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The SEAL's Miracle Baby
Laura Marie Altom
A Second Chance at Love?Jessie Long loved Grady Matthews, but he wanted the one thing she could never give him: a home full of kids. So they went their separate ways – Grady leaving to join the navy and Jessie staying home.But when a twister flattens their home town, Grady and Jessie find themselves together again, caring for an orphaned baby. The passion’s still there and Grady is sure they can make a life together. But, with Jessie’s tragic secret still threatening to keep them apart, Grady must convince her to trust him so they can build a new future… together.


“Come on, Grady. The statute of limitations has long expired on breakup hard feelings.”
“Says who?” He shoved an extra pillow behind his head. “From where I’m sitting, I’m still mad as hell.” He downed his second longneck and went in for a third.
Jessie had the gall to cross her arms and roll her eyes.
“You think I still shouldn’t be pissed? I asked you to marry me. You accepted.”
“Almost a decade ago!” She smacked the dresser top. “Get over it. That’s ancient history.”
“The hell it is.” He sprang from the bed, planting his hands on either side of her, pinning her in but not giving her the satisfaction of touching her. “Give me an honest reason and I’ll let it go. More than anything, I want to let this—you—go, but you’re stuck in my head.”
“Sorry.”
“I need a reason, Jess.”
She raised her chin. “You know the reason.”
“Oh, right—you don’t love me.”
“You know how much I care for you. You were my best friend. Why can’t we just go back to that?”
“No, thanks.” The friend card had long been off the table.
The SEAL’s Miracle Baby
Laura Marie Altom

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
LAURA MARIE ALTOM is a bestselling and award-winning author who has penned nearly fifty books. After college (Go, Hogs!), Laura Marie did a brief stint as an interior designer before becoming a stay-at-home mum to boy-girl twins and a bonus son. Always an avid romance reader, she knew it was time to try her hand at writing when she found herself replotting the afternoon soaps. When not immersed in her next story, Laura plays video games, tackles Mount Laundry and, of course, reads romance!
Laura loves hearing from readers at either PO Box 2074, Tulsa, OK 74101, USA, or by e-mail, balipalm@aol.com (mailto:balipalm@aol.com). Love winning fun stuff? Check out www.lauramariealtom.com (http://www.lauramariealtom.com).
This story is dedicated to the town of Moore, Oklahoma. May your skies be forevermore blue.
Contents
Cover (#ua78f1326-f533-513e-bfb5-1c6ccb894df8)
Introduction (#u5017901e-deda-5c41-b7d2-1f9b6aa09b25)
Title Page (#u1238bcf1-40e9-51f6-a8ce-b28251637536)
About the Author (#uee20ed27-cb3e-565d-96f0-1037eb22aefe)
Dedication (#u0940c3f0-2d43-51a4-8936-68d8c12d9ce7)
Chapter One (#ua2f8ae46-b239-559c-a382-d226c3e42c6c)
Chapter Two (#ue9cf44f4-028b-5138-99b0-6f96166eed52)
Chapter Three (#ub06439c1-1b89-56b8-bd15-a0350b0dd098)
Chapter Four (#uddf99bab-586b-550c-b464-b722019a17e0)
Chapter Five (#u5537364f-9b86-5858-8c64-74afa8112117)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_f2f8ce77-3990-589f-9c8f-9d326ee099d2)
For all practical purposes, Rock Bluff, Oklahoma, was gone.
Navy SEAL Grady Matthews pulled his rental sedan onto the highway’s shoulder, being careful not to hit a pink bathtub that rested on its side in a nest of debris. He lowered his window, bracing his forearm on the vehicle’s frame to take in the tragic view. The early-May tornado had been damn near a mile wide, and it had razed everything in its seventeen-mile path.
When his dad called, asking him to help rebuild their ranch, Grady thought he’d exaggerated the degree of the storm’s damage, but if anything, Ben’s description had been inadequate. Grady’s brain knew that a hundred yards down the road was where the historic Flamingo Motel should be, along with a McDonald’s, an Arby’s, the First Baptist Church and the Dairy Barn, but all of it was just gone, as if God had swept His hand over it, wiping the slate clean. Only the resulting mess wasn’t clean. It was an unfathomable pile of concrete blocks and upended church pews and— Tears stung his eyes.
He wanted to blame those tears on dust from a passing National Guard convoy, but the truth was that all he seemed capable of focusing on was the fact that the last place he’d seen Jessie, held her hand, begged her to give him another chance, had been at the Dairy Barn. They’d sat in the back booth that always caught the afternoon sun. Her honey-gold hair had come alive in the glow, and he’d reverently skimmed the crown of her head, kissing the soft waves of her hair, inhaling the simple strawberry sweetness of her shampoo, because it hadn’t been enough to just touch her—he’d needed to breathe her in.
I don’t love you, she’d said. This...us... We’re just not going to happen.
An hour later, Grady had signed his recruitment papers down at the strip mall that was now also gone.
He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that physical proof of his memories—the only thing left of him and Jessie—had been erased.
His cell rang. The caller ID read Rose Matthews.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, yourself, sweetie. Where are you? Almost to town?”
“Yeah, I’m just sort of taking it in.”
“It’s a shock. Your dad and I have had a few days to get used to...well, everything.”
“Sure...”
“I do have some good news, which is why I’m calling. You remember Jessie’s parents, don’t you? Roger and Billy Sue?”
“Yes, ma’am...” He released a long, slow exhale.
“Well, they heard we’ve been staying at the shelter, and since they have that cute little guesthouse out by their pool, they asked if your dad and I would like to stay with them until our house is done.”
Grady leaned his head back and groaned. Seriously?
“Since the guesthouse is just the one room and the bathroom, Billy Sue said she’ll put you in one of their spare bedrooms.”
And Jessie? Because he could tell all the way from his current vantage that her downtown apartment building had been another of the storm’s victims. His pulse doubled just thinking her name.
“I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but your poor Jessie’s place—”
Could this day get any worse? “She’s not mine.”
“You know what I mean. Anyway, she’s staying with her parents, too, but the more the merrier, right? I know it’ll be fun for you two kids to catch up.”
* * *
JESSIE LONG RUBBED the aching small of her back.
She’d been out here for hours, sifting through the wreckage of her apartment in the hot sun. It’d rained that morning. The air was so thick with humidity and sediments from the debris that it felt hard to breathe. For the plastic tub filled with clothes and a few pictures, was this really worth it?
She knelt, tugging a taped-together plastic spoon from beneath bricks and dirt and the stainless-steel kitchen sink.
Standing, tears welling in her eyes, she held back a sob while cradling the spoon to her chest. Of all the things she could have found, this was the most precious.
The last time she’d seen Grady had been at the Dairy Barn.
They’d shared their favorite booth in the back, and though he’d ordered Frito chili pie for them to share, neither had taken a bite. As usual, he’d gotten a spoon for her and a fork for himself, but both utensils had remained unused.
After she’d broken up with him, she’d quietly cried against his chest, but he’d pushed her away, telling her that she didn’t get to use him for anything anymore. He’d fished her favorite pink Sharpie from her purse—the one she used for doodling when she got bored in class—and drew a messy heart in the bowl of her spoon.
See this? he’d said, waving it in front of her face, then snapping it in half. This is what you did to my heart. You just broke it. Like it doesn’t mean a thing. But it does, Jess. I freakin’ love you. I gave you a ring. I wanna get married and have a big family. You and me—we’ll build a house out by the catfish pond, and every night at dusk, we’ll sit on our front porch swing, watching the kids play while the sun goes down. What’s the matter with you? Why can’t you see everything as clear as me?
Stop, she’d begged, scooting off the bench’s smooth seat. I see everything, she’d said under her breath. Mostly, that you and me and all of your big dreams are never coming true. I don’t love you.
To prove it, she’d walked away—but not before taking the pieces of that spoon as one last souvenir of what might’ve been.
* * *
THE FAMILY RANCH was worse off than Grady ever could have feared. Once again, tears stung his eyes as he absorbed the full weight of what his parents had lost.
The four-bedroom home he’d grown up in was now no longer a home, but a jumbled pile of drywall, four-by-four studs and the shredded remains of the china cabinet his mom had dusted every Saturday morning.
The barn he’d done chin-ups in to prepare for basic? Gone. The chicken coop? Flattened. His dad’s workshop? A graveyard of tractor parts and mangled sheet metal.
The wreckage went on and on. It was so bad that he couldn’t really even take it all in.
Grady had seen a lot of horrible things overseas, but even the worst didn’t compare to this. Where the hell did they even start in making this right?
Hands on his hips, he released a long, slow exhale.
Off on the horizon, he spied his dad’s truck heading his way. When that storm hit, if Ben and Rose hadn’t been in Norman at a doctor’s appointment...
