Honeysuckle Summer
Honeysuckle Summer
Sherryl Woods
Her devastating marriage behind her, Raylene Hammond is truly thankful for her best friends, the Sweet Magnolias. They've taken her in, shielding her from the world. Then she meets sheriff's deputy Carter Rollins, and suddenly Raylene's haven no longer feels quite so safe.Carter understands why Raylene is trapped inside. He's even taken to bringing the outside world to her. But with two kid sisters to raise, just how much time can he devote to this woman who's stolen his heart?Raylene knows Carter is a man worth loving, but she may never be strong enough to accept what he's offering. How long can she ask him to wait? Maybe they'll never have more than this one sweet summer.
Praise for the novels of New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author SHERRYL WOODS (#ulink_a8b4c9b3-756a-5d2e-ac11-7b4eb5dd31dc)
“Sherryl Woods writes emotionally satisfying novels about family, friendship and home. Truly feel-great reads!”
—#1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Macomber
“Deeply emotional, the third Chesapeake Shores book is quite absorbing. The characters have real chemistry—as well as a way with one-liners.”
—RT Book Reviews on Harbor Lights
“Sparks fly in a lively tale that is overflowing with family conflict and warmth and the possibility of rekindled love.”
—Library Journal on Flowers on Main
“Launching the Chesapeake Shores series, Woods creates an engrossing…family drama.”
—Publishers Weekly on The Inn at Eagle Point
“A lively, upbeat story that sparkles with holiday fun and tugs at the heartstrings.”
—Library Journal on Welcome to Serenity
“Compulsively readable…a universal tale of friendship’s redemptive power.”
—Publishers Weekly on Mending Fences
“Redolent with Southern small-town atmosphere, this emotionally rich story deals with some serious issues and delivers on a number of levels.”
—Library Journal on A Slice of Heaven
“Sweetly satisfying, clever characters and snappy, realistic dialogue…a delightful read.”
—Publishers Weekly on About That Man
Honeysuckle Summer
Sherryl Woods
www.mirabooks.co.uk (http://www.mirabooks.co.uk)
Dear Friends (#u09e8b818-9fd9-541b-9190-eba33779cfbe),
Setting out to write a book with an agoraphobic heroine was probably pure insanity. And yet those of you who have been keeping up with the Sweet Magnolias know that nothing is impossible when it comes to these incomparable women. Raylene Hammond simply had to have her own story.
For a victim of domestic violence, any future can be filled with uncertainty and fear, but for Raylene the fear is so overwhelming that she’s retreated to the home she shares with her friend Sarah and simply hasn’t left. Add in the threat that her ex-husband could once again come after her when he’s released from prison, and there’s a very real chance that she will never conquer those fears.
It would take an amazing man to walk into such a situation and put his heart on the line. Carter Rollins is such a man. Though they get off to a terrible beginning, he quickly becomes Raylene’s staunchest supporter. He’s kind, patient and, most of all, determined. He offers her hope for a brighter future than she’d imagined possible.
I hope you’ll enjoy this final story about the Sweet Magnolias. I wish each of you loyal and lasting friendships to get you through the tough times and to fill your lives with laughter…and maybe the occasional margarita!
All best,
Contents
Cover (#ubeb3a959-ccd2-5d2f-a340-3690a4d5babc)
Praise (#ud1986dc5-20a8-5d5f-a2c2-f775e653e66e)
Title Page (#u7115722c-60f3-5914-862a-e12eb3f5f36e)
Letter to Reader (#u700ee2a6-ae99-55da-b6e7-223f594be5ec)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Epilogue
Questions for Discussion
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
1 (#ulink_101817a3-1344-5f82-a3cd-22375cad3cdf)
Raylene stood in the kitchen doorway on a day that was surprisingly cool for the first of June. She stared in dismay at the backyard where Sarah’s children, Tommy and Libby, had been playing not two minutes before. Now only two-year-old Libby was in sight. She was standing next to the open gate of the fenced-in yard.
Tommy’s absence immediately set off panic in Raylene. “Libby,” she called. “Sweetie, come here. Where’s Tommy?”
Toddling to Raylene, her big eyes filled with tears, Libby pointed in the direction of the street.
“Come inside,” Raylene commanded. She could only deal with one missing child at a time. Raylene scooped up Libby, then raced toward the front door and flung it open to peer up and down the block. Tommy was nowhere in sight. Barely five, he couldn’t have gone too far in the time she’d been in the kitchen, she assured herself. She’d turned away just long enough to put a few cookies on a plate and pour three glasses of lemonade. Two minutes, maybe three.
Normally she would have brought the kids inside when the sitter left to run an errand, but it had been such a beautiful day, she’d decided to let them continue playing in the yard. What had she been thinking? She’d been terrified ever since she’d moved in with Sarah and her family that something like this would happen on her watch. She’d taken every precaution she could think of to avoid it. Now, just one slip and all her worst fears were coming true.
Opening the door, she shouted at the top of her lungs. “Tommy!” She managed to inch over the threshold, but just barely. The panic she’d felt upon discovering Tommy was gone multiplied a thousandfold as she tried to force herself to take the next step and then the next. It took every bit of willpower she possessed not to scramble right back inside. She clutched Libby so tightly that the little girl whimpered in protest.
“Sorry, baby,” Raylene soothed.
Again, she shouted for Tommy, but there was no response. Frustration warred with terror.
Tommy knew the rules. He knew, even if he didn’t understand, that she couldn’t leave the house to go chasing after him. He was also an adventurous preschooler for whom rules meant very little. He couldn’t possibly comprehend that the thought of leaving the safe haven of their home terrified her. Sometimes it was beyond her understanding, too.
Ever since Raylene had run from her abusive husband, she’d grown increasingly housebound, scared of everything beyond the boundaries of these walls. It didn’t seem to matter that Paul Hammond was safely locked behind bars, at least for a few more months. She couldn’t make herself leave the house. If anything, she’d been getting worse, not better.
She forced herself to inch down the last step and onto the sidewalk, fought the fear clawing its way up the back of her throat, the trembling in her limbs. Unable to take one more step, she shouted again and again.
“Tommy Price! You get back in this yard right this minute!”
She scanned the street in every direction, fully expecting him to pop out from behind a bush, a lopsided grin on his face at having won some misguided game of hide-and-seek.
Instead, there was no sign of movement on the quiet, tree-lined street. Any teens were inside playing video games or doing homework. The younger children on the block were probably indoors having an after-school snack. An hour from now, more than likely there would be a dozen kids who could tell her in which direction Tommy had gone, but for now there was no one in sight.
Raylene tried to calm herself with the reminder that Serenity was a safe town, and small enough that almost anyone would recognize Tommy and bring him straight home. Unfortunately, those thoughts warred with too many dangerous possibilities.
She tried telling herself that if a stranger had approached, one or both of the kids would have screamed. They’d been drilled often enough to be alert to that kind of danger. Even Libby was old enough to be wary of anyone she didn’t know. That Raylene hadn’t heard any fearful shouts was some consolation.
All of this went spinning through her head in what seemed like an eternity, but was probably no more than a couple of minutes. She had a choice to make. She could fight her fears and try to go farther than the front steps, or she could call for help. Given her inability to leave the house for so long, she opted for being smart over saving her pride. Not wanting to waste another precious second, she punched in 911 on the portable phone.
Her second call was to the Serenity radio station where Sarah had a morning show of talk and music. She often stayed after the show ended to book future guests. It was the station owner and Sarah’s soon-to-be husband, Travis McDonald, who took the call.
“I’m so sorry,” Raylene kept telling him, trying not to break down in tears as she rambled through the story. “I swear I only looked away for a few minutes, and I tried to go searching for him, Travis. I really tried. I’m standing on the sidewalk now, and you know how long it’s been since I’ve come even this far. I’ve called the sheriff’s office. They’re sending a deputy right away.”
“It’s okay, Raylene. Everything’s going to be fine,” he reassured her, though she could hear the underlying tension in his normally laid-back tone. “I’ll tell Sarah what’s going on and we’ll be there in five minutes. No need to panic. Tommy’s probably playing next door. Give Lynn a call.”
“But surely she would have heard me shouting for him,” Raylene protested. “Hurry, Travis, please. I’ll try to go looking myself, but I don’t know if I can.”
Travis, bless him, didn’t criticize her for this phobia that had taken over her life. He just reassured her that he was on his way. “Call next door,” he repeated. “The number’s on the bulletin board by the phone in the kitchen. Lynn will help until we get there.”
“Of course,” she said, furious with herself for not thinking of that sooner.
But when she reached Lynn, the neighbor reminded Raylene that her daughter was in a playgroup this afternoon.
“I haven’t seen Tommy, but I’ll be right over to help with the search,” Lynn said at once.
“Don’t bother coming here,” Raylene told her. “If you could just look up and down the street toward town and maybe alert some more of the neighbors, I’ll send Travis in the other direction as soon as he gets here. Surely Tommy can’t be more than a few blocks away.”
“Will do,” Lynn promised, then hesitated. “Are you okay? Anything you need before I start hunting?”
“No, I’m fine.” In fact, finding herself with an actual role—acting as command central for news from those actually out searching—finally began to steady her nerves. This was something she could do. She could keep Libby close and safe, make calls, coordinate efforts, even wait for Tommy to wander back from whatever adventure he’d gone on. Shaking with relief that others were now doing what she couldn’t, she sat down on the top step to watch and wait.
Sitting there on the front stoop, phone and lemonade in hand, Libby in her arms, Raylene peered up and down the street for some sign of Tommy, or at least of Travis or the deputy that the sheriff’s department had promised to send.
When the wait began to seem endless, she once again tried to venture back down the sidewalk. Even though she took a deep breath and told herself she’d already done this once today, her palms began to sweat. Her heartbeat accelerated, and her breath seemed to lodge in her throat. Tears of frustration filled her eyes. She ought to be able to take this one short step, dammit! There was a crisis, and she was absolutely useless.
For the first time since she’d given in to her fears and settled for such a limited existence, she realized just how much might be at stake. Though the kids were the sitter’s responsibility at this time of day, Sarah had depended on Raylene to be her backup, to keep her children safe if she ever happened to be left in charge, even for a brief time. She’d let Sarah down, let Tommy down.
Consumed with self-derision, Raylene realized they all should have known better. Any length of time with her was too long, especially for Tommy, who had his daddy’s stubbornness and tenacity along with the conviction that he was now a big boy. He was growing more independent by the day.
Raylene should have put her foot down and refused to look after the kids at all, not for an hour, not even for five minutes. She knew Sarah was determined to convince her that she was still normal, instead of some basket case, but Raylene should have insisted that the risks were too great. If anything happened to that little boy, she’d never be able to forgive herself.
When Travis’s car squealed into the driveway and Sarah jumped out practically before he hit the brakes, Raylene nearly collapsed with relief.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” she said as Sarah hugged her fiercely and told her not to worry. It was ironic really to have Tommy’s mom consoling her, when it should have been the other way around.
Libby took one look at Travis and held out her arms. There was no question that she adored her prospective stepdaddy. Travis took Libby from Raylene’s arms and held her close.
“It’s going to be fine,” Sarah said, though her confident words were belied by the fear shadowing her eyes. “Tommy can’t possibly have gone far. What happened, anyway? Travis tried to tell me, but all I could hear was blah-blah-blah through the haze of terror that rushed through me.”
Raylene repeated the story she’d told Travis on the phone. “The sitter went to pick up a few things we needed for supper.” She glanced at her watch and saw that even after all the commotion, less than a half hour had passed. “She should be back here any second. I swear, Tommy and Libby weren’t out of my sight more than a couple of minutes. When I looked back, the gate was open and Tommy was gone. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
“Well, I can believe it,” Sarah said. “He’s as slippery as a little eel. He’s constantly escaping, you know that, even when Travis and I think we’re watching him like hawks. He’s figured out where his friends live and likes to go visit. He doesn’t grasp the concept of getting permission. That’s probably what happened today.”
“Lynn’s out knocking on doors,” Raylene said. “If that’s what happened, she should have news soon.” She met Sarah’s gaze, reluctant to stir the distrust that still existed between Sarah and her ex-husband. “I hate to bring this up, but you don’t suppose Walter stopped by and picked him up without coming inside to let me know?”
Sarah shook her head. “I’ve already called him, just to let him know what’s happening, and, to be honest, to make sure he’s making a sales call at the business where he said he’d be this afternoon. I phoned him at the business, rather than on his cell, just to be sure.”
“Thank God for that, at least,” Raylene said, just as the sheriff’s car rolled to a stop out front.
Expecting to see the familiar face of one of the longtime deputies or the paunchy form of the sheriff himself, she was stunned to see a tall, lean specimen of pure masculinity emerge from behind the wheel. He had chiseled cheekbones, thick brown hair and, when he removed his aviator sunglasses, a penetrating gaze that could spin a thousand feminine fantasies.
Furious with herself for ogling the man like a love-sick idiot despite being in the middle of a crisis, Raylene took a gulp of ice-cold lemonade to soothe her suddenly parched throat.
Anticipating a cross-examination, she steadied herself to wait, but instead, he reached out and opened the passenger door to the police cruiser. Tommy emerged, wearing an excited little-boy’s grin over the adventure he’d apparently had.
“I got to ride in a police car,” Tommy announced unnecessarily. “And I got to turn on the siren.”
Sarah knelt down and pulled Tommy into her arms. Her tears were openly flowing now. Then she held him at arm’s length and her expression turned stern. “Young man, do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? What were you thinking, leaving this yard without permission? You know you’re not allowed to go anywhere that Raylene can’t see you.”
Tommy’s chin wobbled precariously. He cast a guilty look in Raylene’s direction. “I heard the ice-cream truck, and I had my money in my pocket ’cause we knew Freddie’d be coming soon. I thought I could find him.”
Raylene nearly groaned. Of course he’d go chasing after ice cream, though Freddie Wilson usually didn’t make his rounds until late afternoon, and normally he stopped right in front of their house so Raylene or the sitter could watch as Tommy made his purchase.
“I looked and looked, but I couldn’t find Freddie,” Tommy said sorrowfully. “And then I got lost. The policeman found me. He knew my name.” He regarded his mom worriedly. “That’s okay, right? Policemen are our friends, not strangers.”
Sarah nodded. “That’s exactly right.”
“I found him over on Oak Street,” the deputy said, still eyeing Raylene with disapproval. “He took himself quite a walk.”
“It’s hot and I’m thirsty,” Tommy said. “Can Libby and me have lemonade and cookies now?”
“Lemonade, but no cookies,” Sarah told him firmly. “Then you’re going to your room so Travis and I can have a talk with you about leaving here without an adult. I suspect your daddy will have a few things to say to you, too, when he gets here.”
Sarah turned to the deputy. “Thank you so much for finding him and bringing him home.”
“No problem,” he said, then focused on Raylene. “Ma’am, if you’re in charge, you’re going to need to keep a closer eye on the children. If something like this happens again, there could be serious consequences.”
Raylene flinched at his judgmental tone, though she could hardly argue with the message. “Believe me, it won’t happen again,” she assured him.
Because as soon as she got back inside, she intended to go through the classified ads and find another place to live. She’d imposed on Sarah long enough. She’d always intended to offer to buy this house from Sarah when she and Travis were married and living at his place, but staying here until then was now out of the question. Surely Sarah would see that after what had happened this afternoon, and if she didn’t, then Raylene would enlist Travis, their friend Annie or anyone else she could think of to make sure that Sarah saw reason. After all, where her kids were concerned, Sarah couldn’t justify taking chances, not even to protect her best friend.
Unfortunately, Sarah wasn’t being reasonable. Just after dinner, Raylene had announced her plans to move out, but Sarah was having none of it. To Raylene’s surprise, Travis was on her side. Even Annie had come over toting her new baby to offer her two cents’. Raylene fully expected the entire contingent of Sweet Magnolias to turn up any second to provide backup. When they united in solidarity, they were a force to be reckoned with. Everyone in Serenity knew that.
“Just because a man none of us had ever set eyes on before this afternoon criticized you without knowing all the facts does not mean you’re going to move out,” Sarah told Raylene. “And you can just take those bags you’ve packed right back to your room and unpack them.”
“I agree,” Travis said. “What happened today could have happened to any one of us.”
“But it happened to me,” Raylene protested, “and there wasn’t anything I could do except scream for Tommy and then make phone calls. You would have been outside chasing after him. He’d never have made it all the way to Oak Street if you’d been here.”
“You did exactly what needed to be done,” Sarah argued. “You called the sheriff.”
“It wasn’t enough,” Raylene countered. “I love you for taking me in and putting up with my craziness for all this time, but it needs to stop now. I will not put your children at risk.”
Sarah frowned at her determined tone. “What I know is that my children love you. You’re one of my two best friends and right now this is your home. It’s where you feel safe. Until you feel stronger and really, really want to move out on your own, you’re staying right here with us, and that’s final.”
Raylene regarded her with a mix of frustration and amazement. “How can you want that after what happened?”
“Because I love you, you dope. And like Travis said, what happened with the kids today could just as easily have happened to me or to him.”
“Listen to her,” Annie said, cradling Meg in her arms. “Trevor gets away from me in the blink of an eye. I swear one of these days I’m going to put that boy on a leash when I take him to the mall. Who knew kids that size could move so fast? Their legs are short, for goodness’ sake. Of course, Ty has a conniption when I say that, but he’s not the one standing in a crowded mall trying to spot a kid in a sea of legs.”
She met Raylene’s gaze. “And another thing, since Trevor’s my stepson, I feel an even greater sense of responsibility in a way. If anything ever happened to him on my watch, I don’t know if Ty would ever forgive me. So you see, I do understand how you feel, Raylene. I know exactly how terrifying this must have been.”
“So do I,” Travis said, his gaze on Sarah. “Don’t you think I feel a huge weight of responsibility every time I take Libby and Tommy out with me? Sure, I’d feel that if I were their biological dad, but, like Annie said, somehow I think it’s harder being their stepparent or, in your case, the friend who’s been left in charge.”
They were wearing away at all of Raylene’s arguments. She did have one more, though. “Okay, what about Walter?” she asked Sarah. “I’m sure he has an opinion about all this. Do you want to give him the perfect excuse to file for custody?”
Right after her own divorce, any mention of a custody suit would have scared Sarah to death, but now she waved it off. “I anticipated something like this, so I asked Walter flat out if he intended to make an issue of what happened today. He told me no, and he meant it. I could tell.”
She reached over and squeezed Raylene’s hand. “He likes you, sweetie. How you’ve pulled it off is beyond me, but he considers you a friend. He acted like I was nuts when I suggested he might use this to seek custody. He told me we were past all that a long time ago, he agreed it was better for the kids to live mainly with me and he had no intention of dragging you into that kind of fight. I’ll call him right now, and he can tell you that himself, if you need to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”
“No,” Raylene said. “But you all are being entirely too understanding, Walter included. The important thing is to keep the kids safe. They’re obviously not safe with me.”
“Okay, we can deal with that,” Sarah said decisively. “From now on, you won’t stay here alone with them, not even for a few minutes, but that’s the only thing that’s going to change. This is your home, period. Don’t waste your breath trying to make me change my mind.”
Raylene sighed with frustration and, if she were being honest, a hint of relief. “I appreciate this, I really do, but I just don’t see how you can be so generous after the way I let Tommy get away from me. Anything could have happened.”
“But it didn’t,” Sarah said emphatically. “And I said it because it’s how I feel. You’re a Sweet Magnolia, just like me and Annie, Maddie, Helen, Dana Sue and Jeanette. That makes you the next best thing to a sister, okay? And families stick together.” She regarded Raylene slyly. “There is one thing you could do for me in return, though.”
Raylene braced herself. She already knew what was coming. They’d had the conversation before. “You want me to see Dr. McDaniels.” The psychologist had treated Annie years ago for an eating disorder and continued to monitor her progress whenever Annie felt herself slipping. After well over a year of watching Raylene get worse, Annie and Sarah had started pushing Raylene to consult her. Their pleas had become increasingly forceful lately. Now, understandably, they were bound to be amped up even more.
Sarah nodded. “I do. Whether you just have a panic disorder or full-blown agoraphobia, it’s time to face it, Raylene. Not just because of what happened today, but so you can get your life back. Maybe this incident today happened for a reason, to make you finally get the help you need.”
Raylene had been waging an internal battle against seeking help from the moment her friends had first mentioned it. It had probably been a ridiculous point of pride that she conquer this problem on her own. The truth was, though, that she obviously couldn’t. Whatever was going on was bigger than she was.
When she remained silent, trying to work up the courage to concede defeat and ask for help, Annie stepped in.
“Raylene, this is treatable,” Annie assured her. “You know that. I’ve shown you all the research I could find on the Internet. There’s a very good chance Dr. McDaniels can work with a physician to get you on the right combination of medicine to help, and maybe teach you some calming and relaxation techniques. Don’t let that horrific ex-husband of yours rob you of the rest of your life. Now that you’re free of him, you need to live every second to the absolute fullest. You need to meet someone new, someone who’s kind and gentle and treats you with the respect you deserve. We all want that for you.”
“And you think I’ll meet that kind of man in Serenity?” Raylene scoffed with some of the leftover snobbishness she’d been taught by her mother, a Charleston socialite who’d married a local man, then found herself stuck in Serenity and had chafed at every minute of her life here.
“I have,” Sarah reminded her, glancing over at Travis, who gave her a wink. “So have Annie and Jeanette. And look at the men in Maddie, Dana Sue and Helen’s lives. They’re all amazing. And, if you don’t mind my saying so, that highly educated blueblooded doctor you met in Charleston wasn’t exactly a catch, now was he?”
Raylene’s lips quirked despite the reminder of just how awful Paul Hammond had been.
“You have me there,” she admitted. “Although a man is the last thing on my mind at the moment, I will call Dr. McDaniels.” Because she’d made the promise at least a dozen times before, she knew it probably sounded empty now. “I mean it. I’ll do it this time, first thing in the morning. You can stand right by the phone and listen in, if you want to. I owe you that much for sticking by me despite what happened.”
“You’re not doing it for me,” Sarah corrected. “You’re doing it for yourself. You need to concentrate on that. And I don’t need to listen to the call, Raylene. If you make a promise, you’ll keep it.”
Raylene was grateful for the trust Sarah had in her word. She just wasn’t so sure she deserved either the trust or a future. That was one more aftereffect of living with a man who’d literally and figuratively beaten her into submission for way too long before she’d wised up and left. That it had taken her years, rather than minutes, would shame her forever. That it had cost her the baby she’d been carrying had left her with the kind of gut-wrenching guilt from which she couldn’t imagine ever recovering.
Even she recognized that she’d been punishing herself by locking herself away in this house. Paul might be serving his time in prison, but she’d been serving her self-imposed sentence right here. Even now, she wasn’t a hundred percent certain she deserved to have it end, but today the stakes of doing nothing had increased to a level she could no longer ignore.
2 (#ulink_883f97e5-f188-59de-919a-d182f6eaf860)
Carter Rollins had taken one look at the woman standing on the front stoop at Sarah Price’s house the day before and labeled her some kind of expensively clad snob who thought she was too good to get her hands dirty. The fact that she’d been standing around, rather than looking for the missing boy, had grated on him. It had cemented his first impression that she was a selfish, overindulged, irresponsible female. If it had been up to him, he’d have found some way to charge her with child neglect on the spot.
Unfortunately, he’d learned a few things since moving to Serenity. It was a tight-knit, friendly community that stuck together. Unless he had the law very firmly on his side, it was best to handle things with that in mind.
WSER might not be the most powerful radio station in the state, or even in the region, but its owner, Travis McDonald, and star personality, Sarah Price, were local celebrities. He’d heard about their very public romance when he’d first arrived in town. Everybody in Serenity, it seemed, loved a love story. If Travis and Sarah intended to back up this woman, then there was very little Carter could do about it. And their protective attitude toward her yesterday had been as unmistakable as it was unfathomable.
The next time, though—if there was one—he wouldn’t hesitate to handle things differently, local politics be damned. He’d involve the child protective authorities in a heartbeat.
It was his job to protect people, especially innocent kids. Finding Tommy Price wandering alone several blocks from home had stirred his anger, so he didn’t much care who was on that babysitter’s side. Next time, he’d haul her in.
“Why do you look so grim?” his sister Carrie asked, eyeing him warily as he set an assortment of take-out boxes from the local Chinese restaurant on the kitchen table.
“Just a bad day,” he told his fifteen-year-old sister. One of these days, one of them—he, Carrie or his other sister, Mandy—was going to have to learn to cook. Beyond throwing meat, chicken or fish on a grill, he was pretty useless in the kitchen. Carrie had once excelled at baking chocolate-chip cookies from a package, though lately she’d refused to bake them for reasons beyond him. Mandy could make popcorn in the microwave and scramble eggs. When they’d moved and his hours had become more predictable, he’d vowed to change their pitiful culinary ineptitude, but so far, they mostly existed on takeout. Sadly, the variety in Serenity was pretty slim.
“You’ve had a lot of bad days since we moved to Serenity,” Mandy noted. She was the younger of the girls for whom he’d had full responsibility since their parents’ deaths two years ago. “Wasn’t that the whole point of moving here, so you’d be in a better mood? I have to tell you, big brother, I don’t think it’s working.”
Carter frowned at her interpretation of the decision he’d made to leave his police job in Columbia for a smaller community. “We’re here because this is a better environment for the two of you.”
“In other words, because it’s totally boring,” Carrie said, disdain in her voice. “You didn’t want us to have fun ever again.”
“No, I wanted you to be safe,” Carter countered, passing the kung pao chicken.
“Then how come you had a bad day?” Carrie persisted, scooping a tiny spoonful of rice onto her plate and adding a few of the vegetables from another container. It was barely enough to feed a bird, but Carter resisted pointing that out. His comments inevitably led to an argument.
“If it’s so safe, your days should be dull as dirt,” she added, her expression challenging.
He shook his head at her logic. “A little boy went missing this afternoon.”
Carrie immediately looked chagrined. “But you found him, right? And he was okay?”
“He was fine. He’d gone looking for the ice-cream truck.”
Carrie looked relieved. “So it all turned out okay,” she concluded. “You should be happy.”
“I’m just irritated that he got away from the woman who was supposed to be watching him in the first place,” he admitted.
Mandy gave him an incredulous look. “Oh, come on! You used to run away from home all the time. Mom and Dad told us. Mom said it’s why her hair turned gray.”
Carter winced. They were enough younger that he hadn’t realized they would know about his own adventures on the wild side when he was only a few years older than Tommy Price. “That was different,” he claimed.
“How?” Carrie asked. “You scared Mom and Dad to death, and you did it deliberately. It sounds as if this little boy just went on an innocent search for ice cream.”
“You’re missing the point. Anything could have happened to him.”
“Anything could have happened to you, too,” Carrie said. “Do you blame Mom and Dad for letting you sneak away?”
He saw he wasn’t going to win this argument. Truthfully, he very rarely came out on top with these two. They could twist him in knots faster than anyone else in his life. Worse, now that they were both in their teens, the dangers were even greater and his influence on them was still shaky. They were all still getting used to the idea that he was in charge, and not just a bossy big brother anymore.
