The Boss′s Baby Bargain
The Boss's Baby Bargain
Karen Sandler
AN IRRESISTIBLE PROPOSALAllie Dickenson couldn't believe she was marrying her brooding boss, Lucas Taylor, the man she'd been fantasizing about for the past year. But when he proposed a temporary union in exchange for helping her with her ailing father, she couldn't say no.A FAMILY TO CALL HIS OWNLucas desperately wanted a child, and marrying his loyal secretary would get his foot in the adoption agency's door. Although the jaded millionaire swore no woman could melt his steely defenses, he found himself powerfully drawn to his beautiful brideand their sizzling night of passion resulted in a baby on the way! Could Lucas finally overcome his tormented pastor did he risk losing the love he'd always longed for?
Lucas, Ive had a change of heart. I cant marry you after all.
The facts havent changed, Allie. I still need a wife so that I can adopt a child, and you still need money.
I intend to explore other avenues for the loan. What those would be she had no idea. Im sorry I cant help you with yoursituation, but marriage is out of the question.
Resting his arms on his desk, he leaned toward her. Why?
Why? she asked herself. Why couldnt she marry him? Last night at two a.m., her bedsheets tangled around her legs from her restlessness, shed had the answers. Now it seemed none of them would hold up to his scrutiny.
Because we hardly know one another. She groped for the words. Because marriage Because marriage is far too intimate a relationship. Because it would force a false closeness on us neither one wants.
Because you kissed me.
The Bosss Baby Bargain
Karen Sandler
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
This ones for the Barbaras: Barbara McMahon, my mentor and good friend; Barbara Stier, my stepmom and biggest fan; and Barbara Williams, my mom, who no doubt keeps them hopping up in heaven.
And special thanks to Jo Cain-Stiles for helping me understand Lucas.
KAREN SANDLER
first caught the writing bug at age nine when, as a horse-crazy fourth grader, she wrote a poem about a pony named Tony. Many years of hard work later, she sold her first book (and she got that ponyalthough his name is Ben). She enjoys writing novels, short stories and screenplays and recently produced her first short film. She lives in Northern California with her husband of twenty years and two teenage boys who are busy eating her out of house and home.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Epilogue
Chapter One
Allie Dickenson paused at Lucas Taylors office door, gulping in a breath and smoothing her hair with nervous hands.
She knocked twice, waiting for his impatient, Come in! before slipping inside and shutting the door. He sat behind his desk, his dark head bent to his work, his complete focus on the papers in his hands. Breath held, spine straight, she moved to stand before him, her stomach a mass of knots.
Lucas, I need to talk to you.
He took another moment to finish scribbling a note, then looked up at her, his gray eyes narrowing. Behind him, the morning sun streaming through the window backlit his large frame, casting his face into shadow. Talk to me? About what?
She slid her hands into the side pockets of her full skirt, her fingers clenching into fists. Somethingsomewhatpersonal.
He just stared, still as a tiger stalking prey. She wished hed look awayback to the papers cluttering his desk, out the floor-to-ceiling window that formed the back wall of his office. But of course he didnt, and Allie had no choice but to meet his hard gaze.
Personal? He raised one brow. As in unrelated to your job?
Yes The word came out as a near whisper. She swallowed, took another long breath. and no.
As he fixed his gaze on her, the deep well of wishful thinking inside her imagined something in his eyes, something that set her heart to beating faster. Then his mouth tightened with annoyance. Im busy, Allie. Can you get to the point?
The knots in Allies stomach froze into a sickening weight. She forced herself to loosen her fingers, ordered her shoulders to relax. Forming the words in her mind, she imagined them marching off her tongue. I need to borrow twenty thousand dollars. But they wouldnt quite come. This is hard for me to say.
He waited for her to continue, fingers drumming. Then he picked up a pen, stroked its length with his fingertips. Forbidden thoughts arose in her mind as she followed his unconscious gesture. The brief panoply of images that emerged before she could banish them reminded her of all the reasons asking Lucas for a loan was a bad idea, no matter how desperate she was.
Is this about your last raise? he prodded. You dont think Im paying you enough?
She shook her head. No, no, its not that.
If anything, he overpaid. Since shed joined TaylorMade Foods two years ago, shed worked hard and had taken on increasing responsibility. But her last employee review had overwhelmed her with its glowing accolades. And the amount of her raise left her gasping. Once the problems with her father had started, though, she was glad for every penny.
Im probably the best paid administrative assistant in Sacramento County. She mustered a smile and his gaze sharpened on her in a way that sent heat curling inside her. In spite of herself, she looked away briefly, then back at him. But Ive had some problems recently.
Her hands had scrunched back into fists and she pressed them against her thighs. Despite the fullness of her muted floral-print skirt, he detected the motion, his gaze flicking down to her hips, then dragging back up to her face. There was a message in his gray eyes, in the sharp line of his jaw, one that reached inside her, teased her to translate it That he was her superior, that he was fourteen years older than her twenty-six years, shrank to insignificance in the face of that enticing lure.
A stunning thought flashed into her mind. Maybe these ridiculous feelings werent one-sided. Maybe Lucas felt the same way. Maybe
When he spoke, it took her a moment to understand the quiet words. Allie, are you in trouble?
She flushed, all at once mortified and relieved. Thank God he couldnt read her mind. No, she assured him. It isnt that at all. Its just
His phone jangled on his desk, forwarded from her own phone when she hadnt been there to answer it. She took a step toward his desk, reflexively reaching for the receiver.
Lucas put up a hand to stop her. Ill get it. He punched the lighted button on the phone console and lifted the receiver. Lucas Taylor.
He listened a moment, then glanced up at her. Ill have to get back to you, John. Give me two minutes. Hanging up the phone, he said to Allie, Can we finish our conversation later?
Even as she felt relief at the reprieve, she worried that waiting would only make the words harder to say. She nodded. Let me know when you have time.
You know my schedule better than I do. When do I have time?
She squelched her irritation at his abrupt tone. She thought shed learned not to react to his arrogance. It must be her unease about their conversation that had her off-balance. You have an hour after lunch.
Come back then. His gaze lowered to his papers. When she didnt turn immediately, he looked up again. Anything else?
She shook her head. No, nothing. She quickly turned on her heel and let herself out of his office, shutting the door behind her.
Crossing to her desk with two long strides, she sank into her chair. Her hands covering her face, she wondered which was the biggest messher fathers crisis or the impossible situation with her boss.
What had started as a dimly remembered erotic dream had quickly flowered into a series of daytime fantasies that she couldnt seem to stop. Shed allowed herself the indulgence at first because the fantasies distracted her from her loneliness, never mind the inappropriateness of the central figure. But her daydreams had recently taken on a life of their own, until the sexual images had drifted into decidedly unwanted emotions. Feelings for a man she truly didnt know.
She dropped her hands from her face and glanced back at the door to Lucass office. Considering the craziness of her feelings for him, shed nearly talked herself out of asking him for the loan. But where else could she go? She didnt have an asset to her name worth borrowing against. Her brother and sister were both struggling to support their own families. If they knew their fathers money was all gone, they would help her in a heartbeat. But they didnt know, and she planned to keep it that way.
Agitated, she tugged open her bottom desk drawer and pulled out a plastic bag of bread scraps. She needed to get out of the office, needed a break from the emotions churning inside her. Some time outside would give her a chance to regain a bit of calm.
Setting her phone to ring through to Lucass office, she hurried to the elevators and escape.
Lucas stared down at his telephone, his finger hovering above the keypad. The urgency of his business with his attorney, John Evans, had faded into the background the moment Allie had appeared in his office. What had once been an obsession had been bumped to second place just by her presence. Hell, he had completely forgotten hed asked John to call him this morning.
All because of Allie. Allie, who had become invaluable to him in the last two years. Allie, who had single-handedly brought order to his hectic schedule and the extensive travel his work demanded.
Allie, who in the last several months had intruded on nearly every waking thought, weaving her way into his every sensual fantasy.
He knew it wasnt right. He knew he was one inadvertent touch away from sexual harassment. Yet sometimes it was all he could do to keep himself from reaching out to test the softness of her hair, the smoothness of her cheek.
Shoving back his chair, he rose to his feet and turned to gaze out the window. Five stories below, the campus of TaylorMade Foods stretched out before him. Despite the late-summer heat of the Sacramento Valley, the rolling hills between the buildings of TaylorMades headquarters glowed a verdant green. Trees dotted the landscapevalley oak and scrub pine. At the center of the three five-story structures, like the hub of a three-spoke wheel, a pond glimmered in the midmorning sunlight.
The king of all I survey, Lucas thought darkly.
As he watched, a solitary swan skimmed across the surface of the pond. It was all histhe pond, the swan and its mate hiding somewhere in the reeds, the buildings of wood and stone and glass, the TaylorMade corporation. Hed worked hard for all of it, yet the sight of all that neatly landscaped beauty filled him with an edgy dissatisfaction.
Feeling a heaviness inside him, he turned back to the phone and stabbed out his attorneys number. When John answered, Lucas didnt waste time with preliminaries. Sorry. What did you find out?
John had known him too long to be put off by his brusqueness. The county adoption agency said no way. They wont even look at your application.
Hed expected as much, but still the news twisted his insides. He fixed his gaze on the swan below, watching its passage. He wished he had a tenth of the serenity of the graceful white bird. What about private adoption agencies?
His attorney let out a sigh before he answered. Itll be the same story there.
As the swans mate emerged from the thick cluster of reeds at the ponds edge, Lucas caught sight of someone striding across the lawn toward the water. Allie. Are you telling me its impossible?
I told you at the outset this wouldnt be easy. The agencies give top priority to married couples.
As if she were right beside him instead of a hundred yards away on the lawn below, Lucas felt heat spreading in his loins. With an effort, he returned his attention to the conversation with his attorney. I doubt many parents could give a child what I can.
John hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully. Materially, no.
Lucas heard the unspoken message, the one the usually straightforward John had danced around since Lucas had first announced his intention to adopt. With his wealth, Lucas could give a child anything he or she might desire. As for what the child might need
He watched Allie reach into the plastic bag shed brought with her and toss something out onto the pond toward the swans. The grace of her every movement drew him, set off an ache inside. What about that attorney friend of yours?
The teenage girl he represents already found placement for her baby with a young couple.
The swans approached the grassy shore in tandem, gobbling up the treats as they swam. Allie reached precariously out over the water to drop more bread scraps for the birds, then straightened to empty the last of the bag. Lucas took too much damn pleasure in watching her movements, as lithe as the swans she fed.
He turned resolutely away from the window. You said he came in contact with a number of unwed teenage mothers.
He does, John said slowly. Look, I know Ive mentioned this before and youve dismissed it outright
No, Lucas said, knowing where John was leading.
He continued doggedly, but you really ought to consider a more conventional
No.
Just because your marriage with Carol didnt work out
No. I wont marry.
There was a long silence as John seemed to digest his flat refusal. Then forget about adopting. Youre forty years old
Is it a matter of money? He couldnt help himself; he turned back to the window. But Allie had gone, no doubt back into the building. The swans drifted together across the pond. If greasing the wheels would speed the process
There arent any wheels to grease. Hell, you cant buy a child.
Self-recrimination settled inside him, sharp and bitter. This was exactly what he had feared. That despite good intentions, what was most crucial for a child was beyond his capacity to provide. John, Ive got to go. Get back to that attorney friend and get another referral.
If youll think about my suggestion.
He wouldnt, but no point in telling John that. Call me later in the week.
Slipping the phone back into its cradle, he tugged open the middle desk drawer to retrieve the bottle of antacids. He tossed three into his mouth and chewed the tart, chalky tablets with a grimace. Hed been downing far too many of the antacids, a point his doctor had made at his last checkup a couple months ago. His doctor had told him to relax, to slow down, as if that would cure what was eating away at him inside.
Women and their damn biological clocks didnt have anything on his own urgency for a child. Everything hed worked for for the last twenty years, every goal had narrowed down to a single purposeto provide for his progeny. He had amassed a fortune, more money than a man could spend in his lifetime, and everything in him insisted he pass it on to someone. No brothers or sisters, no parentsa knot twisted inside him painfullyhe had to give what he possessed to a child, a child of his own.
He didnt completely understand his own motives. As a boy, hed dreamed of wealth and riches. Hed longed for something as simple as a home of his own during the long, lonely nights spent in a strange bed at yet another foster placement. If he could save even one boy or girl from a life like his, it might begin to make up for those years of deprivation.
Or at least that was what he told himself.
He never would have let Carol go if hed felt the urgency for a son or daughter so strongly seven years ago. He would have found a way to keep her. Never mind that there was no love lost between them, he would have tied her down somehow. Hell, he might have even made her pregnant, if he could have been sure the child would inherit her genes and not his. It was just as well hed felt differently then. To have brought a child into a marriage like his and Carols would have been cruel.
He pressed his palm against the wall of glass behind his desk, gazed down on his domain. The swan and her mate had disappeared back into the reeds. The breathless stillness of late summer left the man-made pond surface mirror-smooth, forming a near-perfect oval. That was his life, a construction of perfection, from the neatly manicured lawns of the TaylorMade campus to the sleek barren lines of his home in nearby Granite Bay. From the artwork lining the walls of his home to the acres of tastefully decorated office space, he lived a perfect life.
If only his soul werent so damned empty.
Shooting the cuffs of his jacket, he checked the time on the slim gold watch on his wrist. He had a meeting scheduled in ten minutes with research and development in one of the other buildings. Then there was a lunchtime interview for a project lead position opening up soon. Then, finally, he could return to his office and resume his conversation with Allie.
Although talk was the last thing he wanted to do with her. He wanted her in his arms, pressed against his body. He wanted to bury his face in the silk of her hair, to grab a handful of her soft skirt and ease it up her legs. To inhale her beguiling scent and trail his tongue down the slender column of her throat.
Good God, what the hell was he thinking? Gritting his teeth against his bodys response to the all-too-vivid images, he slammed his chair into the well of his desk. Gathering up the papers scattered across the desk, he stuffed them into his briefcase and headed for the door.
Allie wasnt at her deskthank God for that. Lord only knew what he might do with the tantalizing images still dancing in his head. Stepping past her desk, he headed for the elevators and slapped the down button.
When the elevator door opened, he wasnt prepared for the sight of Allie inside, head bent down, arms crossed over her middle. When her head swung up and she met his gaze, the impact of the visual contact felt as physical as a punch to the gut. The eager fantasies started up again, made more real by her presence. His hungry gaze took in the picture she madeher wary green eyes, the silky dark hair brushing her shoulders, the contrast of her pale arms to the copper-colored shell top she wore. Her flowered skirt reached nearly to her ankles, but somehow it was more provocative than the shortest of minis.
The door started to close; he reached out a hand to stop it. Her gaze fell from his as color rose in her cheeks. She moved past him out of the elevator. Sorry, she said, her low voice setting off new flares inside him.
He stepped inside the elevator, keeping a hand on the door. Ill be over in R and D.
She seemed to want to look anywhere but at him. Good God, had she somehow picked up on his ridiculous middle-aged fantasies? That would be a disaster. At the least shed want to transfer into another department. At the worst she might leave TaylorMade entirely, take a position at another firm.
The elevator buzzed, cutting into his thoughts. He wished shed look up at him, so he could try to read what might be on her mind. The elevator buzzed again, so he called out, See you after lunch, then let go of the door. Just before it shut, she did look up at him, but damned if he could interpret what hed seen in that brief glimpse of her green gaze.
As he rode the elevator down, his stomach roiled with an unfamiliar anxiety. The sudden fear that Allie might leave, that his own lack of control might have driven her away dug its claws into him. When he should have been planning for the meeting ahead of him, his mind wouldnt leave that fear alone.
Was that what shed come to talk to him about this morning? That she planned to leave the company? Despite his every effort to keep his feelings hidden, had she somehow sensed his passion for her? Lord, no wonder shed seemed so skittish. She was probably afraid hed make a play for her at any moment.
He was such a damned idiot. Striding through the downstairs lobby, he gave the glass door leading to the outside a savage push. As he followed the concrete pathway leading to the next building, he ran over and over every nuance of what Allie had saidand hadnt saidthis morning.
As he did, snatches of his conversation with John interwove themselves in his mind with images of Allie, and a preposterous idea floated briefly into his consciousness. He didnt allow himself even a moments consideration before abandoning the notion. Instead he concentrated on the points he would use to counter Allies intent to leave.
Hed convince her that her impressions were wrong. That what shed sensed from him had been merely his admiration for her abilities as his admin assistant. Because that was all that really matteredher value to him as an employee. The rest was just his ill-timed lack of control, a weakness of approaching middle age.
Tugging open the door to the research and development building, he forced his attention back to his scheduled meeting. For the next hour he kept his focus there, his mind straying to thoughts of Allie no more than a half dozen times during the meeting.
When Allie returned to her desk after lunch, she found a yellow sticky note on her phone. She recognized the handwriting on it immediately as Lucass hasty scrawl.
Problem in R and D.
Have to postpone our meeting.
L.
She stared at the brief message with Lucass extravagant looping L at the bottom. Hed taken the time to write her a note? Ordinarily hed bark out a few words to whoever was nearby, leaving Allie to ask around to discover his whereabouts.
