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In His Loving Care
Jennifer Taylor


On discovering he has a daughter, Lewis Cole's life is changed in an instant, from single city surgeon to single father and country GP. He's determined to give little Kristy all of the love and attention she needs, but somehow he finds there is also room in his heart for beautiful Dr. Helen Daniels.When she's around it feels like they are a family. Lewis can see her as the perfect wife and mother for Kristy, but Helen needs something more – a child of her own. How can Lewis fulfil her dreams when he's still discovering how to be a dad?







Jennifer Taylor kicks off a brand-new Medical Romance™ miniseries…

BACHELOR DADS

Single doctors…Single fathers!

At work they are skilled medical professionals, but at home, as soon as they walk in the door, these eligible bachelors are on full-time fatherhood duty.

These devoted dads still find room in their lives for love…

It takes a very special woman to win the hearts of these dedicated doctors, and a very special kind of caring to make these single fathers full-time husbands.


Dear Reader (#u348b415d-86b4-5d5a-b24e-8b6e6250b5df),

The three books in my new series, BACHELOR DADS, are based on one common theme: a father’s love for his child. Although each of the fathers has to overcome many different obstacles, Lewis, Owen and Connor are united by their love for their children. These men will do anything it takes to make sure their child is happy, even if it means sacrificing their own happiness. Fortunately, I was able to make sure they were all suitably rewarded for their dedication!

In this book, In His Loving Care, Lewis Cole is determined to do everything he can for his six-year-old daughter following her mother’s death. He knows that Kristy needs a lot of support and decides to change his career so he can devote more time to her. The chance of a partnership in a busy rural general practice seems like the ideal solution, but he hadn’t bargained on the attraction he feels for the beautiful and vulnerable senior partner, Helen Daniels. He longs to build a future with Helen, but how can he when he has to put his daughter’s interests first?

I really enjoyed helping Lewis and Helen find a solution to their problems, and I hope you enjoy reading how they worked things out in the end.

Best wishes,

Jennifer Taylor


In His Loving Care

Jennifer Taylor






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)




CONTENTS


Cover (#u94ed03c4-d16f-5f0b-982f-458883d45a0b)

Dear Reader (#udb0e18bb-8ed0-5f5b-bbbe-0a52cfcde0c7)

Title Page (#u4b8ecf47-26e7-53da-96b8-fed41d088a28)

CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_56caa09d-0642-5a21-b037-d4f689707f6d)

CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_cb706711-7ac1-5f90-94d7-feea29d2cb8b)

CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_e97dbfd3-a72c-5074-99b4-9475fbc9fbd3)

CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_2e093c59-df0d-50be-846d-589c36a8289c)

CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)




CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_2c2c76bd-85e3-5c7e-be44-5b792c9cd505)


‘DR COLE? I’m Helen Daniels, the senior partner. Thank you for coming.’

Helen summoned a smile as the man stood up, hoping that she didn’t look as weary as she felt. The response to her advertisement for a new partner to join the staff at The Beeches surgery had been far better than she’d anticipated. Even after whittling the applications down to just a dozen, it still meant that she’d spent every spare minute this past week interviewing for the post. Lewis Cole was her final candidate and, to her mind, the most promising, although she took care not to let him know that as she escorted him from the waiting-room. She intended to choose her new partner very carefully—make the decision with her head, not her heart.

A frown puckered her brow as she led the way into her consulting-room. She had no idea why she should have imagined that she might become emotionally involved when making the decision. It had never crossed her mind while she had been interviewing the other candidates so why had it occurred to her now?

Covertly, she studied Lewis Cole as he sat down in front of her desk, taking stock of a leanly muscular physique, crisp dark brown hair and smoothly handsome features. He was wearing a beautifully tailored black suit with a white shirt and an expensive silk tie so maybe that was what had set him apart from the other candidates, she mused. None of the people she’d interviewed to date had been so formally attired and perhaps that was why he had stood out.

He suddenly looked up and Helen hastily took her seat when she found herself subjected to an equally thorough scrutiny from a pair of piercing deep grey eyes. If she’d been weighing up Lewis Cole then he was returning the favour and she couldn’t help wondering what he thought of her.

Did he find her particular shade of red hair attractive, for instance? Someone had once described the colour as wet-fox red, and had meant it as a compliment, too, although the colour might not be to everyone’s taste. The warm greeny-blue colour of her eyes wasn’t too bad, though, and her features were even enough…

‘Thank you for seeing me, Dr Daniels. I know my application was a little late reaching you but I didn’t notice your advertisement when I first read the journal.’

Helen jumped when Lewis Cole addressed her in a voice that sounded like dark chocolate—all smooth and rich and velvety. She quickly returned her attention to what she was supposed to be doing, rather surprised that it had wavered in the first place. Taking his application out of her tray, she placed it in the centre of her blotter.

‘I did request that the advertisement should be placed inside a box so it would stand out, but my instructions weren’t carried out.’ She treated him to a cool smile, wanting to regain control of the interview and not allow him to hijack it, as she sensed he might do. ‘Fortunately, it didn’t cause too many problems at the end of the day. I received over fifty applications for the post, which is an excellent result.’

‘Indeed it is.’

He leant back in his chair, crossing one long leg over the other as though he was totally at ease, and Helen felt another ripple run through her. In light of the experience she’d gained during the past week, it seemed incredible that a candidate should be this relaxed during an interview so what made Dr Cole so sure of himself?

She cast another glance at his application, facts leaping out at her from the expertly typed pages: aged forty; member of the Royal College of Surgeons as well as the Royal College of Physicians; senior consultant in gastrointestinal surgery at St Leona’s in London; retrained as a GP the previous year…

She looked up, wondering not for the first time why he’d decided to quit surgery. He’d stated in his application that it had been “for personal reasons”, although she had no idea what that meant. Maybe it was time she found out.

‘There is no point me asking you the usual questions I’ve asked a lot of the other candidates, Dr Cole.’ She glanced at his application and shrugged. ‘It’s obvious from this that you have a great deal of experience so what interests me most is why you decided to leave surgery and retrain at this stage in your career.’

‘As I explained in my application, my reasons were personal ones. Surgery is a very demanding discipline and it involves long and very irregular hours. At the present time I need a job that will provide me with a little more stability in my life.’

His grey eyes met hers calmly across the desk but she could see a nerve ticking in his jaw and realised with a jolt that his composure wasn’t as solid as she’d imagined it to be. For some reason the discovery made her want to reassure him that he had nothing to worry about, only there was no way she could do that.

Helen sat up straighter, annoyed with herself for ignoring her own sage advice about not letting herself become emotionally involved. Lewis Cole was just another candidate and she mustn’t allow herself to be swayed by the thought that she might be able to make his life a little easier by offering him the job.

‘So you believe that general practice is an easier option than surgery?’ she asked, allowing a hint of scepticism to creep into her voice.

‘Not easier, no. Just more…predictable.’

‘Predictable?’ Helen tipped back her head and laughed. It was the funniest answer she’d heard all week.

‘Obviously, I’ve said something to amuse you, Dr Daniels.’

The deep voice was colder now, stern, too, and her laughter immediately dried up. ‘I laughed more in astonishment than amusement, actually. General practice is never predictable, as you’ll find out for yourself if you secure a position as a GP.’

She allowed that to sink in, feeling a bit mean about slipping the doubt into the conversation, although maybe she was doing him a favour. After all, there was no guarantee that he would get this job, or any other for that matter.

The thought of his potential disappointment was upsetting for some reason and she hurried on. ‘You never know what’s going to happen from one minute to the next. Every time a patient walks through the door, you have to be prepared to deal with whatever they throw at you.’

She glanced at his application again then looked up, expecting to see some sign of emotion on his face, but his expression was completely blank now, as though he was deliberately hiding his feelings from her.

It was unsettling to wonder what was going on inside his head but Helen refused to dwell on it as she continued in the same no-nonsense tone. ‘It’s not all colds and heartburn in general practice. We have many patients at The Beeches who have very complex needs and we make sure they all receive the highest standard of care.’

‘It’s good to know that,’ he said quietly. ‘And I apologise if you thought I was being flippant. I’m certainly not dismissive of general practice work otherwise I wouldn’t have chosen to become a GP myself.’