His stomach cramped just thinking about it.
And where were the horses?
Two chickens sat on the underbelly of an overturned car. He didn’t recognize it as belonging to either of his parents. Who knew how far it’d traveled?
A deep sense of loss overwhelmed him. He’d come home to help rebuild, but how long would this take? His commanding officer had given him two weeks, and then he was due back on base in Virginia. Two weeks wouldn’t even clear the drive, let alone erect a house.
His dad pulled up, stopping the truck in what used to be the front yard. When he climbed out, he didn’t have to say a word to convey to Grady how low he was feeling. His shoulders were hunched and his expression grim as he stepped in for a hug. “Wish we were meeting under better circumstances.”
“You and me both. Where’s Mom?”
“With that girlfriend of hers who moved a few years back to Norman. Your momma... She needed to get away from all this.”
“Yes, sir. I understand.”
His dad patted his back. “Good to have you home, son. Real good.”
Grady wished he felt good or bad, or really just anything at all besides numb.
* * *
AN HOUR LATER, once his dad left to pick up his mom, Grady bit the bullet by showing up at Jessie’s parents’. It was gonna be awkward and awful, and he’d rather pitch a tent in the pasture, but that would only upset his mom, so he pasted on a smile and strode up the wide porch steps.
“Aren’t you a tall drink of water.” Jessie’s mom, Billy Sue, sat in one of six white rockers.
Cotton, a miniature poodle who hated everyone but Billy Sue, yapped in her arms.
“Cotton, hush.” Jessie’s dad, Roger—one of two town dentists—extended his hand. “Thank you for your service to our country.”
Grady smiled at Jessie’s mom, but not knowing what to say to the man who was the father of the only woman he’d ever loved, he just stood there like a damned fool, nodding like a bobblehead SEAL doll.
“Come on in,” Roger held open the screen door on the Southern-fried McMansion, with its two-story white columns and hanging ferns. How had this place remained as pristine as ever while his folks’ house was a pile of rubble? “At the moment, I don’t have all that much to do since my practice was blown halfway to Kansas.”
“Sorry to hear that, sir.”
He shrugged. “Way I see it, I’ve got my family and home, so I came out a-okay. It was about time to remodel anyway.”
“Let me know if I can help. Once Mom and Dad’s insurance money comes in, I’ll be out at the ranch, but until then, I don’t mind lending a hand.”
“All this excitement has stirred up my emotions, and...” As if he was choked up, the man’s voice cracked. He placed his hand on Grady’s shoulder the same way he had when lecturing him on having Jessie home by midnight after prom. “If you don’t mind my saying, Billy Sue and I both thought you would have been a fine match for our baby girl.”
“Ah, thank you, sir.” What else could he say to that? Gee, sir, I thought so, too, but your daughter had other plans? His heart galloped like a runaway horse. Was Jessie here? Was she inside? Lounging by the pool? If so, what would he say? What would she say?
“Grady—” Billy Sue trailed after them “—we’ve got the upstairs guest room all ready for you, and just as soon as your parents get back, we’ll barbecue some nice ribs, okay?”
“Thanks. Sounds great.” The whole town had crumpled around them—including her husband’s livelihood—and all she could think about was hosting a cookout? Where had she even bought the food? Swenson’s Meat Market and the grocery store had been annihilated.
In the den, while Jessie’s dad settled into his recliner to watch a golf tourney on TV, Billy Sue set down the dog, then paused in front of the back staircase, gesturing for him to follow. “Come on, I’ll show you where everything is.”
Even though he remembered the home’s layout, he trailed her up the stairs. Cotton formed the tail end of the parade, yipping the whole way.
“Jessie’s staying with us, too, you know? I’m sure she’s real excited for you to be home. Although I know for a fact, Grady Matthews, that you’ve been back for visits long before now. Why haven’t you stopped by?”
“Mom kept me busy.” Was Billy Sue kidding? Didn’t she have any idea what her daughter had put him through? And what was wrong with him that after the trials he’d faced in becoming a SEAL, Jessie still held the power to get him all tongue-tied and queasy—and she wasn’t even there. He couldn’t imagine how bad he’d feel once she actually showed up.
Billy Sue tsk-tsked. “I’m gonna have to get on to her for that. Shame on her for hogging you all for herself. Poor Jess would’ve loved to catch up.”
Enough. He stopped midway down the hall. “Mrs. Long—Billy Sue—I don’t mean to start trouble, but there’s something I need to get off my chest. Ancient history, really, but I guess it needs to be said.”
She spun her wedding band around on her ring finger. “After the week we’ve had around here, I’m not up for more bad news.”
“It’s more like old news.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “You do know your daughter broke up with me?”
Her eyes narrowed. “No. No, I don’t believe that for a second. Jess still has your prom picture in her wallet. I thought you two naturally cooled down when you joined the Navy?”
“I didn’t even enlist until—” What was the use in explaining? “Ma’am, it’s the truth.”
* * *
AFTER HER LONG DAY, there was nothing Jessie would have loved more than to jump in the pool, but as filthy as she was, she didn’t figure her dad would appreciate her clouding his water. During the storm, her mom reported that debris had rained from the sky. So much had fallen that her dad had scooped the pool floor with an extrawide snow shovel. But that was okay. More than okay, considering how much the rest of the town had suffered. They were beyond blessed to still have their home.
So why did she feel so low?
Maybe because even though her apartment hadn’t been anything special, it’d been hers, and now she had nothing to call her own. Not only was the second-grade classroom she’d been so proud to teach in gone, but the entirety of Rock Bluff Elementary School.
“There you are.” Her mom stepped out the front door.
“Hey.” Jessie pressed the autolock on her rental Ford and nodded to the black sedan parked in front of her. “Who’s here?”
“Actually, there’s a funny story that goes along with that car.”
“Mom...” Jessie wasn’t up for one of her mother’s epic sagas. She loved her dearly, but the woman talked more than she breathed. “I need a shower and a nap, and—”
“You’ll never guess who’s inside our house right at this very second.”
Jessie’s chest tightened. One of her old high school friends had told her Grady was back to help his parents. She sent up a silent prayer that whomever her mom was talking about, it wasn’t him. Anyone but him.
She was still shaky from the storm, being trapped in her building’s basement until volunteer firemen had rescued her and a few neighbors. Thank goodness school had already been done for the day. The only thing worse than what she’d already been through would have been experiencing the tornado’s fury with her students.
To see Grady now, with her looking a mess, she’d die of mortification.
“And, ladybug, you wouldn’t believe what he just told me.”
Jessie gulped. “He?”
No, no, no, this isn’t happening.
“Since Ben and Rose are staying in the guesthouse, it only makes sense that with their Grady in town, he stays here with them. And why didn’t you tell me you broke up with him? You cried for months. We didn’t think you’d be able to leave for college.”
“Please, stop exaggerating.”
“I don’t hear a denial.” Billy Sue opened the back door of Jessie’s car and took out the plastic laundry tub Jessie had filled with clothes. They were caked with drywall dust and mud, and her mom wrinkled her nose at the smell. “These jeans could get up and walk themselves.”
“I know.”
“Why didn’t you just leave them? We could make a fun weekend out of driving to Fort Worth or Dallas to find you a whole new wardrobe.”
This was all too much. The storm. Grady. Losing her apartment and school. “I don’t want new clothes, I want mine—anything to remind me that four days ago, I woke up in my own bed, ate my own cereal, drove my own car, taught in my classroom. Now I don’t have anything. It’s all just gone. I feel like I’m living in the Twilight Zone, and I need a break.”
“Honey...” Her mother slipped her arm around Jessie’s shoulders. “Don’t you see? Having Grady here will make everything better. You’ll see.”
“Oh, my God, Mom. No, it won’t. If anything, having him around will only make an already awful situation unbearable.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Grady stood on the porch, glaring at her.
Chapter Two (#ulink_8d9d2670-55ce-5377-a74f-7fe19b4299af)
“Jess...” It might sound sappy, but Grady had lost count of how many times he’d dreamed of this moment. Only, it was all wrong. For starters, Billy Sue wasn’t supposed to be there. And in his rich fantasy life, Jessie would smile as opposed to staring him down as if he’d sprouted horns.
“Grady.” Her cheeks were tearstained, white T-shirt dirt smudged and ponytail tangled, but even eight years since the last time he’d seen her, she was still the most beautiful woman in the world. And judging by her expression, she was also still not interested in anything he had to say.
“You two have fun catching up.” Billy Sue made an odd clucking noise, then bustled around the side of the house with Jessie’s clothes basket toward what Grady remembered was the laundry room door.
Now that they were alone, Grady should’ve had something intelligent to say. He didn’t.
“You look good.” She appraised him. “Healthy.”
Wow. Talk about a less-than-stellar evaluation. “You, too.”
