Night Hawk
Night Hawk
Lindsay McKenna
Once upon a ranch in Wyoming…After losing his comrade, Sergeant Gil Hanford thought a visit to the man’s widow would be the decent way to honor his late friend. But Gil found more than comfort in Kai Tiernan—he had always secretly desired beautiful Kai, but a sudden, mutual passion helped assuage their grief…until duty reared its head, removing him from her arms, seemingly forever.Four years later, Kai is starting over at the Triple H Ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Born a rancher, she is looking for a new beginning—but her new boss is unforgivably familiar. Kai has tried to move past the memory of what happened between her and Gil, even though she's never forgiven him for leaving her. But even as they begin their journey toward something new and oh-so-uncertain, a shadow emerges, determined to claim Kai for itself.
ONCE UPON A RANCH IN WYOMING…
After losing his comrade, Sergeant Gil Hanford thought a visit to the man’s widow would be the decent way to honor his late friend. But Gil found more than comfort in Kai Tiernan—he had always secretly desired beautiful Kai, but a sudden, mutual passion helped assuage their grief…until duty reared its head, removing him from her arms, seemingly forever.
Four years later, Kai is starting over at the Triple H Ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Born a rancher, she is looking for a new beginning—but her new boss is unforgivably familiar. Kai has tried to move past the memory of what happened between her and Gil, even though she’s never forgiven him for leaving her. But even as they begin their journey toward something new and oh-so-uncertain, a shadow emerges, determined to claim Kai for itself.
Praise for New York Times bestselling author
Lindsay McKenna
“A treasure of a book…highly recommended reading that everyone will enjoy and learn from.”
—Chief Michael Jaco, US Navy SEAL, retired,
on Breaking Point
“Heartbreakingly tender…readers will fall in love with the upstanding hero and his fierce determination to save the woman he loves.”
—Publishers Weekly on Never Surrender (starred review)
“McKenna skillfully takes readers on an emotional journey into modern warfare and two people’s hearts.”
—Publishers Weekly on Down Range
“…Packed full of danger and adventure. Fans of military romance will appreciate the strong female characters, steamy sex scenes, and details of military life.”
—Booklist on Taking Fire
“This was a beautiful and heartwarming story. Grayson and Skylar are an awesome alpha pair.”
—Night Owl Reviews on Wolf Haven
“Readers will find this addition to the Shadow Warriors series full of intensity and action-packed romance. There is great chemistry between the characters and tremendous realism, making Breaking Point a great read.”
—RT Book Reviews
Night Hawk
Lindsay McKenna
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To the best editors I’ve ever had:
Alicia Condon, Tara Gavin and Linda Curnyn.
From the “good ole days” where we kicked butt
and took names in the romance world of publishing…
taking romance at Silhouette to new heights! Creativity!
Thinking outside the box! We, and so many others,
changed the course of romance publishing. Many thanks
to my wonderful readers for showing us the way!
Dear Reader (#ulink_afd97a80-e13a-55c6-a20d-c12bc3986882),
I love what-ifs because they lead me down some interesting, twisted, turning paths. In Night Hawk, you will meet former Delta Force sergeant Gil Hanford, who went into the US Army at eighteen.
Gil met and worked with Sam Morrison. Sam was married to US Army Apache combat helicopter mechanic Kai Tiernan. Gil fell in love with Kai but, respectful of their marriage, he kept his distance. It was a painful time for Gil because he saw how unavailable Sam was to his wife, Kai. He could only sympathize with their plight.
Sam is killed in a firefight, and Gil is there when it occurs. Feeling grief-stricken, wanting to console Kai, he goes to her to offer his condolences. They end up in one another’s arms for five days, dealing with conflicting emotions. On the morning of the fifth day, Gil is ordered out on an undercover op. He thinks it’s for a few days, but it ends up being two years.
Kai is left without her husband and without Gil. She never finds out what happens to Gil. Thinking he’s used her to soothe his grief, Kai goes back to Wyoming and drifts from one ranch to another. Few ranchers are willing to hire a woman to be a mechanic.
Finally, four years later, she ends up at the Triple H Ranch near Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It’s only half a day later that she meets the ranch foreman: Gil Hanford…
Join my newsletter to get all kinds of exclusive information given to subscribers only, giveaways and my latest books coming out at lindsaymckenna.com (http://lindsaymckenna.com/)!
I hope you enjoy Night Hawk.
All the best,
Contents
Cover (#u9775cfc9-012b-5242-a7cb-c563ba8ea938)
Back Cover Text (#u755fefa5-310f-58d8-a919-18a8eb5157e9)
Praise (#u374fcfbd-5adf-5f01-bb90-919b9efd8cb3)
Title Page (#ud27fc74b-d0bd-5fb4-980b-e5e62217b29c)
Dedication (#u54acca5d-dfb8-506d-8356-e0d6c20c755d)
Dear Reader (#u9bd05c69-2be8-57cf-9c8f-019087864258)
CHAPTER ONE (#u7f08a54d-c376-5bdc-a1c8-de9fc13507d2)
CHAPTER TWO (#ufe90c08d-78ca-58a5-bbba-c3565764eeed)
CHAPTER THREE (#u84bdcfc2-e124-5cda-abb1-9fc8ac8a43c5)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u1635bf66-98d2-5ea1-af43-e995a48c0df6)
CHAPTER FIVE (#udbf93241-705e-53a6-b717-4584cc076ef2)
CHAPTER SIX (#ue7c83498-a9d3-5b13-809d-a4abd2d67476)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_8dc2f9ca-7f7c-5955-b97b-bc8ab7fb4be9)
KAI TRIED TO get her heart to stop pounding so hard in her chest. She sat in her Ford pickup in front of the Triple H Ranch, rubbing her damp palms against her jeans. This was the twentieth ranch she’d traveled to in order to apply for a job as a mechanic and wrangler. She’d been to six ranches in South Dakota, ten in Montana, two in Idaho, and now Wyoming ranches didn’t look like they were hiring, either. Worse, she was a fine mechanic due to her US Army time as an Apache helicopter repairer, but the listless economy was stopping any new hires. Plus, she was a woman and the ranch owners just rolled their eyes when she said she was a mechanic.
Kai could fix anything. You name it, she could handle it. She knew being a woman brought prejudice to the table. And ranchers tended to be conservative, old guard and even outright Neanderthal in their view of women. She’d had one rancher nearly fall off his chair in his office laughing hysterically when she said she was a mechanic.
Hell, it was tough enough getting out of the military after enlisting at age eighteen and separating from the Army at twenty-eight because of downsizing. She thought her job rating would make it easy to get hired. In the military, women did so-called men’s work, and no one thought anything about it. But they sure did out in the civilian world, she was discovering.
Kai wiped the dampness off the top of her lip, taking a quick glance around the ranch. There was an opening for a mechanic and wrangler. She was a perfect fit for it. The owner, Talon Holt, was the contact. Would he laugh her out of his office, too?
Money was tight. Kai didn’t have enough left, after buying the tools she’d need and her wrangling gear, to try to rent an apartment in Jackson Hole—if she got the job. She’d already cased the town, looked through the rentals in the newspaper and found exorbitant demands for a small one-bedroom apartment. It was sticker shock. Yes, she had savings. Yes, she could pay that kind of highway robbery, but she was counting on a bunkhouse where she could live, instead, until she got her feet under her. Her goal was to eventually buy a house.
Looking around, the main ranch home was built of cedar and two stories tall, a silver sheen to its aging wood. The roof looked new. There was a white picket fence, recently painted, surrounding it. It was June first and Kai knew Wyoming winters hung around forever. She saw someone had bravely planted flowers in beds along the inside of the fence in hopes they could survive and struggle to stay alive in the near freezing temperatures that occurred at night. As she gazed out beyond the graveled parking area, she saw a number of rusted pipe fences that were in sad shape. This rancher would need a welder. She knew how to weld. That would be a plus, something she could tell the owner in hopes of him hiring her.
Kai sat there, feeling her stomach knot. Desperate for a job, her hope long since fading, she didn’t want to apply for government assistance. It just wasn’t somewhere she wanted to go, and she fought the idea. Swallowing, her throat dry, she closed her eyes, knowing she couldn’t go home. Home to Cody, Wyoming. Home to her father’s ranch, the Circle T.
Her father had disowned her when she joined the Army at age eighteen. He favored her older brother, Steve, over herself. He’d written her out of the will when she left for the Army. And he never believed a woman could run a ranch, so he’d left it to her brother when it was his time to die. At age 59, Hal Tiernan was the same gruff, terse, mean son of a bitch he’d always been. Kai had been an unwanted addition to her father’s life. He doted on his son and barely tolerated her because she was female. He called her Troublemaker.
Rubbing her dark blue long-sleeved blouse that was feminine looking but functional, her heart ached for what she wished might have been with her broken family.
If her mother, Olivia, hadn’t died when Kai was eight years old, things might have turned out a lot different. Kai was in constant touch with Steve, who loved her fiercely, begging her to come home. But home to what? Hal verbally digging at her on a daily basis? Making sniping remarks because she was a woman? He looked at all women as useful only when they were pregnant and barefoot. That was her father’s favorite saying. Kai didn’t know how her mother, who had been a high school principal, tolerated that kind of shit from him. She certainly didn’t. And that was why he called her Troublemaker. He never called her by her real name, only his nickname for her. Kai hated it.
She pulled herself out of her pain. Opening the door, she climbed out, her cowboy boots crunching across the graveled driveway to the gate of the picket fence. Kai heard a dog barking but couldn’t see it. Walking down the red-tiled sidewalk, she liked the wide, U-shaped porch that surrounded three-fourths of the house. There was a large, dark green porch swing in one corner and it looked inviting. A person could sit in it and look out over the lush swales and small hills of green grass that grew thick and abundant all around her.
Her boots thunked hollowly across the cedar porch. She saw the screen door was open and knocked loud enough so that someone would hear that there was a visitor. Heart pounding, Kai removed her dark blue baseball cap, nervously running her fingers through her short auburn hair.
A blond-haired woman in her late forties, who was very thin and frail looking, walked slowly down the foyer. She wore a bright apple-green-colored knit shawl around her shoulders, jeans and a pink sweater.
“Hi, I’m Kai Tiernan,” she said. “I’ve got an appointment with Mr. Holt for a job interview at one o’clock.”
The woman smiled and pushed open the screen door. “Nice to meet you, Kai. I’m Sandy Holt. Come on in. I’ll let my son, Talon, know you’ve arrived. Make yourself at home.”
Kai smiled and nodded, noticing Sandy moved at a halting pace. She appeared very ill, her skin not a good color, but her blue eyes were alert and the smile on her lips was genuine. Stepping into the foyer, she waited for the woman to guide her. She smelled bread baking in the kitchen and her mouth watered. Her mother used to bake bread and it brought back poignant memories. There were also other wonderful fragrances, apple pies baking. Her heart ached because she remembered her mother baking pies just like these in the kitchen of their ranch home. It brought back so many good but sad memories.
“This way,” Sandy invited. “Sorry, I’m a little slow...”
“No worries,” Kai replied gently. “Do you need some help?” She offered her hand.
Sandy shook her head. “No, but that’s sweet of you to ask.” Her face took on a wry look. “As it is, Cass is like a mother hen and I’m his chick. I’m lucky I got to answer the door before he could race to get to it, first.”
“I heard that, Sandy,” Cass called. “You must be feeling better because you were faster to answer that door than I was.”
Kai saw a tall, sandy-blond-haired man with glinting blue eyes poke his head around the corner of the kitchen entrance. He was wearing a red apron around his narrow waist. He wore jeans, cowboy boots and a dark brown shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was rather longish, but she could see his ears and the nape of his neck. There was something about him that alerted Kai. She’d swear he’d been in the military. It was nothing obvious, but frequently she could meet someone and tell if they had been in or not. It was the way they carried themselves and that rock-solid confidence they had about themselves.
“This is my broody hen caregiver,” Sandy deadpanned, weakly lifting her hand toward him. “Cassidy Reynolds, although we all call him Cass, meet Kai Tiernan. She’s here for a job interview with Talon in about ten minutes.”
Cass grinned and came around the corner, holding out his large, work-worn hand toward her. “Hey, nice to meet you, Kai. Can I get you anything to drink while you’re waiting?”
Kai gripped his hand. The man was definitely ex-military, no question. He was probably about six foot two, with powerful shoulders, his forearms thick with muscle, telling her he worked hard. She saw some bits of flour spotted across his shirt. “Nice to meet you, Cass. And no, I don’t need anything to drink, but thank you.”
“Ah,” he said, giving Sandy a wicked look, “she’s just like you. Kai has this look on her face of what is a man doing in a kitchen and wearing, of all things, an apron?” He released her hand and chuckled. “Just FYI, Kai, I do the cooking around here five days a week. And—” he gave Sandy a warm, teasing look “—I take care of this headstrong, wild filly, plus I’m the operating officer for this ranch.”
“Wow,” Kai said, put at ease by Cass’s easygoing nature, “you’re a multitasking guy if I ever saw one.”
Sandy chuckled and shook her head. “I’m going to the living room to sit down. Come join me, Kai?”
“Yes, ma’am,” she said.
“Don’t ‘ma’am’ her,” Cass warned gravely. “Things around here are loosey-goosey. No one stands on much protocol.”
“Good to know,” Kai murmured, giving Cass a grateful look. Already, she liked this ranch. Sandy worried her, though, and now she knew Talon Holt was her son. Was he like his mother? She didn’t know but hoped some of her DNA had made its way into him. Cass was a man in the kitchen. So maybe Talon wouldn’t think it odd she was a woman mechanic. Here at this ranch, they seemed not to care what the gender was as long as they were good at what they were doing. Mentally, Kai crossed her fingers.
Kai didn’t have long to wait for Talon Holt. She heard a man come in the screen door, the clacking of paws indicating a dog with him. Sitting on the couch, she saw a beautiful Belgian Malinois dog enter the room. His alert cinnamon eyes instantly settled on her. The intelligence in the dog’s gaze was apparent and Kai lifted her chin, seeing the owner come in right after him.
“Zeke, sit,” he ordered the dog.
Instantly, the dog sat.
“I’m Talon Holt,” he said, glancing at his mother and then at her. He took off his black Stetson. “You must be Kai Tiernan?”
Kai instantly stood. “Yes, sir, I am. Nice to meet you, sir.” She saw the tall man with black hair and gray eyes, grimace.
“Stand down,” he said with a slight smile. He crossed the room and shook her hand. “No need to say ‘sir’ to me.”
Zeke whined.
Talon looked back and pointed at his mother. “Zeke, guard.”
Sandy made an unhappy noise. “Now, Talon. I do not want that dog herding me around like I’m a sheep to be taken care of. Really!”
“No,” Cass boomed, coming into the room, handing Talon a cup of hot coffee, “she has me. Let the dog go out and smell the flowers that you’re trying to grow.”
Grinning, Talon nodded. “Kai, one second? I’ll be right back.”
Kai nodded, fascinated with the family dynamic. Unlike her own, no question. Sandy was the matriarch. Cass was protective of her, for sure. And as Talon turned and gave the dog a hand command, Zeke leaped up, tongue hanging out of his mouth, and ran down the long cedar hallway toward the screen door ahead of him.
Cass handed Kai a cup of coffee. “Might as well be relaxed. Come on, I’ll show you to Talon’s office. That’s where he’ll interview you.”
Grateful for Cass’s warmth and thoughtfulness, she followed him out of the massive living room and kitchen. It was an open-concept area. Down another hall, Cass led her into a small office. There, he gestured to a chair in front of a massive oak desk that looked to her to be at least a hundred years old. She sat, holding her coffee between her hands.
Cass hesitated at the door and said, “Now, just be yourself. And don’t call him ‘sir.’ He was in the military, but he’s out now. Okay?”
“Yes, si— I mean, yes, I’ll remember.”
Cass nodded and said, “You’ve got mechanic’s hands.”
Dumbfounded, Kai stared up at him.
“I was in Special Forces, a sergeant,” he said. “I was the mechanic in our A team. You can always tell someone who works around equipment.”
“Really?” she asked, still in shock that he could tell by just looking at her hands.
“Sure,” he said, “short, blunt nails, calluses on the insides of your fingers, and the skin around your nails is darker, indicating oil or other fluids you’ve been handling.” He grinned. “Hey, be proud of it. I tried to talk Talon into letting me go finagle those sick pieces of equipment in the barns, but he needed me because I’m good at numbers.” He laughed.
A little shaken, Kai wondered what kind of ranch this was. Talon had been in the military. Cass had been an Army Special Forces operator. She was a vet. Did he hire vets? Her hopes rose sharply. Kai heard the thunking of Talon’s boots along the hall. Her heart rate went up. Setting the cup on the desk, she pulled out her résumé from her pocket and unfolded it, placing it on the desk where he would sit. What would he think?
“Cass make you at home?” Talon asked, entering the office and quietly shutting the door.
“Yes, s— I mean, yes, he did. Thank you.”
Talon hooked his Stetson on a peg behind the leather chair and sat down, scooping up her three page résumé. “I’ve been anxious to see you,” he admitted, glancing up, the paper in his hands. “Good mechanics are rare as hen’s teeth. And when you answered the ad and sent me an email, telling me you had been a mechanic in the Army, I was very interested. Let me read this for a moment?”
Kai sat there trying to relax. Talon Holt was as tall as Cass and he walked like he’d been in the military, no question. His gray eyes were darker colored than hers. She remembered her father hated her eye color, accusing her mother of it being her fault that she had been born with the god-awful color. He didn’t like the light gray color because he constantly told her he felt as if she had X-ray vision and was looking straight through him. That it made him feel damned uncomfortable.
Kai watched Talon’s expression closely. The man homed in on the résumé like a laser-fired rocket. Kai could literally feel the shift of energy around him, that sudden focus. She gulped once, realizing that her dead husband, Sam Morrison, who had been a Delta Force operator, had that same kind of intensity, that same telltale energy about him. It was a mark of an operator. And Kai had known enough of them at Bagram in her many tours at that Afghanistan Army base to recognize one when she saw one.
Was Talon Holt an operator, too? Shaken by the synchronicity, if that were true, Kai felt her hopes rise a little more. If he was, he’d speed-read it, memorize it and have it locked permanently into his brain. That’s the way operators were. She waited, barely breathing. Hoping against hope. Finally he looked at her after rapidly skimming the three pages.
“I like that you were an Apache helo mech. Only the cream of the Army crop of mechanics get that important position. Were you the only woman?” He smiled a little.
“No, s— No, I wasn’t. In my squadron, we had four women. The rest were men.”
“I see you had six deployments to Bagram. You were kept busy.”
She nodded. “Well, if I wasn’t on Apaches, I and a few others were sent over to work on Black Hawks and MH-47s for the Night Stalker squadrons located there with us.”
“Yes,” he murmured, “I’m a little familiar with Bagram.”
Kai was dying to ask him what branch of the military he served in but didn’t dare. That would have been inappropriate.
“So,” Talon said, holding her stare, “if you were being asked to work on other birds then, you were a multi-engine qualified mechanic. They don’t let mechs work on anything but what they’re trained in on.”
“That’s correct. I was multi-certified.” Kai saw a pleased look come to his face. He didn’t hide how he felt. If he was an operator, usually they had a game face on and no one knew what they were thinking or feeling. Maybe Talon Holt wasn’t an operator, after all.
“I see here you were born in Cody, Wyoming? That your father owns the Circle T?” Talon cocked his head, studying her. “Why aren’t you home working for your parents instead of applying here for a job?”
Her throat tightened for a moment. Yeah, Talon was an operator. They had an unerring ability to home in on the exact issue that needed to be revealed and investigated. She told him the least she could, keeping out the fact she had a permanent rift with her father. His expression became sympathetic when she told him her mother had died when she was eight years old.
“That had to be tough on you,” he murmured. “And you have an older brother?”
“Yes. Steve works at the Circle T.” Her hands grew damp. “My father didn’t need a mechanic. I needed to expand my horizons and stay in my MOS after I separated from the Army. That’s why I’m applying for a job here.”
Rubbing his shaven jaw, Talon regarded her for a moment, the silence thickening in the office. “And you grew up helping to repair tractors, trucks and hay balers?”
“All of those,” she said, “and more.”
“Did your father think it odd for a girl to be a mechanic?”
Shrugging, she said, “He did, but I persevered.” Because she would work with her brother, Steve, who taught her everything that her father refused to teach her about fixing equipment.
“What are you looking for, Kai?”
The question caught her off guard. It was a thoughtfully posed question, without rancor. She saw kindness in Talon’s gray eyes, his face fully readable. There was a gentleness around this man despite how tall he was. Holt wasn’t pretty-boy handsome—he was deeply tanned and tough looking. For a moment, a man from her past, Gil Hanford, came to mind. He’d been a Delta Force operator and Sam’s best friend. Kai quickly slammed that door shut in her memory—too much grief and loss came with it. Moistening her lips, she answered honestly.
“I wanted a family. The military was my family for ten years, but they were downsizing and a lot of us were being let go when our enlistment expired.” She opened her hands. “I love people, children and animals. I like being part of something greater than myself. I was hoping to find a ranch owned by a longtime family and become a part of it.”
He glanced at the résumé. “You’re a widow?”
“Yes. My husband was a Delta Force operator and was killed in action in Afghanistan five years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Talon said, meaning it, giving her a frown. “Are you in a relationship right now?”
“No.”
“How do you see yourself fitting in around here?”
Kai was shocked at the kind of questions Talon was asking. No one had ever asked her questions like this. “I’m a good mechanic. And I’ll be responsible for keeping all the equipment up, running and perform routine maintenance on them. Then, when I’m not busy with equipment, I’d like to be a wrangler. I can do anything asked of me because on my father’s ranch, I did everything. I like working. I like being out in the weather. I don’t mind dog work because I always take personal pride in the job I perform.”
She saw his eyes twinkle. Kai didn’t know if her answer meant he was pleased or not because his expression gave nothing away.
“What if,” Talon said, setting the résumé aside, “our ranch manager asks you to go work on the employee house we’re building presently? Do you have any house building or construction skills?”
“I helped my father with roofing, drywalling, painting, laying wood floor, tiling, plumbing and electrical. My weakness is carpentry, like making window openings and setting one into it. I hate hanging doors. I’m not very good at it, although I know I can be if asked to do something like that.” She saw a slight smile come to his mouth.
“You are a jack-of-all-trades and that’s what we need around here.” Talon settled back in the squeaky chair. “I like your résumé, Kai, and I like your can-do spirit. We’re trying to hire military vets here at our ranch. They’re the hardest-working group I know of. They’re responsible, disciplined, enjoy being a team member and they’re the most organized group that I know of. Around here? We work dawn to dusk every day. You get weekends off. I’ll give you two weeks vacation each year. The bad news is that we can’t pay you as much as you’re worth right now, because this ranch has had nine years of disrepair. It means you won’t be able to make the money you’re worth for two years. We have a business plan and Cass has a math degree. He’s got us on track financially speaking, and everyone around here is busting their butts to make it happen.”
“I’m okay with less money for now,” Kai said. “And you’re ex-military like me. I know you’ll give me raises when you can and I’m fine with that. I just want to fit in. I’m looking for a new family, I guess.”
He smiled a little. “You’re good. I was in the US Navy. As you’ve probably already seen, the Holts are a pretty laid-back, easygoing family. Only my ranch foreman is pretty crusty and uptight, but he’s good at what he does. The other thing is, we’ll give you a room here on the first floor of our home. We’re in the process of building the employee house, but it won’t be ready until next June. We’ve only got so much money to buy items for the construction phase of it right now. We’re working to enclose it before snow flies in late August.”
Nodding, her heart was racing, but it was with joy this time. “I know I’ll love working here, Mr. Holt.”
“Call me Talon,” he said, sitting up in the chair. He rested his arms on the desk. “The wranglers’ lockers are located in the big red barn, next to the tack room on the main floor. Just grab one and put all your gear in there.” He looked at his watch. “My wife, Cat, is a paramedic. She works at the local hospital three days a week. She’ll be home at 5:00 p.m. We’ll eat at six sharp, in the kitchen. Cass is a helluva chef. The guy missed his calling and he should have gone to chef school. He’d probably have his own TV show by now.” Talon grinned. “We’re lucky to have him.”
“Your mother seems to really like him. He’s very kind and gentle with her.”
Talon lost his smile. “My mother’s just gotten through her last round of chemo and radiation. This is her second go-around with breast cancer.”
Kai winced. “Oh, no...” She saw the pain in Talon’s darkening gray eyes. He loved his mother very much.
“There may be days,” Talon said more softly, “that me or the foreman might ask you to do a little caregiving for her instead of being out riding fence. Would you be up for that?”
“Of course. I like Sandy. She’s very kind.” Like her son, she thought. The joy bubbling through Kai was fierce, like a tsunami, and she tried to keep a serious face because of the worry she saw in Talon’s eyes. “I see you have a dog. He’s beautiful.”
Talon grimaced. “You need to know that he’s a US Navy SEAL trained combat assault dog. Zeke and I were together for three years before we both got wounded in a firefight. I’ll make sure to introduce you to him so he knows you’re a friend of mine, not an enemy to bite.”
Her eyes widened. “You were a SEAL?” She saw his face turn grim and she saw anguish in his eyes for a split second, and then it was gone.
“Up until about nine months ago,” he said gruffly. “I came home to take care of my mother and get our ranch back on its feet.”
Nodding, Kai felt the sting of tears in the back of her eyes. “I would never have thought you were a SEAL.”
He smiled a little. “No?” He rose and pushed the chair back.
Kai stood. “Operators wear game faces. You don’t.”
“My wife is teaching me to let that be a thing of the past.” Talon opened the door for her. “Go into the kitchen and ask Cass to show you to your bedroom. He’ll get you squared away. And then, take your wrangling equipment to the locker in the barn. By that time, my foreman should be back from his run to town. If you happen to run into him, introduce yourself. If not, you’ll meet him tonight at dinner.”
“Good enough,” Kai murmured. Her voice lowered with feeling. “Thank you for giving me a chance, Talon. I promise, I won’t let you or your family down.”
He patted her shoulder. “I believe you, Kai. Welcome home.”
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_6c89287d-e718-589a-814b-b57141114b03)
GIL HANFORD DROVE in with the flatbed truck filled with sixty bales of straw for the horse stalls on the Triple H Ranch. It was midafternoon as he backed the truck up to the graveled slope that led up to the main red barn. The huge doors were slid open at both ends to allow a breeze through the massive three-story building. He was hoping that Talon Holt had hired someone to do this kind of work, leaving him free to do other more important things to get this broken-down ranch back online.
He thought he spotted someone near the lockers, but the shadows were deep inside the barn because no one had turned on the overhead lights. Could be Cass. But, God knew, his duties were stretched thin, too, which is why his boss needed to hire another wrangler. And soon.
As he backed the truck up into the wide concrete breezeway, ten wooden box stalls on one side and the tack room and wrangler locker area on the other side, he did spot someone standing in front of an open locker. Unable to get a good look at him because he was backing up the truck, Gil’s hopes rose. All he saw was the backside of the person. Had Talon hired a wrangler?
Turning off the engine, Gil climbed out of the cab and shut the door. The whicker of several horses in nearby box stalls greeted him. He inhaled the scent of the alfalfa and timothy-grass hay stored up on the second floor above them. It was a good, clean smell, one he grew up with on his father’s ranch near Billings, Montana.
He felt his left knee gripe, a war wound that had gotten him released from Delta Force and the Army a year ago. His kneecap had been broken during a firefight and he’d been airlifted out by medevac to Bagram, undergoing immediate stabilization. And then he was flown by an Air Force C-5 to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany, for the surgery. The best orthopedic surgeons in the world were there and Gil was grateful they were able to save his kneecap.
Now, it got grumpy if it was in one position for too long. Moving his leg and flexing it, the stiffness dissolved. Pushing the brim of his tan Stetson up on his brow, he wanted to see who else was in the barn. As foreman, it was his job to know where his people were at all times. He had responsibility for the day-to-day operation of this teetering ranch that was struggling to make a comeback.
Gil smiled to himself as he walked casually around the end of the truck stacked five bales high with straw to be used for the box stalls. Getting this job three months ago had been a godsend for him. And, like this ranch, he was making a comeback, too.
Gil saw whoever it was place a big toolbox into the large locker. Damn if that backside didn’t look familiar. His eyes narrowed. The person had short red hair, built small for a man. He halted about six feet from the unknown wrangler who was crouched down, pushing the toolbox into the locker.
“Excuse me,” he rumbled.
The deep, male voice caught Kai by surprised. She didn’t mean to gasp. As she stood and turned, her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. It was Gil Hanford! For a second, Kai felt dizzy, as if someone had hit her in the head and she was staggering from the blow. And then her heart ripped with such pain that she took a step back, hitting the locker door with her back.
Instantly anger surged through her, along with a tangle of confused feelings that tightened in her throat. “Wh-what are you doing here?” she managed in a shaky tone, disbelief in it.
Gil scowled, staring down at her. “I might ask you the same thing,” he growled defensively.
Touching wisps of auburn hair across her brow, Kai tried to get herself under control, the shock of meeting him nearly overwhelming her. Gil had been her husband’s best friend, both Delta Force operators and on the same team. She saw his blue eyes grow to slits, felt his gaze rake her like invisible talons from head to toe. Feeling vulnerable, stripped emotionally, rage rolled through her. “I was just hired by Mr. Holt,” she snapped, her voice wobbling with feelings that threatened to swamp her. And yet, her heart, pounding as it was, wanted a redo of this conversation. She saw regret, sadness and defensiveness in Hanford’s eyes. Oh, he had his operator’s game face on, for sure. She knew it well. Too well. “What are you doing here?” she demanded, hard anger in her tone.
Gil put his hands on his hips, staring at her. “I’m the foreman.”
Kai closed her eyes for just a moment, opened them, feeling the air sucked out of her lungs. “Y-you work here, too?” No! That wasn’t possible! This couldn’t be happening! Her mind worked at the speed of light. Her heart expanded with traitorous emotions, wanting Gil. Again. God, she could not go there! The bastard had walked out on her after five days of the most wonderful loving she’d ever experienced with a man. Gil had left suddenly without explanation, never to return. She hadn’t seen him for four years.