There was no doubting his sincerity. Helen felt a little heat run through her veins as she realised that she probably deserved the rebuke. She experienced a sudden urge to apologise to him before it struck her that the whole reason for this interview was so she could ask him questions like that. She took a quick breath, determined not to let herself get sidetracked again.

‘The Beeches is a very busy practice. We have over three thousand patients on our books and we cover a large area of the surrounding countryside as well as the town. Whoever is appointed to this post will be a highly visible member of the local community.’

‘I don’t have a problem with that.’ He shrugged, his broad shoulders moving lightly under the expensively tailored jacket. ‘It will make a refreshing change after living in London all my adult life, in fact.’

‘Good,’ she said firmly, pleased to have got back onto familiar territory. So long as she stuck to the demands of the job, there wouldn’t be a problem with this interview. ‘Ian was very keen to ensure that The Beeches would continue to be at the heart of any local activities.’

‘Ian?’ he interjected.

‘My husband.’ Helen paused, wondering why she felt so uncomfortable about explaining her marital status. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t had enough time to get over Ian’s death but she felt…odd about having to explain to Lewis Cole that she was a widow. However, there really was no way that she could avoid it.

‘Ian died two years ago of a heart attack. It was a shock because he’d always been extremely fit.’ She hurried on, knowing it would be easier to tell him all the details in one fell swoop. ‘I took over the practice after his death and I’ve tried to carry on running it in a way that Ian and his father would have approved of. Ian’s father founded The Beeches,’ she added. ‘Summerfield didn’t have a doctor’s surgery until then.’

‘It must be very difficult for you.’

Helen felt her heart squeeze in an extra beat when she glimpsed a hint of compassion in his eyes. It made her feel very strange to know that he sympathised with her, although she couldn’t allow it to affect her judgement. ‘Being a widow doesn’t affect my work,’ she said sharply.

‘I wasn’t referring to that. I meant that it must be difficult to maintain someone else’s standards. Most people prefer to do things their own way, in my experience.’

She blinked in surprise. Although she would never have admitted it, sometimes she did grow weary of the continual demands that were placed upon her. Living up to Ian’s expectations these last two years hadn’t been easy. Several times she’d been tempted to adopt a simpler approach but she’d always held back because she hadn’t wanted to overrule her late husband’s wishes. To have that very fact pointed out to her by this stranger made a lump come to her throat all of a sudden.

‘I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place to make such an observation.’

She wasn’t sure if Lewis Cole had noticed her emotionally charged state and didn’t stop to wonder about it. She couldn’t afford to get embroiled in that kind of pointless exercise. She picked up his application again, hoping he would have the sensitivity not to pursue the subject.

‘I see that you studied medicine at Oxford.’

‘That’s right. After that I did a stint at Guy’s—the usual house officer nightmare of being shunted around from pillar to post—before I opted for surgery.’

‘What made you decide to specialise in gastrointestinal surgery?’ she asked, slipping in the question as soon as he’d finished speaking because it seemed wiser to fill all the time that she’d allotted for this interview with questions.

She shot a surreptitious glance at the clock and sighed in relief when she saw that ten minutes had passed. After another ten minutes she would be able to wind up the interview without appearing too hasty. She should be able to manage ten more minutes of Lewis Cole’s company….

Or ten more years, an insidious little voice whispered inside her head. Couldn’t she just imagine them working side by side in the surgery for years to come? Or, better still, spending time together outside work?

Appalled by the way her mind seemed to be behaving that day, Helen rushed on before he’d had a chance to answer her question. ‘It’s one of the less glamorous specialities, isn’t it?’

‘I didn’t go into surgery for the glamour of the job.’ His tone was flat but she could sense him bridling and inwardly groaned because now she would have to apologise.

‘I’m sure you didn’t. It was an unfortunate choice of words,’ she said as calmly as she could, unsure why she was so wary. After all, a simple apology shouldn’t have been a major issue, yet for some reason she felt uneasy about letting him gain the upper hand.

He inclined his head so she took it to mean that he’d accepted her attempt to make amends. However, it seemed wiser not to say anything else in case any more unruly thoughts came rushing out of her mouth. She waited politely for him to continue and after a moment he carried on.

‘I chose gastrointestinal surgery for the simple reason that not many surgeons choose to work in that particular field.’

‘I see,’ Helen replied automatically, although she didn’t really understand. Maybe it showed, too, because he explained without her having to prompt him.

‘I was extremely ambitious when I began my career in medicine. I intended to make consultant by the time I was thirty-five and I achieved my aim. I might not have succeeded if I’d gone into a different speciality like orthopaedics, for instance. That’s always a popular choice for budding surgeons.’

‘So your interest in gastrointestinal surgery was a career choice?’ she clarified, somewhat surprised by his honesty.

‘Partly, yes. Obviously I had an interest in the field otherwise I would never have opted for it. However, my main reason for choosing it was to achieve personal progression.’

‘Yet you’ve chosen to retrain as a general practitioner? Don’t you find it somewhat daunting to be back on the bottom rung of the career ladder?’ she asked bluntly, needing to understand his motivation better.

She’d obviously surprised him by the forthright question because that nerve in his jaw had started to beat even faster now. Nevertheless, his gaze was level as he looked at her across the desk.

‘Yes, I do. I find it extremely daunting. However, it’s what I need to do so that’s all there is to it.’

He glanced down and when he looked up again she could see the conviction in his eyes. ‘Maybe my route to becoming a GP has been a little unorthodox but I promise you, Dr Daniels, that if you do take me on as a partner I will do the job to the very best of my ability. There will be no half-measures, I assure you. I will give you one hundred per cent commitment.’

Lewis tried to hide his anxiety beneath an outward aura of calm but his blood pressure was going through the roof! However, if he’d learned one thing during the past twelve months it was that he desperately needed to put some stability into his and Kristy’s lives, and moving to Summerfield could be the perfect way to do it.

His mouth twisted wryly because there was very little about this situation that could be classed as perfect. A year ago his life had been structured almost to a fault but now he never knew from one day to the next what was going to happen. Looking after a six-year-old child, and a child who had suffered several major traumas in her short life, was far more challenging than anything he’d done before, but his determination had never wavered. Kristy deserved the happiness and security that came from knowing she was loved.

The sheer force of his feelings whenever he thought about his daughter was in danger of making his composure crumble so he did his best to batten down his emotions. Helen Daniels was staring at his application as though it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever read but he sensed that her concentration was a cover for less positive thoughts.

Couldn’t she imagine herself working with him? he wondered anxiously because he had no idea what he was going to do if he didn’t get this job.

He’d been for six interviews to date and each time another candidate had been offered the position. He knew it wasn’t his lack of experience in general practice work that had been his downfall—the other candidates had been younger than him and newly qualified, too. His trouble was that he came across as far too forceful during an interview, but it was difficult to curb his natural tendency to take charge. He’d had a team of surgeons answering to him at St Leona’s, although he hadn’t made any mention of that in his application in case it had gone against him. He needed this job and he couldn’t afford to lose it because he scared off the lovely Dr Daniels!

A frown drew Lewis’s brows together. He hadn’t realised until that moment that he’d noticed how attractive Helen Daniels was. With that glorious red hair and those expressive greeny-blue eyes, she was a truly beautiful woman. The fact that her expression held an innate sweetness was another plus factor because in his rather extensive experience beauty rarely equated with a charming nature. However, it appeared that Helen Daniels had been blessed with both and it was unnerving to realise that he was attracted to her. The last thing he could afford was to find himself embroiled in a relationship when he had Kristy to consider.

‘I don’t doubt that you mean what you say, Dr Cole. However, I would be lying if I said that I don’t have reservations about offering you the job.’

Helen Daniel’s voice cut through his thoughts like a hot knife through butter, and he stiffened. He stared back at her, blanking out every thought apart from the fact that he had to get this job.

‘Because of my lack of experience in general practice work?’ he suggested neutrally, and she shrugged.

‘That’s not my main concern. I’m sure you would cope admirably in whichever field you chose to work. However, working in a town like Summerfield would be a whole new experience for most people, and it would be vastly different to what you’re used to.’

