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The Nanny's Christmas Wish
Ami Weaver


Josh Tanner and Maggie Thelan share one unbreakable rule: No romantic entanglements. Period.So the lonely doctor hiring the former teacher as a live-in nanny for his little boy shouldn't be any kind of threat to their creed. Especially since Josh won't let go of the past – and Maggie can't tell Josh who she really is…But rules are made to be broken, and while Maggie only wants to know the nephew she never knew she had, deeper feelings keep getting in the way! As the holiday season creeps closer, his rules collide with her secret.Can their unexpected love survive the truth?







In her debut novel for Harlequin Special Edition, Ami Weaver gives a lonely single dad and his sweet son the perfect holiday gift—a nanny with a secret who just might heal their family in time for Christmas!

Josh Tanner and Maggie Thelan share one unbreakable rule: no romantic entanglements. Period. So the lonely doctor hiring the former teacher as a live-in nanny for his little boy shouldn’t be any kind of threat to their creed. Especially since Josh won’t let go of the past—and Maggie can’t tell Josh who she really is….

But rules are made to be broken, and while Maggie only wants to know the nephew she never knew she had, deeper feelings keep getting in the way! As the holiday season creeps closer, his rules collide with her secret. Can their unexpected love survive the truth?




“I’ll come.”


Did her voice just tremble? “Thanksgiving,” she clarified. “Thank you for the invite.” She turned to go upstairs before she made a fool of herself when the tears came.

“You’re going to cry,” he said softly and there was an undertone of horror that would have made her laugh under different circumstances.

Josh couldn’t help it. Those big blue eyes shimmering with tears simply did him in. He touched her face, the warm satin of her skin. Smelled the fresh, fruity scent of shampoo from her still-damp hair. Heard her sharp intake of breath as her hand came up to rest on his chest, but she didn’t pull away. His gaze locked on her blue one, and he saw his own desire reflected in hers. The wanting twined around them, silky, sweet and hot.

Dangerous.


Dear Reader,

You are holding my very first Mills & Boon Cherish! This book is near and dear to my heart in so many ways. I love Maggie and Josh and Cody and am so glad I get to bring them to you.

Sometimes, we encounter a secret that isn’t ours to carry but in the process of trying to deal with the problem, we make it worse! That’s what’s happened to Maggie as she hires on as her nephew’s nanny—without telling his very hunky father her (recently discovered) link to his deceased wife. While she just wants to get to know Cody and learn a little about his mother, her half sister, she quickly realizes she’s in way deeper than she planned!

Josh’s decision to remain single is iron-clad until he hires Maggie. His guilt over his wife’s death—and the role he feels he played in it—has eaten at him for years. Maggie is wonderful with Cody and, without even trying, makes Josh question the wisdom of keeping his heart locked up tight.

And there’s Cody, of course—an adorable little boy who wants nothing more than for Maggie to be his mom and for them to be a family. Throw in some snow, cookies and the wonder of the Christmas season, and there is magic to be made!

I hope you enjoy Josh and Maggie’s story. I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me through my website www.amiweaver.com (http://www.amiweaver.com) or find me on Twitter at @writerlygirl.

Happy Holidays!

Ami Weaver


The Nanny’s Christmas Wish

Ami Weaver






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


Two-time Golden Heart


Award finalist AMI WEAVER has been reading romance since she was a teen and writing for even longer, so it was only natural she would put the two together. Now she can be found drinking gallons of iced tea at her local coffee shop while doing one of her very favorite things—convincing two characters they deserve their happy-ever-after. When she’s not writing, she enjoys time spent at the lake, hanging out with her family and reading. Ami lives in Michigan with her four kids, three cats and her very supportive husband.


For Stacy, my long-ago writing partner—

so you won’t forget our early stories.

Thanks for being a good friend for so many years.


Contents

Chapter One (#u59680e38-09d2-535a-94ba-09400ad5a03b)

Chapter Two (#u037e05bb-dccc-5785-860a-6ae81d3a0968)

Chapter Three (#udbccd54f-ca4a-556b-8dc1-6d7da9f59fb3)

Chapter Four (#u391d1721-142c-57b5-be5a-d7d6104bac3b)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)


Chapter One

Thirty-Eight Easton Street. Maggie Thelan double-checked the address on the big blue Victorian with the sticky note on the steering wheel. Her pulse kicked up a bit as she eased the car to the curb.

She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm the butterflies in her belly. Cody, her nephew, lived here. Her half sister, Lucy, had lived here until her death. It would be Maggie’s home during her stint as Cody’s nanny.

If she got the job.

No way am I missing this chance. She grabbed her purse and keys and checked her reflection in the rearview mirror. Hair behaving, mascara not smeared, all good. She did a quick application of lip gloss and wondered for the millionth time if she shared her Black Irish coloring—dark hair, blue eyes, pale skin—with her half sister.

With any luck there’d be a photo out for Maggie to see. Anticipation quivered through her as she threw open the car door.

She’d gotten through the first interview just fine. Cody’s grandmother, Ellen Tanner, was a lovely woman, warm and friendly and concerned about her grandson’s welfare. This time, she’d meet Cody and his father and hopefully walk away with the job.

She’d staked everything on it.

Not wanting to think about that, Maggie hurried up the walk, her ponytail blowing over her shoulder in the wind. Being October in northern Michigan, the breeze had a bite to it but the sun still held some warmth. The maple trees on the front lawn blazed gold and flame.

A couple of squat pumpkins sat on the front porch. Maggie stepped around them and up to the heavy front door.

She pressed the doorbell and the door opened almost instantly, causing her to take a big step back and stumble over one of the pumpkins behind her. “Whoa,” said a deep voice, and he grabbed her elbow before she ended up smashing the pumpkin under her rear. She pitched forward and felt a firm, broad chest under her cheek. He smelled of clean laundry and soap. Warmth seeped through his blue oxford dress shirt.

Or maybe that was her face, burning with embarrassment.

Smooth, Maggie, real smooth. She stepped back, carefully this time, cleared her throat and promptly forgot what she’d been about to say as her gaze traveled up.

Oh, he was tall, north of six feet and broad, with light brown hair that curled slightly at the nape. And his eyes. Damn if she hadn’t just lost her voice in those whiskey-colored eyes.

“You all right?” His voice, laced with amusement and concern, snapped Maggie out of her trance.

“Yes. Thanks for the help.” She thrust out her hand as she tried to recover her scattered wits. “Maggie Thelan. I’m here for a second interview for the nanny position.”

He raised his eyebrows, arched over those incredible eyes. They weren’t the color of just any whiskey, but the good Scotch stuff her father had favored. Her heart pinged. The man grasped her hand, his palm warm and slightly rough on hers. She sucked in a breath at the unwelcome little shiver that zipped up her arm. “Dr. Josh Tanner. Nice to meet you,” he said as he released his grip.

“You, too,” she replied. Dread seized her. This man was Cody’s dad. What if he thought she’d be a klutzy danger to his son? Good one, Maggie.

He stepped back. “Come on in. Have a seat over there.” He indicated the sofa in a comfortable living room. Photos. Her pulse picked up a bit as she made her way to sit down.

She cleared her throat and smiled as he sat down opposite her. She peeked around him at the pictures on the mantel. Shoot. Some of them were too small to see the subjects clearly. She snapped her focus back to find him studying her with a crease between his eyebrows.

Her stomach clenched. “Is there a problem?”

He hesitated a spilt second. “I have to say I was expecting someone older. I told my mom—” He broke off and the frown deepened.

“What?” Her stomach tightened. “Why do you need someone older?”

“I just thought, well, more experience, maybe.” He had the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

Maggie’s eyebrows shot up and she straightened her spine, spearing him with the look that had sent plenty of fourth-graders scurrying back in line. “I’ve been a teacher for ten years, Dr. Tanner. I assure you, I have plenty of experience with kids.”

He nodded, reluctance still etched on his face. “I saw that on your résumé. You are by far the most highly qualified candidate. My mom thinks highly of you and I trust her judgment. Your background check is clean and the references are excellent, so as long as Cody likes you we’ll consider this a done deal.”

Relief flooded Maggie even as she noted he didn’t look pleased about the whole thing. “Thank you. I hope he does, Doctor. I’m looking forward to meeting him.” More than you’ll ever know. The chance to know Cody, hopefully learn something about her half sister, meant everything to her. Her heart squeezed. Since her father’s death and learning he had kept his older daughter a secret, Maggie’s world had been in a tailspin.

He glanced at his watch. “While we’re waiting, do you want to see where you’ll be staying?” he asked.

“I’d love to,” she said.

A quick perusal of the mantel on her way past revealed photos of Cody, either alone or with his dad or Grandma. Nothing of Lucy. She climbed the creaking stairs behind Dr. Tanner and since it felt wrong to look at the view of his rear she kept her eyes at his waist. His pants were frayed at the belt loops, a little detail at odds with the crisp pleats in the front.

