A Forever Christmas
Missy Tippens
Sarah Radcliffe's quiet Christmas back in her hometown will be lost if she agrees to direct the church's Christmas pageant.But when she meets two little boys determined to gain their father's attention, Sarah agrees to help. Then she discovers that the dad in question is Gregory Jones, the man she loved and lost.The single dad is working himself to the bone to give his boys the Christmas of their dreams, when all they want is some family time. Time that includes a new mommy. If Sarah can learn to open her heart, she may receive the most wonderful present of all–a family of her own.
An old, familiar ache tried to work its way into Sarah’s chest.
She sure wished she could make Gregory see what his job was doing to his son, Hunter. Surely if he saw the effect, he would quit. Why waste time working for gifts that would mean nothing to the boy after the first five minutes? What was truly important was time with family. Because it could be taken away at any moment.
She looked at her calendar and counted dated blocks. Twelve days until Christmas Eve and their pageant.
Twelve days…An idea began to blossom.
She took a deep breath as she envisioned those empty blocks on her calendar and began to brainstorm ideas. But could she pull it off? It would take a lot of strength to spend that kind of time around Gregory.
Strength she might not have right now.
Gregory’s son’s sad, angry face flashed through her mind.
Yes, she had to do it. For Hunter.
MISSY TIPPENS
Born and raised in Kentucky, Missy met her very own hero when she headed off to grad school in Atlanta, Georgia. She promptly fell in love and hasn’t left Georgia since. She and her pastor husband have been married twenty-plus years now, and have been blessed with three wonderful children and an assortment of pets. Nowadays, in addition to her writing, she teaches as an adjunct instructor at a local technical college.
Missy is thankful to God that she’s been called to write stories of love and faith. After ten years of pursuing her dream of being published, she made her first sale of a full-length novel to the Steeple Hill Love Inspired line. She still pinches herself to see if it really happened!
Missy would love to hear from readers through her Web site, www.missytippens.com, or by e-mail at missytippens@aol.com. For those with no Internet access, you can reach her c/o Steeple Hill Books, 233 Broadway, Suite 1001, New York, NY 10279.
A Forever Christmas
Missy Tippens
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so
great is His love for those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
— Psalms 103:11–12
To my sister, Mindy Conley Winningham,
for forgiving all the mean big-sister things I did throughout our childhood and for being
my friend anyway.
To God, for giving me the stories and for allowing me
a career doing something I love so much.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to Michael House, Robyn Fogarty and Debra Marvin for research assistance.
I’m grateful to Margaret Daley and Camy Tang for your help and support.
A big thank-you to the members of the Faith, Hope, and Love Chapter for sharing your knowledge when I have questions.
I love and appreciate my sisters in Christ from the F.A.I.T.H. blog and the Seekerville blog. You make me look forward to getting online each and every day.
Maureen Hardegree, grammar queen, thank you for always answering your phone!
A special thank-you to Emily Rodmell for always going above and beyond in helping me make the book the best it can be.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Questions for Discussion
Chapter One
S arah Radcliffe forced one foot in front of the other, up the front steps of her parents’ church—her childhood church home—with her insides churning. She’d come as a favor for her friend, Donna Rae Durante. And though it wasn’t time for a worship service, she really didn’t want to go inside. She’d been angry with God for weeks. Hadn’t been able to bring herself to even enter a church building.
Which was sad, because normally, walking inside gave comfort—a feeling of warmth, of peace. All of which she really needed at the moment.
But instead, the pervasive grayness wrapped around her as she took the last step leading to the church door. The cold December wind gusted as she flung it open. A cacophony assaulted her ears, reminding her of the school hallways at the end of the day. She entered the sanctuary, and saw kids swarming all over the place, yelling and laughing.
All except for a little boy over to the side, taking it all in. Her heart immediately hurt.
The boy’s straight, dark hair reminded her of her former student, Peter, but she closed off the line of thought before it got out of hand.
“Oh, Sarah, I’m so glad you came!” Donna Rae hollered from where she sat on the front pew.
Sarah waved and proceeded down the center aisle. A carrot-topped little boy zoomed across and almost tripped her.
“Sowwy,” he called, then continued on his race.
Donna Rae stood and hugged her. “You’re such a lifesaver.”
“It’s great to see you, Donna Rae.” She glanced down at her friend’s very pregnant belly. “You look fantastic. As usual.”
Donna Rae rubbed her protruding abdomen, and worry furrowed her brow. “I’m feeling pretty good, too. But I’m swelling, and the doctor is worried about my blood pressure. Didn’t have any trouble on the first four kids.”
“I’m sorry. Anything I can do to help?”
She cackled. “Oh, boy, is there. That’s why I asked you to meet me here.”
From the looks of things—boxes of costumes lying off to the sides of the church and pieces of the set for their annual Christmas pageant—she suspected Donna Rae was fishing for volunteers to help with the play. “Uh-oh. I’m afraid I’m going to regret my offer.”
“Come over here. I need to stay off my feet.” She grabbed Sarah’s hand and pulled her down on the pew beside her. “As you can tell, I’m the director of the pageant this year. And I’m finding out just how much Lindsay Jones Wellington always did around this place.”
“Mother told me she got married and moved to Boston.”
“Yes.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “She and Bill held hands around The Forever Tree, you know.”
How could she forget the local legend that said a couple who holds hands around the tree would have forever love? “Yes, I’d heard that.” Sarah’s breathing stuttered as she remembered the time she’d held hands around the tree. With Gregory Jones.
I’ll love you forever, no matter what happens, he’d said to her as they circled the huge pecan tree in the park in downtown Magnolia, Georgia. She’d been so young. So trusting.
So naive.
“Well, I’ve been trying to fill Lindsay’s shoes,” Donna Rae said. “And I’m afraid it wouldn’t be possible in even the best of circumstances. And now my doctor is talking about putting me on bed rest.”
Sarah shook off the remnants of her trip down memory lane. “What?”
“I’m showing signs of preeclampsia. The doc said to get my life in order. He’ll probably stick me on bed rest till the baby comes.”
“Oh, no, Donna Rae. Is the baby okay?”
“She’s fine. It’s just a precaution. I’ve asked five different people to take over for me, and although they all said they would help, not a one would agree to head it up. When I heard you were back in town, I knew you’d be perfect.”
Sarah took a deep breath.
“Oh, please say you’ll do it. You have so much experience with kids.”
The dark-haired boy caught her eye once again, as if she had radar for detecting lonely children. “Honestly, I don’t know if I can handle being around kids right now. I’m home because one of my kindergartners passed away from cancer, and they closed school early for the holidays.”
“Oh, you poor thing.” Donna Rae wrapped her arms around Sarah again. “Well, you can think about it before making a decision. My last resort is to ask Bea Kennedy to do it.”
“Do you think she could handle it?”
“Well, she’s working with kids at the community center now.”
Guilt gnawed at Sarah. Would she make a woman in her eighties take over just because it was painful for herself to be around children?
Her gaze darted to the quiet boy again.
She was home from Nashville for the holidays with absolutely nothing to do. And her parents had more social engagements than she could shake a stick at—none of which interested her. How could she refuse Donna Rae? Surely she could find several volunteers to help her. Maybe it would help her to heal. She took another deep breath. “I’ll do it.”
Donna Rae grabbed her in a huge bear hug. “Bless you!”
Sarah looked around the room at the children playing in pairs or small groups. A couple of teenagers had come in and seemed to be helping corral them. The quiet little boy was still off by himself, his face the picture of misery. “Why isn’t that boy playing?”
“He’s having a tough time with Lindsay’s marriage and move.” She leaned in closer as if watching Sarah for a reaction. “That’s Hunter Jones.”
Sarah tried not to let the shock show, but she knew she couldn’t hide the surge of emotion battering her already-tender heart. “Gregory and Delia’s son,” she whispered. “I haven’t seen him since he was a baby.” Since the time she came home for a visit and Delia brought the baby over to show him off. Of course, that was before she abandoned him a year later.
“He’s five now. And the energetic little angel with the bright red hair is Chase Jones, who’s four.”
The cute little one who’d nearly run her down when she came in?
“I don’t think Delia has any contact with them anymore,” Donna Rae whispered behind her hand.
“I’ve heard that. I just can’t believe it.”
“The boys really miss their Aunt Lindsay. She’d been their mother figure pretty much since Chase was born. Now Gregory has to do everything.”
