The Littlest Wrangler
The Littlest Wrangler
Belinda Barnes
HE WAS ONLY TWO, BUT HE KNEW A GOOD DEAL WHEN HE SAW IT!Will had never known a daddy before, but James Scott would be perfect for one. He knew how to ride bulls, how to ranch and how to scare away the monsters in the night. Toddler Will wondered why his mommy had brought him to this new home, but she and James kept talking about some perfect night long ago–a night that had changed their friendship forever.Will wasn't too sure about what was going on, but even the littlest of wranglers knew that sometimes grown-ups needed a little help in realizing what was meant to be!
So many times James had thought of her.
He had set out more than once to find Kelly, but each time had come back empty-handed. Now it was as if she’d never left. As if everything was the same.
Except for the child…
“Belinda Barnes delivers everything you want in a romance—a heart-tugging story filled with warm, wonderful characters.”
—Martha Shields, award-winning author
Dear Reader,
This June—traditionally the month of brides, weddings and the promise of love everlasting—Silhouette Romance also brings you the possibility of being a star! Check out the details of this special promotion in each of the six happily-ever-afters we have for you.
In An Officer and a Princess, Carla Cassidy’s suspenseful conclusion to the bestselling series ROYALLY WED: THE STANBURYS, Princess Isabel calls on her former commanding officer to help rescue her missing father. Karen Rose Smith delights us with a struggling mom who refuses to fall for Her Tycoon Boss until the dynamic millionaire turns up the heat! In A Child for Cade by reader favorite Patricia Thayer, Cade Randall finds that his first love has kept a precious secret from himstood frozen. He had to remind himself….
Talented author Alice Sharpe’s latest offering, The Baby Season, tells of a dedicated career woman tempted by marriage and motherhood with a rugged rancher and his daughter. In Blind-Date Bride, the second book of Myrna Mackenzie’s charming twin duo, the heroine asks a playboy billionaire to ward off the men sent by her matchmaking brothers. And a single mom decides to tell the man she has always loved that he has a son in Belinda Barnes’s heartwarming tale, The Littlest Wrangler.
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Happy Reading!
Mary-Theresa Hussey
Senior Editor
The Littlest Wrangler
Belinda Barnes
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To my editor, Tina Colombo, with heartfelt thanks and appreciation for your insight and gentle guidance
To Rox, Kathie and Janet for your unwavering support
To Kristi, Sandy, Terri and Virginia for your endless patience and creative perception
Books by Belinda Barnes
Silhouette Romance
His Special Delivery #1491
The Littlest Wrangler #1527
BELINDA BARNES
A romantic at heart, Romance Writers of America’s 1999 Golden Heart winner Belinda Barnes grew up in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, on the banks of the Arkansas River, where she dreamed of faraway lands, castles and princes. Though Texas is not all that far away, it is there Belinda found her prince.Together in their two-story castle they have raised two sons, a daughter and a menagerie of pets, including dogs, cats, tropical fish, turtles, hamsters, ferrets.With sons whose interests run the gamut from bull riding to racing cars and motorcycles, Belinda is more than ready for her daughter’s more sedate passions of dancing, singing and acting.
Belinda lives in Elm Mott, Texas, with her husband, her daughter and spoiled cat, Precious. In addition to fiction, she is published in magazine and book-length nonfiction. In her spare time she enjoys clogging, painting, reading, country-and-western music, dancing, fishing, scuba diving, camping and getting together with other writers.
Belinda loves to hear from readers. Write to her at P.O. Box 1165, Elm Mott, Texas 76640.
Contents
Chapter One (#ud1a42d34-d810-5f30-bf27-91d737433e37)
Chapter Two (#u7e9ea4be-4b10-559e-8e0d-d51e88014244)
Chapter Three (#u43c74eea-5582-5bc4-934c-282fb5df7e85)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One
She’d grown up in hand-me-downs, had a baby alone and left the only man she had ever loved, but this was the hardest thing Kelly Mathews had ever done.
“James, this is Will. Your son.”
No, that wasn’t right, either.
She pulled her hand away from the doorknob to James Scott’s equine veterinary clinic and marched back to her truck, her baby braced on her hip. She couldn’t face the father of her child until she had it right. But what could she possibly say to make him understand why she hadn’t told him he had a child?
She wouldn’t lie. A lie is what had gotten her into this whole mess. Well, not exactly a lie so much as withholding the truth. Not telling James about Will before now had been a doozy of a mistake. It certainly wasn’t the first one she’d ever made, but most definitely the biggest, second only to falling in love with Dr. James Scott. Her best friend.
Kelly’s head pounded as Will wriggled, wanting down. A wave of dizziness washed over her, forcing her to lean against the dented front fender of her truck. She tightened her hold on her child and tried to rein in her escalating fear that something was terribly wrong with her. Something that might take her from her son.
She pushed off from the faded-blue pickup and crossed the thick carpet of grass, lush and green from Texas’s spring rains. If she didn’t keep moving, she’d fall asleep on her feet. And she had to talk to James before that happened.
It was now or never.
Kelly sucked in a deep breath and squared her shoulders. As she pushed open the office door, she vowed her sweet baby’s future would include his father.
As she took one step inside the veterinary clinic, her gaze settled on James standing across the room, head down, making an entry in a file. Memories of their one night together rushed at her, followed by the pain of all the lonely nights that had come after. Tears of what might have been stung her eyes, but she blinked them away, determined to see this through for her baby’s sake.
James wore faded jeans, scarred boots and spurs, an indication he was probably on his way to the rodeo. The trophy buckle he’d won three years ago glistened against the denim shirt that covered his washboard abdomen, a sure sign he intended to do a little honky-tonking after his ride.
Even after all this time she still hated that buckle. It served as a neon light, flaunting his need to compete, his need to take foolish risks and avoid commitment. It also served as a reminder of why she’d had to leave, when in his arms was the only place she’d ever wanted to be.
She tried not to stare at James, but found herself looking at where his jeans met his boots. Then her gaze traveled up the muscled length of his long legs. Everything about the man—his confident stance and his angular jaw—screamed Bad Boy.
He hadn’t changed.
And neither had the way he set her heart to pounding.
Kelly met his dark gaze. His face mirrored his surprise. For a long moment he said nothing but watched her with eyes the color of warm whiskey kissed by the Texas sun, eyes that touched her as thoroughly as his hands once had. He appraised her in a leisurely manner, eliciting unguarded feelings she’d given in to once, feelings she knew she shouldn’t acknowledge. But it had been so long since she’d last seen him, and she had missed him so.
What a fool she’d been to think she could waltz in here and see James again and be okay. Well, she wasn’t okay. And she didn’t know if she ever would be.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He dropped the folder and pen on a nearby desk and sauntered toward her, his lips turning up in a devilishly sexy smile, the same smile that had captured her heart. “It’s about time you showed up again.”
She wondered if James would still be smiling once he learned why she’d returned and if he would give her a chance to explain.
As though reading her mind, he bent to glance at Will. “Hey, buddy. How are you doing?”
Their son hunched one shoulder and buried his face in the curve of Kelly’s neck.
She gave Will a reassuring squeeze. “He’s a little shy.”
James straightened and sent her a questioning look. “Who’s this little fella?”
The sound of the air conditioner, the faint country music, served as a backdrop to his sudden silence while he stood waiting, watching, thinking only God knew what. She struggled to contain her anxiety.
“Kelly?” He tilted her chin with his forefinger and looked into her eyes.
She didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to see the anger on his face. But most of all, she couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him any more than she already had.
Reminding herself why she’d returned, she forced back her apprehension. “This is Will, someone I want you to know. H-he’s my son.”
Something like disappointment clouded James’s eyes. “So you’re married?”
“No. Will’s two years old. He was born the fifth of May, two years ago.”
She watched him digest that, could see the wheels turning in his head as he mentally did the math. And she waited.
Fear made her tremble. Fear of what he would say, of the effect on her son. Had she made a wrong decision over two years ago? No, not about leaving. She’d had no choice. But she should have told James about Will a long time ago. He’d had a right to know.
Kelly locked her knees against the weariness that threatened to buckle her legs. She prayed James wouldn’t blame their child for what she had done. She prayed that he would grow to love Will. And she prayed he never discovered that, even after everything that had happened between them, after what she’d done, her feelings for him had never changed.
James’s smile faded. His eyes narrowed in question, shifting from her to Will, then back. “Are you telling me—”
“Will is your child.”
His child.
James Scott stood frozen. He had to remind himself to breathe. His head buzzed as if he’d taken a hard fall off the back of a bronc. The country music playing on the radio behind him faded into the background as her words hung in the air between them.
If he’d seen even a hint of a smile, he would suspect this to be one of the pranks they’d always played on each other, but the fear and exhaustion in Kelly’s eyes told him otherwise.
Her betrayal twisted his gut into a tight knot. “Why, Kelly? What made you think you had the right to keep this from me?”
She flinched. “I didn’t think—”
“You’ve got that right. You didn’t think or you would have known how I’d feel, what I’d say.”
“If you’ll just give me a chance to explain—”
“Why should I? You didn’t give me a chance,” he said, not allowing her the opportunity to defend her actions. He managed to keep his voice low enough not to frighten the boy. “And why are you telling me now?”
Her face was as pale as the white T-shirt she wore over a pair of blue jeans. She swayed, and he caught her elbow.
He muttered a curse. “You okay, Kel?” he asked, surprised at how calm his voice sounded when anger still pounded in his ears.
“I’m a little tired is all.” She stepped away from his touch, then looked from him to the child in her arms. “This is William James. He goes by Will.” Her eyes turned soft and warm as they lingered on the boy.
He studied the child’s chocolate-brown eyes, thick mahogany hair and olive complexion—too many similarities to ignore.
The boy watched him from the security of Kelly’s arms. Their eyes met and held until the toddler lowered his head against Kelly’s breast.
Something shifted in James’s chest, flooding him with an intense need to protect and something else he wasn’t sure he wanted to examine. “You should have told me before you left.”
“I didn’t know then.” She stifled a yawn.
He caught Kelly’s elbow and steered her to a chair, her arm fragile in his hand. “Let’s sit down where we can talk, before you fall asleep on your feet.”
Kelly sat on the edge of the chair. “I’m sorry. I’ve studied hard the past two weeks, even pulled several all-nighters. I loaded the truck yesterday after my last final and drove straight through from College Station to Willow Grove.” She tried to hide another yawn behind her hand. “I’m really, really tired, but I had to tell you.”
“Look, we’ve got some things we need to talk about, but you can barely keep your eyes open. Why don’t we go to my place? You can sleep for a while, then we’ll talk.” It would give him some time to think this whole thing through. After he cooled off.
She stood and blinked several times, as if focusing was difficult. “No, there’s so much to explain, so much I need to say. Just let me go splash some cold water over my face.”
He caught her arm when she tried to pass him. “Kel, I’ve already waited a couple of years. I reckon I can wait a while longer.” Maybe by then he would have regained control of the old feelings that had suddenly resurfaced. It was almost as if she’d never left. Only, he knew she had.
And now he knew she had also betrayed him.
The child began to fuss, and Kelly kissed his brow. “Just a second, sweetie, and we’ll leave.” She gave James an apologetic smile. “There’s a hotel not far from here where Will and I can get a room.”
“There’s no need for that,” he said, wondering at her reluctance to go home with him. Maybe it made her feel uncomfortable to go back to the place where they’d made love. “Look, Kel, you don’t need—”
“Thanks, but I can’t impose on you and your, uh, roommate.”
“Roommate?” Why would she think he had a roommate? He’d never had one before. “You care to explain that?”
When the child began to squirm, she shifted him to her other hip. “I assume you have someone living with you, James, that’s all.”
“Someone? You mean a woman?”
“No, James, I meant a tractor,” she said, her lips turning up in a grin that wavered, then slipped away as her eyes settled on him. “Of course I mean a woman.”
He had no intention of telling her he had only gone out twice since she’d left. Both times he had known five minutes into the date that it wouldn’t work. Because neither of the women had possessed Kelly’s quick wit or her sassy mouth. And neither had made him feel the way she did. “No, Kel, there’s no one.”
“Oh.”
“So will you go home with me now?”
When she didn’t answer right away, he said, “Come on. I’m not the big bad wolf. I’ll behave.”
Despite struggling to keep her eyes open, she smiled. “You forget I know you.”
“Can’t blame a fella for trying.” He lifted the restless child from her arms. Funny how holding Will seemed almost natural. He chalked it up to holding Cal’s daughter, Jessie, on more than one occasion. But this was different. This was his son.
He’d missed out on so much. As bad as he hated to admit it, he’d missed her while she’d been away at vet school. He’d missed the way she’d always pestered him, how she’d dragged stray cats and dogs to the clinic during off time and how she’d restored order to his disorderly life. But that was before she’d run out on him. Before this unthinkable deception.
