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Off Limits Marine
Kate Hoffmann
Forbidden desire…Marine Captain Gabe Pennington knows how to keep a secret—a little too well. He's been in love with his best buddy's wife since they met. And he can’t forget the stolen, passionate kiss they once shared. But now Annie Jennings has been a widow for two years, and Gabe wants her more than ever.Except that Annie still isn't ready to say goodbye to her deceased husband. Instead, Gabe can only hope that the searing chemistry between them is enough to convince Annie to move on—and forget her promise to never again date military guys. Especially because Gabe still has one secret eating away at him. And it's a secret that could set Annie free… or destroy her faith in love forever.


Forbidden desire...
Marine captain Gabe Pennington knows how to keep a secret—a little too well. He’s been in love with his best buddy’s wife since they met. And he can’t forget the stolen, passionate kiss they once shared. But now Annie Jennings has been a widow for two years, and Gabe wants her more than ever.
Except that Annie still isn’t ready to say goodbye to her deceased husband. Instead, Gabe can only hope that the searing chemistry between them is enough to convince Annie to move on—and forget her promise to never again date military guys. Especially because Gabe still has one secret eating away at him. And it’s a secret that could set Annie free...or destroy her faith in love forever.
“You’re the most amazing woman I know...”
Cupping Annie’s cheek in his hand, Gabe bent close and kissed her.
It was something he’d been thinking about since the moment they first met. How many nights had he imagined what it might be like to hold her in his arms, to be the one that she waited for day after day, to know that she loved him?
Her lips were soft and warm, and Gabe gently probed the crease of her mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss. She moaned, then suddenly pressed her hands to his chest, pushing him away.
She stared up at him, and a heartbeat later her palm met his cheek, stunning him back to reality.
“You need to leave. Right now. Just go, please.”
“Annie, I—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said, placing her hands over her ears and shaking her head. Her eyes flooded with tears. “Get out.”
As he walked out of the shed, Gabe cursed himself. What the hell had he been thinking?
He’d just betrayed his best friend.
Dear Reader (#ua3b2ed2f-f24f-5efd-aa75-aaaef5b80948),
It’s true that time does pass quickly when you’re having fun. In August 1993, my first book was published by Harlequin, a story called Indecent Exposure written for the Temptation line.
Since then, I’ve written ninety more books, mostly for Blaze. Twenty-three years have come and gone!
I’ve lived in three different places, gained and lost countless pounds, said goodbye to sweet feline friends, blown up numerous computers and laptops and visited many story settings, both in person and via the internet. I don’t know what’s next for me, but I know it will be fun to find out. I hope you come along for the ride!
Happy reading,


Off Limits Marine
Kate Hoffmann


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
KATE HOFFMANN’s first book was published by Harlequin in 1993, and in the twentysome years since, she has written ninety stories for the publisher. When she isn’t writing, she enjoys genealogy, golfing and directing student theater productions. She lives in southeastern Wisconsin with her two cats, Winnie and Gracie.
To Birgit, Malle, Susan, Marsha, Brenda, Adrienne and Johanna—for all you’ve done to make me a better writer.
Contents
Cover (#u2818f117-e2fa-565a-8de8-8589d2a016aa)
Back Cover Text (#u38fce0dd-dcc9-529d-9119-6b23a2793e67)
Introduction (#uddf89bd8-e0c5-5dc5-8898-3f461c982d47)
Dear Reader (#uc902152a-cc48-5945-a84d-f2ea4ec0e87b)
Title Page (#uea8b5e05-c4bf-508a-af3d-9d2b33172c7e)
About the Author (#u5aa66a42-98f6-5f0e-b7cf-46d0dcc2ac4a)
Dedication (#u83daf989-23b6-5e84-be9d-91f2a8309cc5)
Prologue (#u78a44243-5e8c-502e-83f7-38e536faf2ea)
Chapter 1 (#u5059a312-2df0-5ee7-ae1e-5321b0ffd215)
Chapter 2 (#u804048ca-80ce-560f-b8ee-bf2259c455d6)
Chapter 3 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 4 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 5 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 6 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 7 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 8 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 9 (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Prologue (#ua3b2ed2f-f24f-5efd-aa75-aaaef5b80948)
HE OUGHT TO be used to funerals by now. He’d been to enough of them over the years that he expected his grief to be numbed, reduced to a dull ache.
Marine Captain Gabriel T. Pennington drew a deep breath of the warm evening air. In the distance, he heard the sound of a fighter jet, taking off from Miramar, and he looked up at the sky, searching for the vapor trail in the late-afternoon light.
This was a different kind of grief, though. Deep and powerful, like a wound that wouldn’t heal. He’d lost his best friend, a guy he’d known for a decade. And unlike the other funerals he’d attended, this one wasn’t followed quickly by a return to active duty and the strange rhythms of a war zone to occupy his thoughts.
He cast his gaze across the wide lawn, his eyes fixed on an old shed set on the rear of the property. It had been two weeks since they’d laid Marine Captain Erik Jennings to rest and Gabe was still looking for something to ease the ache inside him. Perhaps this was it.
The shed door rattled as he drew it aside along a rusty runner. The light switch was beside the door and Gabe flipped it on, then squinted against the harsh glare from a bare bulb.
The familiar lines of the sleek wooden sloop were visible, even when hidden by the dusty tarp. He pulled the canvas cover aside, revealing a sailboat sorely in need of some tender loving care. Running his hand along the faded bright work, Gabe smiled to himself, remembering the late nights they’d spent working on the boat.
Erik had bought the old sloop with money he and Annie had received for their wedding five years before. He’d named it the Honeymoon and convinced Annie that one day he’d leave the military behind and sail her around the world. To most people, it might have looked like a lark, but to Erik and Annie, the boat had been an insurance policy, a promise that they’d have a happy future together, even if the military kept them apart.
Gabe and Erik had been friends since their plebe year at the naval academy. Ten years of friendship that had taken them to the far side of the world and back, Gabe as a Marine helicopter pilot based out of Camp Pendleton, and Erik as a Marine F-18 pilot out of Miramar, call signs Angel and Breaker.
They’d come from opposite coasts of the country, Erik from San Diego, the son of a surgeon and a socialite, and Gabe from Portland, Maine. His father was a lobsterman and his mother taught school. They’d arrived at Annapolis with two goals in mind—graduating first in their class and nabbing a spot in Marine Aviation School immediately after that. Their choice of the Marine Corps had put them in the minority among the sailors at the naval academy, but it had bonded them as brothers.
Gabe had been Erik’s best man at his wedding to Annie Foster, and now a pallbearer at his funeral. Was that full circle? he wondered. Somehow, it seemed as if Erik would never have a chance to finish his circle.
Death had become an accepted part of military life, at least at this point in time. And yet the loss of a friend, a subordinate or even a soldier he’d never met had become harder and harder to rationalize.
Erik had been doing what he loved. He was a patriot. He gave the ultimate sacrifice. All of the words rang hollow when Gabe realized that he’d never see his best friend again. They’d never share a few laughs over a beer. They’d never joke their way around a golf course or work late into the night on a moldy old sailboat.
“What are you doing out here?”
Gabe opened his eyes to find Annie standing in front of him. Her eyes were red and she clutched a wadded handkerchief in her hand. Even in her state of grief, she was more beautiful than he remembered. His fingers clenched with an instinctive urge to reach out and touch her, to smooth his hand across her cheek.
Gabe smiled and shrugged. “I just wanted to take a last look.”
“Last look?” she murmured, then took a ragged breath. “You got your orders?”
He nodded. “This morning. I’m headed back to Afghanistan.” Gabe forced a smile. He had always been happy to get his orders, to have a purpose to his life. But not this time.
Annie nodded. “It’s time you get back to your own life. It’s been two weeks. Although I’ve appreciated all your help with sorting and packing, I can get along fine on my own.”