“It was different,” he repeated. “I was older than this little boy. I could take care of myself.”
“You were six the first time you ran away,” Mandy corrected. “Dad said he followed you until it got dark. You finally got scared at some noise or a shadow or something and ran home.”
Carter scowled. “Did they tell you every stupid thing I ever did?”
Carrie grinned impudently. “No, they pretty much glossed over all the stuff you did with girls. We just know there were a lot of them.”
“Ancient history,” Carter said. And given how much trouble these two were likely to be, he couldn’t imagine having time for any kind of relationship of his own in the near future.
“Too bad,” Mandy commented, her expression thoughtful. “You might mellow out if you had a girlfriend. I hear not having sex is tough on guys.”
“We are so not discussing my sex life,” he declared emphatically, feeling heat climb into his cheeks. He supposed he should be grateful that the girls still thought they could say anything to him, but not if one of those topics was going to be his personal relationships…or lack thereof.
Carrie’s eyes brightened. “Hey, we could work on finding someone for you,” she suggested eagerly.
“I do not need you to pick out a woman for me,” he said, horrified by the thought. “I have enough on my plate right now, anyway, so just forget it, okay?”
Both girls shrugged.
“Whatever you say,” Mandy said. “But if you’re cranky all the time, don’t blame us.”
Carter shook his head. “Give it a rest. I am not cranky all the time.”
Carrie gave him a disbelieving look, then turned to her sister. “He’s in denial, right?”
“Lives there,” Mandy confirmed.
And then they were gone, leaving him to clean up their take-out meal and to wrestle with the possibility that his overall mood these days was less than cheery. Thinking about this afternoon’s events certainly wasn’t doing a thing to improve that, and something told him he was going to be lying awake all night wondering why that was. Was it really about what might have happened to Tommy Price? Or was it about the woman to whom he’d taken an instant dislike?
When morning rolled around and the girls had left for school, Carter reported for duty at the sheriff’s department, then told the dispatcher he was going to patrol in Serenity unless a call came in and he was needed elsewhere.
“You’re not doing a drive-by in Tommy Price’s neighborhood, are you?” Gayle Kincaid asked.
Carter frowned at her astute guesswork. “What makes you think that’s where I’m headed?”
“Because I’ve been in this job for thirty years, and I saw the way you looked when you got back here yesterday afternoon,” she told him. “Your eyes were as dark as any storm cloud I ever saw. Spotted a few flashes of lightning in there, too.”
“What did you expect? I found that boy blocks from home,” he said in his own defense. “Why wouldn’t I check to make sure someone’s keeping a closer eye on him today?”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t, but if you take every case to heart like this, you’ll burn out before you turn thirty, which as I recall is only a few months from now.”
“I’m just riding around a neighborhood,” he told her. “I don’t think we need to worry about my mental health just yet. Call me if you need me.”
“Will do,” she said. “By the way, Sarah Price has been singing your praises on the air this morning. I imagine you’re a real hero around town by now.”
Carter wondered how she’d feel about him if he decided he had to take some kind of action against her babysitter, but he left that unsaid.
A few minutes later, he was cruising past the little bungalow looking for any sign that something might be amiss this morning. He heard kids squealing with glee in the backyard and caught a glimpse of Tommy and his younger sister—Libby, as he recalled—swinging on a swing set, being pushed by someone unfamiliar. Not much more than a teenager, from the looks of it, but still it had to be an improvement over the alternative. For an instant, relief washed over him. Maybe Sarah Price had fired the irresponsible woman and hired someone new already. If so, his worries were over.
Just as that thought crossed his mind, though, the back door swung open and the other woman called out, “Breakfast’s ready.” She turned her head, spotted him, and Carter swore he saw the blood drain out of her face. The screen door immediately slammed shut.
He waited until the kids and the other woman went inside before driving off. He was more confused than ever now. The woman from the day before was still there, but what was her role beyond dressing up the scenery?
Once again, she’d been wearing a pair of slacks and a blouse that he’d bet his entire month’s salary had cost a fortune. Thanks to Carrie and Mandy, who were obsessed with designer fashion, he recognized pricey clothes when he saw them. He’d spent too many hours listening to tearful pleas from his sisters for the latest jeans or fancy shoes. They didn’t seem to understand just how tight money was since their parents had died with little savings and only a minimum amount of life insurance. Added together, it had been barely enough to cover funeral expenses. He refused to touch the money they’d put aside for the girls’ college education. Instead, he tried to add a little to it each month, which further eroded the amount he had for basic expenses.
Nor did Carrie or Mandy seem to care that he was woefully inept at the whole parenting role that had been thrust upon him at the age of twenty-seven. They rarely cut him a break of any kind, but that was another issue.
Thinking about the boatload of responsibility that he’d struggled with for the past couple of years made him even more annoyed at how the babysitter had just let Tommy take off yesterday afternoon. If someone was going to take on the job of looking after someone else’s kids, then by gosh, they ought to be focused on it and not sitting around in the kitchen reading fashion magazines, or whatever, while the kids ran wild and put themselves in danger. He’d turned his life upside down to take care of Carrie and Mandy, hadn’t he?
He still had half a mind to park the cruiser, barge inside and warn her that if her friend hadn’t been so nice, a child-negligence charge could have been brought against her. Maybe that would get her attention so she’d take the job seriously. Then, again, maybe watching the kids wasn’t her job. Maybe she was some flighty relative who was visiting temporarily. He realized he needed more evidence—scratch that, more information—before he put his job on the line by stirring up a ruckus.
He decided to give the matter some more thought over an early lunch at Wharton’s, which made the only decent burger in town, and at a price he could afford on his paltry deputy’s salary. Most days, he made himself peanut butter and jelly or bologna sandwiches, same as he did for the girls.
Half a dozen locals greeted him as he slid into the red vinyl booth. Mayor Lewis, whom he’d met making the rounds of local officials after taking the job, stopped by the table before he could even place his order.
“Heard what happened with Sarah’s boy yesterday. Glad it turned out okay,” the mayor said. “Nice work.”
“I got lucky. I spotted Tommy on the second street I canvassed,” Carter told him. He hesitated, then asked, “Mind telling me what you know about the woman who was supposed to be watching him?”
The mayor blinked in apparent confusion, then nodded. “Oh, right. The babysitter’s just out of high school and working for Sarah until she goes off to college. Laurie Jenkins. She’s a good girl.”
Carter shook his head. That must have been the woman he’d seen in the backyard this morning. “This was someone older, mid-twenties, I’d say, about the same age as Sarah.”
Howard’s expression brightened. “Ah, you must mean Raylene.”
“We didn’t meet, but I suppose that’s who it was. Tall, too thin, dark hair. Looks like she belongs in a fashion magazine.”
“That’s Raylene, all right,” the mayor confirmed. “She and Sarah Price go way back. She’s tight with Annie Townsend, too. Have you met her? She’s married to Ty Townsend, a local boy who pitches for the Braves.”
This wasn’t the first time Carter had noticed how much the mayor liked to talk once he got wound up. Usually the meandering chitchat got on his last nerve, but this time he found the topic fascinating. He waited for more, and Howard didn’t disappoint him.
“Those three girls—Raylene, Annie and Sarah, that is—were best friends from about the time they could walk,” the mayor continued. “Never saw one without the other. Raylene was living over in Charleston for a while. Married a highfalutin doctor, as I recall. Then there was trouble of some kind and she came back here. She’s been stayin’ with Sarah ever since. Doesn’t get out much from what I hear.”
“Is she actually living with them, then?” Carter asked, wondering why a woman who could afford that expensive wardrobe would be living in a little bungalow with a family that wasn’t her own. Maybe it had something to do with that trouble she’d been running from.
“Far as I know, she’s there permanently.” Howard Lewis regarded him with curiosity. “Haven’t seen much of her, but she used to be a pretty little thing. You interested?”
“Not a chance,” Carter said fiercely. “The only thing I care about is making sure she doesn’t let those kids go roaming around on their own again. Next time, things could turn out a whole lot worse.”
Howard frowned at his somber tone. “You feel that strongly about it, maybe you should have a talk with Travis. He’s about to become their stepdad, and he just now walked in the door.” He beckoned the man in question over to the booth. “You two musta met yesterday. Travis McDonald, Carter Rollins.” He stepped aside and gestured for Travis to sit. “I’ll leave you both to your meals.”
Presented with the opportunity, Carter laid out his concerns for the man seated opposite him. As he talked, though, Travis’s expression turned increasingly indignant.
“Nobody loves those kids or is more protective of them than Raylene,” he told Carter. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“She didn’t do much to keep Tommy safe yesterday afternoon, now, did she?” Carter said. “I didn’t see her combing the streets to find him. No, indeed, she stood right there on the front steps and waited for everyone else to get the job done.”
Travis leveled a hard look at him that gave him pause. “I thought folks in police work were supposed to wait till the evidence was in before jumping to conclusions.”
“I saw all the evidence I needed to see,” Carter insisted, refusing to back down. “It was plain as day what happened. She didn’t take her responsibility seriously, and Tommy wandered off and could have gotten himself run over or kidnapped or who knows what. I’d think you’d be as concerned about that as I am.”
Despite the dire picture Carter painted, Travis didn’t back down. “Did you notice that even after Tommy came home, Raylene never left that front stoop?”
“Probably too guilt-ridden,” Carter assessed, dismissing the odd behavior that, frankly, hadn’t struck him at the time as anything other than a complete lack of caring. “Or scared I was going to arrest her on the spot.”
“No, it’s because she couldn’t,” Travis said, heat in his voice. “She has something called agoraphobia, at least that’s what Sarah and Annie think. Hasn’t left the house but once or twice since she moved in and that was well over a year ago, after she arrived here all battered and bruised from her abusive husband. Just think about that for a minute, why don’t you?”
He leaned in closer to hammer his point home without raising his voice. “That front stoop is as far as Raylene can make herself go without having a full-blown panic attack. When she phoned me yesterday, right after calling the sheriff’s office, she’d made it to the sidewalk and was beside herself that she couldn’t take another step. In fact, she was so guilt-ridden, she wanted to move out so the kids would never be at risk again.”
“Maybe she should,” Carter said, though he was beginning to see another side to the story, one he wasn’t quite ready to believe.
Travis’s scowl deepened. “Not happening,” he said emphatically. “For the record, she’s not the babysitter. In fact, she’s the one who insisted we hire someone else to look after the kids because of her panic attacks. She was only alone with them yesterday because Laurie ran to the store for a few minutes.”
Carter had heard of that kind of phobia, but he’d never run across anyone who suffered from it. Agoraphobia had always struck him as some sort of psycho-babble explanation people used as an excuse to avoid things they didn’t want to do. Given how seriously Travis seemed to be taking it in Raylene’s case, maybe he’d been wrong.
Still regarding Travis with skepticism, he said, “Honest to God? You’re sure she’s got a real problem?”
Travis nodded, then slid out of the booth, leaving his menu untouched. Apparently he’d lost his appetite.
“Next time you might want to do a little more investigating before making judgments,” Travis suggested mildly. “People in this town don’t take kindly to newcomers talking trash about one of our own. If you’re going to do any good in this community, you’d do well to remember that.”
He walked away and left Carter feeling like a jerk. Okay, maybe he’d been well intentioned, but he sure as hell hadn’t been fully informed, just the way Travis said. It was a good lesson for him. To his surprise, he realized that even though he hadn’t made a single accusation to Raylene’s face, he felt as if he owed her an apology.
And one of these days, when he’d managed to swallow his pride, he’d have to deliver it in person.
Walter dropped by Sarah’s house on his lunch hour. He’d seen the guilt in Raylene’s eyes the day before, and it had gotten to him. He might not be the most sensitive guy on the face of the earth, but somehow he felt connected to her. They’d both been down some bumpy roads and were still struggling to find their way.
During all the time his relationship with Sarah and his kids had been on shaky ground, Raylene had bridged the gap. She’d talked to him in her frank, un-censored way and made him see his own flaws. If things were better now between him and his ex-wife, it was at least in part due to Raylene. He didn’t want to see her worrying herself sick over what had happened, and he knew, without a doubt, that she would be.
“Did you stop by to make sure the kids are safe?” she asked when he walked into the kitchen.
Walter frowned at her. “Never any question about that, and you know it. Now stop beating yourself up over what happened.”
She regarded him with surprise. “Sarah told me you weren’t mad at me, but I didn’t entirely believe her.”
“Didn’t I tell you the same thing when I was here last night?”
“I thought maybe you’d have second thoughts once you’d had time to reflect about what happened.”
“Well, I didn’t, which is exactly why I’m here again today. I wanted to be sure you knew I don’t blame you.” He grinned at her. “And since I’m giving up my lunch break to come over here, how about fixing me one of those fancy salads of yours? I’m gaining too much weight living on burgers from Wharton’s and pizza from Rosalina’s.”
“Isn’t it way past time for you to find your own place and fix your own lunches?” Raylene said, though she immediately pulled lettuce, tomatoes and other ingredients from the refrigerator. “Now that you know it’s going to work out selling ads for the radio station, it’s time, Walter. The kids need a real bedroom so they can spend the night with you. Nice as it is, the inn’s no place for them for more than an hour or two.”
He shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to the inn. They’ve given me a decent monthly rate, and there’s no housekeeping or upkeep.”
Raylene shook her head. “You are downright pitiful. You spent way too many years being waited on, didn’t you?”
He grinned unrepentantly. “Probably. The truth is, though, that I haven’t had ten minutes to string together to go house hunting, much less enough money put aside for a down payment,” he said. “The house in Alabama still hasn’t sold because the real estate market over there sucks. It’s a mill town and people are losing their jobs. Their homes are going into foreclosure. The market’s glutted, but I did finally get a solid lead on a buyer last week.”
“Well, then, it’s time to start looking here,” Raylene said optimistically.
“Not until the deal’s closed,” Walter insisted. “Too many things could go wrong. I can’t just rely on what I’m making at the station. The pay’s not that great. Travis is working on getting approval for a stronger signal for the station. If that comes through, then I’m going to be on the road even more driving to all the new towns our signal will reach. It’ll mean more money, though.”
“You’re just full of excuses, aren’t you?” Raylene commented. “Think about this. Being on the road more is all the more reason to find a comfortable home to come back to.” She set a bowl in front of him, then handed him a light dressing. Her expression dared him to ask for his preferred blue cheese.
Walter took the vinaigrette with a sigh. “You can be such a nag. Worse, you don’t even have to say a word.”
“You’re the one who was complaining about gaining weight,” she reminded him. “Now, about the house. Why don’t you call Rory Sue Lewis. She’s working with her mother now. Tell her what you want and let her do all the legwork. Then give her an hour and see what she’s come up with. I’ll bet she can help you figure out financing, too. At the least she can make the sale contingent on selling the house in Alabama, so you won’t have that worry hanging over you. You won’t be on the hook unless the money’s there.”
“You honestly think it will be that easy?” he asked skeptically. “Rory Sue’s new at the real estate business from what I hear. Her mama’s the expert.”
Raylene got a wicked gleam in her eye. “But Rory Sue’s an expert at figuring out what men want. I’ll put money on her finding a way to satisfy you.”
Walter paused, his fork in midair, and studied Raylene’s suddenly innocent expression. “Are you matchmaking?” he asked warily.
“What if I am? You’re a free man.”
“With no spare time,” he corrected. “Between work and the kids, I have no time. I just told you that.”
“Every man will make time for women and sex,” she countered. “It’s a law of nature.”
“And women?” he queried, tossing the ball right back into her court. “You’ve been shut away in here for the better part of a year. How’s your love life?”
Rather than taking offense, as he’d half expected, she merely laughed. “Hey, I’m willing. The men just have to find me.”
Walter regarded her soberly. Despite her laughter, he found the response unbearably sad. “That’s no way to live, Raylene, and you know it.”
She sobered at once. “Not the first time you’ve mentioned that. Just so you know, I called Dr. McDaniels this morning. She’s coming here tomorrow. I guess we’ll finally get to the bottom of my problem.”
“About time,” Walter said, relieved for her.
She regarded him wearily. “That’s what all of you think,” she said. “But no one seems to be thinking about what happens if there’s no way to fix me.”
Walter heard the genuine fear behind her lightly spoken words and reached for her hand. “Then you’ll handle that,” he said confidently. “But I believe you’re strong enough to deal with anything, Raylene. I mean that. You just may be the strongest woman I know.”
Uncomfortable with the unexpected, if heartfelt, emotion, he stood up and backed away. “Now I’ve got to get back to work before Travis finds out I’m over here instead of selling airtime. You need anything after you see the doctor tomorrow, you call me, you hear? I may be a poor substitute for a Sweet Magnolia, but I am your friend, and I’ve got a broad shoulder you can lean on.”
Raylene’s eyes filled with tears. “Sure,” she said. “Thanks.”
As Walter got in his car, he thought about what had just happened. If anyone had ever told him he could have deep feelings for a woman without wanting to get her into bed, he’d have sworn they were nuts. That was the way it was between him and Raylene, though. They were friends, the kind who backed each other up, and he’d meant what he said. If she needed him, he would be here.
Of course, knowing Raylene, it would be a cold day in hell before she ever admitted needing anyone.
3 (#ulink_c8558439-1f0a-532e-8ee2-7e72f2af55b1)
Raylene wasn’t entirely shocked when she saw Helen Decatur coming up the walk after dinner on the night after Tommy’s adventure. She’d half expected the attorney to stop by and warn her about possible charges that could be filed against her if she wasn’t more careful in the future.
When she opened the door, though, Helen merely held out a bottle of tequila, a bag of limes and a can of frozen limeade.
“Time for a margarita night,” Helen declared.
“Just you and me?” Raylene queried.
Helen grinned. “Are you kidding me? Sweet Magnolias do not get to drink alone, or even in pairs. The others will be here soon.”
“Did Sarah know about this?”
Helen nodded. “She’s the one who made the calls,” she revealed as she headed for the kitchen to start making a batch of her lethal margaritas. “She thought you needed a boost to your spirits. She also said she had the Triple Sec. Any idea where I’d find it?”
As Raylene retrieved the bottle from the pantry, Helen found the blender without asking and then, with the skill of many years of practice, she put the ingredients for the frozen drinks in and turned it on. A moment later, she added crushed ice and ran the mixture through another cycle until she had an innocent-looking concoction that could fell a lumberjack.
“Sarah also thought you might want to talk about what that deputy implied when he was here,” Helen added casually, glancing at Raylene as she handed her a drink.
“You mean the implication that there would be legal consequences if Tommy ever slipped away from me again?”
Helen nodded. “If the man wants to be a hard-ass, he could probably stir up some trouble, but I’ll handle it.” She grinned and lifted a glass filled with a frothy, icy drink. “It’s taken me a little longer than expected to hit my stride again after maternity leave and my mom’s broken hip, but I’m back now. No one is tougher in court than I am.”
“I know you might relish the idea of going toe-to-toe with the deputy in court, but I think it might be wiser if I’m not in a position for anything like this to happen again,” Raylene told her. “Sarah, Travis and I are agreed, I will never be alone with the kids, not even for a few minutes. We were lucky this time, but I’m not taking any more chances.”
“Still, things can happen,” Helen said. “I’m just saying you don’t need to worry. I have your back.”
“Thank you. You came through for me with my divorce from Paul. I have enough financial resources that I haven’t had to think about trying to work. And you gave me great advice when I had to give my deposition against him for assault and abuse. I trust you implicitly, but I’m also determined that your help won’t be needed with this.”
Helen studied her intently, then nodded. “Okay, then,” she said. “Let’s get this party started.”
As if her words had been carefully timed, Sarah suddenly came into the kitchen. Annie appeared at the back door, followed by her mother, Dana Sue Sullivan, the owner of Sullivan’s restaurant, as well as Maddie Maddox, who ran The Corner Spa—which was owned by Dana Sue, Maddie and Helen—and Jeanette McDonald, who ran the day-spa services and was married to Travis’s cousin. Years ago as teenagers, Dana Sue, Maddie and Helen had formed the Sweet Magnolias, a tight circle of friends. Then they’d drawn in Jeanette, and now the new generation, which included Annie, Sarah and Raylene.
The margarita-night gatherings had become a tradition years ago, a time for the women to share their problems, their successes and a whole lot of laughter. That they’d come together for her touched Raylene in unexpected ways. She couldn’t seem to stop the tears that welled up.
“Hey, are you about to cry?” Sarah asked her.
Raylene nodded. “Afraid so. I can’t believe everyone is here just to cheer me up, especially when I’m the one who messed up.”
“Hey, little princess, it’s not all about cheering you up,” Annie said, nudging her in the side. “Some of it’s about the margaritas and Mom’s guacamole. Not that I get to drink a margarita. I’m still nursing the baby.”
“It’s a small sacrifice to make to have a healthy baby,” Raylene scolded. “And by the way, I am so not a princess.”
“Did you or did you not have a debutante ball in Charleston?” Sarah asked. “I seem to recall you looking like a princess in a fairy tale that night. You showed us the pictures often enough.”
Raylene winced. It seemed like a million years ago when her grandparents had talked her into that. That she’d gotten all caught up in the social whirl and lost focus about what really mattered in life still amazed her. She’d been persuaded to go to private school for her senior year and had lost contact with her friends.
Recently, the best part of coming back to Serenity had been finding herself surrounded by people who didn’t put on airs, live by a calendar of parties and fund-raisers, and who were totally grounded. Her friends here—Sweet Magnolias and beyond—were real. She understood the difference now and valued it.
“To my very deep regret, I did have a coming out season,” she conceded.
“There’s nothing wrong with having a big, fancy party,” Helen soothed. “In my day, I loved any chance to get dressed up and put on a pair of kick-ass shoes.” Her expression turned mournful as she held out feet clad in expensive flats. “These days I can’t stand up for more than two seconds in the kind of high heels I always loved.”
“Tonight is not about how much you miss your Manolos and Jimmy Choos,” Maddie teased.
“I was just trying to point out to Raylene that parties aren’t necessarily bad,” Helen countered.
“They are if you start thinking those kinds of events are the most important things in life,” Raylene said. “I was so determined to make my mother and grandparents happy, I forgot what mattered to me. And let’s not forget that was the night I met Paul Hammond and sealed my fate with that louse.”
Paul had been older, a medical student, in fact, but he’d come to the party as a date for a plain Jane cousin whose partner had bailed on her. He’d spent the entire evening flirting with Raylene, whose own dull date was the grandson of friends of her grandparents.
By the end of the evening she’d been smitten, and despite the difference in ages, her grandparents and even her mother had encouraged the match. Her father had clearly disapproved, but he hadn’t gone against his wife’s wishes. She and Paul had married soon after she turned eighteen, while he was serving his medical internship.
The stress of his demanding training had been the excuse for all the times he’d lost his temper with her. After a while he hadn’t bothered with excuses for what began as verbal attacks and escalated over time into more violent behavior.
The marriage had been a horror show, all the more terrifying because on the few occasions when she’d tried to tell her mother what was happening, her fears had been dismissed. She’d been told she was overreacting, and that all marriages hit rough patches. Too many times she’d been reminded of all the advantages that would come with being married to a successful doctor from a prominent Charleston family. Her relationship with her mother had been permanently damaged by Raylene’s discovery that she couldn’t count on her mother when it mattered.
Not wanting to dwell in the past, Raylene shook off the memories and took another sip of her margarita. “Let’s not go there,” she said as the others nodded readily and lifted their glasses.
“I propose a toast to Raylene and a brighter future,” Sarah said. “Do you mind if I tell them about tomorrow?”
“What’s happening tomorrow?” Helen asked.
“Dr. McDaniels is coming here to determine if I have a panic disorder of some kind that keeps me from leaving the house,” Raylene told them. “I guess we’ll find out if I’m nuts or just lazy.”
“You’re not either one,” Sarah said fiercely. “Stop saying things like that.”
“I agree,” Dana Sue said, crossing the room to give Raylene a hug. “I’m so glad you’re finally seeing her. She was a godsend to Annie, wasn’t she, sweetie?”
Annie nodded. “I’d probably be dead if not for her. I still rely on her guidance from time to time when I get scared that I’m falling into my old eating pattern. Fortunately, right now, I seem to be eating all the time. And nursing Meg seems to keep me from gaining an ounce.”
Any mention of Annie’s baby was enough to make Raylene feel a deep sense of sorrow for the baby she’d lost. Even though she’d only been in her first trimester, the baby had already been real to her. When she’d started bleeding and had miscarried just days after one of Paul’s beatings, it had been worse than anything else she’d suffered at his hands. The only blessing that had come from that awful tragedy was that she’d finally found the strength to leave him and end her marriage.
Annie gave her hand a squeeze, her expression sympathetic. Though Raylene had never mentioned losing her child to Annie, she knew Sarah had probably told her. It was one secret she was relieved not to have to talk about herself.
“Your turn will come,” Annie whispered. “I know it.”
Raylene regarded her sadly. “I’m just glad to be here with friends. I don’t need miracles.”
“But you deserve one,” Annie insisted. “And something tells me one is just around the corner.”
When Raylene saw the sheriff’s cruiser pull to a stop in front of the house, her heart climbed into her throat. She thought of Annie’s words the night before and had to choke back a laugh. Surely this wasn’t the miracle Annie had had in mind for her. She knew what the man now identified as Carter Rollins thought of her. Travis had told Sarah of their conversation, and Sarah, fit to be tied, had told Raylene after last night’s Sweet Magnolias gathering.
She watched as he crossed the front lawn with long strides and a look of purpose on his face. Was it possible he’d found some crime with which to charge her? Could he do that without Travis and Sarah wanting him to? She barely resisted the desire to grab the phone and call Helen for advice before opening the door to him.
Instead, though, she stood tall and waited. One thing she knew all too well was how to put on a facade when she was feeling scared or out of her element. She’d put on more shows in public during her pitiful marriage than any actress in a Broadway production. The minute the doorbell rang, she swung open the door and offered him her brightest smile.
“Deputy Rollins, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon. Did you stop by to check on Tommy and Libby?” she asked, seizing the initiative. “They’re taking their naps right now. I can assure you they’re in their beds, right where they belong. Laurie, the babysitter, is in the den.” She leveled a knowing look directly into his eyes. “Feel free to check if you don’t believe me.”
To his credit, he flushed ever so slightly. He removed his sunglasses, revealing hazel eyes with emerald flecks. He fiddled nervously with the glasses. “Actually I was around the corner on a call and thought I’d come by to offer you the apology I think I owe you.”
“Oh?”
“I misjudged you the other day,” he admitted, looking uncomfortable.
“Did you really?”
His lips twitched a little at her response. “I’m sure you know all about it, because Mr. McDonald was pretty indignant on your behalf.”
“He might have mentioned something about a conversation the two of you had, though he told his wife, not me,” she admitted. “Sarah filled me in.”
He nodded. “I had a feeling it would work something like that, Serenity being the kind of town it is. As Mr. McDonald informed me, folks here look after their own.”
