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Wait for You
J. Lynn


The New York Times number 1 New Adult bestsellerSome things are worth waiting for…Travelling thousands of miles from home to enter college is the only way nineteen-year-old Avery Morgansten can escape an event that changed her life forever. All she needs to do is keep her head down – the one thing she didn’t plan on was capturing the attention of the only guy who could shatter her defences.Cameron Hamilton is six feet and three inches of swoon-worthy hotness. She knows she needs to stay away from him, but Cam is everywhere, with his charm, his banter, and that dimple that's just so… so lickable. Getting involved with him is dangerous, but ignoring their simmering tension is impossible…When Avery starts receiving threatening emails and phone calls, she realises that someone from her past is refusing to let her go. When the devastating truth comes out, will Cam be there to help her or will he be dragged down with her?









Wait for You

BY J LYNN








Dedication (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)

Dedicated to those who are reading this book right now. Without you, none of this would be possible. You guys rock my fuzzy socks.




Contents


Title Page (#u62b0256b-45c6-53eb-aa1a-6b4f0b5997e2)

Dedication



Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

About the Author

Also by

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Copyright

About the Publisher




Chapter 1 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


There were two things in life that scared the ever-loving crap out of me. Waking up in the middle of the night and discovering a ghost with its transparent face shoved in mine was one of them. Not likely to occur, but still pretty damn freaky to think about. The second thing was walking into a crowded classroom late.

I absolutely loathed being late.

I hated for people to turn and stare, which they always did when you entered a classroom a minute after class started.

That was why I had obsessively plotted the distance between my apartment in University Heights and the designated parking lot for commuter students over the weekend on Google. And I actually drove it twice on Sunday to make sure Google wasn’t leading me astray.

One point two miles to be exact.

Five minutes in the car.

I even left my apartment fifteen minutes early so I would arrive ten minutes before my 9:10 class began.

What I didn’t plan for was the mile-long traffic backup at the stop sign, because God forbid there be an actual light in the historical town, or the fact there was absolutely no parking left on campus. I had to park at the train station adjacent to the campus, wasting precious time digging up quarters for the meter.

‘If you insist on moving halfway across the country, at least stay in one of the dorms. They do have dorms there, don’t they?’ My mom’s voice filtered through my thoughts as I stopped in front of the Robert Byrd Science Building, out of breath from racing up the steepest, most inconvenient hill in history.

Of course I hadn’t chosen to stay in a dorm, because I knew at some point, my parents would randomly show up and they would start judging and start talking, and I’d rather punt-kick myself in the face than subject an innocent bystander to that. Instead, I tapped into my well-earned blood money and leased a two-bedroom apartment next to campus.

Mr. and Mrs. Morgansten had hated that.

And that had made me extremely happy.

But now I was sort of regretting my little act of rebellion, because as I hurried out of the humid heat of a late August morning and into the air-conditioned brick building, it was already eleven minutes past nine and my astronomy class was on the second floor. And why in the hell did I choose astronomy?

Maybe because the idea of sitting through another biology class made me want to hurl? Yep. That was it.

Racing up the wide staircase, I barreled through the double doors and smacked right into a brick wall.

Stumbling backward, I flailed my arms like a cracked-out crossing guard. My overpacked messenger bag slipped, pulling me to one side. My hair flew in front of my face, a sheet of auburn that obscured everything as I teetered dangerously.

Oh dear God, I was going down. There was no stopping it. Visions of broken necks danced in my head. This was going to suck so—

Something strong and hard went around my waist, stopping my free fall. My bag hit the floor, spilling overpriced books and pens across the shiny floor. My pens! My glorious pens rolled everywhere. A second later I was pressed against the wall.

The wall was strangely warm.

The wall chuckled.

‘Whoa,’ a deep voice said. ‘You okay, sweetheart?’

The wall was so not a wall. It was a guy. My heart stopped, and for a frightening second, pressure clamped down on my chest and I couldn’t move or think. I was thrown back five years. Stuck. Couldn’t move. Air punched from my lungs in a painful rush as tingles spread up the back of my neck. Every muscle locked up.

‘Hey …’ The voice softened, edged with concern. ‘Are you okay?’

I forced myself to take a deep breath—to just breathe. I needed to breathe. Air in. Air out. I had practiced this over and over for five years. I wasn’t fourteen anymore. I wasn’t there. I was here, halfway across the country.

Two fingers pressed under my chin, forcing my head up. Startling, brilliant blue eyes framed with thick black lashes fixed on mine. A blue so vibrant and electric, and such a stark contrast against the black pupils, I wondered if the color was real.

And then it hit me.

A guy was holding me. A guy had never held me. I didn’t count that one time, because that time didn’t count for shit, and I was pressed against him, thigh to thigh, my chest to his. Like we were dancing. My senses fried as I inhaled the light scent of cologne. Wow. It smelled good and expensive, like his …

Anger suddenly rushed through me, a sweet and familiar thing, pushing away the old panic and confusion. I latched on to it desperately and found my voice. ‘Let. Go. Of. Me.’

Blue Eyes immediately dropped his arm. Unprepared for the sudden loss of support, I swayed to the side, catching myself before I tripped over my bag. Breathing like I’d just run a mile, I pushed the thick strands of hair out of my face and finally got a good look at Blue Eyes.

Sweet baby Jesus, Blue Eyes was …

He was gorgeous in all the ways that made girls do stupid things. He was tall, a good head or two taller than me, and broad at the shoulders, but tapered at the waist. An athlete’s body—like a swimmer’s. Wavy black hair toppled over his forehead, brushing matching eyebrows. Broad cheekbones and wide, expressive lips completed the package created for girls to drool over. And with those sapphire-colored eyes, holy moly …

Who thought a place named Shepherdstown would be hiding someone who looked like this?

And I ran into him. Literally. Nice. ‘I’m sorry. I was in a hurry to get to class. I’m late and …’

His lips curved up at the corners as he knelt. He started gathering up my stuff, and for a brief moment I felt like crying. I could feel tears building in my throat. I was really late now; no way could I walk into that class late, especially on the first day. Fail.

Dipping down, I let my hair fall forward and shield my face as I started grabbing up my pens. ‘You don’t have to help me.’

‘It’s no problem.’ He picked up a slip of paper and then glanced up. ‘Astronomy 101? I’m heading that way, too.’

Great. For the whole semester I’d have to see the guy I nearly killed in the hallway. ‘You’re late,’ I said lamely. ‘I really am sorry.’

With all my books and pens back in my bag, he stood as he handed it back to me. ‘It’s okay.’ That crooked grin spread, revealing a dimple in his left cheek, but nothing on the right side. ‘I’m used to having girls throw themselves at me.’

I blinked, thinking I hadn’t heard the blue-eyed babe right, because surely he hadn’t said something as lame as that.

He had, and he wasn’t done. ‘Trying to jump on my back is new, though. Kind of liked it.’

Feeling my cheeks burn, I snapped out of it. ‘I wasn’t trying to jump on your back or throw myself at you.’

‘You weren’t?’ The lopsided grin remained. ‘Well, that’s a shame. If so, it would have made this the best first day of class in history.’

I didn’t know what to say as I clutched the heavy bag to my chest. Guys hadn’t flirted with me back at home. Most of them hadn’t dared to look in my direction in high school and the very few that did, well, they hadn’t been flirting.

Blue Eyes’s gaze dropped to the slip of paper in his hand. ‘Avery Morgansten?’

My heart jumped. ‘How do you know my name?’

He cocked his head to the side as the smile inched wider. ‘It’s on your schedule.’

‘Oh.’ I pushed the wavy strands of hair back from my hot face. He handed my schedule back, and I took it, slipping it into my bag. A whole lot of awkward descended as I fumbled with my strap.

‘My name is Cameron Hamilton,’ Blue Eyes said. ‘But everyone calls me Cam.’

Cam. I rolled the name around, liking it. ‘Thank you again, Cam.’

He bent over and picked up a black backpack I hadn’t noticed. Several locks of dark hair fell over his forehead and as he straightened, he brushed them away. ‘Well, let’s make our grand entrance.’

My feet were rooted to the spot where I stood as he turned and strolled the couple of feet to the closed door to room 205. He reached for the handle, looking over his shoulder, waiting.

I couldn’t do it. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that I had plowed into what was possibly the sexiest guy on campus. I couldn’t walk into the class and have everybody turn and stare. I’d had enough of being the center of attention everywhere I went for the last five years. Sweat broke out and dotted my forehead. My stomach tightened as I took a step back, away from the classroom and Cam.

He turned, brows knitted as a curious expression settled on his striking face. ‘You’re going in the wrong direction, sweetheart.’

I’d been going in the wrong direction half my life, it seemed. ‘I can’t.’

‘Can’t what?’ He took a step toward me.

And I bolted. I actually spun around and ran like I was in a race for the last cup of coffee in the world. As I made it to those damn double doors, I heard him call out my name, but I kept going.

My face was flaming as I hurried down the stairs. I was out of breath as I burst out of the science building. My legs kept moving until I sat down on a bench outside of the adjacent library. The early-morning sun seemed too bright as I lifted my head and squeezed my eyes shut.

Geez.

What a way to make a first impression in a new city, new school … new life. I moved more than a thousand miles to start over and I had already mucked it up in a matter of minutes.




Chapter 2 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


I had two options at this point: let go and move on from my disastrous attempt to attend my first class of my college career or go home, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head. I so wanted to indulge in the second option.

If running and hiding wasn’t my MO, I would’ve never survived high school.

Reaching down, I checked the wide, silver bracelet on my left wrist, making sure it was in place. I almost didn’t survive high school.

Mom and Dad had pitched a fit when I’d informed them of my plans to attend a university clear across the country. If it had been Harvard, Yale, or Sweet Briar, they would have been all about it. But a non-Ivy-League university? For shame. They just didn’t understand. They never did. There was no way in holy hell I was going to attend the college they had gone to or enroll where half the country club back home forced their kids to attend.

I wanted to go where I wouldn’t see a familiar sneer or hear the whispers that still dripped from people’s lips like acid. Where people hadn’t heard the story or whatever version of the truth had been repeated over and over again, until sometimes even I questioned what had really happened Halloween night five years ago.

None of them mattered here, though. No one knew me. No one suspected anything. And no one knew what the bracelet hid on summer days when a long-sleeve shirt wouldn’t work.

Coming here had been my decision and it had been the right thing to do.

My parents had threatened to cut off my trust fund, which I’d found hilarious. I had my own money—money they had no control over once I turned eighteen. Money I had earned. To them, I had let them down yet again, but if I stayed in Texas or around any of those people, I would be dead.

Glancing at the time on my cell phone, I pushed to my feet and slung my bag over my shoulder. At least I wouldn’t be late to my history class.

History was in the social sciences building, at the bottom of the hill I had just raced up. I cut through the parking lot behind the Byrd building and crossed the congested street. All around me students walked in groups of two or more; many obviously knew each other. Instead of feeling left out, I felt a precious sense of freedom in walking to class without being recognized.

Pushing my epic fail of a morning out of the way, I entered Whitehall and took the first set of steps to the right. The hallway upstairs was crowded with students waiting for the rooms to empty. I threaded through the laughing groups, dodging some who still looked half-asleep. Finding an empty spot across from my classroom, I sat down against the wall and crossed my legs. I ran my hands over my jeans, excited to be starting history. Most people would be bored to tears in History 101, but it was my first class in my major.

And if I got lucky, five years from now, I’d be working in a silent and cool museum or library, cataloging ancient texts or artifacts. Not the most glamorous of professions, but it would be perfect for me.

Better than what I used to want to be, which was a professional dancer in New York.

Yet another thing Mom had to be disappointed over. All that money thrown at ballet lessons since I was old enough to walk was wasted after I turned fourteen.

I did miss it though, the calming effect dancing had brought on. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it ever again.

‘Girl, what are you doing sitting on the floor?’

My head jerked up and a grin broke out across my face when I saw the wide, bright smile stretching across the caramel tone of Jacob Massey’s boyishly handsome face. We’d buddied up during freshman orientation last week and he was in my next class, plus art on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’d immediately warmed to his outgoing personality.

I glanced at the expensive-looking jeans he wore, recognizing the tailored cut. ‘It’s comfortable down here. You should join me.’

‘Hell, no. I don’t want my fine ass to be tainted by sitting on that floor.’ He propped a hip against the wall beside me and grinned. ‘Wait. What are you doing here already? I thought you had a class at nine.’

‘You remember that?’ We’d exchanged schedules for, like, a half a second last week.

He winked. ‘I have a frightening memory for things that are virtually useless to me.’

I laughed. ‘Good to know.’

‘So did you skip already? You bad, bad girl.’

Wincing, I shook my head. ‘Yes, but I was running late, and I hate going into a classroom after class starts, so I guess my first day will be Wednesday if I don’t drop it before then.’

‘Drop it? Girl, don’t be stupid. Astronomy is a cake class. I would’ve taken it if it hadn’t filled up in two seconds flat when all the damn upperclassmen took the class.’

‘Well, you didn’t nearly kill a guy in a hallway racing to class—a guy who happens to also be in said cake class.’

‘What?’ His dark eyes widened with interest and he started to kneel down. Someone caught his attention. ‘Hold on a sec, Avery.’ Then he started waving his arm and jumping. ‘Yo! Brittany. Get your ass over here!’

A short blond girl jerked to a stop in the middle of the hall and turned toward us, her cheeks flushing, but she smiled as she saw Jacob hopping around. She cut her way over, stopping in front of us.

‘Brittany, this is Avery.’ Jacob beamed. ‘Avery, this is Brittany. Say hi.’

‘Hi,’ Brittany said, giving me a little wave.

I waved back. ‘Hey.’

‘Avery is about to tell us how she almost killed a guy in a hallway. Thought you’d like to hear the story too.’

I winced, but the spark of interest in Brittany’s brown eyes was kind of funny as she looked at me. ‘Do tell,’ she said, smiling.

‘Well, I really didn’t almost kill someone,’ I said, sighing. ‘But it was close and it was so, so embarrassing.’

‘Embarrassing stories are the best,’ Jacob threw out, kneeling down.

Brittany laughed. ‘That is true.’

‘Spill it, sister.’

I tucked my hair back and lowered my voice so the whole hall didn’t revel in my humiliation. ‘I was running late to astronomy and I sort of ran through the double doors on the second floor. I wasn’t watching where I was going and I plowed into this poor guy in the hallway.’

‘Yikes.’ A sympathetic look crossed Brittany’s face.

‘Yeah, and I mean, I almost knocked him over. I dropped my stuff. Books and pens flew everywhere. It was pretty epic.’

Jacob’s eyes gleamed with humor. ‘Was he hot?’

‘What?’

‘Was he hot?’ he repeated as he smoothed a hand through his cropped hair. ‘’Cuz if he was hot, you should’ve used it to your benefit. That could’ve become the best icebreaker in history. Like, you two could fall madly in love and you get to tell everyone how you plowed him before he actually plowed you.’