Upstairs, he walked past three rooms to the end of the hall and pushed open a door. “This be okay for you?”

Maggie stepped around him, catching a whiff of his scent as she did so. The little jolt of awareness was almost drowned out by the pleasure that flooded her at the room.

“This is beautiful!”

The room was huge and she could see a balcony through French doors. A four-poster bed sat across from the fireplace, where a cozy little grouping of furniture had been arranged. She could picture herself reading to Cody there, snuggling by the fire on a cold and snowy night.

A little shiver of joy ran through her. She couldn’t ask for a more perfect setting to get to know her nephew.

“There are plenty of extra sheets if you want to use them, and comforters, too. Not sure what you’d like, but if you don’t find something that works just buy what you want and I’ll cover it. Bathroom’s in here.” Dr. Tanner stepped around her and pointed to the first of two doors. “Closet’s the next one.”

Maggie pulled open the door and peeked in at the bathroom. Double sinks, oversize tub, separate shower. Fresh towels, no doubt his mother’s touch, on the towel rack.

A master bedroom. Why didn’t he use the master? Too many memories?

“Dr. Tanner, really, this is amazing. I love it.” She moved over the plush carpeting to the four-poster and ran her hand over the smooth wood of the footboard. Unless she missed her guess, this bed was an antique.

When she looked up, she caught him watching her with caution and something else, a something that made her skin get hot and reminded her she was alone with a gorgeous man. In a room with a bed.

The one man she couldn’t have and wouldn’t want anyway.

So why had her mouth just gone dry?

“Josh,” he said, and Maggie blinked, her thoughts thankfully derailed. “Call me Josh, please. You’re not my patient.”

“Josh, then,” she murmured.

A banging from downstairs made them both jump, shattering the awkward moment.

“That’d be Cody and my mother,” he said, relief clear in his voice. “Let’s go meet them.”

* * *

Cody Tanner, age four, looked up at Maggie with serious blue eyes ringed with long, dark lashes. Light brown curls haloed around his head. Her heart melted, and emotion crashed over her in a fierce wave. She ached to pull him in her arms. This little boy was the only link to the half sister she’d never have the chance to know. He dropped his gaze to her feet and she swallowed hard.

“Hi, Cody.” Maggie stuck out her hand, but Cody ignored it, instead pressing against his grandmother’s leg. She tried to ignore the sharp sting his rejection produced.

“Code,” his father said in a gentle voice, “you can do better than that.”

Cody looked up at Maggie, his big blue eyes swimming with tears, and shook his head.

Maggie’s heart cracked. “It’s okay—” she began but Josh shook his head.

“Cody, we talked about this. Remember?”

“Don’t want her,” Cody cried and Maggie sucked in her breath, each word almost a physical blow. “I wanna have Mrs. Herman!”

Josh knelt down in front of his son. He tugged Cody into his arms. “I know it’s hard on you. But she had to leave, Code,” he said. “You know that. She had to go help her daughter out. She’ll miss you and she loves you. She’ll call and send you letters. Remember?”

Cody dipped his chin. “I know,” he mumbled, and his father hugged him.

“Now, let’s try this again. What do you say to Ms. Thelan?”

Cody slid a sideways glance her way. “Hi,” he muttered and Maggie smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Cody.” Oh, if he only knew.

Ellen held out her hand to her grandson. “Cody, you want to help me make some sandwiches for lunch?”

Cody brightened. “C’n I have peanut butter?”

“Of course. You can even spread the jelly if you want.”

“Okay.” With a last cautious glance at Maggie, Cody followed Ellen into the kitchen.

Josh looked at Maggie. “Mrs. Herman is Cody’s former nanny. Her leaving has been hard on him. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Don’t be,” Maggie said, and meant it. “He is attached to Mrs. Herman. It’s a loss he has to process. I understand. It’ll take some time, but we’ll be okay.”

Maggie held her breath while Josh gave her a thoughtful look. “Let’s have a seat and go over what exactly you’ll be doing.”

Maggie’s heart soared. “Does this mean I officially have the job?”

“Yes.”

Even with the reluctance in his voice, relief flooded her. Maybe her luck had finally turned, after all.

* * *

Too young.

Later that evening, Josh’s thought upon seeing Maggie Thelan for the first time kept playing through his head. And too gorgeous, with that long dark hair and those blue, blue eyes rimmed with dark lashes. Similar to Lucy’s, really, but hers had been a paler blue. He pulled his thoughts back to the problem at hand.

His mother was playing matchmaker.

He groaned and clicked the TV remote, not seeing the images on the screen. He’d specifically requested an older woman so there’d be no chance of anyone thinking there was anything remotely marriageable about him. That possibility died with Lucy, as it should have.

But Mom clearly had other plans. She’d told him over and over to move on. To let Lucy go. He’d listened politely, but he knew it didn’t matter. He’d made a promise to her, intended to keep it. He’d managed it for nearly four years.

But then Maggie stumbled into his life and now things were not quite so cut and dried. She made something he’d buried long ago want to sit up and take notice.

Josh groaned again and scrubbed his hand over his eyes.

Hell. She’d be the nanny. Meaning she’d be living here, under his roof, right down the hall from his bedroom.

Josh shifted on the bed. Uh-uh. No way could his thoughts take that course. No.

Maybe he could tell her he’d changed his mind, they didn’t need her and he’d go find a nanny on his own.

A nice, grandmotherly type. Someone who wouldn’t remind him he couldn’t get involved with another woman.

“Daddy?” Cody’s voice sliced across his thoughts.

“Cody. I thought you were sleeping.” Josh hit the mute button on the TV. He patted the bed beside him. “You okay?”

Cody nodded as he crawled up next to Josh. “Yeah. Is Miz Thelan gonna be my new nanny?” His voice dropped off.

“Mrs. Herman isn’t coming back,” Josh said gently. “You know that, Code. We need someone to help us out around here. Ms. Thelan seems really nice. I think she’ll be a good nanny.”

So much for not hiring her.

Cody bit his lower lip. “But—don’t—if I don’t get a nanny won’t Miz Herman hafta come back?” The words tumbled out in a rush.

“No. Oh, Cody, is that what you thought?” Josh’s heart broke and he reached over to hug his son to his side, felt the little body nestle into his own.

Cody shrugged his small shoulders, then nodded.

Josh spoke gently, knowing how hard this had been for his son. “Cody, she loves you, but she had to go.”

“Like Mama,” Cody said matter-of-factly, and pain seared through Josh, cutting off his air for a heartbeat. Like Mama.

“Mama can’t come back. But she loved you, too, Cody.” His voice grated in his throat. Lucy had adored Cody, doted on him, loved him with every last fiber of her being. This Josh knew without a doubt. Guilt crushed him every time he thought of it. He was the reason his son didn’t have a mother anymore.

“Miz Thelan is pretty,” Cody said. Josh said nothing, stymied by the realization that he couldn’t deny he agreed, or what it meant. “Will she live here? With you an’ me, Daddy?”

“Yeah,” Josh said and wondered again if having Maggie under his roof was a good plan.

“Then I guess it’s okay to try her, Daddy.” Cody’s small face was serious. Josh hid a smile.

“Then we will. I think she’ll be just fine.”

“Is she gonna cook for us?”

Josh shrugged. “She said she could but we’ll see.”

They looked at each other for a moment, and Josh knew they were both thinking of Mrs. Herman’s practical casseroles.

Years of casseroles.

“No, um, cassy-oles?” Cody ventured and Josh laughed.

“She doesn’t look like the casserole type but we’ll ask her tomorrow when she gets here just to be sure. Okay? Now let’s get you back to bed.”

“Okay.” Cody slid off Josh’s bed. Josh followed him across the hall and tucked Cody back in. He ran a hand over the boy’s curls and Cody gave him a sleepy smile.

“G’night, Daddy.”

“’Night, Code.” Josh lingered for a moment, enjoying the little rustles Cody made as he settled. Then he returned to his room, flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Sleep wouldn’t come easy for him tonight.

* * *

Maggie pulled in the driveway of the big blue house, her car packed to the gills. Everything else had gone into storage when she sublet her apartment. That had been a bit of a risk. If this nanny position had fallen through, she’d have been up you-know-what creek without a paddle.

At least it would be familiar territory.

She got out of the car and hesitated in the driveway. Hired or not, it didn’t seem right to just walk in the house. Ellen burst out the front door.

“Maggie! Oh, my goodness, let me help. Josh, come on,” she yelled over her shoulder. “Maggie’s here.” She hurried across the lawn and gave Maggie a quick hug. “Let Josh and me help you. Is this all you brought?” she asked as she opened a rear door.

“All?” Maggie laughed. The car practically groaned under the weight of her “necessities.” The front door banged shut before she could say anything else and she turned to see Josh step out on the porch. His flannel shirt looked soft and worn with age, and his jeans held the same patina. His whiskey gaze caught hers and her traitorous pulse tripped. He gave her a half smile, strode down the steps.

