Adam's Daughter
Jennifer Taylor
The doctor’s secret childNurse Elizabeth Campbell had promised her sister she would never reveal her baby’s identity to its father. But now Beth has Hannah in her care and the child is in need of her father’s help. Beth knows she must find him.Dr. Adam Knight is furious that no one told him he had a daughter, and he’s determined to be involved in Hannah’s life. But he’ll also be in Beth’s life – fueling their unexpected attraction. An attraction that Beth wants to resist because she fears that Adam’s real feelings are not for herself – but her sister!
“I want to see Hannah. I’ve missed the first six years of her life, so I think I have the right to do that.”
“All right. But I want you to understand that Hannah doesn’t know anything about you. Claire…well, Claire decided that it was better not to tell her in the circumstances.”
“And you agreed to keep the secret, didn’t you?” He smiled thinly. “You and Claire erased me from Hannah’s life–but the situation is going to change from here on, believe me.”
“What do you mean?”
“That I intend to make up for all those lost years. Hannah needs a father. She needs me in more ways than you ever realized!”
He had a right to be angry, a right even to blame her for keeping her promise to Claire, but did he have the right to disrupt Hannah’s life? Could she really trust him not to break her precious niece’s heart?
Could she trust him not to break her own heart, as well?
Dear Reader (#u45153ebd-5bf6-5645-8daa-83303f8fa1fc),
It is always a pleasure to write a miniseries because it means that I get the chance to spend extra time with characters that I have grown to love during the course of telling their story. Beth, Adam and little Hannah, who appear in the first book in my new series, became particularly dear to me, so it was lovely to know that I would be able to catch up with what was happening at a later date!
Set in Cheshire, in northwest England, Adam’s Daughter tells the story of two people who are brought together by their love for a very sick little girl. Helping Hannah means that both Beth and Adam must make some life-changing decisions, but I hope you will feel, as I did by the end of the book, that they have made the right choices.
Look out for the second book in the series and see how well everything is turning out for them.
Best wishes,
Adam’s Daughter
Jennifer Taylor
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
Cover (#ue058a08f-c05b-5f55-8d33-0cc25a558ca5)
Dear Reader (#u625c002c-95f6-5058-aa73-4664b9932e19)
Title Page (#u25d09ee1-972a-521c-be74-4e2ab00eed92)
CHAPTER ONE (#u96348826-0887-5948-8bf6-dadf7c5ce363)
CHAPTER TWO (#uf01850d7-6d1c-5c2a-8b9d-81b37220b84c)
CHAPTER THREE (#u83d167be-6997-5847-9d38-3a97e723ee48)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#u45153ebd-5bf6-5645-8daa-83303f8fa1fc)
ELIZABETH CAMPBELL was about to break the most solemn vow she had ever made. It was little wonder that her hands were shaking as she reached for the telephone. Seven years ago she had promised her sister, Claire, that she would never try to contact Adam Knight under any circumstances. Even though she’d had misgivings about the decision Claire had made, Beth had kept her word.
Until now.
Her deep green eyes were shadowed as she dialled the number. It had taken her some time to track him down. At one point she had feared that she would never find him and then late last night, as she had been going through some of Claire’s old diaries, she had found his phone number. She knew that the likelihood of her being able to reach him on it after all these years was very slim, but it was the only lead she had.
The problem was that Claire had told her very little about Adam Knight. All Beth knew was that her sister had met him at a hospital in London where she had been doing her pre-registration training.
Claire had been typically honest about their relationship. She hadn’t tried to pretend that Adam had been the love of her life. They’d had a brief affair then they’d gone their separate ways. When Claire had written to him a few months later he hadn’t replied, so it was hardly surprising that Beth found herself beset by doubts once again when she heard the phone ringing.
Even if she did manage to contact Adam Knight, what right did she have to ask him for help? Surely he had made it clear all those years ago that he wasn’t interested?
‘Yes?’
The voice that answered was deep, male and heavily laced with impatience. It only served to make Beth feel even more nervous so that she found herself stammering. ‘I—I’d like to s-speak to Adam Knight if he’s available, please.’
‘Speaking. However, I was just on my way out and I don’t have the time to hang about. I can give you thirty seconds and that’s it.’
‘Oh, I see. Maybe I should phone back later,’ she began, stunned that she had found him at last. She certainly didn’t want to make a mess of things by blurting out the reason why she was phoning.
‘That sounds like a good idea,’ he said, briskly interrupting her. ‘If I’m not in then leave your number on the machine and I’ll get back to you at some point. OK?’
He hung up before she could reply. Beth slowly replaced the receiver then took a deep breath. Hardly the most auspicious of starts! If that was an indication of Adam Knight’s character then she might have to rethink her plans. He hadn’t sounded like the kind of man who would put himself out for anyone, but she’d already suspected that.
It was a worrying thought but she tried not to dwell on it as she got ready for work. She had been working at Winton Surgery for almost a month now and she loved her new job. She had been desperate to leave St Jude’s so she’d applied for the post of practice nurse at the busy Cheshire surgery as soon as she’d seen the advertisement. The fact that a self-contained flat over the surgery had come with the job had been an added bonus.
The price of accommodation in the town was horrendous and she doubted whether she would have been able to afford more than a bedsit on her salary. Now, as she finished pinning up her shoulder-length, red-gold hair and looked around the sunlit bedroom, she gave a little sigh of relief. At least she had somewhere decent for them to live when Hannah came home…
If Hannah came home, a small voice reminded her chillingly.
Beth’s eyes were sad as she picked up the photograph of her niece from the bedside table. The picture had been taken the previous year and Hannah looked so happy in it. She had been wearing a new dress at the time—bright blue cotton with big yellow daisies printed all over it—and she had looked so adorable with her mass of black curls and sparkling blue eyes.
It was hard to look at the photograph and realise how different the child looked now, but it helped to firm Beth’s resolve. She had been right to contact Adam Knight. She would phone him again as soon as she finished work, only this time she would make sure that he found the time to listen to what she had to say!
Beth left the flat and went down to the surgery. It was barely eight but she wasn’t surprised when she found Christopher Andrews, the junior partner, already at his desk. There had been a bit of a crisis the previous week when the senior partner, Jonathan Wright, had been rushed into hospital for emergency heart bypass surgery. Nobody had suspected that Jonathan had been ill because he had always seemed so full of life.
Beth had grown to admire the older doctor in the few weeks she had been working at the surgery, and had been saddened when he had been taken ill. Now she tapped on Chris’s door to see if he had any news about how Jonathan was faring.
‘What’s the latest on Jonathan?’ she asked when Chris beckoned her into the room. Chris was in his late thirties, unmarried and, according to Eileen Marshall, their receptionist, totally dedicated to his job. However, she couldn’t help noticing how tired he looked that day.
‘As well as can be expected was what I was told this morning when I phoned the hospital.’ Chris sighed as he tossed his spectacles onto the desk and rubbed his eyes. ‘Which could mean anything, couldn’t it?’
‘Hospital-speak for mind your own business,’ Beth teased. ‘I have to confess to using that very same phrase myself when I was on the coronary care unit.’
‘I’d forgotten that you worked there,’ Chris said, frowning. ‘It feels as though you’ve been here for ever, to be honest. You’ve fitted in so well that I can’t believe that you’ve worked here for only a few weeks.’
‘Coming up to a month now,’ she said, smiling at the compliment. ‘I’m almost a fully fledged member of the Winton team. Just two more weeks to go and hopefully I should get my wings!’
‘I think you can forget about being here on a trial basis. Jonathan was saying last week how pleased he is with your work.’ Chris sighed again. ‘I only hope that I won’t let him down. It’s going to be tough keeping on top of this job, especially when Jonathan is such a hard act to follow.’
‘Surely you’re going to need help?’ Beth said, frowning at the thought of Chris trying to cope on his own. The surgery was extremely busy and she couldn’t imagine him keeping up with all the work by himself.
‘I certainly am. I’m not Superman and I don’t mind admitting it! Fortunately, I believe reinforcements are on the way. When I last spoke to Mary, she told me that she had contacted her nephew and that he was flying home. Evidently, he has offered to cover until Jonathan is better.’
