brought supper. She’s waiting at the house until I can leave.”
“You go then, Leanne. We’ll be right here,” George said, then he glanced over at Reuben. “You should join us for supper. I’m sure Shauntelle made enough.”
He heard Leanne’s swift intake of breath but he didn’t bother looking her way, sensing he would see the same anger he had when he first came. Her reaction made him want to turn down the invitation, but the fact that his father had asked was a small acknowledgment of Reuben’s presence. A few crumbs tossed his way from his dad.
And right about now, he was ready to take something, anything, away from this visit. If it wasn’t from Leanne then it may as well be from his father.
“Sure. That sounds good,” he said.
“You can wash up in the house,” George said, then turned to Chad. “When you’re done here, you can go home.” Then George walked away, leaving Chad with syringes and empty bottles to clean up.
“How long have you been working for my father?” Reuben asked Chad, who was gathering up the syringes and dumping them into a large plastic tub for cleaning.
“Few days. Not long.”
“You ever work on a ranch before?”
Chad slowly shook his head, looking apprehensive. “No. But I need the work. Got a family to take care of.”
“You ride at all?”
“I’m willing to learn.”
Reuben held the man’s eyes, sensing the desperation in them. He’d have to be at the end of his rope to want to put up with his father’s abuse for the sake of a job.
However Reuben didn’t give the poor guy another week. Chad seemed like a decent fellow but he needed someone who was able to take the time to help him out and show him the ropes. George would never be that guy. Leanne might, but he guessed any extra time she might have was taken up with Austin.
There was no way they could keep this ranch going.
This isn’t your problem, he reminded himself. You’re on your way out of here. Stick to your plan.
But as he walked back to the house, George and Leanne walking ahead of him, he couldn’t shake the idea that the Bar W’s time was done.
George and Leanne really needed to sell the place.
* * *
“So this job of yours. What will you do?” George was asking Reuben.
“I’ll be contracting for a large engineering firm,” Reuben replied, his voice even and measured in spite of the antagonism in George’s voice. “This job will get me opportunities all around the world.”
Leanne concentrated on her food, exhaustion clawing at her. The day had been emotionally and physically taxing. Devin’s quitting had created a huge problem she wasn’t ready to deal with. And while Reuben’s help was appreciated, his presence wasn’t.
She couldn’t deal with all this right now. She wanted nothing more than to retreat to her room, but she was determined not to let Reuben know how much he got to her.
“I can see why you’d like that job. Moving around. Just like you’ve always lived,” George put in, annoyance edging his voice as he scooped up some of the casserole Shauntelle had dropped off.
Leanne had never been so happy to see her friend. She wanted to fall into her arms, tell her all her current struggles, but she couldn’t. Only Tabitha knew Leanne’s secrets, and her sister had been so busy the past couple of days that Leanne hadn’t had a chance to connect with her.
“Dirk liked staying in one place,” George continued. “He would have stuck around. Helped on the ranch.”
In spite of her own frustration with him, Leanne felt a touch of sympathy for Reuben. As long as she’d known Dirk and Reuben, it was obvious George favored the son of his first wife. His beloved Joelle.
Didn’t matter what Reuben accomplished, it was either wrong or not as good as anything Dirk did. After Dirk died, George grew more bitter, railing against everyone and everything and, for some reason, Reuben most of all.
“So where is this amazing job based?” George continued.
“California. The company has contracts all over the world,” Reuben said, pushing his food around his plate. “It’s a great opportunity. A chance to make good money and be independent. And travel.”
Leanne shouldn’t have been surprised that Reuben would take this job. His constant moving around had been one of those important issues they had planned to discuss when they decided they would be together. She had hoped he would come and work on the ranch, but Reuben had been adamant that his father would never want him back or give him any share in the Bar W. Dirk was the favored son, he would be the one inheriting and Reuben had no desire to put himself through more humiliation.
“And no more rodeo?” his father asked.
Reuben glanced over at Leanne just as she looked at him. She ducked her head, focusing on the plate in front of her.
Leanne was thankful that in spite of George’s antagonism to Reuben, he carried the conversation. She couldn’t make idle chitchat with a man who had let her down so badly. Treated her so poorly.
A man she’d thought, at one time, she would be spending the rest of her life with.
And right now, sitting with him only a few feet away, with Austin sleeping upstairs, her own feelings were in such turmoil, she wasn’t sure what she would say to him.
“Well, whatever works,” George said, taking a drink of his water. “You’re not in a saddle anymore but you’re still running around, aren’t you?”
“Haven’t found a reason to settle down yet.” Then Reuben turned to Leanne. “This is a great supper. Thanks so much for having me.”
