The Best Christmas Ever
Cheryl Wolverton
CHRISTMAS WISHES…Mickie:All she wanted for Christmas was a new mommy, one who loved baking cookies with little girls. But not just any mommy would do–it had to be their new housekeeper, Aunt Sarah….Sarah:She'd come to heal the past, but adorable Mickie and her handsome father soon tole her heart. Yet Sarah feared that Justin would never want to marry her, especially when he learned her unhappy secret….Justin:He wanted to show Sarah forgiveness. But soon he yearned for much more. Could she come to love him as he loved her? Could they ever be a family? Justin prayed for a way to make all his Christmas wishes come true….
Table of Contents
Cover Page (#u5bbb1e03-2e79-5875-b188-3458da118a9c)
Excerpt (#u2dbebf43-6d21-548a-89b3-4c0b04a9caf1)
About the Author (#u45429e24-4830-58bb-af69-4849b8b6c920)
Title Page (#u15b668a5-561b-52a1-9acc-07d182f12d1a)
Epigraph (#u0fb512da-a20e-5a99-91f2-85b7df63b4d4)
Dedication (#uf615e703-acd0-581c-8bed-cc29662ee723)
Prologue (#u2423277f-93cc-589c-be46-7a56530c6c7a)
Chapter One (#u97fd7a2f-da6c-5ede-b895-72d944fc4484)
Chapter Two (#u11f79268-5ee3-57a3-b4c8-5153821e6f75)
Chapter Three (#u8c557bfd-49f4-57b0-b73e-cb98145b7804)
Chapter Four (#ud016c409-9dde-5e82-a70f-c164ebda4858)
Chapter Five (#u19c8f96e-1aea-59c4-a503-0a6a6edb51ca)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
What was it about Sarah that was
different from all the others?
She brought out a surge of protectiveness and tenderness, true. He wanted to hold her, protect her. But why? Why her? His feelings were disconcerting.
Justin shook his head, feeling an emotion churning in his gut.
Loneliness.
He had to admit he was lonely. He loved his daughter. But he missed having someone closer around to share his experiences with. Someone to talk with in the evening when he got home from work, someone to laugh with over a joke or share those little secret smiles when Mickie did something really adorable. Someone to hold when he felt overwhelmed. Someone to love with all his heart.
But Sarah?
No. Anyone but her…
CHERYL WOLVERTON
Growing up in a small military town in Oklahoma, where she used to make up stories with her next-door neighbor, Cheryl says she’s always written, but never dreamed of having anything published. But after years of writing her own Sunday school material in the different churches where she’s taught young children, and wanting to see more happy endings, she decided to give it a try, and found herself unable to stop.
Seeing so many people hurting, afraid to reach out and accept God’s forgiveness, she felt inspired to begin writing stories about God’s love and forgiveness in romances, because, she says, “We can’t truly have happily ever after, if we don’t have that happily-ever-after relationship with God, too.”
Cheryl now lives in a small Louisiana town and has been happily married for fifteen years. She has two wonderful children who think it’s cool to have a “writing mama.” Cheryl would love to hear from her readers. You can write to her at P.O. Box 207, Slaughter, LA 70777.
The Best Christmas Ever
Cheryl Wolverton
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake
His faithful ones.
They will be protected forever…
—Psalms 37:28
To Janet Abbott for always listening. Thanks to Anne Canadeo, the greatest editor in the world, and Jean Price, the greatest agent!
And I can’t forget Dee Pace—who went above and beyond for this book! Thanks! And three other very special ladies: Denise Gray, Donna Blacklock and Cheryl Crews.
With love to my husband who is so patient and thoughtful when I’m going crazy over computer problems, and my kids, Christina and Jeremiah. You guys are the love of my life.
Prologue (#ulink_cfcbb2d2-ca5e-53a3-a2a0-391ed4313865)
Dear Santa:
All I want this year for Christmas is a mommy. I know it’s sorta early still to ask, but it is almost cold out, and I miss Mommy, and so does Daddy. He doesn’t exactly say he misses her, but he stares at Mommy’s picture a lot. I heard my baby-sitter on the phone telling someone Daddy needed to get married again. Well, that’d mean I’d get a new mommy. And if I had a new mommy, then I wouldn’t have to play Go Fish with Daddy’s secretary anymore when he couldn’t find a baby-sitter. And I wouldn’t have to take store-bought cookies on party day at school. I could have a real mommy to bake chocolate chip cookies—and make me peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches as much as I wanted. But most of all, Santa, I would have a mommy to hug me the way the other kids do when we get out of school. It would be just too cool to have that. So, Santa, that’s what I’ve decided I want for Christmas. I told Jesus so He can look around for the right mommy, then tell you which one to bring me on Christmas Eve. I know this is going to be the best Christmas present ever.
Thank you, Santa.
Signed,
Mickie Warner
Chapter One (#ulink_352333c6-2385-54d0-b808-88813bd1eed7)
“Sarah?”
Sarah Connelly smiled sweetly at her brother-in-law’s incredulous tone, then watched as his surprise slowly turned to cool remoteness. “Surely, Justin, it hasn’t been so long that you’ve forgotten me,” she quipped, doing her best to hide her fear that he’d slam the door in her face.
His mask fell into place just the way Sarah remembered it had in the past. His critical gaze slowly took her in. Sarah did her best not to gather the thin sweater around her shoulders against the cold wind or his icy scrutiny.
“Maybe it’s just because I’ve never seen you in jeans,” he replied indifferently. “Remember the last time I saw you—in court? That nice little blue suit you wore when…”
“Yes, well.” Sarah shrugged dismissively.
“So what brings you here?” He leaned against the door frame, blocking her way into his house. “It has, after all, been two years.”
“I wanted to see Mickie,” she replied, deciding that any hope she’d had of getting the baby-sitting/housekeeper job was just a dream. He was still furious with her, and she didn’t blame him. Although she’d hoped it would be different
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I’m her aunt.”
“Who hasn’t been here in two years,” he retorted.
“I’m sorry.” Sarah shifted her chilled feet, pushing at the loose strand of blond hair that blew across her face. She was cold. Justin knew she was cold, but he wasn’t going to let her in.
“Sorry?” Justin’s eyes flashed. “For what? For not coming to see Mickie? Or for trying to take her away from me two years ago?”
Instead of getting angry as she would have back then, Sarah dropped her gaze from Justin’s accusing one. “Both,” she finally whispered. Lifting her chin, she forced a smile. “Look, I wanted to apologize and put it all behind us, but I guess that’s impossible. I’ll be going.”
All she wanted to do was leave. She’d known it was a stupid idea to come here and apply for the job. But her friend Bill had been so certain Justin would take her on. Of course, Bill was newly married and in love. He thought all families loved one another the way he loved his in-laws. He couldn’t understand the icy wall of anger and bitterness that separated her and Justin, the guilt and fears…
Justin’s hand shot out and wrapped around her small arm. “Wait.”
She froze at Justin’s first touch, then slowly turned. Indecision and frustration etched his rugged features. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her there or not. The years hadn’t changed him. Justin was still as good-looking as when she’d first met him almost seven years ago. A few gray hairs she didn’t remember were now mixed in his dark brown wavy hair. It was cut short in the back and longer on the top; one lock of his hair fell casually out of place over his forehead. He hadn’t gained an ounce of weight. “Since when do you wear jeans?” She liked the way he looked in them.
He cocked an eyebrow in amusement.
Warmth climbed her face as she realized she’d actually asked the question out loud.
“Since I’ve been doing the housework,” he replied evenly.
She fidgeted a moment, then stepped back. “Well, I’d better go—”
“No. I…” He ran a hand through his hair, his other hand on his hip. Finally, he sighed. “It’s been two years, Sarah. Why now?”
“You already asked that,” Sarah replied with the only comeback she could think of that would give her time to form an answer.
“Daddy?”
Justin’s head jerked toward the stairs.
Sarah saw panic in his eyes. “Look, Justin, if you don’t want Mickie to see me I’ll go. I understand if—”
“No, come on in.” A long, low breath escaped Justin before he stepped back to allow her in.
Turning toward the stairs, he called up, “I’ll be right there, Mickie. Go ahead and put on the jeans I laid out for you.”