She was even more surprised when he called twenty minutes later, launching into his explanation without even a hello. The developers and marketing are at each others throat. This might take the rest of the day.
Even the sound of his voice set off a trembling inside her. Eyes shut, she held the phone to her ear and willed herself to be calm. No rush, she said, even though her fathers dilemma pressed in on her. We can try again tomorrow.
He paused, piquing her curiosity further. What about dinner? Are you free?
Dinner? Tonight? She had nothing planned, but dinner with Lucas seemed terriblyintimate. Part of her ached to say yes even as her mind warned that she would be treading into dangerous territory.
If you have a date
No, Allie said quickly. Dinner tonight would be fine. What time?
Six? Gives me a deadline for this group.
A deadline. Of course. Dinner with her gave him an excuse to call an end to what would likely be an interminable meeting. There was nothing intimate about it.
Six is fine. Ill meet you in the lobby. She pulled his calendar toward her, determined to be businesslike. What about your afternoon appointments?
What have I got?
Two meetings, another interview. She read the details from the calendar.
Attend the meetings in my place. Get Randy Sato to do the interview. Got to go.
See you But he hung up before she could get the words out.
Allie sagged back in her chair, trying to quiet the clamor inside her. This couldnt go on much longer, her feeling this way and working so closely with Lucas. She had to get over her silly schoolgirl crush. Before long, someone would notice. At the least, it would be terribly embarrassing. At the worst, she might well lose her job.
She didnt even want to think about that possibility, not with the situation with her father so dire. She had to keep a level head, for her fathers sake.
Turning to her computer, she printed off the documents she needed for the two afternoon meetings, then caught up on some correspondence. When the time for the first meeting rolled around, she had her focus back, her mind on work. Yes, she had to return to her desk twice before shed even reached the elevatoronce to get her laptop, once to retrieve the papers shed carefully printed for the meetings. And she did draw a blank on the names of two of the attendeespeople shed known for the entire two years shed worked at TaylorMade. But her dinner with Lucas didnt intrude on her thoughts at all.
Not much, anyway.
His fingers wrapped around the steering wheel of his Mercedes, Lucas glanced again at the rearview mirror. Allie was still behind him in her ten-year-old Buick, her face barely visible through the sun-gilded windshield. When hed first seen her rattletrap car, hed nearly insisted she ride with him in the Benz, just to be certain shed make it to the restaurant. But the Buick had started right up, its badly tuned engine rattling and knocking as it idled.
The Mercedess engine purred as he took the turn onto Auburn-Folsom Road toward the American River. As Allies car lagged behind him, barely making the light, Lucas mentally included company car on the list of inducements he planned to present to her tonight. Added to the package hed already put together, she couldnt possibly say no.
Nevertheless, anxiety dug away at his gut. He shouldnt have taken that damn call from his attorney just before he left the office. It was only more bad news and it had thrown him off his stride, set him to second-guessing his strategy for handling Allie. The two had nothing to do with each other, no connection whatsoever. His failure to adopt had no bearing on his ability to retain the best admin assistant TaylorMade had ever hired.
Turning into the Cliff House Restaurant parking lot, he maneuvered his silver sedan into a space, then quickly crossed to Allies car to open her door. She looked up at him, her startled green eyes a tantalizing enticement. Reaching across for her purse, she laid her fingers in his outstretched palm and rose from the car. She quickly pulled her hand free, turning to shut the car door.
Keep your damn hands off her, Taylor! He followed her into the Cliff House, maintaining a good two feet of space between them. When he stepped around her to open the restaurant door for her, he made certain he didnt rest a hand at the small of her back or brush his fingers along her arm. But his mind went wild imagining it.
It was still fairly early and the restaurant was half empty. The ma?tre d led them to a window table overlooking the American River. The setting sun glittered on the broad swath of water below, a nearly blinding display.
Lucas waited until the ma?tre d had finished fussing with menus and water glasses before he launched into his campaign. Before you say anything, I want you to know I can match any salary.
What? Her eyes widened, momentarily distracting him.
He pushed on. And I can accelerate your vesting. Four years instead of five.
Her brow furrowed. Lucas, what are you talking about?
I dont intend to let you leave the company.
What? Oh! She smiled, and his body reacted immediately to that simple curving of her lips. Im sorry.
Thinking she was apologizing because shed already made up her mind, he opened his mouth to offer another of the persuasions hed devised. But then she reached across the table to lay her hand over the back of his and his good sense fragmented in that light touch.
His teeth clenched, his jaw worked to keep himself from turning his hand on the table to clasp her fingers in his. He dug his fingertips into the white linen tablecloth until he thought he would tear holes in the sturdy fabric. His eyes on her small hand, he felt her warmth melting into his skin.
He glanced up at her, her gaze tangling with his. One moment they seemed joined by an intangible but unbreakable cord, the next she was snatching her hand away, color rising in her face. Lucas forced himself to leave his hand where it was, ignoring the chill that seemed to brush against it now that her touch was gone.
She dropped her hands to her lap, and her gaze fell to the white linen. Im not leaving the company, Lucas. She tipped her chin up. I need a loan.
He tried to understand what she was saying. A loan?
She bobbed her head. From you, Lucas. Twenty thousand dollars. Her voice faltered slightly over the amount.
She wasnt leaving! A weight seemed to lift inside him at the news. Yet his relief made him feel somehow vulnerable. He hardened that softness inside him. Why?
At first he thought she wouldnt answer. Its personal. Id rather leave it at that.
Her evasiveness made him feel justified in being harsh with her. You expect me to give you twenty thousand dollars
Her eyes burned with green fire. Not giveloan.
loan you twenty thousand without any reason?
To her credit, she kept her gaze on him. Im not in trouble, Lucas. This isnt to pay off a gambling debt run up in Tahoe or a stack of credit-card bills. But it is personal. Id hoped that in the two years Ive worked for you Id proved myself
Yes.
Her mouth hung open a moment as she absorbed what hed said. Yes? Youll loan me the money?
He gave her a clipped nod, the enormity of what was falling into place inside him nearly making him shake all over. Its a business decision, nothing more, he told himself, but still it took a good long breath for him to continue.
Ill give you the money, he said. On one condition.
She swallowed, the motion of her throat begging him to touch her there. What condition?
Marry me.
Chapter Two
Allie couldnt possibly have heard him right. She stared at his implacable face, waiting for him to continue, to clarify what hed said. But he just stared back at her, his gray eyes unfathomable.
Marry? She swallowed, shaking her head. You?
For an instant, he seemed flustered, then he gathered his usual cloak of arrogance around him. Hear me out.
He leaned back in his chair, his gaze falling a moment to the linen tablecloth. She knew that impenetrable expression, had seen it dozens of time during staff meetings or when he was in the midst of acquisition negotiations. It meant he felt fully in control of the proceedings and intended to turn circumstances exactly the way he desired.
Lucas she began, but he forestalled her with a raised hand.
Hear me out, he said again.
He lowered his hands to the edge of the table, his fingers gripping so tightly, his knuckles whitened. Allie suddenly realized he wasnt nearly as in control as shed thought.
He kept his eyes fixed on her as if it were an effort of will. For the past several months, Ive been attempting to adopt.
A baby? she asked, incredulous.
Or a young child. He cleared his throat. The county doesnt want to approve a forty-year-old single man. My attorney tells me I could even the odds considerably if I married.
He made the process sound so cut-and-dried, she might have thought he considered a child one more step in the well-thought-out business plan of his life. Yet she detected the faintest tremor in his voice, a shadow of desperation in his eyes. This from a man who remained aloof when employees brought their children into the office.
Lucas, we hardly know one another. To marry
If its sex youre worried about
Sex! Good God, she hadnt even considered the physical side of a marriage to Lucas. Despite herself, her mind raced, her heart rate keeping pace. All the fantasies shed struggled to contain surged forward.
Im not proposing a conventional marriage, Lucas continued, oblivious to her rampant thoughts. It would be strictly platonic.
The sudden rush of disappointment unsettled her. Pushing it aside, she focused on rational discussion. Why me? There must be other women, women youve dated who could play the role of wife.
They have much more complex lives than you. Theyve been married before, have children, their own homes. You have no strings.
True enough, but she felt irritation at the dismissive way he summed up her life. Allie shook her head. Strings or not, Im not interested in marriage.
Look, Lucas said, reaching across the table to take her hand. She couldnt suppress a shiver of reaction. I need a wife, you need money. Agree to marry me and we both get what we want.
His large hand covered hers, his warm palm nestling against her fingers. The warmth, the power of him seemed to sap her strength, to dissolve her will. Like her autocratic father, this man could swallow her up, diminish her.
Her own mother, a sweet and loving woman, had always seemed to shrink in stature when she was with her husband. French Dickenson barked out an order and Elizabeth complied, even if it turned her own plans upside down. Allies mother gave every ounce of her soul to the man she adored, tucking her own needs away time and again. When the cancer took hold, Elizabeths physical pain was nothing compared to the agony she had felt in defying French by dying.
Allie was not her mother. She couldnt live like that.
No. She tugged her hand free. I cant marry you.
His jaw tightened and she recognized the hard light in his gray eyes. Then I cant loan you the money.
Allie sat there, stunned. Not that he would turn her down, but that he would coerce her this way. To back her into a corner went beyond arrogance, bordered on cruelty.
You cant mean that.
I can. Its my money, Allie.
She looked around her at the half-full restaurant, at the waiter hovering nearby, out the window at the American River below them. She couldnt say yes, couldnt let herself be sucked into Lucass control. She faced him again. Then Ill get the money somewhere else.
A faint smile curved his lips. If you could have borrowed it elsewhere, you wouldnt have asked me. Im your last resort.
Of course he was right, damn him. And he surely knew how desperately she needed the money. Still, the words were impossible to drag out. If I agreed, how long would we have to stay married?
The tension in his face eased at her apparent capitulation. One year, possibly two. However long it takes to finalize the adoption. Ill have to consult my attorney.
She nodded, her head suddenly pounding. She felt as if she perched on the lip of a chasm, readying herself to leap it. Would she safely reach the other side? Or fall to be crushed on the rocks below? Then yes, she said, barely above a whisper. Ill marry you.
Triumph lit his eyestriumph and something else. Relief? Good then. Fine. He picked up his water glass to sip; she could swear his hand trembled slightly. A month enough time for you? To pack up your apartment and move to my estate?
The enormity of what shed agreed to swamped her. Move? Why cant I keep my own place?
Social services performs home visitations for prospective parents. Theyll expect husband and wife to be living together.
She imagined herself standing in the river below, the swift currents below the surface taking her feet out from under her, sweeping her away. She tried to grasp for some measure of self-control. When can you give me the money?
He gestured peremptorily to the waiter. After were married.
No, she said, grateful for the opportunity to take a stand, no matter how weak. I need the money now.
Thats acceptable. He opened the menu, effectively dismissing her now that he had her concession. Ill wire the money to your account tomorrow.
He ordered for them both, scarcely pausing to ask her approval of his choice. Shaken by what had transpired in the past several minutes, she realized she would have to strengthen her resolve if she hoped to survive thisthisagreement with Lucas with her self-esteem intact.
When her salad arrived, she dove into it, suddenly ravenous. Shed been so anxious about her upcoming discussion with Lucas, shed eaten almost nothing at lunch. Now, with a little food in her stomach, she could wrest some control back from Lucas.
Where shall we have the ceremony? she asked.
He seemed surprised by her question. The county courthouse. Or Tahoe. It doesnt matter.
She tipped her chin up stubbornly. It does to me. I want my family there. Theyd never forgive me if I didnt invite them.
It isnt a real wedding, Allie. We dont need your family there.
He was right, of course. There was no real commitment between them other than expediency. But she felt a compulsion to include her family. I need them.
No. He shook his head. I dont want this turning into a circus.
Not a circus, Lucas. Just my sister, brother and their spouses.
His gaze narrowed on her and she got the sense he was only now realizing he may have underestimated her. She felt a brief flare of satisfaction. Then he dipped his head in acquiescence. Fine. Well include your family.
She ought to be content with that victory, but she pushed on. And I want the ceremony in a church, not the courthouse.
She expected exasperation. Instead she got cold, tightly leashed anger. Not a church. The courthouse or my own backyard. I wont say the vows in a church.
The bitterness in his tone, the bleak rage in his eyes shocked her. The courthouse, then, she said softly.
Even as he retreated behind his habitual arrogant mask, Allie wondered about the true self hidden beneath the layers of control, wondered if there was anything more to Lucas Taylor than the overbearing persona he showed the world.
Maybe not. Maybe some men, like Lucas, like her own father, only knew one waypower, control, dominance. Give and take, compromise didnt exist in their universe. In all the years and all the battles with her father, Allie would have given anything for a truce. But in her fathers eyes, truce meant surrender and surrender meant defeat.
In the end, his own body had defeated him. As his lucent moments became scarcer, her father might never realize the way his daughter had sacrificed her own freedom on his behalf.
Leaning back as the waiter came to take away their salad plates, Allie felt the significance of her agreement with Lucas settle on her, a nearly unbearable weight. The delectable broiled salmon the waiter set before her a few moments later could have been sawdust for all the appeal it held for her roiling stomach. As she made a show of cutting a bite of the succulent fish, she glanced over at Lucas.
He sat motionless, looking out the window, his expression distant, his face emotionless. While she struggled to come to terms with the prospect of marriage, Lucas seemed to have already compartmentalized it as another finalized business decision. It meant no more to him than that.
Her gaze dropped to the table and saw a different story in Lucass hands. Resting on either side of his plate of swordfish, they gripped his fork and knife so fiercely she wondered if he would bend them in his agitation. Tension popped the tendons out in the backs of his hands, set his shoulders into a stiff, rigid line.
Lucas. She reached out, lightly touched his hand.
He jerked back from her, dropping the silverware. Excuse me. Tossing his napkin on the table, he rose and strode off toward the mens room.
Allie watched him go, a thousand questions whirling in her mind. She ate a few bites of her salmon, a little of the fresh broccoli beside it on the plate, all the while forcing herself to sit still and wait for Lucas.
When he returned, hed gathered his businesslike shroud around him again. We can have the ceremony at a church, if you like. He said it as if it mattered little to him, as if his vehement objection earlier had never happened. Ill leave it to you to pick the church.
He dug into his swordfish then, finishing it off methodically. No explanation of why hed left the table, no further discussion of the wedding. Allie could scarcely take another bite, he had her so off-balance.
Later, when he escorted her to her car, he opened the door for her and waited until shed climbed inside. Last Saturday in September, he said. The afternoon is fine.
She might as well have been scheduling a business trip for him. Have you considered what we should tell people at work?
He shrugged. They know how closely weve worked together the past two years. Well announce weve decided to marry. Theyll draw their own conclusions.
It might be that easy for him. Most of TaylorMades employees were too intimidated to ask Lucas any personal questions. But she had a half dozen friends at the office who would grill her mercilessly when they found out.
He gazed down at her, his expression inscrutable. Thats it, then.
She waited for him to back away, to shut the door. Instead, he bent, leaning into the car, brushing his lips against her cheek. Then his hand cupped her chin, turning her toward him. He pressed his lips to hers, softly, his lingering warmth stealing her breath.
She couldnt help herself, she kissed him back, slanting her mouth against his, raising her hand to his rough cheek. She heard a low sound in his throat, felt his fingers on her chin tighten. Then the briefest stroke of his tongue against the seam of her lips easing her mouth open. She parted her lips, ready to welcome him inside.
He straightened abruptly, backing away from her. Sorry, he rasped out before slamming her door. Rounding his car, he wrenched open his door, every movement full of anger. He waited until shed started her engine and pulled out, but he wouldnt look her way.
Her entire body shook in the aftermath of his kiss and the anger that followed it. As she navigated the streets back to her apartment, she kept a stranglehold on the steering wheel to keep from veering off the road.
Shed thought she could handle this. Shed thought she could marry Lucas and still keep her sanity. But now she realized it was entirely impossible. His kiss had brought home to her the utter lunacy of the notion.
Shed tell him tomorrow. First thing in the morning, when she walked into his office, shed tell him shed changed her mind. Shed just have to scare up another source of money.
Agitated, she missed the turn at Sunrise and had to double back. As she wended her way through the traffic, she tried to rehearse what she would say to Lucas. But despite all her efforts, her mind kept returning to the feel of his lips on hers, the strength of his hand cupping her face.
Lucas shut the front door behind him and tossed his keys on the small table in the spacious entryway. Through sheer will he kept himself from flinging his briefcase across the acres of Berber carpeting his living room. He dropped it under the table, unwilling for the moment to open it and pull out the work hed brought home.
What the hell had he done? What madness had taken control of him, had driven him to kiss Allie? What had possessed him to suggest marriage in the first place?
He slipped out of his shoes and padded across the glowing oak hardwood of the entryway to the thick living-room carpet. At the far end of the wide room with its high ceilings and expanse of windows overlooking the three-acre lake below stood a fully stocked wet bar. The housekeeper, Mrs. Vasquez, always filled the ice bucket before she left for the day. Lucas pulled down a tumbler and dropped in a handful of ice.
An array of liquor bottles crowded the shelf above. Why did he keep so much alcohol in the house when he never entertained? Some damn test he supposed. To prove he could resist what had destroyed his mother, to refute the potential in his own genetic makeup.