‘Oh, my God.’ I felt a familiar heat cross my cheeks. ‘Yeah, he was really good-looking.’

‘Oh no,’ said Brittany, who seemed to be the only other person to recognize how a hot guy made the situation all the more embarrassing. I guess you needed a vagina to understand that, because Jacob looked even more thrilled by the news.

‘So tell me what this good-looking man candy looked like? This is a need-to-know kind of detail.’

Part of me didn’t want to say, because thinking about Cam made me about a thousand different levels of uncomfortable. ‘Uh … well, he was really tall and nicely built, I guess.’

‘How do you know he was nicely built? Did you feel him up, too?’

I laughed as Brittany shook her head. ‘I seriously ran into him, Jacob. And he caught me. I wasn’t feeling him up on purpose, but he seemed like he had a good body.’ I shrugged. ‘Anyway, he had dark, wavy hair. Longer than yours, kind of messy but in a—’

‘Damn, girl, if you say messy in a I-don’t-care-I’m-a-sexy-beast kind of way, I want to run into this guy.’

Brittany giggled. ‘Love hair like that.’

I wondered if my face looked as hot as it felt. ‘Yeah, it was like that. He was really gorgeous and his eyes were so blue they looked—’

‘Wait,’ Brittany gasped, her own eyes widening. ‘Were his eyes, like, so blue they almost looked fake? And did he smell, like, really good? I know that sounds creepy and weird, but just answer the question.’

That was kind of creepy and weird and really funny. ‘Yes to both.’

‘Holy shit on a shoe.’ Brittany let out a loud laugh. ‘Did you get his name?’

I was starting to get worried, because Jacob also had this dawning expression on his face. ‘Yeah, why?’

Brittany elbowed Jacob, and then she lowered her voice. ‘Was it Cameron Hamilton?’

My jaw hit my lap.

‘It was!’ Brittany’s shoulders shook. ‘You ran into Cameron Hamilton?’

Jacob wasn’t smiling. He was just staring at me in … awe? ‘I am so incredibly envious of you right now. I would give my left testicle to run into Cameron Hamilton.’

I half laughed, half choked. ‘Wow. That’s pretty serious.’

‘Cameron Hamilton is serious, Avery. You wouldn’t know. You’re not from around here,’ Jacob said.

‘You’re a freshman, too. How do you know about him?’ I asked, because Cam looked too old to be a freshman. He had to at least be a junior or senior.

‘Everyone on campus knows him,’ he replied.

‘You’ve been on campus for less than a week!’

Jacob grinned. ‘I get around.’

I laughed, shaking my head. ‘I don’t get it. Yeah, he’s … hot, but so what?’

‘I went to school with Cameron,’ Brittany explained, glancing over her shoulder. ‘I mean, he was two years older than me, but he was, like, the shit in high school. Everyone wanted to be around him or with him. It’s pretty much the same here.’

Curiosity rose in spite of how what Brittany said reminded me of someone else. ‘So you guys are from around here?’

‘No. We’re from outside of the Morgantown–Fort Hill area. I don’t know why he chose this school instead of WVU, but I did because I wanted to get out of town versus being stuck with the same old people.’

I could understand that.

‘Anyway, Cameron is known around campus.’ Jacob smacked his hands together. ‘He lives off campus and supposedly throws the best parties ever and—’

‘He had a reputation in high school,’ Brittany cut in. ‘A reputation that was well earned. Don’t get me wrong. Cameron has always been a really cool guy. Very nice and funny, but he put the “or” in man-whore back then. Seems to have settled down a bit, but a leopard and their spots …’

‘Okay.’ I fiddled with my bracelet. ‘Good to know, but it doesn’t really matter. I mean, I ran into him in a hallway. That’s the extent of my knowledge of Cam.’

‘Cam?’ Brittany blinked.

‘Yeah?’ I shoved to my feet and grabbed my bag. Doors would open soon.

Brittany’s brows knitted. ‘People who he doesn’t know call him Cameron. Only his friends call him Cam.’

‘Oh.’ I frowned. ‘He told me people called him Cam, so I assumed that’s what people called him.’

Brittany didn’t say anything, and I honestly didn’t see what the big deal was. Cam/Cameron/Whatever was just being polite after I ran him over. The fact that he was a reformed party playboy meant nothing to me other than that I should stay far, far away from him.

Doors swung open and students spilled into the hallway. Our little group waited until it cleared before we headed inside, picking three seats in the back, with Jacob in between Brittany and me. As I pulled out my massive, could-knock-someone-out-if-hit-with-it, five-subject notebook, Jacob grabbed my arm.

Mischief and total mayhem filled his gaze. ‘You cannot drop astronomy. To get through this semester, I must live vicariously through you and hear about Cam at least three days a week.’

I laughed softly. ‘I’m not going to drop the class’—even though I sort of wanted to—’but I doubt I’m going to have anything to tell you. It’s not like we’re even going to talk again.’

Jacob let go of my arm and sat back, eyeing me. ‘Famous last words, Avery.’

The rest of the day wasn’t nearly as eventful as my morning had been, much to my pleasure. No more innocent hot boys almost knocked over or other humiliating incidents. Although I had to relive the experience all over again at lunch for Jacob’s entertainment, I was happy that he and Brittany had a break around the same time I did. I’d really been planning on spending most of my day being a loner, so it was nice to actually talk to people … my own age.

Being social was like riding a bike, I guess.

And besides Jacob’s unneeded advice, which entailed me purposely running into Cam the next time I saw him, there hadn’t been any awkward moments. By the end of the day, I honestly had pretty much forgotten about Cam.

Before I left campus, I headed down to the financial building to pick up an application for work-study. I didn’t need the money, but I needed the time suckage to keep my mind occupied. I had a full load—eighteen credit hours—but I would have a crap ton of free time. A job on campus seemed like the right thing to go for, but there were no spots open. My name went on an extended waiting list.

The campus was really beautiful in a quaint, peaceful sort of way. It was nothing like the sprawling campuses of huge universities. Nestled between the Potomac River and the tiny, historical town of Shepherdstown, it was like something you’d see on a postcard. Large buildings with steeples mixed in among more modern structures. Trees everywhere. Fresh, clean air and everything you needed within walking distance. I could actually walk on nicer days or at least park on West Campus to avoid paying the meter.

After giving my information for the waiting list, I hoofed it back toward my car, enjoying the warm breeze. Unlike this morning when I’d been running late, I got a chance to check out the houses on the way to the train station. Three houses, side by side, had porches full of college-aged guys. Most likely this school’s version of fraternity row.

One guy looked up, beer in hand. He smiled, but then turned as a football flew out from the open door, smacking him in the back. Curses exploded.

Definitely fraternity row.

My spine stiffened as I picked up my pace, hurrying past the houses. I hit an intersection, stepped out, and nearly got slammed by a silver truck—one of those big ones, maybe a Tundra—as it sped onto the narrow road I needed to cross. My heart jumped as the truck slammed its brakes, blocking my path.

I took a step back onto the curb, confused. Was the driver going to yell at me?

The tinted passenger window rolled down, and I about fell flat on my face.

Cameron Hamilton grinned at me from behind the wheel, baseball cap on, turned backward. Wisps of dark hair curled up under the band. And he was shirtless—totally shirtless. And from what I could see of him, just his chest, it was a mighty fine chest. Pecs—the guy had pecs. And a tattoo. On the right side of his chest, a sunburst, flames trailing back over his shoulders in vibrant hues of red and orange.

‘Avery Morgansten, we meet again.’

He was the last person I wanted to see. I had the shittiest luck known to man. ‘Cameron Hamilton … hi.’

He leaned over, dropping an arm over the steering wheel. Correction. He also had some really nice biceps. ‘We have to stop meeting like this.’

And that was the truest thing ever spoken. I needed to stop staring at his biceps … and chest … and tattoo. Never thought the sun could be so … sexy. Wow. This was awkward.

‘You running into me, me almost running over you?’ Cam elaborated. ‘It’s like we’re a catastrophe waiting to happen.’

I had no idea what to say to that. My mouth was dry, thoughts scattered.

‘Where are you heading?’

‘My car,’ I forced out. ‘I’m about to run out of time.’ Not necessarily true, because I had been generous with the quarters so I wouldn’t end up with a parking ticket, but he didn’t need to know that. ‘So …’

‘Well, hop in, sweetheart. I can give you a ride.’

Blood drained from my face and rushed to other parts of my body in a really odd and confusing way. ‘No. It’s okay. I’m right up the hill. No need at all.’

The grin spread up on the side, revealing that one dimple. ‘It’s no problem. It’s the least I can do after almost running you over.’

‘Thank you, but—’

‘Yo! Cam!’ Beer Guy jumped off the porch and jogged down the sidewalk, passing me a quick look. ‘What you up to, man?’

Saved by the frat boy.

Cam’s gaze didn’t veer from me, but his grin started to slip. ‘Nothing, Kevin, just trying to have a conversation.’

Giving Cam a quick wave, I hurried around Kevin and the front of the truck. I didn’t look back, but I could feel him watching. Over the years, knowing when someone was staring at you when you weren’t looking had become a talent of mine.

I forced myself not to run to the train station, because running away in front of the same guy twice in one day was beyond the acceptable level of weirdness. Even for me.

I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath until I was behind the wheel of my car and had the engine humming.

Jesus.

I dropped my head against the steering wheel and groaned. A catastrophe waiting to happen? Yeah, sounded about right.




Chapter 3 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


Sitting through a three-hour-long sociology class Tuesday night hadn’t been as bad as I thought it would be, but by the time class let out, I was starving. Before I headed back to my apartment, I stopped by Sheetz—a convenience store/gas station we didn’t have in Texas—and got an MTO. A made-to-order salad, heavy on the fried chicken strips and ranch dressing.

Mmm. Healthy.

My apartment building parking lot was packed with cars, some even in the nearby field that butted up to West Campus. It hadn’t been like this when I’d left for my evening class and I wondered what was going on. I managed to find a parking spot all the way near the main road and as I turned off the ignition, my cell rattled in the cup holder.

I grinned when I saw it was a text from Jacob. We’d exchanged numbers earlier in class since he lived in one of the dorms.

Art sucks was all his text said.

Laughing, I sent him a quick text back about our homework, which was to identify what painting belonged to what era. Thank God for Google, because that was how I was completing the assignment.

Gathering up my bag and food, I climbed out of my car. The air was sticky and I lifted my hair off my neck, wishing I had pulled it up into a ponytail. The scent of autumn was in the air, though, and I was eager to see cooler weather. Maybe even snow in the winter. I headed across the brightly lit parking lot, toward the center cluster of apartments. I was on the top floor—the fifth. It seemed like a lot of students lived here and most hadn’t really started to arrive until today, but as soon as I stepped up on the sidewalk, I knew where all the cars were coming from.

Music thumped from somewhere inside my apartment building. A lot of lights were on, and I could pick up pieces of conversation as I headed up the stairs. On the fifth floor, I found the culprit. The apartment across the hall, two doors down, was throwing a party. The door was cracked open, and light and music spilled into the open hallway.

A little bit of jealousy wiggled inside my chest as I unlocked my door. All the laughter, the noise, and the music sounded fun. It all seemed so normal, like something I should be doing, but parties …

Parties didn’t end well for me.

Closing my door behind me, I kicked off my shoes and dropped my bag on the couch. Furnishing this apartment had put a dent in my account, but I’d be here for four years and I figured I could sell everything when I left or take it with me.

And it was all my stuff. That meant a lot to me.

The party raged on across the hall, long after I finished my not-so-healthy salad, changed into sleep shorts and a long-sleeve shirt, and finished my art homework. It was just after midnight when I gave up on reading my English assignment and started back toward my bedroom.

But I stopped in the hallway, my toes curling into the carpet.

A burst of muffled laughter rang out and I knew the door of the party apartment must’ve been open, because it sounded louder than before. I was frozen, worrying my lower lip. What if I opened the door and recognized someone from class? It was obviously a college kid throwing the party. Maybe I would know the person? So what if I did? Wasn’t like I was going to join in when I was braless, wearing my jammies, and rocking the messiest ponytail known to man.

I turned and flipped on the bathroom light, staring at my reflection. Scrubbed of all makeup, the freckles on the bridge of my nose stood way out and my face seemed more flushed than normal. I leaned against the sink my mom would’ve laughed at and pressed my face closer to the mirror.

With the exception of my reddish-brown hair, which came from my father, I was the spitting image of my mom—straight nose, rounded chin, and high cheekbones; with all the cosmetic help she’d had over the years to stay looking fresh, we looked more like sisters than mother and daughter.

Footsteps echoed out in the hall. More laughter.

I made a face at my reflection and pushed away from the mirror. Back in the hall, I told myself to go to sleep, but I found myself walking toward my front door. I had no idea what I was doing or why I was being so nosy, but everything sounded … warm and fun out there and everything in here was cold and boring.

Warm and fun?

I rolled my eyes. God, I sounded lame. It was cold in here because I had the central air cranked like a mother.

But I was at the door and there was nothing stopping me. Yanking it open, I peered out into the stairwell, seeing two heads disappear down the steps. The door to the party was still open, and I stood there, torn. This wasn’t home. No one was going to send me a scathing look or yell obscenities at me. If anything, they’d probably think I was some kind of freak just standing there, half out my door, all bug-eyed, and letting all the cold air out.

‘Bring Raphael back!’ exclaimed a familiar voice and a deep laugh that had my stomach dropping in stunned disbelief. ‘You fucktard!’

I recognized that voice! Oh my God …

It couldn’t be. I hadn’t seen the big-ass silver truck outside, but then again, there were so many cars and it wasn’t like I was searching for his truck.

The door swung all the way open, and I froze as a guy stumbled out, laughing as he set a tortoise—what the fuck?—on the floor. The thing stuck its head out, looked around, and then disappeared into its shell.

A second later, the guy who’d put the tortoise outside was pulled back into the apartment and Cam appeared in the doorway in all his shirtless glory. He reached down and scooped up the little green guy. ‘Sorry, Raphael. My friends are complete, fucking …’ He looked up.

I tried to jerk back inside, but it was too late.

Cam saw me.

‘Assholes …’ He did a double take. ‘What the … ?’

Would dive-bombing into my apartment seem weird? Yes—yes it would. So I went with a very lame, ‘Hey …’

Cam blinked several times, as if he sought to clear his vision. ‘Avery Morgansten? This is becoming a habit.’

‘Yeah.’ I forced myself to swallow. ‘It is.’

‘Do you live here or are you visiting?’

I cleared my throat as the tortoise’s legs started moving like it was trying to wiggle away. ‘I … I live here.’

‘No shit?’ Those baby blues widened and he swaggered around the railing. I couldn’t help but notice how his gym shorts hung way low on his narrow hips. Or his stomach. It was ripped, taking six-pack into eight-pack territory. ‘You really live here?’

I forced my gaze up and got stuck on the sun tattoo. ‘Yes. I really live here.’

