Rocky Mountain Match
Rocky Mountain Match
Pamela Nissen
When blindness strikes carpenter Joseph Drake, the prospect of a lifetime of darkness fills him with despair. But then his brother hires Katie Ellickson.The strong-willed, confident teacher knows what it's like to be outcast, alone–and she won't give up on Joseph, even when he's ready to give up on himself. He thinks blindness is his most difficult obstacle, until he finds a bigger challenge–trying to reach Katie's heart. Will she let him? Katie has secrets that she's carried with her to the Rocky Mountains. And there's a darkness of her own in her past, which she can't escape for long….
“Why don’t you stop being so stubborn, Joseph? It’s all right to let someone help, you know,” Katie urged.
“Easy for you to say.” Joseph ground out the words, his frustrated gaze set down the road.
Katie took a step closer, then gently grasped his hand, inwardly cringing when he jerked at her touch. “Please,” she whispered. “Let me help you.”
When Joseph didn’t pull away, she placed his hand at her elbow and led him home, acutely aware of the stiffness in his touch. And when they reached his porch, she turned to find his unseeing gaze fixed on her, his eyes the most beautiful golden-brown she’d ever seen.
For a moment neither one of them moved. Delicious, comforting warmth spread through her when he swept his thumb over her hand in a light caress. Her heartbeat quickened at his comforting presence. Stirred at his soothing voice, she found herself longing for his nearness to lend her hope and confidence. And longing for his touch…
PAMELA NISSEN
loves creating. Whether it’s characters, cooking, scrapbooking or other artistic endeavors, she takes pleasure in putting things together for others to enjoy. She started writing her first book in 2000 and since then hasn’t looked back. Pamela lives in the woods in Iowa with her husband, daughter, two sons, Newfoundland dog and cats. She loves watching her children pursue their dreams, and is known to yell on the sidelines at her boys’ football games, or cry as she watches her daughter perform. She relishes scrapbooking weekends with her sister, coffee with friends and running in the rain. Having glimpsed the dark and light of life, she is passionate about writing “real” people with “real” issues and “real” responses.
Rocky Mountain Match
Pamela Nissen
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.
—Ephesians 3:18
For my lovely daughter, Mary Anna, whose strength and perseverance inspires. You are a heroine in the very truest sense of the word.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my friends and family: your encouragement has carried me through seasons of doubt. And to Melissa and the Steeple Hill family, thank you for believing in me and loving my characters as much as I do. Sincere gratitude goes to my amazing critique partners: Diane, your words and friendship are life-giving; Jacque, your tenacious loyalty is comforting; and Roxanne, your gentle expertise coaxes me out of my comfort zone. To my wonderful children, Mary Anna, Noel and Elias: thank you for being so supportive, and for tolerating more than one “cold cereal dinner” on this journey. And special thanks go to my husband, Bill, who (when I couldn’t get these characters and story line out of my head) said, “Why don’t you write a book?”
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Letter to Reader
Questions for Discussion
Chapter One
Boulder, Colorado—1890
Inky darkness crowded Joseph Drake from every side. It shrouded him like a thick coat, with power so substantial that it was almost suffocating. Its bleakness mocked his vulnerable state, sending humiliation barreling through him with avalanche force.
He hated this. Every bit of it. He could barely stomach the thought of asking for help or being pitied. And he loathed the idea that those helping him would be monitoring his each and every pathetic move.
Drawing in a steadying breath, he braced himself against the pitch blackness as he sat on the edge of the feather mattress, clutching the thin sheet in his hand. He was so dizzy. His head swam and his ears rang incessantly, deepening his bad mood. He couldn’t have imagined how unsettled he’d still feel after being on bed rest for three weeks. Raising his hands to his head, he slid his fingers over the fresh bandages shrouding his eyes. How he wished he’d just wake up and find that his accident in the woodshop had been a horrible nightmare.
“God, please,” he pleaded, his throat thick with emotion. “I need my sight back.”
When Ben, his older brother by two years and a doctor in Boulder, had removed the wraps yesterday, Joseph had been confident that he’d be able to see again. But that confidence had vanished like some taunting wraith as he’d frantically grabbed for any image through the thick, dark cloud.
He’d tried to stay calm, but deep down he’d felt a crumbling begin at the very base of who he was. All along he’d minimized his injury. After all, it could be too soon to tell any permanent outcome—and Ben was new to doctoring. The thought had crossed Joseph’s mind more than once that maybe Ben was a little green around the edges and lacked experience.
He’d reasoned it all, but the prospect of being permanently blind staked out his soul like a dank, stony grave marker. And the huge furniture order he’d taken on just days before his accident lay like dead flowers crushed into the fresh turned dirt. He’d cushioned the deadline when he’d signed the contract, but with his brother, Aaron, being the only one working in the woodshop for the past three weeks, the padding had been jerked away hard and fast.
Fighting to remain hopeful, he pushed himself off the bed, his cracked ribs protesting with the movement. He inhaled sharply, digging his toes into the rag rug’s nubby texture.
His jaw ticked with instant irritation as a distant chorus of giggles wafted through his open window. It didn’t take much to conjure up the origin of the twittering noise. He could see it now…a cluster of bonneted women standing in front of the hotel. Lined up like flowers for the picking, just another batch of mail-order brides brought in to help populate the west.
It was downright demeaning, in his book, the way they’d set themselves on display like that.
When a knock sounded on his front door, he startled. Clad in just underclothes, he lurched forward, struggling for balance as he probed for the wall where his clothes were hung.
Ben’s strong urging that Joseph gradually ease back into life on his own whipped through his mind like a warning knell. But bandages over his eyes or not, Joseph was a twenty-seven-year-old man, and like a caged animal, he craved independence and freedom. Privacy.
“I’ll be right out,” he yelled after another knock sounded.
His fingertips brushed against sturdy cotton fabric and he sighed with relief. He pulled on his britches and boots, then shrugged into his shirtsleeves, although a new level of frustration assaulted him as he intently focused on lining up the five wooden buttons with buttonholes.
Eight years ago he’d built his own home, but now he could barely dress himself. He shuffled out of the bedroom, galled at having to give such simple routines a second thought. Groping along the wall, his breathing grew shallow as each awkward step echoed over the hardwood floor—a mocking reminder of his vulnerable state.
When his leg knocked hard into something, Joseph flinched, reaching down to steady the imposing piece of furniture. His hands careened into the small table and tipped it over, sending a loud bang reverberating throughout the quiet house.
“Joseph? Are you all right?” Ben rapped at his door again.
He stooped to right the piece. “I’ll be right there,” he shot back through tightly clenched teeth.
Hands quivering, he felt the satin-smooth finish. He’d always prided himself in this well-known trademark, but now he wondered if he’d ever be able to resume his profession.
And his plans to marry and have a family… None of that was certain now. If his vision didn’t return, there was no way he’d saddle any young woman to life with a blind man.
Humiliation cloaked him soundly and offending images of himself stumbling through life alone and without sight intensified his bad mood.
When Joseph finally reached the front door, he fumbled for the handle, then eased it open. A gust of fresh air hit him square in the face, reminding him just how long he’d been down.
“Mornin’, Joseph!” Ben clapped him on the arm. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurry you, but you said you didn’t want me barging in anymore, but then when I heard…” Ben’s voice trailed off. “I see you made it up and about.”
“Were you expecting something else?” Joseph retorted.
“Not exactly, I guess.”
Joseph tried to push aside his sour mood as he caught the rumble of a buckboard rolling slowly by in front of his house. “What brings you over? I thought you gave me a clean bill of health yesterday.” Sliding a hand up the front of his shirt, he checked for misaligned buttons.
“How are the ribs? Are they giving you much trouble?”
“I feel fine,” he lied, ignoring the constant dull ache and the comment he could swear he overheard from inside the wagon, regarding his bandages. His accident had probably been the talk of the town for the past three weeks.
“Well, your color is better. Not bad for a man who’s been through what you have. Are you sure you’re feeling strong enough to tackle things today?”
“I said I’m fine.” Joseph furrowed his brow. “But if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were expecting me to trek up the Flatirons with you. That’s not likely to happen.”
“Believe me, a quiet day in the mountains sounds great after visiting with ol’ Donovan Grimes. The fellow’s hearing must be just about gone, the way he shouts. My ears are still ringing.” Ben shifted his booted feet on the porch floor. “By the way, Aaron said that Ellie had planned to bring dinner tonight, but she’s not feeling well. I’m going to check in on her after this.”
Joseph grew immediately concerned for his sister-in-law. She was having a difficult time of this first pregnancy and he knew it weighed on his younger brother Aaron. Especially now that he was carrying double the load in the woodshop with Joseph being laid up.
“Tell you what, I’ll just have the hotel diner make you up a plate and deliver it to you. How’s that sound?”
Joseph balled his fists. “I said yesterday that I’d take it from here.”
“I’d accept the help if I were you,” Ben urged. “Soon enough you’ll be begging us to have a little pity on you and bring over some good, home-cooked meals again.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Stepping outside, he closed the door behind him so Ben wouldn’t get any ideas of staying for a visit.
Ben cleared his throat, a trait Joseph had begun to recognize over the past three weeks as a nervous gesture. “Remember when we talked, shortly after your fall, about getting you training in case you don’t—”
“Whoa. Whoa.” He swiped beads of perspiration forming on his brow. “We talked? I think you mean you talked. I didn’t agree to anything.”
“I know how adamant you are about being independent—I want that for you, too. But you’ll get there quicker with training,” Ben finished as though racing to get it out.
Gritting his teeth, Joseph plastered himself against the door. He’d prove to his older brother that he could make it on his own, but he couldn’t even seem to move his feet enough to turn and stalk back inside. Truth be told, he was scared to death to take a step forward into the darkness.
And he’d never been afraid of anything.
“What are you getting at, Ben?” A bout of light-headedness assaulted him and he struggled to keep his balance as he stood to his full six foot, three inches. “What’s going on?”
Ben sighed. “Promise me you’ll hear me out before you go jumping down my throat, all right?”
“I’m not promising you anything.” Joseph tightened his fists. “Just tell me what you did. Now!”
“I—I arranged for a teacher to come out from Iowa.”
“You did what?”
“I arranged for a teacher to help you,” Ben declared with a little more firmness. “I know you don’t want to do this, but you need to give it a chance.”
“It’s a waste of time. My vision is going to return.”
“I hope you’re right. You know that I’ve read everything I can get my hands on. But like I told you yesterday, the more time that passes with no change, the less chance there is for restoration,” Ben said, his voice tight. “I know this has to be hard, but if your vision doesn’t return, what then?”
That question had staked out territory in Joseph’s mind for the past three weeks. That his entire life could be permanently altered infringed on his well-planned life like some dark omen.
In a softer tone, Ben continued. “Will you refuse help even when it could make things easier for you?”
Every muscle shuddered with anger. “I—don’t—need—help!”
Even as the declaration crossed his lips he knew he might be deceiving himself. But the thought of being trained in the simple aspects of life rankled like nothing else. He’d always been self-sufficient. Always.
Joseph forced himself to stop shaking. “Wire the man and let him know he doesn’t need to waste a long trip like that.”
Awkward silence draped heavily between them, making Joseph’s skin prickle and a foreboding creep down his spine.
Ben sighed, slow and heavy. “I—I can’t do that.”
“You can’t send a telegraph wire?” His pulse pounded in his ears. “Why not? It’s not that hard.”
When his brother stepped back, Joseph loosened his fists, unfurling them one finger at a time. Ben could be stubborn, but so could Joseph—and he had a long history of winning arguments.
“Miss Ellickson,” Ben called out toward the street. “Why don’t you come on up.”
Joseph froze. “Tell me what’s going on,” he demanded, his heart slamming against his chest. “I mean it, Ben.”
Ben came to stand directly in front of him now, so close that Joseph could smell his brother’s subtle, clean scent. “Your teacher arrived by stage two days ago.”
Hearing the faint clicking of boots across the boardwalk, a trembling shook Joseph to the core. Unbidden, he pictured an old schoolmarm clad in a dowdy brown dress, a severe knot of mousy-brown hair clinging to the back of her head and rimmed glasses perched on her long nose.
His jaw muscle ticked. “Why wasn’t I informed? This is my life we’re talking about here.”
“You’ll probably never forgive me for this. And I knew that you’d refuse, no matter what sense I tried to talk into you. You’re stubborn, Joseph, too stubborn for your own good. As your brother and doctor, I made the decision for you.”
“That’s just great! I get to have my life planned by you now.” Joseph gave a mock laugh. “I may have lost my vision for a while, but I haven’t lost my mind. Send the woman back!”
Just shy of Joseph’s height, Ben leaned closer, his voice dropping to a stern whisper. “I also knew that as a perfect gentleman, you wouldn’t give this dedicated young woman a hard time.”
The distinct sound of the front gate clicking shut and the woman’s slow, light steps coming from the walkway sent Joseph’s heart racing inside his chest. His breathing grew ragged.
“Listen, Joseph, she comes highly recommended, with a glowing letter sent by the school she’s been working at for the past five years. She’s Sven and Marta Olsson’s niece,” Ben added as though that tidbit of information would make him agree.
Well, he was anything but agreeable. The last thing he wanted was some teacher coming in and watching him stumble around his own house.
He tensed, only faintly aware of his sore ribs. “It’s a waste of her time,” he said in a harsh whisper.
Ben firmly gripped Joseph’s shoulder. “Whether you gain back partial vision or no vision, she can help you right now. She’s used to this.”
“Used to what? Seeing someone make a fool of himself?”
The soft treading of the woman’s shoes up the stairs sent a quaking through Joseph’s entire being. Beads of sweat trailed down his forehead, soaking into the bandage.
“I wouldn’t be so quick to make a judgment,” Ben urged. “You never know, she might just be the answer to your prayers.”
The answer to his prayers? Katie mused silently.
Clutching her instruction books tight against her chest, she stepped up to the porch and stared at Mr. Drake who stood legs braced wide, fists clenched at his sides and his chin set in stubborn defiance. She slid her gaze up, noticing that even though bandages shrouded his eyes, they couldn’t hide the fact that he looked none too happy. An unmistakable, aggravated scowl creased his forehead.
The answer to his prayers… I’m probably more like his worst nightmare, she admitted, swallowing hard.
Hope had bloomed on the long journey from Iowa to Colorado, but now uncertainty choked out eager anticipation like a dense thicket of weeds invading tender spring flowers. Never had she questioned her ability to teach and certainly she’d never shied from taking on a challenging student, so why should she now?
“Miss Ellickson, I’d like to introduce my brother, Joseph Drake.” The twinkle in the doctor’s gray-blue eyes belied his simple brown attire and had put her at ease when she’d met him yesterday, but now he appeared anything but confident.
Slipping her fingers over each fine pearl button trailing down her powder-blue waistcoat, she grappled for confidence. “Good morning, Mr. Drake. I’m pleased to meet you.”
When she reached for his tight-fisted hand, he drew back as though she’d seared him with a hot iron. His mouth was set firm and hard. He shifted his weight from one foot to another, his leg muscles bunching beneath camel-colored britches. And as he drew his shoulders back, his chest stretched wide, revealing a well-defined muscular build beneath a white cotton shirt.
Embarrassment flushed her cheeks and she quickly averted her gaze to the fresh coat of dark gray paint that gleamed like icing on the porch floor.
“You may not feel ready for it, Joseph, but Miss Ellickson is prepared for a full day’s work.” The doctor gave her a lame look of encouragement, then shifted a wary gaze to his brother. “I know you’re probably mad enough to spit nails, but give it two weeks. At least until you see the doctor in Denver.”
While he continued with a halfhearted pep talk, Mr. Drake remained grim. His commanding presence filled the small porch, sending a quiver of unease down her spine. And a brief, unwanted flash of fear through her mind.
Nervously she smoothed back wispy strands of blond waves, wondering when the unbidden memories from the past year would stop haunting her. When would she be free of her attacker’s vile grasp? Even months later, she could still feel his hands pinning her down to a dire moment in time that would never end.
Her chest pulled tight, the same painful questions swirling through her mind…. Where was God then? Why hadn’t He helped her? Why hadn’t He protected her?
She wanted to trust God, wanted to rest knowing that He was watching out for her. But it seemed a mountain of anguish stood in her way of finding the childlike innocence she’d once had.
Squeezing her eyes tight, she refused to let her past get in the way of this new job assignment. When Uncle Sven had wired her about this opportunity, it was like a thousand Christmases all wrapped into one. This was a chance to start fresh, far away from the continuous reminders. A chance to distance herself from the constant threat she felt back home.
Squaring her shoulders, she studied the man before her.
Stubborn. She’d seen it more than once while working at the Braille and Sight-Saving School, but she’d never encountered someone so dead set on refusing help. His imposing stance spoke far louder than the words of protest she’d overheard as she’d waited on the boardwalk for the doctor to summon her.
“I won’t keep you two any longer.” Dr. Drake’s voice broke into her thoughts. “If you need anything, Miss Ellickson, please don’t hesitate to let me know.”
Nodding, she smoothed a hand down her full damask skirt, pasting on a tranquil smile in spite of feeling as if he was leaving her to one mean, hungry wolf. “We’ll be just fine.”
She watched the doctor’s long strides take him down the walk and almost wished she could follow. Scanning the tidy yard surrounded by a white picket fence, she experienced a measure of safety. But as she slid her gaze to the rugged Rocky Mountains, she felt a tangible unease at the untamed land.
While she turned to face her new student, she braced herself before she spoke. “I can understand your discomfort, Mr. Drake, if my presence here doesn’t sit well with you. If it eases your mind at all, I can assure you that you will get neither pity nor charity from me,” she stated simply, hoping to allay such fears.
“Quite honestly, you’ll get as much out of this as you’re willing to put in,” she added, unsuccessfully trying to gauge his response. “And if you readily embrace a challenge as your brother says you do, I think that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.”
From the stoic stance he’d demonstrated so far, she’d obviously underestimated the doctor’s claims that he was stubborn. Had Uncle Sven not vouched for Mr. Drake’s stellar character and assured her safety with him, she might just turn and leave for good. Which was exactly what he wanted right now.
And precisely what he didn’t need.
Firming up her wilting strength, she made a desperate grasp for boldness as she stood directly in front of him. “Mr. Drake, you need me. And I’m prepared to give you my all to help you gain independence. So perhaps we should begin our first…”
The words died on her lips as a low, deep growling sound came from the porch’s dark shadows. Her breath caught in her throat. Hair prickled on the back of her neck. She flicked her gaze to where a mound of black fur lumbered into the sunlight.
“Bear!” Stifling a scream, her books dropped to the porch floor. “Quick! Get inside! He’s coming!”
She lunged for Mr. Drake and wedged between his large frame and the clapboard house. Fear gripped like a vice, clamping down with brutal force as she wrapped her arms around his broad chest and tried to tug him toward the front door.
“Mr. Drake, please. We must—get to safety!” she grunted, struggling in vain to move him.
Peeking around him, she could see the hulking black bear closing in on her, its wide boxy head hung low, thick shoulders bearing its lumbering mass, and its long fluffy tail…
She froze. Grasped his chest tighter as waves of prickly heat spread through her. Bears didn’t have tails. Did they?
Narrowing her gaze, she braved another glance around Mr. Drake’s chest, all firm and muscular beneath her tight hold, to see a huge dog with a head the size of a barrel staring at her with big brown, expressive eyes. The dog dropped to the edge of the porch with a weighted thud and bored sigh, looking up at her as if to say it had been mortally wounded by her accusation.
“Miss Ellickson, that is a dog, not a bear,” he said, prying her hands loose from his chest.
Katie let out an unladylike whoosh of air. Utter embarrassment at her impropriety overwhelmed her as it dawned on her how close she was to Mr. Drake. Her cheeks flamed hot and she wiped a quivering hand over her lips.
She slipped out from behind him. “I—I apologize.”
Tugging at her waistcoat, she smoothed back her hair, grateful he couldn’t see her crimson cheeks. He could probably hear her heart pounding in her chest, though. “How foolish of me. It’s just that with the shadows I thought—”
“Perhaps it’s not me who has less-than-perfect sight,” he cut in without even the hint of a smile. “Colorado is no place for the faint of heart.”
Flames of anger nipped at her composure, but she quickly snuffed them out. “I’m sure it’s not—and I regret my outburst. I suppose I’m just leery of the wilds of Colorado,” she admitted on a shaky sigh. Even though she was a little more than leery of him right now, she was determined to remain professional. “Is this your dog?”
“Boone’s a Newfoundland, and he wouldn’t hurt you for anything,” he said as Katie stooped to pet the dog. “Unless he senses that I don’t like you.”
She pulled her hand back and passed a wary glance from the dog to him. “Well, then, I guess you’d better change your mind about me—or your dog will be having me for lunch.”
Chapter Two
Was she friend or foe?
That question reverberated through Joseph’s mind as he sank deeper into the chair across from where Miss Ellickson sat on the sofa. The faintest scent of lilies, pleasing and natural, drifted from her direction and he took a long, measured breath.