Resolutely, he chose a bottle of tonic water and emptied it into the tumbler. A dish of cut lime waited for him in the small refrigerator under the wet bar. After squeezing a wedge into his glass, he moved to the sofa and sagged into it.
He took a swallow of the tart tonic water then set the tumbler aside. It had all seemed so logical in the moment. He needed a wife, she needed money, just as hed said. But it was apparent from his lack of control when he walked her to his car that it had been his libido talking, not his brain.
He picked up the glass again, glided it back and forth against his brow. What now? There was really only one course of actiontell Allie hed changed his mind, that after giving the matter consideration, hed realized a marriage between them would be untenable. Hed loan her the money as hed promised and work out an arrangement to deduct payments from her paycheck.
And the solution to his problemthe complete unlikelihood that the county would relent and decide him eligible to adopt? Hed have to find another way, through private agencies or contacts made through his attorney, John. Those prospects were just as bleak for a single father and time was certainly against him. But at least he had the money to pursue that route.
Rising, he walked to the kitchen to check his answering machine. There were two messages, both from John, both since hed left his office. Without much hope, Lucas picked up his portable phone and headed out the back of the house. This side faced a grove of oak trees and the small vineyard hed had put in four years ago. Leaning against the porch rail, he speed-dialed his attorneys home number and waited for him to pick up.
After the greetings were out of the way, John cut to the chase. Did I ever introduce you to my cousin, Angela?
Lucas pressed his lips into a grim smile. I dont want you fixing me up, John.
But I think you two might hit it off, John persisted. Shes in her early thirties, absolutely gorgeous and ready to settle down. I told her about you
Not interested, John. Lucas paused, sipped his drink. Besides, Ive already made my own arrangements.
What arrangements?
His hand shaking, Lucas had to set the glass on the porch rail. His decision of a few moments before might as well have never been. Ive asked someone to marry me.
Total silence on the phone line. Lucas waited for John to muster a response. After several seconds, his attorney asked, Who?
Allie Dickenson, my admin assistant.
I had no idea there was anything between you and
There isnt, Lucas said flatly. I explained the adoption situation to Allie and she agreed to help me out.
Just like that. John sounded dubious.
Not entirely. Shes in a financial bind. I promised her some money in exchange.
It sounded so crass, laid out like that. He didnt like the negative light Allies promise to marry him shed on her.
I see, John said. And how long will yourcommitment last?
Tension tightened in Lucass stomach at Johns evasion of the word marriage. Until the adoption is finalized. I hope things will move faster with the hurdles out of the way.
Even with private adoption, that could be a year or two, John cautioned.
I told her as much. A year or two of living with Allie filled Lucas with an unexpected excitement. He paced across the porch, moving from one end of the house to the other.
Johns next statement brought him back to earth. I assume youll want a pre-nup drawn up.
A prenuptial agreement? Lucas hadnt even considered that aspect. Something in him balked at the idea of asking Allie to sign a document protecting his assets. It seemed an insult to a woman who had been nothing but honorable as long as hed known her. Is that necessary?
I highly recommend it, John said.
Lucas sighed. How soon can you have it ready?
Whens the wedding?
Last weekend in September.
Ill have it done by the end of next week.
His mind working feverishly, Lucas re-crossed the porch. Beyond him, the gnarled branches of his vineyard glowed orange in the last of the setting sun, each vine heavy with grapes, Chardonnay and Zinfandel. He had so much, surely he could spare more than the twenty thousand hed promised.
I want to include a sizeable settlement for Allie. Lucas named an amount, then immediately wondered if he should double it.
You cant be serious! John protested. Carol didnt even get that much.
There wasnt as much to give back then. Allies sacrificing one or more years of her life. Its only fair.
A thought niggled at him that it might have been fairest to simply loan her the money without the commitment of marriage. But he pushed it aside, determined to continue.
After he said his goodbyes to John, he considered calling Allie. He wanted to tell her about the pre-nup, about the additional compensation he was awarding her. He felt an urgency to cement the deal between them.
Pushing open the French doors leading back into the house, he strode to the kitchen cabinet where the phone books were kept. He could boot up his computer and get her home number from the company database, but this would be quicker. Hed found her number and was about to dial it when doubt lapped at him. Maybe he should leave her be tonight. Hed already dumped a mountain of turmoil in her lap, maybe she needed some breathing space.
He set down the phone on the counter and headed for the stairs, pausing only to grab his briefcase. But two hours later, hed accomplished none of the tasks hed brought home with him. He could think of nothing but Allies face, her lips, the taste and feel of her against his tongue. Just as he thrust aside one sensual image, another rose to take its place.
It was only lust, he told himself, and lust he could control. As long as those baser feelings didnt give way to other, more intimate, more vulnerable emotions, he would be safe.
So, as he lay in his bed courting sleep, he allowed himself the harmless fantasies. When he finally slept, the eroticism followed him into his dreams. But as morning neared, the sensual haze parted and he saw only Allies face, her soft green eyes on him, her lips curved in a smile.
When he woke, he refused to acknowledge the inexplicable ache inside him. But it clung to him, nonetheless, as he dressed, ate a hurried breakfast, drove to TaylorMade headquarters. It eased only when he walked off the elevator and saw Allie waiting for him, a tentative smile on her face.
Chapter Three
Everything had changed, Allie realized as she watched Lucas stride toward her desk. Because of their agreementbecause of their kiss. Telling him shed had second thoughts, that she no longer intended to go through with the marriage wouldnt bring things between them back the way they were before. In that one moment when his lips touched hers, the world had shuddered to a stop on its axis and had begun to spin an entirely different way.
He nodded at her as he passed, then waited at his door for her to follow. She wondered if hed read her mind, had realized she wanted to talk to him. Then she remembered this was the way they started every morning, with his appointment book, going over his day.
As she picked up the laptop computer she stored all his engagements on, she mentally placed her declaration at the top of their to-do list. She had no intention of letting this slide as she had her request for a loan. They had to clear the air immediately.
She shut the door behind her, then crossed the room to set the computer in its usual place on his desk. As it powered up, she opened her mouth to speak.
He beat her to it. I spoke to my attorney last night and this morning. There are a few details about the marriage we need to go over.
No mention of their kiss, as if it had never happened. Lucas was back in control and Allie realized he could easily steamroller her if she let him.
She stood up straighter before him. Lucas, Ive had a change of heart. I cant marry you after all.
Not a flicker of reaction in his face. He just sat down and motioned her to do the same. The facts havent changed, Allie. Your needs and mine dovetail. Ive already arranged to have the funds you requested transferred. Just give me your account number.
As she brought the visitor chair up to the desk opposite him, she tried to frame what shed rehearsed late into the night. She lowered herself into her chair, sat perched on the edge. I intend to explore other avenues for the loan. What those would be she had no idea. Im sorry I cant help you with yoursituation, but marriage is out of the question.
Resting his arms on his desk, he leaned toward her. Why?
It was barely a question, more a demand for information. Why? she asked herself. Why couldnt she marry him? Last night at 2:00 a.m., her bedsheets tangled around her legs from her restlessness, shed had the answers. Now it seemed none of them would hold up to his scrutiny.
Because we hardly know one another. She groped for the words. Because marriage Because marriage is far too intimate a relationship. Because it would force a false closeness on us neither one wants.
Because you kissed me.
Allie. He said her name so softly, almost tenderly, bringing her attention to him. His steel-gray gaze fixed on her face, his expression intent. What I did last nightit was a mistake. A ridiculous mistake. I wont repeat it. I promised you a platonic relationship. You have no reason to fear Ill overstep those bounds again.
Under his scrutiny, she could barely bring two thoughts together. Even still, Lucas
Please reconsider, Allie.
Every ounce of self-preservation within her screamed no. His promise didnt change the thread of attraction stretching between them, her secret yearning that Lucas would do exactly what hed just vowed he would not.
And yet She studied his face, the impenetrable mask he wore. His eyes were guarded, giving nothing away. But when her gaze dropped to his hands on his desk, her impressions shifted. Hed clenched his fingers together, all the tension in his body centered on the tendons and bones of his hands.
What could be going on inside him that made control so imperative? Shed always seen him as arrogant, autocratic. In the two years shed worked for him, shed had to struggle constantly to hold her own, to stand her ground. Marrying him would make that battle ten times worse.
And yet His gaze met hers unflinchingly as the grip of his hands tightened. Suddenly, her heart ached for him. And she knew, despite the sure peril ahead, what she would say.
Yes, then, she said, nodding. Well marry.
A smile flashed on his face and was gone in an instant. Tension seemed to drain from his body. Let me update you on my conversation with my attorney.
He launched into an explanation of the terms and conditions of their prenuptial agreement, his tone as impersonal as if he were discussing an upcoming corporate takeover. This was a union between a man and a woman, a joining together that should be done in love. She wished she could reach inside him somehow and shake that fierce reserve. But hed withdrawn behind his barriers, unreachable.
She knew one way to shake him. Shed seen it last night when hed leaned into her car to kiss her. He hadnt planned it, she was sure of that. Something other than his formidable mind had taken charge, pulled him to her.
What if she initiated a kiss? What if she rounded his desk right now and touched him? Slipped onto his lap, threaded her fingers into his hair and brought his mouth closer to hers? Shed gotten such a brief taste of him last night and the images had replayed themselves over and over in her mind as shed tossed and turned in bed.
Closing her eyes, she raised her hands to her heated cheeks. She couldnt let her thoughts stray like this. A chaste marriage with Lucas would be difficult enough without fantasies to distract her.
Allie, is something the matter?
Her eyes flew open to see him staring at her intently. Thank God he couldnt read her mind. Im fine. What were you saying?
The prenuptial includes a settlement for you when the marriage terminates.
Planning the ending of their marriage so cold-heartedly only heightened her misgivings. But she was committed now, no matter how wrong it felt. I dont need a settlement. Youre already loaning me the twenty thousand.
Giving, not loaning.
Im planning to pay it back.
Dont be pigheaded about this, Allie. The money is yours, free and clear as of today. The rest will compensate you for the one to two years this process could take.
Its not a process, Lucas. Its a marriage. An adoption of a childa human being. You cant keep treating this as some sort of business transaction.
His fingers wrapped more tightly around the arms of his chair, the only indication shed hit home with her comment. Youre right, of course. But I intend to give you the settlement, nonetheless.
How much? she asked warily.
Two million. He said the amount casually, as if he were only offering her a couple hundred.
Youre crazy! She leapt to her feet. Totally nuts! Thats too much, Lucas.
The hell it is.
I cant take that much. She shook her head. No way.
He crossed his arms over his chest, his expression cold. Im damn well not budging on this, Allie.
She stared at him, completely flabbergasted. This was a man shed seen go toe-to-toe with hardened businessmen, shaving millions off a deal if he felt the price was inflated. How could he justify giving her so much money?
But there was no arguing with him, at least for now. Shed have to find a way to refuse the money when the time came. She nodded her head in acquiescence.
Give me your account number, he said, moving his chair up to the desk again. Then we have to get on with the day. Whens my first meeting?
Lifting the laptop from his desk, she sank into her chair, trembling. Every time she thought she might have the upper hand, he backed her into a corner. How would she handle two years of this?
The account number is in my purse. Why dont we go through your schedule first?
He gave her a brusque nod, then she read off his commitments for the day. He told her what data he needed for his various meetings, reeling off the information with machine-gun rapidity. Somehow he seemed able to maintain his same businesslike demeanor while her hands shook on the keyboard, making one error after another as she typed.
When she finally escaped from his office to retrieve her purse, she had to give herself a moment to recover before going back inside. She sagged over her desk, leaning against it as she took a few deep breaths. Helen, who worked for one of Lucass vice presidents, gave her a sympathetic smile. Allie responded in kind, although it was a weak effort.
Helen would know soon enough, and word would pass around the company from her and the handful of others Allie would tell. For now, she was just as glad to keep the news to herself, to have a chance to accustom herself to the shock.
Her phone buzzed, startling her. It was Lucas. Probably wanted to know what was keeping her. She picked up the phone. Yes?
The account number? he snapped out.
Struggling to hold onto her patience, she pulled out her checkbook and read off the appropriate digits. Anything else?
Get on that church right away, he said.
I will.
He fell silent and Allie assumed his mind had already shifted to his days meetings. She was about to take the phone from her ear when he said, Allie?
The tentativeness of his tone surprised her. Yes?
Another long pause. Thank you.
She didnt know what shocked her morethat hed said it or that he sounded so genuinely grateful. Youre welcome. She lowered the phone back to its cradle.
She sat for a moment at her desk, trying to resolve the tumultuous feelings inside her. She was marrying Lucas Taylor, her boss. They would put on a facade of a happy marriage to allow him to adopt a child. She would be on her guard every moment against his overpowering personality, against her own inappropriate desires.
She understood the fear inside her, even the excitement. But one emotion roiling within her baffled her completely.
Joy.
After a day spent playing telephone tag with Lucas, Allie returned home with her nerves in a frazzle. Shed finally left a note on his desk about the church, giving up on actually seeing him face-to-face again that day. Now as she threw together a quick meal in the microwave, her gaze kept straying to the phone. Shed thought he might call her, to touch base, to compare notes on how the plans for their wedding were coming along. But it seemed now that he had her consent, hed relegated her to one of those myriad compartments in his brain.
She had to call her sister and brother, had already put it off too long. She just didnt relish the inevitable questions and the answers she would have to fabricate. Not to mention she might miss a call from Lucas if she tied up the line.
She dawdled through her meal, eating little of it, then hurried downstairs to the apartment complex laundry room and started a load in the washer. When she returned, she quickly checked her answering machineno message from Lucas. It was nearly eight; she couldnt put off her calls to her family any longer.
Her sister Sherrils husband answered the phone, giving Allie a few moments to compose what she planned to say. After assuring Sherril everything was fine both with her and their father, French, Allie asked, Are you sitting down?
Sherrils throaty laughter eased the tension in Allies shoulders. Lying down, actually. The babys been playing the tom-toms on my spine.
Allie blurted out the news. Im getting married.
The silence stretched out uncomfortably before Sherril finally spoke. How could you be getting married? You havent even been dating anyone. Another pause. Have you?
Allie had realized before she picked up the phone she couldnt tell her sister the truth, not if she wanted to keep the predicament of their fathers care to herself. She could only hope the lie shed concocted would sound believable.
Im marrying Lucas Taylor. My boss.
Sherril was quiet so long, Allie wondered if the connection had been broken. Finally she said, I had no idea there was anything going on between you two.
Allie forced a laugh. Neither did we. Just kind of sneaked up on us, I guess.
Wellcongratulations, then. Whens the wedding?
Allie braced herself for her sisters reaction. End of September.
What! Ill still be pregnant then, Sherril moaned. Unless this beast decides to come early like his sister did. How am I going to find a whale-sized matron of honor dress?
Allie smiled, pleased at Sherrils assumption she would be matron of honor. Im sure we can find something. Besides, this way, I have at least a hope of outshining you at the wedding.
Allie, I gave up the crown of prettiest sister to you with my first set of stretch marks. Are you having it at the church?
Yes, the minister was able to fit us in, even at such short notice. Reverend Harmon had been so delighted at her news. Even now, Allie felt a stab of guilt at the lies shed told him. The reception will be at Lucass estate.
Allie filled Sherril in on the remainder of the details, then begged her to pass on the news to their brother, Stephen. She simply didnt have the energy to spar with her brother, who still thought his baby sister needed his protection.
After she hung up the phone, Allie headed outside to the apartment complex laundry room to shift her clothes to the dryer. As she fished quarters from her pocket to start the dryer, she realized even this mundane task would change when she moved to Lucass expansive estate. No more lugging laundry down two flights of outside stairs in the winter rain or blistering summer sun. No tossing quarters into a jelly jar to have them ready for laundry day.
Would they wash their clothes together? Intermingling her life with Lucass in such an ordinary way seemed terribly intimate. It made their upcoming marriage somehow more real, more valid.
Rattled by the notion, Allie left her clothes tumbling in the dryer and returned to her apartment. The flashing light on her answering machine sent her heart into overdrivehad Lucas called her after all? But it was only her brother Stephen, demanding she call him back tonight.
The last thing she needed was Stephen and his lectures. Shed committed herself to Lucas, to their marriage. Her brothers haranguing would only heighten her doubts.
Flipping on the TV, she watched a mindless cop show as she waited for her laundry to finish. Lucas never did call, but Stephen did, twice more. Allie resolutely ignored him each time.
With morning light spilling into his office, Lucas paced in agitation. In the week since hed proposed marriage to Allie, he still hadnt regained his focus. Each day his preoccupation with his admin assistant grew until it had become a nearly unmanageable obsession.
When he first arrived in the mornings he was barely able to pass her desk without touching her, without threading his fingers through her hair and tipping her head up to kiss her. He could hardly make it through their morning reviews, the urgency to round the desk and pull her into his arms so overwhelmed him. Sometimes her gaze met his as they worked together and he could see the wariness in her eyes. She had to sense his attraction for her.
