Once a Rebel
Once a Rebel
Sheri WhiteFeather
It's not easy living down a wild-child reputation. But Susan Fortune has never done anything the easy way. Who would have guessed she'd turn out to be a well-respected San Francisco psychologist with a knack for helping wayward teens? Not Ethan Eldridge, her secret crush who lived in Red Rock, Texas, seventeen years ago.Now back on the ranch to pay respects to ailing Ryan Fortune, Susan lets Ethan in on her little secret. However, the sexy and serious veterinarian has a surprise for her, too. Their longing was mutual. And how can he say no to a second chance with Susan? But Ethan's heart is scarred. And if she wants to keep him, Susan's got to prove that even rebels have to put down roots sometime.
Praise for Sheri WhiteFeather:
“WhiteFeather delivers hot sex, spicy sexual tension and pure old-fashioned love.”
—Romantic Times
“Not only does Ms. WhiteFeather…turn a phrase with considerable ease, she also delivers top-notch characterization and complex emotional development to create a pleasurable reading experience.”
—Romantic Times
“This book pushed the envelope right to the edge of the table and let it hang in precarious balance. The premise is edgy and sexy and the story is executed to perfection. The characters grabbed me by the heartstrings with their very emotional conflicts. The intensity of their attraction for each other nearly set the book on fire….”
—Writers Unlimited
“…this steamy, hot romance is fantastically written…the love scenes are passionate enough to ignite the pages. Ms. WhiteFeather knows her audience well and writes in a way to capture their attention while allowing them to ‘fall’ into the careful plotting and secrets of each character.”
—Writers Unlimited
Don’t miss Signature Select’s exciting series:
The Fortunes of Texas: Reunion
get swept up in twelve new stories from your favorite family!
COWBOY AT MIDNIGHT by Ann Major
A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING by Marie Ferrarella
IN THE ARMS OF THE LAW by Peggy Moreland
LONE STAR RANCHER by Laurie Paige
THE GOOD DOCTOR by Karen Rose Smith
THE DEBUTANTE by Elizabeth Bevarly
KEEPING HER SAFE by Myrna Mackenzie
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION by Kristi Gold
ONCE A REBEL by Sheri WhiteFeather
MILITARY MAN by Marie Ferrarella
FORTUNE’S LEGACY by Maureen Child
THE RECKONING by Christie Ridgway
Once a Rebel
Sheri WhiteFeather
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Dear Reader,
In 1999, the year my first book was published, the original Fortunes of Texas was in full swing. I wasn’t part of the original series, but like most of you, I was enthralled with the Fortune family. And now here I am, all these years later, participating in the reunion.
If you’re curious about my hero and heroine, here’s the scoop. Ethan Eldridge, a large-animal vet, heals wounded creatures, and Susan Fortune, a psychologist, dedicates her life to troubled teens. Together, they create magic. At least for me. While writing their story, I consulted my own family: two open-minded teenagers and a veterinary technician husband who gave me his textbooks for research.
The other authors on this series were wonderful. The ladies who live in Texas shared information about the Lone Star State, and on top of that, Karen Rose Smith was gracious enough to send me a signed copy of her original Fortune book, with pages marked for reference. I was especially captivated by Ryan and Lily Fortune, returning characters that play a significant role in my story.
I hope you find THE FORTUNES OF TEXAS: REUNION an engaging experience, stories to treasure for years to come.
Love,
Sheri WhiteFeather
To Patience Smith (our amazing editor) and the other authors on this series—seeing you in Dallas was a blast. To those of you who weren’t able to be there, we missed you.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Epilogue
Bonus Features
One
Susan Fortune approached the barn, the weathered wood calling to her like an old friend, stirring scattered memories, making them swirl in her mind.
In the past seventeen years she hadn’t been home much. She’d returned now and then, but always in a rush, a day or two at Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter. But being back in Red Rock, Texas, back on the Double Crown Ranch, felt different this time.
Because this wasn’t a harried holiday weekend, a fast-paced trip she’d crammed into her busy schedule. This was the real thing. A homecoming that turned her heart inside out.
Her cousin Ryan, the Fortune family patriarch, was dying.
Susan moved closer to the barn, the slightly chilled, early February air stinging her skin. She’d spent the most important time of her life, her senior year in high school, on the Double Crown. Ryan had taken her in after her alcohol-enraged father had kicked her out. He’d offered her a place to stay, a place to feel loved, a home away from home, from the turbulence that had nearly destroyed her.
And now here she was, wishing she could save Ryan, but knowing she couldn’t.
Reflective, she looked around, watching the ranch hands do their jobs. And then a tall, tanned man in rugged denims, with a straw cowboy hat dipped low on his forehead, exited the barn. He strode toward a white dually, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe, every ounce of oxygen in her lungs refusing to cooperate.
Was that Ethan Eldridge?
Yes, she told herself. It had to be. He’d grown bigger, broader, more masculine, but she recognized him just the same. Even the way he wore his clothes bred familiarity. A hand-tooled belt that he’d probably made himself was threaded through his jeans, and the hem of each pant leg frayed around a pair of weather-beaten boots. When he adjusted his hat in a memorable manner, her girlhood dreams went up in a cloud of pheromone-scented smoke.
She hadn’t seen him since they were teenagers, since she’d pined for him like the emotionally torn, desperate-for-affection female she’d been.
Should she call his name? Get his attention before he climbed into his truck and drove away?
Or would that make her look foolish? Susan Fortune, the reformed bad girl, flaunting herself in front of Ethan Eldridge all over again.
Unsure of what to do, she simply stood where she was, the wind whipping her hair across her cheek. But before she could come to a decision, Ethan reacted to her presence. Like a solitary animal, a cougar sensing an intruder, he slowed his pace and turned around.
Leaving Susan exposed to his gaze.
Chiding herself, she smoothed her hair, batting it away from her face. She wasn’t reverting to promiscuity. If anything, she was able to diagnose her teenage self, the rebellious girl who’d paraded other boys in front of Ethan. Susan understood the wild child that had festered inside her. She’d graduated from Stanford and earned a Ph.D. in psychology.
She decided to greet him with a friendly yet noncommittal hello, so she started off in his direction, cutting across the dirt path that separated them. But as she analyzed his catlike posture, she realized that he hadn’t identified her.
He had no idea who she was.
Beneath the brim of his hat, his eyebrows furrowed. A frown of curiosity, she thought. A country boy wondering why a citified blonde, dressed in designer jeans and a form-fitting blazer, was determined to talk to him.
Finally when they were face-to-face, with sights, sounds and smells of the ranch spinning around them, recognition dawned in his eyes.
Those stunning blue eyes.
“Susan?” He beat her to the punch, saying her name first.
“Ethan.” She extended her hand, preparing to touch him. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.” He accepted her hand, enveloping it with callused fingers.
They gazed at each other, silence sizzling between them. She could feel the soundless energy zapping the air, conjuring invisible fireflies.
So much for her Ph.D.
Suddenly she was a smitten seventeen-year-old, reliving the day they’d met. He had been a ranch hand’s hardworking, properly reared son, and she had been as untamed as the Texas terrain, a lost girl aching for attention. So much so, she’d parked her butt on a fence rail, as close to him as possible. Then she’d unbuttoned the top of her blouse, complaining about the heat, trying to get him to look at her.
He did, but only for a second. Just long enough to stop working and offer her a bottle of water. His water. A plastic container he’d yet to open, to drink from.
An elusive boy. A gallant gesture.
In her young, needy soul, Susan had fallen like a ton of shattered bricks, wanting Ethan even more. But she’d never gotten him. Nothing. Not even a kiss.
“I’m sorry about what’s happening to Ryan,” he said, bringing her back to the present. “You know how much I care about him.”
She nodded. Ethan had practically grown up on the Double Crown. He knew Ryan well. “He’s such a good man. Everyone loves him.”
“I’m sure he’s glad to have you home.”
Home. The word never failed to strike her heart. She’d lived with her parents in Katy, Texas, a suburb of Houston, until Ryan took her in. Sixteen years in Katy and one year in Red Rock. Yet Red Rock would always seem like home, even though she’d moved away from Texas altogether.
Ethan shifted his stance, drawing her attention to his tall, muscular form. He’d been lean and wiry as a teenager, a boy who’d spent all of his free time with the animals on the ranch.
“Ryan told me you became a large-animal vet,” she said.
“And he told me you became a child psychologist.” A smile ghosted across his lips. “I guess we both grew up, didn’t we?”
“Yes, we did.” As a girl, she used to dream about that uneven smile. Slow and sexy, she thought. One corner of his mouth tilting in a lazy sort of way.
Caught up in the moment, she stole a glance at his left hand. The last she’d heard, he was single, but that was a few years ago. She hadn’t made a habit of grilling Ryan about him.
When she noticed the absence of a ring, she sighed. Ethan was thirty-five, the same age as she was, and she’d never married, either. But her work was her priority, the heartbeat of her existence.
Did Ethan feel that way, too? Or was she jumping to conclusions? Just because he didn’t wear a ring didn’t mean he wasn’t involved in a committed relationship. Or that he wasn’t looking for a partner, someone to share the ups and downs in his life.
“Did you just get here today?” he asked.
“Yes.” She told herself to quit psychoanalyzing him, to leave her textbook curiosity at the curb. “I arrived this morning.” She flipped her wrist and checked her watch. “A few hours ago. Ryan is taking a nap, so I decided to go for a walk.”
“How’s Lily holding up?”
“She’s doing the best she can. When I left the house, she was fussing in the kitchen, giving herself something to do.” Lily was Ryan’s third wife, a woman he’d loved since his youth but hadn’t married until many years later.
The wind rustled Ethan’s shirt. “How long are you going to stay?”
“I’m not sure. But I’m hoping to help everyone get through this.” She noticed the expressive lines around his mouth, the aging process that had altered his features, cutting masculine grooves into his skin.
He reminded her of a model in a cowboy ad. The stereotyped Texan, with his hard-angled cheekbones, slightly crooked nose and lightly peppered jaw. But she knew he was real.
Tangible. Touchable. Flesh and blood.
Even after all these years she still wondered what it would feel like to kiss him.
When she lifted her gaze to his, he dipped his hat even lower, shielding his eyes.
Just like old times, she thought. She’d never been able to break through Ethan’s defenses. Even though he’d been attracted to her, he’d kept his distance, making her long for him even more.
Not that she would let herself long for him now. Kissing him, or even fantasizing about it, would be a mistake.
“You must be working today,” she said, trying to resume a casual conversation.
“Yes, I am. But I live here, too.”
She started. “On the Double Crown?”
“It’s only temporary. I’m in between homes right now, so I’m renting the hunting cabin from Ryan.” He gestured to the barn. “Of course I’m boarding my horses here, too.”
From what she recalled, Ethan had been living on the rough-and-tumble property his father owned. Although she wondered why he was moving, she decided not to ask, not to delve too deeply into his affairs, even if she wanted to, even if everything about him still intrigued her. “I’ve never been inside the hunting cabin.”
“Really?” He shifted his feet, scattering dirt beneath his heels. “There isn’t much to see, but you can come by later if you want to.”
Surprised by the invitation, Susan didn’t know what to say. He’d never asked her to visit him before. He’d never encouraged her advances. Of course, this time she wasn’t falling all over him. At least not outwardly. Inside, her heart was skipping girlish beats.
“Thanks,” she finally managed.
“Sure.”
While silence stretched between them, the wind kicked up, the scent of hay and horses triggering her senses. In the distance cattle grazed, like colored dots on the horizon.
“I better go,” he said. “I have an appointment on another ranch.”
She told herself to relax, to not make a big deal out of his offer. “It was nice talking to you, Ethan.”
“You, too,” he told her.
He climbed behind the wheel of his white dually, and she watched him start the engine. Within no time, he was gone.
The boy with the slow, sexy smile.
She returned to the house and headed for the kitchen, where she found Lily, bustling around the stove.
Susan stood in the doorway, admiring the woman Ryan had married. Even at fifty-nine, Lily had the power to turn heads. Long limbed and voluptuous, she wore a mint-colored sweater and a loose skirt, attire that was as unpretentious as her style. Her midnight hair was fastened into a simple twist, leaving the angles of her face unframed.
“That smells good,” Susan said, indicating the pot of broth simmering on the stove.
Lily looked up, her large, exotic-shaped eyes radiating warmth. “It’s corn soup. An old Apache recipe.”
Which made sense, considering Lily was part Apache and part Spanish.
Susan moved farther into the kitchen and watched as Lily mixed several pounds of boiled, shredded beef with a homemade batch of acorn meal. She suspected that Lily had taken her time, peeling the acorns and grinding them, a task that was meant to keep her mind off Ryan’s illness, especially on this gloomy morning.
A second later Lily took a shaky breath, then glanced out the window as though someone were stalking her. And why not? Susan knew that a man named Jason Jamison, a cold-blooded killer, had been threatening the family. Of course Ryan had hired a security team to protect them. He wouldn’t leave something like that to chance.
“Are you okay?” she asked Lily.
“I’m fine. Just jittery, that’s all. There’s so much to deal with right now.” She turned away from the window. “Will you check on Ryan? And if he’s awake, will you tell him that I’ll bring him some soup later?”
“Sure. But if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
“I know.” Lily gave her a brave smile. “I’m glad you’re staying with us. I like having you around.”
Her heart bumped her chest, filling her with a sense of longing, of family, of home and hearth. Lily hadn’t been Ryan’s wife when Susan had lived on the Double Crown, but she’d gotten to know her later. Mostly from trips Ryan and Lily had taken to San Francisco, where they’d traveled to visit her.
“Thank you,” Susan told her. “That means a lot to me.”
Lily nodded, and they simply gazed at each other, caught in a soundless moment.
After the older woman resumed her task, adding the beef and acorn meal to the broth, Susan left the kitchen, her emotions tugging at her sleeve.
She walked through the great room, her boots echoing on tiled floors, as restless as the Fortune empire ghosts.
Over the years, the house, a traditional adobe structure, had undergone quite a few renovations. At one point it had been divided into two separate wings, where Ryan and his older brother, Cameron, lived with their families. But Susan knew that Cameron had died over ten years ago, leaving Ryan to pick up the pieces of his brother’s lazy yet tremulous life.
She headed to Ryan and Lily’s room, a master suite with a private bathroom, hot tub and sauna. The door leading to the sitting area was open, a sign that her cousin was awake. She knocked anyway, a light tap to announce her presence.
“Come in,” he called out.
She entered the room and saw him sitting on a small sofa near the fireplace. To Susan, Ryan had always seemed larger than life, an invincible force with his solid frame and darkly handsome features. But an inoperable brain tumor had challenged his strength, creating symptoms he could no longer hide.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Better now that you’re here.”
He patted the cushion next to him, and she moved forward. He didn’t look particularly refreshed from his nap, but she was grateful that he was coherent. Earlier, he’d been too dizzy to converse with her.
She sat down and took his hand, holding it gently in hers. “I love you.”
A smile wobbled his mouth. “I love you, too, little girl.”
“I’m not little anymore.”
He gave her hand a light squeeze. “You’re still my baby.”
She wanted to ask him about Jason Jamison, to discuss the details, but she didn’t want to alert him that his beloved wife was fretting in the kitchen, looking over her shoulder every chance she got. Sooner or later Susan would learn everything there was to know about Jason. Both of her brothers had warned her about this man, suggesting that she talk to Ryan about him. Which she intended to do, just not now.
“Lily’s making soup,” she said, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt.
“What kind?”
“Apache corn. She’s going to bring you some when it’s done.”
“That sounds good.” He released her hand. “What did you do today?”
“I went for a walk. Down by the barn.” She studied the fireplace, the rugged structure, the natural beauty of each carefully placed stone. “I ran into Ethan.”
“Really?” Ryan perked up. “How’d it go?”
“Fine. We only talked for a few minutes.” She glanced at her cousin and saw him scrutinizing her beneath his dark brows. Anxious, she fidgeted, then caught herself, folding her hands on her lap. “I used to have a crush on him.”
“I know you did, pumpkin. I think everyone knew.”
Embarrassed, she laughed a little, picturing herself as she was, a teenager in tight clothes and too much mascara. “I wasn’t very subtle about it.”