‘In what way?’ he demanded, struggling to remain calm, no easy feat when he knew where the conversation was leading. Helen Daniels was trying to let him down as gently as possible but he didn’t want to be let down—didn’t want to let Kristy down when she was depending on him!

‘There is nothing hi-tech about this practice. We’ve always relied on the principle of good, accurate diagnosis followed by the appropriate treatment. After-care is also extremely important to us so we make sure that we don’t lose touch with our patients once we’ve treated them.’

‘I agree.’ Lewis summoned a smile, hoping it would disguise his chagrin. Dr Daniels obviously didn’t rate him very highly if she thought that she needed to explain that principle to him.

‘It’s an approach I employed at St Leona’s. Every patient I treated there was called back for a further consultation six weeks after their surgery and I made a point of seeing them myself rather than relying on a junior to do it for me. Not only did it enable me to assess their fitness, it also gave me the opportunity to fine-tune the treatment I’d provided for them and maybe improve on it for the next patient I saw.’

‘Oh! I hadn’t realised that.’

Lewis felt a wave of tenderness wash over him when he saw a little colour touch her cheeks. His tone softened, taking on a gentleness that he rarely employed apart from when he was speaking to Kristy.

‘There’s no reason why you should have known, Dr Daniels. The work I did at St Leona’s was vastly different to what you do here. I understand that. I’m also aware that I still have a great deal to learn about general practice work. However, I’ve completed my training and the experience I gained during that time has given me an insight into what might be expected of me.’

‘Of course,’ she replied stiffly, obviously embarrassed by her gaffe. ‘I never meant to imply otherwise, Dr Cole, I assure you.’

‘I’m sure you didn’t,’ he replied smoothly. He certainly didn’t want to make her feel that she was in the wrong when it could have repercussions on her offering him the job. He needed this job for Kristy’s sake and wanted it for himself, too. He could imagine himself working very happily with Helen Daniels.

Lewis cleared his throat, somewhat surprised by the thought. It was rare for him to make snap judgements and he couldn’t understand why he’d done so in this instance. ‘All I can say is that I will do a good job if you offer me the post. With your help, I feel that I could fit in here and make a valuable contribution to the community.’

‘I appreciate your enthusiasm, Dr Cole. However, as I’m sure you will understand, I need to consider your application in light of the others I’ve received. The standard has been extremely high so it may take a few days for me to reach a decision.’

She stood up, making it clear that the interview was over. Lewis’s heart sank as he got to his feet. He knew without having to be told that he’d blown it. He’d been too forceful, too sure of himself, and she wasn’t having any of it.

He really couldn’t blame her, he thought as he shook her hand. He would have had reservations, too, if he’d been the one doing the interview. A forty-year-old consultant surgeon moving into general practice wasn’t the usual run-of-the-mill candidate so any prospective employer would have had doubts. Not for the first time he found himself wondering if he’d been mad to take this step, yet what choice had he had?

Kristy needed him to be there when she got home from school. She needed him to be there in the middle of the night when she woke up, screaming in terror. What use was he to her if he was stuck in Theatre or at one of the endless fundraising dinners he’d been expected to attend? His whole lifestyle had had to change, although he didn’t regret it for a second. He owed Kristy this and a lot more after the way he’d failed her for the first six years of her life!

He swung round, wishing there was something more he could have done to convince Helen Daniels that he was the best candidate for the post. She followed him from the room and he could sense her eagerness to get rid of him as she escorted him to the reception area. She paused by the desk, a polite smile fixed to her lovely mouth, and he sighed. There was no point holding out any hope that he would be offered the job so maybe he should cut his losses and make this as easy as possible for her.

‘Thank you for seeing me, Dr Daniels. I appreciate you giving up your time.’

‘Thank you for coming all this way,’ she countered politely. ‘Did you drive up here or travel by train, by the way?’

‘I drove. The trains can be a little erratic and I wanted to make sure I was back when Kristy got home from school,’ he replied, without thinking, because he was busily watching the light from the window playing across her hair. It really was the most glorious colour, he thought, watching a winter sunbeam bounce fiery lights off the silky red tendrils…

‘You have a daughter?’

The surprise in her voice reclaimed his attention and he nodded. ‘Yes. Kristy is six,’ he explained in the noncommittal tone he used whenever anyone exhibited surprise at the fact that he was a father.

‘A lovely age. Old enough to enjoy her company yet still young enough that you can take care of her. You spend all your time worrying about them when they’re old enough to leave home.’

Lewis frowned. He wasn’t sure what to make of that comment. He would have put her age at somewhere in her mid-thirties so she must have been very young when she’d had her family if her children had left home. Bearing in mind the years she would have spent studying, it seemed very strange and he was still trying to work it out when she continued.

‘How does your wife feel about moving out of London? Is she happy about the idea?’

Lewis forgot about Helen’s family as he tried to decide how to answer the question. Normally, he avoided any mention of Tessa because he found it too difficult to talk about her. It also upset Kristy to hear her mother’s name mentioned so he skirted around the subject whenever anyone asked about her. However, for some reason he felt that he had to be truthful with Helen Daniels.

‘I’m not married. I never have been, in fact.’

‘Oh! I’m sorry. I just assumed you were when you spoke about your daughter…’

She broke off in embarrassment and he grimaced because now he’d made matters worse. The only way to rectify the problem was to tell her the full story and to hell with what she thought…only it wasn’t that simple. For some, inexplicable reason he didn’t want her to think badly of him.

‘Kristy’s mother and I had a brief affair some years ago before she moved to Florida. She never told me that she was pregnant before she left so I had no idea that she was expecting my child. I only found out last year when a firm of lawyers from Miami informed me that I had a daughter.’

‘It must have been a shock for you.’

‘It was.’ He smiled grimly, thinking that must be the biggest understatement of all time. Even now, a full year later, he still woke up at night sometimes and wondered if he’d dreamt it.

‘You said that you found out about your daughter when you were contacted by lawyers? Was there a reason for that?’

Lewis felt his heart swell when he saw the concern in her beautiful eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at him that way, he thought wistfully. He realised that he needed to terminate the conversation before he got in way too deep for his own good. Once he left The Beeches that would be the last he saw of Helen Daniels so there was no point wallowing in all that wonderful sympathy.

‘Unfortunately, Tessa was involved in a road accident and subsequently died of her injuries. She was living with some guy in Miami at the time, and after she died he decided that he didn’t want to be responsible for Kristy.’ He shrugged, trying to damp down the anger he felt whenever he thought about what had happened. ‘He took off one day and left Kristy in the apartment. Fortunately, a neighbour heard her crying and called the police, but from what they could gather she’d been on her own for almost a week by then.’

‘But that’s awful!’ Helen exclaimed. ‘How could anyone just abandon a young child?’

‘I’ve no idea. Anyway, once the authorities discovered that Tessa was dead, they put Kristy into care. It was only when the police finally tracked down the guy Tessa had been living with that my name cropped up. Tessa had told him I was Kristy’s father, so the lawyer who was working on the case got in touch with me. I flew out to Miami the following day and was granted custody of her.’

‘It must have been a huge shock for you, though.’

‘It was.’ He smiled wryly. ‘I’d never thought about having a family and all of a sudden I had a six-year-old daughter I had never even known existed.’

‘You could have had her adopted,’ she said, her eyes locked to his face in a way that would have bothered him if it hadn’t been for what she’d said. The fact that she believed him capable of giving up his own child made him see just how low an opinion she had of him, and it hurt to realise that, hurt far more than it should have done, bearing in mind that he barely knew her.

‘Kristy is my child and I would never put her up for adoption,’ he stated in a voice like steel. ‘I’ve enough to feel guilty about without adding that into the equation.’

‘But you didn’t even know that you had a daughter!’ she protested.

‘No, I didn’t know about her, but that isn’t an excuse for what’s gone on. The poor child has suffered enough heartache in her young life and I intend to do everything I can to make up for it.’

He looked straight into her eyes, wanting to convince her yet unsure why it mattered so much. ‘I’m going to do my best to be the perfect father to her, and if that means giving up my career and moving home then that’s what I shall do. The only person who matters now is Kristy and there is nothing I won’t do to make her happy!’




CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_d24deb11-29cc-55d2-b8bf-87c91c953777)


‘THERE’S a staff meeting today at twelve. It will be a bit of rush to fit it in before we do the house calls but we find it helpful to get together a couple of times a week to discuss any problems we have.’

Helen summoned a smile, wishing she didn’t feel so on edge whenever she had to speak to Lewis. After all, it had been her decision to offer him the job so it wasn’t as though she hadn’t had any choice in the matter. Would she have taken him on if he hadn’t told her about his daughter, though? she wondered all of a sudden.

She’d already decided that she wasn’t going to offer him the job when he’d told her about Kristy, and it had been that which had made her reconsider. The thought of what the child had been through had had a huge bearing on her decision, although it hadn’t been the only reason she’d changed her mind. It had been Lewis’s determination to do all he could for the little girl which had been the deciding factor, and it was unsettling to know that he had that much power over her. It wasn’t surprising that she felt so nervous around him in the circumstances.

‘Fine by me. There’s a couple of queries I’d like to raise.’

He smiled ruefully and Helen’s heart performed the strangest manoeuvre—something between a leap and a hiccup. She had to make a determined effort to concentrate as he continued in the same wry tone.

‘My lack of experience in some areas of general practice work is starting to show so I’m hoping the rest of the team can give me a few pointers.’

‘That’s what we’re here for,’ she agreed briskly, deciding that enough was enough. She made her way to the door, pausing reluctantly when he spoke again. She would have preferred to make her escape rather than risk a few more seconds in his company.

‘I forgot to ask whose car we’re going in this afternoon to do the home visits. I don’t mind driving if you feel like a break.’

‘We’ll go in mine,’ she said shortly. It was irritating to have these ideas flashing into her head all the time. She’d worked with Ian for over twelve years and not once had she experienced even a hint of the awareness around him which she felt around Lewis.

The thought was less comforting that it should have been and she hurried on. ‘We need to visit one of the local farms today and your car really isn’t suitable.’

‘Hmm. A sports car isn’t the ideal vehicle to get around the area, is it?’

He sighed as he tossed his pen onto the desk and stretched his arms above his head. Helen looked away when muscles began to ripple beneath his shirt. She was trying to defuse the tension, not add to it!

‘I’m going to have to bite the bullet and change my car, I suppose.’ He heaved another sigh then dropped his hands onto the desk in a gesture that smacked of defeat.

‘Obviously a major sacrifice,’ she said tartly, because it seemed safer not to sympathise with him as she would have done with any other member of the staff.

‘Oh, I’m not worried for myself. A car is a car, so far as I’m concerned, but Kristy loves it. The only time I’ve heard her laugh, in fact, was when I took her to the seaside in the summer and we put the top down. I think it reminded her of drives with her mother. Tessa was driving a convertible when she was killed.’

Helen immediately felt guilty. It had been wrong of her to try and offset the effect he had on her by thinking badly of him. ‘How is Kristy settling in?’ she asked, because there was no way that she could apologise for being so sharp with him. It would only make him wonder why she’d spoken to him in that fashion in the first place, and that was the last thing she needed.

‘So far, so good.’ He crossed his fingers. ‘She seems to like her new school well enough and the fact that there’s an after-school club has been a real bonus. I’ve not had to find a child-minder to look after her until I get home from work. However, what really swung it was the house. The place we’re renting backs onto a farm and there’s a horse in the paddock. Kristy spends all her spare time standing by the fence, stroking it!’

Helen laughed. ‘A lot of little girls are mad about horses. I know I was at her age. Maybe you should think about booking some riding lessons for her.’

‘Actually, I have it on my list of things to do. Unfortunately, it’s a very long list and I haven’t got round to it yet.’ He tipped back his chair and smiled at her. Helen’s heart performed another interesting manoeuvre, a kind of double somersault this time.

‘I can imagine,’ she said as calmly as she could. ‘It must be difficult to keep on top of everything with moving house and starting a new job.’

‘Tell me about it! There don’t seem to be enough hours in a day to fit everything in. But arranging for Kristy to have riding lessons should be a priority, really. I don’t suppose you know where the nearest stables are?’

‘I’m afraid there aren’t any in Summerfield.’

‘That’s a blow. I was hoping I’d be able to find somewhere local to take her for lessons.’

‘Jill Sandford at Sandy Brook farm is a qualified instructor. She used to take a few pupils so maybe you could try phoning her?’ she suggested, hating to hear him sounding so deflated.

‘That’s a great idea! Can you let me have her number? I’ll give her a call tonight after work.’

‘I’ll hunt it out for you. And now I really must get down to some work.’

She quickly excused herself and made her way to her room. There were three consulting rooms at The Beeches, plus a treatment room which was normally occupied by Amy, their practice nurse. Helen had taken over Ian’s room after he’d died because it was the sunniest, while Harry Scott, their locum, was currently using the room she’d once had. She’d given Lewis the room that had belonged to Ian’s father and now she found herself wishing that she’d arranged to have it decorated. It had always been a gloomy room and a fresh lick of paint would have brightened it up. She should have got rid of some of the old-fashioned furniture, too. Ian had insisted on keeping the room exactly as his father had left it, but it was time the place was updated.

She frowned as she opened the door to her own room. It, too, desperately needed modernising. Ian had always refused to modernise the surgery but maybe it was time she did so. She couldn’t keep clinging to the past because it was what Ian would have wanted. She had to make her own decisions and it was a surprise to find herself thinking along such lines. She wasn’t sure what had sparked it off so she tried to forget about it as she summoned her first patient. There would be time enough for colour charts and fabric swatches later!

Her first patient was Diane Hartley, a teacher at the local high school. Helen smiled when she came into the room. ‘Hello, Diane. It’s not often I see you here on a weekday.’

‘No, and I feel dreadful about taking time off work, too, but I just had to come and see you.’

She suddenly burst into tears so Helen quickly got up and led her to the chair next to her desk. ‘Here, take this,’ she said, handing Diane a tissue. She waited while the other woman wiped her eyes then smiled at her. ‘Now, tell me what’s wrong.’

‘I don’t know! That’s the trouble. I feel so miserable all the time and I can’t seem to stop crying.’ Diane blew her nose. ‘It’s as though there’s this black cloud hanging over me all the time. It’s driving poor Martin mad.’

‘I’m sure Martin is more concerned about you than anything else,’ Helen assured her. She certainly didn’t want to add to the poor woman’s woes by encouraging her to worry about how her husband was feeling. ‘When did this all start?’

‘It’s been going on for a while now,’ Diane admitted. ‘I just kept telling myself to stop being so silly but it’s got to the point now where I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep on feeling this awful all the time, Dr Daniels. Life isn’t worth living.’

‘Then we need to do something about it,’ Helen said firmly, standing up. ‘I’m going to examine you to get an idea of how your health is generally and we’ll take it from there.’

She examined Diane and found nothing to alarm her. Putting her stethoscope away, she went to one of the cupboards. ‘I’d like to take a blood sample, if you wouldn’t mind. We need to find out if there’s a physical cause for the way you’re feeling.’

‘Of course I don’t mind!’ Diane sounded so relieved that Helen looked at her in surprise. Diane blushed. ‘I thought I was having some sort of mental breakdown. There’s a lot of pressure in my job and I assumed it was that which was causing the problem.’

‘It could very well be a factor,’ Helen agreed. ‘However, these feelings you’ve been experiencing could also be the result of physical changes in your body. Have you noticed anything else unusual happening recently?’

‘Well, yes, now that you mention it, I’ve been having these terrible hot spells. I wake up at night because I’m dripping wet. And my periods have become very irregular, too. I’ve always been like clockwork but I never know when I’m going to come on nowadays. Do you think they might be linked to how miserable I’ve been feeling lately?’

Helen chose her words with care. There could be a common factor linking all those symptoms and one that Diane might not be happy about, either. ‘It’s possible, if your oestrogen levels have dropped.’

‘My oestrogen levels…’ Diane repeated, then gasped. ‘You don’t think I could be going through the menopause, do you? I mean, I’m only thirty-six so surely it’s far too early for that to happen?’

