Bringing Emma Home
Bringing Emma Home
Stella MacLean
The family she’s always wanted…Becoming a mother means everything to Grace Fellowes. She and her husband Aidan are ready to adopt when they learn that Aidan is a father already. A tragic accident has left five-year-old Emma motherless and Grace with the devastating knowledge that her husband had an affair. Her heart and her trust are broken.Smart, loving, and full of life, the red-headed Emma is perfectly charming. She’s everything Grace has longed for – and a constant reminder of Aidan’s infidelity. But Emma needs a family and Aidan can’t abandon his daughter. This child could be the best thing that ever happened to her marriage – if Grace can learn to forgive.
The family she’s always wanted...
Becoming a mother means everything to Grace Fellowes. She and her husband, Aidan, are ready to adopt when they learn that Aidan is a father already. A tragic accident has left five-year-old Emma motherless and Grace with the devastating knowledge that her husband had an affair. Her heart and her trust are broken.
Smart, loving and full of life, redheaded Emma is perfectly charming. She’s everything Grace has longed for—and a constant reminder of Aidan’s infidelity. But Emma needs a family and Aidan can’t abandon his daughter. This child could be the best thing that ever happened to her marriage—if Grace can learn to forgive.
STELLA MACLEAN loves creating contemporary romances in which the characters find love and fulfillment while learning to live in the moment. She draws her story ideas from her life as a wife, mother, grandmother and friend, and from her professional background as a nurse and accountant. Stella loves to travel and spend time with friends, and she is an avid gardener, taking great pleasure from digging in the dirt and watching seeds she has planted add beauty and grace to her gardens.
Also By Stella MacLean
Life in Eden Harbor
The Doctor Returns
To Protect Her Son
Sweet on Peggy
Heart of My Heart
Baby in Her Arms
A Child Changes Everything
The Christmas Inn
Unexpected Attraction
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Bringing Emma Home
Stella MacLean
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08467-3
BRINGING EMMA HOME
© 2018 Ruth MacLean
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
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“Grace, Emma is my daughter. I can’t abandon her now that her mother is gone.”
“Aidan, you’re not being fair. How long have I waited to have a baby in my life, to share every bit of the experience with you? And now this...this child that will only serve to remind me every single day of my life that my husband has been unfaithful.” Grace balled her hands into fists. “You should have been honest with me.”
Aidan rushed to the side of the bed and knelt in front of her. “I should have. I know that. And I have no other explanation other than my own stupidity, my need to not have you angry at me. But now there is a child in our lives who just lost her mother, and who will be going through a terrible time. I can’t leave her to deal with that without me. I...I can’t.”
His eyes implored her to understand. “I realize that this is a lot for you to accept, but Emma needs me...needs us.”
Dear Reader (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53),
Writing to you at this moment in time is both pleasant and sad. As some of you may know, the Harlequin Superromance line will be ending June 2018. Working for Harlequin has been a dream come true for me. It’s been a wonderful experience to bring my characters to life with the help of the Harlequin editors in Toronto.
As I wrote this book, I was reminded of how easily life can change and how much of our lives are affected by the actions and thoughts of others. This is particularly true for Grace and Aidan Fellowes, deeply in love and happily married until an event outside their day-to-day lives changes everything. This story is not only about a couple’s commitment to their marriage, but also about the importance of empathy. If Aidan and Grace hadn’t been able to empathize with each other, and with Emma, the little girl who entered their lives, the story would have been over before it began. Empathy, whether for your spouse, a friend or a colleague, is the key ingredient needed to strengthen relationships and the first step in acceptance of a situation beyond our control.
It is with fond memories and an open heart that I offer you Bringing Emma Home.
I love to hear from my readers. I can be reached on Twitter, @Stella_MacLean (https://twitter.com/stella__maclean), on Facebook at Facebook.com/StellaMacleanRomanceAuthor (https://Facebook.com/StellaMacleanRomanceAuthor) or through my website at StellaMaclean.com (http://www.stellamaclean.com).
Sincerely,
Stella MacLean
This book is dedicated to those in a marriage who have faced challenges in their relationship and found the courage and determination to work through those challenges to a deeper, more committed relationship. You are the real heroes.
Contents
Cover (#u04b98aab-3c8b-52ae-a095-3c99ca35238a)
Back Cover Text (#u476a4e76-0c93-5149-8343-497b82124046)
About the Author (#uf397a4cf-c68a-5ce8-a233-0676861d3bff)
Booklist (#uc87abd0a-d068-5635-9e17-2eb11053e1f0)
Title Page (#u4313d314-c926-5e75-a149-e85b5218eeae)
Copyright (#u4623e9c7-adff-5576-9606-c6579cb75b8a)
Introduction (#uca0a9cc0-7612-5242-a372-3f9adc805bc0)
Dear Reader (#u12bbd747-ea81-5231-ba24-31a301f0d683)
Dedication (#ue3118808-53ed-559b-99fd-fa17dea15406)
CHAPTER ONE (#u0e221e81-34ed-59c5-8fca-2c4d4339f10f)
CHAPTER TWO (#ufd773c8f-bd07-528e-bb5e-170eb418b720)
CHAPTER THREE (#u4106bc31-6b48-596e-bce6-66e799bcbbc1)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u0b1265e0-209a-5507-8766-4d32a63b25ab)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
GRACE FELLOWES REMEMBERED the exact moment her life changed forever. She’d been sitting in her high-school math class trying to work on a calculus problem when Aidan Fellowes slid into the desk next to her and smiled that smile of his that made her heart lift and turn over in her chest. She remembered feeling light-headed and dizzy, his smile fueling her breathlessness.
She tried not to blush—not a cool thing to do. Yet every bone in her body, every part of her being was alive to him, to the way his eyes focused on her and the way her body warmed, despite the fact he hadn’t touched her.
She remembered when their eyes met, when he took the pencil from her fingers and showed her how to solve the problem. She remembered the fall leaves raining down around them, offering a crackling melody under their feet as they crossed the school parking lot to his Jeep. As they reached his vehicle, he took her hand, and from that moment, there was no one else for her but him.
Now, sitting in their bedroom in a solitary wingback chair, with the beginning tendrils of early light slipping around the bedroom drapes, her love for her husband was even stronger than it had been eighteen years ago when they first met. Glancing across the room to where Aidan lay sprawled on the bed, her gaze followed the line of his cheek as he slept, the easy movement of his chest as he breathed deeply, and she considered climbing back into bed with him.
Her fingers trembled as they traced the edge of her wedding band and diamond solitaire while the anxious ache brought on by the past held her in the chair, unable to go to him. They had been married for ten years and really focused on getting pregnant for nearly seven years, which meant that Aidan had left a lot of the out-of-town travel to visit clients to her brother, Lucas Barton. They were partners in a computer engineering firm they’d started when they’d both graduated from university.
Yet despite the sacrifices, despite how hard she and Aidan had tried, how much testing they’d gone through, she had to face the fact that she would not give birth to a baby she could hold and love with all her heart.
As their last failed chance to have a baby of their own crushed her dream of becoming pregnant, she finally decided to broach the topic of adopting a baby. Last night she’d cooked Aidan’s favorite meal—shrimp and grits—and made his favorite dessert, chocolate cake. She’d spent days preparing the meal and rehearsing what she’d say.
She’d been so excited after dinner, unable to stop repeating the story of Cecilia and Dave, her friends, and their new baby boy, James Patrick Adair. When she mentioned that she’d put a call in to the same adoption lawyer their friends used, she’d waited for Aidan to respond, to say anything that gave her hope he might be willing to adopt. He hadn’t.
Later, when they’d gone to bed, Aidan had turned away from her, leaving her disappointed and feeling completely alone. More than anything, she’d wanted him to hold her, to tell her that they would see the lawyer about an adoption as soon as his schedule allowed. She would have gladly accepted his need to put off that appointment for a bit because of his busy work life. She would even have accepted his asking to think about it awhile, plan for the changes adoption might mean. Anything to feel that there was still a chance for a baby to complete their life together.
What hurt even more was that he hadn’t made love to her, hadn’t tried to soothe her feelings of emptiness. Back when they were trying so desperately to get pregnant, their lovemaking had become more mandatory than spontaneous. But since they’d stopped trying, they’d rediscovered the joy of making love in their king-size bed.
She glanced around the room, remembering how happy she’d been when they bought this home with its four bedrooms—bedrooms she’d hoped to fill with their children. Her gaze returned to Aidan’s face, relaxed in sleep, and she felt even more determined to encourage him to talk about adoption.
He stirred and her heart soared. She rose and went to the bed, sat beside him, soaking in his scent, smoothing the tufts of his glossy auburn hair mussed by the pillow. “Are you awake?” she whispered.
“Hmm.” He reached up, his fingers trailing through her blond hair, tantalizing her with his touch, the feel of his skin on hers, the very presence of him filling her with joy.
He moved the sheets back, his arm reaching out to surround her. “Get in here, woman. I’m not ready to get up just yet, and you don’t need to sit in the cool air,” he said, his voice deep, his smoldering look banishing everything but her need for him.
She snuggled in, pulling the sheet over her half-naked body. “What were you doing up so early?” he asked, kissing her chin, his hands smoothing the hair from her face. “You’re not up checking your temperature, are you?” He gave her an inquiring glance. “I thought we were done with that.” He pushed a pillow under his shoulders, pulling her tighter into his embrace and kissing her, a long, slow kiss that melted every bone in her body.
“We are,” she said, her throat feeling blocked while the memories played around her mind—the hope, the effort, the beautifully decorated nursery, the agony of loss...all of it for nothing. What should have been happy, wonderful years of starting a family had become the most desolate time of her life.
He tucked her close to his side, his lips brushing her forehead. “This is hard for you, and for me, but the doctors had to tell us the truth. We have to accept that. We’ve got to move on.”
“I know. But weren’t you excited about my news last night?” she asked, stroking his chin, watching to see how he’d respond. Maybe after a night’s sleep he was ready to talk about when they could see the adoption lawyer.
He sighed. “We need to really think about this a little more. After what we’ve been through, it’s a huge decision.”
“I realize that.” She continued to gently touch his face, feeling the light stubble there. He didn’t pull away as he had last night. “But the adoption lawyer has made such a big difference in Cecilia and Dave’s life. I want to talk to him. I decided to call his office to see if we could get an appointment...if you’re willing to go with me.”
“What was his name again?”
“Sterling Martin. I told you all of this last night,” she said, feeling frustrated but trying to hide it. “His office is just off King Street. He specializes in private adoptions. Cecilia and Dave are so happy with their new baby. James P is such a perfect child.”
Aidan’s fingers trailed along her collarbone, something he did whenever they talked about having a child. “Honey, I know how important this is to you. To us. But just this once, can we wake up and think about something else? Like maybe a vacation to Europe. We always said we wanted to go. Remember? All those times we watched our friends take off on vacation to some place interesting while we stayed home because of your worries about what could happen if you conceived while we were out of the country.”
His words stung. She understood his feelings and, at times, had shared them. But he didn’t understand how much she needed a baby. Her arms ached every time one of her friends had a baby. Then, when Cecilia and Dave had adopted, Grace finally felt hopeful over the possibility she and Aidan might, too. He simply needed more time to think about it, and she was willing to wait. “Sure. Why don’t I make breakfast for us? I promise not to talk about adoption.”
“That’s my girl. All I really want to do is spend time with you. Just you. Would that be okay?”
“I would love that,” she said, recognizing the expression on his face. He wasn’t going to talk about a child right now. It was up to her to accept that and have a pleasant breakfast with him. But that didn’t mean she was giving up. Not a chance.
Suddenly, she brightened. She knew what she’d do. She would invite Cecilia and Dave to dinner, maybe a good Southern barbecue evening. Cecilia’s praise for Sterling Martin would carry more sway than anything Grace herself could say at this point. Aiden had a great deal of respect for Cecilia, one of the computer engineers in his firm.
He rubbed her shoulder, his fingers circling the skin over her collarbone—a clear sign that Aidan had something on his mind, something he wasn’t ready to share with her. “What is it, honey?”
He sighed. “Just thinking that it would be nice if you came with me today. I have a client I have to see in downtown Charleston. But I want you with me.” He held her closer, running his lips along her hairline, driving her crazy with need. “Once I’m finished, we could have lunch, take a carriage ride around historic Charleston, buy something for your garden at one of the stalls at the market. We’ve often talked about going into the city and spending time wandering the shops. Why don’t we do it today? I want you with me,” he repeated slowly, his gaze searching her face, coming to rest on her lips.
“Oh, Aidan, I want that, too, but I promised Cecilia that we’d meet for lunch.” She looked into his hazel-green eyes, seeing the disappointment. Trying to soften the blow, she whispered, “I wish you’d come by and see this little baby. You will not be able to resist him.”
* * *
THE OLD GUILT swirled around Aidan’s mind. He didn’t want to talk about babies or adoption or anything related to that today. He wanted his wife to pay attention to him and only him, to focus on their relationship. That was all he’d wanted for the past seven years: her undivided attention on him and their love for each other. Was that so much to ask?
He’d done everything she wanted, raced home when she called him, tried to console her when each attempt to conceive failed. But at times it hardly seemed worth it. Their marriage had become a marathon of waiting, hoping and frantic lovemaking, all to try to have a baby.
He didn’t want to remember the one time he’d slipped up, but that weekend entered his mind, as it had a few minutes ago. It had happened five years ago and was long over. He’d hooked up with a woman, a client whose business was in Spartanburg. He’d never heard from her again after that one weekend, and didn’t intend to renew any contact. All the same, he felt guilty about how much he had enjoyed having a woman’s attention focused solely on him. He scrubbed his face with his hands to hide the memory of how that weekend had felt. Sighing, he turned to Grace. “Are you sure you can’t come with me?”
“I’d have to call and cancel lunch with Cecilia, and I want to see James again.” Grace sighed as she snuggled closer to him.
He soaked in her smile, felt the old pull of attraction that had been there between them since the day they’d met in high school.
His eyes focused on hers, he saw the glint of desire there, and his mind raced over the possibilities. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman, a wife. There had to be some way to convince her to come to Charleston with him. “Why don’t I book a suite at the Planters Inn? We could go out to dinner, or order room service, a bottle of wine...just the two of us. We haven’t stayed downtown in Charleston in years. What do you say?”
“A night in Charleston?” she asked.
“Or two nights, if you’d like. Beautiful surroundings, all the amenities. Think fluffy robes, nothing on under them. Pure luxury in a suite all to ourselves. Me reaching for you,” he whispered in her ear, hearing her breath quicken as his body hardened.
He kissed her lips, felt her body curve into his. His blood hot, his body arching toward hers, he felt her immediate response as if it was imprinted into his consciousness.
“I would do anything for you, Aidan Caldwell Fellowes,” she said, her lips on his throat, her breath searing his skin.
“And me for you,” he whispered, pulling her under him as his lips sought the soft skin between her breasts.
Her quick intake of breath was all he needed. He continued to kiss her skin, moving his tongue along the space between her breasts. “If you come with me to Charleston, I promise you the best time you’ve ever had, Mrs. Fellowes.” He raised his gaze to hers. “You will not regret a minute of the time you spend with me.”
She sighed, her hands stroking his face, her skin flushed pink.
He eased his hands over her tummy, down along her hips, hugging her body against his. “What do you say?”
She looked deep into his eyes, her lips parted, her hair spread across the pillow. “You never cease to amaze me, Aidan,” she whispered, her fingers continuing their course over his cheek, down his neck.
“How so?” he asked, loving this game, this moment when she would succumb to him. It had always been that way. He would entice her with something, a dinner out, a trip, a night in, just the two of them. Until recently, Grace had always gone along with his plans. And now, with the whole issue of a baby settled, he wanted them to go back to the beginning, back to the way things were.
“I agree we need to get away, time to ourselves. It would be really nice to spend a couple days in Charleston. You win, my love. I’ll cancel my lunch date.”
He kissed her, cradling her head in his hands. “Thank you. You won’t regret going with me. Besides, how can you resist the chance to have me all to yourself?” he teased, aware of the times he’d wanted her to go away with him when he’d be gone for days without her, and she’d remained at home, either for a doctor’s appointment, redecorating the baby’s room or a quilting event.
“Aidan, I love you,” she whispered as her body writhed under his caress, a groan of pleasure escaping her lips.
“And I love you,” he murmured against her skin.
Two hours later, he and Grace arrived in Charleston. “Why don’t I drop you somewhere along King Street, give you a little time to shop? And before you say anything about the cost, I want you to buy whatever you want. Promise me you’ll do that,” he said.
She smiled at him, her body still humming from the time they’d spent in bed making love. It was as if everything that had stood between them, all the pain and uncertainty of the past few years, had slipped away. It was as if they were back to the way they’d been when they first got married.
Aidan was so right about what they needed—the time together without anyone interfering. She smiled at the memory of those early morning hours. As they’d packed to leave, joking and talking with each other the way they once had, she was certain they would work everything out.
She was confident that this trip was meant to be. The next couple of days together would work its magic on them. She’d never stayed at the Planters Inn, but she’d heard about it from a friend who had spent her wedding night in one of its beautiful suites. Grace had helped her plan her big day and had seen the photos of the inn, all gold and cream with deep hues of blue and roses everywhere. She couldn’t imagine a more perfect place for a getaway. “I promise to buy whatever I see that I like,” she offered, stroking his arm.
“Perfect. I’ll call you the second I’m out of my meeting and we’ll go for a late lunch,” he said, navigating the tight lanes of traffic leading toward Broad Street, the hallmark of Charleston civility.
“I wish we’d planned to do this with Lucas and Maria. She’s such a great shopper, and we always have a good time together. I was never so happy as when Lucas arrived back from a business trip to Spartanburg to tell me he’d met the woman of his dreams. Do you think they’ll get married? I mean, Lucas talks about her all the time, and I want him to be as happy as we are.”
“Lucas and Maria are not on my mind at all. They have their life and we have ours,” he said, his gaze direct, a small furrow forming between his eyes as he turned to her. “All I want is to let the world go away and you and I focus on us,” he said as he maneuvered the large SUV into a narrow parking spot.
“Okay. No more talk about anyone or anything but us,” she said. She didn’t want anything to ruin their minivacation. Reaching across the wide console, she squeezed his hand where it rested on the steering wheel. “I can’t wait for you to be finished. You’re right. We need to get away. Starting today, we’ll plan to do something like this once a month. We deserve time alone together, don’t we?”
“Exactly. Why can’t we just take off, act like a pair of teenagers in love? The way we used to do,” he said, his smile intimate, wrapping around her, signaling that whatever was bothering him had gone.
She kissed him quickly. “After I’m done shopping, I’ll call a cab and go to the inn. I’ll check in and be waiting for you. Just for you, I’m going to buy something really sexy to wear tonight.” She kissed him again before she reached for the door handle. “You’d better be ready,” she teased, seeing the love in his eyes. Her body tingled. “I’ll order a bottle of champagne.”
He pulled her to him and kissed her, his mouth moving over hers in a way that made her weak with desire. “I can’t wait, woman.” His smile radiated happiness as his lips brushed hers. “I’ll see you later. We’ll order room service and you can model your latest purchase...before I remove it.”
* * *
FIVE HOURS LATER, Aidan lay sprawled on the bed, Grace in his arms, the sheets crumpled around them, his need for her completely sated.
“You are the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, his throat filled with emotion as unexpected tears tingled behind his lids. He hadn’t felt this way for a very long time. He’d come to the inn and been met at the door of their suite by his wife dressed in a skimpy lace item that covered just enough and hinted at a lot more. He’d fallen into bed with her, and they’d had the best afternoon of lovemaking he could remember.
Slowly he kissed her lips, his fingers caressing her cheek. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
She returned his kiss. “I love you, too, so much,” she whispered, her gaze on him and only him.
“I’ve missed this,” he said, his heart filled to overflowing.
“What do you mean?” She toyed with the hair on his chest.
“The way we made love, the closeness, the sheer excitement of simply enjoying each other.”
She pulled back a little. “But we’ve always—”
He placed his fingers gently over her lips to silence her. “Not like this. Not with this intensity and simply for the sheer pleasure of being with each other.”
Her gaze never left his face, and he saw the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.
“I don’t mean to say we haven’t made love to each other these past years, but there was always the other—”
“We’ve been over this before,” she said, her voice soft with a tinge of hurt.
Aidan wished he’d said nothing. “I’m sorry. This has been fantastic, and I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just that I feel like I have you back. The Grace I married and have loved for so long. That’s all I meant. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Me, too,” she said, her voice wistful.
“Then let’s not think about anything other than ourselves for the next two days. If I have my way, we won’t leave this room. We won’t need to.” He leaned up on one elbow and smiled at her. “I don’t ever want to leave this bed, but I am a little hungry. Why don’t I order room service? Another bottle of champagne, even?” He winked at her.
