Reunited By Their Baby
Jennifer Taylor
He’s back to claim his family…But can Beth trust him with her heart?GP Beth Andrews has a wonderful job at The Larches Practice and a baby girl she adores. The only thing missing is her husband! Now Callum O’Neill is back, and he’s stunned and delighted to discover he has a much-wanted child. He’s determined to renew his marriage with Beth—but can she trust that this time he’ll stay for ever?
He’s back to claim his family...
But can Beth trust him with her heart?
GP Beth Andrews has a wonderful job at The Larches Practice and a baby girl she adores. The only thing missing is her husband! Now Callum O’Neill is back and he’s stunned and delighted to discover he has a much-wanted child. He’s determined to renew his marriage with Beth, but can she trust that this time he’ll stay forever?
JENNIFER TAYLOR has written for several different Mills & Boon series, but it wasn’t until she ‘discovered’ Medical Romances that she found her true niche. Jennifer loves the blend of modern romance and exciting medical drama. Widowed, she divides her time between homes in Lancashire and the Lake District. Her hobbies include reading, walking, travelling and spending time with her two gorgeous grandchildren.
Also by Jennifer Taylor (#u202b70a3-a8b6-5b1c-8f8b-c2ec535c736d)
One More Night with Her Desert Prince…
Best Friend to Perfect Bride
Miracle Under the Mistletoe
The Greek Doctor’s Secret Son
Reawakened by the Surgeon’s Touch
The Larches Practice miniseries
The Boss Who Stole Her Heart
Bride for the Single Dad
Reunited by Their Baby
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).
Reunited by Their Baby
Jennifer Taylor
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-07502-2
REUNITED BY THEIR BABY
© 2018 Jennifer Taylor
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For the other members of the earring club:
Charlotte, Janet and Ruth. With thanks for all the fun and laughter.
Special thanks must go to Ruth for her ‘research’.
Above and beyond, is all I can say!
Contents
Cover (#u55d83799-b1ba-56c6-8a74-42f51e6a03be)
Back Cover Text (#ua05ef7c1-70ec-55c3-8be8-26f01bd3c560)
About the Author (#uad48d6d8-91e5-527f-87bb-fc0a7c173d76)
Booklist (#u8113fb80-de47-58c0-9faa-7499df741ab5)
Title Page (#ud9303a76-3df4-5046-acb8-e46802e4ba2e)
Copyright (#u03846987-8577-5089-b1cc-f230b284dd78)
Dedication (#u301b43cb-54be-540e-aea4-9bf867a1dcad)
CHAPTER ONE (#ucacb55de-33af-50e0-8104-9ab2b2aa8276)
CHAPTER TWO (#uc75ff8cf-0eee-5dae-85d4-afc8caa337e9)
CHAPTER THREE (#u42f082af-95fd-5f8d-9814-16d84a7e5741)
CHAPTER FOUR (#u8144dd0d-9f9c-5b53-a428-7c4a0a4f2f77)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u202b70a3-a8b6-5b1c-8f8b-c2ec535c736d)
HE WAS LATE. Almost a year late by his reckoning, although, by rights, he should have been here from the very beginning.
Callum O’Neill’s mouth thinned as he paid off the cab and turned to face the cottage that had once been his home. He had sworn when he had left that he would never come back here again. This place held too many bad memories and he had promised himself that he would do his best to forget what had gone on. However, that had been before he had received that letter. Before everything had changed.
Callum could feel his heart thumping as he walked up the path. He knocked on the door, wondering what sort of reception he would receive. He wasn’t expecting red carpet treatment but he was hoping that things would improve once he explained what had happened. It had taken months for the letter to reach him. He had been moving around such a lot as he had helped to set up the programme he had been working on. It was vital to roll it out to as many communities as possible as Malaria was endemic over much of sub-Saharan Africa. It was little wonder the letter hadn’t reached him for such a long time but would Beth understand that? He hoped so. He couldn’t bear to think that they would end up arguing again. They had done enough of that in the past and he, for one, couldn’t bear to go down that route again.
‘If you’re wanting Dr Andrews then she isn’t there.’
Callum swung round. ‘Oh, right. Do you know where she is, by any chance?’ he asked, recognising the elderly woman who had spoken to him as a patient from the surgery. He had worked at The Larches Surgery for almost a year, filling in as a locum GP so he could be with Beth. Their relationship had already been under a lot of strain by then and it hadn’t helped that they were living so far apart—he based in London and Beth in the Yorkshire Dales—so he had made the decision to relocate. Sadly, it hadn’t helped their marriage as much as he had hoped it would. Things had gone too far by that stage and so instead they had split up, which made what had happened later all the more poignant...
‘Why, she’s in the church, of course! Where else would she be?’ The woman frowned. ‘You’re Dr O’Neill, aren’t you? I thought I recognised you. We’ve not seen you around here for a while. Funny that you should turn up today, although maybe you’ve been invited.’
‘Invited?’ Callum repeated uncertainly. ‘Invited to what?’
‘The wedding.’ She sniffed. ‘Although if you ask me it’s far too soon for them to be getting married. I mean, they barely know each other. Still, fools rush in, as my old mum used to say.’
With that, she went on her way. Callum stared after her, feeling shock reverberating throughout his entire body. Beth was getting married again? She was getting married today! His feet were already moving before the thought had sunk in. He raced across the road, taking the path that led to Beesdale Parish Church. He could hear the church bells ringing and put on a spurt. He had to make Beth see that she couldn’t go ahead and marry someone else, not now, not ever! It was as though his mind was crystal clear all of a sudden and for the first time in ages he knew what he wanted, and that was Beth.
The bells had stopped ringing by the time Callum reached the church and his panic increased to epic proportions. The service must have started and he had no idea how long it took to reach the part where the minister declared the couple man and wife. When he and Beth had married it was in a registry office, a no-frills affair that had been over in minutes. Neither of them had cared about the ceremony. The only thing that had mattered was that they could make their vows to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. They had been so sure that their love would last for ever, he thought sadly, but it hadn’t worked out that way. As he had discovered, all the promises in the world couldn’t guarantee that.