“H-How long are you in town for?” She’d tugged a strand of hair from her ponytail and twirled it through her fingers. It was a nervous habit. One he’d watched a hundred times during University of Oklahoma football games.
“Two weeks.”
“That’s not long.” She twirled faster.
“Nope.” What could’ve only been thirty seconds stretched into a year.
“It’s good seeing you, Grady.” She hitched her thumb in the direction her mom had gone, then started to follow. “I need to help wash clothes.”
When she was gone, the sun shone dimmer.
No one in his whole life had hurt him the way she had. How many times had he told himself he hated her? He’d planned all the snide or clever things he would say when their inevitable reunion finally rolled around. Yet there it went, already come and gone, and he felt like a sixth grader ogling a high school cheerleader. What was it about her that had him trapped for all this time in her spell? How could he once and for all vanquish her from not only his mind, but his heart?
* * *
“GRADY LOOKS GOOD, doesn’t he?” Billy Sue sprayed a pretreatment solution on Jessie’s favorite jeans.
“He’s all right.” Jessie filled the utility sink with warm water, dumping in a few capfuls of detergent for her hand washables. She was so bone-deep tired that she was sure the gravity of what the next two weeks truly meant hadn’t fully sunk in.
Other than her parents, the only person she’d ever loved was Grady. What did she do with that fact?
“Still have feelings for him?” Her mother shook matted leaves from a pair of sweats and into a trash bin.
“No.”
“That why you broke things off?” Why did her mom keep pushing? It wasn’t like her to be all up in Jessie’s private business.
“If you don’t mind—” she gave a pair of socks an extrahard shake “—I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Honey...” Billy Sue blasted her with a look of parental concern. “Maybe I can help. All those years ago, I thought he left you for the Navy.”
“He did.”
“But you told him to go?”
Jessie shrugged. “I guess. Sort of. But, Mom, you know about...my situation.”
“Wait—that’s why you broke things off with him? Honey, why? Did you tell him and he was upset?”
Fighting the knot at the back of her throat, Jessie shook her head.
“He wasn’t upset?”
“I didn’t tell him.”
* * *
“BILLY SUE, I CAN’T thank you enough for this meal and—” Grady’s throat tightened when his mother’s voice cracked “—your hospitality. I’m not sure what we’d do without you and Roger.”
“Aw, it’s our pleasure.” Billy Sue and his mom shared a hug.
The early spring air held a chill, but the outdoor fireplace kept the area around the table warm. Jessie’s parents’ home had been built on the town’s only hill, which meant the pool deck’s view was expansive. On a clear night, you could just make out the Oklahoma City skyline. On this night, the National Guard’s generator-powered emergency lights securing downtown Rock Bluff punched through the dust just far enough to make it look like swirling ground fog.
Roger asked, “Grady, could you please pass the rolls?”
“Ah, sure...” He could, but that would entail looking at Jessie. Didn’t her father know how hard Grady had worked to keep his gaze focused on anything but her?
During the exchange, their fingers brushed.
Jessie released the basket so fast that it dropped. Cloverleaf rolls scattered.
Cotton darted from beneath the table to sink his teeth into one, dragging it under an azalea bush.
“Sorry,” Jessie said.
“No problem.” Grady snatched the empty basket, setting it back on the table.
“It’s a problem for me,” Roger said with a chuckle. “I really wanted another roll.”
For his mom’s sake, Grady suffered through another thirty minutes of small talk, but then he helped clear the table and made a beeline for his room, where he’d stashed the six-pack he’d picked up from the lone surviving liquor store. It’d been a madhouse, and Grady couldn’t say he blamed folks for wanting to drown their sorrows in a bottle.
He’d managed a whole five minutes of nursing a beer while studying the manual on the new dive computer he’d soon be using when someone knocked on his door.
“Come in,” he hollered.
Only after Jessie entered, closing the door behind her, did he get the bright idea that he should’ve faked sleeping. A fact that shamed him back to grade school. The guys on his SEAL team would laugh their asses off to see how pathetic just a few hours spent around her had made him. Hell, on base, the guys called him Sheikh, on account of him having a virtual harem of women trying to get his ring on their fingers. What his friends didn’t know was that Grady hadn’t wanted any of them.
Jessie was his only girl.
He downed the rest of his beer and opened another.
“We need to talk.”
“I’m sleeping.”
“Don’t be stupid.” She hefted herself up to sit on the low, sturdy oak dresser. Not a good thing, considering she wore a denim miniskirt and tank top. When she crossed her legs, he caught a peek of yellow panties.
He took another drink, then covered his fly with his binder.
“All right.” She tucked her long, distractingly gorgeous blond hair behind her ears. “So this whole setup pretty much sucks for both of us, but let’s cut the tension and get through it like adults.”
“How?” Especially when that tank’s hugging your curves like paint and I remember you riding me with that hair of yours hanging all loose and wild?
“Come on, Grady. The statute of limitations has long expired on breakup hard feelings.”
“Says who?” He shoved an extra pillow behind his head. “From where I’m sitting, I’m still mad as hell.” He downed his second longneck and went in for a third.
She had the gall to cross her arms and roll her eyes.
“You think I shouldn’t still be pissed? I asked you to marry me. You accepted.”
“Almost a decade ago!” She smacked the dresser top. “Get over it. That’s ancient history.”
“The hell it is.” He sprang from the bed, planting his hands on either side of her, pinning her in, but not touching her—not giving her the satisfaction of him touching her. “Give me an honest reason, and I’ll let it go. More than anything, I want to let this—you—go, but you’re stuck in my head.”
“Sorry.”
“I need a reason, Jess.”
She raised her chin. “You know the reason.”
“Oh, right—you don’t love me.”
“Of course not. It’s been forever since I’ve even seen you. You’re a stranger. I’m happy without you.”
“Which is why your eyes are dilated and you can’t stop licking your lips?”
“I need ChapStick.”
“What was up with the leg crossing? You must’ve flashed me those pretty yellow panties a half-dozen times.”
“Oh, my God, since when did you become such a perv?”
“What’s perverted about me being a trained observer?” His gaze zeroed in on the erratic pulse in her throat. He tipped his beer to her. “Consider it a sign that your tax dollars are hard at work.”
“You know what I mean...” Her eyes pooled with tears as she pulled in a deep breath.
“Damn straight, I do. But tell me, Jess, if you’re so happy, why aren’t you married with four kids, so no one has to ride alone on roller coasters? Isn’t that what you always wanted? What we wanted?”
Her expression hardened. “Don’t go there.”
“Why not?”
“You’re an ass.”
He shrugged.
Yes, he was. But she’d hurt him so damned bad. Up until joining the Navy, all he’d ever wanted was to buy his own ranch, marry Jessie and start their family. He’d never sought wealth or glory—she was all he’d ever wanted. And that fact killed him. Hell, he’d been back in town less than twenty-four hours and already he felt crazy. It was downright embarrassing.
“What do you want from me?” she asked.
Everything. But mostly, the truth. “All I want is for you to finally be straight with me. Why did you break things off? I get it if you thought we were too young, or you fell for someone else, or I just didn’t do it for you in the sack, but this is a small town. Folks talk. My own mother has told me you’ve never been serious with another guy.”
“Just like you’ve never been serious with another girl?”
“Exactly. I’m the logical sort. Every day I deal with black-and-white facts. Look at us—we have jobs, all our teeth. Why haven’t we moved on? Haven’t you ever asked yourself that question?”
She looked away. “No.”
Sighing, he took a step back, holding up his hands in surrender. “Fine. If that’s how you want to play it.”
“Grady...”
“What?”
“You know how much I care for you. You were my best friend. Why can’t we just go back to that?”
“No, thanks.” The friend card had long been off the table. Didn’t she remember all those lazy summer days down by the creek? He’d kissed every inch of her, and it wasn’t just his ego telling him she’d liked it. “For the sake of our parents, I’ll be polite, but you can’t go back in time and erase what we shared. I’ve been with other women since, and it wasn’t the same.”
She paled. “Gee, thanks. Good to know you’ve slept around.”
“Can you honestly tell me you haven’t?”
Again, she avoided his gaze. “You don’t have to make it sound so dirty, but yes. I—I’ve had a few other committed relationships that turned physical—if that’s what you mean.”
“And...” He urged her to get to the heart of the matter. Had she shared a fraction of the chemistry with those other guys as she had with him? Obviously not, or she’d be with one of them now. “True love?”
“I’m not even dignifying that with an answer.”
“In other words, business as usual?”
“What’s wrong with you?” Eyes narrowed, she drew in her lower lip. “You never used to be this cruel.”
“I’m not cruel, Jess, but direct. There’s a difference.”
“Semantics...”
“So, in summary, you want me to buck up and play nice?”
“Would that be so hard?”
