Return To Little Hills
Return To Little Hills
Janice Macdonald
Home sweet home!Award-winning journalist Edie Robinson has come home to help out. But she's back for only a month. Much as she loves her family, that's all she can take of small-town life and her elderly mother's constant complaints: "Why can't you be like your married sister? Why did you buy the single-ply toilet paper? When are you going to settle down? No wonder you're forty and still don't have a husband."When Edie meets the new school principal, Peter Darling, she's determined to fight the instant attraction she feels. After all, her stay in Little Hills, Missouri, is only temporary, while Peter and his four young daughters are happy with their new home.But love has a way of changing perspectives. Now Edie's beginning to see her home, her familyand her futurethrough new eyes.
Zowee! Edie thought as she walked back across the campus to her mothers car. Zowee! Zowee! Zowee!
In the car she pulled off her jacket, tossed it onto the back seat, kicked off her heels, which had elevated her exactly to the level of Peter Darlings gray-green eyes, threw them into the back, too, and sat grinning idiotically at the cracked green vinyl-covered dashboard.
Zowee!
Shaking her head, she pulled down the driving mirror to look at her face: flushed scarlet. The car, she noted belatedly, was a furnace. She rolled down the drivers window, still seeing Peter Darlings face.
Zowee!
If every female in the place wasnt having indecent dreams about him, shedeat her press pass.
Dear Reader,
Sometimes I think that writing fiction is a little like making a patchwork quiltyou take a little of this, a piece of that and, oh yes, got to find a place for that little scrap. I felt that way as I wrote Return to Little Hills. While the characters, the situations and the locales are all fiction, I frequently found myself digging into the ragbag of my own life.
Okay, this is the time to sayI should probably underline this partthat my own elderly mother, while hard of hearing, is much more kind, understanding and all-around wonderful than Edies mother. Are you reading this, Mum? And my sister, Kathleen, isthankfullynothing at all like Viv. Okay, Kaff?
That said, though, I really enjoy writing about the dynamics of family relationships. Families are a source of incredible joy and comfort and, lets face it, have the unique capacity to get under our skin in no time flat, as my heroine, Edie, discovers when she returns to her hometown of Little Hills, Missouri.
I hope you enjoy Return to Little Hills. Please write to me at Janice Macdonald, P.O. Box 101, 136 East 8th Street, Port Angeles, WA 98362, or visit my Web site at www.janicemacdonald.net.
Oh, one more thing. If, like Edie (and myself), youre a gooey-butter-cake aficionado, send me your recipes! Ill try to publish a few on my Web site.
Best wishes,
Janice
Return to Little Hills
Janice Macdonald
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Kaff, with much love
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER ONE
DONT SNAP AT ME, Edie Robinsons mother said as Edie maneuvered Maudes elderly Chevrolet Nova into the parking lot of the Little Hills IGA. No one asked you to come back. Youre busy, we all know that. Youve got an important job. Nobody expects anything from you. All I said was I needed toilet paper
You told me four times, Mom.
Why would I have said limes? Maudes voice was indignant. I wouldnt know what to do with a lime if it bit me on the nose. I need toilet paper anddenture cleaner, she added in a conspiratorial whisper. But if youre going to snap at me, forget it. Viv will take me. Viv can always make time, not that she isnt busy, too, but all I have to do is pick up the phone and
Viv walks on water, Mom. I dont. Sarcastic, Maude would have shot back if shed heard anything more than a muffled jumble of words. Youve always been sarcastic, Edith. With her right hand, Edie massaged the knot of tension in the back of her neck that usually only hit her when she procrastinated on a deadline, and cruised the lot for a parking space close to the market entrance. She watched a woman in pink tights and a maternity top load groceries and three small kids into a minivan. God. Three kids and the woman had to be at least fifteen years younger than she was. Edie glanced in the rearview mirror, frowned at the vertical lines around her mouth and thought to hell with it. When the van finally pulled away, Edie slid into the spot, switched off the ignition and turned in the seat to look directly at her mother.
Maude was eighty and, despite the late-summer Missouri heat, wore a black woolen cardigan over a cotton housedress blooming with improbably vivid peonies. On her feet, little pink ballerina-style slippers and knee-high support hose. For some reason, the sight of Maudes tiny slipper-clad feet and swollen ankles made Edie want to weep. She reached over and scooped up Maudes left hand in her own. Maudes felt soft and almost boneless, fingers clutched around a wad of tissue. I didnt mean to snap at you, Edie said. Im sorry.
Her chin trembling, Maude scrabbled for the door handle. Youve always had a short temper, Edith. I said to Viv just the other day, I never know whats going to set Edith off. Youll have to come and open this door for me, it sticks. Youre just like your father in that way. She pushed ineffectively at the door. Viv said shed have Ray look at it
Mom, leave the door alone. Ill open it for you. You need to get rid of this damn car. Unless, she muttered facetiously, youre going to start driving again.
Ham. Maude clutched her purse close to her chest. Theyve got that sliced ham on sale. I like a slice of ham for dinner. Cant eat anything too heavy before I go to bed, or Im up all night with heartburn. Viv tell you about the new principal at Rays school?
She mentioned him. An understatement. From the moment Viv picked her up at the airport the night before, her sister had talked about little else. Peter Darling: English, wife died of cancer, four small children, collects butterflies, Ray says he wont last. Too pie-in-the sky. Twenty years of journalism had trained her to isolate and retain the salient facts of any information she was given. Shed retained these particular snippets because the idea of raising four small children with or without a spouse appalled her and because shed probably meet Peter Darling tomorrow when she gave a talk to students at the school. Her brother-in-law, the assistant principal, had hit her with the request late last night and shed agreed before she realized she didnt particularly want to do it.
Too late now. She grabbed the keys, got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side. Waves of heat rose up from the parking lot. A line of sweat trickled down her back, pasting her cotton shirt to her skin. It had been nearly midnight when shed stepped out of the airport and the warm, moist temperature had hit her like a slap in the face. This morning, the relentlessly cheerful weatherman on Maudes ancient Magnavox had announced that the day promised to be another scorcher, even hotter than yesterday. Shed snapped off the set as hed been yammering on about the misery index.
No one expects anything from you. She pulled open the heavy door and leaned inside to unfasten her mothers seat belt. Maudes hair, soft and fine as cobwebs, brushed against her cheek. Edie caught a whiff of mothballs and peppermint candy. But youre glad Im here, arent you, Mom? You miss me sometimes. Dont you?
Okay, there you go. She stood back and extended her hand; Maude ignored it. Going to be another hot day, she said as Maude slowly swung her legs around. Youre going to bake in that sweater. Want me to help you off with it?
Dont rush me. Maudes little pink slippers were gingerly touching down on the asphalt. I know youre in a hurry, youre always in a hurry, but it takes me a while these days.
Take your time, Mom. Im not going anywhere. Her mothers face was flushed with heat and exertion and, as she helped her out of the car, Edie slid her palm under the shoulder of Maudes black sweater and felt damp warmth. Let me help you take it off, Mom. Youll be more comfortable.
Maude shook off Edies hand. The stores air-conditioned. Ill need my sweater.
You got it. Her arm linked in Maudes, they made their way slowly across the parking lot. Okay, toilet paper, denture cleaner and ham. Is that it?
Yams? Maude shook her head. Get some for yourself if you want, I wont eat any. She turned her pale blue eyes on Edie. You probably ate that sort of thing inwhere was it you were last? I cant keep up with all the places youre off to. I said to Vivian, no wonder Edith never married. What man would want to go traipsing around the world after her?
Ill get you a basket. At the entrance to the store, Edie separated a cart from the line and wheeled it over to Maude. There you go. Want me to push it for you?
I need it to lean on. Maude elbowed Edie aside. Now, Ill be as quick as I can, she said as they progressed sedately along the dairy aisle. Just dont lose your temper with me. Theres no call for it. Vivian doesnt snap at me the way you do, she knows it takes me longer these days. She said to me when we knew you were coming, she said, Mom. Ediths just going to upset you the way she always does. Viv thinks about these things.
Edie bit the inside of her lower lip very hard and sent a prayer aloft. Please, please give me patience. Half of my sisters saintliness would help, too. And please, please, I know its too late to expect much in the way of mother-daughter bonding. I know were not going to snuggle up in bed for heart-to-heart talks over mugs of cocoa, but please, please, let this be apleasant visit. And please, please, dont let me snap at her. Even though I didnt snap at her in the first place.
EDIE ROBINSON! the cashier shrieked some forty-five minutes later when Edie followed Maude with her brimming basket to the checkout line. My God, I dont believe it. When did you get back?
Last night. A package of toilet paper in one hand, Edie grinned at the woman shed last seen at their twenty-year high-school reunion whichshe did a quick mental calculationwas nearly three years ago. Honey Jones, she immediately observed, was probably fifteen pounds heavier than shed been back then and her blond hair was gray at the roots. God, youre shallow, Edie scolded herself as she began piling stuff on the conveyor belt. Yeah, but when youre barreling along the road to middle age, she justified, you notice these things. So, Honey, she said. Whats going on with you these days?
Honey grinned broadly. Same old, same old. Get up, go to work, come home, get dinner for Jim and the kids. Go to bed. Do it all over again the next day. But what about you? She glanced at Maude, who had dug a fistful of coupons from her purse and now held them close to her face as she slowly inspected each one. The last I heard, your mom said you were in
Afghanistan, Edie said when it became clear the answer wasnt on the tip of Honeys tongue Before that, Bosnia. Chechnya, Somalia, Rwanda. Shed covered them all. Dangerous, difficult, complex, frustrating. But a piece of cake compared to Little Hills, Missouri. Doing okay, Mom? Want me to help you sort through those coupons?
Frozen peas, Maude said. Too much sodium in the canned ones.
So youre just back for a visit? Honey asked.
A month. Moms decided the house is too much for her, living alone and everything. My sister thinks Mom would be happier in amore structured environment, so Im back to help her find something.
Vivs such a doll, Honey said. So patient. Always a smile. I dont know how she does it.
Yeah. Edie forced a smile of her own. Moms lucky to have her living close by.
Edies giving a talk at Rays school tomorrow, Maude said. Rays the principal. Hes married to my daughter Vivian.
I know, Mrs. Robinson, Honey said, kindly as though to a child. I was a bridesmaid at their wedding. She looked at Edie. Assistant principal, right? My kids a junior there. I guess youve heard all about the new principal, huh?
Yeah. Viv filled me in. Everyone seems all agog.
Thats small-town life for you, Honey said and shook her head. I cant even imagine your life. The farthest Ive ever been is New Jersey. Do you get scared? I mean, all that shooting and everything.
Edie shrugged and thought about the bullet in Sarajevo. Shed left her room for five minutes to talk to a photographer about the story they were working on. She returned to a cloud of dust and a .50-caliber slug embedded in the wall behind the desk shed been using. If shed been there, the bullet would have gone right through her forehead. Shed kept the bullet. You take your chances, she said. Its part of the deal.
Ive got coupons, Maude announced. Here, Edith, you sort them out. Dont know why they make the writing so small. Did Edith tell you about her big award? she asked Honey. Twenty-five cents off the coffee, the coupon is here somewhere. And the canned salmon is two for three dollars. Edith, look at these coupons. I know you cant be bothered with that sort of thing, but its a savings, let me tell you. My daughter thinks money grows on trees, she said with a glance at the cashier. Always been that way. I remember Vivian used to save her allowance until she could get something she really wanted, but not Edith. As soon as she got it, she spent it. Still that way.
Edie exchanged glances with the cashier, who smiled sympathetically.
In your mothers eyes you never grow up. Honey scanned a roll of paper towels. Doesnt matter if youre fifteen or fifty, youre always this kid who doesnt have sense enough to cross the road. She reached for a can of pineapple chunks. So. Tell me about your award.
Oh Edie started sorting Maudes coupons into little piles. I got a Pulitzer for a series on the rebels in El Salvador. She picked up a ten-cents off coupon for grape jelly and checked the contents of the basket to see if shed actually picked up the jelly as Maude had asked her to. It was a team effort though, three other reporters and myself. I couldnt have done it without them.
Wow. Honeys eyes were shining. I am so proud of you, Edie. But, hey, we always knew you were smart. Sono husband on the horizon?
You got grape jelly. Maude shoved the jar under Edies nose.
I know, Mom. She looked at Maude, whose eyes, brimming and clouded by cataracts, could look frighteningly hostile. You said thats what you wanted.
I said strawberry.
You said grape.
Strawberry, Maude said. Thats my daughter for you, she said with a sigh. Never listens. Never has. Snaps at me too.
Edie held her breath. I wont snap again if it kills me. And it might.
Honey winked at Edie. So, no handsome man in your life? she asked, rephrasing the question this time.
No man, handsome or otherwise. Edie took the grape jelly from Maude. Wait right there, Mom. Ill go back and get the strawberry. Anything else while Im at it? Maude didnt answer, but as Edie walked away, she could hear Maudes voice telling Honey, Ediell never marry. Too darn independent and set in her ways.
LUTHER HIGH SCHOOL principal Peter Darling stood in the sweltering heat at the side of the quad watching the faces of the assembled students for signs that they were actually listening to the tall woman up at the podium. To his vast relief, he saw no signs of the pushing and snickering and not-so-muffled yawns that had turned last weeks spotlight-on-careers program into an embarrassing fiasco. The assistant principal, openly skeptical about a weekly spotlight on careers, had smirked afterward that maybe they should line up hookers and pimps to discuss their work, with possibly a spotlight on auto theft and strong-arm robberythe lines of work for which most Luther High kids were destined. Then to Peters surprise, Ray had done an apparent about-face and suggested that his sister-in-law would be willing to speak.
Peter watched the kids who, from their intent expressions, all appeared to be contemplating a career in journalism. Of course, Edie Robinsonwith her sleek toffee-colored hair and photogenic smilewas no doubt part of the appeal.
What do I like best about my job? shed just asked in response to a question thrown out by a girl in the front row. Everything. The excitement, the variety. I think people often become unhappy because theyre just dissatisfied with the way things are in the place where they live. That doesnt happen to me. Im always going somewhere else. If I dont like my current circumstanceoh well, tomorrow Ill get on a plane and be on the other side of the world. New situation, new country, new experiences. I live in hotels. I eat in restaurants. I leave my laundry in a plastic bag in the hall outside my door. Almost all my friends are other journalists. My life is exclusively travel and work. And thats exactly the way I like it.
Or to put it another way, Ray Jenkins muttered in Peters ear, Edith never has to think about anyone but herself. Which she never did anyway, even before she got to be a hotshot journalist. Kind of explains why shes forty and never been married. You wanna hear about the stuff shes not telling you, ask me. I used to go with her before I came to my senses and married her sister.
Apart from mild surprise that the assistant principal might have anything at all in common with the woman at the podium, Peter had no interest in Ray Jenkinss personal life, so he ignored the remark and made his way over to the stage just as Edie, having wrapped up her talk, was stepping down. He motioned for her to stay put and addressed the students himself, inviting them to show their appreciation for the interesting and informative talk. They complied with great enthusiasm, punctuating their applause with a few whoops and whistles.
He followed Edie off the stage, where she was now regarding him with very faint amusement in her light, amber-colored eyes. Her face and throat were lightly tanned and she wore an off-white trouser suit in a thin material that draped gracefully on her tall, angular figure. There was a cool confidence about her that made it quite easy for him to imagine her calmly reading in a bathtub as mortar shells flew around. The image intrigued him.
Riveting talk. The students were captivated and, trust me, theyre a tough audience.
She eyed him for a moment. North of London, but not as far north as, say, Birmingham. Lived in the States foroh, ten years or so. Long enough to have lost a little of the accent.
He laughed, taken aback. Very good. Malvern, actually. And Ive been here twelve years. Youve spent time in England, have you?
Five years in the London bureau, some time ago, though. I used to be a whiz at identifying regional accents. I thought I might have lost my touch.
Clearly, you havent.
Im sure theres an interesting story about how a man from Malvern, England, came to be a high-school principal in Little Hills, Missouri, but she glanced around I see a line forming to talk to you, so Ill justinvent my own version of the facts.
Or you could call me, he said, surprising himself. And we could exchange life stories over dinner.
Thank you, she said. But I think Ill stick with my invented version.
Pity, he said. And then as he was about to let her go, he said, Ive noticed that your brother-in-law calls you Edith. Is it Edith, or Edie? he asked.
Edie, she said. Only my family calls me Edithand I tolerate that very poorly. A moment passed. Ive noticed that my brother-in-law calls you Pete. Is it Peter, or Pete?
Peter. He grimaced slightly. I suppose it sounds terribly formal, doesnt it?
It sounds fine, she said.
ZOWEE, Edie thought as she walked back across the campus to Maudes car. Zowee. Zowee. Zowee. In the car, she pulled off her jacket, tossed it in the back seat, kicked off her heels, which had elevated her exactly to the level of Peter Darlings gray-green eyes, threw them in the back, too, and sat grinning idiotically at the cracked, green vinylcovered dashboard. Zowee. Shaking her head, she pulled down the driving mirror to look at her face: flushed scarlet. The car, she noted belatedly, was a furnace. She rolled down the drivers window, still seeing Peter Darlings face. Zowee. If every female in that school wasnt having indecent dreams about him, shedeat her press pass.
THE OLD BLACK DIAL PHONE in the hallway was ringing when Edie let herself into Maudes house some thirty minutes later. Her mother, Edie thought as she picked up the heavy receiver, should at least have a portable that she could carry around the house, but Maude wasnt about to go easy into the digital age. The old one suited her just fine, thank you very much. Edie dragged the phone to the stairs and sat on the bottom step, listening to Vivian describe the pot roast shed just put in the oven for dinner that night. Edie should bring Maude over at about six, Viv said.
Edie leaned back against the stairs and stifled a groan. Family gatherings ranked low on her list of ways to spend a pleasant evening. Viv would outdo herself with the food, then complain of being exhausted. Ray would be smarmy and insinuating. Shed lost touch completely with her nephews. And Maude would spend the whole time telling everyone that she didnt know what shed done to deserve the way her youngest daughter was always snapping at her.
Home sweet home. Thank God it was only for a month. Looking on the bright side, Viv would probably continue her rant about Peter Darling. Funny how much more interesting that prospect was, now that shed met him.
Mom doesnt feed herself properly, Viv was saying now. And Im sure youve probably forgotten all you never learned about cooking. Ill do the roast and then Ill wrap up whats left and you can take it back to Moms. That way, youll both have something decent to eat.
From the stairs, where she remained after hanging up the phone, Edie could see Maude at her chair by the window. She spends hours there, Viv had complained on the ride from the airport. Just staring out at the street. Thats why she needs to get out of that house and into a place where she can be with other people her own age.
Elbows on her knees, Edie sat for a while watching her mother from the dim and musty hallway. Maude, at her lace-curtained window post, in a fusty room crammed with knickknacks, crocheted mats, knitted cushions, cuckoo clocks and all the detritus accumulated over a lifetime, seemed so organic to the house that Edie found herself wondering whether uprooting her might cause Maude to just wither and die sooner than she might if she were left to live out her life at home.
But when she mentioned the thought to Vivian that night, her sister looked impatient.
Edie, trust me, I spend a lot more time with Mom than you do. She needs to get rid of that house.
Edie, sprawled on the massive off-white leather couch in Viv and Rays cavernous family room, channel surfing on their massive TV because Vivian had laughed incredulously at her offer to help out, conceded that Viv was probably right. Still, she would sound Maude out anyway, just to be certain in her own mind. Are you sure I cant do anything to help? she called to Viv, who hadnt left the kitchen for the past hour.
Vivian laughed. Thanks, but no thanks, Eed. I can manage better without your help. Trust me. Just relax.
So she tried. She channel surfed some more, but found herself critiquing the correspondents performance on every new station. It was hard to forget her vocation, even when she wasnt working. Finally, she let her thoughts drift. She thought for a bit about her sister in the kitchen, whom she normally thought very little about. Coming home always brought the old memories flooding back. Viv. Poor Viv, the pretty but asthmatic child. She could still hear Maude scolding, Oh Edith, dont be so selfish. Let Viv have the doll. Or the candy, or the book or whatever else it was that Viv might want. Youre such a lucky girl, you have your health. Look at poor Viv. And Edie would look at Viv and feel not sympathy but envy because Viv had Maudes attention and she didnt.
All that old, bitter stuff that she hardly ever thought about now. But, deep inside, she still felt it, that same need for her mothers approval and acceptance. Love me. Need me. Ben, she reflected, had failed badly in that regard. Dont look for commitment from me, hed said. Pretty much the last significant thing hed said, as a matter of fact. If other events that night hadnt overshadowed everything else, those words would have plunged her into a dark void of gloom. Instead, shed developed a sort of emotional amnesia. Ben would escape or be released; she knew that much for sure. After that, who knew? Her thumb on the button of the remote, she gazed at the flickering images. A perfume ad with heartbreakingly beautiful people locked in dreamy embraces. Happy women folding diapers, mopping floors, sending happy kids off to school.
So you really like the house? Viv called from the kitchen. We love it, but sometimes I get freaked at how much we had to go into debt Want a glass of wine?
Maybe later. Edie called back. Viv and Ray had bought the house two months ago. It was a sprawling mock Tudor that sat amidst similar houses on the edge of what Edie remembered had once been bean fields. It had struck her, as shed trailed Viv around earlier, dutifully oohing and aahing, that everything about the housefrom the sweeping driveway and mirrored guest bathroom with its elaborate gold-plated fixtures, to the cream-and-gold master bedroomseemed new, immense and designed to impress. Fleetingly, shed wondered what assistant principals made these days, but it wasnt a question to ask. Whats not to like about the house? she answered rhetorically as televised images flickered hypnotically across her line of vision.