James could see Kelly was exhausted. Her clothes hung on her as if she’d recently lost weight. She’d always pushed herself until she dropped, forgetting to eat, functioning on very little sleep.
As he led her outside, he circled his arm about her waist to steady her. She was so thin he could have spanned her waist with his hands. Half-asleep, she paused beside him while he locked the clinic door.
James noticed the slump of her shoulders, as if she bore the weight of the world—but then, Kelly always had. The sun low on the horizon revealed dark shadows beneath eyes that had once sparkled with life. Lines of exhaustion bracketed lips that used to smile without effort.
Her keeping the child a secret angered him, but his immediate concern was her welfare, because, as usual, it looked as though she’d taken care of everyone except herself.
The struggling child in his arms proved there was a side to her he didn’t know—a side capable of harboring painful secrets. For the time being he’d have to be content to know that by this time tomorrow he would have answers.
“Kel, you’re not in any shape to drive. Get in and scoot over. I’ll drive your truck and come back tomorrow to get mine.”
She gave him a smile that slid into a yawn. “I see you’re still as hardheaded as ever, James Scott, but I’m too tired to argue. You can drive, but take it easy. I’ve got Matilda in the horse trailer.”
“You still hauling that broken-down nag around?”
“She’s family.” Kelly leaned against the pickup’s fender. He hurried to steady her and lowered the boy to the ground, careful to see the child had his balance before he lifted Kelly and settled her inside the truck. When Will began to fuss, James picked him up and walked to the passenger’s side where he strapped the toddler into his car seat. He found a cup with a top and a built-in straw in the seat and stuck it in his mouth.
James circled her truck and horse trailer. Both had been junkers five years ago when Kelly had first come to work for him and his partner, Cal, at the veterinary clinic. They still were.
After checking the trailer hitch, he opened the driver’s door and paused. The end of Kelly’s long braid hung over her shoulder. Wild tendrils of gold had escaped the uneven plait and danced in the warm May breeze carrying the smell of a nearby hay field through the open windows. His hands itched to smooth the strands back into place.
So many times he’d thought of her. He had set out more than once to find her, but each time had come back empty-handed. Now it was as if she’d never left. As if everything was the same.
Except for the child.
And the lie.
After moving a blue notebook from the seat to the floor, James eased her over to sit between him and the boy. Reaching across her, he hooked her seat belt. Awareness swirled around him, beckoning him with her sweetness. He set his jaw, determined to ignore the familiar scent imbedded in his mind. He needed to keep a clear head, something he’d never been able to do around her, until they hashed things out.
He put the truck in gear and eased out the clutch. As he pulled away from the clinic, his attention on the trailer behind him, Kelly slid closer to him, her head nuzzling his shoulder.
James glanced at her. “From the looks of you, it definitely would have been a mistake to let you drive.”
“We made one mistake,” she mumbled, more asleep than awake. “We can’t afford to make another.”
He wasn’t sure whether she meant their one night together or the child. Either way, he wanted to argue the point with her, but she was already out.
He didn’t understand how she could have kept news of her pregnancy from him. She had never been one to play games. The only person who had more rules than Kelly was his dad, and, like the sergeant major, she lived by every stinking one of them.
Considering that, he cursed under his breath and glanced around her to the boy. Though Kelly had passed out, he should have been the one to faint dead away, after learning he was the father of a two-year-old.
Will offered Kelly his cup. When she didn’t move, the toddler cocked his head to one side and said, “Mama night-night.”
Warmth spiraled through James. “Yeah, Will. Mama’s gone night-night.”
The kid nodded and caught the straw with his mouth, then settled back to watch James, wariness in his eyes, the same sort of uncertainty James now felt.
As he turned the pickup onto the county road leading to his land, he couldn’t help but wonder if Kelly hadn’t told him because she’d believed him irresponsible. A rush of anger accompanied that thought, and he tightened his hands on the steering wheel. Well, she’d made her last sole decision where Will was concerned.
From here on out, James would have a say in his son’s future.
The bark of a dog somewhere outside drew Kelly from a deep sleep. She stretched and yawned, then turned on her side. The scent of potent male emanated from the pillow.
Kelly blinked several times before her eyes focused on framed photographs of horses against antique-white walls. A portable TV sat at an odd angle on the nightstand surrounded by stacks of veterinary medicine books and magazines.
She bolted into a sitting position and looked around. He had taken her to his bed. Again. Though last time she’d willingly followed him. Somehow she didn’t remember the bed being so big…or lonely.
Even cloaked in darkness, with soft light slipping through the closed curtains, she recognized his bedroom. She’d memorized every detail during their one time together—the night his gentle touch and honeyed words had broken down her defenses. The night she had given in to the secret love she’d harbored for her best friend. The night she had turned her back on the principles that had been the only constant in her life for as long as she could remember.
Dogs barked again somewhere outside, and the sound of Will crying came through the closed door. Kelly’s arms and legs felt heavy, but she yanked back the covers and jumped to her feet, thankful she still had on her clothes from the day before. Set into action by a deeply ingrained maternal instinct, she hurried to the door, wondering how long she had slept and whether Will was okay.
Her son’s fussing grew louder as she dashed down the hall. She knew instinctively that the man she’d once idolized could handle a two-year-old. She’d watched James work on injured horses and knew he always exercised the utmost care and responsibility. But was James with Will? The need to see for herself that her son was unhurt spurred her forward. Heaven only knew what Will had gotten into while she’d slept. The possibilities made her stomach churn.
Pulse racing, Kelly skidded to a stop as she entered the kitchen. Relief surged through her. She caught the door frame and drew a ragged breath.
Across the room her son knelt on a heavy oak chair pulled up to the open fridge. James stood beside him, dressed in jeans and a chambray shirt with cuffs rolled up to the elbow. Her gaze locked on his muscled forearms, then dropped to his standard, scuffed boots. She couldn’t help but wonder if those were the same boots he hadn’t managed to get off before they’d made love that first time. They hadn’t gotten as far as his bed, either. At least not the first time.
Or the second.
She closed her eyes and tried to ground herself. She’d forgotten how his towering height, his mile-wide shoulders and his to-die-for smile had always affected her.
They still did.
But it was so much more than just the way he was put together and what he did for denim. Her feelings for him ran deep and extended beyond their one night of lovemaking. Her continued longing for him was fueled by the memory of his tenderness and the things he’d said. That she was beautiful. That he wanted her.
He had said things that almost made her forget she had spent most of her life feeling unwanted.
She opened her eyes as James pulled a cardboard box off a wire shelf and offered Will something shriveled and dried. “What about pizza?”
Kelly started to protest, but Will pushed the food away while fussing and jabbering unintelligibly. She recognized her son’s renewed cries were caused by anger and frustration, probably from not getting his way. The only person more stubborn than Will was James. Again her thoughts whirled back to the night they had created Will. After the second time they’d made love, James had tried to tell her they needed to stop, because he didn’t want to hurt her. Kelly smiled at the memory. She’d been shamelessly persistent. Afterward she had been glad she’d broken down his resistance. That one night was all she’d had with him. It was all she would ever have.
Muttering, James tossed the pizza box behind him onto the table, barely visible beneath a pile of discarded items—the same table where he’d made slow, mind-shattering love to her the first time. “You’ve already polished off the only soda I had. That leaves a six-pack of beer, and you can’t have that.”
Will slid to the floor and kicked. When he wanted something, he wanted it immediately.
“Yeah. No offense, partner, but you’re a might young for beer.”
Will sniffled and toddled over to James, catching the leg of his jeans at knee level.
Something in Kelly’s chest shifted. She had known seeing James again would be difficult. But nothing had prepared her for the sight of father and son together. Regret filled her soul. She gulped a shaky breath before squaring her shoulders.
Kelly reminded herself that James had always been and probably still was a free spirit, not at all the commitment type. She would do well to remember why she’d left. But this wasn’t about her.
Would James resent her for tying him down? Was he ready to raise a child, ready for that kind of commitment? These were the same questions she had asked herself when she’d made the decision not to tell him she was pregnant.
But there was no one else to raise Will should the need arise.
“All right, Will.” James closed the refrigerator door and sat on the floor beside his son. “I reckon it’s time to wake your mama.”
Will crawled into James’s lap, and the cowboy looked a little ill at ease as he held his son.
“I’m awake.”
Will rushed at her, his bare feet slapping against the wood floor. She released the door frame and scooped him up into her arms. He snuggled against her shoulder, quiet and content for the moment. “Hey, sweetie. Have you been good?”
With his head buried in the curve of her neck, Will nodded.
Kelly sensed James watching her and tried not to look at him but failed. The cowboy still had the knack of disarming her with nothing more than a glance—and that glance had her remembering the rumpled bed they had fallen into the third time they’d made love.
As if reading her mind, James’s heated gaze started at her feet and worked its way up, lingering here and there, making her pulse race and her temperature rise. His brown eyes darkened as they had that night—the night she had tried so hard to forget. But the memory of his unhurried touches and lingering kisses was forever seared in her mind.
Kelly stiffened. She didn’t want to recall the gentleness of his callused hands, the way she’d responded to his touch, or the way his mouth had ignited flames that had consumed her.
No. She absolutely refused to think of that night again, but how could she forget when James kept looking at her like that?
“I—I’m sorry I couldn’t stay awake,” she said. “Thanks for watching Will.”
James shrugged and pushed to his feet, his seductive eyes never leaving her. “After I shower, we’ll head into town for some breakfast. I’ve had all night to think about us and what happened—”
“There is no us, James. There never was,” she said, the lie bitter on her tongue. “It was just sex between consenting adults, that’s all. And only the one night.” Kelly was sickened by her deceit and tried to walk past him, but he blocked her path, his nearness making her heart pound. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get Matilda out of the trailer and feed her.”
He touched her arm, then let his fingers trail down to her wrist, sending shock waves through her body. “We put her in the barn last night with my horses and went out earlier to feed the old nag. The boy seemed to get a kick out of that.”
“Thanks,” she said, cursing the wobble in her voice.
James watched her, his eyes clouding over like a summer storm. “I want answers, Kel. I don’t think you can convince me that what you did was right, but I’m willing to listen…after I shower.” James caught the front tails of his shirt and yanked. The snaps popped open, and as if drawn by a homing device, her gaze became riveted to his tanned chest and the dusting of dark hair.
“I’ll hurry,” he said as he strode past her and down the hall, his faded jeans caressing his backside with every fluid shift of his slender hips.
Her thoughts shattered. Kelly pulled a chair away from the table with a shaking hand and lowered herself, careful not to wake Will who had fallen asleep in her arms. She had convinced herself she would be immune to James’s blatant sexuality. Grabbing an envelope off the table to use as a fan, Kelly admitted she might have been wrong. Even though there were subtle differences in him, she had done the right thing by leaving. James was still too gorgeous for his own good. He oozed more sex appeal than should be legal. Still, he was Will’s father.
She cringed, knowing she shouldn’t blame everything on James. He couldn’t help how he looked or the way females threw themselves at him. She had watched him trying to put them off without hurting their feelings; he really was a good man. And living with James would be a sight better than having Will grow up in foster care with nothing but rejection and loneliness as his companions—if something happened to her.
She knew all about loneliness. It had sent her into James’s arms even though she’d seen him shy away from commitment with other women. After he’d made love to her, she had refused to cling to him the way some had tried. Unwilling to watch him withdraw emotionally from her, she had decided that for once in her life she wouldn’t be the one left behind and hurting. So, she’d done the only thing she could do—she’d left.
Kelly shifted Will on her lap and breathed in James’s scent that lingered on her son. Their son.
Odd she should be here now, seeking the aid of the fun-loving man she’d tried so hard to forget, but he was Will’s father. And she had no one else to turn to. Over her lifetime she’d made a lot of rules that she observed diligently. Coming back, speaking to James, meant breaking rules sixteen and seventeen, but there had been no other way. She couldn’t bear the thought of Will ending up alone. She wanted him to know James’s love.
Even if she never would.
Chapter Two
“Why didn’t you tell me?” James asked, leaning back in the cafe’ booth, the toes of his boots bumping against the other side. “I think I deserved to know.”
The hurt and anger raging inside him was directed at himself as much as Kelly. Not long after she’d left, he had tried to find her. He’d known nothing about her family. Maybe if he’d bothered to ask more questions about her past he might have found her. Maybe if he’d hired a private investigator after his own attempts had failed he would have known about his son.
“I know I made some mistakes and in the process hurt you and Will,” Kelly said, sounding defeated. “I can only say I struggled with my decision. I’m sorry, James, I never intended—”
“Sorry? Sorry is for forgetting to ask if I want onions on my hamburger. Sorry is for leaving the gate open and letting the mare out. But sorry doesn’t cut it with something as life changing as forgetting to tell me I have a son.”