“I know you can,” Gabe said.
“I’m glad you do, because I’m not so sure. I keep trying to catch my breath, but it just...hurts.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I’m trying to be strong, but I can’t do it. I’m just so...angry.”
“You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel,” Gabe said.
“It was a training exercise,” Annie said. “Would I feel differently if he’d been shot down over Afghanistan? At least I’d have an enemy to blame. Who do I blame now?”
“It was an accident,” Gabe said. “There’s no one to blame.”
“They think it was pilot error,” Annie countered.
Gabe gasped, frowning as he met her gaze. “Is that what they told you? I hadn’t heard.”
“They’ve just started the investigation, but they warned me that the report might come back as pilot error. They wanted me to be prepared.”
“No way,” Gabe said, shaking his head. “Erik was a great pilot. He didn’t make mistakes. He was a fanatic about safety, and there isn’t another pilot in the US Marine Corps who could pull himself out of an emergency situation better than Erik.”
Annie dabbed at her nose with the handkerchief and nodded, his words seeming to bring her some sort of comfort. She slowly circled the boat, running her fingertips along the blue fiberglass hull. “Look at this raggedy thing,” she said. “I must have been crazy to say yes when he told me he wanted to buy it.” Annie looked over at him. “You wouldn’t want to buy a sailboat, would you?”
Gabe shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“I suppose I’m going to have to sell it.”
“You’ve got some time to decide,” he said.
Annie shook her head. “I have decided. I’m going back home,” she said. “My parents asked if I wanted to take over the sailing school, and I said yes. There are just so many memories here, I’m not sure I could bear it.”
Silence descended over the interior of the shed as she continued to circle the sailboat. As Gabe watched her, his mind wandered back to the very first time he laid eyes on her. He and Erik had a weekend pass and had wandered along the waterfront in Annapolis, only to find themselves in the middle of the victory celebrations for a sailboat race. Annie had captained the winning boat, and as was the custom, her crew had thrown her into the water.
“You looked like a drowned rat,” Gabe murmured.
She glanced over her shoulder, and his heart stopped. The way the light framed her face, the soft wave of pale hair that fell across her cheek. Her beauty took his breath away.
“What?” she asked.
“What?”
She smiled winsomely. “You said something.”
“I was just remembering the day you and Erik met. When he pulled you out of the harbor. You looked like a drowned rat.”
Gabe had been first to step to the edge of the dock, offering his hand. But Erik had playfully shoved him aside and come to her rescue. It had been the genesis of their call signs, Breaker and Angel. Erik had been the bad boy, the heartbreaker, while Gabe had been his alter ego, the good guy who always did the right thing.
He’d always wondered what might have been if he’d done the wrong thing that day, shoving Erik aside and declaring his intentions to his best friend.
“Oh, yes. My hero. I was lucky he was there. You would have probably let me drown.”
“I’ve always thought you were the kind of woman who could save herself,” he said.
She opened her mouth to speak, then shook her head. “I hope I am,” she said after a long silence. “I feel like I’m going under and I can’t get back to the surface.”
“Give yourself some time,” Gabe said.
“This is nice,” she murmured. “Talking to you. It’s always been so...weird between us. I always got the feeling that you didn’t approve of me.”
“That’s not true,” Gabe said.
“I know it must have been difficult. You guys were best friends, and then I came along like a third wheel.”
He couldn’t tell her the truth. From the moment he’d first seen her, standing on the dock, soaked to the skin, he’d been smitten. She’d been everything he’d ever wanted, smart and funny and beautiful in a pure and natural way. Of course, Erik had moved first and used his extraordinary charms to lock her down. Within an hour of their first conversation, Gabe knew that there would be no reversal of her affections. Her heart belonged to Erik.
Gabe had never been jealous. Hell, he’d been happy that Erik had found a woman to love. At least that was how he’d felt until he realized that his best friend wasn’t the best husband in the world.
Erik had always been a flirt. He seemed to thrive on the attentions of beautiful women. But when a guy got married, all the extracurricular activities was supposed to stop. At least that was what Gabe had always believed. But Erik had kept right on, with a girlfriend in every port. They’d argued over it twice and for a while Gabe had thought it might be the end of their friendship.
Five years later, Gabe wasn’t sure if he’d ever given up the girls. Erik stopped confiding in him. And when they went out, he was friendly to the ladies but left alone at the end of the night. They simply never spoke of it.
“I should get back to the house,” she murmured. “Erik’s parents are coming for dinner and—You wouldn’t want to stay, would you? They love having you around.” She glanced over at him. “I like having you around. Right now, I’m having a hard time dealing with them.”
“Why is that?”
“They asked me the other night if there was any chance that I might be pregnant. I can hear the disappointment in their voices. It was my duty to provide a grandchild, and I didn’t get it done.” Annie shook her head. “I...I’m sure they’ll want to say goodbye before you leave.”
Annie stared into his eyes, and he could see the tears begin to fall down her pale cheeks. Gabe didn’t know what to do. They’d been talking about dinner, and suddenly tears. What could he say?
At a loss, he reached out and gently pulled her into his arms, holding her close as she wept against his chest. This round of tears seemed to be much worse than the previous few. Her tears soaked the front of his T-shirt, her fingers clutching at the faded cotton.
“It’s going to be all right,” he said softly.
“You’d think I’d be out of tears by now,” she whispered. “I think I’m finally done crying, and then I realize I’m all alone. He’s not coming back.”
“You’re not alone,” he said. “If you need anything, you can always call me.” He smoothed his fingers over her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “You’ll be all right. You’re strong and you’re smart. You’re the most amazing woman I know.”
Annie frowned, and Gabe cursed inwardly. He’d gone too far. He’d revealed too much. He wanted to turn and walk away before he made any further mistakes. But instead, he let his heart overrule his brain. Cupping her cheek in his hand, he bent close and kissed her.
It seemed like the only thing left to do, something he’d been thinking about since the moment they first met. How many nights had he imagined what it might be like to hold her in his arms, to be the one that she waited for day after day, to know that she loved him? And how many times had he flown a mission wondering if his last chance might be taken away by an enemy RPG or a laser-guided missile?
Her lips were soft and warm, and Gabe gently probed the crease of her mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss. She moaned, then suddenly pressed her hands to his chest, pushing him away.
Sometimes, a guy didn’t get a second chance. Gabe knew that better than anyone. Hell, Annie knew it, too. You had to seize the moment. No regrets. And yet, by the look on her face, all that Gabe could feel was regret.
She stared up at him and a heartbeat later her palm met his cheek, stunning him back to reality. Gabe opened his mouth to speak, but she held out her hand to stop him.
“You need to leave. Right now. Just go, please.”
“Annie, I—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said, placing her hands over her ears and shaking her head. Her eyes flooded with tears. “Get out.”
As he walked out of the shed, Gabe cursed himself. What the hell had he been thinking? He’d spent his whole professional career as a pilot making decisions based on a cold, rational assessment of a situation. It had kept him alive in a dangerous world. And now, the first time he’d ever listened to his heart, he’d managed to screw the pooch.
He’d never see her again. She’d remember this moment forever and always hate him for it. He’d betrayed his best friend, and now he’d be left to suffer for it.
1 (#ua3b2ed2f-f24f-5efd-aa75-aaaef5b80948)
ANNIE JENNINGS ADJUSTED the delicate lace wedding veil, watching the reflection in the mirror. “Perfect,” she murmured.
“Where did you find it?” Lisa asked.
“Packed away in my closet at home. It was my great-grandmother’s. My grandmother wore it and so did my mother.” Annie sighed. “I was stubborn and thought it looked too old-fashioned, so I chose my own veil. But I knew you’d love it. You’ve always appreciated vintage things more than I have.”
A warm breeze fluttered at the lace curtains of the old farmhouse. Outside, in the pretty orchard, the guests were assembling, ready to witness the wedding of Captain Jacob “Nellie” Maranello and Annie’s best friend, Lisa Romanoski. The rural setting in coastal North Carolina was perfect for a sunny Saturday in early June.
