Long-Lost Mom
Long-Lost Mom
Jill Shalvis
A classic novel of second chances and redemption from New York Times best-selling author Jill Shalvis.Single mom Jenna Loggins came from the wrong side of the tracks, but she'd vowed to give her beloved baby a better life. So ten years ago desperate Jenna fled, leaving her daughter in the care of Stone Cameron, the child's father and the son of the richest family in town.But a near-fatal car crash has given Jenna a second chance to make things right for the man and the child she loved but left behind. Now Jenna's back—with a new name and face—and Stone is drawn to the mysterious beauty. Can Jenna risk telling Stone and her daughter the truth, or will she have to hide behind the face of a stranger forever?
A classic novel of second chances and redemption from New York Times bestselling author Jill Shalvis.
Single mom Jenna Loggins came from the wrong side of the tracks, but she’d vowed to give her beloved baby a better life. So ten years ago desperate Jenna fled, leaving her daughter in the care of Stone Cameron, the child’s father and the son of the richest family in town.
But a near-fatal car crash has given Jenna a second chance to make things right for the man and the child she loved but left behind. Now Jenna’s back—with a new name and face—and Stone is drawn to the mysterious beauty. Can Jenna risk telling Stone and her daughter the truth, or will she have to hide behind the face of a stranger forever?
Her goal hadn’t changed,
Jenna reassured herself as she watched Stone move toward her. She still wanted to atone for the things she’d done. But if she told Stone the truth about who she was, he would turn from her, his eyes icy and distant.
But as Cindy Beatty, a complete stranger, she could do anything.
Stone held her gaze as he came close. Jenna couldn’t have looked away to save her life, not when so pinned by his burning intensity.
And she knew by the very power of what shimmered between them that it was the same for him—except he had no idea that this...thing between them was not new, that it had been there since the very beginning.
“Hello,” Stone said in that voice like dark honey. “It’s... Cindy, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she murmured, sealing her fate with yet another lie. “It’s Cindy.”
Dear Reader (#ulink_9e4d15b7-1e6b-5d04-beb2-f43a953a763d),
Happy New Year! And welcome to another month of great reading from Silhouette Intimate Moments, just perfect for sitting back after the hectic holidays. You’ll love Marilyn Pappano’s Murphy’s Law, a MEN IN BLUE title set in New Orleans, with all that city’s trademark steam. You’ll remember Jack Murphy and Evie DesJardiens long after you put down this book, I promise you.
We’ve got some great miniseries titles this month, too. Welcome back to Carla Cassidy’s Western town of MUSTANG, MONTANA in Code Name: Cowboy. Then pay a visit to Margaret Watson’s CAMERON, UTAH in Cowboy with a Badge. And of course, don’t forget our other titles this month. Look for Dangerous To Love, by Sally Tyler Hayes, a book whose title I personally find irresistible. And we’ve got books from a couple of our newest stars, too. Jill Shalvis checks in with Long-Lost Mom, and Virginia Kantra pens our FAMILIES ARE FOREVER title, The Passion of Patrick MacNeill.
Enjoy them all—and be sure to come back next month for more of the most exciting romantic reading around, right here in Silhouette Intimate Moments.
Yours,
Leslie J. Wainger
Executive Senior Editor
Long-Lost Mom
Jill Shalvis
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
JILL SHALVIS
When pressed for an answer on why she writes romance, Jill Shalvis just smiles and says she didn’t realize there was anything else. She’s written over a dozen novels so far, and doesn’t plan on stopping. She lives in California, in a house filled with young children, too many animals and her hero/husband.
To Matrice, for believing in me, even when I didn’t. Thank you!
Table of Contents
Cover (#u2f313a51-3a18-5669-9700-734eedf22580)
Back Cover Text (#ubecb05fb-eba2-5b9d-88ab-11a056772158)
Introduction (#u28422e9f-e208-556e-b816-5b8b4ff821b5)
Letter to Reader (#u9bd48b6f-52f0-5f20-9f65-6ed9d9951ea9)
Title Page (#u92dec41a-8881-5131-8008-75cb1f938f6c)
About the Author (#u389b9f7f-1de3-54fa-8a8b-73ec18d661a8)
Dedication (#u1e5d5bea-d422-5ba3-a03e-4a83464b8c97)
Chapter 1 (#udc8c3d51-9c4b-52b2-b7eb-79c33c66ed1c)
Chapter 2 (#ubf62297c-f88f-545e-a49c-1964db13c029)
Chapter 3 (#ucff8999c-246a-5bdc-86c4-f1322b28b336)
Chapter 4 (#u20c51243-bad4-53ab-a3f4-b885fa566002)
Chapter 5 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 6 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 7 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 8 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 9 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 13 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 14 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 15 (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 1 (#ulink_133b57ff-3d3b-526d-a65f-3fca48b2ccb6)
He came every year without fail. Same day, same time, and he wondered, as he always did, if Jenna knew it. If she was haunted by their past, too.
Of course she wasn’t, and never had been.
Annoyed at himself, Stone Cameron tossed a curious squirrel a handful of his trail mix. “This is the last year I do this,” he told the animal over the roar of the surf.
The squirrel sat up on its haunches, hoping for more.
Stone tossed some more food, then laughed in spite of himself when the greedy thing tried to eat it all on the spot.
“Oh...my God.”
At the soft gasp Stone shifted on the large rock and looked over his shoulder.
A woman stood on the sand of the deserted beach, covered from head to toe in black. Black trousers, black hooded wool coat, gloves and boots. The early-morning spring sun spilled over her, bathing her in a golden glow, and for an instant she looked so familiar his heart all but stopped.
Jenna.
A shaft of pain sliced through him, neatly destroying his calm. For a moment he’d thought she’d come back, but he knew now that was impossible.
Jenna Loggins was gone. Long gone.
And he was glad.
The woman standing before him appeared rigid, practically unbreathing. All he could see of her was her nose, but somehow it was enough to know she was deeply troubled.
Great. For the past ten years Stone had made it a habit to stay away from women in distress. Far away.
The woman, medium height and willowy as a reed, suddenly swayed on her feet as though feeling faint.
Dammit. “Are you all right?” His voice was rougher and grittier than he would have liked, but sitting here, in this precise spot, where he hadn’t been in an entire year, was tearing his guts out.
She nodded, then raised a glove-covered hand to her face. Behind her mirrored sunglasses he sensed her intense unwavering stare, which he returned.
She didn’t look all right, although he couldn’t see her well at all, just a vague impression of porcelain skin, carefully painted lips and shuttered eyes. “Maybe you should sit down,” he suggested, shifting over on the large rock. There was ample room for two.
Slowly, as if in a trance, the woman walked around the rock to face him. For a long minute she said nothing, did nothing, just stared at him.
And despite Stone’s resolve to be alone and miserable on this day, something about the woman caused a stir deep within him. It wasn’t her body; he couldn’t see it clearly. It certainly wasn’t the face she’d hidden from him with such care. No, it was something much more profound, and it disturbed him in a way he hadn’t been disturbed in some time.
He was inexplicably aware of her as a woman. And he didn’t want to be. God, he so didn’t want to be.
“I...can’t believe it,” she whispered.
Neither could he, but he couldn’t deny it. Some silent connection was drawing him to her.
The squirrel, clearly sensing snack time had come to an end, took off, chattering loudly, and disappeared into the thick woods lining the California beach. The noise seemed to snap the woman out of her spell. Again she lifted a hand to one cheek as if protecting herself from his gaze. Stone couldn’t see her eyes behind the reflective sunglasses, but he knew she stared at him as if waiting for something.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” The minute the words were out he wished them back. Would he never learn to stop trying to fix everyone’s problems but his own?
“You...don’t know me.”
She sounded so shocked that Stone took a closer look. Her hood had fallen back some, revealing a crop of fawn-colored hair, artfully cut to fall in soft waves about her face—a face still more than half-covered by her scarf and the tilt of her head, almost as though she was afraid he would recognize her.
He didn’t.
A horrible bone-seizing tension seem to grip her, a tension he didn’t understand and told himself he didn’t want to.
“Don’t tell me you have amnesia,” he quipped, trying to lighten the mood, when in fact, for some reason, he really wanted to take her hand and tell her everything would be okay.
He was an idiot.
“No, I don’t have amnesia. But...” Her voice trailed off and her mouth closed tight. Suddenly she sank onto the rock beside him. “You... I’m a stranger to you.” As if she realized how much she’d revealed, she dragged her hood back over her head and hugged herself with her arms. “A complete stranger.”
“We can fix that easily enough,” he said, disturbed by the anguish in her voice. “I’m Stone Cameron. And you’re...”
“I’m...” She hesitated so long Stone became convinced she wasn’t going to tell him. She continued to regard him intently, as if he could fill in the blank for her. “Cindy,” she said finally, almost regretfully. “My name is Cindy Beatty.”
A lie. He knew it even before she refused to meet his gaze. And just that quickly, his sympathy and curiosity vanished, for he’d had enough of that sort of woman to last him a lifetime. Standing abruptly, he shrugged into his jacket and without another word started walking away, across the sand, toward the steep stairs that led to his truck.
“You’re...leaving?” The last word was a squeak of surprise.
“Yes. Goodbye,” he added politely, unwilling, even in the face of her lie, to be completely rude. Hardening himself to the pained disbelief in her voice, Stone forced himself to keep walking. His reaction was ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop himself.
Not on this day.
* * *
She’d lied, and hated herself for it. Still, Jenna watched him go with hungry eyes, suddenly transported back in time. Ten years since she’d seen him. He’d been the most coolheaded, most strong-willed and honest man she’d ever known. That had obviously not changed with time, for she knew he’d sensed her lie.
Heart aching, she watched his broad-shouldered form slowly disappear from sight. Physically he’d changed little. His laugh lines were deeper, his eyes a bit more cynical, and he wasn’t as lanky, almost gawky, as he’d been at twenty. But he still possessed a raw sensuality that tugged at some elementary core of her, and his body was still honed to a lean toughness by the physical labor he’d done to put himself through college.
She’d gotten that tidbit from the detective she’d hired, and her heart had nearly broken. For it had been her fault that he’d had to work so hard back then.
Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.
The words repeated like a mantra through her head, mixing with the crashing waves.
Why hadn’t she told him the truth just now? Why had she reverted to the young girl of her past and taken the easy way out, using the name she’d adopted for herself—Cindy Beatty?
She could have told him about the car accident that had changed her life. Yes, she’d nearly died—should have died. Instead, she’d been given a new lease on life. A chance to right her wrongs, of which there were an unfortunate many. And oh, yes, thanks to plowing face first through her windshield and then having three cosmetic surgeries to repair the damage, she had a new face with which to do it.
Jenna had waited until today, her twenty-seventh birthday, to make the final move, to come back to San Paso Bay, midway up the California coast and get what she’d always dreamed of.
Forgiveness. And her daughter.
A new birthday, a new beginning.
She hoped.
But sitting on the rock that had once been hers and Stone’s safe haven, all she could think of was how it’d been one of the last times she’d seen Stone. The way he looked without the restriction of any clothes covering that surprisingly savage strength. What she would give to feel him pressed against her, to have his hard arms encircle her body and tighten around her until...
She was crazy thinking like this. Crazy. Drawing a shaky breath, Jenna cleared her head and forced her thoughts in a different direction.
She had to right some of her wrongs, and as hard as it would be, she had to tell everyone who she was.
Or did she?
Confused and surprisingly hurt, she stared at the stairs up which Stone had disappeared.
The detective she’d hired had done his job. She knew all the paper facts about Stone and his daughter—her daughter knew where they lived, what he did for a living, what he drove, and still it wasn’t enough. She yearned for more. She yearned to see her child.
For that, Jenna needed forgiveness. And Stone—she needed him, too. He’d looked so good. So big and powerful and darkly beautiful. So... hers. Only he would never be hers again. She’d seen to that ten years ago, when she’d run from both of them like the frightened seventeen-year-old she’d been. The ache in her heart was so sharp it almost doubled her over.
So did the shock of him not recognizing her—an additionally painful and deflating blow.
Well, what had she expected? A jagged windshield tearing off her face hadn’t helped any. Neither had the reconstructive surgeries or the way her hair had returned darker after being shaved in pre-op. And no one would recognize her voice, which was now throatier—even sexier—thanks to her voice box also being damaged in the accident. But most of all she blamed the ten years that had passed so quickly since she’d left the small town nestled on the California coast.
“It’ll be okay,” she whispered. Stone, in spite of his inner toughness and sometimes blunt nature, was a gentleman at heart. No matter how much rage and resentment he’d built up against her—and she was certain there was plenty—his sense of decency and honor would prevail. He had a will of iron and a stubborn streak to go along with it, but regardless, Stone was honest to a fault.
Unlike her.
At the thought, the tears she’d been barely holding back began to fall.
* * *
Late that afternoon Stone flipped up the page on the calendar and drew a ragged breath as he reminded himself what he already knew.
Jenna’s birthday.
She’d be... He pretended to count. As though he’d forgotten it’d been ten years since he’d last laid eyes on her.
She’d be twenty-seven now. And he wondered, as he often did, what she was doing. She wasn’t living in a small town enjoying the quaint lifestyle, that was for certain. Jenna had never been one for restrictions of any kind, and San Paso Bay, a typical small town, certainly posed them. Stone found the place refreshing and real compared with the bigger cities of the world, but he knew Jenna would be doing something entirely different.
Such as hang gliding off the Angeles Crest. Or sky diving in the Mojave Desert. Maybe even mountain climbing in Tibet. Wait—this was the nineties. She was probably bungee jumping off the Golden Gate bridge or extreme skiing in the Canadian Rockies.
In the quiet of his shop Stone felt his anger swell up once again and grab him by the throat.
He turned abruptly from the calendar.
This date always got him, left him feeling as though he’d just taken a sucker punch to the solar plexus. Always left him drowning in a sea of furious emotion that time never seemed to ease. But it was just this one day, he told himself. All the other days of the year he was perfectly fine.
Yet he went to the beach—their beach—on this day every year at dawn. Just as they had together... The pencil he held snapped. He couldn’t keep doing this.
Look what had happened to him this morning with that woman. Hours later, and he was still thinking about the mysterious Cindy Beatty.
Purposely Stone drew a deep breath and let his surroundings calm him. Toy Station, his pride and joy, never failed him. Some said he wasted his talent as an architect designing and building educational toys for gifted children, which he insisted on making by hand for classrooms all over the globe. Others rumored he’d been disinherited by his rich family and therefore had to spend every day working his fingers to the bone.
It was true, all of it. But Stone loved his life. Loved his work.
And loved...
Sara rushed into Toy Station with a wide grin on her face.
Sara. Just the sight of her completed his thought. He loved his daughter.
“Didja get it?” She bounced from one foot to the other like a Ping-Pong ball. “Didja? Didja?”
“Get what?”
“Daddyyyyy!”
Smiling, he handed her the one-hour-photo envelope.
“Cool!” She tore open the envelope, then flipped through each shot, giggling at some, making faces at others. “Come look. I’m getting good.”
Stone glanced down at the mostly blurred and very unbalanced shots, some with suspicious-looking smudges that might have been a finger on the lens, and nodded seriously. “Very,” he said encouragingly.
“Look, there’s Sally pretending my teddy is her daddy. She doesn’t see him since he remarried, so I told her it was okay to pretend, just like I do about Mommy.”
Stone held his tongue, but it was difficult because anger nearly choked him. He had no patience for people who turned away from family. To him, family was everything. Family took care of their own, or rather, they should. It was that simple. Maybe he was just old-fashioned, but it was the way he felt, and he knew nothing would ever change that.
Unfortunately, he also knew that things rarely happened as they should. “Bring Sally over here, Sara. We’ll be her family anytime she needs us. Okay?”
Her smile lit his heart. “’Kay.”
“So what was your hurry to have the pictures developed?”
She didn’t answer, but pulled out the last photograph with a frown. “Oh, Daddy. I can’t believe you took this one.” She moaned theatrically, as only a ten-year-old can do.
Stone glanced at the photo causing the distress and laughed. “This is my proof,” he teased, tugging on a loose curl the color of coal. “You helped me paint your bedroom. You picked out those horrid colors.” He shook his head. “Chartreuse, of all things.”
Sara snickered.
“Anyway, I needed the snapshot so that in three months, when you come to me with those big baby blues begging for yet another color change, I can pull it out and remind you—this was what you wanted. You wanted it so badly you helped paint it.”
“Oh, Daddy.”
“You already said that.” Stone moved away, heading toward the back of the workshop where he did most of his designing. “You never told me what your hurry was.”
“My album,” she said in a soft dreamy voice that made him turn back to look at her. “I want my photo album to be complete when Mommy comes back.”
His heart stopped. A new wave of rage at Jenna hit him. “Honey...” Hard to talk when his lungs wouldn’t expand, he discovered. “Sara—”
“It’s her birthday today.”
“Yes,” he managed.
She met his unsteady gaze with eyes wise beyond their years. “I know what you told me,” she whispered from the other side of the store, but he caught every word. “That you don’t think she’s ever coming back.”
God. “I’m sorry, Sara—”
“And I know you don’t want me to think about her, but I can’t help it. I want her to come back.”
“Oh, baby.” He sighed and moved toward her. Thankfully he had no meeting, no customers, so there would be no nosy ears listening to this. Gently he took Sara’s shoulders and waited until she looked at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking about her?”
“Because it hurts you.” Sara, her wide eyes sheened with unshed tears, sniffed loudly. “I hate it when you hurt.”
She hadn’t cried about her mother for some time, and Stone was furious at himself for not noticing sooner that she needed him. “Sara...” Was it possible to feel such overwhelming love for a small child, so much that it was a physical pain? “I don’t want you to keep things inside, ever.” He cupped her chin and kissed her nose. “Even if you think it’s going to hurt me.”
“Then why don’t we talk about her?”
How to explain? How to tell his precious and yes, dammit, sheltered daughter that she’d been abandoned at birth by a mother who had been little more than a child herself? That he’d been too young to take on both the baby and the mother? That even if he could have managed, it didn’t matter because Jenna had run?
But Sara needed to know, needed to understand, and he couldn’t fail her. “I’ll talk about her to you anytime,” he promised, knowing that promise was likely to kill him.
“Why did she go away before I was out of the hospital?”
“She had to go, Sara.” Defending the woman who had nearly destroyed him was easy only because Sara needed answers. Kind ones. “She had to. She had no one to love her, and so she ran away.”
Huge blue eyes waited for more. Jenna’s eyes. They were a more brilliant blue than his, and framed by lush lashes—just like Jenna’s. “I would love her.”
Unable to trust his voice, Stone squeezed her hand.
“Why couldn’t she just have made a family with us and be ours forever? Why did she have to go?”
Solemnly, patiently, she blinked at him, and Stone swallowed hard. His own anguish came back so easily, he discovered. “She was scared, honey. Very scared.” And to be fair to Jenna, there’d been evil forces that had pushed her to leave. Forces he hadn’t been able to protect her from. She’d been betrayed, horribly and cruelly, by her own mother in a single event that had changed Jenna’s life forever. Still, she could have, should have, trusted him to help, and she hadn’t. “She was young, and alone and petrified.”
“But you were with her, and you can fix anything.”
God bless this child who had never wanted for a thing. Stone, with his ruthlessly stubborn streak and single-mindedness, had seen to it. But for the sake of memories and a heartache that had never died, he had to try to make Sara understand. “Yes, she had me,” he told her. “But I was young, too.”
