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An Amish Christmas Journey
Patricia Davids
Their Holiday AdventureToby Yoder promised to care for his orphaned little sister the rest of her life. After all, the tragedy that took their parents and left her injured was his fault. Now he must make a three-hundred-mile trip from the hospital to the Amish community where they'll settle down. But as they share a hired van with pretty Greta Barkman, an Amish woman with a similar harrowing past, Toby can't bear for the trip to end. Suddenly, there's joy, a rescued cat named Christmas and hope for their journey to continue together forever.Brides of Amish Country: Finding true love in the land of the Plain PeopleToby Yoder promised to care for his orphaned little sister the rest of her life. After all, the tragedy that took their parents and left her injured was his fault. Now he must make a three-hundred-mile trip from the hospital to the Amish community where they'll settle down. But as they share a hired van with pretty Greta Barkman, an Amish woman with a similar harrowing past, Toby can't bear for the trip to end. Suddenly, there's joy, a rescued cat named Christmas and hope for their journey to continue together forever.Brides of Amish Country: Finding true love in the land of the Plain People


Their Holiday Adventure
Toby Yoder promised to care for his orphaned little sister the rest of her life. After all, the tragedy that took their parents and left her injured was his fault. Now he must make a three-hundred-mile trip from the hospital to the Amish community where they’ll settle down. But as they share a hired van with pretty Greta Barkman, an Amish woman with a similar harrowing past, Toby can’t bear for the trip to end. Suddenly, there’s joy, a rescued cat named Christmas and hope for their journey to continue together forever.
Brides of Amish Country: Finding true love in the land of the Plain People
“Do you do that often?” Greta asked.
He opened his eyes and frowned. “Do I do what?”
“Refuse help when you need it?”
He gave her a wry smile. “Am I guilty of being prideful? I have been, but I’m learning that I can’t do everything.”
Greta gathered her things. “Then stretch out on this bench and take a nap. I will keep an eye on your sister and wake you if she needs anything.”
He nodded his consent. Greta moved up to one of the single seats where she could keep an eye on Marianne and on Toby. He folded his long legs on the seat and pillowed his head on his coat. It wasn’t long before his breathing became deep and even and she knew he was asleep.
She had never watched a man sleeping before. At least no one younger than the elders who sometimes nodded off during the long church services.
At leisure to study him, Greta assessed his features one by one, trying to decide why she was so attracted to him.
The lines of strain around Toby’s eyes touched a chord within her. She wanted to see them soothed away.
PATRICIA DAVIDS
After thirty-five years as a nurse, Pat hung up her stethoscope to become a full-time writer. She enjoys spending her new free time visiting her grandchildren, doing some long-overdue yard work and traveling to research her story locations. She resides in Wichita, Kansas. Pat always enjoys hearing from her readers. You can visit her online at www.patriciadavids.com (http://www.patriciadavids.com).
An Amish Christmas Journey
Patricia Davids


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities,
O Lord, who shall stand?
But there is forgiveness with thee,
that thou mayest be feared.
I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait,
and in his word do I hope.
—Psalms 130:3–5
This book is dedicated to women and men
everywhere who seek to mend fences and to
right wrongs within their families.
Blessed are the peacemakers:
for they shall be called the children of God.
—Matthew 5:9
Contents
Cover (#u06b97526-4811-5963-abfe-64bb09af2e1f)
Back Cover Text (#u1d78279b-7e24-5bc3-9f38-d0eb01242dc5)
Introduction (#u4fe6764e-06b6-5b38-8499-95b3abc23b59)
About the Author (#ud184f8db-2eac-55b2-9c1c-ea60d1758ce6)
Title Page (#u1d027896-10c6-5ff8-aaf3-f22f66c38606)
Bible Verse (#u162579fe-8dec-5132-9891-b8b50677d4b4)
Dedication (#u9d02489c-b990-51ff-b041-a4941768e05d)
Chapter One (#ulink_95719fd5-bb7e-52ad-aef7-81ec2360b430)
Chapter Two (#ulink_89aca406-c489-5e3c-afd3-3807fecc5435)
Chapter Three (#ulink_91728f5d-cb03-5cd0-bc13-7e92057c4ac3)
Chapter Four (#ulink_3215c5db-7a40-5dd4-b4a5-084a5de6e3b9)
Chapter Five (#ulink_dc0c3c6e-4801-5516-bb4b-2e8d0d76e2c5)
Chapter Six (#ulink_891b0dec-ad67-5690-a342-6a7dc7a67b1b)
Chapter Seven (#ulink_a7911b6f-f787-5676-aad3-5deb717f8515)
Chapter Eight (#ulink_5089cde3-61d6-52d0-bcda-875b6de34c55)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Questions for Discussion (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_3c1a9262-3ad6-56fe-853a-4937030b74a0)
“I suppose we must do it.” Greta Barkman almost choked on her words.
It was the right thing to say. The only decision her Amish faith would let her make, but she’d rather walk through the snow barefoot...all winter...than spend one hour with her uncle Morris. Bringing him home to stay with them for a few months would be unbearable. Surely God would not ask this of her and her sisters after all they had endured.
Betsy, the youngest at eighteen, slapped the letter facedown on the table. “It’s not as if Onkel Morris can expect us to drop everything and rush to his side. We escaped his cruelness by the grace of God. Besides, it’s almost Christmas. It will be our first happy Christmas together. I don’t want him to spoil it.”
He will spoil it. I know that as surely as I know it’s cold outside.
Greta glanced at the kitchen window. The late-afternoon sun shone brightly beyond the frost-covered glass, but it added little warmth to the December day. The dusting of snow that had arrived in the night blew around, sparkling like glitter in the breeze. She shivered and looked back at the people seated around her grandfather’s table. Her three sisters, her grandfather and his new wife, and two of her sisters’ husbands were gathered for this family meeting.
Clara, the oldest sister, picked up the letter. “I agree with Greta. We have to do this. His bishop would not write asking us to take Morris in if our uncle’s condition were not serious.” She glanced at her husband seated beside her. “I will go, if you agree, Ethan.”
He covered her hand with his own. “I won’t pretend that I like the idea, but you must do what you think best. The children and I will manage without you for a few days.”
“I can go.” Lizzie, the second sister, looked as though she would rather eat dirt.
Carl, Lizzie’s husband, laid his hand on her arm. “I won’t agree to it. You have to think of the babe. Such a long car ride will not be good for you.”
Naomi, their grandfather’s wife, reached over to clasp Lizzie’s hand. “You know the midwife cautioned against traveling with the problems you’ve had.”
Lizzie nodded in resignation, but Greta detected a hint of relief in her eyes. Who could blame her?
Greta retrieved the letter and scanned it again. Their uncle lived near Fort Wayne, Indiana. She explained the contents for those that hadn’t read it. “His bishop writes that the congregation is willing to arrange for a van and driver to take Morris from the hospital to our home. His doctors wouldn’t allow him to travel by bus. A car or van is acceptable as long as the driver makes frequent stops. Morris must take brief walks every hour or two to prevent circulation problems with his legs.”
And he must have someone travel with him. The five-hour car trip from Fort Wayne to Hope Springs would need to be broken into at least two days of travel. It would make a very long trip, breaks or no breaks.
Although the bishop hinted at some dissention among his flock over the matter, the fact that none of them were willing to take Morris in spoke of a serious rift in the church group. The Amish took care of their own within the community. Families were expected to look after aging or ailing members and normally did so gladly. His nieces were all the family Morris Barkman had left.
Lizzie crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t believe old man Rufus turned Morris out of the house and hired a new fellow to work the dairy farm. I thought our onkel and his landlord were friends.”
“I can believe it,” Clara said with a shiver. “Rufus Kuhns is an evil man. He’s worse than our uncle.”
Greta nodded in agreement. Rufus had tried to coerce Clara into marrying him by threatening all of them with eviction and physical violence. “Morris is out of a job and has nowhere to live. He is dependent on us, the very women he mistreated for years. It must be a bitter pill for him.”
It was for her. For all of them.
Naomi sighed heavily. “Greta, you are the only logical choice to go and fetch him here.”
She looked up startled. “Me? Why me?”
Naomi’s gaze softened with sympathy. “Lizzie can’t go. Betsy has a job and shouldn’t miss work, besides she is too young to travel so far alone. Clara is a newlywed. She has a new husband and three stepchildren to think about. It would be cruel to part her from the children so soon. I’m not related to Morris. He might find it uncomfortable traveling with me.”
“I don’t care if he is comfortable or not!” Greta couldn’t do it. She couldn’t spend two days shut in a car with him.
“I don’t know how I would manage without you for even a day, Naomi.” Joseph reached to take his new wife’s hand.
Greta saw the warm look he exchanged with Naomi. It seemed everyone in her family had found someone to love. Everyone but her. Betsy was being courted by a local Amish fellow that everyone liked. Lizzie had married Carl last fall, and they were expecting their first child. Clara had wed Ethan Gingerich only a few weeks ago.
Greta had refused the few men who had asked her out. Marriage wasn’t in her future, certainly not marriage to an Amish man. She wanted to become a counselor and help abused women. To do that would require more education than the eight years the Amish allowed. Leaving the community she loved was a difficult decision—one she wasn’t sure she was ready to make. She had only discussed it with Clara. No one else knew what she was thinking of doing.