Sarah pressed her hand to her chest. This wasn’t going to be easy. How could she not be over Gregory’s betrayal even after so many years? The stuffy sanctuary closed in, forcing her to breathe deeply. “Do you mind if I step outside for a minute?”
“Sure, take your time.” Donna Rae pointed to the pile of halos in the pew beside her. “I still need to get these untangled and bent back into shape.”
“Thanks, Donna Rae.” She wanted to race up the aisle but instead controlled her pace.
She could do this. Pouring herself into the pageant might help to take her mind off Peter’s death. Might help her climb up out of the smothering grief. She’d just take it one step at a time.
As she reached out to grab the door, it swung open.
And she stood toe to toe with six feet of ruggedly handsome man.
The last person she wanted to see right now.
She froze.
He didn’t move either, except for his dark blue eyes, which blinked, then widened. “Sarah.”
The way he said it, so deep and raspy…so familiar…sent her stomach on a nosedive to her feet and back. “Hi, Gregory.”
Gregory could not believe he was face to face with Sarah Radcliffe. He’d done well to avoid her through the years on her rare trips home.
And now he’d practically run into her. The closest they’d been in a decade.
“Are you in town for the holidays?” he asked.
“We, uh…yes, school got out earlier than usual this year. So I decided to do Christmas here instead of in Nashville.” She gestured to the sanctuary, her hands all fluttery like a nervous bird. “And now Donna Rae has asked me to take over as director of the pageant.”
He studied her for a couple of seconds, stunned by the news, yet trying to hold his stiff smile in place. “Oh. That’s…nice.”
He tried his best not to stare. To act as if it were no big deal to see her again. But he couldn’t help it. Beyond all reason, she was even more beautiful at thirty-two than she’d been as a teenager. Her hair was still long and blond, her eyes that warm, light brown. He had once thought they seemed to have light behind them.
He used to wonder if God gave her that glow. Used to resent it at the same time he wanted it.
But now, the light wasn’t there. She seemed…sad.
“Gregory, what are you doing back so soon?” Donna Rae asked as she lumbered up the aisle.
He slowly dragged his attention to Donna Rae. “I’m actually here to beg you for a favor.” He held up two car booster seats, one in each hand. “Can you take the boys to my dad’s house after rehearsal? I just got a call to meet a potential client and won’t be back in time.”
“Sure. Just put the seats in my car for me.”
“Thanks. I owe you one.” He scanned the room for his boys. Chase was fine, playing with friends. But Hunter sat alone. It killed him to see his son so unhappy.
Donna Rae shooed him out. “Go ahead. We’ll take care of him.”
He glanced at Sarah, then nodded, his mind racing.
Sarah Radcliffe. Here in Magnolia.
Directing the Christmas play.
Unbelievable.
As he installed the booster seats and then drove to his meeting, he tried not to think about her or the sadness clinging to her.
They’d had such a roller-coaster past. He’d been crazy about her from the moment he laid eyes on her. He’d had big plans, including marriage. But then she’d dumped him—because her judgmental parents had thought he wasn’t good enough for their little princess.
She had no idea what that rejection had done to him.
And then there had been all that stuff with her dad. Gregory still prayed no one would find out about it.
But he couldn’t dwell on it. He had work to do. He padlocked all thoughts of Sarah. Relegated them to the painful past. The better-left-unopened past.
Before Sarah could fully comprehend that Gregory had been there, he was gone, leaving a vacuum that wanted to suck her out the door after him.
But then, it had always been like that between them. He was every bit as gorgeous today as he had been the first day of her sophomore year in high school, the day he, a senior, first noticed her and leaned against her locker to talk. Blue eyes twinkling. Turning on that bad boy charm. He’d been like some kind of powerful magnet, and she hadn’t stood a chance.
But she’d grown up. At thirty-two, she was a far cry from that starry-eyed teenager. She was much wiser, with lots of experience under her belt. No way would she fall for his charm again. Besides, he didn’t look quite so confident now that he had responsibilities—a business to run and children to care for. “So does Gregory still have his landscaping business?” she asked Donna Rae.
She nodded. “Yeah. But I just hate all the hours he works.”
“I imagine it’s slowing some for the winter.”
“You’d think it would. But he seems to always be full throttle no matter the season. And with this being his first Christmas to do everything without Lindsay, he’s putting pressure on himself to make it the best Christmas ever.”
Sarah could see the worry on Donna Rae’s face, could hear it in her voice. As she looked across the sanctuary at Hunter, sitting by himself on a pew, she wondered how Gregory would be able to do it all. And wondered what kind of man he’d grown up to be.
She couldn’t shake thoughts of him as Donna Rae gathered the children and led them through the rehearsal. Distracted and scattered, Sarah started when Donna Rae introduced her as the new director.
The precious four-to-six-year-olds stared up at her expectantly. A few even clapped, so she waved to them. “Thank you. I used to be in the Christmas play when I was a child, so I know we’re going to have a good time together.”
Donna Rae sat down, and Sarah could see she was in pain. Donna Rae waved her away when she tried to help. “I’m fine. Just a contraction. Go ahead and hand out the schedule.”
All eyes were on Sarah. It was the first time she’d been around children since Peter’s funeral, and she found it difficult to go on. But she had to. Too late to back out now.
When she finished passing out the papers, she said, “Well, I see some parents gathering in the back. So I guess it’s time to go. I’ll see you at the next practice.”
Though it demanded more energy than Sarah had at the moment, she made a point to meet each parent. As stragglers arrived late to pick up their children, she kept a close watch on Donna Rae. “Do you want me to call the doctor?”
“No. Really, I’m fine. But I probably need to go on home and put my feet up. Make Vinny pamper me.” She smiled, but it was tinged with worry.
“Go.”
“Can you take Hunter and Chase to Harry’s house for me?”
Gregory’s father wouldn’t hold any fond memories of Sarah. She dreaded facing him. “Of course. I’ll walk you to your car and get their seats.” She knelt in front of Hunter and Chase. “I’m Miss Sarah, and I’m going to give you a ride to your granddad’s.”
“Let’s go, boys,” Donna Rae said as they turned off the lights and headed out the door.
Hunter followed obediently, but he didn’t appear happy. Sarah couldn’t help but wonder if he was angry about something. In contrast, Chase slipped his little hand into Sarah’s and looked up, his sweet cherub face all smiles. He chattered a mile a minute, with a lisp that seemed to be caused by his chubby cheeks, as they walked to her car and installed the seats.
When she and the boys arrived at the Jones house, Chase raced ahead. Sarah, even weighed down by the car seats, had to slow to wait for Hunter, who dragged his feet as if they were in blocks of cement.
She kind of felt the same way having to face Harry Jones.
Two hours ago, she couldn’t have imagined this turn of events even in her wildest dreams.
“Hunter, do you think you could carry your booster seat for me?”
He nodded, then he wrapped his arms around it and picked up the pace a little.
“So, it must be fun to get to stay with your grandfather,” she said.
He shrugged. “I guess so.”
“You don’t sound excited about it.”
Hunter shook his head. “I wish Dad could pick us up.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Huwwy up,” Chase called from the front door before he disappeared inside.
A few seconds later, Harry appeared on the front porch. But he jerked back a step when he saw her. “Sarah?”
She tensed and forced her leaded feet forward. “Hello, Mr. Jones. I’m helping Donna Rae with the pageant, and she wasn’t feeling well. She asked me to bring Hunter and Chase by.”
“I appreciate it.” He didn’t look too thrilled, but he was the consummate Southern gentleman.
Not only had her parents objected to Gregory and her dating in high school, but Harry had also discouraged it. He had told Gregory from the beginning not to fall for Sarah, that he would be setting himself up to get hurt.
The relationship hadn’t stood a chance.
“Well, I should go.” She handed Chase’s seat over, then squatted down to Hunter’s eye level. “I’ll see you at the next rehearsal, okay?”
He shuffled his feet. “I guess.”
Chase ran out the door and hugged her neck. “’Bye.”
“’Bye.” The pressure in her chest sent her quickly toward her car. She needed to back off a little. Getting involved with Gregory’s kids was not a good idea. Her heart couldn’t take it.
After dropping the boys off, Sarah walked into her parents’ home. She could almost still feel Chase’s tiny arms around her neck from where he’d hugged her goodbye—a gesture so sweet it was almost painful.
Harry had been polite, if a bit cool. But she couldn’t blame a protective father.
“I’m home,” she called, then located her mother and father in the family room, sitting by the fireplace reading. Even with the fire, the room had never felt warm to her. The huge old house had always seemed drafty and a little empty.