“You were in college. At a fancy expensive school.”
“Yes.”
“And your mommy and daddy got mad at you and never spoke to you again. You had to transpose.”
“Transfer,” he corrected with a small smile. “To the local college here. I wanted you with me, Sara.” His parents had disowned them both, the boy barely a man, and the infant without a mother, all because he had “ruined his life” by keeping his baby. The baby he’d been responsible for.
Neither his mother nor his father nor his brother, Richard, Stone’s childhood hero, had spoken to Stone or Sara since.
Regret wasn’t a part of this. He could never look into Sara’s beautiful face and regret one part of what had happened. But it did bring up his worst nightmare, and remind him of the stoic way Sara accepted the fact that they had no family willing to acknowledge their existence.
For what would happen to his daughter if something happened to him? Who would take care of her, love her?
“It’d be nice to have grandparents.” Sara’s casual tone didn’t fool him. “Or...an uncle.”
She wasn’t talking in general, and he knew it. She meant his own parents and his brother. At the wistful tone in her voice, he actually felt murderous toward his own family. “They don’t understand, Sara. They can’t see past their own stubborn noses. But I love you and I’ll never stop. ’Kay?”
She smiled. “’Kay.” Tipping her head, she studied him. “Has she ever been back?”
“I’d tell you if she had. I’ve always promised you that. You don’t ever have to wonder.” He didn’t add that he’d spent more than a small fortune trying to find Jenna over the years. That occasionally he still tried, although now it was completely for Sara’s sake, because he had the feeling he would always be far too angry at Jenna ever to want her in his life. He refused to add to his daughter’s pain, but he couldn’t stand the thought of her waiting expectantly for something he’d become convinced would never happen. And if a small part of him wondered if there’d ever be a woman in his life who could make him truly forget Jenna, he ignored it. He didn’t need another heartbreak. “I’m afraid she’s not coming back, Sara.”
The girl stared down at the last photo of herself, the one where she was decked out in painter’s attire, grinning broadly as she painted her room a somewhat sickening shade of yellow-green. Completely unaware of how much every part of her—her laugh, her carefree attitude, her easy affection—all reminded Stone of Jenna.
“She is coming back,” Sara whispered. “I just know it.” She met her dad’s worried expression and hugged him hard. “Well, she is.”
Holding her close, Stone stared over her head at the calendar.
Ten years.
He was far from the frightened twenty-year-old left with no family and an infant he didn’t know how to care for. As a result, he’d long ago hardened his heart to the memory of the wild needy Jenna who’d so completely stolen his affections. He’d long ago moved on. Yet in spite of all his lingering rage, he’d forgiven her for what she’d done to him. Or so he told himself.
But as he kissed the top of Sara’s head, he had to admit the truth to himself.
He hadn’t forgiven Jenna for what she’d done to their daughter. Hadn’t even come close.
* * *
Jenna’s chest hurt. It had nothing to do with any lingering injuries and everything to do with the sight in front of her.
She sat on a tier of stands in the gymnasium of the school watching a basketball game.
Sara—it was really her this time, not some cruel dream her mind had conjured up to tease her—was playing basketball with all her little ten-year-old heart. Her tongue was squeezed between her teeth, her eyes narrowed in fierce concentration as she dribbled—okay, tripped—over the ball.
Her daughter. It had to be. Jenna had seen no pictures over the years. How could she have when she’d so completely disappeared no one could have found her even if they’d been looking? And she wasn’t hopeful or foolish enough to think that anyone had been looking.
“Go, Sara!” came a chorus of cries from the crowd gathered around Jenna.
Sara. Her name really was Sara.
Which meant Stone had kept his fervent promise that day in the hospital, when Jenna had named their baby before vanishing.
She was incredible, with beautiful long dark hair, bright laughing blue eyes and a sweet infectious laugh. A perfect little replica of Stone. Jenna’s heart squeezed as her arms crossed over herself in a mime of the hug she yearned to give her child.
Looking at her, Jenna couldn’t remember why she’d stayed away. None of the reasons she’d thought so important all those years seemed to matter now.
Tears welled in her eyes, but Jenna ruthlessly blinked them back. She had no right to cry, none at all. But Lord, it hurt. She’d never wanted anything as much as she wanted her little girl.
“That’s it, Sara,” someone shouted. “Run, run!”
It was an achingly familiar voice that made Jenna’s heart all but stop. Stone, his hands cupped over his mouth, was giving directions to his team, and God, he looked good. When she’d seen him the day before at the beach, she hadn’t been fully prepared for the sheer physical jolt of being near him again, but the long years of separation peeled away as if they’d never been.
There didn’t seem to be an unsure bone in that tall, toned body. There was something raw and earthy and generally untamed about him, despite the casual athletic clothes.
His shoulders had widened greatly, now physically a match for the weight of the burdens he’d always carried. He shifted back and forth on long muscular legs as he paced courtside, his arms constantly in motion as he directed the team.
Nope, he certainly wasn’t a kid any longer, but a fully mature, incredibly sexy man.
“Down court!” he yelled now in the smooth tone she remembered so well. He leaped into the air and whooped with abandon when Sara passed off the ball to another girl, who pivoted and made a basket.
The stands, full of parents and siblings, erupted as the game ended.
Pride nearly overwhelmed Jenna. She’d had no idea she could feel such a thrill, such joy, from watching a game she didn’t even understand. But it was her daughter down there. Her daughter.
On the court every girl on the team threw herself at the coach. Stone tossed back his head and laughed, hugging each of them back.
There’d been a time in Jenna’s life when seeing Stone smile and laugh like that had caused every productive thought to fly right out of her head, and she discovered with little surprise that hadn’t changed.
Watching Stone live as she’d only been able to dream about suddenly felt like a knife to her chest. She nearly staggered with the pain of it, with the gut-wrenching regret.
How had this happened? How had she allowed so much time to go by without a word? And what would happen now that she’d come back?
Knowing she deserved nothing, not even a fraction of the warmth she was experiencing now, didn’t help. With that dismal thought, the gates of her mind opened and flooded her with unwanted memories of her past.
Her absent father.
The mother she could never please, so she’d finally stopped trying. Instead Jenna had depended on her wild behavior to get attention.
Her perfect sister, the one Jenna’s mother constantly wished was her only child.
Everything had always seemed to be Jenna’s fault back then, even when she’d been merely a victim of circumstances. And a victim she’d been. Yet she’d been blamed and, unable to accept it, had rebelled.
She’d been wild, even before then. Hopelessly, pathetically out of control. Moody. It was all she knew how to do, for she could never get her mother to care unless she was furious about something Jenna had done. Without the bad-girl image Jenna had cultivated, she had no identity. No worth.
She’d been on the fast road to nowhere when Stone Cameron had come into her life. The star athlete and town darling, he was by far the most popular kid in school. Everyone adored him. He came from the rich side of the tracks and lived in one of the biggest and prettiest houses Jenna had ever seen. His parents and brother loved him.
His life had seemed perfect.
She’d hated him for that alone.
He’d found her in a tall tree along the beach one night when she been her most vulnerable, shaking after a particularly nasty fight with her mother—a fight in which Jenna’s mother had refused to believe that the man she was seeing had touched Jenna. A man not only cheating on his wife to sleep with Jenna’s mother, but a man who was a highly respected member of their community.
Scared and alone, Jenna had hidden in the only place she could think of. Without hesitation Stone had climbed up the long branches, sat next to her and smiled. In return, Jenna had called him names and had tried to push him out of the tree.
He refused to fall—or give up.
It’d been the start of the first meaningful friendship in Jenna’s life. Stone cared for her, more than anyone. He was the first to encourage her to stop doing stupid reckless things that would only get her hurt. He worried, he’d told her, and that knowledge had warmed Jenna’s heart and soul for the first time in her life.
But the man who’d victimized her had turned the scandal around, claiming Jenna had seduced him. In the face of the town’s disgust, Jenna folded. Despite Stone’s love and support, she let herself be destroyed.
Sitting there now, wallowing in the memories, agonizing over them, Jenna was gripped by panic.
Could Stone ever forgive her?
She looked down at the basketball court and found Stone’s glittering eyes on her, eyes that had perhaps seen too much to ever be surprised by anything again.
She’d done that, given the most open loving boy she’d ever met that slight cynical edge.
Ashamed, without stopping to think, Jenna grabbed her purse, ran outside the gym, jumped into her car and escaped, feeling no braver than when she was seventeen.
* * *
Over the next couple of days, Jenna gained some badly needed perspective. She could do this, she coached herself. She could, she would.
Again she went to one of Sara’s games, and again held her breath the entire time, completely immersed in how it felt to watch her daughter run, laugh, live.
At the end of the game, which Sara’s team won, Jenna looked down from the stands—and her heart simply stopped.
Staring at her from the side of the court was Stone, holding a basketball in one hand and his daughter’s hand in the other.
As the crowd thinned around them, neither of them moved, held there by an invisible string of unspoken questions. Stone was obviously drawn to Jenna, although he could have no idea why—or that she was a nightmare from his past about to resurface. She cringed at that thought and felt more than saw Stone’s gaze narrow in a mixture of concern and curiosity.
Still, he held the connection, and Jenna wished she would see a flash of recognition in his eyes. She knew now she wouldn’t, not with ten years, plastic surgery and dubious maturity on her side. Well, nothing had ever come easily to her, and it seemed this wouldn’t, either.
If she wanted Stone to know the truth, she was going to have to tell him.
Her goal hadn’t changed; she still wanted to atone for the things she’d done, such as deserting her own daughter. But if she told Stone who she was now, she knew he would turn from her, his eyes icy and distant.
But as Cindy Beatty, a complete stranger to Stone and the town she knew would never welcome her back, she could do anything.
Stone continued to maintain eye contact. Jenna couldn’t have torn her gaze away to save her life, leaving her no doubt that their always instant sizzling attraction still lived. It had unnerved her then, just as it did now, for though they’d always been drawn to each other, even as kids, she had never understood what Stone saw in her.
Connected to him this way, by just his gaze, caused an awareness to unfurl from deep within her. And she knew by his slight frown, by the very power of what shimmered between them, that it was the same for him. Only he could have no idea that this...thing between them was not new, that it had been there since the very beginning.
He remained unsmiling, that wide, sexy mouth serious. She felt panic rise.
You’re not seventeen anymore, she told herself firmly, even as her feet shuffled, prepared to run, as was their lifelong habit. You’re twenty-seven and here to right your wrongs. Turn your life around. Do it!
Far below, Sara’s lips moved and Stone nodded in response, but he did not break eye contact with Jenna.
Jenna smiled feebly. It was all she could manage, but Stone’s intense stare didn’t waver. Neither did Sara’s.
Tell them, an inner voice urged. Just go down there and tell them who you are.
Of their own accord, her legs took her down the stands she’d climbed up an hour and a half earlier—when she’d been driven by a need to see her daughter and hadn’t known how else to go about it other than to watch her from afar. And when she’d read the banner listing the names of the all-city fifth-grade champs, she’d been surprised to find Sara Cameron listed. After seeing that, fire-breathing dragons couldn’t have kept Jenna from the games.
“Hello,” Stone said when she got within hearing distance. That warm lazy baritone made her shudder with memories. For years she’d dreamed about that deep silky voice of his, and hearing it now brought her vividly back in time. Shockingly another memory surfaced.
Stone, making love to her the way he spoke, as if he had all the time in the world.
Jenna blushed wildly. Where had that come from? There was more to Stone than the way he’d once touched her, far more. He’d have fits if he knew her thoughts, for he wasn’t smiling now, not the way he had when the game had ended favorably or when Sara had flung herself into his arms for a hug. Jenna had to clear her throat twice before she croaked out a hello in return.
“I saw you at the game the other day,” he said in that voice like dark honey. “You ran off before I could talk to you. It’s...Cindy, isn’t it?”
He remembered her name, or that horrible pretend name Jenna had given him at the beach. She wanted to laugh and, instead, nearly cried.
Tell him the truth.
“Yes,” she murmured, sealing her fate with yet another lie. “It’s Cindy.”
Chapter 2 (#ulink_3351f0f0-368f-5935-b99f-8170176a19c0)
Chicken, Jenna told herself furiously, but she didn’t recant the lie. “And I didn’t mean to run off. I just...”
“It’s all right. I ran off on you first, at the beach,” Stone said, quietly apologetic, his voice velvety and calm. The arm he’d thrown around Sara squeezed as tension seemed to fill him. “And I’m—”
Before he could finish his apology, which was what she should be doing for the rest of her life, Jenna broke in. “No, no. Please.” She clenched her hands together to keep them from moving wildly about as they tended to do when she was nervous. And she was very nervous now. “I understand. I...I acted strangely.”
“Are you new to town?”
Jenna looked at Sara and managed a smile, though her throat tightened as she got her first close look at her child. God. Her child. She was so beautiful and the urge to touch her was so strong that Jenna had to close her hands into tight fists. Her short neatly manicured nails dug into her palms as she forced herself not to cry. “Yes.” Her voice caught on the sob she didn’t quite swallow, so she cleared her throat to hide it, avoiding Stone’s probing gaze. “I’m brand-new.”
And wasn’t that the complete truth? Certainly she’d been rebuilt since the car accident. For whatever reason, she’d been given another chance, and she didn’t want to mess it up this time. No longer did she want to spend the rest of her life job hopping for survival. Drifting from one group of so-called friends to another, living her life on the edge because that was the only way she knew how to live it.
She wanted to come back.
But if what she’d lived with all this time since the accident, knowing she’d pretty much mangled every inch of her face and a good part of her body, had terrified her, the prospect of telling Stone who she really was quite simply paralyzed her. No, petrified her.
Why had she lived?
She couldn’t help but wonder. She hadn’t deserved to—or had she? A part of her so desperately wanted someone to tell her how much she had deserved it.
But she had no one like that in her life, and that was her own fault.
“You’re beautiful,” Sara said.
Beautiful. In the accident, Jenna’s cheekbones had been shattered. So had her jaw and nose. They’d shaved her head completely, whisking away her icy blond waist-length locks without a thought.
It had grown back a bit now, but it was darker and much thicker, totally different than it had been before. Her eyes, normally blue, were covered with both dark sunglasses and even darker prescription contact lenses required for her own comfort—for most light still burned horribly—and also so she could see without wearing her glasses, which she hated.
She was totally and completely transformed. And as Sara pointed out, beautiful. “Thank you,” Jenna whispered, unable to stop looking at her child. It was hard to remain still, to not reach for her and pull her close.
“You moved here all alone?” Sara asked with the avid curiosity of the young.
The question threw Jenna off balance. Her mother had passed away some time ago, but she wasn’t truly alone, not with her sister, Kristen, still alive. Yet she couldn’t imagine her sister rejoicing at their reunion. “All alone,” she confirmed.
“This is my daughter, Sara.” Stone squeezed Sara’s shoulders, his big body shimmering with pride. “She’s very curious,” he added wryly. “And the new county basketball champ.”
“Daddy.” But Sara laughed.
Jenna swallowed hard, consumed by how he’d taken to fatherhood. She’d played an all-too-willing part in that area of his life, a part that to this day haunted her lonely nights with remembered visions of hot searing passion, warm safe arms that kept the outside world at bay and an unbreakable bond of affection. There would have been more, too, if only she’d let it.
She’d left him alone to deal with the consequences of their passion, but she knew, he had handled it as he handled everything—with an unwavering inner strength.
Which of course did nothing to assuage her horrible guilt and regret.
She could feel Stone’s interest like a physical thing, and it was no less for her. Standing this close to him, she had all she could do to remember to breathe. He was so familiar, yet a perfect stranger.
A magnificent perfect stranger she’d never been able to forget.
“Are you gonna eat pizza tonight?” Sara asked.
Jenna blinked at Sara. “Pizza?”
“Tonight’s pizza night at Joey’s. It’ll be packed with all the kids from the game,” Stone explained.
“Joey’s has great pizza.” Sara grinned in anticipation. “Lotsa cheese. I’m really starving, Daddy.”
Daddy. God, the way she said that, it made Jenna yearn. Made her ache. Made her want to cry, something she absolutely could not do with the protective contacts in, for it would burn like hell.
“We’re going, honey.” But Stone didn’t move for an interminably long moment.
Jenna didn’t, either. She held her breath, absorbing the intensity of his gaze. As the nearly visible electrical current ran between the two of them, she wondered how long this could continue.
“Daddy?”
“I know, Sara.” He smiled down at her, handed her the basketball and a backpack. “Here, take these. I’ll catch up in a sec.”
Happily Sara took his things, shot a shy smile at Jenna and walked away.
Stone waited, wanting to be certain Sara was out of earshot. “Look,” he said to the silent woman, feeling a little foolish. “This might seem odd, but...do I know you?”
Cindy paled. “What...what do you mean?”
He knew that following his gut instinct had been the right thing to do, given her reaction. But it explained nothing, certainly not the strange mixture of dismay and wonder just the sight of her evoked. “Have we met before?”
She raised a hand to her face, just as she had at the beach, as if she wanted to hide herself from him, which made no sense. But she seemed so distressed that Stone took pity on her and said quickly, as gently as he could, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you look...” What? She didn’t look familiar, not at all, and yet, he could swear that he knew her from somewhere.
But if he’d met this slender beauty before, certainly he would remember.
She made a soft sound, one that conveyed a wrenching sorrow. The urge to move forward, to take her arm and offer some sort of solace was strong.
But he’d sworn off damsels in distress a long time ago. The only women he let in his life now were strong-willed, self-possessed, sophisticated women who not only took care of themselves, but were not looking for any sort of permanence.
He might have laughed, for a woman in his life, any woman, was rare indeed. With his booming business and his vivacious daughter, Stone had little to no social time left over for himself. After so long he’d gotten used to it. Almost. But a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder... when would he meet someone who would reawaken his heart?
She smiled, although it was clearly forced. “Well...it was nice to see you again.”
So polite, he thought. So hurt. Dammit. “Wait,” he said just as she turned away, cursing himself even as he took a step toward her. “Are you coming for pizza night?”
Startled, she stared at him from behind those disconcertingly dark glasses. “I don’t think so.” A slim shoulder lifted. “I don’t know anyone.”
“You know us.” He had no idea why he was doing this, but something about her called to him on a deep primal level he was reluctant to explore. “Come on. It’d be a great way for you to acclimate yourself to small-town life.”
Suspicion filled her fine features. “How do you know I’m not used to it already?”
How to disburse that frightened-doe look? he wondered. “Your clothes for starters. We’re a one-school town here, and you’re dressed pretty fancy for a basketball game starring our local ten-year-olds.”
He laughed when she stared down at herself, taking in the expensive leather flats, the slim fitted trousers that outlined her showcase legs, her soft silky blouse, with the hint of lace and sexy curves beneath it. She wore a string of fine pearls on her elegant neck that reminded him of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but—
“Well, believe it or not, I grew up in a small town.” Her face colored slightly when he arched his brows in surprise. “But it’s been a while.”
“Daaaddyyyyy!”
Stone swiveled toward the voice. Sara stood in the doorway to the gymnasium, waving wildly, making him smile. “Coming,” he called.
He turned back to Jenna and caught the unwitting look of sheer longing she’d cast toward Sara. It wasn’t the thought of pizza that put that look on her face, he somehow knew, but loneliness.
Something he understood all too well. It called to him, but was he really ready for this? “Come on,” he said quietly with an inner sigh of resignation. Hell, no, he wasn’t ready, but he couldn’t ignore the strange pull of attraction. He held out a hand. “Let’s go eat.”