His only recourse was to rush her through the recitation of his schedule, to hurry her out of his office. But her absence seemed to tantalize him more than her presence. Just the thought of her expressive green eyes set off a throbbing low in his body, a response he couldnt seem to control. Fantasies played themselves out in his mindof him calling Allie into his office, tugging the dove-gray sleeveless shirt she wore today from the matching skirt, slipping his hand under it to cup her breast. Then lifting her to the desk, parting her legs and
Damn, he had to get himself under control. He strode behind his desk and forced himself to sit. Locking his fingers together, he gripped them tightly on his desk.
If he couldnt keep his hands off her in these weeks before their wedding, how the hell would he do it once they were married? Once they were sharing his home, he wouldnt have a prayer if he didnt keep his rampant desires in line now. And he damn well intended to keep that promise.
Lucas dragged in a long breath and let it out. Most of the women he knew looked at sex the way he dida necessary physical release. No messy emotions to get in the way. But Alliestill young and idealistic and full of hopeshe might think physical intimacy meant more than it did. And the last thing he needed was Allie believing she was in love with him.
Unclenching his hands, he lifted a small Post-it square from the left side of his desk and repositioned it on the right. The note had been there all week, a glaring reminder of the upcoming wedding. On the pale-yellow square of paper, Allie had written down the name of the Methodist church in Fair Oaks and the time and date of the ceremony. Reverend Frank Harmon, shed penned across the bottom of the note, the neat flowing loops of her script as feminine as the woman who wrote them.
A knock on his office door sent tension zinging up his spine. He dragged a folder to the center of his desk and opened it, dipping his head down to the stack of papers he should have been reviewing. Enter.
Allie slipped inside, shutting the door behind her. As she crossed the office, her soft skirt rippled around her, shaping itself to the curves of her body. Could we talk? The faintest trace of irritation colored her tone.
He closed the folder with precise care. Certainly.
She stood before his desk, shoulders thrown back. You might be able to see our marriage as a cold-blooded business deal, but I cant. Even though were not marrying for love, were going to live together for the next two years. We ought to get to know each other better.
He struggled to focus on what she was saying, distracted by the way the late-morning sun lit her slender form. Would her skin feel warmer under that yellow glow? He shook off the image. What do you want, Allie?
I want you to stop avoiding me.
I havent been avoiding you.
She just stared at him a moment, her expression telling him she knew a snow job when she heard one. I want to spend some time with you, Lucas. I want a chance to get to know you a little better before the wedding.
It wasnt an unreasonable request, if you ignored the heat rippling through his body that urged him to get to know her much, much better. More time spent with her meant an even greater trial for his libido. But hell, he was a grown man. He ought to be able to give Allie what she wanted without breaking his promise of a platonic relationship.
She stood there, watching him, no doubt preparing her next argument if he turned her down. Lord, she was a hell of a fighter.
What am I doing for lunch? he asked her.
The question caught her off guard. She glanced around her as if seeking her laptop. No meetings scheduled.
I have one now, he said. With you.
Her brilliant smile cut straight to his heart, setting off a flurry of unfamiliar emotions. Before he could catch his balance again, shed moved around his desk and bent to put her arm around his shoulders. Thank you, she murmured in his ear.
The warmth of her breath teased him, the nearness of her crumbled his good intentions. Before she could straighten, hed curved his hands around her face, brought her mouth to his.
His fingers dove into her silky black hair, the softness against his skin a sweet torment. He brushed his mouth against hers, telling himself with each light touch to back off, to push her away. But when hed kissed her a week ago, hed had only the briefest taste. The memory of it had haunted him every night, stealing his sleep, infiltrating his dreams.
And he had to have more.
Chapter Four
Allie never should have touched him. In her delight over sharing lunch with Lucas, shed let impulse take control. Now with him so near, with his breath fanning across her face as he stroked her lips with his, the snare of his passion wound around her.
She had to pull away. She took a step back to do just that when Lucass mouth drifted from her lips, along her jaw to nuzzle in her ear. She swallowed back a moan, her pleasure easing out in a sigh instead. The hand hed buried in her hair moved restlessly, its random pattern electric and breath-stealing.
Her own hands took their cue from him, gliding along the stiff shoulders of his jacket to the warm column of his throat. She wanted to ease her fingertips into his hair, explore his sensitive scalp as he did hers. She wanted to do moreto shift to stand in the V of his legs, to press her aching breasts against his chest.
She was lost. With so little effort, Lucas had taken over. And yet she had only to take another step back, to straighten and tug herself away and he would let her go. He had to let her go.
Drawing in a trembling breath, Allie struggled to regain her strength, her will. She slid her hands from Lucass throat, pressed her palms against his shoulders. The instant he felt the pressure of her hands against him, he released her so that she nearly stumbled as she backed away.
He sprang from his chair, turning away from her. Facing the window, he pressed both palms against the glass, arms stiff with tension. Hell.
She heard a tremor in the softly spoken word. Raising a shaky hand, she smoothed her hair from her face. Im sorry.
His head swiveled toward her, his eyes blazing. What the devil do you have to be sorry for?
Because I Her stomach knotted, cutting off the words. She took a breath. I shouldnt have touched you.
For a long moment, he just stared at her. Then he pushed away from the window. No you shouldnt. Because I damn well cant seem to control Stabbing his fingers through his thick dark hair in agitation, he raised his gaze to hers. Im the one who should apologize. You did nothing wrong. I took advantagehell.
Shed seen Lucas angry, seen him throw on a cloak of intimidation that drove fear into the hearts of his adversaries, but shed never seen him this wayflustered, uncertain, off-balance. His unsettling vulnerability set off a chord inside Allie, an unexpected tenderness.
Which sent her thoughts marching in a perilous direction. She edged away from him, headed for the door. She could feel his eyes on her every step, but couldnt quite meet his gaze. Is lunch stilldo you still want to?
When are my appointments finished?
Twelve-thirty. She chanced a quick glance at him. The softness shed seen before in him had gone, replaced by his usual icy calm.
Twelve-thirty, then.
He retrieved his chair and lowered himself into it. She reached for the door.
Allie.
The gentleness of his tone drew her back around. Arms across her middle, she faced him. Something flickered in his eyes, emotions that seemed to struggle to the surface before sinking again into the mystery that was Lucas Taylor.
He dropped his gaze, shuffled papers into the file folder on his desk. Ill need that production cost spreadsheet for the eleven oclock sales meeting.
Hed shut himself off again, reverting to the businessman. He so easily suppressed the emotions that still had her in turmoil.
Irritation gnawed at her. How many copies? she snapped out.
Ten should do it.
He still kept his gaze fixed on the file folder as if it revealed some crucial secret. Despite the bland neutrality of his expression, tension gripped him, holding him so tightly Allies heart ached for him.
Her irritation faded away. Ill have them ready for you in ten minutes.
She slipped from his office, moved to sit at her desk. As she connected her laptop with her desktop computer, she tried to untangle the confusion inside her. But when it came to Lucas Taylor, nothing was simple.
With a sigh, Allie brought up the spreadsheet program and with an effort of will, threw herself into her work.
At exactly twelve-thirty, Lucas returned from the sales meeting and strode to her desk. Lets go, he demanded.
In the process of transferring figures from the quarterly marketing report to a spreadsheet, Lucass command splintered Allies hard-won concentration. She pressed the wrong key and deleted the last hours work. Damn!
She glared up at Lucas, then quickly clicked the Undo command. Banging at the keyboard, she saved her work and set her laptop on standby. With an angry jerk she pulled open her desk drawer and grabbed her purse.
She seethed silently in the elevator. He seemed oblivious to her anger. When they reached the ground floor, he laid his hand lightly at the small of her back and guided her through the lobby.
Well visit my jeweler after lunch. He opened the lobby door for her, stepping aside to let her go first. We havent selected rings yet. Id rather have you there since I dont know your preferences.
The midday heat scorched her in the first few steps outside the buildings air-conditioned comfort. She couldnt hold in her agitation an instant longer. Whirling to stand in his path, she stopped his forward progress.
My preference is that you treat me with a modicum of respect and courtesy. My preference is that you remember Im not a serf you can order to do your bidding.
He gazed down at her, his expression baffled. What are you talking about?
She clenched her jaw and looked away a moment to gather her patience, then she returned her gaze to his. If you hadnt noticed, I was working in there, doing your work as a matter of fact. In the time Ive been employed by you Ive put up with your arrogance because you were my boss.
She pointed a finger at him, prodded him in the chest for emphasis. Youre still my boss. But if we go through with this crazy idea of a marriage, I want you to ask politely, not bark out an order.
Before she could take another breath, his hand flew up to capture hers. He held it against his chest, his lips thinning with what looked like the genesis of anger. For an instant, he was her father, his rage at her impertinence a storm brewing inside him. It had happened every time shed stood up to him, asserted herself as an individual. And even knowing this was Lucas, not her father, she couldnt help the first tendrils of insecurity winding around her stomach.
Even as she tensed for the anticipated explosion, his mouth relaxed, his lips softening and curving into a faint smile. Im sorry, he said, his thumb moving against the back of her hand. Im too much a creature of habit.
Relief flooded her, even as her body responded to the stroking of his thumb, to his gaze fixed briefly on her mouth. She supposed she should pull her hand away, but it felt so pleasant enfolded in his, resting lightly against his chest. Hed worn a pale-gray shirt today and she imagined gliding her palm along the crisp smoothness, shaping the musculature underneath.
Thank you, she said, not sure what she was thanking him for. The sun beat down on them, rivaling the heat Lucass touch had set off in her. I guess we should go.
She thought he would release her hand, but he kept it in his, interlacing his fingers with hers. Her bare arm rubbed against the sleeve of his suit jacket as he kept pace with her.
Up ahead the parking lot steamed in the brilliant sunlight. When they reached his silver Mercedes, he paused before pulling out his keys, raised her hand again to his chest. Its been a long time since Ive held a womans hand.
His comment startled her. She knew he hadnt been without a woman for long; hed been dating someone as recently as late spring. The woman had come into the office a half dozen times, a tall edgy blonde who apparently owned a high-power consulting firm in downtown Sacramento. Allie tried to remember if shed ever seen Lucas holding the womans hand. She could only recall the blondes stunning looks, how striking a couple she and Lucas had made.
Yet another puzzle piece that didnt seem to fit. Lucas brushed his lips against her knuckles, sending a tremor through her, then let go to fish the car keys out of his pocket. He opened the passenger-side door, helping her in before rounding the car to the drivers side.
As they pulled out of the lot, Allie remembered what Lucas had said about the jeweler. We dont need rings, she told him.
He didnt even look her way, just glanced at the rearview mirror as he merged into traffic on Douglas Boulevard. Were getting rings.
Ill just have to return mine when weafter.
Youll keep it.
Along with that ridiculous amount of money he was insisting she take. Then well just get plain bands. Something inexpensive.
Brow arched, he shot his gaze her way, then returned his attention to his driving. Allie sighed, realizing he might have agreed to treat her with courtesy, but it wouldnt change his attempts to run her life. Shed have to be constantly vigilant, or he might smother her very identity as her father had done for all those years.
Lucas saw the surprise in Allies face when they pulled up to the tiny Mexican restaurant hed decided on for lunch. Shed expected something pricey and upscale, more like the Cliff House where theyd dined the night hed proposed to her. Cocina Caldera was nearly a hole-in-the-wall by comparison, but the food was good, the service excellent. That he had a connection to the owner, Teresa Caldera, that he felt a certain comfort here he felt nowhere else was immaterial.
When they stepped inside the packed restaurant, Teresa Caldera and her daughter Inez greeted Lucas by name as they hurried by with steaming plates. As he and Allie waited for a table, Lucas shifted uneasily, wondering what Allie thought of the place, wondering if by being here he somehow revealed too much of his past.
Suddenly anxious to leave, he said, Its too crowded. Well try somewhere else.
She smiled up at him. Im not in any hurry. This place smells wonderful.
By now theyd edged their way up to the cash register where Teresa rang up a sale. The stout woman, her dark hair threaded with gray, grinned up at him. Hola, guapo, ?Cmo ests?
Bien, he replied in automatic response to the familiar greeting.
Teresa gave Allie a pointed look, and Lucas felt suddenly awkward, like a teenager introducing his girlfriend to his parents for the first time. This was the only time hed brought anyone but a business associate to the restaurant.
This is Alison Dickenson, my administrative assistant. Allie, this is Teresa Caldera.
The two women shook hands, then Teresa rushed off to pick up another order. Inez came to seat them and Lucas sank into the booth in relief.
As they scanned their menus, the crowd thinned out and the din quieted. Lucas could feel Allies gaze on him. He raised his eyes to hers.
What?
She shrugged. You didnt introduce me as your fiance.
Of course shed noticed. It slipped my mind.
She eyed him in frank disbelief. Nothing slips your mind, Lucas.
Teresa would have made a big deal over it. I didnt want her fussing.
You must know her well to have her fuss over you like that.
Damn Allie and her observant nature. I eat here often, Lucas said evenly as the plastic edges of the menu bit into his palms. Teresa has a way of making her regulars family.
Lucas could see she wanted to push the issue of Teresa. He set the menu down. Are you ready to order? Without waiting for her to answer, he signaled Inez.
Out of habit, he ordered in Spanish and Inez joked about his atrocious accent as she always did. She insisted he introduce Allie, her dark brow rising when he described Allie as his good friend. No doubt Inez would be comparing notes with Teresa back in the kitchen.
The questions seemed to pile up in Allies green eyes. While they waited for their food, Lucas kept Allie busy with questions about work, querying her about when shed have the month-end reports ready.
When Inez brought their lunch, Lucas dove into his fajitas, focusing on piling strips of beef, red pepper and onion onto the flour tortillas. From the corner of his eye he could see Allie watching him.
Is there something wrong with your mol? he asked. We can send it back.
The mol is fine, Allie said. But were kind of defeating the purpose here. The whole point to having lunch together was to get to know each other. We never will if we keep talking about work.
He set down his fork. What do you want to know?
She smiled at him across the table. Id just like to learn a little more about you.
Wariness crept into the pit of his stomach. Like what?
Where you grew up, where your parents live, if you have brothers and sisters.
Such ordinary questions, easy enough for most people to answer. But for him, they opened a can of worms he had no intention of opening. I grew up in the Sacramento area. I have no brothers and sisters. My parents are dead.
He could see the sympathy in her face. Im sorry. How long have they been gone?
A long time. To cut short her inquiry, he turned the question around to her. What about your family?
A brother and a sister. Both married, both have kids. I have four nieces and nephews with another on the way. My mom She looked away a moment, and grief flashed across her face. She died a few years ago. My dadhe lives in Reno.
French Dickenson, right? Forbes did quite a write-up on him, whatten years ago?
Twelve. Her gaze dropped to her plate and she ran the tines of her fork through the thick mol sauce. He was very proud of that article.
The motion of Allies wrist as it bent and straightened, bent and straightened, snagged Lucass attention. He could imagine that same mesmerizing movement against his own body. Shaking the image off, he asked, Is he still running Postal Express?
Her hand froze. She kept her eyes on her plate. No. Hes retired.
Lucas could see something in her face. Sorrow? Regret? He wanted to reach across the table, lay a soothing hand against her cheek. He squelched the impulse. Will he be coming to the wedding?
Now she did look up at him, eyes wide. No! She smiled, gesturing with her hand as if to take away the vehemence of her denial. Traveling is difficult for him. Hes not in the best of health. Sherril, Stephen and I visit him on Sundays.
Now it was his turn to be curious. He tried to remember what he might have read in the business-trade magazines about French Dickensons retirement. If there had been mention, it must have been small enough to have passed his notice.
Ill meet him later, then, Lucas said.
She nodded, then bent her head to her lunch. She pushed more of it around on her plate than she actually ate. By the time Inez came to bring the check, Allie had slid the nearly full plate aside.
She laced her fingers together and rested them on the table, tipped her head up to him. So you wont have anyone to invite to the wedding. No family, I mean.
Across the room, Teresa stood at the register. She smiled broadly, speculation clear in her lined face as she watched him with Allie. There were people he could inviteTeresa, her brother Guillermo, Inez. Until this moment it hadnt crossed his mind. Until this moment, it hadnt occurred to him how hurt Teresa would be to be excluded. Hed gone off to Tahoe to wed Carol and Teresa still nursed that pain. It had been enough of a disappointment that his chosen bride hadnt been Inez.
Yet, by inviting the Calderas, Lucas risked opening a door to his past hed long ago nailed shut. How would he explain to Allie what Teresa and Guillermo were to him without telling her the rest? Only by flat lies which his foster mother would never be party to.
Damn, he never should have brought Allie to Cocina Caldera. What had he been thinking?
Glancing at the check, Lucas tossed down a twenty and rose abruptly to his feet. The jewelers expecting us.
He put out his hand to help Allie from her seat, conscious all the time of Teresas eyes on him. As he followed Allie from the restaurant, he waved to Teresa and Inez, glad to escape from their scrutiny.
Allie looked thoughtful as she sat beside him in the Benz, as if she was considering all the evidence and waited for it to click into place. The leather-wrapped steering wheel went slick with the sweat of his palms.
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, (https://www.litres.ru/karen-sandler/the-boss-s-baby-bargain/) .
Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, , , , PayPal, WebMoney, ., QIWI , .