“Good morning, Ms. Thelan,” he said, his deep voice resonating in the very core of her.

“It’s Maggie,” she said, and mentally winced at the husky element in her voice.

“Maggie, then,” he said and looked at her with... Was that regret?

“Josh! This box has books. Can you get it?” Ellen’s voice reached them, and he turned toward his mother.

“Sure, Mom,” he said. Maggie went around to the other side of the car as her insides twisted. Was Josh having second thoughts about hiring her? He’d been ambivalent, she knew, but she’d hoped a few days of space would have erased his doubts.

An hour later, she decided she’d imagined the whole thing. Josh was polite, and said no more than necessary, but she didn’t catch any more weird vibes from him. Ellen made up for it with chatter and Maggie was grateful for her warmth. Cody hovered around the edges of the activity, helping sometimes without being asked, but mostly dogging his father’s shadow. Her heart ached for the boy.

She hoped by Monday he’d have accepted her enough that they could spend the day together comfortably.

“Okay,” Ellen announced, placing a box on the floor by the bed. “Josh has the last one, he’s coming up behind me. Looks like you’ve made progress already,” she added, nodding to the closet where some clothes hung.

Maggie laughed. “That’s why I leave all that stuff on hangers. Makes me feel like I’ve done a lot when actually...well, actually, I haven’t.” She sank down in a chair near the fireplace, looked around at the mess. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me.”

Ellen waved her hand, dismissing Maggie’s thanks. “It was nothing, honey, really. Do you need any help unpacking?”

Maggie shook her head. She wouldn’t ask for anything more even if she needed it. “No. Thanks, though. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, then.” Ellen crossed to the door, then stopped. “You have my number if you need it on Monday? If you have any questions at all, you can call. Josh can’t always get away, but I’m usually available.”

“I do have it. I’m sure we’ll be fine, but it’s a big comfort to know you’re there if we get stuck,” Maggie assured her. Ellen nodded.

“Okay, then. Sorry to run, but I’m meeting a friend for dinner and it’s a good hour drive.” She left, and Maggie heard her voice in the hall before Josh came in, carrying the last of the boxes.

“Where can I put this?” he asked.

She waved her hand. “Anywhere’s fine. I have to go through them all anyway.”

Josh deposited the box near the one his mother left and stood still. An awkward silence fell over the room as Maggie tried her hardest to look everywhere but at him, but her gaze kept darting back as if he were magnetic.

“I—”

“Do—”

They both stopped, and he dipped his head in her direction. “You first.”

She drew in a deep breath. “I was just going to thank you for the help,” she said. “It wasn’t necessary but I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. Do you like pizza? You’re welcome to eat dinner with us.”

Maggie hesitated. She needed to erect some kind of wall between her unexpected emotions and this man. On the other hand, it would be an opportunity to interact with Cody. “Will Cody mind if I join you? I don’t want to infringe on his time with you.”

Josh shook his head. “You won’t be. It’ll be good for you to spend some time together. Any requests for toppings? Anything you can’t stand?”

They settled the pizza question with no onions or peppers for her but anything else was fair game. Josh left the room, pulling the door closed behind him. Maggie stared at the closed door, then flopped back on the bed as the enormity of her situation began to take root.

She’d found Cody, gotten the job she wanted so badly.

But she’d never figured on her brother-in-law. She hadn’t counted on seeing him as an attractive man. Somehow, she needed to figure out how to ignore that while keeping her true relationship to Cody a secret from his father. A flash of guilt made her swallow hard. Would it have been better to own up to her connection to Lucy?

No. She stood up and moved to the nearest box. The last thing she wanted was to inflict any more pain on either Josh or Cody. They’d experienced a terrible loss before Cody’s first birthday and she had no desire to open any old wounds for them. With any luck she could spend a year or so with Cody, and have enough of a relationship with the little boy that Josh would allow her to stay in his life after Cody no longer needed a nanny.

So she’d get over this ridiculous quasi-attraction to Josh and that would be that.

Wouldn’t it?

So why didn’t her plan seem to be quite so simple anymore?


Chapter Two

Her nephew, so far, hated her.

Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. Maggie braced her arms on the kitchen counter and let her head fall forward with a sigh. Almost lunchtime on their very first day together and Cody hadn’t spoken more than four words to her. And only then because she’d spoken to the little boy first. It would take time for him to adjust, this she knew. It didn’t bother her. Really.

If only he wouldn’t look at her like he might a particularly freaky bug. He edged around her like he expected her to squirt something vile at any moment.

She squared her shoulders and her resolve. She was not here in the capacity of auntie. To Cody, she was the nanny and a poor sub for Mrs. Herman at that.

The shrill of the phone snapped Maggie back to reality. She grabbed the handset off the counter. “Hello?”

“Maggie. It’s Josh.” Oh, Lord. Her insides did a totally unwelcome little flip. “How’s everything going there so far?”

“Morning, Josh,” she said, glad her voice remained steady. “We’re doing just fine.” True enough. Just not the kind of fine she’d hoped for.

“That’s good.” The relief in his voice rang in her ear. “Sorry I wasn’t there this morning,” he added. “I rotate on calls with two other docs. I usually get calls every night I’m on. Not all of them involve me having to go in to the hospital, though.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” She prowled around the kitchen. Talking to him on the phone wasn’t much easier than doing it in person. Here he was right in her ear and she couldn’t put distance between them.

“Is he right there?” Josh asked. “I’d like to talk to him for a minute.”

Maggie headed for the stairs. “Of course. He’s got his trains out in his room. Hold on.”

She called for Cody, who came running when he heard it was his dad. After a brief chat, and numerous looks slid Maggie’s way, from which she deduced the conversation was about her, Cody handed the phone to her and returned to his trains without a backward glance. She stared at his retreating form with a muffled sigh and lifted the handset to her ear.

“Josh? Still there?” The bright note in her voice sounded false, even to her.

“Yeah,” he said, sounding distracted. “But I have to go. My next patient is here. Give Cody time, Maggie. He’s a little shy. He’ll come around.”

“Of course he will. We really are doing fine here, Josh,” she assured him. “I’m not worried.” Much.

“Good. Listen, I’ll give you a call later if it looks like I’ll be late getting home.” Maggie heard a female voice in the background and the rustle of paper.

“That’s fine. See you then.”

“Bye.” Click.

The dial tone sounded in her ear. Maggie stood and stared at the phone for a second before replacing it in its cradle on the wall. She released a long breath. If she couldn’t get a handle on this bizarre attraction to Josh, what would she do?

Maggie stalked over to the fridge and yanked open the door in search of lunch for Cody. “I know exactly what I’ll do,” she muttered as she pulled out sliced turkey. “I’ll work harder to get over it.”

She wasn’t stupid enough to fall for her boss.

Again.

* * *

Josh tipped his chair back and stared at the ceiling of his office where he’d taken advantage of a few quiet moments to scarf lunch and call Maggie.

It’s just because it’s their first day alone. It didn’t have anything to do with Maggie’s long legs or that smooth, dark hair that fell in a thick mass past her shoulders. Nothing to do with those clear blue eyes, or the wariness with which she watched him. And, of course, he wasn’t thinking about her because he was attracted to her.

Not at all.

She was the nanny for God’s sake.

“Hey, Doc.” Marta, his nurse, leaned in his office. “Julie Henney’s ready in One.”

Great. “Thanks. I’ll be right there,” he said, and let the chair legs thump forward onto the floor. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Julie Henney for an actual illness, unless he considered her inability to take a hint a sickness.

“Everything all right?” Marta asked and Josh arched a brow.

“Of course. Why do you ask?” Marta possessed the finely tuned radar of a protective older sister, except she was younger and not related to him at all. Well, unless he counted the fact she’d married his best friend.

“You just seem a little distracted.”

Josh shrugged. “No, everything’s fine. Just Cody’s first day with his new nanny, that’s all.” The truth as far as it went.

Marta nodded and seemed to accept it. Josh struck out for Exam One, where Julie Henney waited.

Before opening the door he grabbed her chart from the box and steeled himself. Ms. Henney had been after him for years. In fact, she’d offered him what she’d termed comfort not two months after Lucy’s death. The memory still made his stomach turn.

The worst part? Lucy had considered Julie a good friend.

He pushed open the door and fixed what he hoped was a neutral expression on his face. He couldn’t give an inch or she’d be all over him like he was a chocolate buffet. “Hi, Julie. What brings you here today?”

She perched on the end of the table, her skinny legs crossed at the ankle, her skirt stopping midthigh. She’d braced on her arms, leaning forward, no doubt to be sure he’d get an eyeful of what he knew to be artificially enhanced cleavage since he’d recommended the surgeon. Bottle blond hair loose and silky on her shoulders? Check. Pout firmly in place, predatory gleam in her pale blue eyes? Double check.