Since meeting her this morning, he’d been cross. He didn’t want her here, but felt trapped because his brother had set things up in such a clever way that Joseph wouldn’t have a choice but to slap his jaws shut and suffer through.
He’d entertained illusions of the woman taking off like a scared rabbit. Instead, she’d seemingly marked her territory and called him to climb this uphill battle—and he never backed down from a challenge.
He could hardly blame her if she’d chosen to leave because he wasn’t exactly Boulder’s idea of a welcoming committee. He was sour, indifferent and unfriendly, and he knew it.
Reaching down next to his chair, he found Boone’s head, soft and furry beneath his touch. He gently stroked the dog’s thick coat, acutely aware of Miss Ellickson’s presence.
Rivers of wounded pride coursed through his veins at his predicament. This woman may have come highly recommended and be competent, but she couldn’t give him what he wanted most… His vision.
Slumping deeper into the cushioned chair, he pressed the pads of his fingers over his bandaged eyes, something he often did hoping the pressure would somehow produce a change. He’d do most anything if it meant regaining his sight, but nothing seemed to make a difference. Strong will and hard work had always been his friends, but now it was as if they were bound on the sidelines while he stood alone in the midst of a raging battle.
Joseph held out hope that in two weeks, when he’d travel to see the doctor in Denver, he’d find more encouraging news. If so, he’d never take another day of blessed sight for granted.
Raking his fingers through his thick hair, he shifted uncomfortably in the chair, knowing that until then, this woman would witness each humiliating attempt to do things right.
Would she laugh? Turn away in embarrassment? Pity him?
He loathed not seeing! And was determined not to be a burden. But remembering how meager tasks such as dressing or walking through his own house took every bit of concentration he could amass, he wondered if things would ever come easy.
“Yoo-hoo…Joseph?” Julia Cranston’s high-pitched voice jerked him from his thoughts as the front door creaked open. “Are you home?”
Joseph briefly recalled the day of his accident when Aaron had found another love note from Julia at the door. She’d sealed it with red wax.
“Kinda bold, don’t ya think?” Aaron had jibed.
Joseph had glanced warily at the heart-shaped seal. He’d gone on a few innocent outings with Julia, but had no plans to go running down the aisle yet.
“Whatcha’ waitin’ for?” Aaron had asked. “If you’re holdin’ off till all your ducks are lined up, you’d better get movin’ fast or they’re gonna go line up in somebody else’s pond.”
At the time he’d thought little of Aaron’s prodding, figuring he had plenty of time to set in place that part of his life. But just minutes later his whole life had changed. A single moment, a careless movement on a ladder, had altered his entire life. Now he could only hope that God would answer the barrage of petitions he’d made for healing.
Hearing the door rattle again, he realized that Julia hadn’t visited for a week. Now that he was up from bed rest, he felt acutely aware of his inadequacy because a woman like Julia, delicately beautiful and refined, was used to being pampered. She’d sat by his bedside a few days since his accident, spending most of her time relating the latest news of Boulder’s upper crust, rarely inquiring about his injury.
“Come on in.” He stood and struggled for balance.
“Oh, there you are! I’m so glad to see you up,” Julia crooned as she beelined toward him, her skirts swishing and heels clicking across the wood floor.
The overwhelming powdery perfume she wore preceded her in a thick cloud, triggering the sudden need to sneeze. He raised a hand to his nose and warded it off as her light footsteps came to an abrupt stop in front of him.
“I—I thought you were going to be through with those silly old bandages,” she bleated, her excitement suddenly deflated.
He could almost feel her piercing hazel gaze bearing down on him. “Ben put new ones on to give my eyes more time.”
“More time? Whatever for? You said that you were going to be as good as new when those awful wraps came off.”
He swallowed hard. “My eyes need more time to heal.”
Julia gave an exaggerated whimper. “Well, that ruins positively everything! I had a very special surprise for you today, but now you won’t even be able to see it.”
“What was the surprise?” he asked, his jaw clenched tight.
“My dress, of course.” Stiff fabric rustled at her touch. “I just came from the dressmaker’s and I was going to surprise you. Daddy insisted I have a new dress made for the Glory Days celebration in a few weeks. It’s simply the most beautiful cobalt-blue taffeta you’ve ever seen,” she announced. After another long whimper she added, “Now you can’t even see it to tell me how stunning I look.”
Miss Ellickson cleared her throat from the sofa.
“Why, Joseph!” Julia perched a hand on his forearm. “I didn’t realize you had company.”
“Julia Cranston, this is Miss Ellickson.” He felt Julia stiffen, as though some invisible rod just shot up her back.
“Good morning, Miss Cranston,” his teacher said.
Julia threaded an arm through his. “Miss Ellickson, you say? I don’t recall the name from around here.”
He could only imagine the confused look on her face. Even though her family had arrived just months ago from Boston, she was already familiar with everyone within twenty square miles.
“You must be new to the area,” Julia finally conceded.
“I arrived just Saturday,” Miss Ellickson answered stiffly.
“Miss Ellickson is here from Iowa. Ben sent for her to—to carry out some training I may need.” The admission needled him.
“Whatever would you need training for, Joseph?” Julia sidled closer, her voice rising in pitch. “Uncle Edward says you’re the finest craftsman this side of the Rockies.”
He sighed. “Not training in carpentry. Training in case my sight doesn’t return—right away.” Or at all, he thought, the very prospect making his stomach churn.
“This certainly is a shock!” She hesitated, then patted his hand. “Well, you poor thing, Joseph, looking pitiful in those wraps the way you do. Maybe you should be back in bed?”
He winced at her choice of words. He didn’t want to be pitied. “I’m fine. Really. What brings you here, anyway?”
“I stopped by the shop thinking, of course, that you’d be there working your little heart out after being in bed for so long.” Her voice was loud enough to call in cattle. “You can imagine my surprise when Aaron said you were still at home.”
“My eyes are bandaged, not my ears.” He dug his fingers into the chair’s thick stuffing. “I can hear you just fine.”
“Of course. As I was saying,” she continued, the pitch of her voice showing no noticeable change. “I brought you a most wonderful meal. I’m quite certain you’ll be very pleased.”
A tantalizing aroma wafted to his senses, penetrating the cloud of perfume. He tried not to show his surprise at her sudden display of domestic prowess. “Did you make this yourself?”
“Well, I…not exactly. But I gave Cook very specific instructions. She absolutely puts me to shame, Joseph,” she simpered, then whisked out of the front room toward the kitchen. “I am simply dreadful in the kitchen.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You probably do a fine job,” he called after her, but remembering the sawdust taste of the cookies she’d made last week, he was pretty sure that wasn’t true.
“You’re a dear to say so. But I dare say that I won’t be winning any first-place ribbons in the pie-baking contest at the town celebration.” Julia’s high-pitched laughter shot through his house like bolts of lightning. “Come and eat, Joseph.”
Vile fear wrapped around him when the almost twenty feet he had to go suddenly felt more like a mile. Perspiration beaded his forehead and a slow trembling coursed through his body like deadly venom. His pulse pounded in his head, throwing off his concentration. He gritted his teeth. Drew in a shuddering breath. Just as he started forward with his hands outstretched, he felt a light touch on his arm.
“Mr. Drake,” Miss Ellickson whispered beside him as she gently guided his hand to her elbow. “Would you be so kind as to escort me to the table?”
He jerked his head down to her, ready to refuse. But the overwhelming relief he felt as she led him with steady measured steps to the kitchen brought his protest up short.
“You must be positively famished,” Julia gushed.
When Miss Ellickson placed his hand on the back of a dining chair, he whispered, “Thanks.”
Bracing his hands on the chair, he willed the trembling to stop. “So, what do we have here?”
Over a deep sigh, he could hear Boone’s lumbering gait coming toward him. Joseph could just see the dog throwing his tail lazily from side to side as he swaggered across the room.
“Oh no, Joseph! Are you going to let that horrid animal sit here while you eat? God only knows where she’s been.” No doubt Julia’s pink lips were pursed tight, her small nose wrinkled in disgust. She never did like Boone and wasn’t shy about saying so. “I don’t see how you can stand having Bongo in your house like you do.”
“Boone,” he corrected, irritated that she could never seem to get his dog’s name right. “And ‘she’s’ a ‘he.’”
“Boone, Bongo, he, she…it matters not to me. The beast is just so uncouth. Mother would surely faint if she could see it in your house. Why, that creature is nearly a horse.”
“He’s a dog, and he’s fine. He minds his manners.”
Lowering himself to the long trestle table, he trailed his fingers along the sturdy walnut’s smooth finish, remembering when he’d crafted the piece. He’d built it, eager for the day when his wife and children would be seated here with him.
Julia clanged silverware against a plate, jerking him out of his reverie and invoking a fast-building sense of dread. That anxiety multiplied by ten as he realized that this would be the first time since his accident that he’d sat down for a meal.
“Everything is all set for you, Joseph. You can eat now.”
He swallowed hard. Clenching his fists in his lap, he wondered what everything was…pork and beans, soup, chicken? He had no idea what she’d laid out or where it was located on the table. Beads of perspiration formed on his brow, his pulse pounded a deafening rhythm in his head.
“I wasn’t planning on joining you, but maybe—”
“No, that’s not necessary,” he quickly cut in.
“Honestly, I did have plans to have tea with Colleen Teller, the senator’s daughter,” she twittered. “Of course, I’d have to go home and change. It would simply be unacceptable if she were to see me wearing my new dress today and then again for the celebration. Don’t you think?”
He offered a hearty nod, thankful she had other plans.
“Well, then, by all means let me see you out, Miss Cranston. You won’t want to be late,” Miss Ellickson clipped off.
“That’s completely unnecessary. I can see myself out.” Julia clutched his hand and leaned closer, her perfume nearly choking him. “Maybe I should stay. What do you think, Joseph?” A whine of regret laced her whispered words. “I suppose I could reschedule with Colleen. Her agenda is busy, but I’m sure—”
“Please, go. Have your lunch with Colleen. I’d rather eat alone.” He braced his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers under his chin. “Miss Ellickson, you can take a dinner break, too. There’s a good diner just down the road—have them put your bill on my tab.”
“I’ll be joining you here. Thank you all the same,” she responded quietly.
Julia’s sharp intake of breath wasn’t lost on Joseph. She grasped his shoulder. “Miss…Miss Ellington—”
“Ellickson.” Joseph shook his head.
Her nails bit into his flesh. “Miss Ellickson, perhaps you didn’t hear Joseph. He said he’d rather dine alone. If you—”
“Julia, I can handle this,” he ground out, disgusted at her steely tone. Although he’d taken her on a few outings in the past two months, he didn’t fancy being treated like some possession of hers. “Miss Ellickson, you’re probably in need of a break. I’m sure I can handle it on my own.”
“I can understand your hesitance, Mr. Drake. Believe me, I do.” Her voice trembled.
Tension chorded his body as he wondered why everyone couldn’t just let him make his own decisions. If he wanted to eat alone, shouldn’t he be afforded that one small courtesy?
“I’m sorry.” Miss Ellickson’s voice was soft and even, coming from the chair to his left. “But I’m here to—to teach you. Not to coddle you.”
Julia withdrew her hand from his shoulder, mumbling as her booted heels clicked loudly across the floor. When she slammed a plate down on the table, he nearly jumped out of his skin.
He swallowed hard, trying to control his mounting frustration. “I didn’t ask you to coddle me, Miss Ellickson.”
With a harrumph, Julia plopped down in a chair across the table from him. “Oh for goodness’s—”
“You’ve made that quite clear,” Miss Ellickson continued as if oblivious to Julia’s presence. “But as with all my students, I’m here to instruct you in how to get along on your own, and that’s what I’m going to do—starting with dinner.”
“Joseph has been eating dinner for twenty-seven years, Miss Eberhard,” Julia informed on a nervous laugh. He could hear her dishing something onto her plate. “He can get along just fine. Can’t you, Joseph?”
“Just drop the subject.” He grasped at his fading calm.
“Fine, I see the way of things.” Julia gave her napkin a swift snap and a puff of air fluffed over to him. “You have never had a problem doing things on your own,” she reminded him, the shrill sound of her voice contrasting sharply with the delicate chorus of birds outside. “I realize that when you were laid up flat on your back you needed assistance. But now—”
“But now, with these bandages on, I still can’t see.” Raising his focus to where she sat directly across from him, he wished he could see, but he couldn’t even open his eyes through the thick bandages. “And there’s a slim chance that my vision might not be what it was.”
He swallowed against the admission. If his sight didn’t fully return, he’d have to find independence as soon as possible or he’d never be able to stomach himself.
“Oh, Joseph, don’t be silly. You’re going to be fine,” Julia dismissed, then took a bite of something that crunched.
Awkwardness flooded his resolve. He could hear Miss Ellickson arranging things on the table, even dishing items onto his plate while he sat rigid as a board, every muscle in his body stiff and unyielding to the internal cry to relax. All he wanted was to be left alone, but Julia was being unusually possessive and Miss Ellickson was intent on doing her job.
A job he didn’t even hire her to do!
“Your plate is in front of you,” Miss Ellickson began, her voice low and measured. “Now, like numbers on a clock face, there’s a thick wheat roll at nine o’clock, mashed potatoes at twelve o’clock, cooked carrots at three o’clock and roast at six o’clock. If you’ll raise your hands to feel for your plate,” she directed, pausing as if waiting for him to follow her lead, but he couldn’t seem to move his hands from where they were tightly fisted in his lap. “You’ll find your fork to the left of your plate, spoon and knife on your napkin to the right. And your glass of grape juice is about three inches to the right of your plate, at two o’clock.”
From across the table, Julia’s sharp scrutiny bore down on him like a locomotive. He tried to ignore it. The aroma rising from the food normally would’ve made his mouth water, but instead his stomach churned. His discomfort could reach a swift end if he insisted they leave, but at this point he was too stubborn to give in.
“Shall we give thanks?” Miss Ellickson asked.
The distinct air of vulnerability in her voice pricked Joseph’s heart, but he quickly brushed it aside as though it were a pesky bug. In spite of his surging anger, he bowed his head as Julia’s utensils clanked to silence against her plate. Truth be told, over the past weeks he’d spent more time telling God what to do than talking with Him or thanking Him. Had God heard his plea for healing? Or had He passed him by for good?
On a long sigh, he began to pray. “Lord, thank You for this meal. Bless the hands that prepared it.” Remembering his sister-in-law’s tenuous health and the certain stress Aaron had to be under, he added, “And be with Ellie and the baby. Keep them safe.”
“Amen,” Miss Ellickson whispered after a long pause.
With a curt nod, he sat in the offending darkness, trying to ignore the daunting insecurity as he struggled for self-control. Pulling his sagging shoulders back, he braced himself, unwilling to look like a helpless excuse for a man—especially in front of Julia.
Crisp, metallic sounds from her silverware sounded against her plate. She hadn’t uttered one word in the past moments, but he knew she must be closely monitoring his every move. Her sharp inspection pierced like tiny shards of glass.
Could he do this? With his head bowed, Joseph tried to picture the things set before him. He slowly slid his hands up to the table, probing for his knife and fork. Once he’d located his utensils, he raised them to the plate.
“Now, when you’ve located your fork and knife—”
“I’ve eaten without help in the past, Miss Ellickson,” he cut in, knowing even as the words formed on his lips that he should just swallow his pride. “And I can do it now.”
Joseph fought to still his trembling hands. As he made a stab for the meat to cut it, the supple chunk seemed to dodge his effort, sliding away from him. His fork fell from his grasp, clanking loudly against his plate.
He couldn’t miss the small gasp Julia gave. “Oh, no, Joseph, you dropped your fork,” she announced loudly.
“Really?” Fumbling for his fork, he put it to the plate again while inside tremors of fury thundered. When he couldn’t locate the piece of meat with his utensils, his agitation increased.
“Here you are, Mr. Drake. The roast is back on your plate,” his teacher spoke evenly.
The roast had flown off his plate?
Steeling himself, he struggled to gather his composure as he repositioned his fork toward the carrots. With intense focus, he tried to recall where she’d said they were—three o’clock or ten o’clock? Framing one side of the plate with a hand, he set his fork to the plate, succinctly stabbing one long spear and cutting it in two. A small sigh of relief passed his lips as he opened wide and directed the carrot in. It brushed his lips, tumbled down his shirt, then fell to the floor with a moist thud.
He gritted his teeth as Boone immediately shifted across the floor and sniffed at the vegetable. Joseph’s breathing came heavy, labored. The loud rushing in his ears grew almost deafening.
“It’s all right.” Miss Ellickson’s tone was low and even.
He slammed his fist on the table to ward her off. He would do this alone or drown in a pool of humiliation.
“If you’ll put your fork to the plate,” she offered, forced patience lacing her words, “and first gauge where the food—”
“I will do it!” Joseph interrupted angrily, acutely aware that not one morsel of food had made it to his mouth yet.
Humiliation ricocheted in his mind like a shotgun blast in an underground cavern. Groping for his knife, his hand careened into his glass of grape juice. It tipped, the glass clinking on the solid wood.
“Oh, my new dress!” Julia yowled, her chair scraping away from the table. “My beautiful new dress! It’s ruined!”
Joseph sucked in a shaky breath. He stood, knocking his chair over with the back of his legs and sending Boone scurrying away, toenails scratching across the floor as the loud crash reverberated throughout the house.
Hearing the frantic sound of Julia wiping at her garment, Joseph brought his hands to his head, threading trembling fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he forced on a broken breath.
“Please don’t worry, Mr. Drake. Accidents happen,” Miss Ellickson responded quietly as she rose and crossed to the sink. “I’ll get it cleaned up.”
He drew quivering fingertips over the bandages covering his eyes, failure’s evil taunt screaming through his thoughts. He was sickened at his stubborn pride. Balling his fists firmly at his sides, he clenched his teeth tight. Even if he couldn’t see, he should be able to make it through a meal.
Simple things were now difficult. Difficult things, seemingly impossible. When he’d been released from bed rest, he thought he’d feel more comfortable, more capable. Instead, he felt more like a prisoner than a free man.
He jerked suddenly at Miss Ellickson’s light touch on his arm. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wondered what you’d like for me to do?”
Julia huffed. “Isn’t it obvious that you’ve already done quite enough? Just look at the mess he’s made,” she hissed. “Poor Joseph obviously isn’t ready for this. I’m certain that you can’t be doing him a bit of good by pushing—”
“Stop!” he growled. “Just leave, now.”
A moment of crushing silence was followed by the whoosh of Julia’s skirts as she walked toward the front door. “I can tell when I’m not wanted,” she spat, her voice laden with unveiled disgust as she stormed out, slamming the front door behind her.
“Mr. Drake? I’m terribly sorry about all of that.” Miss Ellickson slid her hand off his arm. “I’ll understand if you want to call it a day.”
Tilting his head down toward her, he wished he could see her. He just wanted one glimpse. From the moment they’d met this morning, she’d seen him at his worst, with behavior he didn’t even know he was capable of. She’d taken his rude, unyielding responses with a stiff upper lip. Why? Who was this woman who would sacrifice her own comfort and willingly endure the ugliest part of him?
Chapter Three
Unadulterated fear had shown like gaping holes in Mr. Drake’s stony wall of composure. From five years of experience working with the blind, Katie had learned to recognize the sure signs. And she’d never seen such desperation. All morning she’d witnessed it in his tensing jaw, tight fists and grim expression. She was worn out just watching him work so hard to fortify himself against the fear.
She stood for several moments on his porch, her legs weak as she clutched her books to her chest. He’d said that he’d lost his appetite. That he needed some time to think. And she knew when to let up a little. After all, this was all so very new and painful for him.
Breathing deep, she welcomed the soothing west wind filtering through her skirts, cooling her skin. For over three hours she’d remained stalwart in spite of his unyielding behavior, though she’d nearly bit her tongue in two when Miss Julia Cranston had shown up. It wasn’t Katie’s business who that woman was to Mr. Drake, but whatever her relationship, Miss Cranston wasn’t taking into account his vulnerable state. And for that Katie felt fiercely protective.
Compassion for him tugged at her heart. It was clear that this man of strength and self-sufficiency had been dealt a very difficult hand in life. Things were horribly unfamiliar to him. Maybe for now, anyway, he felt like a shell of what he had been.
Still, Katie could see an iron will there—and a fortitude that perhaps he didn’t even realize existed. He was unlike anyone she’d worked with. Decidedly stoic, yet beneath that stony exterior, a vulnerable man, scared to death. And she wanted to do everything she could to give him back his life.
Squaring her shoulders, she struggled to gather her wits before walking the distance back to Uncle Sven and Aunt Marta’s. She’d never hidden her feelings well. No doubt they’d worry if she showed up looking as distraught as she felt.
Brushing wisps of hair from her face, she started down the three steps, but came to an abrupt halt when Mr. Drake’s voice penetrated the solid walnut barrier.
“Why? Why me?” he choked out, his halting footsteps shuffling from the area of the kitchen where she’d left him, toward the front room. “How could you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Mr. Drake’s voice rose in volume, twisting her heart with its mournful, almost terrorized sound. “Why, God? Why me? You have to let me see again!”