Grace chuckled. “You think you’ll get me a little tipsy and have your way with me again?”
“I’ve already had my way with you. Or did I leave such a poor impression that you didn’t notice?” he asked, kissing her again, feeling the heat rise, the tremble of her lips against his.
“I noticed,” she whispered, her hands moving over his chest, feeding his desire.
He held her close, his mouth claiming hers, his hands spreading across her back, moving down her body, her answering intake of breath music to his ears. “Yes,” he whispered against her lips. “We will put food on hold for a while longer—”
The chime of his cell phone startled him. “What was that?”
“I thought you turned your phone off,” she said leaning across him, her breasts skimming his chest. “I’ll do it for you. No more interruptions.”
He let her slide across him, enjoying the feel of her body on his. “Whoever is calling can wait.”
Grace picked up the phone and turned it off. “There. You don’t know how much pleasure I get from turning off your phone. Do you realize that it’s always on? That we’re always at the mercy of that piece of plastic?” she asked, sliding her body down his, making his breath quicken as her fingers trembled over his heated skin.
“You can turn my phone off anytime, Mrs. Fellowes, if this is what you intend to do while it’s off,” he said, his hands reaching for her shoulders, his body arching toward hers.
“This and a whole lot more,” she murmured as her gaze met his, the love in her eyes fueling his need for her. He stretched out in the bed, luxuriating in her touch, anticipating every move her body made along his.
The room phone blared.
Grace sighed and shifted to lie next to him. “What is going on?”
“It must be important, or maybe it’s the inn wondering if we need anything. Either way,” he said, reaching for the sleek black phone on the bedside table, “I’ll take care of it and we can get back to...” He looked into her eyes, saw her excitement and almost didn’t pick up the phone. “I’ll get this over as fast as I can.”
He grabbed the phone.
“Aidan, it’s Nancy. Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve had an urgent call from a lawyer in Spartanburg. He insists on talking to you now. He’s on the other line to be transferred to you.”
“Did he say what he wanted?”
“No. Just that he needed to talk to you as soon as possible. There seems to be some sort of emergency.”
He exchanged surprised glances with Grace. “But Lucas looks after our clients in Spartanburg. Did you tell him that?”
“I did, but he said it’s a personal matter, that he needs to speak to you directly.”
“Okay, put him on,” Aidan said with a sigh, pulling Grace closer as he settled in to hear what the man had to say.
“Hello, is this Aidan Fellowes?” a deep, gruff voice inquired.
“It is. What is so urgent that you need to speak to me today? I’ll be back in the office on Monday and we can talk then.”
“I’m afraid that won’t work. I have to ask you a few questions,” the man said.
“Who is this?” Aidan said, annoyed at the man’s presumption that he could dictate to him.
The phone was silent for a few moments. “It’s Larry Knowles. I’m the attorney for Deidre MacPherson.”
“I’m sorry,” Aidan said, his mind scrambling over the possibilities. Deidre had never attempted to contact him after their long-ago weekend together. “Why are you calling me? I have no connection to that person.”
“Ms. MacPherson was killed in an automobile accident on Thursday. According to her will, you are sole beneficiary of her estate with the proviso that you become the legal guardian of her daughter, Emma.”
Aidan swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. “You’ve got the wrong person. This is a mistake.”
“Not according to what I’m reading here.” He could hear the rustle of pages and a short pause. “She states that you are Emma’s father. She wants you to be her daughter’s guardian and to adopt her as soon as possible. When you do, you will receive the total of her estate worth over five million dollars. Her will is very clear on this point. Did you have no idea that she’d done this?”
It wasn’t possible. He couldn’t be the father of Deidre’s child. They’d spent a weekend together. Nothing more. He’d tried unsuccessfully for years to get his wife pregnant. What was the likelihood that he’d fathered a child with another woman?
This story had to be a lie. Obviously, Deidre had decided to make him responsible for a child he’d never met and couldn’t possibly have fathered. He took a deep breath. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think this conversation has gone far enough,” he said forcefully, his eyes meeting Grace’s anxious expression as she snuggled under his arm, the gentle touch of her hand offering him her support.
“No. It hasn’t. Not until you agree...” More paper shuffling. “I have here a document, a DNA test that Ms. MacPherson had done on her child and you. You are the father of Emma Leigh MacPherson. We need to talk. When can you be in Spartanburg, Mr. Fellowes?”
“There has to be a mistake. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aidan said, the lie slipping so easily off his tongue.
Aidan’s stomach rose against his chest as his mind raced over the words this man had spoken. Something was wrong. This couldn’t be happening. It had been years ago, another lifetime, and none of it had meant anything to him. Grace knew nothing about that weekend, had never questioned any of his business trips.
His wife was a Christian who believed that the truth was a guiding principle in life. He believed it, too. He hadn’t wanted to lie to her about that weekend, and so had pleaded a heavy workload in Spartanburg.
He didn’t want to lie to her now, but he had no choice. If she found out that he’d fathered a child while they were trying to get pregnant, she would be devastated. He had no doubt that she would leave him. He couldn’t let that happen. Not over a mistake he had always regretted.
It had nothing to do with their life now. Grace’s happiness meant everything to him. He glanced furtively at his wife, seeing a look of confusion on her face, wishing he could end the call and it would all simply go away.
“What is going on?” she asked, sitting up straighter, slipping away from his side.
He had to do something to save the situation before he was forced to use words that would cause Grace to be suspicious. “Look, Mr. Knowles. We can discuss this on Monday. I’m sure there is some misunderstanding. We’ll clear it up then.”
“That won’t work. This child, your daughter, is living with her nanny, but arrangements need to be made for her. There is no immediate family, and if you don’t take the little girl, other arrangements will have to be made. I need to see you tomorrow. I’ll be in my office. What time can you be here?”
“I can’t drop everything just because you want to meet,” Aidan said, trying to make sense of this, but even more, trying to absorb that he was supposedly the father of a child he’d never known existed.
He scrubbed his face in disbelief. If this proved to be true, how was he going to tell Grace? He pressed the bridge of his nose, concentrating on regaining control of the situation. Whatever was going on with this Mr. Knowles, he would not let it spill over into his life with Grace.
CHAPTER TWO (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
AT THE SUDDEN change in Aidan’s voice, a chill ran through Grace. Something was horribly, terribly wrong. She’d never seen Aidan look so awful, so confused and uncertain, in all the years she’d known him. “Honey, what is it?”
Grace watched his anxious expression as fear wrapped around her heart, blocking the air from her lungs. Had someone been hurt? Was it a friend? Someone at work? Lucas? Her body quaked at the thought. It couldn’t be her brother, could it? The way Aidan’s gaze moved around the room, never connecting with hers, was terrifying. Unable to help herself, she reached up to put her arms around his shoulders, needing to learn more with each passing minute. “What is going on, Aidan? What is it?”
Clutching the phone tighter to his ear, he turned away from her. “If you insist, I will be there tomorrow afternoon. Not a minute before. Whatever is going on here, I’m as anxious as you to get to the bottom of this.”
Relief whistled through her at his words, the strict business tone he used. From what he said, it was clear that no one was hurt or in trouble, at least, no one she knew. Yet the soft light from the window exposed the pallor of Aidan’s skin. “What’s wrong?” she whispered urgently.
“It’s nothing, a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up, that’s all,” he said, hanging up.
“What sort of misunderstanding?” she asked, as her nails bit into his shoulders.
“Someone died and I’m needed in Spartanburg tomorrow.” His tone was matter-of-fact, his expression grim, adding to her concern. She’d never known Aidan to respond to someone’s death with such anger. It was as if he didn’t believe what he’d been told.
“That’s awful. I’m sorry. But why did they call you? If it’s about business, why didn’t they call Lucas?”
He shook his head, still holding the phone as he rose from the bed and went to the window.
Grace went to him, wanting to comfort him. Taking his hand, she said, “Whatever is going on, I want to be there with you. Tell me who died.”
“It’s someone...I knew... A client.”
“Someone you knew? In Spartanburg?”
Aidan turned away, moving closer to the heavily draped window, his shoulders slumped.
She waited. He didn’t turn back to her, seek her out the way he did when something was bothering him. He’d been like that since the day they’d met. She could always rely on him to share his thoughts, whatever they were, good or bad.
“That was a call informing me about the death of Deidre MacPherson, the CEO of one of our major clients in Spartanburg. It seems I’m needed there urgently. Tomorrow at the latest.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. The only sound in the room was that of his long, agitated sigh as he placed the phone on the table, staring at it as if it had bitten him.
The set of his shoulders, the way he didn’t seem to see her or even be aware of her, made Grace realize that, for the first time in their marriage, he was lying to her. He was keeping something from her or he wouldn’t be so evasive. He’d hidden things from her before, like a surprise birthday party or when he gave her diamond earrings on their tenth anniversary. But they were surprises, not lies.
And this was a lie. She didn’t understand how she knew it was a lie. She’d never been suspicious of Aidan, had always trusted him completely. But now it was clear that there was something he was concealing, something so important to him that he was willing to lie to her about it. Her stomach lurched. “Aidan, what is going on? I’m your wife. You owe me an explanation.”
“That was her lawyer. He needs to talk to me.” Aidan glanced around, spotted his underwear and awkwardly pulled them on, all the while never once glancing in her direction.
“About what? And why you?” she insisted, though her heart pounded so hard in her ears she could barely hear.
“That woman, the one who died...” He searched the room for his shirt and pants. “She left her entire estate to me.”
“Why? Why would a woman leave you her money?”
“Because—” Aidan grabbed his clothes and got dressed hurriedly. “Because she’s crazy. She claims that she had a child. That the child is mine. I haven’t seen her in five years. I have no idea why she thinks her child is mine.” His look when he met her eyes was one of agony and despair.
Grace couldn’t breathe. She reached out to the drapes to support her as her knees began to buckle. His words cascaded over her, blocking her thoughts, filling her with disbelief and panic. A strangled cry emerged. “What are you talking about?” There had to be a mistake. Aidan and she couldn’t have children. All the testing proved that. She searched his face, seeking some sort of denial from him. “Tell me this isn’t true. This can’t be true. You can’t have a baby.”
“Grace, you need to sit down,” he said as he came to her, pulled her into his arms and led her to the sofa near the fireplace. “Let me try to explain what I believe is going on.”
“Did you have an affair with her?” she asked, her body shaking at the enormity of it all. Aidan in another woman’s bed. Aidan making love to another woman, his hands, his body on hers. The intimacy of the act, the love he was capable of making to Grace offered to another woman. “Tell me the truth!” she demanded, feeling sick to her stomach with anguish.
“Grace! I’m sorry. Really sorry.” He went down on one knee in front of her, his eyes pleading, his voice filled with remorse.
“Five years ago?” She heard a scream and realized it was hers. “You had an affair five years ago when we were trying to have a baby?”
“Not an affair. Not really.” He scrubbed his face with hands that shook. “You and I were going through a rough time.”
Her mind fumbled over his words. Her husband, the man she loved, had had an affair with another woman. He’d broken a solemn vow to her, one he’d taken before God. This couldn’t be true. But hadn’t he just admitted to it? “When? When did you do this?”
“I... Back when I managed our clients in Spartanburg. Before Lucas took over.”
“Is that why Lucas started going there? Is he aware of what is going on?”
“No. No one knows. It was just one weekend, and I’ve regretted it ever since.” He stared at the ceiling, then back at her. “I’ve never regretted anything more in my whole life.”
There were tears in his eyes, but it didn’t matter. No amount of tears could change what he’d just admitted to. “Regretted it,” she echoed. “You had sex with her and you regretted it.” She struggled to sort out her thoughts. This was all wrong.
“I swear I did not know she had a child. And I know it isn’t mine. I wouldn’t...couldn’t.”
“Stop! You just admitted to having sex with a woman who had a child. Your child.”
“No! Not my child!”
“You lied to me all this time. I didn’t lie to you. But you sure as hell lied to me. You had an affair with another woman.” She pounded his chest, grabbed his hair and pulled as hard as she could. “You destroyed everything!”
He winced. His eyes didn’t leave her face. “Grace, please stop. I don’t want to upset you.” He touched her bare leg.
“Upset me,” she seethed. “You’ve more than upset me, you bastard.” Suddenly she became aware that she was naked. Desperately wanting to cover herself, to feel whole and in control, she pushed his hand off her. “Get out of my way, Aidan. I’m getting dressed and getting out of here.”
“Grace. No. Don’t leave. Please let me try to explain. I realize that this is a huge shock for you. It’s a shock to me, as well.” Aidan reached for her again, but she pushed him away as she got off the sofa and moved across the room.
“A shock to you? Really?” she said, feeling the bitterness like a flush of acid seeping through her mind. Everything she loved and cherished had been swept from her life by his awful words.
He followed her as she moved around the room, gathering up her things. “I didn’t mean it that way. I mean getting the call and not knowing what was happening—” He lowered his head. “I’ve totally screwed up.”
For a fraction of a second, she almost went to him, to console him the way she always had.
But those days were dead and gone. She couldn’t let him touch her when she knew that he’d had an affair with another woman, and had lied to her about something so personal, so destructive that she would never trust him again. “If this is not your child, a DNA test will prove you’re not the father, won’t it?”
His expression filled with anguish, he glanced away.
Angry and disbelieving, Grace tried to remain calm. Struggling to get into her skimpy sundress and high heels, she hopped on one foot as she fastened her watch on her wrist. It seemed to be taking forever to get dressed. She just wanted to get out of here as soon as she could, away from the man who had destroyed her world.
A man, she now realized, she didn’t really know at all. “This woman you had sex with had the DNA test done, didn’t she?” She pointed at the phone, her voice rising. “That man. That lawyer wouldn’t be calling you if there wasn’t proof that you are the father of this woman’s child.”
“He says he has DNA proof. But I don’t believe it. We, you and I, can’t have children, and so this has to be some sort of awful mistake.”
Grace struggled to put on her earrings and finally gave up, throwing them on the floor. Aidan grabbed them from where they landed on the plush cream carpet. “I gave these to you,” he said, in a disbelieving tone. “They’re your favorites.”
“I don’t want jewelry bought out of guilt,” she said, striding into the bathroom. She combed her fingers through her hair, applied a little blush and gathered her cosmetics bag. She may just have been totally humiliated by her husband, but she was a Southern woman, and she would not leave the suite without looking in control and in charge.
In the bedroom, she shoved the remainder of her things into her suitcase. So many thoughts were crashing around her mind, each delivering yet another blow to her self-esteem. Her husband had had an affair and a child by another woman. “If this is true, it means that I’m the one who can’t have children, doesn’t it?”
“Grace, we’ve been over this dozens of times before. The doctors told us it was no one’s fault that we couldn’t have children. That some people simply can’t conceive. Please don’t do this.”
“I have no choice. I’ve waited our entire marriage for a baby, and now I learn that you are a father.”
“Grace, honey, I recognize this is hard for you. I wish I didn’t have to bring it up,” he said, his head lowered, his expression downcast.
“But you did and now I have to deal with it. How could you do this? To cheat on me, on us, is unbearable. And the fact that you didn’t recognize how hard this would be for me, to know you had a child when I couldn’t. You have destroyed everything.”
“Please, Grace, don’t say that. It’s not over between us. It can’t be. We love each other. I’ve hurt you and I will make it up to you somehow. I should have told you about the weekend with Deidre, but I didn’t want to hurt you over nothing. And it was nothing. Just a mindless fling because I was feeling so isolated and alone in our marriage. But that’s no excuse. I broke the promise I made to you. Please understand I never meant to hurt you. You, of all people. I love you, Grace.” His face was ashen, his eyes pleading.
“A mindless mistake showing your total disrespect for me, for our marriage, and I’m to believe that it’s as simple as you making a mistake? How stupid do you think I am?”
“I don’t think you’re stupid. I’m the stupid one for ever having anything to do with the woman.” Aidan stood still, misery an almost tangible aura around him.
“Well, it’s too late now. You can’t go back and undo what you did. And because of what you did, there is a child and you’re the father. Is it a girl or a boy?” she asked, feeling nothing, as if her body were floating off somewhere, that none of this was real.
“It’s a girl,” he said, his voice flat, as if the realization hadn’t yet dawned on him that he was a father.
“How old is she?” Grace demanded.
Aidan glanced around the room his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “I guess she’d be four or so.”
“What do you intend to do about her?” Grace asked.
Aidan gave a long sigh. “I don’t know. I figured it would get cleared up tomorrow.”
“If you’re so sure the child is not yours, maybe you should take our lawyer with you,” Grace said, trying to sound reasonable and in control even as her heart crumpled in her chest.
Her husband had fathered a child with a woman he’d had a weekend hookup with. That hurt in the worst way possible. All those times they’d hurried to make love while she was ovulating, only to be disappointed. All those times...the heartbreak she’d had to face...while he’d sought the attentions of another woman.
“Grace, I need to learn what I can about the situation. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should take our lawyer, but first I’d like to see for myself what is going on.” He rubbed his palms together. “I know it’s asking a lot, but would you go with me to Spartanburg?”
She was halfway to the door when he said the words. She stopped and turned around so quickly her overnight bag banged into the back of her leg, delivering a stinging blow. “Me? You’re asking me to go with you? You destroyed my faith in you, and now you want me to help you solve a problem all of your making.”
“I have no right to ask this. And you have every right to refuse me.”
“You got that right. For now, all I can think about is how you deceived me and slept with another woman while we were trying so hard to have a child of our own... Or, at least, I was trying,” she said, her voice failing her as betrayal and anguish swept through her. Without warning, humiliation burned her throat. Her head swam. “I don’t understand how you could have done this to me, to us,” she cried. “But you did. You destroyed our marriage.”
Instantly, he was at her side. “It was a stupid mistake. I was feeling as if the life we wanted together would never happen. I wanted a child so much. I wanted our life to be complete. I thought that you would be happy if only we could have a child. Then I started to feel trapped by all the doctor visits, the appointments, the expectations.”
She stepped away, her back straight, her eyes boring into him. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. Not ever again.”
“Grace, please listen to me. I was in Spartanburg working with a client, working hard and wishing I could be home with you, instead.”
“A client? You mean this Deidre MacPherson person?” Grace asked, trying to decide how much longer she could stand to be near him, knowing what he’d done to her.
Aidan held her shoulders, his touch gentle and kind, the way he always behaved when he wanted her to understand something going on with his work Without warning, the time he’d come to her, telling her they’d have to mortgage their home in order to meet a loan payment flashed in front of her. The threat that they might lose their home had been one of the worst moments of her life. To lose her home meant she would lose the place she dreamed of raising their children.
“Yes, it was Deidre MacPherson’s business. She had just landed a major contract and we were providing technical support. I had to stay over the weekend with my technicians to get the system up and running. We went out to celebrate and something happened. I never saw her again or had any form of contact. I swear—”
“I don’t want to hear it!” She glared at him, gritting her teeth.
He stepped back. “I didn’t mean to remind you... All I want you to know is that I have nothing to hide where she is concerned. And that includes whatever this lawyer has in mind for us. There is simply no way I am the father of that child, but this Larry Knowles isn’t going to let it go. He has to do what his client laid out in her will.”
The warmth of Aidan’s body mingled with his cologne, filling her nostrils, and for a few pain-filled moments she wished they could simply forget everything that had happened and go back to bed. Feeling deflated and faced with the anguish in his eyes, she relented a little. “Oh, Aidan, you have ruined everything. Everything you and I ever wanted or needed is gone for good. I don’t know you anymore.”
“Please don’t say that. I’ve gotten us into a terrible mess. And I will find a way out of it, if only you’ll give me a little time to make things right,” he said, his voice shaking.
Aidan looked into her eyes, into the depths of her, her heart and her soul. They had always had this connection, this one-to-one sensation whenever they spoke about those things close to their hearts. She wanted to reach out to him, to soothe him, but the agony of what he’d done left her feeling so betrayed and angry she could barely breathe. She couldn’t touch him knowing that another woman had touched him, probably in much the same way. “I don’t want to deal with this, any of this.”
“Neither do I, but this man won’t stop trying. And it might be better if we faced this head-on, like we would with any crisis in our lives. What do you think?” He held his breath. His gaze searched her face.
“What if we go and he has irrefutable proof that it’s your child?”
Once again, his hands reached for hers. She hugged herself, not letting him touch her.
“Grace, that’s not possible. The more I think about it, the less likely I think it is that it’s true. In my experience, she was always meticulous in her dealings with people. If I was the father of her child, why didn’t she tell me? I can’t help but believe that she would have wanted me to know, to share the responsibility for the baby, the cost of her education, all the things that are needed to care for a child. I can’t imagine that she wouldn’t have insisted that I help out. What woman wouldn’t?”