She must have broken up with her latest sugar daddy.

“Hey, Josh.” Her voice was a throaty purr.

“Let’s see.” He made a show of examining Marta’s few notes. “You’re here for a sore throat?”

She shifted on the table. Probably to make sure he noticed her rack. “Yes.”

Josh grabbed his laryngoscope and clicked it on. “Open up so I can see.”

When he shone it down her throat—no redness, no drainage, no surprise—Julie grabbed his arm. She looped one foot around his leg and rubbed her hand on his chest. “I’m all fine now,” she murmured. “Why don’t you lock that door and ask me to open up again?”

Hell. Josh extricated himself from her grip and stepped back. Enough was enough. He’d been polite to Julie for years, out of respect for Lucy, and this woman never got the hint. He looked her straight in the eye.

“I’ve been nice about this for way too long,” he said, keeping his voice cool. “I’m not interested in you, Julie. I’m not interested in anything you have to offer. I think it would be best if you found another doctor.”

She turned purple and her jaw dropped then snapped shut. She sat up straight, tugged at the hem of her skirt. “Oh, come on, Josh. I didn’t mean anything by it,” she sputtered. “What’s a little sex between friends? You’re alone, I’m alone. Lonely. Why can’t we enjoy each other?”

Josh inhaled a deep breath and hissed it out. Damn. “I’m not interested in a relationship,” he said firmly. “Of any kind.”

She shot up one manicured eyebrow. “I’m not looking for marriage, Josh. Are you still hung up on Lucy? She’s been gone a long time. And you’ve been alone a long time—fine,” she snapped and threw up her hands. “Fine. I get it. I’m outta here. If you change your mind—”

“I won’t,” Josh said. “It doesn’t matter how long Lucy’s been gone. She was my wife.” Not that I was much of a husband. Josh shoved the thought and the accompanying pain away. “Do you want a recommendation for another physician?”

She slid off the table, her skirt slipping up so it barely covered her cheeks. She tugged it back down and grabbed her purse. “No. I do not. This is your loss, Doctor.”

She sailed out, her chin up. Relief flooded him. He turned to gather up the paperwork. He’d been willing to keep her in his life out of respect for Lucy but clearly Julie’s idea of respect and his were very different.

“Well, looks like that went well.” Marta’s dry voice came from behind him.

Josh turned and gave a half shrug. Actually, if it kept Julie from trying to jump him, he’d say it was a resounding success. “As well as it ever could, I guess.”

She ripped off the paper cover on the table and began to unroll a new one. “That woman’s had her eye on you for years.”

Josh grunted. What could he say? “She was Lucy’s friend. It just never seemed right.”

She nodded. “You’re a good guy, Doc. You’ll find a good woman someday, too.”

He gritted his teeth and turned on the water to wash up. “I’m not looking, Marta. You know that.” Why couldn’t people just leave him alone? Why was it so hard to believe he could be perfectly happy with just him and Cody? They were a team. They didn’t need anyone else.

She studied him for a long moment and shrugged. “Maybe not. But sometimes, Fate does the looking for you.”

* * *

Marta’s words rang in his ears as he drove home that night, hard as he tried to ignore them. Fate. Was it Fate that had brought Maggie to them? He’d seen the glint in his mother’s eye when he’d hired Maggie. Marta and half of Holden’s Crossing—the half that wasn’t trying to hook themselves or their single female relatives up with him—would undoubtedly have a similar look. A young, single, very attractive woman in his home. Conclusions would be drawn.

Too damn bad. Josh flexed his hands on the steering wheel. People could think whatever they wanted. He knew the truth, was fully aware every single moment of every single day of the promise he’d made to his dead wife. No one else knew, except his best friend. He’d made his bed, so to speak, after Lucy’s death and stuck to his word for the past three years. He saw no reason to go back on it now.

Even if he was lonely.

Josh hissed and cranked the radio up as if the driving beat of Nickelback could squash that thought and all it implied. He’d never allowed himself to go there, to consider it. Cody was his first priority. Period.

The brightly lit house greeted him when he pulled in the driveway and he noticed smoke curled from the chimney. In the garage he caught a whiff of dinner from the kitchen. Did he smell a roast? He chuckled as he climbed out of his SUV. No doubt Cody would be relieved that a casserole wasn’t on the menu tonight.

Maggie stood at the sink, her back to him as he came through the connecting door. Her long, dark ponytail fell down her back and the ties of her red apron draped over her shapely rear.

Not that it was the first place he looked or anything.

He turned to hang his keys on the rack and weather the tide of guilt that lapped at him. Had he ever walked in and simply appreciated Lucy’s ass? No, he’d come in the house braced for a fight. Which she’d given him much more often than a smile.

Jeez, Luce, what a mess we were.

Maggie turned as he did. Her cheeks were flushed with the warmth of the kitchen and she offered him a quick smile.

“Dinner’s almost ready. I just need to mash the potatoes. Cody’s washing up.” She lifted a steaming colander out of the sink and dumped it in a mixing bowl.

He walked up behind her, not too close, but enough to catch the scent of lavender off her hair. “Smells wonderful in here.” God help him, he didn’t mean just the food.

She tossed him a quick grin and scooted around him to the stand mixer. “Thanks. It’s nothing fancy.”

He headed to the powder room off the kitchen to wash up and get his unwelcome emotions back under control. Cram them back into the little box he imagined held all the things he didn’t want to deal with.

Lately, the damned lid wouldn’t stay closed.

When he reentered the kitchen, Cody was seated at the table. The little boy brightened and slid off his chair when he saw Josh. “Daddy!”

“Hey, big guy.” Josh bent and pulled his son to him. The boy’s skinny arms went around his neck and squeezed. Josh closed his eyes. He made the choices he did for Cody. It’d serve him well to remember that. “When we sit down, you can tell me all about your day, okay?”

Maggie set a plate at Cody’s spot. “You’re all set, Cody. I’ll bring you some milk in a second. Josh, I’ll get your plate now.” She turned to go back into the kitchen.

He couldn’t let her do that. He caught her wrist, felt the warmth of her skin through the fabric of her navy turtleneck. God, her bones were small. His fingers circled her wrist. She looked up at him, surprise on her face. “I’ll get my own,” he said, his voice a little rough in his throat.

“Um, well. Okay. I don’t mind, though.” She glanced down at her arm, still in his hand. He let go quickly, aware he’d held on to her a little too long.

Damn.

He filled a plate and sat down across from Cody, Maggie at his right. Not close enough to touch, but near enough that he was very aware of her presence. As he picked up his fork, one more thought in the guilt brigade hit him.

More often than not, he and Lucy hadn’t eaten together. Other than holidays, he couldn’t think of a single meal they’d shared with Cody that first year. He’d been too busy, or she’d been too angry. His appetite vanished.

“Josh? Is something wrong with the food?” Maggie’s voice cut into his pity party. He looked up to see the concern on her face. He immediately felt bad. It wasn’t fair to her for him to vanish down the mine-filled road of his past. He shook his head.

“No. Not at all. It smells amazing.” He took a bite. Tasted that way, too. “So, Cody, what did you do today?”

Cody filled Josh in on his day. It seemed to him Maggie and his son had done all right. It took the little boy a while to warm up to people, but once he did he was a completely different child. Josh had a feeling Maggie would be seeing that kid soon.

“C’n I be ’scused?” Cody asked.

“Sure,” Josh said. “Take your plate into the kitchen first. Be very careful.”

“I will,” Cody promised. Josh hid a grin as his son walked slowly around the table, his concentration on the plate and the utensils on it. A few seconds later he heard the clatter of the plate going in the sink. Maggie’s eyes widened.

“I did it, Daddy!” Cody called. “C’n I go play now?”

Josh grinned at Maggie, who smiled back. “Yep.”

“Yes!” And Cody was gone, all pumping legs and thumping stairs.

“We’ve got the clear-the-table part down pretty good,” Josh said as he rose from his chair. “It’s the delivery to the sink that we need to work on.”

Maggie laughed. The clear, light sound floated over him, an unexpected balm to his frazzled emotions. “So I see.” She pushed her chair back. “I’ll take care of this.”

He went to lay a hand on her arm, changed his mind. Better not to touch her. “I’ll clean it up, Maggie,” he said, but she shook her head. “Then let me help,” he insisted as he gathered up dishes. “It’s the least I can do. You rinse, I load.”

She worried her lower lip for a second, then he saw her cave. “All right. Thank you. As long as you know it’s not necessary.”

“No thanks needed. It’s the least I can do,” he repeated.

In the kitchen, he rolled up his shirtsleeves and held out his hand for the first item. She handed him a plate.

“Cody seemed to have a good day,” he said.

She nodded as she scraped the next dish. “Oh, he did. He’s not too sure of me yet, but he’s very sweet and wants to please. We’ll get there. I’m not worried.”