He stepped back and allowed Sarah to enter the house. It hadn’t changed since her sister, Amy, had lived there two years ago. The same overstuffed sofa filled the living room; an oak coffee table still sat in front of the sofa, with a book of scenic landscapes throughout America on it. On the mantel framed family photos were arranged with pride and loving care. Looking out through the open curtains, Sarah saw the sky was still clouded over and it looked as though it might rain or snow any moment.
“Mickie has been asking about relatives lately. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let you meet with her. Just don’t do anything to hurt her.”
Sarah jerked as if she’d been slapped. “I’d never hurt Mickie.”
“Then why’d you try to take her away from me two years ago?”
This was the question Sarah had not wanted to hear. The accusation and suppressed anger in his voice were as obvious as the fact that he expected her to answer. “I truly thought she’d be better off with me, Justin,” she finally said.
He snorted. “I’m sure your fiancé would love having her with you now, wouldn’t he, Sarah?”
Sarah stiffened. “How do you know about André?”
“Hamilton is a small town,” he replied, shrugging.
Of course everyone in the small suburb well outside the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolis knew everything about everyone. She paled, wondering if he knew the rest, too. She didn’t dare ask. Instead, she said, “André likes children.”
That much was true.
“So, do you still work as your fiancé’s secretary?”
“So, do you still take people’s business away from them?” she retorted, and was immediately contrite at the look of pain that flashed in Justin’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” She placed her hands on her hips, her exasperation evident in every inch of her stiff body. “Why must you be so provoking, Justin? I came here to apologize, to put the past in the past. We’re family. Mickie is the only blood relative I have left. I want to get to know her. I thought you might be able to forgive me for that reason alone.”
It had taken two years. She’d had to hit rock bottom and turn to God before realizing how much she’d wronged this man. But once she had acknowledged what a grievous blow she’d dealt Justin by taking him to court for custody of Mickie, she’d hoped to correct it. Her only mistake was in listening to Bill and deciding to apply for the job as housekeeper.
Of course, now that she saw how Justin still felt about her, she couldn’t tell him about what she’d found out from the doctor. Or how that had led to André breaking off their engagement. Nor how that had led to the sweet note in her mailbox the following week saying that Watson and Watson had to cut back staff and she, unfortunately, was the one who had to go.
André hadn’t even had the guts to fire her in person. That still hurt. But she knew God had a reason for all that happened. She knew now that if she trusted Him, He would turn everything out for the good. It was His way even when she couldn’t see it herself.
Justin sighed again. “You’re right. I’m sorry, too.”
“I really do want to try to get along.”
Justin ran a hand through his hair.
“For Amy’s sake,” she said, then added more desperately, “for Mickie’s sake.”
That swayed him. “You’re right. Despite how angry I am at you, Mickie needs to know you. Other kids at kindergarten have been asking about her family. The kids at school all have aunts and uncles.”
She heard the silent and a mother.
“I think she’d really like to meet a relative. But if you hurt her or say anything—”
“I won’t,” Sarah cut in. Since her devastating news and resulting breakup with André she’d had a lot of time to think and pray.
She wanted to know Mickie. She’d allowed two years to pass since the court battle, and hadn’t seen Mickie since. It was time to forget the past and go forward. And she wanted to do that with the only family she had left.
“Look, I have an important meeting I’ll be late for if I don’t get ready. I’ll go up and change. I’ll tell Mickie you’re here.”
“Will she know who I am?”
Justin scowled. “She knows she has an aunt Sarah. You can visit with her until the baby-sitter gets here. If all goes well, then we’ll see about visits after that. I’d better warn you, though—Mickie doesn’t take well to strangers, whether she’s heard of them or not.”
Sarah nodded.
Without another word, Justin turned and headed up the stairs.
The kids at school all have aunts and uncles.
Sarah’s heart ached at his words. How much had Mickie missed because of her mother’s death, because of Sarah’s bitterness and anger, because of the bitterness and anger between her and Justin?
Well, she was going to set things right if she could, starting now.
A sound at the top of the stairs caught her attention and she looked up. A five-year-old girl, with long brown curly hair that hung past her shoulders stood at the top of the stairs, a fashion doll clutched in her hands.
The child studied Sarah a long minute before slowly descending. “Daddy says you’re my aunt.”
Tears welled in Sarah’s eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. Mickie looked so much like Amy it hurt to see her. She wanted to grab the child and hug her, never let her go, but she knew Mickie didn’t remember her. “That’s right, Michelle,” she said, trying to hide her trembling by clasping her hands.
“Daddy calls me ‘Mickie.’”
Of course, Sarah thought, not even knowing why she had used the child’s given name. “That’s right. Your mom said that was the first word out of your daddy’s mouth when you were born.”
Mickie’s eyes widened. “Did you know my mama?”
“Yes, sweetheart, I did. Your mama was my sister.”
Mickie’s wide brown eyes, the only thing she had inherited from her father, stared at Sarah as if assessing that bit of information.
“Her picture looks like you. Will you tell me her favorite story?”
Sarah reached out for the child’s hand. After Mickie slipped her tiny one into hers, she led her over to the couch. “Of course I will,” she said, humbled that Mickie took her in without questioning why she’d never come by or why she’d missed birthdays and Christmases. “Her favorite story was The Littlest Angel. Have you ever heard that?”
Mickie shook her head and Sarah settled her in to tell her the tale.
Upstairs, Justin listened to the murmuring below. He’d told Sarah Mickie didn’t usually take to people, but Mickie had been so excited when she’d found out her aunt Sarah had come to visit. Knowing the sitter would be there any minute, he’d allowed Mickie to go down by herself.
It was the least he could do after telling Sarah never to come near his child again. Sarah had attempted to breach the wall between them. He wouldn’t reinforce the barricade by refusing to trust her for a few minutes with his daughter. After all, what could happen?
The ringing phone interrupted his thoughts. Pulling on his long-sleeved white shirt, he crossed the room to answer it. “Hello?”
It was Mrs. Winters, the baby-sitter. “Justin. I know I was supposed to baby-sit tonight, but I just got a call fifteen minutes ago from my daughter out in Arizona. She’s gone into early labor and it’s not going well. I’ve had to book an emergency flight and am leaving within the hour. Justin?”
Barely able to restrain a groan of dismay, he replied, “I understand, Mrs. Winters. I’ll be praying for your daughter.”
“I really hate to do this. I know I told you I’d be able to work at least three more weeks, but pregnancies just aren’t always predictable.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, even as he silently went through a list, trying to figure out whom he could round up to watch his daughter on such a short notice. “I’ll find someone. You just worry about getting to your daughter’s side. I’ll be fine.”
Justin could hear the relief in Mrs. Winters’s voice as she hung up the phone. It might be relief for her, but it was near chaos for him. He had to make that important business meeting scheduled in less than an hour with the top executives of a software firm on the West Coast. His second-in-command, Phillip, had worked out most of the negotiations over the phone. This was the only time the executives could meet with Justin to sign the papers and go over last-minute details before the merger was completed.
Why did things have to get so messed up now? If he called off the meeting, the men might lose confidence in him and go to another company. They were desperate and needed this…and so did he. His company had suffered financial setbacks the past few years, but he had finally turned things around. With this merger, his firm would again be one of the biggest producers of software components in the southwestern United States.
He finished buttoning his shirt, then grabbed his tie and draped it around his neck. After picking up his jacket, he headed downstairs. Justin supposed he could take Mickie with him to the meeting. He’d set her up someplace comfortable with books and toys and hope she’d manage to amuse herself. He’d done it before. But this meeting would last longer than most, and be more delicate. Maybe he could call Phillip, who had picked up the businessmen from the airport, and have him stall…
Coming down the stairs, he was surprised when he saw Sarah on his couch. He had forgotten she was there.
Finally continuing on, he reached the bottom of the stairs before she spotted him and her murmurs to Mickie drifted off. Justin tossed his jacket on the back of the sofa and worked his tie into an acceptable knot. “Mickie, I need you to go upstairs and change. That was Mrs. Winters on the phone and she can’t baby-sit tonight. You’ll have to come with me to work.” Seeing her downcast look, he decided to remind her of his secretary’s presence. “Christine will be there and maybe she can play with you while I work. You love to play with her.” It wasn’t exactly true and he was feeling guilty for suggesting it. Mickie tolerated the older woman’s game of Go Fish and her comments about her pretty little dresses.
“What about Aunt Sarah?”
