A Marriage Worth Waiting For
Susan Fox
When Selena Keith is injured in a car crash, Morgan Conroe demands she move into his home! Selena hasn't seen Morgan for two long years, though her love for him still burns strong…. Morgan has always been cool and controlled, but looking after Selena makes him realize what he let go before–and now that his Selena is home, he's not letting her go again….
Morgan’s low, gravelly drawl sent a bracing chill through her heart. “I’ve come to take you home.”
It took Selena a dizzy moment to register the shocking words. The hurt and frustration of both the present and the past reared up, and the pain in her head bloomed so quickly that she reflexively jerked up a hand to make it stop.
“Get some sleep. Everything’s taken care of.” Morgan’s gruff words sent a quake of happiness and relief through her groggy mind.
Everything’s taken care of translated to I’ll take care of you.
Susan Fox lives in Des Moines, Iowa, U.S.A. A lifelong fan of Westerns, cowboys and love stories with guaranteed happy endings, she tends to think of romantic heroes in terms of Stetsons and boots.
Fans may visit her Web site at www.susanfox.org (http://www.susanfox.org)
Books by Susan Fox
HARLEQUIN ROMANCE®
3788—BRIDE OF CONVENIENCE
3777—THE MARRIAGE COMMAND
3764—CONTRACT BRIDE
3740—THE PRODIGAL WIFE
A Marriage Worth Waiting For
Susan Fox
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE (#ue6de1418-7745-5471-afec-6b3dc3e95c4c)
CHAPTER TWO (#u97bb4624-8a61-555d-b3fd-4e585972afea)
CHAPTER THREE (#uae2eb21e-5fce-5285-a2f5-881af94334fe)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
SELENA KEITH had never been seriously injured before the wreck. She’d been waiting to make a left turn at an intersection when another car had run a red light and hit the driver’s side of her car just behind the door. Though she hadn’t broken any bones, her body had been soundly pummeled, as had her head. It felt at least six sizes too large, and the pain in it could go from dull to blinding in a punishing flash if she moved too suddenly or exerted herself at all.
She’d been in the hospital since late afternoon the day before. Little more than a half hour ago that morning she’d managed, with help, to get out of bed and sit in a chair for twenty whole minutes. The difficulty she’d had doing that small thing was as frightening for Selena as it seemed pitiful.
Where had her strength gone? Always vital and physically active, she was stunned at the helplessness she felt now. The stark realization of her own mortality had already laid her spirits as low as her battered body, but this weakness was truly alarming.
Her surprising depression over it mixed toxically with the homesickness she’d kept at bay for two years, and it took most of her puny strength to keep both in check. An ocean of tears churned like bile in her chest, threatening to drown her, but as she’d discovered, giving in to them drained what little energy she had and sent her body and head into such spasms of agony that she’d resolved not to cry.
If she’d sustained something more serious than a concussion, she might be able to accept a hospital stay with a bit more patience, but lying around so much over a knock on the head and a spectacular collection of bruises made her feel like a malingerer.
Selena’s eyelids dropped heavily shut barely a moment before she heard the door to her private hospital room open. She’d already grown accustomed to the relentless intrusion of nurses and medical staff, and since it was early yet for visitors, she didn’t bother to open her eyes. Perhaps one of the two nurses who’d just settled her back in bed after her little adventure had returned for something, but she was too exhausted to care.
It was the sound of boot heels on tile instead of the smart swick-swick of nurse’s shoes that alerted her. And then her heart registered the silent thunder of the one presence she’d never forget if she lived to be a hundred.
The approaching boot steps halted at her bedside. The subtle scents of leather and sunshine and the remembered hint of musky aftershave reached for her and sent a wave of longing and dread through her heart. The ocean of tears swelled higher to send a few stinging drops upward in a geyser that made her eyes burn.
“You look like hell.”
The gruff words were as gravelly as they were blunt. Morgan Conroe wasn’t the sort of man who used soft platitudes or made tactful observations, at least not with her.
That’s why she’d left Conroe Ranch. The fact that Morgan had never made a single effort to contact her since the day she’d driven away confirmed she’d made the right decision.
He’d never change his mind about her and she’d never been able to change what she’d stupidly felt for him, so the only sane thing to do had been to clear out. She rallied to protect herself.
“No one asked you to look,” she said, then forced her heavy eyelids to open. She knew she looked as weak and pitiful as she felt, so she needed to give some sign of strength to ward him off. “If you came to gloat, go ahead. Take a few jabs then go away.”
She made herself get the bold words out before she let herself focus on him, and she was instantly glad she had because the sight of him gave her a disheartening jolt. If she hadn’t already been weak, seeing him again would have made her weak. For women like her, men like this one defined the very essence of masculinity.
Hard-bitten and rugged, Morgan Conroe was the quintessential Westerner, a purebred Texan from the crown of his outlaw black Stetson to the bottoms of his underslung heels. Tough, masculine and arrogant, Morg was the kind of man who’d bleed Texas dirt or Lone Star crude if scratched. Part protector and defender of the weak, part vigilante, as autocratic as an old time cattle king, and far too volatile to trifle with or cross. And so overwhelmingly male that he was at least half Neanderthal, though far less predictable and safe.
His weathered face was so permanently tanned that it hinted at a Spanish ancestry, and his expression was, as usual, set in harsh lines. His high cheekbones and black hair emphasized those hints of ancestry, but his eyes were a deep, dark blue that could either frost the soul, or glow like blue flame. Rarely, oh so very rarely, did they go soft with tenderness or sparkle with amusement. It was far more common to see them glitter with irritation or displeasure. Or only a bit less often, to show a blue lightning flash of temper.