‘I don’t intend to make any snap judgements today. However, you told me last year that you and Martin were trying for a baby so it’s possible that you haven’t conceived because your fertility levels have fallen. The blood test will confirm that, one way or the other.’

‘But does that mean I won’t be able to have a baby now?’ Diane asked in dismay.

‘I really can’t say what will happen until I know exactly what’s going on, Diane,’ Helen replied gently, uncapping a syringe and taking an alcohol swab out of its foil packet.

‘How long will it take to find out?’ Diane demanded, wincing as the needle slid into her arm.

‘Just a couple of days.’ Helen carefully withdrew the small amount of blood she needed for the tests and smiled reassuringly. ‘I’ll give it top priority so we should have the results back by the end of the week. And I’ll phone you immediately once I get them.’

‘And if it is the onset of the menopause, then what happens? Is there anything you can do to stop it?’

‘If it is that, I shall refer you to a fertility specialist. There’s a very good clinic near Blackpool which has achieved some excellent results. But it’s all speculation at this stage. We need to see those results before we know what we’re dealing with.’

Diane sighed as she stood up. ‘I don’t know what I’m hoping for now. If the tests show that I’m going through an early menopause, it will explain why I’ve been feeling so dreadful, but it could also mean that Martin and I might never have a family.’

‘I know how difficult it must be for you but at least we’re doing something positive and that’s the main thing.’

Helen made herself sound as upbeat as possible as she saw Diane out. However, she couldn’t helping drawing a comparison with her own situation. She was thirty-eight and her own fertility levels must be dropping, too. Ian had never wanted them to have a child because he’d had the twins. His first wife had died soon after Helen had started her GP training at The Beeches and it had seemed the most natural thing in the world to offer her help when Ian had found it difficult to manage with two small children to look after on top of doing his job.

Tom and Katie had been six when she had married Ian, and by that time she had loved them as much as she would have loved her own children. However, she couldn’t deny that it had been a blow when she’d found out that Ian hadn’t wanted to add to their family. She’d kept hoping that he would change his mind, but it hadn’t happened. Now it seemed unlikely that she would ever give birth to her own son or daughter, and she couldn’t help feeling sad at the thought of what she was missing.

No wonder Lewis was so determined to do all he could for his daughter, she thought, then sighed in exasperation. Why did every single thought lead back to Lewis?

Lewis was late for the meeting, mainly because he still hadn’t got used to judging the length of time he could spend with each patient. Six minutes were allotted for each consultation and it was far too little in his opinion. Harry and Amy were already sitting at the staffroom table with an open tin of biscuits in front of them when he arrived. Helen was pouring coffee and she glanced round when he appeared.

‘Black or white?’

‘Black, please, with plenty of sugar.’

‘Sounds like you had a hard morning,’ Amy said, grinning as he sat down. A pretty girl in her twenties, she was engaged to a policeman and in the throes of planning a summer wedding.

‘I haven’t adjusted to the conveyor-belt system you operate here so I find it difficult to keep up.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Switching my brain from what analgesic to prescribe for a teething toddler to how to treat Mr Parsons’s gout all in the space of a couple of minutes takes some doing!’

‘It must be your age,’ Amy retorted. ‘That’s why you can’t keep up.’

‘Cheeky monkey!’ Lewis laughed out loud. It was refreshing to be treated as just another member of the team after the awe he’d inspired in his previous post. ‘I’ll remind you of that in a few years’ time when you’re having problems keeping up the pace.’

‘Ah, but I’ll still be younger than you so I’ll still fare better,’ Amy countered.

‘Touché!’ He shook his head in defeat because he obviously wasn’t going to win this argument. He glanced round when Helen brought over the coffee, feeling his heart leap when her hand accidentally brushed against his as she placed it in front of him.

‘Thanks.’ Picking up the mug, he took a gulp of the coffee in the hope that it would steady him, but his hand was still tingling from the contact and it worried him that he should be so aware of her. He’d had his share of relationships and didn’t intend to have any more until Kristy was all grown up and no longer needed him. And by that time he’d be too old to bother!

‘Is Mr Parsons’s gout getting worse?’

Helen sat down opposite him and he hastily returned his thoughts to the reason for the meeting. He was supposed to be discussing his patients’ problems, not thinking about his own.

‘It’s spread to his ankle now and he’s in a lot of pain. The joint is very red and swollen, and obviously tender. Unfortunately, he forgot to renew his prescription after the last bout so he didn’t have any medication to stave it off. I gave him an injection of corticosteroids and another script. I also took some blood to check his levels of uric acid. He might need a new drug and diet regime to reduce the levels of uric acid in his body and help his kidneys excrete it more quickly. I noticed from his file that it’s two years since his last review so he must be due for one.’

‘He is. Let me know when the test results come back and we can discuss it then.’ She put her mug down and reached for the biscuit tin at the same moment as he went to get it. Once again their hands touched and he jerked his back when he felt the current of electricity that arced between them.

‘Of course, if you’re interested,’ he replied thickly, struggling to get a grip on himself.

‘Tom Parsons is one of our oldest patients. He was the first person to sign on when the practice opened so naturally I’m interested,’ Helen replied neutrally, so neutrally, in fact, that he couldn’t help wondering if she’d felt the electricity, too.

He shot her a wary glance but it was impossible to tell what she was thinking, and maybe it was better that he couldn’t. There was no room in his life for Helen or any other woman when he had Kristy to consider. The thought steadied him and he looked calmly at her. ‘I can’t imagine having patients for that length of time. Most of the people I treated at St Leona’s I saw just a couple of times—once before their surgery and once after it was over.’

‘It’s totally different here,’ Harry put in, helping himself to a biscuit. ‘Most of the folk we see have been on our books for years. Talk about from the cradle to the grave isn’t in it!’

Lewis smiled at the wry note in the younger man’s voice. ‘Don’t you approve?’

‘Oh, it’s great if you like that sort of thing.’ Harry grimaced. ‘It’s just not for me. I want a bit of excitement in my life before I settle for the old pipe and slippers routine. To be honest, I can’t imagine why you decided to swop an interesting job in London for working here…no offence intended, Helen,’ he added as an obvious afterthought.

‘And none taken,’ she replied smoothly. ‘I know this is just a stopgap for you, Harry, before you move on to bigger and better things.’

‘I didn’t mean it that way,’ the younger man said uncomfortably. ‘I enjoy working here but I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my days doing the same job. The Beeches is great the way it looks after all its patients so wonderfully, but it’s a bit of a throwback to another era. Very few general practices offer the kind of all-encompassing service we provide.’

‘Maybe they don’t but The Beeches was founded on the principle of commitment and caring, and that’s something I’m proud of and intend to continue,’ Helen said firmly. She turned and Lewis stiffened when he saw the challenge in her eyes. ‘How do you feel, Lewis? Do you think we’re out of date in the way we do things here?’

‘I think you could cut out a lot of the unnecessary work,’ he said carefully, not wanting to offend her.

‘Really? Would you care to elaborate?’

She stared back at him and he sighed when he saw the glint in her beautiful eyes. He really and truly didn’t want to start an argument but, now that she’d asked for his opinion, he felt duty bound to give it.

‘A lot of patients we see don’t actually need to be seen by a doctor. They could visit the local pharmacy and buy something over the counter for their cough or their cold. If we could be more selective when making appointments then we could spend extra time on the people who really do need our help.’

‘And how do you propose we sort out who does and who doesn’t need an appointment?’ she shot back.

He shrugged. ‘Most general practices use their reception staff to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.’

‘I’m sure they do. However, the reception staff aren’t medically qualified so how can they assess if a patient really needs to see one of us? If we ask them to make decisions like that, there is the risk of someone who is really sick not getting an appointment.’

‘That’s a valid point. However, the reception staff could be trained to ask a few simple questions when people phone for an appointment,’ he pointed out, although he suspected there was little hope of persuading her to adopt a different policy. However, it seemed wrong to him that their lists should be cluttered up with people who really didn’t need to see a doctor when it put added pressure on everyone.