Karen Sandler
AN IRRESISTIBLE PROPOSALAllie Dickenson couldn't believe she was marrying her brooding boss, Lucas Taylor, the man she'd been fantasizing about for the past year. But when he proposed a temporary union in exchange for helping her with her ailing father, she couldn't say no.A FAMILY TO CALL HIS OWNLucas desperately wanted a child, and marrying his loyal secretary would get his foot in the adoption agency's door. Although the jaded millionaire swore no woman could melt his steely defenses, he found himself powerfully drawn to his beautiful brideand their sizzling night of passion resulted in a baby on the way! Could Lucas finally overcome his tormented pastor did he risk losing the love he'd always longed for?
Lucas, Ive had a change of heart. I cant marry you after all.
The facts havent changed, Allie. I still need a wife so that I can adopt a child, and you still need money.
I intend to explore other avenues for the loan. What those would be she had no idea. Im sorry I cant help you with yoursituation, but marriage is out of the question.
Resting his arms on his desk, he leaned toward her. Why?
Why? she asked herself. Why couldnt she marry him? Last night at two a.m., her bedsheets tangled around her legs from her restlessness, shed had the answers. Now it seemed none of them would hold up to his scrutiny.
Because we hardly know one another. She groped for the words. Because marriage Because marriage is far too intimate a relationship. Because it would force a false closeness on us neither one wants.
Because you kissed me.
The Bosss Baby Bargain
Karen Sandler
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
This ones for the Barbaras: Barbara McMahon, my mentor and good friend; Barbara Stier, my stepmom and biggest fan; and Barbara Williams, my mom, who no doubt keeps them hopping up in heaven.
And special thanks to Jo Cain-Stiles for helping me understand Lucas.
KAREN SANDLER
first caught the writing bug at age nine when, as a horse-crazy fourth grader, she wrote a poem about a pony named Tony. Many years of hard work later, she sold her first book (and she got that ponyalthough his name is Ben). She enjoys writing novels, short stories and screenplays and recently produced her first short film. She lives in Northern California with her husband of twenty years and two teenage boys who are busy eating her out of house and home.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Epilogue
Chapter One
Allie Dickenson paused at Lucas Taylors office door, gulping in a breath and smoothing her hair with nervous hands.
She knocked twice, waiting for his impatient, Come in! before slipping inside and shutting the door. He sat behind his desk, his dark head bent to his work, his complete focus on the papers in his hands. Breath held, spine straight, she moved to stand before him, her stomach a mass of knots.
Lucas, I need to talk to you.
He took another moment to finish scribbling a note, then looked up at her, his gray eyes narrowing. Behind him, the morning sun streaming through the window backlit his large frame, casting his face into shadow. Talk to me? About what?
She slid her hands into the side pockets of her full skirt, her fingers clenching into fists. Somethingsomewhatpersonal.
He just stared, still as a tiger stalking prey. She wished hed look awayback to the papers cluttering his desk, out the floor-to-ceiling window that formed the back wall of his office. But of course he didnt, and Allie had no choice but to meet his hard gaze.
Personal? He raised one brow. As in unrelated to your job?
Yes The word came out as a near whisper. She swallowed, took another long breath. and no.
As he fixed his gaze on her, the deep well of wishful thinking inside her imagined something in his eyes, something that set her heart to beating faster. Then his mouth tightened with annoyance. Im busy, Allie. Can you get to the point?
The knots in Allies stomach froze into a sickening weight. She forced herself to loosen her fingers, ordered her shoulders to relax. Forming the words in her mind, she imagined them marching off her tongue. I need to borrow twenty thousand dollars. But they wouldnt quite come. This is hard for me to say.
He waited for her to continue, fingers drumming. Then he picked up a pen, stroked its length with his fingertips. Forbidden thoughts arose in her mind as she followed his unconscious gesture. The brief panoply of images that emerged before she could banish them reminded her of all the reasons asking Lucas for a loan was a bad idea, no matter how desperate she was.
Is this about your last raise? he prodded. You dont think Im paying you enough?
She shook her head. No, no, its not that.
If anything, he overpaid. Since shed joined TaylorMade Foods two years ago, shed worked hard and had taken on increasing responsibility. But her last employee review had overwhelmed her with its glowing accolades. And the amount of her raise left her gasping. Once the problems with her father had started, though, she was glad for every penny.
Im probably the best paid administrative assistant in Sacramento County. She mustered a smile and his gaze sharpened on her in a way that sent heat curling inside her. In spite of herself, she looked away briefly, then back at him. But Ive had some problems recently.
Her hands had scrunched back into fists and she pressed them against her thighs. Despite the fullness of her muted floral-print skirt, he detected the motion, his gaze flicking down to her hips, then dragging back up to her face. There was a message in his gray eyes, in the sharp line of his jaw, one that reached inside her, teased her to translate it That he was her superior, that he was fourteen years older than her twenty-six years, shrank to insignificance in the face of that enticing lure.
A stunning thought flashed into her mind. Maybe these ridiculous feelings werent one-sided. Maybe Lucas felt the same way. Maybe
When he spoke, it took her a moment to understand the quiet words. Allie, are you in trouble?
She flushed, all at once mortified and relieved. Thank God he couldnt read her mind. No, she assured him. It isnt that at all. Its just
His phone jangled on his desk, forwarded from her own phone when she hadnt been there to answer it. She took a step toward his desk, reflexively reaching for the receiver.
Lucas put up a hand to stop her. Ill get it. He punched the lighted button on the phone console and lifted the receiver. Lucas Taylor.
He listened a moment, then glanced up at her. Ill have to get back to you, John. Give me two minutes. Hanging up the phone, he said to Allie, Can we finish our conversation later?
Even as she felt relief at the reprieve, she worried that waiting would only make the words harder to say. She nodded. Let me know when you have time.
You know my schedule better than I do. When do I have time?
She squelched her irritation at his abrupt tone. She thought shed learned not to react to his arrogance. It must be her unease about their conversation that had her off-balance. You have an hour after lunch.
Come back then. His gaze lowered to his papers. When she didnt turn immediately, he looked up again. Anything else?
She shook her head. No, nothing. She quickly turned on her heel and let herself out of his office, shutting the door behind her.
Crossing to her desk with two long strides, she sank into her chair. Her hands covering her face, she wondered which was the biggest messher fathers crisis or the impossible situation with her boss.
What had started as a dimly remembered erotic dream had quickly flowered into a series of daytime fantasies that she couldnt seem to stop. Shed allowed herself the indulgence at first because the fantasies distracted her from her loneliness, never mind the inappropriateness of the central figure. But her daydreams had recently taken on a life of their own, until the sexual images had drifted into decidedly unwanted emotions. Feelings for a man she truly didnt know.
She dropped her hands from her face and glanced back at the door to Lucass office. Considering the craziness of her feelings for him, shed nearly talked herself out of asking him for the loan. But where else could she go? She didnt have an asset to her name worth borrowing against. Her brother and sister were both struggling to support their own families. If they knew their fathers money was all gone, they would help her in a heartbeat. But they didnt know, and she planned to keep it that way.
Agitated, she tugged open her bottom desk drawer and pulled out a plastic bag of bread scraps. She needed to get out of the office, needed a break from the emotions churning inside her. Some time outside would give her a chance to regain a bit of calm.
Setting her phone to ring through to Lucass office, she hurried to the elevators and escape.
Lucas stared down at his telephone, his finger hovering above the keypad. The urgency of his business with his attorney, John Evans, had faded into the background the moment Allie had appeared in his office. What had once been an obsession had been bumped to second place just by her presence. Hell, he had completely forgotten hed asked John to call him this morning.
All because of Allie. Allie, who had become invaluable to him in the last two years. Allie, who had single-handedly brought order to his hectic schedule and the extensive travel his work demanded.
Allie, who in the last several months had intruded on nearly every waking thought, weaving her way into his every sensual fantasy.
He knew it wasnt right. He knew he was one inadvertent touch away from sexual harassment. Yet sometimes it was all he could do to keep himself from reaching out to test the softness of her hair, the smoothness of her cheek.
Shoving back his chair, he rose to his feet and turned to gaze out the window. Five stories below, the campus of TaylorMade Foods stretched out before him. Despite the late-summer heat of the Sacramento Valley, the rolling hills between the buildings of TaylorMades headquarters glowed a verdant green. Trees dotted the landscapevalley oak and scrub pine. At the center of the three five-story structures, like the hub of a three-spoke wheel, a pond glimmered in the midmorning sunlight.
The king of all I survey, Lucas thought darkly.
As he watched, a solitary swan skimmed across the surface of the pond. It was all histhe pond, the swan and its mate hiding somewhere in the reeds, the buildings of wood and stone and glass, the TaylorMade corporation. Hed worked hard for all of it, yet the sight of all that neatly landscaped beauty filled him with an edgy dissatisfaction.
Feeling a heaviness inside him, he turned back to the phone and stabbed out his attorneys number. When John answered, Lucas didnt waste time with preliminaries. Sorry. What did you find out?
John had known him too long to be put off by his brusqueness. The county adoption agency said no way. They wont even look at your application.
Hed expected as much, but still the news twisted his insides. He fixed his gaze on the swan below, watching its passage. He wished he had a tenth of the serenity of the graceful white bird. What about private adoption agencies?
His attorney let out a sigh before he answered. Itll be the same story there.
As the swans mate emerged from the thick cluster of reeds at the ponds edge, Lucas caught sight of someone striding across the lawn toward the water. Allie. Are you telling me its impossible?
I told you at the outset this wouldnt be easy. The agencies give top priority to married couples.
As if she were right beside him instead of a hundred yards away on the lawn below, Lucas felt heat spreading in his loins. With an effort, he returned his attention to the conversation with his attorney. I doubt many parents could give a child what I can.
John hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully. Materially, no.
Lucas heard the unspoken message, the one the usually straightforward John had danced around since Lucas had first announced his intention to adopt. With his wealth, Lucas could give a child anything he or she might desire. As for what the child might need
He watched Allie reach into the plastic bag shed brought with her and toss something out onto the pond toward the swans. The grace of her every movement drew him, set off an ache inside. What about that attorney friend of yours?
The teenage girl he represents already found placement for her baby with a young couple.
The swans approached the grassy shore in tandem, gobbling up the treats as they swam. Allie reached precariously out over the water to drop more bread scraps for the birds, then straightened to empty the last of the bag. Lucas took too much damn pleasure in watching her movements, as lithe as the swans she fed.
He turned resolutely away from the window. You said he came in contact with a number of unwed teenage mothers.
He does, John said slowly. Look, I know Ive mentioned this before and youve dismissed it outright
No, Lucas said, knowing where John was leading.
He continued doggedly, but you really ought to consider a more conventional
No.
Just because your marriage with Carol didnt work out
No. I wont marry.
There was a long silence as John seemed to digest his flat refusal. Then forget about adopting. Youre forty years old
Is it a matter of money? He couldnt help himself; he turned back to the window. But Allie had gone, no doubt back into the building. The swans drifted together across the pond. If greasing the wheels would speed the process
There arent any wheels to grease. Hell, you cant buy a child.
Self-recrimination settled inside him, sharp and bitter. This was exactly what he had feared. That despite good intentions, what was most crucial for a child was beyond his capacity to provide. John, Ive got to go. Get back to that attorney friend and get another referral.
If youll think about my suggestion.
He wouldnt, but no point in telling John that. Call me later in the week.
Slipping the phone back into its cradle, he tugged open the middle desk drawer to retrieve the bottle of antacids. He tossed three into his mouth and chewed the tart, chalky tablets with a grimace. Hed been downing far too many of the antacids, a point his doctor had made at his last checkup a couple months ago. His doctor had told him to relax, to slow down, as if that would cure what was eating away at him inside.
Women and their damn biological clocks didnt have anything on his own urgency for a child. Everything hed worked for for the last twenty years, every goal had narrowed down to a single purposeto provide for his progeny. He had amassed a fortune, more money than a man could spend in his lifetime, and everything in him insisted he pass it on to someone. No brothers or sisters, no parentsa knot twisted inside him painfullyhe had to give what he possessed to a child, a child of his own.
He didnt completely understand his own motives. As a boy, hed dreamed of wealth and riches. Hed longed for something as simple as a home of his own during the long, lonely nights spent in a strange bed at yet another foster placement. If he could save even one boy or girl from a life like his, it might begin to make up for those years of deprivation.
Or at least that was what he told himself.
He never would have let Carol go if hed felt the urgency for a son or daughter so strongly seven years ago. He would have found a way to keep her. Never mind that there was no love lost between them, he would have tied her down somehow. Hell, he might have even made her pregnant, if he could have been sure the child would inherit her genes and not his. It was just as well hed felt differently then. To have brought a child into a marriage like his and Carols would have been cruel.
He pressed his palm against the wall of glass behind his desk, gazed down on his domain. The swan and her mate had disappeared back into the reeds. The breathless stillness of late summer left the man-made pond surface mirror-smooth, forming a near-perfect oval. That was his life, a construction of perfection, from the neatly manicured lawns of the TaylorMade campus to the sleek barren lines of his home in nearby Granite Bay. From the artwork lining the walls of his home to the acres of tastefully decorated office space, he lived a perfect life.
If only his soul werent so damned empty.
Shooting the cuffs of his jacket, he checked the time on the slim gold watch on his wrist. He had a meeting scheduled in ten minutes with research and development in one of the other buildings. Then there was a lunchtime interview for a project lead position opening up soon. Then, finally, he could return to his office and resume his conversation with Allie.
Although talk was the last thing he wanted to do with her. He wanted her in his arms, pressed against his body. He wanted to bury his face in the silk of her hair, to grab a handful of her soft skirt and ease it up her legs. To inhale her beguiling scent and trail his tongue down the slender column of her throat.
Good God, what the hell was he thinking? Gritting his teeth against his bodys response to the all-too-vivid images, he slammed his chair into the well of his desk. Gathering up the papers scattered across the desk, he stuffed them into his briefcase and headed for the door.
Allie wasnt at her deskthank God for that. Lord only knew what he might do with the tantalizing images still dancing in his head. Stepping past her desk, he headed for the elevators and slapped the down button.
When the elevator door opened, he wasnt prepared for the sight of Allie inside, head bent down, arms crossed over her middle. When her head swung up and she met his gaze, the impact of the visual contact felt as physical as a punch to the gut. The eager fantasies started up again, made more real by her presence. His hungry gaze took in the picture she madeher wary green eyes, the silky dark hair brushing her shoulders, the contrast of her pale arms to the copper-colored shell top she wore. Her flowered skirt reached nearly to her ankles, but somehow it was more provocative than the shortest of minis.
The door started to close; he reached out a hand to stop it. Her gaze fell from his as color rose in her cheeks. She moved past him out of the elevator. Sorry, she said, her low voice setting off new flares inside him.
He stepped inside the elevator, keeping a hand on the door. Ill be over in R and D.
She seemed to want to look anywhere but at him. Good God, had she somehow picked up on his ridiculous middle-aged fantasies? That would be a disaster. At the least shed want to transfer into another department. At the worst she might leave TaylorMade entirely, take a position at another firm.
The elevator buzzed, cutting into his thoughts. He wished shed look up at him, so he could try to read what might be on her mind. The elevator buzzed again, so he called out, See you after lunch, then let go of the door. Just before it shut, she did look up at him, but damned if he could interpret what hed seen in that brief glimpse of her green gaze.
As he rode the elevator down, his stomach roiled with an unfamiliar anxiety. The sudden fear that Allie might leave, that his own lack of control might have driven her away dug its claws into him. When he should have been planning for the meeting ahead of him, his mind wouldnt leave that fear alone.
Was that what shed come to talk to him about this morning? That she planned to leave the company? Despite his every effort to keep his feelings hidden, had she somehow sensed his passion for her? Lord, no wonder shed seemed so skittish. She was probably afraid hed make a play for her at any moment.
He was such a damned idiot. Striding through the downstairs lobby, he gave the glass door leading to the outside a savage push. As he followed the concrete pathway leading to the next building, he ran over and over every nuance of what Allie had saidand hadnt saidthis morning.
As he did, snatches of his conversation with John interwove themselves in his mind with images of Allie, and a preposterous idea floated briefly into his consciousness. He didnt allow himself even a moments consideration before abandoning the notion. Instead he concentrated on the points he would use to counter Allies intent to leave.
Hed convince her that her impressions were wrong. That what shed sensed from him had been merely his admiration for her abilities as his admin assistant. Because that was all that really matteredher value to him as an employee. The rest was just his ill-timed lack of control, a weakness of approaching middle age.
Tugging open the door to the research and development building, he forced his attention back to his scheduled meeting. For the next hour he kept his focus there, his mind straying to thoughts of Allie no more than a half dozen times during the meeting.
When Allie returned to her desk after lunch, she found a yellow sticky note on her phone. She recognized the handwriting on it immediately as Lucass hasty scrawl.
Problem in R and D.
Have to postpone our meeting.
L.
She stared at the brief message with Lucass extravagant looping L at the bottom. Hed taken the time to write her a note? Ordinarily hed bark out a few words to whoever was nearby, leaving Allie to ask around to discover his whereabouts.
She was even more surprised when he called twenty minutes later, launching into his explanation without even a hello. The developers and marketing are at each others throat. This might take the rest of the day.
Even the sound of his voice set off a trembling inside her. Eyes shut, she held the phone to her ear and willed herself to be calm. No rush, she said, even though her fathers dilemma pressed in on her. We can try again tomorrow.