He had a certain gruff charm when he wanted to charm, but that was a rare thing, easily overlooked or forgotten since his no-nonsense, my-way-or-the-highway disposition was so prominent. It wasn’t in Morgan Conroe’s nature to be passive or ambivalent, or to bow or bend to anything or anyone less than his Maker. How she’d survived living under the same roof with him that last five years after she’d fallen so out of favor might qualify as the eighth wonder of the world.
His low, gravelly drawl sent a bracing chill through her heart. “I came to take you home.”
It took her a dizzy moment to register the shocking words. The hurt and frustration of both the present and the past reared up, and the pain in her head bloomed so quickly that she reflexively jerked up a hand to make it stop.
“Go away,” she whispered, and pressed a palm to her forehead as if to contain the explosion.
The big fingers that closed around her wrist as her weak arm gave out were hot and hard with thick calluses. Morgan lowered her arm to the bed and those hard fingers shifted to warmly clasp her hand. But then his other hand brushed lightly over the top of her head.
“Hurts, don’t it, baby.” The calm, growling statement sent a warm breath of comfort through her. “Just relax,” he said then murmured, almost to himself, “These damned concussions…”
The way he’d said it gave the impression that he was on her side, fighting the injury with her. Which put her heart in peril, though the hurt in her head distracted her from the full impact of that wary observation.
Remarkably, the harsh pain began to subside, and then that big, hard palm began to move in gentle, soothing strokes that avoided the tender place on her skull and reduced the knife blades of pain to a much less awful ache.
Memories of watching Morg with an injured or frightened animal ghosted through her thoughts. There was no one better with animals than Morgan, especially the little ones. For all his brusqueness with people, he had a certain magic with animals and children. The smaller and more helpless or hurt they were, the more they instinctively trusted him.
That was one of the many reasons she’d loved him once upon a time. At twelve, she’d idolized him. She’d been a skinny city kid whose flighty, neglectful mother had married his father. She’d been painfully shy and terrified of horses and cattle and the frightening roughness of ranch life.
But the much older Morg had been kind to her, and so patient that she’d followed him around and hung on his every word. He’d taught her the manly arts of riding, roping, fly-fishing and target shooting, but he’d also instructed her on how well-brought-up young ladies were expected to behave in public.
He’d passed judgment on the length of her hems, had private “man talks” with the boys who’d dared to take her on dates, and he’d taught her to dance. He’d taught her everything she’d needed to know, and he’d made sure she’d had a secure place in his family and in his world.
But all that changed a handful of years later when she’d developed a crush on him. As if he’d sensed it, he’d begun a subtle withdrawal. She no longer got to go everywhere with him. And then he hardly ever let her be around him in situations when they’d be alone.
Hurt by his remoteness, and those first inklings of rejection, Selena had tried all the more to be with him and take part in everything he did. Until that awful, awful time when she’d been seventeen, and frustration, youthful stupidity, and the excruciating pain of unrequited adolescent love had driven her to corner him and confess.
Even now, she couldn’t bear to let that memory come. But turning her mind away from it put her attention right back on the soothing movement of his hand. And the wild, sweet stirrings of the soul-deep feelings for Morgan Conroe that had matured years past adolescence and promised to be even more dangerous to her heart than ever.
Selena found the strength to pull her hand from his and weakly move her head. “S-stop. Please.”
Oh God, that had sounded just as forlorn as she felt. But it was torture to have him touch her like this—to touch her at all—when she knew there’d inevitably come a time when he’d again withdraw from her. And then if he somehow sensed how besotted she was—and in spite of everything, she was still besotted—he’d reject her as brutally as before.
“All right, little one.”
The low rasp went through her hurting body like a warm balm, and she felt the hypnotic pull on her heart. His big hand shifted away from her head, but the back of a knuckle trailed lightly down her cheek. Selena was too weak now to control the flutter of her closed lashes as the pleasure of that registered.
“Get some sleep. Everything’s taken care of.”
The gruff words sent a quake of happiness and relief through her groggy mind.
Everything’s taken care of translated to I’ll take care of you. Words she might have died to hear from him again, words that common sense warned her to immediately protest, but words too formidable to either reject or ignore in her feeble physical state.
Mercifully, the blackness dropped over her then and dragged her to a place where Morgan Conroe couldn’t follow.
“Mr. Conroe made arrangements for you to recover at your family’s home. I understand you’ll have someone nearby around-the-clock.”
The doctor’s statement rocked her, but before Selena could protest, his added words kept her silent.
“Otherwise, I couldn’t release you for at least another day.”
One of the cardinal rules she’d lived by all her life—to keep family dirt private—ensured her silence now. Growing up, she’d never mentioned family problems to outsiders because she’d been ashamed of her mother’s behavior and their gypsy life. Then after her mother had married Morgan’s father, she’d kept silent about her mother’s secrets, the fibs, the infidelities, the little manipulations.
She’d suffered her crush for her stepbrother without telling anyone, not even her mother, until she’d made the colossal mistake of telling Morgan himself. And of course, keeping to habit, she’d never told a soul about his angry rejection either.
So Selena felt even less inclined to inform the doctor that she had no “family” home. There was no reason for him to know that the only home she counted these days—or wanted—was her apartment.