“It’s hard to hide those kinds of feelings.” He was still watching her, looking at her with a knowing expression. “Old crushes run deep.” He paused, then said, “Lily was the love of my life when I was young. And look what happened to us.”
She shook her head. “It’s not like that between Ethan and me. I hardly know him.”
“The heart doesn’t forget.”
She leaned forward, tempted to touch Ryan’s cheek. She knew he’d loved his first wife. She’d been his childhood friend, the woman who bore his children. But Lily was the fire in his soul. “You’re just an old romantic.”
“And you’re a young woman who needs a good man.”
“I have my career.”
“And a big, empty condo in California. That’s not enough, Susan.”
“I’m not ready to fall in love.” And especially not with Ethan, she decided. She didn’t need the complication. Not now. Not while she was in Texas. “I spent enough time mooning over him.”
“Like I used to do over Lily?”
She leaned back against the sofa, doing her damnedest not to lose the fight. Apparently Ryan was determined to drive his point home, to compare his life to hers. “I never pegged you for a matchmaker.”
“Are you kidding? Me? The old romantic?” He chuckled under his breath. “It’s right up my alley.”
She forced a smile, humoring him. And humoring herself, as well.
Because deep down, she wanted to see Ethan again, to summon the courage to stop by the hunting cabin. But she knew she wouldn’t.
Susan wasn’t about to chase him.
Not ever again.
Two
Ethan parked his truck and entered the outer courtyard of the main house, where native plants and ornamental grasses flourished. He took the stone walkway, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Dusk had long since fallen and Susan hadn’t showed up at his place. For some self-absorbed reason, he’d expected her to visit him, to take advantage of his invitation. Seventeen years ago, she would’ve jumped at the chance.
But apparently times had changed.
He blew out a rough breath and inhaled the night-blooming flowers that flanked his path. Was it too late to call on her?
He adjusted his hat, lowering it on his head. Susan never failed to make his blood warm, even when they were kids. He had no business wanting her. Not then and not now.
But he couldn’t help it.
When they were teenagers, he’d heard all sorts of stories about her. He had no idea if the rumors were true. According to gossip, she’d slept with a slew of boys in Red Rock. She’d supposedly devirginized a few of them, too.
Not that his fantasies hadn’t run in that direction. She’d been the object of every wet dream he could remember. But he’d had other dreams about her, too. He’d wanted to protect her, to heal her the way he’d learned to minister to the animals on the ranch. But Susan hadn’t been a wounded filly or an ailing calf. She’d been wild and independent, as raw as the confusion she’d caused.
The confusion she was still causing.
Ethan wanted to give in to temptation. He wanted to unlock the mystery of the girl he’d refrained from touching, the girl who’d bloomed into a sophisticated woman.
With anxiety churning in his gut, he mounted the front steps. Why hadn’t she stopped by the hunting cabin to see him? Had she deliberately left him panting after her? Or was he reading too much into it?
Either way, he was trapped, locked in good and tight.
The way she used to flirt with him. The nights he’d spent thinking about her. Every last memory was magnified in his mind, right down to the day she’d gone off to college.
The day she’d disappeared from his life.
Ethan cleared his thoughts, then knocked on the door, expecting Lily to answer his summons. But when Susan appeared, wearing a flowing robe draped over a pair of silky pajamas, he wished he’d had the sense to forget about her.
She presented a soft, sultry image, with the top button on her pajamas straining above her breasts. The robe gaped in that spot, drawing his gaze to the slight swell of cleavage.
“Ethan?”
He pulled his gaze to her face. Her honey-blond hair fell in a loose, nighttime style, lightly combed and framing her chin. He wondered if it smelled like lemons. Her hair had been longer when they were younger, and the citrus scent used to drive him half-mad. Not that she would know the difference. He’d never mentioned it.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” She tightened the belt on her robe, but her modest effort didn’t change a thing.
He could still see the straining button.
He cleared his throat. “I hope it’s not too late for a visit.”
“No. Of course not.” She recovered her composure. “Ryan and Lily already went to bed, but I was just getting ready to fix a cup of tea. Would you like some?”
He rarely drank tea, but he wasn’t about to turn her down, not after showing up at her door. “Sure. That’d be nice.”
Ethan followed her into the kitchen, where she filled a stainless steel kettle, the kind that whistled, and set it on the stove. He remembered that his mom used to boil water in one of those. As a child, he used to wonder what made it cry out.
When Susan turned to look at him, he caught himself frowning.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He wiped the surly expression off his face. Thinking about his mom always put him in a bad mood. “I’m fine.”
She invited him to sit in the dining room, where she was still close enough to hear the whistle blow.
He removed his denim jacket and placed it over the back of a chair. But he didn’t expect her to remove her robe. She still had it cinched. As a teenager, she used to show a lot of flesh, wearing skimpy outfits designed to set his gender on fire. Yet somehow, the misbehaving button on her pajama top seemed even sexier than all those cropped T-shirts and short-shorts ever did.
“Is there something special you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked.
Suddenly Ethan had the urge to bolt. He didn’t know what to say, how to explain his compulsion to see her at this hour, so he faked it the best he could. “We didn’t have much time to visit earlier, to catch up on old times.”
She smoothed the Aztec-printed placemat in front of her. “You had an appointment.”
“I’m not in a hurry now.” Which was a lie, of course. He was anxious as hell, impatient to cross the finish line, to have a zipper-blasting affair with her. He’d always been sexually obsessed with her, but things had been complicated when they were young.
She tilted her head. “So that’s your only agenda? To catch up on old times?”
Guilt clawed at his chest. She’d come home to be with Ryan, to help him face the prospect of death. Tearing up the sheets with a man from her past didn’t factor into the equation. “You think I have ulterior motives? Me? The guy who never even kissed you?”
Susan appeared to be pondering his words. And worse yet, she was assessing his body language. He could tell by the way she looked at him. He wondered if she could see through him, if that was part of her job, something psychologists of her caliber were able to do.
“You didn’t come here tonight to see how much I’ve changed? To decide if I’m still a bad girl deep inside?”
He cursed beneath his breath, wishing he’d stayed away from her. “I came here because—”
The whistle on the kettle blew, nearly jarring him out of his skin. She hopped up, bumping the table, rattling his emotions.
“I’ll go get our tea,” she said.
He waited in the dining room. Once the kettle stopped making noise, the house fell into a slumberous hush. Nothing stirred but his heart.
Trying to relax, Ethan looked around. The Spanish-style decor appealed to him. He liked the heavy woods and rich textures.
Susan returned with a clay-colored tray that held two stoneware cups, a small variety of tea bags, a bowl of sugar and a cow-shaped creamer.
He chose an herbal blend that came in an orange packet, but he didn’t add anything to it. Susan picked the same flavor, doctoring hers with sugar and milk.
The drink was warm against his throat, more soothing than he expected. And he was glad she’d provided sturdy cups. His hands were too big for delicate china.
“Go ahead and finish what you were going to say,” she told him. “Tell me why you’re really here.”
He opted for honesty. But not complete honesty. He was keeping his hunger to himself. “It bugged me that you didn’t stop by today.”
“I considered it. But I didn’t want you to think I was starting that old cycle again. Throwing myself at you.”
Her admission gave him a boost of confidence. “Maybe we could do something together. Go on a date or something.”
“A date?” She sounded intrigued yet wary, still unsure of his intentions.
He backed off a bit, lifting one shoulder in an easy shrug. “Just something casual.”
She sucked in a breath. “Like what?”
“We could go for a ride tomorrow afternoon. It’s supposed to warm up.” And he was willing to rearrange his schedule to spend some time with her. “Around noon?”
“Do you have a horse that would suit me? I never was a skilled rider.”
“I’ve got a gentle old mare. I inherited her from one of my clients. I got roped into some dogs, too. And there’s a wild squirrel that pesters me for attention.”
She gave him a sweet smile. “You were always good with strays. With the wild ones, too.”
Grateful, he returned her smile. He’d always considered her a stray. And she’d been as wild as they come. “We can have a picnic. I can pick up some deli food.”
“Why don’t you let me pack our lunch? It will be my contribution to the date.”
“Thanks. That sounds great. I’ll trailer the horses to the hunting cabin ahead of time. You can meet me there instead of the barn.”
She agreed, and he finished his tea and left before it got too late. But as they said goodbye, they parted without any physical contact. No hug, no kiss on the cheek.
Nothing that indicated what tomorrow would bring.
The following morning a puffy blue sky presided over leafy plants and flowering perennials. Susan shared the inner courtyard with Lily and Ryan, who sat across from her at a glass-topped table. This was Susan’s favorite place on the Double Crown. An old-fashioned swing was positioned beneath a vine-draped arbor, and a fountain bubbled in the morning air.
Breakfast consisted of a Spanish omelet, buttered toast, orange juice and coffee. Ryan added more salsa to his omelet, and Susan was glad to see him up and about, enjoying quality time with his wife.
“You look pretty this morning,” Lily said to Susan.
“Thank you.” Susan was dressed in a red T-shirt and Wrangler jeans. Her boots, a sorrel shade of brown, sported a heart design on the toes. She’d fussed over her appearance, taking extra care with her hair and makeup. She’d tried to create a natural look, something that suited her outdoor date with Ethan.
Ryan squinted at Susan, the lines around his eyes crinkling his tanned skin. “You don’t seem very hungry.”
She glanced up from her plate. “I usually eat a light breakfast. Besides, I’m going on a picnic with Ethan, and I’m trying to save room.”
The older man smiled. “Well, that didn’t take long, did it? You’ve only been here for one day and you two made plans already.”
“Don’t tease me. I’m already nervous.” She checked her watch. “I’ve been up since the crack of dawn.” And now she still had two hours to go. But she’d already fried a batch of chicken and filled a plastic container with homemade potato salad.
Ryan’s smile shifted to his wife. “We decided to sleep in. To cozy up a bit.”
A girlish blush stained Lily’s cheeks, and Susan wondered what it would feel like to have a husband, to turn off the alarm clock and snuggle in a pair of strong arms, to know he would always be there.
No, she thought, her emotions turning sad. He wouldn’t always be there. If marriage didn’t end in divorce, then it ended in death.
There was no pain-free escape.
“Tell me about Jason Jamison,” she said, her mind drifting to the criminal who’d been haunting her family.
Ryan set down his fork. “He’s a madman. A disgruntled relative.”
“He’s one of us?”
“In a roundabout way. As you know, my father, Kingston, was adopted by the Fortune family. And a man named Travis Jamison was his biological father.”
“And Jason is a descendent of Travis?”
Ryan nodded, but Lily didn’t move. She sat quietly, listening to Susan and her husband discuss the Fortune legacy.
“Did Travis know about Kingston?” Susan asked. “Did he know he had a son?”
“No. But once Jason discovered that he was a long-lost relative of my father, he swooped down on us like the vulture he is.”
Lily finally spoke. “Jason is a killer. A heartless murderer.”
A chill rattled Susan’s spine, like ice chips scraping against each and every vertebra. She already knew that Jason was a killer, but hearing Lily say it, listening to the anxiety in her voice, brought the reality that much closer to home.
“Did Vincent tell you that Natalie witnessed one of the murders?” Lily asked.
Susan nodded. Vincent was her oldest brother and he’d filled her in about what Natalie, his new bride, had seen. “Jason strangled his own lover. A woman he was passing off as his wife.”
“That’s right,” Lily said. “And before that, Jason shot his own brother.”
Susan couldn’t imagine someone killing his or her sibling. But according to the Bible, Cain had slain Abel. It wasn’t something new.
“Jason has another brother,” Ryan put in. “And this one’s an FBI agent. He’s going to contact me when he gets into town. He’s put other killers behind bars, and he’s not going to rest until he catches Jason.”
“What’s his name?” Susan asked, curious about the man Ryan was putting his faith in.
“Emmett,” he told her. “Emmett Jamison.”
“Jason already escaped from prison,” Lily told Susan. “It happened while he was being transferred to a maximum-security facility.” She paused, took a breath. “We’re grateful that Special Agent Jamison is on his tail. We need all the help we can get.”
Ryan took his wife’s hand. “It will be okay, honey. I promise, it will.”
“I know. But I couldn’t bear it if he hurt someone in our family.” She met Susan’s gaze across the table. “Just because we have security on the ranch doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be careful. Or take their presence for granted.”
Ryan interjected. “Of course she’ll be careful. We all will. But we can’t live in fear. We can’t let Jason destroy our lives.” He brought Lily’s hand to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “We deserve some happiness. Some peace and quiet.”
Susan didn’t say anything. She let Ryan give his wife the comfort she needed. The support only a husband, the man who loved her, could provide.
At noon, Susan arrived at the hunting cabin. She parked the SUV she’d borrowed from Ryan behind Ethan’s truck and trailer and noticed the horses that were tied to a hitching post on the side of the property.
The building itself, a rustic log structure, sat on a piece of land that blended into the horizon, stretching as far as the eye could see. In the front yard a scatter of trees provided shady ambience, and a rough-hewn porch offered two sturdy, old barrel chairs, where a trio of dogs enjoyed the afternoon sun.
The largest of the three, a black Lab, lifted its head as Susan approached, then leaped forward to greet her like an old friend. The other two, mutts of unknown origin, barely paid her any mind.
Within seconds, Ethan flung open the door, and her pulse jumped to her throat. He looked tall and strong—a man with a powerful presence. Shadows cut across his shoulders, dappling the front of a chambray shirt. Beneath the brim of his ever-present hat, those bright blue eyes glittered like twin jewels.
The mixed-breed dogs glanced up at him, but the Lab stayed by her side.
“He likes women,” Ethan told her.
“So you’re a boy,” she said to the Lab.
“His name is Chocolate. But don’t blame me for that. My ex-girlfriend named him.”
Curious, Susan tilted her chin. His voice held no malice, but it didn’t ring of affection, either, or any kind of substantial loss. It made her wonder about Ethan’s capacity to fall in love.
“Are you analyzing me?” he asked.
Caught red-handed, she adjusted the canvas bag over her shoulder. “What can I say? You’re a fascinating subject. Besides, you brought up your ex.”
“Only because of Chocolate’s name. And you fascinate me, too. You always did. Even if I never kissed you.”
Susan glanced at his mouth, and that familiar smile spread across his lips. He was flirting with her, letting down his guard. And she was tempted to flirt back, to enjoy the affection she used to crave from him.
Enraptured, they gazed at each other, with Chocolate standing between them. Then the dog decided he wanted some attention and jammed his nose against Susan’s crotch.
She started, and Ethan bit back a laugh.
“I told you he liked women.”
“That’s not funny. You should correct him.”
“I do, but he never listens. Especially about that.”
“So you just gave up?”
He shrugged, and she shook her head and shoved the canvas bag at him. A gentle shove that had him smiling at her again.
“What’s in here?” he asked. “Dirty magazines? A month’s supply of condoms?”
She raised her eyebrows. When Ethan flirted, he flirted. No holds barred. “It’s our lunch, you pervert.”
“Look who’s talking. The girl who drove every boy in the county mad.”
“I don’t do that anymore.”
“Wanna bet?” He grinned and peered into the bag, examining the contents. “Fried chicken gets a guy every time.”
“There are cookies in there, too.”
“Chocolate chip?”
She glanced at the Lab, making sure he didn’t react too strongly to his name. “Peanut butter. But I didn’t bake them. They were left over in the kitchen.”
“I’ll bet Rosita made them,” he said, referring to Ryan and Lily’s housekeeper. “She used to give me sweets when I was a kid.”
Susan nodded. She knew that Rosita’s husband, Ruben, was a retired ranch hand, a man who’d worked with Ethan’s dad. “How’s your father doing these days?” she asked, assuming he’d retired, as well.
Ethan’s easy manner faltered. “Dad died four months ago. I guess Ryan didn’t tell you.”
“No, he didn’t. I’m sorry.”
“Ryan’s had a lot on his mind.” He heaved a heavy sigh. “But he took it pretty hard. He and Dad were close.”
“So were you and your father,” she said, recalling the stable relationship they’d had, the respect between them. “I always envied you that.”
“It’s been tough these past few months. I really miss him.” He closed the canvas bag, shifting his gaze, changing the subject. “Why don’t you come in and see the cabin? Then we can go for a ride and eat all the wonderful food you brought.”