* * *
Her deep-rooted fear of again being shunned by the town nearly overcame her, but Jenna had a stiff talk with herself as she followed Stone and Sara in her own car to the pizza joint.
Clearly no one was going to recognize her.
And though she’d come back with the intention of letting everyone know who she was, especially Sara, Jenna was beginning to see the advantage of remaining silent, if only for a little while.
Until she proved she’d changed.
She was no longer a young terrified girl on the path of destruction. She’d become a woman who could control herself and her destiny.
A woman who was going to show everyone how worthy she was. A woman who hoped someday soon to have her daughter back in her life.
Having decided this, it was all she could do to contain herself as she stepped from her car and looked at the two people standing there waiting for her. Stone was leaning against his truck, long legs casually crossed, one hand tucked into his sweatshirt pocket, the other resting on Sara’s shoulders. He was relaxed, yet so clearly strong and vital and content with himself and his surroundings. Jenna knew what iron will and inner strength existed just beneath the surface of that body, and admired him for it.
To be half as confident as he...
He smiled a greeting then, his face transforming into the easygoing carefree Stone she used to know, and Jenna was forced to add yet another trait to her list—utterly sexy.
She stumbled at the thought, as again, ridiculously, she found herself rendered stupid by the impact of Stone’s fathomless gaze. He reached for her, an automatic gesture. Their hands brushed, his large one grasping her much smaller one, and she jumped at the contact. It was startling, that someone who moved and talked with such languid ease had such heat in his skin.
And in his eyes as they held hers.
Stone held open the restaurant door, letting first Sara, then Jenna, into the noisy but warm and welcoming place. It was packed, filled to the brim with hungry laughing talking people. Some Jenna recognized from her past and some she didn’t.
She hesitated, suddenly unsure, panicky.
What if she saw him—the man she’d let destroy her life? It had been so long ago, but seeing the man who had molested her would really make her lose any bit of control she still had. He’d likely be here, principal of the only school in town. Her heart thumped against her ribs as she whipped her head back and forth, searching the crowd.
She was making a big deal of nothing, she told herself when she didn’t find him. For all she knew. Rand Ridgeway had moved on, or at least changed occupations.
No sight of him. Still, she couldn’t relax, couldn’t make herself step farther in.
But then she felt Stone’s big warm hand gently rest on the small of her back in an old-fashioned gesture to guide her, and she nearly leaped right out of her skin.
When was the last time she’d been touched like that? As if she mattered? She looked up and he murmured something incoherent, something meant to be soothing, and it was.
She forced herself to relax, to lose the wide-eyed panic she knew she’d displayed. Stone didn’t keep his hand on her; in fact, he removed it immediately, making it the casual chivalrous gesture it had been meant to be—which in no way explained why her knees wobbled.
“I’m so ready to eat,” Sara declared as they wound their way through the sea of tables.
They were stopped several times by people who wanted to say hello or to congratulate Sara and Stone on the win. Several were business associates, and Stone nodded politely to everyone, while a portion of his mind remained occupied by the enigmatic woman walking in front of him as if to the guillotine.
The farther they went into the restaurant, the stiffer her shoulders became, and again, he wondered why.
Who was she? Why did he care? And why couldn’t he be attracted to someone without problems? Someone who had nothing to hide?
“Hello, Stone.”
He sighed. The woman who’d stepped between him and Cindy was Nellie, the postal clerk. She loved to keep her nose in everybody’s business but her own. He’d known her since high school, and in all that time, her crush on him had never faded.
Short and wide as the aisle in which they were standing in, Nellie effectively blocked their way, making Stone want to groan, for he knew there would be no moving past her until she was good and finished with him.
Nellie eyed Cindy with undisguised interest, but spoke to Stone. “You didn’t pick up your mail today, hon. Everything okay?”
He used a post-office box for his business because he often received huge shipments of supplies for the prototypes he put together. He had to, dealing as he did with hundreds of school districts and the way his business was growing by leaps and bounds.
Nellie read the return address on every package.
“Everything’s fine.” And if he had told her otherwise, he’d probably hear it on the evening news. “I’ll get it later.”
Nellie still stared at Cindy, who stood directly in front of Stone, her back to him. He had no trouble detecting Cindy’s rigid stance, her increasing stress, which told him exactly how uncomfortable the unwarranted scrutiny was making her. “Excuse us, Nel,” he said, risking another light touch to the small of Jenna’s back so that she at least attempted to move around the postal clerk.
Startled, Jenna glanced at him over her shoulder, her lips slightly parted. And right there, surrounded by insanity and a hungry daughter, Stone felt the most unexpected urge to bend down and kiss her. Just plant his lips on hers and lose himself until her fear was gone, until she wrapped her slender arms around his neck and whimpered with desire into his mouth.
“You have a new friend.”
Nellie again.
Cindy took a tiny step backward, as if terrified he was going to introduce her. But she’d miscalculated their closeness and bumped right into his chest. Automatically his hands came up to cup her shoulders, steadying her.
Beneath his fingers, she trembled, and any erotic thoughts fled in the face of his concern.
What was so threatening about this place? he wondered. The crowds? Nellie?
The scent of pizza teased his nostrils. His stomach grumbled, reminding him he’d skipped lunch again, working through it so he could take off early for Sara’s game.
Maybe he was just imagining Cindy’s fear. He’d find out. He had the advantage, for he rarely gave up on something once he’d set his mind to it, and for whatever reason, he’d set his mind on Cindy Beatty.
“Are you new in town?” Nellie asked Cindy.
“Yes,” Stone answered for her, squeezing Cindy’s shoulders gently when she made a sudden movement as if preparing to run. “She’s new and we’re starving. Excuse us?”
Smoothly he maneuvered around Nellie, and walked toward the back where there were still a couple of booths available.
Sara stood there grinning broadly, endearingly, before leaning forward to whisper loudly, “She always wants to talk to Daddy. She likes him.”
“Sara...”
“Well, she does. Mrs. Potts said so.”
A startled laugh escaped Cindy, which Stone enjoyed because he could tell she wasn’t a woman who laughed often.
Sara blinked innocently. “Mrs. Potts says Nellie likes your bones and the way they’re put together, Daddy.”
“Enough,” he said firmly, torn between embarrassment and the urge to laugh. Mrs. Potts came to clean his house once a week, had for the past five years, and this apparently gave her pecking rights. And like Nellie, she continuously attempted to run Stone’s life.
“I’m starving,” Sara announced again.
Stone was starving, too, not just for food but for another touch of the woman he knew nothing about yet couldn’t seem to get out of his head. He waited for Cindy to sit, and though his ingrained politeness had him reaching to support her as she slid into the booth, he brought his hand quickly back to his side, not eager to feel the jolt of awareness again.
Not for a woman he sensed was deeply troubled and far too vulnerable. Not for a woman who didn’t know he had commitments in his life he could never turn away from, including the short pigtailed grinning one standing next to him.
“Daddy—” Sara didn’t sit, but shifted eagerly from one foot to another, her hand held out, palm up “—can I have some money while we wait for the pizza? Pretty please?”
“Why? So you can lose it all in the arcade over there?”
“I won’t lose.” Sara’s bony shoulders straightened with pride. “You taught me how, remember?”
Caught, Stone reached into his pockets. “Stay where I can see you, okay?”
“Daddy—”
“Just do it, sport I’ll call you when the pizza gets here.” He handed her a fistful of change he knew would last all of ten minutes and watched her race off with the abandon of youth, his heart contracting with that odd mixture of bittersweet pride and love.
Cindy watched Sara, too, her expression filled with a longing so acute it took Stone’s breath away. “Cindy?”
The woman sitting across from him didn’t move, just kept watching his daughter with that haunted expression on her face, making him wonder what she could possibly be thinking. It wasn’t happiness that had her so lost to him, not with that much pain in her expression, and he hoped she hadn’t once lost a child.
“Cindy.” It was as if she’d forgotten her name, which was ridiculous of course. Finally he reached across the table and removed her sunglasses, smiling when she seemed to nearly leap out of her skin. “You okay?”
She blinked and flushed. “Your daughter’s remarkable.”
“Yes, and expensive,” Stone said dryly, hoping to tease her out of whatever had disturbed her.
“She’s worth it.”
Her eyes were very dark, almost black, their rims reddened. “Are you a mom?”
“I...no.” Shaking her head, she said more firmly, “No. I’m not.”
The crazy urge to wrap his arms around her was strong, but it was far too soon for that. She didn’t wear a ring, although he knew that was no guarantee she was single. “Is there...someone...?” Lord, he felt awkward. He’d been off the dating track too long.
“There’s no one,” she said softly, staring at her hands as if they held the greatest interest
“Me, either,” he said, smiling when she shot him a look of profound relief. “And you have plenty of time left to have a child when you’re ready.”
Her smile turned rueful. “Am I that obvious?”
“Not at all. I just saw a flash of longing... Well, it takes a parent to recognize it.”
“You make a great father. I mean—” clearly embarrassed, she clenched her fingers together on the table “—you must be so proud.”
He was, but he refused to get caught in the easy trap of light conversation. Not when he was brimming with curiosity he couldn’t seem to ignore. “So, what is it that brings you to San Paso Bay?”
Again a quick flash of unease, almost fear, crossed her face. “I’m going to start a temp agency.”
Automatically reacting to her fear, Stone’s gaze scanned the crowd until he found Sara, safely playing, then he gave his attention back to Cindy. “In this little town?”
She lifted her chin, looking touchingly haughty and uncertain at the same time. “You don’t have one yet, you know. And neither Morro Heights nor El Tara, the two neighboring towns, have one, either. Which means there’s plenty of business.”
She spoke as if she had to convince him. “Okay.”
“I’ve researched carefully, and all three towns have plenty of growing industry. Actually the want ads are overwhelming. There’s enough to keep me busy.”
“I think it sounds good.”
“You do?”
He had no idea why that slight wobble in her voice so touched him. “You’ll do great.”
“I want to settle here—permanently.”
“It’s a nice place to live.”
“And raise kids?”
“Yes. Definitely. It’s a quiet safe town.”
“So safe you have to warn your daughter to stay in sight in a pizza joint filled with people you know?”
Damn, he hadn’t expected to be faced with his own fears, fears that went back ten years to a woman and to an event so horrifying it still dictated how he treated his daughter’s safety. “Maybe I’m just an overprotective parent.”
She gave him a long look. “The sad fact is, no town is completely safe.” Her weary tone said she knew that all too well. Her hands, active only a moment before, settled on the table. “There’s always trouble,” she said quietly. “And it can happen anywhere.”
Of course it was true, and how well he knew it. Even in San Paso Bay, bad things happened. It’d been a while since he’d dwelled on the scandal that had nearly destroyed him, that had driven the only woman he’d ever loved right out of his life. The circumstances had been out of their control, a cruelty from a most unexpected place, but it had happened and nothing could change it.
Jenna was long gone now. She’d not had enough belief in justice to see the crisis through. That, combined with the problem of getting pregnant too young, had made her fall apart.
Stone didn’t blame her for getting pregnant or even for the need to run. But he did blame her for not trusting him or herself enough to let their love prevail.
“I think it depends on your attitude,” he said carefully, “and how hard you try. If you’re looking for a new start, this is a great place to do it. Do you have family?”
She dropped her gaze, studied the tabletop. “Family?”
“As in people related to you?”
“Not really.”
“You’re so talkative,” he said, grinning.
She looked at him, startled, and finally seemed to realize he was teasing her. A reluctant smile tugged at her lips. “Okay, let me rephrase that,” she offered. “Yes, technically I have family. But we don’t act like family. Does that clear things up?”
If she’d asked him the same thing, his answer wouldn’t have been much different. Yes, he had family. But they didn’t want to be part of his life.
Simple as that.
“Clear as mud,” he said. “Where do you come from?”
She crossed her arms. Then, as if realizing what that gave away, she uncrossed them, making him smile sympathetically. She frowned at him in response. “You’re full of questions. And I don’t like to talk about myself.”
Maybe she’d been alone all her life, which would account for the way she protected herself. By keeping people at bay, she couldn’t get hurt.
He understood the philosophy. At one time, deserted by everyone he’d ever cared about, he might have gone down that same path. He hadn’t, partly because he was an innate people person. But mostly, despite what had happened to him, he believed people were basically good.
Maybe Cindy hadn’t learned that, and at the thought of someone hurting her, his chest tightened. He wanted her; he had from the first moment he’d seen her. But now that wanting changed, deepened into something else. Something sharper and more defined.
He wanted to protect her, and the fierceness of this desire was startling. Oh, he’d wanted women before, lots of them; it was just that never, since Jenna, had he felt it quite so piercingly. He didn’t stop to think about the significance of that; he simply absorbed it with his usual acceptance of change.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she whispered.
“Like what?”
“Like...you care.”
They stared at each other. “Because I do,” Stone finally said. “I look at you and I feel... something. I didn’t like it at first, which is why I took off on you at the beach. But now—now it makes me want to keep caring.”
Her mouth opened, then slowly closed. “You’re scaring me.”
“Well, that makes two of us,” he said.
Chapter 3 (#ulink_b20e6716-c066-5910-8dc3-25d75635c926)
“I don’t want this,” Cindy told him, shifting nervously. “I don’t want you to think I matter.”
“But you do matter.”
“I don’t...I shouldn’t,” she said, sounding a bit desperate.
“Of course you should.”
She stared at him, soaking it in. A disparaging sound escaped her. “Stone...”
He loved the sound of his name of her lips. Loved it, and wanted to hear it again. “What?”
“What am I doing?” She looked lost, confused. “I just came to watch a basketball game. Just wanted to acclimate myself, and now look at me.” She lifted a bewildered hand. “I’m...”
“You’re what?”
“I’m doing something I shouldn’t, that’s what.”
“Which is?”
“Wanting you.” As soon as the words left her, she slapped both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide and wild. She shook her head violently, as if denying what she’d just admitted. “I didn’t mean... I just meant... I’ve got to go.” She leaped to her feet. “I... Bye.”
Stone caught her just before she would have disappeared into the crowd. “Don’t.”
Her chest rose and fell as if she’d just raced a mile uphill. She glanced down at his hand on her, which he slowly ran down her forearm until their hands met. Hers was slender, delicate, easily swallowed up by his. Entwining their fingers, he squeezed gently. “I didn’t mean to scare you off. You came here to start over, and you’re doing fine. Don’t go yet.”
Her gaze jerked to his. “I never said I was starting over.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Well, yes, but—”
“And now we’ve met and you’re nervous. It’s sweet,” he said, smiling when she blushed. “But you’ll be okay. I know it seems unreal, but you’re not alone. Already you’re not alone.”
She stared at him with something akin to marvel. Again, just looking at her tugged at his heart, made him want to take her in his arms and never let go.
Which made no sense, none at all.
A waitress tried to move past them. Stone sat and pulled Cindy back down, this time in the same side of the booth as him. Their thighs brushed, and he felt his body react at just that innocent touch.
“I’d be okay alone, you know,” she said, not sounding nearly as confident as she clearly wanted to. She was nervous and frightened, a combination Stone could never fully resist because he knew well what it felt like.
“I’m used to it,” she added.
“Yeah. You’re fine.” He smiled. “You’re going to be okay. But you don’t have to be alone.”
“I don’t know what to say to you.”
“Say nothing.” He ran a thumb over her knuckles, enjoying the softness of her skin. “Just know I’m here if you need me and you’re going to do great.”
“I am.”
“I know.”
“It’s not going to be nearly as hard as it sounds.” Some of her enthusiasm came back. “I’ve had a lot of experience. I’ve worked temp jobs for years. It was a great way to travel and still have money. And I did some college at night, took some business classes. Plus, my initial investment is minimal and—”
“Cindy.”
“It only takes a small office and some know-how—”
“Cindy—”
“So I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure, too.” He narrowed his eyes, taking in the strain so evident on her pale face. “Hey... are you okay?”
“I...” A puff of air escaped her as she deflated. She set her forehead on the table. “I’m fine. Feeling stupid, but other than that, just fine.”
“Stupid?”
Pulling her hand free, she shot him a sheepish smile. “I don’t often unload on strangers, then admit to...well, you know.”
He grinned. “Wanting me?”
“Yes, that,” she said, rolling her eyes and looking away as a flush crept up her cheeks.
“Then, thank you.”
She gave a surprised little laugh. “I’m not sure what overcame me, telling a stranger...”
“I’m not a stranger anymore, not really.” He hesitated, wondering why he wanted her so much. It increased every time their gazes met, every second he spent with her. “Strange as it sounds, I never felt like we were strangers at all.”
She went still. “We should order the pizza. Now.” Managing a weak smile, she held up the menu.
Stone took it from her. “So, you want it all?”
Her bravado faltered. “Excuse me?”
He grinned. “On your pizza. You want everything on it.
A smile curved her lips then, the first genuine one he’d seen, and man, it was a stunner. It made it easy to throttle back and enjoy the evening, for although he hadn’t planned on becoming interested in a woman he suspected was chock-full of secrets and surprises, he also didn’t want to turn and walk away.
“Yes, everything,” she said, amusement in her eyes. “On the pizza, that is.”
And in that moment Stone knew that he wanted this woman in his life. It wasn’t wise, or even practical, because she wasn’t like his usual “safe” pick—a woman he couldn’t possibly fall for.
Truth was, for the first time ever he just might have found a woman to make him forget Jenna once and for all.
* * *
Several days went by before Jenna felt settled enough to face the task she’d been putting off since she’d arrived back in San Paso Bay.
Leaving her old life had not been much of a problem. For ten years she’d avoided emotional attachments like the plague because she hadn’t been able to trust anyone. No way would she risk her heart ever again, although now that vow made her angry at herself. She’d wasted so much time.
No longer.
Given the ridiculously huge amount she’d been awarded in her settlement, she didn’t have to work again a day in her life unless she wanted to—which she did. It had become vital to her mental health that she completely change her lifestyle. Not only did she want to face her past, but she wanted to settle here and earn her way.
And more than anything, she wanted Sara back in her life. She’d be lying if she didn’t also admit she wanted Stone in that life, as well, but just remembering what she’d blurted out at dinner had her face heating in mortification all over again.
She knew she couldn’t tell him who she was—not yet. Not until he knew she’d changed, that she was indeed a good person, though she herself was still working on really believing that.
While recuperating from that first meeting with her daughter and the man she’d never forgotten, Jenna enjoyed the wonderful cozy new house she’d purchased. It was on top of a hill overlooking the bay. Far below she could hear the ocean roar, watch the sun set on the water. It was a place that had represented happiness to her when she’d been a girl on the other side of the tracks, and it was still a comfy old elegant neighborhood.
While getting her life together, she planned to slowly furnish and decorate the house in hopes that someday Sara would want to visit her regularly, or even live with her part of the time—although Jenna was almost afraid to have hopes for that far in the future.
Today was the first day of the rest of her life, she decided. And to prove it, she was going to call her sister. Then she would go to the office she’d leased and set up her business, which she’d rented because it was in the same industrial park as Stone’s workshop.
Before she could lose her nerve, Jenna picked up the phone and dialed the number the detective had given her, her pulse beating hard in her ears.
Her palms went sweaty. Her stomach hurt.
By the time she heard the soft-spoken hello, Jenna’s heart was pounding so loudly she almost couldn’t hear herself think.
“Hello?” Kristen repeated, clearly annoyed. “Is anyone there?”
“Hello, Kristen. It’s me...Jenna.”
