A Holiday To Remember
Jillian Hart
To: Uncle Ben From: Mia Re: Thanks to you, we have a whole new family!Moving to Chestnut Grove was the best thing to happen to Mom and me. It's so neat that a few months ago Mom didn't know she had a half brother–you! And I can tell she likes Jonah Fraser, this really cool carpenter.I always tell Mom she's got to believe in the power of prayer. But now I have my own special prayer–that mom and Jonah get together to make this the best Christmas ever!
A Holiday To Remember
Jillian Hart
Special thanks and acknowledgment are given to
Jillian Hart for her contribution to the
A TINY BLESSINGS TALE miniseries.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Epilogue
Chapter One
“Mom, are you even listening to me?”
“Sure I am, kid.” Debra Cunningham Watson was too busy navigating her SUV down the small Virginia town’s unfamiliar and icy streets to do more than shoot a quick glance in her thirteen-year-old daughter’s direction. “I’m just trying not to crash into the car in front of us.”
Did they have to hit the noon-hour rush? Things had not been going according to plan for this entire trip, which was why they were running late. The long line of slow-moving traffic through the town’s main street didn’t help. Nor did the knowledge that the appointment she had to keep was a personal one—meeting with Ben Cavanaugh, the half brother she didn’t know she had until six months ago. Talk about being thrown for a loop. She still couldn’t quite believe it.
“Mom, aren’t the decorations awesome?”
Mia was at the age where everything was either awesome or tragic. Since the line of cars ahead of her had stopped inching forward due to a red light, Debra relaxed back into the leather seat, took her eyes from the road and considered her daughter. Talk about high hopes. Meeting her cousins from Ben’s side of the family, along with his wife, her new aunt, was about all Mia could talk about during the morning-long drive on wintry roads from their home near Baltimore.
Mia leaned against the restraint of her seat belt to point across the dash. “Is that like the biggest Christmas tree ever? They’re using the fire truck’s ladder. Look!”
“So I see.” Debra hadn’t noticed, she’d been too busy stressing over the compact snow and ice on the road. But since the traffic was still stopped, she took a moment to scan up the street, where two city workers were mounting Christmas lights in the shapes of giant candy canes and Christmas stars and silver bells on the utility poles.
Beyond the block of quaint shop-lined street, she spotted a city park, where snow blanketed a stretch of grass and mantled picture-perfect evergreens. In the center of the square was an enormous spruce, probably as old as the town itself, long graceful boughs holding up strings of fat, lit bulbs. What would it be like to live in such a postcard-perfect place?
Impossible, that’s what. It was like a Currier & Ives scene, with the morning’s snowfall fresh on the ground and crisping the roofs and awnings and trees along the row of shops. It could even make someone as driven as she was wish for a quieter life. Then again, a quieter life often came with a less impressive paycheck, and that meant no Chesapeake Bay-view home and no prestigious private school for Mia. No top-of-the-line luxury SUV.
And it wasn’t only material things at stake, Debra thought with a heavy heart as the traffic began to creep forward and she eased her foot back onto the gas pedal. There were the family obligations to consider. Obligations to those living and those gone.
Debra’s throat ached with sorrow and she forced down the grief that still felt too immense to handle. It had not been easy to lose her mother. To make it all worse, coming to this adorable little town was like digging up all that grief and hurt and confusion and feeling it anew.
But not for Mia. No, learning about Ben had seemed to help the girl with her burden of grief, for she and her grandmother had been tight. Practically joined at the hip. Mia was lit up as she took in every detail. “Mom! Don’t you see it? It’s a sign.”
Uh-oh, here we go again, Debra thought. “You mean, the sign that says, Welcome to Chestnut Grove?” She couldn’t help but tease a little because she knew it would make her daughter smile or at least roll her eyes in the way of teenagers everywhere. But did it divert Mia? Not a chance.
“Mom, really. You know I meant a sign from heaven, not a physical signpost.” Mia pursed her lips in ladylike disapproval, thirteen going on forty-three. “This sign can only mean one thing.”
“I’m afraid to ask what.”
“That God is about to answer my deepest, most secret prayer.”
There she went talking about God again. It took all Debra’s effort to snap her mouth shut and keep it that way. Thankfully, the street she needed to turn left onto came into view and she pulled the SUV into the icy turn lane. When she eased onto the brakes, the vehicle skidded to a safe stop. “If I had a prayer, it would be to arrive at Ben’s business in one piece.”
“Do you know what your problem is, Mom?”
“I’m afraid to know the answer to that, too.”
“You don’t believe in the power of prayer.”
Where had she heard this exact phrase before? Oh, yes, constantly, the entire time she was growing up. Debra didn’t know if she believed in heaven anymore, but she knew beyond a doubt that her mother had. And if her mother were there, then surely she would be looking down rejoicing in the fact that her granddaughter was carrying on her life’s work to save as many people as possible, especially Debra.
Resigned, Debra turned at the break in traffic and crept through the intersection. The temperature was dropping, confirmed by the gauge on the dash and the fact that the passenger compartment felt colder. Snow clouds hung overhead, gathering momentum. With any luck, they’d finish seeing Ben and be able to get back to the bed-and-breakfast before more of the white stuff fell. Debra turned up the heater.
“I’ll have you know that prayer works.” Mia gave her curly brown hair a flip. “I know it does because we’re here in Chestnut Grove right now. Together. It’s proof.”
“We’re here because we agreed to meet Ben.”
“But we’re meeting Ben because I prayed for more family to love and God answered me. He had to take Grandmother Millie from us, but He saw fit to give us Ben.”
How did she tell Mia that God and prayers had nothing to do with it? That a carpenter had been renovating a wall in some mansion here in this town, and had discovered original birth certificates and records of adoptions that had been falsified. Ben Cavanaugh’s birth information had been part of those discovered records and that’s how he had found them.
It was not God’s handiwork, she thought sensibly, but the result of someone renovating a house. Debra was on her way to touch bases with her half brother not because of some grand design by God. Really. It was happenstance—mere chance—that they’d even learned about Ben at all. That was why they were here. The only reason they were here.
But she didn’t say that to Mia, not when she knew those words would dampen her daughter’s happiness. Debra cut her eyes from the road long enough to take in Mia’s dear face. She had a light scattering of freckles across her perfect nose and a peaches-and-cream complexion. Dimples bracketed her bright smile, and she radiated hope and life.
When was the last time she saw her daughter so bubbly? Her dark eyes glinted with a joyful brightness that had been missing since, well, Debra realized with a heavy heart, since her mom’s passing. There was no way she would take an ounce of Mia’s hope away, but larger questions had plagued her since all of this came to light.
What if it was a mistake getting involved with Ben and his family? They were strangers. They’d only met Ben once, when he’d made a short trip to Maryland to meet them. He’d been nice—but so were a lot of people on the surface. What if once his curiosity about them was satisfied, Ben cut off all ties? What would that do to Mia?
Debra had plenty of other doubts and concerns, but that was the greatest one. Which was why her stomach was becoming a tighter knot with every click of the odometer. She checked the cross street at the corner signpost adorned with Christmas lights and realized they were a block away. One more block and they would come face to face with Ben. With all her uncertainties and questions and doubts.
Don’t think about them now, Debra, she told herself. She was here for Mia. To make this a good experience for her daughter. Goodness knew, they’d had enough bad ones lately and it was taking its toll.
“A Christian bookstore, Mom! Cool. We’ll have to stop there later, promise?” Mia seemed enchanted by the town’s streets, which did have a certain charm. “Oh, and that’s a school. A junior high. That would be better any day than my yucky school.”
“The Stanton School is one of the best in the country.” And also their biggest source of conflict, Debra thought, but decided to keep her tone light. “I went there. Your aunt Lydia went there. Your grandmother Millie went there.”
“I know.” Mia rolled her eyes. “I’m a Cunningham and a Watson. There would be nowhere else I could possibly go. Family tradition is so-oo important.”
Normally Debra would comment on the sarcasm, but this wasn’t the time. She had enough on her mind, and did she dare break Mia’s wonderful good mood? Absolutely not. It had actually lasted all morning long. A record for recent times. Debra pulled the SUV to a stop in front of Cavanaugh’s Carpentry and cut the engine.