‘This is … I don’t even know.’ He laughed again, and I met his stare. ‘Really crazy.’

‘Why?’ Besides the fact he was standing in my apartment hallway, shirtless and barefoot, holding a tortoise named Raphael?

‘I live here.’

I gaped at him. The whole half-naked thing sort of made sense now and I guess so did the tortoise, but it couldn’t be true. Way too many coincidences. ‘You’re joking, right?’

‘No. I’ve been living here for a while—like a couple of years with my roommate. You know, the fucktard who put poor Raphael outside.’

‘Hey!’ the guy yelled from inside their apartment. ‘I have a name. It’s Señor Fucktard!’

Cam laughed. ‘Anyway, did you move in over the weekend?’

I found myself nodding.

‘Makes sense. I was back home, visiting the fam.’ He shifted Raphael to his other hand, cradling the squirming thing to his chest. ‘Well, hell …’

I was gripping the door so hard my knuckles ached. ‘That’s … um, your tortoise?’

‘Yeah.’ A half grin appeared as he lifted the little guy. ‘Raphael, meet Avery.’

I gave the tortoise a little wave, feeling stupid afterward for doing so. It just stuck its head back in its green-and-brown shell. ‘That’s a very interesting pet.’

‘And those are very interesting shorts.’ His gaze dropped. ‘What are they?’ He leaned forward, his eyes narrowing, and I stiffened. ‘Pizza slices?’

Heat swamped my cheeks. ‘They’re ice cream cones.’

‘Huh. I like them.’ Straightening, his gaze drifted up me slowly, leaving an unfamiliar wake of heat behind. ‘A lot.’

I immediately let go of the door and crossed my arms over my chest. One corner of his lips tipped up. My eyes narrowed. ‘Thanks. That means a lot to me.’

‘It should. They have my seal of approval.’ He bit down on his lower lip as his lashes lifted. Those eyes pierced mine. ‘I need to get Raphael back in his little habitat before he pees on my hand, which he’s bound to do, and that sucks.’

My lips twitched into a small grin. ‘I can imagine.’

‘So, you should come over. The guys are about to leave, but I’m sure they’ll be around for a little longer. You can meet them.’ He inched closer and lowered his voice. ‘They’re no way as interesting as I am, but they’re not bad.’

I glanced over his shoulder, part of me wanting one thing and the other part wanting nothing to do with any of this. That part won out. ‘Thanks, but I was heading to bed.’

‘This early?’

‘It has to be after midnight.’

His grin was spreading. ‘That’s still early.’

‘Maybe to you.’

‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘I have cookies.’

‘Cookies?’ My brows rose.

‘Yeah, and I made them. I’m quite the baker.’

For some reason, I couldn’t picture that. ‘You baked cookies?’

‘I bake a lot of things, and I’m sure you’re dying to know all about those things. But tonight, it was chocolate and walnut cookies. They are the shit, if I do say so myself.’

‘As great as that sounds, I’m going to have to pass.’

‘Maybe later then?’

‘Maybe.’ Not likely. I stepped back, reaching for the door. ‘Well, it’s good seeing you again, Cameron.’

‘Cam,’ he corrected. ‘And hey, we didn’t almost run each other over. Look at us, changing up the pattern.’

‘That’s a good thing.’ I was back in my apartment and he was still in front of my door. ‘You should get back before Raphael pees on your hand.’

‘Would be worth it,’ he replied.

My brows knitted. ‘Why?’

He didn’t answer that, but he did start backing up. ‘If you change your mind, I’ll be up for a while.’

‘I’m not going to. Good night, Cam.’

His eyes widened only a fraction of inch, but his grin slipped into a full smile, and my stomach sort of flopped, because his smile was wow. ‘See you tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Astronomy class? Or are you skipping again?’

My cheeks heated all over again. God, I had almost forgotten about running away in front of him like a total idiot. ‘No.’ I sighed. ‘I’ll be there.’

‘Great.’ He started backing up again. ‘Good night, Avery.’

Ducking behind the door, I closed it and then locked it. I swore I heard him chuckle, but I had to be crazy.

I stood there a few moments and then I whipped around and raced back to my bedroom. Diving under the covers, I rolled onto my stomach and shoved my face into a pillow.

Sleep. Just go to sleep.

Cam lived across the hall?

You need to get up early. Go to sleep.

How in the world was that possible? He was everywhere I went.

Go to sleep.

And why did he have a pet tortoise? And did he seriously name it after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Because that was kind of funny.

Morning’s going to come soon.

Does he only wear a shirt during class? Oh my God, he seriously lived across the hall. Jacob was going to flip … and probably move in. That would be fun. I really liked Jacob, but I had a feeling he’d borrow my clothes.

Go the fuck to sleep.

I couldn’t believe the hot dude I ran into and then ran away from lived across the hall. I don’t even know why I cared. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t interested in guys, or girls, but he was extraordinarily hot … and kind of funny … and kind of charming.

No. No. No. Stop thinking about him, because it’s pointless and hopeless, so go to sleep.

Did I eat all that salad? Man, those cookies sound good right about now.

‘Ugh!’ I groaned into the pillow.

This crap went on for about an hour before I gave up and threw myself out of bed. Out in the living room, I didn’t hear any music or noise coming from Cam’s apartment. He was probably sleeping soundly while I was up obsessing over cookies and chicken tenders and ripped stomachs.

Stomping into the extra bedroom that had become more of a library/office, I powered on my laptop and brought up my e-mail. There was one unread e-mail in my in-box, from my cousin. I deleted that without even opening it. On the left toolbar, I saw I had a few unread e-mails in my junk folder. Bored out of my mind, I clicked on the link and scanned the prescription drug offers, the ‘I have money in a foreign account’ e-mails, and the notice that Bath & Body Works was having a sale. My eyes narrowed on the subject line of the one e-mail, which had come in at around eleven the previous night.

It read AVERY MORGANSTEN and was from an e-mail address I didn’t recognize.

Well, that was strange, because my e-mail wasn’t set up under my real name, so it would be unlikely that it was a phishing scam. Only my parents and cousin had my e-mail address because, even though they had my telephone number, I’d rather have them contact me that way instead of calling. No one else had it.

My finger hovered over the mouse pad. Unease rose as knots formed in my stomach. Tucking my legs against my chest, I told myself not to open it, to just delete it—but I clicked because I had to. It was like looking at a bad car accident alongside the road. You knew you shouldn’t, but you did.

I immediately wished I hadn’t. The knots in my stomach tightened and a lump formed in the back of my throat. Nauseous, I pushed away from the desk and slammed the laptop shut. Standing in the middle of the room, I sucked in a deep breath and curled my hands into fists.

It was just two lines.

That was all.

Two lines erased thousands of miles.

Two lines ruined my entire night.

Two lines found me all the way in a little college town in West Virginia.

You’re nothing but a liar, Avery Morgansten. You’ll get yours in the end.




Chapter 4 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


I dragged myself into astronomy class ten minutes early and picked what I believed to be an inconspicuous seat in the middle of the amphitheater-style classroom. A few other students were already there, sitting up front. Yawning, I scooted down in my seat and rubbed my eyes. The gallon of coffee I drank this morning hadn’t done a thing for me, given that I only got an hour of sleep.

Two little sentences.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I rested my head on my forearm. I didn’t want to think about the e-mail or the fact that I had reopened my laptop and gone into my trash folder to see what my cousin had said. His e-mail had just been one giant bitch fest on how I was letting my parents down and how his were worried sick and afraid I was going to put Mom and Dad through another episode. You need to come home, he had written. It is the right thing to do. It was the right thing for them, and while my cousin sided with my parents and, oh, about ninety-nine percent of the town, I doubted he had been behind the other e-mail.

The e-mail address was unrecognizable to me, and while there were a lot of people that it could’ve come from, I really didn’t know who it was. It couldn’t be him because even he wasn’t stupid enough to try to contact me.

Or was he?

A shudder rolled down my spine. What if it had been Blaine? What if he found out where I’d moved to? My family wouldn’t have told him. Then again, they could’ve told his parents because they were, after all, country club pals. I was going to murder them if they had. Seriously. Catch the next flight to Texas and murder them, because the whole point of coming here was to get away from—

‘Morning, sweetheart,’ came a deep voice.

I jerked my head up and twisted around. Surprised into speechlessness, I watched Cam slide into the empty seat next to me. I must have been a little slow on the uptake, because I knew I should’ve said the seat was taken or tell him to move, but all I could do was stare.

He settled back, looking at me sideways. ‘You look a little rough this morning.’

And he looked remarkably refreshed for someone who had been partying last night. Hair damp and all over the place, eyes bright. ‘Thanks.’

‘You’re welcome. Glad to see you made it to class this time.’ He paused, tilting his head back and kicking his feet up on the seat in front of us, his eyes on me. ‘Though I kind of missed the whole running-into-each-other thing. Provided a lot of excitement.’

‘I don’t miss that,’ I admitted, bending over and rummaging through my bag for my notebook. ‘That was really embarrassing.’

‘It shouldn’t have been.’

‘Easy for you to say. You’re the one who got plowed. I was doing the plowing.’

Cam’s mouth opened. Oh my God, had I really just said that? I had. Flushing to the roots of my hair, I flipped open my notebook.

‘Raphael is doing great, by the way.’

A relieved grin snuck out. ‘That’s good to hear. Did he pee on your hand?’

‘No, but it was a close call. Brought you something.’

‘Turtle pee?’

Cam laughed and shook his head as he reached into his backpack. ‘Sorry to let you down, but no.’ He pulled out papers stapled together. ‘It’s a syllabus. I know. Thrilling shit right here, but figured since you didn’t come to class on Monday, you’d need one, so I got it from the professor.’

‘Thank you.’ I took the papers from him, somewhat shocked by the act. ‘That was really thoughtful.’

‘Well, prepare yourself. I am all kinds of thoughtful this week. I brought you something else.’

As he rooted around in his backpack, I bit down on the edge of my pen and took the moment to openly gawk at him without him knowing. It really had been a long time since I had held a conversation with a member of the opposite sex who wasn’t related to me, but from all the people-watching I’d done over the years, I thought I was handling this well. Besides the plowing comment, I was sort of proud of myself.

Cam pulled out a napkin and unfolded it with long fingers. ‘Cookie for you. Cookie for me.’

Removing the pen from my mouth, I shook my head. ‘You didn’t have to do that.’

‘It’s just a cookie, sweetheart.’

I shook my head again, because it just didn’t make sense to me. Cam didn’t make sense to me. Hell, most people didn’t make sense to me.

He looked up through those impossibly long lashes and sighed. Tearing the napkin in half, he folded up one of the cookies and then dropped it in my lap. ‘I know they say you shouldn’t take candy from strangers, but it’s a cookie and not candy and technically, I’m not a stranger.’

I swallowed.

Cam took a bite of his cookie and closed his eyes. A deep sound emanated from his throat—a growl of pleasure. My heart jumped and my cheeks heated even more as I stared at him. He made the sound again, and my mouth dropped open. A row down, a girl turned in her seat, her eyes clouded over.

‘Is it really that good?’ I asked, glancing down at the cookie in my lap.

‘Oh, yeah, this is the shit. I told you that last night. Be better if I had some milk.’ He took another bite. ‘Mmm, milk.’

I dared another peek at him and he looked like he was on the verge of having an orgasm or something.

One eye opened. ‘It’s the combination of walnut and chocolate. You mix that together and it’s like an explosion of sex in your mouth, but not as messy. The only thing better would be those teeny tiny Reese’s Cups. When the dough is warm, you plop those suckers in … Anyway, you just need to try it. Take a small bite.’

Oh, what the hell? It was just a cookie, not a crack pipe. I was being stupid. I unfolded the napkin and took a bite. The cookie practically melted in my mouth.

‘Good?’ Cam said. ‘Right?’

I took another bite and nodded.

‘Well, I have a whole ton of them at home.’ He stretched as he rolled up his napkin. ‘Just saying.’

Finishing off the cookie, I had to admit that it was a pretty damn good cookie. Wiping off my fingers, I started to roll up the napkin, but Cam reached over and took it from me. He twisted a bit in his seat, causing his knee to brush my leg.

‘Crumb,’ he said.

‘What?’

A slight grin appeared on his face and then he reached out, without the napkin, and before I knew what he was doing, he smoothed his thumb over my bottom lip. Every single muscle in my body locked up and became painfully tense. My eyes widened and the air caught in my throat. The touch was slight, barely anything, but I felt it in several parts of my body.

‘Got it.’ His grin spread.

My lip still tingled. That was all I could think about. I didn’t move, not until the door at the front of the classroom opened and the strangest man I’d ever seen rolled in. Dressed head to toe in olive-green polyester, the man had thick, curly hair that went in every which direction, peppered black and gray. His glasses were huge, resting on the tip of his nose. As he crossed the main stage, I noticed he was wearing a pair of checkered Vans … that matched his bow tie.

Cam chuckled softly. ‘Professor Drage is a very … unique man.’

‘I can see,’ I murmured.

Professor Drage had an accent I couldn’t quite place, but based on his olive skin tone, I was going with Mediterranean or Middle Eastern. He launched right into the topic—no roll call or warning. I scrambled to catch up to his introduction to the field of astronomy and units of measurement while Cam scooted even farther down in his seat and opened his notebook. His pen was making quick, short strokes over the paper, but he wasn’t taking notes.

He was drawing.

Cocking my head to the side, I tried to focus on what the hell an astronomical unit meant, which was some crazy number I couldn’t even begin to remember. Turned out to be the average distance at which the Earth orbits the sun. That was important because astronomical units were used to determine most distances in our solar system, but I found myself glancing at Cam’s notebook.

What the hell was he drawing?

‘Now, most of you kiddos don’t care about astronomical units or have never really heard of them,’ Professor Drage went on, passing the length of the stage. ‘What you are familiar with is the term “light-year.” Although, I doubt any of you really, truly understands what a light-year is.’

I was pretty sure Cam was drawing Bigfoot.

The lecture went on until Professor Drage suddenly changed gears at the end, catching me and everyone else besides Cam off guard, and started passing out star maps. ‘I know today is only Wednesday, but here is your first assignment for the weekend. Skies are supposed to be clear as a baby’s bottom on Saturday.’

‘Clear as a baby’s bottom?’ I muttered.

Cam chuckled.

‘I want you to find the Corona Borealis in the sky—the actual real, honest to goodness, night sky,’ Professor Drage explained, smiling as if he said something funny, but we all stared at him. ‘You won’t need a telescope. Use your eyes or glasses or contacts or whatever. You can view it either Friday or Saturday night, but the weather is looking sketchy on Friday, so choose wisely.’

‘Wait,’ someone from up front said. ‘How do you use this map?’

Cam handed me a map that had been passed down our row, along with several grid sheets.

Professor Drage stopped in front of the class. ‘You look at it.’

I bit back a laugh.

The student huffed. ‘I get that, but do we hold it up to the sky or something?’