“We certainly try to,” she agreed. She decided he’d squirmed enough and let her ingrained manners kick in. Southern women were always ready to offer a cool drink, if not an entire spread of food, at a moment’s notice. “Could I offer you some coffee? Maybe a glass of lemonade or some sweet tea? It’s another scorcher out there today. There are cookies, too, if the kids haven’t gotten to them today.”
He looked a bit startled by the invitation. “You sure?”
She gave him a thoughtful survey that brought more color to his cheeks. “Well, despite the fact that you’re wearing a gun, you don’t look all that dangerous to me, so yes, I’m sure.”
“I just thought maybe me being a stranger would make you nervous.”
“It’s not people who terrify me,” she found herself saying. “It’s everything outside this house.” She gave him a wry look. “Crazy, isn’t it, since I grew up in this town and all my problems were over in Charleston.”
“What kind of problems, if you don’t mind me asking? Travis said something about domestic violence.”
Raylene hesitated. Her disastrous marriage wasn’t something she liked to talk about to anyone, much less a stranger. If he knew about the abuse, he knew more than enough.
“It’s in the past, and I don’t like to talk about it,” she said. “Now, about that coffee, are you interested?”
“The lemonade sounds better,” he said, then followed her inside.
In the kitchen, she gestured for him to take a seat, then poured two tall glasses of lemonade over ice and handed one to him. She put an assortment of chocolate-chip and oatmeal cookies on a plate and set it on the table, then took a seat herself. Only a trained observer might notice that she sat on the edge of the chair and a safe distance away, rather than relaxing. She had a hunch that Carter noticed.
Calling on her once-instinctive social graces, she said, “Are you new to Serenity? I know you weren’t in school with us, and you seem to be about the same age.”
“I moved here a few months ago when I hired on as a deputy. It seemed like a good place to raise kids.”
His response surprised her. She’d automatically checked for a wedding band and there hadn’t been one. Of course, as she knew all too well from her philandering ex-husband, some men were adept at hiding rings when it suited their purposes. Or he could be divorced or even a widower.
“How many children do you have?” she asked.
“None of my own, but my two younger sisters are living with me. They’re fourteen and almost sixteen. Our parents died a couple of years back. We stuck it out in Columbia for a while, but I liked the idea of a small town. When a job opened up here this spring, I grabbed it. I’m hoping they’ll get in less trouble here than they might have in the city.”
Raylene chuckled, thinking of some of the mischief she, Annie and Sarah had gotten into as teenagers. “Trust me, if girls want to get into trouble, they can do it anywhere.”
He regarded her with an impudent grin. “Do tell. Just what kind of trouble did you get yourself into? If I go into the computer, will I find a dark criminal past?”
“Hardly,” she said, then grinned. “We were far too clever to get caught.”
“Really?”
She thought back over her high school years and chose one of many incidents. “Really. For instance, there was one memorable slumber party when we let boys sneak in,” she confided. “Annie’s mom, Dana Sue Sullivan…” Her voice trailed off.
“The owner of the restaurant,” he guessed.
“Exactly. She about had a fit over that one. Of course, the fact that Annie collapsed that night and wound up in the hospital pretty much trumped whatever trouble we probably would have gotten in over inviting the boys to the party.”
“What happened to Annie?”
She hesitated at talking about Annie’s personal business, but then everyone in town already knew the story. “She had anorexia. It nearly killed her.” She waved off the subject and grinned. “As for the mischief we got ourselves into, I’m sure I could tell a few other stories, if I racked my brain. And most of the teachers at the high school could probably add a dozen or more.”
He looked a little pale as he shook his head. “I’ll definitely keep that slumber party scam in mind when Carrie—she’s the fifteen-year-old—tells me she wants to spend the night with a friend. I had no idea teenage girls were so sneaky.”
“The ones I knew certainly were,” she told him.
He smiled, causing an unexpected bump in her heart rate. Then his expression sobered.
“May I ask you a personal question?” he said.
“Sure.”
“Travis mentioned something about you not being able to leave the house. Is that true?”
She nodded. Whatever embarrassment she’d once felt over her problem had faded as people in town had come to accept that if they wanted to spend time with her, they had to do it here.
“When I first came back to town, I was able to sit on the back patio. I was so relieved to be someplace safe that I didn’t realize at first that leaving here was even an issue.”
“Makes sense,” he said.
“Then, after a couple of months of healing physically and mentally, I tried going out with Sarah and Annie,” she said ruefully. “I never made it past the driveway before I’d break out in a cold sweat. My heart would start racing so fast, I was sure I was going to pass out. After that happened a few times, well, I hate to admit it, but I just stopped trying. Eventually it got so bad, I couldn’t even take a step outside.”
“Why’d you give up?”
The question was simple, but the answer was complicated. Raylene wasn’t sure she could explain it. “I suppose it just seemed easier,” she said eventually. She shrugged. “And there was no place I really needed to be, nothing I really wanted to do.”
Carter looked unconvinced. “You’re content to make this house enough for the rest of your life?” he asked incredulously.
“I suppose I haven’t let myself think long term. Right now, when I consider leaving here, the fear outweighs the joy of whatever might be out there. Forever’s not a concept I can grapple with.”
“What about the yard, at least? Can you go outside that far?”
“You know that I can’t,” she responded, meeting his gaze. “You saw me frozen in place on the top step the other day. If I could have gone farther, believe me, I would have. Knowing Tommy was somewhere out there and I couldn’t look for him was horrible. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.” She regarded him with curiosity. “Why does this matter to you? Are you that worried about the kids? Because if that’s it, you can stop. I will never have the responsibility for looking after them again.”
“For their sake, I’m relieved to hear that,” he admitted candidly. “But it strikes me as sad that you might not get to experience all that life has to offer. You’re a young, beautiful woman. You’re smart and funny. Seems to me it’s a waste to stay hidden away here.” He frowned. “Don’t you even want to get better?”
“I doubt you can understand this, but getting better, leaving this house, seems to mean more to other people right now than it does to me. I feel safe here. I love being with Sarah’s kids. People come and go all the time, and that’s what matters. I’m not alone or lonely.”
“There must have been things you enjoyed before the panic attacks started,” he protested. “Don’t you miss at least some of them?”
Raylene thought about it. She wondered if maybe this whole cycle of fear and panic hadn’t started even while she’d been married. It wasn’t that her home had been a safe haven. Far from it, in fact. But in it, she had been free of the speculation that would have spread had people in her social circle ever spotted her with the kind of bruises that had been inflicted too many times to count.
Back then she’d lived a solitary life in many ways, living for quiet moments in the garden, where she’d nurtured her fragile plants the way she’d longed for someone to nurture her. Thinking about that brought on an overwhelming sense of nostalgia.
“I miss my garden,” she said softly, closing her eyes as she remembered it—purple, white and magenta azaleas in spring, a sea of tulips, then hollyhocks, summer phlox, golden lilies, shaded beds of impatiens and a tinkling waterfall amid a fragrant collection of rosebushes.
“Planting flowers, watching the yard fill with color, even pulling the weeds. The doggone honeysuckle nearly drove me mad, but it smelled so sweet, I even loved that. And I loved the way the sun felt on my shoulders.”
In the year before she’d finally ended her marriage, she’d stopped gardening. Even now she shuddered at the memory of the rampage her husband had gone on, destroying all her hard work, leaving the rosebushes ruined, the flowers wilted and dying in a chaotic heap before he was done. In some ways, his savage attack on her garden had hurt as much as any of the physical attacks she’d endured.
Even after all this time tears filled her eyes at the memory. Suddenly she felt a warm, solid hand covering hers.
“I’m sorry,” Carter said, his expression apologetic. “I shouldn’t have pushed you. This is really none of my business.”
She forced a smile. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
She said the words, maybe even managed to sound convincing, but the truth was, she was anything but fine. The memories had touched a place deep inside that she’d almost buried and left her filled with longing.
The minute Carter Rollins left, she sank down on the sofa to await the arrival of Dr. McDaniels, relieved that she’d finally made the call, even as she was dreading what the psychologist might tell her.
Because if Carter Rollins had done nothing else with his well-timed visit and probing questions, he’d reminded her that there was a life outside these four walls—even if only as far as the backyard—that truly might be worth fighting for.
4 (#ulink_f5514870-fd7a-532f-93aa-156872327d67)
Dr. McDaniels was a thin woman in her fifties with a hint of gray threading through her short dark hair. She had the kind of reassuring smile that invited confidences and a warmth in her eyes that suggested compassion. Though Raylene had only crossed paths with her casually years ago during Annie’s hospitalization, she immediately felt comfortable with her.
“Thank you for agreeing to come here,” Raylene said as she led the way into the living room. “The sitter’s taken the kids to the park, so we won’t be interrupted.”
“Under the circumstances, I’m happy to come here,” Dr. McDaniels said. “Hopefully we can figure out what’s going on and determine the right treatment. If we can accomplish that, it won’t be long before you can come to me.”
“I don’t know,” Raylene said skeptically. “I haven’t left this house in a very long time.”
“How long?”
“I first moved in here right after I left Charleston. Back then, I could at least sit out back in the evening, but eventually even that got to be too much. I suppose it’s been a year or more since I’ve left at all.”
“Have you tried?”
Raylene shook her head. “Once I was back in Serenity and inside this house, it was like I’d used up every bit of bravery I had. I saw this as my safe haven. Thankfully I didn’t have to go back for my husband’s sentencing. He’d pleaded no contest once the D.A. showed him my deposition, along with the medical records that documented how many times I’d been to various emergency rooms, plus the condition I was in the night I lost my baby. Though the prosecutor opted not to charge him in the baby’s death, Paul didn’t want the whole messy incident coming out in court and causing an even bigger scandal for his family. The plea bargain lessened his sentence, as well.”
There was no visible reaction on the doctor’s face as Raylene reported the abuse that had driven her home to Serenity. “How long were you married?” she asked.
“Too long,” Raylene said fervently.
“And you were abused throughout the marriage?”
Humiliated, Raylene nodded. “It was mostly verbal at first, temper tantrums from the stress he was under as an intern.”
“And you thought it was your fault for triggering these bursts of anger,” the psychologist said.
Something in her matter-of-fact approach and her obvious understanding made Raylene feel less ashamed. “You’ve heard this before,” she guessed.
“Too many times,” Dr. McDaniels said. “You do know it wasn’t your fault.”
“I do now. I think I even understood that on an intellectual level back then, but when the man you love keeps hammering it home that you’re responsible if he gets angry, on some level you start to think it must be true. I was too young—barely eighteen when we married—to know better.”
“Did you consider leaving him?”
“I did leave once. I went to my mother and told her what was happening. She thought I was exaggerating. She convinced me to go back and work on my marriage, on making Paul happy. She honestly believed, I think, that I must have been doing something wrong for him to act that way.”
“How’d that make you feel?”
Tears streamed down Raylene’s face at the memory of walking away from her parents’ house that day, her suitcase in hand, what she’d seen as her only hope for an escape dashed. “Alone,” she said at once. “I’d never felt more alone in my life.”
“Couldn’t you have called someone else, Sarah or Annie, perhaps?”
“I’d lost touch with them, and I was too embarrassed, anyway. I hadn’t made any real friends in Charleston. Most were the wives of Paul’s friends, and I didn’t dare go to them.”
“So you were scared and isolated,” the psychologist concluded.
“Pretty much.”
“What finally changed to get you out of the house for good?”
Raylene swallowed hard. “We fought,” she said, not wanting to remember.
“But you’d fought before.”
“This was worse. I…was pregnant. Just a couple of months along.” Paul hadn’t been happy about the baby, but she had been. She’d wanted someone she could love unconditionally, someone to protect the way no one had protected her. In a way, she’d convinced herself that the baby would give her the strength to leave. Ironically, that’s exactly what had happened, though not in the way she’d envisioned.
Raylene buried her face in her hands and wept as she thought about that night, about the punches deliberately aimed at her stomach, the blows that had brought on a miscarriage days later. Paul hadn’t wanted her to go to the emergency room when the bleeding started, but for once she’d defied him, threatening to run screaming from the house if he didn’t let her go quietly. Naturally the threat of exposure in his own neighborhood had given him pause.
She hadn’t gone to the hospital where Paul had privileges. She’d feared his associates would help Paul to cover up the abuse. Instead, she went across town. The doctors there had been horrified. They’d known at a glance what had happened and taken enough pictures to guarantee that Paul would be convicted of a crime, even though sentencing guidelines for a first offense, even of aggravated felony abuse, were next to nothing.
When she’d declared she was leaving him, two doctors at the hospital had physically restrained Paul to keep him from following her. The moment they’d released her, she’d driven straight to Serenity and walked into The Corner Spa to see Annie.
“You’d been living in Charleston?” Dr. McDaniels said, glancing at her notes. “Is that right?”
Raylene nodded.
“How did you get over here? Did you drive yourself?”
She nodded. “I think I was in a state of shock. I barely remember making it to The Corner Spa. Then Annie brought me here.”
“And you literally haven’t left since?”
“I tried a couple of times. It was horrible. I’d get to the car and start shaking so badly that Sarah and Annie practically had to carry me back inside.”
“What do you think is going to happen if you leave the house?”
“I know it’s irrational since my ex-husband is still in jail, but I think he’s going to be there, waiting. I tell myself over and over that there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore, but I still can’t take that next step. I always thought I was pretty strong, but this has me beat.”
“Why haven’t you asked for help before?”
“I guess I felt ashamed because I couldn’t conquer this on my own. Like I said, I knew my reaction was irrational, but the fear was there just the same.” She took a deep breath, then admitted what she’d never told Sarah or Annie. “And I think I was punishing myself.”
“Because you hadn’t protected your baby?” Dr. McDaniels said at once.
Raylene nodded.
“If you can see that much, then you’ve made more progress than you realize. You understand the underlying causes of your problem. Now we just have to get busy and see what works so we can fix it.”
She said it so optimistically that Raylene took heart. “You make it sound so simple.”
“I didn’t say it was going to be simple or easy,” Dr. McDaniels cautioned. “There could be a lot of trial and error and a lot of setbacks before we get it right. Have you tried any medications?”
“None. I thought I could figure it out, you know, with some kind of mind-over-matter thing.”
“But you weren’t figuring it out.”
“I gave up,” she admitted. “I felt safe here.”
“And now? What’s changed?”
“I told you on the phone about letting Tommy slip away from the house. Not being able to go after him was the final straw. Even though Sarah and Travis said they understood and forgave me, I haven’t been able to shake the image of what could have happened.”
“So, you want to change to protect the kids?”
Raylene heard a faint hint of criticism in the question. “You think I should want it for myself.”
“Yes, I do,” Dr. McDaniels said, though not unkindly. “Despite what your ex-husband tried to make you believe, you deserve to have a full life. You have to want that for yourself. I won’t kid you, you’re not going to conquer this overnight. You’ll need a powerful motivation to deal with all the setbacks that might happen along the way.”
“Do you think the medication will help?”
“It may. I’ll consult with your physician—”
“I don’t have one here,” Raylene told her.
“Then I’ll call a colleague of mine. We’ll give medication a try. Even so, I have to be realistic. I can’t promise you a quick fix, Raylene, not to correct a pattern that’s gone on this long. Panic disorder can be complicated, especially when the fear is grounded in a traumatic incident. In your case, it’s not even one incident, but years of living in fear.”
Even though she’d expected that, Raylene felt a fresh batch of tears welling up. On some level she’d hoped Dr. McDaniels could snap her fingers, give her a few pills and the whole problem would vanish. She’d be able to live a normal life again.
“What if nothing works?” she asked, swiping angrily at the tears. It was as if she’d had a fresh start dangled in front of her then snatched away. Even though she told herself that fighting to get better was important, no matter how long it took, she’d obviously hoped for a miracle.
“Don’t be discouraged,” the psychologist said, correctly gauging her mood. “Something will work. I’m not a quitter, and something tells me you aren’t, either.”
“I don’t know how you can say that. I gave up a long time ago.”
“No, you didn’t seek help, and now you have. It’s always better late than never.” She pulled out her cell phone and made a call, apparently to the colleague she’d mentioned. After consulting for a couple of minutes, she nodded and thanked him. “He’s going to call a prescription in to Wharton’s. Someone will deliver it this afternoon. It’s an anti-anxiety medication, a relatively mild dose. We’ll give it a couple of days, then I’ll come back and we’ll try a few experiments.”
Raylene regarded her with suspicion. “Experiments?”
“See if we can get you down those front steps. If you can, so much the better. If you can’t, I’ll have an even better idea of what we’re dealing with.”
Raylene couldn’t imagine a drug on earth powerful enough to accomplish that. “I don’t know—” she began, only to have the doctor cut her off.
“It’s just the beginning, Raylene. We’ll pray for an instant cure, but we’ll work however long it takes to make it happen. The good news is that we know what’s behind the fear. For some people we don’t even have that as a starting point.”
“Okay, then,” Raylene said, her spirits bolstered slightly by the doctor’s quiet confidence.
Dr. McDaniels gave her hand a squeeze. “I’ll say it again, as often as you need to hear it—don’t be discouraged. Every recovery starts with a single step. Just look at Annie and how well she’s doing these days, then think about where we began with her. Today, you’ve taken your first step. On Friday, you’ll take your next one.” She consulted her appointment book. “Is this same time okay for you?”
“It’s fine.” Raylene chuckled. “It’s not as if I’m going anywhere.”
“But you will be,” Dr. McDaniels said. “I promise.”
When she was gone, Raylene stared after her, surprised by the sensation spreading through her. It felt a lot like hope.
She hadn’t felt anything like it since the day she’d shown up in Annie’s office and her friend had told her everything was going to be okay. After years of distrusting the person closest to her, it had been a wonder to finally believe in someone again.
Walter had his notes from the day’s sales calls spread out on a table at Rosalina’s. A half-eaten pepperoni pizza, which he’d pay for with indigestion in a couple of hours, was pushed to one side, and his second beer sat on the table untouched. He didn’t even know why he’d ordered it beyond wanting an excuse not to head back to his room at the Serenity Inn just yet.
When a shadow fell across the table, he glanced up expecting to see the waitress with his check. Instead, he found a woman wearing a halter top, short shorts and a friendly grin. She didn’t wait for an invitation, but slid into the booth opposite him.
“You’re Walter Price, right?” she said.
“I am.”
“Raylene nailed the description,” she said, looking impressed. “For a woman who doesn’t get out, she sure does know the hottest men in town.”
Walter held back a sigh of resignation. “You must be Rory Sue Lewis.”
She looked surprised. “How’d you know?”
“Raylene mentioned you. I figured sooner or later you’d turn up, whether I came looking for you or not.”
“Yeah, she’s matchmaking,” Rory Sue said without a hint of dismay. “But she also said you might be looking for a house or a condo. I could probably live without the meddling, but I never turn my back on a solid real estate lead. That’s one thing I learned from my mom.” She studied him intently. “So, are you? Looking for some property, I mean?”
“First tell me how you knew I’d be here tonight. I assume this isn’t a chance encounter.”
“Raylene said you always eat either here or at Wharton’s around six-thirty. Since I was in the mood for pizza myself, I started here.”
Walter chuckled at Raylene’s audacity in setting this up without clearing it with him, and in her apt description of Rory Sue’s methodology. “Okay, yes, I’d like to find a place to buy. I don’t have time to do a lot of looking, but if the right thing came along, I’d be interested,” he admitted. “Did she explain that I’m waiting for a deal to come through on my house in Alabama?”
“She filled me in. We can work around that. If you can spare a few minutes now to tell me what you’d like, I’ll line up the perfect places and have you all moved in by this time next month.” She eyed the remaining pizza. “Hey, are you going to eat the rest of this?”
“Help yourself.” He beckoned the waitress, then asked Rory Sue, “What would you like to drink?”
“A diet cola will do,” she said, already biting into the first slice of pizza. She sighed with undisguised pleasure. “I only allow myself to eat this once a month. It’s way too fattening otherwise.”
“I’ve noticed,” Walter said, thinking of his own expanding waistline. Maybe he would take Ronnie Sullivan up on his invitation to join him, Cal Maddox, Tom McDonald and some of the other men in town to shoot hoops sometime.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with your body,” she said, giving him a frank survey. “I did mention you’re hot, didn’t I?”
Walter had been hearing some variation of that since high school. It no longer had the power to seduce him. He’d realized how little looks mattered. He’d prefer it these days if someone told him he was living his life with integrity.
“Is that part of your sales spiel?” he asked Rory Sue.
“Nope, just an observation. I pretty much say what’s on my mind.”
“I imagine that gets you into trouble from time to time.”
“Not so much with men,” she said candidly. “They seem to appreciate knowing where they stand with me. I don’t have a lot of women friends, though.”
“Not even Raylene?”
“Not really. She, Annie and Sarah are tight, but I’m a couple of years younger.” She gave him a chagrined look. “And then there was a bit of a misunderstanding when Sarah thought I was after Travis.”
Walter was finding the conversation more intriguing by the minute. “Were you?”
“Sure,” she said with a shrug. “What woman with a libido wouldn’t have been, but he only had eyes for Sarah.” She winced, then added, “Sorry. See what I mean? I say whatever comes into my head. I didn’t think about the fact that Sarah’s your ex-wife. Does it bother you that she and Travis are together?”
Walter didn’t think the situation called for an in-depth discussion of his very complicated feelings on that subject. “My marriage was over a long time ago,” he said, and left it at that.
She regarded him skeptically. “There’s an edge in your voice that tells me you’re not as happy about that as you’d like everyone to believe.”
Surprised that she was that astute, he decided he shouldn’t sell her short again. “The situation is what it is. I thought we were going to talk about real estate.”
Rory Sue immediately sat up straighter, displaying an intriguing amount of cleavage, especially when she leaned forward and reached for a piece of paper from his notepad. “You mind?” she asked, also borrowing his pen. “Okay, let’s get started. Describe the perfect house.”
Walter thought of the large colonial he and Sarah had lived in back in Alabama. It had been chosen by his mother, mostly because it was the largest house in the most impressive neighborhood in town. He’d never felt comfortable there. Nor had Sarah, though she’d done her best to make the echoing, too-large rooms seem cozy and inviting.
“Something small,” he said at once. “Three bedrooms, a couple of baths, maybe a patio out back. A nice yard for the kids. Nothing fancy.”
“You need a gourmet kitchen?”
“I need a functioning kitchen.”
“You know the house you just described, don’t you? The one Sarah’s living in right now. Maybe you could buy it when she and Travis get married.”
Walter shook his head. “Right style, but I want something I can move into now. Besides, I think Raylene’s planning to buy it.” They’d talked about that on several occasions. He’d tried telling her it would be a mistake, that she was getting entirely too comfortable in her hideout. Maybe, though, Dr. McDaniels would get through to her and she’d move on, find her own home and her own life.
“Do you prefer a house or a condo?” Rory Sue asked. “Something brand new or older?”
“A house,” he said at once, wanting something that would feel at least marginally like a home, rather than a bachelor pad. “And older, with full-grown trees and a lawn, not a patch of bare ground with no shade.”
She nodded. “Got it. When are you free? Can you give me an hour tomorrow?”
Walter was startled by the hint of efficiency. He’d labeled her more of a scatterbrain, which just proved his instincts about women were no better than they use to be. Heaven knew, he’d misjudged Sarah often enough.
“That soon?” he asked.
She shrugged. “You said you wanted to move in now. Why mess around? I’ll go through my listings tonight and be ready to show you three or four things tomorrow. You tell me when.”
“Five o’clock?” he suggested.
“Works for me,” she said, then gave him a look that was more impish than come-hither. “And if I’ve found the perfect place, you can buy me dinner to celebrate. How’s that for a deal?”
Regarding her with bemusement, Walter nodded. “I can’t recall a better one.”
She slid out of the booth. “Then I’d better get busy, if I’m going to prove that I’m as good as my mom in this real estate gig. Thanks for the pizza, Walter. We’ll chalk this up as our first date.” She winked. “Just so you know, with me things usually start to get really interesting by the end of the second date.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. “Just one thing.”
“Yes?”
“In my world, for them to count as dates, I need to do the asking, so let’s think of tonight and tomorrow as all business, okay?”
For a moment, she looked startled, but then she tossed her mane of chestnut hair and laughed. “An old-fashioned guy! Who’d have thought it? Okay, Walter, we’ll play this your way. I’ll see you tomorrow at five. And since dinner’s business, I’ll buy.”
“Do you always have to have the last word?”
“I don’t have to,” she told him, “but it usually works out that way.”
She sashayed off before he could respond, giving him an excellent view of a backside that would make most men weep. She left Walter wondering just what in heaven’s name Raylene had been thinking.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and punched in the number at Sarah’s. Raylene picked up.
“I’ve just had a very interesting, supposedly chance encounter with Rory Sue Lewis,” he told her. “What do you know about that?”
“I might have mentioned your real estate needs to her,” she said, a barely contained hint of laughter threading through her voice. “Does she think she can find you a house?”
“That’s the least of what she thinks she can do for me,” he said.
“I thought the two of you might hit it off.”
“Hit it off? She scares me to death.”
Raylene did laugh then. “Walter Price, you did not just say that.”
“I mean it. She’s pushy and blatantly sexual.”
“Isn’t that every man’s dream?”
“I suppose some men fantasize about women chasing them, but personally I prefer a more demure, traditional type.”
“Because your marriage to a woman like that worked out so well?” Raylene taunted.
Walter faltered at that. When he remained silent, Raylene added, “You need a woman who’ll stand up to you and give you a run for your money, Walter. Admit it, once Sarah left you and started doing that, you found her a lot more fascinating.”
“True, but there’s no comparison between Sarah, even now with her newfound self-confidence, and Rory Sue. Sarah would kill you if she heard you trying to make one. Rory Sue’s like some kind of barracuda-in-training.”
“An apt description,” Raylene agreed. “You don’t have to date Rory Sue, you know. Just let her find you someplace to live and enjoy the sparks along the way. There were sparks at least, right?”
“Oh, there were sparks,” he conceded reluctantly. “The kind that could burn a man if he’s not careful.”
“Then be careful.”
“Oh, I will be,” he assured her. “And next time you get any crazy ideas about matchmaking, my friend, see if you can’t find someone who’ll put some roses in your cheeks and leave me alone.”
Raylene didn’t respond. Walter pounced on her silence.
“Raylene Hammond, have you already found that someone?”
“Don’t be silly. Where would I find someone?” she asked. “Men don’t just appear magically outside my door. Isn’t that what you’re always telling me?”
“But one has. I can hear it in your voice.”
“You’re imagining things,” she said.
Walter let it drop. If there was something going on in her life, God bless her, he’d find out about it soon enough. Tommy, for example, was a little blabbermouth when it came to anything going on at home.
“Tell me how things went with Dr. McDaniels,” he said instead.
As she filled him in, Walter heard a familiar note of defeat in her voice.
“You didn’t expect to run out of the first session and go skipping down the block, did you?”
“Not really, but it’s clearly going to be hard work. She managed to drag out a lot of bad memories and insisted on dissecting them. I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”
“You’re not scared of hard work, are you?”
“No,” she said with a hint of indignation, but then her bravado failed her. “I’m scared of failing.”
“You are not going to fail,” he said adamantly. “There’s too much at stake—your entire future, in case you need reminding. Besides, you have this huge support system in place. We’ll all be right beside you every step of the way.”