“Are you sure you want me to wear it?” Lisa asked. “Maybe you’ll want to wear it someday.”
Annie shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I’ve had my one great love. Who says I’ll find another?”
She carefully spread the veil behind her friend. Lisa was the only military “wife” she’d kept in touch with after Erik’s death. Erik had served in Jacob’s squadron, and they’d been stationed together since flight school at Pensacola. Jacob had also been in Erik’s class at the academy, though he’d spent two years in Afghanistan before being accepted to the academy.
Annie grabbed a small bag from the bed and withdrew a faded velvet box and held it out to her. “Here. This is something borrowed.”
“The veil is borrowed,” Lisa said.
Annie shook her head. “That’s something old. Your dress is new. This is borrowed and...” She pulled a garter out of the bag. “This garter is blue.”
“I am not going to wear a garter. I may appreciate vintage things, but I’m definitely not a traditional bride. And we are certainly not going to do that horrible garter thing.”
“You certainly aren’t traditional. You and Nellie have three kids. You make your own yogurt. Your children are named Sky, River and Breeze. You’re serving tofu at your reception, and I don’t think you own a pair of shoes that aren’t Birkenstocks. But you can bow to this one tradition. For your matron of honor?”
Rolling her eyes, Lisa yanked up her skirt and pulled the garter over her bare foot. Then she took the velvet box from Annie’s outstretched hand. She opened it to find a pair of diamond chandelier earrings in a platinum Art Deco setting.
“I remember these,” Lisa said. “I helped you put them on at your wedding.”
“My grandmother gave these to me along with the veil. They’ll go perfectly with your dress and your hair.”
Lisa gave her a hug. “I love them. Thank you.” She bent closer to the mirror and put them on, then turned to show Annie. “What do you think?”
“The most beautiful bride in the world,” Annie said, her eyes filling with tears. She couldn’t help but remember her own wedding day. All her dreams and hopes tied up in a white dress and veil. “Sorry,” she murmured, turning away from Lisa to busy herself with her own jewelry.
Lisa sat on the edge of the bed, a frown of concern etched across her brow, then patted the spot beside her. Annie reluctantly joined her.
“I’m crying because I’m happy for you,” Annie said.
“It’s been over a year,” Lisa said.
“One year, five months and about sixteen days. I know how long it’s been. Believe me, I’ve felt every one of those days.”
“I want you to have fun today. Dance and laugh and drink too much. Find yourself a handsome man and flirt a little bit. Maybe even kiss him.”
“I want to do that. But I just feel like I’m betraying him. Like it’s too soon.”
Lisa gave her hand a squeeze. “You can’t go on like this,” she said. “He would have wanted you to be happy.”
“I know. And I’ve been thinking about what’s been holding me back. It felt like there was something unfinished between us. And I finally realized what it was. The Honeymoon.”
“I thought you never had a honeymoon.”
“We didn’t. We got married and he left for basic two days later. But I was talking about the boat. The sailboat he bought with our wedding money. We were going to sail around the world with it.”
“That wreck you keep in your boathouse?” Lisa asked.
“It’s not a wreck anymore. After I had it trucked out here from San Diego, I decided to spend some time fixing it up. And it’s almost ready to sail. In a few months, I’m going to sail it to California. And if that goes well, I may just decide to keep going.”
Lisa shook her head. “California? So you’re just going to sail on down to the Panama Canal all by yourself. What about hurricanes? What about pirates and drug runners and...and whales? Whales run into sailboats all the time. Haven’t you read Moby Dick?”
“I’m well aware of the dangers,” Annie said. “I’ve been sailing since I was a kid. This is something I need to do. I think maybe it might be the closure I need. I’ll take the honeymoon we never had, and then I’ll sell the boat in California and come back here.”
“Well, I think it’s a crazy idea. If you want closure, you need to find yourself a new man. And there are plenty of handsome, single men invited to this wedding.”
“And all of them are in the military,” Annie said.
“My soon-to-be husband was in charge of that side of the guest list, so I can’t be blamed. What’s wrong with a military man?”
“I don’t think I can go through all of that again. The waiting, the worrying. I just want a regular guy. An accountant or a salesman. Someone who will be home every night and doesn’t have anyone shooting at him.”
“I know exactly what you mean. That’s why I refused to marry Nellie for so long,” Lisa said. “I waited until he was done with active duty.”
“You have three children,” Annie said.
“I couldn’t help myself. But now he’s home and safe. It’s the right time. The kids are old enough to start questioning why Mommy and Daddy have different last names. Nellie’s got an engineering job lined up with Lockheed, and we’re going to finally live a normal life.”
A knock sounded on the door, and Annie went over to open it. Lisa’s six-year-old daughter, Sky, waited on the other side. She was a bridesmaid and carried three bouquets in her arms.
“Grandma said I should bring these to you and that they’re ready for you to come down.”
She handed Annie a simple clutch of daisies and gave her mother a bouquet of white roses. Lisa gave her daughter a hug. “Do you remember what to do?”
Sky nodded. “I walk with Riv on this side and Breezie on this side. And Riv carries the rings and Breezie throws the petals. And then we stand next to Annie and try not to squirm. And if we’re good, we get to drink as much soda as we want to.”
Annie laughed. “That’s a nice reward.”
“You dance with a few men, and I’ll let you have soda, too,” Lisa said.
“All right.” Annie grabbed Sky’s hand. “Let’s go have a wedding. Are you excited?”
The little girl nodded.
“Me, too.” They walked out into the hall, Lisa trailing behind them. As they reached the first floor, the rest of the bridal party was waiting. River and Breezie looked more nervous than excited, as did Lisa’s father, John.
They arranged themselves on the back deck, taking last-minute instructions from Lisa, before they began their walk to the orchard. They were in sight of the guests when a dark-haired man in a blue Oxford shirt came jogging past them.
He turned and faced Lisa, his hands up, his expression contrite. “Sorry I’m late. You look great. Where should I go?”
“Gabe! We didn’t think you’d make it.”
“Change of plans,” he said. He glanced over at Annie and for an instant their gazes locked. The smile faded from his face. “Annie? What are you doing here?”
She swallowed hard, unable to fashion a coherent reply. All that she could manage was a very meek “Hello.”
He quickly turned and headed toward the gathering of guests. Annie let out a tightly held breath and tried to keep her whole body from melting into a puddle. How many times over the past seventeen months had she thought about that kiss? Too many to count. And every time it had come to mind, always in speculation of what might have happened had she responded, it had been followed by waves of guilt.
“What was that?” Lisa asked, looking back and forth between the retreating Gabe and her matron of honor.
“Nothing,” Annie murmured. “I was just startled. I didn’t know you were going to invite him.”
“He’s one of Nellie’s buddies. Remember? He and Nellie were in flight school together.”
“I remember. Erik, too.” She drew a ragged breath. “I...I just haven’t seen him since that night. You know, the kiss.”
Lisa’s mother grabbed her daughter’s arm. “Darling, they’re waiting. We need to go. We’re already seven minutes late.”
“They’ll wait,” Lisa said. She turned back to Annie. “What kiss?”
“Didn’t I tell you about that?” Annie asked.
“No.”
“Oh, I thought I had. Well, a few weeks after Erik’s funeral, Gabe kissed me. In the boat shed. We were talking and I was crying and he was holding me and...it just happened.”
“Darling, they’ve started the processional music. Everyone is waiting.”
“Mother, I’m the bride. Nellie has been waiting all these years to marry me. Believe me, he’ll wait a few minutes longer.”
“I’m fine,” Annie said. “We have to go.” She took River’s hand and gently drew him along. “Come on, let’s go get married. Your mother and I can talk later.”
“Damn right we’ll be talking later,” Lisa muttered. “I’m going to want all the details.”