We like to entertain, Viv, still in the kitchen, was saying now. Its something Ray and I both enjoy.
Well, youve got a great place to do it in. A cartoon bird gave way to an anchorwomans face and Edies thumb paused on the remote. and the search continues, the announcer said, for American freelance journalist Ben Morris, captured last month on assignment in Iraq. Morris and three other journalists came under fire when the jeep they were riding in was ambushed by gunmen
CHAPTER TWO
EDIE STARED transfixed, but the announcers dry recap of that nightmarish ride told her nothing she hadnt relived endlessly ever since. Hold on to your hat, Eed, Ben had said. Were going to outrun them. She remembered the way his teeth had gleamed in the dark night. The roar as hed gunned the jeep, the terrifying careen up the dark mountainside with no headlights on. He loves this, she remembered thinking. Its his essence. Im an idiot to even think about commitment And then the jeep had flipped.
Carrot sticks, cauliflower and a no-fat dip. Vivian set a tray on the chrome-and-glass coffee table and flopped down on the couch beside Edie. Im not real sure about the carrot sticks, they have a bunch of carbs and Im on this low-carb diet. Doesnt it seem weird to think of carrots as a no-no? I mean, carrots and cottage cheese used to be what youd eat when you were trying to drop a few pounds, but supposedly now theyre off limits. Too high carb. If you want some wine, let me know. Its not on the dietbeaucoup carbs, although gins okay. Want some gin?
Edie blinked, staring at Viv as though shed been roused from a dream that still seemed real. Viv smiled. Kitchen warmth had flushed her face and her shoulder-length hair, hardly faded from the strawberry blond it had been in high school, fell into a smooth bob. Vivians the pretty one, Maude would say. But youre smart, Edie.
Edie rubbed her eyes. Sorry. Im miles away. Wheres Mom? I thought she was out in the kitchen with you.
Ray ran her down to the IGA to get denture cleaner. I didnt want to tell you, but shed worked herself up into quite a tizzy about it and
I took her to the IGA this morning, Edie said. We got denture cleaner. I remember taking it off the shelf.
Viv reached over to pat Edies knee. It was the wrong kind, sweetie, she said maternally. Dont blame yourself. How would you know that? Ive got beer too. Beer, wine, gin, you name it. Im not drinking, though. If I dont get this extra weight off Im going to kill myself. What do you think about these jeans? She jumped up, turned to present a rear view. Do they make my hips look kind of wide? Tell me, I wont be mad, honestly.
You look fine, Viv. Edie said, her mind still on Maudes shopping trip. So why didnt Mom say something?
Viv sat down again. Shes scared of you, sweetie, she said softly as though there was a chance Maude might overhear. She says you snap at her. You know, I might cheat a little and have some wine. Want some?
Im fine. Edie shook her head. No, Im not. Im furious. God, it kills me. I tried to be so patient with her. I was patient. For me, anyway. And I didnt snap at her in the first place. Maybe I overreacted slightly when she told me for the fourth time that she needed toilet paper, but
Hey, Eed. Viv reached for a carrot stick. Can we not talk about Mom for a minute? Youre going to be here for a while, well have plenty of time to discuss her. Trust me. Come on, eat something.
Edie took a carrot stick. Will the boys be here for dinner?
Absolutely, Viv said. Theyre always talking about their glamorous Aunt Edie.
Edie gave her sister a skeptical look.
Really. One of themI think it was Ericwas asking something about you just the other day, Viv said. Frankly though, Edie, you havent exactly been a big part of their lives. She dunked her carrot stick in dip, twirling it for a second. Back to Mom, though. Shes a novelty to you, but
Shes my mother, Viv. And trust me, I dont find her much of a novelty.
Well, you know what I mean. In a couple of weeks, youll be flying off to Boogawongabooboo, or wherever, but Ill be right here listening to Mom tell me about the little sore up her nose. Eat something, Edie. She reached for a cauliflower floret. Youre making me feel like a pig. How come you stay skinny when everyone else balloons up as soon as they hit thirty?
Clean living, Edie said.
Yeah, sure. Vivian eyed her for a moment. Frankly though, and please dont take this wrong, I think having a little fat actually makes a woman look younger. Personally, I wouldnt want to be too skinny. It gives you this drawn, dried-up look.
Edie smiled politely. You think so?
Ray thinks so too. Scrawny chickens, he calls them. She reached for a napkin and dabbed at a spot of dip on the glass coffee table. I mean in general, of course.
Of course, Edie said. What little sore?
Little sore? Vivian looked momentarily confused. Oh, Moms little sore. Shes always got one up her nose. I swear to God, the minute I sit down to breakfast, the phone rings and its Mom going on about how the little sore bleeds every time she blows her nose. I cant even look at strawberry jam these days.
Edie laughed. Despite everything, she wanted, suddenly, to embrace her sister. The perfunctory little hug at the airport had been disappointing. On some level, she realized now, shed been looking to Viv for the same thing she sought in Maude. Love me, need me. Tell me not to leave again. Ironic, this need, when she would battle to the death anyone who tried to wrest away her shield of independence and self-sufficiency. Odd, too, that the need only seemed to trouble her when she returned home.
You know what? Vivian said. I am going to have some wine. How often does my little sister honor us with her presence? Be right back.
When she returned a moment later, she had two glasses and a bottle of wine. Blush, Edie observed with a surreptitious glance at the label. Snob, she scolded herself. Ben had once used a UN transport plane to ship two cases of Italian wine to Sarajevo. Nearly broke my back carrying it to the car, hed said as hed poured her a glass. But it beats the hell out of the local plonk.
Edie watched Viv fill two balloon-shaped glasses with pale pink wine. So, she said. Shall we make a toast?
Vivian hooted. Shall we make a toast? Shall? Jeez, Edie, when did you start using words like shall? You sound like Peter Darling. Thats one of the things Ray hates about him, one of many things. Apart from the fact hes younger than Ray and gorgeous. She downed half her wine and refilled the glass. Talk like everyone else, for Gods sake. This is Little Hills not Buckingham Palace. She paused for a moment. Sorry. I didnt mean to get started, its just that I hear enough about Peter Darling from Ray. She touched her glass to Edies. To my little sister with her hoity-toity voice being home again. Joking, Eed. She patted Edies knee. Dont look at me like that. Its great to have you here. Really.
Its great to be here, Edie said, averting her eyes.
Vivian glanced over her shoulder and moved fractionally closer. Im in a quandary, Edie. A real quandary. Remember Beth Herman?
Edie thought. Beth Herman from high school?
Viv nodded. She works at Luther now. Peter Darling hired her to run this new teen mother programwhich Ray says is a complete waste of money. All it does is encourage kids to have sex, but anyway, shes in love with him.
Ray?
Viv smacked Edies knee. Peter Darling, doofus. I mean, shes gaga over him and she keeps coming to me for advice. Im happy for her, of courseI mean, Beths such a sweet girl, she deserves to find someonebut Im torn. I hear Ray going on about what an idiot the guy is and Beth telling me how hes so wonderful and I dont know whether I should be encouraging her or what.
Hmm. Edie took a carrot stick and tried to think of something to say. Well, he seems very nice, she said neutrally. Interesting. Attractive.
Attractive. Viv hooted. Did you see him? Hes gorgeous. I mean, drop-dead gorgeous. Hes like a cross between Ralph Fiennes, Daniel Day-Lewis andwho was that poet I had to study in high school? Myron, or something?
Byron?
Yeah, I guess. I dont know what Byron looks like, but thats what Beth says. I tell you She sighed loudly. If its not one thing, its another. Any idea what I should do?
Well, Viv, its not really your problem, is it? Peter and Beth are adults. A thought occurred to her. Is it mutual?
Who knows? Beth isnt sure, but shes so sweet and nice and theyre both in education. How could it not be? And shed be a wonderful mother to his little girls. I mean, how many women would want to take on four kids?
Certainly not me, Edie said. Although, having met Peter Darling, she felt quite sure hed have no shortage of candidates. Sounds like a nightmare.
Well, youve never had the maternal streak. Viv poured more wine. Anyway, enough of that. Im worried about Ray. Here hes been knocking himself out for years, nothing he wouldnt do for those kids. And everyone just knew he was a shoe-in for principal once Frank Brown retired, but then what happens? The school board brings in this Peter Darling, whos probably five years younger than Raywhich, trust me, doesnt help thingsand so damn pie-in-the-sky you wouldnt believe it.
Edie stifled a yawn. Except for the Beth Herman element, theyd been over essentially the same ground on the ride home from the airport. She hadnt been particularly interested then and, despite the new principals considerable appeal, time hadnt increased her thirst to know more. What she wanted to do was collect Maude, drive back to her mothers house and then sink into oblivion. Selfish, selfish, Maudes voice scolded deep in her brain. Youve always been selfish, Edith. She drank some wine and tried not to grimace at the flowery sweet taste.
What exactly do you mean by pie-in-the sky? she asked in a tone that made her think she should have a pen in one hand and a notebook on her knee.
Oh Viv reached for the wine again. You know what? The hell with this rabbit food, I need salt and fat. She jumped up again and returned a moment later. Actually, its some sort of artificial fat, she said as she dumped a bag of chips into a yellow bowl. Dont ask me how, but they say your body doesnt recognize it, so it passes right through you. God, that sounds gross, huh? Come ondont make me feel like a pig. Try one. Have some more wine. She reached to refill Edies glass, and then the front door slammed.
Shh. Viv flashed Edie a warning look and drained the last of her wine. Heres Ray. Dont mention Peter Darlings name or the whole evening will be ruined.
Hey, Edith, Ray said with a glance at the wine bottle. Been leading my wife astray? Nothing changes, huh?
Now, Ray, be nice. Vivian gathered up the wine and glasses. Poor Edies been with Mom all day, she needed a little drinky. She was just telling me about her job. God, youd better be glad youve got me. Listen, babe, you stay and talk to Edie while I go into the living room and make Mom pretty. Her hair needs a trim, she said to Edie, And, naturally, she wont let anyone but me work on it. She winked at Edie. Now, be good, you two. Ill be back in a jiff to finish dinner.
Let me give you a hand. Edie extracted herself from the billowing contours of the couch. What can I do?
Ray hooted. You mean youve learned to cook, Edith? What you going to feed us, stewed yak or something?
Ray. Viv who had disappeared into the kitchen, reappeared in the doorway, grinning widely as she shook her head at her husband. I told you to be nice. Ignore him, sweetie, she told Edie. Hes just showing off. Could you maybe make a salad?
Ill give it a try, Edie said, biting back a sarcastic response. In the kitchen, she eyed the wineglasses Viv had set in the sink. Her own was still full. Perhaps shed just hold her breath and gulp it down; anesthesia against the rest of the evening. And then Ray was behind her, his arms around her waist. She removed his hands and turned to look at him. Lettuce, she said, increasing the distance between them. You wouldnt know if Viv has any tomatoes, I guess. She pulled open the refrigerators stainless-steel door. Cold air hit her face. Lettuce, lettuce, lettuce, she said. Bottom drawer. Crisper. God, Ive never seen a refrigerator this big. You could chill ayak. Okay, lettuce.
So how long has it been since I saw you last? Ray asked. Five years?
Six. She pulled out the lettuce and closed the door. Ray leaned against the sink, arms folded across his chest. Shed taken his measure, too; he had lines around his eyes now, the thick blond hair had faded and thinned, and the smile that had made her knees weak in high school struck her as goofy now. Her face colored, anyway. When I came back for the high-school reunion, you and Viv were on vacation. Before that it was Moms heart attack. That was the last time.
He nodded. Sorry I couldnt be at the airport to meet you. School board meeting. New principals big on everyone attending. What do you think of him? Kind of out of place with Luther kids, isnt he?
Oh, I dont know. She took the lettuce to the sink and began separating leaves. He seemed fine to me. What do you see as the problem?
Aagh. Ray shrugged. Dont even get me started. He wont last long, thats all I know. I could have had the job if Id wanted it. School board practically begged me, but I wasnt interestedtoo much work. Ive got a family. The boys. More important things in life than chaining yourself to a desk. He laughed. Course, Im probably telling that to the wrong person, right, Eed?
Edie felt the knot in her shoulders ratchet up another notch. Salad. Could she possibly do a Caesar? Shed once spent half a day putting together a Caesar salad for Ben. Finding the necessary ingredients in a shattered Belgrade marketplace had been a challenge, but hed confessed to a nostalgic yearning for the kind of Caesar salad hed enjoyed at a certain Los Angeles restaurant. Hed been unimpressed, less by the salad than by what the effort said about her priorities. Dont go getting domestic on me, Edie, hed warned. Its not what I need or want.
She took a couple of eggs from the fridge and set them in a pan of water to simmer. Back at the fridge, she dug around for anything resembling Parmesan. She could feel Rays eyes on her back.
So what time will the boys be here? She thought again about the nephews shed watched grow, mostly through pictures sent by Vivian, from cute, wide-eyed babies to strapping, athletic teenagers and felt a stab of remorse. I will get to see them, right?
Oh sure, Ray said vaguely. Hey, Eed, remember that day after school when we were goofing around in your moms kitchen and I squeezed Thousand Island dressing into your mouth?
Edie watched his face for a moment. Not a day goes by that I dont relive that experience, Ray. It haunts my dreams.
Rays forehead creased. You being sarcastic?
Bingo.
You ever try not being sarcastic for more than five minutes?
Once. I was bored.
Ray shook his head. Clearly, there was no hope for her. He took a beer from the fridge, popped the top, and stood with his back against the granite countertop watching her move around the kitchen.
You were pretty hot back then, he said.
Thank you, Ray. So were you. Back then.
You ever think about the way things might have turned out if wed stayed together?
No, Ray. She looked directly at him. I dont. Im happy with my life. And it looks like youre doing well too. This house, by the way, she said with a sweeping gesture at the kitchen, is amazing.
You like it? Viv give you the grand tour?
She did. Behind the jars of mayonnaise and bottles of ketchup and mustard, Edie found a green tub of grated Romano cheese. Its huge. You guys must get lost going from one room to another. She set the cheese down on the center island. Out in the living room, she could see the top of Maudes white head. Her mother had all but disappeared amidst the massive pillowy cushions of the couch. The coffee table on which Maudes feet rested was several feet of mirrored glass atop a low chrome cylinder. Very elegant, Edie said. Impressive.
Ray gave her a look that seemed to calculate her sincerity. But it isnt what youd buy, right?
What does that matter? Its your house.
Ray smiled. But youd buy something down in the Historic District, wouldnt you? he persisted. If you ever settled down and came back home, I mean. Every time Viv and I go down Roosevelt, we see this old Victorian place thats been for sale forever and she always says, Thats what Edie would go for.
Edie shrugged, thinking of the astronomically priced bungalow off Sunset Boulevard shed once been tempted to buy, mostly because it reminded her of some of the older homes in Little Hills. For what it cost, she could have bought two of them and had change to spare.
Its a moot point, Ray, because Im not about to settle down and come back home. Married to my work, she said. Kind of like your new principal.
Goddamn butterfly collector. His expression darkened. Thanks for mentioning him again, Edie. Now youve ruined my mood altogether. Head stuck up in the clouds. Hasnt figured out that were dealing with a bunch of loser kids. Theyre not going to be Rhodes scholars, for Gods sake. Get em in, get em out, thats the best you can do with them.
So what? She asked and then, too late, remembered Vivians admonition. She pushed on, anyway. He thinks some of them might have potential or something?
Ray narrowed his eyes at her. You havent changed a whole lot, have you?
I guess not, she said. Neither have you.
See, thats what I mean. With you, everything has to turn into some goddamn battle. You really dont give a damn whether Im right or wrong about this guy. You just want an argument. Well, Ill tell you. Give Peter Darling six months around some of those kids at Luther and I bet you a six-pack he wont be collecting butterflies for long.
God, Edie, Vivian said from the doorway. I told you not to get Ray fired up. Now youve ruined the whole evening.
THE LAST THING I want to do is interfere in your life, Peters sister, Sophia, said as they sat on a park bench watching the children play. But its nearly two years now and, quite honestly, as much as I adore the girls, I do have a life back in England. This popping back and forth for extended visits is getting a bit much.
Has George complained? George was Sophias longtime companion, but Peter gathered that the relationship was problematic. So much so that when Sophia first volunteered to come and look after the girls, shed intimated that it would be a relief to put some distance between herself and George. In the last few weeks though, George had been calling quite frequently.
Hes grumbling a bit, but its not that, really. I dont quite trust anyone to handle the nursery as well as I can. Its silly of meIm sure Trudy does a perfectly competent jobbut I envision the assistants selling half-dead flowers and not offering the kind of variety people have come to expect.
I dont expect you to stay forever, Sophia. The girls know that, too.
He stretched his legs out. His oldest daughter, Natalie, was pushing the twins on side-by-side swings. Natalie was eight; Abbie and Kate were four. Delphina, the seven year-old, sat off to one side, her expression wistful. A quiet and solitary child, she seemed always in the shadows of her sisters play. He worried about Delphina. He worried about them all. Natalie was saddled with too much responsibility for a child of her age; the twins still sucked their thumbs. Last night, Abbie had wet the bedthe third time in a week.
Peter Sophia knocked on his temple are you in there somewhere?
Thinking, he said.
Not about a sudden sighting of the swallow-tailed thingamajig, I hope.
Painted swallowtail. He grinned. Actually it was rather unusual to spot one so far north this late in the yearbut no, I was thinking about what you were saying. Youve been an incredible help with the girls, but I do understand that you need to go home.
What will you do?
Look around for a live-in nanny, I suppose. Id planned to do that after Deborah died
Sophia rubbed his arm.
Im fine.
Still miss her?
Of course.
Life goes on, though.
Please spare me the homilies, Sophia. Ill work things out in my own way.
Im sure you will.
Deborah was always very pragmatic and unsentimental, he said. As soon as we knew how ill she was we discussed what would happen with the girls. She was convinced Id be married within the year. Quite adamant really that I should be married, that it would be better for us all.
I always did admire Deborahs intelligence, Sophia said. Pity that her husband is less gifted in that regard.
Peter shot her a sideways glance.
Well, for heavens sake, Peter. Look at that Amelia woman you were so besotted with. The girls didnt have the foggiest idea what to make of her. And she was obviously quite bewildered by them. Honestly, sometimes I want to grab your shoulders and shake you very, very hard. How could you not have seen that this woman was all wrong for you? It was apparent to me the moment you introduced her.
Perhaps you should have warned me.
I did.
Oh. He grinned. Perhaps I should have listened.
Why wont you find a nice woman?
Amelia was nice.
Amelia was an actress.
Actresses cant be nice?
I wouldnt know firsthand, Peter, my life being considerably less exotic than yours, but Amelia struck me asa tart.
Sophia, Peter said, Amelia wasnt a tart. Perhaps not a candidate for marriage, but not a tart.
Well, thats as may be, Sophia said darkly. But why are you drawn only to unsuitable women?
Because, Peter said honestly, as much as Id like to meet a woman who could love the girls and create the sort of home Deborah and I had, I want more than a mother replacement. I want to be in love.
Of course you do, Sophia said. And?
And Ive discovered that Im not particularly attracted to nice women who want to settle down and have children.
Rubbish. Sophia dismissed the comment with a flap of her hand. You simply have to put your mind to it. What we need, she said briskly, is a plan. Now, wipe that stupid grin off your face and think very carefully. Not about the kind of woman to whom youve typically been attracted Were looking for wife material. Start naming names. Were thinking sweet, potentially maternal and absolutely not flighty. Come on, there must be someone at school. Think hard.
Betty Jean Battaglio, he said after five minutes of not very hard thinking.
Good. Sophia smiled. Tell me about her.
Shes my secretary, he said.
Sophia looked dubious. Hmm. Not always advisable to dip the pen into the company inkwell, as it were, but if youre discreet What does she look like?
Dark hair, blue eyes. Pictures of cats all over her desk.
Loves animals. Sophia nodded. Sounds promising. What else?
Won a gold medal at the Little Hills fair for her cherry cobbler.
Enjoys cooking. Perfect, Sophia said. And shes single?
Widowed.
Widowed? Sophia arched an eyebrow. How old is she?
Sixty-five, Peter said. Were in the process of planning her retirement party.
Sophia gave a snort of disgust. Youre just not taking this seriously.
Yes, I am, Peter said and, just to prove it, the following morning he called Edie Robinson to invite her to the theater.
CHAPTER THREE
THE THEATER? When the phone rang, Edie had braced herself for another sisterly self-improvement lecture. Now she sat on the floor in the hallway of her mothers house talking to Peter Darling. Let me guess. Madame Butterfly.
Peter laughed. No, unfortunately. I dont think its playing anywhere. But will you join me, anyway? he asked. Saturday night.
She shifted the phone to her other ear. Peters voice was almost inaudible. You know what, Peter? I can hardly hear you. Are you whispering or something?
Just speaking softly. Im over at the teen mother center and
Is that where Beth works? Is she there?
Shes talking to a student.
Can she hear what youre saying?
No, of course not.
Why of course not?
Because I dont as a rule broadcast details of my private life. What does my asking you to the theater have to do with Beth, anyway?
Shes in love with you, Edie thought. Besotted, infatuated, head over heelsat least according to my sister, who also thinks youre gorgeous and could, of course, be doing a little projecting. God, it was so much easier to fly in and out of trouble spots. Perhaps she should drop a hint to Peter about Beths feelings for him. Maybe Beth wouldnt appreciate it, though. She herself would definitely not appreciate someone intervening on her behalf, especially with a co-worker. Better to say nothing.
Edie? Peter said. Are you still there?
Yes, sorry, I was thinking.
And whats the verdict?
No, Im sorry, Peter. Thank you for asking, but I really cant.
A jealous boyfriend in a safari suit?
