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Baby Chase
Hannah Bernard


Being forced to share a house with a sexy–but infuriating–stranger isn't Erin Avery's idea of fun. Particularly since Nathan Chase seems to have an opinion on every aspect of her life…especially her determination to have a baby–alone!Erin has made an appointment at the fertility clinic, and she's going to keep it, whatever Nathan may think! Until he shocks her with a proposal–that he could father her baby…







Dear Reader,

We’re constantly striving to bring you the best romance fiction by the most exciting authors, and in Harlequin Romance® we’re especially keen to feature fresh, sparkling, warmly emotional novels. Modern love stories to suit your every mood: poignant, deeply moving stories; lively, upbeat romances with sparks flying; or sophisticated, edgy novels with an international flavor.

All our authors are special, and we hope you continue to enjoy each month’s new selection of Harlequin Romance novels. This month we’re delighted to feature a new novel with extra fizz! Hannah Bernard has a fresh and funny writing style and loves to create exciting, emotional characters. In Baby Chase, she brings us Erin, a thoroughly modern heroine—with a very unusual outlook on family life!

We hope you enjoy this book by Hannah Bernard—and look out for future sparkling stories in Harlequin Romance®.

Happy reading!

The Editors


Hannah Bernard always knew what she wanted to be when she grew up—a psychologist. After spending an eternity in university studying toward that goal, she took one look at her hard-earned diploma and thought, “Nah. I’d rather be a writer.”

She has no kids to brag about, no pets to complain about, and only one husband, who any day now will break down and agree to adopt a kitten.

New author for Harlequin Romance®!

Hannah Bernard is a fresh new voice for Harlequin Romance®. We’re sure you’ll enjoy her fresh, sparkling style, witty plotting and warm, passionate characters. In Baby Chase, you’ll meet Erin Avery, a librarian on a mission, and the irresistible Nathan Chase—who’ll stop at nothing to win Erin over….




Baby Chase

Hannah Bernard












www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


To Pam.

You’d better know why! :-)




CONTENTS


CHAPTER ONE (#uf105e9ae-80bd-583f-8deb-057d1338bf70)

CHAPTER TWO (#ua84a3ead-f4e3-5326-a04a-8f27164a09a1)

CHAPTER THREE (#u6d01c7e3-18da-5dc7-b31a-a20d59bcdd79)

CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)




CHAPTER ONE


OF COURSE.

As soon as the legs appeared at the edge of the bed and the bedsprings creaked under the intruder’s weight, Erin realized who he was. She let out a silent breath as the terrified pounding of her heart slowed. Of course there was no burglar in the house; no psychotic killer or rapist. It was Nathan Chase.

The intense relief was quickly followed by embarrassed dismay. The fabled Nathan was here, sitting on the bed in the guest room. And here she was, lying under that bed, clad only in a towel, with another one wrapped around her wet hair.

Erin stifled a sigh, cursing her own stupidity. Her sister-in-law had told her in a hasty last-minute message that her brother would arrive this week and stay overnight. Sally had assured her that she would not even notice him—if true to form, he would arrive around midnight and be gone early the next morning. Erin had hoped that would be true; she had no interest in meeting Sally’s insensitive clod of a brother who didn’t seem to give a damn about his own family.

Nevertheless, she should have been expecting him, instead of panicking when hearing noises downstairs after coming out of the shower. After briefly cursing her brother—it just had to be the one time she was house-sitting that his house was broken into—she had run into the empty guest room and crawled under the bed. Her instincts told her that the burglar would quickly pass the unused, almost empty room, allowing her to crawl from under the bed and escape to the roof through the window.

But there was no burglar. It was only Sally’s brother, stopping for the night before he flew to the next corner of the world suffering war, famine or pestilence.

He still hadn’t moved. Erin stared at his legs: black jeans and black socks. With…She narrowed her eyes. Did the man really have two smiling bunny rabbits on his socks?

She rolled her eyes when she noticed exactly what those bunny rabbits were doing. How typically juvenile. Her first impressions confirmed her long-established opinion of Nathan Chase, even if first impressions were only of the man’s socks. It was time to end this farce, say hello and goodbye to the man and escape.

Still she hesitated. The room was silent. She could hardly make out Nathan’s breathing. What was the best way to alert him to her presence? A polite “Excuse me” from under the bed? A tap on his calf?

Crawling from under the bed, wearing nothing but two skimpy towels and a blanket of dust, would scare the man half to death. Even with her poor opinion of Sally’s brother, she did not want to give him a heart attack. It might not make a great first impression.

He would take a shower, she suddenly realized. After all, he had just flown halfway across the world. At the very least he would go to the bathroom. That would give her ample time to escape the room. She smiled in relief at this easy solution and settled down for the wait, trying to get comfortable on the wooden floor without making a noise. It wasn’t long until Nathan gave a deep sigh and stood up.

With a triumphant smile, Erin was on her side, ready to make her escape, when the jeans were suddenly whisked away and thrown over the foot of the bed. A second later the rabbits had also said their goodbyes. Before she got more than a glimpse of the muscular calves, the door was shut and the light went out. The bedsprings sagged dangerously close and peppered her face with dust.

Erin almost groaned aloud. Nathan was not co-operating. It was just like Sally’s superman brother not to succumb to normal human needs like using the bathroom. She’d have to crawl out, scare the heck out of him and look like a complete idiot in the process. Gone was the opportunity to explain her mistake and escape with some dignity.

Or was it? How long did it take a person to fall asleep? Someone exhausted and jet-lagged? Surely he would be dead to the world in a few minutes. She would wait a while, then tiptoe out of the room—he’d never know she’d been there.

Carefully she stretched her cramped muscles, settling in for a longer wait. This will be a piece of cake, she told herself sternly. All she had to do was ignore the hard floor for a few minutes, and she would be home safe.

Just a few minutes.

Involuntarily, she shivered, goose bumps running up and down her body. A breeze from the window licked her skin with a frigid tongue. She struggled to convince herself it wasn’t that cold, but her body refused to be convinced, pointing out that two damp towels were not helping the situation.

Determined to take her mind off the numerous sources of discomfort, she concentrated on Nathan’s breathing. How much time had passed since her frantic dive under the bed? Was he asleep yet? His breathing was even and regular now, but was it the breathing of a man asleep?

Frustrated, she admitted she couldn’t tell. Not used to sharing a bed with a man, she had no clue on how to interpret the breath patterns of this particular specimen. Was this fast-asleep breathing or just-about-to-fall-asleep breathing, or even can’t-fall-asleep breathing?

The mattress had not moved since he’d lain down. Maybe he snored, she thought, heart lifting a fraction. That would give her a sure indication that he was out.

After forcing herself to count two hundred of his breaths, Erin decided he’d fallen asleep and he did not snore. She refused to even contemplate the idea that he was still awake.

One inch at a time, she pushed herself out from beneath the bed, taking care to bring the towels with her. From her prone position she saw the narrow frame of light from the hall, but nevertheless the door was firmly shut.

Darn! She had forgotten that door.

Knowing this house as she did, she knew that unless Nathan Chase was an exceptionally heavy sleeper she didn’t stand a chance of opening that squeaky door without waking him.

Turning her head to look up at the sleeping man, she could barely make out his head, turned away on the pillow, and the shape of his body under the covers. He was fast asleep. What a relief.

The cold breeze reminded her of the open window. Of course! That escape route was the reason she’d ended up in this mess in the first place. From the roof she would be able to climb back in through her own window.

