Aftershock
Aftershock
Sylvia Day
#1 New York Times Bestselling AuthorAmerica’s premier author of provocative fiction delivers the dramatic finale to a series set within the inner circle of glamour, sex and privilege.When it came to playing games, my lover Jax was a master strategist. He pulled strings behind the closed doors of D.C.’s most powerful political players, and somehow still found time to nearly sideline my career. What he didn’t know was that when I didn’t like the rules, I threw them out and made my own. I wasn’t going to let Jax get away with it. I wasn’t going to let him get away at all.I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to give up. Jax loved me enough that giving up was the only end he’d consider. He didn’t think I could swim with the sharks. It was entirely my pleasure to show him that I’d already dived in…
Bestselling Author Sylvia Day
No 1 International Bestselling author of provocative fiction delivers the dramatic finale to a series set within the inner circle of glamour, sex and privilege.
When it came to playing games, my lover, Jax, was a master strategist. He pulled strings behind the closed doors of D.C.’s most powerful political players and somehow still found time to nearly sideline my career. What he didn’t know was that when I didn’t like the rules, I threw them out and made my own. I wasn’t going to let Jax get away with it. I wasn’t going to let him get away at all.
I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to give up. Jax loved me enough that giving up was the only end he’d consider. He didn’t think I could swim with the sharks. It was entirely my pleasure to show him that I’d already dived in….
Contemporary, sexy stories for sassy women
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon
www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo)
Dedication
This one is for all the Cosmo girls.
Acknowledgments
My gratitude to Kimberly Whalen, Ann Leslie Tuttle, and Dianne Moggy—the fun, fearless women taking this journey with me.
And to my dear readers, who inspire me every day. Thank you!
Dear Reader,
I’m so excited to be sharing Jackson and Gianna’s story with you. While Jax and Gia are discovering the possibilities of second chances, we’re exploring new opportunities with this collaboration between Mills & Boon, Cosmopolitan and me. Like every Cosmo girl out there, I’m always thrilled to blaze new trails.
I’ve been a Cosmo girl and romance reader for nearly as long as I can remember. Through every stage of my life, from high school through to marriage and parenthood, I have had the latest issue of Cosmopolitan and a romance novel (or few) on my coffee and bedside tables. You’re never beyond being fun, fearless and fabulous, and we all deserve to find our one-in-a-million guy.
I hope you enjoy Gianna’s story as she takes the New York business world—and Jackson!—by storm. I look forward to talking with you about it after you’ve turned the last page. You can find me here: www.sylviaday.com/community (http://www.sylviaday.com/community).
Stay fierce!
Sylvia
Aftershock
Sylvia Day
Contemporary, sexy stories for sassy women
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon
www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo)
Contents
Chapter One (#u0e77cdb7-4da4-56e2-87c5-aed0c9d012a0)
Chapter Two (#ude07f013-4653-59b1-adbe-8b3b8bbbf311)
Chapter Three (#u7fd0681a-91ec-5c6b-82ae-2a2fc96b801c)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Cosmo Quiz (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
1
“THAT MAN IS seriously hot. He can take my order anytime.”
I scowled at the television in my hotel room as I unpacked my toiletries. God knew why I’d tuned in to a midday talk show, but I certainly hadn’t expected to see the man I loved on the screen...or to listen to the glamorous hosts dish about how hot he was.
“Maybe he’s going to put voting booths in every Pembry-backed restaurant,” the other one said.
Shaking my head, I headed into the bathroom. Jax’s investment in Pembry Ventures still stung. I wasn’t sure I’d ever forgive him for fucking me over like that. Maybe I shouldn’t take it so personally, maybe it was just business, but there were some things you just didn’t do to someone you love and screwing up their job—an adored job at that—was one of them.
I was determined to uncover the reason why. And I was going to make him pay. Being in love with him wouldn’t change that. I wasn’t sure it changed anything.
I’d just hung my makeup bag on the towel rack when the room phone started ringing. Knowing I probably took a lot more time than Chad did to unpack, I expected he was ready to head down to see the construction site of his restaurant in the very same hotel we were staying in. The Atlanta Mondego was being turned into a destination with a capital D, and I would soon have the dust on the soles of my Jimmy Choos to prove it.
Grabbing the receiver off the bathroom wall, I tucked it into the crook of my neck and said, “Hey. You settled in already?”
“Gia, damn it. Turn on your cell phone!”
Jax’s deep, sexy voice slid across my senses, bringing with it a rush of heated and beloved memories. Something inside me tingled with pleasure that he’d gone to the trouble of tracking me down. Jackson Rutledge was a busy guy with his pick of women. Following me around the country was entirely unnecessary. And really flattering.
I leaned against the bathroom counter. “Newsflash—I’m avoiding you.”
“Good luck with that.”
My jaw tightened. So what if he was an animal in bed? So what if I was happy to hear from him? I was still mad at him. “I’m hanging up now.”
“You can’t run from me,” he said tightly. “And you can’t pull that shit you pulled yesterday. We need to talk.”
“I agree, but that usually means you tell me I’m only ever going to be a fuck buddy to you and you don’t give me any reasons why. I don’t have the patience to run around in circles. Unless you’ve got real answers for me, I’m not giving you any more of my time.”
“You’re going to give me a hell of a lot more than time, Gia.”
A shiver of awareness moved through me. I knew that tone of his. It was his I’m-going-to-bang-the-hell-out-of-you tone. “You wish.”
“I’m about to land, Gia. I’ll be at the hotel within the hour and you’re going to see me.”
“What?” My pulse gave a traitorous leap of excitement. My sex drive had been revved since I’d left him the night before. It was all too eager to cross the finish line. “I can’t believe you followed me to Atlanta! How the hell did you know where I was?”
“Your sister-in-law.”
Denise was going to be hearing from me. She knew better, which meant she’d done it on purpose. “Well, turn around and fly home again. I’m working, Jax. I don’t trust you to be around my work.”
His sharply indrawn breath told me I’d scored a hit.
“Fine,” he snapped. “I’ll send a car for you. We’ll meet at my hotel.”
“I’ve got stuff to do today. I’ll let you know when I have a moment, and I’ll find a neutral place for us to meet.” A bar, maybe, or even a shopping mall. Someplace where intimacy wouldn’t be a problem. Sadly, I couldn’t trust myself around him now that I knew how he felt about me.
“My hotel, Gia,” he reiterated. “A public place won’t save you. We’re going to fuck, long and hard, wherever we end up. Better we don’t end up in jail and splashed all over the tabloids while doing it, don’t you think?”
“You’ve really got to do something about that ego.”
“Baby, I’ll crawl on my hands and knees if that’s what it takes.”
It was my turn to suck in a deep breath. He knew how to get to me, how to open me up and leave me defenseless. I tried to do the same thing to him. “Tell me you love me, Jax.”
There was a moment of silence. “Loving each other isn’t our problem.”
He hung up, leaving me holding on to an empty connection. As usual.
* * *
“It’s finally starting to feel real,” Chad said, looking around at the construction area.
I smiled. “Good.”
He reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. He’d met me at the site, wearing an open-collar dress shirt tucked into loose-fitting jeans. His auburn hair was just barely overlong, with the bangs draping across his brow and framing his stunning green eyes. No doubt about it, Chad Williams was a hunk.
He’d drawn a lot of female attention on the way in, but he hadn’t paid any mind to it. I hoped he would stay unaffected at least until the first restaurant opened. I’d seen more than a few chefs get too cocky from attention overload, and their businesses quickly suffered as a result.
“So what happens next?” he asked, turning to face me.
“The Mondego was just waiting for signed contracts to begin serious construction,” I explained. “The architect will revamp the initial design to accommodate three chefs. When we agree it works for you, we’ll sign off on it and they’ll get to work.”
“God.” He blew out his breath and grinned. “I can’t wait to see them.”
“We’ll get to look at the existing plans tomorrow, which should give us a good idea of how it’s going to be laid out. When we get back to New York, we’ll bring you, Inez, and David together to start hashing out the dueling menus. It’ll be good to come up with some regional variations based on hotel locations.”
Chad nodded. “How much say will they have in the whole process?”
“In their menus, a lot,” I said honestly. “We picked them for their talent and we need to let them do what they do best. But outside of that, you’ve got the ultimate say. You’re the celebrity chef here. They’re riding your coattails for now.”
His mouth twisted ruefully. “I hope that doesn’t cause any problems.”
“I suspect it’ll be easier than working with your sister.”
“Ha! No doubt.”
He joked, but I saw a hint of sadness in his expressive eyes. Things would’ve been better all around if Stacy had followed through and undertaken this endeavor with him. Jax had contributed to that breakdown between the siblings, which was ironic considering how much he did for his own family.
“Have you called her since the news broke about Rutledge Capital and Pembry Ventures?” I asked gently.
His mouth thinned. “Why? So she can gloat?”
“So you can congratulate her. You know, extend an olive branch.”
“She’d be an ass about it.”
“Maybe.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “But you’ll feel better if you do. And later on, when she comes around, you can hold it over her.”
That coaxed out a huff of a laugh. “I’ll think about it.”
“In the meantime, are you hungry?”
“Starved. Let’s eat.” He held his arm out to me and I took it. “There are a lot of great fried chicken and waffle places around these parts.”
“Waffles and fried chicken? At the same time?”
“It’s a delicious combination, sweetheart. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried it.”
“Sounds like it’ll kill me, though. Or at least help me pack on another ten pounds I don’t need.”
Chad lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles. “In that case, I’d help you take them back off.”
“You are a naughty man, Chad Williams,” I admonished, but with a smile. His harmless flirting was a nice contrast to Jax, who was entirely dangerous in every way.
As if he read my mind, he said, “For what it’s worth, Lei gave me the heads-up that you’ve got a thing going with Jackson Rutledge.”
I tensed, surprised, then realized Lei was right to have done that. Better to deal with any issues now than to have Chad find out later and feel that we deliberately kept something from him. “We saw each other briefly a couple years ago.”
“And now?” He glanced at me. “Is he the guy who sent you the flowers?”
“Yes. Now he’s...” I thought of him in his private jet, flying after me. Wanting to see me. Sleep with me. “He’s back in my life and involved in my business, which I don’t appreciate.”
“Which part? The life? The business? Both?”
“My business is my life,” I said as we exited out to the front drive and signaled our desire for a cab. “He can’t cause any more trouble for you, Chad. You, Inez, and David are set with Mondego. We’re rolling ahead.”
“Can he cause problems for you?”
“Don’t worry about me.”
He threw his arm around my shoulder and tugged me close. “Of course I’m going to worry about you. You’re my lucky ticket.”
I bumped my hip into his. “To what?”
“As if you don’t know, Gianna darlin’. Fame and fortune.”
* * *
I had to admit, the Southern fried chicken and waffles were damned good. I ate more than I should have and felt as if I practically waddled back up to my hotel room. The urge to take a nap was strong, but Chad and I were meeting with the hotel manager at three-thirty and I was worried I’d still be shaking off sleep fog. It wasn’t a major meeting, just a courtesy meet and greet over coffee, but business was business.
