Rekindled Romance
Rekindled Romance
Lorraine Beatty
Old Love, New NeighborForced to return home after a health scare, Shelby Russell winds up next door to none other than Matt Durrant. Her one-time fiancé and now a widower with two kids, Matt plans to keeps Shelby at arm’s length. Even if she’s the logical choice for a nanny. Even if his kids love her. Even if he's happier than he’s been in years.But Matt was the one left behind when Shelby went to follow her dreams. After losing so much, Matt’s courage is faltering. And when he learns the truth about what Shelby faces now, they’ll both need a heavy dose of courage if they dare hope for a future.
Old Love, New Neighbor
Forced to return home after a health scare, Shelby Russell winds up next door to none other than Matt Durrant. Her onetime fiancé and now a widower with two kids, Matt plans to keep Shelby at arm’s length. Even if she’s the logical choice for a nanny. Even if his kids love her. Even if he’s happier than he’s been in years. But Matt was the one left behind when Shelby went to follow her dreams. After losing so much, Matt knows his courage is faltering. And when he learns the truth about what Shelby faces now, they’ll both need a heavy dose of courage if they dare hope for a future.
Shelby searched for something to say. “Matt, I—”
“You met my kids.” His tone was flat and cool.
Shelby nodded, mentally scurrying to regain her footing at his abrupt change of subject. “They’re adorable. I like their dog, too.” She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of them. “They were very well behaved. You and your wife should be proud. You’ve done a wonderful job with them.”
Matt paled. His eyes turned dark and cold. “My wife died three years ago.”
She gasped. “Oh, Matt. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” He pinned her with a cold blue glare.
“My kids have been through a lot. They’re emotionally vulnerable and they tend to give their hearts too easily. I don’t want those hearts broken by a stranger passing through town.”
Stranger? Was that how he thought of her now? Before she could respond, he turned and walked to the door.
He stopped, looking over his shoulder. “Do we understand each other?”
LORRAINE BEATTY
was born and raised in Columbus, Ohio, but has been blessed to live in Germany, Connecticut and Baton Rouge. She now calls Mississippi home. She and her husband, Joe, have two sons and six grandchildren. Lorraine started writing in junior high and has written for trade books, newspapers and company newsletters. She is a member of RWA and ACFW and is a charter member and past president of Magnolia State Romance Writers. In her spare time she likes to work in her garden, travel and spend time with her family.
Rekindled Romance
Lorraine Beatty
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
A time to tear down and a time to build.
—Ecclesiastes 3:3
To my grandchildren: Cameron, Casie, Chey, Andrew, Anna and Addie.
You are my treasures.
Contents
Chapter One (#u7d9b1605-0484-5c6b-9716-431331f85ac7)
Chapter Two (#u20e0a581-54ec-5989-aaa5-19572de53311)
Chapter Three (#ua27e6aaa-8f7d-5c7e-8ac0-4381224f1468)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Questions for Discussion (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One
Shelby Russell steered her gray Malibu onto Highway 34 past the city limits sign of Dover, Mississippi, bracing herself against a sudden rush of painful memories. Coming home was the last thing she wanted to do. She’d turned her back on the small Southern town fifteen years ago and never looked back. Every goal she’d set for herself had been achieved. She’d risen through the ranks of Harmon Publishing to become senior editor of Tween Scene magazine, the top-selling publication for preteen girls in the country. It was a high-energy, high-stress job, and she loved every minute of it. But it was also the reason she was coming home.
Shelby eased the car to a halt behind a short line of cars waiting for a train to pass; the blinking red warning lights at the crossing were an unwelcome reminder of why she was back in Dover. A heart attack. She’d laughed in the doctor’s face when he’d delivered his diagnosis. Heart attacks were for old people. She was only thirty-four. True, she’d had only a very mild one, but the tests didn’t lie, and if she didn’t eliminate the stress and change her lifestyle, she wouldn’t be around to continue her exciting career. She’d already lost two grandfathers and an aunt to heart disease. She couldn’t ignore her medical history.
The crossing gate lifted, and Shelby eased forward with the traffic. So here she was, coming home to stay with her grandmother, her life in chaos, her future in doubt. She was thankful that she had someone here who still cared about her, someone she could turn to when the world didn’t make sense anymore. And right now, nothing did.
Her gaze surveyed the changes in the once-familiar surroundings as she followed the two-lane road toward town. The fields and piney woods surrounding the small town had been replaced with new shopping centers and an industrial park. A sprawling attendance center filled what once had been cotton fields. Courtesy of the new auto plant no doubt. Gramma had told her the plant, situated between the towns of Dover and Sawyers Bend, had brought about huge changes to both the once-dying towns.
As the highway gave way to downtown, the changes became more evident. The majestic courthouse still dominated the center of the town, but the surrounding trees were bigger and the elegant wrought-iron fence was a crisp shiny black. The historic gazebo, Dover’s iconic symbol, still stood proudly in one corner of the grounds, like a Victorian jewel in the late-afternoon sunshine. The four streets flanking the square, lined with 19th-century brick buildings, all sported freshly painted facades in a variety of colors. Many storefronts had bright awnings providing shade; others had flower-draped balconies. The entire area looked like a watercolor painting of the quintessential small Southern town. The Dover she remembered looked nothing like this.
Shelby pulled to a stop at the red light, willing herself not to look at the store on the corner, but the temptation was too great. Her gaze traveled to Durrant’s Hardware. The real reason she’d stayed away so long. Matt Durrant was here. Her heart pounded. Was Matt in the store right now? Had he taken over the family business? Probably. It was the reason she’d left. They had wanted different things out of life. Incompatible things.
The light changed and she focused on the road ahead, trying to push all thoughts of Matt to the back of her mind. She failed. Did he ever think about her? Was he as handsome now as he’d been then? Had he married?
Gritting her teeth, Shelby forced all thoughts of Matt and the past aside and focused on making the turns that would take her to Willow Street. She pulled into Gramma’s driveway and stopped, taking a moment to appreciate the two-story redbrick house. Nestled on a tree-lined street on the south edge of town, the foursquare-style home was a mirror image of the house next door. Their expansive lots butted up against the woodlands. Both homes had been built by Gramma’s great-great-grandfather and his brother, who helped found the railroad town, then known as Junction City. Her heart warmed as she gazed upon the stately dwelling. The large front porch, the potted chrysanthemums and the massive live oak tree in the yard all welcomed her home.
Home.
Memories of feeling safe, loved and happy flowed through her even as tears burned behind her eyes. She’d left here so full of dreams, determined to conquer the world, but she was returning with her life in turmoil. Mentally she kicked herself for holding a pity party. She might be down, but she wasn’t out. She would beat this. She would not let this health issue ruin her future. It was merely a matter of blocking out the fear and taking control of her life. She’d learn to relax. She’d learn to de-stress. She’d learn to be peaceful if it was the last thing she ever did.
Shelby let off the brake, guiding the car to the left of the Y-shaped driveway between the twin houses, and parked beneath the shade of a giant live oak. Her cramped muscles protested angrily as she unfolded herself from the vehicle, and a wave of exhaustion and defeat settled upon her shoulders. The long drive from New York to central Mississippi had been intended to give her time to relax and slow down. Instead, it had allowed too much time for regret and introspection. Neither of which eased her stress.
Gramma Bower burst through the front door and met her as Shelby topped the porch steps. Shelby’s mood brightened at the sight of her grandmother’s sweet face.
“Oh, my precious baby girl. I didn’t think you’d ever get here.”
Shelby went willingly into the warm, familiar hug, clinging to the woman who had been her refuge throughout her childhood. The loving embrace siphoned off much of her fatigue and eased her fears. Coming home to Gramma had been the right thing to do. She stepped back, taking a quick inventory. Gramma’s hair was grayer, and there were more lines in her dear face. A few more pounds hugged the sturdy frame since she’d last seen her, but Gramma was still the same woman who had always loved her unconditionally.
“Child, let me look at you.” She frowned. “You look tired.”
Leave it to Gramma to get right to the heart of a matter. “I am. It was a long trip.”
“Well, I know you said you needed to rest, but I had no idea. You’re pale as a ghost.” Gramma shook her head. “Come on inside. I have sugar cookies for you.”
The moment Shelby stepped inside the old house, her senses exploded with memories. She inhaled the familiar aroma of furniture polish, potpourri and fresh sugar cookies. The wood floors creaked a welcome beneath her feet as her fingers gently touched the worn spot on the newel post.
Her gaze quickly traveled around the rooms. Nothing had changed. The furnishings were still in the same place, as if time had stood still. Shelby soaked in the comfort of the old surroundings. Her own life might be in turmoil, but Gramma’s house would always be her safe haven. “It’s good to be home, Gramma. I’ve missed this place.”
“Well, it’s right where it’s always been.”
A lump of shame rose in her throat. “I know.” Since leaving town, Shelby had stayed in touch with her grandmother and made the obligatory Christmas visits to her mother and stepfather’s home in Pensacola, but she had staunchly avoided a visit to Dover. She couldn’t risk running into Matt.
As they walked through the hallway, past the gallery of family photos, Shelby saw the picture of her aunt Teresa on the wall, and her conscience stung. She’d missed her aunt’s funeral, her mother’s only sister and a woman only ten years older than herself. Tween Scene magazine had been putting together their double Christmas issue at the time and that had seemed more important. Now Shelby winced at her callousness. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it back for Aunt Teresa’s funeral.” Shelby followed her grandmother into the kitchen.
“I understood, baby. Really I did.” Gramma smiled, handing her a plate of still-warm sugar cookies.
Shelby briefly thought about the dietary rules the doctor had laid out. Her mouth watered at the savory aroma, banishing her guilt. There was no need to start that healthy lifestyle right now. Tomorrow was soon enough. Sinking her teeth into one warm and sweet cookie transported her back in time. She was ten. Her father had deserted her and her mother. Shelby had run to Gramma’s, scared, confused and in tears. Ellen had baked a batch of cookies and they’d talked and watched movies well into the night.
Gramma pointed at the plate and raised her eyebrows. “Eat up. Those might be the last ones you get for a while.”
Shelby stopped midbite. “Why?”
“I work part-time at the church during the week, and I volunteer at the hospital whenever I’m needed. Besides—” Gramma planted her hands on her ample hips “—you’re not supposed to be eating all that sugar.”
Shelby pursed her lips. “I don’t think a few cookies will do any harm.”
Ellen frowned. “I see you haven’t lost your habit of avoiding the unpleasant. Is this how you rose to the top of your field? By avoiding things?”
“No, of course not.”
“You are following the doctors’ instructions, aren’t you? You’re watching what you eat and exercising, taking your medications?”
Shelby reached for another cookie. The sample medications the doctor had given her had nearly run out, and the prescriptions were still in her purse. Filling them would make this whole thing too real. Too final. “I’m going to.”
“Going to? When?” Gramma huffed out a puff of irritation. “Shelby Kay, you’ve got to take your heart disease seriously. This isn’t something you can avoid. Baby. I’ve already lost a husband and a daughter. I don’t want to lose you, too.”
The pleading in her grandmother’s voice punctured her defenses and exposed the gnawing fear in her spirit. Tears welled up in her eyes and clogged her throat. She was a lost and confused child again whose world was crashing in around her. Gramma’s love was the only thing that had saved her. And God’s grace.
She pressed her fingers to her lips as the fear took hold. “Gramma, I’m scared. How could I have had a heart attack and not even know it? I thought it was indigestion.”
Gramma came to her side and pulled her shoulders. “Oh, my baby girl. I know. I’m sure the doctor explained to you that the symptoms are very different in women. But you can get through this if you’ll just rely on the Lord.”
Shelby shook her head. “It’s not only my health, Gramma. The company I work for, Harmon Publishing, was bought by a competitor. I might not even have a job to go back to. The new management assured us everything would continue as before, but it’s only a matter of time before the pink slips are handed out.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, but it’s only a job, after all.” Gramma squeezed her shoulders again. “It’ll all work itself out.”
Shelby pulled away, wiping her face with her palms and shaking her head. “It’s more than a job. This magazine is my life.”
Gramma scowled. “Nonsense.”
“My career is who I am.” Shelby stood and paced a few steps. “This is what I’ve worked for my whole life, and now I could lose everything.” Shelby buried her head in her hands. Gramma came quickly to her side, patting her back.
“You don’t know that. You’re facing a lot of obstacles right now, but you have your brains and your experience. You can always find a job. This might be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Shelby gritted her teeth against the idea. “How could losing my career be a good thing?” Her grandmother stiffened, and Shelby realized how belligerent and disrespectful she’d sounded. “I’m sorry, Gramma. But I don’t want to lose my job. It’s important to me.”
“Better your job than your life.” Gramma stared down at her. “Seems to me, you’ve forgotten who to turn to when you’re lost.”
Shelby sank back down onto the wooden chair and tried to swallow her irritation. She wasn’t surprised by her Gramma’s comments. Her grandfather had been a minister. “Church talk” had been commonplace here. There had been a time when she had embraced her faith, depended upon it, but after she’d left Dover she’d drifted away. She’d channeled all her energy into school and then her career. Along the way she’d lost her connection to her faith.
Gramma patted her hand and slid the cookie plate toward her. “Enjoy your cookies. Today is your homecoming celebration. Tomorrow we’ll face the changes you have to make.”
Shelby nodded, feeling the fear and anger ease a bit. She had resisted coming back to Dover, but now she knew it had been the right decision. A few days here under Gramma’s loving care would ease anyone’s stress. A new hope blossomed in her heart. She had six weeks in which to accomplish her goals. First, get a handle on her health. Second, avoid Matt Durrant at all costs. That shouldn’t be too difficult. She’d have no reason to go to his hardware store, and he lived on the opposite side of town. And maybe, if she could relax quickly enough, she could cut her leave in half and get back to work sooner, and that would decrease her odds of running into Matt.
Matthias Durrant. The only man she’d ever loved. They’d promised to love each other forever, to be together always, but it hadn’t worked out that way. Matt had changed the plan, and she’d been terrified of losing her dream.
She’d never regretted her decision. So why did she find herself wondering what her life would have been like if she’d stayed here with him? Followed his dream instead of her own? There was no point in thinking about it. The door to the past was closed forever and couldn’t be reopened.
* * *
Matt Durrant rested his wrists on the steering wheel of the old battered van, smiling as his passenger opened the door and got out. “Thanks for your help today, Carl.”
The man nodded and raised a hand. “My pleasure. That roof should have been repaired months ago. We need more volunteers.”
“Amen to that.”
“Thanks for dropping me off at the house.” Carl smiled. “It saved Nancy a trip to pick me up.”
“No problem.” Matt watched as his friend walked up the drive toward his house. The front door opened and his wife, Nancy, walked out to meet him, wrapping him in that special kind of hug only a wife could give. Matt looked away, ignoring the sudden ache in the center of his chest, and put the car in gear.
But the image replayed in his mind as he drove the Handy Works van toward his home on the opposite side of town. He’d once had that kind of love. Until three years ago, when cancer had taken his Katie away. He called up a memory, looking for the comfort that normally soothed his wounded soul, but it didn’t come. Instead he found a gray void.
For the first time he longed for a real moment, not a vision of what had been. His memories had sustained him, kept him afloat, but lately it had been harder and harder to find solace in the past. Seeing Carl and Nancy just now had cracked the protective wall around his heart, exposing his vulnerability. Loneliness.
He’d been lonely every second since Katie had died, but this was different. This was more like a yearning, a hunger for something more. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly. His heart would always be missing the piece that Katie had filled. That first year he’d struggled to manage his grief against that of his children, trying to find a balance between keeping Katie’s memory alive and not being crushed under the memory of her illness and death. The decision to leave Atlanta and move home to Dover had been another upheaval in their lives that couldn’t be avoided. The pressures of his job had stolen precious time from his children. And they were his primary concern now.
Katie had begged him to not stop living after she was gone. She’d wanted him to find love and happiness again, but the thought had been abhorrent to him. He had no desire to risk his heart or his children’s on that kind of loss again. None of them could survive it a second time. It’s why he’d made the decision to come home. He wanted to raise his children near their grandparents, in a town where family values were still cherished.
Matt turned the corner onto Willow Street. Envy. That’s what had stirred up those old emotions. He was envious of Carl and Nancy’s normal life. But he knew he had so much to be thankful for. Two amazing kids, a family that loved and supported him, a job that allowed him to be home a good bit—the van hit a pothole and every bolt rattled and shook. He smiled. And a ministry that helped the community and allowed him to help others. Handy Works had been his sister’s brainchild. A mobile neighborhood help program, manned by volunteers who would donate their time and talents to making repairs and cleanup for those in need. He and his friend Carl Young had taken advantage of a rare afternoon free from teaching classes at Wells Community College to devote time to repairing the roof of an elderly man who lived at the edge of town.
Inhaling a deep breath, he reminded himself of his abundant blessings. Too many to count. This sudden feeling of loneliness would pass. Katie was the only woman he’d ever loved. No. There had been one other woman. A long time ago. But she’d abandoned him.
Matt flipped the blinker to turn into his driveway. Funny. Katie abandoned him through death; the other woman had abandoned him by choice. Maybe he was destined to be alone. Losing Katie had shredded his soul. He would never, ever love again. The risk was too great.