His deep, raw cry sent shivers down her spine and a piercing sword to her heart. When she heard him knock something over, her breath caught in her chest.
“Oh, God! You—promised!” Heaving sobs broke his words.
A heavy object slammed against the door.
Swallowing hard, she blinked back hot tears stinging her eyes. She could try to comfort him right now, but he’d reject it. She could do everything she knew to aid him in gaining physical freedom, but only God could heal his wounded heart.
Lifting a trembling finger to her face, she swiped a tear sliding down her cheek as she remembered his awkwardness this noon when he’d prayed. She didn’t need eyes to see that his relationship with God was being sorely tested. How well she knew that reality—her own trust in God had been pulled up painfully short in the past year.
“God, please help him,” she whispered. “Help me.”
From behind the door, Mr. Drake’s breathing came in audible gasps. “God, You pr-promised you wouldn’t forsake Your own!”
“Go ahead, Joe-boy. Hit me as hard as you can,” Aaron provoked, his words sounding more like he was offering to loan Joseph his boots, rather than his face.
“Hit all three of us till you can’t pull another punch if it makes you feel better,” Ben added in complete earnestness. “You need to do something. You’re about ready to explode.”
Joseph balled his fists and sucked in a slow breath, trying to hold his mounting frustration at bay. Since yesterday he’d felt like a tightly coiled spring begging for release. The reality of his inadequacy had hit him full force, and since then he’d been fighting just to stay clear of the bitter rage that nipped at his heels. In the past if he were angry, he might’ve laid a well-aimed ax to logs, splitting wood till he dropped, but now he couldn’t even seem to make it around his house without knocking something over or bumping into a wall.
Last night he’d successfully warded off his brothers when they’d shown up on his doorstep. But this morning they wouldn’t be put off. For the past thirty minutes Ben, Aaron and Zach had been trying to get him to talk about yesterday. They’d said that Miss Ellickson wouldn’t divulge a thing, but that Julia had given away plenty. She’d been loose-lipped all over town.
If he needed a reason to be mad, that definitely could’ve been it, but for some reason he didn’t really give a coyote’s hide. Whatever she’d said was probably true. He could hardly blame her for spouting off. Had he insisted that he be left alone to eat his meal, then she wouldn’t have had a thing to talk about.
Julia’s stories were to his benefit anyway. His blessed privacy would be ensured this way. No one would brave visiting if they knew how uncomfortable they’d be.
“Come on, Joe-boy, swing at one of us,” Aaron urged. “We’re standing right in front of you.”
“This is your chance, big brother,” came Zach’s low voice. At twenty, he was the youngest of the Drake brothers and had been striving to sow something other than wild oats. “I reckon you’ve probably been wantin’ to do this to me more than a time or two.”
“Ha! Are you giving us the opportunity, too?” Aaron guffawed. “Line on up, boys! Maybe we could knock some sense into Zach—keep him from making any more dirt-poor choices.”
Joseph could hear a scuffle in front of him and figured that Aaron was probably ruffling Zach’s hair or faking a punch. Like a couple of playful bear cubs, they were always messing around, but he knew it wouldn’t amount to much. Zach had made some bad decisions—decisions that had almost landed him in jail. They were just glad he was finally holding down a job as a ranch hand, and hadn’t gone the way of the third brother, Max, who’d taken off eight years ago with his inheritance and then some, and was living on the run.
“You two yahoos cut the bantering! We’re not here about Zach, we’re here about Joseph,” came Ben’s firm warning. “Come on, Joseph. We’re not kidding. Let loose—it’ll do you good.”
Joseph gave a low growl. “Would you three knock it off?”
Shaking his head, he pushed between them and with hands outstretched and clumsy, shuffling steps made his way to the dining table. He grasped the top rung of a chair, leaning heavily into it. “You might as well stop this charade. I’m not going to hit any of you. Never have, never will.”
Aaron came to stand beside him. “Maybe you need to haul out and hit us. We know you enough to see that you’re about ready to blow. I’ve never seen you so dog-gone angry.”
“I’m not allowed to be angry?” His jaw muscles tensed.
“No. It’s not that,” Aaron answered. “We can’t blame you at all for being angry. Can we, Ben?”
“Absolutely not.” Ben’s long strides brought him to flank Joseph’s other side, followed by Zach. “You’ve been calm and collected since your accident—handling things better than most people would. Believe me, I’ve seen folks go through far less, only with a mountain of ill-tempered attitude. I’m just glad to see you finally showing some kind of emotion.”
Pushing up to his full height, Joseph raked his fingers through his hair. “Well, then, what is it? Would you do me a favor and clue me in on what you’re getting at here, because so far you’re not making a lick of sense.”
After a long moment of silence Aaron spoke up. “Flat out, Joseph…we’re worried.”
“Worried? About what?” Shoving his hands on his hips, he shook his head. “If anyone should be worried here, it’s me. The three of you are acting like you just got kicked in the head by a horse.” Waving his hand in the air, he yelled, “Quick! Get a doctor!” Then he knocked the side of his head with his hand. “Oh wait! You are the doctor.”
“Don’t try to dodge the attention like you always do,” Ben retorted, clearing his throat. “Now listen, we’re here, in part, because we’re worried about Miss Ellickson.”
He jammed his hands on his hips and furrowed his brow. “Miss Ellickson?”
Just thinking about the mess he’d made of dinner yesterday sent shame, thick as mud, coursing through his veins. But then like a flag of warning, concern for Miss Ellickson rose inside him. “What about Miss Ellickson? Has something happened?”
“She’ll be here any minute now. And Ben, Zach and I—we’re here to make sure you plan on being civil to her.”
He gave a short harrumph. “You don’t think I will?”
“I don’t know. You tell me,” Ben answered in a no-nonsense tone. “Like I said yesterday, you’ve always been a gentleman in the past, but as angry as you are, we don’t want you scaring her off. She’s come a long way to work with you.”
Another day with her definitely didn’t sit well with him. Not at all. Last night he’d barely gotten a wink of sleep thinking about her. He’d been bracing himself for her return and now here his brothers were, showing more concern for her than loyalty to him.
He felt trapped. Trapped in his home. Trapped in his body. Trapped in a fear so unfamiliar.
Taunting disorientation blanketed him and he struggled to steady himself against the unnerving effects. “What would make you think that I’m going to scare her off, anyway?”
Ben slid a chair over the hardwood floor and sat down with a weighted thud, Zach and Aaron following his move. “Oh, you wouldn’t intentionally do that—I don’t think, anyway. But believe me, you can be intimidating even when you’re not angry.”
“Yeah. It’s like the Red Sea parting every time you walk through a crowd,” Aaron quipped with a chuckle. “Wish I had that effect.”
Joseph tightened his grip on the chair. “I’m not the one who invited her here. When you mentioned the idea in the first place, I made it clear how I felt. But then you showed up with her in tow, pushing me into this whole thing. I went through with it yesterday and I’ll do the same again today, but I’m telling you, I’m just going through the motions.”
When Aaron reached over and grabbed Joseph’s arm, Joseph flinched at the unexpected touch. His brothers meant well—Ben had gone above and beyond in his care of Joseph. Aaron had been carrying twice his usual load in the shop, and Zach had risked losing his tenuous position as a ranch hand to help out. They were doing so much, but nothing they could do right now would make him feel better. True, he could batter them bloody, but somehow he knew it wouldn’t touch the strange bitterness and pain that had settled deep in his heart.
Ben squeezed Joseph’s forearm. “You don’t have to like the training and you don’t even have to like Miss Ellickson. All we’re asking is that you be civil to her and give her a chance.”
Oh, he’d give her a chance all right. He’d suffer through two more weeks of this. She might even show him something that could make the time bearable. But if he had his way, she’d be gone after he returned from Denver to see the doctor. It didn’t matter where she went—she could even stay in Boulder for all he cared—he just didn’t want to need her.
Joseph lowered himself to a chair, set on hiding his raw emotions from his brothers. “All I can say is that I hope she’s not disappointed when I don’t need her after all. Seems like an awful long way to travel to work for only a couple of weeks.”
When he heard Ben clear his throat, his pulse began a rapid beat in his ears. He could imagine what Ben would say next, so he quickly added, “And you can breathe easy. You have my word…I’ll be on my best behavior. I’ll be a veritable welcome wagon from here on out.”
Mr. Drake stood in front of Katie, his tall, tightly muscled frame filling the doorway. “Come in.”
Come in? Katie silently mouthed as she peered up at him to see one of his hands hooked over the top of the door, the other gesturing for her to enter. Since yesterday she’d prepared for a goodbye fare-thee-well, sure that he would refuse further training, but now he’d invited her to—to come in?
She’d prayed all night long that he wouldn’t give up, and if he did, she’d try to persuade him otherwise. Terrified of going home, she needed a reason to stay here in Colorado. But also, after meeting Mr. Drake yesterday, she wanted desperately to help him find freedom again.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice steadier than she felt.
With an armload of books, she squeezed by him, acutely aware of his solid form so near hers. When she removed her pale straw bonnet and hung it on a coat hook, her attention was drawn to the floor where a Bible lay sprawled open. Her breath caught as she remembered hearing something crash against the door yesterday. She tenderly scooped up the Bible, its cover worn with the passage of time and its pages yellowed and frayed from use. Carefully cradling it against her chest with the other books, Katie steadied her wavering emotions. “Your Bible. You must have dropped it.”
Without a word, he quietly latched the door.
“I’ll just put it over here on the mantel for you.” After she’d laid it on the beautifully crafted mantel, she turned and noticed Boone lying beside one of the wingback chairs. “Well, good morning, Boone. How are you this fine morning?” Kneeling beside his massive head, she held out her hand to him.
Katie smiled as he pressed his big, wet nose into her palm and stared up at her with expressive brown eyes. After giving her a wet kiss, he flopped his head down on the wood floor with a dull thud. She smoothed the unruly hair on top of his head. “I certainly hope this means we’re on friendly terms.”
Still smiling, she rose and returned to where she’d left Mr. Drake standing. She nervously fingered the row of silver buttons trailing down her high-necked white blouse. “And how are you today, Mr. Drake? Are we on friendly terms, too?”
He pushed away from the door, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. “I suppose you were wondering if I’d call it off?”
“To be perfectly candid, the thought had crossed my mind.” Threading her fingers together in front of her, she added, “I was very much hoping you would continue with the training.”
He jammed his hands into his pockets, his jaw muscle ticking. “I don’t quit things that easily, but even if I did, I have three brothers holding my feet to the fire.”
“They must care a great deal.”
When he just nodded, she walked to the kitchen where the bold scent of fresh coffee met her squarely. Setting her books on the table, she smoothed her pale yellow cotton skirt. “Smells like you made coffee. Do you mind if I help myself?”
“Go right ahead.” He shuffled to the table, his hands splayed in front of him. “My brothers were over earlier this morning and Ben made a pot.” Reaching for a chair, he added, “I’m warning you, he makes it strong enough to wake the dead.”
“Perfect. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I must not be used to my new surroundings yet,” she half lied. In truth she’d lain awake thinking of how she could best help him.
And how she could keep this job.
She couldn’t bear the thought of going home already—too many dark clouds threatened on the horizon there. Here, she had hope that the sun’s warmth would shine on her face again. With or without a job her aunt and uncle would welcome her to stay, but Katie would never think to impose on their goodness overly long, especially if she wasn’t earning her keep.
“Mr. Drake, could I get you a cup, too?”
He shifted nervously, then reached out to his adorable dog who sauntered up beside him, his big, furry feet sweeping across the wood floor as though he wore heavy boots. “Sure. Thanks.”
As she scanned the cupboard shelves for two mugs, she wondered what had come over Mr. Drake. The contempt he’d readily shown yesterday was barely visible today—in fact, she might even go so far as to say that he was congenial.
Spotting a row of mugs on the third shelf, she said, “They’re a little out of reach.”
He stood, quirking one brow. “What?”
“The mugs… I’m not tall enough to reach them.”
Lifting his head in silent recognition, he moved toward her, his movements jerky and uncertain. When he’d pulled them from the shelf, he turned, almost knocking into her.
“Here you are,” he said, holding the mugs out to her.
Katie squeezed back against the counter as he towered over her. An eerie chill crept up her spine as she struggled to block out the haunting memories that assaulted her. But the way Mr. Drake stood over her, trapping her and closing her in like he was, she wanted to scream and escape from the suffocating confinement.
Gulping back the bile that rose in her throat, she snatched the mugs from him with trembling hands. “Thank you.”
She slipped around him and crossed to the stove. As she steadied her hands enough to pour the steaming liquid, she willed her heart to stop pounding. Setting the pot back on the burner, her brow beaded with a cold sweat and her vision narrowed. She fought to even out her short gasping breaths, clutching the stove handle as though it were some lifeline.
Katie reminded herself over and over that he was not Frank Fowler, the man who’d set into motion a year of turmoil that she could share with no one. She’d had to carry the burden alone and at times it threatened to shatter her under its weight.
Frantically grasping for some thread of hope, she struggled to drag herself away from the edge of despair. Like a faint, saving call, she could hear a comforting voice, reminding herself that she was safe now. Hundreds of miles away from Fowler and from the wicked sneer that would stretch across his face each time he’d see her.
Squeezing her eyes shut against the images, she felt her stomach tense. She’d thought that putting distance between herself and home would eliminate moments like this, but the miles had done nothing. The memories were stronger than ever. The fear, consuming. The images had struck with the force of a landslide, unearthing every raw emotion she’d attempted to bury.
“Miss Ellickson?” Mr. Drake’s tentative voice broke through her swirling thoughts.
Rising above the fray of images barraging her mind, Katie slowly spun back around. “Here you are.” Her voice was thin and strained. Her hands still quivered as she set down the cups of coffee. “Here’s your coffee—be careful, it’s hot.”
She lightly grasped his hands and directed them to the stone mug. His hands, large and work-worn in hers, felt strong enough to ward off any enemy, yet gentle enough to soothe a baby.
And brought an immediate, tangible calm to Katie.
The fear that had mounted so quickly, rocking her off kilter, dispelled just as fast. A shaky sigh escaped her lips.
“Miss Ellickson?” His brow furrowed. “Are you all right?”
Sinking into a seat across from him, she took a slow sip of coffee. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? I’d get you something to eat,” he said, gesturing toward the cupboards, “but I’m not sure of what’s here anymore. If you can find something…”
“Thank you, but Aunt Marta made sure I ate this morning,” she managed, cupping her hands around the warm mug and staring at him from over the rim. She noticed, for the first time, how his deep chestnut hair hung in playful waves across the white bandages on his forehead, and the way a stubborn cowlick kicked a thick clutch of hair to the side, giving him an innocent look.
Something about him was so captivating, intriguing, almost demanding of her attention. Was it the confidence he exuded in spite of his fear? Was it the way he filled the room with his strong, quiet presence? Or was it his undeniable good looks?
Eager to distract her thoughts, she looked away, noticing a long cane leaning in the corner. She hadn’t seen it there yesterday, but then with all of the commotion she easily could have missed it. “I see you have a cane?”
When he paused, she couldn’t miss the way he turned his head away from the object as though it were an offending image in his home. “Ben brought it by this morning.”
Her heart pulled tight. “Well, if you’re up to it, maybe the best use of our time today would be to help you get more comfortable around your home. We’ll count out steps between rooms and furniture—that sort of thing.”
Bowing his head, he fingered the edge of the mug. “So the walls and furniture don’t find me first?”
“Exactly.”
He raised his chin. “We might as well get it over with.”
Although resignation hung heavy in his voice, Katie could hardly believe he’d so readily agreed. She stared for a long moment, not quite sure how to take his cooperative agreement.
“You’re awfully quiet. Are you still there?” He traced his fingertips slowly over the table’s smooth surface.
Katie shook off her surprise, then pushed up from the table. “I’m sorry. I apologize if my mind is elsewhere this morning.”
Nodding, he rose from the table.
“We’ll begin at your front door, counting steps from there first. You can use the cane for—”
“For firewood, maybe.” He threw a scowl her way, then shuffled toward the door.
“Well, now, that’s not a very agreeable thing to say,” she threw back at him.
“That’s because I’m not feeling overly compliant, Miss Ellickson.” He leaned a shoulder against the door. “At least not as far as that thing goes.”
“Using that thing might prevent you from a mishap.” She perched her hands on her hips, surprised and strangely relieved at his show of stubbornness. “Back at the school we liken a cane to eyes. It will help you see where you’re going.”
He gave a sarcastic laugh. “Well, we’re not at the school and I don’t plan on being this way forever, thank you.”
Crossing her arms at her chest, she eyed him. “Stubborn, aren’t you?”
Her heart squeezed at his insistence that things were going to change for him. She hoped, for his sake, they would.
He raised his chin the slightest bit. “So I’ve been told.”
“Then you can take my elbow, like we did yesterday. It’s the preferred way to navigate as opposed to holding one’s hand or being pushed along. But if you use the cane, as well,” she added, hoping to appeal to his greater sense of reason, “you’ll be able to tell what might be lying in your path.”
“No, thanks.” His curt response and the way his jaw tensed left her void of any argument.
“Why don’t you tell me about the layout of your home? Don’t be vague about where your furniture is located, so that you’ll have a clear picture in your mind.”
With a slow exhale, he made a detailed description, his tone reminiscent at times as he described his home to a T.
“Perfect. Now, try to relax and walk at a normal pace and I’ll match your stride.” When she gently guided his hand to her arm, a tingling warmed her skin. She fought to ignore the sensation, resolute in her desire to remain professional. “I’ll do the counting and make sure you don’t run into anything.”
He tensed beside her, his grip tightening slightly. “All right. But I’ll warn you that I’m a little shaky on this.”
“You’ll do fine. Trust your instincts. If you’re aware, you should be able to sense when something is in your way.”
Cautiously he took a step while she began counting. Then with each step following, his grip tightened as though she alone kept him from falling off a steep precipice. His hand trembled. His breathing grew shallow.
At eighteen steps and just inches from the back door, she stopped. “Now, use your hand that is outstretched to see how close you are.”
Perspiration beaded above his full lips. With one hand he clutched her arm, with the other he tentatively reached out, groping for the unseen. When his trembling fingers brushed against the wall, he exhaled a broken sigh.
Covering his hand at her elbow, her heart squeezed at seeing how much this had cost him. She peered up at Mr. Drake, taking in the stark change in his demeanor from just moments ago, when stubbornness waved like a proud battalion flag, to now, when raw fear weighed his shoulders and head down low.
She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Very well done. Your pace was just fine.”
He slid quivering fingers over his lips, then raised a fist to his bandaged eyes. “You’d think I could make it across the room without breaking a sweat,” he ground out. “I may as well have been scaling a mountain.”
“Don’t be discouraged.” She squeezed his hand. “It takes time getting used to all of this.”
“It’s my own home. I should be able to walk across the room without trembling in my boots.”
“You’re doing just fine—especially since you’ve only been up for a couple of days.” She turned to face him. “Taking everything into account, you’re doing very well.”
His face softened some, the corner of his lips lifting slightly. “You’re Little Miss Sunshine, aren’t you?”
A warm blush crept up her cheeks. She smiled at his comment, surprised once again by his congeniality. “Better that than gloomy.”
“Far as I can tell, you could never be accused of that,” he replied, his hands still trembling some.
“There’s a bright side to everything.”
“What could be positive about this?” He gestured to his bandaged eyes.
Hugging her arms to her chest, she stared at him, the way he wore frustration like an unwanted old coat, and desperation like an acquaintance of ill repute. “You’re right, Mr. Drake. Your injury is not something easily reckoned with. Not having your sight is certainly nothing short of difficult, and I’m sure you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Even an enemy.” Katie tried to steady the quiver in her voice. “But even as uncertain as things are right now, you can focus on where you’ve been or on where you’re going.”
His lips formed a tight, distressed line. “I wish I could. But taking a step forward when I can’t see where I’m going…it scares me to death.”
At his admission, sadness rose within Katie. She was shocked at the tiniest crack he’d allowed into himself, an opening that gave a glimpse into his silent battle.
Threading her fingers together in front of her, she searched for the right words. “I know this isn’t easy. In fact, I’m not sure how I could face such a thing. If you don’t regain your sight, there’ll be challenges. It won’t be easy, but I promise you it will be rewarding.” Katie gathered a bit more boldness, then added, “And if you’ll allow me, I’ll be here beside you to help you find your way to the other side.”
Chapter Four
Embarrassed once again, Joseph’s face flamed hot. He was sure he’d suffered more humiliation in the past five days than he had his entire life.
He bit back a groan, trying to ignore his frustration. Having worked with Miss Ellickson for almost a week, why was he having such a hard time doing a simple task like pouring water from a pitcher? If he didn’t fully regain his vision, how would he ever be able to work in the shop again, handling sharp tools?