His words were greeted by silence and then she asked, “Walter, back when I was on your case every ten seconds for the way you were treating Sarah, did you ever think we’d wind up being friends?”
“To be honest, I never thought much about being friends with any woman,” he said.
She laughed. “Exactly as I thought, which is why Rory Sue is perfect for you. You can thank me later. Good night.”
“Good night.”
“Oh, Walter, wait,” she said, a teasing note in her voice. “Pleasant dreams!”
He bit off the retort that came to mind. With an image of Rory Sue’s scantily clad body firmly implanted in his head, he doubted there was much sleep in his immediate future, anyway.
5 (#ulink_a9011a9a-b2bd-5e9e-849f-9106887ee48a)
Carter had no idea why Raylene got to him the way she did. She was obviously going through a tough time and it was just as plain her problems were more than he had any idea how to handle. He was barely coping with his own life these days. Trying to keep two strong-willed teenagers on the straight and narrow had turned out to be a challenge beyond his wildest expectations.
Still, despite all of his own worries, he couldn’t seem to shake that nostalgic, tearful expression on Raylene’s face when she’d mentioned gardening. That hint of vulnerability from a woman who was otherwise strong enough to accept her own limitations—self-imposed though they might be—nagged at him for several days.
On Saturday morning, done with fretting and ready to take action, he dragged the girls out of bed at what they considered the unholy hour of ten, and told them to be dressed and in the car in thirty minutes.
“Why?” Carrie asked with a moan. “It’s Saturday.”
“And you don’t want to waste a minute of it,” he said cheerfully.
Unimpressed by his good mood, she scowled back at him. “What’s the big hurry?”
“We have places to go, things to do, people to see,” he declared, using something their mother had frequently cited when she wanted them to get moving. She’d also said that getting everyone into the car was a little like herding cats, something he was just beginning to understand as his sisters grew increasingly stubborn and independent.
Carrie eyed him suspiciously. “What places? What things? What people?”
“You’ll see,” he told her. “Now, hustle.”
Mandy was marginally more upbeat and cooperative. Always eager for something new, she was downstairs shoveling Cheerios into her mouth in ten minutes.
“Can we drive over to McDonald’s for lunch?” she asked, even as she consumed enough cereal for five normal kids.
“We’ll see,” he told her.
“I don’t want fast food,” Carrie said, overhearing the end of the conversation as she wandered into the kitchen, still in her pj’s. “It’s too fattening.”
This was a recent refrain, he’d noticed. It had started when she turned fifteen and gotten worse as she approached her sixteenth birthday. He found it worrisome, since she weighed next to nothing as it was. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he told her emphatically. “Now, eat something, and let’s hit the road.”
Carrie rolled her eyes. “Unlike some people, I don’t have to eat my weight in cereal first thing in the morning.”
Carter frowned at her. “And unlike some people, you don’t have nearly as much energy. Eat! Do I need to remind you—”
“That breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” she said sourly. “Okay, fine.”
He stood there until she’d finished at least a token serving of cereal, then rinsed the dishes and put them into the dishwasher.
As soon as the girls were buckled into the car, he pulled out of the driveway and turned toward the nursery he’d spotted outside of town.
“Where are we going?” Carrie asked again. “There’s nothing out here. Why can’t we go to Columbia? At least there, we lived in civilization. There were actually movies in town, and stores. You promised when we moved here we could go back to visit, but you hardly ever take us.”
Carter had heard it all before. “I took you two weeks ago,” he reminded her. “We went to the mall, where you spent an hour calling your friends from your cell phone, instead of doing the shopping you’d told me was so vital to your very existence. Today we’re doing something different.”
“I know,” Mandy said excitedly. “We’re going to get plants for the garden, aren’t we? There’s a nursery out here.”
“You got it, kid,” he confirmed, only to see Carrie roll her eyes in disgust.
“I want tomatoes and squash and corn and maybe even watermelon, okay?” Mandy said. “I think there’s enough room in the backyard. And it’s really sunny back there, so everything should grow great.”
“We’ll ask at the nursery,” Carter said. “How about you, Carrie? What do you want in the garden this year?”
She was silent until he sent a warning look in her direction.
“Some lettuce and yellow peppers, I guess,” she said without much enthusiasm. “At least I can make a salad.”
“Good idea. I think we’ll get some flowers, too,” Carter said, his tone deliberately nonchalant. “They’d look nice out front, don’t you think?”
Next to him, Carrie made a face. “Who’s going to plant them and take care of them? Not me.”
“I will,” Mandy offered. “Flowers will look pretty by the front door.” She frowned. “But we’ve never grown them before. Mom always took care of the flowers. What if they die?”
An idea had been blossoming in Carter’s mind for a few days now. “I know someone who might be able to give us some advice,” he said.
“Who?” Carrie asked, instantly suspicious.
“A woman I met the other day.”
His sister gave him a knowing look. “So what? You’re using us and the whole flower thing to get a date or something?”
He shook his head at once. “It’s not like that,” he insisted, then fell silent, because the truth was, it might be exactly like that. If this worked out the way he hoped, he might be spending a whole lot more time with Raylene.
When an unfamiliar truck turned into the driveway at Sarah’s, Raylene checked to make sure the kids were still watching a video in the den with Laurie. They’d both fallen asleep on the sofa, and Laurie was looking through a teen magazine of some kind. Raylene left them and went to the door.
When Carter Rollins emerged from the truck, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a T-shirt rather than his deputy uniform, she felt a little zing of anticipation. The sensation stunned her. Because of her marriage, she’d assumed there’d never be another man in her life she’d trust, much less be happy to see. That it happened to be this particular man was even more of a surprise.
Of course, she reminded herself, sexual attraction didn’t necessarily go hand in hand with trust. Carter might appeal to her on some purely sensual level, but that didn’t mean she intended to let him into her life. In a way, though, it was nice to know she could still appreciate a fine specimen of manhood when one happened to cross her path.
She opened the door, but remained safely inside. “You must be off duty,” she said as he approached. “What brings you by?”
“I came by to ask a favor,” he said, regarding her with a sheepish expression. “And I’ll do something for you in return, if you agree.”
She regarded him warily. When strong men got that helpless look, they were usually up to something. When they started talking about mysterious favors, alarm bells went off.
“Oh?” she said. “What exactly is this favor?”
“You mentioned something the other day about gardening, and I was hoping you could give me some tips.”
She frowned. “I’m not an expert. You could talk to Doug at the nursery just west of town and get better advice. His family’s owned it forever. I think they’re all master gardeners.”
He shook his head sorrowfully. “You must not know much about men. We hate admitting to other men that there are things we don’t know.”
She regarded him doubtfully. “But it’s okay to admit it to me?”
“Sure. You’ll just think I’m charmingly inept. Don’t all women love feeling superior to the men in their lives?”
“To be honest, I’ve never had that experience,” she said. “That certainly wasn’t the way the balance of power worked in my marriage.”
He gave her a questioning look, but didn’t pry. She gave him points for that.
“Will you at least think about giving me some advice?” he asked.
“And what do I get in return?”
“I bought a lot more plants than we’ll ever find room for in my yard. I thought you might want some for here.”
A tiny spark of forgotten excitement stirred to life inside her, and then reality hit. “I can’t accept them,” she said, unable to hide her disappointment.
“Why?”
She scrambled for an excuse, rather than admitting that it would be impossible for her to plant the garden, no matter how badly she might want to. “This isn’t my house. I’m not sure Sarah would appreciate it if I suddenly started landscaping around here.” The excuse sounded hollow to her ears, especially since she knew that as soon as Sarah and Travis set their wedding date, this house was likely to become hers. Hopefully Carter knew nothing of that plan.
His gaze met hers and he waited, clearly anticipating more.
Raylene sighed. “I thought you understood. I can’t leave the house, and I can’t expect Sarah to plant a garden to indulge some whim of mine.”
“But I could do it,” he said. “You could tell me what to do and I’ll provide the labor. You’d probably enjoy bossing me around. My sisters certainly do.”
She considered the possibility. Even if she let him do all the planting, who would care for the garden? In this heat, it would need frequent watering, to say nothing of weeding.
“It’s a lovely offer, but I don’t think so,” she said with real regret.
He studied her intently, then muttered what sounded like a curse under his breath. “It’s about the upkeep, too, isn’t it? Don’t worry about that. I’ll come by. So will my sisters. Let us do this for you.”
Pleased by his determination and too delighted with the idea to keep coming up with excuses, valid or otherwise, Raylene slowly nodded. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I weren’t. Do we have a deal?”
She couldn’t help the rush of excitement that stirred when she imagined having a garden again. If she closed her eyes, she could even imagine a time when she’d be able to sit outside and enjoy it.
“I would love it,” she admitted eventually, “if you’re sure you don’t mind doing all the work.”
“I don’t mind,” he confirmed. “You can pay me back with advice and lemonade. Shall we give it a try? I have the plants in the truck.”
She regarded him with amusement. “You were awfully confident you could talk me into this, weren’t you?”
He grinned. “Pretty much. Something told me you’d be a pushover if I dangled the promise of a few flowers in front of you.”
“Don’t get the idea I’m a pushover, Deputy Rollins,” she said with mock severity. “You’d be wrong.”
“Every women has a few weaknesses,” he commented with a wink. “I just happened to figure out one of yours.”
He walked toward the truck and left her wondering why he’d even given the matter so much thought. Most men, knowing her circumstances and the unlikelihood of anything approaching a normal relationship, wouldn’t have bothered. Rather than worrying about his motives, though, she told herself to be grateful for this impulsive, sweet gesture of his.
While Carter unloaded the plants and carried them around back, she woke the kids and brought them into the kitchen. “You want to help Deputy Rollins with the garden?” she asked, knowing they’d be safe with him and would enjoy the freedom of being outside. It would also give Laurie time to run to the store to look for the dress she wanted for her date tonight.
Tommy immediately raced for the kitchen door, but Libby hung back. Rebuffed once too often by her own father, whose entire focus seemed to be on her big brother, she’d only recently begun to feel more comfortable around men. Thankfully, Walter himself was responsible for the change. He’d finally realized what a treasure she was and started giving her a fair share of his attention. That, plus undisguised adoration from Travis, had been a huge boost to Libby’s confidence, but she still hung back around other men until she was sure of her welcome.
Raylene pulled a chair over to the doorway and lifted Libby into her lap. “You and I get to supervise,” she told her, loudly enough to be overheard by Carter. He cast a grin in her direction.
“Oh, great! Now I have two women bossing me around,” he grumbled with mock dismay. “Tommy, you’re going to have to help me stand up to them.”
“Okay,” Tommy agreed at once, eager to please. “What do we do?”
Carter shrugged. “Beats me.” He turned to Raylene. “Any ideas?”
For the next two hours, he and Tommy dug where she told them to and trimmed the yard with tall sunflowers and vibrant hollyhocks, patches of bright impatiens in partially shaded areas and even two fragrant rosebushes for either side of the kitchen doorway. The result was a far cry from the carefully tended garden at her home in Charleston, but it was bright and cheery and brought a smile to her face. Looking at the results, she had to blink back tears.
Standing in front of her, Carter seemed shaken by her display of emotion. “This was supposed to be a good thing.”
“It’s a wonderful thing,” she said, impulsively reaching out to give his hand a squeeze. “Thank you. It was wonderful of you to think of doing this. Even if I can’t take a single step outside, I’ll be able to smell the roses from right here.”
“No big deal,” he insisted, looking uncomfortable with her gratitude.
“Now, what can I do in return? Of course, I want to pay you for the plants.”
“Absolutely not,” he said indignantly. “I told you I bought too many.”
“I can believe you bought too many flats of annuals, but extra rosebushes? I doubt that.”
“Really, no. I can’t take your money. It was my pleasure.”
“It was more like a backbreaking couple of hours.”
“I enjoyed every minute,” he said, meeting her gaze with a steady look. “Really.”
Raylene shuddered under the intensity of that gaze. “Okay, then, what advice do you need for your garden?”
“Actually, you’ve already helped out. I’ll just try to re-create what we’ve done here.” He frowned. “Of course, we don’t have much shade.”
“Then you’re really going to have to keep an eye on the impatiens. They need a lot of water if they’re in bright sunlight. Otherwise they’ll wilt. And the sunflowers and hollyhocks will do best either against a fence or with stakes. Once they’re in full bloom, they’ll tend to fall over without some kind of support.”
“Got it,” he said. He gave her an appealing look. “Maybe one of these days, when you know me better and feel safe with me, you’ll come over and take a look and see if there’s any other advice I need to follow.”
She regarded him with frustration. “It doesn’t work that way, Carter. I’m plenty comfortable with Sarah and Annie, but I can’t leave here with them, either. Don’t take it personally.”
He backed down at once. “You’re right,” he said, looking flustered. “I’m sorry. I don’t totally understand how something like this works. Worse, I’m the kind of guy who automatically wants to make things better. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“It’s okay,” she said, not wanting to ruin his lovely gesture. “But I do think you should go now. I need to fix the kids a snack and then get started on supper before Sarah and Travis get home. They were doing some kind of remote for the radio station today.”
“And they’re not back yet? Where’s the sitter?” His worried expression was far more telling than the simple question.
Under other circumstances, she would have found his attitude insulting, but she understood why he was concerned. It just grated that it had to be that way. “She came back a while ago. Want me to call her in here so you can see for yourself that the kids are in good hands?”
He winced at her sarcasm. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I understand why you felt the need to ask. I really do.”
“Okay, then, I’ll see you soon. Maybe next time I drop by, I’ll bring the girls over. Would that be okay? I know Mandy would love to see the garden. She’s not going to believe I actually pulled off an actual flower garden. Up until this year I’ve stuck to vegetables.”
Raylene regarded him with a penetrating look. “Carter, what’s going on here? Are you still trying to make up for accusing me of being negligent with the kids? Or am I your pet charity case?”
He looked annoyed by the question. He took a step closer, but something in her expression must have warned him away, because he immediately backed off. Oddly, she felt suddenly bereft, as if she’d missed an important opportunity to feel alive again.
Holding her gaze, he said quietly, “If you don’t see what’s going on here, then I’ll have to figure out some way to make it plain.” For the second time he looked deep into her eyes, his gaze steady. “I like you. I enjoy your company. And one of these days, I have a hunch I’m going to kiss you, Raylene.” He grinned. “By then, you’re going to be ready for it.”
She trembled at the warning and the promise. She just doubted that such a day would ever come. Because no matter how attracted they might be to each other, a relationship simply wasn’t in the cards.
“I have a garden in my backyard,” Sarah announced with wonder that evening. She turned to stare at Raylene. “How’d that happen?”
“Carter Rollins,” Raylene said, her voice tight.
Sarah frowned. “Okay, let me see if I can figure this out. Carter Rollins made what seems to me to be an incredibly sweet gesture, and somehow that’s annoyed you.”
“It’s not the gesture that annoyed me,” Raylene insisted. “It’s what he wants in return.”
“Which is?”
“Me,” Raylene said, still not able to get over her shock that a man as sexy and appealing as Carter would want someone with her emotional baggage. “He obviously has some knight-in-shining-armor complex or something.”
“He’s a cop. Don’t they all want to save the world?”
“Well, I don’t want to be his project.”
“But you do want him,” Sarah guessed. “I can see it in your eyes. The guy turns you on.”
Sarah was the second person to suggest such a thing. Even Walter had figured it out, and he hadn’t even had to see her face to do it. Obviously there was no point in faking a denial. “Well, if you weren’t madly in love with Travis, Carter would probably turn you on, too. He’d turn on any woman with a functioning libido.”
“But your libido has been in hibernation,” Sarah said, fighting a grin. “Is that what you find so annoying? You’re suddenly faced with the fact that you’re still alive?”
Raylene scowled at her, but Sarah merely waited her out. “Okay, yes,” she said finally. “I don’t want to feel anything for him or anyone else because there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. No man is ever going to want to be tied to a woman who can’t leave the house.”
“If I recall, most bedrooms are inside houses,” Sarah teased.
“You know what I mean,” Raylene said. “My situation isn’t normal. It may never be normal.”
“Didn’t you tell me after your second appointment with Dr. McDaniels yesterday that she’s optimistic?”
“Of course she’s optimistic. Do you think she’s going to come in here, throw up her hands and tell me I’m beyond hope? Shrinks don’t like to admit defeat.”
“Or maybe she really believes you’re going to get better,” Sarah countered. Her gaze narrowed. “Or did I miss something? Did something happen on Friday to leave you sounding so discouraged? Now that I think about it, you’ve been in this weird mood ever since that session.”
“I’m just facing reality,” Raylene said.
“Meaning?”
“The medication didn’t do a thing to help. I felt so good, too. I was calm and relaxed. Dr. McDaniels had this really soothing tone that helped me. I was so ready to walk out of the house. I just knew I could do it.” She sighed. “And then, the second I tried to step outside, I nearly came unglued. It was bizarre. I had absolutely no control over it. Talk about a reality check.”
“Gee, and you’d been on the medication and in treatment for how long? Two whole days? I’m shocked,” Sarah said with exaggerated disbelief.
“It’s not funny,” Raylene said. “There should have been some sign of change.”
“Was Dr. McDaniels expecting a miraculous change?” Sarah asked.
“No.”
“What exactly did she say?”
“Not to be discouraged, that it could take a while for the medication to kick in, that I might need a stronger dose or a different medication, blah-blah-blah.”
“Oh, sweetie, I know it must have been frustrating, but she’s right. You’ve been suffering with this disorder, phobia or whatever it is for a couple of years now. It’s not going to vanish overnight.”
“It might never go away,” Raylene said. “I need to accept that.”
“Don’t you dare give in to such a defeatist attitude!” Sarah said heatedly. “I will not allow you to give up, especially after just two sessions with Dr. McDaniels. Do I have to call the rest of the Sweet Magnolias and stage an intervention? Because I will, if that’s what you need. You are better than this, Raylene Hammond. You are not a quitter. And, frankly, if a man as sexy as you seem to think Carter Rollins is suddenly wants to hang around, I’d think that would be motivation enough to keep you fighting to get better.”
“I never said I was going to quit,” Raylene said. “You don’t need to resort to an intervention. I just said I need to accept reality.”
“Accepting is barely one step away from giving up,” Sarah said, obviously still agitated. “Not an option, is that clear?”
Raylene regarded her with amusement. “If Walter could only see you now. You’re definitely not the meek little woman who let him and his parents get away with bullying her.”
Sarah blinked at the comment. “You know, you’re right. I have changed. And while we’re on the subject of Walter, what’s this I hear about you trying to fix him up with Rory Sue? The word is out the two of them were at Rosalina’s the other night.”
Relieved to have the focus off her mental state and off Carter, Raylene merely grinned. “I thought it might be fun.”
“Are you crazy? Rory Sue and Walter?” She shook her head. “If he ever took her home to Alabama, both his parents would wind up in the cardiac-care unit of the local hospital.”
“Like I said, fun,” Raylene repeated. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe you actually care about what those two awful people think.”
“No, but I don’t necessarily want them dead.”
“Well, their state of mind and health are no longer your concern, and Walter’s life needs shaking up. It’s time he stops pining for what he lost when the two of you got divorced.”
“Walter has hardly been pining for me.”
“Of course he has. He just knows he doesn’t stand a chance now that you have Travis in your life, though frankly, the fact that you haven’t set a wedding date yet must be giving him hope.”
Sarah regarded her indignantly. “You know perfectly well that there are a lot of reasons we haven’t set a date yet. Getting the station up and running has been a lot of work. With such a small staff, we couldn’t both be gone for even a brief honeymoon, and we agreed we want a big wedding. That takes time to plan. And then there are my folks. My dad’s health hasn’t been good, so he hasn’t been up to traveling.”
“Okay, I get it,” Raylene said. “But does Walter?”
“He certainly ought to by now,” Sarah said. “The two of us were always a terrible match, anyway.”
“True enough,” Raylene said. “He fed your insecurities. Not intentionally, maybe. It’s just the way things were as long as you were living under his parents’ thumb.”
“Let’s get back to Rory Sue,” Sarah said, once again looking bewildered. “Seriously? You honestly think those two belong together?”
“They’ll have to figure that out for themselves,” Raylene said. “But I do think she’s self-confident enough to give him a run for his money. Walter needs a challenge.”
“Meaning I’m a wimp,” Sarah said, looking disgruntled.
“You were a wimp,” Raylene concurred without hesitation. “And now you’re not. You are the woman you were meant to be—strong, confident, comfortable in your own skin. Watching the transformation has been amazing. You’re amazing!”
Sarah’s expression brightened at her words, but then Raylene realized the change had nothing to do with her. Travis opened the kitchen door and at the sight of him, Sarah practically glowed with happiness. It was that way whenever he dropped by, which was most nights and weekends. For a man who lived blocks away, he was underfoot a lot.
“Hey,” he said in his low, sexy drawl, his gaze on his fiancée. Raylene might as well not have been in the room.
“Hey,” Sarah said, equally oblivious to the fact that they had company.
“I’ll just go and check on the kids now,” Raylene said, backing out of the kitchen. “Don’t let the casserole burn.”
She shook her head as she left. She doubted they’d heard a word. It was a toss-up whether her friends or dinner would go up in flames first.
6 (#ulink_b9422683-0161-5166-a2a0-bed441e384e1)
The following Saturday the kids had gone to the ball field with Sarah and Travis, and Raylene was alone in the house, when Carter’s truck pulled up out front. Two teenagers climbed out. Raylene guessed these were Carter’s sisters. The girl who appeared older wore the sulky, bored expression of someone who wanted to be anywhere else but here. The other teen was gazing around with frank curiosity as her brother led the way to the front door.
Filled with a mix of anticipation and annoyance, Raylene held it open as they approached.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” she said, her tone light but chiding.
The younger girl frowned at Carter. “You didn’t call to say we were coming or to see if she’d be home? What is wrong with you? That is so rude.” She grinned at Raylene. “You have to make allowances for him. Our parents did try to teach him some manners. Honest.”
Raylene smiled. “I’m sure they did. Do you suppose he’ll remember to introduce us? I’m Raylene.”
“And I’m Mandy,” the young teen replied. “Sourpuss here is Carrie.”
“That’s no way to talk about your sister,” Carter scolded.
“Oh, come on,” Mandy protested. “She’s been cranky all day.”
“I can wait in the truck if you find my company so objectionable,” Carrie snapped, then glanced apologetically at Raylene. “Sorry. You shouldn’t have to listen to our family squabbles.”
“I don’t mind,” Raylene said, feeling an unexpected sense of camaraderie for this girl who’d lost her parents just when she was entering the vulnerable teenage years and needed them the most. “Come on inside, all of you.”
“I wanted the girls to see the garden and to check to see if it needs watering or weeding,” Carter told her. “I hope that’s okay. We won’t stay long.”
“Of course it’s okay. How about some lemonade or sweet tea before you go outside again?” Raylene asked. “Even for June, it’s miserably hot today. And I baked sugar cookies yesterday.”
“Sounds good to me,” Mandy said eagerly. “Nobody bakes at our house. Carrie used to, but then she discovered that cookies have…” She lowered her voice to an exaggerated whisper and added, “Calories!”
Carter nodded sadly. “It’s true. That was the day our source of home-baked cookies died.”
Raylene watched Carrie’s expression. Even though her brother and sister were obviously teasing, the barbs clearly hit home. Carrie looked as if she might cry. Again, Raylene felt an unexpected connection to her.
“Well, consider me your new source for cookies,” Raylene told them. “I bake two or three times a week. Travis grabs a handful every time he passes through the kitchen, which he seems to find excuses to do a dozen times while he’s here every day. He’s like some kind of bottomless pit when it comes to sweets. I can’t tell you how much Sarah and I envy him.”
Interest flickered in Carrie’s eyes. “Are you talking about Travis McDonald, the guy on the radio?”
Raylene nodded.
“He lives here?” Carrie said, clearly excited by the possibility that she’d stumbled into the home of a local celebrity.
“No, but Sarah does. They’re engaged, so he’s over here a lot.”
“Then you see him all the time?” Carrie persisted.
“Quite a bit,” Raylene confirmed.
“Oh, my gosh! He is so sexy on the air. That voice…” She made an elaborate show of fanning herself.
Raylene grinned. “Yeah, he has that effect on me, too.”
Carter appeared fascinated by that news. “Okay, I’m a guy. You’re going to have to explain it to me. What does Travis McDonald have that, say, I don’t?”
Carrie rolled her eyes at the question, but Raylene met his gaze. “Sorry. It’s the voice. Not that the package is anything to sneer at, but that deep, slow, sexy drawl is something else.”
“Does Sarah know her fiancé gets you all charged up?” he asked.
To Raylene’s regret he sounded more curious than jealous. “It took a while, but I think she’s gotten used to women swooning every time he opens his mouth,” she said.
“Do you think we could meet him sometime?” Mandy asked.
Carter regarded her as if she was a traitor. “Not you, too?”
“Hey, I’m a girl, too,” Mandy said, then regarded Raylene hopefully. “Is he coming by today?”
Raylene nodded. “He and Sarah should be back soon. They take the kids out for pizza after they play T-ball, but they usually get Tommy and Libby back here for their naps.”
Carrie regarded Carter hopefully. “Can we stay?” She turned to Raylene. “Would you mind?”
“It’s fine with me,” Raylene told her as she took glasses from the cupboard and poured lemonade for everyone. She opened a tin of freshly baked cookies and put them on a plate. Mandy and Carter reached for them eagerly, but Carrie ignored them and went to the back door to look out at the garden. After a minute, she turned, an expression of shock on her face. “Carter, you did that? You planted all those flowers?”
He winked at Raylene. “I had a lot of guidance.”
“Can we go check it out?” Mandy asked, joining her sister at the door.
“You may,” Carter said, subtly correcting her.
Mandy stuck out her tongue. “May we?”
“You may, if you’ll get the hose and water everything while you’re out there,” Carter said. He turned to Raylene. “It needs it, right?”
“It does, and I would appreciate it,” Raylene said, then almost regretted giving permission when she was left alone with Carter, who was studying her with what was becoming an increasingly unnerving look of fascination.
“Thanks for not slamming the door in my face,” he said.
She bit back a smile. “Unlike you, I remembered the manners I was taught. And I’m sure you knew I’d never slam the door if you turned up here with your sisters, especially with all my lovely flowers out there drooping from the heat.”
“I was hoping,” he admitted with an unrepentant grin.
“They’re lovely girls.”
“You can say that even after Carrie walked in here with an attitude?”
“She’s sixteen, right? It comes with the territory. Believe me, I remember that stage all too well.”
“She’ll be sixteen in a few months, but I get what you’re saying. Does that mean Mandy’s sunny disposition will vanish and she’ll be transformed into an impossible little diva in another year or so?” He looked shaken by the thought.