‘I didn’t know Jonathan and Mary had a nephew who’s a doctor,’ Beth exclaimed.
‘It’s been a while since he’s been back to England,’ Chris explained. ‘He’s been working for the WHO in Rwanda and before that he was in India, I believe. I met him only briefly when I first came here but we got on extremely well. He’s a nice chap, takes after Jonathan in that he’s totally committed to his work.’
‘He’d have to be if he’s been doing aid work on a long-term basis,’ she observed. ‘It takes a certain type of person to cope with that kind of work.’
‘It certainly does. It will be a big change for him, working here, but I’m delighted to know that I won’t be on my own for very much longer. It’s busy enough here even when we’re fully staffed!’
The words turned out to be prophetic because it was one of the busiest mornings Beth could recall since she had started at the surgery. Although she had enjoyed her job at St Jude’s, the sheer diversity of the work she did at the surgery meant that there was always something new to deal with each day, and that day was no exception.
She smiled to herself as she finished cleaning a particularly bad graze on a four-year-old’s knee. So far that morning she’d supervised a teenager who was learning to inject himself with insulin, treated a nasty ulcer on an octogenarian’s leg and taken copious amounts of blood for various tests. There was never a dull moment in general practice, it seemed!
‘Now, can you be a really brave boy and sit on the couch while I check that there’s no more gravel in your knee?’ she asked, smiling at little Michael Thomas, who had been brought into the surgery by his anxious grandmother after tripping over in the park.
Michael stared solemnly at her, tears still sparkling on his thick blond lashes. He’d been sobbing his heart out when he’d been brought into Beth’s room but he’d quietened down under her gentle ministrations. He gave a hesitant nod and she smiled reassuringly as she lifted him onto the couch.
‘What a brave boy you are!’ She turned to Mrs Thomas, his grandmother. ‘I think I’ve got all the gravel out but I just want to make certain before I put a dressing on Michael’s knee.’
‘That’s why I thought I should bring him here,’ the older lady explained. ‘My eyes aren’t as good as they used to be and I was afraid that I might not see all the little bits of dirt. It’s such a nasty cut, isn’t it? I only took my eyes off him for a second, too.’
‘You can’t watch a child all the time,’ Beth consoled her. ‘At this age they are always getting into mischief.’ She took a big magnifying glass from a drawer and showed it to Michael. ‘I’m going to use this to look through. It will help me see if there’s any more dirt in that cut.’
She held up the magnifying glass so that he could see through it and smiled when he chuckled at the distorted image of her face. He seemed more fascinated than afraid when she carefully examined his knee with the help of the glass.
‘Me see, me see!’ he demanded, leaning forward and threatening to topple off the couch in his eagerness to have a look.
Beth quickly steadied him then held the magnifying glass so that he could get a good view of the cut. ‘Can you see any more gravel in it, Michael?’ she asked, and he shook his head importantly.
‘No. All gone.’
‘Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. Now, sit back while I put a dressing over that poor knee. I’m sure Granny doesn’t want to have to take you home with a sore knee and a sore head if you fall off the couch.’
Mrs Thomas laughed. ‘I certainly don’t! My daughter-in-law won’t trust me to take him out again if I return him home looking like one of the walking wounded!’ She lowered her voice conspiratorially. ‘Actually, I think Diane was trying to get me out of the way and that’s why she suggested I take Michael to the park. It’s my seventieth birthday soon and I think Diane and Robert, my son, are planning a surprise for me.’
‘We’re having a party, Granny,’ Michael piped up. ‘Only Mummy said that it’s a secret.’
Beth laughed. ‘Not any longer it isn’t!’
Now that she was sure that the cut was clean, she covered it with some antiseptic-impregnated gauze then added a large adhesive dressing printed with cartoon characters.
Michael was entranced by the dressing. Beth chuckled as she followed him out to Reception and watched him leaving the surgery, bent almost double so that he could look at his knee.
‘One more satisfied customer, wouldn’t you agree?’ she said to Eileen behind the desk.
‘I certainly would. If only they were all so easy to please…Well, look who’s here! Where did you spring from, stranger?’
Beth looked round to see who the receptionist was speaking to and felt a frisson run down her spine when she saw the tall, dark haired man who had just entered the surgery. He was handsome enough to have warranted a second or even a third look but it wasn’t that which kept her staring at him. There was just something strangely familiar about him, yet she knew for a fact that they had never met.
‘I arrived late last night—very late, in fact!’ He gave a deep chuckle as the middle-aged receptionist rushed round the desk and gave him a hug. ‘But it was worth it to be on the receiving end of a greeting like that! It’s good to see you Eileen. You’re looking great.’
Beth felt another ripple run through her. Not only did he look familiar, he sounded familiar, too! But where on earth had she heard that voice before?
She reran the mellifluous tones through her head but she couldn’t place them. She was still trying to pin down the elusive memory when the man turned towards her and Beth saw a frown cross his handsome face.
‘I know this must sound crazy but have we met?’ He stared at her then shrugged. ‘You look so familiar but I can’t for the life of me recall where I’ve seen you before.’
‘You’ll have to do better than that!’ Eileen laughed as she linked her arm through his and led him to the desk. ‘You don’t honestly think that Beth is going to fall for that old line? It’s got whiskers on it!’
‘I’m out of practice. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!’
He chuckled softly as he reached Beth, his dark blue eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled at her. Now that he was standing in front of her she could tell that he must be at least six feet tall, with broad shoulders and a powerful chest tapering down to slim hips and incredibly long legs. He was casually dressed in khaki chinos and a matching shirt, and although the clothes were clean they were very creased.
Beth had a strong impression of a man to whom material possessions meant very little. Everything he was wearing was functional but basic, from his clothes to the inexpensive watch strapped to his broad wrist by means of a plain leather band. Whoever he was, he certainly didn’t feel the need to impress people by his appearance, she decided, surprised by the speed with which she had made such a judgement.
‘OK, then, I’ll try again—but this is for Eileen’s benefit, mind you. I know better than to fall out with the one woman around here who knows how to make a decent cup of coffee.’ He held out his hand and for some reason Beth found herself obediently taking it.
‘Of all the surgeries in all the towns in all the world, I have to run into you here.’ He grinned engagingly at her. ‘Now, if you could just tell me who you are and put me out of my misery I shall be eternally grateful. If we have met before then I apologise for not remembering where and when. Jet lag does tend to liquidise the brain cells, I’m afraid.’
‘I don’t believe that we have met,’ she replied, laughing at his rueful expression. ‘Although I have to confess that I had a feeling that I’d seen you somewhere before when you walked in.’
‘Maybe we met in another life,’ he suggested lightly. However, she wasn’t blind to the frown which had crossed his face while she’d been speaking.
The telephone rang and Eileen regretfully excused herself to answer it. It was obvious that the receptionist was intrigued by what was happening but Beth decided that it might be better to call a halt. She had work to do and that had to come first, pleasant though this interlude had been.
‘Who knows?’ she replied with a smile as she started to withdraw her hand. However, the stranger held onto it.
‘You still haven’t told me who you are.’
‘So I haven’t. Sorry. I’m Beth Campbell, the new practice nurse—’ She stopped when she heard his swift intake of breath, feeling her heart start to race when she felt his fingers tighten around hers.
‘You’re Claire’s sister, aren’t you? No wonder you seemed so familiar when I first saw you. You look a lot like her.’ The blue eyes swept over her before coming back to her face, and she saw the regret they held. ‘I was so sorry when I heard that she had been killed. I was out of the country at the time and I didn’t find out what had happened until months later. It was a shock even though I hadn’t seen her in years.’
‘You knew Claire?’ Beth whispered. She withdrew her hand abruptly, afraid that he would feel the tremors that were racing through her. Her mind was starting to fit together all the bits of the puzzle about who he was but she simply couldn’t believe what it was telling her.
‘Yes. We worked together in London, way back. We were good friends at one time, too. I’m Adam Knight, by the way. Maybe she mentioned me?’
‘Yes, she did.’ Beth could feel the ground tilting beneath her feet and knew that she had to get away before she disgraced herself. ‘I’d better get back to work. I’ve still got patients to see.’
