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Reckless
Tori Carrington


Giving in to the forbidden… Heidi has her life on track. Her education and her career are going perfectly. Yet there’s one thing she’s missing: Kyle Trapper. The tall, sexy bad boy with deep blue eyes to die for is the man of Heidi’s dreams.The problem? She’s just about to marry someone else! However, Kyle is determined to claim her as his own – and he has a seriously seductive way of always getting what he wants. It looks like Heidi needs a new blueprint, and fast. After all, when does true love ever go according to plan?







Oh, my God…

Heidi wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing. It looked like she was kissing Kyle. But that was impossible. There was no way she would ever kiss her boyfriend’s best friend.

She heard a small sound and realised that not only was she kissing Kyle, she was doing so wholeheartedly—and enjoying it.

Enjoying it? Hell, she was afraid she might spontaneously combust from the simple contact of her mouth against his.




Available in November 2009 from Mills & Boon


Blaze





BLAZE 2-IN-1

Drop Dead Gorgeous by Kimberly Raye & Come Toy with Me by Cara Summers

Crossing the Line by Lori Wilde

Reckless by Tori Carrington


Multi-award-winning, bestselling husband-and-wife duo Lori and Tony Karayianni are the power behind the pen name Tori Carrington. Their more than thirty-five titles include numerous Blaze


mini-series, as well as the ongoing Sofie Metropolis comedic mystery series with another publisher. Visit www.toricarrington.net and www.sofiemetro.com and www.myspace.com/toricarrington for more information on the couple and their titles.




RECKLESS

BY TORI CARRINGTON











www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/)


We dedicate this book to all our MySpace and

Facebook friends. You guys rock!

And, as always, to our editor Brenda Chin, who has

wa knack for seeing the forest despite the trees.




Chapter 1


HOT BREATH created a steamy dampness on her neck, challenging the summer heat for dominance…Her nipples awakened to tingling life under the attention of his roaming hands…She tightened her thighs, trapping his hips, a moan building in her throat…

Heidi Joblowski arched her back against the cool sheets and slid her hands down to cup Jesse’s bottom, holding him close.

Chapter Oh, yes…

He instantly stiffened against her, his body quaking.

Chapter Oh, no.

Chapter Not again. Not yet.

Heidi bit her bottom lip, praying that this wasn’t it. That Jesse wasn’t finished.

He collapsed against her.

The moan turned into a groan.

“Mmm,” he hummed, kissing her neck several times and then kissing her mouth. “That was good.You were good.”

Apparently she was too good. He’d reached climax before she was even halfway up the ladder, leaving her hanging from the rungs with no hope of his helping her over. Because she knew that no matter what she said, what she did, he was done.

And she wasn’t even close.

“What?” he said when she kissed him back with moderate enthusiasm. “Oh, no. Did I do it again?”

Heidi took a deep breath, trying to unwind her coiled muscles. “When I said ‘quickie,’ I didn’t mean it in a literal sense. I meant ‘no foreplay necessary.’ But an orgasm would have been nice.”

He chuckled into her hair. “I’m sorry, Heidi.”

She stretched her neck, figuring she could see to herself in the shower. After all, it was three o’clock on a busy Saturday afternoon in June and she certainly hadn’t expected more. Had hoped for more, especially since they’d spoken several times lately about Jesse’s habit of not waiting for her before diving over the orgasmic edge.

Of course, all it usually took for Jesse was a gentle blow in his ear and a squeeze of her thighs and he was a goner.

Therein lay the problem.

“It’s the place, I think,” he said, smoothing her hair back from her face. “It’s strange having sex in Professor Tanner’s place.”

“It’s not his place, it’s mine. At least for the summer while I’m renting it from him.”

Well, she was actually house-sitting, as well. Watering Tanner’s plants, taking care of his garden, forwarding his mail to him while he was in Belgium for the next couple of months. A perfect set-up, really. She got the type of privacy with Jesse that she wanted and that they couldn’t have at the apartment he shared with two friends, and all she had to do was take care of the house as if it were her own. Perfect.

Only it wasn’t working as well as she’d hoped.

Jesse turned on his dazzling megawatt grin. “Do you want to try again?”

Heidi quickly reached for another condom on the nightstand.

A knock at the front door thwarted her intentions.

Jesse kissed her. “I’ll make it up to you, Hi. I promise.”

She languidly snaked her arms around his neck and tunneled her fingers into his thick, dark hair. “At this rate, you’ll oweme well into the next century,” she whispered.

His chuckle made her smile. “So be it.” He kissed her deeply again before pushing off to jump into his jeans sans underwear. “I can come up with worse debts.”

So could she.

Heidi propped herself up on her elbows, watching Jesse Gilbred’s fine male form as he got dressed. His tousled hair dipped low over his brow. His slender, whipcord-taut muscles moved and rippled with his actions. His green eyes twinkled at her mischievously.

It was a sight of which she’d never tire. She’d met Jesse when they’d been little more than kids in high school and had remained smitten with him ever since. He’d been the captain of the football team, she’d been the quiet, studious girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Even when he’d left Fantasy, Michigan, to attend college in the east, they’d maintained a long-distance relationship, with Jesse returning at least one weekend a month to see her. It had been a long two years, but when he’d graduated and come home for good to work in a managerial capacity at his father’s construction company, she’d been there for him, just as she had for the past eight years.

He had been her first. And she intended that he be her last. He was the one she’d built all of her plans around. Well, all but the little detail they encountered every now and again, as they had just now. But they could definitely work on that.

He left the room and Heidi pulled a pillow over her head and gave a muffled moan.

“Hey, how’s it hanging, man?” she heard Jesse’s voice as he greeted their visitor.

She shifted the pillow to peek at the bedroom door he’d left wide open.

Jesse’s best friend entered her line of vision, all blond hair and dark tan. He stared at her, apparently as startled as she was at being caught in this situation.

“Jesse!” she called, yanking the sheet up to her chin and then catapulting off the bed so she could close the door.

Heidi leaned against the wood for long moments, listening to Jesse’s laugh and Kyle’s awkward apologies.

So much for seeing to her own needs. Whatever lingering desire she felt had been chased away by another man’s scorching gaze.

She made out Jesse’s words through the wood, “No need to apologize. If a guy can’t trust his best friend, who can he trust?”

Heidi gave an eye roll and dropped the sheet, stepping over it on her way to the connecting bath.

NAKED as the day she was born.

The ridiculous saying came to Kyle Trapper’s mind as he raked his hand through his hair, staring at his friend as if he’d lost a baseball or two on the way to the game.

Kyle had yet to move from where he stood in the middle of the small, well-appointed living room. His gaze wandered back toward the closed bedroom door of its own volition, as if hoping to catch another forbidden glimpse of Heidi’s decadent white flesh. He didn’t care which part. Whether it was her pert, rose-kissed breasts, her flat, toned stomach, or the trimmed triangle of hair that seemed to point toward the V of her thighs like an erotic arrow.