When they reached the far end of the aisle, Annie sent the children down, pointing to their father and their uncle Peter, who were waiting next to the minister. River chose to run, while Breeze took her job seriously, plucking one pink rose petal at a time from the basket and placing it on the ground in front of her. Meanwhile, Sky was forced to walk at a snail’s pace behind her, rolling her eyes and urging her little sister to speed it up.
The processional music finished before Annie had even taken a step up the aisle, so to everyone’s laughter, the vocalist began the song all over. Annie slowly walked toward the flower-covered arbor, her gaze fixed on the white ribbons as they blew in the breeze.
She knew he was watching her, but she was afraid to look around and risk meeting his gaze. If she had told Lisa about the kiss, then she could have written this off as a setup, pure and simple. They were best friends and she should have at least mentioned it. But Annie had kept that night a secret and, over time, tried to rationalize her response.
She’d been mourning her dead husband, she’d been emotionally overwrought, she hadn’t been thinking straight. Her whole world had been turned upside down, and Gabe had offered her comfort in the only way he knew how—by kissing her. By kissing her?
Even she wasn’t deluded enough to admit that the kiss wasn’t about just comfort. There was an underlying passion, a need that couldn’t be ignored. It had been the last thing she’d expected Gabe to do.
Since that unexpected moment had happened, she’d wondered what Gabe had been thinking. Had he been so crude to believe that now that she was a widow she was free to indulge? She couldn’t come up with any other explanation. In all the time they’d spent together before Erik’s death, he’d always seemed mildly annoyed with her, as if she were standing in the way of “bro” time with his best friend.
She clutched her bouquet more tightly, trying to focus on the job at hand. Just five more steps. Four. Three. Two. And stop. She slowly turned to watch the bride come down the aisle, flanked by her parents.
Maybe he’d been testing her. That was probably it. Testing her loyalty to her husband. What better place than after his funeral. Annie felt her anger rise. How dare he question her fidelity. After all, she was the one left behind all those times when Erik was deployed.
He was out fighting wars and doing his patriotic duty, while she was at home, worrying about him. And never once, not in five years of marriage, had she thought about straying. Never once had she regretted marrying Erik, even though they’d been miles apart for more days than they’d been together.
She wouldn’t be tempted by Gabe again, Annie mused. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing between them. He was her husband’s best friend, but they had never had a relationship. She’d say hello, make polite chitchat and then leave him to his own devices.
She glanced over at him again and found him staring at her. He smiled, and Annie felt her stomach flutter. He looked good. He was even more handsome than she remembered. Oh, damn, this was going to be a lot harder than she could have ever imagined.
* * *
SHE WAS DELIBERATELY avoiding him. The reception was in full swing beneath an open-air tent at the edge of the orchard, people dancing to a country band after a meal of barbecue and burgers. Strings of lights crisscrossed the canvas above their heads, mimicking the stars that twinkled in the night sky.
The mood was casual, and everyone was out of uniform and primed to party into the night. Hell, most of the guests were already well beyond their limit, but Gabe had decided to forgo the alcohol and keep his mind sharp and focused on just one thing—Annie. Oddly, every time he moved in to try to talk to her, she slipped away.
He was beginning to feel like some crazy stalker, but he’d decided the moment he saw her that he was going to find a way to talk to her, to apologize for what had happened that night in the boat shed.
Annie had danced with nearly every single guy at the reception and was dancing with Lisa and her kids when he decided to make his move. She was distracted and didn’t see his approach.
“Hey, kids. Can I dance with you, too?”
“Uncle Gabe can always dance with us,” Lisa said, reaching out to pull him into their circle. “Annie, you don’t mind if he dances with us, do you?”
“Actually, I’m a bit tired. I think I’ll go sit down and rest.”
“No,” Sky said. “Stay with us!”
“Yeah, stay with us,” Gabe said.
Annie shook her head, then turned and walked off the dance floor. The three kids watched her leave, then gave Gabe a disapproving look. “She was tired,” he said with a shrug.
“Maybe you should go after her,” Lisa said.
“She’s been avoiding me all day. She’s so good at it, I’m thinking she might have gone through SERE training since the last time I saw her. Survival, evasion, resistance and escape. She’s got evasion down.”
“So go ahead and test her resistance,” Lisa teased.
Gabe grinned. “We do have a lot to talk about.”
“I’m sure you do. I’d start with that kiss.”
“She told you about...”
Lisa nodded. “She sure did. Bold move, Captain Pennington.”
“Stupid move,” he said. “I need to apologize.”
“Ask her to dance,” Lisa said. “I’ll go request a slow song, and you’ll have four or five minutes to say what you need to say.”
Gabe left the dance floor, more determined than ever to speak with Annie. She had to know that the kiss was just a simple expression of affection. He’d never meant to cause her a single moment of pain or regret.
He found her at the dessert table with a plate full of sweets. She watched his approach with a suspicious eye but didn’t make a move to evade him. Gabe decided that humor was the best option, so he stood next to her and stared out at the dance floor.
“If that plate is too heavy, I’d be happy to hold it for you,” he said.
“You once said I was the strongest woman you knew,” she said. “Were you lying to me?”
“I wasn’t referring to your biceps,” he said. “And I think I said that you were the most amazing woman I knew.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Trust me,” he murmured. “I remember every word we said to each other that day.”
“Just the words?” she asked.
He turned to her, their gazes finally meeting, her eyes flashing with defiance. Gabe grabbed the plate from her hand and set it on a nearby table. The band began a soft country ballad, and he jumped on the opportunity. “Why don’t we dance? It will make it much easier to talk. And it will burn off a few of those calories you were about to consume.”
“Do we have anything to talk about?” Annie asked.
“I’m sure I’ll find something,” he said, taking her arm and leading her along. When they reached the dance floor, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He’d never been much of a dancer, but he decided to do his best impression of Fred Astaire. “I’m going to start with an apology. I’m sorry about that night. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I never should have kissed you.”
“Why did you do it?” she asked.
He fought the urge to tell her the truth. That he’d been desperate, convinced that the moment between them might be the last they ever spent together. He was heading back into a war zone, and though he didn’t want to think about dying, he couldn’t help himself. For him it was a life-and-death decision, not the impulse of a horny Marine.
No, he wouldn’t tell her the truth. He’d take a page out of Erik’s playbook and let her believe that it was driven by some other form of desire.
“You know, I’ve tried to figure it out. I think I just wanted to make you feel better. Kissing is the only thing I know that always works with a weeping woman.”
The explanation sounded silly and shallow. He added a crooked smile as she regarded him suspiciously, hoping that might sell it.
“You’re speaking from your considerable experience with women?”
Gabe chuckled. “See? We’re talking. That’s a good thing. Do you forgive me? Because I am sorry. And I do regret my behavior that night. If you forgive me, we might be able to be friends. And besides being an excellent dancer, I’m an outstanding friend.”
He could see her softening, and when she finally smiled, he felt a surge of satisfaction. It wasn’t over between them. He’d have another chance. And this time, he wasn’t going to blow it.
“Come on,” he murmured, leaning closer. “You’re not the type to hold a grudge.”
“All right. I forgive you. But if you try it again, I might have to punch you.”
“That sounds like fun,” he teased. “I guess I have something to look forward to.”
They continued to dance, leaving the banter behind and giving Gabe a chance to focus on the steps. It felt good to hold her in his arms, to feel her body sway against his. She was exactly as he’d remembered her—stubborn, feisty, opinionated. And sweet, funny and beautiful. All at the same time.
When the music stopped, she quickly stepped out of his embrace and clapped politely. “Thank you,” she murmured.
“I haven’t had any cake yet,” Gabe said. “Would you like to join me? I think we left your plate over there.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger over her lips. “Before you say no, remember that we have a lot to catch up on.”
“All right,” she finally said.
