The Baby Emergency
The Baby Emergency
CAROL MARINELLI
The doctor and the single momWhen Shelly Weaver returns to the children's ward for her first night shift as a single mom, she discovers it's also Dr. Ross Bodey's first night back. He's been working in the Outback, but on discovering Shelly's newly single status he's returned—for her!Shelly didn't know Ross was in love with her—until now. And suddenly Ross is asking her to change her life forever. But Shelly has her son to consider, although he is falling in love with Ross as quickly as Shelly is…
“It wouldn’t work,” Shelly insisted in an irritated voice
“I’d rather pay a childminder to look after Matthew. At least that way I’d know they were doing things properly.”
“Properly!” Ross repeated her last word through pursed lips.
“Yes, properly, Ross,” Shelly snapped, her words coming out much too harsh. But suddenly Ross was getting too near for comfort, making promises he would surely never, ever keep, and perhaps more to the point Shelly was terrified of letting him into her life. Terrified that one look at the real Shelly—the mom, the housewife, the eternal juggling game that her life was at the moment—would have Ross scuttling away in two seconds flat.
But Ross wasn’t ready to even consider taking no for an option!
Dear Reader (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab),
Tall, blond, drop-dead gorgeous and kind, as well. I fell in love with Doctor Ross Bodey the second he popped into my head—quite simply he was everything a girl could wish for.
And that was the problem for my fabulous heroine Shelly—she isn’t a girl, she’s a woman. A woman who’s a touch older and a touch more jaded with the world than Ross. A woman who’s not just looking out for her own bruised heart, but that of her special-needs son.
I loved following their journey, sitting up well into the small hours, glued to my laptop, peeling back the layers and finding the real man behind the perfect smile. For Shelly and I, Ross Bodey was worth it—I hope he is for you, too.
Happy reading,
Carol Marinelli
The Baby Emergency
Carol Marinelli
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
Cover (#ua6accfd2-b9d1-5a13-94f6-5f3015d61678)
Introduction (#u4561e4fd-7b23-5367-b444-a571c23426e7)
Dear Reader (#u8cb518e6-5965-5a20-aef3-7dfc5aa50acc)
Title Page (#ud210086b-94c1-502a-9b77-c996150d411f)
PROLOGUE (#u0dc51738-e907-5710-b4c8-0312c7bfdf54)
CHAPTER ONE (#u7066dba8-eca6-578d-9028-ae676cf45f5c)
CHAPTER TWO (#u2296b6a1-6d4d-566d-9ad2-9f69f474e518)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
PROLOGUE (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab)
THERE were two very good reasons Shelly didn’t want to be there.
For one thing, the barrage of sympathetic stares and awkward greetings that were sure to greet her she could certainly do without.
And as to the other…
Darting into the changing room, she rather unceremoniously dumped the mud cake she had bought on the bench, before checking her reflection in the full-length mirror.
The pregnancy books had been right about one thing at least—the mid-trimester glow they had promised as a reward for the constant nausea and mood swings had finally appeared.
Glowing was the only word that would describe her.
Even Shelly, with her eternally self-critical eye, acknowledged that for once in her thirty years her skin was smooth and clear with not a blemish in sight. Even her long auburn curls seemed to be behaving for the first time in memory, falling in heavy silky tendrils instead of their usual chaotic frizz, and her vivid green eyes were definitely sparkling.
Funny she should look so good when everything around her was falling apart.
Closing her eyes, Shelly took a deep cleansing breath, trying to settle the flurry of butterflies dancing in her stomach. Even the baby seemed to sense her nervousness, wriggling and kicking, little feet or hands making certain they were felt.
‘It’s OK, baby.’ Shelly put a protective hand to her stomach and spoke softly, hoping her falsely calm voice might somehow soothe the child within. ‘We’re going to face this together.’
Touching up her lipstick, Shelly fiddled with her top for a moment, the flimsy powder-blue top softening the ripe bulge of her stomach. She even indulged for a tiny moment the still surprising sight of a cleavage on her increasingly unfamiliar body.
This should be such a happy time. The words buzzed around in her head. How she wanted it to be happy, how she wanted to enjoy the changes that were overwhelming her, to be afforded again the luxury of revelling in what had been a very much planned and wanted baby.
Still wanted.
A fresh batch of tears was adding to the sparkle in her eyes and, blowing her nose loudly, Shelly practised a forced smile in the mirror and picked up the cake. Looking down at her bump, her free hand went back for a final comforting stroke of the baby within. ‘Come on, little one, let’s get this over with.’
‘Shelly!’ Her name seemed to be coming at her from all directions as her colleagues welcomed her warmly, welcoming her straight into the click of things, but despite the smiles and casual chit-chat, not one of them managed to look her in the eye.
Not one of them asked how her pregnancy was progressing.
Except Melissa.
The playroom on the children’s ward was for once void of patients and anxious parents, filled instead with staff, some in uniform, some like Shelly in regular clothes, all clutching cups and paper plates, all there to say goodbye to a certain doctor who in his six-month rotation had brought more vitality and energy to the ward than most did in their whole careers.
Like a radar homing in, Shelly made her way over to her staunchly loyal colleague, grateful in advance for the quiet support Melissa in her own unique way would impart. ‘Quite a spread,’ Shelly said, handing Melissa her cake. ‘Anyone would think it was one of the consultants leaving, not a temporary intern.’
‘I know,’ Melissa sighed. ‘Ross can’t believe it himself. I think he expected a cake and a couple of bottles of warm cola, but just look at the turn-out! People like Ross don’t come along everyday, though. We’re all going to miss him.’
And there was Shelly’s second reason.
She didn’t want to say goodbye.
Again.
Didn’t want Ross Bodey, who’d breezed into her life at various intervals over the years, to breeze out again. Didn’t want the smile that had brightened her day, the funny chats and sometimes serious insights to end.
It wasn’t as if she was alone. Not one person in this room wanted him to go. Ross in his own easygoing, light-hearted way had turned the ward around. Even Tania, the rigid unit manager, had somehow loosened up under his good-natured teasing. Everyone here today was going to miss him.
Especially Shelly.
Over the years they’d grown close.
Very close.
Oh, nothing to be ashamed about. They’d been friends for ages. Shelly had met him first when she’d been doing her midwifery training and Ross had been but a lowly second-year medical student.
The occasional coffee in the canteen had been a welcome interlude, listening as Ross had planned his travels, determined to fit the most into his summer semester break, happy too to let Shelly chatter on as she’d planned her engagement party.
Friends, nothing else.
The five-year age gap between them seemingly unfillable. Ross ready to party, Shelly ready to settle down.
Even when Ross had breezed back this time, ready to resume their friendship, Shelly hadn’t had a qualm of guilt. There was nothing in their friendship that threatened her marriage. There was a bond between them, that was all: something special that gelled them. They didn’t keep in touch or anything, their friendship only extended to the workplace, but it was their unique bond that made Ross call for her when he needed a hand, that made Shelly ring him first if there was a sick child she wanted seen. OK, maybe she did check the doctors’ roster with more than a faint interest these days, and maybe she had put up her hand for a couple of extra shifts when Ross had been on, but there was no harm in that, there was nothing wrong in a man and woman being friends.
Ross was twenty-five years old, for goodness’ sake, into nightclubs and trendy clothes. A world away from Shelly’s contented suburban existence: happily married, excitingly anticipating the birth of her first child.
Till now.
‘Fancy coming out for a drink at the weekend?’ Melissa’s invitation was casual enough but it was loaded with caring and Shelly bit back the sting of tears.
‘I might just take you up on that.’
Dear Melissa. For all Shelly’s friends, for all the colleagues who had squealed with delight when they had found out she was pregnant, who had beguiled her with horror stories of their own pregnancies and labour, Melissa, fifty, single and childless, had been the only one to call her up again and again when she had been permanently greeted by the answering-machine. The only one who had ignored Shelly’s frosty response and had pressed on regardless.
When friends were being doled out, Melissa had been a treasured find.
‘Shelly!’
Finally a pair of eyes were actually managing to look at her.
Very blue eyes, almost navy in fact; the dark lashes that framed them a contrast to the blond hair flopping perfectly and no doubt intentionally onto his good-looking face.
‘Hi, Ross.’ The forced smile was still in place and Shelly widened it an inch. ‘Given that it’s your last day, are you going to finally admit that you do dye your hair?’
‘Never.’ Ross grinned. ‘How would I find the time for all that palaver with roots and regrowth? You’re just going to have to accept that I’m naturally good-looking, isn’t that right, Melissa?’
‘No comment.’ Melissa shrugged good-naturedly then she let out a deep throaty laugh. ‘Who am I trying to kid? You’re stunning, Dr Bodey, you know it and so does everyone else. Just don’t let it get to your head.’
Waddling off, she left an open-mouthed Shelly gaping in her wake. ‘I do believe Melissa was flirting.’
‘Terrifying, wasn’t it?’ Ross winked.
The smile she had been forcing was coming more naturally now and Shelly took the plastic cup he’d brought over for her and took a quick sip of some very questionable cola.
‘Thanks for coming, by the way. I know you’re on days off.’
‘As if I wouldn’t have said goodbye. What are you doing tonight, having a big family send-off?’
‘Hardly.’ He gave a quick shrug and for the tiniest instant Shelly could have sworn she registered the beginning of a frown, but it soon faded, the nonchalant smile she was so used to soon back in place. ‘They’re used to me wandering off by now. It’ll just be a case of too many beers with a few choice friends. Come if you want.’
In Shelly’s present mood, Ross’s invitation didn’t even merit a response and Shelly didn’t bother to try.
‘Come on,’ Ross pushed. ‘I’ll even shout you a cola, with ice,’ he added, grimacing as he took another sip.
‘It’s better I don’t, I’m not exactly in the mood for a party. Anyway, we’re going to the tennis tonight.’
‘You lucky thing,’ Ross exclaimed. ‘It’s the quarterfinals too. I’ve been trying to get tickets all week—how did you manage to swing that?’
‘I didn’t,’ Shelly sighed. ‘We’re going with Neil’s work, another boring night making small-talk. Still, at least I can distract myself looking at the players. Who knows? Maybe one of them will see me sitting there in the stands and fall head over heels then whisk me away from all this.’ She caught his quick grin. ‘I’m allowed to fantasise, aren’t I?’
‘Of course,’ Ross said, that quick grin splitting his face now. ‘But given that it’s the women’s quarterfinals tonight, Shelly, that particular fantasy of yours is doing terrible things to my blood pressure!’
‘Ross!’ Shelly exclaimed, the first laugh she had expended in days spilling out of her lips as she blushed a rather unbecoming shade of claret and quickly changed the subject. ‘So, are you all packed?’
‘No.’ He shrugged as Shelly’s eyes widened.
‘But you’re going tomorrow.’
‘So? I’ll pack in the morning. I don’t think I’ll need much in the middle of the outback, a few shorts and T-shirts, a pair of boots. No doubt you’d have had checklists as long as your arm, trying to cram everything into ten suitcases.’
‘Probably,’ Shelly admitted with a begrudging smile. ‘I just like to be—’
‘Prepared,’ Ross finished with a laugh. ‘Super Nurse Shelly Weaver, prepared for any eventuality.’
‘Not quite.’ The smile was fading now and Shelly took a sip of her drink, eternally grateful to Ross for bringing it over, glad for something to do with her hands.
‘Did you find out what the sex of the baby is, then? Or are you going to keep us all in suspense?’
‘Sorry?’ Shelly looked up, startled, sure she must have misheard him.
‘You said were going to find out what you were having when you had your scan. Come on, you can tell me. I’m leaving so it won’t get out.’ He was still smiling, his grin so broad and his face so innocent Shelly truly thought he couldn’t have heard the news.
‘I found out a bit more than the sex.’ Shelly took another long drink, wiping away her cola moustache with the back of her hand as Ross just stood there patiently waiting for her to explain. ‘The scan showed up some anomalies,’ Shelly continued, her voice faltering every now and then as she spoke. ‘And after further tests the upshot is that I’m going to have a Down’s syndrome baby, or a special needs child, or whatever the latest buzz word is for it at the moment.’ Her green eyes shot up to his and the tears that were always appallingly close these days sparkled as they brimmed, ready to splash onto her cheeks. The bitter note in her voice was so out of place in her normal sunny nature even Shelly looked shocked at the venom in her voice. ‘I’m surprised you hadn’t heard already. News normally spreads like wildfire around here.’
‘Melissa told me,’ Ross said simply. ‘I’m sorry for what you’re going through. How are you managing?’
‘Fine,’ Shelly said through gritted teeth. ‘It’s not as if I have any choice but to manage.’
‘And Neil?’ Ross probed, ignoring her obvious desire to end the conversation.
‘Not so fine.’ Suddenly her paper cup was coming under intense scrutiny as Shelly fiddled with it in her hands. ‘Neil likes to be in control, likes to have choices, a say in things. He’s having trouble taking in the fact that no amount of second opinions or dollar-waving is going to change the outcome of this pregnancy.’
‘But he’s supporting you?’
Shelly gave a very short, very brittle laugh. ‘Is that what you call it?’ As soon as the words were out Shelly wished she could somehow erase them. Moaning about Neil, no matter how merited, no matter what the circumstances, seemed wrong somehow, but Ross didn’t seem fazed by her outburst. Instead he pulled the shredded cup from her hand, his eyes never leaving her face.
‘I shouldn’t have said that,’ Shelly mumbled as Ross stood there patiently, waiting for her to elaborate.
‘Why not?’ Ross asked simply, when no explanation was given.
‘I just shouldn’t have said anything, that’s all.’ She was almost biting through her lip in an effort to keep the tears back, and had the exit door not been located on the other side of the room Shelly would have turned and left there and then. She hadn’t come here for this. A quick goodbye was all she’d intended, and now here she was on the verge of letting five days of tortured anxiety burst forth and blubbering like an idiot in front of everyone.
‘Oh, Shelly, I’m sorry.’ His voice was suddenly serious, the tone directly hitting the final straw of Shelly’s reserves. As one large tear rolled onto her cheek a strong arm pulled around her thickened waist as he gently led her out of the playroom and into a small annexe where they stood alone and for the first time in days Shelly felt free to let the emotions she had held in check so painfully finally flow as Ross’s gentle voice gently gave her permission to continue. ‘Talk to me, Shelly. I know I’m going, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. I know there’s nothing I can say, but I can listen.’
‘There’s nothing anyone can say. I’m sick of seeing the pity in people’s eyes, sick of everyone adding up how many weeks pregnant I am in their heads and wondering if it’s too late for me to have a termination. It’s my baby.’ Tears were streaming unchecked now. ‘It’s my baby and I don’t want to get rid of him. So he’s not going to perfect! It doesn’t mean I don’t want him. I should still be allowed to love him.’