* * *
Shelby felt like a new person. Almost. Gramma had settled her into her old room on the east side of the house. The wide bay window faced the twin house next door but also afforded a view of the woods out back. This room hadn’t changed either. The same white curtains graced the window; the lavender bedspread was more faded but still thick and soft. And at the edge of the window sat her favorite chair, the green-and-white shell back with a tufted ottoman to prop your feet on. For the first time in years, Shelby knew a sense of belonging.
But it was temporary. Only until she could get back on her feet physically. She tried not to think about what effect heart disease might have on her future job search. Would anyone hire her with a preexisting condition? Removing her laptop from its case, she scooped up her smart phone from the nightstand and headed downstairs. She’d worry about that later.
Gramma was looking through cabinets when Shelby stepped into the kitchen. She turned and frowned at the devices in Shelby’s hands. “What are you going to do with those?”
“I have a few loose ends to tie up at work. I’m still employed for the moment, and the magazine has to go on. Medical leave or not.” Truth was, there was little she could do. Everything was on hold, but it helped to keep busy. It made her feel like she was doing something.
Ellen planted her fists on her hips and pursed her lips. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, and if you have any sense at all, you’ll follow orders. You’ll unplug yourself from those things and you’ll rest, eat right and get some exercise.”
She acknowledged the necessity of following the doctor’s advice, but Tween Scene was her baby, and she’d spent every ounce of her time and energy over the years making it successful. To suddenly turn her back and walk away when its future was in doubt seemed irresponsible. Besides, what was she supposed to do with her time? Sit in the rocker and crochet?
“I’m not good at being idle, Gramma.”
“Resting and taking care of yourself is not being idle.”
“You know what I mean.” Shelby placed her computer on the kitchen table. “I need to be busy. You know how Mom felt about being unproductive. If she had any idea how much time I spent looking at your magazines when I was here, she’d have never let me come back.”
“Your mother wanted you to have an education and be able to take care of yourself.”
“And I can, but now everyone’s telling me to stop and stand still.”
Gramma exhaled a sympathetic sigh. “I understand. But this is a new chapter in your life, and you’ll have to find something different to fill your time. Something quieter, slower paced.”
The thought made Shelby’s skin crawl. She didn’t like being inactive. She like planning and deadlines. “I’m not sure I can do that.”
“You don’t really have a choice.” Gramma patted her shoulder. “I’m sorry to go off and leave you on your first day home, but I’m filling in at the hospital this afternoon for a friend. There’s chicken salad in the fridge in case you get hungry. It’s made with all low-fat, healthy ingredients. I’ll be home in a couple of hours if you want to eat together. In the meantime, relax.”
An hour later Shelby tossed her cell phone onto the dining room table and buried her head in her hands. It looked like the other shoe was about to drop at Harmon Publishing. Her boss had called to tell her a meeting had been scheduled for all upper management regarding the sale, but no other information had been given.
The ever-present knot of anxiety in her stomach grew. What would she do if she lost her job? How would she survive? Her mind churned with a frightening list of possible disasters. Her heart rate quickened, and a steady pressure began to build in her chest. She closed her eyes against a wave of fear. Was she having another heart attack or an anxiety attack? The doctor said the symptoms were similar. She’d been oblivious to her first episode, so how did she know if this was serious or not?
“Please, Lord, don’t let this be another one.” She’d experienced these symptoms before—the light-headedness, then a clammy sensation and a strange sense of foreboding. Her first thought had been a brain tumor. When the symptoms persisted, she’d gone to the clinic, but they’d sent her home with instructions to cut back on caffeine and sugar.
A second episode sent her to the hospital, where extensive tests had been run. That’s when Dr. Morgan had delivered his diagnosis and his ultimatum. Time off or face the consequences. She couldn’t afford to ignore this any longer. Not when death was the option.
Inhaling a slow, deep breath, she breathed a sigh of relief when her pulse slowed to normal once again and the tension eased. Frustration and anger quickly took its place, driving her outside onto the wooden porch swing. Her favorite refuge. The gentle back-and-forth movement settled her thoughts. It wasn’t fair. All she’d ever wanted was to work for a magazine. Her whole life since high school had been geared toward her career. She’d studied hard and sacrificed much to achieve her goal. Now it was all being taken away. Why was God doing this to her? Was this her punishment for ignoring Him all this time?
Tears stung the backs of her eyes. She squeezed them shut, unwilling to give in. She never cried. But since her diagnosis she’d started bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It was infuriating.
“Chester!”
She looked up at the shout to see a small, scruffy gray dog dart up the steps of the porch and stop at her feet. The little dog growled and barked, inching forward then back as he defended his territory.
Shelby chuckled softly. “Oh, hush. I’m not going to hurt you.” Slowly she opened her hand, palm up, and inched it toward the dog. “See, it’s okay.”
The dog stopped growling and studied her. He retreated, then cocked his head and slowly moved forward. “There. Nothing to be upset about.” The dog’s tail began to wag furiously and he licked her hand. “Good doggie.” She stroked his small head. It was soft and warm.
“Chester! You’d better get yourself back over here before you get in trouble.”
Shelby looked up as a young girl came toward the house from the driveway. She appeared to be about eleven years old.
“Chester!” She hurried up the steps, placing her hands on her waist when she saw the dog. “You are in big trouble, mister.” She glanced at Shelby. “I’m sorry he barked at you, ma’am.”
“That’s okay. I think we worked it out. He’s a good watchdog. He knew I was a stranger so he was probably trying to protect you.”
The girl shrugged. “I guess.” She studied Shelby intently for a long moment. “Does Mrs. Bower know you’re here?”
Shelby smiled. “Yes. I’m going to be staying here for a while. I’m her granddaughter.”
The girl frowned. “I don’t remember you.”
“I’ve been away a long time. I live in New York City.” Shelby swallowed the regret that had been nagging at her since coming home. “My name is Shelby. And I take it this is Chester?”
“Yeah,” she groaned in disgust and frowned. “I didn’t name him. My brother did. My name is Cassidy.”
Shelby couldn’t help but smile at her grown-up indignation. “Nice to meet you, Cassidy.” Footsteps sounded on the steps, and a little boy joined them. He was out of breath.
“Aw, Chester you are in tra-bull. You can’t come over here.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “This is my little brother, Kenny. He’s six.”
Kenny stared at her.
“I’m Shelby. I’m staying here with my grandmother, Mrs. Bower.”
“Oh.” He smiled, displaying two deep dimples at the sides of his mouth. “She makes us sugar cookies.”
“I know. She made them for me when I was little. In fact, she made some for me today. Would you like one?”
Cassidy took hold of Chester’s collar. “Thanks, but we can’t take food from strangers.”
Shelby was momentarily taken aback. Then common sense kicked in and she smiled at the children. “That’s a good rule. You’re right. Maybe after we get to know each other, we can share some cookies.”
Cassidy smiled. Her thickly lashed, dark blue eyes triggered something familiar in the back of Shelby’s mind, but she couldn’t place it.
“We have to take Chester home now.” Cassidy tugged the dog toward the steps. “Our aunt will be wondering where we are.”
“Okay. Nice to have met you. You and Chester are welcome here any time.”
“Thanks. I’ll tell my dad.” Cassidy waved goodbye.
Shelby stood and walked to the edge of the porch, watching the children tugging the little dog back home. She’d wondered who lived next door in the duplicate house. Gramma had told her Mrs. Marshall had passed away several years ago and the house had changed hands a couple of times. Obviously a family lived there now.
As the children neared the porch of their home, an old battered van pulled into the driveway. The sign painted on the side read “Handy Works.” Decals of various tools decorated the side panels, proclaiming some sort of handyman business.
Shelby watched as the children hurried toward the van. The door opened, and a man emerged. Tall and well-built with dark brown hair, the deep blue knit shirt he wore emphasized strong, broad shoulders and muscular arms. Faded, well-worn jeans hugged his long legs like an old friend. Dusty, work-scuffed Western boots completed the masculine picture.
He turned, arms open as the children ran to him. He lifted them off the ground in a tight hug, swinging them back and forth playfully. Shelby smiled. Not only was the man ridiculously attractive, he obviously adored his children. A lethal combination. Cassidy and Kenny began chatting away. She could hear their little voices across the wide, shared driveway. Kenny suddenly pointed toward her, and she smiled, raising her hand. The father turned and faced her. Her heart froze. Blood drained from her face.
No. It couldn’t be. Please, Lord, don’t do this to me. The man staring back at her was the last man on earth she wanted to see. Cassidy and Kenny’s father was Matthias Durrant, the fiancé she’d jilted for her career fifteen years ago.
Chapter Two
Matt Durrant turned his back and followed his children into the house, his jaw clenched, his gut in knots.
Shelby was back.
He never expected to see her in Dover again. Ever. She’d made her opinion of small-town life abundantly clear the day she gave back his ring. “I don’t want a small-town man with small-town dreams.”
Shelby Russell had broken his heart and abandoned him when he’d needed her most. He’d counted on her love and support to sustain him through a difficult time in his life. But instead she’d cut and run, giving back his ring, accusing him of breaking his promise. But what about her promise to him? Her own future had been more important than their future together. He’d finally come to terms with her rejection, though he’d never understood her sudden change of heart. Never understood how she could claim to love him one minute and walk away the next. It was only several years later, when he’d met Katie, that he’d been able to put Shelby’s rejection behind him and move forward.
So why, after all this time, did his heart still sting from Shelby’s rejection? And why had that brief glimpse of her hit him like a lightning bolt, filling his mind with things he thought he’d forgotten? He remembered her brown eyes had small specks of gold in them. He remembered the silken feel of her long brown hair, now worn shoulder-length and soft around her face. He remembered the impish, self-conscious smile that would make his heart skip a beat.
The girlish figure he remembered had given way to soft, womanly curves. Maturity looked good on her. He hated himself for noticing. He hated more that she could still cause a reaction in him after all this time. After what she’d done.
“Daddy, she was really nice.” Cassidy’s blue eyes were bright with excitement. “And she’s from New York.”
Matt frowned. He’d been bombarded with his children’s disjointed conversation from the moment he’d climbed from the van. Something about a lady and cookies. When he glanced over at the house it had all become clear. He rubbed his forehead in irritation. “How did you meet her?”
“I told you,” Cassidy explained, her tone tinged with irritation. “When Chester ran over to her house. She was sitting on the swing, and Chester was barking. I guess he thought she was a stranger so he was trying to warn us. Only she wasn’t a stranger. She’s Miss Ellen’s granddaughter and then—”
Matt placed a hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “Okay. I get the picture.”
Cassidy smiled. “She’s nice.”
Matt set his jaw. That’s not how he’d describe Shelby Russell. Self-centered. Insensitive. Career-driven, yes. But nice?
“She was going to give us sugar cookies, but Cassidy said no ’cause she was a stranger,” Kenny complained.
“Who’s a stranger?”
Matt glanced over at his younger sister, Laura Durrant, who had come to stand at the boy’s side. She’d been watching the children after school each day. He had a full schedule of classes this semester, which meant he wouldn’t get home until supper time. But she’d informed him two days ago that he’d have to find someone else. “That was the right thing to do, son.”
Kenny’s shoulders slacked. “Yes, sir, but Mrs. Bower made them. You always let us have her cookies. How come we couldn’t have any this time?”
“Because you didn’t know Shelby, that’s why.” Matt struggled to maintain his patience.
Laura frowned. “Shelby Russell?”
Matt jammed his hands into his pockets. “She’s back. She’s staying with Ellen Bower.”
“Oh. I’ll bet Miss Ellen is excited. Shelby hasn’t been home since you two broke up, has she?”
“I wouldn’t know.” He could see his little sister’s mind digesting the news.
“Hmm. Wonder what brought her back to Dover after all this time?” She glanced at him sideways, an ornery smirk on her face. “Maybe she came to look up old friends and acquaintances.”
Matt forced a smile over clenched teeth. “Why don’t you ask her?”
Laura raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. “I think I might. You know, I heard she’s an editor at some big magazine in New York. Mom ran across her name in an article someplace. Looks like our Shelby has reached the top of the career ladder. Good for her. It’s what she always wanted.”
“It’s all she ever wanted,” Matt muttered softly.
Laura winced. “Is that the sound of sour grapes being trampled? You know—” she pointed a finger at her brother “—they say you never forget your first love. Well, kids, I’m out of here.” She gave Cassidy a hug and Kenny a fist bump.
“You want to stay and eat?” Matt offered the invite as she moved to the door.
She winked. “Not this time. I’m booked for the evening. Oh.” Laura turned back to her brother. “Have you found someone to watch the kids yet? I hate that I had to bail on you so suddenly, but I couldn’t turn down the restoration job in Mobile. It’ll be a huge boost to my company.”
“Don’t worry about it. But to answer your question, no, I haven’t found anyone yet.” Matt ran a hand down the back of his neck. “Normally, I’d ask Mom, but since she’s running for city council, she doesn’t have the time.”
“What about Ellen Bower? Doesn’t she watch them for you sometimes?”
“Yes, but she’s so busy with her volunteer work I rarely see her. Besides, watching the kids for a short time now and again is different from watching them every day. It might be too much for her.”
Laura picked up her backpack, fishing out her truck keys. “Well, you could always ask Shelby. She’s right next door.”
Matt gritted his teeth and followed his sister to the door. “Yeah, but for how long? She’ll probably be gone before you can blink.”
Laura turned to face him. “What’s bothering you, big brother?”
“Nothing. Forget it.” Matt smiled at his baby sister. Looking at her, no one would ever guess the slim, petite woman was a skilled and licensed carpenter and builder. Her company specialized in restoring old homes and buildings. Laura couldn’t stand to see anything neglected and ignored.
Outside on the front porch, they both looked over at Ellen Bower’s house.
Laura, glanced sideways at her brother. “So. Are you going to go say hello?”
“Why?”
Laura shrugged. “She’s right next door. Aren’t you the least bit curious why she came back after all this time?”
“No.”
“You’re going to act like she isn’t there?”
He glared in response. It sounded like a good idea to him.
Laura hoisted her backpack onto her shoulder. “You’re being childish.” She turned and started down the front steps to her truck.
Matt stood on the porch after Laura drove off, staring at the Bower house. Why was Shelby back, and how long was she staying? She’d made it clear long ago that she had no interest in small-town dreams. He’d known Ellen was Shelby’s grandmother, but the subject of Shelby had never come up. Besides, the likelihood of her showing up in Dover was not great—or so he’d believed.
“Daddy, can we have mac and cheese for supper?”
Matt glanced down at his son’s face, and the eager smile chased away his concerns. “I think your aunt Laura left us some chicken and noodles. How does that sound?”
“With biscuits? Yum.” Kenny turned and raced back into the house, shouting the news to his sister. Matt took one last glance at the house next door and followed his son inside. He had more important things to worry about than Shelby Russell’s presence in Dover. Like who was he going to get to watch his kids for the next several weeks?
Matt barely heard what his children said as he prepared the evening meal. He was too distracted by the search for a babysitter to pay much attention. He’d made a few calls to women he knew at church and the mothers of a couple of Cassidy’s friends, but no one was available long-term. By the time he sat down at the table he was nearing desperation. He glanced down at his empty plate. He had no idea if the meal had been good or not.
“Can Chester sleep with me tonight?”
“No, Kenny, he can’t. You know the rules.” Matt rose from the table and carried his plate to the sink. He had only one option. Ellen Bower. If she turned him down, he’d be forced to look into a professional child-care service. Not something he felt comfortable doing.
“Okay, you two. Time to clean up the kitchen.”
“Daddy, now that we know that lady, can I have cookies if she asks?”
Matt gritted his teeth. He didn’t want his kids getting too chummy with Shelby. But then, he probably didn’t need to worry. Whatever her reason for coming home, Dover couldn’t hold her attention for long. She’d run back to her all-important career after a few days.
“I guess that would be all right. But I’m sure Miss Russell will be very busy. You probably won’t see her much.”
Kenny frowned. “But I like her. She likes Chester.” He bent down and hugged the dog’s neck.
Matt exhaled a huff of irritation. His son liked Shelby. It must be some sort of weird gene in the Durrant family that drew them to her. His father and brother had liked her, too. Fifteen years ago, Matt had been engaged to her. For twenty-four hours.
“Okay, kids, finish up your chores and then you can watch television while I run next door for a few minutes.”
“Are you going to say hello to Miss Shelby?” Cassidy’s smile reflected her delight.
“No. I have to see if Miss Ellen can watch you after school from now on.”
Cassidy emptied her glass into the sink. “Why can’t Aunt Laura stay with us?”
“She’s going to be working out of town.” Matt pointed at Kenny. “You make sure you feed Chester and give him fresh water.”
Matt made his way to the front door, mentally battling with his emotions. It would be easy to pick up the phone, call Ellen and avoid seeing Shelby. But his little sister was right about one thing. Trying to ignore Shelby, act like she wasn’t right next door, was childish.
A small voice inside warned him about being near Shelby. She’d always had a powerful effect on him. She’d made him feel strong and protective. He shoved the thought aside. He was a grown man. Not a lovesick college kid.
He’d speak to Ellen, acknowledge Shelby’s presence then come home. Besides, this wasn’t about him. He had to protect his kids. His children had spent only a few minutes with her and she’d already cast her spell over them. With Shelby right next door, his kids would likely grow deeply attached, and then what would happen when she skipped town without warning? Broken hearts, that’s what. He couldn’t let that happen. She needed to understand how emotionally vulnerable Kenny and Cassidy were since their mother’s death. All he was asking was that she keep her distance for the few days she was here. It wasn’t an unreasonable request. Merely a “good fences make good neighbors” conversation. Setting some boundaries. That’s all.