Helen, for instance, could spare herself a lot of work if she would make a few simple changes to the way the practice was run. In the week he’d been there, he’d discovered that she was the first to arrive each morning and the last to leave each night. She didn’t even take an afternoon off like the rest of them did. She worked far too hard and it seemed wrong to him that she felt that she had to devote her every waking minute to the job.

‘I’m afraid I wouldn’t be at all happy with that idea.’ She pushed back her chair, making it clear that she didn’t intend to discuss the matter further. However, now that he’d got this far, Lewis wasn’t prepared to let it drop without a fight.

‘If it’s change that worries you then it’s always the first step that’s the most difficult.’ He shrugged when she looked sharply at him. ‘It gets easier after that.’

‘Thank you for that sage advice, Dr Cole. However, I’m the senior partner in this practice and I shall decide how best to run it.’

‘But Lewis has made a legitimate point,’ Harry interjected. ‘Take this morning, for instance. I saw three people who had colds and nothing else wrong with them. It’s a waste of our time to have to deal with things like that when folk would be better off at home in bed.’

‘Thank you for your contribution, Harry, but I think I’ve made my feelings on the matter perfectly clear. The Beeches has been run on an open-house basis ever since it was opened and I can see no reason to change the system at this point in time.’

She marched to the door, pausing to shoot an icy look over her shoulder. Lewis winced when he received the full brunt of her displeasure. ‘I’ll see you in the car park in ten minutes’ time. We have a full list of calls to get through so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t keep me waiting.’

With that she swept out of the door, leaving behind her a small but potent silence, broken when Harry cleared his throat.

‘Ahem! That went down rather well, don’t you think?’

‘Like a lead balloon.’ Lewis downed the rest of his coffee then got up to leave, knowing it would be unwise to keep Helen waiting. It had been her idea to accompany him to any home visits during his first week. She’d offered to introduce him to the patients and make sure that he knew where he was going. However, he couldn’t help wishing that she’d left him to his own devices. The thought of spending an afternoon with her after what had happened was less than appealing.

‘I still think you were right to say what you did.’ Harry gathered up their cups and took them to the sink. ‘Don’t you, Amy?’

‘I do. We need to cut down the amount of work we do otherwise we’re going to sink under the sheer number of patients we’re expected to see each day. I was hoping things might improve when Helen took over, but she’s not changed a thing. She runs this place along exactly the same lines as Ian and his father always did.’

‘Why is she so reluctant to alter the routine?’ Lewis asked curiously.

‘I’m not sure.’ Amy shrugged. ‘Maybe it’s her way of keeping Ian’s memory alive. If she changes things then it might seem that she’s trying to get rid of everything he held dear. But something needs to be done otherwise she’s going to run herself into the ground. Since the twins took off for Australia on their gap year trip before university, Helen has been working harder than ever. I think she’s lonely, although she’d never admit it.’

‘Her children are old enough to go to university?’ he exclaimed in amazement.

‘Oh, they’re not actually her kids, not biologically anyway,’ Amy explained hurriedly. ‘Ian was married before and when his wife died, Helen helped him look after the twins. They were only toddlers at the time and a real handful from what my mum has told me. She used to be the practice nurse before she retired and she was here when it happened. Helen was doing her GP training at the time but she stayed on after Ian’s first wife died and married Ian a couple of years later.’

‘I see. So does Helen have any children of her own, as well as the twins, I mean?’ he asked, wanting to form a clearer picture of the situation because it seemed important for some reason.

‘No. From what Mum has said, I don’t think Ian wanted any more children so he and Helen never had any.’ Amy sighed. ‘I think it was a bit mean of him, actually. I get the impression that she would have loved a baby of her own. She’s wonderful with the little ones—they all adore her.’

Very mean indeed, he thought grimly as he left the staffroom, although he took care not to say so. Helen’s reluctance to make any changes to the way things were done in the surgery was worrying, especially if it was bound up with loyalty to her dead husband. However, what really upset him was the thought of her disappointment at not being allowed to have a child of her own.

It seemed wrong to him that a woman who was as caring and as committed as Helen should be denied the one thing she wanted most of all. It also made him feel incredibly helpless to know there was nothing he could do to help her.




CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_018983a6-9516-5d12-87fe-4fbd709c31b3)


‘THE next case is an interesting one. The patient’s name is Ben Harmon. He’s a farmer and two months ago he had a serious accident while he was ploughing one of his fields.’

Helen withdrew Ben Harmon’s file from her case and handed it to Lewis then started the car. They were onto their fifth call of the day and the anger she’d felt in the surgery still hadn’t abated. She could scarcely believe that he’d had the temerity to tell her how she should run the practice after he’d been there for just one week. Why on earth did he think that he knew more about running the place than she did?

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did at the surgery. You have every right to be annoyed with me.’

The apology caught her unawares so that the car swerved towards the ditch. Helen’s mouth compressed as she quickly righted it. She hated to feel so vulnerable. Lewis was the new partner in the practice—an incomer, as the people of Summerfield would have called him—and he shouldn’t have this effect on her. She had to nip these foolish feelings in the bud.

‘I’m not annoyed. You’re entitled to voice your opinion, just as I am entitled to veto any ideas I feel aren’t appropriate.’

‘Good.’

‘Good?’ She shot him a wary glance, taking care to keep her attention on the road this time. Fortunately, there was very little traffic about so there’d been no danger of her causing an accident earlier. However, she liked to be in control of everything she did, whether it was driving a car, diagnosing a patient or choosing a lover.

The last thought made her gasp and she bit her lip, hoping that he hadn’t heard the revealing little sound. She had never entertained such a salacious thought in the whole of her life and couldn’t understand why it had occurred to her now. It smacked of desperation and…and sexual frustration, and she could feel herself growing hot at the idea it was that which had prompted it.

The strange thing was that sex had never been that important to her. She’d had very little experience when she’d married Ian and their sex life had been rather disappointing at first until she’d realised that the bells and whistles she’d read about in books only happened in fiction, not real life. Once she had adjusted to the realities of married life, she’d grown to appreciate the feeling of closeness that love-making had engendered, and realised it was worth far more than the wild passion that was the staple of all those romance novels. However, that didn’t explain why it suddenly felt as though she’d been missing something.

‘What do you mean by “good”?’ she demanded, furious with him as well as with herself for getting carried away by such a foolish notion.

‘I meant it’s good that you aren’t annoyed and that you welcome input from your staff,’ he replied with a calm that merely highlighted her own waspishness.

‘I am always open to new ideas,’ she told him between gritted teeth. ‘However, as I made clear before, I shall decide how the surgery should be run.’

‘And whoever works there will just have to fit in.’

His tone was bland so she couldn’t blame that for the fact that she felt a bit ridiculous all of a sudden. It was completely contrary to her nature to lay down the law, yet that’s what she’d done both now and earlier on in the staffroom. She was sorely tempted to apologise for her behaviour, only she wasn’t sure if it would be wise to show any sign of weakness in front of him. It was a relief when he changed the subject by asking her about the patient they were about to visit.

‘I think I mentioned that Ben was ploughing when the accident happened,’ she explained in a deliberately neutral tone. ‘He ploughed up some old oildrums which had been dumped in one of the fields, and when he got off the tractor to see what they contained, he ended up inhaling a massive dose of raw chromium fumes.’

‘How on earth did drums of chromium get into his field?’

‘Nobody knows.’ Helen shrugged. ‘The police are still investigating, but they think it might have been waste from the local tannery. It closed down a couple of years ago and the police are trying to trace the owners.’

‘I see. So what happened to Mr Harmon as a result of the accident?’

‘There was some damage to his nasal passages but the ENT specialist has sorted that out now. The real problem has been the burns on his arms. He’s been seeing a plastic surgeon at the local hospital so today I want to check how he’s progressing.’

‘So this visit isn’t because he’s actually ill?’

‘No. But it’s our policy to follow up on a patient, as I explained at your interview,’ she said, trying not to bridle at the implied criticism.

‘I remember. I also recall telling you that it was a policy I’d adopted myself. However, when I saw patients following their surgery, it was because I was still responsible for their care. If you’ve passed this patient over to a consultant, I would have thought your part in the proceedings had ended.’

‘Follow-up care doesn’t come with a cut-off point. I was and still am Ben Harmon’s first point of call for any future medical treatment. I like to be fully prepared so I know what I might be dealing with.’