Greta didn’t begrudge any of her sisters their happiness. They deserved it and more. How many times had her actions and her words brought their uncle’s wrath down on them? Far more that she cared to count. If only she had been stronger. If only she had stood up to him. If only she had told someone about the abuse, but she hadn’t. They had all lived inside a circle of fear and shame until Lizzie found the courage to break out. It was because of Lizzie that they found a refuge of love and caring in their grandfather’s home. God had rewarded Lizzie’s selfless bravery.
Greta didn’t possess such courage. The thought of spending time with Morris made her cringe. She couldn’t do it. Panic hit her full in the face. She crumpled the letter and jumped to her feet. “Someone else will have to go.”
She ran out of the room and up the stairs with her heart hammering wildly in her chest. She was staring out her bedroom window struggling to regain her composure when Naomi came in. Without turning around, Greta said, “I can’t do it.”
Naomi slipped an arm across Greta’s shoulders. “Betsy has said she will go.”
Greta flinched. Her little sister was no match for Morris. “Betsy is too young. He’s too mean. You don’t know how he is. He can make her feel worthless with nothing but words. He doesn’t even need his stick to beat her down.”
“I’m not saying it will be easy for her, but she’s willing to do it to spare you.”
Greta bit the corner of her lip. “I’m afraid, Naomi.”
“Of what, child?”
“That I’ll turn back into the groveling, miserable person I was when I lived with him. He called me Mouse because I was always scurrying out of his path. I existed—I didn’t live. I was dead inside.”
She still was. In spite of all she had read about surviving abuse, she knew Morris still had a hold over her. “I don’t have Lizzie’s courage.”
Naomi enfolded her in a fierce hug. “Courage is fear that has said its prayers. God will give you all you need if you depend on Him.”
Drawing strength from the woman she had come to love and admire, Greta nodded. Now it was her turn to be brave. To prove to herself and to him that she wasn’t worthless. “All right, I will go.”
Naomi pulled away to look into Greta’s eyes. “Are you sure?”
She would be coolly polite. She would ignore her uncle’s hurtful ways, and she would never, ever let him make her feel like an inadequate person again. “Ja.”
They returned to the kitchen, and both women took a seat at the table. Naomi said, “It’s settled. Greta will go.”
Afraid her sisters would read the fear in her eyes Greta kept her gaze on her hands clasped together on the table. “I’ll take the bus there and accompany him in the van on his journey. I’ll write to Morris and his bishop and tell them to expect me in four days. That should give them enough time to arrange everything.”
“Gott willing, you will be home two days later,” Naomi added.
Greta let out a deep sigh and looked around the table. “I really don’t want to bring him into this house.”
The sisters exchanged glances. Clara said, “We feel the same, but perhaps this is a test of our compassion. It is the Christmas season, after all. How can we abandon Onkel Morris, ill and alone, knowing that God sent His only Son into this world to teach us to care for one another, even those who hate us?”
“The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do,” Betsy added in resignation.
“Perhaps his illness has shown Morris the error of his ways, and he is ready to mend our family fences,” Lizzie suggested in a falsely bright tone.
Greta wouldn’t count on it. Of all the ways she had imagined spending her first Christmas at her new home, none of them included sharing it with mean old Morris.
“Joseph, you have very wise granddaughters,” Naomi said with a tender smile.
He nodded. “That may be true, but I’m with Greta. I’ll take him in, but I don’t want the man here, either. Morris will find a way to ruin our Christmas. You mark my words.”
Chapter Two (#ulink_e410c770-e08d-5019-8838-04fad28be2de)
They were going home at last.
Toby Yoder knelt in front of his ten-year-old sister’s wheelchair inside the huge lobby of the Fort Wayne Medical Center. The soaring two-story tall glass windows let the light pour in around her. It reflected off the gleaming marble floors and the chrome legs of the chairs and tables near them. Swags of greenery and red bows adorned the front of the large curved cherrywood reception desk while a massive white Christmas tree with blue ornaments and a gleaming silver star dominated the center of the lobby. Every table had a potted poinsettia or an arrangement of cinnamon-scented pinecones in the center.
Signs of the holy season were everywhere, but they couldn’t lighten his heart.
Marianne wouldn’t look at the sunshine, or the Christmas decorations—or at him. She sat slumped into the corner of the chair as if hiding from the world in a donated black coat that was too big for her. She looked worn to the bone already and she had been up less than half an hour. She was still so weak. His funny, fun-loving and energetic little sister was a shell of her former self and it was his fault.
If it took the rest of his life, he would make it up to her.
He forced a smile for her benefit. “We don’t have to leave town today, Marianne. My old roommates won’t mind if you want to stay at their apartment. It’s not far from here. You can rest up for a few days before we travel to Pennsylvania. I’ll make arrangements for another driver to take us then.”
She shook her head slightly. “Nee. Take me home now,” she whispered.
She hadn’t spoken more than a few whispered words to him since the fire that took the lives of their parents and put her in the hospital. In spite of that, she managed to make it clear she wanted to go back to Pennsylvania. She didn’t want to stay in Indiana.
A non-Amish family walked in through the hospital doors. Several of the children stared openly at Toby and Marianne. Dressed in traditional Amish clothing and wearing a black flat-topped felt hat, Toby knew he stood out from ordinary visitors to the hospital. Although there were large Amish settlements in the area, Amish folks rarely ventured into the heart of the city.
Marianne pulled her oversize black bonnet forward to cover the still raw-looking burns on the left side of her face and neck. She hated people staring at her. A stab of pity took the smile from Toby’s face. He would give anything to undo the decisions that had led to her pain, but that wasn’t possible. God should have put him in her place that night. She should have been the one left unscathed.
The elevator door across the lobby opened and a nurse came out pushing another wheelchair. In it sat an Amish elder wearing a heavy frown. His pale face was almost as gray as his long beard. A young man in scrubs followed them, pushing a cart laden with several suitcases. He left the cart parked near the door and joined the nurse. “Take care of yourself, Mr. Barkman. Merry Christmas.” With a nod, a wink and a thumbs-up to the nurse, he went back to the elevators.
“I don’t see why you’re kicking me out in the cold. What kind of hospital is this?” Mr. Barkman grumbled.
“We aren’t kicking you out, Mr. Barkman. Your driver is on his way. He has picked up your niece at the bus station, and they’ll be here soon. You’re going home with her.”
“That’s no comfort to me. My nieces are the cause of this, you know. Their disgraceful behavior shamed me and put all the work of the farm on my shoulders. It was too much for a man my age. You think I’ll be better off living with them? Ha! You might as well call the undertaker and be done with it.”
“That’s no way to talk. Remember what your doctor told you. A positive attitude will help more than any medication.” She parked his chair by a sofa in the waiting area.
“That doctor would sing a different tune if he’d had a heart attack and heart surgery. Where are my pain pills?”
“You will need to pick them up at the pharmacy. I have all the instructions on what you need to take and when. I will go over it with you and your niece. You have your nitroglycerin, don’t you?”
He nodded and patted his vest pocket. “Pills, pills and more pills. What good have they done me? I’m still a sick man.”
She said, “I see a van coming up the drive. I think they’re here.”
The relief in the nurse’s voice brought back Toby’s grin. He leaned close to his sister. “You are a much better patient.” He hoped for a smile, but he was disappointed. She kept her head lowered.
A long white van pulled to a stop outside the doors. The driver, a portly man in his midforties with curly salt-and-pepper hair hopped out and came around to open the sliding door on the passenger’s side. A young Amish woman got out.
“Is that your niece, Mr. Barkman?” the nurse asked.
“That’s Greta. The ungrateful hussy. I’m amazed she has the courage to show her face to me.”
The nurse rolled her eyes and muttered, “So am I.”
Toby happened to catch her glance. She smothered a sheepish grin. It was clear she thought Mr. Barkman’s niece would have her hands full.
The outside door opened. The van driver and the woman came inside along with a gust of cold wind. Mr. Barkman’s niece stopped a few feet away from her uncle. The driver came straight to Toby.
“Are you Tobias Yoder?” he asked in a booming voice.
Toby rose and held out his hand. “You must be Arles Hooper. Thank you for agreeing to take us to Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania. I know it’s a very long drive. This is Marianne.”
“Pleased to meet you both. I’ve got several more Amish folks riding with us. It’s fortunate for me that so many Amish like to travel this time of year. I’ve got a full load. I had to make the trip worth my while, you know, with the price of gas and oil. Course you folks don’t have to worry about that, what with driving buggies. We won’t make it to Bird-in-Hand tonight, but I’ll get you there as soon as I can. There’s talk of a big winter storm moving this way. I’m hoping to beat it, but I know a few nice, inexpensive motels where we can hunker down if need be.”
“That’s fine.” Toby nodded, but he didn’t have the funds for an extended stay at a motel. What little extra he had would be needed when he got to Pennsylvania.
“Good. I have a family named Coblentz with me. There are eight of them, but they are only going as far as Ohio City. I know that’s a little bit out of your way, but not much, less than an hour. I’ll be taking Mr. Barkman and his niece all the way to Hope Springs, Ohio. From there, it will just be you two. I hope you don’t mind the additional passengers.”