Cassidy stuck her head out the front door. “Will you tell Miss Shelby I said hi?”
Matt nodded and set his jaw. Okay, maybe a wall instead of a fence. “Will do.”
* * *
Shelby closed her laptop with a firm snap and shoved away from the dining room table. Trying to work was useless. She couldn’t get Matt’s image out of her mind. She’d stood on the porch earlier immobilized, watching as Matt turned his back and walked away. His message loud and clear. They had nothing to say to one another.
Her insides burned with the rejection. What had she expected? That he’d be glad to see her? She’d run out on him. Told him he wasn’t good enough. Her conscience stung when she remembered her cruel words to him that night. She had been so arrogant, so disdainful of what she perceived as his lack of ambition. How could she make him understand that breaking their engagement was the hardest thing she’d ever done? But he was the one who had reneged on all their dreams. She’d had no choice.
She stood and went to the kitchen and searched for something to munch. A bowl of apples sat on the counter. Common sense told her to eat one. A healthy choice. What she wanted was chocolate.
Closing her eyes, she fought the urge to look out the window at Matt’s house, hungry for another glimpse of him. He was even more handsome than she’d remembered. Age had broadened his shoulders, deepened his chest and chiseled the planes of his face. There was a masculine confidence in his bearing that couldn’t be ignored. And the gentle, tender heart she’d fallen in love with was displayed in the unabashed love of his children.
Matt had been everything she’d ever wanted in a man.
She opened her eyes, staring across the drive. Part of her longed to see him coming toward the house to—what? Say all was forgiven? Let’s start over? But another part of her hoped he would stay on his side of the driveway and ignore her for the remainder of her stay. Confronting him would be too painful, no matter the outcome.
Her conscience stung again. Gramma was right. Avoiding conflict was one of her biggest faults. She was avoiding her illness, avoiding making the changes she needed. And now, hoping to avoid Matt.
Forcing herself to move, Shelby picked up an apple and took a bite, her mind bursting with questions. How had he come to live next door, and what had he been doing all these years? Obviously he’d married and had children. What was his wife like? Was it someone she knew from school? What about the Handy Works van? Was that what he did for a living? It would make sense. His father owned the hardware store where they’d met. She had noticed a large pickup in the drive as well, but it was gone now. Apparently he’d followed in his father’s footsteps.
Movement outside the window caught her attention. She froze. Matt. He was coming over. “No. Not now. I’m not ready. I can’t deal with this right now.” She held her breath, watching him come across the drive. She could still see the young man she remembered in his slow, easy gait. The male grace he’d displayed as a young man was still evident. The years had done little to diminish his attractiveness. She turned away, her stomach in knots, flinching when the knock on the door echoed through the house. He was coming to demand an answer for her breaking their engagement. What would she say? I ran because I was afraid I’d never get out of this place if I didn’t?
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and lost her breath. He didn’t look like the father of two. With his square-jawed good looks and athletic physique, he could have graced the cover of any magazine. His dark brown hair still lay in waves across his head. The cobalt-blue eyes with their thick lashes were still compelling and magnetic. The only thing missing was his smile. She doubted if she’d ever see that again. She cleared her throat, searching desperately for her voice.
“Hello, Shelby.”
“Hey.” It was all she could squeak out past the lump in her throat.
Shelby motioned him inside. He nodded and stepped over the threshold. She closed the door behind him, struggling to maintain a casual attitude while ignoring the tantalizing smell of his aftershave.
“I had no idea you lived next door.” She forced a smile. “It was a surprise seeing you drive up today.”
Matt frowned. “Ellen didn’t tell you?”
“No, but then she never knew we...” She faltered. “Gramma and Grandpa were on a mission trip the summer we dated.”
He nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Her heart pounded so fiercely she wondered if he could hear it. Now that he was here, all she wanted was to get it over with. “Would you like to sit down?”
“No. I need to talk to Ellen. Is she here?”
Shelby’s tension deflated like a punctured balloon. Matt wasn’t here to see her at all. She should have been relieved, but instead she swallowed a large gulp of disappointment. “She’s not here at the moment, but I expect her home anytime. You’re welcome to wait.”
Matt’s jaw worked side to side a moment, as if gauging his next words.
“How long are you staying?”
She blinked. That wasn’t the question she’d anticipated. Apparently he was going to get right to the point. Fine. She could take it. Raising her chin, she crossed her arms over her chest and faced him. Matt’s blue gaze pierced through her. Blue eyes exactly like Cassidy’s. Now she knew why they’d seemed so familiar. “Six weeks or so. My schedule is flexible.”
Matt planted his hands on his hips. A smirk curved one corner of his mouth upward. “Six whole weeks. You sure you won’t get bored so far from the big city? We pull in the sidewalk around seven, remember?”
“Yes. I remember.” Her heart burned. He was throwing her words from long ago back in her face.
“I’m sure you do. So, what brings you back to the small-town life?”
She ignored the flash of pain his sarcasm inflicted. “I had time accrued that I needed to use, and I wanted to spend time with Gramma.”
“Can the corporate world survive without you?”
She lifted her chin. He was really getting under her skin with his sour attitude. “It’s the wireless age, Matt. I can do my work from anywhere. Have laptop will travel. Clouds and smart phones are our friends. You do have those things here in your small town, don’t you?”
“I know all about working from home.”
“Really? So the world of hammers and nails is high tech now?” Her condescending words sent a hot rush of remorse along her nerves. She hadn’t meant to handle their meeting this way, as if she were eighteen and scared and confused. She’d wanted to face him as a highly successful, competent woman of the world.
“I don’t work at the store anymore, Shelby. That’s my father’s job.”
There was a low, threatening undercurrent to his tone that scraped against her nerves. She ignored it. “So you have your own handyman business now? I saw the van when you drove up.”
Matt’s eyes darkened, and he shifted his weight slightly as if trying to control himself. “I only do that part-time. You know how we small-town guys are. We work as little as possible so we have more time to hunt and fish. We’re not very ambitious.”
Shelby cringed at hearing her own words taunting her. So much for putting on a front. Being face-to-face with him hurt more than she’d ever imagined. “Matt, please...”
The sound of a car pulling in the drive meant Gramma was back. Her chance to escape. “I’ll let Gramma know you’re here.” Quickly she moved through the hall and into the kitchen, meeting Ellen as she opened the door. “Why didn’t you tell me Matt Durrant lived next door to you?”
Ellen blinked in surprise. “I didn’t think you’d care.”
“I don’t. I mean, it was a surprise, that’s all.”
Gramma came into the kitchen, a puzzled frown marring her brow. “What difference could that make to you?”
“Because we were—” She hesitated, gauging her words. “We knew each other in school.”
Gramma shook her head. “I don’t understand. What does that have to do with anything?”
Shelby exhaled an exasperated grunt. There was no way she could make Gramma understand without going into the grim details of her past relationship with Matt, and she wasn’t ready to deal with that right now. “Never mind. He’s here. He wants to talk to you.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Gramma set her purse and a small sack of groceries on the counter, then strode toward the living room. Shelby followed slowly behind, stopping at the archway and leaning against the side. The more distance between her and Matt the better.
“Hello, Matt. You wanted to talk to me?”
Shelby listened as Matt quickly outlined the situation. Apparently he was in dire need of a babysitter. Something about all-day classes and needing help after school. What that had to do with a handyman business she didn’t know. She had to wonder where the mother was. Out of town perhaps?
“Oh dear, I don’t know. I’m so busy with my church work and the hospital. I hate to turn you down but...” Ellen turned to Shelby and smiled. “I have it. Shelby and I can both watch them. We’ll be like a tag team. When I’m volunteering she can fill in. It’s the perfect solution.”
Shelby couldn’t believe her ears. It took her a full second to find her voice. “What? No. I can’t. I mean—” She glanced over at Matt, who looked as horrified by the idea as she did.
“No. I mean, I wouldn’t dream of imposing on your granddaughter while she’s visiting. I’m sure I can work something out.”
Ellen waved off his concerns. “What are neighbors for? When do we start?”
Matt shifted his weight. “Tomorrow afternoon, but...” Gramma’s landline suddenly rang, breaking the tension in the room. “Oh, I’d better get that. That’ll be fine, Matt. I’m free in the afternoon. Send the children over here when they get off the bus.” Ellen waved at Matt and hurried toward the other room, leaving Shelby alone with Matt again.
Shelby searched for something to say. “Matt, I—”
“You met my kids.” His tone was flat and cool.
Shelby nodded, mentally scurrying to regain her footing at his abrupt change of subject. “They’re adorable. I like their dog, too.” She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of them. “They were very well-behaved. Cassidy politely refused my offer of cookies because she didn’t know me. You and your wife should be proud. You’ve done a wonderful job with them.”
Matt paled. His eyes turned dark and cold. “My wife died three years ago.”
She gasped. “Oh, Matt. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” He pinned her with a cold blue glare.
“My kids have been through a lot. They’re emotionally vulnerable and they tend to give their hearts too easily. I don’t want those hearts broken by a stranger passing through town.”
Stranger? Was that how he thought of her now? Before she could respond, he turned and walked to the door.
He stopped, looking over his shoulder. “Do we understand each other?”
There was a warning in his tone that was impossible to miss—stay away from my children. She nodded, stunned and dazed. The door closed behind him with a sharp pop, like a bullet to her heart.
* * *
Matt strode across the driveway. He shouldn’t have gone to Ellen’s. He should have called. He thought he’d been prepared to face Shelby again, but he’d been wrong. From the moment she’d opened the door he’d been rattled. She looked even more amazing up close, as fresh and lovely as he’d remembered. Her nearness had released a kaleidoscope of memories he didn’t want to explore. There was so much he’d wanted to say, to ask, but nothing would change the past. Nothing would explain away the wound she’d inflicted.
At the edge of the driveway, he stopped, casting his eyes upward briefly. Ellen’s solution to his babysitting problem had blindsided him. He had wanted to turn her down flat, shout that he didn’t want Shelby close to his kids. The last thing he needed was for his kids to form an attachment to Shelby, because when she left, and she would leave, the kids would lose another close relationship. He wouldn’t let that happen. But he’d been trapped. Ellen was his only option.
If only Katie were here. She’d know how to handle this. But if she were, there would be no need. He’d have his wife back, his kids would have their mom and he wouldn’t feel like he was constantly treading water just to survive.
As he walked past the Handy Works van, the words written on the side panel caught his attention. Showing God’s Grace. He stopped. Remorse surged through him. He hadn’t shown any grace to Shelby just now. He’d been curt, rude and unfeeling. Not the way he’d intended it to go. Or was it?
His conscience faulted him for being harsh and judgmental, but his heart told him he had to protect his kids from people like Shelby. People who turned their backs on the things in life that really mattered. He owed her an apology for his bad attitude but not for his position. As far as he was concerned, she was a stranger passing through. Nothing more.
Matt set his jaw and strode past the van toward the house. Shelby had assumed he had a handyman business. He should have expected that. She’d called him “a small-town man with small-town dreams.” He’d started to explain, then changed his mind. Let her believe whatever she wanted.
All that mattered was protecting the hearts of his children.
* * *
Shelby stared at the closed door, struggling to breathe through the thickness in her throat. She’d imagined her reunion with Matt in a thousand different ways, but never like that. She knew she’d hurt him when she’d broken their brief engagement, and she’d expected him to be angry. But the man who had walked out of the house wasn’t the gentle, tender boy she remembered. He was a fierce, protective guardian warning her to keep her distance from his children.
He’d made his opinion of her crystal clear. He had never forgiven her for what she’d done. She couldn’t blame him. She’d turned her back on everything he cared about. Belittled his beliefs and his dreams. She sank into a kitchen chair, fighting tears. “Small-town man with small-town dreams.”
How many times had she longed to take back her angry words? She wanted to explain to him how she’d felt that night fifteen years ago. How scared and confused she’d been. They’d had plans to go to college, to escape the backward life of Dover. But the day after he’d given her the ring, he’d changed. Instead of talking about their dreams for the future, he’d talked about settling down, staying in Dover. She’d felt betrayed. He’d said he wanted the same things she did, but apparently a ring on her finger had erased all that. Her mother’s dire warning was coming true. She’d said that ring only meant one thing, that Matt would expect her to give up her dreams for his. “You’ll be trapped here just like me.” She hadn’t wanted to believe her mother was right, but at that moment, it had seemed all too true.
It had all been so clear to her then. Either marry Matt and spend the rest of her life in a choked-off life in Mississippi or run like crazy toward college and her dreams of working on a magazine. Only one course of action had made sense. Run. It had been a matter of survival. And she’d achieved her dream. She stood at the top of her field. Though for how much longer, she didn’t know.
But at the moment she had a more urgent concern. Gramma was setting the table when she entered the kitchen. “Gramma, I can’t babysit Matt’s kids.”
“You aren’t, sweetie. I am. You’ll be my backup. It’ll be fun. They are darling kids. You’ll love them.”
“I met them this afternoon while you were gone. Their dog came over.”
“Aren’t they precious?” Gramma smiled. “Matt and Katie did a great job.”
Katie. The wife. Her throat tightened. “How did his wife die?”
“Cancer. That’s why he moved back home.”
Back home? “He hasn’t been here the whole time?”
“No. He owned some kind of big computer business in Atlanta. He sold it and moved back here about a year ago to be closer to his family.”
Shelby sorted through this new information. She’d always assumed Matt would never leave Dover. It was the crux of their breakup. It didn’t make sense.
Sinking down into the chair, she rested her elbows on the table and cradled her aching head. Could things get any worse? She’d come here to rest, ease the stress in her life, but how was she supposed to do that with Matt right next door? She’d have been better off if she’d stayed in New York. Matt’s pointed warning echoed in her mind. “He doesn’t want me watching his kids, Gramma.”
Ellen set the plates down on the table, a deep frown creasing her forehead. “Is there something between you two I should know about?”
Shelby inhaled. Great. She couldn’t avoid this any longer. “We dated.” Might as well tell it all. “We were engaged. Briefly. We broke up.” She hoped her grandmother wouldn’t press for more details. She couldn’t deal with that at the moment.
“I see. When was this?”
“The summer before I went to college. I was working at the Durrant’s hardware store. You and Grandpa were in Belize.” She shrugged as if it were insignificant, hoping her grandmother would let the subject drop.
“Oh.” Gramma lowered herself onto a chair. “I had no idea you were serious about anyone. That does make things awkward, but that was a long time ago. Why should it bother you so much now? Unless...” Gramma eyed her closely. “Ah. I see.”
Shelby squirmed. She never could hide her feelings from her grandmother.
“Well, it seems to me you two need to settle this thing between you pretty quick. It’s been going on way too long, don’t you agree?”
Chapter Three
Matt closed the lid on the Insect Man lunch box and set it beside the matching backpack. A quick glance around the kitchen revealed an escaped homework folder peeking out from under the stack of mail and flyers for his mom’s city council campaign. He pulled it out and unzipped Cassidy’s pink plaid backpack, sliding the folder inside as he called her name. “Cassidy. It’s time to go. Hurry it up, please.”
Kenny skidded to a halt beside the kitchen island, holding up his hands and baring his teeth for inspection. Matt turned the little palms over, then tilted his son’s face upward. “Looking good, sport.”
Kenny smiled and reached for his backpack. “Do we still get to go to Miss Ellen’s after school?”
Matt masked his concern with a forced smile. “Yes. And I expect you to behave yourselves.”
“Will Miss Shelby be there?” Cassidy slung her backpack over her shoulder and looked at him with expectant eyes. He stared down at her. Something was different. Her hair was sticking out on one side. He’d learned the hard way not to question his daughter’s fashion sense too vigorously. Maybe she meant it to look like that. “Uh, I suppose. But I’m sure she’ll be busy with her work, so don’t bother her. Miss Ellen is your babysitter.” And if he could make other arrangements he would. He wanted as much separation between Shelby Russell and his kids as possible.
“Okay, everyone to the van. We’re running out of time.”
Kenny’s eyes widened. “You mean we get to ride to school in the Handy Works van?”
“’Fraid so. I left my car at Grandpa’s store yesterday.”
Cassidy’s shoulders sagged, and she exhaled a disgusted whine. “Can’t we go get our car first? The van is ugly.”
“Ugly or not, it’s your only mode of transportation this morning.” Matt touched her shoulder, steering her toward the door.
“At least I’ll get to see Miss Shelby when I get home.”
Matt groaned inwardly. He had no choice about babysitters for the next couple of days, but he fully intended to beat every bush and look behind every tree until he found someone else to watch his kids.
Pulling the door closed behind him, Matt followed his kids to the van. Confident in his plan.
* * *
Shelby stared out the kitchen window at Matt’s house. She’d been forced to alter her assumptions about him. Not only had Matt left Dover, but he’d had a successful business and a wonderful marriage. Losing his wife had wounded him deeply. The grief reflected in his eyes still haunted her. As did his very pointed warning.
Did Matt think she would deliberately hurt his kids? Probably. He was assuming that she would walk out on them the way she had him. He wasn’t going to forgive her, and she had no one to blame but herself. She was finally reaping what she had sown.