“We’re here! I can’t stand it.” Mia hit the seat-belt release. “I’m so excited. I’m glad we’re seeing Uncle Ben and all, but I don’t know if I can wait much longer to meet Aunt Leah and Cousin Olivia and baby Joseph.”
“You’ll manage.” Before Debra could pull the keys from the ignition, Mia was already out the door, the frigid gusts of wind tangling her hair and blowing her coat open. Her hand-knit, designer sweater might be made of wool, but it was hardly protection against this kind of weather. “Zip up and pull on your hood, sweetie.”
“I’m too happy to feel cold!” Mia argued, but did as she was told in an absentminded way, gawking about as if this were the most remarkable place on earth.
As the passenger door slammed shut, Debra buttoned her wool peacoat and wrapped a scarf over her head. In the two moments it took for her to pull her warmest gloves from the console, Mia had circled around and was opening the driver’s door for her.
“Mom! Hurry up! You’re taking forever.”
Debra couldn’t help laughing just a little. It helped with the mounting worries that just kept plaguing her. So much could go wrong.
Then again, maybe that only meant there were a lot of things to go right. After all, she’d already met her half brother once, right? Ben was a nice man—it was hard not to like him. Although months had passed since she’d found out this shocking news, she still couldn’t quite grasp it. Her mind understood it, but her heart could not accept it.
“Snowflakes!” Mia held out her mittened hand, palm up, to let the first airy, dizzying flakes of snow land. “Mom, it’s a sign.”
“How is that possible?” She climbed down from the seat and closed the door. “You think everything is a sign.”
“That’s ’cause everything is a sign. God is everywhere, watching over us. Grandmother Millie always said that and it’s true. See?”
It looked like there would be no escaping Grandmother Millie or her religious influence on Mia—and although these things were thorns in her side, Debra decided to ignore the sting. She’d made a promise to her daughter and considering the difficulties they’d had lately, she wanted to put her best effort into this trip, into bringing them closer together.
“They are lovely,” Debra said of the snowflakes. If one had an overactive imagination, like Mia, then, Debra conceded, the crisp, lovely fragile flakes could look like a sign of good things to come.
“Not lovely, Mom. Perfect.” A gust of wind threw her hood back and Mia twirled, letting the snowflakes catch in her cloud of soft brown hair. “Everything’s gonna be perfect. I just know it. This is gonna be a holiday to remember.”
“I hope so, sweet pea.”
If she were a religious woman, Debra would pray for it to be true. But why put her energies into something so unproven? Faith was like those snowflakes on the wind, dizzily falling where the air currents took them. She could catch one on the tip of her fingers if she wanted to, but what good would it do? It would melt away and she’d be left with nothing.
Besides, she had learned to rely on herself and nothing had been the same since Mom’s passing. Now, with Ben, it could never go back to the way things were. Even the memory of her family—of her mother—was tarnished.
She beeped the door locked as the snowflakes swirled around her, not at all surprised to hear the thump of her daughter’s fashionable boots on the shoveled front step.
The wind gusted, catching the fringe of her scarf and the hem of her coat. It felt like a touch against her face, turning her gently leftward. Her gaze aligned perfectly with a large window, offering a view inside the carpenter’s workshop where a lone man was kneeling in a fall of soft gray daylight. Broad of shoulder, humble in appearance and deeply masculine, the man worked with his head bent, carefully brushing sandpaper over a corner of something made of wood—his big body blocked any view of it.
Who is he? The question filled her mind and stilled all the worries and cautions in her heart. She forgot to take a step forward and simply stood rooted in place with the snowflakes sifting through the icy air like pure sugar, unable to take her eyes off the man. He was so big and rugged looking, he could have been made of steel.
Not that she was prone to noticing men or how they were built. Maybe it wasn’t him that held her attention at all, she rationalized. Perhaps what caught her attention was the unlikely contrast between the intimidating-looking linebacker of a man working so patiently at his craft. It seemed like a paradox.
“Mom?” Mia had retraced her steps to see what had captured her mother’s attention. “That’s not Uncle Ben. Who is it?”
“I don’t know. Probably one of his employees.”
Before she could move, the woodworker stiffened, as if he sensed her gaze. The breath left her lungs when he suddenly stood, all six feet of him, and stared back at her. He was pure silhouette, backlit by the faint light spilling from above. Caught between darkness and light he looked almost unreal, a shadowed form and nothing more.
Even before he took a step forward and moved into the light, Debra felt the power of his protective spirit; how silly was that? She wasn’t given to flights of fancy. She didn’t have the luxury of it as a hardworking single mom.
He gestured to the side of the building, not the front door, and Mia took off at a fast clip, galloping toward what appeared to be a side door. It swung open and there he was, the man in flesh and bone, with thick brown hair, dark eyes and a strong, ruggedly handsome face. He wore a plain navy blue thermal Henley and sawdust-covered jeans.
The look of him didn’t come as a surprise. If she were to describe him in a single word, it would be intimidating.
“Who are you?” Mia demanded. “I’m here to see my uncle Ben.”
“You must be Mia. I’m Jonah Fraser. And you—” Jonah lifted his gaze to hers. His dark eyes focused on her with frank scrutiny. “You’re Debra. The half sister.”
“Yes, although that’s a new title for me.”
He continued to study her stoically. He was just this side of frightening, Debra thought, because he felt so remote. His size alone was daunting, but he said nothing else. Apparently he was a man of few words.
Was he the withdrawn, quiet type? Or simply unfriendly? No, not unfriendly, she decided as he gestured with one big hand toward the door. He was very self-controlled.
“Come in,” he said. “Ben’s not—”
“He isn’t here?” Mia had a good view through the doorway as she skidded to a stop in front of Jonah Fraser. “But we came all this way and he promised. He said he’d have plans of what we’re gonna do next and everything.”
So, Ben was a no-show.
I feared this might happen, Debra bit her lip to keep the words to herself. Hadn’t she almost expected that Ben would let down Mia and then where would she be? Then again, maybe she was expecting the worst.
She stepped forward to lay her hand on her daughter’s slim shoulder. “We are about an hour late. I almost called first from the bed-and-breakfast, but Ben had left a message with the manager just to head straight over.”
“Did he give up waiting for us?” Mia asked, her voice trembling.
“No.” Kindness flickered in Jonah’s eyes, which were darkly inscrutable. “An emergency call came in and he had to go out.”
“Will he be back?” Mia asked, distressed.
“He promised.”
Debra didn’t want to notice the steady warmth in Jonah Fraser’s eyes or the subtle but unmistakable calm. Although he was physically intimidating, she felt intensely safe. And she couldn’t rightly say why. “Do you know if Ben will be long? We could head back to our room and wait for him.”
“No need.” He took a step, leading the way, and the strong line of his shoulders dipped slightly as he drew his right leg forward.
He was limping. And seriously. He was athletic enough that he compensated fairly well, but his wasn’t the kind of limp one might have with a sprained ankle. No, Jonah moved as if he’d been seriously wounded. She worked with a man who’d had a severe car accident and even years later, walked similarly. Had something like that happened to Jonah?
He held the door and closed it after them, stiffly polite. “Go through that door. You’ll be more comfortable in there.”
She imagined he’d feel more comfortable, too. She untied her scarf and snowflakes tumbled from the wool to the floor between them. Jonah said nothing, leaving silence to fill the space. She didn’t know what to say to this man who looked like he was made of steel on the inside, too. He certainly didn’t say much.
Which was a change from most men she knew. She realized she was staring at him a little too openly and her face heated. Really, what was wrong with her? Was this a sign she was losing it completely? She’d been under a lot of strain lately, but she wasn’t one to openly study a man, as if she were interested….
Really, she was not interested in another man who would only let her down. She turned to take Mia’s coat and realized the girl had wandered off toward a maze of machines in the middle of the shop, and some had sharp-looking blades. “Mia, don’t snoop. Come back here.”
“But, Mom, you gotta see this! It’s awesome.”
It was the wonder in Mia’s voice that drew Debra forward, to see over a huge angular and very technical-looking saw to a lone crib in the later stages of construction. Without stain or varnish, without polish or even all of its pieces, the crib was beautiful. It stood in the sift of light from a roof window directly overhead and looked like something out of a dream, diffused with light.
As Debra stepped closer, she saw the careful scrollwork and the intricate hand carving that was sheer perfection. She ran her fingertip over the smooth-as-glass texture, feeling awe sift through her like the snowflakes outside.