Josh slid a bowl into place. Something in her tone said she thought otherwise. “He can be shy. He’ll come around.”

“Of course he will. We didn’t go out much today because I was trying to give him a little space. You know, to get used to me being in Mrs. Herman’s place.”

Worry zinged through him. “Was there something you needed that you couldn’t get? You could have called me.”

Her head came up, surprise in her blue eyes. Their color was nearly the same as Cody’s. “Oh, no, Josh. We were fine. And your mom checked in on us, too, just in case. I won’t bother you at work unless it’s an emergency. I know how busy you are.”

A bit of the scene with Julie flashed through his mind, only this time Maggie sat on the exam table in a short skirt and a come-hither look. His groin tightened at the possibilities.

For that, he’d have locked the door.

“Josh?” Amusement in her voice sliced across his fantasy, and he cleared his throat.

“I am busy. Most days are pretty crazy. But not so much so that if you guys are stuck somehow you can’t call me.” Why was it so important that she know she could get him if she needed him? Because Lucy had complained so often that he was constantly unavailable when she needed something?

Because he wanted Maggie to think better of him than his wife ever had?

Maggie held out the last pan. “Don’t worry, Josh. If I need you, I’ll call.” Her words and their double meaning hung in the air as her fingers touched his when he took the pan. Heat arced between them with the intensity of a live wire. His gaze caught hers for a heartbeat, before alarm sprang into her eyes. She quickly backed up, grabbed a washcloth and started swabbing the counter. He concentrated on fitting the last pan into place and closed the dishwasher, wondering how to break the suddenly awkward silence. What the hell was going on with him?

Maggie rinsed and folded the cloth, then draped it on the faucet. Not looking at him, she said, “If you don’t need anything, I think I’ll head upstairs. Do you need me to put Cody to bed?”

Josh shook his head. “As long as I don’t get called, I’ll do it.”

She nodded. “Okay, then. Good night.”

She turned and moved toward the stairs, her back perfectly straight. He doubted she’d take it too kindly if he swept her off her feet and carried her upstairs.

Tonight, anyway.

* * *

Shoving Josh and the kitchen weirdness out of her mind, Maggie paused in Cody’s doorway. He didn’t see her. With his back to her and his attention on his Matchbox cars, she figured she could drive a train through there and he wouldn’t notice.

“Cody.” He whipped his head around so hard his curls lifted and settled. “What are you playing?”

He poked at a fire truck. Paused for a moment. “Fireman.”

“Ahhh.” She leaned on the door frame. “Do you want to be a fireman someday?”

Cody shrugged, then nodded.

“That’s good. Firemen help people.”

“An’ they drive big trucks,” Cody observed, lifting one and studying it with one eye open.

Maggie hid a smile. Trust a kid to get to the heart of the matter. “That they do.”

He returned to playing with his toys and she watched for a minute. The conversation was clearly over, but she loved the fact they’d actually had one. She slipped out of the room and into her own across the hall.

She closed the door and let her head fall against it with a soft thunk.

Holy cow. She’d had her first day as a nanny. As Cody’s nanny.

While he wasn’t too sure of her yet, she had to believe they’d get there. Josh seemed to think the little boy would come around soon enough.

Josh. A little shiver ran down up her spine. She needed to watch herself around him, make sure she hid the attraction she felt. Maybe it was just the fact he was a nice guy and loved his son—so different from her ex.

That was it. It had to be.

It couldn’t be anything more.


Chapter Three

To distract herself, Maggie grabbed her cell off the nightstand, plopped in one of the chairs and dialed her best friend’s number.

“Maggie!” Kerry didn’t even bother with hello. “How did it go?”

Maggie filled her friend in on her day. “He needs to warm up to me still. He misses his old nanny a lot,” she finished.

“Of course he does,” Kerry agreed. “Poor little guy. He’s been through so much.”

“I know. It will take some time but he’ll adjust,” Maggie said, echoing what she’d told Josh earlier in the day. “Josh said he’s a little shy.”

Something in her tone gave her away. “Really,” Kerry said, drawing out the word. “Josh, huh? Tell me about him.”

Maggie mentally kicked herself for even getting into this. She stood up, walked to the sliding doors, her gaze on the pine trees in the backyard. The faint scent of burning leaves lingered on the breeze as she slid the door open. “There’s not much to tell. As far as I can tell, he works hard and he adores his son.”

“Sounds perfect,” Kerry teased. “Is he hot?”

“Kerry! He’s my boss.” She kept her voice low, even though Josh wasn’t likely to overhear.

Her friend sighed, all signs of teasing gone. “I know. I’m sorry. That didn’t go so well for you last time.”

“You could say that,” she murmured, thinking of the baby that wasn’t hers. “But I’d never get involved with him,” she added. “It’d be way too weird and anyway, I’m here for Cody.”

“So he is attractive,” Kerry said.

An understatement, that. Maggie’s fingers still tingled where they’d touched his. She curled her hand tighter around the phone. “Well, yeah. In a generic kind of way. You know. Not personally. To me.” She rolled her eyes. She sounded a little too casual, even to her own ears.

Kerry paused and Maggie held her breath. “I see. Well, that’s good. You don’t want a repeat of Tony.”

She exhaled. “God knows that’s true. I’m here in a professional capacity, period. Cody is my focus.”

No matter how unexpectedly attractive his father was.

“Of course he is,” Kerry agreed. “Did you learn anything about Lucy?”

Kerry’s question caused Maggie’s conscience to give her jab. “No. Not yet. I don’t feel comfortable bringing her up yet.” It seemed like Josh should be the one to start that particular conversation. Maggie wasn’t sure she could bring up Lucy and not blurt out the truth. Soon, but not yet. She wanted to let everything settle first and be sure it wouldn’t be too hard on Josh and Cody to tell them who she was. It wasn’t ideal, but she couldn’t see another way to protect them.

“It’s early,” Kerry murmured. “I’m sure you’ll get the chance. In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for a good guy. Not all men are like Tony.”

Maggie thought of Brian, her best friend’s husband. “Of course they’re not. You’ve got a good one.”

Kerry laughed. “Oh, yes, I do. I really do. And we’ll get you a good one, too. Trust me.”

Maggie made a little humming noise. “We’ll see. I’m sure not going to find him here. Holden’s Crossing seems pretty small. I’m guessing the good ones are taken already. But I’m not in the market anyway.” After her marriage, it seemed prudent to avoid all things commitment-related.

“Maybe, maybe not. Don’t let Tony win,” Kerry ordered. “Make sure it’s because it’s what you want. If you give up on all this, on ever being happy or a family of your own, you’ve let him win. He doesn’t get to ruin your life.”

Again. The unspoken word echoed in Maggie’s head. She swiped at her now-moist eyes. “You’re absolutely right. He doesn’t. I’ll keep my options open.”

They chatted a few more minutes, then hung up. Maggie snapped her phone shut as Cody caught her attention, racing into the backyard with his dad behind him. Cody held a soccer ball, which he dropped on the ground and kicked toward his dad. His little-boy laugh floated in through the door. Josh kicked the ball back, then looked up. He waved. Caught, she couldn’t exactly duck out of sight so she fluttered her fingers back.

“You play?” he called, and Maggie opened the door farther so she could step out on the balcony into the wood smoke–scented twilight. She crossed over to the railing and leaned on it, the wood cool through her sleeves.

“Not in years,” she said as Cody gave the ball a solid kick. “Not since college.”

“You can kick it around with us,” he offered, and Maggie’s chest squeezed at the invitation. “Right, Code?”

Cody darted a glance up at Maggie, then to his dad. He nodded and zeroed back in on the ball as it flew off Josh’s foot. She was tempted, but she shook her head. “No thanks,” she said to the top of Josh’s head. No topside bald spot for him. “Maybe another time.”

He executed some fancy footwork with the ball, indicating more than a passing relationship with the game of soccer. “Sounds good. We’ve got to go in soon, anyway. Almost bedtime for someone.”

Cody’s head came up. “It’s not dark yet,” he protested and Maggie smothered a laugh.

“Not yet,” Josh agreed. “But it will be soon. Five more minutes, big guy, and it’s time to hit the shower.”

Maggie turned from the railing and walked back inside. While she could watch the two of them interact for hours, it probably wasn’t a good idea. Keeping a distance was the best option.

Still, she left the door open to hear their voices and laughter, the thunk of the ball, as the sounds all drifted in on the chilly evening breeze.

* * *

Maggie spent the next two weeks doing an admirable job of ignoring the physical attraction she felt for Josh. Part of that had been keeping a bit of an emotional distance, developing a routine that worked for Cody but kept her out of incidental contact with Josh as much as possible. She kept her professionalism front and center.

Except for today.

Somehow she’d been roped into a family dinner.