“Jenna?” She heard the audible click of a breath being caught. “Really? Jenna? Oh, my God—” Kristen broke off so abruptly it was as if she’d covered her mouth to hold all noise in.
Jenna squeezed her eyes shut as pain sliced through her. She’d known, hadn’t she? She’d known she wouldn’t be welcomed back with open arms.
Two years older than she, Kristen had run in a completely separate circle. They’d never been close, mostly, Jenna realized now, because she had done everything in her power to push her perfect older sister away so that she could wallow in self-pity—self-pity over never being able to please her mother.
Jenna truly regretted that now, for Kristen could have been an ally in those terrible times, but it was too late. Far too late. Kristen didn’t want to talk to her.
“I’m sorry,” Jenna whispered. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, about how things used to be.” She couldn’t even hear Kristen breathing. “I... I remember telling you I hated you.” The shame nearly killed her, but she had to say it quickly before Kristen hung up. Even if they never spoke again, Jenna had to get it out. “I didn’t mean it, Kristen, I didn’t. It’s just that I was so angry... I took it out on you.”
A pained sound came over the phone.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Jenna said, closing her eyes. “I never meant to.”
Another indescribable sound. A muffled sob?
Jenna’s throat burned. Her eyes stung, and dammit, she shouldn’t have put in her contact lenses, should have worn the thick glasses she kept in her purse for emergencies. “I shouldn’t have called—”
“No,” Kristen finally managed. She gulped, sniffed and then gulped again.
Her sister was crying. Damn, she was no good at this. “Kristen.” What else could she say? What? “Please, oh, please, don’t cry. I’m so sorry.”
“Jenna.” Kristen sniffed and sighed. “Oh, honey, I’m glad it’s you. I’ve been wanting...” She drew a ragged breath. “I’ve been hoping you’d call me someday.”
Jenna’s head swam as spots of relief blurred her vision. “You’re...glad? You’re sure? I thought at first, when you didn’t say anything... I nearly hung up, I’m so nervous.”
“No, oh, no,” Kristen said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel... God. I’m just so relieved, so happy, I couldn’t talk for a minute.” Apparently she no longer had that problem. “Where have you been, Jenna?” Kristen’s voice gained momentum as she regained her power of speech, though she still spoke in a tear-filled shaky voice. “And why haven’t you called before? I’ve been looking for you. For years. Years.”
“You have?”
“Yes. Say something else, just so I know I’m not dreaming.”
The fist around Jenna’s heart loosened. “You sound the same. Perfect.”
“You don’t sound the same at all.”
Jenna would never sound the same again, thanks to the accident, but she didn’t want to talk about that now. “You’re sure? You’re really glad I called?”
“Yes! Where are you? Don’t you dare hang up until you tell me, okay? Please, Jenna, let me see you.”
Jenna hesitated, not because she didn’t want to see her sister, but because she was so stunned.
“Jenna! You are going to let me see you?”
Jenna opened her mouth, uncertain how to prepare her sister.
Kristen started to cry. “Please?”
“Kristen,” Jenna whispered, blinking hard as her sister’s soft sobs sounded in her ears. “Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. Oh, God, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t...don’t be.” Now she laughed, and that, mixed with the crying, made her difficult to understand, but suddenly Jenna didn’t care because she was laughing and crying at the same time, too.
“I’m just so relieved you’re okay,” Kristen gasped. “And you’re alive. I didn’t know, and—”
“I’m alive.”
“It feels so good to hear you. Jenna, we never talked about what happened—about that big fight with Mom, and then...”
Yeah. And then.
They were both silent as Jenna pushed away the memory of the sexual abuse and then the humiliation that followed.
“And then you got pregnant,” Kristen said quietly. “After that, you were gone.”
The trouble had started about nine months before Jenna had actually left, on a night her mother’s lover had tried to do more than just touch. Again her mother hadn’t believed her, leaving Jenna no choice but to run away for the umpteenth time. She’d run to Stone, and that night they’d become lovers. What they’d shared had been magical, so perfect she’d never been able to get it out of her head, which meant, of course, that the few relationships she’d attempted since had paled in comparison.
Stone had really, truly loved her, and when Jenna realized that, it had terrified her. So had the ensuing scandal when Rand Ridgeway had gone public with his claim that Jenna had tried to seduce him, cleverly turning the tables on the terrified girl she’d been.
“I never meant to judge you, Jenna.”
“I was seventeen and pregnant,” Jenna said flatly into the phone. “Everyone judged me. Not just you and Mom.”
“I’m so sorry for that,” Kristen said in a barely audible voice. “As soon as I was old enough to really understand how terrified and alone you must have felt, I regretted not trying harder to help you. What did you do?”
“I flipped out,” Jenna whispered. “Really flipped out. Just like everyone else. Except Stone.” He’d been her rock, so strong, so caring. When everyone else had pointed fingers and snickered, suggesting she deserved her fate, Stone had stood like a pillar beside her. Her own mother had kicked her out, telling her to never come back. Jenna had been so stubborn, so filled with rage. She had baited her mother, letting her think she’d been sleeping around. That she hadn’t known who the father of her baby was. Jenna had no idea why, except that she’d needed to prove something.
All she’d proved was that she was an idiot.
“Stone would have married me,” she told Kristen now. “He wanted to. But I...”
“You couldn’t handle it? Oh, Jenna, no one could have. It’s all right.”
Jenna had hated herself and everyone around her. “I just ran.” It had been easier for her to do so, although she flinched at the pain of it. At the unbearable agony she’d felt the day she’d sneaked out of the hospital after giving birth. She hadn’t looked back and had made sure to keep herself in enough trouble that she knew they wouldn’t want her back.
Until the accident. Until her second chance.
“You can come back now, Jenna, can’t you?”
Hadn’t she thought about little else? “Yes. I wasn’t sure you’d want to talk to me.”
“I want more than that,” Kristen demanded suddenly, her voice filled with a smile. “Just tell me—when can we see each other?”
“Well...” Jenna walked with the portable phone into her bathroom to glance at herself in the vanity mirror above the sink.
A stranger stared back. A stranger with tentative hope in her eyes and a rare smile on her lips.
“Jenna! You are going to let me see you, aren’t you?”
“There’s something you should know first.” Jenna bit her lip to keep back her nervous laughter. If she gave in to hysterics now, she’d probably never be able to stop. “And it’s sort of a biggie.”
“What? You can tell me anything. Anything.”
“Okay.” Jenna stared at her completely new face. “But you’d better sit down first. I’ve got a shocker for you.”
“Jenna.” Kristen laughed, and the years between them fell away. “Nothing you could tell me will come as a shock, believe me.”
Jenna smiled into the mirror. “Wanna bet?”
* * *
“I can have the new prototypes ready in—” Stone leaned back to study his calendar “—four weeks tops.” He hadn’t started on them yet—he’d been so busy with other work—but the order was a good one, and he would love the job of creating life-size wooden puzzles to tickle the minds of gifted second graders.
“No, three weeks isn’t enough time,” he said firmly. He had his annual auction coming up, where he donated his creations to child-development centers all over the country. That would keep him busy.
His one-man shop was quickly growing by leaps and bounds, making him thankful he’d gone with his gut instinct six years before, giving up a promising career in architecture. What he did now was infinitely more rewarding.
Still listening to his customer, he reached for his unopened mail. Flipping past the bills, he smiled at an envelope from an old college buddy who also created prototypes—condom prototypes.
It was time to admit he needed help, Stone thought as he opened the envelope. He had for some time now. It was just a matter of hiring a clerk to help with the paperwork, but somehow, he just never got around to it.
Laughter bubbled as a small foil-wrapped package fell into his hands from the envelope. The stick-it note attached read: “Hey, Buddy—thought you might appreciate my latest in the high-tech world of prophylactics.”
Stone lifted the note off and gaped. The condom was plaid.
Grinning, Stone tossed the thing in his drawer and forced himself to concentrate on his telephone conversation. “Should I ship to the individual schools, or do you want them all to go to you?” he asked, and then immediately shook his head. “No, I can’t deliver them in person. Sorry.”
He refused to travel because it meant leaving Sara, something he couldn’t bring himself to do. Yes, they had Mrs. Potts, who would be happy to fill in for him. But Sara hated it when he left. She became weepy, difficult. Clingy.
Stone considered himself pretty tough, but he caved in like putty when it came to Sara. Watching her regress because of his own actions tore at him. No doubt Sara was afraid of losing him, the only real solid presence in her life, something Stone understood all too well. He hated the thought of being separated from her for days at a time, hated what it did to her, so would do just about anything to ensure it didn’t happen. It hadn’t been difficult to come to an important business decision.
If people wanted his educational products in their schools—and he had to believe they did, since they constantly clamored for him to hurry up and build more—then they had to agree to his terms.
He didn’t travel.
Which didn’t ease his ever-growing fear.
What if something did happen to him? Auto accident, illness—it could be anything. And when he was gone, Sara would be all alone. He’d started to lie awake nights worrying about it, and he knew he had to come up with a plan. A will.
He had to guarantee Sara’s safety and care.
He’d put it off for too long now, simply because he hated to admit that he didn’t know what to do. Turning to his family was out of the question.
Ten years ago, when Jenna had gotten pregnant, his family had surprised and shocked him by refusing to believe Sara was his child.
Though Stone tried to tell them the truth, they turned a deaf ear. Jenna’s trouble, they’d said.
Look at the scandal, they’d said.
You’re a fool, they’d said.
Stubbornly he’d stood by Jenna, knowing the truth.
Sara was his child.
Though Jenna had put on a tough front, she’d let Stone see past her wild ways. She’d shown the real Jenna to him, and Stone had loved that frightened, uncertain, self-conscious Jenna with all his heart.
She’d been a virgin the night she and Stone had first made love, and though they’d used protection, somehow she’d gotten pregnant—with his child.
Stone’s family refused to listen to reason. They were wealthy, disdainful of scandal of any kind, and though he’d once thought of them as loving giving people, the truth was, they were snobs. It’d been a huge shock and major disappointment to Stone, but they’d stood firm. If he kept the baby, he’d be disowned. Stone had loved Jenna, loved their unborn baby, but even if he hadn’t, he wanted to be responsible for his actions. He’d kept his baby, for he could do nothing else.
And he ended up with no family, no Jenna, no money. Just Sara. Somehow they’d made it, and God, he didn’t want to remember those first months, how nightmarish they’d been, but he’d done it. They’d done it.
He and Sara were a family now, and it rankled like hell that he, after all this time, needed his parents.
They didn’t need him in return. They had Richard, and Stone knew his brother had never married. He’d never had any kids.
Which meant Sara was the only grandchild his parents had.
How could they ignore that?
How could they ignore her?
Stone continued to listen with half an ear as his client rambled on about the product he was buying, watching with detached interest out his window as two doors down from him, a moving truck pulled up.
A new neighbor.
The back of the truck opened, and two beefy men started to unload. An oak desk and chair. An elaborate computer system. An expensive-looking couch and matching chairs. A huge bulletin board, filing cabinet.
And Cindy Beatty.
Chapter 4 (#ulink_ba1ed7c6-ef71-5b0f-a39f-01da142cb6e8)
Cindy Beatty?
Stone set his feet back on the floor, made quick excuses to his client before hanging up and left his office.
His heart thundered uncomfortably. Truth was, he’d not stopped thinking about this woman since they’d met, which was enough to make him wonder what the hell was wrong with him.
Rarely, if ever, had he let one woman intrude so on his private life. Driven by a need to see if their crazy attraction was real, he walked toward her, his gaze soaking in the first sight of her in days.
She looked the same—irresistible, and any hopes he’d held that he’d be able to turn and walk away were dashed.
Her black jeans outlined her thoroughbred legs to perfection. Her lightweight sweater clung to her soft curves in a way that made him ache, and he came to the uncomfortable realization that he was hopelessly attracted to her.
And he had no idea why.
Never one to run from his fears, he continued toward her. He wanted to see her face, watch her lips curve into a shy smile. He wanted to know her innermost thoughts.
But she was wearing those damn dark glasses, hiding herself from the world. Absorbed in watching the truck unload, she didn’t look up when he stopped next to her. “Hello,” he said. “What’s this?”
She gave a startled little jump. “Oh!” With her hand to her chest, she offered him that tentative smile he’d wanted to see. “Uh...hi.”
“Hi.” She could still do it, he discovered. Still make his heart skip a beat.
“You scared me.”
Vulnerable but determined, hesitant but brave. Such a contradiction, and yet it had been so damn long since he’d wanted to touch anyone quite as badly. Like a hormone-filled teen, he had to slip his hands in his pockets, or he would have actually reached for her. “What are you doing?”
“I’m moving in.” Her smile brightened, and on the surface she appeared to be fine. Great. Mouthwateringly beautiful, actually.
But only an idiot could miss the quivering tension in every line of her body, the delicate purple circles beneath her eyes makeup had not successfully covered. Truth was, tension shimmered off her in waves, and even as he looked at her, she lifted a hand to cover one side of her face and jaw.
He gently took her hand away from her face and brought it to his mouth. She gasped as he kissed her palm.
“Why do you cover your face?” he asked. “You’re so lovely.”
“I... You...” She let out a breath and stared at her hand in his. “You make it difficult to think.”
And she made his heart drum. “You’re opening your office here?” he asked, letting her go. “This is an industrial park.”
“It’s small and affordable. And it’s perfect, actually. Centrally located.” She looked away. “And most of my business will come from the industry around here, anyway.”
“Was that the only reason?”
She regarded the tall oak tree lining the parking lot as if it held the greatest interest. “Not quite.”
Stone had no idea how he felt about her silent admission that she had picked this spot because of him. Disturbed? Wanted? Wary? Appreciated? All those things, yes, but what he felt mostly was relief.
She scraped her teeth over her lip, drawing the skin on her chin tight. And there, on her neck above the scarf, he saw a faint weblike scar that spread... With a gentle hand he brushed her scarf aside. His heart beat faster as he realized the scars spread along both sides of her jaw, and disappeared into her hairline behind her ears.
He jerked his gaze up, meeting her sunglasses-covered eyes, horrified to be caught gaping, even more horrified at whatever it was she’d gone through. “Cindy...”
She took a step back, bringing her hand up to cup her cheek, an instinctive move on her part whenever she was nervous or upset.
Now he knew why. She was trying to hide her scars. God.
“Hey, lady, where do you want this?”
Cindy quickly turned from Stone, clearly jumping at the chance for distraction. One of the men stood there holding two large boxes. Practically falling in her hurry to get away from Stone, she smiled shakily at the mover. “Next to the filing cabinet Thanks. Is there more? Maybe I should help...”
The man shook his head and disappeared into the office.
They were again alone, yet for the first time in his life, Stone didn’t know what to do or say. He wanted to grab her, hold tight and offer comfort, but more than that, he didn’t want to scare her off, and since at the moment Cindy appeared to be braced for flight, he had to be careful.
Her head was ducked, she was busy studying her shoes. Slowly, gently, he ran his hand over her silky short hair, tucking a strand behind her ear before he cupped her jaw and lifted her face. Stroking her skin with his thumb, he murmured, “What happened to you?”
Immediately Cindy looked away.
But Stone forced her chin back up, his clasp on her face firm yet careful, for he was well aware of his strength in a way that most men his size weren’t.
She shrugged. “The how of it is not important.”
Stone thought it was important. “Cindy—”
“Please.”
Imagining the pain and trauma of whatever she’d been through to cause such scarring made him feel sick for her. But he could see that his closeness was unnerving her, so he backed off.
She straightened the damn sunglasses he was beginning to hate. “Because of it, I’m here,” she said simply. “Okay?”
“So there’s a silver lining.”
A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “Let’s call it a mixed blessing so far. I hope it won’t disturb you, having me nearby every day.”
He laughed shortly and rolled his shoulders, which were filled with tension. “Disturb me? You’ve done nothing but.” His easy joking tone was such a complete contradiction to his words, her gaze flew to his. “You disturb me a lot,” he told her more seriously. “But I think I like it.”
Again she gnawed on her lip, and he had the crazy urge to lean forward and put his mouth just there, to that same spot, and nibble her himself. “I wish I knew more about you,” he said, instead. “Why won’t you talk about yourself? About where you come from?”
“It’s not easy to talk about.” She watched the men removing her things from the truck.
“I’m sorry.” And he was, though the enormity of it, and what he felt for her, no longer surprised him. “You’ve had it rough?”
“You...might say that.”
“No family to help you out?”
“None that would.” She tilted her head and regarded him. “I wasn’t always a nice person, Stone.”
“We’ve all made mistakes.”
“Mine are pretty big.” Drawing a deep breath, she let her words out in a rush, as if expecting him to run off in horror. “I was an angry unhappy kid. I hurt a lot of people, and now those people are likely to hate me.”
“People forgive.”
She stared at him, her expression suddenly filled with so much hope, it almost hurt to look at her. “I’d like to think that’s true,” she said. “I’d like to be able to fix some of my wrongs. Make them right someday.”
“You can do anything you want to do,” he told her. “Especially that.” Her lack of confidence tore at him. Then the men were back with a couch, and Stone took her elbow, drawing her out of their way, even as they both held their breaths at the touch. “I think you’re a wonderful person, Cindy. Others would think it, too, if you gave them a chance.”
“Yeah, well. That’s easier said than done,” she muttered.
He shook his head, smiling. “You need more belief in yourself. Hasn’t anyone ever told you what a really great person you are?”
Not since you, Jenna wanted to cry. Her chest ached with the need to let out some emotion, but she beat it back.
“You are,” Stone said in that dark seductive voice. “Give yourself a break once in a while, okay?”
He didn’t understand. Couldn’t, because she hadn’t been honest. But his generosity of heart nearly broke her. “I have no idea why I thought this would be a good thing.” Shaken, she took a step backward, away from him.
Stone snagged her hand. “Wait,” he said, holding gently but firmly when she would have fled. “I know this is crazy, but there’s something between us already.”
“But I don’t like it,” she blurted.
A smile tugged at his provocative mouth. “Doesn’t seem to matter. We’re attracted to each other, wildly so.” His low rough voice and the admission of his feelings thrilled her. “And as much as we might want to ignore it, it isn’t going to go away.”
She swallowed hard, but didn’t object when he stepped closer, still holding her hand. He seemed so big, so powerful... so unbearably sexy, and he was doing nothing but looking at her, but it was that look, the one that made her knees weak.
Anyone could walk by and see them, see the sexual tension flickering between them like electricity. Heat flooded her face, but Stone appeared unconcerned. And he would be, she thought ruefully, for Stone was not a man to worry about what others thought, not as long as he was doing what he felt was right. He’d always been incredibly strong-willed that way. Even coming from the conservative background he had, Stone Cameron had always marched to his own beat, and it appeared he still did.
Their clothing brushed, clung, and he tipped his head down a bit. “We might as well explore it,” he said huskily.
As they once had. She remembered so well—too well.
And suddenly she was there, back in time, back to when Rand Ridgeway had nearly raped her. He would have, if her mother hadn’t come home, but instead of sympathizing, she’d hit Jenna for telling lies.
Jenna had been in her tree by the beach, high above the ground, crying and holding her aching jaw when Stone had found her.