His friend sat on an armchair pulling on socks and athletic shoes, oblivious to his thoughts. And it was a good thing. If their roles had been reversed, he’d have punched his friend.

“Hell, Jesse, do you let everyone see your girlfriend naked?”

Jesse got up and smacked him on the back. “Only my closest friends.”

Kyle was not amused.

“What’s your problem? You’d think you’d never seen a woman without her clothes on.”

“Never that woman.”

Never Jesse’s girl.

Jesse grabbed a T-shirt that was hanging on the back of the chair. “How’d you know I was here, anyway?”

Kyle hadn’t known. In fact, he hadn’t come here for his friend at all. He’d come to talk to Heidi.

He cleared his throat. “Where else would you be?”

His response must have come out gruffer than he’d intended because Jesse paused. “Hey, you never have told me what your problem is with Heidi, but she’s one of the most open women I’ve ever met.” He shrugged as he pulled the shirt over his head. “She won’t care that you’ve seen her naked.”

“Right. That’s why she turned ten shades of red and slammed the door.” Kyle rubbed the back of his neck. “And why do you think I have a problem with her?”

Jesse pulled the T-shirt down, revealing the name of a local tavern. “She thinks you don’t like her.”

That surprised him. At the same time it was cause for relief. If either Jesse or Heidi had a clue about how he really felt…well, he didn’t think he’d be standing in her rental house right now, about to leave with her boyfriend to play softball.

In fact, he’d probably be run out of the small town on a rail, back to a life that had never held much for him by way of a future.

If you had asked him seven years ago where he’d be now, he would never have guessed south-east Michigan, working as an architect. But that would have been before Jesse was assigned as his roommate at Boston University and his life had changed forever…for the better. So much so that he hadn’t hesitated when his friend had invited him to come to Fantasy eight months ago and put his architectural talents to good use by working in cooperation with Gilbred Builders. So he’d shut the doors to his own start-up company in Boston and moved to the Midwest.

He’d like to say it had been smooth sailing ever since. But he wasn’t much into lying, particularly to himself. Until he’d moved to Fantasy, he’d only spoken to Heidi when she called and Jesse wasn’t home—calls he’d enjoyed more than he should have. What he hadn’t anticipated was that coming to Fantasy would amplify his lust for a woman he could never have.

If he’d needed a reminder, he’d just gotten it by way of his uncomfortable physical reaction to a mere glimpse of her full-frontal nudity.

And what of his strategy to combat his unwanted emotions by asking her to help him plan a surprise birthday party for Jesse? The idea being that the more time he forced himself to spend around her, the better he’d be able to battle against his attraction to her? Was he kidding himself by thinking that familiarity would erase whatever mysterious factors drew him to her?

But after eight months of careful avoidance and awkward silences whenever their paths crossed, and nights filled with countless cold showers, Kyle knew he had to do something to defuse a situation that was only getting worse instead of better.

“Anyway, we all know you’re gay,” Jesse said, lightly hitting him in the arm.

“What?”

“You heard me. I haven’t seen you date a single woman since you’ve come to Fantasy. Back in Boston you were with a girl nearly every night of the week. I figured you’d switched sides and were batting lefty.”

Now that was a new one. But, hey, so long as it kept his best friend from learning the truth, let him think what he would.

“I’m joking, man.”

Kyle stared at him, realizing that Jesse had expected something else from him. A denial maybe. Or perhaps a mock physical assault.

He made like he was going to slug him.

Jesse laughed and good-naturedly dodged the hit as he grabbed his ball cap. “Come on. We can get in some practice on the field before anyone else gets there.”

Jesse opened the front door and walked out. Kyle stood staring at the closed bedroom door for a long moment, feeling as if he owed Heidi an apology. He heard the spray of the shower and swallowed thickly, the sound of the water combining with the memory of her sleekly naked body to create an image he really didn’t need.

The blare of a truck horn sounded from the driveway.

Kyle gave the door one last glance and then reluctantly turned away. If he knew what was best for him, he’d keep on going until he was back in Boston and well away from a temptation that had the potential to destroy all the good he’d finally found in life.

THE TOWN PUB was a popular gathering place all year round, but in the summer, doubly so. Heidi shouted her order to the bartender over the cacophony of voices. Most of the patrons had come from the baseball complex on the edge of town, like her. She peeled off the money to pay for the beer and then juggled the five bottles as she made her way back to the table. Unsurprisingly, she found that Jesse had left his chair and was playing darts with Kyle. He took two beers from her as she passed.

“Thanks, babe.”

He kissed her cheek but his focus was on the target some ten feet away. She put the remaining beers on the table and sat down next to her friend Nina Leonard.

Actually, Nina was more than a friend. She was Heidi’s boss at BMC, the bookstore/music center/café where she’d been working for the past year while she finished her degree at U ofM. And Nina was partners in more ways than one with the man sitting on the other side of her, Kevin Weber. The two were due to marry in a couple of months, surprising almost everyone with their rapid courtship. To this day, half the town’s population watched Nina’s stomach, convinced she must be pregnant.

Heidi knew they were getting married because they were in love.

“When are you going to ask Jesse to stop calling you a pig’s name?” Nina asked, quirking a brow at her.

Heidi made a face. “He doesn’t mean it that way.”

Nina looked at Kevin. He pretended he didn’t have a clue what they were talking about.

“Oh, stop it,” Heidi said with a laugh.

“Hey, you’re the one who pitched a fit when Jesse proposed at the wrong time,” Nina reminded her.

Heidi cringed and leaned her forehead against her open palm. “Oh, God, I knew I shouldn’t have told you about that.”

“If not me, then who?” Nina leaned in closer. “If I wasn’t already engaged to Kevin, I’d give Jesse’s friend Kyle another look or two.”

Heidi gaped at her.

“What? I can look.” Nina waggled her fingers. “It’s the touching I can’t do.”

Kevin gave his fiancée a long stare and then slid from the booth, gravitating toward the men playing darts and away from the women talking men.

Heidi watched him go, wondering not for the first time what had gone down at BMC several months ago and why the third partner in the business, Patrick Gauge, had disappeared without explanation. For as long as Heidi had been at the store, she’d believed Nina, Kevin and Gauge were the closest of friends.

Then Gauge had left. And Nina and Kevin had become engaged.

While she wasn’t one for gossip—well, not much, anyway—Heidi hadn’t been able to ignore the rumors surrounding her bosses. While there were several versions of the story, all of them centered around one theme: a steamy love triangle.

Was it true? Heidi didn’t know and wouldn’t allow herself to ask. But she’d be lying if she said that questioning glances like the one Kevin had just given Nina after her innocent remarks about Kyle didn’t make her wonder every now and again.

And just the other day, after a run-in with the new manager of BMC’s music department, which Gauge had once overseen, she’d absently said to Nina, “I miss Gauge.”

Her friend had gotten a faraway look and whispered, “Me, too.”

Now, Nina took a deep pull from her beer bottle. “Tell me again why you refused the ring.”