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Sherryl Woods
Her devastating marriage behind her, Raylene Hammond is truly thankful for her best friends, the Sweet Magnolias. They've taken her in, shielding her from the world. Then she meets sheriff's deputy Carter Rollins, and suddenly Raylene's haven no longer feels quite so safe.Carter understands why Raylene is trapped inside. He's even taken to bringing the outside world to her. But with two kid sisters to raise, just how much time can he devote to this woman who's stolen his heart?Raylene knows Carter is a man worth loving, but she may never be strong enough to accept what he's offering. How long can she ask him to wait? Maybe they'll never have more than this one sweet summer.
Praise for the novels of New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author SHERRYL WOODS (#ulink_a8b4c9b3-756a-5d2e-ac11-7b4eb5dd31dc)
“Sherryl Woods writes emotionally satisfying novels about family, friendship and home. Truly feel-great reads!”
—#1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Macomber
“Deeply emotional, the third Chesapeake Shores book is quite absorbing. The characters have real chemistry—as well as a way with one-liners.”
—RT Book Reviews on Harbor Lights
“Sparks fly in a lively tale that is overflowing with family conflict and warmth and the possibility of rekindled love.”
—Library Journal on Flowers on Main
“Launching the Chesapeake Shores series, Woods creates an engrossing…family drama.”
—Publishers Weekly on The Inn at Eagle Point
“A lively, upbeat story that sparkles with holiday fun and tugs at the heartstrings.”
—Library Journal on Welcome to Serenity
“Compulsively readable…a universal tale of friendship’s redemptive power.”
—Publishers Weekly on Mending Fences
“Redolent with Southern small-town atmosphere, this emotionally rich story deals with some serious issues and delivers on a number of levels.”
—Library Journal on A Slice of Heaven
“Sweetly satisfying, clever characters and snappy, realistic dialogue…a delightful read.”
—Publishers Weekly on About That Man
Honeysuckle Summer
Sherryl Woods
www.mirabooks.co.uk (http://www.mirabooks.co.uk)
Dear Friends (#u09e8b818-9fd9-541b-9190-eba33779cfbe),
Setting out to write a book with an agoraphobic heroine was probably pure insanity. And yet those of you who have been keeping up with the Sweet Magnolias know that nothing is impossible when it comes to these incomparable women. Raylene Hammond simply had to have her own story.
For a victim of domestic violence, any future can be filled with uncertainty and fear, but for Raylene the fear is so overwhelming that she’s retreated to the home she shares with her friend Sarah and simply hasn’t left. Add in the threat that her ex-husband could once again come after her when he’s released from prison, and there’s a very real chance that she will never conquer those fears.
It would take an amazing man to walk into such a situation and put his heart on the line. Carter Rollins is such a man. Though they get off to a terrible beginning, he quickly becomes Raylene’s staunchest supporter. He’s kind, patient and, most of all, determined. He offers her hope for a brighter future than she’d imagined possible.
I hope you’ll enjoy this final story about the Sweet Magnolias. I wish each of you loyal and lasting friendships to get you through the tough times and to fill your lives with laughter…and maybe the occasional margarita!
All best,
Contents
Cover (#ubeb3a959-ccd2-5d2f-a340-3690a4d5babc)
Praise (#ud1986dc5-20a8-5d5f-a2c2-f775e653e66e)
Title Page (#u7115722c-60f3-5914-862a-e12eb3f5f36e)
Letter to Reader (#u700ee2a6-ae99-55da-b6e7-223f594be5ec)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Epilogue
Questions for Discussion
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
1 (#ulink_101817a3-1344-5f82-a3cd-22375cad3cdf)
Raylene stood in the kitchen doorway on a day that was surprisingly cool for the first of June. She stared in dismay at the backyard where Sarah’s children, Tommy and Libby, had been playing not two minutes before. Now only two-year-old Libby was in sight. She was standing next to the open gate of the fenced-in yard.
Tommy’s absence immediately set off panic in Raylene. “Libby,” she called. “Sweetie, come here. Where’s Tommy?”
Toddling to Raylene, her big eyes filled with tears, Libby pointed in the direction of the street.
“Come inside,” Raylene commanded. She could only deal with one missing child at a time. Raylene scooped up Libby, then raced toward the front door and flung it open to peer up and down the block. Tommy was nowhere in sight. Barely five, he couldn’t have gone too far in the time she’d been in the kitchen, she assured herself. She’d turned away just long enough to put a few cookies on a plate and pour three glasses of lemonade. Two minutes, maybe three.
Normally she would have brought the kids inside when the sitter left to run an errand, but it had been such a beautiful day, she’d decided to let them continue playing in the yard. What had she been thinking? She’d been terrified ever since she’d moved in with Sarah and her family that something like this would happen on her watch. She’d taken every precaution she could think of to avoid it. Now, just one slip and all her worst fears were coming true.
Opening the door, she shouted at the top of her lungs. “Tommy!” She managed to inch over the threshold, but just barely. The panic she’d felt upon discovering Tommy was gone multiplied a thousandfold as she tried to force herself to take the next step and then the next. It took every bit of willpower she possessed not to scramble right back inside. She clutched Libby so tightly that the little girl whimpered in protest.
“Sorry, baby,” Raylene soothed.
Again, she shouted for Tommy, but there was no response. Frustration warred with terror.
Tommy knew the rules. He knew, even if he didn’t understand, that she couldn’t leave the house to go chasing after him. He was also an adventurous preschooler for whom rules meant very little. He couldn’t possibly comprehend that the thought of leaving the safe haven of their home terrified her. Sometimes it was beyond her understanding, too.
Ever since Raylene had run from her abusive husband, she’d grown increasingly housebound, scared of everything beyond the boundaries of these walls. It didn’t seem to matter that Paul Hammond was safely locked behind bars, at least for a few more months. She couldn’t make herself leave the house. If anything, she’d been getting worse, not better.
She forced herself to inch down the last step and onto the sidewalk, fought the fear clawing its way up the back of her throat, the trembling in her limbs. Unable to take one more step, she shouted again and again.
“Tommy Price! You get back in this yard right this minute!”
She scanned the street in every direction, fully expecting him to pop out from behind a bush, a lopsided grin on his face at having won some misguided game of hide-and-seek.
Instead, there was no sign of movement on the quiet, tree-lined street. Any teens were inside playing video games or doing homework. The younger children on the block were probably indoors having an after-school snack. An hour from now, more than likely there would be a dozen kids who could tell her in which direction Tommy had gone, but for now there was no one in sight.
Raylene tried to calm herself with the reminder that Serenity was a safe town, and small enough that almost anyone would recognize Tommy and bring him straight home. Unfortunately, those thoughts warred with too many dangerous possibilities.
She tried telling herself that if a stranger had approached, one or both of the kids would have screamed. They’d been drilled often enough to be alert to that kind of danger. Even Libby was old enough to be wary of anyone she didn’t know. That Raylene hadn’t heard any fearful shouts was some consolation.
All of this went spinning through her head in what seemed like an eternity, but was probably no more than a couple of minutes. She had a choice to make. She could fight her fears and try to go farther than the front steps, or she could call for help. Given her inability to leave the house for so long, she opted for being smart over saving her pride. Not wanting to waste another precious second, she punched in 911 on the portable phone.
Her second call was to the Serenity radio station where Sarah had a morning show of talk and music. She often stayed after the show ended to book future guests. It was the station owner and Sarah’s soon-to-be husband, Travis McDonald, who took the call.
“I’m so sorry,” Raylene kept telling him, trying not to break down in tears as she rambled through the story. “I swear I only looked away for a few minutes, and I tried to go searching for him, Travis. I really tried. I’m standing on the sidewalk now, and you know how long it’s been since I’ve come even this far. I’ve called the sheriff’s office. They’re sending a deputy right away.”
“It’s okay, Raylene. Everything’s going to be fine,” he reassured her, though she could hear the underlying tension in his normally laid-back tone. “I’ll tell Sarah what’s going on and we’ll be there in five minutes. No need to panic. Tommy’s probably playing next door. Give Lynn a call.”
“But surely she would have heard me shouting for him,” Raylene protested. “Hurry, Travis, please. I’ll try to go looking myself, but I don’t know if I can.”
Travis, bless him, didn’t criticize her for this phobia that had taken over her life. He just reassured her that he was on his way. “Call next door,” he repeated. “The number’s on the bulletin board by the phone in the kitchen. Lynn will help until we get there.”
“Of course,” she said, furious with herself for not thinking of that sooner.
But when she reached Lynn, the neighbor reminded Raylene that her daughter was in a playgroup this afternoon.
“I haven’t seen Tommy, but I’ll be right over to help with the search,” Lynn said at once.
“Don’t bother coming here,” Raylene told her. “If you could just look up and down the street toward town and maybe alert some more of the neighbors, I’ll send Travis in the other direction as soon as he gets here. Surely Tommy can’t be more than a few blocks away.”
“Will do,” Lynn promised, then hesitated. “Are you okay? Anything you need before I start hunting?”
“No, I’m fine.” In fact, finding herself with an actual role—acting as command central for news from those actually out searching—finally began to steady her nerves. This was something she could do. She could keep Libby close and safe, make calls, coordinate efforts, even wait for Tommy to wander back from whatever adventure he’d gone on. Shaking with relief that others were now doing what she couldn’t, she sat down on the top step to watch and wait.
Sitting there on the front stoop, phone and lemonade in hand, Libby in her arms, Raylene peered up and down the street for some sign of Tommy, or at least of Travis or the deputy that the sheriff’s department had promised to send.
When the wait began to seem endless, she once again tried to venture back down the sidewalk. Even though she took a deep breath and told herself she’d already done this once today, her palms began to sweat. Her heartbeat accelerated, and her breath seemed to lodge in her throat. Tears of frustration filled her eyes. She ought to be able to take this one short step, dammit! There was a crisis, and she was absolutely useless.
For the first time since she’d given in to her fears and settled for such a limited existence, she realized just how much might be at stake. Though the kids were the sitter’s responsibility at this time of day, Sarah had depended on Raylene to be her backup, to keep her children safe if she ever happened to be left in charge, even for a brief time. She’d let Sarah down, let Tommy down.
Consumed with self-derision, Raylene realized they all should have known better. Any length of time with her was too long, especially for Tommy, who had his daddy’s stubbornness and tenacity along with the conviction that he was now a big boy. He was growing more independent by the day.
Raylene should have put her foot down and refused to look after the kids at all, not for an hour, not even for five minutes. She knew Sarah was determined to convince her that she was still normal, instead of some basket case, but Raylene should have insisted that the risks were too great. If anything happened to that little boy, she’d never be able to forgive herself.
When Travis’s car squealed into the driveway and Sarah jumped out practically before he hit the brakes, Raylene nearly collapsed with relief.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” she said as Sarah hugged her fiercely and told her not to worry. It was ironic really to have Tommy’s mom consoling her, when it should have been the other way around.
Libby took one look at Travis and held out her arms. There was no question that she adored her prospective stepdaddy. Travis took Libby from Raylene’s arms and held her close.
“It’s going to be fine,” Sarah said, though her confident words were belied by the fear shadowing her eyes. “Tommy can’t possibly have gone far. What happened, anyway? Travis tried to tell me, but all I could hear was blah-blah-blah through the haze of terror that rushed through me.”
Raylene repeated the story she’d told Travis on the phone. “The sitter went to pick up a few things we needed for supper.” She glanced at her watch and saw that even after all the commotion, less than a half hour had passed. “She should be back here any second. I swear, Tommy and Libby weren’t out of my sight more than a couple of minutes. When I looked back, the gate was open and Tommy was gone. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
“Well, I can believe it,” Sarah said. “He’s as slippery as a little eel. He’s constantly escaping, you know that, even when Travis and I think we’re watching him like hawks. He’s figured out where his friends live and likes to go visit. He doesn’t grasp the concept of getting permission. That’s probably what happened today.”
“Lynn’s out knocking on doors,” Raylene said. “If that’s what happened, she should have news soon.” She met Sarah’s gaze, reluctant to stir the distrust that still existed between Sarah and her ex-husband. “I hate to bring this up, but you don’t suppose Walter stopped by and picked him up without coming inside to let me know?”
Sarah shook her head. “I’ve already called him, just to let him know what’s happening, and, to be honest, to make sure he’s making a sales call at the business where he said he’d be this afternoon. I phoned him at the business, rather than on his cell, just to be sure.”
“Thank God for that, at least,” Raylene said, just as the sheriff’s car rolled to a stop out front.
Expecting to see the familiar face of one of the longtime deputies or the paunchy form of the sheriff himself, she was stunned to see a tall, lean specimen of pure masculinity emerge from behind the wheel. He had chiseled cheekbones, thick brown hair and, when he removed his aviator sunglasses, a penetrating gaze that could spin a thousand feminine fantasies.
Furious with herself for ogling the man like a love-sick idiot despite being in the middle of a crisis, Raylene took a gulp of ice-cold lemonade to soothe her suddenly parched throat.
Anticipating a cross-examination, she steadied herself to wait, but instead, he reached out and opened the passenger door to the police cruiser. Tommy emerged, wearing an excited little-boy’s grin over the adventure he’d apparently had.
“I got to ride in a police car,” Tommy announced unnecessarily. “And I got to turn on the siren.”
Sarah knelt down and pulled Tommy into her arms. Her tears were openly flowing now. Then she held him at arm’s length and her expression turned stern. “Young man, do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? What were you thinking, leaving this yard without permission? You know you’re not allowed to go anywhere that Raylene can’t see you.”
Tommy’s chin wobbled precariously. He cast a guilty look in Raylene’s direction. “I heard the ice-cream truck, and I had my money in my pocket ’cause we knew Freddie’d be coming soon. I thought I could find him.”
Raylene nearly groaned. Of course he’d go chasing after ice cream, though Freddie Wilson usually didn’t make his rounds until late afternoon, and normally he stopped right in front of their house so Raylene or the sitter could watch as Tommy made his purchase.
“I looked and looked, but I couldn’t find Freddie,” Tommy said sorrowfully. “And then I got lost. The policeman found me. He knew my name.” He regarded his mom worriedly. “That’s okay, right? Policemen are our friends, not strangers.”
Sarah nodded. “That’s exactly right.”
“I found him over on Oak Street,” the deputy said, still eyeing Raylene with disapproval. “He took himself quite a walk.”
“It’s hot and I’m thirsty,” Tommy said. “Can Libby and me have lemonade and cookies now?”
“Lemonade, but no cookies,” Sarah told him firmly. “Then you’re going to your room so Travis and I can have a talk with you about leaving here without an adult. I suspect your daddy will have a few things to say to you, too, when he gets here.”
Sarah turned to the deputy. “Thank you so much for finding him and bringing him home.”
“No problem,” he said, then focused on Raylene. “Ma’am, if you’re in charge, you’re going to need to keep a closer eye on the children. If something like this happens again, there could be serious consequences.”
Raylene flinched at his judgmental tone, though she could hardly argue with the message. “Believe me, it won’t happen again,” she assured him.
Because as soon as she got back inside, she intended to go through the classified ads and find another place to live. She’d imposed on Sarah long enough. She’d always intended to offer to buy this house from Sarah when she and Travis were married and living at his place, but staying here until then was now out of the question. Surely Sarah would see that after what had happened this afternoon, and if she didn’t, then Raylene would enlist Travis, their friend Annie or anyone else she could think of to make sure that Sarah saw reason. After all, where her kids were concerned, Sarah couldn’t justify taking chances, not even to protect her best friend.
Unfortunately, Sarah wasn’t being reasonable. Just after dinner, Raylene had announced her plans to move out, but Sarah was having none of it. To Raylene’s surprise, Travis was on her side. Even Annie had come over toting her new baby to offer her two cents’. Raylene fully expected the entire contingent of Sweet Magnolias to turn up any second to provide backup. When they united in solidarity, they were a force to be reckoned with. Everyone in Serenity knew that.
“Just because a man none of us had ever set eyes on before this afternoon criticized you without knowing all the facts does not mean you’re going to move out,” Sarah told Raylene. “And you can just take those bags you’ve packed right back to your room and unpack them.”
“I agree,” Travis said. “What happened today could have happened to any one of us.”
“But it happened to me,” Raylene protested, “and there wasn’t anything I could do except scream for Tommy and then make phone calls. You would have been outside chasing after him. He’d never have made it all the way to Oak Street if you’d been here.”
“You did exactly what needed to be done,” Sarah argued. “You called the sheriff.”
“It wasn’t enough,” Raylene countered. “I love you for taking me in and putting up with my craziness for all this time, but it needs to stop now. I will not put your children at risk.”
Sarah frowned at her determined tone. “What I know is that my children love you. You’re one of my two best friends and right now this is your home. It’s where you feel safe. Until you feel stronger and really, really want to move out on your own, you’re staying right here with us, and that’s final.”
Raylene regarded her with a mix of frustration and amazement. “How can you want that after what happened?”
“Because I love you, you dope. And like Travis said, what happened with the kids today could just as easily have happened to me or to him.”
“Listen to her,” Annie said, cradling Meg in her arms. “Trevor gets away from me in the blink of an eye. I swear one of these days I’m going to put that boy on a leash when I take him to the mall. Who knew kids that size could move so fast? Their legs are short, for goodness’ sake. Of course, Ty has a conniption when I say that, but he’s not the one standing in a crowded mall trying to spot a kid in a sea of legs.”
She met Raylene’s gaze. “And another thing, since Trevor’s my stepson, I feel an even greater sense of responsibility in a way. If anything ever happened to him on my watch, I don’t know if Ty would ever forgive me. So you see, I do understand how you feel, Raylene. I know exactly how terrifying this must have been.”
“So do I,” Travis said, his gaze on Sarah. “Don’t you think I feel a huge weight of responsibility every time I take Libby and Tommy out with me? Sure, I’d feel that if I were their biological dad, but, like Annie said, somehow I think it’s harder being their stepparent or, in your case, the friend who’s been left in charge.”
They were wearing away at all of Raylene’s arguments. She did have one more, though. “Okay, what about Walter?” she asked Sarah. “I’m sure he has an opinion about all this. Do you want to give him the perfect excuse to file for custody?”
Right after her own divorce, any mention of a custody suit would have scared Sarah to death, but now she waved it off. “I anticipated something like this, so I asked Walter flat out if he intended to make an issue of what happened today. He told me no, and he meant it. I could tell.”
She reached over and squeezed Raylene’s hand. “He likes you, sweetie. How you’ve pulled it off is beyond me, but he considers you a friend. He acted like I was nuts when I suggested he might use this to seek custody. He told me we were past all that a long time ago, he agreed it was better for the kids to live mainly with me and he had no intention of dragging you into that kind of fight. I’ll call him right now, and he can tell you that himself, if you need to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”
“No,” Raylene said. “But you all are being entirely too understanding, Walter included. The important thing is to keep the kids safe. They’re obviously not safe with me.”
“Okay, we can deal with that,” Sarah said decisively. “From now on, you won’t stay here alone with them, not even for a few minutes, but that’s the only thing that’s going to change. This is your home, period. Don’t waste your breath trying to make me change my mind.”
Raylene sighed with frustration and, if she were being honest, a hint of relief. “I appreciate this, I really do, but I just don’t see how you can be so generous after the way I let Tommy get away from me. Anything could have happened.”
“But it didn’t,” Sarah said emphatically. “And I said it because it’s how I feel. You’re a Sweet Magnolia, just like me and Annie, Maddie, Helen, Dana Sue and Jeanette. That makes you the next best thing to a sister, okay? And families stick together.” She regarded Raylene slyly. “There is one thing you could do for me in return, though.”
Raylene braced herself. She already knew what was coming. They’d had the conversation before. “You want me to see Dr. McDaniels.” The psychologist had treated Annie years ago for an eating disorder and continued to monitor her progress whenever Annie felt herself slipping. After well over a year of watching Raylene get worse, Annie and Sarah had started pushing Raylene to consult her. Their pleas had become increasingly forceful lately. Now, understandably, they were bound to be amped up even more.
Sarah nodded. “I do. Whether you just have a panic disorder or full-blown agoraphobia, it’s time to face it, Raylene. Not just because of what happened today, but so you can get your life back. Maybe this incident today happened for a reason, to make you finally get the help you need.”
Raylene had been waging an internal battle against seeking help from the moment her friends had first mentioned it. It had probably been a ridiculous point of pride that she conquer this problem on her own. The truth was, though, that she obviously couldn’t. Whatever was going on was bigger than she was.
When she remained silent, trying to work up the courage to concede defeat and ask for help, Annie stepped in.
“Raylene, this is treatable,” Annie assured her. “You know that. I’ve shown you all the research I could find on the Internet. There’s a very good chance Dr. McDaniels can work with a physician to get you on the right combination of medicine to help, and maybe teach you some calming and relaxation techniques. Don’t let that horrific ex-husband of yours rob you of the rest of your life. Now that you’re free of him, you need to live every second to the absolute fullest. You need to meet someone new, someone who’s kind and gentle and treats you with the respect you deserve. We all want that for you.”
“And you think I’ll meet that kind of man in Serenity?” Raylene scoffed with some of the leftover snobbishness she’d been taught by her mother, a Charleston socialite who’d married a local man, then found herself stuck in Serenity and had chafed at every minute of her life here.
“I have,” Sarah reminded her, glancing over at Travis, who gave her a wink. “So have Annie and Jeanette. And look at the men in Maddie, Dana Sue and Helen’s lives. They’re all amazing. And, if you don’t mind my saying so, that highly educated blueblooded doctor you met in Charleston wasn’t exactly a catch, now was he?”
Raylene’s lips quirked despite the reminder of just how awful Paul Hammond had been.
“You have me there,” she admitted. “Although a man is the last thing on my mind at the moment, I will call Dr. McDaniels.” Because she’d made the promise at least a dozen times before, she knew it probably sounded empty now. “I mean it. I’ll do it this time, first thing in the morning. You can stand right by the phone and listen in, if you want to. I owe you that much for sticking by me despite what happened.”
“You’re not doing it for me,” Sarah corrected. “You’re doing it for yourself. You need to concentrate on that. And I don’t need to listen to the call, Raylene. If you make a promise, you’ll keep it.”
Raylene was grateful for the trust Sarah had in her word. She just wasn’t so sure she deserved either the trust or a future. That was one more aftereffect of living with a man who’d literally and figuratively beaten her into submission for way too long before she’d wised up and left. That it had taken her years, rather than minutes, would shame her forever. That it had cost her the baby she’d been carrying had left her with the kind of gut-wrenching guilt from which she couldn’t imagine ever recovering.
Even she recognized that she’d been punishing herself by locking herself away in this house. Paul might be serving his time in prison, but she’d been serving her self-imposed sentence right here. Even now, she wasn’t a hundred percent certain she deserved to have it end, but today the stakes of doing nothing had increased to a level she could no longer ignore.
2 (#ulink_883f97e5-f188-59de-919a-d182f6eaf860)
Carter Rollins had taken one look at the woman standing on the front stoop at Sarah Price’s house the day before and labeled her some kind of expensively clad snob who thought she was too good to get her hands dirty. The fact that she’d been standing around, rather than looking for the missing boy, had grated on him. It had cemented his first impression that she was a selfish, overindulged, irresponsible female. If it had been up to him, he’d have found some way to charge her with child neglect on the spot.
Unfortunately, he’d learned a few things since moving to Serenity. It was a tight-knit, friendly community that stuck together. Unless he had the law very firmly on his side, it was best to handle things with that in mind.
WSER might not be the most powerful radio station in the state, or even in the region, but its owner, Travis McDonald, and star personality, Sarah Price, were local celebrities. He’d heard about their very public romance when he’d first arrived in town. Everybody in Serenity, it seemed, loved a love story. If Travis and Sarah intended to back up this woman, then there was very little Carter could do about it. And their protective attitude toward her yesterday had been as unmistakable as it was unfathomable.
The next time, though—if there was one—he wouldn’t hesitate to handle things differently, local politics be damned. He’d involve the child protective authorities in a heartbeat.
It was his job to protect people, especially innocent kids. Finding Tommy Price wandering alone several blocks from home had stirred his anger, so he didn’t much care who was on that babysitter’s side. Next time, he’d haul her in.
“Why do you look so grim?” his sister Carrie asked, eyeing him warily as he set an assortment of take-out boxes from the local Chinese restaurant on the kitchen table.
“Just a bad day,” he told his fifteen-year-old sister. One of these days, one of them—he, Carrie or his other sister, Mandy—was going to have to learn to cook. Beyond throwing meat, chicken or fish on a grill, he was pretty useless in the kitchen. Carrie had once excelled at baking chocolate-chip cookies from a package, though lately she’d refused to bake them for reasons beyond him. Mandy could make popcorn in the microwave and scramble eggs. When they’d moved and his hours had become more predictable, he’d vowed to change their pitiful culinary ineptitude, but so far, they mostly existed on takeout. Sadly, the variety in Serenity was pretty slim.
“You’ve had a lot of bad days since we moved to Serenity,” Mandy noted. She was the younger of the girls for whom he’d had full responsibility since their parents’ deaths two years ago. “Wasn’t that the whole point of moving here, so you’d be in a better mood? I have to tell you, big brother, I don’t think it’s working.”
Carter frowned at her interpretation of the decision he’d made to leave his police job in Columbia for a smaller community. “We’re here because this is a better environment for the two of you.”
“In other words, because it’s totally boring,” Carrie said, disdain in her voice. “You didn’t want us to have fun ever again.”
“No, I wanted you to be safe,” Carter countered, passing the kung pao chicken.
“Then how come you had a bad day?” Carrie persisted, scooping a tiny spoonful of rice onto her plate and adding a few of the vegetables from another container. It was barely enough to feed a bird, but Carter resisted pointing that out. His comments inevitably led to an argument.
“If it’s so safe, your days should be dull as dirt,” she added, her expression challenging.
He shook his head at her logic. “A little boy went missing this afternoon.”
Carrie immediately looked chagrined. “But you found him, right? And he was okay?”
“He was fine. He’d gone looking for the ice-cream truck.”
Carrie looked relieved. “So it all turned out okay,” she concluded. “You should be happy.”
“I’m just irritated that he got away from the woman who was supposed to be watching him in the first place,” he admitted.
Mandy gave him an incredulous look. “Oh, come on! You used to run away from home all the time. Mom and Dad told us. Mom said it’s why her hair turned gray.”
Carter winced. They were enough younger that he hadn’t realized they would know about his own adventures on the wild side when he was only a few years older than Tommy Price. “That was different,” he claimed.
“How?” Carrie asked. “You scared Mom and Dad to death, and you did it deliberately. It sounds as if this little boy just went on an innocent search for ice cream.”
“You’re missing the point. Anything could have happened to him.”
“Anything could have happened to you, too,” Carrie said. “Do you blame Mom and Dad for letting you sneak away?”
He saw he wasn’t going to win this argument. Truthfully, he very rarely came out on top with these two. They could twist him in knots faster than anyone else in his life. Worse, now that they were both in their teens, the dangers were even greater and his influence on them was still shaky. They were all still getting used to the idea that he was in charge, and not just a bossy big brother anymore.
“It was different,” he repeated. “I was older than this little boy. I could take care of myself.”
“You were six the first time you ran away,” Mandy corrected. “Dad said he followed you until it got dark. You finally got scared at some noise or a shadow or something and ran home.”
Carter scowled. “Did they tell you every stupid thing I ever did?”