She rose slowly, freezing when she realized that the light from the full moon on the sleeping man’s face had now been replaced by her shadow. He moved restlessly, turning his face towards her. Erin stood transfixed. She dared not move, fearing he would awaken should the moonlight again touch his face.

Finally, murmuring incomprehensibly, he rolled over on his stomach, turning a broad back to her. Erin relaxed slightly. She would make it after all. In one swift movement she was at the window. She clambered out onto the roof, then paused for a moment to listen for sounds from inside. There were none and she managed to close the window without a single creak.

November in Maine was not the time or place to be prancing around on rooftops wearing a towel, but she’d ignore that for the moment. She was free. With a victorious smile she started towards her own window.

She didn’t get very far. The towel had caught in the closed window. She tugged on it, then was suddenly released as the window opened. With a small shriek, Erin fell on her side and started to slide down the slanting roof, feet first.

A hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

Erin rested her forehead on the cold roof and groaned. This couldn’t be happening. This kind of thing simply did not happen to her. She was lying face down, the towel bunched up under her armpits. The man holding on to her arm was definitely getting a good view of her rear from the waist down.

It was almost preferable to looking him in the face.

Almost.

Erin grabbed on to the window ledge and pulled herself up on her knees, yanking her wrist from his grasp. She quickly tugged the towel back into position and, bracing herself, looked at the man standing inside, his arms crossed on his chest as he stared perplexed at her.

Nathan Chase, hot-shot news photographer, heartless brother of her beloved sister-in-law.

She’d never met him before, but Sally proudly displayed a picture of her brother in their living room, an enlarged but somewhat blurry snapshot of the two of them whitewater rafting. It was too dark for her to see if he’d changed much in the ten years since that picture was taken. All she could see was a silhouette of his torso and sleep-tousled hair hanging down over the faint glint of his eyes.

She took a deep breath of the cool night air before speaking.

“Um. Hi. Hello. Good evening.” She extended her hand. “You must be Nathan. I’m Erin, Thomas’s sister; you’ve probably heard of me?”

Nathan’s suspicious look at her outstretched hand was hilarious and the absurdity of the situation finally got the better of her. Biting her lip, she tried to get a hold of herself, but failed. She collapsed in a fit of giggles.

“Maybe…maybe I could come in?” she managed between fits of mirth, realizing that her giggles were not helping her regain her dignity. But she couldn’t stop laughing.

He must think she was quite insane.

Nathan wondered for a moment if his sleep-deprived mind was playing tricks on him. He had fallen asleep the moment he’d hit the bed, but noises at the window managed to rouse him what seemed like only minutes later. He had expected to find a tree branch or even a bird pecking at the window, not a dusty temptress clad in goose-bumps, moonshine and a nervous grin.

And a towel. There was a towel too.

Cold wind brushed over his bare skin, reminding him that the woman must be freezing. He moved away from the window, holding out a hand to help her in. Her small hand was icy in his palm as she climbed through the window, still giggling as she landed on her feet in front of him. Almost on reflex, he kept her cold hand between his and gently rubbed heat into it.

“You’re Thomas’s sister, Erin?” he repeated at last, finding his voice hoarse from sleep and exhaustion. He frowned as he struggled to remember what little he knew about Thomas’s family and the sister he had known would be staying here. “The…librarian?”

He stared at her with amazement as he continued to rub heat into her hand. Admittedly, it had been quite a while since his last visit to a library, but this woman did not fit his image of a librarian, neither in looks nor behavior.

“My horn-rimmed glasses are in my room, and the bun came loose in the shower,” she said solemnly before pulling her hands from his grasp. “I apologize for my unprofessional appearance.”

OK, obviously she had come across librarian stereotypes before.

She backed towards the door and, to his regret, out of the moonlight that painted such a delicious pattern of colors over her skin. “Sally has told me so much about her big brother,” she chattered. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I definitely should have paid more attention when she talked about you,” he murmured. “Just what were you doing out there, Miss Librarian? I know my brother-in-law is an innovative man around the house, but even he would draw the line at installing a hot tub up on the roof.”

“Well…” she gestured vaguely “…I thought you were a burglar. It’s a long story. Perhaps we’d better catch up on it later. I’m sure you need a good night’s sleep after your journey.” She began to move towards the door, but Nathan was finally fully awake and wasn’t about to let her off the hook so easily. Not now that he was just beginning to enjoy himself.

“Not so fast.” He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, turning her around. Her shoulders were icy too, and he promised himself he would let her go in a minute so she could get warm. This was just too much fun to miss.

Telling himself he was simply making up for keeping her out of her bed, he kept his hand on her shoulder, feeling the heat radiate to her cold skin. The contact roused almost forgotten sensations inside him. It had been a long time since he had touched a woman. For that matter, it had been ages since he had even touched another human being.

For too long, his role had been simply that of an observer.

He pushed the thought aside and allowed his usual sense of humor to resurface and drown the heavy musings. He let go of her and crossed his arms on his chest again.

“I think you owe me a decent explanation,” he said firmly, grinning inside. “How do I even know you’re really Thomas’s sister? You could be anyone.”

To his delight she took him at his word and gasped in affronted outrage, her sense of humor about the situation obviously dissipated. “You think I’m a burglar? Why…! Does this look like a burglar’s outfit?” she burst out, waving a hand at her grimy towel.

Nathan bit back a grin, and took a step back. He pretended to examine her attire thoughtfully, watching her face with amusement as she realized with a shock that she was not the most undressed person in the room.

“For heaven’s sake, haven’t you ever heard of pyjamas?” she asked, exasperated, aiming her gaze high on the wall behind his head. With a quick, angry movement she pulled the towel from her head, releasing a flow of damp curls onto her bare shoulders, and thrust it at him, eyes still averted.

Even in the faint light, Nathan could swear she was blushing. How intriguing. How…librarianish. With an amused chuckle he accepted the towel and tied it loosely around his waist. “I didn’t expect to be rescuing nude damsels stuck on rooftops tonight,” he replied. “If I’d known I assure you I would have dressed for the occasion.” He grinned. “A red cape and tights come to mind.”

Her eyes moved to the door again as she inched closer to the escape route. She started shivering theatrically to emphasize her state.

Nathan promised himself he would let her off the hook in just a minute. She needed to get warm, but after all, he could think of better ways to warm up a woman than to send her off alone to the shower. It wouldn’t hurt to run those possibilities by her. Just as food for thought, of course.

He moved closer, trapping her between the door and his body without touching her. “You’re going to leave just like that?”

His red-haired librarian seemed speechless. She was staring up at him like a doe caught in headlights, but her expression was one of surprise and suspicion, not of fear. It could be a trick of the moonlight, but he even thought he detected a flicker of awareness in those large eyes.

This had definite potential.

Nathan disregarded the little voice telling him to stop teasing her. His life had been savage lately, but he was still too much a gentleman to seduce his sister’s friend in this situation. But she intrigued him, and for some reason he felt himself craving a taste of her. He wanted to feel those red curls against his face, wanted to entangle his fingers in them as he kissed her senseless and pulled that towel away…

It’s been too long. OK, but don’t take it out on a librarian!

Ignoring the stern voice of his own conscience, Nathan let his hands rest on the door on each side of her head, forming a tiny prison for his prey. He shook his head and tsked.

“I’ve never let a babe leave my bedroom without a goodbye kiss.”

“What?” she croaked. “A babe?”