The thought lent wings to his feet as he raced up the path. The heavy oak doors were closed and he wasted valuable seconds, wrestling them open. He almost fell into the church when they finally gave way and he saw people turn to look at him but he had eyes for no one except the woman in white standing before the altar. She was the only person who hadn’t turned around and his heart ached with a searing pain when it struck him that she was oblivious to his presence. She was too busy looking at the man she was about to marry to notice him.
Callum felt the coldness of defeat sweep over him. In that moment, he realised that he had no right to stop what was happening. He turned to leave, knowing it was the only thing he could do. He’d had his chance and blown it; it wasn’t fair to expect Beth to take him back. Maybe he hadn’t known the truth until that letter had reached him but he had still left her, hadn’t he? Why would she want him back when she had found someone else?
‘Callum? What are you doing here?’
He recognised her voice immediately, heaven knew, he should do when he heard it every night in his dreams. Each time he fell asleep he heard her speaking to him, saw her, touched her, held her, loved her, felt her love him in return. The only difference was that she wouldn’t be looking at him with love in her eyes now. Her love was reserved for another man, the man who was going to do his best to make her happy, as he had failed to do.
‘I asked you a question, Callum. At least have the decency to answer it!’
There was no welcome in her voice, no hint of warmth. That she didn’t want him there was obvious. Callum turned slowly around because what else could he do? Just for a moment his vision blurred before he managed to focus and he blinked as he took stock of the pale pink dress she was wearing and the jaunty little hat with its swirl of purple feathers on the crown...
His gaze flew to the couple standing in front of the altar and he felt the blood drain from his head when he realised that the bride was Polly. He didn’t recognise the groom; he had never seen him before, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that Beth wasn’t getting married today. It meant that he still had a chance, one precious chance to win her back! His heart was in his mouth as he turned to face her. This was the most important moment of his life and he had to get it right.
‘I came to see you, Beth. You and our baby.’
* * *
Beth could feel her legs trembling and clutched hold of a nearby pew. She could hear the murmur of voices as the congregation started whispering together. Were they as shocked as she was to see Callum? Were they wondering why he was here and what he wanted? In a small town like Beesdale, it was hard to keep anything secret—everyone knew that he had run out on her and left her pregnant. Now the thought of her daughter helped to steady her. No way was she going to allow Callum to destroy Beatrix’s life the way he had destroyed hers!
She turned cold hazel eyes on him. ‘Come outside. We can’t talk in here.’
She didn’t wait to see if he was following as she led the way out of the church. It was up to Callum what he did and she had no intention of trying to influence him in any way. She walked down the path, only pausing when she reached the lich gate. There was very little traffic about as most of the townspeople were in the church. Polly was the local midwife and greatly loved; everyone wanted to help her celebrate her special day. Tears suddenly pricked her eyes but Beth blinked them away. She wasn’t going to think about the dreams she’d had when she and Callum had married. That was all in the past and too much had happened since. Their divorce had been difficult enough, but the fact that he hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge their child until today was so much worse.
‘I’m sorry. I know it isn’t enough but I am truly sorry, Beth.’
There was a note in his deep voice that tugged at her heart strings before she pulled herself together. If she gave in and allowed her emotions free rein then she would regret it. She had to focus on the facts, highlight them in neon-bright letters so she would never forget them. Callum had left her. He had left her because he hadn’t loved her any more. He had been so desperate to be rid of her that he hadn’t even contacted her when she had written to tell him that she was pregnant. He could apologise all he liked, but it wouldn’t change anything.
‘It’s too late for apologies, Callum. I’m not interested. The only thing I want to know is what you’re doing here.’
‘Surely that’s obvious,’ he shot back. ‘I came to see you and the baby.’
‘I see. And it’s taken you—what?—over a year to get round to it?’ She gave a little laugh, hoping he couldn’t hear the bitterness it held. There must be no displays of emotion, no hint of any feelings that might make him think that she still cared. ‘You didn’t exactly rush to get here, did you? But there again, I doubt if Beatrix and I were your number one priority—’
‘Beatrix? You mean that we have a daughter?’
‘Yes,’ Beth replied curtly, closing her mind to the shock she could hear in his voice. If she refused to admit to her own feelings then she certainly didn’t want to wonder how Callum felt!
Callum felt his head reel. Ever since he had read Beth’s letter he had wondered about the sex of their baby. To be honest, it had been difficult to believe that he was finally about to become a father after everything they had been through, yet all of a sudden finding out that they had a little girl made it seem real. His breath caught as he was swamped by a whole host of emotions ranging from shock to sheer elation. He had a daughter. A little girl called Beatrix. The thought seemed to rock his whole world so that it was hard to speak. ‘H-how old is she?’
‘Almost ten months,’ Beth replied tightly. ‘Although if you hadn’t been so busy saving the world then you wouldn’t need to ask that, Callum.’
‘That isn’t true!’ He ran his hands through his thick dark brown hair, feeling them trembling as he tried to picture what Beatrix looked like. Was she dark like him or fair like Beth? It was impossible to guess and before he could ask, Beth carried on.
‘Oh, I think it is true, but you just don’t want to admit it.’ She stared back at him, unwilling to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even though he understood why she refused to accept that he was telling the truth, it still hurt. ‘If you’d cared back then, you would have contacted me. Even a text message would have been better than nothing, but you couldn’t even spare the time for that. The fact that I was expecting our child meant nothing to you, did it, Callum?’
‘Of course it did!’ He grasped hold of her hands, his fingers biting into hers as he willed her to believe him. ‘It was what we’d wanted for so long, Beth. What we’d struggled to achieve...’
He broke off, obviously recalling what a struggle it had been, Beth thought sadly. She had always wanted a family. Coming from a close and loving family herself, she had never even considered the idea that conceiving a child of her own might prove to be a problem. With two older sisters, who both had children, she had simply assumed that she would have them too. However, as the months had passed, and she had failed to get pregnant, it had seemed increasingly unlikely that she would ever achieve her dream of becoming a mother.
Callum had never been as keen on the idea of them having a child, however. Although he had gone along with her desire to have a baby, she knew it had been more to please her than out of a genuine need to have a family of his own. She had told herself that it didn’t matter, that he would love their child every bit as much as she did when it arrived. She had been so sure it was the right thing for them to do that she had set aside her doubts when the consultant had suggested they try fertility treatment.