She flinched as she finished pouring syrup over the child’s pancakes before placing the saucer on the high-chair tray. “You have every right to be angry with me.”
“You’re damned right I do.”
“No matter what you think, I really did struggle with whether or not to tell you.”
“For two years, Kel?”
“I wasn’t sure you would want to know.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Please don’t raise your voice. It upsets Will.”
When several customers looked their way, he focused on his clenched hands and counted to five. He noticed the child’s mouth quivered as if he might cry, but a comforting word from Kelly calmed him.
She met James’s gaze, lifting her coffee mug, clutching it until her knuckles turned white. “Not long after I returned to school, I began feeling awful. I got up sick and went to bed sick. I had to drop three classes to pull a decent grade in the others.”
“If you’d told me—”
“Please let me finish. I’m being honest with you and would like the same from you. If you had known, would you have come for me? Would you have married me and settled down?” she asked, her eyes filled with a deep sadness that tore at his insides. “And if you had done those things, would it have been because you wanted to or because you had to? And afterward would you have blamed me for ruining your life?”
He dragged a hand through his hair, not at all pleased with the conclusions she’d drawn, then and now. Maybe the only conclusions she could’ve drawn, considering his history with women. “Since you didn’t bother to tell me you were pregnant with my child, you know I don’t know what I would have done. But for that matter, neither do you.”
Kelly met his gaze. “James, you are a wonderful friend. My best friend…at least you used to be. In spite of what you might believe, I thought about this a long time before making up my mind. I didn’t think you would offer marriage, so I focused on Will.”
“Tell me the truth, Kel. Did you even consider what I’d want?”
“Do you think you could have made a life-long commitment to Will? I don’t mean dropping in once every year or so when you were passing through to a rodeo or hauling a horse to breed—but making planned trips to see him, only him. Being a father means making time, even if you miss your first ride at the next rodeo.”
“Whether I could have done that isn’t the issue here. You had no right to make that decision for me,” he said, no longer caring if other customers overheard.
“I realized not long ago that I’d been wrong to not tell you,” she said. “I can’t undo what I did or give you back the lost time with Will, but I can give you his future. I’m here for the summer so you can get to know your son.”
He wasn’t sure he’d heard her right, couldn’t figure out why she’d changed her mind. Until this moment blaming her had somewhat eased the stinging blow to his pride, but now the impact of her words hit him like the kick of a mare. Rather than rejoice that she had finally admitted to being wrong and was now allowing him to be Will’s father, he wondered whether he really could be a father. A good father.
His relationship with his own father was dismal at best. His dad barked orders, pointed out every mistake and expected James to jump like his troops on the military base. He’d always claimed he did it to make James better, stronger.
In spite of their inability to agree on anything, James called his dad every couple of weeks. Their conversations always ended in an argument. His father would point out that a real man would want to defend his country. James resented the not-too-subtle reminder that his dad believed him an irresponsible failure.
He watched Kelly help Will get a drink of milk. The boy fussed when she wiped his mouth with a moist towelette, using hands that were gentle yet strong, like the woman.
He had missed her, the friendship they’d shared, the way she had always supported him, believed in him without question. And he didn’t understand what had caused everything to get so messed up between them. “Kel, how can you have been so sure what I would have done back then, when I don’t know the answer myself? And what’s different now, that made you change your mind about me?”
Kelly tossed the used towelette on the table. “James, please.”
She pulled the tray out from the high chair and lifted Will into her lap. “I struggled and struggled with this from the beginning, wanting to tell you, hoping that maybe if you knew…”
“What?”
She bit her bottom lip. “I wanted to do the right thing for all of us—you, me and our child. I must have picked up the phone a million times.”
James frowned. He might have had a wild streak back then, but he wanted to think he would have taken care of his child. Sure, he’d always had to prove himself by riding the meanest bronc and the rankest bull, driving the fastest car and tossing back the most beer, but last year a bad spill in Fort Worth had made him realize he was jeopardizing his veterinary career. Now he only competed if someone needed a partner in team roping on weekends. Regardless, she ought to know he wasn’t completely without values.
“You should have called,” he said. “I would have come after you—”
“I did call.”
“When?”
“After Will’s birth.” Kelly nestled her cheek against the child’s head and cradled him in her arms, rocking back and forth as the boy’s hand caught hold of her braid, which had fallen over her shoulder.
“I don’t understand. I never got your message.” James couldn’t force himself to look away from their son playing with her hair. Memories of taking it down, running his hands through the thick mass and then, later, enjoying the feel of it across his chest distracted him.
“I didn’t leave a message. When I called, some woman answered.”
“A woman?”
“For all I knew, you had settled down with a live-in girlfriend or maybe even married. I didn’t want to complicate things for you, so I hung up.”
He frowned, trying to figure out who had answered his phone. “I’ve never had a woman living with me. When did you call?”
“May fifth at seven o’clock in the morning, two years ago.”
Realization dawned. “That was my baby sister, Lindsey.”
Kelly stilled. “Lindsey?”
“Yeah. She and her husband, Joe, and their two kids came for a visit. Joe had graduated from officer-candidate school at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and been made into what we always called a ‘shake and bake’ officer. They stayed here a week, then made their way to Houston where they caught a flight to Germany for a four-year hitch in the Army.”
“I didn’t know. I assumed—”
“You were wrong.”
She cocked her head to the side. “I see that now, but it was a natural assumption.”
“How do you figure that?”
“James, you’re like the blue-light special at the grocery. You can’t blame me for believing that some woman shopping for a man had finally snapped you up.”
“Why shouldn’t I? You blamed me for something I didn’t do.” He didn’t like how she made him feel, as if he were responsible for the man-chasing rodeo groupies. A niggling doubt sprang into his mind, and while he couldn’t accept it, he found himself asking, “Is that why you stayed with me that night? To see if you could snap me up?”
Her eyes widened. “Do you really believe I’d do that just to see if I could succeed where others had failed?”
He shrugged, his shoulders stiff.
“If you have to ask, it means you don’t know me at all,” she said.
“That’s the problem, Kel. I’m only now finding out I didn’t know you at all.”
Kelly shot him an exasperated look. “How can you say that?”
“Why did you do it, then? Were you using me to make someone else jealous?”
She stared at him a long time, and when he didn’t think he could stand the pain in her eyes any longer, she whispered, “No.”
Relief surged through him. He leaned his elbows on the table, admitting to himself that why she’d gone to his bed didn’t really matter now. It was in the past. His personal history had taught him to let go of things he couldn’t change, but he couldn’t easily dismiss what she had done.
James took a drink of coffee and remembered something she’d said. “You mentioned the rodeo a while ago. I know you’ve never really cared much for that part of my life. Did that have anything to do—”
“No. I didn’t used to like you to compete because of the risks you took. You could have been injured or worse.”
He didn’t plan to tell her an injury is what had made him quit. “I don’t have time for much of anything except the clinic now.”
“James, I know you’re really mad at me, but I’d like you to do me a favor. I was talking about priorities and whether you’d be able to make a commitment to Will. I’d like you to think about that and then answer it. Not for me, but for yourself. Answer it truthfully. Regardless of what you think, I didn’t come back to take potshots at you. Nothing would make me happier than to discover I’d misjudged you.”
She was right. The admission was like a burr under his saddle. She had based her decisions on what was best for Will, and he needed to do the same, but it was damned hard whenever Kelly was close at hand. He reacted to her nearness even while clinging to his hurt pride.
Her mentioning his need to avoid commitment opened old wounds he hadn’t allowed himself to think about for years. Although hidden deep inside, they were still raw and hurting even after all this time.
James swallowed past the ache that threatened to choke him. “You were wrong about me, about everything. I can be a good father. In fact, I intend to prove it now.”
James walked from the barn, still stinging from his conversation with Kelly earlier that morning. He heard the rattle of her truck as it bounced over the ruts in his drive. By the time he had made it to the front of the house, she was lifting Will from his car seat. “Did you find an apartment for the summer?” he called.
“Nothing I’d consider,” Kelly said, pushing back several strands of hair that had worked loose from her braid and blown across her face. “Since I’m still paying rent to keep my apartment in College Station I can’t afford much. There are plenty of cheap places if I want to live with roaches or rats. I’m kind of strange about sharing my living space.”
He caught the diaper bag from the back of her truck and, ignoring Kelly’s protests, lifted Will from her arms. “Here, let me help. You look as if you’re about to fall down. You should have let me go with you.”
She turned to look at him. “As you pointed out earlier, you have work to do, and I’m not helpless.”
He noticed again the shadows beneath her eyes and wished he’d kept his mouth shut about the chores he had to do. Yeah, he had a schedule to keep, but his refusal to accompany her had come more from the blow to his pride. He still couldn’t believe she thought he would have turned his back on his son.
Knowing she hadn’t needed him was hard to accept. But she had always been self-sufficient to the point of needing no one, something that used to bother him. It still did.
“Of all people you should know I don’t think you’re helpless, but little Will here is a chunk,” he said. “I’m here now, so let me help.”
“Okay,” she said, turning away, but not before he saw the worry and something that resembled remorse in her eyes. He shouldn’t want to comfort her, but he did. And that aggravated him almost as much as the realization that he hadn’t known her the way he’d once thought he had. But then, she’d always been content to sit and listen to him. He doubted there was anything about him she didn’t know. Only now did he realize she’d seldom talked about herself. The things he did know about her, he’d learned from years of observation.
“If I’m supposed to bond with Will, it makes sense for you both to stay here with me,” he said. “After all, it’s only for the summer.”
That statement earned him a frown from her. He didn’t care whether she liked it or not. He had every intention of spending time with his son, no matter what she wanted.
Kelly climbed the steps to his porch, her feet dragging. “You know I can’t do that.”
“Why?” James followed her, trying not to notice the gentle sway of her jean-clad hips. He opened the screen door and held it while she stepped inside, then cursed himself for watching her cross the room.
About the time sweat began to pop out on his forehead, she turned back to face him. “You don’t need us underfoot all the time. You know I’d drive you crazy.”
She had a point. She was driving him crazy now—he was insane with a need for her, a need to kiss that mouth.
He watched her, noticing she avoided looking him in the eye. “Bull. I tolerated you just fine before.”
“That was at work. You’re not used to having extra people around your house. I think it’s best—”
“Best? For who? You?”
“For Will, of course. Everything I do is for him.”
“I hope you’re buying that lame excuse, Kel, because I’m sure not.”
He knew why she didn’t want to stay, and it had nothing at all to do with inconveniencing him. She obviously didn’t think he’d be a good example for the boy. A sudden feeling of inadequacy filled him, replaced in an instant with anger that had been smoldering, barely under control, since that morning. “You’re using all these convenient excuses same as when you made your decision not to tell me about Will.”
His tone made Will pucker up to cry.
“Aw, hell,” James muttered.
Kelly shot James a dirty look as she took Will and lifted him to her shoulder. She calmed the child with quiet words and loving pats on his back that distracted James.
When the boy had stopped crying, Kelly squared off across from James. “What did you mean excuses?”
“Come off it, Kel. You know exactly what I meant. You think I’ll have him chewing tobacco and chasing women by the time he’s three.” James kept his voice low, but didn’t know how he’d managed it, because his insides churned.
Her eyes blazed as she stared at him. “I think I’d better leave. This isn’t getting us anywhere. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to keep Matilda here until I can find a place to board her. I’ve got some feed in the trailer, but will pay you—”
James tore his fingers through his hair. “Don’t do this, Kel.”
“I think we’ve proven we can’t be in the same room without sparks flying. We both need to cool down. I’ve already done several things I swore not to do. I won’t make an already difficult situation worse.” She caught the strap of the diaper bag and lifted it over her shoulder.
“Where are you going?” James asked, knowing he shouldn’t care. But he did.
“To get a room at a motel.” She headed out the door toward her truck.
He wanted to stop her, pull her into his arms and hold her. It made no sense at all, but nothing ever had, not where Kelly was concerned. Swearing under his breath, he followed her. “Will you call and let me know where I can reach you?”
“I want to visit Cal and meet his new wife, so I’ll drop by the clinic sometime tomorrow.” She hooked Will in his car seat and hurried around the rusted-out truck.
Unable to watch her go, James strode after her and caught the door just before she closed it. “Kel, wait. Can’t we talk?”
She swallowed hard and looked out the windshield. “I don’t know if that would help.”
“I’m here now, willing to listen. What do you say we give it a try?”
“I’m too tired to talk today,” she said.
“At least let me know what motel you’re at.” He finally let her slam the door.
With a lingering glance in his direction, Kelly started the pickup and backed down his driveway.
James stood there long after she’d disappeared around the curve in the road. He thought about all the things she’d said today and found he didn’t much like what he’d heard or the way he saw himself through her eyes.