‘Sure. You could do that. Or you could just look at each of the constellations, see what they look like and then use your own eyes and brains to find it in the sky.’ The professor paused. ‘Or use Google. I want all of you to start to get familiar with stargazing. You’re going to be doing a lot of that this semester and you’ll appreciate doing it now when it’s warm. So get with your partner and pick out a time. The grid will be turned back in to me on Monday. That’s all for the day. Good luck and may the force of the universe be with you today.’

Several students laughed, but my stomach dropped out of my butt.

‘Partner?’ I said, voice low as I frantically looked around the classroom. Almost everyone was turned in their seats, talking to another person. ‘When did we pick partners?’

‘On Monday,’ Cam replied, closing his notebook and shoving it into his backpack. ‘You weren’t here.’

My heart thumped in my chest as I scooted to the edge of the seat. Shit. Professor Drage had already bounced from the room. Half the students were already out the door.

‘Avery?’

How in the hell was I supposed to get a partner now? I really shouldn’t have run like a little baby on Monday. This was all my fault.

‘Avery.’

Where was the professor’s office? I was going to have to find the dude and explain I didn’t have a partner. I bet his office smelled weird, too, like mothballs.

‘Avery.’

‘What?’ I snapped, turning to Cam. Why was he still sitting here staring at me?

His brows rose. ‘We’re partners.’

‘Huh?’

‘We. Are. Partners,’ he repeated, and then sighed. ‘Apparently, Drage had the class pick their partners right at the beginning of class on Monday. I walked in afterward and at the end he told me to partner with anyone who joined the class on Wednesday or I’d be partnerless. And since I don’t like the idea of being partnerless, you and I are partners.’

I stared at him. ‘We have a choice to do this on our own?’

‘Yeah, but who wants to go out staring at the sky at night by themselves?’ He stood and slung his backpack over his shoulder as he started down the row. ‘Anyway, I know a perfect place we can do our assignment. Has to be Saturday, because I have plans Friday.’

‘Wait.’ I stood, rushing after him. ‘I do.’

‘You have plans on Saturday?’ He frowned. ‘Well, I might—’

‘No. I don’t have plans on Saturday, but we don’t have to be partners,’ I explained. ‘I can do this by myself.’

He stopped so suddenly in front of the doors that I nearly had a repeat of Monday. ‘Why would you want to do all the assignments—and if you look at his class outline, there are a lot—all by yourself?’

‘Well, I don’t really want to.’ I shifted my weight from one foot to the next. ‘But you don’t have to be my partner. I mean, you don’t owe me or anything.’

‘I don’t get what you’re saying.’ Cam tilted his head to the side.

‘What I’m saying is that …’ I trailed off. What the hell was I saying? The problem was I just didn’t get him—any of him. He didn’t know me. I didn’t know him and yet he was so … so friendly. The next words just came out of my mouth. ‘Why are you being so nice to me?’

A brow rose. ‘Is that a serious question?’

‘Yes.’

He stared at me a moment. ‘All right, I guess I’m just a nice guy. And you’re obviously new—a freshman. You seemed to be a little out of it on Monday and then you ran off, wouldn’t even come into class, and I—’

‘I don’t want your pity.’ I was horrified. He was being nice to me because he thought I was a freshman freak. Oh God, that was …

Cam frowned, and I mean really frowned. ‘You don’t have my pity, Avery. I’m just saying you seemed out of it on Monday and I figured we’d just be partners.’ He stopped and his eyes narrowed. ‘I can see that you don’t believe me. Maybe it was the cookie? Well, you refused to taste my cookies last night and, honestly, I was going to eat the other cookie, but you looked so tired and sad sitting there, I figured you needed the cookie more than I did.’

I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but there was a distinct gleam of amusement in his eyes.

‘And you’re pretty,’ he added.

I blinked. ‘What?’

That frown had faded as he opened the door, ushering me out of the class and into the hall. ‘Do not tell me you don’t know you’re pretty. If so, I’m about to lose all faith in mankind. You don’t want to be responsible for that.’

‘I know I’m pretty—I mean, that’s not what I meant.’ God, I sounded vain. I shook my head. ‘I don’t think I’m ugly. That’s what—’

‘Good. Now we’ve cleared that up.’ Tugging on my bag, he steered me toward the stairwell. ‘Watch the door. It can be tricky.’

I ignored that. ‘What does the whole pretty comment have to do with anything?’

‘You asked why I’m so nice to you. It’s mutually beneficial.’

It sank in, and I stopped on the stair above him. ‘You’re nice to me because you think I’m pretty?’

‘And because you have brown eyes. I’m a sucker for big old brown eyes.’ He laughed. ‘I’m a shallow, shallow boy. Hey, it helps that you’re pretty. It brings out the nice guy in me. Makes me want to share my cookies with you.’

I stared at him. ‘So if I was ugly, you wouldn’t be nice to me?’

Cam pivoted around, facing me. Even a whole step below, he was taller than me. ‘I’d still be nice to you if you were ugly.’

‘Okay.’

A wicked grin slipped over his full lips. He bent his head down and whispered, ‘I just wouldn’t offer you any cookies.’

I folded my arms and tried to ignore the close proximity of our faces. ‘I’m beginning to think cookies is a code word for something else.’

‘Maybe it is.’ He tugged on my bag again as he took a confident step back, forcing me down another step. ‘And just think about it. If cookies is a code word, whatever it symbolizes, it’s been in your mouth, sweetheart.’

Part of me was slightly disturbed by that, and the other part? A laugh bubbled up my throat and came out, sounding a bit hoarse. ‘You are really …’

‘Amazing? Awesome?’ He paused, brows raised. ‘Astonishing?’

‘I was going to go with bizarre.’

‘Well, hell, if I had feelings that might actually hurt.’

I grinned, falling into the easy banter with him. ‘I guess it’s a good thing that you don’t have feelings then, huh?’

‘Guess so.’ He went down a couple more steps and stopped on the landing. ‘You better hurry or you’re going to be late to your next class.’

Holy shit! He was right.

Cam laughed at my wide eyes and stepped out of my way as I charged down the steps. ‘Damn, if only you moved that fast for my cookies, I’d be a happy guy.’

‘Shut up!’ I tossed over my shoulder as I hit the next set of steps.

‘Hey!’ he yelled after me. ‘Don’t you want to know what cookies is a code word for?’

‘No! Good God, no!’

His laughter followed me into the hall and all the way to my next class.




Chapter 5 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


‘Your apartment is nice,’ Brittany said from my couch. A history text lay open but unread in her lap. ‘I would love not to have to live in a dorm. My roommate snores like a banshee.’

I hovered between the coffee table and the TV, really unsure how Brittany and Jacob had ended up in my apartment after class. At lunch, we’d talked about getting together and exchanging notes from history, and somehow my place was offered up. I thought it was Jacob’s idea, and since both of them were here we were getting absolutely no studying done.

Anxious energy buzzed through me like a hummingbird. It had been so long since I had people in my space. Back home, no one but family came around, and only the maid entered my bedroom. Not only had I been a virtual pariah in my town and at school, it had been the same way inside my house. But before that Halloween party, everyone hung out at my house, especially the girls from the studio. Everyone had still talked to me then, and I’d still danced. Before that party, things had been normal.

I fiddled with my bracelet, nervous. I liked having them here because it was normal and reminded me of the before. It was what people in college did, but it was so … different to me.

Jacob resurfaced from my kitchen, a bag of chips in hand. ‘Forget about the apartment. Don’t get me wrong. It is a nice apartment, but I want to hear more about Cam’s cookies.’

I took a chip from the bag. ‘I should’ve never told you about that conversation.’

‘Whatever,’ he replied, mouth full.

Brittany giggled. ‘I am so dying to know what cookies are slang for.’

‘Probably his cock.’ Jacob plopped down on the arm of the couch.

‘Oh my God,’ I said, taking a handful of chips. I needed the calorie fortitude for where this conversation was heading.

Brittany nodded. ‘Makes sense then. I mean, with the whole not sharing cookies with ugly girls.’

‘I don’t think he really meant that,’ I said, popping a chip in my mouth. ‘So, back to our history notes …’

‘Fuck history. Back to Cam’s cock,’ Jacob said. ‘Do you know, if cookies are a code word for cock, then that means his cock was in your mouth.’

I choked on the chip and grabbed my can of soda, inhaling the liquid as my face burned.

‘Figuratively speaking, that is,’ Jacob added, grinning like a total shithead. He hopped up. ‘I don’t know how you do it, Avery. If I lived across the hall from him, I’d be plastered to his front door noon to midnight. And I’d be all over his cookies. Yum.’

Waving a hand in front of my face, I shook my head. ‘You can have his cookies.’

‘Oh, honey, if he swung batter-batter for my team, I’d be all over that in a heartbeat.’

Brittany’s eyes rolled. ‘Big surprise there.’

‘What I don’t understand is how come you aren’t all over his cookies.’

I opened my mouth, but Brittany shook her head and said, ‘I don’t think cookies mean cock. I think it might mean his balls, being that it’s plural and all.’

Jacob burst into loud laughter. ‘Then that means his balls were in your mouth, figuratively speaking! Damn, that’s some dirty baking.’

I gaped at the two. Was this typical conversation? ‘Oh my God, can we please stop talking about his cock and balls or I’ll never be able to eat cookies again. Like, ever.’

‘No. Seriously. How come you aren’t all up on that?’ Jacob climbed onto the back of the couch like an overgrown cat. ‘He’s obviously flirting with you.’

‘So?’ I replied, believing it might be safe to eat another chip without dying.

Jacob’s jaw dropped. ‘So?’

Brittany closed the history book and dropped it on the floor with a loud thump. Guess there went studying completely. ‘Jacob is like a sex-starved woman in her mid-thirties, so he can’t possibly understand why you wouldn’t want to take a ride on the town bike.’

I glanced at Jacob, and he just shrugged and said, ‘Very true.’

‘Even I have a hard time understanding that. Cameron is really good-looking,’ Brittany continued. ‘And I’ve never heard any girl talking crap about him, so he must treat them good.’

Having no idea what to say, I dropped into the black moon chair near the TV. Explaining to them the why behind it all was a big fat no go. ‘I don’t know. I’m just not interested.’

‘Do you have ovaries?’ Jacob asked.

I shot him a look. ‘Yes.’

He slid down the back of the couch and sat beside Brittany. ‘Then how are you not interested?’

Shoving the rest of the chips in my mouth, I struggled to respond without coming across like a frigid prude. But I was a total frigid prude, wasn’t I? Or afflicted, depending on who you asked. Either way, while the idea of cocks and balls interested me, the thought of actually getting up close and personal with them made me break out in a cold sweat.

And I was sweating now. The chips were already souring in my stomach. I’d be breaking out the Tums later. My mind immediately went straight to the e-mail from last night.

Liar.

Wiping my hands over my jeans, I shook my head. ‘I’m just not interested in a relationship.’

Jacob laughed. ‘We’re not saying that Cam is either, you know? You don’t have to want to be in a relationship for a little bow-chicka-bow-wow.’

Brittany looked at him slowly. ‘Did you really just say that?’

‘I did. And I owned it. Gonna make me a shirt that says that.’ Jacob flashed a grin. ‘Anyway, all I’m saying is he’s an opportunity you might not want to pass up.’

I didn’t even give that a thought. ‘Why are we even talking about this? We have one class together and he lives across the hall—’

‘And you’re partners for the rest of the semester,’ Brittany added. ‘Kind of romantic, going out at night and gazing up at stars.’

My stomach tightened. ‘It’s not romantic. Nothing is romantic.’

Her brows rose as she ran her hand through the short locks of blond hair. ‘Well, hello, Debbie Downer.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘All I’m saying is that I don’t know him. He doesn’t know me. And he’s just a flirt. You’ve even said he’s the town bike. This is just probably how he is. He’s a nice and friendly guy. That’s all. So can we just forget about it?’

‘Yeah, you bitches be boring me to tears,’ Jacob said, and Brittany stuck her pierced tongue out at him. Light glinted off the bolt, and I winced, thinking that had to have hurt. ‘And I need some salsa to go with these chips.’

‘In the bottom cupboard,’ I shouted, but he was already halfway in the kitchen, doors opening and slamming.

Much to my relief, the topic veered away from me and the nonexistent whatever with Cam. Hours passed and I became more comfortable with having them there, and we even cracked open our history books for a few short seconds. When it got close to nine, they packed up their stuff and headed toward the door.

Brittany stopped and sprang forward. Before I could prepare myself, she gave me a quick hug and peck on the cheek. I stood there, sort of shell-shocked. She smiled. ‘There’s a big party at one of the frats Friday night. You should come with.’

I remembered Cam saying he was busy Friday and since he obviously liked to party, that was probably why. I shook my head. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Don’t be antisocial,’ Jacob said, opening the door. ‘We’re cool people to hang with.’

I laughed. ‘I know. I’ll think about it.’

‘Okay.’ Brittany wiggled her fingers. ‘See you tomorrow.’

Out in the hall, Jacob started pointing at Cam’s door as he thrust his hips and wiggled his ass. I bit down on my lip to stop laughing. It went on until Brittany caught the collar of his polo and yanked him down the stairs.

Smiling, I shut the door and locked it. It didn’t take much time for me to clean up and get ready for bed. The whole bed thing was pointless because I wasn’t sleepy, and since I was avoiding the laptop and therefore my e-mail, I ended up watching reruns of Ghost Hunters until I was convinced there was a poltergeist in my bathroom. Turning off the TV, I stood and ended up doing something I hated.

Pacing my apartment like I used to do in my bedroom back home. With the TV off and my apartment quiet, I could hear little minute noises from the other apartments. I focused on those noises instead of letting my mind do the wander thing because tonight had been good and I didn’t want to ruin it. The last couple of days had been great, with the exception of the whole plowing-into-Cam thing. Things were good.

I stopped behind my couch, only realizing then what I was doing.

Looking down, I saw the sleeve of my shirt pushed up and my fingers wrapped around my left wrist. Slowly, meticulously, I lifted up my fingers, one by one. There were faint pink indents from the bracelet pressing into my skin. For the last five years, I only took the bracelet off at night and when I showered. Those indents would probably be permanent.

Just like the jagged scar the bracelet hid.

I removed my hand completely. The two-inch stretch of a deeper pink slashed down the very center of my wrist, over the vein. It had been a deep cut made with broken glass from the picture frame I’d thrown after the first picture had circulated the high school.

When I’d made that cut, it had been the lowest point of my life and I hadn’t been joking around. There would’ve been a matching violent slash on my right wrist if it hadn’t been for the maid hearing the glass break.

The picture had been of me and my best friend, the very same best friend who had been one of the first to turn her back and whisper words like whore and liar.

I had wanted to end it then. Just check out, because at that point in my life, nothing could’ve been worse than what had happened to me, what my parents had agreed to, and the subsequent fallout. In a matter of months, my life had utterly separated into two ragged chunks: before and after. And I hadn’t been able to see a possible after when the entire school got behind Blaine.