Had she been wrong to do so? she wondered suddenly. Wrong to force him into a course of action that he had been reluctant to take? There was no doubt that the strain of keeping to the gruelling regime had put intense pressure on their relationship. Lovemaking had changed from being an expression of their feelings for each other to a duty, passion no longer dictated by their mutual desire but by the readings on a thermometer.
Was it any wonder that Callum had resented it? That they had argued? With the benefit of hindsight, Beth could see that there had been faults on both sides, but it didn’t alter the fact that it had been Callum who had called a halt, Callum who had decided that he didn’t want to be with her any more, Callum who had asked her for a divorce. If he had loved her, really loved her, then he would never have left her. He would have stayed.
CHAPTER TWO (#u202b70a3-a8b6-5b1c-8f8b-c2ec535c736d)
CALLUM COULD FEEL his insides quivering. First there was the shock of thinking that Beth was getting married again and now this. Her hostility was palpable even though he could tell that she was doing her best not to show how angry she felt. That in itself hurt because she had never hidden her feelings before. Whatever Beth had felt, she had been completely open about it.
When she had fallen in love with him, she hadn’t tried to hide it, the same as she hadn’t tried to hide her distress when their marriage had ended. To know that he was responsible for such a change in her was incredibly painful but he couldn’t allow himself to be sidetracked. He had come here for a specific purpose and he had to focus on that. Beth wasn’t going to believe a word he said unless he managed to convince her that he was telling the truth.
‘Look, Beth, I know how it must appear but the situation isn’t as straightforward as you think,’ he began.
‘Save it, Callum. I’ve already told you that I’m not interested.’ Her tone was cold, indifferent even, and something inside him died a little. Even anger was preferable to this total lack of interest. ‘You’ve had months to contact me and never bothered. So why should I listen to you now just because you’ve suddenly decided it’s time we talked?’
‘Because you don’t understand!’
He let go of her hands, feeling the pain of her rejection biting deep into his soul. Heaven knew, he had enough experience of being rejected to recognise it. His parents had never really wanted him. They had both been high-flyers, dedicated to their work, and his unscheduled arrival had been viewed as a disruption to their busy lives.
He had been brought up by a succession of nannies until he was old enough to be sent away to boarding school. Holidays had been a nightmare; both his mother and his father had made it clear that they resented having to waste time entertaining him. It had been a relief to them all when he had been old enough to go away on his own. Skiing trips, diving holidays—he’d done the lot and enjoyed them too. At least he hadn’t felt like a burden. People were being paid to look after him and that made it easier.
The ties had been completely severed by the time he went to university. Apart from the obligatory birthday and Christmas cards, he had no contact with them these days. He didn’t miss them; it was impossible to miss something he had never had.
However, they had taught him a valuable lesson, which was that no one should have a child unless they were prepared to put it first. That was why he’d had reservations when Beth had suggested they should have a baby. He had been afraid that he wouldn’t measure up as a parent, that the genes he had inherited would affect his ability to be a proper father to their child, but he had allowed himself to be persuaded because it was what Beth had wanted so desperately.
Would he have agreed if he’d had any idea how hard it would be? he wondered suddenly. How agonising it would be to watch her suffer such terrible disappointment, month after month, when she had failed to get pregnant? Of course he wouldn’t! He had loved her to distraction and it was unthinkable that he would have allowed her to go through that kind of torment.
That was why he had called a halt and asked her for a divorce. Maybe Beth believed that he had done it for his own sake but it wasn’t true. He simply couldn’t bear to see her torturing herself any longer. How ironic that after all they had been through, she should have fallen pregnant that last night they had slept together.
‘What is there to understand? I wrote to tell you I was pregnant and you didn’t reply. That says it all.’ She shrugged, her expression so cold when Callum forced his mind back to the present that he felt chilled to the bone. It was hard to believe that Beth could look at him that way.
‘But I never received your letter!’ he protested.
‘Then why are you here?’ she shot back and he felt relief surge through him when he heard the stirrings of anger in her voice. It was better to be upbraided than be treated with such indifference.
‘What I meant was that I never received it for months. I was in Africa, travelling around while I helped set up a new malaria programme, and somehow it never caught up with me.’ He looked deep into her eyes, willing her to believe him. ‘It only reached me last month and as soon as I read it, I made arrangements to fly back to England. I got here as fast as I could, Beth—I swear.’
Beth wanted to believe him, she wanted it with a desperation that defied all logic. She had sworn that she would never allow herself to be swayed by anything Callum said but, staring into his deep brown eyes, it was so very tempting... The sound of bells ringing broke the spell. Beth stepped back, her breath coming in fast little spurts as she realised how close she had come to breaking her own promise. Surely she had learned her lesson after what had happened between them? Learned never to believe a word Callum said? If he could tell her that he loved her and then leave her, it proved beyond any doubt how untrustworthy he was.
She swung round, ignoring him when he called her name. She didn’t want to listen to him any more, didn’t want to see him, to be tempted in any way at all. She had to think about Beatrix and the effect it would have on her in the future if she found out that her father was a liar.
She re-joined the wedding party, nodding when Polly asked her if she was all right. She wasn’t all right, by any means, but she wouldn’t say so, wouldn’t ruin her friend’s special day. Polly deserved this after everything she had been through. She deserved every second of happiness that came her way. She had found the man she loved and he loved her too—their future was rosy and golden and would be filled with joy. Just as hers should have been if Callum hadn’t stopped loving her.
The tears came then, hot and bitter as they streamed down her face, but she wasn’t the only one crying. Weddings were an emotional time and a lot of the guests were shedding a tear or two. Beth dried her eyes then took her place on the church steps while the photographs were taken, smiling and pretending to be full of joy on this happy day while inside she felt devastated and angry and so very alone.
She glanced towards the lich gate but there was no sign of Callum. Whether he would seek her out again, she had no idea. It didn’t really matter. Nothing he said could make up for what he had done, no excuses about letters taking months to reach him would change things. The fact was that he had left her, left her when she had needed him most of all. And that was the only thing that counted.