“Would you stop already?” Heidi laughed.

“Okay. Then tell me about this idea of how you want your life to unfold.”

“It’s a plan.”

“Excuse me. Plan.” Nina gave her a sidelong glance. “And Jesse’s proposal before the appointed time sent everything into a tailspin.”

Heidi sighed. “I know. It sounds stupid, doesn’t it? I mean, most women would be thrilled to be proposed to at all. Much less by a hot guy like Jesse.”

“Yes, well, you’re not most women. You and Jesse have been a couple for, like, forever. And you’ve always seen yourself getting engaged…when?”

“You know when.” Heidi held the cold bottle against the side of her face to cool her heated skin. “When I get my MBA. What’s so wrong with that?”

“Which is when?”

“Since I’m taking summer classes now, I’m hoping for early next year.”

“So, let me get this straight.When did Jesse propose?”

“Last week.”

“So he popped the question a whole six months before your idea of when you thought he should propose and you turned him down?”

Heidi was affronted. “I didn’t turn him down. I just told him to ask me next year.”

Nina counted off on her fingers. “First there’s the proposal after you’ve graduated. Preferably on the night you accept your diploma. Then there’s a one-year-to-the-date wedding at St. Pat’s. And nine months after that, your first child…” Nina tucked her short, neat, blond hair behind her ear. “You know, you really can’t plan stuff like that, Heidi.”

“Why not?”

Nina shrugged and sipped her beer. “I know that everything’s gone according to plan so far. And that there’s no reason to think it won’t now…” Her words trailed off and she got that faraway look again.

“But?” Heidi asked quietly, feeling oddly sober.

Nina blinked and smiled softly. “But sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way you expect it to.”

“Talking about me again?”

Heidi looked up into Jesse’s handsome face, returning his kiss with gusto. “Always.”

He pulled up a chair next to her while Kyle did the same on the opposite side of the table. Heidi met his gaze briefly and felt heat suffuse her from the top of her head down to the tip of her toes. She’d avoided looking directly at him since their little…encounter earlier at the house. It wasn’t every day someone who wasn’t her boyfriend saw her naked.

She wasn’t sure what she expected to see. An apology, maybe? Or perhaps even a knowing smirk?

Instead Kyle wore an expression she couldn’t quite define. And for the span of a millisecond she felt the type of electricity she’d experienced only one other time in her life: the day she’d met Jesse.

She blinked, shocked to find herself suddenly breathless.

“So what did you guys think of the game?” Jesse asked, flexing his right biceps. “Did we rock or what?”

Everyone shouted a response either pro or con as Heidi quickly looked away from Kyle.

She was relieved that when she glanced back, Kyle was no longer looking at her but at the waitress putting a fresh bowl of peanuts on the table.

“Pity the man who has to sing his own praises,” he said.

“And praise the man who doesn’t have to,” Kevin agreed.

The table erupted into laughter.

Heidi picked up her beer bottle and drained half the contents, feeling strangely as though she’d just grabbed a live wire.

And she hadn’t a clue how to let go…




Chapter 2


Chapter KEEP THINGS LIGHT. Keep things safe.

Kyle repeated the words in his mind three days later as he climbed out of his car in the parking lot of BMC, the bookstore/music center/café where Heidiworked. He shaded his eyes, spotting Heidi’s old Sunfire convertible parked a couple of rows up. Good, she was working. That meant that he could talk to her in the safe environment of her workplace, safe being a relative term.

At any rate, he was sure there would be little risk of seeing her naked here. Itwas hard enough being with her and Jesse in public without imagining her sans clothes.

Which made what hewas about to ask doubly difficult.

“Oh, for God’s sake, she’s just a woman. More than that, she’s your best friend’s girl. Get over it.”

But no matter how stridently he censured himself, he knew that the attraction he felt for Heidi far surpassed coveting his buddy’s girlfriend. From the moment he’d ridden into Fantasy and had finally met Heidi, he’d known he was in trouble.

And he had done everything in his power to fight the unwanted feelings.

“Kyle?”

He pulled his gaze from Heidi’s car to find himself looking at Heidi herself. She was wearing her work apron, the white fabric snug against her slender frame. It was as if she’d emerged from his thoughts, looking somehow out of place in the parking lot.

He realized he hadn’t said anything yet and managed a simple, “Hey.”

She walked in his direction. “What are you doing here?”

He squinted at her.

“Trying to expand your horizons by buying a book?”

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his slacks. He’d taken off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, but still wore his tie. “Actually, I heard the clam chowder was pretty good here.”

Her smile eclipsed the sun. “The best, considering I’m the one who makes it.”

“You going somewhere?”

She glanced over her shoulder and then at her watch. “Yeah. I thought I’d get a few errands out of the way during my break.”

“I was hoping we could talk.”

Now that hadn’t come out quite the way he’d wanted. It almost sounded like what he had to say was personal. While it was, it wasn’t the kind of “personal” that should have inspired the wary look on her beautiful face.

She checked her watch again. “I’m sorry, but I really don’t have the time. I only have fifteen minutes before I have to be back at work.”

Kyle grimaced. Probably he should have just gone in and ordered and waited for her to come back. Now if he did that, she’d likely avoid him at all costs.

Hell.

“It’s not what you might be thinking,” he said.

“I’m not thinking anything,” she said, beginning to walk away. “Why would I be thinking anything?” She shrugged. “You know, aside from you going out of your way to be rude to me ever since you came to town eight months ago.”

“Pardon?”

She planted her hands on her hips. “You heard me. I mean, come on, Kyle, did you think I wouldn’t notice that you don’t like me very much? I don’t know why that is…and I don’t want to know. So why don’t we just continue on the way we have been. You know, with chilly cordiality?”

Chilly cordiality? Now that was a description.

Unending cold showers would be more his choice of wording.

He looked her over. She really didn’t have a clue, did she? Despite the other night at the bar when he was afraid he’d revealed more than he’d ever intended to, she thought he didn’t like her.

Which should have suited him just fine.

But suddenly it didn’t.

“I’ve really got to go…”

She turned to walk away. And without realizing he was going to do it, he grasped her wrist to prevent her from leaving.

“We really need to talk, Heidi.”

HEAT, sure and swift, swept over Heidi’s skin from the casual contact. A heat she didn’t want to acknowledge. There was only one thing worse than the possibility of being attracted to her boyfriend’s best friend: knowing that he didn’t return the sentiment. In fact, she was convinced that not only was Kyle not interested in her sexually, he wasn’t interested in befriending her either, no matter how hard Jesse tried to push them together.

“I don’t know what we could possibly have to talk about,” she told him now.

Liar. She could start by telling him how something had changed in her feelings toward him the other night. Something elemental. Something confusing. Something frightening.

