Shotgun Marriage
Shotgun Marriage
Danica Favorite
Conveniently WedForced to wed to protect their reputations after being trapped overnight in a mine, Emma Jane and Jasper Jackson’s marriage is one in name only. Resenting the choices taken from him, Jasper’s determined not to lose his heart. But it’s not so easy to stay distanced from his new bride when a gang of bandits abducts them both.Other young women might be ecstatic to land Leadville’s wealthiest bachelor. But Emma Jane would rather have Jasper’s love than his family’s money. A true bond with her handsome husband seems impossible…until their ordeal leaves Emma Jane caring for an orphaned baby. In reach now is the one thing neither expected—the chance to turn a convenient marriage into a forever family.
Conveniently Wed
Forced to wed to protect their reputations after being trapped overnight in a mine, Emma Jane and Jasper Jackson’s marriage is one in name only. Resenting the choices taken from him, Jasper’s determined not to lose his heart. But it’s not so easy to stay distanced from his new bride when a gang of bandits abducts them both.
Other young women might be ecstatic to land Leadville’s wealthiest bachelor. But Emma Jane would rather have Jasper’s love than his family’s money. A true bond with her handsome husband seems impossible…until their ordeal leaves Emma Jane caring for an orphaned baby. In reach now is the one thing neither expected—the chance to turn a convenient marriage into a forever family.
“Why don’t I get you something to eat, and when I get back, you can tell me something you think I should know about you.”
Could Jasper see that she was offering him an olive branch? A chance to begin their marriage as it should have been? Asking him to love her was too much, Emma Jane knew that. But surely peaceful coexistence wasn’t so far out of their reach.
After what seemed like ages, Jasper’s lips turned upward into the smile that was rumored to melt every woman’s heart this side of the Divide. Emma Jane had never been one of the girls to giggle and swoon over Jasper’s famed good looks, but if he gave her many smiles like that, she could easily find herself wanting to.
“All right. Don’t put any pickles on my sandwich. Mother seems to think they’re my favorite, but I really can’t stand her pickles.” He gave her a wink, then settled back into the chair.
No pickles. The simple request seemed to be the beginning of a friendship.
DANICA FAVORITE loves the adventure of living a creative life. She loves to explore the depths of human nature and follow people on the journey to happily-ever-after. Though the journey is often bumpy, those bumps refine imperfect characters as they live the life God created them for. Oops, that just spoiled the ending of Danica’s stories. Then again, getting there is all the fun. Find her at danicafavorite.com (http://www.danicafavorite.com).
Shotgun Marriage
Danica Favorite
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
—1 Corinthians 13:4–7
For Camy Tang and Cheryl Wyatt, thanks for being such great friends, coconspirators (not that we admit to anything, of course!), and for walking this road called life with me, and all its ups and downs. I love you guys!
Contents
Cover (#u968e7bc4-011a-54d6-a099-21482e800ce5)
Back Cover Text (#u7c042f0e-3d84-515d-adbb-7e67c78ff5df)
Introduction (#u69f12d9f-7bf9-5f2f-b724-33211949a4db)
About the Author (#u4e850cc7-47b5-582d-a211-6e88163d2061)
Title Page (#u85603b0a-a22d-5393-803e-bc9145c1eade)
Bible Verse (#u10b095de-1b85-59c9-ae34-7aa7a91ed087)
Dedication (#u7184d5d9-7aca-5dfe-a6f0-ecf524d377f0)
Chapter One (#u46a84cca-6866-545c-8c35-82d71c3815a1)
Chapter Two (#u43ba795e-c927-5edd-8153-07b6d30ab591)
Chapter Three (#udd19d188-a5c4-5a6c-8c55-7c037498d4b7)
Chapter Four (#u8657425e-1819-5bee-8bb7-abb6ed56ef3f)
Chapter Five (#u764e20e8-a06b-59b3-9b01-02c6fb950a14)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_98fbb6d4-5b17-5d43-88ae-a7ccf9c3047a)
Leadville, CO, 1881
“Did you hear he spent their wedding night in a brothel...” The whispers came from one of the pews to Emma Jane Logan Jackson’s left. But as she looked in the direction of the sound, all she saw were pious young women seemingly engrossed in their Bibles.
Jasper reached over and patted her hand. “Ignore them,” he said quietly, clasping the fingers that rested in the crook of his arm and giving them a gentle squeeze. Odd to be receiving this small amount of comfort from the virtual stranger she’d just recently married. He’d barely talked to her, let alone touched her, since their wedding two weeks ago.
Ignoring the gossip was easy enough for him to say. He was Jasper Jackson, son of the richest man in Leadville. But Emma Jane? She’d spent her whole life the laughingstock of town.
Smoothing the delicate fabric of the pale blue silk dress her mother-in-law had purchased for her, Emma Jane remembered all the times she’d wished for finer clothes to wear to church. She’d been wrong in thinking a new dress would keep the other women from talking about her. Whether it had been the poorly mended hand-me-downs, her father’s drinking, her mother’s antics in trying to make their family more respectable and even Emma Jane’s own awkwardness, people always found a way to make fun of her.
All she’d ever wanted was to find respectability in the town’s eyes, but even with marriage to Leadville’s most eligible bachelor, it eluded her.
“I thought getting married was supposed to stop all the talk,” Emma Jane whispered back.
Jasper squeezed her hand again. “It will be all right. Eventually some other scandal will hit town, and they’ll forget all about the circumstances of our nuptials. Soon enough, they’ll be begging to be invited to tea because they can’t resist the Jackson fortune.”
His emphasis on the words the Jackson fortune made Emma Jane stop and look at him. Her strikingly handsome husband, with his dark good looks, seemed almost bitter, like he resented having so much wealth. Surely being well-to-do was a good thing. With her father’s rising and falling fortunes, she knew both what it was like to be in plenty and in want, and frankly, she’d much rather have the plenty.
“What do you expect from a marriage practically forced on him by a scheming...”
Emma Jane turned in the direction of the voice, but all she saw was a group of women demurely peeking behind their fans. She squared her shoulders, straightened her back and gave them all a tight little smile. The only scheming going on was among the other women and their nasty gossip.
Jasper tugged at her hand again. “It’s not worth it. They’re just jealous because they aren’t Mrs. Jasper Jackson.”
More of the bitter tone as he emphasized Mrs. Jasper Jackson.
“You seem...” Emma Jane struggled for a descriptor that might induce her reticent husband to talk to her about it.
His lips turned upward in a smile that looked to be more painful than the effort was worth. “It’s no secret that every woman in town wanted to marry me.” He snorted. “Or, at least, they wanted to marry my fortune.”
Then he looked down at her, his dark brow creasing. “I’m sorry. I know our marriage benefited your family financially. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
She couldn’t give an answer to that, even if he’d wanted her to. The truth was, her family had insisted on the marriage, more for the funds it would bring to their coffers than any cares for Emma Jane’s reputation. Her father had gambled away her sister Gracie’s hand to settle a debt, and the only way to save Gracie from marriage to the town’s most odious man had been for Emma Jane to marry into wealth. Her mother had come up with a scheme for Emma Jane to trap Jasper into marriage, but Emma Jane hadn’t been able to go through with it.
Fortunately for the Logan family, Emma Jane’s clumsiness took over where her conscience wouldn’t let her act. She’d ended up trapped overnight in a mine with Jasper. Emma Jane’s reputation at stake, marriage to Jasper was the only solution. Her family caused such a fuss that the Jacksons were glad to give them whatever funds necessary to avoid any further embarrassment. Emma Jane’s family left town shortly after the wedding, pockets full of Jasper’s money.
No wonder he was bitter.
Jasper cleared his throat. “It just would be nice, you know, if people cared about what I wanted to do with my life.”
“Forgive me,” Emma Jane said softly, pulling her hand out of his arm, then she tugged at the lace edging on the sleeve of her dress.
She hadn’t considered what their marriage had cost Jasper. Nor had she thought about what he’d wanted. Her parents had browbeat her into the marriage, and because it was what Emma Jane had always done, she’d meekly agreed.
“No, forgive me.” Jasper took her hand again and settled it back into the crook of his arm. “It was a thoughtless remark. You had as little choice in the matter as I did. Honestly, my frustration isn’t even about that. I just can’t stand the way everyone is so concerned with trivial matters.”
Now that Emma Jane could understand. “We should find our seats,” she said, tugging at her husband’s arm.
“You go on. I see the sheriff has arrived.”
Jasper’s brow furrowed, and the line between his eyes had deepened. His thick, dark hair flopped over, seeming to have ignored the way he’d slicked it back earlier this morning.
“Is everything all right?” She followed his gaze and noticed Sheriff Calhoune standing on the other side of the church.
“We’re tracking down some of the bandits who got away the night of the brothel fire. I’m hoping he has some leads. This town’s not safe with scoundrels like them on the loose.”
The brothel fire. Jasper had spent their wedding night helping their friend, Will Lawson, rescue an innocent young lady from the clutches of a gang of bandits. During the rescue, the brothel had gone up in flames, creating chaos in their community. With Jasper’s scornful words about no one caring about what he wanted, it seemed wrong to prevent him from speaking with the sheriff. Even if church was about to start.
“I’ll see you at our seat,” she said.
Jasper gave a quick nod before turning away.
Polite strangers, that’s what they were. And while part of her yearned to know more about this enigmatic man she married, she couldn’t bear to impose on him any more than she already had.
“Don’t be a bother, Emma Jane.” Her mother’s words echoed in her head. Day and night, she’d worked so hard to not be. But because of her, Jasper was in a marriage he didn’t want. How could she ask him to give more than he already had?
The sound of giggles to her right drew Emma Jane’s attention. A beautiful baby girl, with golden hair and dressed in a pretty lace dress, bounced on a woman’s lap.
“Your baby is darling,” Emma Jane said to the woman, who gave her a smile in return.
“Thank you.”
“What’s her name?”
“Hannah.”
“What a lovely name. I’m Emma Jane...” She paused at the introduction. No longer Logan, it didn’t seem right to call herself Jackson, either.
Would being married ever seem normal?
“Pleased to meet you. I’m Pamela Woodward.” The baby reached in Emma Jane’s direction. “Would you like to hold her?”
Emma Jane automatically took Hannah in her arms, breathing in the soft powdery scent. Her heart warmed as the baby immediately snuggled up to her.
Hannah pulled at the collar on Emma Jane’s dress, and Emma Jane gently took the baby’s tiny hands in hers. Such a sweet child.
Which was when it hit her. Married to Jasper, there would be no children. He’d told her, just before they were married, that theirs was to be a marriage in name only.
“If it isn’t the town harlot, stealing other women’s beaus and tricking them into marriage.” Flora Montgomery nudged Emma Jane as she passed, giving her a haughty glare, then turned to the baby’s mother. “It’s very brave of you, letting a woman like her hold your baby. But perhaps you haven’t heard...”
With the pain of not having children heavy in her mind, Emma Jane handed the baby back to her mother. “Thank you for letting me hold Hannah. She is a dear.”
She turned to leave to avoid making a scene, but Flora blocked her path.
“You haven’t heard about our dear Emma Jane, have you?”
Pamela’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve been in Denver, visiting my parents.”
“After the church picnic, we were caught in a terrible storm,” Flora said. “Jasper found shelter for us at a nearby farm. When we were supposed to be getting ready to bed down for the night, Emma Jane lured him outside, then pushed him into an abandoned mine. She jumped in, and when they were found the next morning, her dress was in tatters.”
“I did no such thing!” Emma Jane had gone for a walk to clear her head after listening to Flora’s taunts. Well, all right, she’d run out of the barn crying. But Flora had been particularly cruel, telling the other girls that Emma Jane was going to be sold into a brothel. Not that Emma Jane would ever admit to Flora how those horrible rumors had affected her. For whatever reason, Flora had always picked on Emma Jane—had done so ever since they were in school together. Though Emma Jane had often wished she knew what she’d done to offend the other girl, mostly Emma Jane wished Flora would just leave her alone.
Emma Jane straightened her shoulders. “I’d gone for a walk and fallen into an abandoned mine. I had no idea Jasper was out there. He heard my cries for help and, in trying to rescue me, fell in, too.”
She looked at Pamela, hoping she’d be sympathetic. “Truly, it was all just a terrible accident, and nothing untoward happened. Pastor Lassiter married us himself, and he would never have done so had any real harm been done.”
The woman nodded slowly. But Flora wasn’t finished yet. She gave Emma Jane a nasty smile, baring the points of her teeth before turning to the baby’s mother. “I’m sure that’s what Emma Jane would like people to believe. But Mrs. Jackson told me herself. The Logans would have ruined them. They told the sheriff that Jasper...” Flora lowered her voice. “Took liberties.”
“Jasper would never do that!” Emma Jane stared at the other girl, horrified that she would spread such vicious lies about Jasper.
“Of course he wouldn’t.” Flora’s voice lacked any kindness. “No man would even consider you in that way. You are, after all, most unfortunate in your appearance.”
The pitying look Flora gave Emma Jane made her realize that not even the finest dress would ever make her pretty. After all, Flora was the very picture of everything a woman ought to be, with her golden blond curls and bright blue eyes. Emma Jane’s hair was also blond, her eyes blue. But the blond was stringy and streaked with brown, and the girls used to tease her that it must be dirty. And her blue eyes had brown flecks in them that Flora had said came from being evil.
Even though Emma Jane knew in her head that Flora’s accusations weren’t true, it didn’t make the cold lump in the pit of her stomach go away.
Flora was right about one thing, however. She had nothing to attract a man like Jasper into wanting to be her husband.
Still, the dig on Emma Jane’s appearance was not enough for Flora, whose eyes glittered with a kind of blood lust.
“But what I don’t understand is why you went along with the lies, unless, of course, you were telling them yourself.”
A sickeningly sweet smile followed Flora’s last statement, and she turned her attention back toward Pamela. “Jasper was so disappointed about being railroaded into the marriage that he spent the night...” Flora looked around, then lowered her voice. “In a place of ill repute.”
The fact which every woman in church was still whispering about. But they didn’t have the whole story.
“He was helping Will Lawson—a lawman—rescue an innocent young lady from the clutches of an outlaw.” Emma Jane spoke louder than was polite, but hopefully some of the other gossiping women would finally hear the truth.
“So you say.” Flora flipped open her fan, then smiled at Pamela. “I just thought I’d warn you so you understood why none of the good families in Leadville are extending invitations to this woman. Bad company corrupting good character and all that.”
With a final nasty grin, Flora flounced over to her seat in a pew a few rows up. Emma Jane gave the woman they’d been talking to a weak smile. “I’m sorry you were dragged into this. I sincerely appreciate your kindness to me, and I assure you that I’ve been nothing but honest with you.”
The woman’s noncommittal murmur spoke volumes. Flora’s words had poisoned any hope Emma Jane had of even being able to delight in someone else’s child.
Then Emma Jane spotted Mrs. Jackson heading in her direction.
“Stop dawdling.” Jasper’s mother took Emma Jane by the elbow. “We are to be an example for the rest of the church, and you’re making a spectacle of yourself.”
“Yes, Mrs. Jackson.”
Face heated, she sat in the Jackson pew where Mrs. Jackson indicated, trying to enjoy the feel of the velvet cushions rather than the hard wooden benches the rest of the church endured. Mr. Jackson, Jasper’s father, leaned into Emma Jane. “Where’s Jasper?”
“He went to talk to the sheriff,” she answered, further conversation being cut off by the sound of the organ’s first chords.
After the hymns, Pastor Lassiter spoke, sharing the need for the church community to continue to rally around the women who’d been displaced in the brothel fire. While some of the women had moved on to other houses of ill repute, many had nowhere else to go.
Emma Jane tried to focus her attention back on the pastor’s sermon, but she found herself unable to think beyond the poor women who’d been left homeless. Like Emma Jane, they were deemed unworthy and unlovable by the rest of society.
And yet, not one of them judged Emma Jane for the disgraced circumstances of being forced to marry. They all treated Emma Jane like she was a real lady, worthy of respect. Emma Jane had even become friends with a colorful woman named Nancy.
Emma Jane twisted around to see if Nancy had shown up at the church yet. The so-called fallen women often arrived after the service started, leaving before it ended to avoid ridicule.
Marriage hadn’t brought Emma Jane any closer to finding respectability, but perhaps helping with the pastor’s ministry, people would finally see her as a good Christian woman. Maybe then she would finally have the acceptance that had eluded her for most of her life.
* * *
Jasper Jackson stood at the back of the church, listening as Pastor Lassiter concluded his sermon. He hadn’t intended to miss church, but he’d been caught up in talking to the sheriff to figure out their next move.
The newly acquired badge heavy in his pocket, Jasper couldn’t help but touch it one more time. Him. A deputy. All his life, he’d wanted to do something important, but every time he tried to find his significance, his mother cited the need to carry on the Jackson legacy. She’d sob and tell him she’d been lucky to have even him, and he couldn’t spoil it by...well, she’d have a fit of vapors for sure when he shared his news.
But this time, he would not be swayed.
A woman had died saving Jasper’s life the night of the brothel fire. In the heat of an argument with the bandits, Jasper had acted foolishly, and the bandits started firing on them. Mel pushed him out of the way, getting shot in the process. Mel. A woman of the night. Not the kind of woman a man owed any kind of honor to, but she’d done the most honorable thing a person could do—she’d taken a bullet meant for him. He’d promised Mel that he’d find and rescue her sister, Daisy, from the gang of bandits that held her. The same gang who’d killed Mel.
No, his honor wasn’t at stake. It was his very soul. Or at least it felt that way as church let out and his new bride, Emma Jane, approached, her delicate features unmarred by the thoughts that plagued him. He had to admit that she was a lovely woman. He’d done the honorable thing by marrying her, but until he completed his mission in keeping his promise to Mel, he would have no peace in his own heart.
“Hello, Jasper.” Emma Jane gave him a weak smile. “Your mother—”
“There you are!” Before Emma Jane could finish her sentence, his mother stepped in between them. “Why didn’t you sit with us?”
Jasper cringed. The Jacksons weren’t typically confrontational, especially in public. But the only way he was going to be able to share his decision without encountering hysterics was to do it now.
“The sheriff was here, so I went to talk to him about the latest news on the bandits. I thought it would be a few days, but he decided to swear me in as a deputy today.”
He never imagined that Emma Jane Logan’s face would be the one to keep him calm. Until he realized that she wasn’t Emma Jane Logan anymore. Jasper exhaled slowly, trying to let go of the inevitable tightness in his chest that always seemed to come at the reminder of his marriage. At least she didn’t appear to be standing in the way of the one decision he’d gotten to make about his own life.
Of course, Emma Jane had what she wanted—his name and fortune. Though she’d insisted that the events leading to their marriage were not intentional, he couldn’t forget the sound of her mother congratulating her on a job well-done. The woman had practically cackled with glee as she’d told Emma Jane that luring him to the abandoned mine had been masterful.
Marriage to Emma Jane would have been a whole lot easier had he continued to believe it was all an accident. He’d even thought, in their time at the church picnic, they’d become friends. But friends trusted each other, and Emma Jane should have trusted him when he’d told her that he’d find a way to save her family without her having to get married. Perhaps, in supporting his cause, Emma Jane could make up for taking away one of the most important choices a man had in life.
A stolen glance at his parents revealed they’d both turned odd shades of red—to be expected, of course—but part of him wished they’d have come forward to say they were proud of him.
No, it was Emma Jane who first spoke up.
“After everything that happened with the brothel burning down, I can understand your desire to bring justice.” She gave a small smile. “I’ve been thinking I should do more to help Pastor Lassiter’s ministry to the women rescued from the fire.”
Her words shouldn’t have surprised him. After all, aiding the less fortunate was what their church was about. Or, at least, that’s what people said their church was about. He’d seen many of the young ladies pay lip service to helping others, but none ever seemed to put those words into action. Except Emma Jane. He didn’t know her well, yet he could remember seeing her a number of times at other church events, helping out.
“Nonsense,” his mother snapped. “We’ll give the pastor some money, just as we always do, and that will be that.”
Then she turned her attention to Jasper. “I hardly know what’s gotten into you. Your unfortunate marriage, chasing bandits—I can’t imagine what you’ll do next.”
He recoiled at his mother’s description of his marriage. Especially when he noticed the pained look on Emma Jane’s face. Why he was so concerned about his young wife’s feelings, he didn’t know, especially when the larger issue at stake was his ability to follow his dreams. No, his mission was bigger than a dream. Innocent lives were at stake.
Ignoring his mother, Jasper turned to his father. “I am alive today because of the noble sacrifice of a woman who only wanted her sister to be saved. If I don’t help bring these men to justice, who will? If I continue to live with no other purpose than to entertain Mother’s guests, then really, what was the point of a woman dying in my place?”
Then, taking another deep breath to dispel the inevitable lump that filled his throat when talking about Emma Jane, Jasper addressed his mother. “It would do you credit to remember that if it hadn’t been for Emma Jane pushing me out of the way of the mine caving in, I’d be dead. She put her safety in jeopardy for mine, and I will always be grateful.”
His life had been saved twice in a matter of weeks. By women. Perhaps, as much as he reminded his mother of his debt to Emma Jane, he needed to remind himself of it, as well. She risked her life for him. If marriage was the price he’d had to pay, so be it.
“Regardless of what happened in that mine, we both know you’d have had to have married her, anyway,” Constance snapped.