More like impossible.
He rubbed his jaw, searching for the right thing to say when all he wanted was for her to tell him the truth. That day in the Dairy Barn that no longer existed, there’d been so much more to their story. There still was. Only, for whatever reason, she’d refused to end it. Oh—she’d verbally ended it. But in his heart—where it mattered—he couldn’t help but feel as though they still had a long way to go before he, at least, found closure.
Chapter Three (#ulink_91e167bd-1858-565a-a07e-0cae451b2abe)
“I know this is tough, everyone.” The next morning, Jessie’s school principal looked strangely out of character in his plaid shorts, Rock Bluff Elementary T-shirt, ball cap and sneakers. “But again, I need you to sift through this rubble for anything salvageable. Our budget is nil, so every pencil and pair of scissors counts. I fear most textbooks will be water damaged, but maybe a few made it out all right. Questions?”
When no one seemed unclear as to their mission, they got to work.
For safety reasons, no students were invited to help, but many faculty members and parents who lived out of the storm’s path and whose homes were unaffected had come out to lend a hand.
Though the work was hot and messy and mostly unproductive, it did get Jessie away from her depressing apartment wreckage and her parents’ house—or, more to the point, away from Grady.
Some of the things he’d said had been horrible. The only reason she hadn’t lashed out at him had been the knowledge that her lies had created his animosity. Meaning she essentially had no one to blame for his derision but herself.
She remembered every second of their time together. Above all, she cherished the moments after they’d made love, when he’d held her warm and secure in his arms. They’d talked for hours about their shared future. Neither had had college aspirations. They’d both wanted to lead simple, happy country lives like those of their parents.
She knelt to pick up the tin-can pencil holder one of her favorite students had made for her. Paul was now in fifth grade. It made her heart ache to think the only children she’d ever have were her students, but that was okay. At least she was lucky enough to have a career she loved, where every day other people shared their smart, cute and funny kids with her.
“Your mom said I’d find you here.” Grady stood near what used to be her students’ cozy reading nook. He wore desert-camo cargo pants, heavy work boots and a blue Navy T-shirt that made his chest look broad enough to need its own zip code. She instantly yearned to touch him, which only made her resent his presence more.
“This is where I work,” she snapped, “or at least it used to be. I can’t argue with you.”
“Who said I wanted to argue?”
“Then, why are you here?”
He shrugged, then shoved one hand into his pocket and took a sip from a jumbo drink from Ron’s Hamburgers. It was strange how the storm had played God—selecting who got to keep their lives and who had to start over. Maude Clayborn—the owner of the burger joint—had drawn the lucky straw. Knowing Grady like she did, Jessie suspected he was drinking sweet tea. “Partially, I’m here because my mom made me. Mostly, because I owe you an apology for last night.”
No, no, no, her heart cried. Don’t you dare be nice to me. Hating you is much easier than the alternative.
“You’re right, I was an ass, but you have to admit to leaving me in the lurch. You even kept my damned ring. That thing cost three summers’ lawn-mowing money. Do you even still have it? Or did you pawn it?”
The very idea incensed her. “Of course I have it—somewhere.” I wear it on a chain every day to remind me to never settle for anything less than real love. It was on now, dangling between her breasts.
“Great. Then, I want it back.”
“You can’t be serious. And anyway, the ring might be lost.”
He laughed—only the sound struck her as more dangerous than jovial. “Oh—I’m as serious as getting an STD on your birthday.”
Her eyes widened in horror. “Did you? You know, get one of those...on your—”
“Good Lord, Jess, it’s just an expression.”
She nodded. Of course. But with him being a Navy SEAL and better looking than any man had a right to be, she didn’t doubt him having a girl in every port.
“And don’t try changing the topic. If my ring’s lost—find it. Since you don’t want me, maybe I’ll give it to some other woman.”
Over my dead body. “Okay, but obviously I don’t have it with me now.”
“Fine. Just don’t forget.” He surveyed the mess, then sipped from his drink. “What do you need me to do?”
Leave! Unfortunately, if she wanted to finish this task by Christmas, she needed his help. “There’s a pile of plastic sacks over there on my file cabinet. Grab one and start picking up anything of value.”
* * *
GRADY WOULD BE damned if he’d let anyone at that school work harder than him. By the end of the day, he’d filled dozens of sacks with pencils and crayons and heartbreaking little school pics with scribbled notes on the backs.
The work was hot and dirty and he felt as though dust had settled into every pore.
Jessie’s shoulders sagged, and the ponytail that had earlier that day shone in the sun now hung limp and coated in the same gray dust covering their bodies and clothes.
If she were still his girl, once they got home he’d have carried her to their shower, then scrubbed her down till her skin shone pink. Then he’d run her a bath, squirting in a healthy amount of the strawberry bubbles she’d always loved. Next, he’d have settled in alongside her, kissing her till the sun went down and the water turned cold. He’d fix her a simple dinner. Maybe steaks on the grill. He’d rub her aching feet and make love to her before they spooned into sleep.
They’d have the best night, every night.
But all of that was just a dream. And even though he could have kept on working for another twelve hours, he knew she couldn’t, so he said, “How about we head back to your folks’? See what our moms cooked for dinner?”
She arched her head back, in the process showing him the mesmerizing curve of her neck. “Sounds like a plan.”
On their way to drop off the last of their day’s finds in the principal’s truck bed, she said, “Thank you.”
“You bet.”
“Considering we’re sharing the hall bathroom now, how about you shower first since you filled the most bags?”
“No way. I appreciate the offer, but ladies first. You look like hell.”
“You’re such a charmer.”
“I try.”
She cast him a go-to-hell glare. “Not hard enough.”
* * *
BACK AT HER parents’ house, standing beneath the shower’s warm stream, Jessie closed her eyes, wishing it wasn’t Grady’s gorgeous profile her mind’s eye chose to see.
While sudsing her arms and legs and breasts, it was his hands she imagined stroking her. His ring dangled, teasing her with thoughts of what might’ve been.
Because thinking about him hurt, she hurried to finish scrubbing the last of the day’s grime from her hair, already dreading the task of doing the same thing all over again tomorrow.
Finished, she wrapped her hair turban-style with a towel, cinched her robe tight at the waist, then knocked on Grady’s bedroom door to tell him it was his turn in the bathroom.
His door wasn’t all the way latched, and it creaked open.
Nothing could’ve prepared her for the sight of him lying flat on the bed—naked, dirt smudged, but 100 percent glorious manly muscle. Though the proper thing to do would be to close his door, then dress herself for dinner; instead, she indulged in a long visual feast. He wasn’t body-builder bulked up, but his broad shoulders had definition. His biceps looked far too big for her to fit her hand around, and his six-pack abs and lower, well...
She closed his door, granting him privacy while she ducked into her own room.
Stretched across her bed, cheeks superheated, she remembered all too clearly the times they’d skinny-dipped in the creek, when he’d held her on hot summer days in the cool, clear water. She’d wrapped her legs around him and together, they’d discovered just how well their bodies fit together.
The first couple times had been awkward—lots of giggling and fumbling with condoms. After they’d gotten the hang of it, she’d tired of having anything between them. Unknown to him or her mom, she’d made an appointment with a Norman doctor to get on the pill. It was there she’d described how painful her monthly cycles had always been. When the medicine the doctor prescribed didn’t even dull her cramps, Dr. Laramie suggested Jessie undergo a laparoscopic exploratory procedure to check for potential causes of the pain. When Jessie’s mom wanted to know why she hadn’t told her about seeing a doctor, Jessie hadn’t exactly lied—she just hadn’t told the entire truth. When the doctor prescribed birth control pills as a way to regulate her periods and control pain, her mother hadn’t given it a second thought—or, if she had, she hadn’t mentioned it to her daughter.
When the diagnosis of endometriosis had finally come, and along with it, a speech on how she would most likely never conceive considering the severity of her condition, at first, Jessie hadn’t believed it. Then, when her mom had broached the topic one day at lunch, sharing her concerns, encouraging her to go on with her life and talking about how many alternatives there were to natural pregnancies, only then did it start to sink in that the doctor’s words had consequences.
In hindsight, she probably should’ve told Grady, but honestly? She couldn’t have handled his rejection had he said the wrong thing. She hadn’t been mature enough. She wasn’t sure she was now—not that it mattered, since she still had no intention of ever telling him the true reason she’d broken their engagement.
She couldn’t speak for his parents, but her own had been relieved when what they’d called her high school fling had cooled down. They’d dreamed of her completing college—not her dream, theirs. She’d been the dutiful daughter, and in the end had never regretted earning her degree. What had she regretted? Not being able to share her graduation with Grady. Or the high of getting her first job. Her first apartment. Her first legal beer. So many, many firsts that had been happy enough, but not nearly complete without him.