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Jill Shalvis
A classic novel of second chances and redemption from New York Times best-selling author Jill Shalvis.Single mom Jenna Loggins came from the wrong side of the tracks, but she'd vowed to give her beloved baby a better life. So ten years ago desperate Jenna fled, leaving her daughter in the care of Stone Cameron, the child's father and the son of the richest family in town.But a near-fatal car crash has given Jenna a second chance to make things right for the man and the child she loved but left behind. Now Jenna's back—with a new name and face—and Stone is drawn to the mysterious beauty. Can Jenna risk telling Stone and her daughter the truth, or will she have to hide behind the face of a stranger forever?
A classic novel of second chances and redemption from New York Times bestselling author Jill Shalvis.
Single mom Jenna Loggins came from the wrong side of the tracks, but she’d vowed to give her beloved baby a better life. So ten years ago desperate Jenna fled, leaving her daughter in the care of Stone Cameron, the child’s father and the son of the richest family in town.
But a near-fatal car crash has given Jenna a second chance to make things right for the man and the child she loved but left behind. Now Jenna’s back—with a new name and face—and Stone is drawn to the mysterious beauty. Can Jenna risk telling Stone and her daughter the truth, or will she have to hide behind the face of a stranger forever?
Her goal hadn’t changed,
Jenna reassured herself as she watched Stone move toward her. She still wanted to atone for the things she’d done. But if she told Stone the truth about who she was, he would turn from her, his eyes icy and distant.
But as Cindy Beatty, a complete stranger, she could do anything.
Stone held her gaze as he came close. Jenna couldn’t have looked away to save her life, not when so pinned by his burning intensity.
And she knew by the very power of what shimmered between them that it was the same for him—except he had no idea that this...thing between them was not new, that it had been there since the very beginning.
“Hello,” Stone said in that voice like dark honey. “It’s... Cindy, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she murmured, sealing her fate with yet another lie. “It’s Cindy.”
Dear Reader (#ulink_9e4d15b7-1e6b-5d04-beb2-f43a953a763d),
Happy New Year! And welcome to another month of great reading from Silhouette Intimate Moments, just perfect for sitting back after the hectic holidays. You’ll love Marilyn Pappano’s Murphy’s Law, a MEN IN BLUE title set in New Orleans, with all that city’s trademark steam. You’ll remember Jack Murphy and Evie DesJardiens long after you put down this book, I promise you.
We’ve got some great miniseries titles this month, too. Welcome back to Carla Cassidy’s Western town of MUSTANG, MONTANA in Code Name: Cowboy. Then pay a visit to Margaret Watson’s CAMERON, UTAH in Cowboy with a Badge. And of course, don’t forget our other titles this month. Look for Dangerous To Love, by Sally Tyler Hayes, a book whose title I personally find irresistible. And we’ve got books from a couple of our newest stars, too. Jill Shalvis checks in with Long-Lost Mom, and Virginia Kantra pens our FAMILIES ARE FOREVER title, The Passion of Patrick MacNeill.
Enjoy them all—and be sure to come back next month for more of the most exciting romantic reading around, right here in Silhouette Intimate Moments.
Yours,
Leslie J. Wainger
Executive Senior Editor
Long-Lost Mom
Jill Shalvis
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
JILL SHALVIS
When pressed for an answer on why she writes romance, Jill Shalvis just smiles and says she didn’t realize there was anything else. She’s written over a dozen novels so far, and doesn’t plan on stopping. She lives in California, in a house filled with young children, too many animals and her hero/husband.
To Matrice, for believing in me, even when I didn’t. Thank you!
Table of Contents
Cover (#u2f313a51-3a18-5669-9700-734eedf22580)
Back Cover Text (#ubecb05fb-eba2-5b9d-88ab-11a056772158)
Introduction (#u28422e9f-e208-556e-b816-5b8b4ff821b5)
Letter to Reader (#u9bd48b6f-52f0-5f20-9f65-6ed9d9951ea9)
Title Page (#u92dec41a-8881-5131-8008-75cb1f938f6c)
About the Author (#u389b9f7f-1de3-54fa-8a8b-73ec18d661a8)
Dedication (#u1e5d5bea-d422-5ba3-a03e-4a83464b8c97)
Chapter 1 (#udc8c3d51-9c4b-52b2-b7eb-79c33c66ed1c)
Chapter 2 (#ubf62297c-f88f-545e-a49c-1964db13c029)
Chapter 3 (#ucff8999c-246a-5bdc-86c4-f1322b28b336)
Chapter 4 (#u20c51243-bad4-53ab-a3f4-b885fa566002)
Chapter 5 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 6 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 7 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 8 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 9 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 13 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 14 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 15 (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 1 (#ulink_133b57ff-3d3b-526d-a65f-3fca48b2ccb6)
He came every year without fail. Same day, same time, and he wondered, as he always did, if Jenna knew it. If she was haunted by their past, too.
Of course she wasn’t, and never had been.
Annoyed at himself, Stone Cameron tossed a curious squirrel a handful of his trail mix. “This is the last year I do this,” he told the animal over the roar of the surf.
The squirrel sat up on its haunches, hoping for more.
Stone tossed some more food, then laughed in spite of himself when the greedy thing tried to eat it all on the spot.
“Oh...my God.”
At the soft gasp Stone shifted on the large rock and looked over his shoulder.
A woman stood on the sand of the deserted beach, covered from head to toe in black. Black trousers, black hooded wool coat, gloves and boots. The early-morning spring sun spilled over her, bathing her in a golden glow, and for an instant she looked so familiar his heart all but stopped.
Jenna.
A shaft of pain sliced through him, neatly destroying his calm. For a moment he’d thought she’d come back, but he knew now that was impossible.
Jenna Loggins was gone. Long gone.
And he was glad.
The woman standing before him appeared rigid, practically unbreathing. All he could see of her was her nose, but somehow it was enough to know she was deeply troubled.
Great. For the past ten years Stone had made it a habit to stay away from women in distress. Far away.
The woman, medium height and willowy as a reed, suddenly swayed on her feet as though feeling faint.
Dammit. “Are you all right?” His voice was rougher and grittier than he would have liked, but sitting here, in this precise spot, where he hadn’t been in an entire year, was tearing his guts out.
She nodded, then raised a glove-covered hand to her face. Behind her mirrored sunglasses he sensed her intense unwavering stare, which he returned.
She didn’t look all right, although he couldn’t see her well at all, just a vague impression of porcelain skin, carefully painted lips and shuttered eyes. “Maybe you should sit down,” he suggested, shifting over on the large rock. There was ample room for two.
Slowly, as if in a trance, the woman walked around the rock to face him. For a long minute she said nothing, did nothing, just stared at him.
And despite Stone’s resolve to be alone and miserable on this day, something about the woman caused a stir deep within him. It wasn’t her body; he couldn’t see it clearly. It certainly wasn’t the face she’d hidden from him with such care. No, it was something much more profound, and it disturbed him in a way he hadn’t been disturbed in some time.
He was inexplicably aware of her as a woman. And he didn’t want to be. God, he so didn’t want to be.
“I...can’t believe it,” she whispered.
Neither could he, but he couldn’t deny it. Some silent connection was drawing him to her.
The squirrel, clearly sensing snack time had come to an end, took off, chattering loudly, and disappeared into the thick woods lining the California beach. The noise seemed to snap the woman out of her spell. Again she lifted a hand to one cheek as if protecting herself from his gaze. Stone couldn’t see her eyes behind the reflective sunglasses, but he knew she stared at him as if waiting for something.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” The minute the words were out he wished them back. Would he never learn to stop trying to fix everyone’s problems but his own?
“You...don’t know me.”
She sounded so shocked that Stone took a closer look. Her hood had fallen back some, revealing a crop of fawn-colored hair, artfully cut to fall in soft waves about her face—a face still more than half-covered by her scarf and the tilt of her head, almost as though she was afraid he would recognize her.
He didn’t.
A horrible bone-seizing tension seem to grip her, a tension he didn’t understand and told himself he didn’t want to.
“Don’t tell me you have amnesia,” he quipped, trying to lighten the mood, when in fact, for some reason, he really wanted to take her hand and tell her everything would be okay.
He was an idiot.
“No, I don’t have amnesia. But...” Her voice trailed off and her mouth closed tight. Suddenly she sank onto the rock beside him. “You... I’m a stranger to you.” As if she realized how much she’d revealed, she dragged her hood back over her head and hugged herself with her arms. “A complete stranger.”
“We can fix that easily enough,” he said, disturbed by the anguish in her voice. “I’m Stone Cameron. And you’re...”
“I’m...” She hesitated so long Stone became convinced she wasn’t going to tell him. She continued to regard him intently, as if he could fill in the blank for her. “Cindy,” she said finally, almost regretfully. “My name is Cindy Beatty.”
A lie. He knew it even before she refused to meet his gaze. And just that quickly, his sympathy and curiosity vanished, for he’d had enough of that sort of woman to last him a lifetime. Standing abruptly, he shrugged into his jacket and without another word started walking away, across the sand, toward the steep stairs that led to his truck.
“You’re...leaving?” The last word was a squeak of surprise.
“Yes. Goodbye,” he added politely, unwilling, even in the face of her lie, to be completely rude. Hardening himself to the pained disbelief in her voice, Stone forced himself to keep walking. His reaction was ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop himself.
Not on this day.
* * *
She’d lied, and hated herself for it. Still, Jenna watched him go with hungry eyes, suddenly transported back in time. Ten years since she’d seen him. He’d been the most coolheaded, most strong-willed and honest man she’d ever known. That had obviously not changed with time, for she knew he’d sensed her lie.
Heart aching, she watched his broad-shouldered form slowly disappear from sight. Physically he’d changed little. His laugh lines were deeper, his eyes a bit more cynical, and he wasn’t as lanky, almost gawky, as he’d been at twenty. But he still possessed a raw sensuality that tugged at some elementary core of her, and his body was still honed to a lean toughness by the physical labor he’d done to put himself through college.
She’d gotten that tidbit from the detective she’d hired, and her heart had nearly broken. For it had been her fault that he’d had to work so hard back then.
Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.
The words repeated like a mantra through her head, mixing with the crashing waves.
Why hadn’t she told him the truth just now? Why had she reverted to the young girl of her past and taken the easy way out, using the name she’d adopted for herself—Cindy Beatty?
She could have told him about the car accident that had changed her life. Yes, she’d nearly died—should have died. Instead, she’d been given a new lease on life. A chance to right her wrongs, of which there were an unfortunate many. And oh, yes, thanks to plowing face first through her windshield and then having three cosmetic surgeries to repair the damage, she had a new face with which to do it.
Jenna had waited until today, her twenty-seventh birthday, to make the final move, to come back to San Paso Bay, midway up the California coast and get what she’d always dreamed of.
Forgiveness. And her daughter.
A new birthday, a new beginning.
She hoped.
But sitting on the rock that had once been hers and Stone’s safe haven, all she could think of was how it’d been one of the last times she’d seen Stone. The way he looked without the restriction of any clothes covering that surprisingly savage strength. What she would give to feel him pressed against her, to have his hard arms encircle her body and tighten around her until...
She was crazy thinking like this. Crazy. Drawing a shaky breath, Jenna cleared her head and forced her thoughts in a different direction.
She had to right some of her wrongs, and as hard as it would be, she had to tell everyone who she was.
Or did she?
Confused and surprisingly hurt, she stared at the stairs up which Stone had disappeared.
The detective she’d hired had done his job. She knew all the paper facts about Stone and his daughter—her daughter knew where they lived, what he did for a living, what he drove, and still it wasn’t enough. She yearned for more. She yearned to see her child.
For that, Jenna needed forgiveness. And Stone—she needed him, too. He’d looked so good. So big and powerful and darkly beautiful. So... hers. Only he would never be hers again. She’d seen to that ten years ago, when she’d run from both of them like the frightened seventeen-year-old she’d been. The ache in her heart was so sharp it almost doubled her over.
So did the shock of him not recognizing her—an additionally painful and deflating blow.
Well, what had she expected? A jagged windshield tearing off her face hadn’t helped any. Neither had the reconstructive surgeries or the way her hair had returned darker after being shaved in pre-op. And no one would recognize her voice, which was now throatier—even sexier—thanks to her voice box also being damaged in the accident. But most of all she blamed the ten years that had passed so quickly since she’d left the small town nestled on the California coast.
“It’ll be okay,” she whispered. Stone, in spite of his inner toughness and sometimes blunt nature, was a gentleman at heart. No matter how much rage and resentment he’d built up against her—and she was certain there was plenty—his sense of decency and honor would prevail. He had a will of iron and a stubborn streak to go along with it, but regardless, Stone was honest to a fault.
Unlike her.
At the thought, the tears she’d been barely holding back began to fall.
* * *
Late that afternoon Stone flipped up the page on the calendar and drew a ragged breath as he reminded himself what he already knew.
Jenna’s birthday.
She’d be... He pretended to count. As though he’d forgotten it’d been ten years since he’d last laid eyes on her.
She’d be twenty-seven now. And he wondered, as he often did, what she was doing. She wasn’t living in a small town enjoying the quaint lifestyle, that was for certain. Jenna had never been one for restrictions of any kind, and San Paso Bay, a typical small town, certainly posed them. Stone found the place refreshing and real compared with the bigger cities of the world, but he knew Jenna would be doing something entirely different.
Such as hang gliding off the Angeles Crest. Or sky diving in the Mojave Desert. Maybe even mountain climbing in Tibet. Wait—this was the nineties. She was probably bungee jumping off the Golden Gate bridge or extreme skiing in the Canadian Rockies.
In the quiet of his shop Stone felt his anger swell up once again and grab him by the throat.
He turned abruptly from the calendar.
This date always got him, left him feeling as though he’d just taken a sucker punch to the solar plexus. Always left him drowning in a sea of furious emotion that time never seemed to ease. But it was just this one day, he told himself. All the other days of the year he was perfectly fine.
Yet he went to the beach—their beach—on this day every year at dawn. Just as they had together... The pencil he held snapped. He couldn’t keep doing this.
Look what had happened to him this morning with that woman. Hours later, and he was still thinking about the mysterious Cindy Beatty.
Purposely Stone drew a deep breath and let his surroundings calm him. Toy Station, his pride and joy, never failed him. Some said he wasted his talent as an architect designing and building educational toys for gifted children, which he insisted on making by hand for classrooms all over the globe. Others rumored he’d been disinherited by his rich family and therefore had to spend every day working his fingers to the bone.
It was true, all of it. But Stone loved his life. Loved his work.
And loved...
Sara rushed into Toy Station with a wide grin on her face.
Sara. Just the sight of her completed his thought. He loved his daughter.
“Didja get it?” She bounced from one foot to the other like a Ping-Pong ball. “Didja? Didja?”
“Get what?”
“Daddyyyyy!”
Smiling, he handed her the one-hour-photo envelope.
“Cool!” She tore open the envelope, then flipped through each shot, giggling at some, making faces at others. “Come look. I’m getting good.”
Stone glanced down at the mostly blurred and very unbalanced shots, some with suspicious-looking smudges that might have been a finger on the lens, and nodded seriously. “Very,” he said encouragingly.
“Look, there’s Sally pretending my teddy is her daddy. She doesn’t see him since he remarried, so I told her it was okay to pretend, just like I do about Mommy.”
Stone held his tongue, but it was difficult because anger nearly choked him. He had no patience for people who turned away from family. To him, family was everything. Family took care of their own, or rather, they should. It was that simple. Maybe he was just old-fashioned, but it was the way he felt, and he knew nothing would ever change that.
Unfortunately, he also knew that things rarely happened as they should. “Bring Sally over here, Sara. We’ll be her family anytime she needs us. Okay?”
Her smile lit his heart. “’Kay.”
“So what was your hurry to have the pictures developed?”
She didn’t answer, but pulled out the last photograph with a frown. “Oh, Daddy. I can’t believe you took this one.” She moaned theatrically, as only a ten-year-old can do.
Stone glanced at the photo causing the distress and laughed. “This is my proof,” he teased, tugging on a loose curl the color of coal. “You helped me paint your bedroom. You picked out those horrid colors.” He shook his head. “Chartreuse, of all things.”
Sara snickered.
“Anyway, I needed the snapshot so that in three months, when you come to me with those big baby blues begging for yet another color change, I can pull it out and remind you—this was what you wanted. You wanted it so badly you helped paint it.”
“Oh, Daddy.”
“You already said that.” Stone moved away, heading toward the back of the workshop where he did most of his designing. “You never told me what your hurry was.”
“My album,” she said in a soft dreamy voice that made him turn back to look at her. “I want my photo album to be complete when Mommy comes back.”
His heart stopped. A new wave of rage at Jenna hit him. “Honey...” Hard to talk when his lungs wouldn’t expand, he discovered. “Sara—”
“It’s her birthday today.”
“Yes,” he managed.
She met his unsteady gaze with eyes wise beyond their years. “I know what you told me,” she whispered from the other side of the store, but he caught every word. “That you don’t think she’s ever coming back.”
God. “I’m sorry, Sara—”
“And I know you don’t want me to think about her, but I can’t help it. I want her to come back.”
“Oh, baby.” He sighed and moved toward her. Thankfully he had no meeting, no customers, so there would be no nosy ears listening to this. Gently he took Sara’s shoulders and waited until she looked at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking about her?”
“Because it hurts you.” Sara, her wide eyes sheened with unshed tears, sniffed loudly. “I hate it when you hurt.”
She hadn’t cried about her mother for some time, and Stone was furious at himself for not noticing sooner that she needed him. “Sara...” Was it possible to feel such overwhelming love for a small child, so much that it was a physical pain? “I don’t want you to keep things inside, ever.” He cupped her chin and kissed her nose. “Even if you think it’s going to hurt me.”
“Then why don’t we talk about her?”
How to explain? How to tell his precious and yes, dammit, sheltered daughter that she’d been abandoned at birth by a mother who had been little more than a child herself? That he’d been too young to take on both the baby and the mother? That even if he could have managed, it didn’t matter because Jenna had run?
But Sara needed to know, needed to understand, and he couldn’t fail her. “I’ll talk about her to you anytime,” he promised, knowing that promise was likely to kill him.
“Why did she go away before I was out of the hospital?”
“She had to go, Sara.” Defending the woman who had nearly destroyed him was easy only because Sara needed answers. Kind ones. “She had to. She had no one to love her, and so she ran away.”
Huge blue eyes waited for more. Jenna’s eyes. They were a more brilliant blue than his, and framed by lush lashes—just like Jenna’s. “I would love her.”
Unable to trust his voice, Stone squeezed her hand.
“Why couldn’t she just have made a family with us and be ours forever? Why did she have to go?”
Solemnly, patiently, she blinked at him, and Stone swallowed hard. His own anguish came back so easily, he discovered. “She was scared, honey. Very scared.” And to be fair to Jenna, there’d been evil forces that had pushed her to leave. Forces he hadn’t been able to protect her from. She’d been betrayed, horribly and cruelly, by her own mother in a single event that had changed Jenna’s life forever. Still, she could have, should have, trusted him to help, and she hadn’t. “She was young, and alone and petrified.”
“But you were with her, and you can fix anything.”
God bless this child who had never wanted for a thing. Stone, with his ruthlessly stubborn streak and single-mindedness, had seen to it. But for the sake of memories and a heartache that had never died, he had to try to make Sara understand. “Yes, she had me,” he told her. “But I was young, too.”
“You were in college. At a fancy expensive school.”
“Yes.”
“And your mommy and daddy got mad at you and never spoke to you again. You had to transpose.”
“Transfer,” he corrected with a small smile. “To the local college here. I wanted you with me, Sara.” His parents had disowned them both, the boy barely a man, and the infant without a mother, all because he had “ruined his life” by keeping his baby. The baby he’d been responsible for.