I opened my laptop and sat at the desk, sifting through my emails. I answered two from Lei about David Lee before opening the one from Deanna Johnson that I’d spotted the moment my inbox opened. I pulled my phone out of my purse and powered it on, punching in the cell number listed in the reporter’s signature line. I ignored the notifications of voice mails and texts from Jax.
“Deanna Johnson,” she answered briskly.
“Hi. It’s Gianna Rossi.” Her LinkedIn profile was open in one of the tabs in my browser and I switched to it, looking at her photo. She was a pretty brunette with long hair and dark eyes. She and Vincent had made a good-looking couple when they were dating, their dark coloring making for a visual sync. They hadn’t lasted long, but then, Vincent’s relationships rarely did. He liked having a steady girlfriend, but with the hours he worked at Rossi’s, he wasn’t a steady boyfriend.
“Gianna, hey. How are you?”
I leaned into the headrest and stretched my legs out, kicking off my heels. “I’m good. You?”
“Chasing a story, as always.” Deanna’s voice changed, became more focused. “Vincent says you wanted me to look into something...?”
“Jackson Rutledge.”
“Right. That’s what he said.” She blew out her breath. “Care to tell me why?”
“We’ve been...seeing each other.”
Deanna laughed softly. “An enigmatic millionaire with more secrets than dollars? I know the type.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing it’d be better for my sanity if I walked away. Also knowing I wouldn’t. “I just want to get a better handle on him. I need to know if I’m wasting my time even thinking about trying to make things work.”
“Probably,” she said bluntly. “What are you looking for? I’m not a private investigator, and there are a lot of books out there about the Rutledge family and its various members. Things like ex-girlfriends you can find with a Google search.”
“No, that’s not what I’m interested in. Maybe you can’t help me. Maybe I’m looking for something only he can give up.” I sighed. “I don’t understand why he’ll do anything for his family when he doesn’t always seem like them. He certainly spends a lot of time warning me away from them. I thought he was hiding me like a bad habit, but now I feel like he’s...protecting me from them.”
“If he cares about you that may well be what he’s doing. You gotta figure the Rutledges are like tiger sharks—they swim in the same womb but cannibalize each other until only the strongest comes out alive.”
I froze, remembering what he’d said to me the night before. You’re swimming with sharks and acting like you’re on vacation.
“Okay,” I said carefully, thinking of Jax’s father. “Who’s the strongest shark in that family, then? Parker Rutledge?”
“Without a doubt.”
Jax said his parents had started out as a love match and ended up miserable.... “What do you know about Jax’s mom?”
“Leslie Rutledge? Talk about an enigma. Almost never seen in public the last five years before she died, and she avoided the spotlight even before that.”
“Jax won’t talk about her.”
“I can poke around, see what turns up, but it’ll take some time. Whenever you turn over a Rutledge stone, security teams come crawling out.”
I sighed. I’d been seriously delusional dreaming of a “normal” life with Jax. “I’d appreciate anything you find. And I’ll pay for your time, of course.”
“Sure thing.”
Sitting up, I rolled my shoulders back. I was going to ask Jax outright about his family, but having a Plan B didn’t hurt. Especially considering how things had gone for us so far. “Thanks, Deanna.”
“Hey, take care, okay? Guys like Jax can really fuck you up if you’re not careful.”
“Yeah, I know. Thanks. You take care, too.”
We hung up and I set my smartphone down on the desk. I was back to running through my email when my cell pinged for an incoming text. Looking at the screen, I saw it was from Jax. My feet tapped a little dance on the carpet before I realized what I was doing.
I know you’re thinking about me.
I stared at his message and snorted. “Whatever.”
Obviously, you’re thinking about me, I typed back.
I dreamt about u 2.
That made me smile. Dreaming about Jax was one of my wayward mind’s favorite pastimes. Hope it was a nightmare about me blowing a major business deal for u.
A minute later: It was a wet dream about u blowing me.
I laughed. He’d changed tactics from our earlier conversation, switching from playing hardball to just playing. Jax knew when a particular strategy wasn’t working.
I started typing a reply, but he beat me to it. My phone started ringing. I answered and he spoke before I could even say hello.
“You sucked me so good, baby,” he crooned. “I couldn’t breathe, it felt so good. Your hot little mouth tugging at the head of my dick, your tongue swirling around me, your tight fist jacking me off. I came so hard for you. And you swallowed it all, Gia baby. Every drop.”
For a moment, I couldn’t think of what to say, my mind filled with images of me doing just what he said. I loved going down on Jax. Loved the way he felt...how he tasted and smelled. More than that, I loved the way he lost himself with me, shameless in his pleasure. In those moments, I felt the intimacy with him that I craved so much.
“You’ve always loved sucking my cock,” he said silkily. “And God knows I’d spend every minute in your mouth if I could.”
I found my voice. “Selfish bastard.”
“When it comes to you, yeah.” He sighed. “I’m lying in bed, naked and hard, wondering why the fuck you’re not here yet.”
“Don’t you have something to do?”
“You.”
I heard the sound of his email pinging in the background and laughed. “Liar. You’re working.”
We used to play phone sex games with each other, often leading to both of us getting off simultaneously. There was nothing in the world like hearing him say my name when he was coming.
“Guilty,” he confessed, unabashed. “Trying to keep my mind off you and failing miserably.”
“Probably because what you’re working on is the deal that screwed me over.”
“You promised me a round of angry sex.” He hummed softly, with obvious relish. “I’m waiting for it, baby.”
“Not sure you want your dick anywhere near my teeth while I’m feeling this way about you.”
Jax laughed and my toes curled. He had the best laugh, deep and full-bodied. “Even threats of bodily harm can’t kill this hard-on I’ve got for you. Come over, Gia.”
“Can’t. I’ve got a meeting in a bit.” I stood and walked to the window, feeling restless. Pushing the sheer curtains aside, I looked down at the city of Atlanta. Where was Jax? It was a question I’d been asking myself every day over the past two years. He hadn’t had to ask where I was, though, since he’d had me followed. “Besides, didn’t you say we needed to talk? I doubt you’ll do much of that when I get there.”
He was silent a minute, then, “You’ve got a great family. I’ve always known where I stood with them, good or bad. They don’t bullshit and they don’t waste time on petty crap. They’re good people.”
“Thank you,” I murmured, taking that to heart. I was proud of my family, proud to be a Rossi.
“My family isn’t like that, Gia. Don’t be fooled by Parker’s charm. He only gives the time of day to people who are useful.”
“Jax, I don’t have anything.”
“You have me,” he said grimly.
“Are you saying your dad would use me against you?”
“Maybe. Or he’d just use you, period. It could be anything, babe. Just trust me, there’s an angle.”
I absorbed that for a moment, trying to wrap my head around a father and son who didn’t trust each other. “Is he the reason you stayed away the past couple of years?”
Is he the reason you’re determined to leave me again?
“I stayed away because it’s the best thing for you.”
I hated that non-answer. “Yet here you are. Give me a good reason why I should see you, Jax.”
“Because you want to.”
“I suggest you come up with something better than that.”
He exhaled in a rush. “Because I want you to. Because I need to spend time with you. You make me feel...human. Being with you makes me feel like I’m not a complete piece of shit.”
I closed my eyes, my hand lifting to my chest to rub the ache in my heart. I wanted to know why he always put himself down, why he thought he wasn’t good enough for me. I knew I was going to make a go of it just to try to get those answers. Still, I was honest and told him, “Being with you makes me feel lonely. It reminds me that I want to find someone to be steady in my life. Someone I can depend on.”
“I wish I was that guy,” he said quietly.
“Yeah. Me, too.”
2
I INTERRUPTED MY sister-in-law the instant she answered the phone. “Traitor!”
Denise paused in the middle of reciting the name of her beauty salon, then said, “So he called you, eh?”
“He’s here!” I sat on the edge of my bed with a groan.
“He’s in Atlanta? Are you serious?” Denise whistled. I heard a squeak in the background and could picture her sitting on the hot-pink stool behind the front counter of her shop. “He’s got it bad for you.”
“I can’t believe you ratted me out like that. Don’t you think if I’d wanted him to know where I was, I would’ve told him?”
“Come on. I’ve never seen you look at a guy the way you look at him. You can’t blame me for wanting you to be happy.”
“He deserves to stew a bit, Denise. He deserves to miss me and wonder what I’m doing.”
“Ah, I feel you. Sorry.”
I kicked out my legs, my gaze dropping to my pedicure. “No, you’re not.”
“I’m a little sorry,” she amended. “So, are you two going to kiss and make up?”
“It’s not like that.”
“So tell me what it’s like.”
“Boy meets girl, boy ditches girl, boy pops up again two years later, boy screws girl and then almost screws her big business deal, boy wants to screw girl again—maybe both ways—but this time, boy says up front that he’ll be ditching girl again at some point.”
“Hmm.” Her chewing gum bubble popped loudly. “If I hadn’t seen the way boy looks at girl, I might tell you to kick him to the curb.”
“Probably the smart thing to do. So what’s your alternative?”
“Screw him senseless. Rock his world. Show him what he’ll be missing. Make it hurt when he decides it’s time to walk away so he won’t go through with it.”
If only it were that easy. “I think that’s an asinine plan.”
“Maybe.” She laughed, and I smiled reluctantly. “But that’s a fine piece of prime male ass, Gianna. There are worse things a girl can do than spend a few hours in bed with a hot guy who’s in love with her.”
She was saying what I’d wanted to hear—some excuse to go forward instead of cutting my losses and running. “You’re an enabler, Denise!”
“Whatev. If Jackson’s bad for you, think about how good sex is. It’s great for the complexion, good exercise, an awesome mood booster—”
I rolled my eyes. “Hanging up now.”
“Love you!” she said quickly.
“Love you, too.” I killed the call and stood for a moment, lightly tapping my chin with the end of my phone.
I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to just walk away, even for my own self-preservation. Jax loved me enough that walking away was the only end he’d consider. Maybe Denise was onto something. Maybe instead of pushing back all the time, I had to love him with everything I had. Really make him feel it, so he’d miss it when it was gone, enough to bring him back to me.
Problem with that, though, was that he’d screwed me businesswise. And I couldn’t let it go. That was a cut that ran deep.
* * *
Chad and Rick, the hotel manager, hit it off right away. I enjoyed listening to the two talk with their Southern drawls, charmed by both men and entertained to boot. But when Rick extended an invitation to dinner, I declined after Chad accepted, not wanting to cramp his style. I figured it was important for him to feel connected on his own, without me hovering all the time. I wasn’t his babysitter, and I didn’t want him to feel as if I didn’t trust him to handle his business on his own.
When I got back to my room, I called Lei.
“Gianna,” she said when she picked up, knowing it was me from the office’s caller ID. “How are things going in Atlanta?”
“Chad’s feeling good,” I said. “He’s been comfortable and relaxed, and really excited. The visit did what we’d hoped.”
Perceptive as she was, she asked, “And you? Are you feeling good, too?”