The goal now was to get out of this depressing place. Once the doctor authorized her release, she’d call a cab and make a quick escape before Morgan came around again. He’d only been here that one time yesterday morning, so if she was lucky, she could be gone before he showed up again.
Obviously Morg had talked to the doctor about her release, but she hoped he’d done that over the phone. She’d had a friend bring her a set of clothes last night, though Selena hadn’t known for sure that she’d have a chance of being released today.
That morning she’d awakened with a bit more energy, so she felt more eager than ever to leave the hospital. Her IV had been removed, her take-home med would be ready soon, so the moment the doctor strode out, she called a cab company and gingerly slipped out of bed.
As she quickly discovered, it was a challenge to dress. The stiff pain that plagued her every move left her sitting weakly in the chair, her head spinning and her skin lightly sheened with perspiration.
If she could get to her apartment, she’d be fine. She’d be able to lie down and sleep uninterrupted. A day or so of quality rest and her body would surely begin to make real progress toward recovery. Just being home was bound lift her dismal spirits.
A nurse came in with a clipboard of papers for her to sign, and the flowers and plants that friends had brought or sent were loaded onto a cart while an aide gathered up a bag of her things, including her clothes from the wreck and the take-home painkiller.
In the midst of the efficient activity a wheelchair was brought into the room, and Selena gratefully moved to it from the chair. The tiny parade of cart and wheelchair rolled rapidly through the maze of corridors and elevators to arrive on the sidewalk outside the outpatient door.
She’d made it. There was no sign of Morgan and neither the nurse nor the aide commented on the taxi, so perhaps they’d either not been informed of the doctor’s requirements for her release or they’d assumed the taxi would take her to the “family” home.
Selena was certain she could manage on her own, whatever the doctor thought, as long as she didn’t have to go out for anything. Friends had already volunteered to come by and give her a hand or pick up a few groceries when she needed them. All she had to do was get home.
Just then a dark green Suburban pulled into the pick up zone and glided to a halt behind the taxi. Selena didn’t need to see the Conroe Ranch logo on the side to know Morgan had arrived to thwart her plan.
He left the engine running and got out, taking a moment to walk briskly to the cab driver. A quick word and a handshake, which she knew would discretely pass the driver a large denomination bill for his trouble, effectively closed her single avenue of escape. And then Morg was striding around the back of the taxi to where she and her things were parked by the curb.
Morgan’s low, “Hey there, Selly,” and the faint smile that softened the harsh line of his mouth implied friendship and closeness, and Selena’s gaze shot away from his. The sweet nostalgia of hearing him call her by the old nickname caught her by surprise and brought back a wealth of good times best forgotten that contrasted sharply with her anger at him now.
The weariness that gripped her only stoked her outrage at his high-handedness and her failure to thwart it. Both the nostalgic feelings and her anger combined to create a churn of upset that drained her even more. Her head was pounding again, and all she wanted to do was crawl into a cave somewhere to escape both the pain and all things Conroe.
As Morgan directed the nurse and the aide to wheel her and the cart to his SUV, Selena felt her frustration rush higher. She couldn’t imagine what all this was about. For more than two years, she’d heard nothing directly from Morg, though she knew he had her address because she received profit checks from her small share of Conroe Ranch.
In two years there’d been no communication, certainly no apology or overture of friendship, but suddenly here he was, barging into her life as if he had some right to. That was hard enough to understand, but he clearly meant to take over.
Because she wasn’t certain how much the nurse knew about the conditions of her release, the last thing Selena wanted was for her to involve the doctor, so it was best to say nothing now. Morgan had easily guessed that, and she hated the power that gave him.
Morgan handled the nurse with the gallant good ol’ boy charm he used to his advantage, and Selena waited impotently as the nurse set the wheelchair brake and flipped the footrests out of the way. With the woman’s help, Selena stood to her feet.
Morgan opened the passenger door, then turned to her. Selena tried not to flinch when he took her elbow.
Her quiet, “I want to go home, Morg,” made his faintly smiling expression harden the tiniest bit. No one looking on would note that, but she had because she’d learned well from long experience to recognize that first wisp of storm cloud.
“We’ll stop by your place to pick up a few things.”
Selena didn’t say another word, but she had no intention of picking up anything or going anywhere but her apartment. The ride to her building wouldn’t take too long. Once she was there and no one was around to hear, she’d simply make it clear to Morgan that she wouldn’t go to the ranch.
If all else failed, she should at least be able to lock herself in her bedroom and climb into bed. It aggravated her to think she was capable of so little, but since she was fading fast now, she was certain to fall instantly to sleep the moment she laid down. And once she was comfortably settled, she doubted very much that Morg would take her out of bed and carry her off. He was familiar enough with injuries and concussions to know how vital rest was.
Selena was forced to allow Morgan’s supporting hand as she took the two small steps from her wheelchair. Once she had, she pulled away and tried to get a handhold to climb up into the tall vehicle.
Morgan gently caught her, managing to pick her up and place her on the seat without hurting her. Though she would have liked to object, the rational part of her brain was grateful she hadn’t had to climb up under her own power.
Morgan swiftly buckled her seat belt before she could do it for herself, then backed away to firmly close the passenger door while Selena struggled against the excitement that lingered simply because she’d been in his arms a few seconds. She’d actually felt the tingling heat through her clothes when the back of his fingers skimmed across her stomach and hip as he’d secured her seat belt.