The time and patience it must take to do such beautiful work, she couldn’t imagine. It was delicate and fragile and storybook beautiful, but what really mystified her was the man who’d made it.
The reticent, brawny Jonah Fraser had done this.
Chapter Two
Jonah Fraser stirred the contents of the last hot-chocolate package into the coffee cup, watching the tiny white marshmallows swirl in the whirlpool created by the spoon. He held his emotions still as he kept Debra Cunningham Watson, of the publishing empire, in his peripheral vision.
Ben had talked about her and, since Ben was more than his employer but a close friend, he felt that he had some stake in this. Ben had been glad to learn the identity of his birth mother and that while she had sadly passed away, he had three other half siblings to get to know. Debra was the oldest of the Watson clan and she was about what he expected.
Ben had glossed over the details, but Jonah could read between the lines. She had that tight-lipped reserve he’d seen before from old-money families. He knew she was a big executive, a vice president or something. Everything about her shouted privilege, from her sleek brown locks to her perfect skin and smile to the upscale designer clothes she wore. Conservative black wool and trendy winter boots. Yep, she definitely looked like the type of woman who had an MBA from Harvard.
Jonah removed the spoon from the cup. He kept Debra Watson in his sight while he grabbed the two chipped mugs by the handles and headed their way. A few things about her puzzled him. One, her chin-up, lips-pursed attitude had softened as she studied the crib. That told him her manner was more facade and habit, it was easy to see she wasn’t as icy as she first seemed.
The second thing that surprised him was the age of the daughter. Twelve or thirteen, he guessed. Ben had mentioned the girl, but not her age, not that Jonah could recall, and it made him wonder what had gone on there. Debra must have gotten married young and divorced. That was his guess, anyway.
“Wow, this is so cool.” Mia was all cheerful exuberance as she circled the crib. “Are you, like, making this? I mean, you’re just making it all by yourself?”
“Yep. With wood and tools and everything.”
“It’s so cool!”
“Thanks.” He took one look at the girl’s innocent excitement and suddenly the memory of other children in another country hit him like a flash flood. Stay in the present, bud, he told himself, fighting the flashback. He locked down the doors on his heart before his sorrow and guilt could overtake him and bolted those doors good.
He set both cups down on the nearby worktable that stood between them. “Hot chocolate with minimarshmallows. I hope that’s okay.”
“Thanks!” The kid lit up. She was easily thrilled. Anyone could see she’d been raised with care and love. And manners, because she grabbed both cups and took one to her mother. To the woman who was staring at him as if he’d sprouted antennae and turned martian green.
Great. He often had that effect on women who didn’t know him. He’d experienced this before. The more dainty and proper and upper-crust the lady, the more likely she was to be put off by the sheer size of him.
He was a big guy, and he’d been told he looked fairly fierce. He couldn’t argue with that—a recon marine was about as tough of a warrior as it was possible to be. He knew the stain of what he’d accomplished and failed to accomplish as a marine in Iraq clung to him like residue. He often wondered if it somehow put other people off.
“Thank you.” The woman—Debra—had taken a step back as if she were intimidated and took a dainty sip of the hot chocolate. Somehow she was able to avoid the marshmallow fluff that stained her daughter’s mouth. The girl had come around the worktable to stare openly at him, while the woman—Debra—was studying the crib.
So he took a moment to study her. Ben’s half sister. He couldn’t see it at first. But as she stepped into the softer daylight from the roof windows, it became more evident in the simple straight dignity of her nose, which wasn’t too small or big, and in the manner that she held her head just so while she thought. Snowflakes were melting in the silk of her hair and on the collar of her fancy fur-lined coat.
“This is lovely.” She gave him a polite smile. “You are a very talented woodworker.”
A blush heated his face. He shrugged one shoulder. “I try.”
“And modest, too. That’s a change from the men I’ve been around lately.”
“Can’t be much of a man if he isn’t humble.”
“Exactly.” She smiled; it was an honest smile.
For a moment he saw past the polite veneer and cool distance into something brighter. Maybe it was just a trick of the gray light from above or his falling blood sugar. He’d delayed his lunch hour so he could be here for Ben’s half sister. More importantly, he’d wanted to meet this woman. He was protective of his good friend.
“I imagine it was hard finding out that you have an older brother,” he heard himself saying.
“You have no idea.” She said it kindly but as if there was more to it. “I was just as shocked to learn of Ben, as Ben was to learn he was related to us. I’m still trying to adjust. It’s strange going from being the oldest to the second out of the blue.”
There was pain there, Jonah realized, a pain she quickly battled down. Okay, he had sympathy for that. He understood inner pain—it haunted him every moment of every day, and he didn’t know what to say to her.
She broke the silence, gesturing toward the crib. “Is this for Ben’s baby, Joseph?”
“No, this is for some good friends of mine, and of Ben’s, too. Ross and Kelly Van Zandt’s baby boy. He arrived a little earlier than expected.”
“Is that the same Kelly from the adoption agency? Ben mentioned her.” Debra glanced at her daughter, who was still staring at him. “Mia, where are your manners?”
“It’s okay,” he added quickly, wondering if the waiflike girl was a little scared of him. She wouldn’t be the first. “Are you wondering why I’m so big? God made me this way so I could serve His purpose.”
“What purpose?” Mia asked, wide-eyed. “Are you a Christian, too? Which church do you go to?”
She looked up at him with curiosity in her big innocent eyes, her cupid’s face wreathed with expectation. Cute kid, obviously sheltered and privileged and well cared for, just as a child should be. He battled down images of the world he’d seen—not good images, where children were not so safe and protected. He noticed the gold chain and cross at her throat. “Yes, I’m a Christian. I belong to the Chestnut Grove Community Church.”
“That pretty one with the big steeple that looks like it belongs in a storybook?”
“That’s the one.”
“Wow.”
“Yes, wow.” Debra squelched an inner groan. Irrepressible Mia felt that everyone should be saved. It was a nice sentiment, but unrealistic. She’d taken so many hard blows lately between her mom’s passing and then over the truth about her mom’s past, these days she was putting faith in God right up there on the shelf with her thoughts about Santa Claus. Nice, but not relevant to her life.
That sounded harsh, but she was a grown woman who’d gotten where she was with hard work, determination and having to face adult responsibilities without a lot of help.
Okay, there she went again when she had vowed to focus on Mia and the trip. Time for a change in subject. “Mia, come on. Let’s wait in the reception area and let Mr. Fraser get back to his work. I’m sure we’re inconveniencing him.”
“But, Mom!” Mia’s jaw dropped in utter disbelief. “Can’t you see we’re talking about God?”
“I thought you were about to pry into Mr. Fraser’s personal life and make sure he’s really a Christian, the way you did with the gas-station attendant this morning. The way you do with everyone you meet.”
To her surprise, the big, stony Mr. Fraser smiled. He wasn’t quite as fearsome when he did. The granite line of his square jaw softened and his hard mouth that could have been sculpted from stone warmed into a handsome smile. He had straight, even white teeth and a sincerity that made him striking.
She felt a frisson of interest as pure as the snowflakes fluttering down from the heavens. This man perplexed her. He was apparently part weightlifter and part legend with an artist’s soul.
“Call me Jonah,” he said. “When I hear Mr. Fraser, I think my dad is standing behind me. Besides, the little lady isn’t inconveniencing me or prying.”
“You truly are a kind man to say so,” Debra found herself saying. “Mia has better manners than that—”
“Reverend Fraser is your dad?” Mia interrupted, in direct contradiction.
What was a mother to do? Mia had a strong spirit and a stubborn streak, not unlike herself at that age. Debra caught Mr. Fraser’s—Jonah’s—gaze and watched his smile deepen until it warmed the cool depths of his eyes.
He was definitely a different kind of man than she was used to being around, but suddenly she was no longer intimidated by the rugged strength of him. Whatever else Jonah Fraser may be, she bet he was a teddy bear at heart because he turned patiently to Mia and his manner was genuinely kind. “Why don’t you come to Sunday service and I’ll introduce you to him? At least, I’m guessing that you’ll be attending with Ben and his family.”
“Ye-ah.” Mia rolled her eyes heavenward as if there couldn’t possibly be any other answer, so why did he bother asking?
It seemed like everywhere she turned, there was the conflict over Mia’s faith—and Debra’s lack of conviction. But what could she say to such a kindly meant invitation? “We’ll talk about Sunday later, Mia.”