It had been a long time since James had felt this out of sorts. He shouldn’t care about Kelly’s plans for his son’s future or that they didn’t seem to include him; he hadn’t even known about the boy until twenty-one hours ago. The fact that he worried about her at all irritated him almost as much as his inexplicable need to be with his son…and Kelly.
He headed toward his truck, cursing the vision of her that suddenly filled his head. Maybe several beers would help him forget how good she looked and her enticing scent. He doubted it would.
He needed to forget that while struggling to bring his child into this world, Kelly had found suffering alone preferable to leaning on him.
Kelly locked the motel door and slid the chain in place. She didn’t like the room or the location of the motel, but after stopping at five others that were full because of the rodeo in town that weekend, she would have to make do. Her only other option was to stay with James. She didn’t know if she could do that without slipping up and letting him see how much she still cared.
“Here, sweetheart, let me get your horse.” She pulled the stuffed horse from the diaper bag and gave it to Will, who settled on the floor with his favorite toy.
The room echoed with loneliness after the time she’d spent with James. Funny, she’d lived alone until Will’s birth, then it had been just the two of them. After only one day with James, she realized how much she’d missed adult conversation—almost as much as she’d missed him. Sure, she’d been around other students, but they were always listening to lectures. After class, she’d rushed to her job. And then there’d been Will.
Kelly’s thoughts drifted back to James. She had wanted to stay with him, but no telling what she would have done if she had. That’s why she’d created rule fifteen, to prevent that from happening. Though, actually, he had surprised her. He hadn’t done any of the things she’d expected when he’d learned he had a son. With only minimal ranting and raving, he’d taken her home with him, and even after she’d made a mess of explaining things by blurting out her feelings, he’d offered them a room.
She wasn’t sure the cowboy she’d once known would have sat still while she questioned his character. And if he had, he certainly wouldn’t have asked her to stay.
And now, thinking back on all she’d said, Kelly couldn’t remember when she’d wanted anything more than to be with James. Her reasons for leaving had everything to do with the way James had made her feel, just as it had before she’d left town three years ago.
Seeing him again had been a shock. The hurt she’d glimpsed when he’d thought she was married had almost been her undoing. But she’d prepared herself, knowing being around him again after all this time would be difficult. She’d formulated several new rules especially for the occasion. Still, it had taken all her strength to keep from walking into his arms, the only place she wanted to be.
Maybe she should call him. After all, he had asked how he could locate her. What could it hurt? She could smooth things over, make sure he hadn’t taken offense to her refusal to stay with him. If he got angry, he might change his mind about getting to know Will, and that’s why she’d put them both through the hell of telling him he had a son.
Kelly sat on the edge of the bed and punched in James’s home phone number. She knew it by heart, having dialed it hundreds of times in the past. Kelly clutched the phone so tightly her hand ached. After the sixth ring she replaced the receiver on the cradle as she had so many times before.
She stood and paced the room, so tired she wanted nothing more than to go to bed. What if he had gotten upset? What if he’d had an accident? What if he had gone out with another woman? Kelly patted Will’s head as she hurried back to the phone, her pulse racing as she dialed James’s cell phone number.
He answered on the fourth ring. “It’s your nickel.”
The twang of country music drifted through the phone line, all but drowning out his voice.
She started to hang up, thinking that he might actually be with someone else. One glance at Will made her change her mind. “James?”
“Kelly?”
She imagined him seated in some honky-tonk with a voluptuous blonde on each knee. “I—I wanted to let you know where I’m staying, in case you need me.”
“Just a sec.” The crackle of paper sounded. “Okay, shoot.”
“I’m at the Country Inn.”
“What room?”
Kelly paused, trying to decide whether to tell him. What could it hurt? If an emergency arose, he would need to know how to contact her. Besides, she’d missed him and their friendship and hoped they could regain the easy camaraderie they’d always shared, though secretly she would always want more. If his friendship was all she could have, then that was better than nothing. Nothing is what she’d had the past three years. She’d missed him more than she’d believed possible. There were worse things than being just his friend.
“Kelly, are you still there?”
“Yeah. It’s room twenty-two.”
“Have you had supper?” he asked, his voice a seductive rumble that sent a shiver of awareness through her.
“No, I thought once we got settled maybe we’d get something.”
“Would you let me take you and Will out to eat?”
Her pulse sped up. She wanted to say yes, but feared it would be a repeat of their earlier conversation. “I’m really tired, and tomorrow will be another full day of looking for a place to live.”
“What if I grab some burgers and swing by?”
Kelly knew she should refuse, but she really was more exhausted than she’d thought. “I’d like that, James. But could you bring a grilled cheese sandwich for Will?”
He didn’t respond for a moment, and if it hadn’t been for the music blaring over the phone line, she would have thought they’d lost their connection. Finally he said, “Great. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
“All right,” she said, the words coming out thick, sounding like someone else. The connection went dead then, and Kelly listened to the buzz for a minute before returning the phone to its cradle.
Inviting James to her room had been foolhardy. She knew better. The knowledge that he would be there shortly sent an adrenaline rush through her. But she had a responsibility to her son. She’d made a promise to him and to herself, a promise she intended to keep. She wasn’t about to let an excess of hormones and one sexy cowboy get in the way of her child’s future.
When James arrived, she would take the food, thank him for his trouble and ignore him while he visited with Will. She had fallen for James’s good looks once. No, that wasn’t necessarily true. It had been so much more than just his looks, and she reminded herself of why she’d come back.
Kelly had only invited James over because she was too tired to go and get Will’s dinner. Anyone could make a mistake…once. From now on, she would stay focused on her goal. She would not fail. Her son’s future depended on it.
As of this minute James Scott could walk naked into the room and she would not notice. It was a simple matter of discipline and concentration.
Of course, she’d never been able to hold a thought around him.
With or without his clothes.
Chapter Three
James parked in front of room twenty-two of the Country Inn and shut off his truck. He opened his door, grabbed the sack of food and tray of drinks and slid from the pickup, kicking the door shut.
Two disreputable-looking thugs sat on the hood of a car a few rooms down. Another three straddled motorcycles. They watched James, their body language challenging and belligerent, something he knew about firsthand. Without turning his back on them, he knocked on the door. After the way things had gone earlier with Kelly, he would welcome a good fight, but first he needed to make sure she and Will were safe.
When the lock turned and the door swung open, he stepped inside without waiting for an invitation. “Pack your bags.”
Kelly’s mouth fell open, and she sputtered.
“Do you have any idea of the lowlifes that roam this area?” he asked. “There are five waiting outside right now, probably planning what they’ll do to you when I leave. You can forget staying here.”
He knew she’d gone from shock to anger when her mouth pursed and her eyes turned cold as the pond in his south pasture in January. And he didn’t think her spine could get any more rigid.
“In case you didn’t notice, James, there is a lock on the door and a safety chain.”
“Yes, and those guys out there can probably pick it faster than you can open it from the inside. In fact, they’d probably kick it in to save time. And that stupid chain is more for your peace of mind than protection. One good shove from the other side, and it’ll pop.”
A tug on one leg of his jeans made him look down. Will stood reaching for him. He bent to gather his son in his arms. It felt so strange, this intense need to protect.
Picking up Will had been as natural as drawing a breath. The boy leaned his head on James’s shoulder, then seemed content to play with the snaps on his shirt.
Trying to sort through the things Will made him feel, James glanced around the shabby room, then turned to Kelly. “Get your stuff together. We’re leaving.”
She paced the length of the room, then turned back to him. “With the rodeo in town, there aren’t any other rooms.”
“Then you’re staying with me.”
At the uncertainty in Kelly’s eyes, he stepped toward her. “I promise not to crawl into your bed when you go to sleep if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She lifted her chin a fraction. “No, that’s not what I thought.”
“Good, because if you insist on staying here, then I’m staying, too. And frankly I’m not sure that bed is big enough for the three of us—but I’m willing to give it a try.”
“I guess under the circumstances it wouldn’t hurt to stay with you, just for one night,” she said, unable to hide the worry in her voice. “Hopefully, I’ll find a place of my own tomorrow.”
It annoyed him that she seemed determined to put as much space as possible between them. “Like you said, Kel, this is about what’s best for the boy.”
She finally nodded as she covered a yawn. “I’ll get our things.”
When she’d packed their bags, James carried them out to his truck, then made sure she and Will were securely locked in her pickup without incident before he climbed into his. The five men were still seated outside the motel but were busy talking with a couple of women who had arrived.
When Kelly parked at the motel office to turn in the key, James pulled up beside her and told her to stay put. Ignoring her frown, he took the key and tossed it to the night clerk.
Once inside his truck, James signaled for Kelly to go on ahead. He didn’t like the idea of her being out alone at night and intended to keep her in sight until they reached his place.
James was pleased Kelly hadn’t put up much of an argument over staying with him. She sure hadn’t much liked the thought of him sharing her motel bed. He probably shouldn’t have said that. Not that it mattered. She already had a low opinion of him. In fact, it probably couldn’t get much worse. For some reason that bothered him.
But he wouldn’t dwell on that. He chose to recall the warmth that had spread through him earlier when his son had lifted his arms, wanting James to hold him.
His son.
Kelly rolled the blanket James had tossed her and tucked it into the crack between the bed and the wall. “I hate to take your bed again, James. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”
“No. I stayed awake most of last night, trying to keep Will from rolling off that couch. It’s best to put him in here with you. I’ll sleep out there until I can get the spare bedroom cleaned out.”
Despite his words, Kelly knew James’s legs would hang over the edge of the couch. He wouldn’t get any rest. Still, she knew it was better for her and Will to be in the bed. Used to a baby bed, her son twisted, turned, and flopped in all directions while he slept. Even with her on the outside as a barrier, she’d be lucky to keep Will from falling out during the night.
James lifted Will from the temporary pallet they’d made for him on the floor. Leaning across the bed on one knee, he settled the child on the far side.
Kelly rolled another blanket and put it down the center of the bed to keep Will from traveling too far.
“Well, I’ll see you in the morning,” James said as he headed toward the door. He paused and turned back to her. “I didn’t mean to bully you, but I couldn’t leave you at that motel.”
She knew he had done the right thing. “I hadn’t realized that area of town had run down so much since I’d left. I wouldn’t have checked in if I’d known.”
James didn’t move to leave. He hooked a thumb in a belt loop and watched her watching him.
His day-old growth of whiskers lent him a sexy look. He wore it well. “James,” Kelly said, her voice husky, “you never asked me about Will, you know, whether or not he was yours.”
A sadness she didn’t understand filled his eyes. “You want me to ask for proof that he’s mine?”
Actually, she wished he would shout, demand proof. Maybe that way she wouldn’t feel so bad about not telling him. “I thought you would.”
“I was your first, Kel. I don’t deny that.” His gaze moved over her, burning her with its intensity. “Of course, we only spent that one night together. And I was careful. I used protection every time.”
“That’s what I thought, but as you can see—” she inclined her head toward their child “—something went wrong. I don’t remember you stopping to read the directions. Maybe you put them on wrong.”
James laughed. “Me? Come on, Kelly, I’m not some snot-nose kid. I’ve used my share of condoms. I know what to do without reading the back of the box.”
“And I’ve only been with one man. Ever.” Now why the devil had she told him that?
Her admission brought a lazy smile to his lips, making Kelly wish she could take back the words.
“Why did you run out on me, Kel?”
She could hear the hurt in his voice, but knew well enough from her youth that people often forgot promises when it was convenient. She knew the pain of waiting for someone who never returned. At some point she’d quit believing anyone ever would.
After their one night together, she couldn’t stand by not knowing whether he, too, would withdraw from her emotionally. Past experience had forced her to leave, so she wouldn’t have to face him pulling away. But she couldn’t tell him that now. He wouldn’t understand; she wasn’t sure she did, either. Not anymore. Not after missing him so much.
She shrugged. “I had to get back to school.”
James shifted his weight to the other hip, drawing her attention to the soft jeans molded to his powerful thighs and the shirt stretched tight across his broad shoulders.
His amber eyes beckoned, darkening until she could no longer distinguish his pupils from the irises. Time had deepened the creases that fanned outward from his eyes and set off an avalanche of memories of the last time they’d shared this room, that night after he’d won the rodeo.
They hadn’t talked. They had communicated with tender caresses that made her burn, heated kisses that left her breathless and an insatiable need for each other that had kept them from sleeping until dawn.
Then she’d awakened. Alone. Even after learning he’d had an early clinic appointment, she couldn’t shake her growing fear of abandonment.
She suddenly was almost too weary to stand. “If there’s nothing else you want to know, I’d better get some sleep.”