“That took a while. What did Donna Rae need?” her mom asked.
She plunked down in an oversized leather chair, her favorite spot to curl up and read whenever she came home. “She’s had a complication with her pregnancy and will probably be put on bed rest.”
“I hope the baby’s okay,” her dad said.
“Yes. But she recruited me to take over the Christmas pageant.”
Her mother put her book face down on her lap and appeared distressed. “Oh, sweetie, can you handle that right now, so soon after Peter’s death?”
As long as she remained strong where Gregory’s boys were concerned. “I’m going to give it a try.”
“Well, I think it’ll be good for you.” Her dad folded the newspaper. “It’ll get you out of the house. Take your mind off the boy. You need to get over him.”
As if she could just snap her fingers and be all better. “There’s a little boy at church who reminds me of Peter.” She steeled herself. Her parents wouldn’t want her near anyone connected to Gregory.
“Who?” her mother asked.
“Hunter Jones.”
As expected, her dad scowled. “You don’t need to be around that man or his family. Call Donna Rae and decline.”
“Winston, she’s already agreed to help,” Katherine said. Then she turned back to Sarah. “Just be careful, dear. Gregory always did seem to hold some special power over you, and you’re still so vulnerable.”
Sarah looked at her dad. “That was years ago. We’ve both moved on. It sounds like he’s been very busy. I guess his business has been doing well?”
He rose, set the paper aside with a slap. “I don’t keep tabs on Gregory Jones.” He walked out of the room.
She looked at her mom with a raised brow.
“There’s no love lost between the two of them.”
“Dad never has forgiven him for hurting me.”
Katherine stood and patted Sarah’s cheek. “Neither of us could ever stand to see you in pain. So be careful.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Well, keep your distance. Simply put the play together, and then back away. You’ll be back in Nashville soon enough.”
Yes, Sarah decided. She could do that. She could direct the pageant and return to her normal life. But she doubted the look on Hunter’s face would ever leave her.
Chapter Two
A t nine o’clock that night, Gregory headed toward home. He parked in his driveway, then made his way across the street to his dad’s. He slipped quietly into the house.
His father was snoozing in the recliner with the television turned down low. Gregory touched his shoulder. “Dad. I’m here.”
Harry jumped. Then he rubbed his hand over his face, brushing against whiskers. “Chase cried for his Aunt Lindsay again tonight. And then for you right before he fell asleep.”
“I’m sorry to put you through that again.”
“You need to be home at night, son. No need to work yourself to death.”
“I don’t want to miss out on a potential new customer. I’m trying my best to keep my seasonal workers busy through the winter. Or at least through Christmas.” And he needed to grow his business to be able to buy a bigger house before the boys were grown and walking all over each other. And so each could have his own bedroom.
And then there was the fact that he wanted to provide a perfect Christmas so maybe Hunter and Chase wouldn’t be so upset by Lindsay’s absence this year. “It’s just hard right now because they still miss Lindsay. They’ll adjust.”
“You know, son, it’s past time to move on and start dating. Molly Patton seems to be interested, and those boys need a mother.”
“Dad…”
He waved and headed toward his room. “Think about it.”
Gregory slipped into his old bedroom and found Hunter and Chase huddled in the bed, Hunter on his side in the fetal position, Chase plastered up against Hunter’s back as if he’d snuggled there for comfort.
That certainly didn’t help with the guilt.
He picked up Chase, then nudged Hunter awake. Hunter usually complied, then didn’t even remember it in the morning. But this time he seemed more alert as he followed Gregory down the hallway.
“Where have you been, Daddy?” Daddy. He never called Gregory that unless he was upset or scared.
“I had a late meeting.”
“But I don’t want to have to wake up and move to my bed,” he whined.
He wished the boys could be at home every night. But he hated to ask his dad to come there. He was already imposing by asking him to babysit so often. “I’ll see what I can work out with Granddad.”
When they got to their house, a shivering Hunter threw off his jacket and fell into bed. He started to doze almost immediately. Chase cried when Gregory laid him down in his own twin bed, so he took him and put him in Hunter’s bed, where he slept every night, anyway. Then Gregory watched as the two settled in.
Keeping up this kind of pace wasn’t easy. He was worn out after twelve hours on the job. But it would be worth it to see the look on the boys’ faces on Christmas morning when they discovered the new game system, then looked outside and saw the huge trampoline—the exact one they’d circled in the toy store wish book.
He’d make it up to them by providing his sons with the best Christmas ever.
The next day, Sarah’s father left early for the office, and her mother tried to persuade her to attend a luncheon at the country club with her. Sarah had no desire to go, smile and make small talk with a group of her mother’s friends, so she declined. Instead, she ate a quiet lunch alone in the echoingly empty house. She didn’t so much mind being alone. But she had to battle her thoughts. About Peter. About his parents and their regret.
About Gregory…and Delia.
Delia had been two years older than Sarah, more mature, more experienced. Her father had been in the same firm as Sarah’s dad, so they’d grown up together at parties and social functions. They’d even spent the night at each other’s houses a few times.
And Delia had always had a thing for Gregory. She said she liked to go after guys who drove her dad crazy. Guys who presented a challenge.
Gregory had told Sarah he loved her. But apparently, love hadn’t been enough. Because when she’d broken off the relationship and asked him to wait until she graduated and finished college, he’d ignored her plea and moved on. Then within a few short weeks, he’d been dating her supposed friend—seriously.
Very seriously.
Seriously enough that he and Delia were forced to get married right after they graduated, because she was pregnant.
Recalling it made Sarah sick. Still to this day.
And then when Gregory and Delia lost that baby, Sarah wondered if she’d lied about the pregnancy to trap him. But somewhere through the years, Sarah concluded the suspicion had been a way to try to ease the sting of rejection. She’d asked him to wait for her, but he’d chosen Delia, plain and simple.
Not pleasant memories, so she puttered around the house trying to forget, wondering how she was going to fill her day.
The phone rang. “Hello?”
“Well, it’s official. I’m stuck on the couch until this baby gets here,” said Donna Rae.
“Is everything okay otherwise?”
“Yes, so far. But I promised the doc I would be good. Vinny’s trying to farm out the younger kids for me during the day.”
“Let me know if I can help.”
“Well, you can. I was supposed to go to a meeting at the church tonight as director of the play. Seven o’clock. Can you go and be me?”
“Of course. What do I need to do?”
“Just tell them about our progress. Let them know if there’s anything you need for the lighting and sound. And give them a copy of the rehearsal schedule so they’ll know when you’ll be at the church.”
“You’ve got it.” She’d have to sit down and come up with a plan. “Maybe I can go over early to look at what’s available for sets.”
“They’re in the basement storage closet. The custodian will help with setting up the stage area. Oh, and call Gregory if you need anything made. He’s pretty handy with tools.”
Her heart fluttered. “Okay.”
“Thanks a million. I really owe you.”
As soon as they hung up, Sarah grabbed a notebook and her copy of the script. Maybe she could put some sort of new twist on the play this year. For variety.
The one thing she wasn’t going to do, though, was ask Gregory to build any props.
That evening, Gregory whipped into the church parking lot and nabbed the closest spot to the back door. “Come on, boys. Hop out. I’m late for the meeting.”
“Do we have to come?” Hunter asked.
“Yes, you do. I’m sorry, but Granddad is on this committee, too.”
“I’m hungwy,” Chase said in a pitiful little voice.
They’d come straight from the day care center where Chase spent each day and Hunter went after school. Why hadn’t Gregory thought to bring a snack? His sister would have. “Hang in there, guys. We’re going to eat dinner as soon as we finish.”
Work boots and two pairs of tennis shoes clomped and squeaked down the long hallway. When they reached the door, he held his finger in front of his mouth to quiet them. Then he stuck his head in the door to see how badly they were interrupting.
Sarah—handing out papers?
“Come on in, Gregory,” Pastor Eddie said. “Sarah was just telling us about the Christmas pageant.”
She stood motionless as if shocked to see him, then all of a sudden jerked into motion and continued distributing papers.
He walked in with Hunter and Chase in tow. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to get a babysitter.”
“It’s okay. Come on in, boys,” Pastor Eddie said. “There’s a box of crayons and some paper over there on that table.”
Gregory smiled his thanks. And thanked God for crayons.
He ducked into a chair as he watched the boys get settled across the room. Sarah started to place a sheet of paper on the table in front of him, but it slipped off, and they both reached for it. Their hands touched, and it was like a shockwave streaked from his hand to his heart.