So how was she supposed to babysit and still keep her distance? Hopefully, most of the babysitting duties would fall to Gramma and she’d keep a very low profile for the next few weeks.
The mantel clock in the living room struck the half hour, jerking Shelby rudely from her computer screen. Two-thirty. She’d worked through lunch, and now Cassidy and Kenny were due home soon and Gramma wasn’t home yet. A rush of anxiety warmed her blood. Where was she? After dialing Ellen’s cell number, Shelby waited impatiently. No answer. She tried again a few minutes later with the same result. This was not good.
Shelby paced the living room, her gaze darting through the front window to the end of the driveway. Matt would not be happy if she ended up being the babysitter today. With a nervous sigh Shelby stepped out onto the front porch and stood at the edge of the steps. There was nothing she could do but make sure Matt’s kids were safe and sound when he came home. How hard could that be? She really liked his kids. She’d lost her heart to them the moment she’d met them. If it wasn’t for his staunch disapproval of her, she’d be looking forward to spending time with them.
The low rumble of a diesel engine sounded in the distance. Shelby moved down the porch steps to the sidewalk, watching as the big yellow bus stopped and opened its doors. Kenny was off first, his little legs breaking into a run that sent his backpack bobbing up and down. He waved, a huge happy smile on his face as he raced toward her.
“Hi. I beat Cass. She walks too slow.”
Shelby laughed out loud. She was shocked to realize it had been a very long time since she’d known any true joy. The bus pulled away, and Shelby watched as Cassidy waved to someone then started toward her.
“Hi. I’m glad you’re going to watch us.”
The child’s comment sent a rush of warmth through Shelby’s heart. “Me, too. I’m looking forward to spending time with both of you.” It was the truth. Whatever problems Matt had, whatever reservations he held, he’d have to handle on his own. She wasn’t going to close herself off from these adorable children just because he harbored an old grudge.
“Miss Ellen left you some cookies. Are you hungry?” The responses were unanimous. Shelby followed the energetic kids up the steps and into the house. For the next three hours she was going to enjoy herself. Matt Durrant could just deal with it.
* * *
Matt pulled into the driveway, parking his car close to the side door of the house. His tension eased when he saw Ellen’s car parked in its normal spot. He’d managed to get off work early. He hadn’t been comfortable with the kids being around Shelby. He asked around the campus but found no alternative child care. He’d even called the local nanny service, but the cost was ridiculous. Hopefully he’d be able to make different arrangements over the weekend. His kids were still fragile emotionally. He had to make sure they were protected.
A firm tap on Ellen’s front door brought no response. Ellen rarely locked her door, so he tapped again then eased it open. He smiled when he recognized his children’s laughter. “Hello, anybody here? It’s me.”
“Daddy’s home!” Kenny’s shout echoed through the house. Matt stepped into the foyer in time to catch his son as he propelled himself up into his arms. “Hey, sport. Sounds like you’re having a good time.”
Kenny nodded and let go. “We’re looking at pictures of you. Come see.”
“Me?” Matt followed his son into the dining room, trying to find a reason why Ellen would have pictures of him. Cassidy was seated at one end of the table, her chair pulled close to Shelby’s. A board game was laid out on the opposite end. His daughter looked over her shoulder and smiled, sending his heart into meltdown. His little princess had him tightly wrapped around her sweet little finger.
“Hey, Daddy. Come see. We found pictures of you in high school. Look, look.” She motioned him to look over her shoulder. Matt moved forward, noticing for the first time the smile on Shelby’s face. Her brown eyes sparkled, highlighting the gold flecks, and there was a soft rosy glow in her cheeks. She looked contented and happy. Matt stepped to his daughter’s right side, away from Shelby, but the faint flowery scent of her fragrance drifted around him.
“Look, Dad, that’s you.” Cassidy pointed to a picture in a yearbook. He had to smile. Had he ever looked that young? He chuckled softly deep in his throat. “That would be me, all right.”
“You have lots of pictures in here.”
Matt reached out and folded back the cover to check the date. His senior year. “Yeah, I was pretty active that year. How did this turn up at Ellen’s house?” He directed his question to Shelby.
“It’s mine. I bought one every year. I was usually on the staff, so.” She shrugged. “I kept a lot of my things here at Gramma’s. We didn’t have much room in our apartment, and my mom liked to throw things out.”
“So where’s Ellen? I assumed she’d be here.” He felt like a heel when Shelby blanched at his question. But he’d arranged for her grandmother to watch the kids. Not her.
“She’s next door. Mrs. Horvath is under the weather, and she took her a casserole.”
Kenny had climbed back into his chair on the other side of his sister. “Daddy, is Mommy’s picture in the book?”
Matt braced against the pain the simple question stirred up. Would it always be this way? “No, son. Your mom didn’t grow up in Dover.”
“Where did she grow up?”
“In Savannah, Georgia. Remember, we went to the beach there right before she got sick?”
“I remember.” Cassidy’s happy mood had vanished.
Time to get his kids back into their own safe space. “Come on, kids. We’d better go home. You have homework, and we need to start supper.”
“We did our homework first thing.” Cassidy pushed back from the table.
“Dad, can we look at pictures of Mom after supper?”
“Sure, son.” He turned toward the door, aware of Shelby following behind him and also aware that he had to thank her. The kids gathered up their backpacks, then clustered near him at the front door.
“Matt.” He wasn’t in the mood to talk to her, but he couldn’t be rude. She had kept his children safe and entertained. He pulled open the door and gestured his kids to leave. “Y’all go on over to the house. I’ll be along in a minute.” He turned to face Shelby.
“I hope I didn’t cause any trouble with the yearbooks. It never occurred to me that they’d expect to see pictures of their mother.”
“Not your fault. I never know when the questions will come. They catch me off guard all the time.”
“I can’t image how difficult this is for you and the children. She was obviously a wonderful mother.”
“She was.” Sweet recollections drifted through his mind, but this time without the biting sting. “She was funny, always thinking of new ways to entertain them. She knew exactly what to say and do for any situation. Losing her traumatized the kids. Especially Cassidy. I put her in counseling for a while. She was like a lost puppy.”
“Is that why you moved back home, to be around your family?”
Her question made him realize that he’d been spilling his guts to Shelby. Absolutely not what he’d intended. But then, she’d always been easy to talk to. She knew things about him no one else did. But she didn’t need to know about his pain and loss. Not that she’d care. She was only passing through.
He had to remember his primary goal here. Keep his kids from any more heartbreak. “Yes. I felt they needed some stability. Some security. Atlanta was too full of memories. I sold my business and everything else and came home.” He held her gaze, willing her to understand what he was about to say. “My kids have suffered deeply in losing their mother. I want them to be surrounded by people who love them as much as I do. I want them to have people in their lives they can depend on, who won’t walk out when they need them most.” He stopped, realizing he wasn’t talking about his family anymore. He saw Shelby’s brown eyes darken.
“People like me, Matt?”
He set his jaw. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Matt turned to leave. “Tell Ellen thanks. I’m still looking for other babysitting options. I know she misses her volunteer work, and I don’t like imposing on you.”
Shelby crossed her arms over her chest. “Because I’m not dependable?”
No sense playing games. “No. You’re not.”
* * ** * *
The afternoon light streamed through the windowed walls of the sunroom on the back of Gramma’s house, casting a warm glow on the cozy space. Curled up in the old chaise, a magazine in her lap, she reveled in the familiar sense of peace. She glanced around the room at the stacks of magazines and smiled. She’d fallen in love with magazines because of her gramma. She’d hurry over here after school and lose herself in the glossy pages of beautiful rooms, filled with beautiful people doing beautiful things. Life within the pages was always perfect and happy. Magazines allowed her to escape her mother’s bitterness and forget for a while that she didn’t fit in at school.
She could almost relax completely, if it weren’t for Cassidy and Kenny coming over shortly. After a quick hello yesterday, she’d escaped to her room, explaining she had work to do and leaving Gramma to watch over the kids. She’d missed being with them but it allowed her to avoid Matt. She hadn’t come out of her room until she’d seen the three Durrants walking across the drive to their house.
Gramma’s advice had hovered in the back of her mind. It was time to settle the past. All this huffing and puffing was silly. But how did they do that when it was clear that Matt would never forgive her for walking out?
Today, however, she couldn’t use work as an excuse to avoid babysitting. Gramma had called to say she’d been invited to dinner and a movie with friends. She wanted to know if Shelby was okay with keeping the kids. Shelby couldn’t refuse. Her grandmother deserved a night out, but that left her to deal with Matt’s disapproval.
She set her jaw. She was not going to worry herself into knots over this. Matt needed someone responsible to keep the kids; she was his only option. All she could do was be as conscientious as possible, and hopefully in time he’d come to trust her.
Squealing air brakes sounded outside, and she found herself smiling, even as a trickle of nervousness formed. What did she know about taking care of children? She’d certainly never learned anything from her mother. She’d always made motherhood seem like a burden, the worse choice a woman could make. But Matt’s adorable kids were making her take a new look at some of her assumptions.
Shelby met the children halfway down the drive. “Hello there.” Seeing their sweet, happy faces warmed her heart in a way she’d never experienced before. Cassidy fell into step with her as they made their way back toward Gramma’s house. Kenny raced ahead.
“I’m glad it’s Friday. No school for two whole days.”
“Don’t you like school?”
Cassidy nodded. “But I don’t like homework.”
“Join the club. No one does.” Shelby glanced up at Kenny, who stood on his porch, backpack at his feet. “Kenny, come on. Gramma left some brownies today.”
“Can’t we stay at our house today? Please? I want to play with Chester. I don’t want to wait until Dad gets home.”
Cassidy nodded. “Could we? I like being at your house, but I’d really like to go home.”
Shelby couldn’t think of any reason not to, other than she would feel uncomfortable in Matt’s home. But her primary concern was the children. “I suppose. Let me go get the key and a few of my things.”
Standing in Matt’s house a few minutes later, she couldn’t resist the temptation to look around. Unlike her grandmother’s house, which retained all its original details, Matt’s home had been completely remodeled. Walls had been removed, rooms opened up and windows replaced, giving the home an open, spacious feel. Despite the clean lines and modern style, the furniture was practical and functional. Evidence of the children lay scattered around the room—toys on the floor, a stuffed animal on the ottoman. Matt’s work boots stood beside the leather recliner.
She forced herself to ignore her surroundings. Quickly she moved to the kitchen and set her laptop on the table. Cassidy, never far from her side, took the brownies and set them on the island. “Any homework?”
“A little. But I can do it Sunday night.”
Shelby laid an arm across the girl’s shoulders. “Would you like some advice, woman to woman?” Cassidy nodded, a huge smile on her face. “Do you know what the word procrastinate means?”
Cassidy groaned softly. “To put stuff off.”
“Yep. I learned after much painful struggle that the best way to enjoy your time off is by getting the unpleasant things out of the way first. It’s freeing. I think you should try it.”
Cassidy pointed to the treats on the counter.
Shelby shook her head. “Before we have brownies.”
With the young girl up in her room and Kenny safely in the backyard with Chester, Shelby took a moment to check emails on her smart phone. There was no more news about the future of the company. Not surprising. Everything was on hold until the upcoming meeting. It was the not knowing that kept her on edge. The cold hard truth was the chances of her being out of work soon were very good. And she couldn’t get back to New York to look for another job until she had her health back on track.
“I used to live in Atlanta when I was little,” Cassidy stated as they munched on homemade brownies a short while later. Kenny had scooped his up and returned to the yard, mumbling something about finding a lizard on the fence.
Shelby was still picking at her piece, knowing she shouldn’t be eating the chocolate treat but unable to completely resist. “So I heard. Atlanta is a very big city.”
“There’s a lot to do there. Not like here.”
Shelby stifled a grin at the girls assumed air of sophistication. “Don’t you like Dover?”
“It’s okay. I didn’t like it much when I first got here. Boring.” She rolled her eyes. “But I have friends now so it’s not so bad.” Cassidy took another bite of brownie. “What do you do in New York?”
“I edit a magazine. You may know it. Tween Scene.”
Cassidy eyes widened. “Really? That’s the coolest magazine ever.”
“Thank you.” Shelby couldn’t help a swell of pride at the compliment. She’d worked hard to make the magazine a success. It broke her heart to think it might be discontinued under the new management.
“I can’t believe that’s your magazine. Wait until I tell my friends.”
“Well, it’s not mine. I don’t own it. I only work for it, but I’m glad to hear you like Tween Scene so much. What’s your favorite section?”
Cassidy thought a moment. “The one where they show you what to wear and what not to wear. And the makeup one, and the part where you talk about TV stars. Only...I’m not allowed to read it.”
Shelby stopped midbite. “What? But you’re so familiar with it.”
“I know, but Dad says it’s too grown-up for me. He says the articles aren’t good for girls my age.”
Tween Scene precisely targeted Cassidy’s demographic. Did Matt really disapprove or was he steering her away from the publication because she was the editor? Come to think of it, did he even know she was connected to the magazine? Could his comments be solely objective? Doubtful. Tween Scene was perfect. “I’m sorry to hear that. We try very hard to make the magazine appeal to girls your age. If your dad won’t let you read it, how do you know so much about it?”
A guilty smile moved her lips. “I read it at Molly’s.”
“Oh. I see.”
“You won’t tell Dad, will you?”
“No. But do you think you should be disobeying your father?”
Cassidy shook her head. “But it’s such a cool magazine.”
Cool in the young girl’s eyes. Inappropriate in her parent’s. Which one was the truth? As far as Shelby could recall, nothing in Tween Scene should cause concern in parents. Apparently, Matt’s overprotective streak ran to more than just their hearts.
“I wish I was thin and pretty like you,” Cassidy said, her voice soft and wistful. Shelby made a quick survey of the little girl. She wasn’t rail thin, but she wasn’t chubby, either. She was nicely filled out and starting to transform into a young lady. “I think you’re perfect.”
Cassidy smiled. “Thanks, but I want to look like that girl on the cover last time. You know, the one where she was wearing those cool jeans and that striped top with the patches.”
She remembered it well. It had been one of the best covers all year. “That was Yasmine.”
Shelby thought about the child models and celebrities she worked with regularly. They were nothing like Cassidy. Most were mature beyond their years and bone thin. Nearly all the models were older than the preteen image Tween Scene promoted. Something about that bothered her, but she wasn’t sure what.
“I wish I could look like that.” Cassidy sighed wistfully. “She’s so cool.”
Shelby could remember when she felt the same way. She’d look at the girls in the magazines and long for a magic wand that could transform her into a glamorous model.
“I have an idea.” Shelby moved to the table and pulled out her smart phone and opened her laptop.
“What are we going to do?”
“You’ll see.” Shelby winked, opening her camera app. “I have a magic wand.” She motioned Cassidy to stand against the wall. “Okay, now strike a pose.”
Cassidy giggled self-consciously. “I don’t know what to do.”
Shelby began taking pictures. “Pretend you’re a model. Pose like you see the girls on the cover of my magazine.”
A few minutes later, Shelby moved to her laptop and pulled up the images. “Come watch.” Cassidy came to her side. After selecting her editing program, she scrolled through the shots to find the best image to work with. First she added highlights and fullness to Cassidy’s hair. Next she made her eyes larger and deepened the color, adding sparkle for good measure. A click of the mouse slimmed the neck and added hollows to the cheeks. Another whitened the teeth. One more trimmed the body line.
Lastly, she turned her attention to the clothes. She lightened the hue of the jeans and changed the color of the blouse to a jewel tone that better complemented the new deeper shade of her eyes. A few more minor touch-ups, and Shelby leaned back in her chair. “Well, what do you think?”
“Oh wow. I look like a TV star.” She was breathless. “That is so cool.”
Shelby gave the girl a quick hug. “You look exactly like the girls on the covers of my magazine. In fact.” She made a few more clicks and added the magazine banner across the top of the page, making the picture resemble the cover of Tween Scene.
“It’s me, but it’s not me. Oh thank you, thank you,” Cassidy gushed, bouncing up and down. “This is so awesome. Can I have a copy?”
“Sure. I’m not connected to your printer though. I can email it to you so you can print it out. What’s your address?” Shelby typed in the address, attached the file and hit Send. “There you go. Do you know how to print on your computer?”
“We only have Dad’s. He won’t let us have our own. He says we’re too young.”
“I’m sure he’ll print it for you when he gets here.” She glanced at the wall clock. Matt would be home before long. “What are you doing for supper? Should I be putting something in the oven?”
Cassidy shrugged. “I don’t know. Aunt Laura usually made something for us, but she’s not here now.”
Cassidy’s eyes grew wide, and Shelby saw excitement building.
“What?”
“Can I cook supper for Daddy? I could surprise him.”
It was a sweet idea. “Do you know how to cook?”
“A little. I help Aunt Laura sometimes. I know how to make lasagna. My gramma showed me how.”
Shelby was warming to the idea. She used to love to cook, but like many of her favorite pastimes, she’d given it up for lack of time. “I think that’s a great idea. Let’s see if we have everything we need.” Cassidy jumped into the task with gusto, surprising Shelby with how much she knew. Working with the little girl on the dinner and helping her through the process was a surprisingly satisfying experience.