“We’ll be glad of the extra company on the trip, won’t we, Marianne?” He spoke to his sister, but his gaze was drawn to Mr. Barkman’s niece.
Ungrateful Greta didn’t look like a hussy. She wasn’t strikingly pretty, but she was pleasant looking. Demurely dressed in a dark blue overcoat and a large black bonnet, she was slightly taller than average. She carried a blue cloth bag over one arm. What little he could see of her hair was a light honey brown. He couldn’t be sure from here, but he thought her eyes were light brown, as well.
She stood with her head held high. There was something almost defiant in her stance. Something else he’d noticed...there hadn’t been any display of affection or even a greeting between her and her uncle.
Arles left Toby’s side and approached Mr. Barkman. “Good to have you with us, sir. I’ll do my best to make it an easy journey. Shall I put your things in the van?”
“Greta can do it. She’s good with simple tasks,” Mr. Barkman snapped.
Toby caught a glimpse of the covert glance she shot her uncle. Her eyes filled with dislike before she looked down and schooled her features into blankness. Toby’s interest sharpened. The tension between the uncle and niece was palpable. It might prove to be an uncomfortable trip with these two in the van.
The nurse said, “Please take the bags out, Mr. Hooper. I need to speak with Miss Barkman about her uncle’s care.”
Toby continued to study the young Amish woman who looked to be in her early twenties. Her knuckles stood out white against her dark clothing where her hands were clenched tightly into fists. She seemed taut as a bowstring.
She glanced his way, and her eyes softened when she caught sight of his sister. A gentle smile curved her lips and changed her features from pleasant looking to sweetly appealing. He found himself smiling in turn. She looked up from his sister and met his gaze.
Appealing was right. Instantly, he felt a strange connection. Her eyes widened. He was right. They were a light, lively golden brown. He couldn’t seem to break the contact. Who was Greta Barkman? What was she thinking? He wanted to know.
She looked away first, and his unexpected connection with her was broken. The nurse had called her Miss Barkman, so she wasn’t married.
He gave a small shake of his head. Interest in a pretty woman should be the last thing on his mind. He needed to get Marianne home to Pennsylvania, find a job and look after her. She was his priority now. He planned to spend the rest of his life taking care of her. He owed her that much and more.
He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. She flinched, then grabbed his hand. “You won’t leave me, will you?”
The treatment for her burns had been painful, leaving her leery of physical contact, but she didn’t want him out of her sight. He knelt in front of her. “Of course not. We’re going home to Pennsylvania together.”
“I don’t want these other people around.”
“I know, honey, but it can’t be helped. Don’t worry. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
* * *
Greta caught the interplay between the young girl in the wheelchair and the handsome man with her. It was comforting to see such a close relationship. Her own troubled history gave her a heightened sense of awareness about others, particularly young women. The man was a nice-looking Amish fellow with dark hair, intelligent dark eyes and a winning smile. There was something compelling in his gaze that intrigued her.
“There are some things we need to go over, Miss Barkman. It should only take a few minutes,” the nurse said, drawing Greta’s attention once more.
“Of course.” She managed a stiff smile.
“Please ask if you have any questions. I’ve included my cell phone number at the top of the paperwork. When I spoke with Mr. Hooper about this trip, he assured me you would be able to use his phone if you need to. Mr. Hooper understands that he’ll have to make frequent stops for Mr. Barkman’s well-being.”
“A lot of good that will do. What if I need to lie down?” Morris asked.
“I’ll do everything in my power to make you comfortable, Onkel,” Greta assured him.
“You and your sisters have brought me nothing but shame and hardship. Traveling with you will not bring me comfort.”
Greta pressed her lips together to hold back her comment. She had come prepared to treat her uncle with civility, but his attitude was making it difficult. He hadn’t changed at all. If anything, he was openly hostile now. Before, he had taken pains to keep his cruelty hidden.
The nurse pushed Morris toward a nearby door. “We will have more privacy inside our Quiet Room. I’m Mrs. Collins, the discharge nurse for our Cardiac Care Unit.”
Greta rushed to hold open the door for them. The nurse said, “Why don’t you have a seat, Miss Barkman. I need to review Mr. Barkman’s going-home instructions with you both.”
She pulled a clipboard from a pocket on the back of the wheelchair and stepped around to face Morris. She held out the clipboard and a pen. “I need your permission to share your medical information with your niece. Would you sign on the bottom, please?”
“I don’t see why she needs to know anything.”
“Your medications are complex and should you develop any problems, your niece must know what to do. A patient can’t very well take nitroglycerin if they are unconscious. This is hypothetical, of course, but you do see my point, don’t you?”
Morris pulled the document toward him and scribbled his name across the bottom. “Tell her anything you like, but I don’t have to stay and listen to it.”
“Very well. You may wait outside until Mr. Hooper can take you to the van.”
Mrs. Collins wheeled Morris out and after a few minutes, the woman returned alone. She smiled as she sat down across from Greta. “I’m sorry. Your uncle has not been the most cooperative patient.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. Please tell me what I need to know.”
The nurse’s face softened. “Your uncle sustained a massive heart attack. The doctors here did a triple bypass surgery, but even with restored blood flow, some of his heart muscle has been severely damaged.”
“I’m surprised he agreed to the surgery. It is not our way.”
“We were surprised, as well, but I’m afraid in spite of the surgery his prognosis is not good.”
Greta frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“He continues to have episodes of chest pain, what we call unstable angina. He has medicine that he needs to take as soon as these episodes begin. The pain is caused by a lack of blood flow to his already weakened heart. Your uncle’s heart was so damaged that he is not a candidate for another procedure. The best we can offer is palliative care.”
“What does this mean, palliative?” Greta thought she understood the sympathy in the woman’s words but she needed to be sure.
“It means we want to make your uncle’s last months as comfortable as possible. He is not going to get better.”
“Morris is dying?” Greta felt the air rush out of her lungs.
Chapter Three (#ulink_b6f6ab39-6236-584d-88ab-ede7832b1f77)
The man who made her life miserable for years would die soon.
Greta took a deep, unsteady breath and looked at the nurse. “Does my uncle know he won’t get better?”
Mrs. Collins nodded. “He is aware of his prognosis, but I don’t believe that he has accepted it. I’m sorry to give you such bad news. He tells us he has no close family or friends. Frankly, we were all very surprised by that. The Amish people we have treated in the past have been surrounded by caring family and church members.”
Greta waited to feel something, anything, but all she felt was numb. Over the years, after some of her worst beatings at his hands, she had prayed that God would call him to judgment. God hadn’t answered her then. Why now?
Her common sense reasserted itself. Her uncle’s illness was part of God’s larger plan. It had nothing to do with the wishes of the scared and angry girl she had once been.
The scared, angry woman she still was.
How many times had she offered her forgiveness up to God? And how many times had her anger raised its ugly head the way it was doing now? She didn’t want to hate him. She only wanted to be free of him. And soon she would be.
This news changed so much. She wasn’t sure what to say to him or how to act. It suddenly struck her that this could be his last Christmas.
Greta gripped her bag tightly. “How long do you think he has?”
“Our best guess is a few months. With good care, it could be longer. We can’t say for sure.”
“Of course. Only God knows when our time here is done. Is he...is he suffering?”
“Angina attacks can be painful and very frightening, but on the whole he isn’t in pain. He does tire easily so make sure he gets enough rest.”
“I will.” Greta looked at the floor. Could she take care of him? Why was God placing the burden on her?
The nurse handed Greta several pamphlets and a typewritten list. “These are some important points for you to know. They cover diet suggestions, exercise, pain management, things that can make his quality of life better. I also have some information on end-of-life issues. You may want to look over this and discuss it with your family members and perhaps your minister. And with Mr. Barkman when he is ready.”
Greta took the pamphlets and tucked them into her bag. “You mentioned something about medicines?”
“Yes. These are his prescriptions. I will give your driver directions to a pharmacy near here. Your uncle has a vial of small white pills with him called nitroglycerin. He is to put one under his tongue at the first sign of chest pain. I have written out what you need to do if that doesn’t help. I know this is a lot for you to take in. Are you sure you are okay with this?”
“I believe I understand everything you have said. What about his bill?”
“That’s been covered in full.”
By his church no doubt. At least his congregation had done that for him even if they wouldn’t take him in. It was strange that her uncle’s bishop hadn’t mentioned the fact in his letter.
Mrs. Collins handed over a business card. “This is my personal number. Call me anytime you have questions. Day or night, it doesn’t matter. I only wish we could have done more for your uncle.”
“He is in God’s hands. It is as the Lord wills.”
“Yes. We are all in God’s hands. We all struggle to do the best we can in an imperfect world. I pray God gives both you and your uncle the comfort you need.”
She rose to her feet and left Greta alone.
* * *
Toby spoke to the driver who was pushing the empty cart inside after having loaded Mr. Barkman’s things. “Arles, is it all right if we get settled in the van?”
“Sure. Do you need a hand?”
“Nee, I can manage.”
Mr. Barkman was slowly wheeling himself toward the door. There was no sign of his niece yet.
Arles caught sight of him. “Just a minute, sir, and I’ll help you.”
Mr. Barkman grunted but didn’t answer.