“What will we do if it is your child?” Grace asked, as she kept waiting to wake up from a bad dream, cry out and be cuddled by her husband, the way it had happened after other nightmares.
The thought that a child would come into their lives in such a destructive, personally tragic way was almost beyond believing. “If this child is yours, you’ve hurt an innocent child because of your careless behavior while destroying our marriage.”
Aidan stood perfectly still. “I realize that, Grace. And I have no idea how I’ll make it up to you, but I will. As for the little girl, we owe it to her to talk with this lawyer and see what proof he thinks he has that I’m her father.”
If she was to keep her marriage as God intended, and rebuild the trust they’d always shared, she had to work her way through this horrible mess. But she couldn’t do it without proof that Aidan was serious about making amends. “There is only one way I will consider being involved with you in this, and that is if you tell me everything. If I find out you’ve been lying to me about this woman, about your time with her, our marriage is over.”
“I have told you the truth. And there is zero chance that this is my child. You and I have been trying to get pregnant for years, and every doctor we went to couldn’t find the cause. I simply won’t accept without further DNA tests, that I could have fathered a child so easily. Not after all the times you and I have made love, all the procedures we went through. It’s as simple as that. From my point of view, this is a mistake on someone’s part. I want to get it straightened out so that you and I can go ahead with adopting a child.”
“Adopt a child? How can you even think of such a thing when our marriage is in so much trouble? Didn’t you just tell me that you’d had an affair, that there might be a child from that affair? You think that this will simply be over by you admitting to what you did?” she asked, shocked and angry.
“I didn’t mean right away. I meant after this is over.”
“Aidan, this won’t simply go away. The fact that you had an affair is bad enough. The thought that you had a child with this woman makes everything impossible. Can’t you see that?”
She stood with her hand on the door, her head pounding, and watched her husband’s face. A face she loved, had loved most of her life. And now, because of one phone call, it might all be over. “Well? Aren’t you going to say something?”
“Grace, I’m begging you to go with me. You can’t imagine how terrible I feel for the pain I’ve caused you. I want to make it up to you by being totally honest about all this. From now on, wherever this takes us, I want you with me.”
She heard the sincerity in his voice, saw the expression of remorse on his face, and her determination to walk out slipped from her. Whatever he’d done, however much he’d hurt her, she was still his wife and she had to allow him to make this right. Maybe he couldn’t, and she would have to live with that. But whatever came out of this, she didn’t want to end up regretting what she’d done, how she’d behaved.
As she stared at him, memories of their life flashed before her eyes, all the good times they’d had together would end up being for nothing if she acted too rashly. Deep down inside she wanted to believe that, despite everything, they might still have a chance.
“I don’t know if I can do this, any of it. You’ve hurt me in ways I could never have imagined. Right now I hate you, and I can’t imagine ever getting over what I’m feeling.”
“Grace, I’m so afraid,” he said, his hands working at his sides.
“Would you be willing to go for marriage counseling?” she asked.
“Of course. All I want is you, Grace. I want us to find each other again, to feel what we’ve felt all these years.”
She looked at the man she’d married ten years ago, at the light dusting of freckles on his cheeks, the way his eyes seemed to see straight through her. Was it possible she might have feelings for him again? That somehow their marriage would survive this? Love didn’t die easily. She’d seen her parents’ marriage and the trouble they’d gone through, the loss of faith when her dad’s gambling problem had nearly bankrupted the family. She had to believe that her marriage would survive this, that marriage counseling might help them regain the trust they’d lost.
But she had no idea how. And if it turned out that Aidan had been unfaithful, it could be the final blow to their marriage, something that Grace would never get over. To a part of Grace, it was simply unbelievable that her husband could have fathered a child when they’d done everything to have one of their own. No one had said it was her fault that they couldn’t conceive, but deep down, she blamed herself. Proving that Aidan hadn’t had a child by this woman would help ease her guilt that she was responsible for their infertility. If this whole thing was behind them, as Aidan said, they could go to counseling, reaffirm their marriage vows and work with the adoption lawyer to find a baby.
Grace took a deep breath to ease the tension headache. “Okay. I will go with you, but that’s all I’m willing to do.”
He grabbed her, held her tight. “I love you, Grace. So much,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking.
“We’ll get through this,” he whispered close to her ear. “There is nothing we can’t do if we put our minds to it. I made a mistake, but I’m willing to make it up to you. As for the child, there is no way that little girl is mine. And I’ll prove it by having the DNA testing redone in a reputable lab.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said, her voice low as she looked into his eyes.
“This is one giant mistake on someone’s part, and I’ll prove it.” He put his arm around her shoulders and led her to the sofa, all the while feeling her resistance. “I should never have told you about Deidre the way I did. It was thoughtless and hurtful. There’s nothing I can do to fix that, but if you’ll go with me while we establish that I’m not the father, then we can work on us.”
“It’s not that simple, Aidan. I’m not going to go along with whatever you want. I’ve had enough of that. You don’t really believe that this will be over so easily, do you?” she demanded, pushing his hands away.
“I don’t know, but I want to see if I can start to make things right with you. Grace, I can’t bear to lose you, and we will get through this. I’ll make a reservation at an inn in Spartanburg, and after all this is behind us we will continue what we started here,” he said. “That is, if you want to.”
“I don’t know what I want. The only thing I’m certain of is that this is a long way from over.”
Aidan saw the misery in his wife’s eyes and his heart contracted in his chest. How could he have done this to her? “Grace, I have been so damned stupid. You deserve better than what I’ve given you by way of explanation. I’m sorry about everything, but most of all I’m sorry for causing you such pain. Thank you for agreeing to come with me. And I promise you that we will figure this out. Just give us time.”
She gave him a harsh look he’d never seen before. His stomach sank as he realized the monumental task ahead of him.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, as they drove toward Spartanburg, would have been so pleasant if not for the impending meeting. Aidan had lain awake for hours wondering how the DNA test showed him to be the father. And if he was the father, why hadn’t Deidre told him? As he thought about it, he couldn’t help but wonder why, when she had no immediate family, she hadn’t told him—if it were true. No woman would want to go through a birth and the raising of a child without some sort of family support.
And why had she done the test if she didn’t plan to tell him? Had she had a relationship with another man and wanted to be certain that he couldn’t claim the child? She was obviously a rich woman. Had a man she’d dated tried to say the daughter was his?
The lawyer hadn’t said how old the little girl was. Maybe she was too young to be his daughter. He knew the exact weekend he’d spent with Deidre, so if the child had been born more than nine months after that, she couldn’t be his. Had Deidre appointed him guardian because she thought he would do what he could for her daughter, regardless of whether or not he was the father?
As he mulled it all over, he could not understand her motivations. No matter how he looked at it, he couldn’t figure out why she would keep the paternity of her daughter a secret, yet name him as the child’s father in her will. It made zero sense. Even if Deidre was trying to prevent another man from gaining custody of the child, there were more effective—and less destructive—ways to do so.
For now, he would concentrate on the road ahead and trying to ease Grace’s concerns about what they’d face at the lawyer’s office. “I booked us into the nicest inn around the area. Might as well enjoy being comfortable while we get this over with.”
He glanced at her, at the way her golden hair fell around her cheeks, at her beautiful lips and the set of her chin. All features he was intimately acquainted with and loved about her. He squeezed her hand. “We’re going to be fine. This will be settled easily. I’ll have our lawyer look after the details of a second DNA test and then we’ll head back home. When we get home I’d like us to plan a trip to Europe. We’ve talked about it, but now I think we should do it. We’ve earned our time away to explore all those places we learned about in school. What do you say?”
“Aidan, will you stop? We—if there is a we when this is over—have more important things to deal with.”
“But all this doesn’t change the fact that we deserve a wonderful trip away from here, from my business and all that it entails. I’m also offering you the shopping trip of a lifetime—anywhere in Europe you’d like to go. You’ll have a chance to shop to your heart’s content. Will you think about it?”
“Let’s get this meeting over first,” Grace said, her lips set in a firm line.
She didn’t touch his arm as she often did when they were driving together. He missed her touch, the way it made him feel.
They drove into downtown Spartanburg to the address they had for the law office. It was an elegant older home just off the main street with a wide verandah and tall white columns flanking the entranceway. Upon entering the cool, open foyer, they were greeted by a woman wearing an impeccable navy suit. She smiled at them as she introduced herself and led them to a quiet, high-ceilinged room at the rear of the building. “Mr. Knowles will be with you momentarily. Is there anything I can get either of you? A coffee perhaps? Soft drink?”
“Nothing for me,” Aidan said as Grace shook her head.
Aidan focused on the space to keep his mind from what was about to happen. The wood paneling and large window with teal satin drapes that looked out into the back garden dominated the room. There was no desk, only an antique table and chair placed along the wall near the window. The opposite wall contained a credenza that spanned its length. “This isn’t your typical lawyer’s office,” Aidan said to overcome the hushed silence of the room.
“This must be one of those boutique law firms that specializes in estate work,” Grace said, remaining where she’d stood since they walked into the room.
He came toward her, his arms aching to wrap her in his embrace. “Are you okay? You were pretty quiet in the car.”
She shrugged. “What did you expect from me under the circumstances?”
“I—I don’t know. Maybe a word of encouragement?”
“Really? You wrecked my life. You insisted that I come here. What more can you ask of me?”
The door opened and a man entered, his navy tailored suit and gold tie a perfect accent for the room, his dark hair and mustache impeccable. “I’m Larry Knowles. So glad you could make it today,” he said without shaking hands. “Shall we get started?” he asked, pointing to the two chairs across from the table. He smoothed his tie as he sat. “Mr. Fellowes, as I explained on the phone, you have been named by Ms. MacPherson to be guardian of her only daughter. She has left very clear instructions as to how this will be worked out.”
“Please stop right there. My wife and I, for personal reasons, do not believe that I am the biological parent of this child. We want the DNA test done by a reputable lab of our choosing before we go any further with this discussion.”
Larry Knowles sat back in his chair, a surprised look on his face. “DNA is conclusive proof as far as I’m aware.”
“That’s assuming that the samples gathered were handled correctly, and that the lab followed strict procedures. I am not aware as to how or where my DNA was collected, and if it was collected in such a way to establish it was mine. It certainly was done without my permission. How have you determined that the DNA used to establish paternity was, in fact, mine?” he asked, his gaze locked on this annoying man who seemed so confident.
“It’s true that I cannot personally vouch for the authenticity of the sample. Of course, I’m relying on Ms. MacPherson’s information,” the lawyer said, showing his first moment of uncertainty.
“Then it only seems right to me, given how much is at stake, that the testing be done again. I’m sure there is lots of Ms. MacPherson’s DNA still present in her home, and I’m willing to provide a fresh sample for examination.”
Larry Knowles looked straight at Aidan, started to say something, then stopped. He glanced quickly at Grace, then back to Aidan. “I have no reason whatsoever to doubt Deidre MacPherson. She was a friend as well as a client. But I do see your point. My only wish is that you do it quickly as possible. Emma is living in her home with her nanny, and this needs to be resolved.”
“What happens to Emma when it is proven that my husband isn’t the father?” Grace asked.
“You have to understand that Deidre was absolutely positive that your husband was the father of her little girl. Having no close family she wanted to give her daughter to, she chose the biological father as guardian in the event Deidre didn’t live to see her child grow to adulthood. If, for whatever reason, your husband doesn’t take the child, she will be a ward of the state, which means that foster care will have to be arranged,” the lawyer said.
“Are you certain there is no family for her?” Aidan asked. “None at all?”
“A cousin who is in her sixties.” The lawyer glanced between them. “Look, I know this is a shock for both of you. And I understand you feel there has been a serious mistake made. If you’ll give me the name of the lab you want to deal with, I will make arrangements for Emma to be tested along with you. But in the meantime, Deidre had one more request.”
“What is it?” Aidan asked, suddenly afraid that it might be some sort of burial request since she had no family. He didn’t want to put Grace through anything more than was necessary.
“Deidre put together a video of Emma’s life over the past four years. It’s simply a visual portrait of a little girl who was the light of her mother’s life. They were very close and Emma is a beautiful little girl. Deidre wasn’t certain how you’d respond to her last wishes and so she requested that you watch the video before you left my office. It won’t take long.”
He opened a drawer and brought out a laptop, setting it on the desk in front of Aidan and Grace. A few clicks and the screen glowed blue before the picture of a newborn appeared. “I’ll leave you to watch the video and be back in a few minutes.”
Unable to stop himself, Aidan leaned toward the screen. Slowly photos emerged, showing an infant asleep in her car seat, followed by her first steps and her wide smile, dressed in a Halloween teddy bear costume. A woman’s voice, carefully modulated, yet warm and upbeat, filled the room.
“Is that Deidre speaking?” Grace asked.
A chill ran along his shoulders. It felt as if Deidre were in the room. “Yes, I believe so... It’s been a while.” He would have recognized her voice anywhere. It was such a distinct mix of Southern drawl and New England twang.
“The child is so sweet.” Grace sighed. “How lucky she was to have such a beautiful baby girl.”
Slowly the images shifted to show the home she lived in, the front steps and the street in front of Deidre’s house. There were closer shots showing Emma’s rosy complexion and her glossy red curls. Aidan recognized the backgrounds in the photos—all were places around Deidre’s home and office.
Grace took his hand. “Have you seen any of these before?”
“No. Never,” Aidan said as the video showed Emma in a pink party dress, her red curls framing her face. There was something so familiar about her, about the way she cocked her head and smiled at the camera. Deidre could be heard in the background wishing Emma a happy third birthday.
The camera panned close, so that Emma’s face filled the screen. Aidan stared for a minute, slowly becoming aware of something he couldn’t mistake for anything other than what it was.
“Aidan. Look!” Grace cried. “She’s got the same cleft in her chin as you have. And her smile. Oh, God. Aidan. Her smile is yours.”
Aidan swallowed against the impact of the little girl’s face. She did have his chin... “A lot of people have the same feature. Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Fear mixed with foreboding clutched his heart. He moved his chair closer to Grace’s and pulled her hand into his lap. “This little girl is beautiful, but she could be anyone’s little girl,” he said, unable to grasp the truth of what he’d seen a few minutes ago.
The next photo was of Emma hugging a large teddy bear. Deidre’s voice could be heard once again. “Aidan, if you’re watching this, it means I am gone. I need you to care for our daughter. I had the DNA testing done just a few months after Emma was born. There is no doubt that you’re the father. Emma has your smile, your curls and that cute little cleft in her chin. My last wish is that you provide her with a loving home and care for her in my stead.”
The next photo slid onto the screen, a close-up showing Emma laughing at the camera as she clutched another teddy bear, this time a black one with a big red bow, her round cheeks glowing. She moved up close to the camera. Close enough to see every feature on her tiny face. The smile was so endearing, the little girl so happy and carefree. This beautiful child was innocent and would pay the price if he denied her.
“She is your daughter and you are her father. Please love her with all your heart as I have. Please,” Deidre pleaded.
Grace pulled her hand away. “You believe her, don’t you,” she said, her voice cold and distant.
Disbelief shook him. What if this little girl was his daughter? What would he do if she were? Even the thought, the possibility of a child opened something inside him, something he’d never really felt before. He looked at Grace, saw her anguish and put his arm around her shoulders.
Grace pushed him away.
There had to be some mistake. It was so unreal—the lawyer’s call, the emotional trip here, the realization that there was a pretty good chance Deidre’s daughter was also his. “Grace, we are going to have the DNA test redone. We’ll pick a lab back in Charleston and I will pay whatever it takes to have the testing done as fast as possible. We won’t jump to any conclusions until then.” He cleared his throat. “This is so difficult for you, finding out that I had relations with Deidre. I’ve hurt you in ways I never intended...ever. But we’ll work this out, somehow. You’ll see.”
Grace wrapped her arms around her middle and nodded at the screen. “Aidan, look at her. She is so much like you in her appearance and her smile. How could you think this isn’t your child?” Her voice sounded choked with tears as she huddled in the corner of her chair.
“Grace, please, let’s wait and see.” As the video ended, despite his denials, he knew Emma was his daughter. He knew because the close-up shot revealed that Emma’s left eye held the same tiny glint of a different color that his mother’s had. A bit of pale yellow in the blue of the iris. A family trait. “Let’s get that lawyer in here and then we can arrange the testing. After that, we’ll go home and wait for the results.”
He rose, waiting for his wife to stand, resisting the urge to take her in his arms and convince her that what had happened five years ago had been long over, even before it began. “I love you. My relationship with Deidre was wrong and a complete betrayal of you and of us. Whatever the tests show, I want you to know that I have never loved anyone the way I love you.”
Slowly Grace stood, being careful to stay away from him. Regardless of what he wanted, he knew she would not allow him to touch her. “My only hope is that you see your way clear to forgive me,” he said.
Without looking at him, she said, “Aidan, I can’t forgive you. Every part of my life has changed, all because you betrayed what we had together.”
CHAPTER THREE (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER Grace placed a seafood casserole in the oven and set the timer. Her words in the lawyer’s office had proven prophetic, because everything about her life had changed. The drive home had been a long, silent one with each mile forcing her to face the cold truth. She could think of little else but what Aidan had done with that woman—a woman who claimed that her child was his.
The easy closeness Grace and Aiden had shared had disappeared as if it never existed. She’d moved into the guest bedroom, too tired to sleep as her mind went over that day at the Planters Inn.
Meanwhile, Aidan behaved as if nothing had changed. He’d worked long hours, as he always did. Because of his behavior, Grace couldn’t help but worry that maybe Deidre wasn’t the only affair he’d had, that he might have spent the past few nights in the arms of another woman. She was embarrassed at how naive and foolish she’d been to never question anything her husband had told her. She’d even considered hiring a private detective to follow him, something she was deeply ashamed of, but she’d found herself doing all sorts of things she would never have dreamed of a month ago.
She’d given everything, every part of herself, to her marriage. She’d never once considered having an affair, and she despised the fact that her husband had felt the need to have one. Sure, it had been rough going through the tests, trying to have a baby. But he wasn’t the only one wishing that it could be over while praying for a baby to make their life together complete.
What hurt most was that now she had to face the fact that he didn’t want a baby nearly as much as she did. He could deny that, but it was true. He’d seen fit to have a fling with someone during the darkest period of her life, and he’d resisted talking to the adoption lawyer.
She’d begun to realize that all her plans for a happy life with Aidan that included children lay in ruins. A part of her was sure that there was nothing left between them.
She realized that most of her friends would see her willingness to try to repair her marriage as degrading and pointless, given his infidelity. But despite these past few weeks, she knew Aidan to be a decent man.
To talk about adoption in the middle of this crisis was pure denial on her part. Yet she hadn’t let go of that dream, that possibility of getting a child. She supposed, underneath it all, she needed to keep her life as normal as possible and to believe that she and Aidan had a chance to survive this if they worked hard enough.
So she’d made dinner. For them and two of their friends, Cecilia and Dave. As though everything was fine. As though Grace and Aidan were actually considering adoption. It was better than facing the evening alone, which was what she’d been doing since seeing the photos of Emma.
Aidan came up behind her and put his hands on her waist, something that had always made her lean back into his embrace. “Grace, I’ve finished setting the table. Anything else I can do?” he whispered close to her ear, sending tiny points of excitement hurtling down her body. She resisted the urge to lean into him and, instead, ran hot water into the sink in preparation for cleaning the frying pan and spatulas she’d used.
He continued to hold her gently yet securely. She was powerless to resist him. “Grace, I know how hard this has been for you, this waiting and wondering.”
She turned in his arms and gazed into his eyes, his body’s warmth drawing her closer. “If you really know how difficult this is for me, why haven’t you stayed home with me during the evening? It’s lonely here with no one to talk to about all this.”
He bowed his head, his forehead touching hers. “I wish I had. Most of the time I sat in my office trying to face the truth about me, about what I’d done, how stupid I felt. Wherever my thoughts took me, one thing remained the same. This is my fault. I hurt you. I’m sorry. So sorry for what I did. I can’t say it enough.”
She wanted to resist him, make him pay for what he did to her, to them. But she needed his arms around her, needed to feel his body pressed into hers. She missed him so much, his lovemaking, his caring touch, the feeling that they would always be together. She put her arms around his neck and raised her face to his.
He reacted with a deep sigh of need, his lips touching hers, demanding and hot. She angled her body closer, feeling his erection against her tummy and writhing against it.
“Oh, Grace. I’ve missed you so much,” he said against her mouth, his breath hot on her lips.
“Me, too,” she whispered, pulling him closer, her need for him sweeping all other thoughts from her mind.
He picked her up. “We’ve got time,” he said, holding her tight as they started for the bedroom.