Anger flowed through Kai. Gil had used her as a convenient sex partner to bury himself in to get rid of his grief. His brother Rob, a Delta Force operator with another team in Afghanistan, had been killed. Gil had seen his brother’s body to the morgue at Bagram and then looked her up.
Touching her brow, Kai saw his generous mouth moving into a resistant, thin line. She remembered that mouth. Far too well. The pleasure he’d given her. Kai had never known such tenderness and vulnerability in a man until Gil had walked into her life for those five days. She’d been a widow for a year. When he reappeared, he said he needed her. Silly her. She’d believed him and they had ended up in a five-day sexual feast that was the best thing that Kai had ever encountered with a man. Yet, on the sixth morning, when she awakened, Gil was gone. No note. No explanation. No email. No...nothing. She wished she could have forgotten him, but she never had.
And now, he was towering over her, all six feet of him, broad, capable shoulders beneath a white cowboy shirt, a black leather vest stretching across his powerful chest. His Levi’s were worn and dirty, but from Kai’s view, his strong, hard thighs were just as beautiful now as they were when they’d captured her legs and held her in place to give her the most incredible pleasure she’d ever had.
And then, he’d run. Kai had never felt so used by a man. Now, the bastard was standing there, defensive, bristling, and she could feel the energy pouring off him toward her. She was only five feet seven inches tall. She wasn’t short, but she wasn’t Gil’s height, either.
What would he do? Try to get her fired? Invent some lame excuse to let her go? Would he do that to her after what they’d shared? She searched his eyes, which were now a darker, stormy blue. Kai could feel how taut and upset he was. It felt as if they were two boxers in a ring sizing each other up, looking for weak spots, a place to get in and punch, taking the other down.
Her heart said it shouldn’t be like this. That Gil was a man of honor, like his best friend, Sam Morrison. Why had he walked away from her like that? Kai knew Gil well because Sam and he were on the same team. They had been like inseparable brothers. Maybe she didn’t know Gil at all. And he’d already proved to her that he would use her and then run.
Kai wasn’t about to let him scuttle her or get her fired. She glared up at him. “And what are you going to do about me being here?” Standing tensely, her fingers curved into her palms, her adrenaline flowing through her, she saw his eyes soften for a moment. And then that implacable hardness returned. She hated the game face an operator wore!
“If Talon hired you, I’m not getting in the way of his choices.”
Kai didn’t believe him. Her nostrils flared. “You’re a good liar, Gil. I have no reason to trust you.” She saw him take a step back, rage in his face.
“I’m good for my word, Kai. If Holt hired you, then I’m okay with it.”
Kai saw what she thought was hurt in his expression for a moment. Gil was struggling to get that game face back into place, but her sharp words were like a slap to his face and he was reeling from it. “You’d better be,” she muttered. Jamming her finger down at the wooden floor between them, she said, “I got this job fairly. And, unlike you, I don’t run.”
Gil lifted his lips away from his clenched teeth. He stared grimly at her. “Go about your business,” he snapped. “Has anyone given you a tour of the ranch yet?”
Breathing hard, Kai rasped, “No.”
“I’ll get Cass to do it,” he snarled over his shoulder as he turned and walked away.
Kai’s knees felt like jelly. She heard the hard thunk of his boots on the floor of the barn and then caught sight of him as he walked with determination down the slope toward the main ranch house.
Dammit! Sagging against the locker, she pressed her hands to her face, trying to steady her breathing. Of all the things that life could throw at her, she never thought she’d see Gil again! He’d disappeared like the black ops soldier he was.
Hands falling from her face, Kai knew she had to get herself together. Her heart stopped racing and her breathing began to settle down. God, she had to sit at the family dinner table with that bastard! How far away could she get from him? Her mind raced with terrible possibilities. Gil was the foreman. He could make her look bad. And if she did, Talon Holt would fire her and she’d have no job.
Slowly putting the rest of her gear in her locker, Kai closed it, resting her head against the metal door. Should she tell someone? Talon Holt? This was so messy. Would Gil be mature about it? Let bygones be bygones? Not pick at her? Make her life a daily, miserable existence?
Standing, she pulled the baseball cap from her back pocket and settled it on her head. Right now, Kai wished she had a friend she could confide in. Just to be able to talk this out because it helped her to figure out what to do. Kai didn’t want to feel drawn to Gil. But she was, dammit. Her stupid heart was pining away for him even now! She remembered his kisses, his strong arms around her, cherishing her as if she were the most precious being on the face of the earth.
Guilt warred within Kai. Sam, her husband, had been an operator who couldn’t remove his game face. He never told her how he felt. He never cried. Sam hated to see her cry and would always plead with her to stop because it tore him up so much. Even though she loved Sam, Kai had never been able to get past those horrifically tough walls surrounding him. Sam never let her in. There was only one-way intimacy in their relationship, and she felt as if she were slowly dying emotionally, never fed by Sam in return.
Kai looked around. Just the soft snort of the few horses in the box stalls made her feel better. The scent of alfalfa hay was like perfume to her nostrils. She wished she could erase those five days with Gil. Until he showed up at her small barracks room, she had thought he was just like Sam: implacable. Unreachable. But he hadn’t been. She’d seen the devastation in his face, his eyes red rimmed, seen the rawness, the terrible grief over his younger brother’s death hours before. He had met her in the lobby and told her he needed to talk with her. She’d taken him up to her room to speak in privacy.
Talk had turned into an unexpected arousal when Kai had spontaneously kissed him in her room. That kiss had thrown them into each other’s arms. To this day, Kai couldn’t figure out why she’d agreed to go with Gil to the conjugal building on base reserved for married couples. He was black ops, so he knew how to work the system to utilize the facility. Gil had gotten them a large, beautiful suite with a real bed.
Kai drew in a ragged breath. She would never forget the tears falling down his stubbled cheeks, the utter vulnerability in his eyes as he stood in her room allowing his grief to surface. And when she’d come into his arms and kissed him, everything changed in a heartbeat. She thought the kiss was to soften his grief over his brother’s death. Oh, she’d always thought he was a ruggedly handsome man. Every woman who laid eyes on Gil stared longingly at him, lust and interest in their eyes.
He wasn’t pretty-boy handsome at all. Just the opposite—a kind of rough-hewn face, intelligent, hard blue eyes that missed nothing. His nose was hawkish, mouth wide, his lower lip fuller than his upper one. It was his square face and that granite-looking chin that Kai should have read differently.
Worse, she had no idea that Gil was drawn to her until she’d kissed him. And then she corrected herself: all he’d really wanted was a woman, any woman, to bury his grief in. She was just a convenient receptacle, was all. Nothing more. Gil had proved that by walking out of her life after five days and never contacting her again.
Why did she want to cry, then? Why did she still feel such gutting loss over his running out on her? Before, when she was married, Gil was the epitome of decorum around her. He never once flirted with her or indicated in any fashion that he was drawn to her.
Then why had he sought her out after handing off his brother’s body to the morgue on base? Hell, Hanford had all kinds of women groupies on base. Every operator did. Women just fell over themselves, salivating to get one of those badass warriors in bed with them. Kai had never been like that. In fact, she didn’t like operators precisely because of their cocky arrogance, the alpha-male attitude dripping off them like honey. Sam had to court her a full nine months while they were stationed at Bagram before he’d ever gotten her to fall in love with him.
He was the light brother to Gil’s dark brother. Sam had blond hair, green eyes and a killer smile that made her melt. Gil had black hair, blue eyes and was the quiet one who said little. Sam was always a big, immature kid if he could get away with it while Gil was always the mature, responsible adult. Sam always smiled. Gil rarely smiled. Sam would play jokes. Gil never did.
It bothered her to this day why Gil had come to her barracks, asking for her. She knew he had other women on base and used them. But it was a two-way street and Kai didn’t draw a judgment on it. Whether there was a war going on or not, men and women had libidos, and that was that.
She wandered down the breezeway, checking the horses in the box stalls. They were friendly, big quarter horse types, coming to the front and thrusting their soft, velvety noses between the iron bars or the door to try to smell or touch her outstretched fingers. She called to each one, seeing their name carved on the front of their stall. The big gray horse, she thought, was probably half Thoroughbred and half quarter horse. All of them were geldings. There was a horse for each of the wranglers, including Talon Holt.
Worrying her lower lip, Kai walked out the other end of the breezeway. Down below the gravel slope were five pipe corrals of varying sizes. They were in terrible shape. The other barn, painted green, was about one-third smaller than the red one where she stood. The second barn sat at the opposite end of all the corrals, facing her. The Triple H was a big ranch. The doors to the green barn were slid shut. Probably all the equipment needed to run the ranch was parked in there. It would be her new home.
“Hey,” Cass called, striding down the passageway toward her. “Gil asked me to show you around. You up for the five-cent tour, Kai?”
Kai smiled, liking easygoing Cass. His blond hair was thick and slightly wavy, hanging around his ears and nape, making him look like a scruffy dog. But he was clean shaven, and even though he was damned tall, muscular and powerful to her, his perennial smile made her feel better. “Sure. Can you spare the time?”
Cass pulled his black baseball cap out of his back pocket and pulled it on. “Yeah, no problem. I’ve got dinner in the oven, got the apple pies out to cool and presently have six huge Idaho spuds baking in the oven. I’m all caught up.”
“You really do like to cook?” she asked, falling into step as he cut his stride for her, leading her down the slope toward the pipe corrals.
“Yeah, love it.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Hmm,” he murmured, rubbing his shaven jaw, “about as long as Gil. I’d say three months.”
“How did you get a job here, Cass?”
“Well,” he said, giving her a wink, “I knew Talon from our days as operators. He was a SEAL and I was in Special Forces, but we often worked together out in the field in Afghanistan. He saved my ass a couple of times, and I saved his. Of course, he had his combat assault dog, Zeke, so he was double-barrel trouble to the enemy.”
Kai warmed to the man. “My run-ins with spec ops guys was like running into you,” she admitted, giving him a shy smile. “I always like the Special Forces A-teams. They were really friendly and outgoing compared to the Delta guys and the SEALs.”
Cass drawled, giving her a wink, “Our jobs were a lot different from SEALs and Delta Force types. We speak the language, go into a village, try getting them some organization, help, education and medical support. We aren’t the game-face types like Gil and Talon are. Although—” he brightened “—Talon is really working on opening up. I think a lot has to do with him being recently married to Cat. You’ll meet her in about an hour,” he said, looking at his watch. “The guy’s completely smitten by her. Talk about a SEAL biting the dust,” he said, and chuckled. “All good, though. Talon’s learning to lighten up, be a little more accessible than SEALs usually are. Love is a good thing, you know?”
Kai nodded, feeling an ache center in her heart. She thought she knew what love was with Sam Morrison. But she hit a brick wall with her husband emotionally, and she was with him only three months out of every year of the three years they were married. If he wasn’t in direct combat for six months, he was out training somewhere on the globe for another three months. And then, they had three months with each other. It had never been enough for her. “I was married once,” she admitted to Cass. He was someone who inspired immediate trust. And she liked his openness and warmth. He was like sunshine. Gil was like a damned dark moon. So closed up. Full of secrets. Full of toxic emotions he’d never unloaded, just like Sam. Why couldn’t she have been drawn to someone like Cass? He was an open book in comparison.
“You said you were in the Army,” Cass said. “Are you divorced?” And then he held up his hands as he slowed to a stop at the first pipe-rail corral. “Hey, if I’m getting too personal or nosey, just tell me it’s none of my business.”
Kai nodded. She moved her fingers lightly across the rust on the top pipe rail. It flaked off, dropping on her boots below. “I don’t mind confiding in you,” she said, looking up at him. He was now serious and she felt his full attention on her. “I was married three years to Sam Morrison. He was a Delta Force sergeant.” Her voice got a little choked up. “He was killed in a firefight in Afghanistan.” She saw his eyes go kind with sympathy. Shrugging a little, she said, “For the most part, I’m over it.”
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he said, “I’m very sorry, Kai. That’s rough.”
“Yeah...it was for a while,” she admitted, needing his kindness. After hitting a wall with Hanford, some of her hurt and fear dissolved beneath Cass’s warm care. Now Kai saw why Sandy Holt was responding so well. Cass was sunlight and he just seemed to have a knack for penetrating her darkness, her grief and pain. She looked up at him. “Were you a medic?”
“Yeah,” he said wryly, removing his hand. “I was a great mechanic in my team, which was one of my skills, but my official MOS was as an 18 Delta combat corpsman.”
“You have a nice bedside manner,” Kai admitted.
“I’d like to think I do,” Cass said. He gestured to the corrals. “Let me give you an idea of our work week. Every Monday morning we sit down in the kitchen with Gil and Talon. They hand out our assignments for the week. That way, everyone stays on the same page and we’re like a well-oiled, coordinated team. I think next week Gil is looking to start wire brushing this rusted pipe. Once the rust is removed, we’ll move on to a metal paint to coat it and then a second coat over it.”
Wrinkling her nose, Kai said, “I sure hope I’m sent to fix machinery,” and she grinned. Wire brushing was labor intensive on the wrangler’s part. It was hard on shoulders, joints, arms and hands. She heard Cass chuckle.
“I’ll bet you are. Come on, let’s go over to the green barn. That’s where all the equipment is kept. None of it is working, by the way.”
Rubbing her hands together, Kai grinned. “Good, that means Talon will let me do what I’m best at—being a mechanic.”
“Gil’s the one who decides,” Cass said, walking her around one corral.
“Once he gives out assignments, can you get him to change his mind?”
Cass shrugged. “He’s a pretty set dude. Even Talon can’t get him to do some things. But, hey, he’s the foreman for a reason. Right? And he came from a big Montana ranch near Billings, so he knows what he’s doing.”
There was so little Kai knew about Gil. Oh, she knew his body, but God, they didn’t talk about much during those five incredible lust-filled days. They had come together like two lost souls, hurting, full of grief, lonely and needing love. Maybe not love, Kai self-corrected. Maybe just horny as hell after no sex for a year after Sam’s death. And she knew for men, at least most of them, when they had sex, it did not equal emotion or love, like it did for a woman. Each gender came to the bedroom with different perspectives, expectations and realities, and suffered from different outcomes. That’s why Gil had walked away. For him, it was just sex. Relieving himself. For her, it was an entirely different experience; there were emotions and heart involved with him that she’d never realized until that moment. Kai wondered if she lived a life with blinders on all the time.
She pulled herself out of her rumination as Cass pushed hard and the huge hanging door grudgingly slid open. He walked in and turned on the overhead lights. What she saw was farm and ranch equipment with a lot of dust on it.
“Uh-oh,” Cass teased, leaning against the door opening, arms across his massive chest. “I see that look in your eye. Mechanics get a gleam that’s unmistakable. I’ll bet you’re just dying to get your hands on these metal monsters.” He chuckled, his grin widening.
She walked over to the John Deere tractor. All four tires were flat. Kai had a keen eye and swept over it from stem to stern. “You’re right,” she confessed with a laugh. Cass made a lot of her fear over what Gil might do to get rid of her dissolve. Once she started to work on these machines and showed Talon how quick and good she was, it wouldn’t matter what Gil said. Talon would keep her over any protests he made.
Remembering Gil’s face, that hurt that had crossed it when she’d accused him of trying to get rid of her, made Kai hesitate in her cruel judgment of him. He had always been a man of impeccable morals and values when she knew him. He was always respectful toward her, protective when Sam was away on a special mission and she was stationed at Bagram. If Gil and the rest of his team came in for a brief R & R between missions, he would always come to see her. Ask how she was. Did she need anything? That was how Delta brothers took care of their own. Not that many wives of a Delta operator were at Bagram. She was the only one.
Gil would escort her to the chow hall; they’d eat, talk about Sam and herself. Gil never once talked about himself. Kai had thought he was a closed book to the outside world. She was sure within the Delta Force brotherhood, he was much more open and forthcoming. Never once did Gil let on he was attracted to her. And then, Kai grimaced, Gil had clearly shown her, without a doubt, that all he wanted from her was sex. Instead of a one-night stand, it had developed into a five-night stand. How could she have been so blind? So stupid?
“Hey,” Cass called from the door, “I need to get back to the house. About time to set the table and start getting stuff ready for our 1800 chow hall.”
She grinned, liking his dropping into military lingo. “Everything in the kitchen smelled so good when I first arrived, I can hardly wait to eat tonight.”
Cass let his arms fall to his sides. “Don’t come late. It’s a food fight every night,” he warned her with a wicked grin.
She laughed, knowing he was teasing her. Cass was so easy to read in comparison to Gil. Moving between the hay baler and the tractor, and checking out the horse and cattle trailers, Kai knew she had her work cut out for her. Every tire would have to be replaced. That was a lot of money. Pulling out her notepad and pen, she started making notes on each machine. Moving between them, Kai got lost in the needs of each one. When she looked up later, she saw a tall, very well-built, black-haired woman coming her way. She was wearing jeans, a red long-sleeved tee and cowboy boots. Kai went out to the front of the barn to greet her.
“Hi,” Kai said, holding out her hand, “I’m Kai Tiernan.”
“Cat Holt. What are you up to?” she said, and shook her hand.
“Just taking notes,” Kai said, gesturing toward the inner barn. She liked the tall woman. She had slightly curled black hair that lay like a cloak around her proud shoulders. It was Cat’s blue eyes, large and sparkling with life, that drew Kai. “Are you just getting home from the hospital?”
Cat moved into the barn with her. “Yes.” She rubbed her long, slender hands. “It’s Friday. I have the whole weekend at the ranch and I can hardly wait to throw my leg over my horse and start riding some fence.” She grinned over at Kai. “Maybe you’d like to join me? Get a feel for the rest of our ranch?”
“I’d love to,” Kai said eagerly. There was an earthy warmth to Cat Holt and her smile was often, her eyes also kind looking, like Cass’s eyes. But then, they were both medical people and they couldn’t be in a service field career like that without a lot of compassion in them.
“Cass said that he’d lost you to the depths of the green barn,” Cat told her, walking among the equipment. “He said you had that gleam in your eye.”
Chuckling, Kai said, “Guilty as charged. My hands are positively itching to get started on getting these beasts up and running.”
“Well,” Cat warned, sliding her fingers over the John Deere tractor’s fender and gathering lots of dust on them, “our budget can’t handle all the repairs. I’m sure Gil will give you the go-ahead, most likely, on the tractor, because we really need it in service now.”
“I grew up on a ranch and I helped my dad with the accounting books,” Kai told her as they left the barn. “It’s a balancing act, for sure.”
Cat nodded. She pushed the large door shut and locked it. “Monday morning at nine o’clock, there’s a meeting in our kitchen. Cass always makes cinnamon rolls, which draws every wrangler on the ranch.” She laughed. “After everyone gets their quota of cinnamon rolls, Talon and Gil will go over the week’s assignments.”
“I love cinnamon rolls. Nothing like a hot one coming out of the oven. It sounds like you’re really organized.” She walked down the slope with Cat. Above them the sun was in the western blue sky. It was beautiful here and Kai was so grateful to have landed a job at this ranch. If only Gil weren’t here. And every night, she’d have to sit at the same table and eat with him. Her stomach tightened. Kai was already losing her appetite. When Gil put on that game face, he was a tough hombre and nobody cracked that steel facade of his. No one. Except her. During those nights of endless pleasure with him. Then, she’d seen the real man beneath it, and he had taken her breath away.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_571c3874-5891-524f-8e36-29c52ce43198)
THE LAST PLACE Gil wanted to be at dinner was with the Holt family. He’d always looked forward to it up until tonight. Dammit, Kai was here. He was still reeling from meeting her in the barn earlier. The family sat down, Sandy at the head of the table, Cass to her right, Kai opposite him and, thank God, Talon and Cat and himself at the other end of the long trestle table. It could easily seat fourteen people for the holidays.
Gil had breathed a deep sigh of relief when Cass asked Kai to sit opposite him. Actually, it had been Sandy who requested her presence there, a good sign she liked Kai. Who wouldn’t? There was some quiet table talk, some laughter and smiles, but Gil felt like hell. He stole a glance in Kai’s direction. His whole body tightened in memory of her in his arms. Jesus, he’d never forgotten those torrid five days with her. Not that he’d tried. The look on her face when she realized it was him was one of mixed emotions. He’d seen Kai’s shock, hurt and then anger come to her face. Kai could never hide how she felt. It was one of the many things that drew him to her. Unlike himself, who was so stove up that even Cass teased him about never smiling or being more robot than human.
Gil wanted to be close to Kai. Smell her scent. Touch her skin. He remembered all of her. Every scent, every small cry of pleasure, that husky voice of hers afterward, when they were both weak and sated with one another.
He passed the glazed carrots to Cat, who thanked him. Gil wasn’t sure who was more miserable right now: Kai or himself. But for different reasons.
When the thick slices of pot roast came his way, he took an ample amount. Working ten hours a day meant loading up on protein and carbs. The huge Idaho baked potato on his plate was slathered with cheese, crumbled bacon and heavy dollops of thick sour cream.
Earlier, everyone had gone to their respective rooms, taken turns in the bathroom on the first floor, cleaning up, getting a shower and putting on a set of clean clothes before dining. Gil swore he could smell the scent of orange shampoo that Kai had used in her hair. Those thick auburn strands gleamed beneath the hurricane lamp chandelier that hung high above the long table. She looked beautiful in a pale pink sweater, a set of pale blue slacks and sensible leather shoes. The small pearl earrings adorned her delicate lobes, and he sharply remembered tasting, teasing and kissing each of them and her sensual reaction. Kai looked fragile and that hit Gil hard. The strained expression on her face was his fault. Damn, he hadn’t handled that meeting today worth shit. He hadn’t meant to get angry at her, but it hurt when she accused him of running. Well, he had. But she didn’t know the rest of the story.
Gil covertly watched her as she passed Talon a bowl of thick brown gravy, which he poured across the slabs of beef. Kai was shy, but she’d always been that way. Her mouth stirred him, and Gil inwardly groaned. Just the dainty way she ate, that full mouth of hers lush with promise, sent streaks of heat into his lower body. Harshly, he told himself there was no way to rebuild the broken bridge that loomed like the Grand Canyon between them. She saw him as an irresponsible bastard who had taken advantage of her and given nothing in return except to disappear out of her life. Dammit.
Sandy Holt gave Kai a gentle look as she nibbled haphazardly at the food Cass had put on her plate. “Kai? Tell us about your family. Where do they live?”
Kai blotted her mouth with the pink linen napkin and told them. She looked at all of them as she spoke and tried to avoid Gil’s stormy, narrowed look, her voice faltering slightly.
“And how many in your family?” Sandy inquired.
“I have one older brother, Steve.”
“Did he go into the military like you?”
Kai shook her head. “No, he loved ranching and Dad wanted Steve to stay there to teach him how to run it.”
“Well,” Sandy said, patting her arm in a motherly fashion, “you served your country and we’re all grateful for your service. You need to know that.”
Gil saw a faint blush touch Kai’s sloped cheeks. The ache in his chest intensified. Even though she did a man’s job, she was excruciatingly feminine. Oh, he knew she wore her hair short, but hell, with the heat in Afghanistan, over a hundred degrees every day in the summer, he didn’t blame her. There was a wishful part of him that wondered what her auburn hair that glinted with gold and burgundy beneath the lamplight would feel like as he sifted his fingers through those strands once more. He remembered those silky textures and he felt himself hardening. Not what he wanted at a dinner table.
The woman had always made him want her from the moment Sam had introduced Kai proudly to him. It was the darkest, deepest secret he’d kept from his best friend. And Gil would never have told Sam that he wanted Kai for his own. That just wasn’t going to happen. He’d loved Sam like a brother and they’d gone through many years as operators, saving one another’s ass. Even today, when he thought of Sam, he missed him. And he was glad he’d never given one hint of how much he desired Kai. Neither of them knew his secret.
“Gil?”
He looked up, jerking out of his dark, heated thoughts. Sandy smiled sweetly at him. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked if you were going to take Kai around our ranch tomorrow. You know? Ride the fence line? Let her get a feel for our place?”
“Oh,” Cat said enthusiastically, “I had already asked Kai if she’d go for a ride tomorrow morning with me.”
Gil felt relief. He wasn’t prepared to spend quality time with Kai. Not yet. “That’s fine, Cat,” he told her. “I got a lot to do Saturday morning.” Gil glanced up to see the look in Kai’s large gray eyes. She was relieved, too. Obviously, she wanted nothing to do with him. His heart twinged with guilt. And gut-wrenching regret.
Zeke whined. He lay on his doggie bed in the living room, his black ears perked up, eyes shining hopefully at the group sitting at the table.
Kai turned and looked at the beautiful seventy-pound male dog. She looked over at Talon, who was scowling in Zeke’s direction. “Is he begging?”
Grumping, Talon said, “Yes. My wife made the mistake of giving him a piece of her sandwich at noon one day here at the table and he’s never forgotten it. So now—” Talon gave his wife a wry look “—Zeke sits on his bed and whines dramatically from the living room, hoping to snag someone who has a soft heart who will give him some food.”
Cat smiled and gave her husband a teasing look. “I don’t know why you don’t let us spoil Zeke. You said yourself he’s been happy since coming home. And so are you, hmm?”
Talon nodded. “You make me happy. Zeke is on his own.”
The table rolled with chuckles.
“I know what will get Zeke’s attention,” Cass said. “Get him a playmate.”
Talon groaned. “Zeke doesn’t know how to play, Cass. You of all people should know that. He’s a trained combat dog. He doesn’t know what it means to relax and play.”
Cass shrugged easily. “So? Un-train him. Get him a puppy playmate. I’ll bet he’s lonely. Or—” he gave Talon a wicked look “—how about a nice female Belgian Malinois girlfriend? I’ll bet Zeke will forget all about scraps at the dinner table. And, hey! How about a litter of puppies?”
The table burst out into good-natured laughter.
Even Gil grinned a little and shook his head. “Cass, you’re a rebel at heart. Always stirring up trouble.”
“Thank you,” he said. Turning, he checked Sandy’s dinner plate. “Now, Sandy, you have to finish off those last two pieces of beef.”
Sandy gave him a stricken look. “I’m just not hungry, Cass. Let’s give them to Zeke.”
Talon gave his mother a panicked look. “Mom...”
“Well, maybe not Zeke,” Sandy said quickly, seeing her son’s consternation. Giving Cass a pleading look, she said, “I’ve finished everything else. Isn’t that good enough?”
“That’s true, you did, and I’m proud of you,” Cass murmured. “But protein is going to build your muscles back, Sandy. You said to me this afternoon you longed to go ride a horse. And I’ll go out and saddle two horses and we’ll do just that after you get that muscle back.” Cass picked up her fork, spearing one piece of meat and holding it up to her lips. “This is the way to do it. Just think of meat as a fast way to throw a leg over that horse you’re dreaming about riding.”
Sandy wrinkled her nose, surrendered and delicately took the proffered meat off the fork he held.
“Great,” Cass praised her, spearing the last one. “Just one more?”
Gil hid his smile. Cass could charm anyone into doing anything. Special Forces operators knew how to manipulate, that was for damned sure. He saw Sandy give him a sour look, pout, but then reluctantly take the last bite of meat from the fork. Cass knew nothing about cancer or the journey she’d been on twice now until Talon had hired him. Gil could starkly see what the treatment of chemo and radiation did to the woman. Sandy was in a very fragile condition and Cass had been a brilliant hire, but then, Talon had worked with him in Afghanistan and knew his stellar qualities. And Cass had been a good choice because Sandy was tired of feeling bad and depressed due to the chemo and radiation treatments. Every time Cass gently cajoled her, Sandy brightened a little because she was one of those women who would turn themselves inside out for a man who had kindness in his soul. And Cass, being a medic, was the perfect foil.
Gil’s heart jolted as his gaze drifted to Kai, who had a concerned look on her face for Sandy. Yeah, she wore her heart on her sleeve, too, even though Kai wasn’t a medic. He remembered she’d rescued an Afghan puppy who was barely six weeks old, found a glass baby bottle with a nipple and fed it milk from the chow hall. She’d loved that little puppy. And then, six months later in a mortar attack, it got killed. He learned about it when he’d sought her out after Rob had died. She’d cried over the loss of the puppy. There was always nothing but loss in Afghanistan, he thought grimly. That country took everything away from everyone. Even his brother. Her husband, Sam. He hated the place.
Just the softness in Kai’s face, how relaxed she looked, grabbed at Gil’s heart. He remembered that look and it was starting to make him ache for her in his arms again.
Kai was easily touched by everything. And it was all there in her expression. He wished he could be like her instead of being so damned emotionally locked up. Kai had sucked the poison out of him, the rabid grief eating him alive after his brother Rob had died in that firefight. Her care, her nurturing, her maternal abilities, had withdrawn those toxic emotions from his soul and she’d healed him with her tenderness, care and love in those five days.
Scowling, Gil felt guilt eating him alive. Kai was at this table. With him. Jesus, he wanted to apologize, to tell her he was sorry for what he’d done to her. But there were no second chances after his actions. That sent a pain so deep into his heart, his soul, that he couldn’t suppress it even if he’d wanted to.
“Talon,” Cat said, “have you paired Kai with Zeke yet?”
“No,” he muttered, finishing everything on his plate. “I’ll do that after dinner.”
“I love dogs,” Kai told them wistfully, turning and giving Zeke a warm gaze.
“Well,” Talon warned her, “he’s not your average, friendly, lick-your-hand dog. He was highly trained for three years before he was given to me to go into combat with. He takes delight in bringing down Taliban, crunching bones and keeping them in one place until we can get there to flex cuff them.”
Cat gave her husband a pleading look. “Darling? We’re at the dinner table?”
Kai saw Talon blush, his cheeks turning ruddy. “My fault,” she told everyone in apology. “I did see combat assault dogs at Bagram from time to time. And you’re right, Talon, they aren’t your next-door neighbor’s dog.”
“Well,” Sandy piped up, “I would love Zeke to have a mate! I’d love having puppies around here. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
Groaning, Talon shook his head. “Mom, you don’t know what you’re asking. Zeke’s breeding is as a highly aggressive guard dog. He’d throw puppies just like him and most people don’t know how to deal with that kind of energy and focus. They wouldn’t make good house pets, believe me.”