His polite smile and impersonal comment created a clench of dismay that surprised and frustrated her. All through the meal he’d been unfailingly polite, asking George questions about the ranch, the hired hands, the community. He didn’t bother asking anything of her.
Or about Austin, which cut deepest of all.
“You’re welcome,” she said, keeping her voice cool. “It was the least we could do after you helped us out.”
He shot her a frown, clearly picking up on the faint note of sarcasm that had crept into her voice.
“It was the right thing to do. So what are you going to do now that Devin has quit?” Reuben asked, his gaze fixed on Leanne, as if daring her to answer his question.
Leanne glanced at George, who glowered, tapping his fingers on the table.
“I don’t know,” George said finally. “Sometimes I think we should let it all go.” Then he glanced at Leanne. “But then I think of Austin and know we should keep going.”
His words created a low-level panic in her. Though Leanne knew, when it came right down to it, her father-in-law would never sell the ranch, he had floated the idea a couple of times. And she had simply let him talk, hoping he would change his mind.
He always did.
“We’ll keep going,” she said, giving George an encouraging smile. “We’ll advertise for another hand. That’s how we got Devin and he knew his stuff.” She didn’t add the fact that George had been the one to drive him to quit, but she lived in hope that they would find someone who was able to ignore George’s bluster and do the work.
“This Chad guy. Where did you find him?” Reuben asked.
“Word of mouth,” Leanne said, glancing over at George who had gone quiet, staring off into the middle distance. Leanne caught him doing this more often the past while. As if he was ruminating on life. Looking back into a past he couldn’t change and the losses that had caused him so much pain.
“He seems like a good guy, but not too experienced,” Reuben said.
“He’ll learn.”
“But you’re still shorthanded. And you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you getting the rest of the cows processed and the calves weaned.”
Leanne was wondering why he was giving her the third degree. What did he care about what was happening on the ranch? He never had cared about it before.
Or about other things.
“We are shorthanded,” George said to Reuben, jumping into the conversation. “But you could help us out. You said you don’t have to go back for a couple of weeks. You could help Leanne get the cows down from the upper pastures. Help us wean them.”
“We can find someone else,” Leanne chimed in. There was no way she could handle Reuben being at the ranch all day. “And besides, Reuben said he was leaving town.”
“I can stay, help out around here,” Reuben said.
Leanne could only stare at him. “Why?”
“My dad asked if I could, and I can,” Reuben said, his tone even. Measured. As if he was challenging her. “And I know you won’t find anyone to help on the ranch on such short notice.”
Leanne pressed her lips together, struggling for self-control. She was the new secretary of the Rodeo Group. And when she’d found out Reuben would be doing the assessment on the arena, she figured it would only require seeing him for a couple of meetings and then he would be done.
But to have him here? Every day?
“Good. Then that’s settled,” George said. “We’ll see you on Friday.”
Leanne felt a headache crawling up her neck and had suddenly had enough of trying to sit through this visit. Trying to be polite to a man who had once held her heart and, instead, had pushed her away when she needed him most.
She couldn’t struggle through inane conversation with Reuben for a single minute longer.
“Excuse me,” she mumbled, shooting a glance at George, her eyes barely grazing over Reuben. She picked up her plate and carried it to the kitchen. She set her plate on the counter, gripping the edge as she tried to keep it together. In spite of her anger with Reuben, she was still disappointed to see how much he affected her. After all he had done, or rather hadn’t done, he could still make her heart tremble. At one time in her life, she would have prayed about this visit, asking God to give her strength. But she hadn’t attended church since Dirk died. The burdens on her shoulders weighed too heavily.
And now it looked like he would be here on the ranch. Every day until they were done moving and weaning.
She drew in a deep breath, then began scraping the food off the plate into the garbage can.
“Not going to feed those to Buster? I’m sure the old dog would love those leftovers.”
Ruben’s deep voice behind her made her jump. Why didn’t he stay in the dining room? She just wanted this evening over and him gone.
“Buster’s not around anymore,” she said.
“What? Since when?”
“He died shortly after Austin was born.” In spite of her feelings toward him, she softened her voice as she gave him the news. Though the old collie had been the ranch’s dog, he had always been attached to Reuben and was always right at his heels everywhere he went.
“I was wondering where he was when we were working with the cows. I thought he was sleeping. Figured he was probably pretty old.” Reuben released a heavy sigh as he set the bowls with the leftover food on the counter.
She didn’t imagine the sorrow in his voice, and for the smallest moment she wanted to reach out to him and console him. But she stopped herself. He didn’t deserve her pity.