“A goodbye kiss,” he repeated. “How about it?”

Erin swallowed nervously, clutching her towel with a death grip as she leaned back against the door. The glint in his eyes told her he was teasing her, and she was pretty sure she should be furious at his audacity. Something was stopping her fury from erupting though. Although he still wasn’t touching her, he was close enough for his body heat to reach out and warm her. That was why she felt this pull towards him, she told herself, ignoring the insistent little voice that pointed out that she didn’t really feel all that cold any more. Simple survival instincts. Being cold, she would naturally gravitate towards heat.

It certainly did not mean that she would let him kiss her, even when he made the offer in that low, sexy voice. It was bad enough that she was actually tempted to take him up on it. And for one thing, nobody had ever accused her of being a babe before.

The whole situation was surreal. For once she was grateful for Nathan’s absence from his sister’s life. She would never live this down.

“I don’t think so, Mr Chase. I’m not one of those ‘babes’, and I’d appreciate it if you stopped blocking the door and let me get back to my own room. It’s very late and I’m cold and tired.”

“Call me Nathan,” he said smoothly, ignoring her outburst. “After all, you’re standing naked in my bedroom. Plus, you claim you’re family.”

That did it. At last her long-repressed anger at the absent Nathan Chase came to the fore. She took a deep breath, and then the words erupted. “I am family, you inconsiderate bastard!” she hissed. “If you’d cared enough to come to your sister’s wedding or to the baby’s christening or to any of the Christmas gatherings, or even a single family barbecue, you’d know who I am.”

She had been venting her anger at him for years in her mind. It all came pouring out now. “Do you know that your sister almost canceled her first holiday in three years, just because you’d be staying here for, what, all of six hours? It took all of mine and Thomas’s persuasive skills to convince her to go.” She jabbed her finger into his chest. “And your father’s funeral? No, you were too busy taking snapshots and picking up babes on the other side of the world. And your sister’s wedding? She so wanted you to give her away. Until the last minute she hoped you’d suddenly show up. When you didn’t she walked alone down the aisle and spent half the reception making excuses for you!” She stopped for a breath. “Half her friends think you’re a myth! You didn’t even attend the baby’s christening. Your sister named her daughter after you, but you couldn’t even spare a few hours to visit! She’s almost a year old and you’ve never even seen her! And then you dare show up here, wearing a pair of perverted rabbits, and of course you pick a time when they aren’t even here!”

Nathan was standing still in front of her, body tense, his features stony. Erin closed her mouth, then her eyes. There was silence for a long moment, but she kept her eyes closed, hoping the scene would just vanish and she’d wake up sweating in her bed. This had to be a nightmare.

At last he spoke.

“Perverted rabbits?”

She let out a heavy breath. Obviously, and perhaps unfortunately, her speech hadn’t hurt his feelings. His voice reflected no emotion other than amusement. Nothing she had said meant anything to him. Of course not. If the man had feelings, he wouldn’t behave the way he did towards his own family.

But she had no right to betray Sally’s feelings like that. Her sister-in-law never complained about her brother’s behavior or questioned the validity of his excuses.

She felt something touch her shoulders and realized he had draped his shirt over them. Defeated, she accepted the gesture, and put her arms one at a time in the sleeves, but gave up trying to fasten the buttons while still holding the towel in place.

“Are we discussing the moral message of my socks now?”

The humor in his voice tugged at her mouth, threatening to pull up its corners. She resisted. He would not charm his way around her even if he did everyone else.

“Actually, Erin, you know nothing about me, or my rabbits. And, you know, I believe those creatures are engaging in perfectly normal conduct for the rabbit species.” He began buttoning the shirt for her, without, she conceded, even so much as brushing a finger against her body.

“Nothing perverted about them. There,” he added, fastening the last button. “You’re decent now, Librarian.”

“Right.” She couldn’t believe she had allowed him to dress her like a child. This night had to be the weirdest one of her life. Shaking her head in disbelief, she turned the doorknob. Once again, he stopped her, this time with his fingers circling her wrist.

“You were in my room before I went to sleep, weren’t you? You saw my socks when I was getting undressed.”

She nodded.

“Did you enjoy the show?”

“I was hiding under the bed,” she snapped. “I didn’t see anything except those darn socks!”

“Too bad,” he muttered, “I’ll have to give you a repeat performance some time.” He released her wrist, only to put a finger to her cheek and turn her head so their eyes met. His smile was wicked. “Next time I strip for you, I’ll put more feeling into it.”

Once again, Erin opened her mouth, only to close it again, firmly banishing the tempting mental images to the basement of her mind. He reached towards her again and she jumped. Raising an eyebrow, Nathan reached past her to the door and pulled it open.

“Goodnight, Miss Librarian,” he murmured. “It’s been a pleasure. I’ll take a rain check on that kiss.”

Erin’s anger surged again as she escaped from his room. His door shut quietly behind her a second before she slammed her own door shut and collapsed on the bed.

What a bastard! She slapped her pillow a few times, then grabbed her hairbrush and brushed her hair into shape with quick, angry movements. What an unfeeling bastard! He didn’t care how he hurt his little sister. And grinning all the time, as if this was all one big joke. She threw the hairbrush on the nightstand, the towel across a chair, and crawled into bed. Grateful for its warmth and softness, she pulled the covers up to her chin.

As her anger slowly subsided, that insistent voice in her head reclaimed center stage. Never before had she experienced such an instant attraction to a man. And that to someone she had disliked from afar for years. She groaned, and pulled the covers over her head as she began to wonder what would have happened if she had agreed to that kiss. The kiss that might have happened, she admitted, if he hadn’t roused her fury with that conceited crack about babes.

With a sinking feeling, she refused to let herself wonder. They had not kissed. They never would. Nathan Chase would be gone in the morning, and good riddance.

She turned on her side and punched her pillow into submission, then closed her eyes, determined to put the whole ridiculous episode behind her. He would be gone by the time she woke up and who knew when she would see him again? With any luck she would wake up thinking he was just a dream.

A bad dream.




CHAPTER TWO


COFFEE.

Erin’s nose twitched as she trudged barefoot and yawning out of her room. She smelled coffee. Yes, this was the smell of coffee, a drug she could absolutely use right now. She rubbed her eyes with the backs of her hands. The night had been filled with fragmented dreams as she’d hovered in the twilight zone between sleep and insomnia.

Coffee. The seductive aroma was irresistible. Her nose leading the way, she padded down the stairs.

It wasn’t until she was almost at the bottom of the stairs that she realized the smell of coffee indicated the presence of another person in the house. That other person could only be Nathan. She glanced at her wrist, then slapped the banister in annoyance. Her watch must still be in the bathroom where she had left it before taking that shower last night. A late sleeper, she considered it sacrilege to rise earlier than nine on a Sunday morning, and, considering how late she’d gone to bed last night, it must be close to noon now.

Nathan should be long gone, not sitting in the kitchen drinking the Colombian nectar of the gods.

For a moment she considered going back upstairs to get dressed, but rejected the idea. After all, she was the one house-sitting; he was the overnight guest. And it was not as if her practical cotton nightgowns came close to being seductive.

Coffee.

First coffee, then think.

The morning sun streamed in through the large kitchen window, reflecting off the spotless countertops. She stopped short and stared in disbelief. Spotless they had not been the previous evening. Who had done the dishes? Three days’ worth of dishes? She squinted against the light and looked around. Nathan was sitting in the corner seat, her seat, she thought in annoyance—reading the morning paper, her paper, over a cup of coffee. His coffee, she acknowledged reluctantly.