‘And I’d better let Chris know that I’m here. I’d have been here earlier only I wanted to stop by the hospital to see how uncle Jonathan was doing,’ he replied easily, but she could see the puzzlement in his eyes and knew that he had been surprised by her brusqueness.
‘Dr Wright is your uncle?’ she asked hollowly. That Adam Knight was not only here in Winton but actually about to start work at the surgery was too much to take in. She felt as though she had woken in the middle of some sort of crazy dream.
‘Yes. Funnily enough, that’s how Claire and I met. She overheard me saying that I had an uncle in Winton and told me that she had grown up not far from here.’ Adam sighed. ‘It’s strange how these things happen. I’m not sure if you can call it coincidence or fate.’
Neither was she!
Beth murmured something, although she couldn’t recall what she’d said a moment later. She hurried back to her room and closed the door, needing a few minutes to compose herself before calling in her next patient. But how easy was it going to be to deal with this situation?
Discovering that Adam Knight had links with the surgery changed everything. How could she risk asking him for help now when she had no idea how he might react? Maybe she was doing him an injustice, but she had always suspected that he must have known why Claire had wanted to see him, and that was why he hadn’t replied to her letter.
He hadn’t wanted to face up to his responsibilities, that was what it had boiled down to. In the circumstances, she’d known all along that asking him for help was a long shot. However, it was one thing to approach a stranger with the request but another entirely to broach it to a colleague. Frankly, the situation could become intolerable if he refused. This job was important to her and she didn’t want to risk losing it…
More important to her than Hannah was? a small voice whispered.
She took a deep breath.
Nothing was more important than Hannah. Neither her job nor Adam Knight’s feelings were of any consequence weighed against that. It was Hannah who mattered. Nobody else!
Somehow Beth got through the rest of her appointments with an outward show of calm which only she knew was a sham. She cleared up after her last patient had left then took the record cards through to the office for filing.
Eileen was getting ready to go home for lunch and she smiled cheerfully at her. ‘Just leave them in the tray, dear, and I’ll do them later. It didn’t go too badly, all things considered, and now that Adam’s back, we should cope until poor Dr Wright is better.’
Beth smiled and nodded in all the right places but she wasn’t really listening. Her ears had picked up the sound of a surprisingly familiar voice. She had already prepared herself by the time Adam Knight and Chris Andrews appeared.
‘I’m going to make a start on the house calls,’ Chris informed them, poking his head round the door. ‘Adam tells me that you two have introduced yourselves, Beth, so I don’t need to go through the formalities. He’s going to take this afternoon’s antenatal clinic to save me having to race back. I might even get some lunch today so things must be looking up!’
He turned to the other man without waiting for her to answer. ‘Thanks, Adam. It’s great to have you here. I’ll leave you in Beth’s very capable hands.’
A small silence fell after Chris and Eileen left. Beth knew that Adam was still standing in the doorway but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Should she tell him now why she had been trying to contact him or should she wait until later? They had to work together that afternoon and it could make the situation extremely difficult…
‘Did Claire ever talk about me?’
She jumped when he spoke, feeling the colour rush to her cheeks when she looked round and found him staring at her. ‘Not really,’ she replied, glad that she could be truthful because she doubted that she could have lied.
‘Then she didn’t say anything bad about me?’ He must have seen her surprise because he smiled thinly. ‘I got the distinct impression earlier that you were upset when you found out who I was. I just wondered if Claire might have said something.’
‘Should she have done?’ she countered.
‘I’ve no idea.’ He leant against the doorjamb and regarded her thoughtfully. ‘We certainly didn’t part on bad terms, not so far as I was concerned, anyway.’
‘Then you have nothing to worry about, have you?’ Beth gave him a tight little smile and went to the door, pausing when he made no attempt to get out of her way.
‘How much did your sister tell you about our relationship?’ he asked bluntly.
‘Enough.’ She met his gaze squarely, refusing to let him think that she was embarrassed in any way. ‘Naturally, she didn’t go into any detail but I know that you and Claire were lovers at one time, if that’s what you mean.’
‘I see. And how do you feel about the idea? Does it bother you?’ he replied smoothly.
‘No. How about you? Does it worry you that I know about you and Claire?’ she shot back.
‘Not at all.’ He shrugged but his gaze was intent. ‘It all happened a long time ago and it has little bearing on the present situation. There’s no reason that I know of why my relationship with your sister should get in the way of us working together. However, I have a feeling that something is troubling you, despite what you’ve just said.’
Beth looked away because she simply couldn’t stand there and meet that forceful stare any longer. Part of her wanted to tell him the truth and get it over with, whilst another part urged her to be cautious. Maybe it would be better to tread carefully until she had a better idea how he might react to her request.
‘I was just surprised when you turned up here,’ she said, choosing her words with care. ‘Claire never told me much about you so I had no idea that you were related to Dr Wright.’
‘I see. It must have been a shock for you, then,’ he said quietly.
‘It was.’ He must have heard the ring of truth in her voice because he visibly relaxed. Beth felt a flurry race along her nerves when he suddenly smiled at her. She had noticed how attractive he was when they had first met but he was devastating when he smiled like that.
‘And I’m not helping the situation by cross-examining you. Sorry. My excuse is that it was a surprise for me, too, to meet you here. Claire spoke about you many times. She was very fond of you, Beth.’
‘I was very fond of her,’ she admitted, feeling the ready tears welling into her eyes.
‘Now I’ve upset you and that was the last thing I wanted to do.’ His tone was so gentle that she had to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat before she could speak.
‘It’s not your fault. It’s been a difficult year, what with Claire’s death and…’ She stopped as she realised what she had been about to say, feeling her heart racing when she saw the way Adam was looking at her again.
‘And what? What were you going to say before you thought better of it?’ he asked in a silky tone that made her shiver with apprehension. ‘Why do I get the feeling that I’m missing something, Beth?’
‘I…I don’t know what you mean,’ she murmured, avoiding his eyes.
‘Don’t you?’ He paused, obviously giving her the chance to explain, but she knew that she wasn’t ready to do that just yet. It was too important that she didn’t make any mistakes. So much hinged on him agreeing…
Did she really think that he would agree, though? Everything she knew about him pointed to the fact that he might very well refuse. After all he hadn’t bothered to answer Claire’s letter, neither had he made any attempt to contact her in the last seven years. Were those the actions of a man who would be prepared to help?
She bit her lip in a quandary of indecision and heard him sigh. ‘I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Interrogating you?’
He smiled apologetically when she glanced at him but she could tell that he was still curious about the way she had been behaving, and was merely trying to smooth over an awkward moment.
‘It’s a rather strange situation for both of us,’ she suggested diffidently.
‘I suppose it is.’ He frowned as though he was considering that idea. ‘Neither of us could have imagined this happening in our wildest dreams.’
Amen to that! she silently endorsed then realised that he had carried on speaking.
‘My problems?’ she queried, her heart turning over as she wondered what he had meant by that. Had she been right all along? Had he guessed what Claire had wanted to tell him seven years ago? The thought suddenly made her feel sick, even though she had no idea why it should matter so much.
‘Having to work with a doctor about whom you know absolutely zilch. It’s no wonder you’re on edge. You’re probably worried stiff in case I make a complete hash of things this afternoon.’
He glanced down at his crumpled clothes and grimaced. ‘I admit that I don’t look the part of a bona fide GP, but I swear that I have all the necessary certificates to prove it somewhere around!’
She laughed shakily, not sure why she felt so relieved that he wasn’t about to confess to such unscrupulous behaviour. ‘You don’t have to prove anything to me. I’m willing to take your word for it that you’re suitably qualified.’
‘Thank you. I appreciate it.’ He treated her to a smile and once again Beth felt her pulse skip a beat. It had been such a long time since she’d reacted like that to a man’s smile that it confused her, and it was a moment before she realised what Adam had said.
‘The airline lost your luggage?’ she repeated.
‘That’s right. I couldn’t get a direct flight back to the UK so I had to make a couple of stop-overs en route. Somewhere between Tangiers and Düsseldorf my cases went AWOL. Fortunately, I had a holdall with me containing a change of clothes so at least I was able to wear something clean to come here today.’