“Here, let me help you,” Miss Ellickson offered, the quiet calm in her voice beckoning him like a peaceful stream. “Sometimes trying too hard makes things more difficult. Now, lightly grasp the glass like this.” She gently positioned his fingers around the glass, her touch soft and soothing. As she slipped his forefinger at the last knuckle over the rim, she said, “Don’t hold too tight. Keep a light touch. Remember how that feels and now find the pitcher.”
Deeply concentrating, he was determined not to spill again as he slid a hand along the counter to find the pitcher. When his fingers connected with the stone pitcher, he noticed how it was beaded with perspiration from the hot August day.
“Got it,” he confirmed.
Once he’d painstakingly set the lip of the pitcher over the rim of the glass, he poured the water. And when the cool liquid reached his finger, he pulled the pitcher back and sighed.
“There you go, that was perfect! Not one drop spilled.” The reassurance in her voice brightened his gruff mood enough that he even relaxed a little. “See? You can do it.”
He angled his head down to Katie. “Thanks, Sunshine.” Joseph smiled at her, hoping that she noticed, because so far this week it seemed as if all he’d done was scowl. In turn, she’d never once gotten impatient or cross with him. “Always the encourager, aren’t you?”
“You deserve it. You’re working very hard.”
When she gave his hand a light squeeze, he couldn’t help but wonder what she looked like. “You know, I figure that if I was a cat, I’d be dead.”
“What?” she asked on a laugh.
“I’d be dead from curiosity.” Raising his brows, he took one step closer to her. “You see, Miss Ellickson, you’re the only new person I’ve met since my accident. And your appearance—I mean the way you look—is still a mystery to me.”
The air seemed to grow warm and thick between them. His entire being hummed in full awareness of her presence beside him.
“Good thing you’re not a cat, then,” she finally responded, her voice sounding tight, strained.
Joseph gave an almost imperceptible nod, wishing that his brothers would indulge him with a few words about her physical appearance. They’d sure been vocal about him treating her well, and being a man of his word, he’d been on his best behavior. Although at this point he didn’t really need encouragement to do that—Miss Ellickson was easy to like.
He decided that when he returned from Denver with his vision intact, she was the first person he wanted to lay eyes on. If her appearance mirrored at all what he’d grown to understand of her character, he was sure she’d be beautiful.
Wouldn’t that be the irony of it all…a beautiful woman watching him stumble through simple things.
Leaning back against the counter, he momentarily cringed. “So, what next, Sunshine?”
When she stifled a laugh, his lips curved into a smile again. For some reason, the sound of her light laughter warmed his heart and made him want to make her smile again.
“Is this your name for me? Sunshine?”
“If the shoe fits.” He recalled different moments throughout the week when her encouragement had been the balm he’d needed to keep going. To keep moving forward toward normalcy, however meager it was compared to independence.
“You’re very kind, but I hardly think I warrant anything quite so grand.” He could hear her gathering some papers on the table.
Four steps and Joseph had crossed to the table, noticing for the first time how much less halting his footsteps sounded compared to just a few days ago. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
Unbidden, a deep fondness for her rose within him, and that unnerved him. Because somewhere along the line he’d missed how attached he was becoming to her. Was it because she’d given him hope at a time when things were bleak? Was it because she was so selfless in her work with him? It was just a job for her, wasn’t it? Maybe she had this effect on other students, too.
Or was it something more?
If so, he’d have to guard himself. She didn’t deserve his strained indifference, but he couldn’t let himself grow any fonder of her. If he didn’t regain his sight, his future as a single man would be irrevocably sealed because he wasn’t about to burden anyone with his blindness.
Her voice finally broke through the raw, unsettling revelation. “Well, Mr. Drake, why don’t we—”
“If it’s all right with you, would you mind calling me Joseph?” Guarding himself or not, he couldn’t stand another day of being addressed as Mr. Drake. He jammed his hands into his pockets and stood tall. “Mr. Drake is, well, it’s just too formal for my liking.”
She paused for a brief moment. “All right, then. Joseph it is—if you’ll call me Katie.”
Or Sunshine, he thought, helpless to keep his emotions from running away.
If Joseph had been planted on the pulpit with flowers growing out of his Sunday clothes, he wouldn’t have felt more conspicuous than he did right now.
He shifted uncomfortably in the wooden pew, wishing he’d just ignored Ben’s challenge for him to attend church. Each step away from his cocooned world and nearer the church building had brought him closer to people’s stares, even if he couldn’t see them. Having arrived a few minutes before the service started, he couldn’t avoid being a sideshow for curious onlookers or a conversation piece walking in with a bandage wrapped around his head.
He sat stock straight in the second row of pews, the back of the bench hitting well below his shoulder blades. Even though Ben’s tall frame was close to him and he’d kept a steady flow of whispered small talk going since they’d sat down, Joseph might as well have been alone. Inky darkness seemed to enfold him, isolating him in a room crowded with friends and acquaintances.
He shrugged off his uncertainty as faint comments regarding his attendance wafted to his ears. Joseph gritted his teeth. There was certainly nothing wrong with his hearing.
As much as he wanted to remain inconspicuous, he’d always seemed to attract attention in a room, especially that of women. It sure wasn’t something he set out to do. Julia had been no different. She’d sidled up to him like moss on a log as soon as she’d met him. But since his accident, certain little things, like her high-pitched voice, grated on his nerves.
Thoughts of seeing her again settled on him like cold rain. She’d not stopped by since that first day he’d worked with Katie, and Joseph wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t needed to see Julia that day to know that she was madder than a hornet. He could hear it in her sharp tone, the swish of her skirts and the brisk clip of her heels.
A few times when he lay awake listening to all the sounds of the night, he’d think about his relationship with her. Would she want to see him again if he didn’t gain back total sight? And sight or no, did he even want to pursue anything other than friendship with her? He just couldn’t ignore how ill at ease he’d felt with Julia in the last three weeks.
When he’d first met her, he’d been intrigued by her vivacious, flamboyant ways. Maybe it was an eastern air about her, or maybe it was just Julia. Whatever the case, it was as though he could see what she was really like, now that he couldn’t see her. And he wasn’t sure that he liked what he saw.
Shrugging off his glum musings, he focused on the sun’s warmth pouring through the row of tall windows to his left. Thoughts of Katie filtered into his mind, spreading calm through him like warm honey. He couldn’t deny that he missed her presence by his side today. She’d given him a tangible confidence in moving about his home, eating without incident and even doing some cooking.
Was it her expertise she’d been so eager to give him that made him feel alive again? Or was it something more?
Katie’s heart clenched tight inside her chest when the pastor spoke in his sermon about trusting God. Like a broken-down wagon ransacked along a trail, she was almost empty of trust. Could she ever get beyond feeling like she alone must protect herself? It seemed as though God hadn’t protected her, but instead had allowed the vilest of things to happen to her—and by a man who claimed to serve God!
She’d trusted and been betrayed. Offered goodwill and been preyed upon. She’d been wounded to her core and endured it alone in shame for all of these months.
When Uncle Sven had wired her about coming out here, she’d jumped at the chance to leave Iowa—leave her past behind. And after meeting Joseph, she knew she’d made the right decision.
As the service concluded with a familiar hymn, Katie rose from the pew and stood beside Ellie and Aaron. She felt a pull at her heart, thankful for the quick friendship that had developed with Ellie. From the moment she’d met the young woman a week ago, they’d bonded like blood sisters.
Although Katie joined in the hymn, her focus was constantly drawn to Joseph. He stood taller than those around him, his chestnut waves stirring in the warm breeze that blew through the tall windows. His shoulders impressed her with their broad and sturdy strength. On occasion she even glimpsed the resolute set of his jawline.
The pastor’s voice finally broke her reverie. “I want to remind everyone of the Glory Days celebration in three weeks. Mrs. Duncan is in charge of it again this year,” he announced, gesturing to the round-faced woman who stood waving to the congregation as though she were on parade. “So, if you’d like to volunteer, talk with her after the service.”
Katie sensed an excitement stirring in the room as the parishioners began filing out of the white clapboard church.
Edging her way out to the narrow aisle, she glanced at Joseph one last time and her stomach dropped. Miss Julia Cranston stood gazing up at him, her silky dark tresses and striking smile punctuating the room with icy elegance.
A stab of protectiveness shot through Katie’s heart. Was Miss Cranston saying thoughtless things yet again? Katie couldn’t imagine that the woman set out to be hurtful, but some people just had a knack for saying the wrong things.
Watching the interaction, she wanted to shove her way between the young beauty and Joseph, but she restrained herself. Clutching the pew in front of her, she felt almost giddy when the woman gave up with a shrug after just a few moments.
Inordinately relieved, Katie exited the church with Ellie.
“Did you see how Ethan Hofmann looked at you, Katie?” Ellie inquired, her cheeks flushed pink, matching the tiny rosebuds dotting her simple white cotton dress.
Katie stopped at the bottom of the steps, waiting for Ellie to catch her breath. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Who’s Ethan…Hofmann?”
Ellie’s hands went to her stomach and gently held the swell. “Ethan Hofmann. The blacksmith’s son. He was sitting to your right, several rows up, and he spent the entire service staring back at you.” Her crystal blue eyes grew wide. “His neck will be giving him fits tomorrow—and it serves him right!”
An icy quiver traveled down Katie’s spine. Over the past year, she’d received bone-chilling stares in her church back home. It was almost as though Frank Fowler, a well-respected deacon, innately knew when no one was looking, when his leering gaze and snapping black eyes wouldn’t set gossipy lips flapping.
She pushed aside the unwelcome memories and gave a weak laugh. “I don’t even know the man, Ellie.”
“That young man didn’t even have the decency to hide his infatuation. He was way too bold, if you ask me,” Ellie insisted as she steadily beelined for a towering pine tree, its tall, weighted branches stretching wide. Cautiously sidestepping exposed roots, she turned and leaned heavily against the trunk, her cheeks flushed as though she’d just walked miles.
“Miss Ellickson, is my wife fussing over you like an old mother hen?” Aaron teased from behind her.
She turned to see an amused, boyish grin plastered across Aaron’s face. Bowing her head, she took in the invigorating scent of fresh pine needles beneath her feet. “She’s just keeping a watchful eye on things.”
“I’m not the only one keeping an eye on things.” Ellie hooked an arm through her husband’s, snuggling up next to him. “Darling, you’re going to have to speak with Ethan Hofmann. He’s acting like a foolish schoolboy. He could hardly take his eyes off Katie during church.” When she hooked Katie’s arm also, Katie couldn’t help but smile.
Aaron winked at her as he patted his wife’s hand. “I’m sure Katie can take care of herself.”
Katie swallowed hard and schooled her expression. Had Aaron known how brutally untrue those words really were he never would’ve said them. She’d tried to fight Frank Fowler off, but her meager five feet four inches was no match to Frank’s size and his evil determination.
“But if you ever do need help or have any concerns, Katie, just let Ben, Zach or me know. Joseph, too. He may not be able to see right now, but he’s always had a way of bringing order to things without bruising a single knuckle. People around these parts think twice about crossing him.”
Ellie sighed, slumping her shoulders. “Well, I still think you should talk with Ethan about this. After all, Katie’s a young, beautiful unmarried woman. The single men around here seem to lose all common sense when it comes to someone like her.”
Giving Ellie’s hand a warm squeeze, Katie pulled away. “It’s fine. I didn’t notice the man.”
That was true. She hadn’t noticed him because she couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Joseph.
Glancing momentarily back at the church, she spotted him standing alone, and her heartbeat quickened inside her chest.
“Ellie-girl, I think you’ve about worn yourself out for one day,” Aaron cautioned in a most gentle and loving way. “I’m gonna get you back home where you can rest. And don’t you go arguing with me either.” Katie turned to see Aaron wrap an arm around his wife’s slight shoulders, then gently settled her back against the tree. “Stay here while I check on Joseph, then we’ll be on our way.”
“I’d be glad to do that,” Katie offered, noticing, too, how Ellie appeared nearly spent. Her face was flushed and her brow beaded with perspiration. “Really. It’s no trouble at all.”
“Are you sure? I just want to make sure he’s all right.” Aaron glanced around the churchyard. “I thought Ben would be out here by now.”
Katie gave Ellie a quick hug, then turned to Aaron. “Just get Ellie home. I’ll check in with Joseph.”
“Good enough.” Aaron nodded.
“We’ll have you out for supper some night this week,” Ellie offered as her husband swept her up in his arms. She hooked her arms around her Aaron’s neck, her laughter resounding like a bird’s joyous spring song as he carried her toward their wagon.
Smiling, Katie waved. “I’ll look forward to that.”
Walking toward Joseph, she stared through a shimmer of tears, wishing that she, too, could know that kind of love.
But who would ever want her the way she was…used?
That horrifying reality never seemed to lose its sharp sting. Her heart clenched with overwhelming sadness, but she couldn’t give in to it.
Ignoring the old familiar dirge, she glanced up to see Joseph sitting on the steps, his hands clasped in a tight ball between his knees. He was probably trying not to be noticed, but there was nothing inconspicuous about him. Like honey to a bee, he drew every bit of her attention with his commanding, masculine build encased in a stark white shirt and dark bronze britches, and his chestnut hair hanging loosely about his head. She barely took notice of the air of discontent tainting his features.
“Good morning, Joseph.” She slowed to a stop in front of him. “It’s a splendid morning, isn’t it?”
“Miss Ellickson?” He stood and clung to the railing.
“Thought you could get rid of me for the weekend, did you?”
His face relaxed ever so slightly as he slid his hands off the rail and tucked them in his pockets. “Well, not exactly. I just didn’t know you were here this morning, that’s all.”
“I was sitting in the back with Ellie, Aaron and my aunt and uncle.”
“Oh.” Was that a tinge of disappointment she heard in his voice? “I—I was sitting with Ben.”
“Yes. I noticed. Are you still waiting for him?” She briefly scanned the yard for Ben.
“Actually I was hoping to find Aaron. Ben’s inside meeting with Mrs. Duncan about the upcoming celebration. He said it might be a while, so I told him I’d get Aaron to walk me home. Or Zach if I can round him up.”
Katie hugged her arms to her chest. “Ellie wasn’t feeling well, so Aaron took her home. But if you don’t mind, I could walk with you.”
He shook his head. “No, that’s all right. You don’t need to do that on your day off.”
“It’s no problem at all. I’d be glad to walk with you. Besides, it’s such a beautiful day.” Holding her elbow out in front of him, she offered, “Here’s my arm. You just set the pace.” When he reached out and found her arm, his touch sent stirring warmth through her.
He started forward at a leisurely pace. “It galls me how tired I am from just this one outing.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It takes a great deal of mental energy to do what you’ve done today.”
“Well, I can tell you one thing, Tuesday of next week can’t come fast enough. When I get these bandages off and can see again, I doubt I’ll close my eyes for a week straight.”
She hoped that he was right. That he would see again.
Noticing the curious stares of a few of the church folks who still lingered on the grounds, she asked, “You don’t think people will talk, do you?” She stepped around a bed of fragrant lavender. “I mean, with me walking you home?”
He came to a stop and tilted his head down at her. “I’m sure that by now they’re aware that you’re my instructor. Word gets around fast here. But if it’s uncomfortable for you, I could just wait for Ben.”
“Oh, no,” she said, a little too eagerly. “I mean, of course it’s not uncomfortable.”
With a smile tipping the corners of his mouth, he nodded, then continued an even stroll toward his home.
“Joseph. Katie, wait up!” a voice called from behind them.
Katie turned to see Ben jogging toward them.
“Sorry about leaving you stranded.” Ben clapped Joseph on the arm and pulled in a long breath. “I got tied up with Mrs. Duncan and you know how that can go. Pastor Winters almost paid a hefty ransom to free me. At the rate she’s going, you’d think she was planning a presidential inauguration.”
“Mrs. Duncan isn’t a woman to miss details,” Joseph said, leaning slightly toward Katie.
“That’s very diplomatic of you, Joseph. Personally, I’d rather strain at gnats all day than iron out details with that woman.” Ben gave a wide-eyed look. “I hope you’re in for a fast walk, Joseph, because I’ve got to hightail it out to the Randalls’ place. Jeb laid an ill-aimed ax to his leg yesterday and I just got word that it’s not looking too good.”
Katie winced. “That sounds bad.”
“When I left him late last night I said I’d be back later this afternoon, but I’d feel better if I got out there as soon as I can. Besides that, I’ve just acquired a couple of stray kittens that showed up in my barn yesterday.”
“Your newest four-legged patients?” Joseph asked.
“Yep. And they’re in need of round-the-clock attention right now. I have them bedded down in a crate beside my bed.”
Joseph smiled and focused down at her. “Ben’s always taking in strays and doctoring them back to health.”
“Aww…”
“I can’t help it. They just show up.”
“That’s so sweet of you,” Katie said, her throat going tight with instant emotion. She loved animals.
“Yeah, well, what else is a fella to do?” Ben remarked as if he were trying to step out of the focus.
“Go on ahead. Katie said she’d walk with me.” The sideways grin Joseph gave her set her pulse skittering. “That is, if you still don’t mind?”
She shook her head. “Not at all.”
“Good, it’s settled.” Ben clapped his hands, then came forward and gave Joseph’s arm a quick squeeze. “Thanks again for coming with me today.”
Joseph nodded. “By the way, you sent the wire for my appointment in Denver Tuesday, right?”
Ben passed a wary glance to Katie and her heart instantly squeezed with compassion for Joseph.
“Nine o’clock Tuesday morning,” Ben confirmed.
A tightness strained Joseph’s features. Over the course of the week, she’d discovered from the few times he’d spoken of the appointment or his vision, he’d become instantly irritable.
Ben glanced at his pocket watch and snapped it shut again. “By the way, Katie, you’ve made quite an impression on Aaron and Ellie. She can’t say enough good things about you.” On a wink, he turned and jogged away from them.
Katie felt a warm blush color her cheeks as they walked in silence for several moments.
“He’s right, you know…”
“Right about what?”
“Ellie has really taken to you.” His voice was as low and soothing as a cool breeze on a hot day. “Last night when the two of them stopped by, she couldn’t stop talking about you. Said you were beautiful, inside and out.”
Embarrassment flamed hot now. Her knees went weak and her mouth grew dry. She couldn’t seem to be around him without noticing every little thing about him and being affected in ways she’d never experienced.
But she was Joseph’s teacher. Nothing else. She had to keep telling herself that.
“Sorry if I embarrassed you.” His deep, mellow voice had countless other effects on her besides soothing her. His voice incited a warm quiver in her stomach and a slow, steady tremble up her spine. “When Ellie said that, it blew the very first image I had of you when Ben called you up from the street.”
She slowed to a stop. “There’s a step here. Gauge its height with your foot, then move ahead.” When he continued without incident, she went on to ask, “What image did you have?”
He puffed out his cheeks on a big sigh. “Oh, just that you were a prune-faced old woman with a sharp nose and even sharper tongue. Good thing I didn’t ride away into the sunset with that impression all week.”
She smiled at his description, recalling how sour and gruff he’d been when she’d first met him. “Likewise, it’s a good thing I didn’t hold you to my first impression, either.”
Wincing, he pulled at his collar as though it was suddenly too tight for comfort.
“For a while there, I thought my uncle’s high opinion of you was overrated.” She came to a stop and stared up at him. “But now, I think that it might just be underrated.”
Chapter Five
“If there’s one thing I cannot abide, it is an overbearing woman!” Julia proclaimed with a flourish. “Mrs. Duncan…why, the way that woman prattles on, you’d think she owned half the town. The woman is overbearing, I tell you. Overbearing!”
Joseph slid a hand across his mouth, masking his grin. He figured it took an overbearing person to know one, and Julia was close to an expert in the ways of overbearing women.
“Mrs. Duncan does—”
“She was nothing if not imperious,” she interrupted with a terse huff. “Out of the goodness of my heart, I offered my valuable expertise in helping to organize the box social and barn dance for the Glory Days celebration. And she refused! Flat-out refused, I tell you.”
“Maybe she already has things arranged,” he offered in a lame attempt to console her.
He couldn’t imagine why she’d come looking for consolation from him. Between the meal catastrophe when she’d stormed off mad and the indifference he’d shown her at church yesterday, he sure didn’t expect her to try and cozy up to him again. But from the minute she’d barged into his solitude some fifteen minutes ago, she’d been as much as crawling into him, mining for sympathy.
He’d been sitting on his porch awaiting Katie’s arrival to start a second week of training when Julia’s taut, brisk steps brought her up the walk. Funny, the second he realized the footsteps weren’t Katie’s, disappointment crept over him like a dark cloud blocking out the sun’s warmth.
Training his ear to the street, he listened for Katie’s approach, feeling a strange sense of regret knowing he wouldn’t really need her after his appointment next week. When his vision returned, Katie wouldn’t have to. He had to admit, having her around every day had been nice. She’d gotten under his skin with her sweet but confident disposition, her sunny encouragement and the way she made him feel so at ease. So much like himself again.