Now? The after seemed endless, but shame burned like a low fire in my belly as I stared at the scar. Suicide was never the answer and if anything, checking out was letting all of them win. I’d learned the lesson all by myself, since therapy had never been an option. My parents would’ve rather cut off their legs than suffer through the embarrassment of having a daughter who had tried to commit suicide and needed therapy. More money had exchanged hands to keep my afternoon hospital run quiet.

Apparently my parents were okay with having a daughter labeled a lying whore.

But I hated seeing the physical embodiment of my weakness, would be beyond humiliated if anyone ever saw it.

Sudden deep laughter from the hallway drew my attention—Cam’s laughter. My head swiveled toward the kitchen. On the stove, the clock read near one in the morning.

I tugged my sleeve down.

‘Can’t you skip it Friday night?’ a feminine voice asked, slightly muffled through the wall.

There was a pause and then I heard Cam say, ‘You know I can’t, sweetheart. Maybe next time.’

Sweetheart? Oh! I heard their footsteps round the railing outside the apartment, hitting the stairwell.

Rushing around the couch, I made my way over to the window. Since my apartment was at the end and overlooking the parking lot, all I had to do was wait. And then there they were, a shirtless Cam and a girl.

A really tall, leggy brunette wearing a cute denim skirt. That was all I could make out from the window as they crossed the parking lot. The girl stumbled but caught herself before Cam had to intervene. They stopped behind a dark-colored sedan. I felt like a total peeper watching them, but I was riveted.

Cam said something and laughed when the girl playfully shoved his shoulder. A second later, they hugged and then he stepped back, giving her a little wave before turning back to the apartment building. Halfway back, he glanced up toward our floor, and I jumped back like a total idiot. He couldn’t see me. There was no way without any lights on in my apartment.

I laughed at myself and then quieted when I heard a door shut down the hall.

Relief poured into me, easing the muscles that had been tightening on and off. Seeing him with another girl was … good. Totally reaffirmed the fact that Cam was a very charming, harmless flirt who liked to hand out cookies to pretty girls and had a pet tortoise named Raphael. That was good. That was doable. I could handle that. Otherwise, what Brittany and Jacob were suggesting made me itchy and antsy.

Maybe Cam and I would become friends. I was okay with that, because it was nice to have more friends like before.

But as I climbed into bed and lay awake, staring at the ceiling, for a moment, a really brief moment, I wondered what it would be like if Cam were interested in me like that. To have something like that to look forward to. To be giddy and excited whenever he looked at me or when our hands accidentally touched. I wondered what it would be like to be interested in him like that, or in any guy for that matter. To look forward to dates, to first kisses, and all the things that came after that. I bet it would be nice. It would be like before.

Before Blaine Fitzgerald had taken all of that away.

Storm clouds were rolling in Thursday morning and it looked like it would be a rainy, cruddy day on campus. Luckily I only had two classes to sloth through, so before I headed out, I grabbed a hoodie and slipped it over my shirt. I thought about changing out of my shorts and flip-flops, but decided I was feeling way too lazy to go to that much trouble.

Texting Jacob to see if he wanted me to pick up any coffee before I hit art class, I slipped out of my apartment and made it to the stairwell before Cam’s apartment door flew open and a guy came out, pulling a shirt down over his head. His shaggy, shoulder-length blond hair poked through, and I recognized him as the guy with Cam’s tortoise—the roommate.

The moment our eyes met, a big smile broke out across his tan face, exposing a row of ultrawhite teeth. ‘Hey! I’ve seen you before.’

My gaze flicked behind him. He’d left the door wide open. ‘Hey, you are … tortoise guy.’

Confusion flickered across his face as his sandals smacked off the cement. ‘Tortoise guy? Oh, yeah.’ He laughed, the skin crinkling around his brown eyes. ‘You saw me with Raphael, right?’

I nodded. ‘And I think you called yourself Señor Fucktard.’

Letting out another loud laugh, he joined me on the stairs. ‘That’s my drinking name. Most days people know me as Ollie.’

‘That sounds much better than Señor Fucktard.’ I smiled as we rounded the fourth-floor landing. ‘I’m—’

‘Avery.’ When my eyes widened, he gave a toothy grin. ‘Cam told me your name.’

‘Oh. So … um, you’re heading to—’

‘Yo douche bag, you left the door open!’ Cam’s voice boomed down the stairwell, and a second later, he appeared at the top of the stairs, the black baseball cap on. A lopsided grin appeared as he spotted us and bounded down the steps. ‘Hey, what are you doing with my girl?’

My girl? What? I almost tripped over my feet.

‘I was explaining to her how I go by two names.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Cam dropped an arm over my shoulders, and one of my flip-flops snagged in the back of my other one. His arm tightened, pulling me to his side. ‘Whoa, sweetheart, almost lost you there.’

‘Look at you.’ Ollie hopped down the steps. ‘Got the girl tripping all over her feet.’

Cam chuckled as he reached up with his free hand and slid the cap around backward. ‘I can’t help it. It’s my magnetic charm.’

‘Or it could be your smell,’ Ollie retorted. ‘I’m not sure I heard a shower this morning.’

Cam gasped in mocked outrage. ‘Do I smell bad, Avery?’

‘You smell great,’ I murmured, feeling my face heat. It was the truth, though. He smelled wonderful—a mixture of fresh linen, faint cologne, and something else that was probably all him. ‘I mean, you don’t smell bad.’

Cam watched me for almost a moment too long. ‘Heading to class?’

We were walking down the steps, but his arm was still around my shoulders and the entire side of my body seemed to tingle like it had fallen asleep. He was so … casual about it. Like it was nothing to him and it probably wasn’t. I remembered how he and the girl had hugged last night, but to me, it was …

There were no words.

‘Avery?’ Cam’s voice lowered.

I wiggled free, and I saw the way Ollie’s grin spread. I headed down the stairs, needing distance. ‘Yeah, I’m heading to art. What about you guys?’

Cam easily caught up with me on the third floor. ‘We’re going out to breakfast. You should skip and join us.’

‘I think I’ve done enough skipping this week.’

‘I’m skipping,’ Ollie announced, ‘but Cam doesn’t have a class until this afternoon, so he’s a good boy.’

‘And you’re a bad boy?’ I asked.

Ollie’s grin was contagious. ‘Oh, I’m a bad, bad boy.’

Cam shot his friend a look. ‘Yeah, as in bad at spelling, math, English, cleaning up after yourself, talking to people, and I could go on.’

‘But I’m good at the things that count.’

‘And what are those things?’ Cam asked as we exited the building. Outside the air carried the faint scent of dampness, and the clouds looked plump with water.

Ollie jogged out in front of us and turned so that he was facing us as he walked backward, completely ignoring the red truck trying to back up. He held up a tanned hand and started ticking off his fingers. ‘Drinking, socializing, snowboarding, and soccer—remember that sport, Cam? Soccer?’

The easy grin slipped off Cam’s face. ‘Yeah, I remember it, asshole.’

Ollie just laughed and turned, heading toward where the silver truck was parked. I glanced up at Cam, curious. He stared straight ahead, jaw set and eyes like chips of ice. Without looking down at me, he shoved his hands into his jeans and said, ‘See you around, Avery.’

With that, he joined Ollie over at his truck, and I’d swear the temperature dropped to match the sudden coolness in Cam’s attitude. Didn’t take a genius or an overly intuitive person to figure out that Ollie had touched on a sore spot and Cam hadn’t been in the mood to elaborate.

Shivering, I hurried to my car and jumped in. Not a second too soon as a big, fat raindrop splatted against the windshield. As I backed out, I glanced over, my eyes finding them. Both guys were standing by the bed of the truck, Ollie smiling and Cam with the same distant, rigid set to his expression as he spoke. Whatever he was telling his friend, he wasn’t happy about it.




Chapter 6 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


I had no idea how I let Cam talk me into riding with him and not taking two cars, but Saturday night—the night of our assignment—just before dusk, I found myself climbing into the massive silver truck. My stomach had been in knots since Friday night, when Jacob started hounding me about the party he and Brittany were going to. It had been good-natured and I wanted to go, but I couldn’t bring myself to really do it. Besides, I had no idea where the house was, it had been late when he’d started texting, and it had been storming again.

And now I was as nervous as a mouse in a room full of hungry cats. As lame as this was, I’d never been in a car with a guy before. Man, even admitting that to myself sounded incredibly pathetic. Like take-that-little-secret-to-my-grave level of pathetic.

Cam shoved the keys into the ignition as he glanced over at me. The baseball cap was on again, twisted backward. Behind the thick lashes, his eyes glimmered a bright azure. ‘Ready steady?’

Tugging my lightweight cardigan around me, I nodded. When I saw him in astronomy yesterday morning, he was his usual self—joking, flirting, and offering cookies. I hoped that meant whatever had gone down between him and Ollie had been worked out. ‘Are you sure we can’t just do this around here?’

‘This place will be perfect. I will never lead you wrong, sweetheart.’

‘Okay,’ I murmured, clasping my hands together tightly. I turned to the side window, watching as we blew past the campus and crossed the bridge into Maryland.

Fifteen minutes later, Cam turned onto the road leading to the visitors’ center in Antietam National Battlefield. The history nerd in me started doing cartwheels, but I was way too nervous about being out here at night with Cam. Not that he seemed like the type to try anything, but if I knew anything, there was no ‘type’ when it came to that sort of thing. My nerves felt stretched thin and frayed at the edges.

‘Are you sure we’re allowed to be out here at night?’ I asked, glancing around.

‘Nope.’ He pulled into a parking spot. There were only a handful of cars.

I stared at him. ‘What?’

He laughed as he killed the engine. ‘I’m kidding. All we have to do is tell one of the rangers that we’re from the university. They’ll be cool about it.’

I hoped so. The idea of being chased off the battlefield by a park ranger wasn’t on my list of things to accomplish before I died.

However, from a quick look at Cam, it looked like something he’d be down for.

‘You ready?’

Grabbing my bag off the floor, I opened the truck door. ‘Yeah, let’s get this over with.’

Cam grabbed a flashlight out of the glove box as he chuckled. ‘Don’t sound too excited.’

I sent him a quick grin. ‘I’m not.’

‘Don’t lie.’ He walked around the hood and joined me, pointing over to where a cement tower with a red top rose into the sky. ‘That’s where we want to go.’

‘The tower on Bloody Lane?’

He shot me a quick look. ‘You’ve been here before?’

‘No.’

‘Then how did you know that’s Bloody Lane?’

I smiled slightly as I picked up a strand of my hair, twisting it between my fingers. ‘I’m a history major, so places like this appeal to me. Read up on it before. Bloodiest day of the whole war took place on that little stretch of dirt road.’

‘Yeah, that’s what they say. Hold on a sec.’ He turned to where a ranger was cutting across the field. ‘Be right back.’

I watched him jog over to where the ranger waited. Words seemed to be exchanged and then Cam showed him his notebook. The ranger laughed and they shook hands. Tipping my head back, I could already see tiny stars appearing in the deep blue sky. Nightfall would be on us in minutes.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Cam swaggered back to my side. ‘We’re good to go. And we’re not the only ones. There are a few students down by the other side of the tower.’

‘Cool.’ I fell in step with him, keeping a healthy distance between us. ‘Why do so many people come here to do this? I’m sure there are places closer to campus.’

‘Not like this. Look around.’ He shoved the flashlight in his back pocket. ‘Besides the houses across the street, there are no city lights or towers everywhere. It’s just the sky.’

‘And cornfields,’ I pointed out.

He nodded. ‘Lots of cornfields.’

We hit the paved portion of the lane and started toward the tower. ‘How long do you think this will take?’ I asked.

‘Why? You got a hot date tonight?’

I barked out a short laugh. ‘Uh, no.’

One single dark brow arched up. ‘You sound like that’s an insane idea. That no one would go out on a Saturday night for a date.’

Dropping the piece of hair I was playing with, I forced a casual shrug. ‘I’m not dating anyone.’

‘So why the rush?’

Admitting that I was seriously uncomfortable being out here would be embarrassing and rude, so I said nothing.

‘Are you worried that I’ve brought you out here for my own nefarious plans?’

I came to a complete stop. Knots formed in my stomach. ‘What?’

Cam stopped and turned toward me. His grin slipped a notch. ‘Hey, Avery, I’m just joking. Seriously.’

Heat swamped my cheeks and the knots unraveled, replaced by a strong feeling of total lameness. ‘I know. I’m just …’

‘Jumpy?’ he supplied.

‘Yeah, that.’

He studied me a moment longer and then started walking again. ‘Come on. It’ll be dark soon.’

Trailing behind him, I pictured myself running straight into the old wooden fences and impaling myself on one of the pointy ends. God, I needed to get a grip. Not every guy was like Blaine. I knew that. Totally understood that. I wasn’t completely damaged by my affliction.

On the other side of the tower, near the plaques, two students from our astronomy class sat on the bench, notebooks in their laps. They waved at us and as we waved back, Cam headed a little farther down the wide parking lot and then veered off toward the grassy hill overlooking the dirt path of Bloody Lane.

Cam picked a spot and pulled out the flashlight before he sat down. I hovered a few steps back, listening to the low hum of the crickets. The ground had dried out from yesterday’s weather, but even if it were wet, it wouldn’t have stopped me from sitting down. I was just too keyed up.

‘Join me?’ Patting the spot beside him, he inclined his head. ‘Pretty please? I’m lonely all by myself over here.’

Biting down on my lip, I sat a few feet away from him and then busied myself with finding my astronomy notebook. As I pulled it out, I glanced over at him and our eyes locked. I couldn’t look away. Intense. That was the first word that came to mind. His stare was intense, like he was seeing right through me.

Clearing my throat, I fixed my attention on the notebook. Finally, Cam spoke. ‘What constellation are we supposed to be mapping?’

He held the flashlight while I skimmed through my notes. ‘Um, the Corona Borealis, I think.’

‘Ah, the northern crown.’

I glanced at him, brows raised. ‘You knew that off the top of your head?’

He laughed. ‘I might not take notes, but I do pay attention.’

I was pretty sure he slept through the vast majority of the class yesterday. I slid out the grid Professor Drage made for us and then the star map and found the Corona Borealis on it. ‘I really don’t understand how anyone sees shapes in the stars.’

‘Really?’ He scooted over and peered over my shoulder. ‘The shapes are pretty obvious.’

‘Not to me. I mean, it’s just a bunch of stars in the sky. You can probably see whatever you want to see.’

‘Look at the Borealis.’ He tapped his finger off the map. ‘It’s obviously a crown.’

I laughed. ‘It does not look like a crown. It looks like an irregular half circle.’

He shook his head. ‘Look. You can see it now easily. That’s a crown. Come on, see the seven stars.’

I craned my head back as I grabbed a pen from my bag. ‘I see the seven stars, but I also see about a hundred others peeking out. I also see the cookie monster.’