She followed him into the house, with Chocolate nipping at her heels. The other dogs remained outside.
The cabin consisted of one large room, a simple kitchen and a closet-size bathroom. Animal pelts and hunting trophies lined the walls. A leather couch that she assumed was a sofa bed sat adjacent to a stone fireplace, and braided area rugs padded portions of the wood floor. In the corner, a small oak table accommodated two rustic chairs.
“None of this stuff is mine,” Ethan said. “My belongings are in storage. I’m waiting for escrow to close on the gentleman’s ranch I bought.”
“Gentleman’s ranch?”
“A property with less than a hundred acres,” he explained. “Where the owner makes his living at something other than ranching.”
“Did you sell your dad’s house after he died?”
Ethan nodded. “He’d already signed the deed over to me. But I just couldn’t live there anymore. Too many memories. I figured this was a good time to start over. But the escrow dates didn’t mesh, so that’s why I’m in between homes, renting this place from Ryan.”
“I live in a condo near the wharf,” she offered.
He searched her gaze. “Do you like San Francisco?”
As a montage of overworked days and exhausted nights spun through her mind, she contemplated her answer. “I fit in there.”
He pushed his hat back a little, revealing the expression in his eyes. An emotion she couldn’t quite name.
“You’re a city girl,” he said.
“I’m dressed like a country girl today. Wranglers instead of designer jeans.”
Her comment made him smile, but only for a moment. His intensity remained. She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she let the silence engulf them. Ethan had been a complicated boy, and he’d grown into a complex man. But she expected as much.
“Should we saddle the horses?” she finally asked.
“Sure.” He was still holding the food she’d prepared. “Country boys like me need to get out on the open range.”
“Sounds okay to me,” she teased. “I’ve always had a thing for you cowboy types.”
“I know.” He angled his head to look at her, to roam his gaze over her body. “Opposites attract. It’s a trick of nature. What gets us in trouble.”
Heat spiraled through her veins, making her sexually aware, reminding her of how long it had been since she’d had a lover, a man who meant something to her. But even so, Susan knew better. “We’re not in trouble.”
“Yes, we are,” he said, as he took her hand and led her outside, making her pulse pound all over again.
Three
“Just because we’re attracted to each other doesn’t mean something is going to happen,” Susan said.
Ethan eyed his companion. They stood beside the hitching post, the sun glaring above their heads, raining warmth down their backs. Whom was she trying to convince? Him or herself? “If you say so.”
“I do.” She struggled with the girth. “Nothing happened when we were kids and nothing is going to happen now.”
He took over, nudging her aside, realizing she didn’t remember how to saddle a horse. “Nothing happened because I didn’t let it.”
“And I’m not going to let it happen this time,” she said.
He shrugged, told himself it didn’t matter. “I’m okay with just being friends.”
“So am I.” She turned to look at him, to ease the tension, to create a casual vibe.
But it didn’t work. Not for Ethan. He wanted to touch her, to smooth her hair away from her cheek, to brush his mouth across hers.
Friendship had its drawbacks, he thought.
He finished saddling their horses, then packed their picnic supplies.
“What’s my mare’s name?” she asked.
“Serene.”
“That’s a calm name.”
“She’s a calm horse. But she’s lazy, too.” He patted the old Appaloosa’s neck. “Of course, she plods along just fine on trail. She’ll follow Sequoia anywhere.”
“Sequoia.” Susan studied his gelding. “That fits him. He’s nearly as big as a redwood tree. The same color, too.” She leaned against the hitching post. “We have lots of redwoods in California.”
“I’ve never been there.” He wouldn’t mind taking a trip to the Sequoia National Forest, but that was as far as his interest in California went. He couldn’t imagine himself in Susan’s neck of the woods, traipsing around San Francisco like a misplaced cowboy.
She moved closer to Serene, letting the horse get to know her. Ethan watched her fuss with the mare’s mane, combing her fingers through it. Serene seemed pleased, but he figured the Appaloosa recognized a sucker when she saw one. Susan was babying her as if she were a child.
He squinted beneath the brim of his hat. “You’re spoiling her.”
“She’s already spoiled.”
“She came that way.”
Susan stroked Serene’s nose. “Oh, that’s right. You inherited her from one of your clients.” She bumped his shoulder, teasing him. “And now you’re stuck with her.”
“She needed a home. And Sequoia bonded with her.” He bumped Susan’s shoulder right back. “Do you need a boost up?”
“I can handle it.” She grabbed the horn and hoisted herself onto the mare’s back, the saddle creaking beneath her butt.
Ethan adjusted her stirrups. “How’s that?”
“Good.” She pushed her heels down. “I’m glad you invited me on a date. It’s nice to spend some time with you.”
“I think so, too.” He liked the changes in her, but he liked remembering her as she’d been, too. The girl he’d wanted to protect. The girl who’d needed someone to care.
Ready to hit the trail, he mounted his horse, wishing she’d give him a chance. He didn’t understand what harm would come from a romantic interlude, from a man and woman, two consenting adults, exploring the chemistry that had always been between them.
Chocolate wagged his tail and barked.
“You’re not coming with us,” Ethan told him.
The dog barked again, only louder this time. Then he whined and looked at Susan.
“Why can’t he come?” she asked.
“Because he’s a pest.”
“I don’t mind.”
“So you say. Just wait.”
“We can’t leave him here. Not like that.” By now, the Lab was practically pleading, howling like the con artist he was.
Most veterinarians owned animals that behaved. But not Ethan. He adopted every stubborn creature that came his way. “He’s going to try to mooch off our plates.”
“I’ll fix him his own plate.”
“That won’t pacify him, but I’m game if you are.” He started down the trail. Susan took the spot next to him, with Chocolate padding confidently beside her.
They rode on a sun-dappled path, their horses moving at a relaxed pace. The sky was the color of a robin’s egg, and the ground offered shades of brown and green. Most of the area was flat and clear, but in the distance, live oaks dotted the terrain like Texas-bred sentries. Farther out, a grouping of hills made a regal statement. Ethan loved this land. To him, it represented God’s country, a place where the world stopped to sigh.
Rabbits darted past, making Chocolate perk his ears. But the dog didn’t leave Susan’s side.
They headed for the live oaks, where they decided to have their picnic.
The path they traveled narrowed, so Susan fell into step behind Ethan. He could hear Serene’s footsteps as she picked her way through the brush.
Once they reached the oaks, the trail opened onto a grassy slope. “How’s this?” Ethan asked, stopping beneath an enormous tree, where branches reached across the sky.
“It’s perfect.”
After they dismounted, he tended to the horses and she spread a blanket on the ground, smoothing it over the bumpy surface.
Chocolate danced in canine delight, sniffing the air in anticipation, waiting for the foodfest to begin.
Susan looked up at Ethan. “Did you raise him from a pup?”
He glanced at the dog and the silly beast had the gall to grin. “No. I’ve only had him about six months. He was homeless and hanging out behind Red, the Mexican restaurant in town, begging for burritos and what-not. The owner felt bad for him, but he was making a nuisance of himself, barking at the back door all the time. My girlfriend, Amber, was a waitress there, so she brought him to me.”
She patted the pooch’s head. “And you had no choice but to keep him?”
“Amber wanted him, but Chocolate was too rambunctious around her son.”
She unpacked their lunch. “Your old girlfriend has a child?”
He nodded. “A two-year-old. Truthfully, I miss her little boy more than her. But she reunited with his father, so they’re trying to make a stable home for him.” He stretched his legs and saw how frayed his jeans were. Susan’s, he noticed, were brand spanking new. “It’s what she wanted all along. I was her rebound, but I knew that from the beginning.”
“No love lost on your part?”
“No. How about you?”
“I’ve been in two serious relationships, but my career got in the way both times.” Her voice turned analytical. “I have a difficult time balancing my work and my love life.”
Ethan thought about his mom, then quickly brushed her aside. He didn’t want Susan to know that his mother had chosen her career over her family. Or that his dad had never gotten over her. “I’d like to have a wife and kids someday, but I don’t let it consume me. I’m used to being single.”
“Me, too. But it gets lonely sometimes.”
“Yeah, but it’s better than a crappy marriage.”
“Amen to that.” She fed the dog first, a lunch that he gobbled up in record time, nudging her for more. She obliged, then gave him an apple to play with while she and Ethan filled their paper plates with chicken, fruit and potato salad, keeping the cookies packed and out of Chocolate’s reach.
All too soon, the dog got bored with the apple and begged off Susan’s plate, just like Ethan knew he would. He’d been trying to break Chocolate of that habit, but he didn’t have the heart to scold him. The mutt had forged a cozy spot for himself, resting his head in her lap.
“You’re a bottomless pit.” She fed Chocolate more chicken, and he licked his chops.
“I can hardly blame him,” Ethan said. “This is good.”
“Thank you.” She smiled, making him envy the dog.
She looked pretty in the afternoon light, with her honey-colored hair and green eyes. Chic and sophisticated, even in jeans and boots and her lipstick wearing off.
He glanced at her mouth and wondered if she would let him kiss her when their date ended. Or would that be crossing the friendship line?
“Our timing is off,” he heard himself say.
“Why? Because I don’t sleep around anymore?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He removed bottled water from the saddlebag and took a swig. “I’m impressed with the way you grew up, but I miss you having a crush on me.”
She set her half-empty plate on the blanket. Chocolate was no longer interested in her food. He’d fallen asleep in her lap. “It wasn’t a healthy crush. Nothing I did then was healthy.”
Ethan drank more water, but he wasn’t able to cool his heels. “So now you’re tempering your feelings for me?”
“I can’t go back in time. I can’t become the old Susan, the girl who acted out her pain.”
He longed to touch her, to glide his fingers along her jaw, to comfort the girl she used to be. “I don’t want to go back in time, either. Can’t we separate the past from the present? Start over somehow?”
“I don’t know. Can we? I’ll bet you haven’t forgotten any of those rumors. I’ll bet they’re still occupying your mind.”
“Can you blame me?” He looked up and saw a hawk dive from a tree branch and sail into the air, like a red-tipped angel taking flight. “You were so sweet, so vulnerable, but you were wild, too. It drove me crazy.”
“I was trying to fill the void inside me. The emptiness that wouldn’t go away.”
“I knew you were mixed-up, and I wanted to make everything better. But I didn’t know how.”
She released a deep, emotional breath, stirring the dog, making him open his eyes for a second. “It wasn’t your job to fix me.”
Maybe not, but he was paying the price now. She’d fixed herself, and he was left with nothing but his memories. “I wanted to pound the crap out of every boy who touched you,” he said. “But there were too many names being bandied around. I never knew what to believe.”
“I didn’t have as many lovers as everyone said. The rumors got blown out of proportion.”
“I was so damn jealous, especially when I heard that you were helping some of those guys lose their virginity.”
A mild breeze rustled the leaves above their heads, intensifying the moment. He couldn’t help it. He was still jealous, still primed for a war party. But he knew she wasn’t going to name names.
“There was only one boy who was a virgin,” she finally said. “But at the time, so was I.”
Ethan frowned. “Then how did that rumor get started?”
“Because I pretended that I’d done it before. He was really drunk, so he didn’t know the difference.” She bit the inside of her lip, as if the experience was still raw. “I knew he would talk about it afterward, and I wanted you to find out.”
A lump formed in his throat. “Why? So I’d say ‘to hell with it’ and lose my virginity to you, too?”
She nodded. “It was the only thing I could think of to get your attention. Nothing else was working.”
“I’m sorry, Susan.”
“It wasn’t your fault. It was me. I did it to myself.”
And she’d kept doing it, he thought. She’d kept flaunting other guys in front of him.
Silent, he finished his food and set his plate next to hers, trying to maintain his composure, to ease the sudden tension, the confession in her eyes, the ache in his chest.
“Don’t feel guilty, Ethan. Sleeping with that boy didn’t change who I was. I’d already been messing around before I came to Red Rock.” She gnawed on the inside of her lip again. “Sneaking out of the house, drinking with my friends, learning how to give oral sex.”
“I wasn’t running wild,” he admitted. “But I had a girlfriend before I met you, and we used to engage in some serious foreplay. We just didn’t go all the way.”
She managed a smile. “And here I thought you were a Boy Scout. Proper Ethan.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, you were full of surprises, too. You hardly ever studied, but you got amazing grades. Like a computer nerd or something.”
“Being an honor-roll student was easy for me. But being smart wasn’t what I was after. Not until I straightened up my life and went off to college.”
“Stanford,” he said, then let out a low whistle. “You can’t beat that.”
“Ryan paid for it. I owe him my education.”
Ethan had attended Texas A&M, and he’d been strapped with student loans, debts he’d finally paid off. “I tried not to think about you over the years, but I always wondered how you were.”
She stroked the top of Chocolate’s head, making the big dopey dog sigh in his sleep. “Me, too. Every so often, I’d ask Ryan about you. But I didn’t want to overdo it.”
“And now here we are. On our first date.” He packed up the picnic supplies. “I guess it wasn’t as casual as I promised.”
She looked around. “The atmosphere was casual.”
“But not the conversation.”
“Friends should be candid with each other. I’m glad we talked about it.”
He raised his eyebrows at her. “You wanna tell my libido that?”
She shrugged, laughed, made a silly face at him. “You’ll get over it. Besides, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“That’s absence, smarty.” And his heart was already fond of her. Or was that his hormones? At this point, he couldn’t be sure.
She woke up the dog and they rode back to the hunting cabin, silence humming between them. Once they arrived, he unsaddled the horses and she offered to let him keep the leftovers, including the untouched cookies.
As she prepared to leave, he debated his options. He knew a kiss was out of the question, but he wasn’t about to settle for a handshake.
He opted for a hug, taking an awkward step toward her, like a teenage boy who was about to trip over his own feet. When he took her in his arms, she put her head on his shoulder.
He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled the faded scent of her shampoo. It was lemon, just like when they were young.
She stepped back and smiled at him, but her eyes were a little glassy. He wondered if the contact had made her warm.
“I’ll guess we’ll see each other around,” she said.
He tried to seem unaffected. “Sure. Anytime.”
She walked toward the SUV, and Chocolate trotted after her.
“You can’t go home with her,” Ethan told the dog.
Chocolate ignored the warning. When Susan opened the driver side, he muscled past her and leaped inside. Then he scooted over, waiting for her to get behind the wheel.
She stood beside the vehicle and laughed. “I guess he made up his mind.”
Ethan shook his head. “I’ll drag his butt out of there.”
“No, it’s okay. He can stay with me for a while. I’m sure Ryan and Lily won’t mind.”
“He’ll want to sleep in your bed. But he won’t keep you warm. He’ll hog the covers.”
“With all that fur? I’ll take my chances.” She climbed into the SUV, started the engine and rolled down the windows. Chocolate curled up on the seat.
Ethan figured there was no point in pushing the issue. If she was willing to babysit his dog, there wasn’t much he could do. “Call me if he gives you any trouble. Ryan has my number.”
“Thank you. I will.”
Her gaze caught his and they stared at each other through the passenger window. Then Chocolate popped up and stuck his head in the way, gloating, no doubt, that he’d gotten the girl.
The one Ethan kept losing.
After watching the eleven o’clock news, Susan curled up with Chocolate. A light burned beside the bed, illuminating the room, casting a white sheen over the book in her hand.
The Lab burrowed deeper beside her. He was more than a blanket hog. His body was pressed so close to hers, he could have been her conjoined twin.
“I can’t concentrate,” she told him as she closed the novel and placed it on the nightstand.
She couldn’t quit thinking about Ethan.
The dog yawned, and she scratched his ears, wondering if his master was in bed. Which wasn’t a good sign. If her mind strayed too far in that direction, she would start obsessing about Ethan, letting him consume her, as he did when they were young.
No, she thought. She hadn’t earned a Ph.D. in psychology to become her own patient all over again. Been there, done that, she told herself.
Then why not analyze Ethan instead? That wasn’t the same as obsessing about him, and she had every right to figure out what he was up to.
Why did he want to sleep with her so badly, especially after dodging her teenage advances? Was it a hard-hitting sexual conquest? A man thinking with his penis? A guy who wished he’d nailed the bad girl all those years ago?