Nina had told her that plans often didn’t turn out exactly the way you wanted them to. That wasn’t Heidi’s experience. At least not in recent years. And she didn’t even want to consider that her well-laid plans would go anywhere but where they should. She’d been raised in an environment where simple things like cooking dinner and regularly paying the electric bill hadn’t been planned, so she’d taken it upon herself to impose order on her own life. As soon as she was old enough, she’d gotten herself up and to the bus stop on time, changing from an often-tardy student to one with no late slips. She’d gone grocery shopping with her mother, and while Alice Joblowski had lingered in the book section leafing through the latest titles, Heidi had consulted a list she’d made of ingredients for meals for the next two weeks, because you never knew when her mother would think to go to the supermarket next.

She liked order in her life.

And her reaction to Kyle’s skin against hers now was nothing if not disordered.

She slipped her wrist out of his grip.

“Look,” he said, shoving his hand back into his pocket, seeming as irritated as she was. “I know you and I…well, we haven’t really gotten on well since I moved here. But Jesse would like to change that. And, frankly, so would I.”

Heidi frowned. “I’m okay with the way things are.”

He looked at her closely. Perhaps a little too closely.

“What is it that you want to talk about, Kyle?” She made a point of checking her watch again. At this rate, she’d be late returning from break. And she hadn’t finished one of the three errands she’d wanted to run.

“I want you to help me plan a surprise birthday party for Jesse.”

“A SURPRISE birthday party?” Nina repeated sometime later, after Heidi had returned to work.

The two women were in the café’s kitchen, Nina sitting on the prep table snacking on oyster crackers while Heidi put all her energy into kneading a fresh batch of sweet dough.

Usually, this was one of her favorite times of day. When the morning baking and the lunch rush were over and she could enjoy the afterglow of a job well done and kvetch or gossip with Nina while she tried out a new recipe.

Sometimes it was difficult to remember that Nina Leonard was her boss. Nina certainly never put on any airs, and she always treated Heidi like a coworker rather than an employee. Ideas were exchanged, schedules switched. And there wasn’t a thing Heidi couldn’t tell Nina.

Her cheeks felt as if they were on fire…along with her pants. What was the saying? Liar, liar, pants on fire?

There was one thing she wouldn’t dare tell Nina. And that was anything having to do with her recent sexual awareness of Kyle. To do so would be the ultimate in reckless, and even worse, it would be taking that awareness beyond a real fear to a very real reality.

“So what did you tell him?” Nina popped another cracker into her mouth.

Heidi slowed her kneading. “What was I supposed to tell him?”

“That you had to check your schedule?”

She pinched off a bit of dough and threw it at Nina. “I told him yes, of course.”

Kyle had offered a convincing case. Said he wasn’t used to organizing parties but wanted to do this one thing for his best friend to make a dent in the debt he owed Jesse for helping him out on so many occasions.

“What do you know about this guy?” Nina asked.

Heidi shrugged. “That he and Jesse met at college. That they roomed together for two years. He’s an architect and works a lot in cooperation with Jesse’s family’s company…”

“What about personally?”

“Like how?”

“Like does he have a girlfriend?”

“Not that I can tell. Jesse and I haven’t really discussed it.”

Nina pushed off the counter and threw away the dough stuck to her shirt. “I’d be careful there.”

Heidi’s kneading came to a full stop. “How do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You could say that I’ve had a little experience being…friends with two hot men.”

Heidi remembered the rumors and was tempted to ask about them. But the telephone rang, like some sort of physical warning that she should just leave well enough alone. She was mildly surprised that Nina didn’t seem to hear it. Someone must have picked it up out front.

“Anyway,” Nina said, checking the progress of another bowl of dough that was rising on top of thewarm stove. “I just think it’s important for you to be careful.”

“I’m not following you.”

“You know, you might not want to be…alone with Kyle during any of the planning meetings…stuff like that.”

Heidi laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Jesse and I have been a couple for eight years.”

“Just the same…”

Janice, the front-counter girl, opened the door a crack. “Heidi, it’s for you.”

Her throat suddenly went dry. Nina’s gaze sharpened on her.

“I’ll finish up,” her friend said. “You go talk to whoever it is.”

Heidi wiped the dough from her fingers and then quickly washed her hands before picking up the phone in the corner.

“Heidi?”

Her shoulders instantly relaxed and she made a point of saying directly to Nina, who was still watching her, “Hi, Mom.”

Then she turned away, not about to admit that she, too, had been half afraid that the call was from Kyle.

She groaned inwardly. However was she going to plan a party with the man if she couldn’t deal with the thought of talking to him on the phone?

She didn’t know. But she knew that, for Jesse’s sake, she was going to have to find a way.




Chapter 3


HEIDI COULDN’T IMAGINE what her mother wanted her for. It wasn’t like Alice to be cagey. But all she’d said on the phone was that she needed to see Heidi and could she please come over to the house when she had the chance?

Heidi put the last of the dough in the fridge and then leaned against the kitchen island and sighed. It was after nine and it had been a long day. But since she wanted tomorrow off for a catering job, she’d needed to put in the hours. She was lucky that Nina and Kevin allowed her to work around her class schedule and whatever else came up. Definitely different from any other employer she’d worked for. And if she wanted to use the kitchen after hours to prepare for any catering gigs that she’d put together, that was all right, too.

Of course, her long day had left her no time to stop by her mother’s. Which was just as well, because after the day she’d had, she wasn’t sure she was up for any surprises. At least not any more surprises. She had her hands full trying to figure out what she was going to do about Kyle. More specifically, she had to get a handle on her sudden, runaway attraction to him.

Jesse was busy tonight with softball practice and would no doubt be at the pub with the rest of the gang right about now. She’d spoken to him earlier and bowed out of his invitation to meet him there when she finished. She was tired and, okay, more than a little distracted. She didn’t think it was a good idea that she be anywhere near Kyle until she figured out what was going on between them.

Or rather, what was going on with her. Because if there was one thing she was relatively sure of, it was that Kyle Trapper wasn’t interested in her. Not one iota. He’d made that abundantly clear with his constant frowns in her presence, and he’d gone out of his way not to interact with her in any capacity.

Until now.

Heidi untied her apron and lifted it over her head, hanging it next to the door before going out into the café. The place was quiet. Nina had left some time ago and asked her to close up shop. She switched off all the lights save the one over the display counter which was always kept lit, and walked toward the music center. It was dark as well except for a couple of backlights in the public area. The same applied to the bookstore division, which was set up to look like a comfortable living room-library combination in a large, century-old house. Although the fireplace was empty of logs, the explosion of flowering plants in the hearth still made it the center of attention, and the overstuffed sofas and chairs invited road-weary shoppers to sit down for a moment and crack open one of the books in carefully arranged stacks on the nearby coffee and end tables.

The utter quiet brought Heidi a brief sense of relief, a feeling of control that she liked. There were no customers to wait on, no bosses to answer to. Her time was her own.

And she really should be getting home to catch up on her course work.

She checked to make sure the back door was locked, then headed toward the front, clutching her purse to her side. She turned the key to let herself out, and nearly fell backward when someone appeared on the other side of the glass.

It would have been bad enough had it been a stranger. What made it worse was that it was Kyle.

HE’D FRIGHTENED her.