“Jackson followed me down here.” I didn’t share that personal detail with my boss, or dish like I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I told her because there was no way around a possible conflict of interest. I wasn’t going to let Jax jeopardize my job any further.
“Did he?” Her tone was thoughtful. “Well... How do you feel about that?”
“I’m not sure. No,” I amended, “that’s not true. I’m pissed off that he’s made an already complicated relationship more complicated by investing in Pembry Ventures. Not just that, but he called Isabelle directly to solidify her defecting. I can’t trust him, Lei.”
Every time I thought about what he’d done, I got angry all over again.
“That’s a fatal flaw.”
“I know it.” The thing was, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jax had deliberately moved to put a wedge between us. But I couldn’t decide if that motivation made him less dangerous or more so. “I need you to tell me if I’m risking my job.”
“You know you are. I’m not going to fire you over who you date, Gianna. That’s your business. But if he happens to make another move that looks like he got a tip from you—whether it was done deliberately or not—I’ll have to let you go, because then we’re talking about my business. Got it?”
My stomach knotted. “Got it.”
“All right.” Her voice softened. “What’s on the agenda tomorrow?”
I told her. While I spoke calmly and steadily, I couldn’t shake the fear that had taken root. I’d planned my whole future around my job and I didn’t have a Plan B.
“Let me know what Chad thinks of the architect’s renderings when he sees them. And take care of yourself, Gianna. You’re not just an employee to me. I think you know that.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I do. Thanks, Lei.”
We hung up and I threw my phone on the bed. A headache was building and I loosened the clip that rolled my hair into a neat chignon at my nape. I really hated Jax at that moment. I didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions he’d been stirring up in me since he had walked back into my life. I kept shifting from wanting to heal whatever was wounding him to wanting to hurt him myself.
Ping. Incoming text.
When I saw Going crazy waiting 4 u from Jax, I let it all explode.
I called him. Everything that was wrong in my life was his fault and he needed to know that.
“Tell me you’re in the lobby,” he said in greeting, his voice husky.
I didn’t screw around. “I love my job. It’s the most important thing in my life, and I’m in danger of losing it because of you.”
It took him a second to switch gears. “Fuck. Gia—”
“If you love me at all, you’ll tell me right now if this is going to end with me jobless. You can get easy pussy, Jax. You don’t need mine.”
“Jesus.” He exhaled roughly. “I’ve done what business I intend to do with Ian Pembry.”
It was another non-answer. I was sick of them. He gave them for damn near everything.
I hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed. I started undressing, wanting to take a shower and scrub the day off.
My phone started ringing. Click. Time to shut that sucker down for the night.
I took my room phone off the hook, too, before he could start in on me that way. I’d come to Atlanta for some time away from Jax, and I needed it, despite how my body protested the idea of being denied him.
“I don’t need him to have an orgasm,” I scolded myself aloud. Of course that didn’t address what I really loved about sex with Jax—the man himself.
Twenty minutes later, my hair was wrapped up in a towel on my head and I was on the phone with room service. An impatient, angry rap on the door startled me enough to make me jump.
I knew who it was before Jax said, “Open the damned door, Gia.”
My jaw clenched. There was no way in hell the hotel had given out my room number. It irritated me to no end that Jax had the connections to circumvent the rules everyone else lived by.
I returned my attention to my call. “You know what? Make that a bottle of Ste. Michelle instead of a glass, please. Thank you.”
Jax knocked with even more impatience.
I hung up and glared at the door. “Fuck you,” I snapped.
“You’re acting like a child.” Even muffled through the door, his voice resonated with fury.
“Get a clue, Jax. I don’t want to see you.”
“That’s too damn bad. You can’t stay in there forever, Gia, but I can put a guard on your door who’ll make sure that when you come out, you come straight to me. It’s your choice how you want this to go.”
Narrow-eyed, I slapped the security bar back and yanked the door open. Jax immediately crowded me, forcing me back into the room. I caught barely a glimpse of a guy in a suit behind Jax’s big frame, then Jax kicked the door shut behind him.
I backed up quickly, my gaze darting down the length of his body. He was dressed in black slacks and a matching vest, his gray shirt and tie not softening the dark vibe. His hair looked as if he’d been running his fingers through it, the longer strands falling over his forehead in sexy disarray. His brown eyes were hot as they catalogued my appearance, his irritation evident in the scowl that furrowed his brow.
He’d said I was sexy as hell when I was mad at him and I understood what he meant when confronted by over six feet of angry, bristling masculinity. The angles of his gorgeous face were tight, his jaw rigid, the sensual curve of his lips firmed into an unyielding line. He looked dangerous and fiercely sexual.
“I’m getting real tired of you cutting things off,” he said, clenching his teeth.
“Boy do I know that feeling.”
He glanced at the ceiling as if he were praying for patience. “Is Yeung giving you a hard time?”
“No.” I crossed my arms, wishing I were wearing more than the hotel-provided robe, which was a thin shield for my nakedness underneath. “She’s actually been remarkably forgiving, all things considered.”
He watched me back carefully away. He filled the entryway of the room, blocking the exit, the closet, and the bathroom. The Mondego was a really nice hotel, beautifully decorated with understated elegance, but this suite was nowhere near as fabulous as the one Jax had taken me to in New Jersey. “My deal with Pembry has nothing to do with you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
His brows rose. “You don’t? Or Yeung doesn’t?”
“Me. I’m sure you had a few reasons why you did it, but I’m also pretty sure I was one of the reasons. And since it’s worked out so well and made me seriously consider how much of a liability you are, I can’t be sure you won’t pull something else that makes me hate you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to end things because you can’t.”
His face revealed no expression, but something in his eyes changed. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because you’re afraid of me. Especially the way you feel about me.”
“Am I?”
“That, or your dad has you running scared. Which is it?”
“I’ve told you what he’s like,” Jax said softly.
That stopped my retreat. “I guess I have more faith in you than you have in yourself. I think you can take him on, Jax. I trust that you’d watch out for me.”
He laughed and it was a horrible, humorless sound. “You think I’d protect you from the big bad wolf?”
I stared at him, shocked, never having seen this bitter side of him. The next thing I knew, he had me in his powerful grip, his body curling into me and his face close to mine. He was impossibly beautiful. The most stunning man I’d ever seen. And he was seriously pissed.
“I am the big bad wolf, baby,” he growled. “You want to be with me? You want to be my girlfriend? You want to go to parties with me...events...have dinner with the family?”
“Yes!” I lifted onto my tiptoes. “I’m sick of being your booty call, Jax. You’ve got dozens of women for that. I deserve better!”
“Dozens? I’ve damn near been a monk since I met you! Two women, Gia. Two. And since you fucked two guys, you’ve got no room to talk. I’m entitled to those two, as pointless as they were.”
I gasped, horrified that he’d watched me close enough to know how many men I had slept with since we’d been apart.
“You want the whole deal?” he snapped. “Fine. Your life is about to change completely. Your privacy is a thing of the past. You’re going—”
“As if I had any privacy! My God, you’ve been stalking me for years. Are you—?”
“Gia, every questionable thing you’ve ever done is about to become tomorrow’s news. Your brothers’ lives are up for grabs, too. And that goes for your parents and friends, too. Go out in public and the photographers will follow. From how you vote to what you’re wearing, everything is fair game.”
I swallowed hard.
“You’re going to move in with me. You’ll be safe in my apartment, but I can’t say what your brothers will have to deal with. Or your sister-in-law. There’ll be security with you at all times. And I don’t want to hear about how inconvenient it is to constantly have someone with you, someone you’ll have to report your schedule to.”
“You can’t scare me,” I whispered, but it was a lie. My heart was pounding with anxiety. I had always been incredibly protective of my family. Whenever they were threatened, I came out swinging.
“Oh, I will,” he warned darkly. “You’ve had nothing but the best of me so far, but if you want it all, that’s what you’ll get. The good and the really fucking ugly.”
“Bring it on,” I challenged, getting angry again. He was deliberately being an ass.
“I travel a lot. You’re going to have some late nights that will bore you to tears, only to get up the next day to go to work. I’ll tell you what to wear, what to say, how to act. It’s what I do, Gia. Image is everything in politics and business, but you’ve already figured that out, haven’t you? You’ve laid a lot of the groundwork for me. Sometimes, I barely recognize you.”
I rebelled, yanking myself away from him. “Thank you, Jax,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “You’ve made the decision really easy for me.”
His mouth curled in a cruel smile. “Scared you off, did I?”
I was so frustrated with his crap, I wanted to scream. We’d never been nasty to each other. More than anything, I was desperate to put distance between us.
“I’d face all that and more for a guy who really loved me,” I told him coldly. “But I’m not putting up with this shit from a jerk.”
He looked ready to smash his clenched fist through the wall.
I waved toward the door. “Please leave, Jax. I don’t want to look at you right now.” Another lie. I would never get tired of looking at him. But I was tired of dealing with him. I’d wanted a break for a reason.
“I give it to you straight and you flip.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and cursed.
“No,” I corrected. “You wanted to scare me straight and you’re getting what you wanted. I’m settling for a fuck-only arrangement, but I’ll do so on my time, not yours. I’ll call you when I want you, so don’t bother calling me—I won’t answer. And stop popping up where I am. It’s creepy.”
“Damn it.” Jax stepped forward, reaching for me.
I backed up quickly. “Don’t touch me.”
His dark eyes bored into mine. “You might as well tell me to stop breathing. What the fuck do you want from me, Gia? I’m trying to give you what you’re asking for, and it’s still not enough.”
“Damn right! You set up all those pitfalls and didn’t leave me any way out. Why would I want to take the first step?”
“Living under a microscope is part of my life! I can’t change it.”
“You could’ve said something like, ‘Listen, Gia, sharing my life won’t be easy, but I love you. I’ll do the best I can to make sure our private life is worth the public hell.’ Or something like that!”
“Jesus.” He made a frustrated sound. “This isn’t a goddamned romance novel! I’m just a guy trying to give in to what you want so I can have you.”
As if. He knew what I wanted and he was fighting it all the way. “Well, now you can have your life and me—when I’m in the mood.” I held up a warning hand. “Not now. Believe me. I’ll call you when I get back to New York.”
“Fine. Whatever.” He pivoted and strode to the door, his back stiff and shoulders rigid.
There was still a part of me that wanted to cave, to drag him back and tell him to stay, to sleep with him and feel that incredible intimacy and sensual closeness I’d never felt with anyone else. But we had a lot of thinking to do and we needed time—and space—to do it.
Jax yanked the door open and stepped out to the hallway. I swallowed the words stuck in my throat and reached for my smartphone on the bed, using it as a distraction to avoid watching him leave.
I heard the door shut and closed my eyes, breathing out a shaky exhalation. We weren’t going to recover from this. This was going to change what we’d had. Forever.
“I...”
My lungs seized in surprise at the sound of Jax’s voice.
“I love you. Okay? I love you so much it’s driving me crazy.”