Justin’s gaze shifted to Sarah. He still couldn’t believe he’d almost forgotten she was there. That was very odd. In the past, every time they’d been in the same room a yelling match had ensued within minutes of their arrivals and she’d stormed off in a huff. Why was she being so quiet today? Her deep blue eyes blinked and he could have sworn she was embarrassed to be caught in the family emergency. Hah! Unlikely. Sarah loved controversy.
“What about her?”
“Why can’t she watch me?”
“Mickie,” her father warned, surprised by his daughter’s unusual show of spirit.
“I don’t think your daddy would like that.” Realizing what she’d said, Sarah gazed at her brother-in-law in shocked apology.
Justin didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her, Impossible, there’s no way I’d trust my daughter with you. You despise me. But then he couldn’t get over her look of embarrassment at what she’d just said. No matter how true it was that he and Sarah didn’t get along, he didn’t want his daughter to know that, which made him realize just how wrong his feelings were. But it would take time to get over those feelings.
Do unto others…
The verse he’d learned as a child floated into his mind, striking him with guilt. What was he teaching his daughter by harboring this anger? And what would she think if he didn’t at least try to work through his pain and forgive his sister-in-law? It was true Mickie might not understand everything that had happened, but she would understand her aunt Sarah not coming around again.
Justin finally said, albeit reluctantly, “Actually, Sarah, if you’re available for the rest of the evening, I wouldn’t mind. Mickie seems quite taken by her aunt. And it’d give you a little more time to visit.”
Sarah swallowed her automatic no. She knew Justin didn’t really want her there. But could she have ever, in her wildest dreams, envisioned spending an evening with her niece? She hadn’t seen Mickie since her sister’s funeral. Mickie had not been at the hearing before the judge. Sarah hadn’t been dismayed over that. She had believed she’d have Mickie soon enough.
How absolutely arrogant she had been, and how angry when the court had ruled in her brother-in-law’s favor. Now she was getting a second chance to know Mickie, to get reacquainted with her. The door had just been opened; the opportunity she had been praying for had dropped into her lap. “I don’t have to be anywhere. I’d be glad to watch her.”
An awkward silence fell as the two adults stared at each other; it was broken finally when Mickie squealed in glee and clapped her hands.
“Will you fix me dinner? I like fried chicken, but Daddy doesn’t make it. I also like peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. And then you can help me into my ‘jamas and we can read stories till Dad gets home. Is that okay, Daddy? Can we read stories until you get home?”
Sarah saw Justin’s features soften and was amazed at how much younger he looked when he smiled so gently like that. “That sounds fine.”
When his gaze returned to Sarah, the cool mask fell back in place.
“There’s a list of emergency numbers by the phone. Fix whatever you two decide you want for dinner…except peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches.” He cast a warning look at his daughter, who bowed her head and appeared properly contrite at the idea of allowing any peanut butter or jelly to pass her lips again in the near future. “I should be home sometime this evening. The office is about forty-five minutes away and the people I’m meeting have to leave tonight.”
He looked at his watch. Four o’clock. He would be late at this rate. Thank goodness he had arranged to meet them at a hotel closer to his home. It had been Phillip’s idea to pick them up in the limo and for them all to go to the office together for the tour and business meeting. “Any questions?”
Sarah shook her head. Still he seemed unsure. “Look, Justin,” she said, “if you want, I’ll call you every hour on the hour. You don’t need to worry that we’ll be gone when you return.” She didn’t tell him that she no longer had a car and had caught the bus over. Call it pride, but she just couldn’t admit that.
His face didn’t show if that was what he was thinking or not. He finally sighed and gave a curt nod. “I’m trusting you on this. My secretary’s number is on the list. Phone if you need anything.”
He kissed his daughter goodbye and headed out the door.
Sarah couldn’t believe it. She was actually alone with her niece. Why had Justin allowed it?
Was it that it had been so long and he’d relegated the past to the past? She wondered if he meant to pay her. There was no way she would ask. She wasn’t even sure she could take his money. She was desperate, but was she that desperate?
True, that was why she’d originally come. But she hadn’t expected to feel guilty and uncomfortable around Justin. Had she thought to be that same old arrogant woman who would look at him as though he owed her for his past sins?
Closing her mind to those questions, she turned her attention to Mickie, who was tugging on her shirt.
“Can we cook now? I like to help in the kitchen, but Mrs. Winters never lets me. She says I make a mess, especially when we have chicken. You know, we wouldn’t have to have peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. Sometimes Daddy lets me eat them on crackers, too.”
Sarah smiled. She hadn’t eaten since last night. She’d missed breakfast this morning because she had wanted to find somewhere to shower before coming over to Justin’s. The only other meal she’d have a chance at was dinner at six o’clock in the evening.
Oh, no! She suddenly focused on one small fact she’d conveniently forgotten; she had to be back by eight o’clock. Would Justin be home before then? She worried her bottom lip, then sighed. Well, there was no choice now. She’d just have to hope it worked out.
“I think peanut butter and jelly on anything is out—if that look your father gave you was any indication,” she said, forcing her worries from her mind. She’d have plenty of time later to worry. Right now she wanted to soak up Mickie’s presence. “Come on, let’s go thaw out something and you can help me make a mess in the kitchen.”
“You make a mess?”
Mickie’s eyes widened in childish horror. Sarah smiled. “It’s more fun that way.” She winked.
Going toward the kitchen with Mickie, Sarah realized that things might actually be changing in her life. Maybe the past could be just that—the past Maybe she could forget it; let go of the ghosts that haunted her, the mistakes she had made. Perhaps she could turn over a new leaf and start back on the right path. It’d been so long…she wasn’t sure if she could even find her way back on her own. How did she get rid of years of bitterness and pain and find peace again with the very person she had wronged?
She remembered then—something her mother had told her when she’d had a fight with her dear friend and they had stopped talking for two weeks. She’d been frantic that she would never see her friend again and didn’t know if Sylvia would accept her apology or not. She’d prayed but wasn’t sure God had answered her prayer on how she should ask forgiveness for yelling at Sylvia.
“When you turn and walk down our street it takes five minutes to reach the end, dear. How long does it take to return?”
She had answered, “Five minutes.”
“And how do you get back? Do you cover that distance in five seconds or fifty seconds? Do you turn and take different streets to get you back to our house?”
“No, Mama,” she’d replied.
“That’s right, dear. You simply turn around and start from the way you came, taking one step at a time. Sometimes you can make it a little faster, sometimes not. But the important thing is you make that decision and turn around and go back.”
Her mother had been right. By confronting the issue with Sylvia, Sarah had righted things, although the lost trust between them had taken a little longer to return.
Now she knew that no matter how long it took, she wanted things right again between her and her only living relative. So maybe, if she prayed—since the first step to anything was prayer, or at least that was what she’d been taught in her family—this time things would be different between her and her brother-in-law. They could get along well enough that she would again have a family.
If she hadn’t turned her back and run from God when everything had happened almost seven years ago, then this mess wouldn’t have happened.
She told herself to remember that this time and everything would work out. Put God first, not her own selfish feelings, and trust God to work the miracle.
Looking down at Mickie, she knew that no matter what happened, she had to do that. She didn’t want to lose what she only now was discovering filled a void that had long been in need of filling.
Chapter Two (#ulink_9c49c583-e064-542e-8ff9-3bb34a12c78e)
The click of the door told Sarah that Justin had returned. She put down the book she’d been thumbing through and stood. Even in the darkened light of the living room Justin looked good. Tired, but good. His suit jacket was thrown over his shoulder and a hint of beard shadowed his square jaw. Dark brown eyes scanned the room before landing on her.
“Mickie asleep?”
Sarah unclasped her hands. “Yes. She fell asleep about an hour ago.”
Silence fell and Sarah resisted the urge to shift. It was late and for the past hour she’d been wondering how to handle Justin’s reappearance. Before, Mickie had been a buffer between them. Now that buffer was gone and she wasn’t sure how to act or how her brother-in-law would act. She cleared her throat.
“Well, I’d better go.”
She started toward the door.
When her hand was on the knob, Justin spoke. “What really brought you here, Sarah?”