‘It’s a boy, then?’
His words were so calm it stilled her, and as she looked up Shelly saw that he was smiling.
‘Congratulations.’
‘You mean that?’
‘Of course I do, Shelly. You’re going to have a beautiful little boy and you’re going to be a fabulous mum. Yes, he’s going to have some problems, need some extra care, but if ever there was a woman who could give a child that then it’s you. It might all seem a jumble now, but you’ll work it out.’
‘Do you really think so?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Ross said emphatically. ‘I know so. You and Neil will deal with this.’
‘What I said before, about Neil, I mean. I was just letting off a bit of steam. He’s upset, which is understandable. It’s hard for him too. All the dreams he had, we had, have just suddenly gone.’ She gave a small laugh, trying to lighten the loaded silence around them. ‘I think Neil had our baby pegged to be Prime Minister one day.’
‘What’s the population of Australia?’
Shelly had no idea where he was leading, no idea where he’d plucked that question from, but her mind whirred away from her problems for a millisecond as she struggled with her appalling general knowledge. ‘About twenty million, at least I think that’s what it is.’
‘The odds weren’t great, then.’
Shelly’s forehead creased as she tried to fathom where Ross was leading. ‘What on earth are you going on about?’
‘If you factor in the rising population, increased immigration, well, suffice it to say…’ His hand moved forward, gently reaching the soft swell of her stomach as Shelly stood smiling at his strange logic. ‘This baby was never going to be Prime Minster. But you can still have dreams for him, Shelly, still cherish his life.’ His hand was still there, she could feel the warmth spreading through her top. The baby was motionless, perhaps feeling the quiet confidence Ross so effortlessly imparted. If only over the awful past few days she had endured Neil could have said just one of the comforting words Ross had conveyed so easily,
‘You’d better get back.’ Her voice was strangely thick. All she wanted to do was lay her head on that chest, feel those strong arms around her, for just an ounce of his strength to somehow rub off on her. ‘And I’ve got to go.’
‘Not yet,’ Ross moaned. ‘I’ll get stuck with Tania. If you think Melissa was bad, just wait till you see how Tania’s behaving. I swear she’s wearing lipstick. I think she’s got a crush on me.’
‘She has.’ Shelly laughed. ‘So watch yourself.’ Pulling her bag over her shoulder, Shelly swallowed hard. ‘I really do have to go. I just popped in to say goodbye. I’ve got an appointment with Dr Forbes at two.’
‘I thought Dr Lim was your obstetrician.’
‘He is. This visit is for Neil. I know it’s not going to change anything, but he just wants another opinion.’
‘Come on, I’ll walk you out to your car and say hi to Neil. It would be nice for us both to put names to faces and maybe I can answer some of his questions. His mind must be working overtime.’
‘Neil’s at work.’ She saw a hint of a frown mar Ross’s near-perfect features and instantly jumped on the defensive. ‘He can’t take an afternoon off work every time I see a doctor, he’d never get anything done.’
‘Of course not.’
There was a tiny awkward moment as Shelly turned to go. What should she do, shake his hand? A casual wave as she got to the door? Ross answered the question before it had even formed in her mind. Pulling her towards him, he held her for a moment, her bump pressing against his toned abdomen, until he moved away just enough to place his hand on her swollen stomach. ‘Look after that mum of yours,’ Ross whispered to the babe beneath his hand. ‘She’s one in a million.’
A tiny kiss was aimed at her cheek but Shelly moved nervously, his lips grazing hers for less than a second, but it felt as if they were both moving in slow motion, every tiny movement magnified, the soft warmth of his mouth on hers as unexpected as it was welcome, and Shelley swallowed hard as he pulled away, biting back tears as he squeezed her shoulder in one final supportive gesture and then he was gone. Off to his party, off on his travels again, off to the outback to impart and absorb, a million miles away from Chisholm Hospital, from the beach and the world he’d become so much a part of in the six months he’d been back.
Her lips were burning from his briefest touch and Shelly shook her head as she walked, her speed increasing as she pushed the unwelcome stirrings from her mind.
Of course Ross Bodey was going to say the right thing, he was a doctor, for heaven’s sake! He’d just spent the last six months on a children’s ward, dealing with anxious parents and sick kids. Of course he knew how to handle her, that was his job. She was being unfair, comparing his reaction to Neil’s.
Neil was the one living it. Neil was the one whose life had changed for ever when they’d found out the news.
Still…
Starting her car, Shelly pulled off the handbrake and indicated to turn right, gliding into the afternoon traffic as she headed for her doctor’s appointment, for an afternoon of scans and blood tests, an afternoon of being prodded and poked in a futile attempt to obtain a different version. A little piece of news that might brighten Neil’s day. But no amounts of scans, no amount of technology or statistics were going to change the outcome. Their baby was handicapped, and no amount of wishing was going to change that fact.
But she could still have dreams for him.
Ross’s words washed over her, a soothing interlude in an awful day. And in the weeks and months that followed they comforted her with increasing regularity, a life raft to cling to in the turbulent times that followed.
She could still have dreams for her son.
CHAPTER ONE (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab)
‘SORRY, darling.’ Marlene put down her basket on the hall floor and haphazardly deposited a kiss on Shelly’s cheek. ‘The match went on for ever.’
Shelly gave her mother an easy smile to show there was no harm done. ‘I’ve got plenty of time before my shift starts. Is Dad still there?’
‘Of course,’ Marlene replied crisply, with a slight edge to her voice. ‘This twilight tennis competition is supposed to be a combined effort for the two of us to get fit, yet your father undoes all of the hard work in one fell swoop. He’s in the clubhouse guzzling beers and eating lamingtons as I speak. Goodness, Shelly,’ Marlene said, finally looking at her daughter properly for the first time since she’d arrived. ‘You look nice—very nice, in fact! What have you done to your hair?’
‘I just put a bit of mousse in it in when I washed it,’ Shelly answered vaguely as Marlene gave her a rather sceptical look.
‘I’ll have to try some. Where’s Matthew?’
‘Asleep.’ Shelly rolled her eyes. ‘At long last. But I think this new routine is finally starting to work. I gave him his bath at seven, read his blessed book five times and now he’s out like a light.’
‘Oh, really?’ Marlene’s face broke into a wide grin and she gestured behind Shelly. ‘So who’s this, then?’
‘Matthew,’ Shelly wailed. ‘You’re supposed to be asleep.’
Holding up his dog-eared book, Matthew’s podgy little face broke into a wide and very engaging smile, instantly dousing Shelly’s irritation. ‘Wun, wun,’ he begged.
‘No more run, run,’ Shelly corrected, smiling despite herself. ‘The little gingerbread man is fast asleep now and so should you be.’
‘Wun, wun.’ Matthew insisted, his grin widening as he saw Marlene. ‘Nanny.’
‘Yes, darling.’ Marlene scooped her grandson into her arms. ‘Nanny’s looking after you tonight while Mummy goes to work.’ Marlene pulled Matthew closer, whispering loudly in his ear so that Shelly could hear. ‘Or at least that’s where she says she’s going, but I’ve never seen Mummy looking quite so stunning for a shift on the children’s ward!’
‘Mum,’ Shelly moaned. ‘Don’t talk like that—you’ll confuse him.’
‘I’m just teasing,’ Marlene soothed, turning her attention back to Matthew. ‘Now, give Mummy a big kiss goodnight and we’ll wave goodbye to her, then how about we go and see if there’s any nice biscuits in the cupboard?’
‘Mum.’ Shelly’s voice had a warning note to it which Marlene dismissed with a wave of her hand.
‘The biscuits are for me, darling. Why should your father be the only one ruining his waistline? I’m going to have a nice cuppa then I’ll read Matthew his story. You go off to work. Don’t worry about us two, we’ll be fine.’
‘I know,’ Shelly admitted, giving Marlene a quick kiss before lingering a while longer with Matthew’s. ‘Love you, Matthew.’ He smelt of baby soap and lotion and as she kissed him gently Shelly wondered, not for the first time, how she could bear to go to work and leave him. Reluctantly Shelly picked up her bag and, turning in the doorway, she forced a cheerful wave. ‘If one of those biscuits does happen to find its way to Matthew…’
‘I know,’ Marlene sighed. ‘Make sure I brush his teeth.’ Holding up one of Matthew’s hands, she guided him into a wave as Shelly opened the car door, the tempting scent of a neighbour’s barbeque wafting over the fence. Even though it was nudging eight-thirty, it was still so light Shelly wouldn’t even need to put on her headlights, and it would have been so tempting not to go, to curl up on the sofa with Matthew and read him his beloved book.
Not that Matthew would thank her for it, Shelly mused as she turned onto the freeway and headed towards the hospital, Matthew would be having the time of his little life right now, gorging on biscuits and dancing around the lounge with his eccentric grandmother, who would end in one night the routine Shelly had been so painfully attempting to implement.
‘Who are you trying to kid?’ Shelly mumbled, rallying slightly as she caught sight of herself in the rearview mirror, her pale eyelashes gone for ever, or at least the next couple of months, thanks to this afternoon’s tint. As tempting as a cuddle on the sofa with Matthew might be, tonight, for the first time in ages, she couldn’t wait to get to work. Putting her foot down slightly, Shelly felt a tremble of excitement somewhere in the pit of her stomach as the signs for the hospital loomed ever closer, the brightly lit building coming into view, the hub of staff outside Emergency indicating something serious was on its way in. A security guard indicated for Shelly to clear the entrance road. Pulling over, she sat in her car patiently waiting as an ambulance flew past, its flashing blue lights adding to the theatre of it all, watching as the emergency staff leapt forward to greet it. Shelly felt the bubble of excitement in her stomach rapidly expand.
Chisholm Hospital had never looked so exciting!
‘Thank goodness you’re on tonight, Shelly.’ Melissa patted the seat beside her at the nurses’ station. ‘I’ve had agency staff with me every night this week—it will be nice to have someone who actually knows the place.’
‘You smell nice.’ Turning, she smiled at Shelly who sat blushing as red as her hair. ‘You look lovely too—been to the hairdressers?’
‘No,’ Shelly lied. ‘You’re just used to seeing me coming on an early shift at seven in the morning.’
‘Hmm.’ Melissa looked at her knowingly but didn’t push further. ‘So, how many nights are you down for?’
‘You’re stuck with me for a month.’ Shelly rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve been avoiding it for ages so it had to catch up with me sooner or later. Tania rang me at home this morning and told me you were tearing your hair out.’
‘I was and I know it’s probably the last thing you need right now, but I for one am glad you said yes to a stint on nights.’
‘I really didn’t have any choice.’ Shelly shrugged. ‘There’s been a big fat zero beside my name where night shifts have been concerned recently. Bring back the old days, I can’t stand internal rotation.’
‘Sounds painful!’
Shelly let out a gurgle of laughter and stood up delightedly. ‘Ross!’
‘The one and only.’
‘Only you could find a sexual connotation with the nursing roster! So how are you finding it? Back in civilisation after all this time?’
‘I’ve had a very civilised couple of years, thank you very much,’ Ross corrected, wagging his finger playfully. ‘There’s a bit more to the outback than tents and billy tea but, yes, it’s good to be back, I think.’
‘You think?’ Shelly questioned with a grin. ‘I would have thought they’d be treating you gently on your first day back.’ She was blushing to her toenails now, shamefully aware that the perfume, the hairdresser’s, even the shaved legs and smooth bikini line had been done entirely for the benefit of this quick delicious moment at handover, to show Ross somehow that she hadn’t completely let herself go just because she’d had a baby. There was nothing like an old friend reappearing after a prolonged absence to force a critical look in the mirror, and now that the vague chance she’d catch Ross on his way off duty had materialised, Shelly was taken back by the rush of emotion that had engulfed her.
Ross Bodey was back in town, and he looked absolutely divine, his blond hair practically white now, courtesy of the hot Australian sun, and his face brown and smooth, accentuating the impossibly blue eyes.
‘I’ve only just set foot in the place.’ Ross grimaced. ‘Luke Martin is off sick so they rang me at the crack of dawn this morning to tell me I’m going to be stuck on nights for the next week, so there goes my social life. How about you?’
For a second Shelly’s eyes flickered to Melissa who sat innocently staring at the whiteboard, jotting down the names of the children and babies under the care of the ward that night. ‘I don’t have a social life, Ross. I’ve got a son to think of now. Wine bars and night-clubs are but a distant memory these days.’
‘I meant what shift are you on?’
‘Nights.’ Shelly had to forcibly remove the grin from her face and remember she was supposed to be disgruntled about the fact.
‘So we’re stuck with each other?’ Ross wasn’t even pretending to look disgruntled. He was grinning from ear to ear, teasing her with his smile.
‘It looks that way.’
‘So you don’t have a social life.’ Smiling, he tutted a few times. ‘Haven’t you heard of babysitters?’
‘Not with the tantrums my son’s been throwing lately. I wouldn’t inflict that temper on anyone just yet.’
Ross just laughed. ‘So Matthew’s hitting the terrible twos with a vengeance?’
‘That’s an understatement.’ Shelly’s voice stayed light, her grin stayed put, but her mind was whirring as the beginning of a frown puckered her forehead. ‘How did you know his name?’
Ross shrugged. ‘Melissa told me. So who’s looking after him tonight?’
Her frown deepened. Melissa had obviously told Ross a bit more than Matthew’s name. ‘My parents are, they’ve been really good. You know about Neil and me, then?’
Ross nodded. Moving away from the desk slightly, they found their own private space in the corridor, slipping so easily back into their ways of old. ‘It can’t have been easy for you.’
Shelly gave a slightly brittle laugh. ‘That’s an understatement.’
Ross didn’t comment at first, the silence around them building as Shelly stood there wondering how much to tell, scuffing the highly polished floor with her rubber soles and leaving little black marks that would have the cleaners in hysterics in the morning.
‘Neil told me he was leaving us the day I was due to be discharged from hospital, the day I was supposed to bring Matthew home.’ Her voice was shaky and she couldn’t even look up as she recounted her story, sure the inevitable pity she was so tired of seeing in people’s eyes would send her into floods of tears. ‘He said he couldn’t cope with a handicapped child, that it just wasn’t what he was cut out for.’
‘Then you’re better off without him.’
Shelly looked up with a start. There was no pity in his voice or in his gorgeous blue eyes, just the cool sound of reason.
‘So everyone keeps telling me,’ Shelly sighed. ‘And they’re all probably right. But is it better for Matthew? Surely he needs a father?’