Cam burst into laughter. It was a nice sound, deep and rich. ‘You’re ridiculous.’

My lips pulled into a smile as I hovered my pen over the grid. I had no idea what latitude line to start at. I glanced up toward the Borealis and managed to draw a line where I thought I should, connecting two dots.

‘You know where the name comes from?’ When I shook my head, he reached over and took the pen from my hand. His fingers brushed mine, and I pulled my hand back, planting it in the lush grass. ‘It represents the crown given by the god Dionysus to Ariadne. When she married Bacchus, he placed her crown in the heavens in honor of their marriage.’

I stared at him. ‘Professor Drage didn’t teach that in class.’

‘I know.’

Leaning back, I studied him. ‘Then why do you know that?’

‘Why don’t you know that?’

I cocked my head to the side, brows raised.

‘Okay. Maybe most people wouldn’t know that off the top of their head.’ He twirled my pen between his fingers. ‘I actually took part of this class as a freshman, but had to drop it.’

‘Really?’

He nodded, but didn’t elaborate.

‘You’re, what, a junior?’

‘Yep. I ended up having to take a year off, which put me behind.’

I wanted to ask why but decided it was none of my business. ‘Why did you retake astronomy?’ I decided that was a safe topic. ‘Is it a part of your major?’

‘No. I just like the class and Professor Drage.’ He paused, flipping off the flashlight. ‘I’m studying recreation and sport. Would like to get into sport rehabilitation.’

‘Oh. Did you …’ I trailed off as the girl behind us broke out into a fit of giggles. Glancing over my shoulder, my eyes widened.

The two students from our class were definitely a couple or well on the way to becoming one. Their notebooks were forgotten on the bench. She was in his lap, their faces inches apart, and his hand was slipped under the hem of her skirt.

‘Now that is an interesting form of stargazing,’ Cam commented.

I was grateful for the darkening sky, because my face started to heat. I knew I should turn away, because watching them made me a total creeper, but I couldn’t. Not even when the girl’s hand threaded through the boy’s hair, pulling his head to hers, and they started really kissing and his hand was all the way up her skirt, to his forearm.

Wow.

Cam poked me in the arm with my pen, drawing my attention. He looked … curious. ‘What?’ I said.

‘Nothing. It’s just that …’ He seemed to choose his next words wisely. ‘You’re watching them like … you’ve never seen a couple do that before.’

‘I am?’

He nodded. ‘So unless you were raised in a convent, I imagine you’ve been in a lap a time or two, right?’

‘No, I haven’t!’ I winced, because I practically yelled that. ‘I mean, I haven’t been in a guy’s lap.’

‘What about a girl’s lap?’

‘What? No!’

A slow grin spread across his face. ‘I was joking, Avery.’

I gritted my teeth. ‘I know, it’s just that …’

‘What?’ He poked me again. ‘You what?’

My mouth opened and the worse kind of verbal vomit happened. ‘I’ve never been in a relationship.’ The moment those words came out of my mouth I wanted to kick myself in the boob. Who admitted that to a virtual stranger? Clenching the edges of my notebook, I peeked up at Cam. He was staring at me like I’d just claimed to be the Virgin Mary. My cheeks burned. ‘What? It’s not a big deal.’

He blinked and gave his head a little shake as he turned back to the sky. ‘You’ve never been in a relationship?’

‘No.’ I shifted, uncomfortable to the max, like I’d laid my soul bare.

‘Nothing?’

‘That’s what no means.’

Cam’s mouth opened and then closed. ‘How old are you?’

I rolled my eyes as I wiggled. ‘I’m nineteen.’

‘And you haven’t been in a single relationship?’ he asked again.

‘No.’ The paper was starting to crumple under my fingers. ‘My parents … they were strict.’ Such a lie, but it sounded believable. ‘I mean, really strict.’

‘I can tell.’ Cam tapped my pen off his notepad. ‘So have you gone on a date or anything?’

Sighing, I cast my eyes to my paper. ‘I thought we were supposed to be mapping stars?’

‘We are.’

‘No, we’re not. All I have is a scribbly line and you have nothing.’

‘That scribbly line is between the Delta and Gamma.’ He leaned over, connecting two of the dots. ‘Here is the Theta and this is the Alpha—brightest star. See, we are halfway done.’

I frowned as I glanced up, tracing the pattern of the stars in the sky. Hell, he was getting it right. Then he leaned in again, his shoulder pressing into mine as he drew a perfect line to another dot on the map. I bit down on my lip as he continued to finish the map without looking up once or at the star map. I was acutely aware of how warm his arm felt even through the two layers of clothing. The warmth from the contact spread up my shoulder and across my chest, kicking my pulse up.

He turned his head toward me. ‘Now we’re done mapping stars.’

I sucked in a sharp breath. Our faces were inches apart, and he was way too close. My gaze fell to his lips. They were curved up on one side and that dimple started to appear in his left cheek. His lips started moving, but I didn’t hear a word he was saying. I wanted to move away, but I … I didn’t want to. Confusion swept through my body as I struggled not to shy away … and not to move closer. It was like being caught between two opposing magnets.

Maybe I should stop staring at his lips.

Sounded like a good plan, because staring at a guy’s lips was kind of creepy, so I forced my gaze up. Oh boy, wrong move, because now I was staring into those panty-dropping eyes, as Jacob had referred to them earlier when he texted. And Jacob had been right. I bet there was a legion of discarded panties in the wake of wherever Cam went. It should be illegal for a boy to have lashes as thick as his. Even in the darkness, his eyes were the shade of denim. The somewhat tolerable warmth turned into near unbearable heat as it sped through my veins.

I squirmed again, unable to remember feeling like this in a long time. At least not since the Halloween party. Maybe before. Definitely before. There was just something about Cam that sort of made me forget everything except what was happening that very moment. Sounded normal. I liked it, for the most part.

‘Are you listening to me?’

I blinked slowly. ‘Huh? Yes! Yes. Totally.’

His grin turned knowing, and I wanted to crawl under a prickly bush. ‘Yeah … so, you haven’t been on a date?’

‘What?’

Cam chuckled softly. ‘You really haven’t been listening to me at all. You’ve been too busy staring at me.’

‘I have not!’ My entire face burned with that little fib, and I hastily focused on where the couple had been. They were gone now.

He nudged my shoulder. ‘Yes, you have.’

I screwed up my face. ‘You are so beyond the acceptable level of arrogance.’

‘Arrogant? I’m just stating the truth.’ Cam tossed his notebook on the ground and leaned back on his elbows, eyeing me through his lowered lashes. That damn, insufferable lopsided grin was on his face. ‘There’s nothing wrong with staring at me. I like it.’

My mouth dropped open. How in the world was I supposed to respond to that? ‘I wasn’t staring at you. Not really. I sort of … dazed out. That’s how thrilling talking to you is.’

‘Everything about me is thrilling,’ he replied.

‘About as thrilling as watching your tortoise cross a road.’

‘Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.’

‘Keep calling me sweetheart and you’re going to be limping.’

Cam’s eyes widened. ‘Oh, listen to you.’

‘Whatever.’

‘We should do it.’

My mind went straight to where it shouldn’t have gone, and my skin started to prickle. ‘Do what? Go home? I’m all about going home, like, right now.’

‘Go on a date.’

Obviously I had missed an important part in this conversation. I closed my notebook and reached around, grabbing my bag. ‘I’m not sure I’m following this conversation.’

‘It’s really not that complicated.’ He laughed when I shot him a look. ‘We should go out on a date.’

My stomach dropped as I looked back at him. He looked so content, half sprawled on the ground. Was he joking? Was he high? I shoved my notebook into my bag, along with my pen. ‘I don’t understand.’

Cam lay back and stretched his arms above his head, causing his shirt to ride up and expose a slice of tan skin and two indents on either side of his hips … dear God. I looked away and took a huge gulp of air.

‘Typically going on a date is when two people go out for the evening, or sometimes during the day. Really, it can be any time of the day or night. It usually involves dinner. Sometimes a movie or a walk in the park. Though I don’t do walks in the park. Maybe on a beach, but since there aren’t any—’

‘I know what a date is,’ I snapped, shoving to my feet.

He remained on the ground, and he didn’t look like he was moving anytime soon. I should’ve taken my own car. ‘You said you didn’t understand,’ he pointed out gamely. ‘So I’m explaining what a date means.’

Frustrated … and reluctantly amused, I crossed my arms. ‘That’s not the part I don’t understand and you know that.’

‘I was just making sure we were on the same page.’

‘We’re not.’

Cam lowered his arms, but there was still a gap between his shirt and jeans. Was he wearing underwear? All I saw was a leather belt and jeans. Okay. I didn’t need to start thinking about that. ‘So now that we both know what a date entails, we should go out on one,’ he said.

‘Uh …’

Cam laughed as he sat up in one fluid moment. ‘That’s not really a response, Avery.’

‘I …’ A date? A date with Cameron Hamilton? Two things rose at once: unease and interest. I took a step back, putting distance between me and him and everything else. ‘Don’t you have a girlfriend?’

His brows shot up in surprise and he laughed. ‘A girlfriend? No.’

‘Then who was that brunette stumbling out of your apartment Wednesday night?’ I asked.

Cam’s grin spread into a wide smile. ‘Have you been watching me, Avery?’

‘No. No! What? I wasn’t watching you. I do have a life.’

He arched a brow. ‘Then how do you know about Stephanie?’

‘That’s her name?’

‘Yes, and no, she’s not my girlfriend.’ He cocked his head to the side as he stared up at me. ‘And she wasn’t stumbling. Maybe shuffling.’

I rolled my eyes.

‘So how did you see her if you weren’t watching me?’ he asked as he crossed his ankles. ‘And I don’t mind the idea of you watching me. Remember, I like that.’

I forced myself to take a deep, slow breath before I walked up and kicked him in the leg. ‘I wasn’t watching you. I couldn’t sleep and I was staring out my living room window. I just happened to see you walking her out to her car.’

‘Well, that makes sense. Not nearly as entertaining as you standing by your window hoping to catch a glimpse of me.’

All I could do was stare at him.

He winked, and damn, if he didn’t look good doing it. ‘Steph’s not my girlfriend by the way. We aren’t like that.’

Which meant they were most likely hooking up, and there was nothing wrong with that. And maybe that was what he wanted from me with this whole date thing. Jacob would be thrilled to hear that. Mental note to self: so not telling him about this. ‘I’m not like that.’

‘Like what?’ he asked.

So he was going to make me spell it out. Of course. Why not? ‘I’m not like her.’

‘Do you know her?’

My eyes narrowed. ‘I don’t just hook up with guys for fun, okay? I don’t see anything wrong with it. Totally not judging here, but that’s not me. So I’m not interested. Sorry.’

‘Wait a sec. I’m confused. You’re not judging her, but you’ve made the assumption that she’s into random hookups? That she’s my fuck buddy? Isn’t that kind of making a rush judgment based on assumptions?’

Damn it, he had a point. ‘You’re right. I don’t know if that’s what you guys are about. Maybe you’re just childhood buddies or something.’

‘We’re not.’ That mischievous grin was back. ‘We hook up every once in a while.’

I gaped at him. ‘I was right! Then why did you accuse me of being judgmental?’

‘I was just pointing it out,’ he replied, eyes twinkling like those damn stars in the sky. ‘And for the record, we didn’t hook up Wednesday night. Not for the lack of trying on her part, but I wasn’t feeling it.’

I remembered how the girl had looked, and I wondered what red-blooded male wouldn’t have been feeling that. ‘Whatever. This is a stupid conversation.’

‘I like this conversation.’

Shaking my head, I bent and reached for my bag, but Cam shot to his feet and grabbed it before I could get my fingers around the strap. I sighed as I held out my hand. ‘Give it to me.’

‘I’m trying to.’

I shot him a disgusted look.

Chuckling, he stepped forward and laid the strap over my shoulder. His fingers brushed my neck, and I couldn’t stop my body from jumping at the slight touch. He stepped back and picked up the flashlight. ‘See? I was just being a gentleman.’

‘I don’t think you’re a gentleman,’ I grumbled as my fingers tightened around the strap. ‘But thank you.’

He swiped his notebook off the ground and we headed back to where his truck was parked, passing the now empty bench. He shone the flashlight when we hit the field, lighting our path. I guess to prove me wrong, he opened the door for me when we stopped in front of his truck. ‘M’lady.’

‘Thank you,’ I said, a little more appreciative sounding than before.

Instead of closing the door, Cam leaned against the frame and placed a hand on the edge of the open door. ‘So, what about it?’

‘What about what?’

He eyed me with the same intense interest he had earlier. ‘Go out on a date with me.’

I stiffened. ‘Why?’

‘Why not?’

‘That’s not an answer.’ Yanking the strap on the seat belt, I busied myself with securing it. My hands were shaking, so I kept missing the latch.

‘What kind of question was that? How am I—hey, it’s just a seat belt. Not that hard.’ He leaned over, taking control. His hands brushed over mine, and I jerked back against the seat. He paused and looked at me; those lips usually tilted up started to tip down at the corners. Something flared in his eyes. I don’t know what it was, but it was gone as he snapped the seat belt in place. He didn’t move back, though. ‘Why shouldn’t we go out on a date?’

I strained back against the seat, my hands curling into fists in my lap. It wasn’t that I was that uncomfortable with him being so close. It was that I was uncomfortable with the way I noticed every slight touch of skin or look. ‘Because … because we don’t know each other.’

His lips tipped up again. I decided I liked them like that better than the frowny face. ‘That’s what a date is all about. Getting to know each other.’ Cam’s eyes dropped to my mouth. ‘Go out on a date with me.’

‘There’s nothing to know about me.’ The words came out in a heady whisper as my chest rose sharply.

He tilted his head to the side. ‘I’m sure there is tons to know about you.’

‘There’s not.’

‘Then we can spend the time with me talking.’

‘That sounds like fun.’

‘Oh, it will be more thrilling than watching Raphael cross a road.’

‘Ha.’

He grinned. ‘Thought you’d like that.’

I felt the side pocket of my bag vibrate against my leg once. A text message? Probably from Jacob. I wanted to reach for it, but I would end up smacking my head into Cam’s. Not something I wanted to repeat. ‘Can we go yet?’

‘Can we go on a date?’

‘Good God, you don’t give up.’

‘Nope.’

I laughed, couldn’t help it, and his smile spread in response to the sound. ‘I’m sure there are plenty of girls who want to go out on a date with you.’

‘There are.’

‘Wow. Modest, aren’t you?’

‘Why should I be?’ he shot back. ‘And I want to go out on a date with you. Not them.’

‘I don’t understand why.’

His dark brows rose. ‘I can think of a few reasons. You’re not like most girls. That interests me. You’re awkward in this really … adorable way. You’re smart. Want me to list more?’

‘No. Not at all,’ I told him quickly. I needed to nip this in the bud. Reputation aside, he was a hell of a lot more than I could ever hope to handle. He would expect things I couldn’t give him. Holding a conversation with him was difficult enough sometimes. ‘I don’t want to go out on a date with you.’