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Lorraine Beatty
Old Love, New NeighborForced to return home after a health scare, Shelby Russell winds up next door to none other than Matt Durrant. Her one-time fiancé and now a widower with two kids, Matt plans to keeps Shelby at arm’s length. Even if she’s the logical choice for a nanny. Even if his kids love her. Even if he's happier than he’s been in years.But Matt was the one left behind when Shelby went to follow her dreams. After losing so much, Matt’s courage is faltering. And when he learns the truth about what Shelby faces now, they’ll both need a heavy dose of courage if they dare hope for a future.
Old Love, New Neighbor
Forced to return home after a health scare, Shelby Russell winds up next door to none other than Matt Durrant. Her onetime fiancé and now a widower with two kids, Matt plans to keep Shelby at arm’s length. Even if she’s the logical choice for a nanny. Even if his kids love her. Even if he’s happier than he’s been in years. But Matt was the one left behind when Shelby went to follow her dreams. After losing so much, Matt knows his courage is faltering. And when he learns the truth about what Shelby faces now, they’ll both need a heavy dose of courage if they dare hope for a future.
Shelby searched for something to say. “Matt, I—”
“You met my kids.” His tone was flat and cool.
Shelby nodded, mentally scurrying to regain her footing at his abrupt change of subject. “They’re adorable. I like their dog, too.” She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of them. “They were very well behaved. You and your wife should be proud. You’ve done a wonderful job with them.”
Matt paled. His eyes turned dark and cold. “My wife died three years ago.”
She gasped. “Oh, Matt. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” He pinned her with a cold blue glare.
“My kids have been through a lot. They’re emotionally vulnerable and they tend to give their hearts too easily. I don’t want those hearts broken by a stranger passing through town.”
Stranger? Was that how he thought of her now? Before she could respond, he turned and walked to the door.
He stopped, looking over his shoulder. “Do we understand each other?”
LORRAINE BEATTY
was born and raised in Columbus, Ohio, but has been blessed to live in Germany, Connecticut and Baton Rouge. She now calls Mississippi home. She and her husband, Joe, have two sons and six grandchildren. Lorraine started writing in junior high and has written for trade books, newspapers and company newsletters. She is a member of RWA and ACFW and is a charter member and past president of Magnolia State Romance Writers. In her spare time she likes to work in her garden, travel and spend time with her family.
Rekindled Romance
Lorraine Beatty
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
A time to tear down and a time to build.
—Ecclesiastes 3:3
To my grandchildren: Cameron, Casie, Chey, Andrew, Anna and Addie.
You are my treasures.
Contents
Chapter One (#u7d9b1605-0484-5c6b-9716-431331f85ac7)
Chapter Two (#u20e0a581-54ec-5989-aaa5-19572de53311)
Chapter Three (#ua27e6aaa-8f7d-5c7e-8ac0-4381224f1468)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Questions for Discussion (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One
Shelby Russell steered her gray Malibu onto Highway 34 past the city limits sign of Dover, Mississippi, bracing herself against a sudden rush of painful memories. Coming home was the last thing she wanted to do. She’d turned her back on the small Southern town fifteen years ago and never looked back. Every goal she’d set for herself had been achieved. She’d risen through the ranks of Harmon Publishing to become senior editor of Tween Scene magazine, the top-selling publication for preteen girls in the country. It was a high-energy, high-stress job, and she loved every minute of it. But it was also the reason she was coming home.
Shelby eased the car to a halt behind a short line of cars waiting for a train to pass; the blinking red warning lights at the crossing were an unwelcome reminder of why she was back in Dover. A heart attack. She’d laughed in the doctor’s face when he’d delivered his diagnosis. Heart attacks were for old people. She was only thirty-four. True, she’d had only a very mild one, but the tests didn’t lie, and if she didn’t eliminate the stress and change her lifestyle, she wouldn’t be around to continue her exciting career. She’d already lost two grandfathers and an aunt to heart disease. She couldn’t ignore her medical history.
The crossing gate lifted, and Shelby eased forward with the traffic. So here she was, coming home to stay with her grandmother, her life in chaos, her future in doubt. She was thankful that she had someone here who still cared about her, someone she could turn to when the world didn’t make sense anymore. And right now, nothing did.
Her gaze surveyed the changes in the once-familiar surroundings as she followed the two-lane road toward town. The fields and piney woods surrounding the small town had been replaced with new shopping centers and an industrial park. A sprawling attendance center filled what once had been cotton fields. Courtesy of the new auto plant no doubt. Gramma had told her the plant, situated between the towns of Dover and Sawyers Bend, had brought about huge changes to both the once-dying towns.
As the highway gave way to downtown, the changes became more evident. The majestic courthouse still dominated the center of the town, but the surrounding trees were bigger and the elegant wrought-iron fence was a crisp shiny black. The historic gazebo, Dover’s iconic symbol, still stood proudly in one corner of the grounds, like a Victorian jewel in the late-afternoon sunshine. The four streets flanking the square, lined with 19th-century brick buildings, all sported freshly painted facades in a variety of colors. Many storefronts had bright awnings providing shade; others had flower-draped balconies. The entire area looked like a watercolor painting of the quintessential small Southern town. The Dover she remembered looked nothing like this.
Shelby pulled to a stop at the red light, willing herself not to look at the store on the corner, but the temptation was too great. Her gaze traveled to Durrant’s Hardware. The real reason she’d stayed away so long. Matt Durrant was here. Her heart pounded. Was Matt in the store right now? Had he taken over the family business? Probably. It was the reason she’d left. They had wanted different things out of life. Incompatible things.
The light changed and she focused on the road ahead, trying to push all thoughts of Matt to the back of her mind. She failed. Did he ever think about her? Was he as handsome now as he’d been then? Had he married?
Gritting her teeth, Shelby forced all thoughts of Matt and the past aside and focused on making the turns that would take her to Willow Street. She pulled into Gramma’s driveway and stopped, taking a moment to appreciate the two-story redbrick house. Nestled on a tree-lined street on the south edge of town, the foursquare-style home was a mirror image of the house next door. Their expansive lots butted up against the woodlands. Both homes had been built by Gramma’s great-great-grandfather and his brother, who helped found the railroad town, then known as Junction City. Her heart warmed as she gazed upon the stately dwelling. The large front porch, the potted chrysanthemums and the massive live oak tree in the yard all welcomed her home.
Home.
Memories of feeling safe, loved and happy flowed through her even as tears burned behind her eyes. She’d left here so full of dreams, determined to conquer the world, but she was returning with her life in turmoil. Mentally she kicked herself for holding a pity party. She might be down, but she wasn’t out. She would beat this. She would not let this health issue ruin her future. It was merely a matter of blocking out the fear and taking control of her life. She’d learn to relax. She’d learn to de-stress. She’d learn to be peaceful if it was the last thing she ever did.
Shelby let off the brake, guiding the car to the left of the Y-shaped driveway between the twin houses, and parked beneath the shade of a giant live oak. Her cramped muscles protested angrily as she unfolded herself from the vehicle, and a wave of exhaustion and defeat settled upon her shoulders. The long drive from New York to central Mississippi had been intended to give her time to relax and slow down. Instead, it had allowed too much time for regret and introspection. Neither of which eased her stress.
Gramma Bower burst through the front door and met her as Shelby topped the porch steps. Shelby’s mood brightened at the sight of her grandmother’s sweet face.
“Oh, my precious baby girl. I didn’t think you’d ever get here.”
Shelby went willingly into the warm, familiar hug, clinging to the woman who had been her refuge throughout her childhood. The loving embrace siphoned off much of her fatigue and eased her fears. Coming home to Gramma had been the right thing to do. She stepped back, taking a quick inventory. Gramma’s hair was grayer, and there were more lines in her dear face. A few more pounds hugged the sturdy frame since she’d last seen her, but Gramma was still the same woman who had always loved her unconditionally.
“Child, let me look at you.” She frowned. “You look tired.”
Leave it to Gramma to get right to the heart of a matter. “I am. It was a long trip.”
“Well, I know you said you needed to rest, but I had no idea. You’re pale as a ghost.” Gramma shook her head. “Come on inside. I have sugar cookies for you.”
The moment Shelby stepped inside the old house, her senses exploded with memories. She inhaled the familiar aroma of furniture polish, potpourri and fresh sugar cookies. The wood floors creaked a welcome beneath her feet as her fingers gently touched the worn spot on the newel post.
Her gaze quickly traveled around the rooms. Nothing had changed. The furnishings were still in the same place, as if time had stood still. Shelby soaked in the comfort of the old surroundings. Her own life might be in turmoil, but Gramma’s house would always be her safe haven. “It’s good to be home, Gramma. I’ve missed this place.”
“Well, it’s right where it’s always been.”
A lump of shame rose in her throat. “I know.” Since leaving town, Shelby had stayed in touch with her grandmother and made the obligatory Christmas visits to her mother and stepfather’s home in Pensacola, but she had staunchly avoided a visit to Dover. She couldn’t risk running into Matt.
As they walked through the hallway, past the gallery of family photos, Shelby saw the picture of her aunt Teresa on the wall, and her conscience stung. She’d missed her aunt’s funeral, her mother’s only sister and a woman only ten years older than herself. Tween Scene magazine had been putting together their double Christmas issue at the time and that had seemed more important. Now Shelby winced at her callousness. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it back for Aunt Teresa’s funeral.” Shelby followed her grandmother into the kitchen.
“I understood, baby. Really I did.” Gramma smiled, handing her a plate of still-warm sugar cookies.
Shelby briefly thought about the dietary rules the doctor had laid out. Her mouth watered at the savory aroma, banishing her guilt. There was no need to start that healthy lifestyle right now. Tomorrow was soon enough. Sinking her teeth into one warm and sweet cookie transported her back in time. She was ten. Her father had deserted her and her mother. Shelby had run to Gramma’s, scared, confused and in tears. Ellen had baked a batch of cookies and they’d talked and watched movies well into the night.
Gramma pointed at the plate and raised her eyebrows. “Eat up. Those might be the last ones you get for a while.”
Shelby stopped midbite. “Why?”
“I work part-time at the church during the week, and I volunteer at the hospital whenever I’m needed. Besides—” Gramma planted her hands on her ample hips “—you’re not supposed to be eating all that sugar.”
Shelby pursed her lips. “I don’t think a few cookies will do any harm.”
Ellen frowned. “I see you haven’t lost your habit of avoiding the unpleasant. Is this how you rose to the top of your field? By avoiding things?”
“No, of course not.”
“You are following the doctors’ instructions, aren’t you? You’re watching what you eat and exercising, taking your medications?”
Shelby reached for another cookie. The sample medications the doctor had given her had nearly run out, and the prescriptions were still in her purse. Filling them would make this whole thing too real. Too final. “I’m going to.”
“Going to? When?” Gramma huffed out a puff of irritation. “Shelby Kay, you’ve got to take your heart disease seriously. This isn’t something you can avoid. Baby. I’ve already lost a husband and a daughter. I don’t want to lose you, too.”
The pleading in her grandmother’s voice punctured her defenses and exposed the gnawing fear in her spirit. Tears welled up in her eyes and clogged her throat. She was a lost and confused child again whose world was crashing in around her. Gramma’s love was the only thing that had saved her. And God’s grace.
She pressed her fingers to her lips as the fear took hold. “Gramma, I’m scared. How could I have had a heart attack and not even know it? I thought it was indigestion.”
Gramma came to her side and pulled her shoulders. “Oh, my baby girl. I know. I’m sure the doctor explained to you that the symptoms are very different in women. But you can get through this if you’ll just rely on the Lord.”
Shelby shook her head. “It’s not only my health, Gramma. The company I work for, Harmon Publishing, was bought by a competitor. I might not even have a job to go back to. The new management assured us everything would continue as before, but it’s only a matter of time before the pink slips are handed out.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, but it’s only a job, after all.” Gramma squeezed her shoulders again. “It’ll all work itself out.”
Shelby pulled away, wiping her face with her palms and shaking her head. “It’s more than a job. This magazine is my life.”
Gramma scowled. “Nonsense.”
“My career is who I am.” Shelby stood and paced a few steps. “This is what I’ve worked for my whole life, and now I could lose everything.” Shelby buried her head in her hands. Gramma came quickly to her side, patting her back.
“You don’t know that. You’re facing a lot of obstacles right now, but you have your brains and your experience. You can always find a job. This might be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Shelby gritted her teeth against the idea. “How could losing my career be a good thing?” Her grandmother stiffened, and Shelby realized how belligerent and disrespectful she’d sounded. “I’m sorry, Gramma. But I don’t want to lose my job. It’s important to me.”
“Better your job than your life.” Gramma stared down at her. “Seems to me, you’ve forgotten who to turn to when you’re lost.”
Shelby sank back down onto the wooden chair and tried to swallow her irritation. She wasn’t surprised by her Gramma’s comments. Her grandfather had been a minister. “Church talk” had been commonplace here. There had been a time when she had embraced her faith, depended upon it, but after she’d left Dover she’d drifted away. She’d channeled all her energy into school and then her career. Along the way she’d lost her connection to her faith.
Gramma patted her hand and slid the cookie plate toward her. “Enjoy your cookies. Today is your homecoming celebration. Tomorrow we’ll face the changes you have to make.”
Shelby nodded, feeling the fear and anger ease a bit. She had resisted coming back to Dover, but now she knew it had been the right decision. A few days here under Gramma’s loving care would ease anyone’s stress. A new hope blossomed in her heart. She had six weeks in which to accomplish her goals. First, get a handle on her health. Second, avoid Matt Durrant at all costs. That shouldn’t be too difficult. She’d have no reason to go to his hardware store, and he lived on the opposite side of town. And maybe, if she could relax quickly enough, she could cut her leave in half and get back to work sooner, and that would decrease her odds of running into Matt.
Matthias Durrant. The only man she’d ever loved. They’d promised to love each other forever, to be together always, but it hadn’t worked out that way. Matt had changed the plan, and she’d been terrified of losing her dream.
She’d never regretted her decision. So why did she find herself wondering what her life would have been like if she’d stayed here with him? Followed his dream instead of her own? There was no point in thinking about it. The door to the past was closed forever and couldn’t be reopened.
* * *
Matt Durrant rested his wrists on the steering wheel of the old battered van, smiling as his passenger opened the door and got out. “Thanks for your help today, Carl.”
The man nodded and raised a hand. “My pleasure. That roof should have been repaired months ago. We need more volunteers.”
“Amen to that.”
“Thanks for dropping me off at the house.” Carl smiled. “It saved Nancy a trip to pick me up.”
“No problem.” Matt watched as his friend walked up the drive toward his house. The front door opened and his wife, Nancy, walked out to meet him, wrapping him in that special kind of hug only a wife could give. Matt looked away, ignoring the sudden ache in the center of his chest, and put the car in gear.
But the image replayed in his mind as he drove the Handy Works van toward his home on the opposite side of town. He’d once had that kind of love. Until three years ago, when cancer had taken his Katie away. He called up a memory, looking for the comfort that normally soothed his wounded soul, but it didn’t come. Instead he found a gray void.
For the first time he longed for a real moment, not a vision of what had been. His memories had sustained him, kept him afloat, but lately it had been harder and harder to find solace in the past. Seeing Carl and Nancy just now had cracked the protective wall around his heart, exposing his vulnerability. Loneliness.
He’d been lonely every second since Katie had died, but this was different. This was more like a yearning, a hunger for something more. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly. His heart would always be missing the piece that Katie had filled. That first year he’d struggled to manage his grief against that of his children, trying to find a balance between keeping Katie’s memory alive and not being crushed under the memory of her illness and death. The decision to leave Atlanta and move home to Dover had been another upheaval in their lives that couldn’t be avoided. The pressures of his job had stolen precious time from his children. And they were his primary concern now.
Katie had begged him to not stop living after she was gone. She’d wanted him to find love and happiness again, but the thought had been abhorrent to him. He had no desire to risk his heart or his children’s on that kind of loss again. None of them could survive it a second time. It’s why he’d made the decision to come home. He wanted to raise his children near their grandparents, in a town where family values were still cherished.
Matt turned the corner onto Willow Street. Envy. That’s what had stirred up those old emotions. He was envious of Carl and Nancy’s normal life. But he knew he had so much to be thankful for. Two amazing kids, a family that loved and supported him, a job that allowed him to be home a good bit—the van hit a pothole and every bolt rattled and shook. He smiled. And a ministry that helped the community and allowed him to help others. Handy Works had been his sister’s brainchild. A mobile neighborhood help program, manned by volunteers who would donate their time and talents to making repairs and cleanup for those in need. He and his friend Carl Young had taken advantage of a rare afternoon free from teaching classes at Wells Community College to devote time to repairing the roof of an elderly man who lived at the edge of town.
Inhaling a deep breath, he reminded himself of his abundant blessings. Too many to count. This sudden feeling of loneliness would pass. Katie was the only woman he’d ever loved. No. There had been one other woman. A long time ago. But she’d abandoned him.
Matt flipped the blinker to turn into his driveway. Funny. Katie abandoned him through death; the other woman had abandoned him by choice. Maybe he was destined to be alone. Losing Katie had shredded his soul. He would never, ever love again. The risk was too great.
* * *
Shelby felt like a new person. Almost. Gramma had settled her into her old room on the east side of the house. The wide bay window faced the twin house next door but also afforded a view of the woods out back. This room hadn’t changed either. The same white curtains graced the window; the lavender bedspread was more faded but still thick and soft. And at the edge of the window sat her favorite chair, the green-and-white shell back with a tufted ottoman to prop your feet on. For the first time in years, Shelby knew a sense of belonging.