Jasper swallowed. True, of course, but Emma Jane’s sacrifice had somehow made his own more palatable. Even if the mine hadn’t caved in, they would have both been gone long enough that their returning together—after being out alone in the pitch-dark—would have caused tongues to wag. But once they’d been trapped in the mine, marriage had been a foregone conclusion.
And as he watched Emma Jane’s lower lip quiver, he couldn’t help but wonder how much she regretted the cost of their marriage.
“What’s done is done,” Jasper said quietly, looking at Emma Jane. “And it’s time we made the best of it.”
His words didn’t erase the sadness from her eyes, and while Jasper wished there was something else to be done, he knew that the distance between them wasn’t going to be bridged by a few words.
As grateful as he was for Emma Jane saving his life, the sting of her betrayal was still too deep, the pain too fresh. When she’d approached him at the church picnic and told him that her mother wanted her to marry him to restore the money her father had lost in a poker game, he told her that he’d help her find a solution that didn’t involve marriage. Emma Jane had said she was willing to trust him. But she’d lured him out to the abandoned mine, anyway. Obviously, she’d heard him say he needed to go clear his head, and gone out on her own. Of course he’d answer her cries for help. She couldn’t have known how dangerous it would be, or that the rains would have weakened the ground to cause a cave-in. He wasn’t even sure that she’d known the mine was there.
Regardless, Emma Jane had to have known that being alone with him, outside in the dark, was enough to compromise them both. For that, he blamed her.
So why, as tears shone in Emma Jane’s eyes, could he not bring himself to hate her?
Maybe it was because, as he had just told his mother, they couldn’t do anything about the past. All they could do was move on. Jasper was trying, he really was, and maybe someday he could hold more firmly to his resolve to look ahead rather than be afflicted by questions he would probably never find answers to.
“We should take this conversation somewhere more private,” Jasper’s father said, gesturing toward Pastor Lassiter’s empty office.
Jasper looked around, realizing for the first time that while many of the churchgoers had exited, there were still enough people milling around that seeking privacy was a wise decision. He followed his father into the pastor’s office, waiting until his mother and Emma Jane had entered the room before closing the door behind them. Pastor Lassiter wouldn’t mind if they used his office while he was busy conversing with folks leaving the church.
“I meant what I said about making the best of our marriage,” Jasper said slowly as he moved toward Emma Jane, stepping in between her and his mother. “But you have to understand that my mission to save Daisy takes precedence right now. Her life is in danger, and every moment that I spend here is a moment closer to her demise.”
Emotions he didn’t understand flickered across Emma Jane’s face as she straightened her shoulders and nodded. “You have my full support.”
Then she hesitated, looking down at her Bible, as if she were hoping it would... Jasper shook his head. What could the Bible do for her? It wasn’t going to save anyone’s life.
Emma Jane sighed and looked up at him. “But... I’m tired of pretending that the whispers don’t bother me. I’m tired of people thinking I’ve driven you away. I...”
“I’m sorry you’re bothered by all the talk.” Jasper cut her off, trying not to sound cold, but what else was he supposed to say? Everyone thought that being a Jackson was a wonderful thing, but all it did was put you in the limelight, where everyone always had something to say about your life. And by something, it never meant anything good.
Jasper took a step back. He’d intended for their marriage to ease Emma Jane’s problems, not make them worse. The only reason he’d married her was because after being alone together overnight, her reputation would be ruined, and no decent man would have her. Apparently, their marriage hadn’t had the desired effect.
“I’m sorry, Emma Jane.” He held out his hand to her, then captured her gaze, ignoring his mother’s indrawn breath. How had he never noticed before that Emma Jane’s eyes were such an exquisite shade of blue, with little flecks of brown dancing within?
“I’d hoped that our marriage would be enough to keep people from talking.” He looked back at the ground, unable to face the way her wide-eyed expression asked questions of him he wasn’t ready to answer.
“I don’t know what to do about it right now. Even if I stay, people are going to find something to talk about.”
He sent a glare in his mother’s direction. “The best thing for Emma Jane right now is for everyone to stand beside her in my absence. You can support me, thereby supporting her, or...”
Or what? Jasper let out a long, frustrated sigh. His mother would do exactly as she pleased, which didn’t do anything to help Emma Jane. Leaving him trapped in the conundrum of dealing with Emma Jane’s hurt feelings or following his calling to rescue Daisy and bring the bandits to justice.
Why did doing the right thing have to put him in such a difficult position?
“It’s all right, son.” His father stepped forward, placing one hand on Jasper’s shoulder, the other on Emma Jane’s. “Your mother and I haven’t done all we could in easing your wife’s transition into our family.”
He gave Jasper a squeeze, then moved back and addressed Emma Jane. “I apologize if we haven’t been as welcoming as we could have been. Such a hasty marriage didn’t give any of us time to properly prepare, and that’s no excuse. I’ll do what I can to address any talk.”
Jasper couldn’t help but notice his mother still remained near the door, her back stiff and unyielding, her mouth pursed tightly. There would be an argument between his parents later, and yet again, Jasper was responsible.
Why did so much have to rest on his shoulders? So many things for him to be held accountable for, and yet the one thing that mattered most—saving the life of an innocent woman—seemed to be directly at odds with it all.
He heaved another sigh, then took Emma Jane’s hands in his, wishing her hands didn’t feel like ice, like they needed him for warmth. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I just want you to talk to me,” Emma Jane said quietly. Her shoulders rose and fell. “I know ours isn’t a love match. But I at least thought we could be friends. That we were friends. Instead, I find that you have shut me out completely.”
Her words weren’t supposed to sting. All of this was her fault. They were once friends, and they could be friends still, but she had to trap him into marriage. So why was he the one who felt bad?
“I’m not sure what to talk to you about.”
“You could have told me that you were leaving our wedding reception to help Will rescue Mary’s sister Rose from the bandits. Mary knew, so why didn’t you fill me in, as well? I understand you wanted to help them. Mary and Will are my friends, too. And now, trying to bring the rest of the gang to justice and find this Daisy person? Why can’t I help?”
A whole list of reasons, starting with the fact that the only people who knew for certain that Rose had run away, and not been kidnapped, were Will, Jasper and Rose’s family. Jasper had been asked not to apprise anyone of that fact.
Fortunately, there was one equally important reason. “These are dangerous people. The only reason Mary came along that night is because she followed me. She wasn’t supposed to be there. These men are the kind to shoot first, ask questions later. I won’t have you risking your life.”
Emma Jane gave him a mournful look. One that almost made him feel bad for excluding her. But she didn’t understand how dire the situation was.
“I just want you to let me in. To talk to me like we did before our marriage.”
Jasper wanted that, too. But it seemed like there was too much at stake to waste effort on social niceties. They’d had good conversation, sure, but conversation did nothing when it came to saving lives.
“There’s no time for that. The search party is leaving soon—with or without me. Once this business is settled, then we can talk.”
The Emma Jane he’d always known was a little mouse. But when she straightened her shoulders, Emma Jane looked like a tiger.
“I can help.”
With the ferocity in her eyes, Jasper almost believed her.
“Emma Jane, you’re just a...”
He wanted to say “woman,” but the truth was, his life had been saved by two women. He had no illusions about females being the weaker sex. But against these men, a person who didn’t know how to fight, to survive and to kill if needed—that person was dead. Emma Jane could do none of those things.
“A woman who happens to be friends with the women rescued from the brothel. Women who were privy to the bandits’ secrets. So do not condescend to me about what I can and cannot do.”
She stepped aside, including his parents in the conversation. “I have tried to do what has been asked of me. But I am tired of sitting and pretending that having insult upon insult heaped upon me does not bother me. I am Mrs. Jasper Jackson, for better or for worse. And as such, I will assist my husband in bringing these bandits to justice. And when that happens, I will walk through this town with my head held high, and not a soul will dare look down upon me.”
A few tense moments ticked by. Then, with a steely look far more threatening than even his mother’s fiercest glower, Emma Jane stared directly at his mother. “Including you, Mrs. Jackson.”
Everything in him wanted to applaud Emma Jane at her words. As far as Jasper knew, no one had stood up to his mother before. At least, not with that level of vigor.
But Emma Jane was not finished, because then she turned her attention on him. “You will let me help you. If you do not include me in your plans, I will do my part, anyway. Even if it means going to the sheriff directly.”
Jasper didn’t doubt her words. No, this ferocious spitfire, a woman with whom he was entirely unacquainted, meant business. Just as Mary had snuck out and followed him to the brothel that night, he knew Emma Jane would do the same—and more.
They’d barely gotten Mary and her sister Rose out alive that night. How much more danger would Emma Jane face? It seemed an impossible choice—include Emma Jane in a potentially dangerous mission, or risk having her go behind his back and get mixed up in something potentially more precarious?
Chapter Two (#ulink_3b498dbd-d577-5d25-be21-b3615bbdbfd5)
“I need to go.” Jasper had prolonged his leaving long enough. Almost too long. He’d only meant to tell everyone of his plans, not have the impassioned discussion that ensued.
“Hopefully, this lead takes us to where the bandits are hiding. Then it will be over and all will be well. I just wanted a chance to say goodbye, you know, in case. If all goes well, I’ll be home by supper.”
Emma Jane stepped forward and gave him an awkward hug. “Stay safe.”
The rush of emotion in his chest came on harder than the force of the worst blizzard he’d endured. His wife’s hug was all warmth and completely unexpected after Emma Jane’s fervent speech about joining him.
“Promise me you won’t try to help me with this case while I’m gone. We can talk when I get back.”
He could see her hesitation as she shifted her weight and chewed on her lower lip. Those eyes looked at him in a way that made him believe that things would, in fact, be all right.
“I promise.”
He wasn’t supposed to care about Emma Jane Logan, er, Jackson. But he’d forgotten that underneath all that awkwardness lay a woman with deep compassion for others. If only she’d had compassion for the fact that he’d have liked to have chosen his own wife—a woman whom he actually loved.
In that, Jasper envied his friend, Will, falling head over heels for Mary. Their marriage would be a real marriage, full of happiness and love. What did Jasper have to look forward to?
Nights sitting by the fire and talking? That had been pleasant enough before he’d been forced to marry her. But what of the rest of their lives? And children? How were they supposed to have children when they didn’t share the kind of feelings needed for the begetting of children?
Jasper jerked away. All this time, he’d remained in Emma Jane’s embrace. How had he forgotten himself? Memories of their time trapped in the mine flooded back to him. Just before Emma Jane had shoved him out of the way of the rockslide, he’d kissed her. But then the rockslide hit, and while he’d been saved, Emma Jane’s heroism had left her with a nasty bump on the head. Jasper had considered it a sign.
Kissing Emma Jane Logan had nearly killed them both.
Now that she was Emma Jane Jackson, Jasper had no intention of repeating the experience. He had more important things to think about than romance. Even if he couldn’t get the memory of the soft press of her lips against his out of his mind.
“I should get going,” he finally said, shifting awkwardly.
His father stepped forward and gave him a tight embrace. “Stay safe, son.”
And then, almost as if his father feared the worst, he said slowly, “I can’t pretend to like what you’re doing, but I understand.”
Henry’s voice quavered slightly. “I don’t want there to be any regrets between us. So know I love you and I’m proud of you.”
Jasper should have been pleased to hear those words, but something in him ached, knowing he hadn’t yet done anything to be proud of. He exhaled roughly. He’d save the joy in hearing the words for when he knew Daisy was safe.
His mother, though, held no such sentiment. Red-eyed, she stared past him at Emma Jane.
“If he dies, I will blame you. He never had such foolish notions about chasing bandits until after he met you. And I promise, you will rue the day...”
“Enough, Constance.” His father took his mother by the arm.
After a glance at Emma Jane’s stricken face, Jasper, too, had had enough.
“None of this is Emma Jane’s fault. If you listened to me at all, you’d know that I’ve been wanting to do something meaningful with my life for a long time.”
Jasper held out a hand to Emma Jane, and she took it, her gloved fingers seeming so small in his. He’d married her to protect her, and here, with his mother’s hostility, he had to wonder for the second time today if it had done any good.
Was he wrong for trying to be more than what he was?
But could he live with himself if he didn’t? Could he continue looking himself in the mirror if he were nothing more than a dandy, taking in social entertainments but contributing nothing but gossip to society?
Squeezing Emma Jane’s hand gently, he gazed down at her. “Thank you for supporting me. I know this isn’t the marriage either of us wanted for ourselves, but I’m grateful that you’re standing by me and I promise to do the same for you.”
The tears glimmering in her eyes were unexpected, and they stirred something in his gut he hadn’t been prepared for. Was it sympathy? No, something deeper. Like maybe the friendship that had begun before he’d realized Emma Jane had set him up wasn’t completely dead.
He swallowed the rising emotion and let go of Emma Jane’s hand, turning to his mother. “Emma Jane is my wife. She is a Jackson and should be afforded every courtesy the name entails.”
Henry coughed. “Jasper is right. What’s done is done, and even if we could undo it, it would only bring more scandal to the family. We need to make the best of things.”
Jasper noticed he gave Constance a slight squeeze before letting her go. The small affection between his father and mother made him even more grateful for his father’s support.
Which made Jasper feel even worse. As difficult as his mother could be, he did love her. After all, he’d spent years playing her society games, entertaining the young ladies she deemed suitable and generally tolerating all of her misguided attempts at arranging his life. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so accommodating, then she might be more understanding of the desires of his heart.
At least his father appeared to be more understanding. He looked at Emma Jane with an expression of warmth that convinced Jasper that things would eventually work out. “Emma Jane is also right. We should be doing what we can to support Jasper. Doing everything we can to assist him will keep him much safer than if we’re working against him.”
Jasper’s father held out his hand to Jasper. “I promise not to interfere. And if there are resources I can provide, say the word, and it’s yours.”
This time, the victory felt real as Jasper shook his father’s hand. Even though Jasper could tell his mother was holding back tears. A Jackson did not cry in public, but he knew his mother would be home and in bed with a headache later, the acceptable excuse for sobbing her heart out.
He should feel bad, and part of him did, but he was used to his mother brandishing tears to manipulate people’s feelings. More important, though, were the tears that needed to be shed for a woman who had no one to cry for her.
That had to be his focus. Not guilt over everyone else’s overwrought emotions.
Jasper looked over at Emma Jane, then back at his father.
“Keep Emma Jane safe.” Then he took another deep breath. “I’m sure everything will be fine, but if something should happen to me, take care of her.”
“I will.”
Two words, as solemn as the wedding vows he’d spoken. His father would keep the promise, just as Jasper would keep his.
“I don’t need to be kept safe,” Emma Jane huffed, but her tigress look faded as his father met her eyes.
An unspoken agreement seemed to pass between them as his father turned his attention back to Jasper. “I’m going to get your mother home. I’ll let you have a private moment to say goodbye to your bride.”
His parents turned away, leaving Jasper alone with Emma Jane.
“I think we’ve said all we need to say,” Jasper stated tersely.
“I meant what I said about helping you.”
“You can’t ride out with us.”
Emma Jane nodded slowly. “I wasn’t asking to. But I’ll be talking to the women, and I will get information to assist you.”
Her plan seemed harmless enough, but that was precisely the problem. Nothing about the people he pursued was harmless, and even if the women here knew something they could use, Emma Jane knowing could put her in danger.
“Please don’t.” He took her hands in his. “I know you mean well. But they will kill you, Emma Jane. If they think you know anything that can hurt them, they will kill you.”
He hated being so blunt with her, but he didn’t know any other way to put it.
“Don’t you remember?” she said, too lightly to be anything than covering up her pain. “Everyone thinks I’m an idiot. The only perceived threat people see in me is that I’ve dashed the marital aspirations of every woman in this town. Instead of fearing that the bandits will kill me, you should be more fearful that one of your adoring fans will do it so they can take my place.”
A little harsh, but as he remembered the vitriol aimed at Emma Jane since their wedding, she probably wasn’t too far off the mark. Every woman in town wished them ill. No, not them. Emma Jane. She’d snatched the town’s most eligible bachelor out from their noses. Despite their marriage, the rumors and innuendoes hadn’t stopped.
“I’m sorry,” Jasper said quietly. “I wish it were easier for you.”
Oddly enough, he spoke the truth. Emma Jane hadn’t been the first to try to trap him into marriage. Every girl in town had, at some point, contrived some scheme to attempt to compromise herself with him. Emma Jane had merely been the one to succeed. And they all hated her for it.
“It will be,” Emma Jane reassured him with a small smile. “Once I help you bring down the bandits, everyone will see that I am a credit to you. A credit to this town. A woman worthy of respect.”
“You don’t need to put your life at risk for that. I promise you, Emma Jane, once this is all over, I will do everything I can to fix things. But for now, you have to trust me. Your respectability is not worth your life. Continue to occupy yourself with the pastor’s ministry, but don’t get involved with this case.”
She appeared to consider his words, nodding slowly.
“I really do have to go.” Then he locked eyes with her, squeezing her hand. “The most important part of marriage to me, the part ours is lacking, is trust. Trust me, and stay out of this. If you do this, our marriage will have the foundation it needs for us to have a future. Do you understand?”
Emma Jane’s eyes filled with tears as she nodded again. Maybe there was hope for their relationship, after all.
As they started to turn to leave, Mary and Pastor Lassiter entered the office.
“I was just coming to find you,” Emma Jane said, a happy smile finally filling her face.
As much as everyone talked about Emma Jane’s unfortunate appearance, Jasper couldn’t help but think that many of them had never seen Emma Jane smile. When she smiled, it lit up her whole face, and even her eyes sparkled. Jasper had escorted many of the town’s beauties, and not one had a smile like Emma Jane’s. Jasper shook his head. These thoughts had no business popping up. Not when he had so many more important matters to think of.
Pastor Lassiter returned her smile. “I’m glad to have run into the both of you. Your wedding was such a rushed affair, and then everything that happened with Rose, I fear that I haven’t done my duty by the both of you.”
“We understand, Pastor,” Jasper said smoothly. “I’ve also been occupied. The remaining bandits still need to be caught, and I’ve accepted a deputy position to help make it happen.”
Pastor Lassiter’s brow furrowed. “You should be spending your time getting to know your bride. Emma Jane’s a lovely woman, and she needs the support of her husband right now.”
Why was everyone so worried about Emma Jane? She’d gotten what she wanted—the Jackson name. In the meantime, there were some very bad men on the loose, and another young woman potentially in danger.
“Emma Jane will be fine. We have the rest of our lives to get to know each other.” Jasper didn’t want to add that since there was no love between them, they’d need all that time—and more—to bridge the gap between them.
But if they could build the trust he asked for, perhaps, as Pastor Lassiter had said the day of their wedding, love could grow.
“People are talking,” the pastor said slowly. “I don’t like to give credence to gossip, but in Emma Jane’s case, the longer you remain absent from your wife, the worse it will be for her.”
The pained expression on Emma Jane’s face almost made him feel guilty. He’d been busy for most of the time in the days since their wedding, but he’d seen how people had treated her at the wedding and at their reception. None of the women from good families even spoke to Emma Jane, and all of the men had apologized to him for the behavior of their wives and daughters.
But it would blow over. Gossip always did. Soon enough, people would be clamoring for invitations for tea with Emma Jane, and they’d be looking for her sponsorship at their events. The Jackson name and fortune had that effect on people.
Ignoring the prickle at the back of his neck, Jasper replied, “No one ever died from gossip. The longer we delay in finding and rescuing Daisy, the more her life is at risk. As I said, my wife will be fine.”
But something tugged at him as he remembered talking to Emma Jane when they were trapped in the mine, and how hurt she’d been by all the women mocking her dress, whispering about how her father had gambled away all their money, and worse—her sister’s hand in marriage.
Maybe no one had ever died from gossip, but he’d seen how it had broken Emma Jane’s heart.
“I’m sorry.” He held out his hand to her. “I’m so used to people talking about me, I suppose I hadn’t considered much about how it might be hurtful to you. But I have to go with the posse today. They’re counting on me. I should be back by supper—we can talk then. I promise we’ll figure something out.”
The lines in Emma Jane’s forehead disappeared, even though Pastor Lassiter still looked concerned. But it was the best he could do for now. If the bandits weren’t stopped, how many others would be in danger? He’d do what he could to make more of an effort with Emma Jane. Maybe he’d talk to his friend Will about how to balance life as a lawman and making time for family. Of course, Will’s engagement was as new as Jasper’s marriage, but surely the other man would have some advice. He only hoped that Emma Jane had the wisdom to stay away from the case.
* * *
The humiliation of sitting and listening to the women mocking her in church was nothing compared to the fact that Jasper didn’t seem to take the gossip she faced seriously. But of course it wasn’t he who was called the names. A woman finds herself in a compromising position, and she is all sorts of evil. But what of the man? No one spews insults at him or tries to tell him that there is something wrong with him. Since their wedding, Jasper was perfectly able to carry on with his life with no ill effects.
Emma Jane watched as her husband justified his actions to the pastor. Jasper honestly didn’t think he’d done anything wrong. But as Jasper pointed out that a woman’s life was in jeopardy, how could Emma Jane argue? It seemed selfish to speak up and say that Pastor Lassiter was right—she did need him. Both in defense against the women at church and with his mother.
Jasper bowed his head slightly. “I’m sorry, Pastor. I really am. But I do need to get going. The posse is leaving soon, and I need to be with them.”
Then, without waiting for anyone’s response, Jasper turned and walked away.
It shouldn’t have hurt, since Emma Jane knew he was leaving, but the farther he went, the bigger the empty space in her heart became.