“Maybe,” Cass suggested, giving Sandy a warm look, “get him a male puppy friend? Someone he can bond with, then?”
Talon shrugged. “I’ve seen combat assault dogs out in the field when another male dog comes around them. They chew the hell out of them and damned near kill them. They’re very territorial. Zeke will be the same way.”
Sandy frowned. “Do you think he’d kill a little male puppy, Talon?”
“I don’t know, Mom. He might. I was never in villages where there were scruffy mutts around he could interact with. Zeke’s focus was on chasing Taliban down in the valleys and up into the mountains.”
Kai gave Sandy a kind look. “Do you want a dog of some kind?”
“We used to have a beautiful golden retriever when Talon was growing up. Goldy was her name. My first husband, Gardener, had bought her as a pup for me on our first wedding anniversary. Goldy just doted on Talon after he was born. And I love all animals, so yes, I think I’d love to get another golden retriever.”
Talon put his head down, paying attention to the food on his plate.
Kai smiled gently and touched Sandy’s hand. “Maybe it will happen someday.”
Cat chimed in, “I’d love to have a second dog around here, Talon. Zeke always goes with you, wherever you are. He’s your dog. Couldn’t we have a general dog that just hangs around, licks our hands and is happy to keep us company? And he could stay with Sandy. I don’t see a dog hurting her recovery.”
Talon gave everyone a distressed glance. “Maybe. It means I have to take time out of my schedule to get Zeke familiarized with another dog in order to see how he reacts to him.”
Cat gave him a happy smile. “That would be wonderful! I’d just love to have an ordinary dog around here, someone you could go riding with.” She glanced at Sandy. “Why, maybe even have that dog stay in your bedroom at night when you sleep. Keep you company.”
Sandy glowed. “I’d like that a lot. Goldy lay on the rug at the end of our bed. And in the morning, she would wake us up by licking our hands or faces or whatever she could reach.” She smiled fondly over those memories.
Gil could tell that Talon had lost the battle and the war. His boss was grimacing as he ate, saying nothing, keeping a low profile. It was obvious Talon wanted to please his excited wife, her eyes shining with the possibility of a puppy in the house. And Talon’s mother looked at her son with the same expectation and joy. Talon was gruff, but the women in his life ruled him. And maybe, Gil thought, that’s what love did to a man. It made him want to keep the woman he loved happy. In this case, Talon had two women to keep smiling, for different reasons.
“Maybe,” Talon grunted, “I’ll get Zeke around some dogs in the coming weeks when I get a chance. I’ll see how he reacts. If he seems okay with them and isn’t too territorial, then Mom, you can have your puppy.” And then he looked at his wife. “One dog,” he warned Cat. “You and Mom are gonna have to share it. Okay?”
Cat grinned happily. “Fine with me. Sandy? You okay with that?”
“More than fine,” Sandy agreed, giving her son a grateful look. “Thank you, Talon.”
* * *
IT WAS GIL’S job to get Kai settled into the ranch routine. On Saturday morning, he got up at six o’clock. He opened his bedroom door and saw Kai’s door still shut across the hall. Usually, on Saturday, everyone was up by seven getting breakfast. He heard some noise out in the kitchen and thought Cass was up, preparing the breakfast for the family and wranglers. As he walked across the living room, his heart shrank. It was Kai. He halted for a moment and stared at her.
Kai was wearing a bright orange long-sleeved tee that complemented her auburn hair. Gil felt his lower body stir as his gaze moved down to her fine butt and those long legs encased in a pair of Levi’s. She had on a pair of work boots, not cowboy boots. And she was busy dumping some cereal into a bowl at the counter. Mouth tightening, he had to make this work. He was her boss, regardless of their jaded past with each other. Last night at the table, she’d patently ignored him. Of course, he’d ignored her, too. Gil didn’t blame her for her reaction to him. He could feel a lot of rage simmering just beneath the surface of Kai and it was all aimed at him.
“Morning,” he growled, long before he reached the kitchen. Gil didn’t want to scare the hell out of Kai. He saw her jerk her head in his direction. Those beautiful dove-gray eyes of hers widened in surprise. And that soft mouth he had never forgotten about compressed. And then her fine, arched brows drew downward.
“Morning,” Kai muttered defensively. She turned her back on him, pouring the cereal into her bowl.
Gil needed to eat something before he started the day. And whether he liked it or not, he headed into the kitchen and worked around Kai. Already, her posture had gone from relaxed to tense. Her shoulders had come up, as if expecting a blow. Pain drifted through him. It was the last kind of reaction he wanted from her. But he’d earned it in spades. Moving past her, he walked over to the cupboard where all the dry cereals were kept and opened it.
“You finding everything you need in here?” he demanded brusquely, hauling down a box.
“Yes.”
Her voice was clipped. Gil winced internally. He set the box on the drain board, a good three feet away from Kai. He saw a dark blue neckerchief around her slender neck. She wore no makeup, but being on a ranch didn’t invite cosmetics and wearing perfume. Still, her profile was clean and beautiful. Grabbing a bowl from another cupboard, he watched her pour milk into the bowl. Her hand trembled ever so slightly. He could feel the tension amping up between them. It was up to him to try to smooth things over the best he could.
“Need sugar?” He pointed above her head toward another cupboard. “Cass keeps a sugar bowl up there.”
“Thanks.”
Gil took his huge bowl, twice the size of Kai’s, and poured half a box of the cereal into it. Today was going to be a work-heavy day and he needed the extra calories. He watched Kai retrieve the sugar bowl. When she was done with it, she pushed it a little in his general direction. Well, she might be pissed as hell at him, but she wasn’t beyond decent human thoughtfulness. A part of him breathed a sigh of relief. He watched her pick up the cereal bowl and go to the table and sit down. Thank God, she sat at one end. He’d sit at the other, giving her all the space he could.
* * *
KAI SAT AT the end of the table where Sandy had sat last night. Her stomach was tied in knots, literally. All her hunger had fled when Gil had unexpectedly arrived. She had hoped to avoid him, but here he was. Trying to ignore his recently shaven square face, those hard, intelligent blue eyes meeting hers, she’d felt an emotion that had just floored her: desire. Of all things!
After sitting down, she quickly started eating, knowing that today Talon expected her to make an assessment on all the machinery. They had talked last night during dessert. He wanted her opinion on every piece of equipment, what it would take to get it up and running. She had her job cut out for her today.
Watching covertly, she gazed at Gil’s broad shoulders and long, powerful back. Why couldn’t she get the past out of her memory? How she’d felt that masculine power, felt his tenderness despite his size and weight. Never would Kai have thought a man could be as gentle, as loving, as Gil had been with her.
Tears burned in her eyes and Kai made a soft, frustrated sound in her throat, forcing herself to eat quickly. She had to get out of here! Get as far away from him as she could. But Kai knew that because Gil was the foreman, he would always be around her. She wasn’t sure she could handle it, but she needed this job so desperately. And she loved all the other people here on the ranch. It was such a whiplash and shock for her to see him once again.
She averted her eyes as Gil turned and walked casually to the table. To her relief, he took the other end of it and sat down. She could feel the man’s energy all the way down the table! In the kitchen, she had inhaled the sage soap he’d used, and then that achingly familiar masculine scent of Gil, like a sexual aphrodisiac to Kai, had entered her nostrils. And damn her, she’d inhaled it like a starved beggar. Of all things!
She kept eating as fast as she could, gulping down her food, willing it to disappear as fast as it could. There was no way she wanted to spend any time with this bastard.
“We need to go to the equipment barn,” Gil told her, lifting his chin and staring down the table at her. “I need to get a detailed list from you when you’re done with your inspection. Then, Talon will decide what gets fixed first.”
Nodding, Kai swallowed hard, holding his gaze. She remembered his eyes and how they would darken as he’d loved her. How they would lighten when he was honestly relaxed, which wasn’t often, as a field operator. But he had with her, in her arms, beside her after making such wild, hungry love with each other. “That’s fine,” she said, frowning. She hoped he wasn’t going to hang around her, working with her. That wasn’t something she could tolerate, because the anger and hurt over his walking out on her was boiling just beneath her surface. And she had to keep this job. If she rounded on Gil, took him to task, he could get her fired just like that. Insubordination toward a superior.
“We’ll go over things after breakfast,” he said casually. “And then I’ll leave you alone. Come to me with the list once it’s finished.”
“I can do that.” Relief sped through Kai. Was Gil reading her mind? Did he see the expression on her face and figure out she wanted him the hell away from her?
“Good,” he muttered.
Kai stood up, her bowl empty. As she walked toward the kitchen, she said, “I’m going out there now. I’ll see you when I get done with that list.” She saw him give a brisk nod but not look up. Good. Drenched with tension and the urge to run the hell out of the house, Kai forced herself to act normal. Not scared. Not angry. She knew during the first month of working here, Talon would be assessing her closely to see how she fit in with the ranch team or not. And more than anything, Kai wanted to integrate. She had loved the warmth and camaraderie at the table last night, despite Gil’s dark, quiet presence.
She rinsed her bowl out and placed it in the nearby dishwasher. After washing her hands, she quickly dried them off. Walking out into the foyer, she grabbed her green baseball cap off a wooden peg and left the house.
The air was chilly. A lot more than she realized. Turning, Kai went back inside. As she walked through the living room, she felt Gil’s gaze on her. Refusing to look or tell him why she was back, she hurried to her room. She retrieved her new Levi’s jacket and pulled it on. Patently ignoring him, she left, glad to be away from him.
The sky was pink on the horizon, along with a band of gold. The sun was just about to rise. She saw the light frost on the plants in the flower beds as she opened the gate and then shut it. Her breath was white vapor as she walked around the ranch house and down a gravel path toward the green barn in the distance.
There were no cattle at the ranch yet. She’d heard Talon say something to Gil about going to look at buying a bull and thirty Hereford cows, but that was all. The ranch was quiet, as if it were still slumbering. Kai could see the amount of work ahead of everyone. Her boots crunched on the gravel as she made her way past the rusted corrals. The sky was now a pale blue. In the distance, she could see the sharp, teethlike Tetons with a thick white coat of snow on the upper half of their blue granite slopes. The song of several robins and a cheerful cardinal picked up her spirits. The farther away from Gil that she got, the happier Kai felt. He was her past. And that’s where it was going to stay.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_559f780d-26b2-5a02-91e6-dda41d5dc0d5)
KAI HAD PUSHED the big green door on the barn wide open to allow maximum light into the area. The sun came over the horizon and rays shot into the area, lighting up everything so it was easy to see the equipment.
Trying to still her angst over Gil coming out at some point, she busied herself with her notepad and pen. Every piece of machinery in this place, including the floor, was dusty and needed a good sweeping. Each one needed a full, thorough assessment by her.
Above her, the cooing of mourning doves soothed her tightened stomach. Kai kept glancing down the graveled slope of the barn, expecting to see Gil coming her way. The morning was near freezing and she was glad she had on thick, warm leather gloves. The cooing made her look up. She spotted a nest high in the rafters of the third floor where the doves were more than likely sitting on a clutch of eggs. She remembered the dove hunting that took place in Wyoming every September, hating it. She loved the gray doves whose beautiful sounds always filled dawn and dusk. Kai didn’t like killing anything if she could help it. Another strike against her, because her father was an avid hunter.
Walking to the red barn, she opened the locker and carried her toolbox over to the green barn. There was a set of lockers there, and she chose one and placed the box down beside it. Opening it, Kai dragged out a few tools and had everything she needed to start the inspection on the green-and-yellow John Deere tractor. She wished she had a bucket of water, a washcloth and a dry towel to take the worst of the thick layer of dust off the big machine, but that would have to wait.
“Find what you need?”
Kai gasped, jerking up and whirling around. Gil stood there, the sunlight backlit around him, darkening him. “God!” she whispered, her hand flying to her throat, “you scared the hell out of me!” Kai reminded herself he was black ops and, of course, she wouldn’t hear him approach her.
“Didn’t mean to,” Gil growled unhappily, apology in his tone.
Heart pounding, Kai didn’t want to be this close to Gil. He was a big man, thickly muscled, hard and powerful. She saw his eyes narrow upon her and then felt a bolt of heat from her breasts down to her lower body. Damn. The man could incite her body from simmer to boil in a split second. Scowling at him, she muttered, “Yes, I have everything I need.”
“Good. Let’s check this tractor first.”
Alarm spread through her. “I thought I was supposed to do this on my own.” Gulping, Kai just wanted to be left alone, not have him underfoot. When she saw him stare down at her, she snapped, “I know my job. You had something else to do? Right?”
Gil pushed up his Stetson with his gloved hand. “Did you get enough sleep last night?”
His growly demand only made her more surly. “That’s none of your damned business!” She was breathing hard, her chest rising and falling beneath her denim jacket. His full mouth compressed into a hard line, his blue eyes glittering. She felt as if she was in combat mode with him. Well, wasn’t she?
Gil held up his hand. “We need to talk this out, Kai.”
Her nostrils flared with anger. “Yeah, you’re years too late!” Her hands fisted and unfisted at her sides. And, dammit, her voice was wobbling and she tried to shove down the nest of snakes in her gut crawling up to choke off her voice. “There’s nothing to talk about! You left. End of story!” Her breathing was rapid and choppy as she glared at him, hunched, as if getting ready to fight. But he wasn’t her enemy and Kai knew that. For a moment, the hardness melted in his face. His mouth softened a little as her voice grew strained with tears. Kai wasn’t going to cry! She was so angry at Gil that she wanted to slap his arrogant face. But there was no arrogance in his expression right now. His blue eyes were murky looking and it probably meant he was emotionally upset. Well, so was she!
Gil took a step back. He closed his eyes for a moment, then lifted his head and held her mutinous glare. “I didn’t know you were hired,” he admitted wearily.
“Yeah, and I bet if you had,” Kai said angrily, “you’d sure as hell have told Talon to pass on me. Wouldn’t you have?”
She saw the confusion in his face. Oh, Kai knew Gil could come clean and take off that damned game face he wore the way Sam had. But where Sam couldn’t let down his game face, she knew Gil could do it. And to her surprise, he was allowing her to see him. That shook her because she didn’t expect it. Especially right now. She saw him struggling, his expression ravaged.
“No,” he breathed in a gruff tone, “I would not have said anything to Talon. I know how good you are.”
She straightened, throwing back her shoulders, battling tears she refused to let fall. “I’ll bet.”
“I owe you an explanation.”
“Ya think? Gee, Gil, it must have been one helluva shock to you to see me here, huh? I’ll bet you thought life was rosy here on the Triple H until I stepped back into the picture.” Kai jerked off her gloves and threw them down on top of her metal toolbox. “Well, I don’t like this situation any more than you do. But you know what? I earned this position here at this ranch!” She jabbed her finger down at the wooden floor. Her voice was trembling with anger. “And you aren’t going to take it away from me! I’m damned good at what I do! You just need to stay as far away from me as you can get.” She pushed her fingers through her hair, glaring at him. “I don’t intend to tell anyone about us if that’s what got you worried. You go your way. I’ll go mine. I want nothing to do with you.” Her voice cracked. “Do you understand me, Gil? Do you?”
Gil nodded. “I’m sorry, Kai. It shouldn’t have happened. I know that now.” He gave her an apologetic look.
“If you think I’m going to stand here and listen to why you screwed me for five days and then left me without a word, you can forget it,” Kai whispered unsteadily. “You’ve hurt me enough, Gil. I was still hurting from Sam’s death. And then you walked in, devastated, asking for my help.” Kai choked, “You used me, Gil! You bastard! You used me!”
Wincing, Gil rubbed his jaw and his mouth tightened. “That’s not true, Kai—”
“Get out of here, Gil. Leave me alone! I’ll do my job and I’ll do it well. You’ll have no reason to worry I’ll do anything less than that.”
He stared at her, the whiteness in her face and the rage in her gray eyes making him wince. Gil knew better than to try to pursue any conversation with Kai right now. Hell, he deserved her rage. Every bit of it. “Okay,” he growled, “you’ll get your wish as much as possible. When I need to see you or talk with you, I will. Let’s keep it civil and we’ll just make the best of it.”
He stalked out of the barn, the thudding of his boots echoing throughout the building.
With a little sob, Kai turned away, a hand pressed against her mouth. She bent over, tears rushing down her drawn cheeks. She tried not to cry, but it was four years’ worth of hurt, grief and a broken heart that had built up within her. She crouched down by her toolbox, wanting to hide, her shoulders shaking violently as she sobbed into her hands, trying to stop the sounds from being heard by anyone. Her nose ran, and her tears flooded across her face. Damn Gil Hanford! The bastard knew when to take off his game face and look vulnerable. That is what had tricked her into feeling sorry for him, feeling... Oh, hell, feeling things she had felt guilty for feeling to this day.
Sam had been dead only a year. She’d grieved deeply for him, cried often and felt torn in half by his loss. But when Gil walked in, his eyes raw with grief and with tears in them, she had opened her heart and her arms to him. Because he’d been Sam’s best friend. And Gil had turned them into lovers within two heartbeats, his mouth curving powerfully across hers, taking her, making her body suddenly bloom beneath his life-altering kiss. No one had ever kissed her like Hanford had. No one. Not even Sam...
Kai finally dropped to her knees, rocking back on her heels, letting the flood of weeping sweep through her because she knew it was better to get it out than let it sit like a toxic waste dump inside her.
* * *
GIL TRIED TO steady his twisting emotions roaring through him. Dammit, he’d caused Kai to cry! He’d stood at the opening of the barn, halting, turning around, wanting to go back to her and explain everything. Take the responsibility for his actions. But when he heard her softened sobs, Jesus, it felt as if the invisible claws of a bald eagle had ripped into his chest and clutched his writhing heart in its sharp talons, shredding it. And he couldn’t go back in there to hold her like she deserved. Like he wanted to. This was such a FUBAR. Rubbing his chest beneath the black leather vest he wore over his dark green cowboy shirt, Gil wavered.
Just hearing Kai sob like a lost child, the sounds muted, almost unheard, tore him wide-open. His straight black brows drew downward and he felt miserable for her, not himself. Anything she had to dish out was his to take. Wiping his jaw, he sadly turned away, knowing that if he walked back in there to comfort her, Kai would lose it completely. The devastation in her face, the unconcealed hurt in her eyes, made him bleed.
As he slowly walked down the slope, he searched frantically to somehow fix what he’d destroyed within Kai. She hadn’t deserved this in any way. She’d been a loyal, loving wife to his best friend, Sam. And Gil had seen the love she had for Sam in her beautiful gray eyes. And how many times had Gil ached to see her look at him that way? Rubbing his chest again because the agony bursting through his chest made him feel miserable, Gil knew what he’d done to her had been wrong. It had been utterly selfish.
He slowed his walk, not wanting to reach the ranch house just yet, his mind and heart back in Bagram where Kai was stationed. She didn’t know how much he looked forward to seeing her when he and his Delta team came off a mission. He would always walk over to the Apache hangars, look her up and casually ask if she’d go to chow with him. He would see her eyes widen a little, a sudden smile blossom on her lips when she’d spot him. And she always was eager to go eat with him.
Did Kai know how much he looked forward to those special times? To hear her talk, hear her dreams, hear her getting over Sam’s death.
That’s what they shared between them: Sam Morrison. He was a larger-than-life Delta Force operator. The perfect poster child for the shadow warrior group, the best the Army had. Gil recalled the first time Sam had accidentally run into Kai. It was in an Afghan village. At Bagram, Kai worked with a group of Army people who had started a charity for the children of the Afghan villages. She was with a group of volunteer medics, the only female in the group. The medics, all men, couldn’t talk to the mothers or little girls, but Kai could because she was a female.
Gil remembered going into the village because they were looking for a Taliban suspect who had run and hidden in it the night before. They’d tracked him by infrared scope on their rifles. Often Taliban would hide in villages to throw them off the trail. Gil couldn’t get Kai out of his mind, his heart or his body after seeing her there. Sam Morrison was leading the team and spotted her. And he reacted the same way toward her, telling Gil he was claiming her.
Well, Sam had claimed Kai. The guy knew how to turn on the charm Gil never possessed. He watched his best friend sweet-talk innocent Kai. And she was naive at that time. Hell, she still was. Innocent in the sense that she was an idealist. She didn’t see the bad in life. She always saw the good.
Gil was privately jealous of Sam for getting to her first. He’d been so powerfully attracted to Kai that he couldn’t explain it at all. He’d lain awake in his tent at Bagram, unable to erase her from his thoughts or, worse, his heart.
Every time they came back to Bagram, Sam would go directly to Kai. And Gil ached to be the one who went to her, instead. But Sam was his brother-in-arms. They had each other’s backs. He would never betray Sam to get to Kai. No way. There was honor in him although as Gil slowly walked by the rusted corrals, he admitted sourly that his morals and values had gone to hell when he’d lost his brother Rob. By that time, Kai had been a widow for a year. Gil had stepped in to be an emotional support for her after Sam was killed. It was his duty, his moral obligation, to be there for Kai. To let her weep unashamedly on his shoulder, clinging to him, the raw sounds of grief tearing out of her. And he’d held her, patted her back, whispered gruff words, trying to make her feel better.
And sometimes, after a good cry and they were sitting out in back of one of the hangars, Kai would talk to him. She never, ever suspected he ached for her, wanted her for his own, dreamed of her in his arms, in his bed. And Gil never gave her pause to think that he was anything other than Sam’s brother who was there to help her through the transition of losing her husband, his best friend.
Gil could never tell Kai how much he looked forward to coming off an op, landing at Bagram in an MH-47 Chinook flown by Night Stalker pilots and looking her up. Just to be with her. To see her face, those haunting, large gray eyes of hers, to watch how her mouth flexed when she talked, to hear what was bothering her or what had made her laugh. She had been an oasis in the desert of his heart. Gil could never explain why he was so powerfully drawn to Kai. And he never did. It was just there. In his face. In his dreams. In his heart and memory. In his soul.
Mouth quirking, Gil headed past the rusted corrals and knew he had to meet everyone else. By that time, Sandy was up and puttering around. It didn’t take much to know that Sandy was drawn to Cass. The Special Forces operator had a way with people, no question. And in the three months that Gil had been at the ranch and knew the situation with Sandy’s health, he’d seen Cass put at least ten pounds on her skinny frame. Sandy would eat for him. Gil knew Cass was more than a little drawn to Sandy. He wasn’t sure she was aware of it, however. She was in a struggle for her life and when that happened, a lot of nuances slipped unseen beneath the bridge of normal awareness. Still, the warmth that existed between the two of them was real and Gil liked to sit at the table and watch the dynamic. Sandy deserved some breaks in her life. She’d had two husbands die unexpectedly. And from what her son, Talon, had told him, she had loved each of them with her whole heart.
In a way, as Gil opened the picket-fence gate to the ranch house, he saw a little of Kai in Sandy. She had loved Sam with everything she had. And she had been true and loyal to him. Gil’s conscience needled him as his boots rang hollowly against the cedar steps leading up to the massive ranch house porch. He wanted to turn around, walk back to that barn and hold Kai. Just stop the pain she was feeling because of a situation he had no control over. He had been shocked at the depth of her anger, the depth of hurt he’d caused her.
Taking off his hat, he opened the door and stepped into the foyer. There was conversation and laughter coming from the large kitchen down the hall and to his right. His heart twinged. Settling his Stetson on a peg, he halted for a moment, trying to get his strewn emotions collected. No one knew what had happened between him and Kai in the barn. He had to appear as if nothing was wrong. But the truth was that his whole life was in chaos for a thousand reasons. And it wasn’t Kai’s fault. It was entirely his.
* * *
KAI AVOIDED LUNCH with everyone. She had a protein bar she kept in her toolbox, and she kept working out in the barn instead. The day had warmed up, the air fresh with a scent of pine drifting fragrantly through the barn.
As she went to each piece of equipment, she cleaned it up. It was a lot of work, but it made her feel better under the circumstances. Gil was like that dust that had collected on the metal surfaces of the machines. She had never forgotten about him, his kisses, his crying in her arms, as if his entire world had been torn up and would never be the same again. It had turned her grieving heart inside out. She’d never heard a man cry before and it had stripped her emotionally in ways she could never describe, except that it was an agony that tore her up, made her want to hold him, give him safe harbor from his brother dying unexpectedly in combat.
She heard someone walk into the barn around one in the afternoon, and instantly Kai went on alert. Was it Gil? Looking up from where she stood, she saw it was Cat Holt. She wore a black baseball cap, a pale yellow tee with short sleeves and Levi’s.
“Hey,” Cat called, lifting her hand, “we missed you at lunch. Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Kai answered. She washed her hands off in the bucket of clean water and wiped them down on the sides of her jeans. “I know we were supposed to go riding today, but I’m really focused on getting this list of repairs done for Talon. You okay with that?” Kai liked the tall, well-built woman. She was in good shape and Kai knew from Cass that at one time she’d been a firefighter in the Jackson Hole Fire Department until she injured her knee.
“Sure, no problem.” Cat came over and smiled. “Wow, you’re really making all this stuff sparkle and shine. You didn’t have to do that, Kai. You know that, don’t you?”
Shrugging, Kai smiled a little and ran her hand over the hay baler. “Can’t stand to see equipment dirty like this.”
Cat leaned against the baler. “Know what you mean.” She looked around the barn, cooing sounds echoing every now and then. “The Triple H was in the Holt family for a hundred years. Sandy got breast cancer at age forty and, sadly, she had to sell the place to get the money to pay off her medical bills.”
Kai wrinkled her nose and took a break. “That’s horrible.”
“The worst,” Cat agreed softly. “I’ve known Sandy since she first contracted breast cancer. I was working at the fire department then as a paramedic. We became good friends and I’d drop over to that small, awful apartment, which was all she could afford. She loves reading, so I’d read to her, share lunch with her and try to get her to eat.”
Kai felt warmth flow through her heart as she studied Cat. “And you knew her for how long before Talon got home?”
“Five years,” Cat murmured, smiling. “I kinda knew Talon from the photo scrapbook that Sandy showed me. I knew just about everything about their family, the love she had for her two husbands who both died unexpectedly.”
“And Cass told me that her breast cancer had returned.” Kai felt badly for the woman. Cancer scared everyone.
Nodding, Cat said, “It did. Talon had gotten wounded nine months earlier, and so did his dog, Zeke. He was coming home after he got discharged from the hospital, to take care of her.”
“And is Sandy’s cancer gone yet?”
“It is. But she’s got an aggressive kind and I worry.” She nibbled on her lower lip. And then her eyes sparkled. “But I think with Cass coming into her life, it’s helping her to rally.”
Kai smiled a little. “I think they like one another. Don’t you?”
Cat chuckled. “Just a little. Cass is forty-nine and Sandy is the same age. They’re good together. He can get her to eat and has actually helped her gain back some of her lost weight. That’s a miracle in and of itself.”
“I feel love is the greatest healer of all,” Kai said quietly, holding Cat’s worried look. “I mean, I don’t know if there is love between them or not, but loving care makes the difference.” She ought to know. She’d reached out, opened her arms to Gil, who was clearly suffering and in anguish, and helped him. She saw Cat’s face soften and become pensive.
“Love is the greatest of healers. You’re right.” She lifted her chin. “My husband was very wounded in so many ways as a SEAL operator. He came home to a mess with Sandy. She’d given up hope and refused any more treatment to stop the return of her cancer. He was dealing with a lot. I just happened to walk into the picture at that moment.”
Kai studied Cat, the silence ebbing gently between them. “But you fell in love with Talon?”
“I did, but I didn’t want to. I’d screwed up my life, too. I didn’t want to involve Talon in it.”
“I think life is messy at best,” Kai muttered distastefully.
Laughing a little, Cat nodded. “No argument there. The good news is that we’re starting to get a workable foundation under us to bring the Triple H back into great shape.”
“Gil said the ranch went into a state of disrepair for nine years.”
‘Yeah. Easterners bought it, one after another playing cowboy, and they knew nothing at all,” she said grimly, wrapping her arms around her chest. “I can’t tell you how many times Sandy cried over the guilt of having to sell their family ranch for her medical bills. It was a horrible, stressful burden on her.”
“Guilt is a bitch,” Kai agreed, just as grim. “But she’s better now? Coming back home?”
“Yes. The doctors cleared her a month ago, proclaimed her free of cancer. Again.” Cat shook her head. “I just keep praying it stays away this time.”
“Don’t you think that the shock of having to sell her ranch brought it back a second time?”
Giving her a searching look, Cat said, “Funny, I always thought the same thing. I mean, I never talked to Sandy or Talon about it.”
“But you’re a paramedic. You see how shock devastates a person on every level.”
“Yes, it does. You’re pretty sharp and observant, Kai.”
Grinning a little, she wiped her hands on a rag. “I see patterns in people’s lives. I look for cause and effect.”
“Hmm, well, that’s not a bad way to approach it. Sandy was always weighted down by the loss of their ranch. I saw her at least three times a week and she always talked about it. Cried over it. She couldn’t let it go.”
“How did you get the ranch back?”
“Miss Gus, over at the Bar H, which is next door to our ranch, bought it back for Sandy. She’s eighty-five years old and a matriarch here in the valley. Gus is tough, no-nonsense, but that old woman has a heart of gold. All she wanted in return for buying the ranch back for Sandy was a twenty-year lease on two hundred of the five hundred acres we have on this ranch.”
“Wow,” Kai murmured, “that’s incredible. She must be very rich, then?” Because Kai had seen other ranches for sale in the valley in the local newspaper and they were going for millions of dollars.
Cat nodded. “Yes, she is. I hope you get to meet her soon. She’s a love. Feisty. Tough but fair. She worked hard for every penny she has. Gus usually drops over to see Sandy at least once a week.” With a grin, Cat added, “And she’s always snooping around to see what else we’ve done to get the ranch online.”
“Well, it’s sort of her investment, right?”
Chuckling, Cat eased to her feet. “Right. She and Sandy had been ranch neighbors ever since Gus came here from across the state. So when Sandy got ill, lost her ranch, Gus decided to try to get it back for her. And, eventually, she did.” Opening her hands, Cat gestured around the barn. “So here we are. We’re putting our money to good use, thanks to Cass. He’s a brilliant math guy and he also works with Griff McPherson, who is married to Val, Gus’s niece. Griff has an MBA from Harvard and sometimes he and Cass get together to go over the business plan for our ranch. We’re really lucky to have both of them.”