“Morning,” she mumbled in response to his cheerful greeting and quickly fetched orange juice from the fridge and popped bread in the toaster. She helped herself to a cup of the coffee and gulped half of it down while she made her breakfast and sat down at the table opposite Nathan.

The caffeine didn’t take long to kick in, and as the fog in her mind began to lift she noticed from the corner of her eye that he had put his paper away and was scrutinizing her.

She still hadn’t looked directly at his face. Last night the room had been lit only by moonlight, his face cast in shadows. She knew the shape of his features, the glint of eyes and teeth, the waves of hair, and the silhouette of his body, but she found herself reluctant to look at him in the light of day, to complete the picture.

“I wondered this morning if you had been a dream,” Nathan murmured, laughter edging his voice. “It was you last night, wasn’t it? On the roof? Wearing a skimpy blue towel?”

“The towel was yellow!” she corrected, stung for some reason. So much for an unforgettable experience.

He laughed. “You’re right. The other towel was blue. The one you so graciously gave to me.” He looked her up and down. “Anyway, my shirt becomes you even better than the towel did.”

Erin blinked and looked down at herself. She wasn’t wearing one of her nightgowns after all; she was still wearing Nathan’s shirt, the one he had dressed her in last night.

Heat flushed her cheeks. Her hands went to the buttons of the shirt, as if to return it right away, but her brain managed to stop them in time.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I still had that on,” she muttered. “You’ll get it back today.”

“No hurry. We really got off on the wrong foot last night. Maybe we should start over.”

She made a noncommittal sound. “You haven’t looked at me once. Did I frighten you last night? I’m sorry if I did.”

The man looked even better than his pictures.

Lifting her head, she forced herself to look at his face. Clinically, she ticked his features off one by one. Black hair with the faintest red highlights where the morning sun grazed it. Too long, for her conservative taste, curling towards his collar at the back. Strong chin and cheekbones, firm mouth, curved in what seemed to be a permanent half-smile. Laughter lines around his mouth and eyes. Gritting her teeth, she allowed their gazes to meet. Green eyes. Deep, vibrant green.

Better than the teasing shadow that had haunted her dreams last night.

No wonder that her dreams had revolved around him, she thought, glancing at the soft fabric of his shirt over her breasts. There was something intensely intimate about wearing a man’s shirt to bed.

Mentally she shook herself. Nathan had asked her a question several minutes ago. He might expect an answer.

“You didn’t frighten me,” she told him. “Of course I was scared at first, when I thought someone had broken into the house, but the rest was just embarrassing. I’d just like to forget all about it.”

What was embarrassing was her knowledge of that instant response to him, that pull of attraction towards a man she didn’t know but already disliked.

Nathan chuckled. “It was funny. As I recall, you found it funny too at the time. You almost fell off the roof laughing.” He extended a hand towards her. “Let’s start over. Hello, Erin. I’m Nathan. Nice to meet you.”

Charm on, full impulse, she thought sourly, looking into smiling green eyes filled with confidence and self-assurance. Well, it’s not going to work with me, buddy. I’m not one of your babes. I won’t succumb to that charm of yours again.

Reluctantly she shook his hand, feeling its warmth shoot up her arm with the speed of light. Irritated, she concentrated on her breakfast, answering his few attempts at conversation with one-syllable words. There was no reason to engage in small talk with him. Perhaps she was being rude, but better that than to embarrass herself again.

She put her cup down after finishing the last dregs of coffee and glanced up at the kitchen clock. It was almost eleven. Nathan had stayed almost double the allotted six hours. He would probably leave right after breakfast.

Perhaps she could manage to be civil just for another hour. For Sally’s sake.

Determined to do her best, she straightened up from her slouch and offered him more coffee. With a slight look of surprise, he accepted.

“Sally said you wouldn’t be staying long.”

Nathan took a sip of his coffee, then ran a hand through his hair. “Actually, I will be staying a while.”

“Oh,” she muttered. There must have been a change of plan. She might have to put up with him a bit longer. Without thinking, she sighed.

Nathan raised an eyebrow, the half-smile turning sardonic. “No need to sound as if your world is collapsing. There is room enough in this house for the two of us.”

“Are there no hot opportunities or babes awaiting you?”

He stared at her until she began squirming in her seat.

“You really dislike me, don’t you?” he asked at last. Erin thought his voice reflected boredom more than anything else. She bit her tongue to hold back the angry words, but they fought their way out anyway.

“I love Sally. She is my friend and my brother’s wife. I dislike it when people hurt her.”

Something flickered in his eyes. It could have been guilt or remorse, but she was more inclined to interpret it as irritation or even amusement.

“Has my sister said that I hurt her?”

“She doesn’t need to,” she snapped back. “It is obvious in her face every time she hopes that you will deign to come home and you don’t.”

“I see.”

“What kind of a man misses his own father’s funeral, for God’s sake?”

The outrage in her voice didn’t seem to affect him in the least. He sipped his coffee calmly and did not flinch from her incensed gaze. “I don’t know, Erin. What kind of a man does that and then comes home sporting perverted rabbits on his socks?”

Erin shook her head in disbelief. “Life is just one big joke to you, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely. An attitude I can heartily recommend. It’s the only way to keep your sanity in this world.” He gave her a small smile. “You’ve made your point. I’m an unfeeling bastard. Fine. Can we now agree to a truce while we’re sharing this house?”

“Just how long will you be staying, then?”

“A while.”

“How long is a ‘while’?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll be here at least until after Christmas.” Erin’s refilled cup almost didn’t survive the trip to the table, spilling precious drops on the white surface.

“After Christmas?”

“Yep.” He seemed unfazed by her obvious consternation, calmly mopping up the spilled coffee with a paper towel.

She groaned and hid her face in her hands. This was a disaster. She had been counting on having this time alone, to think things through and to make plans for the baby. She had taken time off this week, just for that purpose.

“I take it that’s a problem for you?”

“Sally said you would only stay the night,” she moaned. “If I’d known you were staying, I could have made other arrangements. I wouldn’t have sublet my apartment.”

The telephone on the wall rang and Erin answered it morosely, thinking that if he were a gentleman he would offer to move out and check into a hotel. After all, it was only a month until Thomas and Sally returned.

Right on cue, it was her sister-in-law, shouting through a tunnel of static, asking if her brother had arrived yet.

“I’m so glad you got to meet Nathan, Erin!” Enthusiasm all but bubbled out of the phone. “Isn’t he terrific?”

“I’m sure he is,” Erin replied diplomatically, and was rewarded by a prolonged long-distance monologue about Nathan’s virtues.

“Is he there? Can I talk to him for a minute?”

“Of course, I’ll get him. Give Thomas and Natalie a hug from me.”

Nathan hardly got a word in edgeways during the short conversation with his sister. His attempts consisted of a few words that were interrupted every time.

She smiled into her coffee. So even Nathan Chase succumbed to the charm of Sally’s bulldozer personality.

With a wry grin, Nathan handed her back the phone and her sister-in-law’s excited voice was again echoing in her ear.

“Hi again, Erin. I told Nathan you would look after him for me, show him around and stuff.”

Erin’s mouth fell open as her accusing gaze flew to Nathan. He shrugged and shook his head, then picked up the paper again and started reading.