On a primal level, that was a definite possibility, something an adult male might consider. But for an elusive boy who’d wanted to make everything better, to heal her rebellious heart, it seemed out of character.
So maybe he was trying to bandage those old wounds. Not consciously, but deep down, where it counted. Where he’d needed her as much as she’d needed him.
But how could she be sure? Ethan had always kept his feelings to himself. Unlike her, who’d rammed her emotions down everyone else’s throats.
A light knock sounded at the door, and Chocolate lifted his head, his sleepy eyes going wide.
“It’s me,” Lily said through the wood.
“Come in,” Susan told her.
The older woman entered, then smiled at the dog, who thumped his tail in a friendly greeting. “I see your companion found a cozy spot.”
“More than cozy.” Susan scratched his ears again. “He’s glued to my side.”
“I think Ryan half expected you to bring Ethan home instead.”
“I would have.” She gave Lily a teasing grin. “If I hadn’t changed my wicked ways.”
Lily chuckled, then sat in a bentwood rocker that creaked with age. She placed her hands on the curved wood and set the chair into a soft, gliding motion. She wore a cotton nightgown and a chenille robe. Her thick hair was fastened into a single braid.
“Is Ryan asleep?” Susan asked.
“He drifted off hours ago, but I can’t seem to settle in.”
“Too much on your mind?”
“Ryan keeps telling me that he won’t let Jason Jamison hurt anyone in our family, but I can’t help but worry. Ryan is ill, and there’s a madman threatening us. There’s only so much I can take.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.” Susan moved to the edge of the bed, closer to Lily. “I think Ryan is just as worried as you are, but he’s trying to remain strong.”
“To prove that he can protect us? Even though he’s dying?”
Susan nodded. She’d seen the determination on Ryan’s face, and she knew how often he consulted his security team. “I wonder when the FBI agent will contact you. When he’ll uncover Jason’s whereabouts.”
“Soon, I hope. That’s what’s so creepy. Just knowing Jason is out there.” She rubbed her arms, even though she was wrapped in a robe. “Maybe I would feel safer if Ryan wasn’t ill. Maybe that’s why I’m having such a hard time with this. I’m losing my rock, my stability.”
“You haven’t lost him yet, Lily. He’s still here, asleep down the hall.”
The older woman blinked away the tears that gathered in her eyes. “You’re right.” She let out a deep sigh. “I love him so much.”
“And he loves you.”
“Yes, he does. And that’s the most comforting feeling in the world.” She stood, smiled at Susan and Chocolate. “Thank you. It helps to talk.”
“For me, too.” She came to her feet and gave Lily a hug. The dog climbed off the bed and tried to nuzzle his way between them, wanting to be part of the embrace.
They stepped back and laughed, giving in to the moment, to the humor the Lab provided.
“He doesn’t seem like a stray,” Lily said.
“Ethan spoils him. He pretends not to, but he does.”
Lily looked up at her. “I can hardly blame him. You better hang on to that one.”
But after Lily said good-night and left the room, Susan wasn’t sure who “that one” was.
Chocolate. Or the man who’d rescued him.
Four
In the morning Susan took Chocolate for a walk down by the barn. She told herself it wasn’t a ploy to see if Ethan was around. She had no idea if Ethan was even working on the Double Crown today. He had other clients, other ranches that paid for his services.
But even so, she scanned the distance, wondering if he was working with the cattle, the animals that looked like irregular-shape dots grazing on the vast Texas land.
Not that it mattered if he was out there somewhere, restraining cows in a chute. She wasn’t searching for Ethan, she reminded herself. She was simply taking his dog out to play.
And play Chocolate did. He ran all over the place, disappearing from sight, then returning with sticks and rocks and other makeshift toys in his mouth.
At her feet he dropped a soda can he’d found, then took off again. He hadn’t gotten the concept of fetch. He didn’t wait around for her to throw his prizes so he could retrieve them. Not that she would toss an aluminum can. She picked it up, intending to throw it away, wondering who’d littered the ranch. She couldn’t imagine any of Ryan’s employees being that disrespectful, but someone had discarded it.
She heard Chocolate barking and hoped he wasn’t getting into any trouble. It appeared to be a playful sound, but he might be bugging one of the ranch hands.
Susan followed the bark and found him behind an outbuilding, along with a teenage girl who sat on the ground, puffing on a cigarette. She looked at Susan without saying a word.
Déjà vu hit her hard and quick.
She saw a reflection of her former self. Not in the girl’s appearance, but in the unaffected stare. Susan never flinched when strangers used to catch her smoking, but she remembered how her heart would pound, how she would pray that her dad wouldn’t find out.
“Do you know if there’s a trash can nearby?” she asked, keeping her tone easy. She wanted to get her point across without backing the child into a corner. She suspected the littered can had come from her.
The teenager shrugged. She wore a nondescript T-shirt, tomboyish jeans and tennis shoes. Strands of wavy brown hair escaped from a simple ponytail. A sprinkling of freckles across her upturned nose gave her face a pixielike quality and so did her petite frame. She appeared to be about fourteen or fifteen. Beside her was a blue-and-yellow backpack.
“Maybe in the barn?” Susan said, referring to the trash can again.
The teen’s brown eyes barely blinked. “I suppose.”
“I guess I’ll throw this away later.” For now she decided to introduce herself. “I’m Susan Fortune, Ryan and Lily’s cousin. And he’s Chocolate,” she added as the dog sniffed the girl’s jeans.
“I know who he is. The vet’s pesky dog.”
Susan couldn’t help but smile. “He means well. What’s your name?”
“Cathy.”
She sat down in the dirt, close enough to make direct eye contact, but not close enough to invade the girl’s space. “How well do you know Ethan?”
“My mom used to babysit for his girlfriend’s kid when they went out.” Cathy squinted at her. “Are you his new girlfriend?”
“No. We’re just friends. We knew each other when we were young.”
“You kind of look like Amber.”
“Really?” Susan recognized the name of Ethan’s ex. “How so?”
“I don’t know. You just do.” A strong pull on the cigarette filled her lungs. “Except she’s prettier than you.”
Ouch, Susan thought. This kid knew how to pack a punch. It made her wonder what or whom Cathy was lashing out at. “Do you go to school around here?”
“Where else would I go? I live on the ranch.”
“You’re a long way from the bus stop. Shouldn’t you get going?” Susan decided to up the ante, to use a little friendly force. “Or are you planning to ditch?”
“I was just getting ready to leave.” Cathy stood, stamped out her cigarette and left it on the ground. Then she grabbed her backpack and took off, disappearing around the corner of the building.
Chocolate barked, and Susan sighed and went after the cigarette butt, dropping it inside the empty can. She had enough problems to contend with; she didn’t need to worry about one more trying-to-be-tough teen. The world was filled with rebellious youths, and she couldn’t help them all.
But Cathy lived on the Double Crown and that made Susan think that fate had intervened. That she should explore Cathy’s situation, at least ask Ethan about her.
Susan waited until dusk to show up at Ethan’s door. He answered her knock with his hair damp and his chest bare. A pair of jeans rode haphazardly on his hips.
He’d just taken a shower, she realized. And climbed into his pants. His fly wasn’t open, but several teeth on his zipper were exposed, drawing her gaze below his belly button.
“Are you here to return my dog?”
“What? No.” She looked up and felt her cheeks sting with bad-girl heat. She shouldn’t be examining him like a side of beef. “Chocolate is with Ryan and Lily.”
He glanced over her shoulder. “Are you sure he didn’t follow you?”
“I’m sure. He was napping when I left the house.” Her gaze strayed again. Faded denim, the waistband of his boxers peeking out. She wanted to touch him, to put her hands where they didn’t belong.
She meant to tell him that she’d stopped by to ask him about Cathy, but suddenly she couldn’t think beyond his body, beyond his half-naked appeal.
He gestured for her to enter the cabin. She walked inside and took a deep breath.
When he closed the door, she noticed a tattoo on his shoulder. Two horseshoes and a star branding his flesh. “When did you do that?”
He turned to face her. “Do what?”
“The ink.”
“Five years ago. For luck, when I turned thirty.” He gave her a half-cocked smile. “I’ll probably do it again when I turn forty.”
“On the other shoulder?”
“I haven’t decided.” He grabbed a shirt that was draped over the sofa. “Do you have any hidden artwork I should know about?”
“Like a pirate ship on my chest? No, I can’t say that I do.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of a rose on your thigh.” He slipped on the shirt, but didn’t button it. A grin slid across his face. “Or maybe a butterfly on your sweet little—”
She raised her eyebrows at him. Ethan Eldridge had turned into a dark and daring man. “You missed your chance to see my butt.”
“Don’t remind me how stupid I was.” He paused and his expression turned serious. “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?”
The change of topic threw her off-kilter. She blinked, reminding herself that she’d arrived at his house to ask him about Cathy.
“We can go to Red,” he said.
Red? The restaurant where his ex-girlfriend worked? “When?”
“In a few minutes. I just have to finish getting dressed.”
“Sounds good. I haven’t eaten yet.” She decided she would ask him about Cathy over dinner. And maybe, if Amber was working, she would get a glimpse of the woman she supposedly resembled.
Even if Amber was prettier.
She sat on the sofa while Ethan got ready. He buttoned his shirt in front of her, but turned his back to unzip his jeans and tuck in his shirttail. A belt came next. She could hear the clank of the buckle.
She didn’t think he was as modest as he seemed. He’d probably done it out of respect to her.
Finally, he walked over to an oak armoire and removed a pair of socks from the single drawer. The cabin didn’t have a bedroom, and she shifted on the sofa, realizing she was sitting on his bed.
He reached for his boots and sat next to her, pulling them on. His dark brown hair, she noticed, had yet to dry. He wore it short and just a little messy. His temples bore fine threads of gray, barely visible, but still a testament of time, of the years that had passed.
“Don’t wear a hat,” she said.
He made a face. “Why not?”
“I like how you look without it.” And she didn’t want him to hide beneath the brim.
He ran a hand through his hair, trying, it seemed, to tame it. But his finger combing didn’t make much of a difference. “I feel naked.”
But he wasn’t, she thought. He was fully clothed now. “I heard that hats make men go bald.”
“Then I’d really be naked.” He gave his Stetson or Resistol or whatever it was a longing glance. “This bites.”
She smiled, knowing she’d won. “Maybe I’ll kiss you tonight.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Really?”
“On the cheek.”
“Tease.” He stood and offered to help her up.
She accepted his hand and his sense of humor. His eyes were twinkling, as blue as the sea, as the sky, as every poetic description she could think of.
A moment later, they took his truck and left for the restaurant in companionable silence.
Red was a converted two-story hacienda brimming with charm. The first floor served as the eatery, with dark wood tables and terra-cotta tiles. Leafy plants and dim lighting offered a cozy atmosphere.
Susan and Ethan sat at a candle-steeped table, and from her vantage point, Susan could see the courtyard where paper lanterns were strung, like leftover holiday lights bouncing off red umbrellas.
The waitress, a friendly brunette, brought them their menus, took their drink orders and departed with a swish of her flouncing uniform. Susan glanced around. Amber, she assumed, was blond.
“The combination platters are really good,” Ethan said.
Susan quit scouting the room and scanned the menu instead. Not a blonde in sight. “Everything looks good.”
“Yeah. I’m starving.” After a busboy delivered their drinks and placed a basket of chips and a bowl of salsa on the table, Ethan dived into them. “I eat out a lot. It’s a hassle to cook for myself.”
“For me, too.” She pondered over a beef burrito or a chicken enchilada, then gave in to her curiosity. “Did you meet Amber here?”
“Yep.” He said it casually, reaching for another chip. “She was separated from her husband and going through a rough time.”
“And you helped her?”
“Oh, sure.” He laughed a little. “I helped her come to the conclusion that she was still in love with her husband.”
Susan dipped into the salsa, waking up her taste buds. “I guess she isn’t working tonight.”
“Not tonight or any other night. She doesn’t work here anymore.” He frowned at her. “Did you think I picked this place because of her? I don’t play those kinds of games.”
“I didn’t see it as a game. Besides, I heard that we look alike.”
“Who? You and Amber?” He sat back in his chair, the frown digging deeper into his skin. “Who told you that?”
“Cathy.”
“Cathy?”
“The teenager whose mom used to babysit Amber’s son.”
“Oh, that Cathy. The kid who sneaks cigarettes. I’ll bet she got to you.”
“Yes, she did. In fact, she’s the reason I came to see you. But first I want to know if what she said is true.”
He gave her a point-blank stare. “Why? Is it some sort of crime for me to sleep with petite blondes?”
“So we do look alike.”
“Not enough to mix you up. And I didn’t even recognize you when I first saw you.”
Which meant that Amber looked more like the way she used to look. Longer hair, darker makeup, sexier clothes. “It could be a Freudian crime.”
He broke into a smile. “Then you should cure me. Take me to bed or something.”
“Nice try.” She smiled, too, but her pulse was tripping like an acid-dropping hippie. Even the flame on the candle was jumping.
The waitress came by to take their food order. Suddenly Susan was glad the other woman was a brunette. It was foolish to feel that way, but she couldn’t help it. She was getting territorial about Ethan.
By the time their meals arrived, she almost convinced herself that she should sleep with him. Almost. But somewhere in the recesses of her brain, she knew an affair would do spongy things to her heart. In spite of her teenage track record, sex had never been casual. For Susan, it came with a price. An emotional price, where attachments were formed, where she needed her partners to care, even the boys who’d passed her around like candy.
She watched Ethan attack his combination platter. He mixed up his food, the chili rellenos and tamales that sat beside hearty helpings of rice and beans.
“Why didn’t you kiss me when we were young?” she asked, her thoughts mired in the past. “I knew you wanted to. I could feel it every time we were together.”
He nearly dropped his fork. “What kind of question is that?”
“An honest one.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you. To become part of your pain.”
“But the way you looked at me gave me false hope.”
“Okay, fine.” He frowned, steadied his fork. “You want the whole truth? I wanted to heal you, to sweep you into my world and make you mine. But the idea of losing you scared me. I knew you wouldn’t stay in Texas.”
Her breath went still; her mind went into its Ph.D. mode. “Who abandoned you, Ethan? Who was I representing?”
“No one. Christ Almighty.” He cursed under his breath, then looked up, apologizing, it seemed, to the Man above. “Does everything we do have to be dissected? Analyzed? Chewed up and spit out?”
Guilty as charged, she thought.
“Besides,” he went on, “now that we’re older, I’ve been chasing you like a rutting bull. I think that makes us even.”
She looked into his eyes and saw his pain, the rejection she was causing. “I’m sorry. But now it’s my turn to be afraid. To be wary of an attachment.”
“Maybe I can teach you how to get over it.” He gave her a gentle smile. “Some things aren’t meant to last. Sometimes we have to take life as it comes.”
He was right. But he was wrong, too. Sometimes people had to protect their hearts. “I don’t have affairs anymore. Not without some sort of commitment.”
“Does it have to be a long-term commitment?”
“I like to hope it does. My last two relationships lasted for quite a few years. They didn’t work out, but at least I tried.”
He lifted his water and took a swig. “Mine never last. But I’m not saying that I won’t make a long-term commitment. That it won’t ever happen.”
She nodded, recalling that he wanted a wife and children someday. “Maybe you’re not as detached as you seem.”
“Detached? I’m falling at your feet, woman.”
“Because you want sex.”
“I settled for friendship, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did.” And he was turning into a darn good friend, someone she was able to confide in.
“Do you want to talk about Cathy?” he asked. “Dissect her for a while?”
“And take the pressure off of us? Sure.” She took a bite of the enchilada she’d barely touched, grateful her appetite was coming back. Cathy was the reason she’d accepted his dinner invitation. Amber, too. But she’d already grilled him about his ex. “Tell me what you know about her.”
“She’s fourteen, I think. And she’s originally from California.”
She scooted closer to the table. “Northern California?”