Mary came and put her arm around Emma Jane. “It will be all right. Hopefully, they catch the bandits soon and they won’t have to keep rushing off. Will seemed confident that they were close to finding them. Their most recent lead was promising, he said.”
Far more information than Jasper had given Emma Jane. Was it wrong to envy her friend and the open communication Mary and Will had?
“I hope so.” She turned to Pastor Lassiter. “In the meantime, I believe you were saying that the church needed additional assistance with the women you’re caring for right now. What can I do to help?”
Though the pastor’s brow remained furrowed, he gave a smile. “It’s as I keep telling everyone, Emma Jane. You have a good heart. Once the Jacksons figure that out, they’ll be grateful to have you in their family. You’ve already done so much, and I’m proud to have you in our church. As for what you can do...”
Mary stopped him. “Oh, no, you don’t. First, we haven’t eaten. While I’m sure the Jackson chef is wonderful, you can’t tell me that the food is nearly as good as the wholesome meals Maddie fixes. And then Emma Jane and I are going to sit down and catch up on everything that’s gone on around here lately. After that, you can put Emma Jane to work. It’ll be waiting.”
Emma Jane had always admired Mary’s take-charge attitude. But now, faced with a friend who actually cared about her, Emma Jane couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes. She hadn’t realized just how hard it had been on her own. Though she and Mary had only recently become close, Emma Jane couldn’t imagine how she’d managed all these years without Mary’s friendship. She’d thought she’d found that kind of confidant in Jasper, but since their marriage, he felt more like a stranger. No, worse than a stranger.
“None of that.” Mary gave her a quick squeeze. “What did I tell you about tears ruining your complexion? You’ll feel better once you’ve gotten some food in you.”
Pastor Lassiter grinned. “And people wonder how I manage with all the people in my home. They should see how well the people in my home do all the managing for me.”
They all chuckled together as they exited the church, then rounded the corner to the parsonage. Mary’s younger brother and sisters were chasing one another in the backyard, playing some kind of game. The giggles filled Emma Jane’s soul. She hadn’t heard laughter at all since she’d been staying in the Jackson mansion. Even in her own home, laughter had often been missing. But here, at the Lassiter house, where Mary and her siblings were staying until their house could be built, merriment abounded. If Emma Jane could have one wish about her future with Jasper, it would be that their home would be more like this place than where they’d both grown up.
Emma Jane shook her head. She shouldn’t be thinking such things. She had to believe that she and Jasper would find their way...somehow.
But how were they supposed to do that when he kept shutting her out? He said that it was for her safety, but that was what men always said to women. Jasper and Will had made Mary stay behind the night of the brothel fire for her safety, but Mary had followed them. And even though she had been in danger, Mary herself had told Emma Jane that it had been her quick thinking that had saved them. When the bandits had them all trapped, Mary distracted the bandits by throwing the lit lamps at them, giving Will, Jasper and herself time to get away.
Even now, word about Mary’s bravery was getting out around town. She was a hero.
As they walked toward the parsonage, Emma Jane couldn’t help but wonder if a heroic act of her own might make the town look at her differently.
So what could Emma do that wouldn’t upset Jasper...?
“Mary!”
The youngest little girl came running up to them, and Mary swung her up in her arms. “How’s my sweet little Nugget?”
“Hungry! You’ve been gone ever so long, and Maddie said we couldn’t start eating until you and Uncle Frank got here.”
Emma Jane couldn’t help but smile at the child’s honesty. She’d heard that the younger Stone children had taken to calling Pastor Lassiter “Uncle Frank,” but experiencing it for herself warmed her heart. Just last winter, Pastor Lassiter’s wife and all of his children but Annabelle had succumbed to the illness that had run rampant through their community. Many families had lost loved ones, and it had seemed horribly unfair to Emma Jane that the good pastor had suffered such a tragedy. Yet here, in the happy chaos of his yard, Emma Jane saw no evidence of loss, but of the joy of living.
If only she could capture some of that for herself.
“They’re something else, aren’t they?” Pastor Lassiter’s voice came beside her.
“Yes, they are.” She turned to him, noticing the happiness on his face. “Can I ask you what may be an impertinent question?”
“I’m not sure you’re capable of asking an impertinent question.” His eyes twinkled. “Ask away.”
Emma Jane took a deep breath. “How did you do it? The past year, you’ve faced unimaginable losses, and yet here you are, still opening your heart and home with such joy?”
“That’s a good question.”
Emma Jane watched as he looked around the yard, seeming to take in every detail. “I think it’s several things. The first is that the human capacity to love is limited by our humanness. But when we allow that love space within us to be filled with the Lord, our capacity to love is limitless.”
Put that way, it was easy to understand as Emma Jane pictured the many folks who came through their church and their community, as well as the nearby communities Pastor Lassiter served so tirelessly. She’d wondered how one person could accomplish all of that.
“How do you get the Lord to fill that love space?” Immediately, Emma Jane thought of Mrs. Jackson. Perhaps relying on her own power to love her mother-in-law was where she was making the mistake. Could God give her the strength to love Mrs. Jackson?
“Ask Him. Read your Bible. And let Him work in you.”
Then Pastor Jackson turned to her and looked at her intently. “The other thing that got me through was the realization that we must see everything that comes our way as an opportunity from the Lord. We remember to thank Him for the good things, but we also need to take the time to look at the bad and ask the Lord what He’s trying to teach us through the situation.” Clearing his throat, he waited a beat before saying, “For me, I learned that while it’s easy to love the Lord during the good times, we must also cling to Him through the bad. Love Him just as much in the hard times, because the kind of the love that most honors God is the love that endures all things.”
Still, Emma Jane couldn’t imagine the strength it took to endure all of the loss in Pastor Lassiter’s life. He took her hand.
“I know that your marriage, and the events surrounding it, are less than ideal. But don’t think for a moment that the Lord has abandoned you. Draw near to Him, and I promise that you will make it through in a way far more profound than you could have imagined. He has good plans for you, Emma Jane, and I am praying you will cling to Him as He sees you through.”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. No one had expressed such a deep belief in her before. And yet, as she thought back to the pastor’s earlier words about the love of God, she realized that he wasn’t just expressing his own personal belief about her, but God’s belief in her.
“Thank you.” Emma Jane squeezed his hand. “I appreciate you sharing your heart with me.”
Pastor Lassiter gave a small smile. “If it makes you feel any better, I will also tell you that there are days I miss my sweet Catherine so much it hurts. It seems brutally unfair that I had to lose her. But as it says in Job, I can’t accept only the good and not the bad from the Lord. It’s all right to feel that way. Just keep giving it to God, and He will be faithful in standing beside you.”
His openness touched Emma Jane deeper than any of his sermons ever had. She wanted that kind of relationship with the Lord. That depth of love and trust. She’d do as he said—when she got home, she’d spend as much time as she could reading her Bible. There wasn’t that much else to do at the Jackson mansion, anyway. She might as well spend the time being productive.
However, before she could formulate a response, Nugget came barreling toward them.
“Uncle Frank! Let’s eat! Maddie made fried chicken, and I’ve got my eye on one of the legs.”
From matters of the heart to matters of the stomach. Emma Jane couldn’t help the joy welling up in her at the absolute delight of being with this family. Oh, Lord, she prayed, please let me find this joy in my own home.
Chapter Three (#ulink_0e9227ba-024c-59c9-ab68-9e629349e32d)
Emma Jane’s day with Mary had been exactly what she’d needed. Not only had she found incredible peace talking with Pastor Lassiter, but the afternoon spent visiting with Mary had given her a new strength. Their friend Polly, who was also staying at the parsonage with her family to help with the Stone children, had joined them, and Emma Jane could honestly not recall a more enjoyable afternoon. Then the three girls went to the barn, where the women from the fire were staying, and they were able to tend to some of the women’s needs. Emma Jane hadn’t had much of a chance to chat with her friend Nancy, so she’d promised to come back the following morning.
Which left her sitting in her luxurious bedroom in the Jackson mansion, Bible in front of her, and unable to sleep. The past several nights had been spent in misery, and now she felt so happy it seemed a sin to close her eyes.
Well, that and the fact that Jasper had not returned by suppertime as he’d promised.
Had he been hurt? Killed?
Or was it like all the promises she’d heard all her life from her father, the ones that consisted of “Things will be different this time, you’ll see.”
Nothing in her life had ever become different, not even when the one thing that was supposed to make a difference, marrying Jasper Jackson, had happened.
Floorboards creaked on the stairs, and Emma Jane jumped up. The Jacksons had already turned in for the evening, and surely by now the servants were already in bed. Which meant it had to be Jasper.
She opened the door and Jasper jumped.
“Emma Jane! What are you doing up?”
“Reading my Bible.” She smiled and opened the door wider. “How was your expedition? Was it successful?”
Jasper shook his head. “Another dead end.”
“Come in. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
Jasper looked at her like she was crazy. “I can’t come in your bedroom.” He glanced at her nightgown. “You’re not even properly dressed.”
With a sigh, Emma Jane pulled her shawl more tightly around her. “My nightgown is much more modest than what half the women wear around town. Besides, we’re married.” She smiled up at him. “I’ve already been compromised, so it’s not as though you can compromise me any worse.”
But he glowered at her words. “That’s not funny.”
Emma Jane sighed. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to lighten up a bad situation. I didn’t mean to hit a raw nerve. Can we pretend I didn’t make a thoughtless comment, and then you come in and tell me about your progress? I’d like to work on our friendship, if that’s all right with you.”
When he didn’t answer, Emma Jane continued. “Besides, I meant what I said about wanting to help. Since you won’t let me do anything, at least let me listen. One of the women today said that having someone listen to her troubles was help enough for her.”
For a moment, she thought he was going to snap at her or comment about how it wasn’t time to work on their marriage, but then he sighed and took a step toward her door. “I suppose I can spare a few minutes.”
What happened to the Jasper she used to like? The man who used to like her?
“The chair by the window is comfortable. You could sit there if you like.” It sounded strange to her to be so formal with her own husband. Then again, it still sounded strange for her to refer to herself as having a husband.
“I’m glad you’re comfortable here,” Jasper said as he sat, settling against the soft velvety fabric.
“I’m still getting used to it all, to be honest. I’ve never had such luxuries, and having a staff is still intimidating.”
He laughed. Not the fake laugh she’d heard from across the room at so many social functions where she’d stood in the corner, praying no one would notice her. Rather, it was the same warm sound she’d heard from him when they’d gotten to know each other during the mine cave-in. After their rescue, they’d recuperated at a nearby lake resort because it was closer than returning to town. A stay that had been extended to a week due to a snow storm making the roads impassable.
There, she’d thought they’d become friends. Stuck in a hotel with no one but the proprietors and Will and Mary for company, they’d formed a bond of sorts, and their easy camaraderie had made her wonder why they hadn’t gotten to know each other sooner.
Emma Jane hadn’t heard that laugh since their wedding.
“I’ve missed that sound,” she said quietly, hoping it wasn’t the wrong thing to say. She’d already blundered in mentioning their past, but hopefully this would be a happier reminder.
Fortunately, Jasper rewarded her with a smile. “I guess we haven’t had much to laugh about. And I haven’t exactly warmed to your attempts at trying to ease the situation. Sometimes I feel selfish for enjoying life when a woman is dead because of me and I’ve yet to make it up to her.”
Back to sober Jasper. And yet, not. Because where he’d once shut her out, here he was opening up.
Could their relationship be turning a new corner as she’d hoped?
Emma Jane sat on her bed, pleased that at least Jasper had made himself comfortable on her chair.
“I don’t think she saved your life so you would feel guilty for living.” She gestured to the Bible she’d been reading. “I’ve been reading in John, where Jesus says that He’s come so people can have abundant life. I know it’s not an exact parallel, but Christ’s sacrifice was meant for us to be able to do good with our lives. Surely Mel dying for you was similar.”
Jasper stared at her for a moment, and Emma Jane felt silly for saying such things. Her mother and sister used to mock her for all of her “Bible nonsense,” and even her father told her it wasn’t seemly for a woman to be so familiar with Scriptures.
“I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Jasper said slowly. “You used to say things like that in Sunday school, things that made me think. I’d forgotten until now.”
Emma Jane felt her face warm, just as it had when their Sunday school teacher had complimented her. The other girls in the class, however, had teased her mercilessly. On top of all of her other faults, she’d been too bold in showing off her knowledge.
“Why are you embarrassed?” Jasper looked at her with an intensity that made her feel even more unclothed than she already was. “You used to say such interesting things in Sunday school, then you stopped.”
Then, with a note of what sounded like regret, he said, “And then you stopped coming at all.”
“I was tired of being made fun of by the other girls.” The words came out almost as a whisper, and her chest burned as she said them.
“I’m sorry. I never noticed.”
He truly did sound as though he felt badly for not noticing. But no one noticed Emma Jane. Not unless they found something to tease her about. Except Jasper. He’d never teased her.
“It’s all right. I stopped going to most of the church functions and took to reading the Bible on my own. I know it’s not seemly for a woman to spend so much time reading the Bible, but sometimes it was all I had.”
“Why did you come to the church picnic?”
Back to their shared history and events that they both seemed like they wanted to forget but couldn’t.
“My mother made me. I didn’t want to go. I knew word of my father’s bad night at cards had gotten out. But my mother said it was our only hope.”
“Marrying me.” His voice came out raspy, like it hurt to say the words as much as it hurt Emma Jane to admit her shame.
“Yes.” And then, because she couldn’t help it, “I’m sorry. I never meant any of this to happen.”
Flora’s words at the church came back to her. “I heard some of the talk that’s gotten around about what happened. I want you to know...”
“Stop. Please.” He ran a hand over his face. “I thought I could do this. I thought I wanted to get through it, but...”
Jasper let out a long sigh. “I want to understand, Emma Jane. But there’s still so much of me that thinks about what was taken away from me, and it’s hard to let go. I need you to be patient with me.”
Her chest was so tight it almost hurt to breathe. How she managed to get out the words, she didn’t know. “Of course. I...”
The rest, she couldn’t say. Because as much as she knew that Jasper resented not having a lot of choices in life, the choices he did have were a far sight better than anything Emma Jane had ever had. He acted as though she’d wanted to marry him. Not that she’d wanted to marry anyone else, of course, but just like Jasper had said he’d wanted to choose his own wife, she’d wanted to find her own husband.
Granted, what she wanted was probably a lot more than what Jasper wanted for himself. But for Emma Jane, she wanted a husband who wanted her. Who didn’t marry her out of obligation. Who enjoyed spending time with her...and genuinely liked and loved her...
Didn’t he realize that, in their marriage, all of her hopes and dreams had been dashed, as well?
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I didn’t mean for us to quarrel. Perhaps we can talk about something safe. Like what you’re reading in your Bible.”
Emma Jane forced a smile to her lips, hoping that, at least in this, they could find common ground.
Only, with the dark look that crossed Jasper’s face, she knew she’d missed the mark—again.
“I don’t read my Bible.”
She’d hoped, in marrying a man active in their church, that their faith would eventually bring them together. Apparently, even that hope was to be dashed.
“Why not?”
Jasper shrugged. “I learn plenty from Pastor Lassiter’s sermons. I know enough about God that I don’t need to keep studying. After all, I’ve been attending church since I was a child.”
Jasper might have grown up wealthy, but as Emma Jane recalled his mother’s words earlier about giving money to the church in lieu of helping out, she wondered if he might have grown up poor indeed.
“But Pastor Lassiter talks about the importance of reading God’s Word.”
Jasper shrugged. “And he reads it to us every Sunday. Why should I do more?”
“Because it deepens your relationship with the Lord.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I suppose that’s why you always made such insightful comments in Sunday school. How often do you read your Bible?”
“Every day.” Emma Jane hoped her words didn’t sound too prideful. When she’d made a similar comment to one of the girls at church, she’d chastised Emma Jane for being too full of herself.
Jasper didn’t say anything for a long while, and as the silence began to grow uncomfortable, Emma Jane wondered what she could say that wouldn’t cause more strife between them.
Fortunately, Jasper’s stomach rumbled loudly, and it sent Emma Jane into motion.
“I just realized, the staff has all gone to bed, but if you’re hungry, or you want some tea, I could get you something.”
Finally. A small smile teased the corners of Jasper’s lips. “Mother will be furious if she finds you in the kitchen.” Then, in a mocking voice, he said, “Don’t you know that is what the help is for? We do not belong in their domain, just as they do not belong in ours.”
Emma Jane giggled. “That sounds exactly like her.”
“I’ve heard it my whole life.” Jasper yawned at the same time his stomach rumbled again.
“It would be no trouble to get you a sandwich. I spent all night working the night of the brothel fire to make sure everyone was taken care of. Cook and I became friends of sorts, and I think she’ll be happy if I get you something without disturbing her.”
Jasper sat up slightly. “I didn’t realize you spent so much time helping that night.”
“Of course. I couldn’t sleep, knowing that you, Will and Mary were confronting a dangerous situation. Then, when Mary and Rose came here, telling us of the fire, I had to do what I could. Rose was with the doctor, and poor Mary was exhausted and famished. I had to make sure she had something, and then, with you and Will still out there, I knew that you’d need something, as well. I didn’t sleep at all that night.”
And then Jasper had been too busy talking to the authorities to talk to her. The only reason Emma Jane even knew the full story of what had happened in the brothel was because Mary had told her. Though that fact hurt, what wounded her even more was the surprised expression on Jasper’s face. True, he had been too busy to notice Emma Jane’s contributions, but the fact that it didn’t occur to him that she’d want to help, well, that seemed like a far greater sin than Jasper’s abandonment.
That was the trouble with marrying someone you barely knew. Jasper didn’t know that for someone like Emma Jane, the easiest thing to do was to step in and work, because when you worked, you didn’t have to talk. Because talking meant that people would notice her and make fun of her. No one ever seemed to pay any mind to the workers. Probably why Jasper had never noticed her, either.
“I’m sorry I never thanked you for your help,” he said huskily.
“It was a busy night. Your mother rushed you into bed and had the doctor in there with you so quickly, I’m sure there were a lot of things you didn’t notice.”
The weariness on Jasper’s face seemed to increase as the lamp flickered beside him. She hated continuing to make him talk, but they seemed to almost be getting along. Could they regain ground as friends?
“I think Pastor Lassiter has a point about us needing time together to get to know each other. I don’t understand what’s fueling your need to help this Daisy person, and you don’t understand anything about me.” Emma Jane pulled her shawl tighter around her. “Why don’t I get you something to eat, and when I get back, you can tell me something you think I should know about you.”
At least, with Jasper leading the conversation, it would keep her from making any more missteps that would drive them apart.
Hesitating before heading for the door, she watched the play of emotions on her husband’s face. Could he see that she was offering him an olive branch? A chance to begin their marriage as it should have been? Asking him to love her was too much—Emma Jane knew that—but surely peaceful coexistence wasn’t so far out of their reach.
After what seemed like ages, Jasper’s lips turned upward into the grin that was rumored to melt every woman’s heart this side of the Divide. Emma Jane had never been one of the girls to giggle and swoon over Jasper’s famed good looks, but if he gave her many grins like that, she could easily find herself wanting to. However, a man’s appearance faded over time, and Emma Jane hoped that what she found beneath was the same man she’d grown to like at the church picnic.
“All right. Don’t put any pickles on my sandwich. Mother seems to think they’re my favorite, but I really can’t stand her pickles.” He gave her a wink, then settled back into her chair.
No pickles. The simple request seemed to be the beginning of a friendship as Emma Jane went downstairs to the kitchen. There, she found Cook already at the stove, busying herself with the kettle.
“What are you doing up?” Emma Jane crossed the room and reached for a mug. Though Mrs. Jackson would probably disapprove of Jasper not being served on fine china, the mugs held more, and he seemed like he could use a larger cup of tea.
“I heard Mr. Jasper come home. He doesn’t take good care of himself, so I thought I’d prepare some food for him.”
In her short time at the Jackson mansion, Emma Jane had learned that everything was about catering to Jasper—when it wasn’t about Mrs. Jackson, of course. But his mother’s primary concern, other than reputation, was making sure that Jasper never wanted for anything.
“I should have known. I came down to do the very thing myself.”
Cook pointed to a plate on the table. “Sandwiches for Mr. Jasper, just the way he likes.”
Emma Jane couldn’t help but notice the pickle hanging out the sides. She went over and removed it.
“What are you doing with Mrs. Jackson’s prized pickles? Those are Mr. Jasper’s favorite.”
“When I asked him what he’d like, he mentioned that he’d prefer not to have pickles.” Emma Jane hesitated, wondering if she should share his secret.
Cook nodded slowly. “I wondered who’d been leaving pickles in strange places in the dining room. Poor Mr. Jasper probably didn’t want to hurt his mother’s feelings. Mrs. Jackson prides herself on those pickles, though I don’t know a single soul who can tolerate them. I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”
It was a simple conversation about pickles, but it told something about Jasper’s character that Emma Jane hadn’t been expecting. As much as he played the role of a carefree playboy, Jasper’s compassion ran deep. Rather than hurt his mother’s feelings, he’d gone along with the charade of liking her pickles.
As Emma Jane finished preparing Jasper’s tea, she thought more about Jasper’s compassion. At the church picnic, when everyone else mocked Emma Jane’s outmoded dress and the ridiculous way her mother had painted her face to attract attention, Jasper had reprimanded the girls who’d mistreated her in front of him. He’d spoken to her with kindness and treated her with dignity even when everyone else was whispering about her father losing everything at the gambling halls. He’d even promised to help her find a way to get her family out of the mess.