Toby pulled on his coat. From a nearby chair, he picked up the duffel bag that contained all his and his sister’s worldly belongings. The fire hadn’t left them much. Neighbors and his coworkers had contributed clothing and essentials. He had enough money to pay their way and get by on this trip, but not much else. He figured they could wait until they were back in Pennsylvania and he was working again to purchase anything else they might need. When he could find work.
His mother’s sister and her husband were taking them in. With eleven children of her own, his aunt assured him that two more would hardly be noticed. He was grateful for her kindness. She believed living with a big and lively family would help Marianne recover. He prayed she was right.
He pushed his sister’s wheelchair out the sliding glass doors and up to the van. He held out his hand to steady her as she gingerly stood. She wavered slightly but managed to step into the van. He worried that she was still so weak. She should have been gaining strength, but she wasn’t. It was as if she didn’t want to get better.
Inside the van were three rows of double seats along the left side and a row of three single seats along the right side upholstered in brown and cream vinyl. A narrow aisle led to a full bench seat at the rear. There was a luggage compartment behind that.
The passenger’s seat by the driver, the first two rows and all the single seats were taken by the Coblentz family, a tall, thin father, a plump mother with four stair-step blond boys and an older woman with a toddler beside her. Toby nodded to the occupants as he followed Marianne. She bypassed the last empty row and went straight to the bench in the back. Toby propped his duffel bag in the corner and sat down beside her. She lay down on the bench.
He took off his coat and folded it into a pillow for her. “Here. Use this.”
She took it from him without a word.
Leaning back, he closed his eyes as exhaustion took over. He was eager to get to Bird-in-Hand where his aunt had a real bed waiting for him. He’d spent most of the past two months sleeping in a chair or on the couch in the burn-unit waiting room and then on a cot in his sister’s room. He hadn’t left her side for more than an hour since she had been transferred out of the ICU. She quickly became panicked when he was out of sight.
After a little while, the outside door of the van opened again. Toby watched as Mr. Barkman was helped in by the driver. He sat down and sighed heavily as he put his cane on the seat beside him. A few minutes later, Greta got in. She stopped beside her uncle, waiting for him to move his cane so she could sit down.
He glared at her. “I may have to travel in the same van but I refuse to sit beside this sinner. She and her sisters have been shunned by our church. She is under the Bann.”
Everyone in the van turned to look at her in shock. Then, one by one, the adults turned away from her, their backs rigid with disapproval. Toby wondered what she had done to earn such condemnation from her congregation.
She looked around. No one else made room for her. She had no choice but to move to the back where he sat.
She kept her gaze lowered, but her cheeks were blazing red with embarrassment. “Sir, may I sit here?”
Chapter Four (#ulink_86cae7d3-2dd7-5eea-add6-b6cad6d5a8c9)
Greta waited for the man in the backseat to answer her. Humiliation burned deep in her chest. Her hopes that Morris had seen the error of his ways and had become a reformed man were nothing more than wishes in the wind. He hadn’t changed. And now she was taking him to the one place where she and her sisters had been safe from his venom.
The young girl lying on the bench seat started to sit up, but the man stopped her. He moved his duffel bag from beside him to the floor. “Please, have a seat.”
“Danki.” Greta maneuvered past his long legs. She sat beside him and pressed herself into the corner wishing she could sink through the seat and onto the pavement outside. She couldn’t imagine what the other passengers must be thinking.
Baptized members of their faith were forbidden to have close contact with a shunned member. That this young man offered her a place beside him meant that he had not yet taken his vows. She crossed her arms tightly over her bag and made herself as small as possible. She should have spoken up. She should have refuted her uncle’s claim, but years of remaining silent while Morris chastised her in front of others had fastened her tongue to the top of her mouth.
They wouldn’t believe her, anyway. They would believe him. He was a man and an elder.
“Are you all right?” the young man beside her asked quietly.
She glanced his way and saw honest compassion in his expression. His small gesture of kindness brought tears to Greta’s eyes. She nodded, too upset to speak.
She should have expected her uncle’s rebuff, but after living with her loving grandfather in a happy home for the past eight months she had forgotten how easily her uncle could make her feel like dirt. All it took was a few distasteful words in his condescending voice to make her feel like an unwanted child again. She hadn’t come nearly as far as she thought she had. If only she could be strong like Lizzie.
The driver got in. “Are we ready?”
A general murmur of consent was enough for him. “Okeydokey. I’ve been told that Mr. Barkman can’t ride more than an hour without stopping. We will stop for lunch at a little place I know in Van Wert about an hour from now. Then, I’ll drop the Coblentz family just south of there in Ohio City and we’ll get back on the road to Hope Springs, Ohio. That’s my plan. Mr. Barkman, are you doing okay?”
“No one cares so let’s get going.”
The driver turned in his seat. “Sir, if you’re not feeling well we should inform the hospital staff right away.”
“I’m good enough. I’d rather die on the road than go back inside this poor excuse for a hospital. Drive on.”
Arles shrugged. “All right. Mr. Yoder, is your sister doing okay?”
“She is, danki.”
“Good. We have one stop at the pharmacy to make and then we’ll be on the road.”
They left the hospital behind, and Mr. Hooper maneuvered the van skillfully through the city traffic. He stopped at the pharmacy the nurse had suggested. Greta had to pass by everyone to get out of the van. She was aware of the covert looks cast her way but decided to ignore them. It was useless to protest now.
After she returned with her uncle’s pills, Mr. Hooper soon had them out on the highway heading east. A few minutes later Greta’s seatmate asked, “Do you have enough room?”
“Am I crowding you?” She scooted away from him another inch. She had been so wrapped up in her humiliation that she had failed to pay attention to her surroundings.
She glanced at the girl beside him. “Is your sister comfortable?”
“I think she’s asleep.”
“Has she been sick long?”
“She was injured in a house fire two months ago. She suffered smoke inhalation and burns to her head and neck.”
“How terrible.”
“Her lungs were damaged by the smoke. She was on the ventilator for several weeks which is why her voice is so weak. God in His mercy saw fit to save her, and I’m grateful. I don’t know what I would do without her.”
She heard the sadness in his voice. “A fire is such a terrible thing. Was anyone else in your family hurt?”
“My parents perished.”
“Oh, I’m very sorry.”
“Has your uncle been ill long?”
Greta looked out the window. “A few weeks. He had a heart attack. I will tell you because I know you are wondering and you have been kind. My sisters and I left our uncle’s church here in Indiana under difficult circumstances. If the church placed us in the Bann, this is the first I have heard about it. We have been accepted into an Old Order congregation in Hope Springs, Ohio, where we live with our grandfather. I am a member of good standing in that community although I have not yet taken my vows.”
Morris had been listening. He turned in his seat. “Does your bishop know he harbors such an unchristian family of snakes to his bosom? Does he know your grandfather set his dog on me? I still have the scars. I will make it clear you are not fit to be members when I meet your bishop.”
Greta wanted to vanish. She wanted to crawl inside herself. She wasn’t brave the way Lizzie was brave. What would Lizzie do? She would stand up to him. She wouldn’t accept this humiliation.
No, she wouldn’t.
Greta raised her chin. She wasn’t bold, but she knew what Lizzie would say. “Bishop Zook knows our story well, Onkel. I think you are the one he will be keeping an eye on. But why are we talking about unchristian behavior? Forgiveness is God’s command to us.”
Morris muttered something again, but Greta couldn’t hear what it was. He turned his back on her. She clamped her lower lip between her teeth to keep it from trembling. She had spoken back to him for the first time in her life.
It was empowering to speak her mind. She didn’t have to be bullied by him on this trip. No one here knew her or cared how she behaved. So what if they thought she was disrespectful. They didn’t know the truth.
Greta glanced at Toby and found him watching her closely. She quickly looked down. She was not behaving as a humble maiden should. He must think her very brazen.
“Did your grandfather really sic the dog on your uncle?” The raspy whisper came from Toby’s sister as she sat up. She held her bonnet pulled forward to cover the left side of her face.
Greta shook her head and whispered back, “No one set the dog on him. Onkel Morris doesn’t like dogs and our dog, Duncan, didn’t like him. Duncan thought he was protecting us.”
Marianne said, “Animals know if people are nice or not.”
Greta smiled. The child was so right. Leaning forward, Greta winked at her. “I agree. Duncan is an excellent judge of character.”
* * *
Toby watched in amazement as his sister smiled at their seatmate and giggled. It was a tiny gurgle more than a giggle, but it was the most emotion he’d seen from her since the fire.
A great weight lifted off his chest. Until this moment, he hadn’t been aware of the pressure. The glimpse of the girl she used to be filled his heart with joy.
Had leaving the hospital triggered this improvement, or was it the infectious smile of their new traveling companion? Perhaps it was a combination of the two. Either way, he was relieved to see this small sign of progress.
“My name is Greta Barkman,” she told his sister.
“I’m Marianne.”
“And I’m Toby Yoder,” he added.
“It’s nice to meet you both. Do you have a dog, Marianne?” Greta asked.
His sister shook her head. Toby read the regret in the turned-down corners of her mouth. He said, “We may have to look into getting one.”
Marianne’s eyes brightened, but then she shook her head and leaned away from him.
He said, “I know we won’t be able to keep a dog at our aunt’s house. She doesn’t like dogs, but we’ll have our own home again someday. When we do, we will get a dog. I promise.”