Cam didn’t look surprised by my response, or the least bit daunted. ‘I figured you’d say that.’

‘Then why did you ask?’

He finally—thank God—backed away and gripped the side of the door. ‘Because I wanted to.’

‘Oh. Well. Okay. Glad you got it out of your system.’

His brows knitted. ‘I haven’t gotten it out of my system.’

Oh no. ‘You haven’t?’

‘Nope.’ He flashed a charming grin. ‘There’s always tomorrow.’

‘What about tomorrow?’

‘I’ll ask you again.’

I shook my head. ‘The answer will be the same.’

‘Maybe. Maybe not.’ He reached out and tapped the tip of my nose. ‘And maybe you’ll say yes. I’m a patient guy, and hey, like you said, I don’t give up easily.’

‘Great,’ I muttered, but … oh, oh man, there was an unfamiliar stirring in my chest.

‘Knew you’d see it that way.’ Cam tweaked the tip of my nose, and I swatted his hand away. ‘Don’t worry. I know the truth.’

‘The truth about what?’

Cam stepped back. ‘You want to say yes, but you’re just not ready.’

My jaw dropped.

‘It’s okay.’ His grin turned cocky. ‘I’m a lot to handle, but I can assure you, you’ll have fun handling me.’

Then before I could muster up a response worthy of that statement, he tapped my nose once more and then shut the door in my face.

Back in my apartment, I dropped my bag on the couch and collapsed next to it. Go out on a date with Cameron? Was he insane? He had to be joking or just flirting. On the ride home, he hadn’t mentioned it again; instead he spent the time drilling me about my schedule. Question by question, he dragged out every detail about the classes I was taking. By the time we got back to the building, I was exhausted.

Leaning my head back against the cushion, I closed my eyes. My heart was beating pretty fast for just sitting down. Was he being serious about not hooking up with Stephanie on Wednesday? Seemed odd to me that he hadn’t if she really had been all over him.

Honestly, it didn’t matter.

I couldn’t do a relationship of any sort. Maybe one day. Hopefully one day, because I didn’t want to be like this for the rest of my life. Eventually I wanted to be the girl who got excited about being asked out on a date instead of the girl who came home and did this.

Opening my eyes, I groaned. ‘I’m Señor Fucktard. Or Señorita Fucktard.’

I pushed to my feet and started halfway to the bedroom before I remembered my vibrating bag. ‘Shit.’

Hurrying back to the couch, I reached into the side pocket and pulled out my cell. I tapped the screen, fully expecting to see a text from Jacob or Brittany pop up. Instead I saw a missed call and a voice-mail message.

‘What the hell?’

I ran my fingers along the side and figured out I’d knocked the damn thing to silent. Sliding my figure along the screen, I unlocked it and saw that the call was from an UNKNOWN CALLER.

My heart skipped a beat.

No big deal. Probably a wrong call or a telemarketer. I went to the voice-mail screen, and my finger hovered over the delete button. The past raised its ugly, bitter head. How many times had I gotten prank calls from people blocking their numbers? Too many to count, but that couldn’t be it. My number was new, like my e-mail …

I cursed again.

Taking a deep breath, I hit the message icon and raised the phone to my ear. There was a pause and then a gravelly, indistinguishable voice crackled through the phone. ‘You know what happens to liars and skanks? They get a big, fat—’

Crying out, I hit the delete button before I could hear anything more. I dropped the phone on the couch instead of tossing it against the wall and backed up like it was some kind of venomous creature perched on the cushions.

Any method of communication could become poisonous. Didn’t I already know that firsthand? A strangled laugh escaped me. Really, did they have nothing better to do? It had been five years. Five years! They couldn’t let go of the past.

Just like, deep down, I couldn’t.




Chapter 7 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


I jerked straight up in bed, confused and disoriented. It was damn near close to four A.M. when I’d finally fallen asleep and I had no idea what woke me. I twisted in bed, groaning when I saw that it was only eight in the morning.

On a Sunday.

Flopping onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling. Once I was awake, there was no hope of ever—

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I sat up again, frowning. Someone was banging on a door—my door. What the hell? Throwing off the covers, I swung my legs off the bed. My toe caught on the sheet and I nearly ate the carpet.

‘Holy crap.’

Cursing, I raced through the apartment before the entire building was woken up. I stretched up, peering through the peephole. All I could see was a mass of wavy dark hair. Cam?

Something had to be wrong. Maybe the building was on fire, because I couldn’t think of any other reason why he’d be banging on my door on a Sunday morning.

‘Is everything okay?’ I winced at the sound of my voice as I opened the door.

Cam spun around. A crooked smile appeared, taking his already extraordinary face and making it boyishly sexy. ‘No, but it will be in about fifteen minutes.’

‘W-w-what?’ I stepped—or was forced—aside as he entered my apartment, carrying something wrapped in tinfoil: a carton of eggs—huh?—and a tiny frying pan. ‘Cam, what are you doing? It’s eight in the morning.’

‘Thanks for the update on the time.’ He headed straight for my kitchen. ‘It’s one thing I’ve never been able to master: the telling of time.’

I frowned as I padded after him. ‘Why are you here?’

‘Making breakfast.’

‘You can’t do that in your own kitchen?’ I ask, scrubbing at my eyes. After the astronomy assignment and the phone call, he was the last person I wanted to see at a buttcrack time in the morning.

‘My kitchen isn’t as exciting as yours.’ He put his stuff on the counter and faced me. His hair was damp and curlier than normal. How was it possible for him to look so good when it was obvious he’d just rolled out of bed and showered? There wasn’t even a dusting of morning scruff on his smooth cheeks. And he made sweats and a plain old T-shirt look damn good. ‘And Ollie is passed out on the living room floor.’

‘On the floor?’

‘Yep. Facedown, snoring and drooling a little. It’s not an appetizing atmosphere.’

‘Well, neither is my apartment.’ He needed to go. He had no business being here.

Cam leaned against my counter, folding his arms. ‘Oh, I don’t know about that …’ His gaze moved from the top of my disheveled head and all the way down to the tips of my curled toes. It was like a physical touch, causing my breath to catch. ‘Your kitchen, right this second, is very appetizing.’

A flush crawled across my cheeks. ‘I’m not going out with you, Cam.’

‘I didn’t ask you at this moment, now did I?’ One side of his lips curved up. ‘But you will eventually.’

My eyes narrowed. ‘You’re delusional.’

‘I’m determined.’

‘More like annoying.’

‘Most would say amazing.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Only in your head.’

‘In many heads is what you meant,’ he replied, turning back to my stove. ‘I also brought banana nut bread baked in my very own oven.’

Shaking my head, I glared at his back. ‘I’m allergic to bananas.’

Cam spun around, brows raised in disbelief. ‘Are you shitting me?’

‘No. I’m not. I’m allergic to bananas.’

‘Man, that’s a damn shame. You have no idea what you’re missing out on. Bananas make the world a better place.’

‘I wouldn’t know.’

He cocked his head to the side. ‘Anything else you’re allergic to?’

‘Besides penicillin and guys who bust into my apartment? No.’

‘Hardy-har-har,’ he replied, bending down as he started opening cabinets. ‘How many weaker, less assured guys have you slayed with that tongue of yours?’

‘Apparently not enough,’ I muttered. I went to adjust my bracelet and realized I wasn’t wearing it. My heart dropped. ‘I’ll be right back.’

Humming to himself, Cam nodded. I darted back to my bedroom and grabbed the bracelet off the nightstand and slipped it on. A shudder of relief went through me. Halfway out of the bedroom, I glanced down and cursed again.

No bra.

The thin material of my shirt stretched taut across my chest and my nipples were poking out, saying hello. ‘Oh, Jesus.’

Tossing the shirt off, I grabbed a sports bra out of my dresser.

‘Hey! Are you hiding back there?’ yelled Cam. ‘Because I will come back there and drag you out.’

Sports bra stuck around my head and breasts bouncing everywhere, I blanched. I yanked it down, smushing my right boob. Ow! ‘Don’t you dare come in here!’

‘Then hurry up. My eggs wait for no one.’

‘Oh my God,’ I muttered, pulling my shirt back on. I made it to the hallway before I then realized I also hadn’t brushed my teeth. Cam and his eggs were going to have to wait.

When I returned to the kitchen, he had several eggs boiling in water, and a perfect sunny-side-up egg in the little frying pan he’d brought. He’d found the bag of shredded cheese in my fridge and was sprinkling it across the eggs.

Seeing him in my kitchen, at my stove, unnerved me. Knots formed low in my belly as he easily found the plates and silverware. I crossed my arms, shuffling from side to side. ‘Cam, why are you over here?’

‘I already told you.’ He slid the eggs onto a plate and then walked them over to the bistro set butted up to the wall. ‘Do you want toast? Wait. Do you have bread? If not, I can—’

‘No. I don’t need toast.’ He’d taken complete control of my kitchen! ‘Don’t you have anyone else to bother?’

‘There are a shit ton of people that I could reward with my presence, but I chose you.’

This had to be the most bizarre morning ever. I watched him a moment longer. Giving up on getting him out of my apartment, I sat in the high-rise chair, tucking my legs against my chest. I picked up a fork. ‘Thanks.’

‘I choose to believe that you mean that.’

‘I do!’

He flashed a quick grin. ‘I doubt that for some reason.’

Now I felt like a total bitch. ‘I do appreciate the eggs. I’m just surprised to see you here … at eight in the morning.’

‘Well, to be honest, I was planning to woo you with my banana nut bread, but that shit ain’t happening now. So all I have left is my delicious eggs.’

I took a bite of the cheesy goodness. ‘It is really good, but you’re not wooing me.’

‘Oh, I’m wooing.’ He opened up the fridge and grabbed a bottle of OJ. Pouring two glasses, he sat one in front of me. ‘It’s just all about the stealth. You don’t realize it yet.’

Dropping that no-win conversation, I moved on. ‘Aren’t you eating?’

‘I am. I like boiled eggs.’ Cam gestured to the stove as he sat in the chair opposite of mine. He propped his chin on his fist, and I focused on my plate. The bastard looked too adorable and cute. ‘So, Avery Morgansten, I’m all yours.’

I almost choked on the piece of egg. ‘I don’t want you.’

‘Too bad,’ he replied, grinning. ‘Tell me about yourself.’

Oh hell to the no, the bonding shit wasn’t happening. ‘Do you do this often? Just walk into random girls’ apartments and make eggs?’

‘Well, you’re not random, so technically no.’ He got up and checked the eggs boiling. ‘And I might be known to surprise lucky ladies every now and then.’

‘Seriously? I mean, you do this normally?’

Cam glanced over his shoulder at me. ‘With friends, yes, and we’re friends, aren’t we, Avery?’

My mouth opened. Were we friends? I guessed so, but still. Was this normal? Or was Cam just that confident? He did things like this because he knew he could, knew that no one would really make him leave. Most people probably wouldn’t want him to leave. And I could’ve made him get the hell out if I’d really wanted to, and that was the truth. Cam was the kind of guy who was probably used to getting what he wanted.

Just like Blaine.

That thought turned the eggs in my stomach, and I placed my fork down. ‘Yeah, we’re friends.’

‘Finally!’ he shouted, making me jump a little. ‘You’ve finally admitted that we are friends. It’s only taken a week.’

‘We’ve only known each other for a week.’

‘Still took a week,’ he replied, poking at the eggs in the water.

I pushed the last remaining chunk of eggs around my plate. ‘What? Does it normally take you just an hour to have someone declaring best friends forever?’

‘No.’ He pulled out the eggs, dropping them in a bowl. Coming to the table, he sat again. His eyes met mine, and it was hard to maintain that stare. Those eyes really were a beautiful shade of azure, sharp and clear. The kind of eyes you could easily get lost staring into. ‘It usually takes me about five minutes before we’ve moved on to best friend status.’

A smile snuck out as I shook my head. ‘Then I guess I’m just the odd one.’

‘Maybe.’ His lashes lowered as he started peeling his boiled egg.

I took a drink. ‘I guess it’s different for you.’

‘Hmm?’

‘I bet you have girls hanging all over you. Dozens would probably kill to be in my spot and here I am, allergic to your bread.’

He looked up. ‘Why? Because of my near godlike perfection?’

A laugh burst from me. ‘I wouldn’t go that far.’

Cam chuckled and then shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Don’t really think about it.’

‘You don’t think about it at all?’

‘Nope.’ He popped a whole freaking egg into his mouth. Besides that, he had impeccable table manners. Chewing with his mouth closed, wiping his hands on the napkin he’d pulled from the holder, and not talking with his mouth full. ‘I only think about it when it matters.’

Our gazes collided, and my cheeks flushed. I ran my finger along the rim of my glass. ‘So you’re a reformed player?’

He paused, egg halfway to his mouth. ‘What makes you think that?’

‘I heard you were quite the player in high school.’

‘Really? Who did you hear that from?’

‘None of your business.’

A brow arched. ‘With that mouth of yours, you don’t have a lot of friends, do you?’

I flinched, because that was a spot-on observation. ‘No,’ I heard myself saying. ‘I wasn’t really popular in high school.’

Cam dropped his egg on the plate and sat back. ‘Shit. I’m sorry. That was an asshole thing for me to say.’

I waved it off, but it stung.

He watched me through thick lashes. ‘Hard to believe, though, that you weren’t. You can be funny and nice when you’re not insulting me, and you’re a pretty girl. Actually, you’re really hot.’

‘Uh … thanks.’ I squirmed, holding my glass close.

‘I’m serious. You said your parents were strict. They didn’t let you hang out in high school?’ When I nodded, he finished off the egg he’d dropped. ‘I still can’t imagine you not being popular in high school. You rock the trifecta—smart, funny, and hot.’

‘I wasn’t. Okay?’ I set my glass down and moved on to tugging at a loose string on the hem of my shorts. ‘I was, like, the very opposite of popular.’

Cam started peeling another egg. I wondered how many he’d eat. ‘I am sorry, Avery. That … that sucks. High school is a big deal.’

‘Yeah, it is.’ I wetted my lips nervously. ‘You had a lot of friends?’

He nodded.

‘Still talk to them?’

‘Some of them. Ollie and I went to high school together, but he spent his first two years at WVU and transferred down here, and I see a few around campus and back home.’

Wrapping my arms around my legs to keep from fidgeting, I rested my chin on my knees. ‘Have any brothers or sisters?’

‘A sister,’ he replied, picking up the last egg—the fourth one. A genuine smile appeared. ‘She’s younger than me. Just turned eighteen. She graduates this year.’

‘You guys close?’ I couldn’t imagine having a brother like Cam.

‘Yeah, we’re close.’ A dark look crossed his face and vanished quickly, but it left me wondering if they really were that close. ‘She means a lot to me. How about you? A big brother I have to worry about visiting and kicking my ass for being here?’