‘Not that sort,’ Ross said quickly, his voice strangely flip, a defiant jut to his chin. Suddenly he looked older than twenty-seven. He certainly didn’t look like the carefree backpacker she’d built in her mind. He looked every bit the man he was. ‘Children need to feel loved, safe and wanted, which are the three things Neil can’t give him, so if you ask me, Matthew’s better off without him. You, too, so I’m not going to make small-talk, passing on my condolences about the demise of your marriage when your divorce obviously agrees with you. You look the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time.’
‘I am,’ Shelly said slowly, the words a revelation even to herself. The divorce had hurt, but her grief had been expended long ago. The tears she cried now when she thought about the end of her marriage weren’t for herself and what she’d lost but for her little boy, a two-year-old child whose father simply didn’t want to know. Yet for all the angst, for all the struggle, both financially and emotionally, for all the responsibility of being a single parent, for the first time in over two years Shelly actually realised just how much she had moved on.
That she was finally making it.
Not happy exactly, but definitely getting there.
As Melissa stood up Shelly picked up her notepad. ‘I’d better go and get the handover. I’ll catch up with you later.’
‘No doubt about that.’
Her cheeks were burning as she took handover, her mind flitting as she desperately tried to concentrate, tried to ask intelligent questions and make sure she had all the drip rates and drugs due diligently written down in her usual neat handwriting as Annie, the sister in charge of the late shift, told the night staff about the patients on the ward. But there was no chance of that. Her mind was saturated with Ross, going over and over their brief but long-awaited exchange. Still, when Annie gave the details of the latest admission, Shelly’s ears pricked up and all thought of Ross flew out of the window, momentarily at least.
‘We’ve got a new patient direct from Theatre—Angus Marshall, twenty months old with a spiral fracture of the femur.’
Shelly’s eyes shot up as Annie continued. A spiral fracture in a child was an injury that sounded alarm bells and Shelly’s were ringing, but Annie quickly shook her head to dispel any worries.
‘The staff in Emergency are happy with the story—they don’t think it’s a non-accidental injury. Apparently he’s just started walking so the injury could have happened when he fell.’
‘Could have?’ Shelly questioned, knowing that injuries like that were sometimes caused by an abusive parent.
‘They’re not sure how it happened, there’s a big sister and a new baby at home so it’s obviously a busy house. Apparently Angus was very grouchy and reluctant to weight-bear and his mum noticed the swelling so she took him to their GP who sent them over to us. They’re nice people, the child’s beautifully looked after.’
‘That doesn’t mean anything.’ Melissa’s stern voice matched Shelly’s thoughts exactly.
‘I’m going on what I’ve been told. They’ve been interviewed extensively by Dr Khan down in Emergency and he’s satisfied that it was a simple accident, so it’s not up to us to go jumping to conclusions.’
‘Nobody’s jumping,’ Shelly said in a calm voice, trying to diffuse the undercurrents. ‘But with an injury like that, child abuse has to be considered.’
‘Which it has been,’ Annie answered stiffly. ‘And it’s been discounted.’
‘So, how many beds does that leave us with?’ Shelly asked when she realised the discussion was going nowhere.
‘One bed and two cots,’ Annie said, closing the folder she was reading from. ‘But Emergency just rang and they’re probably going to be sending up a three-month-old boy with bronchiolitis, which will leave you with just the one cot.’
‘Probably?’ Shelly checked.
‘He’s quite sick, they’re still deciding whether or not to transfer him to the Children’s Hospital in case he needs an ICU cot as our intensive-care beds are all taken. Ross is just heading off down there to see him.’
‘Well, I hope Ross takes into account there’s only three night staff on and Nicola’s only a grad,’ Melissa said with a warning note to her voice that had Annie again ducking for cover. Melissa was a straight talker and didn’t care who got hurt along the way. Feelings didn’t come in to it when she was dealing with her beloved babies. ‘It’s not like on days where staff are falling over themselves. One critical baby is bad enough but there’s a couple more here that could go downhill quickly.’
‘Ross knows all that,’ Annie said defensively. ‘But this baby has been down in Emergency for eighteen hours now, and there’s hardly a paediatric intensive care cot left in Melbourne, so someone’s going to have to take him. Anyway, Emergency just had a big multi-trauma come in and they need to start moving some of the patients.’
‘Well, maybe you should have thought of that earlier,’ Melissa carried on, without even blinking. ‘You know as well as I do that we’re going to get this baby. He should have been admitted and settled by now while there were enough staff to do it comfortably, not left till Emergency’s bursting at the seams and there’s no choice but to move him.’ And without another word she headed out onto the ward, leaving the rest of the staff chewing their lips and rolling their eyes.
‘Good luck with her tonight,’ Annie said with a grimace. ‘She’s in a right old mood.’
‘I don’t blame her,’ Shelly said quickly, and to the other staff’s obvious surprise. ‘That baby should have been admitted ages ago, not just left for the night staff.’
Minor bickers like this were uncomfortable but commonplace on a busy ward. Even though Shelly hadn’t done a stint on nights for ages she knew how busy it was, and also knew that as much fun as Annie was to work with she was also very good at putting things off for the next shift to deal with. Melissa had been right to say something and Shelly was only too happy in this instance to defend her. As the day staff departed Shelly gave a comforting smile to a nervous-looking Nicola.
‘When Melissa said you were “only a grad” she wasn’t aiming it at you personally, just pointing out the staff levels,’ Shelly said, moving straight to the point.
‘I know that. It’s just that she seems so fierce. I know I haven’t worked with Melissa but I’ve seen her in handover and it’s enough to put anyone off. I’ve been dreading coming on nights.’
‘You haven’t worked with Melissa yet,’ Shelly pointed out. ‘You’ve only seen her in here. She’s nothing like that out there.’ Shelly gestured to the ward and gave Shelly a reassuring smile. ‘Any bad feeling stays in the handover room, that’s an important rule on the children’s ward. The patients pick up on bad vibes otherwise. Anyway Melissa’s as soft as butter really. Once the day staff are gone you’ll see that for yourself. As fierce as she can be, Melissa’s also the best nurse here, you can learn a lot from her. There’s nothing about sick children Melissa doesn’t know. She’s been doing this job for more than thirty years now, so if there’s anything you’re worried about don’t sit on it, just tell her, OK?’
‘OK.’ Nicola nodded but Shelly could see the poor girl was still terrified.
‘It will be fine, you’ll see.’
It was fine. The obs and drug round went smoothly. Even the raucous older children, some bored from weeks in traction, seemed fairly settled, exhausted from too many visitors and computer games and a day spent good-naturedly teasing the nurses.
Melissa was in charge so she worked both sides, overseeing all the patients and keeping a watchful eye on Nicola as she settled the children and did the late round. Shelly took the cots, which consisted of eight airy rooms all surrounded by glass, which meant at any given time she had an uninterrupted view of her patients but they were all effectively isolated so as not to spread any infections. Six were occupied and Shelly checked each child carefully, smiling to herself as she did so, taking in the little bottoms sticking up in the air, thumbs tucked into mouths, the babies sleeping on blissfully as Shelly watched over them. A couple of the cheekier babies had extensions on their cots to stop them climbing out, but for now they all looked like cute little angels.
Angus was sleeping and Shelly roused him gently, carefully checking his observations and the little toes sticking out of the damp plaster, making sure the circulation to his foot was adequate. Annie was right, Shelly thought as she flicked on the cot light and checked him more closely, Angus was beautifully kept—his little nails short and clean, his hair soft and shiny, no rashes or bruises, nothing to indicate he was anything other than loved and cherished.
‘Is he all right?’ Mrs Marshall’s anxious face appeared at the end of the cot. ‘I was just getting a coffee.’
‘He’s fine,’ Shelly reassured her. ‘He’ll probably sleep soundly for the next couple of hours. He was given a strong painkiller so he’s quite comfortable. Would you like me to get you a camp bed? We can set it up beside the cot.’
Mrs Marshall shook her head. ‘Thanks, but no. The day nurse, Annie I think her name was, already offered, but I’m going to go home. I’ve got the other two to sort out and it’s been an exhausting day.’
‘I’m sure it has. We can always ring you if there are any problems, if he gets too distressed,’ Shelly said.
‘Of course.’ Mrs Marshall gave a tired smile. ‘But he normally sleeps right through.’ The mobile telephone ringing in her bag made them both jump and Shelly waited patiently as Mrs Marshall took the call.
‘That was my husband, Doug. He’s come to pick me up.’ Walking over to her son, she gave him a tender kiss and stroked his little lock of hair. Shelly knew she should mention that mobiles were supposed to be turned off on the ward, given her little lecture about the interference they could cause with the equipment, but she didn’t. Trying to put herself in Mrs Marshall’s place for a moment, she figured it could wait for the morning.
Shelly had always been a quick worker and was grateful for the chance to make up a few bottles for when the babies inevitably awoke and to prepare some jugs of boiled water and change the sterilising solutions. Happy she was on top of things, Shelly set up an oxygen tent for the inevitable new admission and prepared the sterilising equipment and nurses’ gowns along with some literature on bronchiolitis for the undoubtedly anxious parents.
‘How’s it going?’ Melissa popped her head in the darkened room and smiled as she saw Shelly setting up the room. ‘Finally, someone who doesn’t have to be told! How are they all?’
‘Settled. I’ve put the new admission in here so it’s nearer the nurses’ station, but cot six needs an eye kept on—she’s still a bit wheezy even after her nebuliser. Cots two and four are due for a feed at eleven so I’ve left their obs till then. Their mums aren’t staying, so if they wake up at the same time I might need you or Nicola to feed one of them—their bottles are all ready.’
‘Good.’
‘How’s Angus?’
‘Fine.’
‘And the mother?’
‘She’s fine too, she’s gone home.’
Melissa shot her a shrewd look. ‘So what’s the problem?’
‘I don’t know,’ Shelly admitted. ‘I know lots of mums go home, that it doesn’t mean anything at all…’
‘Just that you wouldn’t?’
‘I’ve only got one child.’ Shelly flicked her eyes down to her handover notes. ‘Mrs Marshall’s got three and one of them is a young baby. She might be breast-feeding so it’s totally understandable that she had to go home.’
‘So why aren’t you convinced?’
Shelly shrugged. ‘Her husband rang her from the ambulance bay. Surely he’d want to pop up and see Angus and say goodnight?’
‘Maybe he’s got the other two asleep in the back of the car,’ Melissa pointed out. ‘Imagine if Security found two children unattended in the car park. The social workers would have a field day!’
Melissa was right, of course. There was a perfectly reasonable explanation and Shelly gave her head a small shake, determined to concentrate on the facts. But she’d misjudged Melissa, the conversation wasn’t over yet.
‘Just keep your eyes and ears open. I’m not entirely happy myself.’ For a moment their gazes lingered on the sleeping toddler, both women deep in their own thoughts for a moment. ‘Come and have a cuppa before they wake up,’ Melissa said finally with forced cheerfulness. ‘I’ll go and put the kettle on.’
‘Sounds marvellous.’
‘Wait till you taste the cake I’ve made. Ross is already champing at the bit.’
‘Melissa?’ Shelly called as Melissa made her way out of the ward. ‘Just what did you say to Ross exactly?’
‘That I’d baked a cake!’ Melissa gave Shelly a quizzical look as if she’d gone completely mad!
‘I’m not talking about the cake, Melissa.’ Shelly took a deep breath. She didn’t want to ruffle any feathers but the fact Melissa had taken it on herself to tell Ross so much about Shelly’s personal life needed addressing—the very last thing she needed was Melissa playing Cupid. Ross Bodey had enough women after him without thinking he had Shelly on his list of swooning fans. ‘Ross knows Matthew’s name, he seems to know all about the divorce, I just wondered how.’
‘I might have said something…’ Melissa shrugged.
‘You mean you gave him a life update on me the second he entered the ward. Why?’
‘I didn’t,’ Melissa said quickly. ‘I hadn’t laid eyes on Ross until I saw him when I was with you, honestly,’ she insisted as Shelly gave her a disbelieving look. ‘Believe it or not, as riveting as your life might seem to you, it’s not my favourite topic of conversation. Ross and I have kept in touch while he’s been away, I probably said a few things then in passing.’
‘Oh.’ Thankfully the room was in semi-darkness and Melissa couldn’t see the blush flaming on her cheeks, but with the heat it was radiating Shelly was sure she must be able to feel it winging its way across the quiet room.
‘He’s rung a few times at night when he’s needed something looked up or wanted a bit of advice on a patient. He’s a good doctor is Ross, not too up himself to ask a nurse for advice, and when he rang we’d have a chat. He’d ask what the gossip was, who was seeing who, who was pregnant, who was leaving, that type of thing. We didn’t just talk about you, Shelly.’
Suitably chastised, Shelly wished the ground would swallow her up whole.
‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled. ‘I was just taken back that he knew so much about everything.’
‘That’s Ross for you.’ Melissa shrugged. ‘You know he loves all the gossip.’
‘Sure.’ Fiddling with the oxygen tubes, Shelly kept her voice even. ‘Go on, then, get the kettle on, I’ll finish up in here.’
Once alone, Shelly sank onto the camp bed she had made up for the baby’s mother. Sitting perched on the end, she buried her burning cheeks in her hand, trying for the life of her to fathom why Ross keeping in touch with Melissa had upset her. Why was she feeling like a jealous schoolgirl all of a sudden?
‘Blast,’ she muttered, then flicked her eyes open to check the coast was still clear. As if Ross would be that interested in her marriage problems. As if Melissa was going to rush to fill him in on the latest saga.
She really wasn’t that important.
It had just been a casual chat, a snippet of gossip Melissa had imparted to a bored doctor stuck in the middle of nowhere, eager for a chat, happy to while away the lonely hours on call with an old friend. She should have been relieved, relieved that Melissa hadn’t embarrassed her, that she hadn’t bent his ear about the divorce with a nudge and a wink and a load of innuendo.
But…
The green-eyed monster was rearing its ugly head again.
Why hadn’t Ross rung her? Why had he kept in touch with Melissa over the last few years?
And why did it matter so much?
‘Damn,’ Shelly said more strongly, the words whistling through her gritted teeth as she forced herself to take a deep steadying breath as realisation finally hit.
The hairdresser’s, the perfume, the long overdue meeting with her razor hadn’t been a coincidence. Hadn’t even been a vague attempt to show an old friend she hadn’t completely let herself go.
Of all the stupid things to go and do…
Of all the ridiculous, ludicrous things she had done in her time, this one certainly took the biscuit.
Developing a king-size crush on a certain Ross Bodey was the last thing Shelly needed to deal with. Her cheeks scorched with embarrassment at the thought of him finding out, that the dependable, organised Shelly, his on-duty friend and confidante, had succumbed like legions of others to his blue-eyed charm.
He was miles out of her league, young free and single, not just a world away but an entire galaxy from Shelly’s routine existence, and it would serve her well to remember the fact.
Ross Bodey was way out of bounds.