“What? I can’t…”

“He’s never stopped in town for longer than a few hours; he hasn’t seen anything. Maybe you could also go to the theater or something. Anything you can think of.”

“I’m not…”

“I really appreciate it, Erin. I’m just devastated not to be home for my brother, but I know you’ll do everything you can for him…”

After a few moments of chatter, Sally hung up and Erin was left standing with her mouth open, holding the phone in one hand.

Nathan pretended to concentrate on his paper, while trying to control the grin fighting its way to his face. The other pawn in his sister’s game obviously had no clue about the stakes. He felt Erin’s stabbing gaze on the back of his head and it wasn’t hard to picture the fury clouding her delicate features. Apart from her giggles last night, she seemed to have a permanent scowl etched on her brow. Did the woman ever smile?

“Don’t worry, Erin,” he said without looking up. “Sally never needs to know that you didn’t play tour guide for me and I certainly don’t expect you to.”

“She’ll know,” Erin muttered, throwing herself back into her chair. “Sally always finds out things like that.”

He shrugged. “Fine. I’ll tell her I preferred to be on my own. She may even take the hint and not throw us together again.”

Erin’s head snapped up, brows drawn together. “Throw us together? What do you mean?”

He looked up, allowing the grin to surface. “What else?”

Her mouth hung open. “You mean she knew you would be staying longer and she deliberately didn’t tell me?”

He shrugged. “I’m afraid my sister fancies herself as something of a matchmaker.”

“Matchmaker?” With amusement he watched the emotions play across her face. “You mean she thought you and I…?” She sputtered. “What a ridiculous idea!” Nathan nodded. “Couldn’t agree more.” Knowing his reply had been less than flattering, he watched with amusement as relief flirted with bruised dignity in her expressive features.

“And you didn’t object to being sent here to play house with a total stranger?”

He shrugged again. “Why should I? I’ve shared a bed with fleas and dogs, I can share a house with a librarian.” He smiled faintly. “To tell you the truth, I thought you might make a nice change.”

Her hands clenched into fists, Erin jumped to her feet, anger flashing from her eyes, the soft fabric of his shirt rising and falling with her deep, indignant breaths. “Oh, did you? A nice change from fleas and dogs? Or did you mean a nice change from your babes? Is this the let’s seduce-the-librarian week? I am not a toy, I’m not a babe and I’m absolutely not a ‘nice change’!”

Nathan raised his hands in supplication. “I didn’t mean it like that, Erin! I certainly had no seduction plans. And would you please stop mentioning the word babes in every other sentence?”

She waited, hands on hips. “In what way did you mean it, then?”

He shrugged. “I simply meant I’d enjoy having some female company without having to flirt or play games. I thought we might enjoy some civil, polite conversation over cereal or TV dinners. Perhaps even play Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit.” He grinned at her. “You know, librarian stuff.”

“You don’t know anything about librarians.”

“I’m beginning to realize that. No glasses perched on that nose.” His gaze lifted to her hair. “And no bun this morning either.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” she muttered.

Nathan’s grin faded, leaving a lopsided smile. “Whatever else you are, Miss Librarian, you are certainly not a disappointment.”

The doorbell, combined with insistent knocking, interrupted any explanation of that cryptic remark. As Erin opened the front door after a brief glance through the peephole, two miniature redheads fought for a place in her arms. “Mom says you might take us swimming!” a piping voice yelled as Erin looked out to see a waving arm as her mother’s gray car sped away.

Inwardly she groaned, although she was careful not to let on to the twins that they were less than welcome. Her mother kept doing that. She loved her little brothers, and they stayed with her often, but Mom took blatant advantage of her protectiveness.

“Hey, guys!” She knelt down and hugged the five-year-olds. “How long do I get to keep you today?”

“Until tomorrow!” Samuel jumped up and down, trying to reach the coat-hanger. “Mom says that there’s plenty of room because Tom and Sally are away.”

Grinding her teeth, Erin forced a smile as she helped the boys hang up their jackets. She wouldn’t have minded having them staying this weekend, especially with Nathan in the house, but she would have appreciated being asked.

“Hello!” Nathan appeared in the kitchen door and smiled at the boys, then looked at Erin. “I can see the resemblance. Are they yours?”

“Noooo,” the twins said in unison. They were used to this question but it never failed to disgust them. “She’s not our mother, she’s our sister!” Daniel added.

The boys stared curiously at him.

“Are you Erin’s boyfriend?” Daniel asked. Nathan shook his head with a smile. “I’m afraid not.”

“Oh.” The child looked dejected. “Mom says we can’t have little brothers, but if Erin finds a boyfriend and gets married then we can have little nephews instead.”

“You already have a little niece,” Erin reminded her brothers. “Soon she’ll be old enough to play with you.”

“She’s a girl!” Samuel pointed out indignantly. “Do you have any boys?” he asked Nathan.

He shook his head. “No little boys and no little girls.”

“How come?”

“Well…I don’t have a wife, for one.”

“You should get one,” Samuel advised, looking very serious. “When girls become wives, then they are OK. You get to cuddle up to them in bed and everything.”

A corner of Nathan’s mouth twitched. “That is a bonus,” he agreed solemnly. “It can get lonely in bed.”

“Yes,” Daniel chimed in. “But if you don’t have a wife, you can snuggle up to a teddy instead. Do you have a teddy bear?”

“Well…no.”

Daniel nodded, his little face serious. “You should get a wife. They’re better. Sometimes they also make brownies.”

“You little chauvinist…” Erin muttered under her breath, grinning as Nathan fought to hold back his laughter. Losing interest in marriage counseling, the boys scampered off, heading for the small office, to Thomas’s computer.

“I didn’t know Tom had little brothers.”

“There is a lot you don’t know about this family,” Erin said, then bit her tongue. She would have to live with this man for a whole month. It wouldn’t do to keep attacking him the whole time. Softening her voice, she continued, “We also have a little sister on our father’s side. Her name is Alexandra and she is only three.”

“I see. And you have a twin sister, don’t you?”

She nodded. “Erika. She’s a lawyer.”

“Your parents must have been very young when they had the three of you.”

She nodded, then followed the boys into the office. Nathan followed her in, and the two little chauvinists pounced directly on him as a fellow computer patriot.

“Would you sit with them just five minutes while I get dressed?” she asked Nathan, reluctant to ask him for a favour, but not wanting to leave the boys alone with all the expensive equipment. Thomas had spent a great deal of time teaching his brothers how to play with his computer without damaging anything, and they were fast learners, but she didn’t quite trust them yet.

“Of course.” He smiled at the boys. “I bet there is a game or two you can show me, isn’t there?”

“Yeah!” the boys chorused with enthusiasm. “There is this one with demons and dragons where you have a sledgehammer…” One twin shushed the other and both glanced at Erin.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Nathan, just use your best judgment. Nothing too bloody.”

Smiling, Nathan lifted one boy up and sat down at the computer, holding him in his lap. “We’ll be fine. Don’t hurry on our account.”

Erin ran upstairs to her room. She replaced Nathan’s shirt with jeans and a white sweater, and brushed her hair. Her brothers had interrupted just in time, or she would probably have attacked Nathan again. And she shouldn’t: after all, what he did or did not do was none of her business. Somehow that man managed to push all her buttons. She wasn’t a confrontational type; in fact she had the opposite problem of avoiding conflict rather than facing it. Her temper had never matched the color of her hair, and she had always done her best to get along with people.