He paused, piquing her curiosity further. What about dinner? Are you free?
Dinner? Tonight? She had nothing planned, but dinner with Lucas seemed terriblyintimate. Part of her ached to say yes even as her mind warned that she would be treading into dangerous territory.
If you have a date
No, Allie said quickly. Dinner tonight would be fine. What time?
Six? Gives me a deadline for this group.
A deadline. Of course. Dinner with her gave him an excuse to call an end to what would likely be an interminable meeting. There was nothing intimate about it.
Six is fine. Ill meet you in the lobby. She pulled his calendar toward her, determined to be businesslike. What about your afternoon appointments?
What have I got?
Two meetings, another interview. She read the details from the calendar.
Attend the meetings in my place. Get Randy Sato to do the interview. Got to go.
See you But he hung up before she could get the words out.
Allie sagged back in her chair, trying to quiet the clamor inside her. This couldnt go on much longer, her feeling this way and working so closely with Lucas. She had to get over her silly schoolgirl crush. Before long, someone would notice. At the least, it would be terribly embarrassing. At the worst, she might well lose her job.
She didnt even want to think about that possibility, not with the situation with her father so dire. She had to keep a level head, for her fathers sake.
Turning to her computer, she printed off the documents she needed for the two afternoon meetings, then caught up on some correspondence. When the time for the first meeting rolled around, she had her focus back, her mind on work. Yes, she had to return to her desk twice before shed even reached the elevatoronce to get her laptop, once to retrieve the papers shed carefully printed for the meetings. And she did draw a blank on the names of two of the attendeespeople shed known for the entire two years shed worked at TaylorMade. But her dinner with Lucas didnt intrude on her thoughts at all.
Not much, anyway.
His fingers wrapped around the steering wheel of his Mercedes, Lucas glanced again at the rearview mirror. Allie was still behind him in her ten-year-old Buick, her face barely visible through the sun-gilded windshield. When hed first seen her rattletrap car, hed nearly insisted she ride with him in the Benz, just to be certain shed make it to the restaurant. But the Buick had started right up, its badly tuned engine rattling and knocking as it idled.
The Mercedess engine purred as he took the turn onto Auburn-Folsom Road toward the American River. As Allies car lagged behind him, barely making the light, Lucas mentally included company car on the list of inducements he planned to present to her tonight. Added to the package hed already put together, she couldnt possibly say no.
Nevertheless, anxiety dug away at his gut. He shouldnt have taken that damn call from his attorney just before he left the office. It was only more bad news and it had thrown him off his stride, set him to second-guessing his strategy for handling Allie. The two had nothing to do with each other, no connection whatsoever. His failure to adopt had no bearing on his ability to retain the best admin assistant TaylorMade had ever hired.
Turning into the Cliff House Restaurant parking lot, he maneuvered his silver sedan into a space, then quickly crossed to Allies car to open her door. She looked up at him, her startled green eyes a tantalizing enticement. Reaching across for her purse, she laid her fingers in his outstretched palm and rose from the car. She quickly pulled her hand free, turning to shut the car door.
Keep your damn hands off her, Taylor! He followed her into the Cliff House, maintaining a good two feet of space between them. When he stepped around her to open the restaurant door for her, he made certain he didnt rest a hand at the small of her back or brush his fingers along her arm. But his mind went wild imagining it.
It was still fairly early and the restaurant was half empty. The ma?tre d led them to a window table overlooking the American River. The setting sun glittered on the broad swath of water below, a nearly blinding display.
Lucas waited until the ma?tre d had finished fussing with menus and water glasses before he launched into his campaign. Before you say anything, I want you to know I can match any salary.
What? Her eyes widened, momentarily distracting him.
He pushed on. And I can accelerate your vesting. Four years instead of five.
Her brow furrowed. Lucas, what are you talking about?
I dont intend to let you leave the company.
What? Oh! She smiled, and his body reacted immediately to that simple curving of her lips. Im sorry.
Thinking she was apologizing because shed already made up her mind, he opened his mouth to offer another of the persuasions hed devised. But then she reached across the table to lay her hand over the back of his and his good sense fragmented in that light touch.
His teeth clenched, his jaw worked to keep himself from turning his hand on the table to clasp her fingers in his. He dug his fingertips into the white linen tablecloth until he thought he would tear holes in the sturdy fabric. His eyes on her small hand, he felt her warmth melting into his skin.
He glanced up at her, her gaze tangling with his. One moment they seemed joined by an intangible but unbreakable cord, the next she was snatching her hand away, color rising in her face. Lucas forced himself to leave his hand where it was, ignoring the chill that seemed to brush against it now that her touch was gone.
She dropped her hands to her lap, and her gaze fell to the white linen. Im not leaving the company, Lucas. She tipped her chin up. I need a loan.
He tried to understand what she was saying. A loan?
She bobbed her head. From you, Lucas. Twenty thousand dollars. Her voice faltered slightly over the amount.
She wasnt leaving! A weight seemed to lift inside him at the news. Yet his relief made him feel somehow vulnerable. He hardened that softness inside him. Why?
At first he thought she wouldnt answer. Its personal. Id rather leave it at that.
Her evasiveness made him feel justified in being harsh with her. You expect me to give you twenty thousand dollars
Her eyes burned with green fire. Not giveloan.
loan you twenty thousand without any reason?
To her credit, she kept her gaze on him. Im not in trouble, Lucas. This isnt to pay off a gambling debt run up in Tahoe or a stack of credit-card bills. But it is personal. Id hoped that in the two years Ive worked for you Id proved myself
Yes.
Her mouth hung open a moment as she absorbed what hed said. Yes? Youll loan me the money?
He gave her a clipped nod, the enormity of what was falling into place inside him nearly making him shake all over. Its a business decision, nothing more, he told himself, but still it took a good long breath for him to continue.
Ill give you the money, he said. On one condition.
She swallowed, the motion of her throat begging him to touch her there. What condition?
Marry me.
Chapter Two
Allie couldnt possibly have heard him right. She stared at his implacable face, waiting for him to continue, to clarify what hed said. But he just stared back at her, his gray eyes unfathomable.
Marry? She swallowed, shaking her head. You?
For an instant, he seemed flustered, then he gathered his usual cloak of arrogance around him. Hear me out.
He leaned back in his chair, his gaze falling a moment to the linen tablecloth. She knew that impenetrable expression, had seen it dozens of time during staff meetings or when he was in the midst of acquisition negotiations. It meant he felt fully in control of the proceedings and intended to turn circumstances exactly the way he desired.
Lucas she began, but he forestalled her with a raised hand.
Hear me out, he said again.
He lowered his hands to the edge of the table, his fingers gripping so tightly, his knuckles whitened. Allie suddenly realized he wasnt nearly as in control as shed thought.
He kept his eyes fixed on her as if it were an effort of will. For the past several months, Ive been attempting to adopt.
A baby? she asked, incredulous.
Or a young child. He cleared his throat. The county doesnt want to approve a forty-year-old single man. My attorney tells me I could even the odds considerably if I married.
He made the process sound so cut-and-dried, she might have thought he considered a child one more step in the well-thought-out business plan of his life. Yet she detected the faintest tremor in his voice, a shadow of desperation in his eyes. This from a man who remained aloof when employees brought their children into the office.
Lucas, we hardly know one another. To marry
If its sex youre worried about
Sex! Good God, she hadnt even considered the physical side of a marriage to Lucas. Despite herself, her mind raced, her heart rate keeping pace. All the fantasies shed struggled to contain surged forward.
Im not proposing a conventional marriage, Lucas continued, oblivious to her rampant thoughts. It would be strictly platonic.
The sudden rush of disappointment unsettled her. Pushing it aside, she focused on rational discussion. Why me? There must be other women, women youve dated who could play the role of wife.
They have much more complex lives than you. Theyve been married before, have children, their own homes. You have no strings.
True enough, but she felt irritation at the dismissive way he summed up her life. Allie shook her head. Strings or not, Im not interested in marriage.
Look, Lucas said, reaching across the table to take her hand. She couldnt suppress a shiver of reaction. I need a wife, you need money. Agree to marry me and we both get what we want.
His large hand covered hers, his warm palm nestling against her fingers. The warmth, the power of him seemed to sap her strength, to dissolve her will. Like her autocratic father, this man could swallow her up, diminish her.
Her own mother, a sweet and loving woman, had always seemed to shrink in stature when she was with her husband. French Dickenson barked out an order and Elizabeth complied, even if it turned her own plans upside down. Allies mother gave every ounce of her soul to the man she adored, tucking her own needs away time and again. When the cancer took hold, Elizabeths physical pain was nothing compared to the agony she had felt in defying French by dying.
Allie was not her mother. She couldnt live like that.
No. She tugged her hand free. I cant marry you.
His jaw tightened and she recognized the hard light in his gray eyes. Then I cant loan you the money.
Allie sat there, stunned. Not that he would turn her down, but that he would coerce her this way. To back her into a corner went beyond arrogance, bordered on cruelty.
You cant mean that.
I can. Its my money, Allie.
She looked around her at the half-full restaurant, at the waiter hovering nearby, out the window at the American River below them. She couldnt say yes, couldnt let herself be sucked into Lucass control. She faced him again. Then Ill get the money somewhere else.
A faint smile curved his lips. If you could have borrowed it elsewhere, you wouldnt have asked me. Im your last resort.
Of course he was right, damn him. And he surely knew how desperately she needed the money. Still, the words were impossible to drag out. If I agreed, how long would we have to stay married?
The tension in his face eased at her apparent capitulation. One year, possibly two. However long it takes to finalize the adoption. Ill have to consult my attorney.
She nodded, her head suddenly pounding. She felt as if she perched on the lip of a chasm, readying herself to leap it. Would she safely reach the other side? Or fall to be crushed on the rocks below? Then yes, she said, barely above a whisper. Ill marry you.
Triumph lit his eyestriumph and something else. Relief? Good then. Fine. He picked up his water glass to sip; she could swear his hand trembled slightly. A month enough time for you? To pack up your apartment and move to my estate?
The enormity of what shed agreed to swamped her. Move? Why cant I keep my own place?
Social services performs home visitations for prospective parents. Theyll expect husband and wife to be living together.
She imagined herself standing in the river below, the swift currents below the surface taking her feet out from under her, sweeping her away. She tried to grasp for some measure of self-control. When can you give me the money?
He gestured peremptorily to the waiter. After were married.
No, she said, grateful for the opportunity to take a stand, no matter how weak. I need the money now.
Thats acceptable. He opened the menu, effectively dismissing her now that he had her concession. Ill wire the money to your account tomorrow.
He ordered for them both, scarcely pausing to ask her approval of his choice. Shaken by what had transpired in the past several minutes, she realized she would have to strengthen her resolve if she hoped to survive thisthisagreement with Lucas with her self-esteem intact.
When her salad arrived, she dove into it, suddenly ravenous. Shed been so anxious about her upcoming discussion with Lucas, shed eaten almost nothing at lunch. Now, with a little food in her stomach, she could wrest some control back from Lucas.
Where shall we have the ceremony? she asked.
He seemed surprised by her question. The county courthouse. Or Tahoe. It doesnt matter.
She tipped her chin up stubbornly. It does to me. I want my family there. Theyd never forgive me if I didnt invite them.
It isnt a real wedding, Allie. We dont need your family there.
He was right, of course. There was no real commitment between them other than expediency. But she felt a compulsion to include her family. I need them.
No. He shook his head. I dont want this turning into a circus.
Not a circus, Lucas. Just my sister, brother and their spouses.
His gaze narrowed on her and she got the sense he was only now realizing he may have underestimated her. She felt a brief flare of satisfaction. Then he dipped his head in acquiescence. Fine. Well include your family.
She ought to be content with that victory, but she pushed on. And I want the ceremony in a church, not the courthouse.
She expected exasperation. Instead she got cold, tightly leashed anger. Not a church. The courthouse or my own backyard. I wont say the vows in a church.
The bitterness in his tone, the bleak rage in his eyes shocked her. The courthouse, then, she said softly.
Even as he retreated behind his habitual arrogant mask, Allie wondered about the true self hidden beneath the layers of control, wondered if there was anything more to Lucas Taylor than the overbearing persona he showed the world.
Maybe not. Maybe some men, like Lucas, like her own father, only knew one waypower, control, dominance. Give and take, compromise didnt exist in their universe. In all the years and all the battles with her father, Allie would have given anything for a truce. But in her fathers eyes, truce meant surrender and surrender meant defeat.
In the end, his own body had defeated him. As his lucent moments became scarcer, her father might never realize the way his daughter had sacrificed her own freedom on his behalf.
Leaning back as the waiter came to take away their salad plates, Allie felt the significance of her agreement with Lucas settle on her, a nearly unbearable weight. The delectable broiled salmon the waiter set before her a few moments later could have been sawdust for all the appeal it held for her roiling stomach. As she made a show of cutting a bite of the succulent fish, she glanced over at Lucas.
He sat motionless, looking out the window, his expression distant, his face emotionless. While she struggled to come to terms with the prospect of marriage, Lucas seemed to have already compartmentalized it as another finalized business decision. It meant no more to him than that.
Her gaze dropped to the table and saw a different story in Lucass hands. Resting on either side of his plate of swordfish, they gripped his fork and knife so fiercely she wondered if he would bend them in his agitation. Tension popped the tendons out in the backs of his hands, set his shoulders into a stiff, rigid line.
Lucas. She reached out, lightly touched his hand.
He jerked back from her, dropping the silverware. Excuse me. Tossing his napkin on the table, he rose and strode off toward the mens room.
Allie watched him go, a thousand questions whirling in her mind. She ate a few bites of her salmon, a little of the fresh broccoli beside it on the plate, all the while forcing herself to sit still and wait for Lucas.
When he returned, hed gathered his businesslike shroud around him again. We can have the ceremony at a church, if you like. He said it as if it mattered little to him, as if his vehement objection earlier had never happened. Ill leave it to you to pick the church.
He dug into his swordfish then, finishing it off methodically. No explanation of why hed left the table, no further discussion of the wedding. Allie could scarcely take another bite, he had her so off-balance.
Later, when he escorted her to her car, he opened the door for her and waited until shed climbed inside. Last Saturday in September, he said. The afternoon is fine.
She might as well have been scheduling a business trip for him. Have you considered what we should tell people at work?
He shrugged. They know how closely weve worked together the past two years. Well announce weve decided to marry. Theyll draw their own conclusions.
It might be that easy for him. Most of TaylorMades employees were too intimidated to ask Lucas any personal questions. But she had a half dozen friends at the office who would grill her mercilessly when they found out.
He gazed down at her, his expression inscrutable. Thats it, then.
She waited for him to back away, to shut the door. Instead, he bent, leaning into the car, brushing his lips against her cheek. Then his hand cupped her chin, turning her toward him. He pressed his lips to hers, softly, his lingering warmth stealing her breath.
She couldnt help herself, she kissed him back, slanting her mouth against his, raising her hand to his rough cheek. She heard a low sound in his throat, felt his fingers on her chin tighten. Then the briefest stroke of his tongue against the seam of her lips easing her mouth open. She parted her lips, ready to welcome him inside.
He straightened abruptly, backing away from her. Sorry, he rasped out before slamming her door. Rounding his car, he wrenched open his door, every movement full of anger. He waited until shed started her engine and pulled out, but he wouldnt look her way.
Her entire body shook in the aftermath of his kiss and the anger that followed it. As she navigated the streets back to her apartment, she kept a stranglehold on the steering wheel to keep from veering off the road.
Shed thought she could handle this. Shed thought she could marry Lucas and still keep her sanity. But now she realized it was entirely impossible. His kiss had brought home to her the utter lunacy of the notion.
Shed tell him tomorrow. First thing in the morning, when she walked into his office, shed tell him shed changed her mind. Shed just have to scare up another source of money.
Agitated, she missed the turn at Sunrise and had to double back. As she wended her way through the traffic, she tried to rehearse what she would say to Lucas. But despite all her efforts, her mind kept returning to the feel of his lips on hers, the strength of his hand cupping her face.
Lucas shut the front door behind him and tossed his keys on the small table in the spacious entryway. Through sheer will he kept himself from flinging his briefcase across the acres of Berber carpeting his living room. He dropped it under the table, unwilling for the moment to open it and pull out the work hed brought home.
What the hell had he done? What madness had taken control of him, had driven him to kiss Allie? What had possessed him to suggest marriage in the first place?
He slipped out of his shoes and padded across the glowing oak hardwood of the entryway to the thick living-room carpet. At the far end of the wide room with its high ceilings and expanse of windows overlooking the three-acre lake below stood a fully stocked wet bar. The housekeeper, Mrs. Vasquez, always filled the ice bucket before she left for the day. Lucas pulled down a tumbler and dropped in a handful of ice.
An array of liquor bottles crowded the shelf above. Why did he keep so much alcohol in the house when he never entertained? Some damn test he supposed. To prove he could resist what had destroyed his mother, to refute the potential in his own genetic makeup.
Resolutely, he chose a bottle of tonic water and emptied it into the tumbler. A dish of cut lime waited for him in the small refrigerator under the wet bar. After squeezing a wedge into his glass, he moved to the sofa and sagged into it.