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Sheri WhiteFeather
It's not easy living down a wild-child reputation. But Susan Fortune has never done anything the easy way. Who would have guessed she'd turn out to be a well-respected San Francisco psychologist with a knack for helping wayward teens? Not Ethan Eldridge, her secret crush who lived in Red Rock, Texas, seventeen years ago.Now back on the ranch to pay respects to ailing Ryan Fortune, Susan lets Ethan in on her little secret. However, the sexy and serious veterinarian has a surprise for her, too. Their longing was mutual. And how can he say no to a second chance with Susan? But Ethan's heart is scarred. And if she wants to keep him, Susan's got to prove that even rebels have to put down roots sometime.
Praise for Sheri WhiteFeather:
“WhiteFeather delivers hot sex, spicy sexual tension and pure old-fashioned love.”
—Romantic Times
“Not only does Ms. WhiteFeather…turn a phrase with considerable ease, she also delivers top-notch characterization and complex emotional development to create a pleasurable reading experience.”
—Romantic Times
“This book pushed the envelope right to the edge of the table and let it hang in precarious balance. The premise is edgy and sexy and the story is executed to perfection. The characters grabbed me by the heartstrings with their very emotional conflicts. The intensity of their attraction for each other nearly set the book on fire….”
—Writers Unlimited
“…this steamy, hot romance is fantastically written…the love scenes are passionate enough to ignite the pages. Ms. WhiteFeather knows her audience well and writes in a way to capture their attention while allowing them to ‘fall’ into the careful plotting and secrets of each character.”
—Writers Unlimited
Don’t miss Signature Select’s exciting series:
The Fortunes of Texas: Reunion
get swept up in twelve new stories from your favorite family!
COWBOY AT MIDNIGHT by Ann Major
A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING by Marie Ferrarella
IN THE ARMS OF THE LAW by Peggy Moreland
LONE STAR RANCHER by Laurie Paige
THE GOOD DOCTOR by Karen Rose Smith
THE DEBUTANTE by Elizabeth Bevarly
KEEPING HER SAFE by Myrna Mackenzie
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION by Kristi Gold
ONCE A REBEL by Sheri WhiteFeather
MILITARY MAN by Marie Ferrarella
FORTUNE’S LEGACY by Maureen Child
THE RECKONING by Christie Ridgway
Once a Rebel
Sheri WhiteFeather
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Dear Reader,
In 1999, the year my first book was published, the original Fortunes of Texas was in full swing. I wasn’t part of the original series, but like most of you, I was enthralled with the Fortune family. And now here I am, all these years later, participating in the reunion.
If you’re curious about my hero and heroine, here’s the scoop. Ethan Eldridge, a large-animal vet, heals wounded creatures, and Susan Fortune, a psychologist, dedicates her life to troubled teens. Together, they create magic. At least for me. While writing their story, I consulted my own family: two open-minded teenagers and a veterinary technician husband who gave me his textbooks for research.
The other authors on this series were wonderful. The ladies who live in Texas shared information about the Lone Star State, and on top of that, Karen Rose Smith was gracious enough to send me a signed copy of her original Fortune book, with pages marked for reference. I was especially captivated by Ryan and Lily Fortune, returning characters that play a significant role in my story.
I hope you find THE FORTUNES OF TEXAS: REUNION an engaging experience, stories to treasure for years to come.
Love,
Sheri WhiteFeather
To Patience Smith (our amazing editor) and the other authors on this series—seeing you in Dallas was a blast. To those of you who weren’t able to be there, we missed you.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Epilogue
Bonus Features
One
Susan Fortune approached the barn, the weathered wood calling to her like an old friend, stirring scattered memories, making them swirl in her mind.
In the past seventeen years she hadn’t been home much. She’d returned now and then, but always in a rush, a day or two at Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter. But being back in Red Rock, Texas, back on the Double Crown Ranch, felt different this time.
Because this wasn’t a harried holiday weekend, a fast-paced trip she’d crammed into her busy schedule. This was the real thing. A homecoming that turned her heart inside out.
Her cousin Ryan, the Fortune family patriarch, was dying.
Susan moved closer to the barn, the slightly chilled, early February air stinging her skin. She’d spent the most important time of her life, her senior year in high school, on the Double Crown. Ryan had taken her in after her alcohol-enraged father had kicked her out. He’d offered her a place to stay, a place to feel loved, a home away from home, from the turbulence that had nearly destroyed her.
And now here she was, wishing she could save Ryan, but knowing she couldn’t.
Reflective, she looked around, watching the ranch hands do their jobs. And then a tall, tanned man in rugged denims, with a straw cowboy hat dipped low on his forehead, exited the barn. He strode toward a white dually, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe, every ounce of oxygen in her lungs refusing to cooperate.
Was that Ethan Eldridge?
Yes, she told herself. It had to be. He’d grown bigger, broader, more masculine, but she recognized him just the same. Even the way he wore his clothes bred familiarity. A hand-tooled belt that he’d probably made himself was threaded through his jeans, and the hem of each pant leg frayed around a pair of weather-beaten boots. When he adjusted his hat in a memorable manner, her girlhood dreams went up in a cloud of pheromone-scented smoke.
She hadn’t seen him since they were teenagers, since she’d pined for him like the emotionally torn, desperate-for-affection female she’d been.
Should she call his name? Get his attention before he climbed into his truck and drove away?
Or would that make her look foolish? Susan Fortune, the reformed bad girl, flaunting herself in front of Ethan Eldridge all over again.
Unsure of what to do, she simply stood where she was, the wind whipping her hair across her cheek. But before she could come to a decision, Ethan reacted to her presence. Like a solitary animal, a cougar sensing an intruder, he slowed his pace and turned around.
Leaving Susan exposed to his gaze.
Chiding herself, she smoothed her hair, batting it away from her face. She wasn’t reverting to promiscuity. If anything, she was able to diagnose her teenage self, the rebellious girl who’d paraded other boys in front of Ethan. Susan understood the wild child that had festered inside her. She’d graduated from Stanford and earned a Ph.D. in psychology.
She decided to greet him with a friendly yet noncommittal hello, so she started off in his direction, cutting across the dirt path that separated them. But as she analyzed his catlike posture, she realized that he hadn’t identified her.
He had no idea who she was.
Beneath the brim of his hat, his eyebrows furrowed. A frown of curiosity, she thought. A country boy wondering why a citified blonde, dressed in designer jeans and a form-fitting blazer, was determined to talk to him.
Finally when they were face-to-face, with sights, sounds and smells of the ranch spinning around them, recognition dawned in his eyes.
Those stunning blue eyes.
“Susan?” He beat her to the punch, saying her name first.
“Ethan.” She extended her hand, preparing to touch him. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.” He accepted her hand, enveloping it with callused fingers.
They gazed at each other, silence sizzling between them. She could feel the soundless energy zapping the air, conjuring invisible fireflies.
So much for her Ph.D.
Suddenly she was a smitten seventeen-year-old, reliving the day they’d met. He had been a ranch hand’s hardworking, properly reared son, and she had been as untamed as the Texas terrain, a lost girl aching for attention. So much so, she’d parked her butt on a fence rail, as close to him as possible. Then she’d unbuttoned the top of her blouse, complaining about the heat, trying to get him to look at her.
He did, but only for a second. Just long enough to stop working and offer her a bottle of water. His water. A plastic container he’d yet to open, to drink from.
An elusive boy. A gallant gesture.
In her young, needy soul, Susan had fallen like a ton of shattered bricks, wanting Ethan even more. But she’d never gotten him. Nothing. Not even a kiss.
“I’m sorry about what’s happening to Ryan,” he said, bringing her back to the present. “You know how much I care about him.”
She nodded. Ethan had practically grown up on the Double Crown. He knew Ryan well. “He’s such a good man. Everyone loves him.”
“I’m sure he’s glad to have you home.”
Home. The word never failed to strike her heart. She’d lived with her parents in Katy, Texas, a suburb of Houston, until Ryan took her in. Sixteen years in Katy and one year in Red Rock. Yet Red Rock would always seem like home, even though she’d moved away from Texas altogether.
Ethan shifted his stance, drawing her attention to his tall, muscular form. He’d been lean and wiry as a teenager, a boy who’d spent all of his free time with the animals on the ranch.
“Ryan told me you became a large-animal vet,” she said.
“And he told me you became a child psychologist.” A smile ghosted across his lips. “I guess we both grew up, didn’t we?”
“Yes, we did.” As a girl, she used to dream about that uneven smile. Slow and sexy, she thought. One corner of his mouth tilting in a lazy sort of way.
Caught up in the moment, she stole a glance at his left hand. The last she’d heard, he was single, but that was a few years ago. She hadn’t made a habit of grilling Ryan about him.
When she noticed the absence of a ring, she sighed. Ethan was thirty-five, the same age as she was, and she’d never married, either. But her work was her priority, the heartbeat of her existence.
Did Ethan feel that way, too? Or was she jumping to conclusions? Just because he didn’t wear a ring didn’t mean he wasn’t involved in a committed relationship. Or that he wasn’t looking for a partner, someone to share the ups and downs in his life.
“Did you just get here today?” he asked.
“Yes.” She told herself to quit psychoanalyzing him, to leave her textbook curiosity at the curb. “I arrived this morning.” She flipped her wrist and checked her watch. “A few hours ago. Ryan is taking a nap, so I decided to go for a walk.”
“How’s Lily holding up?”
“She’s doing the best she can. When I left the house, she was fussing in the kitchen, giving herself something to do.” Lily was Ryan’s third wife, a woman he’d loved since his youth but hadn’t married until many years later.
The wind rustled Ethan’s shirt. “How long are you going to stay?”
“I’m not sure. But I’m hoping to help everyone get through this.” She noticed the expressive lines around his mouth, the aging process that had altered his features, cutting masculine grooves into his skin.
He reminded her of a model in a cowboy ad. The stereotyped Texan, with his hard-angled cheekbones, slightly crooked nose and lightly peppered jaw. But she knew he was real.
Tangible. Touchable. Flesh and blood.
Even after all these years she still wondered what it would feel like to kiss him.
When she lifted her gaze to his, he dipped his hat even lower, shielding his eyes.
Just like old times, she thought. She’d never been able to break through Ethan’s defenses. Even though he’d been attracted to her, he’d kept his distance, making her long for him even more.
Not that she would let herself long for him now. Kissing him, or even fantasizing about it, would be a mistake.
“You must be working today,” she said, trying to resume a casual conversation.
“Yes, I am. But I live here, too.”
She started. “On the Double Crown?”
“It’s only temporary. I’m in between homes right now, so I’m renting the hunting cabin from Ryan.” He gestured to the barn. “Of course I’m boarding my horses here, too.”
From what she recalled, Ethan had been living on the rough-and-tumble property his father owned. Although she wondered why he was moving, she decided not to ask, not to delve too deeply into his affairs, even if she wanted to, even if everything about him still intrigued her. “I’ve never been inside the hunting cabin.”
“Really?” He shifted his feet, scattering dirt beneath his heels. “There isn’t much to see, but you can come by later if you want to.”
Surprised by the invitation, Susan didn’t know what to say. He’d never asked her to visit him before. He’d never encouraged her advances. Of course, this time she wasn’t falling all over him. At least not outwardly. Inside, her heart was skipping girlish beats.
“Thanks,” she finally managed.
“Sure.”
While silence stretched between them, the wind kicked up, the scent of hay and horses triggering her senses. In the distance cattle grazed, like colored dots on the horizon.
“I better go,” he said. “I have an appointment on another ranch.”
She told herself to relax, to not make a big deal out of his offer. “It was nice talking to you, Ethan.”
“You, too,” he told her.
He climbed behind the wheel of his white dually, and she watched him start the engine. Within no time, he was gone.
The boy with the slow, sexy smile.
She returned to the house and headed for the kitchen, where she found Lily, bustling around the stove.
Susan stood in the doorway, admiring the woman Ryan had married. Even at fifty-nine, Lily had the power to turn heads. Long limbed and voluptuous, she wore a mint-colored sweater and a loose skirt, attire that was as unpretentious as her style. Her midnight hair was fastened into a simple twist, leaving the angles of her face unframed.
“That smells good,” Susan said, indicating the pot of broth simmering on the stove.
Lily looked up, her large, exotic-shaped eyes radiating warmth. “It’s corn soup. An old Apache recipe.”
Which made sense, considering Lily was part Apache and part Spanish.
Susan moved farther into the kitchen and watched as Lily mixed several pounds of boiled, shredded beef with a homemade batch of acorn meal. She suspected that Lily had taken her time, peeling the acorns and grinding them, a task that was meant to keep her mind off Ryan’s illness, especially on this gloomy morning.
A second later Lily took a shaky breath, then glanced out the window as though someone were stalking her. And why not? Susan knew that a man named Jason Jamison, a cold-blooded killer, had been threatening the family. Of course Ryan had hired a security team to protect them. He wouldn’t leave something like that to chance.
“Are you okay?” she asked Lily.
“I’m fine. Just jittery, that’s all. There’s so much to deal with right now.” She turned away from the window. “Will you check on Ryan? And if he’s awake, will you tell him that I’ll bring him some soup later?”
“Sure. But if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
“I know.” Lily gave her a brave smile. “I’m glad you’re staying with us. I like having you around.”
Her heart bumped her chest, filling her with a sense of longing, of family, of home and hearth. Lily hadn’t been Ryan’s wife when Susan had lived on the Double Crown, but she’d gotten to know her later. Mostly from trips Ryan and Lily had taken to San Francisco, where they’d traveled to visit her.
“Thank you,” Susan told her. “That means a lot to me.”
Lily nodded, and they simply gazed at each other, caught in a soundless moment.
After the older woman resumed her task, adding the beef and acorn meal to the broth, Susan left the kitchen, her emotions tugging at her sleeve.
She walked through the great room, her boots echoing on tiled floors, as restless as the Fortune empire ghosts.
Over the years, the house, a traditional adobe structure, had undergone quite a few renovations. At one point it had been divided into two separate wings, where Ryan and his older brother, Cameron, lived with their families. But Susan knew that Cameron had died over ten years ago, leaving Ryan to pick up the pieces of his brother’s lazy yet tremulous life.
She headed to Ryan and Lily’s room, a master suite with a private bathroom, hot tub and sauna. The door leading to the sitting area was open, a sign that her cousin was awake. She knocked anyway, a light tap to announce her presence.
“Come in,” he called out.
She entered the room and saw him sitting on a small sofa near the fireplace. To Susan, Ryan had always seemed larger than life, an invincible force with his solid frame and darkly handsome features. But an inoperable brain tumor had challenged his strength, creating symptoms he could no longer hide.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Better now that you’re here.”
He patted the cushion next to him, and she moved forward. He didn’t look particularly refreshed from his nap, but she was grateful that he was coherent. Earlier, he’d been too dizzy to converse with her.
She sat down and took his hand, holding it gently in hers. “I love you.”
A smile wobbled his mouth. “I love you, too, little girl.”
“I’m not little anymore.”
He gave her hand a light squeeze. “You’re still my baby.”
She wanted to ask him about Jason Jamison, to discuss the details, but she didn’t want to alert him that his beloved wife was fretting in the kitchen, looking over her shoulder every chance she got. Sooner or later Susan would learn everything there was to know about Jason. Both of her brothers had warned her about this man, suggesting that she talk to Ryan about him. Which she intended to do, just not now.
“Lily’s making soup,” she said, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt.
“What kind?”
“Apache corn. She’s going to bring you some when it’s done.”
“That sounds good.” He released her hand. “What did you do today?”
“I went for a walk. Down by the barn.” She studied the fireplace, the rugged structure, the natural beauty of each carefully placed stone. “I ran into Ethan.”
“Really?” Ryan perked up. “How’d it go?”
“Fine. We only talked for a few minutes.” She glanced at her cousin and saw him scrutinizing her beneath his dark brows. Anxious, she fidgeted, then caught herself, folding her hands on her lap. “I used to have a crush on him.”
“I know you did, pumpkin. I think everyone knew.”
Embarrassed, she laughed a little, picturing herself as she was, a teenager in tight clothes and too much mascara. “I wasn’t very subtle about it.”
“It’s hard to hide those kinds of feelings.” He was still watching her, looking at her with a knowing expression. “Old crushes run deep.” He paused, then said, “Lily was the love of my life when I was young. And look what happened to us.”
She shook her head. “It’s not like that between Ethan and me. I hardly know him.”
“The heart doesn’t forget.”