“Mo-om!”
“We were going to take this visit one day at a time, remember?” Time for another change in topic. The trouble was, why did her first thoughts turn to Jonah and finding out more about him? “How long have you been making such beautiful furniture?”
“Oh, I’ve always been fairly handy.” He eased forward, his shoulder dipping slightly to compensate for his limp. “I’ve always worked with wood in one way or another—”
Mia broke in. “You didn’t want to be a minister like your dad?”
Debra inwardly cringed. Was Mia wound up today or what? “Mia, you know better than to interrupt.”
“It’s all right.” Jonah’s baritone rang with patience and good humor as he drew up a metal stool and eased his big frame onto it. “I thought very seriously about joining the ministry, but I didn’t feel a real calling to do it. There’s another reason, too. I like to write, but I’m not so good with talking in front of a crowd. If I had to talk to a congregation, I’d stammer and forget my sermon, and my looking like a fool wouldn’t help anyone.”
There was something innately noble about him. She could see it now, as his quiet tough-guy manner softened a bit. He radiated a subtle but unmistakable strength of character.
Drawn to him, Debra came closer and rested the hot mug on the table. She did want to know more about this man. Something told her he was interesting. His combination of brawny toughness and shy woodworker intrigued her. “You look like a man who could never be a fool.”
“Well, I suppose you mean that as a compliment and I thank you for it, but I’ve made mistakes like anyone else. Maybe more than most.” Sadness, or maybe it was regret, shadowed his expressive eyes. His face turned stony. “I wound up following a calling I was more suited to rather than following my dad’s path.”
“You have more courage than I did at the time. Instead of following my dreams or my calling, I followed my mother’s path in life. Same college, graduate school and then I went to work for my family’s company.”
“There’s no shame in that, none at all. Ben tells me that you’re in publishing?”
“Yes.” Was it her imagination or was he intentionally changing the subject? Well, she could do that, too. “Do you regret not following your father’s path? Or are you content with your choices?”
“Some days, yes. Some days, no.” His easiness vanished and he looked sad again. “Life never turns out the way you expect.”
“Or want.” They apparently had that in common. She felt so many emotions begin to work their way into words; emotions she’d not really taken out to examine in a good long time. “We get caught up in what we should do. What we ought to be. What we mean to do. It never turns out the way you intend.”
“That’s why I love my job here, working at building things. It’s nothing like real life with tragedy and things you can never reconcile. When I sit down to make a piece of furniture, there’s only the doing of it. The feel of the wood in my hands, rough at first, then the shaping of it, the sanding and carving and finishing. If it doesn’t come out as I intended, nine times out of ten it comes out better.”
“I wish life could be that way.”
“Me, too.”
Jonah wondered if she had any idea how transparent she was at that moment. Her icy career woman’s veneer was down and the wintry daylight burnished her with a silver glow. He could see the longing in her eyes for something—he didn’t know her at all, so he couldn’t guess at what that might be—before her practical side won over and the moment was gone.
It was a puzzle what a put-together woman like Debra, who looked like she had it going on, would have to regret in life. Ben hadn’t mentioned if Debra had a husband. Jonah didn’t see a wedding ring on her slender, manicured hands. Had she suffered through a divorce? A painful marriage?
It still amazed him that she didn’t look old enough to have a teenage daughter. She looked so young herself. Her heart-shaped face was luminous, reminding him of the female leads in those black-and-white movies—so radiant and serene, peaceful and timeless. What could a woman with so much going for her have to regret?
He thought of his own failures, of the men he’d failed. The remembrance settled like a weight on his soul. What would she think of him if she knew?
“Mom! Mom!” The girl had moved to the far side of the crib, kneeling down to inspect the turned legs. “I’ve got the best idea ever.”
Debra smiled and it only made her lovelier. “I live in fear of your best ideas.”
“But this really is the best one! You gotta come look. Please?”
Debra pushed away from the table. “I’m going to admire your handiwork again. How long does it take for you to build something like this, from start to finish?”
“As long as it takes to do it right.”
“You’re not a man who bills by the hour?”
“Only by the job.” What else could he say to that? He supposed a woman with her business background had a clear understanding of profit margins and whatnot, but he didn’t care so much. How did he say it was the reward of the job well done and to the best of his ability? It was something no one could pay him for. It was something he didn’t know how to explain.
Mia studied him over the top of the frame. “Do you make other stuff, too? Like beds?”
“Sure. I finished a bedroom set before this.”
“You mean, a bed and a dresser? Really?”
“Unbelievable, but true.”
Mia clasped her hands as if in prayer. “Could you make one for me? Can he, Mom? Please, please, please?”
I should have seen this coming, Debra thought as she tugged at her jacket cuffs, straightening them, giving her a chance to think. Saying no was on the tip of her tongue—they’d talked about redoing Mia’s room, but that was before she went away to school. Lately, they’d had bigger topics to discuss, like meeting Ben for the first time, the changes in their family and the changes in what they knew to be true about her mother. All the issues that seemed to tear them apart even further. The bedroom remodel had been pushed onto the back burner.
Mia’s radar apparently was sensing weakness because she abandoned the lovely crib to grab hold of Debra’s hand. “Please? You said you’d think about new stuff for my room and that was a long time ago. I’ve been patient and everything.”
“I know, sweet pea. We did talk about new furniture—”
Before she could say a single word more, Mia gave a squeal of delight. “Yes! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Across the scuffed worktable, Jonah was grinning at her. Grinning. As if he found this to be highly amusing. It was an all-out, full-scale smile that knocked her socks off, she believed the term went. She’d never quite experienced such a reaction before. She was certain that her toes were at least tingling as the big man met her gaze.
For a fraction of a moment, it felt as if the world stopped spinning. As if time stood still. She couldn’t explain it and before she could analyze it, Jonah tore his gaze away and pulled out a battered three-ring binder from a nearby shelf. As if nothing had happened between them, as if nothing had changed whatsoever, he went to work thumbing through the binder, holding it open in one big hand. With an economy of movement, he slipped the binder onto the table between them.
“Here are a few snapshots of a bedroom set I’ve done in the same pattern.” He gazed at her with a knowing look, as if he knew she’d already made up her mind to get the entire set.
Him leaning over the table to show her the page made her draw closer. So close, with only the book separating them, she could see that his eyes, which appeared black from a distance, were really a striking dark brown with flecks of gold. This close, she could see that a faint shadow clung to his jaw as if he hadn’t shaved that morning. He smelled like soap and he looked even more invincible. The strong presence that he projected intensified, and she could see the rapid beat of his pulse in his neck. There was no doubt about it, if she’d come across this man in an abandoned alley, her first reaction would be alarm. But down deep, she knew on an instinctive level that Jonah Fraser was all man, and he was a very good one.
Why on earth was she noticing the furniture maker and not the furniture? What had come over her? Debra mentally shook herself and forced her gaze down to the plastic-covered pages where snapshots, neatly taken, displayed a breathtaking cherrywood bedroom set. Obliviously hand tooled to perfection.
“Mia, why don’t you come look at this?” The words tumbling out of her mouth didn’t sound like hers at all. This wasn’t like her. Why? She took a step back and to the side as her daughter approached. “This should be your decision, kid. This will be your furniture for a long time to come.”
“Wow! Cool, Mom.” Mia bounced against the table.
Now, if only she could focus on the lovely furniture they were about to buy instead of the man towering over her. Goodness, she hadn’t been intrigued by a man romantically since Mia’s father had walked out on her. That was the day she’d closed the door to her heart and locked it for good—or for at least until Mia was grown. So what was going on?
Quiet Jonah had opened that door to her feelings, she realized. Impossibly, in a matter of moments, he’d done what no other man had been able to do for the last thirteen years.
Suddenly she realized it was silent and that both Mia and Jonah were staring at her expectantly. Had she missed something? Her mind scrambled to try to figure out what it could have been. The last thing she remembered was the furniture.
It wasn’t like her to check out like that or to notice a man—any man—so strongly that she lost track of what was going on around her.
“You don’t like the sleigh bed?” Mia asked in distress.
“Oh, baby, I think it’s lovely.” Okay, she was back on track. She brushed her fingertip across the plastic photo-sleeve page, trying to ignore Jonah’s gaze, a brush against the side of her face.