I reached for the desk chair, trying to support my weakened knees. I’d wanted to hear him say the words, but now that I had, they didn’t sink in. I didn’t realize how upset he was until his hands gripped my upper arms and he buried his face in my neck.
“I want you in my home,” he said softly. “I want to wake up to you, go to sleep holding you, to come home from work and eat dinner with you. I want what we had in Las Vegas, but things were different then. I had you all to myself. It’s not going to be that way now.”
I reached up with my right hand and set it over his left. “I get it. I can deal with it.”
“I hope so,” he murmured, turning me around. “Because I’m not going to be able to let you go after this, Gia. For better or worse, you’re mine.”
3
“IF YOU’RE STILL trying to scare me,” I whispered, overcome, “you’ll have to do better than that.”
Jax laughed softly, huskily. “I’m scared enough for both of us.”
He cupped my face, tilting it up to kiss me. The moment his firm lips touched mine, love pierced my heart, making it ache. I caught his waist, pushing up onto my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Heat and hunger slid through me, provoked by the beloved smell of him...the feel of his warmth and hard body...the taste of him.
He groaned, drawing me closer. I’d been starved for him for so long that appeasing my craving seemed impossible. My tongue tangled with his, licking into his mouth, my mouth slanting across his with unabashed ravenousness.
“Come here.” He tugged at the tie of my robe, pushing it open and then down to where my elbows were bent.
I let him go only long enough to allow the sleeves to slide off so the robe dropped on the floor.
“God.” He pulled me into him, molding my naked body fully against him.
The buttons of his vest pressed into my skin, driving home the realization that he was clothed, dressed for work in a way I’d never seen when we were together in Vegas. Turning my head, I looked into the mirror on the wall and shivered at our reflection—Jax, so formal and dark, a dangerously sexy businessman; and me, naked and shameless.
“Look at us,” I whispered, watching as his gaze found us. Watching the lust tighten his face into primal masculine beauty.
His chin nuzzled against my temple, his eyes closing. “You’re so beautiful, baby. So goddamned hot you burn me up. I’m so afraid of fucking this up. Of looking at you one day and finding that you’ve lost that light in your eyes you have when you’re looking at me.”
“Jax.” He’d always made me feel as if no other woman had ever compared to me. But as thrilled as I was to finally have him, the pain he’d put me through still throbbed like an unhealed wound. “You hurt me,” I told him softly. “You broke my heart.”
His forehead touched mine. “I hurt us both. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but I have no idea how this is going to play out or how you’ll take to living my life with me.”
“I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, too.” I started on the buttons of his vest, freeing them one by one. “We just have to love each other.”
He tilted his head and took my mouth again, kissing me with such tenderness my eyes stung. His hands slid up my torso, splaying under my breasts with his thumbs beneath the curves. The pads stroked the sensitive undersides, making my nipples harden. I whimpered, begging for a more carnal touch. The deep-seated ache in my core was painful, my sex already wet and ready.
It had always been that way with Jax, as if my body recognized his as the one it’d been built to take.
Jax exploded into motion, picking me up effortlessly and laying me on the bed. The towel wrapped around my hair loosened and fell off. He positioned himself over me, his hands planted at my sides. He ran the tip of his nose up my cleavage. “Tell me you have a condom.”
I bit my lip, regretting that I had to shake my head.
His eyes closed again and he took a deep breath. “I’ll keep my clothes on.”
“Jax...” There was a plea in my voice, because I couldn’t imagine not feeling him inside me. So hard and long and thick.
His head lifted and I shivered at the raging lust in his dark eyes, knowing exactly how it would feel to have it unleashed on me. “There’s no way I’d pull out,” he said, his voice guttural with desire. “No way.”
I opened my mouth to say it was okay...that I was on the pill...that I wanted to feel him come inside me without anything between us...but the doorbell rang, followed by a quick “Room service.”
I moaned.
A pained look crossed his face. Then he laughed softly. “Saved by the bell.”
“Wait—”
But he was already grabbing my robe off the floor and draping it over me. “Don’t move,” he ordered.
He got the door, barred the server from entering, and took care of everything in the hallway. When he reappeared, he was carrying the tray in one hand, deftly balancing the bottle of wine, wineglass, and a dome-covered meal.
Setting it all on the desk, he glanced at me as I sat up, my legs stretching out in front of me. “You’re killing me.”
“You deserve it.”
Jax’s mouth curved wryly. “I don’t doubt it. Still, there’s only so much a desperate man can take. I have to get out of here.”
I pouted. “Spoilsport.”
“Get your sexy ass back to New York, and I’ll give you all you can take.” He ran a hand through his hair, restoring order to it. “I’m going to start making the arrangements for your return.”
My brows rose. “You have to make arrangements to fuck me?”
“No, for you to move in. And I have to let you eat so you have the strength for everything I’ll do to you while fucking you.” He grabbed me as I pushed to my feet and gave me a quick, hard kiss. “And if you’re ready to go raw with me, we do it right—in our own apartment, in our own bed.”
I swallowed hard. “I have to talk to my brothers. My parents.”
“We’ll do it together.”
“You’re moving fast for a guy who just had his hand forced.”
A softness came over Jax’s face. “I’ve thought about this for a while. Tried to plan it in my head...come up with a way to make it work....”
“Maybe it won’t be as hard as you think.”
He brushed my damp hair back behind my ears. “The media is going to love you, Gia,” he murmured. “You’re a walking wet dream. You’ve got sex appeal, baby, and a body that won’t quit. They’re going to take a look at you and see me looking at you, and they’re going to imagine hot, salacious monkey sex. And that’s news.”
I shoved at him. “Be serious!”
“They’re going to get it wrong, and think I’m just having a good time with you. They’ll start speculating right away on how long it’ll last. They’ll pair us with other people, inventing news just to have an excuse to publish another picture of you.”
I’d seen it before, with other couples. But Jax and I were different. We weren’t celebrities. I was nobody, and even though he was a Rutledge, he worked behind the scenes of the political circles that had made his family so well-known.
“You don’t believe me.” He rubbed his temple against mine. “You’ll have to trust me. I’ve seen what can happen. I’ve seen the stress rip people apart.”
A niggling suspicion spurred me to ask, “Someone you cared about?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
Jax pulled back and I saw that he’d shut down. “She checked out,” he said tonelessly. “I’m not going to let that happen with you.”
My fingers flexed into his lean waist. It was hard thinking about Jax loving someone else. It was harder still thinking about his former lover hurting him so deeply that he’d pushed me away to avoid becoming vulnerable again.
He kissed my forehead. “When are you coming home?”
“Day after tomorrow.”
“All right. See if we can’t get together with your family that night. We’ll get you moved in the next day.”
I felt as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump, without any idea of where I might land. “You’re making my head spin.”
Backing up a step, he winked. “Just returning the favor, babe.”
* * *
“You’re miles away.”
The sound of Chad’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at him sitting in the seat next to me on the plane and offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”
“Should I be worried?”
I shook my head. “It’s personal.”
His brows rose. “Good for me, maybe. Not so good for you it looks like. Wanna talk about it?”
I debated just how personal I wanted to get with Chad, then asked, “Have you ever lived with a girlfriend?”
“Not really. There were one or two who spent a lot of time at my house, which was convenient as far as sex went, but wasn’t great for privacy or hanging with the guys. I figure I’ll save that kind of commitment for marriage. Why do you ask?”
“I’m just thinking I agree with you about the commitment level.”
The amusement in his eyes faded. “Rutledge asked you to move in?”
“Something like that.” Told me was more like it, but...
He took a second. “I may have a problem with that.”
“Oh?” I twisted in my seat to face him more directly.
“You’ve known this guy a couple years, you said. But he only starts putting the heat on after you start working with me? He helps to break up my deal with Stacy, then follows that up with nabbing Isabelle. Now he’s wanting to share digs with you, the gal that’s got all my info and knows all my plans?”
Taking a deep breath, I processed what he’d said. “The day before yesterday, you seemed easier with it.”
“I’ve been doing some thinking.”
Okay. Crap. I felt like I’d been blindsided. “I don’t think it’s personal. In fact, I know it’s not. Jax always says business should never be personal.”
“It’s personal to me,” he shot back. That hit home. I’d said something similar to Jax when he’d thrown that line at me. “And it’s personal to Stacy. She’s not just going to want to succeed—she’ll want to be better than me. Have more than me. She’s going to want to prove that I made the wrong decision, and he’s on her side! Pembry’s got a lot riding on her. They’re going to want to keep her happy.”
He wasn’t wrong, damn it all.
“It works both ways,” I pointed out quietly. “I’m going to know what he’s into, too.”
I hadn’t really thought of my relationship with Jax that way before, as a situation that required tiptoeing around issues. Hadn’t wanted to. I wanted things with us to be real and straight and beautiful. But everyone I worked with wasn’t in sync with that hope, including Jax. Of course, Jax expected the hits to come from the outside, but no matter what, it seemed as though I needed to be a little more realistic about what being with Jax was going to entail.
You’re swimming with sharks....
Chad assessed me. “No offense, Gianna. But Rutledge might be out of your league.”
“Oh, he is for sure. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle him. That said—” I took a deep breath “—if you want someone else to spearhead your projects with Savor, I’d understand.”
His lips pursed. “I hate to say it, but that might be best.”
* * *
I’d planned on heading straight into work after landing at LaGuardia, but decided to stop at home first instead. My conversation with Chad had rattled me and I really felt as though I needed some time to pull myself together before going in to face Lei.
I slid open the large metal front door to the loft and found two of my brothers on the couch, playing a video game.
“Catch that one, dude,” Angelo snapped, jerking his controller to the right. “Come on! Fucker’s about to take me out.”
“Hang on.” Vincent surged to his feet, frantically hitting buttons. “I’ve got six of them on me.”
I paused on the threshold, feeling so grateful to be home. “Behind you!” I shouted to Angelo as a zombie lumbered up to his avatar.
Both guys jumped and two pairs of dark eyes swung toward me.
“You scared the shit out of me!” Vincent complained, hitting Pause on his split screen.
“Hey,” Angelo greeted me, returning his attention to his game. “How was Hotlanta?”
“Hot,” I said wryly, turning to pull the door closed behind me. The apartment smelled like bacon, and I could see the remnants of breakfast on the counter and sink. The guys were too used to having dishwashers take care of things at Rossi’s.
“You got the day off?” Vincent asked, strolling over. Dressed in shorts and nothing else, he reminded me why my high school friends had been so eager to come over to my house all the time.
“Nah. I gotta show up,” I said. “Just wanted to drop off my stuff.”
“Get your ass back over here,” Angelo muttered. “I’m getting slaughtered by these freaks.”
Vincent rolled his eyes. “Damn. I was hoping you’d take over the game, Gianna. You and Nico are the ones who like this shit.”