Neither his mother nor his father nor his brother, Richard, Stone’s childhood hero, had spoken to Stone or Sara since.
Regret wasn’t a part of this. He could never look into Sara’s beautiful face and regret one part of what had happened. But it did bring up his worst nightmare, and remind him of the stoic way Sara accepted the fact that they had no family willing to acknowledge their existence.
For what would happen to his daughter if something happened to him? Who would take care of her, love her?
“It’d be nice to have grandparents.” Sara’s casual tone didn’t fool him. “Or...an uncle.”
She wasn’t talking in general, and he knew it. She meant his own parents and his brother. At the wistful tone in her voice, he actually felt murderous toward his own family. “They don’t understand, Sara. They can’t see past their own stubborn noses. But I love you and I’ll never stop. ’Kay?”
She smiled. “’Kay.” Tipping her head, she studied him. “Has she ever been back?”
“I’d tell you if she had. I’ve always promised you that. You don’t ever have to wonder.” He didn’t add that he’d spent more than a small fortune trying to find Jenna over the years. That occasionally he still tried, although now it was completely for Sara’s sake, because he had the feeling he would always be far too angry at Jenna ever to want her in his life. He refused to add to his daughter’s pain, but he couldn’t stand the thought of her waiting expectantly for something he’d become convinced would never happen. And if a small part of him wondered if there’d ever be a woman in his life who could make him truly forget Jenna, he ignored it. He didn’t need another heartbreak. “I’m afraid she’s not coming back, Sara.”
The girl stared down at the last photo of herself, the one where she was decked out in painter’s attire, grinning broadly as she painted her room a somewhat sickening shade of yellow-green. Completely unaware of how much every part of her—her laugh, her carefree attitude, her easy affection—all reminded Stone of Jenna.
“She is coming back,” Sara whispered. “I just know it.” She met her dad’s worried expression and hugged him hard. “Well, she is.”
Holding her close, Stone stared over her head at the calendar.
Ten years.
He was far from the frightened twenty-year-old left with no family and an infant he didn’t know how to care for. As a result, he’d long ago hardened his heart to the memory of the wild needy Jenna who’d so completely stolen his affections. He’d long ago moved on. Yet in spite of all his lingering rage, he’d forgiven her for what she’d done to him. Or so he told himself.
But as he kissed the top of Sara’s head, he had to admit the truth to himself.
He hadn’t forgiven Jenna for what she’d done to their daughter. Hadn’t even come close.
* * *
Jenna’s chest hurt. It had nothing to do with any lingering injuries and everything to do with the sight in front of her.
She sat on a tier of stands in the gymnasium of the school watching a basketball game.
Sara—it was really her this time, not some cruel dream her mind had conjured up to tease her—was playing basketball with all her little ten-year-old heart. Her tongue was squeezed between her teeth, her eyes narrowed in fierce concentration as she dribbled—okay, tripped—over the ball.
Her daughter. It had to be. Jenna had seen no pictures over the years. How could she have when she’d so completely disappeared no one could have found her even if they’d been looking? And she wasn’t hopeful or foolish enough to think that anyone had been looking.
“Go, Sara!” came a chorus of cries from the crowd gathered around Jenna.
Sara. Her name really was Sara.
Which meant Stone had kept his fervent promise that day in the hospital, when Jenna had named their baby before vanishing.
She was incredible, with beautiful long dark hair, bright laughing blue eyes and a sweet infectious laugh. A perfect little replica of Stone. Jenna’s heart squeezed as her arms crossed over herself in a mime of the hug she yearned to give her child.
Looking at her, Jenna couldn’t remember why she’d stayed away. None of the reasons she’d thought so important all those years seemed to matter now.
Tears welled in her eyes, but Jenna ruthlessly blinked them back. She had no right to cry, none at all. But Lord, it hurt. She’d never wanted anything as much as she wanted her little girl.
“That’s it, Sara,” someone shouted. “Run, run!”
It was an achingly familiar voice that made Jenna’s heart all but stop. Stone, his hands cupped over his mouth, was giving directions to his team, and God, he looked good. When she’d seen him the day before at the beach, she hadn’t been fully prepared for the sheer physical jolt of being near him again, but the long years of separation peeled away as if they’d never been.
There didn’t seem to be an unsure bone in that tall, toned body. There was something raw and earthy and generally untamed about him, despite the casual athletic clothes.
His shoulders had widened greatly, now physically a match for the weight of the burdens he’d always carried. He shifted back and forth on long muscular legs as he paced courtside, his arms constantly in motion as he directed the team.
Nope, he certainly wasn’t a kid any longer, but a fully mature, incredibly sexy man.
“Down court!” he yelled now in the smooth tone she remembered so well. He leaped into the air and whooped with abandon when Sara passed off the ball to another girl, who pivoted and made a basket.
The stands, full of parents and siblings, erupted as the game ended.
Pride nearly overwhelmed Jenna. She’d had no idea she could feel such a thrill, such joy, from watching a game she didn’t even understand. But it was her daughter down there. Her daughter.
On the court every girl on the team threw herself at the coach. Stone tossed back his head and laughed, hugging each of them back.
There’d been a time in Jenna’s life when seeing Stone smile and laugh like that had caused every productive thought to fly right out of her head, and she discovered with little surprise that hadn’t changed.
Watching Stone live as she’d only been able to dream about suddenly felt like a knife to her chest. She nearly staggered with the pain of it, with the gut-wrenching regret.
How had this happened? How had she allowed so much time to go by without a word? And what would happen now that she’d come back?
Knowing she deserved nothing, not even a fraction of the warmth she was experiencing now, didn’t help. With that dismal thought, the gates of her mind opened and flooded her with unwanted memories of her past.
Her absent father.
The mother she could never please, so she’d finally stopped trying. Instead Jenna had depended on her wild behavior to get attention.
Her perfect sister, the one Jenna’s mother constantly wished was her only child.
Everything had always seemed to be Jenna’s fault back then, even when she’d been merely a victim of circumstances. And a victim she’d been. Yet she’d been blamed and, unable to accept it, had rebelled.
She’d been wild, even before then. Hopelessly, pathetically out of control. Moody. It was all she knew how to do, for she could never get her mother to care unless she was furious about something Jenna had done. Without the bad-girl image Jenna had cultivated, she had no identity. No worth.
She’d been on the fast road to nowhere when Stone Cameron had come into her life. The star athlete and town darling, he was by far the most popular kid in school. Everyone adored him. He came from the rich side of the tracks and lived in one of the biggest and prettiest houses Jenna had ever seen. His parents and brother loved him.
His life had seemed perfect.
She’d hated him for that alone.
He’d found her in a tall tree along the beach one night when she been her most vulnerable, shaking after a particularly nasty fight with her mother—a fight in which Jenna’s mother had refused to believe that the man she was seeing had touched Jenna. A man not only cheating on his wife to sleep with Jenna’s mother, but a man who was a highly respected member of their community.
Scared and alone, Jenna had hidden in the only place she could think of. Without hesitation Stone had climbed up the long branches, sat next to her and smiled. In return, Jenna had called him names and had tried to push him out of the tree.
He refused to fall—or give up.
It’d been the start of the first meaningful friendship in Jenna’s life. Stone cared for her, more than anyone. He was the first to encourage her to stop doing stupid reckless things that would only get her hurt. He worried, he’d told her, and that knowledge had warmed Jenna’s heart and soul for the first time in her life.
But the man who’d victimized her had turned the scandal around, claiming Jenna had seduced him. In the face of the town’s disgust, Jenna folded. Despite Stone’s love and support, she let herself be destroyed.
Sitting there now, wallowing in the memories, agonizing over them, Jenna was gripped by panic.
Could Stone ever forgive her?
She looked down at the basketball court and found Stone’s glittering eyes on her, eyes that had perhaps seen too much to ever be surprised by anything again.
She’d done that, given the most open loving boy she’d ever met that slight cynical edge.
Ashamed, without stopping to think, Jenna grabbed her purse, ran outside the gym, jumped into her car and escaped, feeling no braver than when she was seventeen.
* * *
Over the next couple of days, Jenna gained some badly needed perspective. She could do this, she coached herself. She could, she would.
Again she went to one of Sara’s games, and again held her breath the entire time, completely immersed in how it felt to watch her daughter run, laugh, live.
At the end of the game, which Sara’s team won, Jenna looked down from the stands—and her heart simply stopped.
Staring at her from the side of the court was Stone, holding a basketball in one hand and his daughter’s hand in the other.
As the crowd thinned around them, neither of them moved, held there by an invisible string of unspoken questions. Stone was obviously drawn to Jenna, although he could have no idea why—or that she was a nightmare from his past about to resurface. She cringed at that thought and felt more than saw Stone’s gaze narrow in a mixture of concern and curiosity.
Still, he held the connection, and Jenna wished she would see a flash of recognition in his eyes. She knew now she wouldn’t, not with ten years, plastic surgery and dubious maturity on her side. Well, nothing had ever come easily to her, and it seemed this wouldn’t, either.
If she wanted Stone to know the truth, she was going to have to tell him.
Her goal hadn’t changed; she still wanted to atone for the things she’d done, such as deserting her own daughter. But if she told Stone who she was now, she knew he would turn from her, his eyes icy and distant.
But as Cindy Beatty, a complete stranger to Stone and the town she knew would never welcome her back, she could do anything.
Stone continued to maintain eye contact. Jenna couldn’t have torn her gaze away to save her life, leaving her no doubt that their always instant sizzling attraction still lived. It had unnerved her then, just as it did now, for though they’d always been drawn to each other, even as kids, she had never understood what Stone saw in her.
Connected to him this way, by just his gaze, caused an awareness to unfurl from deep within her. And she knew by his slight frown, by the very power of what shimmered between them, that it was the same for him. Only he could have no idea that this...thing between them was not new, that it had been there since the very beginning.
He remained unsmiling, that wide, sexy mouth serious. She felt panic rise.
You’re not seventeen anymore, she told herself firmly, even as her feet shuffled, prepared to run, as was their lifelong habit. You’re twenty-seven and here to right your wrongs. Turn your life around. Do it!
Far below, Sara’s lips moved and Stone nodded in response, but he did not break eye contact with Jenna.
Jenna smiled feebly. It was all she could manage, but Stone’s intense stare didn’t waver. Neither did Sara’s.
Tell them, an inner voice urged. Just go down there and tell them who you are.
Of their own accord, her legs took her down the stands she’d climbed up an hour and a half earlier—when she’d been driven by a need to see her daughter and hadn’t known how else to go about it other than to watch her from afar. And when she’d read the banner listing the names of the all-city fifth-grade champs, she’d been surprised to find Sara Cameron listed. After seeing that, fire-breathing dragons couldn’t have kept Jenna from the games.
“Hello,” Stone said when she got within hearing distance. That warm lazy baritone made her shudder with memories. For years she’d dreamed about that deep silky voice of his, and hearing it now brought her vividly back in time. Shockingly another memory surfaced.
Stone, making love to her the way he spoke, as if he had all the time in the world.
Jenna blushed wildly. Where had that come from? There was more to Stone than the way he’d once touched her, far more. He’d have fits if he knew her thoughts, for he wasn’t smiling now, not the way he had when the game had ended favorably or when Sara had flung herself into his arms for a hug. Jenna had to clear her throat twice before she croaked out a hello in return.
“I saw you at the game the other day,” he said in that voice like dark honey. “You ran off before I could talk to you. It’s...Cindy, isn’t it?”
He remembered her name, or that horrible pretend name Jenna had given him at the beach. She wanted to laugh and, instead, nearly cried.
Tell him the truth.
“Yes,” she murmured, sealing her fate with yet another lie. “It’s Cindy.”
Chapter 2 (#ulink_3351f0f0-368f-5935-b99f-8170176a19c0)
Chicken, Jenna told herself furiously, but she didn’t recant the lie. “And I didn’t mean to run off. I just...”
“It’s all right. I ran off on you first, at the beach,” Stone said, quietly apologetic, his voice velvety and calm. The arm he’d thrown around Sara squeezed as tension seemed to fill him. “And I’m—”
Before he could finish his apology, which was what she should be doing for the rest of her life, Jenna broke in. “No, no. Please.” She clenched her hands together to keep them from moving wildly about as they tended to do when she was nervous. And she was very nervous now. “I understand. I...I acted strangely.”
“Are you new to town?”
Jenna looked at Sara and managed a smile, though her throat tightened as she got her first close look at her child. God. Her child. She was so beautiful and the urge to touch her was so strong that Jenna had to close her hands into tight fists. Her short neatly manicured nails dug into her palms as she forced herself not to cry. “Yes.” Her voice caught on the sob she didn’t quite swallow, so she cleared her throat to hide it, avoiding Stone’s probing gaze. “I’m brand-new.”
And wasn’t that the complete truth? Certainly she’d been rebuilt since the car accident. For whatever reason, she’d been given another chance, and she didn’t want to mess it up this time. No longer did she want to spend the rest of her life job hopping for survival. Drifting from one group of so-called friends to another, living her life on the edge because that was the only way she knew how to live it.
She wanted to come back.
But if what she’d lived with all this time since the accident, knowing she’d pretty much mangled every inch of her face and a good part of her body, had terrified her, the prospect of telling Stone who she really was quite simply paralyzed her. No, petrified her.
Why had she lived?
She couldn’t help but wonder. She hadn’t deserved to—or had she? A part of her so desperately wanted someone to tell her how much she had deserved it.
But she had no one like that in her life, and that was her own fault.
“You’re beautiful,” Sara said.
Beautiful. In the accident, Jenna’s cheekbones had been shattered. So had her jaw and nose. They’d shaved her head completely, whisking away her icy blond waist-length locks without a thought.
It had grown back a bit now, but it was darker and much thicker, totally different than it had been before. Her eyes, normally blue, were covered with both dark sunglasses and even darker prescription contact lenses required for her own comfort—for most light still burned horribly—and also so she could see without wearing her glasses, which she hated.
She was totally and completely transformed. And as Sara pointed out, beautiful. “Thank you,” Jenna whispered, unable to stop looking at her child. It was hard to remain still, to not reach for her and pull her close.
“You moved here all alone?” Sara asked with the avid curiosity of the young.
The question threw Jenna off balance. Her mother had passed away some time ago, but she wasn’t truly alone, not with her sister, Kristen, still alive. Yet she couldn’t imagine her sister rejoicing at their reunion. “All alone,” she confirmed.
“This is my daughter, Sara.” Stone squeezed Sara’s shoulders, his big body shimmering with pride. “She’s very curious,” he added wryly. “And the new county basketball champ.”
“Daddy.” But Sara laughed.
Jenna swallowed hard, consumed by how he’d taken to fatherhood. She’d played an all-too-willing part in that area of his life, a part that to this day haunted her lonely nights with remembered visions of hot searing passion, warm safe arms that kept the outside world at bay and an unbreakable bond of affection. There would have been more, too, if only she’d let it.
She’d left him alone to deal with the consequences of their passion, but she knew, he had handled it as he handled everything—with an unwavering inner strength.
Which of course did nothing to assuage her horrible guilt and regret.
She could feel Stone’s interest like a physical thing, and it was no less for her. Standing this close to him, she had all she could do to remember to breathe. He was so familiar, yet a perfect stranger.
A magnificent perfect stranger she’d never been able to forget.
“Are you gonna eat pizza tonight?” Sara asked.
Jenna blinked at Sara. “Pizza?”
“Tonight’s pizza night at Joey’s. It’ll be packed with all the kids from the game,” Stone explained.
“Joey’s has great pizza.” Sara grinned in anticipation. “Lotsa cheese. I’m really starving, Daddy.”
Daddy. God, the way she said that, it made Jenna yearn. Made her ache. Made her want to cry, something she absolutely could not do with the protective contacts in, for it would burn like hell.
“We’re going, honey.” But Stone didn’t move for an interminably long moment.
Jenna didn’t, either. She held her breath, absorbing the intensity of his gaze. As the nearly visible electrical current ran between the two of them, she wondered how long this could continue.
“Daddy?”
“I know, Sara.” He smiled down at her, handed her the basketball and a backpack. “Here, take these. I’ll catch up in a sec.”
Happily Sara took his things, shot a shy smile at Jenna and walked away.
Stone waited, wanting to be certain Sara was out of earshot. “Look,” he said to the silent woman, feeling a little foolish. “This might seem odd, but...do I know you?”
Cindy paled. “What...what do you mean?”
He knew that following his gut instinct had been the right thing to do, given her reaction. But it explained nothing, certainly not the strange mixture of dismay and wonder just the sight of her evoked. “Have we met before?”
She raised a hand to her face, just as she had at the beach, as if she wanted to hide herself from him, which made no sense. But she seemed so distressed that Stone took pity on her and said quickly, as gently as he could, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you look...” What? She didn’t look familiar, not at all, and yet, he could swear that he knew her from somewhere.
But if he’d met this slender beauty before, certainly he would remember.
She made a soft sound, one that conveyed a wrenching sorrow. The urge to move forward, to take her arm and offer some sort of solace was strong.
But he’d sworn off damsels in distress a long time ago. The only women he let in his life now were strong-willed, self-possessed, sophisticated women who not only took care of themselves, but were not looking for any sort of permanence.
He might have laughed, for a woman in his life, any woman, was rare indeed. With his booming business and his vivacious daughter, Stone had little to no social time left over for himself. After so long he’d gotten used to it. Almost. But a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder... when would he meet someone who would reawaken his heart?
She smiled, although it was clearly forced. “Well...it was nice to see you again.”
So polite, he thought. So hurt. Dammit. “Wait,” he said just as she turned away, cursing himself even as he took a step toward her. “Are you coming for pizza night?”
Startled, she stared at him from behind those disconcertingly dark glasses. “I don’t think so.” A slim shoulder lifted. “I don’t know anyone.”
“You know us.” He had no idea why he was doing this, but something about her called to him on a deep primal level he was reluctant to explore. “Come on. It’d be a great way for you to acclimate yourself to small-town life.”
Suspicion filled her fine features. “How do you know I’m not used to it already?”
How to disburse that frightened-doe look? he wondered. “Your clothes for starters. We’re a one-school town here, and you’re dressed pretty fancy for a basketball game starring our local ten-year-olds.”
He laughed when she stared down at herself, taking in the expensive leather flats, the slim fitted trousers that outlined her showcase legs, her soft silky blouse, with the hint of lace and sexy curves beneath it. She wore a string of fine pearls on her elegant neck that reminded him of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but—
“Well, believe it or not, I grew up in a small town.” Her face colored slightly when he arched his brows in surprise. “But it’s been a while.”
“Daaaddyyyyy!”
Stone swiveled toward the voice. Sara stood in the doorway to the gymnasium, waving wildly, making him smile. “Coming,” he called.
He turned back to Jenna and caught the unwitting look of sheer longing she’d cast toward Sara. It wasn’t the thought of pizza that put that look on her face, he somehow knew, but loneliness.
Something he understood all too well. It called to him, but was he really ready for this? “Come on,” he said quietly with an inner sigh of resignation. Hell, no, he wasn’t ready, but he couldn’t ignore the strange pull of attraction. He held out a hand. “Let’s go eat.”
* * *
Her deep-rooted fear of again being shunned by the town nearly overcame her, but Jenna had a stiff talk with herself as she followed Stone and Sara in her own car to the pizza joint.
Clearly no one was going to recognize her.