* * *
Callum had managed to book himself a room in the local pub. He carried his bag up the narrow staircase and opened the bedroom door. The room was small and rather cramped with double dormer roofs taking up most of the ceiling space but he didn’t care. It was somewhere to sleep tonight because one thing was certain: he wouldn’t be sleeping in Beth’s bed!
Frustration ate away at him as he tossed his bag onto the bed. Maybe he hadn’t expected red carpet treatment but he had hoped for a better reception than that. It was obvious that Beth wasn’t going to forgive him in a hurry and it made him see how foolish he’d been to hope that she would. He sighed wearily. Had he really thought that he could win her round with a few well-chosen words? That he could tell Beth what had happened and that she would just accept it? He must have been living in cloud cuckoo land if he had!
No way was this going to be easy. He would have to work at it, gain her trust, make her understand that he hadn’t ignored her or their baby, and then convince her that he wanted to be involved in their lives.
Fear trickled coldly down his spine at the thought. He knew nothing about what it took to be a father, did he? Most people learned the art from their own father but he certainly wasn’t going to use his as a role model. He would be batting in the dark, striking out this way and that in the hope that he would somehow discover how to be a good parent. What if he failed? What if he tried his best but still couldn’t measure up to the role? He couldn’t bear to imagine the harm it might cause his daughter if he flunked it. His heart caught. He couldn’t bear to imagine Beth’s contempt either if that happened.
* * *
Beth collected Beatrix from the childminder’s house and took her home. Polly had wanted her to take the baby to the church but Beth had decided not to risk it. At almost ten months old Beatrix was attempting to walk and soon became frustrated if she was made to sit still for any length of time. The thought of her daughter creating a fuss during the service had made Beth decide to leave her with Alison, the childminder. Now she was doubly glad that she had. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to allow Callum to see her. After all, if he had been that interested in his daughter then he would have been in touch before now, although, according to Callum, it hadn’t been his fault, had it?
The thought nagged away at her as she got Beatrix ready for bed. The little girl loved water and Beth let her splash away in the bath for longer than usual. She rarely spent any time apart from her and she had missed her that day, although she would have to get used to being without her. She was due to return to work in a couple of weeks’ time now that her maternity leave was coming to an end and Beatrix would be looked after by Alison. While Beth knew the other woman would take good care of her, it would be a wrench to leave her. Still, it was what she had to do if she was to provide for her daughter. Maybe Beatrix was destined to have only one parent but Beth didn’t intend that she would miss out, financially or emotionally.
Her mouth thinned as she lifted Beatrix out of the bath and wrapped her in a towel. One loving parent was more than enough and far better than having someone unreliable in her life like Callum!
* * *
The pub served food so Callum had something to eat then went back up to his room. He had spent almost thirty-six hours on the go and he was bone-tired. He desperately needed to sleep and lay down on the bed, fully clothed, but he couldn’t settle. He kept thinking about what had happened with Beth and knew that he wouldn’t be able to rest until he had resolved at least some of the issues with her.
In the end, he got up and left the pub, taking his time as he walked to the cottage. He had no idea what he was going to say to her when he got there but he needed to convince Beth that he had been telling the truth about her letter failing to reach him for so long. At least, it would be a start if he could do that, a small step towards convincing her about all the rest. Despite what she thought, he did care about their daughter. He cared a lot, far more than he would have expected, in fact. He had a child and even though he had never really wanted a family of his own, he intended to do his very best for her...
If only Beth would let him.
The thought felt like a lead weight inside him. Callum was very aware that Beth would have the deciding vote when it came to a decision about his input into their daughter’s life. Bearing in mind how she had reacted earlier, it seemed unlikely that she would let him have anything to do with her, and he was devastated at the thought that he might not be able to play any part in his child’s life.
He stopped outside the cottage, wondering how best to approach this. He might only get this one chance and he couldn’t afford to waste it. Maybe it had hurt to be treated so coldly by Beth before but his feelings didn’t matter. It was his daughter who mattered, the child he and Beth had conceived against all the odds that last night.
Callum found his thoughts winging back to that night and he shuddered. He had only gone to see Beth because the papers finalising their divorce had come through that morning. For some reason he still couldn’t explain, he had felt that he’d had to acknowledge the ending of their marriage in person. What he had never expected was that they would end up in bed together. He had honestly thought that their desire for one another had died, but that night it had felt just like it had in the beginning. The feel of her hands on his skin, the brush of her lips against his, had transformed their lovemaking into something magical. Special. Something he had never felt before and knew he wouldn’t feel again.
His heart ached with a sudden searing pain. He had loved her so much and knew that she had loved him too—how could they have lost sight of that?
Beth tiptoed to the nursery window. Beatrix had fallen asleep and she didn’t want to wake her. Reaching up, she went to draw the curtains then paused when she caught sight of Callum standing outside. Her heart leapt even though she’d half expected that he would seek her out again. All of a sudden, she wasn’t sure what to do. If she let him in then he would only repeat what he had said earlier and she couldn’t see any point in that. He had claimed that it had taken months for her letter to reach him but did she believe him? If he could lie about loving her then he could lie about that too!
Beth felt a wave of anger wash over her as she drew the curtains then made her way downstairs. Opening the front door, she stared, stony-faced, at the man standing outside on the step. He had his hand raised in readiness to knock and she glared at him. ‘Beatrix is asleep and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t wake her up.’
‘Oh. Right.’
He looked momentarily disconcerted, which was rare for him. Callum’s confidence was one of the things that had attracted her to him when they had first met. They had both been invited to a mutual friend’s birthday party in London, a noisy affair that had grown rowdier as the evening had worn on. Although most of the people there had been similar in age to her, Beth had found their behaviour childish. Their main aim seemed to be to drink as much as they could but getting drunk wasn’t something she planned to do.
She was due in work the following day and had no intention of turning up with a hangover, so when one of the men had tried to persuade her to take part in their drinking game, she had refused. The situation had turned ugly then. Beth had felt really frightened when he had grabbed hold of her and forced the glass to her lips, and that’s when Callum had stepped in.
He hadn’t said a word as he’d removed the glass from the other man’s hand and placed it on a table, but his expression had said it all. The man had immediately let her go and hurried away. Only then had Callum spoken and all he’d done was ask her if she was ready to leave. They had left the party and found an all-night café down by the docks. The time had flown past as they had talked about their lives over mugs of tea.