George came into the kitchen, setting the last of the plates beside the sink.
“If you don’t mind, I’m turning in,” he said to Leanne. “Tell Shauntelle thanks for dinner.”
He turned to Reuben. “So we’ll see you again?”
Reuben nodded, then George left, his footsteps slow as he walked through the kitchen to the stairs leading to his bedroom in his wing of the house.
Reuben waited until he was gone, then turned back to Leanne. “He looks tired,” he said, his voice quiet.
“He’s getting older and he hasn’t been feeling well lately.” Leanne kept her tone conversational, wishing Reuben would just leave. She wanted nothing more than to go to her own bedroom, crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and end this day. But she plugged on.
“Why does he keep going?” Reuben asked. “Why doesn’t he sell this place? Sounds like he’s talked about it.”
“Sell the place?” Leanne couldn’t keep the incredulous tone out of her voice as she finished loading the dishwasher. “This place has been in the Walsh family for generations. He can’t do that. He won’t do that,” she amended.
Reuben gave her a surprised look. “You seem bothered by the idea.”
“You don’t sell land,” she said, closing the dishwasher and punching the buttons, his nearness creating unwelcome feelings countered by his casual dismissal of everything she now held dear. “I can’t believe you would even say that. You, a Walsh.”
“C’mon, Leanne. Be realistic,” Reuben said, frowning his puzzlement as he ignored her last statement. “It’s just you and my dad now, and Chad who is a nice guy but no cowhand. And knowing my father, you’ve been through more than a few hired hands already. You can’t keep going like this.”
“I’m capable,” she countered, leaning back against the counter, her arms folded in a defensive gesture over her chest. “I’ve spent the last three years learning how to handle cows, drive a tractor, work a horse. Prove my worth to your father. I can manage the work.”
“I don’t know why you would want to get into my father’s good graces,” Reuben said with a harsh laugh. “Those four years you and Dirk were engaged, my dad would have nothing to do with you. He fought with Dirk all the time about his dating you. And now you’re working with him like he’s a partner you can trust. How do you know he won’t change his mind and cut you out?”
Leanne felt again the sting of that old rejection. When she was dating Dirk, she knew George’s disapproval was one of the reasons Dirk kept putting off setting a wedding date. Dirk kept telling her it would take time and that he wanted everything to be just right before they got married. But he hung on for four long years, giving her excuse after excuse.
She finally broke up with him, realizing that it was probably for the best.
Because no matter how she had tried to convince herself that Dirk—safe solid secure Dirk—was the better man, it was the wild and unpredictable Reuben who had always held her heart.
And for a few blissful weeks, after she broke up with Dirk and she and Reuben found each other at that wedding in Costa Rica, she thought she had finally found her heart’s true home.
Foolish, stupid, trusting girl.
But she was here now. Reuben was her past. Austin was her present and future. He was her focus now. Not this man who broke his promises to her and broke her heart.
“Land is an inheritance. A legacy. It’s security,” she said, repeating all the reasons she had dated Dirk. “You don’t give that up.”
“Security always was important to you, wasn’t it?” Reuben’s voice held a hard edge. “That’s why you stayed with Dirk so long. That’s why you went running back to him the first chance you could. After I thought we had shared something unique. Something I’d never had with anyone before.”
His words dug into her heart, resurrecting feelings she thought she had dealt with, but the dismissive and furious tone of his voice stripped them all away. Laying bare the selfish man he truly was.
She felt her hands curl into fists and for a moment she wanted to hit him. Strike at him. Lash out in pain and fury and hurt.
“Dirk at least stood by me,” Leanne said, pulling in a long, slow breath, trying to still her pounding heart, the old, painful tightness gripping her tired head. Always a sign of stress and sorrow. “He helped me when I needed him, which is more than I can say for you.”
Silence followed this remark and she wondered what he would say to that. If he would now finally admit to what he had done. Or hadn’t done.
“I wish I had even the smallest inkling of what you’re talking about” was all he said, sounding genuinely puzzled.
All she could do was stare at him.
“Are you delusional or are you really that insensitive?” How could he act as if he had no clue of what had happened between them? Did he think she would just forget those panicked text messages she had sent and his harsh, hard replies telling her to leave him alone? That he didn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore?
“What’s really going on, Leanne?” Reuben asked as she busied herself putting the leftovers away. “I can’t believe you feel you have any right to be angry with me. Why?”
Where to start?
Leanne snapped covers on the leftovers and shoved them into the refrigerator, giving herself a chance to ease the fury clawing at her heart. She had told herself repeatedly that she was over this man and he didn’t deserve one minute of her thoughts.