“You’re going to carry me upstairs?” she said, surprised. “You haven’t done that in years.”
“I may spend my days behind a desk but I can still carry my wife upstairs,” he said, his embrace firm as he maneuvered through the living room toward the stairs just as the phone rang.
A mechanical voice blared from the phone on the hall table. “Call from Knowles Attorney at Law. Call from Knowles Attorney at Law.”
He stopped. She slid from his arms. They stared at each other.
“You’d better take it,” Grace said, her voice strained, her heart doing a slow, hard pound in her chest. She watched her husband’s face as he spoke with the lawyer, his eyes on hers as he listened.
“I understand. So it’s conclusive.” He fidgeted with the handheld unit, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes swerving around the room. “Thanks. Yes. Please fax the results to my office as soon as you can.” He hung up, coming toward her, pulling her into his arms, his body pressed to hers. “The test results prove that Emma is my daughter. I can’t believe this. I have a daughter... How could I have a daughter?”
A chill ran down Grace’s spine. He said the words with a reverence she hadn’t heard from him before. “You mean you have a daughter.”
“I can’t believe it,” he said again, as if he hadn’t heard her, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “But deep down, I knew by the spot of color in her left eye. I saw it. Mom had the same spot, the same yellow area in her iris.”
Grace stepped out of his arms. “You were sure the day we saw the video, but you didn’t tell me. You let me hope that there might be a chance that the DNA test was wrong. How could you?” she demanded.
He glanced at her, his expression gentle. “I wanted to protect you as long as I could. But, yes, I knew that Emma was my daughter. I don’t know how it could have happened, but it did.”
Anger flooded her at his selfish words. “How can you stand there and tell me you don’t know how it happened?” All these nights, he hadn’t been sitting in his office worried about her. He’d been thinking about his daughter and what that would mean to him. All the while, Grace had been home alone trying to make sense of what was going on and missing him with her whole heart.
“What do you mean?” he asked startled.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Aidan. You made this happen by having sex with this woman. How can you stand there and pretend this was fate when you broke our marriage vows?” Grace demanded, so angry she could barely breathe. “Stop lying to yourself,” she said as she stomped upstairs, anger filling her mind and soul with the stark realization that her marriage was over.
She turned at the top of the stairs to face him where he stood at the bottom looking up at her. “You had your fling and now you have your child. Congratulations.” With that she went into the guest bedroom and slammed the door. Throwing herself on the bed she cried until there were no tears left.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, Grace awoke to the sound of the phone ringing, once again the stupid, mechanical voice announcing the caller, only this time, it was her friend Cecilia’s name. Grace didn’t have a clue whether they’d shown up last night or not. She hadn’t been able to hear anything over her tears.
Her whole life had been tossed, and that was all she could think about. She assumed that Aidan had dealt with dinner, but she couldn’t bring herself to care what he did. She owed her friends an apology, but she couldn’t do it right now. Her head ached, her mouth was dry and her whole body felt numb.
She heard Aidan’s voice, his consoling tone and his offer to have her call Cecilia back when she got up. But she wasn’t getting up for a very long time. Her life in this house was over. The man she’d thought she knew didn’t exist anymore. And instead, she was faced with the fact that her husband was completely absorbed with his present circumstances, leaving her to work out her feelings toward him alone, to cope with the loss of her dream all over again.
She heard Aidan come up the stairs and scrambled to bury herself under the covers. When the door opened she called out, “What do you want?”
He entered the room, standing next to the door. “We need to talk, Grace.”
“You’re the one with the secrets. Why don’t you start?” she asked sarcastically. She was done trying to be the perfect, caring wife.
“Last night was difficult for you, and again, I’m sorry.”
She wanted to stay buried beneath the duvet, but if he was going to stand there talking, she decided to face him, to not back down or allow any feelings she had left for him sway her. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have anything to say and better to get it over now. She sat up, bracing herself against the mound of pillows. “Aidan, if you’d behaved like my husband and not some philandering shell of a man, you wouldn’t have to apologize. You have singlehandedly destroyed our marriage. I hope you’re proud of what you’ve done.”
She saw the hurt in his eyes, the way his hands shook as he held them against his face. “That was mean of me, but you deserved it,” she said, swinging her feet over the side of the bed while hugging the duvet close to her body, realizing, as she looked at her feet, that she was still dressed in the clothes she’d worn yesterday.
“You’re right. But we have to talk. I called the lawyer this morning, and he wants to know if we’re going to be in Spartanburg sometime this week to settle the estate.”
“What do you want me to do about it? She’s your daughter. And her mother was your lover,” she said sarcastically.
“She is our daughter, and she’s going to be part of our lives. I want to talk this over with you. I need to have your support on this.”
“My support?” She gawked. “You think after everything you’ve done that you’re entitled to my support?”
“You’re my wife, and you will be Emma’s mother.”
“Aidan! Wake up! I am not Emma’s mother and I’m not your wife. You made sure of that.” She couldn’t look at the sorrowful expression on his face any longer. Instead, she focused on the embroidered edge of the duvet.
“Grace, Emma is my daughter. I can’t abandon her now that her mother is gone.”
“Aidan, you’re not being fair. How long have I waited to have a baby, to share every bit of the experience with you? And now there’s this...this child, who will remind me every single day of my life that my husband has been unfaithful, appears and I’m supposed to be her stand-in mother?”
Grace balled her fingers into fists. “You should have been honest with me. About the affair and about this child. You knew the truth when we were at the lawyer’s office. And again you didn’t respect me enough to tell me the truth.”
Aidan rushed to the side of the bed and knelt in front of her. “I should have. I know that. And I have no explanation other than my own stupidity, my need not to have you angry at me. But now there is a child in our lives who just lost her mother and who will be going through a terrible time. I can’t leave her to deal with that without me. I—I can’t.”
His gaze implored her to understand. “I realize that this is a lot for you to understand and accept, but Emma needs me...needs us.” He took her hand in his, his fingers gently stroking the soft skin of her wrist. “I can’t imagine what life will be like for Emma now that her mother is gone. She’s only four and she is going to be alone if we don’t help her.”
“Why do you keep saying we?” Grace asked, feeling her throat tighten.
“If you’d come with me, you’d have a chance to see her and offer your caring and support. Grace, you’re the most loving and kind person on the planet. And there is a little girl in need of everything you have to offer. Don’t pass up the chance to help her because of the mistakes I made. Don’t make her life more miserable because of something I did. I will do anything you ask if you will come to Spartanburg with me.”
Grace looked into his eyes and saw the truth of his words. He wanted to go to his daughter, and she wanted him to go. Despite her hurt and her fear of how this child would change their lives, she wanted him to go to his little girl. She wanted the little girl to have all the support and understanding possible. But Grace could not go there with him. Couldn’t act as if nothing had happened, as if her life hadn’t been tossed in the garbage by the man who claimed to love her.
Yet, he had a point; there was a child who needed all the support she could give. “Why do you need me? There must be other people to help out. People she already knows. People who love her. What about Deidre’s friends?”
“I don’t know who Deidre’s friends are, but the only way I can find out is to go back to Spartanburg.”
That he would be unfaithful to her after all they’d been through, after all the time they’d loved each other—it still was inconceivable that he would have been with someone else.
And he had the audacity to expect her to be supportive of him while he went to visit his daughter.
“Everything I thought we were working toward, every dream we’d had about a family ended last evening. I’m the one who can’t conceive. I am the one who is infertile. Even if we could reconcile, I would never be able to give you a child.” She struggled to keep the ugly tears in check. “You can’t expect me to go along as if nothing has changed between us.”
Aidan sighed deeply. “I promise you, Grace, that if you go with me, I will do whatever you ask where we are concerned. I don’t pretend to understand how you feel, but I will respect any decision you make once you’ve seen Emma. It’s clear we need time to work on our problems. I won’t deny that. But I also want you to see this little girl.”
“Why are you so fixated on this, Aidan? A few days won’t matter. You’re a complete stranger to this child. You could simply upset her. What good would that do?”
“I hope that doesn’t happen, but if it does, I’ll find a way to deal with it,” Aidan said, his eyes not meeting hers.
Suddenly she felt a cold sensation around her heart. She was alone in all this misery. Aidan didn’t understand what he was asking of her or he would never have asked it. He would have known how painful it would be for her to face the child he’d conceived with another woman.
But, most of all, she felt alone because he had a whole new focus in his life. He had a daughter, and his eagerness to see her made Grace feel invisible...unimportant.
Yet deep down, a part of her longed to see this child—a little girl who, through no fault of her own, had been thrust into their lives. What would it be like if, somehow, they could work things out between them and Aidan took over his little girl’s life? How would holidays, like Christmas or Easter, be if Emma was with them, was an integral part of their lives? It was so easy to imagine those moments, moments Grace had already dreamed of, lived for all these years.
She’d dreamed of feeling moments of pure joy with her child. With Emma in their lives, there would be wonderful events—the miracle of Christmas and the Christ child being real and present in their lives.
There was a little girl who, regardless of how it had come about, would become a part of their lives...if only they could resolve their differences. Grace struggled with fear and so many other emotions. How could she mother another woman’s child when that child would trigger suspicions about her husband’s behavior? Grace would always wonder what he was doing, what he was really feeling, whenever she looked at the child he’d had with someone else. Grace had been living that way these past few weeks, and it had been unbearable. “Aidan, if we are going together to see Emma, I need you to tell me that that you aren’t hiding anything more from me.”
He nodded his head vigorously, his face tight with anxiety.
“Are you sure you’re telling me everything about your relationship with Deidre? How am I to believe that you weren’t in touch with her these past four years? Because it just doesn’t make sense to me. What woman would spend the money to prove who the father of her child was without ever telling him about it?”
“I have no idea why Deidre did what she did. But I swear to you, I had no contact with her.”
“And you and Deidre haven’t been seeing each other?”
“Grace, I have not seen Deidre since those two days five years ago. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but I want to get this right. What I said last night about Emma being my child is only partly true. You’re my wife. I love you. And this is our child. I can’t help but believe that your faith in God had something to do with this child entering our lives.”
“What? You’re not making sense.”
“We love each other. We’ve tried everything to have a baby. And I’m really sorry that Deidre died. She was essentially a good person, but her passing has given us the gift we’ve been dreaming of for years. It may not have happened in quite the way either of us wanted, but it is a chance for us to start our family.”
She had always been a practicing Christian. She believed in God’s will and his plan for her and her life. Could it be that Aidan was right? Was this how God worked in their lives? She wasn’t sure. “Do you think it is possible?”
He nodded. “I do.”
Seeing the anguish on his face, Grace clasped his hand, her love for him reawaking within her. This was a very difficult situation, and they would be a long time working through it, but if they could... She leaned across the bed to touch him and tried to forget her fears and her suspicions.
If they were going to make their marriage work once again, she had to accept what had happened. If, in the end, they couldn’t work things out, she had to be certain that she’d done what she could to save her marriage. “I’ll go with you to see Emma.”
He kissed her hand, a long sigh escaping his lips. “You will not regret this. I promise you that we will do this together.”
CHAPTER FOUR (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
THEY PACKED A few things and started out of town just as the sun began to warm the air. Grace couldn’t help but feel anxious. As much as she wanted to support Aidan and Emma, she was still in shock over what had occurred in such a short time. Doubt and betrayal continued to circle her thoughts, refusing to leave regardless of how she tried to think of God’s will.
She felt suspended, dislocated, since the lawyer had called. The news that Aidan would now be responsible for his daughter didn’t seem to be real, despite her earlier hope. “How are we going to make this all work?” she asked.
“To be honest, I’m still trying to figure out why Deidre didn’t tell me.”
“Maybe she never intended that you find out.”
“But why? All those meetings we held to discuss the operational issues of her company back five years ago, I thought I knew her. At least a little bit. I never pictured her as someone who would hide such important information from anyone, let alone me.”
“What do you mean by that?” Grace asked, feeling uneasy.
He glanced over at her. “I mean that she seemed so upright, so honest and caring. I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“How can you call her upright and honest? She went to bed with another woman’s husband. How can you defend that behavior?”
“Sorry that didn’t come out the way I intended. I meant in relation to her work.”
His supportive words for this woman were disconcerting. She searched for something to focus on as her stomach rose into her throat. “Did you make a reservation for us for tonight?”
“No. I didn’t think of it. But we can do that easily when we get there.”
Aidan drove carefully through the city streets toward the highway leading out of town toward Spartanburg. “Grace, I have been so busy building up my company, making plans for us, for when we have a family, that I didn’t take in what it would really mean to have a child in our lives. But now that this little girl needs us, it’s as if we’re being given a chance to have what we always dreamed of. I want to be there for her.”
A part of her didn’t really care how he felt, but she tried to sound interested if only to keep the conversation going. “You have a lot to think about if you’re going to give her a good home, so much planning needs to be done.”
He squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”
He sighed and smiled at her, making her heart do a funny flip-flop in her chest. She wanted to go home, to pretend none of this was happening, to go back to the way things had been before that first phone call from Larry Knowles.
“It’s just that there is so much to think about—”
He squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Stop worrying. We’ll figure it all out together. We’ll see how Emma is doing when we get to the house. The nanny will be there and probably a couple of Deidre’s closest friends.”
“Do you know where Deidre lives... I mean, lived?” Grace asked, wondering how he would have known if he hadn’t seen her since the end of the affair over five years ago. “She might have moved since you were last here.”
He gripped the wheel, his eyes skirting hers. “Mr. Knowles told me she lived in the same house as when I knew her.”
Reality crashed down on Grace, billowing around her like an unwanted mist. Memories of those lonely nights when she’d waited for Aidan to come home, to make love to her, praying that this time there would be a baby for them. Believing his absence meant he was building a future for their family.
She had awoken this morning hoping it was all a terrible dream, not real. Just before the pain rushed her, reminding her of the loss of trust, the ache of knowing her husband had slept with another woman.
She believed in marriage, had been raised in a home where vows of any kind were taken seriously, and none more than the marriage vow. She wanted to take him back and put her whole heart into forgetting the past. They had married right out of college and had had their share of disagreements like any couple, but never something like this.
Her hurt, her soul-deep wounds prevented her from forgetting anything. And she doubted they would allow her to forgive.
There were so many questions and so few answers. Why had Deidre chosen not to tell Aidan about Emma when she was alive? Wouldn’t she have wanted her daughter to be close to her dad and his family? Why had she left everything to Aidan on the condition that he accept Emma into his life and become her dad?
Grace couldn’t imagine any woman who would have behaved that way. She certainly wouldn’t have. She would have insisted that the child’s father share in the responsibility for caring for and raising it. She would want her daughter to have all the love and support possible, regardless of how she felt about the father. So how could Deidre not be in touch with Aidan and still expect him to step in as parent?
None of this made any sense...
“Grace, honey, time to wake up,” Aidan said softly.
“What?” she asked, suddenly awake. After not sleeping for days, the smooth motion of the car had lulled her to sleep. Sitting up straight, she glanced out the window at the quiet boulevard basking in the midmorning sun. “Should I put Deidre’s address into the GPS?”
“No. We’re only a few minutes away from her house.”
It was humiliating to realize that her husband had been to Deidre’s home. Had they made love in her bedroom? Grace’s stomach sank, pressing into her backbone. Of course they had. They wouldn’t have needed to hide out in a hotel room to carry on their affair when Deidre’s home was available and waiting.
Grace closed her eyes, trying to resist the image of her husband and Deidre making love in the home she was about to enter. A sharp ache close to her heart made her grit her teeth. She couldn’t wait to get away from the place. The ache of betrayal reminded her of what had gone on without her knowing. “We...we need a reservation for tonight.”
“I’ll look after that once we’ve seen Emma. I’m worried about how she’ll react to us appearing in her life right now...” He turned right onto a tree-lined street, weaving through the many twists and turns of a roadway designed to slow traffic around homes whose gabled entrances, brick exteriors and long, elegant windows spoke of wealth and prestige.
Grace shrank into the seat, suddenly wishing she hadn’t come with Aidan. She didn’t want to see this house, this place where her husband had made love to another woman—a woman he hadn’t admitted having a fling with until circumstances forced him to do so. The car slowed as Aidan pulled into a driveway surrounded by a hedge that protected the house from the street, the massive gardens sweeping toward the entrance, flashing bright red and yellow flowers of all sizes and shapes. Following the curve of the driveway, they stopped in front of a massive dark wood door.
“We’re here,” Aidan said, turning off the engine. “Are you okay?” he asked, turning to her his eyes filled with concern. “I realize that this isn’t easy for you,” he murmured, taking her hand in his and kissing her fingers. “If you’d rather, I can go in first, if it would make it easier for you...”
Her heart hammered against her rib cage. Could she go in there? Could she face a little girl who was about to be part of their life? If they stayed married, of course.
She glanced around, hoping to see other vehicles along the circular drive. There weren’t any. It had been several weeks since Deidre’s passing, and yet Grace had expected to see evidence that people were still coming to check on a little girl who had lost her mommy. Where were all this woman’s friends? Or didn’t she have any?
The tragic way Deidre had died should have meant that her friends were taking turns caring for her daughter. She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I can do this. Go into the house where you slept with another woman. It’s not fair.”
“It’s all right if you can’t. You’ve come this far with me, more than I expected or deserved.”
At least he acknowledged her perspective. No, she couldn’t go inside. Yet...she was drawn to see this little girl, this child who was dealing with so much. “Let’s get this over. Maybe the nanny isn’t home. Maybe she took Emma to friends’ or to the library,” Grace said, the knot in her stomach hardening.
Without a word, Aidan came around to her door, opened it and took her hand in that reassuring way of his. Suddenly she felt faint. “I’m not sure I can do this, Aidan.”
He squeezed her fingers. “You can. I’m right here if you need me.” He took her hand and led her to the imposing front door, his fingers pressing the doorbell as his eyes held hers. “This will all be okay. I promise you. We’ll be okay.”
The door opened and a tall woman with dark hair and penetrating brown eyes greeted them. “You must be Aidan Fellowes. I recognize you from the photo. Come on in,” she offered, leading the way into the formal living room to the right of the entrance hall.
“I am, and this is my wife, Grace,” Aidan said, his arm coming around Grace’s shoulders.
The woman’s expression was one of kindness. “I’m Emma’s nanny, Lisa Gomez. I’ve cared for Emma since she was born.”
She pointed to the sofa opposite the fireplace. “I’m aware of Deidre’s intentions concerning Emma, and I want you to know I approve of them. A child should be with her father in a situation like this. Emma has a lovely photo of you, Mr. Fellowes.”
Grace sat on the edge of the sofa her mind reeling. A photo of Aidan? She turned to Lisa. “You have a photo of my husband. Why?”
Lisa glanced quizzically at Aidan before she answered. “He is Emma’s father. Deidre wanted Emma to be able to recognize her father. Deidre’s company worked closely with his company, and I’m sure they stayed in touch through work, although she never said as much.”
Lisa raised her eyebrows, her gaze resting on Grace’s face, a look of understanding dawning on her face. “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Fellowes. I don’t know why, but I thought Aidan was single when he and Deidre met...”
Aidan had sworn he hadn’t been involved in Deidre’s business after the affair. He’d claimed Lucas looked after anything Deidre’s company needed. Was that the truth? Had her husband been here since that weekend? Was she the only one who didn’t know what was going on? Had Aidan and Lucas both hidden the truth from her? Lucas wouldn’t do that, of that she was certain.
Tears burned Grace’s eyes. She fought to regain her equilibrium, deciding to say nothing more to this woman. Her hands clammy, her breath coming in short gasps, she struggled to stay in this room and listen to what was being said. Her eyes sought the door. Her body tensed as she placed her feet firmly on the floor in front of her. “Could I see the photo of my husband?”
“That’s not necessary,” Aidan said.
“I’d like to see the photo of my husband,” she said, suspicion writhing through her at Aidan’s objection.
Lisa left the room and came back a few minutes later, holding the framed photo out to Grace. “Deidre wanted Emma to understand that she had a dad who didn’t live with them. Deidre wanted her to see what her dad looked like.”
Grace searched the photo for clues as to where it had been taken...a park somewhere. She didn’t recognize the photo or the place, but the smile on Aidan’s face was playful and open. How could he have been looking that way if their relationship was a quick hookup, a fling, as he’d described it? And why had they been in a park she didn’t recognize? “I thought you had no role in Emma’s life, that you knew nothing about her until the lawyer called,” she said, seething.
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Stella MacLean
The family she’s always wanted…Becoming a mother means everything to Grace Fellowes. She and her husband Aidan are ready to adopt when they learn that Aidan is a father already. A tragic accident has left five-year-old Emma motherless and Grace with the devastating knowledge that her husband had an affair. Her heart and her trust are broken.Smart, loving, and full of life, the red-headed Emma is perfectly charming. She’s everything Grace has longed for – and a constant reminder of Aidan’s infidelity. But Emma needs a family and Aidan can’t abandon his daughter. This child could be the best thing that ever happened to her marriage – if Grace can learn to forgive.