He took a swallow of the tart tonic water then set the tumbler aside. It had all seemed so logical in the moment. He needed a wife, she needed money, just as hed said. But it was apparent from his lack of control when he walked her to his car that it had been his libido talking, not his brain.
He picked up the glass again, glided it back and forth against his brow. What now? There was really only one course of actiontell Allie hed changed his mind, that after giving the matter consideration, hed realized a marriage between them would be untenable. Hed loan her the money as hed promised and work out an arrangement to deduct payments from her paycheck.
And the solution to his problemthe complete unlikelihood that the county would relent and decide him eligible to adopt? Hed have to find another way, through private agencies or contacts made through his attorney, John. Those prospects were just as bleak for a single father and time was certainly against him. But at least he had the money to pursue that route.
Rising, he walked to the kitchen to check his answering machine. There were two messages, both from John, both since hed left his office. Without much hope, Lucas picked up his portable phone and headed out the back of the house. This side faced a grove of oak trees and the small vineyard hed had put in four years ago. Leaning against the porch rail, he speed-dialed his attorneys home number and waited for him to pick up.
After the greetings were out of the way, John cut to the chase. Did I ever introduce you to my cousin, Angela?
Lucas pressed his lips into a grim smile. I dont want you fixing me up, John.
But I think you two might hit it off, John persisted. Shes in her early thirties, absolutely gorgeous and ready to settle down. I told her about you
Not interested, John. Lucas paused, sipped his drink. Besides, Ive already made my own arrangements.
What arrangements?
His hand shaking, Lucas had to set the glass on the porch rail. His decision of a few moments before might as well have never been. Ive asked someone to marry me.
Total silence on the phone line. Lucas waited for John to muster a response. After several seconds, his attorney asked, Who?
Allie Dickenson, my admin assistant.
I had no idea there was anything between you and
There isnt, Lucas said flatly. I explained the adoption situation to Allie and she agreed to help me out.
Just like that. John sounded dubious.
Not entirely. Shes in a financial bind. I promised her some money in exchange.
It sounded so crass, laid out like that. He didnt like the negative light Allies promise to marry him shed on her.
I see, John said. And how long will yourcommitment last?
Tension tightened in Lucass stomach at Johns evasion of the word marriage. Until the adoption is finalized. I hope things will move faster with the hurdles out of the way.
Even with private adoption, that could be a year or two, John cautioned.
I told her as much. A year or two of living with Allie filled Lucas with an unexpected excitement. He paced across the porch, moving from one end of the house to the other.
Johns next statement brought him back to earth. I assume youll want a pre-nup drawn up.
A prenuptial agreement? Lucas hadnt even considered that aspect. Something in him balked at the idea of asking Allie to sign a document protecting his assets. It seemed an insult to a woman who had been nothing but honorable as long as hed known her. Is that necessary?
I highly recommend it, John said.
Lucas sighed. How soon can you have it ready?
Whens the wedding?
Last weekend in September.
Ill have it done by the end of next week.
His mind working feverishly, Lucas re-crossed the porch. Beyond him, the gnarled branches of his vineyard glowed orange in the last of the setting sun, each vine heavy with grapes, Chardonnay and Zinfandel. He had so much, surely he could spare more than the twenty thousand hed promised.
I want to include a sizeable settlement for Allie. Lucas named an amount, then immediately wondered if he should double it.
You cant be serious! John protested. Carol didnt even get that much.
There wasnt as much to give back then. Allies sacrificing one or more years of her life. Its only fair.
A thought niggled at him that it might have been fairest to simply loan her the money without the commitment of marriage. But he pushed it aside, determined to continue.
After he said his goodbyes to John, he considered calling Allie. He wanted to tell her about the pre-nup, about the additional compensation he was awarding her. He felt an urgency to cement the deal between them.
Pushing open the French doors leading back into the house, he strode to the kitchen cabinet where the phone books were kept. He could boot up his computer and get her home number from the company database, but this would be quicker. Hed found her number and was about to dial it when doubt lapped at him. Maybe he should leave her be tonight. Hed already dumped a mountain of turmoil in her lap, maybe she needed some breathing space.
He set down the phone on the counter and headed for the stairs, pausing only to grab his briefcase. But two hours later, hed accomplished none of the tasks hed brought home with him. He could think of nothing but Allies face, her lips, the taste and feel of her against his tongue. Just as he thrust aside one sensual image, another rose to take its place.
It was only lust, he told himself, and lust he could control. As long as those baser feelings didnt give way to other, more intimate, more vulnerable emotions, he would be safe.
So, as he lay in his bed courting sleep, he allowed himself the harmless fantasies. When he finally slept, the eroticism followed him into his dreams. But as morning neared, the sensual haze parted and he saw only Allies face, her soft green eyes on him, her lips curved in a smile.
When he woke, he refused to acknowledge the inexplicable ache inside him. But it clung to him, nonetheless, as he dressed, ate a hurried breakfast, drove to TaylorMade headquarters. It eased only when he walked off the elevator and saw Allie waiting for him, a tentative smile on her face.
Chapter Three
Everything had changed, Allie realized as she watched Lucas stride toward her desk. Because of their agreementbecause of their kiss. Telling him shed had second thoughts, that she no longer intended to go through with the marriage wouldnt bring things between them back the way they were before. In that one moment when his lips touched hers, the world had shuddered to a stop on its axis and had begun to spin an entirely different way.
He nodded at her as he passed, then waited at his door for her to follow. She wondered if hed read her mind, had realized she wanted to talk to him. Then she remembered this was the way they started every morning, with his appointment book, going over his day.
As she picked up the laptop computer she stored all his engagements on, she mentally placed her declaration at the top of their to-do list. She had no intention of letting this slide as she had her request for a loan. They had to clear the air immediately.
She shut the door behind her, then crossed the room to set the computer in its usual place on his desk. As it powered up, she opened her mouth to speak.
He beat her to it. I spoke to my attorney last night and this morning. There are a few details about the marriage we need to go over.
No mention of their kiss, as if it had never happened. Lucas was back in control and Allie realized he could easily steamroller her if she let him.
She stood up straighter before him. Lucas, Ive had a change of heart. I cant marry you after all.
Not a flicker of reaction in his face. He just sat down and motioned her to do the same. The facts havent changed, Allie. Your needs and mine dovetail. Ive already arranged to have the funds you requested transferred. Just give me your account number.
As she brought the visitor chair up to the desk opposite him, she tried to frame what shed rehearsed late into the night. She lowered herself into her chair, sat perched on the edge. I intend to explore other avenues for the loan. What those would be she had no idea. Im sorry I cant help you with yoursituation, but marriage is out of the question.
Resting his arms on his desk, he leaned toward her. Why?
It was barely a question, more a demand for information. Why? she asked herself. Why couldnt she marry him? Last night at 2:00 a.m., her bedsheets tangled around her legs from her restlessness, shed had the answers. Now it seemed none of them would hold up to his scrutiny.
Because we hardly know one another. She groped for the words. Because marriage Because marriage is far too intimate a relationship. Because it would force a false closeness on us neither one wants.
Because you kissed me.
Allie. He said her name so softly, almost tenderly, bringing her attention to him. His steel-gray gaze fixed on her face, his expression intent. What I did last nightit was a mistake. A ridiculous mistake. I wont repeat it. I promised you a platonic relationship. You have no reason to fear Ill overstep those bounds again.
Under his scrutiny, she could barely bring two thoughts together. Even still, Lucas
Please reconsider, Allie.
Every ounce of self-preservation within her screamed no. His promise didnt change the thread of attraction stretching between them, her secret yearning that Lucas would do exactly what hed just vowed he would not.
And yet She studied his face, the impenetrable mask he wore. His eyes were guarded, giving nothing away. But when her gaze dropped to his hands on his desk, her impressions shifted. Hed clenched his fingers together, all the tension in his body centered on the tendons and bones of his hands.
What could be going on inside him that made control so imperative? Shed always seen him as arrogant, autocratic. In the two years shed worked for him, shed had to struggle constantly to hold her own, to stand her ground. Marrying him would make that battle ten times worse.
And yet His gaze met hers unflinchingly as the grip of his hands tightened. Suddenly, her heart ached for him. And she knew, despite the sure peril ahead, what she would say.
Yes, then, she said, nodding. Well marry.
A smile flashed on his face and was gone in an instant. Tension seemed to drain from his body. Let me update you on my conversation with my attorney.
He launched into an explanation of the terms and conditions of their prenuptial agreement, his tone as impersonal as if he were discussing an upcoming corporate takeover. This was a union between a man and a woman, a joining together that should be done in love. She wished she could reach inside him somehow and shake that fierce reserve. But hed withdrawn behind his barriers, unreachable.
She knew one way to shake him. Shed seen it last night when hed leaned into her car to kiss her. He hadnt planned it, she was sure of that. Something other than his formidable mind had taken charge, pulled him to her.
What if she initiated a kiss? What if she rounded his desk right now and touched him? Slipped onto his lap, threaded her fingers into his hair and brought his mouth closer to hers? Shed gotten such a brief taste of him last night and the images had replayed themselves over and over in her mind as shed tossed and turned in bed.
Closing her eyes, she raised her hands to her heated cheeks. She couldnt let her thoughts stray like this. A chaste marriage with Lucas would be difficult enough without fantasies to distract her.
Allie, is something the matter?
Her eyes flew open to see him staring at her intently. Thank God he couldnt read her mind. Im fine. What were you saying?
The prenuptial includes a settlement for you when the marriage terminates.
Planning the ending of their marriage so cold-heartedly only heightened her misgivings. But she was committed now, no matter how wrong it felt. I dont need a settlement. Youre already loaning me the twenty thousand.
Giving, not loaning.
Im planning to pay it back.
Dont be pigheaded about this, Allie. The money is yours, free and clear as of today. The rest will compensate you for the one to two years this process could take.
Its not a process, Lucas. Its a marriage. An adoption of a childa human being. You cant keep treating this as some sort of business transaction.
His fingers wrapped more tightly around the arms of his chair, the only indication shed hit home with her comment. Youre right, of course. But I intend to give you the settlement, nonetheless.
How much? she asked warily.
Two million. He said the amount casually, as if he were only offering her a couple hundred.
Youre crazy! She leapt to her feet. Totally nuts! Thats too much, Lucas.
The hell it is.
I cant take that much. She shook her head. No way.
He crossed his arms over his chest, his expression cold. Im damn well not budging on this, Allie.
She stared at him, completely flabbergasted. This was a man shed seen go toe-to-toe with hardened businessmen, shaving millions off a deal if he felt the price was inflated. How could he justify giving her so much money?
But there was no arguing with him, at least for now. Shed have to find a way to refuse the money when the time came. She nodded her head in acquiescence.
Give me your account number, he said, moving his chair up to the desk again. Then we have to get on with the day. Whens my first meeting?
Lifting the laptop from his desk, she sank into her chair, trembling. Every time she thought she might have the upper hand, he backed her into a corner. How would she handle two years of this?
The account number is in my purse. Why dont we go through your schedule first?
He gave her a brusque nod, then she read off his commitments for the day. He told her what data he needed for his various meetings, reeling off the information with machine-gun rapidity. Somehow he seemed able to maintain his same businesslike demeanor while her hands shook on the keyboard, making one error after another as she typed.
When she finally escaped from his office to retrieve her purse, she had to give herself a moment to recover before going back inside. She sagged over her desk, leaning against it as she took a few deep breaths. Helen, who worked for one of Lucass vice presidents, gave her a sympathetic smile. Allie responded in kind, although it was a weak effort.
Helen would know soon enough, and word would pass around the company from her and the handful of others Allie would tell. For now, she was just as glad to keep the news to herself, to have a chance to accustom herself to the shock.
Her phone buzzed, startling her. It was Lucas. Probably wanted to know what was keeping her. She picked up the phone. Yes?
The account number? he snapped out.
Struggling to hold onto her patience, she pulled out her checkbook and read off the appropriate digits. Anything else?
Get on that church right away, he said.
I will.
He fell silent and Allie assumed his mind had already shifted to his days meetings. She was about to take the phone from her ear when he said, Allie?
The tentativeness of his tone surprised her. Yes?
Another long pause. Thank you.
She didnt know what shocked her morethat hed said it or that he sounded so genuinely grateful. Youre welcome. She lowered the phone back to its cradle.
She sat for a moment at her desk, trying to resolve the tumultuous feelings inside her. She was marrying Lucas Taylor, her boss. They would put on a facade of a happy marriage to allow him to adopt a child. She would be on her guard every moment against his overpowering personality, against her own inappropriate desires.
She understood the fear inside her, even the excitement. But one emotion roiling within her baffled her completely.
Joy.
After a day spent playing telephone tag with Lucas, Allie returned home with her nerves in a frazzle. Shed finally left a note on his desk about the church, giving up on actually seeing him face-to-face again that day. Now as she threw together a quick meal in the microwave, her gaze kept straying to the phone. Shed thought he might call her, to touch base, to compare notes on how the plans for their wedding were coming along. But it seemed now that he had her consent, hed relegated her to one of those myriad compartments in his brain.
She had to call her sister and brother, had already put it off too long. She just didnt relish the inevitable questions and the answers she would have to fabricate. Not to mention she might miss a call from Lucas if she tied up the line.
She dawdled through her meal, eating little of it, then hurried downstairs to the apartment complex laundry room and started a load in the washer. When she returned, she quickly checked her answering machineno message from Lucas. It was nearly eight; she couldnt put off her calls to her family any longer.
Her sister Sherrils husband answered the phone, giving Allie a few moments to compose what she planned to say. After assuring Sherril everything was fine both with her and their father, French, Allie asked, Are you sitting down?
Sherrils throaty laughter eased the tension in Allies shoulders. Lying down, actually. The babys been playing the tom-toms on my spine.
Allie blurted out the news. Im getting married.
The silence stretched out uncomfortably before Sherril finally spoke. How could you be getting married? You havent even been dating anyone. Another pause. Have you?
Allie had realized before she picked up the phone she couldnt tell her sister the truth, not if she wanted to keep the predicament of their fathers care to herself. She could only hope the lie shed concocted would sound believable.
Im marrying Lucas Taylor. My boss.
Sherril was quiet so long, Allie wondered if the connection had been broken. Finally she said, I had no idea there was anything going on between you two.
Allie forced a laugh. Neither did we. Just kind of sneaked up on us, I guess.
Wellcongratulations, then. Whens the wedding?
Allie braced herself for her sisters reaction. End of September.
What! Ill still be pregnant then, Sherril moaned. Unless this beast decides to come early like his sister did. How am I going to find a whale-sized matron of honor dress?
Allie smiled, pleased at Sherrils assumption she would be matron of honor. Im sure we can find something. Besides, this way, I have at least a hope of outshining you at the wedding.
Allie, I gave up the crown of prettiest sister to you with my first set of stretch marks. Are you having it at the church?
Yes, the minister was able to fit us in, even at such short notice. Reverend Harmon had been so delighted at her news. Even now, Allie felt a stab of guilt at the lies shed told him. The reception will be at Lucass estate.
Allie filled Sherril in on the remainder of the details, then begged her to pass on the news to their brother, Stephen. She simply didnt have the energy to spar with her brother, who still thought his baby sister needed his protection.
After she hung up the phone, Allie headed outside to the apartment complex laundry room to shift her clothes to the dryer. As she fished quarters from her pocket to start the dryer, she realized even this mundane task would change when she moved to Lucass expansive estate. No more lugging laundry down two flights of outside stairs in the winter rain or blistering summer sun. No tossing quarters into a jelly jar to have them ready for laundry day.
Would they wash their clothes together? Intermingling her life with Lucass in such an ordinary way seemed terribly intimate. It made their upcoming marriage somehow more real, more valid.
Rattled by the notion, Allie left her clothes tumbling in the dryer and returned to her apartment. The flashing light on her answering machine sent her heart into overdrivehad Lucas called her after all? But it was only her brother Stephen, demanding she call him back tonight.
The last thing she needed was Stephen and his lectures. Shed committed herself to Lucas, to their marriage. Her brothers haranguing would only heighten her doubts.
Flipping on the TV, she watched a mindless cop show as she waited for her laundry to finish. Lucas never did call, but Stephen did, twice more. Allie resolutely ignored him each time.
With morning light spilling into his office, Lucas paced in agitation. In the week since hed proposed marriage to Allie, he still hadnt regained his focus. Each day his preoccupation with his admin assistant grew until it had become a nearly unmanageable obsession.
When he first arrived in the mornings he was barely able to pass her desk without touching her, without threading his fingers through her hair and tipping her head up to kiss her. He could hardly make it through their morning reviews, the urgency to round the desk and pull her into his arms so overwhelmed him. Sometimes her gaze met his as they worked together and he could see the wariness in her eyes. She had to sense his attraction for her.
His only recourse was to rush her through the recitation of his schedule, to hurry her out of his office. But her absence seemed to tantalize him more than her presence. Just the thought of her expressive green eyes set off a throbbing low in his body, a response he couldnt seem to control. Fantasies played themselves out in his mindof him calling Allie into his office, tugging the dove-gray sleeveless shirt she wore today from the matching skirt, slipping his hand under it to cup her breast. Then lifting her to the desk, parting her legs and
Damn, he had to get himself under control. He strode behind his desk and forced himself to sit. Locking his fingers together, he gripped them tightly on his desk.