Safari suit? She laughed. Youve seen too many movies.
But a jealous boyfriend nevertheless?
Essentially.
Perhaps we could take your mother as a chaperon, he said. Ill buy another ticket.
Thank you, she said, but no. Heres an idea, though. Beth absolutely loves the theater.
Does she? Peter asked with no discernible enthusiasm. Hmm.
Dont tell me Ive never done anything to make a difference in someones life, Edie thought as she replaced the receiver. And give me some credit for generous self-sacrifice. A night at the theater with Peter Darling has a whole lot of appeal. A whole lot of appeal.
PETER HAD JUST HUNG UP and was nursing his rejection, when Beth Herman dropped by his office with a picture of a butterfly. Beth wanted him to identify the butterfly before she hung the picture in her classroom.
Hmm. He lowered his head to peer closely. It looks rather like Heliconius charithonius. Note the long narrow black-and-yellow stripes on the wing. Although, of course, he added solemnly, the charithonius is not exactly indigenous to the state of Missouri.
I just assumed they were painted ladies, Beth said. But then thats pretty much the only butterfly I know of. She turned and retrieved a paper-wrapped package from her tote bag. A little gift for you. Her face colored as she handed it to him. Nothing much. I just saw it and thought of you.
How kind. He smiled at her. Beth had curly brown hair flecked with gray and wore a long gauzy skirt and the sort of knobby woolen cardigan his aunt Beatrice used to knit. Actually, she rather reminded him of his aunt Beatricesame gentle demeanor and low, patient voice. A thought hit him like a thwack to the side of the head. He took a closer look at Beth. Although not his type, which he supposed was the good news, Beth was really rathersweetly attractive. He realized he was staring.
Beth, blushing wildly, smiled at him. Open it, she said.
He tore through several layers of paper and tissue. Shortly after hed accepted the position at Luther, the school district had sent over a press-information person to interview him for the newsletter. Foolishly, hed mentioned his avocation. Now a day didnt go by in which someone didnt present him with a butterfly knickknack. His classroom shelves were, embarrassingly, full of the sort of cups, plates and assorted trinkets that had once collected dust in his grandmothers parlor. What he couldnt bring himself to mention was that while he derived a great deal of pleasure from observing the insect in its natural habitat, he had no interest at all in painted depictions. Still, he felt quite certain that Sophia would approve of Beth.
As he removed yet another layer of paper, he glanced up briefly to see that Beth had been joined by a couple of other teachers, three students and the school security guard. All were grinning expectantly.
Ah. He removed a mug emblazoned with spring blooms and, of course, a dozen or so garishly colored butterflies, none of which bore the faintest resemblance to anything hed ever seen in nature. Ah, he said again.
What kind are they, Mr. Darling? one of the students asked.
Not absolutely certain. He turned the mug this way and that and frowned as though in deep thought. Possibly something indigenous to Hong Kong. Intriguing design. Thank you, Beth. Youre very kind. Perhaps we should have dinner, he thought. With everyone milling around though, it struck him as a less-than-opportune moment to extend an invitation.
Well She smiled. Im glad you like it.
Absolutely. He tried to picture Beth with the girls. Perhaps she would draw Delphina out of her shell. He thought she might. Well, he said. Thank you. Again.
She left then and he relegated his marriage quest to the far recesses of his brain. He spent an hour monitoring the performance of a newly hired English teacher, then headed back to administration. On the way, he encountered several people requiring his attention. A student who assured him she would literally die if she couldnt get her schedule changed, a math teacher who wanted to explain the failing grade shed been forced to give, a parent alleging her son was being unfairly singled out for discipline just because hed dyed his hair blue. Peter listened and nodded and made assurances that he would look into the matter, even as part of his mind was formulating a program to completely redesign the school grounds and provide entry-level job training in landscape design and horticulture for a group of particularly hard-core senior boys.
Throwaways. That was the term often used to describe Luther studentschildren who, for one reason or another, failed to thrive in their regular high school and transferred to Luther to accrue the credits needed to graduate. The view of Luther High, more commonly known as Loser High, as little more than a way station on the road to a life of drug dealing, petty crime and welfare was surprisingly entrenched. He intended to change all that.
Mr. Darling. Mr. Darling.
In the reception area of the administration building, a girl with a swinging ponytail and silver hoops at her ears waylaid him.
Mr. Darling, I need to talk to you. Her eyes widened. Its real important.
Mr. Darling. The security guard had also found him. Just so you know, the hinge on room 220 is still broken.
Peter, a counselor called from the copier machine. Got a problem I need to discuss with you.
Hey, Pete. Ray Jenkins, the assistant principal, clasped Peters arm. Were still on to meet at two?
Peter nodded. He didnt often instinctively dislike someone, but just the sound of Ray Jenkinss plaintive nasal twang irritated him. Equally irritating were Jenkinss overly chummy insistence on addressing him as Pete, his habit of parking the bloody great monster of a truck he drove in a way that took up half of Peters own space, and the assistant principals stunning familiarity with, seemingly, every section of the Missouri Educational Code.
In his office, Peter sat down behind his desk, folded his hands and regarded the girl with the silver earrings who had followed him in. Melissa Fowler wore the unofficial Luther girls uniform. Jeans that, threadbare knees aside, might have been sprayed on, a minuscule pink shirt and enormous clunky black shoes.
How are you, Melissa?
Good.
He met her eyes for a moment and her face went red.
Well, my Mom got fired, so its been kind of crazy. I have to baby-sit my little sisters
Theyre how old?
Two and three. And my brothers four. My mom had this really cool bartending job. She was making a ton of money, but then I guess she got into this thing with her bosshes this huge jerkand now shes looking for another job. Her face worked and she twisted one leg behind the other one. See, the thing is, I know I didnt do so good last semester
Well, Peter corrected.
Well, I didnt. Melissa said. But now Im doing really good, right? And now, like, I really want to graduate from my old school, Stephens High, with my friends. She hesitated. I want to be like that lady who came to talk to us yesterday. The reporter? She was really interesting. Im thinking thats what I want to do. I feel really, like, inspired.
Good. Peter sat back in his chair. Very glad to hear it. Youve seen the error of your ways, as it were, and are eager to diligently apply yourself.
She grinned. I guess.
Peter swiveled his chair to face the computer, tapped in her name and brought up her record. Melissa was luckier than most of the students at Luther. No father in the picture, but a mother who at least cared enough to attend the teacher-parent nights. Which did little to alter the reality that Melissa was essentially a fourteen-year-old substitute mother who, between meal preparation, child care and other domestic responsibilities, had precious little time left for schoolwork.
As her record came up, Peter reminded himself, as he did on a daily basis, of the parting advice the former principal had offered. These kids can get you right here. Hed tapped his chest. You can care deeply. You have to care. But at the same time, you must keep an emotional distance. If you dont, youll destroy yourself. And you wont do the children much good, either.
Right, then, Peter said. You need one hundred and twenty credits to graduate. So far, you only have fifty. Shall we talk about what we need to do?
Fifteen minutes later, Melissa was gone and Ray Jenkins was sitting in the chair she had occupied. Ray was, Peter guessed, at least five years his senior and had thinning fair hair, faded blue eyes and a pallor that suggested most of his waking hours were spent indoors. Peter had seen framed pictures on Rays office wall of his two sons in football uniforms. Both had the tall, blond, athletic looks that Peter imagined Ray had once possessed. And, something else about Ray, a weary sort of bitterness about the assistant principal made Peter suspect that not being promoted probably wasnt the first disappointment in his life.
Shes basically a goof-off, Ray said after Peter described the course hed laid out for Melissa. Dont let her con you. The real reason shes so hot to go back to Stephens is she started hanging around my son again.
She has a boyfriend, doesnt she? Peter thought for a moment. Yes, I know she does. Marcus Adams. I managed to get him into an auto-shop program and he was absolutely rhapsodizing about her. No drivers license yet, but he rides his bicycle over to her house and helps her baby-sit.
Rays lips curled slightly. Thats this week. All I know is shes always calling the house to talk to Brad. He said he felt sorry for her once and took her to a movie. Now he cant get rid of her.
Yes, well, Peter said. Im sure we all dimly remember what fourteen was like. He got up from the desk and wandered to the window, where out on the quad, a vigorous game of basketball was under way. After a moment, he turned to look at the assistant principal. Melissa is a bright, resourceful girl and I personally have a great deal of confidence in her.
Ray smirked. Well, good for you. I guess Ive just been around these kids a lot longer than you have.
Peter said nothing, and they moved on to other matters. Twenty minutes later, Ray stood as though to leave. Hands in pockets, he hesitated at the door.
So what dyou think of my sister-in-law, the hotshot foreign correspondent? Ms. Been-Everywhere-Done-Everything? His tone invited criticism, but when it wasnt forthcoming he smiled. Still, the kids seemed interested. She knows her job, Ill give her that.
Peter allowed the remark to drift into a vacuum of silence, broken after a while by the sound of Ray jingling change in his pockets. As he filed away a couple of folders, Peter recalled the assistant principals whispered remark after Edies speech, and decided that it was unlikely that the relationship had ended in the way Ray had described. What he found remarkable was that it had ever gotten off the ground in the first place. It would be interesting to know the real story, he thought, picturing Edie again. Ive had four students express an interest in a journalism career since her talk, he told Ray. In fact, Im turning over the idea of starting a campus newsletter
Wont work, Ray said. Waste of time and money, Im telling you right now.
Peter eyed the assistant principal. Pity it was so damn difficult to fire state employees, he mused.
GIRLS NIGHT OUT, Vivian said when she dropped by Maudes around six that evening. Pitchers of margaritas, waiters in tight black pants. Move it, Edie. Drag yourself off the couch. Youre turning into an old woman. Speaking of which
Shes upstairs resting. Edie pushed her glasses over the top of her nose and looked at Viv, all dressed up in snazzy designer jeans and a leather bomber jacket. Count me out, she said. Im exhausted. A bubble bath, a glass of wine and a book in bed strikes me as the perfect way to spend the evening. Old woman or not.
Oh, come on, Eed. How often do we see you? Come on, go upstairs and fix yourself up. Itll be fun. You might meet Mr. Right, fall in love and have half a dozen children in quick succession.
I hate to break it to you, but that scenario does nothing for me.
Get up. Viv pulled at her fingers. Make yourself pretty, and when youre done Ill tell you Peters latest crazy idea. Ray just got through ranting about it. Anyway, I want you to get together with Beth. We can all drink margaritas and reminisce about the days when we were all young and sexy. Theres going to be a whole bunch of us
As Vivian began to name names, Edie tried to think of a convincing reason not to go. She hated girlie gabfests, mostly because they invariably involved too much self-revelation, something she considered an unwise indulgence. What was the point of sitting around talking about your fears and insecurities? Shed never yet heard of anyones life changing as the result of one of these sessions. Mostly you drank too much, got maudlin, and then toddled on home to behave the same way you always had.
Anyway, shed spent too many years creating her self-protective coloring. If she started yammering about how she really felt inside, in no time others would see her that way too. Once at a conference, shed had drinks in a hotel bar with a colleague whom she had always seen as supremely confident but a little cool and aloof. After a third glass of wine, the woman had confessed to being scared to death much of the time; the cool exterior really masked a basic shyness. Edie never saw her the same way again and, she hated to admit, she had lost confidence in the womans decision-making skills.
But she dragged herself up off the couch, anyway.
Sue Ellen Barnes? Edie asked several hours later as she dipped a tortilla chip into a bowl of salsa and glanced from Viv to Beth. They were in Casa Julios, perched on stools pulled up to tall tables. Vivian had ordered a pitcher of strawberry margaritas that sat, nearly empty now, in the middle of the table. The others had left and it was just herself, Viv and Beth. Who did she marry? That guy with the red hair? What was his name?
John Yardley, Beth and Vivian shouted in unison.
Now shes Sue Ellen Barnes-Yardley. Edie giggled. Shed eaten nothing but bar snacks for hours, and the margaritas were making her feel slightly buzzed. What about Helen Anderson?
Shes on her second husband, I think, Beth said. And so is Frana Van Bergen.
You know who else just got married again? Elbows on the counter, Vivian looked at Edie. That really stuck-up girl who transferred from Ladue, Karen something-or-other.
They all shook their heads, baffled that snotty Karen could even snare one husband, let alone two. Earlier, the focus had been shoptalkproblem students, mostly. All the women except for herself and Viv worked at Luther; Edie had just tuned out. Every so often, a fragment of chatter from the dressed-for-success crowd had risen above the ambient noise, drifting over to where she sat. A hundred grand in five years, thats my goal. You gotta be focused. If youre not, theres someone right behind you who is. Nah, shes lost her edge.
Shed tuned back in to hear Beth, her face impassioned, say, But the whole goal of the program is to help the next generation of students get off to a healthy start.
Around the table, heads had nodded in agreement. difficult for anyone who isnt in this field to really appreciate how fantastic it is just knowing that youve truly made a difference in the course of a students life, one of the teachers had said with a glance at Edie. And then, You must be bored, huh? Bunch of teachers sitting around talking shop.
And then Vivian, apparently sensing a need to draw Edie more fully into the conversation, had said, Almost anything would seem boring compared to what Edie does. Shes the family success story. I married her reject and stayed home and had babies. Edie went off to live a glamorous life in New York.
And Edie had protested that it wasnt all that glamorous, but all the women had been looking at her and, she knew damn well, imagining a life that bore little resemblance to their own reality. Shed felt fraudulent, envious of these women who could talk so passionately about changing lives. Suddenly, feeling profoundly alone, shed excused herself and found the rest room. Two women had stood at a bank of mirrors, laughing and talking as they applied lipstick.
She had a glimpse of loose blond hair and red lips as shed slipped past them and into a cubicle. They were at least a decade younger and shed thought, I hate them. I hate them because the tarnish and weariness havent set in. They dont know yet that they wont always be beautiful; that they wont conquer the world, marry the man, have the babies. Make a difference. Shed draped the toilet seat with a paper cover and sat until she heard them leave. Stood then and leaned her forehead against the cool metal surface of the door. I need, shed thought. I need, I need, I need. But what?
Earth to Edie, Viv was saying now. Shes in a foxhole, she said with a wink at Beth. Shoulder to shoulder to a hunky marine.
Right, Edie said, rallying. And I havent showered for a week and neither has he. She drained the margarita, tasting the gritty strawberry seeds, the sweet, fruity ice. So, Beth, she said. How come you havent joined the married-with-children club?
Beth smiled sadly. I dont know, really. One minute it seemed as though I had all the time in the world, and I just knew Id have children and a husband, the whole thing. And then I woke up and I was forty and there was no one even on the horizon.
Vivian gave a small, conspiratorial smile and leaned slightly toward Beth. Except for Peter, she whispered.
Oh, Peter. Beths expression turned dreamy. Be still my heart. Today, he told me about his little girls dance recital. Delphina, the quiet one he always calls her. Ive met them all. Delphinas this solemn little thing with huge dark eyes. The twins, Kate and Abbie, are adorable blond angels, and Natalie is an absolute sweetheart. Shes the little mother.
Vivian arched an eyebrow at Edie. Kind of sounds like Beth might be more in love with the girls than she is with Peter, doesnt it?
I just love children, Beth said. And Peters so sweet when he talks about them. He came in this morning with this big stain on his shirt pocket where Natalie had put a sandwich. Some men would have been embarrassed to walk around all day like that. Hes the principal, after all. But Peters much more focused on the idea that his little girl made him lunch. Her face colored. I just think hes really a sweet, sweet man I just want good things to happen for him.
Youd be a good thing, Vivian said.
Beth smiled. Edie, if you havent noticed, your sister is trying to set me up with Peter. She thinks wed be perfect together. And your sister, in case you havent noticed that, either, happens to be very determined when she sets her mind to anything.
Viv hooted. Me, determined? You dont know determined until you know Edie. Once she makes her mind up on something, nothings going to change it.
A family trait, Edie said, thinking of Maude. So, are you interested in Peter? she asked Beth. Personally.
Of course she is, Viv said. How could she not be?
Edie looked at Beth, waiting for her to answer. With her nondescript brown hair pulled into a straggling ponytail, no makeup and an unflattering orange knit sweater, Beth looked like the before picture of a makeover candidate. Not without potential, but at the moment, clearly untapped.
An assessment Beth confirmed a moment later. I dont think Im exactly Peters type, she said. A few weeks ago I was in administration and this tall gorgeous woman came in. Everyone was looking at her. The security guards jaw just about dropped. She asked for Peter, and Betty Jean let her into his office. Apparently, shes this actress he was dating.
But hes not dating her now, Viv said. Ray heard Peter telling her not to bother him anymore.
Well, it doesnt matter, Beth said. Clearly, thats the type of woman hes interested in.
Beth. Elbows on the table, Viv looked at her friend. He needs a mother for those children. Betty Jean told Ray. Hes not looking to marry an actress. You just need to work at it, let him see youre interested.
But I dont know if I am, Beth said. I think I might feelinadequate.
No, no. Viv shook her head. You and Peter would be perfect together. Men are just sometimes slower to catch up. Although, she said with a little smile, sometimes you do get that gut feeling. I remember with Ray. Everyone said, Oh hes still in love with Edie, hes just marrying you on the rebound, but I knew.
Edie clasped her hands. A pain that had started at the top of her scalp was gathering strength. The thing is, she said. Its sometimes difficult to know what guys are thinking. You know how you can kind of read things into situations? See what you want to see? Edie really wanted to go home and stick her head under the covers. All Im saying is, Beth, a friend of mine told me years later that she really wished someone had told her right from the start that this guy was never in love with her. It was just a difficult call, though.
Excuse me, Beth said as she hurried from the room.
What the hell is with you? Vivian glared at Edie. Beth has been glowing all evening and its like you just poured a bucket of cold water over her. Why dont you keep your damn cynical opinions to yourself and quit spoiling things for everyone else?
I honestly didnt mean to rain on her parade, Edie said. I was just telling her
Next time, try telling yourself to butt out, Viv snapped.
Edie returned home to find a message from Maude scrawled on a note under the phone.
Gone to bed. A man called I told him he had the wrong number but he kept calling back and asking for Fred so I wrote down his number just to get some peace and quiet you better call him we need more toilet paper and dont get that thin stuff again my fingers go right through it. Love Mom.
CHAPTER FOUR
WITH A SMILE, Edie folded the note and put it in her pocket. The infrequent letters Maude sent her were written the same way; long, garbled, stream-of-consciousness missives without a hint of punctuation. She dialed the number she knew by heart and reached a colleague and friend shed known since their days in the Times London bureau. A grizzled bearlike man approaching retirement, Fred Mazare had probably reported from every country in the world during his forty-odd years in journalism. A gold mine of information on anything from overseas press clubshe knew them allto public transport in Bangkokhe recommended tuk tuksFred was mentor, father figure, confidant and friend all rolled into one untidy, overweight, cigar-smoking curmudgeon. He picked up the phone on the first ring.
Where the hell have you been? he demanded, And who was that old bat who answered the phone?
Out with the girls, she said, grinning because it felt so damn good to hear his voice. And watch how you talk about my mother.
Howre things going?
Oh She rubbed her eyes. Im home. Does that tell you anything?
Yep. It tells me youre about as out of place as a nun in a brothel.
She laughed. Hmm, Ill have to think about that one. Her back against the wall, the phone cord wrapped around her wrist, she slid down to the floor. Why do I feel soweird whenever I come home, Fred?
One, you dont belong there anymore. Two, youre trying to convince yourself into believing that you do.
I am?
Sure you are. Probably hooked up with an old boyfriend and hes trying to talk you into settling down
Wrong.
Okay. Your biological clocks ticking.
She groaned. Oh please, if you cant come up with something more original
Okay, Edie. Tell Uncle Freddy the problem as you see it.
I justhave this empty feeling inside.
You going soft on me?
No. She swiped the back of her hand across her nose. Maybe Ive had my fill of moving around. Maybe I need to settle, put down some roots. She swallowed. Maybe youre not really so far off the mark about the biological clock.
Highly possible, he agreed.
But Id hate to settle down in a place like Little Hills. She thought of Viv and her off-white leather couches and her endless chattering about Ray and the boys. She thought of Peter with his little girls. Beth all shiny-eyed as shed called them angels. I have nothing in common with these people.
My guess is that you would if you decided Little Hills is what youre looking for, he said. Ready for some news about Ben?
She leaned her head back against the wall, closed her eyes. Yeah.
State Departments arranged for his release. Could be any day now.
She breathed a sigh. Thank God.
I spoke to his wife.
Ex-wife.
Tell her that.
He told me that.
Fred laughed. Ever strike you funny how people can be so cynical and hardheaded about things they want to believe and so damn gullible and stupid about other things?
Not so much funny as pitiful, she said. Youre not breaking up my marriage, Edie, Ben had told her. It was broken long, long before I met you.
Hey, Edie. Fred was saying, Cut out the whiny broad stuff.
Im not whining.
Youre feeling sorry for yourself.
Bull. Tears burned her nose. Im fine. Terrific.
Youve always had Bens number
I said Im fine.
Yeah welllisten, heres something thatll put a smile on your face. I heard your name mentioned the other day. How does Edie Robinson, Asia bureau chief, strike you?
ASIA? Wow, Edie, how exciting, Vivian enthused the next morning when Edie told her about the bureau chief job. You know what, though? I dont envy you one bit. I tell you, when Ray and I got back from New York after our tenth anniversary, I was never so glad to be home.
Yeah, I can imagine. Edie stuck the phone between her ear and shoulder and, as Viv rattled on, searched the refrigerator shelves for breakfast material. Another trip to the IGA seemed likely. She wanted to get off the phone with Viv, who was seriously beginning to get on her nerves. Irritation, like a small yappy dog kept on a tight rein ever since shed hauled her bags into the back of Vivians gleaming new SUV, was tugging hard at the leash. She bit experimentally into a withered apple, decided it was too far gone and dumped it into the trash.