He gave a deep chuckle. ‘Aunt Mary is going to hunt out some of the stuff I left with her the last time I was in England, but I’m not sure if it will do much more to improve my image. I have never been known for my sartorial elegance, shall we say.’
He paused when the phone on the reception desk suddenly rang. ‘I expect you want to go for lunch so I’ll get that. Anything I need to know before this afternoon?’
‘No, it’s all quite straightforward—routine antenatal check-ups with, hopefully, few problems,’ she assured him.
‘Fine. I’ll see you later, then.’
Adam hurried away and a moment later Beth heard the rumble of his voice as he picked up the receiver. However, she didn’t wait around. Apart from the fact that she didn’t want to have to answer any more awkward questions, she didn’t have the time to hang around if she wanted to see Hannah before she was due back at work.
She sighed sadly.
Everything came back to Hannah. She just hadn’t realised how difficult it was going to be to tell Adam about her niece.
CHAPTER TWO (#u45153ebd-5bf6-5645-8daa-83303f8fa1fc)
‘RIGHT, Mrs Graham. If you could pop up onto the couch then I can see how junior is doing.’
Adam smiled at the young woman. ‘This baby certainly isn’t in a rush to make his appearance in the world. You’re what…three days overdue now?’
‘That’s right, Doctor,’ Elaine Graham replied as Beth helped her get comfortable.
Elaine had looked extremely tense when she’d arrived. However, Beth couldn’t help noticing how much more relaxed she now appeared to be. It was obvious that Adam’s easygoing manner had had a positive effect on Elaine, as it had had on all the other expectant mums they had seen that afternoon. Beth had to admit that she was impressed.
‘I was hoping this one would be early, unlike his brothers,’ Elaine explained. ‘My youngest is having a birthday party the day after tomorrow and I was hoping that I’d have had the baby by then.’
‘Well, there’s still time,’ Adam assured her, gently feeling the position the baby was lying in. ‘The baby’s head is engaged so in theory it should be all systems go very soon.’
‘I wish you’d tell that to the baby,’ Elaine retorted. ‘I’ve had three children so far, and each time I’ve been told that the birth is imminent and nothing has happened!’
‘We don’t get it right every time, Mrs Graham!’ he admitted ruefully. He finished his examination then helped her to sit up. ‘I just want to take your blood pressure again. The reading seemed to be a little on the high side when Sister Campbell took it earlier.’
‘Probably because I’d been rushing round,’ Elaine admitted, offering her arm so that he could wrap the cuff of the sphygmomanometer around it. ‘There’s always something that needs doing when you’ve got three lively boys.’
‘I’m sure there is.’ Adam quickly inflated the cuff then paused while he took the new reading. ‘I don’t know how you mums cope with everything. It’s no wonder that there don’t seem to be enough hours in a day. But will you promise me that you’ll try to rest more until the baby arrives? It will help to keep your blood pressure down and that’s very important at this stage.’
‘I’ll try, Dr Knight,’ Elaine agreed readily, so readily, in fact, that Beth had to hide her amazement. She knew that Dr Wright had tried—and failed!—to make Elaine see how important it was that she rested during the latter stages of her pregnancy. Obviously, Adam’s charm had garnered better results than Dr Wright’s kindly paternalism had done.
It was unsettling to realise it. The image she had built up over the years of Adam Knight just didn’t gel with what she had seen that afternoon. He had been kind and caring towards the patients, deeply sympathetic to any problems they’d had. She simply couldn’t reconcile the cold professional of her imagination with the warmly attentive man she had been working with. It struck her that she could easily grow to like him, only she wasn’t sure that would be a good thing. There wasn’t room to start worrying about his feelings when she had Hannah to consider.
The thought of her niece made her sigh and she saw Adam glance at her. She forced herself to concentrate as he saw Elaine Graham out, not wanting to give him an opening to start questioning her again. He’d made no mention of their earlier conversation but she’d noticed him watching her several times and knew that he hadn’t forgotten what had happened. Until she’d decided how she intended to handle this situation it seemed safer to err on the side of caution.
Beth set about packing up the blood samples that needed to be sent to the lab for testing. There were no more patients to be seen so once everywhere was tidy she would be free until evening surgery. Adam had come back into the room and she looked at him in surprise when he started stripping the paper sheets off the couch.
‘I’ll do that in a minute. You don’t need to bother.’
‘It’ll be quicker if we both do it.’ He bundled the sheets into a ball and shoved them into a plastic refuse sack then picked up the spray bottle of disinfectant and began wiping down the work surfaces.
Beth was more than a little startled by his actions and it must have showed.
‘Old habits die hard, I’m afraid. I’m so used to having to clear up after myself that I feel positively embarrassed by the idea of anyone else doing it for me.’ He squirted some of the disinfectant onto the couch then began vigorously rubbing the leather. ‘Just ignore me. With a bit of luck I’ll have worked it out of my system in a week or two.’
‘By that time I might have got used to you performing such lowly tasks,’ she replied, trying to inject a little levity into her voice. However, the sight of him working away like that was having the strangest effect on her.
She swallowed hard as she watched the muscles in his arms flex each time he rubbed the cloth over the couch. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt so that she had a perfect view of his tanned forearms. When he reached across to the far side of the couch and his shirt suddenly parted company from the waistband of his trousers to reveal a couple of inches of muscular back, she had to bite her lip. Yet why should the sight of an inch or two of exposed flesh make her feel as though her insides had turned to mush? she wondered.
‘What else needs doing? Ah, yes. Those files need to go to the office.’ He stowed the cloth away in the cupboard under the sink and turned. His eyes narrowed when he saw the guilty start she gave. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘No, of course not!’ She gave a tinkly laugh, which wouldn’t have convinced anyone that she was telling the truth, and hurried on. ‘Are you here for evening surgery?’
‘I offered to split the list with Chris but he said that he could manage. I think he was worried that I might keel over from jet lag,’ he explained, although she could tell that she hadn’t completely allayed his curiosity. ‘I’ll be in first thing in the morning, though.’
‘Chris must be very relieved. It’s been hectic here these past few days. Mind you, it’s always busy,’ she replied, keeping the conversation flowing in the hope that it would distract him.
‘So Chris was saying. From what I could gather, they were having problems keeping up even before Jonathan was taken ill,’ he said levelly.
‘Dr Wright told me that the lists have doubled since that new housing estate was built on the outskirts of town,’ Beth explained, feeling easier now that the conversation was firmly centred on the practice.
‘And that’s probably been a contributing factor to why he’s in hospital,’ Adam said darkly. ‘It appears that Jonathan has been having chest pains for some time, only he was too busy to go for a check-up. He self-diagnosed angina and has been treating himself for it.’
‘I had no idea,’ she exclaimed.
‘Nobody had. Jonathan didn’t want anyone to know because he was afraid that he might be forced to cut down the amount of work that he does. Aunt Mary only found out because he confessed to the specialist.’
He gave a deep laugh. ‘I wouldn’t like to be in his shoes when he gets out of hospital. Aunt Mary might be a gentle soul but I’m sure she’ll make him pay for his deviousness!’
‘I expect she’ll forgive him in the end. She must be so relieved that he’s going to be all right,’ Beth said firmly.
Adam shrugged. ‘I’m sure you’re right. They have a great marriage. If anyone needs any tips on how to make a relationship work, they only need to look at that pair.’
‘A good role model for you?’ she suggested, suddenly curious about the state of Adam’s own love life. He hadn’t mentioned that he was married but suddenly the thought that he might have a wife and family was strangely unpalatable, and not just because it could have repercussions on what she wanted to ask him.
‘Oh, I decided a long time ago that marriage wasn’t for me. Once bitten, twice shy, as the saying goes.’
Beth frowned. That seemed to imply that he’d been let down at some point, and she couldn’t help wondering if it had anything to do with her sister. Claire had always claimed that her relationship with Adam Knight had been strictly fun, but had he felt the same about it?
The idea troubled her. However, before she could try to find out more he suddenly sighed. ‘Anyway, enough of all that. You must be itching to put your feet up for half an hour before evening surgery and here I am, rabbiting on. You’re too good a listener, Beth. You remind me of Claire in that respect as well.’