“Well,” Kai said gently, “I think Sandy is lucky to have Cass.”
“Oh, Cass loves being Sandy’s keeper. Talon and I both feel that sooner or later, love is going to blossom between them.”
“It looks like it has already.”
Shrugging, Cat said, “Sandy’s fallen in love twice, Kai. And each time, she married that man. And then, she lost him. Gardner died when Talon was ten. And then she met Bradley Holt, and he died unexpectedly in a car accident. I don’t know if she has enough of her heart left to fall in love again. She hasn’t said anything to me, but I can see it in her eyes. She’s afraid to fall in love a third time.”
“Because she’s afraid she’d lose Cass like the other two men?”
“Bingo,” Cat said. “Cass knows her history. I pulled him aside when he first came and gave him the lowdown. He’s just naturally a caregiver besides being a brainy dude. Never mind he was Special Forces. The guy rocks in my book and I love him like a big, hairy, fuzzy brother.” She grinned. “Cass grows on everyone.”
Kai smiled. “I liked him from the moment I met him.” She crossed her fingers and held them up. “Let’s hope Sandy gets through her fear of loss and lets Cass into her heart. I feel if she does, she won’t have any more bouts with cancer. Love heals.”
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_9e01af6a-1cf0-52b1-88fe-8d8e64047b13)
ON MONDAY, KAI had driven into Jackson Hole to the John Deere store to pick up the items she’d need to repair the Triple H’s tractor. They’d had their 9:00 a.m. meeting and Gil had given her permission to go into town and get the items she needed. As she walked in, she saw a number of shiny new green-and-yellow tractors.
Seeing a sign that said Repair, she headed across the waxed white tiled floor toward the opened window. As she did, she spotted a man in a white cowboy shirt and dark brown slacks talking with a John Deere salesman on the floor. He had looked up as she entered, his dark brown eyes assessing her intently for a moment. Kai felt the power around the man, a sense of control and of his importance. He was dressed like a rancher, not a businessman, but she spotted a gold Rolex watch on his thick wrist peeking out from beneath the white cuff of his shirtsleeve.
If she hadn’t been so focused on getting parts for the tractor, she might have taken another look. He was a good-looking man, wearing a brown Stetson on hair of similar color. She liked that he stood tall and straight. Why she was even vaguely interested in him made her snort softly to herself. She had enough problems with Gil Hanford shadowing her life at the ranch right now. Still, she felt the stranger’s gaze linger on her as she stopped at the open window.
Kai knew Talon wanted her to get replacement parts for the tractor but if she could get, for instance, a rebuilt carburetor for the tractor instead of buying a new one, that would save them money. Talon was up on equipment and that shouldn’t have surprised her. Talon went over each item she’d found that needed to be replaced. He’d given her the name of Joe Hoskins, who repaired tractors for John Deere in the town. The balding man of sixty came to the window and smiled at her.
“What can I do for you, missy?” He placed his long, gnarled, darkly tanned hands on the opened door that served as a Dutch door to the repair department.
Kai smiled and introduced herself. “Joe? Do you have any of these items that are rebuilt and not new? I’m the mechanic for the Triple H and money is tight.” She liked his dancing hazel eyes and his quirky smile. The man, when he smiled, had two front teeth missing.
Joe studied the list. “Hmm, well, I can get half of this list on rebuilt. That’s a mighty old tractor, missy.” He looked into his repair room, which was filled with long rows of equipment on each shelf.
Kai grimaced. “I know it’s old. Do you have any parts here for it?” Kai knew from studying the tractors online that they were evolving remarkably from their forebears into electronic and computerized whizzes. The engines had changed and their old model was most likely a dinosaur to Joe.
“Well,” he murmured, “I don’t think so...but lemme go look...”
Kai stood at the window, her mind running over where else she could find the parts she needed.
“Got a little problem with your tractor?” a male voice inquired from behind her.
Turning, Kai looked up. It was the cowboy who had been talking to the salesman on the floor earlier. She smiled a little. “Just got an old tractor that needs some parts,” she explained. When he smiled, his whole face changed.
“I’m Chuck Harper,” he said, offering his hand to her. “I own Ace Trucking at the west end of town.”
Kai took his hand. It was the hand of a man who worked. She felt the calluses as she slid her hand into his. “Kai Tiernan. Nice to meet you.”
Chuck released her hand and looked toward Joe. “My trucking company has a very large state-of-the-art mechanical and repair shop. I heard Joe say your tractor was pretty old. Chances are he won’t have the parts you’re looking for.” He studied her with curiosity. “Are you working for someone around here? It’s kind of odd to see a woman with an equipment list in her hand instead of a grocery list.”
She felt his interest in her as a woman, mentally rejecting it. Harper was either in his late thirties or early forties. He was deeply tanned, his face long, with crow’s-feet at the corner of both his eyes. There was alertness in them. This man didn’t miss much. “I was just hired by the Triple H. They needed a mechanic.”
“Oh, yeah,” he murmured. “That ranch is broken.”
“Well,” she said, “it’s coming back. The Holts are putting their love into it, breathing new life into it.” She saw him smile a little and she could feel his interest growing in her. Man-to-woman interest. Glancing down, she saw no wedding ring on his finger, but that meant nothing nowadays. If he owned a trucking company, chances were he was fairly well-off moneywise and was married. Probably had a couple of kids, to boot. She was not interested.
“You’re a dreamer,” he teased, his teeth even and white as he smiled down at her.
“No, I’m a realist. The people I work for are like me. We know hard work will bring the Triple H back to her feet.”
Shrugging a little, Chuck said, “In my book, that’s dreaming. But hey, I wish you all luck. Here comes Joe...”
Turning, Kai saw the older gentleman come back with her list.
“Sorry to tell you, Kai, but none of these things are carried by our company anymore.”
Feeling down, Kai said, “Well, do you know of a parts dealer around here?”
“Naw, the only thing you can do is maybe call the John Deere dealer in Idaho Falls, Idaho. It’s the nearest large city to us,” and Joe pointed northward. “It’s a three-hour drive one way.” He reached down and pulled a business card from a tray. “Here’s their number. They might have something, but that tractor of the Holts is really out-of-date.”
“I know it is,” Kai said, taking the card and tucking it into her pants pocket, “but it’s still a good, hardworking machine. It has a lot of years left in it.”
Joe gave her a slight smile. “They make Deeres to last forever.”
“You know,” Chuck said, moving closer to her, “I have a complete repair facility. Do you know how to rebuild a motor? A carburetor?”
“I do. Why?”
“Well,” Chuck said, “I’d be happy to take you over there to check out our repair shop. If you bring in what you need repaired, I have the tools, the machinery and other items you need to do it. Now, I wouldn’t charge you anything but a fair hourly rate to use my equipment. If you needed spare parts, my man, José, could probably find the things you need in our spare parts department. Why don’t you come over with me? Check it out? Might save you the loss of a day having to drive to Idaho Falls and back.”
The idea was tempting. Kai said, “Let me call Talon Holt. I need his permission. Could you give me an idea of costs?” She liked that Harper was willing to help her, but it wasn’t lost on Kai that he liked her, either. Right now, as bruised as her heart and ego were from the blowout with Gil, it was nice to be appreciated by a man. Especially someone like Harper, who appeared to be kind and thoughtful.
Chuck took a piece of paper from Joe and scribbled down the rates and handed it to her. “I’ll wait by the door,” he said. “Let me know what Holt says.”
“Thanks,” Kai murmured, pulling out her cell phone.
* * *
GIL WAS COMING down the porch steps from the main ranch house near four in the afternoon when he saw Kai drive in. She parked her truck with the rest and climbed out. He saw her wrestle with a large cardboard box that was obviously heavy. He met her halfway.
“Let me take that for you,” he said gruffly, reaching out for it.
Kai scowled. “I got it.” She glared up at him.
Gently, Gil eased his hands around it. “Let me help you, Kai.”
Her heart twisted and Kai didn’t want him touching her, so she released the box to him. Why was she still so drawn to him? Why? It frustrated the hell out of her. “They’re parts. I need to take them to the green barn.”
“Okay,” Gil said, turning and beginning the walk around the ranch house. “Were you able to get the John Deere parts you needed?”
Kai fell into step with him, keeping plenty of room between them. “No. But I met a really nice guy, Chuck Harper.” Instantly, she saw Gil’s face go hard, and his gaze snapped to hers. He halted abruptly, staring down at her.
“Harper?” he snarled.
Shaken, Kai said, “Well...yes. Why?” She saw blackness in Gil’s eyes and it bothered the hell out of her. “I called Talon Holt about this hours ago,” she began defensively, her chin jutting out. “He gave me permission to use Ace Trucking’s repair facility to make the parts I needed for the tractor. Why?”
Gil compressed his lips, staring at her. “Stay away from the bastard. You hear me?”
The snarl in his voice tore through her. Confused, she muttered, “What are you talking about? The guy was nice. He offered me his facility so I could make the parts I needed for the tractor. Talon approved the payment and I wrote him a check afterward. Why are you looking at me like that?” Her heart rate ramped up and she could feel the sudden tension gathering around Gil. He was acting as if he was about ready to go into a firefight. She’d seen and felt that same kind of energy around Sam anytime he was threatened. Why the hell was Gil threatened by Chuck Harper? Or was he angry at her? Jealous? Either way, Kai felt her stomach knot. Her hands curved against her Levi’s as she stared him down.
Cursing softly, Gil said, “Let’s get these parts to the barn. I’ll fill you in there.”
Kai almost had to run to keep up with his long, swift stride. In no time, Gil had placed the cardboard box on the table where she had her toolbox. He turned, pushing up his Stetson.
“Harper is a bastard,” he growled at her. “Did Talon know who you were dealing with?”
Struck by the ferocity of his words and the way his body had tensed, Kai muttered, “Yes, I told him. Why the hell are you acting like this, Gil? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Dammit, I’m not angry at you, Kai.” He took a swipe at his jaw, looking out the barn door as if he was trying to put the right words together. “Where did you meet Harper?”
Scowling, she told him. The look in Gil’s eyes was glittering and she could feel his sudden, almost overwhelming protectiveness cascading around her. She remembered that sense of safety and protection in his arms. He was an operator, and he protected his own. Just as Sam had once protected her. In as few words as possible, she told Gil where she’d met Harper and their subsequent conversation.
“He’s not to be trusted. I don’t care how damned nice he was to you, Kai.”
She stared at him, mouth dropping open. “What is this, Gil? I just saved this ranch a lot of money by arranging to use his facilities to fix that tractor.” She saw him scowl, his game face in place. Kai hated that unreadable expression. She had hated it on Sam, too. Black ops men were screwed up so damned badly in her opinion precisely because they sat on their emotions to do their jobs. And Gil was looking like that right now.
“Harper is a bastard in the finest sense of the word,” he gritted out.
She snorted. “I know a bastard when I see one, Gil.”
The muscles in his jaw ticked. “You’re new to this area, Kai. You don’t know the lay of the land yet. If you don’t trust my assessment of Harper, just go to Gwen Garner at the quilt shop in town. She’ll give you a fair readout on him.”
A little unnerved because she saw something in Gil’s eyes that set her on warning. Was he jealous of Harper? That couldn’t be! Searching his eyes, there was worry in them. For her? Why? Gil didn’t even like her! She was a burr under his saddle by being here. So what was his angle at getting all huffy, protective and upset that Harper had done something decent for the ranch? “When I get time,” she said, turning and walking out of the barn. Let him stew in his own juices. Kai was confused by the raw care burning in his eyes for a second in the barn. There was no way Gil cared for her. No way in hell!
As she quickly walked down the gravel slope, Kai couldn’t contain her emotions. She knew that look in Gil’s eyes. She’d seen it the night before he left her and walked away. The sense of protection had surrounded her as she lay in his arms and he had gently moved several tendrils of her damp hair away from her brow. Kai hadn’t known she could fall so hard for anyone as she did Gil. It had never happened before or after him.
One kiss!
Just that one haunting, searing kiss as his mouth took hers with desperation had turned her world upside down and her life inside out. Her knees had weakened and he’d literally swept her into his arms, holding her tightly against him, ravishing her mouth, his other hand holding the back of her head as he plundered her lips, her heart and her soul. It was as if a lifetime of need and hunger had been built into his one life-changing kiss with her. Kai got in that instant how much he had desired her over the years and, even more poignant, how much he needed her right then. The feeling that washed over her was if he didn’t kiss her right now, he’d die. It was that intense. That soul-rocking. Without thinking, Kai touched her lips with her fingertips, that branding kiss always with her. No man had ever kissed her like Gil Hanford had.
Anguish rose in Kai, tearing at her heart, turning it into bloody ribbons that made her want to gasp because the hurt, the fact that he’d left her, was still too much for her to deal with. She slowed her walk, wrapped in the misery and rejection by him. Kai thought she’d suffered when Sam died. But, in truth, what Gil had done to her was far worse. His kiss had been like a telepathic transmission to every possible level of herself. As he had taken her into his arms, capturing her against his tall, strong body, the scent of sweat and dust stinging her nostrils, she’d felt a man in such utter distress and sheer need of her alone. And her heart had opened fully to him, trusting him with herself. She had given. And he had taken.
End of story.
It hurt to breathe for a moment as Kai pushed herself to walk toward the ranch house. It was almost dinnertime. She needed to take a shower and change into some clean clothes beforehand. Unable to shake off that shield that surrounded her, Gil’s protectiveness, she made a noise in her throat, disgusted with herself. How her stupid, blind heart could react to his look of concern for her made her angry and confused.
* * *
GIL TRIED TO ignore that Kai wore a pale pink blouse and loose white trousers to dinner. Her hair had been recently washed, the gold strands gleaming among the burgundy beneath the light above the table. He heard people talking, some laughing, but none of it really registered. His heart ached so damned bad he didn’t know what to do to stop it. Maybe kiss her. Yeah, he wanted to kiss the hell out of Kai.
He covertly watched as she nibbled disinterestedly at the homemade lasagna Cass had made for them tonight. The scent of garlic and butter on the French bread complemented the meal. Her mouth was one of the most delicious parts of her body and Gil could feel his lower body stirring in memory. She had kissed him so passionately, giving her heart, her trust, to him without question. His brows drew down. Four years later he was seeing the results of how his life had screwed both of them over. Kai was more beautiful, more mature, than before. And she hated him.
From Gil’s perspective it was obvious Cat and Kai were going to become close friends. They smiled and laughed often as they chatted. Sandy was looking a bit better, he supposed, because Cass was like a harpy eagle getting her to eat protein, and the nutrition was working. Sandy’s dark hair was usually thin and hanging around her nape, but tonight it was pretty. He wondered if Cat had fixed her hair. Sandy was a beautiful woman and he secretly envied Cass because Gil knew the man was attracted to her. But Sandy seemed to be unaware. Or maybe she was ignoring Cass? Like Kai ignored him?
After dinner, the table cleared, Talon asked Gil, Kai and Cass to remain. Cat brought over fresh cups of coffee for everyone and then retired to the living room with Sandy to watch the news on television.
Talon brought over the notes Kai had made and laid them out in front of himself. He glanced across the table at her. “This is pretty remarkable, Kai. You’ve cut the repair bill in half on the tractor.”
Kai felt heat in her cheeks. “Thanks, Talon.”
Gil growled, “It might save us money, but I don’t like Kai being around the likes of Harper.”
Talon nodded. “Yeah, this isn’t the best of all worlds,” he agreed. Giving Kai a look of concern, he said, “Did Harper bother you while you were over at his place?”
“No. He introduced me to his repair boss, José, and I never saw him again.”
“I don’t like it,” Gil muttered, giving Talon a hard look.
Kai shook her head. “What is everyone talking over my head about?” She gave Talon a frustrated look.
Cass, who sat next to her, said, “Harper is a woman chaser, Kai. He’s got a seriously bad reputation in town.”
“He didn’t come on to me. He overheard me talking to Joe at the John Deere place.” Kai saw Gil give her a look of disbelief, but he kept his mouth shut, his large, callused hands clasped tightly on the table.
Talon moved his fingers through his short hair. He stared at the bill. “She’s saved us a helluva lot of money. And every penny counts.”
“Not at her expense, it doesn’t,” Gil growled in warning, looking each man in the eyes.
Kai’s skin ruffled beneath his growl. He sounded like a pissed-off grizzly. She refused to look at him, again feeling that intense sense of protection suddenly blanketing her. It almost felt as if he was staking or claiming her! Thinking she was imagining things, she said quietly, “Look, I’m twenty-nine years old. I can take care of myself. We need that machinery shop that Harper’s got. He said I could come back at any time if I wanted to rebuild something. He’d charge me a fair-market price.” She gave Talon a pleading look. “I only got two pieces of machinery fully vetted today. There’s eight more pieces of equipment out there. And I think you can tell from how much repair has to be done to bring that tractor and baler back to life we need what Harper is offering us. I think it was nice of him to do it.”
Talon frowned.
Cass moved uncomfortably around in the chair, his gaze moving to Gil.
Gil’s mouth flattened, his knuckles whitening as he looked at Talon, waiting for an answer.
Studying the list, Talon rubbed his brow as if he had a headache coming on. He studied Kai. “Okay, judging from what you saw and did today, do you think the other pieces of equipment need as much rebuilding?”
“I haven’t really done any kind of inspection to honestly answer that, Talon.” Kai opened her hands. “But just seeing these two, the amount of rust, the amount of metalwork and welding it will take to replace badly rusted areas, yes, I think it’s going to be a pretty good estimate of what’s to come.”
“And you work with metal?”
“Of course,” Kai said. “If we had to replace a fender or some metal skin that took a bullet hole in an Apache, it was up to us to fix it. I’m good at welding, Talon. I’m qualified in specialty metals. I can do all this for you. But I need a good machine shop to do it in. And Harper runs a clean place and he’s got all the latest equipment to make my job easy and fast.”
Talon glanced at Gil. “Is Harper the only game in town?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“And the next closest machine shop would be Idaho Falls, Idaho. That’s a six-hour round-trip and that doesn’t account for the time Kai would have to spend at a machine shop,” Talon said.
“I know for a fact what he charged us today is about one-third less than what a regular machine shop would charge us,” Kai pointed out.
“Cass?” Talon held up the paper toward him. “Have you seen this yet?”
“No,” he said, taking the papers and quickly parsing the numbers. His brows moved up. “Well,” he murmured, looking at Talon, “Kai is right—these numbers are lower than normal.”
“Because Harper wants something in return from you, Kai,” Gil ground out.
All heads turned toward him.
There was no mistaking Gil’s words or his barely closeted anger. Kai shook her head. “I think all of you are going overboard,” she stated flatly. “Harper did not accost me this afternoon. I worked with José. I never saw him again.” She saw Gil grit his teeth. The man was jealous as hell.
Cass sat there scribbling some numbers on the back of one of her notebook pages. “Boss? If we assume each piece of equipment is going to need this kind of do-over, then we’ll easily save one-half of what was going to be spent on those repairs. That’s a considerable sum when you look at the totals here.”
Kai couldn’t stand being near Gil anymore. He felt like a nuclear power engine that was about ready to explode. “Look, Talon, when you guys figure out what you want to do, let me know? I’m tired and I’m going to bed. Good night...”
* * *
GIL WATCHED KAI walk away, the soft sway of her hips reminding him starkly of far too much from their past. He swung his head toward Talon. “You cannot let her do this. You know Harper is into the sex-trafficking trade and drugs. There are two women he was dating and both are gone. Disappeared without a trace. Do you want to guess where they probably ended up? In some Eastern European slave trader’s hideaway to be sold to the highest bidder.”
Talon held up his hand. “Look, I’m aware of the gossip about Harper. No one’s proved anything, Gil. At least—” he sighed “—not yet.”
“What if one of us went with her?” Cass asked, giving the two men an inquiring look.
Talon’s mouth quirked. “Like any of us have time to babysit her for fear Harper will steal and sell her?”
“Look,” Cass said reasonably, opening his hands, “why not go talk to law enforcement? The sheriff’s office is in town. Talon? You could swing by—”
“I’ll do it,” Gil muttered. “No one is handling this except me.” He gave Talon a look of warning.
Shrugging, Talon said, “Fine by me. I’ll tell Kai to not go back there until you’ve talked to the sheriff’s department about Harper.”
Gil rose. “She needs to be protected from that bastard,” he growled, and left.
Cass gave Talon an amused look. “Did I miss something here? Or did your SEAL nose catch it, too?”
“What?” Talon asked.
Cass sat back in the chair, rocking it on its two hind legs, hands resting on his thick thighs. “I might be wrong about this, but I sure think there’s something simmering between Kai and Gil. Did you pick up on it?”
“No,” he muttered, rubbing his face. “I’m so damned busy trying to coordinate everything else, I’m probably missing a lot.”
Cass smiled a little. “She’s a pretty lady. I’m surprised she’s single.”
Talon shook his head. “She was married to a Delta Force operator for three years until he got killed in a firefight.”
Brows drawing down, Cass said, “Yeah, she told me earlier about it. Probably why she’s still single.”
“Well,” Talon said, standing, “I wonder if Gil knew her husband. Maybe there’s a connection there you’re picking up on.”
Cass grinned a little as he rose. “What I felt was definitely interest on Gil’s part toward her. He’s like a nighthawk around her.”
Talon shook his head. “A nighthawk is the wrangler who protects the herd during the night from all kinds of danger. Gil is protective of Kai. You have eyes in the back of your head, Cass. You always did.”
Giving him a wicked look, Cass slid the chair up to the table. “Yes, and I can count how many times we saved your sorry ass out on an op, too, because of it.”
A sour grin edged Talon’s mouth. “Can’t deny it, bro. I’m going to spend some time with my mother and then I’m hitting the sack.”
“Yeah,” Cass grumped good-naturedly. “All I have to look forward to is swimming in red and black numbers in my office for a couple of hours now.”
Talon looked over his shoulder. “Better be more black than red,” he warned him.
“Doin’ my best, boss,” Cass teased. “We’re slowly eking toward the healthy side of the business ledger. Rebuilding an empire takes time.”
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_260d05a5-cc11-53d7-a2b9-a879354192ee)
TALON HOLT SAT with Gil in his office at the main ranch house. Both were grim. Talon said, “Look, we know that Chuck Harper is being watched by the FBI and ATF for drug running. So far, no one has caught him at it.” Pushing his fingers through his dark hair, he added, “Deputy Sheriff Cade Garner is someone I trust, Gil. You haven’t been here long enough to know that, but if he suggests that someone escort Kai over to the Ace Trucking machine shop, we need to do it.”
“You won’t get any argument out of me,” Gil said, feeling relief start to trickle through him. He would talk to Garner soon. Until then, Gil had made a decision that someone would always be with Kai over at Harper’s machine shop. He had her back. “It’s going to be a balancing act. Needs at the ranch versus needs of machinery being available so we can use it. Right now, I need a horse trailer. And we don’t have one that’s safe enough to use.” He saw his boss sit back in his chair, nodding. “You need to tell me what repair should be first.”
“On another issue, we need to buy a horse for Kai,” Talon said. “Slade McPherson, Griff’s twin brother, owns an endurance-racing horse ranch on the other side of Jackson Hole. Cass has allotted us fifteen hundred dollars for the animal. Can you take Kai over after setting an appointment up with Slade? Let her see what’s available and then you need to get him to agree to our money limit.”
Gil had never met Slade McPherson, but he knew his twin, Griff, who he respected and admired. The man had an MBA, along with horse sense and hard work combined. He was bringing the Bar H back to life. “I’ll see what I can do.” He knew the worth of the horses he had bred and trained.
“Then,” Talon said, talking more to himself as he looked up at the copper ceiling that had been imprinted with hundred-year-old patterns from the past, “get Kai to look over all the equipment. Have her make up a complete repair list. Tell her the double-wide horse trailer has to supersede the tractor for now. If push comes to shove, we can always ask Slade to deliver the horse here and he will. But we need that trailer as bad as we need the tractor.”
“And who do you want to go with her to Ace Trucking?” Gil wanted it to be him. He saw his boss’s expression pinch.
“Whoever is available at the time. Hell, it will be Cass, you or me. Any way you cut it, she’s got a black ops guy at her side. I don’t think Harper will try anything.”
“You want us to pack a weapon?”
Talon nodded. “We all have a license to carry a concealed weapon. I don’t trust Harper. At all. But I sure as hell like the prices he’s giving Kai. If we don’t use his services, that means we’re wasting a day driving to and from, plus, if Kai can’t finish everything off at another machine shop in Idaho Falls, we have to pay for her food and hotel bill. And we’re paying one-third more in costs. It mounts up in a hurry.”
Gil understood Talon’s position. He knew from his own father always battling the accounting ledger that keeping a ranch in the black was the toughest thing to do in the world. And right now, the Triple H was in the red. Cass had a good, solid plan for the ranch, but it was slow going. Rome wasn’t built in a day, he reminded himself. So Talon was going to be damned conservative, and Gil didn’t blame his boss for wanting to use a nearby facility and save money while he was at it. He just didn’t want to put Kai at risk. But neither did Talon. Gil could see he was morally wrestling with the situation. In one way he knew he was putting Kai in a potentially dangerous situation. On the other hand, all three of them were well-trained operators and would be packing a weapon in case shit happened.
“Do you think Harper would try anything while she was in his facility?” Gil wondered.
“No, I don’t. And that’s the only reason I’m willing to even consider this idea. Harper is known to be very low-key. He doesn’t want trouble. There’s been enough of it of late and Cade thinks that he knows the FBI is following him. He employs only Latino workers. Cade thinks most of them are illegals. But the other agencies that usually swoop down and find them are pulling back. The FBI is trying to insert someone into the trucking company, but they know Harper is watching closely.”
“Sounds like a standoff of sort,” Gil agreed.
“If you can ask Kai to focus on that horse trailer and tell her why, I’d appreciate it.”
Gil rose. “I will.”
* * *
THE LATE-MORNING sun felt good coming into the back of the green barn where Kai was working. She was dusty from taking a broom and putting a bandanna around the lower half her face to start sweeping off the thick dust on every piece of machinery. There were clouds of dust hanging in the air, sparkling as it hit the shafts of sunlight piercing through the barn.
She lifted her head and saw Gil coming up the gravel slope. For a moment her heart pounded. The fear of having to confront him and then fight back her desire for him always left her exhausted afterward. His face was set and shadowed, the sun at his back. He was so damned good-looking to her. He always had been.
Going to meet him at the front of the barn where there was less dust in the air, she pulled the handkerchief off her face, broom in one hand. Kai longed for some kind of truce between them. But how could there be? Gil had not told her why he’d left her. Not said one peep. He had apologized, she reminded herself, when they’d had it out in the barn the day after her hiring. And he’d looked so damned sad, as if he were going to cry or something, but he always tried to hide it from her. She’d been brimming over with anger, and having gotten it off her chest now Kai wanted a truce, maybe.
“How’s it going?” Gil asked as he drew up to her, keeping a good six feet between them.
Wrinkling her nose, Kai said, “I couldn’t stand how dirty everything was.” She internally tensed, unsure why Gil was here. There was no reason that she could think of. And she didn’t want another argument with him. Searching his blue eyes, she saw worry in them, not anger or defensiveness.
“If we had more hands, I could get someone in here to do it for you. Like it should be.”
Her stomach began to unknot. For the first time, this was the Gil Hanford she knew from her past. He’d put his hands on his hips, shifting his weight to one leg more than the other. His face was relaxed looking, too. Some more of her sagged in quiet relief. “It’s okay. I’m good at cleaning up situations.” She managed a sliver of a smile.
“You are very good at everything you do.”
Praise riffled across her. She almost asked Gil if he’d gotten a decent night’s sleep, remembering the tense discussion at the dinner table last night. “Thanks, it’s nice to hear it.”
“Talon’s happy with you, and that’s all that counts.”
Gil wasn’t happy she was here, but she bit back the words. To say that would be to stir the tension that flowed between them. “What do you need?”
“Talon wants to get you a horse. Slade McPherson has some for sale on the other side of town at his ranch. I was wondering if you were at a place where you could stop for a couple of hours?”
A horse! Her heart sang. Kai felt giddy. “Sure. That would be a lot of fun to go look at horses.” She saw a slight curve of one corner of Gil’s mouth, his blue eyes lighter. Was he happy? It felt like it. Far better than being at odds with him.
“Let me go get cleaned up? I look like a dust bunny.”
Gil gave her a slow inspection from head to toe. “Yeah, a little. Go ahead. I’ll meet you out front in the company truck in twenty minutes?.”
Heat soared through Kai and she felt her breasts tighten beneath his heated gaze. That look wasn’t impersonal. Her mouth went dry. God, was it possible he wanted her? Man to woman? The realization was like a bolt striking her and Kai inwardly floundered. Her heart was doing a happy dance. Her memory sourly reminded her of the hurt he’d caused her. “Sure,” she murmured, setting the broom inside the barn. “Twenty minutes.”
* * *
KAI WAS UNEASY riding with Gil so close to her in the cab of the truck. They had a good twenty miles together. She sat with her hands in her lap, tense. Gil seemed relaxed in comparison. The scenery was rich and green, the valley blooming to life after eight months of hard, cold winter. She enjoyed the patchwork quilt of small farms on the left. To her right rose a rocky hill and cliff.
“Does Slade have quarter horses?” she wondered, wanting to break the silence.
“No. He’s got endurance horses. Talon was telling me Slade has a sunbonnet paint mustang stallion called Thor. His stud has won every endurance event in North America. Jordana McPherson rode Thor to victory two years ago. Slade got gored in the thigh by one of his ornery bulls and couldn’t ride him in the event, so she did and won.”