She looked into his eyes for a split second and appeared alarmed. “Oops. I’m sorry,” she said as she handed him the paper and moved on.
She was still in his space, though. Smelling as good as she always had. In fact, she might wear the exact same perfume she did in high school. Clean, fresh…classy.
His mind made a lightning flash trip back to high school. Sarah in his arms…Sarah in his car, scooted up beside him…
Sarah dumping him.
Yeah, that was the sticking point. She’d said she wanted to break up because he didn’t understand her goals. But he knew the real reason was because she’d let her parents get to her. And that because he wanted to stay in Magnolia and start his own business, he wasn’t good enough for her.
She continued with her presentation about the pageant. But he barely heard a word until she moved away from him.
Once she reached the other side of the room, he came back to his senses and noticed her smile at his sons.
Hunter dropped a crayon.
Sarah picked it up without missing a beat. Just kept talking about sets and lights. Like any good kindergarten teacher could do.
“Miss Sawah, I’m hungwy,” Chase said as he continued to scribble on the page, forgetting where he was and seeming to think he was in her classroom.
She looked over at Gregory, expecting him to produce a snack.
“I’m sorry, son. We’ll get you something as soon as we’re through.”
Sarah quickly finished up and asked for any questions.
“We really appreciate you taking over for Donna Rae,” Pastor Eddie said. “Especially during your vacation.”
“I’m sure I’ll enjoy working with the children.”
“Well, let’s move on to the next item on our agenda. Sarah, there’s no need to keep you. You’re free to go.”
Hunter raised his hand like he would do at school. “Can I leave, too?”
All the adults around the table chuckled.
Gregory’s dad raised his brows and looked a little concerned that the boys were starting to get vocal. Not a good sign.
“Maybe I should go,” Gregory said.
“No, stay,” Sarah said. “I don’t mind taking them to the kitchen and seeing if we can find a snack.”
Before he could say no thanks, Pastor Eddie said, “That’s a nice offer. We won’t be much longer. And I’m sure it would help Gregory.”
He didn’t want to look at her. He nodded his gratitude as he wondered what she thought of him bringing children to a meeting with empty stomachs.
She gathered a bundle of crayons and stack of paper and placed them in her leather bag. Then she reached out a hand for each of the boys. Chase hurried to take her up on the offer. He grabbed her hand and grinned up at her. It hurt Gregory to see his eagerness.
Hunter, on the other hand, didn’t get up. He heaved a sigh and looked at Gregory as if he’d let him down once again. Gregory nodded his head toward Sarah, so Hunter followed her obediently. But he rejected her hand and shoved his into his pockets. Chase’s chatter faded as they squeaked down the hallway toward the church kitchen.
Assuming the boys already had dinner, Sarah searched through the cabinets until she found two unopened boxes of cookies. “Chocolate chip or oatmeal and raisin?”
“Chocolate chip!” Chase answered as he danced around the kitchen, hopping from one foot to the other.
Hunter, who’d been dragging along behind her, seemed to perk up. “Cool. We get cookies for dinner?”
Dinner? “You haven’t eaten yet?”
“No. Dad was late picking us up again.” He sighed, and it occurred to her that he seemed to sigh a lot more than a typical child.
She couldn’t help wondering what was going on. Could it all stem from Lindsay’s absence?
She pointed to a table in the fellowship hall. “Come on. Cookies will be your appetizer tonight. And if your dad doesn’t like it, we’ll tell him it was my fault.”
Chase giggled.
Hunter looked at her as if he didn’t know what to make of her.
She settled them at the table and gave them each two cookies. Enough to hold them over, but hopefully not enough to spoil their appetites. She couldn’t find any drinks other than expired juice, so she got them each a cup of water.
How could Gregory not plan better? They wouldn’t get dinner until after eight o’clock.
Once they’d started on their second cookies, she sat beside Chase. “So, Hunter, are you in kindergarten?”
He nodded.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Chase, where do you go while your daddy works?”
“Day care,” he said, blowing crumbs out of his mouth. “And Hunter comes, too.”
“After school,” big brother added.
“I see.” She watched as they finished eating. Then the silence became awkward. For her, anyway. “Guess what my job is.”
Hunter shrugged.
“Ummm…teacher!” Chase hollered.
“How did you guess?”
He climbed into her lap and knelt so that he was face-to-face with her. “Because you’re nice like my teacher.”
Sarah’s bruised heart gave a quick stutter. Then she couldn’t help brushing a piece of cookie off his cheek. “You’re absolutely right.” She looked around Chase to catch Hunter’s eye. “I teach kindergarten.”
“Cool,” he said without much enthusiasm. “When will Dad be here?”
Her heart sank. For some reason, she wanted badly to connect with him. “Well, I don’t know. Soon, I’m sure.”
Chase settled into a sitting position in her lap. His carrot-colored curls brushed her chin, tickling, so she smoothed his hair.
“Here, I brought the crayons.” She pulled the supplies out of her bag and divided them between the boys.
Chase jumped right in and started to color. Hunter simply stared toward the door, waiting.
A few minutes later, voices sounded in the distance making her stomach do a dance of nerves. She glanced at Hunter, and it seemed he’d heard too. He sat up straighter. Watching.
A moment later, Gregory filled the doorway. His gaze zoomed straight to hers.
“Boys,” he barked. “Time to go.”
Hunter bolted as if his dad’s voice had shot him out of a gun. He hurried over and glued himself to Gregory’s side.
Chase nuzzled closer to Sarah. “Hey, Dad, Miss Sawah gave us cookies!”
“I hope you told her thank you.”
“Thank you,” he said, looking up at her with his gorgeous blue eyes, so much like his dad’s.
“You’re welcome.”
Gregory nudged his oldest son. “Hunter?”
“Thank you for the cookies.”
“You’re welcome.”
Chase still didn’t seem inclined to leave, so she set him on his feet. He turned and gave her a quick hug before running across to join his family.
“I appreciate your help,” Gregory ground out as if every word cost him.
Would they ever be able to get over their past?
She watched as they walked away. Sometimes relationships were too complicated, too painful to move beyond.
Friday was nothing but frustration for Gregory. First, he had to run a new blower out to one crew. No sooner had he gotten the broken one back to the shop, than the other crew called about a broken down trimmer. Then a customer complained, so he had to ride by and check that out, to see what kind of job the guys had done.
Sure enough, they’d forgotten to mulch the back of the bank.
He didn’t want to lose the bank’s account, so he got on the phone to talk to the crew and tell them to go back and finish. Then he followed up by doing a ride through to check all their jobs for the day.
Once everything checked out, he finally had time to hit the two job bids he’d planned to do that afternoon. But he was behind.
He dialed his dad.
“Can you pick up the boys for me? I really can’t be late again this week.”
“Sure. How about we meet you at Minnie’s for dinner?”
“Thanks, Dad. I owe you.”
“You know, I’d be glad to babysit anytime you plan a date.”
“Yeah, yeah. Keep wishing.”
“It’s time.”
He refused to have this conversation again. “See you at Minnie’s,” he said and disconnected the call.
Why wasn’t he ready to date again? Surely he wasn’t normal. Didn’t most men remarry pretty quickly after losing a wife or after divorce? And even though his wife had deserted him, it had been four years. Surely that was long enough to heal and to move on.
But for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to take that step.
Maybe it was the pool of eligible women. There wasn’t a soul in town who appealed to him. Although Molly had made it clear she was interested.
She was a gorgeous woman. Sweet. Fun. Talented. Would make a great mom. Why didn’t he jump at the chance?
Sarah’s face flashed through his mind. Just like it always did when he let himself think about women. No one ever seemed to measure up to his high school sweetheart.
No wonder he didn’t want to date again.
Sarah ran a hand over the freshly laundered costumes, stacked and ready to go back to the church. She’d spent the day drawing up a plan for the set. And she’d gone to the church for a lesson on how to operate the sound system. She appreciated the distraction while her mom and dad went about Christmas-as-usual.
As if there could be Christmas-as-usual this year.
Anything joyful or celebratory seemed almost obscene to her. A child had died, and yet the world seemed to go on. She was trying hard not to let her distaste show.
She struggled with the dissonance. She knew she should probably be praying about her grief over Peter, praying for his family, but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.
Peter had been her favorite student—a sweet, affectionate, lonely little boy. He depended on her for support while his parents worked all the time, leaving him in the care of a nanny. Sarah had probably been too attached.