Carrie grinned impudently. “No, they pretty much glossed over all the stuff you did with girls. We just know there were a lot of them.”
“Ancient history,” Carter said. And given how much trouble these two were likely to be, he couldn’t imagine having time for any kind of relationship of his own in the near future.
“Too bad,” Mandy commented, her expression thoughtful. “You might mellow out if you had a girlfriend. I hear not having sex is tough on guys.”
“We are so not discussing my sex life,” he declared emphatically, feeling heat climb into his cheeks. He supposed he should be grateful that the girls still thought they could say anything to him, but not if one of those topics was going to be his personal relationships…or lack thereof.
Carrie’s eyes brightened. “Hey, we could work on finding someone for you,” she suggested eagerly.
“I do not need you to pick out a woman for me,” he said, horrified by the thought. “I have enough on my plate right now, anyway, so just forget it, okay?”
Both girls shrugged.
“Whatever you say,” Mandy said. “But if you’re cranky all the time, don’t blame us.”
Carter shook his head. “Give it a rest. I am not cranky all the time.”
Carrie gave him a disbelieving look, then turned to her sister. “He’s in denial, right?”
“Lives there,” Mandy confirmed.
And then they were gone, leaving him to clean up their take-out meal and to wrestle with the possibility that his overall mood these days was less than cheery. Thinking about this afternoon’s events certainly wasn’t doing a thing to improve that, and something told him he was going to be lying awake all night wondering why that was. Was it really about what might have happened to Tommy Price? Or was it about the woman to whom he’d taken an instant dislike?
When morning rolled around and the girls had left for school, Carter reported for duty at the sheriff’s department, then told the dispatcher he was going to patrol in Serenity unless a call came in and he was needed elsewhere.
“You’re not doing a drive-by in Tommy Price’s neighborhood, are you?” Gayle Kincaid asked.
Carter frowned at her astute guesswork. “What makes you think that’s where I’m headed?”
“Because I’ve been in this job for thirty years, and I saw the way you looked when you got back here yesterday afternoon,” she told him. “Your eyes were as dark as any storm cloud I ever saw. Spotted a few flashes of lightning in there, too.”
“What did you expect? I found that boy blocks from home,” he said in his own defense. “Why wouldn’t I check to make sure someone’s keeping a closer eye on him today?”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t, but if you take every case to heart like this, you’ll burn out before you turn thirty, which as I recall is only a few months from now.”
“I’m just riding around a neighborhood,” he told her. “I don’t think we need to worry about my mental health just yet. Call me if you need me.”
“Will do,” she said. “By the way, Sarah Price has been singing your praises on the air this morning. I imagine you’re a real hero around town by now.”
Carter wondered how she’d feel about him if he decided he had to take some kind of action against her babysitter, but he left that unsaid.
A few minutes later, he was cruising past the little bungalow looking for any sign that something might be amiss this morning. He heard kids squealing with glee in the backyard and caught a glimpse of Tommy and his younger sister—Libby, as he recalled—swinging on a swing set, being pushed by someone unfamiliar. Not much more than a teenager, from the looks of it, but still it had to be an improvement over the alternative. For an instant, relief washed over him. Maybe Sarah Price had fired the irresponsible woman and hired someone new already. If so, his worries were over.
Just as that thought crossed his mind, though, the back door swung open and the other woman called out, “Breakfast’s ready.” She turned her head, spotted him, and Carter swore he saw the blood drain out of her face. The screen door immediately slammed shut.
He waited until the kids and the other woman went inside before driving off. He was more confused than ever now. The woman from the day before was still there, but what was her role beyond dressing up the scenery?
Once again, she’d been wearing a pair of slacks and a blouse that he’d bet his entire month’s salary had cost a fortune. Thanks to Carrie and Mandy, who were obsessed with designer fashion, he recognized pricey clothes when he saw them. He’d spent too many hours listening to tearful pleas from his sisters for the latest jeans or fancy shoes. They didn’t seem to understand just how tight money was since their parents had died with little savings and only a minimum amount of life insurance. Added together, it had been barely enough to cover funeral expenses. He refused to touch the money they’d put aside for the girls’ college education. Instead, he tried to add a little to it each month, which further eroded the amount he had for basic expenses.
Nor did Carrie or Mandy seem to care that he was woefully inept at the whole parenting role that had been thrust upon him at the age of twenty-seven. They rarely cut him a break of any kind, but that was another issue.
Thinking about the boatload of responsibility that he’d struggled with for the past couple of years made him even more annoyed at how the babysitter had just let Tommy take off yesterday afternoon. If someone was going to take on the job of looking after someone else’s kids, then by gosh, they ought to be focused on it and not sitting around in the kitchen reading fashion magazines, or whatever, while the kids ran wild and put themselves in danger. He’d turned his life upside down to take care of Carrie and Mandy, hadn’t he?
He still had half a mind to park the cruiser, barge inside and warn her that if her friend hadn’t been so nice, a child-negligence charge could have been brought against her. Maybe that would get her attention so she’d take the job seriously. Then, again, maybe watching the kids wasn’t her job. Maybe she was some flighty relative who was visiting temporarily. He realized he needed more evidence—scratch that, more information—before he put his job on the line by stirring up a ruckus.
He decided to give the matter some more thought over an early lunch at Wharton’s, which made the only decent burger in town, and at a price he could afford on his paltry deputy’s salary. Most days, he made himself peanut butter and jelly or bologna sandwiches, same as he did for the girls.
Half a dozen locals greeted him as he slid into the red vinyl booth. Mayor Lewis, whom he’d met making the rounds of local officials after taking the job, stopped by the table before he could even place his order.
“Heard what happened with Sarah’s boy yesterday. Glad it turned out okay,” the mayor said. “Nice work.”
“I got lucky. I spotted Tommy on the second street I canvassed,” Carter told him. He hesitated, then asked, “Mind telling me what you know about the woman who was supposed to be watching him?”
The mayor blinked in apparent confusion, then nodded. “Oh, right. The babysitter’s just out of high school and working for Sarah until she goes off to college. Laurie Jenkins. She’s a good girl.”
Carter shook his head. That must have been the woman he’d seen in the backyard this morning. “This was someone older, mid-twenties, I’d say, about the same age as Sarah.”
Howard’s expression brightened. “Ah, you must mean Raylene.”
“We didn’t meet, but I suppose that’s who it was. Tall, too thin, dark hair. Looks like she belongs in a fashion magazine.”
“That’s Raylene, all right,” the mayor confirmed. “She and Sarah Price go way back. She’s tight with Annie Townsend, too. Have you met her? She’s married to Ty Townsend, a local boy who pitches for the Braves.”
This wasn’t the first time Carter had noticed how much the mayor liked to talk once he got wound up. Usually the meandering chitchat got on his last nerve, but this time he found the topic fascinating. He waited for more, and Howard didn’t disappoint him.
“Those three girls—Raylene, Annie and Sarah, that is—were best friends from about the time they could walk,” the mayor continued. “Never saw one without the other. Raylene was living over in Charleston for a while. Married a highfalutin doctor, as I recall. Then there was trouble of some kind and she came back here. She’s been stayin’ with Sarah ever since. Doesn’t get out much from what I hear.”
“Is she actually living with them, then?” Carter asked, wondering why a woman who could afford that expensive wardrobe would be living in a little bungalow with a family that wasn’t her own. Maybe it had something to do with that trouble she’d been running from.
“Far as I know, she’s there permanently.” Howard Lewis regarded him with curiosity. “Haven’t seen much of her, but she used to be a pretty little thing. You interested?”
“Not a chance,” Carter said fiercely. “The only thing I care about is making sure she doesn’t let those kids go roaming around on their own again. Next time, things could turn out a whole lot worse.”
Howard frowned at his somber tone. “You feel that strongly about it, maybe you should have a talk with Travis. He’s about to become their stepdad, and he just now walked in the door.” He beckoned the man in question over to the booth. “You two musta met yesterday. Travis McDonald, Carter Rollins.” He stepped aside and gestured for Travis to sit. “I’ll leave you both to your meals.”
Presented with the opportunity, Carter laid out his concerns for the man seated opposite him. As he talked, though, Travis’s expression turned increasingly indignant.
“Nobody loves those kids or is more protective of them than Raylene,” he told Carter. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“She didn’t do much to keep Tommy safe yesterday afternoon, now, did she?” Carter said. “I didn’t see her combing the streets to find him. No, indeed, she stood right there on the front steps and waited for everyone else to get the job done.”
Travis leveled a hard look at him that gave him pause. “I thought folks in police work were supposed to wait till the evidence was in before jumping to conclusions.”
“I saw all the evidence I needed to see,” Carter insisted, refusing to back down. “It was plain as day what happened. She didn’t take her responsibility seriously, and Tommy wandered off and could have gotten himself run over or kidnapped or who knows what. I’d think you’d be as concerned about that as I am.”
Despite the dire picture Carter painted, Travis didn’t back down. “Did you notice that even after Tommy came home, Raylene never left that front stoop?”
“Probably too guilt-ridden,” Carter assessed, dismissing the odd behavior that, frankly, hadn’t struck him at the time as anything other than a complete lack of caring. “Or scared I was going to arrest her on the spot.”
“No, it’s because she couldn’t,” Travis said, heat in his voice. “She has something called agoraphobia, at least that’s what Sarah and Annie think. Hasn’t left the house but once or twice since she moved in and that was well over a year ago, after she arrived here all battered and bruised from her abusive husband. Just think about that for a minute, why don’t you?”
He leaned in closer to hammer his point home without raising his voice. “That front stoop is as far as Raylene can make herself go without having a full-blown panic attack. When she phoned me yesterday, right after calling the sheriff’s office, she’d made it to the sidewalk and was beside herself that she couldn’t take another step. In fact, she was so guilt-ridden, she wanted to move out so the kids would never be at risk again.”
“Maybe she should,” Carter said, though he was beginning to see another side to the story, one he wasn’t quite ready to believe.
Travis’s scowl deepened. “Not happening,” he said emphatically. “For the record, she’s not the babysitter. In fact, she’s the one who insisted we hire someone else to look after the kids because of her panic attacks. She was only alone with them yesterday because Laurie ran to the store for a few minutes.”
Carter had heard of that kind of phobia, but he’d never run across anyone who suffered from it. Agoraphobia had always struck him as some sort of psycho-babble explanation people used as an excuse to avoid things they didn’t want to do. Given how seriously Travis seemed to be taking it in Raylene’s case, maybe he’d been wrong.
Still regarding Travis with skepticism, he said, “Honest to God? You’re sure she’s got a real problem?”
Travis nodded, then slid out of the booth, leaving his menu untouched. Apparently he’d lost his appetite.
“Next time you might want to do a little more investigating before making judgments,” Travis suggested mildly. “People in this town don’t take kindly to newcomers talking trash about one of our own. If you’re going to do any good in this community, you’d do well to remember that.”
He walked away and left Carter feeling like a jerk. Okay, maybe he’d been well intentioned, but he sure as hell hadn’t been fully informed, just the way Travis said. It was a good lesson for him. To his surprise, he realized that even though he hadn’t made a single accusation to Raylene’s face, he felt as if he owed her an apology.
And one of these days, when he’d managed to swallow his pride, he’d have to deliver it in person.
Walter dropped by Sarah’s house on his lunch hour. He’d seen the guilt in Raylene’s eyes the day before, and it had gotten to him. He might not be the most sensitive guy on the face of the earth, but somehow he felt connected to her. They’d both been down some bumpy roads and were still struggling to find their way.
During all the time his relationship with Sarah and his kids had been on shaky ground, Raylene had bridged the gap. She’d talked to him in her frank, un-censored way and made him see his own flaws. If things were better now between him and his ex-wife, it was at least in part due to Raylene. He didn’t want to see her worrying herself sick over what had happened, and he knew, without a doubt, that she would be.
“Did you stop by to make sure the kids are safe?” she asked when he walked into the kitchen.
Walter frowned at her. “Never any question about that, and you know it. Now stop beating yourself up over what happened.”
She regarded him with surprise. “Sarah told me you weren’t mad at me, but I didn’t entirely believe her.”
“Didn’t I tell you the same thing when I was here last night?”
“I thought maybe you’d have second thoughts once you’d had time to reflect about what happened.”
“Well, I didn’t, which is exactly why I’m here again today. I wanted to be sure you knew I don’t blame you.” He grinned at her. “And since I’m giving up my lunch break to come over here, how about fixing me one of those fancy salads of yours? I’m gaining too much weight living on burgers from Wharton’s and pizza from Rosalina’s.”
“Isn’t it way past time for you to find your own place and fix your own lunches?” Raylene said, though she immediately pulled lettuce, tomatoes and other ingredients from the refrigerator. “Now that you know it’s going to work out selling ads for the radio station, it’s time, Walter. The kids need a real bedroom so they can spend the night with you. Nice as it is, the inn’s no place for them for more than an hour or two.”
He shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to the inn. They’ve given me a decent monthly rate, and there’s no housekeeping or upkeep.”
Raylene shook her head. “You are downright pitiful. You spent way too many years being waited on, didn’t you?”
He grinned unrepentantly. “Probably. The truth is, though, that I haven’t had ten minutes to string together to go house hunting, much less enough money put aside for a down payment,” he said. “The house in Alabama still hasn’t sold because the real estate market over there sucks. It’s a mill town and people are losing their jobs. Their homes are going into foreclosure. The market’s glutted, but I did finally get a solid lead on a buyer last week.”
“Well, then, it’s time to start looking here,” Raylene said optimistically.
“Not until the deal’s closed,” Walter insisted. “Too many things could go wrong. I can’t just rely on what I’m making at the station. The pay’s not that great. Travis is working on getting approval for a stronger signal for the station. If that comes through, then I’m going to be on the road even more driving to all the new towns our signal will reach. It’ll mean more money, though.”
“You’re just full of excuses, aren’t you?” Raylene commented. “Think about this. Being on the road more is all the more reason to find a comfortable home to come back to.” She set a bowl in front of him, then handed him a light dressing. Her expression dared him to ask for his preferred blue cheese.
Walter took the vinaigrette with a sigh. “You can be such a nag. Worse, you don’t even have to say a word.”
“You’re the one who was complaining about gaining weight,” she reminded him. “Now, about the house. Why don’t you call Rory Sue Lewis. She’s working with her mother now. Tell her what you want and let her do all the legwork. Then give her an hour and see what she’s come up with. I’ll bet she can help you figure out financing, too. At the least she can make the sale contingent on selling the house in Alabama, so you won’t have that worry hanging over you. You won’t be on the hook unless the money’s there.”
“You honestly think it will be that easy?” he asked skeptically. “Rory Sue’s new at the real estate business from what I hear. Her mama’s the expert.”
Raylene got a wicked gleam in her eye. “But Rory Sue’s an expert at figuring out what men want. I’ll put money on her finding a way to satisfy you.”
Walter paused, his fork in midair, and studied Raylene’s suddenly innocent expression. “Are you matchmaking?” he asked warily.
“What if I am? You’re a free man.”
“With no spare time,” he corrected. “Between work and the kids, I have no time. I just told you that.”
“Every man will make time for women and sex,” she countered. “It’s a law of nature.”
“And women?” he queried, tossing the ball right back into her court. “You’ve been shut away in here for the better part of a year. How’s your love life?”
Rather than taking offense, as he’d half expected, she merely laughed. “Hey, I’m willing. The men just have to find me.”
Walter regarded her soberly. Despite her laughter, he found the response unbearably sad. “That’s no way to live, Raylene, and you know it.”
She sobered at once. “Not the first time you’ve mentioned that. Just so you know, I called Dr. McDaniels this morning. She’s coming here tomorrow. I guess we’ll finally get to the bottom of my problem.”
“About time,” Walter said, relieved for her.
She regarded him wearily. “That’s what all of you think,” she said. “But no one seems to be thinking about what happens if there’s no way to fix me.”
Walter heard the genuine fear behind her lightly spoken words and reached for her hand. “Then you’ll handle that,” he said confidently. “But I believe you’re strong enough to deal with anything, Raylene. I mean that. You just may be the strongest woman I know.”
Uncomfortable with the unexpected, if heartfelt, emotion, he stood up and backed away. “Now I’ve got to get back to work before Travis finds out I’m over here instead of selling airtime. You need anything after you see the doctor tomorrow, you call me, you hear? I may be a poor substitute for a Sweet Magnolia, but I am your friend, and I’ve got a broad shoulder you can lean on.”
Raylene’s eyes filled with tears. “Sure,” she said. “Thanks.”
As Walter got in his car, he thought about what had just happened. If anyone had ever told him he could have deep feelings for a woman without wanting to get her into bed, he’d have sworn they were nuts. That was the way it was between him and Raylene, though. They were friends, the kind who backed each other up, and he’d meant what he said. If she needed him, he would be here.
Of course, knowing Raylene, it would be a cold day in hell before she ever admitted needing anyone.
3 (#ulink_c8558439-1f0a-532e-8ee2-7e72f2af55b1)
Raylene wasn’t entirely shocked when she saw Helen Decatur coming up the walk after dinner on the night after Tommy’s adventure. She’d half expected the attorney to stop by and warn her about possible charges that could be filed against her if she wasn’t more careful in the future.
When she opened the door, though, Helen merely held out a bottle of tequila, a bag of limes and a can of frozen limeade.
“Time for a margarita night,” Helen declared.
“Just you and me?” Raylene queried.
Helen grinned. “Are you kidding me? Sweet Magnolias do not get to drink alone, or even in pairs. The others will be here soon.”
“Did Sarah know about this?”
Helen nodded. “She’s the one who made the calls,” she revealed as she headed for the kitchen to start making a batch of her lethal margaritas. “She thought you needed a boost to your spirits. She also said she had the Triple Sec. Any idea where I’d find it?”
As Raylene retrieved the bottle from the pantry, Helen found the blender without asking and then, with the skill of many years of practice, she put the ingredients for the frozen drinks in and turned it on. A moment later, she added crushed ice and ran the mixture through another cycle until she had an innocent-looking concoction that could fell a lumberjack.
“Sarah also thought you might want to talk about what that deputy implied when he was here,” Helen added casually, glancing at Raylene as she handed her a drink.
“You mean the implication that there would be legal consequences if Tommy ever slipped away from me again?”
Helen nodded. “If the man wants to be a hard-ass, he could probably stir up some trouble, but I’ll handle it.” She grinned and lifted a glass filled with a frothy, icy drink. “It’s taken me a little longer than expected to hit my stride again after maternity leave and my mom’s broken hip, but I’m back now. No one is tougher in court than I am.”
“I know you might relish the idea of going toe-to-toe with the deputy in court, but I think it might be wiser if I’m not in a position for anything like this to happen again,” Raylene told her. “Sarah, Travis and I are agreed, I will never be alone with the kids, not even for a few minutes. We were lucky this time, but I’m not taking any more chances.”
“Still, things can happen,” Helen said. “I’m just saying you don’t need to worry. I have your back.”
“Thank you. You came through for me with my divorce from Paul. I have enough financial resources that I haven’t had to think about trying to work. And you gave me great advice when I had to give my deposition against him for assault and abuse. I trust you implicitly, but I’m also determined that your help won’t be needed with this.”
Helen studied her intently, then nodded. “Okay, then,” she said. “Let’s get this party started.”
As if her words had been carefully timed, Sarah suddenly came into the kitchen. Annie appeared at the back door, followed by her mother, Dana Sue Sullivan, the owner of Sullivan’s restaurant, as well as Maddie Maddox, who ran The Corner Spa—which was owned by Dana Sue, Maddie and Helen—and Jeanette McDonald, who ran the day-spa services and was married to Travis’s cousin. Years ago as teenagers, Dana Sue, Maddie and Helen had formed the Sweet Magnolias, a tight circle of friends. Then they’d drawn in Jeanette, and now the new generation, which included Annie, Sarah and Raylene.
The margarita-night gatherings had become a tradition years ago, a time for the women to share their problems, their successes and a whole lot of laughter. That they’d come together for her touched Raylene in unexpected ways. She couldn’t seem to stop the tears that welled up.
“Hey, are you about to cry?” Sarah asked her.
Raylene nodded. “Afraid so. I can’t believe everyone is here just to cheer me up, especially when I’m the one who messed up.”
“Hey, little princess, it’s not all about cheering you up,” Annie said, nudging her in the side. “Some of it’s about the margaritas and Mom’s guacamole. Not that I get to drink a margarita. I’m still nursing the baby.”
“It’s a small sacrifice to make to have a healthy baby,” Raylene scolded. “And by the way, I am so not a princess.”
“Did you or did you not have a debutante ball in Charleston?” Sarah asked. “I seem to recall you looking like a princess in a fairy tale that night. You showed us the pictures often enough.”
Raylene winced. It seemed like a million years ago when her grandparents had talked her into that. That she’d gotten all caught up in the social whirl and lost focus about what really mattered in life still amazed her. She’d been persuaded to go to private school for her senior year and had lost contact with her friends.
Recently, the best part of coming back to Serenity had been finding herself surrounded by people who didn’t put on airs, live by a calendar of parties and fund-raisers, and who were totally grounded. Her friends here—Sweet Magnolias and beyond—were real. She understood the difference now and valued it.
“To my very deep regret, I did have a coming out season,” she conceded.
“There’s nothing wrong with having a big, fancy party,” Helen soothed. “In my day, I loved any chance to get dressed up and put on a pair of kick-ass shoes.” Her expression turned mournful as she held out feet clad in expensive flats. “These days I can’t stand up for more than two seconds in the kind of high heels I always loved.”
“Tonight is not about how much you miss your Manolos and Jimmy Choos,” Maddie teased.
“I was just trying to point out to Raylene that parties aren’t necessarily bad,” Helen countered.
“They are if you start thinking those kinds of events are the most important things in life,” Raylene said. “I was so determined to make my mother and grandparents happy, I forgot what mattered to me. And let’s not forget that was the night I met Paul Hammond and sealed my fate with that louse.”
Paul had been older, a medical student, in fact, but he’d come to the party as a date for a plain Jane cousin whose partner had bailed on her. He’d spent the entire evening flirting with Raylene, whose own dull date was the grandson of friends of her grandparents.
By the end of the evening she’d been smitten, and despite the difference in ages, her grandparents and even her mother had encouraged the match. Her father had clearly disapproved, but he hadn’t gone against his wife’s wishes. She and Paul had married soon after she turned eighteen, while he was serving his medical internship.
The stress of his demanding training had been the excuse for all the times he’d lost his temper with her. After a while he hadn’t bothered with excuses for what began as verbal attacks and escalated over time into more violent behavior.
The marriage had been a horror show, all the more terrifying because on the few occasions when she’d tried to tell her mother what was happening, her fears had been dismissed. She’d been told she was overreacting, and that all marriages hit rough patches. Too many times she’d been reminded of all the advantages that would come with being married to a successful doctor from a prominent Charleston family. Her relationship with her mother had been permanently damaged by Raylene’s discovery that she couldn’t count on her mother when it mattered.
Not wanting to dwell in the past, Raylene shook off the memories and took another sip of her margarita. “Let’s not go there,” she said as the others nodded readily and lifted their glasses.
“I propose a toast to Raylene and a brighter future,” Sarah said. “Do you mind if I tell them about tomorrow?”
“What’s happening tomorrow?” Helen asked.
“Dr. McDaniels is coming here to determine if I have a panic disorder of some kind that keeps me from leaving the house,” Raylene told them. “I guess we’ll find out if I’m nuts or just lazy.”
“You’re not either one,” Sarah said fiercely. “Stop saying things like that.”
“I agree,” Dana Sue said, crossing the room to give Raylene a hug. “I’m so glad you’re finally seeing her. She was a godsend to Annie, wasn’t she, sweetie?”
Annie nodded. “I’d probably be dead if not for her. I still rely on her guidance from time to time when I get scared that I’m falling into my old eating pattern. Fortunately, right now, I seem to be eating all the time. And nursing Meg seems to keep me from gaining an ounce.”
Any mention of Annie’s baby was enough to make Raylene feel a deep sense of sorrow for the baby she’d lost. Even though she’d only been in her first trimester, the baby had already been real to her. When she’d started bleeding and had miscarried just days after one of Paul’s beatings, it had been worse than anything else she’d suffered at his hands. The only blessing that had come from that awful tragedy was that she’d finally found the strength to leave him and end her marriage.
Annie gave her hand a squeeze, her expression sympathetic. Though Raylene had never mentioned losing her child to Annie, she knew Sarah had probably told her. It was one secret she was relieved not to have to talk about herself.
“Your turn will come,” Annie whispered. “I know it.”
Raylene regarded her sadly. “I’m just glad to be here with friends. I don’t need miracles.”
“But you deserve one,” Annie insisted. “And something tells me one is just around the corner.”
When Raylene saw the sheriff’s cruiser pull to a stop in front of the house, her heart climbed into her throat. She thought of Annie’s words the night before and had to choke back a laugh. Surely this wasn’t the miracle Annie had had in mind for her. She knew what the man now identified as Carter Rollins thought of her. Travis had told Sarah of their conversation, and Sarah, fit to be tied, had told Raylene after last night’s Sweet Magnolias gathering.
She watched as he crossed the front lawn with long strides and a look of purpose on his face. Was it possible he’d found some crime with which to charge her? Could he do that without Travis and Sarah wanting him to? She barely resisted the desire to grab the phone and call Helen for advice before opening the door to him.
Instead, though, she stood tall and waited. One thing she knew all too well was how to put on a facade when she was feeling scared or out of her element. She’d put on more shows in public during her pitiful marriage than any actress in a Broadway production. The minute the doorbell rang, she swung open the door and offered him her brightest smile.
“Deputy Rollins, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon. Did you stop by to check on Tommy and Libby?” she asked, seizing the initiative. “They’re taking their naps right now. I can assure you they’re in their beds, right where they belong. Laurie, the babysitter, is in the den.” She leveled a knowing look directly into his eyes. “Feel free to check if you don’t believe me.”
To his credit, he flushed ever so slightly. He removed his sunglasses, revealing hazel eyes with emerald flecks. He fiddled nervously with the glasses. “Actually I was around the corner on a call and thought I’d come by to offer you the apology I think I owe you.”
“Oh?”
“I misjudged you the other day,” he admitted, looking uncomfortable.
“Did you really?”
His lips twitched a little at her response. “I’m sure you know all about it, because Mr. McDonald was pretty indignant on your behalf.”
“He might have mentioned something about a conversation the two of you had, though he told his wife, not me,” she admitted. “Sarah filled me in.”
He nodded. “I had a feeling it would work something like that, Serenity being the kind of town it is. As Mr. McDonald informed me, folks here look after their own.”
“We certainly try to,” she agreed. She decided he’d squirmed enough and let her ingrained manners kick in. Southern women were always ready to offer a cool drink, if not an entire spread of food, at a moment’s notice. “Could I offer you some coffee? Maybe a glass of lemonade or some sweet tea? It’s another scorcher out there today. There are cookies, too, if the kids haven’t gotten to them today.”
He looked a bit startled by the invitation. “You sure?”
She gave him a thoughtful survey that brought more color to his cheeks. “Well, despite the fact that you’re wearing a gun, you don’t look all that dangerous to me, so yes, I’m sure.”