The family she’s always wanted...
Becoming a mother means everything to Grace Fellowes. She and her husband, Aidan, are ready to adopt when they learn that Aidan is a father already. A tragic accident has left five-year-old Emma motherless and Grace with the devastating knowledge that her husband had an affair. Her heart and her trust are broken.
Smart, loving and full of life, redheaded Emma is perfectly charming. She’s everything Grace has longed for—and a constant reminder of Aidan’s infidelity. But Emma needs a family and Aidan can’t abandon his daughter. This child could be the best thing that ever happened to her marriage—if Grace can learn to forgive.
STELLA MACLEAN loves creating contemporary romances in which the characters find love and fulfillment while learning to live in the moment. She draws her story ideas from her life as a wife, mother, grandmother and friend, and from her professional background as a nurse and accountant. Stella loves to travel and spend time with friends, and she is an avid gardener, taking great pleasure from digging in the dirt and watching seeds she has planted add beauty and grace to her gardens.
Also By Stella MacLean
Life in Eden Harbor
The Doctor Returns
To Protect Her Son
Sweet on Peggy
Heart of My Heart
Baby in Her Arms
A Child Changes Everything
The Christmas Inn
Unexpected Attraction
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Bringing Emma Home
Stella MacLean
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08467-3
BRINGING EMMA HOME
© 2018 Ruth MacLean
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
“Grace, Emma is my daughter. I can’t abandon her now that her mother is gone.”
“Aidan, you’re not being fair. How long have I waited to have a baby in my life, to share every bit of the experience with you? And now this...this child that will only serve to remind me every single day of my life that my husband has been unfaithful.” Grace balled her hands into fists. “You should have been honest with me.”
Aidan rushed to the side of the bed and knelt in front of her. “I should have. I know that. And I have no other explanation other than my own stupidity, my need to not have you angry at me. But now there is a child in our lives who just lost her mother, and who will be going through a terrible time. I can’t leave her to deal with that without me. I...I can’t.”
His eyes implored her to understand. “I realize that this is a lot for you to accept, but Emma needs me...needs us.”
Dear Reader (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53),
Writing to you at this moment in time is both pleasant and sad. As some of you may know, the Harlequin Superromance line will be ending June 2018. Working for Harlequin has been a dream come true for me. It’s been a wonderful experience to bring my characters to life with the help of the Harlequin editors in Toronto.
As I wrote this book, I was reminded of how easily life can change and how much of our lives are affected by the actions and thoughts of others. This is particularly true for Grace and Aidan Fellowes, deeply in love and happily married until an event outside their day-to-day lives changes everything. This story is not only about a couple’s commitment to their marriage, but also about the importance of empathy. If Aidan and Grace hadn’t been able to empathize with each other, and with Emma, the little girl who entered their lives, the story would have been over before it began. Empathy, whether for your spouse, a friend or a colleague, is the key ingredient needed to strengthen relationships and the first step in acceptance of a situation beyond our control.
It is with fond memories and an open heart that I offer you Bringing Emma Home.
I love to hear from my readers. I can be reached on Twitter, @Stella_MacLean (https://twitter.com/stella__maclean), on Facebook at Facebook.com/StellaMacleanRomanceAuthor (https://Facebook.com/StellaMacleanRomanceAuthor) or through my website at StellaMaclean.com (http://www.stellamaclean.com).
Sincerely,
Stella MacLean
This book is dedicated to those in a marriage who have faced challenges in their relationship and found the courage and determination to work through those challenges to a deeper, more committed relationship. You are the real heroes.
Contents
Cover (#u04b98aab-3c8b-52ae-a095-3c99ca35238a)
Back Cover Text (#u476a4e76-0c93-5149-8343-497b82124046)
About the Author (#uf397a4cf-c68a-5ce8-a233-0676861d3bff)
Booklist (#uc87abd0a-d068-5635-9e17-2eb11053e1f0)
Title Page (#u4313d314-c926-5e75-a149-e85b5218eeae)
Copyright (#u4623e9c7-adff-5576-9606-c6579cb75b8a)
Introduction (#uca0a9cc0-7612-5242-a372-3f9adc805bc0)
Dear Reader (#u12bbd747-ea81-5231-ba24-31a301f0d683)
Dedication (#ue3118808-53ed-559b-99fd-fa17dea15406)
CHAPTER ONE (#u0e221e81-34ed-59c5-8fca-2c4d4339f10f)
CHAPTER TWO (#ufd773c8f-bd07-528e-bb5e-170eb418b720)
CHAPTER THREE (#u4106bc31-6b48-596e-bce6-66e799bcbbc1)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u0b1265e0-209a-5507-8766-4d32a63b25ab)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
GRACE FELLOWES REMEMBERED the exact moment her life changed forever. She’d been sitting in her high-school math class trying to work on a calculus problem when Aidan Fellowes slid into the desk next to her and smiled that smile of his that made her heart lift and turn over in her chest. She remembered feeling light-headed and dizzy, his smile fueling her breathlessness.
She tried not to blush—not a cool thing to do. Yet every bone in her body, every part of her being was alive to him, to the way his eyes focused on her and the way her body warmed, despite the fact he hadn’t touched her.
She remembered when their eyes met, when he took the pencil from her fingers and showed her how to solve the problem. She remembered the fall leaves raining down around them, offering a crackling melody under their feet as they crossed the school parking lot to his Jeep. As they reached his vehicle, he took her hand, and from that moment, there was no one else for her but him.
Now, sitting in their bedroom in a solitary wingback chair, with the beginning tendrils of early light slipping around the bedroom drapes, her love for her husband was even stronger than it had been eighteen years ago when they first met. Glancing across the room to where Aidan lay sprawled on the bed, her gaze followed the line of his cheek as he slept, the easy movement of his chest as he breathed deeply, and she considered climbing back into bed with him.
Her fingers trembled as they traced the edge of her wedding band and diamond solitaire while the anxious ache brought on by the past held her in the chair, unable to go to him. They had been married for ten years and really focused on getting pregnant for nearly seven years, which meant that Aidan had left a lot of the out-of-town travel to visit clients to her brother, Lucas Barton. They were partners in a computer engineering firm they’d started when they’d both graduated from university.
Yet despite the sacrifices, despite how hard she and Aidan had tried, how much testing they’d gone through, she had to face the fact that she would not give birth to a baby she could hold and love with all her heart.
As their last failed chance to have a baby of their own crushed her dream of becoming pregnant, she finally decided to broach the topic of adopting a baby. Last night she’d cooked Aidan’s favorite meal—shrimp and grits—and made his favorite dessert, chocolate cake. She’d spent days preparing the meal and rehearsing what she’d say.
She’d been so excited after dinner, unable to stop repeating the story of Cecilia and Dave, her friends, and their new baby boy, James Patrick Adair. When she mentioned that she’d put a call in to the same adoption lawyer their friends used, she’d waited for Aidan to respond, to say anything that gave her hope he might be willing to adopt. He hadn’t.
Later, when they’d gone to bed, Aidan had turned away from her, leaving her disappointed and feeling completely alone. More than anything, she’d wanted him to hold her, to tell her that they would see the lawyer about an adoption as soon as his schedule allowed. She would have gladly accepted his need to put off that appointment for a bit because of his busy work life. She would even have accepted his asking to think about it awhile, plan for the changes adoption might mean. Anything to feel that there was still a chance for a baby to complete their life together.
What hurt even more was that he hadn’t made love to her, hadn’t tried to soothe her feelings of emptiness. Back when they were trying so desperately to get pregnant, their lovemaking had become more mandatory than spontaneous. But since they’d stopped trying, they’d rediscovered the joy of making love in their king-size bed.
She glanced around the room, remembering how happy she’d been when they bought this home with its four bedrooms—bedrooms she’d hoped to fill with their children. Her gaze returned to Aidan’s face, relaxed in sleep, and she felt even more determined to encourage him to talk about adoption.
He stirred and her heart soared. She rose and went to the bed, sat beside him, soaking in his scent, smoothing the tufts of his glossy auburn hair mussed by the pillow. “Are you awake?” she whispered.
“Hmm.” He reached up, his fingers trailing through her blond hair, tantalizing her with his touch, the feel of his skin on hers, the very presence of him filling her with joy.
He moved the sheets back, his arm reaching out to surround her. “Get in here, woman. I’m not ready to get up just yet, and you don’t need to sit in the cool air,” he said, his voice deep, his smoldering look banishing everything but her need for him.
She snuggled in, pulling the sheet over her half-naked body. “What were you doing up so early?” he asked, kissing her chin, his hands smoothing the hair from her face. “You’re not up checking your temperature, are you?” He gave her an inquiring glance. “I thought we were done with that.” He pushed a pillow under his shoulders, pulling her tighter into his embrace and kissing her, a long, slow kiss that melted every bone in her body.
“We are,” she said, her throat feeling blocked while the memories played around her mind—the hope, the effort, the beautifully decorated nursery, the agony of loss...all of it for nothing. What should have been happy, wonderful years of starting a family had become the most desolate time of her life.
He tucked her close to his side, his lips brushing her forehead. “This is hard for you, and for me, but the doctors had to tell us the truth. We have to accept that. We’ve got to move on.”
“I know. But weren’t you excited about my news last night?” she asked, stroking his chin, watching to see how he’d respond. Maybe after a night’s sleep he was ready to talk about when they could see the adoption lawyer.
He sighed. “We need to really think about this a little more. After what we’ve been through, it’s a huge decision.”
“I realize that.” She continued to gently touch his face, feeling the light stubble there. He didn’t pull away as he had last night. “But the adoption lawyer has made such a big difference in Cecilia and Dave’s life. I want to talk to him. I decided to call his office to see if we could get an appointment...if you’re willing to go with me.”
“What was his name again?”
“Sterling Martin. I told you all of this last night,” she said, feeling frustrated but trying to hide it. “His office is just off King Street. He specializes in private adoptions. Cecilia and Dave are so happy with their new baby. James P is such a perfect child.”
Aidan’s fingers trailed along her collarbone, something he did whenever they talked about having a child. “Honey, I know how important this is to you. To us. But just this once, can we wake up and think about something else? Like maybe a vacation to Europe. We always said we wanted to go. Remember? All those times we watched our friends take off on vacation to some place interesting while we stayed home because of your worries about what could happen if you conceived while we were out of the country.”
His words stung. She understood his feelings and, at times, had shared them. But he didn’t understand how much she needed a baby. Her arms ached every time one of her friends had a baby. Then, when Cecilia and Dave had adopted, Grace finally felt hopeful over the possibility she and Aidan might, too. He simply needed more time to think about it, and she was willing to wait. “Sure. Why don’t I make breakfast for us? I promise not to talk about adoption.”
“That’s my girl. All I really want to do is spend time with you. Just you. Would that be okay?”
“I would love that,” she said, recognizing the expression on his face. He wasn’t going to talk about a child right now. It was up to her to accept that and have a pleasant breakfast with him. But that didn’t mean she was giving up. Not a chance.
Suddenly, she brightened. She knew what she’d do. She would invite Cecilia and Dave to dinner, maybe a good Southern barbecue evening. Cecilia’s praise for Sterling Martin would carry more sway than anything Grace herself could say at this point. Aiden had a great deal of respect for Cecilia, one of the computer engineers in his firm.
He rubbed her shoulder, his fingers circling the skin over her collarbone—a clear sign that Aidan had something on his mind, something he wasn’t ready to share with her. “What is it, honey?”
He sighed. “Just thinking that it would be nice if you came with me today. I have a client I have to see in downtown Charleston. But I want you with me.” He held her closer, running his lips along her hairline, driving her crazy with need. “Once I’m finished, we could have lunch, take a carriage ride around historic Charleston, buy something for your garden at one of the stalls at the market. We’ve often talked about going into the city and spending time wandering the shops. Why don’t we do it today? I want you with me,” he repeated slowly, his gaze searching her face, coming to rest on her lips.
“Oh, Aidan, I want that, too, but I promised Cecilia that we’d meet for lunch.” She looked into his hazel-green eyes, seeing the disappointment. Trying to soften the blow, she whispered, “I wish you’d come by and see this little baby. You will not be able to resist him.”
* * *
THE OLD GUILT swirled around Aidan’s mind. He didn’t want to talk about babies or adoption or anything related to that today. He wanted his wife to pay attention to him and only him, to focus on their relationship. That was all he’d wanted for the past seven years: her undivided attention on him and their love for each other. Was that so much to ask?
He’d done everything she wanted, raced home when she called him, tried to console her when each attempt to conceive failed. But at times it hardly seemed worth it. Their marriage had become a marathon of waiting, hoping and frantic lovemaking, all to try to have a baby.
He didn’t want to remember the one time he’d slipped up, but that weekend entered his mind, as it had a few minutes ago. It had happened five years ago and was long over. He’d hooked up with a woman, a client whose business was in Spartanburg. He’d never heard from her again after that one weekend, and didn’t intend to renew any contact. All the same, he felt guilty about how much he had enjoyed having a woman’s attention focused solely on him. He scrubbed his face with his hands to hide the memory of how that weekend had felt. Sighing, he turned to Grace. “Are you sure you can’t come with me?”
“I’d have to call and cancel lunch with Cecilia, and I want to see James again.” Grace sighed as she snuggled closer to him.
He soaked in her smile, felt the old pull of attraction that had been there between them since the day they’d met in high school.
His eyes focused on hers, he saw the glint of desire there, and his mind raced over the possibilities. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman, a wife. There had to be some way to convince her to come to Charleston with him. “Why don’t I book a suite at the Planters Inn? We could go out to dinner, or order room service, a bottle of wine...just the two of us. We haven’t stayed downtown in Charleston in years. What do you say?”
“A night in Charleston?” she asked.
“Or two nights, if you’d like. Beautiful surroundings, all the amenities. Think fluffy robes, nothing on under them. Pure luxury in a suite all to ourselves. Me reaching for you,” he whispered in her ear, hearing her breath quicken as his body hardened.
He kissed her lips, felt her body curve into his. His blood hot, his body arching toward hers, he felt her immediate response as if it was imprinted into his consciousness.
“I would do anything for you, Aidan Caldwell Fellowes,” she said, her lips on his throat, her breath searing his skin.
“And me for you,” he whispered, pulling her under him as his lips sought the soft skin between her breasts.
Her quick intake of breath was all he needed. He continued to kiss her skin, moving his tongue along the space between her breasts. “If you come with me to Charleston, I promise you the best time you’ve ever had, Mrs. Fellowes.” He raised his gaze to hers. “You will not regret a minute of the time you spend with me.”
She sighed, her hands stroking his face, her skin flushed pink.
He eased his hands over her tummy, down along her hips, hugging her body against his. “What do you say?”
She looked deep into his eyes, her lips parted, her hair spread across the pillow. “You never cease to amaze me, Aidan,” she whispered, her fingers continuing their course over his cheek, down his neck.
“How so?” he asked, loving this game, this moment when she would succumb to him. It had always been that way. He would entice her with something, a dinner out, a trip, a night in, just the two of them. Until recently, Grace had always gone along with his plans. And now, with the whole issue of a baby settled, he wanted them to go back to the beginning, back to the way things were.
“I agree we need to get away, time to ourselves. It would be really nice to spend a couple days in Charleston. You win, my love. I’ll cancel my lunch date.”
He kissed her, cradling her head in his hands. “Thank you. You won’t regret going with me. Besides, how can you resist the chance to have me all to yourself?” he teased, aware of the times he’d wanted her to go away with him when he’d be gone for days without her, and she’d remained at home, either for a doctor’s appointment, redecorating the baby’s room or a quilting event.
“Aidan, I love you,” she whispered as her body writhed under his caress, a groan of pleasure escaping her lips.
“And I love you,” he murmured against her skin.
Two hours later, he and Grace arrived in Charleston. “Why don’t I drop you somewhere along King Street, give you a little time to shop? And before you say anything about the cost, I want you to buy whatever you want. Promise me you’ll do that,” he said.
She smiled at him, her body still humming from the time they’d spent in bed making love. It was as if everything that had stood between them, all the pain and uncertainty of the past few years, had slipped away. It was as if they were back to the way they’d been when they first got married.
Aidan was so right about what they needed—the time together without anyone interfering. She smiled at the memory of those early morning hours. As they’d packed to leave, joking and talking with each other the way they once had, she was certain they would work everything out.
She was confident that this trip was meant to be. The next couple of days together would work its magic on them. She’d never stayed at the Planters Inn, but she’d heard about it from a friend who had spent her wedding night in one of its beautiful suites. Grace had helped her plan her big day and had seen the photos of the inn, all gold and cream with deep hues of blue and roses everywhere. She couldn’t imagine a more perfect place for a getaway. “I promise to buy whatever I see that I like,” she offered, stroking his arm.
“Perfect. I’ll call you the second I’m out of my meeting and we’ll go for a late lunch,” he said, navigating the tight lanes of traffic leading toward Broad Street, the hallmark of Charleston civility.
“I wish we’d planned to do this with Lucas and Maria. She’s such a great shopper, and we always have a good time together. I was never so happy as when Lucas arrived back from a business trip to Spartanburg to tell me he’d met the woman of his dreams. Do you think they’ll get married? I mean, Lucas talks about her all the time, and I want him to be as happy as we are.”
“Lucas and Maria are not on my mind at all. They have their life and we have ours,” he said, his gaze direct, a small furrow forming between his eyes as he turned to her. “All I want is to let the world go away and you and I focus on us,” he said as he maneuvered the large SUV into a narrow parking spot.
“Okay. No more talk about anyone or anything but us,” she said. She didn’t want anything to ruin their minivacation. Reaching across the wide console, she squeezed his hand where it rested on the steering wheel. “I can’t wait for you to be finished. You’re right. We need to get away. Starting today, we’ll plan to do something like this once a month. We deserve time alone together, don’t we?”
“Exactly. Why can’t we just take off, act like a pair of teenagers in love? The way we used to do,” he said, his smile intimate, wrapping around her, signaling that whatever was bothering him had gone.
She kissed him quickly. “After I’m done shopping, I’ll call a cab and go to the inn. I’ll check in and be waiting for you. Just for you, I’m going to buy something really sexy to wear tonight.” She kissed him again before she reached for the door handle. “You’d better be ready,” she teased, seeing the love in his eyes. Her body tingled. “I’ll order a bottle of champagne.”
He pulled her to him and kissed her, his mouth moving over hers in a way that made her weak with desire. “I can’t wait, woman.” His smile radiated happiness as his lips brushed hers. “I’ll see you later. We’ll order room service and you can model your latest purchase...before I remove it.”
* * *
FIVE HOURS LATER, Aidan lay sprawled on the bed, Grace in his arms, the sheets crumpled around them, his need for her completely sated.
“You are the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, his throat filled with emotion as unexpected tears tingled behind his lids. He hadn’t felt this way for a very long time. He’d come to the inn and been met at the door of their suite by his wife dressed in a skimpy lace item that covered just enough and hinted at a lot more. He’d fallen into bed with her, and they’d had the best afternoon of lovemaking he could remember.
Slowly he kissed her lips, his fingers caressing her cheek. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
She returned his kiss. “I love you, too, so much,” she whispered, her gaze on him and only him.
“I’ve missed this,” he said, his heart filled to overflowing.
“What do you mean?” She toyed with the hair on his chest.
“The way we made love, the closeness, the sheer excitement of simply enjoying each other.”
She pulled back a little. “But we’ve always—”
He placed his fingers gently over her lips to silence her. “Not like this. Not with this intensity and simply for the sheer pleasure of being with each other.”
Her gaze never left his face, and he saw the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.
“I don’t mean to say we haven’t made love to each other these past years, but there was always the other—”
“We’ve been over this before,” she said, her voice soft with a tinge of hurt.
Aidan wished he’d said nothing. “I’m sorry. This has been fantastic, and I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just that I feel like I have you back. The Grace I married and have loved for so long. That’s all I meant. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Me, too,” she said, her voice wistful.
“Then let’s not think about anything other than ourselves for the next two days. If I have my way, we won’t leave this room. We won’t need to.” He leaned up on one elbow and smiled at her. “I don’t ever want to leave this bed, but I am a little hungry. Why don’t I order room service? Another bottle of champagne, even?” He winked at her.
Grace chuckled. “You think you’ll get me a little tipsy and have your way with me again?”
“I’ve already had my way with you. Or did I leave such a poor impression that you didn’t notice?” he asked, kissing her again, feeling the heat rise, the tremble of her lips against his.