She leaned forward, tempted to touch Ryan’s cheek. She knew he’d loved his first wife. She’d been his childhood friend, the woman who bore his children. But Lily was the fire in his soul. “You’re just an old romantic.”
“And you’re a young woman who needs a good man.”
“I have my career.”
“And a big, empty condo in California. That’s not enough, Susan.”
“I’m not ready to fall in love.” And especially not with Ethan, she decided. She didn’t need the complication. Not now. Not while she was in Texas. “I spent enough time mooning over him.”
“Like I used to do over Lily?”
She leaned back against the sofa, doing her damnedest not to lose the fight. Apparently Ryan was determined to drive his point home, to compare his life to hers. “I never pegged you for a matchmaker.”
“Are you kidding? Me? The old romantic?” He chuckled under his breath. “It’s right up my alley.”
She forced a smile, humoring him. And humoring herself, as well.
Because deep down, she wanted to see Ethan again, to summon the courage to stop by the hunting cabin. But she knew she wouldn’t.
Susan wasn’t about to chase him.
Not ever again.
Two
Ethan parked his truck and entered the outer courtyard of the main house, where native plants and ornamental grasses flourished. He took the stone walkway, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Dusk had long since fallen and Susan hadn’t showed up at his place. For some self-absorbed reason, he’d expected her to visit him, to take advantage of his invitation. Seventeen years ago, she would’ve jumped at the chance.
But apparently times had changed.
He blew out a rough breath and inhaled the night-blooming flowers that flanked his path. Was it too late to call on her?
He adjusted his hat, lowering it on his head. Susan never failed to make his blood warm, even when they were kids. He had no business wanting her. Not then and not now.
But he couldn’t help it.
When they were teenagers, he’d heard all sorts of stories about her. He had no idea if the rumors were true. According to gossip, she’d slept with a slew of boys in Red Rock. She’d supposedly devirginized a few of them, too.
Not that his fantasies hadn’t run in that direction. She’d been the object of every wet dream he could remember. But he’d had other dreams about her, too. He’d wanted to protect her, to heal her the way he’d learned to minister to the animals on the ranch. But Susan hadn’t been a wounded filly or an ailing calf. She’d been wild and independent, as raw as the confusion she’d caused.
The confusion she was still causing.
Ethan wanted to give in to temptation. He wanted to unlock the mystery of the girl he’d refrained from touching, the girl who’d bloomed into a sophisticated woman.
With anxiety churning in his gut, he mounted the front steps. Why hadn’t she stopped by the hunting cabin to see him? Had she deliberately left him panting after her? Or was he reading too much into it?
Either way, he was trapped, locked in good and tight.
The way she used to flirt with him. The nights he’d spent thinking about her. Every last memory was magnified in his mind, right down to the day she’d gone off to college.
The day she’d disappeared from his life.
Ethan cleared his thoughts, then knocked on the door, expecting Lily to answer his summons. But when Susan appeared, wearing a flowing robe draped over a pair of silky pajamas, he wished he’d had the sense to forget about her.
She presented a soft, sultry image, with the top button on her pajamas straining above her breasts. The robe gaped in that spot, drawing his gaze to the slight swell of cleavage.
“Ethan?”
He pulled his gaze to her face. Her honey-blond hair fell in a loose, nighttime style, lightly combed and framing her chin. He wondered if it smelled like lemons. Her hair had been longer when they were younger, and the citrus scent used to drive him half-mad. Not that she would know the difference. He’d never mentioned it.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” She tightened the belt on her robe, but her modest effort didn’t change a thing.
He could still see the straining button.
He cleared his throat. “I hope it’s not too late for a visit.”
“No. Of course not.” She recovered her composure. “Ryan and Lily already went to bed, but I was just getting ready to fix a cup of tea. Would you like some?”
He rarely drank tea, but he wasn’t about to turn her down, not after showing up at her door. “Sure. That’d be nice.”
Ethan followed her into the kitchen, where she filled a stainless steel kettle, the kind that whistled, and set it on the stove. He remembered that his mom used to boil water in one of those. As a child, he used to wonder what made it cry out.
When Susan turned to look at him, he caught himself frowning.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He wiped the surly expression off his face. Thinking about his mom always put him in a bad mood. “I’m fine.”
She invited him to sit in the dining room, where she was still close enough to hear the whistle blow.
He removed his denim jacket and placed it over the back of a chair. But he didn’t expect her to remove her robe. She still had it cinched. As a teenager, she used to show a lot of flesh, wearing skimpy outfits designed to set his gender on fire. Yet somehow, the misbehaving button on her pajama top seemed even sexier than all those cropped T-shirts and short-shorts ever did.
“Is there something special you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked.
Suddenly Ethan had the urge to bolt. He didn’t know what to say, how to explain his compulsion to see her at this hour, so he faked it the best he could. “We didn’t have much time to visit earlier, to catch up on old times.”
She smoothed the Aztec-printed placemat in front of her. “You had an appointment.”
“I’m not in a hurry now.” Which was a lie, of course. He was anxious as hell, impatient to cross the finish line, to have a zipper-blasting affair with her. He’d always been sexually obsessed with her, but things had been complicated when they were young.
She tilted her head. “So that’s your only agenda? To catch up on old times?”
Guilt clawed at his chest. She’d come home to be with Ryan, to help him face the prospect of death. Tearing up the sheets with a man from her past didn’t factor into the equation. “You think I have ulterior motives? Me? The guy who never even kissed you?”
Susan appeared to be pondering his words. And worse yet, she was assessing his body language. He could tell by the way she looked at him. He wondered if she could see through him, if that was part of her job, something psychologists of her caliber were able to do.
“You didn’t come here tonight to see how much I’ve changed? To decide if I’m still a bad girl deep inside?”
He cursed beneath his breath, wishing he’d stayed away from her. “I came here because—”
The whistle on the kettle blew, nearly jarring him out of his skin. She hopped up, bumping the table, rattling his emotions.
“I’ll go get our tea,” she said.
He waited in the dining room. Once the kettle stopped making noise, the house fell into a slumberous hush. Nothing stirred but his heart.
Trying to relax, Ethan looked around. The Spanish-style decor appealed to him. He liked the heavy woods and rich textures.
Susan returned with a clay-colored tray that held two stoneware cups, a small variety of tea bags, a bowl of sugar and a cow-shaped creamer.
He chose an herbal blend that came in an orange packet, but he didn’t add anything to it. Susan picked the same flavor, doctoring hers with sugar and milk.
The drink was warm against his throat, more soothing than he expected. And he was glad she’d provided sturdy cups. His hands were too big for delicate china.
“Go ahead and finish what you were going to say,” she told him. “Tell me why you’re really here.”
He opted for honesty. But not complete honesty. He was keeping his hunger to himself. “It bugged me that you didn’t stop by today.”
“I considered it. But I didn’t want you to think I was starting that old cycle again. Throwing myself at you.”
Her admission gave him a boost of confidence. “Maybe we could do something together. Go on a date or something.”
“A date?” She sounded intrigued yet wary, still unsure of his intentions.
He backed off a bit, lifting one shoulder in an easy shrug. “Just something casual.”
She sucked in a breath. “Like what?”
“We could go for a ride tomorrow afternoon. It’s supposed to warm up.” And he was willing to rearrange his schedule to spend some time with her. “Around noon?”
“Do you have a horse that would suit me? I never was a skilled rider.”
“I’ve got a gentle old mare. I inherited her from one of my clients. I got roped into some dogs, too. And there’s a wild squirrel that pesters me for attention.”
She gave him a sweet smile. “You were always good with strays. With the wild ones, too.”
Grateful, he returned her smile. He’d always considered her a stray. And she’d been as wild as they come. “We can have a picnic. I can pick up some deli food.”
“Why don’t you let me pack our lunch? It will be my contribution to the date.”
“Thanks. That sounds great. I’ll trailer the horses to the hunting cabin ahead of time. You can meet me there instead of the barn.”
She agreed, and he finished his tea and left before it got too late. But as they said goodbye, they parted without any physical contact. No hug, no kiss on the cheek.
Nothing that indicated what tomorrow would bring.
The following morning a puffy blue sky presided over leafy plants and flowering perennials. Susan shared the inner courtyard with Lily and Ryan, who sat across from her at a glass-topped table. This was Susan’s favorite place on the Double Crown. An old-fashioned swing was positioned beneath a vine-draped arbor, and a fountain bubbled in the morning air.
Breakfast consisted of a Spanish omelet, buttered toast, orange juice and coffee. Ryan added more salsa to his omelet, and Susan was glad to see him up and about, enjoying quality time with his wife.
“You look pretty this morning,” Lily said to Susan.
“Thank you.” Susan was dressed in a red T-shirt and Wrangler jeans. Her boots, a sorrel shade of brown, sported a heart design on the toes. She’d fussed over her appearance, taking extra care with her hair and makeup. She’d tried to create a natural look, something that suited her outdoor date with Ethan.
Ryan squinted at Susan, the lines around his eyes crinkling his tanned skin. “You don’t seem very hungry.”
She glanced up from her plate. “I usually eat a light breakfast. Besides, I’m going on a picnic with Ethan, and I’m trying to save room.”
The older man smiled. “Well, that didn’t take long, did it? You’ve only been here for one day and you two made plans already.”
“Don’t tease me. I’m already nervous.” She checked her watch. “I’ve been up since the crack of dawn.” And now she still had two hours to go. But she’d already fried a batch of chicken and filled a plastic container with homemade potato salad.
Ryan’s smile shifted to his wife. “We decided to sleep in. To cozy up a bit.”
A girlish blush stained Lily’s cheeks, and Susan wondered what it would feel like to have a husband, to turn off the alarm clock and snuggle in a pair of strong arms, to know he would always be there.
No, she thought, her emotions turning sad. He wouldn’t always be there. If marriage didn’t end in divorce, then it ended in death.
There was no pain-free escape.
“Tell me about Jason Jamison,” she said, her mind drifting to the criminal who’d been haunting her family.
Ryan set down his fork. “He’s a madman. A disgruntled relative.”
“He’s one of us?”
“In a roundabout way. As you know, my father, Kingston, was adopted by the Fortune family. And a man named Travis Jamison was his biological father.”
“And Jason is a descendent of Travis?”
Ryan nodded, but Lily didn’t move. She sat quietly, listening to Susan and her husband discuss the Fortune legacy.
“Did Travis know about Kingston?” Susan asked. “Did he know he had a son?”
“No. But once Jason discovered that he was a long-lost relative of my father, he swooped down on us like the vulture he is.”
Lily finally spoke. “Jason is a killer. A heartless murderer.”
A chill rattled Susan’s spine, like ice chips scraping against each and every vertebra. She already knew that Jason was a killer, but hearing Lily say it, listening to the anxiety in her voice, brought the reality that much closer to home.
“Did Vincent tell you that Natalie witnessed one of the murders?” Lily asked.
Susan nodded. Vincent was her oldest brother and he’d filled her in about what Natalie, his new bride, had seen. “Jason strangled his own lover. A woman he was passing off as his wife.”
“That’s right,” Lily said. “And before that, Jason shot his own brother.”
Susan couldn’t imagine someone killing his or her sibling. But according to the Bible, Cain had slain Abel. It wasn’t something new.
“Jason has another brother,” Ryan put in. “And this one’s an FBI agent. He’s going to contact me when he gets into town. He’s put other killers behind bars, and he’s not going to rest until he catches Jason.”
“What’s his name?” Susan asked, curious about the man Ryan was putting his faith in.
“Emmett,” he told her. “Emmett Jamison.”
“Jason already escaped from prison,” Lily told Susan. “It happened while he was being transferred to a maximum-security facility.” She paused, took a breath. “We’re grateful that Special Agent Jamison is on his tail. We need all the help we can get.”
Ryan took his wife’s hand. “It will be okay, honey. I promise, it will.”
“I know. But I couldn’t bear it if he hurt someone in our family.” She met Susan’s gaze across the table. “Just because we have security on the ranch doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be careful. Or take their presence for granted.”
Ryan interjected. “Of course she’ll be careful. We all will. But we can’t live in fear. We can’t let Jason destroy our lives.” He brought Lily’s hand to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “We deserve some happiness. Some peace and quiet.”
Susan didn’t say anything. She let Ryan give his wife the comfort she needed. The support only a husband, the man who loved her, could provide.
At noon, Susan arrived at the hunting cabin. She parked the SUV she’d borrowed from Ryan behind Ethan’s truck and trailer and noticed the horses that were tied to a hitching post on the side of the property.
The building itself, a rustic log structure, sat on a piece of land that blended into the horizon, stretching as far as the eye could see. In the front yard a scatter of trees provided shady ambience, and a rough-hewn porch offered two sturdy, old barrel chairs, where a trio of dogs enjoyed the afternoon sun.
The largest of the three, a black Lab, lifted its head as Susan approached, then leaped forward to greet her like an old friend. The other two, mutts of unknown origin, barely paid her any mind.
Within seconds, Ethan flung open the door, and her pulse jumped to her throat. He looked tall and strong—a man with a powerful presence. Shadows cut across his shoulders, dappling the front of a chambray shirt. Beneath the brim of his ever-present hat, those bright blue eyes glittered like twin jewels.
The mixed-breed dogs glanced up at him, but the Lab stayed by her side.
“He likes women,” Ethan told her.
“So you’re a boy,” she said to the Lab.
“His name is Chocolate. But don’t blame me for that. My ex-girlfriend named him.”
Curious, Susan tilted her chin. His voice held no malice, but it didn’t ring of affection, either, or any kind of substantial loss. It made her wonder about Ethan’s capacity to fall in love.
“Are you analyzing me?” he asked.
Caught red-handed, she adjusted the canvas bag over her shoulder. “What can I say? You’re a fascinating subject. Besides, you brought up your ex.”
“Only because of Chocolate’s name. And you fascinate me, too. You always did. Even if I never kissed you.”
Susan glanced at his mouth, and that familiar smile spread across his lips. He was flirting with her, letting down his guard. And she was tempted to flirt back, to enjoy the affection she used to crave from him.
Enraptured, they gazed at each other, with Chocolate standing between them. Then the dog decided he wanted some attention and jammed his nose against Susan’s crotch.
She started, and Ethan bit back a laugh.
“I told you he liked women.”
“That’s not funny. You should correct him.”
“I do, but he never listens. Especially about that.”
“So you just gave up?”
He shrugged, and she shook her head and shoved the canvas bag at him. A gentle shove that had him smiling at her again.
“What’s in here?” he asked. “Dirty magazines? A month’s supply of condoms?”
She raised her eyebrows. When Ethan flirted, he flirted. No holds barred. “It’s our lunch, you pervert.”
“Look who’s talking. The girl who drove every boy in the county mad.”
“I don’t do that anymore.”
“Wanna bet?” He grinned and peered into the bag, examining the contents. “Fried chicken gets a guy every time.”
“There are cookies in there, too.”
“Chocolate chip?”
She glanced at the Lab, making sure he didn’t react too strongly to his name. “Peanut butter. But I didn’t bake them. They were left over in the kitchen.”
“I’ll bet Rosita made them,” he said, referring to Ryan and Lily’s housekeeper. “She used to give me sweets when I was a kid.”
Susan nodded. She knew that Rosita’s husband, Ruben, was a retired ranch hand, a man who’d worked with Ethan’s dad. “How’s your father doing these days?” she asked, assuming he’d retired, as well.
Ethan’s easy manner faltered. “Dad died four months ago. I guess Ryan didn’t tell you.”
“No, he didn’t. I’m sorry.”
“Ryan’s had a lot on his mind.” He heaved a heavy sigh. “But he took it pretty hard. He and Dad were close.”
“So were you and your father,” she said, recalling the stable relationship they’d had, the respect between them. “I always envied you that.”
“It’s been tough these past few months. I really miss him.” He closed the canvas bag, shifting his gaze, changing the subject. “Why don’t you come in and see the cabin? Then we can go for a ride and eat all the wonderful food you brought.”
She followed him into the house, with Chocolate nipping at her heels. The other dogs remained outside.
The cabin consisted of one large room, a simple kitchen and a closet-size bathroom. Animal pelts and hunting trophies lined the walls. A leather couch that she assumed was a sofa bed sat adjacent to a stone fireplace, and braided area rugs padded portions of the wood floor. In the corner, a small oak table accommodated two rustic chairs.