She sighed deeply but didn’t say anything else. Greta sat back and turned to look out the window. It seemed her friendliness was reserved for his sister. After a few minutes, she opened her bag and pulled out a wooden hoop with a length of white fabric secured in it. Half the circle was filled with blue cross-stitched flowers. Deftly, she began creating another row.
He tried to focus on the passing scenery. It wasn’t often he had the chance to ride in a car. It was amazing how quickly the farms and fields slipped behind them. Empty fields waiting for spring to bring back the green. Red barns and occasional blue road signs were the only bright colors besides the blue sky. Toby soon grew bored with the winter landscape and began watching Greta again.
She had her circle completed in no time. Loosening the hoop, she withdrew her fabric and replaced it with a fresh square from her bag. Marianne shifted on her seat, and he glanced her way. She was leaning forward to watch Greta work, too. It wasn’t long before Greta noticed.
“Do you cross-stitch?”
Toby touched his chest. “Me? Sure.”
A smile played at the corner of her mouth. “It’s an unusual pastime for a man.”
“I would call it a learning experience. I remember my first as if it were yesterday.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Really?”
“He’s doesn’t know how,” Marianne whispered.
“That’s what you think, little sister. Grandmother taught me to do it when I was your age.”
He could see Marianne didn’t believe him. He had trouble keeping a straight face. “It’s true. She made me sit in the corner and fill her hoop with one phrase over and over again. Her hoop was much bigger than yours, Greta.”
“And what was that phrase?” Greta asked.
“I will not tell a lie. I will not tell a lie. I will not tell a lie. It took me four hours to finish it to her satisfaction. The lesson stuck.”
Greta chuckled. “I think I would like to meet your grandmother.”
“She lives with her widowed sister near Bird-in-Hand. You can ask her about the story. She’ll tell you it’s true.”
“I don’t doubt you, but I was actually asking Marianne if she knew how to cross-stitch?”
“Do you?” He looked at his sister.
She shook her head.
“I’m sure Greta can show you how it’s done.”
“I’d be delighted. It’s easy. These are panels that will go down the center of a quilt my sisters and I are stitching.”
“Switch places with me.” He rose and let his sister slide across the seat to sit beside Greta. She was soon engrossed in Greta’s instructions, leaving him free to watch both of them.
Within a few minutes, Marianne had the hoop and the needle and thread on her lap. “What if I make a mistake? I don’t want to ruin it.”
“We all make mistakes. It would be a shame not to learn something new because you’re afraid you won’t get it right. Besides, you will not ruin it. I can easily undo the stitches.”
Marianne’s efforts were tentative at first, but under Greta’s gentle guidance, she soon grew more confident. She was actually talking, even if her voice was still a hoarse whisper. Toby was surprised when the driver turned off the highway into the parking lot of a small diner. Were they in Van Wert already? An hour had gone by very quickly.
Arles turned to address his passengers. “I’d like everyone to be back in the van in thirty minutes. That should give us all plenty of time to eat and walk about a little. Mr. Barkman, how are you doing?”
“Well enough. I don’t imagine the food will be good at a place like this.”
“It’s got to be better than the hospital food,” Toby said as he slipped into his coat.
The driver got out and came around to open the door. The Coblentz family piled out quickly. Morris stayed where he was so Toby got out next and held out his hand for his sister. She took it and stepped carefully onto the pavement. He was worried that this outing would be too much for her, but she seemed to be doing okay.
He moved back to let Greta out. She was about to step down when her uncle rose. His cane slid to the side between her feet. Greta tripped and fell headlong out of the van. Toby lunged to catch her.
Chapter Five (#ulink_a59b91af-86f0-587e-818d-869d1e9a06d4)
Finding herself in Toby’s arms took Greta’s breath away. Strong and rock steady, he held her as if she weighed nothing at all. She gripped his shoulders to get her feet under her. The feel of his firm muscles beneath her fingers sent a rush of excitement through her veins. It tightened her chest and made it hard to breathe. She licked her suddenly dry lips as she looked up at him.
Electricity seemed to shimmer between them like the glow of distant lightning. His dark brown eyes widened in surprise. Did he feel it, too? She couldn’t tear her gaze away from his expressive face.
“Are you all right?” Marianne asked.
The child’s whispery voice brought Greta back to the present. What was wrong with her? No man had ever had this effect on her.
She slowly withdrew from Toby’s embrace. His cheeks blossomed with a dull red color. Was it her imagination, or was he reluctant to let her go?
He spoke to Morris. “You must be more careful.”
Morris pushed out of his seat. “It was an accident. What you want me to say?”
After stepping down from the van, he looked at the people who stood staring at him. He straightened and his frown deepened. “I said it was an accident.”
“I’m fine, Onkel. Do not you worry yourself about it,” Greta said quietly.
“He should say he’s sorry,” Marianne muttered.
“And your parents should teach you not to disrespect your elders,” Morris grumbled.
Tears welled up in Marianne’s eyes, and she pressed her face against Toby’s side.
“Why she crying? What did I say?” Morris demanded. Everyone was still clustered around the side of the van.
Toby’s face reflected his deep pain as he gazed at his sister. “Our parents were killed in a fire a few months ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. How was I to know? My doctor said I have to walk.” Morris shouldered his way through the onlookers and began walking along the sidewalk in front of the restaurant.
“I should go with him in case he has trouble,” Greta said.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Toby offered.
She shook her head. “I’m sure Marianne would like a soda or a cup of tea.”
“All right. Can I order anything for you?”
“I would dearly love a cup of coffee.”
Greta took a seat on the bench out front where she could keep an eye on Morris. It was growing colder. A bank of gray clouds shut out the sun in the west. She buttoned the top buttons of her coat and pulled on her gloves. She was surprised when Marianne sat down beside her.
“Don’t you want to go inside?” Greta asked.
“Nee, people stare at me.” Her voice was weaker than before. Greta could see how tired she was.
“In that case, please join me. I’m not really hungry, but I may have some dessert when my uncle is finished with his walk.”
She looked around for Toby and saw him waiting beside the door with his hands shoved in his coat pockets. She motioned toward the diner with her head. He nodded his understanding. She would watch over Marianne while he went in.
“What sorts of desserts do you like, Marianne?”
“Ice cream and pie. I hear a kitten. There it is.” Marianne pointed toward Morris.
A small calico cat was rubbing against his leg. He nudged it away with his cane, but the cat came back, stood on its hind legs and pawed at his trousers. It began meowing loudly.
“Your uncle must like cats.”
“As far as I know, he doesn’t care for any living thing except himself.”
Greta bit her lip as she realized she shouldn’t have spoken like that in front of the child. She shouldn’t even have such thoughts. Her feelings about her uncle were hard to hide, but he was ill. He deserved some kindness although she wasn’t sure she had any to offer.
Morris pushed the cat away and walked on. Greta glanced at Marianne. “I like ice cream, too. Chocolate is my favorite. But when it’s cold outside like this I like pumpkin pie with whipped topping.”
Marianne pulled away and wrinkled her nose.
Greta laughed. Cupping her fingers under her chin, she tapped her cheek with one finger in mock concentration. “I think you are someone who likes coconut pie.”
Shaking her head, Marianne stuck out her tongue.
“Strawberry rhubarb?” Greta glanced toward her uncle, keeping one eye on him while she engaged Marianne in conversation. He bent to scratch the cat’s head.
“Peach,” Marianne stated in a harsh whisper. Greta wasn’t sure if it was the cold or fatigue, but the girl’s voice was definitely weaker. She needed to rest it.
Just then, Toby returned bearing gifts. He held three foam cups in his hands. He set them on the end of the bench and passed them around. “Coffee for you, Greta, and hot chocolate for you, Marianne.”
“Danki.” Greta took the beverage from him.
Marianne eagerly accepted hers. He sat down and took a sip from his cup. “Not bad.”
“Delicious,” Greta added. She glanced toward Morris. He was bent over. Was he talking to the cat? The animal paced back and forth in front of him still meowing.
Greta looked down at the drink in her hands as she tried to quell the bitterness that rose in her throat. He could treat a stray cat with kindness but not his own kin.
She focused on Toby. “Your sister was telling me that she likes peach pie. I have a friend whose husband loves peach pie. His name is Levi Beachy and he makes buggies in our town. What do you do, Toby?”
“I work at a factory that builds RVs in Fort Wayne, or I did until recently. Before that, our family lived in Pennsylvania. There, I was a wood-carver, but the shop where my father and I were employed closed and we couldn’t find work. That’s why we moved to Fort Wayne. I’m not sure what I will do now, but Marianne and I will figure that out together.”
He looked at his sister as she sipped her chocolate with relish, and he smiled softly. Toby was a kind and caring brother. It made Greta miss her sisters. She would love to have them here with her now.
The cat jumped in her lap scaring the wits out of her. She jerked in fright, sloshing hot coffee on her hand. The cat ran back to her uncle. Greta saw him leaning heavily on his cane and clutching his chest.
Greta dropped her drink and hurried toward him.
“Are you all right, Onkel?” she asked when she reached his side.
“Need my...pills.” He was fumbling at his vest pocket.
Greta quickly extracted a small vial. Her fingers trembled as she opened the lid and shook a pill into his hand. He put it under his tongue.