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Pamela Nissen
When blindness strikes carpenter Joseph Drake, the prospect of a lifetime of darkness fills him with despair. But then his brother hires Katie Ellickson.The strong-willed, confident teacher knows what it's like to be outcast, alone–and she won't give up on Joseph, even when he's ready to give up on himself. He thinks blindness is his most difficult obstacle, until he finds a bigger challenge–trying to reach Katie's heart. Will she let him? Katie has secrets that she's carried with her to the Rocky Mountains. And there's a darkness of her own in her past, which she can't escape for long….
“Why don’t you stop being so stubborn, Joseph? It’s all right to let someone help, you know,” Katie urged.
“Easy for you to say.” Joseph ground out the words, his frustrated gaze set down the road.
Katie took a step closer, then gently grasped his hand, inwardly cringing when he jerked at her touch. “Please,” she whispered. “Let me help you.”
When Joseph didn’t pull away, she placed his hand at her elbow and led him home, acutely aware of the stiffness in his touch. And when they reached his porch, she turned to find his unseeing gaze fixed on her, his eyes the most beautiful golden-brown she’d ever seen.
For a moment neither one of them moved. Delicious, comforting warmth spread through her when he swept his thumb over her hand in a light caress. Her heartbeat quickened at his comforting presence. Stirred at his soothing voice, she found herself longing for his nearness to lend her hope and confidence. And longing for his touch…
PAMELA NISSEN
loves creating. Whether it’s characters, cooking, scrapbooking or other artistic endeavors, she takes pleasure in putting things together for others to enjoy. She started writing her first book in 2000 and since then hasn’t looked back. Pamela lives in the woods in Iowa with her husband, daughter, two sons, Newfoundland dog and cats. She loves watching her children pursue their dreams, and is known to yell on the sidelines at her boys’ football games, or cry as she watches her daughter perform. She relishes scrapbooking weekends with her sister, coffee with friends and running in the rain. Having glimpsed the dark and light of life, she is passionate about writing “real” people with “real” issues and “real” responses.
Rocky Mountain Match
Pamela Nissen
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.
—Ephesians 3:18
For my lovely daughter, Mary Anna, whose strength and perseverance inspires. You are a heroine in the very truest sense of the word.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my friends and family: your encouragement has carried me through seasons of doubt. And to Melissa and the Steeple Hill family, thank you for believing in me and loving my characters as much as I do. Sincere gratitude goes to my amazing critique partners: Diane, your words and friendship are life-giving; Jacque, your tenacious loyalty is comforting; and Roxanne, your gentle expertise coaxes me out of my comfort zone. To my wonderful children, Mary Anna, Noel and Elias: thank you for being so supportive, and for tolerating more than one “cold cereal dinner” on this journey. And special thanks go to my husband, Bill, who (when I couldn’t get these characters and story line out of my head) said, “Why don’t you write a book?”
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Letter to Reader
Questions for Discussion
Chapter One
Boulder, Colorado—1890
Inky darkness crowded Joseph Drake from every side. It shrouded him like a thick coat, with power so substantial that it was almost suffocating. Its bleakness mocked his vulnerable state, sending humiliation barreling through him with avalanche force.
He hated this. Every bit of it. He could barely stomach the thought of asking for help or being pitied. And he loathed the idea that those helping him would be monitoring his each and every pathetic move.
Drawing in a steadying breath, he braced himself against the pitch blackness as he sat on the edge of the feather mattress, clutching the thin sheet in his hand. He was so dizzy. His head swam and his ears rang incessantly, deepening his bad mood. He couldn’t have imagined how unsettled he’d still feel after being on bed rest for three weeks. Raising his hands to his head, he slid his fingers over the fresh bandages shrouding his eyes. How he wished he’d just wake up and find that his accident in the woodshop had been a horrible nightmare.
“God, please,” he pleaded, his throat thick with emotion. “I need my sight back.”
When Ben, his older brother by two years and a doctor in Boulder, had removed the wraps yesterday, Joseph had been confident that he’d be able to see again. But that confidence had vanished like some taunting wraith as he’d frantically grabbed for any image through the thick, dark cloud.
He’d tried to stay calm, but deep down he’d felt a crumbling begin at the very base of who he was. All along he’d minimized his injury. After all, it could be too soon to tell any permanent outcome—and Ben was new to doctoring. The thought had crossed Joseph’s mind more than once that maybe Ben was a little green around the edges and lacked experience.
He’d reasoned it all, but the prospect of being permanently blind staked out his soul like a dank, stony grave marker. And the huge furniture order he’d taken on just days before his accident lay like dead flowers crushed into the fresh turned dirt. He’d cushioned the deadline when he’d signed the contract, but with his brother, Aaron, being the only one working in the woodshop for the past three weeks, the padding had been jerked away hard and fast.
Fighting to remain hopeful, he pushed himself off the bed, his cracked ribs protesting with the movement. He inhaled sharply, digging his toes into the rag rug’s nubby texture.
His jaw ticked with instant irritation as a distant chorus of giggles wafted through his open window. It didn’t take much to conjure up the origin of the twittering noise. He could see it now…a cluster of bonneted women standing in front of the hotel. Lined up like flowers for the picking, just another batch of mail-order brides brought in to help populate the west.
It was downright demeaning, in his book, the way they’d set themselves on display like that.
When a knock sounded on his front door, he startled. Clad in just underclothes, he lurched forward, struggling for balance as he probed for the wall where his clothes were hung.
Ben’s strong urging that Joseph gradually ease back into life on his own whipped through his mind like a warning knell. But bandages over his eyes or not, Joseph was a twenty-seven-year-old man, and like a caged animal, he craved independence and freedom. Privacy.
“I’ll be right out,” he yelled after another knock sounded.
His fingertips brushed against sturdy cotton fabric and he sighed with relief. He pulled on his britches and boots, then shrugged into his shirtsleeves, although a new level of frustration assaulted him as he intently focused on lining up the five wooden buttons with buttonholes.
Eight years ago he’d built his own home, but now he could barely dress himself. He shuffled out of the bedroom, galled at having to give such simple routines a second thought. Groping along the wall, his breathing grew shallow as each awkward step echoed over the hardwood floor—a mocking reminder of his vulnerable state.
When his leg knocked hard into something, Joseph flinched, reaching down to steady the imposing piece of furniture. His hands careened into the small table and tipped it over, sending a loud bang reverberating throughout the quiet house.
“Joseph? Are you all right?” Ben rapped at his door again.
He stooped to right the piece. “I’ll be right there,” he shot back through tightly clenched teeth.
Hands quivering, he felt the satin-smooth finish. He’d always prided himself in this well-known trademark, but now he wondered if he’d ever be able to resume his profession.
And his plans to marry and have a family… None of that was certain now. If his vision didn’t return, there was no way he’d saddle any young woman to life with a blind man.
Humiliation cloaked him soundly and offending images of himself stumbling through life alone and without sight intensified his bad mood.
When Joseph finally reached the front door, he fumbled for the handle, then eased it open. A gust of fresh air hit him square in the face, reminding him just how long he’d been down.
“Mornin’, Joseph!” Ben clapped him on the arm. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurry you, but you said you didn’t want me barging in anymore, but then when I heard…” Ben’s voice trailed off. “I see you made it up and about.”
“Were you expecting something else?” Joseph retorted.
“Not exactly, I guess.”
Joseph tried to push aside his sour mood as he caught the rumble of a buckboard rolling slowly by in front of his house. “What brings you over? I thought you gave me a clean bill of health yesterday.” Sliding a hand up the front of his shirt, he checked for misaligned buttons.
“How are the ribs? Are they giving you much trouble?”
“I feel fine,” he lied, ignoring the constant dull ache and the comment he could swear he overheard from inside the wagon, regarding his bandages. His accident had probably been the talk of the town for the past three weeks.
“Well, your color is better. Not bad for a man who’s been through what you have. Are you sure you’re feeling strong enough to tackle things today?”
“I said I’m fine.” Joseph furrowed his brow. “But if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were expecting me to trek up the Flatirons with you. That’s not likely to happen.”
“Believe me, a quiet day in the mountains sounds great after visiting with ol’ Donovan Grimes. The fellow’s hearing must be just about gone, the way he shouts. My ears are still ringing.” Ben shifted his booted feet on the porch floor. “By the way, Aaron said that Ellie had planned to bring dinner tonight, but she’s not feeling well. I’m going to check in on her after this.”
Joseph grew immediately concerned for his sister-in-law. She was having a difficult time of this first pregnancy and he knew it weighed on his younger brother Aaron. Especially now that he was carrying double the load in the woodshop with Joseph being laid up.
“Tell you what, I’ll just have the hotel diner make you up a plate and deliver it to you. How’s that sound?”
Joseph balled his fists. “I said yesterday that I’d take it from here.”
“I’d accept the help if I were you,” Ben urged. “Soon enough you’ll be begging us to have a little pity on you and bring over some good, home-cooked meals again.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Stepping outside, he closed the door behind him so Ben wouldn’t get any ideas of staying for a visit.
Ben cleared his throat, a trait Joseph had begun to recognize over the past three weeks as a nervous gesture. “Remember when we talked, shortly after your fall, about getting you training in case you don’t—”
“Whoa. Whoa.” He swiped beads of perspiration forming on his brow. “We talked? I think you mean you talked. I didn’t agree to anything.”
“I know how adamant you are about being independent—I want that for you, too. But you’ll get there quicker with training,” Ben finished as though racing to get it out.
Gritting his teeth, Joseph plastered himself against the door. He’d prove to his older brother that he could make it on his own, but he couldn’t even seem to move his feet enough to turn and stalk back inside. Truth be told, he was scared to death to take a step forward into the darkness.
And he’d never been afraid of anything.
“What are you getting at, Ben?” A bout of light-headedness assaulted him and he struggled to keep his balance as he stood to his full six foot, three inches. “What’s going on?”
Ben sighed. “Promise me you’ll hear me out before you go jumping down my throat, all right?”
“I’m not promising you anything.” Joseph tightened his fists. “Just tell me what you did. Now!”
“I—I arranged for a teacher to come out from Iowa.”
“You did what?”
“I arranged for a teacher to help you,” Ben declared with a little more firmness. “I know you don’t want to do this, but you need to give it a chance.”
“It’s a waste of time. My vision is going to return.”
“I hope you’re right. You know that I’ve read everything I can get my hands on. But like I told you yesterday, the more time that passes with no change, the less chance there is for restoration,” Ben said, his voice tight. “I know this has to be hard, but if your vision doesn’t return, what then?”
That question had staked out territory in Joseph’s mind for the past three weeks. That his entire life could be permanently altered infringed on his well-planned life like some dark omen.
In a softer tone, Ben continued. “Will you refuse help even when it could make things easier for you?”
Every muscle shuddered with anger. “I—don’t—need—help!”
Even as the declaration crossed his lips he knew he might be deceiving himself. But the thought of being trained in the simple aspects of life rankled like nothing else. He’d always been self-sufficient. Always.
Joseph forced himself to stop shaking. “Wire the man and let him know he doesn’t need to waste a long trip like that.”
Awkward silence draped heavily between them, making Joseph’s skin prickle and a foreboding creep down his spine.
Ben sighed, slow and heavy. “I—I can’t do that.”
“You can’t send a telegraph wire?” His pulse pounded in his ears. “Why not? It’s not that hard.”
When his brother stepped back, Joseph loosened his fists, unfurling them one finger at a time. Ben could be stubborn, but so could Joseph—and he had a long history of winning arguments.
“Miss Ellickson,” Ben called out toward the street. “Why don’t you come on up.”
Joseph froze. “Tell me what’s going on,” he demanded, his heart slamming against his chest. “I mean it, Ben.”
Ben came to stand directly in front of him now, so close that Joseph could smell his brother’s subtle, clean scent. “Your teacher arrived by stage two days ago.”
Hearing the faint clicking of boots across the boardwalk, a trembling shook Joseph to the core. Unbidden, he pictured an old schoolmarm clad in a dowdy brown dress, a severe knot of mousy-brown hair clinging to the back of her head and rimmed glasses perched on her long nose.
His jaw muscle ticked. “Why wasn’t I informed? This is my life we’re talking about here.”
“You’ll probably never forgive me for this. And I knew that you’d refuse, no matter what sense I tried to talk into you. You’re stubborn, Joseph, too stubborn for your own good. As your brother and doctor, I made the decision for you.”
“That’s just great! I get to have my life planned by you now.” Joseph gave a mock laugh. “I may have lost my vision for a while, but I haven’t lost my mind. Send the woman back!”
Just shy of Joseph’s height, Ben leaned closer, his voice dropping to a stern whisper. “I also knew that as a perfect gentleman, you wouldn’t give this dedicated young woman a hard time.”
The distinct sound of the front gate clicking shut and the woman’s slow, light steps coming from the walkway sent Joseph’s heart racing inside his chest. His breathing grew ragged.
“Listen, Joseph, she comes highly recommended, with a glowing letter sent by the school she’s been working at for the past five years. She’s Sven and Marta Olsson’s niece,” Ben added as though that tidbit of information would make him agree.
Well, he was anything but agreeable. The last thing he wanted was some teacher coming in and watching him stumble around his own house.
He tensed, only faintly aware of his sore ribs. “It’s a waste of her time,” he said in a harsh whisper.
Ben firmly gripped Joseph’s shoulder. “Whether you gain back partial vision or no vision, she can help you right now. She’s used to this.”
“Used to what? Seeing someone make a fool of himself?”
The soft treading of the woman’s shoes up the stairs sent a quaking through Joseph’s entire being. Beads of sweat trailed down his forehead, soaking into the bandage.
“I wouldn’t be so quick to make a judgment,” Ben urged. “You never know, she might just be the answer to your prayers.”
The answer to his prayers? Katie mused silently.
Clutching her instruction books tight against her chest, she stepped up to the porch and stared at Mr. Drake who stood legs braced wide, fists clenched at his sides and his chin set in stubborn defiance. She slid her gaze up, noticing that even though bandages shrouded his eyes, they couldn’t hide the fact that he looked none too happy. An unmistakable, aggravated scowl creased his forehead.
The answer to his prayers… I’m probably more like his worst nightmare, she admitted, swallowing hard.
Hope had bloomed on the long journey from Iowa to Colorado, but now uncertainty choked out eager anticipation like a dense thicket of weeds invading tender spring flowers. Never had she questioned her ability to teach and certainly she’d never shied from taking on a challenging student, so why should she now?
“Miss Ellickson, I’d like to introduce my brother, Joseph Drake.” The twinkle in the doctor’s gray-blue eyes belied his simple brown attire and had put her at ease when she’d met him yesterday, but now he appeared anything but confident.
Slipping her fingers over each fine pearl button trailing down her powder-blue waistcoat, she grappled for confidence. “Good morning, Mr. Drake. I’m pleased to meet you.”
When she reached for his tight-fisted hand, he drew back as though she’d seared him with a hot iron. His mouth was set firm and hard. He shifted his weight from one foot to another, his leg muscles bunching beneath camel-colored britches. And as he drew his shoulders back, his chest stretched wide, revealing a well-defined muscular build beneath a white cotton shirt.
Embarrassment flushed her cheeks and she quickly averted her gaze to the fresh coat of dark gray paint that gleamed like icing on the porch floor.
“You may not feel ready for it, Joseph, but Miss Ellickson is prepared for a full day’s work.” The doctor gave her a lame look of encouragement, then shifted a wary gaze to his brother. “I know you’re probably mad enough to spit nails, but give it two weeks. At least until you see the doctor in Denver.”
While he continued with a halfhearted pep talk, Mr. Drake remained grim. His commanding presence filled the small porch, sending a quiver of unease down her spine. And a brief, unwanted flash of fear through her mind.
Nervously she smoothed back wispy strands of blond waves, wondering when the unbidden memories from the past year would stop haunting her. When would she be free of her attacker’s vile grasp? Even months later, she could still feel his hands pinning her down to a dire moment in time that would never end.
Her chest pulled tight, the same painful questions swirling through her mind…. Where was God then? Why hadn’t He helped her? Why hadn’t He protected her?
She wanted to trust God, wanted to rest knowing that He was watching out for her. But it seemed a mountain of anguish stood in her way of finding the childlike innocence she’d once had.
Squeezing her eyes tight, she refused to let her past get in the way of this new job assignment. When Uncle Sven had wired her about this opportunity, it was like a thousand Christmases all wrapped into one. This was a chance to start fresh, far away from the continuous reminders. A chance to distance herself from the constant threat she felt back home.
Squaring her shoulders, she studied the man before her.
Stubborn. She’d seen it more than once while working at the Braille and Sight-Saving School, but she’d never encountered someone so dead set on refusing help. His imposing stance spoke far louder than the words of protest she’d overheard as she’d waited on the boardwalk for the doctor to summon her.
“I won’t keep you two any longer.” Dr. Drake’s voice broke into her thoughts. “If you need anything, Miss Ellickson, please don’t hesitate to let me know.”
Nodding, she smoothed a hand down her full damask skirt, pasting on a tranquil smile in spite of feeling as if he was leaving her to one mean, hungry wolf. “We’ll be just fine.”
She watched the doctor’s long strides take him down the walk and almost wished she could follow. Scanning the tidy yard surrounded by a white picket fence, she experienced a measure of safety. But as she slid her gaze to the rugged Rocky Mountains, she felt a tangible unease at the untamed land.
While she turned to face her new student, she braced herself before she spoke. “I can understand your discomfort, Mr. Drake, if my presence here doesn’t sit well with you. If it eases your mind at all, I can assure you that you will get neither pity nor charity from me,” she stated simply, hoping to allay such fears.
“Quite honestly, you’ll get as much out of this as you’re willing to put in,” she added, unsuccessfully trying to gauge his response. “And if you readily embrace a challenge as your brother says you do, I think that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.”
From the stoic stance he’d demonstrated so far, she’d obviously underestimated the doctor’s claims that he was stubborn. Had Uncle Sven not vouched for Mr. Drake’s stellar character and assured her safety with him, she might just turn and leave for good. Which was exactly what he wanted right now.
And precisely what he didn’t need.
Firming up her wilting strength, she made a desperate grasp for boldness as she stood directly in front of him. “Mr. Drake, you need me. And I’m prepared to give you my all to help you gain independence. So perhaps we should begin our first…”
The words died on her lips as a low, deep growling sound came from the porch’s dark shadows. Her breath caught in her throat. Hair prickled on the back of her neck. She flicked her gaze to where a mound of black fur lumbered into the sunlight.
“Bear!” Stifling a scream, her books dropped to the porch floor. “Quick! Get inside! He’s coming!”
She lunged for Mr. Drake and wedged between his large frame and the clapboard house. Fear gripped like a vice, clamping down with brutal force as she wrapped her arms around his broad chest and tried to tug him toward the front door.
“Mr. Drake, please. We must—get to safety!” she grunted, struggling in vain to move him.
Peeking around him, she could see the hulking black bear closing in on her, its wide boxy head hung low, thick shoulders bearing its lumbering mass, and its long fluffy tail…
She froze. Grasped his chest tighter as waves of prickly heat spread through her. Bears didn’t have tails. Did they?
Narrowing her gaze, she braved another glance around Mr. Drake’s chest, all firm and muscular beneath her tight hold, to see a huge dog with a head the size of a barrel staring at her with big brown, expressive eyes. The dog dropped to the edge of the porch with a weighted thud and bored sigh, looking up at her as if to say it had been mortally wounded by her accusation.
“Miss Ellickson, that is a dog, not a bear,” he said, prying her hands loose from his chest.
Katie let out an unladylike whoosh of air. Utter embarrassment at her impropriety overwhelmed her as it dawned on her how close she was to Mr. Drake. Her cheeks flamed hot and she wiped a quivering hand over her lips.
She slipped out from behind him. “I—I apologize.”
Tugging at her waistcoat, she smoothed back her hair, grateful he couldn’t see her crimson cheeks. He could probably hear her heart pounding in her chest, though. “How foolish of me. It’s just that with the shadows I thought—”
“Perhaps it’s not me who has less-than-perfect sight,” he cut in without even the hint of a smile. “Colorado is no place for the faint of heart.”
Flames of anger nipped at her composure, but she quickly snuffed them out. “I’m sure it’s not—and I regret my outburst. I suppose I’m just leery of the wilds of Colorado,” she admitted on a shaky sigh. Even though she was a little more than leery of him right now, she was determined to remain professional. “Is this your dog?”
“Boone’s a Newfoundland, and he wouldn’t hurt you for anything,” he said as Katie stooped to pet the dog. “Unless he senses that I don’t like you.”
She pulled her hand back and passed a wary glance from the dog to him. “Well, then, I guess you’d better change your mind about me—or your dog will be having me for lunch.”
Chapter Two
Was she friend or foe?
That question reverberated through Joseph’s mind as he sank deeper into the chair across from where Miss Ellickson sat on the sofa. The faintest scent of lilies, pleasing and natural, drifted from her direction and he took a long, measured breath.
Since meeting her this morning, he’d been cross. He didn’t want her here, but felt trapped because his brother had set things up in such a clever way that Joseph wouldn’t have a choice but to slap his jaws shut and suffer through.
He’d entertained illusions of the woman taking off like a scared rabbit. Instead, she’d seemingly marked her territory and called him to climb this uphill battle—and he never backed down from a challenge.