Had he guessed that she was curious about him? How embarrassing. There was no way she could look him in the eye now. She stared hard at the page and hoped beyond hope her voice would sound normal—or at least not so vulnerable.
“This is truly an incredible set. You do amazing work, Jonah.”
“Everything I do is custom. If you want a different piece than I’ve got here, I’ll sketch something up for you. You name it, I’ll build it.”
He had the warmest baritone, as cozy in sound as a fire in a hearth, inviting you closer. Debra truly wished she wasn’t affected.
Mia planted her elbows on the table. “And, like, maybe a desk, huh, Jonah?”
His fathomless gaze softened. “What kind? How ’bout a lady’s writing desk? Good for studying or using your computer but looks pretty, too. Won’t take up a lot of room.”
“Yes!” Mia put on her most innocent look. “I can have that, too, right, Mom?”
“Right.” Fighting hard to keep her thoughts on their business transaction, she tapped on the page. “We’d be interested in a dresser and a chest of drawers, too. Maybe a chair?”
“A rocking chair?” Mia’s eyes widened. “And, like, a cedar chest, you know, to put at the end of the bed and sit on?”
Jonah’s chuckle was a warm surprise. “I could do that.”
He had wonderfully strong hands and thick, scarred fingers that looked like he could do anything—and had. There was something in his shadowed eyes, something in the tense angle of his jaw, the way he kept his feelings carefully controlled that made her wonder more about him. About where he’d been and what he’d done. Why he limped. Why a man who looked strong and capable enough to save the world was making furniture in a carpentry shop in Chestnut Grove.
He’s not any of your business, Debra, she reminded herself.
He moved a bit closer, turning the page of his book to show a photograph of a similar bedroom set. She hardly noticed the writing desk that made Mia gasp for the man whose gaze found hers.
In that moment, between the beat of her heart and the next, it felt as if time stretched again. She saw a glimpse of the answers—and of the man—in his expressive gold-flecked eyes. In the raw pain that moved across his handsome face.
Before she could begin to wonder, the outside door snapped open, a gust of frigid air rolled between them and her heart started beating again. The moment was gone, time marched on and Jonah lifted one hand in a welcoming greeting to the newcomer, leaving Debra wondering if she’d imagined the moment.
But before she could think on it any further, Mia was shouting. “Uncle Ben! Mom, it’s Uncle Ben!”
And all questions—and curiosity—about Jonah Fraser were put on hold.
Chapter Three
Debra watched Ben close the door against the cascade of snow that had tumbled in with him. Her half brother. She still couldn’t get over it.
“Whew,” he said, unwrapping the muffler from around his throat. “It’s really starting to come down out there. Mia, it’s good to see you again. You’re looking very Christmassy.”
“It’s my new sweater. See? It has real bells on it.” The girl jumped up and down until the tiny bells sewn into the sweater tinkled cheerfully. “I’m so glad you came back!”
“I wouldn’t miss you and your mom’s visit for the world.” Ben had a kind look to him, a down-to-earth quality that it was hard not to like.
And she’d tried, Debra thought. Big-time. She didn’t want to like him. She still didn’t want to like him, but he had a friendly smile that was hard not to return. A few months ago, he’d come out to Maryland to meet them. While it had gone fairly well, she still wasn’t ready to welcome him with open arms. She didn’t know him. She didn’t know if his claim to the family was a good, positive thing, or if it would turn out to be something they all regretted. You couldn’t see a person’s true motives in one meeting and a few phone calls.
Sure, call her wary, but she felt that, unlike other members of her family, Ben needed to prove himself a good man before she accepted him. She was determined to keep her defenses up.
“Debra.” He nodded once in greeting, glancing over the top of Mia’s brown hair. He looked a little stiff, too, and a little wary.
She knew just how he felt. There was no telling where this would go. Meeting one another had been one thing, but to try to establish a relationship? That involved risk; someone—especially Mia—could get hurt.
“I’m glad you made it here safe,” Ben was saying. “The roads are tough-going.”
“Yes, they often are this time of year.” She heard the stilted sounding words come out of her mouth and she couldn’t seem to think of anything more friendly to say.
But she was strikingly aware of Jonah and her emotions seemed to warm for him as he snapped the binder shut and turned away with it, walking with that uneven gait that made her care. Why him? And why for him, when she couldn’t let herself warm up her frosty feelings toward her half brother? She didn’t like this at all. She was accustomed to being very in control of her emotions.
“Sorry I wasn’t here to meet you two.” Ben hung his coat up on a rack by the door. “Thank you for waiting for me.”
It was Mia who jumped in with an answer. “Like we’d come all this way to not wait? So, when do I get to meet my cousin, Olivia? And baby Joseph? Now?”
Ben chuckled, his gaze softening with kindness; it was hard not to like someone who was good with her daughter. “Soon, I promise. They’re home with Leah. You know, Olivia can’t wait to meet you, too. Debra, Leah is especially excited to meet you both. We were hoping you’d come to the tree-lighting ceremony with us tonight.”
Mia jumped in. “What tree lighting? Is it a special ceremony?”
“Yep. It’s a town tradition over at the mayor’s mansion.” Ben’s chuckle of amusement at Mia’s enthusiasm was nothing but gentle.
Debra could already feel the ties pulling at her like invisible strings of obligation. She’d learned that people were unknown quantities. The last thing she wanted was for Mia to get hurt. To get her hopes up, as she always did, only to be crushed if this didn’t work out. The Cavanaugh family might not want real ties; maybe this invitation to town was about getting their curiosity satisfied. Who knew what the future held? Mia’s heart could be broken.
To make matters worse, she couldn’t seem to concentrate on the conversation. Jonah was reshelving the binder, moving with that disciplined control of his. A lightbulb went on. He had the posture and manner of an elite soldier, that’s what he reminded her of, she realized. Although she couldn’t reconcile that with this man who made such beautiful, intricate furniture.
She realized Mia was staring at her again, as if expecting an answer. “Oh, the tree lighting. What time is that happening?”
“At eight o’clock sharp.” Ben strode toward her. “It’s a big event here. There’ll be music and the church choir will be singing carols. Mia, I’ve heard rumors there might even be a visit from old Saint Nick. There will be bags of candy for the kids, prizes and a church raffle. It’s a good, family-friendly event. We’ve all been looking forward to it. Leah made reservations for all of us at the Hamilton Hotel’s restaurant beforehand.”
“It sounds lovely.” What else could she say? She knew it was right when Ben grinned. He had a smile that was a little ghost of her mother’s—their mother’s, would she ever get used to that? And it made Debra sad in more ways than she could count.
Her throat felt tight as she said, “I look forward to meeting your wife. Leah sent us the nicest letter just last week. I hope she received my response.”
“It came in yesterday’s mail.”
The contents of Leah’s letter had been nothing earthshaking. It was simply a very nice and inviting letter telling more about the extended Cavanaugh family, the town, its history and the best places for them to stay. “We have a room at the Peachtree Bed and Breakfast on her recommendation. It’s a cozy inn, just as she promised.”
“I’m glad it helped out.” His cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket to check the screen. “Oh, speaking of the wife. It’s her. Excuse me, won’t you?”
“Certainly.” Debra stepped away to give him privacy and Mia danced up to her, lit with excitement.
“I’ve never been to a real tree lighting before. Uncle Ben knows I don’t believe in Santa Claus, right? I mean, that’s for little kids.”
“It’s just for fun, you know that.” Debra had grown up in a family where Santa Claus was a secular icon and therefore not part of her childhood, but she didn’t feel as strongly on the subject as her mother had. Millie had been a very strict Christian and disciplinarian. Debra smoothed back a lock of Mia’s baby-fine hair out of her eyes, glad that so far things were going well.
Then a blur of movement at the edge of her vision caught her attention.
Jonah. He was the reason that she’d been distracted throughout her conversation with Ben. The big man had hunkered down to his work carefully sanding a portion of the crib. Debra couldn’t help noticing how his big artist’s hands expertly worked the small square of roughened paper over the delicate scrollwork, she supposed to get it exactly right.
She didn’t know him, but what she did know about the man she liked very much. He was so disciplined and exacting. He obviously cared about his work. It must take a lot of the patience and dedication to build something so intricate and perfect.
She admired that kind of stick-to-it-ness. The muscle-bound man looked out of his element kneeling in front of the delicate crib. She never would have pictured him as a minister’s son.