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Sylvia Day
#1 New York Times Bestselling AuthorAmerica’s premier author of provocative fiction delivers the dramatic finale to a series set within the inner circle of glamour, sex and privilege.When it came to playing games, my lover Jax was a master strategist. He pulled strings behind the closed doors of D.C.’s most powerful political players, and somehow still found time to nearly sideline my career. What he didn’t know was that when I didn’t like the rules, I threw them out and made my own. I wasn’t going to let Jax get away with it. I wasn’t going to let him get away at all.I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to give up. Jax loved me enough that giving up was the only end he’d consider. He didn’t think I could swim with the sharks. It was entirely my pleasure to show him that I’d already dived in…
Bestselling Author Sylvia Day
No 1 International Bestselling author of provocative fiction delivers the dramatic finale to a series set within the inner circle of glamour, sex and privilege.
When it came to playing games, my lover, Jax, was a master strategist. He pulled strings behind the closed doors of D.C.’s most powerful political players and somehow still found time to nearly sideline my career. What he didn’t know was that when I didn’t like the rules, I threw them out and made my own. I wasn’t going to let Jax get away with it. I wasn’t going to let him get away at all.
I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to give up. Jax loved me enough that giving up was the only end he’d consider. He didn’t think I could swim with the sharks. It was entirely my pleasure to show him that I’d already dived in….
Contemporary, sexy stories for sassy women
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon
www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo)
Dedication
This one is for all the Cosmo girls.
Acknowledgments
My gratitude to Kimberly Whalen, Ann Leslie Tuttle, and Dianne Moggy—the fun, fearless women taking this journey with me.
And to my dear readers, who inspire me every day. Thank you!
Dear Reader,
I’m so excited to be sharing Jackson and Gianna’s story with you. While Jax and Gia are discovering the possibilities of second chances, we’re exploring new opportunities with this collaboration between Mills & Boon, Cosmopolitan and me. Like every Cosmo girl out there, I’m always thrilled to blaze new trails.
I’ve been a Cosmo girl and romance reader for nearly as long as I can remember. Through every stage of my life, from high school through to marriage and parenthood, I have had the latest issue of Cosmopolitan and a romance novel (or few) on my coffee and bedside tables. You’re never beyond being fun, fearless and fabulous, and we all deserve to find our one-in-a-million guy.
I hope you enjoy Gianna’s story as she takes the New York business world—and Jackson!—by storm. I look forward to talking with you about it after you’ve turned the last page. You can find me here: www.sylviaday.com/community (http://www.sylviaday.com/community).
Stay fierce!
Sylvia
Aftershock
Sylvia Day
Contemporary, sexy stories for sassy women
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon
www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo)
Contents
Chapter One (#u0e77cdb7-4da4-56e2-87c5-aed0c9d012a0)
Chapter Two (#ude07f013-4653-59b1-adbe-8b3b8bbbf311)
Chapter Three (#u7fd0681a-91ec-5c6b-82ae-2a2fc96b801c)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Cosmo Quiz (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
1
“THAT MAN IS seriously hot. He can take my order anytime.”
I scowled at the television in my hotel room as I unpacked my toiletries. God knew why I’d tuned in to a midday talk show, but I certainly hadn’t expected to see the man I loved on the screen...or to listen to the glamorous hosts dish about how hot he was.
“Maybe he’s going to put voting booths in every Pembry-backed restaurant,” the other one said.
Shaking my head, I headed into the bathroom. Jax’s investment in Pembry Ventures still stung. I wasn’t sure I’d ever forgive him for fucking me over like that. Maybe I shouldn’t take it so personally, maybe it was just business, but there were some things you just didn’t do to someone you love and screwing up their job—an adored job at that—was one of them.
I was determined to uncover the reason why. And I was going to make him pay. Being in love with him wouldn’t change that. I wasn’t sure it changed anything.
I’d just hung my makeup bag on the towel rack when the room phone started ringing. Knowing I probably took a lot more time than Chad did to unpack, I expected he was ready to head down to see the construction site of his restaurant in the very same hotel we were staying in. The Atlanta Mondego was being turned into a destination with a capital D, and I would soon have the dust on the soles of my Jimmy Choos to prove it.
Grabbing the receiver off the bathroom wall, I tucked it into the crook of my neck and said, “Hey. You settled in already?”
“Gia, damn it. Turn on your cell phone!”
Jax’s deep, sexy voice slid across my senses, bringing with it a rush of heated and beloved memories. Something inside me tingled with pleasure that he’d gone to the trouble of tracking me down. Jackson Rutledge was a busy guy with his pick of women. Following me around the country was entirely unnecessary. And really flattering.
I leaned against the bathroom counter. “Newsflash—I’m avoiding you.”
“Good luck with that.”
My jaw tightened. So what if he was an animal in bed? So what if I was happy to hear from him? I was still mad at him. “I’m hanging up now.”
“You can’t run from me,” he said tightly. “And you can’t pull that shit you pulled yesterday. We need to talk.”
“I agree, but that usually means you tell me I’m only ever going to be a fuck buddy to you and you don’t give me any reasons why. I don’t have the patience to run around in circles. Unless you’ve got real answers for me, I’m not giving you any more of my time.”
“You’re going to give me a hell of a lot more than time, Gia.”
A shiver of awareness moved through me. I knew that tone of his. It was his I’m-going-to-bang-the-hell-out-of-you tone. “You wish.”
“I’m about to land, Gia. I’ll be at the hotel within the hour and you’re going to see me.”
“What?” My pulse gave a traitorous leap of excitement. My sex drive had been revved since I’d left him the night before. It was all too eager to cross the finish line. “I can’t believe you followed me to Atlanta! How the hell did you know where I was?”
“Your sister-in-law.”
Denise was going to be hearing from me. She knew better, which meant she’d done it on purpose. “Well, turn around and fly home again. I’m working, Jax. I don’t trust you to be around my work.”
His sharply indrawn breath told me I’d scored a hit.
“Fine,” he snapped. “I’ll send a car for you. We’ll meet at my hotel.”
“I’ve got stuff to do today. I’ll let you know when I have a moment, and I’ll find a neutral place for us to meet.” A bar, maybe, or even a shopping mall. Someplace where intimacy wouldn’t be a problem. Sadly, I couldn’t trust myself around him now that I knew how he felt about me.
“My hotel, Gia,” he reiterated. “A public place won’t save you. We’re going to fuck, long and hard, wherever we end up. Better we don’t end up in jail and splashed all over the tabloids while doing it, don’t you think?”
“You’ve really got to do something about that ego.”
“Baby, I’ll crawl on my hands and knees if that’s what it takes.”
It was my turn to suck in a deep breath. He knew how to get to me, how to open me up and leave me defenseless. I tried to do the same thing to him. “Tell me you love me, Jax.”
There was a moment of silence. “Loving each other isn’t our problem.”
He hung up, leaving me holding on to an empty connection. As usual.
* * *
“It’s finally starting to feel real,” Chad said, looking around at the construction area.
I smiled. “Good.”
He reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. He’d met me at the site, wearing an open-collar dress shirt tucked into loose-fitting jeans. His auburn hair was just barely overlong, with the bangs draping across his brow and framing his stunning green eyes. No doubt about it, Chad Williams was a hunk.
He’d drawn a lot of female attention on the way in, but he hadn’t paid any mind to it. I hoped he would stay unaffected at least until the first restaurant opened. I’d seen more than a few chefs get too cocky from attention overload, and their businesses quickly suffered as a result.
“So what happens next?” he asked, turning to face me.
“The Mondego was just waiting for signed contracts to begin serious construction,” I explained. “The architect will revamp the initial design to accommodate three chefs. When we agree it works for you, we’ll sign off on it and they’ll get to work.”
“God.” He blew out his breath and grinned. “I can’t wait to see them.”
“We’ll get to look at the existing plans tomorrow, which should give us a good idea of how it’s going to be laid out. When we get back to New York, we’ll bring you, Inez, and David together to start hashing out the dueling menus. It’ll be good to come up with some regional variations based on hotel locations.”
Chad nodded. “How much say will they have in the whole process?”
“In their menus, a lot,” I said honestly. “We picked them for their talent and we need to let them do what they do best. But outside of that, you’ve got the ultimate say. You’re the celebrity chef here. They’re riding your coattails for now.”
His mouth twisted ruefully. “I hope that doesn’t cause any problems.”
“I suspect it’ll be easier than working with your sister.”
“Ha! No doubt.”
He joked, but I saw a hint of sadness in his expressive eyes. Things would’ve been better all around if Stacy had followed through and undertaken this endeavor with him. Jax had contributed to that breakdown between the siblings, which was ironic considering how much he did for his own family.
“Have you called her since the news broke about Rutledge Capital and Pembry Ventures?” I asked gently.
His mouth thinned. “Why? So she can gloat?”
“So you can congratulate her. You know, extend an olive branch.”
“She’d be an ass about it.”
“Maybe.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “But you’ll feel better if you do. And later on, when she comes around, you can hold it over her.”
That coaxed out a huff of a laugh. “I’ll think about it.”
“In the meantime, are you hungry?”
“Starved. Let’s eat.” He held his arm out to me and I took it. “There are a lot of great fried chicken and waffle places around these parts.”
“Waffles and fried chicken? At the same time?”
“It’s a delicious combination, sweetheart. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried it.”
“Sounds like it’ll kill me, though. Or at least help me pack on another ten pounds I don’t need.”
Chad lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles. “In that case, I’d help you take them back off.”
“You are a naughty man, Chad Williams,” I admonished, but with a smile. His harmless flirting was a nice contrast to Jax, who was entirely dangerous in every way.
As if he read my mind, he said, “For what it’s worth, Lei gave me the heads-up that you’ve got a thing going with Jackson Rutledge.”
I tensed, surprised, then realized Lei was right to have done that. Better to deal with any issues now than to have Chad find out later and feel that we deliberately kept something from him. “We saw each other briefly a couple years ago.”
“And now?” He glanced at me. “Is he the guy who sent you the flowers?”
“Yes. Now he’s...” I thought of him in his private jet, flying after me. Wanting to see me. Sleep with me. “He’s back in my life and involved in my business, which I don’t appreciate.”
“Which part? The life? The business? Both?”
“My business is my life,” I said as we exited out to the front drive and signaled our desire for a cab. “He can’t cause any more trouble for you, Chad. You, Inez, and David are set with Mondego. We’re rolling ahead.”
“Can he cause problems for you?”
“Don’t worry about me.”
He threw his arm around my shoulder and tugged me close. “Of course I’m going to worry about you. You’re my lucky ticket.”
I bumped my hip into his. “To what?”
“As if you don’t know, Gianna darlin’. Fame and fortune.”
* * *
I had to admit, the Southern fried chicken and waffles were damned good. I ate more than I should have and felt as if I practically waddled back up to my hotel room. The urge to take a nap was strong, but Chad and I were meeting with the hotel manager at three-thirty and I was worried I’d still be shaking off sleep fog. It wasn’t a major meeting, just a courtesy meet and greet over coffee, but business was business.
I opened my laptop and sat at the desk, sifting through my emails. I answered two from Lei about David Lee before opening the one from Deanna Johnson that I’d spotted the moment my inbox opened. I pulled my phone out of my purse and powered it on, punching in the cell number listed in the reporter’s signature line. I ignored the notifications of voice mails and texts from Jax.