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Belinda Barnes
HE WAS ONLY TWO, BUT HE KNEW A GOOD DEAL WHEN HE SAW IT!Will had never known a daddy before, but James Scott would be perfect for one. He knew how to ride bulls, how to ranch and how to scare away the monsters in the night. Toddler Will wondered why his mommy had brought him to this new home, but she and James kept talking about some perfect night long ago–a night that had changed their friendship forever.Will wasn't too sure about what was going on, but even the littlest of wranglers knew that sometimes grown-ups needed a little help in realizing what was meant to be!
So many times James had thought of her.
He had set out more than once to find Kelly, but each time had come back empty-handed. Now it was as if she’d never left. As if everything was the same.
Except for the child…
“Belinda Barnes delivers everything you want in a romance—a heart-tugging story filled with warm, wonderful characters.”
—Martha Shields, award-winning author
Dear Reader,
This June—traditionally the month of brides, weddings and the promise of love everlasting—Silhouette Romance also brings you the possibility of being a star! Check out the details of this special promotion in each of the six happily-ever-afters we have for you.
In An Officer and a Princess, Carla Cassidy’s suspenseful conclusion to the bestselling series ROYALLY WED: THE STANBURYS, Princess Isabel calls on her former commanding officer to help rescue her missing father. Karen Rose Smith delights us with a struggling mom who refuses to fall for Her Tycoon Boss until the dynamic millionaire turns up the heat! In A Child for Cade by reader favorite Patricia Thayer, Cade Randall finds that his first love has kept a precious secret from himstood frozen. He had to remind himself….
Talented author Alice Sharpe’s latest offering, The Baby Season, tells of a dedicated career woman tempted by marriage and motherhood with a rugged rancher and his daughter. In Blind-Date Bride, the second book of Myrna Mackenzie’s charming twin duo, the heroine asks a playboy billionaire to ward off the men sent by her matchmaking brothers. And a single mom decides to tell the man she has always loved that he has a son in Belinda Barnes’s heartwarming tale, The Littlest Wrangler.
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Happy Reading!
Mary-Theresa Hussey
Senior Editor
The Littlest Wrangler
Belinda Barnes
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To my editor, Tina Colombo, with heartfelt thanks and appreciation for your insight and gentle guidance
To Rox, Kathie and Janet for your unwavering support
To Kristi, Sandy, Terri and Virginia for your endless patience and creative perception
Books by Belinda Barnes
Silhouette Romance
His Special Delivery #1491
The Littlest Wrangler #1527
BELINDA BARNES
A romantic at heart, Romance Writers of America’s 1999 Golden Heart winner Belinda Barnes grew up in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, on the banks of the Arkansas River, where she dreamed of faraway lands, castles and princes. Though Texas is not all that far away, it is there Belinda found her prince.Together in their two-story castle they have raised two sons, a daughter and a menagerie of pets, including dogs, cats, tropical fish, turtles, hamsters, ferrets.With sons whose interests run the gamut from bull riding to racing cars and motorcycles, Belinda is more than ready for her daughter’s more sedate passions of dancing, singing and acting.
Belinda lives in Elm Mott, Texas, with her husband, her daughter and spoiled cat, Precious. In addition to fiction, she is published in magazine and book-length nonfiction. In her spare time she enjoys clogging, painting, reading, country-and-western music, dancing, fishing, scuba diving, camping and getting together with other writers.
Belinda loves to hear from readers. Write to her at P.O. Box 1165, Elm Mott, Texas 76640.
Contents
Chapter One (#ud1a42d34-d810-5f30-bf27-91d737433e37)
Chapter Two (#u7e9ea4be-4b10-559e-8e0d-d51e88014244)
Chapter Three (#u43c74eea-5582-5bc4-934c-282fb5df7e85)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One
She’d grown up in hand-me-downs, had a baby alone and left the only man she had ever loved, but this was the hardest thing Kelly Mathews had ever done.
“James, this is Will. Your son.”
No, that wasn’t right, either.
She pulled her hand away from the doorknob to James Scott’s equine veterinary clinic and marched back to her truck, her baby braced on her hip. She couldn’t face the father of her child until she had it right. But what could she possibly say to make him understand why she hadn’t told him he had a child?
She wouldn’t lie. A lie is what had gotten her into this whole mess. Well, not exactly a lie so much as withholding the truth. Not telling James about Will before now had been a doozy of a mistake. It certainly wasn’t the first one she’d ever made, but most definitely the biggest, second only to falling in love with Dr. James Scott. Her best friend.
Kelly’s head pounded as Will wriggled, wanting down. A wave of dizziness washed over her, forcing her to lean against the dented front fender of her truck. She tightened her hold on her child and tried to rein in her escalating fear that something was terribly wrong with her. Something that might take her from her son.
She pushed off from the faded-blue pickup and crossed the thick carpet of grass, lush and green from Texas’s spring rains. If she didn’t keep moving, she’d fall asleep on her feet. And she had to talk to James before that happened.
It was now or never.
Kelly sucked in a deep breath and squared her shoulders. As she pushed open the office door, she vowed her sweet baby’s future would include his father.
As she took one step inside the veterinary clinic, her gaze settled on James standing across the room, head down, making an entry in a file. Memories of their one night together rushed at her, followed by the pain of all the lonely nights that had come after. Tears of what might have been stung her eyes, but she blinked them away, determined to see this through for her baby’s sake.
James wore faded jeans, scarred boots and spurs, an indication he was probably on his way to the rodeo. The trophy buckle he’d won three years ago glistened against the denim shirt that covered his washboard abdomen, a sure sign he intended to do a little honky-tonking after his ride.
Even after all this time she still hated that buckle. It served as a neon light, flaunting his need to compete, his need to take foolish risks and avoid commitment. It also served as a reminder of why she’d had to leave, when in his arms was the only place she’d ever wanted to be.
She tried not to stare at James, but found herself looking at where his jeans met his boots. Then her gaze traveled up the muscled length of his long legs. Everything about the man—his confident stance and his angular jaw—screamed Bad Boy.
He hadn’t changed.
And neither had the way he set her heart to pounding.
Kelly met his dark gaze. His face mirrored his surprise. For a long moment he said nothing but watched her with eyes the color of warm whiskey kissed by the Texas sun, eyes that touched her as thoroughly as his hands once had. He appraised her in a leisurely manner, eliciting unguarded feelings she’d given in to once, feelings she knew she shouldn’t acknowledge. But it had been so long since she’d last seen him, and she had missed him so.
What a fool she’d been to think she could waltz in here and see James again and be okay. Well, she wasn’t okay. And she didn’t know if she ever would be.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” He dropped the folder and pen on a nearby desk and sauntered toward her, his lips turning up in a devilishly sexy smile, the same smile that had captured her heart. “It’s about time you showed up again.”
She wondered if James would still be smiling once he learned why she’d returned and if he would give her a chance to explain.
As though reading her mind, he bent to glance at Will. “Hey, buddy. How are you doing?”
Their son hunched one shoulder and buried his face in the curve of Kelly’s neck.
She gave Will a reassuring squeeze. “He’s a little shy.”
James straightened and sent her a questioning look. “Who’s this little fella?”
The sound of the air conditioner, the faint country music, served as a backdrop to his sudden silence while he stood waiting, watching, thinking only God knew what. She struggled to contain her anxiety.
“Kelly?” He tilted her chin with his forefinger and looked into her eyes.
She didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to see the anger on his face. But most of all, she couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him any more than she already had.
Reminding herself why she’d returned, she forced back her apprehension. “This is Will, someone I want you to know. H-he’s my son.”
Something like disappointment clouded James’s eyes. “So you’re married?”
“No. Will’s two years old. He was born the fifth of May, two years ago.”
She watched him digest that, could see the wheels turning in his head as he mentally did the math. And she waited.
Fear made her tremble. Fear of what he would say, of the effect on her son. Had she made a wrong decision over two years ago? No, not about leaving. She’d had no choice. But she should have told James about Will a long time ago. He’d had a right to know.
Kelly locked her knees against the weariness that threatened to buckle her legs. She prayed James wouldn’t blame their child for what she had done. She prayed that he would grow to love Will. And she prayed he never discovered that, even after everything that had happened between them, after what she’d done, her feelings for him had never changed.
James’s smile faded. His eyes narrowed in question, shifting from her to Will, then back. “Are you telling me—”
“Will is your child.”
His child.
James Scott stood frozen. He had to remind himself to breathe. His head buzzed as if he’d taken a hard fall off the back of a bronc. The country music playing on the radio behind him faded into the background as her words hung in the air between them.
If he’d seen even a hint of a smile, he would suspect this to be one of the pranks they’d always played on each other, but the fear and exhaustion in Kelly’s eyes told him otherwise.
Her betrayal twisted his gut into a tight knot. “Why, Kelly? What made you think you had the right to keep this from me?”
She flinched. “I didn’t think—”
“You’ve got that right. You didn’t think or you would have known how I’d feel, what I’d say.”
“If you’ll just give me a chance to explain—”
“Why should I? You didn’t give me a chance,” he said, not allowing her the opportunity to defend her actions. He managed to keep his voice low enough not to frighten the boy. “And why are you telling me now?”
Her face was as pale as the white T-shirt she wore over a pair of blue jeans. She swayed, and he caught her elbow.
He muttered a curse. “You okay, Kel?” he asked, surprised at how calm his voice sounded when anger still pounded in his ears.
“I’m a little tired is all.” She stepped away from his touch, then looked from him to the child in her arms. “This is William James. He goes by Will.” Her eyes turned soft and warm as they lingered on the boy.
He studied the child’s chocolate-brown eyes, thick mahogany hair and olive complexion—too many similarities to ignore.
The boy watched him from the security of Kelly’s arms. Their eyes met and held until the toddler lowered his head against Kelly’s breast.
Something shifted in James’s chest, flooding him with an intense need to protect and something else he wasn’t sure he wanted to examine. “You should have told me before you left.”
“I didn’t know then.” She stifled a yawn.
He caught Kelly’s elbow and steered her to a chair, her arm fragile in his hand. “Let’s sit down where we can talk, before you fall asleep on your feet.”
Kelly sat on the edge of the chair. “I’m sorry. I’ve studied hard the past two weeks, even pulled several all-nighters. I loaded the truck yesterday after my last final and drove straight through from College Station to Willow Grove.” She tried to hide another yawn behind her hand. “I’m really, really tired, but I had to tell you.”
“Look, we’ve got some things we need to talk about, but you can barely keep your eyes open. Why don’t we go to my place? You can sleep for a while, then we’ll talk.” It would give him some time to think this whole thing through. After he cooled off.
She stood and blinked several times, as if focusing was difficult. “No, there’s so much to explain, so much I need to say. Just let me go splash some cold water over my face.”
He caught her arm when she tried to pass him. “Kel, I’ve already waited a couple of years. I reckon I can wait a while longer.” Maybe by then he would have regained control of the old feelings that had suddenly resurfaced. It was almost as if she’d never left. Only, he knew she had.
And now he knew she had also betrayed him.
The child began to fuss, and Kelly kissed his brow. “Just a second, sweetie, and we’ll leave.” She gave James an apologetic smile. “There’s a hotel not far from here where Will and I can get a room.”
“There’s no need for that,” he said, wondering at her reluctance to go home with him. Maybe it made her feel uncomfortable to go back to the place where they’d made love. “Look, Kel, you don’t need—”
“Thanks, but I can’t impose on you and your, uh, roommate.”
“Roommate?” Why would she think he had a roommate? He’d never had one before. “You care to explain that?”
When the child began to squirm, she shifted him to her other hip. “I assume you have someone living with you, James, that’s all.”
“Someone? You mean a woman?”
“No, James, I meant a tractor,” she said, her lips turning up in a grin that wavered, then slipped away as her eyes settled on him. “Of course I mean a woman.”
He had no intention of telling her he had only gone out twice since she’d left. Both times he had known five minutes into the date that it wouldn’t work. Because neither of the women had possessed Kelly’s quick wit or her sassy mouth. And neither had made him feel the way she did. “No, Kel, there’s no one.”
“Oh.”
“So will you go home with me now?”
When she didn’t answer right away, he said, “Come on. I’m not the big bad wolf. I’ll behave.”
Despite struggling to keep her eyes open, she smiled. “You forget I know you.”
“Can’t blame a fella for trying.” He lifted the restless child from her arms. Funny how holding Will seemed almost natural. He chalked it up to holding Cal’s daughter, Jessie, on more than one occasion. But this was different. This was his son.
He’d missed out on so much. As bad as he hated to admit it, he’d missed her while she’d been away at vet school. He’d missed the way she’d always pestered him, how she’d dragged stray cats and dogs to the clinic during off time and how she’d restored order to his disorderly life. But that was before she’d run out on him. Before this unthinkable deception.
James could see Kelly was exhausted. Her clothes hung on her as if she’d recently lost weight. She’d always pushed herself until she dropped, forgetting to eat, functioning on very little sleep.
As he led her outside, he circled his arm about her waist to steady her. She was so thin he could have spanned her waist with his hands. Half-asleep, she paused beside him while he locked the clinic door.