The man was an interesting contradiction; maybe that’s why she kept wondering about him. Why her eyes kept finding him. Why he stayed at the edges of her mind. He seemed different from most men she knew. In the corporate world, she dealt with a lot of power-hungry men, men concerned with their image, wearing the right suit, driving the right car and having the right title beneath the name on their business cards.
Men like that, she deeply suspected, were like Mia’s father. Men who made promises they couldn’t keep, weren’t man enough to keep.
Jonah looked like a man who knew how to keep his promises and honor his commitments. Not that she was seriously considering even trying to date again. No, it wouldn’t be good for Mia to get attached to a man who decided, in the end, to leave.
Debra pushed that old sadness out of her heart and smoothed the last of the damp remains of snowflakes from her daughter’s hair.
“Mom,” Mia leaned in to whisper. “Isn’t Uncle Ben the greatest?”
“He sure seems to be.” Please let him be, she wished. Not that she was religious anymore, but if she were to pray, she would have one simple request. Please, let this work out. Don’t let Mia get hurt.
“Mom. We get to go to the dinner at the hotel tonight, too, right?”
“Of course, kid. If it’s what you want.”
“Uh, ye-ah!” Mia grabbed Debra’s hand and held on tight, the way she used to do when she was a little girl. There was so much brightness in her smile and so much hope in her spirit that it just shone right out of her. “Isn’t this the greatest day ever?”
“Well, it certainly has been a very good one.”
“Uh-huh! Remember how we never thought we’d get over being so sad when Grandmother Millie died? I’ve been praying and praying ever since. And look what happened. God found us more family to love.”
Mia’s hopes were far too high. They had both taken her mother’s death hard, each in her own way. Mia was only now just starting to come out of the grief.
Debra felt a horrible sinking feeling in her chest. What could she do to protect her daughter? She didn’t have a single idea. Not that she believed a prayer made much difference, but if it could, she hoped hers had risen on angel’s wings. What were the chances of all this with Ben coming out all right?
They had talked about that on the drive here to Virginia. Debra had done her best to try to be sensible and prepare Mia for the truth of relationships. You just couldn’t know how people were going to decide to treat you.
There was Jonah, watching her out of the corner of his eye. Or was that her imagination?
When she turned toward him, he was absorbed in his work. Acting as if he didn’t know she was on the same planet, much less in the same room.
Fine, it was her imagination, after all.
“Leah says hi and welcome,” Ben said as he pocketed his phone. “You are coming to our precelebration dinner, right?”
“Right!” Mia jumped in with a high-pitched answer. “Cousin Olivia’s coming, too, right? And baby Joseph?”
Ben’s chuckle of delight was charming. “Absolutely. Olivia’s talked about nothing else for days. And talked and talked. Girls,” he said, shaking his head in friendly amusement. “If it wasn’t for baby Joseph, I’d be really outnumbered.”
“You don’t look like you’re suffering much,” Debra commented, unable to keep from sharing a smile with her half brother.
“No complaint here. I’ve got more blessings than I can count. Family, that’s what’s important.” He shot a look over to the workman crouching strategically behind the crib. “I keep telling Jonah that, but to no avail. He’s still stubbornly single. I keep hoping to change that.”
“He doesn’t even have a girlfriend?” Mia perked up at that bit of news, twisting toward the woodworker to study him intently. “Is that true, Jonah?”
“Yep, it’s true.” He grinned over the top of the crib. “I’m too busy to have a girlfriend. I keep telling your uncle Ben that, but does it look like he listens?”
“No.” Mia answered. “How can you be too busy to have a girlfriend?”
“Look at me, working through lunch. Next thing I know, I’m working away and I look up and it’s way past dinnertime.”
“That’s just like my mom.” Mia wrinkled her nose. “She’s always at the office. And when she isn’t, do you know where she is?”
Debra could feel Jonah’s gaze on her. And Ben’s, too. She felt her chin shoot up and all her defenses, too. It wasn’t easy being a single parent, but she was doing her absolute best.
The big man on bended knee reached for a fresh sheet of sandpaper. “If your mom’s anything like me, she probably brings work home.”
“That’s it exactly,” Mia confirmed.
“I don’t think it’s much of a secret why she works so hard.”
“It isn’t?” Mia took a step toward him, transfixed.
Deb realized that’s how she felt, too.
“Nope, it’s easy to see.” Jonah’s baritone sliced right through her every defense. “She works that hard for you. Isn’t that right, Debra?”
“Y-yeah.” With her shields down, she felt the impact of his words with her unprotected heart. She’d walked around with those shields up for so long, she felt way too exposed. The odd thing was, she also felt touched that this man she’d only just met understood her. “That’s right, Jonah.”
Their gazes met. No one had ever seen her truth so clearly.
“Seems that we have a lot in common, Debra.” Ben, who’d been quietly watching them, stepped forward, into the light. “We’re more alike than either one of us guessed.”
Her throat ached with emotion. “Maybe we are.”
“So, Jonah.” Mia, irrepressible Mia, focused her big innocent eyes on the woodworker. Again. “Don’t you want a family?”
Here we go again. Deb mentally groaned. What was she going to do about her child? The girl cared about everyone. That wasn’t a bad thing in itself, of course, but all anyone had to do was to look at poor Jonah, blushing a bit as he debated exactly how to answer, to see that he needed rescuing. “What was I just saying to you, kiddo?”
“Oh, that I’m not supposed to, uh, pry?” She shrugged a lock of silken curls behind her shoulder. “Oh, yeah, I forgot. Sorry, Jonah. Can you forgive me for prying?”
“Sure I can, little lady.” Jonah gave a wink, maybe to show there were no hard feelings.
He was a patient man and kind to her daughter. Debra couldn’t help seeing more to like in him. “Maybe it’s time to drag you out of here.”
“Mo-om.” Mia gave an impatient but indulgent sigh, as if to say it was hard raising a parent. “Uncle Ben just got here and everything, and besides, I still want to know about Jonah. So, can I pry just a little more?”
Debra bit her lip to keep from smiling and noticed both men in the background trying to do the same. And failing. Some days it was truly hard not to chuckle 24-7 when Mia was around. “She’s so like our mother, Ben. I know you have to be wondering about Mom. Well, she and Mia were so alike. Hardly different at all.”
Ben’s eyes silvered even as his smile broadened. Their mother’s smile. There it was again. “Then I know I would have loved her.”
Debra swallowed hard, determined to keep her emotions well controlled, just as emotions ought to be. “Mia, instead of peppering Jonah with personal questions, you might want to be gathering up all your favorite stories about Grandmother Millie to tell your uncle Ben this evening at dinner.”
“That’ll take a long time. I’ve got a lot of stories.”
Ben cleared his throat. “I’ll look forward to hearing them.”
Which was just the opportunity she was looking for—a chance to leave. Debra’s chest felt tight. So many painful emotions were beating right along with her heart and she still felt vulnerable. Her defenses were down. Way down. This wasn’t how she was used to feeling. She took a step backward. “Mia and I will meet you at the hotel’s dining room, then, and we’ll bring our best stories of Mom with us.”
“I’d like that.” Ben swallowed hard, emotions playing on his face.
This had to be hard for him, too, she realized. That she’d never considered his end of things before surprised her now. It just went to show how off-center she’d been, how jumbled up, wrestling with grief over their mom’s loss and so many past issues being dug up. Ben seemed like a strong, assured man, but maybe he had the same worries. How would this work out in the long run? Would they find a way to bond? Or would, in the end, this attempt to get to know one another not work out?
Ben had taken the first risky steps. Maybe she could make one, too. “I’m so glad you invited us to visit. I look forward to getting to know my older brother better.”
He dipped his chin in thanks and his throat worked. He said nothing, but Debra knew she’d done the right thing. While she didn’t know how this would all turn out, she suddenly wanted it to work out, not just for Mia, but for herself. Mia was right. They’d lost Mom and now it seemed they were being given a chance for more family to love.
Would this help to heal the pain in her own life? Debra had to wonder. Either way, she had to make sure she did her part in all this, for Mia’s sake. She could see beyond the girl’s excitement and hope right down to the pain she carried inside. The pain of her grandmother’s loss. Maybe this would help heal that, too.
“Tonight, then.” Debra nodded to her brother, taking another step back, and there was Jonah, once again, within her sight. “You’ll let me know about the furniture? I imagine you’ll need a deposit or you’ll have an invoice or something to that effect?”