Then he’d become sick. And afterward, the cancer diagnosis.
God had ignored her desperate pleas on Peter’s behalf. Why would He listen to her now?
Anger bubbled deep inside, but she tamped it down. Being mad at God was a scary thing. Something she didn’t want to dwell on.
Yes, she should go out to eat. Get out of the house so her mind wouldn’t work overtime.
She called Donna Rae, but they’d already eaten, since little children needed to eat early.
Like Hunter and Chase should have yesterday.
She grabbed her purse and keys. Maybe she’d run to Minnie’s and get some of her famous fried chicken.
She drove into town and lucked into a parking spot on the downtown square, right in front of Minnie’s Meat And Three. She’d loved to hang out here with her friends in high school. To order a good old-fashioned chocolate milkshake and a side of French fries.
Bells jangled as she walked inside, the sound reminding her of better times.
“Well, if it isn’t Miss Sarah Radcliffe,” Minnie said in her deep, raspy voice. Sarah and her friends had always thought she sounded like a frog.
“Hi, Miz Minnie. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing as well as can be expected. Are you eatin’ in tonight?”
“Um…” Should she get it to go? But she’d wanted to get out of the house. For the distraction. But now that she was here, she—
A familiar voice grabbed her attention. A little voice.
She quickly scanned the restaurant in her peripheral vision. Harry, Hunter and Chase sat at a table in the corner. And there was a menu in front of the empty fourth chair. For Gregory?
“It’s to go.”
“Well, whataya have?”
After she placed her order, Minnie said, “A milkshake and fries too?” She gave a rattling laugh, followed by a couple of hacking coughs.
Sarah found herself smiling. “Um, I could go for that milkshake.”
“There’s Miss Sawah,” the little voice called from across the room.
Distraction couldn’t work if the subject of her thoughts sat in front of her. But she walked over to them, hoping she’d get her food and get out of there before Gregory arrived. “Hi, Chase. Hunter.” She nodded at Harry. “Mr. Jones.”
“Hi, Sarah. Care to join us?”
She could see that he didn’t really want her to. And it hurt for some silly reason. But in his mind, she was the bad “guy.”
“Thanks, but I’ve ordered mine to-go.”
It appeared they were nearly finished eating. Maybe Gregory wasn’t joining them, after all.
“I ate four green beans,” Chase said proudly as he held up all five fingers. Then with his other hand, he pushed down his thumb.
“Very impressive. You’re going to be so healthy. Hunter, what about you?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know. I didn’t count.” He finally looked her in the eye. “But I ate some.”
She wanted to cry. To hug him to her. He was so serious for a child. “Good for you.”
“Well, boys, it looks like your dad got tied up and isn’t going to make it,” Harry said. “Why don’t I take you to your house and you can get going on your homework.”
“I have homework, just like Hunter,” Chase bragged.
She gasped. “You do?”
“Yep. I’m a big boy.”
“You sure are.” She patted his back. Then Minnie held up a to-go container. “It looks like my food is ready, so I better run. Hunter, good luck with your homework. I can help if you ever need it.” Now why had she said that?
“Really?”
“Yes, remember? I teach kindergarten.”
“Oh, yeah. Okay.” His eyes brightened in what appeared to be a true flash of interest.
“Thank you for offering,” Harry said.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” She gave a little wave and went to get her food.
It looked like Gregory was having a hard time leaving work on time that week. First, too late to feed his sons dinner before the meeting. And now, missing dinner all together.
She couldn’t help but wonder if all was well in the Jones household. Didn’t Gregory realize these days when his sons are young were precious and fleeting?
Chapter Three
O n Saturday morning, Sarah quickly finished setting up for rehearsal. And not a minute too soon. Children started arriving early.
Hunter and Chase included. Wow. Gregory’s on the ball today.
But then she looked up and saw Harry walking down the aisle. “Good morning, Sarah.”
“Good morning, Mr. Jones.”
“Gregory’s working right now. But he’s supposed to pick the boys up.”
“Okay.”
“Call if you have any problems or if he doesn’t get here in time,” he said as he waved and walked out the door.
Problems?
Someone tugged on her sweater. “Hi, Miss Sawah.”
“Hi, Chase. How are you?”
“Good. It’s Saturday! Dad is home on Saturdays.”
“No he’s not,” Hunter said sounding as bitter as a little old man. “He’ll have to work.”
Chase’s smile dropped into the most pitiful frown.
“Well, it sounds like today he’ll have the afternoon off,” she said trying to cheer them up even while wondering if she should speak with Gregory.
No, Sarah. Do not get involved with this. She smiled and walked away.
Yes, that was good. Smile and walk away. Her new mantra.
She gathered the children and teen helpers. She even found a couple of parents had stayed to help.
“Okay, boys and girls, let’s all try standing in place where you’ll be at the beginning. I need to make sure you’ll fit on the stage.” Sarah took the list Donna Rae had given her and began to call out names, assigning each a part as a shepherd, Mary, Joseph, animal or angel. She placed the children and hoped they would stand still long enough for her to see the whole group.
“Now, I want my angels to come down to the very front.”
Chase jumped right in front of her and yelled, “I’m an angel!”
He was so precious it made her want to grin every time she looked at him. It seemed like it had been weeks since she smiled a genuine smile. Yet his excitement was contagious. She couldn’t resist—the smile or the warmth that seemed to try to seep into her bones.
Once she had placed all the angels, she said, “Now, I need the speaking shepherd.” She glanced at her chart. “Hunter Jones.”
“I don’t want a talking part,” he said from the perimeter of the group.
To push or not to push? Some children just needed a bit of encouragement. Hunter didn’t have the look of someone seeking that little nudge. “Okay. But could you stand here for me until I can get someone else?”
He nodded and then let her lead him to his spot.
Once she had him all set, she patted his head and thanked him. His hair was like silk. Dark and straight, just like his mother’s. He had her hazel eyes as well.
A pain she’d pushed into submission for so long tried to work its way into her chest, but she wouldn’t let it. How could looking at Hunter, a reminder of Gregory and Delia’s betrayal, possibly hurt her over fifteen years later? She should have been over him years ago.
By the time she finished posing the children and working to teach them several songs, the parents started to arrive. “Children, thank you so much for working so hard today. I’ll see you next time.”
The kids played while waiting for their parents. Of course, Hunter stood off by himself. And she realized she needed to talk to Gregory about encouraging Hunter to keep his speaking role. Maybe if she kept their conversation strictly pageant-related, she could remain objective. Could remain personally uninvolved.
By the time twenty minutes passed, though, she was quickly becoming personally involved.
“See, I told you,” Hunter said.
“Come on. I’ll call your granddad.” Since Hunter didn’t know Harry’s phone number, she had to go find a directory. When she told Harry what had happened, he sighed and apologized, then said he’d be right there.
It was a sunny day and fairly mild for December, so she locked up the building and waited out front with the boys.
Harry pulled up to the curb in a couple of minutes. She walked the boys to the car. “Hi, Mr. Jones.”
“I’m sorry to delay you.”
“Oh, it’s no problem at all.” The waiting wasn’t a problem, at least. But Hunter’s disappointment was.
Hunter climbed in the back of the car and buckled himself in his booster seat. “Where’s Dad?”
“I just talked to him. He got a call about taking down a dead tree.”
“But he said he would get us today.”
Sarah helped Chase in the other side and tried to guard her heart against the dejection on Hunter’s face.
“I know, son,” Harry said. “Your dad is a busy man, trying to make a living to take good care of you boys.” He twisted around to look back at Hunter. “And hey, guess what? We get to hang out together today. And you’re going to spend the night with me, so you don’t have to wake up and go to your house tonight.” Harry made a big production of looking excited.
Hunter didn’t buy it. Tears welled up in his eyes. “But I want to sleep in my bed,” he yelled, then turned his head into his seat and cried.
His pain was palpable, and she wanted more than anything to just smile and walk away. But she couldn’t do that any more than she could have walked away and skipped Peter’s funeral like her mind had screamed for her to do.
She reached across Chase to rub Hunter’s back.
“It’s okay. I’ll take care of him,” Harry said. “He’s having a hard time since Lindsay moved to Boston. She was like a mother to the kids, and we’re muddling our way through.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jones. I wish I could help.”
As they drove away, heaviness settled over her. A feeling of helplessness like she’d felt as Peter declined so rapidly.
But what could she do to help Hunter and Chase? Volunteer to be their mom?