CHAPTER TWO (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab)
PULLING up a chair at the nurses’ station, Shelly smiled at a now much happier Nicola.
‘She’s great, isn’t she?’ Nicola said, happily munching into a huge slab of walnut cake.
‘Told you. Melissa’s bark is far worse than her bite. Once the day staff are gone she relaxes—and feeds us,’ Shelly added, helping herself to a generous slice.
‘Save some for me!’ Ross perched on the edge of the desk, depositing a mountain of files and X-rays as he did so.
‘How’s the baby in Emergency?’
‘Heading this way,’ Ross sighed. ‘He’s pretty sick but he’s holding his own at the moment. The children’s hospital has got an ICU cot but not a general one, whereas we’ve got a general but no ICU. I can’t believe I’d managed to forget the constant battle with the bed state.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Looks like we’re in for a long night. Hopefully Melissa will go easy on me, I didn’t really have any choice but to admit him. Emergency’s steaming down there, it’s no place for a sick baby.’
‘I agree.’ Melissa, coming up behind Ross, caused him to jump. ‘I don’t mind being busy, Ross, it’s just the general thoughtlessness that annoys me. Annie should have had him up here hours ago. Instead, we’ve got a sick baby to assess and an overwrought mum to deal with in the middle of the night. A little bit of foresight wouldn’t have gone amiss.’
Ross nodded his head in agreement. ‘Right, what have you got for me? I’d better clear the pile before Kane gets here. Who knows when I’ll find time otherwise?’
‘Just a couple of IV orders that need updating, and I think Shelly wants some antibiotics written up for cot five—his blood culture results are back.’
Ross nodded. ‘Yeah, the lab just paged me.’ One hand tapped away on the computer as he brought up the results. ‘This is the life,’ he sighed. ‘Pathologists on call, X-Ray just a stone’s throw away.’
‘I thought you said it was civilised where you were,’ Shelly teased, desperately trying to resume normal services despite her internal bombshell.
‘It was. The clinic I worked in at Tennagarrah was comparable to a luxury caravan. All the basics were there but you weren’t exactly spoilt for choice and you had to work for everything. This in comparison is a five-star hotel.’ With an exaggerated whoop of delight he jumped down and opened the drug fridge. ‘And just look at the mini-bar, where do I start? Bactrim, flucloxacillin, gentamicin, vancomycin. What can I get you, Sister?’
Shelly peered at the monitor in front of her, reading the blood results and the antibiotic sensitivities. ‘Well, a large dose of flucloxacillin would hit the spot.’
‘Coming right up.
‘Anything else I can get you?’ Ross asked, carrying on the joke as he pulled the vial of antibiotic out of the fridge. ‘Have you had a look at the room service menu yet?’
‘This will do just fine.’ Picking up her cake, Shelly effectively ended the playful conversation. Images of five-star hotels and bubbling spas and four-poster beds weren’t exactly doing wonders for her blood pressure, and the sight of the porter wheeling in the gurney carrying the baby provided a very welcome diversion.
‘Kane Anderson,’ the emergency nurse informed them as Shelly pulled down the cot side and greeted Kane’s mum with a warm smile. ‘He’s been down in Emergency so long he’s part of the furniture now. This is his mum, Angela.’
‘Hi, Angela, we’re just going to get Kane into the cot and then I’ll get the handover from Emergency. Once that’s done I’ll come and settle you both in.’ Gently she lifted the infant over, handling him deftly and with minimum fuss so as to avoid any unnecessary exertion.
Although the handover was important and the emergency nurse was obviously in a rush to get back to her department, Shelly took a moment or two to explain how the oxygen tent worked, realising how alarming it must look to Angela.
‘This monitor tells us the oxygen concentration in the tent, it’s very safe.’
‘He can’t suffocate?’ Angela checked.
‘Definitely not,’ Shelly said firmly. ‘If the level drops in the tent the alarm goes off, and this little probe I’ve attached to his foot tells us Kane’s own oxygen levels. I’ll be back in a couple of moments. I’m just outside but if you’re worried at all just bang on the window or call.’
‘She’s being a bit difficult,’ the emergency nurse started.
‘No doubt because she’s worried and exhausted,’ Shelly said quickly, refusing to get drawn into a discussion on the mother’s emotional state, preferring to make her own observations. ‘And eighteen hours in Emergency wouldn’t exactly have helped matters. What’s the story with the baby?’
The story wasn’t very good. Three days of a worsening cough and struggling to feed, two different types of antibiotics from the local GP and a long wait in Emergency. ‘His respiration rate is still very high and his heart rate’s elevated. He’s very grizzly, which isn’t helping his breathing, and he just won’t settle.’
‘Any wet nappies?’ Shelly asked, flicking through the obs chart.
‘Three. He was moderately dehydrated when he came to us but the IV fluids have kicked in now. He’s still very sick, though.’
Shelly nodded in agreement. Her brief assessment of Kane had done nothing to reassure her. He was working hard with each rapid breath, using his stomach muscles, his tiny nostrils flaring, all dangerous signs. ‘I’ll get Ross to have another look at him,’ Shelly concluded, anxious to get back to her small charge. ‘Thanks for that.’
Ross was already at the cot side, rubbing his stethoscope between his hands to warm it before placing it gently on the baby’s rapidly moving chest as Angela stood anxiously wringing her hands, every bleep of the monitors making her jump slightly, every tiny jerking movement Kane made causing her to step forward anxiously, bombarding Ross with questions as he tried to listen to the baby’s breathing.
‘He’s hungry,’ Angela said the second Shelly entered. ‘The sister in Emergency said he might be able to have a bottle once he got up to the ward.’
Pulling the stethoscope out of his ears, Ross straightened, carefully zipping up the oxygen tent and pulling up the cot side. ‘He can’t have a bottle at the moment, Angela, he’s too exhausted to feed.’
‘But he isn’t settling.’
Shelly could hear the slightly hysterical note creeping into Angela’s voice and stood back quietly as she carried on with her outburst.
‘They said they were going to put a tube down his nose and give him the milk that way, but they haven’t even done that. No one seems to be doing anything. He’s not even on any antibiotics!’
‘Look, why don’t you sit down for a minute?’ Ross started, but his well-meant words only inflamed Angela further.
‘I don’t want to sit down,’ she shouted. ‘I want someone to tell me what’s being done for my baby.’
‘I know you’re upset—’ Shelly started.
‘Oh, what would you know?’ Angela snapped, turning her fury on Shelly, her face livid.
‘That you’re exhausted, and terrified?’ Shelly ventured, her stance relaxed, her voice calm and sympathetic. ‘That you’ve probably had more people offering their opinions and telling you what might be, could be, should be done than you can even count?’
Mistrusting eyes finally made contact and Angela gave a grudging nod.
‘Well, you’re on the children’s ward now, and Ross is the doctor and Melissa and I are the nurses looking after you and your son tonight. If you’ll let us, we can tell you what we’re going to be doing, but shouting and getting upset is only going to unsettle Kane—can you see that?’
The nod Angela gave wasn’t so grudging this time, more sheepish, and Shelly felt her heart go out to the other woman as she burst into noisy tears. ‘I’m sorry, it’s not you, I’m just so scared, he keeps getting worse.’
‘He’s been sick for a few days, hasn’t he?’ Shelly asked gently.
‘Since the weekend. I thought it was just a cold at first then he got this cough and then he started wheezing. I haven’t slept for the last two nights.’
‘Kane has bronchiolitis,’ Ross broke in, gently taking Angela’s arm and guiding her to a chair before pulling one up for himself. ‘It’s a respiratory virus that can be particularity nasty in young babies. Now, because it’s a virus antibiotics aren’t going to do any good, none at all,’ he emphasised as Angela opened her mouth to argue. ‘What Kane needs at the moment is what we call supportive care. That means he needs to be kept warm and rested, with lots of oxygen to help him breathe and fluids through a drip to keep him hydrated. All of this we’re doing for him, and this in turn gives his body a chance to concentrate on fighting the virus. If we give him a bottle now he wouldn’t be able to cope with it, he simply hasn’t got enough energy to feed. If we give him one at this stage he could become a very sick little boy indeed.’
‘What about the tube they were talking about?’ Angela asked hopefully, her mind still focussed on her baby getting fed, but Ross firmly shook his head.
‘The tube we would pass is very small and fine, but it would still upset him while we passed it and I don’t want to cause him any more distress, that’s why I’m going to try and not to do any blood tests or anything that might upset him, for now we just want him to rest. Kane’s getting what he needs from the drip and we can give him a dummy to settle him.’
‘He keeps spitting it out.’ Angela’s voice was rising again, her shredded nerves ready to snap at any moment, but Ross carried on chatting, his voice amicable and easy.
‘We can soon fix that.’
‘How?’ Angela snapped.
‘Glycerine.’ Ross gave an easy shrug as Angela immediately shook her head.
‘You’re not supposed to put anything on their dummies, it says so in all the books. The child health nurse said—’
‘Kane’s very sick,’ Ross interrupted gently. ‘He needs to rest, and if a smear of glycerine on his dummy achieves that, then it’s merited.’
‘Ross.’ Shelly gave him a wide-eyed look and Ross frowned slightly at the interruption. ‘Can I have a quick word, please?’
‘What’s up, Shelly?’ Following her outside, there was a slight impatience to Ross’s stance. ‘I’m trying to calm the mother. Pulling me outside isn’t really helping.’
‘I know that,’ Shelly responded. ‘But putting anything on the babies’ dummies really is frowned on. Tania will have a fit…’
‘Tania isn’t here,’ Ross pointed out. ‘And if she was I’d tell her what I’m about to tell you. That baby’s sick—any further slide in his condition and he’ll be on a ventilator in intensive care. Now, given this hospital hasn’t even got an intensive-care cot, that will mean sending him and Angela for a ten-minute jaunt in a helicopter. Now, if a bit of glycerine on a dummy can prevent that, I’m all for it.’
‘But, Ross.’ Shelly pulled at his sleeve as he turned to go, the contact tiny but enough to throw her, the sleeve of his white coat new and crisp, the solid bulge of his forearm, even the scent of his aftershave wafting over as he turned to go, all enough to distract her. Shelly fumbled to finish her argument.
‘I know it seems petty, but the department has strict guidelines on this. The dental damage—’
‘Shelly.’ Ross’s voice was quiet, but his words were very clear as he spoke, his eyes looking right into hers, unblinking, unwavering. ‘Let’s get this little guy through tonight, huh? Lose this battle and tooth decay will be something Angela can only dream about.’
Shelly’s eyes were wide with surprise as Ross turned and went back to Kane. His words made sense, good sense, and in truth Shelly felt ridiculous arguing about such a tiny detail, but rules were rules…But it wasn’t Ross’s little lecture that had left her reeling.
The few years in the bush had changed him. That easygoing, eager-to-please guy was gone, and in his place, just as gorgeous, just as stunning, was a rather more confident version, a man who knew what he wanted, and would make sure he got it.
Heading to the treatment room, Shelly took a while to find the little-used jar.
‘The contraband’s arrived,’ Ross said dryly as Shelly joined him at the bedside, Angela looking on anxiously, still dubious that it would work.
‘It’s just while he’s sick,’ Shelly said confidently, noting the tiny smile of appreciation on the edge of Ross’s lips as she put aside her own misgivings and beckoned for Angela to come closer. ‘What’s more, it’s something you can do for Kane to help him settle.’
Her words hit the mark. As Angela took the dummy, Shelly went into greater detail, showing Angela how to open the tent, how she could slip her hands in and even put her head in the cot to cuddle and speak to her child. Thankfully the glycerine worked and after a few goes baby Kane finally took his dummy. With the tent delivering a high dose of concentrated oxygen, he lay back exhausted, his little arms and legs flopping outwards like a washed-up frog as he drifted into a spent sleep.
‘How’s he doing?’ Melissa’s knowledgeable eyes scanned the monitors and baby in a moment.
‘He’s asleep, his saturations are ninety-two on thirty-five per cent oxygen.’
‘Turn it up to forty per cent,’ Melissa said after a moment’s thought. ‘Let’s give him as much help as we can.’
Ross nodded his approval as Shelly fiddled with the flow meter.
‘Come and have a cup of coffee,’ Melissa offered to Angela.
‘I’d rather not leave him. Can I have it in here?’
‘Sorry, but the last thing you or the staff will be thinking of if Kane gets worse suddenly is a hot cup of coffee balanced on the locker.’
‘Fair enough.’ Angela was positively meek now, but even Shelly thought Ross was pushing things with what he said next.
‘Go and have a coffee.’ Ross’s voice was assured. ‘And then come back and have a lie-down.’
‘I’m not sleeping,’ Angela flared. ‘How can I sleep when he’s this sick? What if he gets worse?’
‘He probably is going to get a bit worse.’ Ross’s eyes held Angela’s terrified ones. ‘And then he’s going to start getting better, and when he does he’s going to have you running in circles, feeding him, amusing him, spoiling him rotten…’ He gave a tiny smile and to Shelly’s amazement Angela gave a reluctant one back. ‘You need some rest, you need to try and trust us to look after your baby, and you’re going to be right next to him.’ He gestured to the camp bed, his eyes never leaving Angela’s face. ‘And if anything happens, we’ll wake you.
‘I promise,’ he added.
‘You’ve got the A team on tonight,’ Melissa broke in, her brisk, efficient voice such a contrast to Ross’s calm one, but somehow the balance worked. ‘Your baby’s in good hands. Now, come and have a coffee with me while we go through the admission forms. I need to know his little ways, what formula he has, how you generally settle him, that type of thing.’ Technically the job was Shelly’s, she was looking after cots tonight so the admission was hers, but Shelly was more than happy to defer to Melissa. They were a team and Melissa was what Angela needed right now—someone a touch more authoritative, less close in age, someone to lean on.
‘She’ll be right now,’ Ross said quietly as Melissa led Angela out. ‘That’s why I wanted to just get them up here. The poor woman was beside herself down in Emergency. A slice of Melissa’s cake and a bit of a rest and she’ll be a new woman.’
He was right, of course. Ross was always right when it came to dealing with women, Shelly mused, fiddling again with the flow meter to get the concentration right now that the cot was zipped up and Kane was quietly resting. Someone must have given Ross a glimpse of the rule book the day he hit puberty, told him how to turn on that winning smile and work that velvet voice to gain maximum impact. Oh, he wasn’t a flirt, he didn’t turn on the charm to beguile people, it was all just so damned effortless with him and it would be so, so easy to let it go to her head.