Toby slipped his arms around the old man’s shoulders and behind his knees. He lifted him like a child, carried him to the bench and laid him down. Morris was breathing heavily. Toby looked at Greta. “Should we call an ambulance?”
“Ja.”
“Nee.” Morris shook his head. “It’s better.”
“Are you sure?” She knelt in front of him.
He gave her a sour look. “You won’t have to pay for my burial yet, Mouse.”
Greta took a deep breath and disguised her shame with a show of indifference. It was a skill she had learned well living with him. But Lizzie wouldn’t let such a jab go unanswered. Greta narrowed her eyes. “That’s good to know, Onkel. My expense account is woefully inadequate at the moment.”
That took him aback. It did her good to see his surprise. The mouse hadn’t roared, but it squeaked.
Was there any way to reach him? To make him see how hurtful his words could be? Had he really tried to make her fall out of the van, or was it an accident as he claimed? She couldn’t be sure.
When she and her sisters had lived with him, his abuse had been overt. A beating with a belt or with a wooden rod. That punishment wasn’t available to him with so many people around. She didn’t want to believe the worst of him, but she had never seen anything else.
“Help me up,” he said, reaching for her hand.
She hesitated. Why should she? Why had she even come?
A second later, she knew the answer as clearly as if God had spoken to her. She was here because it was the right thing to do. Returning evil for evil did no one any good. Taking his hand, she pulled him into a sitting position.
He sighed heavily. “I would like a cup of tea.”
She kept one hand under his elbow as he stood. Toby stayed close until she had Morris seated at a booth inside the diner. Toby and Marianne chose their own table and sat away from the group. Marianne sat next to the wall, sinking into the corner as if hiding from the world. Greta’s heart went out to her.
Morris was watching them, too. “Why does she keep her hand at the side of her face all the time? Is she looking for attention?”
“I think she is self-conscious about the scars on her neck and face. She was burned in the house fire that killed her parents.”
“They aren’t noticeable scars. She’s vain.”
Compelled to defend the sweet child, Greta glared at her uncle. “To a girl that age they must seem enormous and ghastly. She deserves our kindness not our judgment.”
He turned his attention to the waitress and ordered tea. Greta ordered a cup of soup and a slice of peach pie.
Her uncle’s color improved steadily. He soon seemed to be his old self. He complained that the tea was lukewarm and sent it back. Then he asked for a glass of ice because it arrived too hot to drink.
When he finished his tea, he rose and headed for the restrooms at the back of the diner. He stumbled and staggered sideways a step before regaining his balance and heading on. Greta caught Toby’s eye. He nodded and then indicated his sister with a glance in her direction. Greta nodded, too. Toby rose to follow her uncle while Greta moved to sit with Marianne. It was amazing how easily they communicated with only a shared look. He wasn’t like anyone she had met before. She quickly pushed her interest in him to the back of her mind.
Taking her uneaten pie as a pretense, she sat down at the same table with the child. “Would you like my pie? I don’t have room for it.”
Marianne nodded. Greta pushed the dish toward her. She folded her hands and smiled. “I have always wanted to travel to Pennsylvania. Is it pretty?”
Marianne nodded again.
“Are you and your brother visiting family there?”
“We’re going to live with my aenti.”
“You and your brother?”
“Ja.”
“I’m very sorry about your parents. My parents have gone to heaven, too, so I know your sadness. I miss them although I know they are happy with God. I’m not alone, though. I have three sisters and we all look out for each other the way your brother has been looking out for you on this trip. You are blessed that he was spared.”
Marianne didn’t say anything, so Greta forged ahead. “It’s hard to talk about the people we have lost, but you don’t have to be afraid. You can tell me about it.”
“Nee, you will hate me.”
“We must never hate anyone, Marianne.” If only she could follow her own advice.
“It was my fault they died.” Marianne pushed the rest of the uneaten pie aside and got up from the table. She rushed outside leaving Greta to wonder exactly what had happened to the child’s family.
After paying her bill, Greta went outside, too. The Coblentz family was already in the van. Greta got in and sat at the back with Marianne. The girl lay curled onto her side facing the back of the seat. Greta couldn’t see her face. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
The child ignored her. Greta chewed her lower lip. She had been trying to help but she may have made things worse. Morris and Toby came out of the restaurant a short time later. Mr. Hooper started the van as Toby climbed in behind Morris. A loud thunk from the engine and a cat’s screech startled everyone.
Arles and Toby went to the front of the vehicle. Greta got out, and Marianne followed her.
Chapter Six (#ulink_34d8db62-75a2-58ad-8e8c-8d881b250662)
Arles lifted the hood of the van. Toby leaned in and pulled the limp cat free. It was the same calico that had fawned over Greta’s uncle earlier. The poor thing had been hit by the fan blade. It bore an awful gash on the side of its neck and most of its left ear was missing.
“Help her,” Marianne pleaded with tears in her eyes.
Greta quickly offered her handkerchief. “Use this to stop the bleeding.”
“Danki.” Toby pressed the cloth to the animal’s head.
“We must find the owner. The poor thing needs a veterinarian,” Greta said.
Toby looked around. “Maybe the restaurant owner or one of the customers will know who she belongs to. I’ll go ask.”
“I’ll take her,” Greta offered. She unbuttoned her coat. Toby handed the animal to her. She wrapped the poor thing in her long apron and tried to soothe her.
The cat started crying pitifully. Marianne watched with wide frightened eyes.
Toby rushed into the restaurant. He caught sight of the cook, a middle-aged Englisch fellow with a large stained apron tied around his ample middle. “We need some help. A cat has been injured. Perhaps you can tell us who owns it.”
“I doubt it, but let me take a look.” He followed Toby outside and adjusted his glasses to peer at the cat in Greta’s arms.
“That’s one of Mrs. Alcorn’s critters. The old woman died a few months ago. The cats are strays now. Some of the neighbors feed this one, but it won’t go inside any of their houses. The old lady had heart trouble. She always said this cat would let her know when she was about to have one of her spells.”
“Perhaps that was why she was pawing at my uncle’s legs,” Greta said. “She sensed he was about to have an attack.”
“Animals have remarkable senses,” Toby said. “Can you tell us where we can find a veterinarian? This poor animal is suffering.”
The cook pointed down a side street. “Doc Harley has a clinic out near the edge of town. You can’t miss it.”
Arles said, “I can’t ask these folks to wait while we take the cat to the vet.”
“We can’t leave the poor thing lying here in the street.” Greta glared at the driver.
“I wasn’t suggesting that. This man can take care of it.”
The cook shook his head. “I’ve got a business to run, and I have customers waiting.” He turned and strode away.
There was no way Toby was going to leave this animal to fend for itself. He’d just have to hire another driver if Arles wouldn’t help. “You can travel on without Marianne and me. I’ll get our bag out of the van. We will expect a refund.”
Scratching his head, Arles said, “Let’s don’t be hasty. I reckon we can take a few minutes to turn the cat over to the veterinarian. Okay?”
“That’s all we’re asking,” Toby said.
Everyone got back into the van and Greta, with the cat wrapped in her apron, took her place in the back. Marianne sat beside her. Greta tried to reassure the child. “Don’t worry. Someone is going to look after her.”
Doc Harley turned out to be a woman in her sixties with short kinky gray hair, a rumpled smock and a no-nonsense manner. She was able to see them after only a brief wait. She examined the cat and smiled at Marianne who was clinging to Greta’s side. “I think it looks worse than it is. Cats are very resilient creatures. She will do fine.”
“But she doesn’t have an ear,” Marianne whispered.
“She will look unusual, but she will still be able to hear. This laceration on her neck is going to need a few stitches. Other than that, I think she’s in pretty good shape. She could use a little more meat on her bones. Has she been eating normally?”
“According to the man at the restaurant, she’s a stray that belonged to Mrs. Alcorn,” Toby said.
“Oh, yes, our resident cat lady. I thought this one looked familiar. It’s the one she called Christmas. The little stray showed up at her house on Christmas morning a year ago. She was very attached to this one. It’s a shame that no one took her after Mrs. Alcorn passed away. If this isn’t your cat, are you still willing to pay for her care?”
Toby’s funds were limited. He looked at the others. Morris shook his head, “I have no money to spend on a cat.”
“If we leave her here, will you take care of her?” Marianne asked.
The vet shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t have room to look after every stray cat that comes this way. I’ll turn her over to the county animal shelter. They’ll try to find someone to adopt her.”
“No one will love her because she’s ugly now,” Marianne said sadly and reached out to stroke the cat’s back.
Toby heard the pain in his sister’s voice and knew she was expressing her own fears. He wanted so much to help her, but he didn’t know how.
Greta said, “She’s a lovely cat. A missing ear and a few scars won’t change that. I’ll pay for her care today, and I’ll take her home.”
“All right.” The vet smiled brightly. “Let me take her into surgery to clean these cuts and stitch her up. You can have a seat in the waiting room. It may take an hour or so.”
As the vet walked away, Marianne looked up at Greta. “Are you sure you want to keep her? People will stare and make fun of her because she’s different.”
“You don’t intend to drag that cat along with us, do you? Leave it here,” Morris said, his voice laced with disgust.
Greta’s back straightened. “I do intend to take Christmas with us. She needs a home, and I like her. I don’t care that she looks different. She has a good heart and that is more important than her appearance. She tried to help you. We just weren’t smart enough to know what she was trying to tell us.”