She stiffened. How could she tell him that in desperation she’d come to him for a job? He wouldn’t believe it. Or worse. He might. And then he’d either laugh at her or pity her. He certainly wouldn’t hire her, knowing she had been let go from her job in a lawyer’s office, no matter what the reason. Doubts and fears crushed in on her, making her shoulders heavy with the burden of carrying them. Sarah forced herself to stand up straight, as if Justin might actually see the weight loading her down. “I came to bury the hatchet,” she quipped, without turning around to face him.
A wry chuckle escaped Justin’s lips and Sarah felt a warm tingle run down her back. Had that laugh attracted Amy? She knew it certainly affected her.
“Well then,” he said when silence had fallen again, “maybe I should be glad you didn’t decide to bury it in my neck like…”
She knew what he would have said—Like when you tried to take Mickie. She stiffened. “Good night.”
“Wait.” Justin rested his hand on her shoulder even as she pulled open the door. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t respond but stood facing the door, hiding her eyes from his scrutiny lest he see what she was feeling.
“Will it always be this way between us?” he finally asked.
“I don’t know,” Sarah replied.
With a sigh, he released her.
Sarah walked out the door, deciding that she was walking out of his life for the final time. Turning down the street, she headed to where she hoped she’d be able to catch the last bus for the night, wondering why she’d ever thought she could work for the man her sister had married.
Justin leaned his head against the closed door and sighed again. He was tired. The meeting had been a lot more complicated than he’d expected. What was supposed to be a simple merger had turned into more negotiations. Years ago he wouldn’t have allowed it, but because he’d seen these men making a sincere effort to protect their employees, he’d spent the extra two hours negotiating. Then they’d had to have a new contract typed and finally signed. The men had fortunately found seats on a later flight It was almost eleven o’clock and he’d been worried about his daughter…and he’d treated Sarah badly.
Pushing away from the door, he turned, then went through the house, flipping off lights and checking windows. There had been no reason for him to say such cruel things to her. Indeed, she’d been trying to bury the hatchet. That was the longest they’d gone without snipping at each other. And then he’d had to ruin it. She was Amy’s sister—the only link he and Mickie had to Amy. The least he could have done was hold his tongue. It was just that when he’d opened the door and seen her rising from the couch, the book of scenic landscapes sliding from her lap, he’d felt as though someone had punched him in the gut. He’d never noticed that Sarah was a very beautiful woman, despite her beat-up jeans and sweater. He’d always pictured her as tough and aggressive. Her soft golden hair, which she’d always worn up, had floated about her face tonight, giving her the look of innocence wronged. But he’d not wronged her. And she wasn’t innocent or soft. He knew her real personality. She had tried to take his daughter away. He’d been right to fight her to keep his child. And he wouldn’t forget the pain that fight had caused anytime soon, no matter how innocent or beautiful she looked.
He hadn’t felt a spark of interest in a woman since Amy’s death. How could that spark be ignited by the sister who had caused them both so much grief? In anger at his own reaction to her, he’d struck out.
He trudged up the stairs. After checking on Mickie to make sure she was covered, he undressed.
Because of his actions, Mickie would probably never see Sarah again. She’d be stuck with a baby-sitter all day—
Baby-sitter!
Justin didn’t have a baby-sitter for his daughter, tomorrow or anytime. He collapsed on the side of the bed and dropped his head into his hands. How could he have forgotten?
Easy. Big blue eyes and a heart-stopping smile had clouded his thinking.
Well, he couldn’t let them distract him now. He had to find someone for tomorrow. Justin lifted his head. Maybe this was a way to prove to Sarah that he wanted to accept her apology and make amends. He could ask her to baby-sit this weekend, since she probably didn’t work on weekends, and Mickie could get to know her. Of course his day would be short on Saturday. He only had to finish up the paperwork related to tonight’s merger and make sure everything was running smoothly. Then he could invite Sarah over for dinner on Sunday as a gesture of thanks. That should smooth over the mistake he’d made tonight.
He reached into the drawer by his bed and pulled out the phone book. After finding her number, he dialed it.
He listened as the call connected.
On the third ring, instead of an answering machine picking up, he heard a message saying the phone was disconnected.
Frowning, he put the receiver down. Had she moved lately? He called Information and the operator told him she had no listing under Sarah’s name.
Thinking back, he remembered Bill, from church, mentioning he’d talked to Sarah only last week. He hadn’t said where he’d seen her or what they’d talked about. His friends were that way. If they met up with Sarah they only informed him that they’d seen her. Few of his friends felt the need to gossip and dredge up past pains. And, he thought, a few were still friends with Sarah, though none ever really talked about her when he was around.
Bill was the answer. If it had been only last week since he’d talked to her he would know where she was now living. Despite the late hour, Justin picked up the phone and dialed Bill’s number. On the second ring, Bill answered it. Justin smiled. Bill had a thing for computers and was usually up until one or two in the morning playing around with some new software or game.
“Hey, Bill,” he said. “Uh, sorry to call so late.”
“Justin? No problem. I’m up. What’s going on?”
“I just tried to get hold of Sarah. She stopped by earlier today and I need to talk to her. I tried the phone number I have for her, but the service has been disconnected. I figured you could tell me where she moved.”
Silence followed.
Justin frowned.
Finally, Bill spoke, but it wasn’t with the answer Justin had wanted.
“You say you talked to her today?”
“Yeah. She, uh, watched Mickie for me. I was in a bind—”
“You let her baby-sit your daughter?”
Why was Bill sounding so shocked? “Yeah. She came by to visit. My baby-sitter had an emergency and Mickie seemed taken with Sarah. Look,” Justin said, becoming impatient, “do you know where she moved? I’d like to get hold of her.” Suddenly, it dawned on Justin what had been bothering him. Her number had not been changed but disconnected. Why? Wait a minute. She had been engaged—“Or what her new last name is,” he added, drawing the conclusion that she must now be married and that was why she no longer had a phone number of her own. “I’d like to…thank her,” he finished, thinking that if she was married, then she wouldn’t want to baby-sit on a weekend. He couldn’t believe she had stayed tonight with a husband waiting for her at home. At least her marriage explained her decreased anger and bitterness since the last time they’d seen each other.
“Sarah didn’t tell you?”
Confused, Justin wrinkled his brow. “Tell me what? That she had married? No, but I know she was engaged—”
“Was is the operative word there, buddy. You’d better sit down.”
Justin stood, instead. “Look, Bill, obviously you know something I don’t. Why don’t you try telling me.”
“I don’t know all the particulars. Just that she’s no longer engaged.”
“Is that all?”
“No. As a matter of fact, it’s not. She no longer works for her fiancé’s family, either, as of a very short time ago. Nor does she live in her old apartment.”
Justin sighed impatiently. “I know the latter—that’s why I called you. Do you know where she lives?”
“Yes.”
Restlessly, Justin ran a hand through his hair. Why was Bill acting as if Sarah’s address and phone number were a national secret? Okay, so Bill felt sorry for Sarah. She had broken off with her fiancé and quit her job. Justin was sorry for her, too, but that might just work out to his best. Maybe he could hire Sarah for a week or two until she found a better job…unless she already had one. But first he had to locate her. This was all too much to take in at once. Just what did he really know about Sarah? Very little, he suddenly realized.
“So where is she?” he demanded, quickly reaching the end of his rope.
There was a hesitation, then a sigh. “Look, Justin, maybe since she didn’t tell you—”
“Where, Bill?” he demanded.
“Okay, okay! But if she’s mad at me—”
“Bill!”
“She’s living at a homeless shelter downtown near Second Street.”
Justin’s legs collapsed underneath him and he sank to the bed, stunned. “Homeless shelter?” he whispered, unable to believe what he was hearing.
“Yeah. Evidently, when she lost her job, she didn’t have enough money to pay her rent. She had to move out but had nowhere to go and wouldn’t let me help since I’m so newly married. She refuses to collect unemployment—”
“She was fired!” Justin shouted.
“As I said,” Bill continued without answering Justin’s question, “she comes in twice a week, looking for a job. The law office, it seems, was overstaffed and had to get rid of a secretary.”
“What’s the shelter’s name and number?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to call and leave a message for Sarah to expect me.”
“Sorry, bud, the shelter closes its doors at eight. Which also means no phone calls, either.”
“What do you mean, it closes its doors at eight?”
“Just what I said. Haven’t you ever been around shelters? In the morning the people are fed, then put out for the day. At the end of the day the shelters reopen and the occupants are allowed back in for supper. At eight this particular one closes its doors and no one else is allowed in. The place is usually full by six or so anyway.”