She summoned a smile, although she couldn’t deny that the comparison was disquieting. She had loved Claire and should have been pleased to be compared favourably to her, but the thought that Adam was measuring her against her sister troubled her.
‘I shall take that as a compliment,’ she said, refusing to dwell on the idea. There were far more pressing matters to focus on, but was this the right moment to tell him? He was obviously tired from all the travelling so maybe it would be better to leave it until tomorrow when he would be better able to cope with the news.
It was a relief to be able to put off the moment a while longer and she smiled at him. ‘Right, I’m away upstairs for a cup of tea.’
‘You’re living in the flat over the surgery?’ Adam asked in surprise.
‘Yes. It was a real bonus because I couldn’t have afforded anywhere as big otherwise. A bedsit certainly wouldn’t have been suitable when—’ She just managed to stop in time. Adam looked at her curiously, his brows drawing together into a slight frown.
‘Why wouldn’t a bedsit have been suitable?’ he asked flatly before an odd expression crossed his face. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s none of my business if you’re living with someone.’
‘I’m not,’ she admitted huskily because it still hurt to recall what had happened. ‘I was in a relationship for quite some time but we split up a few months ago. That’s why I needed a place to live when I took the job in Winton. I moved out of the house we’d been sharing after I broke off our engagement.’
‘Tough. It must have been a difficult time for you.’
Adam reached over and squeezed her hand in a genuine show of sympathy, and for some reason she felt some of the hurt dissolve. It was all very strange so that it was an effort to reply calmly when he bade her goodbye.
Beth went up to the flat and made herself a cup of tea then opened the back door. There was a flight of steps leading from the flat to the car park, with a small balcony at the top. She’d filled some plastic tubs with colourful plants and had bought a small bench seat from the local garden centre and had arranged them out there.
It was her own little oasis of calm, the place she went to when she wanted to think, and there was a lot to think about at the moment, most of it centred on one person, funnily enough—Adam Knight. The man she had searched for for so long.
He wasn’t anything like she had imagined he would be.
Evening surgery was packed. Even Eileen looked frazzled by the end of the night. Chris Andrews looked positively grey with fatigue when Beth bumped into him on her way to the office.
‘What a night!’ he declared. ‘Don’t folk know that it’s summer and that coughs, colds and other such nasties should have been left well behind by now?’
Beth smiled sympathetically. ‘It’s hard to believe that we could have an outbreak of flu at this time of the year. It’s the start of the hay fever season soon.’
‘Which means more running eyes and stuffy noses.’ Chris sounded really downhearted. ‘Sometimes I feel like packing in this job and going off beachcombing. There has to be more to life than this!’
‘It should get better now that Adam is here,’ she said, trying to sound encouraging because she could tell that Chris was down in the dumps.
‘It should. I only wish he was staying here on a permanent basis, but this isn’t his scene at all.’ Chris shrugged when she looked at him. ‘Adam has itchy feet and I can’t see him ever settling down in any one place. He prefers the nomadic life—no ties, no commitments other than to his work. Mind you, I’m starting to think he has the right idea. I must have been mad to opt for the life of a GP!’
Chris didn’t appear to expect her to say anything, thankfully enough. Beth went into the office and checked her list for the following morning, but she couldn’t help thinking about what she had just heard. Not that it had come as a surprise. She had guessed a long time ago that Adam Knight was the type of man who avoided any kind of commitment. It made it that more difficult to assess how he would react to what she had to tell him.
It was a worrying thought but she tried to put it out of her head as she went up to the flat and changed out of her uniform. She was a little later than usual so she didn’t waste time as she slipped on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, then pulled the pins out of her hair and quickly ran her fingers through it.
The gleaming red-gold strands swirled around her shoulders as she opened the back door, catching the last rays of evening sunlight. The light was so bright that her eyes were momentarily dazzled when she stepped onto the balcony and she didn’t see the man who was sitting on the bench. It was only when he spoke that she realised he was there.
‘Hello, Beth. I wonder if you could spare me a minute.’
She gasped and pressed a hand to her racing heart. ‘You scared the wits out of me, Adam!’
‘Sorry.’ He stood up and looked pointedly at the door. ‘Perhaps we could go back inside?’
Beth swallowed hard, wondering what it was about the way he was looking at her that made her feel so nervous. ‘I was just on my way out. Can’t it wait till tomorrow?’
‘I’m afraid not. We’ve wasted most of a day as it is.’ He sat back down on the bench although his eyes never left her face. ‘It was you who phoned me this morning, wasn’t it? I wish I had recognised your voice sooner but I was still rather hungover from the flight.’
He treated her to a cool smile when she didn’t reply. ‘If you’re wondering how I discovered it had been you calling then you have the wonders of modern technology to thank. I’d forgotten to set the answering machine before I left this morning, you see. A stupid mistake, bearing in mind I was hoping that the airline would phone about my missing baggage.
‘Anyway, I checked to see if there had been any calls by dialling one-four-seven-one, and there’d been just the one, first thing this morning. Aunt Mary keeps a list of numbers by the phone and, lo and behold, there it was—the number for the surgery flat. The bit of the puzzle I can’t solve is why you were phoning me. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you did say that we hadn’t met before today?’
‘No we hadn’t, but I…I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for a while,’ she admitted shakily.
‘I see. And are you going to tell me why? Or are we going to skirt around it for another day?’ He laughed hollowly. ‘I told you earlier that I had a feeling there was something I was missing. You denied it then but I do hope that you aren’t going to try and deny it now?’
Her face stung at the mockery she heard in his voice. Maybe he didn’t realise how difficult this was for her but she resented the fact that he saw fit to ridicule her. ‘I apologise for lying to you. My only excuse is that it was a shock to have you turning up like that.’
She stared defiantly at him. ‘As I told you before, I had no idea that you had any connections with the surgery. Claire never told me that.’
‘Ah, yes, Claire. Funny how it all seems to come back to her. This is all to do with your sister, isn’t it?’
He leant forward and Beth could see the tension that had grooved deep lines on either side of his mouth. ‘I guessed that as soon as I worked out that it had been you phoning me this morning. It’s the only link you and I have. I knew your sister very well at one time, Beth, as you know. However, I haven’t seen her in years. So what possible reason could you have for seeking me out after all this time?’
Beth could feel her heart racing. The drumming beat was making her feel sick. So much hinged on how Adam took what she had to tell him that she was scared to death in case she made a mess of it.
She stared into his deep blue eyes, realising how familiar they were. Such a wonderful shade of blue, the thick black lashes that framed them simply highlighting the intensity of their colour…
She swung round and hurried back inside the flat then went straight to her bedroom. Adam was still sitting exactly where she had left him when she went outside again. The sun was lower in the sky now and his face was partly in shadow. It made it difficult to gauge his expression but she drove all thought of how he might react from her mind. She had to tell him the truth, no matter what happened afterwards!
‘I want you to take a look at this,’ she said huskily, her voice quavering because the tension was almost palpable at that moment. She handed him the photograph then turned away, not wanting to see his reaction.
The sky was red and purple now, streaked with gold along the horizon as the sun slid from the sky. Maybe Claire was looking down on them from that sea of glorious colour, and if she was then Beth prayed that her sister would understand why she had no choice but to break her word.
‘Who is she?’
She heard the tremor in his voice and her heart ached because she knew instinctively that he was going to find her answer painful. Maybe he had suspected why Claire had asked to see him all those years ago, but it was one thing to dismiss a suspicion and another to ignore a fact. There was a gentleness in her voice when she replied that she hadn’t expected to hear there because suddenly she cared how he took this news, cared not just because of Hannah but because of Adam himself.
‘Her name is Hannah and she’s six years old. She’s Claire’s daughter.’
She heard his swift intake of breath but she couldn’t stop, couldn’t let herself think of anything else at that moment except what had to be done. ‘She’s your daughter, too, Adam.’
Afterwards, she was never sure if the silence had lasted only in her imagination. It seemed to run on and on yet even though she was physically aching to say something, she couldn’t break it. She needed Adam to speak first so that she could decide how to handle the situation from that point on.