Since he’d gone, she’d felt as if her life had been lived with the sun filtered. And that had been hard, but by no means insurmountable. Way worse tragedies had been survived. Just like Rock Bluff would rebuild after the tornado, so would she.
Jessie blow-dried her hair, and when she heard the shower turn on wished her mind wasn’t flooded with images of Grady’s ripped, naked body.
She took extra care with her hair and makeup and instead of putting on yoga pants and a T-shirt, she chose a yellow sundress and sandals. Even though Grady had demanded she return his ring, it still hung safely hidden, where it would stay until she was good and ready to take it off. Maybe that day would come, maybe it wouldn’t. Who knew what the future held?
All she did know was that for now, that ring had become a symbol of the dreams she still had for her life, and a promise to never settle for anything less than the magic she and Grady had once shared.
* * *
GRADY LOOKED UP from his poolside lounge chair and had to remind himself to close his mouth. “You cleaned up all right.”
“There you go again with that charm.” Instead of smiling for him, Jessie scowled. He couldn’t say he blamed her. Out of all the things he could’ve said, why had that come out?
“Yeah, well...” He downed his beer, thankful he’d grabbed another couple of six-packs on his way home from Jessie’s school. “I meant that you look good.”
Billy Sue and his mom had set the table, but neither of the women or their husbands had joined them outside yet. Candles and tiki torches had been lit, and the sunset was a spectacular tribute to the power of life moving on.
If it hadn’t been for the ocean of devastation spread before them, he might’ve envisioned they were on a date at a swanky seaside hotel.
“Feel good about what we found today?” The question was as lame as everything else he’d done around her lately, but at least it wasn’t in any way confrontational.
She nodded. “I’d hoped to find more books without water damage, but considering how much rain fell not just during the storm but since, it’s a miracle any survived.”
“Sorry.” He hated seeing her sad.
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not, but...”
“I get it.” The situation was what it was. In time, the town would be rebuilt, Jessie’s classroom reimagined in a new location. The loss was overwhelming, but thankfully, very few lives had been lost—most on the highway where travelers hadn’t had time to seek shelter.
“Wonder where everyone is?”
“Am I not company enough?” He’d meant his question to be light, but somewhere his joking tone got lost in translation.
Her smile was slow, but once she’d fully abandoned herself to the gesture, he was lost. The setting sun transformed her golden hair into a halo and he stilled just to drink her in. Warm, brown eyes and a slight build that’d felt so damned good against him. He could’ve held her forever—had always thought he would. But for them, forever hadn’t lasted. And now, in two weeks’ time, he would leave again.
Gazing upon her now, he selfishly wished he’d been away on a mission when his parents’ call for help had come. Because he’d been far better off with Jessie out of his life. Now he feared never wanting to let her go—but the craziest part about that was she’d never really been his.
* * *
AFTER DINNER, JESSIE hightailed it to her room.
The guys were engrossed in an old Clint Eastwood Western, and her mother and Rose were playing cards.
Once again being seated alongside Grady for dinner had been painful. He’d smelled so good—of manly soap and a delicious citrus aftershave. Instead of eating her mother’s lasagna, she’d wanted to gobble him.
When someone knocked on her door, her pulse raced.
Her mother poked her head through the door, sending Jessie’s spirits into a downward spiral. “Ladybug, I know you’ve had a busy day, so I hate doing this, but I need you to drive into Norman.”
“Norman?” Even without traffic, it was a good twenty-minute trip. Weaving through all the cordoned-off roads and debris piles would make it thirty to forty minutes. “Why?”
Her mom clutched her chest. “I’m having awful heartburn, and the only thing that’ll help is that special almond milk I like, but you know the only place to get it is at that fancy health food store. Oh—and take my car. With all the debris, I want you to have four-wheel drive.”
“Mom...is that store even open? And you know I don’t like driving after dark. I have TUMS. Let me grab you some, and I promise to run to the store first thing in the morning.”
Still clutching her chest, Billy Sue winced. “Oh—I called, and the store’s open till ten. Plus, I already thought about your poor night vision. Grady’s driving. He sees perfectly at night—well, he’d pretty much have to with all of that covert, black-op activity he’s involved in. Very exciting, huh?”
Grady ambled down the hall in their direction. “Just grabbing my wallet, Mrs. Long, then I’m good to go.”
“Mom!” Jessie whispered under her breath while Grady was in his room. “You don’t have heartburn. This is some wacky setup attempt to get me and Grady to spend time together, isn’t it?”
Billy Sue gasped. “Jessie Anne, that’s insulting. Why would I manipulate my own daughter?”
Oh, Jessie could think of any number of reasons, but recognized the futility of bringing them up now.
Back to clutching her chest, Billy Sue cried, “The pain’s so bad. Ladybug, you have to go. You know how hard my almond milk is to find. Grady’s going to need your help.”
Jessie rolled her eyes. “All right, Mom, calm down. We’re going.”
When Grady emerged from his room, Billy Sue miraculously recovered long enough to fish her car keys and a twenty from her bra. “Here, take these!” She jingled the keys and money at him.
The sound was Cotton’s signal that it was time for a car ride, and he danced at Billy Sue’s feet.
“Mom!” Beyond mortified, Jessie snatched the bulging OU key ring—not the money—then wiped it off on her dress. “Gross!”
Her mother clutched her chest. “The pain! It’s so bad!”
Jessie took Grady by his arm, dragging him from the nuthouse formerly known as her childhood home.
Outside, she said, “Sorry about this. I’m ninety-nine percent sure this is a misguided matchmaking attempt, but there is that sliver of possibility that Mom’s really sick.”
“How about the fact that you have trouble driving after dark? Another fib?”
She wrinkled her nose, then held out the keys. “Unfortunately, no. Are you okay to drive Mom’s SUV?”
“Sure—although for the record, I’ve driven smaller tanks.” He took the keys, pressed the keyless remote, then opened her door. “And don’t sweat the whole matchmaking thing. I had the same thought when my mom told me the dire nature of the situation.”
“What tipped you off?”
“The fact that the whole time your mom stood in the middle of the family room, moaning and clutching her chest, your father’s only reaction was to turn up the TV. Cotton didn’t even wake up until Billy Sue headed upstairs.”
“I really am sorry.” Jessie climbed in alongside him. She’d ridden beside her mother a hundred times, but with Grady behind the wheel, everything changed. The vehicle usually seemed roomy—but his mere presence, and their past, loomed between them as if a third person sat in the middle.
“Don’t be.”
“Why not? Now that I think about it, I’m more than a little miffed that Mom would pull a stunt like this.”
“Seriously—” he backed out of the driveway, then hit the neighborhood road “—don’t sweat it.” He lowered his window.
She welcomed the breeze. Fresh air had never hurt a situation.
“Let’s just get this over with.”
Now Jessie needed an antacid. Grady’s clipped tone alerted her to the fact that for him, there was no statute of limitations on hurt feelings. She’d hoped to at least pass the time with small talk, but it looked as though the only thing small in this car was Grady’s capacity for forgiveness.
Chapter Four (#ulink_8f17e72b-6047-57ae-950b-1c0350765051)
Grady was none too happy to find himself alone with Jessie. Even if the SUV her mom used for the day care smelled like a cross between Cheerios and crayons, Jessie’s faint strawberry lotion wreathed him in familiar scent. The fact that after all these years he still remembered that sort of detail about her only made his heart ache more.
Trying to play it cool, as if being next to her wasn’t killing him—he focused on driving along the five-mile stretch of blacktop country lane.
“How do you—”
“I take it—”
When they both talked at the same time, they laughed. For that instant, laughter was a good icebreaker, and loosened the knot between his shoulders. But then he remembered who he was dealing with—the woman who’d broken his heart. The returning tension hit like a two-by-four.
“You go first.” Jessie angled on her seat. “What were you about to say?”
“Judging by the car, and the Toddler Time logo on the doors, your mom still runs her day care?”
“Yep. Can you believe she’s also mayor?”
“Mom told me. How did that even happen?” As long as he’d been alive, the Rock Bluff political climate had been more of an old boys’ club. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for her, but was surprised.”
“Oh—I know. She ran on a lark. Her gardening club got bees in their bonnets about the old mayor—remember Fred Holscomb?”
“Sure. He’d been in office for, what? Like fifteen years?”
“Yep. Well, Mom’s club went before the city council with a proposal to beautify downtown—you know, adding things like hanging baskets of petunias to light posts and parking a few ornamental trees in fancy planters.”
“Sounds doable.”
“That’s what her club thought—especially since they’d raised the funding to make it happen. So they’re at the meeting, and all the ladies brought in cookies and brownies and Opal Mayville’s famous lemon bars for the council, when Fred starts spouting about what a pain his wife’s front porch flowers are, and how he gets sick of watering, and how, come August, everything’s just gonna burn up and die in the heat, so why even bother trying to plant anything? If it were up to him, the world would be a much better place covered in nice, low-maintenance concrete.”