Of course, he hadn’t meant to marry her, and he’d said as much. Poor Jasper had only thought to do a good deed for Emma Jane, and she’d repaid him by forcing a marriage he didn’t want.
She sighed and put the sandwich and tea on a tray. No, she hadn’t forced the marriage. Her parents had. And when she’d tried telling everyone that it wasn’t Jasper’s fault they’d been trapped in a mine together and that nothing had happened requiring marriage, everyone ignored her.
When she arrived back in her room, Jasper lay sprawled in the chair, his mouth hanging open, snoring softly. His thick dark hair had fallen over closed eyes. The rugged lines had disappeared from his face, and he appeared so peaceful, full of calm and innocence. Looking at him like this, Emma Jane understood why his looks beguiled so many. He seemed so handsome and debonair. So...perfect. Everyone seemed to want that perfection, and yet, the more time Emma Jane spent with Jasper, the more she realized there was so much more to him. Which was strange, because she barely knew him at all.
After setting the tray down on a nearby table, Emma Jane took one of the blankets from her bed and tucked it around Jasper. She’d have liked to have moved him, but she wasn’t that strong, and she didn’t want to disturb him. He seemed to be sleeping comfortably enough, and because she’d napped on that very chair a time or two, Emma Jane knew he’d be fine.
Then, because it seemed like the right thing to do, Emma Jane bent and kissed him on the forehead. “May God bless you and keep you.”
She crossed the room, turned out the lights, then climbed back into her own bed and settled into sleep.
* * *
Jasper woke with a crick in his neck, feeling more rested than he had in days, yet not entirely comfortable. He opened his eyes, then realized where he was. Emma Jane’s room. He must have fallen asleep when she’d gone to get him something to eat. He glanced around the room and noticed the tray sitting on a nearby table.
Dear, sweet girl. His stomach rumbled, so he went ahead and grabbed the sandwich. The tea was cold, but it quenched his thirst. He ate and drank, enjoying the meal she’d prepared for him. Even the lack of pickles on his sandwich warmed his heart. True, his mother would have done the same and brought him a tray. But something about the fact that Emma Jane had taken it upon herself to tend to him was endearing. She hadn’t needed to go to all that trouble.
As if to remind him of her presence, Emma Jane gave a small sigh as she shifted in her bed. He looked over at her, noticing that she lay curled up in the blanket, almost like a child. Her hair lay spread out across the pillow, a deep honey shade that was neither brown nor blond, but a combination of the two. He’d heard people talk about how plain Emma Jane’s looks were, but watching her sleep, he thought her quite lovely. True, she didn’t have the classical beauty that seemed to be prized in society, but there was something genuinely attractive about her innocent face and lack of artifice.
Emma Jane sighed yet again and mumbled something incoherent. Jasper turned away. He shouldn’t be intruding on her private moments of rest.
She’d been kind to him the night before, trying to talk to him and find out what he was really like. For all her faults, Emma Jane was trying to be a good wife. But could she make up for the fact that she’d used him so badly?
He remembered how she’d made a point to tell him that she’d complied with his request, not investigating on her own and relying on him to share information.
Emma Jane was doing her part, and it was time he thought about doing his. Letting go of his resentment of the situation and giving her an honest chance. He’d told her last night that he was finding it difficult. But for as hard as he saw Emma Jane trying, he knew he owed her nothing less.
Jasper folded the blanket Emma Jane had put around him. Her consideration gave him pause. He hadn’t known that she’d helped out the night of the brothel fire. Nor had he known that she’d been helping with the women displaced by the brothel fire. In some ways, it shamed Jasper to realize that as angry as he was about his marriage, he hadn’t at all thought about what kind of woman he’d ended up with.
Somehow, in all of this mess, he’d found himself attached to a good woman.
As he placed the blanket on the chair, the bedroom door opened.
“Jasper! What are you doing in here?”
His mother’s gasp jolted him and, from the startled sound in the bed, Emma Jane, as well.
“Good morning, Mother.”
“Answer my question.”
Jasper wanted to laugh at his mother’s insistence. He was a married man, and still she concerned herself with the propriety of being in a woman’s—no, his wife’s—bedchamber.
“Emma Jane heard me come in late, and she wanted to be sure I was taken care of.” He gestured to the empty plate. “I fell asleep in the chair, and she was kind enough to let me rest.”
“She should have alerted the staff.” His mother’s face was pinched in an unpleasant expression. “Speaking of which, one of the maids says she saw Emma Jane leaving the kitchen last night. I cannot have her interfering with the staff’s business.”
He knew his marriage had been hard on his mother, who’d dreamed of a big society wedding with a woman of her choosing. But as he’d told her the day before, they had to come to terms with the fact that life had other plans for them.
“Emma Jane was being a good wife,” Jasper said in a carefully modulated tone. “I was grateful for her kindness to me.”
“I see.” She turned her attention to Emma Jane, who’d just woken and now sat up in bed, pulling her covers around her. “In the future, please leave the care of my son to our staff.”
Was his mother seriously telling Emma Jane not to take care of him? Did she truly expect that he and Emma Jane were going to continue to live in this house as strangers? But as he saw the tension in his mother’s elegant figure, he knew that was exactly what she was thinking. His mother never thought that he and Emma Jane would have a real marriage.
Jasper swallowed. He’d never imagined it, either. But he had hoped that, over time, he and Emma Jane could at least find a peaceful way to live together. Last night, she had reached out to him in an attempt to make that happen.
Constance’s edict would only serve to drive a wedge between their already fragile marriage.
“I like Emma Jane’s care, Mother. So if it’s no trouble to her, then I see no need for her to rouse the servants on my behalf.” Jasper looked directly at Emma Jane, hoping she understood that he was on her side.
“I see. However, I do want to stress that your wife should not be in the kitchen.” His mother turned and sauntered out of the room, leaving the door open behind her.
Although Emma Jane’s comment last night about her already being compromised had rubbed him the wrong way, he couldn’t help but think it now. What did his mother think she was saving him from? They’d already been forced to marry.
“I’m sorry about that,” Jasper said to her. “She’ll warm up to you eventually.”
“It’s all right.” Emma Jane stared at the blankets on the bed, not meeting his gaze. “I’m sure it must be hard for her to have you married to someone like me. I’m not exactly the society darling she’d hoped for.”
Her words shamed him. Not because she was trying to, but because that’s what Emma Jane seemed to truly believe. He thought back to the way the women had teased her at the church picnic, how Flora Montgomery had tried to persuade him not to speak to her because of the scandal surrounding her father’s gambling losses. Even at their wedding, which was supposed to quiet all the talk about Emma Jane’s fall from grace, he’d heard the whispers disparaging her character.
Jasper knew none of it was true. He’d assumed everyone else would figure out the truth sooner or later, as well. But it hadn’t occurred to him that Emma Jane believed herself deserving of the censure.
“Any man would be honored to be married to someone like you,” Jasper said gruffly.
Emma Jane finally met his eyes. “You aren’t.”
He’d forgotten how direct she could be. When they first spoke at the church picnic, he’d admired that about her. Even respected the fact that she’d come right out and said that if he married her, it would solve her problems. But that was before she’d tricked him into compromising her. Before she’d demonstrated her lack of trust in him.
“No man wants to be made a fool of.”
He hated the way she shrank back at his words. Emma Jane wanted to be friends and recapture what they’d had before they’d been forced to marry. But how could they get past it, when she had no idea what she’d stolen from him?
A chance to fall in love. To have a loving home. A family of his own. Perhaps he and Emma Jane could get to a place where they could find a way to have children. But there’d never be the same loving glances he saw Will and Mary exchange. He’d never know what it was like to have someone see all the parts of him and love him, really love him, for who he was.
Maybe Jasper had been the fool. This whole mess had started because seeing Will again and meeting Emma Jane had made him want to be a better man. To be known for something other than the wealthy playboy who stole women’s hearts. He’d thought he wanted a life of substance instead of playing to society’s whims.
Yet here he was, stuck in a marriage of convenience because he’d tried to be the man of honor he wanted to be.
Tears rolled down Emma Jane’s cheeks, and he knew he should be sorry for them. Part of him was, but the other part of him still mourned the life he could never have.
Chapter Four (#ulink_431dbc92-3f91-5196-9a4e-4d114ba67db6)
When Jasper finally arrived downstairs, he found his mother in her sitting room, sorting through envelopes. She looked up at him and held out several in his direction.
“Do you see these?”
“Yes, Mother.” He tried to sound as accommodating as possible, but he found it more difficult than usual. They often had this conversation about invitations. All the brides she’d hoped to snare for him. Now that he was married, he’d thought these conversations would end.
“All the best families in town, and not one invitation from them. We’re supposed to be the pillars of society, and yet we seem to only be receiving correspondence from the lesser-known families.”
“So what would you have me do? Throw her out on the street?”
Jasper gave his mother an icy look, then turned to go into the dining room. After the sandwich Emma Jane had so thoughtfully provided, he wasn’t all that hungry. His encounter with his mother had stolen the rest of his appetite. But he could put together a few things to take with him on the trail.
Yesterday’s dead end had him wondering. Everything seemed too convenient. The promising lead, and then it suddenly fizzling out. Something was off, and he couldn’t put his finger on it. Trouble was, since this was Jasper’s first foray into law enforcement, no one else in the sheriff’s office took him seriously. Everyone assumed that his desire to take down the rest of the gang was a playboy’s whim.
His father sat at the head of the table, and while he appeared to be reading his paper, as soon as Jasper entered the room, he looked up at him.
“Go easy on your mother. It’s a rough transition.”
“You don’t think it’s rough on me?” Jasper grumbled, pouring himself a cup of coffee as he sat. While he didn’t want his father’s lecture, he could use some advice on the case. Or at least in getting the other men to respect him.
The glare he got in response made Jasper feel about five years old. Henry folded the paper, then stared at his son. “Your mother has had one thing driving her all these years—her son marrying well so she could gain the daughter she never had. Your choice in wife is not exactly what she had imagined.”
“I didn’t choose to marry Emma Jane.”
Silence rocked the room for several minutes before Jasper’s father answered. “You would have left a girl ruined instead?”
Jasper squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself not to say something he’d regret. Finally, he took a deep breath, then opened his eyes. “Nothing untoward happened. I told you. But society and honor dictated that we marry. I didn’t make the rules, I just follow them. Now that we’re married, I have to make the best of it.”
“So why are you running away all the time? That doesn’t sound like making the best of it to me.” His father’s dark eyes bore deep into him, searching for the truth. Henry had been able to make Jasper come clean on even his worst deeds ever since he was a child.
This, however, was not like the entire plate of tea cakes he’d pilfered, eaten, then promptly became so sick he’d never had the urge to touch one of the dainty delicacies again. And yet, telling his father the truth about his intentions was even more important.
“I’m not running away.” Jasper sighed. “If anything, my marriage is a complication getting in the way of what I want to do.”
He took a long sip of the cooling coffee, then continued. “Seeing Will again made me realize how little I’d done with my life. Everyone admires Jasper Jackson. But for what? My good looks, my last name, the money I’ll inherit when you die? I want to do something meaningful with my life.”
With everything that had happened over the past several days, Jasper hadn’t been able to express those things. Finally getting it all out made the load feel so much lighter.
“When I helped Will rescue Mary’s sister, I realized that in fighting for justice for those who can’t fight for themselves, there was so much more to the world than just myself.”
Emma Jane’s image flashed before his eyes. When they’d been forced to marry, she’d told him the only reason she’d agreed to marry him was to protect her younger sister, Gracie. Had Emma Jane not married Jasper, Gracie would have been forced to marry one of the most execrable men in town. As part of their marriage agreement, Jasper’s father had paid off Emma Jane’s father’s gambling debts. One of those debts was to a man who’d told Mr. Logan that he’d take Gracie as a wife in lieu of cash. Had Jasper had a sister, would he have done any differently to spare his loved one a miserable future?
Perhaps he and Emma Jane were not so dissimilar, after all.
He only wished he didn’t feel so conflicted over his marriage.
One piece of his experiences of late continued to ring true, and that was the thing that drove him in his quest. “Even without my desire to be a better man, there’s the fact that a woman gave her life for me. Mel didn’t have to take the bullet meant for me, but she did. How do you ignore her dying wish to find and save her sister?”
All these days later, he could still smell the residue of gunpowder mixed with Mel’s blood. Jasper had foolishly tried intimidating Ben Perry, leader of the gang he was now pursuing, and Ben’s men had opened fire. Jasper should have died, but Mel shielded him. How does a man repay such a sacrifice?
Which was why he’d die before giving up on his quest for Mel. Everything in Mel’s life had been about giving her sister a better life. He owed it to her to save Daisy. Married to Emma Jane, Jasper accepted that his other dreams of home and family would be denied. But he would make something meaningful of his life.
“Sounds like some powerful motivation,” his father said slowly. “Just remember that when a man marries, his life is no longer his own.”
Jasper gave him a long, hard look. He’d already spent time living the life his parents wanted. Just when he thought he’d figured out what he wanted with his life, it seemed life had other plans. How was he supposed to balance his dreams with being a husband?
* * *
Emma Jane’s ears stung as she stood outside the dining room door. There was a reason for the saying that eavesdroppers never heard good about themselves. But this was more than just hearing bad about herself. Oh, Emma Jane knew that Jasper hadn’t wanted to marry her, even without overhearing his conversation with his father. But realizing that Jasper felt like she’d taken away his chance to do something meaningful with his life...
Suddenly she felt very selfish for wanting him by her side to protect her reputation. Jasper wanted to do good in the world, and he wanted to help people. For the first time, she truly heard him as he explained to his father what it meant to save this Daisy person.
Taking a deep breath, Emma Jane stepped into the room. “Jasper’s right,” she said, not bothering to enter the conversation gracefully. “He’s doing something important. Working to bring down a gang of criminals, and saving this woman, those things matter. I’ll still be here when he’s finished with his mission.”
She gave what she hoped was a convincing smile as she turned to serve herself breakfast. While the words sounded like the right thing to say, her stomach churned. It certainly didn’t feel right.
But what else was she supposed to do? Emma Jane couldn’t argue any of Jasper’s proclamations without being the worst kind of heartless, selfish woman there was. It already seemed wrong for her to have become his wife, even though she’d had good reason. Why add more selfishness to her sins?
Jasper and Mr. Jackson stared at her as she took her seat at the table.
“He might not come home,” Mr. Jackson said slowly.
Emma Jane shrugged and speared a piece of sausage. “He came home last night. He came home from the fire. Perhaps we need to put our faith in God and pray for his continued safety.”
It was a trite answer, but what else did Emma Jane have to give? She focused her attention back on her plate, methodically eating, though she had no appetite. It gave her something to do other than acknowledge the gazes focused on her.
Mr. Jackson coughed. “I suppose that’s true. The Lord has protected our Jasper many a time or two.”
Even without looking at him, Emma Jane knew Jasper was grinning.
“You remember that time I wanted to pet a bull?”
This got Emma Jane’s attention. She looked up at her husband, and sure enough, his face was lit up brighter than the midday sun.
“Your mother still needs smelling salts when you tell that story.” Mr. Jackson leaned in toward Emma Jane. “He wasn’t more than six or seven years old, and we were visiting friends at a ranch. Jasper saw the bull in the pen and thought that red coat of his was the prettiest thing he ever saw, and he wanted to pet it. Trust me when I say, never attempt to pet a bull.”
At this, the two men laughed heartily, and even though Emma Jane hadn’t been there, she could imagine the anger of a bull at having a little boy chasing him around and trying to pet him.
More importantly, though, she couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth at Mr. Jackson’s attempt at trying to include her. He’d defended their marriage in talking to Jasper, and even though he’d also defended his wife’s cold attitude, Mr. Jackson seemed to be at least trying to be on Emma Jane’s side.
Of course, marriage wasn’t supposed to be about sides, but what else was Emma Jane supposed to think?
“It must have been something, Mr. Jackson.” Emma Jane smiled warmly at him, trying to show that she, too, was trying to make the best of a difficult situation.
“You really should call me Henry. We’re family now.”
Emma Jane wasn’t sure which warmed her the most, the genuine kindness on the older man’s face, or his use of the word family. Perhaps things weren’t going to be so bad, after all.
“Mrs. Jackson said...”
“Constance means well. It’s just as I was telling Jasper. Give her time, and she’ll warm up to you.”
Another expression of understanding. Yes, Emma Jane had to have hope that things could get better.
At that moment, Mrs. Jackson entered the room. “What is all this tomfoolery I hear in here?”
Emma Jane tried not to shrink back in her chair, though she did remain silent. Nothing good ever came of opening her mouth in front of Mrs. Jackson.
“Jasper was just telling us of his intention to continue working as a lawman. I expressed my concern, but Emma Jane rightly reminded me that we need to put our trust in the Lord.”
Being so endorsed made Emma Jane sit up a little straighter.
“How dare you!” Mrs. Jackson’s voice jolted Emma Jane back to reality. “If it weren’t for you driving him away by forcing him to marry you, my son wouldn’t be leaving us. And you try to explain it away with faith?”
Mr. Jackson put a hand on her arm. “Now, Constance, you know that’s not true. Jasper’s involvement in the situation is because he feels obligated to repay the woman who saved his life.”
“A woman of no consequence.”
Jasper rose from his chair. “I would be dead without her. Surely she deserves to be given some consequence.”
His dark eyes flashed as he looked from his mother to his father, then settled on Emma Jane.
She felt small under his scrutiny and, for a moment, hated herself for it. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Even if his mother seemed to think so.
“As for your comments about my wife...” Jasper swallowed as he glanced briefly at his father before bringing his full attention back on Emma Jane.
“She has not driven me away. On the contrary, I have not been the best of husbands by neglecting her of late. I only hope that she is willing to continue to be patient as I bring these bandits to justice and find Daisy.”
Was that remorse she heard in his voice? Her heart fluttered in her chest. Perhaps his father’s words had given him pause to think. To consider Emma Jane as his partner in all of this.
“Of course I can be patient,” Emma Jane said softly. She smiled at him, then turned her gaze on his parents. “In fact, as I mentioned yesterday, I am greatly enjoying my work with Pastor Lassiter’s ministry. It will occupy my time while Jasper assists Sheriff Calhoune.”
Jasper’s slow nod gave her the courage to look over at his parents. Mrs. Jackson still wore a pinched expression of someone who’d taken a bite of something most distasteful. But Mr. Jackson murmured approvingly.
“It seems you are both similarly matched in your pursuit of the greater good.”
“Associating with people not of our kind.” Mrs. Jackson glowered at Emma Jane.
“Who is not of our kind,” Jasper asked, taking a step toward his parents. “The pastor? His family? Emma Jane is the model of Christian service.”
“You know exactly of whom I am speaking.”
Though Mrs. Jackson’s glare intensified, Emma Jane found that she did not shrink under it as she normally did. Though her aim in helping Pastor Lassiter was not to receive praise, she could not help basking in the compliment Jasper had given.
“Constance, enough!” Mr. Jackson gave Emma Jane a kind smile. “Constance has always doted on Jasper. This has been a lot of change for her all at once. I hope you’ll give her some grace as she learns to adjust to the situation.”
Adjust to the situation? Emma Jane took a deep breath. More people asking of her, but not...well, it didn’t matter. People didn’t do things for the benefit of Emma Jane, anyway. It was always Emma Jane doing for others. But it would be nice sometimes if someone thought to do for her.
“There is nothing to adjust to.” Jasper slammed his hand down on the table. “Emma Jane is smarter than any of the ninnies you’ve paraded through our parlor. If I had to choose between Emma Jane and any one of the girls you thought I should marry, I’d pick Emma Jane. Now if you’ll excuse us, I believe my wife and I are going to visit the church so I can see for myself the good works she is engaged in.”
After his discussion with his father earlier, Emma Jane wouldn’t have expected his fierce defense. Especially the part about him preferring her to the other girls. He was most likely just being kind, but at least he knew what Emma Jane was up against. Perhaps he was more sympathetic to her plight than she’d first thought.
Emma Jane carefully dabbed her lips with her napkin, then looked up at Jasper.
“I’m sorry,” he said, resting his hand on the back of her chair. “I didn’t even ask if you were finished. Or if you had other plans for today.”
“It’s all right. I’m finished.” Her cheeks warmed when his hand brushed her back as he pulled out her chair for her.
He was being polite, she knew, but it still felt good to have him give even that small consideration to her feelings. And while she’d always known Jasper to be a handsome man, it seemed the more he showed his kindness, the handsomer he became.
If he kept up such actions, Emma Jane might very well find herself one of the giggling girls fawning over their fans at him. Perhaps it was just as well Jasper was chasing after bandits rather than spending time getting to know her. It wouldn’t do to find herself attracted to a man who couldn’t possibly fall in love with her.
Chapter Five (#ulink_36b7da7c-f3f4-5e22-a054-ca5fabec4f5a)
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” Emma Jane said softly as they entered the barn that was serving as a makeshift shelter for the women displaced by the brothel fire.