Maude, upstairs clomping around, would be down any minute and they were out of coffee creamer, which would inevitably get the day off to a shaky start. I dont want to be here, Edie thought. I dont want to hear my mother tell me she needs prunes and I dont want to listen to my sister bitching to me about her hot flashes and her gourmet club. I am cold, unlovable and I vant to be alone.
I know Little Hills seems boring to you, Viv was saying now. But as far as were concerned, there isnt a better place to raise kids. And that sort of thing matters to me and Ray, she said. Were very serious about our kids.
I know you are, Viv. Edie stuck her head in the fridge. The gas oven was also an option. Why didnt the prospect of a bureau chief job strike her with quite the sense of elation shed thought it might? Shed stayed awake half the night trying to figure that one out. That and Bens releasewhich shed never had any doubt aboutand the three years shed wasted with him. Dont expect commitment from me, hed always say. Something shed have understood much more readily had he also mentioned a wife back in the States.
Her mood didnt improve much that day and it wasnt much better the next, when someone from Maple Grove Residential Living called to inquire whether Maude was still interested in having her name added to the waiting list for residential apartments.
Edie, pacing the hallway with the black receiver lodged between her ear and shoulder, moved too far in one direction and the phone clattered to the floor, knocking over the spindly table it had been standing on. Damn it.
Excuse me?
Nothing. Edie stood the table up again and replaced the heavy black phone on its crocheted doily. I was talking to the phone.
Of course. The administrator cleared her throat. When your sister and mother paid us a visit recently, they were both very impressed. Your sister did say that there were other places they wanted to investigate, but we were under the impression that they were definitely leaning toward Maple Grove.
Literally or figuratively? Edie wanted to ask. I dont think my mothers made a decision yet, Edie said. In fact, Im sure she hasnt, but let me check with my sister.
That would be Vivian Jenkins? the administrator asked.
That would be, Edie said, irked by the womans officious tone. In the mood she was in, Mother Teresa would have irked her.
I was under the impression, from Mrs. Jenkins, that the decision had been made. Mrs. Jenkins is concerned that your mother is no longer capable of living alone. Your mother was so taken with Maple Grove, she wanted to move in on the spot.
Well, that may be, Edie said. As I said, Ill check with my sister.
We have very few vacancies, the woman said. In fact, thats why we were forced to create a waiting list. I would hate to see your mother lose out. She was so impressed
Ill call you, Edie said and slowly replaced the receiver in its cradle. Tinkerbell, the most persistent of Maudes three cats, watched her balefully, his eyes the color of grapes. I hate salespeople, she told him. Actually, this morning, I hate everyone.
The cat mewed and moved to snake its long orange body along Edies bare calf.
That will get you nowhere, trust me. On tiptoe, Edie reached for a jar of Ovaltine, thinking for a minute it might be coffee. Maude appeared to be out of coffee, which wasnt helping matters. She took down the jar, unscrewed the lid and peered inside at the dried-up cake of brown powder. Yuk.
Meow. The cat rubbed its ear against Edies leg.
Edie nudged it gently with her toe. Look, if you want to get into my good books, run down to the corner and get me a double latte, okay? Maybe a bagel, too.
Still musing on the phone call, a niggling sense that shed somehow been shut out of an important decision prompted her to dial her sisters number. As usual, Vivian sounded harried.
Im trying to do a million things, she said, and the phone keeps ringing off the hook. Brad spilled root beer all over the family-room carpet and Ive got someone coming in to clean it. Rays in a permanent funk. By the way, Im sorry I jumped at you the other night about Beth. You know I didnt mean it, right? I swear when Im on a carb diet, I get the worse sugar withdrawal and
Viv, some woman called from Maple Grove
Oh right. A pause. I meant to tell you about that Look, if the carpet cleaners dont take too long, how about I drop by right after and well talk. Where is Mom, by the way?
A woman from church dropped by to pick her up. They were going to a potluck, or something. Mom was up before me this morning, making macaroni and cheese.
Damn. Vivian exhaled loudly. Dixie Mueller, right? Little tiny thing with white hair? Well, theyre all little tiny things with white hair, but Dixiesfirst of all she shouldnt be driving, so every time she takes Mom out, I have to worry about whether theyll get into an accident. And then Mom goes to these potlucks and eats too much and ends up calling me in the middle of the night convinced shes having a heart attack
Edie held the phone away from her ear as Vivian railed. I am completely out of my element, she thought. This is my mother, but I have no idea whats really in her best interests. Im sorry, she said after Vivian finally wound down. Mom seemed really jazzed to be going out and I didnt know about
Its not your fault, Edie. Dont blame yourself. Its just that Im with Mom and youre not. And thats why she needs to be in a place like Maple Grove. She cant look after herself and Im honestly worn out with looking after her.
But there are other options besides a residential facility, Edie said. She could have someone come in to help her. A live-in assistant, maybe. That way she could stay in the house
Vivian laughed. Edie, Edie. You have no idea, do you? Live-in assistants cost money
So do residential facilities, she pointed out. I might not be with Mom on a day-to-day basis, but Im not entirely out of touch with the real world.
I didnt mean to suggest that you were, Viv said. Its just thatwell, I hate to keep saying the same thing over and over, but Im here, Edie, and youre not.
A theme that was beginning to sound so familiar, Edie thought, she could almost predict the moment Vivian would say it. Almost as predictable as Vivians breathless complaints that she had a million things to do and really didnt have time to talk about this right now.
And Im going out of my mind, Viv was saying now. Do you have any idea at all how much food two teenage boys can consume?
Of course I dont, Edie said. I dont have children.
A moment of silence from the other end of the line. Are you being sarcastic? Vivian wanted to know. Because if you are
I was just stating a fact, Edie said. You have kids and I dont.
I know, but you get that snippy tone in your voice Anyway, I really dont have time to argue. I dont want to argue, lets put it that way. I dont see you often enough to spend time when you are here bickering with you.
Having established the moral high ground, Viv then went on to complain about the paintwork in her newly finished upstairs bathroom, her neighbors obnoxious dog who barked half the night and the ridiculous price of the boneless pork roast shed bought for tomorrows dinner with some friends who probably wouldnt be impressed, anyway.
As she listened, Edie wondered whether it would seem insufferably self-righteous if she attempted to lend some perspective to her sisters problems by describing the young girl shed seen in Sarajevoall dressed up in high heels and full makeup as she picked her way through the rubble from a recent mortar attack because, war or no war, life goes on. Or the women who sent their children to school during shell fire with the reassurances that they were probably safer at school than at home. Yeah, it would be insufferable, she decided, not to mention hypocritical. Youve never dwelled endlessly on your own petty problems?
By the way, Viv said, I really am sorry for jumping on you lately. You must think Im a total bitch. When Im on a low-carb diet, I swear I get sugar withdrawal. Anyway, look, bottom line is we both have Moms best interests at heart.
Exactly, Edie agreed, Which
Im sure it isnt easy for you to be back here, feeling that youre doing everything wrong, but face it, Eed, thats reality. You made your choice to go off and leadyour kind of life.
But
And I have no problem at all with looking after Mom. I mean, I told Ray, I said I dont even know why Edies coming back, as busy as she isbut look, sweetie, I know youre concerned. Tell you what, how about we take Mom out to Maple Grove tomorrow and you can see the place for yourself?
Meanwhile, Edie decided as she hung up the phone, she would have a little talk with Maude when she got back from her visit with Dixiejust the two of them. She might never know or understand Maude the way Viv did, but she could at least try to get to know her a little better.
Tomorrow, she would take Maude to lunch.
PETERS PHONE RANG during the middle of a parent conference. Since hed told Betty Jean to hold all calls other than emergencies, his first thought as he excused himself to pick up the receiver was that it was one of the girls. Your sister, Betty Jean said. She insisted that I put her through immediately.
Peter exhaled. Yes, Sophia?
Im calling for a progress report.
He frowned. On what?
The wife search. What else?
Oh, that, Peter said, irritated. Do you honestly think that I have nothing else Listen, Im in a meeting
I just thought you might have given it a little thought.
I have, Peter said without thinking first.
And?
Well talk about it later.
A teacher?
No.
What then?
A foreign correspondent.
A foreign Oh, Peter, thats ridiculous. Theyre gone all the time. You read about their lifestyles. How can that possibly work?
Not quite sure. Especially since shes now declined two invitations, he thought as he hung up on Sophia.
Anyway, as I was saying, Mrs. BlackPatricias academic progress would be enhanced considerably if she attended school more than two days a week. Lets talk a little about what we can do to ensure she gets up in time to catch the school bus in the mornings. An alarm clock would be an obvious first step
Sophias second call came just as he was leaving his office to head across campus. Please forget about the foreign correspondent, she said. It would be an enormous mistake. As soon as the girls begin to trust her, shell be whisked off to Timbuktu, or somewhere, only to be shot at and God knows what else. Please tell me you werent serious.
EDIE HAD ENVISIONED somewhere a little more celebratory for her getting-reacquainted lunch with Maude, but her mother had insisted on Mrs. Browns Burger Bar: pumpkin-colored vinyl booths and anthropomorphic dancing pies painted on the windows. Maude liked Mrs. Browns early-bird dinners. Edie glanced at the menu. A little insert offered a free slice of apple, chocolate or cherry pie with any order over six dollars.
I dont want anything spicy, Maude was saying. What are you having?
Salad. Edie set the menu down and looked at Maude. So far today things had gone quite smoothly. She hadnt slapped her forehead in exasperation, or sworn or wanted to shake Maude silly. I am becoming a better person, she decided. If not a paragon of saintly virtue, more patient and understanding. Compassionate, even. Earlier, as they had been getting into the car, shed taken a second look at her mothers headgear and refrained from asking why Maude had chosen to go out wearing a tea cozy.
And last night, after her mother returned from the visit with Dixie Mueller, Edie had listened with a degree of patience she had no idea she possessed to Maude explain that she only ate eggs on Tuesdays except if it rained and then sometimes shed have a banana, not because she was hungry, mind you, but because of the potassium, but if you stopped to think about it, shed lived this long so if she wanted to eat eggs on Wednesdays, too, how could it hurt?
This was nice, Edie, Maude had said when just before midnight shed announced she was ready for bed. Its been a long time since weve had a talk like this. And actually, Edie thought as shed drifted off to sleep, it had been kind of nice. Not exactly the heart-to-heart, mother-daughter chat shed once dreamed about, but peculiarly contenting, anyway. Of course, shed had a couple of glasses of wine.
What can I get you ladies? The waiter, a tall gawky kid who appeared to be about twelve, thirteen max, looked from Edie to Maude, then reeled off a list of specials.
I didnt get that, Maude told him. Can you read them again?
Mom, what difference does it make? Edie asked. Vivian had already warned her that Maude, when dining out, would eat nothing but fish and chips. Youre going to have fish and chips, anyway.
Wheres the chicken potpie? Maude had picked up the menu again. How much is it?
We dont have chicken potpie, the kid said.
Chicken potpie, Maude said. And a cup of coffee.
They dont have chicken potpie, Edie told Maude. Why dont you just have fish and chips like you always do?
Maude eyed Edie, a tad suspiciously. What are you having?
Edie felt her hand move almost involuntarily to her head. She restrained it. Im having salad, Mom. I already told you.
Maude screwed up her face as if shed just learned that her daughter was going to dine on stewed yak. Salad?
Salad.
I dont want salad. Ill have chicken potpie.
Edie slapped her head. Mom! Look at me. They dont have chicken potpie.
Dont shout at me. Maude raised her eyes to the waiter. See how my daughter talks to me?
Want me to come back in a few minutes? he said.
No, Edie said. Shell have fish and chips.
I dont know though. Maude was browsing the menu again. The last time I had chicken potpie here it had bits of green pepper in it. I think Ill just have the fish and chips. Edie, that man across the street keeps looking at you.
Edie looked beyond the dancing pies to see Peter Darling leaving the hardware shop, smiling broadly. She realized with irritation, now back and in plentiful supply, that her hair was lank and unwashed, she had on no makeup and that she was wearing tatty elephant-colored sweats. She drank some water and slouched down in the booth as Peter approached. The life of the foreign correspondent wasnt always glamorous and exotic.
CHAPTER FIVE
AS HE APPROACHED the booth where Edie sat opposite an elderly woman in a natty white knitted hat, Peter acknowledged, reluctantly, that Edie did not appear overjoyed to see him. By contrast, her companion was all smiles as she patted the booth beside her.
Didnt recognize you from across the road, she said. Youre that assistant principal at my son-in-laws school. Saw you when my other daughter took me there so she could drop off Rays lunch. Hes on a low-sodium diet. You met Edie? Shes a foreign correspondent, got shot at last year. Im having the fish and chips. Edies having the chicken potpie.
Mmm. He met Edies eyes across the table. As he remembered, they were amber, only slightly lighter than her hair. I wasnt really hungry, but I quite like chicken potpie.
They dont have chicken potpie. Edie looked as if she might have a headache. Im having a salad.
If you dont mind the green peppers, the chicken potpie is good, Maude said.
I think Im going to sit here and go quietly insane, Edie said. Hi, Peter. This is my mother, Maude Robinson, in case you werent previously introduced. Mom she leaned across the table to Maude you remember Peter Darling? She looked at Peter again. School day over already?
No, he said. I just came for the chicken potpie.
Dont do this, she said.
You ever seen Edith slap her head? Maude asked. Thats what she did just before you got here. I said I wanted fish and chips and she slaps her head. She shouted at me, too.
I should be locked away, Edie said. What are you doing here?
I placed two students at the hardware shop across the street, he said. Its a great arrangement. The school district partially subsidizes the shop owner. He gets a couple of assistants and the students get some real work experience while earning credits toward graduation.
She eyed him for a moment. That must be gratifying.
He looked straight back at her. It is. Very.
I meant it sincerely, she said. I wasnt being facetious.
I didnt suspect for a moment that you were, he lied. Edie disquieted him. It was nothing overt; an enigmatic smile, the faint whiff of cynicism about her. He imagined that she saw him as painfully earnest, which he supposed he was. Well, earnestnot painfully, he hoped. Perhaps he should cultivate a new persona. Cavalier and brutish. Take that insolent smirk off your face, wench, and get thee to the bedchamber.
My daughters both think Im a senile old woman who doesnt have a clue in the world whats going on right in front of her eyes, Maude said. Theyre trying to put me in a home.
Edie set down her water glass. The air went still. Peter tried to think of something to say. At his side, the old woman was sipping water, seemingly unaware that shed just sparked a match to the conversational tinderbox.
Edith hasnt been back here for donkeys years, the elderly woman said. Too busy with her high-powered job. Now she decides its time for poor old mom to be put away, so she comes out here to drag me around to these fancy high-priced places that are nothing more than storage rooms where you sit around and wait to die.
Are you living in your own home at the moment? Peter asked, trying only to defuse the tension. He didnt look at Edie, but he could feel her presence, glowering across the table. Beside him, Maude fiddled with her ear.
Sorry. Its not that Im deaf. I only wear my hearing aid when theres something I want to hear. Do I rent? No, I own my home. My husband and I bought it when our oldest daughter, Vivian, was born. Both the girls were raised in that house and now theyre trying to make me move out
Mom, thats absolutely not true, Edie said. Thats what weve been talking about. Thats why Im back. Viv said you want to move
I didnt until she started showing me all these fancy brochures and then you come back and She looked at Peter. Now theyre both on at me. I never said stick me in a warehouse though, did I? She glared at Edie. I didnt say come out here and turn my life upside down
Ah, food, Edie announced as the kid waiter approached. Too bad Im suddenly not hungry.
HALF AN HOUR, still shaking with anger, Edie helped Maude back into the car. As she walked around to the drivers side, Peter caught her arm. Hed gamely sat through the meal, engaging Maude in small talk about roses and gardening and preventing an incendiary situation from erupting into a wildfire. As they were leaving the restaurant, Maude had invited him and his daughters to dinner. Edie had been too furious to even listen for his reply. She looked at him for a moment, not trusting herself to speak.
So. She forced a bright smile. Here you have the real truth. Heartless daughters evict poor old motherno, daughter. Singular. As Maude would have told you if youd waited a little longer, Viv would never be so cruel. But then Viv didnt kill her father. Funny how Moms never quite forgiven me for that. She stopped, appalled at what shed just said. She could see confusion in Peters face and something else, something tender and soft that made her want to run. Sorry for that little outburst, she said. Could we please rewind the tape?
Consider it done. His hand was on the top of the car now. He hadnt taken his eyes from her face. It would be an understatement to say youve got a tricky situation, and I dont want to interfere in a family matter. But, if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.
Thanks.
I mean that. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a card and scribbled something on the back. Thats my number at home. He handed the card to Edie. Youre likely to get one of my daughters, and if its Delphina, shell want very much to read you a poem. Shes quite talented. Of course, shell be too shy to tell you thatbut with a little coaching, you can draw her out.
Thank you, she said again. She would never call, she knew that, but it was a sweet gesture. I appreciate it.
I mean it sincerely. The offer. Im a very good listener. I also used to have an elderly mother
She smiled.
I dont know why Ray doesnt like him, Maude said as they drove away. Seems very nice to me. Course, you can never tell.
PETER HAD FELT some misgivings as he watched Edie drive away with Maude in the car. Perhaps he should have done more to calm her down. He could imagine the headlines in tomorrows Little Hills Union. Noted Foreign Correspondent Throttles Elderly Mother. Hed felt the tension radiating off her.
He stood in the quad now, almost an hour later, watching a troupe of young actors, all dressed in black, perform for the assembled students. Perhaps he would ring her this evening, just to make sure everything was all right. He remembered that hed meant to tell her how inspired the students had been by her talk. Shed like to hear that, he was sure.
Sophia might be right about the unsuitability of a foreign correspondent as a wife, but it would be very agreeable to get to know Edie as a friend. That said, how could it hurt to call? He did wonder, though, at the remark about killing her father. What was that all about? Bit of melodrama, maybe. One would hope.
On a stage across the quad, an antidrug message was being conveyed through mime, dance and ear-splittingly loud rap. His temples throbbing, he snaked a hand down over the shoulder of a boy in the back row and plucked a bag of sunflower seeds, forbidden on campus because of the mess they created, from the surprised boys grasp. He wondered if, at forty-one, he was too old for this sort of thing.
And then Beth Herman tapped him on the arm. He shot her a quick sideways glance and did a double take. Normally, he didnt pay a great deal of attention to womens clothesa shortcoming of which Amelia had frequently complainedbut Beths blouse was really quite extraordinary, patterned with brilliant butterflies that danced over her entire upper body. Another surreptitious glance revealed small black script identifying the various species. By then, mercifully, the music had stopped and he turned to take an even closer look, realizing as he did so that he was ogling her left breast.
Sorry, he said, although Beth did not seem at all offended. Very nice blouse. The students were now ambling off to their classrooms and Beth was smiling and it seemed necessary somehow to say something else. Would you like to be a mother to my children? seemed a bit peremptory. Very nice cupcakes, too, he said instead.
Cupcakes?
The cakes you brought in this morning with the little silver balls. Quite delicious.
Oh, she said. They werent mine. One of my aides brought them in. Ill thank her on your behalf, she said. Actually though, I do love to cook.
And Im sure you do it very well, he said, trying to imagine Amelias response if he were to suggest she bake cakes. Probably about the same as if he were to suggest they marry and raise a dozen children together. Edie would react similarly, he suspected. But he must stop thinking about unsuitable women. Which reminded him of Edie againor, rather, her mother. I have a proposal, he said.
A proposal? Beths face reddened and the pile of papers shed been carrying like a baby slipped from her arms and fell to the ground. Sorry.
Peter joined Beth on the grass to help retrieve some papers that had been scattered by a sudden breeze. For a moment or so they were both on their hands and knees, and he glanced up to find Beths nose inches from his own.
A proposal? she said again.
A proposal. Peter held out his hand to help her up. You seem a littleflustered.
Flustered? She raked her brown curls. Oh no, no. Im fine. I mean, this is the way I always am. Sorry. Um, what can I do for you? She laughed. Sorry, that didnt come out right
Beth, youve just apologized for the third time in as many minutes, Peter said. Stop it. Youre making me feel like an ogre.
An ogre? Oh no, Im sorry I
Peter shook his head. Shed caught her lapse and was looking at him with such dismay that he couldnt help laughing. Im sorry He grinned. God, youve got me doing it. Look, all I wanted to suggest
Would you like some tea? I could make some if youd like to walk back to the center. Peppermint? Apple? Chamomile?
Oh no, thank you. He loathed tea, particularly the herbal variety, but people were always offering him cups of it. About my proposal, though. You do know Edie Robinson? I met her mother today and I rather had the sense that time hangs heavy on occasion and she becomes depressed. I know youre always short of volunteers and
Perfect. Beth beamed. The girls would love having a surrogate grandmother to help with the babies, and if Mrs. Robinson is anything like my mother, theres nothing shed enjoy more than being surrounded by babies and young people.
Good. Ill ring Edie today, he said, quick to grasp at any excuse. Perhaps he could determine whether there really was a safari-suited boyfriend, or if that was just a polite excuse, in which case He realized that Beth was watching him as though she had something more to say. He smiled and she glanced down at her feet, then up at him.
.
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, (https://www.litres.ru/janice-macdonald/return-to-little-hills/) .