They found an empty table, and he pulled out her chair and waited for her to sit. “Can I bring you anything else?” he asked. “Champagne? Or some punch?”
“Punch,” she said. “No, champagne.” She forced a smile. “I better stick to punch.”
“I’ll bring you both. Be right back.”
Lisa and Nellie were standing near the cake table as he stacked a few more pieces on Annie’s plate. Each of the four layers was a different flavor, so he chose a variety. “Great cake,” he said.
“Have at it, buddy,” Nellie shouted.
Lisa sent him a knowing smile, as if she’d been watching the two of them. “Be nice,” she warned, handing him a cold bottle of champagne.
He stopped at the punch bowl and balanced a cup on the edge of the plate, then returned to the table. He carefully set the plate in front of her. “I didn’t know what flavor cake you liked, so I brought all of them.”
She stared silently at the plate for a long moment and he realized that bringing her so much might seem like a comment on her eating habits. Jeez, when was he going to learn to think before he acted?
“Didn’t you bring yourself a plate?” she asked. “What are you going to eat?”
He pulled out a chair and plopped down next to her, chuckling at the cool look she cast his way. “I thought we could share.” Gabe speared a bite of carrot cake, then popped it in his mouth. “Good cake. So, how have you been?”
“Good,” Annie replied. “Most of the time. The sailing school is doing pretty well. We had a record number of students register for the summer. I had to build a new bunkhouse. We added a couple more programs and brought in some great mentors for the students to work with. But it’s never going to make me rich.”
“I’d like to stop by and see it,” he said.
She gave him a sideways glance. “Why would you want to do that?”
“You rent boats. I might want to go sailing. I’m going to be moving to the area in a few weeks. I’ve been temporarily assigned to do some consulting on new avionics software at Pax River. I’m going to be working with Nellie.”
“So you’re making a career of the Marine Corps?”
“That’s always been the plan. Unless NASA comes calling. I’m thinking I’d like to fly the new space shuttle.”
“You have some big dreams,” she said. Annie picked at her cake, then set her fork down and pushed the plate away. “Can I be completely honest with you?”
Gabe nodded. “Absolutely.”
“If you’re thinking there might be something between us, you need to know that I’m never going to be with you. I’ve decided that I need to find a man who isn’t in the military.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. There’s just one problem with that.”
“A problem? What problem?” Annie asked.
“I’m in the military. And you already like me. I guess, if we’re going to hang out, you’re going to need to change your plans. I mean, you might just start to think of me as more than just a friend. I like to keep an open mind about things like this.”
Annie shook her head. “You’re very sure of yourself.”
“When I see something I want, I don’t stop until I get it.”
“And what do you want?” she asked.
Gabe shrugged. “Lots of things. But a summer on the Chesapeake would be a good start.”
Annie pushed to her feet. “I should probably get back to my duties as matron of honor.”
“And I’ve got a long drive back to Pax River. It was nice talking to you again, Annie.” He leaned over and brushed a kiss across her cheek. “I’ll be seeing you.”
He walked away from her without looking back, knowing that he was risking it all by playing it cool. Gabe wandered over to the bride and groom and promised that he’d be back for another visit now that they’d be residing on the same side of the country again.
When he leaned in to kiss Lisa’s cheek, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Don’t give up on her,” she said. “You two would be great together.”
“I’ll be seeing you next month,” Nellie said. “Try to keep yourself out of trouble until then. I’m counting on you to make me look good to my civilian bosses.”
As he walked out to his car, Gabe smiled to himself. He’d looked forward to reconnecting with a few old friends. He’d never expected to run into Annie Jennings. But he’d managed to piece together something that a simple kiss had nearly destroyed over a year ago.
“Mission accomplished,” he murmured.
2 (#ua3b2ed2f-f24f-5efd-aa75-aaaef5b80948)
IT WAS THE end of the first camping session for sixteen-and seventeen-year-old sailors, and Annie was attempting to take a group photo with every one of the sixteen students and the four counselors on the deck of one of their J-22 sailboats.
The warm wind was brisk, blowing across the bay and kicking up whitecaps with each gust. Rigging clanked against the aluminum masts, causing a cacophony of noise.
“All right, settle down,” she shouted. “Just let me get a few more, and then you can all go crazy. Joey, stand next to the mast with Alicia.”
The older teens were fun to teach, and most of them had attended camp the previous summer, and Annie knew them well. They were already accomplished sailors, so they spent their mornings and afternoons talking about sail efficiency and racing tactics and heavy weather, their instruction based on their own personal interests.
“All right, campers, you are officially done. We’ve got a big lunch for you and your parents when they get here to pick you up. The six of you who are staying for the next session are also invited to the picnic. Any of you high school seniors who are interested in being a camp counselor next summer, please see me before you leave. I’ve loved having you all and hope to see you back next—”
She felt herself being propelled forward, and a moment later she was in the water with two of the college-age counselors. How they’d managed to get off the boat and sneak up behind her she didn’t know, but it was part of the tradition at the camp on the last day of a session. Everyone took a dip off the dock.
After a few minutes of good-natured splashing, Annie swam to the ladder at the end of the dock. As she crawled up, a hand reached out to her and she took it, leaping up to put both feet on solid wood.
“Thanks,” she said. But as she looked up, she realized that her knight in shining armor was Gabe Pennington. He was dressed in his everyday uniform, khaki shirt and navy pants, his cover dangling from his fingertips. Dark sunglasses hid his eyes.
“This looks familiar,” he said. “Isn’t this where we began?”
She smiled, pulling her ponytail to the side and wringing it out. “Do you want to go in?”
“No, ma’am.”
Annie started down the dock. “I thought you Marines were good on both land and water.” Annie glanced back at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Can’t I come and visit an old friend?”
She laughed lightly. “Are we friends? I don’t recall coming to a firm decision on that point.”
“I’ve been looking for a place to live on the weekends, and there was a cottage for rent a few miles north of here. I thought I’d swing by and say hello while I was in the neighborhood.”
Annie arched an eyebrow. It was bad enough having Gabe in the same state, but if he was going to be living just a stone’s throw away, she wasn’t sure she was comfortable with that idea. “How did it look?” she asked.
“It wasn’t right for me,” he said. “Too much yard work. And I need a place that’s close to restaurants. I don’t cook for myself, so there has to be some options close by. And a place to do my laundry. And work out. And I’d hoped to get something on the water.”
“Sounds exactly like the base,” she said.
He nodded. “Yeah, it does. But I’m going to live there during the week. I just like a place to get away.”
Annie wasn’t sure where the idea had come from or what compelled her to extend the invitation, but the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. “You could always stay here,” she said.
Since her parents had retired to Florida, she’d struggled with living in an empty house. Though the camp was usually filled with student sailors, Annie didn’t socialize with them in the evening, leaving that to the college-age counselors. So instead, she’d been left to her thoughts, which she figured were much more dangerous than Captain Gabe Pennington.
“Here?” he asked.
“There’s a small efficiency apartment above the old boathouse. But it’s a mess and it needs some work. If you do the work, you can live there for free.”
“I’m not really a handyman,” he said.
“You helped Erik with his boat,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, but I just did what he told me to do. Why don’t you show me this place and then I’ll decide?”
The sailing school was set on a beautiful piece of property on the western shore of the Chesapeake Bay. Her grandfather had founded the school after he had served in the Navy in World War II. Her father had taken it over a few years after her oldest brother was born. He’d offered the business to both of her brothers, but they’d made lives of their own in Seattle and Chicago and had no interest in an almost-failing business. So she was left to run the place on her own.
The boathouse sat near the water’s edge, the lower story home to the Honeymoon. The shallow, sandy bottom on the western shore made it impossible to launch the sloop without trucking it to a deeper harbor, yet another cost to add to the ever-growing list for her trip. But she was almost ready to get wet and Annie was looking forward to that moment.
The upper story of the boathouse was a single room surrounded by windows that overlooked the water that the counselors sometimes used as a game room on rainy days. “There’s something I want to show you,” she said.