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Danica Favorite
Conveniently WedForced to wed to protect their reputations after being trapped overnight in a mine, Emma Jane and Jasper Jackson’s marriage is one in name only. Resenting the choices taken from him, Jasper’s determined not to lose his heart. But it’s not so easy to stay distanced from his new bride when a gang of bandits abducts them both.Other young women might be ecstatic to land Leadville’s wealthiest bachelor. But Emma Jane would rather have Jasper’s love than his family’s money. A true bond with her handsome husband seems impossible…until their ordeal leaves Emma Jane caring for an orphaned baby. In reach now is the one thing neither expected—the chance to turn a convenient marriage into a forever family.
Conveniently Wed
Forced to wed to protect their reputations after being trapped overnight in a mine, Emma Jane and Jasper Jackson’s marriage is one in name only. Resenting the choices taken from him, Jasper’s determined not to lose his heart. But it’s not so easy to stay distanced from his new bride when a gang of bandits abducts them both.
Other young women might be ecstatic to land Leadville’s wealthiest bachelor. But Emma Jane would rather have Jasper’s love than his family’s money. A true bond with her handsome husband seems impossible…until their ordeal leaves Emma Jane caring for an orphaned baby. In reach now is the one thing neither expected—the chance to turn a convenient marriage into a forever family.
“Why don’t I get you something to eat, and when I get back, you can tell me something you think I should know about you.”
Could Jasper see that she was offering him an olive branch? A chance to begin their marriage as it should have been? Asking him to love her was too much, Emma Jane knew that. But surely peaceful coexistence wasn’t so far out of their reach.
After what seemed like ages, Jasper’s lips turned upward into the smile that was rumored to melt every woman’s heart this side of the Divide. Emma Jane had never been one of the girls to giggle and swoon over Jasper’s famed good looks, but if he gave her many smiles like that, she could easily find herself wanting to.
“All right. Don’t put any pickles on my sandwich. Mother seems to think they’re my favorite, but I really can’t stand her pickles.” He gave her a wink, then settled back into the chair.
No pickles. The simple request seemed to be the beginning of a friendship.
DANICA FAVORITE loves the adventure of living a creative life. She loves to explore the depths of human nature and follow people on the journey to happily-ever-after. Though the journey is often bumpy, those bumps refine imperfect characters as they live the life God created them for. Oops, that just spoiled the ending of Danica’s stories. Then again, getting there is all the fun. Find her at danicafavorite.com (http://www.danicafavorite.com).
Shotgun Marriage
Danica Favorite
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
—1 Corinthians 13:4–7
For Camy Tang and Cheryl Wyatt, thanks for being such great friends, coconspirators (not that we admit to anything, of course!), and for walking this road called life with me, and all its ups and downs. I love you guys!
Contents
Cover (#u968e7bc4-011a-54d6-a099-21482e800ce5)
Back Cover Text (#u7c042f0e-3d84-515d-adbb-7e67c78ff5df)
Introduction (#u69f12d9f-7bf9-5f2f-b724-33211949a4db)
About the Author (#u4e850cc7-47b5-582d-a211-6e88163d2061)
Title Page (#u85603b0a-a22d-5393-803e-bc9145c1eade)
Bible Verse (#u10b095de-1b85-59c9-ae34-7aa7a91ed087)
Dedication (#u7184d5d9-7aca-5dfe-a6f0-ecf524d377f0)
Chapter One (#u46a84cca-6866-545c-8c35-82d71c3815a1)
Chapter Two (#u43ba795e-c927-5edd-8153-07b6d30ab591)
Chapter Three (#udd19d188-a5c4-5a6c-8c55-7c037498d4b7)
Chapter Four (#u8657425e-1819-5bee-8bb7-abb6ed56ef3f)
Chapter Five (#u764e20e8-a06b-59b3-9b01-02c6fb950a14)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#ulink_98fbb6d4-5b17-5d43-88ae-a7ccf9c3047a)
Leadville, CO, 1881
“Did you hear he spent their wedding night in a brothel...” The whispers came from one of the pews to Emma Jane Logan Jackson’s left. But as she looked in the direction of the sound, all she saw were pious young women seemingly engrossed in their Bibles.
Jasper reached over and patted her hand. “Ignore them,” he said quietly, clasping the fingers that rested in the crook of his arm and giving them a gentle squeeze. Odd to be receiving this small amount of comfort from the virtual stranger she’d just recently married. He’d barely talked to her, let alone touched her, since their wedding two weeks ago.
Ignoring the gossip was easy enough for him to say. He was Jasper Jackson, son of the richest man in Leadville. But Emma Jane? She’d spent her whole life the laughingstock of town.
Smoothing the delicate fabric of the pale blue silk dress her mother-in-law had purchased for her, Emma Jane remembered all the times she’d wished for finer clothes to wear to church. She’d been wrong in thinking a new dress would keep the other women from talking about her. Whether it had been the poorly mended hand-me-downs, her father’s drinking, her mother’s antics in trying to make their family more respectable and even Emma Jane’s own awkwardness, people always found a way to make fun of her.
All she’d ever wanted was to find respectability in the town’s eyes, but even with marriage to Leadville’s most eligible bachelor, it eluded her.
“I thought getting married was supposed to stop all the talk,” Emma Jane whispered back.
Jasper squeezed her hand again. “It will be all right. Eventually some other scandal will hit town, and they’ll forget all about the circumstances of our nuptials. Soon enough, they’ll be begging to be invited to tea because they can’t resist the Jackson fortune.”
His emphasis on the words the Jackson fortune made Emma Jane stop and look at him. Her strikingly handsome husband, with his dark good looks, seemed almost bitter, like he resented having so much wealth. Surely being well-to-do was a good thing. With her father’s rising and falling fortunes, she knew both what it was like to be in plenty and in want, and frankly, she’d much rather have the plenty.
“What do you expect from a marriage practically forced on him by a scheming...”
Emma Jane turned in the direction of the voice, but all she saw was a group of women demurely peeking behind their fans. She squared her shoulders, straightened her back and gave them all a tight little smile. The only scheming going on was among the other women and their nasty gossip.
Jasper tugged at her hand again. “It’s not worth it. They’re just jealous because they aren’t Mrs. Jasper Jackson.”
More of the bitter tone as he emphasized Mrs. Jasper Jackson.
“You seem...” Emma Jane struggled for a descriptor that might induce her reticent husband to talk to her about it.
His lips turned upward in a smile that looked to be more painful than the effort was worth. “It’s no secret that every woman in town wanted to marry me.” He snorted. “Or, at least, they wanted to marry my fortune.”
Then he looked down at her, his dark brow creasing. “I’m sorry. I know our marriage benefited your family financially. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
She couldn’t give an answer to that, even if he’d wanted her to. The truth was, her family had insisted on the marriage, more for the funds it would bring to their coffers than any cares for Emma Jane’s reputation. Her father had gambled away her sister Gracie’s hand to settle a debt, and the only way to save Gracie from marriage to the town’s most odious man had been for Emma Jane to marry into wealth. Her mother had come up with a scheme for Emma Jane to trap Jasper into marriage, but Emma Jane hadn’t been able to go through with it.
Fortunately for the Logan family, Emma Jane’s clumsiness took over where her conscience wouldn’t let her act. She’d ended up trapped overnight in a mine with Jasper. Emma Jane’s reputation at stake, marriage to Jasper was the only solution. Her family caused such a fuss that the Jacksons were glad to give them whatever funds necessary to avoid any further embarrassment. Emma Jane’s family left town shortly after the wedding, pockets full of Jasper’s money.
No wonder he was bitter.
Jasper cleared his throat. “It just would be nice, you know, if people cared about what I wanted to do with my life.”
“Forgive me,” Emma Jane said softly, pulling her hand out of his arm, then she tugged at the lace edging on the sleeve of her dress.
She hadn’t considered what their marriage had cost Jasper. Nor had she thought about what he’d wanted. Her parents had browbeat her into the marriage, and because it was what Emma Jane had always done, she’d meekly agreed.
“No, forgive me.” Jasper took her hand again and settled it back into the crook of his arm. “It was a thoughtless remark. You had as little choice in the matter as I did. Honestly, my frustration isn’t even about that. I just can’t stand the way everyone is so concerned with trivial matters.”
Now that Emma Jane could understand. “We should find our seats,” she said, tugging at her husband’s arm.
“You go on. I see the sheriff has arrived.”
Jasper’s brow furrowed, and the line between his eyes had deepened. His thick, dark hair flopped over, seeming to have ignored the way he’d slicked it back earlier this morning.
“Is everything all right?” She followed his gaze and noticed Sheriff Calhoune standing on the other side of the church.
“We’re tracking down some of the bandits who got away the night of the brothel fire. I’m hoping he has some leads. This town’s not safe with scoundrels like them on the loose.”
The brothel fire. Jasper had spent their wedding night helping their friend, Will Lawson, rescue an innocent young lady from the clutches of a gang of bandits. During the rescue, the brothel had gone up in flames, creating chaos in their community. With Jasper’s scornful words about no one caring about what he wanted, it seemed wrong to prevent him from speaking with the sheriff. Even if church was about to start.
“I’ll see you at our seat,” she said.
Jasper gave a quick nod before turning away.
Polite strangers, that’s what they were. And while part of her yearned to know more about this enigmatic man she married, she couldn’t bear to impose on him any more than she already had.
“Don’t be a bother, Emma Jane.” Her mother’s words echoed in her head. Day and night, she’d worked so hard to not be. But because of her, Jasper was in a marriage he didn’t want. How could she ask him to give more than he already had?
The sound of giggles to her right drew Emma Jane’s attention. A beautiful baby girl, with golden hair and dressed in a pretty lace dress, bounced on a woman’s lap.
“Your baby is darling,” Emma Jane said to the woman, who gave her a smile in return.
“Thank you.”
“What’s her name?”
“Hannah.”
“What a lovely name. I’m Emma Jane...” She paused at the introduction. No longer Logan, it didn’t seem right to call herself Jackson, either.
Would being married ever seem normal?
“Pleased to meet you. I’m Pamela Woodward.” The baby reached in Emma Jane’s direction. “Would you like to hold her?”
Emma Jane automatically took Hannah in her arms, breathing in the soft powdery scent. Her heart warmed as the baby immediately snuggled up to her.
Hannah pulled at the collar on Emma Jane’s dress, and Emma Jane gently took the baby’s tiny hands in hers. Such a sweet child.
Which was when it hit her. Married to Jasper, there would be no children. He’d told her, just before they were married, that theirs was to be a marriage in name only.
“If it isn’t the town harlot, stealing other women’s beaus and tricking them into marriage.” Flora Montgomery nudged Emma Jane as she passed, giving her a haughty glare, then turned to the baby’s mother. “It’s very brave of you, letting a woman like her hold your baby. But perhaps you haven’t heard...”
With the pain of not having children heavy in her mind, Emma Jane handed the baby back to her mother. “Thank you for letting me hold Hannah. She is a dear.”
She turned to leave to avoid making a scene, but Flora blocked her path.
“You haven’t heard about our dear Emma Jane, have you?”
Pamela’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve been in Denver, visiting my parents.”
“After the church picnic, we were caught in a terrible storm,” Flora said. “Jasper found shelter for us at a nearby farm. When we were supposed to be getting ready to bed down for the night, Emma Jane lured him outside, then pushed him into an abandoned mine. She jumped in, and when they were found the next morning, her dress was in tatters.”
“I did no such thing!” Emma Jane had gone for a walk to clear her head after listening to Flora’s taunts. Well, all right, she’d run out of the barn crying. But Flora had been particularly cruel, telling the other girls that Emma Jane was going to be sold into a brothel. Not that Emma Jane would ever admit to Flora how those horrible rumors had affected her. For whatever reason, Flora had always picked on Emma Jane—had done so ever since they were in school together. Though Emma Jane had often wished she knew what she’d done to offend the other girl, mostly Emma Jane wished Flora would just leave her alone.
Emma Jane straightened her shoulders. “I’d gone for a walk and fallen into an abandoned mine. I had no idea Jasper was out there. He heard my cries for help and, in trying to rescue me, fell in, too.”
She looked at Pamela, hoping she’d be sympathetic. “Truly, it was all just a terrible accident, and nothing untoward happened. Pastor Lassiter married us himself, and he would never have done so had any real harm been done.”
The woman nodded slowly. But Flora wasn’t finished yet. She gave Emma Jane a nasty smile, baring the points of her teeth before turning to the baby’s mother. “I’m sure that’s what Emma Jane would like people to believe. But Mrs. Jackson told me herself. The Logans would have ruined them. They told the sheriff that Jasper...” Flora lowered her voice. “Took liberties.”
“Jasper would never do that!” Emma Jane stared at the other girl, horrified that she would spread such vicious lies about Jasper.
“Of course he wouldn’t.” Flora’s voice lacked any kindness. “No man would even consider you in that way. You are, after all, most unfortunate in your appearance.”
The pitying look Flora gave Emma Jane made her realize that not even the finest dress would ever make her pretty. After all, Flora was the very picture of everything a woman ought to be, with her golden blond curls and bright blue eyes. Emma Jane’s hair was also blond, her eyes blue. But the blond was stringy and streaked with brown, and the girls used to tease her that it must be dirty. And her blue eyes had brown flecks in them that Flora had said came from being evil.
Even though Emma Jane knew in her head that Flora’s accusations weren’t true, it didn’t make the cold lump in the pit of her stomach go away.
Flora was right about one thing, however. She had nothing to attract a man like Jasper into wanting to be her husband.
Still, the dig on Emma Jane’s appearance was not enough for Flora, whose eyes glittered with a kind of blood lust.
“But what I don’t understand is why you went along with the lies, unless, of course, you were telling them yourself.”
A sickeningly sweet smile followed Flora’s last statement, and she turned her attention back toward Pamela. “Jasper was so disappointed about being railroaded into the marriage that he spent the night...” Flora looked around, then lowered her voice. “In a place of ill repute.”
The fact which every woman in church was still whispering about. But they didn’t have the whole story.
“He was helping Will Lawson—a lawman—rescue an innocent young lady from the clutches of an outlaw.” Emma Jane spoke louder than was polite, but hopefully some of the other gossiping women would finally hear the truth.
“So you say.” Flora flipped open her fan, then smiled at Pamela. “I just thought I’d warn you so you understood why none of the good families in Leadville are extending invitations to this woman. Bad company corrupting good character and all that.”
With a final nasty grin, Flora flounced over to her seat in a pew a few rows up. Emma Jane gave the woman they’d been talking to a weak smile. “I’m sorry you were dragged into this. I sincerely appreciate your kindness to me, and I assure you that I’ve been nothing but honest with you.”
The woman’s noncommittal murmur spoke volumes. Flora’s words had poisoned any hope Emma Jane had of even being able to delight in someone else’s child.
Then Emma Jane spotted Mrs. Jackson heading in her direction.
“Stop dawdling.” Jasper’s mother took Emma Jane by the elbow. “We are to be an example for the rest of the church, and you’re making a spectacle of yourself.”
“Yes, Mrs. Jackson.”
Face heated, she sat in the Jackson pew where Mrs. Jackson indicated, trying to enjoy the feel of the velvet cushions rather than the hard wooden benches the rest of the church endured. Mr. Jackson, Jasper’s father, leaned into Emma Jane. “Where’s Jasper?”
“He went to talk to the sheriff,” she answered, further conversation being cut off by the sound of the organ’s first chords.
After the hymns, Pastor Lassiter spoke, sharing the need for the church community to continue to rally around the women who’d been displaced in the brothel fire. While some of the women had moved on to other houses of ill repute, many had nowhere else to go.
Emma Jane tried to focus her attention back on the pastor’s sermon, but she found herself unable to think beyond the poor women who’d been left homeless. Like Emma Jane, they were deemed unworthy and unlovable by the rest of society.
And yet, not one of them judged Emma Jane for the disgraced circumstances of being forced to marry. They all treated Emma Jane like she was a real lady, worthy of respect. Emma Jane had even become friends with a colorful woman named Nancy.
Emma Jane twisted around to see if Nancy had shown up at the church yet. The so-called fallen women often arrived after the service started, leaving before it ended to avoid ridicule.
Marriage hadn’t brought Emma Jane any closer to finding respectability, but perhaps helping with the pastor’s ministry, people would finally see her as a good Christian woman. Maybe then she would finally have the acceptance that had eluded her for most of her life.
* * *
Jasper Jackson stood at the back of the church, listening as Pastor Lassiter concluded his sermon. He hadn’t intended to miss church, but he’d been caught up in talking to the sheriff to figure out their next move.
The newly acquired badge heavy in his pocket, Jasper couldn’t help but touch it one more time. Him. A deputy. All his life, he’d wanted to do something important, but every time he tried to find his significance, his mother cited the need to carry on the Jackson legacy. She’d sob and tell him she’d been lucky to have even him, and he couldn’t spoil it by...well, she’d have a fit of vapors for sure when he shared his news.
But this time, he would not be swayed.
A woman had died saving Jasper’s life the night of the brothel fire. In the heat of an argument with the bandits, Jasper had acted foolishly, and the bandits started firing on them. Mel pushed him out of the way, getting shot in the process. Mel. A woman of the night. Not the kind of woman a man owed any kind of honor to, but she’d done the most honorable thing a person could do—she’d taken a bullet meant for him. He’d promised Mel that he’d find and rescue her sister, Daisy, from the gang of bandits that held her. The same gang who’d killed Mel.
No, his honor wasn’t at stake. It was his very soul. Or at least it felt that way as church let out and his new bride, Emma Jane, approached, her delicate features unmarred by the thoughts that plagued him. He had to admit that she was a lovely woman. He’d done the honorable thing by marrying her, but until he completed his mission in keeping his promise to Mel, he would have no peace in his own heart.
“Hello, Jasper.” Emma Jane gave him a weak smile. “Your mother—”
“There you are!” Before Emma Jane could finish her sentence, his mother stepped in between them. “Why didn’t you sit with us?”
Jasper cringed. The Jacksons weren’t typically confrontational, especially in public. But the only way he was going to be able to share his decision without encountering hysterics was to do it now.
“The sheriff was here, so I went to talk to him about the latest news on the bandits. I thought it would be a few days, but he decided to swear me in as a deputy today.”
He never imagined that Emma Jane Logan’s face would be the one to keep him calm. Until he realized that she wasn’t Emma Jane Logan anymore. Jasper exhaled slowly, trying to let go of the inevitable tightness in his chest that always seemed to come at the reminder of his marriage. At least she didn’t appear to be standing in the way of the one decision he’d gotten to make about his own life.
Of course, Emma Jane had what she wanted—his name and fortune. Though she’d insisted that the events leading to their marriage were not intentional, he couldn’t forget the sound of her mother congratulating her on a job well-done. The woman had practically cackled with glee as she’d told Emma Jane that luring him to the abandoned mine had been masterful.
Marriage to Emma Jane would have been a whole lot easier had he continued to believe it was all an accident. He’d even thought, in their time at the church picnic, they’d become friends. But friends trusted each other, and Emma Jane should have trusted him when he’d told her that he’d find a way to save her family without her having to get married. Perhaps, in supporting his cause, Emma Jane could make up for taking away one of the most important choices a man had in life.
A stolen glance at his parents revealed they’d both turned odd shades of red—to be expected, of course—but part of him wished they’d have come forward to say they were proud of him.
No, it was Emma Jane who first spoke up.
“After everything that happened with the brothel burning down, I can understand your desire to bring justice.” She gave a small smile. “I’ve been thinking I should do more to help Pastor Lassiter’s ministry to the women rescued from the fire.”
Her words shouldn’t have surprised him. After all, aiding the less fortunate was what their church was about. Or, at least, that’s what people said their church was about. He’d seen many of the young ladies pay lip service to helping others, but none ever seemed to put those words into action. Except Emma Jane. He didn’t know her well, yet he could remember seeing her a number of times at other church events, helping out.
“Nonsense,” his mother snapped. “We’ll give the pastor some money, just as we always do, and that will be that.”
Then she turned her attention to Jasper. “I hardly know what’s gotten into you. Your unfortunate marriage, chasing bandits—I can’t imagine what you’ll do next.”
He recoiled at his mother’s description of his marriage. Especially when he noticed the pained look on Emma Jane’s face. Why he was so concerned about his young wife’s feelings, he didn’t know, especially when the larger issue at stake was his ability to follow his dreams. No, his mission was bigger than a dream. Innocent lives were at stake.
Ignoring his mother, Jasper turned to his father. “I am alive today because of the noble sacrifice of a woman who only wanted her sister to be saved. If I don’t help bring these men to justice, who will? If I continue to live with no other purpose than to entertain Mother’s guests, then really, what was the point of a woman dying in my place?”
Then, taking another deep breath to dispel the inevitable lump that filled his throat when talking about Emma Jane, Jasper addressed his mother. “It would do you credit to remember that if it hadn’t been for Emma Jane pushing me out of the way of the mine caving in, I’d be dead. She put her safety in jeopardy for mine, and I will always be grateful.”
His life had been saved twice in a matter of weeks. By women. Perhaps, as much as he reminded his mother of his debt to Emma Jane, he needed to remind himself of it, as well. She risked her life for him. If marriage was the price he’d had to pay, so be it.
“Regardless of what happened in that mine, we both know you’d have had to have married her, anyway,” Constance snapped.
Jasper swallowed. True, of course, but Emma Jane’s sacrifice had somehow made his own more palatable. Even if the mine hadn’t caved in, they would have both been gone long enough that their returning together—after being out alone in the pitch-dark—would have caused tongues to wag. But once they’d been trapped in the mine, marriage had been a foregone conclusion.
And as he watched Emma Jane’s lower lip quiver, he couldn’t help but wonder how much she regretted the cost of their marriage.