Gregory needed to know what was going on. Surely he didn’t have any idea what his absence was doing or he would make more of an effort to be at home.
Of course, in her experience, he wasn’t very dependable. He’d flitted from her to Delia in the blink of an eye. But she liked to think he would have grown up by now.
As soon as Harry’s car turned the corner, she dug her cell phone out of her purse and called Donna Rae. “How are you feeling?”
“Bored.”
“Well, try to rest and enjoy the break.”
“Yeah, right.”
Though she didn’t want to worry Donna Rae, she knew she had to bring up the incident with Hunter. “Hey, I had a little problem with Hunter today. He refused his speaking part. Then when he found out Harry was taking him home to spend the night, he threw a fit and cried.”
“Poor little guy.”
“Do you think it’s the fact that Lindsay is gone, or is it the time Gregory’s away because of work?”
“Both, I imagine. He needs Gregory now more than ever.”
Yes, Gregory needed to know what his overtime was doing to his son. Maybe it would help if she told him about Peter. About how he’d spent most of every day at school or with a nanny. How his parents had provided all the best, but he’d had no interest in the “stuff,” had wanted only time with his mom and dad. And how his parents learned the hard way—after it was too late.
“Donna Rae, could you give me Gregory’s phone number? I think I’m going to have to talk to him.”
“Sure, hon. That’s probably a good idea.”
She jotted the numbers on a slip of paper, then after hanging up, programmed them in her cell phone.
Money, or the lack thereof, had always been important to Gregory. But it seemed he was doing fine now. Why work all that overtime for gifts that would mean nothing to the boys after the first five minutes when what was truly important could be taken away at any time?
She climbed into her car, pressed a hand against her thumping heart and forced herself to dial his cell phone.
“Gregory Jones.”
Oh, my. His deep, baritone voice had always done crazy things to her stomach. “Hello, Gregory. This is Sarah.”
“Hey, I’m sorry I was late. Did Dad get there yet?”
“Yes. But we had a little problem today, and I thought you’d like to know about it. That is, if you have a minute.”
“Can’t right now.” He huffed as if he was lifting something. “But I’ve got to run to town in an hour.”
She could visit Donna Rae and gather her thoughts. “Okay. How about meeting in the church parking lot in an hour.”
“Fine.” He cut off the connection.
Gregory found her lone car in the back parking lot. He hopped out and went around to her passenger side, opened the door and climbed into the pure luxury.
The car wasn’t brand spanking new, though. He’d heard that her dad bought it for her when she graduated from college. Or maybe it was when she got her master’s degree. He’d tried not to listen to town gossip through the years.
Especially when it had to do with Sarah. It was too painful.
“So Hunter gave you a hard time?” he asked.
“No, he didn’t act out. He just didn’t want to have a speaking part.” Then she described his refusal and the fit he threw for his granddad.
He ran a hand through his hair. “He’s been like a different child since Lindsay moved. Quiet, sad…”
“Donna Rae told me it’s been hard on them. Is he usually as sunny a personality as Chase?”
“Well, no. He wasn’t so affectionate. But he was very active and talkative.”
And now he walked around like a pitiful, quiet little thing. And Gregory had no idea what to do about it.
Could Sarah, with her experience, maybe help?
Was he desperate enough to ask?
Even though the car was off and she wasn’t driving, she gripped the steering wheel tightly and faced out the front window. “I hate to seem like I’m prying, but I’m wondering if there’s more to it.”
“Like what?” he snapped.
“I’m not trying to be accusatory. I’m just concerned.”
“Well, they’ve had a rough few years.”
She faced him, but still didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Has Delia had any contact with the kids?”
What a question for her to ask. How could he tell Sarah, of all people, that he’d failed as a husband? That no matter what he’d done—including marital counseling—he hadn’t been able to keep his wife happy, because she knew he only asked her out because Sarah hurt him. That no matter how hard he tried, he’d never love Delia like he’d loved Sarah.
It might help Hunter. She might have advice.
“No contact at all for the last couple of years. And she’s been gone since right after Chase was born. So he doesn’t even remember her.” He sighed as he shook his head. “But Hunter does. And now with Lindsay—married and living far away, he’s had a terrible time.”
“Your dad told me Lindsay was like a mother to them. I imagine it’ll take a while to adjust.”
“I knew it wasn’t good to depend on my sister so much, but she was single and had the time. And she loved them like they were her own. When she left, they both cried every night, so we’d have to call her and have her tell them goodnight. But then it got better. Briefly.”
She looked right at him with her gorgeous brown eyes. “Have you been working more overtime lately? Maybe it would help if you spent more time with them.”
He saw it, then. The pity.
He hated pity. “My work schedule has nothing to do with it.”
“Well, I think maybe it could. Please just think about it.”
Of course, she’d only seen the worst—hungry kids at a meeting and him standing up his family at Minnie’s. He slung open the car door. “Why do you suddenly seem interested in my life, anyway? You haven’t been around in years.”
“I, uh…well, I’ve had students with parents who work all the time. I’ve seen them regret it later.”
If there was one thing he’d learned from his past, it was to not let Sarah’s opinion sway his decisions. But it galled him to have her think badly of him. “My boys aren’t your students. So leave them well enough alone.” He got out and closed the door nicely when he wanted to slam it off the hinges.
He steamed all the way to his truck and indulged in slamming his door. But once inside, he realized he was steaming mad because she’d pretty much hit the nail on the head.
He had been working a lot of evenings lately. But there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He had employees to take care of. Customers to take care of. A business to run—and to grow. Not to mention a household to run.
He was doing the best he could for his boys, and he didn’t need his ex-girlfriend telling him how to raise them.
Sarah’s hands shook as she drove home. Was she meddling as he’d insinuated? He was right that she hadn’t been around or involved in their lives.
So why did she care what he did?
Hunter’s dejected expression plastered itself in her mind, and she couldn’t shake it loose.
Miss Radcliffe, why do Albert’s and Tyrone’s and a bunch of other moms and dads come to our class parties but mine don’t? Peter’s little voice echoed in her head.
She’d tried to explain how they were working to give him the best of everything. But he never could get past the fact that his mom and dad were absent parents.
Miss Radcliffe, I sure do need a hug today, he’d said at least once a week. At first, the comment cracked her up, because it was not the request of the typical kindergartner. But the more she hugged him, the more she’d grown to need the hugs.
And now she felt like she was watching a replay, watching Gregory and his sons travel down that same road. Even though Harry was in the picture and was family, it apparently wasn’t enough for Hunter. He wanted more time with his dad.
Was there anything she could do? To somehow bring Gregory and his boys together before Christmas? If she did, Gregory was certain not to like it.
Yes, she had to do something. Her conscience wouldn’t let her do otherwise.
She looked at the calendar in her cell phone and counted dated blocks. Twelve days until Christmas Eve and their pageant.
Twelve days…. An idea began to blossom.
She took a deep breath as she envisioned those empty blocks on her calendar and began to brainstorm ideas to fill them with activities for Gregory and his sons. But could she pull it off? It would take a lot of strength to spend that kind of time around Gregory.
Strength she might not have right now.
Thank you for bringing my mom and dad here. They even spent the night. We pretended we were staying in a tent. Peter had smiled at her from his hospital bed, happy even while needles and tubes stuck into his body, so sure she’d had something to do with his parents’ change of heart. But, no, a terminal diagnosis had seen to that.
Hunter’s sad, angry face flashed through her mind.
Yes, she had to do it. For Hunter.
For Peter.
Though she’d been powerless in Peter’s situation, at least she had time to try to make a difference in Hunter’s and Chase’s lives. To make sure Gregory spent time with his sons. Every single day. For the twelve days till Christmas.
Chapter Four
T he next morning, Sarah woke and got ready for church. Though she wasn’t on great terms with God, she knew her parents would expect her to go. As she suspected, they didn’t seem at all surprised.
But when they got to the front door of the church, she hesitated. It was different from going in for a rehearsal. No longer a theater, the prospect of entering the sanctuary felt intimidating, suffocating. “I’ll be in in just a minute,” she whispered to her mom, then hurried down the steps to the front sidewalk. Okay, I’m just going to walk around for a moment to catch my breath.
She steeled herself. She could do this. Simply walk in. Sit down in their regular pew. Appreciate the nice music.
She yanked her coat tightly around her and marched right back up the steps. She plowed through the door and walked down the aisle as if she owned the place.