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Lindsay McKenna
Once upon a ranch in Wyoming…After losing his comrade, Sergeant Gil Hanford thought a visit to the man’s widow would be the decent way to honor his late friend. But Gil found more than comfort in Kai Tiernan—he had always secretly desired beautiful Kai, but a sudden, mutual passion helped assuage their grief…until duty reared its head, removing him from her arms, seemingly forever.Four years later, Kai is starting over at the Triple H Ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Born a rancher, she is looking for a new beginning—but her new boss is unforgivably familiar. Kai has tried to move past the memory of what happened between her and Gil, even though she's never forgiven him for leaving her. But even as they begin their journey toward something new and oh-so-uncertain, a shadow emerges, determined to claim Kai for itself.
ONCE UPON A RANCH IN WYOMING…
After losing his comrade, Sergeant Gil Hanford thought a visit to the man’s widow would be the decent way to honor his late friend. But Gil found more than comfort in Kai Tiernan—he had always secretly desired beautiful Kai, but a sudden, mutual passion helped assuage their grief…until duty reared its head, removing him from her arms, seemingly forever.
Four years later, Kai is starting over at the Triple H Ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Born a rancher, she is looking for a new beginning—but her new boss is unforgivably familiar. Kai has tried to move past the memory of what happened between her and Gil, even though she’s never forgiven him for leaving her. But even as they begin their journey toward something new and oh-so-uncertain, a shadow emerges, determined to claim Kai for itself.
Praise for New York Times bestselling author
Lindsay McKenna
“A treasure of a book…highly recommended reading that everyone will enjoy and learn from.”
—Chief Michael Jaco, US Navy SEAL, retired,
on Breaking Point
“Heartbreakingly tender…readers will fall in love with the upstanding hero and his fierce determination to save the woman he loves.”
—Publishers Weekly on Never Surrender (starred review)
“McKenna skillfully takes readers on an emotional journey into modern warfare and two people’s hearts.”
—Publishers Weekly on Down Range
“…Packed full of danger and adventure. Fans of military romance will appreciate the strong female characters, steamy sex scenes, and details of military life.”
—Booklist on Taking Fire
“This was a beautiful and heartwarming story. Grayson and Skylar are an awesome alpha pair.”
—Night Owl Reviews on Wolf Haven
“Readers will find this addition to the Shadow Warriors series full of intensity and action-packed romance. There is great chemistry between the characters and tremendous realism, making Breaking Point a great read.”
—RT Book Reviews
Night Hawk
Lindsay McKenna
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To the best editors I’ve ever had:
Alicia Condon, Tara Gavin and Linda Curnyn.
From the “good ole days” where we kicked butt
and took names in the romance world of publishing…
taking romance at Silhouette to new heights! Creativity!
Thinking outside the box! We, and so many others,
changed the course of romance publishing. Many thanks
to my wonderful readers for showing us the way!
Dear Reader (#ulink_afd97a80-e13a-55c6-a20d-c12bc3986882),
I love what-ifs because they lead me down some interesting, twisted, turning paths. In Night Hawk, you will meet former Delta Force sergeant Gil Hanford, who went into the US Army at eighteen.
Gil met and worked with Sam Morrison. Sam was married to US Army Apache combat helicopter mechanic Kai Tiernan. Gil fell in love with Kai but, respectful of their marriage, he kept his distance. It was a painful time for Gil because he saw how unavailable Sam was to his wife, Kai. He could only sympathize with their plight.
Sam is killed in a firefight, and Gil is there when it occurs. Feeling grief-stricken, wanting to console Kai, he goes to her to offer his condolences. They end up in one another’s arms for five days, dealing with conflicting emotions. On the morning of the fifth day, Gil is ordered out on an undercover op. He thinks it’s for a few days, but it ends up being two years.
Kai is left without her husband and without Gil. She never finds out what happens to Gil. Thinking he’s used her to soothe his grief, Kai goes back to Wyoming and drifts from one ranch to another. Few ranchers are willing to hire a woman to be a mechanic.
Finally, four years later, she ends up at the Triple H Ranch near Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It’s only half a day later that she meets the ranch foreman: Gil Hanford…
Join my newsletter to get all kinds of exclusive information given to subscribers only, giveaways and my latest books coming out at lindsaymckenna.com (http://lindsaymckenna.com/)!
I hope you enjoy Night Hawk.
All the best,
Contents
Cover (#u9775cfc9-012b-5242-a7cb-c563ba8ea938)
Back Cover Text (#u755fefa5-310f-58d8-a919-18a8eb5157e9)
Praise (#u374fcfbd-5adf-5f01-bb90-919b9efd8cb3)
Title Page (#ud27fc74b-d0bd-5fb4-980b-e5e62217b29c)
Dedication (#u54acca5d-dfb8-506d-8356-e0d6c20c755d)
Dear Reader (#u9bd05c69-2be8-57cf-9c8f-019087864258)
CHAPTER ONE (#u7f08a54d-c376-5bdc-a1c8-de9fc13507d2)
CHAPTER TWO (#ufe90c08d-78ca-58a5-bbba-c3565764eeed)
CHAPTER THREE (#u84bdcfc2-e124-5cda-abb1-9fc8ac8a43c5)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u1635bf66-98d2-5ea1-af43-e995a48c0df6)
CHAPTER FIVE (#udbf93241-705e-53a6-b717-4584cc076ef2)
CHAPTER SIX (#ue7c83498-a9d3-5b13-809d-a4abd2d67476)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_8dc2f9ca-7f7c-5955-b97b-bc8ab7fb4be9)
KAI TRIED TO get her heart to stop pounding so hard in her chest. She sat in her Ford pickup in front of the Triple H Ranch, rubbing her damp palms against her jeans. This was the twentieth ranch she’d traveled to in order to apply for a job as a mechanic and wrangler. She’d been to six ranches in South Dakota, ten in Montana, two in Idaho, and now Wyoming ranches didn’t look like they were hiring, either. Worse, she was a fine mechanic due to her US Army time as an Apache helicopter repairer, but the listless economy was stopping any new hires. Plus, she was a woman and the ranch owners just rolled their eyes when she said she was a mechanic.
Kai could fix anything. You name it, she could handle it. She knew being a woman brought prejudice to the table. And ranchers tended to be conservative, old guard and even outright Neanderthal in their view of women. She’d had one rancher nearly fall off his chair in his office laughing hysterically when she said she was a mechanic.
Hell, it was tough enough getting out of the military after enlisting at age eighteen and separating from the Army at twenty-eight because of downsizing. She thought her job rating would make it easy to get hired. In the military, women did so-called men’s work, and no one thought anything about it. But they sure did out in the civilian world, she was discovering.
Kai wiped the dampness off the top of her lip, taking a quick glance around the ranch. There was an opening for a mechanic and wrangler. She was a perfect fit for it. The owner, Talon Holt, was the contact. Would he laugh her out of his office, too?
Money was tight. Kai didn’t have enough left, after buying the tools she’d need and her wrangling gear, to try to rent an apartment in Jackson Hole—if she got the job. She’d already cased the town, looked through the rentals in the newspaper and found exorbitant demands for a small one-bedroom apartment. It was sticker shock. Yes, she had savings. Yes, she could pay that kind of highway robbery, but she was counting on a bunkhouse where she could live, instead, until she got her feet under her. Her goal was to eventually buy a house.
Looking around, the main ranch home was built of cedar and two stories tall, a silver sheen to its aging wood. The roof looked new. There was a white picket fence, recently painted, surrounding it. It was June first and Kai knew Wyoming winters hung around forever. She saw someone had bravely planted flowers in beds along the inside of the fence in hopes they could survive and struggle to stay alive in the near freezing temperatures that occurred at night. As she gazed out beyond the graveled parking area, she saw a number of rusted pipe fences that were in sad shape. This rancher would need a welder. She knew how to weld. That would be a plus, something she could tell the owner in hopes of him hiring her.
Kai sat there, feeling her stomach knot. Desperate for a job, her hope long since fading, she didn’t want to apply for government assistance. It just wasn’t somewhere she wanted to go, and she fought the idea. Swallowing, her throat dry, she closed her eyes, knowing she couldn’t go home. Home to Cody, Wyoming. Home to her father’s ranch, the Circle T.
Her father had disowned her when she joined the Army at age eighteen. He favored her older brother, Steve, over herself. He’d written her out of the will when she left for the Army. And he never believed a woman could run a ranch, so he’d left it to her brother when it was his time to die. At age 59, Hal Tiernan was the same gruff, terse, mean son of a bitch he’d always been. Kai had been an unwanted addition to her father’s life. He doted on his son and barely tolerated her because she was female. He called her Troublemaker.
Rubbing her dark blue long-sleeved blouse that was feminine looking but functional, her heart ached for what she wished might have been with her broken family.
If her mother, Olivia, hadn’t died when Kai was eight years old, things might have turned out a lot different. Kai was in constant touch with Steve, who loved her fiercely, begging her to come home. But home to what? Hal verbally digging at her on a daily basis? Making sniping remarks because she was a woman? He looked at all women as useful only when they were pregnant and barefoot. That was her father’s favorite saying. Kai didn’t know how her mother, who had been a high school principal, tolerated that kind of shit from him. She certainly didn’t. And that was why he called her Troublemaker. He never called her by her real name, only his nickname for her. Kai hated it.
She pulled herself out of her pain. Opening the door, she climbed out, her cowboy boots crunching across the graveled driveway to the gate of the picket fence. Kai heard a dog barking but couldn’t see it. Walking down the red-tiled sidewalk, she liked the wide, U-shaped porch that surrounded three-fourths of the house. There was a large, dark green porch swing in one corner and it looked inviting. A person could sit in it and look out over the lush swales and small hills of green grass that grew thick and abundant all around her.
Her boots thunked hollowly across the cedar porch. She saw the screen door was open and knocked loud enough so that someone would hear that there was a visitor. Heart pounding, Kai removed her dark blue baseball cap, nervously running her fingers through her short auburn hair.
A blond-haired woman in her late forties, who was very thin and frail looking, walked slowly down the foyer. She wore a bright apple-green-colored knit shawl around her shoulders, jeans and a pink sweater.
“Hi, I’m Kai Tiernan,” she said. “I’ve got an appointment with Mr. Holt for a job interview at one o’clock.”
The woman smiled and pushed open the screen door. “Nice to meet you, Kai. I’m Sandy Holt. Come on in. I’ll let my son, Talon, know you’ve arrived. Make yourself at home.”
Kai smiled and nodded, noticing Sandy moved at a halting pace. She appeared very ill, her skin not a good color, but her blue eyes were alert and the smile on her lips was genuine. Stepping into the foyer, she waited for the woman to guide her. She smelled bread baking in the kitchen and her mouth watered. Her mother used to bake bread and it brought back poignant memories. There were also other wonderful fragrances, apple pies baking. Her heart ached because she remembered her mother baking pies just like these in the kitchen of their ranch home. It brought back so many good but sad memories.
“This way,” Sandy invited. “Sorry, I’m a little slow...”
“No worries,” Kai replied gently. “Do you need some help?” She offered her hand.
Sandy shook her head. “No, but that’s sweet of you to ask.” Her face took on a wry look. “As it is, Cass is like a mother hen and I’m his chick. I’m lucky I got to answer the door before he could race to get to it, first.”
“I heard that, Sandy,” Cass called. “You must be feeling better because you were faster to answer that door than I was.”
Kai saw a tall, sandy-blond-haired man with glinting blue eyes poke his head around the corner of the kitchen entrance. He was wearing a red apron around his narrow waist. He wore jeans, cowboy boots and a dark brown shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was rather longish, but she could see his ears and the nape of his neck. There was something about him that alerted Kai. She’d swear he’d been in the military. It was nothing obvious, but frequently she could meet someone and tell if they had been in or not. It was the way they carried themselves and that rock-solid confidence they had about themselves.
“This is my broody hen caregiver,” Sandy deadpanned, weakly lifting her hand toward him. “Cassidy Reynolds, although we all call him Cass, meet Kai Tiernan. She’s here for a job interview with Talon in about ten minutes.”
Cass grinned and came around the corner, holding out his large, work-worn hand toward her. “Hey, nice to meet you, Kai. Can I get you anything to drink while you’re waiting?”
Kai gripped his hand. The man was definitely ex-military, no question. He was probably about six foot two, with powerful shoulders, his forearms thick with muscle, telling her he worked hard. She saw some bits of flour spotted across his shirt. “Nice to meet you, Cass. And no, I don’t need anything to drink, but thank you.”
“Ah,” he said, giving Sandy a wicked look, “she’s just like you. Kai has this look on her face of what is a man doing in a kitchen and wearing, of all things, an apron?” He released her hand and chuckled. “Just FYI, Kai, I do the cooking around here five days a week. And—” he gave Sandy a warm, teasing look “—I take care of this headstrong, wild filly, plus I’m the operating officer for this ranch.”
“Wow,” Kai said, put at ease by Cass’s easygoing nature, “you’re a multitasking guy if I ever saw one.”
Sandy chuckled and shook her head. “I’m going to the living room to sit down. Come join me, Kai?”
“Yes, ma’am,” she said.
“Don’t ‘ma’am’ her,” Cass warned gravely. “Things around here are loosey-goosey. No one stands on much protocol.”
“Good to know,” Kai murmured, giving Cass a grateful look. Already, she liked this ranch. Sandy worried her, though, and now she knew Talon Holt was her son. Was he like his mother? She didn’t know but hoped some of her DNA had made its way into him. Cass was a man in the kitchen. So maybe Talon wouldn’t think it odd she was a woman mechanic. Here at this ranch, they seemed not to care what the gender was as long as they were good at what they were doing. Mentally, Kai crossed her fingers.
Kai didn’t have long to wait for Talon Holt. She heard a man come in the screen door, the clacking of paws indicating a dog with him. Sitting on the couch, she saw a beautiful Belgian Malinois dog enter the room. His alert cinnamon eyes instantly settled on her. The intelligence in the dog’s gaze was apparent and Kai lifted her chin, seeing the owner come in right after him.
“Zeke, sit,” he ordered the dog.
Instantly, the dog sat.
“I’m Talon Holt,” he said, glancing at his mother and then at her. He took off his black Stetson. “You must be Kai Tiernan?”
Kai instantly stood. “Yes, sir, I am. Nice to meet you, sir.” She saw the tall man with black hair and gray eyes, grimace.
“Stand down,” he said with a slight smile. He crossed the room and shook her hand. “No need to say ‘sir’ to me.”
Zeke whined.
Talon looked back and pointed at his mother. “Zeke, guard.”
Sandy made an unhappy noise. “Now, Talon. I do not want that dog herding me around like I’m a sheep to be taken care of. Really!”
“No,” Cass boomed, coming into the room, handing Talon a cup of hot coffee, “she has me. Let the dog go out and smell the flowers that you’re trying to grow.”
Grinning, Talon nodded. “Kai, one second? I’ll be right back.”
Kai nodded, fascinated with the family dynamic. Unlike her own, no question. Sandy was the matriarch. Cass was protective of her, for sure. And as Talon turned and gave the dog a hand command, Zeke leaped up, tongue hanging out of his mouth, and ran down the long cedar hallway toward the screen door ahead of him.
Cass handed Kai a cup of coffee. “Might as well be relaxed. Come on, I’ll show you to Talon’s office. That’s where he’ll interview you.”
Grateful for Cass’s warmth and thoughtfulness, she followed him out of the massive living room and kitchen. It was an open-concept area. Down another hall, Cass led her into a small office. There, he gestured to a chair in front of a massive oak desk that looked to her to be at least a hundred years old. She sat, holding her coffee between her hands.
Cass hesitated at the door and said, “Now, just be yourself. And don’t call him ‘sir.’ He was in the military, but he’s out now. Okay?”
“Yes, si— I mean, yes, I’ll remember.”
Cass nodded and said, “You’ve got mechanic’s hands.”
Dumbfounded, Kai stared up at him.
“I was in Special Forces, a sergeant,” he said. “I was the mechanic in our A team. You can always tell someone who works around equipment.”
“Really?” she asked, still in shock that he could tell by just looking at her hands.
“Sure,” he said, “short, blunt nails, calluses on the insides of your fingers, and the skin around your nails is darker, indicating oil or other fluids you’ve been handling.” He grinned. “Hey, be proud of it. I tried to talk Talon into letting me go finagle those sick pieces of equipment in the barns, but he needed me because I’m good at numbers.” He laughed.
A little shaken, Kai wondered what kind of ranch this was. Talon had been in the military. Cass had been an Army Special Forces operator. She was a vet. Did he hire vets? Her hopes rose sharply. Kai heard the thunking of Talon’s boots along the hall. Her heart rate went up. Setting the cup on the desk, she pulled out her résumé from her pocket and unfolded it, placing it on the desk where he would sit. What would he think?
“Cass make you at home?” Talon asked, entering the office and quietly shutting the door.
“Yes, s— I mean, yes, he did. Thank you.”
Talon hooked his Stetson on a peg behind the leather chair and sat down, scooping up her three page résumé. “I’ve been anxious to see you,” he admitted, glancing up, the paper in his hands. “Good mechanics are rare as hen’s teeth. And when you answered the ad and sent me an email, telling me you had been a mechanic in the Army, I was very interested. Let me read this for a moment?”
Kai sat there trying to relax. Talon Holt was as tall as Cass and he walked like he’d been in the military, no question. His gray eyes were darker colored than hers. She remembered her father hated her eye color, accusing her mother of it being her fault that she had been born with the god-awful color. He didn’t like the light gray color because he constantly told her he felt as if she had X-ray vision and was looking straight through him. That it made him feel damned uncomfortable.
Kai watched Talon’s expression closely. The man homed in on the résumé like a laser-fired rocket. Kai could literally feel the shift of energy around him, that sudden focus. She gulped once, realizing that her dead husband, Sam Morrison, who had been a Delta Force operator, had that same kind of intensity, that same telltale energy about him. It was a mark of an operator. And Kai had known enough of them at Bagram in her many tours at that Afghanistan Army base to recognize one when she saw one.
Was Talon Holt an operator, too? Shaken by the synchronicity, if that were true, Kai felt her hopes rise a little more. If he was, he’d speed-read it, memorize it and have it locked permanently into his brain. That’s the way operators were. She waited, barely breathing. Hoping against hope. Finally he looked at her after rapidly skimming the three pages.
“I like that you were an Apache helo mech. Only the cream of the Army crop of mechanics get that important position. Were you the only woman?” He smiled a little.
“No, s— No, I wasn’t. In my squadron, we had four women. The rest were men.”
“I see you had six deployments to Bagram. You were kept busy.”
She nodded. “Well, if I wasn’t on Apaches, I and a few others were sent over to work on Black Hawks and MH-47s for the Night Stalker squadrons located there with us.”
“Yes,” he murmured, “I’m a little familiar with Bagram.”
Kai was dying to ask him what branch of the military he served in but didn’t dare. That would have been inappropriate.
“So,” Talon said, holding her stare, “if you were being asked to work on other birds then, you were a multi-engine qualified mechanic. They don’t let mechs work on anything but what they’re trained in on.”
“That’s correct. I was multi-certified.” Kai saw a pleased look come to his face. He didn’t hide how he felt. If he was an operator, usually they had a game face on and no one knew what they were thinking or feeling. Maybe Talon Holt wasn’t an operator, after all.
“I see here you were born in Cody, Wyoming? That your father owns the Circle T?” Talon cocked his head, studying her. “Why aren’t you home working for your parents instead of applying here for a job?”
Her throat tightened for a moment. Yeah, Talon was an operator. They had an unerring ability to home in on the exact issue that needed to be revealed and investigated. She told him the least she could, keeping out the fact she had a permanent rift with her father. His expression became sympathetic when she told him her mother had died when she was eight years old.
“That had to be tough on you,” he murmured. “And you have an older brother?”
“Yes. Steve works at the Circle T.” Her hands grew damp. “My father didn’t need a mechanic. I needed to expand my horizons and stay in my MOS after I separated from the Army. That’s why I’m applying for a job here.”
Rubbing his shaven jaw, Talon regarded her for a moment, the silence thickening in the office. “And you grew up helping to repair tractors, trucks and hay balers?”
“All of those,” she said, “and more.”
“Did your father think it odd for a girl to be a mechanic?”
Shrugging, she said, “He did, but I persevered.” Because she would work with her brother, Steve, who taught her everything that her father refused to teach her about fixing equipment.
“What are you looking for, Kai?”
The question caught her off guard. It was a thoughtfully posed question, without rancor. She saw kindness in Talon’s gray eyes, his face fully readable. There was a gentleness around this man despite how tall he was. Holt wasn’t pretty-boy handsome—he was deeply tanned and tough looking. For a moment, a man from her past, Gil Hanford, came to mind. He’d been a Delta Force operator and Sam’s best friend. Kai quickly slammed that door shut in her memory—too much grief and loss came with it. Moistening her lips, she answered honestly.
“I wanted a family. The military was my family for ten years, but they were downsizing and a lot of us were being let go when our enlistment expired.” She opened her hands. “I love people, children and animals. I like being part of something greater than myself. I was hoping to find a ranch owned by a longtime family and become a part of it.”
He glanced at the résumé. “You’re a widow?”
“Yes. My husband was a Delta Force operator and was killed in action in Afghanistan five years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Talon said, meaning it, giving her a frown. “Are you in a relationship right now?”
“No.”
“How do you see yourself fitting in around here?”
Kai was shocked at the kind of questions Talon was asking. No one had ever asked her questions like this. “I’m a good mechanic. And I’ll be responsible for keeping all the equipment up, running and perform routine maintenance on them. Then, when I’m not busy with equipment, I’d like to be a wrangler. I can do anything asked of me because on my father’s ranch, I did everything. I like working. I like being out in the weather. I don’t mind dog work because I always take personal pride in the job I perform.”
She saw his eyes twinkle. Kai didn’t know if her answer meant he was pleased or not because his expression gave nothing away.
“What if,” Talon said, setting the résumé aside, “our ranch manager asks you to go work on the employee house we’re building presently? Do you have any house building or construction skills?”
“I helped my father with roofing, drywalling, painting, laying wood floor, tiling, plumbing and electrical. My weakness is carpentry, like making window openings and setting one into it. I hate hanging doors. I’m not very good at it, although I know I can be if asked to do something like that.” She saw a slight smile come to his mouth.
“You are a jack-of-all-trades and that’s what we need around here.” Talon settled back in the squeaky chair. “I like your résumé, Kai, and I like your can-do spirit. We’re trying to hire military vets here at our ranch. They’re the hardest-working group I know of. They’re responsible, disciplined, enjoy being a team member and they’re the most organized group that I know of. Around here? We work dawn to dusk every day. You get weekends off. I’ll give you two weeks vacation each year. The bad news is that we can’t pay you as much as you’re worth right now, because this ranch has had nine years of disrepair. It means you won’t be able to make the money you’re worth for two years. We have a business plan and Cass has a math degree. He’s got us on track financially speaking, and everyone around here is busting their butts to make it happen.”
“I’m okay with less money for now,” Kai said. “And you’re ex-military like me. I know you’ll give me raises when you can and I’m fine with that. I just want to fit in. I’m looking for a new family, I guess.”
He smiled a little. “You’re good. I was in the US Navy. As you’ve probably already seen, the Holts are a pretty laid-back, easygoing family. Only my ranch foreman is pretty crusty and uptight, but he’s good at what he does. The other thing is, we’ll give you a room here on the first floor of our home. We’re in the process of building the employee house, but it won’t be ready until next June. We’ve only got so much money to buy items for the construction phase of it right now. We’re working to enclose it before snow flies in late August.”
Nodding, her heart was racing, but it was with joy this time. “I know I’ll love working here, Mr. Holt.”
“Call me Talon,” he said, sitting up in the chair. He rested his arms on the desk. “The wranglers’ lockers are located in the big red barn, next to the tack room on the main floor. Just grab one and put all your gear in there.” He looked at his watch. “My wife, Cat, is a paramedic. She works at the local hospital three days a week. She’ll be home at 5:00 p.m. We’ll eat at six sharp, in the kitchen. Cass is a helluva chef. The guy missed his calling and he should have gone to chef school. He’d probably have his own TV show by now.” Talon grinned. “We’re lucky to have him.”
“Your mother seems to really like him. He’s very kind and gentle with her.”
Talon lost his smile. “My mother’s just gotten through her last round of chemo and radiation. This is her second go-around with breast cancer.”
Kai winced. “Oh, no...” She saw the pain in Talon’s darkening gray eyes. He loved his mother very much.
“There may be days,” Talon said more softly, “that me or the foreman might ask you to do a little caregiving for her instead of being out riding fence. Would you be up for that?”
“Of course. I like Sandy. She’s very kind.” Like her son, she thought. The joy bubbling through Kai was fierce, like a tsunami, and she tried to keep a serious face because of the worry she saw in Talon’s eyes. “I see you have a dog. He’s beautiful.”
Talon grimaced. “You need to know that he’s a US Navy SEAL trained combat assault dog. Zeke and I were together for three years before we both got wounded in a firefight. I’ll make sure to introduce you to him so he knows you’re a friend of mine, not an enemy to bite.”
Her eyes widened. “You were a SEAL?” She saw his face turn grim and she saw anguish in his eyes for a split second, and then it was gone.
“Up until about nine months ago,” he said gruffly. “I came home to take care of my mother and get our ranch back on its feet.”
Nodding, Kai felt the sting of tears in the back of her eyes. “I would never have thought you were a SEAL.”
He smiled a little. “No?” He rose and pushed the chair back.
Kai stood. “Operators wear game faces. You don’t.”
“My wife is teaching me to let that be a thing of the past.” Talon opened the door for her. “Go into the kitchen and ask Cass to show you to your bedroom. He’ll get you squared away. And then, take your wrangling equipment to the locker in the barn. By that time, my foreman should be back from his run to town. If you happen to run into him, introduce yourself. If not, you’ll meet him tonight at dinner.”
“Good enough,” Kai murmured. Her voice lowered with feeling. “Thank you for giving me a chance, Talon. I promise, I won’t let you or your family down.”
He patted her shoulder. “I believe you, Kai. Welcome home.”
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_6c89287d-e718-589a-814b-b57141114b03)
GIL HANFORD DROVE in with the flatbed truck filled with sixty bales of straw for the horse stalls on the Triple H Ranch. It was midafternoon as he backed the truck up to the graveled slope that led up to the main red barn. The huge doors were slid open at both ends to allow a breeze through the massive three-story building. He was hoping that Talon Holt had hired someone to do this kind of work, leaving him free to do other more important things to get this broken-down ranch back online.
He thought he spotted someone near the lockers, but the shadows were deep inside the barn because no one had turned on the overhead lights. Could be Cass. But, God knew, his duties were stretched thin, too, which is why his boss needed to hire another wrangler. And soon.
As he backed the truck up into the wide concrete breezeway, ten wooden box stalls on one side and the tack room and wrangler locker area on the other side, he did spot someone standing in front of an open locker. Unable to get a good look at him because he was backing up the truck, Gil’s hopes rose. All he saw was the backside of the person. Had Talon hired a wrangler?
Turning off the engine, Gil climbed out of the cab and shut the door. The whicker of several horses in nearby box stalls greeted him. He inhaled the scent of the alfalfa and timothy-grass hay stored up on the second floor above them. It was a good, clean smell, one he grew up with on his father’s ranch near Billings, Montana.
He felt his left knee gripe, a war wound that had gotten him released from Delta Force and the Army a year ago. His kneecap had been broken during a firefight and he’d been airlifted out by medevac to Bagram, undergoing immediate stabilization. And then he was flown by an Air Force C-5 to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany, for the surgery. The best orthopedic surgeons in the world were there and Gil was grateful they were able to save his kneecap.
Now, it got grumpy if it was in one position for too long. Moving his leg and flexing it, the stiffness dissolved. Pushing the brim of his tan Stetson up on his brow, he wanted to see who else was in the barn. As foreman, it was his job to know where his people were at all times. He had responsibility for the day-to-day operation of this teetering ranch that was struggling to make a comeback.
Gil smiled to himself as he walked casually around the end of the truck stacked five bales high with straw to be used for the box stalls. Getting this job three months ago had been a godsend for him. And, like this ranch, he was making a comeback, too.
Gil saw whoever it was place a big toolbox into the large locker. Damn if that backside didn’t look familiar. His eyes narrowed. The person had short red hair, built small for a man. He halted about six feet from the unknown wrangler who was crouched down, pushing the toolbox into the locker.
“Excuse me,” he rumbled.
The deep, male voice caught Kai by surprised. She didn’t mean to gasp. As she stood and turned, her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. It was Gil Hanford! For a second, Kai felt dizzy, as if someone had hit her in the head and she was staggering from the blow. And then her heart ripped with such pain that she took a step back, hitting the locker door with her back.
Instantly anger surged through her, along with a tangle of confused feelings that tightened in her throat. “Wh-what are you doing here?” she managed in a shaky tone, disbelief in it.
Gil scowled, staring down at her. “I might ask you the same thing,” he growled defensively.
Touching wisps of auburn hair across her brow, Kai tried to get herself under control, the shock of meeting him nearly overwhelming her. Gil had been her husband’s best friend, both Delta Force operators and on the same team. She saw his blue eyes grow to slits, felt his gaze rake her like invisible talons from head to toe. Feeling vulnerable, stripped emotionally, rage rolled through her. “I was just hired by Mr. Holt,” she snapped, her voice wobbling with feelings that threatened to swamp her. And yet, her heart, pounding as it was, wanted a redo of this conversation. She saw regret, sadness and defensiveness in Hanford’s eyes. Oh, he had his operator’s game face on, for sure. She knew it well. Too well. “What are you doing here?” she demanded, hard anger in her tone.
Gil put his hands on his hips, staring at her. “I’m the foreman.”
Kai closed her eyes for just a moment, opened them, feeling the air sucked out of her lungs. “Y-you work here, too?” No! That wasn’t possible! This couldn’t be happening! Her mind worked at the speed of light. Her heart expanded with traitorous emotions, wanting Gil. Again. God, she could not go there! The bastard had walked out on her after five days of the most wonderful loving she’d ever experienced with a man. Gil had left suddenly without explanation, never to return. She hadn’t seen him for four years.
Anger flowed through Kai. Gil had used her as a convenient sex partner to bury himself in to get rid of his grief. His brother Rob, a Delta Force operator with another team in Afghanistan, had been killed. Gil had seen his brother’s body to the morgue at Bagram and then looked her up.