“Ben has your number. I’ll have him get ahold of you.” The carpenter looked up from his work, frozen in motion. “I’ll write up an invoice so you’ll know the cost of things. I’ll draw up some plans, just to make sure Miss Mia gets exactly what she wants. Would you like that, little lady?”
“Oh, yes!”
Debra knew one thing—it was safer to take another step backward and another until she was at the door and far from Jonah. “Come now, Mia. We need to get ready for tonight and I’m sure your uncle and Mr. Fraser want to get back to their work.”
“But Mom, I’ve got the best idea.” Mia clasped her hands together. “Uncle Ben, would it be all right if Jonah came with us tonight?”
Ben gave her a friendly wink. “You don’t think I’ve already tried that? I asked him and he said no.”
To Debra’s horror, Mia bounded up to Jonah. “You’ll come, right? If you do, we’ll have the greatest time. Plus, my mom will have someone to talk to. She really needs that.”
What? Debra’s jaw dropped. What had her daughter just said?
If Jonah was uncomfortable before, he looked embarrassed now. A blush swept across his stony face, but his eyes when he answered looked infinitely sad. “Sorry, Mia. I have to say no.”
“But my mom—”
“Mia.” Debra hoped she sounded unaffected as she held out a hand for her daughter, but that wasn’t how she felt at all. Mortified, yes. Embarrassed, absolutely. And surprisingly intrigued. But that wasn’t a feeling she wanted to examine too closely. “Don’t traumatize poor Mr. Fraser any more. I’m sure he has better things to do than to be forced to talk with me through dinner.”
“But Mom—”
“No buts.” She smiled when her daughter clomped closer and took her hand, such a good girl at heart. “We should have time to stop by that bookstore you saw on our way back to the Inn.”
“Okay.” Mia didn’t look satisfied, but she apparently was willing to retreat a little bit for the moment. “’Bye, Uncle Ben and Jonah. See you later!”
The men called out their goodbyes and Debra gave them one last look before she headed outdoors. The chill of the December afternoon wrapped around her, but her face, by contrast, felt shockingly hot. As the door snapped shut and Mia hopped cheerfully through the snow to the SUV, Debra caught one last sight of Jonah, head bowed and kneeling before the cradle in that soft gray fall of light, already back to work.
She felt vulnerable, oddly open at heart, and she didn’t know why. Debra dug out her keys, resolved to put the man out of her thoughts and followed her daughter through the falling snow.
Inside the warm building kneeling before the crib, Jonah kept his head bowed over his work. But was he paying attention to what he was doing? No. He couldn’t seem to keep his gaze from the sight of Debra Cunningham Watson sweeping the mantle of snow off the windshield of her fancy vehicle.
“What do you think of that?” Ben asked with a smile in his voice.
Jonah didn’t look at him, but swung his attention back to his work. Ben didn’t sound as anxious as he had earlier. No, he sounded almost…amused. “Looks like you’ve got a real nice sister and niece.”
“I think so, too.” Ben gave a chuckle as he nodded toward the window. “Maybe you should come along tonight. I might need some help.”
So that’s what this was about. Jonah set down the square of sandpaper and straightened up. “Ben, don’t. You already know my answer.”
“True, but you can’t blame me for trying again. I know you, Jonah. Before you went off to right the world’s wrongs, you always used to talk about wanting a wife one day. A family.”
Jonah grimaced inside, remembering how idealistic he’d once been. “I was just out of boot. What did I know? I was young then.”
“Well. You went off, saved the world just like you wanted to. Now it’s time to work on those other dreams.”
“Not so easy, bud.” Jonah tried to act like it was no big deal, but his friend’s words made him bleed from a wound so deep, there was no measure of it. Ben had no idea what he’d said. Jonah cleared his throat, determined to make the best of it. After all, he had nothing to complain about, not really. Not when he was alive and well unlike—He stopped that thought. “These days, I’m a busy man and getting busier by the minute. I just got a huge order from that classy sister of yours. I’m making a bedroom set for your niece.”
“So that’s what all that invoice talk was about.”
“You think I’m interested in her?”
“It’s the Christmas season.” Ben seemed to dodge the question. “You never miss the tree lighting so you’ll be there anyway. You might as well come along with us tonight. Make an evening of it.”
“That’s your family time. I won’t intrude on that.”
“You’re practically part of the family.” Ben gestured to the window. “Besides, I’m not the only one who would like you to come along.”
There was Mia, sitting in the passenger seat, her hands clasped tightly together. Their gazes met and her eyes widened. There was no mistaking the single word she was saying. “Please, please, please, please.”
Ben chuckled. “I think she’s serious.”
“Sure looks like it.” Okay, so he was a little tempted to change his mind.
“You and Debra seemed to get along pretty well,” Ben said.
Debra. She wasn’t watching him as she backed her top-of-the-line SUV out of the parking spot. Hard to tell exactly what she thought of him, but he knew one thing. She was out of his league. Which was too bad. He liked her—then a powerful wave of old guilt crashed through him. He had no right to take that thought any further.
“Well, buddy, at least think about coming with us. Olivia will be disappointed, too. You don’t want to let down two little girls now, do you?”
“When you put it like that, you know I can’t.”
“I know.” Ben grinned and because his business cell phone chose that moment to ring, he answered it.
Debra’s SUV pulled into traffic and out of his sight, but the woman seemed to linger in his thoughts. Grimly, he went back to work, ignoring the sting of an emotion he would not admit or give name to.
Chapter Four
“I’m sorry you didn’t have a better time at dinner,” Debra said, tongue in cheek, to Mia as they drove through the nighttime residential streets of Chestnut Grove.
“I know!” If she hadn’t been held secure by the seat belt, Mia would have bounced out of the seat with happiness. “Aren’t you glad we came? I sure am! Dinner with our new family was great and it was so fun. Oh, look at that. It’s so cute!”
And so it went as Debra tried to keep Ben and Leah’s minivan in sight. The falling snow made it difficult and the streets as they approached the mayor’s mansion were increasingly busy. Debra halted at a crosswalk for a family of four to cross safely and lost sight of the van completely. While they waited for the happy-looking family to cross, Mia went on about the decorated houses and light displays and how Christmassy it was in this small town. That was, of course, when she wasn’t going on about the new members of their family.
Another family stepped into the crosswalk and she waited, the windshield wipers swiping on high speed at the furiously falling snow. Mia’s singsong voice, bright with joy, did add to this special evening. Her daughter was happy. That was all that mattered.
When there was both a break in the pedestrian traffic and a pause in her daughter’s monologue, Debra managed to get a word in. “The directions Leah gave me are in the glove compartment. Could you get them out please?”
“Sure. Didn’t we have the best time? I just love my new cousins. I knew I would! Baby Joseph is so sweet! They have a dog named Bear. I want to get a dog one day. And can you believe Olivia is a singer? She loves singing in the choir, too!”
“You were like two peas in a pod at dinner.”
“Can you believe it? I just love her. And Aunt Leah is so nice and pretty. Don’t you just love her, too?”
“It’s hard not to.” That was only the truth. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a pleasant meal with kinder people. Ben’s wife, Leah, was even nicer in person than she’d been in her letter and on the phone. Before the appetizers had been served, Debra had already felt comfortable with her new sister-in-law. And Ben and Leah’s children were as delightful as could be.
Nine-year-old Olivia and Mia had been instantly taken with one another and, although a few years separated them, they’d talked on and on about their new boots, which were a match, their schools, Olivia’s dog and the books they liked to read. They both loved music and singing and church. Ben and Leah’s baby, Joseph, was obviously well-loved and adorable with a wide baby grin and fine, fuzzy light brown hair.
“Here’s the directions!” Mia handed over the note from Leah and strained against her seat belt, trying to see all the decorated homes that lined the way. “Mom! Look! There’s an entire street all done up in lights. It’s perfect!”
Debra didn’t dare take her eyes from the road, so she couldn’t look to where her daughter was pointing. She held the directions against the steering wheel so she could watch the weather, the traffic, the pedestrians who were crowding along the sidewalks and crosswalks and follow Leah’s step-by-step instructions all at the same time.
“Oh, I want to drive down that way and see the street of lights. Can we? Please?”