Callum had explained that he worked for an aid agency and that he had only recently returned from India. It was very different from the career path Beth had chosen and she was intrigued to hear more, not that the conversation was in any way one-sided when he’d seemed equally fascinated by what she had done. She had never met anyone who was as easy to talk to as Callum and she’d found herself telling him things she had told no one else. By the time they left the café, she was already half in love with him...
‘Look, Beth, I know you said before that you didn’t want to hear what I had to say but it’s important that we sort this out.’
The urgency in his voice brought her back to the present, although it was hard to rid her mind of the memories. They had been so good together, true soul mates, totally attuned to one another, until she had decided that she wanted them to have a baby. Would their relationship have lasted if she hadn’t made that decision? She had no idea. However, it was that thought that made her step back so Callum could come in. If she was even partly responsible for ruining what they’d had then she owed him this at least.
‘Come into the sitting room,’ she said shortly, leading the way.
Callum followed her in, smiling when he saw the basket of toys tucked under the coffee table. ‘I see our daughter’s into cars rather than dolls.’
‘She loves anything that has wheels.’ Beth sat down on the chair, leaving Callum to have the sofa. It would have been too hard to sit next to him and recall all the other times they had sat there, cuddled up together. It was something else she didn’t want to dwell on and she sprang to her feet. ‘I’ll put the kettle on. What d’you want—tea or coffee?’
‘Neither, thanks.’ He grimaced. ‘I drank so much tea and coffee on the journey back here that I’m awash with it.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Beth hesitated but she really didn’t want anything to drink either. It had been more a delaying tactic, but perhaps it would be better to get this over with. The sooner Callum had said his piece, the sooner he would leave and things would get back to normal. It was a relief when he carried on.
‘I got here as quickly as I could, Beth. Once I received your letter, I contacted the agency and told them that I needed to return to England immediately.’ He shrugged. ‘All right, I’ll admit that it took a couple of weeks to make the arrangements but there was nothing I could do about that. It was out of my hands.’
He sounded sincere enough and Beth found herself wavering. Was he telling her the truth or was it merely some elaborate tale he had dreamed up to explain his absence? The Callum she had known in the past had never lied to her. Or at least she had thought he hadn’t done so, she amended swiftly. She didn’t want to think that he was lying to her now but how could she trust him after what he had done? He had walked away even though he had claimed to love her. He had even told her that on their last night together, told her that he loved her and that he would always love her. She had taken it to mean that he had changed his mind, that the divorce had been a mistake, and that he wanted them to get back together.
Tears filled her eyes as she recalled how devastated she had felt when she had woken in the morning to find him gone. No, if Callum had truly loved her then he would have stayed.
* * *
Callum could tell things weren’t going well. Beth had tears in her eyes now and he didn’t imagine they were tears of joy either. He searched his mind for the right words, words that would convince her he deserved another chance, but in his heart he knew there was nothing he could say to make up for what he had done. He hadn’t been here when she had needed him. He hadn’t been here for her or their daughter and there was no point explaining how bad he felt about it when she wasn’t interested in anything he had to say. Beth didn’t want him in her life any more and the pain that thought caused him made him suck in his breath.
He stood up abruptly, his legs trembling so hard that he wasn’t sure if they would hold him, but he refused to let her think that he was playing for sympathy.
‘I didn’t come here to upset you, Beth. It’s the last thing I want to do. I’ve told you the truth but I can see that I was wrong to expect you to believe me.’ He spread his hands apart in frustration. ‘If there was anything I could do to convince you then I’d do it, but I doubt if you’d be interested even then. I’m no longer part of your life and I accept that, but I hope you will allow me to be part of our daughter’s life in some way.’ His voice caught then, the words all jammed up inside him as emotion took over, and he stared at the ceiling, not wanting her to guess how agonising it was to know that he might be excluded from his child’s future.
‘I’ll think about it, although I’m not making any promises.’
Beth sounded as choked up as he did and Callum lowered his eyes. His heart scrunched up inside him when he saw the tears that were now trickling down her beautiful face.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he began, but she held up her hand.
‘Don’t! I don’t want to hear anything else.’ She stood up, making it clear that she wanted him to leave.
Callum didn’t say another word as he let himself out. He made his way back to the pub, went up to his room, and lay down on the bed, feeling more wretched than he had felt in his entire life.
Even when he had asked Beth for a divorce, he hadn’t felt this depth of despair. It had been hard then, heart-wrenchingly hard, but he had been so sure it was the right thing to do. With him out of the way, she would be forced to stop trying to conceive and allow her mind as well as her body to rest. That thought had kept him focused, given him strength. He had loved her so much, but he’d had to leave for her sake. Now she didn’t want anything to do with him and even though he understood why she felt that way, the thought ripped a hole right through his heart.
CHAPTER THREE (#u202b70a3-a8b6-5b1c-8f8b-c2ec535c736d)
BETH SPENT THE next few days thinking about what Callum had asked her. The question constantly whizzed around her brain: should she allow him to have access to Beatrix? Her gut reaction was to refuse but she knew that she needed to take her time and think about it. It wasn’t fair to Beatrix to make a snap decision when it could have such a huge impact on her life.
When Daniel Saunders, the senior partner at the practice, phoned to ask her if she would consider returning to work earlier than planned, it was a relief because it gave her something else to think about. Apparently, Sandra Nelson, one of the other GPs, had been rushed into hospital with appendicitis. With Daniel’s wife, Eleanor, on maternity leave, it meant the practice was currently under a huge amount of pressure.
Beth agreed immediately, even though she hated the thought of leaving Beatrix. She went into the surgery on the Monday morning, realising in surprise that she felt a little bit nervous. Even though she had worked there for a number of years, it felt strange to be back, almost as though she was the new girl. However, she soon got over that feeling when Marie, the receptionist, greeted her in delight.
‘Beth!’ Marie shot round the desk and enveloped Beth in a hug. ‘It’s great to have you back. We’ve missed you!’
‘Thank you. I’ve missed you too,’ Beth replied, and realised that she meant it. Although she loved Beatrix to bits, she enjoyed her job and had missed the daily contact with her colleagues and patients. She glanced around the waiting room, smiling when she spotted a couple of early arrivals. ‘Not much has changed, I see. The early birds are still here.’