Still not sure exactly how Ellen had gotten her to accept the invitation, Maggie stared out the window of Josh’s SUV. The trees clipped by as she replayed the conversation in her head.

Dinner, Ellen had said. Love to have you join us.

When Maggie opened her mouth to decline she found herself accepting instead. An apparent disconnect of common sense and her tongue.

So here she sat with Josh and Cody on the way to Ellen’s. The whole thing blurred lines she’d been so careful to keep clear.

“Gramma has a dog,” Cody announced into the silence. Josh had been very quiet. Thinking maybe of Lucy? She certainly was never far from Maggie’s thoughts.

She half turned in her seat, grateful for the interruption. “She does? What kind?”

“A big one,” Cody said, his gaze on the back of Josh’s head. “Right, Daddy?”

“That’s right,” Josh agreed. He slid a glance her way. “Friendly, though. In case you were wondering.”

“I like dogs,” she said. “What’s his name?”

“Riley,” Cody said.

“That’s a good name.” She thought wistfully of Bear, the dog she’d shared with Tony. Bear had stayed with him. One more thing she’d surrendered to be free of the marriage.

“Are you okay over there?”

She blinked and looked over at Josh. “I’m fine. I used to have a dog,” she blurted.

“Really?” Josh and Cody said in unison.

She was in it now. “Yes. His name is Bear.”

“Where is he?” Cody asked.

“Well.” Here goes. “He’s with my, um, ex-husband.”

Cody’s eyes rounded and out of the corner of her eye Maggie saw Josh flex his hand on the steering wheel. A small ball of unease settled in her stomach. Had he known she was divorced? She’d told Ellen. She couldn’t remember if it’d come up otherwise.

“Don’t you miss him?”

She knew who Cody meant. “I miss Bear. I do.” She’d never really missed Tony, only what they never really had. In retrospect, it said so much about her marriage. “He’s a good dog, but an old one. We thought it was better for him to stay in his own familiar house.”

“Gramma will share Riley. Right, Daddy?”

“Of course.” Josh sent a quick smile her way.

Touched, Maggie smiled at each of them in turn. “Thank you. That’s so sweet.”

“You can meet him in a few.” Josh turned onto a gravel drive. “We’re here.”

They wound through the trees for a short distance before opening up to a large lawn and a low ranch house. A big dog of any number of breeds loped across the grass, barking and wagging his entire rear end.

“That’s Riley!” Cody cried as the SUV came to a stop. The little boy popped the seat belt on his car seat and jumped out the door to roll with the dog on the ground, the age-old greeting of little boys and big canines.

“Good thing it’s not wet out,” Josh commented as he and Maggie unbuckled.

“Would that stop him?” Maggie asked as she watched Riley lick Cody’s face.

Josh paused, then grinned over at his son. “Not likely,” he admitted. His keys slipped out of his hand and fell with a clank on the floor.

Since they landed on her side, Maggie leaned over and reached for them. Josh did the same and their heads bumped. She sat up. “Oh! Sorry.”

“My fault.” He leaned over and touched her forehead lightly. Her traitorous nerve endings gave a little zing. “You’ve got a bit of red mark here.”

For a heartbeat, their gazes locked and her pulse skipped, then kicked up as the teasing in his eyes melted to heat. Awareness sparked between them, a quick flare. She could smell the spicy soap he’d used, the detergent on his clothes. She curled her hand around her purse strap, as if it could keep her from leaning over just a little farther to see what he tasted like.

A joyful bark broke the spell.

“Ah. Well, we’d better get inside,” Josh said and nearly leaped out of the SUV.

She shut her eyes for a moment. The past two weeks had slipped by so smoothly. No awkward moments like this one, where the inappropriate attraction reared its ugly head. She’d managed to convince herself it had gone away.

So much for that.

Maggie inhaled deeply as she got out of the vehicle, as if the extra air would squish the butterflies that rioted in her belly. She needed to settle her pulse before she went in to face Josh’s mother and the woman’s very sharp eyes.

Before she could take two steps, Cody and Riley barreled around the front end of the SUV.

“This is Riley,” Cody announced, his fingers trailing down the dog’s spine. “Wanna pet him?”

Riley plunked his rear down in the gravel and wagged his tail. Maggie rubbed her hand between the dog’s big ears. “He’s a nice boy,” she said. “Isn’t he?”

“Yeah. He’s my friend. C’mon, Riley, let’s go play!” Boy and dog raced off.

She started toward the house and faltered. Josh stood between her and the door, hands in his pockets, his pensive gaze fixed where Cody and Riley had disappeared. For a wild second she wished she could go over and slip her arms around him, but that ended in a wave of guilt. She wanted to bang her head on the nearest hard surface. What was wrong with her? He couldn’t be more off-limits, widowed or not. He’d been married to her half sister. The fact she’d never known Lucy didn’t make it right.

* * *

Josh saw Maggie’s indecision, appreciated it. Best if they forgot about the thing in the truck just now. If he forgot how badly he’d wanted to lean a little closer, capture her lips with his own. See if she tasted as sweet as she smelled.

Too bad it was impossible. Thinking how much Lucy would have loved to see Cody roughhousing with Riley put a quick damper on his inappropriate emotions.

He shook off the melancholy thoughts as Maggie closed the distance between them and tried to act normal.

“Like Riley?”

He sensed her relax a fraction. “I do. What is he, part shepherd?”

“And a lot of other things.” They started walking again and Josh noted she kept a few extra inches between them. Just as well. “At the shelter, they weren’t quite sure what all he had in him.”

“A pedigree’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Her tone was light, but he caught an undertone of something darker in her words. Referring, maybe, to the ex-husband? That had been a bit of a shock. Not that she’d been married, but that some stupid guy had let her go.

Before he could formulate a reply, Ellen opened the front door and waved. “Hurry up, you two! Cody and Riley will eat all the cookies if you don’t get in here.”

“What, there’s cookies? Before dinner? I’m there.” Josh heard Maggie’s soft giggle at his words and something that had been coiled tightly inside him loosened and warmed.

“Well, we’ve got company, and Halloween is two days away. Good excuse as any to bake.” Ellen gave Maggie a quick hug before stepping aside. “Good to see you, honey. Come on in.”

Josh followed the women inside, took Maggie’s coat and his own to the entry closet. He caught a whiff of her perfume, something light and fruity, from the shearling jacket she’d worn. He resisted the urge to bury his face in it and inhale.

So different from the heavy, provocative scents Lucy had favored.

He shoved the jackets in the closet and closed the door a little harder than necessary. Two things he knew. One, no more guilty comparisons allowed today. And two, leaving his matchmaking mother alone with Maggie for too long was not a good plan.

* * *

Later that evening, Maggie tied the laces of her running shoes, then leaned on the foyer wall to stretch her calves. She needed a good hard run to get the whole afternoon out of her system.

As enjoyable as it’d been, she couldn’t shake the sense she’d been handpicked for Josh as much as Cody. Ellen, bless her, hadn’t exactly been subtle with her comments and questions. The older woman clearly thought the time had come for her son to move on. Maggie knew she wasn’t the right woman for Josh, even if she couldn’t tell Ellen why.

He’d held her at arm’s length all afternoon, clearly wanting to discourage his mother. It hadn’t worked but it had helped Maggie feel better. Sort of. Considering they’d gone from that moment of...whatever it had been in the truck to being simply polite and civil. She felt a little whiplashed and it was her own fault.

So. She needed to clear her head.

She tugged down the hem of her bright pink hoodie and opened the front door. Josh and Cody had settled down in the family room to watch Cars, Cody’s favorite movie. Their laughter and the buttery scent of fresh popcorn followed her outside even as she tried to quash the longing to join them.

She headed down the block, toward town, past houses all decked out for Halloween, with orange lights and scarily fun decorations. A few already sported carved pumpkins.

Josh’s street ended three blocks down at the town square. Another block or so over and she’d be on the water. A trail did follow the lake, but since it was nearing dark she opted to stick to the sidewalks. She reveled in the heat of her muscles and the pound of her shoes as she fell into the familiar rhythm. She let her mind go blank and just enjoyed the moment, the bite of the evening air, the breeze on her face, the bounce of her ponytail on her back.

Four miles later, she spotted another jogger on the same course, coming at her. She dropped to a cool-down walk as the other person approached. Maggie recognized her as the woman who lived down the block from Josh in the house that was undergoing a renovation.

“Hi,” she said, and the other woman smiled and swung around to walk with her.

“Hi. We finally meet, I see.” She held out one paint-splattered hand. “It’s dry, I promise,” she added with a laugh. “I’m Hannah McKay. I meant to get down and introduce myself earlier but I’ve been swamped.”

“Maggie Thelan.” She released Hannah’s hand and shoved a damp tendril of hair off her forehead. “Cody Tanner’s nanny. Do you know the Tanners?”

Hannah nodded. “I do. Mrs. Herman used to bring Cody down to the park on the corner almost every day.”