Touching her brow, Kai saw his generous mouth moving into a resistant, thin line. She remembered that mouth. Far too well. The pleasure he’d given her. Kai had never known such tenderness and vulnerability in a man until Gil had walked into her life for those five days. She’d been a widow for a year. When he reappeared, he said he needed her. Silly her. She’d believed him and they had ended up in a five-day sexual feast that was the best thing that Kai had ever encountered with a man. Yet, on the sixth morning, when she awakened, Gil was gone. No note. No explanation. No email. No...nothing. She wished she could have forgotten him, but she never had.
And now, he was towering over her, all six feet of him, broad, capable shoulders beneath a white cowboy shirt, a black leather vest stretching across his powerful chest. His Levi’s were worn and dirty, but from Kai’s view, his strong, hard thighs were just as beautiful now as they were when they’d captured her legs and held her in place to give her the most incredible pleasure she’d ever had.
And then, he’d run. Kai had never felt so used by a man. Now, the bastard was standing there, defensive, bristling, and she could feel the energy pouring off him toward her. She was only five feet seven inches tall. She wasn’t short, but she wasn’t Gil’s height, either.
What would he do? Try to get her fired? Invent some lame excuse to let her go? Would he do that to her after what they’d shared? She searched his eyes, which were now a darker, stormy blue. Kai could feel how taut and upset he was. It felt as if they were two boxers in a ring sizing each other up, looking for weak spots, a place to get in and punch, taking the other down.
Her heart said it shouldn’t be like this. That Gil was a man of honor, like his best friend, Sam Morrison. Why had he walked away from her like that? Kai knew Gil well because Sam and he were on the same team. They had been like inseparable brothers. Maybe she didn’t know Gil at all. And he’d already proved to her that he would use her and then run.
Kai wasn’t about to let him scuttle her or get her fired. She glared up at him. “And what are you going to do about me being here?” Standing tensely, her fingers curved into her palms, her adrenaline flowing through her, she saw his eyes soften for a moment. And then that implacable hardness returned. She hated the game face an operator wore!
“If Talon hired you, I’m not getting in the way of his choices.”
Kai didn’t believe him. Her nostrils flared. “You’re a good liar, Gil. I have no reason to trust you.” She saw him take a step back, rage in his face.
“I’m good for my word, Kai. If Holt hired you, then I’m okay with it.”
Kai saw what she thought was hurt in his expression for a moment. Gil was struggling to get that game face back into place, but her sharp words were like a slap to his face and he was reeling from it. “You’d better be,” she muttered. Jamming her finger down at the wooden floor between them, she said, “I got this job fairly. And, unlike you, I don’t run.”
Gil lifted his lips away from his clenched teeth. He stared grimly at her. “Go about your business,” he snapped. “Has anyone given you a tour of the ranch yet?”
Breathing hard, Kai rasped, “No.”
“I’ll get Cass to do it,” he snarled over his shoulder as he turned and walked away.
Kai’s knees felt like jelly. She heard the hard thunk of his boots on the floor of the barn and then caught sight of him as he walked with determination down the slope toward the main ranch house.
Dammit! Sagging against the locker, she pressed her hands to her face, trying to steady her breathing. Of all the things that life could throw at her, she never thought she’d see Gil again! He’d disappeared like the black ops soldier he was.
Hands falling from her face, Kai knew she had to get herself together. Her heart stopped racing and her breathing began to settle down. God, she had to sit at the family dinner table with that bastard! How far away could she get from him? Her mind raced with terrible possibilities. Gil was the foreman. He could make her look bad. And if she did, Talon Holt would fire her and she’d have no job.
Slowly putting the rest of her gear in her locker, Kai closed it, resting her head against the metal door. Should she tell someone? Talon Holt? This was so messy. Would Gil be mature about it? Let bygones be bygones? Not pick at her? Make her life a daily, miserable existence?
Standing, she pulled the baseball cap from her back pocket and settled it on her head. Right now, Kai wished she had a friend she could confide in. Just to be able to talk this out because it helped her to figure out what to do. Kai didn’t want to feel drawn to Gil. But she was, dammit. Her stupid heart was pining away for him even now! She remembered his kisses, his strong arms around her, cherishing her as if she were the most precious being on the face of the earth.
Guilt warred within Kai. Sam, her husband, had been an operator who couldn’t remove his game face. He never told her how he felt. He never cried. Sam hated to see her cry and would always plead with her to stop because it tore him up so much. Even though she loved Sam, Kai had never been able to get past those horrifically tough walls surrounding him. Sam never let her in. There was only one-way intimacy in their relationship, and she felt as if she were slowly dying emotionally, never fed by Sam in return.
Kai looked around. Just the soft snort of the few horses in the box stalls made her feel better. The scent of alfalfa hay was like perfume to her nostrils. She wished she could erase those five days with Gil. Until he showed up at her small barracks room, she had thought he was just like Sam: implacable. Unreachable. But he hadn’t been. She’d seen the devastation in his face, his eyes red rimmed, seen the rawness, the terrible grief over his younger brother’s death hours before. He had met her in the lobby and told her he needed to talk with her. She’d taken him up to her room to speak in privacy.
Talk had turned into an unexpected arousal when Kai had spontaneously kissed him in her room. That kiss had thrown them into each other’s arms. To this day, Kai couldn’t figure out why she’d agreed to go with Gil to the conjugal building on base reserved for married couples. He was black ops, so he knew how to work the system to utilize the facility. Gil had gotten them a large, beautiful suite with a real bed.
Kai drew in a ragged breath. She would never forget the tears falling down his stubbled cheeks, the utter vulnerability in his eyes as he stood in her room allowing his grief to surface. And when she’d come into his arms and kissed him, everything changed in a heartbeat. She thought the kiss was to soften his grief over his brother’s death. Oh, she’d always thought he was a ruggedly handsome man. Every woman who laid eyes on Gil stared longingly at him, lust and interest in their eyes.
He wasn’t pretty-boy handsome at all. Just the opposite—a kind of rough-hewn face, intelligent, hard blue eyes that missed nothing. His nose was hawkish, mouth wide, his lower lip fuller than his upper one. It was his square face and that granite-looking chin that Kai should have read differently.
Worse, she had no idea that Gil was drawn to her until she’d kissed him. And then she corrected herself: all he’d really wanted was a woman, any woman, to bury his grief in. She was just a convenient receptacle, was all. Nothing more. Gil had proved that by walking out of her life after five days and never contacting her again.
Why did she want to cry, then? Why did she still feel such gutting loss over his running out on her? Before, when she was married, Gil was the epitome of decorum around her. He never once flirted with her or indicated in any fashion that he was drawn to her.
Then why had he sought her out after handing off his brother’s body to the morgue on base? Hell, Hanford had all kinds of women groupies on base. Every operator did. Women just fell over themselves, salivating to get one of those badass warriors in bed with them. Kai had never been like that. In fact, she didn’t like operators precisely because of their cocky arrogance, the alpha-male attitude dripping off them like honey. Sam had to court her a full nine months while they were stationed at Bagram before he’d ever gotten her to fall in love with him.
He was the light brother to Gil’s dark brother. Sam had blond hair, green eyes and a killer smile that made her melt. Gil had black hair, blue eyes and was the quiet one who said little. Sam was always a big, immature kid if he could get away with it while Gil was always the mature, responsible adult. Sam always smiled. Gil rarely smiled. Sam would play jokes. Gil never did.
It bothered her to this day why Gil had come to her barracks, asking for her. She knew he had other women on base and used them. But it was a two-way street and Kai didn’t draw a judgment on it. Whether there was a war going on or not, men and women had libidos, and that was that.
She wandered down the breezeway, checking the horses in the box stalls. They were friendly, big quarter horse types, coming to the front and thrusting their soft, velvety noses between the iron bars or the door to try to smell or touch her outstretched fingers. She called to each one, seeing their name carved on the front of their stall. The big gray horse, she thought, was probably half Thoroughbred and half quarter horse. All of them were geldings. There was a horse for each of the wranglers, including Talon Holt.
Worrying her lower lip, Kai walked out the other end of the breezeway. Down below the gravel slope were five pipe corrals of varying sizes. They were in terrible shape. The other barn, painted green, was about one-third smaller than the red one where she stood. The second barn sat at the opposite end of all the corrals, facing her. The Triple H was a big ranch. The doors to the green barn were slid shut. Probably all the equipment needed to run the ranch was parked in there. It would be her new home.
“Hey,” Cass called, striding down the passageway toward her. “Gil asked me to show you around. You up for the five-cent tour, Kai?”
Kai smiled, liking easygoing Cass. His blond hair was thick and slightly wavy, hanging around his ears and nape, making him look like a scruffy dog. But he was clean shaven, and even though he was damned tall, muscular and powerful to her, his perennial smile made her feel better. “Sure. Can you spare the time?”
Cass pulled his black baseball cap out of his back pocket and pulled it on. “Yeah, no problem. I’ve got dinner in the oven, got the apple pies out to cool and presently have six huge Idaho spuds baking in the oven. I’m all caught up.”
“You really do like to cook?” she asked, falling into step as he cut his stride for her, leading her down the slope toward the pipe corrals.
“Yeah, love it.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Hmm,” he murmured, rubbing his shaven jaw, “about as long as Gil. I’d say three months.”
“How did you get a job here, Cass?”
“Well,” he said, giving her a wink, “I knew Talon from our days as operators. He was a SEAL and I was in Special Forces, but we often worked together out in the field in Afghanistan. He saved my ass a couple of times, and I saved his. Of course, he had his combat assault dog, Zeke, so he was double-barrel trouble to the enemy.”
Kai warmed to the man. “My run-ins with spec ops guys was like running into you,” she admitted, giving him a shy smile. “I always like the Special Forces A-teams. They were really friendly and outgoing compared to the Delta guys and the SEALs.”
Cass drawled, giving her a wink, “Our jobs were a lot different from SEALs and Delta Force types. We speak the language, go into a village, try getting them some organization, help, education and medical support. We aren’t the game-face types like Gil and Talon are. Although—” he brightened “—Talon is really working on opening up. I think a lot has to do with him being recently married to Cat. You’ll meet her in about an hour,” he said, looking at his watch. “The guy’s completely smitten by her. Talk about a SEAL biting the dust,” he said, and chuckled. “All good, though. Talon’s learning to lighten up, be a little more accessible than SEALs usually are. Love is a good thing, you know?”
Kai nodded, feeling an ache center in her heart. She thought she knew what love was with Sam Morrison. But she hit a brick wall with her husband emotionally, and she was with him only three months out of every year of the three years they were married. If he wasn’t in direct combat for six months, he was out training somewhere on the globe for another three months. And then, they had three months with each other. It had never been enough for her. “I was married once,” she admitted to Cass. He was someone who inspired immediate trust. And she liked his openness and warmth. He was like sunshine. Gil was like a damned dark moon. So closed up. Full of secrets. Full of toxic emotions he’d never unloaded, just like Sam. Why couldn’t she have been drawn to someone like Cass? He was an open book in comparison.
“You said you were in the Army,” Cass said. “Are you divorced?” And then he held up his hands as he slowed to a stop at the first pipe-rail corral. “Hey, if I’m getting too personal or nosey, just tell me it’s none of my business.”
Kai nodded. She moved her fingers lightly across the rust on the top pipe rail. It flaked off, dropping on her boots below. “I don’t mind confiding in you,” she said, looking up at him. He was now serious and she felt his full attention on her. “I was married three years to Sam Morrison. He was a Delta Force sergeant.” Her voice got a little choked up. “He was killed in a firefight in Afghanistan.” She saw his eyes go kind with sympathy. Shrugging a little, she said, “For the most part, I’m over it.”
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he said, “I’m very sorry, Kai. That’s rough.”
“Yeah...it was for a while,” she admitted, needing his kindness. After hitting a wall with Hanford, some of her hurt and fear dissolved beneath Cass’s warm care. Now Kai saw why Sandy Holt was responding so well. Cass was sunlight and he just seemed to have a knack for penetrating her darkness, her grief and pain. She looked up at him. “Were you a medic?”
“Yeah,” he said wryly, removing his hand. “I was a great mechanic in my team, which was one of my skills, but my official MOS was as an 18 Delta combat corpsman.”
“You have a nice bedside manner,” Kai admitted.
“I’d like to think I do,” Cass said. He gestured to the corrals. “Let me give you an idea of our work week. Every Monday morning we sit down in the kitchen with Gil and Talon. They hand out our assignments for the week. That way, everyone stays on the same page and we’re like a well-oiled, coordinated team. I think next week Gil is looking to start wire brushing this rusted pipe. Once the rust is removed, we’ll move on to a metal paint to coat it and then a second coat over it.”
Wrinkling her nose, Kai said, “I sure hope I’m sent to fix machinery,” and she grinned. Wire brushing was labor intensive on the wrangler’s part. It was hard on shoulders, joints, arms and hands. She heard Cass chuckle.
“I’ll bet you are. Come on, let’s go over to the green barn. That’s where all the equipment is kept. None of it is working, by the way.”
Rubbing her hands together, Kai grinned. “Good, that means Talon will let me do what I’m best at—being a mechanic.”
“Gil’s the one who decides,” Cass said, walking her around one corral.
“Once he gives out assignments, can you get him to change his mind?”
Cass shrugged. “He’s a pretty set dude. Even Talon can’t get him to do some things. But, hey, he’s the foreman for a reason. Right? And he came from a big Montana ranch near Billings, so he knows what he’s doing.”
There was so little Kai knew about Gil. Oh, she knew his body, but God, they didn’t talk about much during those five incredible lust-filled days. They had come together like two lost souls, hurting, full of grief, lonely and needing love. Maybe not love, Kai self-corrected. Maybe just horny as hell after no sex for a year after Sam’s death. And she knew for men, at least most of them, when they had sex, it did not equal emotion or love, like it did for a woman. Each gender came to the bedroom with different perspectives, expectations and realities, and suffered from different outcomes. That’s why Gil had walked away. For him, it was just sex. Relieving himself. For her, it was an entirely different experience; there were emotions and heart involved with him that she’d never realized until that moment. Kai wondered if she lived a life with blinders on all the time.
She pulled herself out of her rumination as Cass pushed hard and the huge hanging door grudgingly slid open. He walked in and turned on the overhead lights. What she saw was farm and ranch equipment with a lot of dust on it.
“Uh-oh,” Cass teased, leaning against the door opening, arms across his massive chest. “I see that look in your eye. Mechanics get a gleam that’s unmistakable. I’ll bet you’re just dying to get your hands on these metal monsters.” He chuckled, his grin widening.
She walked over to the John Deere tractor. All four tires were flat. Kai had a keen eye and swept over it from stem to stern. “You’re right,” she confessed with a laugh. Cass made a lot of her fear over what Gil might do to get rid of her dissolve. Once she started to work on these machines and showed Talon how quick and good she was, it wouldn’t matter what Gil said. Talon would keep her over any protests he made.
Remembering Gil’s face, that hurt that had crossed it when she’d accused him of trying to get rid of her, made Kai hesitate in her cruel judgment of him. He had always been a man of impeccable morals and values when she knew him. He was always respectful toward her, protective when Sam was away on a special mission and she was stationed at Bagram. If Gil and the rest of his team came in for a brief R & R between missions, he would always come to see her. Ask how she was. Did she need anything? That was how Delta brothers took care of their own. Not that many wives of a Delta operator were at Bagram. She was the only one.
Gil would escort her to the chow hall; they’d eat, talk about Sam and herself. Gil never once talked about himself. Kai had thought he was a closed book to the outside world. She was sure within the Delta Force brotherhood, he was much more open and forthcoming. Never once did Gil let on he was attracted to her. And then, Kai grimaced, Gil had clearly shown her, without a doubt, that all he wanted from her was sex. Instead of a one-night stand, it had developed into a five-night stand. How could she have been so blind? So stupid?
“Hey,” Cass called from the door, “I need to get back to the house. About time to set the table and start getting stuff ready for our 1800 chow hall.”
She grinned, liking his dropping into military lingo. “Everything in the kitchen smelled so good when I first arrived, I can hardly wait to eat tonight.”
Cass let his arms fall to his sides. “Don’t come late. It’s a food fight every night,” he warned her with a wicked grin.
She laughed, knowing he was teasing her. Cass was so easy to read in comparison to Gil. Moving between the hay baler and the tractor, and checking out the horse and cattle trailers, Kai knew she had her work cut out for her. Every tire would have to be replaced. That was a lot of money. Pulling out her notepad and pen, she started making notes on each machine. Moving between them, Kai got lost in the needs of each one. When she looked up later, she saw a tall, very well-built, black-haired woman coming her way. She was wearing jeans, a red long-sleeved tee and cowboy boots. Kai went out to the front of the barn to greet her.
“Hi,” Kai said, holding out her hand, “I’m Kai Tiernan.”
“Cat Holt. What are you up to?” she said, and shook her hand.
“Just taking notes,” Kai said, gesturing toward the inner barn. She liked the tall woman. She had slightly curled black hair that lay like a cloak around her proud shoulders. It was Cat’s blue eyes, large and sparkling with life, that drew Kai. “Are you just getting home from the hospital?”
Cat moved into the barn with her. “Yes.” She rubbed her long, slender hands. “It’s Friday. I have the whole weekend at the ranch and I can hardly wait to throw my leg over my horse and start riding some fence.” She grinned over at Kai. “Maybe you’d like to join me? Get a feel for the rest of our ranch?”
“I’d love to,” Kai said eagerly. There was an earthy warmth to Cat Holt and her smile was often, her eyes also kind looking, like Cass’s eyes. But then, they were both medical people and they couldn’t be in a service field career like that without a lot of compassion in them.
“Cass said that he’d lost you to the depths of the green barn,” Cat told her, walking among the equipment. “He said you had that gleam in your eye.”
Chuckling, Kai said, “Guilty as charged. My hands are positively itching to get started on getting these beasts up and running.”
“Well,” Cat warned, sliding her fingers over the John Deere tractor’s fender and gathering lots of dust on them, “our budget can’t handle all the repairs. I’m sure Gil will give you the go-ahead, most likely, on the tractor, because we really need it in service now.”
“I grew up on a ranch and I helped my dad with the accounting books,” Kai told her as they left the barn. “It’s a balancing act, for sure.”
Cat nodded. She pushed the large door shut and locked it. “Monday morning at nine o’clock, there’s a meeting in our kitchen. Cass always makes cinnamon rolls, which draws every wrangler on the ranch.” She laughed. “After everyone gets their quota of cinnamon rolls, Talon and Gil will go over the week’s assignments.”
“I love cinnamon rolls. Nothing like a hot one coming out of the oven. It sounds like you’re really organized.” She walked down the slope with Cat. Above them the sun was in the western blue sky. It was beautiful here and Kai was so grateful to have landed a job at this ranch. If only Gil weren’t here. And every night, she’d have to sit at the same table and eat with him. Her stomach tightened. Kai was already losing her appetite. When Gil put on that game face, he was a tough hombre and nobody cracked that steel facade of his. No one. Except her. During those nights of endless pleasure with him. Then, she’d seen the real man beneath it, and he had taken her breath away.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_571c3874-5891-524f-8e36-29c52ce43198)
THE LAST PLACE Gil wanted to be at dinner was with the Holt family. He’d always looked forward to it up until tonight. Dammit, Kai was here. He was still reeling from meeting her in the barn earlier. The family sat down, Sandy at the head of the table, Cass to her right, Kai opposite him and, thank God, Talon and Cat and himself at the other end of the long trestle table. It could easily seat fourteen people for the holidays.
Gil had breathed a deep sigh of relief when Cass asked Kai to sit opposite him. Actually, it had been Sandy who requested her presence there, a good sign she liked Kai. Who wouldn’t? There was some quiet table talk, some laughter and smiles, but Gil felt like hell. He stole a glance in Kai’s direction. His whole body tightened in memory of her in his arms. Jesus, he’d never forgotten those torrid five days with her. Not that he’d tried. The look on her face when she realized it was him was one of mixed emotions. He’d seen Kai’s shock, hurt and then anger come to her face. Kai could never hide how she felt. It was one of the many things that drew him to her. Unlike himself, who was so stove up that even Cass teased him about never smiling or being more robot than human.
Gil wanted to be close to Kai. Smell her scent. Touch her skin. He remembered all of her. Every scent, every small cry of pleasure, that husky voice of hers afterward, when they were both weak and sated with one another.
He passed the glazed carrots to Cat, who thanked him. Gil wasn’t sure who was more miserable right now: Kai or himself. But for different reasons.
When the thick slices of pot roast came his way, he took an ample amount. Working ten hours a day meant loading up on protein and carbs. The huge Idaho baked potato on his plate was slathered with cheese, crumbled bacon and heavy dollops of thick sour cream.
Earlier, everyone had gone to their respective rooms, taken turns in the bathroom on the first floor, cleaning up, getting a shower and putting on a set of clean clothes before dining. Gil swore he could smell the scent of orange shampoo that Kai had used in her hair. Those thick auburn strands gleamed beneath the hurricane lamp chandelier that hung high above the long table. She looked beautiful in a pale pink sweater, a set of pale blue slacks and sensible leather shoes. The small pearl earrings adorned her delicate lobes, and he sharply remembered tasting, teasing and kissing each of them and her sensual reaction. Kai looked fragile and that hit Gil hard. The strained expression on her face was his fault. Damn, he hadn’t handled that meeting today worth shit. He hadn’t meant to get angry at her, but it hurt when she accused him of running. Well, he had. But she didn’t know the rest of the story.
Gil covertly watched her as she passed Talon a bowl of thick brown gravy, which he poured across the slabs of beef. Kai was shy, but she’d always been that way. Her mouth stirred him, and Gil inwardly groaned. Just the dainty way she ate, that full mouth of hers lush with promise, sent streaks of heat into his lower body. Harshly, he told himself there was no way to rebuild the broken bridge that loomed like the Grand Canyon between them. She saw him as an irresponsible bastard who had taken advantage of her and given nothing in return except to disappear out of her life. Dammit.
Sandy Holt gave Kai a gentle look as she nibbled haphazardly at the food Cass had put on her plate. “Kai? Tell us about your family. Where do they live?”
Kai blotted her mouth with the pink linen napkin and told them. She looked at all of them as she spoke and tried to avoid Gil’s stormy, narrowed look, her voice faltering slightly.
“And how many in your family?” Sandy inquired.
“I have one older brother, Steve.”
“Did he go into the military like you?”
Kai shook her head. “No, he loved ranching and Dad wanted Steve to stay there to teach him how to run it.”
“Well,” Sandy said, patting her arm in a motherly fashion, “you served your country and we’re all grateful for your service. You need to know that.”
Gil saw a faint blush touch Kai’s sloped cheeks. The ache in his chest intensified. Even though she did a man’s job, she was excruciatingly feminine. Oh, he knew she wore her hair short, but hell, with the heat in Afghanistan, over a hundred degrees every day in the summer, he didn’t blame her. There was a wishful part of him that wondered what her auburn hair that glinted with gold and burgundy beneath the lamplight would feel like as he sifted his fingers through those strands once more. He remembered those silky textures and he felt himself hardening. Not what he wanted at a dinner table.
The woman had always made him want her from the moment Sam had introduced Kai proudly to him. It was the darkest, deepest secret he’d kept from his best friend. And Gil would never have told Sam that he wanted Kai for his own. That just wasn’t going to happen. He’d loved Sam like a brother and they’d gone through many years as operators, saving one another’s ass. Even today, when he thought of Sam, he missed him. And he was glad he’d never given one hint of how much he desired Kai. Neither of them knew his secret.
“Gil?”
He looked up, jerking out of his dark, heated thoughts. Sandy smiled sweetly at him. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked if you were going to take Kai around our ranch tomorrow. You know? Ride the fence line? Let her get a feel for our place?”
“Oh,” Cat said enthusiastically, “I had already asked Kai if she’d go for a ride tomorrow morning with me.”
Gil felt relief. He wasn’t prepared to spend quality time with Kai. Not yet. “That’s fine, Cat,” he told her. “I got a lot to do Saturday morning.” Gil glanced up to see the look in Kai’s large gray eyes. She was relieved, too. Obviously, she wanted nothing to do with him. His heart twinged with guilt. And gut-wrenching regret.
Zeke whined. He lay on his doggie bed in the living room, his black ears perked up, eyes shining hopefully at the group sitting at the table.
Kai turned and looked at the beautiful seventy-pound male dog. She looked over at Talon, who was scowling in Zeke’s direction. “Is he begging?”
Grumping, Talon said, “Yes. My wife made the mistake of giving him a piece of her sandwich at noon one day here at the table and he’s never forgotten it. So now—” Talon gave his wife a wry look “—Zeke sits on his bed and whines dramatically from the living room, hoping to snag someone who has a soft heart who will give him some food.”
Cat smiled and gave her husband a teasing look. “I don’t know why you don’t let us spoil Zeke. You said yourself he’s been happy since coming home. And so are you, hmm?”
Talon nodded. “You make me happy. Zeke is on his own.”
The table rolled with chuckles.
“I know what will get Zeke’s attention,” Cass said. “Get him a playmate.”
Talon groaned. “Zeke doesn’t know how to play, Cass. You of all people should know that. He’s a trained combat dog. He doesn’t know what it means to relax and play.”
Cass shrugged easily. “So? Un-train him. Get him a puppy playmate. I’ll bet he’s lonely. Or—” he gave Talon a wicked look “—how about a nice female Belgian Malinois girlfriend? I’ll bet Zeke will forget all about scraps at the dinner table. And, hey! How about a litter of puppies?”
The table burst out into good-natured laughter.
Even Gil grinned a little and shook his head. “Cass, you’re a rebel at heart. Always stirring up trouble.”
“Thank you,” he said. Turning, he checked Sandy’s dinner plate. “Now, Sandy, you have to finish off those last two pieces of beef.”
Sandy gave him a stricken look. “I’m just not hungry, Cass. Let’s give them to Zeke.”
Talon gave his mother a panicked look. “Mom...”
“Well, maybe not Zeke,” Sandy said quickly, seeing her son’s consternation. Giving Cass a pleading look, she said, “I’ve finished everything else. Isn’t that good enough?”
“That’s true, you did, and I’m proud of you,” Cass murmured. “But protein is going to build your muscles back, Sandy. You said to me this afternoon you longed to go ride a horse. And I’ll go out and saddle two horses and we’ll do just that after you get that muscle back.” Cass picked up her fork, spearing one piece of meat and holding it up to her lips. “This is the way to do it. Just think of meat as a fast way to throw a leg over that horse you’re dreaming about riding.”
Sandy wrinkled her nose, surrendered and delicately took the proffered meat off the fork he held.
“Great,” Cass praised her, spearing the last one. “Just one more?”
Gil hid his smile. Cass could charm anyone into doing anything. Special Forces operators knew how to manipulate, that was for damned sure. He saw Sandy give him a sour look, pout, but then reluctantly take the last bite of meat from the fork. Cass knew nothing about cancer or the journey she’d been on twice now until Talon had hired him. Gil could starkly see what the treatment of chemo and radiation did to the woman. Sandy was in a very fragile condition and Cass had been a brilliant hire, but then, Talon had worked with him in Afghanistan and knew his stellar qualities. And Cass had been a good choice because Sandy was tired of feeling bad and depressed due to the chemo and radiation treatments. Every time Cass gently cajoled her, Sandy brightened a little because she was one of those women who would turn themselves inside out for a man who had kindness in his soul. And Cass, being a medic, was the perfect foil.
Gil’s heart jolted as his gaze drifted to Kai, who had a concerned look on her face for Sandy. Yeah, she wore her heart on her sleeve, too, even though Kai wasn’t a medic. He remembered she’d rescued an Afghan puppy who was barely six weeks old, found a glass baby bottle with a nipple and fed it milk from the chow hall. She’d loved that little puppy. And then, six months later in a mortar attack, it got killed. He learned about it when he’d sought her out after Rob had died. She’d cried over the loss of the puppy. There was always nothing but loss in Afghanistan, he thought grimly. That country took everything away from everyone. Even his brother. Her husband, Sam. He hated the place.
Just the softness in Kai’s face, how relaxed she looked, grabbed at Gil’s heart. He remembered that look and it was starting to make him ache for her in his arms again.
Kai was easily touched by everything. And it was all there in her expression. He wished he could be like her instead of being so damned emotionally locked up. Kai had sucked the poison out of him, the rabid grief eating him alive after his brother Rob had died in that firefight. Her care, her nurturing, her maternal abilities, had withdrawn those toxic emotions from his soul and she’d healed him with her tenderness, care and love in those five days.
Scowling, Gil felt guilt eating him alive. Kai was at this table. With him. Jesus, he wanted to apologize, to tell her he was sorry for what he’d done to her. But there were no second chances after his actions. That sent a pain so deep into his heart, his soul, that he couldn’t suppress it even if he’d wanted to.
“Talon,” Cat said, “have you paired Kai with Zeke yet?”
“No,” he muttered, finishing everything on his plate. “I’ll do that after dinner.”
“I love dogs,” Kai told them wistfully, turning and giving Zeke a warm gaze.
“Well,” Talon warned her, “he’s not your average, friendly, lick-your-hand dog. He was highly trained for three years before he was given to me to go into combat with. He takes delight in bringing down Taliban, crunching bones and keeping them in one place until we can get there to flex cuff them.”
Cat gave her husband a pleading look. “Darling? We’re at the dinner table?”
Kai saw Talon blush, his cheeks turning ruddy. “My fault,” she told everyone in apology. “I did see combat assault dogs at Bagram from time to time. And you’re right, Talon, they aren’t your next-door neighbor’s dog.”
“Well,” Sandy piped up, “I would love Zeke to have a mate! I’d love having puppies around here. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
Groaning, Talon shook his head. “Mom, you don’t know what you’re asking. Zeke’s breeding is as a highly aggressive guard dog. He’d throw puppies just like him and most people don’t know how to deal with that kind of energy and focus. They wouldn’t make good house pets, believe me.”
“Maybe,” Cass suggested, giving Sandy a warm look, “get him a male puppy friend? Someone he can bond with, then?”
Talon shrugged. “I’ve seen combat assault dogs out in the field when another male dog comes around them. They chew the hell out of them and damned near kill them. They’re very territorial. Zeke will be the same way.”