After days of hurting and years of secretly missing him, being held and touched by Morgan had been completely welcome and wonderful, so wonderful that she’d have to work harder than ever to keep him from guessing his effect on her.
Selena waited, her head leaned against the headrest and her eyes closed as Morg opened the back of the big vehicle to put her flowers and plants inside. She heard the rattle of the plastic bag, then the solid thud of the door closing. A few seconds later, Morgan was getting in on the driver’s side. He buckled up then slowly pulled the big vehicle away from the curb. The effortless movement of the SUV as it accelerated pressed her back into the seat.
Her headaches had been mellowing, but after this small exertion just now, her head ached with a vengeance. That’s when the significance of riding in a vehicle struck her and she opened her eyes to uneasily watch the street beyond the windshield, particularly upcoming intersections.
Though the high profile SUV was quite unlike her much smaller car—her totally wrecked car—she was on edge. And though the big vehicle moved smoothly, the growing dizziness the movement caused made her faintly nauseous.
It seemed to take forever to go the three miles to her apartment building, and by the time they got there, Selena was carsick. Reluctant to move even after Morgan parked at the curb, Selena concentrated on breathing steadily as she waited for the nausea to calm.
“Why the hell didn’t you say something?”
There was a wealth of impatience in Morgan’s growl, but also a wealth of regret that Selena tried to ignore. The good part about getting carsick was that Morgan would surely see that she’d never be able to tolerate the long drive to the ranch. At least there’d be no need to summon the energy to oppose him.
“You told me never to give the time of day to men who swear in my presence.” She took what satisfaction she could in the brief silence before he spoke.
“You’re like a cat in the wild that’s got hurt and can’t afford to look weak. Puff up and growl as much as you like.” The blunt words were, as usual, dead on. “How much food have you got on your stomach?”
“Want to find out?” The bit of defiance actually helped mellow her roiling middle. The interior of the big vehicle went silent again except for the muted rumble of the engine and the faint whir of the air-conditioning.
The subtle vibration of the idling engine probably prevented a quicker recovery from the nausea, but at last it ebbed and Selena wearily lifted her head from the headrest and forced her eyes to open.
Morgan took that as a sign she was ready, because he got out of the truck and came around to her side. She managed to get her keys out of her handbag, but when he opened the passenger door, he smoothly took them. She was about to climb down on her own when he reached for her.
Selena braced a hand against his chest to ward him off. “I can walk.”
Morgan took her hand and cautiously lifted it to wrap her arm around his neck.
“That hurt?”
Selena glared into his blue gaze. “I said, I can walk.”
“It’ll hurt less to pick you up from here than it will be when those knees give out.” With that, Morg plucked her off the seat, stepped back, then pushed the passenger door closed with his boot.
This time his musky aftershave scent filled her nostrils and the sensation of being cradled securely against him made her hurting body forget its various aches and pains.
The cotton of his shirt did little more than add a textured veneer over the warm, hard flesh and iron muscle of the shoulders beneath her bare forearm and palm. Selena tried to keep her gaze away from Morgan’s harsh profile as he effortlessly strode up the front walk to the door of her building.
She was a flyweight for a man like him, and the stark awareness of his brutelike masculinity made her feel fully feminine and helplessly attracted.
In no time they were past the security door. Morgan, of course, had managed to use her passkey to open the door without putting her down. When they reached her first floor apartment, he did the same thing.
Selena expected him to set her on her feet once they were inside her door, but he walked through the tiny entryway into the living room then on toward the short hall that led to her bedroom.
Her soft, “Wait,” brought him to a halt.
“You need a nap.”
Selena made a restless move, and was relieved when Morgan set her on her feet.
“After you’re gone,” she told him, then moved to a nearby armchair to sit down. “I’d be grateful if you’d bring in my things before you start back to the ranch.”
Selena heard the impatient rattle of her keys in his hand and she knew the significance of his silence in the wake of her none-too-subtle invitation to leave. He’d not responded to it verbally because he didn’t waste breath on what he called “pointless arguments.”
Of course, Morgan Conroe defined “pointless arguments” as ones that centered on what he called “settled facts,” which was something akin to the legal term “settled law.”
And on Conroe Ranch, Morgan’s word was very much settled law. That attitude had been bred into him by generations of autocratic forbearers, and made him almost too formidable to take on. But she’d have to.
Selena could only hope to somehow scrape up the strength—and sadly, the will—to stand up to him. She couldn’t allow herself to be dragged back into his sphere of absolute rule.
CHAPTER TWO
SELENA couldn’t relax until she heard Morgan walk out of her apartment to get her things. Once he was gone, she leaned her head back against the chair cushion.
A year and a half ago, she would have loved to have had him barge into her life like this, but back then she’d only been gone from Conroe Ranch six months. Six months was almost nothing for men as stubborn as Morgan, and during that time she’d still had hope they could somehow be reconciled. She’d never truly understood why he’d continued to freeze her out those last years.
But that first six months had dragged into seven, then on into eight, then into a year, pounding home and confirming the painful idea that her life at Conroe Ranch was well and truly over, and that she and Morgan would be permanently estranged.
It had taken monumental effort to move on, but she’d done it and she wasn’t about to let herself think it could ever be possible to go back. Morgan was too harsh and unbending to ever again trust his friendship. If she ever gave any indication of attraction, he might freeze her out again, and she’d be faced with another painful struggle to get over it.