“What’s done is done,” Jasper said quietly, looking at Emma Jane. “And it’s time we made the best of it.”
His words didn’t erase the sadness from her eyes, and while Jasper wished there was something else to be done, he knew that the distance between them wasn’t going to be bridged by a few words.
As grateful as he was for Emma Jane saving his life, the sting of her betrayal was still too deep, the pain too fresh. When she’d approached him at the church picnic and told him that her mother wanted her to marry him to restore the money her father had lost in a poker game, he told her that he’d help her find a solution that didn’t involve marriage. Emma Jane had said she was willing to trust him. But she’d lured him out to the abandoned mine, anyway. Obviously, she’d heard him say he needed to go clear his head, and gone out on her own. Of course he’d answer her cries for help. She couldn’t have known how dangerous it would be, or that the rains would have weakened the ground to cause a cave-in. He wasn’t even sure that she’d known the mine was there.
Regardless, Emma Jane had to have known that being alone with him, outside in the dark, was enough to compromise them both. For that, he blamed her.
So why, as tears shone in Emma Jane’s eyes, could he not bring himself to hate her?
Maybe it was because, as he had just told his mother, they couldn’t do anything about the past. All they could do was move on. Jasper was trying, he really was, and maybe someday he could hold more firmly to his resolve to look ahead rather than be afflicted by questions he would probably never find answers to.
“We should take this conversation somewhere more private,” Jasper’s father said, gesturing toward Pastor Lassiter’s empty office.
Jasper looked around, realizing for the first time that while many of the churchgoers had exited, there were still enough people milling around that seeking privacy was a wise decision. He followed his father into the pastor’s office, waiting until his mother and Emma Jane had entered the room before closing the door behind them. Pastor Lassiter wouldn’t mind if they used his office while he was busy conversing with folks leaving the church.
“I meant what I said about making the best of our marriage,” Jasper said slowly as he moved toward Emma Jane, stepping in between her and his mother. “But you have to understand that my mission to save Daisy takes precedence right now. Her life is in danger, and every moment that I spend here is a moment closer to her demise.”
Emotions he didn’t understand flickered across Emma Jane’s face as she straightened her shoulders and nodded. “You have my full support.”
Then she hesitated, looking down at her Bible, as if she were hoping it would... Jasper shook his head. What could the Bible do for her? It wasn’t going to save anyone’s life.
Emma Jane sighed and looked up at him. “But... I’m tired of pretending that the whispers don’t bother me. I’m tired of people thinking I’ve driven you away. I...”
“I’m sorry you’re bothered by all the talk.” Jasper cut her off, trying not to sound cold, but what else was he supposed to say? Everyone thought that being a Jackson was a wonderful thing, but all it did was put you in the limelight, where everyone always had something to say about your life. And by something, it never meant anything good.
Jasper took a step back. He’d intended for their marriage to ease Emma Jane’s problems, not make them worse. The only reason he’d married her was because after being alone together overnight, her reputation would be ruined, and no decent man would have her. Apparently, their marriage hadn’t had the desired effect.
“I’m sorry, Emma Jane.” He held out his hand to her, then captured her gaze, ignoring his mother’s indrawn breath. How had he never noticed before that Emma Jane’s eyes were such an exquisite shade of blue, with little flecks of brown dancing within?
“I’d hoped that our marriage would be enough to keep people from talking.” He looked back at the ground, unable to face the way her wide-eyed expression asked questions of him he wasn’t ready to answer.
“I don’t know what to do about it right now. Even if I stay, people are going to find something to talk about.”
He sent a glare in his mother’s direction. “The best thing for Emma Jane right now is for everyone to stand beside her in my absence. You can support me, thereby supporting her, or...”
Or what? Jasper let out a long, frustrated sigh. His mother would do exactly as she pleased, which didn’t do anything to help Emma Jane. Leaving him trapped in the conundrum of dealing with Emma Jane’s hurt feelings or following his calling to rescue Daisy and bring the bandits to justice.
Why did doing the right thing have to put him in such a difficult position?
“It’s all right, son.” His father stepped forward, placing one hand on Jasper’s shoulder, the other on Emma Jane’s. “Your mother and I haven’t done all we could in easing your wife’s transition into our family.”
He gave Jasper a squeeze, then moved back and addressed Emma Jane. “I apologize if we haven’t been as welcoming as we could have been. Such a hasty marriage didn’t give any of us time to properly prepare, and that’s no excuse. I’ll do what I can to address any talk.”
Jasper couldn’t help but notice his mother still remained near the door, her back stiff and unyielding, her mouth pursed tightly. There would be an argument between his parents later, and yet again, Jasper was responsible.
Why did so much have to rest on his shoulders? So many things for him to be held accountable for, and yet the one thing that mattered most—saving the life of an innocent woman—seemed to be directly at odds with it all.
He heaved another sigh, then took Emma Jane’s hands in his, wishing her hands didn’t feel like ice, like they needed him for warmth. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I just want you to talk to me,” Emma Jane said quietly. Her shoulders rose and fell. “I know ours isn’t a love match. But I at least thought we could be friends. That we were friends. Instead, I find that you have shut me out completely.”
Her words weren’t supposed to sting. All of this was her fault. They were once friends, and they could be friends still, but she had to trap him into marriage. So why was he the one who felt bad?
“I’m not sure what to talk to you about.”
“You could have told me that you were leaving our wedding reception to help Will rescue Mary’s sister Rose from the bandits. Mary knew, so why didn’t you fill me in, as well? I understand you wanted to help them. Mary and Will are my friends, too. And now, trying to bring the rest of the gang to justice and find this Daisy person? Why can’t I help?”
A whole list of reasons, starting with the fact that the only people who knew for certain that Rose had run away, and not been kidnapped, were Will, Jasper and Rose’s family. Jasper had been asked not to apprise anyone of that fact.
Fortunately, there was one equally important reason. “These are dangerous people. The only reason Mary came along that night is because she followed me. She wasn’t supposed to be there. These men are the kind to shoot first, ask questions later. I won’t have you risking your life.”
Emma Jane gave him a mournful look. One that almost made him feel bad for excluding her. But she didn’t understand how dire the situation was.
“I just want you to let me in. To talk to me like we did before our marriage.”
Jasper wanted that, too. But it seemed like there was too much at stake to waste effort on social niceties. They’d had good conversation, sure, but conversation did nothing when it came to saving lives.
“There’s no time for that. The search party is leaving soon—with or without me. Once this business is settled, then we can talk.”
The Emma Jane he’d always known was a little mouse. But when she straightened her shoulders, Emma Jane looked like a tiger.
“I can help.”
With the ferocity in her eyes, Jasper almost believed her.
“Emma Jane, you’re just a...”
He wanted to say “woman,” but the truth was, his life had been saved by two women. He had no illusions about females being the weaker sex. But against these men, a person who didn’t know how to fight, to survive and to kill if needed—that person was dead. Emma Jane could do none of those things.
“A woman who happens to be friends with the women rescued from the brothel. Women who were privy to the bandits’ secrets. So do not condescend to me about what I can and cannot do.”
She stepped aside, including his parents in the conversation. “I have tried to do what has been asked of me. But I am tired of sitting and pretending that having insult upon insult heaped upon me does not bother me. I am Mrs. Jasper Jackson, for better or for worse. And as such, I will assist my husband in bringing these bandits to justice. And when that happens, I will walk through this town with my head held high, and not a soul will dare look down upon me.”
A few tense moments ticked by. Then, with a steely look far more threatening than even his mother’s fiercest glower, Emma Jane stared directly at his mother. “Including you, Mrs. Jackson.”
Everything in him wanted to applaud Emma Jane at her words. As far as Jasper knew, no one had stood up to his mother before. At least, not with that level of vigor.
But Emma Jane was not finished, because then she turned her attention on him. “You will let me help you. If you do not include me in your plans, I will do my part, anyway. Even if it means going to the sheriff directly.”
Jasper didn’t doubt her words. No, this ferocious spitfire, a woman with whom he was entirely unacquainted, meant business. Just as Mary had snuck out and followed him to the brothel that night, he knew Emma Jane would do the same—and more.
They’d barely gotten Mary and her sister Rose out alive that night. How much more danger would Emma Jane face? It seemed an impossible choice—include Emma Jane in a potentially dangerous mission, or risk having her go behind his back and get mixed up in something potentially more precarious?
Chapter Two (#ulink_3b498dbd-d577-5d25-be21-b3615bbdbfd5)
“I need to go.” Jasper had prolonged his leaving long enough. Almost too long. He’d only meant to tell everyone of his plans, not have the impassioned discussion that ensued.
“Hopefully, this lead takes us to where the bandits are hiding. Then it will be over and all will be well. I just wanted a chance to say goodbye, you know, in case. If all goes well, I’ll be home by supper.”
Emma Jane stepped forward and gave him an awkward hug. “Stay safe.”
The rush of emotion in his chest came on harder than the force of the worst blizzard he’d endured. His wife’s hug was all warmth and completely unexpected after Emma Jane’s fervent speech about joining him.
“Promise me you won’t try to help me with this case while I’m gone. We can talk when I get back.”
He could see her hesitation as she shifted her weight and chewed on her lower lip. Those eyes looked at him in a way that made him believe that things would, in fact, be all right.
“I promise.”
He wasn’t supposed to care about Emma Jane Logan, er, Jackson. But he’d forgotten that underneath all that awkwardness lay a woman with deep compassion for others. If only she’d had compassion for the fact that he’d have liked to have chosen his own wife—a woman whom he actually loved.
In that, Jasper envied his friend, Will, falling head over heels for Mary. Their marriage would be a real marriage, full of happiness and love. What did Jasper have to look forward to?
Nights sitting by the fire and talking? That had been pleasant enough before he’d been forced to marry her. But what of the rest of their lives? And children? How were they supposed to have children when they didn’t share the kind of feelings needed for the begetting of children?
Jasper jerked away. All this time, he’d remained in Emma Jane’s embrace. How had he forgotten himself? Memories of their time trapped in the mine flooded back to him. Just before Emma Jane had shoved him out of the way of the rockslide, he’d kissed her. But then the rockslide hit, and while he’d been saved, Emma Jane’s heroism had left her with a nasty bump on the head. Jasper had considered it a sign.
Kissing Emma Jane Logan had nearly killed them both.
Now that she was Emma Jane Jackson, Jasper had no intention of repeating the experience. He had more important things to think about than romance. Even if he couldn’t get the memory of the soft press of her lips against his out of his mind.
“I should get going,” he finally said, shifting awkwardly.
His father stepped forward and gave him a tight embrace. “Stay safe, son.”
And then, almost as if his father feared the worst, he said slowly, “I can’t pretend to like what you’re doing, but I understand.”
Henry’s voice quavered slightly. “I don’t want there to be any regrets between us. So know I love you and I’m proud of you.”
Jasper should have been pleased to hear those words, but something in him ached, knowing he hadn’t yet done anything to be proud of. He exhaled roughly. He’d save the joy in hearing the words for when he knew Daisy was safe.
His mother, though, held no such sentiment. Red-eyed, she stared past him at Emma Jane.
“If he dies, I will blame you. He never had such foolish notions about chasing bandits until after he met you. And I promise, you will rue the day...”
“Enough, Constance.” His father took his mother by the arm.
After a glance at Emma Jane’s stricken face, Jasper, too, had had enough.
“None of this is Emma Jane’s fault. If you listened to me at all, you’d know that I’ve been wanting to do something meaningful with my life for a long time.”
Jasper held out a hand to Emma Jane, and she took it, her gloved fingers seeming so small in his. He’d married her to protect her, and here, with his mother’s hostility, he had to wonder for the second time today if it had done any good.
Was he wrong for trying to be more than what he was?
But could he live with himself if he didn’t? Could he continue looking himself in the mirror if he were nothing more than a dandy, taking in social entertainments but contributing nothing but gossip to society?
Squeezing Emma Jane’s hand gently, he gazed down at her. “Thank you for supporting me. I know this isn’t the marriage either of us wanted for ourselves, but I’m grateful that you’re standing by me and I promise to do the same for you.”
The tears glimmering in her eyes were unexpected, and they stirred something in his gut he hadn’t been prepared for. Was it sympathy? No, something deeper. Like maybe the friendship that had begun before he’d realized Emma Jane had set him up wasn’t completely dead.
He swallowed the rising emotion and let go of Emma Jane’s hand, turning to his mother. “Emma Jane is my wife. She is a Jackson and should be afforded every courtesy the name entails.”
Henry coughed. “Jasper is right. What’s done is done, and even if we could undo it, it would only bring more scandal to the family. We need to make the best of things.”
Jasper noticed he gave Constance a slight squeeze before letting her go. The small affection between his father and mother made him even more grateful for his father’s support.
Which made Jasper feel even worse. As difficult as his mother could be, he did love her. After all, he’d spent years playing her society games, entertaining the young ladies she deemed suitable and generally tolerating all of her misguided attempts at arranging his life. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so accommodating, then she might be more understanding of the desires of his heart.
At least his father appeared to be more understanding. He looked at Emma Jane with an expression of warmth that convinced Jasper that things would eventually work out. “Emma Jane is also right. We should be doing what we can to support Jasper. Doing everything we can to assist him will keep him much safer than if we’re working against him.”
Jasper’s father held out his hand to Jasper. “I promise not to interfere. And if there are resources I can provide, say the word, and it’s yours.”
This time, the victory felt real as Jasper shook his father’s hand. Even though Jasper could tell his mother was holding back tears. A Jackson did not cry in public, but he knew his mother would be home and in bed with a headache later, the acceptable excuse for sobbing her heart out.
He should feel bad, and part of him did, but he was used to his mother brandishing tears to manipulate people’s feelings. More important, though, were the tears that needed to be shed for a woman who had no one to cry for her.
That had to be his focus. Not guilt over everyone else’s overwrought emotions.
Jasper looked over at Emma Jane, then back at his father.
“Keep Emma Jane safe.” Then he took another deep breath. “I’m sure everything will be fine, but if something should happen to me, take care of her.”
“I will.”
Two words, as solemn as the wedding vows he’d spoken. His father would keep the promise, just as Jasper would keep his.
“I don’t need to be kept safe,” Emma Jane huffed, but her tigress look faded as his father met her eyes.
An unspoken agreement seemed to pass between them as his father turned his attention back to Jasper. “I’m going to get your mother home. I’ll let you have a private moment to say goodbye to your bride.”
His parents turned away, leaving Jasper alone with Emma Jane.
“I think we’ve said all we need to say,” Jasper stated tersely.
“I meant what I said about helping you.”
“You can’t ride out with us.”
Emma Jane nodded slowly. “I wasn’t asking to. But I’ll be talking to the women, and I will get information to assist you.”
Her plan seemed harmless enough, but that was precisely the problem. Nothing about the people he pursued was harmless, and even if the women here knew something they could use, Emma Jane knowing could put her in danger.
“Please don’t.” He took her hands in his. “I know you mean well. But they will kill you, Emma Jane. If they think you know anything that can hurt them, they will kill you.”
He hated being so blunt with her, but he didn’t know any other way to put it.
“Don’t you remember?” she said, too lightly to be anything than covering up her pain. “Everyone thinks I’m an idiot. The only perceived threat people see in me is that I’ve dashed the marital aspirations of every woman in this town. Instead of fearing that the bandits will kill me, you should be more fearful that one of your adoring fans will do it so they can take my place.”
A little harsh, but as he remembered the vitriol aimed at Emma Jane since their wedding, she probably wasn’t too far off the mark. Every woman in town wished them ill. No, not them. Emma Jane. She’d snatched the town’s most eligible bachelor out from their noses. Despite their marriage, the rumors and innuendoes hadn’t stopped.
“I’m sorry,” Jasper said quietly. “I wish it were easier for you.”
Oddly enough, he spoke the truth. Emma Jane hadn’t been the first to try to trap him into marriage. Every girl in town had, at some point, contrived some scheme to attempt to compromise herself with him. Emma Jane had merely been the one to succeed. And they all hated her for it.
“It will be,” Emma Jane reassured him with a small smile. “Once I help you bring down the bandits, everyone will see that I am a credit to you. A credit to this town. A woman worthy of respect.”
“You don’t need to put your life at risk for that. I promise you, Emma Jane, once this is all over, I will do everything I can to fix things. But for now, you have to trust me. Your respectability is not worth your life. Continue to occupy yourself with the pastor’s ministry, but don’t get involved with this case.”
She appeared to consider his words, nodding slowly.
“I really do have to go.” Then he locked eyes with her, squeezing her hand. “The most important part of marriage to me, the part ours is lacking, is trust. Trust me, and stay out of this. If you do this, our marriage will have the foundation it needs for us to have a future. Do you understand?”
Emma Jane’s eyes filled with tears as she nodded again. Maybe there was hope for their relationship, after all.
As they started to turn to leave, Mary and Pastor Lassiter entered the office.
“I was just coming to find you,” Emma Jane said, a happy smile finally filling her face.
As much as everyone talked about Emma Jane’s unfortunate appearance, Jasper couldn’t help but think that many of them had never seen Emma Jane smile. When she smiled, it lit up her whole face, and even her eyes sparkled. Jasper had escorted many of the town’s beauties, and not one had a smile like Emma Jane’s. Jasper shook his head. These thoughts had no business popping up. Not when he had so many more important matters to think of.
Pastor Lassiter returned her smile. “I’m glad to have run into the both of you. Your wedding was such a rushed affair, and then everything that happened with Rose, I fear that I haven’t done my duty by the both of you.”
“We understand, Pastor,” Jasper said smoothly. “I’ve also been occupied. The remaining bandits still need to be caught, and I’ve accepted a deputy position to help make it happen.”
Pastor Lassiter’s brow furrowed. “You should be spending your time getting to know your bride. Emma Jane’s a lovely woman, and she needs the support of her husband right now.”
Why was everyone so worried about Emma Jane? She’d gotten what she wanted—the Jackson name. In the meantime, there were some very bad men on the loose, and another young woman potentially in danger.
“Emma Jane will be fine. We have the rest of our lives to get to know each other.” Jasper didn’t want to add that since there was no love between them, they’d need all that time—and more—to bridge the gap between them.
But if they could build the trust he asked for, perhaps, as Pastor Lassiter had said the day of their wedding, love could grow.
“People are talking,” the pastor said slowly. “I don’t like to give credence to gossip, but in Emma Jane’s case, the longer you remain absent from your wife, the worse it will be for her.”
The pained expression on Emma Jane’s face almost made him feel guilty. He’d been busy for most of the time in the days since their wedding, but he’d seen how people had treated her at the wedding and at their reception. None of the women from good families even spoke to Emma Jane, and all of the men had apologized to him for the behavior of their wives and daughters.
But it would blow over. Gossip always did. Soon enough, people would be clamoring for invitations for tea with Emma Jane, and they’d be looking for her sponsorship at their events. The Jackson name and fortune had that effect on people.
Ignoring the prickle at the back of his neck, Jasper replied, “No one ever died from gossip. The longer we delay in finding and rescuing Daisy, the more her life is at risk. As I said, my wife will be fine.”
But something tugged at him as he remembered talking to Emma Jane when they were trapped in the mine, and how hurt she’d been by all the women mocking her dress, whispering about how her father had gambled away all their money, and worse—her sister’s hand in marriage.
Maybe no one had ever died from gossip, but he’d seen how it had broken Emma Jane’s heart.
“I’m sorry.” He held out his hand to her. “I’m so used to people talking about me, I suppose I hadn’t considered much about how it might be hurtful to you. But I have to go with the posse today. They’re counting on me. I should be back by supper—we can talk then. I promise we’ll figure something out.”
The lines in Emma Jane’s forehead disappeared, even though Pastor Lassiter still looked concerned. But it was the best he could do for now. If the bandits weren’t stopped, how many others would be in danger? He’d do what he could to make more of an effort with Emma Jane. Maybe he’d talk to his friend Will about how to balance life as a lawman and making time for family. Of course, Will’s engagement was as new as Jasper’s marriage, but surely the other man would have some advice. He only hoped that Emma Jane had the wisdom to stay away from the case.
* * *
The humiliation of sitting and listening to the women mocking her in church was nothing compared to the fact that Jasper didn’t seem to take the gossip she faced seriously. But of course it wasn’t he who was called the names. A woman finds herself in a compromising position, and she is all sorts of evil. But what of the man? No one spews insults at him or tries to tell him that there is something wrong with him. Since their wedding, Jasper was perfectly able to carry on with his life with no ill effects.
Emma Jane watched as her husband justified his actions to the pastor. Jasper honestly didn’t think he’d done anything wrong. But as Jasper pointed out that a woman’s life was in jeopardy, how could Emma Jane argue? It seemed selfish to speak up and say that Pastor Lassiter was right—she did need him. Both in defense against the women at church and with his mother.
Jasper bowed his head slightly. “I’m sorry, Pastor. I really am. But I do need to get going. The posse is leaving soon, and I need to be with them.”
Then, without waiting for anyone’s response, Jasper turned and walked away.
It shouldn’t have hurt, since Emma Jane knew he was leaving, but the farther he went, the bigger the empty space in her heart became.
Mary came and put her arm around Emma Jane. “It will be all right. Hopefully, they catch the bandits soon and they won’t have to keep rushing off. Will seemed confident that they were close to finding them. Their most recent lead was promising, he said.”
Far more information than Jasper had given Emma Jane. Was it wrong to envy her friend and the open communication Mary and Will had?