“We can’t, not now. We’ll miss the ceremony that you so-oo wanted to see.” Debra imitated Mia’s cool, teenagery tone and they both laughed.
“I meant later, not now.” Mia rolled her eyes, but the wide smile remained on her sweet face.
Seeing her daughter so happy felt like an answered prayer. Did she dare hope that the worst of their recent conflicts was over? Debra spotted a space along the curb and hoped they’d be able to squeeze into it. She turned on her blinker and began to back into the spot.
“Mom! Mom! I can see the mayor’s mansion! See all those lights?”
“Not at the moment.” Amused, Debra straightened out the wheel and watched the mirrors carefully as the SUV came to a stop against the curb.
“But I can see our new family, too.” So much excitement. Mia escaped from her seat belt. “See? Don’t they look like a Christmas card with the way they are right in front of the lights?”
Debra gave the wheel a final turn, the front tire nudged the curb and she turned off the engine. As she squinted through the snow-flecked windshield, she didn’t notice the blaze of decorations that had Mia so enraptured.
No, her gaze went straight to the perfect family. The crowd, the storm and her worries faded as she watched her older brother—she still wasn’t used to saying that—with his family. He held his wife’s hand and as the two gazed at one another, the tender look and loving smile they shared was unmistakable. Theirs was a deeply loving and close marriage. Even from across the street and through the haze of snowfall, Debra could recognize that.
If she had any worries left about the kind of man Ben was, they melted like the snow on the windshield. He was the kind of man his family could trust. The kind of husband his wife could not only depend on, but turn to, always. Earlier, through their dinner at the hotel, Leah’s opinion of her husband was hard to miss. The trusting way she turned to him, the secret smiles they shared, the adoring way she watched him when he wasn’t looking—it wasn’t superficial. Even someone as jaded as she could see that Ben was a wonderful husband and father. One of the good ones.
Proof that there were a few good ones in the world.
“Mom!” Mia tumbled out of the SUV. “Look! There’s Jonah!”
Talk about another good one. Not that she was noticing. And to prove it to herself, she kept her eyes down, turned away, gathered her purse and her gloves and opened the door. The cold night air took her breath away. It couldn’t be the big, stoic man striding toward her with the crunch of ice beneath his boots. She closed the door and realized she’d left her keys in the ignition.
Way to go, Debra. Way to act unaffected. She grabbed the keys, aware of the man’s presence like the gravity on her feet. She was as aware, too, of the rumble of his baritone over the beat of her own heart. She closed the door, locked up and zipped the keys into the outside pocket on her handbag.
“Jonah, you came!” Mia clasped her hands together in pure delight. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew you would. But you should have had dinner with us. I had a chocolate-cookie cheesecake and it was the best ever!”
“I’m sorry I missed it.”
“Plus, then you could have talked with my mom.”
Jonah chuckled in that easy way of his. “I’m sure your lovely mother had plenty of people to talk to at the table, especially if you were there.”
Debra bit her lip, trying to keep from smiling, but it didn’t work. She pulled on her gloves and joined her daughter and the amicable Mr. Fraser on the sidewalk, trying to ignore the wash of peace she felt simply from being near to him.
Mia rolled her eyes, lighthearted. “Okay, okay, so I talk just a little too much.”
“Just a little?” Jonah gently teased.
Mia only seemed more delighted. “I know, sure, I talk too much. But I just have so much bubbling up from my spirit. My grandmother Millie used to say I’m like the sun shining, except I don’t shine, I talk.”
“Hey, I wasn’t complaining. Your grandmother must have been a very fine lady. You both must miss her a lot.”
Mia added sweetly and sadly all at once. “We really do.”
Debra watched, riveted by this man. “Mom would have loved being here, meeting her son, his family and his friends. She would have loved this town.”
“There’s a lot to love about it.” Jonah didn’t meet her gaze as they walked along. “It’s the reason I always come back.”
“You’ve lived in other places?” she found herself asking. Hadn’t she decided not to ask questions about this man?
“I’ve been around. I joined the marines for a few hitches. The greater good and all that.” His voice sounded light and dark all at once, but if that made him sad, he didn’t let it show. “But the old adage is true. There’s no place like home.”
The marines. It didn’t come as a big surprise. His being like a soldier had been her first impression of him. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d said he was Special Forces. He kept to the outside edge of the sidewalk protectively and it was an old-fashioned thing to do, gentlemanly.
Wasn’t she going to stop noticing all of Jonah’s fine attributes? She wasn’t the kind of woman who looked twice at men. And yet her gaze kept finding him in the half-shadows.
Mia chimed in. “That’s what I keep telling my mom. The Stanton School is not home and I don’t want it to be.”
Here we go again. Debra wasn’t sure what to do with her daughter’s stubborn streak. Once she decided something, she was like a speeding train on a track. “It’s a big adjustment to get used to living away from home. You have to give it time, Mia.”
“Wait one minute. Why the new bedroom set?” Jonah sounded surprised. “I thought you’d be using it.”
“Only when I’m home for a school break.” Mia sighed, greatly burdened, but beneath the bit of dramatics, there lurked an honest note of sorrow. “Mom and me are hardly together at all because I’m away from home. And now that Grandmother Millie’s gone, it’s like I’m a-loone.”
She’d never heard Mia say it quite that way before, and it made her heart ache. “I get lonely for you, too, kid.”
“I know.” Mia didn’t seem to doubt that. “I’m all miserable and stuff, but, hey, I gotta go because it’s tradition and it’s sooo important.”
Why hadn’t she ever heard the pain beneath her daughter’s sarcasm before this? It was Jonah. It was as if her inner defenses went down when he was near. With the shields around her heart nonoperational, she felt her daughter’s loneliness as sorely as her own. “We’ll talk about this later, Mia. This isn’t the time.”
“But—”
“Tradition is important.” Jonah spoke up. “I bet that’s an awful nice school you get to go to. Not everyone gets an educational opportunity like that.”
“I guess.” Mia was polite about it, but she clearly didn’t agree. “I just don’t like going away to school.”
“There are worse things in this world.”
Although he’d said the words simply, why did she feel the weight of his grief in them? It was Jonah. Being near to him made her vulnerable and oddly open at heart.
To make matters worse, Debra couldn’t help admiring the way Jonah was the first to step into the sidewalk, protectively checking traffic before she and Mia followed a half a step behind. It was a small thing, but a nice thing to do and it just went to show what a gentleman Jonah Fraser truly was.
Wasn’t she going to stop noticing all of Jonah’s fine attributes? It only proved how overworked and overstressed she was. She breathed in the fresh crisp air, felt the caress of snow against her face and smiled at the family who had stepped out of line to greet them.
Debra wished she’d worn earmuffs when Mia and Olivia ran toward each other with a few shrieks and giggles and joined hands, talking excitedly.
“I’m so glad for the girls.” Leah, with the baby cradled against her, smiled in that kind, lovely way of hers. “Look at the two of them. They’re like long-lost friends.”
“It’s wonderful,” Debra agreed, aware of Jonah as he and Ben exchanged pleasantries. “It’s just what Mia needed.”
“Olivia, too. I hope you and Mia can spend a lot more time with us before you have to head home.” Leah paused as the infant stirred. “I was hoping you might want to spend tomorrow afternoon with us. Maybe stay for dinner?”
“We would love to.” Debra truly meant that. She heard Jonah’s low rolling chuckle, and it was a warm cozy sound that seemed to chase the chill out of the wintry night. Since she wasn’t noticing Jonah Fraser at all, in the slightest, Debra kept her back turned to him and leaned to get a glimpse of the baby as he stretched and yawned. “He’s adorable. You are so lucky.”
“I’m greatly blessed and I know it.” Leah’s contented sigh said everything. “Two years ago I was alone and now look. I have my daughter back and my wonderful Ben. Joseph came along to add even more happiness. Now I have a new sister and niece and the rest of your family we have yet to meet. God is gracious, indeed.”
“That’s what my mother would always say.”
“I know I would have liked her.”
“She would have liked you right back.” Time was making the sorrow easier, but now and then it came fresh in waves. So many emotions tugged at her from different directions. The issues with Mia. Her unusual reaction to Jonah. Ben, and all the lies her mother had told her. And now this, seeing her little nephew, so sweet and dear, and wanting—Oh, everything she could not have. “You need to come to Baltimore and meet everyone there. I was hoping you could come stay for New Year’s.”
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