If he couldnt keep his hands off her in these weeks before their wedding, how the hell would he do it once they were married? Once they were sharing his home, he wouldnt have a prayer if he didnt keep his rampant desires in line now. And he damn well intended to keep that promise.
Lucas dragged in a long breath and let it out. Most of the women he knew looked at sex the way he dida necessary physical release. No messy emotions to get in the way. But Alliestill young and idealistic and full of hopeshe might think physical intimacy meant more than it did. And the last thing he needed was Allie believing she was in love with him.
Unclenching his hands, he lifted a small Post-it square from the left side of his desk and repositioned it on the right. The note had been there all week, a glaring reminder of the upcoming wedding. On the pale-yellow square of paper, Allie had written down the name of the Methodist church in Fair Oaks and the time and date of the ceremony. Reverend Frank Harmon, shed penned across the bottom of the note, the neat flowing loops of her script as feminine as the woman who wrote them.
A knock on his office door sent tension zinging up his spine. He dragged a folder to the center of his desk and opened it, dipping his head down to the stack of papers he should have been reviewing. Enter.
Allie slipped inside, shutting the door behind her. As she crossed the office, her soft skirt rippled around her, shaping itself to the curves of her body. Could we talk? The faintest trace of irritation colored her tone.
He closed the folder with precise care. Certainly.
She stood before his desk, shoulders thrown back. You might be able to see our marriage as a cold-blooded business deal, but I cant. Even though were not marrying for love, were going to live together for the next two years. We ought to get to know each other better.
He struggled to focus on what she was saying, distracted by the way the late-morning sun lit her slender form. Would her skin feel warmer under that yellow glow? He shook off the image. What do you want, Allie?
I want you to stop avoiding me.
I havent been avoiding you.
She just stared at him a moment, her expression telling him she knew a snow job when she heard one. I want to spend some time with you, Lucas. I want a chance to get to know you a little better before the wedding.
It wasnt an unreasonable request, if you ignored the heat rippling through his body that urged him to get to know her much, much better. More time spent with her meant an even greater trial for his libido. But hell, he was a grown man. He ought to be able to give Allie what she wanted without breaking his promise of a platonic relationship.
She stood there, watching him, no doubt preparing her next argument if he turned her down. Lord, she was a hell of a fighter.
What am I doing for lunch? he asked her.
The question caught her off guard. She glanced around her as if seeking her laptop. No meetings scheduled.
I have one now, he said. With you.
Her brilliant smile cut straight to his heart, setting off a flurry of unfamiliar emotions. Before he could catch his balance again, shed moved around his desk and bent to put her arm around his shoulders. Thank you, she murmured in his ear.
The warmth of her breath teased him, the nearness of her crumbled his good intentions. Before she could straighten, hed curved his hands around her face, brought her mouth to his.
His fingers dove into her silky black hair, the softness against his skin a sweet torment. He brushed his mouth against hers, telling himself with each light touch to back off, to push her away. But when hed kissed her a week ago, hed had only the briefest taste. The memory of it had haunted him every night, stealing his sleep, infiltrating his dreams.
And he had to have more.
Chapter Four
Allie never should have touched him. In her delight over sharing lunch with Lucas, shed let impulse take control. Now with him so near, with his breath fanning across her face as he stroked her lips with his, the snare of his passion wound around her.
She had to pull away. She took a step back to do just that when Lucass mouth drifted from her lips, along her jaw to nuzzle in her ear. She swallowed back a moan, her pleasure easing out in a sigh instead. The hand hed buried in her hair moved restlessly, its random pattern electric and breath-stealing.
Her own hands took their cue from him, gliding along the stiff shoulders of his jacket to the warm column of his throat. She wanted to ease her fingertips into his hair, explore his sensitive scalp as he did hers. She wanted to do moreto shift to stand in the V of his legs, to press her aching breasts against his chest.
She was lost. With so little effort, Lucas had taken over. And yet she had only to take another step back, to straighten and tug herself away and he would let her go. He had to let her go.
Drawing in a trembling breath, Allie struggled to regain her strength, her will. She slid her hands from Lucass throat, pressed her palms against his shoulders. The instant he felt the pressure of her hands against him, he released her so that she nearly stumbled as she backed away.
He sprang from his chair, turning away from her. Facing the window, he pressed both palms against the glass, arms stiff with tension. Hell.
She heard a tremor in the softly spoken word. Raising a shaky hand, she smoothed her hair from her face. Im sorry.
His head swiveled toward her, his eyes blazing. What the devil do you have to be sorry for?
Because I Her stomach knotted, cutting off the words. She took a breath. I shouldnt have touched you.
For a long moment, he just stared at her. Then he pushed away from the window. No you shouldnt. Because I damn well cant seem to control Stabbing his fingers through his thick dark hair in agitation, he raised his gaze to hers. Im the one who should apologize. You did nothing wrong. I took advantagehell.
Shed seen Lucas angry, seen him throw on a cloak of intimidation that drove fear into the hearts of his adversaries, but shed never seen him this wayflustered, uncertain, off-balance. His unsettling vulnerability set off a chord inside Allie, an unexpected tenderness.
Which sent her thoughts marching in a perilous direction. She edged away from him, headed for the door. She could feel his eyes on her every step, but couldnt quite meet his gaze. Is lunch stilldo you still want to?
When are my appointments finished?
Twelve-thirty. She chanced a quick glance at him. The softness shed seen before in him had gone, replaced by his usual icy calm.
Twelve-thirty, then.
He retrieved his chair and lowered himself into it. She reached for the door.
Allie.
The gentleness of his tone drew her back around. Arms across her middle, she faced him. Something flickered in his eyes, emotions that seemed to struggle to the surface before sinking again into the mystery that was Lucas Taylor.
He dropped his gaze, shuffled papers into the file folder on his desk. Ill need that production cost spreadsheet for the eleven oclock sales meeting.
Hed shut himself off again, reverting to the businessman. He so easily suppressed the emotions that still had her in turmoil.
Irritation gnawed at her. How many copies? she snapped out.
Ten should do it.
He still kept his gaze fixed on the file folder as if it revealed some crucial secret. Despite the bland neutrality of his expression, tension gripped him, holding him so tightly Allies heart ached for him.
Her irritation faded away. Ill have them ready for you in ten minutes.
She slipped from his office, moved to sit at her desk. As she connected her laptop with her desktop computer, she tried to untangle the confusion inside her. But when it came to Lucas Taylor, nothing was simple.
With a sigh, Allie brought up the spreadsheet program and with an effort of will, threw herself into her work.
At exactly twelve-thirty, Lucas returned from the sales meeting and strode to her desk. Lets go, he demanded.
In the process of transferring figures from the quarterly marketing report to a spreadsheet, Lucass command splintered Allies hard-won concentration. She pressed the wrong key and deleted the last hours work. Damn!
She glared up at Lucas, then quickly clicked the Undo command. Banging at the keyboard, she saved her work and set her laptop on standby. With an angry jerk she pulled open her desk drawer and grabbed her purse.
She seethed silently in the elevator. He seemed oblivious to her anger. When they reached the ground floor, he laid his hand lightly at the small of her back and guided her through the lobby.
Well visit my jeweler after lunch. He opened the lobby door for her, stepping aside to let her go first. We havent selected rings yet. Id rather have you there since I dont know your preferences.
The midday heat scorched her in the first few steps outside the buildings air-conditioned comfort. She couldnt hold in her agitation an instant longer. Whirling to stand in his path, she stopped his forward progress.
My preference is that you treat me with a modicum of respect and courtesy. My preference is that you remember Im not a serf you can order to do your bidding.
He gazed down at her, his expression baffled. What are you talking about?
She clenched her jaw and looked away a moment to gather her patience, then she returned her gaze to his. If you hadnt noticed, I was working in there, doing your work as a matter of fact. In the time Ive been employed by you Ive put up with your arrogance because you were my boss.
She pointed a finger at him, prodded him in the chest for emphasis. Youre still my boss. But if we go through with this crazy idea of a marriage, I want you to ask politely, not bark out an order.
Before she could take another breath, his hand flew up to capture hers. He held it against his chest, his lips thinning with what looked like the genesis of anger. For an instant, he was her father, his rage at her impertinence a storm brewing inside him. It had happened every time shed stood up to him, asserted herself as an individual. And even knowing this was Lucas, not her father, she couldnt help the first tendrils of insecurity winding around her stomach.
Even as she tensed for the anticipated explosion, his mouth relaxed, his lips softening and curving into a faint smile. Im sorry, he said, his thumb moving against the back of her hand. Im too much a creature of habit.
Relief flooded her, even as her body responded to the stroking of his thumb, to his gaze fixed briefly on her mouth. She supposed she should pull her hand away, but it felt so pleasant enfolded in his, resting lightly against his chest. Hed worn a pale-gray shirt today and she imagined gliding her palm along the crisp smoothness, shaping the musculature underneath.
Thank you, she said, not sure what she was thanking him for. The sun beat down on them, rivaling the heat Lucass touch had set off in her. I guess we should go.
She thought he would release her hand, but he kept it in his, interlacing his fingers with hers. Her bare arm rubbed against the sleeve of his suit jacket as he kept pace with her.
Up ahead the parking lot steamed in the brilliant sunlight. When they reached his silver Mercedes, he paused before pulling out his keys, raised her hand again to his chest. Its been a long time since Ive held a womans hand.
His comment startled her. She knew he hadnt been without a woman for long; hed been dating someone as recently as late spring. The woman had come into the office a half dozen times, a tall edgy blonde who apparently owned a high-power consulting firm in downtown Sacramento. Allie tried to remember if shed ever seen Lucas holding the womans hand. She could only recall the blondes stunning looks, how striking a couple she and Lucas had made.
Yet another puzzle piece that didnt seem to fit. Lucas brushed his lips against her knuckles, sending a tremor through her, then let go to fish the car keys out of his pocket. He opened the passenger-side door, helping her in before rounding the car to the drivers side.
As they pulled out of the lot, Allie remembered what Lucas had said about the jeweler. We dont need rings, she told him.
He didnt even look her way, just glanced at the rearview mirror as he merged into traffic on Douglas Boulevard. Were getting rings.
Ill just have to return mine when weafter.
Youll keep it.
Along with that ridiculous amount of money he was insisting she take. Then well just get plain bands. Something inexpensive.
Brow arched, he shot his gaze her way, then returned his attention to his driving. Allie sighed, realizing he might have agreed to treat her with courtesy, but it wouldnt change his attempts to run her life. Shed have to be constantly vigilant, or he might smother her very identity as her father had done for all those years.
Lucas saw the surprise in Allies face when they pulled up to the tiny Mexican restaurant hed decided on for lunch. Shed expected something pricey and upscale, more like the Cliff House where theyd dined the night hed proposed to her. Cocina Caldera was nearly a hole-in-the-wall by comparison, but the food was good, the service excellent. That he had a connection to the owner, Teresa Caldera, that he felt a certain comfort here he felt nowhere else was immaterial.
When they stepped inside the packed restaurant, Teresa Caldera and her daughter Inez greeted Lucas by name as they hurried by with steaming plates. As he and Allie waited for a table, Lucas shifted uneasily, wondering what Allie thought of the place, wondering if by being here he somehow revealed too much of his past.
Suddenly anxious to leave, he said, Its too crowded. Well try somewhere else.
She smiled up at him. Im not in any hurry. This place smells wonderful.
By now theyd edged their way up to the cash register where Teresa rang up a sale. The stout woman, her dark hair threaded with gray, grinned up at him. Hola, guapo, ?Cmo ests?
Bien, he replied in automatic response to the familiar greeting.
Teresa gave Allie a pointed look, and Lucas felt suddenly awkward, like a teenager introducing his girlfriend to his parents for the first time. This was the only time hed brought anyone but a business associate to the restaurant.
This is Alison Dickenson, my administrative assistant. Allie, this is Teresa Caldera.
The two women shook hands, then Teresa rushed off to pick up another order. Inez came to seat them and Lucas sank into the booth in relief.
As they scanned their menus, the crowd thinned out and the din quieted. Lucas could feel Allies gaze on him. He raised his eyes to hers.
What?
She shrugged. You didnt introduce me as your fiance.
Of course shed noticed. It slipped my mind.
She eyed him in frank disbelief. Nothing slips your mind, Lucas.
Teresa would have made a big deal over it. I didnt want her fussing.
You must know her well to have her fuss over you like that.
Damn Allie and her observant nature. I eat here often, Lucas said evenly as the plastic edges of the menu bit into his palms. Teresa has a way of making her regulars family.
Lucas could see she wanted to push the issue of Teresa. He set the menu down. Are you ready to order? Without waiting for her to answer, he signaled Inez.
Out of habit, he ordered in Spanish and Inez joked about his atrocious accent as she always did. She insisted he introduce Allie, her dark brow rising when he described Allie as his good friend. No doubt Inez would be comparing notes with Teresa back in the kitchen.
The questions seemed to pile up in Allies green eyes. While they waited for their food, Lucas kept Allie busy with questions about work, querying her about when shed have the month-end reports ready.
When Inez brought their lunch, Lucas dove into his fajitas, focusing on piling strips of beef, red pepper and onion onto the flour tortillas. From the corner of his eye he could see Allie watching him.
Is there something wrong with your mol? he asked. We can send it back.
The mol is fine, Allie said. But were kind of defeating the purpose here. The whole point to having lunch together was to get to know each other. We never will if we keep talking about work.
He set down his fork. What do you want to know?
She smiled at him across the table. Id just like to learn a little more about you.
Wariness crept into the pit of his stomach. Like what?
Where you grew up, where your parents live, if you have brothers and sisters.
Such ordinary questions, easy enough for most people to answer. But for him, they opened a can of worms he had no intention of opening. I grew up in the Sacramento area. I have no brothers and sisters. My parents are dead.
He could see the sympathy in her face. Im sorry. How long have they been gone?
A long time. To cut short her inquiry, he turned the question around to her. What about your family?
A brother and a sister. Both married, both have kids. I have four nieces and nephews with another on the way. My mom She looked away a moment, and grief flashed across her face. She died a few years ago. My dadhe lives in Reno.
French Dickenson, right? Forbes did quite a write-up on him, whatten years ago?
Twelve. Her gaze dropped to her plate and she ran the tines of her fork through the thick mol sauce. He was very proud of that article.
The motion of Allies wrist as it bent and straightened, bent and straightened, snagged Lucass attention. He could imagine that same mesmerizing movement against his own body. Shaking the image off, he asked, Is he still running Postal Express?
Her hand froze. She kept her eyes on her plate. No. Hes retired.
Lucas could see something in her face. Sorrow? Regret? He wanted to reach across the table, lay a soothing hand against her cheek. He squelched the impulse. Will he be coming to the wedding?
Now she did look up at him, eyes wide. No! She smiled, gesturing with her hand as if to take away the vehemence of her denial. Traveling is difficult for him. Hes not in the best of health. Sherril, Stephen and I visit him on Sundays.
Now it was his turn to be curious. He tried to remember what he might have read in the business-trade magazines about French Dickensons retirement. If there had been mention, it must have been small enough to have passed his notice.
Ill meet him later, then, Lucas said.
She nodded, then bent her head to her lunch. She pushed more of it around on her plate than she actually ate. By the time Inez came to bring the check, Allie had slid the nearly full plate aside.
She laced her fingers together and rested them on the table, tipped her head up to him. So you wont have anyone to invite to the wedding. No family, I mean.
Across the room, Teresa stood at the register. She smiled broadly, speculation clear in her lined face as she watched him with Allie. There were people he could inviteTeresa, her brother Guillermo, Inez. Until this moment it hadnt crossed his mind. Until this moment, it hadnt occurred to him how hurt Teresa would be to be excluded. Hed gone off to Tahoe to wed Carol and Teresa still nursed that pain. It had been enough of a disappointment that his chosen bride hadnt been Inez.
Yet, by inviting the Calderas, Lucas risked opening a door to his past hed long ago nailed shut. How would he explain to Allie what Teresa and Guillermo were to him without telling her the rest? Only by flat lies which his foster mother would never be party to.
Damn, he never should have brought Allie to Cocina Caldera. What had he been thinking?
Glancing at the check, Lucas tossed down a twenty and rose abruptly to his feet. The jewelers expecting us.
He put out his hand to help Allie from her seat, conscious all the time of Teresas eyes on him. As he followed Allie from the restaurant, he waved to Teresa and Inez, glad to escape from their scrutiny.
Allie looked thoughtful as she sat beside him in the Benz, as if she was considering all the evidence and waited for it to click into place. The leather-wrapped steering wheel went slick with the sweat of his palms.
.
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Karen Sandler
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: AN IRRESISTIBLE PROPOSALAllie Dickenson couldn′t believe she was marrying her brooding boss, Lucas Taylor, the man she′d been fantasizing about for the past year. But when he proposed a temporary union in exchange for helping her with her ailing father, she couldn′t say no….A FAMILY TO CALL HIS OWNLucas desperately wanted a child, and marrying his loyal secretary would get his foot in the adoption agency′s door. Although the jaded millionaire swore no woman could melt his steely defenses, he found himself powerfully drawn to his beautiful bride–and their sizzling night of passion resulted in a baby on the way! Could Lucas finally overcome his tormented past…or did he risk losing the love he′d always longed for?