Kyle held open the door, prepared to steady Heidi. He’d been hoping to catch her as she was leaving the store, but he hadn’t planned to scare her.

“I’m sorry. I startled you.”

“No, no. That’s okay,” she said quickly, her color high, her breathing uneven. She easily stepped out of touching range.

Damn, but she looked good. Her hair was a dark cloud around her pretty face, her eyes but shadows in the dim light. It had only been a few hours since he’d last seen her, and she’d looked good then. But that had been in the plain light of day. Now that it was night…

“What are you doing here, Kyle?”

Now that was a question.

“When you told me you’d consider my request, we didn’t name a time when you’d give me your answer.” Kyle’s gaze dropped to the pulse at the base of her slender throat. “Since Jesse’s birthday’s in less than two weeks…I figured that if you don’t want to help, I need to know now.”

Her frown made her prettier, if that were possible. She looked around the parking lot, where few cars remained. He hadn’t parked there.

He didn’t think it was a good idea for them to be seen spending time together without a valid reason.

“I’m around back,” he said.

She looked at him.

“So have you thought about it?”

“Yes.” She dropped her gaze.

“And?”

“And I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea.”

“The party?”

“Our working together to arrange it.”

Kyle raised his brows.

Okay, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t picked up on the spark of attraction that had ignited between them, turning what had been his one-sided lusting into a reciprocal need.

Probably it wasn’t a good idea to encourage that, considering she was his best friend’s girl. But he’d been mentally planning Jesse’s twenty-fifth birthday party for months now. And he was determined to make it a reality.

“We’re adults, aren’t we?” he asked.

“What?”

“We’re both capable of putting aside personal differences so that we can work together.”

She gestured with her hand. “Sure.”

She didn’t look too sure.

Causing Kyle to look more closely at her.

Footsteps sounded on the sidewalk and then the jingling of keys. “Good night, Heidi,” a middle-aged man from the next-door business called as he locked up.

“Yes…good night, Mr. Bannon. See you tomorrow morning.”

Bannon glanced at Kyle and nodded once.

He returned the gesture. Even though he’d been in Fantasy for a relatively short time, he still hadn’t gotten used to how small a town it was. Everybody seemed to know everybody else’s business.

“Um, I think we should go inside,” Heidi whispered, although there was no longer anyone around to hear her.

Kyle didn’t argue as she opened the door and ducked inside. He followed, waiting for her to lock the doors before leading the way through the bookstore, then the music center until finally they were in the café where she worked.

She stopped in the middle of the room, the display case backlighting her sexy form. She appeared about ready to jump out of her skin as she took in the large window overlooking the walk and the parking lot beyond.

“The kitchen.” She gestured over her shoulder. “I think it’s better if we go in there.”

Moments later, Kyle stood across a large, stainless steel island from Heidi, wondering why she was acting as if he posed some sort of threat to her. He didn’t look threatening, did he? He slid his hands in his pockets and grimaced. “This is where you work then? In the kitchen?”

Stupid question. He knew she was a certified chef. That she had a busy catering business and that as soon as she obtained her MBA she planned to apply for a loan to expand the company to include employees and her own store front.

“Yes,” she said simply.

The place was quieter than he’d expected. Not that he’d thought about it much, but it struck him as odd that beyond the hum of the refrigerator, there was no other sound.

“So…” they said at the same time.

A smile.

Kyle chuckled.

“This is awkward, isn’t it?” Heidi crossed her arms under her breasts, drawing his attention to the soft mounds under her clingy black T-shirt. Was it him, or had she just shivered?

She followed his gaze and immediately uncrossed her arms.

“I guess we should start with the basics,” she said. She felt around her hips as if looking for something. “I’m not wearing my apron.” It was hanging near the door and she went over and took out a hand-sized spiral notepad from the pocket. She opened it, put it down on the counter and clicked her pen.

Kyle realized she’d spoken but he hadn’t heard what she’d said. “Pardon me?”

“What have you done so far?” she repeated. “Have you decided on a venue? Your house? Or maybe his parents’ place?”

“I was hoping you could help me with that.”

She wrote something down. “Guests? Who do you want to invite?”

An hour later, they’d pretty much worked out the major details of the party.

Kyle couldn’t help feeling that despite how tired she looked, Heidi appeared to want to get this over with in one meeting. Probably so she wouldn’t have to see him again. The rest could easily be taken care of over the phone.

It didn’t sit well with him that she was uncomfortable in his presence. Was it because he’d seen her naked the other day? Or were her reasons a secret? A mystery even to herself?

Whatever the cause, he found himself wanting to put her at ease.

“Heidi…?”

“Hmm?” She was putting her notepad back into her apron pocket, and she turned quickly, ending up almost nose to nose with him. There was little maneuvering room, with the wall at her back.

“Oh!”

Kyle’s throat suddenly felt tight as he watched her pink tongue flick along her bottom lip.

He leisurely took his fill of her up this close. He hadn’t noticed the light spattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, or the specks of deep green in her warm brown eyes. And she smelled of…was that gardenia?

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“For what?” Her voice was a mere whisper as she returned the same attention to him that he was giving her.

Kyle smiled. “For going in on this with me.”

Her gaze darted around the room. “Sure, no problem.”

“Are you certain? Because I’m getting the impression that there is a problem.”

“Like what?”

He shrugged, his palms itching with the desire to reach out and touch her. “That’s what I’m wondering. You don’t seem to want to be in a room alone with me for any stretch.” God, but she smelled good. His voice lowered. “Why is that?”

He heard the catch in her breathing. “Don’t be silly. You’re Jesse’s best friend.”

And she was Jesse’s girl.

The thought should have been enough to chase Kyle away from the woman in front of him. Should have been enough to remind him that not only was she taken, but she had Jesse’s name stamped all over her. While they weren’t engaged, they were practically engaged. The two had been a couple for almost a decade.

“And any friend of Jesse’s is a friend of yours?” he finished for her.

She nodded, her pupils nearly eclipsing the rich color of her eyes as she stared at him unblinkingly.

And maybe that’s what she needed to do. What he needed to do. Give a good blink to break whatever spell being this close to each other was casting over them.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Then opened them to find that he should probably have shared his thoughts with her. Because Heidi was doing what he had hoped to prevent. She was leaning in to kiss him.




Chapter 4


OH, MY God…

Heidi wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing. It looked like she was kissing Kyle. But that was impossible. There was no way she would ever kiss her boyfriend’s best friend.

She heard a small sound and realized that not only was she kissing Kyle, she was doing so wholeheartedly—and enjoying it.

Enjoying it? Hell, she was afraid she might spontaneously combust from the simple contact of her mouth against his.

She abruptly broke off the kiss, only to find Kyle’s hands on either side of her face, allowing her no quarter.

Heidi swallowed thickly, incapable of movement, incapable of doing anything more than stare at him, wondering what he made of her actions…and, more, wondering how he might respond to her.