But it was temporary. Only until she could get back on her feet physically. She tried not to think about what effect heart disease might have on her future job search. Would anyone hire her with a preexisting condition? Removing her laptop from its case, she scooped up her smart phone from the nightstand and headed downstairs. She’d worry about that later.
Gramma was looking through cabinets when Shelby stepped into the kitchen. She turned and frowned at the devices in Shelby’s hands. “What are you going to do with those?”
“I have a few loose ends to tie up at work. I’m still employed for the moment, and the magazine has to go on. Medical leave or not.” Truth was, there was little she could do. Everything was on hold, but it helped to keep busy. It made her feel like she was doing something.
Ellen planted her fists on her hips and pursed her lips. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, and if you have any sense at all, you’ll follow orders. You’ll unplug yourself from those things and you’ll rest, eat right and get some exercise.”
She acknowledged the necessity of following the doctor’s advice, but Tween Scene was her baby, and she’d spent every ounce of her time and energy over the years making it successful. To suddenly turn her back and walk away when its future was in doubt seemed irresponsible. Besides, what was she supposed to do with her time? Sit in the rocker and crochet?
“I’m not good at being idle, Gramma.”
“Resting and taking care of yourself is not being idle.”
“You know what I mean.” Shelby placed her computer on the kitchen table. “I need to be busy. You know how Mom felt about being unproductive. If she had any idea how much time I spent looking at your magazines when I was here, she’d have never let me come back.”
“Your mother wanted you to have an education and be able to take care of yourself.”
“And I can, but now everyone’s telling me to stop and stand still.”
Gramma exhaled a sympathetic sigh. “I understand. But this is a new chapter in your life, and you’ll have to find something different to fill your time. Something quieter, slower paced.”
The thought made Shelby’s skin crawl. She didn’t like being inactive. She like planning and deadlines. “I’m not sure I can do that.”
“You don’t really have a choice.” Gramma patted her shoulder. “I’m sorry to go off and leave you on your first day home, but I’m filling in at the hospital this afternoon for a friend. There’s chicken salad in the fridge in case you get hungry. It’s made with all low-fat, healthy ingredients. I’ll be home in a couple of hours if you want to eat together. In the meantime, relax.”
An hour later Shelby tossed her cell phone onto the dining room table and buried her head in her hands. It looked like the other shoe was about to drop at Harmon Publishing. Her boss had called to tell her a meeting had been scheduled for all upper management regarding the sale, but no other information had been given.
The ever-present knot of anxiety in her stomach grew. What would she do if she lost her job? How would she survive? Her mind churned with a frightening list of possible disasters. Her heart rate quickened, and a steady pressure began to build in her chest. She closed her eyes against a wave of fear. Was she having another heart attack or an anxiety attack? The doctor said the symptoms were similar. She’d been oblivious to her first episode, so how did she know if this was serious or not?
“Please, Lord, don’t let this be another one.” She’d experienced these symptoms before—the light-headedness, then a clammy sensation and a strange sense of foreboding. Her first thought had been a brain tumor. When the symptoms persisted, she’d gone to the clinic, but they’d sent her home with instructions to cut back on caffeine and sugar.
A second episode sent her to the hospital, where extensive tests had been run. That’s when Dr. Morgan had delivered his diagnosis and his ultimatum. Time off or face the consequences. She couldn’t afford to ignore this any longer. Not when death was the option.
Inhaling a slow, deep breath, she breathed a sigh of relief when her pulse slowed to normal once again and the tension eased. Frustration and anger quickly took its place, driving her outside onto the wooden porch swing. Her favorite refuge. The gentle back-and-forth movement settled her thoughts. It wasn’t fair. All she’d ever wanted was to work for a magazine. Her whole life since high school had been geared toward her career. She’d studied hard and sacrificed much to achieve her goal. Now it was all being taken away. Why was God doing this to her? Was this her punishment for ignoring Him all this time?
Tears stung the backs of her eyes. She squeezed them shut, unwilling to give in. She never cried. But since her diagnosis she’d started bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It was infuriating.
“Chester!”
She looked up at the shout to see a small, scruffy gray dog dart up the steps of the porch and stop at her feet. The little dog growled and barked, inching forward then back as he defended his territory.
Shelby chuckled softly. “Oh, hush. I’m not going to hurt you.” Slowly she opened her hand, palm up, and inched it toward the dog. “See, it’s okay.”
The dog stopped growling and studied her. He retreated, then cocked his head and slowly moved forward. “There. Nothing to be upset about.” The dog’s tail began to wag furiously and he licked her hand. “Good doggie.” She stroked his small head. It was soft and warm.
“Chester! You’d better get yourself back over here before you get in trouble.”
Shelby looked up as a young girl came toward the house from the driveway. She appeared to be about eleven years old.
“Chester!” She hurried up the steps, placing her hands on her waist when she saw the dog. “You are in big trouble, mister.” She glanced at Shelby. “I’m sorry he barked at you, ma’am.”
“That’s okay. I think we worked it out. He’s a good watchdog. He knew I was a stranger so he was probably trying to protect you.”
The girl shrugged. “I guess.” She studied Shelby intently for a long moment. “Does Mrs. Bower know you’re here?”
Shelby smiled. “Yes. I’m going to be staying here for a while. I’m her granddaughter.”
The girl frowned. “I don’t remember you.”
“I’ve been away a long time. I live in New York City.” Shelby swallowed the regret that had been nagging at her since coming home. “My name is Shelby. And I take it this is Chester?”
“Yeah,” she groaned in disgust and frowned. “I didn’t name him. My brother did. My name is Cassidy.”
Shelby couldn’t help but smile at her grown-up indignation. “Nice to meet you, Cassidy.” Footsteps sounded on the steps, and a little boy joined them. He was out of breath.
“Aw, Chester you are in tra-bull. You can’t come over here.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “This is my little brother, Kenny. He’s six.”
Kenny stared at her.
“I’m Shelby. I’m staying here with my grandmother, Mrs. Bower.”
“Oh.” He smiled, displaying two deep dimples at the sides of his mouth. “She makes us sugar cookies.”
“I know. She made them for me when I was little. In fact, she made some for me today. Would you like one?”
Cassidy took hold of Chester’s collar. “Thanks, but we can’t take food from strangers.”
Shelby was momentarily taken aback. Then common sense kicked in and she smiled at the children. “That’s a good rule. You’re right. Maybe after we get to know each other, we can share some cookies.”
Cassidy smiled. Her thickly lashed, dark blue eyes triggered something familiar in the back of Shelby’s mind, but she couldn’t place it.
“We have to take Chester home now.” Cassidy tugged the dog toward the steps. “Our aunt will be wondering where we are.”
“Okay. Nice to have met you. You and Chester are welcome here any time.”
“Thanks. I’ll tell my dad.” Cassidy waved goodbye.
Shelby stood and walked to the edge of the porch, watching the children tugging the little dog back home. She’d wondered who lived next door in the duplicate house. Gramma had told her Mrs. Marshall had passed away several years ago and the house had changed hands a couple of times. Obviously a family lived there now.
As the children neared the porch of their home, an old battered van pulled into the driveway. The sign painted on the side read “Handy Works.” Decals of various tools decorated the side panels, proclaiming some sort of handyman business.
Shelby watched as the children hurried toward the van. The door opened, and a man emerged. Tall and well-built with dark brown hair, the deep blue knit shirt he wore emphasized strong, broad shoulders and muscular arms. Faded, well-worn jeans hugged his long legs like an old friend. Dusty, work-scuffed Western boots completed the masculine picture.
He turned, arms open as the children ran to him. He lifted them off the ground in a tight hug, swinging them back and forth playfully. Shelby smiled. Not only was the man ridiculously attractive, he obviously adored his children. A lethal combination. Cassidy and Kenny began chatting away. She could hear their little voices across the wide, shared driveway. Kenny suddenly pointed toward her, and she smiled, raising her hand. The father turned and faced her. Her heart froze. Blood drained from her face.
No. It couldn’t be. Please, Lord, don’t do this to me. The man staring back at her was the last man on earth she wanted to see. Cassidy and Kenny’s father was Matthias Durrant, the fiancé she’d jilted for her career fifteen years ago.
Chapter Two
Matt Durrant turned his back and followed his children into the house, his jaw clenched, his gut in knots.
Shelby was back.
He never expected to see her in Dover again. Ever. She’d made her opinion of small-town life abundantly clear the day she gave back his ring. “I don’t want a small-town man with small-town dreams.”
Shelby Russell had broken his heart and abandoned him when he’d needed her most. He’d counted on her love and support to sustain him through a difficult time in his life. But instead she’d cut and run, giving back his ring, accusing him of breaking his promise. But what about her promise to him? Her own future had been more important than their future together. He’d finally come to terms with her rejection, though he’d never understood her sudden change of heart. Never understood how she could claim to love him one minute and walk away the next. It was only several years later, when he’d met Katie, that he’d been able to put Shelby’s rejection behind him and move forward.
So why, after all this time, did his heart still sting from Shelby’s rejection? And why had that brief glimpse of her hit him like a lightning bolt, filling his mind with things he thought he’d forgotten? He remembered her brown eyes had small specks of gold in them. He remembered the silken feel of her long brown hair, now worn shoulder-length and soft around her face. He remembered the impish, self-conscious smile that would make his heart skip a beat.
The girlish figure he remembered had given way to soft, womanly curves. Maturity looked good on her. He hated himself for noticing. He hated more that she could still cause a reaction in him after all this time. After what she’d done.
“Daddy, she was really nice.” Cassidy’s blue eyes were bright with excitement. “And she’s from New York.”
Matt frowned. He’d been bombarded with his children’s disjointed conversation from the moment he’d climbed from the van. Something about a lady and cookies. When he glanced over at the house it had all become clear. He rubbed his forehead in irritation. “How did you meet her?”
“I told you,” Cassidy explained, her tone tinged with irritation. “When Chester ran over to her house. She was sitting on the swing, and Chester was barking. I guess he thought she was a stranger so he was trying to warn us. Only she wasn’t a stranger. She’s Miss Ellen’s granddaughter and then—”
Matt placed a hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “Okay. I get the picture.”
Cassidy smiled. “She’s nice.”
Matt set his jaw. That’s not how he’d describe Shelby Russell. Self-centered. Insensitive. Career-driven, yes. But nice?
“She was going to give us sugar cookies, but Cassidy said no ’cause she was a stranger,” Kenny complained.
“Who’s a stranger?”
Matt glanced over at his younger sister, Laura Durrant, who had come to stand at the boy’s side. She’d been watching the children after school each day. He had a full schedule of classes this semester, which meant he wouldn’t get home until supper time. But she’d informed him two days ago that he’d have to find someone else. “That was the right thing to do, son.”
Kenny’s shoulders slacked. “Yes, sir, but Mrs. Bower made them. You always let us have her cookies. How come we couldn’t have any this time?”
“Because you didn’t know Shelby, that’s why.” Matt struggled to maintain his patience.
Laura frowned. “Shelby Russell?”
Matt jammed his hands into his pockets. “She’s back. She’s staying with Ellen Bower.”
“Oh. I’ll bet Miss Ellen is excited. Shelby hasn’t been home since you two broke up, has she?”
“I wouldn’t know.” He could see his little sister’s mind digesting the news.
“Hmm. Wonder what brought her back to Dover after all this time?” She glanced at him sideways, an ornery smirk on her face. “Maybe she came to look up old friends and acquaintances.”
Matt forced a smile over clenched teeth. “Why don’t you ask her?”
Laura raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. “I think I might. You know, I heard she’s an editor at some big magazine in New York. Mom ran across her name in an article someplace. Looks like our Shelby has reached the top of the career ladder. Good for her. It’s what she always wanted.”
“It’s all she ever wanted,” Matt muttered softly.
Laura winced. “Is that the sound of sour grapes being trampled? You know—” she pointed a finger at her brother “—they say you never forget your first love. Well, kids, I’m out of here.” She gave Cassidy a hug and Kenny a fist bump.
“You want to stay and eat?” Matt offered the invite as she moved to the door.
She winked. “Not this time. I’m booked for the evening. Oh.” Laura turned back to her brother. “Have you found someone to watch the kids yet? I hate that I had to bail on you so suddenly, but I couldn’t turn down the restoration job in Mobile. It’ll be a huge boost to my company.”
“Don’t worry about it. But to answer your question, no, I haven’t found anyone yet.” Matt ran a hand down the back of his neck. “Normally, I’d ask Mom, but since she’s running for city council, she doesn’t have the time.”
“What about Ellen Bower? Doesn’t she watch them for you sometimes?”
“Yes, but she’s so busy with her volunteer work I rarely see her. Besides, watching the kids for a short time now and again is different from watching them every day. It might be too much for her.”
Laura picked up her backpack, fishing out her truck keys. “Well, you could always ask Shelby. She’s right next door.”
Matt gritted his teeth and followed his sister to the door. “Yeah, but for how long? She’ll probably be gone before you can blink.”
Laura turned to face him. “What’s bothering you, big brother?”
“Nothing. Forget it.” Matt smiled at his baby sister. Looking at her, no one would ever guess the slim, petite woman was a skilled and licensed carpenter and builder. Her company specialized in restoring old homes and buildings. Laura couldn’t stand to see anything neglected and ignored.
Outside on the front porch, they both looked over at Ellen Bower’s house.
Laura, glanced sideways at her brother. “So. Are you going to go say hello?”
“Why?”
Laura shrugged. “She’s right next door. Aren’t you the least bit curious why she came back after all this time?”
“No.”
“You’re going to act like she isn’t there?”
He glared in response. It sounded like a good idea to him.
Laura hoisted her backpack onto her shoulder. “You’re being childish.” She turned and started down the front steps to her truck.
Matt stood on the porch after Laura drove off, staring at the Bower house. Why was Shelby back, and how long was she staying? She’d made it clear long ago that she had no interest in small-town dreams. He’d known Ellen was Shelby’s grandmother, but the subject of Shelby had never come up. Besides, the likelihood of her showing up in Dover was not great—or so he’d believed.
“Daddy, can we have mac and cheese for supper?”
Matt glanced down at his son’s face, and the eager smile chased away his concerns. “I think your aunt Laura left us some chicken and noodles. How does that sound?”
“With biscuits? Yum.” Kenny turned and raced back into the house, shouting the news to his sister. Matt took one last glance at the house next door and followed his son inside. He had more important things to worry about than Shelby Russell’s presence in Dover. Like who was he going to get to watch his kids for the next several weeks?
Matt barely heard what his children said as he prepared the evening meal. He was too distracted by the search for a babysitter to pay much attention. He’d made a few calls to women he knew at church and the mothers of a couple of Cassidy’s friends, but no one was available long-term. By the time he sat down at the table he was nearing desperation. He glanced down at his empty plate. He had no idea if the meal had been good or not.
“Can Chester sleep with me tonight?”
“No, Kenny, he can’t. You know the rules.” Matt rose from the table and carried his plate to the sink. He had only one option. Ellen Bower. If she turned him down, he’d be forced to look into a professional child-care service. Not something he felt comfortable doing.
“Okay, you two. Time to clean up the kitchen.”
“Daddy, now that we know that lady, can I have cookies if she asks?”
Matt gritted his teeth. He didn’t want his kids getting too chummy with Shelby. But then, he probably didn’t need to worry. Whatever her reason for coming home, Dover couldn’t hold her attention for long. She’d run back to her all-important career after a few days.
“I guess that would be all right. But I’m sure Miss Russell will be very busy. You probably won’t see her much.”
Kenny frowned. “But I like her. She likes Chester.” He bent down and hugged the dog’s neck.
Matt exhaled a huff of irritation. His son liked Shelby. It must be some sort of weird gene in the Durrant family that drew them to her. His father and brother had liked her, too. Fifteen years ago, Matt had been engaged to her. For twenty-four hours.
“Okay, kids, finish up your chores and then you can watch television while I run next door for a few minutes.”
“Are you going to say hello to Miss Shelby?” Cassidy’s smile reflected her delight.
“No. I have to see if Miss Ellen can watch you after school from now on.”
Cassidy emptied her glass into the sink. “Why can’t Aunt Laura stay with us?”
“She’s going to be working out of town.” Matt pointed at Kenny. “You make sure you feed Chester and give him fresh water.”
Matt made his way to the front door, mentally battling with his emotions. It would be easy to pick up the phone, call Ellen and avoid seeing Shelby. But his little sister was right about one thing. Trying to ignore Shelby, act like she wasn’t right next door, was childish.
A small voice inside warned him about being near Shelby. She’d always had a powerful effect on him. She’d made him feel strong and protective. He shoved the thought aside. He was a grown man. Not a lovesick college kid.
He’d speak to Ellen, acknowledge Shelby’s presence then come home. Besides, this wasn’t about him. He had to protect his kids. His children had spent only a few minutes with her and she’d already cast her spell over them. With Shelby right next door, his kids would likely grow deeply attached, and then what would happen when she skipped town without warning? Broken hearts, that’s what. He couldn’t let that happen. She needed to understand how emotionally vulnerable Kenny and Cassidy were since their mother’s death. All he was asking was that she keep her distance for the few days she was here. It wasn’t an unreasonable request. Merely a “good fences make good neighbors” conversation. Setting some boundaries. That’s all.
Cassidy stuck her head out the front door. “Will you tell Miss Shelby I said hi?”