He could hardly blame her if she’d chosen to leave because he wasn’t exactly Boulder’s idea of a welcoming committee. He was sour, indifferent and unfriendly, and he knew it.
Reaching down next to his chair, he found Boone’s head, soft and furry beneath his touch. He gently stroked the dog’s thick coat, acutely aware of Miss Ellickson’s presence.
Rivers of wounded pride coursed through his veins at his predicament. This woman may have come highly recommended and be competent, but she couldn’t give him what he wanted most… His vision.
Slumping deeper into the cushioned chair, he pressed the pads of his fingers over his bandaged eyes, something he often did hoping the pressure would somehow produce a change. He’d do most anything if it meant regaining his sight, but nothing seemed to make a difference. Strong will and hard work had always been his friends, but now it was as if they were bound on the sidelines while he stood alone in the midst of a raging battle.
Joseph held out hope that in two weeks, when he’d travel to see the doctor in Denver, he’d find more encouraging news. If so, he’d never take another day of blessed sight for granted.
Raking his fingers through his thick hair, he shifted uncomfortably in the chair, knowing that until then, this woman would witness each humiliating attempt to do things right.
Would she laugh? Turn away in embarrassment? Pity him?
He loathed not seeing! And was determined not to be a burden. But remembering how meager tasks such as dressing or walking through his own house took every bit of concentration he could amass, he wondered if things would ever come easy.
“Yoo-hoo…Joseph?” Julia Cranston’s high-pitched voice jerked him from his thoughts as the front door creaked open. “Are you home?”
Joseph briefly recalled the day of his accident when Aaron had found another love note from Julia at the door. She’d sealed it with red wax.
“Kinda bold, don’t ya think?” Aaron had jibed.
Joseph had glanced warily at the heart-shaped seal. He’d gone on a few innocent outings with Julia, but had no plans to go running down the aisle yet.
“Whatcha’ waitin’ for?” Aaron had asked. “If you’re holdin’ off till all your ducks are lined up, you’d better get movin’ fast or they’re gonna go line up in somebody else’s pond.”
At the time he’d thought little of Aaron’s prodding, figuring he had plenty of time to set in place that part of his life. But just minutes later his whole life had changed. A single moment, a careless movement on a ladder, had altered his entire life. Now he could only hope that God would answer the barrage of petitions he’d made for healing.
Hearing the door rattle again, he realized that Julia hadn’t visited for a week. Now that he was up from bed rest, he felt acutely aware of his inadequacy because a woman like Julia, delicately beautiful and refined, was used to being pampered. She’d sat by his bedside a few days since his accident, spending most of her time relating the latest news of Boulder’s upper crust, rarely inquiring about his injury.
“Come on in.” He stood and struggled for balance.
“Oh, there you are! I’m so glad to see you up,” Julia crooned as she beelined toward him, her skirts swishing and heels clicking across the wood floor.
The overwhelming powdery perfume she wore preceded her in a thick cloud, triggering the sudden need to sneeze. He raised a hand to his nose and warded it off as her light footsteps came to an abrupt stop in front of him.
“I—I thought you were going to be through with those silly old bandages,” she bleated, her excitement suddenly deflated.
He could almost feel her piercing hazel gaze bearing down on him. “Ben put new ones on to give my eyes more time.”
“More time? Whatever for? You said that you were going to be as good as new when those awful wraps came off.”
He swallowed hard. “My eyes need more time to heal.”
Julia gave an exaggerated whimper. “Well, that ruins positively everything! I had a very special surprise for you today, but now you won’t even be able to see it.”
“What was the surprise?” he asked, his jaw clenched tight.
“My dress, of course.” Stiff fabric rustled at her touch. “I just came from the dressmaker’s and I was going to surprise you. Daddy insisted I have a new dress made for the Glory Days celebration in a few weeks. It’s simply the most beautiful cobalt-blue taffeta you’ve ever seen,” she announced. After another long whimper she added, “Now you can’t even see it to tell me how stunning I look.”
Miss Ellickson cleared her throat from the sofa.
“Why, Joseph!” Julia perched a hand on his forearm. “I didn’t realize you had company.”
“Julia Cranston, this is Miss Ellickson.” He felt Julia stiffen, as though some invisible rod just shot up her back.
“Good morning, Miss Cranston,” his teacher said.
Julia threaded an arm through his. “Miss Ellickson, you say? I don’t recall the name from around here.”
He could only imagine the confused look on her face. Even though her family had arrived just months ago from Boston, she was already familiar with everyone within twenty square miles.
“You must be new to the area,” Julia finally conceded.
“I arrived just Saturday,” Miss Ellickson answered stiffly.
“Miss Ellickson is here from Iowa. Ben sent for her to—to carry out some training I may need.” The admission needled him.
“Whatever would you need training for, Joseph?” Julia sidled closer, her voice rising in pitch. “Uncle Edward says you’re the finest craftsman this side of the Rockies.”
He sighed. “Not training in carpentry. Training in case my sight doesn’t return—right away.” Or at all, he thought, the very prospect making his stomach churn.
“This certainly is a shock!” She hesitated, then patted his hand. “Well, you poor thing, Joseph, looking pitiful in those wraps the way you do. Maybe you should be back in bed?”
He winced at her choice of words. He didn’t want to be pitied. “I’m fine. Really. What brings you here, anyway?”
“I stopped by the shop thinking, of course, that you’d be there working your little heart out after being in bed for so long.” Her voice was loud enough to call in cattle. “You can imagine my surprise when Aaron said you were still at home.”
“My eyes are bandaged, not my ears.” He dug his fingers into the chair’s thick stuffing. “I can hear you just fine.”
“Of course. As I was saying,” she continued, the pitch of her voice showing no noticeable change. “I brought you a most wonderful meal. I’m quite certain you’ll be very pleased.”
A tantalizing aroma wafted to his senses, penetrating the cloud of perfume. He tried not to show his surprise at her sudden display of domestic prowess. “Did you make this yourself?”
“Well, I…not exactly. But I gave Cook very specific instructions. She absolutely puts me to shame, Joseph,” she simpered, then whisked out of the front room toward the kitchen. “I am simply dreadful in the kitchen.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You probably do a fine job,” he called after her, but remembering the sawdust taste of the cookies she’d made last week, he was pretty sure that wasn’t true.
“You’re a dear to say so. But I dare say that I won’t be winning any first-place ribbons in the pie-baking contest at the town celebration.” Julia’s high-pitched laughter shot through his house like bolts of lightning. “Come and eat, Joseph.”
Vile fear wrapped around him when the almost twenty feet he had to go suddenly felt more like a mile. Perspiration beaded his forehead and a slow trembling coursed through his body like deadly venom. His pulse pounded in his head, throwing off his concentration. He gritted his teeth. Drew in a shuddering breath. Just as he started forward with his hands outstretched, he felt a light touch on his arm.
“Mr. Drake,” Miss Ellickson whispered beside him as she gently guided his hand to her elbow. “Would you be so kind as to escort me to the table?”
He jerked his head down to her, ready to refuse. But the overwhelming relief he felt as she led him with steady measured steps to the kitchen brought his protest up short.
“You must be positively famished,” Julia gushed.
When Miss Ellickson placed his hand on the back of a dining chair, he whispered, “Thanks.”
Bracing his hands on the chair, he willed the trembling to stop. “So, what do we have here?”
Over a deep sigh, he could hear Boone’s lumbering gait coming toward him. Joseph could just see the dog throwing his tail lazily from side to side as he swaggered across the room.
“Oh no, Joseph! Are you going to let that horrid animal sit here while you eat? God only knows where she’s been.” No doubt Julia’s pink lips were pursed tight, her small nose wrinkled in disgust. She never did like Boone and wasn’t shy about saying so. “I don’t see how you can stand having Bongo in your house like you do.”
“Boone,” he corrected, irritated that she could never seem to get his dog’s name right. “And ‘she’s’ a ‘he.’”
“Boone, Bongo, he, she…it matters not to me. The beast is just so uncouth. Mother would surely faint if she could see it in your house. Why, that creature is nearly a horse.”
“He’s a dog, and he’s fine. He minds his manners.”
Lowering himself to the long trestle table, he trailed his fingers along the sturdy walnut’s smooth finish, remembering when he’d crafted the piece. He’d built it, eager for the day when his wife and children would be seated here with him.
Julia clanged silverware against a plate, jerking him out of his reverie and invoking a fast-building sense of dread. That anxiety multiplied by ten as he realized that this would be the first time since his accident that he’d sat down for a meal.
“Everything is all set for you, Joseph. You can eat now.”
He swallowed hard. Clenching his fists in his lap, he wondered what everything was…pork and beans, soup, chicken? He had no idea what she’d laid out or where it was located on the table. Beads of perspiration formed on his brow, his pulse pounded a deafening rhythm in his head.
“I wasn’t planning on joining you, but maybe—”
“No, that’s not necessary,” he quickly cut in.
“Honestly, I did have plans to have tea with Colleen Teller, the senator’s daughter,” she twittered. “Of course, I’d have to go home and change. It would simply be unacceptable if she were to see me wearing my new dress today and then again for the celebration. Don’t you think?”
He offered a hearty nod, thankful she had other plans.
“Well, then, by all means let me see you out, Miss Cranston. You won’t want to be late,” Miss Ellickson clipped off.
“That’s completely unnecessary. I can see myself out.” Julia clutched his hand and leaned closer, her perfume nearly choking him. “Maybe I should stay. What do you think, Joseph?” A whine of regret laced her whispered words. “I suppose I could reschedule with Colleen. Her agenda is busy, but I’m sure—”
“Please, go. Have your lunch with Colleen. I’d rather eat alone.” He braced his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers under his chin. “Miss Ellickson, you can take a dinner break, too. There’s a good diner just down the road—have them put your bill on my tab.”
“I’ll be joining you here. Thank you all the same,” she responded quietly.
Julia’s sharp intake of breath wasn’t lost on Joseph. She grasped his shoulder. “Miss…Miss Ellington—”
“Ellickson.” Joseph shook his head.
Her nails bit into his flesh. “Miss Ellickson, perhaps you didn’t hear Joseph. He said he’d rather dine alone. If you—”
“Julia, I can handle this,” he ground out, disgusted at her steely tone. Although he’d taken her on a few outings in the past two months, he didn’t fancy being treated like some possession of hers. “Miss Ellickson, you’re probably in need of a break. I’m sure I can handle it on my own.”
“I can understand your hesitance, Mr. Drake. Believe me, I do.” Her voice trembled.
Tension chorded his body as he wondered why everyone couldn’t just let him make his own decisions. If he wanted to eat alone, shouldn’t he be afforded that one small courtesy?
“I’m sorry.” Miss Ellickson’s voice was soft and even, coming from the chair to his left. “But I’m here to—to teach you. Not to coddle you.”
Julia withdrew her hand from his shoulder, mumbling as her booted heels clicked loudly across the floor. When she slammed a plate down on the table, he nearly jumped out of his skin.
He swallowed hard, trying to control his mounting frustration. “I didn’t ask you to coddle me, Miss Ellickson.”
With a harrumph, Julia plopped down in a chair across the table from him. “Oh for goodness’s—”
“You’ve made that quite clear,” Miss Ellickson continued as if oblivious to Julia’s presence. “But as with all my students, I’m here to instruct you in how to get along on your own, and that’s what I’m going to do—starting with dinner.”
“Joseph has been eating dinner for twenty-seven years, Miss Eberhard,” Julia informed on a nervous laugh. He could hear her dishing something onto her plate. “He can get along just fine. Can’t you, Joseph?”
“Just drop the subject.” He grasped at his fading calm.
“Fine, I see the way of things.” Julia gave her napkin a swift snap and a puff of air fluffed over to him. “You have never had a problem doing things on your own,” she reminded him, the shrill sound of her voice contrasting sharply with the delicate chorus of birds outside. “I realize that when you were laid up flat on your back you needed assistance. But now—”
“But now, with these bandages on, I still can’t see.” Raising his focus to where she sat directly across from him, he wished he could see, but he couldn’t even open his eyes through the thick bandages. “And there’s a slim chance that my vision might not be what it was.”
He swallowed against the admission. If his sight didn’t fully return, he’d have to find independence as soon as possible or he’d never be able to stomach himself.
“Oh, Joseph, don’t be silly. You’re going to be fine,” Julia dismissed, then took a bite of something that crunched.
Awkwardness flooded his resolve. He could hear Miss Ellickson arranging things on the table, even dishing items onto his plate while he sat rigid as a board, every muscle in his body stiff and unyielding to the internal cry to relax. All he wanted was to be left alone, but Julia was being unusually possessive and Miss Ellickson was intent on doing her job.
A job he didn’t even hire her to do!
“Your plate is in front of you,” Miss Ellickson began, her voice low and measured. “Now, like numbers on a clock face, there’s a thick wheat roll at nine o’clock, mashed potatoes at twelve o’clock, cooked carrots at three o’clock and roast at six o’clock. If you’ll raise your hands to feel for your plate,” she directed, pausing as if waiting for him to follow her lead, but he couldn’t seem to move his hands from where they were tightly fisted in his lap. “You’ll find your fork to the left of your plate, spoon and knife on your napkin to the right. And your glass of grape juice is about three inches to the right of your plate, at two o’clock.”
From across the table, Julia’s sharp scrutiny bore down on him like a locomotive. He tried to ignore it. The aroma rising from the food normally would’ve made his mouth water, but instead his stomach churned. His discomfort could reach a swift end if he insisted they leave, but at this point he was too stubborn to give in.
“Shall we give thanks?” Miss Ellickson asked.
The distinct air of vulnerability in her voice pricked Joseph’s heart, but he quickly brushed it aside as though it were a pesky bug. In spite of his surging anger, he bowed his head as Julia’s utensils clanked to silence against her plate. Truth be told, over the past weeks he’d spent more time telling God what to do than talking with Him or thanking Him. Had God heard his plea for healing? Or had He passed him by for good?
On a long sigh, he began to pray. “Lord, thank You for this meal. Bless the hands that prepared it.” Remembering his sister-in-law’s tenuous health and the certain stress Aaron had to be under, he added, “And be with Ellie and the baby. Keep them safe.”
“Amen,” Miss Ellickson whispered after a long pause.
With a curt nod, he sat in the offending darkness, trying to ignore the daunting insecurity as he struggled for self-control. Pulling his sagging shoulders back, he braced himself, unwilling to look like a helpless excuse for a man—especially in front of Julia.
Crisp, metallic sounds from her silverware sounded against her plate. She hadn’t uttered one word in the past moments, but he knew she must be closely monitoring his every move. Her sharp inspection pierced like tiny shards of glass.
Could he do this? With his head bowed, Joseph tried to picture the things set before him. He slowly slid his hands up to the table, probing for his knife and fork. Once he’d located his utensils, he raised them to the plate.
“Now, when you’ve located your fork and knife—”
“I’ve eaten without help in the past, Miss Ellickson,” he cut in, knowing even as the words formed on his lips that he should just swallow his pride. “And I can do it now.”
Joseph fought to still his trembling hands. As he made a stab for the meat to cut it, the supple chunk seemed to dodge his effort, sliding away from him. His fork fell from his grasp, clanking loudly against his plate.
He couldn’t miss the small gasp Julia gave. “Oh, no, Joseph, you dropped your fork,” she announced loudly.
“Really?” Fumbling for his fork, he put it to the plate again while inside tremors of fury thundered. When he couldn’t locate the piece of meat with his utensils, his agitation increased.
“Here you are, Mr. Drake. The roast is back on your plate,” his teacher spoke evenly.
The roast had flown off his plate?
Steeling himself, he struggled to gather his composure as he repositioned his fork toward the carrots. With intense focus, he tried to recall where she’d said they were—three o’clock or ten o’clock? Framing one side of the plate with a hand, he set his fork to the plate, succinctly stabbing one long spear and cutting it in two. A small sigh of relief passed his lips as he opened wide and directed the carrot in. It brushed his lips, tumbled down his shirt, then fell to the floor with a moist thud.
He gritted his teeth as Boone immediately shifted across the floor and sniffed at the vegetable. Joseph’s breathing came heavy, labored. The loud rushing in his ears grew almost deafening.
“It’s all right.” Miss Ellickson’s tone was low and even.
He slammed his fist on the table to ward her off. He would do this alone or drown in a pool of humiliation.
“If you’ll put your fork to the plate,” she offered, forced patience lacing her words, “and first gauge where the food—”
“I will do it!” Joseph interrupted angrily, acutely aware that not one morsel of food had made it to his mouth yet.
Humiliation ricocheted in his mind like a shotgun blast in an underground cavern. Groping for his knife, his hand careened into his glass of grape juice. It tipped, the glass clinking on the solid wood.
“Oh, my new dress!” Julia yowled, her chair scraping away from the table. “My beautiful new dress! It’s ruined!”
Joseph sucked in a shaky breath. He stood, knocking his chair over with the back of his legs and sending Boone scurrying away, toenails scratching across the floor as the loud crash reverberated throughout the house.
Hearing the frantic sound of Julia wiping at her garment, Joseph brought his hands to his head, threading trembling fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he forced on a broken breath.
“Please don’t worry, Mr. Drake. Accidents happen,” Miss Ellickson responded quietly as she rose and crossed to the sink. “I’ll get it cleaned up.”
He drew quivering fingertips over the bandages covering his eyes, failure’s evil taunt screaming through his thoughts. He was sickened at his stubborn pride. Balling his fists firmly at his sides, he clenched his teeth tight. Even if he couldn’t see, he should be able to make it through a meal.
Simple things were now difficult. Difficult things, seemingly impossible. When he’d been released from bed rest, he thought he’d feel more comfortable, more capable. Instead, he felt more like a prisoner than a free man.
He jerked suddenly at Miss Ellickson’s light touch on his arm. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wondered what you’d like for me to do?”
Julia huffed. “Isn’t it obvious that you’ve already done quite enough? Just look at the mess he’s made,” she hissed. “Poor Joseph obviously isn’t ready for this. I’m certain that you can’t be doing him a bit of good by pushing—”
“Stop!” he growled. “Just leave, now.”
A moment of crushing silence was followed by the whoosh of Julia’s skirts as she walked toward the front door. “I can tell when I’m not wanted,” she spat, her voice laden with unveiled disgust as she stormed out, slamming the front door behind her.
“Mr. Drake? I’m terribly sorry about all of that.” Miss Ellickson slid her hand off his arm. “I’ll understand if you want to call it a day.”
Tilting his head down toward her, he wished he could see her. He just wanted one glimpse. From the moment they’d met this morning, she’d seen him at his worst, with behavior he didn’t even know he was capable of. She’d taken his rude, unyielding responses with a stiff upper lip. Why? Who was this woman who would sacrifice her own comfort and willingly endure the ugliest part of him?
Chapter Three
Unadulterated fear had shown like gaping holes in Mr. Drake’s stony wall of composure. From five years of experience working with the blind, Katie had learned to recognize the sure signs. And she’d never seen such desperation. All morning she’d witnessed it in his tensing jaw, tight fists and grim expression. She was worn out just watching him work so hard to fortify himself against the fear.
She stood for several moments on his porch, her legs weak as she clutched her books to her chest. He’d said that he’d lost his appetite. That he needed some time to think. And she knew when to let up a little. After all, this was all so very new and painful for him.
Breathing deep, she welcomed the soothing west wind filtering through her skirts, cooling her skin. For over three hours she’d remained stalwart in spite of his unyielding behavior, though she’d nearly bit her tongue in two when Miss Julia Cranston had shown up. It wasn’t Katie’s business who that woman was to Mr. Drake, but whatever her relationship, Miss Cranston wasn’t taking into account his vulnerable state. And for that Katie felt fiercely protective.
Compassion for him tugged at her heart. It was clear that this man of strength and self-sufficiency had been dealt a very difficult hand in life. Things were horribly unfamiliar to him. Maybe for now, anyway, he felt like a shell of what he had been.
Still, Katie could see an iron will there—and a fortitude that perhaps he didn’t even realize existed. He was unlike anyone she’d worked with. Decidedly stoic, yet beneath that stony exterior, a vulnerable man, scared to death. And she wanted to do everything she could to give him back his life.
Squaring her shoulders, she struggled to gather her wits before walking the distance back to Uncle Sven and Aunt Marta’s. She’d never hidden her feelings well. No doubt they’d worry if she showed up looking as distraught as she felt.
Brushing wisps of hair from her face, she started down the three steps, but came to an abrupt halt when Mr. Drake’s voice penetrated the solid walnut barrier.
“Why? Why me?” he choked out, his halting footsteps shuffling from the area of the kitchen where she’d left him, toward the front room. “How could you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Mr. Drake’s voice rose in volume, twisting her heart with its mournful, almost terrorized sound. “Why, God? Why me? You have to let me see again!”
His deep, raw cry sent shivers down her spine and a piercing sword to her heart. When she heard him knock something over, her breath caught in her chest.
“Oh, God! You—promised!” Heaving sobs broke his words.
A heavy object slammed against the door.