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Janice Macdonald
Home sweet home!Award-winning journalist Edie Robinson has come home to help out. But she's back for only a month. Much as she loves her family, that's all she can take of small-town life and her elderly mother's constant complaints: "Why can't you be like your married sister? Why did you buy the single-ply toilet paper? When are you going to settle down? No wonder you're forty and still don't have a husband."When Edie meets the new school principal, Peter Darling, she's determined to fight the instant attraction she feels. After all, her stay in Little Hills, Missouri, is only temporary, while Peter and his four young daughters are happy with their new home.But love has a way of changing perspectives. Now Edie's beginning to see her home, her familyand her futurethrough new eyes.
Zowee! Edie thought as she walked back across the campus to her mothers car. Zowee! Zowee! Zowee!
In the car she pulled off her jacket, tossed it onto the back seat, kicked off her heels, which had elevated her exactly to the level of Peter Darlings gray-green eyes, threw them into the back, too, and sat grinning idiotically at the cracked green vinyl-covered dashboard.
Zowee!
Shaking her head, she pulled down the driving mirror to look at her face: flushed scarlet. The car, she noted belatedly, was a furnace. She rolled down the drivers window, still seeing Peter Darlings face.
Zowee!
If every female in the place wasnt having indecent dreams about him, shedeat her press pass.
Dear Reader,
Sometimes I think that writing fiction is a little like making a patchwork quiltyou take a little of this, a piece of that and, oh yes, got to find a place for that little scrap. I felt that way as I wrote Return to Little Hills. While the characters, the situations and the locales are all fiction, I frequently found myself digging into the ragbag of my own life.
Okay, this is the time to sayI should probably underline this partthat my own elderly mother, while hard of hearing, is much more kind, understanding and all-around wonderful than Edies mother. Are you reading this, Mum? And my sister, Kathleen, isthankfullynothing at all like Viv. Okay, Kaff?
That said, though, I really enjoy writing about the dynamics of family relationships. Families are a source of incredible joy and comfort and, lets face it, have the unique capacity to get under our skin in no time flat, as my heroine, Edie, discovers when she returns to her hometown of Little Hills, Missouri.
I hope you enjoy Return to Little Hills. Please write to me at Janice Macdonald, P.O. Box 101, 136 East 8th Street, Port Angeles, WA 98362, or visit my Web site at www.janicemacdonald.net.
Oh, one more thing. If, like Edie (and myself), youre a gooey-butter-cake aficionado, send me your recipes! Ill try to publish a few on my Web site.
Best wishes,
Janice
Return to Little Hills
Janice Macdonald
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Kaff, with much love
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER ONE
DONT SNAP AT ME, Edie Robinsons mother said as Edie maneuvered Maudes elderly Chevrolet Nova into the parking lot of the Little Hills IGA. No one asked you to come back. Youre busy, we all know that. Youve got an important job. Nobody expects anything from you. All I said was I needed toilet paper
You told me four times, Mom.
Why would I have said limes? Maudes voice was indignant. I wouldnt know what to do with a lime if it bit me on the nose. I need toilet paper anddenture cleaner, she added in a conspiratorial whisper. But if youre going to snap at me, forget it. Viv will take me. Viv can always make time, not that she isnt busy, too, but all I have to do is pick up the phone and
Viv walks on water, Mom. I dont. Sarcastic, Maude would have shot back if shed heard anything more than a muffled jumble of words. Youve always been sarcastic, Edith. With her right hand, Edie massaged the knot of tension in the back of her neck that usually only hit her when she procrastinated on a deadline, and cruised the lot for a parking space close to the market entrance. She watched a woman in pink tights and a maternity top load groceries and three small kids into a minivan. God. Three kids and the woman had to be at least fifteen years younger than she was. Edie glanced in the rearview mirror, frowned at the vertical lines around her mouth and thought to hell with it. When the van finally pulled away, Edie slid into the spot, switched off the ignition and turned in the seat to look directly at her mother.
Maude was eighty and, despite the late-summer Missouri heat, wore a black woolen cardigan over a cotton housedress blooming with improbably vivid peonies. On her feet, little pink ballerina-style slippers and knee-high support hose. For some reason, the sight of Maudes tiny slipper-clad feet and swollen ankles made Edie want to weep. She reached over and scooped up Maudes left hand in her own. Maudes felt soft and almost boneless, fingers clutched around a wad of tissue. I didnt mean to snap at you, Edie said. Im sorry.
Her chin trembling, Maude scrabbled for the door handle. Youve always had a short temper, Edith. I said to Viv just the other day, I never know whats going to set Edith off. Youll have to come and open this door for me, it sticks. Youre just like your father in that way. She pushed ineffectively at the door. Viv said shed have Ray look at it
Mom, leave the door alone. Ill open it for you. You need to get rid of this damn car. Unless, she muttered facetiously, youre going to start driving again.
Ham. Maude clutched her purse close to her chest. Theyve got that sliced ham on sale. I like a slice of ham for dinner. Cant eat anything too heavy before I go to bed, or Im up all night with heartburn. Viv tell you about the new principal at Rays school?
She mentioned him. An understatement. From the moment Viv picked her up at the airport the night before, her sister had talked about little else. Peter Darling: English, wife died of cancer, four small children, collects butterflies, Ray says he wont last. Too pie-in-the sky. Twenty years of journalism had trained her to isolate and retain the salient facts of any information she was given. Shed retained these particular snippets because the idea of raising four small children with or without a spouse appalled her and because shed probably meet Peter Darling tomorrow when she gave a talk to students at the school. Her brother-in-law, the assistant principal, had hit her with the request late last night and shed agreed before she realized she didnt particularly want to do it.
Too late now. She grabbed the keys, got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side. Waves of heat rose up from the parking lot. A line of sweat trickled down her back, pasting her cotton shirt to her skin. It had been nearly midnight when shed stepped out of the airport and the warm, moist temperature had hit her like a slap in the face. This morning, the relentlessly cheerful weatherman on Maudes ancient Magnavox had announced that the day promised to be another scorcher, even hotter than yesterday. Shed snapped off the set as hed been yammering on about the misery index.
No one expects anything from you. She pulled open the heavy door and leaned inside to unfasten her mothers seat belt. Maudes hair, soft and fine as cobwebs, brushed against her cheek. Edie caught a whiff of mothballs and peppermint candy. But youre glad Im here, arent you, Mom? You miss me sometimes. Dont you?
Okay, there you go. She stood back and extended her hand; Maude ignored it. Going to be another hot day, she said as Maude slowly swung her legs around. Youre going to bake in that sweater. Want me to help you off with it?
Dont rush me. Maudes little pink slippers were gingerly touching down on the asphalt. I know youre in a hurry, youre always in a hurry, but it takes me a while these days.
Take your time, Mom. Im not going anywhere. Her mothers face was flushed with heat and exertion and, as she helped her out of the car, Edie slid her palm under the shoulder of Maudes black sweater and felt damp warmth. Let me help you take it off, Mom. Youll be more comfortable.
Maude shook off Edies hand. The stores air-conditioned. Ill need my sweater.
You got it. Her arm linked in Maudes, they made their way slowly across the parking lot. Okay, toilet paper, denture cleaner and ham. Is that it?
Yams? Maude shook her head. Get some for yourself if you want, I wont eat any. She turned her pale blue eyes on Edie. You probably ate that sort of thing inwhere was it you were last? I cant keep up with all the places youre off to. I said to Vivian, no wonder Edith never married. What man would want to go traipsing around the world after her?
Ill get you a basket. At the entrance to the store, Edie separated a cart from the line and wheeled it over to Maude. There you go. Want me to push it for you?
I need it to lean on. Maude elbowed Edie aside. Now, Ill be as quick as I can, she said as they progressed sedately along the dairy aisle. Just dont lose your temper with me. Theres no call for it. Vivian doesnt snap at me the way you do, she knows it takes me longer these days. She said to me when we knew you were coming, she said, Mom. Ediths just going to upset you the way she always does. Viv thinks about these things.
Edie bit the inside of her lower lip very hard and sent a prayer aloft. Please, please give me patience. Half of my sisters saintliness would help, too. And please, please, I know its too late to expect much in the way of mother-daughter bonding. I know were not going to snuggle up in bed for heart-to-heart talks over mugs of cocoa, but please, please, let this be apleasant visit. And please, please, dont let me snap at her. Even though I didnt snap at her in the first place.
EDIE ROBINSON! the cashier shrieked some forty-five minutes later when Edie followed Maude with her brimming basket to the checkout line. My God, I dont believe it. When did you get back?
Last night. A package of toilet paper in one hand, Edie grinned at the woman shed last seen at their twenty-year high-school reunion whichshe did a quick mental calculationwas nearly three years ago. Honey Jones, she immediately observed, was probably fifteen pounds heavier than shed been back then and her blond hair was gray at the roots. God, youre shallow, Edie scolded herself as she began piling stuff on the conveyor belt. Yeah, but when youre barreling along the road to middle age, she justified, you notice these things. So, Honey, she said. Whats going on with you these days?
Honey grinned broadly. Same old, same old. Get up, go to work, come home, get dinner for Jim and the kids. Go to bed. Do it all over again the next day. But what about you? She glanced at Maude, who had dug a fistful of coupons from her purse and now held them close to her face as she slowly inspected each one. The last I heard, your mom said you were in
Afghanistan, Edie said when it became clear the answer wasnt on the tip of Honeys tongue Before that, Bosnia. Chechnya, Somalia, Rwanda. Shed covered them all. Dangerous, difficult, complex, frustrating. But a piece of cake compared to Little Hills, Missouri. Doing okay, Mom? Want me to help you sort through those coupons?
Frozen peas, Maude said. Too much sodium in the canned ones.
So youre just back for a visit? Honey asked.
A month. Moms decided the house is too much for her, living alone and everything. My sister thinks Mom would be happier in amore structured environment, so Im back to help her find something.
Vivs such a doll, Honey said. So patient. Always a smile. I dont know how she does it.
Yeah. Edie forced a smile of her own. Moms lucky to have her living close by.
Edies giving a talk at Rays school tomorrow, Maude said. Rays the principal. Hes married to my daughter Vivian.
I know, Mrs. Robinson, Honey said, kindly as though to a child. I was a bridesmaid at their wedding. She looked at Edie. Assistant principal, right? My kids a junior there. I guess youve heard all about the new principal, huh?
Yeah. Viv filled me in. Everyone seems all agog.
Thats small-town life for you, Honey said and shook her head. I cant even imagine your life. The farthest Ive ever been is New Jersey. Do you get scared? I mean, all that shooting and everything.
Edie shrugged and thought about the bullet in Sarajevo. Shed left her room for five minutes to talk to a photographer about the story they were working on. She returned to a cloud of dust and a .50-caliber slug embedded in the wall behind the desk shed been using. If shed been there, the bullet would have gone right through her forehead. Shed kept the bullet. You take your chances, she said. Its part of the deal.
Ive got coupons, Maude announced. Here, Edith, you sort them out. Dont know why they make the writing so small. Did Edith tell you about her big award? she asked Honey. Twenty-five cents off the coffee, the coupon is here somewhere. And the canned salmon is two for three dollars. Edith, look at these coupons. I know you cant be bothered with that sort of thing, but its a savings, let me tell you. My daughter thinks money grows on trees, she said with a glance at the cashier. Always been that way. I remember Vivian used to save her allowance until she could get something she really wanted, but not Edith. As soon as she got it, she spent it. Still that way.
Edie exchanged glances with the cashier, who smiled sympathetically.
In your mothers eyes you never grow up. Honey scanned a roll of paper towels. Doesnt matter if youre fifteen or fifty, youre always this kid who doesnt have sense enough to cross the road. She reached for a can of pineapple chunks. So. Tell me about your award.
Oh Edie started sorting Maudes coupons into little piles. I got a Pulitzer for a series on the rebels in El Salvador. She picked up a ten-cents off coupon for grape jelly and checked the contents of the basket to see if shed actually picked up the jelly as Maude had asked her to. It was a team effort though, three other reporters and myself. I couldnt have done it without them.
Wow. Honeys eyes were shining. I am so proud of you, Edie. But, hey, we always knew you were smart. Sono husband on the horizon?
You got grape jelly. Maude shoved the jar under Edies nose.
I know, Mom. She looked at Maude, whose eyes, brimming and clouded by cataracts, could look frighteningly hostile. You said thats what you wanted.
I said strawberry.
You said grape.
Strawberry, Maude said. Thats my daughter for you, she said with a sigh. Never listens. Never has. Snaps at me too.
Edie held her breath. I wont snap again if it kills me. And it might.
Honey winked at Edie. So, no handsome man in your life? she asked, rephrasing the question this time.
No man, handsome or otherwise. Edie took the grape jelly from Maude. Wait right there, Mom. Ill go back and get the strawberry. Anything else while Im at it? Maude didnt answer, but as Edie walked away, she could hear Maudes voice telling Honey, Ediell never marry. Too darn independent and set in her ways.
LUTHER HIGH SCHOOL principal Peter Darling stood in the sweltering heat at the side of the quad watching the faces of the assembled students for signs that they were actually listening to the tall woman up at the podium. To his vast relief, he saw no signs of the pushing and snickering and not-so-muffled yawns that had turned last weeks spotlight-on-careers program into an embarrassing fiasco. The assistant principal, openly skeptical about a weekly spotlight on careers, had smirked afterward that maybe they should line up hookers and pimps to discuss their work, with possibly a spotlight on auto theft and strong-arm robberythe lines of work for which most Luther High kids were destined. Then to Peters surprise, Ray had done an apparent about-face and suggested that his sister-in-law would be willing to speak.
Peter watched the kids who, from their intent expressions, all appeared to be contemplating a career in journalism. Of course, Edie Robinsonwith her sleek toffee-colored hair and photogenic smilewas no doubt part of the appeal.
What do I like best about my job? shed just asked in response to a question thrown out by a girl in the front row. Everything. The excitement, the variety. I think people often become unhappy because theyre just dissatisfied with the way things are in the place where they live. That doesnt happen to me. Im always going somewhere else. If I dont like my current circumstanceoh well, tomorrow Ill get on a plane and be on the other side of the world. New situation, new country, new experiences. I live in hotels. I eat in restaurants. I leave my laundry in a plastic bag in the hall outside my door. Almost all my friends are other journalists. My life is exclusively travel and work. And thats exactly the way I like it.
Or to put it another way, Ray Jenkins muttered in Peters ear, Edith never has to think about anyone but herself. Which she never did anyway, even before she got to be a hotshot journalist. Kind of explains why shes forty and never been married. You wanna hear about the stuff shes not telling you, ask me. I used to go with her before I came to my senses and married her sister.
Apart from mild surprise that the assistant principal might have anything at all in common with the woman at the podium, Peter had no interest in Ray Jenkinss personal life, so he ignored the remark and made his way over to the stage just as Edie, having wrapped up her talk, was stepping down. He motioned for her to stay put and addressed the students himself, inviting them to show their appreciation for the interesting and informative talk. They complied with great enthusiasm, punctuating their applause with a few whoops and whistles.
He followed Edie off the stage, where she was now regarding him with very faint amusement in her light, amber-colored eyes. Her face and throat were lightly tanned and she wore an off-white trouser suit in a thin material that draped gracefully on her tall, angular figure. There was a cool confidence about her that made it quite easy for him to imagine her calmly reading in a bathtub as mortar shells flew around. The image intrigued him.
Riveting talk. The students were captivated and, trust me, theyre a tough audience.
She eyed him for a moment. North of London, but not as far north as, say, Birmingham. Lived in the States foroh, ten years or so. Long enough to have lost a little of the accent.
He laughed, taken aback. Very good. Malvern, actually. And Ive been here twelve years. Youve spent time in England, have you?
Five years in the London bureau, some time ago, though. I used to be a whiz at identifying regional accents. I thought I might have lost my touch.
Clearly, you havent.
Im sure theres an interesting story about how a man from Malvern, England, came to be a high-school principal in Little Hills, Missouri, but she glanced around I see a line forming to talk to you, so Ill justinvent my own version of the facts.
Or you could call me, he said, surprising himself. And we could exchange life stories over dinner.
Thank you, she said. But I think Ill stick with my invented version.
Pity, he said. And then as he was about to let her go, he said, Ive noticed that your brother-in-law calls you Edith. Is it Edith, or Edie? he asked.
Edie, she said. Only my family calls me Edithand I tolerate that very poorly. A moment passed. Ive noticed that my brother-in-law calls you Pete. Is it Peter, or Pete?
Peter. He grimaced slightly. I suppose it sounds terribly formal, doesnt it?
It sounds fine, she said.
ZOWEE, Edie thought as she walked back across the campus to Maudes car. Zowee. Zowee. Zowee. In the car, she pulled off her jacket, tossed it in the back seat, kicked off her heels, which had elevated her exactly to the level of Peter Darlings gray-green eyes, threw them in the back, too, and sat grinning idiotically at the cracked, green vinylcovered dashboard. Zowee. Shaking her head, she pulled down the driving mirror to look at her face: flushed scarlet. The car, she noted belatedly, was a furnace. She rolled down the drivers window, still seeing Peter Darlings face. Zowee. If every female in that school wasnt having indecent dreams about him, shedeat her press pass.
THE OLD BLACK DIAL PHONE in the hallway was ringing when Edie let herself into Maudes house some thirty minutes later. Her mother, Edie thought as she picked up the heavy receiver, should at least have a portable that she could carry around the house, but Maude wasnt about to go easy into the digital age. The old one suited her just fine, thank you very much. Edie dragged the phone to the stairs and sat on the bottom step, listening to Vivian describe the pot roast shed just put in the oven for dinner that night. Edie should bring Maude over at about six, Viv said.
Edie leaned back against the stairs and stifled a groan. Family gatherings ranked low on her list of ways to spend a pleasant evening. Viv would outdo herself with the food, then complain of being exhausted. Ray would be smarmy and insinuating. Shed lost touch completely with her nephews. And Maude would spend the whole time telling everyone that she didnt know what shed done to deserve the way her youngest daughter was always snapping at her.
Home sweet home. Thank God it was only for a month. Looking on the bright side, Viv would probably continue her rant about Peter Darling. Funny how much more interesting that prospect was, now that shed met him.
Mom doesnt feed herself properly, Viv was saying now. And Im sure youve probably forgotten all you never learned about cooking. Ill do the roast and then Ill wrap up whats left and you can take it back to Moms. That way, youll both have something decent to eat.
From the stairs, where she remained after hanging up the phone, Edie could see Maude at her chair by the window. She spends hours there, Viv had complained on the ride from the airport. Just staring out at the street. Thats why she needs to get out of that house and into a place where she can be with other people her own age.
Elbows on her knees, Edie sat for a while watching her mother from the dim and musty hallway. Maude, at her lace-curtained window post, in a fusty room crammed with knickknacks, crocheted mats, knitted cushions, cuckoo clocks and all the detritus accumulated over a lifetime, seemed so organic to the house that Edie found herself wondering whether uprooting her might cause Maude to just wither and die sooner than she might if she were left to live out her life at home.
But when she mentioned the thought to Vivian that night, her sister looked impatient.
Edie, trust me, I spend a lot more time with Mom than you do. She needs to get rid of that house.
Edie, sprawled on the massive off-white leather couch in Viv and Rays cavernous family room, channel surfing on their massive TV because Vivian had laughed incredulously at her offer to help out, conceded that Viv was probably right. Still, she would sound Maude out anyway, just to be certain in her own mind. Are you sure I cant do anything to help? she called to Viv, who hadnt left the kitchen for the past hour.
Vivian laughed. Thanks, but no thanks, Eed. I can manage better without your help. Trust me. Just relax.
So she tried. She channel surfed some more, but found herself critiquing the correspondents performance on every new station. It was hard to forget her vocation, even when she wasnt working. Finally, she let her thoughts drift. She thought for a bit about her sister in the kitchen, whom she normally thought very little about. Coming home always brought the old memories flooding back. Viv. Poor Viv, the pretty but asthmatic child. She could still hear Maude scolding, Oh Edith, dont be so selfish. Let Viv have the doll. Or the candy, or the book or whatever else it was that Viv might want. Youre such a lucky girl, you have your health. Look at poor Viv. And Edie would look at Viv and feel not sympathy but envy because Viv had Maudes attention and she didnt.
All that old, bitter stuff that she hardly ever thought about now. But, deep inside, she still felt it, that same need for her mothers approval and acceptance. Love me. Need me. Ben, she reflected, had failed badly in that regard. Dont look for commitment from me, hed said. Pretty much the last significant thing hed said, as a matter of fact. If other events that night hadnt overshadowed everything else, those words would have plunged her into a dark void of gloom. Instead, shed developed a sort of emotional amnesia. Ben would escape or be released; she knew that much for sure. After that, who knew? Her thumb on the button of the remote, she gazed at the flickering images. A perfume ad with heartbreakingly beautiful people locked in dreamy embraces. Happy women folding diapers, mopping floors, sending happy kids off to school.
So you really like the house? Viv called from the kitchen. We love it, but sometimes I get freaked at how much we had to go into debt Want a glass of wine?
Maybe later. Edie called back. Viv and Ray had bought the house two months ago. It was a sprawling mock Tudor that sat amidst similar houses on the edge of what Edie remembered had once been bean fields. It had struck her, as shed trailed Viv around earlier, dutifully oohing and aahing, that everything about the housefrom the sweeping driveway and mirrored guest bathroom with its elaborate gold-plated fixtures, to the cream-and-gold master bedroomseemed new, immense and designed to impress. Fleetingly, shed wondered what assistant principals made these days, but it wasnt a question to ask. Whats not to like about the house? she answered rhetorically as televised images flickered hypnotically across her line of vision.
We like to entertain, Viv, still in the kitchen, was saying now. Its something Ray and I both enjoy.