And though she’d come back with the intention of letting everyone know who she was, especially Sara, Jenna was beginning to see the advantage of remaining silent, if only for a little while.
Until she proved she’d changed.
She was no longer a young terrified girl on the path of destruction. She’d become a woman who could control herself and her destiny.
A woman who was going to show everyone how worthy she was. A woman who hoped someday soon to have her daughter back in her life.
Having decided this, it was all she could do to contain herself as she stepped from her car and looked at the two people standing there waiting for her. Stone was leaning against his truck, long legs casually crossed, one hand tucked into his sweatshirt pocket, the other resting on Sara’s shoulders. He was relaxed, yet so clearly strong and vital and content with himself and his surroundings. Jenna knew what iron will and inner strength existed just beneath the surface of that body, and admired him for it.
To be half as confident as he...
He smiled a greeting then, his face transforming into the easygoing carefree Stone she used to know, and Jenna was forced to add yet another trait to her list—utterly sexy.
She stumbled at the thought, as again, ridiculously, she found herself rendered stupid by the impact of Stone’s fathomless gaze. He reached for her, an automatic gesture. Their hands brushed, his large one grasping her much smaller one, and she jumped at the contact. It was startling, that someone who moved and talked with such languid ease had such heat in his skin.
And in his eyes as they held hers.
Stone held open the restaurant door, letting first Sara, then Jenna, into the noisy but warm and welcoming place. It was packed, filled to the brim with hungry laughing talking people. Some Jenna recognized from her past and some she didn’t.
She hesitated, suddenly unsure, panicky.
What if she saw him—the man she’d let destroy her life? It had been so long ago, but seeing the man who had molested her would really make her lose any bit of control she still had. He’d likely be here, principal of the only school in town. Her heart thumped against her ribs as she whipped her head back and forth, searching the crowd.
She was making a big deal of nothing, she told herself when she didn’t find him. For all she knew. Rand Ridgeway had moved on, or at least changed occupations.
No sight of him. Still, she couldn’t relax, couldn’t make herself step farther in.
But then she felt Stone’s big warm hand gently rest on the small of her back in an old-fashioned gesture to guide her, and she nearly leaped right out of her skin.
When was the last time she’d been touched like that? As if she mattered? She looked up and he murmured something incoherent, something meant to be soothing, and it was.
She forced herself to relax, to lose the wide-eyed panic she knew she’d displayed. Stone didn’t keep his hand on her; in fact, he removed it immediately, making it the casual chivalrous gesture it had been meant to be—which in no way explained why her knees wobbled.
“I’m so ready to eat,” Sara declared as they wound their way through the sea of tables.
They were stopped several times by people who wanted to say hello or to congratulate Sara and Stone on the win. Several were business associates, and Stone nodded politely to everyone, while a portion of his mind remained occupied by the enigmatic woman walking in front of him as if to the guillotine.
The farther they went into the restaurant, the stiffer her shoulders became, and again, he wondered why.
Who was she? Why did he care? And why couldn’t he be attracted to someone without problems? Someone who had nothing to hide?
“Hello, Stone.”
He sighed. The woman who’d stepped between him and Cindy was Nellie, the postal clerk. She loved to keep her nose in everybody’s business but her own. He’d known her since high school, and in all that time, her crush on him had never faded.
Short and wide as the aisle in which they were standing in, Nellie effectively blocked their way, making Stone want to groan, for he knew there would be no moving past her until she was good and finished with him.
Nellie eyed Cindy with undisguised interest, but spoke to Stone. “You didn’t pick up your mail today, hon. Everything okay?”
He used a post-office box for his business because he often received huge shipments of supplies for the prototypes he put together. He had to, dealing as he did with hundreds of school districts and the way his business was growing by leaps and bounds.
Nellie read the return address on every package.
“Everything’s fine.” And if he had told her otherwise, he’d probably hear it on the evening news. “I’ll get it later.”
Nellie still stared at Cindy, who stood directly in front of Stone, her back to him. He had no trouble detecting Cindy’s rigid stance, her increasing stress, which told him exactly how uncomfortable the unwarranted scrutiny was making her. “Excuse us, Nel,” he said, risking another light touch to the small of Jenna’s back so that she at least attempted to move around the postal clerk.
Startled, Jenna glanced at him over her shoulder, her lips slightly parted. And right there, surrounded by insanity and a hungry daughter, Stone felt the most unexpected urge to bend down and kiss her. Just plant his lips on hers and lose himself until her fear was gone, until she wrapped her slender arms around his neck and whimpered with desire into his mouth.
“You have a new friend.”
Nellie again.
Cindy took a tiny step backward, as if terrified he was going to introduce her. But she’d miscalculated their closeness and bumped right into his chest. Automatically his hands came up to cup her shoulders, steadying her.
Beneath his fingers, she trembled, and any erotic thoughts fled in the face of his concern.
What was so threatening about this place? he wondered. The crowds? Nellie?
The scent of pizza teased his nostrils. His stomach grumbled, reminding him he’d skipped lunch again, working through it so he could take off early for Sara’s game.
Maybe he was just imagining Cindy’s fear. He’d find out. He had the advantage, for he rarely gave up on something once he’d set his mind to it, and for whatever reason, he’d set his mind on Cindy Beatty.
“Are you new in town?” Nellie asked Cindy.
“Yes,” Stone answered for her, squeezing Cindy’s shoulders gently when she made a sudden movement as if preparing to run. “She’s new and we’re starving. Excuse us?”
Smoothly he maneuvered around Nellie, and walked toward the back where there were still a couple of booths available.
Sara stood there grinning broadly, endearingly, before leaning forward to whisper loudly, “She always wants to talk to Daddy. She likes him.”
“Sara...”
“Well, she does. Mrs. Potts said so.”
A startled laugh escaped Cindy, which Stone enjoyed because he could tell she wasn’t a woman who laughed often.
Sara blinked innocently. “Mrs. Potts says Nellie likes your bones and the way they’re put together, Daddy.”
“Enough,” he said firmly, torn between embarrassment and the urge to laugh. Mrs. Potts came to clean his house once a week, had for the past five years, and this apparently gave her pecking rights. And like Nellie, she continuously attempted to run Stone’s life.
“I’m starving,” Sara announced again.
Stone was starving, too, not just for food but for another touch of the woman he knew nothing about yet couldn’t seem to get out of his head. He waited for Cindy to sit, and though his ingrained politeness had him reaching to support her as she slid into the booth, he brought his hand quickly back to his side, not eager to feel the jolt of awareness again.
Not for a woman he sensed was deeply troubled and far too vulnerable. Not for a woman who didn’t know he had commitments in his life he could never turn away from, including the short pigtailed grinning one standing next to him.
“Daddy—” Sara didn’t sit, but shifted eagerly from one foot to another, her hand held out, palm up “—can I have some money while we wait for the pizza? Pretty please?”
“Why? So you can lose it all in the arcade over there?”
“I won’t lose.” Sara’s bony shoulders straightened with pride. “You taught me how, remember?”
Caught, Stone reached into his pockets. “Stay where I can see you, okay?”
“Daddy—”
“Just do it, sport I’ll call you when the pizza gets here.” He handed her a fistful of change he knew would last all of ten minutes and watched her race off with the abandon of youth, his heart contracting with that odd mixture of bittersweet pride and love.
Cindy watched Sara, too, her expression filled with a longing so acute it took Stone’s breath away. “Cindy?”
The woman sitting across from him didn’t move, just kept watching his daughter with that haunted expression on her face, making him wonder what she could possibly be thinking. It wasn’t happiness that had her so lost to him, not with that much pain in her expression, and he hoped she hadn’t once lost a child.
“Cindy.” It was as if she’d forgotten her name, which was ridiculous of course. Finally he reached across the table and removed her sunglasses, smiling when she seemed to nearly leap out of her skin. “You okay?”
She blinked and flushed. “Your daughter’s remarkable.”
“Yes, and expensive,” Stone said dryly, hoping to tease her out of whatever had disturbed her.
“She’s worth it.”
Her eyes were very dark, almost black, their rims reddened. “Are you a mom?”
“I...no.” Shaking her head, she said more firmly, “No. I’m not.”
The crazy urge to wrap his arms around her was strong, but it was far too soon for that. She didn’t wear a ring, although he knew that was no guarantee she was single. “Is there...someone...?” Lord, he felt awkward. He’d been off the dating track too long.
“There’s no one,” she said softly, staring at her hands as if they held the greatest interest
“Me, either,” he said, smiling when she shot him a look of profound relief. “And you have plenty of time left to have a child when you’re ready.”
Her smile turned rueful. “Am I that obvious?”
“Not at all. I just saw a flash of longing... Well, it takes a parent to recognize it.”
“You make a great father. I mean—” clearly embarrassed, she clenched her fingers together on the table “—you must be so proud.”
He was, but he refused to get caught in the easy trap of light conversation. Not when he was brimming with curiosity he couldn’t seem to ignore. “So, what is it that brings you to San Paso Bay?”
Again a quick flash of unease, almost fear, crossed her face. “I’m going to start a temp agency.”
Automatically reacting to her fear, Stone’s gaze scanned the crowd until he found Sara, safely playing, then he gave his attention back to Cindy. “In this little town?”
She lifted her chin, looking touchingly haughty and uncertain at the same time. “You don’t have one yet, you know. And neither Morro Heights nor El Tara, the two neighboring towns, have one, either. Which means there’s plenty of business.”
She spoke as if she had to convince him. “Okay.”
“I’ve researched carefully, and all three towns have plenty of growing industry. Actually the want ads are overwhelming. There’s enough to keep me busy.”
“I think it sounds good.”
“You do?”
He had no idea why that slight wobble in her voice so touched him. “You’ll do great.”
“I want to settle here—permanently.”
“It’s a nice place to live.”
“And raise kids?”
“Yes. Definitely. It’s a quiet safe town.”
“So safe you have to warn your daughter to stay in sight in a pizza joint filled with people you know?”
Damn, he hadn’t expected to be faced with his own fears, fears that went back ten years to a woman and to an event so horrifying it still dictated how he treated his daughter’s safety. “Maybe I’m just an overprotective parent.”
She gave him a long look. “The sad fact is, no town is completely safe.” Her weary tone said she knew that all too well. Her hands, active only a moment before, settled on the table. “There’s always trouble,” she said quietly. “And it can happen anywhere.”
Of course it was true, and how well he knew it. Even in San Paso Bay, bad things happened. It’d been a while since he’d dwelled on the scandal that had nearly destroyed him, that had driven the only woman he’d ever loved right out of his life. The circumstances had been out of their control, a cruelty from a most unexpected place, but it had happened and nothing could change it.
Jenna was long gone now. She’d not had enough belief in justice to see the crisis through. That, combined with the problem of getting pregnant too young, had made her fall apart.
Stone didn’t blame her for getting pregnant or even for the need to run. But he did blame her for not trusting him or herself enough to let their love prevail.
“I think it depends on your attitude,” he said carefully, “and how hard you try. If you’re looking for a new start, this is a great place to do it. Do you have family?”
She dropped her gaze, studied the tabletop. “Family?”
“As in people related to you?”
“Not really.”
“You’re so talkative,” he said, grinning.
She looked at him, startled, and finally seemed to realize he was teasing her. A reluctant smile tugged at her lips. “Okay, let me rephrase that,” she offered. “Yes, technically I have family. But we don’t act like family. Does that clear things up?”
If she’d asked him the same thing, his answer wouldn’t have been much different. Yes, he had family. But they didn’t want to be part of his life.
Simple as that.
“Clear as mud,” he said. “Where do you come from?”
She crossed her arms. Then, as if realizing what that gave away, she uncrossed them, making him smile sympathetically. She frowned at him in response. “You’re full of questions. And I don’t like to talk about myself.”
Maybe she’d been alone all her life, which would account for the way she protected herself. By keeping people at bay, she couldn’t get hurt.
He understood the philosophy. At one time, deserted by everyone he’d ever cared about, he might have gone down that same path. He hadn’t, partly because he was an innate people person. But mostly, despite what had happened to him, he believed people were basically good.
Maybe Cindy hadn’t learned that, and at the thought of someone hurting her, his chest tightened. He wanted her; he had from the first moment he’d seen her. But now that wanting changed, deepened into something else. Something sharper and more defined.
He wanted to protect her, and the fierceness of this desire was startling. Oh, he’d wanted women before, lots of them; it was just that never, since Jenna, had he felt it quite so piercingly. He didn’t stop to think about the significance of that; he simply absorbed it with his usual acceptance of change.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she whispered.
“Like what?”
“Like...you care.”
They stared at each other. “Because I do,” Stone finally said. “I look at you and I feel... something. I didn’t like it at first, which is why I took off on you at the beach. But now—now it makes me want to keep caring.”
Her mouth opened, then slowly closed. “You’re scaring me.”
“Well, that makes two of us,” he said.
Chapter 3 (#ulink_b20e6716-c066-5910-8dc3-25d75635c926)
“I don’t want this,” Cindy told him, shifting nervously. “I don’t want you to think I matter.”
“But you do matter.”
“I don’t...I shouldn’t,” she said, sounding a bit desperate.
“Of course you should.”
She stared at him, soaking it in. A disparaging sound escaped her. “Stone...”
He loved the sound of his name of her lips. Loved it, and wanted to hear it again. “What?”
“What am I doing?” She looked lost, confused. “I just came to watch a basketball game. Just wanted to acclimate myself, and now look at me.” She lifted a bewildered hand. “I’m...”
“You’re what?”
“I’m doing something I shouldn’t, that’s what.”
“Which is?”
“Wanting you.” As soon as the words left her, she slapped both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide and wild. She shook her head violently, as if denying what she’d just admitted. “I didn’t mean... I just meant... I’ve got to go.” She leaped to her feet. “I... Bye.”
Stone caught her just before she would have disappeared into the crowd. “Don’t.”
Her chest rose and fell as if she’d just raced a mile uphill. She glanced down at his hand on her, which he slowly ran down her forearm until their hands met. Hers was slender, delicate, easily swallowed up by his. Entwining their fingers, he squeezed gently. “I didn’t mean to scare you off. You came here to start over, and you’re doing fine. Don’t go yet.”
Her gaze jerked to his. “I never said I was starting over.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Well, yes, but—”
“And now we’ve met and you’re nervous. It’s sweet,” he said, smiling when she blushed. “But you’ll be okay. I know it seems unreal, but you’re not alone. Already you’re not alone.”
She stared at him with something akin to marvel. Again, just looking at her tugged at his heart, made him want to take her in his arms and never let go.
Which made no sense, none at all.
A waitress tried to move past them. Stone sat and pulled Cindy back down, this time in the same side of the booth as him. Their thighs brushed, and he felt his body react at just that innocent touch.
“I’d be okay alone, you know,” she said, not sounding nearly as confident as she clearly wanted to. She was nervous and frightened, a combination Stone could never fully resist because he knew well what it felt like.
“I’m used to it,” she added.
“Yeah. You’re fine.” He smiled. “You’re going to be okay. But you don’t have to be alone.”
“I don’t know what to say to you.”
“Say nothing.” He ran a thumb over her knuckles, enjoying the softness of her skin. “Just know I’m here if you need me and you’re going to do great.”
“I am.”
“I know.”
“It’s not going to be nearly as hard as it sounds.” Some of her enthusiasm came back. “I’ve had a lot of experience. I’ve worked temp jobs for years. It was a great way to travel and still have money. And I did some college at night, took some business classes. Plus, my initial investment is minimal and—”
“Cindy.”
“It only takes a small office and some know-how—”
“Cindy—”
“So I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure, too.” He narrowed his eyes, taking in the strain so evident on her pale face. “Hey... are you okay?”
“I...” A puff of air escaped her as she deflated. She set her forehead on the table. “I’m fine. Feeling stupid, but other than that, just fine.”
“Stupid?”
Pulling her hand free, she shot him a sheepish smile. “I don’t often unload on strangers, then admit to...well, you know.”
He grinned. “Wanting me?”
“Yes, that,” she said, rolling her eyes and looking away as a flush crept up her cheeks.
“Then, thank you.”
She gave a surprised little laugh. “I’m not sure what overcame me, telling a stranger...”
“I’m not a stranger anymore, not really.” He hesitated, wondering why he wanted her so much. It increased every time their gazes met, every second he spent with her. “Strange as it sounds, I never felt like we were strangers at all.”
She went still. “We should order the pizza. Now.” Managing a weak smile, she held up the menu.
Stone took it from her. “So, you want it all?”
Her bravado faltered. “Excuse me?”
He grinned. “On your pizza. You want everything on it.
A smile curved her lips then, the first genuine one he’d seen, and man, it was a stunner. It made it easy to throttle back and enjoy the evening, for although he hadn’t planned on becoming interested in a woman he suspected was chock-full of secrets and surprises, he also didn’t want to turn and walk away.
“Yes, everything,” she said, amusement in her eyes. “On the pizza, that is.”
And in that moment Stone knew that he wanted this woman in his life. It wasn’t wise, or even practical, because she wasn’t like his usual “safe” pick—a woman he couldn’t possibly fall for.
Truth was, for the first time ever he just might have found a woman to make him forget Jenna once and for all.
* * *
Several days went by before Jenna felt settled enough to face the task she’d been putting off since she’d arrived back in San Paso Bay.
Leaving her old life had not been much of a problem. For ten years she’d avoided emotional attachments like the plague because she hadn’t been able to trust anyone. No way would she risk her heart ever again, although now that vow made her angry at herself. She’d wasted so much time.
No longer.
Given the ridiculously huge amount she’d been awarded in her settlement, she didn’t have to work again a day in her life unless she wanted to—which she did. It had become vital to her mental health that she completely change her lifestyle. Not only did she want to face her past, but she wanted to settle here and earn her way.
And more than anything, she wanted Sara back in her life. She’d be lying if she didn’t also admit she wanted Stone in that life, as well, but just remembering what she’d blurted out at dinner had her face heating in mortification all over again.
She knew she couldn’t tell him who she was—not yet. Not until he knew she’d changed, that she was indeed a good person, though she herself was still working on really believing that.
While recuperating from that first meeting with her daughter and the man she’d never forgotten, Jenna enjoyed the wonderful cozy new house she’d purchased. It was on top of a hill overlooking the bay. Far below she could hear the ocean roar, watch the sun set on the water. It was a place that had represented happiness to her when she’d been a girl on the other side of the tracks, and it was still a comfy old elegant neighborhood.
While getting her life together, she planned to slowly furnish and decorate the house in hopes that someday Sara would want to visit her regularly, or even live with her part of the time—although Jenna was almost afraid to have hopes for that far in the future.
Today was the first day of the rest of her life, she decided. And to prove it, she was going to call her sister. Then she would go to the office she’d leased and set up her business, which she’d rented because it was in the same industrial park as Stone’s workshop.
Before she could lose her nerve, Jenna picked up the phone and dialed the number the detective had given her, her pulse beating hard in her ears.
Her palms went sweaty. Her stomach hurt.
By the time she heard the soft-spoken hello, Jenna’s heart was pounding so loudly she almost couldn’t hear herself think.
“Hello?” Kristen repeated, clearly annoyed. “Is anyone there?”
“Hello, Kristen. It’s me...Jenna.”
“Jenna?” She heard the audible click of a breath being caught. “Really? Jenna? Oh, my God—” Kristen broke off so abruptly it was as if she’d covered her mouth to hold all noise in.
Jenna squeezed her eyes shut as pain sliced through her. She’d known, hadn’t she? She’d known she wouldn’t be welcomed back with open arms.