“I hope so.” She turned to Pastor Lassiter. “In the meantime, I believe you were saying that the church needed additional assistance with the women you’re caring for right now. What can I do to help?”
Though the pastor’s brow remained furrowed, he gave a smile. “It’s as I keep telling everyone, Emma Jane. You have a good heart. Once the Jacksons figure that out, they’ll be grateful to have you in their family. You’ve already done so much, and I’m proud to have you in our church. As for what you can do...”
Mary stopped him. “Oh, no, you don’t. First, we haven’t eaten. While I’m sure the Jackson chef is wonderful, you can’t tell me that the food is nearly as good as the wholesome meals Maddie fixes. And then Emma Jane and I are going to sit down and catch up on everything that’s gone on around here lately. After that, you can put Emma Jane to work. It’ll be waiting.”
Emma Jane had always admired Mary’s take-charge attitude. But now, faced with a friend who actually cared about her, Emma Jane couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes. She hadn’t realized just how hard it had been on her own. Though she and Mary had only recently become close, Emma Jane couldn’t imagine how she’d managed all these years without Mary’s friendship. She’d thought she’d found that kind of confidant in Jasper, but since their marriage, he felt more like a stranger. No, worse than a stranger.
“None of that.” Mary gave her a quick squeeze. “What did I tell you about tears ruining your complexion? You’ll feel better once you’ve gotten some food in you.”
Pastor Lassiter grinned. “And people wonder how I manage with all the people in my home. They should see how well the people in my home do all the managing for me.”
They all chuckled together as they exited the church, then rounded the corner to the parsonage. Mary’s younger brother and sisters were chasing one another in the backyard, playing some kind of game. The giggles filled Emma Jane’s soul. She hadn’t heard laughter at all since she’d been staying in the Jackson mansion. Even in her own home, laughter had often been missing. But here, at the Lassiter house, where Mary and her siblings were staying until their house could be built, merriment abounded. If Emma Jane could have one wish about her future with Jasper, it would be that their home would be more like this place than where they’d both grown up.
Emma Jane shook her head. She shouldn’t be thinking such things. She had to believe that she and Jasper would find their way...somehow.
But how were they supposed to do that when he kept shutting her out? He said that it was for her safety, but that was what men always said to women. Jasper and Will had made Mary stay behind the night of the brothel fire for her safety, but Mary had followed them. And even though she had been in danger, Mary herself had told Emma Jane that it had been her quick thinking that had saved them. When the bandits had them all trapped, Mary distracted the bandits by throwing the lit lamps at them, giving Will, Jasper and herself time to get away.
Even now, word about Mary’s bravery was getting out around town. She was a hero.
As they walked toward the parsonage, Emma Jane couldn’t help but wonder if a heroic act of her own might make the town look at her differently.
So what could Emma do that wouldn’t upset Jasper...?
“Mary!”
The youngest little girl came running up to them, and Mary swung her up in her arms. “How’s my sweet little Nugget?”
“Hungry! You’ve been gone ever so long, and Maddie said we couldn’t start eating until you and Uncle Frank got here.”
Emma Jane couldn’t help but smile at the child’s honesty. She’d heard that the younger Stone children had taken to calling Pastor Lassiter “Uncle Frank,” but experiencing it for herself warmed her heart. Just last winter, Pastor Lassiter’s wife and all of his children but Annabelle had succumbed to the illness that had run rampant through their community. Many families had lost loved ones, and it had seemed horribly unfair to Emma Jane that the good pastor had suffered such a tragedy. Yet here, in the happy chaos of his yard, Emma Jane saw no evidence of loss, but of the joy of living.
If only she could capture some of that for herself.
“They’re something else, aren’t they?” Pastor Lassiter’s voice came beside her.
“Yes, they are.” She turned to him, noticing the happiness on his face. “Can I ask you what may be an impertinent question?”
“I’m not sure you’re capable of asking an impertinent question.” His eyes twinkled. “Ask away.”
Emma Jane took a deep breath. “How did you do it? The past year, you’ve faced unimaginable losses, and yet here you are, still opening your heart and home with such joy?”
“That’s a good question.”
Emma Jane watched as he looked around the yard, seeming to take in every detail. “I think it’s several things. The first is that the human capacity to love is limited by our humanness. But when we allow that love space within us to be filled with the Lord, our capacity to love is limitless.”
Put that way, it was easy to understand as Emma Jane pictured the many folks who came through their church and their community, as well as the nearby communities Pastor Lassiter served so tirelessly. She’d wondered how one person could accomplish all of that.
“How do you get the Lord to fill that love space?” Immediately, Emma Jane thought of Mrs. Jackson. Perhaps relying on her own power to love her mother-in-law was where she was making the mistake. Could God give her the strength to love Mrs. Jackson?
“Ask Him. Read your Bible. And let Him work in you.”
Then Pastor Jackson turned to her and looked at her intently. “The other thing that got me through was the realization that we must see everything that comes our way as an opportunity from the Lord. We remember to thank Him for the good things, but we also need to take the time to look at the bad and ask the Lord what He’s trying to teach us through the situation.” Clearing his throat, he waited a beat before saying, “For me, I learned that while it’s easy to love the Lord during the good times, we must also cling to Him through the bad. Love Him just as much in the hard times, because the kind of the love that most honors God is the love that endures all things.”
Still, Emma Jane couldn’t imagine the strength it took to endure all of the loss in Pastor Lassiter’s life. He took her hand.
“I know that your marriage, and the events surrounding it, are less than ideal. But don’t think for a moment that the Lord has abandoned you. Draw near to Him, and I promise that you will make it through in a way far more profound than you could have imagined. He has good plans for you, Emma Jane, and I am praying you will cling to Him as He sees you through.”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. No one had expressed such a deep belief in her before. And yet, as she thought back to the pastor’s earlier words about the love of God, she realized that he wasn’t just expressing his own personal belief about her, but God’s belief in her.
“Thank you.” Emma Jane squeezed his hand. “I appreciate you sharing your heart with me.”
Pastor Lassiter gave a small smile. “If it makes you feel any better, I will also tell you that there are days I miss my sweet Catherine so much it hurts. It seems brutally unfair that I had to lose her. But as it says in Job, I can’t accept only the good and not the bad from the Lord. It’s all right to feel that way. Just keep giving it to God, and He will be faithful in standing beside you.”
His openness touched Emma Jane deeper than any of his sermons ever had. She wanted that kind of relationship with the Lord. That depth of love and trust. She’d do as he said—when she got home, she’d spend as much time as she could reading her Bible. There wasn’t that much else to do at the Jackson mansion, anyway. She might as well spend the time being productive.
However, before she could formulate a response, Nugget came barreling toward them.
“Uncle Frank! Let’s eat! Maddie made fried chicken, and I’ve got my eye on one of the legs.”
From matters of the heart to matters of the stomach. Emma Jane couldn’t help the joy welling up in her at the absolute delight of being with this family. Oh, Lord, she prayed, please let me find this joy in my own home.
Chapter Three (#ulink_0e9227ba-024c-59c9-ab68-9e629349e32d)
Emma Jane’s day with Mary had been exactly what she’d needed. Not only had she found incredible peace talking with Pastor Lassiter, but the afternoon spent visiting with Mary had given her a new strength. Their friend Polly, who was also staying at the parsonage with her family to help with the Stone children, had joined them, and Emma Jane could honestly not recall a more enjoyable afternoon. Then the three girls went to the barn, where the women from the fire were staying, and they were able to tend to some of the women’s needs. Emma Jane hadn’t had much of a chance to chat with her friend Nancy, so she’d promised to come back the following morning.
Which left her sitting in her luxurious bedroom in the Jackson mansion, Bible in front of her, and unable to sleep. The past several nights had been spent in misery, and now she felt so happy it seemed a sin to close her eyes.
Well, that and the fact that Jasper had not returned by suppertime as he’d promised.
Had he been hurt? Killed?
Or was it like all the promises she’d heard all her life from her father, the ones that consisted of “Things will be different this time, you’ll see.”
Nothing in her life had ever become different, not even when the one thing that was supposed to make a difference, marrying Jasper Jackson, had happened.
Floorboards creaked on the stairs, and Emma Jane jumped up. The Jacksons had already turned in for the evening, and surely by now the servants were already in bed. Which meant it had to be Jasper.
She opened the door and Jasper jumped.
“Emma Jane! What are you doing up?”
“Reading my Bible.” She smiled and opened the door wider. “How was your expedition? Was it successful?”
Jasper shook his head. “Another dead end.”
“Come in. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
Jasper looked at her like she was crazy. “I can’t come in your bedroom.” He glanced at her nightgown. “You’re not even properly dressed.”
With a sigh, Emma Jane pulled her shawl more tightly around her. “My nightgown is much more modest than what half the women wear around town. Besides, we’re married.” She smiled up at him. “I’ve already been compromised, so it’s not as though you can compromise me any worse.”
But he glowered at her words. “That’s not funny.”
Emma Jane sighed. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to lighten up a bad situation. I didn’t mean to hit a raw nerve. Can we pretend I didn’t make a thoughtless comment, and then you come in and tell me about your progress? I’d like to work on our friendship, if that’s all right with you.”
When he didn’t answer, Emma Jane continued. “Besides, I meant what I said about wanting to help. Since you won’t let me do anything, at least let me listen. One of the women today said that having someone listen to her troubles was help enough for her.”
For a moment, she thought he was going to snap at her or comment about how it wasn’t time to work on their marriage, but then he sighed and took a step toward her door. “I suppose I can spare a few minutes.”
What happened to the Jasper she used to like? The man who used to like her?
“The chair by the window is comfortable. You could sit there if you like.” It sounded strange to her to be so formal with her own husband. Then again, it still sounded strange for her to refer to herself as having a husband.
“I’m glad you’re comfortable here,” Jasper said as he sat, settling against the soft velvety fabric.
“I’m still getting used to it all, to be honest. I’ve never had such luxuries, and having a staff is still intimidating.”
He laughed. Not the fake laugh she’d heard from across the room at so many social functions where she’d stood in the corner, praying no one would notice her. Rather, it was the same warm sound she’d heard from him when they’d gotten to know each other during the mine cave-in. After their rescue, they’d recuperated at a nearby lake resort because it was closer than returning to town. A stay that had been extended to a week due to a snow storm making the roads impassable.
There, she’d thought they’d become friends. Stuck in a hotel with no one but the proprietors and Will and Mary for company, they’d formed a bond of sorts, and their easy camaraderie had made her wonder why they hadn’t gotten to know each other sooner.
Emma Jane hadn’t heard that laugh since their wedding.
“I’ve missed that sound,” she said quietly, hoping it wasn’t the wrong thing to say. She’d already blundered in mentioning their past, but hopefully this would be a happier reminder.
Fortunately, Jasper rewarded her with a smile. “I guess we haven’t had much to laugh about. And I haven’t exactly warmed to your attempts at trying to ease the situation. Sometimes I feel selfish for enjoying life when a woman is dead because of me and I’ve yet to make it up to her.”
Back to sober Jasper. And yet, not. Because where he’d once shut her out, here he was opening up.
Could their relationship be turning a new corner as she’d hoped?
Emma Jane sat on her bed, pleased that at least Jasper had made himself comfortable on her chair.
“I don’t think she saved your life so you would feel guilty for living.” She gestured to the Bible she’d been reading. “I’ve been reading in John, where Jesus says that He’s come so people can have abundant life. I know it’s not an exact parallel, but Christ’s sacrifice was meant for us to be able to do good with our lives. Surely Mel dying for you was similar.”
Jasper stared at her for a moment, and Emma Jane felt silly for saying such things. Her mother and sister used to mock her for all of her “Bible nonsense,” and even her father told her it wasn’t seemly for a woman to be so familiar with Scriptures.
“I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Jasper said slowly. “You used to say things like that in Sunday school, things that made me think. I’d forgotten until now.”
Emma Jane felt her face warm, just as it had when their Sunday school teacher had complimented her. The other girls in the class, however, had teased her mercilessly. On top of all of her other faults, she’d been too bold in showing off her knowledge.
“Why are you embarrassed?” Jasper looked at her with an intensity that made her feel even more unclothed than she already was. “You used to say such interesting things in Sunday school, then you stopped.”
Then, with a note of what sounded like regret, he said, “And then you stopped coming at all.”
“I was tired of being made fun of by the other girls.” The words came out almost as a whisper, and her chest burned as she said them.
“I’m sorry. I never noticed.”
He truly did sound as though he felt badly for not noticing. But no one noticed Emma Jane. Not unless they found something to tease her about. Except Jasper. He’d never teased her.
“It’s all right. I stopped going to most of the church functions and took to reading the Bible on my own. I know it’s not seemly for a woman to spend so much time reading the Bible, but sometimes it was all I had.”
“Why did you come to the church picnic?”
Back to their shared history and events that they both seemed like they wanted to forget but couldn’t.
“My mother made me. I didn’t want to go. I knew word of my father’s bad night at cards had gotten out. But my mother said it was our only hope.”
“Marrying me.” His voice came out raspy, like it hurt to say the words as much as it hurt Emma Jane to admit her shame.
“Yes.” And then, because she couldn’t help it, “I’m sorry. I never meant any of this to happen.”
Flora’s words at the church came back to her. “I heard some of the talk that’s gotten around about what happened. I want you to know...”
“Stop. Please.” He ran a hand over his face. “I thought I could do this. I thought I wanted to get through it, but...”
Jasper let out a long sigh. “I want to understand, Emma Jane. But there’s still so much of me that thinks about what was taken away from me, and it’s hard to let go. I need you to be patient with me.”
Her chest was so tight it almost hurt to breathe. How she managed to get out the words, she didn’t know. “Of course. I...”
The rest, she couldn’t say. Because as much as she knew that Jasper resented not having a lot of choices in life, the choices he did have were a far sight better than anything Emma Jane had ever had. He acted as though she’d wanted to marry him. Not that she’d wanted to marry anyone else, of course, but just like Jasper had said he’d wanted to choose his own wife, she’d wanted to find her own husband.
Granted, what she wanted was probably a lot more than what Jasper wanted for himself. But for Emma Jane, she wanted a husband who wanted her. Who didn’t marry her out of obligation. Who enjoyed spending time with her...and genuinely liked and loved her...
Didn’t he realize that, in their marriage, all of her hopes and dreams had been dashed, as well?
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I didn’t mean for us to quarrel. Perhaps we can talk about something safe. Like what you’re reading in your Bible.”
Emma Jane forced a smile to her lips, hoping that, at least in this, they could find common ground.
Only, with the dark look that crossed Jasper’s face, she knew she’d missed the mark—again.
“I don’t read my Bible.”
She’d hoped, in marrying a man active in their church, that their faith would eventually bring them together. Apparently, even that hope was to be dashed.
“Why not?”
Jasper shrugged. “I learn plenty from Pastor Lassiter’s sermons. I know enough about God that I don’t need to keep studying. After all, I’ve been attending church since I was a child.”
Jasper might have grown up wealthy, but as Emma Jane recalled his mother’s words earlier about giving money to the church in lieu of helping out, she wondered if he might have grown up poor indeed.
“But Pastor Lassiter talks about the importance of reading God’s Word.”
Jasper shrugged. “And he reads it to us every Sunday. Why should I do more?”
“Because it deepens your relationship with the Lord.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I suppose that’s why you always made such insightful comments in Sunday school. How often do you read your Bible?”
“Every day.” Emma Jane hoped her words didn’t sound too prideful. When she’d made a similar comment to one of the girls at church, she’d chastised Emma Jane for being too full of herself.
Jasper didn’t say anything for a long while, and as the silence began to grow uncomfortable, Emma Jane wondered what she could say that wouldn’t cause more strife between them.
Fortunately, Jasper’s stomach rumbled loudly, and it sent Emma Jane into motion.
“I just realized, the staff has all gone to bed, but if you’re hungry, or you want some tea, I could get you something.”
Finally. A small smile teased the corners of Jasper’s lips. “Mother will be furious if she finds you in the kitchen.” Then, in a mocking voice, he said, “Don’t you know that is what the help is for? We do not belong in their domain, just as they do not belong in ours.”
Emma Jane giggled. “That sounds exactly like her.”
“I’ve heard it my whole life.” Jasper yawned at the same time his stomach rumbled again.
“It would be no trouble to get you a sandwich. I spent all night working the night of the brothel fire to make sure everyone was taken care of. Cook and I became friends of sorts, and I think she’ll be happy if I get you something without disturbing her.”
Jasper sat up slightly. “I didn’t realize you spent so much time helping that night.”
“Of course. I couldn’t sleep, knowing that you, Will and Mary were confronting a dangerous situation. Then, when Mary and Rose came here, telling us of the fire, I had to do what I could. Rose was with the doctor, and poor Mary was exhausted and famished. I had to make sure she had something, and then, with you and Will still out there, I knew that you’d need something, as well. I didn’t sleep at all that night.”
And then Jasper had been too busy talking to the authorities to talk to her. The only reason Emma Jane even knew the full story of what had happened in the brothel was because Mary had told her. Though that fact hurt, what wounded her even more was the surprised expression on Jasper’s face. True, he had been too busy to notice Emma Jane’s contributions, but the fact that it didn’t occur to him that she’d want to help, well, that seemed like a far greater sin than Jasper’s abandonment.
That was the trouble with marrying someone you barely knew. Jasper didn’t know that for someone like Emma Jane, the easiest thing to do was to step in and work, because when you worked, you didn’t have to talk. Because talking meant that people would notice her and make fun of her. No one ever seemed to pay any mind to the workers. Probably why Jasper had never noticed her, either.
“I’m sorry I never thanked you for your help,” he said huskily.
“It was a busy night. Your mother rushed you into bed and had the doctor in there with you so quickly, I’m sure there were a lot of things you didn’t notice.”
The weariness on Jasper’s face seemed to increase as the lamp flickered beside him. She hated continuing to make him talk, but they seemed to almost be getting along. Could they regain ground as friends?
“I think Pastor Lassiter has a point about us needing time together to get to know each other. I don’t understand what’s fueling your need to help this Daisy person, and you don’t understand anything about me.” Emma Jane pulled her shawl tighter around her. “Why don’t I get you something to eat, and when I get back, you can tell me something you think I should know about you.”
At least, with Jasper leading the conversation, it would keep her from making any more missteps that would drive them apart.
Hesitating before heading for the door, she watched the play of emotions on her husband’s face. Could he see that she was offering him an olive branch? A chance to begin their marriage as it should have been? Asking him to love her was too much—Emma Jane knew that—but surely peaceful coexistence wasn’t so far out of their reach.
After what seemed like ages, Jasper’s lips turned upward into the grin that was rumored to melt every woman’s heart this side of the Divide. Emma Jane had never been one of the girls to giggle and swoon over Jasper’s famed good looks, but if he gave her many grins like that, she could easily find herself wanting to. However, a man’s appearance faded over time, and Emma Jane hoped that what she found beneath was the same man she’d grown to like at the church picnic.
“All right. Don’t put any pickles on my sandwich. Mother seems to think they’re my favorite, but I really can’t stand her pickles.” He gave her a wink, then settled back into her chair.
No pickles. The simple request seemed to be the beginning of a friendship as Emma Jane went downstairs to the kitchen. There, she found Cook already at the stove, busying herself with the kettle.
“What are you doing up?” Emma Jane crossed the room and reached for a mug. Though Mrs. Jackson would probably disapprove of Jasper not being served on fine china, the mugs held more, and he seemed like he could use a larger cup of tea.
“I heard Mr. Jasper come home. He doesn’t take good care of himself, so I thought I’d prepare some food for him.”
In her short time at the Jackson mansion, Emma Jane had learned that everything was about catering to Jasper—when it wasn’t about Mrs. Jackson, of course. But his mother’s primary concern, other than reputation, was making sure that Jasper never wanted for anything.
“I should have known. I came down to do the very thing myself.”
Cook pointed to a plate on the table. “Sandwiches for Mr. Jasper, just the way he likes.”
Emma Jane couldn’t help but notice the pickle hanging out the sides. She went over and removed it.
“What are you doing with Mrs. Jackson’s prized pickles? Those are Mr. Jasper’s favorite.”
“When I asked him what he’d like, he mentioned that he’d prefer not to have pickles.” Emma Jane hesitated, wondering if she should share his secret.
Cook nodded slowly. “I wondered who’d been leaving pickles in strange places in the dining room. Poor Mr. Jasper probably didn’t want to hurt his mother’s feelings. Mrs. Jackson prides herself on those pickles, though I don’t know a single soul who can tolerate them. I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”
It was a simple conversation about pickles, but it told something about Jasper’s character that Emma Jane hadn’t been expecting. As much as he played the role of a carefree playboy, Jasper’s compassion ran deep. Rather than hurt his mother’s feelings, he’d gone along with the charade of liking her pickles.
As Emma Jane finished preparing Jasper’s tea, she thought more about Jasper’s compassion. At the church picnic, when everyone else mocked Emma Jane’s outmoded dress and the ridiculous way her mother had painted her face to attract attention, Jasper had reprimanded the girls who’d mistreated her in front of him. He’d spoken to her with kindness and treated her with dignity even when everyone else was whispering about her father losing everything at the gambling halls. He’d even promised to help her find a way to get her family out of the mess.
Of course, he hadn’t meant to marry her, and he’d said as much. Poor Jasper had only thought to do a good deed for Emma Jane, and she’d repaid him by forcing a marriage he didn’t want.