“I noticed,” she whispered, her hands moving over his chest, feeding his desire.
He held her close, his mouth claiming hers, his hands spreading across her back, moving down her body, her answering intake of breath music to his ears. “Yes,” he whispered against her lips. “We will put food on hold for a while longer—”
The chime of his cell phone startled him. “What was that?”
“I thought you turned your phone off,” she said leaning across him, her breasts skimming his chest. “I’ll do it for you. No more interruptions.”
He let her slide across him, enjoying the feel of her body on his. “Whoever is calling can wait.”
Grace picked up the phone and turned it off. “There. You don’t know how much pleasure I get from turning off your phone. Do you realize that it’s always on? That we’re always at the mercy of that piece of plastic?” she asked, sliding her body down his, making his breath quicken as her fingers trembled over his heated skin.
“You can turn my phone off anytime, Mrs. Fellowes, if this is what you intend to do while it’s off,” he said, his hands reaching for her shoulders, his body arching toward hers.
“This and a whole lot more,” she murmured as her gaze met his, the love in her eyes fueling his need for her. He stretched out in the bed, luxuriating in her touch, anticipating every move her body made along his.
The room phone blared.
Grace sighed and shifted to lie next to him. “What is going on?”
“It must be important, or maybe it’s the inn wondering if we need anything. Either way,” he said, reaching for the sleek black phone on the bedside table, “I’ll take care of it and we can get back to...” He looked into her eyes, saw her excitement and almost didn’t pick up the phone. “I’ll get this over as fast as I can.”
He grabbed the phone.
“Aidan, it’s Nancy. Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve had an urgent call from a lawyer in Spartanburg. He insists on talking to you now. He’s on the other line to be transferred to you.”
“Did he say what he wanted?”
“No. Just that he needed to talk to you as soon as possible. There seems to be some sort of emergency.”
He exchanged surprised glances with Grace. “But Lucas looks after our clients in Spartanburg. Did you tell him that?”
“I did, but he said it’s a personal matter, that he needs to speak to you directly.”
“Okay, put him on,” Aidan said with a sigh, pulling Grace closer as he settled in to hear what the man had to say.
“Hello, is this Aidan Fellowes?” a deep, gruff voice inquired.
“It is. What is so urgent that you need to speak to me today? I’ll be back in the office on Monday and we can talk then.”
“I’m afraid that won’t work. I have to ask you a few questions,” the man said.
“Who is this?” Aidan said, annoyed at the man’s presumption that he could dictate to him.
The phone was silent for a few moments. “It’s Larry Knowles. I’m the attorney for Deidre MacPherson.”
“I’m sorry,” Aidan said, his mind scrambling over the possibilities. Deidre had never attempted to contact him after their long-ago weekend together. “Why are you calling me? I have no connection to that person.”
“Ms. MacPherson was killed in an automobile accident on Thursday. According to her will, you are sole beneficiary of her estate with the proviso that you become the legal guardian of her daughter, Emma.”
Aidan swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. “You’ve got the wrong person. This is a mistake.”
“Not according to what I’m reading here.” He could hear the rustle of pages and a short pause. “She states that you are Emma’s father. She wants you to be her daughter’s guardian and to adopt her as soon as possible. When you do, you will receive the total of her estate worth over five million dollars. Her will is very clear on this point. Did you have no idea that she’d done this?”
It wasn’t possible. He couldn’t be the father of Deidre’s child. They’d spent a weekend together. Nothing more. He’d tried unsuccessfully for years to get his wife pregnant. What was the likelihood that he’d fathered a child with another woman?
This story had to be a lie. Obviously, Deidre had decided to make him responsible for a child he’d never met and couldn’t possibly have fathered. He took a deep breath. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think this conversation has gone far enough,” he said forcefully, his eyes meeting Grace’s anxious expression as she snuggled under his arm, the gentle touch of her hand offering him her support.
“No. It hasn’t. Not until you agree...” More paper shuffling. “I have here a document, a DNA test that Ms. MacPherson had done on her child and you. You are the father of Emma Leigh MacPherson. We need to talk. When can you be in Spartanburg, Mr. Fellowes?”
“There has to be a mistake. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aidan said, the lie slipping so easily off his tongue.
Aidan’s stomach rose against his chest as his mind raced over the words this man had spoken. Something was wrong. This couldn’t be happening. It had been years ago, another lifetime, and none of it had meant anything to him. Grace knew nothing about that weekend, had never questioned any of his business trips.
His wife was a Christian who believed that the truth was a guiding principle in life. He believed it, too. He hadn’t wanted to lie to her about that weekend, and so had pleaded a heavy workload in Spartanburg.
He didn’t want to lie to her now, but he had no choice. If she found out that he’d fathered a child while they were trying to get pregnant, she would be devastated. He had no doubt that she would leave him. He couldn’t let that happen. Not over a mistake he had always regretted.
It had nothing to do with their life now. Grace’s happiness meant everything to him. He glanced furtively at his wife, seeing a look of confusion on her face, wishing he could end the call and it would all simply go away.
“What is going on?” she asked, sitting up straighter, slipping away from his side.
He had to do something to save the situation before he was forced to use words that would cause Grace to be suspicious. “Look, Mr. Knowles. We can discuss this on Monday. I’m sure there is some misunderstanding. We’ll clear it up then.”
“That won’t work. This child, your daughter, is living with her nanny, but arrangements need to be made for her. There is no immediate family, and if you don’t take the little girl, other arrangements will have to be made. I need to see you tomorrow. I’ll be in my office. What time can you be here?”
“I can’t drop everything just because you want to meet,” Aidan said, trying to make sense of this, but even more, trying to absorb that he was supposedly the father of a child he’d never known existed.
He scrubbed his face in disbelief. If this proved to be true, how was he going to tell Grace? He pressed the bridge of his nose, concentrating on regaining control of the situation. Whatever was going on with this Mr. Knowles, he would not let it spill over into his life with Grace.
CHAPTER TWO (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
AT THE SUDDEN change in Aidan’s voice, a chill ran through Grace. Something was horribly, terribly wrong. She’d never seen Aidan look so awful, so confused and uncertain, in all the years she’d known him. “Honey, what is it?”
Grace watched his anxious expression as fear wrapped around her heart, blocking the air from her lungs. Had someone been hurt? Was it a friend? Someone at work? Lucas? Her body quaked at the thought. It couldn’t be her brother, could it? The way Aidan’s gaze moved around the room, never connecting with hers, was terrifying. Unable to help herself, she reached up to put her arms around his shoulders, needing to learn more with each passing minute. “What is going on, Aidan? What is it?”
Clutching the phone tighter to his ear, he turned away from her. “If you insist, I will be there tomorrow afternoon. Not a minute before. Whatever is going on here, I’m as anxious as you to get to the bottom of this.”
Relief whistled through her at his words, the strict business tone he used. From what he said, it was clear that no one was hurt or in trouble, at least, no one she knew. Yet the soft light from the window exposed the pallor of Aidan’s skin. “What’s wrong?” she whispered urgently.
“It’s nothing, a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up, that’s all,” he said, hanging up.
“What sort of misunderstanding?” she asked, as her nails bit into his shoulders.
“Someone died and I’m needed in Spartanburg tomorrow.” His tone was matter-of-fact, his expression grim, adding to her concern. She’d never known Aidan to respond to someone’s death with such anger. It was as if he didn’t believe what he’d been told.
“That’s awful. I’m sorry. But why did they call you? If it’s about business, why didn’t they call Lucas?”
He shook his head, still holding the phone as he rose from the bed and went to the window.
Grace went to him, wanting to comfort him. Taking his hand, she said, “Whatever is going on, I want to be there with you. Tell me who died.”
“It’s someone...I knew... A client.”
“Someone you knew? In Spartanburg?”
Aidan turned away, moving closer to the heavily draped window, his shoulders slumped.
She waited. He didn’t turn back to her, seek her out the way he did when something was bothering him. He’d been like that since the day they’d met. She could always rely on him to share his thoughts, whatever they were, good or bad.
“That was a call informing me about the death of Deidre MacPherson, the CEO of one of our major clients in Spartanburg. It seems I’m needed there urgently. Tomorrow at the latest.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. The only sound in the room was that of his long, agitated sigh as he placed the phone on the table, staring at it as if it had bitten him.
The set of his shoulders, the way he didn’t seem to see her or even be aware of her, made Grace realize that, for the first time in their marriage, he was lying to her. He was keeping something from her or he wouldn’t be so evasive. He’d hidden things from her before, like a surprise birthday party or when he gave her diamond earrings on their tenth anniversary. But they were surprises, not lies.
And this was a lie. She didn’t understand how she knew it was a lie. She’d never been suspicious of Aidan, had always trusted him completely. But now it was clear that there was something he was concealing, something so important to him that he was willing to lie to her about it. Her stomach lurched. “Aidan, what is going on? I’m your wife. You owe me an explanation.”
“That was her lawyer. He needs to talk to me.” Aidan glanced around, spotted his underwear and awkwardly pulled them on, all the while never once glancing in her direction.
“About what? And why you?” she insisted, though her heart pounded so hard in her ears she could barely hear.
“That woman, the one who died...” He searched the room for his shirt and pants. “She left her entire estate to me.”
“Why? Why would a woman leave you her money?”
“Because—” Aidan grabbed his clothes and got dressed hurriedly. “Because she’s crazy. She claims that she had a child. That the child is mine. I haven’t seen her in five years. I have no idea why she thinks her child is mine.” His look when he met her eyes was one of agony and despair.
Grace couldn’t breathe. She reached out to the drapes to support her as her knees began to buckle. His words cascaded over her, blocking her thoughts, filling her with disbelief and panic. A strangled cry emerged. “What are you talking about?” There had to be a mistake. Aidan and she couldn’t have children. All the testing proved that. She searched his face, seeking some sort of denial from him. “Tell me this isn’t true. This can’t be true. You can’t have a baby.”
“Grace, you need to sit down,” he said as he came to her, pulled her into his arms and led her to the sofa near the fireplace. “Let me try to explain what I believe is going on.”
“Did you have an affair with her?” she asked, her body shaking at the enormity of it all. Aidan in another woman’s bed. Aidan making love to another woman, his hands, his body on hers. The intimacy of the act, the love he was capable of making to Grace offered to another woman. “Tell me the truth!” she demanded, feeling sick to her stomach with anguish.
“Grace! I’m sorry. Really sorry.” He went down on one knee in front of her, his eyes pleading, his voice filled with remorse.
“Five years ago?” She heard a scream and realized it was hers. “You had an affair five years ago when we were trying to have a baby?”
“Not an affair. Not really.” He scrubbed his face with hands that shook. “You and I were going through a rough time.”
Her mind fumbled over his words. Her husband, the man she loved, had had an affair with another woman. He’d broken a solemn vow to her, one he’d taken before God. This couldn’t be true. But hadn’t he just admitted to it? “When? When did you do this?”
“I... Back when I managed our clients in Spartanburg. Before Lucas took over.”
“Is that why Lucas started going there? Is he aware of what is going on?”
“No. No one knows. It was just one weekend, and I’ve regretted it ever since.” He stared at the ceiling, then back at her. “I’ve never regretted anything more in my whole life.”
There were tears in his eyes, but it didn’t matter. No amount of tears could change what he’d just admitted to. “Regretted it,” she echoed. “You had sex with her and you regretted it.” She struggled to sort out her thoughts. This was all wrong.
“I swear I did not know she had a child. And I know it isn’t mine. I wouldn’t...couldn’t.”
“Stop! You just admitted to having sex with a woman who had a child. Your child.”
“No! Not my child!”
“You lied to me all this time. I didn’t lie to you. But you sure as hell lied to me. You had an affair with another woman.” She pounded his chest, grabbed his hair and pulled as hard as she could. “You destroyed everything!”
He winced. His eyes didn’t leave her face. “Grace, please stop. I don’t want to upset you.” He touched her bare leg.
“Upset me,” she seethed. “You’ve more than upset me, you bastard.” Suddenly she became aware that she was naked. Desperately wanting to cover herself, to feel whole and in control, she pushed his hand off her. “Get out of my way, Aidan. I’m getting dressed and getting out of here.”
“Grace. No. Don’t leave. Please let me try to explain. I realize that this is a huge shock for you. It’s a shock to me, as well.” Aidan reached for her again, but she pushed him away as she got off the sofa and moved across the room.
“A shock to you? Really?” she said, feeling the bitterness like a flush of acid seeping through her mind. Everything she loved and cherished had been swept from her life by his awful words.
He followed her as she moved around the room, gathering up her things. “I didn’t mean it that way. I mean getting the call and not knowing what was happening—” He lowered his head. “I’ve totally screwed up.”
For a fraction of a second, she almost went to him, to console him the way she always had.
But those days were dead and gone. She couldn’t let him touch her when she knew that he’d had an affair with another woman, and had lied to her about something so personal, so destructive that she would never trust him again. “If this is not your child, a DNA test will prove you’re not the father, won’t it?”
His expression filled with anguish, he glanced away.
Angry and disbelieving, Grace tried to remain calm. Struggling to get into her skimpy sundress and high heels, she hopped on one foot as she fastened her watch on her wrist. It seemed to be taking forever to get dressed. She just wanted to get out of here as soon as she could, away from the man who had destroyed her world.
A man, she now realized, she didn’t really know at all. “This woman you had sex with had the DNA test done, didn’t she?” She pointed at the phone, her voice rising. “That man. That lawyer wouldn’t be calling you if there wasn’t proof that you are the father of this woman’s child.”
“He says he has DNA proof. But I don’t believe it. We, you and I, can’t have children, and so this has to be some sort of awful mistake.”
Grace struggled to put on her earrings and finally gave up, throwing them on the floor. Aidan grabbed them from where they landed on the plush cream carpet. “I gave these to you,” he said, in a disbelieving tone. “They’re your favorites.”
“I don’t want jewelry bought out of guilt,” she said, striding into the bathroom. She combed her fingers through her hair, applied a little blush and gathered her cosmetics bag. She may just have been totally humiliated by her husband, but she was a Southern woman, and she would not leave the suite without looking in control and in charge.
In the bedroom, she shoved the remainder of her things into her suitcase. So many thoughts were crashing around her mind, each delivering yet another blow to her self-esteem. Her husband had had an affair and a child by another woman. “If this is true, it means that I’m the one who can’t have children, doesn’t it?”
“Grace, we’ve been over this dozens of times before. The doctors told us it was no one’s fault that we couldn’t have children. That some people simply can’t conceive. Please don’t do this.”
“I have no choice. I’ve waited our entire marriage for a baby, and now I learn that you are a father.”
“Grace, honey, I recognize this is hard for you. I wish I didn’t have to bring it up,” he said, his head lowered, his expression downcast.
“But you did and now I have to deal with it. How could you do this? To cheat on me, on us, is unbearable. And the fact that you didn’t recognize how hard this would be for me, to know you had a child when I couldn’t. You have destroyed everything.”
“Please, Grace, don’t say that. It’s not over between us. It can’t be. We love each other. I’ve hurt you and I will make it up to you somehow. I should have told you about the weekend with Deidre, but I didn’t want to hurt you over nothing. And it was nothing. Just a mindless fling because I was feeling so isolated and alone in our marriage. But that’s no excuse. I broke the promise I made to you. Please understand I never meant to hurt you. You, of all people. I love you, Grace.” His face was ashen, his eyes pleading.
“A mindless mistake showing your total disrespect for me, for our marriage, and I’m to believe that it’s as simple as you making a mistake? How stupid do you think I am?”
“I don’t think you’re stupid. I’m the stupid one for ever having anything to do with the woman.” Aidan stood still, misery an almost tangible aura around him.
“Well, it’s too late now. You can’t go back and undo what you did. And because of what you did, there is a child and you’re the father. Is it a girl or a boy?” she asked, feeling nothing, as if her body were floating off somewhere, that none of this was real.
“It’s a girl,” he said, his voice flat, as if the realization hadn’t yet dawned on him that he was a father.
“How old is she?” Grace demanded.
Aidan glanced around the room his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “I guess she’d be four or so.”
“What do you intend to do about her?” Grace asked.
Aidan gave a long sigh. “I don’t know. I figured it would get cleared up tomorrow.”
“If you’re so sure the child is not yours, maybe you should take our lawyer with you,” Grace said, trying to sound reasonable and in control even as her heart crumpled in her chest.
Her husband had fathered a child with a woman he’d had a weekend hookup with. That hurt in the worst way possible. All those times they’d hurried to make love while she was ovulating, only to be disappointed. All those times...the heartbreak she’d had to face...while he’d sought the attentions of another woman.
“Grace, I need to learn what I can about the situation. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should take our lawyer, but first I’d like to see for myself what is going on.” He rubbed his palms together. “I know it’s asking a lot, but would you go with me to Spartanburg?”
She was halfway to the door when he said the words. She stopped and turned around so quickly her overnight bag banged into the back of her leg, delivering a stinging blow. “Me? You’re asking me to go with you? You destroyed my faith in you, and now you want me to help you solve a problem all of your making.”
“I have no right to ask this. And you have every right to refuse me.”
“You got that right. For now, all I can think about is how you deceived me and slept with another woman while we were trying so hard to have a child of our own... Or, at least, I was trying,” she said, her voice failing her as betrayal and anguish swept through her. Without warning, humiliation burned her throat. Her head swam. “I don’t understand how you could have done this to me, to us,” she cried. “But you did. You destroyed our marriage.”
Instantly, he was at her side. “It was a stupid mistake. I was feeling as if the life we wanted together would never happen. I wanted a child so much. I wanted our life to be complete. I thought that you would be happy if only we could have a child. Then I started to feel trapped by all the doctor visits, the appointments, the expectations.”
She stepped away, her back straight, her eyes boring into him. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. Not ever again.”
“Grace, please listen to me. I was in Spartanburg working with a client, working hard and wishing I could be home with you, instead.”
“A client? You mean this Deidre MacPherson person?” Grace asked, trying to decide how much longer she could stand to be near him, knowing what he’d done to her.
Aidan held her shoulders, his touch gentle and kind, the way he always behaved when he wanted her to understand something going on with his work Without warning, the time he’d come to her, telling her they’d have to mortgage their home in order to meet a loan payment flashed in front of her. The threat that they might lose their home had been one of the worst moments of her life. To lose her home meant she would lose the place she dreamed of raising their children.
“Yes, it was Deidre MacPherson’s business. She had just landed a major contract and we were providing technical support. I had to stay over the weekend with my technicians to get the system up and running. We went out to celebrate and something happened. I never saw her again or had any form of contact. I swear—”
“I don’t want to hear it!” She glared at him, gritting her teeth.
He stepped back. “I didn’t mean to remind you... All I want you to know is that I have nothing to hide where she is concerned. And that includes whatever this lawyer has in mind for us. There is simply no way I am the father of that child, but this Larry Knowles isn’t going to let it go. He has to do what his client laid out in her will.”
The warmth of Aidan’s body mingled with his cologne, filling her nostrils, and for a few pain-filled moments she wished they could simply forget everything that had happened and go back to bed. Feeling deflated and faced with the anguish in his eyes, she relented a little. “Oh, Aidan, you have ruined everything. Everything you and I ever wanted or needed is gone for good. I don’t know you anymore.”
“Please don’t say that. I’ve gotten us into a terrible mess. And I will find a way out of it, if only you’ll give me a little time to make things right,” he said, his voice shaking.
Aidan looked into her eyes, into the depths of her, her heart and her soul. They had always had this connection, this one-to-one sensation whenever they spoke about those things close to their hearts. She wanted to reach out to him, to soothe him, but the agony of what he’d done left her feeling so betrayed and angry she could barely breathe. She couldn’t touch him knowing that another woman had touched him, probably in much the same way. “I don’t want to deal with this, any of this.”
“Neither do I, but this man won’t stop trying. And it might be better if we faced this head-on, like we would with any crisis in our lives. What do you think?” He held his breath. His gaze searched her face.
“What if we go and he has irrefutable proof that it’s your child?”
Once again, his hands reached for hers. She hugged herself, not letting him touch her.
“Grace, that’s not possible. The more I think about it, the less likely I think it is that it’s true. In my experience, she was always meticulous in her dealings with people. If I was the father of her child, why didn’t she tell me? I can’t help but believe that she would have wanted me to know, to share the responsibility for the baby, the cost of her education, all the things that are needed to care for a child. I can’t imagine that she wouldn’t have insisted that I help out. What woman wouldn’t?”
“What will we do if it is your child?” Grace asked, as she kept waiting to wake up from a bad dream, cry out and be cuddled by her husband, the way it had happened after other nightmares.
The thought that a child would come into their lives in such a destructive, personally tragic way was almost beyond believing. “If this child is yours, you’ve hurt an innocent child because of your careless behavior while destroying our marriage.”