A sick feeling curled in Justin’s stomach. “What about Sarah?”
“What about her?”
“What if she’s late getting back? Would they let her in? I mean, if she had a good explanation?”
“Sarah’s staying at a very good shelter, Justin. Try not to worry. She’s been there a couple of weeks now. They’ve treated her well. They won’t turn her out.”
Cold fear filled Justin’s heart. “You’re not answering my question. If Sarah was late, would they let her in?”
“Sarah knows the rules. She wouldn’t have been late.”
Justin had his answer. “Thanks, Bill.”
“You okay?”
How could Justin answer that truthfully? “Yeah,” he lied.
Sarah, his sister-in-law, who had been here only thirty minutes ago, was living in a shelter. His sister-in-law, for pity sakes! Why hadn’t she come to him?
In a flash of insight he realized she had. Today. And he’d snipped at her from the time he’d opened the door, never giving her a chance to state her true purpose in coming.
Anger replaced the guilt. Oh, he’d asked, but she’d refused to tell Justin what was going on. It’d always been that way. Amy had been heartsick when Sarah had closed herself off from her only sister because Amy had married him. Of course Sarah had had a good reason for not speaking to him.
His anger deflated. They were both at fault. But why hadn’t she opened up to him tonight and told him she was penniless and living in a shelter?
Because she didn’t trust him. And he didn’t trust her. And she knew that.
Yet despite that, Justin admitted to his feelings of earlier today. True, he’d felt shock and anger when he’d seen her, then experienced a need to prove that he held nothing against her. But worst of all was the spark of interest he’d felt for her that had slowly made itself known as he’d noticed the sway of her hair, the tilt of her chin, the flash of her eyes…Self-loathing ate at him. This was Amy’s sister, not a woman who should interest him. Especially since he still didn’t completely trust her. But all that didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered was that Sarah was living in a shelter.
His sister-in-law.
Mickie’s aunt.
There was no way he was going to let her stay there.
“So—” Bill broke the silence “—are you ready to talk?”
Justin sighed. Bill was his friend. He trusted Bill more than anyone else. Maybe he needed to confide in a friend. “I guess at the time of Amy’s death Sarah was a convenient person to blame. I was despondent, and according to Sarah, I unintentionally neglected Mickie because of my grief. Maybe Sarah had been acting in Mickie’s best interest by taking me to court…or at least she thought she was. I can tell you it certainly woke me up to what was going on around me and that I had a daughter who needed me.”
He wondered if Sarah had sensed that things weren’t as good between Amy and him as they’d appeared. Had Amy told Sarah she wanted a divorce?
The night of Amy’s death, she had admitted that her parents had encouraged the match, saying it was a way of showing the peace between their two families. Had Sarah known or suspected that? He’d been devastated when his wife had run from the house to go see the sister she hadn’t talked to in months, because she was tired of trying to “work things out” as he’d insisted they do.
“Amy was angry that every time Sarah and I were near each other we fought. I knew this and tried to curb my tongue, but something got my dander up each time the woman came by. Sarah obviously felt the same way. Amy was caught in the middle and maybe that was why Sarah had fought back the way she did. She had been trying to protect Amy. I just don’t know.”
Justin ran a weary hand over his face. “She went too far when she tried to take Mickie.”
Yes, it had jerked him out of his grief, but the strength he’d found was fueled by anger and hatred, not by God. Things had been disastrous at the trial, breaking the familial bonds between them forever. Or so he’d thought until today, when he’d found out that Sarah was living in a shelter and had tried in her own way to “bury the hatchet.”
“You know you can’t just go to her and force her to move home with you. If she thinks you’re offering her charity she’ll disappear. She’s a very proud woman.”
A very proud woman who was now out wandering the streets because the shelter’s doors had closed while she’d been watching Mickie for him. What could he say to Bill? Why hadn’t she told him? He had to do something.
An idea formed. Justin would bet that Sarah would be at the shelter tomorrow when the doors opened. She’d been staying there for a while, according to Bill. Yes, his plan just might work.
“Look, Bill, I’m desperate. I need a baby-sitter. I don’t know how to get a hold of Sarah. Could you contact her for me tomorrow when the shelter opens for breakfast? Tell her I called looking for her and need her help.”
Bill whistled on the other end. “She’s gonna go crazy when she finds out you know about her living in a shelter.”
“I understand. Maybe you can smooth that over, convince her I’m not handing out charity. My baby-sitter quit tonight and I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need someone—immediately! If it’ll help, tell her I’m desperate. You know her better than I do. Do what you have to and convince her to take the job. Call me first thing in the morning after you talk to her.”
“Sure thing. And, Justin?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s about time you faced this thing between you and Sarah.” With those words Bill hung up.
Justin slowly replaced the receiver, trying not to read more into Bill’s words than he’d intended. But the truth was, it was hard not to. Because, like a lightning bolt from the sky, he suddenly wondered if maybe that had not been part of the problem all along. Had he married Amy partly out of guilt? Oh, he’d been attracted to her, but what he’d done to her family’s business had been part of the equation, too. Unfortunately, she’d married him only out of obligation to her family. He’d cared for Amy. At least on his part he had been willing to stay married forever. They had enjoyed a good comfortable relationship, and in his own way, he’d loved her.
But Bill’s words unsettled him more than they should have. Was it not possible that he’d known, on some deeper level, that Amy hadn’t loved him and he’d felt threatened by Sarah’s anger and dislike?
The possibility was too awful to consider. He didn’t want to think that he’d been so insecure back then that he had actually helped cause the wedge in his marriage.
With that thought, he slipped into bed and pulled the covers up to his waist. He would give Sarah a job, prove to her he held no grudges against her and prove to himself that there was really nothing between them at all. Then he’d have his peace again. He could close that part of his life and go forward to face whatever the future held, with no regrets or shadows from the past dogging his heels.
Chapter Three (#ulink_5bfafe22-5c7e-5ec5-9c39-0bd4990f3ee2)
The doorbell rang, but Justin didn’t rush forward the way he wanted to. He didn’t throw open the door and greet his sister-in-law with a blast of anger. Instead, he took two repetitive breaths, letting each one out slowly, readying himself for the battle he was sure to face. When he was certain he had control of his emotions, he calmly walked forward and pulled open the door.
She still wore the same jeans from yesterday. She’d changed her shirt, though, he noted. Instead of a white pullover, she wore a pink one.
“Well, are you done gawking at the charity case?”
He raised an eyebrow in silent query, but that only seemed to antagonize her.
“Don’t you dare pull that patronizing look on me. It won’t work. I’ve seen it before.”
“I’m not trying to be patronizing, Sarah. I just wondered why you were in such a sour mood already this morning. It’s not even ten a.m.”
She dropped her arms from where she’d crossed them and let them hang at her sides. However, she looked anything but relaxed; she looked ready to pounce on him and take him apart limb by limb.
“You know exactly what’s the matter. How could you get Bill involved in this?” she demanded. “He’s a friend I trusted, until he hunted me down this morning and told me you had called him last night.”
“Is that what’s bothering you?”
“No, it’s not,” she fumed. “What’s bothering me is he told you about…well…”
She trailed off and Justin understood it was her lack of a job and an apartment she referred to.
“You offered me work out of pity, and when I told Bill exactly what I thought of that, he told me you refused to take no for an answer and would come to the shelter yourself if I didn’t show up here.”
So, it had taken the threat of his tracking her down at the homeless shelter to convince her to come to his house this morning. Justin wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Insulted? No. A little angry? Maybe. Frustrated? Definitely. But he understood how debasing it must feel for someone she considered her enemy to be offering her a job. However, they were no longer enemies, and the sooner she accepted that, the better.
“Come in.” He stepped back. “Mickie is next door playing. She’ll be home in a little while.”
“Sent her off so she wouldn’t see the fireworks?” Sarah replied nastily.
“Yes.”
That one word seemed to deflate Sarah. She let out a long sigh, raked a hand through her hair, then finally walked in. Justin didn’t wait for her but continued to the kitchen, where he had juice and coffee waiting. He poured her both before hooking a kitchen stool with his foot and pulling it out. Slipping onto it, he indicated the one across from him.
He watched Sarah glance around and wondered what she saw. Little had changed since Amy. The kitchen was still a cozy little place for family meetings.