“We haven’t made it there yet, but I plan to. You’re remodeling?”

Hannah blew out a breath. “I am. I’m hoping to turn it into a bed-and-breakfast by next summer. It needs...well, it needs some love. No other way to put it.”

Maggie pictured the imposing structure with its peeling paint and sagging porch. “I guess it does.”

Hannah followed her train of thought. “The outside looks scary, but it’s in better condition than you think. Anytime you have a few extra moments you should stop over and I’ll show you. I can always use another perspective. Not to mention the help.”

“I’d like that,” Maggie said, delighted. “Are you doing this all by yourself?”

Hannah closed her eyes for an instant. “Yes. Yes, I am,” she said. “Anyway, just knock. I’m always there. Except for when I’m at the home center,” she added thoughtfully. “Which seems to take a good amount of my time. And money.”

Maggie laughed. “Yeah, I bet.”

“All right then. I’m serious. Come down anytime.”

The prospect of a friend was heartening. “You know, I just might take you up on that.”

“Please do. It was really nice to finally meet you.” Hannah gave a little wave and turned around to continue on her run, her short blond ponytail bouncing. Maggie continued to head for home, her heart a little lighter.

In the driveway, she stretched out before entering the house. The noise of the movie carried clearly from the family room. She toed off her shoes and put them in the closet. With any luck, she could just sneak up the stairs and escape into her room without having to face Josh or the disturbing fact she’d nearly kissed him this afternoon.

“How was your run?”

Maggie jumped at Josh’s quiet voice. He stood in the shadow of the hallway, outside the kitchen. Great. Here she stood, sweaty and gross—she stopped the thought. It didn’t matter. He was off-limits, no matter what his mother’s intentions were, or how much she wished circumstances could be different. “Oh, fine. It’s a lovely night. I met Hannah down the street.”

“That’s good. Mrs. Herman liked her a lot.” He hesitated. “Do you want to join Cody and me? We’ve got way more popcorn then we’ll ever eat.” He tipped the full popcorn bowl slightly in her direction.

Yes. The single word danced on the end of her tongue, but she bit it back. “Thanks, but not tonight.” But oh, she wished she could.

Even in the dim light of the foyer, she saw both relief and disappointment flash across his face, echoing what was warring inside her. She wasn’t sure if it made her feel better or worse to know he might be struggling with the same thing she was.

“Another time maybe.” He gave her a nod and turned to go in the living room.

“Maybe,” she echoed but knew she’d avoid it if she’d learned anything from their near-miss kiss that afternoon. Still, as she ran up the stairs, she couldn’t suppress a little shiver at how close they’d come, or the disappointment they’d been interrupted.

She wasn’t sure which one was more dangerous.


Chapter Four

“I’m sorry, Maggie, I’m running a little behind.” Josh’s harried voice carried clearly over the phone the next evening. “I know it’s pumpkin-carving night. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Maggie pulled two plates out of the cupboard. “It’s okay. It happens. We’ll wait for you.”

“If I’m going to be more than an hour I’ll call again. Then you can start without me.” Voices in the background, then Josh spoke again. “Gotta run. See you later.”

“Okay. Bye.” She hung up, turned to find Cody standing behind her.

“Was that my daddy?” he asked.

She reached out and touched his soft curls. He didn’t step away the way he would have a week ago. Her heart warmed. “Yep. He’s going to be a little late. We’ll go ahead and eat, okay? Then maybe we can get stuff set up so you and your dad can carve the pumpkins.”

After dinner and kitchen cleanup, Cody divided his time between the front window and the pumpkins lined up on the kitchen floor. So Maggie took matters into her own hands.

“Let’s get ready to carve. We can get the newspaper spread out to keep the floor clean,” she told Cody as she pulled a bunch of papers out of the recycle pile. “And we can start cleaning the pumpkins out. That way, when your dad gets here, you guys can start carving right away. Okay?”

Cody sent a lingering look at the door. “Okay,” he said with a dramatic sigh. She suppressed a smile.

“He’ll be here soon,” she assured the little boy and handed him a folded section of newspaper. “Open it like this, and lay it down. We’ll need a couple of layers.”

Josh walked in as they finished spreading the newspapers on part of the tile floor. Cody hurried over to greet him.

“Hi, Daddy! Look! We put papers down to keep the punkin stuff off the floor. And Maggie brought the punkins in so they wouldn’t get cold,” he added.

Josh tugged at his tie and arched his brow at Maggie. “Really? I didn’t know pumpkins got cold.” Despite his teasing tone, he looked tired. His hair was slightly mussed as if he’d thrust his fingers through it more than once. Her fingers itched to smooth it back down.

She gave him a little smile instead and kept her voice steady. “Well, they do inside. No way am I sticking my hand in a freezing cold pumpkin.”

Josh chuckled. “Good point.”

“Maggie said she’d make the seeds so we could eat ’em when we’re done,” Cody said.

“We’ll roast them. They make a yummy snack,” she explained.

“Sounds good. I’m going to go change. Be right back,” Josh said as he tugged the tails of his shirt out of the waist of his chinos. Maggie caught a glimpse of smooth skin and taut abs and her mouth went dry.

Then she gave herself a mental slap. Really? A teeny glimpse of skin was all it took to get her hormones fired up? Sheesh. She squeezed her eyes shut for a second, then shifted her attention to the little boy sitting by the pumpkins. He was her focus. Definitely not his father.

“Okay, Cody,” she said brightly. “Which one is yours again?”

She knew, of course, because he’d told her several times the biggest pumpkin was his. But she asked the question anyway since it guaranteed an excited response.

Cody patted the huge pumpkin. It hit him midthigh. “This one!” he said with glee.

Maggie smiled and pretended to slap her forehead. “Of course that’s yours. What was I thinking? Are you ready to help me clean it out?” She wrangled it onto the newspaper. Despite sitting in the house for the better part of the day, its smooth skin was cold under her hands. “Whew! This is awfully heavy, Cody. I bet it has a lot of seeds. Let’s see, okay?”

Cody did a little dance. “Yeah! I want to see.”

Josh reentered the kitchen. She looked up and managed to hold on to her smile when she took stock of him. Faded jeans, worn T-shirt, bare feet. She managed not to lick her lips and forced her attention back to the task at hand. “You’re just in time.”

He held her gaze just a fraction too long, then dropped away. She was afraid she’d glimpsed regret in his gaze. For what? He cleared his throat. “That’s good. I’m glad I made it. I wouldn’t want to miss this. Can I help?”

“Yes.” She held out her hand, pleased it stayed steady, in mock imitation of a surgeon. “Scalpel, please.”

His mouth twitched as he grabbed the pumpkin-carving tool off the counter and slapped it in her palm. “Check.”

She plunged the tool into the top of the pumpkin and sawed it around the crown. The rich, fresh scent of the fruit rose up and little bits of the shell went flying. Cody watched, leaning on his father, eyes huge. When she whipped the top off with a triumphant flourish, Josh grinned and nudged Cody.

“She doesn’t mess around, does she?”

Cody grinned back. “Can we carve it now?”

Maggie shook her head. “We have to clean it out, remember?” She tipped the pumpkin toward him. “Look at all the seeds. Let’s get them out of here. You want to help? Then you and your dad can start carving.”

Cody kneeled beside her and she handed him a pasta spoon with a smile. He returned her smile, then said softly, “I want to carve it with you.”

Maggie couldn’t breathe, caught in the little boy’s earnest bright blue eyes. Tears burned in her throat as her gaze flew to Josh, who wore a small smile, then back to his son. She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled at her nephew. “Then we’d better get cracking, don’t you think?”

* * *

Later that night Maggie sat on the front porch step, bathed in the glow of the orange twinkle lights strung on the porch railing. The full moon’s silvery cast provided additional light. She pulled a soft fleece throw tighter around her shoulders to ward off the evening chill. The carved pumpkins, all three of them, flickered at her feet.

Progress. She’d made it tonight with Cody. He’d wanted to give her a hug—finally—before he went to bed. A little shiver of joy slipped through her. She could still feel those strong little-boy arms around her neck.

From a nanny point of view, she figured he finally felt comfortable with her. That was a huge step, one she’d been waiting anxiously for. From the auntie point of view—well, he’d hugged her. A small smile tugged at her lips and she tipped her head up to look at the stars. What could be better?

Behind her the door opened and closed with a soft snick. She tensed as Josh eased himself down beside her, and willed the totally inappropriate warmth away. Being his employee was enough to make him off-limits. She couldn’t afford to make that mistake again.

Being her former brother-in-law sent it out of the park.

“I think you won Cody over tonight,” he said, his words accompanied with a puff of breath on the chilly air.

Pleasure slid through her and she smiled. “Not many kids, especially little boys, can resist the opportunity to get slimy.”