“Deanna Johnson,” she answered briskly.
“Hi. It’s Gianna Rossi.” Her LinkedIn profile was open in one of the tabs in my browser and I switched to it, looking at her photo. She was a pretty brunette with long hair and dark eyes. She and Vincent had made a good-looking couple when they were dating, their dark coloring making for a visual sync. They hadn’t lasted long, but then, Vincent’s relationships rarely did. He liked having a steady girlfriend, but with the hours he worked at Rossi’s, he wasn’t a steady boyfriend.
“Gianna, hey. How are you?”
I leaned into the headrest and stretched my legs out, kicking off my heels. “I’m good. You?”
“Chasing a story, as always.” Deanna’s voice changed, became more focused. “Vincent says you wanted me to look into something...?”
“Jackson Rutledge.”
“Right. That’s what he said.” She blew out her breath. “Care to tell me why?”
“We’ve been...seeing each other.”
Deanna laughed softly. “An enigmatic millionaire with more secrets than dollars? I know the type.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing it’d be better for my sanity if I walked away. Also knowing I wouldn’t. “I just want to get a better handle on him. I need to know if I’m wasting my time even thinking about trying to make things work.”
“Probably,” she said bluntly. “What are you looking for? I’m not a private investigator, and there are a lot of books out there about the Rutledge family and its various members. Things like ex-girlfriends you can find with a Google search.”
“No, that’s not what I’m interested in. Maybe you can’t help me. Maybe I’m looking for something only he can give up.” I sighed. “I don’t understand why he’ll do anything for his family when he doesn’t always seem like them. He certainly spends a lot of time warning me away from them. I thought he was hiding me like a bad habit, but now I feel like he’s...protecting me from them.”
“If he cares about you that may well be what he’s doing. You gotta figure the Rutledges are like tiger sharks—they swim in the same womb but cannibalize each other until only the strongest comes out alive.”
I froze, remembering what he’d said to me the night before. You’re swimming with sharks and acting like you’re on vacation.
“Okay,” I said carefully, thinking of Jax’s father. “Who’s the strongest shark in that family, then? Parker Rutledge?”
“Without a doubt.”
Jax said his parents had started out as a love match and ended up miserable.... “What do you know about Jax’s mom?”
“Leslie Rutledge? Talk about an enigma. Almost never seen in public the last five years before she died, and she avoided the spotlight even before that.”
“Jax won’t talk about her.”
“I can poke around, see what turns up, but it’ll take some time. Whenever you turn over a Rutledge stone, security teams come crawling out.”
I sighed. I’d been seriously delusional dreaming of a “normal” life with Jax. “I’d appreciate anything you find. And I’ll pay for your time, of course.”
“Sure thing.”
Sitting up, I rolled my shoulders back. I was going to ask Jax outright about his family, but having a Plan B didn’t hurt. Especially considering how things had gone for us so far. “Thanks, Deanna.”
“Hey, take care, okay? Guys like Jax can really fuck you up if you’re not careful.”
“Yeah, I know. Thanks. You take care, too.”
We hung up and I set my smartphone down on the desk. I was back to running through my email when my cell pinged for an incoming text. Looking at the screen, I saw it was from Jax. My feet tapped a little dance on the carpet before I realized what I was doing.
I know you’re thinking about me.
I stared at his message and snorted. “Whatever.”
Obviously, you’re thinking about me, I typed back.
I dreamt about u 2.
That made me smile. Dreaming about Jax was one of my wayward mind’s favorite pastimes. Hope it was a nightmare about me blowing a major business deal for u.
A minute later: It was a wet dream about u blowing me.
I laughed. He’d changed tactics from our earlier conversation, switching from playing hardball to just playing. Jax knew when a particular strategy wasn’t working.
I started typing a reply, but he beat me to it. My phone started ringing. I answered and he spoke before I could even say hello.
“You sucked me so good, baby,” he crooned. “I couldn’t breathe, it felt so good. Your hot little mouth tugging at the head of my dick, your tongue swirling around me, your tight fist jacking me off. I came so hard for you. And you swallowed it all, Gia baby. Every drop.”
For a moment, I couldn’t think of what to say, my mind filled with images of me doing just what he said. I loved going down on Jax. Loved the way he felt...how he tasted and smelled. More than that, I loved the way he lost himself with me, shameless in his pleasure. In those moments, I felt the intimacy with him that I craved so much.
“You’ve always loved sucking my cock,” he said silkily. “And God knows I’d spend every minute in your mouth if I could.”
I found my voice. “Selfish bastard.”
“When it comes to you, yeah.” He sighed. “I’m lying in bed, naked and hard, wondering why the fuck you’re not here yet.”
“Don’t you have something to do?”
“You.”
I heard the sound of his email pinging in the background and laughed. “Liar. You’re working.”
We used to play phone sex games with each other, often leading to both of us getting off simultaneously. There was nothing in the world like hearing him say my name when he was coming.
“Guilty,” he confessed, unabashed. “Trying to keep my mind off you and failing miserably.”
“Probably because what you’re working on is the deal that screwed me over.”
“You promised me a round of angry sex.” He hummed softly, with obvious relish. “I’m waiting for it, baby.”
“Not sure you want your dick anywhere near my teeth while I’m feeling this way about you.”
Jax laughed and my toes curled. He had the best laugh, deep and full-bodied. “Even threats of bodily harm can’t kill this hard-on I’ve got for you. Come over, Gia.”
“Can’t. I’ve got a meeting in a bit.” I stood and walked to the window, feeling restless. Pushing the sheer curtains aside, I looked down at the city of Atlanta. Where was Jax? It was a question I’d been asking myself every day over the past two years. He hadn’t had to ask where I was, though, since he’d had me followed. “Besides, didn’t you say we needed to talk? I doubt you’ll do much of that when I get there.”
He was silent a minute, then, “You’ve got a great family. I’ve always known where I stood with them, good or bad. They don’t bullshit and they don’t waste time on petty crap. They’re good people.”
“Thank you,” I murmured, taking that to heart. I was proud of my family, proud to be a Rossi.
“My family isn’t like that, Gia. Don’t be fooled by Parker’s charm. He only gives the time of day to people who are useful.”
“Jax, I don’t have anything.”
“You have me,” he said grimly.
“Are you saying your dad would use me against you?”
“Maybe. Or he’d just use you, period. It could be anything, babe. Just trust me, there’s an angle.”
I absorbed that for a moment, trying to wrap my head around a father and son who didn’t trust each other. “Is he the reason you stayed away the past couple of years?”
Is he the reason you’re determined to leave me again?
“I stayed away because it’s the best thing for you.”
I hated that non-answer. “Yet here you are. Give me a good reason why I should see you, Jax.”
“Because you want to.”
“I suggest you come up with something better than that.”
He exhaled in a rush. “Because I want you to. Because I need to spend time with you. You make me feel...human. Being with you makes me feel like I’m not a complete piece of shit.”
I closed my eyes, my hand lifting to my chest to rub the ache in my heart. I wanted to know why he always put himself down, why he thought he wasn’t good enough for me. I knew I was going to make a go of it just to try to get those answers. Still, I was honest and told him, “Being with you makes me feel lonely. It reminds me that I want to find someone to be steady in my life. Someone I can depend on.”
“I wish I was that guy,” he said quietly.
“Yeah. Me, too.”
2
I INTERRUPTED MY sister-in-law the instant she answered the phone. “Traitor!”
Denise paused in the middle of reciting the name of her beauty salon, then said, “So he called you, eh?”
“He’s here!” I sat on the edge of my bed with a groan.
“He’s in Atlanta? Are you serious?” Denise whistled. I heard a squeak in the background and could picture her sitting on the hot-pink stool behind the front counter of her shop. “He’s got it bad for you.”
“I can’t believe you ratted me out like that. Don’t you think if I’d wanted him to know where I was, I would’ve told him?”
“Come on. I’ve never seen you look at a guy the way you look at him. You can’t blame me for wanting you to be happy.”
“He deserves to stew a bit, Denise. He deserves to miss me and wonder what I’m doing.”
“Ah, I feel you. Sorry.”
I kicked out my legs, my gaze dropping to my pedicure. “No, you’re not.”
“I’m a little sorry,” she amended. “So, are you two going to kiss and make up?”
“It’s not like that.”
“So tell me what it’s like.”
“Boy meets girl, boy ditches girl, boy pops up again two years later, boy screws girl and then almost screws her big business deal, boy wants to screw girl again—maybe both ways—but this time, boy says up front that he’ll be ditching girl again at some point.”
“Hmm.” Her chewing gum bubble popped loudly. “If I hadn’t seen the way boy looks at girl, I might tell you to kick him to the curb.”
“Probably the smart thing to do. So what’s your alternative?”
“Screw him senseless. Rock his world. Show him what he’ll be missing. Make it hurt when he decides it’s time to walk away so he won’t go through with it.”
If only it were that easy. “I think that’s an asinine plan.”
“Maybe.” She laughed, and I smiled reluctantly. “But that’s a fine piece of prime male ass, Gianna. There are worse things a girl can do than spend a few hours in bed with a hot guy who’s in love with her.”
She was saying what I’d wanted to hear—some excuse to go forward instead of cutting my losses and running. “You’re an enabler, Denise!”
“Whatev. If Jackson’s bad for you, think about how good sex is. It’s great for the complexion, good exercise, an awesome mood booster—”
I rolled my eyes. “Hanging up now.”
“Love you!” she said quickly.
“Love you, too.” I killed the call and stood for a moment, lightly tapping my chin with the end of my phone.
I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to just walk away, even for my own self-preservation. Jax loved me enough that walking away was the only end he’d consider. Maybe Denise was onto something. Maybe instead of pushing back all the time, I had to love him with everything I had. Really make him feel it, so he’d miss it when it was gone, enough to bring him back to me.
Problem with that, though, was that he’d screwed me businesswise. And I couldn’t let it go. That was a cut that ran deep.
* * *
Chad and Rick, the hotel manager, hit it off right away. I enjoyed listening to the two talk with their Southern drawls, charmed by both men and entertained to boot. But when Rick extended an invitation to dinner, I declined after Chad accepted, not wanting to cramp his style. I figured it was important for him to feel connected on his own, without me hovering all the time. I wasn’t his babysitter, and I didn’t want him to feel as if I didn’t trust him to handle his business on his own.
When I got back to my room, I called Lei.
“Gianna,” she said when she picked up, knowing it was me from the office’s caller ID. “How are things going in Atlanta?”
“Chad’s feeling good,” I said. “He’s been comfortable and relaxed, and really excited. The visit did what we’d hoped.”
Perceptive as she was, she asked, “And you? Are you feeling good, too?”
“Jackson followed me down here.” I didn’t share that personal detail with my boss, or dish like I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I told her because there was no way around a possible conflict of interest. I wasn’t going to let Jax jeopardize my job any further.
“Did he?” Her tone was thoughtful. “Well... How do you feel about that?”