Toby admired the way she stood up to her grumpy uncle and gave his sister a gentle lesson, as well. Looks were not everything. Goodness mattered.
“Foolishness, that’s all it is.” Morris settled in a waiting room chair. Marianne sat down a few chairs away from him.
Arles rubbed his chin. “I feel responsible for the poor thing, but I have people waiting in the van. What do I tell them?”
Toby slipped his hands in his pockets. “Didn’t you say you were taking the Coblentzes’s to Ohio City? Can’t you drop them off and come back to pick us up?”
“You know, that’s a good idea. I’ll be back soon as I can.” He grinned and headed out the door, clearly relieved to resume his schedule.
Toby took a seat beside Marianne. He picked up a magazine and thumbed through it. He was surprised when she spoke to him. “Mamm said I had a good heart.”
It wasn’t much, but it was a start. His heart expanded with love for his sister. “Mamm always spoke the truth. She loved you very much. She loves you even from heaven.”
Marianne didn’t reply. She got to her feet and went to look through the magazine rack.
He laid his magazine aside and looked at Greta standing by the window. Pushing out of his chair, he went to thank her.
* * *
Greta folded her arms and stared out at the gray sky as she waited. Toby came and stood beside her. Quietly, he said, “I appreciate what you’re doing for the cat. It means a lot to my sister. I would like to reimburse you for part of this cost. If you would give me your address, I will send you the money when I can.”
“Don’t worry about the money. I’m just glad that I’m able to help. Unlike some people,” she glanced over her shoulder at her uncle.
“Don’t be too hard on him. Not everyone believes we have a responsibility to care for all God’s creatures.”
“But you do.” She looked at him and saw only sincerity and kindness in his face. He had a nice face. The planes and angles of it gave him a rugged look, but they softened when he smiled and his smile reached his eyes, making them sparkle.
He said, “I like animals. Dogs, cats, horses, cows.”
“Sheep?” she asked.
“I don’t know any sheep personally, but I’m sure I would find something to like about them. They look...fluffy.”
“Only until they are sheared. Then they look naked and embarrassed.” She pressed her hand to her mouth as heat rose in her face. Why had she said that?
He chuckled. “You seem to know your sheep well.”
She giggled at her own foolishness. “I live with my grandfather. He raises them. Spend ten minutes with him and his hired man, Carl, and you will learn far more about sheep that you ever thought possible.”
“Do sheep get along with cats?” He took a step closer and leaned one shoulder against the wall. His nearness sent a wave of awareness shooting along her nerve endings. She was stunned by a compelling urge to move closer to him, too.
She didn’t, but she wanted to. Looking down to hide that longing, she said, “As far as I know. I am a little concerned about our dog, Duncan. He’s not a cat lover.”
“Maybe he’ll make an exception for a cat named Christmas.” The sweet, low timbre of his voice sent her pulse racing.
“Perhaps he will.” She tried to get a grip on her runaway emotions. He was making polite conversation and nothing more. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t the kind of woman to get silly over a man. She was practical and levelheaded. So why did she feel giddy and happy when he was close?
She stole a sidelong glance at him and found him regarding her intently.
What was he thinking? Did he find her attractive?
Foolish thought. She glanced away and saw her uncle watching them with a sour look on his face. Instantly, she was back in his house, hearing his angry voice belittle her attempts to gain his affection. Anger rose up to choke her. Shame burned like acid in her stomach.
Toby said, “I’m grateful that you have been kind to my sister and I wanted to thank you for that. Having you along is making this trip much easier on her.”
Greta gripped her hands together. If he knew the kind of person she was underneath the calm face she wore, he wouldn’t want his sister having anything to do with her.
* * *
Toby wanted to see Greta smile again. There was something about the gleam in her eyes and the delicate curve of her lips that warmed him and made him smile in return. There hadn’t been much happiness in his life in the past two months, but this woman gave him hope. Hope that he and his sister could find their way back to each other. Greta seemed to be the oil that calmed their troubled waters. Marianne responded to her in a way she hadn’t responded to the nurses or therapists she had seen in the hospital.
Maybe he was being ridiculous. He’d known Greta for less than two hours, but somehow it felt as if he had known her for a very long time. Tomorrow, they would part company. It saddened him to think he would never see her again.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
She read him too easily. “I was thinking that it’s a shame our journey will be over so soon.”
A hint of color rose in her cheeks. She focused her gaze out the window. “It has been interesting.”
“Much more interesting than I thought it would be.”
“What’s taking that doctor so long?” Morris asked, shifting in his chair and drawing Toby’s attention.
Marianne came to stand in front of him and held out a newspaper. “Would you like something to read?”
“There’s nothing else to do.” He took it from her.
“Du bishcht wilkumm,” she whispered primly and sat in the chair beside him.
Toby shot a quick grin at Greta and kept his voice low. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you’re welcome sound like a reprimand.”
Morris scowled at Marianne but nodded once. “Danki.”
“At least she got him to say thank you. That’s more than I have ever done.” The chill in Greta’s tone smothered Toby’s mirth and caused him to look at her closely.
All sign of emotion had vanished from her face. Whatever was wrong between Greta and her uncle, it wasn’t as simple as a grumpy elder making travel difficult.
She abruptly headed for the door. “I need some air.”
Chapter Seven (#ulink_23d1c665-c10b-56d8-a961-b7efd1096d07)
Toby started to follow Greta. He wanted to know what was wrong, wanted to help if he could. He opened the door, but Marianne shot out of her chair and rushed to his side, her eyes wide with fright as she clutched his arm. “Where are you going?”
Toby had his own troubles to deal with. He should be concentrating on his sister and not on a woman he’d just met. “No place. I was looking for our van, but Arles isn’t back yet.”
As he watched Greta walk out to the road, he knew he was kidding himself. He couldn’t ignore her even if he tried. Something about her touched him in a way no other woman had.
Tomorrow she will vanish from my life and there’s nothing I can do about it. We live hundreds of miles apart. How would I see her? There could be someone special in her life already. This is crazy.
Sighing heavily, he closed the door and led Marianne back to her seat. She hung on to his arm until he sat down, her worried eyes glued to his face. He tried to soothe her. “I know Aenti Linda doesn’t like dogs, but I wonder if she likes cats?”
Marianne relaxed and smiled slightly. “She had one named Boots...when she and Mamm were little.”
“Did she? I never knew that.”
“Mamm told me. Boots was yellow with white paws.”
Morris rattled his paper as he turned the page. “They shouldn’t be made into pets. God created them to catch vermin.”
“Mamm said Boots caught lots of mice.”
Morris huffed his displeasure and raised the paper to hide behind. Toby wondered if he could pry a little more information about Greta from her uncle. “I heard Arles say you and your niece are going to Hope Springs. Where is that exactly?”
“Between Millersburg and Sugarcreek in Holmes County.”
“Greta mentioned she had sisters. How many are there?”
Morris folded his paper and glared at Toby. “I have four ungrateful, spiteful nieces. It’s a blessing that my brother is gone. To see his daughters turn their back on their family the way they did would have broken his heart. Greta is a shrew.”
Toby was taken aback by the harshness of his words. “I’m sorry to hear that. Greta seems like a nice woman.”
“Proverbs 31:30. ‘Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.’ I tried to teach her to fear the Lord, but she did not listen. Do not be fooled by her. Do not believe what she says about me.”
Toby fell silent, reluctant to listen to anything else Morris had to say, but the old man’s words confirmed Toby’s earlier feeling. There was more wrong between Greta and her uncle than met the eye.
Marianne tugged on Toby’s sleeve. He leaned down to hear her weak whisper, “Greta is nice. I like her.”
“I like her, too. You should rest your voice now,” he said softly.
She nodded. He sat back and stared at the door, waiting for Greta to return. Everything happened for a reason. Everything was part of God’s plan. He had a purpose in sending the cat to them. There was a reason Toby and his sister had been chosen to share a ride with Greta and her uncle. Perhaps somehow they were meant to help each other. He prayed that was true.
* * *
Greta walked along the narrow roadway in front of the animal clinic with her eyes downcast and her hands clenched. She prayed for patience. She prayed for strength. She prayed to hold forgiveness in her heart. It was wrong to stay angry and bitter. She knew that. Her inability to find true forgiveness for her uncle’s transgressions made her unworthy to be a member of the Amish faith. One more thing her uncle had taken from her.
No, she couldn’t think that way.
If only her sisters were here to counsel her. She needed them now as she had always needed them. Their loving presence in her life was a true gift from God. Without each other, she had no idea how they would have endured life with their uncle.
She stopped and raised her face to the sky. “I thank You for Your mercy, Lord. Please help me. Curb my tongue so I don’t say spiteful things to him. Make me remember that he is ill and alone. Let me find the compassion to make his final days comfortable. You alone are the judge of mankind, for only You can see into our hearts. I don’t want to harbor this ill will inside me, Lord. Cast it out. Please, cast it out.”
Praying eased her agitation and helped her regain a measure of calm. She needed to remember that she was never alone. God was with her, watching her, holding her up as she dealt with every trial in her life, not just her uncle.
Although her faith in God had wavered during her years with Morris, the past few months in her grandfather’s loving home, and her acceptance by the caring community of Hope Springs, had restored and strengthened that faith. She would not doubt again, no matter how difficult life became.