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CAROL MARINELLI
The doctor and the single momWhen Shelly Weaver returns to the children's ward for her first night shift as a single mom, she discovers it's also Dr. Ross Bodey's first night back. He's been working in the Outback, but on discovering Shelly's newly single status he's returned—for her!Shelly didn't know Ross was in love with her—until now. And suddenly Ross is asking her to change her life forever. But Shelly has her son to consider, although he is falling in love with Ross as quickly as Shelly is…
“It wouldn’t work,” Shelly insisted in an irritated voice
“I’d rather pay a childminder to look after Matthew. At least that way I’d know they were doing things properly.”
“Properly!” Ross repeated her last word through pursed lips.
“Yes, properly, Ross,” Shelly snapped, her words coming out much too harsh. But suddenly Ross was getting too near for comfort, making promises he would surely never, ever keep, and perhaps more to the point Shelly was terrified of letting him into her life. Terrified that one look at the real Shelly—the mom, the housewife, the eternal juggling game that her life was at the moment—would have Ross scuttling away in two seconds flat.
But Ross wasn’t ready to even consider taking no for an option!
Dear Reader (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab),
Tall, blond, drop-dead gorgeous and kind, as well. I fell in love with Doctor Ross Bodey the second he popped into my head—quite simply he was everything a girl could wish for.
And that was the problem for my fabulous heroine Shelly—she isn’t a girl, she’s a woman. A woman who’s a touch older and a touch more jaded with the world than Ross. A woman who’s not just looking out for her own bruised heart, but that of her special-needs son.
I loved following their journey, sitting up well into the small hours, glued to my laptop, peeling back the layers and finding the real man behind the perfect smile. For Shelly and I, Ross Bodey was worth it—I hope he is for you, too.
Happy reading,
Carol Marinelli
The Baby Emergency
Carol Marinelli
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
Cover (#ua6accfd2-b9d1-5a13-94f6-5f3015d61678)
Introduction (#u4561e4fd-7b23-5367-b444-a571c23426e7)
Dear Reader (#u8cb518e6-5965-5a20-aef3-7dfc5aa50acc)
Title Page (#ud210086b-94c1-502a-9b77-c996150d411f)
PROLOGUE (#u0dc51738-e907-5710-b4c8-0312c7bfdf54)
CHAPTER ONE (#u7066dba8-eca6-578d-9028-ae676cf45f5c)
CHAPTER TWO (#u2296b6a1-6d4d-566d-9ad2-9f69f474e518)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
PROLOGUE (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab)
THERE were two very good reasons Shelly didn’t want to be there.
For one thing, the barrage of sympathetic stares and awkward greetings that were sure to greet her she could certainly do without.
And as to the other…
Darting into the changing room, she rather unceremoniously dumped the mud cake she had bought on the bench, before checking her reflection in the full-length mirror.
The pregnancy books had been right about one thing at least—the mid-trimester glow they had promised as a reward for the constant nausea and mood swings had finally appeared.
Glowing was the only word that would describe her.
Even Shelly, with her eternally self-critical eye, acknowledged that for once in her thirty years her skin was smooth and clear with not a blemish in sight. Even her long auburn curls seemed to be behaving for the first time in memory, falling in heavy silky tendrils instead of their usual chaotic frizz, and her vivid green eyes were definitely sparkling.
Funny she should look so good when everything around her was falling apart.
Closing her eyes, Shelly took a deep cleansing breath, trying to settle the flurry of butterflies dancing in her stomach. Even the baby seemed to sense her nervousness, wriggling and kicking, little feet or hands making certain they were felt.
‘It’s OK, baby.’ Shelly put a protective hand to her stomach and spoke softly, hoping her falsely calm voice might somehow soothe the child within. ‘We’re going to face this together.’
Touching up her lipstick, Shelly fiddled with her top for a moment, the flimsy powder-blue top softening the ripe bulge of her stomach. She even indulged for a tiny moment the still surprising sight of a cleavage on her increasingly unfamiliar body.
This should be such a happy time. The words buzzed around in her head. How she wanted it to be happy, how she wanted to enjoy the changes that were overwhelming her, to be afforded again the luxury of revelling in what had been a very much planned and wanted baby.
Still wanted.
A fresh batch of tears was adding to the sparkle in her eyes and, blowing her nose loudly, Shelly practised a forced smile in the mirror and picked up the cake. Looking down at her bump, her free hand went back for a final comforting stroke of the baby within. ‘Come on, little one, let’s get this over with.’
‘Shelly!’ Her name seemed to be coming at her from all directions as her colleagues welcomed her warmly, welcoming her straight into the click of things, but despite the smiles and casual chit-chat, not one of them managed to look her in the eye.
Not one of them asked how her pregnancy was progressing.
Except Melissa.
The playroom on the children’s ward was for once void of patients and anxious parents, filled instead with staff, some in uniform, some like Shelly in regular clothes, all clutching cups and paper plates, all there to say goodbye to a certain doctor who in his six-month rotation had brought more vitality and energy to the ward than most did in their whole careers.
Like a radar homing in, Shelly made her way over to her staunchly loyal colleague, grateful in advance for the quiet support Melissa in her own unique way would impart. ‘Quite a spread,’ Shelly said, handing Melissa her cake. ‘Anyone would think it was one of the consultants leaving, not a temporary intern.’
‘I know,’ Melissa sighed. ‘Ross can’t believe it himself. I think he expected a cake and a couple of bottles of warm cola, but just look at the turn-out! People like Ross don’t come along everyday, though. We’re all going to miss him.’
And there was Shelly’s second reason.
She didn’t want to say goodbye.
Again.
Didn’t want Ross Bodey, who’d breezed into her life at various intervals over the years, to breeze out again. Didn’t want the smile that had brightened her day, the funny chats and sometimes serious insights to end.
It wasn’t as if she was alone. Not one person in this room wanted him to go. Ross in his own easygoing, light-hearted way had turned the ward around. Even Tania, the rigid unit manager, had somehow loosened up under his good-natured teasing. Everyone here today was going to miss him.
Especially Shelly.
Over the years they’d grown close.
Very close.
Oh, nothing to be ashamed about. They’d been friends for ages. Shelly had met him first when she’d been doing her midwifery training and Ross had been but a lowly second-year medical student.
The occasional coffee in the canteen had been a welcome interlude, listening as Ross had planned his travels, determined to fit the most into his summer semester break, happy too to let Shelly chatter on as she’d planned her engagement party.
Friends, nothing else.
The five-year age gap between them seemingly unfillable. Ross ready to party, Shelly ready to settle down.
Even when Ross had breezed back this time, ready to resume their friendship, Shelly hadn’t had a qualm of guilt. There was nothing in their friendship that threatened her marriage. There was a bond between them, that was all: something special that gelled them. They didn’t keep in touch or anything, their friendship only extended to the workplace, but it was their unique bond that made Ross call for her when he needed a hand, that made Shelly ring him first if there was a sick child she wanted seen. OK, maybe she did check the doctors’ roster with more than a faint interest these days, and maybe she had put up her hand for a couple of extra shifts when Ross had been on, but there was no harm in that, there was nothing wrong in a man and woman being friends.
Ross was twenty-five years old, for goodness’ sake, into nightclubs and trendy clothes. A world away from Shelly’s contented suburban existence: happily married, excitingly anticipating the birth of her first child.
Till now.
‘Fancy coming out for a drink at the weekend?’ Melissa’s invitation was casual enough but it was loaded with caring and Shelly bit back the sting of tears.
‘I might just take you up on that.’
Dear Melissa. For all Shelly’s friends, for all the colleagues who had squealed with delight when they had found out she was pregnant, who had beguiled her with horror stories of their own pregnancies and labour, Melissa, fifty, single and childless, had been the only one to call her up again and again when she had been permanently greeted by the answering-machine. The only one who had ignored Shelly’s frosty response and had pressed on regardless.
When friends were being doled out, Melissa had been a treasured find.
‘Shelly!’
Finally a pair of eyes were actually managing to look at her.
Very blue eyes, almost navy in fact; the dark lashes that framed them a contrast to the blond hair flopping perfectly and no doubt intentionally onto his good-looking face.
‘Hi, Ross.’ The forced smile was still in place and Shelly widened it an inch. ‘Given that it’s your last day, are you going to finally admit that you do dye your hair?’
‘Never.’ Ross grinned. ‘How would I find the time for all that palaver with roots and regrowth? You’re just going to have to accept that I’m naturally good-looking, isn’t that right, Melissa?’
‘No comment.’ Melissa shrugged good-naturedly then she let out a deep throaty laugh. ‘Who am I trying to kid? You’re stunning, Dr Bodey, you know it and so does everyone else. Just don’t let it get to your head.’
Waddling off, she left an open-mouthed Shelly gaping in her wake. ‘I do believe Melissa was flirting.’
‘Terrifying, wasn’t it?’ Ross winked.
The smile she had been forcing was coming more naturally now and Shelly took the plastic cup he’d brought over for her and took a quick sip of some very questionable cola.
‘Thanks for coming, by the way. I know you’re on days off.’
‘As if I wouldn’t have said goodbye. What are you doing tonight, having a big family send-off?’
‘Hardly.’ He gave a quick shrug and for the tiniest instant Shelly could have sworn she registered the beginning of a frown, but it soon faded, the nonchalant smile she was so used to soon back in place. ‘They’re used to me wandering off by now. It’ll just be a case of too many beers with a few choice friends. Come if you want.’
In Shelly’s present mood, Ross’s invitation didn’t even merit a response and Shelly didn’t bother to try.
‘Come on,’ Ross pushed. ‘I’ll even shout you a cola, with ice,’ he added, grimacing as he took another sip.
‘It’s better I don’t, I’m not exactly in the mood for a party. Anyway, we’re going to the tennis tonight.’
‘You lucky thing,’ Ross exclaimed. ‘It’s the quarterfinals too. I’ve been trying to get tickets all week—how did you manage to swing that?’
‘I didn’t,’ Shelly sighed. ‘We’re going with Neil’s work, another boring night making small-talk. Still, at least I can distract myself looking at the players. Who knows? Maybe one of them will see me sitting there in the stands and fall head over heels then whisk me away from all this.’ She caught his quick grin. ‘I’m allowed to fantasise, aren’t I?’
‘Of course,’ Ross said, that quick grin splitting his face now. ‘But given that it’s the women’s quarterfinals tonight, Shelly, that particular fantasy of yours is doing terrible things to my blood pressure!’
‘Ross!’ Shelly exclaimed, the first laugh she had expended in days spilling out of her lips as she blushed a rather unbecoming shade of claret and quickly changed the subject. ‘So, are you all packed?’
‘No.’ He shrugged as Shelly’s eyes widened.
‘But you’re going tomorrow.’
‘So? I’ll pack in the morning. I don’t think I’ll need much in the middle of the outback, a few shorts and T-shirts, a pair of boots. No doubt you’d have had checklists as long as your arm, trying to cram everything into ten suitcases.’
‘Probably,’ Shelly admitted with a begrudging smile. ‘I just like to be—’
‘Prepared,’ Ross finished with a laugh. ‘Super Nurse Shelly Weaver, prepared for any eventuality.’
‘Not quite.’ The smile was fading now and Shelly took a sip of her drink, eternally grateful to Ross for bringing it over, glad for something to do with her hands.
‘Did you find out what the sex of the baby is, then? Or are you going to keep us all in suspense?’
‘Sorry?’ Shelly looked up, startled, sure she must have misheard him.
‘You said were going to find out what you were having when you had your scan. Come on, you can tell me. I’m leaving so it won’t get out.’ He was still smiling, his grin so broad and his face so innocent Shelly truly thought he couldn’t have heard the news.
‘I found out a bit more than the sex.’ Shelly took another long drink, wiping away her cola moustache with the back of her hand as Ross just stood there patiently waiting for her to explain. ‘The scan showed up some anomalies,’ Shelly continued, her voice faltering every now and then as she spoke. ‘And after further tests the upshot is that I’m going to have a Down’s syndrome baby, or a special needs child, or whatever the latest buzz word is for it at the moment.’ Her green eyes shot up to his and the tears that were always appallingly close these days sparkled as they brimmed, ready to splash onto her cheeks. The bitter note in her voice was so out of place in her normal sunny nature even Shelly looked shocked at the venom in her voice. ‘I’m surprised you hadn’t heard already. News normally spreads like wildfire around here.’
‘Melissa told me,’ Ross said simply. ‘I’m sorry for what you’re going through. How are you managing?’
‘Fine,’ Shelly said through gritted teeth. ‘It’s not as if I have any choice but to manage.’
‘And Neil?’ Ross probed, ignoring her obvious desire to end the conversation.
‘Not so fine.’ Suddenly her paper cup was coming under intense scrutiny as Shelly fiddled with it in her hands. ‘Neil likes to be in control, likes to have choices, a say in things. He’s having trouble taking in the fact that no amount of second opinions or dollar-waving is going to change the outcome of this pregnancy.’
‘But he’s supporting you?’
Shelly gave a very short, very brittle laugh. ‘Is that what you call it?’ As soon as the words were out Shelly wished she could somehow erase them. Moaning about Neil, no matter how merited, no matter what the circumstances, seemed wrong somehow, but Ross didn’t seem fazed by her outburst. Instead he pulled the shredded cup from her hand, his eyes never leaving her face.
‘I shouldn’t have said that,’ Shelly mumbled as Ross stood there patiently, waiting for her to elaborate.
‘Why not?’ Ross asked simply, when no explanation was given.
‘I just shouldn’t have said anything, that’s all.’ She was almost biting through her lip in an effort to keep the tears back, and had the exit door not been located on the other side of the room Shelly would have turned and left there and then. She hadn’t come here for this. A quick goodbye was all she’d intended, and now here she was on the verge of letting five days of tortured anxiety burst forth and blubbering like an idiot in front of everyone.
‘Oh, Shelly, I’m sorry.’ His voice was suddenly serious, the tone directly hitting the final straw of Shelly’s reserves. As one large tear rolled onto her cheek a strong arm pulled around her thickened waist as he gently led her out of the playroom and into a small annexe where they stood alone and for the first time in days Shelly felt free to let the emotions she had held in check so painfully finally flow as Ross’s gentle voice gently gave her permission to continue. ‘Talk to me, Shelly. I know I’m going, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. I know there’s nothing I can say, but I can listen.’
‘There’s nothing anyone can say. I’m sick of seeing the pity in people’s eyes, sick of everyone adding up how many weeks pregnant I am in their heads and wondering if it’s too late for me to have a termination. It’s my baby.’ Tears were streaming unchecked now. ‘It’s my baby and I don’t want to get rid of him. So he’s not going to perfect! It doesn’t mean I don’t want him. I should still be allowed to love him.’
‘It’s a boy, then?’
His words were so calm it stilled her, and as she looked up Shelly saw that he was smiling.
‘Congratulations.’
‘You mean that?’