‘I didn’t know. I had no idea…’
Beth heard him take a deep breath but his voice was raw with pain and a host of things that made her eyes prickle with tears. ‘Claire never told me. She never, ever told me!’
‘I know she didn’t.’ She swung round, surprised by the need she felt to reassure him. His face was completely in shadow now but she saw the glitter of moisture on his cheeks and her heart quailed because of what else she had to tell him soon.
‘Claire decided not to tell you in that letter she sent you but…’
‘What letter?’ he demanded immediately. ‘I never received any letter.’
‘Claire wrote to you when she found out that she was pregnant,’ she said slowly. ‘She didn’t want to, but I persuaded her that she should.’
‘I never received a letter from her,’ he said, and his tone was so harsh and flat that Beth knew at once that he was telling her the truth. She shrugged, not sure what to say because this new development had shaken her. For all these years she had blamed him for not replying, suspected him of deliberately avoiding his responsibilities, yet suddenly she realised that she had been doing him an injustice. The crazy thing was how relieved she felt.
‘I don’t know what happened to it, then. All I know is that Claire wrote and asked if she could see you. She was going to tell you about the baby if she thought it was the best thing to do…’
‘What do you mean if it was the best thing to do? It was my child, damn it! I had the right to know!’
Beth heard the anger in his voice and knew that she had to find a way to explain her sister’s actions. ‘She wanted to do what was right for everyone concerned…you, the baby and herself.’
‘Really? How very good of her.’ His anger rose on a sudden wave and seemed to envelop them both. ‘What it boils down to is that she was going to sit in judgement on me, decide whether or not I was fit to be told that I had a child! How could that be right? You tell me that!’
‘Don’t! There’s no point getting angry with Claire. She didn’t do it to hurt you.’
It took just a couple of steps to reach the bench but Beth’s heart was aching when she saw how tightly his fingers were clutching the photograph. Adam was angry but more importantly he was upset and she wanted to help him understand because it might help.
‘You and Claire hadn’t planned on having a child and she didn’t want your whole life to be disrupted as a result of it. So she made the decision to try and find out how you would feel about the idea before she told you.’
‘And decided when I didn’t answer her letter that that was the end of it. It let her off the hook, didn’t it? Gave her an excuse not to contact me again. I hadn’t bothered replying so obviously I wasn’t interested. Was that what you both thought?’
She sighed, wishing that she could deny it. ‘She wasn’t to know that you hadn’t received the letter.’
‘Maybe not. But surely the possibility should have occurred to her. Claire knew that I was planning on going overseas. It wouldn’t take a genius to work out that the letter might not have reached me. She knew very well that she could have got in touch with me through my uncle, but she didn’t make any attempt to do so, did she? She conveniently wrote me out of my child’s life!’
Beth touched his hand and it felt icy despite the warmth of the evening air. ‘All I can do is repeat what I’ve just told you, that Claire did what she thought was best. You must try to believe that.’
‘It isn’t easy. All these years and I never knew that I had a daughter.’ He stared at the picture then ran his hand over his eyes. ‘I can’t seem to take it in. If you hadn’t told me, I would never have known about her…’
He stopped and she felt his hand clench on the photograph. His voice seemed to grate when he continued, vibrating along her nerves, filling her with apprehension. ‘Why did you tell me? You said that you’d spent a long time tracking me down but why now? You could have told me when your sister died, or at any point during these past seven years, but you didn’t. So why did you suddenly decide that it was time I knew about Hannah?’
Beth removed her hand abruptly. This was the really difficult part and she wasn’t sure that she could deal with it.
Only she had no choice.
‘Because Hannah desperately needs your help,’ she explained huskily, struggling to keep control of her emotions. ‘Six months ago she started being ill, you see. She was tired and listless all the time. At first I wondered if it was a reaction to Claire’s death even though she seemed to have accepted it.’
She knew that she was laying the ground, trying to lessen the shock so she continued when he didn’t say anything. ‘I was so worried about her that I took her to the doctor and he ordered some tests to be done. When the results came back they showed that Hannah had acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.’
‘God!’ He stood up and paced to the top of the steps then swung round. ‘How has she responded to treatment? I take it that she’s in hospital?’
‘Very well and, yes, she is in hospital. She’s been in St Jude’s for several months now,’ she explained quietly.
‘And what’s the prognosis? Has the consultant said what her chances are?’ he rapped out.
Beth sensed that he needed to hear all the facts to help him deal with the shock he’d had. ‘Mr Guest—that’s Hannah’s consultant—is very pleased with her. He’s confident that she’ll be in remission soon.’
‘Thank heaven for that!’ He took a deep breath and she saw a shudder run through him. ‘So what happens next?’
‘Once remission is achieved then, hopefully, Hannah will have a bone-marrow transplant. Apparently, they do that straight away nowadays once a child is in remission.’
She paused, choosing her words with care because this part was so important. ‘The problem is that the hospital hasn’t found a suitable donor for her. They’ve gone through all the usual channels and I’ve been tested, but they’ve drawn a blank. I was hoping that if I did manage to find you, you might be willing to be tested. I know it’s a lot to ask…’
She stopped when he swore under his breath. He turned back to her and the expression on his face made her tremble because it was so ferocious. Her heart turned over because she couldn’t bear it if he refused.
‘It’s her only chance, Adam! If Hannah doesn’t get this bone-marrow transplant then her chances of survival are virtually nil. Please, say that you’ll think about it.’
‘I don’t need to think about it! What kind of a man do you think I am?’ His blue eyes seemed to burn with an inner fire as he glared at her. ‘This is my child we’re talking about—my daughter. I’d give up my life if it would help her!’
‘You mean that you’ll do it? You’ll be tested?’ It was almost too much to take in. She stared at him and saw an expression of intense pain cross his face.
‘Yes. And now I want to see her. I take it that you were going to the hospital to visit Hannah, so I’ll go with you. I’ve got Uncle Jonathan’s car so I’ll drive.’
‘Oh, but…’ she began, not sure that it would be wise to rush into a meeting between the pair that night. Adam needed time to come to terms with what she had told him and she needed to prepare Hannah.
He was halfway down the steps but he stopped. ‘No buts, Beth. I want to see Hannah. I’ve missed the first six years of her life so I think I have the right to do that.’
She couldn’t argue with that and didn’t try because she knew it would be pointless. ‘All right. But I want you to understand that Hannah doesn’t know anything about you. Claire…well, Claire decided that it was better not to tell her in the circumstances.’
‘And you agreed to keep the secret, didn’t you?’ He smiled thinly. ‘You and Claire erased me from Hannah’s life but the situation is going to change from here on, believe me.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘That I intend to make up for all those lost years. Hannah needs a father. She needs me in more ways than you ever realised!’
He turned and ran down the steps and a few seconds later she heard a car starting up. She quickly locked the door and followed him, deeply troubled by what he had said.
He had a right to be angry, a right even to blame her for keeping her promise to Claire, but did he have the right to disrupt Hannah’s life? How would the child feel if she grew fond of him then he upped and left again? Chris had told her that Adam had an aversion to commitment, yet the one thing a child needed was stability. Claire must have known how Adam had felt all those years ago, which was why she had been so loath to tell him about Hannah. Could she really trust him not to break her precious niece’s heart?
She slid into the passenger seat and glanced at Adam as he put the car into gear, felt a little bubble of panic rise to the surface of her mind. Could she trust him not to break her own heart as well?
Now, where had that thought sprung from?
CHAPTER THREE (#u45153ebd-5bf6-5645-8daa-83303f8fa1fc)
THERE WERE still a lot of parents around when they arrived at the hospital. St Jude’s had an open door policy in its children’s wards and there were few restrictions on visiting times.
Beth called in at least twice a day to see Hannah and would have gone more often if she’d had the time because she loved being with her niece. However, her footsteps slowed as they approached the doors to the ward. Adam hadn’t said a word to her on the drive to the hospital and she needed to know what he intended to do before she introduced him to Hannah.
‘Look, Adam, I know this has been a shock for you but I want you to promise me that you won’t do anything…well, hasty.’
He paused to look at her and she shivered when she caught the full force of his icy stare. ‘What you really mean is that you don’t want me to tell Hannah who I am. Isn’t that right, Beth?’