‘No. I’m an only child. Have a cousin who’s older, but I doubt he’d do that.’

‘Ah, good.’ Devouring that egg, he sat back and patted his stomach. ‘Where you from?’

I pressed my lips together, trying to decide if I should lie or not.

‘Okay.’ He dropped his arm off the back of the metal chair. ‘You obviously know where I’m from if you’ve heard of my extracurricular activities in high school, but I’ll just confirm it. I’m from the Fort Hill area. Never heard of that? Well, most people haven’t. It’s near Morgantown. Why didn’t I go to WVU? Everyone wants to know that.’ He shrugged. ‘Just wanted to get away, but be somewhat close to my family. And, yes, I was … very busy in high school.’

‘You’re not anymore?’ I asked, not really expecting him to answer, because it wasn’t my business, but, hey, if I could keep him talking, I didn’t have to say anything.

And I was … interested in learning more, because Cam, he was fascinating in a way. He was like every überpopular, sexy guy in high school, but he wasn’t a dick. That alone made him worthy of a scientific study. Also, it was better than sitting around alone and thinking about harassing phone calls and e-mails.

‘Depends on who you ask.’ He laughed then. ‘Yeah, I don’t know. When I was a freshman—those first couple of months, being around all the older girls? I probably put more effort into them than I did my classes.’

I grinned, easily able to picture that. ‘But not now?’

He shook his head. ‘So where are you from?’

Okay. Obviously what changed his ex-player status was something he didn’t want to talk about. Visions of pregnancy scares danced in my head. ‘I’m from Texas.’

‘Texas?’ He leaned forward. ‘Really? You don’t have an accent.’

‘I wasn’t born in Texas. My family was originally from Ohio. We moved to Texas when I was eleven and I never picked up any accent.’

‘Texas to West Virginia? That’s a hell of a difference.’

Unfolding my legs, I stood and picked up my plate and his bowl. ‘Well, I lived in the strip mall hell part of Texas, but besides that, it’s kind of the same here.’

‘I should clean up.’ He started to stand. ‘I made the mess.’

‘No.’ I backed away with his bowl. ‘You cooked. I clean.’

He relented, opening the foiled bread. It did smell wonderful. ‘What made you choose here?’

I washed the dishes and his little frying pan before answering that doozy. ‘I just wanted to get away, like you.’

‘Got to be hard, though.’

‘No.’ I picked up the pot he used to boil the eggs. ‘It was incredibly easy to make the decision.’

He seemed to consider that as he broke the bread in half. ‘You are an enigma, Avery Morgansten.’

I leaned against the counter, my eyes widening as he proceeded to eat half the loaf. ‘Not really. More like you are.’

‘How so?’

I gestured at him. ‘You just ate four hard-boiled eggs, you’re eating half a loaf of bread, and you have abs that look like they belong on a Bowflex ad.’

Cam looked absolutely thrilled to hear that. ‘You’ve been checking me out, haven’t you? In between your flaming insults? I feel like man candy.’

I laughed. ‘Shut up.’

‘I’m a growing boy.’

My brows rose, and Cam laughed. As he finished off the loaf, he talked a little about his parents. I made my way back to the table and sat, genuinely interested. His father ran his own law firm, and his mother was a doctor. That meant Cam came from money, not the kind that my parents rolled around in, but enough that it most likely paid his rent. He was obviously close with them too, and I envied that. Growing up, all I wanted was for my parents to want to be around me, but with the benefits, the jet setting, and all the dinners, they’d never been home. And after everything that had happened, the few instances they were there, neither of them could even look at me.

‘So you flying back to Texas for fall break or Thanksgiving?’ he asked.

I snorted. ‘Probably not.’

He cocked his head to the side. ‘Got other plans?’

I shrugged.

Cam dropped the subject, and it was close to noon by the time he left. Stopping at my front door, he turned to me, flipping the tiny skillet in one hand, banana nut bread in the other. ‘So, Avery …’

I popped my hip against the back of the couch. ‘So, Cam …’

‘Whatcha doing Tuesday night?’

‘I don’t know.’ My brows lowered. ‘Why?’

‘How about you go out with me?’

‘Cam.’ I sighed.

He leaned against the jam. ‘That’s not a no.’

‘No.’

‘Well, that’s a no.’

‘Yes, it is.’ I pushed off the couch and grabbed the door. ‘Thanks for the eggs.’

Cam backed up, lopsided grin in place. ‘How about Wednesday night?’

‘Good-bye, Cam.’ I closed the door, grinning. He was completely insufferable, but like the night before, being around him did something sort of miraculous. Maybe it was the verbal dueling, but whatever it was, I tended to act … normal. Like I used to.

Heh.

After showering, I puttered around the apartment and debated texting Jacob or Brittany to see what they were up to. Eventually, I tossed my cell on the couch and dragged my laptop out. I couldn’t avoid my e-mail forever.

In my junk folder, there were a few suspicious-looking e-mails. Two with my name as the subject. After receiving the last e-mail, I had learned my lesson, and I clicked delete with a certain amount of glee.

The e-mails, though—it was strange to get them now. While I’d been in high school, it had been one thing. I’d been surrounded by the kids, but now, after we’d all left for college? Something just wasn’t right about that. Like, did they seriously have nothing better to do? I doubted it could be Blaine, because as twisted as he was, he stayed far away from me. And the phone call? I refused to change my number. Back during the worst of it, when I’d get three to four phone calls a day, I’d gone through a series of telephone changes and they always found out the new ones anyway.

Shaking my head, I clicked on my in-box and found another e-mail from my cousin. Seriously? I was half tempted to not click on it, but I opened the stupid thing.

Avery,

I really need to talk to you ASAP. Call me whenever. It’s very important. Call me.

David

My finger hovered on the mouse pad.

Delete.




Chapter 8 (#u686c50ba-6ae7-5fe7-9ea1-07e1f898d73d)


Over the next couple of weeks and as summer finally loosened its grip, a sort of odd routine started to occur. Monday through Friday, I got up and went to class. With each passing day, I started to look forward to astronomy. Not so much because I never knew what Professor Drage was going to say or what he would wear. A few days ago, he’d been rocking a pair of acid-wash jeans and a tie-dyed shirt. I think I focused on that more than anything else. But crazy-pants professor aside, it was a certain class partner who made the fifty minutes pretty damn entertaining.

Between Cam’s side comments during Drage’s lecture and his surprisingly accurate knowledge of solar systems, running away from astronomy on the first day had really ended up paying off in the long run. With Cam as my partner and seatmate, there was no way I would fail the class.

I spent lunch three days a week with Jacob and Brittany and even went to one of the football games with them. Parties were still a no go, something that neither could really understand, but they didn’t abandon me. Twice a week, they hung out at my place. Not a lot of studying got done, but I wasn’t complaining. I liked it when they came over. Okay, ‘like’ wasn’t a strong enough word. They were great, and it had been way too long since I had friends like them who didn’t seem to care when I acted like a spaz, which was quite a bit.

At least twice a week, I turned Cam down.

Twice. A. Week.

It got to the point where I sort of looked forward to how he was going to slide it into conversation. The boy was relentless, but it was more of a running joke between us than anything else. At least in my opinion.

I also started to look forward to Sundays.

Each Sunday morning since the very first, Cam showed up at my door at some ungodly hour with eggs and something he’d baked. The second Sunday, it was blueberry muffins. The third Sunday it was pumpkin bread—from a box, he’d admitted. The four and the fifth Sunday, it was strawberry cake and then brownies.

Brownies in the morning were the shit.

Things were really … good with the exception of e-mail and phone. At least once a week, I’d get a call from an UNKNOWN CALLER. I deleted the messages and the e-mails without opening them. There were at least fifteen unread e-mails from my cousin. One of these days I was going to read them, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that or call my parents.

They hadn’t called me, so I didn’t see the point.

By the beginning of October, I was happier than I’d been in so long. The scent of autumn, something I’d missed while living in Texas, was in the air; I could wear long sleeves without looking like a freak; and cramming for midterms during lunch included M&Ms and Skittles.

‘Can someone please tell me where Croatia is on this map?’ Jacob groaned. ‘Like, is there a song I can come up with that will somehow remind me of this?’

‘Hungary, Slovenia, Bosnia,’ I said, pointing at the blank map of Europe. ‘And then there is Serbia.’

Jacob glared at me. ‘Fucking overachieving bitch.’

I popped a red Skittle in my mouth. ‘Sorry.’

‘Can you imagine a song with those names?’ Brit dipped her fries in mayo.

‘That is so gross,’ Jacob muttered.

She shrugged. ‘It’s yummy.’

‘Actually, I’m going to nerd out on you, so prepare.’ I picked up an M&M and held it in front of Jacob. His eyes widened, like he was a puppy about to get a treat. ‘With the exception of Hungary, all the countries next to Croatia end with an a. They all sound alike. Think of it that way.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘That didn’t help.’

I sighed. ‘You want a song?’

‘Yes.’ He stood up at our table, in the middle of the Ram’s Den, and shouted. ‘Yes! I want a song!’

‘Wow.’

He raised his hands as several students turned in their seats. ‘What? What?’ He turned back to me. ‘Was that a little too much?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Most def.’

Brit put her forehead on her textbook. ‘Seriously,’ she groaned. ‘I can’t believe he’s making us map Europe on our midterm. I thought I’d left that shit behind in high school.’

‘Give me a song, nerd,’ Jacob demanded.

‘Oh, my God, you’re ridiculous.’ Shaking my head, I placed my hands on the table. ‘Okay. Here you go. Hungary to the upper left, upper left, Serbia to the lower left, lower left. Bosnia on the bottom, on the bottom. Slovenia to the top, to the top. And where’s Croatia?’

‘Where? Where?’ Jacob sang.

‘It’s next to the Adriatic Sea, across from Italy!’

Jacob popped up straight. ‘Again! Again!’

I went through the song twice more while Brit gaped at the both of us. By the time Jacob whipped out his pen and started scribbling countries across the map, my face was the shade of a tomato, but I was giggling like a hyena.

And he got the map right, with the exception of putting France where the United Kingdom was supposed to be, but I think he was just testing me on that one, because seriously.

I tossed an M&M at his mouth. It bounced off his lower lip. On the replay, I got the M&M in his mouth. He swallowed and shot forward, lowering his face next to mine. ‘Guess what?’

‘What?’ I leaned back.

He blinked two times. ‘Here comes your boyfriend.’

Looking over my shoulder, I spotted Cam entering the Den with not one girl but a girl on either side of him, both gazing up at him like he was the last eligible hot guy on campus. I rolled my eyes at Jacob. ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’

‘Gurl, you got competition.’ Jacob folded his arms on the table. ‘That’s Sally and Susan—beta, delta, boogie-sigma-chi-latte VPs.’

Brit’s brows lowered. ‘That’s not even close to a sorority name.’

‘Whatever.’

‘It’s not a competition, because it’s not like that between us.’ Slowly, surely, I looked over my shoulder. The trio had stopped by the couches. Cam was paying attention to whatever the two girls were saying to him. One of the girls, the blonde, had her hand on his chest and was moving it in tiny circles. My eyes narrowed. Was she giving him a breast exam? I turned back to Jacob.

He raised his brows.

‘They can have him,’ I said, throwing three Skittles in my mouth.

‘I don’t get you two,’ Brit said, closing her book. Study time was over. ‘You guys see each other practically every day, right?’

I nodded.

‘He comes over every Sunday and makes you breakfast, right?’ she added.

Jacob flipped me off. ‘I hate you for that.’

‘Yeah, he does, but it’s not like that.’ Thank God I’d never told them about him asking me out because I’d never hear the end of it then. ‘Look, we’re friends. That’s all.’

‘Are you gay?’ Jacob demanded.

‘What?’

‘Look, I’m the last person to judge your sexual preference. I mean, come on.’ He jerked his thumbs back at himself. ‘So are you gay?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘I’m not gay.’

‘I’m not either, but I’d go gay for you.’ Brit smiled.

‘Thanks.’ I giggled. ‘I’d go gay for you too.’

‘How cute,’ Jacob said. ‘Not the point. That fine motherfucking specimen of a man is all up in you—oh my God, he’s ditched the ra-ras and is coming over.’

My stomach knotted and I prayed to God, Shiva, and Zeus that Jacob didn’t say anything that would make me want to kill him later.

‘Damn,’ Jacob said, shaking his head. ‘He makes jeans look like they were molded to fit his—hey, Cameron! How’s it going?’

I closed my eyes.

‘Hey, Jacob. Brittany.’ Cam dropped into the seat beside me and nudged my arm. ‘Avery.’

‘Hey,’ I murmured, acutely aware of Jacob and Brittany staring at us. I closed my text and shoved it in my bag. ‘What are you up to?’

‘Oh, you know, mischief and mayhem,’ he replied.

‘That so reminds me of Harry Potter,’ Brit said, sighing. ‘I need a reread.’

We all turned to her.

Two bright spots appeared in her cheeks as she tossed her blond hair back. ‘What? I’m not ashamed to admit that random things remind me of Harry Potter.’

‘That guy over there reminds me of Snape,’ Cam said, jerking his chin to the table behind us. ‘So I understand.’

The guy with the jet-black hair did kind of look like Snape.

‘Anyway, what are you guys doing?’ Cam shifted and his leg rested against mine. I swallowed. ‘Playing with M&Ms and Skittles?’

‘Yes, that, and we’re studying for our history midterm next week. We have to map out Europe,’ Jacob explained.

‘Ouch.’ Cam knocked me with his leg.

I knocked his leg back.

‘But Avery, wonderful Avery …’ Jacob glanced at me, his grin spreading, and my eyes were narrowing. ‘She’s been helping us study.’

‘That she has,’ Brit said.

Cam sent me a sidelong glance, and I scooted away from him.

Popping his chin on his hand, Jacob smiled at Cam. ‘Before we started studying, I was telling Avery that she should wear the color green more often. It makes her sexy with that hair of hers.’

My mouth dropped open. He had so not even said that about the stupid cardigan I was wearing.

‘Do you like the color green on her, Cam?’ Brit asked.

Oh my God.

Cam turned to me, his blue eyes as deep as the waters off the coast of Texas. ‘The color looks great on her, but she looks beautiful every day.’

Heat crept across my cheeks as I let out a low breath.

‘Beautiful?’ Brit repeated.

‘Beautiful,’ Cam repeated, reclaiming what little distance I’d managed to put between us. He nudged my knee again. ‘So did you guys learn anything from studying?’

I let out the breath. ‘I think we got it.’

‘Because of you.’ Jacob glanced at Brit, and my stomach dropped. ‘Avery came up with this song to help me remember where the countries were.’

Oh no.

‘Sing him your song.’ Brit elbowed me so hard that I bounced off Cam and ricocheted back.

Interest sparked in Cam’s eyes. ‘What song?’

‘I am not singing that song again.’

Jacob beamed up at Cam. ‘It’s the Croatia song.’

I shot him a death glare.




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