In that one moment, she knew that she’d risked everything she’d worked so hard for. Jeopardized every last plan, every last intention.

And when Kyle leaned in to kiss her again, she knew that she’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

She wasn’t sure what it was about this one man, what made her yearn for him in a way she was unable to resist. Perhaps it was the way she saw herself through his eyes: sexy, desirable, wanted. Or maybe it was her need of an unnameable something in him that compelled her to reach out. Something fundamental that transcended simple sexual need, consequences be damned.

Where before their kiss had been tentative, testing, now it was hungry and demanding. As if they both understood that they’d already thrown caution to the wind, risked so much, so why not just go the whole way?

Oh, yes. Why not?

Heidi couldn’t seem to kiss Kyle enough…touch him enough. She sought and licked and stroked from his crisp, thick hair to the back waist of his slacks. He pressed her against the wall, his mouth demanding as he grasped her hands and pulled them above her head, trapping them against the cool drywall even as he ground his hips into hers. Heidi moaned, the pressure he applied on the outside spreading to her inside, swirling and growing as she hooked her foot around his calf, drawing him closer still.

She struggled to regain control of her hands and he released her, moving her instead toward the preparation island. If she’d thought the wall was cool, she shivered when he hoisted her up to sit on the stainless steel, coaxing her knees apart with his hips and then filling the void with his body. Heidi tunneled her fingers into his hair, hauling him in for another kiss, a deeper kiss, her breathing coming in quick gasps. She reached for his shirt buttons and then roughly pulled the shirt up, separating herself from him briefly until the white cotton lay in a pile in the corner. He did the same with her shirt and her bra, leaving her bare to his attentions. The image of him running his tongue along her engorged nipples was almost too much to endure.

She’d never been intimate with any man except Jesse. Merely watching Kyle take liberties with her, claim her with a passionate certainty, nearly brought her to the brink.

“I have no fantasies,” she’d told Nina not too long ago.

Her friend had stared at her as if she were nuts.

But Heidi had never had any need for fantasies. Not when reality provided everything she wanted.

As she helped Kyle peel her slacks off, she wondered if perhaps she should have found something to fantasize about. Because maybe if she had, she wouldn’t have allowed definite fantasy material to seep into her reality.

Kyle’s fingers probed her throbbing flesh. She threw her head back and groaned, her hands flat against the counter, her hips bucking involuntarily.

How long had it been since she’d experienced this insane heat? This chaotic need? To be sure, up until recently, Jesse and her sex life had been satisfying.

Oh, but not this hot.

Two years? Five years?

The thoughts muddled in her brain as Kyle fitted a finger into her dripping wetness, rendering her helpless to do anything more than concentrate on him and only him.

Was this what it was like? Playing the field? Inviting intimacy with multiple men?

God, if this was any indication, then she’d lived a very sheltered life, indeed.

The problem was, she was terrified that the incredible heat she was experiencing wasn’t the result of exploring new territory with just any man…but only with Kyle.

“No…no…no…” she whispered, biting hard on her bottom lip even as she hastily undid the button on his fly and reached in to cup his silken length.

“Yes…yes…yes,” she countered.

If Kylewas tuned into her internal dilemma, hewasn’t letting on. Every bit of flesh he uncovered seemed to fascinate him endlessly, and his hands and mouth would follow his gaze, leaving no inch unexplored.

Heidi was in awe of his absorption. As was her body. She ached in a way that left her breathless, her heart racing uncontrollably.

Then came the moment when he would cross that last line, breach the last barrier.

Sheathed with a condom, he grasped her hips and stared into her eyes.

Heidi’s chest felt tight, her every cell shimmering with desire at this unexpected act of courtesy.

She licked her lips repeatedly and then scooted even closer to the edge of the counter.

“Please,” she said in response to his unspoken question.

He groaned, only too happy to oblige.

HEAVEN, hell and grandma’s devil’s food cake all rolled up into one hot package.

That’s how Kyle would have described finally being able to touch Heidi. But no one was asking, including himself. Because to bring any sort of gravity into the moment would completely negate the need for the question itself.

Oh, he knew that the last thing he should be doing was baring the true way he felt about Heidi, especially to Heidi herself. But, damn it, the instant her soft lips had met his, he’d been incapable of doing any differently. He’d lived with his desire for her for so long that he couldn’t have stopped himself if he tried.

His heart beat unevenly in his chest as he fitted himself against her slick portal. She’d given him the go ahead. That’s all he needed just now. He’d deal with the rest afterward…

Heidi shivered and curved her feet around his hips, bringing her vulva to rest solidly against his pulsing length. He watched, fascinated, as she leaned back against her arms, proudly displaying her full breasts, their pink tips seeming to scream out to him for attention. He bent to take one stiff nipple into his mouth, rolling it around like a pebble on his tongue as he entered her in one smooth, long stroke.

Her moan wound around him more tightly than her legs, reaching for something inside of him he hadn’t known was there. He slid his hands up over her hips and then under her, providing a pad against the hard surface as he pulled her slightly over the edge of the counter and then entered her again.

Sweet mercy…

She felt better than any woman had a right to.

He told himself that he was reacting so powerfully to her because he’d gone so long without a woman’s company. But he’d never been very good at lying, not even to himself.

He grasped the flesh of her bottom more tightly, holding her still as he thrust into her again, the action causing her breasts to jiggle. He gritted his back teeth, staving off climax. No. He’d waited too damn long for this for it to be over so quickly.

Kyle paced himself, slowing his strokes until his balls felt as though they might explode. Yes. That was…

Heidi’s back arched and she stretched her neck, letting loose a moan that bespoke her own pleasure. Her muscles contracted around him and she shuddered, reaching her own crisis point.

Just knowing that he was the one who had caused her so much pleasure rendered Kyle helpless to withhold his own climax.

HEIDI HAD HEARD of the morning after. But what did you call this?

Whereas she might now be seeking to cuddle with Jesse, she found herself slowly returning to the kitchen counter, hard and cold beneath her back.

Kyle appeared to be experiencing the same intrusion of reality, for while he lay against her, he was stiff and unmoving. And she guessed it wasn’t simply because he’d just come, but because he’d come while inside his best friend’s girl.

The instant she formulated the thought, Kyle pulled away from her, turning to put himself back together while she pushed up from the counter and did the same.

Oh, my God. What have I done?

Heidi had pulled on her panties and slacks and was reaching for her bra when the floor bucked under her. She grasped the counter edge for balance and closed her eyes tightly against the images of Kyle kissing her, touching her, making love to her.

She’d spent so much of her life avoiding situations like this that she had no idea what to do now that she had actually gone through one.

“Heidi?”

Kyle’s voice was soft behind her.

She held up a hand. “I’m okay.”

By okay, she meant that she wasn’t about to pass out. But she was by no means okay in the emotional sense.

“Are you sure?”

She forced herself to stand straight and take a fewdeep breaths, clutching her bra between her breasts as if the lacy material were enough to protect her against the world.

She nodded. “Yes.” She smiled at Kyle shakily without really seeing him. “I’m sure.”