“Doesn’t matter,” she snapped. What she and Reuben had was past and gone. He’d had his chance and he’d tossed it away. That he would be working here was an inconvenience she would simply have to deal with until he was gone. Because if there was one thing she knew about Reuben, it was that his departure was inevitable.
“But it does matter. If we’ll be working together for a while, I’d like us to not be circling each other.” Then, to her dismay, he took a step closer to her and in spite of her obvious anger with him, he touched her shoulder. It was nothing more than the whisper of his hand over her shirt, but it was as if sparks flew from his fingertips.
She clung to the door of the refrigerator, as if to regain her balance, then turned to him.
“Why does this matter now? Why didn’t it matter three years ago?”
“It did matter. What we had was everything to me. When we got together in Costa Rica, I thought we had finally come to the place you and I should have been years earlier. Instead you deserted me and ran to Dirk and married him.”
All she could do was stare at him. “Deserted you? How... Where...” She shook her head, trying to settle her confusion. “You were the one who did the leaving. I sent you text after text and all I got from you was rejection.” The old hurt spiraled up and she had to fight down the pain and, to her humiliation, the tears.
“Rejection? Texts? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The puzzlement on his face was almost her undoing. He seemed genuinely disconcerted.
“I feel like there’s this gap between us I don’t know how to bridge,” he said.
Then, to her dismay, he took that one step separating them and fingered a strand of hair away from her face. She closed her eyes, her own emotions in flux. Her hand twitched at her side, longing to come up and cover his. To reconnect with someone she couldn’t forget.
But then she heard Austin cry out and she was doused with icy reality.
“I should go check on him,” she said, moving away from him.
“Can I come with you? I haven’t seen him yet today.”
His casual request was like an arrow in her heart. How could he act this way around Austin? How could he simply relegate him to one corner of his life? Like he didn’t matter?
Her indignation and frustrated fury with him rose up. But behind that came a quiet question.
Maybe if he saw Austin face-to-face again he might relent. Maybe seeing him again would make a difference.
Really? If seeing him yesterday hadn’t, why would it now?
Her mind did battle with herself as she recalled his coldhearted texts of rejection. The replies she typed out with trembling fingers on her cell phone, alone, pregnant and uncertain of her future.
“Please?” he asked, the pleading note in his voice easing away her resistance.
“Of course you can,” she said, determined to be an adult about this, tossing out one last-ditch effort to make him own up to his responsibilities. “He’s your son after all.”
Chapter Four (#u3f51a7ab-80d9-5f9e-ad9e-9b67f6b4e2cf)
Her words hung between them, echoing in the silent kitchen. Soft-spoken, but they rocked his soul. He felt like he was fifteen years old again and being tossed off the dock at Cedar Lake. Suspended in the air in disbelief, wondering what it would feel like when he went in.
“My son?” He choked the words out.
“Yes. Austin is your son,” she said, her words sounded like they came from far away.
“My son?” he repeated, feeling like an idiot.
“I know I could keep him from you and not let you see him. That would be what you deserve, but I’m trying to take the moral high ground here. After all, you’ll be here every day. You can’t avoid him the entire time.”
Reuben stared at her, trying to catch up one word, one phrase at a time as he surfaced to the truth.
“What are you saying? What do you mean?”
Leanne glared at him, eyes narrowed. “Please do me a favor and stop acting so surprised.”
“But I am.” He struggled to settle the information, his mind ticking back, trying to think, to organize thoughts he couldn’t pin down.
“I don’t know why you are,” she snapped. “This certainly isn’t news to you. I still can’t believe how casual you’ve been about the whole thing. You came flying onto the ranch and when you saw him, you acted like he was just some other kid, like he was—”
“My nephew,” he interrupted. “Which he is. Dirk’s son.” Why was she saying Austin was his son? If that was true, why hadn’t she told him before? Why wait until now?
Leanne shook her head, and her narrowed eyes latched on to him. “He’s not Dirk’s. He’s yours. The same kid I told you about over three years ago. The same kid you told me you didn’t want to have anything to do with.”
He held his hands up, still trying to absorb what she was saying. “Whoa, what do you mean, I didn’t want to have anything to do with him? This is the first I’ve heard about this.”
“How can you look me straight in the eye and lie like that?”
“I’m not lying. How...when...” He caught himself. “Let’s back up here. You got pregnant. Are you saying—”
“It happened at your cousin’s wedding. The ‘mistake’ we both agreed we had made,” she made sarcastic air quotes, hooking the air with her fingers.
He could only stare at her, trying to digest all this.

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