Annie led him to the lower floor, pulling open a creaky door. Light flooded in from the far end, and she flipped a switch to illuminate the bay even more. The Honeymoon loomed large in the cavernous space, resting in its timber cradle.
“Look at this,” he said. Gabe reached out and pulled her into a friendly embrace. “I can’t believe you decided to keep it. How did it get here?”
She’d stopped listening to their conversation and was focused on the feel of his hand on her shoulder. She’d been living off the memories of their last encounter, the dance they’d shared at the wedding.
“Annie?”
“What?”
“How did you get the boat out here?”
“I had it trucked across the country. It cost a fortune, but I just couldn’t sell it. I wanted to finish it, for Erik. And for me. It’s almost done. I’ve just got to put in the electronics and raise the mast and do all the rigging.” She paused. “You could help me with that. If you’d like.”
Gabe smiled and nodded. “I would like that. For Erik.”
“I can talk about him now without crying,” Annie said.
Gabe turned to face her, his hands resting on her waist. “I told you it would get better.”
“That’s why I’m going to sail it to California. I’ve decided it’s the final thing I’m going to do for our marriage. He always wanted to sail across the Pacific, just the two of us.”
“And who’s going with you?”
“I’m going alone,” she said. “I’m going to leave at the end of August. If the boat isn’t ready, I’ll stop along the way and have the work done. It should be finished by the time I get to the Caribbean, and then it’s a quick sail to Panama and then up the coast of Mexico to San Diego.”
“You realize how difficult it is to sail north to California? You’ll be sailing against the wind most of the way. And you’ll have hurricane season on the East Coast. You’re planning to leave at the worst time of the year. I don’t think you’ve thought this out very carefully.”
She’d been hearing the same thing from everyone she’d told. It’s too dangerous. There are hurricanes. How will you keep watch? “I’ve heard all the cons,” Annie said. “I’m an experienced sailor. I can handle whatever comes along.”
“I think you’re overestimating your talents. I don’t approve. And I don’t think Erik would approve either. And your parents certainly wouldn’t.”
She stepped back, avoiding his touch. Annie thought that Gabe, of all people, would understand what she was trying to do. “Well, luckily I’m a grown woman and I don’t need anyone’s approval. Besides, I need an adventure. I spent five long years sitting at home, waiting for my husband, wondering when our life was going to begin. And then he was gone, and all that waiting was for nothing. I need to go out and find my own adventures in life, not wait around for someone to bring them to me.”
“Annie, this is dangerous for two people, let alone one. Anything could happen out there. And no one would be able to help you.”
“Of course it’s dangerous. It wouldn’t be an adventure if it wasn’t a little dangerous. But maybe I need some danger in my life. Maybe I wouldn’t feel quite so numb.” Annie’s anger went from a simmer to a boil. Who did he think he was? Sure, he may have helped her out for a few weeks after Erik’s funeral. And maybe they had agreed to be friends. But what right did he have to make decisions about how she ran the rest of her life?
“Maybe it would be better if you didn’t stay here,” she murmured. “I...I have work to do. You know the way out.”
With that, she turned on her heel and strode out the door. As she walked back to the office, she realized that the parents were starting to arrive for the last-day picnic. She’d have to paste on her friendliest smile and pretend that everything was just fine.
“Annie!”
“Go away,” she shouted. “I can’t talk now. I’m too busy.”
“You don’t look busy to me,” Gabe said.
“Well, you don’t know anything about me. I’m not surprised you think that.”
Annie yanked open the screen door and walked into the kitchen, only to find the camp cook, Sarah Martin, hard at work on the lunch for the campers. Cursing to herself, she walked through to the front room, which was stacked high with boxes of T-shirts and foul-weather gear, all imprinted with the school’s logo.
She distractedly began to sort them. Hopefully, Gabe had taken the hint and headed for his car. But when she heard the screen door slam, she knew that the argument would probably continue.
Annie heard his footsteps in the hall, and a few seconds later he appeared in the wide archway. He stared at her for a long moment, then raked his hands through his hair. “You know, right after you and Erik got married, he took me aside and made me promise that if anything happened to him that I’d watch over you. And I agreed. And if I had married, he would have done the same thing for me. I take that promise very seriously, Annie.”
“Well, I absolve you of your responsibility. Whatever promises you made are hereby canceled.”
“It’s not that simple,” he said.
“Yes, it is. I’m going to make that trip, and you can’t stop me.”
Gabe crossed the room to stand in front of her. “All right, here’s the deal. Over the next couple months, we’re going to take the Honeymoon out on a series of shakedown cruises. We’ll get the boat operating properly for a single-handed sailor, and I’ll make sure that I’m confident that you can handle her in rough weather.”
“I’m a better sailor than you are,” she snapped.
“Yes, I know that. If everything is cool, I’ll be waving goodbye to you from the dock.”
It wasn’t a bad deal, Annie thought to herself. She was confident in her abilities as a sailor. And it would be nice to have some help in the shakedown phase, since there would probably be more than enough work for the two of them.
“All right,” she said.
“We’ve come to an agreement?”
Annie nodded.
Gabe grinned. “All right, then.” He glanced around the room. “Is there anything you need help with? I can give you a hand with the picnic. Or maybe put these boxes away.”
“No, I’m fine.”
Gabe reached out and took her hands in his, giving her fingers a squeeze. “There’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help now and then.” He slowly drew her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of her wrist.
Annie held her breath as a rush of warmth snaked up her arm. His dark hair had fallen across his brow, and she reached out and brushed it from his eyes. She could feel her heart beating in her chest as they stared at each other for a long moment.
“I should probably go take a look at that apartment,” he murmured.
“Yes, you should,” she said, letting her fingers drift down his temple and cheek.
Gabe turned into her touch and she froze, her fingers splayed on his jaw. Slowly, he bent forward and Annie knew that he wanted to kiss her. But after the last time, would he stop himself? Or would he give in to his impulse?
In the end, Annie decided to take things into her own hands. Pushing up on her toes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a long, delicious kiss. It had been over a year since she’d kissed a man with any type of passion. Her first kiss with Gabe had been so sudden she hadn’t had a chance to figure out what it was all about.
But this kiss was different. She’d show him exactly who was in charge here. She made all the decisions in her life, including when to kiss him. Annie hadn’t intended to let the kiss go on as long as it had, but now that they were well into it, she wasn’t sure how to bring it to a graceful end.
Gabe’s hands drifted down from her waist to her hips, and he held her there as he pressed her back against the doorjamb. Her body had gone from pleasantly warm to alarmingly ablaze in just a few seconds. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath, and her knees felt like they were about to collapse beneath her.
“I should probably go,” he whispered, his lips warm against her neck.
“You should,” she said.
He leaned into her, his hips meeting hers in a provocative dance. “I’m going to go.”
“Yes,” Annie said. “Goodbye.”
His tongue tangled with hers, leaving her lips damp with the taste of him. “Bye,” he said.
Gabe lingered for a few minutes longer before he finally stepped away. His gaze searched her face, and Annie managed a coy smile. Though they’d both talked of friendship, it was becoming more than obvious that there was something more happening between them.
She drew a deep breath and waited for the guilt to assail her. But the only feeling she could manage was breathless anticipation. She liked kissing him and guessed that he felt the same way. And she enjoyed running those moments over and over again in her head.
In truth, she’d been spending far too much time thinking about Gabe and his handsome face and sexy mouth and killer body. There was definitely an attraction between them, Annie couldn’t deny that any longer. So what had changed? Where had the guilt gone? Was it being overwhelmed by the excitement of the moment? Would it suddenly reappear and make her feel even worse for the thoughts that ran through her head?
Maybe if she spent a little more time kissing him, she’d be able to figure it all out.