She reached for her shirt and finished dressing.

Kyle cleared his throat, looking about as comfortable as she was. Which was not at all.

“Maybe I should get going…”

“Maybe you should go…”

They spoke at the same time.

Heidi averted her gaze, completely incapable of looking him in the eye for fear of what she might see there. It didn’t matter if it was the cool regard that she was used to seeing from him, or smoldering need; she didn’t think she could handle either just then.

“I’ll call you later,” he said, moving toward the door.

“No. No, don’t. Please.” Heidi swallowed thickly, hating the plaintive sound in her voice.

“Heidi…”

“Please. Just go.”

He did.




Chapter 5


HEIDI WASN’T SURE what time it was. If forced to guess, she’d say after midnight. She was fuzzy on just how she’d gotten home, or why she’d ended up sitting on the kitchen floor, beyond that she’d gone to the refrigerator to get something cold to drink after a shower and had instead slid to the floor, holding the door open with her foot so that the cold air hit her hot face. She’d long since allowed the door to close but hadn’t been able to summon the energy to get up.

She was thankful that Jesse hadn’t popped up, as he sometimes did even when she requested time alone. She didn’t know what she would have done if he had. In the state she was in, likely she would have spilled everything the moment she opened the door to him.

And then what?

She rested her head against the shelf of her bent knees and tightly closed her eyes.

God, what had she done?

She hadn’t known it was humanly possible to want something so badly that you took it regardless of the consequences, only to find those same consequences hitting you in the face the moment after the deed was done. What had been up was now down, what had been right was now wrong.

And where she had been good she was now bad.

“You’re so judgmental, Heidi. If you’re not careful you’re going to be a bitter old woman by twenty-five.”

The words were a familiar refrain from her mother and, lately, her sister.

She’d never paid much attention to them and their opinions because, well, she’d always been in the right. She wasn’t the single mother of five children from three different men, only one of whom she’d ever been married to. And now her younger sister appeared to be following in their mother’s footsteps, marrying as soon as she found out she was pregnant and then divorcing before the kid was even born.

Melody lived on and off with their mother in the same cramped clapboard house where Heidi had been raised, with little more than two nickels to rub together between them at the end of the week.

“And now I’m one of them.”

She snapped open her eyes, the words serving to jerk her out of her state of shock.

Everything had happened so quickly she’d only thought about how her actions would impact her life with Jesse. She hadn’t stopped to consider the soul searching she would have to do to understand her actions.

She’d struggled to be such a good girl all her life, but the struggle hadn’t been about defeating temptation. Every child born with the name Joblowski had a soiled reputation from day one, and Heidi was determined hers wouldn’t be justified. But even though she’d never shown interest in any of the boys throughout middle school, she’d been called Heidi Ho merely through her relationship with her mother and her younger sister Melody, who had enthusiastically lost her virginity at thirteen and rushed headlong into womanhood without a care in the world.

It wasn’t until high school and meeting Jesse that she’d achieved any kind of identity of her own, separate from her family. And she’d always be grateful to him for that.

She rubbed the heel of her hand against her forehead, trying to loosen the tight knot there.

Gathering her wits about her, she slowly got to her feet. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but whatever it was, losing Jesse wasn’t an option. She loved him. He loved her. And there was no reason not to proceed with their plans.

She moved toward the bedroom, realizing she hadn’t turned on any of the lights since she’d arrived home, relying on familiarity to find her way.

But what was familiar in her life now? Certainly not what she’d done at the café.

And what about Kyle?

She stumbled over her own feet.

What agenda might Kyle have after tonight? As Jesse’s best friend, would he feel compelled to tell Jesse what had happened?

Kyle would go back to being nothing more than Jesse’s good friend, she told herself firmly.

KYLE HAD MANAGED to avoid running into Jesse all morning, but couldn’t miss the meeting set before lunch because it was the final review of the Kitchner house. He did, however, arrive late, happy to find that things were already moving ahead without him.

“There he is,” Jesse said by way of greeting. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were avoiding me today.”

Kyle knew he meant it as a joke. He only wished that it weren’t true.

God, what in the hell had inspired him to sleep with his best friend’s girl?

The question had kept him up most of the night and he found himself alternately picking up the phone to call Jesse…and Heidi.

He’d awoken to find he hadn’t come any closer to an answer than he’d been the night before.

“Do you have the prints for the kitchen redesign?” Jesse asked.

Kyle unrolled the drawing Jesse was looking for on the worktable set up in the foyer of the thirteen-thousand-square-foot mansion they were building together. Jesse was the head of the construction team, Kyle the head architect.

“As you’ll see,” Jesse was saying to the owner, pointing at the redesign, “when we reconfigure the scheme the way you want, there isn’t room for the industrial-sized double-door refrigerator that you chose. One solution—”

Kyle peered at his friend. The issue he was discussing was two design revisions ago.

Thankfully Jesse seemed to catch himself and grimaced at Kyle before pretending the prints were upside down and turning them right again.

“Why don’t you explain it to him, Kyle?” Jesse said, looking at his watch. “There’s another appointment I need to make in fifteen minutes.”

“Sure.” Kyle stepped up, clearing his throat to regain the attention of the five men crowded around the table who were watching Jesse instead of the prints. “As you see here…”

He began explaining the proposed adjustment to the room dimensions and offered up alternatives and cost overruns. As soon as he had everyone’s attention, he switched to autopilot and watched as Jesse took off his hard hat and then climbed into his truck cab, looking as distracted as Kyle felt.

Was it possible that he knew what had happened last night? Had his friend stopped by the café? But the door had been locked, and so far as he could tell there was no way to see inside the kitchen from the parking lot.

Jesse’s tires kicked up gravel as he left the site.

Kyle frowned and finished up. “If you decide to pursue the changes, completion date will be pushed back at least five days.”

“Five days?” the owner said.

Kyle began rolling the print back up and shrugged. “It is what it is. The skeleton has already been built and the team already moved to another site. We’d have to pull them back…” He could recite the words in his sleep because he’d run into similar setbacks in nearly every project he’d worked on. Either the wife decided she wanted an Olympic-sized bathtub instead of the regular whirlpool in the original design, or the husband wanted a larger work area. It always meant delays and cost increases.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket.

He fished it out and started at the caller ID even as he finished up his spiel. Heidi.

“If you’ll excuse me a minute, gentlemen, I have to take this call.”

“I THINK Jesse knows.”

Heidi nearly dropped the plate of boneless chicken breasts she was planning to turn into croquettes for a barbecue that night. She lowered the plate to the counter then stepped away for fear of doing even more damage in her distracted state.

“What do you mean you think Jesse knows?”

“I’m not sure. Did you say anything to him?”

“Me? I haven’t even talked to him yet.” Heidi realized she was whispering even though she was alone in the house. She paced into the living room. “How about you?”

“I just saw him at a meeting, but he left quickly—like a man with something on his mind. I think he might be on his way to see you.”

“Here? Me?”