“None of this stuff is mine,” Ethan said. “My belongings are in storage. I’m waiting for escrow to close on the gentleman’s ranch I bought.”
“Gentleman’s ranch?”
“A property with less than a hundred acres,” he explained. “Where the owner makes his living at something other than ranching.”
“Did you sell your dad’s house after he died?”
Ethan nodded. “He’d already signed the deed over to me. But I just couldn’t live there anymore. Too many memories. I figured this was a good time to start over. But the escrow dates didn’t mesh, so that’s why I’m in between homes, renting this place from Ryan.”
“I live in a condo near the wharf,” she offered.
He searched her gaze. “Do you like San Francisco?”
As a montage of overworked days and exhausted nights spun through her mind, she contemplated her answer. “I fit in there.”
He pushed his hat back a little, revealing the expression in his eyes. An emotion she couldn’t quite name.
“You’re a city girl,” he said.
“I’m dressed like a country girl today. Wranglers instead of designer jeans.”
Her comment made him smile, but only for a moment. His intensity remained. She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she let the silence engulf them. Ethan had been a complicated boy, and he’d grown into a complex man. But she expected as much.
“Should we saddle the horses?” she finally asked.
“Sure.” He was still holding the food she’d prepared. “Country boys like me need to get out on the open range.”
“Sounds okay to me,” she teased. “I’ve always had a thing for you cowboy types.”
“I know.” He angled his head to look at her, to roam his gaze over her body. “Opposites attract. It’s a trick of nature. What gets us in trouble.”
Heat spiraled through her veins, making her sexually aware, reminding her of how long it had been since she’d had a lover, a man who meant something to her. But even so, Susan knew better. “We’re not in trouble.”
“Yes, we are,” he said, as he took her hand and led her outside, making her pulse pound all over again.
Three
“Just because we’re attracted to each other doesn’t mean something is going to happen,” Susan said.
Ethan eyed his companion. They stood beside the hitching post, the sun glaring above their heads, raining warmth down their backs. Whom was she trying to convince? Him or herself? “If you say so.”
“I do.” She struggled with the girth. “Nothing happened when we were kids and nothing is going to happen now.”
He took over, nudging her aside, realizing she didn’t remember how to saddle a horse. “Nothing happened because I didn’t let it.”
“And I’m not going to let it happen this time,” she said.
He shrugged, told himself it didn’t matter. “I’m okay with just being friends.”
“So am I.” She turned to look at him, to ease the tension, to create a casual vibe.
But it didn’t work. Not for Ethan. He wanted to touch her, to smooth her hair away from her cheek, to brush his mouth across hers.
Friendship had its drawbacks, he thought.
He finished saddling their horses, then packed their picnic supplies.
“What’s my mare’s name?” she asked.
“Serene.”
“That’s a calm name.”
“She’s a calm horse. But she’s lazy, too.” He patted the old Appaloosa’s neck. “Of course, she plods along just fine on trail. She’ll follow Sequoia anywhere.”
“Sequoia.” Susan studied his gelding. “That fits him. He’s nearly as big as a redwood tree. The same color, too.” She leaned against the hitching post. “We have lots of redwoods in California.”
“I’ve never been there.” He wouldn’t mind taking a trip to the Sequoia National Forest, but that was as far as his interest in California went. He couldn’t imagine himself in Susan’s neck of the woods, traipsing around San Francisco like a misplaced cowboy.
She moved closer to Serene, letting the horse get to know her. Ethan watched her fuss with the mare’s mane, combing her fingers through it. Serene seemed pleased, but he figured the Appaloosa recognized a sucker when she saw one. Susan was babying her as if she were a child.
He squinted beneath the brim of his hat. “You’re spoiling her.”
“She’s already spoiled.”
“She came that way.”
Susan stroked Serene’s nose. “Oh, that’s right. You inherited her from one of your clients.” She bumped his shoulder, teasing him. “And now you’re stuck with her.”
“She needed a home. And Sequoia bonded with her.” He bumped Susan’s shoulder right back. “Do you need a boost up?”
“I can handle it.” She grabbed the horn and hoisted herself onto the mare’s back, the saddle creaking beneath her butt.
Ethan adjusted her stirrups. “How’s that?”
“Good.” She pushed her heels down. “I’m glad you invited me on a date. It’s nice to spend some time with you.”
“I think so, too.” He liked the changes in her, but he liked remembering her as she’d been, too. The girl he’d wanted to protect. The girl who’d needed someone to care.
Ready to hit the trail, he mounted his horse, wishing she’d give him a chance. He didn’t understand what harm would come from a romantic interlude, from a man and woman, two consenting adults, exploring the chemistry that had always been between them.
Chocolate wagged his tail and barked.
“You’re not coming with us,” Ethan told him.
The dog barked again, only louder this time. Then he whined and looked at Susan.
“Why can’t he come?” she asked.
“Because he’s a pest.”
“I don’t mind.”
“So you say. Just wait.”
“We can’t leave him here. Not like that.” By now, the Lab was practically pleading, howling like the con artist he was.
Most veterinarians owned animals that behaved. But not Ethan. He adopted every stubborn creature that came his way. “He’s going to try to mooch off our plates.”
“I’ll fix him his own plate.”
“That won’t pacify him, but I’m game if you are.” He started down the trail. Susan took the spot next to him, with Chocolate padding confidently beside her.
They rode on a sun-dappled path, their horses moving at a relaxed pace. The sky was the color of a robin’s egg, and the ground offered shades of brown and green. Most of the area was flat and clear, but in the distance, live oaks dotted the terrain like Texas-bred sentries. Farther out, a grouping of hills made a regal statement. Ethan loved this land. To him, it represented God’s country, a place where the world stopped to sigh.
Rabbits darted past, making Chocolate perk his ears. But the dog didn’t leave Susan’s side.
They headed for the live oaks, where they decided to have their picnic.
The path they traveled narrowed, so Susan fell into step behind Ethan. He could hear Serene’s footsteps as she picked her way through the brush.
Once they reached the oaks, the trail opened onto a grassy slope. “How’s this?” Ethan asked, stopping beneath an enormous tree, where branches reached across the sky.
“It’s perfect.”
After they dismounted, he tended to the horses and she spread a blanket on the ground, smoothing it over the bumpy surface.
Chocolate danced in canine delight, sniffing the air in anticipation, waiting for the foodfest to begin.
Susan looked up at Ethan. “Did you raise him from a pup?”
He glanced at the dog and the silly beast had the gall to grin. “No. I’ve only had him about six months. He was homeless and hanging out behind Red, the Mexican restaurant in town, begging for burritos and what-not. The owner felt bad for him, but he was making a nuisance of himself, barking at the back door all the time. My girlfriend, Amber, was a waitress there, so she brought him to me.”
She patted the pooch’s head. “And you had no choice but to keep him?”
“Amber wanted him, but Chocolate was too rambunctious around her son.”
She unpacked their lunch. “Your old girlfriend has a child?”
He nodded. “A two-year-old. Truthfully, I miss her little boy more than her. But she reunited with his father, so they’re trying to make a stable home for him.” He stretched his legs and saw how frayed his jeans were. Susan’s, he noticed, were brand spanking new. “It’s what she wanted all along. I was her rebound, but I knew that from the beginning.”
“No love lost on your part?”
“No. How about you?”
“I’ve been in two serious relationships, but my career got in the way both times.” Her voice turned analytical. “I have a difficult time balancing my work and my love life.”
Ethan thought about his mom, then quickly brushed her aside. He didn’t want Susan to know that his mother had chosen her career over her family. Or that his dad had never gotten over her. “I’d like to have a wife and kids someday, but I don’t let it consume me. I’m used to being single.”
“Me, too. But it gets lonely sometimes.”
“Yeah, but it’s better than a crappy marriage.”
“Amen to that.” She fed the dog first, a lunch that he gobbled up in record time, nudging her for more. She obliged, then gave him an apple to play with while she and Ethan filled their paper plates with chicken, fruit and potato salad, keeping the cookies packed and out of Chocolate’s reach.
All too soon, the dog got bored with the apple and begged off Susan’s plate, just like Ethan knew he would. He’d been trying to break Chocolate of that habit, but he didn’t have the heart to scold him. The mutt had forged a cozy spot for himself, resting his head in her lap.
“You’re a bottomless pit.” She fed Chocolate more chicken, and he licked his chops.
“I can hardly blame him,” Ethan said. “This is good.”
“Thank you.” She smiled, making him envy the dog.
She looked pretty in the afternoon light, with her honey-colored hair and green eyes. Chic and sophisticated, even in jeans and boots and her lipstick wearing off.
He glanced at her mouth and wondered if she would let him kiss her when their date ended. Or would that be crossing the friendship line?
“Our timing is off,” he heard himself say.
“Why? Because I don’t sleep around anymore?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” He removed bottled water from the saddlebag and took a swig. “I’m impressed with the way you grew up, but I miss you having a crush on me.”
She set her half-empty plate on the blanket. Chocolate was no longer interested in her food. He’d fallen asleep in her lap. “It wasn’t a healthy crush. Nothing I did then was healthy.”
Ethan drank more water, but he wasn’t able to cool his heels. “So now you’re tempering your feelings for me?”
“I can’t go back in time. I can’t become the old Susan, the girl who acted out her pain.”
He longed to touch her, to glide his fingers along her jaw, to comfort the girl she used to be. “I don’t want to go back in time, either. Can’t we separate the past from the present? Start over somehow?”
“I don’t know. Can we? I’ll bet you haven’t forgotten any of those rumors. I’ll bet they’re still occupying your mind.”
“Can you blame me?” He looked up and saw a hawk dive from a tree branch and sail into the air, like a red-tipped angel taking flight. “You were so sweet, so vulnerable, but you were wild, too. It drove me crazy.”
“I was trying to fill the void inside me. The emptiness that wouldn’t go away.”
“I knew you were mixed-up, and I wanted to make everything better. But I didn’t know how.”
She released a deep, emotional breath, stirring the dog, making him open his eyes for a second. “It wasn’t your job to fix me.”
Maybe not, but he was paying the price now. She’d fixed herself, and he was left with nothing but his memories. “I wanted to pound the crap out of every boy who touched you,” he said. “But there were too many names being bandied around. I never knew what to believe.”
“I didn’t have as many lovers as everyone said. The rumors got blown out of proportion.”
“I was so damn jealous, especially when I heard that you were helping some of those guys lose their virginity.”
A mild breeze rustled the leaves above their heads, intensifying the moment. He couldn’t help it. He was still jealous, still primed for a war party. But he knew she wasn’t going to name names.
“There was only one boy who was a virgin,” she finally said. “But at the time, so was I.”
Ethan frowned. “Then how did that rumor get started?”
“Because I pretended that I’d done it before. He was really drunk, so he didn’t know the difference.” She bit the inside of her lip, as if the experience was still raw. “I knew he would talk about it afterward, and I wanted you to find out.”
A lump formed in his throat. “Why? So I’d say ‘to hell with it’ and lose my virginity to you, too?”
She nodded. “It was the only thing I could think of to get your attention. Nothing else was working.”
“I’m sorry, Susan.”
“It wasn’t your fault. It was me. I did it to myself.”
And she’d kept doing it, he thought. She’d kept flaunting other guys in front of him.
Silent, he finished his food and set his plate next to hers, trying to maintain his composure, to ease the sudden tension, the confession in her eyes, the ache in his chest.
“Don’t feel guilty, Ethan. Sleeping with that boy didn’t change who I was. I’d already been messing around before I came to Red Rock.” She gnawed on the inside of her lip again. “Sneaking out of the house, drinking with my friends, learning how to give oral sex.”
“I wasn’t running wild,” he admitted. “But I had a girlfriend before I met you, and we used to engage in some serious foreplay. We just didn’t go all the way.”
She managed a smile. “And here I thought you were a Boy Scout. Proper Ethan.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, you were full of surprises, too. You hardly ever studied, but you got amazing grades. Like a computer nerd or something.”
“Being an honor-roll student was easy for me. But being smart wasn’t what I was after. Not until I straightened up my life and went off to college.”
“Stanford,” he said, then let out a low whistle. “You can’t beat that.”
“Ryan paid for it. I owe him my education.”
Ethan had attended Texas A&M, and he’d been strapped with student loans, debts he’d finally paid off. “I tried not to think about you over the years, but I always wondered how you were.”
She stroked the top of Chocolate’s head, making the big dopey dog sigh in his sleep. “Me, too. Every so often, I’d ask Ryan about you. But I didn’t want to overdo it.”
“And now here we are. On our first date.” He packed up the picnic supplies. “I guess it wasn’t as casual as I promised.”
She looked around. “The atmosphere was casual.”
“But not the conversation.”
“Friends should be candid with each other. I’m glad we talked about it.”
He raised his eyebrows at her. “You wanna tell my libido that?”
She shrugged, laughed, made a silly face at him. “You’ll get over it. Besides, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“That’s absence, smarty.” And his heart was already fond of her. Or was that his hormones? At this point, he couldn’t be sure.
She woke up the dog and they rode back to the hunting cabin, silence humming between them. Once they arrived, he unsaddled the horses and she offered to let him keep the leftovers, including the untouched cookies.
As she prepared to leave, he debated his options. He knew a kiss was out of the question, but he wasn’t about to settle for a handshake.
He opted for a hug, taking an awkward step toward her, like a teenage boy who was about to trip over his own feet. When he took her in his arms, she put her head on his shoulder.
He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled the faded scent of her shampoo. It was lemon, just like when they were young.
She stepped back and smiled at him, but her eyes were a little glassy. He wondered if the contact had made her warm.
“I’ll guess we’ll see each other around,” she said.
He tried to seem unaffected. “Sure. Anytime.”
She walked toward the SUV, and Chocolate trotted after her.
“You can’t go home with her,” Ethan told the dog.
Chocolate ignored the warning. When Susan opened the driver side, he muscled past her and leaped inside. Then he scooted over, waiting for her to get behind the wheel.
She stood beside the vehicle and laughed. “I guess he made up his mind.”
Ethan shook his head. “I’ll drag his butt out of there.”
“No, it’s okay. He can stay with me for a while. I’m sure Ryan and Lily won’t mind.”
“He’ll want to sleep in your bed. But he won’t keep you warm. He’ll hog the covers.”
“With all that fur? I’ll take my chances.” She climbed into the SUV, started the engine and rolled down the windows. Chocolate curled up on the seat.
Ethan figured there was no point in pushing the issue. If she was willing to babysit his dog, there wasn’t much he could do. “Call me if he gives you any trouble. Ryan has my number.”
“Thank you. I will.”
Her gaze caught his and they stared at each other through the passenger window. Then Chocolate popped up and stuck his head in the way, gloating, no doubt, that he’d gotten the girl.
The one Ethan kept losing.
After watching the eleven o’clock news, Susan curled up with Chocolate. A light burned beside the bed, illuminating the room, casting a white sheen over the book in her hand.
The Lab burrowed deeper beside her. He was more than a blanket hog. His body was pressed so close to hers, he could have been her conjoined twin.
“I can’t concentrate,” she told him as she closed the novel and placed it on the nightstand.
She couldn’t quit thinking about Ethan.
The dog yawned, and she scratched his ears, wondering if his master was in bed. Which wasn’t a good sign. If her mind strayed too far in that direction, she would start obsessing about Ethan, letting him consume her, as he did when they were young.
No, she thought. She hadn’t earned a Ph.D. in psychology to become her own patient all over again. Been there, done that, she told herself.
Then why not analyze Ethan instead? That wasn’t the same as obsessing about him, and she had every right to figure out what he was up to.
Why did he want to sleep with her so badly, especially after dodging her teenage advances? Was it a hard-hitting sexual conquest? A man thinking with his penis? A guy who wished he’d nailed the bad girl all those years ago?
On a primal level, that was a definite possibility, something an adult male might consider. But for an elusive boy who’d wanted to make everything better, to heal her rebellious heart, it seemed out of character.
So maybe he was trying to bandage those old wounds. Not consciously, but deep down, where it counted. Where he’d needed her as much as she’d needed him.