* * *
GABE STOOD AT the end of the pier, staring out at the cluster of J-22s maneuvering around a buoy a half mile away. The wind was brisk but warm, and the bay had a scent that was so familiar to his senses that it brought memories swirling forth in his mind.
As a kid, he’d worked his father’s lobster boat and was well-acquainted with waters off the coast of Maine. But the Chesapeake was different, a spot where freshwater and salt water met. The shoreline was gentle and rolling with thick forests, so different from the rocky coastline of Maine.
A small motorboat ran alongside the sailboat race, and he could make out Annie behind the wheel. She was shouting instructions to the race participants as they tacked back and forth against the wind.
The more he got to know her, the more he found to admire. Everything she did, she did at one hundred percent, throwing herself headfirst into life as if she’d learned to appreciate every day.
It wasn’t surprising, considering the loss she’d experienced. She thought her life had been perfectly planned ahead of her. It was impossible to fathom a future without her husband, so she’d never even considered it a possibility.
He’d only seen the marriage from one side, and he hadn’t always liked it. But now Gabe was beginning to understand the other side, the fierce loyalty that Annie had toward Erik, the unconditional love that made it impossible for her to accept his passing.
It had been over a year since they’d shared that first kiss, and for the first time Gabe was hopeful that she was ready to move on with her life. Last weekend, she’d actually kissed him, and in the intervening days, Gabe had decided that her actions had been a definite sign. The attraction between them wasn’t just one-sided.
In truth, he’d tried to keep things purely platonic, not willing to risk losing her over some silly torch he’d been carrying. But now things had shifted between them and he had cause to hope that there might be something more in their future. Sure, she’d been adamant about rejecting a man in the military. But could her views on that be softening?
He watched as the small motorboat split away from the sailboats and headed toward the dock. As she approached, he kept his eyes fixed on her, watching as her pale hair whipped around her face in the breeze.
She deftly pulled the vintage boat up to the dock and tossed him a line. “Get in. I’ll take you for a ride.”
“Don’t you have to watch your students?”
“There’s a counselor with each boat. They’ll bring them in after the race.”
He jumped in beside her, the line in his hand. “This is a really nice boat. You don’t see too many of these anymore.”
“My dad restored it. It’s great for waterskiing.” She pulled away from the dock and thrust the throttle forward. In a few seconds, they were skimming across the smooth surface of the bay, a soft spray coming up from the bow.
He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of the sun on his face. Gabe felt the boat veer to the left, and he opened his eyes and saw them approaching a spot on the shore. “Where are we going?” he asked.
“I wanted to show you something,” she said. “When I was a kid, we used to come out here and play. It was like our own fortress. Take the line and go up on the bow. I’ll pull it in close, and just hop out and tie us to a tree.”
Gabe did as he was told. When the boat was secure, he held out his hand and helped Annie out. She started into the woods and he followed, wondering what she could possibly have to show him. Before long, they were hiking on a well-worn path, and up ahead he could see sunlight shining through the trees.
Birds sang overhead and the sound of the breeze ruffling the trees provided a pleasant counterpoint. A few seconds later they stepped into a clearing. Shafts of sunlight illuminated an abandoned stone church, the roof long ago caved in and the windows gone.
“Wow,” he said, stepping inside the front doorway. Wildflowers grew up from where the floor used to be, and a rabbit skittered through the lush greenery. Vines hung from the walls, nearly obscuring the old windows. “What is this?”
“There was a settlement here, back in the 1700s,” Annie said. “The whole village was burned to the ground when the church was struck by lightning. The people were too superstitious to rebuild, so they just scattered to other towns along the western shore.” She walked along the wall and then found a spot. “Here it is.”
Gabe stepped to her side and squatted to see some letters carved into one of the stones. “A.F. plus E.J. Annie Foster and Erik Jennings.” Gabe smiled. “He told me about this. This is where he proposed to you.”
Annie smiled and nodded. “It was really wonderful, but it didn’t go perfectly. He set up a little dinner with champagne and candlelight. And then he came back to the house to get me. But by the time we got back, then sun was going down and the mosquitoes were vicious. And when we got here, a raccoon was sitting in the middle of the table, enjoying our dinner. All we had left was the champagne. So he got down on one knee and asked me. And that was that. We carved our initials in the stone and ran back to the boat, the mosquitoes chasing us the whole way.”
“It’s a good story,” Gabe said.
“It is,” she said with a wistful smile. “I always thought I’d tell it to our children and grandchildren someday.” She walked over to one of the windows and stood in a shaft of light. “When I first got home, I used to come out here and talk to him. All the memories were so fresh and vivid and...perfect. I could still hear his voice.” She sighed softly. “Now the memories are vivid, but they’re also real. It’s not just a romantic proposal anymore. Now the mosquitos and the raccoon are part of it.”
“Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to happen?” he asked. “It helps you cope with your loss. Let’s you move on.”
“It’s happening so fast,” Annie said. Her voice grew soft and hesitant. “There are times when I can’t remember him at all.”
Gabe took a step toward her and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll never forget him entirely.”
“But he’ll be replaced. Like he is now.”
Gabe frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Her body trembled slightly, and she shook her head. “All I can think about is your hand on my shoulder. How good it feels to be touched again. How every time you touch me, even in the most innocent way, I seem to get all warm and breathless. My heart starts pounding, and the only person I can think about is you.”
The confession seemed to take everything out of her, and for a moment he thought she was about to cry. Gabe drew her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. “What do you want me to do?”
Annie pulled out of his embrace, turning on him and holding her hands out in defense. “I don’t know. I don’t want to forget him. But the more time I spend with you, the harder it is.” She forced a smile. “We should go. It’s getting late.”
“No, we should talk about this,” Gabe insisted. “If this is going to be a problem, we can’t just ignore it.”
“Sure we can,” Annie said with a laugh. She turned and scampered out of the old church.
Gabe followed her, stumbling through the thick brush. He finally caught her at the water’s edge and grabbed her waist, pulling her back into his arms.
She stared up at him, breathless, the color high in her cheeks. He couldn’t remember a time when she looked more beautiful, or more tempting. “Don’t do it,” she warned, her chest rising and falling.
He’d let it go for now, satisfied with the progress he had made. Gabe wasn’t willing to risk her affection for a quick grope in the woods. He had a second chance; it would be foolish to waste it.
Gabe grinned, then took her hand and helped her back onto the boat. “This is going to be an interesting summer,” he murmured.
* * *
THE SOUNDS OF a hot summer night drifted through the bathroom window—the quiet chirp of crickets, the far-off bark of a dog, the sound of the water lapping against the dock. Annie hung her leg over the edge of the tub as she sank into the cool water, closing her eyes and sighing softly. A fickle breeze teased at the lacy curtains, and she drew a deep breath, smelling rain in the air.
She swirled her fingers in the water, stirring up the scent of lavender, meant to soothe her nerves. Annie had tried to forget the fact that she hadn’t seen Gabe in five days. During the week, he stayed on base. But on weekends, he was supposed to take up residence in her boathouse. It was now 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night, and he hadn’t turned up.
With a soft curse, Annie sank beneath the surface of the water. She had no right to be irritated with him. And yet she was. Was it wrong to enjoy his presence? She was surrounded by teenagers without anyone to really talk to. Gabe was interested in her life.
She dragged the washcloth over her arm. To be honest, it wasn’t just the conversation that she missed. It was the physical contact—the occasional touch of his hand that felt like a caress, or the warmth of his lips pressed against hers. She’d grown accustomed to the longing when she’d been married to Erik, but Gabe was different. With him, everything was new, more desperate, more intense.
They’d moved past the boundaries of friendship. The kissing and touching had burned that bridge. And yet she couldn’t call their relationship a romance. There was nothing of the typical trappings found in that kind of relationship—no flowers, no dinners out, no attempts at sweet gestures or flowery sentiments.
Instead, she felt as if she were caught in some no-man’s-land, focused on the physical pleasures of his touch, yet determined not to fall in love with the man. This wasn’t a romance, it was a...a fixation. An obsession. An infatuation.