Nathan Chase was not going to change that. She was going to be polite and nice to him. He was family after all. He was right—it was none of her business how he spent his time. And it was not his fault that Sally had decided to make them live together. She could even forgive him for that conceited teasing last night. After all, the circumstances were bizarre and the man half-asleep.

She grabbed the shirt and headed for the washing machine, stuffing it inside before she succumbed to the temptation of holding it to her face and inhaling his scent. That shirt had already got her in enough trouble in dreamland. She paused, a bottle of detergent in her hand, reflecting on her feelings and not liking them one bit. She responded strongly to his presence, there was no denying that. Perhaps her anger worked to mask her attraction to him.

No.

She shook her head firmly and finished her chore. She did not want a man in her life at all, especially now. Even if she did, she reminded herself, he had made it clear he considered Sally’s matchmaking idea ridiculous. She ignored the small sting this thought cost. It was for the best. She would be friendly to Nathan, because he meant so much to Sally, she would stay out of his way, and soon all this would be over.

Soon she would have her baby.

The three males were engrossed in a flying simulator when she came back downstairs. Nathan looked briefly up and acknowledged her with a small smile, but did not seem to be in a hurry to get away. Quietly she sat down in the easy chair in the corner, watching them. The picture of Nathan playing with her two little brothers clashed with her mental image of the cold and aloof man who didn’t care enough to see his own niece.

“Tom is our big brother. He is a programmer,” Samuel boasted to Nathan while his brother had control of the joystick. “He tells the computers what to do. Can you do that?”

“Not as well as Tom, no. I’m a photographer. I take pictures.”

“You take pictures?” Daniel flew his plane over enemy territory, bombarding a fleet of ships below. He did not sound too impressed. “Just ordinary pictures?”

Nathan chuckled. “Yes. Just ordinary pictures.” Erin thought back to Sally’s scrapbooks, holding hundreds of clippings, all Nathan’s pictures from every corner of the globe. None of them could be called ordinary. Even in her own biased judgment, the quality of his work was indisputable. His photos were stark and unflinching, pulling the viewer in and not letting go until a point had been made.

“Can you do magic?”

She watched Nathan frown as he tried to follow the child’s train of thought. “Magic?”

“Mom took us to a photographer once. He did magic tricks. Mom said he did that to make us laugh.”

“I’m not that kind of a photographer.”

“What kind, then?”

“I take pictures for the newspapers,” Nathan explained. “Do you guys have a camera?”

The twins shook their heads.

He stood up and deposited one little boy back on the chair. “I’ll show you mine,” he said, returning a few minutes later with his camera bag. The boys abandoned the computer game and crowded around him as he opened it and showed them the different lenses and tools, even allowing them to handle the delicate equipment.

“Be careful!” she reminded the boys. “Nathan, they’re only kids. Don’t let them damage anything.”

To her amazement, the two hyperactive youngsters sat quietly and listened as Nathan explained in simple terms how the camera worked and how to take good pictures. Then he got two disposable cameras from his pack and gave one to each boy. “They’re even waterproof,” he told them with a smile. “If you’re going swimming with your sister, you can take pictures underwater.”

“Wow!” the boys echoed in unison. Erin grinned. Both boys loved the swimming pool, and she often took them there, but both balked at putting their heads underwater. She had a feeling that was about to change.

“I’m going to take one of Your Boyfriend,” Daniel yelled, running out of the room, followed by his brother. Their noisy footsteps echoed around the house as they trampled up the stairs.

“Your boyfriend? Your boyfriend is upstairs?” Nathan looked confused.

Erin chuckled. “Follow them and you’ll see.” Looking quizzically at her, Nathan strode upstairs, following the sound of the twins’ voices to her bedroom. She followed the crowd, finding the two boys up to their elbows in her fish tank, both pointing a camera at one of the two multicolored fishes swimming amidst swaying strands of greenery.

“Meet Your Boyfriend,” Erin said, pointing at the male fish with the huge, colorful tail. “And next to him, Your Girlfriend.”

“Interesting names.”

“It’s a long story. Originally they were called Romeo and Juliet. Then my sister began using Boyfriend and Girlfriend. That stuck, and the boys added the ‘Your’ to it. Don’t ask me why.”

“Are they Sally’s?”

The room had never seemed small to her, but it seemed to have shrunk with his presence. No matter where she was standing, he was too close for comfort. She moved back, attempting to put some distance between them, and finally opted for sitting on the bed.

“No, they’re mine. I couldn’t very well leave them at my flat. They’re my pets. But believe me, moving them was quite a challenge.”

Nathan leaned back, his elbows on the high window sill. He looked at her speculatively. “I’d have taken you as more of a cat person.”

“I am,” she confessed, “but I’m allergic to most animals, especially cats and dogs. If I indulge myself and scratch a feline for a second my face puffs up and I cry non-stop for the next hour.” She made a face. “I’d have thought conditioning kicked in and relieved you of the longing to cuddle a kitten when you have to suffer as a consequence.”

Nathan chuckled. “Allergies can be a pest.”

“Yes,” she agreed in a heartfelt tone. “Fortunately dust doesn’t bother me, for some reason. If it did I’d have a hard time working in a library.” She grinned sheepishly. “And I would have sneezed under your bed and given you the fright of your life.”

Nathan’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “That would have been terrible. We’d have missed all the fun!”

Erin looked away and opened her arms as one little boy maneuvered himself into her lap. “What were you doing under Uncle Nathan’s bed?” he demanded.

He was Uncle Nathan now? Some serious male bonding must have occurred while she had been getting dressed. Before she could come up with an explanation that would not reach her mother’s ears, Nathan came to her rescue.

“We were playing hide and seek,” he explained smoothly. Erin sent him a grateful look, but it went unnoticed as Nathan picked up a picture from the dresser.

“Is this Natalie?” he asked.

He didn’t even recognize the child.

Her softening attitude towards him hardened again and her voice was icy when she confirmed that the picture was of their niece. The changed tone of voice did not go unnoticed. He looked back at her, holding her gaze for several seconds. Then he shrugged and replaced the picture, smiling again.

“Well, I need to be going.” He glanced at his watch, then pushed himself from the window and ruffled each boy’s hair. “It was nice meeting you guys. Perhaps I’ll see you tonight. You too, Librarian,” he added with a grin, reaching out to tousle her hair too. She yanked her head back, and justice was served as he snatched his hand away at the sting of static electricity.

“Why don’t you make him your boyfriend?” Samuel asked, thankfully after Nathan had left the room.

“She can’t, stupid; people who are related can’t be boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Nathan and I aren’t related,” she told the boys. “Yes, you are.” Daniel looked very sure of himself. “See, Nathan is related to Natalie and Natalie is related to you, so he is related to you.”

“But Mom’s related to us and we’re related to Daddy and they’re married!” Samuel countered.

Erin grinned, pushing thoughts of Nathan and his family away. Logic lessons. Her favorite activity with the two growing minds.

Already it was dark outside. Nathan stretched out on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. He could hear the faint sounds of Erin and the boys upstairs as she got them ready for bed. The unfamiliar sounds of children’s voices and running water as the boys brushed their teeth reminded him of his own distant childhood. He frowned, dark brows coming together in a brooding line as old memories began eating at the barricades he had erected around himself for so long. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. There was no use in thinking back, no purpose in reliving things no one could change.