After all, Morgan’s out-of-the-blue intrusion into her life might only be because he’d found out she’d been hurt and he’d felt a bit of leftover family obligation to her. She wasn’t surprised by that because his sense of family and duty were two more things about him that she’d admired and been in love with while she’d still felt secure in that magic circle of privilege.
Since neither of them had much family left beyond a handful of distant cousins they rarely saw, his showing up now was probably more because of that than anything else.
Even so, why would he bother? She hadn’t been family to him for years, not since that time when she’d been seventeen and spoiled everything between them. Her mother and his father had passed away by the time she’d moved from the ranch and after two years of no contact, Morgan shouldn’t even have found out this soon about her accident, much less put in an appearance. If ever.
Selena was finally too weary to try to figure it out. It felt so good to simply sit there and feel herself sink into the warm comfort of the chair that she was dozing before she realized it.
The next thing she knew, she was being lifted.
“Oh, would you leave me alone.” The plea was as weak and drowsy as she felt, but Morgan didn’t so much as hesitate as he strode to the hall then walked on into her bedroom.
She didn’t have the physical strength to fight him, and her heart quailed at the realization because Morgan’s nearness and attention after so long of being starved for even a crumb of care from him was almost impossible to resist.
But then he was laying her on the bed and she stirred enough to realize that he’d managed to pull down the comforter and top sheet. Her eyelids were too heavy to open so she lay there, unable to rally a protest as he made quick work of her shoes then pulled the covers over her.
As suddenly as if someone had switched off a lamp, Selena fell deeply asleep.
She’d slept the day away, and it worried him. He’d almost paged the doctor, but when he was able to rouse her and she’d muttered, “Go away,” Morgan decided she was resting naturally.
Once she woke up, she’d feel like hell after sleeping in her clothes, but there was nothing he could do about that. If he’d gotten her to the ranch, there’d be women around to help her with things like nightgowns.
And bathing. He doubted she could stand up by herself very long, especially on a slippery shower surface, so she’d need help or close supervision. He couldn’t handle that for her either. He’d spent too many years keeping on his side of that line, and he didn’t expect to ever cross it.
The reminder made him wonder again why he was here, why he was doing this, but he didn’t let himself think too deeply on that subject. The tension in his gut was proof of something; instinct warned him to leave it alone.
All he wanted to see was that he’d gotten a call and he’d been compelled to do something for Selena. She didn’t have family who’d close around her at a time like this, so he’d had to at least look in on her. That was explanation enough for why he was here. That and the fact that she might have been killed.
Most of the time, he didn’t let himself think about Selena Keith. But the notion that she’d had a brush with death—and if the impact had hit the driver’s side door just a little more squarely, she might have died—had given him a peculiar sense of foreboding that still rode him hard.
Though he rarely allowed himself think about her, he suspected it was partly because he’d known exactly where she’d been all this time, that she was making her own way and doing well. Until now, he’d let it be enough to know she was somewhere within easy reach. If he’d ever felt inclined to see her, he’d known where to look.
She was still on that same invisible tether he suspected they might always have between them, but her brush with death had jolted that sense of connection. He’d suddenly known that if he didn’t do something to take up the slack between them—and quick—that their invisible tether might snap.
It was a hell of a way to feel, a hell of a thing to want to keep, and it made him restless. There was nothing useful to do in her apartment but wait for her to wake up. He’d looked closer at the pictures in the hall that he’d noticed earlier, seen a couple of himself and felt a sharp nick of regret, then turned on her TV to channel-surf and check the weather and market forecasts. He finally made a few business calls including one to the ranch, before he settled sullenly in her living room to wait.
When suppertime finally came around, he found her phone book, called a restaurant to place a carryout order, then left the apartment to pick it up.
Selena focused blurrily on the alarm clock on her night table. It was 6:00 p.m. She lay there a few moments more, listening, but the apartment was silent. It was the kind of silence that told her she was alone, so she slowly got up, grateful Morgan had gone.
She went to her dresser for fresh underwear and a T-shirt and jeans then walked into the bathroom, pleased that she felt stronger. Nevertheless, by the time she took a quick shower and washed her hair, she was worn out.
Selena sat out in her bedroom on a chair to blow-dry her hair and tried to remember what she had in the kitchen to eat. Her arms tired long before her thick mane of straight hair was completely dry, but it would finish rapidly enough on its own. Since eating something would go a long way to boosting her strength, she got up to make her way to the kitchen.
The moment she stepped into the hall, she heard the apartment door open. Her heart sank as the sound of bootsteps confirmed that Morgan must only have gone out for a while. She’d forgotten he still had her keys so of course he’d be able to come and go at will.
Morgan was just walking into the kitchen from the entryway as she stepped in from the hall. The boxes of hot food he was carrying had the name of a local steak house stamped on the side, so he’d evidently gone out to pick up supper.
The rich, meaty aroma of marinated beef made her stomach clench with real hunger. Hospital food hadn’t appealed to her at all, and now suddenly she was starved. Morgan’s voice was gruff.
“If you’ve got an appetite, this’ll fix it.” And then his blue gaze made a head to toe sweep of her and his neutral expression went stony.
He’d noticed that she’d showered, and it was clear he took a dim view of that. At least he’d kept his disapproval to himself. On the other hand, she couldn’t have missed reading it in his face so he’d communicated as efficiently as if he’s said it out loud.
“Sit down wherever you want and I’ll bring it to you.”