She’d expected to feel guilty over her new fixation, but that feeling hadn’t set in yet. Annie had been without a man for nearly twenty months. Any woman, widow or not, would be restless. And faced with easing those feelings with a man as sexy and handsome as Gabe, how could she resist?
Maybe it was time to move on, at least in the physical sense. She wasn’t ready to fall in love again, and Annie wasn’t sure that there was a man out there to replace her dead husband. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t move on physically, that she couldn’t enjoy sex with another man. The physical contact would ease her loneliness, and when she was alone again, the memories would do the same.
Gabe was the logical choice. He was geographically available, he was physically attractive and, from all indications, he wanted her. They could indulge in a no-strings affair until she left on her sailing trip. The plan seemed remarkably simple. But how would she go about explaining her needs to Gabe?
After all the years of knowing him, he really didn’t know her at all. How would he react if she dragged him into her bedroom and seduced him? A giggle bubbled out of her throat. Annie wasn’t even sure how she would react. The thought of stripping his clothes off and pushing him back into the sheets sent a shiver skittering down her spine.
She drew a deep breath and waited for the guilt. But again, it didn’t come. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
The last conversation she had with Erik was months ago. After he died, Annie used to speak to him all the time. But those things that used to soothe her had gradually faded in importance. She was thinking about sleeping with another man. “Gabe,” she murmured.
An uneasy sensation washed over her. There it was. Guilt? Or was it indecision? She was lusting after her husband’s best friend. Certainly, there had to be something immoral about that. Annie pushed out of the water and grabbed a towel from a nearby rack, wrapping it around her damp body. She took another towel for her hair, then walked out of the bathroom to her bedroom, leaving footprints on the wood floor.
This didn’t have to be so complicated. They were both adults and they both had desires—desires that they could mutually satisfy. There’d be no doubts or regrets. And she’d get what she’d been so desperately longing for. The touch of a man’s hands on her body. The warmth of his kiss and the overwhelming sensation of feeling him move inside her.
Annie let the towel slide off her body and puddle around her feet, then slipped into a faded cotton robe and tied it at the waist. She walked to her dresser, where an old fan whirred softly, and pulled her damp hair up off her neck to let the air dry her skin. Staring at her reflection in the dresser’s mirror, she brushed the robe off her shoulder, revealing the soft flesh of her breast, the nipple barely covered.
Annie couldn’t help but wonder if she even had the courage to act on her impulses. Seducing a man in her head was far easier than doing it in real life.
“I was wondering if you’d still be up.”
The sound of his voice startled her, and she pressed her hand to her chest, clutching at the front of her robe. “I thought you’d decided to stay on base.” She slowly turned, letting her hand drop to her side. Her robe gaped open provocatively.
It was a bold move, but well calculated. If a glimpse of her barely covered naked breast wasn’t enough to lure him closer, then a full-blown seduction was nothing but a fantasy.
He observed her for a long moment, his gaze drifting down her body, then back up to her face. A tiny smile quirked at the corners of his mouth. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”
She didn’t know how to answer a question like that. Annie had never considered herself a beauty. In truth, she’d always thought she was rather ordinary. “Am I?”
“From the first time I saw you, that day on the dock, I’ve thought it.”
She smiled. “Love at first sight?”
Gabe nodded. “Yeah. Absolutely. Love at first sight.”
It was a simple declaration of his affection, but his words hit her like a slap to the face. Was Gabe Pennington still in love with her? None of this would work if there were actual emotions involved. She wanted a man for her bed, not for her heart.
Annie reached for the front of her robe, drawing it closed, then tightening the tie at the waist. “And you’re still in love with me?”
He laughed and shook his head. “No! No, not at all.” Gabe paused, then gave her a sheepish smile. “Well, maybe a little bit.”
The atmosphere, so charged just a few moments ago, had shifted. “I...I should really get to bed. The kids are sailing in a regatta tomorrow, and they leave really early in the morning.”
“Mind if I tag along?”
Annie was surprised by the offer. Spending an entire day with race-crazed teenagers wasn’t for everyone. But she had to admit that she could use the help. Trying to keep an eye on sixteen rambunctious kids usually proved too much for the counselors. “Are you sure? These kids can leave you exhausted.”
“No, it’ll be fun. And I get to spend the day with you.”
“All right,” Annie said. “I guess it’s a date. We leave at 6:00 a.m.”
“All right, I’ll see you then.” He turned away from the door, then stopped short. “I brought you something. I left it down on the kitchen table.”
“What did you bring me?”
“Nothing special. Just some of those almond croissants you like from that coffee shop in Annapolis you mentioned.”
Annie frowned and shook her head. “When did I...”
“Last weekend. You were talking about buying doughnuts for breakfast and just mentioned the place. I remember stopping there with you and Erik back in the day. I was close by, so I decided to see if it was still there.”
Annie laughed softly. “How is it you’re still single? You’d think some woman would’ve snatched you up by now.”
“You’d think,” he agreed.
“You could possibly be the perfect boyfriend.”
He gave her a shrug. “Now, if only someone were looking for the perfect boyfriend. Most women are looking for imperfection. I guess that’s my problem.” With that, he turned and walked back downstairs, his footsteps retreating through the house. Annie heard the kitchen screen door slam behind him, and she flopped back on the bed.
Closing her eyes, she let her memories wind back to that day on the dock. She remembered noticing him, his steady blue gaze, his shy smile. What had made her gravitate to Erik instead? How would life have been different if she’d taken Gabe’s hand that day?
She’d still have a husband. Or had fate made that decision? Was everything a matter of fate? Erik hadn’t been a perfect husband. There had been times when she’d doubted his fidelity and when she’d questioned the depth of his love for her.
So much of who he was was wound around his career as a pilot. He lived his life fueled by adrenaline, and when he was home with her, he was like a caged animal, restless and edgy. They’d often fight, but then he’d switch gears and turn on the charm and she’d fall for him all over again.
Groaning, Annie covered her eyes with her hands. Why was she suddenly questioning her marriage? Ever since Gabe had kissed her, she’d begun to see things differently. She’d begun to see herself differently.
Annie rolled off the bed and slowly walked to the dresser. She had tucked the envelope beneath a stack of her grandmother’s embroidered handkerchiefs. From what she understood, every soldier wrote a letter meant to be delivered in the event of his death. Annie had received the envelope and read it once, then promptly tucked it away, unable to read through her tears. After that, there never seemed to be a right time to look at it again—until now.
The envelope was right where she’d left it, slightly crumpled and stained with tears. She sat back down on the bed and ran her fingertips over the writing that was once so familiar. These last few weeks, she’d been so consumed with thoughts of Gabe, she suddenly felt the need to be close to Erik again.
Annie walked to the overstuffed easy chair and sat, tucking her feet beneath her. Sliding her finger beneath the flap of the envelope, she held her breath, not certain she was ready to face the emotions within.
They’d fought the last time they were together. She’d finally told him that she was fed up with living her life alone and asked him to leave the Marines once his tour was up.
Erik had tried his best to appease her, but she had been intractable. She wanted him to make a choice, yet he refused. So they’d parted in anger. He’d called a day later to smooth things over, but Annie still wasn’t ready to let go of her resentment. And then it was over and she was left with no choice but to live with those feelings.
Annie unfolded the letter, drew a deep breath and read softly.
“‘My dearest darling,’” she murmured. “‘I’ve never been one for flowery words and romantic sentiments, but know that I have loved you from the moment we met, and if it’s possible, I will keep loving you in the hope that we will meet again someday. I know I haven’t always been the perfect husband, but you’ve been the perfect wife. Don’t spend too much time mourning me. There are plenty of men out there who will fall madly in love with you the moment they take your hand and look into your eyes. Live your life, find someone to love and all will be well again. I promise. My love forever, E.’”

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