‘An admirable sentiment but also a luxury few GPs can afford. Most are happy to hand over a patient to someone else to free up their time.’

‘Then that’s obviously where I differ from most GPs. I take my responsibilities to my patients very seriously,’ she shot back, stung into replying with more vigour than she’d intended.

‘Maybe too seriously,’ he suggested, his voice grating in a way that made the hairs on the back of her neck spring to attention.

Helen didn’t reply, afraid that if she said anything it might be too revealing. Letting him know about the power he had over her would be a mistake and she knew it, too. However, her silence didn’t appear to deter him, as she’d hoped it would.

‘There’s no doubt that you’re totally committed to the welfare of your patients, Helen, but is it right that you should put them first all the time and yourself second?’

‘I have no idea what—’

‘I’m talking about,’ he finished for her. ‘And that just makes it worse. You obviously can’t see that it’s wrong to work yourself into the ground the way you’re doing, and wrong to devote every waking minute to your job.’

He placed his hand on her arm and she had to make a conscious effort not to react when she felt the warmth of his fingers seeping into her skin. ‘When was the last time you took a holiday, for instance?’

‘That’s none of your business,’ she retorted, shrugging off his hand because if she allowed it to remain there she’d want to feel it on other parts of her body as well.

The thought was too much, coming on top of all the others. She drew up at the side of the road and turned to glare at him. ‘How dare you pass judgement on how I choose to conduct my life? You’ve been at the surgery for less than a week yet you seem to think that you know everything about me.’

‘It wasn’t difficult to formulate a fairly clear picture of your life.’

He didn’t back down, certainly didn’t apologise, and her heart spasmed in fear because she wasn’t sure if she was up to winning this argument. Reaching for the handbrake, she went to set off again but this time his hand closed over hers, hard and firm as he stopped her.

‘Your life can be summed up in one word, Helen: work. While it might be admirable to show a certain degree of dedication, you are taking it to extremes, and that isn’t good for you or the rest of the staff. A good manager leads by example.’

‘Thank you for that advice, Dr Cole. However, this isn’t London and while your theories might work there they don’t apply here. I don’t have the luxury of a team of staff at my beck and call. If I didn’t put one hundred per cent effort into my job, we wouldn’t be able to keep the practice running.’

‘Which is why it’s so important to cut down on any unnecessary work. The whole appointment system needs to be streamlined and made more selective. That way everyone will benefit. Patients who need extra care will get it and the staff won’t be run ragged, trying to do everything.’

‘Nobody else has complained. Maybe they are more used to hard work than you are.’

‘And maybe they don’t want to make your life any more difficult. Everyone can see that you’re doing too much, Helen. You need to ease off and find some outside interests. Working the number of hours that you do isn’t good for anyone.’

‘I’m not listening to any more,’ she murmured, but he ignored her and carried on stripping away her defences as though they were tissue thin.

‘You’re the first to arrive each morning and the last to leave each night. Even on Sunday, when I drove past the surgery to show Kristy where I would be working, your car was parked outside. Despite what you might think, I worked damned hard in my last post, but I knew when I needed to take time off and I took it. It makes me very sad to think that you haven’t anything better to do with your life apart from work.’

He let go of her hand and she shrank back in her seat when he touched her lightly on the cheek because the feel of his fingers on her skin was every bit as potent as she’d imagined it would be.

‘You deserve more than a life that’s comprised solely of work, Helen.’

‘So how do you feel today, Mr Harmon?’

‘A lot better than I did.’ The young farmer smiled wryly. ‘I really thought my number was up when I breathed in those fumes. If it hadn’t been for Polly, it might have been, too.’

‘Polly?’ Lewis made a conscious effort to appear interested. Maybe it wouldn’t make up for what he’d done by telling Helen that her life was a mess, but it might make him feel a bit better.

‘The dog.’ Ben Harmon put his hand on the German shepherd’s head. The animal responded immediately, looking up at him with adoring eyes, and Lewis felt even worse.

Helen most certainly wouldn’t look at him like that in the foreseeable future! In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if she told him that he no longer had a job when they left the farm. The thought of the disruption it would cause to Kristy’s life if they had to move again was more than he could face and he silently cursed himself.

‘It was Polly’s barking that alerted everyone, you see.’

‘Really?’ He forced himself to concentrate on what the farmer was saying. ‘It’s a good job she was with you.’

‘You can say that again. I’d have had it if Dad hadn’t heard the commotion Polly was making and come to see what was going on. I’d passed out by then, overcome by the fumes from those containers. Dad managed to drag me out of the way and phoned the surgery.’

Ben glanced at Helen and chuckled. ‘Dr Daniels soon got me sorted out. She drove me to hospital and rushed me straight through to the emergency unit. It’s all a bit hazy but I remember the fuss she made when some young doctor foolishly tried to stop her. Folk round here know better than to get in her way when she’s on a mission!’

Lewis joined in when Ben laughed but his spirits had sunk to an all-time low. Obviously, Helen was highly regarded in the town because of her dedication, yet he’d had the nerve to criticise her. Taking a pair of gloves out of his case, he mentally rehearsed what he would say to her later if she gave him the chance to apologise. Even though he stood by what he’d said about the way she ran the practice, maybe it hadn’t been his place to point it out.

‘I’d like to take a look at your arms,’ he explained. ‘I see from your notes that the district nurse has been to visit you but I’d like to check how they’re healing.’

‘It’s taken a bit of time to get this far,’ Ben admitted as Lewis gently peeled away the dressings. ‘The doctor I saw at the hospital wasn’t sure if there’d been some other chemicals mixed in with the chromium, possibly some kind of acid.’

‘They look very much like acid burns to me.’ He glanced at Helen, doing his best to slip back into his old persona. The cool, efficient surgeon was a role he’d played for many years and he sensed that she would respond better if he adopted it again. It was when she thought he was getting too close that the problems began.

The thought stunned him. It had never occurred to him before that Helen’s prickliness might stem from her feelings towards him. He had to make a conscious effort to continue. ‘What do you think, Helen? Do they look like acid burns to you?’

‘Very much so. There was a similar incident a couple of years ago when another drum of chemicals was found in a ditch. One of the boys who found it was badly burnt when the acid leaked onto his feet.’

Her tone was professional to a fault and he breathed a sigh of relief. Of course she would feel duty bound to respond in front of a patient but at least she was speaking to him, and that was something.

‘Did the consultant at the hospital suggest plastic surgery?’ he asked, turning to the farmer again.

‘He did, although I’m not sure if I fancy the idea.’ Ben grimaced. ‘He said something about taking skin from my thighs to cover the burns, but that would mean I’d have two lots of scars instead of just one.’

‘The plastic surgeons are very good so any scarring on your legs would be hardly noticeable. But it’s your decision so don’t let yourself be talked into it if it isn’t what you want. The flesh is healing so I’d guess the consultant suggested it for cosmetic reasons.’

‘It would be all right if I refused, then?’ Ben looked a bit sheepish. ‘I’m hopeless when it comes to anyone in authority. I never stand up for myself and say what I want. I just go along with whatever they suggest.’

‘Of course you can refuse!’ Lewis patted him on the shoulder. ‘Every patient has the right to refuse treatment so don’t let yourself be railroaded into doing something you aren’t happy about.’

‘Well, if you think it would be all right, I’ ll tell the doctor that I’d rather not bother.’ Ben sounded relieved. ‘I don’t want to be laid up any longer than necessary when it means my dad has to do all the work. You get a lot of knocks when you’re farming so a few extra scars aren’t going to make much difference to me!’

‘That’s one way to look at it.’ Lewis laughed. ‘Right, I think that’s it…Unless there’s anything you want to check, Helen,’ he added politely.

‘No. Everything seems to be progressing very nicely from what I’ve seen today.’ She smiled at the young farmer. ‘Don’t forget that you can ring me any time, Ben. You have my home phone number so you don’t need to go through the on-call service if it’s after surgery hours.’

‘Thanks, Dr Daniels. I really appreciate that.’