Well, youve got a great place to do it in. A cartoon bird gave way to an anchorwomans face and Edies thumb paused on the remote. and the search continues, the announcer said, for American freelance journalist Ben Morris, captured last month on assignment in Iraq. Morris and three other journalists came under fire when the jeep they were riding in was ambushed by gunmen
CHAPTER TWO
EDIE STARED transfixed, but the announcers dry recap of that nightmarish ride told her nothing she hadnt relived endlessly ever since. Hold on to your hat, Eed, Ben had said. Were going to outrun them. She remembered the way his teeth had gleamed in the dark night. The roar as hed gunned the jeep, the terrifying careen up the dark mountainside with no headlights on. He loves this, she remembered thinking. Its his essence. Im an idiot to even think about commitment And then the jeep had flipped.
Carrot sticks, cauliflower and a no-fat dip. Vivian set a tray on the chrome-and-glass coffee table and flopped down on the couch beside Edie. Im not real sure about the carrot sticks, they have a bunch of carbs and Im on this low-carb diet. Doesnt it seem weird to think of carrots as a no-no? I mean, carrots and cottage cheese used to be what youd eat when you were trying to drop a few pounds, but supposedly now theyre off limits. Too high carb. If you want some wine, let me know. Its not on the dietbeaucoup carbs, although gins okay. Want some gin?
Edie blinked, staring at Viv as though shed been roused from a dream that still seemed real. Viv smiled. Kitchen warmth had flushed her face and her shoulder-length hair, hardly faded from the strawberry blond it had been in high school, fell into a smooth bob. Vivians the pretty one, Maude would say. But youre smart, Edie.
Edie rubbed her eyes. Sorry. Im miles away. Wheres Mom? I thought she was out in the kitchen with you.
Ray ran her down to the IGA to get denture cleaner. I didnt want to tell you, but shed worked herself up into quite a tizzy about it and
I took her to the IGA this morning, Edie said. We got denture cleaner. I remember taking it off the shelf.
Viv reached over to pat Edies knee. It was the wrong kind, sweetie, she said maternally. Dont blame yourself. How would you know that? Ive got beer too. Beer, wine, gin, you name it. Im not drinking, though. If I dont get this extra weight off Im going to kill myself. What do you think about these jeans? She jumped up, turned to present a rear view. Do they make my hips look kind of wide? Tell me, I wont be mad, honestly.
You look fine, Viv. Edie said, her mind still on Maudes shopping trip. So why didnt Mom say something?
Viv sat down again. Shes scared of you, sweetie, she said softly as though there was a chance Maude might overhear. She says you snap at her. You know, I might cheat a little and have some wine. Want some?
Im fine. Edie shook her head. No, Im not. Im furious. God, it kills me. I tried to be so patient with her. I was patient. For me, anyway. And I didnt snap at her in the first place. Maybe I overreacted slightly when she told me for the fourth time that she needed toilet paper, but
Hey, Eed. Viv reached for a carrot stick. Can we not talk about Mom for a minute? Youre going to be here for a while, well have plenty of time to discuss her. Trust me. Come on, eat something.
Edie took a carrot stick. Will the boys be here for dinner?
Absolutely, Viv said. Theyre always talking about their glamorous Aunt Edie.
Edie gave her sister a skeptical look.
Really. One of themI think it was Ericwas asking something about you just the other day, Viv said. Frankly though, Edie, you havent exactly been a big part of their lives. She dunked her carrot stick in dip, twirling it for a second. Back to Mom, though. Shes a novelty to you, but
Shes my mother, Viv. And trust me, I dont find her much of a novelty.
Well, you know what I mean. In a couple of weeks, youll be flying off to Boogawongabooboo, or wherever, but Ill be right here listening to Mom tell me about the little sore up her nose. Eat something, Edie. She reached for a cauliflower floret. Youre making me feel like a pig. How come you stay skinny when everyone else balloons up as soon as they hit thirty?
Clean living, Edie said.
Yeah, sure. Vivian eyed her for a moment. Frankly though, and please dont take this wrong, I think having a little fat actually makes a woman look younger. Personally, I wouldnt want to be too skinny. It gives you this drawn, dried-up look.
Edie smiled politely. You think so?
Ray thinks so too. Scrawny chickens, he calls them. She reached for a napkin and dabbed at a spot of dip on the glass coffee table. I mean in general, of course.
Of course, Edie said. What little sore?
Little sore? Vivian looked momentarily confused. Oh, Moms little sore. Shes always got one up her nose. I swear to God, the minute I sit down to breakfast, the phone rings and its Mom going on about how the little sore bleeds every time she blows her nose. I cant even look at strawberry jam these days.
Edie laughed. Despite everything, she wanted, suddenly, to embrace her sister. The perfunctory little hug at the airport had been disappointing. On some level, she realized now, shed been looking to Viv for the same thing she sought in Maude. Love me, need me. Tell me not to leave again. Ironic, this need, when she would battle to the death anyone who tried to wrest away her shield of independence and self-sufficiency. Odd, too, that the need only seemed to trouble her when she returned home.
You know what? Vivian said. I am going to have some wine. How often does my little sister honor us with her presence? Be right back.
When she returned a moment later, she had two glasses and a bottle of wine. Blush, Edie observed with a surreptitious glance at the label. Snob, she scolded herself. Ben had once used a UN transport plane to ship two cases of Italian wine to Sarajevo. Nearly broke my back carrying it to the car, hed said as hed poured her a glass. But it beats the hell out of the local plonk.
Edie watched Viv fill two balloon-shaped glasses with pale pink wine. So, she said. Shall we make a toast?
Vivian hooted. Shall we make a toast? Shall? Jeez, Edie, when did you start using words like shall? You sound like Peter Darling. Thats one of the things Ray hates about him, one of many things. Apart from the fact hes younger than Ray and gorgeous. She downed half her wine and refilled the glass. Talk like everyone else, for Gods sake. This is Little Hills not Buckingham Palace. She paused for a moment. Sorry. I didnt mean to get started, its just that I hear enough about Peter Darling from Ray. She touched her glass to Edies. To my little sister with her hoity-toity voice being home again. Joking, Eed. She patted Edies knee. Dont look at me like that. Its great to have you here. Really.
Its great to be here, Edie said, averting her eyes.
Vivian glanced over her shoulder and moved fractionally closer. Im in a quandary, Edie. A real quandary. Remember Beth Herman?
Edie thought. Beth Herman from high school?
Viv nodded. She works at Luther now. Peter Darling hired her to run this new teen mother programwhich Ray says is a complete waste of money. All it does is encourage kids to have sex, but anyway, shes in love with him.
Ray?
Viv smacked Edies knee. Peter Darling, doofus. I mean, shes gaga over him and she keeps coming to me for advice. Im happy for her, of courseI mean, Beths such a sweet girl, she deserves to find someonebut Im torn. I hear Ray going on about what an idiot the guy is and Beth telling me how hes so wonderful and I dont know whether I should be encouraging her or what.
Hmm. Edie took a carrot stick and tried to think of something to say. Well, he seems very nice, she said neutrally. Interesting. Attractive.
Attractive. Viv hooted. Did you see him? Hes gorgeous. I mean, drop-dead gorgeous. Hes like a cross between Ralph Fiennes, Daniel Day-Lewis andwho was that poet I had to study in high school? Myron, or something?
Byron?
Yeah, I guess. I dont know what Byron looks like, but thats what Beth says. I tell you She sighed loudly. If its not one thing, its another. Any idea what I should do?
Well, Viv, its not really your problem, is it? Peter and Beth are adults. A thought occurred to her. Is it mutual?
Who knows? Beth isnt sure, but shes so sweet and nice and theyre both in education. How could it not be? And shed be a wonderful mother to his little girls. I mean, how many women would want to take on four kids?
Certainly not me, Edie said. Although, having met Peter Darling, she felt quite sure hed have no shortage of candidates. Sounds like a nightmare.
Well, youve never had the maternal streak. Viv poured more wine. Anyway, enough of that. Im worried about Ray. Here hes been knocking himself out for years, nothing he wouldnt do for those kids. And everyone just knew he was a shoe-in for principal once Frank Brown retired, but then what happens? The school board brings in this Peter Darling, whos probably five years younger than Raywhich, trust me, doesnt help thingsand so damn pie-in-the-sky you wouldnt believe it.
Edie stifled a yawn. Except for the Beth Herman element, theyd been over essentially the same ground on the ride home from the airport. She hadnt been particularly interested then and, despite the new principals considerable appeal, time hadnt increased her thirst to know more. What she wanted to do was collect Maude, drive back to her mothers house and then sink into oblivion. Selfish, selfish, Maudes voice scolded deep in her brain. Youve always been selfish, Edith. She drank some wine and tried not to grimace at the flowery sweet taste.
What exactly do you mean by pie-in-the sky? she asked in a tone that made her think she should have a pen in one hand and a notebook on her knee.
Oh Viv reached for the wine again. You know what? The hell with this rabbit food, I need salt and fat. She jumped up again and returned a moment later. Actually, its some sort of artificial fat, she said as she dumped a bag of chips into a yellow bowl. Dont ask me how, but they say your body doesnt recognize it, so it passes right through you. God, that sounds gross, huh? Come ondont make me feel like a pig. Try one. Have some more wine. She reached to refill Edies glass, and then the front door slammed.
Shh. Viv flashed Edie a warning look and drained the last of her wine. Heres Ray. Dont mention Peter Darlings name or the whole evening will be ruined.
Hey, Edith, Ray said with a glance at the wine bottle. Been leading my wife astray? Nothing changes, huh?
Now, Ray, be nice. Vivian gathered up the wine and glasses. Poor Edies been with Mom all day, she needed a little drinky. She was just telling me about her job. God, youd better be glad youve got me. Listen, babe, you stay and talk to Edie while I go into the living room and make Mom pretty. Her hair needs a trim, she said to Edie, And, naturally, she wont let anyone but me work on it. She winked at Edie. Now, be good, you two. Ill be back in a jiff to finish dinner.
Let me give you a hand. Edie extracted herself from the billowing contours of the couch. What can I do?
Ray hooted. You mean youve learned to cook, Edith? What you going to feed us, stewed yak or something?
Ray. Viv who had disappeared into the kitchen, reappeared in the doorway, grinning widely as she shook her head at her husband. I told you to be nice. Ignore him, sweetie, she told Edie. Hes just showing off. Could you maybe make a salad?
Ill give it a try, Edie said, biting back a sarcastic response. In the kitchen, she eyed the wineglasses Viv had set in the sink. Her own was still full. Perhaps shed just hold her breath and gulp it down; anesthesia against the rest of the evening. And then Ray was behind her, his arms around her waist. She removed his hands and turned to look at him. Lettuce, she said, increasing the distance between them. You wouldnt know if Viv has any tomatoes, I guess. She pulled open the refrigerators stainless-steel door. Cold air hit her face. Lettuce, lettuce, lettuce, she said. Bottom drawer. Crisper. God, Ive never seen a refrigerator this big. You could chill ayak. Okay, lettuce.
So how long has it been since I saw you last? Ray asked. Five years?
Six. She pulled out the lettuce and closed the door. Ray leaned against the sink, arms folded across his chest. Shed taken his measure, too; he had lines around his eyes now, the thick blond hair had faded and thinned, and the smile that had made her knees weak in high school struck her as goofy now. Her face colored, anyway. When I came back for the high-school reunion, you and Viv were on vacation. Before that it was Moms heart attack. That was the last time.
He nodded. Sorry I couldnt be at the airport to meet you. School board meeting. New principals big on everyone attending. What do you think of him? Kind of out of place with Luther kids, isnt he?
Oh, I dont know. She took the lettuce to the sink and began separating leaves. He seemed fine to me. What do you see as the problem?
Aagh. Ray shrugged. Dont even get me started. He wont last long, thats all I know. I could have had the job if Id wanted it. School board practically begged me, but I wasnt interestedtoo much work. Ive got a family. The boys. More important things in life than chaining yourself to a desk. He laughed. Course, Im probably telling that to the wrong person, right, Eed?
Edie felt the knot in her shoulders ratchet up another notch. Salad. Could she possibly do a Caesar? Shed once spent half a day putting together a Caesar salad for Ben. Finding the necessary ingredients in a shattered Belgrade marketplace had been a challenge, but hed confessed to a nostalgic yearning for the kind of Caesar salad hed enjoyed at a certain Los Angeles restaurant. Hed been unimpressed, less by the salad than by what the effort said about her priorities. Dont go getting domestic on me, Edie, hed warned. Its not what I need or want.
She took a couple of eggs from the fridge and set them in a pan of water to simmer. Back at the fridge, she dug around for anything resembling Parmesan. She could feel Rays eyes on her back.
So what time will the boys be here? She thought again about the nephews shed watched grow, mostly through pictures sent by Vivian, from cute, wide-eyed babies to strapping, athletic teenagers and felt a stab of remorse. I will get to see them, right?
Oh sure, Ray said vaguely. Hey, Eed, remember that day after school when we were goofing around in your moms kitchen and I squeezed Thousand Island dressing into your mouth?
Edie watched his face for a moment. Not a day goes by that I dont relive that experience, Ray. It haunts my dreams.
Rays forehead creased. You being sarcastic?
Bingo.
You ever try not being sarcastic for more than five minutes?
Once. I was bored.
Ray shook his head. Clearly, there was no hope for her. He took a beer from the fridge, popped the top, and stood with his back against the granite countertop watching her move around the kitchen.
You were pretty hot back then, he said.
Thank you, Ray. So were you. Back then.
You ever think about the way things might have turned out if wed stayed together?
No, Ray. She looked directly at him. I dont. Im happy with my life. And it looks like youre doing well too. This house, by the way, she said with a sweeping gesture at the kitchen, is amazing.
You like it? Viv give you the grand tour?
She did. Behind the jars of mayonnaise and bottles of ketchup and mustard, Edie found a green tub of grated Romano cheese. Its huge. You guys must get lost going from one room to another. She set the cheese down on the center island. Out in the living room, she could see the top of Maudes white head. Her mother had all but disappeared amidst the massive pillowy cushions of the couch. The coffee table on which Maudes feet rested was several feet of mirrored glass atop a low chrome cylinder. Very elegant, Edie said. Impressive.
Ray gave her a look that seemed to calculate her sincerity. But it isnt what youd buy, right?
What does that matter? Its your house.
Ray smiled. But youd buy something down in the Historic District, wouldnt you? he persisted. If you ever settled down and came back home, I mean. Every time Viv and I go down Roosevelt, we see this old Victorian place thats been for sale forever and she always says, Thats what Edie would go for.
Edie shrugged, thinking of the astronomically priced bungalow off Sunset Boulevard shed once been tempted to buy, mostly because it reminded her of some of the older homes in Little Hills. For what it cost, she could have bought two of them and had change to spare.
Its a moot point, Ray, because Im not about to settle down and come back home. Married to my work, she said. Kind of like your new principal.
Goddamn butterfly collector. His expression darkened. Thanks for mentioning him again, Edie. Now youve ruined my mood altogether. Head stuck up in the clouds. Hasnt figured out that were dealing with a bunch of loser kids. Theyre not going to be Rhodes scholars, for Gods sake. Get em in, get em out, thats the best you can do with them.
So what? She asked and then, too late, remembered Vivians admonition. She pushed on, anyway. He thinks some of them might have potential or something?
Ray narrowed his eyes at her. You havent changed a whole lot, have you?
I guess not, she said. Neither have you.
See, thats what I mean. With you, everything has to turn into some goddamn battle. You really dont give a damn whether Im right or wrong about this guy. You just want an argument. Well, Ill tell you. Give Peter Darling six months around some of those kids at Luther and I bet you a six-pack he wont be collecting butterflies for long.
God, Edie, Vivian said from the doorway. I told you not to get Ray fired up. Now youve ruined the whole evening.
THE LAST THING I want to do is interfere in your life, Peters sister, Sophia, said as they sat on a park bench watching the children play. But its nearly two years now and, quite honestly, as much as I adore the girls, I do have a life back in England. This popping back and forth for extended visits is getting a bit much.
Has George complained? George was Sophias longtime companion, but Peter gathered that the relationship was problematic. So much so that when Sophia first volunteered to come and look after the girls, shed intimated that it would be a relief to put some distance between herself and George. In the last few weeks though, George had been calling quite frequently.
Hes grumbling a bit, but its not that, really. I dont quite trust anyone to handle the nursery as well as I can. Its silly of meIm sure Trudy does a perfectly competent jobbut I envision the assistants selling half-dead flowers and not offering the kind of variety people have come to expect.
I dont expect you to stay forever, Sophia. The girls know that, too.
He stretched his legs out. His oldest daughter, Natalie, was pushing the twins on side-by-side swings. Natalie was eight; Abbie and Kate were four. Delphina, the seven year-old, sat off to one side, her expression wistful. A quiet and solitary child, she seemed always in the shadows of her sisters play. He worried about Delphina. He worried about them all. Natalie was saddled with too much responsibility for a child of her age; the twins still sucked their thumbs. Last night, Abbie had wet the bedthe third time in a week.
Peter Sophia knocked on his temple are you in there somewhere?
Thinking, he said.
Not about a sudden sighting of the swallow-tailed thingamajig, I hope.
Painted swallowtail. He grinned. Actually it was rather unusual to spot one so far north this late in the yearbut no, I was thinking about what you were saying. Youve been an incredible help with the girls, but I do understand that you need to go home.
What will you do?
Look around for a live-in nanny, I suppose. Id planned to do that after Deborah died
Sophia rubbed his arm.
Im fine.
Still miss her?
Of course.
Life goes on, though.
Please spare me the homilies, Sophia. Ill work things out in my own way.
Im sure you will.
Deborah was always very pragmatic and unsentimental, he said. As soon as we knew how ill she was we discussed what would happen with the girls. She was convinced Id be married within the year. Quite adamant really that I should be married, that it would be better for us all.
I always did admire Deborahs intelligence, Sophia said. Pity that her husband is less gifted in that regard.
Peter shot her a sideways glance.
Well, for heavens sake, Peter. Look at that Amelia woman you were so besotted with. The girls didnt have the foggiest idea what to make of her. And she was obviously quite bewildered by them. Honestly, sometimes I want to grab your shoulders and shake you very, very hard. How could you not have seen that this woman was all wrong for you? It was apparent to me the moment you introduced her.
Perhaps you should have warned me.
I did.
Oh. He grinned. Perhaps I should have listened.
Why wont you find a nice woman?
Amelia was nice.
Amelia was an actress.
Actresses cant be nice?
I wouldnt know firsthand, Peter, my life being considerably less exotic than yours, but Amelia struck me asa tart.
Sophia, Peter said, Amelia wasnt a tart. Perhaps not a candidate for marriage, but not a tart.
Well, thats as may be, Sophia said darkly. But why are you drawn only to unsuitable women?
Because, Peter said honestly, as much as Id like to meet a woman who could love the girls and create the sort of home Deborah and I had, I want more than a mother replacement. I want to be in love.
Of course you do, Sophia said. And?
And Ive discovered that Im not particularly attracted to nice women who want to settle down and have children.
Rubbish. Sophia dismissed the comment with a flap of her hand. You simply have to put your mind to it. What we need, she said briskly, is a plan. Now, wipe that stupid grin off your face and think very carefully. Not about the kind of woman to whom youve typically been attracted Were looking for wife material. Start naming names. Were thinking sweet, potentially maternal and absolutely not flighty. Come on, there must be someone at school. Think hard.
Betty Jean Battaglio, he said after five minutes of not very hard thinking.
Good. Sophia smiled. Tell me about her.
Shes my secretary, he said.
Sophia looked dubious. Hmm. Not always advisable to dip the pen into the company inkwell, as it were, but if youre discreet What does she look like?
Dark hair, blue eyes. Pictures of cats all over her desk.
Loves animals. Sophia nodded. Sounds promising. What else?
Won a gold medal at the Little Hills fair for her cherry cobbler.
Enjoys cooking. Perfect, Sophia said. And shes single?
Widowed.
Widowed? Sophia arched an eyebrow. How old is she?
Sixty-five, Peter said. Were in the process of planning her retirement party.
Sophia gave a snort of disgust. Youre just not taking this seriously.
Yes, I am, Peter said and, just to prove it, the following morning he called Edie Robinson to invite her to the theater.
CHAPTER THREE
THE THEATER? When the phone rang, Edie had braced herself for another sisterly self-improvement lecture. Now she sat on the floor in the hallway of her mothers house talking to Peter Darling. Let me guess. Madame Butterfly.
Peter laughed. No, unfortunately. I dont think its playing anywhere. But will you join me, anyway? he asked. Saturday night.
She shifted the phone to her other ear. Peters voice was almost inaudible. You know what, Peter? I can hardly hear you. Are you whispering or something?
Just speaking softly. Im over at the teen mother center and
Is that where Beth works? Is she there?
Shes talking to a student.
Can she hear what youre saying?
No, of course not.
Why of course not?
Because I dont as a rule broadcast details of my private life. What does my asking you to the theater have to do with Beth, anyway?
Shes in love with you, Edie thought. Besotted, infatuated, head over heelsat least according to my sister, who also thinks youre gorgeous and could, of course, be doing a little projecting. God, it was so much easier to fly in and out of trouble spots. Perhaps she should drop a hint to Peter about Beths feelings for him. Maybe Beth wouldnt appreciate it, though. She herself would definitely not appreciate someone intervening on her behalf, especially with a co-worker. Better to say nothing.
Edie? Peter said. Are you still there?
Yes, sorry, I was thinking.
And whats the verdict?
No, Im sorry, Peter. Thank you for asking, but I really cant.
A jealous boyfriend in a safari suit?
Safari suit? She laughed. Youve seen too many movies.
But a jealous boyfriend nevertheless?
Essentially.
Perhaps we could take your mother as a chaperon, he said. Ill buy another ticket.
Thank you, she said, but no. Heres an idea, though. Beth absolutely loves the theater.