Aidan stood perfectly still. “I realize that, Grace. And I have no idea how I’ll make it up to you, but I will. As for the little girl, we owe it to her to talk with this lawyer and see what proof he thinks he has that I’m her father.”
If she was to keep her marriage as God intended, and rebuild the trust they’d always shared, she had to work her way through this horrible mess. But she couldn’t do it without proof that Aidan was serious about making amends. “There is only one way I will consider being involved with you in this, and that is if you tell me everything. If I find out you’ve been lying to me about this woman, about your time with her, our marriage is over.”
“I have told you the truth. And there is zero chance that this is my child. You and I have been trying to get pregnant for years, and every doctor we went to couldn’t find the cause. I simply won’t accept without further DNA tests, that I could have fathered a child so easily. Not after all the times you and I have made love, all the procedures we went through. It’s as simple as that. From my point of view, this is a mistake on someone’s part. I want to get it straightened out so that you and I can go ahead with adopting a child.”
“Adopt a child? How can you even think of such a thing when our marriage is in so much trouble? Didn’t you just tell me that you’d had an affair, that there might be a child from that affair? You think that this will simply be over by you admitting to what you did?” she asked, shocked and angry.
“I didn’t mean right away. I meant after this is over.”
“Aidan, this won’t simply go away. The fact that you had an affair is bad enough. The thought that you had a child with this woman makes everything impossible. Can’t you see that?”
She stood with her hand on the door, her head pounding, and watched her husband’s face. A face she loved, had loved most of her life. And now, because of one phone call, it might all be over. “Well? Aren’t you going to say something?”
“Grace, I’m begging you to go with me. You can’t imagine how terrible I feel for the pain I’ve caused you. I want to make it up to you by being totally honest about all this. From now on, wherever this takes us, I want you with me.”
She heard the sincerity in his voice, saw the expression of remorse on his face, and her determination to walk out slipped from her. Whatever he’d done, however much he’d hurt her, she was still his wife and she had to allow him to make this right. Maybe he couldn’t, and she would have to live with that. But whatever came out of this, she didn’t want to end up regretting what she’d done, how she’d behaved.
As she stared at him, memories of their life flashed before her eyes, all the good times they’d had together would end up being for nothing if she acted too rashly. Deep down inside she wanted to believe that, despite everything, they might still have a chance.
“I don’t know if I can do this, any of it. You’ve hurt me in ways I could never have imagined. Right now I hate you, and I can’t imagine ever getting over what I’m feeling.”
“Grace, I’m so afraid,” he said, his hands working at his sides.
“Would you be willing to go for marriage counseling?” she asked.
“Of course. All I want is you, Grace. I want us to find each other again, to feel what we’ve felt all these years.”
She looked at the man she’d married ten years ago, at the light dusting of freckles on his cheeks, the way his eyes seemed to see straight through her. Was it possible she might have feelings for him again? That somehow their marriage would survive this? Love didn’t die easily. She’d seen her parents’ marriage and the trouble they’d gone through, the loss of faith when her dad’s gambling problem had nearly bankrupted the family. She had to believe that her marriage would survive this, that marriage counseling might help them regain the trust they’d lost.
But she had no idea how. And if it turned out that Aidan had been unfaithful, it could be the final blow to their marriage, something that Grace would never get over. To a part of Grace, it was simply unbelievable that her husband could have fathered a child when they’d done everything to have one of their own. No one had said it was her fault that they couldn’t conceive, but deep down, she blamed herself. Proving that Aidan hadn’t had a child by this woman would help ease her guilt that she was responsible for their infertility. If this whole thing was behind them, as Aidan said, they could go to counseling, reaffirm their marriage vows and work with the adoption lawyer to find a baby.
Grace took a deep breath to ease the tension headache. “Okay. I will go with you, but that’s all I’m willing to do.”
He grabbed her, held her tight. “I love you, Grace. So much,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking.
“We’ll get through this,” he whispered close to her ear. “There is nothing we can’t do if we put our minds to it. I made a mistake, but I’m willing to make it up to you. As for the child, there is no way that little girl is mine. And I’ll prove it by having the DNA testing redone in a reputable lab.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said, her voice low as she looked into his eyes.
“This is one giant mistake on someone’s part, and I’ll prove it.” He put his arm around her shoulders and led her to the sofa, all the while feeling her resistance. “I should never have told you about Deidre the way I did. It was thoughtless and hurtful. There’s nothing I can do to fix that, but if you’ll go with me while we establish that I’m not the father, then we can work on us.”
“It’s not that simple, Aidan. I’m not going to go along with whatever you want. I’ve had enough of that. You don’t really believe that this will be over so easily, do you?” she demanded, pushing his hands away.
“I don’t know, but I want to see if I can start to make things right with you. Grace, I can’t bear to lose you, and we will get through this. I’ll make a reservation at an inn in Spartanburg, and after all this is behind us we will continue what we started here,” he said. “That is, if you want to.”
“I don’t know what I want. The only thing I’m certain of is that this is a long way from over.”
Aidan saw the misery in his wife’s eyes and his heart contracted in his chest. How could he have done this to her? “Grace, I have been so damned stupid. You deserve better than what I’ve given you by way of explanation. I’m sorry about everything, but most of all I’m sorry for causing you such pain. Thank you for agreeing to come with me. And I promise you that we will figure this out. Just give us time.”
She gave him a harsh look he’d never seen before. His stomach sank as he realized the monumental task ahead of him.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, as they drove toward Spartanburg, would have been so pleasant if not for the impending meeting. Aidan had lain awake for hours wondering how the DNA test showed him to be the father. And if he was the father, why hadn’t Deidre told him? As he thought about it, he couldn’t help but wonder why, when she had no immediate family, she hadn’t told him—if it were true. No woman would want to go through a birth and the raising of a child without some sort of family support.
And why had she done the test if she didn’t plan to tell him? Had she had a relationship with another man and wanted to be certain that he couldn’t claim the child? She was obviously a rich woman. Had a man she’d dated tried to say the daughter was his?
The lawyer hadn’t said how old the little girl was. Maybe she was too young to be his daughter. He knew the exact weekend he’d spent with Deidre, so if the child had been born more than nine months after that, she couldn’t be his. Had Deidre appointed him guardian because she thought he would do what he could for her daughter, regardless of whether or not he was the father?
As he mulled it all over, he could not understand her motivations. No matter how he looked at it, he couldn’t figure out why she would keep the paternity of her daughter a secret, yet name him as the child’s father in her will. It made zero sense. Even if Deidre was trying to prevent another man from gaining custody of the child, there were more effective—and less destructive—ways to do so.
For now, he would concentrate on the road ahead and trying to ease Grace’s concerns about what they’d face at the lawyer’s office. “I booked us into the nicest inn around the area. Might as well enjoy being comfortable while we get this over with.”
He glanced at her, at the way her golden hair fell around her cheeks, at her beautiful lips and the set of her chin. All features he was intimately acquainted with and loved about her. He squeezed her hand. “We’re going to be fine. This will be settled easily. I’ll have our lawyer look after the details of a second DNA test and then we’ll head back home. When we get home I’d like us to plan a trip to Europe. We’ve talked about it, but now I think we should do it. We’ve earned our time away to explore all those places we learned about in school. What do you say?”
“Aidan, will you stop? We—if there is a we when this is over—have more important things to deal with.”
“But all this doesn’t change the fact that we deserve a wonderful trip away from here, from my business and all that it entails. I’m also offering you the shopping trip of a lifetime—anywhere in Europe you’d like to go. You’ll have a chance to shop to your heart’s content. Will you think about it?”
“Let’s get this meeting over first,” Grace said, her lips set in a firm line.
She didn’t touch his arm as she often did when they were driving together. He missed her touch, the way it made him feel.
They drove into downtown Spartanburg to the address they had for the law office. It was an elegant older home just off the main street with a wide verandah and tall white columns flanking the entranceway. Upon entering the cool, open foyer, they were greeted by a woman wearing an impeccable navy suit. She smiled at them as she introduced herself and led them to a quiet, high-ceilinged room at the rear of the building. “Mr. Knowles will be with you momentarily. Is there anything I can get either of you? A coffee perhaps? Soft drink?”
“Nothing for me,” Aidan said as Grace shook her head.
Aidan focused on the space to keep his mind from what was about to happen. The wood paneling and large window with teal satin drapes that looked out into the back garden dominated the room. There was no desk, only an antique table and chair placed along the wall near the window. The opposite wall contained a credenza that spanned its length. “This isn’t your typical lawyer’s office,” Aidan said to overcome the hushed silence of the room.
“This must be one of those boutique law firms that specializes in estate work,” Grace said, remaining where she’d stood since they walked into the room.
He came toward her, his arms aching to wrap her in his embrace. “Are you okay? You were pretty quiet in the car.”
She shrugged. “What did you expect from me under the circumstances?”
“I—I don’t know. Maybe a word of encouragement?”
“Really? You wrecked my life. You insisted that I come here. What more can you ask of me?”
The door opened and a man entered, his navy tailored suit and gold tie a perfect accent for the room, his dark hair and mustache impeccable. “I’m Larry Knowles. So glad you could make it today,” he said without shaking hands. “Shall we get started?” he asked, pointing to the two chairs across from the table. He smoothed his tie as he sat. “Mr. Fellowes, as I explained on the phone, you have been named by Ms. MacPherson to be guardian of her only daughter. She has left very clear instructions as to how this will be worked out.”
“Please stop right there. My wife and I, for personal reasons, do not believe that I am the biological parent of this child. We want the DNA test done by a reputable lab of our choosing before we go any further with this discussion.”
Larry Knowles sat back in his chair, a surprised look on his face. “DNA is conclusive proof as far as I’m aware.”
“That’s assuming that the samples gathered were handled correctly, and that the lab followed strict procedures. I am not aware as to how or where my DNA was collected, and if it was collected in such a way to establish it was mine. It certainly was done without my permission. How have you determined that the DNA used to establish paternity was, in fact, mine?” he asked, his gaze locked on this annoying man who seemed so confident.
“It’s true that I cannot personally vouch for the authenticity of the sample. Of course, I’m relying on Ms. MacPherson’s information,” the lawyer said, showing his first moment of uncertainty.
“Then it only seems right to me, given how much is at stake, that the testing be done again. I’m sure there is lots of Ms. MacPherson’s DNA still present in her home, and I’m willing to provide a fresh sample for examination.”
Larry Knowles looked straight at Aidan, started to say something, then stopped. He glanced quickly at Grace, then back to Aidan. “I have no reason whatsoever to doubt Deidre MacPherson. She was a friend as well as a client. But I do see your point. My only wish is that you do it quickly as possible. Emma is living in her home with her nanny, and this needs to be resolved.”
“What happens to Emma when it is proven that my husband isn’t the father?” Grace asked.
“You have to understand that Deidre was absolutely positive that your husband was the father of her little girl. Having no close family she wanted to give her daughter to, she chose the biological father as guardian in the event Deidre didn’t live to see her child grow to adulthood. If, for whatever reason, your husband doesn’t take the child, she will be a ward of the state, which means that foster care will have to be arranged,” the lawyer said.
“Are you certain there is no family for her?” Aidan asked. “None at all?”
“A cousin who is in her sixties.” The lawyer glanced between them. “Look, I know this is a shock for both of you. And I understand you feel there has been a serious mistake made. If you’ll give me the name of the lab you want to deal with, I will make arrangements for Emma to be tested along with you. But in the meantime, Deidre had one more request.”
“What is it?” Aidan asked, suddenly afraid that it might be some sort of burial request since she had no family. He didn’t want to put Grace through anything more than was necessary.
“Deidre put together a video of Emma’s life over the past four years. It’s simply a visual portrait of a little girl who was the light of her mother’s life. They were very close and Emma is a beautiful little girl. Deidre wasn’t certain how you’d respond to her last wishes and so she requested that you watch the video before you left my office. It won’t take long.”
He opened a drawer and brought out a laptop, setting it on the desk in front of Aidan and Grace. A few clicks and the screen glowed blue before the picture of a newborn appeared. “I’ll leave you to watch the video and be back in a few minutes.”
Unable to stop himself, Aidan leaned toward the screen. Slowly photos emerged, showing an infant asleep in her car seat, followed by her first steps and her wide smile, dressed in a Halloween teddy bear costume. A woman’s voice, carefully modulated, yet warm and upbeat, filled the room.
“Is that Deidre speaking?” Grace asked.
A chill ran along his shoulders. It felt as if Deidre were in the room. “Yes, I believe so... It’s been a while.” He would have recognized her voice anywhere. It was such a distinct mix of Southern drawl and New England twang.
“The child is so sweet.” Grace sighed. “How lucky she was to have such a beautiful baby girl.”
Slowly the images shifted to show the home she lived in, the front steps and the street in front of Deidre’s house. There were closer shots showing Emma’s rosy complexion and her glossy red curls. Aidan recognized the backgrounds in the photos—all were places around Deidre’s home and office.
Grace took his hand. “Have you seen any of these before?”
“No. Never,” Aidan said as the video showed Emma in a pink party dress, her red curls framing her face. There was something so familiar about her, about the way she cocked her head and smiled at the camera. Deidre could be heard in the background wishing Emma a happy third birthday.
The camera panned close, so that Emma’s face filled the screen. Aidan stared for a minute, slowly becoming aware of something he couldn’t mistake for anything other than what it was.
“Aidan. Look!” Grace cried. “She’s got the same cleft in her chin as you have. And her smile. Oh, God. Aidan. Her smile is yours.”
Aidan swallowed against the impact of the little girl’s face. She did have his chin... “A lot of people have the same feature. Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Fear mixed with foreboding clutched his heart. He moved his chair closer to Grace’s and pulled her hand into his lap. “This little girl is beautiful, but she could be anyone’s little girl,” he said, unable to grasp the truth of what he’d seen a few minutes ago.
The next photo was of Emma hugging a large teddy bear. Deidre’s voice could be heard once again. “Aidan, if you’re watching this, it means I am gone. I need you to care for our daughter. I had the DNA testing done just a few months after Emma was born. There is no doubt that you’re the father. Emma has your smile, your curls and that cute little cleft in her chin. My last wish is that you provide her with a loving home and care for her in my stead.”
The next photo slid onto the screen, a close-up showing Emma laughing at the camera as she clutched another teddy bear, this time a black one with a big red bow, her round cheeks glowing. She moved up close to the camera. Close enough to see every feature on her tiny face. The smile was so endearing, the little girl so happy and carefree. This beautiful child was innocent and would pay the price if he denied her.
“She is your daughter and you are her father. Please love her with all your heart as I have. Please,” Deidre pleaded.
Grace pulled her hand away. “You believe her, don’t you,” she said, her voice cold and distant.
Disbelief shook him. What if this little girl was his daughter? What would he do if she were? Even the thought, the possibility of a child opened something inside him, something he’d never really felt before. He looked at Grace, saw her anguish and put his arm around her shoulders.
Grace pushed him away.
There had to be some mistake. It was so unreal—the lawyer’s call, the emotional trip here, the realization that there was a pretty good chance Deidre’s daughter was also his. “Grace, we are going to have the DNA test redone. We’ll pick a lab back in Charleston and I will pay whatever it takes to have the testing done as fast as possible. We won’t jump to any conclusions until then.” He cleared his throat. “This is so difficult for you, finding out that I had relations with Deidre. I’ve hurt you in ways I never intended...ever. But we’ll work this out, somehow. You’ll see.”
Grace wrapped her arms around her middle and nodded at the screen. “Aidan, look at her. She is so much like you in her appearance and her smile. How could you think this isn’t your child?” Her voice sounded choked with tears as she huddled in the corner of her chair.
“Grace, please, let’s wait and see.” As the video ended, despite his denials, he knew Emma was his daughter. He knew because the close-up shot revealed that Emma’s left eye held the same tiny glint of a different color that his mother’s had. A bit of pale yellow in the blue of the iris. A family trait. “Let’s get that lawyer in here and then we can arrange the testing. After that, we’ll go home and wait for the results.”
He rose, waiting for his wife to stand, resisting the urge to take her in his arms and convince her that what had happened five years ago had been long over, even before it began. “I love you. My relationship with Deidre was wrong and a complete betrayal of you and of us. Whatever the tests show, I want you to know that I have never loved anyone the way I love you.”
Slowly Grace stood, being careful to stay away from him. Regardless of what he wanted, he knew she would not allow him to touch her. “My only hope is that you see your way clear to forgive me,” he said.
Without looking at him, she said, “Aidan, I can’t forgive you. Every part of my life has changed, all because you betrayed what we had together.”
CHAPTER THREE (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER Grace placed a seafood casserole in the oven and set the timer. Her words in the lawyer’s office had proven prophetic, because everything about her life had changed. The drive home had been a long, silent one with each mile forcing her to face the cold truth. She could think of little else but what Aidan had done with that woman—a woman who claimed that her child was his.
The easy closeness Grace and Aiden had shared had disappeared as if it never existed. She’d moved into the guest bedroom, too tired to sleep as her mind went over that day at the Planters Inn.
Meanwhile, Aidan behaved as if nothing had changed. He’d worked long hours, as he always did. Because of his behavior, Grace couldn’t help but worry that maybe Deidre wasn’t the only affair he’d had, that he might have spent the past few nights in the arms of another woman. She was embarrassed at how naive and foolish she’d been to never question anything her husband had told her. She’d even considered hiring a private detective to follow him, something she was deeply ashamed of, but she’d found herself doing all sorts of things she would never have dreamed of a month ago.
She’d given everything, every part of herself, to her marriage. She’d never once considered having an affair, and she despised the fact that her husband had felt the need to have one. Sure, it had been rough going through the tests, trying to have a baby. But he wasn’t the only one wishing that it could be over while praying for a baby to make their life together complete.
What hurt most was that now she had to face the fact that he didn’t want a baby nearly as much as she did. He could deny that, but it was true. He’d seen fit to have a fling with someone during the darkest period of her life, and he’d resisted talking to the adoption lawyer.
She’d begun to realize that all her plans for a happy life with Aidan that included children lay in ruins. A part of her was sure that there was nothing left between them.
She realized that most of her friends would see her willingness to try to repair her marriage as degrading and pointless, given his infidelity. But despite these past few weeks, she knew Aidan to be a decent man.
To talk about adoption in the middle of this crisis was pure denial on her part. Yet she hadn’t let go of that dream, that possibility of getting a child. She supposed, underneath it all, she needed to keep her life as normal as possible and to believe that she and Aidan had a chance to survive this if they worked hard enough.
So she’d made dinner. For them and two of their friends, Cecilia and Dave. As though everything was fine. As though Grace and Aidan were actually considering adoption. It was better than facing the evening alone, which was what she’d been doing since seeing the photos of Emma.
Aidan came up behind her and put his hands on her waist, something that had always made her lean back into his embrace. “Grace, I’ve finished setting the table. Anything else I can do?” he whispered close to her ear, sending tiny points of excitement hurtling down her body. She resisted the urge to lean into him and, instead, ran hot water into the sink in preparation for cleaning the frying pan and spatulas she’d used.
He continued to hold her gently yet securely. She was powerless to resist him. “Grace, I know how hard this has been for you, this waiting and wondering.”
She turned in his arms and gazed into his eyes, his body’s warmth drawing her closer. “If you really know how difficult this is for me, why haven’t you stayed home with me during the evening? It’s lonely here with no one to talk to about all this.”
He bowed his head, his forehead touching hers. “I wish I had. Most of the time I sat in my office trying to face the truth about me, about what I’d done, how stupid I felt. Wherever my thoughts took me, one thing remained the same. This is my fault. I hurt you. I’m sorry. So sorry for what I did. I can’t say it enough.”
She wanted to resist him, make him pay for what he did to her, to them. But she needed his arms around her, needed to feel his body pressed into hers. She missed him so much, his lovemaking, his caring touch, the feeling that they would always be together. She put her arms around his neck and raised her face to his.
He reacted with a deep sigh of need, his lips touching hers, demanding and hot. She angled her body closer, feeling his erection against her tummy and writhing against it.
“Oh, Grace. I’ve missed you so much,” he said against her mouth, his breath hot on her lips.
“Me, too,” she whispered, pulling him closer, her need for him sweeping all other thoughts from her mind.
He picked her up. “We’ve got time,” he said, holding her tight as they started for the bedroom.
“You’re going to carry me upstairs?” she said, surprised. “You haven’t done that in years.”
“I may spend my days behind a desk but I can still carry my wife upstairs,” he said, his embrace firm as he maneuvered through the living room toward the stairs just as the phone rang.
A mechanical voice blared from the phone on the hall table. “Call from Knowles Attorney at Law. Call from Knowles Attorney at Law.”