This was why he hadn’t been home in so long. Just being in his sister’s house brought back memories he had decided long ago were best left untouched. He’d believed they had lost the power to hurt him, but he’d been wrong. To look on the bright side, he thought wryly, at least the nightmares he’d been suffering hadn’t visited him last night. He might not like the fact that self-pitying thoughts about his childhood had erased the horrors he had witnessed on the job, but at least he had been able to sleep again.

With determination he forced his thoughts in another direction. By degrees, a smile began to warm his thoughts as they strayed to his reluctant housemate. She did think he was a complete bastard, he acknowledged with some regret, picturing the frost in her eyes when he had asked if the child in the picture was their niece. And she was probably right. He could have been more considerate of his sister’s needs, even if he did not share her desire for contact. Although he had had parents and a sister, he had never really been a part of the family. He had told himself that staying away was for the best, not only for him but also for his parents and his sister. His family had never fully known the dangers he faced and he had been happy to have that excuse not to allow them participation in his life. Even after their parents’ death, he had continued to convince himself that the lack of contact protected his sister from unnecessary worry. But perhaps he had inflicted hurt in its place.

Mentally he shrugged, pushing the regrets away. What’s done is done.

His eyes closed, he forced his thoughts again to more pleasant matters. His mouth curved into a grin as he pictured the delectable curve of bottom and thigh on the roof. The smile widened as his mind’s eye continued to replay the events of the previous night. The movement of her hair as she ripped the towel off her head and wordlessly ordered him to cover himself. The roundness of her breasts visible above her other towel.

He was deep into some very vivid illicit fantasies when a voice intruded.

“Nathan? Are you OK?”

Eyes flying open, he jumped guiltily to his feet. He shoved both hands through his hair and then carefully sat down again. Inwardly, he laughed at himself. Sure, he had been caught in a compromising situation before, but never alone.

She was standing in the doorway, looking at him with a frown of concern. “Are you ill? Do you have a fever? You look hot.”

A series of possible responses ran through Nathan’s mind, each one rejected by his stern super-ego.

Be nice, Nathan. She hasn’t seen the nice side of you yet. You can be nice, can’t you? You still remember how?

He cleared his throat. “I don’t think so, no. I just…uh…fell asleep…”

She nodded. “The boys are asleep too. At last.” She held up an oblong box. “I brought a peace offering.”

Nathan gritted his teeth as he ordered his body to ignore the way her breasts moved under her sweater as she lifted her arm.

“Peace offering?” he managed to ask.

“Scrabble. Want to play?”

Nathan laughed. “You bet, Librarian.” He winked. “Maybe you will make a nice change after all.”

She looked at him suspiciously for a moment, but then smiled, to his relief accepting his humor at face value.

She was a worthy opponent, matching his every move. It did not help that in order to keep his promise to himself, Nathan had to reject all the best words that by themselves formed in his mind and on his slate. At the moment he could think of three words that would send her into a fit, with good reason. Regretfully he threw his last letters on the board to win the game with the innocent word LACES.

Of course, he would have preferred seeing her reaction to some of the other words, but he was trying really hard to be a gentleman here. For now.

As if she’d read his mind, her eyes met his and their gazes locked for a few tension-filled moments.

Erin felt herself tremble as their eyes met. His face was intense, dark pupils wide, firm lips slightly apart. His whole body was tense as unspoken messages flew between them. She could read them easily, with her intellect and her mind as well as with her heart. Non-verbal communication, body language, this was her field, what she had specialized in during those long years studying anthropology. She knew his heart must be picking up speed, his hormone system sending messages to different organs, his senses open to receive her every signal. In short: all the same things that were happening in her own treacherous body.

She could not be misreading him. The attraction was mutual and strong. How could she be feeling this for a man she didn’t even like?

Throughout the day, he hadn’t made it easy for her to keep disliking him, she admitted to herself. With his humor and constant smile, his easy way with her brothers, he kept charming her off her pedestal. She had to work at it, constantly remind herself of the thoughtless and cold way he treated his family.

She shook her head and clenched her eyes shut for one second, breaking the mood. Ignoring what they both knew, she smiled politely at him as she put the letters away.

“You’re good. I’m not used to losing at Scrabble.” He held out his hand. “You’re a very worthy opponent, Erin.”

Erin took his hand and congratulated him. The warm pressure sent tingles up her arm until she pulled her hand away. But he had behaved. He hadn’t even made one dubious word during the game, and heaven knew that plenty of them had somehow arranged themselves on her own slate.

She hesitated. “I’d like to apologize for my outburst last night and this morning. I had no right to criticize you like that. It really is none of my business.”

Nathan folded the game and put it back into the box. “I was out of line too. I wasn’t exactly a gentleman last night.” He grinned at her. “I’m not used to finding half-naked librarians in my room at night. The devil in me took over.”

Why did the devil in him have to be so darn appealing?

“OK, pardons are granted all around,” she said breezily.

He held out his hand again. “Shall we shake on that?”

She hesitated a moment, then took his hand again, careful to slide her hand quickly out of his grasp again. Tingles once more. What was the man doing to her?

Nathan shifted his gaze from hers and out the window to the darkness beyond. “Actually, I’ve thought a lot about what you said,” he said quietly. “I didn’t realize Sally needed me. With the age difference we’ve never been close. She was only a child when I left home.”

“Neither of you have any other blood relatives,” Erin commented. “Apart from her daughter, you are her only living relative.”

He shrugged, his posture turning defensive and his voice distant. “I do fine on my own. Anyway, if I had known it meant so much to her, I would have tried to visit more often. I really didn’t know. The fact is, I hardly know my sister. We’re strangers to each other.”

Perhaps she had misjudged him. Perhaps not. She felt confused. He seemed contrite about having ignored his sister’s needs, but he sounded very cold stating that he did fine on his own. How could he have failed to realize that his sister might need him after their father’s sudden death?

“If you don’t care, then why did you come back now?”

He glanced at her. “Are you getting personal again?”

His voice was friendly enough, but Erin recognized the warning for what it was.

“Anyway, you may not have been close,” she said with hesitation, “but you are her older brother. Sisters tend to idolize older brothers.”

Nathan chuckled, warm light appearing in his eyes, that in itself convincing her that he loved his sister deeply. “She used to follow me around like a puppy. She even hid in my car once, but I made sure she never did that again.”

“You did?”

He frowned mockingly at her. “That’s a chilling tone of voice, Erin. I didn’t beat her. We had a serious discussion about privacy and safety, that’s it. I’m not a monster.”

“I never said you were. But…”

“Spit it out, Librarian.”

Erin squirmed. “You were right. It’s none of my business. But you’ve never even seen your little niece…” She let the question trail off.

“I look forward to seeing her,” Nathan replied after a short but loaded silence.

Erin didn’t push further. She stood up. “Well, I should be heading for bed. The boys will have me up at the crack of dawn. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” He smiled up at her, and she clenched her jaw as the sudden transformation of his face from serious to cheerful did wicked things to her insides. “See you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow came all too soon. Predictably, the twins woke her up at seven. Yawning off the dreams she refused to acknowledge she remembered in detail, she got up, fed them as quietly as possible so they wouldn’t disturb Nathan and was off to the indoor swimming pool by eight. As she had suspected, the lure of underwater pictures was enough to cure the twins of their fear of getting water in their faces.

The day passed quickly and they were home at four, just in time for their mother to arrive and pick the boys up.

“Thanks for having them,” her mother said, shooing the twins out to her car.

The boys were out of earshot. “I would appreciate it next time if you’d ask me first, Mom. I could have had other plans.”