‘Yes.’ She forced herself to meet his eyes, refusing to dwell on why she felt so guilty. She had made a promise to Claire so she shouldn’t feel bad about not having told him about Hannah sooner. ‘Hannah doesn’t know anything about you. If you go in there and blurt out who you are, you’ll simply confuse her. She’s only six, Adam, and she’s been through a lot in this past year.’
‘And you really think that I don’t understand that?’ He smiled grimly when she shrugged. ‘Obviously not. After all, you know very little about me, do you, Beth? I don’t suppose you cared enough to find out. However, you can stop worrying. I think I have a bit more sensitivity than to announce to a sick child that I’m the father she never knew she had.’
She winced when she heard the anger in his voice. ‘I know this isn’t easy for you, Adam,’ she began but he curtly interrupted her.
‘Spare me the sympathy. Now, are you coming or shall I go and find Hannah by myself?’
He didn’t wait for her to reply as he pushed open the door. Beth led the way, feeling sick with nerves because she still wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this meeting. Hannah had always been shy with strangers and she’d grown even more introverted since her mother had died. Although she seemed to have accepted the nurses and doctors with whom she came into daily contact, Beth knew how quickly the little girl could clam up with someone new. Would Adam understand that and make allowances?
Beth’s nerves felt as taut as violin strings as she led the way to Hannah’s bed. The staff had tried to make the ward as child-friendly as possible by covering the walls with posters and using colourful linen on the beds rather than the regulation hospital white. However, there was no escaping from the fact that the children in there were very sick.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Adam’s head turn as they passed one child after another. Most were hooked up to drips that were pumping potent cocktails of chemicals into their small bodies. All the children in the ward had cancer in one form or another and they were treated with a vast array of drugs.
Some were designed to destroy the cancerous cells, others to protect against infection, always a major concern. Then there were the transfusions of blood and platelets they all needed at regular intervals. It could be a little overwhelming to someone visiting the ward for the first time.
‘All these kids…’ Adam took a deep breath but she could see the pain in his eyes when he looked at her. ‘I never realised that there were so many children suffering like this.’
‘It does come as a shock, even when you work in medicine,’ she agreed softly. She caught sight of Hannah and waved, feeling her nerves tighten that little bit more when she felt Adam stiffen. Without stopping to think, she caught hold of his hand and squeezed it.
‘It will be fine, you’ll see. Just don’t worry if Hannah doesn’t say much to you. She’s very shy at first with strangers.’
He winced at that and Beth could have bitten her tongue for her lack of tact. Letting go of his hand, she quickly went to the child’s bed and bent down to kiss her.
‘Hello, darling. I’m sorry I’m late. It was really busy tonight at the surgery and I got held up.’
She ran her hand lightly over the child’s head, feeling the prickle of stubble under her fingers. Hannah’s hair had fallen out because of the drugs she had been receiving. It would grow again once she had completed her treatment, but Beth still grieved for the loss of the beautiful black curls because they had been a symbol of the fit and healthy child that her niece had been once upon a time.
Now as she turned to Adam and caught the fleeting expression of anguish on his face she knew that he was remembering the photograph she had shown him earlier. What a shock it must be for him to compare that child with the one in the bed. Unconsciously, her tone softened.
‘Adam, I’d like you to meet Hannah. Come and say hello to her.’
She stepped aside so that he could approach the bed. He moved slowly, smiling at the child as he bent down and took her thin little hand in his large one and gravely shook it.
‘Hello, Hannah. I hope you don’t mind me coming to see you. Aunty Beth told me all about you, you see, and I asked her if I could visit you.’
Beth felt a lump come to her throat when she heard the tenderness in his voice. She realised that she was holding her breath as she waited to see how Hannah would respond.
‘Are you and Aunty Beth friends?’ Hannah asked, staring up at him with huge, curious blue eyes, eyes that were exactly the same colour as Adam’s were.
‘That’s right, sweetheart.’ He gave the child another warm smile and, surprisingly, she smiled back.
‘That’s OK, then,’ she said with a worldly wisdom that made them both laugh.
Adam glanced at Beth and she saw the relief in his eyes and knew that he had been as worried as she had been about this first meeting. Realising it, it helped to allay her fears so that she found herself able to relax. Adam wouldn’t deliberately do anything that might harm her precious niece.
‘So, what did you do this afternoon, poppet?’ she asked, moving a chair closer to the bed so that she could sit down. She was very conscious of Adam standing behind her, his arms folded across his broad chest as he listened while the little girl related everything she had done since Beth had seen her at lunchtime. When he shifted slightly, she found herself jumping nervously and had to force herself to concentrate on what Hannah was saying.
‘What sort of a picture did you draw, Hannah?’ Adam asked after Hannah had finished telling them about the lessons she had done that afternoon. The children were in hospital for such a long time that they had a teacher who came each day to keep them up to date with their school work. Hannah had drawn a picture that day as part of her work.
‘I’ll show you if you like,’ the little girl offered shyly. ‘See.’
She picked up a piece of paper from her bedside locker and gave it to him to look at. Beth felt her pulse leap when he leant forward to take it from the child and his arm brushed hers. She had been so keyed up before that she hadn’t noticed that he’d changed out of the clothes he’d been wearing earlier. Now she found herself drinking in the sight of his lean muscular body clad in well-washed denim jeans and a faded black T-shirt. She couldn’t help thinking how good he looked in the casual outfit, so much better than Ian had ever looked in his expensive suits.
The thought surprised her but she quickly dismissed it. She glanced at the picture that Adam was holding and laughed when she saw what her niece had drawn.
‘Is that what I think it is, young lady?’ she teased, pointing to a spot in the bottom right-hand corner of the drawing.
Adam raised his brows when Hannah giggled. ‘What’s the joke? Come on, don’t be meanies—tell me what’s so funny.’
Beth smiled as she looked at her niece. ‘This little madam keeps hinting that she wants a dog for her birthday and she doesn’t miss any opportunity to remind me about it. Every time she draws a picture she manages to sneak a dog into it somewhere!’
Adam chuckled when she pointed to a strange-looking creature in the corner of the picture. It was obvious that he hadn’t realised what it was meant to be but he tactfully didn’t say so. ‘Ah, I see. It looks like it could be a Labrador to me. When is your birthday, Hannah?’
‘Next month. I’ll be seven,’ Hannah informed him importantly.
Beth saw his face cloud over and hurriedly cut in. She knew that he must be thinking about all the years that he’d missed. ‘If anyone in the ward has a birthday the nurses give them a party. I expect they’ll give you one, too, poppet. Won’t that be fun?’
‘S’pose so,’ the child agreed wistfully. ‘But it won’t be as much fun as last year when Mummy gave me a party and all my friends from school came.’
Beth bit back a sigh because there was little she could say to contradict that. Fortunately, Rose Johnson, one of the staff nurses on the ward, came to check Hannah’s drip just then so the child was distracted.
‘That’s fine,’ Rose said when she had finished. Beth had met Rose when they’d done their training together and they had been firm friends ever since. She suspected that there had been an ulterior motive as to why Rose had chosen to check the drip at that precise moment, and she was proved right when her friend looked pointedly at Adam.
‘I see that you’ve got another visitor tonight, Hannah. Aren’t you going to introduce me?’
‘This is Adam and he’s a friend of Aunty Beth’s,’ the child explained, and for some reason Beth found herself blushing.
‘Is he indeed?’ Rose treated Beth to an old-fashioned look before she turned to smile at Adam. ‘Nice to meet you, Adam. Will we be seeing more of you around here in the future?’
Beth glared at her friend but Rose pretended not to notice. Fortunately, Adam seemed unaware of any undercurrents. ‘You can be sure of it,’ he replied evenly. ‘I shall be a regular visitor from now on.’
Rose’s brows rose. ‘Really? Well, I’ll look forward to seeing you again, then.’
Beth glared at her friend as Rose turned to leave but all she got in return was a smug smile. She sighed as she watched Rose making her way down the ward. She’d bet a pound to a penny that she knew what her friend was thinking, but Rose was wrong! Adam might have gone along with Hannah’s innocent introduction but did he really see himself as her friend? Could he ever be that when he blamed her as much as he blamed Claire for keeping the child’s existence a secret?