“He really said that right in front of your mom?” Turning onto Old Barnsdale Road, Grady winced at the thought of the female wrath that opinion had no doubt raised.
“Yes, he did. Well, the meetings are televised on the new public-access channel a couple of high school kids put together, and the way Mom laid into him was epic. When he tossed out the challenge that if she thought she could do a better job as mayor, he’d darn well like seeing her try, she took him up on his offer and never looked back. Last November, after the garden club and quilting club and just about every other women’s group you can think of adopted her campaign, then voted in record numbers, she won in a landslide.”
“Damn...” On the main highway, Grady dodged debris piles. “Good for her. How’s she doing?”
“She’s holding her own.” Jessie’s tone held a note of pride. “For the first time since Carter was president, Rock Bluff has a balanced budget, and the firemen and police are thrilled with the change, because they never run out of baked goods for their break rooms.”
“Nice.” In the heart of the storm’s devastation, National Guard floodlights lit the way for dozer operators to work through the night. “So how does she have time for matchmaking and running her town and business?”
Jessie laughed. “Great question.”
They passed through the worst-hit area in somber silence. It went unsaid that the downtown that Billy Sue had wanted to beautify was no longer there.
Even this late at night I-35 traffic crawled, as it had been closed on both sides down to just one lane. Overturned cars had been moved onto the shoulders, and looked as if a giant had been playing Matchbox and thrown a tantrum. The headlights sparked on bits of tempered windshield glass littering the road.
“I still can’t believe this happened,” Jessie said. “In my dreams, everything’s back to normal, but then I wake and this nightmare is real.”
“Might take a while, but things’ll get better.”
“I know.”
His heart shattered when a glance her way showed her eyes shining with unshed tears. A fierce longing shot through him. He wanted to hold her, to promise everything would eventually be okay. He wanted to skim her soft hair back from her forehead, then kiss her lips and nose and cheeks, comforting her, reassuring her, loving her the way he used to when she’d bombed a test or gotten a flat tire. Never had he been more keenly aware of the fact that the old saying about not knowing what you’ve got until it’s gone was true.
They may have passed through the storm damage and now rode on a debris-free interstate heading north to Norman, but the personal wreckage between them spanned not miles, but time—nearly a decade. But no matter how much he wished to turn back those years, the Navy had hardened him, taught him to stay focused on reality. The here and now. And the reality of their whole, sad saga was that it was over.
His mind understood that fact.
The pain crushing his chest did not.
Away from her, it had been all too easy to compartmentalize what they’d once shared, to shove it into a dark corner, never seen by the light of day. Now, sitting her next to her, every so often catching whiffs of her strawberry lotion, made pretending she lived on a different planet kind of hard.
“Is being a SEAL everything it’s hyped up to be?” she asked. “Are you always trudging through swamps, carrying tons of equipment on your head?”
“Sometimes.” He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, glad for the opportunity to think about anything but his still-fierce attraction to her. “Depends on the mission. There was this one time when my team was hunting down a not-so-nice guy in a not-so-nice place I’m not allowed to mention when me and my friend Cooper drew the short straw and got stuck doing surveillance from a river. We breathed through snorkels and were only above water from our eyes up. We must’ve knelt on that muddy bottom for five or six hours when a snake passed by that was as big around as my thigh. Coop and I just froze. Like Indiana Jones, I can handle just about anything but snakes. Man, my heart beat so hard, it wouldn’t have surprised me had the bad guys heard it up in their camp.”
Jessie blanched. “That’s awful. Remember the time that cottonmouth chased us out of your dad’s catfish pond?”
“Yeah. Thanks for reminding me.” Grady shuddered. “I especially recall the part where you jumped on my back and let me do all the running.”
Her sly, sideways grin did funny things to his stomach. “Sorry, but you have tougher skin than me. Plus, you had on jeans and I was only in cut-offs and a bikini top.”
His recollection of that particular view made him instantly hard.
Mouth dry, body wanting what he could never again have, Grady returned his attention to driving instead of remembering how they’d laughingly retreated to his old tree house, where he’d untied her top, and helped her out of her shorts.
As if she remembered, too, she turned from him to stare out her window. “That mean old snake’s probably still there.”
“Probably.” Along with the remains of what we once shared.
* * *
“SOMETIMES I’D REALLY love to shake my mother...” By the time Grady parked the SUV in front of the health food store that had closed two hours earlier, Jessie’s nerves were shattered. She’d tried keeping conversation casual, but every topic led to times they’d spent together. “I knew this would happen, and I feel like a fool for not just calling myself to check the store hours.”
“Yeah.”
Yeah? Did that mean he agreed with her that she should have called? Nice. Too bad he hadn’t always been this much of a charmer, or she never would have fallen for him.
They left Norman’s quiet streets to rejoin the interstate’s ever-present bustle.
Despite being surrounded by so many people in all the passing cars, Jessie couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt more alone. Grady was right there—close enough that if she wanted to, she could reach out and touch him, skimming his strong, tan forearm. Or entwine their fingers. The knowledge that she would never again experience that sweet, simple pleasure of holding his hand ruined her. The pain collected at the back of her throat, closing off her air and stinging her eyes.
When her cell rang with her mother’s familiar cheery tone, Jessie was so flustered by the weight of her and Grady’s shared past that she struggled to even find her phone. “Hello?”
“I need you to do another favor for me.”
“Mom...”
“No, this time it’s serious.” By the time her mother finished relaying the situation, guilt consumed Jessie for thinking she held the world record for heartache.
After disconnecting, she cradled the phone to her chest.
“Let me guess,” Grady said. “She needs us to run another errand?”
“Yes, but you’re not going to believe this... We need to drop by the Rock Bluff police station to pick up a baby.”
“Wait—a baby?”
“You heard right. Crazy, huh? I guess the poor little thing was found in a field by the highway. It’s a miracle she’s even alive.”
“Why’d they call your mom?”
“Because of the day care. She’s a registered foster parent, and occasionally takes temporary custody of really young kids who are in rough situations—she even has a nursery set up at the house. Police told her they expect to run through the few license plates in the immediate area where the infant was found, and will most likely find her family within hours. Mom needs us to get the baby, because we have the car seat.”
“Ah...” He took the Rock Bluff exit. “Makes sense.”
Jessie alternately dreaded and anticipated claiming the infant for even a short while. Though she’d long since come to terms with her own childless situation, that didn’t make it easier to bear when parents of her second graders brought baby brothers or sisters to Open House or parent/teacher conference nights.
In under ten minutes, Grady parked the vehicle in the chaotic police station lot. A makeshift volunteer camp had been set up in the adjoining empty field, and a tent city flattened the formerly tall grass.
Jessie didn’t wait for Grady to open her door as she once would have. Even if urgency hadn’t propelled her forward at a frenetic pace, they were no longer on terms where she’d have expected—or even wanted—him to pour on any level of courtesy or charm.
The station’s lobby was even more of a mob scene than the parking area, but she spotted their mutual friend Allen, who had married her good friend Cornelia—aka Corny, Corn Dog or Corn Nut—and headed his way.
Jessie sensed Grady behind her, and walked faster through the crowd in a failed attempt to make the humming awareness stop.
“Holy shit,” Allen said upon catching sight of his old football buddy. They gave each other slapping bro hugs. “Wish you were here under better circumstances, but it’s good seeing you, man.”
“Likewise.”
“I didn’t figure we’d see the whites of your eyes till Thanksgiving.”
“I hadn’t planned on being here,” Grady said. “But once Mom and Dad told me about the ranch, I had to come.”
“I understand.”
While the men caught up, it was clear to Jessie that they regularly stayed in touch. That hurt. How could Cornelia have kept that information from her? Had Grady been to their house? Sat on the same sofa as her? Jessie’s mind should be focused on the task at hand, but that was hard, considering her current level of betrayal. Who else in town had hung out with Grady and wasn’t talking?
“I imagine you’re here about the baby,” Allen said, leading them out of the lobby’s bustle to the break room. “Crazy to think that out of all this wreckage, this little sweetheart survived without a scratch.”
The guys had made a corner nest for her out of faded, neatly folded quilts that the local churches had donated to the jail.
“Oh, my gosh...” Jessie’s heart nearly broke. “She’s so tiny.”
The blond-haired, blue-eyed cherub couldn’t have been over two months old, and mud crusted her fuzzy pink PJs. Someone had been thoughtful enough to wash her face and hands, but her curls still held dirt and grass.
Jessie scooped the sleeping infant into her arms, cradling her against her chest. “The girl’s parents must be frantic.”