Selena felt her heart shrink in self-protection. “Morgan…I appreciate the food, but after we eat…” She let her voice trail off. She sounded ungrateful enough without adding some version of “you’ll have to leave,” but Morgan knew exactly what she’d left out.
“We’ll discuss it later,” he growled, and Selena was reminded of how very often he growled or was gruff. And also that Morgan rarely “discussed” anything. She wasn’t too sure he knew the definition of the word, at least not the dictionary one.
She offered a lame-sounding, “We can sit at the table.”
“This one or the one in the front room?”
Selena felt an unexpected spark of amusement that she concealed. “The front room,” she said, though she was referring to the apartment’s combination living room/dining room.
For all his wealth and business finesse, Morgan had a very informal manner of speech, along with a few down-home expressions that only a handful of people used anymore. His big house had an old-fashioned parlor that was rarely used, a dining room, a family room, and a living room he called the “front room.”
Since her living room/dining room was nearest the street, he’d of course refer to it the same way. Household terms weren’t a priority for Morgan, and he had a way of making himself understood that didn’t encourage him to amend his vocabulary. And anyway, he hired others to pay attention to those kinds of things because his domain was the outdoors.
Morgan waited for her to lead the way into the dining room end of the “front room” while he followed with the food boxes.
“D’you still eat medium rare?” he asked as she sat down and he put the boxes on the table.
Selena nodded then remembered they’d need something to drink. She braced her palms on the edge of the table and stood stiffly.
His low, “Now what?” made her glance his way.
“I’ll make some coffee. Or get sodas if you’d prefer those.”
“I’ll get the sodas. You can tell me how to make coffee later.” He opened one of the boxes and set out a cardboard plate of steak and vegetables in front of her. “Looks like I’d better get some decent plates. Where at?”
Selena sank back down, secretly relieved he was taking over. “Plates are in the cupboard to the left of the sink, glasses are in the one on the right. Silverware’s in the drawer next to the stove.”
When he went off to get them, Selena eyed the wonderful steak, baked potato and steamed vegetables on her plate. She reached for a pea pod and had a taste, then felt a surprising rush of emotion. Her head hurt, she felt weak again, and she was so hungry she felt like picking up the steak in her bare hands and taking a big bite. Most of all, she was confused by all this, confused by Morgan.
Though she’d been warned that her emotions might be a little precarious for a while, she was stunned by the stinging nettle of tears that blurred everything and made her want to sob. Somehow she managed to get control of them, but the consequence of that was a pounding headache.
Morgan came back in with plates, silverware and glasses, thunked it all on the table, then set about shifting her food from the disposable plate to one of the plain white china plates he’d brought in. He did a surprisingly deft job, then opened one of the other boxes and took out a paper bag of Texas toast slices that he tore open and set within easy reach.
He left to go back to the kitchen for a tray of ice cubes, which he brought to the table, and two cans of soda. Since it would be impolite to start eating before Morgan was ready, Selena fidgeted a little as she waited for him to finish putting ice in the glasses and opening the sodas. She reached for one of the paper napkins he’d taken out and spread it on her lap to keep herself from grabbing a piece of toast.
As if he’d guessed she was starved and almost couldn’t wait, Morgan’s gruff, “Dig in,” was a profound relief. She did just that as he transferred his own food from one plate to another, then sat down to cut into his steak.
Selena practically inhaled those first few bites. She hadn’t cared about butter or sour cream until Morgan belatedly reached into one of the boxes to set out little containers of each. When he did, she took one of the sour creams and emptied it on her potato.
Just like meals at the ranch, this one was silent. Because the work there was hard, the appetites were large and by the time they’d sat down to a meal, everyone was too busy eating to waste time on talk until later in the meal. Morgan was also a creature of relentlessly entrenched habits, so Selena was grateful to take advantage of that and get as much of her own meal down as possible before there was a chance for any appetite-spoiling words.
She was almost finished before she finally began to feel full. Morgan was still methodically working his way through the food on his plate, but he paused to watch as she reached for her glass of soda and had a first taste.
“I saw your pictures in the hall.”
The low words dropped like a firecracker in the quiet room, and Selena nearly choked on her drink. She hastily set the glass down and grabbed her napkin to lift it and briefly touch her lips. She’d forgotten all about the photo collection. Most were of friends, one was of Pepper Candy, her favorite Appaloosa filly. Another was a photo of her mother and Morgan’s father, but two were of Morgan.
Though both were evidence of the foolish adoration she’d probably feel for him the rest of her life, at least they were scattered among the others and not placed tellingly on her bedroom wall or dresser.
Thank God she’d limited the display to her two favorites, because she had several more tucked away in one of the photo albums she’d done of Conroe Ranch.
“I saw the one of Pepper Candy. She foaled a while back. I’ll bring them to the house so you can have a look when you come home.”
There it was. The opening salvo she’d been expecting that would have stolen her appetite if she’d not just finished her meal. He’d bear down now.
“I can’t go to the ranch,” she said quietly.
“Now that you’ve had a good meal, you won’t get carsick.” His brisk statement was a refusal to acknowledge the real reason she didn’t want to go home with him.
“That’s not the issue,” she persisted softly.
“The issue is doctor’s orders, Sel,” he said grimly and she had to force herself to maintain eye contact with the somber look he was giving her. He was a heartbeat away from the harsh expression that signaled he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“I’m not an invalid.”
“Head injuries are nothing to mess with. If you’re afraid of me, I can bunk someplace else for the next week. You won’t have to see me.”