“I’m not sure. No,” I amended, “that’s not true. I’m pissed off that he’s made an already complicated relationship more complicated by investing in Pembry Ventures. Not just that, but he called Isabelle directly to solidify her defecting. I can’t trust him, Lei.”
Every time I thought about what he’d done, I got angry all over again.
“That’s a fatal flaw.”
“I know it.” The thing was, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jax had deliberately moved to put a wedge between us. But I couldn’t decide if that motivation made him less dangerous or more so. “I need you to tell me if I’m risking my job.”
“You know you are. I’m not going to fire you over who you date, Gianna. That’s your business. But if he happens to make another move that looks like he got a tip from you—whether it was done deliberately or not—I’ll have to let you go, because then we’re talking about my business. Got it?”
My stomach knotted. “Got it.”
“All right.” Her voice softened. “What’s on the agenda tomorrow?”
I told her. While I spoke calmly and steadily, I couldn’t shake the fear that had taken root. I’d planned my whole future around my job and I didn’t have a Plan B.
“Let me know what Chad thinks of the architect’s renderings when he sees them. And take care of yourself, Gianna. You’re not just an employee to me. I think you know that.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I do. Thanks, Lei.”
We hung up and I threw my phone on the bed. A headache was building and I loosened the clip that rolled my hair into a neat chignon at my nape. I really hated Jax at that moment. I didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions he’d been stirring up in me since he had walked back into my life. I kept shifting from wanting to heal whatever was wounding him to wanting to hurt him myself.
Ping. Incoming text.
When I saw Going crazy waiting 4 u from Jax, I let it all explode.
I called him. Everything that was wrong in my life was his fault and he needed to know that.
“Tell me you’re in the lobby,” he said in greeting, his voice husky.
I didn’t screw around. “I love my job. It’s the most important thing in my life, and I’m in danger of losing it because of you.”
It took him a second to switch gears. “Fuck. Gia—”
“If you love me at all, you’ll tell me right now if this is going to end with me jobless. You can get easy pussy, Jax. You don’t need mine.”
“Jesus.” He exhaled roughly. “I’ve done what business I intend to do with Ian Pembry.”
It was another non-answer. I was sick of them. He gave them for damn near everything.
I hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed. I started undressing, wanting to take a shower and scrub the day off.
My phone started ringing. Click. Time to shut that sucker down for the night.
I took my room phone off the hook, too, before he could start in on me that way. I’d come to Atlanta for some time away from Jax, and I needed it, despite how my body protested the idea of being denied him.
“I don’t need him to have an orgasm,” I scolded myself aloud. Of course that didn’t address what I really loved about sex with Jax—the man himself.
Twenty minutes later, my hair was wrapped up in a towel on my head and I was on the phone with room service. An impatient, angry rap on the door startled me enough to make me jump.
I knew who it was before Jax said, “Open the damned door, Gia.”
My jaw clenched. There was no way in hell the hotel had given out my room number. It irritated me to no end that Jax had the connections to circumvent the rules everyone else lived by.
I returned my attention to my call. “You know what? Make that a bottle of Ste. Michelle instead of a glass, please. Thank you.”
Jax knocked with even more impatience.
I hung up and glared at the door. “Fuck you,” I snapped.
“You’re acting like a child.” Even muffled through the door, his voice resonated with fury.
“Get a clue, Jax. I don’t want to see you.”
“That’s too damn bad. You can’t stay in there forever, Gia, but I can put a guard on your door who’ll make sure that when you come out, you come straight to me. It’s your choice how you want this to go.”
Narrow-eyed, I slapped the security bar back and yanked the door open. Jax immediately crowded me, forcing me back into the room. I caught barely a glimpse of a guy in a suit behind Jax’s big frame, then Jax kicked the door shut behind him.
I backed up quickly, my gaze darting down the length of his body. He was dressed in black slacks and a matching vest, his gray shirt and tie not softening the dark vibe. His hair looked as if he’d been running his fingers through it, the longer strands falling over his forehead in sexy disarray. His brown eyes were hot as they catalogued my appearance, his irritation evident in the scowl that furrowed his brow.
He’d said I was sexy as hell when I was mad at him and I understood what he meant when confronted by over six feet of angry, bristling masculinity. The angles of his gorgeous face were tight, his jaw rigid, the sensual curve of his lips firmed into an unyielding line. He looked dangerous and fiercely sexual.
“I’m getting real tired of you cutting things off,” he said, clenching his teeth.
“Boy do I know that feeling.”
He glanced at the ceiling as if he were praying for patience. “Is Yeung giving you a hard time?”
“No.” I crossed my arms, wishing I were wearing more than the hotel-provided robe, which was a thin shield for my nakedness underneath. “She’s actually been remarkably forgiving, all things considered.”
He watched me back carefully away. He filled the entryway of the room, blocking the exit, the closet, and the bathroom. The Mondego was a really nice hotel, beautifully decorated with understated elegance, but this suite was nowhere near as fabulous as the one Jax had taken me to in New Jersey. “My deal with Pembry has nothing to do with you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
His brows rose. “You don’t? Or Yeung doesn’t?”
“Me. I’m sure you had a few reasons why you did it, but I’m also pretty sure I was one of the reasons. And since it’s worked out so well and made me seriously consider how much of a liability you are, I can’t be sure you won’t pull something else that makes me hate you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to end things because you can’t.”
His face revealed no expression, but something in his eyes changed. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because you’re afraid of me. Especially the way you feel about me.”
“Am I?”
“That, or your dad has you running scared. Which is it?”
“I’ve told you what he’s like,” Jax said softly.
That stopped my retreat. “I guess I have more faith in you than you have in yourself. I think you can take him on, Jax. I trust that you’d watch out for me.”
He laughed and it was a horrible, humorless sound. “You think I’d protect you from the big bad wolf?”
I stared at him, shocked, never having seen this bitter side of him. The next thing I knew, he had me in his powerful grip, his body curling into me and his face close to mine. He was impossibly beautiful. The most stunning man I’d ever seen. And he was seriously pissed.
“I am the big bad wolf, baby,” he growled. “You want to be with me? You want to be my girlfriend? You want to go to parties with me...events...have dinner with the family?”
“Yes!” I lifted onto my tiptoes. “I’m sick of being your booty call, Jax. You’ve got dozens of women for that. I deserve better!”
“Dozens? I’ve damn near been a monk since I met you! Two women, Gia. Two. And since you fucked two guys, you’ve got no room to talk. I’m entitled to those two, as pointless as they were.”
I gasped, horrified that he’d watched me close enough to know how many men I had slept with since we’d been apart.
“You want the whole deal?” he snapped. “Fine. Your life is about to change completely. Your privacy is a thing of the past. You’re going—”
“As if I had any privacy! My God, you’ve been stalking me for years. Are you—?”
“Gia, every questionable thing you’ve ever done is about to become tomorrow’s news. Your brothers’ lives are up for grabs, too. And that goes for your parents and friends, too. Go out in public and the photographers will follow. From how you vote to what you’re wearing, everything is fair game.”
I swallowed hard.
“You’re going to move in with me. You’ll be safe in my apartment, but I can’t say what your brothers will have to deal with. Or your sister-in-law. There’ll be security with you at all times. And I don’t want to hear about how inconvenient it is to constantly have someone with you, someone you’ll have to report your schedule to.”
“You can’t scare me,” I whispered, but it was a lie. My heart was pounding with anxiety. I had always been incredibly protective of my family. Whenever they were threatened, I came out swinging.
“Oh, I will,” he warned darkly. “You’ve had nothing but the best of me so far, but if you want it all, that’s what you’ll get. The good and the really fucking ugly.”
“Bring it on,” I challenged, getting angry again. He was deliberately being an ass.
“I travel a lot. You’re going to have some late nights that will bore you to tears, only to get up the next day to go to work. I’ll tell you what to wear, what to say, how to act. It’s what I do, Gia. Image is everything in politics and business, but you’ve already figured that out, haven’t you? You’ve laid a lot of the groundwork for me. Sometimes, I barely recognize you.”
I rebelled, yanking myself away from him. “Thank you, Jax,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “You’ve made the decision really easy for me.”
His mouth curled in a cruel smile. “Scared you off, did I?”
I was so frustrated with his crap, I wanted to scream. We’d never been nasty to each other. More than anything, I was desperate to put distance between us.
“I’d face all that and more for a guy who really loved me,” I told him coldly. “But I’m not putting up with this shit from a jerk.”
He looked ready to smash his clenched fist through the wall.
I waved toward the door. “Please leave, Jax. I don’t want to look at you right now.” Another lie. I would never get tired of looking at him. But I was tired of dealing with him. I’d wanted a break for a reason.
“I give it to you straight and you flip.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and cursed.
“No,” I corrected. “You wanted to scare me straight and you’re getting what you wanted. I’m settling for a fuck-only arrangement, but I’ll do so on my time, not yours. I’ll call you when I want you, so don’t bother calling me—I won’t answer. And stop popping up where I am. It’s creepy.”
“Damn it.” Jax stepped forward, reaching for me.
I backed up quickly. “Don’t touch me.”
His dark eyes bored into mine. “You might as well tell me to stop breathing. What the fuck do you want from me, Gia? I’m trying to give you what you’re asking for, and it’s still not enough.”
“Damn right! You set up all those pitfalls and didn’t leave me any way out. Why would I want to take the first step?”
“Living under a microscope is part of my life! I can’t change it.”
“You could’ve said something like, ‘Listen, Gia, sharing my life won’t be easy, but I love you. I’ll do the best I can to make sure our private life is worth the public hell.’ Or something like that!”
“Jesus.” He made a frustrated sound. “This isn’t a goddamned romance novel! I’m just a guy trying to give in to what you want so I can have you.”
As if. He knew what I wanted and he was fighting it all the way. “Well, now you can have your life and me—when I’m in the mood.” I held up a warning hand. “Not now. Believe me. I’ll call you when I get back to New York.”
“Fine. Whatever.” He pivoted and strode to the door, his back stiff and shoulders rigid.
There was still a part of me that wanted to cave, to drag him back and tell him to stay, to sleep with him and feel that incredible intimacy and sensual closeness I’d never felt with anyone else. But we had a lot of thinking to do and we needed time—and space—to do it.
Jax yanked the door open and stepped out to the hallway. I swallowed the words stuck in my throat and reached for my smartphone on the bed, using it as a distraction to avoid watching him leave.
I heard the door shut and closed my eyes, breathing out a shaky exhalation. We weren’t going to recover from this. This was going to change what we’d had. Forever.
“I...”
My lungs seized in surprise at the sound of Jax’s voice.
“I love you. Okay? I love you so much it’s driving me crazy.”
I reached for the desk chair, trying to support my weakened knees. I’d wanted to hear him say the words, but now that I had, they didn’t sink in. I didn’t realize how upset he was until his hands gripped my upper arms and he buried his face in my neck.
“I want you in my home,” he said softly. “I want to wake up to you, go to sleep holding you, to come home from work and eat dinner with you. I want what we had in Las Vegas, but things were different then. I had you all to myself. It’s not going to be that way now.”