“I know, right?” Allen shook his head. “The thing is, out of all the missing persons’ files we’re working, none of them involve an infant. The chief’s guessing her folks must have been among those injured on the highway, and that they were taken to an outlying area hospital. We’ll run her DNA to have matched against the deceased in the morning. If you and your mom don’t mind caring for her until we find them, it’d sure ease our minds, knowing this little lady’s in good care.”
“Of course,” Jessie said, smoothing the infant’s matted curls. “We’ll be happy to keep her for as long as it takes you to find her true home.”
* * *
AFTER BUCKLING THE baby into the safety seat, Grady climbed behind the SUV’s wheel. Jessie rode in back, alongside their tiny new passenger.
Watching Jessie dote on the infant did crazy things to his insides. All at once, he was furious and sad and filled with resentment. How dare she deny him his own long-held dreams of becoming a dad? Of course, the moment that thought hit his head, he knew it was crazy, but sometimes that was exactly how he felt. Had he and Jessie married out of high school, like Allen and Cornelia, they’d already have school-aged kids. The notion incensed him—just how fast his life was passing by. On the surface, he was happy enough. But peel back his carefully shrouded emotional layers and he was a freaking disaster. Which was why, aside from holidays, he avoided Rock Bluff and all of its inhabitants, who reminded him of what he’d lost.
Back at the house, the women fussed and cooed, bathing the infant and dressing her in fresh-smelling, soft pink clothes. A pediatrician friend of Billy Sue’s stopped by, and pronounced the baby to be in remarkably good condition. Through it all, the exhausted tiny creature slept, blissfully unaware of how frightened she might be upon waking to find herself surrounded by strangers.
Grady wanted to join in the spectacle of adoring this miracle, but he’d been shut out. Not deliberately, but the fact that they assumed he knew nothing about babies, coupled with the sad truth that Jessie hadn’t even made eye contact with him since they’d returned to her parents’, told him loud and clear where he stood—on the outside, forever looking in.
Tired of lurking in the hall, hovering in the shadows just outside the nursery, Grady made his way downstairs to join his father and Roger in watching an old John Wayne war movie.
“How’s it going up there?” his dad asked during a commercial.
“Good,” Grady said. “They’ve got things under control.” Which was a damn sight more than he could say for himself. The sight of Jessie holding a stranger’s baby had triggered something in him that his knotted stomach refused to let go of.
His dad noted, “Your mom and I sure were hoping to get a grandkid or two out of you by now.”
“Before this whole mess with the twister,” Roger piped in, “Billy Sue and I were just talking about that same thing. We’re not getting any younger.”
“I could use a beer,” Grady said. “You guys want one, too?”
“You bet.” Roger shifted on his recliner. “And if you don’t mind, bring my pretzels from the pantry—and that horseradish cheese dip Billy Sue hides on the lower shelf of the fridge. Look way in the back.”
“Will do.” Grady was relieved his stab at changing the subject had been a success.
Rummaging in someone else’s pantry and refrigerator struck him as just about as uncomfortable as the whole grandkid speech. Come to think of it, since he’d stepped foot back in town, not a lot had been comfortable—except for those fleeting moments of shared laughter between him and Jessie in her mother’s car.
From upstairs he could hear the faint sound of infant whimpers, and then a full-on wail.
Cotton added excited yipping to the mix.
Arms full, Grady returned to the family room.
“On second thought—” Roger aimed his remote at the TV to notch up the volume to cover the baby’s cries “—Ben, maybe the last things we need are grandkids.”
“Maybe so,” his dad said, while, on the TV, John Wayne drew his gun.
With both older men engrossed in the movie, Grady took his beer and meandered out to the shadowy pool deck.
More power had been restored to the outlying areas affected by the storm, but the swath of greatest destruction was still dark.
The screen door creaked open and then banged shut.
Grady looked over to witness Jessie dart from the house.
In the low light, she couldn’t see him watching her as she retreated to a bench-seat covered swing. When she then started crying, Grady found himself in the unfamiliar territory of being unsure what to do. Since the day he’d earned his SEAL Trident, it had been drilled into him to make swift, fact-based decisions, but nowhere in any drill or manual had a situation like this been covered. Since Jessie had broken things off with him, his experience with women had resided solely in the realm of the temporary. Things were fun while they lasted, but the moment he was called out on his next mission, he cut things off with clinical precision. There were no hurt feelings, because he’d been clear from the start that whatever was shared was purely physical.
He might be brave in gunfire, but when it came to surrendering his heart? Forget it. Jessie had assured he would never love again.
Lord, he wanted to go to her, drawing her into his arms—not just to stop her tears, but figure out the reason behind them. But what good would that do? They were no longer friends any more than they were lovers. They were nothing. Strangers who’d happened to meet under difficult circumstances.
In stealth mode, using the shadows to his advantage, he crept from her line of sight.
But before retreating around the backside of the house, he made the mistake of taking one last look at her defeated form.
She sat sideways on the swing and hugged her knees to her chest. Moonlight shone in her teary eyes. The effort it took to stop from running to her damn near killed him. But for his own self-preservation—hell, self-respect—he had to avoid her like poison. Because to him, to his ego, to his carefully walled-off emotions, that was exactly what she was.
Chapter Five (#ulink_251f9d4f-7347-5743-b7fc-8d0b56a2ce46)
Jessie raised the hem of the old high school softball T-shirt she’d changed into to dry her eyes. Crying about not having a baby wasn’t going to get her one, and those extra few tears shed over what might’ve been with Grady were just plain wrong. He wasn’t even worth her tears. He was a cocky cowboy-turned-SEAL who never would have settled for a broken mess like her.
She forced a deep breath and pulled herself together.
Before Grady’s arrival, she’d never been prone to crying jags—although, to be fair, she also hadn’t dealt with her entire town and life being blown to smithereens.
A coyote’s lonesome howl summed up her feelings.
“I hear ya, bud.”
Back in the house, the TV erupted with a WWII battle. From upstairs came the baby’s now frantic cries.
Jessie wandered into the laundry room for peace, only to encounter Grady sneaking through the back door.
She jumped. “Jeez! I didn’t even know you were outside.”
He shrugged. “Didn’t know I needed your permission to leave the house.” Then he winced. “Is it always this loud around here?”
“Yes, on the TV. No, on the baby. Wanna go grab a beer?” Jessie didn’t know why she’d asked the question. But standing close in the confined space, she realized that after all these years her racing heart still recognized the scent of his breath, and she’d go anywhere with him if for no other reason than to escape the current chaos.
“I’m down. Only, since I’m already on my second, think you could drive?”
“Deal. I’ll be right back.”
She grabbed her wristlet wallet and keys, then dashed upstairs for a quick change into hip-hugging faded jeans, a white tank and cowboy boots. After yanking out her ponytail to finger-comb her long hair into messy waves, she added lip gloss, then rejoined Grady in the laundry room so the two of them could slip out before their parents had even noticed they were missing.
Twenty minutes later, they occupied two stools at the bar of the Dew Drop Tavern over in Schilling—also unaffected by the storm. The few times Jessie had been there on dates, it hadn’t been this crowded, but then there had also been a dozen other establishments for folks to gather that no longer existed.
After their on-tap Buds had been delivered, along with a basket of hand-cut fries to share, Grady said, “Last time I was in this place was after that homecoming game our sophomore year when it rained the whole damn night. Allen and I thought we had it won, then lost in, what? Like the last ten seconds?”
“Technically, there had been three seconds left on the clock.”
He winced. “Thanks for reminding me. Pretty sure my back still hurts from that game.”
“So this is where you guys went, huh?” Jessie grinned, running her index finger around her glass’s rim. “Corny and I waited for you two losers thirty minutes outside the locker room. When you never showed, we went to the dance alone and pissed. Come to think of it, your whole flat-tire story was pretty dumb, considering you could have just walked to the gym from the field.”
“Sorry. Allen and I needed a guys’ night, so we snuck out of the locker room through the coach’s door.”
“Creep!” She pummeled his chest, never meaning her actions as anything other than playful fun. But when Grady trapped her hands squarely over his heart, she discovered it beat as fast as her own. Suddenly he leaned in for what she hoped, thought, prayed would be a kiss, and she thought her heart would stop altogether.
And then he abruptly backed away to down the remainder of his beer before signaling the bartender for another.
For the second, maybe even third, time that night, Jessie’s eyes welled, but she’d be damned if she’d give him the satisfaction of knowing she still cared. She didn’t. It had been a good long while since she’d been kissed, and that craving—no, more like yearning—tugged at her heartstrings. Nothing more. If he were to dare claim otherwise, she’d slap his no-good, whisker-stubbled cheek for sass.
But he not only didn’t make claims, sassy or otherwise, but wouldn’t even look her way until after she’d eaten all the fries and he’d finished his third beer.