If you’re afraid of me…
She flinched inwardly and glanced away because he’d hit the mark. But then, he didn’t need to use any real intuition to guess that since she’d probably made it clear enough that she was afraid of him. Or rather, afraid to be around him. Not because she thought there was even a remote chance he’d hurt her physically, but because it was her heart that was at risk. She made herself look at him again.
“Why are you doing this, Morg?”
“Damned if I know,” he growled, “but it’s time, Selly. You’ve grown up, and you’ve still got your cut of Conroe. Wouldn’t hurt you to spend a little time there once in a while. You liked it well enough once, and that won’t have changed.”
No it hadn’t changed; it would never change. Selena had loved the ranch, and she was still too often homesick for it. Conroe Ranch had been her first real home, the first place in her life where she’d felt accepted, cared about, and completely secure.
Morgan had given her that, and what child wouldn’t fall in love with everything—and everyone—connected to the place where she’d had such emotional abundance? And yet without her memories of Morgan and his goodness to her, along with a few others, Conroe Ranch would be just another massive piece of Texas, then and now.
He’d offered to keep his distance while she was there, but it was an empty offer. His essence permeated everything, so there’d be no avoiding him, not really. Perhaps it was because she’d stayed silent so long that he decided to press.
“Miss Em and Miss Minna can’t wait for you to get there. They made up your room yesterday, and they’ve been baking all day today.”
The mention of Em and Minna Peat, the old maid sisters who’d taken care of the Conroe ranch house since Morgan was a toddler, sent a wide sweep of emotion through her that made her eyes sting again.
The Peat sisters lived to cook and clean and spoil every visitor to Conroe Ranch, and they’d both spoiled her. Selena still sent cards at birthdays and gifts at Christmas to the sisters, and she received an occasional chatty letter from them that she always had to answer carefully.
Selena gave her head a weary shake. “Why did you tell them?” Feeling trapped and teary, she put her napkin beside her plate and started to get to her feet. Morgan’s hand flashed out to gently catch her wrist before she could.
“It’s time to come home, Selena.”
The soft burr in his low voice sent a persuasive warmth through her that threatened her precarious emotions even more. And it was all she could do to withstand the sweet tingles that shivered through her just because his big hand was tenderly shackling her wrist.
Her voice was a whisper. “You fight dirty.”
“I can. When I’m after something I want.”
His calm pronouncement was no earth-shattering surprise, and neither was the wild leap of her foolish heart. This wasn’t personal, at least not in the way she used to dream it might someday be. This wasn’t anything romantic on Morgan’s part, not in the slightest.
Taking her to Conroe Ranch was something he felt obligated to do because he felt a certain duty to her. His father had been married to her mother, and they’d lived under the same roof and worked together for years. It wouldn’t matter that they’d been estranged for far longer than the two years she’d been gone from the ranch. Not when Morgan felt a responsibility to her.
She was well aware that if news of the accident hadn’t brought her name back into his mind, apart from quarterly checks and at tax time, Morgan might have gone on for years more—perhaps for the rest of her life—without ever wanting to contact her or even thinking of contacting her.
Or thinking about her at all.
Selena knew all that because it was the brutal, unvarnished truth. She also knew, despite Morgan’s insistence that this was “doctor’s orders,” that she had a choice. She could either refuse to go, or she could give in and let him take her to the ranch.
Her heart shook with a crazy mix of terror and groundless hope at the idea of going with him, of being with him. It was because of that groundless hope that she realized what she needed to do. Perhaps she hadn’t been hurt enough before. Perhaps what she truly needed to forever inoculate herself against Morgan Conroe was to again put her heart in harm’s way for one final devastation. She’d got over the first one, so she’d surely know how to get over him a second time if she had to.
“I meant what I said about bunking someplace else while you’re there,” he said, and she tried not to let herself show her reaction as his callused thumb brushed impatiently against the tender underside of her wrist.
“N-no need,” she said, then gave her wrist a tug that prompted him to release her. She hoped he hadn’t noticed the small stutter. “I suppose you’d rather not wait until morning.”
“You’ve only got one bed.”
“What if I’m carsick again?”
“Then we’ll either come back here, stop as often as you need to, or find a motel for the night and try it again tomorrow.”
Selena stood up stiffly. “We’ll see how I feel after I pack my things,” she said, and turned away to start for the bedroom.
The hearty meal had perked her up significantly, so it wasn’t such an ordeal to pack. When she finished, Selena sat down in the armchair to rest for a few moments. She noticed the blow-dryer she’d left sitting nearby, so she reached for it to wrap up the cord and put it in her suitcase.
Once upon a golden time she and Morgan been friends, good friends. Once upon a golden time, she’d worshiped the ground he walked on. And once upon that same golden time, he hadn’t minded.
In her head, Selena knew that her once upon a time had burned away long ago. But in her heart, once upon a time was still a last magic wish that lingered on in a tantalizing mirage over a future yet to be seen.
Maybe it would take going back to Conroe Ranch and seeing it all from the perspective of two years away that would knock a little of the golden glow from that sweetly remembered time.
And perhaps it was because she was hurting and weary and in a deeply emotional and sentimental mood that she was going back. It could even be because it was an instinct to retreat to a place of remembered security when you were feeling weak and needy. Though she was certain she’d regret this, Selena couldn’t seem to muster the will to tell Morgan no and make it stick.