James noticed the slump of her shoulders, as if she bore the weight of the world—but then, Kelly always had. The sun low on the horizon revealed dark shadows beneath eyes that had once sparkled with life. Lines of exhaustion bracketed lips that used to smile without effort.
Her keeping the child a secret angered him, but his immediate concern was her welfare, because, as usual, it looked as though she’d taken care of everyone except herself.
The struggling child in his arms proved there was a side to her he didn’t know—a side capable of harboring painful secrets. For the time being he’d have to be content to know that by this time tomorrow he would have answers.
“Kel, you’re not in any shape to drive. Get in and scoot over. I’ll drive your truck and come back tomorrow to get mine.”
She gave him a smile that slid into a yawn. “I see you’re still as hardheaded as ever, James Scott, but I’m too tired to argue. You can drive, but take it easy. I’ve got Matilda in the horse trailer.”
“You still hauling that broken-down nag around?”
“She’s family.” Kelly leaned against the pickup’s fender. He hurried to steady her and lowered the boy to the ground, careful to see the child had his balance before he lifted Kelly and settled her inside the truck. When Will began to fuss, James picked him up and walked to the passenger’s side where he strapped the toddler into his car seat. He found a cup with a top and a built-in straw in the seat and stuck it in his mouth.
James circled her truck and horse trailer. Both had been junkers five years ago when Kelly had first come to work for him and his partner, Cal, at the veterinary clinic. They still were.
After checking the trailer hitch, he opened the driver’s door and paused. The end of Kelly’s long braid hung over her shoulder. Wild tendrils of gold had escaped the uneven plait and danced in the warm May breeze carrying the smell of a nearby hay field through the open windows. His hands itched to smooth the strands back into place.
So many times he’d thought of her. He had set out more than once to find her, but each time had come back empty-handed. Now it was as if she’d never left. As if everything was the same.
Except for the child.
And the lie.
After moving a blue notebook from the seat to the floor, James eased her over to sit between him and the boy. Reaching across her, he hooked her seat belt. Awareness swirled around him, beckoning him with her sweetness. He set his jaw, determined to ignore the familiar scent imbedded in his mind. He needed to keep a clear head, something he’d never been able to do around her, until they hashed things out.
He put the truck in gear and eased out the clutch. As he pulled away from the clinic, his attention on the trailer behind him, Kelly slid closer to him, her head nuzzling his shoulder.
James glanced at her. “From the looks of you, it definitely would have been a mistake to let you drive.”
“We made one mistake,” she mumbled, more asleep than awake. “We can’t afford to make another.”
He wasn’t sure whether she meant their one night together or the child. Either way, he wanted to argue the point with her, but she was already out.
He didn’t understand how she could have kept news of her pregnancy from him. She had never been one to play games. The only person who had more rules than Kelly was his dad, and, like the sergeant major, she lived by every stinking one of them.
Considering that, he cursed under his breath and glanced around her to the boy. Though Kelly had passed out, he should have been the one to faint dead away, after learning he was the father of a two-year-old.
Will offered Kelly his cup. When she didn’t move, the toddler cocked his head to one side and said, “Mama night-night.”
Warmth spiraled through James. “Yeah, Will. Mama’s gone night-night.”
The kid nodded and caught the straw with his mouth, then settled back to watch James, wariness in his eyes, the same sort of uncertainty James now felt.
As he turned the pickup onto the county road leading to his land, he couldn’t help but wonder if Kelly hadn’t told him because she’d believed him irresponsible. A rush of anger accompanied that thought, and he tightened his hands on the steering wheel. Well, she’d made her last sole decision where Will was concerned.
From here on out, James would have a say in his son’s future.
The bark of a dog somewhere outside drew Kelly from a deep sleep. She stretched and yawned, then turned on her side. The scent of potent male emanated from the pillow.
Kelly blinked several times before her eyes focused on framed photographs of horses against antique-white walls. A portable TV sat at an odd angle on the nightstand surrounded by stacks of veterinary medicine books and magazines.
She bolted into a sitting position and looked around. He had taken her to his bed. Again. Though last time she’d willingly followed him. Somehow she didn’t remember the bed being so big…or lonely.
Even cloaked in darkness, with soft light slipping through the closed curtains, she recognized his bedroom. She’d memorized every detail during their one time together—the night his gentle touch and honeyed words had broken down her defenses. The night she had given in to the secret love she’d harbored for her best friend. The night she had turned her back on the principles that had been the only constant in her life for as long as she could remember.
Dogs barked again somewhere outside, and the sound of Will crying came through the closed door. Kelly’s arms and legs felt heavy, but she yanked back the covers and jumped to her feet, thankful she still had on her clothes from the day before. Set into action by a deeply ingrained maternal instinct, she hurried to the door, wondering how long she had slept and whether Will was okay.
Her son’s fussing grew louder as she dashed down the hall. She knew instinctively that the man she’d once idolized could handle a two-year-old. She’d watched James work on injured horses and knew he always exercised the utmost care and responsibility. But was James with Will? The need to see for herself that her son was unhurt spurred her forward. Heaven only knew what Will had gotten into while she’d slept. The possibilities made her stomach churn.
Pulse racing, Kelly skidded to a stop as she entered the kitchen. Relief surged through her. She caught the door frame and drew a ragged breath.
Across the room her son knelt on a heavy oak chair pulled up to the open fridge. James stood beside him, dressed in jeans and a chambray shirt with cuffs rolled up to the elbow. Her gaze locked on his muscled forearms, then dropped to his standard, scuffed boots. She couldn’t help but wonder if those were the same boots he hadn’t managed to get off before they’d made love that first time. They hadn’t gotten as far as his bed, either. At least not the first time.
Or the second.
She closed her eyes and tried to ground herself. She’d forgotten how his towering height, his mile-wide shoulders and his to-die-for smile had always affected her.
They still did.
But it was so much more than just the way he was put together and what he did for denim. Her feelings for him ran deep and extended beyond their one night of lovemaking. Her continued longing for him was fueled by the memory of his tenderness and the things he’d said. That she was beautiful. That he wanted her.
He had said things that almost made her forget she had spent most of her life feeling unwanted.
She opened her eyes as James pulled a cardboard box off a wire shelf and offered Will something shriveled and dried. “What about pizza?”
Kelly started to protest, but Will pushed the food away while fussing and jabbering unintelligibly. She recognized her son’s renewed cries were caused by anger and frustration, probably from not getting his way. The only person more stubborn than Will was James. Again her thoughts whirled back to the night they had created Will. After the second time they’d made love, James had tried to tell her they needed to stop, because he didn’t want to hurt her. Kelly smiled at the memory. She’d been shamelessly persistent. Afterward she had been glad she’d broken down his resistance. That one night was all she’d had with him. It was all she would ever have.
Muttering, James tossed the pizza box behind him onto the table, barely visible beneath a pile of discarded items—the same table where he’d made slow, mind-shattering love to her the first time. “You’ve already polished off the only soda I had. That leaves a six-pack of beer, and you can’t have that.”
Will slid to the floor and kicked. When he wanted something, he wanted it immediately.
“Yeah. No offense, partner, but you’re a might young for beer.”
Will sniffled and toddled over to James, catching the leg of his jeans at knee level.
Something in Kelly’s chest shifted. She had known seeing James again would be difficult. But nothing had prepared her for the sight of father and son together. Regret filled her soul. She gulped a shaky breath before squaring her shoulders.
Kelly reminded herself that James had always been and probably still was a free spirit, not at all the commitment type. She would do well to remember why she’d left. But this wasn’t about her.
Would James resent her for tying him down? Was he ready to raise a child, ready for that kind of commitment? These were the same questions she had asked herself when she’d made the decision not to tell him she was pregnant.
But there was no one else to raise Will should the need arise.
“All right, Will.” James closed the refrigerator door and sat on the floor beside his son. “I reckon it’s time to wake your mama.”
Will crawled into James’s lap, and the cowboy looked a little ill at ease as he held his son.
“I’m awake.”
Will rushed at her, his bare feet slapping against the wood floor. She released the door frame and scooped him up into her arms. He snuggled against her shoulder, quiet and content for the moment. “Hey, sweetie. Have you been good?”
With his head buried in the curve of her neck, Will nodded.
Kelly sensed James watching her and tried not to look at him but failed. The cowboy still had the knack of disarming her with nothing more than a glance—and that glance had her remembering the rumpled bed they had fallen into the third time they’d made love.
As if reading her mind, James’s heated gaze started at her feet and worked its way up, lingering here and there, making her pulse race and her temperature rise. His brown eyes darkened as they had that night—the night she had tried so hard to forget. But the memory of his unhurried touches and lingering kisses was forever seared in her mind.
Kelly stiffened. She didn’t want to recall the gentleness of his callused hands, the way she’d responded to his touch, or the way his mouth had ignited flames that had consumed her.
No. She absolutely refused to think of that night again, but how could she forget when James kept looking at her like that?
“I—I’m sorry I couldn’t stay awake,” she said. “Thanks for watching Will.”
James shrugged and pushed to his feet, his seductive eyes never leaving her. “After I shower, we’ll head into town for some breakfast. I’ve had all night to think about us and what happened—”
“There is no us, James. There never was,” she said, the lie bitter on her tongue. “It was just sex between consenting adults, that’s all. And only the one night.” Kelly was sickened by her deceit and tried to walk past him, but he blocked her path, his nearness making her heart pound. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get Matilda out of the trailer and feed her.”
He touched her arm, then let his fingers trail down to her wrist, sending shock waves through her body. “We put her in the barn last night with my horses and went out earlier to feed the old nag. The boy seemed to get a kick out of that.”
“Thanks,” she said, cursing the wobble in her voice.
James watched her, his eyes clouding over like a summer storm. “I want answers, Kel. I don’t think you can convince me that what you did was right, but I’m willing to listen…after I shower.” James caught the front tails of his shirt and yanked. The snaps popped open, and as if drawn by a homing device, her gaze became riveted to his tanned chest and the dusting of dark hair.
“I’ll hurry,” he said as he strode past her and down the hall, his faded jeans caressing his backside with every fluid shift of his slender hips.
Her thoughts shattered. Kelly pulled a chair away from the table with a shaking hand and lowered herself, careful not to wake Will who had fallen asleep in her arms. She had convinced herself she would be immune to James’s blatant sexuality. Grabbing an envelope off the table to use as a fan, Kelly admitted she might have been wrong. Even though there were subtle differences in him, she had done the right thing by leaving. James was still too gorgeous for his own good. He oozed more sex appeal than should be legal. Still, he was Will’s father.
She cringed, knowing she shouldn’t blame everything on James. He couldn’t help how he looked or the way females threw themselves at him. She had watched him trying to put them off without hurting their feelings; he really was a good man. And living with James would be a sight better than having Will grow up in foster care with nothing but rejection and loneliness as his companions—if something happened to her.
She knew all about loneliness. It had sent her into James’s arms even though she’d seen him shy away from commitment with other women. After he’d made love to her, she had refused to cling to him the way some had tried. Unwilling to watch him withdraw emotionally from her, she had decided that for once in her life she wouldn’t be the one left behind and hurting. So, she’d done the only thing she could do—she’d left.
Kelly shifted Will on her lap and breathed in James’s scent that lingered on her son. Their son.
Odd she should be here now, seeking the aid of the fun-loving man she’d tried so hard to forget, but he was Will’s father. And she had no one else to turn to. Over her lifetime she’d made a lot of rules that she observed diligently. Coming back, speaking to James, meant breaking rules sixteen and seventeen, but there had been no other way. She couldn’t bear the thought of Will ending up alone. She wanted him to know James’s love.
Even if she never would.
Chapter Two
“Why didn’t you tell me?” James asked, leaning back in the cafe’ booth, the toes of his boots bumping against the other side. “I think I deserved to know.”
The hurt and anger raging inside him was directed at himself as much as Kelly. Not long after she’d left, he had tried to find her. He’d known nothing about her family. Maybe if he’d bothered to ask more questions about her past he might have found her. Maybe if he’d hired a private investigator after his own attempts had failed he would have known about his son.
“I know I made some mistakes and in the process hurt you and Will,” Kelly said, sounding defeated. “I can only say I struggled with my decision. I’m sorry, James, I never intended—”
“Sorry? Sorry is for forgetting to ask if I want onions on my hamburger. Sorry is for leaving the gate open and letting the mare out. But sorry doesn’t cut it with something as life changing as forgetting to tell me I have a son.”
She flinched as she finished pouring syrup over the child’s pancakes before placing the saucer on the high-chair tray. “You have every right to be angry with me.”
“You’re damned right I do.”
“No matter what you think, I really did struggle with whether or not to tell you.”
“For two years, Kel?”