Does she? Peter asked with no discernible enthusiasm. Hmm.
Dont tell me Ive never done anything to make a difference in someones life, Edie thought as she replaced the receiver. And give me some credit for generous self-sacrifice. A night at the theater with Peter Darling has a whole lot of appeal. A whole lot of appeal.
PETER HAD JUST HUNG UP and was nursing his rejection, when Beth Herman dropped by his office with a picture of a butterfly. Beth wanted him to identify the butterfly before she hung the picture in her classroom.
Hmm. He lowered his head to peer closely. It looks rather like Heliconius charithonius. Note the long narrow black-and-yellow stripes on the wing. Although, of course, he added solemnly, the charithonius is not exactly indigenous to the state of Missouri.
I just assumed they were painted ladies, Beth said. But then thats pretty much the only butterfly I know of. She turned and retrieved a paper-wrapped package from her tote bag. A little gift for you. Her face colored as she handed it to him. Nothing much. I just saw it and thought of you.
How kind. He smiled at her. Beth had curly brown hair flecked with gray and wore a long gauzy skirt and the sort of knobby woolen cardigan his aunt Beatrice used to knit. Actually, she rather reminded him of his aunt Beatricesame gentle demeanor and low, patient voice. A thought hit him like a thwack to the side of the head. He took a closer look at Beth. Although not his type, which he supposed was the good news, Beth was really rathersweetly attractive. He realized he was staring.
Beth, blushing wildly, smiled at him. Open it, she said.
He tore through several layers of paper and tissue. Shortly after hed accepted the position at Luther, the school district had sent over a press-information person to interview him for the newsletter. Foolishly, hed mentioned his avocation. Now a day didnt go by in which someone didnt present him with a butterfly knickknack. His classroom shelves were, embarrassingly, full of the sort of cups, plates and assorted trinkets that had once collected dust in his grandmothers parlor. What he couldnt bring himself to mention was that while he derived a great deal of pleasure from observing the insect in its natural habitat, he had no interest at all in painted depictions. Still, he felt quite certain that Sophia would approve of Beth.
As he removed yet another layer of paper, he glanced up briefly to see that Beth had been joined by a couple of other teachers, three students and the school security guard. All were grinning expectantly.
Ah. He removed a mug emblazoned with spring blooms and, of course, a dozen or so garishly colored butterflies, none of which bore the faintest resemblance to anything hed ever seen in nature. Ah, he said again.
What kind are they, Mr. Darling? one of the students asked.
Not absolutely certain. He turned the mug this way and that and frowned as though in deep thought. Possibly something indigenous to Hong Kong. Intriguing design. Thank you, Beth. Youre very kind. Perhaps we should have dinner, he thought. With everyone milling around though, it struck him as a less-than-opportune moment to extend an invitation.
Well She smiled. Im glad you like it.
Absolutely. He tried to picture Beth with the girls. Perhaps she would draw Delphina out of her shell. He thought she might. Well, he said. Thank you. Again.
She left then and he relegated his marriage quest to the far recesses of his brain. He spent an hour monitoring the performance of a newly hired English teacher, then headed back to administration. On the way, he encountered several people requiring his attention. A student who assured him she would literally die if she couldnt get her schedule changed, a math teacher who wanted to explain the failing grade shed been forced to give, a parent alleging her son was being unfairly singled out for discipline just because hed dyed his hair blue. Peter listened and nodded and made assurances that he would look into the matter, even as part of his mind was formulating a program to completely redesign the school grounds and provide entry-level job training in landscape design and horticulture for a group of particularly hard-core senior boys.
Throwaways. That was the term often used to describe Luther studentschildren who, for one reason or another, failed to thrive in their regular high school and transferred to Luther to accrue the credits needed to graduate. The view of Luther High, more commonly known as Loser High, as little more than a way station on the road to a life of drug dealing, petty crime and welfare was surprisingly entrenched. He intended to change all that.
Mr. Darling. Mr. Darling.
In the reception area of the administration building, a girl with a swinging ponytail and silver hoops at her ears waylaid him.
Mr. Darling, I need to talk to you. Her eyes widened. Its real important.
Mr. Darling. The security guard had also found him. Just so you know, the hinge on room 220 is still broken.
Peter, a counselor called from the copier machine. Got a problem I need to discuss with you.
Hey, Pete. Ray Jenkins, the assistant principal, clasped Peters arm. Were still on to meet at two?
Peter nodded. He didnt often instinctively dislike someone, but just the sound of Ray Jenkinss plaintive nasal twang irritated him. Equally irritating were Jenkinss overly chummy insistence on addressing him as Pete, his habit of parking the bloody great monster of a truck he drove in a way that took up half of Peters own space, and the assistant principals stunning familiarity with, seemingly, every section of the Missouri Educational Code.
In his office, Peter sat down behind his desk, folded his hands and regarded the girl with the silver earrings who had followed him in. Melissa Fowler wore the unofficial Luther girls uniform. Jeans that, threadbare knees aside, might have been sprayed on, a minuscule pink shirt and enormous clunky black shoes.
How are you, Melissa?
Good.
He met her eyes for a moment and her face went red.
Well, my Mom got fired, so its been kind of crazy. I have to baby-sit my little sisters
Theyre how old?
Two and three. And my brothers four. My mom had this really cool bartending job. She was making a ton of money, but then I guess she got into this thing with her bosshes this huge jerkand now shes looking for another job. Her face worked and she twisted one leg behind the other one. See, the thing is, I know I didnt do so good last semester
Well, Peter corrected.
Well, I didnt. Melissa said. But now Im doing really good, right? And now, like, I really want to graduate from my old school, Stephens High, with my friends. She hesitated. I want to be like that lady who came to talk to us yesterday. The reporter? She was really interesting. Im thinking thats what I want to do. I feel really, like, inspired.
Good. Peter sat back in his chair. Very glad to hear it. Youve seen the error of your ways, as it were, and are eager to diligently apply yourself.
She grinned. I guess.
Peter swiveled his chair to face the computer, tapped in her name and brought up her record. Melissa was luckier than most of the students at Luther. No father in the picture, but a mother who at least cared enough to attend the teacher-parent nights. Which did little to alter the reality that Melissa was essentially a fourteen-year-old substitute mother who, between meal preparation, child care and other domestic responsibilities, had precious little time left for schoolwork.
As her record came up, Peter reminded himself, as he did on a daily basis, of the parting advice the former principal had offered. These kids can get you right here. Hed tapped his chest. You can care deeply. You have to care. But at the same time, you must keep an emotional distance. If you dont, youll destroy yourself. And you wont do the children much good, either.
Right, then, Peter said. You need one hundred and twenty credits to graduate. So far, you only have fifty. Shall we talk about what we need to do?
Fifteen minutes later, Melissa was gone and Ray Jenkins was sitting in the chair she had occupied. Ray was, Peter guessed, at least five years his senior and had thinning fair hair, faded blue eyes and a pallor that suggested most of his waking hours were spent indoors. Peter had seen framed pictures on Rays office wall of his two sons in football uniforms. Both had the tall, blond, athletic looks that Peter imagined Ray had once possessed. And, something else about Ray, a weary sort of bitterness about the assistant principal made Peter suspect that not being promoted probably wasnt the first disappointment in his life.
Shes basically a goof-off, Ray said after Peter described the course hed laid out for Melissa. Dont let her con you. The real reason shes so hot to go back to Stephens is she started hanging around my son again.
She has a boyfriend, doesnt she? Peter thought for a moment. Yes, I know she does. Marcus Adams. I managed to get him into an auto-shop program and he was absolutely rhapsodizing about her. No drivers license yet, but he rides his bicycle over to her house and helps her baby-sit.
Rays lips curled slightly. Thats this week. All I know is shes always calling the house to talk to Brad. He said he felt sorry for her once and took her to a movie. Now he cant get rid of her.
Yes, well, Peter said. Im sure we all dimly remember what fourteen was like. He got up from the desk and wandered to the window, where out on the quad, a vigorous game of basketball was under way. After a moment, he turned to look at the assistant principal. Melissa is a bright, resourceful girl and I personally have a great deal of confidence in her.
Ray smirked. Well, good for you. I guess Ive just been around these kids a lot longer than you have.
Peter said nothing, and they moved on to other matters. Twenty minutes later, Ray stood as though to leave. Hands in pockets, he hesitated at the door.
So what dyou think of my sister-in-law, the hotshot foreign correspondent? Ms. Been-Everywhere-Done-Everything? His tone invited criticism, but when it wasnt forthcoming he smiled. Still, the kids seemed interested. She knows her job, Ill give her that.
Peter allowed the remark to drift into a vacuum of silence, broken after a while by the sound of Ray jingling change in his pockets. As he filed away a couple of folders, Peter recalled the assistant principals whispered remark after Edies speech, and decided that it was unlikely that the relationship had ended in the way Ray had described. What he found remarkable was that it had ever gotten off the ground in the first place. It would be interesting to know the real story, he thought, picturing Edie again. Ive had four students express an interest in a journalism career since her talk, he told Ray. In fact, Im turning over the idea of starting a campus newsletter
Wont work, Ray said. Waste of time and money, Im telling you right now.
Peter eyed the assistant principal. Pity it was so damn difficult to fire state employees, he mused.
GIRLS NIGHT OUT, Vivian said when she dropped by Maudes around six that evening. Pitchers of margaritas, waiters in tight black pants. Move it, Edie. Drag yourself off the couch. Youre turning into an old woman. Speaking of which
Shes upstairs resting. Edie pushed her glasses over the top of her nose and looked at Viv, all dressed up in snazzy designer jeans and a leather bomber jacket. Count me out, she said. Im exhausted. A bubble bath, a glass of wine and a book in bed strikes me as the perfect way to spend the evening. Old woman or not.
Oh, come on, Eed. How often do we see you? Come on, go upstairs and fix yourself up. Itll be fun. You might meet Mr. Right, fall in love and have half a dozen children in quick succession.
I hate to break it to you, but that scenario does nothing for me.
Get up. Viv pulled at her fingers. Make yourself pretty, and when youre done Ill tell you Peters latest crazy idea. Ray just got through ranting about it. Anyway, I want you to get together with Beth. We can all drink margaritas and reminisce about the days when we were all young and sexy. Theres going to be a whole bunch of us
As Vivian began to name names, Edie tried to think of a convincing reason not to go. She hated girlie gabfests, mostly because they invariably involved too much self-revelation, something she considered an unwise indulgence. What was the point of sitting around talking about your fears and insecurities? Shed never yet heard of anyones life changing as the result of one of these sessions. Mostly you drank too much, got maudlin, and then toddled on home to behave the same way you always had.
Anyway, shed spent too many years creating her self-protective coloring. If she started yammering about how she really felt inside, in no time others would see her that way too. Once at a conference, shed had drinks in a hotel bar with a colleague whom she had always seen as supremely confident but a little cool and aloof. After a third glass of wine, the woman had confessed to being scared to death much of the time; the cool exterior really masked a basic shyness. Edie never saw her the same way again and, she hated to admit, she had lost confidence in the womans decision-making skills.
But she dragged herself up off the couch, anyway.
Sue Ellen Barnes? Edie asked several hours later as she dipped a tortilla chip into a bowl of salsa and glanced from Viv to Beth. They were in Casa Julios, perched on stools pulled up to tall tables. Vivian had ordered a pitcher of strawberry margaritas that sat, nearly empty now, in the middle of the table. The others had left and it was just herself, Viv and Beth. Who did she marry? That guy with the red hair? What was his name?
John Yardley, Beth and Vivian shouted in unison.
Now shes Sue Ellen Barnes-Yardley. Edie giggled. Shed eaten nothing but bar snacks for hours, and the margaritas were making her feel slightly buzzed. What about Helen Anderson?
Shes on her second husband, I think, Beth said. And so is Frana Van Bergen.
You know who else just got married again? Elbows on the counter, Vivian looked at Edie. That really stuck-up girl who transferred from Ladue, Karen something-or-other.
They all shook their heads, baffled that snotty Karen could even snare one husband, let alone two. Earlier, the focus had been shoptalkproblem students, mostly. All the women except for herself and Viv worked at Luther; Edie had just tuned out. Every so often, a fragment of chatter from the dressed-for-success crowd had risen above the ambient noise, drifting over to where she sat. A hundred grand in five years, thats my goal. You gotta be focused. If youre not, theres someone right behind you who is. Nah, shes lost her edge.
Shed tuned back in to hear Beth, her face impassioned, say, But the whole goal of the program is to help the next generation of students get off to a healthy start.
Around the table, heads had nodded in agreement. difficult for anyone who isnt in this field to really appreciate how fantastic it is just knowing that youve truly made a difference in the course of a students life, one of the teachers had said with a glance at Edie. And then, You must be bored, huh? Bunch of teachers sitting around talking shop.
And then Vivian, apparently sensing a need to draw Edie more fully into the conversation, had said, Almost anything would seem boring compared to what Edie does. Shes the family success story. I married her reject and stayed home and had babies. Edie went off to live a glamorous life in New York.
And Edie had protested that it wasnt all that glamorous, but all the women had been looking at her and, she knew damn well, imagining a life that bore little resemblance to their own reality. Shed felt fraudulent, envious of these women who could talk so passionately about changing lives. Suddenly, feeling profoundly alone, shed excused herself and found the rest room. Two women had stood at a bank of mirrors, laughing and talking as they applied lipstick.
She had a glimpse of loose blond hair and red lips as shed slipped past them and into a cubicle. They were at least a decade younger and shed thought, I hate them. I hate them because the tarnish and weariness havent set in. They dont know yet that they wont always be beautiful; that they wont conquer the world, marry the man, have the babies. Make a difference. Shed draped the toilet seat with a paper cover and sat until she heard them leave. Stood then and leaned her forehead against the cool metal surface of the door. I need, shed thought. I need, I need, I need. But what?
Earth to Edie, Viv was saying now. Shes in a foxhole, she said with a wink at Beth. Shoulder to shoulder to a hunky marine.
Right, Edie said, rallying. And I havent showered for a week and neither has he. She drained the margarita, tasting the gritty strawberry seeds, the sweet, fruity ice. So, Beth, she said. How come you havent joined the married-with-children club?
Beth smiled sadly. I dont know, really. One minute it seemed as though I had all the time in the world, and I just knew Id have children and a husband, the whole thing. And then I woke up and I was forty and there was no one even on the horizon.
Vivian gave a small, conspiratorial smile and leaned slightly toward Beth. Except for Peter, she whispered.
Oh, Peter. Beths expression turned dreamy. Be still my heart. Today, he told me about his little girls dance recital. Delphina, the quiet one he always calls her. Ive met them all. Delphinas this solemn little thing with huge dark eyes. The twins, Kate and Abbie, are adorable blond angels, and Natalie is an absolute sweetheart. Shes the little mother.
Vivian arched an eyebrow at Edie. Kind of sounds like Beth might be more in love with the girls than she is with Peter, doesnt it?
I just love children, Beth said. And Peters so sweet when he talks about them. He came in this morning with this big stain on his shirt pocket where Natalie had put a sandwich. Some men would have been embarrassed to walk around all day like that. Hes the principal, after all. But Peters much more focused on the idea that his little girl made him lunch. Her face colored. I just think hes really a sweet, sweet man I just want good things to happen for him.
Youd be a good thing, Vivian said.
Beth smiled. Edie, if you havent noticed, your sister is trying to set me up with Peter. She thinks wed be perfect together. And your sister, in case you havent noticed that, either, happens to be very determined when she sets her mind to anything.
Viv hooted. Me, determined? You dont know determined until you know Edie. Once she makes her mind up on something, nothings going to change it.
A family trait, Edie said, thinking of Maude. So, are you interested in Peter? she asked Beth. Personally.
Of course she is, Viv said. How could she not be?
Edie looked at Beth, waiting for her to answer. With her nondescript brown hair pulled into a straggling ponytail, no makeup and an unflattering orange knit sweater, Beth looked like the before picture of a makeover candidate. Not without potential, but at the moment, clearly untapped.
An assessment Beth confirmed a moment later. I dont think Im exactly Peters type, she said. A few weeks ago I was in administration and this tall gorgeous woman came in. Everyone was looking at her. The security guards jaw just about dropped. She asked for Peter, and Betty Jean let her into his office. Apparently, shes this actress he was dating.
But hes not dating her now, Viv said. Ray heard Peter telling her not to bother him anymore.
Well, it doesnt matter, Beth said. Clearly, thats the type of woman hes interested in.
Beth. Elbows on the table, Viv looked at her friend. He needs a mother for those children. Betty Jean told Ray. Hes not looking to marry an actress. You just need to work at it, let him see youre interested.
But I dont know if I am, Beth said. I think I might feelinadequate.
No, no. Viv shook her head. You and Peter would be perfect together. Men are just sometimes slower to catch up. Although, she said with a little smile, sometimes you do get that gut feeling. I remember with Ray. Everyone said, Oh hes still in love with Edie, hes just marrying you on the rebound, but I knew.
Edie clasped her hands. A pain that had started at the top of her scalp was gathering strength. The thing is, she said. Its sometimes difficult to know what guys are thinking. You know how you can kind of read things into situations? See what you want to see? Edie really wanted to go home and stick her head under the covers. All Im saying is, Beth, a friend of mine told me years later that she really wished someone had told her right from the start that this guy was never in love with her. It was just a difficult call, though.
Excuse me, Beth said as she hurried from the room.
What the hell is with you? Vivian glared at Edie. Beth has been glowing all evening and its like you just poured a bucket of cold water over her. Why dont you keep your damn cynical opinions to yourself and quit spoiling things for everyone else?
I honestly didnt mean to rain on her parade, Edie said. I was just telling her
Next time, try telling yourself to butt out, Viv snapped.
Edie returned home to find a message from Maude scrawled on a note under the phone.
Gone to bed. A man called I told him he had the wrong number but he kept calling back and asking for Fred so I wrote down his number just to get some peace and quiet you better call him we need more toilet paper and dont get that thin stuff again my fingers go right through it. Love Mom.
CHAPTER FOUR
WITH A SMILE, Edie folded the note and put it in her pocket. The infrequent letters Maude sent her were written the same way; long, garbled, stream-of-consciousness missives without a hint of punctuation. She dialed the number she knew by heart and reached a colleague and friend shed known since their days in the Times London bureau. A grizzled bearlike man approaching retirement, Fred Mazare had probably reported from every country in the world during his forty-odd years in journalism. A gold mine of information on anything from overseas press clubshe knew them allto public transport in Bangkokhe recommended tuk tuksFred was mentor, father figure, confidant and friend all rolled into one untidy, overweight, cigar-smoking curmudgeon. He picked up the phone on the first ring.
Where the hell have you been? he demanded, And who was that old bat who answered the phone?
Out with the girls, she said, grinning because it felt so damn good to hear his voice. And watch how you talk about my mother.
Howre things going?
Oh She rubbed her eyes. Im home. Does that tell you anything?
Yep. It tells me youre about as out of place as a nun in a brothel.
She laughed. Hmm, Ill have to think about that one. Her back against the wall, the phone cord wrapped around her wrist, she slid down to the floor. Why do I feel soweird whenever I come home, Fred?
One, you dont belong there anymore. Two, youre trying to convince yourself into believing that you do.
I am?
Sure you are. Probably hooked up with an old boyfriend and hes trying to talk you into settling down
Wrong.
Okay. Your biological clocks ticking.
She groaned. Oh please, if you cant come up with something more original
Okay, Edie. Tell Uncle Freddy the problem as you see it.
I justhave this empty feeling inside.
You going soft on me?
No. She swiped the back of her hand across her nose. Maybe Ive had my fill of moving around. Maybe I need to settle, put down some roots. She swallowed. Maybe youre not really so far off the mark about the biological clock.
Highly possible, he agreed.
But Id hate to settle down in a place like Little Hills. She thought of Viv and her off-white leather couches and her endless chattering about Ray and the boys. She thought of Peter with his little girls. Beth all shiny-eyed as shed called them angels. I have nothing in common with these people.
My guess is that you would if you decided Little Hills is what youre looking for, he said. Ready for some news about Ben?
She leaned her head back against the wall, closed her eyes. Yeah.
State Departments arranged for his release. Could be any day now.
She breathed a sigh. Thank God.
I spoke to his wife.
Ex-wife.
Tell her that.
He told me that.
Fred laughed. Ever strike you funny how people can be so cynical and hardheaded about things they want to believe and so damn gullible and stupid about other things?
Not so much funny as pitiful, she said. Youre not breaking up my marriage, Edie, Ben had told her. It was broken long, long before I met you.
Hey, Edie. Fred was saying, Cut out the whiny broad stuff.
Im not whining.
Youre feeling sorry for yourself.
Bull. Tears burned her nose. Im fine. Terrific.
Youve always had Bens number
I said Im fine.
Yeah welllisten, heres something thatll put a smile on your face. I heard your name mentioned the other day. How does Edie Robinson, Asia bureau chief, strike you?
ASIA? Wow, Edie, how exciting, Vivian enthused the next morning when Edie told her about the bureau chief job. You know what, though? I dont envy you one bit. I tell you, when Ray and I got back from New York after our tenth anniversary, I was never so glad to be home.
Yeah, I can imagine. Edie stuck the phone between her ear and shoulder and, as Viv rattled on, searched the refrigerator shelves for breakfast material. Another trip to the IGA seemed likely. She wanted to get off the phone with Viv, who was seriously beginning to get on her nerves. Irritation, like a small yappy dog kept on a tight rein ever since shed hauled her bags into the back of Vivians gleaming new SUV, was tugging hard at the leash. She bit experimentally into a withered apple, decided it was too far gone and dumped it into the trash.