“I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you watch your brothers once in a while,” her mother snapped. “After all the sacrifices I made for you kids. You know how important it is for me to keep the shop open on Sundays.”

Inwardly, Erin sighed. “I don’t mind having the boys over, you know that. I would just appreciate it if you’d call first, so I can be prepared. Sally’s brother just came into town yesterday, so I’m not alone in the house.”

“Oh?” Her mother’s interest was piqued. “The photographer? I’ve never met him. Perhaps I should say hello.”

“He’s not here now, but he’ll be staying a while. There will be plenty of time to meet him.”

“Will he be staying for Christmas? Perhaps he would like to come along with you kids.”

Erin’s stomach turned. This was it. The annual Christmas tug of war had begun. They had tried to be fair, to stay with each parent every other Christmas, but neither their mother nor their father could accept that, forcing their children to divide their time equally between the two households, but never making either one of them happy.

“Perhaps Thomas and Sally prefer to stay in their own home this time, as they have a visitor.”

“We’ll see,” her mother replied. “But you will be there, won’t you?”

The twins leaned on the car horn, saving Erin from having to reply. Her mother turned around and made an angry gesture at the car. “We’ll talk about this later, Erin. Thanks again.”

Erin waved to her brothers, then entered the house again. The place seemed so quiet after two days with a couple of noisy little boys. Walking around, she straightened out the mess they had made, then threw herself on the living-room couch. Children were a lot of work, but they were worth every minute. She could hardly wait until she had one of her own.

Tomorrow.

Her stomach clenched in nervous anticipation. Her whole life would change tomorrow.




CHAPTER THREE


HER palms were sweating. Her heart was racing.

And all she was doing was standing outside the clinic.

Resisting the urge to jump back into Sabrina, her faithful red car, drive home and crawl under something, she forced herself to look objectively at the building. It looked cold. All glass and white bricks, but much smaller than she had imagined. She had thought this place would be huge.

Admittedly, storage space in such a facility would not take up much room.

She sighed, breathing out a mushroom of crystallized air, and looked helplessly around. The shops would open in about half an hour, but the streets were still empty. She felt out of place standing there on the corner.

The appointment was half an hour away. She considered driving around, or taking a walk, but decided to go ahead and enter the building. They had to have a waiting room. It would give her a chance to get used to the place.

Squaring her shoulders, she ordered her heart to behave, and pushed open the glass door.

The lobby was silent. White marbled floor, white marbled walls. Large potted plants were the only decoration. Her heels clicking on the hard surface, she walked resolutely to the desk.

“Erin Avery. I have an appointment at ten.”

The receptionist couldn’t be more than twenty, a black-haired beauty with a wide smile.

“Welcome.” She turned to her computer and tapped on the keys. “You’re here for an orienting session, right?” 43

Erin drew her brows together and shrugged. “I suppose so. I’ve never been here before.”

“OK. Well, would you perhaps wait in there?” She pointed to an open door behind her. “I’ll be with you at ten precisely.”

Erin walked briskly to the waiting room, hoping to hide her anxiety. The chamber was small, but very different from the stark lobby. It was painted in soft blues and pink and children’s drawings decorated the walls. She slid into a pastel chair and took a deep calming breath. Her heart was still racing, and showing no signs of slowing down.

To look on the bright side, the waiting room was unoccupied. In her present state, the sight of other clients, or, God forbid, donors, would send her flying out of the nearest exit.

Small tables dotted the floor between the uncomfortable plastic chairs. She picked at random something to read and stared at the text without seeing it. It was difficult to believe that she was actually here. The appointment had been made weeks ago. She had noted it in her diary as “SB”, and then avoided thinking about it.

Why the anxiety? Why the pounding heart and the sinking feeling? This was what she wanted: this was the way to make her dream come true, her dream of an undivided family. Her dream of happiness. A child that would never be torn between bitterly feuding parents the way she and her brother and sister had been torn apart all their lives.

“Miss Avery?” Her eyes suddenly focused on the colorful pamphlet showing pictures of smiling women and couples holding their babies. “Follow me, please.” It was the young receptionist again. Erin followed her down the long corridor and was finally ushered into an office. To her surprise, the girl followed her inside and shut the door before sitting down at the desk.

Erin noticed she was still holding the pamphlet from the waiting room and stuffed it into a pocket before shrugging off her coat and sitting down. “I thought I would be seeing the doctor?”

The young woman smiled. “This is just preliminary work now. My job is to tell you all the facts and explain how you pick a donor, if that is still what you want. After that, we make a new appointment for you with the doctor. She will be able to answer any remaining questions.”

“I see.”

“OK…” The girl cleared her throat and shuffled some papers around the desk, looking almost as nervous as Erin was. With amusement that almost managed to distract her from her nerves, Erin realized that this was probably a first for both of them.

“Is this the first time you’ve done this?” she asked impulsively.

The girl flushed. “Yes. Our regular interviewer is off sick today.”

“I see.”

“But I’ve watched it many times,” she hastened to reassure Erin. “I really know what I’m doing.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Oh, and my name is Rachel Bond, by the way.” She pointed to the name tag on her blouse.

Rachel got to work, quickly explaining the procedure, but sounding as though she was reading the information aloud. Judging from her lack of eye contact, she probably was. Erin listened patiently. She had already done thorough research using the Internet and there was nothing new in the information presented to her.

Nevertheless, hearing the girl describe the process, using the word “you” in every other sentence, felt far closer—and far more frightening—than reading about it.

Rachel wrapped up her monologue, then fetched what looked like a questionnaire from a drawer.

“OK, next I will ask you some questions to help you determine what kind of a donor you are looking for.”

Erin nodded. The girl hesitated, flipped through the few pages and then finally began.

“Do you have specific preferences regarding donor characteristics?”

“Preferences?” Erin repeated hesitantly.

“Hair color, eye color, build, personality?”

She shook her head mutely.

“If you have a picture of the social father, we can try to match his looks.”

“Social father,” Erin muttered, testing the unfamiliar phrase. “No, there is no social father.”

“I see.” Rachel kept her voice neutral. “Will there be a second mother?”

“A second moth…?” Erin blinked in confusion, but finally caught on. “Er—no. Just me.”

“In that case, many single women prefer a donor whose looks match their own. That way, there is more of a chance that the child will look like their parent.”

Erin clenched and unclenched her hands. She was in way over her head. She hadn’t thought this far, hadn’t realized she could influence her child’s characteristics by choosing the particular donor.

The child would not be just hers, she realized for the first time. It never could be. Her child would have half of his or her genes from a stranger. Someone neither of them would ever know. If she had a son, he would never be able to look at his father and see himself reflected in some of his features. She would never have a husband whose features would be a mature version of the tiny sleeping face in the cradle.

Well, that is how you want it, isn’t it? she asked herself in annoyance. You want to do this alone.

“Who are these men?” she couldn’t help asking. “And why do they do this?”

“Most of them are students,” the girl replied. “And as to why they do it—there are different reasons. Some like to help infertile couples or single women. Some do it for the token fee they are paid.” She leaned forward, and lowered her voice. “If you ask me, a lot of them simply like the idea of a certain type of immortality—knowing that there may be dozens of their offspring roaming the earth.”

Erin tried to chuckle, but it came out like a groan. That explanation would fit in with man’s supposed innate desire to procreate. However, it was not what a potential mother wanted to hear. It looked as though Rachel had been sent out into the world without the necessary training in tactfulness.




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