CHAPTER THREE
THE long drive to Conroe Ranch went well, mostly because Selena slept most of the way. It was almost midnight by the time they drove up to the big ranch house.
Because she’d insisted that Morgan not tell the Peat sisters they’d be coming tonight, there was no big welcome when he walked her into the house.
But the price of waiting until morning to inform the sisters, who lived in the east wing of the big house, was that Morgan insisted on carrying her upstairs to her room. Once he’d deposited her on the edge of the bed, he went back down to bring up her suitcases, then hovered to help her hang up the clothes that might wrinkle.
It was strange and a little touching to watch Morgan tipping a clothes hanger this way and that as he tried to get one of her blouses properly hung. If the blouse had been made of a heavier, less delicate fabric, he probably wouldn’t have taken that kind of awkward care.
He was intent on performing the minor task and so slow that she managed to get the few other things on hangers by the time he finished and held up the blouse for her approval.
“It looks good,” she said. “Thank you.”
Morgan reached for the ones she’d done, and carried them into the big, walk-in closet to hook on one of the rods. The rest could wait till morning, though he’d opened one of her suitcases on the low chest at the foot of her bed and the other on a luggage rack that must have been brought in when the sisters had made up the room.
“I’ve got a set of walkie-talkies downstairs,” he told her. “I’ll bring ’em up while you get ready for bed. Shall I get Em or Minna?”
Selena had sat down on the edge of the mattress to wait for him to leave because her strength was waning again and she was eager to get some sleep. “No, I’m all right.”
“Still dizzy?” His blue gaze flickered over her then searched her face.
“A little. It’s not unexpected.”
An odd kind of silence surged between them as they stared at each other, separated by little more than a yard of carpet. Selena caught an inkling of…something…in his somber gaze, something gentle and yet not quite gentle, something that gave her a warm quiver of pleasure deep down.
Morgan was the first to look away and that took her a little by surprise.
“I’ll get those radios,” he said, then strode out of the room into the hall, taking that breathless moment with him and leaving her with the idea that she’d imagined it as she listened to him walk down the hall and go down the stairs.
Selena stood and turned to pull down the bedspread and top sheet, then walked over to rummage through one of her suitcases to get out her things for bed.
The big house had never felt so full, and yet so…private. It was midnight and the Peat sisters must have been asleep for hours now. Without their chatter and beehive activity, the invisible tether between him and Selena had drawn tight. Suddenly he felt her everywhere, and that’s what gave the big house an almost tangible sense of fullness.
Morgan was a little shocked by that. He was even more shocked by what had come over him just now in Selly’s room.
One moment he’d been looking at her, seeing the weariness about her, then the next he’d noticed how long and thick her dark, glossy hair was. She wore it parted in the middle and kept it as straight as a board, but she wore it longer now, and it went halfway down her back.
Her eyes weren’t just blue anymore, they were the exact color of a warm spring sky, and recognizing that likeness made him feel as good as he’d ever felt at the welcome sight of spring skies. Her skin was pale these days. Partly because she’d been hurt and was feeling puny, but mostly because she wasn’t outdoors from dawn to dusk anymore.
Her boyish shape had filled out into what he considered womanhood in its prime. Had she been a filly with that much spectacular confirmation, he’d start her on a breeding program to pass on those spectacular qualities. He’d already be considering the right stud to match her to.
The crude analogy sent a fresh stroke of lust straight south. But he wasn’t some stud driven by biology and animal instinct, so he clamped down hard on the smoldering sensation.
By the time he got the radios upstairs, he was so in control of himself that he might as well have been carved of ice. Selena must have been in the bathroom, since the door was closed.
He didn’t bother to call out a good-night. No sense giving himself another opportunity to hear the soft sound of her voice, or chance she’d come out and he’d see her in her nightclothes or robe. He didn’t want to know what she wore to bed, didn’t want that picture in his brain. It was late, and the soft light in her bedroom seemed to encourage enough notions that neither of them needed to fool with.
He could listen from the hall, and when he heard her moving around, he’d take it as a sign she was all right. The long moments that passed until he heard her come out into the bedroom made him restless. Maybe he ought to sleep someplace away from the house after all.
But when he considered how powerfully he’d reacted to Selena a few minutes ago, Morgan realized that distancing himself from her after this might mean that he’d have to sleep in Houston.
It was after 11:00 a.m. before Selena awoke that next morning. Except for a low grade headache, she felt much less stiff and achy than she had the day before, particularly after she moved around and got dressed.
When she walked down the back stairs, Em and Minna heard her coming, and were waiting when she reached the bottom of the enclosed staircase.
“Well, lookit our Selena,” Em said, then wrapped Selena in a warm hug before she drew back to look Selena over. “She’s pale in the face, but that’s as much a city look as anything.”
Minna was next. “She looks mighty good for a gal who coulda died,” she said before she too enveloped Selena in a big hug.
“She sure does,” Em chimed in, “and I bet she’s starved.” Then to Selena, “We’ve got anything you want to eat, you just say what.”
“Whatever you planned for lunch is fine with me,” Selena said.
“Then pick where you want to eat,” Em said.
“We can set you up on the sofa in the family room,” Minna offered. “You might be more comfortable in there anyway.”
“What do you want Minna to bring you to drink?”
Selena smiled at the double barrage. “Iced tea, but I can take it in myself,” Selena told her, and Em drew back as if offended.
“You’ll do no such thing,” Em declared. “The boss said we need to baby you a few days, feed you good and see you get plenty of rest.”
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