Maude, upstairs clomping around, would be down any minute and they were out of coffee creamer, which would inevitably get the day off to a shaky start. I dont want to be here, Edie thought. I dont want to hear my mother tell me she needs prunes and I dont want to listen to my sister bitching to me about her hot flashes and her gourmet club. I am cold, unlovable and I vant to be alone.
I know Little Hills seems boring to you, Viv was saying now. But as far as were concerned, there isnt a better place to raise kids. And that sort of thing matters to me and Ray, she said. Were very serious about our kids.
I know you are, Viv. Edie stuck her head in the fridge. The gas oven was also an option. Why didnt the prospect of a bureau chief job strike her with quite the sense of elation shed thought it might? Shed stayed awake half the night trying to figure that one out. That and Bens releasewhich shed never had any doubt aboutand the three years shed wasted with him. Dont expect commitment from me, hed always say. Something shed have understood much more readily had he also mentioned a wife back in the States.
Her mood didnt improve much that day and it wasnt much better the next, when someone from Maple Grove Residential Living called to inquire whether Maude was still interested in having her name added to the waiting list for residential apartments.
Edie, pacing the hallway with the black receiver lodged between her ear and shoulder, moved too far in one direction and the phone clattered to the floor, knocking over the spindly table it had been standing on. Damn it.
Excuse me?
Nothing. Edie stood the table up again and replaced the heavy black phone on its crocheted doily. I was talking to the phone.
Of course. The administrator cleared her throat. When your sister and mother paid us a visit recently, they were both very impressed. Your sister did say that there were other places they wanted to investigate, but we were under the impression that they were definitely leaning toward Maple Grove.
Literally or figuratively? Edie wanted to ask. I dont think my mothers made a decision yet, Edie said. In fact, Im sure she hasnt, but let me check with my sister.
That would be Vivian Jenkins? the administrator asked.
That would be, Edie said, irked by the womans officious tone. In the mood she was in, Mother Teresa would have irked her.
I was under the impression, from Mrs. Jenkins, that the decision had been made. Mrs. Jenkins is concerned that your mother is no longer capable of living alone. Your mother was so taken with Maple Grove, she wanted to move in on the spot.
Well, that may be, Edie said. As I said, Ill check with my sister.
We have very few vacancies, the woman said. In fact, thats why we were forced to create a waiting list. I would hate to see your mother lose out. She was so impressed
Ill call you, Edie said and slowly replaced the receiver in its cradle. Tinkerbell, the most persistent of Maudes three cats, watched her balefully, his eyes the color of grapes. I hate salespeople, she told him. Actually, this morning, I hate everyone.
The cat mewed and moved to snake its long orange body along Edies bare calf.
That will get you nowhere, trust me. On tiptoe, Edie reached for a jar of Ovaltine, thinking for a minute it might be coffee. Maude appeared to be out of coffee, which wasnt helping matters. She took down the jar, unscrewed the lid and peered inside at the dried-up cake of brown powder. Yuk.
Meow. The cat rubbed its ear against Edies leg.
Edie nudged it gently with her toe. Look, if you want to get into my good books, run down to the corner and get me a double latte, okay? Maybe a bagel, too.
Still musing on the phone call, a niggling sense that shed somehow been shut out of an important decision prompted her to dial her sisters number. As usual, Vivian sounded harried.
Im trying to do a million things, she said, and the phone keeps ringing off the hook. Brad spilled root beer all over the family-room carpet and Ive got someone coming in to clean it. Rays in a permanent funk. By the way, Im sorry I jumped at you the other night about Beth. You know I didnt mean it, right? I swear when Im on a carb diet, I get the worse sugar withdrawal and
Viv, some woman called from Maple Grove
Oh right. A pause. I meant to tell you about that Look, if the carpet cleaners dont take too long, how about I drop by right after and well talk. Where is Mom, by the way?
A woman from church dropped by to pick her up. They were going to a potluck, or something. Mom was up before me this morning, making macaroni and cheese.
Damn. Vivian exhaled loudly. Dixie Mueller, right? Little tiny thing with white hair? Well, theyre all little tiny things with white hair, but Dixiesfirst of all she shouldnt be driving, so every time she takes Mom out, I have to worry about whether theyll get into an accident. And then Mom goes to these potlucks and eats too much and ends up calling me in the middle of the night convinced shes having a heart attack
Edie held the phone away from her ear as Vivian railed. I am completely out of my element, she thought. This is my mother, but I have no idea whats really in her best interests. Im sorry, she said after Vivian finally wound down. Mom seemed really jazzed to be going out and I didnt know about
Its not your fault, Edie. Dont blame yourself. Its just that Im with Mom and youre not. And thats why she needs to be in a place like Maple Grove. She cant look after herself and Im honestly worn out with looking after her.
But there are other options besides a residential facility, Edie said. She could have someone come in to help her. A live-in assistant, maybe. That way she could stay in the house
Vivian laughed. Edie, Edie. You have no idea, do you? Live-in assistants cost money
So do residential facilities, she pointed out. I might not be with Mom on a day-to-day basis, but Im not entirely out of touch with the real world.
I didnt mean to suggest that you were, Viv said. Its just thatwell, I hate to keep saying the same thing over and over, but Im here, Edie, and youre not.
A theme that was beginning to sound so familiar, Edie thought, she could almost predict the moment Vivian would say it. Almost as predictable as Vivians breathless complaints that she had a million things to do and really didnt have time to talk about this right now.
And Im going out of my mind, Viv was saying now. Do you have any idea at all how much food two teenage boys can consume?
Of course I dont, Edie said. I dont have children.
A moment of silence from the other end of the line. Are you being sarcastic? Vivian wanted to know. Because if you are
I was just stating a fact, Edie said. You have kids and I dont.
I know, but you get that snippy tone in your voice Anyway, I really dont have time to argue. I dont want to argue, lets put it that way. I dont see you often enough to spend time when you are here bickering with you.
Having established the moral high ground, Viv then went on to complain about the paintwork in her newly finished upstairs bathroom, her neighbors obnoxious dog who barked half the night and the ridiculous price of the boneless pork roast shed bought for tomorrows dinner with some friends who probably wouldnt be impressed, anyway.
As she listened, Edie wondered whether it would seem insufferably self-righteous if she attempted to lend some perspective to her sisters problems by describing the young girl shed seen in Sarajevoall dressed up in high heels and full makeup as she picked her way through the rubble from a recent mortar attack because, war or no war, life goes on. Or the women who sent their children to school during shell fire with the reassurances that they were probably safer at school than at home. Yeah, it would be insufferable, she decided, not to mention hypocritical. Youve never dwelled endlessly on your own petty problems?
By the way, Viv said, I really am sorry for jumping on you lately. You must think Im a total bitch. When Im on a low-carb diet, I swear I get sugar withdrawal. Anyway, look, bottom line is we both have Moms best interests at heart.
Exactly, Edie agreed, Which
Im sure it isnt easy for you to be back here, feeling that youre doing everything wrong, but face it, Eed, thats reality. You made your choice to go off and leadyour kind of life.
But
And I have no problem at all with looking after Mom. I mean, I told Ray, I said I dont even know why Edies coming back, as busy as she isbut look, sweetie, I know youre concerned. Tell you what, how about we take Mom out to Maple Grove tomorrow and you can see the place for yourself?
Meanwhile, Edie decided as she hung up the phone, she would have a little talk with Maude when she got back from her visit with Dixiejust the two of them. She might never know or understand Maude the way Viv did, but she could at least try to get to know her a little better.
Tomorrow, she would take Maude to lunch.
PETERS PHONE RANG during the middle of a parent conference. Since hed told Betty Jean to hold all calls other than emergencies, his first thought as he excused himself to pick up the receiver was that it was one of the girls. Your sister, Betty Jean said. She insisted that I put her through immediately.
Peter exhaled. Yes, Sophia?
Im calling for a progress report.
He frowned. On what?
The wife search. What else?
Oh, that, Peter said, irritated. Do you honestly think that I have nothing else Listen, Im in a meeting
I just thought you might have given it a little thought.
I have, Peter said without thinking first.
And?
Well talk about it later.
A teacher?
No.
What then?
A foreign correspondent.
A foreign Oh, Peter, thats ridiculous. Theyre gone all the time. You read about their lifestyles. How can that possibly work?
Not quite sure. Especially since shes now declined two invitations, he thought as he hung up on Sophia.
Anyway, as I was saying, Mrs. BlackPatricias academic progress would be enhanced considerably if she attended school more than two days a week. Lets talk a little about what we can do to ensure she gets up in time to catch the school bus in the mornings. An alarm clock would be an obvious first step
Sophias second call came just as he was leaving his office to head across campus. Please forget about the foreign correspondent, she said. It would be an enormous mistake. As soon as the girls begin to trust her, shell be whisked off to Timbuktu, or somewhere, only to be shot at and God knows what else. Please tell me you werent serious.
EDIE HAD ENVISIONED somewhere a little more celebratory for her getting-reacquainted lunch with Maude, but her mother had insisted on Mrs. Browns Burger Bar: pumpkin-colored vinyl booths and anthropomorphic dancing pies painted on the windows. Maude liked Mrs. Browns early-bird dinners. Edie glanced at the menu. A little insert offered a free slice of apple, chocolate or cherry pie with any order over six dollars.
I dont want anything spicy, Maude was saying. What are you having?
Salad. Edie set the menu down and looked at Maude. So far today things had gone quite smoothly. She hadnt slapped her forehead in exasperation, or sworn or wanted to shake Maude silly. I am becoming a better person, she decided. If not a paragon of saintly virtue, more patient and understanding. Compassionate, even. Earlier, as they had been getting into the car, shed taken a second look at her mothers headgear and refrained from asking why Maude had chosen to go out wearing a tea cozy.
And last night, after her mother returned from the visit with Dixie Mueller, Edie had listened with a degree of patience she had no idea she possessed to Maude explain that she only ate eggs on Tuesdays except if it rained and then sometimes shed have a banana, not because she was hungry, mind you, but because of the potassium, but if you stopped to think about it, shed lived this long so if she wanted to eat eggs on Wednesdays, too, how could it hurt?
This was nice, Edie, Maude had said when just before midnight shed announced she was ready for bed. Its been a long time since weve had a talk like this. And actually, Edie thought as shed drifted off to sleep, it had been kind of nice. Not exactly the heart-to-heart, mother-daughter chat shed once dreamed about, but peculiarly contenting, anyway. Of course, shed had a couple of glasses of wine.
What can I get you ladies? The waiter, a tall gawky kid who appeared to be about twelve, thirteen max, looked from Edie to Maude, then reeled off a list of specials.
I didnt get that, Maude told him. Can you read them again?
Mom, what difference does it make? Edie asked. Vivian had already warned her that Maude, when dining out, would eat nothing but fish and chips. Youre going to have fish and chips, anyway.
Wheres the chicken potpie? Maude had picked up the menu again. How much is it?
We dont have chicken potpie, the kid said.
Chicken potpie, Maude said. And a cup of coffee.
They dont have chicken potpie, Edie told Maude. Why dont you just have fish and chips like you always do?
Maude eyed Edie, a tad suspiciously. What are you having?
Edie felt her hand move almost involuntarily to her head. She restrained it. Im having salad, Mom. I already told you.
Maude screwed up her face as if shed just learned that her daughter was going to dine on stewed yak. Salad?
Salad.
I dont want salad. Ill have chicken potpie.
Edie slapped her head. Mom! Look at me. They dont have chicken potpie.
Dont shout at me. Maude raised her eyes to the waiter. See how my daughter talks to me?
Want me to come back in a few minutes? he said.
No, Edie said. Shell have fish and chips.
I dont know though. Maude was browsing the menu again. The last time I had chicken potpie here it had bits of green pepper in it. I think Ill just have the fish and chips. Edie, that man across the street keeps looking at you.
Edie looked beyond the dancing pies to see Peter Darling leaving the hardware shop, smiling broadly. She realized with irritation, now back and in plentiful supply, that her hair was lank and unwashed, she had on no makeup and that she was wearing tatty elephant-colored sweats. She drank some water and slouched down in the booth as Peter approached. The life of the foreign correspondent wasnt always glamorous and exotic.
CHAPTER FIVE
AS HE APPROACHED the booth where Edie sat opposite an elderly woman in a natty white knitted hat, Peter acknowledged, reluctantly, that Edie did not appear overjoyed to see him. By contrast, her companion was all smiles as she patted the booth beside her.
Didnt recognize you from across the road, she said. Youre that assistant principal at my son-in-laws school. Saw you when my other daughter took me there so she could drop off Rays lunch. Hes on a low-sodium diet. You met Edie? Shes a foreign correspondent, got shot at last year. Im having the fish and chips. Edies having the chicken potpie.
Mmm. He met Edies eyes across the table. As he remembered, they were amber, only slightly lighter than her hair. I wasnt really hungry, but I quite like chicken potpie.
They dont have chicken potpie. Edie looked as if she might have a headache. Im having a salad.
If you dont mind the green peppers, the chicken potpie is good, Maude said.
I think Im going to sit here and go quietly insane, Edie said. Hi, Peter. This is my mother, Maude Robinson, in case you werent previously introduced. Mom she leaned across the table to Maude you remember Peter Darling? She looked at Peter again. School day over already?
No, he said. I just came for the chicken potpie.
Dont do this, she said.
You ever seen Edith slap her head? Maude asked. Thats what she did just before you got here. I said I wanted fish and chips and she slaps her head. She shouted at me, too.
I should be locked away, Edie said. What are you doing here?
I placed two students at the hardware shop across the street, he said. Its a great arrangement. The school district partially subsidizes the shop owner. He gets a couple of assistants and the students get some real work experience while earning credits toward graduation.
She eyed him for a moment. That must be gratifying.
He looked straight back at her. It is. Very.
I meant it sincerely, she said. I wasnt being facetious.
I didnt suspect for a moment that you were, he lied. Edie disquieted him. It was nothing overt; an enigmatic smile, the faint whiff of cynicism about her. He imagined that she saw him as painfully earnest, which he supposed he was. Well, earnestnot painfully, he hoped. Perhaps he should cultivate a new persona. Cavalier and brutish. Take that insolent smirk off your face, wench, and get thee to the bedchamber.
My daughters both think Im a senile old woman who doesnt have a clue in the world whats going on right in front of her eyes, Maude said. Theyre trying to put me in a home.
Edie set down her water glass. The air went still. Peter tried to think of something to say. At his side, the old woman was sipping water, seemingly unaware that shed just sparked a match to the conversational tinderbox.
Edith hasnt been back here for donkeys years, the elderly woman said. Too busy with her high-powered job. Now she decides its time for poor old mom to be put away, so she comes out here to drag me around to these fancy high-priced places that are nothing more than storage rooms where you sit around and wait to die.
Are you living in your own home at the moment? Peter asked, trying only to defuse the tension. He didnt look at Edie, but he could feel her presence, glowering across the table. Beside him, Maude fiddled with her ear.
Sorry. Its not that Im deaf. I only wear my hearing aid when theres something I want to hear. Do I rent? No, I own my home. My husband and I bought it when our oldest daughter, Vivian, was born. Both the girls were raised in that house and now theyre trying to make me move out
Mom, thats absolutely not true, Edie said. Thats what weve been talking about. Thats why Im back. Viv said you want to move
I didnt until she started showing me all these fancy brochures and then you come back and She looked at Peter. Now theyre both on at me. I never said stick me in a warehouse though, did I? She glared at Edie. I didnt say come out here and turn my life upside down
Ah, food, Edie announced as the kid waiter approached. Too bad Im suddenly not hungry.
HALF AN HOUR, still shaking with anger, Edie helped Maude back into the car. As she walked around to the drivers side, Peter caught her arm. Hed gamely sat through the meal, engaging Maude in small talk about roses and gardening and preventing an incendiary situation from erupting into a wildfire. As they were leaving the restaurant, Maude had invited him and his daughters to dinner. Edie had been too furious to even listen for his reply. She looked at him for a moment, not trusting herself to speak.
So. She forced a bright smile. Here you have the real truth. Heartless daughters evict poor old motherno, daughter. Singular. As Maude would have told you if youd waited a little longer, Viv would never be so cruel. But then Viv didnt kill her father. Funny how Moms never quite forgiven me for that. She stopped, appalled at what shed just said. She could see confusion in Peters face and something else, something tender and soft that made her want to run. Sorry for that little outburst, she said. Could we please rewind the tape?
Consider it done. His hand was on the top of the car now. He hadnt taken his eyes from her face. It would be an understatement to say youve got a tricky situation, and I dont want to interfere in a family matter. But, if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.
Thanks.
I mean that. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a card and scribbled something on the back. Thats my number at home. He handed the card to Edie. Youre likely to get one of my daughters, and if its Delphina, shell want very much to read you a poem. Shes quite talented. Of course, shell be too shy to tell you thatbut with a little coaching, you can draw her out.
Thank you, she said again. She would never call, she knew that, but it was a sweet gesture. I appreciate it.
I mean it sincerely. The offer. Im a very good listener. I also used to have an elderly mother
She smiled.
I dont know why Ray doesnt like him, Maude said as they drove away. Seems very nice to me. Course, you can never tell.
PETER HAD FELT some misgivings as he watched Edie drive away with Maude in the car. Perhaps he should have done more to calm her down. He could imagine the headlines in tomorrows Little Hills Union. Noted Foreign Correspondent Throttles Elderly Mother. Hed felt the tension radiating off her.
He stood in the quad now, almost an hour later, watching a troupe of young actors, all dressed in black, perform for the assembled students. Perhaps he would ring her this evening, just to make sure everything was all right. He remembered that hed meant to tell her how inspired the students had been by her talk. Shed like to hear that, he was sure.
Sophia might be right about the unsuitability of a foreign correspondent as a wife, but it would be very agreeable to get to know Edie as a friend. That said, how could it hurt to call? He did wonder, though, at the remark about killing her father. What was that all about? Bit of melodrama, maybe. One would hope.
On a stage across the quad, an antidrug message was being conveyed through mime, dance and ear-splittingly loud rap. His temples throbbing, he snaked a hand down over the shoulder of a boy in the back row and plucked a bag of sunflower seeds, forbidden on campus because of the mess they created, from the surprised boys grasp. He wondered if, at forty-one, he was too old for this sort of thing.
And then Beth Herman tapped him on the arm. He shot her a quick sideways glance and did a double take. Normally, he didnt pay a great deal of attention to womens clothesa shortcoming of which Amelia had frequently complainedbut Beths blouse was really quite extraordinary, patterned with brilliant butterflies that danced over her entire upper body. Another surreptitious glance revealed small black script identifying the various species. By then, mercifully, the music had stopped and he turned to take an even closer look, realizing as he did so that he was ogling her left breast.
Sorry, he said, although Beth did not seem at all offended. Very nice blouse. The students were now ambling off to their classrooms and Beth was smiling and it seemed necessary somehow to say something else. Would you like to be a mother to my children? seemed a bit peremptory. Very nice cupcakes, too, he said instead.
Cupcakes?
The cakes you brought in this morning with the little silver balls. Quite delicious.
Oh, she said. They werent mine. One of my aides brought them in. Ill thank her on your behalf, she said. Actually though, I do love to cook.
And Im sure you do it very well, he said, trying to imagine Amelias response if he were to suggest she bake cakes. Probably about the same as if he were to suggest they marry and raise a dozen children together. Edie would react similarly, he suspected. But he must stop thinking about unsuitable women. Which reminded him of Edie againor, rather, her mother. I have a proposal, he said.
A proposal? Beths face reddened and the pile of papers shed been carrying like a baby slipped from her arms and fell to the ground. Sorry.
Peter joined Beth on the grass to help retrieve some papers that had been scattered by a sudden breeze. For a moment or so they were both on their hands and knees, and he glanced up to find Beths nose inches from his own.
A proposal? she said again.
A proposal. Peter held out his hand to help her up. You seem a littleflustered.
Flustered? She raked her brown curls. Oh no, no. Im fine. I mean, this is the way I always am. Sorry. Um, what can I do for you? She laughed. Sorry, that didnt come out right
Beth, youve just apologized for the third time in as many minutes, Peter said. Stop it. Youre making me feel like an ogre.
An ogre? Oh no, Im sorry I
Peter shook his head. Shed caught her lapse and was looking at him with such dismay that he couldnt help laughing. Im sorry He grinned. God, youve got me doing it. Look, all I wanted to suggest
Would you like some tea? I could make some if youd like to walk back to the center. Peppermint? Apple? Chamomile?
Oh no, thank you. He loathed tea, particularly the herbal variety, but people were always offering him cups of it. About my proposal, though. You do know Edie Robinson? I met her mother today and I rather had the sense that time hangs heavy on occasion and she becomes depressed. I know youre always short of volunteers and
Perfect. Beth beamed. The girls would love having a surrogate grandmother to help with the babies, and if Mrs. Robinson is anything like my mother, theres nothing shed enjoy more than being surrounded by babies and young people.
Good. Ill ring Edie today, he said, quick to grasp at any excuse. Perhaps he could determine whether there really was a safari-suited boyfriend, or if that was just a polite excuse, in which case He realized that Beth was watching him as though she had something more to say. He smiled and she glanced down at her feet, then up at him.
.
.
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Janice Macdonald
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Home sweet home!Award-winning journalist Edie Robinson has come home to help out. But she′s back for only a month. Much as she loves her family, that′s all she can take of small-town life and her elderly mother′s constant complaints: «Why can′t you be like your married sister? Why did you buy the single-ply toilet paper? When are you going to settle down? No wonder you′re forty and still don′t have a husband.»When Edie meets the new school principal, Peter Darling, she′s determined to fight the instant attraction she feels. After all, her stay in Little Hills, Missouri, is only temporary, while Peter and his four young daughters are happy with their new home.But love has a way of changing perspectives. Now Edie′s beginning to see her home, her family–and her future–through new eyes.