Sandy frowned. “Do you think he’d kill a little male puppy, Talon?”
“I don’t know, Mom. He might. I was never in villages where there were scruffy mutts around he could interact with. Zeke’s focus was on chasing Taliban down in the valleys and up into the mountains.”
Kai gave Sandy a kind look. “Do you want a dog of some kind?”
“We used to have a beautiful golden retriever when Talon was growing up. Goldy was her name. My first husband, Gardener, had bought her as a pup for me on our first wedding anniversary. Goldy just doted on Talon after he was born. And I love all animals, so yes, I think I’d love to get another golden retriever.”
Talon put his head down, paying attention to the food on his plate.
Kai smiled gently and touched Sandy’s hand. “Maybe it will happen someday.”
Cat chimed in, “I’d love to have a second dog around here, Talon. Zeke always goes with you, wherever you are. He’s your dog. Couldn’t we have a general dog that just hangs around, licks our hands and is happy to keep us company? And he could stay with Sandy. I don’t see a dog hurting her recovery.”
Talon gave everyone a distressed glance. “Maybe. It means I have to take time out of my schedule to get Zeke familiarized with another dog in order to see how he reacts to him.”
Cat gave him a happy smile. “That would be wonderful! I’d just love to have an ordinary dog around here, someone you could go riding with.” She glanced at Sandy. “Why, maybe even have that dog stay in your bedroom at night when you sleep. Keep you company.”
Sandy glowed. “I’d like that a lot. Goldy lay on the rug at the end of our bed. And in the morning, she would wake us up by licking our hands or faces or whatever she could reach.” She smiled fondly over those memories.
Gil could tell that Talon had lost the battle and the war. His boss was grimacing as he ate, saying nothing, keeping a low profile. It was obvious Talon wanted to please his excited wife, her eyes shining with the possibility of a puppy in the house. And Talon’s mother looked at her son with the same expectation and joy. Talon was gruff, but the women in his life ruled him. And maybe, Gil thought, that’s what love did to a man. It made him want to keep the woman he loved happy. In this case, Talon had two women to keep smiling, for different reasons.
“Maybe,” Talon grunted, “I’ll get Zeke around some dogs in the coming weeks when I get a chance. I’ll see how he reacts. If he seems okay with them and isn’t too territorial, then Mom, you can have your puppy.” And then he looked at his wife. “One dog,” he warned Cat. “You and Mom are gonna have to share it. Okay?”
Cat grinned happily. “Fine with me. Sandy? You okay with that?”
“More than fine,” Sandy agreed, giving her son a grateful look. “Thank you, Talon.”
* * *
IT WAS GIL’S job to get Kai settled into the ranch routine. On Saturday morning, he got up at six o’clock. He opened his bedroom door and saw Kai’s door still shut across the hall. Usually, on Saturday, everyone was up by seven getting breakfast. He heard some noise out in the kitchen and thought Cass was up, preparing the breakfast for the family and wranglers. As he walked across the living room, his heart shrank. It was Kai. He halted for a moment and stared at her.
Kai was wearing a bright orange long-sleeved tee that complemented her auburn hair. Gil felt his lower body stir as his gaze moved down to her fine butt and those long legs encased in a pair of Levi’s. She had on a pair of work boots, not cowboy boots. And she was busy dumping some cereal into a bowl at the counter. Mouth tightening, he had to make this work. He was her boss, regardless of their jaded past with each other. Last night at the table, she’d patently ignored him. Of course, he’d ignored her, too. Gil didn’t blame her for her reaction to him. He could feel a lot of rage simmering just beneath the surface of Kai and it was all aimed at him.
“Morning,” he growled, long before he reached the kitchen. Gil didn’t want to scare the hell out of Kai. He saw her jerk her head in his direction. Those beautiful dove-gray eyes of hers widened in surprise. And that soft mouth he had never forgotten about compressed. And then her fine, arched brows drew downward.
“Morning,” Kai muttered defensively. She turned her back on him, pouring the cereal into her bowl.
Gil needed to eat something before he started the day. And whether he liked it or not, he headed into the kitchen and worked around Kai. Already, her posture had gone from relaxed to tense. Her shoulders had come up, as if expecting a blow. Pain drifted through him. It was the last kind of reaction he wanted from her. But he’d earned it in spades. Moving past her, he walked over to the cupboard where all the dry cereals were kept and opened it.
“You finding everything you need in here?” he demanded brusquely, hauling down a box.
“Yes.”
Her voice was clipped. Gil winced internally. He set the box on the drain board, a good three feet away from Kai. He saw a dark blue neckerchief around her slender neck. She wore no makeup, but being on a ranch didn’t invite cosmetics and wearing perfume. Still, her profile was clean and beautiful. Grabbing a bowl from another cupboard, he watched her pour milk into the bowl. Her hand trembled ever so slightly. He could feel the tension amping up between them. It was up to him to try to smooth things over the best he could.
“Need sugar?” He pointed above her head toward another cupboard. “Cass keeps a sugar bowl up there.”
“Thanks.”
Gil took his huge bowl, twice the size of Kai’s, and poured half a box of the cereal into it. Today was going to be a work-heavy day and he needed the extra calories. He watched Kai retrieve the sugar bowl. When she was done with it, she pushed it a little in his general direction. Well, she might be pissed as hell at him, but she wasn’t beyond decent human thoughtfulness. A part of him breathed a sigh of relief. He watched her pick up the cereal bowl and go to the table and sit down. Thank God, she sat at one end. He’d sit at the other, giving her all the space he could.
* * *
KAI SAT AT the end of the table where Sandy had sat last night. Her stomach was tied in knots, literally. All her hunger had fled when Gil had unexpectedly arrived. She had hoped to avoid him, but here he was. Trying to ignore his recently shaven square face, those hard, intelligent blue eyes meeting hers, she’d felt an emotion that had just floored her: desire. Of all things!
After sitting down, she quickly started eating, knowing that today Talon expected her to make an assessment on all the machinery. They had talked last night during dessert. He wanted her opinion on every piece of equipment, what it would take to get it up and running. She had her job cut out for her today.
Watching covertly, she gazed at Gil’s broad shoulders and long, powerful back. Why couldn’t she get the past out of her memory? How she’d felt that masculine power, felt his tenderness despite his size and weight. Never would Kai have thought a man could be as gentle, as loving, as Gil had been with her.
Tears burned in her eyes and Kai made a soft, frustrated sound in her throat, forcing herself to eat quickly. She had to get out of here! Get as far away from him as she could. But Kai knew that because Gil was the foreman, he would always be around her. She wasn’t sure she could handle it, but she needed this job so desperately. And she loved all the other people here on the ranch. It was such a whiplash and shock for her to see him once again.
She averted her eyes as Gil turned and walked casually to the table. To her relief, he took the other end of it and sat down. She could feel the man’s energy all the way down the table! In the kitchen, she had inhaled the sage soap he’d used, and then that achingly familiar masculine scent of Gil, like a sexual aphrodisiac to Kai, had entered her nostrils. And damn her, she’d inhaled it like a starved beggar. Of all things!
She kept eating as fast as she could, gulping down her food, willing it to disappear as fast as it could. There was no way she wanted to spend any time with this bastard.
“We need to go to the equipment barn,” Gil told her, lifting his chin and staring down the table at her. “I need to get a detailed list from you when you’re done with your inspection. Then, Talon will decide what gets fixed first.”
Nodding, Kai swallowed hard, holding his gaze. She remembered his eyes and how they would darken as he’d loved her. How they would lighten when he was honestly relaxed, which wasn’t often, as a field operator. But he had with her, in her arms, beside her after making such wild, hungry love with each other. “That’s fine,” she said, frowning. She hoped he wasn’t going to hang around her, working with her. That wasn’t something she could tolerate, because the anger and hurt over his walking out on her was boiling just beneath her surface. And she had to keep this job. If she rounded on Gil, took him to task, he could get her fired just like that. Insubordination toward a superior.
“We’ll go over things after breakfast,” he said casually. “And then I’ll leave you alone. Come to me with the list once it’s finished.”
“I can do that.” Relief sped through Kai. Was Gil reading her mind? Did he see the expression on her face and figure out she wanted him the hell away from her?
“Good,” he muttered.
Kai stood up, her bowl empty. As she walked toward the kitchen, she said, “I’m going out there now. I’ll see you when I get done with that list.” She saw him give a brisk nod but not look up. Good. Drenched with tension and the urge to run the hell out of the house, Kai forced herself to act normal. Not scared. Not angry. She knew during the first month of working here, Talon would be assessing her closely to see how she fit in with the ranch team or not. And more than anything, Kai wanted to integrate. She had loved the warmth and camaraderie at the table last night, despite Gil’s dark, quiet presence.
She rinsed her bowl out and placed it in the nearby dishwasher. After washing her hands, she quickly dried them off. Walking out into the foyer, she grabbed her green baseball cap off a wooden peg and left the house.
The air was chilly. A lot more than she realized. Turning, Kai went back inside. As she walked through the living room, she felt Gil’s gaze on her. Refusing to look or tell him why she was back, she hurried to her room. She retrieved her new Levi’s jacket and pulled it on. Patently ignoring him, she left, glad to be away from him.
The sky was pink on the horizon, along with a band of gold. The sun was just about to rise. She saw the light frost on the plants in the flower beds as she opened the gate and then shut it. Her breath was white vapor as she walked around the ranch house and down a gravel path toward the green barn in the distance.
There were no cattle at the ranch yet. She’d heard Talon say something to Gil about going to look at buying a bull and thirty Hereford cows, but that was all. The ranch was quiet, as if it were still slumbering. Kai could see the amount of work ahead of everyone. Her boots crunched on the gravel as she made her way past the rusted corrals. The sky was now a pale blue. In the distance, she could see the sharp, teethlike Tetons with a thick white coat of snow on the upper half of their blue granite slopes. The song of several robins and a cheerful cardinal picked up her spirits. The farther away from Gil that she got, the happier Kai felt. He was her past. And that’s where it was going to stay.
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_559f780d-26b2-5a02-91e6-dda41d5dc0d5)
KAI HAD PUSHED the big green door on the barn wide open to allow maximum light into the area. The sun came over the horizon and rays shot into the area, lighting up everything so it was easy to see the equipment.
Trying to still her angst over Gil coming out at some point, she busied herself with her notepad and pen. Every piece of machinery in this place, including the floor, was dusty and needed a good sweeping. Each one needed a full, thorough assessment by her.
Above her, the cooing of mourning doves soothed her tightened stomach. Kai kept glancing down the graveled slope of the barn, expecting to see Gil coming her way. The morning was near freezing and she was glad she had on thick, warm leather gloves. The cooing made her look up. She spotted a nest high in the rafters of the third floor where the doves were more than likely sitting on a clutch of eggs. She remembered the dove hunting that took place in Wyoming every September, hating it. She loved the gray doves whose beautiful sounds always filled dawn and dusk. Kai didn’t like killing anything if she could help it. Another strike against her, because her father was an avid hunter.
Walking to the red barn, she opened the locker and carried her toolbox over to the green barn. There was a set of lockers there, and she chose one and placed the box down beside it. Opening it, Kai dragged out a few tools and had everything she needed to start the inspection on the green-and-yellow John Deere tractor. She wished she had a bucket of water, a washcloth and a dry towel to take the worst of the thick layer of dust off the big machine, but that would have to wait.
“Find what you need?”
Kai gasped, jerking up and whirling around. Gil stood there, the sunlight backlit around him, darkening him. “God!” she whispered, her hand flying to her throat, “you scared the hell out of me!” Kai reminded herself he was black ops and, of course, she wouldn’t hear him approach her.
“Didn’t mean to,” Gil growled unhappily, apology in his tone.
Heart pounding, Kai didn’t want to be this close to Gil. He was a big man, thickly muscled, hard and powerful. She saw his eyes narrow upon her and then felt a bolt of heat from her breasts down to her lower body. Damn. The man could incite her body from simmer to boil in a split second. Scowling at him, she muttered, “Yes, I have everything I need.”
“Good. Let’s check this tractor first.”
Alarm spread through her. “I thought I was supposed to do this on my own.” Gulping, Kai just wanted to be left alone, not have him underfoot. When she saw him stare down at her, she snapped, “I know my job. You had something else to do? Right?”
Gil pushed up his Stetson with his gloved hand. “Did you get enough sleep last night?”
His growly demand only made her more surly. “That’s none of your damned business!” She was breathing hard, her chest rising and falling beneath her denim jacket. His full mouth compressed into a hard line, his blue eyes glittering. She felt as if she was in combat mode with him. Well, wasn’t she?
Gil held up his hand. “We need to talk this out, Kai.”
Her nostrils flared with anger. “Yeah, you’re years too late!” Her hands fisted and unfisted at her sides. And, dammit, her voice was wobbling and she tried to shove down the nest of snakes in her gut crawling up to choke off her voice. “There’s nothing to talk about! You left. End of story!” Her breathing was rapid and choppy as she glared at him, hunched, as if getting ready to fight. But he wasn’t her enemy and Kai knew that. For a moment, the hardness melted in his face. His mouth softened a little as her voice grew strained with tears. Kai wasn’t going to cry! She was so angry at Gil that she wanted to slap his arrogant face. But there was no arrogance in his expression right now. His blue eyes were murky looking and it probably meant he was emotionally upset. Well, so was she!
Gil took a step back. He closed his eyes for a moment, then lifted his head and held her mutinous glare. “I didn’t know you were hired,” he admitted wearily.
“Yeah, and I bet if you had,” Kai said angrily, “you’d sure as hell have told Talon to pass on me. Wouldn’t you have?”
She saw the confusion in his face. Oh, Kai knew Gil could come clean and take off that damned game face he wore the way Sam had. But where Sam couldn’t let down his game face, she knew Gil could do it. And to her surprise, he was allowing her to see him. That shook her because she didn’t expect it. Especially right now. She saw him struggling, his expression ravaged.
“No,” he breathed in a gruff tone, “I would not have said anything to Talon. I know how good you are.”
She straightened, throwing back her shoulders, battling tears she refused to let fall. “I’ll bet.”
“I owe you an explanation.”
“Ya think? Gee, Gil, it must have been one helluva shock to you to see me here, huh? I’ll bet you thought life was rosy here on the Triple H until I stepped back into the picture.” Kai jerked off her gloves and threw them down on top of her metal toolbox. “Well, I don’t like this situation any more than you do. But you know what? I earned this position here at this ranch!” She jabbed her finger down at the wooden floor. Her voice was trembling with anger. “And you aren’t going to take it away from me! I’m damned good at what I do! You just need to stay as far away from me as you can get.” She pushed her fingers through her hair, glaring at him. “I don’t intend to tell anyone about us if that’s what got you worried. You go your way. I’ll go mine. I want nothing to do with you.” Her voice cracked. “Do you understand me, Gil? Do you?”
Gil nodded. “I’m sorry, Kai. It shouldn’t have happened. I know that now.” He gave her an apologetic look.
“If you think I’m going to stand here and listen to why you screwed me for five days and then left me without a word, you can forget it,” Kai whispered unsteadily. “You’ve hurt me enough, Gil. I was still hurting from Sam’s death. And then you walked in, devastated, asking for my help.” Kai choked, “You used me, Gil! You bastard! You used me!”
Wincing, Gil rubbed his jaw and his mouth tightened. “That’s not true, Kai—”
“Get out of here, Gil. Leave me alone! I’ll do my job and I’ll do it well. You’ll have no reason to worry I’ll do anything less than that.”
He stared at her, the whiteness in her face and the rage in her gray eyes making him wince. Gil knew better than to try to pursue any conversation with Kai right now. Hell, he deserved her rage. Every bit of it. “Okay,” he growled, “you’ll get your wish as much as possible. When I need to see you or talk with you, I will. Let’s keep it civil and we’ll just make the best of it.”
He stalked out of the barn, the thudding of his boots echoing throughout the building.
With a little sob, Kai turned away, a hand pressed against her mouth. She bent over, tears rushing down her drawn cheeks. She tried not to cry, but it was four years’ worth of hurt, grief and a broken heart that had built up within her. She crouched down by her toolbox, wanting to hide, her shoulders shaking violently as she sobbed into her hands, trying to stop the sounds from being heard by anyone. Her nose ran, and her tears flooded across her face. Damn Gil Hanford! The bastard knew when to take off his game face and look vulnerable. That is what had tricked her into feeling sorry for him, feeling... Oh, hell, feeling things she had felt guilty for feeling to this day.
Sam had been dead only a year. She’d grieved deeply for him, cried often and felt torn in half by his loss. But when Gil walked in, his eyes raw with grief and with tears in them, she had opened her heart and her arms to him. Because he’d been Sam’s best friend. And Gil had turned them into lovers within two heartbeats, his mouth curving powerfully across hers, taking her, making her body suddenly bloom beneath his life-altering kiss. No one had ever kissed her like Hanford had. No one. Not even Sam...
Kai finally dropped to her knees, rocking back on her heels, letting the flood of weeping sweep through her because she knew it was better to get it out than let it sit like a toxic waste dump inside her.
* * *
GIL TRIED TO steady his twisting emotions roaring through him. Dammit, he’d caused Kai to cry! He’d stood at the opening of the barn, halting, turning around, wanting to go back to her and explain everything. Take the responsibility for his actions. But when he heard her softened sobs, Jesus, it felt as if the invisible claws of a bald eagle had ripped into his chest and clutched his writhing heart in its sharp talons, shredding it. And he couldn’t go back in there to hold her like she deserved. Like he wanted to. This was such a FUBAR. Rubbing his chest beneath the black leather vest he wore over his dark green cowboy shirt, Gil wavered.
Just hearing Kai sob like a lost child, the sounds muted, almost unheard, tore him wide-open. His straight black brows drew downward and he felt miserable for her, not himself. Anything she had to dish out was his to take. Wiping his jaw, he sadly turned away, knowing that if he walked back in there to comfort her, Kai would lose it completely. The devastation in her face, the unconcealed hurt in her eyes, made him bleed.
As he slowly walked down the slope, he searched frantically to somehow fix what he’d destroyed within Kai. She hadn’t deserved this in any way. She’d been a loyal, loving wife to his best friend, Sam. And Gil had seen the love she had for Sam in her beautiful gray eyes. And how many times had Gil ached to see her look at him that way? Rubbing his chest again because the agony bursting through his chest made him feel miserable, Gil knew what he’d done to her had been wrong. It had been utterly selfish.
He slowed his walk, not wanting to reach the ranch house just yet, his mind and heart back in Bagram where Kai was stationed. She didn’t know how much he looked forward to seeing her when he and his Delta team came off a mission. He would always walk over to the Apache hangars, look her up and casually ask if she’d go to chow with him. He would see her eyes widen a little, a sudden smile blossom on her lips when she’d spot him. And she always was eager to go eat with him.
Did Kai know how much he looked forward to those special times? To hear her talk, hear her dreams, hear her getting over Sam’s death.
That’s what they shared between them: Sam Morrison. He was a larger-than-life Delta Force operator. The perfect poster child for the shadow warrior group, the best the Army had. Gil recalled the first time Sam had accidentally run into Kai. It was in an Afghan village. At Bagram, Kai worked with a group of Army people who had started a charity for the children of the Afghan villages. She was with a group of volunteer medics, the only female in the group. The medics, all men, couldn’t talk to the mothers or little girls, but Kai could because she was a female.
Gil remembered going into the village because they were looking for a Taliban suspect who had run and hidden in it the night before. They’d tracked him by infrared scope on their rifles. Often Taliban would hide in villages to throw them off the trail. Gil couldn’t get Kai out of his mind, his heart or his body after seeing her there. Sam Morrison was leading the team and spotted her. And he reacted the same way toward her, telling Gil he was claiming her.
Well, Sam had claimed Kai. The guy knew how to turn on the charm Gil never possessed. He watched his best friend sweet-talk innocent Kai. And she was naive at that time. Hell, she still was. Innocent in the sense that she was an idealist. She didn’t see the bad in life. She always saw the good.
Gil was privately jealous of Sam for getting to her first. He’d been so powerfully attracted to Kai that he couldn’t explain it at all. He’d lain awake in his tent at Bagram, unable to erase her from his thoughts or, worse, his heart.
Every time they came back to Bagram, Sam would go directly to Kai. And Gil ached to be the one who went to her, instead. But Sam was his brother-in-arms. They had each other’s backs. He would never betray Sam to get to Kai. No way. There was honor in him although as Gil slowly walked by the rusted corrals, he admitted sourly that his morals and values had gone to hell when he’d lost his brother Rob. By that time, Kai had been a widow for a year. Gil had stepped in to be an emotional support for her after Sam was killed. It was his duty, his moral obligation, to be there for Kai. To let her weep unashamedly on his shoulder, clinging to him, the raw sounds of grief tearing out of her. And he’d held her, patted her back, whispered gruff words, trying to make her feel better.
And sometimes, after a good cry and they were sitting out in back of one of the hangars, Kai would talk to him. She never, ever suspected he ached for her, wanted her for his own, dreamed of her in his arms, in his bed. And Gil never gave her pause to think that he was anything other than Sam’s brother who was there to help her through the transition of losing her husband, his best friend.
Gil could never tell Kai how much he looked forward to coming off an op, landing at Bagram in an MH-47 Chinook flown by Night Stalker pilots and looking her up. Just to be with her. To see her face, those haunting, large gray eyes of hers, to watch how her mouth flexed when she talked, to hear what was bothering her or what had made her laugh. She had been an oasis in the desert of his heart. Gil could never explain why he was so powerfully drawn to Kai. And he never did. It was just there. In his face. In his dreams. In his heart and memory. In his soul.
Mouth quirking, Gil headed past the rusted corrals and knew he had to meet everyone else. By that time, Sandy was up and puttering around. It didn’t take much to know that Sandy was drawn to Cass. The Special Forces operator had a way with people, no question. And in the three months that Gil had been at the ranch and knew the situation with Sandy’s health, he’d seen Cass put at least ten pounds on her skinny frame. Sandy would eat for him. Gil knew Cass was more than a little drawn to Sandy. He wasn’t sure she was aware of it, however. She was in a struggle for her life and when that happened, a lot of nuances slipped unseen beneath the bridge of normal awareness. Still, the warmth that existed between the two of them was real and Gil liked to sit at the table and watch the dynamic. Sandy deserved some breaks in her life. She’d had two husbands die unexpectedly. And from what her son, Talon, had told him, she had loved each of them with her whole heart.
In a way, as Gil opened the picket-fence gate to the ranch house, he saw a little of Kai in Sandy. She had loved Sam with everything she had. And she had been true and loyal to him. Gil’s conscience needled him as his boots rang hollowly against the cedar steps leading up to the massive ranch house porch. He wanted to turn around, walk back to that barn and hold Kai. Just stop the pain she was feeling because of a situation he had no control over. He had been shocked at the depth of her anger, the depth of hurt he’d caused her.
Taking off his hat, he opened the door and stepped into the foyer. There was conversation and laughter coming from the large kitchen down the hall and to his right. His heart twinged. Settling his Stetson on a peg, he halted for a moment, trying to get his strewn emotions collected. No one knew what had happened between him and Kai in the barn. He had to appear as if nothing was wrong. But the truth was that his whole life was in chaos for a thousand reasons. And it wasn’t Kai’s fault. It was entirely his.
* * *
KAI AVOIDED LUNCH with everyone. She had a protein bar she kept in her toolbox, and she kept working out in the barn instead. The day had warmed up, the air fresh with a scent of pine drifting fragrantly through the barn.
As she went to each piece of equipment, she cleaned it up. It was a lot of work, but it made her feel better under the circumstances. Gil was like that dust that had collected on the metal surfaces of the machines. She had never forgotten about him, his kisses, his crying in her arms, as if his entire world had been torn up and would never be the same again. It had turned her grieving heart inside out. She’d never heard a man cry before and it had stripped her emotionally in ways she could never describe, except that it was an agony that tore her up, made her want to hold him, give him safe harbor from his brother dying unexpectedly in combat.
She heard someone walk into the barn around one in the afternoon, and instantly Kai went on alert. Was it Gil? Looking up from where she stood, she saw it was Cat Holt. She wore a black baseball cap, a pale yellow tee with short sleeves and Levi’s.
“Hey,” Cat called, lifting her hand, “we missed you at lunch. Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Kai answered. She washed her hands off in the bucket of clean water and wiped them down on the sides of her jeans. “I know we were supposed to go riding today, but I’m really focused on getting this list of repairs done for Talon. You okay with that?” Kai liked the tall, well-built woman. She was in good shape and Kai knew from Cass that at one time she’d been a firefighter in the Jackson Hole Fire Department until she injured her knee.
“Sure, no problem.” Cat came over and smiled. “Wow, you’re really making all this stuff sparkle and shine. You didn’t have to do that, Kai. You know that, don’t you?”
Shrugging, Kai smiled a little and ran her hand over the hay baler. “Can’t stand to see equipment dirty like this.”
Cat leaned against the baler. “Know what you mean.” She looked around the barn, cooing sounds echoing every now and then. “The Triple H was in the Holt family for a hundred years. Sandy got breast cancer at age forty and, sadly, she had to sell the place to get the money to pay off her medical bills.”
Kai wrinkled her nose and took a break. “That’s horrible.”
“The worst,” Cat agreed softly. “I’ve known Sandy since she first contracted breast cancer. I was working at the fire department then as a paramedic. We became good friends and I’d drop over to that small, awful apartment, which was all she could afford. She loves reading, so I’d read to her, share lunch with her and try to get her to eat.”
Kai felt warmth flow through her heart as she studied Cat. “And you knew her for how long before Talon got home?”
“Five years,” Cat murmured, smiling. “I kinda knew Talon from the photo scrapbook that Sandy showed me. I knew just about everything about their family, the love she had for her two husbands who both died unexpectedly.”
“And Cass told me that her breast cancer had returned.” Kai felt badly for the woman. Cancer scared everyone.
Nodding, Cat said, “It did. Talon had gotten wounded nine months earlier, and so did his dog, Zeke. He was coming home after he got discharged from the hospital, to take care of her.”
“And is Sandy’s cancer gone yet?”
“It is. But she’s got an aggressive kind and I worry.” She nibbled on her lower lip. And then her eyes sparkled. “But I think with Cass coming into her life, it’s helping her to rally.”
Kai smiled a little. “I think they like one another. Don’t you?”
Cat chuckled. “Just a little. Cass is forty-nine and Sandy is the same age. They’re good together. He can get her to eat and has actually helped her gain back some of her lost weight. That’s a miracle in and of itself.”
“I feel love is the greatest healer of all,” Kai said quietly, holding Cat’s worried look. “I mean, I don’t know if there is love between them or not, but loving care makes the difference.” She ought to know. She’d reached out, opened her arms to Gil, who was clearly suffering and in anguish, and helped him. She saw Cat’s face soften and become pensive.
“Love is the greatest of healers. You’re right.” She lifted her chin. “My husband was very wounded in so many ways as a SEAL operator. He came home to a mess with Sandy. She’d given up hope and refused any more treatment to stop the return of her cancer. He was dealing with a lot. I just happened to walk into the picture at that moment.”
Kai studied Cat, the silence ebbing gently between them. “But you fell in love with Talon?”
“I did, but I didn’t want to. I’d screwed up my life, too. I didn’t want to involve Talon in it.”
“I think life is messy at best,” Kai muttered distastefully.
Laughing a little, Cat nodded. “No argument there. The good news is that we’re starting to get a workable foundation under us to bring the Triple H back into great shape.”
“Gil said the ranch went into a state of disrepair for nine years.”
‘Yeah. Easterners bought it, one after another playing cowboy, and they knew nothing at all,” she said grimly, wrapping her arms around her chest. “I can’t tell you how many times Sandy cried over the guilt of having to sell their family ranch for her medical bills. It was a horrible, stressful burden on her.”
“Guilt is a bitch,” Kai agreed, just as grim. “But she’s better now? Coming back home?”
“Yes. The doctors cleared her a month ago, proclaimed her free of cancer. Again.” Cat shook her head. “I just keep praying it stays away this time.”
“Don’t you think that the shock of having to sell her ranch brought it back a second time?”
Giving her a searching look, Cat said, “Funny, I always thought the same thing. I mean, I never talked to Sandy or Talon about it.”
“But you’re a paramedic. You see how shock devastates a person on every level.”
“Yes, it does. You’re pretty sharp and observant, Kai.”
Grinning a little, she wiped her hands on a rag. “I see patterns in people’s lives. I look for cause and effect.”
“Hmm, well, that’s not a bad way to approach it. Sandy was always weighted down by the loss of their ranch. I saw her at least three times a week and she always talked about it. Cried over it. She couldn’t let it go.”
“How did you get the ranch back?”
“Miss Gus, over at the Bar H, which is next door to our ranch, bought it back for Sandy. She’s eighty-five years old and a matriarch here in the valley. Gus is tough, no-nonsense, but that old woman has a heart of gold. All she wanted in return for buying the ranch back for Sandy was a twenty-year lease on two hundred of the five hundred acres we have on this ranch.”
“Wow,” Kai murmured, “that’s incredible. She must be very rich, then?” Because Kai had seen other ranches for sale in the valley in the local newspaper and they were going for millions of dollars.
Cat nodded. “Yes, she is. I hope you get to meet her soon. She’s a love. Feisty. Tough but fair. She worked hard for every penny she has. Gus usually drops over to see Sandy at least once a week.” With a grin, Cat added, “And she’s always snooping around to see what else we’ve done to get the ranch online.”
“Well, it’s sort of her investment, right?”
Chuckling, Cat eased to her feet. “Right. She and Sandy had been ranch neighbors ever since Gus came here from across the state. So when Sandy got ill, lost her ranch, Gus decided to try to get it back for her. And, eventually, she did.” Opening her hands, Cat gestured around the barn. “So here we are. We’re putting our money to good use, thanks to Cass. He’s a brilliant math guy and he also works with Griff McPherson, who is married to Val, Gus’s niece. Griff has an MBA from Harvard and sometimes he and Cass get together to go over the business plan for our ranch. We’re really lucky to have both of them.”
“Well,” Kai said gently, “I think Sandy is lucky to have Cass.”