I reached up with my right hand and set it over his left. “I get it. I can deal with it.”
“I hope so,” he murmured, turning me around. “Because I’m not going to be able to let you go after this, Gia. For better or worse, you’re mine.”
3
“IF YOU’RE STILL trying to scare me,” I whispered, overcome, “you’ll have to do better than that.”
Jax laughed softly, huskily. “I’m scared enough for both of us.”
He cupped my face, tilting it up to kiss me. The moment his firm lips touched mine, love pierced my heart, making it ache. I caught his waist, pushing up onto my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Heat and hunger slid through me, provoked by the beloved smell of him...the feel of his warmth and hard body...the taste of him.
He groaned, drawing me closer. I’d been starved for him for so long that appeasing my craving seemed impossible. My tongue tangled with his, licking into his mouth, my mouth slanting across his with unabashed ravenousness.
“Come here.” He tugged at the tie of my robe, pushing it open and then down to where my elbows were bent.
I let him go only long enough to allow the sleeves to slide off so the robe dropped on the floor.
“God.” He pulled me into him, molding my naked body fully against him.
The buttons of his vest pressed into my skin, driving home the realization that he was clothed, dressed for work in a way I’d never seen when we were together in Vegas. Turning my head, I looked into the mirror on the wall and shivered at our reflection—Jax, so formal and dark, a dangerously sexy businessman; and me, naked and shameless.
“Look at us,” I whispered, watching as his gaze found us. Watching the lust tighten his face into primal masculine beauty.
His chin nuzzled against my temple, his eyes closing. “You’re so beautiful, baby. So goddamned hot you burn me up. I’m so afraid of fucking this up. Of looking at you one day and finding that you’ve lost that light in your eyes you have when you’re looking at me.”
“Jax.” He’d always made me feel as if no other woman had ever compared to me. But as thrilled as I was to finally have him, the pain he’d put me through still throbbed like an unhealed wound. “You hurt me,” I told him softly. “You broke my heart.”
His forehead touched mine. “I hurt us both. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but I have no idea how this is going to play out or how you’ll take to living my life with me.”
“I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, too.” I started on the buttons of his vest, freeing them one by one. “We just have to love each other.”
He tilted his head and took my mouth again, kissing me with such tenderness my eyes stung. His hands slid up my torso, splaying under my breasts with his thumbs beneath the curves. The pads stroked the sensitive undersides, making my nipples harden. I whimpered, begging for a more carnal touch. The deep-seated ache in my core was painful, my sex already wet and ready.
It had always been that way with Jax, as if my body recognized his as the one it’d been built to take.
Jax exploded into motion, picking me up effortlessly and laying me on the bed. The towel wrapped around my hair loosened and fell off. He positioned himself over me, his hands planted at my sides. He ran the tip of his nose up my cleavage. “Tell me you have a condom.”
I bit my lip, regretting that I had to shake my head.
His eyes closed again and he took a deep breath. “I’ll keep my clothes on.”
“Jax...” There was a plea in my voice, because I couldn’t imagine not feeling him inside me. So hard and long and thick.
His head lifted and I shivered at the raging lust in his dark eyes, knowing exactly how it would feel to have it unleashed on me. “There’s no way I’d pull out,” he said, his voice guttural with desire. “No way.”
I opened my mouth to say it was okay...that I was on the pill...that I wanted to feel him come inside me without anything between us...but the doorbell rang, followed by a quick “Room service.”
I moaned.
A pained look crossed his face. Then he laughed softly. “Saved by the bell.”
“Wait—”
But he was already grabbing my robe off the floor and draping it over me. “Don’t move,” he ordered.
He got the door, barred the server from entering, and took care of everything in the hallway. When he reappeared, he was carrying the tray in one hand, deftly balancing the bottle of wine, wineglass, and a dome-covered meal.
Setting it all on the desk, he glanced at me as I sat up, my legs stretching out in front of me. “You’re killing me.”
“You deserve it.”
Jax’s mouth curved wryly. “I don’t doubt it. Still, there’s only so much a desperate man can take. I have to get out of here.”
I pouted. “Spoilsport.”
“Get your sexy ass back to New York, and I’ll give you all you can take.” He ran a hand through his hair, restoring order to it. “I’m going to start making the arrangements for your return.”
My brows rose. “You have to make arrangements to fuck me?”
“No, for you to move in. And I have to let you eat so you have the strength for everything I’ll do to you while fucking you.” He grabbed me as I pushed to my feet and gave me a quick, hard kiss. “And if you’re ready to go raw with me, we do it right—in our own apartment, in our own bed.”
I swallowed hard. “I have to talk to my brothers. My parents.”
“We’ll do it together.”
“You’re moving fast for a guy who just had his hand forced.”
A softness came over Jax’s face. “I’ve thought about this for a while. Tried to plan it in my head...come up with a way to make it work....”
“Maybe it won’t be as hard as you think.”
He brushed my damp hair back behind my ears. “The media is going to love you, Gia,” he murmured. “You’re a walking wet dream. You’ve got sex appeal, baby, and a body that won’t quit. They’re going to take a look at you and see me looking at you, and they’re going to imagine hot, salacious monkey sex. And that’s news.”
I shoved at him. “Be serious!”
“They’re going to get it wrong, and think I’m just having a good time with you. They’ll start speculating right away on how long it’ll last. They’ll pair us with other people, inventing news just to have an excuse to publish another picture of you.”
I’d seen it before, with other couples. But Jax and I were different. We weren’t celebrities. I was nobody, and even though he was a Rutledge, he worked behind the scenes of the political circles that had made his family so well-known.
“You don’t believe me.” He rubbed his temple against mine. “You’ll have to trust me. I’ve seen what can happen. I’ve seen the stress rip people apart.”
A niggling suspicion spurred me to ask, “Someone you cared about?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
Jax pulled back and I saw that he’d shut down. “She checked out,” he said tonelessly. “I’m not going to let that happen with you.”
My fingers flexed into his lean waist. It was hard thinking about Jax loving someone else. It was harder still thinking about his former lover hurting him so deeply that he’d pushed me away to avoid becoming vulnerable again.
He kissed my forehead. “When are you coming home?”
“Day after tomorrow.”
“All right. See if we can’t get together with your family that night. We’ll get you moved in the next day.”
I felt as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump, without any idea of where I might land. “You’re making my head spin.”
Backing up a step, he winked. “Just returning the favor, babe.”
* * *
“You’re miles away.”
The sound of Chad’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at him sitting in the seat next to me on the plane and offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”
“Should I be worried?”
I shook my head. “It’s personal.”
His brows rose. “Good for me, maybe. Not so good for you it looks like. Wanna talk about it?”
I debated just how personal I wanted to get with Chad, then asked, “Have you ever lived with a girlfriend?”
“Not really. There were one or two who spent a lot of time at my house, which was convenient as far as sex went, but wasn’t great for privacy or hanging with the guys. I figure I’ll save that kind of commitment for marriage. Why do you ask?”
“I’m just thinking I agree with you about the commitment level.”
The amusement in his eyes faded. “Rutledge asked you to move in?”
“Something like that.” Told me was more like it, but...
He took a second. “I may have a problem with that.”
“Oh?” I twisted in my seat to face him more directly.
“You’ve known this guy a couple years, you said. But he only starts putting the heat on after you start working with me? He helps to break up my deal with Stacy, then follows that up with nabbing Isabelle. Now he’s wanting to share digs with you, the gal that’s got all my info and knows all my plans?”
Taking a deep breath, I processed what he’d said. “The day before yesterday, you seemed easier with it.”
“I’ve been doing some thinking.”
Okay. Crap. I felt like I’d been blindsided. “I don’t think it’s personal. In fact, I know it’s not. Jax always says business should never be personal.”
“It’s personal to me,” he shot back. That hit home. I’d said something similar to Jax when he’d thrown that line at me. “And it’s personal to Stacy. She’s not just going to want to succeed—she’ll want to be better than me. Have more than me. She’s going to want to prove that I made the wrong decision, and he’s on her side! Pembry’s got a lot riding on her. They’re going to want to keep her happy.”
He wasn’t wrong, damn it all.
“It works both ways,” I pointed out quietly. “I’m going to know what he’s into, too.”
I hadn’t really thought of my relationship with Jax that way before, as a situation that required tiptoeing around issues. Hadn’t wanted to. I wanted things with us to be real and straight and beautiful. But everyone I worked with wasn’t in sync with that hope, including Jax. Of course, Jax expected the hits to come from the outside, but no matter what, it seemed as though I needed to be a little more realistic about what being with Jax was going to entail.
You’re swimming with sharks....
Chad assessed me. “No offense, Gianna. But Rutledge might be out of your league.”
“Oh, he is for sure. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle him. That said—” I took a deep breath “—if you want someone else to spearhead your projects with Savor, I’d understand.”
His lips pursed. “I hate to say it, but that might be best.”
* * *
I’d planned on heading straight into work after landing at LaGuardia, but decided to stop at home first instead. My conversation with Chad had rattled me and I really felt as though I needed some time to pull myself together before going in to face Lei.
I slid open the large metal front door to the loft and found two of my brothers on the couch, playing a video game.
“Catch that one, dude,” Angelo snapped, jerking his controller to the right. “Come on! Fucker’s about to take me out.”
“Hang on.” Vincent surged to his feet, frantically hitting buttons. “I’ve got six of them on me.”
I paused on the threshold, feeling so grateful to be home. “Behind you!” I shouted to Angelo as a zombie lumbered up to his avatar.
Both guys jumped and two pairs of dark eyes swung toward me.
“You scared the shit out of me!” Vincent complained, hitting Pause on his split screen.
“Hey,” Angelo greeted me, returning his attention to his game. “How was Hotlanta?”
“Hot,” I said wryly, turning to pull the door closed behind me. The apartment smelled like bacon, and I could see the remnants of breakfast on the counter and sink. The guys were too used to having dishwashers take care of things at Rossi’s.
“You got the day off?” Vincent asked, strolling over. Dressed in shorts and nothing else, he reminded me why my high school friends had been so eager to come over to my house all the time.
“Nah. I gotta show up,” I said. “Just wanted to drop off my stuff.”
“Get your ass back over here,” Angelo muttered. “I’m getting slaughtered by these freaks.”
Vincent rolled his eyes. “Damn. I was hoping you’d take over the game, Gianna. You and Nico are the ones who like this shit.”
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Sylvia Day
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: #1 New York Times Bestselling AuthorAmerica’s premier author of provocative fiction delivers the dramatic finale to a series set within the inner circle of glamour, sex and privilege.When it came to playing games, my lover Jax was a master strategist. He pulled strings behind the closed doors of D.C.’s most powerful political players, and somehow still found time to nearly sideline my career. What he didn’t know was that when I didn’t like the rules, I threw them out and made my own. I wasn’t going to let Jax get away with it. I wasn’t going to let him get away at all.I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to give up. Jax loved me enough that giving up was the only end he’d consider. He didn’t think I could swim with the sharks. It was entirely my pleasure to show him that I’d already dived in…