‘Too right!’ Marie agreed, laughing. ‘It’s business as usual, although Eleanor’s on maternity leave and Bernard has finally retired, though I expect you know that already.’
‘I do, but it’s nice to be reminded.’ Beth rolled her eyes. ‘I’m suffering from a bad case of baby brain and keep forgetting things.’
‘Don’t worry, it will get better, although it could take some time before you’re functioning properly,’ Marie replied wryly. ‘I remember how long it took me to feel halfway normal after I’d had my two.’
‘Don’t!’ Beth laughed. ‘You’re scaring me to death.’ She looked round and smiled when she saw Daniel coming along the corridor. ‘Marie was just explaining the pitfalls of motherhood to me.’
‘A bit late for that, I’d have thought,’ he answered, laughing. He kissed Beth on the cheek. ‘Thank you so much for doing this. When Sandra’s husband phoned and told me what had happened, I didn’t know what we were going to do. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when you said you’d come back to work earlier than planned.’
‘It isn’t a problem,’ Beth assured him as they headed to his room. ‘I dropped Beatrix off at the childminder’s house and I have to say that she didn’t appear to be the least bit worried about me leaving her. She was more interested in playing with the other children to miss her mum.’
‘Good. It’s never easy when you leave them for the first time, whether it’s with a childminder or on their first day at school. Why, I even got all choked up when we saw Nathan off to Australia,’ he admitted, referring to his nineteen-year-old son who was currently away on his gap year. ‘How daft is that?’
‘It isn’t daft at all,’ Beth assured him, smiling. ‘Although you’ll have to toughen up now that you have Mia. It won’t be long before she has a whole load of “firsts” to get through.’
‘Don’t!’ Daniel shuddered at the thought of going through it all again with his baby daughter. ‘Anyway, enough of that. I just wanted to check that you’re up to speed. You’ll be covering Hemsthwaite Surgery while Sandra’s off. I don’t think you’ve worked there before, have you?’
‘No. I’d gone on maternity leave when you introduced the new system so that the staff here could take turns working there.’
‘I thought so. It’s been very useful, I have to say. Although some patients use both surgeries, the majority tend to stick to one or the other. The new system gives everyone a chance to get to know all our patients and that can only be a good thing. Obviously, you’ll have access to everyone’s notes via the computer so if one of our patients does turn up there, it won’t be a problem,’ he added.
‘It sounds great. I’m looking forward to getting back to work,’ Beth explained, truthfully.
‘Good. I’m delighted to have you back too. We’ve been really pushed recently, although I’m hoping that things are going to improve. If you’re agreeable, of course.’
‘You want me to do some hours here as well?’ Beth queried, wondering why Daniel sounded so grave all of a sudden.
‘No, not at all. Covering for Sandra is more than enough at the moment.’ He paused and Beth felt her nerves tighten. She was actually holding her breath as she waited for him to continue.
‘We desperately need more cover here, though. It was hard enough when there was just Eleanor and me, but now that I’m on my own, it’s impossible to keep on top of all the work. I’ve been trawling the agencies to find a locum but there’s nobody suitable willing to work in this part of the world.’ He sighed. ‘Beautiful countryside can’t hold a candle to the bright city lights, it seems.’
‘It must be difficult,’ she murmured, wondering where this was leading. Daniel rarely prevaricated and that he was doing so now set all her internal alarm bells ringing.
‘It is. Which is why I was delighted when I had a phone call from someone I not only know can do the job, but who will also get on with the rest of the team.’ He looked her straight in the eyes. ‘Callum has asked if he can have a job here, Beth. While I know he’s ideal, I don’t want to cause any problems for you, so it’s your call. What shall I tell him?’
* * *
Callum switched off his phone, stunned by what he had just heard. Daniel had called to say that the job was his if he still wanted it. Daniel had been quite blunt when Callum had asked him if there was a vacancy. He had made no bones about the fact that he would need to ask Beth how she felt about Callum working at the surgery. It was the fact that she had agreed that surprised him most of all. Did it mean that she was willing to give him another chance?
He cut that thought dead. There could be a dozen different reasons why Beth had agreed to him working at The Larches, so he shouldn’t go jumping to conclusions. He had spent three wretched days, too wrapped up in his own misery to think clearly. Then, gradually, his mind had started to clear and he had realised what he needed to do. He wasn’t going to give up. He was going to find a way to convince Beth that he cared about their daughter. Maybe he would never be able to convince her that he cared about her too, but he had to accept that.
Staying in Beesdale was the first step and he couldn’t believe his luck when he heard someone mention in the pub one night that the surgery was desperately in need of another doctor. He had phoned Daniel immediately and explained that he was back in Beesdale and looking for a job. Although he hadn’t gone into detail, he had also explained about the delay in receiving Beth’s letter. It had obviously reassured Daniel to some extent, but he had still added the proviso that he would need to consult Beth before he could take Callum on. And it appeared she hadn’t raised any objections. Even though Callum had told himself not to leap to any conclusions, he couldn’t help it.
If Beth had hated the idea of him staying in Beesdale then she would never have given the go-ahead for him to work there.
* * *
Beth found herself starting to relax once she had seen her first patient. Whether it was the shock of hearing that Callum intended to stay in Beesdale or first-day-back nerves, she had felt incredibly tense when she had arrived at the Hemsthwaite surgery. However, focusing on her patients’ problems had soon taken her mind off everything else, even if it was only a temporary reprieve. She buzzed in her next patient, smiling when Diane Applethwaite came into the room. Diane and her husband, Phil, ran a highly successful sheep farm. Their lamb was renowned throughout the Dales for its quality and flavour. With seven children, plus a brand new grandson on the way, Diane was a very busy woman. She was always full of life so Beth was surprised to see how down she looked that day.
‘Hello, Diane. Come and sit down.’ Beth waited until the other woman was comfortably settled. ‘So what can I do for you?’
‘I’m not sure what to tell you, Dr Andrews. I just feel so tired all the time, as though I’ve got no energy left.’ Diane sighed. ‘It’s not like me at all. Phil must be sick of me moping about all over the place. That’s why I came to see you.’