“Oh, Cass loves being Sandy’s keeper. Talon and I both feel that sooner or later, love is going to blossom between them.”
“It looks like it has already.”
Shrugging, Cat said, “Sandy’s fallen in love twice, Kai. And each time, she married that man. And then, she lost him. Gardner died when Talon was ten. And then she met Bradley Holt, and he died unexpectedly in a car accident. I don’t know if she has enough of her heart left to fall in love again. She hasn’t said anything to me, but I can see it in her eyes. She’s afraid to fall in love a third time.”
“Because she’s afraid she’d lose Cass like the other two men?”
“Bingo,” Cat said. “Cass knows her history. I pulled him aside when he first came and gave him the lowdown. He’s just naturally a caregiver besides being a brainy dude. Never mind he was Special Forces. The guy rocks in my book and I love him like a big, hairy, fuzzy brother.” She grinned. “Cass grows on everyone.”
Kai smiled. “I liked him from the moment I met him.” She crossed her fingers and held them up. “Let’s hope Sandy gets through her fear of loss and lets Cass into her heart. I feel if she does, she won’t have any more bouts with cancer. Love heals.”
CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_9e01af6a-1cf0-52b1-88fe-8d8e64047b13)
ON MONDAY, KAI had driven into Jackson Hole to the John Deere store to pick up the items she’d need to repair the Triple H’s tractor. They’d had their 9:00 a.m. meeting and Gil had given her permission to go into town and get the items she needed. As she walked in, she saw a number of shiny new green-and-yellow tractors.
Seeing a sign that said Repair, she headed across the waxed white tiled floor toward the opened window. As she did, she spotted a man in a white cowboy shirt and dark brown slacks talking with a John Deere salesman on the floor. He had looked up as she entered, his dark brown eyes assessing her intently for a moment. Kai felt the power around the man, a sense of control and of his importance. He was dressed like a rancher, not a businessman, but she spotted a gold Rolex watch on his thick wrist peeking out from beneath the white cuff of his shirtsleeve.
If she hadn’t been so focused on getting parts for the tractor, she might have taken another look. He was a good-looking man, wearing a brown Stetson on hair of similar color. She liked that he stood tall and straight. Why she was even vaguely interested in him made her snort softly to herself. She had enough problems with Gil Hanford shadowing her life at the ranch right now. Still, she felt the stranger’s gaze linger on her as she stopped at the open window.
Kai knew Talon wanted her to get replacement parts for the tractor but if she could get, for instance, a rebuilt carburetor for the tractor instead of buying a new one, that would save them money. Talon was up on equipment and that shouldn’t have surprised her. Talon went over each item she’d found that needed to be replaced. He’d given her the name of Joe Hoskins, who repaired tractors for John Deere in the town. The balding man of sixty came to the window and smiled at her.
“What can I do for you, missy?” He placed his long, gnarled, darkly tanned hands on the opened door that served as a Dutch door to the repair department.
Kai smiled and introduced herself. “Joe? Do you have any of these items that are rebuilt and not new? I’m the mechanic for the Triple H and money is tight.” She liked his dancing hazel eyes and his quirky smile. The man, when he smiled, had two front teeth missing.
Joe studied the list. “Hmm, well, I can get half of this list on rebuilt. That’s a mighty old tractor, missy.” He looked into his repair room, which was filled with long rows of equipment on each shelf.
Kai grimaced. “I know it’s old. Do you have any parts here for it?” Kai knew from studying the tractors online that they were evolving remarkably from their forebears into electronic and computerized whizzes. The engines had changed and their old model was most likely a dinosaur to Joe.
“Well,” he murmured, “I don’t think so...but lemme go look...”
Kai stood at the window, her mind running over where else she could find the parts she needed.
“Got a little problem with your tractor?” a male voice inquired from behind her.
Turning, Kai looked up. It was the cowboy who had been talking to the salesman on the floor earlier. She smiled a little. “Just got an old tractor that needs some parts,” she explained. When he smiled, his whole face changed.
“I’m Chuck Harper,” he said, offering his hand to her. “I own Ace Trucking at the west end of town.”
Kai took his hand. It was the hand of a man who worked. She felt the calluses as she slid her hand into his. “Kai Tiernan. Nice to meet you.”
Chuck released her hand and looked toward Joe. “My trucking company has a very large state-of-the-art mechanical and repair shop. I heard Joe say your tractor was pretty old. Chances are he won’t have the parts you’re looking for.” He studied her with curiosity. “Are you working for someone around here? It’s kind of odd to see a woman with an equipment list in her hand instead of a grocery list.”
She felt his interest in her as a woman, mentally rejecting it. Harper was either in his late thirties or early forties. He was deeply tanned, his face long, with crow’s-feet at the corner of both his eyes. There was alertness in them. This man didn’t miss much. “I was just hired by the Triple H. They needed a mechanic.”
“Oh, yeah,” he murmured. “That ranch is broken.”
“Well,” she said, “it’s coming back. The Holts are putting their love into it, breathing new life into it.” She saw him smile a little and she could feel his interest growing in her. Man-to-woman interest. Glancing down, she saw no wedding ring on his finger, but that meant nothing nowadays. If he owned a trucking company, chances were he was fairly well-off moneywise and was married. Probably had a couple of kids, to boot. She was not interested.
“You’re a dreamer,” he teased, his teeth even and white as he smiled down at her.
“No, I’m a realist. The people I work for are like me. We know hard work will bring the Triple H back to her feet.”
Shrugging a little, Chuck said, “In my book, that’s dreaming. But hey, I wish you all luck. Here comes Joe...”
Turning, Kai saw the older gentleman come back with her list.
“Sorry to tell you, Kai, but none of these things are carried by our company anymore.”
Feeling down, Kai said, “Well, do you know of a parts dealer around here?”
“Naw, the only thing you can do is maybe call the John Deere dealer in Idaho Falls, Idaho. It’s the nearest large city to us,” and Joe pointed northward. “It’s a three-hour drive one way.” He reached down and pulled a business card from a tray. “Here’s their number. They might have something, but that tractor of the Holts is really out-of-date.”
“I know it is,” Kai said, taking the card and tucking it into her pants pocket, “but it’s still a good, hardworking machine. It has a lot of years left in it.”
Joe gave her a slight smile. “They make Deeres to last forever.”
“You know,” Chuck said, moving closer to her, “I have a complete repair facility. Do you know how to rebuild a motor? A carburetor?”
“I do. Why?”
“Well,” Chuck said, “I’d be happy to take you over there to check out our repair shop. If you bring in what you need repaired, I have the tools, the machinery and other items you need to do it. Now, I wouldn’t charge you anything but a fair hourly rate to use my equipment. If you needed spare parts, my man, José, could probably find the things you need in our spare parts department. Why don’t you come over with me? Check it out? Might save you the loss of a day having to drive to Idaho Falls and back.”
The idea was tempting. Kai said, “Let me call Talon Holt. I need his permission. Could you give me an idea of costs?” She liked that Harper was willing to help her, but it wasn’t lost on Kai that he liked her, either. Right now, as bruised as her heart and ego were from the blowout with Gil, it was nice to be appreciated by a man. Especially someone like Harper, who appeared to be kind and thoughtful.
Chuck took a piece of paper from Joe and scribbled down the rates and handed it to her. “I’ll wait by the door,” he said. “Let me know what Holt says.”
“Thanks,” Kai murmured, pulling out her cell phone.
* * *
GIL WAS COMING down the porch steps from the main ranch house near four in the afternoon when he saw Kai drive in. She parked her truck with the rest and climbed out. He saw her wrestle with a large cardboard box that was obviously heavy. He met her halfway.
“Let me take that for you,” he said gruffly, reaching out for it.
Kai scowled. “I got it.” She glared up at him.
Gently, Gil eased his hands around it. “Let me help you, Kai.”
Her heart twisted and Kai didn’t want him touching her, so she released the box to him. Why was she still so drawn to him? Why? It frustrated the hell out of her. “They’re parts. I need to take them to the green barn.”
“Okay,” Gil said, turning and beginning the walk around the ranch house. “Were you able to get the John Deere parts you needed?”
Kai fell into step with him, keeping plenty of room between them. “No. But I met a really nice guy, Chuck Harper.” Instantly, she saw Gil’s face go hard, and his gaze snapped to hers. He halted abruptly, staring down at her.
“Harper?” he snarled.
Shaken, Kai said, “Well...yes. Why?” She saw blackness in Gil’s eyes and it bothered the hell out of her. “I called Talon Holt about this hours ago,” she began defensively, her chin jutting out. “He gave me permission to use Ace Trucking’s repair facility to make the parts I needed for the tractor. Why?”
Gil compressed his lips, staring at her. “Stay away from the bastard. You hear me?”
The snarl in his voice tore through her. Confused, she muttered, “What are you talking about? The guy was nice. He offered me his facility so I could make the parts I needed for the tractor. Talon approved the payment and I wrote him a check afterward. Why are you looking at me like that?” Her heart rate ramped up and she could feel the sudden tension gathering around Gil. He was acting as if he was about ready to go into a firefight. She’d seen and felt that same kind of energy around Sam anytime he was threatened. Why the hell was Gil threatened by Chuck Harper? Or was he angry at her? Jealous? Either way, Kai felt her stomach knot. Her hands curved against her Levi’s as she stared him down.
Cursing softly, Gil said, “Let’s get these parts to the barn. I’ll fill you in there.”
Kai almost had to run to keep up with his long, swift stride. In no time, Gil had placed the cardboard box on the table where she had her toolbox. He turned, pushing up his Stetson.
“Harper is a bastard,” he growled at her. “Did Talon know who you were dealing with?”
Struck by the ferocity of his words and the way his body had tensed, Kai muttered, “Yes, I told him. Why the hell are you acting like this, Gil? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Dammit, I’m not angry at you, Kai.” He took a swipe at his jaw, looking out the barn door as if he was trying to put the right words together. “Where did you meet Harper?”
Scowling, she told him. The look in Gil’s eyes was glittering and she could feel his sudden, almost overwhelming protectiveness cascading around her. She remembered that sense of safety and protection in his arms. He was an operator, and he protected his own. Just as Sam had once protected her. In as few words as possible, she told Gil where she’d met Harper and their subsequent conversation.
“He’s not to be trusted. I don’t care how damned nice he was to you, Kai.”
She stared at him, mouth dropping open. “What is this, Gil? I just saved this ranch a lot of money by arranging to use his facilities to fix that tractor.” She saw him scowl, his game face in place. Kai hated that unreadable expression. She had hated it on Sam, too. Black ops men were screwed up so damned badly in her opinion precisely because they sat on their emotions to do their jobs. And Gil was looking like that right now.
“Harper is a bastard in the finest sense of the word,” he gritted out.
She snorted. “I know a bastard when I see one, Gil.”
The muscles in his jaw ticked. “You’re new to this area, Kai. You don’t know the lay of the land yet. If you don’t trust my assessment of Harper, just go to Gwen Garner at the quilt shop in town. She’ll give you a fair readout on him.”
A little unnerved because she saw something in Gil’s eyes that set her on warning. Was he jealous of Harper? That couldn’t be! Searching his eyes, there was worry in them. For her? Why? Gil didn’t even like her! She was a burr under his saddle by being here. So what was his angle at getting all huffy, protective and upset that Harper had done something decent for the ranch? “When I get time,” she said, turning and walking out of the barn. Let him stew in his own juices. Kai was confused by the raw care burning in his eyes for a second in the barn. There was no way Gil cared for her. No way in hell!
As she quickly walked down the gravel slope, Kai couldn’t contain her emotions. She knew that look in Gil’s eyes. She’d seen it the night before he left her and walked away. The sense of protection had surrounded her as she lay in his arms and he had gently moved several tendrils of her damp hair away from her brow. Kai hadn’t known she could fall so hard for anyone as she did Gil. It had never happened before or after him.
One kiss!
Just that one haunting, searing kiss as his mouth took hers with desperation had turned her world upside down and her life inside out. Her knees had weakened and he’d literally swept her into his arms, holding her tightly against him, ravishing her mouth, his other hand holding the back of her head as he plundered her lips, her heart and her soul. It was as if a lifetime of need and hunger had been built into his one life-changing kiss with her. Kai got in that instant how much he had desired her over the years and, even more poignant, how much he needed her right then. The feeling that washed over her was if he didn’t kiss her right now, he’d die. It was that intense. That soul-rocking. Without thinking, Kai touched her lips with her fingertips, that branding kiss always with her. No man had ever kissed her like Gil Hanford had.
Anguish rose in Kai, tearing at her heart, turning it into bloody ribbons that made her want to gasp because the hurt, the fact that he’d left her, was still too much for her to deal with. She slowed her walk, wrapped in the misery and rejection by him. Kai thought she’d suffered when Sam died. But, in truth, what Gil had done to her was far worse. His kiss had been like a telepathic transmission to every possible level of herself. As he had taken her into his arms, capturing her against his tall, strong body, the scent of sweat and dust stinging her nostrils, she’d felt a man in such utter distress and sheer need of her alone. And her heart had opened fully to him, trusting him with herself. She had given. And he had taken.
End of story.
It hurt to breathe for a moment as Kai pushed herself to walk toward the ranch house. It was almost dinnertime. She needed to take a shower and change into some clean clothes beforehand. Unable to shake off that shield that surrounded her, Gil’s protectiveness, she made a noise in her throat, disgusted with herself. How her stupid, blind heart could react to his look of concern for her made her angry and confused.
* * *
GIL TRIED TO ignore that Kai wore a pale pink blouse and loose white trousers to dinner. Her hair had been recently washed, the gold strands gleaming among the burgundy beneath the light above the table. He heard people talking, some laughing, but none of it really registered. His heart ached so damned bad he didn’t know what to do to stop it. Maybe kiss her. Yeah, he wanted to kiss the hell out of Kai.
He covertly watched as she nibbled disinterestedly at the homemade lasagna Cass had made for them tonight. The scent of garlic and butter on the French bread complemented the meal. Her mouth was one of the most delicious parts of her body and Gil could feel his lower body stirring in memory. She had kissed him so passionately, giving her heart, her trust, to him without question. His brows drew down. Four years later he was seeing the results of how his life had screwed both of them over. Kai was more beautiful, more mature, than before. And she hated him.
From Gil’s perspective it was obvious Cat and Kai were going to become close friends. They smiled and laughed often as they chatted. Sandy was looking a bit better, he supposed, because Cass was like a harpy eagle getting her to eat protein, and the nutrition was working. Sandy’s dark hair was usually thin and hanging around her nape, but tonight it was pretty. He wondered if Cat had fixed her hair. Sandy was a beautiful woman and he secretly envied Cass because Gil knew the man was attracted to her. But Sandy seemed to be unaware. Or maybe she was ignoring Cass? Like Kai ignored him?
After dinner, the table cleared, Talon asked Gil, Kai and Cass to remain. Cat brought over fresh cups of coffee for everyone and then retired to the living room with Sandy to watch the news on television.
Talon brought over the notes Kai had made and laid them out in front of himself. He glanced across the table at her. “This is pretty remarkable, Kai. You’ve cut the repair bill in half on the tractor.”
Kai felt heat in her cheeks. “Thanks, Talon.”
Gil growled, “It might save us money, but I don’t like Kai being around the likes of Harper.”
Talon nodded. “Yeah, this isn’t the best of all worlds,” he agreed. Giving Kai a look of concern, he said, “Did Harper bother you while you were over at his place?”
“No. He introduced me to his repair boss, José, and I never saw him again.”
“I don’t like it,” Gil muttered, giving Talon a hard look.
Kai shook her head. “What is everyone talking over my head about?” She gave Talon a frustrated look.
Cass, who sat next to her, said, “Harper is a woman chaser, Kai. He’s got a seriously bad reputation in town.”
“He didn’t come on to me. He overheard me talking to Joe at the John Deere place.” Kai saw Gil give her a look of disbelief, but he kept his mouth shut, his large, callused hands clasped tightly on the table.
Talon moved his fingers through his short hair. He stared at the bill. “She’s saved us a helluva lot of money. And every penny counts.”
“Not at her expense, it doesn’t,” Gil growled in warning, looking each man in the eyes.
Kai’s skin ruffled beneath his growl. He sounded like a pissed-off grizzly. She refused to look at him, again feeling that intense sense of protection suddenly blanketing her. It almost felt as if he was staking or claiming her! Thinking she was imagining things, she said quietly, “Look, I’m twenty-nine years old. I can take care of myself. We need that machinery shop that Harper’s got. He said I could come back at any time if I wanted to rebuild something. He’d charge me a fair-market price.” She gave Talon a pleading look. “I only got two pieces of machinery fully vetted today. There’s eight more pieces of equipment out there. And I think you can tell from how much repair has to be done to bring that tractor and baler back to life we need what Harper is offering us. I think it was nice of him to do it.”
Talon frowned.
Cass moved uncomfortably around in the chair, his gaze moving to Gil.
Gil’s mouth flattened, his knuckles whitening as he looked at Talon, waiting for an answer.
Studying the list, Talon rubbed his brow as if he had a headache coming on. He studied Kai. “Okay, judging from what you saw and did today, do you think the other pieces of equipment need as much rebuilding?”
“I haven’t really done any kind of inspection to honestly answer that, Talon.” Kai opened her hands. “But just seeing these two, the amount of rust, the amount of metalwork and welding it will take to replace badly rusted areas, yes, I think it’s going to be a pretty good estimate of what’s to come.”
“And you work with metal?”
“Of course,” Kai said. “If we had to replace a fender or some metal skin that took a bullet hole in an Apache, it was up to us to fix it. I’m good at welding, Talon. I’m qualified in specialty metals. I can do all this for you. But I need a good machine shop to do it in. And Harper runs a clean place and he’s got all the latest equipment to make my job easy and fast.”
Talon glanced at Gil. “Is Harper the only game in town?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“And the next closest machine shop would be Idaho Falls, Idaho. That’s a six-hour round-trip and that doesn’t account for the time Kai would have to spend at a machine shop,” Talon said.
“I know for a fact what he charged us today is about one-third less than what a regular machine shop would charge us,” Kai pointed out.
“Cass?” Talon held up the paper toward him. “Have you seen this yet?”
“No,” he said, taking the papers and quickly parsing the numbers. His brows moved up. “Well,” he murmured, looking at Talon, “Kai is right—these numbers are lower than normal.”
“Because Harper wants something in return from you, Kai,” Gil ground out.
All heads turned toward him.
There was no mistaking Gil’s words or his barely closeted anger. Kai shook her head. “I think all of you are going overboard,” she stated flatly. “Harper did not accost me this afternoon. I worked with José. I never saw him again.” She saw Gil grit his teeth. The man was jealous as hell.
Cass sat there scribbling some numbers on the back of one of her notebook pages. “Boss? If we assume each piece of equipment is going to need this kind of do-over, then we’ll easily save one-half of what was going to be spent on those repairs. That’s a considerable sum when you look at the totals here.”
Kai couldn’t stand being near Gil anymore. He felt like a nuclear power engine that was about ready to explode. “Look, Talon, when you guys figure out what you want to do, let me know? I’m tired and I’m going to bed. Good night...”
* * *
GIL WATCHED KAI walk away, the soft sway of her hips reminding him starkly of far too much from their past. He swung his head toward Talon. “You cannot let her do this. You know Harper is into the sex-trafficking trade and drugs. There are two women he was dating and both are gone. Disappeared without a trace. Do you want to guess where they probably ended up? In some Eastern European slave trader’s hideaway to be sold to the highest bidder.”
Talon held up his hand. “Look, I’m aware of the gossip about Harper. No one’s proved anything, Gil. At least—” he sighed “—not yet.”
“What if one of us went with her?” Cass asked, giving the two men an inquiring look.
Talon’s mouth quirked. “Like any of us have time to babysit her for fear Harper will steal and sell her?”
“Look,” Cass said reasonably, opening his hands, “why not go talk to law enforcement? The sheriff’s office is in town. Talon? You could swing by—”
“I’ll do it,” Gil muttered. “No one is handling this except me.” He gave Talon a look of warning.
Shrugging, Talon said, “Fine by me. I’ll tell Kai to not go back there until you’ve talked to the sheriff’s department about Harper.”
Gil rose. “She needs to be protected from that bastard,” he growled, and left.
Cass gave Talon an amused look. “Did I miss something here? Or did your SEAL nose catch it, too?”
“What?” Talon asked.
Cass sat back in the chair, rocking it on its two hind legs, hands resting on his thick thighs. “I might be wrong about this, but I sure think there’s something simmering between Kai and Gil. Did you pick up on it?”
“No,” he muttered, rubbing his face. “I’m so damned busy trying to coordinate everything else, I’m probably missing a lot.”
Cass smiled a little. “She’s a pretty lady. I’m surprised she’s single.”
Talon shook his head. “She was married to a Delta Force operator for three years until he got killed in a firefight.”
Brows drawing down, Cass said, “Yeah, she told me earlier about it. Probably why she’s still single.”
“Well,” Talon said, standing, “I wonder if Gil knew her husband. Maybe there’s a connection there you’re picking up on.”
Cass grinned a little as he rose. “What I felt was definitely interest on Gil’s part toward her. He’s like a nighthawk around her.”
Talon shook his head. “A nighthawk is the wrangler who protects the herd during the night from all kinds of danger. Gil is protective of Kai. You have eyes in the back of your head, Cass. You always did.”
Giving him a wicked look, Cass slid the chair up to the table. “Yes, and I can count how many times we saved your sorry ass out on an op, too, because of it.”
A sour grin edged Talon’s mouth. “Can’t deny it, bro. I’m going to spend some time with my mother and then I’m hitting the sack.”
“Yeah,” Cass grumped good-naturedly. “All I have to look forward to is swimming in red and black numbers in my office for a couple of hours now.”
Talon looked over his shoulder. “Better be more black than red,” he warned him.
“Doin’ my best, boss,” Cass teased. “We’re slowly eking toward the healthy side of the business ledger. Rebuilding an empire takes time.”
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_260d05a5-cc11-53d7-a2b9-a879354192ee)
TALON HOLT SAT with Gil in his office at the main ranch house. Both were grim. Talon said, “Look, we know that Chuck Harper is being watched by the FBI and ATF for drug running. So far, no one has caught him at it.” Pushing his fingers through his dark hair, he added, “Deputy Sheriff Cade Garner is someone I trust, Gil. You haven’t been here long enough to know that, but if he suggests that someone escort Kai over to the Ace Trucking machine shop, we need to do it.”
“You won’t get any argument out of me,” Gil said, feeling relief start to trickle through him. He would talk to Garner soon. Until then, Gil had made a decision that someone would always be with Kai over at Harper’s machine shop. He had her back. “It’s going to be a balancing act. Needs at the ranch versus needs of machinery being available so we can use it. Right now, I need a horse trailer. And we don’t have one that’s safe enough to use.” He saw his boss sit back in his chair, nodding. “You need to tell me what repair should be first.”
“On another issue, we need to buy a horse for Kai,” Talon said. “Slade McPherson, Griff’s twin brother, owns an endurance-racing horse ranch on the other side of Jackson Hole. Cass has allotted us fifteen hundred dollars for the animal. Can you take Kai over after setting an appointment up with Slade? Let her see what’s available and then you need to get him to agree to our money limit.”
Gil had never met Slade McPherson, but he knew his twin, Griff, who he respected and admired. The man had an MBA, along with horse sense and hard work combined. He was bringing the Bar H back to life. “I’ll see what I can do.” He knew the worth of the horses he had bred and trained.
“Then,” Talon said, talking more to himself as he looked up at the copper ceiling that had been imprinted with hundred-year-old patterns from the past, “get Kai to look over all the equipment. Have her make up a complete repair list. Tell her the double-wide horse trailer has to supersede the tractor for now. If push comes to shove, we can always ask Slade to deliver the horse here and he will. But we need that trailer as bad as we need the tractor.”
“And who do you want to go with her to Ace Trucking?” Gil wanted it to be him. He saw his boss’s expression pinch.
“Whoever is available at the time. Hell, it will be Cass, you or me. Any way you cut it, she’s got a black ops guy at her side. I don’t think Harper will try anything.”
“You want us to pack a weapon?”
Talon nodded. “We all have a license to carry a concealed weapon. I don’t trust Harper. At all. But I sure as hell like the prices he’s giving Kai. If we don’t use his services, that means we’re wasting a day driving to and from, plus, if Kai can’t finish everything off at another machine shop in Idaho Falls, we have to pay for her food and hotel bill. And we’re paying one-third more in costs. It mounts up in a hurry.”
Gil understood Talon’s position. He knew from his own father always battling the accounting ledger that keeping a ranch in the black was the toughest thing to do in the world. And right now, the Triple H was in the red. Cass had a good, solid plan for the ranch, but it was slow going. Rome wasn’t built in a day, he reminded himself. So Talon was going to be damned conservative, and Gil didn’t blame his boss for wanting to use a nearby facility and save money while he was at it. He just didn’t want to put Kai at risk. But neither did Talon. Gil could see he was morally wrestling with the situation. In one way he knew he was putting Kai in a potentially dangerous situation. On the other hand, all three of them were well-trained operators and would be packing a weapon in case shit happened.
“Do you think Harper would try anything while she was in his facility?” Gil wondered.
“No, I don’t. And that’s the only reason I’m willing to even consider this idea. Harper is known to be very low-key. He doesn’t want trouble. There’s been enough of it of late and Cade thinks that he knows the FBI is following him. He employs only Latino workers. Cade thinks most of them are illegals. But the other agencies that usually swoop down and find them are pulling back. The FBI is trying to insert someone into the trucking company, but they know Harper is watching closely.”
“Sounds like a standoff of sort,” Gil agreed.
“If you can ask Kai to focus on that horse trailer and tell her why, I’d appreciate it.”
Gil rose. “I will.”
* * *
THE LATE-MORNING sun felt good coming into the back of the green barn where Kai was working. She was dusty from taking a broom and putting a bandanna around the lower half her face to start sweeping off the thick dust on every piece of machinery. There were clouds of dust hanging in the air, sparkling as it hit the shafts of sunlight piercing through the barn.
She lifted her head and saw Gil coming up the gravel slope. For a moment her heart pounded. The fear of having to confront him and then fight back her desire for him always left her exhausted afterward. His face was set and shadowed, the sun at his back. He was so damned good-looking to her. He always had been.
Going to meet him at the front of the barn where there was less dust in the air, she pulled the handkerchief off her face, broom in one hand. Kai longed for some kind of truce between them. But how could there be? Gil had not told her why he’d left her. Not said one peep. He had apologized, she reminded herself, when they’d had it out in the barn the day after her hiring. And he’d looked so damned sad, as if he were going to cry or something, but he always tried to hide it from her. She’d been brimming over with anger, and having gotten it off her chest now Kai wanted a truce, maybe.
“How’s it going?” Gil asked as he drew up to her, keeping a good six feet between them.
Wrinkling her nose, Kai said, “I couldn’t stand how dirty everything was.” She internally tensed, unsure why Gil was here. There was no reason that she could think of. And she didn’t want another argument with him. Searching his blue eyes, she saw worry in them, not anger or defensiveness.
“If we had more hands, I could get someone in here to do it for you. Like it should be.”
Her stomach began to unknot. For the first time, this was the Gil Hanford she knew from her past. He’d put his hands on his hips, shifting his weight to one leg more than the other. His face was relaxed looking, too. Some more of her sagged in quiet relief. “It’s okay. I’m good at cleaning up situations.” She managed a sliver of a smile.
“You are very good at everything you do.”
Praise riffled across her. She almost asked Gil if he’d gotten a decent night’s sleep, remembering the tense discussion at the dinner table last night. “Thanks, it’s nice to hear it.”
“Talon’s happy with you, and that’s all that counts.”
Gil wasn’t happy she was here, but she bit back the words. To say that would be to stir the tension that flowed between them. “What do you need?”
“Talon wants to get you a horse. Slade McPherson has some for sale on the other side of town at his ranch. I was wondering if you were at a place where you could stop for a couple of hours?”
A horse! Her heart sang. Kai felt giddy. “Sure. That would be a lot of fun to go look at horses.” She saw a slight curve of one corner of Gil’s mouth, his blue eyes lighter. Was he happy? It felt like it. Far better than being at odds with him.
“Let me go get cleaned up? I look like a dust bunny.”
Gil gave her a slow inspection from head to toe. “Yeah, a little. Go ahead. I’ll meet you out front in the company truck in twenty minutes?.”
Heat soared through Kai and she felt her breasts tighten beneath his heated gaze. That look wasn’t impersonal. Her mouth went dry. God, was it possible he wanted her? Man to woman? The realization was like a bolt striking her and Kai inwardly floundered. Her heart was doing a happy dance. Her memory sourly reminded her of the hurt he’d caused her. “Sure,” she murmured, setting the broom inside the barn. “Twenty minutes.”
* * *
KAI WAS UNEASY riding with Gil so close to her in the cab of the truck. They had a good twenty miles together. She sat with her hands in her lap, tense. Gil seemed relaxed in comparison. The scenery was rich and green, the valley blooming to life after eight months of hard, cold winter. She enjoyed the patchwork quilt of small farms on the left. To her right rose a rocky hill and cliff.
“Does Slade have quarter horses?” she wondered, wanting to break the silence.
“No. He’s got endurance horses. Talon was telling me Slade has a sunbonnet paint mustang stallion called Thor. His stud has won every endurance event in North America. Jordana McPherson rode Thor to victory two years ago. Slade got gored in the thigh by one of his ornery bulls and couldn’t ride him in the event, so she did and won.”
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Lindsay McKenna
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Once upon a ranch in Wyoming…After losing his comrade, Sergeant Gil Hanford thought a visit to the man’s widow would be the decent way to honor his late friend. But Gil found more than comfort in Kai Tiernan—he had always secretly desired beautiful Kai, but a sudden, mutual passion helped assuage their grief…until duty reared its head, removing him from her arms, seemingly forever.Four years later, Kai is starting over at the Triple H Ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Born a rancher, she is looking for a new beginning—but her new boss is unforgivably familiar. Kai has tried to move past the memory of what happened between her and Gil, even though she′s never forgiven him for leaving her. But even as they begin their journey toward something new and oh-so-uncertain, a shadow emerges, determined to claim Kai for itself.