But how could she be sure? Ethan had always kept his feelings to himself. Unlike her, who’d rammed her emotions down everyone else’s throats.
A light knock sounded at the door, and Chocolate lifted his head, his sleepy eyes going wide.
“It’s me,” Lily said through the wood.
“Come in,” Susan told her.
The older woman entered, then smiled at the dog, who thumped his tail in a friendly greeting. “I see your companion found a cozy spot.”
“More than cozy.” Susan scratched his ears again. “He’s glued to my side.”
“I think Ryan half expected you to bring Ethan home instead.”
“I would have.” She gave Lily a teasing grin. “If I hadn’t changed my wicked ways.”
Lily chuckled, then sat in a bentwood rocker that creaked with age. She placed her hands on the curved wood and set the chair into a soft, gliding motion. She wore a cotton nightgown and a chenille robe. Her thick hair was fastened into a single braid.
“Is Ryan asleep?” Susan asked.
“He drifted off hours ago, but I can’t seem to settle in.”
“Too much on your mind?”
“Ryan keeps telling me that he won’t let Jason Jamison hurt anyone in our family, but I can’t help but worry. Ryan is ill, and there’s a madman threatening us. There’s only so much I can take.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.” Susan moved to the edge of the bed, closer to Lily. “I think Ryan is just as worried as you are, but he’s trying to remain strong.”
“To prove that he can protect us? Even though he’s dying?”
Susan nodded. She’d seen the determination on Ryan’s face, and she knew how often he consulted his security team. “I wonder when the FBI agent will contact you. When he’ll uncover Jason’s whereabouts.”
“Soon, I hope. That’s what’s so creepy. Just knowing Jason is out there.” She rubbed her arms, even though she was wrapped in a robe. “Maybe I would feel safer if Ryan wasn’t ill. Maybe that’s why I’m having such a hard time with this. I’m losing my rock, my stability.”
“You haven’t lost him yet, Lily. He’s still here, asleep down the hall.”
The older woman blinked away the tears that gathered in her eyes. “You’re right.” She let out a deep sigh. “I love him so much.”
“And he loves you.”
“Yes, he does. And that’s the most comforting feeling in the world.” She stood, smiled at Susan and Chocolate. “Thank you. It helps to talk.”
“For me, too.” She came to her feet and gave Lily a hug. The dog climbed off the bed and tried to nuzzle his way between them, wanting to be part of the embrace.
They stepped back and laughed, giving in to the moment, to the humor the Lab provided.
“He doesn’t seem like a stray,” Lily said.
“Ethan spoils him. He pretends not to, but he does.”
Lily looked up at her. “I can hardly blame him. You better hang on to that one.”
But after Lily said good-night and left the room, Susan wasn’t sure who “that one” was.
Chocolate. Or the man who’d rescued him.
Four
In the morning Susan took Chocolate for a walk down by the barn. She told herself it wasn’t a ploy to see if Ethan was around. She had no idea if Ethan was even working on the Double Crown today. He had other clients, other ranches that paid for his services.
But even so, she scanned the distance, wondering if he was working with the cattle, the animals that looked like irregular-shape dots grazing on the vast Texas land.
Not that it mattered if he was out there somewhere, restraining cows in a chute. She wasn’t searching for Ethan, she reminded herself. She was simply taking his dog out to play.
And play Chocolate did. He ran all over the place, disappearing from sight, then returning with sticks and rocks and other makeshift toys in his mouth.
At her feet he dropped a soda can he’d found, then took off again. He hadn’t gotten the concept of fetch. He didn’t wait around for her to throw his prizes so he could retrieve them. Not that she would toss an aluminum can. She picked it up, intending to throw it away, wondering who’d littered the ranch. She couldn’t imagine any of Ryan’s employees being that disrespectful, but someone had discarded it.
She heard Chocolate barking and hoped he wasn’t getting into any trouble. It appeared to be a playful sound, but he might be bugging one of the ranch hands.
Susan followed the bark and found him behind an outbuilding, along with a teenage girl who sat on the ground, puffing on a cigarette. She looked at Susan without saying a word.
Déjà vu hit her hard and quick.
She saw a reflection of her former self. Not in the girl’s appearance, but in the unaffected stare. Susan never flinched when strangers used to catch her smoking, but she remembered how her heart would pound, how she would pray that her dad wouldn’t find out.
“Do you know if there’s a trash can nearby?” she asked, keeping her tone easy. She wanted to get her point across without backing the child into a corner. She suspected the littered can had come from her.
The teenager shrugged. She wore a nondescript T-shirt, tomboyish jeans and tennis shoes. Strands of wavy brown hair escaped from a simple ponytail. A sprinkling of freckles across her upturned nose gave her face a pixielike quality and so did her petite frame. She appeared to be about fourteen or fifteen. Beside her was a blue-and-yellow backpack.
“Maybe in the barn?” Susan said, referring to the trash can again.
The teen’s brown eyes barely blinked. “I suppose.”
“I guess I’ll throw this away later.” For now she decided to introduce herself. “I’m Susan Fortune, Ryan and Lily’s cousin. And he’s Chocolate,” she added as the dog sniffed the girl’s jeans.
“I know who he is. The vet’s pesky dog.”
Susan couldn’t help but smile. “He means well. What’s your name?”
“Cathy.”
She sat down in the dirt, close enough to make direct eye contact, but not close enough to invade the girl’s space. “How well do you know Ethan?”
“My mom used to babysit for his girlfriend’s kid when they went out.” Cathy squinted at her. “Are you his new girlfriend?”
“No. We’re just friends. We knew each other when we were young.”
“You kind of look like Amber.”
“Really?” Susan recognized the name of Ethan’s ex. “How so?”
“I don’t know. You just do.” A strong pull on the cigarette filled her lungs. “Except she’s prettier than you.”
Ouch, Susan thought. This kid knew how to pack a punch. It made her wonder what or whom Cathy was lashing out at. “Do you go to school around here?”
“Where else would I go? I live on the ranch.”
“You’re a long way from the bus stop. Shouldn’t you get going?” Susan decided to up the ante, to use a little friendly force. “Or are you planning to ditch?”
“I was just getting ready to leave.” Cathy stood, stamped out her cigarette and left it on the ground. Then she grabbed her backpack and took off, disappearing around the corner of the building.
Chocolate barked, and Susan sighed and went after the cigarette butt, dropping it inside the empty can. She had enough problems to contend with; she didn’t need to worry about one more trying-to-be-tough teen. The world was filled with rebellious youths, and she couldn’t help them all.
But Cathy lived on the Double Crown and that made Susan think that fate had intervened. That she should explore Cathy’s situation, at least ask Ethan about her.
Susan waited until dusk to show up at Ethan’s door. He answered her knock with his hair damp and his chest bare. A pair of jeans rode haphazardly on his hips.
He’d just taken a shower, she realized. And climbed into his pants. His fly wasn’t open, but several teeth on his zipper were exposed, drawing her gaze below his belly button.
“Are you here to return my dog?”
“What? No.” She looked up and felt her cheeks sting with bad-girl heat. She shouldn’t be examining him like a side of beef. “Chocolate is with Ryan and Lily.”
He glanced over her shoulder. “Are you sure he didn’t follow you?”
“I’m sure. He was napping when I left the house.” Her gaze strayed again. Faded denim, the waistband of his boxers peeking out. She wanted to touch him, to put her hands where they didn’t belong.
She meant to tell him that she’d stopped by to ask him about Cathy, but suddenly she couldn’t think beyond his body, beyond his half-naked appeal.
He gestured for her to enter the cabin. She walked inside and took a deep breath.
When he closed the door, she noticed a tattoo on his shoulder. Two horseshoes and a star branding his flesh. “When did you do that?”
He turned to face her. “Do what?”
“The ink.”
“Five years ago. For luck, when I turned thirty.” He gave her a half-cocked smile. “I’ll probably do it again when I turn forty.”
“On the other shoulder?”
“I haven’t decided.” He grabbed a shirt that was draped over the sofa. “Do you have any hidden artwork I should know about?”
“Like a pirate ship on my chest? No, I can’t say that I do.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of a rose on your thigh.” He slipped on the shirt, but didn’t button it. A grin slid across his face. “Or maybe a butterfly on your sweet little—”
She raised her eyebrows at him. Ethan Eldridge had turned into a dark and daring man. “You missed your chance to see my butt.”
“Don’t remind me how stupid I was.” He paused and his expression turned serious. “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?”
The change of topic threw her off-kilter. She blinked, reminding herself that she’d arrived at his house to ask him about Cathy.
“We can go to Red,” he said.
Red? The restaurant where his ex-girlfriend worked? “When?”
“In a few minutes. I just have to finish getting dressed.”
“Sounds good. I haven’t eaten yet.” She decided she would ask him about Cathy over dinner. And maybe, if Amber was working, she would get a glimpse of the woman she supposedly resembled.
Even if Amber was prettier.
She sat on the sofa while Ethan got ready. He buttoned his shirt in front of her, but turned his back to unzip his jeans and tuck in his shirttail. A belt came next. She could hear the clank of the buckle.
She didn’t think he was as modest as he seemed. He’d probably done it out of respect to her.
Finally, he walked over to an oak armoire and removed a pair of socks from the single drawer. The cabin didn’t have a bedroom, and she shifted on the sofa, realizing she was sitting on his bed.
He reached for his boots and sat next to her, pulling them on. His dark brown hair, she noticed, had yet to dry. He wore it short and just a little messy. His temples bore fine threads of gray, barely visible, but still a testament of time, of the years that had passed.
“Don’t wear a hat,” she said.
He made a face. “Why not?”
“I like how you look without it.” And she didn’t want him to hide beneath the brim.
He ran a hand through his hair, trying, it seemed, to tame it. But his finger combing didn’t make much of a difference. “I feel naked.”
But he wasn’t, she thought. He was fully clothed now. “I heard that hats make men go bald.”
“Then I’d really be naked.” He gave his Stetson or Resistol or whatever it was a longing glance. “This bites.”
She smiled, knowing she’d won. “Maybe I’ll kiss you tonight.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Really?”
“On the cheek.”
“Tease.” He stood and offered to help her up.
She accepted his hand and his sense of humor. His eyes were twinkling, as blue as the sea, as the sky, as every poetic description she could think of.
A moment later, they took his truck and left for the restaurant in companionable silence.
Red was a converted two-story hacienda brimming with charm. The first floor served as the eatery, with dark wood tables and terra-cotta tiles. Leafy plants and dim lighting offered a cozy atmosphere.
Susan and Ethan sat at a candle-steeped table, and from her vantage point, Susan could see the courtyard where paper lanterns were strung, like leftover holiday lights bouncing off red umbrellas.
The waitress, a friendly brunette, brought them their menus, took their drink orders and departed with a swish of her flouncing uniform. Susan glanced around. Amber, she assumed, was blond.
“The combination platters are really good,” Ethan said.
Susan quit scouting the room and scanned the menu instead. Not a blonde in sight. “Everything looks good.”
“Yeah. I’m starving.” After a busboy delivered their drinks and placed a basket of chips and a bowl of salsa on the table, Ethan dived into them. “I eat out a lot. It’s a hassle to cook for myself.”
“For me, too.” She pondered over a beef burrito or a chicken enchilada, then gave in to her curiosity. “Did you meet Amber here?”
“Yep.” He said it casually, reaching for another chip. “She was separated from her husband and going through a rough time.”
“And you helped her?”
“Oh, sure.” He laughed a little. “I helped her come to the conclusion that she was still in love with her husband.”
Susan dipped into the salsa, waking up her taste buds. “I guess she isn’t working tonight.”
“Not tonight or any other night. She doesn’t work here anymore.” He frowned at her. “Did you think I picked this place because of her? I don’t play those kinds of games.”
“I didn’t see it as a game. Besides, I heard that we look alike.”
“Who? You and Amber?” He sat back in his chair, the frown digging deeper into his skin. “Who told you that?”
“Cathy.”
“Cathy?”
“The teenager whose mom used to babysit Amber’s son.”
“Oh, that Cathy. The kid who sneaks cigarettes. I’ll bet she got to you.”
“Yes, she did. In fact, she’s the reason I came to see you. But first I want to know if what she said is true.”
He gave her a point-blank stare. “Why? Is it some sort of crime for me to sleep with petite blondes?”
“So we do look alike.”
“Not enough to mix you up. And I didn’t even recognize you when I first saw you.”
Which meant that Amber looked more like the way she used to look. Longer hair, darker makeup, sexier clothes. “It could be a Freudian crime.”
He broke into a smile. “Then you should cure me. Take me to bed or something.”
“Nice try.” She smiled, too, but her pulse was tripping like an acid-dropping hippie. Even the flame on the candle was jumping.
The waitress came by to take their food order. Suddenly Susan was glad the other woman was a brunette. It was foolish to feel that way, but she couldn’t help it. She was getting territorial about Ethan.
By the time their meals arrived, she almost convinced herself that she should sleep with him. Almost. But somewhere in the recesses of her brain, she knew an affair would do spongy things to her heart. In spite of her teenage track record, sex had never been casual. For Susan, it came with a price. An emotional price, where attachments were formed, where she needed her partners to care, even the boys who’d passed her around like candy.
She watched Ethan attack his combination platter. He mixed up his food, the chili rellenos and tamales that sat beside hearty helpings of rice and beans.
“Why didn’t you kiss me when we were young?” she asked, her thoughts mired in the past. “I knew you wanted to. I could feel it every time we were together.”
He nearly dropped his fork. “What kind of question is that?”
“An honest one.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you. To become part of your pain.”
“But the way you looked at me gave me false hope.”
“Okay, fine.” He frowned, steadied his fork. “You want the whole truth? I wanted to heal you, to sweep you into my world and make you mine. But the idea of losing you scared me. I knew you wouldn’t stay in Texas.”
Her breath went still; her mind went into its Ph.D. mode. “Who abandoned you, Ethan? Who was I representing?”
“No one. Christ Almighty.” He cursed under his breath, then looked up, apologizing, it seemed, to the Man above. “Does everything we do have to be dissected? Analyzed? Chewed up and spit out?”
Guilty as charged, she thought.
“Besides,” he went on, “now that we’re older, I’ve been chasing you like a rutting bull. I think that makes us even.”
She looked into his eyes and saw his pain, the rejection she was causing. “I’m sorry. But now it’s my turn to be afraid. To be wary of an attachment.”
“Maybe I can teach you how to get over it.” He gave her a gentle smile. “Some things aren’t meant to last. Sometimes we have to take life as it comes.”
He was right. But he was wrong, too. Sometimes people had to protect their hearts. “I don’t have affairs anymore. Not without some sort of commitment.”
“Does it have to be a long-term commitment?”
“I like to hope it does. My last two relationships lasted for quite a few years. They didn’t work out, but at least I tried.”
He lifted his water and took a swig. “Mine never last. But I’m not saying that I won’t make a long-term commitment. That it won’t ever happen.”
She nodded, recalling that he wanted a wife and children someday. “Maybe you’re not as detached as you seem.”
“Detached? I’m falling at your feet, woman.”
“Because you want sex.”
“I settled for friendship, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did.” And he was turning into a darn good friend, someone she was able to confide in.
“Do you want to talk about Cathy?” he asked. “Dissect her for a while?”
“And take the pressure off of us? Sure.” She took a bite of the enchilada she’d barely touched, grateful her appetite was coming back. Cathy was the reason she’d accepted his dinner invitation. Amber, too. But she’d already grilled him about his ex. “Tell me what you know about her.”
“She’s fourteen, I think. And she’s originally from California.”
She scooted closer to the table. “Northern California?”
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Sheri WhiteFeather
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: It′s not easy living down a wild-child reputation. But Susan Fortune has never done anything the easy way. Who would have guessed she′d turn out to be a well-respected San Francisco psychologist with a knack for helping wayward teens? Not Ethan Eldridge, her secret crush who lived in Red Rock, Texas, seventeen years ago.Now back on the ranch to pay respects to ailing Ryan Fortune, Susan lets Ethan in on her little secret. However, the sexy and serious veterinarian has a surprise for her, too. Their longing was mutual. And how can he say no to a second chance with Susan? But Ethan′s heart is scarred. And if she wants to keep him, Susan′s got to prove that even rebels have to put down roots sometime.