Swallowing hard, she blinked back hot tears stinging her eyes. She could try to comfort him right now, but he’d reject it. She could do everything she knew to aid him in gaining physical freedom, but only God could heal his wounded heart.
Lifting a trembling finger to her face, she swiped a tear sliding down her cheek as she remembered his awkwardness this noon when he’d prayed. She didn’t need eyes to see that his relationship with God was being sorely tested. How well she knew that reality—her own trust in God had been pulled up painfully short in the past year.
“God, please help him,” she whispered. “Help me.”
From behind the door, Mr. Drake’s breathing came in audible gasps. “God, You pr-promised you wouldn’t forsake Your own!”
“Go ahead, Joe-boy. Hit me as hard as you can,” Aaron provoked, his words sounding more like he was offering to loan Joseph his boots, rather than his face.
“Hit all three of us till you can’t pull another punch if it makes you feel better,” Ben added in complete earnestness. “You need to do something. You’re about ready to explode.”
Joseph balled his fists and sucked in a slow breath, trying to hold his mounting frustration at bay. Since yesterday he’d felt like a tightly coiled spring begging for release. The reality of his inadequacy had hit him full force, and since then he’d been fighting just to stay clear of the bitter rage that nipped at his heels. In the past if he were angry, he might’ve laid a well-aimed ax to logs, splitting wood till he dropped, but now he couldn’t even seem to make it around his house without knocking something over or bumping into a wall.
Last night he’d successfully warded off his brothers when they’d shown up on his doorstep. But this morning they wouldn’t be put off. For the past thirty minutes Ben, Aaron and Zach had been trying to get him to talk about yesterday. They’d said that Miss Ellickson wouldn’t divulge a thing, but that Julia had given away plenty. She’d been loose-lipped all over town.
If he needed a reason to be mad, that definitely could’ve been it, but for some reason he didn’t really give a coyote’s hide. Whatever she’d said was probably true. He could hardly blame her for spouting off. Had he insisted that he be left alone to eat his meal, then she wouldn’t have had a thing to talk about.
Julia’s stories were to his benefit anyway. His blessed privacy would be ensured this way. No one would brave visiting if they knew how uncomfortable they’d be.
“Come on, Joe-boy, swing at one of us,” Aaron urged. “We’re standing right in front of you.”
“This is your chance, big brother,” came Zach’s low voice. At twenty, he was the youngest of the Drake brothers and had been striving to sow something other than wild oats. “I reckon you’ve probably been wantin’ to do this to me more than a time or two.”
“Ha! Are you giving us the opportunity, too?” Aaron guffawed. “Line on up, boys! Maybe we could knock some sense into Zach—keep him from making any more dirt-poor choices.”
Joseph could hear a scuffle in front of him and figured that Aaron was probably ruffling Zach’s hair or faking a punch. Like a couple of playful bear cubs, they were always messing around, but he knew it wouldn’t amount to much. Zach had made some bad decisions—decisions that had almost landed him in jail. They were just glad he was finally holding down a job as a ranch hand, and hadn’t gone the way of the third brother, Max, who’d taken off eight years ago with his inheritance and then some, and was living on the run.
“You two yahoos cut the bantering! We’re not here about Zach, we’re here about Joseph,” came Ben’s firm warning. “Come on, Joseph. We’re not kidding. Let loose—it’ll do you good.”
Joseph gave a low growl. “Would you three knock it off?”
Shaking his head, he pushed between them and with hands outstretched and clumsy, shuffling steps made his way to the dining table. He grasped the top rung of a chair, leaning heavily into it. “You might as well stop this charade. I’m not going to hit any of you. Never have, never will.”
Aaron came to stand beside him. “Maybe you need to haul out and hit us. We know you enough to see that you’re about ready to blow. I’ve never seen you so dog-gone angry.”
“I’m not allowed to be angry?” His jaw muscles tensed.
“No. It’s not that,” Aaron answered. “We can’t blame you at all for being angry. Can we, Ben?”
“Absolutely not.” Ben’s long strides brought him to flank Joseph’s other side, followed by Zach. “You’ve been calm and collected since your accident—handling things better than most people would. Believe me, I’ve seen folks go through far less, only with a mountain of ill-tempered attitude. I’m just glad to see you finally showing some kind of emotion.”
Pushing up to his full height, Joseph raked his fingers through his hair. “Well, then, what is it? Would you do me a favor and clue me in on what you’re getting at here, because so far you’re not making a lick of sense.”
After a long moment of silence Aaron spoke up. “Flat out, Joseph…we’re worried.”
“Worried? About what?” Shoving his hands on his hips, he shook his head. “If anyone should be worried here, it’s me. The three of you are acting like you just got kicked in the head by a horse.” Waving his hand in the air, he yelled, “Quick! Get a doctor!” Then he knocked the side of his head with his hand. “Oh wait! You are the doctor.”
“Don’t try to dodge the attention like you always do,” Ben retorted, clearing his throat. “Now listen, we’re here, in part, because we’re worried about Miss Ellickson.”
He jammed his hands on his hips and furrowed his brow. “Miss Ellickson?”
Just thinking about the mess he’d made of dinner yesterday sent shame, thick as mud, coursing through his veins. But then like a flag of warning, concern for Miss Ellickson rose inside him. “What about Miss Ellickson? Has something happened?”
“She’ll be here any minute now. And Ben, Zach and I—we’re here to make sure you plan on being civil to her.”
He gave a short harrumph. “You don’t think I will?”
“I don’t know. You tell me,” Ben answered in a no-nonsense tone. “Like I said yesterday, you’ve always been a gentleman in the past, but as angry as you are, we don’t want you scaring her off. She’s come a long way to work with you.”
Another day with her definitely didn’t sit well with him. Not at all. Last night he’d barely gotten a wink of sleep thinking about her. He’d been bracing himself for her return and now here his brothers were, showing more concern for her than loyalty to him.
He felt trapped. Trapped in his home. Trapped in his body. Trapped in a fear so unfamiliar.
Taunting disorientation blanketed him and he struggled to steady himself against the unnerving effects. “What would make you think that I’m going to scare her off, anyway?”
Ben slid a chair over the hardwood floor and sat down with a weighted thud, Zach and Aaron following his move. “Oh, you wouldn’t intentionally do that—I don’t think, anyway. But believe me, you can be intimidating even when you’re not angry.”
“Yeah. It’s like the Red Sea parting every time you walk through a crowd,” Aaron quipped with a chuckle. “Wish I had that effect.”
Joseph tightened his grip on the chair. “I’m not the one who invited her here. When you mentioned the idea in the first place, I made it clear how I felt. But then you showed up with her in tow, pushing me into this whole thing. I went through with it yesterday and I’ll do the same again today, but I’m telling you, I’m just going through the motions.”
When Aaron reached over and grabbed Joseph’s arm, Joseph flinched at the unexpected touch. His brothers meant well—Ben had gone above and beyond in his care of Joseph. Aaron had been carrying twice his usual load in the shop, and Zach had risked losing his tenuous position as a ranch hand to help out. They were doing so much, but nothing they could do right now would make him feel better. True, he could batter them bloody, but somehow he knew it wouldn’t touch the strange bitterness and pain that had settled deep in his heart.
Ben squeezed Joseph’s forearm. “You don’t have to like the training and you don’t even have to like Miss Ellickson. All we’re asking is that you be civil to her and give her a chance.”
Oh, he’d give her a chance all right. He’d suffer through two more weeks of this. She might even show him something that could make the time bearable. But if he had his way, she’d be gone after he returned from Denver to see the doctor. It didn’t matter where she went—she could even stay in Boulder for all he cared—he just didn’t want to need her.
Joseph lowered himself to a chair, set on hiding his raw emotions from his brothers. “All I can say is that I hope she’s not disappointed when I don’t need her after all. Seems like an awful long way to travel to work for only a couple of weeks.”
When he heard Ben clear his throat, his pulse began a rapid beat in his ears. He could imagine what Ben would say next, so he quickly added, “And you can breathe easy. You have my word…I’ll be on my best behavior. I’ll be a veritable welcome wagon from here on out.”
Mr. Drake stood in front of Katie, his tall, tightly muscled frame filling the doorway. “Come in.”
Come in? Katie silently mouthed as she peered up at him to see one of his hands hooked over the top of the door, the other gesturing for her to enter. Since yesterday she’d prepared for a goodbye fare-thee-well, sure that he would refuse further training, but now he’d invited her to—to come in?
She’d prayed all night long that he wouldn’t give up, and if he did, she’d try to persuade him otherwise. Terrified of going home, she needed a reason to stay here in Colorado. But also, after meeting Mr. Drake yesterday, she wanted desperately to help him find freedom again.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice steadier than she felt.
With an armload of books, she squeezed by him, acutely aware of his solid form so near hers. When she removed her pale straw bonnet and hung it on a coat hook, her attention was drawn to the floor where a Bible lay sprawled open. Her breath caught as she remembered hearing something crash against the door yesterday. She tenderly scooped up the Bible, its cover worn with the passage of time and its pages yellowed and frayed from use. Carefully cradling it against her chest with the other books, Katie steadied her wavering emotions. “Your Bible. You must have dropped it.”
Without a word, he quietly latched the door.
“I’ll just put it over here on the mantel for you.” After she’d laid it on the beautifully crafted mantel, she turned and noticed Boone lying beside one of the wingback chairs. “Well, good morning, Boone. How are you this fine morning?” Kneeling beside his massive head, she held out her hand to him.
Katie smiled as he pressed his big, wet nose into her palm and stared up at her with expressive brown eyes. After giving her a wet kiss, he flopped his head down on the wood floor with a dull thud. She smoothed the unruly hair on top of his head. “I certainly hope this means we’re on friendly terms.”
Still smiling, she rose and returned to where she’d left Mr. Drake standing. She nervously fingered the row of silver buttons trailing down her high-necked white blouse. “And how are you today, Mr. Drake? Are we on friendly terms, too?”
He pushed away from the door, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. “I suppose you were wondering if I’d call it off?”
“To be perfectly candid, the thought had crossed my mind.” Threading her fingers together in front of her, she added, “I was very much hoping you would continue with the training.”
He jammed his hands into his pockets, his jaw muscle ticking. “I don’t quit things that easily, but even if I did, I have three brothers holding my feet to the fire.”
“They must care a great deal.”
When he just nodded, she walked to the kitchen where the bold scent of fresh coffee met her squarely. Setting her books on the table, she smoothed her pale yellow cotton skirt. “Smells like you made coffee. Do you mind if I help myself?”
“Go right ahead.” He shuffled to the table, his hands splayed in front of him. “My brothers were over earlier this morning and Ben made a pot.” Reaching for a chair, he added, “I’m warning you, he makes it strong enough to wake the dead.”
“Perfect. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I must not be used to my new surroundings yet,” she half lied. In truth she’d lain awake thinking of how she could best help him.
And how she could keep this job.
She couldn’t bear the thought of going home already—too many dark clouds threatened on the horizon there. Here, she had hope that the sun’s warmth would shine on her face again. With or without a job her aunt and uncle would welcome her to stay, but Katie would never think to impose on their goodness overly long, especially if she wasn’t earning her keep.
“Mr. Drake, could I get you a cup, too?”
He shifted nervously, then reached out to his adorable dog who sauntered up beside him, his big, furry feet sweeping across the wood floor as though he wore heavy boots. “Sure. Thanks.”
As she scanned the cupboard shelves for two mugs, she wondered what had come over Mr. Drake. The contempt he’d readily shown yesterday was barely visible today—in fact, she might even go so far as to say that he was congenial.
Spotting a row of mugs on the third shelf, she said, “They’re a little out of reach.”
He stood, quirking one brow. “What?”
“The mugs… I’m not tall enough to reach them.”
Lifting his head in silent recognition, he moved toward her, his movements jerky and uncertain. When he’d pulled them from the shelf, he turned, almost knocking into her.
“Here you are,” he said, holding the mugs out to her.
Katie squeezed back against the counter as he towered over her. An eerie chill crept up her spine as she struggled to block out the haunting memories that assaulted her. But the way Mr. Drake stood over her, trapping her and closing her in like he was, she wanted to scream and escape from the suffocating confinement.
Gulping back the bile that rose in her throat, she snatched the mugs from him with trembling hands. “Thank you.”
She slipped around him and crossed to the stove. As she steadied her hands enough to pour the steaming liquid, she willed her heart to stop pounding. Setting the pot back on the burner, her brow beaded with a cold sweat and her vision narrowed. She fought to even out her short gasping breaths, clutching the stove handle as though it were some lifeline.
Katie reminded herself over and over that he was not Frank Fowler, the man who’d set into motion a year of turmoil that she could share with no one. She’d had to carry the burden alone and at times it threatened to shatter her under its weight.
Frantically grasping for some thread of hope, she struggled to drag herself away from the edge of despair. Like a faint, saving call, she could hear a comforting voice, reminding herself that she was safe now. Hundreds of miles away from Fowler and from the wicked sneer that would stretch across his face each time he’d see her.
Squeezing her eyes shut against the images, she felt her stomach tense. She’d thought that putting distance between herself and home would eliminate moments like this, but the miles had done nothing. The memories were stronger than ever. The fear, consuming. The images had struck with the force of a landslide, unearthing every raw emotion she’d attempted to bury.
“Miss Ellickson?” Mr. Drake’s tentative voice broke through her swirling thoughts.
Rising above the fray of images barraging her mind, Katie slowly spun back around. “Here you are.” Her voice was thin and strained. Her hands still quivered as she set down the cups of coffee. “Here’s your coffee—be careful, it’s hot.”
She lightly grasped his hands and directed them to the stone mug. His hands, large and work-worn in hers, felt strong enough to ward off any enemy, yet gentle enough to soothe a baby.
And brought an immediate, tangible calm to Katie.
The fear that had mounted so quickly, rocking her off kilter, dispelled just as fast. A shaky sigh escaped her lips.
“Miss Ellickson?” His brow furrowed. “Are you all right?”
Sinking into a seat across from him, she took a slow sip of coffee. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? I’d get you something to eat,” he said, gesturing toward the cupboards, “but I’m not sure of what’s here anymore. If you can find something…”
“Thank you, but Aunt Marta made sure I ate this morning,” she managed, cupping her hands around the warm mug and staring at him from over the rim. She noticed, for the first time, how his deep chestnut hair hung in playful waves across the white bandages on his forehead, and the way a stubborn cowlick kicked a thick clutch of hair to the side, giving him an innocent look.
Something about him was so captivating, intriguing, almost demanding of her attention. Was it the confidence he exuded in spite of his fear? Was it the way he filled the room with his strong, quiet presence? Or was it his undeniable good looks?
Eager to distract her thoughts, she looked away, noticing a long cane leaning in the corner. She hadn’t seen it there yesterday, but then with all of the commotion she easily could have missed it. “I see you have a cane?”
When he paused, she couldn’t miss the way he turned his head away from the object as though it were an offending image in his home. “Ben brought it by this morning.”
Her heart pulled tight. “Well, if you’re up to it, maybe the best use of our time today would be to help you get more comfortable around your home. We’ll count out steps between rooms and furniture—that sort of thing.”
Bowing his head, he fingered the edge of the mug. “So the walls and furniture don’t find me first?”
“Exactly.”
He raised his chin. “We might as well get it over with.”
Although resignation hung heavy in his voice, Katie could hardly believe he’d so readily agreed. She stared for a long moment, not quite sure how to take his cooperative agreement.
“You’re awfully quiet. Are you still there?” He traced his fingertips slowly over the table’s smooth surface.
Katie shook off her surprise, then pushed up from the table. “I’m sorry. I apologize if my mind is elsewhere this morning.”
Nodding, he rose from the table.
“We’ll begin at your front door, counting steps from there first. You can use the cane for—”
“For firewood, maybe.” He threw a scowl her way, then shuffled toward the door.
“Well, now, that’s not a very agreeable thing to say,” she threw back at him.
“That’s because I’m not feeling overly compliant, Miss Ellickson.” He leaned a shoulder against the door. “At least not as far as that thing goes.”
“Using that thing might prevent you from a mishap.” She perched her hands on her hips, surprised and strangely relieved at his show of stubbornness. “Back at the school we liken a cane to eyes. It will help you see where you’re going.”
He gave a sarcastic laugh. “Well, we’re not at the school and I don’t plan on being this way forever, thank you.”
Crossing her arms at her chest, she eyed him. “Stubborn, aren’t you?”
Her heart squeezed at his insistence that things were going to change for him. She hoped, for his sake, they would.
He raised his chin the slightest bit. “So I’ve been told.”
“Then you can take my elbow, like we did yesterday. It’s the preferred way to navigate as opposed to holding one’s hand or being pushed along. But if you use the cane, as well,” she added, hoping to appeal to his greater sense of reason, “you’ll be able to tell what might be lying in your path.”
“No, thanks.” His curt response and the way his jaw tensed left her void of any argument.
“Why don’t you tell me about the layout of your home? Don’t be vague about where your furniture is located, so that you’ll have a clear picture in your mind.”
With a slow exhale, he made a detailed description, his tone reminiscent at times as he described his home to a T.
“Perfect. Now, try to relax and walk at a normal pace and I’ll match your stride.” When she gently guided his hand to her arm, a tingling warmed her skin. She fought to ignore the sensation, resolute in her desire to remain professional. “I’ll do the counting and make sure you don’t run into anything.”
He tensed beside her, his grip tightening slightly. “All right. But I’ll warn you that I’m a little shaky on this.”
“You’ll do fine. Trust your instincts. If you’re aware, you should be able to sense when something is in your way.”
Cautiously he took a step while she began counting. Then with each step following, his grip tightened as though she alone kept him from falling off a steep precipice. His hand trembled. His breathing grew shallow.
At eighteen steps and just inches from the back door, she stopped. “Now, use your hand that is outstretched to see how close you are.”
Perspiration beaded above his full lips. With one hand he clutched her arm, with the other he tentatively reached out, groping for the unseen. When his trembling fingers brushed against the wall, he exhaled a broken sigh.
Covering his hand at her elbow, her heart squeezed at seeing how much this had cost him. She peered up at Mr. Drake, taking in the stark change in his demeanor from just moments ago, when stubbornness waved like a proud battalion flag, to now, when raw fear weighed his shoulders and head down low.
She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Very well done. Your pace was just fine.”
He slid quivering fingers over his lips, then raised a fist to his bandaged eyes. “You’d think I could make it across the room without breaking a sweat,” he ground out. “I may as well have been scaling a mountain.”
“Don’t be discouraged.” She squeezed his hand. “It takes time getting used to all of this.”
“It’s my own home. I should be able to walk across the room without trembling in my boots.”
“You’re doing just fine—especially since you’ve only been up for a couple of days.” She turned to face him. “Taking everything into account, you’re doing very well.”
His face softened some, the corner of his lips lifting slightly. “You’re Little Miss Sunshine, aren’t you?”
A warm blush crept up her cheeks. She smiled at his comment, surprised once again by his congeniality. “Better that than gloomy.”
“Far as I can tell, you could never be accused of that,” he replied, his hands still trembling some.
“There’s a bright side to everything.”
“What could be positive about this?” He gestured to his bandaged eyes.
Hugging her arms to her chest, she stared at him, the way he wore frustration like an unwanted old coat, and desperation like an acquaintance of ill repute. “You’re right, Mr. Drake. Your injury is not something easily reckoned with. Not having your sight is certainly nothing short of difficult, and I’m sure you wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Even an enemy.” Katie tried to steady the quiver in her voice. “But even as uncertain as things are right now, you can focus on where you’ve been or on where you’re going.”
His lips formed a tight, distressed line. “I wish I could. But taking a step forward when I can’t see where I’m going…it scares me to death.”
At his admission, sadness rose within Katie. She was shocked at the tiniest crack he’d allowed into himself, an opening that gave a glimpse into his silent battle.
Threading her fingers together in front of her, she searched for the right words. “I know this isn’t easy. In fact, I’m not sure how I could face such a thing. If you don’t regain your sight, there’ll be challenges. It won’t be easy, but I promise you it will be rewarding.” Katie gathered a bit more boldness, then added, “And if you’ll allow me, I’ll be here beside you to help you find your way to the other side.”
Chapter Four
Embarrassed once again, Joseph’s face flamed hot. He was sure he’d suffered more humiliation in the past five days than he had his entire life.
He bit back a groan, trying to ignore his frustration. Having worked with Miss Ellickson for almost a week, why was he having such a hard time doing a simple task like pouring water from a pitcher? If he didn’t fully regain his vision, how would he ever be able to work in the shop again, handling sharp tools?
“Here, let me help you,” Miss Ellickson offered, the quiet calm in her voice beckoning him like a peaceful stream. “Sometimes trying too hard makes things more difficult. Now, lightly grasp the glass like this.” She gently positioned his fingers around the glass, her touch soft and soothing. As she slipped his forefinger at the last knuckle over the rim, she said, “Don’t hold too tight. Keep a light touch. Remember how that feels and now find the pitcher.”