‘I see. Do you have any other symptoms apart from feeling tired?’ Beth asked, mentally running through a list of possible causes. Anaemia was a possibility as a lot of women suffered from that, especially if their monthly periods were heavy. She glanced at Diane’s notes and checked her age: forty-eight. It could be the menopause, of course; that could cause a wide range of symptoms from tiredness through to mood swings. Hormone replacement therapy could help if that were the case, although it was too soon to make a diagnosis.
‘Not really.’ Diane hesitated. ‘Although I’ve felt sick a few times too.’
‘Anything else?’ Beth prompted when Diane paused again.
‘Well, I’ve not had a period for a while.’ She grimaced. ‘I used to be regular as clockwork but in the past year, I’ve been all over the place. Do you think it’s the change, Dr Andrews?’
‘It’s possible, Diane. You’re forty-eight and it could very well be the start of the menopause. We’ll do some tests, check your hormone levels, and see what they show.’
Diane nodded. ‘I thought it might be that. To be honest, I’ve been dreading it. My mum was terrible when she went through the change, had these awful hot flushes and she was so bad tempered too. I’d hate to think that I’ll be like that.’
‘There’s no reason why you should take after your mother,’ Beth said consolingly. ‘Every woman is different, plus there’s HRT these days, which can help enormously to alleviate the worst symptoms.’
‘Is it safe, though? I’ve read so many conflicting reports about HRT that I’m not sure if I want to take it or not.’
‘That’s your decision and I certainly wouldn’t try to force you to take it,’ Beth assured her. ‘However, in my opinion, it’s extremely safe and very helpful too.’ She stood up, not wanting to appear to be pushing Diane into making a decision right then. ‘Let’s take some blood and see what that shows before we go any further.’
Beth took the sample, deciding it was easier to do it herself rather than ask Diane to wait to see Jane Barton, their practice nurse. Once the tubes were clearly labelled, she popped them into an envelope ready for the courier to collect at lunchtime. ‘We should have the results back in a week or so. In the meantime, I’m going to prescribe a course of iron tablets to help with the tiredness. I think you may be a little anaemic—the blood results will show if you are—and the iron will help.’
‘Let’s hope so. It’s a busy time of the year for us and I could do with a bit more energy. I’ll definitely need it when our Sam and Lauren have the baby,’ Diane declared, sounding much brighter than when she had arrived.
‘It won’t be long now,’ Beth agreed, thinking how much it could help to talk through a problem. She sighed inwardly, wondering if she should have talked to Daniel about the problem she had with Callum before she had agreed that he could work at The Larches. Maybe it would have helped a bit, she acknowledged, but at the end of the day it was something she had to resolve by herself. She fixed a smile to her mouth, not wanting to think about her own worries. ‘Are you looking forward to being a grandmother?’
‘That I am. It seems an age since there was a little one running around the place,’ Diane said with a laugh. ‘Steven, my youngest, is seventeen now and at least a foot taller than me. He’s certainly not a baby any more!’
Beth laughed as she saw Diane out. She worked her way through the rest of the list then went to Reception to wait for the courier. There were several more tests that Jane had collected so she handed them over as well. They closed for lunch but there was an open surgery in the afternoon, plus a visit by the local optician. Hemsthwaite Surgery might be smaller than The Larches and open for fewer hours, but it was still very busy and she would enjoy working there, she decided as she went to lock the door after the courier left.
Her hand was hovering over the catch when she saw a car turn into the car park and she frowned, hoping it wasn’t an early arrival. It was only when the driver got out that she realised it was Callum and her heart seemed to skip a beat. What on earth was Callum doing here?
Callum wasn’t sure if he should be doing this. He had intended to give Beth some space but the urge to see her had been too strong to resist. He locked the car then started to walk towards the surgery, his stomach lurching when he saw Beth standing by the door. It was hard to read her expression from this distance but he had the feeling that she wasn’t exactly thrilled to see him. It was only the thought of how it would appear if he turned around and went back to the car that kept him walking towards her.
‘What are you doing here, Callum?’
There was no welcome in her voice and he sighed under his breath. Obviously, the situation hadn’t improved as much as he had hoped it had. Beth was still loath to have anything to do with him and although he could understand it in a way, it was starting to grate on him. His tone was harsher than it might have been, less conciliatory. Beth wasn’t the only one who had suffered: he had too.
‘I came to thank you for not raising any objections about me being offered the locum post,’ he said flatly. ‘However, I can see that I’m wasting my time. Jack the Ripper would probably receive a warmer welcome than me!’ He swung round, deciding that it would be better if he got back in his car and left. He wasn’t helping his case, was he? He was simply putting Beth’s back up and that was the last thing he could afford to do.
‘Wait!’
Callum slowed, although he didn’t stop altogether. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw that Beth had stepped outside and was standing on the path. There was such a look of indecision on her face that he felt his heart suddenly go out to her. That she was torn between sending him packing and talking to him was obvious and he hated to know that he had put her in this position. He didn’t want to make life difficult for her but unless they found a way to resolve this situation, it was going to continue to be stressful for both of them. The thought made him turn round and retrace his steps.
‘Look, Beth, I didn’t come here to start an argument,’ he said quietly. ‘I simply came to thank you. Daniel told me that I could have the job as long as you didn’t raise any objections and I’m just grateful that you agreed.’
‘Why? That’s what I don’t understand, Callum. Why do you want to work here? Why do you want to stay in Beesdale for that matter?’
There was a tremor in her voice that made Callum feel worse than ever. That she was upset was obvious and there was absolutely nothing he could say that would help...apart from telling her the truth, perhaps?
The thought of baring his soul made his stomach clench. Was he prepared to do that, to admit how he felt about becoming a father in the hope that it would convince her to let him see their daughter? What if he said too much? What if the words somehow slipped out and he found himself admitting how he felt about her? The thought gave him hot and cold chills because he wasn’t sure if he could cope if Beth rejected him.
‘Callum...?’
‘Have you had lunch yet?’ Callum cut her off, knowing that he needed time to work out what he was going to say if he was to avoid a disaster.
‘Lunch,’ Beth repeated, blankly.