That’s one reason Amy had liked it so much. Modem, with tiles, yellow paint and pale corn-silk flowers on the pastel printed wallpaper, it gave off a feeling of homeyness. A small table for four sat near a picture window that afforded a view of a large backyard and the forest beyond that. The appliances were new, with a small snack bar separating the breakfast area from the actual cooking area.
Did Sarah wonder if he and Amy had eaten their dinner in here or out in the more formal dining room? If they’d had intimate chats in the evening, staring out the window as the sun slowly sank beneath the trees? She was in for a surprise if she thought that.
One of the things Justin truly regretted was there had been none of that. He’d always been too busy to sit down and spend any time with his wife. The melancholy of that inconsideration tried to grab hold of him, but he shook it off. Better to get down to business with Sarah before she decided to get defensive again.
“I need help.”
“I’ve never doubted that.”
He smiled at her quick comeback. “My sitter quit. I can’t find anyone on such short notice and I have to go to the office today. I’m very picky about whom I leave Mickie with. As you might guess, losing a parent is very hard on a child so small. Even though it’s been two years now, Mickie is still not over her mother’s death. She needs stability, someone who can be here for her when I’m not.”
Justin fiddled with his coffee cup, staring into the depths of it before raising his gaze back to her.
“I know being a housekeeper-sitter is way beneath your training, but I have a proposition. I want you to work here—live here, too, as a matter of fact. That way, if any emergencies come up and I have to go out of town, someone will be here. The pay is good, but not as good as you would make as a legal assistant. However, while working here, you would be tree to send out your résumés and seek a better paying position more in keeping with your experience. All I ask is that any interviews be set up at a time when I’m free to be here with Mickie, and that when you do quit, you give me at least a month’s notice so I can find another housekeeper and let Mickie get used to her before you leave.”
Sarah stared at Justin, certain her mouth hung open. In one hand he offered her a job, but only until she could find something else. What did the other hand hold? The hatchet if she blundered? Did he realize how awful his offer sounded? Or had he only been trying to help her and had accidentally made it sound as though he didn’t want her around?
Evidently, she’d voiced her opinions, because Justin responded.
“That’s not the way I meant it. I simply meant you’d be doing me a great favor by helping me out. Look, Sarah, I know we never got along before, but you’re family. Can we at least try—for Mickie’s sake?”
Sarah swallowed. For Mickie’s sake? Well, what did she expect? That Justin would say he had been wrong in the past, wrong because of all the pain he had caused her family? He’d come to them and told them he was sorry for what had happened, had even offered compensation and jobs…and married Amy, too. If that didn’t show he felt remorseful, what did? But she’d never believed it. She’d thought he should pay for everything that had happened and have no happiness. She’d made it her crusade to make his life miserable, and she had succeeded. If rumor could be believed, he and Amy had been having problems. Amy had never said anything to her, but Sarah wondered now if it was because of all the grief she herself had caused him whenever she was around.
Guiltily, Sarah looked away from the deep brown eyes that stared at her with such intensity. She needed to let go of the past. Wasn’t that just the reason she’d come yesterday? Justin was offering to let her look for a job while she worked for him. That was it. Very simple. A way to put the past where it belonged, while proving herself trustworthy.
It galled her, though, to feel that she was taking charity.
As if reading her mind, Justin said quietly, “I’m family, Sarah. Let me help you.”
She swallowed her humiliation. She would take the job, but she would make sure that she earned every penny of her pay. “Very well.”
He expelled a great breath. “Fantastic.”
When he named her salary her eyes widened in shock. “You can’t be serious. That’s too much.” Her temper rose again. She didn’t think housekeepers made that in a month and she didn’t like that he thought she was an idiot. After all, how hard could housekeeping and taking care of a child be? She had kept her own house.
“I assure you, Sarah, for cooking, cleaning and taking care of a child, that’s the going rate. If you don’t believe me, you can call Bill.”
Studying him, she decided he was telling the truth. In any event it didn’t matter. She was going to make sure she earned her paycheck, with no room for questions.
“Is it a deal?”
“It’s a deal.”
“Okay. Uh, well, do we need to get clothes, car, anything like that?”
Sarah burned with embarrassment. “Most of my clothes are in a suitcase at the shelter. I do have a few boxes in a storage area that’s paid up through next month.”
Sarah hated that she’d had to admit such a thing to this man. But he hadn’t said anything or given her the slightest reason to think he pitied her. If he had, she would have walked out, despite her desperation for needing the job.
“You can pick them up whenever you’re ready.” He strode over to a door leading to the garage, where he lifted a key off a hook on a piece of wood shaped like a small house. He brought it back to her. “This is to the car. I’ll drive the four-by-four to work—and don’t object. We’re low on groceries. If you have time today, you’ll need to go shopping. Consider free use of my car part of the job.” He opened his wallet and pulled out some money.
Sarah’s eyes widened.
“This is your first month’s salary plus household expenses. The other housekeeper just took the money and as we needed supplies or whatever she paid for them out of an account she’d set up in her own name. There was a box in the office, where she kept all her receipts and stuff. However, if you’d prefer not to have a separate household account, you can buy whatever you feel the house or Mickie needs, then I’ll reimburse you.”
“No, that’s fine. I—I’ve never done this before. It’ll take me a week or two to learn my way around.”
“I would expect no less.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
They stared at each other for what seemed like minutes before Sarah broke the stare. “Well, I—”
“Sarah,” he said softly.
His hand came to rest on her shoulder to keep her from walking away.
“I hope this will be a time to heal for you, me…us. We need to let go of the past and go on.”
Sarah couldn’t turn around and face him right now. She could not talk about this because she knew her face would give away her feelings. She was attracted to this man. Had she been before her sister had died? She couldn’t face that question and certainly couldn’t face him as she wondered about it. So instead she simply nodded. “I agree.”
When she still didn’t turn around Justin dropped his hand.
“When will Mickie be home?”
“Any time. I need to go up and change. I have some important work that must be finished today. But let me show you around first.”
Sarah followed but heard little of what Justin actually said. Her mind was on the agreement she’d just made. She would be here for at least one month and she already wondered if this might be a mistake. Would she be able to live in the same house her sister had lived in, with a man who had loved her sister but destroyed her family’s business? The same man she found herself undeniably attracted to?
Well, the room definitely reminded Sarah of Amy’s taste in decor. Amy had loved greens and yellows.
Sarah walked around the large suite that included a living room and bedroom. Decorated in her sister’s favorite colors, it wasn’t exactly her taste—she preferred earth tones—but she couldn’t deny it was more than she’d had this morning. She could thank God she once again had a roof over her head, even if a man who still despised her had offered it.
Well, Father, she whispered, studying the nice-sized double bed covered in a forest green spread, Show me what I must do to prove to this man I’m sorry for the past. Help me to restore his trust in me again. It’s important that I at least right that wrong so Mickie won’t suffer any pain.
Sarah wondered again if she was a fool coming here like this. But when faced with the shocking news of her infertility and the cruelties of André’s family after he’d left on a trip to sort everything out, she’d suddenly realized how much she regretted breaking off all contact with Mickie.
True, Amy had married Justin at their parents’ urging, but it was possible she had come to love Justin, while Sarah had still blamed him for everything that had happened to her family. She owed it to Amy and Mickie to try to get to know him.
She remembered that time long ago when she’d first seen him, how attractive she’d thought him when he’d come to the office. Then she’d found out he wasn’t one of the underlings from the company that had just destroyed her parents’ lives but the actual owner. He and his partner had taken over the business. Her mother had been too torn up to come in and her father too ill from the shock of losing a business that had been in the family for a hundred years. As the market had changed, so had their family changed the goal of the business. It had been her father’s idea to turn the main part of the organization toward producing computer software components.
When he’d lost the company, he’d suffered a mild heart attack. Amy hadn’t been keen on working in the office so Sarah had gone in to handle the business until whatever flunky the new owner would be sending showed up and officially took over.
The man who arrived hadn’t been the rude jerk who had so cruelly laughed in her father’s face when he’d demanded protection for the workers, but a much more handsome, kinder-looking man. But when she’d heard his name…
Sarah shook her head, wondering why she now remembered that she had been the first sister to find this man attractive.
And a few months later, he’d shown up at the door, apologizing for the way the takeover had been handled and offering reimbursement for those who had been let go with no warning.