Matt nodded and set his jaw. Okay, maybe a wall instead of a fence. “Will do.”
* * *
Shelby closed her laptop with a firm snap and shoved away from the dining room table. Trying to work was useless. She couldn’t get Matt’s image out of her mind. She’d stood on the porch earlier immobilized, watching as Matt turned his back and walked away. His message loud and clear. They had nothing to say to one another.
Her insides burned with the rejection. What had she expected? That he’d be glad to see her? She’d run out on him. Told him he wasn’t good enough. Her conscience stung when she remembered her cruel words to him that night. She had been so arrogant, so disdainful of what she perceived as his lack of ambition. How could she make him understand that breaking their engagement was the hardest thing she’d ever done? But he was the one who had reneged on all their dreams. She’d had no choice.
She stood and went to the kitchen and searched for something to munch. A bowl of apples sat on the counter. Common sense told her to eat one. A healthy choice. What she wanted was chocolate.
Closing her eyes, she fought the urge to look out the window at Matt’s house, hungry for another glimpse of him. He was even more handsome than she’d remembered. Age had broadened his shoulders, deepened his chest and chiseled the planes of his face. There was a masculine confidence in his bearing that couldn’t be ignored. And the gentle, tender heart she’d fallen in love with was displayed in the unabashed love of his children.
Matt had been everything she’d ever wanted in a man.
She opened her eyes, staring across the drive. Part of her longed to see him coming toward the house to—what? Say all was forgiven? Let’s start over? But another part of her hoped he would stay on his side of the driveway and ignore her for the remainder of her stay. Confronting him would be too painful, no matter the outcome.
Her conscience stung again. Gramma was right. Avoiding conflict was one of her biggest faults. She was avoiding her illness, avoiding making the changes she needed. And now, hoping to avoid Matt.
Forcing herself to move, Shelby picked up an apple and took a bite, her mind bursting with questions. How had he come to live next door, and what had he been doing all these years? Obviously he’d married and had children. What was his wife like? Was it someone she knew from school? What about the Handy Works van? Was that what he did for a living? It would make sense. His father owned the hardware store where they’d met. She had noticed a large pickup in the drive as well, but it was gone now. Apparently he’d followed in his father’s footsteps.
Movement outside the window caught her attention. She froze. Matt. He was coming over. “No. Not now. I’m not ready. I can’t deal with this right now.” She held her breath, watching him come across the drive. She could still see the young man she remembered in his slow, easy gait. The male grace he’d displayed as a young man was still evident. The years had done little to diminish his attractiveness. She turned away, her stomach in knots, flinching when the knock on the door echoed through the house. He was coming to demand an answer for her breaking their engagement. What would she say? I ran because I was afraid I’d never get out of this place if I didn’t?
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and lost her breath. He didn’t look like the father of two. With his square-jawed good looks and athletic physique, he could have graced the cover of any magazine. His dark brown hair still lay in waves across his head. The cobalt-blue eyes with their thick lashes were still compelling and magnetic. The only thing missing was his smile. She doubted if she’d ever see that again. She cleared her throat, searching desperately for her voice.
“Hello, Shelby.”
“Hey.” It was all she could squeak out past the lump in her throat.
Shelby motioned him inside. He nodded and stepped over the threshold. She closed the door behind him, struggling to maintain a casual attitude while ignoring the tantalizing smell of his aftershave.
“I had no idea you lived next door.” She forced a smile. “It was a surprise seeing you drive up today.”
Matt frowned. “Ellen didn’t tell you?”
“No, but then she never knew we...” She faltered. “Gramma and Grandpa were on a mission trip the summer we dated.”
He nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Her heart pounded so fiercely she wondered if he could hear it. Now that he was here, all she wanted was to get it over with. “Would you like to sit down?”
“No. I need to talk to Ellen. Is she here?”
Shelby’s tension deflated like a punctured balloon. Matt wasn’t here to see her at all. She should have been relieved, but instead she swallowed a large gulp of disappointment. “She’s not here at the moment, but I expect her home anytime. You’re welcome to wait.”
Matt’s jaw worked side to side a moment, as if gauging his next words.
“How long are you staying?”
She blinked. That wasn’t the question she’d anticipated. Apparently he was going to get right to the point. Fine. She could take it. Raising her chin, she crossed her arms over her chest and faced him. Matt’s blue gaze pierced through her. Blue eyes exactly like Cassidy’s. Now she knew why they’d seemed so familiar. “Six weeks or so. My schedule is flexible.”
Matt planted his hands on his hips. A smirk curved one corner of his mouth upward. “Six whole weeks. You sure you won’t get bored so far from the big city? We pull in the sidewalk around seven, remember?”
“Yes. I remember.” Her heart burned. He was throwing her words from long ago back in her face.
“I’m sure you do. So, what brings you back to the small-town life?”
She ignored the flash of pain his sarcasm inflicted. “I had time accrued that I needed to use, and I wanted to spend time with Gramma.”
“Can the corporate world survive without you?”
She lifted her chin. He was really getting under her skin with his sour attitude. “It’s the wireless age, Matt. I can do my work from anywhere. Have laptop will travel. Clouds and smart phones are our friends. You do have those things here in your small town, don’t you?”
“I know all about working from home.”
“Really? So the world of hammers and nails is high tech now?” Her condescending words sent a hot rush of remorse along her nerves. She hadn’t meant to handle their meeting this way, as if she were eighteen and scared and confused. She’d wanted to face him as a highly successful, competent woman of the world.
“I don’t work at the store anymore, Shelby. That’s my father’s job.”
There was a low, threatening undercurrent to his tone that scraped against her nerves. She ignored it. “So you have your own handyman business now? I saw the van when you drove up.”
Matt’s eyes darkened, and he shifted his weight slightly as if trying to control himself. “I only do that part-time. You know how we small-town guys are. We work as little as possible so we have more time to hunt and fish. We’re not very ambitious.”
Shelby cringed at hearing her own words taunting her. So much for putting on a front. Being face-to-face with him hurt more than she’d ever imagined. “Matt, please...”
The sound of a car pulling in the drive meant Gramma was back. Her chance to escape. “I’ll let Gramma know you’re here.” Quickly she moved through the hall and into the kitchen, meeting Ellen as she opened the door. “Why didn’t you tell me Matt Durrant lived next door to you?”
Ellen blinked in surprise. “I didn’t think you’d care.”
“I don’t. I mean, it was a surprise, that’s all.”
Gramma came into the kitchen, a puzzled frown marring her brow. “What difference could that make to you?”
“Because we were—” She hesitated, gauging her words. “We knew each other in school.”
Gramma shook her head. “I don’t understand. What does that have to do with anything?”
Shelby exhaled an exasperated grunt. There was no way she could make Gramma understand without going into the grim details of her past relationship with Matt, and she wasn’t ready to deal with that right now. “Never mind. He’s here. He wants to talk to you.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Gramma set her purse and a small sack of groceries on the counter, then strode toward the living room. Shelby followed slowly behind, stopping at the archway and leaning against the side. The more distance between her and Matt the better.
“Hello, Matt. You wanted to talk to me?”
Shelby listened as Matt quickly outlined the situation. Apparently he was in dire need of a babysitter. Something about all-day classes and needing help after school. What that had to do with a handyman business she didn’t know. She had to wonder where the mother was. Out of town perhaps?
“Oh dear, I don’t know. I’m so busy with my church work and the hospital. I hate to turn you down but...” Ellen turned to Shelby and smiled. “I have it. Shelby and I can both watch them. We’ll be like a tag team. When I’m volunteering she can fill in. It’s the perfect solution.”
Shelby couldn’t believe her ears. It took her a full second to find her voice. “What? No. I can’t. I mean—” She glanced over at Matt, who looked as horrified by the idea as she did.
“No. I mean, I wouldn’t dream of imposing on your granddaughter while she’s visiting. I’m sure I can work something out.”
Ellen waved off his concerns. “What are neighbors for? When do we start?”
Matt shifted his weight. “Tomorrow afternoon, but...” Gramma’s landline suddenly rang, breaking the tension in the room. “Oh, I’d better get that. That’ll be fine, Matt. I’m free in the afternoon. Send the children over here when they get off the bus.” Ellen waved at Matt and hurried toward the other room, leaving Shelby alone with Matt again.
Shelby searched for something to say. “Matt, I—”
“You met my kids.” His tone was flat and cool.
Shelby nodded, mentally scurrying to regain her footing at his abrupt change of subject. “They’re adorable. I like their dog, too.” She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of them. “They were very well-behaved. Cassidy politely refused my offer of cookies because she didn’t know me. You and your wife should be proud. You’ve done a wonderful job with them.”
Matt paled. His eyes turned dark and cold. “My wife died three years ago.”
She gasped. “Oh, Matt. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” He pinned her with a cold blue glare.
“My kids have been through a lot. They’re emotionally vulnerable and they tend to give their hearts too easily. I don’t want those hearts broken by a stranger passing through town.”
Stranger? Was that how he thought of her now? Before she could respond, he turned and walked to the door.
He stopped, looking over his shoulder. “Do we understand each other?”
There was a warning in his tone that was impossible to miss—stay away from my children. She nodded, stunned and dazed. The door closed behind him with a sharp pop, like a bullet to her heart.
* * *
Matt strode across the driveway. He shouldn’t have gone to Ellen’s. He should have called. He thought he’d been prepared to face Shelby again, but he’d been wrong. From the moment she’d opened the door he’d been rattled. She looked even more amazing up close, as fresh and lovely as he’d remembered. Her nearness had released a kaleidoscope of memories he didn’t want to explore. There was so much he’d wanted to say, to ask, but nothing would change the past. Nothing would explain away the wound she’d inflicted.
At the edge of the driveway, he stopped, casting his eyes upward briefly. Ellen’s solution to his babysitting problem had blindsided him. He had wanted to turn her down flat, shout that he didn’t want Shelby close to his kids. The last thing he needed was for his kids to form an attachment to Shelby, because when she left, and she would leave, the kids would lose another close relationship. He wouldn’t let that happen. But he’d been trapped. Ellen was his only option.
If only Katie were here. She’d know how to handle this. But if she were, there would be no need. He’d have his wife back, his kids would have their mom and he wouldn’t feel like he was constantly treading water just to survive.
As he walked past the Handy Works van, the words written on the side panel caught his attention. Showing God’s Grace. He stopped. Remorse surged through him. He hadn’t shown any grace to Shelby just now. He’d been curt, rude and unfeeling. Not the way he’d intended it to go. Or was it?
His conscience faulted him for being harsh and judgmental, but his heart told him he had to protect his kids from people like Shelby. People who turned their backs on the things in life that really mattered. He owed her an apology for his bad attitude but not for his position. As far as he was concerned, she was a stranger passing through. Nothing more.
Matt set his jaw and strode past the van toward the house. Shelby had assumed he had a handyman business. He should have expected that. She’d called him “a small-town man with small-town dreams.” He’d started to explain, then changed his mind. Let her believe whatever she wanted.
All that mattered was protecting the hearts of his children.
* * *
Shelby stared at the closed door, struggling to breathe through the thickness in her throat. She’d imagined her reunion with Matt in a thousand different ways, but never like that. She knew she’d hurt him when she’d broken their brief engagement, and she’d expected him to be angry. But the man who had walked out of the house wasn’t the gentle, tender boy she remembered. He was a fierce, protective guardian warning her to keep her distance from his children.
He’d made his opinion of her crystal clear. He had never forgiven her for what she’d done. She couldn’t blame him. She’d turned her back on everything he cared about. Belittled his beliefs and his dreams. She sank into a kitchen chair, fighting tears. “Small-town man with small-town dreams.”
How many times had she longed to take back her angry words? She wanted to explain to him how she’d felt that night fifteen years ago. How scared and confused she’d been. They’d had plans to go to college, to escape the backward life of Dover. But the day after he’d given her the ring, he’d changed. Instead of talking about their dreams for the future, he’d talked about settling down, staying in Dover. She’d felt betrayed. He’d said he wanted the same things she did, but apparently a ring on her finger had erased all that. Her mother’s dire warning was coming true. She’d said that ring only meant one thing, that Matt would expect her to give up her dreams for his. “You’ll be trapped here just like me.” She hadn’t wanted to believe her mother was right, but at that moment, it had seemed all too true.
It had all been so clear to her then. Either marry Matt and spend the rest of her life in a choked-off life in Mississippi or run like crazy toward college and her dreams of working on a magazine. Only one course of action had made sense. Run. It had been a matter of survival. And she’d achieved her dream. She stood at the top of her field. Though for how much longer, she didn’t know.
But at the moment she had a more urgent concern. Gramma was setting the table when she entered the kitchen. “Gramma, I can’t babysit Matt’s kids.”
“You aren’t, sweetie. I am. You’ll be my backup. It’ll be fun. They are darling kids. You’ll love them.”
“I met them this afternoon while you were gone. Their dog came over.”
“Aren’t they precious?” Gramma smiled. “Matt and Katie did a great job.”
Katie. The wife. Her throat tightened. “How did his wife die?”
“Cancer. That’s why he moved back home.”
Back home? “He hasn’t been here the whole time?”
“No. He owned some kind of big computer business in Atlanta. He sold it and moved back here about a year ago to be closer to his family.”
Shelby sorted through this new information. She’d always assumed Matt would never leave Dover. It was the crux of their breakup. It didn’t make sense.
Sinking down into the chair, she rested her elbows on the table and cradled her aching head. Could things get any worse? She’d come here to rest, ease the stress in her life, but how was she supposed to do that with Matt right next door? She’d have been better off if she’d stayed in New York. Matt’s pointed warning echoed in her mind. “He doesn’t want me watching his kids, Gramma.”
Ellen set the plates down on the table, a deep frown creasing her forehead. “Is there something between you two I should know about?”
Shelby inhaled. Great. She couldn’t avoid this any longer. “We dated.” Might as well tell it all. “We were engaged. Briefly. We broke up.” She hoped her grandmother wouldn’t press for more details. She couldn’t deal with that at the moment.
“I see. When was this?”
“The summer before I went to college. I was working at the Durrant’s hardware store. You and Grandpa were in Belize.” She shrugged as if it were insignificant, hoping her grandmother would let the subject drop.
“Oh.” Gramma lowered herself onto a chair. “I had no idea you were serious about anyone. That does make things awkward, but that was a long time ago. Why should it bother you so much now? Unless...” Gramma eyed her closely. “Ah. I see.”
Shelby squirmed. She never could hide her feelings from her grandmother.
“Well, it seems to me you two need to settle this thing between you pretty quick. It’s been going on way too long, don’t you agree?”
Chapter Three
Matt closed the lid on the Insect Man lunch box and set it beside the matching backpack. A quick glance around the kitchen revealed an escaped homework folder peeking out from under the stack of mail and flyers for his mom’s city council campaign. He pulled it out and unzipped Cassidy’s pink plaid backpack, sliding the folder inside as he called her name. “Cassidy. It’s time to go. Hurry it up, please.”
Kenny skidded to a halt beside the kitchen island, holding up his hands and baring his teeth for inspection. Matt turned the little palms over, then tilted his son’s face upward. “Looking good, sport.”
Kenny smiled and reached for his backpack. “Do we still get to go to Miss Ellen’s after school?”
Matt masked his concern with a forced smile. “Yes. And I expect you to behave yourselves.”
“Will Miss Shelby be there?” Cassidy slung her backpack over her shoulder and looked at him with expectant eyes. He stared down at her. Something was different. Her hair was sticking out on one side. He’d learned the hard way not to question his daughter’s fashion sense too vigorously. Maybe she meant it to look like that. “Uh, I suppose. But I’m sure she’ll be busy with her work, so don’t bother her. Miss Ellen is your babysitter.” And if he could make other arrangements he would. He wanted as much separation between Shelby Russell and his kids as possible.
“Okay, everyone to the van. We’re running out of time.”
Kenny’s eyes widened. “You mean we get to ride to school in the Handy Works van?”
“’Fraid so. I left my car at Grandpa’s store yesterday.”
Cassidy’s shoulders sagged, and she exhaled a disgusted whine. “Can’t we go get our car first? The van is ugly.”
“Ugly or not, it’s your only mode of transportation this morning.” Matt touched her shoulder, steering her toward the door.
“At least I’ll get to see Miss Shelby when I get home.”
Matt groaned inwardly. He had no choice about babysitters for the next couple of days, but he fully intended to beat every bush and look behind every tree until he found someone else to watch his kids.
Pulling the door closed behind him, Matt followed his kids to the van. Confident in his plan.
* * *
Shelby stared out the kitchen window at Matt’s house. She’d been forced to alter her assumptions about him. Not only had Matt left Dover, but he’d had a successful business and a wonderful marriage. Losing his wife had wounded him deeply. The grief reflected in his eyes still haunted her. As did his very pointed warning.
Did Matt think she would deliberately hurt his kids? Probably. He was assuming that she would walk out on them the way she had him. He wasn’t going to forgive her, and she had no one to blame but herself. She was finally reaping what she had sown.
So how was she supposed to babysit and still keep her distance? Hopefully, most of the babysitting duties would fall to Gramma and she’d keep a very low profile for the next few weeks.
The mantel clock in the living room struck the half hour, jerking Shelby rudely from her computer screen. Two-thirty. She’d worked through lunch, and now Cassidy and Kenny were due home soon and Gramma wasn’t home yet. A rush of anxiety warmed her blood. Where was she? After dialing Ellen’s cell number, Shelby waited impatiently. No answer. She tried again a few minutes later with the same result. This was not good.