‘Mmm. I’ve got to drive over to Leeds this afternoon to pick up the rest of my stuff from the airport. There wasn’t room for it in the plane I flew back on so it had to be sent as freight. I was planning to have lunch on the way so do you fancy joining me?’ he said, as though inviting her to have lunch with him was the most natural thing in the world to do. Maybe it should be, he thought suddenly. After all, if they could forge some kind of normal relationship then surely it would help?
‘I’m not sure it’s a good idea,’ she said flatly.
‘Why not? Look, I know you’re angry with me, and I understand why, but I want this to work, Beth. I want to be here for Beatrix, not just now but in the future as well. Maybe I had doubts about becoming a father in the past, but now that it’s happened, I know it’s what I want.’ Callum felt a wave of emotion rise up and almost choke him but he forced himself to carry on. ‘The last thing I want is Beatrix growing up, thinking that I don’t care about her. I know how destructive that can be, believe me!’
CHAPTER FOUR (#u202b70a3-a8b6-5b1c-8f8b-c2ec535c736d)
BETH SAT ON the old settle and watched as Callum made his way to the bar to order their lunch. It was a beautiful day and the pub was busy with tourists enjoying a day out but she had no problem picking Callum out from the crowd. With his thick dark hair, his tanned skin and that air of authority he exuded, he stood out and she noticed several women glance his way. Callum had always possessed the ability to turn heads, just as he had turned hers when they had first met.
‘Right. That’s all sorted.’ He came back and dropped down beside her.
‘What do I owe you?’ Beth edged away when she felt his thigh brush against hers. She would have dearly loved to move but every seat was taken and they’d been lucky to find these. She bent down to pick up her bag, steeling herself when her knee accidentally knocked against his. She could feel ripples of sensation running under her skin and bit her lip. She didn’t want to feel anything for him, didn’t want to be aware of him in any way at all, but it was impossible when even the slightest contact made her skin tingle and her blood heat.
‘It’s my shout. I invited you, don’t forget.’
Callum dismissed her offer to pay her share with a shake of his head. Beth was sorely tempted to argue with him but she decided that it wasn’t worth it. She needed to keep things on an even keel and not allow emotions to get in the way. She placed her bag back on the floor, taking care not to touch him this time.
‘Have you left Beatrix with the childminder?’
She jumped when he shot the question at her. ‘Well, I certainly haven’t left her at home on her own,’ she replied tartly.
‘I didn’t think you had,’ Callum said quietly. ‘I was only asking, Beth. I wasn’t having a go at you.’
‘No. Of course not. Sorry.’ Beth flushed, knowing that she had been far too sharp with her answer. She took a quick breath to calm herself but her nerves were jangling. It wasn’t easy being with Callum like this but she had to try to maintain some kind of a balance. ‘I left her with Alison Lewis. One of the mums I met at my antenatal classes recommended her and she’s very nice—she has a real affinity with the children she minds.’
‘I remember her from when I last worked here,’ Callum said thoughtfully. ‘Doesn’t she have twins, a boy and a girl?’
‘That’s right—Molly and Max. They’re three now and Beatrix adores them. She was so excited when I dropped her off this morning because she knew they’d be there to play with.’
‘Good. It must make it easier if you know that she’s happy,’ he observed.
‘It does,’ Beth agreed, somewhat surprised by his astuteness. ‘I have to admit that it was a wrench to leave her but she didn’t seem the least bit worried. She was more interested in playing with the other children than in the fact that Mummy was leaving her!’
‘It sounds as though she’s got loads of confidence,’ Callum said with a smile.
‘Oh, she has. She’s just like you in that respect.’ The words rushed out before she could stop them and she saw an expression of pain cross Callum’s face.
‘I wish I could see her, Beth. Oh, I know you need time to decide what you intend to do but it would mean such a lot if I could see her.’ He stared down at his hands. ‘After I received your letter telling me you were pregnant, I spent hours wondering if you’d had a little boy or a little girl. Then ever since I found out she was a girl, I’ve spent even more time imagining what she looks like.’
He suddenly looked up and Beth felt a lump come to her throat when she saw the yearning in his eyes. ‘I mean, is she blonde like you or dark like me? Does she have brown eyes or hazel? At the moment she’s just this shadowy little figure who I can’t picture clearly and I can’t tell you how much it would mean to me to just see her, touch her, smell her even. Then I’ll really feel that she’s my daughter.’
Callum hadn’t meant to let his emotions get the better of him. On the contrary, he’d been determined to project a calm front. However, thinking about the daughter he had never seen had let loose a host of feelings, most of which he had never expected to experience. He had never yearned for a child of his own, never longed to procreate even when he and Beth had been trying so hard to have a baby. But now that his daughter was a fact, he found it impossible to take a step back from her.
‘Here. I have some photos of her on my phone.’
He jumped when Beth pressed her phone into his hand. He stared at the screen, feeling his emotions multiply a hundredfold as he looked at the fair-haired moppet smiling up at him. She had Beth’s colouring and his eyes. She also had his nose if he wasn’t mistaken.
Words failed him as he flicked through the photos, one after the other. They were a record of his daughter’s life to date, the first one taken straight after her birth and the last one only a couple of days ago. All those months that had passed without him being there, he thought wretchedly. All that time during which she had grown up and he had known nothing about her existence.
How he longed to turn back the clock, to have been there for her from the very first moment, but it was impossible. He could never recapture that precious time he’d lost; all he could do was to make sure that he was there for the rest of her life. The thought stiffened his resolve, made him see just how important this was to him. He wasn’t going to give up. Even if Beth refused his pleas then he would find a way to maintain contact with his daughter.
‘She’s beautiful,’ he said, reluctantly relinquishing the phone. ‘She has your colouring and my eyes.’
‘Yes.’ Beth bit her lip and he could sense her hesitation before she hurried on. ‘I think she has your nose as well, although babies change so quickly that it’s hard to be certain. One minute they look like one parent and the next they look like the other.’
‘It must be fascinating, seeing all the changes,’ he said, struggling to control the emotions that kept welling up inside him. He cleared his throat when he saw Beth glance at him, not sure if he felt comfortable about laying himself bare this way. It would have been different if they’d still been together; he wouldn’t have felt nearly as self-conscious then. But they were no longer together, no longer involved apart from through their child, and he needed to protect himself.
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