‘Of course I do, Shelly. You’re going to have a beautiful little boy and you’re going to be a fabulous mum. Yes, he’s going to have some problems, need some extra care, but if ever there was a woman who could give a child that then it’s you. It might all seem a jumble now, but you’ll work it out.’
‘Do you really think so?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Ross said emphatically. ‘I know so. You and Neil will deal with this.’
‘What I said before, about Neil, I mean. I was just letting off a bit of steam. He’s upset, which is understandable. It’s hard for him too. All the dreams he had, we had, have just suddenly gone.’ She gave a small laugh, trying to lighten the loaded silence around them. ‘I think Neil had our baby pegged to be Prime Minister one day.’
‘What’s the population of Australia?’
Shelly had no idea where he was leading, no idea where he’d plucked that question from, but her mind whirred away from her problems for a millisecond as she struggled with her appalling general knowledge. ‘About twenty million, at least I think that’s what it is.’
‘The odds weren’t great, then.’
Shelly’s forehead creased as she tried to fathom where Ross was leading. ‘What on earth are you going on about?’
‘If you factor in the rising population, increased immigration, well, suffice it to say…’ His hand moved forward, gently reaching the soft swell of her stomach as Shelly stood smiling at his strange logic. ‘This baby was never going to be Prime Minster. But you can still have dreams for him, Shelly, still cherish his life.’ His hand was still there, she could feel the warmth spreading through her top. The baby was motionless, perhaps feeling the quiet confidence Ross so effortlessly imparted. If only over the awful past few days she had endured Neil could have said just one of the comforting words Ross had conveyed so easily,
‘You’d better get back.’ Her voice was strangely thick. All she wanted to do was lay her head on that chest, feel those strong arms around her, for just an ounce of his strength to somehow rub off on her. ‘And I’ve got to go.’
‘Not yet,’ Ross moaned. ‘I’ll get stuck with Tania. If you think Melissa was bad, just wait till you see how Tania’s behaving. I swear she’s wearing lipstick. I think she’s got a crush on me.’
‘She has.’ Shelly laughed. ‘So watch yourself.’ Pulling her bag over her shoulder, Shelly swallowed hard. ‘I really do have to go. I just popped in to say goodbye. I’ve got an appointment with Dr Forbes at two.’
‘I thought Dr Lim was your obstetrician.’
‘He is. This visit is for Neil. I know it’s not going to change anything, but he just wants another opinion.’
‘Come on, I’ll walk you out to your car and say hi to Neil. It would be nice for us both to put names to faces and maybe I can answer some of his questions. His mind must be working overtime.’
‘Neil’s at work.’ She saw a hint of a frown mar Ross’s near-perfect features and instantly jumped on the defensive. ‘He can’t take an afternoon off work every time I see a doctor, he’d never get anything done.’
‘Of course not.’
There was a tiny awkward moment as Shelly turned to go. What should she do, shake his hand? A casual wave as she got to the door? Ross answered the question before it had even formed in her mind. Pulling her towards him, he held her for a moment, her bump pressing against his toned abdomen, until he moved away just enough to place his hand on her swollen stomach. ‘Look after that mum of yours,’ Ross whispered to the babe beneath his hand. ‘She’s one in a million.’
A tiny kiss was aimed at her cheek but Shelly moved nervously, his lips grazing hers for less than a second, but it felt as if they were both moving in slow motion, every tiny movement magnified, the soft warmth of his mouth on hers as unexpected as it was welcome, and Shelley swallowed hard as he pulled away, biting back tears as he squeezed her shoulder in one final supportive gesture and then he was gone. Off to his party, off on his travels again, off to the outback to impart and absorb, a million miles away from Chisholm Hospital, from the beach and the world he’d become so much a part of in the six months he’d been back.
Her lips were burning from his briefest touch and Shelly shook her head as she walked, her speed increasing as she pushed the unwelcome stirrings from her mind.
Of course Ross Bodey was going to say the right thing, he was a doctor, for heaven’s sake! He’d just spent the last six months on a children’s ward, dealing with anxious parents and sick kids. Of course he knew how to handle her, that was his job. She was being unfair, comparing his reaction to Neil’s.
Neil was the one living it. Neil was the one whose life had changed for ever when they’d found out the news.
Still…
Starting her car, Shelly pulled off the handbrake and indicated to turn right, gliding into the afternoon traffic as she headed for her doctor’s appointment, for an afternoon of scans and blood tests, an afternoon of being prodded and poked in a futile attempt to obtain a different version. A little piece of news that might brighten Neil’s day. But no amounts of scans, no amount of technology or statistics were going to change the outcome. Their baby was handicapped, and no amount of wishing was going to change that fact.
But she could still have dreams for him.
Ross’s words washed over her, a soothing interlude in an awful day. And in the weeks and months that followed they comforted her with increasing regularity, a life raft to cling to in the turbulent times that followed.
She could still have dreams for her son.
CHAPTER ONE (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab)
‘SORRY, darling.’ Marlene put down her basket on the hall floor and haphazardly deposited a kiss on Shelly’s cheek. ‘The match went on for ever.’
Shelly gave her mother an easy smile to show there was no harm done. ‘I’ve got plenty of time before my shift starts. Is Dad still there?’
‘Of course,’ Marlene replied crisply, with a slight edge to her voice. ‘This twilight tennis competition is supposed to be a combined effort for the two of us to get fit, yet your father undoes all of the hard work in one fell swoop. He’s in the clubhouse guzzling beers and eating lamingtons as I speak. Goodness, Shelly,’ Marlene said, finally looking at her daughter properly for the first time since she’d arrived. ‘You look nice—very nice, in fact! What have you done to your hair?’
‘I just put a bit of mousse in it in when I washed it,’ Shelly answered vaguely as Marlene gave her a rather sceptical look.
‘I’ll have to try some. Where’s Matthew?’
‘Asleep.’ Shelly rolled her eyes. ‘At long last. But I think this new routine is finally starting to work. I gave him his bath at seven, read his blessed book five times and now he’s out like a light.’
‘Oh, really?’ Marlene’s face broke into a wide grin and she gestured behind Shelly. ‘So who’s this, then?’
‘Matthew,’ Shelly wailed. ‘You’re supposed to be asleep.’
Holding up his dog-eared book, Matthew’s podgy little face broke into a wide and very engaging smile, instantly dousing Shelly’s irritation. ‘Wun, wun,’ he begged.
‘No more run, run,’ Shelly corrected, smiling despite herself. ‘The little gingerbread man is fast asleep now and so should you be.’
‘Wun, wun.’ Matthew insisted, his grin widening as he saw Marlene. ‘Nanny.’
‘Yes, darling.’ Marlene scooped her grandson into her arms. ‘Nanny’s looking after you tonight while Mummy goes to work.’ Marlene pulled Matthew closer, whispering loudly in his ear so that Shelly could hear. ‘Or at least that’s where she says she’s going, but I’ve never seen Mummy looking quite so stunning for a shift on the children’s ward!’
‘Mum,’ Shelly moaned. ‘Don’t talk like that—you’ll confuse him.’
‘I’m just teasing,’ Marlene soothed, turning her attention back to Matthew. ‘Now, give Mummy a big kiss goodnight and we’ll wave goodbye to her, then how about we go and see if there’s any nice biscuits in the cupboard?’
‘Mum.’ Shelly’s voice had a warning note to it which Marlene dismissed with a wave of her hand.
‘The biscuits are for me, darling. Why should your father be the only one ruining his waistline? I’m going to have a nice cuppa then I’ll read Matthew his story. You go off to work. Don’t worry about us two, we’ll be fine.’
‘I know,’ Shelly admitted, giving Marlene a quick kiss before lingering a while longer with Matthew’s. ‘Love you, Matthew.’ He smelt of baby soap and lotion and as she kissed him gently Shelly wondered, not for the first time, how she could bear to go to work and leave him. Reluctantly Shelly picked up her bag and, turning in the doorway, she forced a cheerful wave. ‘If one of those biscuits does happen to find its way to Matthew…’
‘I know,’ Marlene sighed. ‘Make sure I brush his teeth.’ Holding up one of Matthew’s hands, she guided him into a wave as Shelly opened the car door, the tempting scent of a neighbour’s barbeque wafting over the fence. Even though it was nudging eight-thirty, it was still so light Shelly wouldn’t even need to put on her headlights, and it would have been so tempting not to go, to curl up on the sofa with Matthew and read him his beloved book.
Not that Matthew would thank her for it, Shelly mused as she turned onto the freeway and headed towards the hospital, Matthew would be having the time of his little life right now, gorging on biscuits and dancing around the lounge with his eccentric grandmother, who would end in one night the routine Shelly had been so painfully attempting to implement.
‘Who are you trying to kid?’ Shelly mumbled, rallying slightly as she caught sight of herself in the rearview mirror, her pale eyelashes gone for ever, or at least the next couple of months, thanks to this afternoon’s tint. As tempting as a cuddle on the sofa with Matthew might be, tonight, for the first time in ages, she couldn’t wait to get to work. Putting her foot down slightly, Shelly felt a tremble of excitement somewhere in the pit of her stomach as the signs for the hospital loomed ever closer, the brightly lit building coming into view, the hub of staff outside Emergency indicating something serious was on its way in. A security guard indicated for Shelly to clear the entrance road. Pulling over, she sat in her car patiently waiting as an ambulance flew past, its flashing blue lights adding to the theatre of it all, watching as the emergency staff leapt forward to greet it. Shelly felt the bubble of excitement in her stomach rapidly expand.
Chisholm Hospital had never looked so exciting!
‘Thank goodness you’re on tonight, Shelly.’ Melissa patted the seat beside her at the nurses’ station. ‘I’ve had agency staff with me every night this week—it will be nice to have someone who actually knows the place.’
‘You smell nice.’ Turning, she smiled at Shelly who sat blushing as red as her hair. ‘You look lovely too—been to the hairdressers?’
‘No,’ Shelly lied. ‘You’re just used to seeing me coming on an early shift at seven in the morning.’
‘Hmm.’ Melissa looked at her knowingly but didn’t push further. ‘So, how many nights are you down for?’
‘You’re stuck with me for a month.’ Shelly rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve been avoiding it for ages so it had to catch up with me sooner or later. Tania rang me at home this morning and told me you were tearing your hair out.’
‘I was and I know it’s probably the last thing you need right now, but I for one am glad you said yes to a stint on nights.’
‘I really didn’t have any choice.’ Shelly shrugged. ‘There’s been a big fat zero beside my name where night shifts have been concerned recently. Bring back the old days, I can’t stand internal rotation.’
‘Sounds painful!’
Shelly let out a gurgle of laughter and stood up delightedly. ‘Ross!’
‘The one and only.’
‘Only you could find a sexual connotation with the nursing roster! So how are you finding it? Back in civilisation after all this time?’
‘I’ve had a very civilised couple of years, thank you very much,’ Ross corrected, wagging his finger playfully. ‘There’s a bit more to the outback than tents and billy tea but, yes, it’s good to be back, I think.’
‘You think?’ Shelly questioned with a grin. ‘I would have thought they’d be treating you gently on your first day back.’ She was blushing to her toenails now, shamefully aware that the perfume, the hairdresser’s, even the shaved legs and smooth bikini line had been done entirely for the benefit of this quick delicious moment at handover, to show Ross somehow that she hadn’t completely let herself go just because she’d had a baby. There was nothing like an old friend reappearing after a prolonged absence to force a critical look in the mirror, and now that the vague chance she’d catch Ross on his way off duty had materialised, Shelly was taken back by the rush of emotion that had engulfed her.
Ross Bodey was back in town, and he looked absolutely divine, his blond hair practically white now, courtesy of the hot Australian sun, and his face brown and smooth, accentuating the impossibly blue eyes.
‘I’ve only just set foot in the place.’ Ross grimaced. ‘Luke Martin is off sick so they rang me at the crack of dawn this morning to tell me I’m going to be stuck on nights for the next week, so there goes my social life. How about you?’
For a second Shelly’s eyes flickered to Melissa who sat innocently staring at the whiteboard, jotting down the names of the children and babies under the care of the ward that night. ‘I don’t have a social life, Ross. I’ve got a son to think of now. Wine bars and night-clubs are but a distant memory these days.’
‘I meant what shift are you on?’
‘Nights.’ Shelly had to forcibly remove the grin from her face and remember she was supposed to be disgruntled about the fact.
‘So we’re stuck with each other?’ Ross wasn’t even pretending to look disgruntled. He was grinning from ear to ear, teasing her with his smile.
‘It looks that way.’
‘So you don’t have a social life.’ Smiling, he tutted a few times. ‘Haven’t you heard of babysitters?’
‘Not with the tantrums my son’s been throwing lately. I wouldn’t inflict that temper on anyone just yet.’
Ross just laughed. ‘So Matthew’s hitting the terrible twos with a vengeance?’
‘That’s an understatement.’ Shelly’s voice stayed light, her grin stayed put, but her mind was whirring as the beginning of a frown puckered her forehead. ‘How did you know his name?’
Ross shrugged. ‘Melissa told me. So who’s looking after him tonight?’
Her frown deepened. Melissa had obviously told Ross a bit more than Matthew’s name. ‘My parents are, they’ve been really good. You know about Neil and me, then?’
Ross nodded. Moving away from the desk slightly, they found their own private space in the corridor, slipping so easily back into their ways of old. ‘It can’t have been easy for you.’
Shelly gave a slightly brittle laugh. ‘That’s an understatement.’
Ross didn’t comment at first, the silence around them building as Shelly stood there wondering how much to tell, scuffing the highly polished floor with her rubber soles and leaving little black marks that would have the cleaners in hysterics in the morning.
‘Neil told me he was leaving us the day I was due to be discharged from hospital, the day I was supposed to bring Matthew home.’ Her voice was shaky and she couldn’t even look up as she recounted her story, sure the inevitable pity she was so tired of seeing in people’s eyes would send her into floods of tears. ‘He said he couldn’t cope with a handicapped child, that it just wasn’t what he was cut out for.’
‘Then you’re better off without him.’
Shelly looked up with a start. There was no pity in his voice or in his gorgeous blue eyes, just the cool sound of reason.
‘So everyone keeps telling me,’ Shelly sighed. ‘And they’re all probably right. But is it better for Matthew? Surely he needs a father?’
‘Not that sort,’ Ross said quickly, his voice strangely flip, a defiant jut to his chin. Suddenly he looked older than twenty-seven. He certainly didn’t look like the carefree backpacker she’d built in her mind. He looked every bit the man he was. ‘Children need to feel loved, safe and wanted, which are the three things Neil can’t give him, so if you ask me, Matthew’s better off without him. You, too, so I’m not going to make small-talk, passing on my condolences about the demise of your marriage when your divorce obviously agrees with you. You look the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time.’