“I just thought maybe me being a stranger would make you nervous.”
“It’s not people who terrify me,” she found herself saying. “It’s everything outside this house.” She gave him a wry look. “Crazy, isn’t it, since I grew up in this town and all my problems were over in Charleston.”
“What kind of problems, if you don’t mind me asking? Travis said something about domestic violence.”
Raylene hesitated. Her disastrous marriage wasn’t something she liked to talk about to anyone, much less a stranger. If he knew about the abuse, he knew more than enough.
“It’s in the past, and I don’t like to talk about it,” she said. “Now, about that coffee, are you interested?”
“The lemonade sounds better,” he said, then followed her inside.
In the kitchen, she gestured for him to take a seat, then poured two tall glasses of lemonade over ice and handed one to him. She put an assortment of chocolate-chip and oatmeal cookies on a plate and set it on the table, then took a seat herself. Only a trained observer might notice that she sat on the edge of the chair and a safe distance away, rather than relaxing. She had a hunch that Carter noticed.
Calling on her once-instinctive social graces, she said, “Are you new to Serenity? I know you weren’t in school with us, and you seem to be about the same age.”
“I moved here a few months ago when I hired on as a deputy. It seemed like a good place to raise kids.”
His response surprised her. She’d automatically checked for a wedding band and there hadn’t been one. Of course, as she knew all too well from her philandering ex-husband, some men were adept at hiding rings when it suited their purposes. Or he could be divorced or even a widower.
“How many children do you have?” she asked.
“None of my own, but my two younger sisters are living with me. They’re fourteen and almost sixteen. Our parents died a couple of years back. We stuck it out in Columbia for a while, but I liked the idea of a small town. When a job opened up here this spring, I grabbed it. I’m hoping they’ll get in less trouble here than they might have in the city.”
Raylene chuckled, thinking of some of the mischief she, Annie and Sarah had gotten into as teenagers. “Trust me, if girls want to get into trouble, they can do it anywhere.”
He regarded her with an impudent grin. “Do tell. Just what kind of trouble did you get yourself into? If I go into the computer, will I find a dark criminal past?”
“Hardly,” she said, then grinned. “We were far too clever to get caught.”
“Really?”
She thought back over her high school years and chose one of many incidents. “Really. For instance, there was one memorable slumber party when we let boys sneak in,” she confided. “Annie’s mom, Dana Sue Sullivan…” Her voice trailed off.
“The owner of the restaurant,” he guessed.
“Exactly. She about had a fit over that one. Of course, the fact that Annie collapsed that night and wound up in the hospital pretty much trumped whatever trouble we probably would have gotten in over inviting the boys to the party.”
“What happened to Annie?”
She hesitated at talking about Annie’s personal business, but then everyone in town already knew the story. “She had anorexia. It nearly killed her.” She waved off the subject and grinned. “As for the mischief we got ourselves into, I’m sure I could tell a few other stories, if I racked my brain. And most of the teachers at the high school could probably add a dozen or more.”
He looked a little pale as he shook his head. “I’ll definitely keep that slumber party scam in mind when Carrie—she’s the fifteen-year-old—tells me she wants to spend the night with a friend. I had no idea teenage girls were so sneaky.”
“The ones I knew certainly were,” she told him.
He smiled, causing an unexpected bump in her heart rate. Then his expression sobered.
“May I ask you a personal question?” he said.
“Sure.”
“Travis mentioned something about you not being able to leave the house. Is that true?”
She nodded. Whatever embarrassment she’d once felt over her problem had faded as people in town had come to accept that if they wanted to spend time with her, they had to do it here.
“When I first came back to town, I was able to sit on the back patio. I was so relieved to be someplace safe that I didn’t realize at first that leaving here was even an issue.”
“Makes sense,” he said.
“Then, after a couple of months of healing physically and mentally, I tried going out with Sarah and Annie,” she said ruefully. “I never made it past the driveway before I’d break out in a cold sweat. My heart would start racing so fast, I was sure I was going to pass out. After that happened a few times, well, I hate to admit it, but I just stopped trying. Eventually it got so bad, I couldn’t even take a step outside.”
“Why’d you give up?”
The question was simple, but the answer was complicated. Raylene wasn’t sure she could explain it. “I suppose it just seemed easier,” she said eventually. She shrugged. “And there was no place I really needed to be, nothing I really wanted to do.”
Carter looked unconvinced. “You’re content to make this house enough for the rest of your life?” he asked incredulously.
“I suppose I haven’t let myself think long term. Right now, when I consider leaving here, the fear outweighs the joy of whatever might be out there. Forever’s not a concept I can grapple with.”
“What about the yard, at least? Can you go outside that far?”
“You know that I can’t,” she responded, meeting his gaze. “You saw me frozen in place on the top step the other day. If I could have gone farther, believe me, I would have. Knowing Tommy was somewhere out there and I couldn’t look for him was horrible. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.” She regarded him with curiosity. “Why does this matter to you? Are you that worried about the kids? Because if that’s it, you can stop. I will never have the responsibility for looking after them again.”
“For their sake, I’m relieved to hear that,” he admitted candidly. “But it strikes me as sad that you might not get to experience all that life has to offer. You’re a young, beautiful woman. You’re smart and funny. Seems to me it’s a waste to stay hidden away here.” He frowned. “Don’t you even want to get better?”
“I doubt you can understand this, but getting better, leaving this house, seems to mean more to other people right now than it does to me. I feel safe here. I love being with Sarah’s kids. People come and go all the time, and that’s what matters. I’m not alone or lonely.”
“There must have been things you enjoyed before the panic attacks started,” he protested. “Don’t you miss at least some of them?”
Raylene thought about it. She wondered if maybe this whole cycle of fear and panic hadn’t started even while she’d been married. It wasn’t that her home had been a safe haven. Far from it, in fact. But in it, she had been free of the speculation that would have spread had people in her social circle ever spotted her with the kind of bruises that had been inflicted too many times to count.
Back then she’d lived a solitary life in many ways, living for quiet moments in the garden, where she’d nurtured her fragile plants the way she’d longed for someone to nurture her. Thinking about that brought on an overwhelming sense of nostalgia.
“I miss my garden,” she said softly, closing her eyes as she remembered it—purple, white and magenta azaleas in spring, a sea of tulips, then hollyhocks, summer phlox, golden lilies, shaded beds of impatiens and a tinkling waterfall amid a fragrant collection of rosebushes.
“Planting flowers, watching the yard fill with color, even pulling the weeds. The doggone honeysuckle nearly drove me mad, but it smelled so sweet, I even loved that. And I loved the way the sun felt on my shoulders.”
In the year before she’d finally ended her marriage, she’d stopped gardening. Even now she shuddered at the memory of the rampage her husband had gone on, destroying all her hard work, leaving the rosebushes ruined, the flowers wilted and dying in a chaotic heap before he was done. In some ways, his savage attack on her garden had hurt as much as any of the physical attacks she’d endured.
Even after all this time tears filled her eyes at the memory. Suddenly she felt a warm, solid hand covering hers.
“I’m sorry,” Carter said, his expression apologetic. “I shouldn’t have pushed you. This is really none of my business.”
She forced a smile. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
She said the words, maybe even managed to sound convincing, but the truth was, she was anything but fine. The memories had touched a place deep inside that she’d almost buried and left her filled with longing.
The minute Carter Rollins left, she sank down on the sofa to await the arrival of Dr. McDaniels, relieved that she’d finally made the call, even as she was dreading what the psychologist might tell her.
Because if Carter Rollins had done nothing else with his well-timed visit and probing questions, he’d reminded her that there was a life outside these four walls—even if only as far as the backyard—that truly might be worth fighting for.
4 (#ulink_f5514870-fd7a-532f-93aa-156872327d67)
Dr. McDaniels was a thin woman in her fifties with a hint of gray threading through her short dark hair. She had the kind of reassuring smile that invited confidences and a warmth in her eyes that suggested compassion. Though Raylene had only crossed paths with her casually years ago during Annie’s hospitalization, she immediately felt comfortable with her.
“Thank you for agreeing to come here,” Raylene said as she led the way into the living room. “The sitter’s taken the kids to the park, so we won’t be interrupted.”
“Under the circumstances, I’m happy to come here,” Dr. McDaniels said. “Hopefully we can figure out what’s going on and determine the right treatment. If we can accomplish that, it won’t be long before you can come to me.”
“I don’t know,” Raylene said skeptically. “I haven’t left this house in a very long time.”
“How long?”
“I first moved in here right after I left Charleston. Back then, I could at least sit out back in the evening, but eventually even that got to be too much. I suppose it’s been a year or more since I’ve left at all.”
“Have you tried?”
Raylene shook her head. “Once I was back in Serenity and inside this house, it was like I’d used up every bit of bravery I had. I saw this as my safe haven. Thankfully I didn’t have to go back for my husband’s sentencing. He’d pleaded no contest once the D.A. showed him my deposition, along with the medical records that documented how many times I’d been to various emergency rooms, plus the condition I was in the night I lost my baby. Though the prosecutor opted not to charge him in the baby’s death, Paul didn’t want the whole messy incident coming out in court and causing an even bigger scandal for his family. The plea bargain lessened his sentence, as well.”
There was no visible reaction on the doctor’s face as Raylene reported the abuse that had driven her home to Serenity. “How long were you married?” she asked.
“Too long,” Raylene said fervently.
“And you were abused throughout the marriage?”
Humiliated, Raylene nodded. “It was mostly verbal at first, temper tantrums from the stress he was under as an intern.”
“And you thought it was your fault for triggering these bursts of anger,” the psychologist said.
Something in her matter-of-fact approach and her obvious understanding made Raylene feel less ashamed. “You’ve heard this before,” she guessed.
“Too many times,” Dr. McDaniels said. “You do know it wasn’t your fault.”
“I do now. I think I even understood that on an intellectual level back then, but when the man you love keeps hammering it home that you’re responsible if he gets angry, on some level you start to think it must be true. I was too young—barely eighteen when we married—to know better.”
“Did you consider leaving him?”
“I did leave once. I went to my mother and told her what was happening. She thought I was exaggerating. She convinced me to go back and work on my marriage, on making Paul happy. She honestly believed, I think, that I must have been doing something wrong for him to act that way.”
“How’d that make you feel?”
Tears streamed down Raylene’s face at the memory of walking away from her parents’ house that day, her suitcase in hand, what she’d seen as her only hope for an escape dashed. “Alone,” she said at once. “I’d never felt more alone in my life.”
“Couldn’t you have called someone else, Sarah or Annie, perhaps?”
“I’d lost touch with them, and I was too embarrassed, anyway. I hadn’t made any real friends in Charleston. Most were the wives of Paul’s friends, and I didn’t dare go to them.”
“So you were scared and isolated,” the psychologist concluded.
“Pretty much.”
“What finally changed to get you out of the house for good?”
Raylene swallowed hard. “We fought,” she said, not wanting to remember.
“But you’d fought before.”
“This was worse. I…was pregnant. Just a couple of months along.” Paul hadn’t been happy about the baby, but she had been. She’d wanted someone she could love unconditionally, someone to protect the way no one had protected her. In a way, she’d convinced herself that the baby would give her the strength to leave. Ironically, that’s exactly what had happened, though not in the way she’d envisioned.
Raylene buried her face in her hands and wept as she thought about that night, about the punches deliberately aimed at her stomach, the blows that had brought on a miscarriage days later. Paul hadn’t wanted her to go to the emergency room when the bleeding started, but for once she’d defied him, threatening to run screaming from the house if he didn’t let her go quietly. Naturally the threat of exposure in his own neighborhood had given him pause.
She hadn’t gone to the hospital where Paul had privileges. She’d feared his associates would help Paul to cover up the abuse. Instead, she went across town. The doctors there had been horrified. They’d known at a glance what had happened and taken enough pictures to guarantee that Paul would be convicted of a crime, even though sentencing guidelines for a first offense, even of aggravated felony abuse, were next to nothing.
When she’d declared she was leaving him, two doctors at the hospital had physically restrained Paul to keep him from following her. The moment they’d released her, she’d driven straight to Serenity and walked into The Corner Spa to see Annie.
“You’d been living in Charleston?” Dr. McDaniels said, glancing at her notes. “Is that right?”
Raylene nodded.
“How did you get over here? Did you drive yourself?”
She nodded. “I think I was in a state of shock. I barely remember making it to The Corner Spa. Then Annie brought me here.”
“And you literally haven’t left since?”
“I tried a couple of times. It was horrible. I’d get to the car and start shaking so badly that Sarah and Annie practically had to carry me back inside.”
“What do you think is going to happen if you leave the house?”
“I know it’s irrational since my ex-husband is still in jail, but I think he’s going to be there, waiting. I tell myself over and over that there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore, but I still can’t take that next step. I always thought I was pretty strong, but this has me beat.”
“Why haven’t you asked for help before?”
“I guess I felt ashamed because I couldn’t conquer this on my own. Like I said, I knew my reaction was irrational, but the fear was there just the same.” She took a deep breath, then admitted what she’d never told Sarah or Annie. “And I think I was punishing myself.”
“Because you hadn’t protected your baby?” Dr. McDaniels said at once.
Raylene nodded.
“If you can see that much, then you’ve made more progress than you realize. You understand the underlying causes of your problem. Now we just have to get busy and see what works so we can fix it.”
She said it so optimistically that Raylene took heart. “You make it sound so simple.”
“I didn’t say it was going to be simple or easy,” Dr. McDaniels cautioned. “There could be a lot of trial and error and a lot of setbacks before we get it right. Have you tried any medications?”
“None. I thought I could figure it out, you know, with some kind of mind-over-matter thing.”
“But you weren’t figuring it out.”
“I gave up,” she admitted. “I felt safe here.”
“And now? What’s changed?”
“I told you on the phone about letting Tommy slip away from the house. Not being able to go after him was the final straw. Even though Sarah and Travis said they understood and forgave me, I haven’t been able to shake the image of what could have happened.”
“So, you want to change to protect the kids?”
Raylene heard a faint hint of criticism in the question. “You think I should want it for myself.”
“Yes, I do,” Dr. McDaniels said, though not unkindly. “Despite what your ex-husband tried to make you believe, you deserve to have a full life. You have to want that for yourself. I won’t kid you, you’re not going to conquer this overnight. You’ll need a powerful motivation to deal with all the setbacks that might happen along the way.”
“Do you think the medication will help?”
“It may. I’ll consult with your physician—”
“I don’t have one here,” Raylene told her.
“Then I’ll call a colleague of mine. We’ll give medication a try. Even so, I have to be realistic. I can’t promise you a quick fix, Raylene, not to correct a pattern that’s gone on this long. Panic disorder can be complicated, especially when the fear is grounded in a traumatic incident. In your case, it’s not even one incident, but years of living in fear.”
Even though she’d expected that, Raylene felt a fresh batch of tears welling up. On some level she’d hoped Dr. McDaniels could snap her fingers, give her a few pills and the whole problem would vanish. She’d be able to live a normal life again.
“What if nothing works?” she asked, swiping angrily at the tears. It was as if she’d had a fresh start dangled in front of her then snatched away. Even though she told herself that fighting to get better was important, no matter how long it took, she’d obviously hoped for a miracle.
“Don’t be discouraged,” the psychologist said, correctly gauging her mood. “Something will work. I’m not a quitter, and something tells me you aren’t, either.”
“I don’t know how you can say that. I gave up a long time ago.”
“No, you didn’t seek help, and now you have. It’s always better late than never.” She pulled out her cell phone and made a call, apparently to the colleague she’d mentioned. After consulting for a couple of minutes, she nodded and thanked him. “He’s going to call a prescription in to Wharton’s. Someone will deliver it this afternoon. It’s an anti-anxiety medication, a relatively mild dose. We’ll give it a couple of days, then I’ll come back and we’ll try a few experiments.”
Raylene regarded her with suspicion. “Experiments?”
“See if we can get you down those front steps. If you can, so much the better. If you can’t, I’ll have an even better idea of what we’re dealing with.”
Raylene couldn’t imagine a drug on earth powerful enough to accomplish that. “I don’t know—” she began, only to have the doctor cut her off.
“It’s just the beginning, Raylene. We’ll pray for an instant cure, but we’ll work however long it takes to make it happen. The good news is that we know what’s behind the fear. For some people we don’t even have that as a starting point.”
“Okay, then,” Raylene said, her spirits bolstered slightly by the doctor’s quiet confidence.
Dr. McDaniels gave her hand a squeeze. “I’ll say it again, as often as you need to hear it—don’t be discouraged. Every recovery starts with a single step. Just look at Annie and how well she’s doing these days, then think about where we began with her. Today, you’ve taken your first step. On Friday, you’ll take your next one.” She consulted her appointment book. “Is this same time okay for you?”
“It’s fine.” Raylene chuckled. “It’s not as if I’m going anywhere.”
“But you will be,” Dr. McDaniels said. “I promise.”
When she was gone, Raylene stared after her, surprised by the sensation spreading through her. It felt a lot like hope.
She hadn’t felt anything like it since the day she’d shown up in Annie’s office and her friend had told her everything was going to be okay. After years of distrusting the person closest to her, it had been a wonder to finally believe in someone again.
Walter had his notes from the day’s sales calls spread out on a table at Rosalina’s. A half-eaten pepperoni pizza, which he’d pay for with indigestion in a couple of hours, was pushed to one side, and his second beer sat on the table untouched. He didn’t even know why he’d ordered it beyond wanting an excuse not to head back to his room at the Serenity Inn just yet.
When a shadow fell across the table, he glanced up expecting to see the waitress with his check. Instead, he found a woman wearing a halter top, short shorts and a friendly grin. She didn’t wait for an invitation, but slid into the booth opposite him.
“You’re Walter Price, right?” she said.
“I am.”
“Raylene nailed the description,” she said, looking impressed. “For a woman who doesn’t get out, she sure does know the hottest men in town.”
Walter held back a sigh of resignation. “You must be Rory Sue Lewis.”
She looked surprised. “How’d you know?”
“Raylene mentioned you. I figured sooner or later you’d turn up, whether I came looking for you or not.”
“Yeah, she’s matchmaking,” Rory Sue said without a hint of dismay. “But she also said you might be looking for a house or a condo. I could probably live without the meddling, but I never turn my back on a solid real estate lead. That’s one thing I learned from my mom.” She studied him intently. “So, are you? Looking for some property, I mean?”
“First tell me how you knew I’d be here tonight. I assume this isn’t a chance encounter.”
“Raylene said you always eat either here or at Wharton’s around six-thirty. Since I was in the mood for pizza myself, I started here.”
Walter chuckled at Raylene’s audacity in setting this up without clearing it with him, and in her apt description of Rory Sue’s methodology. “Okay, yes, I’d like to find a place to buy. I don’t have time to do a lot of looking, but if the right thing came along, I’d be interested,” he admitted. “Did she explain that I’m waiting for a deal to come through on my house in Alabama?”
“She filled me in. We can work around that. If you can spare a few minutes now to tell me what you’d like, I’ll line up the perfect places and have you all moved in by this time next month.” She eyed the remaining pizza. “Hey, are you going to eat the rest of this?”
“Help yourself.” He beckoned the waitress, then asked Rory Sue, “What would you like to drink?”
“A diet cola will do,” she said, already biting into the first slice of pizza. She sighed with undisguised pleasure. “I only allow myself to eat this once a month. It’s way too fattening otherwise.”
“I’ve noticed,” Walter said, thinking of his own expanding waistline. Maybe he would take Ronnie Sullivan up on his invitation to join him, Cal Maddox, Tom McDonald and some of the other men in town to shoot hoops sometime.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with your body,” she said, giving him a frank survey. “I did mention you’re hot, didn’t I?”
Walter had been hearing some variation of that since high school. It no longer had the power to seduce him. He’d realized how little looks mattered. He’d prefer it these days if someone told him he was living his life with integrity.
“Is that part of your sales spiel?” he asked Rory Sue.
“Nope, just an observation. I pretty much say what’s on my mind.”
“I imagine that gets you into trouble from time to time.”
“Not so much with men,” she said candidly. “They seem to appreciate knowing where they stand with me. I don’t have a lot of women friends, though.”
“Not even Raylene?”
“Not really. She, Annie and Sarah are tight, but I’m a couple of years younger.” She gave him a chagrined look. “And then there was a bit of a misunderstanding when Sarah thought I was after Travis.”
Walter was finding the conversation more intriguing by the minute. “Were you?”
“Sure,” she said with a shrug. “What woman with a libido wouldn’t have been, but he only had eyes for Sarah.” She winced, then added, “Sorry. See what I mean? I say whatever comes into my head. I didn’t think about the fact that Sarah’s your ex-wife. Does it bother you that she and Travis are together?”
Walter didn’t think the situation called for an in-depth discussion of his very complicated feelings on that subject. “My marriage was over a long time ago,” he said, and left it at that.
She regarded him skeptically. “There’s an edge in your voice that tells me you’re not as happy about that as you’d like everyone to believe.”
Surprised that she was that astute, he decided he shouldn’t sell her short again. “The situation is what it is. I thought we were going to talk about real estate.”
Rory Sue immediately sat up straighter, displaying an intriguing amount of cleavage, especially when she leaned forward and reached for a piece of paper from his notepad. “You mind?” she asked, also borrowing his pen. “Okay, let’s get started. Describe the perfect house.”
Walter thought of the large colonial he and Sarah had lived in back in Alabama. It had been chosen by his mother, mostly because it was the largest house in the most impressive neighborhood in town. He’d never felt comfortable there. Nor had Sarah, though she’d done her best to make the echoing, too-large rooms seem cozy and inviting.
“Something small,” he said at once. “Three bedrooms, a couple of baths, maybe a patio out back. A nice yard for the kids. Nothing fancy.”
“You need a gourmet kitchen?”
“I need a functioning kitchen.”
“You know the house you just described, don’t you? The one Sarah’s living in right now. Maybe you could buy it when she and Travis get married.”
Walter shook his head. “Right style, but I want something I can move into now. Besides, I think Raylene’s planning to buy it.” They’d talked about that on several occasions. He’d tried telling her it would be a mistake, that she was getting entirely too comfortable in her hideout. Maybe, though, Dr. McDaniels would get through to her and she’d move on, find her own home and her own life.
“Do you prefer a house or a condo?” Rory Sue asked. “Something brand new or older?”
“A house,” he said at once, wanting something that would feel at least marginally like a home, rather than a bachelor pad. “And older, with full-grown trees and a lawn, not a patch of bare ground with no shade.”
She nodded. “Got it. When are you free? Can you give me an hour tomorrow?”
Walter was startled by the hint of efficiency. He’d labeled her more of a scatterbrain, which just proved his instincts about women were no better than they use to be. Heaven knew, he’d misjudged Sarah often enough.
“That soon?” he asked.
She shrugged. “You said you wanted to move in now. Why mess around? I’ll go through my listings tonight and be ready to show you three or four things tomorrow. You tell me when.”
“Five o’clock?” he suggested.
“Works for me,” she said, then gave him a look that was more impish than come-hither. “And if I’ve found the perfect place, you can buy me dinner to celebrate. How’s that for a deal?”
Regarding her with bemusement, Walter nodded. “I can’t recall a better one.”
She slid out of the booth. “Then I’d better get busy, if I’m going to prove that I’m as good as my mom in this real estate gig. Thanks for the pizza, Walter. We’ll chalk this up as our first date.” She winked. “Just so you know, with me things usually start to get really interesting by the end of the second date.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. “Just one thing.”
“Yes?”
“In my world, for them to count as dates, I need to do the asking, so let’s think of tonight and tomorrow as all business, okay?”
For a moment, she looked startled, but then she tossed her mane of chestnut hair and laughed. “An old-fashioned guy! Who’d have thought it? Okay, Walter, we’ll play this your way. I’ll see you tomorrow at five. And since dinner’s business, I’ll buy.”
“Do you always have to have the last word?”
“I don’t have to,” she told him, “but it usually works out that way.”
She sashayed off before he could respond, giving him an excellent view of a backside that would make most men weep. She left Walter wondering just what in heaven’s name Raylene had been thinking.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and punched in the number at Sarah’s. Raylene picked up.
“I’ve just had a very interesting, supposedly chance encounter with Rory Sue Lewis,” he told her. “What do you know about that?”
“I might have mentioned your real estate needs to her,” she said, a barely contained hint of laughter threading through her voice. “Does she think she can find you a house?”
“That’s the least of what she thinks she can do for me,” he said.
“I thought the two of you might hit it off.”
“Hit it off? She scares me to death.”
Raylene did laugh then. “Walter Price, you did not just say that.”
“I mean it. She’s pushy and blatantly sexual.”
“Isn’t that every man’s dream?”
“I suppose some men fantasize about women chasing them, but personally I prefer a more demure, traditional type.”
“Because your marriage to a woman like that worked out so well?” Raylene taunted.
Walter faltered at that. When he remained silent, Raylene added, “You need a woman who’ll stand up to you and give you a run for your money, Walter. Admit it, once Sarah left you and started doing that, you found her a lot more fascinating.”
“True, but there’s no comparison between Sarah, even now with her newfound self-confidence, and Rory Sue. Sarah would kill you if she heard you trying to make one. Rory Sue’s like some kind of barracuda-in-training.”
“An apt description,” Raylene agreed. “You don’t have to date Rory Sue, you know. Just let her find you someplace to live and enjoy the sparks along the way. There were sparks at least, right?”
“Oh, there were sparks,” he conceded reluctantly. “The kind that could burn a man if he’s not careful.”
“Then be careful.”
“Oh, I will be,” he assured her. “And next time you get any crazy ideas about matchmaking, my friend, see if you can’t find someone who’ll put some roses in your cheeks and leave me alone.”
Raylene didn’t respond. Walter pounced on her silence.
“Raylene Hammond, have you already found that someone?”
“Don’t be silly. Where would I find someone?” she asked. “Men don’t just appear magically outside my door. Isn’t that what you’re always telling me?”
“But one has. I can hear it in your voice.”
“You’re imagining things,” she said.
Walter let it drop. If there was something going on in her life, God bless her, he’d find out about it soon enough. Tommy, for example, was a little blabbermouth when it came to anything going on at home.
“Tell me how things went with Dr. McDaniels,” he said instead.
As she filled him in, Walter heard a familiar note of defeat in her voice.
“You didn’t expect to run out of the first session and go skipping down the block, did you?”
“Not really, but it’s clearly going to be hard work. She managed to drag out a lot of bad memories and insisted on dissecting them. I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”
“You’re not scared of hard work, are you?”
“No,” she said with a hint of indignation, but then her bravado failed her. “I’m scared of failing.”
“You are not going to fail,” he said adamantly. “There’s too much at stake—your entire future, in case you need reminding. Besides, you have this huge support system in place. We’ll all be right beside you every step of the way.”
His words were greeted by silence and then she asked, “Walter, back when I was on your case every ten seconds for the way you were treating Sarah, did you ever think we’d wind up being friends?”
“To be honest, I never thought much about being friends with any woman,” he said.