He stopped. She slid from his arms. They stared at each other.
“You’d better take it,” Grace said, her voice strained, her heart doing a slow, hard pound in her chest. She watched her husband’s face as he spoke with the lawyer, his eyes on hers as he listened.
“I understand. So it’s conclusive.” He fidgeted with the handheld unit, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes swerving around the room. “Thanks. Yes. Please fax the results to my office as soon as you can.” He hung up, coming toward her, pulling her into his arms, his body pressed to hers. “The test results prove that Emma is my daughter. I can’t believe this. I have a daughter... How could I have a daughter?”
A chill ran down Grace’s spine. He said the words with a reverence she hadn’t heard from him before. “You mean you have a daughter.”
“I can’t believe it,” he said again, as if he hadn’t heard her, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “But deep down, I knew by the spot of color in her left eye. I saw it. Mom had the same spot, the same yellow area in her iris.”
Grace stepped out of his arms. “You were sure the day we saw the video, but you didn’t tell me. You let me hope that there might be a chance that the DNA test was wrong. How could you?” she demanded.
He glanced at her, his expression gentle. “I wanted to protect you as long as I could. But, yes, I knew that Emma was my daughter. I don’t know how it could have happened, but it did.”
Anger flooded her at his selfish words. “How can you stand there and tell me you don’t know how it happened?” All these nights, he hadn’t been sitting in his office worried about her. He’d been thinking about his daughter and what that would mean to him. All the while, Grace had been home alone trying to make sense of what was going on and missing him with her whole heart.
“What do you mean?” he asked startled.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Aidan. You made this happen by having sex with this woman. How can you stand there and pretend this was fate when you broke our marriage vows?” Grace demanded, so angry she could barely breathe. “Stop lying to yourself,” she said as she stomped upstairs, anger filling her mind and soul with the stark realization that her marriage was over.
She turned at the top of the stairs to face him where he stood at the bottom looking up at her. “You had your fling and now you have your child. Congratulations.” With that she went into the guest bedroom and slammed the door. Throwing herself on the bed she cried until there were no tears left.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, Grace awoke to the sound of the phone ringing, once again the stupid, mechanical voice announcing the caller, only this time, it was her friend Cecilia’s name. Grace didn’t have a clue whether they’d shown up last night or not. She hadn’t been able to hear anything over her tears.
Her whole life had been tossed, and that was all she could think about. She assumed that Aidan had dealt with dinner, but she couldn’t bring herself to care what he did. She owed her friends an apology, but she couldn’t do it right now. Her head ached, her mouth was dry and her whole body felt numb.
She heard Aidan’s voice, his consoling tone and his offer to have her call Cecilia back when she got up. But she wasn’t getting up for a very long time. Her life in this house was over. The man she’d thought she knew didn’t exist anymore. And instead, she was faced with the fact that her husband was completely absorbed with his present circumstances, leaving her to work out her feelings toward him alone, to cope with the loss of her dream all over again.
She heard Aidan come up the stairs and scrambled to bury herself under the covers. When the door opened she called out, “What do you want?”
He entered the room, standing next to the door. “We need to talk, Grace.”
“You’re the one with the secrets. Why don’t you start?” she asked sarcastically. She was done trying to be the perfect, caring wife.
“Last night was difficult for you, and again, I’m sorry.”
She wanted to stay buried beneath the duvet, but if he was going to stand there talking, she decided to face him, to not back down or allow any feelings she had left for him sway her. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have anything to say and better to get it over now. She sat up, bracing herself against the mound of pillows. “Aidan, if you’d behaved like my husband and not some philandering shell of a man, you wouldn’t have to apologize. You have singlehandedly destroyed our marriage. I hope you’re proud of what you’ve done.”
She saw the hurt in his eyes, the way his hands shook as he held them against his face. “That was mean of me, but you deserved it,” she said, swinging her feet over the side of the bed while hugging the duvet close to her body, realizing, as she looked at her feet, that she was still dressed in the clothes she’d worn yesterday.
“You’re right. But we have to talk. I called the lawyer this morning, and he wants to know if we’re going to be in Spartanburg sometime this week to settle the estate.”
“What do you want me to do about it? She’s your daughter. And her mother was your lover,” she said sarcastically.
“She is our daughter, and she’s going to be part of our lives. I want to talk this over with you. I need to have your support on this.”
“My support?” She gawked. “You think after everything you’ve done that you’re entitled to my support?”
“You’re my wife, and you will be Emma’s mother.”
“Aidan! Wake up! I am not Emma’s mother and I’m not your wife. You made sure of that.” She couldn’t look at the sorrowful expression on his face any longer. Instead, she focused on the embroidered edge of the duvet.
“Grace, Emma is my daughter. I can’t abandon her now that her mother is gone.”
“Aidan, you’re not being fair. How long have I waited to have a baby, to share every bit of the experience with you? And now there’s this...this child, who will remind me every single day of my life that my husband has been unfaithful, appears and I’m supposed to be her stand-in mother?”
Grace balled her fingers into fists. “You should have been honest with me. About the affair and about this child. You knew the truth when we were at the lawyer’s office. And again you didn’t respect me enough to tell me the truth.”
Aidan rushed to the side of the bed and knelt in front of her. “I should have. I know that. And I have no explanation other than my own stupidity, my need not to have you angry at me. But now there is a child in our lives who just lost her mother and who will be going through a terrible time. I can’t leave her to deal with that without me. I—I can’t.”
His gaze implored her to understand. “I realize that this is a lot for you to understand and accept, but Emma needs me...needs us.” He took her hand in his, his fingers gently stroking the soft skin of her wrist. “I can’t imagine what life will be like for Emma now that her mother is gone. She’s only four and she is going to be alone if we don’t help her.”
“Why do you keep saying we?” Grace asked, feeling her throat tighten.
“If you’d come with me, you’d have a chance to see her and offer your caring and support. Grace, you’re the most loving and kind person on the planet. And there is a little girl in need of everything you have to offer. Don’t pass up the chance to help her because of the mistakes I made. Don’t make her life more miserable because of something I did. I will do anything you ask if you will come to Spartanburg with me.”
Grace looked into his eyes and saw the truth of his words. He wanted to go to his daughter, and she wanted him to go. Despite her hurt and her fear of how this child would change their lives, she wanted him to go to his little girl. She wanted the little girl to have all the support and understanding possible. But Grace could not go there with him. Couldn’t act as if nothing had happened, as if her life hadn’t been tossed in the garbage by the man who claimed to love her.
Yet, he had a point; there was a child who needed all the support she could give. “Why do you need me? There must be other people to help out. People she already knows. People who love her. What about Deidre’s friends?”
“I don’t know who Deidre’s friends are, but the only way I can find out is to go back to Spartanburg.”
That he would be unfaithful to her after all they’d been through, after all the time they’d loved each other—it still was inconceivable that he would have been with someone else.
And he had the audacity to expect her to be supportive of him while he went to visit his daughter.
“Everything I thought we were working toward, every dream we’d had about a family ended last evening. I’m the one who can’t conceive. I am the one who is infertile. Even if we could reconcile, I would never be able to give you a child.” She struggled to keep the ugly tears in check. “You can’t expect me to go along as if nothing has changed between us.”
Aidan sighed deeply. “I promise you, Grace, that if you go with me, I will do whatever you ask where we are concerned. I don’t pretend to understand how you feel, but I will respect any decision you make once you’ve seen Emma. It’s clear we need time to work on our problems. I won’t deny that. But I also want you to see this little girl.”
“Why are you so fixated on this, Aidan? A few days won’t matter. You’re a complete stranger to this child. You could simply upset her. What good would that do?”
“I hope that doesn’t happen, but if it does, I’ll find a way to deal with it,” Aidan said, his eyes not meeting hers.
Suddenly she felt a cold sensation around her heart. She was alone in all this misery. Aidan didn’t understand what he was asking of her or he would never have asked it. He would have known how painful it would be for her to face the child he’d conceived with another woman.
But, most of all, she felt alone because he had a whole new focus in his life. He had a daughter, and his eagerness to see her made Grace feel invisible...unimportant.
Yet deep down, a part of her longed to see this child—a little girl who, through no fault of her own, had been thrust into their lives. What would it be like if, somehow, they could work things out between them and Aidan took over his little girl’s life? How would holidays, like Christmas or Easter, be if Emma was with them, was an integral part of their lives? It was so easy to imagine those moments, moments Grace had already dreamed of, lived for all these years.
She’d dreamed of feeling moments of pure joy with her child. With Emma in their lives, there would be wonderful events—the miracle of Christmas and the Christ child being real and present in their lives.
There was a little girl who, regardless of how it had come about, would become a part of their lives...if only they could resolve their differences. Grace struggled with fear and so many other emotions. How could she mother another woman’s child when that child would trigger suspicions about her husband’s behavior? Grace would always wonder what he was doing, what he was really feeling, whenever she looked at the child he’d had with someone else. Grace had been living that way these past few weeks, and it had been unbearable. “Aidan, if we are going together to see Emma, I need you to tell me that that you aren’t hiding anything more from me.”
He nodded his head vigorously, his face tight with anxiety.
“Are you sure you’re telling me everything about your relationship with Deidre? How am I to believe that you weren’t in touch with her these past four years? Because it just doesn’t make sense to me. What woman would spend the money to prove who the father of her child was without ever telling him about it?”
“I have no idea why Deidre did what she did. But I swear to you, I had no contact with her.”
“And you and Deidre haven’t been seeing each other?”
“Grace, I have not seen Deidre since those two days five years ago. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but I want to get this right. What I said last night about Emma being my child is only partly true. You’re my wife. I love you. And this is our child. I can’t help but believe that your faith in God had something to do with this child entering our lives.”
“What? You’re not making sense.”
“We love each other. We’ve tried everything to have a baby. And I’m really sorry that Deidre died. She was essentially a good person, but her passing has given us the gift we’ve been dreaming of for years. It may not have happened in quite the way either of us wanted, but it is a chance for us to start our family.”
She had always been a practicing Christian. She believed in God’s will and his plan for her and her life. Could it be that Aidan was right? Was this how God worked in their lives? She wasn’t sure. “Do you think it is possible?”
He nodded. “I do.”
Seeing the anguish on his face, Grace clasped his hand, her love for him reawaking within her. This was a very difficult situation, and they would be a long time working through it, but if they could... She leaned across the bed to touch him and tried to forget her fears and her suspicions.
If they were going to make their marriage work once again, she had to accept what had happened. If, in the end, they couldn’t work things out, she had to be certain that she’d done what she could to save her marriage. “I’ll go with you to see Emma.”
He kissed her hand, a long sigh escaping his lips. “You will not regret this. I promise you that we will do this together.”
CHAPTER FOUR (#u16d8bb65-e11f-5402-86e0-db9f7039bb53)
THEY PACKED A few things and started out of town just as the sun began to warm the air. Grace couldn’t help but feel anxious. As much as she wanted to support Aidan and Emma, she was still in shock over what had occurred in such a short time. Doubt and betrayal continued to circle her thoughts, refusing to leave regardless of how she tried to think of God’s will.
She felt suspended, dislocated, since the lawyer had called. The news that Aidan would now be responsible for his daughter didn’t seem to be real, despite her earlier hope. “How are we going to make this all work?” she asked.
“To be honest, I’m still trying to figure out why Deidre didn’t tell me.”
“Maybe she never intended that you find out.”
“But why? All those meetings we held to discuss the operational issues of her company back five years ago, I thought I knew her. At least a little bit. I never pictured her as someone who would hide such important information from anyone, let alone me.”
“What do you mean by that?” Grace asked, feeling uneasy.
He glanced over at her. “I mean that she seemed so upright, so honest and caring. I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“How can you call her upright and honest? She went to bed with another woman’s husband. How can you defend that behavior?”
“Sorry that didn’t come out the way I intended. I meant in relation to her work.”
His supportive words for this woman were disconcerting. She searched for something to focus on as her stomach rose into her throat. “Did you make a reservation for us for tonight?”
“No. I didn’t think of it. But we can do that easily when we get there.”
Aidan drove carefully through the city streets toward the highway leading out of town toward Spartanburg. “Grace, I have been so busy building up my company, making plans for us, for when we have a family, that I didn’t take in what it would really mean to have a child in our lives. But now that this little girl needs us, it’s as if we’re being given a chance to have what we always dreamed of. I want to be there for her.”
A part of her didn’t really care how he felt, but she tried to sound interested if only to keep the conversation going. “You have a lot to think about if you’re going to give her a good home, so much planning needs to be done.”
He squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”
He sighed and smiled at her, making her heart do a funny flip-flop in her chest. She wanted to go home, to pretend none of this was happening, to go back to the way things had been before that first phone call from Larry Knowles.
“It’s just that there is so much to think about—”
He squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Stop worrying. We’ll figure it all out together. We’ll see how Emma is doing when we get to the house. The nanny will be there and probably a couple of Deidre’s closest friends.”
“Do you know where Deidre lives... I mean, lived?” Grace asked, wondering how he would have known if he hadn’t seen her since the end of the affair over five years ago. “She might have moved since you were last here.”
He gripped the wheel, his eyes skirting hers. “Mr. Knowles told me she lived in the same house as when I knew her.”
Reality crashed down on Grace, billowing around her like an unwanted mist. Memories of those lonely nights when she’d waited for Aidan to come home, to make love to her, praying that this time there would be a baby for them. Believing his absence meant he was building a future for their family.
She had awoken this morning hoping it was all a terrible dream, not real. Just before the pain rushed her, reminding her of the loss of trust, the ache of knowing her husband had slept with another woman.
She believed in marriage, had been raised in a home where vows of any kind were taken seriously, and none more than the marriage vow. She wanted to take him back and put her whole heart into forgetting the past. They had married right out of college and had had their share of disagreements like any couple, but never something like this.
Her hurt, her soul-deep wounds prevented her from forgetting anything. And she doubted they would allow her to forgive.
There were so many questions and so few answers. Why had Deidre chosen not to tell Aidan about Emma when she was alive? Wouldn’t she have wanted her daughter to be close to her dad and his family? Why had she left everything to Aidan on the condition that he accept Emma into his life and become her dad?
Grace couldn’t imagine any woman who would have behaved that way. She certainly wouldn’t have. She would have insisted that the child’s father share in the responsibility for caring for and raising it. She would want her daughter to have all the love and support possible, regardless of how she felt about the father. So how could Deidre not be in touch with Aidan and still expect him to step in as parent?
None of this made any sense...
“Grace, honey, time to wake up,” Aidan said softly.
“What?” she asked, suddenly awake. After not sleeping for days, the smooth motion of the car had lulled her to sleep. Sitting up straight, she glanced out the window at the quiet boulevard basking in the midmorning sun. “Should I put Deidre’s address into the GPS?”
“No. We’re only a few minutes away from her house.”
It was humiliating to realize that her husband had been to Deidre’s home. Had they made love in her bedroom? Grace’s stomach sank, pressing into her backbone. Of course they had. They wouldn’t have needed to hide out in a hotel room to carry on their affair when Deidre’s home was available and waiting.
Grace closed her eyes, trying to resist the image of her husband and Deidre making love in the home she was about to enter. A sharp ache close to her heart made her grit her teeth. She couldn’t wait to get away from the place. The ache of betrayal reminded her of what had gone on without her knowing. “We...we need a reservation for tonight.”
“I’ll look after that once we’ve seen Emma. I’m worried about how she’ll react to us appearing in her life right now...” He turned right onto a tree-lined street, weaving through the many twists and turns of a roadway designed to slow traffic around homes whose gabled entrances, brick exteriors and long, elegant windows spoke of wealth and prestige.
Grace shrank into the seat, suddenly wishing she hadn’t come with Aidan. She didn’t want to see this house, this place where her husband had made love to another woman—a woman he hadn’t admitted having a fling with until circumstances forced him to do so. The car slowed as Aidan pulled into a driveway surrounded by a hedge that protected the house from the street, the massive gardens sweeping toward the entrance, flashing bright red and yellow flowers of all sizes and shapes. Following the curve of the driveway, they stopped in front of a massive dark wood door.
“We’re here,” Aidan said, turning off the engine. “Are you okay?” he asked, turning to her his eyes filled with concern. “I realize that this isn’t easy for you,” he murmured, taking her hand in his and kissing her fingers. “If you’d rather, I can go in first, if it would make it easier for you...”
Her heart hammered against her rib cage. Could she go in there? Could she face a little girl who was about to be part of their life? If they stayed married, of course.
She glanced around, hoping to see other vehicles along the circular drive. There weren’t any. It had been several weeks since Deidre’s passing, and yet Grace had expected to see evidence that people were still coming to check on a little girl who had lost her mommy. Where were all this woman’s friends? Or didn’t she have any?
The tragic way Deidre had died should have meant that her friends were taking turns caring for her daughter. She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I can do this. Go into the house where you slept with another woman. It’s not fair.”
“It’s all right if you can’t. You’ve come this far with me, more than I expected or deserved.”
At least he acknowledged her perspective. No, she couldn’t go inside. Yet...she was drawn to see this little girl, this child who was dealing with so much. “Let’s get this over. Maybe the nanny isn’t home. Maybe she took Emma to friends’ or to the library,” Grace said, the knot in her stomach hardening.
Without a word, Aidan came around to her door, opened it and took her hand in that reassuring way of his. Suddenly she felt faint. “I’m not sure I can do this, Aidan.”
He squeezed her fingers. “You can. I’m right here if you need me.” He took her hand and led her to the imposing front door, his fingers pressing the doorbell as his eyes held hers. “This will all be okay. I promise you. We’ll be okay.”
The door opened and a tall woman with dark hair and penetrating brown eyes greeted them. “You must be Aidan Fellowes. I recognize you from the photo. Come on in,” she offered, leading the way into the formal living room to the right of the entrance hall.
“I am, and this is my wife, Grace,” Aidan said, his arm coming around Grace’s shoulders.
The woman’s expression was one of kindness. “I’m Emma’s nanny, Lisa Gomez. I’ve cared for Emma since she was born.”
She pointed to the sofa opposite the fireplace. “I’m aware of Deidre’s intentions concerning Emma, and I want you to know I approve of them. A child should be with her father in a situation like this. Emma has a lovely photo of you, Mr. Fellowes.”
Grace sat on the edge of the sofa her mind reeling. A photo of Aidan? She turned to Lisa. “You have a photo of my husband. Why?”
Lisa glanced quizzically at Aidan before she answered. “He is Emma’s father. Deidre wanted Emma to be able to recognize her father. Deidre’s company worked closely with his company, and I’m sure they stayed in touch through work, although she never said as much.”
Lisa raised her eyebrows, her gaze resting on Grace’s face, a look of understanding dawning on her face. “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Fellowes. I don’t know why, but I thought Aidan was single when he and Deidre met...”
Aidan had sworn he hadn’t been involved in Deidre’s business after the affair. He’d claimed Lucas looked after anything Deidre’s company needed. Was that the truth? Had her husband been here since that weekend? Was she the only one who didn’t know what was going on? Had Aidan and Lucas both hidden the truth from her? Lucas wouldn’t do that, of that she was certain.
Tears burned Grace’s eyes. She fought to regain her equilibrium, deciding to say nothing more to this woman. Her hands clammy, her breath coming in short gasps, she struggled to stay in this room and listen to what was being said. Her eyes sought the door. Her body tensed as she placed her feet firmly on the floor in front of her. “Could I see the photo of my husband?”
“That’s not necessary,” Aidan said.
“I’d like to see the photo of my husband,” she said, suspicion writhing through her at Aidan’s objection.
Lisa left the room and came back a few minutes later, holding the framed photo out to Grace. “Deidre wanted Emma to understand that she had a dad who didn’t live with them. Deidre wanted her to see what her dad looked like.”
Grace searched the photo for clues as to where it had been taken...a park somewhere. She didn’t recognize the photo or the place, but the smile on Aidan’s face was playful and open. How could he have been looking that way if their relationship was a quick hookup, a fling, as he’d described it? And why had they been in a park she didn’t recognize? “I thought you had no role in Emma’s life, that you knew nothing about her until the lawyer called,” she said, seething.
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Stella MacLean
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: The family she’s always wanted…Becoming a mother means everything to Grace Fellowes. She and her husband Aidan are ready to adopt when they learn that Aidan is a father already. A tragic accident has left five-year-old Emma motherless and Grace with the devastating knowledge that her husband had an affair. Her heart and her trust are broken.Smart, loving, and full of life, the red-headed Emma is perfectly charming. She’s everything Grace has longed for – and a constant reminder of Aidan’s infidelity. But Emma needs a family and Aidan can’t abandon his daughter. This child could be the best thing that ever happened to her marriage – if Grace can learn to forgive.