She sighed and put the sandwich and tea on a tray. No, she hadn’t forced the marriage. Her parents had. And when she’d tried telling everyone that it wasn’t Jasper’s fault they’d been trapped in a mine together and that nothing had happened requiring marriage, everyone ignored her.
When she arrived back in her room, Jasper lay sprawled in the chair, his mouth hanging open, snoring softly. His thick dark hair had fallen over closed eyes. The rugged lines had disappeared from his face, and he appeared so peaceful, full of calm and innocence. Looking at him like this, Emma Jane understood why his looks beguiled so many. He seemed so handsome and debonair. So...perfect. Everyone seemed to want that perfection, and yet, the more time Emma Jane spent with Jasper, the more she realized there was so much more to him. Which was strange, because she barely knew him at all.
After setting the tray down on a nearby table, Emma Jane took one of the blankets from her bed and tucked it around Jasper. She’d have liked to have moved him, but she wasn’t that strong, and she didn’t want to disturb him. He seemed to be sleeping comfortably enough, and because she’d napped on that very chair a time or two, Emma Jane knew he’d be fine.
Then, because it seemed like the right thing to do, Emma Jane bent and kissed him on the forehead. “May God bless you and keep you.”
She crossed the room, turned out the lights, then climbed back into her own bed and settled into sleep.
* * *
Jasper woke with a crick in his neck, feeling more rested than he had in days, yet not entirely comfortable. He opened his eyes, then realized where he was. Emma Jane’s room. He must have fallen asleep when she’d gone to get him something to eat. He glanced around the room and noticed the tray sitting on a nearby table.
Dear, sweet girl. His stomach rumbled, so he went ahead and grabbed the sandwich. The tea was cold, but it quenched his thirst. He ate and drank, enjoying the meal she’d prepared for him. Even the lack of pickles on his sandwich warmed his heart. True, his mother would have done the same and brought him a tray. But something about the fact that Emma Jane had taken it upon herself to tend to him was endearing. She hadn’t needed to go to all that trouble.
As if to remind him of her presence, Emma Jane gave a small sigh as she shifted in her bed. He looked over at her, noticing that she lay curled up in the blanket, almost like a child. Her hair lay spread out across the pillow, a deep honey shade that was neither brown nor blond, but a combination of the two. He’d heard people talk about how plain Emma Jane’s looks were, but watching her sleep, he thought her quite lovely. True, she didn’t have the classical beauty that seemed to be prized in society, but there was something genuinely attractive about her innocent face and lack of artifice.
Emma Jane sighed yet again and mumbled something incoherent. Jasper turned away. He shouldn’t be intruding on her private moments of rest.
She’d been kind to him the night before, trying to talk to him and find out what he was really like. For all her faults, Emma Jane was trying to be a good wife. But could she make up for the fact that she’d used him so badly?
He remembered how she’d made a point to tell him that she’d complied with his request, not investigating on her own and relying on him to share information.
Emma Jane was doing her part, and it was time he thought about doing his. Letting go of his resentment of the situation and giving her an honest chance. He’d told her last night that he was finding it difficult. But for as hard as he saw Emma Jane trying, he knew he owed her nothing less.
Jasper folded the blanket Emma Jane had put around him. Her consideration gave him pause. He hadn’t known that she’d helped out the night of the brothel fire. Nor had he known that she’d been helping with the women displaced by the brothel fire. In some ways, it shamed Jasper to realize that as angry as he was about his marriage, he hadn’t at all thought about what kind of woman he’d ended up with.
Somehow, in all of this mess, he’d found himself attached to a good woman.
As he placed the blanket on the chair, the bedroom door opened.
“Jasper! What are you doing in here?”
His mother’s gasp jolted him and, from the startled sound in the bed, Emma Jane, as well.
“Good morning, Mother.”
“Answer my question.”
Jasper wanted to laugh at his mother’s insistence. He was a married man, and still she concerned herself with the propriety of being in a woman’s—no, his wife’s—bedchamber.
“Emma Jane heard me come in late, and she wanted to be sure I was taken care of.” He gestured to the empty plate. “I fell asleep in the chair, and she was kind enough to let me rest.”
“She should have alerted the staff.” His mother’s face was pinched in an unpleasant expression. “Speaking of which, one of the maids says she saw Emma Jane leaving the kitchen last night. I cannot have her interfering with the staff’s business.”
He knew his marriage had been hard on his mother, who’d dreamed of a big society wedding with a woman of her choosing. But as he’d told her the day before, they had to come to terms with the fact that life had other plans for them.
“Emma Jane was being a good wife,” Jasper said in a carefully modulated tone. “I was grateful for her kindness to me.”
“I see.” She turned her attention to Emma Jane, who’d just woken and now sat up in bed, pulling her covers around her. “In the future, please leave the care of my son to our staff.”
Was his mother seriously telling Emma Jane not to take care of him? Did she truly expect that he and Emma Jane were going to continue to live in this house as strangers? But as he saw the tension in his mother’s elegant figure, he knew that was exactly what she was thinking. His mother never thought that he and Emma Jane would have a real marriage.
Jasper swallowed. He’d never imagined it, either. But he had hoped that, over time, he and Emma Jane could at least find a peaceful way to live together. Last night, she had reached out to him in an attempt to make that happen.
Constance’s edict would only serve to drive a wedge between their already fragile marriage.
“I like Emma Jane’s care, Mother. So if it’s no trouble to her, then I see no need for her to rouse the servants on my behalf.” Jasper looked directly at Emma Jane, hoping she understood that he was on her side.
“I see. However, I do want to stress that your wife should not be in the kitchen.” His mother turned and sauntered out of the room, leaving the door open behind her.
Although Emma Jane’s comment last night about her already being compromised had rubbed him the wrong way, he couldn’t help but think it now. What did his mother think she was saving him from? They’d already been forced to marry.
“I’m sorry about that,” Jasper said to her. “She’ll warm up to you eventually.”
“It’s all right.” Emma Jane stared at the blankets on the bed, not meeting his gaze. “I’m sure it must be hard for her to have you married to someone like me. I’m not exactly the society darling she’d hoped for.”
Her words shamed him. Not because she was trying to, but because that’s what Emma Jane seemed to truly believe. He thought back to the way the women had teased her at the church picnic, how Flora Montgomery had tried to persuade him not to speak to her because of the scandal surrounding her father’s gambling losses. Even at their wedding, which was supposed to quiet all the talk about Emma Jane’s fall from grace, he’d heard the whispers disparaging her character.
Jasper knew none of it was true. He’d assumed everyone else would figure out the truth sooner or later, as well. But it hadn’t occurred to him that Emma Jane believed herself deserving of the censure.
“Any man would be honored to be married to someone like you,” Jasper said gruffly.
Emma Jane finally met his eyes. “You aren’t.”
He’d forgotten how direct she could be. When they first spoke at the church picnic, he’d admired that about her. Even respected the fact that she’d come right out and said that if he married her, it would solve her problems. But that was before she’d tricked him into compromising her. Before she’d demonstrated her lack of trust in him.
“No man wants to be made a fool of.”
He hated the way she shrank back at his words. Emma Jane wanted to be friends and recapture what they’d had before they’d been forced to marry. But how could they get past it, when she had no idea what she’d stolen from him?
A chance to fall in love. To have a loving home. A family of his own. Perhaps he and Emma Jane could get to a place where they could find a way to have children. But there’d never be the same loving glances he saw Will and Mary exchange. He’d never know what it was like to have someone see all the parts of him and love him, really love him, for who he was.
Maybe Jasper had been the fool. This whole mess had started because seeing Will again and meeting Emma Jane had made him want to be a better man. To be known for something other than the wealthy playboy who stole women’s hearts. He’d thought he wanted a life of substance instead of playing to society’s whims.
Yet here he was, stuck in a marriage of convenience because he’d tried to be the man of honor he wanted to be.
Tears rolled down Emma Jane’s cheeks, and he knew he should be sorry for them. Part of him was, but the other part of him still mourned the life he could never have.
Chapter Four (#ulink_431dbc92-3f91-5196-9a4e-4d114ba67db6)
When Jasper finally arrived downstairs, he found his mother in her sitting room, sorting through envelopes. She looked up at him and held out several in his direction.
“Do you see these?”
“Yes, Mother.” He tried to sound as accommodating as possible, but he found it more difficult than usual. They often had this conversation about invitations. All the brides she’d hoped to snare for him. Now that he was married, he’d thought these conversations would end.
“All the best families in town, and not one invitation from them. We’re supposed to be the pillars of society, and yet we seem to only be receiving correspondence from the lesser-known families.”
“So what would you have me do? Throw her out on the street?”
Jasper gave his mother an icy look, then turned to go into the dining room. After the sandwich Emma Jane had so thoughtfully provided, he wasn’t all that hungry. His encounter with his mother had stolen the rest of his appetite. But he could put together a few things to take with him on the trail.
Yesterday’s dead end had him wondering. Everything seemed too convenient. The promising lead, and then it suddenly fizzling out. Something was off, and he couldn’t put his finger on it. Trouble was, since this was Jasper’s first foray into law enforcement, no one else in the sheriff’s office took him seriously. Everyone assumed that his desire to take down the rest of the gang was a playboy’s whim.
His father sat at the head of the table, and while he appeared to be reading his paper, as soon as Jasper entered the room, he looked up at him.
“Go easy on your mother. It’s a rough transition.”
“You don’t think it’s rough on me?” Jasper grumbled, pouring himself a cup of coffee as he sat. While he didn’t want his father’s lecture, he could use some advice on the case. Or at least in getting the other men to respect him.
The glare he got in response made Jasper feel about five years old. Henry folded the paper, then stared at his son. “Your mother has had one thing driving her all these years—her son marrying well so she could gain the daughter she never had. Your choice in wife is not exactly what she had imagined.”
“I didn’t choose to marry Emma Jane.”
Silence rocked the room for several minutes before Jasper’s father answered. “You would have left a girl ruined instead?”
Jasper squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself not to say something he’d regret. Finally, he took a deep breath, then opened his eyes. “Nothing untoward happened. I told you. But society and honor dictated that we marry. I didn’t make the rules, I just follow them. Now that we’re married, I have to make the best of it.”
“So why are you running away all the time? That doesn’t sound like making the best of it to me.” His father’s dark eyes bore deep into him, searching for the truth. Henry had been able to make Jasper come clean on even his worst deeds ever since he was a child.
This, however, was not like the entire plate of tea cakes he’d pilfered, eaten, then promptly became so sick he’d never had the urge to touch one of the dainty delicacies again. And yet, telling his father the truth about his intentions was even more important.
“I’m not running away.” Jasper sighed. “If anything, my marriage is a complication getting in the way of what I want to do.”
He took a long sip of the cooling coffee, then continued. “Seeing Will again made me realize how little I’d done with my life. Everyone admires Jasper Jackson. But for what? My good looks, my last name, the money I’ll inherit when you die? I want to do something meaningful with my life.”
With everything that had happened over the past several days, Jasper hadn’t been able to express those things. Finally getting it all out made the load feel so much lighter.
“When I helped Will rescue Mary’s sister, I realized that in fighting for justice for those who can’t fight for themselves, there was so much more to the world than just myself.”
Emma Jane’s image flashed before his eyes. When they’d been forced to marry, she’d told him the only reason she’d agreed to marry him was to protect her younger sister, Gracie. Had Emma Jane not married Jasper, Gracie would have been forced to marry one of the most execrable men in town. As part of their marriage agreement, Jasper’s father had paid off Emma Jane’s father’s gambling debts. One of those debts was to a man who’d told Mr. Logan that he’d take Gracie as a wife in lieu of cash. Had Jasper had a sister, would he have done any differently to spare his loved one a miserable future?
Perhaps he and Emma Jane were not so dissimilar, after all.
He only wished he didn’t feel so conflicted over his marriage.
One piece of his experiences of late continued to ring true, and that was the thing that drove him in his quest. “Even without my desire to be a better man, there’s the fact that a woman gave her life for me. Mel didn’t have to take the bullet meant for me, but she did. How do you ignore her dying wish to find and save her sister?”
All these days later, he could still smell the residue of gunpowder mixed with Mel’s blood. Jasper had foolishly tried intimidating Ben Perry, leader of the gang he was now pursuing, and Ben’s men had opened fire. Jasper should have died, but Mel shielded him. How does a man repay such a sacrifice?
Which was why he’d die before giving up on his quest for Mel. Everything in Mel’s life had been about giving her sister a better life. He owed it to her to save Daisy. Married to Emma Jane, Jasper accepted that his other dreams of home and family would be denied. But he would make something meaningful of his life.
“Sounds like some powerful motivation,” his father said slowly. “Just remember that when a man marries, his life is no longer his own.”
Jasper gave him a long, hard look. He’d already spent time living the life his parents wanted. Just when he thought he’d figured out what he wanted with his life, it seemed life had other plans. How was he supposed to balance his dreams with being a husband?
* * *
Emma Jane’s ears stung as she stood outside the dining room door. There was a reason for the saying that eavesdroppers never heard good about themselves. But this was more than just hearing bad about herself. Oh, Emma Jane knew that Jasper hadn’t wanted to marry her, even without overhearing his conversation with his father. But realizing that Jasper felt like she’d taken away his chance to do something meaningful with his life...
Suddenly she felt very selfish for wanting him by her side to protect her reputation. Jasper wanted to do good in the world, and he wanted to help people. For the first time, she truly heard him as he explained to his father what it meant to save this Daisy person.
Taking a deep breath, Emma Jane stepped into the room. “Jasper’s right,” she said, not bothering to enter the conversation gracefully. “He’s doing something important. Working to bring down a gang of criminals, and saving this woman, those things matter. I’ll still be here when he’s finished with his mission.”
She gave what she hoped was a convincing smile as she turned to serve herself breakfast. While the words sounded like the right thing to say, her stomach churned. It certainly didn’t feel right.
But what else was she supposed to do? Emma Jane couldn’t argue any of Jasper’s proclamations without being the worst kind of heartless, selfish woman there was. It already seemed wrong for her to have become his wife, even though she’d had good reason. Why add more selfishness to her sins?
Jasper and Mr. Jackson stared at her as she took her seat at the table.
“He might not come home,” Mr. Jackson said slowly.
Emma Jane shrugged and speared a piece of sausage. “He came home last night. He came home from the fire. Perhaps we need to put our faith in God and pray for his continued safety.”
It was a trite answer, but what else did Emma Jane have to give? She focused her attention back on her plate, methodically eating, though she had no appetite. It gave her something to do other than acknowledge the gazes focused on her.
Mr. Jackson coughed. “I suppose that’s true. The Lord has protected our Jasper many a time or two.”
Even without looking at him, Emma Jane knew Jasper was grinning.
“You remember that time I wanted to pet a bull?”
This got Emma Jane’s attention. She looked up at her husband, and sure enough, his face was lit up brighter than the midday sun.
“Your mother still needs smelling salts when you tell that story.” Mr. Jackson leaned in toward Emma Jane. “He wasn’t more than six or seven years old, and we were visiting friends at a ranch. Jasper saw the bull in the pen and thought that red coat of his was the prettiest thing he ever saw, and he wanted to pet it. Trust me when I say, never attempt to pet a bull.”
At this, the two men laughed heartily, and even though Emma Jane hadn’t been there, she could imagine the anger of a bull at having a little boy chasing him around and trying to pet him.
More importantly, though, she couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth at Mr. Jackson’s attempt at trying to include her. He’d defended their marriage in talking to Jasper, and even though he’d also defended his wife’s cold attitude, Mr. Jackson seemed to be at least trying to be on Emma Jane’s side.
Of course, marriage wasn’t supposed to be about sides, but what else was Emma Jane supposed to think?
“It must have been something, Mr. Jackson.” Emma Jane smiled warmly at him, trying to show that she, too, was trying to make the best of a difficult situation.
“You really should call me Henry. We’re family now.”
Emma Jane wasn’t sure which warmed her the most, the genuine kindness on the older man’s face, or his use of the word family. Perhaps things weren’t going to be so bad, after all.
“Mrs. Jackson said...”
“Constance means well. It’s just as I was telling Jasper. Give her time, and she’ll warm up to you.”
Another expression of understanding. Yes, Emma Jane had to have hope that things could get better.
At that moment, Mrs. Jackson entered the room. “What is all this tomfoolery I hear in here?”
Emma Jane tried not to shrink back in her chair, though she did remain silent. Nothing good ever came of opening her mouth in front of Mrs. Jackson.
“Jasper was just telling us of his intention to continue working as a lawman. I expressed my concern, but Emma Jane rightly reminded me that we need to put our trust in the Lord.”
Being so endorsed made Emma Jane sit up a little straighter.
“How dare you!” Mrs. Jackson’s voice jolted Emma Jane back to reality. “If it weren’t for you driving him away by forcing him to marry you, my son wouldn’t be leaving us. And you try to explain it away with faith?”
Mr. Jackson put a hand on her arm. “Now, Constance, you know that’s not true. Jasper’s involvement in the situation is because he feels obligated to repay the woman who saved his life.”
“A woman of no consequence.”
Jasper rose from his chair. “I would be dead without her. Surely she deserves to be given some consequence.”
His dark eyes flashed as he looked from his mother to his father, then settled on Emma Jane.
She felt small under his scrutiny and, for a moment, hated herself for it. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Even if his mother seemed to think so.
“As for your comments about my wife...” Jasper swallowed as he glanced briefly at his father before bringing his full attention back on Emma Jane.
“She has not driven me away. On the contrary, I have not been the best of husbands by neglecting her of late. I only hope that she is willing to continue to be patient as I bring these bandits to justice and find Daisy.”
Was that remorse she heard in his voice? Her heart fluttered in her chest. Perhaps his father’s words had given him pause to think. To consider Emma Jane as his partner in all of this.
“Of course I can be patient,” Emma Jane said softly. She smiled at him, then turned her gaze on his parents. “In fact, as I mentioned yesterday, I am greatly enjoying my work with Pastor Lassiter’s ministry. It will occupy my time while Jasper assists Sheriff Calhoune.”
Jasper’s slow nod gave her the courage to look over at his parents. Mrs. Jackson still wore a pinched expression of someone who’d taken a bite of something most distasteful. But Mr. Jackson murmured approvingly.
“It seems you are both similarly matched in your pursuit of the greater good.”
“Associating with people not of our kind.” Mrs. Jackson glowered at Emma Jane.
“Who is not of our kind,” Jasper asked, taking a step toward his parents. “The pastor? His family? Emma Jane is the model of Christian service.”
“You know exactly of whom I am speaking.”
Though Mrs. Jackson’s glare intensified, Emma Jane found that she did not shrink under it as she normally did. Though her aim in helping Pastor Lassiter was not to receive praise, she could not help basking in the compliment Jasper had given.
“Constance, enough!” Mr. Jackson gave Emma Jane a kind smile. “Constance has always doted on Jasper. This has been a lot of change for her all at once. I hope you’ll give her some grace as she learns to adjust to the situation.”
Adjust to the situation? Emma Jane took a deep breath. More people asking of her, but not...well, it didn’t matter. People didn’t do things for the benefit of Emma Jane, anyway. It was always Emma Jane doing for others. But it would be nice sometimes if someone thought to do for her.
“There is nothing to adjust to.” Jasper slammed his hand down on the table. “Emma Jane is smarter than any of the ninnies you’ve paraded through our parlor. If I had to choose between Emma Jane and any one of the girls you thought I should marry, I’d pick Emma Jane. Now if you’ll excuse us, I believe my wife and I are going to visit the church so I can see for myself the good works she is engaged in.”
After his discussion with his father earlier, Emma Jane wouldn’t have expected his fierce defense. Especially the part about him preferring her to the other girls. He was most likely just being kind, but at least he knew what Emma Jane was up against. Perhaps he was more sympathetic to her plight than she’d first thought.
Emma Jane carefully dabbed her lips with her napkin, then looked up at Jasper.
“I’m sorry,” he said, resting his hand on the back of her chair. “I didn’t even ask if you were finished. Or if you had other plans for today.”
“It’s all right. I’m finished.” Her cheeks warmed when his hand brushed her back as he pulled out her chair for her.
He was being polite, she knew, but it still felt good to have him give even that small consideration to her feelings. And while she’d always known Jasper to be a handsome man, it seemed the more he showed his kindness, the handsomer he became.
If he kept up such actions, Emma Jane might very well find herself one of the giggling girls fawning over their fans at him. Perhaps it was just as well Jasper was chasing after bandits rather than spending time getting to know her. It wouldn’t do to find herself attracted to a man who couldn’t possibly fall in love with her.
Chapter Five (#ulink_36b7da7c-f3f4-5e22-a054-ca5fabec4f5a)
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” Emma Jane said softly as they entered the barn that was serving as a makeshift shelter for the women displaced by the brothel fire.
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Danica Favorite
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Conveniently WedForced to wed to protect their reputations after being trapped overnight in a mine, Emma Jane and Jasper Jackson’s marriage is one in name only. Resenting the choices taken from him, Jasper’s determined not to lose his heart. But it’s not so easy to stay distanced from his new bride when a gang of bandits abducts them both.Other young women might be ecstatic to land Leadville’s wealthiest bachelor. But Emma Jane would rather have Jasper’s love than his family’s money. A true bond with her handsome husband seems impossible…until their ordeal leaves Emma Jane caring for an orphaned baby. In reach now is the one thing neither expected—the chance to turn a convenient marriage into a forever family.