Her family had been forgiving, willing to welcome him into their house. She hadn’t been. They’d had no savings left because of her father’s medical bills and because of the bonuses her family had given to help those very families Justin had mentioned. Then, when Justin had asked Amy out, her father had encouraged her to accept his invitations. Her father had formed a grudging but genuine respect for Justin. And perhaps he felt the business might stay in the family if Justin took a liking to Amy and married her, Sarah had often thought.
That had been the beginning of Sarah’s separation from her family. She hadn’t been able to handle her parents attitude or Amy’s submissive acquiescence. She’d moved out almost immediately rather than face Justin and Amy together.
Looking back, Sarah realized part of moving out and breaking off her relations with her family had grown from her horror of the attraction she felt for the man who had, in her opinion, destroyed her family.
While she’d stubbornly hidden herself away, dear sweet Amy, who had always done exactly as her parents wished, had married Justin.
Now, though, Sarah had to wonder if perhaps Amy hadn’t fallen in love with Justin.
Actually, she didn’t want to think of that possibility at all. She didn’t want to know. She corrected herself. Yes, she did want to know but didn’t think she’d like the answer. She blushed, aware she shouldn’t feel this way unless she was still attracted to the man!
Forcing her mind from those thoughts, she started toward the stairs to start lunch. Justin had said he’d be home by two and she wanted to make sure she couldn’t be accused of easing off, even the first day of work.
“I’m home!”
The shout came from downstairs. Sarah smiled. “I’m up here, Mickie.”
The little girl came clattering up the stairs. Sarah met her in the hall. Mickie halted abruptly and her expression turned shy. “Where’s Daddy?”
“He’s at work. Didn’t he tell you?”
Mickie twisted her right foot from side to side. “I thought he might be back by now.”
Sarah smiled at the little girl and started to reach out for her.
“You left last night without saying goodbye,” the little girl admonished, stepping back so she could look Sarah in the eyes.
Sarah blinked, her smile leaving her face. Kneeling in front of Mickie, she took her hands. “That’s right. I did. I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry if it made you sad.”
Mickie shrugged. “Mama did the same thing.”
Sarah’s heart twisted.
Mickie raised her questioning gaze to Sarah’s. “Daddy said you’re going to be living here. You’re going to be the new housekeeper, and you’ll make me peanut butter sandwiches with grape jelly. Is that what you were doing up here? Moving in?”
The innocence of children. Sarah nodded. “I’m going to be in the old housekeeper’s room in case you ever need anything. And yes, I’ll be taking care of you when you’re home from school.”
She stood and held out her hand. “But I have to wonder if your daddy said that part about grape jelly-and-peanut butter sandwiches.”
Mickie wrinkled her freckled little nose. “Well, actually, Daddy said peanut butter sandwiches, but I like the grape jelly so I added that.”
Her little hand warmly clasped Sarah’s as they started down the stairs. “Well, what if I get you a snack of crackers with peanut butter and grape jelly then I’ll make whatever you want for lunch. Your daddy will be back by then and we can have a big meal, then a smaller one tonight.”
“You’ll be here tonight?”
Sarah didn’t pause, though she shuddered at the insecurities the young child must have felt since her mother’s death. “I promise.” Changing the subject, she asked, “What do you want me to make for dinner?”
In the kitchen she found the peanut butter and set it out with crackers while Mickie found the jelly.
“Fried chicken.”
Sarah paused in scooping out the peanut butter into a small bowl. “Fried chicken?” She should have limited her offer to anything baked. She hated frying.
“And a chocolate coconut cake for dessert.”
Sarah shook her head ruefully. She should have known. Amy had had a sweet tooth, too. “Well, I can do the fried chicken, but I’m not sure about the cake.”
Mickie frowned. She studied the crackers before looking back up at Sarah. “Chocolate coconut cake is my daddy’s favorite. The only time he gets it is if he makes it. But he doesn’t ever have time. Mommy used to make fried chicken and chocolate coconut cake for dessert. I know Daddy would just love it.” She slanted a look up at Sarah. “And so would I.”
Sarah sighed. She handed the plate of snacks to Mickie, then poured her a glass of milk. “I’ll see what I can do. So, you like coconut, do you?”
Mickie immediately denied it. “I don’t. But Daddy does. I just pick it off the top.”
So she really was thinking about her daddy. Sarah had thought the child was using a ploy. She still wasn’t sure if she was or not. But she found that right now it didn’t matter. After taking the chicken from the freezer, she set it in the microwave and punched the buttons to thaw it out. “What’s so special about today that you want to fix your daddy’s favorite meal.”
Mickie shrugged. “He can’t cook. I miss Mama’s cooking. Can’t you cook like her?”
Ah, Sarah thought. Emotions about her sister washed over her. Her sister, the quiet one, the domestic one, the one who had always been so perfect. “Not as well. But if your daddy is starving for good home-cooked meals—” Sarah winked at Mickie to hide the pain she felt “—then I suppose I can cook a few good meals for you both.”
Mickie smiled, satisfied.
Relieved, Sarah smiled back. The questions from a five-year-old who would very soon be six—in less than three months, in fact—had been harder than she’d anticipated. Still, it looked as though baby-sitting her was going to be easy. Sarah had survived her first test and had been accepted. How much harder could it be?
Chapter Four (#ulink_f47d0a96-5ed2-5dda-b3fe-bdb9542f7d7f)
“What in the world! Mickie, what have you gotten into?”
Sarah stared in horror at the living room and dining room. White powder dusted everything. Following the trail to the dining-room table, she found Mickie standing in a chair with toy cooking utensils, covered in white from head to toe.
“I was making a cake, since you were busy cooking chicken.”
Mickie sneezed, then wiped a grimy hand across her face, smearing the white stuff again. She shook her head and a white cloud was released from her formerly brown hair.
“But I told you I’d try to get to it!” Sarah stared blankly at the mess. It was going to take her an hour to clean this up and there was no telling when Justin would be home.
Mickie’s shoulders drooped. “I was only trying to help.”
Realizing she had hurt Mickie’s feelings released Sarah from her inability to react. She went forward and, with only a small reluctance at how dirty she was going to get, gathered Mickie in her arms. “It’s okay. Let’s go upstairs and run you some bathwater, then I’ll clean up the mess.”
“I just wanted Daddy to have a cake. He says I’m his little helper.”
“It’s okay. Really. But maybe next time,” Sarah said, going upstairs, “we should do this together. Until you can prove to me you know how,” she added, and filled the tub for Mickie.
“Mrs. Winters never would let me. She doesn’t like messes.”
“Well,” Sarah said, stripping the little girl and helping her into the tub, “I don’t mind a mess if we do it together. You see, that’s the only way to learn. Now, if you promise not to try it by yourself again, maybe next week we can make some cookies together.”
Mickie’s eyes lit with excitement. “Really?”
“Really.”
Sarah quickly washed Mickie’s hair, then allowed Mickie to finish up. When she was done, she dried her off. “Can you pick out your clothes by yourself?”
Mickie gave her an exasperated look. “I’m not a baby,” she said. “I’ll be six January 10.”
Sarah bit back a smile. “Of course. I’ll be downstairs cleaning up the dining room. The chicken is done. I only have to finish vegetables and potatoes to finish. You can go get out three plates and the silverware while I clean up and finish fixing dinner.”
Evidently, Mickie thought she had the better of the two deals, because she didn’t argue.
Sarah reentered the dining room and dismally surveyed the white mess. What to do first?
She sighed. Deciding just to wade in, she gathered the play dishes and the tin of flour, which Mickie had somehow sneaked out of the kitchen, and set them all back in their places. After returning to the dining room, she simply swept all the flour onto the floor. Then she wiped down the table and china cabinet and every other piece of furniture that looked to have received a dusting of flour.
Once she’d moved the chairs out of the way, she pulled out the vacuum cleaner and began to vacuum. Mickie came in to set the table. “Place mats and napkins,” Sarah said, nodding to where she’d set them out on the beautiful mahogany table.
Sarah had to stop twice to check the potatoes and vegetables she had boiling and then to mash the potatoes.
Then she had to change vacuum bags.
She was getting tired by the time she reached the living room. That was how she explained her accident. Why else would she trip over the vacuum cord, unless all the dusting and vacuuming was tiring her? That and the fact the vacuum cleaner Justin owned weighed almost a ton. He really should have one of those lightweight models, not the monster that made her huff with exertion when using it. Add that to the fact that she hadn’t stopped running around since Mickie had entered the house three hours ago and an accident was obviously waiting to happen.