She laughed. “Exactly as I thought, which is why Rory Sue is perfect for you. You can thank me later. Good night.”
“Good night.”
“Oh, Walter, wait,” she said, a teasing note in her voice. “Pleasant dreams!”
He bit off the retort that came to mind. With an image of Rory Sue’s scantily clad body firmly implanted in his head, he doubted there was much sleep in his immediate future, anyway.
5 (#ulink_a9011a9a-b2bd-5e9e-849f-9106887ee48a)
Carter had no idea why Raylene got to him the way she did. She was obviously going through a tough time and it was just as plain her problems were more than he had any idea how to handle. He was barely coping with his own life these days. Trying to keep two strong-willed teenagers on the straight and narrow had turned out to be a challenge beyond his wildest expectations.
Still, despite all of his own worries, he couldn’t seem to shake that nostalgic, tearful expression on Raylene’s face when she’d mentioned gardening. That hint of vulnerability from a woman who was otherwise strong enough to accept her own limitations—self-imposed though they might be—nagged at him for several days.
On Saturday morning, done with fretting and ready to take action, he dragged the girls out of bed at what they considered the unholy hour of ten, and told them to be dressed and in the car in thirty minutes.
“Why?” Carrie asked with a moan. “It’s Saturday.”
“And you don’t want to waste a minute of it,” he said cheerfully.
Unimpressed by his good mood, she scowled back at him. “What’s the big hurry?”
“We have places to go, things to do, people to see,” he declared, using something their mother had frequently cited when she wanted them to get moving. She’d also said that getting everyone into the car was a little like herding cats, something he was just beginning to understand as his sisters grew increasingly stubborn and independent.
Carrie eyed him suspiciously. “What places? What things? What people?”
“You’ll see,” he told her. “Now, hustle.”
Mandy was marginally more upbeat and cooperative. Always eager for something new, she was downstairs shoveling Cheerios into her mouth in ten minutes.
“Can we drive over to McDonald’s for lunch?” she asked, even as she consumed enough cereal for five normal kids.
“We’ll see,” he told her.
“I don’t want fast food,” Carrie said, overhearing the end of the conversation as she wandered into the kitchen, still in her pj’s. “It’s too fattening.”
This was a recent refrain, he’d noticed. It had started when she turned fifteen and gotten worse as she approached her sixteenth birthday. He found it worrisome, since she weighed next to nothing as it was. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he told her emphatically. “Now, eat something, and let’s hit the road.”
Carrie rolled her eyes. “Unlike some people, I don’t have to eat my weight in cereal first thing in the morning.”
Carter frowned at her. “And unlike some people, you don’t have nearly as much energy. Eat! Do I need to remind you—”
“That breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” she said sourly. “Okay, fine.”
He stood there until she’d finished at least a token serving of cereal, then rinsed the dishes and put them into the dishwasher.
As soon as the girls were buckled into the car, he pulled out of the driveway and turned toward the nursery he’d spotted outside of town.
“Where are we going?” Carrie asked again. “There’s nothing out here. Why can’t we go to Columbia? At least there, we lived in civilization. There were actually movies in town, and stores. You promised when we moved here we could go back to visit, but you hardly ever take us.”
Carter had heard it all before. “I took you two weeks ago,” he reminded her. “We went to the mall, where you spent an hour calling your friends from your cell phone, instead of doing the shopping you’d told me was so vital to your very existence. Today we’re doing something different.”
“I know,” Mandy said excitedly. “We’re going to get plants for the garden, aren’t we? There’s a nursery out here.”
“You got it, kid,” he confirmed, only to see Carrie roll her eyes in disgust.
“I want tomatoes and squash and corn and maybe even watermelon, okay?” Mandy said. “I think there’s enough room in the backyard. And it’s really sunny back there, so everything should grow great.”
“We’ll ask at the nursery,” Carter said. “How about you, Carrie? What do you want in the garden this year?”
She was silent until he sent a warning look in her direction.
“Some lettuce and yellow peppers, I guess,” she said without much enthusiasm. “At least I can make a salad.”
“Good idea. I think we’ll get some flowers, too,” Carter said, his tone deliberately nonchalant. “They’d look nice out front, don’t you think?”
Next to him, Carrie made a face. “Who’s going to plant them and take care of them? Not me.”
“I will,” Mandy offered. “Flowers will look pretty by the front door.” She frowned. “But we’ve never grown them before. Mom always took care of the flowers. What if they die?”
An idea had been blossoming in Carter’s mind for a few days now. “I know someone who might be able to give us some advice,” he said.
“Who?” Carrie asked, instantly suspicious.
“A woman I met the other day.”
His sister gave him a knowing look. “So what? You’re using us and the whole flower thing to get a date or something?”
He shook his head at once. “It’s not like that,” he insisted, then fell silent, because the truth was, it might be exactly like that. If this worked out the way he hoped, he might be spending a whole lot more time with Raylene.
When an unfamiliar truck turned into the driveway at Sarah’s, Raylene checked to make sure the kids were still watching a video in the den with Laurie. They’d both fallen asleep on the sofa, and Laurie was looking through a teen magazine of some kind. Raylene left them and went to the door.
When Carter Rollins emerged from the truck, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a T-shirt rather than his deputy uniform, she felt a little zing of anticipation. The sensation stunned her. Because of her marriage, she’d assumed there’d never be another man in her life she’d trust, much less be happy to see. That it happened to be this particular man was even more of a surprise.
Of course, she reminded herself, sexual attraction didn’t necessarily go hand in hand with trust. Carter might appeal to her on some purely sensual level, but that didn’t mean she intended to let him into her life. In a way, though, it was nice to know she could still appreciate a fine specimen of manhood when one happened to cross her path.
She opened the door, but remained safely inside. “You must be off duty,” she said as he approached. “What brings you by?”
“I came by to ask a favor,” he said, regarding her with a sheepish expression. “And I’ll do something for you in return, if you agree.”
She regarded him warily. When strong men got that helpless look, they were usually up to something. When they started talking about mysterious favors, alarm bells went off.
“Oh?” she said. “What exactly is this favor?”
“You mentioned something the other day about gardening, and I was hoping you could give me some tips.”
She frowned. “I’m not an expert. You could talk to Doug at the nursery just west of town and get better advice. His family’s owned it forever. I think they’re all master gardeners.”
He shook his head sorrowfully. “You must not know much about men. We hate admitting to other men that there are things we don’t know.”
She regarded him doubtfully. “But it’s okay to admit it to me?”
“Sure. You’ll just think I’m charmingly inept. Don’t all women love feeling superior to the men in their lives?”
“To be honest, I’ve never had that experience,” she said. “That certainly wasn’t the way the balance of power worked in my marriage.”
He gave her a questioning look, but didn’t pry. She gave him points for that.
“Will you at least think about giving me some advice?” he asked.
“And what do I get in return?”
“I bought a lot more plants than we’ll ever find room for in my yard. I thought you might want some for here.”
A tiny spark of forgotten excitement stirred to life inside her, and then reality hit. “I can’t accept them,” she said, unable to hide her disappointment.
“Why?”
She scrambled for an excuse, rather than admitting that it would be impossible for her to plant the garden, no matter how badly she might want to. “This isn’t my house. I’m not sure Sarah would appreciate it if I suddenly started landscaping around here.” The excuse sounded hollow to her ears, especially since she knew that as soon as Sarah and Travis set their wedding date, this house was likely to become hers. Hopefully Carter knew nothing of that plan.
His gaze met hers and he waited, clearly anticipating more.
Raylene sighed. “I thought you understood. I can’t leave the house, and I can’t expect Sarah to plant a garden to indulge some whim of mine.”
“But I could do it,” he said. “You could tell me what to do and I’ll provide the labor. You’d probably enjoy bossing me around. My sisters certainly do.”
She considered the possibility. Even if she let him do all the planting, who would care for the garden? In this heat, it would need frequent watering, to say nothing of weeding.
“It’s a lovely offer, but I don’t think so,” she said with real regret.
He studied her intently, then muttered what sounded like a curse under his breath. “It’s about the upkeep, too, isn’t it? Don’t worry about that. I’ll come by. So will my sisters. Let us do this for you.”
Pleased by his determination and too delighted with the idea to keep coming up with excuses, valid or otherwise, Raylene slowly nodded. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I weren’t. Do we have a deal?”
She couldn’t help the rush of excitement that stirred when she imagined having a garden again. If she closed her eyes, she could even imagine a time when she’d be able to sit outside and enjoy it.
“I would love it,” she admitted eventually, “if you’re sure you don’t mind doing all the work.”
“I don’t mind,” he confirmed. “You can pay me back with advice and lemonade. Shall we give it a try? I have the plants in the truck.”
She regarded him with amusement. “You were awfully confident you could talk me into this, weren’t you?”
He grinned. “Pretty much. Something told me you’d be a pushover if I dangled the promise of a few flowers in front of you.”
“Don’t get the idea I’m a pushover, Deputy Rollins,” she said with mock severity. “You’d be wrong.”
“Every women has a few weaknesses,” he commented with a wink. “I just happened to figure out one of yours.”
He walked toward the truck and left her wondering why he’d even given the matter so much thought. Most men, knowing her circumstances and the unlikelihood of anything approaching a normal relationship, wouldn’t have bothered. Rather than worrying about his motives, though, she told herself to be grateful for this impulsive, sweet gesture of his.
While Carter unloaded the plants and carried them around back, she woke the kids and brought them into the kitchen. “You want to help Deputy Rollins with the garden?” she asked, knowing they’d be safe with him and would enjoy the freedom of being outside. It would also give Laurie time to run to the store to look for the dress she wanted for her date tonight.
Tommy immediately raced for the kitchen door, but Libby hung back. Rebuffed once too often by her own father, whose entire focus seemed to be on her big brother, she’d only recently begun to feel more comfortable around men. Thankfully, Walter himself was responsible for the change. He’d finally realized what a treasure she was and started giving her a fair share of his attention. That, plus undisguised adoration from Travis, had been a huge boost to Libby’s confidence, but she still hung back around other men until she was sure of her welcome.
Raylene pulled a chair over to the doorway and lifted Libby into her lap. “You and I get to supervise,” she told her, loudly enough to be overheard by Carter. He cast a grin in her direction.
“Oh, great! Now I have two women bossing me around,” he grumbled with mock dismay. “Tommy, you’re going to have to help me stand up to them.”
“Okay,” Tommy agreed at once, eager to please. “What do we do?”
Carter shrugged. “Beats me.” He turned to Raylene. “Any ideas?”
For the next two hours, he and Tommy dug where she told them to and trimmed the yard with tall sunflowers and vibrant hollyhocks, patches of bright impatiens in partially shaded areas and even two fragrant rosebushes for either side of the kitchen doorway. The result was a far cry from the carefully tended garden at her home in Charleston, but it was bright and cheery and brought a smile to her face. Looking at the results, she had to blink back tears.
Standing in front of her, Carter seemed shaken by her display of emotion. “This was supposed to be a good thing.”
“It’s a wonderful thing,” she said, impulsively reaching out to give his hand a squeeze. “Thank you. It was wonderful of you to think of doing this. Even if I can’t take a single step outside, I’ll be able to smell the roses from right here.”
“No big deal,” he insisted, looking uncomfortable with her gratitude.
“Now, what can I do in return? Of course, I want to pay you for the plants.”
“Absolutely not,” he said indignantly. “I told you I bought too many.”
“I can believe you bought too many flats of annuals, but extra rosebushes? I doubt that.”
“Really, no. I can’t take your money. It was my pleasure.”
“It was more like a backbreaking couple of hours.”
“I enjoyed every minute,” he said, meeting her gaze with a steady look. “Really.”
Raylene shuddered under the intensity of that gaze. “Okay, then, what advice do you need for your garden?”
“Actually, you’ve already helped out. I’ll just try to re-create what we’ve done here.” He frowned. “Of course, we don’t have much shade.”
“Then you’re really going to have to keep an eye on the impatiens. They need a lot of water if they’re in bright sunlight. Otherwise they’ll wilt. And the sunflowers and hollyhocks will do best either against a fence or with stakes. Once they’re in full bloom, they’ll tend to fall over without some kind of support.”
“Got it,” he said. He gave her an appealing look. “Maybe one of these days, when you know me better and feel safe with me, you’ll come over and take a look and see if there’s any other advice I need to follow.”
She regarded him with frustration. “It doesn’t work that way, Carter. I’m plenty comfortable with Sarah and Annie, but I can’t leave here with them, either. Don’t take it personally.”
He backed down at once. “You’re right,” he said, looking flustered. “I’m sorry. I don’t totally understand how something like this works. Worse, I’m the kind of guy who automatically wants to make things better. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“It’s okay,” she said, not wanting to ruin his lovely gesture. “But I do think you should go now. I need to fix the kids a snack and then get started on supper before Sarah and Travis get home. They were doing some kind of remote for the radio station today.”
“And they’re not back yet? Where’s the sitter?” His worried expression was far more telling than the simple question.
Under other circumstances, she would have found his attitude insulting, but she understood why he was concerned. It just grated that it had to be that way. “She came back a while ago. Want me to call her in here so you can see for yourself that the kids are in good hands?”
He winced at her sarcasm. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I understand why you felt the need to ask. I really do.”
“Okay, then, I’ll see you soon. Maybe next time I drop by, I’ll bring the girls over. Would that be okay? I know Mandy would love to see the garden. She’s not going to believe I actually pulled off an actual flower garden. Up until this year I’ve stuck to vegetables.”
Raylene regarded him with a penetrating look. “Carter, what’s going on here? Are you still trying to make up for accusing me of being negligent with the kids? Or am I your pet charity case?”
He looked annoyed by the question. He took a step closer, but something in her expression must have warned him away, because he immediately backed off. Oddly, she felt suddenly bereft, as if she’d missed an important opportunity to feel alive again.
Holding her gaze, he said quietly, “If you don’t see what’s going on here, then I’ll have to figure out some way to make it plain.” For the second time he looked deep into her eyes, his gaze steady. “I like you. I enjoy your company. And one of these days, I have a hunch I’m going to kiss you, Raylene.” He grinned. “By then, you’re going to be ready for it.”
She trembled at the warning and the promise. She just doubted that such a day would ever come. Because no matter how attracted they might be to each other, a relationship simply wasn’t in the cards.
“I have a garden in my backyard,” Sarah announced with wonder that evening. She turned to stare at Raylene. “How’d that happen?”
“Carter Rollins,” Raylene said, her voice tight.
Sarah frowned. “Okay, let me see if I can figure this out. Carter Rollins made what seems to me to be an incredibly sweet gesture, and somehow that’s annoyed you.”
“It’s not the gesture that annoyed me,” Raylene insisted. “It’s what he wants in return.”
“Which is?”
“Me,” Raylene said, still not able to get over her shock that a man as sexy and appealing as Carter would want someone with her emotional baggage. “He obviously has some knight-in-shining-armor complex or something.”
“He’s a cop. Don’t they all want to save the world?”
“Well, I don’t want to be his project.”
“But you do want him,” Sarah guessed. “I can see it in your eyes. The guy turns you on.”
Sarah was the second person to suggest such a thing. Even Walter had figured it out, and he hadn’t even had to see her face to do it. Obviously there was no point in faking a denial. “Well, if you weren’t madly in love with Travis, Carter would probably turn you on, too. He’d turn on any woman with a functioning libido.”
“But your libido has been in hibernation,” Sarah said, fighting a grin. “Is that what you find so annoying? You’re suddenly faced with the fact that you’re still alive?”
Raylene scowled at her, but Sarah merely waited her out. “Okay, yes,” she said finally. “I don’t want to feel anything for him or anyone else because there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. No man is ever going to want to be tied to a woman who can’t leave the house.”
“If I recall, most bedrooms are inside houses,” Sarah teased.
“You know what I mean,” Raylene said. “My situation isn’t normal. It may never be normal.”
“Didn’t you tell me after your second appointment with Dr. McDaniels yesterday that she’s optimistic?”
“Of course she’s optimistic. Do you think she’s going to come in here, throw up her hands and tell me I’m beyond hope? Shrinks don’t like to admit defeat.”
“Or maybe she really believes you’re going to get better,” Sarah countered. Her gaze narrowed. “Or did I miss something? Did something happen on Friday to leave you sounding so discouraged? Now that I think about it, you’ve been in this weird mood ever since that session.”
“I’m just facing reality,” Raylene said.
“Meaning?”
“The medication didn’t do a thing to help. I felt so good, too. I was calm and relaxed. Dr. McDaniels had this really soothing tone that helped me. I was so ready to walk out of the house. I just knew I could do it.” She sighed. “And then, the second I tried to step outside, I nearly came unglued. It was bizarre. I had absolutely no control over it. Talk about a reality check.”
“Gee, and you’d been on the medication and in treatment for how long? Two whole days? I’m shocked,” Sarah said with exaggerated disbelief.
“It’s not funny,” Raylene said. “There should have been some sign of change.”
“Was Dr. McDaniels expecting a miraculous change?” Sarah asked.
“No.”
“What exactly did she say?”
“Not to be discouraged, that it could take a while for the medication to kick in, that I might need a stronger dose or a different medication, blah-blah-blah.”
“Oh, sweetie, I know it must have been frustrating, but she’s right. You’ve been suffering with this disorder, phobia or whatever it is for a couple of years now. It’s not going to vanish overnight.”
“It might never go away,” Raylene said. “I need to accept that.”
“Don’t you dare give in to such a defeatist attitude!” Sarah said heatedly. “I will not allow you to give up, especially after just two sessions with Dr. McDaniels. Do I have to call the rest of the Sweet Magnolias and stage an intervention? Because I will, if that’s what you need. You are better than this, Raylene Hammond. You are not a quitter. And, frankly, if a man as sexy as you seem to think Carter Rollins is suddenly wants to hang around, I’d think that would be motivation enough to keep you fighting to get better.”
“I never said I was going to quit,” Raylene said. “You don’t need to resort to an intervention. I just said I need to accept reality.”
“Accepting is barely one step away from giving up,” Sarah said, obviously still agitated. “Not an option, is that clear?”
Raylene regarded her with amusement. “If Walter could only see you now. You’re definitely not the meek little woman who let him and his parents get away with bullying her.”
Sarah blinked at the comment. “You know, you’re right. I have changed. And while we’re on the subject of Walter, what’s this I hear about you trying to fix him up with Rory Sue? The word is out the two of them were at Rosalina’s the other night.”
Relieved to have the focus off her mental state and off Carter, Raylene merely grinned. “I thought it might be fun.”
“Are you crazy? Rory Sue and Walter?” She shook her head. “If he ever took her home to Alabama, both his parents would wind up in the cardiac-care unit of the local hospital.”
“Like I said, fun,” Raylene repeated. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe you actually care about what those two awful people think.”
“No, but I don’t necessarily want them dead.”
“Well, their state of mind and health are no longer your concern, and Walter’s life needs shaking up. It’s time he stops pining for what he lost when the two of you got divorced.”
“Walter has hardly been pining for me.”
“Of course he has. He just knows he doesn’t stand a chance now that you have Travis in your life, though frankly, the fact that you haven’t set a wedding date yet must be giving him hope.”
Sarah regarded her indignantly. “You know perfectly well that there are a lot of reasons we haven’t set a date yet. Getting the station up and running has been a lot of work. With such a small staff, we couldn’t both be gone for even a brief honeymoon, and we agreed we want a big wedding. That takes time to plan. And then there are my folks. My dad’s health hasn’t been good, so he hasn’t been up to traveling.”
“Okay, I get it,” Raylene said. “But does Walter?”
“He certainly ought to by now,” Sarah said. “The two of us were always a terrible match, anyway.”
“True enough,” Raylene said. “He fed your insecurities. Not intentionally, maybe. It’s just the way things were as long as you were living under his parents’ thumb.”
“Let’s get back to Rory Sue,” Sarah said, once again looking bewildered. “Seriously? You honestly think those two belong together?”
“They’ll have to figure that out for themselves,” Raylene said. “But I do think she’s self-confident enough to give him a run for his money. Walter needs a challenge.”
“Meaning I’m a wimp,” Sarah said, looking disgruntled.
“You were a wimp,” Raylene concurred without hesitation. “And now you’re not. You are the woman you were meant to be—strong, confident, comfortable in your own skin. Watching the transformation has been amazing. You’re amazing!”
Sarah’s expression brightened at her words, but then Raylene realized the change had nothing to do with her. Travis opened the kitchen door and at the sight of him, Sarah practically glowed with happiness. It was that way whenever he dropped by, which was most nights and weekends. For a man who lived blocks away, he was underfoot a lot.
“Hey,” he said in his low, sexy drawl, his gaze on his fiancée. Raylene might as well not have been in the room.
“Hey,” Sarah said, equally oblivious to the fact that they had company.
“I’ll just go and check on the kids now,” Raylene said, backing out of the kitchen. “Don’t let the casserole burn.”
She shook her head as she left. She doubted they’d heard a word. It was a toss-up whether her friends or dinner would go up in flames first.
6 (#ulink_b9422683-0161-5166-a2a0-bed441e384e1)
The following Saturday the kids had gone to the ball field with Sarah and Travis, and Raylene was alone in the house, when Carter’s truck pulled up out front. Two teenagers climbed out. Raylene guessed these were Carter’s sisters. The girl who appeared older wore the sulky, bored expression of someone who wanted to be anywhere else but here. The other teen was gazing around with frank curiosity as her brother led the way to the front door.
Filled with a mix of anticipation and annoyance, Raylene held it open as they approached.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” she said, her tone light but chiding.
The younger girl frowned at Carter. “You didn’t call to say we were coming or to see if she’d be home? What is wrong with you? That is so rude.” She grinned at Raylene. “You have to make allowances for him. Our parents did try to teach him some manners. Honest.”
Raylene smiled. “I’m sure they did. Do you suppose he’ll remember to introduce us? I’m Raylene.”
“And I’m Mandy,” the young teen replied. “Sourpuss here is Carrie.”
“That’s no way to talk about your sister,” Carter scolded.
“Oh, come on,” Mandy protested. “She’s been cranky all day.”
“I can wait in the truck if you find my company so objectionable,” Carrie snapped, then glanced apologetically at Raylene. “Sorry. You shouldn’t have to listen to our family squabbles.”
“I don’t mind,” Raylene said, feeling an unexpected sense of camaraderie for this girl who’d lost her parents just when she was entering the vulnerable teenage years and needed them the most. “Come on inside, all of you.”
“I wanted the girls to see the garden and to check to see if it needs watering or weeding,” Carter told her. “I hope that’s okay. We won’t stay long.”
“Of course it’s okay. How about some lemonade or sweet tea before you go outside again?” Raylene asked. “Even for June, it’s miserably hot today. And I baked sugar cookies yesterday.”
“Sounds good to me,” Mandy said eagerly. “Nobody bakes at our house. Carrie used to, but then she discovered that cookies have…” She lowered her voice to an exaggerated whisper and added, “Calories!”
Carter nodded sadly. “It’s true. That was the day our source of home-baked cookies died.”
Raylene watched Carrie’s expression. Even though her brother and sister were obviously teasing, the barbs clearly hit home. Carrie looked as if she might cry. Again, Raylene felt an unexpected connection to her.
“Well, consider me your new source for cookies,” Raylene told them. “I bake two or three times a week. Travis grabs a handful every time he passes through the kitchen, which he seems to find excuses to do a dozen times while he’s here every day. He’s like some kind of bottomless pit when it comes to sweets. I can’t tell you how much Sarah and I envy him.”
Interest flickered in Carrie’s eyes. “Are you talking about Travis McDonald, the guy on the radio?”
Raylene nodded.
“He lives here?” Carrie said, clearly excited by the possibility that she’d stumbled into the home of a local celebrity.
“No, but Sarah does. They’re engaged, so he’s over here a lot.”
“Then you see him all the time?” Carrie persisted.
“Quite a bit,” Raylene confirmed.
“Oh, my gosh! He is so sexy on the air. That voice…” She made an elaborate show of fanning herself.
Raylene grinned. “Yeah, he has that effect on me, too.”
Carter appeared fascinated by that news. “Okay, I’m a guy. You’re going to have to explain it to me. What does Travis McDonald have that, say, I don’t?”
Carrie rolled her eyes at the question, but Raylene met his gaze. “Sorry. It’s the voice. Not that the package is anything to sneer at, but that deep, slow, sexy drawl is something else.”
“Does Sarah know her fiancé gets you all charged up?” he asked.
To Raylene’s regret he sounded more curious than jealous. “It took a while, but I think she’s gotten used to women swooning every time he opens his mouth,” she said.
“Do you think we could meet him sometime?” Mandy asked.
Carter regarded her as if she was a traitor. “Not you, too?”
“Hey, I’m a girl, too,” Mandy said, then regarded Raylene hopefully. “Is he coming by today?”
Raylene nodded. “He and Sarah should be back soon. They take the kids out for pizza after they play T-ball, but they usually get Tommy and Libby back here for their naps.”
Carrie regarded Carter hopefully. “Can we stay?” She turned to Raylene. “Would you mind?”
“It’s fine with me,” Raylene told her as she took glasses from the cupboard and poured lemonade for everyone. She opened a tin of freshly baked cookies and put them on a plate. Mandy and Carter reached for them eagerly, but Carrie ignored them and went to the back door to look out at the garden. After a minute, she turned, an expression of shock on her face. “Carter, you did that? You planted all those flowers?”
He winked at Raylene. “I had a lot of guidance.”
“Can we go check it out?” Mandy asked, joining her sister at the door.
“You may,” Carter said, subtly correcting her.
Mandy stuck out her tongue. “May we?”
“You may, if you’ll get the hose and water everything while you’re out there,” Carter said. He turned to Raylene. “It needs it, right?”
“It does, and I would appreciate it,” Raylene said, then almost regretted giving permission when she was left alone with Carter, who was studying her with what was becoming an increasingly unnerving look of fascination.
“Thanks for not slamming the door in my face,” he said.
She bit back a smile. “Unlike you, I remembered the manners I was taught. And I’m sure you knew I’d never slam the door if you turned up here with your sisters, especially with all my lovely flowers out there drooping from the heat.”
“I was hoping,” he admitted with an unrepentant grin.
“They’re lovely girls.”
“You can say that even after Carrie walked in here with an attitude?”
“She’s sixteen, right? It comes with the territory. Believe me, I remember that stage all too well.”
“She’ll be sixteen in a few months, but I get what you’re saying. Does that mean Mandy’s sunny disposition will vanish and she’ll be transformed into an impossible little diva in another year or so?” He looked shaken by the thought.
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Sherryl Woods
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Her devastating marriage behind her, Raylene Hammond is truly thankful for her best friends, the Sweet Magnolias. They′ve taken her in, shielding her from the world. Then she meets sheriff′s deputy Carter Rollins, and suddenly Raylene′s haven no longer feels quite so safe.Carter understands why Raylene is trapped inside. He′s even taken to bringing the outside world to her. But with two kid sisters to raise, just how much time can he devote to this woman who′s stolen his heart?Raylene knows Carter is a man worth loving, but she may never be strong enough to accept what he′s offering. How long can she ask him to wait? Maybe they′ll never have more than this one sweet summer.