It was an oddly painful thought and Beth found it difficult to put it out of her mind while she chatted to Hannah. When she noticed that the child was beginning to tire, she stood up, glad to be able to bring the visit to an end. Introducing Adam to Hannah was bound to have been difficult for all of them but things should get easier from now on, she assured herself.
‘It’s time you were asleep, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She bent and kissed the little girl. ‘Night-night, sleep tight. Mind the bed bugs—’
‘Don’t bite,’ Hannah finished for her, yawning widely. Her lids were already starting to droop as Beth moved away from the bed but they suddenly shot up as she looked at Adam. ‘Will you come to see me tomorrow as well, Adam?’
‘Of course I will.’ He stepped forward and after the tiniest hesitation brushed the child’s pale cheek with his lips. ‘Goodnight, Hannah. Sweet dreams.’
‘Night-night, Adam.’
Hannah’s eyes had closed before they were halfway down the ward. Adam paused by the door to look back and Beth could tell what an effort it cost him to contain his feelings.
‘She’s so tiny and frail, isn’t she? She looks as though a puff of wind would blow her away,’ he said thickly.
‘She’s stronger than you think, a real little fighter. The fact that she’s got this far is a measure of her spirit,’ she told him softly, knowing what he must be going through.
‘She still has a long way to go, though. Even if she has this bone-marrow transplant there are no guarantees that she will pull through.’
Beth heard the pain in his voice and wanted with all her heart to reassure him, but it would have been wrong to lie.
‘No, there are no guarantees but we can’t afford to think like that, Adam. We have to be positive and convince ourselves that the transplant will work.’ She shrugged when he looked at her. ‘When hope is all you have then it becomes doubly important that you never lose sight of it.’
‘It can’t have been easy for you these past months, Beth.’ He opened the door for her, stopping once again when they were out in the corridor. His blue eyes were intent as he searched her face. Beth had the funniest feeling that he was trying to look deep inside her mind and looked away, unsure why the idea disturbed her so much.
‘It hasn’t been. But it’s been much worse for Hannah. She’s the one who has lost her mother and is now fighting for her life,’ she replied huskily. She had only met Adam a few short hours ago so why should she imagine that he could read her mind?
‘But you’re the one who has had to be strong. The one who has had to live with this nightmare day after day.’ He took hold of her hands and gripped them hard. ‘Thank you, Beth. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for Hannah.’
Beth felt herself choke up and quickly withdrew her hands. ‘You’ll have me crying all over you if you keep on like that,’ she admonished with a shaky laugh. ‘And I’m quite sure that’s something you want to avoid!’
‘Heavens, yes!’ He feigned horror as he glanced down. ‘You might start crying all over this T-shirt and that would never do. The thought of the damage all those salty tears could cause sends shudders down my spine!’
Beth chuckled, grateful for his attempts to lighten the mood. ‘I can imagine. You need to be very careful with antique fabric like that.’
‘I hope that wasn’t meant as a criticism. I’ll have you know that this T-shirt is priceless. I defy you to find another one like it!’
His smile was unashamedly teasing as he started walking along the corridor. Beth felt her spirits lift when she looked at his laughing face. Maybe it was crazy, but just knowing that Adam was going to be around seemed to have taken some of the burden off her shoulders.
‘Priceless? Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to guess how much it’s worth,’ she retorted. She was still smiling as they rounded a corner on their way to the lifts and almost collided with the man who was coming in the opposite direction.
‘Oops, sorry…!’ she began then found her voice drying up when she realised that it was her ex-fiancé, Ian Patterson.
‘Hello, Beth. Fancy running into you like this,’ he said with a distinctly unpleasant smile. ‘How’s the new job going? You’re not sorry yet that you decided to leave the bright city lights behind?’
‘Not at all. I’m really enjoying working at the surgery,’ she replied stiffly. She hadn’t seen Ian for some time but the memory of what had happened between them still rankled. After Claire had died, she had taken Hannah to live with her and Ian, confident that he’d shared her desire to give the child a secure and loving home. However, it hadn’t taken her long to realise that she’d made a huge mistake.
Now she tilted her chin and stared defiantly at him. ‘Hannah is fine, by the way. I’m sure you were going to ask about her so I’ll save you the trouble.’
‘You already know my views on that subject,’ he replied bluntly. ‘If you choose to waste your life by looking after someone else’s kid then that’s your business.’
He glanced at Adam and she saw an expression of disdain cross his face as he took stock of the other man’s appearance. It was obvious when Ian turned away without uttering a word that he intended to ignore him. However, it appeared that wasn’t what Adam wanted.
‘Aren’t you going to introduce us, Beth? Never mind, I’ll do it for you. I’m Adam Knight.’ Adam held out his hand. Beth saw Ian hesitate before he reluctantly shook it.
It struck her then that she had never realised just what a snob Ian was. She had always known that he was ambitious and that his aim was to mix with the very top levels of society. She had found it rather endearing, in fact, a tiny flaw in his otherwise perfect character. However, now she could see that there was nothing endearing about the way Ian looked down on people whom he considered inferior.
‘Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?’ Adam’s tone was so courteous that she couldn’t explain the shiver that crept down her spine. She shot him a wary glance but there was nothing about the polite smile he gave Ian to confirm her suspicions that he was up to something.
‘Ian Patterson, senior registrar on the coronary care unit. Basically, it means that I’m in charge of the unit for most of the time,’ Ian stated pompously.
‘Really?’ Adam looked impressed. Beth saw Ian start to relax, confident that he was on safe ground. However, she had a horrible feeling that he was going to regret that rather large distortion of the truth. Although Ian’s position was a senior one, he was one of three registrars on the coronary care unit, and by no means the head of the team.
‘You must have to shoulder an awful lot of responsibility in a job like that,’ Adam continued in a tone that simply invited confidences. ‘It must be terribly stressful at times.’
‘I suppose it can be if you’re that type of person,’ Ian replied, positively preening under all the interest. ‘However, making life and death decisions comes easier to some than it does to others.’
‘I see. Obviously you find it easy—to make life-and-death decisions, I mean,’ Adam said mildly.
Beth bit her lip because she didn’t know whether to laugh or admonish him for the way he was leading Ian on. Couldn’t Ian see that he was being led like a lamb to the slaughter? Apparently not!
‘Oh, yes. I have no difficulty at all with that. The trick is to take a dispassionate view. Unfortunately, far too many doctors get emotionally involved with the people they treat.’
Ian was getting into his stride now as he expounded his views. ‘That’s a big mistake. One needs to think of them merely as cases. That way you can do your job far more efficiently.’
‘And James feels the same as you do?’ Adam inserted smoothly.
‘James?’ Ian repeated, before he suddenly paled. ‘You know James Dickinson, the consultant on Coronary Care?’
‘Yes. Sorry, didn’t I mention it before?’ Adam laughed deeply. ‘James and I go way back. We were at Guys together as housemen. We still keep in touch. In fact, I’m hoping to get together with him in the next couple of weeks. I must remember to mention that I met you. Patterson, wasn’t it? Senior registrar?’
‘I…um. Yes. Fine. Well, if you’ll excuse me.’ Ian hurried away, still muttering.
Beth took a deep breath and somehow managed to contain her mirth until they were safely inside the lift. ‘Oh, that was wonderful! I can’t believe that you did that, Adam. I can’t believe that Ian fell for it either!’
Adam smiled as the lift whizzed them down to the ground floor. ‘Everyone needs taking down a peg or two occasionally. Some deserve it more than others.’
‘Ian definitely deserved it! I can’t understand why I never realised how pompous and self-opinionated he is,’ she admitted ruefully. The lift reached the ground floor just then so they got out and walked towards the exit.
‘People always say that love is blind. I think that can apply to character as well as appearance,’ Adam observed as they left the building and walked back to the car.
Night had drawn in now and the light had dimmed to a blue-grey opalescence. There were few people about at that hour and those they passed seemed more concerned with their own affairs. It was a moment that simply invited confidences and Beth found herself suddenly eager to pour out the whole miserable story.
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