“True.” He draped his forearms on his knees with a low chuckle that heated Maggie in places she didn’t want to name. “For some of us, it never goes away.”

She laughed, started to rise. Best not to be out here with him too long. “Boys will be boys, I guess. Well, it’s late. I’m going to head in.”

He reached out and snagged her wrist. Her nerve endings briefly sizzled and she resisted the urge to yank her arm away. Her gaze locked on his. Even in the dim light she saw pain and pleading there. Her breath caught.

“Stay. Please. For a minute. If you’re cold we can go in. I just— I want to tell you a little bit about Cody’s mom. About what happened.”

Maggie stopped breathing. She sank back down carefully, as if moving too fast would shatter the moment and send it skittering out of her reach, like marbles on a hard floor.

“Okay,” she said, relieved her voice sounded normal. She chanced a peek at him, saw in the soft light the hard set of his jaw. She could almost feel the waves of tension rolling off him. Her belly clenched in response and she linked her fingers together tightly to keep them from shaking.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and Maggie held her breath, afraid to give away how badly she wanted to know. Why she wanted to know.

“This is hard,” he admitted, his voice rough. “I don’t talk about Lucy much. A lot happened after her death.” He stared down at the step, seeming to wrestle with something internally, and Maggie’s heart cracked. “I won’t burden you with the details. Suffice it to say her parents blamed me. But whatever our issues were, Lucy loved Cody. More than anything. She was a good mom. When I realized she wasn’t going to make it after the—the accident, I promised her I’d put Cody first, before anything and everything else. I don’t know if she heard me, but it’s a promise I’ve honored for almost four years. It’s the least I can do for her. And for Cody.”

Maggie swallowed. She heard both the warning and the regret in his voice. He’d made a vow and intended to keep it. She could understand and respect that, and she would. But still, there was no blame here.

She laid her hand on his arm and tried for diplomacy. “Josh, it’s not your fault she died. How could they think that?” A snowy night, the newspaper article had said, and the car hit a tree. Lucy had been the only occupant in the vehicle.

In the cold wash of the silver moon, she saw his features go even harder. The rough wool of his jacket scraped her hand when he pulled his arm away and stood up. “Because it’s the truth.” The rawness in his voice sliced across her soul. “Her family wants nothing to do with me. Sad to say, it’s mutual. I’m sorry I brought it up, Maggie. Not sure what I was thinking. Forget I said anything.”

Maggie squeezed her eyes shut against the burn of tears as he crossed the porch and closed the door behind him with a slight bang. She dropped her head to her knees as the tears made hot tracks down her cold cheeks.

Her family wants nothing to do with me.

Her stomach rolled, both at the words and the pain behind them. What a horrible situation for all of them. Her heart ached.

A terrible thought hit her. He wanted nothing to do with Lucy’s family. If he found out she was technically family...

He’d fire her and she’d lose her only connection to Cody and Lucy.

She sucked in a breath, the chilly air burning her lungs, and swiped at her wet cheeks. Her secret, and the choice she’d made to keep it, weighed on her more than ever. She’d made a hell of a mess of her good intentions.

Where did she go from here?

* * *

Josh avoided Maggie as much as possible over the next few days, given they lived in the same house. That she cared for his son. That they ate meals together. It made things a little tricky but it was better than examining why he’d felt compelled to try and explain the whole Lucy thing.

How I failed her. Though he figured he’d made that pretty clear.

On the other hand, hadn’t he intended to make clear why he was off-limits? Not that she’d pushed anything. He seemed to be the one struggling with this attraction thing. It had been a stupid lapse on his part.

“You and Cody still on for tonight?” Marta’s voice shattered his thoughts.

“Yeah. Cody can’t wait to spend the night. He’s talked about it all week.” Normally, Josh looked forward to the poker game he played with Travis and a couple of their buddies once a month. Cody stayed at Trav’s house with Marta and their son JT. Tonight he anticipated it for a completely different reason—it’d be legitimate time away from Maggie and her big blue eyes and all the temptations he’d shut himself off from. Things he hadn’t even known he’d missed, that really he’d never had with Lucy. He didn’t want to look at Maggie and see possibilities. It was too hard.

“So has JT.” Marta studied him, then seemed to rethink whatever she’d been about to say. Instead, she swung her bag on her shoulder. “We’ll see you in an hour or so.”

“Yep. See you then.”

Marta left and Josh pulled his stethoscope from around his neck and tossed it on his desk. He’d lock up, then stop on the way home for a six-pack. Maggie would have dinner ready and then he’d take his son and escape his own house.

* * *

Cody chattered nonstop the whole way to Marta and Travis’s house. Nothing out of the ordinary there. He enjoyed listening to the little guy talk. Josh turned into the driveway and Cody leaned over to peer out his window.

“I see him! I see JT!” he cried, and Josh laughed.

“I see him, too,” he said, waving at the little boy in the picture window. “Let’s get you inside.”

November had ushered in much colder, rainier weather and tonight was no exception. A few hard pellets of snow fell with the rain, tossed around by the brisk breeze. Josh opened Cody’s door, grabbed his son’s backpack and hurried behind him to the house. Marta had the door open before they even got on the porch. She closed it behind them as Cody and JT greeted each other with much excitement, then Cody shouldered his backpack and started to follow his friend.

“Hang on, Code.” Josh caught his son by the pack’s strap. “Give me a hug. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Cody hugged him hard and Josh inhaled the sweet scent of his son. “Okay, Daddy. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Josh ruffled Cody’s curls affectionately and watched as his boy hurried after JT. Josh turned to Marta, who looked at him with amusement. “What?”

“You’re such a good dad,” she said.

He arched his brow, feigning hurt. “What? That’s a surprise?”

She laughed. “Of course not. Not to me, anyway.”

Josh frowned, serious now. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you seem to think sometimes you aren’t. You’re too busy, he has a nanny, whatever. But the time you do spend with him, you make really count.” She punched him lightly on the arm. “Just an observation. Trav is in the garage. Don’t worry about Cody. He’ll be fine.”

“I know he will. Thanks, Marta.” Josh walked through the house to the back door. He could hear JT and Cody laughing and the sound made him smile as he left the house and jogged around to the garage. He wasn’t completely sure he believed Marta as far as being a good dad went. After all, Cody didn’t have a mom anymore—but he did try to be as present as possible for his son. When he wasn’t half-tangled in knots over the nanny, of course.

He wasn’t going any further down that road.

Travis glanced up as Josh entered the garage. “Give me a sec, then we’ll go.”

“No problem. We’ve got time.”

He waited while Trav finished up. Always, his friend tinkered with engines. This time, he had the hood up on his wife’s car. That same dedication made him an excellent mechanic and his garage so successful.

Trav dropped the hood with a thunk and washed up at the sink in the corner of the heated garage, then grabbed his jacket off the hood of his truck. “Ready to play?”

“I am,” Josh agreed.

“Where’s the nanny?”

“She has the night off.” Josh hoped Trav would leave it at that. Both men got in the SUV and Josh turned the engine over.

A pause. “So if she’s got the night off, why are you hanging with us?”

“It’s game night,” Josh said. He tried not to think of the awkward dinner they’d endured. While polite, she’d said as little as possible to him. Both of them had focused on Cody. When he’d left the house, she’d given Cody a hug.

He got a polite nod and she wished him luck.

“Let me get this straight,” Travis said as if Josh was somehow incapable of grasping the obvious. “You’ve got a gorgeous single woman under your roof and a place for Cody to go for the night. And you are going to hang out with the guys.” He shook his head.

Without thinking, Josh said, “How do you know she’s single and gorgeous? Where did you see her?”

Trav sent him a “gotcha” grin. “I didn’t know. Until now.”

Caught, Josh bristled. “It’s not like that. You of all people know why I’m not going there. On top of that, Maggie works for me. She’s great with Cody. I’m not going to screw that up.” Any more than he already had.

Trav sighed. “I know, man. I know. I just wish...” He trailed off.

“What?”

His friend took a minute before answering. “That you’d give yourself a chance. Or, I guess, let yourself have a chance. If it’s not Maggie, fine. But what happens when you meet someone and you want to pursue it?”

Josh’s insides twisted. “I won’t.” He sounded more resolute than he felt.

Travis was silent for a long moment, then said, “Have it your way.”

Josh didn’t answer. A hollow feeling filled his chest. For the first time he wondered if keeping his promise to Lucy was possible. Could he continue to put aside his needs, his life, as penance for the loss of hers? He’d been so careful for the past three years to avoid any kind of possible romantic entanglement. It hadn’t been difficult. Now he had a potential one living under his roof.

He tried to call up Lucy’s face, but her dark hair and blue eyes morphed into Maggie’s. He stifled a groan as he turned into the driveway of their buddy’s house. He needed to focus on what was really important here, which was Cody and his well-being. Trav was wrong. He wouldn’t be pursuing anyone. Cody needed him. All of him.




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