Heidi stopped cold in the middle of the living room, no longer whispering but bordering on shouting.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

“Heidi? Are you still there?”

Yes. Unfortunately she was.

She made a choking sound thatwould have to pass for confirmation as she edged nearer the front window and peered around the sheer curtains, looking for Jesse’s truck.

“Actually, I’m surprised he isn’t there yet.”

“Which site are you at?”

He told her.

“That’s only a fewminutes away.When did he leave?”

“About ten minutes ago.”

She swallowed hard. If he’d been coming here, he surely would have arrived by now.

“He hasn’t called?”

“No.”

“You’ve had your phone on?”

“Of course I’ve had my phone on. I may not like what happened, but I’m not about to hide from it.”

Or whatever happened as a result of it.

She’d worked on various explanations all morning while cooking for the Johnson barbecue, where she would be both caterer and guest…along with Jesse and probably Kyle and half of Fantasy, Michigan.

“Are you going to tell him?” Kyle asked quietly.

Heidi bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know yet. What about you?”

“I’m kind of playing this by ear.”

She heard him curse, cutting off her need to do the same.

Heidi resumed her pacing, staring at the empty driveway every time she headed in that direction.

If Kyle was right, and Jesse planned on coming to the house, she’d have to face him and make her decision about how to handle the situation sooner than she would have liked. But if given a choice between sooner or later, she supposed it was probably better to get everything out in the open now. If only so they could begin the healing process.

“You know, there’s always the option of not telling him,” Kyle said softly.

Heidi gripped the telephone receiver tightly, vivid images of his hands against her skin, the expression on his face as he’d reached climax sliding easily through her mind.

“I know,” she whispered.

She heard another voice on his end and he said, “Look, I’ve got to go.”

“Sure,” she said. “Okay.”

“Is he there yet?”

Heidi checked through the curtains again. “No. Not yet.”

“Okay.”

She wanted to ask what he was thinking, but decided she had enough to work out without adding his troubles.

“Heidi?”

“What?”

She realized her voice sounded a little impatient, but, damn it, she figured she was entitled.

So she’d experienced a weak moment. She was only human, right? Surely Kyle should have been the stronger one, stopping what should never have started after she’d kissed him.

“If you need anything…” he said.

“Yeah. I know where to find you.”

“Just call.”

Oh, trust me, she thought. I will.




Chapter 6


JESSE HAD never shown up, as Heidi had both feared and hoped would happen. And now that dusk was falling in the nicely decorated backyard of the Johnson’s house, and the townsfolk were gathering for a good old neighborhood barbecue, Heidi had never felt more drained in her life.

It was more than not getting much sleep the night before. Or the fact she’d spent the past nine hours cooking and baking for over a hundred people.

It was her conscience weighing on her like a two-ton truck.

People, both those she knew and strangers, complimented her on the spread, which was impressive by any standards. Homemade baked beans with strips of crisp bacon. Heaping bowls of potato salad, both the creamy and German varieties. Pasta salads, slabs of ribs that only needed to be placed on the grill and slathered with sauce before serving. Chicken croquettes, along with the expected hamburgers and hotdogs, made gourmet by her own seasoning blend and served in homemade cheese-and-onion buns with spicy chili.

Then there was the dessert table…

“Have you seen him yet?”

The sound of Kyle’s voice against the back of her neck as she wiped ketchup from the linen tablecloth made her jump.

“Whoa,” he said, touching her arm to steady her as she turned to face him. As he looked at her, his expression relaxed and a warm gleam entered his eyes.

Heidi swallowed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be standing so close.”

“Why?”

“Because normally you wouldn’t be caught dead within five feet of me, that’s why.” Her gaze darted around the diners. “People will get the wrong idea.”

“And what idea’s that?”

“That we’re suddenly a couple.”

“And that would be so bad how?”

Heidi opened her mouth then snapped it shut. “Are you serious? Tell me you’re not serious.”

Laughter caught her attention. Familiar laughter.

She pushed Kyle away and craned her neck to watch Jesse heartily greeting other guests. The setting sun gave his dark hair highlights of spun gold and deepened his tan. She remembered as a teen, seeing him running from the football field for the first time in similar light. Her heart had pitched to her feet and sprung up again straight into the sky. Then he’d grinned at her and she’d dissolved into a puddle at his cleats.

Had that really been so long ago? When was the last time she’d felt that desire to lie down before him, offer herself up as a sort of human sacrifice?

Don’t be silly, she ordered herself. She was an adult now. And adults didn’t do that.

Her gaze slid to Kyle and her knees weakened.

“There’s my girl!” Jesse was in front of her and swept her up into his arms. A habit of his that had become irritating to her lately. And now was no exception.

“Would you stop?” she said, swatting at his wide shoulders. “Put me down.”

Heidi cringed, not liking the way she sounded.

Jesse placed her feet on the ground and then gave her a big kiss. She stared at him, wide-eyed.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said into her ear. “You know I hate it when you avoid me.”

“I’ve been busy,” she said automatically, even though a small voice at the back of her mind told her that he hadn’t tried to contact her once all day.

“I can see that. I’m starving. What’s on tap?”

KYLE GRIMACED at the scene before him. Jesse and Heidi were every bit the head cheerleader and captain of the football team.

And every bit the couple.

Damn. What had he been thinking by suggesting to Heidi that he wouldn’t mind if guests mistook them for being more than friends? She was his best friend’s girl, for God’s sake. If anything, he should be able to keep that simple thought in his lust-addled brain.

And he’d come to the reluctant conclusion that was what lay at the root of his attraction to Heidi. Lust. Pure and simple. He’d wanted what he couldn’t have. She’d been the forbidden fruit and he’d plucked her just because he could.

And now he was paying the price.

He rubbed the back of his neck and forced himself to turn away from watching Heidi help Jesse fill his plate with food.

Kyle knew hardly anybody here. Which wasn’t surprising since he’d only moved to town less than a year ago. A person here and there looked familiar. Probably he’d come across them at the supermarket or gas station. He smiled and nodded his head in greeting, thinking he really should get some food himself, if just to occupy himself with something other than thoughts of Heidi and Jesse and what had transpired last night.

Had it really only been last night? He thought of Einstein’s theory of relativity and easily applied it to the situation. It felt as though at least a week had passed since he’d hungrily tasted Heidi’s luscious curves—partly because he hadn’t sampled nearly as much as he’d have liked. Mostly because, God help him, he could think of little else but savoring her again.

That was all wrong. Wasn’t it? Why couldn’t he recall the regret he’d heard in her voice earlier? Where was his honor? Shouldn’t he be more concerned with whether he was going to explain his behavior to his friend? Or how their activities might affect Heidi’s personal sense of integrity?

He caught her gaze, curious to see if he’d find his own thoughts reflected in her eyes.

Kyle cursed under his breath and headed toward the open bar on the other side of the yard. A hand hit him casually in the back. “Going for a brew?” Jesse asked. “Why don’t you get one for me while you’re at it?”




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