Shelby paced the living room, her gaze darting through the front window to the end of the driveway. Matt would not be happy if she ended up being the babysitter today. With a nervous sigh Shelby stepped out onto the front porch and stood at the edge of the steps. There was nothing she could do but make sure Matt’s kids were safe and sound when he came home. How hard could that be? She really liked his kids. She’d lost her heart to them the moment she’d met them. If it wasn’t for his staunch disapproval of her, she’d be looking forward to spending time with them.
The low rumble of a diesel engine sounded in the distance. Shelby moved down the porch steps to the sidewalk, watching as the big yellow bus stopped and opened its doors. Kenny was off first, his little legs breaking into a run that sent his backpack bobbing up and down. He waved, a huge happy smile on his face as he raced toward her.
“Hi. I beat Cass. She walks too slow.”
Shelby laughed out loud. She was shocked to realize it had been a very long time since she’d known any true joy. The bus pulled away, and Shelby watched as Cassidy waved to someone then started toward her.
“Hi. I’m glad you’re going to watch us.”
The child’s comment sent a rush of warmth through Shelby’s heart. “Me, too. I’m looking forward to spending time with both of you.” It was the truth. Whatever problems Matt had, whatever reservations he held, he’d have to handle on his own. She wasn’t going to close herself off from these adorable children just because he harbored an old grudge.
“Miss Ellen left you some cookies. Are you hungry?” The responses were unanimous. Shelby followed the energetic kids up the steps and into the house. For the next three hours she was going to enjoy herself. Matt Durrant could just deal with it.
* * *
Matt pulled into the driveway, parking his car close to the side door of the house. His tension eased when he saw Ellen’s car parked in its normal spot. He’d managed to get off work early. He hadn’t been comfortable with the kids being around Shelby. He asked around the campus but found no alternative child care. He’d even called the local nanny service, but the cost was ridiculous. Hopefully he’d be able to make different arrangements over the weekend. His kids were still fragile emotionally. He had to make sure they were protected.
A firm tap on Ellen’s front door brought no response. Ellen rarely locked her door, so he tapped again then eased it open. He smiled when he recognized his children’s laughter. “Hello, anybody here? It’s me.”
“Daddy’s home!” Kenny’s shout echoed through the house. Matt stepped into the foyer in time to catch his son as he propelled himself up into his arms. “Hey, sport. Sounds like you’re having a good time.”
Kenny nodded and let go. “We’re looking at pictures of you. Come see.”
“Me?” Matt followed his son into the dining room, trying to find a reason why Ellen would have pictures of him. Cassidy was seated at one end of the table, her chair pulled close to Shelby’s. A board game was laid out on the opposite end. His daughter looked over her shoulder and smiled, sending his heart into meltdown. His little princess had him tightly wrapped around her sweet little finger.
“Hey, Daddy. Come see. We found pictures of you in high school. Look, look.” She motioned him to look over her shoulder. Matt moved forward, noticing for the first time the smile on Shelby’s face. Her brown eyes sparkled, highlighting the gold flecks, and there was a soft rosy glow in her cheeks. She looked contented and happy. Matt stepped to his daughter’s right side, away from Shelby, but the faint flowery scent of her fragrance drifted around him.
“Look, Dad, that’s you.” Cassidy pointed to a picture in a yearbook. He had to smile. Had he ever looked that young? He chuckled softly deep in his throat. “That would be me, all right.”
“You have lots of pictures in here.”
Matt reached out and folded back the cover to check the date. His senior year. “Yeah, I was pretty active that year. How did this turn up at Ellen’s house?” He directed his question to Shelby.
“It’s mine. I bought one every year. I was usually on the staff, so.” She shrugged. “I kept a lot of my things here at Gramma’s. We didn’t have much room in our apartment, and my mom liked to throw things out.”
“So where’s Ellen? I assumed she’d be here.” He felt like a heel when Shelby blanched at his question. But he’d arranged for her grandmother to watch the kids. Not her.
“She’s next door. Mrs. Horvath is under the weather, and she took her a casserole.”
Kenny had climbed back into his chair on the other side of his sister. “Daddy, is Mommy’s picture in the book?”
Matt braced against the pain the simple question stirred up. Would it always be this way? “No, son. Your mom didn’t grow up in Dover.”
“Where did she grow up?”
“In Savannah, Georgia. Remember, we went to the beach there right before she got sick?”
“I remember.” Cassidy’s happy mood had vanished.
Time to get his kids back into their own safe space. “Come on, kids. We’d better go home. You have homework, and we need to start supper.”
“We did our homework first thing.” Cassidy pushed back from the table.
“Dad, can we look at pictures of Mom after supper?”
“Sure, son.” He turned toward the door, aware of Shelby following behind him and also aware that he had to thank her. The kids gathered up their backpacks, then clustered near him at the front door.
“Matt.” He wasn’t in the mood to talk to her, but he couldn’t be rude. She had kept his children safe and entertained. He pulled open the door and gestured his kids to leave. “Y’all go on over to the house. I’ll be along in a minute.” He turned to face Shelby.
“I hope I didn’t cause any trouble with the yearbooks. It never occurred to me that they’d expect to see pictures of their mother.”
“Not your fault. I never know when the questions will come. They catch me off guard all the time.”
“I can’t image how difficult this is for you and the children. She was obviously a wonderful mother.”
“She was.” Sweet recollections drifted through his mind, but this time without the biting sting. “She was funny, always thinking of new ways to entertain them. She knew exactly what to say and do for any situation. Losing her traumatized the kids. Especially Cassidy. I put her in counseling for a while. She was like a lost puppy.”
“Is that why you moved back home, to be around your family?”
Her question made him realize that he’d been spilling his guts to Shelby. Absolutely not what he’d intended. But then, she’d always been easy to talk to. She knew things about him no one else did. But she didn’t need to know about his pain and loss. Not that she’d care. She was only passing through.
He had to remember his primary goal here. Keep his kids from any more heartbreak. “Yes. I felt they needed some stability. Some security. Atlanta was too full of memories. I sold my business and everything else and came home.” He held her gaze, willing her to understand what he was about to say. “My kids have suffered deeply in losing their mother. I want them to be surrounded by people who love them as much as I do. I want them to have people in their lives they can depend on, who won’t walk out when they need them most.” He stopped, realizing he wasn’t talking about his family anymore. He saw Shelby’s brown eyes darken.
“People like me, Matt?”
He set his jaw. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Matt turned to leave. “Tell Ellen thanks. I’m still looking for other babysitting options. I know she misses her volunteer work, and I don’t like imposing on you.”
Shelby crossed her arms over her chest. “Because I’m not dependable?”
No sense playing games. “No. You’re not.”
* * ** * *
The afternoon light streamed through the windowed walls of the sunroom on the back of Gramma’s house, casting a warm glow on the cozy space. Curled up in the old chaise, a magazine in her lap, she reveled in the familiar sense of peace. She glanced around the room at the stacks of magazines and smiled. She’d fallen in love with magazines because of her gramma. She’d hurry over here after school and lose herself in the glossy pages of beautiful rooms, filled with beautiful people doing beautiful things. Life within the pages was always perfect and happy. Magazines allowed her to escape her mother’s bitterness and forget for a while that she didn’t fit in at school.
She could almost relax completely, if it weren’t for Cassidy and Kenny coming over shortly. After a quick hello yesterday, she’d escaped to her room, explaining she had work to do and leaving Gramma to watch over the kids. She’d missed being with them but it allowed her to avoid Matt. She hadn’t come out of her room until she’d seen the three Durrants walking across the drive to their house.
Gramma’s advice had hovered in the back of her mind. It was time to settle the past. All this huffing and puffing was silly. But how did they do that when it was clear that Matt would never forgive her for walking out?
Today, however, she couldn’t use work as an excuse to avoid babysitting. Gramma had called to say she’d been invited to dinner and a movie with friends. She wanted to know if Shelby was okay with keeping the kids. Shelby couldn’t refuse. Her grandmother deserved a night out, but that left her to deal with Matt’s disapproval.
She set her jaw. She was not going to worry herself into knots over this. Matt needed someone responsible to keep the kids; she was his only option. All she could do was be as conscientious as possible, and hopefully in time he’d come to trust her.
Squealing air brakes sounded outside, and she found herself smiling, even as a trickle of nervousness formed. What did she know about taking care of children? She’d certainly never learned anything from her mother. She’d always made motherhood seem like a burden, the worse choice a woman could make. But Matt’s adorable kids were making her take a new look at some of her assumptions.
Shelby met the children halfway down the drive. “Hello there.” Seeing their sweet, happy faces warmed her heart in a way she’d never experienced before. Cassidy fell into step with her as they made their way back toward Gramma’s house. Kenny raced ahead.
“I’m glad it’s Friday. No school for two whole days.”
“Don’t you like school?”
Cassidy nodded. “But I don’t like homework.”
“Join the club. No one does.” Shelby glanced up at Kenny, who stood on his porch, backpack at his feet. “Kenny, come on. Gramma left some brownies today.”
“Can’t we stay at our house today? Please? I want to play with Chester. I don’t want to wait until Dad gets home.”
Cassidy nodded. “Could we? I like being at your house, but I’d really like to go home.”
Shelby couldn’t think of any reason not to, other than she would feel uncomfortable in Matt’s home. But her primary concern was the children. “I suppose. Let me go get the key and a few of my things.”
Standing in Matt’s house a few minutes later, she couldn’t resist the temptation to look around. Unlike her grandmother’s house, which retained all its original details, Matt’s home had been completely remodeled. Walls had been removed, rooms opened up and windows replaced, giving the home an open, spacious feel. Despite the clean lines and modern style, the furniture was practical and functional. Evidence of the children lay scattered around the room—toys on the floor, a stuffed animal on the ottoman. Matt’s work boots stood beside the leather recliner.
She forced herself to ignore her surroundings. Quickly she moved to the kitchen and set her laptop on the table. Cassidy, never far from her side, took the brownies and set them on the island. “Any homework?”
“A little. But I can do it Sunday night.”
Shelby laid an arm across the girl’s shoulders. “Would you like some advice, woman to woman?” Cassidy nodded, a huge smile on her face. “Do you know what the word procrastinate means?”
Cassidy groaned softly. “To put stuff off.”
“Yep. I learned after much painful struggle that the best way to enjoy your time off is by getting the unpleasant things out of the way first. It’s freeing. I think you should try it.”
Cassidy pointed to the treats on the counter.
Shelby shook her head. “Before we have brownies.”
With the young girl up in her room and Kenny safely in the backyard with Chester, Shelby took a moment to check emails on her smart phone. There was no more news about the future of the company. Not surprising. Everything was on hold until the upcoming meeting. It was the not knowing that kept her on edge. The cold hard truth was the chances of her being out of work soon were very good. And she couldn’t get back to New York to look for another job until she had her health back on track.
“I used to live in Atlanta when I was little,” Cassidy stated as they munched on homemade brownies a short while later. Kenny had scooped his up and returned to the yard, mumbling something about finding a lizard on the fence.
Shelby was still picking at her piece, knowing she shouldn’t be eating the chocolate treat but unable to completely resist. “So I heard. Atlanta is a very big city.”
“There’s a lot to do there. Not like here.”
Shelby stifled a grin at the girls assumed air of sophistication. “Don’t you like Dover?”
“It’s okay. I didn’t like it much when I first got here. Boring.” She rolled her eyes. “But I have friends now so it’s not so bad.” Cassidy took another bite of brownie. “What do you do in New York?”
“I edit a magazine. You may know it. Tween Scene.”
Cassidy eyes widened. “Really? That’s the coolest magazine ever.”
“Thank you.” Shelby couldn’t help a swell of pride at the compliment. She’d worked hard to make the magazine a success. It broke her heart to think it might be discontinued under the new management.
“I can’t believe that’s your magazine. Wait until I tell my friends.”
“Well, it’s not mine. I don’t own it. I only work for it, but I’m glad to hear you like Tween Scene so much. What’s your favorite section?”
Cassidy thought a moment. “The one where they show you what to wear and what not to wear. And the makeup one, and the part where you talk about TV stars. Only...I’m not allowed to read it.”
Shelby stopped midbite. “What? But you’re so familiar with it.”
“I know, but Dad says it’s too grown-up for me. He says the articles aren’t good for girls my age.”
Tween Scene precisely targeted Cassidy’s demographic. Did Matt really disapprove or was he steering her away from the publication because she was the editor? Come to think of it, did he even know she was connected to the magazine? Could his comments be solely objective? Doubtful. Tween Scene was perfect. “I’m sorry to hear that. We try very hard to make the magazine appeal to girls your age. If your dad won’t let you read it, how do you know so much about it?”
A guilty smile moved her lips. “I read it at Molly’s.”
“Oh. I see.”
“You won’t tell Dad, will you?”
“No. But do you think you should be disobeying your father?”
Cassidy shook her head. “But it’s such a cool magazine.”
Cool in the young girl’s eyes. Inappropriate in her parent’s. Which one was the truth? As far as Shelby could recall, nothing in Tween Scene should cause concern in parents. Apparently, Matt’s overprotective streak ran to more than just their hearts.
“I wish I was thin and pretty like you,” Cassidy said, her voice soft and wistful. Shelby made a quick survey of the little girl. She wasn’t rail thin, but she wasn’t chubby, either. She was nicely filled out and starting to transform into a young lady. “I think you’re perfect.”
Cassidy smiled. “Thanks, but I want to look like that girl on the cover last time. You know, the one where she was wearing those cool jeans and that striped top with the patches.”
She remembered it well. It had been one of the best covers all year. “That was Yasmine.”
Shelby thought about the child models and celebrities she worked with regularly. They were nothing like Cassidy. Most were mature beyond their years and bone thin. Nearly all the models were older than the preteen image Tween Scene promoted. Something about that bothered her, but she wasn’t sure what.
“I wish I could look like that.” Cassidy sighed wistfully. “She’s so cool.”
Shelby could remember when she felt the same way. She’d look at the girls in the magazines and long for a magic wand that could transform her into a glamorous model.
“I have an idea.” Shelby moved to the table and pulled out her smart phone and opened her laptop.
“What are we going to do?”
“You’ll see.” Shelby winked, opening her camera app. “I have a magic wand.” She motioned Cassidy to stand against the wall. “Okay, now strike a pose.”
Cassidy giggled self-consciously. “I don’t know what to do.”
Shelby began taking pictures. “Pretend you’re a model. Pose like you see the girls on the cover of my magazine.”
A few minutes later, Shelby moved to her laptop and pulled up the images. “Come watch.” Cassidy came to her side. After selecting her editing program, she scrolled through the shots to find the best image to work with. First she added highlights and fullness to Cassidy’s hair. Next she made her eyes larger and deepened the color, adding sparkle for good measure. A click of the mouse slimmed the neck and added hollows to the cheeks. Another whitened the teeth. One more trimmed the body line.
Lastly, she turned her attention to the clothes. She lightened the hue of the jeans and changed the color of the blouse to a jewel tone that better complemented the new deeper shade of her eyes. A few more minor touch-ups, and Shelby leaned back in her chair. “Well, what do you think?”
“Oh wow. I look like a TV star.” She was breathless. “That is so cool.”
Shelby gave the girl a quick hug. “You look exactly like the girls on the covers of my magazine. In fact.” She made a few more clicks and added the magazine banner across the top of the page, making the picture resemble the cover of Tween Scene.
“It’s me, but it’s not me. Oh thank you, thank you,” Cassidy gushed, bouncing up and down. “This is so awesome. Can I have a copy?”
“Sure. I’m not connected to your printer though. I can email it to you so you can print it out. What’s your address?” Shelby typed in the address, attached the file and hit Send. “There you go. Do you know how to print on your computer?”
“We only have Dad’s. He won’t let us have our own. He says we’re too young.”
“I’m sure he’ll print it for you when he gets here.” She glanced at the wall clock. Matt would be home before long. “What are you doing for supper? Should I be putting something in the oven?”
Cassidy shrugged. “I don’t know. Aunt Laura usually made something for us, but she’s not here now.”
Cassidy’s eyes grew wide, and Shelby saw excitement building.
“What?”
“Can I cook supper for Daddy? I could surprise him.”
It was a sweet idea. “Do you know how to cook?”
“A little. I help Aunt Laura sometimes. I know how to make lasagna. My gramma showed me how.”
Shelby was warming to the idea. She used to love to cook, but like many of her favorite pastimes, she’d given it up for lack of time. “I think that’s a great idea. Let’s see if we have everything we need.” Cassidy jumped into the task with gusto, surprising Shelby with how much she knew. Working with the little girl on the dinner and helping her through the process was a surprisingly satisfying experience.
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Lorraine Beatty
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Old Love, New NeighborForced to return home after a health scare, Shelby Russell winds up next door to none other than Matt Durrant. Her one-time fiancé and now a widower with two kids, Matt plans to keeps Shelby at arm’s length. Even if she’s the logical choice for a nanny. Even if his kids love her. Even if he′s happier than he’s been in years.But Matt was the one left behind when Shelby went to follow her dreams. After losing so much, Matt’s courage is faltering. And when he learns the truth about what Shelby faces now, they’ll both need a heavy dose of courage if they dare hope for a future.