Once seated, she searched to see if any of the Jones men were there yet. Only Harry and Gregory’s younger brother, Richard.
A minute later, it sounded as if a herd of horses had entered the back of the church. Little footsteps stomped down the aisle.
“Hi, Miss Sawah,” Chase called out too loudly. He grinned at her, his bright blue eyes shining so much like his dad’s.
She wiggled her fingers at him.
Then a big hand lighted on his shoulder.
She scanned upward. Gregory, of course. Looking so handsome in khaki slacks and a long-sleeved button-down shirt. No coat. No tie. It wouldn’t be Gregory if he dressed up any more than he had. Of course, he looked amazing no matter what he wore.
Hunter stood behind his dad, but she caught him take a quick peek at her. She waved, and he gave a half-hearted wave back. No smile. No sparkling eyes like his brother.
If she was going to help Gregory and the boys, she was going to need access to Hunter and Chase. And she was afraid she would have to enlist Harry’s help to do so.
Since the man blamed her for hurting his son, he was sure not to trust her.
She had to find a way to persuade him to help.
After lunch at his dad’s, Gregory spent the afternoon in his home office working on billing. Or trying to work on billing. His thoughts kept wandering to Sarah, and how beautiful she looked that morning in her soft, blue sweater. And those pearls—the real thing. Necklace and earrings. He assumed they were the same ones she’d gotten for her sweet sixteenth from her parents.
The boys darted in and out, playing, fighting, trying to get his attention. He needed at least another hour of relative peace to finish up.
He made a note on the calendar to follow up on a delinquent account. As he did so, he saw December 25 circled. Alarmed at how soon it was coming up, he did the math and saw he had only twelve days before the big day.
“Man, I need to make a list and get on it.”
First on the list: buy the trampoline. The boys needed a good outlet for all their energy. Once that was done, he would spend a day putting up the outside lights and decorations.
It was going to be tough. There were only so many hours in a day. He’d have to plan carefully. And he needed to start ASAP.
Using the notes he’d jotted, he marked everything on the calendar showing what he needed to do each day to finish all the preparations in time.
He wanted so badly to do all Lindsay had always done to make the holidays so special. He realized now that he’d taken her for granted. Or maybe it was more a case of just not knowing how much work it was to pull off a big Christmas. But his boys deserved it.
Beyond the gifts Lindsay was sending, he wouldn’t have any help from her. She and Bill were flying to Europe to be with Bill’s brother, Drake, this year. He couldn’t blame them for going. Bill didn’t get to see Drake often since he traveled the world for his photography. He hadn’t even made it home for the wedding.
But the timing couldn’t have been worse.
So not only did he have to pull off Christmas, he had to fill Lindsay’s void as well.
His heart raced, and his chest tightened, a feeling that was getting a little too common lately. Stress-related, he was sure. Nothing to worry about. He just needed to get a grip.
Maybe his dad was right. He needed to date a nice woman. Go out. Have some fun.
But if all he could think about was Sarah, he was better off at home. Focusing on his kids. He could do this. He could be father and mother—and Santa—to his kids.
Yes, the big Santa gifts would definitely take their minds off any disappointment over Lindsay.
Christmas and all the trimmings, coming right up.
He’d give anything to see a smile on Hunter’s face again.
Later Sunday afternoon, Sarah decided to go to Harry’s house to speak with him.
As she pulled in the driveway, she heard a screen door slam. Harry had walked out to the front porch.
She couldn’t blame him for his surprise at seeing her at his house for no apparent reason. But he quickly masked the surprise and waved her over.
She parked, climbed out, then walked up the sidewalk. “Hi, Mr. Jones. Could I speak with you for just a minute?”
“I guess. Come in.”
She couldn’t remember ever being inside Gregory’s childhood home. Their dates had all been on the sly since her parents had been so adamant that he was too old and too wild for her. She’d rebelled for a short while, but when he started talking marriage and about her going to college locally, despite her dreams of an out of state private woman’s college, she told him she couldn’t see him anymore.
Harry eyed her cautiously. “So what did you want to discuss?”
“I came to ask a favor.” She was surprisingly nervous, but she rushed on. “This is about Gregory. I’m worried about him and the boys. I’ve seen a few issues with Hunter, and I’m afraid his sons need more of his time if they’re going to get over Lindsay’s leaving.”
A frown was his only response.
She swallowed and decided to plunge in. “I’d like to help him see that time with his children is more important than making extra money for gifts. And I need your help.”
“And you’d like to do this because…?”
“I, uh…I’ve seen parents of one of my students make a similar mistake.”
“You do realize his working overtime has as much to do with him looking out for his employees as it does with him buying nice gifts?”
“Well, no. I didn’t know that. But either way, the outcome is the same. Hunter misses his dad. He’s sad. Withdrawn.”
Harry rubbed his chin. “Have you talked to Gregory about this?”
She recalled the awkward conversation and the not-so-satisfying result. “Yes. But he ended up angry with me.”
He studied her. “I’m still trying to figure out your motive, here.”
“I guess it’s the teacher in me. I see a problem with a child, and I try to fix it.”
“You know, as long as Gregory thinks you’re trying to fix him, he’s not going to cooperate.”
She had a feeling he wouldn’t cooperate simply because she was Sarah Radcliffe. “I just want to present opportunities for him to spend time with his boys. That’s all he needs. The rest will happen on its own.”
Harry nodded. “Makes sense.” He continued to nod as if assimilating all she’d said. “Okay. I’ll help. As long as you don’t hurt my son.”
“No. Of course not.” She wouldn’t let herself get involved enough for either of them to get hurt.
“Well, what did you have in mind?”
“I was hoping I could pick the boys up at school and day care tomorrow to take them to buy a Christmas tree.”
“How will that involve Gregory?”
“We’ll need him to bring the truck to haul it home. And then he’ll have to help put it up. And decorate it.” Just telling of her plan made a grin twitch at her lips.
One side of Harry’s mouth lifted into a crooked smile. “Leave the details to me.”
The next afternoon, Sarah arrived at the Jolly Time Day Care Center after picking up Hunter from kindergarten. Hunter remained silent as they drove to pick up Chase, but he hadn’t complained.
“Come on, let’s go get your brother.” She held out her hand to him, trying to act as if she wasn’t anxious. After all, she hardly knew these children. And they didn’t really know her.
“What are we going to do?” Hunter asked, ignoring her outstretched hand.
“That’s a surprise. I’ll tell you once we get Chase.”
“Hi, Miss Sawah,” Chase called as soon as they walked in.
“Hi, Chase. I’m here to pick you up today.”
She was relieved to see the day care center was bright, cheery and clean. The children seemed happy and well cared for.
“I’ll get my book bag.” He ran to his cubby while she provided her driver’s license to the worker and signed Chase out.
“So why didn’t Granddad pick us up today?” Hunter asked.
“Well, I asked him if I could take you shopping for a Christmas tree.” She clapped her hands together, hoping they’d get excited.
Chase didn’t disappoint. He hopped up and down, clapping his hands as well. But then he noticed his brother’s lack of reaction.
Hunter stood stock-still. “I thought Dad would take us.”
She hadn’t expected Hunter’s reaction. Had assumed he’d be thrilled. “Well, would you mind if I take you? I thought we’d pick it out, then call your dad to help us take it home and decorate it.”
He shrugged. “He won’t come.”
“Why don’t you let me worry about that part, okay?”
He shrugged again. “Okay.”
She buckled them in the car seats provided by Harry and drove to the tree farm outside of town. She’d always bought trees shipped in from North Carolina, but this was a cut-your-own tree place, her excuse to get Gregory involved. She’d call him to ask him to come help. How could he resist?
“There’s one!” Chase yelled as soon as they walked up.
“That’s tiny,” Hunter said.
“Let’s keep looking and see if we can find one you’ll both like.”
They tromped through row after row of Leyland cypresses and Virginia pines. The boys couldn’t agree on a tree at all. Hunter liked the tall fat ones. Chase liked the short, scrawny ones. As the light started to fade, she looked at her watch. Time to call Gregory.
“Gregory Jones,” he answered, sending her pulse into overdrive.
“Hi, Gregory. This is Sarah.”
After a two-second pause, he said, “What’s up?” He sounded wary.
“Well, I have your boys with me, and—”
“What? Why do you have my boys with you?”
Her pulse continued to race. Only this time it wasn’t due to the familiar sound of his voice. Now she feared she’d made a mistake. “I asked your dad if I could bring them to get a Christmas tree. But they can’t seem to make up their minds. And now I’ve realized it won’t fit in my car trunk, so—”
“Hold up a second. I’m still trying to figure out how you got my kids out of school.”