So, it was natural that, as she swept toward the entryway, her shoe tripped her up over the cord.
She squawked in surprise and went flying backward.
Windmilling, grabbing for purchase, Sarah teetered before succumbing to gravity. I’ll probably end up with a broken neck. Then Justin will gloat over just how unfit a parent I would make!
With one last effort to catch herself before she ended up splitting her head on the floor, she twisted. Instead of ground, a hard dark object arrested her mid-flight.
The dark object grunted.
In her peripheral vision she saw a briefcase go flying. Strong arms wrapped around her. Her rescuer teetered before both she and her victim continued their fall to the floor.
Splat.
The cessation of noise proved even more telling than her screech when she’d started down.
In the moment it took her to orient herself, she registered several things. The body beside hers was warm and comforting—one arm was still wrapped around her shoulders—and he was in good shape.
She lifted her gaze from the white shirt and tie to Justin’s sardonic expression.
She smiled weakly, wondering how to apologize.
He spoke first. “Don’t you think you’re taking this housekeeping job just a little too seriously?”
“Daddy!”
Hearing Mickie’s voice, Sarah immediately scrambled off Justin. “I’m so sorry. We had a little accident and I was sweeping. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and got tangled up in the cord.”
He stood, dusted off his suit, then scooped Mickie up in his arms. “Hiya, pumpkin,” he said, bussing her cheek.
Sarah winced at how Mickie was dressed. Blue striped shorts with an orange checked top. Justin blinked, cast a glance at Sarah, then returned his attention to Mickie.
She squeezed his neck. “Sarah made your favorite meal but we didn’t have time to bake a cake. I tried but made a mess, instead, and Aunt Sarah cleaned it up while I set the table.”
Justin raised an eyebrow and scanned the room. He hugged Mickie again before setting her down. “My favorite meal, huh?” He made a big show of sniffing the air. “Fried chicken?”
Mickie laughed and nodded.
“That’s great! Go upstairs and wash up. Let me get my briefcase and change. Then we’ll eat.”
Mickie immediately ran upstairs.
Justin gathered the contents of his briefcase and Sarah belatedly helped him. “So what’s the special occasion?” he asked as he snapped the lid shut.
Sarah fidgeted. She hadn’t expected to be questioned on what she had prepared. “I told Mickie I’d make her anything she wanted. And fried chicken with chocolate coconut cake was her choice.”
An indefinable emotion crossed Justin’s features before he sighed.
“Did I do something wrong?” Sarah asked, ill at ease with the unnamed emotion she’d seen.
“No.” He shook his head.
“I know Mickie was young when Amy died, but she still remembers Amy in her own way. Certain things stand out in her mind, while others have faded. But one thing she remembers is one of the last big meals Amy, Mickie and I shared together as a family. It was fried chicken and a cake for dessert. Amy had made it for my birthday. It’s not that it’s my favorite, though I do love chicken. But in her mind…”
He trailed off.
Sarah understood. “Children remember things differently. I suppose remembering the special times is her way of holding on to Amy.”
Justin nodded. “Mickie had a bad experience with the last housekeeper. The woman flat refused to fry food. She said it was bad for her. So the only time Mickie got fried chicken was when I fried it on the housekeeper’s day off. I couldn’t figure out for a long while why she wanted fried chicken until one day she told me it was my favorite. The story came out and I started seeing to it that we had it whenever Mickie requested it.”
Justin went to the entry closet and placed his briefcase in there. “The only time she asks for it is when she’s feeling insecure or sad.”
Sarah looked down at her hands. “Do you think I triggered her sudden insecurity?”
Justin sighed. “It’s possible. You knew Amy. Mickie has really been missing her mom lately. Maybe she just needs to be reassured that some things will stay the same.”
“You know, I think I need to mention I hurt her last night leaving without waking her up. She said her mom did the same thing.”
A spasm of pain crossed his face. “Yeah. Amy and I had a fight. When she left, she flew out of the house. Mickie was asleep.”
“She also asked if I could cook like Amy.”
Justin dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry, Sarah. Mickie doesn’t understand other people’s pain. She’s only a child.”
Sarah bristled. “I know that. I just thought maybe, well…to me, I guessed that she was missing her mom. I told her I’d try to make homemade meals like Amy, though I’m not as good a cook.”
Justin nodded. “Thank you.”
He turned and started up the stairs. Sarah stared after him, noting how wide his shoulders were. Wide enough to have carried the burden of losing his wife and being a single parent alone? Or had he depended on God to help him?
Sarah remembered his confessions of salvation and that was why he had changed his tune about so many things he’d always considered woman things. Her mother had insisted Justin had never been underhanded in business, but that after he’d been saved, Justin had felt the need to make restitution for things that had happened during the takeover, things Justin hadn’t known about.
Justin disappeared from sight and she sighed. She really didn’t want to remember how her parents had insisted Justin was a nice guy. She only wanted to be friends, make up for her past; not continue to feel guilty as more and more facets of his giving personality revealed themselves to show him as a truly caring man and loving father.
She went to the kitchen and brought out the food. Just as she carried in the glasses of iced tea, Justin and Mickie appeared. Mickie wore pink leggings and a sweatshirt with Daisy Duck on the front. Her outfit not only matched, but it suited the nippy weather outside.
Once seated, they offered thanks for the meal, then passed the food around the table. “So, Sarah, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
Sarah flushed and paused only a moment before passing the potatoes to Justin. When he took them from her, she reluctantly met his eyes. She saw in his gaze that he knew she had no family and he’d hurt her by asking. But what could she say? Her fiancé had planned for her to spend Thanksgiving at his house. But that was before he’d told her he was taking a couple of months off to think, before the letter from Watson and Watson had made it clear she was fired—because André hadn’t had the guts to tell her himself. “I don’t know. Maybe—”
“How about you spend it here,” Justin interrupted, dishing some potatoes up for Mickie. “We don’t have anyone else coming. Bill usually stops by. I don’t know what he’ll do now that he’s married. But we’d love to have you.”
Mickie, ever tuned in to any conversation around her, piped up, “Please, Aunt Sarah. And this year we could have a real turkey instead of the one Daddy buys at the store. It was too chewy,” she added, making a face.
It was Justin’s turn to flush. “Hey, kiddo,” he warned good-naturedly, “it was either chewy turkey or going out to a restaurant. And I happen to like eating at home on a holiday, so we just might order chewy turkey again this year.”
“But you got cherry pie for dessert.”
Sarah chuckled. “Well, maybe I could make up a pumpkin.”
Mickie wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“Or chocolate?”
Mickie grinned.
“Does that mean I’ve convinced you?” Justin asked, smiling.
She grinned. “Someone has convinced me…I think the part about picking up the meal held sway.”
Justin’s smile deepened and Sarah suddenly felt awkward. Clearing her throat, she began to eat.
After a few minutes of silence, Justin asked, “What are your plans for today?”
Sarah shrugged. “I definitely need to go shopping. I thought I’d get some boxes from storage.” She sipped her tea, then plunged ahead. “You won’t mind watching Mickie the rest of today, will you? I’ll be back by dinner.”
Sarah wanted time away from the domestic scene so she could come to grips with all the changes since arriving at the house. It seemed that her whole life had been turned upside down in one short day.
Sarah looked up, expecting a frown. After all, Justin had promised her Sunday to herself if she wanted it, not Saturday, and she wasn’t even sure he was done with all his work. Instead, a knowing smile met her.
“I don’t mind spending the day with Mickie for a minute. But if you think I’m going to let you work all day while we play…” He tsked. “I suggest we go with you so I can help load those boxes, then we’ll all grab something for supper on the way home.”
“No, really,” she started to protest.
Justin stopped her by shaking his head. “I insist. Besides, it’s Saturday. Saturday is supposed to be a fun day, isn’t it, Mickie?”
Mickie squealed and immediately launched into what their Saturdays were usually like.
As Mickie rambled on, Justin smiled tenderly. Sarah, however, didn’t hear what Mickie was saying.
Because when Justin turned that smile on her, she realized with a sinking heart that his smile was the true reason she wanted out of there for a while.
Chapter Five (#ulink_6b5e6e9f-a0e4-57ce-a0c6-a507187177c8)
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