Turning around in the road, she walked back the way she had come with renewed resolve. No matter what her uncle said or did, she would turn the other cheek and give him the care he needed, even if she couldn’t do it with a glad heart.
On her walk back, she noticed the Christmas decorations on the houses and lawns along the road that she had been too upset to see before. A huge blow-up snowman and an equally large Santa adorned one yard while a second house had only a row of red lights around the porch. She and her sisters had enjoyed the few times they were allowed to go into town during the Christmas season. The lights and decorations were pretty, but they didn’t hold the true meaning of the season. This year, she would try hard to make her heart worthy of the gift God had given the world on that first Christmas Day. His only Son.
She reached the clinic just as the van returned. Arles got out and gave her a big smile. “Grandma Coblentz was sure happy to see her grandkids. It’s the best part of my job, bringing families together. I like it when it’s for weddings and Christmas, but I don’t much care for carrying folks to funerals. Still, even death has its place in our lives. It brings us together, too. How is that poor cat?”
“The vet was still working on her when I stepped out.”
“I hope we can get going soon. The weather report is calling for central Ohio to get heavy snow. It could be a humdinger of a storm. I’d sure like to stay ahead of it.” He held open the clinic door and she walked in.
Just as they entered, the vet came out carrying a cardboard box with rows of round holes along the sides. She set the container on the chair beside Marianne and opened the top. Everyone but Morris crowded around to look.
Christmas lay curled up sleeping. The cat had a bandage around her head that left her good ear protruding through a slit in the material. The side of her neck had been shaved. A half dozen dark stitches were visible in the pink skin.
The vet held out a bottle of pills to Greta. “I’ve given her some sedation. She should sleep for a while. When she wakes up, I want you to give her one of these three times a day. It’s an antibiotic. Keep the stitches clean and dry. Watch for signs of infection. If she starts scratching at it, cover it with a dressing. I gave her a flea treatment, too. She needed it. Give her water, but don’t give her any food for a few hours. Do you have anything to feed her?”
Greta shook her head. The doctor left the room and returned with a second cardboard pet carrier. “I’ve put some kitty litter and a couple of pouches of cat food in here. It should be enough to last a few days. I think she’ll be fine.”
“Never seen a cat wearing a bonnet before. She looks almost Amish,” Arles said with a chuckle.
Greta had to admit he was right. The only thing the cat’s head covering was missing to make it more bonnetlike was the ribbons. After settling the bill, Greta handed the box to Marianne. It looked for a moment as if the girl would refuse to carry it, but the cat meowed pitifully from inside.
Marianne took the box and set it on the floor. She opened the top. Reaching in, she petted the cat. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”
Arles said, “We should get on the road if we are going to make Upper Sandusky before dark. We’ll stop briefly in Beaverdam for Mr. Barkman to take his walk. Hopefully, we won’t have any more delays.”
“Just a minute.” The vet left the room and returned a few moments later with a pink cord and a small pink dog harness in her hand. “You will have to keep her on a leash when you let her out so she doesn’t run off. Someone left these here. You can have them. No charge. This way you won’t have to put a collar over those stitches.”
“That’s very kind of you,” Greta said.
“It was good of you to take care of this poor little stray. I’m sure her former mistress is looking down and smiling to know that her companion has found a new family.”
Toby picked up the pet carriers and they all went out to the van. Without the Coblentz family taking up most of the seats, it was much roomier. Morris climbed in first. Marianne sat behind him in the second row. She looked at Toby. “Can Christmas sit with me?”
“Sure.” He put the cat on the seat beside her and the box with the supplies on the floor.
He stepped aside as Greta got in. She paused beside the seat behind Marianne, but decided to go all the way to the back so Toby could sit behind his sister. She was surprised when he came and sat down with her.
“Do you mind?” he asked.
Chapter Eight (#ulink_d53d09de-0f47-5b01-81b6-3aa35dc4f7d1)
He wants to sit with me.
A flush of pleasure made Greta smile and look down. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice she was blushing. She felt like a schoolgirl again. “I don’t mind at all.”
“Did your walk help?”
She glanced at him sharply. “It did.”
“Goot. Want to talk about it?”
It was tempting but she shook her head.
“And here I expected to be entertained by your nonstop chatter.” His teasing tone pulled a reluctant smile from her.
“If you want nonstop chatter, I suggest you start talking.”
“I guess I’m not in the mood for it, after all.” He stifled a yawn.
“You can sleep. It won’t bother me.”
“Are you trying to tell me I look tired?”
She tipped her head to regard him closely. “Tired? Nee. Haggard to the point of collapse. Ja.”
He chuckled again. “Sadly, that is a fair assessment.”
“Shall I move up to another seat so you can stretch out?”
He settled lower, leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “I think I have forgotten how to sleep lying down. It’s been so long. I just need to close my eyes for a minute. I hope Marianne isn’t overdoing it. I worry about her. She doesn’t have much strength.”
“You stayed with your sister while she was in the hospital?”
“I had to. She got very upset if I wasn’t there. There wasn’t anyone else to stay with her. We hadn’t yet settled into a community here or joined a new church. A few of my friends came at first, but the hospital would only allow family members into the burn unit. Our aunt wanted to come, but she has a big family to care for, and I knew it would be a hardship for her. In retrospect, I should have accepted her offer.”
“Do you do that often?” Greta asked.
He opened his eyes and frowned. “Do I do what?”
“Refuse help when you need it?”
He gave her a wry smile. “Am I guilty of being prideful? I have been, but I’m learning that I can’t do everything.”
Greta gathered her things. “Then stretch out on this bench and take a nap. I will keep an eye on your sister and wake you if she needs anything.”
He nodded his consent. Greta moved up to one of the single seats where she could keep an eye on Marianne and on Toby. He folded his long legs on the seat and pillowed his head on his coat. It wasn’t long before his breathing became deep and even and she knew he was asleep.
She had never watched a man sleeping before. At least no one younger than the elders who sometimes nodded off during the long church services. The lines of strain around Toby’s eyes touched a chord within her. She wanted to see them soothed away.
They didn’t detract from his good looks. At leisure to study him, Greta assessed his features one by one, trying to decide why she was so attracted to him. He had a strong square jaw and lean cheeks with high cheekbones. His nose was a little too prominent, but added to the whole, it fit him. She decided his mouth was his best feature. His lips were perfectly shaped, not too full, not too thin, and they curved easily into a friendly smile. Yes, she liked his smile the best. And the small dimple it revealed in his left cheek.
His dark brown hair was fine and straight, but it was cut shorter than the traditional Amish bowl-style. Young men during their rumspringa, the years when they were free to try English ways and decide if they wanted to remain Amish, often adopted English hairstyles. There was nothing remotely English about his clothing. He wore dark, homemade pants, a pale blue shirt and black suspenders. Had he left his rumspringa behind or was he only dressing Amish because he was going to visit his Amish family?
Greta realized there was a lot about this young man that intrigued her, but it was unlikely that she would learn much on this short trip. She glanced toward his sister. Marianne was napping, too. She had wedged herself into the corner of the seat. Her head rested against the window glass.
Greta took off her coat and folded it into a bundle. Slipping in next to the child, Greta eased her coat beneath the girl’s cheek without waking her. She glanced over the seat back at her uncle. He had assumed the same position. She seemed to be the only one who couldn’t sleep.
Returning to her seat, she took out her needlepoint hoop and began to work. It didn’t require much concentration, but the repetitive motion helped to keep her mind off her unhappy situation. The thing she regretted most was bringing her uncle into her sisters’ lives again.
Lizzie with her delicate pregnancy did not need to be subjected to their uncle’s cruel verbal barbs. Betsy had become a fun-loving teenager. Even their oldest sister, Clara, had come out of her shell and gained the confidence to marry a man with three children. None of them deserved to be exposed to their uncle’s venom.
Greta’s one consolation was that he wouldn’t dare raise a hand to any of them as long as Duncan was in the house. The dog considered them part of his flock. He would lay down his life to defend them.
The miles rolled by as she worked, glancing occasionally at the other passengers. They all slept. Christmas remained quiet in her box. Greta was tempted to open the carton and check on her, but decided against it. There was no telling what the cat would do when she sensed freedom.
Sometime later, Greta was losing the light to work by when Arles pulled off the interstate and turned into the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant adjacent to a large truck stop. Toby sat up in the back and looked around. Marianne remained asleep, but Morris sat up, too. As if on cue, the cat began to meow softly. Arles turned around in his seat. “I’m going to get something to drink. Does anyone want anything?”
Greta shook her head, as did Toby. Arles left, closing his door softly. Toby came forward to his sister’s seat. Seeing her asleep, he handed Greta the pet carrier and gently lifted Marianne in his arms. Returning to the rear of the vehicle, he laid her down on the seat and covered her with his coat. She didn’t rouse.
Greta retrieved her coat and slipped it on. She opened the box and lifted the cat out. Toby came forward. “We should put the lead on her before we take her outside.” He spoke softly so as not to wake his sister.
“I was thinking the same thing. Can you get it from the box under the seat?”
He extracted the pink harness and cord. “If you hold her, I think I can get it on without too much trouble. Let’s hope she’s still groggy enough to be cooperative.”

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