‘I am,’ Shelly said slowly, the words a revelation even to herself. The divorce had hurt, but her grief had been expended long ago. The tears she cried now when she thought about the end of her marriage weren’t for herself and what she’d lost but for her little boy, a two-year-old child whose father simply didn’t want to know. Yet for all the angst, for all the struggle, both financially and emotionally, for all the responsibility of being a single parent, for the first time in over two years Shelly actually realised just how much she had moved on.
That she was finally making it.
Not happy exactly, but definitely getting there.
As Melissa stood up Shelly picked up her notepad. ‘I’d better go and get the handover. I’ll catch up with you later.’
‘No doubt about that.’
Her cheeks were burning as she took handover, her mind flitting as she desperately tried to concentrate, tried to ask intelligent questions and make sure she had all the drip rates and drugs due diligently written down in her usual neat handwriting as Annie, the sister in charge of the late shift, told the night staff about the patients on the ward. But there was no chance of that. Her mind was saturated with Ross, going over and over their brief but long-awaited exchange. Still, when Annie gave the details of the latest admission, Shelly’s ears pricked up and all thought of Ross flew out of the window, momentarily at least.
‘We’ve got a new patient direct from Theatre—Angus Marshall, twenty months old with a spiral fracture of the femur.’
Shelly’s eyes shot up as Annie continued. A spiral fracture in a child was an injury that sounded alarm bells and Shelly’s were ringing, but Annie quickly shook her head to dispel any worries.
‘The staff in Emergency are happy with the story—they don’t think it’s a non-accidental injury. Apparently he’s just started walking so the injury could have happened when he fell.’
‘Could have?’ Shelly questioned, knowing that injuries like that were sometimes caused by an abusive parent.
‘They’re not sure how it happened, there’s a big sister and a new baby at home so it’s obviously a busy house. Apparently Angus was very grouchy and reluctant to weight-bear and his mum noticed the swelling so she took him to their GP who sent them over to us. They’re nice people, the child’s beautifully looked after.’
‘That doesn’t mean anything.’ Melissa’s stern voice matched Shelly’s thoughts exactly.
‘I’m going on what I’ve been told. They’ve been interviewed extensively by Dr Khan down in Emergency and he’s satisfied that it was a simple accident, so it’s not up to us to go jumping to conclusions.’
‘Nobody’s jumping,’ Shelly said in a calm voice, trying to diffuse the undercurrents. ‘But with an injury like that, child abuse has to be considered.’
‘Which it has been,’ Annie answered stiffly. ‘And it’s been discounted.’
‘So, how many beds does that leave us with?’ Shelly asked when she realised the discussion was going nowhere.
‘One bed and two cots,’ Annie said, closing the folder she was reading from. ‘But Emergency just rang and they’re probably going to be sending up a three-month-old boy with bronchiolitis, which will leave you with just the one cot.’
‘Probably?’ Shelly checked.
‘He’s quite sick, they’re still deciding whether or not to transfer him to the Children’s Hospital in case he needs an ICU cot as our intensive-care beds are all taken. Ross is just heading off down there to see him.’
‘Well, I hope Ross takes into account there’s only three night staff on and Nicola’s only a grad,’ Melissa said with a warning note to her voice that had Annie again ducking for cover. Melissa was a straight talker and didn’t care who got hurt along the way. Feelings didn’t come in to it when she was dealing with her beloved babies. ‘It’s not like on days where staff are falling over themselves. One critical baby is bad enough but there’s a couple more here that could go downhill quickly.’
‘Ross knows all that,’ Annie said defensively. ‘But this baby has been down in Emergency for eighteen hours now, and there’s hardly a paediatric intensive care cot left in Melbourne, so someone’s going to have to take him. Anyway, Emergency just had a big multi-trauma come in and they need to start moving some of the patients.’
‘Well, maybe you should have thought of that earlier,’ Melissa carried on, without even blinking. ‘You know as well as I do that we’re going to get this baby. He should have been admitted and settled by now while there were enough staff to do it comfortably, not left till Emergency’s bursting at the seams and there’s no choice but to move him.’ And without another word she headed out onto the ward, leaving the rest of the staff chewing their lips and rolling their eyes.
‘Good luck with her tonight,’ Annie said with a grimace. ‘She’s in a right old mood.’
‘I don’t blame her,’ Shelly said quickly, and to the other staff’s obvious surprise. ‘That baby should have been admitted ages ago, not just left for the night staff.’
Minor bickers like this were uncomfortable but commonplace on a busy ward. Even though Shelly hadn’t done a stint on nights for ages she knew how busy it was, and also knew that as much fun as Annie was to work with she was also very good at putting things off for the next shift to deal with. Melissa had been right to say something and Shelly was only too happy in this instance to defend her. As the day staff departed Shelly gave a comforting smile to a nervous-looking Nicola.
‘When Melissa said you were “only a grad” she wasn’t aiming it at you personally, just pointing out the staff levels,’ Shelly said, moving straight to the point.
‘I know that. It’s just that she seems so fierce. I know I haven’t worked with Melissa but I’ve seen her in handover and it’s enough to put anyone off. I’ve been dreading coming on nights.’
‘You haven’t worked with Melissa yet,’ Shelly pointed out. ‘You’ve only seen her in here. She’s nothing like that out there.’ Shelly gestured to the ward and gave Shelly a reassuring smile. ‘Any bad feeling stays in the handover room, that’s an important rule on the children’s ward. The patients pick up on bad vibes otherwise. Anyway Melissa’s as soft as butter really. Once the day staff are gone you’ll see that for yourself. As fierce as she can be, Melissa’s also the best nurse here, you can learn a lot from her. There’s nothing about sick children Melissa doesn’t know. She’s been doing this job for more than thirty years now, so if there’s anything you’re worried about don’t sit on it, just tell her, OK?’
‘OK.’ Nicola nodded but Shelly could see the poor girl was still terrified.
‘It will be fine, you’ll see.’
It was fine. The obs and drug round went smoothly. Even the raucous older children, some bored from weeks in traction, seemed fairly settled, exhausted from too many visitors and computer games and a day spent good-naturedly teasing the nurses.
Melissa was in charge so she worked both sides, overseeing all the patients and keeping a watchful eye on Nicola as she settled the children and did the late round. Shelly took the cots, which consisted of eight airy rooms all surrounded by glass, which meant at any given time she had an uninterrupted view of her patients but they were all effectively isolated so as not to spread any infections. Six were occupied and Shelly checked each child carefully, smiling to herself as she did so, taking in the little bottoms sticking up in the air, thumbs tucked into mouths, the babies sleeping on blissfully as Shelly watched over them. A couple of the cheekier babies had extensions on their cots to stop them climbing out, but for now they all looked like cute little angels.
Angus was sleeping and Shelly roused him gently, carefully checking his observations and the little toes sticking out of the damp plaster, making sure the circulation to his foot was adequate. Annie was right, Shelly thought as she flicked on the cot light and checked him more closely, Angus was beautifully kept—his little nails short and clean, his hair soft and shiny, no rashes or bruises, nothing to indicate he was anything other than loved and cherished.
‘Is he all right?’ Mrs Marshall’s anxious face appeared at the end of the cot. ‘I was just getting a coffee.’
‘He’s fine,’ Shelly reassured her. ‘He’ll probably sleep soundly for the next couple of hours. He was given a strong painkiller so he’s quite comfortable. Would you like me to get you a camp bed? We can set it up beside the cot.’
Mrs Marshall shook her head. ‘Thanks, but no. The day nurse, Annie I think her name was, already offered, but I’m going to go home. I’ve got the other two to sort out and it’s been an exhausting day.’
‘I’m sure it has. We can always ring you if there are any problems, if he gets too distressed,’ Shelly said.
‘Of course.’ Mrs Marshall gave a tired smile. ‘But he normally sleeps right through.’ The mobile telephone ringing in her bag made them both jump and Shelly waited patiently as Mrs Marshall took the call.
‘That was my husband, Doug. He’s come to pick me up.’ Walking over to her son, she gave him a tender kiss and stroked his little lock of hair. Shelly knew she should mention that mobiles were supposed to be turned off on the ward, given her little lecture about the interference they could cause with the equipment, but she didn’t. Trying to put herself in Mrs Marshall’s place for a moment, she figured it could wait for the morning.
Shelly had always been a quick worker and was grateful for the chance to make up a few bottles for when the babies inevitably awoke and to prepare some jugs of boiled water and change the sterilising solutions. Happy she was on top of things, Shelly set up an oxygen tent for the inevitable new admission and prepared the sterilising equipment and nurses’ gowns along with some literature on bronchiolitis for the undoubtedly anxious parents.
‘How’s it going?’ Melissa popped her head in the darkened room and smiled as she saw Shelly setting up the room. ‘Finally, someone who doesn’t have to be told! How are they all?’
‘Settled. I’ve put the new admission in here so it’s nearer the nurses’ station, but cot six needs an eye kept on—she’s still a bit wheezy even after her nebuliser. Cots two and four are due for a feed at eleven so I’ve left their obs till then. Their mums aren’t staying, so if they wake up at the same time I might need you or Nicola to feed one of them—their bottles are all ready.’
‘Good.’
‘How’s Angus?’
‘Fine.’
‘And the mother?’
‘She’s fine too, she’s gone home.’
Melissa shot her a shrewd look. ‘So what’s the problem?’
‘I don’t know,’ Shelly admitted. ‘I know lots of mums go home, that it doesn’t mean anything at all…’
‘Just that you wouldn’t?’
‘I’ve only got one child.’ Shelly flicked her eyes down to her handover notes. ‘Mrs Marshall’s got three and one of them is a young baby. She might be breast-feeding so it’s totally understandable that she had to go home.’
‘So why aren’t you convinced?’
Shelly shrugged. ‘Her husband rang her from the ambulance bay. Surely he’d want to pop up and see Angus and say goodnight?’
‘Maybe he’s got the other two asleep in the back of the car,’ Melissa pointed out. ‘Imagine if Security found two children unattended in the car park. The social workers would have a field day!’
Melissa was right, of course. There was a perfectly reasonable explanation and Shelly gave her head a small shake, determined to concentrate on the facts. But she’d misjudged Melissa, the conversation wasn’t over yet.
‘Just keep your eyes and ears open. I’m not entirely happy myself.’ For a moment their gazes lingered on the sleeping toddler, both women deep in their own thoughts for a moment. ‘Come and have a cuppa before they wake up,’ Melissa said finally with forced cheerfulness. ‘I’ll go and put the kettle on.’
‘Sounds marvellous.’
‘Wait till you taste the cake I’ve made. Ross is already champing at the bit.’
‘Melissa?’ Shelly called as Melissa made her way out of the ward. ‘Just what did you say to Ross exactly?’
‘That I’d baked a cake!’ Melissa gave Shelly a quizzical look as if she’d gone completely mad!
‘I’m not talking about the cake, Melissa.’ Shelly took a deep breath. She didn’t want to ruffle any feathers but the fact Melissa had taken it on herself to tell Ross so much about Shelly’s personal life needed addressing—the very last thing she needed was Melissa playing Cupid. Ross Bodey had enough women after him without thinking he had Shelly on his list of swooning fans. ‘Ross knows Matthew’s name, he seems to know all about the divorce, I just wondered how.’
‘I might have said something…’ Melissa shrugged.
‘You mean you gave him a life update on me the second he entered the ward. Why?’
‘I didn’t,’ Melissa said quickly. ‘I hadn’t laid eyes on Ross until I saw him when I was with you, honestly,’ she insisted as Shelly gave her a disbelieving look. ‘Believe it or not, as riveting as your life might seem to you, it’s not my favourite topic of conversation. Ross and I have kept in touch while he’s been away, I probably said a few things then in passing.’
‘Oh.’ Thankfully the room was in semi-darkness and Melissa couldn’t see the blush flaming on her cheeks, but with the heat it was radiating Shelly was sure she must be able to feel it winging its way across the quiet room.
‘He’s rung a few times at night when he’s needed something looked up or wanted a bit of advice on a patient. He’s a good doctor is Ross, not too up himself to ask a nurse for advice, and when he rang we’d have a chat. He’d ask what the gossip was, who was seeing who, who was pregnant, who was leaving, that type of thing. We didn’t just talk about you, Shelly.’
Suitably chastised, Shelly wished the ground would swallow her up whole.
‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled. ‘I was just taken back that he knew so much about everything.’
‘That’s Ross for you.’ Melissa shrugged. ‘You know he loves all the gossip.’
‘Sure.’ Fiddling with the oxygen tubes, Shelly kept her voice even. ‘Go on, then, get the kettle on, I’ll finish up in here.’
Once alone, Shelly sank onto the camp bed she had made up for the baby’s mother. Sitting perched on the end, she buried her burning cheeks in her hand, trying for the life of her to fathom why Ross keeping in touch with Melissa had upset her. Why was she feeling like a jealous schoolgirl all of a sudden?
‘Blast,’ she muttered, then flicked her eyes open to check the coast was still clear. As if Ross would be that interested in her marriage problems. As if Melissa was going to rush to fill him in on the latest saga.
She really wasn’t that important.
It had just been a casual chat, a snippet of gossip Melissa had imparted to a bored doctor stuck in the middle of nowhere, eager for a chat, happy to while away the lonely hours on call with an old friend. She should have been relieved, relieved that Melissa hadn’t embarrassed her, that she hadn’t bent his ear about the divorce with a nudge and a wink and a load of innuendo.
But…
The green-eyed monster was rearing its ugly head again.
Why hadn’t Ross rung her? Why had he kept in touch with Melissa over the last few years?
And why did it matter so much?
‘Damn,’ Shelly said more strongly, the words whistling through her gritted teeth as she forced herself to take a deep steadying breath as realisation finally hit.
The hairdresser’s, the perfume, the long overdue meeting with her razor hadn’t been a coincidence. Hadn’t even been a vague attempt to show an old friend she hadn’t completely let herself go.
Of all the stupid things to go and do…
Of all the ridiculous, ludicrous things she had done in her time, this one certainly took the biscuit.
Developing a king-size crush on a certain Ross Bodey was the last thing Shelly needed to deal with. Her cheeks scorched with embarrassment at the thought of him finding out, that the dependable, organised Shelly, his on-duty friend and confidante, had succumbed like legions of others to his blue-eyed charm.
He was miles out of her league, young free and single, not just a world away but an entire galaxy from Shelly’s routine existence, and it would serve her well to remember the fact.
Ross Bodey was way out of bounds.
CHAPTER TWO (#u0dd62d50-f069-5099-a649-03b4dac81cab)
PULLING up a chair at the nurses’ station, Shelly smiled at a now much happier Nicola.
‘She’s great, isn’t she?’ Nicola said, happily munching into a huge slab of walnut cake.