“I wasn’t sure you would want to know.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Please don’t raise your voice. It upsets Will.”
When several customers looked their way, he focused on his clenched hands and counted to five. He noticed the child’s mouth quivered as if he might cry, but a comforting word from Kelly calmed him.
She met James’s gaze, lifting her coffee mug, clutching it until her knuckles turned white. “Not long after I returned to school, I began feeling awful. I got up sick and went to bed sick. I had to drop three classes to pull a decent grade in the others.”
“If you’d told me—”
“Please let me finish. I’m being honest with you and would like the same from you. If you had known, would you have come for me? Would you have married me and settled down?” she asked, her eyes filled with a deep sadness that tore at his insides. “And if you had done those things, would it have been because you wanted to or because you had to? And afterward would you have blamed me for ruining your life?”
He dragged a hand through his hair, not at all pleased with the conclusions she’d drawn, then and now. Maybe the only conclusions she could’ve drawn, considering his history with women. “Since you didn’t bother to tell me you were pregnant with my child, you know I don’t know what I would have done. But for that matter, neither do you.”
Kelly met his gaze. “James, you are a wonderful friend. My best friend…at least you used to be. In spite of what you might believe, I thought about this a long time before making up my mind. I didn’t think you would offer marriage, so I focused on Will.”
“Tell me the truth, Kel. Did you even consider what I’d want?”
“Do you think you could have made a life-long commitment to Will? I don’t mean dropping in once every year or so when you were passing through to a rodeo or hauling a horse to breed—but making planned trips to see him, only him. Being a father means making time, even if you miss your first ride at the next rodeo.”
“Whether I could have done that isn’t the issue here. You had no right to make that decision for me,” he said, no longer caring if other customers overheard.
“I realized not long ago that I’d been wrong to not tell you,” she said. “I can’t undo what I did or give you back the lost time with Will, but I can give you his future. I’m here for the summer so you can get to know your son.”
He wasn’t sure he’d heard her right, couldn’t figure out why she’d changed her mind. Until this moment blaming her had somewhat eased the stinging blow to his pride, but now the impact of her words hit him like the kick of a mare. Rather than rejoice that she had finally admitted to being wrong and was now allowing him to be Will’s father, he wondered whether he really could be a father. A good father.
His relationship with his own father was dismal at best. His dad barked orders, pointed out every mistake and expected James to jump like his troops on the military base. He’d always claimed he did it to make James better, stronger.
In spite of their inability to agree on anything, James called his dad every couple of weeks. Their conversations always ended in an argument. His father would point out that a real man would want to defend his country. James resented the not-too-subtle reminder that his dad believed him an irresponsible failure.
He watched Kelly help Will get a drink of milk. The boy fussed when she wiped his mouth with a moist towelette, using hands that were gentle yet strong, like the woman.
He had missed her, the friendship they’d shared, the way she had always supported him, believed in him without question. And he didn’t understand what had caused everything to get so messed up between them. “Kel, how can you have been so sure what I would have done back then, when I don’t know the answer myself? And what’s different now, that made you change your mind about me?”
Kelly tossed the used towelette on the table. “James, please.”
She pulled the tray out from the high chair and lifted Will into her lap. “I struggled and struggled with this from the beginning, wanting to tell you, hoping that maybe if you knew…”
“What?”
She bit her bottom lip. “I wanted to do the right thing for all of us—you, me and our child. I must have picked up the phone a million times.”
James frowned. He might have had a wild streak back then, but he wanted to think he would have taken care of his child. Sure, he’d always had to prove himself by riding the meanest bronc and the rankest bull, driving the fastest car and tossing back the most beer, but last year a bad spill in Fort Worth had made him realize he was jeopardizing his veterinary career. Now he only competed if someone needed a partner in team roping on weekends. Regardless, she ought to know he wasn’t completely without values.
“You should have called,” he said. “I would have come after you—”
“I did call.”
“When?”
“After Will’s birth.” Kelly nestled her cheek against the child’s head and cradled him in her arms, rocking back and forth as the boy’s hand caught hold of her braid, which had fallen over her shoulder.
“I don’t understand. I never got your message.” James couldn’t force himself to look away from their son playing with her hair. Memories of taking it down, running his hands through the thick mass and then, later, enjoying the feel of it across his chest distracted him.
“I didn’t leave a message. When I called, some woman answered.”
“A woman?”
“For all I knew, you had settled down with a live-in girlfriend or maybe even married. I didn’t want to complicate things for you, so I hung up.”
He frowned, trying to figure out who had answered his phone. “I’ve never had a woman living with me. When did you call?”
“May fifth at seven o’clock in the morning, two years ago.”
Realization dawned. “That was my baby sister, Lindsey.”
Kelly stilled. “Lindsey?”
“Yeah. She and her husband, Joe, and their two kids came for a visit. Joe had graduated from officer-candidate school at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and been made into what we always called a ‘shake and bake’ officer. They stayed here a week, then made their way to Houston where they caught a flight to Germany for a four-year hitch in the Army.”
“I didn’t know. I assumed—”
“You were wrong.”
She cocked her head to the side. “I see that now, but it was a natural assumption.”
“How do you figure that?”
“James, you’re like the blue-light special at the grocery. You can’t blame me for believing that some woman shopping for a man had finally snapped you up.”
“Why shouldn’t I? You blamed me for something I didn’t do.” He didn’t like how she made him feel, as if he were responsible for the man-chasing rodeo groupies. A niggling doubt sprang into his mind, and while he couldn’t accept it, he found himself asking, “Is that why you stayed with me that night? To see if you could snap me up?”
Her eyes widened. “Do you really believe I’d do that just to see if I could succeed where others had failed?”
He shrugged, his shoulders stiff.
“If you have to ask, it means you don’t know me at all,” she said.
“That’s the problem, Kel. I’m only now finding out I didn’t know you at all.”
Kelly shot him an exasperated look. “How can you say that?”
“Why did you do it, then? Were you using me to make someone else jealous?”
She stared at him a long time, and when he didn’t think he could stand the pain in her eyes any longer, she whispered, “No.”
Relief surged through him. He leaned his elbows on the table, admitting to himself that why she’d gone to his bed didn’t really matter now. It was in the past. His personal history had taught him to let go of things he couldn’t change, but he couldn’t easily dismiss what she had done.
James took a drink of coffee and remembered something she’d said. “You mentioned the rodeo a while ago. I know you’ve never really cared much for that part of my life. Did that have anything to do—”
“No. I didn’t used to like you to compete because of the risks you took. You could have been injured or worse.”
He didn’t plan to tell her an injury is what had made him quit. “I don’t have time for much of anything except the clinic now.”
“James, I know you’re really mad at me, but I’d like you to do me a favor. I was talking about priorities and whether you’d be able to make a commitment to Will. I’d like you to think about that and then answer it. Not for me, but for yourself. Answer it truthfully. Regardless of what you think, I didn’t come back to take potshots at you. Nothing would make me happier than to discover I’d misjudged you.”
She was right. The admission was like a burr under his saddle. She had based her decisions on what was best for Will, and he needed to do the same, but it was damned hard whenever Kelly was close at hand. He reacted to her nearness even while clinging to his hurt pride.
Her mentioning his need to avoid commitment opened old wounds he hadn’t allowed himself to think about for years. Although hidden deep inside, they were still raw and hurting even after all this time.
James swallowed past the ache that threatened to choke him. “You were wrong about me, about everything. I can be a good father. In fact, I intend to prove it now.”
James walked from the barn, still stinging from his conversation with Kelly earlier that morning. He heard the rattle of her truck as it bounced over the ruts in his drive. By the time he had made it to the front of the house, she was lifting Will from his car seat. “Did you find an apartment for the summer?” he called.
“Nothing I’d consider,” Kelly said, pushing back several strands of hair that had worked loose from her braid and blown across her face. “Since I’m still paying rent to keep my apartment in College Station I can’t afford much. There are plenty of cheap places if I want to live with roaches or rats. I’m kind of strange about sharing my living space.”
He caught the diaper bag from the back of her truck and, ignoring Kelly’s protests, lifted Will from her arms. “Here, let me help. You look as if you’re about to fall down. You should have let me go with you.”
She turned to look at him. “As you pointed out earlier, you have work to do, and I’m not helpless.”
He noticed again the shadows beneath her eyes and wished he’d kept his mouth shut about the chores he had to do. Yeah, he had a schedule to keep, but his refusal to accompany her had come more from the blow to his pride. He still couldn’t believe she thought he would have turned his back on his son.
Knowing she hadn’t needed him was hard to accept. But she had always been self-sufficient to the point of needing no one, something that used to bother him. It still did.
“Of all people you should know I don’t think you’re helpless, but little Will here is a chunk,” he said. “I’m here now, so let me help.”
“Okay,” she said, turning away, but not before he saw the worry and something that resembled remorse in her eyes. He shouldn’t want to comfort her, but he did. And that aggravated him almost as much as the realization that he hadn’t known her the way he’d once thought he had. But then, she’d always been content to sit and listen to him. He doubted there was anything about him she didn’t know. Only now did he realize she’d seldom talked about herself. The things he did know about her, he’d learned from years of observation.
“If I’m supposed to bond with Will, it makes sense for you both to stay here with me,” he said. “After all, it’s only for the summer.”
That statement earned him a frown from her. He didn’t care whether she liked it or not. He had every intention of spending time with his son, no matter what she wanted.
Kelly climbed the steps to his porch, her feet dragging. “You know I can’t do that.”
“Why?” James followed her, trying not to notice the gentle sway of her jean-clad hips. He opened the screen door and held it while she stepped inside, then cursed himself for watching her cross the room.
About the time sweat began to pop out on his forehead, she turned back to face him. “You don’t need us underfoot all the time. You know I’d drive you crazy.”
She had a point. She was driving him crazy now—he was insane with a need for her, a need to kiss that mouth.
He watched her, noticing she avoided looking him in the eye. “Bull. I tolerated you just fine before.”
“That was at work. You’re not used to having extra people around your house. I think it’s best—”
“Best? For who? You?”
“For Will, of course. Everything I do is for him.”
“I hope you’re buying that lame excuse, Kel, because I’m sure not.”
He knew why she didn’t want to stay, and it had nothing at all to do with inconveniencing him. She obviously didn’t think he’d be a good example for the boy. A sudden feeling of inadequacy filled him, replaced in an instant with anger that had been smoldering, barely under control, since that morning. “You’re using all these convenient excuses same as when you made your decision not to tell me about Will.”
His tone made Will pucker up to cry.
“Aw, hell,” James muttered.
Kelly shot James a dirty look as she took Will and lifted him to her shoulder. She calmed the child with quiet words and loving pats on his back that distracted James.
When the boy had stopped crying, Kelly squared off across from James. “What did you mean excuses?”
“Come off it, Kel. You know exactly what I meant. You think I’ll have him chewing tobacco and chasing women by the time he’s three.” James kept his voice low, but didn’t know how he’d managed it, because his insides churned.
Her eyes blazed as she stared at him. “I think I’d better leave. This isn’t getting us anywhere. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to keep Matilda here until I can find a place to board her. I’ve got some feed in the trailer, but will pay you—”
James tore his fingers through his hair. “Don’t do this, Kel.”
“I think we’ve proven we can’t be in the same room without sparks flying. We both need to cool down. I’ve already done several things I swore not to do. I won’t make an already difficult situation worse.” She caught the strap of the diaper bag and lifted it over her shoulder.
“Where are you going?” James asked, knowing he shouldn’t care. But he did.
“To get a room at a motel.” She headed out the door toward her truck.
He wanted to stop her, pull her into his arms and hold her. It made no sense at all, but nothing ever had, not where Kelly was concerned. Swearing under his breath, he followed her. “Will you call and let me know where I can reach you?”
“I want to visit Cal and meet his new wife, so I’ll drop by the clinic sometime tomorrow.” She hooked Will in his car seat and hurried around the rusted-out truck.
Unable to watch her go, James strode after her and caught the door just before she closed it. “Kel, wait. Can’t we talk?”
She swallowed hard and looked out the windshield. “I don’t know if that would help.”
“I’m here now, willing to listen. What do you say we give it a try?”
“I’m too tired to talk today,” she said.
“At least let me know what motel you’re at.” He finally let her slam the door.
With a lingering glance in his direction, Kelly started the pickup and backed down his driveway.
James stood there long after she’d disappeared around the curve in the road. He thought about all the things she’d said today and found he didn’t much like what he’d heard or the way he saw himself through her eyes.
It had been a long time since James had felt this out of sorts. He shouldn’t care about Kelly’s plans for his son’s future or that they didn’t seem to include him; he hadn’t even known about the boy until twenty-one hours ago. The fact that he worried about her at all irritated him almost as much as his inexplicable need to be with his son…and Kelly.