Deeply concentrating, he was determined not to spill again as he slid a hand along the counter to find the pitcher. When his fingers connected with the stone pitcher, he noticed how it was beaded with perspiration from the hot August day.
“Got it,” he confirmed.
Once he’d painstakingly set the lip of the pitcher over the rim of the glass, he poured the water. And when the cool liquid reached his finger, he pulled the pitcher back and sighed.
“There you go, that was perfect! Not one drop spilled.” The reassurance in her voice brightened his gruff mood enough that he even relaxed a little. “See? You can do it.”
He angled his head down to Katie. “Thanks, Sunshine.” Joseph smiled at her, hoping that she noticed, because so far this week it seemed as if all he’d done was scowl. In turn, she’d never once gotten impatient or cross with him. “Always the encourager, aren’t you?”
“You deserve it. You’re working very hard.”
When she gave his hand a light squeeze, he couldn’t help but wonder what she looked like. “You know, I figure that if I was a cat, I’d be dead.”
“What?” she asked on a laugh.
“I’d be dead from curiosity.” Raising his brows, he took one step closer to her. “You see, Miss Ellickson, you’re the only new person I’ve met since my accident. And your appearance—I mean the way you look—is still a mystery to me.”
The air seemed to grow warm and thick between them. His entire being hummed in full awareness of her presence beside him.
“Good thing you’re not a cat, then,” she finally responded, her voice sounding tight, strained.
Joseph gave an almost imperceptible nod, wishing that his brothers would indulge him with a few words about her physical appearance. They’d sure been vocal about him treating her well, and being a man of his word, he’d been on his best behavior. Although at this point he didn’t really need encouragement to do that—Miss Ellickson was easy to like.
He decided that when he returned from Denver with his vision intact, she was the first person he wanted to lay eyes on. If her appearance mirrored at all what he’d grown to understand of her character, he was sure she’d be beautiful.
Wouldn’t that be the irony of it all…a beautiful woman watching him stumble through simple things.
Leaning back against the counter, he momentarily cringed. “So, what next, Sunshine?”
When she stifled a laugh, his lips curved into a smile again. For some reason, the sound of her light laughter warmed his heart and made him want to make her smile again.
“Is this your name for me? Sunshine?”
“If the shoe fits.” He recalled different moments throughout the week when her encouragement had been the balm he’d needed to keep going. To keep moving forward toward normalcy, however meager it was compared to independence.
“You’re very kind, but I hardly think I warrant anything quite so grand.” He could hear her gathering some papers on the table.
Four steps and Joseph had crossed to the table, noticing for the first time how much less halting his footsteps sounded compared to just a few days ago. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
Unbidden, a deep fondness for her rose within him, and that unnerved him. Because somewhere along the line he’d missed how attached he was becoming to her. Was it because she’d given him hope at a time when things were bleak? Was it because she was so selfless in her work with him? It was just a job for her, wasn’t it? Maybe she had this effect on other students, too.
Or was it something more?
If so, he’d have to guard himself. She didn’t deserve his strained indifference, but he couldn’t let himself grow any fonder of her. If he didn’t regain his sight, his future as a single man would be irrevocably sealed because he wasn’t about to burden anyone with his blindness.
Her voice finally broke through the raw, unsettling revelation. “Well, Mr. Drake, why don’t we—”
“If it’s all right with you, would you mind calling me Joseph?” Guarding himself or not, he couldn’t stand another day of being addressed as Mr. Drake. He jammed his hands into his pockets and stood tall. “Mr. Drake is, well, it’s just too formal for my liking.”
She paused for a brief moment. “All right, then. Joseph it is—if you’ll call me Katie.”
Or Sunshine, he thought, helpless to keep his emotions from running away.
If Joseph had been planted on the pulpit with flowers growing out of his Sunday clothes, he wouldn’t have felt more conspicuous than he did right now.
He shifted uncomfortably in the wooden pew, wishing he’d just ignored Ben’s challenge for him to attend church. Each step away from his cocooned world and nearer the church building had brought him closer to people’s stares, even if he couldn’t see them. Having arrived a few minutes before the service started, he couldn’t avoid being a sideshow for curious onlookers or a conversation piece walking in with a bandage wrapped around his head.
He sat stock straight in the second row of pews, the back of the bench hitting well below his shoulder blades. Even though Ben’s tall frame was close to him and he’d kept a steady flow of whispered small talk going since they’d sat down, Joseph might as well have been alone. Inky darkness seemed to enfold him, isolating him in a room crowded with friends and acquaintances.
He shrugged off his uncertainty as faint comments regarding his attendance wafted to his ears. Joseph gritted his teeth. There was certainly nothing wrong with his hearing.
As much as he wanted to remain inconspicuous, he’d always seemed to attract attention in a room, especially that of women. It sure wasn’t something he set out to do. Julia had been no different. She’d sidled up to him like moss on a log as soon as she’d met him. But since his accident, certain little things, like her high-pitched voice, grated on his nerves.
Thoughts of seeing her again settled on him like cold rain. She’d not stopped by since that first day he’d worked with Katie, and Joseph wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t needed to see Julia that day to know that she was madder than a hornet. He could hear it in her sharp tone, the swish of her skirts and the brisk clip of her heels.
A few times when he lay awake listening to all the sounds of the night, he’d think about his relationship with her. Would she want to see him again if he didn’t gain back total sight? And sight or no, did he even want to pursue anything other than friendship with her? He just couldn’t ignore how ill at ease he’d felt with Julia in the last three weeks.
When he’d first met her, he’d been intrigued by her vivacious, flamboyant ways. Maybe it was an eastern air about her, or maybe it was just Julia. Whatever the case, it was as though he could see what she was really like, now that he couldn’t see her. And he wasn’t sure that he liked what he saw.
Shrugging off his glum musings, he focused on the sun’s warmth pouring through the row of tall windows to his left. Thoughts of Katie filtered into his mind, spreading calm through him like warm honey. He couldn’t deny that he missed her presence by his side today. She’d given him a tangible confidence in moving about his home, eating without incident and even doing some cooking.
Was it her expertise she’d been so eager to give him that made him feel alive again? Or was it something more?
Katie’s heart clenched tight inside her chest when the pastor spoke in his sermon about trusting God. Like a broken-down wagon ransacked along a trail, she was almost empty of trust. Could she ever get beyond feeling like she alone must protect herself? It seemed as though God hadn’t protected her, but instead had allowed the vilest of things to happen to her—and by a man who claimed to serve God!
She’d trusted and been betrayed. Offered goodwill and been preyed upon. She’d been wounded to her core and endured it alone in shame for all of these months.
When Uncle Sven had wired her about coming out here, she’d jumped at the chance to leave Iowa—leave her past behind. And after meeting Joseph, she knew she’d made the right decision.
As the service concluded with a familiar hymn, Katie rose from the pew and stood beside Ellie and Aaron. She felt a pull at her heart, thankful for the quick friendship that had developed with Ellie. From the moment she’d met the young woman a week ago, they’d bonded like blood sisters.
Although Katie joined in the hymn, her focus was constantly drawn to Joseph. He stood taller than those around him, his chestnut waves stirring in the warm breeze that blew through the tall windows. His shoulders impressed her with their broad and sturdy strength. On occasion she even glimpsed the resolute set of his jawline.
The pastor’s voice finally broke her reverie. “I want to remind everyone of the Glory Days celebration in three weeks. Mrs. Duncan is in charge of it again this year,” he announced, gesturing to the round-faced woman who stood waving to the congregation as though she were on parade. “So, if you’d like to volunteer, talk with her after the service.”
Katie sensed an excitement stirring in the room as the parishioners began filing out of the white clapboard church.
Edging her way out to the narrow aisle, she glanced at Joseph one last time and her stomach dropped. Miss Julia Cranston stood gazing up at him, her silky dark tresses and striking smile punctuating the room with icy elegance.
A stab of protectiveness shot through Katie’s heart. Was Miss Cranston saying thoughtless things yet again? Katie couldn’t imagine that the woman set out to be hurtful, but some people just had a knack for saying the wrong things.
Watching the interaction, she wanted to shove her way between the young beauty and Joseph, but she restrained herself. Clutching the pew in front of her, she felt almost giddy when the woman gave up with a shrug after just a few moments.
Inordinately relieved, Katie exited the church with Ellie.
“Did you see how Ethan Hofmann looked at you, Katie?” Ellie inquired, her cheeks flushed pink, matching the tiny rosebuds dotting her simple white cotton dress.
Katie stopped at the bottom of the steps, waiting for Ellie to catch her breath. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Who’s Ethan…Hofmann?”
Ellie’s hands went to her stomach and gently held the swell. “Ethan Hofmann. The blacksmith’s son. He was sitting to your right, several rows up, and he spent the entire service staring back at you.” Her crystal blue eyes grew wide. “His neck will be giving him fits tomorrow—and it serves him right!”
An icy quiver traveled down Katie’s spine. Over the past year, she’d received bone-chilling stares in her church back home. It was almost as though Frank Fowler, a well-respected deacon, innately knew when no one was looking, when his leering gaze and snapping black eyes wouldn’t set gossipy lips flapping.
She pushed aside the unwelcome memories and gave a weak laugh. “I don’t even know the man, Ellie.”
“That young man didn’t even have the decency to hide his infatuation. He was way too bold, if you ask me,” Ellie insisted as she steadily beelined for a towering pine tree, its tall, weighted branches stretching wide. Cautiously sidestepping exposed roots, she turned and leaned heavily against the trunk, her cheeks flushed as though she’d just walked miles.
“Miss Ellickson, is my wife fussing over you like an old mother hen?” Aaron teased from behind her.
She turned to see an amused, boyish grin plastered across Aaron’s face. Bowing her head, she took in the invigorating scent of fresh pine needles beneath her feet. “She’s just keeping a watchful eye on things.”
“I’m not the only one keeping an eye on things.” Ellie hooked an arm through her husband’s, snuggling up next to him. “Darling, you’re going to have to speak with Ethan Hofmann. He’s acting like a foolish schoolboy. He could hardly take his eyes off Katie during church.” When she hooked Katie’s arm also, Katie couldn’t help but smile.
Aaron winked at her as he patted his wife’s hand. “I’m sure Katie can take care of herself.”
Katie swallowed hard and schooled her expression. Had Aaron known how brutally untrue those words really were he never would’ve said them. She’d tried to fight Frank Fowler off, but her meager five feet four inches was no match to Frank’s size and his evil determination.
“But if you ever do need help or have any concerns, Katie, just let Ben, Zach or me know. Joseph, too. He may not be able to see right now, but he’s always had a way of bringing order to things without bruising a single knuckle. People around these parts think twice about crossing him.”
Ellie sighed, slumping her shoulders. “Well, I still think you should talk with Ethan about this. After all, Katie’s a young, beautiful unmarried woman. The single men around here seem to lose all common sense when it comes to someone like her.”
Giving Ellie’s hand a warm squeeze, Katie pulled away. “It’s fine. I didn’t notice the man.”
That was true. She hadn’t noticed him because she couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Joseph.
Glancing momentarily back at the church, she spotted him standing alone, and her heartbeat quickened inside her chest.
“Ellie-girl, I think you’ve about worn yourself out for one day,” Aaron cautioned in a most gentle and loving way. “I’m gonna get you back home where you can rest. And don’t you go arguing with me either.” Katie turned to see Aaron wrap an arm around his wife’s slight shoulders, then gently settled her back against the tree. “Stay here while I check on Joseph, then we’ll be on our way.”
“I’d be glad to do that,” Katie offered, noticing, too, how Ellie appeared nearly spent. Her face was flushed and her brow beaded with perspiration. “Really. It’s no trouble at all.”
“Are you sure? I just want to make sure he’s all right.” Aaron glanced around the churchyard. “I thought Ben would be out here by now.”
Katie gave Ellie a quick hug, then turned to Aaron. “Just get Ellie home. I’ll check in with Joseph.”
“Good enough.” Aaron nodded.
“We’ll have you out for supper some night this week,” Ellie offered as her husband swept her up in his arms. She hooked her arms around her Aaron’s neck, her laughter resounding like a bird’s joyous spring song as he carried her toward their wagon.
Smiling, Katie waved. “I’ll look forward to that.”
Walking toward Joseph, she stared through a shimmer of tears, wishing that she, too, could know that kind of love.
But who would ever want her the way she was…used?
That horrifying reality never seemed to lose its sharp sting. Her heart clenched with overwhelming sadness, but she couldn’t give in to it.
Ignoring the old familiar dirge, she glanced up to see Joseph sitting on the steps, his hands clasped in a tight ball between his knees. He was probably trying not to be noticed, but there was nothing inconspicuous about him. Like honey to a bee, he drew every bit of her attention with his commanding, masculine build encased in a stark white shirt and dark bronze britches, and his chestnut hair hanging loosely about his head. She barely took notice of the air of discontent tainting his features.
“Good morning, Joseph.” She slowed to a stop in front of him. “It’s a splendid morning, isn’t it?”
“Miss Ellickson?” He stood and clung to the railing.
“Thought you could get rid of me for the weekend, did you?”
His face relaxed ever so slightly as he slid his hands off the rail and tucked them in his pockets. “Well, not exactly. I just didn’t know you were here this morning, that’s all.”
“I was sitting in the back with Ellie, Aaron and my aunt and uncle.”
“Oh.” Was that a tinge of disappointment she heard in his voice? “I—I was sitting with Ben.”
“Yes. I noticed. Are you still waiting for him?” She briefly scanned the yard for Ben.
“Actually I was hoping to find Aaron. Ben’s inside meeting with Mrs. Duncan about the upcoming celebration. He said it might be a while, so I told him I’d get Aaron to walk me home. Or Zach if I can round him up.”
Katie hugged her arms to her chest. “Ellie wasn’t feeling well, so Aaron took her home. But if you don’t mind, I could walk with you.”
He shook his head. “No, that’s all right. You don’t need to do that on your day off.”
“It’s no problem at all. I’d be glad to walk with you. Besides, it’s such a beautiful day.” Holding her elbow out in front of him, she offered, “Here’s my arm. You just set the pace.” When he reached out and found her arm, his touch sent stirring warmth through her.
He started forward at a leisurely pace. “It galls me how tired I am from just this one outing.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It takes a great deal of mental energy to do what you’ve done today.”
“Well, I can tell you one thing, Tuesday of next week can’t come fast enough. When I get these bandages off and can see again, I doubt I’ll close my eyes for a week straight.”
She hoped that he was right. That he would see again.
Noticing the curious stares of a few of the church folks who still lingered on the grounds, she asked, “You don’t think people will talk, do you?” She stepped around a bed of fragrant lavender. “I mean, with me walking you home?”
He came to a stop and tilted his head down at her. “I’m sure that by now they’re aware that you’re my instructor. Word gets around fast here. But if it’s uncomfortable for you, I could just wait for Ben.”
“Oh, no,” she said, a little too eagerly. “I mean, of course it’s not uncomfortable.”
With a smile tipping the corners of his mouth, he nodded, then continued an even stroll toward his home.
“Joseph. Katie, wait up!” a voice called from behind them.
Katie turned to see Ben jogging toward them.
“Sorry about leaving you stranded.” Ben clapped Joseph on the arm and pulled in a long breath. “I got tied up with Mrs. Duncan and you know how that can go. Pastor Winters almost paid a hefty ransom to free me. At the rate she’s going, you’d think she was planning a presidential inauguration.”
“Mrs. Duncan isn’t a woman to miss details,” Joseph said, leaning slightly toward Katie.
“That’s very diplomatic of you, Joseph. Personally, I’d rather strain at gnats all day than iron out details with that woman.” Ben gave a wide-eyed look. “I hope you’re in for a fast walk, Joseph, because I’ve got to hightail it out to the Randalls’ place. Jeb laid an ill-aimed ax to his leg yesterday and I just got word that it’s not looking too good.”
Katie winced. “That sounds bad.”
“When I left him late last night I said I’d be back later this afternoon, but I’d feel better if I got out there as soon as I can. Besides that, I’ve just acquired a couple of stray kittens that showed up in my barn yesterday.”
“Your newest four-legged patients?” Joseph asked.
“Yep. And they’re in need of round-the-clock attention right now. I have them bedded down in a crate beside my bed.”
Joseph smiled and focused down at her. “Ben’s always taking in strays and doctoring them back to health.”
“Aww…”
“I can’t help it. They just show up.”
“That’s so sweet of you,” Katie said, her throat going tight with instant emotion. She loved animals.
“Yeah, well, what else is a fella to do?” Ben remarked as if he were trying to step out of the focus.
“Go on ahead. Katie said she’d walk with me.” The sideways grin Joseph gave her set her pulse skittering. “That is, if you still don’t mind?”
She shook her head. “Not at all.”
“Good, it’s settled.” Ben clapped his hands, then came forward and gave Joseph’s arm a quick squeeze. “Thanks again for coming with me today.”
Joseph nodded. “By the way, you sent the wire for my appointment in Denver Tuesday, right?”
Ben passed a wary glance to Katie and her heart instantly squeezed with compassion for Joseph.
“Nine o’clock Tuesday morning,” Ben confirmed.
A tightness strained Joseph’s features. Over the course of the week, she’d discovered from the few times he’d spoken of the appointment or his vision, he’d become instantly irritable.
Ben glanced at his pocket watch and snapped it shut again. “By the way, Katie, you’ve made quite an impression on Aaron and Ellie. She can’t say enough good things about you.” On a wink, he turned and jogged away from them.
Katie felt a warm blush color her cheeks as they walked in silence for several moments.
“He’s right, you know…”
“Right about what?”
“Ellie has really taken to you.” His voice was as low and soothing as a cool breeze on a hot day. “Last night when the two of them stopped by, she couldn’t stop talking about you. Said you were beautiful, inside and out.”
Embarrassment flamed hot now. Her knees went weak and her mouth grew dry. She couldn’t seem to be around him without noticing every little thing about him and being affected in ways she’d never experienced.
But she was Joseph’s teacher. Nothing else. She had to keep telling herself that.
“Sorry if I embarrassed you.” His deep, mellow voice had countless other effects on her besides soothing her. His voice incited a warm quiver in her stomach and a slow, steady tremble up her spine. “When Ellie said that, it blew the very first image I had of you when Ben called you up from the street.”
She slowed to a stop. “There’s a step here. Gauge its height with your foot, then move ahead.” When he continued without incident, she went on to ask, “What image did you have?”
He puffed out his cheeks on a big sigh. “Oh, just that you were a prune-faced old woman with a sharp nose and even sharper tongue. Good thing I didn’t ride away into the sunset with that impression all week.”
She smiled at his description, recalling how sour and gruff he’d been when she’d first met him. “Likewise, it’s a good thing I didn’t hold you to my first impression, either.”
Wincing, he pulled at his collar as though it was suddenly too tight for comfort.
“For a while there, I thought my uncle’s high opinion of you was overrated.” She came to a stop and stared up at him. “But now, I think that it might just be underrated.”
Chapter Five
“If there’s one thing I cannot abide, it is an overbearing woman!” Julia proclaimed with a flourish. “Mrs. Duncan…why, the way that woman prattles on, you’d think she owned half the town. The woman is overbearing, I tell you. Overbearing!”
Joseph slid a hand across his mouth, masking his grin. He figured it took an overbearing person to know one, and Julia was close to an expert in the ways of overbearing women.
“Mrs. Duncan does—”
“She was nothing if not imperious,” she interrupted with a terse huff. “Out of the goodness of my heart, I offered my valuable expertise in helping to organize the box social and barn dance for the Glory Days celebration. And she refused! Flat-out refused, I tell you.”
“Maybe she already has things arranged,” he offered in a lame attempt to console her.
He couldn’t imagine why she’d come looking for consolation from him. Between the meal catastrophe when she’d stormed off mad and the indifference he’d shown her at church yesterday, he sure didn’t expect her to try and cozy up to him again. But from the minute she’d barged into his solitude some fifteen minutes ago, she’d been as much as crawling into him, mining for sympathy.
He’d been sitting on his porch awaiting Katie’s arrival to start a second week of training when Julia’s taut, brisk steps brought her up the walk. Funny, the second he realized the footsteps weren’t Katie’s, disappointment crept over him like a dark cloud blocking out the sun’s warmth.
Training his ear to the street, he listened for Katie’s approach, feeling a strange sense of regret knowing he wouldn’t really need her after his appointment next week. When his vision returned, Katie wouldn’t have to. He had to admit, having her around every day had been nice. She’d gotten under his skin with her sweet but confident disposition, her sunny encouragement and the way she made him feel so at ease. So much like himself again.
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Pamela Nissen
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: When blindness strikes carpenter Joseph Drake, the prospect of a lifetime of darkness fills him with despair. But then his brother hires Katie Ellickson.The strong-willed, confident teacher knows what it′s like to be outcast, alone–and she won′t give up on Joseph, even when he′s ready to give up on himself. He thinks blindness is his most difficult obstacle, until he finds a bigger challenge–trying to reach Katie′s heart. Will she let him? Katie has secrets that she′s carried with her to the Rocky Mountains. And there′s a darkness of her own in her past, which she can′t escape for long….