“Your dad gave permission for me to pick them up. I showed my driver’s license.”
“And took them tree shopping.”
“Yes.”
He sighed. “So now they’ve picked out a tree?”
“Well…no. Not exactly. They can’t seem to agree. Hunter likes tall and fat. Chase like short and skinny. So, what do you say you come with your truck, help pick one out, and then haul it home?” She smiled, because she was doing a great job of sounding cheerful. Maybe he would get in the spirit.
“But I have an appointment in…forty-five minutes and need to make a quick shopping trip on the way. Just get them to strap it to the top of your car.”
Chase started jumping up and down, excited that his dad might be coming. Hunter fidgeted as he tried to listen to the phone call. Of course, they hadn’t heard Gregory’s response.
Hunter tugged her arm down to move the cell phone closer. “Hey, Dad!” he yelled.
“Hey, Dad!” Chase echoed.
She put the phone back to her ear. “The boys really want you to come help pick it out. I know it would mean a lot to them.”
He sighed—an angry sigh. “I had set aside a day this week to go get the tree. It’s on my calendar.”
Her heart pounded. What if she’d gone too far? What if he wouldn’t come? “We’re here already. Come on over and help. It’ll be fun.”
“Pleeease,” Hunter yelled. And of course, Chase echoed. She almost said the same, but instead prepared to watch her plan crash and burn.
“Okay. But make them pick one before I get there. I won’t have time to shop.”
She smiled and gave the boys a thumbs-up. They whooped and danced around the trees while she gave Gregory directions to the farm.
After the celebration, they walked two more rows of trees. Still no consensus.
“Okay, you two. I have a solution. One wants tall and fat. One likes short and skinny. So how about we get a tall, skinny tree.”
Hunter looked at Chase. Chase looked at Hunter. Both smiled. Then Hunter held up his hand for a high five from his brother. Success.
A good while later, way back on the property, about as far as they could go from the parking lot, the boys found their tree. Most of the surrounding trees had been cut, and there stood their perfect tree. Well, perfect in their eyes anyway. Sarah tried not to laugh.
It was tall.
It was skinny.
It was pitifully scraggly.
“That’s kinda holey,” Hunter said as he shook his head, a gesture so like his dad that it made her heart lurch. “But it looks lonely. Can we take it home, please?”
Lonely? Her heart hurt once again. Hunter…so sweet, so tender, so…lonely.
“Pwease,” Chase added, sealing the deal.
She pushed aside the ache for Gregory’s children and grabbed the saw. “Let’s get started.” She made the boys stand back as she attempted a couple of passes of the saw. Not easy work. Maybe she would wait for Gregory to—
“Need some help?” he asked from behind her, his deep voice a rumble she could feel as if it were wrapping around her, enveloping her.
Chase squealed, and Hunter actually smiled, both excited that their dad was taking part in getting the tree. Once he’d patted their heads, he rubbed his hands together and reached to take the saw from her.
He’d always been the opposite of the men of her childhood dreams. Way back then, she’d imagined her perfect husband in a suit and tie like her dad—a slick businessman. But here he was in his boots, khaki work pants and polo shirt embroidered with the Jones logo, his auburn hair a little too long, his face scruffy with a five o’clock shadow. And so very appealing.
Before sawing, he stood back and really looked at the tree. He shook his head, just like Hunter had done.
Please brag on it. Please don’t say anything negative.
“Why on earth did you pick out a Charlie Brown tree?” he asked.
“A Charlie Brown tree?” Hunter asked. “What’s that?”
He gave Sarah a look. “I guess if you’ve already started cutting, we have to buy that one.”
“It’s perfect. And it needs love,” she said, daring him to say another word.
“A tree needs love?” he said quietly for her ears only.
His whisper rustled the hair by her ear and caused chill bumps to travel down her arm. A hint of clean, crisp, manly fragrance teased her nose, and she breathed in deeply. She couldn’t quite bring herself to move away. So she leaned in closer.
“According to your son, the tree is lonely,” she whispered. “So watch yourself.”
Gregory couldn’t look away from Sarah. Her nearness. Watching her with his kids. Seeing her protect Hunter. It was overwhelming. So he tried to focus on the tree. He was not at all surprised the tree looked lonely. It had been left behind for a reason.
Forcing thoughts of Sarah from his mind, he made quick work of cutting the trunk, then carried it to where he’d parked his truck. Once he had paid, he said, “I’ve got to go. I’ll bring the tree home with me tonight.”
“Ah, man. I wanted to decorate it now,” Hunter said.
“Can we, Dad, pwease?”
He’d already had to move buying the trampoline back one day. They could decorate the tree later. “I’m sorry, boys. I have some shopping I have to do before my meeting. And I’m probably going to be late as it is.”
“Stupid job,” Hunter mumbled as he kicked at the truck tire.
“Gregory, do you think you could help us just get the tree in the house? You could decorate it another day.”
Hunter looked at him, a hopeful expression on his face. Sometimes it took so little to satisfy them.
He glanced at his watch. “I guess I could do that. But we’ll have to hurry.” And he could forget shopping.
The boys hopped in the back seat of his king cab truck to ride with him.
“Sowwy, Miss Sawah. You have to wide all alone.”
“That’s okay, Chase. I don’t mind,” she said as she buckled him in.
“We’ve gotta go.” Gregory turned and leaned over the seat. “Sarah, can you follow us home, then take them to my dad’s?”
“Of course. See you there.”
He wanted to rush home, sling the tree into a bucket of water, then zip to the toy store, all in about five minutes. But he drove safely, making sure Sarah stayed behind him, safe as well. When they got home, he suggested the bucket of water.
Hunter leaped over the seat of the truck and tumbled into the front. “But Dad, we’ve got to take it in the house so we can decorate it later.”
“We won’t be able to do it for a couple of days.” He tried to remember which day he’d set aside to do the tree. “I think I planned for us to do it Wednesday.”
“Let’s do it tomowwo,” Chase said as he carefully tried to tumble where his brother had just done so effortlessly. Instead, he ended up stranded, hanging on the seatback.
Gregory gave him a tug to pull him the rest of the way. “Okay, guys. We’ll take it inside now, put it in the stand, then decorate tomorrow.”
Sarah stepped up beside the truck. “Do you have a tree stand?”
How come she had to keep popping up? It was as if she was trying to torment him—drawing him to her with her silky hair, sparkling eyes and sweet nature. She reminded him of the good parts of their past. When in reality it was a past that was best forgotten.
He sucked in a breath as a thought hit him.
Would Winston Radcliffe expect him to honor their agreement even after all these years?
“Gregory? A tree stand?”
“Oh, uh, check the attic. Pull down ladder’s in the hallway.” He handed her the house key.
It had been over fifteen years ago that he’d made the stupidest bargain of his life. Surely Sarah’s father wouldn’t hold him to it, now.
While Sarah went on a mission to find the tree stand, he trimmed off the lowest branches as Hunter and Chase looked on. By the time they got the tree up and tried to find one decent side, it was six o’clock and time for him to be at his new customer’s office.
“I’ve got to go. You three can try to find a side that doesn’t have too many gaps in the branches.”
He rubbed Hunter’s head. And started to rub Chase’s. But Chase launched into his arms and gave him a quick hug and sloppy kiss.
He started to thank Sarah. But for what? Throwing his whole schedule off and making him late? “I appreciate you taking the boys to Dad’s for me,” he said.
“No problem. Thanks for coming to help get the tree.” She gave him a big smile.
Did she feel it too? Or were his feelings one-sided. “Hey boys, you two run outside and get your bookbags out of Sarah’s car so you don’t forget them.”
Both obeyed and headed out the front door.
“I hope you don’t see Hunter and Chase as some sort of mission project,” he said voicing the fear that had been nagging him for the past few hours.
She looked surprised. “Oh. No, of course not.” But she seemed uncomfortable, as if he’d hit at least on some bit of the truth.
“So why’d you want to spend time with them?”
“They’re in the play. I wanted to get to know them.”
“And you’re going to get together with each of the children in the play?”
She didn’t say anything.
It made him sick to think her kindness to his boys was nothing more than feeling sorry for them. “My kids aren’t neglected. They’re not needy. I do a perfectly fine job providing for them.” He paced across the living room, wishing his house were bigger so he had decent room to work off the aggravation.
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