Mortification and loneliness didn’t begin to cover the way she felt all crammed in next to him in the crowd, with their thighs, hips and shoulders brushing, and that achingly familiar attraction she held for him humming, when he seemed oblivious to her. In fact, when he went so far as to ask an old classmate of theirs—who’d wedged in on his other side in her too-tight jeans and a rodeo buckle practically bigger than her pile of fake red hair—to dance, Jessie threw up a little in her mouth.
After the twosome left, she might have gained breathing room, but she’d lost her ever-loving sanity.
The dimly lit joint was humming with energy as the whole place sang along to Toby Keith’s “Red Solo Cup.” The air was thick from smoke and far too many tall tales.
“Hey, little lady.” A cowboy sporting a brown leather hat and obligatory Wranglers held out his hand and smiled. “Wanna proceed to party?”
“Sure.” Why not?
It wasn’t as if she had any reason to stick around the bar. She only carried her wristlet wallet, into which she’d stashed her keyless remote, credit card, cash and lip gloss—not that she’d even had need for the latter, since her first coat of the night was sadly in place even after munching all those fries.
She took the cowboy’s hand, letting him guide her through the crowd to the dance floor, where she spied Grady and his redhead. He held his hands low on her hips, and had hooked his thumbs over the top edge of her leather belt. The girl from high school, whose name Jessie couldn’t even remember, had tucked her hands into Grady’s back pockets.
“What’s your name?” the stranger asked.
Jessie told him, and they somehow made small talk over blaring, old-school Johnny Cash.
At the end of the song, her stomach sank when she realized that Grady was no longer on the dance floor. Had he taken the redhead outside for air? The very thought of him kissing another woman turned her stomach almost as much as thinking of herself lip-locking with another man did—ridiculous, in light of the fact that unless she intended to die alone, one day she would kiss another man and like it!
But not tonight...
“Thank you,” she said to Bobby, a nice guy whose only fault was that he wasn’t Grady. “This has been fun.”
“Who says it has to end?”
She laughed. Great question. And so she danced with him again to a slow Garth Brooks tune about heartache and pain. Grady appeared through the shadows, as if the song had summoned him, and he asked Jessie’s current partner if he minded if he cut in.
The pass-off was amicable enough.
The way her pulse raced like a caged hummingbird’s was not.
“What’re you doing, Grady?”
“Seems obvious, Jess.” His breath smelled familiar and sexy and laced with just enough beer that she credited Budweiser for any sweet-talking rather than him. “I saw the prettiest girl in the room and claimed her.”
“Oh, you did?”
“Hell, yeah...” He leaned his head low, nuzzling her neck, downright stealing what little strength remained in her knees. “And now I’m gonna kiss her.”
“And just how do you figure on doing that when she wants nothing to do with you?”
“She might say that.” He backed away just far enough for her to catch his sloppy wink. Sadly, this wasn’t him talking, but too much beer. “But deep down, there’s no hiding the fact that we share unfinished business.”
“Oh?” She gulped.
He skimmed her hair back behind her ears, then framed her face, brushing her full lower lip with the pads of his thumbs. “See, I know a secret. She happens to love makin’ out on dance floors.”
Lord help her, but from the jukebox Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood launched into “Remind Me,” and Jessie was reminded of just how good it had once felt being held in Grady’s arms. As for the possibility of him kissing her? The thought turned her all hot and achy and wanting. And she hated it almost as much as she craved even more from him. But being held by him was the emotional equivalent of letting a flame lick too close and then burn. No matter how beautiful and seductive Grady’s flame was, she couldn’t risk being burned again.
“Y-you don’t know anything,” she somehow managed, nudging him a safe distance from her. “And anyway, it’s late, and I have to be back at school in the morning.”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re a buzzkill?”
Mainly just herself.
* * *
GRADY HAD A tough time opening his eyes the next morning.
Complicating the issue was the fact that not only had he made a drunken pass at the woman he’d sworn to steer clear of, but she now stood at the head of his bed, hands on her hips, scowling. “Get up.”
He groaned, giving himself a leisurely scratch as opposed to leaping to attention like Miss Bossy Pants would have no doubt preferred. He could deny it all he wanted, but last night at that bar, they’d shared a moment—until she’d gone and dumped the verbal equivalent of ice water on his head.
“I mean it.”
“What’s the problem, and why the hell are you in my room?”
“Technically, it’s my parents’ guest room, and trust me, this is the last place I want to be.”
He’d just now gotten around to noticing the background soundtrack of the wailing mystery baby and winced. “Your mom still hasn’t found her folks?”
“No, and I’m due at what used to be my school in five minutes. In what I’m sure is another stupid matchmaking scheme, apparently you and I have been left to play parents all day, but I’m not falling for it.” She charged from his room and presumably into the nursery just as the crying stopped.
After using the heels of his hands to give his eyes a good rub, Grady rolled out of bed, only to cup his throbbing forehead. How many beers had he had? All he remembered was wanting Jessie more than he’d wanted his first pickup truck, and then her shooting him down, and then the night pretty much turning south—way south, as in straight to hell—from there.
He groaned and wandered into the bathroom to relieve himself, then cautiously made his way to the nursery.
The baby had switched into high gear, and her supersonic wails no doubt had dogs barking clear to the next county.
Cotton was doing a bang-up job.
“Hush,” he said to the yippy dog, plucking him up, only to gently set him out in the hall before closing the nursery door.
“Give me that baby.”
“Why?” Jessie snapped. “You couldn’t take any better care of her than Cotton could.”
“If that’s what you believe, then how come you woke me in the first place?” He crossed his arms.
“I don’t know...” She jiggled and rocked and cooed, but the little lady wasn’t having it.
What Jessie didn’t know was that Grady held not just one ace, but a good half dozen up his sleeve. “Give me that kid.”
This time, he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
Just like he’d been taught over years of pulling babysitting duty for his friends and their wives back in Virginia, he first swaddled the infant nice and snug in a receiving blanket, then held her extraclose, tucking the downy-soft crown of her head beneath his chin. “There you go,” he crooned. “I know you’re scared, but we’re gonna find your momma and daddy real soon.”
He paced the length of the room nice and slow, and when her cries settled into whimpers, and then tiny huffs, and finally peaceful breathing, he couldn’t help but feel a small rush of victory. Hot damn. He still had his touch.
Jessie’s gaze narrowed.
Hands on her hips, she asked, “Where in the world did you learn how to do all that?”
He shrugged. “Must’ve picked it up from watching a movie.”
“Uh-huh. Tell me the truth.”
“For a few years, I was low man on the totem, which meant whenever the older guys on the team opted for a night out on the town with their wives, me and my pals, Wiley, Rowdy and Marsh, always seemed to get pulled for babysitting duty. Well, shoot, after a while, we started making a competition out of it—you know, seeing which one of us the kids liked best. Marsh was the clear winner—especially once he had his own kid. Rowdy was a disaster, but we gave him points for trying. Wiley was so-so, but I did all right. My specialty was the babies. Maybe because they didn’t realize I was faking it.”
“What you just pulled off wasn’t faking it, Grady, but a God-given skill. You were the same way with horses. Chickens, on the other hand...” She winced.
He laughed—but not loud enough to wake the baby who slept in his arms. “I still have a scar on my calf from where Mom’s old Rhode Island Red nailed me.”
“Could you blame her? I’d have pecked you, too, if you’d tried snatching my chick.”
“How was I supposed to know which one was hers? We had about sixteen that year, and I needed the extra credit for science.”
Now Jessie was laughing. “Who could forget the great chicken maze? I’m shocked NASA didn’t recruit you for that one.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re just jealous because it beat your mushroom collection.”
“Whatever.”
Lord, he’d missed this. Just the sheer, simple pleasure of their banter. Didn’t she miss it, too? What was wrong with her that she couldn’t see how perfect they were for each other in every single way? What was wrong with him that since being home, he’d thought of nothing else? “Why wouldn’t you let me kiss you last night?”
“Wh-what?” She coughed.
“You heard me.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Stop. Don’t deny you didn’t feel it.”
She turned her back to him to tidy the already neat contents of the changing table’s shelves.
He stood close enough behind her to feel her heat.
Eyes closed, he imagined them in a different world—one where she finally told him the reason she’d torn them apart. He hadn’t meant to confront her, but holding this baby brought it all rushing back—just how great they’d been together. How great they could be again, if only she’d let him in.
But did he really even want that?
Or had last night’s buzz combined with the sweet smell of fresh-washed baby hair messed with his head?
“You know what?” Grady spun on his heel to aim for the door. “Forget I asked. It was stupid, and I didn’t mean it. Clearly, I need to lay off the suds, and I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable. So...” He forced a deep breath, and nodded toward the baby. “That said, you go on to work, and know I’ve got this.”

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