‘Told you. Melissa’s bark is far worse than her bite. Once the day staff are gone she relaxes—and feeds us,’ Shelly added, helping herself to a generous slice.
‘Save some for me!’ Ross perched on the edge of the desk, depositing a mountain of files and X-rays as he did so.
‘How’s the baby in Emergency?’
‘Heading this way,’ Ross sighed. ‘He’s pretty sick but he’s holding his own at the moment. The children’s hospital has got an ICU cot but not a general one, whereas we’ve got a general but no ICU. I can’t believe I’d managed to forget the constant battle with the bed state.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Looks like we’re in for a long night. Hopefully Melissa will go easy on me, I didn’t really have any choice but to admit him. Emergency’s steaming down there, it’s no place for a sick baby.’
‘I agree.’ Melissa, coming up behind Ross, caused him to jump. ‘I don’t mind being busy, Ross, it’s just the general thoughtlessness that annoys me. Annie should have had him up here hours ago. Instead, we’ve got a sick baby to assess and an overwrought mum to deal with in the middle of the night. A little bit of foresight wouldn’t have gone amiss.’
Ross nodded his head in agreement. ‘Right, what have you got for me? I’d better clear the pile before Kane gets here. Who knows when I’ll find time otherwise?’
‘Just a couple of IV orders that need updating, and I think Shelly wants some antibiotics written up for cot five—his blood culture results are back.’
Ross nodded. ‘Yeah, the lab just paged me.’ One hand tapped away on the computer as he brought up the results. ‘This is the life,’ he sighed. ‘Pathologists on call, X-Ray just a stone’s throw away.’
‘I thought you said it was civilised where you were,’ Shelly teased, desperately trying to resume normal services despite her internal bombshell.
‘It was. The clinic I worked in at Tennagarrah was comparable to a luxury caravan. All the basics were there but you weren’t exactly spoilt for choice and you had to work for everything. This in comparison is a five-star hotel.’ With an exaggerated whoop of delight he jumped down and opened the drug fridge. ‘And just look at the mini-bar, where do I start? Bactrim, flucloxacillin, gentamicin, vancomycin. What can I get you, Sister?’
Shelly peered at the monitor in front of her, reading the blood results and the antibiotic sensitivities. ‘Well, a large dose of flucloxacillin would hit the spot.’
‘Coming right up.
‘Anything else I can get you?’ Ross asked, carrying on the joke as he pulled the vial of antibiotic out of the fridge. ‘Have you had a look at the room service menu yet?’
‘This will do just fine.’ Picking up her cake, Shelly effectively ended the playful conversation. Images of five-star hotels and bubbling spas and four-poster beds weren’t exactly doing wonders for her blood pressure, and the sight of the porter wheeling in the gurney carrying the baby provided a very welcome diversion.
‘Kane Anderson,’ the emergency nurse informed them as Shelly pulled down the cot side and greeted Kane’s mum with a warm smile. ‘He’s been down in Emergency so long he’s part of the furniture now. This is his mum, Angela.’
‘Hi, Angela, we’re just going to get Kane into the cot and then I’ll get the handover from Emergency. Once that’s done I’ll come and settle you both in.’ Gently she lifted the infant over, handling him deftly and with minimum fuss so as to avoid any unnecessary exertion.
Although the handover was important and the emergency nurse was obviously in a rush to get back to her department, Shelly took a moment or two to explain how the oxygen tent worked, realising how alarming it must look to Angela.
‘This monitor tells us the oxygen concentration in the tent, it’s very safe.’
‘He can’t suffocate?’ Angela checked.
‘Definitely not,’ Shelly said firmly. ‘If the level drops in the tent the alarm goes off, and this little probe I’ve attached to his foot tells us Kane’s own oxygen levels. I’ll be back in a couple of moments. I’m just outside but if you’re worried at all just bang on the window or call.’
‘She’s being a bit difficult,’ the emergency nurse started.
‘No doubt because she’s worried and exhausted,’ Shelly said quickly, refusing to get drawn into a discussion on the mother’s emotional state, preferring to make her own observations. ‘And eighteen hours in Emergency wouldn’t exactly have helped matters. What’s the story with the baby?’
The story wasn’t very good. Three days of a worsening cough and struggling to feed, two different types of antibiotics from the local GP and a long wait in Emergency. ‘His respiration rate is still very high and his heart rate’s elevated. He’s very grizzly, which isn’t helping his breathing, and he just won’t settle.’
‘Any wet nappies?’ Shelly asked, flicking through the obs chart.
‘Three. He was moderately dehydrated when he came to us but the IV fluids have kicked in now. He’s still very sick, though.’
Shelly nodded in agreement. Her brief assessment of Kane had done nothing to reassure her. He was working hard with each rapid breath, using his stomach muscles, his tiny nostrils flaring, all dangerous signs. ‘I’ll get Ross to have another look at him,’ Shelly concluded, anxious to get back to her small charge. ‘Thanks for that.’
Ross was already at the cot side, rubbing his stethoscope between his hands to warm it before placing it gently on the baby’s rapidly moving chest as Angela stood anxiously wringing her hands, every bleep of the monitors making her jump slightly, every tiny jerking movement Kane made causing her to step forward anxiously, bombarding Ross with questions as he tried to listen to the baby’s breathing.
‘He’s hungry,’ Angela said the second Shelly entered. ‘The sister in Emergency said he might be able to have a bottle once he got up to the ward.’
Pulling the stethoscope out of his ears, Ross straightened, carefully zipping up the oxygen tent and pulling up the cot side. ‘He can’t have a bottle at the moment, Angela, he’s too exhausted to feed.’
‘But he isn’t settling.’
Shelly could hear the slightly hysterical note creeping into Angela’s voice and stood back quietly as she carried on with her outburst.
‘They said they were going to put a tube down his nose and give him the milk that way, but they haven’t even done that. No one seems to be doing anything. He’s not even on any antibiotics!’
‘Look, why don’t you sit down for a minute?’ Ross started, but his well-meant words only inflamed Angela further.
‘I don’t want to sit down,’ she shouted. ‘I want someone to tell me what’s being done for my baby.’
‘I know you’re upset—’ Shelly started.
‘Oh, what would you know?’ Angela snapped, turning her fury on Shelly, her face livid.
‘That you’re exhausted, and terrified?’ Shelly ventured, her stance relaxed, her voice calm and sympathetic. ‘That you’ve probably had more people offering their opinions and telling you what might be, could be, should be done than you can even count?’
Mistrusting eyes finally made contact and Angela gave a grudging nod.
‘Well, you’re on the children’s ward now, and Ross is the doctor and Melissa and I are the nurses looking after you and your son tonight. If you’ll let us, we can tell you what we’re going to be doing, but shouting and getting upset is only going to unsettle Kane—can you see that?’
The nod Angela gave wasn’t so grudging this time, more sheepish, and Shelly felt her heart go out to the other woman as she burst into noisy tears. ‘I’m sorry, it’s not you, I’m just so scared, he keeps getting worse.’
‘He’s been sick for a few days, hasn’t he?’ Shelly asked gently.
‘Since the weekend. I thought it was just a cold at first then he got this cough and then he started wheezing. I haven’t slept for the last two nights.’
‘Kane has bronchiolitis,’ Ross broke in, gently taking Angela’s arm and guiding her to a chair before pulling one up for himself. ‘It’s a respiratory virus that can be particularity nasty in young babies. Now, because it’s a virus antibiotics aren’t going to do any good, none at all,’ he emphasised as Angela opened her mouth to argue. ‘What Kane needs at the moment is what we call supportive care. That means he needs to be kept warm and rested, with lots of oxygen to help him breathe and fluids through a drip to keep him hydrated. All of this we’re doing for him, and this in turn gives his body a chance to concentrate on fighting the virus. If we give him a bottle now he wouldn’t be able to cope with it, he simply hasn’t got enough energy to feed. If we give him one at this stage he could become a very sick little boy indeed.’
‘What about the tube they were talking about?’ Angela asked hopefully, her mind still focussed on her baby getting fed, but Ross firmly shook his head.
‘The tube we would pass is very small and fine, but it would still upset him while we passed it and I don’t want to cause him any more distress, that’s why I’m going to try and not to do any blood tests or anything that might upset him, for now we just want him to rest. Kane’s getting what he needs from the drip and we can give him a dummy to settle him.’
‘He keeps spitting it out.’ Angela’s voice was rising again, her shredded nerves ready to snap at any moment, but Ross carried on chatting, his voice amicable and easy.
‘We can soon fix that.’
‘How?’ Angela snapped.
‘Glycerine.’ Ross gave an easy shrug as Angela immediately shook her head.
‘You’re not supposed to put anything on their dummies, it says so in all the books. The child health nurse said—’
‘Kane’s very sick,’ Ross interrupted gently. ‘He needs to rest, and if a smear of glycerine on his dummy achieves that, then it’s merited.’
‘Ross.’ Shelly gave him a wide-eyed look and Ross frowned slightly at the interruption. ‘Can I have a quick word, please?’
‘What’s up, Shelly?’ Following her outside, there was a slight impatience to Ross’s stance. ‘I’m trying to calm the mother. Pulling me outside isn’t really helping.’
‘I know that,’ Shelly responded. ‘But putting anything on the babies’ dummies really is frowned on. Tania will have a fit…’
‘Tania isn’t here,’ Ross pointed out. ‘And if she was I’d tell her what I’m about to tell you. That baby’s sick—any further slide in his condition and he’ll be on a ventilator in intensive care. Now, given this hospital hasn’t even got an intensive-care cot, that will mean sending him and Angela for a ten-minute jaunt in a helicopter. Now, if a bit of glycerine on a dummy can prevent that, I’m all for it.’
‘But, Ross.’ Shelly pulled at his sleeve as he turned to go, the contact tiny but enough to throw her, the sleeve of his white coat new and crisp, the solid bulge of his forearm, even the scent of his aftershave wafting over as he turned to go, all enough to distract her. Shelly fumbled to finish her argument.
‘I know it seems petty, but the department has strict guidelines on this. The dental damage—’
‘Shelly.’ Ross’s voice was quiet, but his words were very clear as he spoke, his eyes looking right into hers, unblinking, unwavering. ‘Let’s get this little guy through tonight, huh? Lose this battle and tooth decay will be something Angela can only dream about.’
Shelly’s eyes were wide with surprise as Ross turned and went back to Kane. His words made sense, good sense, and in truth Shelly felt ridiculous arguing about such a tiny detail, but rules were rules…But it wasn’t Ross’s little lecture that had left her reeling.
The few years in the bush had changed him. That easygoing, eager-to-please guy was gone, and in his place, just as gorgeous, just as stunning, was a rather more confident version, a man who knew what he wanted, and would make sure he got it.
Heading to the treatment room, Shelly took a while to find the little-used jar.
‘The contraband’s arrived,’ Ross said dryly as Shelly joined him at the bedside, Angela looking on anxiously, still dubious that it would work.
‘It’s just while he’s sick,’ Shelly said confidently, noting the tiny smile of appreciation on the edge of Ross’s lips as she put aside her own misgivings and beckoned for Angela to come closer. ‘What’s more, it’s something you can do for Kane to help him settle.’
Her words hit the mark. As Angela took the dummy, Shelly went into greater detail, showing Angela how to open the tent, how she could slip her hands in and even put her head in the cot to cuddle and speak to her child. Thankfully the glycerine worked and after a few goes baby Kane finally took his dummy. With the tent delivering a high dose of concentrated oxygen, he lay back exhausted, his little arms and legs flopping outwards like a washed-up frog as he drifted into a spent sleep.
‘How’s he doing?’ Melissa’s knowledgeable eyes scanned the monitors and baby in a moment.
‘He’s asleep, his saturations are ninety-two on thirty-five per cent oxygen.’
‘Turn it up to forty per cent,’ Melissa said after a moment’s thought. ‘Let’s give him as much help as we can.’
Ross nodded his approval as Shelly fiddled with the flow meter.
‘Come and have a cup of coffee,’ Melissa offered to Angela.
‘I’d rather not leave him. Can I have it in here?’
‘Sorry, but the last thing you or the staff will be thinking of if Kane gets worse suddenly is a hot cup of coffee balanced on the locker.’
‘Fair enough.’ Angela was positively meek now, but even Shelly thought Ross was pushing things with what he said next.
‘Go and have a coffee.’ Ross’s voice was assured. ‘And then come back and have a lie-down.’
‘I’m not sleeping,’ Angela flared. ‘How can I sleep when he’s this sick? What if he gets worse?’
‘He probably is going to get a bit worse.’ Ross’s eyes held Angela’s terrified ones. ‘And then he’s going to start getting better, and when he does he’s going to have you running in circles, feeding him, amusing him, spoiling him rotten…’ He gave a tiny smile and to Shelly’s amazement Angela gave a reluctant one back. ‘You need some rest, you need to try and trust us to look after your baby, and you’re going to be right next to him.’ He gestured to the camp bed, his eyes never leaving Angela’s face. ‘And if anything happens, we’ll wake you.
‘I promise,’ he added.
‘You’ve got the A team on tonight,’ Melissa broke in, her brisk, efficient voice such a contrast to Ross’s calm one, but somehow the balance worked. ‘Your baby’s in good hands. Now, come and have a coffee with me while we go through the admission forms. I need to know his little ways, what formula he has, how you generally settle him, that type of thing.’ Technically the job was Shelly’s, she was looking after cots tonight so the admission was hers, but Shelly was more than happy to defer to Melissa. They were a team and Melissa was what Angela needed right now—someone a touch more authoritative, less close in age, someone to lean on.
‘She’ll be right now,’ Ross said quietly as Melissa led Angela out. ‘That’s why I wanted to just get them up here. The poor woman was beside herself down in Emergency. A slice of Melissa’s cake and a bit of a rest and she’ll be a new woman.’
He was right, of course. Ross was always right when it came to dealing with women, Shelly mused, fiddling again with the flow meter to get the concentration right now that the cot was zipped up and Kane was quietly resting. Someone must have given Ross a glimpse of the rule book the day he hit puberty, told him how to turn on that winning smile and work that velvet voice to gain maximum impact. Oh, he wasn’t a flirt, he didn’t turn on the charm to beguile people, it was all just so damned effortless with him and it would be so, so easy to let it go to her head.
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Carol Marinelli
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: The doctor and the single momWhen Shelly Weaver returns to the children′s ward for her first night shift as a single mom, she discovers it′s also Dr. Ross Bodey′s first night back. He′s been working in the Outback, but on discovering Shelly′s newly single status he′s returned—for her!Shelly didn′t know Ross was in love with her—until now. And suddenly Ross is asking her to change her life forever. But Shelly has her son to consider, although he is falling in love with Ross as quickly as Shelly is…