Ben saw them out, putting a restraining hand on the dog’s head when it tried to follow them to the car. Lewis fastened his seat belt, taking care not to look at Helen as she got in beside him. He couldn’t believe what he’d heard. Helen handed out her private phone number and told patients to call her at home rather than use the on-call service?

He sat in silence as they drove back to town. The situation was far worse than he’d imagined it to be, yet what could he do about it? By the time they arrived back at the surgery, he was seething with frustration. Stalking into his room, he tossed his case onto the desk with a thud that reverberated around the room. Amy happened to be passing and she stopped.

‘Everything OK, Lewis?’

‘Fine,’ he snapped, then sighed when he saw her start of surprise. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just so bloody furious with Helen. She must be mad!’

‘Not a word I’d normally use to describe her,’ Amy said wryly, coming into the room. ‘Come on, tell me what’s happened now.’

‘I just found out that Helen has been telling patients to phone her at home if they have a problem outside surgery hours.’

‘Really?’ Amy whistled. ‘She’s kept that very quiet because I had no idea. Oh, I know she wasn’t keen on hiring an on-call service. It took us months to convince her that she couldn’t keep going out to visit patients every night and still do her job during the day. But I honestly thought she’d accepted the idea by now.’

‘It didn’t sound like it from what I heard.’ He thrust an impatient hand through his hair, wondering why he was getting so steamed up. It was up to Helen what she did, yet he couldn’t accept that it was none of his business when she was in serious danger of running herself into the ground. ‘How long have you been using an on-call service?’

‘About a year. Ian refused to use one when he was alive and I think that was why we had such difficulty persuading Helen to sign up.’ Amy shrugged. ‘It’s the old story, I’m afraid—what Ian decided is still law around here.’

‘But can’t she see that it’s time she moved on?’ he exploded. He swung round and walked to the window so that Amy couldn’t see how frustrated he felt. He didn’t want her to start wondering why he was so concerned about Helen’s working habits when he couldn’t explain it himself. He just knew it was wrong for her to be living this way.

‘I know it must have been awful for her to be widowed so young,’ he said over his shoulder. ‘But it’s time she got over it. And clinging to her dead husband’s beliefs isn’t the way to do it.’

‘Lewis,’ Amy said anxiously, but he ignored her, needing to vent the frustration that had been building up inside him all day.

‘She seems to be stuck in some sort of a time warp. That’s why we’re using such an outdated appointment system. It’s as though the world stopped when her husband died, but she needs to understand that it’s time she moved on!’

He glanced round, wondering if he’d said too much, and felt a jolt of alarm hit him when he saw how embarrassed Amy looked. Maybe his remarks had been a little too revealing?

A movement by the door attracted his attention and he turned. Helen was standing outside the room and he knew immediately that she’d heard every word. Her eyes met his for a second and his heart sank when he saw the pain they held. However, before he could attempt to make amends, she hurried away.

‘Oh, dear!’

Amy looked really upset as she quickly left the room. Lewis sympathised with her. He felt dreadful, too. He had just taken everything that Helen held dear and rubbished it. He didn’t think he would ever get over the way she’d looked at him just now—so wounded and betrayed.

He sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. What had he done?

Helen went straight to her room. There was a buzzing in her head and her legs were trembling. Walking over to the handbasin, she sluiced her face with cold water but the feelings didn’t subside.

She sat down at her desk, wondering what she was going to do. She had to do something, of course. She couldn’t let Lewis get away with what he’d said. She had to make him understand that he was wrong about her…

Only he wasn’t.

She had been stuck in a time warp since Ian had died. She’d been clinging to the past because the future terrified her. What did she have to look forward to? She was a widow of thirty-eight with two grown-up stepchildren and a demanding job.

That was it. There was nothing more, nothing for herself, the woman she was inside, a woman who once had dreamed of having a child of her own and someone to love her for all eternity. Lewis was right—she did devote every waking minute to her job. But what else did she have?

‘I’m sorry you overheard that. I had no right to say what I did and I certainly had no right to involve Amy. Those were my views and they had nothing whatsoever to do with her.’

Helen’s head shot up when she recognised Lewis’s voice. All the fear and frustration she was feeling suddenly seemed to combine into one potent force and she rounded on him.

‘It’s customary to knock before you enter a room. Or don’t you believe the rules which most civilised people live by apply to you, Dr Cole?’

‘I did knock. Obviously, you didn’t hear me.’

He came over to her desk and there was something in his eyes that made her anger suddenly pale in the face of all the other emotions she was experiencing. She didn’t want him looking at her as though he cared. She couldn’t afford to let herself believe that he was interested in her. The only thing he was interested in was getting his own way!

She shot to her feet. ‘No, I didn’t hear you. I was too busy working out what I was going to say to you.’

‘And have you decided?’ he asked, his voice grating so that her hands clenched when she felt another rush of awareness hit her.

‘Yes.’

There was no way that she was prepared to give in to these feelings and let him gain the upper hand. She was in charge of this practice and she wouldn’t allow anyone to overrule her. Her job was all she had and the thought made her feel more mixed up than ever, only she couldn’t afford to let him know how painful the idea was. She looked him squarely in the eye because the best way she knew to resolve this problem was by meeting it head on.

‘You had no right to discuss me with anyone. I will not permit you to make personal remarks about the way I choose to live my life. If you cannot accept that then I’m afraid I shall have no choice other than to demand your resignation.’




CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_0fbb758f-ee3d-5492-a921-295ffbb9734e)


KRISTY was very quiet on the way home from the after-school club that night but Lewis didn’t try to draw her out as he usually did. He was too busy thinking about what Helen had said to him.

He didn’t want to have to tender his resignation so from now on he would be far more careful about what he said. He also didn’t want to upset her again and it was worrying to know that he was so concerned about her feelings when she’d made it clear that she didn’t care about his. He tried not to dwell on the thought as he drew up in front of the house. He spent far too little time with Kristy as it was and it wasn’t fair to spend it worrying about his problems.

‘Would you like to watch a video after we’ve had our tea, sweetheart?’ he asked, smiling at the little girl.

‘All right,’ she mumbled, avoiding his eyes as she scrambled out of the car.

Lewis sighed as he followed her to the house. She was always so distant with him and he only wished that he could find a way to break down the barriers she’d erected around herself. He knew he must be patient if he hoped to gain her trust, but he would have loved to receive the occasional positive response from her.

‘Can I go and see the horse?’ she asked as soon as they were inside.

‘Yes, but put your schoolbag away first.’

He went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator as she ran off down the hall. He’d not had time to go shopping since they’d arrived so there wasn’t much choice. They’d fallen into the habit of buying a take-away supper every Friday in London and he suddenly decided that they would continue the practice. Kristy might appreciate the familiar routine and he would definitely appreciate a night free from cooking!

He went to the back door and told Kristy they were going out to buy their supper. She was reluctant to leave the horse, although she didn’t object, and once again he found himself wishing that she would show a little more spirit. Maybe some parents would be delighted by such unquestioning obedience but it troubled him. She should be making her opinions known instead of passively agreeing to everything he suggested.

It made him see how much work he still had to do to forge a bond between them, and how silly it would be to involve himself any more in Helen’s affairs. He needed to concentrate on his daughter and forget everything else.

‘Just leave everything in the tray, Janet, and get off home. It’s far too late to do the filing now.’

Helen sighed as the receptionist thanked her and hurriedly left. It was almost a quarter to seven—way past the time they were supposed to finish. Everyone else had left some time ago but she’d slotted a couple of extra patients into her list when they’d turned up without appointments. She could have refused to see them, but Ian had drummed it into her that the patients came first and that their own needs came a very poor second.

She frowned as she switched off the waiting-room lights. She’d never given any thought to that theory before, yet all of a sudden she found herself wondering if it was the right approach. Obviously, the patients deserved the highest level of care but was it really necessary to sacrifice their private lives to achieve that? Surely there should be a better balance between the needs of the patients and the needs of the staff—as Lewis had pointed out.

Her mouth compressed as she made her way to her room. Maybe she did need to make some changes to the way the surgery was run, but she didn’t need Lewis to advise her. He could keep his opinions to himself from now on. And if he couldn’t do so then he would soon discover that she hadn’t been making an idle threat when she’d promised to fire him!




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