He headed toward his truck, cursing the vision of her that suddenly filled his head. Maybe several beers would help him forget how good she looked and her enticing scent. He doubted it would.
He needed to forget that while struggling to bring his child into this world, Kelly had found suffering alone preferable to leaning on him.
Kelly locked the motel door and slid the chain in place. She didn’t like the room or the location of the motel, but after stopping at five others that were full because of the rodeo in town that weekend, she would have to make do. Her only other option was to stay with James. She didn’t know if she could do that without slipping up and letting him see how much she still cared.
“Here, sweetheart, let me get your horse.” She pulled the stuffed horse from the diaper bag and gave it to Will, who settled on the floor with his favorite toy.
The room echoed with loneliness after the time she’d spent with James. Funny, she’d lived alone until Will’s birth, then it had been just the two of them. After only one day with James, she realized how much she’d missed adult conversation—almost as much as she’d missed him. Sure, she’d been around other students, but they were always listening to lectures. After class, she’d rushed to her job. And then there’d been Will.
Kelly’s thoughts drifted back to James. She had wanted to stay with him, but no telling what she would have done if she had. That’s why she’d created rule fifteen, to prevent that from happening. Though, actually, he had surprised her. He hadn’t done any of the things she’d expected when he’d learned he had a son. With only minimal ranting and raving, he’d taken her home with him, and even after she’d made a mess of explaining things by blurting out her feelings, he’d offered them a room.
She wasn’t sure the cowboy she’d once known would have sat still while she questioned his character. And if he had, he certainly wouldn’t have asked her to stay.
And now, thinking back on all she’d said, Kelly couldn’t remember when she’d wanted anything more than to be with James. Her reasons for leaving had everything to do with the way James had made her feel, just as it had before she’d left town three years ago.
Seeing him again had been a shock. The hurt she’d glimpsed when he’d thought she was married had almost been her undoing. But she’d prepared herself, knowing being around him again after all this time would be difficult. She’d formulated several new rules especially for the occasion. Still, it had taken all her strength to keep from walking into his arms, the only place she wanted to be.
Maybe she should call him. After all, he had asked how he could locate her. What could it hurt? She could smooth things over, make sure he hadn’t taken offense to her refusal to stay with him. If he got angry, he might change his mind about getting to know Will, and that’s why she’d put them both through the hell of telling him he had a son.
Kelly sat on the edge of the bed and punched in James’s home phone number. She knew it by heart, having dialed it hundreds of times in the past. Kelly clutched the phone so tightly her hand ached. After the sixth ring she replaced the receiver on the cradle as she had so many times before.
She stood and paced the room, so tired she wanted nothing more than to go to bed. What if he had gotten upset? What if he’d had an accident? What if he had gone out with another woman? Kelly patted Will’s head as she hurried back to the phone, her pulse racing as she dialed James’s cell phone number.
He answered on the fourth ring. “It’s your nickel.”
The twang of country music drifted through the phone line, all but drowning out his voice.
She started to hang up, thinking that he might actually be with someone else. One glance at Will made her change her mind. “James?”
“Kelly?”
She imagined him seated in some honky-tonk with a voluptuous blonde on each knee. “I—I wanted to let you know where I’m staying, in case you need me.”
“Just a sec.” The crackle of paper sounded. “Okay, shoot.”
“I’m at the Country Inn.”
“What room?”
Kelly paused, trying to decide whether to tell him. What could it hurt? If an emergency arose, he would need to know how to contact her. Besides, she’d missed him and their friendship and hoped they could regain the easy camaraderie they’d always shared, though secretly she would always want more. If his friendship was all she could have, then that was better than nothing. Nothing is what she’d had the past three years. She’d missed him more than she’d believed possible. There were worse things than being just his friend.
“Kelly, are you still there?”
“Yeah. It’s room twenty-two.”
“Have you had supper?” he asked, his voice a seductive rumble that sent a shiver of awareness through her.
“No, I thought once we got settled maybe we’d get something.”
“Would you let me take you and Will out to eat?”
Her pulse sped up. She wanted to say yes, but feared it would be a repeat of their earlier conversation. “I’m really tired, and tomorrow will be another full day of looking for a place to live.”
“What if I grab some burgers and swing by?”
Kelly knew she should refuse, but she really was more exhausted than she’d thought. “I’d like that, James. But could you bring a grilled cheese sandwich for Will?”
He didn’t respond for a moment, and if it hadn’t been for the music blaring over the phone line, she would have thought they’d lost their connection. Finally he said, “Great. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
“All right,” she said, the words coming out thick, sounding like someone else. The connection went dead then, and Kelly listened to the buzz for a minute before returning the phone to its cradle.
Inviting James to her room had been foolhardy. She knew better. The knowledge that he would be there shortly sent an adrenaline rush through her. But she had a responsibility to her son. She’d made a promise to him and to herself, a promise she intended to keep. She wasn’t about to let an excess of hormones and one sexy cowboy get in the way of her child’s future.
When James arrived, she would take the food, thank him for his trouble and ignore him while he visited with Will. She had fallen for James’s good looks once. No, that wasn’t necessarily true. It had been so much more than just his looks, and she reminded herself of why she’d come back.
Kelly had only invited James over because she was too tired to go and get Will’s dinner. Anyone could make a mistake…once. From now on, she would stay focused on her goal. She would not fail. Her son’s future depended on it.
As of this minute James Scott could walk naked into the room and she would not notice. It was a simple matter of discipline and concentration.
Of course, she’d never been able to hold a thought around him.
With or without his clothes.
Chapter Three
James parked in front of room twenty-two of the Country Inn and shut off his truck. He opened his door, grabbed the sack of food and tray of drinks and slid from the pickup, kicking the door shut.
Two disreputable-looking thugs sat on the hood of a car a few rooms down. Another three straddled motorcycles. They watched James, their body language challenging and belligerent, something he knew about firsthand. Without turning his back on them, he knocked on the door. After the way things had gone earlier with Kelly, he would welcome a good fight, but first he needed to make sure she and Will were safe.
When the lock turned and the door swung open, he stepped inside without waiting for an invitation. “Pack your bags.”
Kelly’s mouth fell open, and she sputtered.
“Do you have any idea of the lowlifes that roam this area?” he asked. “There are five waiting outside right now, probably planning what they’ll do to you when I leave. You can forget staying here.”
He knew she’d gone from shock to anger when her mouth pursed and her eyes turned cold as the pond in his south pasture in January. And he didn’t think her spine could get any more rigid.
“In case you didn’t notice, James, there is a lock on the door and a safety chain.”
“Yes, and those guys out there can probably pick it faster than you can open it from the inside. In fact, they’d probably kick it in to save time. And that stupid chain is more for your peace of mind than protection. One good shove from the other side, and it’ll pop.”
A tug on one leg of his jeans made him look down. Will stood reaching for him. He bent to gather his son in his arms. It felt so strange, this intense need to protect.
Picking up Will had been as natural as drawing a breath. The boy leaned his head on James’s shoulder, then seemed content to play with the snaps on his shirt.
Trying to sort through the things Will made him feel, James glanced around the shabby room, then turned to Kelly. “Get your stuff together. We’re leaving.”
She paced the length of the room, then turned back to him. “With the rodeo in town, there aren’t any other rooms.”
“Then you’re staying with me.”
At the uncertainty in Kelly’s eyes, he stepped toward her. “I promise not to crawl into your bed when you go to sleep if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She lifted her chin a fraction. “No, that’s not what I thought.”
“Good, because if you insist on staying here, then I’m staying, too. And frankly I’m not sure that bed is big enough for the three of us—but I’m willing to give it a try.”
“I guess under the circumstances it wouldn’t hurt to stay with you, just for one night,” she said, unable to hide the worry in her voice. “Hopefully, I’ll find a place of my own tomorrow.”
It annoyed him that she seemed determined to put as much space as possible between them. “Like you said, Kel, this is about what’s best for the boy.”
She finally nodded as she covered a yawn. “I’ll get our things.”
When she’d packed their bags, James carried them out to his truck, then made sure she and Will were securely locked in her pickup without incident before he climbed into his. The five men were still seated outside the motel but were busy talking with a couple of women who had arrived.
When Kelly parked at the motel office to turn in the key, James pulled up beside her and told her to stay put. Ignoring her frown, he took the key and tossed it to the night clerk.
Once inside his truck, James signaled for Kelly to go on ahead. He didn’t like the idea of her being out alone at night and intended to keep her in sight until they reached his place.
James was pleased Kelly hadn’t put up much of an argument over staying with him. She sure hadn’t much liked the thought of him sharing her motel bed. He probably shouldn’t have said that. Not that it mattered. She already had a low opinion of him. In fact, it probably couldn’t get much worse. For some reason that bothered him.
But he wouldn’t dwell on that. He chose to recall the warmth that had spread through him earlier when his son had lifted his arms, wanting James to hold him.
His son.
Kelly rolled the blanket James had tossed her and tucked it into the crack between the bed and the wall. “I hate to take your bed again, James. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”
“No. I stayed awake most of last night, trying to keep Will from rolling off that couch. It’s best to put him in here with you. I’ll sleep out there until I can get the spare bedroom cleaned out.”
Despite his words, Kelly knew James’s legs would hang over the edge of the couch. He wouldn’t get any rest. Still, she knew it was better for her and Will to be in the bed. Used to a baby bed, her son twisted, turned, and flopped in all directions while he slept. Even with her on the outside as a barrier, she’d be lucky to keep Will from falling out during the night.
James lifted Will from the temporary pallet they’d made for him on the floor. Leaning across the bed on one knee, he settled the child on the far side.
Kelly rolled another blanket and put it down the center of the bed to keep Will from traveling too far.
“Well, I’ll see you in the morning,” James said as he headed toward the door. He paused and turned back to her. “I didn’t mean to bully you, but I couldn’t leave you at that motel.”
She knew he had done the right thing. “I hadn’t realized that area of town had run down so much since I’d left. I wouldn’t have checked in if I’d known.”
James didn’t move to leave. He hooked a thumb in a belt loop and watched her watching him.
His day-old growth of whiskers lent him a sexy look. He wore it well. “James,” Kelly said, her voice husky, “you never asked me about Will, you know, whether or not he was yours.”
A sadness she didn’t understand filled his eyes. “You want me to ask for proof that he’s mine?”
Actually, she wished he would shout, demand proof. Maybe that way she wouldn’t feel so bad about not telling him. “I thought you would.”
“I was your first, Kel. I don’t deny that.” His gaze moved over her, burning her with its intensity. “Of course, we only spent that one night together. And I was careful. I used protection every time.”
“That’s what I thought, but as you can see—” she inclined her head toward their child “—something went wrong. I don’t remember you stopping to read the directions. Maybe you put them on wrong.”
James laughed. “Me? Come on, Kelly, I’m not some snot-nose kid. I’ve used my share of condoms. I know what to do without reading the back of the box.”
“And I’ve only been with one man. Ever.” Now why the devil had she told him that?
Her admission brought a lazy smile to his lips, making Kelly wish she could take back the words.
“Why did you run out on me, Kel?”
She could hear the hurt in his voice, but knew well enough from her youth that people often forgot promises when it was convenient. She knew the pain of waiting for someone who never returned. At some point she’d quit believing anyone ever would.
After their one night together, she couldn’t stand by not knowing whether he, too, would withdraw from her emotionally. Past experience had forced her to leave, so she wouldn’t have to face him pulling away. But she couldn’t tell him that now. He wouldn’t understand; she wasn’t sure she did, either. Not anymore. Not after missing him so much.
She shrugged. “I had to get back to school.”
James shifted his weight to the other hip, drawing her attention to the soft jeans molded to his powerful thighs and the shirt stretched tight across his broad shoulders.
His amber eyes beckoned, darkening until she could no longer distinguish his pupils from the irises. Time had deepened the creases that fanned outward from his eyes and set off an avalanche of memories of the last time they’d shared this room, that night after he’d won the rodeo.
They hadn’t talked. They had communicated with tender caresses that made her burn, heated kisses that left her breathless and an insatiable need for each other that had kept them from sleeping until dawn.
Then she’d awakened. Alone. Even after learning he’d had an early clinic appointment, she couldn’t shake her growing fear of abandonment.
She suddenly was almost too weary to stand. “If there’s nothing else you want to know, I’d better get some sleep.”
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Belinda Barnes
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: HE WAS ONLY TWO, BUT HE KNEW A GOOD DEAL WHEN HE SAW IT!Will had never known a daddy before, but James Scott would be perfect for one. He knew how to ride bulls, how to ranch and how to scare away the monsters in the night. Toddler Will wondered why his mommy had brought him to this new home, but she and James kept talking about some perfect night long ago–a night that had changed their friendship forever.Will wasn′t too sure about what was going on, but even the littlest of wranglers knew that sometimes grown-ups needed a little help in realizing what was meant to be!