Two years older than she, Kristen had run in a completely separate circle. They’d never been close, mostly, Jenna realized now, because she had done everything in her power to push her perfect older sister away so that she could wallow in self-pity—self-pity over never being able to please her mother.
Jenna truly regretted that now, for Kristen could have been an ally in those terrible times, but it was too late. Far too late. Kristen didn’t want to talk to her.
“I’m sorry,” Jenna whispered. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, about how things used to be.” She couldn’t even hear Kristen breathing. “I... I remember telling you I hated you.” The shame nearly killed her, but she had to say it quickly before Kristen hung up. Even if they never spoke again, Jenna had to get it out. “I didn’t mean it, Kristen, I didn’t. It’s just that I was so angry... I took it out on you.”
A pained sound came over the phone.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Jenna said, closing her eyes. “I never meant to.”
Another indescribable sound. A muffled sob?
Jenna’s throat burned. Her eyes stung, and dammit, she shouldn’t have put in her contact lenses, should have worn the thick glasses she kept in her purse for emergencies. “I shouldn’t have called—”
“No,” Kristen finally managed. She gulped, sniffed and then gulped again.
Her sister was crying. Damn, she was no good at this. “Kristen.” What else could she say? What? “Please, oh, please, don’t cry. I’m so sorry.”
“Jenna.” Kristen sniffed and sighed. “Oh, honey, I’m glad it’s you. I’ve been wanting...” She drew a ragged breath. “I’ve been hoping you’d call me someday.”
Jenna’s head swam as spots of relief blurred her vision. “You’re...glad? You’re sure? I thought at first, when you didn’t say anything... I nearly hung up, I’m so nervous.”
“No, oh, no,” Kristen said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel... God. I’m just so relieved, so happy, I couldn’t talk for a minute.” Apparently she no longer had that problem. “Where have you been, Jenna?” Kristen’s voice gained momentum as she regained her power of speech, though she still spoke in a tear-filled shaky voice. “And why haven’t you called before? I’ve been looking for you. For years. Years.”
“You have?”
“Yes. Say something else, just so I know I’m not dreaming.”
The fist around Jenna’s heart loosened. “You sound the same. Perfect.”
“You don’t sound the same at all.”
Jenna would never sound the same again, thanks to the accident, but she didn’t want to talk about that now. “You’re sure? You’re really glad I called?”
“Yes! Where are you? Don’t you dare hang up until you tell me, okay? Please, Jenna, let me see you.”
Jenna hesitated, not because she didn’t want to see her sister, but because she was so stunned.
“Jenna! You are going to let me see you?”
Jenna opened her mouth, uncertain how to prepare her sister.
Kristen started to cry. “Please?”
“Kristen,” Jenna whispered, blinking hard as her sister’s soft sobs sounded in her ears. “Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. Oh, God, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t...don’t be.” Now she laughed, and that, mixed with the crying, made her difficult to understand, but suddenly Jenna didn’t care because she was laughing and crying at the same time, too.
“I’m just so relieved you’re okay,” Kristen gasped. “And you’re alive. I didn’t know, and—”
“I’m alive.”
“It feels so good to hear you. Jenna, we never talked about what happened—about that big fight with Mom, and then...”
Yeah. And then.
They were both silent as Jenna pushed away the memory of the sexual abuse and then the humiliation that followed.
“And then you got pregnant,” Kristen said quietly. “After that, you were gone.”
The trouble had started about nine months before Jenna had actually left, on a night her mother’s lover had tried to do more than just touch. Again her mother hadn’t believed her, leaving Jenna no choice but to run away for the umpteenth time. She’d run to Stone, and that night they’d become lovers. What they’d shared had been magical, so perfect she’d never been able to get it out of her head, which meant, of course, that the few relationships she’d attempted since had paled in comparison.
Stone had really, truly loved her, and when Jenna realized that, it had terrified her. So had the ensuing scandal when Rand Ridgeway had gone public with his claim that Jenna had tried to seduce him, cleverly turning the tables on the terrified girl she’d been.
“I never meant to judge you, Jenna.”
“I was seventeen and pregnant,” Jenna said flatly into the phone. “Everyone judged me. Not just you and Mom.”
“I’m so sorry for that,” Kristen said in a barely audible voice. “As soon as I was old enough to really understand how terrified and alone you must have felt, I regretted not trying harder to help you. What did you do?”
“I flipped out,” Jenna whispered. “Really flipped out. Just like everyone else. Except Stone.” He’d been her rock, so strong, so caring. When everyone else had pointed fingers and snickered, suggesting she deserved her fate, Stone had stood like a pillar beside her. Her own mother had kicked her out, telling her to never come back. Jenna had been so stubborn, so filled with rage. She had baited her mother, letting her think she’d been sleeping around. That she hadn’t known who the father of her baby was. Jenna had no idea why, except that she’d needed to prove something.
All she’d proved was that she was an idiot.
“Stone would have married me,” she told Kristen now. “He wanted to. But I...”
“You couldn’t handle it? Oh, Jenna, no one could have. It’s all right.”
Jenna had hated herself and everyone around her. “I just ran.” It had been easier for her to do so, although she flinched at the pain of it. At the unbearable agony she’d felt the day she’d sneaked out of the hospital after giving birth. She hadn’t looked back and had made sure to keep herself in enough trouble that she knew they wouldn’t want her back.
Until the accident. Until her second chance.
“You can come back now, Jenna, can’t you?”
Hadn’t she thought about little else? “Yes. I wasn’t sure you’d want to talk to me.”
“I want more than that,” Kristen demanded suddenly, her voice filled with a smile. “Just tell me—when can we see each other?”
“Well...” Jenna walked with the portable phone into her bathroom to glance at herself in the vanity mirror above the sink.
A stranger stared back. A stranger with tentative hope in her eyes and a rare smile on her lips.
“Jenna! You are going to let me see you, aren’t you?”
“There’s something you should know first.” Jenna bit her lip to keep back her nervous laughter. If she gave in to hysterics now, she’d probably never be able to stop. “And it’s sort of a biggie.”
“What? You can tell me anything. Anything.”
“Okay.” Jenna stared at her completely new face. “But you’d better sit down first. I’ve got a shocker for you.”
“Jenna.” Kristen laughed, and the years between them fell away. “Nothing you could tell me will come as a shock, believe me.”
Jenna smiled into the mirror. “Wanna bet?”
* * *
“I can have the new prototypes ready in—” Stone leaned back to study his calendar “—four weeks tops.” He hadn’t started on them yet—he’d been so busy with other work—but the order was a good one, and he would love the job of creating life-size wooden puzzles to tickle the minds of gifted second graders.
“No, three weeks isn’t enough time,” he said firmly. He had his annual auction coming up, where he donated his creations to child-development centers all over the country. That would keep him busy.
His one-man shop was quickly growing by leaps and bounds, making him thankful he’d gone with his gut instinct six years before, giving up a promising career in architecture. What he did now was infinitely more rewarding.
Still listening to his customer, he reached for his unopened mail. Flipping past the bills, he smiled at an envelope from an old college buddy who also created prototypes—condom prototypes.
It was time to admit he needed help, Stone thought as he opened the envelope. He had for some time now. It was just a matter of hiring a clerk to help with the paperwork, but somehow, he just never got around to it.
Laughter bubbled as a small foil-wrapped package fell into his hands from the envelope. The stick-it note attached read: “Hey, Buddy—thought you might appreciate my latest in the high-tech world of prophylactics.”
Stone lifted the note off and gaped. The condom was plaid.
Grinning, Stone tossed the thing in his drawer and forced himself to concentrate on his telephone conversation. “Should I ship to the individual schools, or do you want them all to go to you?” he asked, and then immediately shook his head. “No, I can’t deliver them in person. Sorry.”
He refused to travel because it meant leaving Sara, something he couldn’t bring himself to do. Yes, they had Mrs. Potts, who would be happy to fill in for him. But Sara hated it when he left. She became weepy, difficult. Clingy.
Stone considered himself pretty tough, but he caved in like putty when it came to Sara. Watching her regress because of his own actions tore at him. No doubt Sara was afraid of losing him, the only real solid presence in her life, something Stone understood all too well. He hated the thought of being separated from her for days at a time, hated what it did to her, so would do just about anything to ensure it didn’t happen. It hadn’t been difficult to come to an important business decision.
If people wanted his educational products in their schools—and he had to believe they did, since they constantly clamored for him to hurry up and build more—then they had to agree to his terms.
He didn’t travel.
Which didn’t ease his ever-growing fear.
What if something did happen to him? Auto accident, illness—it could be anything. And when he was gone, Sara would be all alone. He’d started to lie awake nights worrying about it, and he knew he had to come up with a plan. A will.
He had to guarantee Sara’s safety and care.
He’d put it off for too long now, simply because he hated to admit that he didn’t know what to do. Turning to his family was out of the question.
Ten years ago, when Jenna had gotten pregnant, his family had surprised and shocked him by refusing to believe Sara was his child.
Though Stone tried to tell them the truth, they turned a deaf ear. Jenna’s trouble, they’d said.
Look at the scandal, they’d said.
You’re a fool, they’d said.
Stubbornly he’d stood by Jenna, knowing the truth.
Sara was his child.
Though Jenna had put on a tough front, she’d let Stone see past her wild ways. She’d shown the real Jenna to him, and Stone had loved that frightened, uncertain, self-conscious Jenna with all his heart.
She’d been a virgin the night she and Stone had first made love, and though they’d used protection, somehow she’d gotten pregnant—with his child.
Stone’s family refused to listen to reason. They were wealthy, disdainful of scandal of any kind, and though he’d once thought of them as loving giving people, the truth was, they were snobs. It’d been a huge shock and major disappointment to Stone, but they’d stood firm. If he kept the baby, he’d be disowned. Stone had loved Jenna, loved their unborn baby, but even if he hadn’t, he wanted to be responsible for his actions. He’d kept his baby, for he could do nothing else.
And he ended up with no family, no Jenna, no money. Just Sara. Somehow they’d made it, and God, he didn’t want to remember those first months, how nightmarish they’d been, but he’d done it. They’d done it.
He and Sara were a family now, and it rankled like hell that he, after all this time, needed his parents.
They didn’t need him in return. They had Richard, and Stone knew his brother had never married. He’d never had any kids.
Which meant Sara was the only grandchild his parents had.
How could they ignore that?
How could they ignore her?
Stone continued to listen with half an ear as his client rambled on about the product he was buying, watching with detached interest out his window as two doors down from him, a moving truck pulled up.
A new neighbor.
The back of the truck opened, and two beefy men started to unload. An oak desk and chair. An elaborate computer system. An expensive-looking couch and matching chairs. A huge bulletin board, filing cabinet.
And Cindy Beatty.
Chapter 4 (#ulink_ba1ed7c6-ef71-5b0f-a39f-01da142cb6e8)
Cindy Beatty?
Stone set his feet back on the floor, made quick excuses to his client before hanging up and left his office.
His heart thundered uncomfortably. Truth was, he’d not stopped thinking about this woman since they’d met, which was enough to make him wonder what the hell was wrong with him.
Rarely, if ever, had he let one woman intrude so on his private life. Driven by a need to see if their crazy attraction was real, he walked toward her, his gaze soaking in the first sight of her in days.
She looked the same—irresistible, and any hopes he’d held that he’d be able to turn and walk away were dashed.
Her black jeans outlined her thoroughbred legs to perfection. Her lightweight sweater clung to her soft curves in a way that made him ache, and he came to the uncomfortable realization that he was hopelessly attracted to her.
And he had no idea why.
Never one to run from his fears, he continued toward her. He wanted to see her face, watch her lips curve into a shy smile. He wanted to know her innermost thoughts.
But she was wearing those damn dark glasses, hiding herself from the world. Absorbed in watching the truck unload, she didn’t look up when he stopped next to her. “Hello,” he said. “What’s this?”
She gave a startled little jump. “Oh!” With her hand to her chest, she offered him that tentative smile he’d wanted to see. “Uh...hi.”
“Hi.” She could still do it, he discovered. Still make his heart skip a beat.
“You scared me.”
Vulnerable but determined, hesitant but brave. Such a contradiction, and yet it had been so damn long since he’d wanted to touch anyone quite as badly. Like a hormone-filled teen, he had to slip his hands in his pockets, or he would have actually reached for her. “What are you doing?”
“I’m moving in.” Her smile brightened, and on the surface she appeared to be fine. Great. Mouthwateringly beautiful, actually.
But only an idiot could miss the quivering tension in every line of her body, the delicate purple circles beneath her eyes makeup had not successfully covered. Truth was, tension shimmered off her in waves, and even as he looked at her, she lifted a hand to cover one side of her face and jaw.
He gently took her hand away from her face and brought it to his mouth. She gasped as he kissed her palm.
“Why do you cover your face?” he asked. “You’re so lovely.”
“I... You...” She let out a breath and stared at her hand in his. “You make it difficult to think.”
And she made his heart drum. “You’re opening your office here?” he asked, letting her go. “This is an industrial park.”
“It’s small and affordable. And it’s perfect, actually. Centrally located.” She looked away. “And most of my business will come from the industry around here, anyway.”
“Was that the only reason?”
She regarded the tall oak tree lining the parking lot as if it held the greatest interest. “Not quite.”
Stone had no idea how he felt about her silent admission that she had picked this spot because of him. Disturbed? Wanted? Wary? Appreciated? All those things, yes, but what he felt mostly was relief.
She scraped her teeth over her lip, drawing the skin on her chin tight. And there, on her neck above the scarf, he saw a faint weblike scar that spread... With a gentle hand he brushed her scarf aside. His heart beat faster as he realized the scars spread along both sides of her jaw, and disappeared into her hairline behind her ears.
He jerked his gaze up, meeting her sunglasses-covered eyes, horrified to be caught gaping, even more horrified at whatever it was she’d gone through. “Cindy...”
She took a step back, bringing her hand up to cup her cheek, an instinctive move on her part whenever she was nervous or upset.
Now he knew why. She was trying to hide her scars. God.
“Hey, lady, where do you want this?”
Cindy quickly turned from Stone, clearly jumping at the chance for distraction. One of the men stood there holding two large boxes. Practically falling in her hurry to get away from Stone, she smiled shakily at the mover. “Next to the filing cabinet Thanks. Is there more? Maybe I should help...”
The man shook his head and disappeared into the office.
They were again alone, yet for the first time in his life, Stone didn’t know what to do or say. He wanted to grab her, hold tight and offer comfort, but more than that, he didn’t want to scare her off, and since at the moment Cindy appeared to be braced for flight, he had to be careful.
Her head was ducked, she was busy studying her shoes. Slowly, gently, he ran his hand over her silky short hair, tucking a strand behind her ear before he cupped her jaw and lifted her face. Stroking her skin with his thumb, he murmured, “What happened to you?”
Immediately Cindy looked away.
But Stone forced her chin back up, his clasp on her face firm yet careful, for he was well aware of his strength in a way that most men his size weren’t.
She shrugged. “The how of it is not important.”
Stone thought it was important. “Cindy—”
“Please.”
Imagining the pain and trauma of whatever she’d been through to cause such scarring made him feel sick for her. But he could see that his closeness was unnerving her, so he backed off.
She straightened the damn sunglasses he was beginning to hate. “Because of it, I’m here,” she said simply. “Okay?”
“So there’s a silver lining.”
A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “Let’s call it a mixed blessing so far. I hope it won’t disturb you, having me nearby every day.”
He laughed shortly and rolled his shoulders, which were filled with tension. “Disturb me? You’ve done nothing but.” His easy joking tone was such a complete contradiction to his words, her gaze flew to his. “You disturb me a lot,” he told her more seriously. “But I think I like it.”
Again she gnawed on her lip, and he had the crazy urge to lean forward and put his mouth just there, to that same spot, and nibble her himself. “I wish I knew more about you,” he said, instead. “Why won’t you talk about yourself? About where you come from?”
“It’s not easy to talk about.” She watched the men removing her things from the truck.
“I’m sorry.” And he was, though the enormity of it, and what he felt for her, no longer surprised him. “You’ve had it rough?”
“You...might say that.”
“No family to help you out?”
“None that would.” She tilted her head and regarded him. “I wasn’t always a nice person, Stone.”
“We’ve all made mistakes.”
“Mine are pretty big.” Drawing a deep breath, she let her words out in a rush, as if expecting him to run off in horror. “I was an angry unhappy kid. I hurt a lot of people, and now those people are likely to hate me.”
“People forgive.”
She stared at him, her expression suddenly filled with so much hope, it almost hurt to look at her. “I’d like to think that’s true,” she said. “I’d like to be able to fix some of my wrongs. Make them right someday.”
“You can do anything you want to do,” he told her. “Especially that.” Her lack of confidence tore at him. Then the men were back with a couch, and Stone took her elbow, drawing her out of their way, even as they both held their breaths at the touch. “I think you’re a wonderful person, Cindy. Others would think it, too, if you gave them a chance.”
“Yeah, well. That’s easier said than done,” she muttered.
He shook his head, smiling. “You need more belief in yourself. Hasn’t anyone ever told you what a really great person you are?”
Not since you, Jenna wanted to cry. Her chest ached with the need to let out some emotion, but she beat it back.
“You are,” Stone said in that dark seductive voice. “Give yourself a break once in a while, okay?”
He didn’t understand. Couldn’t, because she hadn’t been honest. But his generosity of heart nearly broke her. “I have no idea why I thought this would be a good thing.” Shaken, she took a step backward, away from him.
Stone snagged her hand. “Wait,” he said, holding gently but firmly when she would have fled. “I know this is crazy, but there’s something between us already.”
“But I don’t like it,” she blurted.
A smile tugged at his provocative mouth. “Doesn’t seem to matter. We’re attracted to each other, wildly so.” His low rough voice and the admission of his feelings thrilled her. “And as much as we might want to ignore it, it isn’t going to go away.”
She swallowed hard, but didn’t object when he stepped closer, still holding her hand. He seemed so big, so powerful... so unbearably sexy, and he was doing nothing but looking at her, but it was that look, the one that made her knees weak.
Anyone could walk by and see them, see the sexual tension flickering between them like electricity. Heat flooded her face, but Stone appeared unconcerned. And he would be, she thought ruefully, for Stone was not a man to worry about what others thought, not as long as he was doing what he felt was right. He’d always been incredibly strong-willed that way. Even coming from the conservative background he had, Stone Cameron had always marched to his own beat, and it appeared he still did.
Their clothing brushed, clung, and he tipped his head down a bit. “We might as well explore it,” he said huskily.
As they once had. She remembered so well—too well.
And suddenly she was there, back in time, back to when Rand Ridgeway had nearly raped her. He would have, if her mother hadn’t come home, but instead of sympathizing, she’d hit Jenna for telling lies.
Jenna had been in her tree by the beach, high above the ground, crying and holding her aching jaw when Stone had found her.
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Jill Shalvis
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: A classic novel of second chances and redemption from New York Times best-selling author Jill Shalvis.Single mom Jenna Loggins came from the wrong side of the tracks, but she′d vowed to give her beloved baby a better life. So ten years ago desperate Jenna fled, leaving her daughter in the care of Stone Cameron, the child′s father and the son of the richest family in town.But a near-fatal car crash has given Jenna a second chance to make things right for the man and the child she loved but left behind. Now Jenna′s back—with a new name and face—and Stone is drawn to the mysterious beauty. Can Jenna risk telling Stone and her daughter the truth, or will she have to hide behind the face of a stranger forever?