Marry Me...Again
Cheryl St.John
Marrying footloose cowboy Devlin "Devil" Holmes after their heart-stopping one-night stand was the most reckless thing Dr. Brynna Holmes had ever done.With one rough-and-tumble smile he'd lassoed her heart and promised forever. But Brynna was responsible–for her patients and her family–and trusting her fun-loving husband to take care of her didn't come easily…even after eight months of wedded bliss. Now, with their happily-ever-after jeopardized by painful mistakes and misgivings, could she vow to honor, cherish and love…again?
Stories of family and romance
beneath the Big Sky!
She wanted Dev.
But hadn’t she learned the price of being impulsive?
Regret and fear welled up and brought tears with them.
“Brynna,” Dev said sleepily. “It’s okay, baby.”
He ran his hand through her hair, but she pulled away.
“Go, now,” she whispered hoarsely.
He reached for her.
She moved back, shaking her head, and pulled the sheets around her body. “No. Leave.”
He cursed. “I’m damned tired of you telling me to leave.” He stood and fumbled in the dark for his clothes. “What was tonight about, then?” he asked, frustration plain in his voice.
“It was a mistake.”
Denim rustled. His belt buckle clanked. “No, burning the toast is a mistake. Taking the wrong highway is a mistake. Not this. Not this, Brynna. The mistake here is you not giving us a chance.”
Marry Me…Again
Cheryl St. John
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CHERYL ST. JOHN
A peacemaker, a romantic, an idealist and a discouraged perfectionist are the terms that Cheryl uses to describe herself. The award-winning author of both historical and contemporary novels says that knowing her stories bring hope and pleasure to readers is one of the best parts of being a writer. The other wonderful part is being able to set her own schedule and have time to work around her growing family.
Cheryl loves to hear from readers! Email her at SaintJohn@aol.com.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Epilogue
Chapter One
Eight months ago
“He’s still looking this way,” Emma Carlisle said from behind her third rum and Coke. The animated woman was married and had three teenage children, but hearing her talk about the tall sandy-haired cowboy at the bar, anyone would think she was a teen herself. In fact, they’d have thought the entire group of nurses were high-school sophomores at the mall.
Rae Ann Benton elbowed Brynna. “He’s heading this way. Act like you didn’t see him coming.”
“I didn’t see him coming,” Brynna replied, but her heart had leapt into her throat at the news that the six-foot-something hunk in the slim-fitting jeans, worn cowboy boots and faded chambray shirt was walking toward them. He’d been the subject of their lively discussion and avid appreciation for the past half hour.
When he strolled up to their table and gave a disarming grin, Brynna already knew that his name was Devlin Holmes, that he was better known as Devil and that he worked as foreman at his cousin’s ranch outside town. What she didn’t know—and couldn’t have predicted—was that his flirtatious green eyes would take her breath away when he acknowledged the gathering of women with a polite hello and then singled her out with a confident nod.
“Care to dance?” he asked, his voice a stirring deep baritone that reached her toes.
The jukebox had started a lively Dixie Chicks’ number that did make a person want to get up and move. Brynna never usually drank. Tonight she’d had two drinks and would probably trip and embarrass herself, but what the heck. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d danced. She wanted to dance with him. Her heart-pounding reaction to the guy was crazy.
Rae Ann’s elbow dug into her side so sharply, Brynna practically leaped up out of her seat. If she fell and broke something, she was with the best nurses in the state of Montana, she thought giddily, catching her balance. The handsome fellow gestured toward the dance floor and she led the way across the wooden floor littered with peanut shells, conspicuously aware of his presence close behind her.
She’d showered at the hospital after her shift, changed into jeans and a sleeveless cotton top, and her shoulder-length hair had only begun to dry. She wasn’t wearing a lick of makeup except lip gloss and a little blush she’d found on the top shelf of her locker. She couldn’t imagine why the man of nurse dreams would look twice, let alone ask her to dance.
Dev thought the slender, fresh-faced beauty was the prettiest thing he’d seen in a long time, and she moved with a beguilingly natural sensuality that appealed to him on a purely masculine level. The single young women who normally came into Joe’s Bar were made up for a manhunt—makeup, perfume, tiny T-shirts that bared their midriffs, low-slung jeans that usually revealed tattoos. There were also the older manhunters with more skin covered, but with smiles every bit as predatory.
This young woman’s smile was a little nervous, a lot embarrassed, and even if he hadn’t been coming here and knew she wasn’t a regular, he’d have known just by observing her discomfort. “Name’s Devlin Holmes,” he said, leading her to the small dance floor, where several couples parted to make some space. “Call me Dev.”
“Brynna Shaw,” she said over the blare of the music.
He took her soft yet sturdy hand and led her through the dance steps, and, after a few minutes, she loosened up and seemed to enjoy herself. Her golden-blond hair bounced on her shoulders under the dim lighting. Her expressive brown eyes did something strange to his insides. She smelled like soap and shampoo, mingled with the faintest hint of almond. The alluring smell enticed his senses. The sight and scent of her hair had him wanting to touch it. It had been a long time since a woman had attracted him the way this one did.
Somehow, as soon as he’d seen her, he’d known she was special. Maybe it was the fact that she seemed out of place here or that she was obviously embarrassed and yet pleased by the fact that he’d singled her out that made him want to know her.
Being this close made him want a lot more.
After a line dance and another fast number, a slow Garth Brooks song played. Tentatively, Dev took her hand and drew her close, pleased that she didn’t resist. She rested her other hand on his shoulder and glanced up. Looking into her eyes, his heart increased its speed. He suddenly felt like the luckiest man in Montana. How could he have missed her until now? “You live in town?” he asked.
She nodded. “I have an apartment down the street.”
“I haven’t seen you here before.”
“I usually go straight home after work.”
“Where’s work?”
“The hospital in Whitehorn. I’m also on staff at the clinic here in Rumor.”
“Nurse?”
“Third-year resident.”
His eyebrows rose. “No wonder you’re tired after work. I’ve seen ER, it looks exhausting.”
The warmth of her genuine laugh wound its way around his heart. He definitely liked making her laugh.
“It’s not quite that exciting,” she denied. “We’re a small town, you know.”
“Just the same, you see all the interesting cases.”
“Well, some.” She shrugged. “I’m an ob-gyn.”
Dev laughed aloud. “I’m not going to comment.”
“Thank you. I’ve heard them all.”
Her body relaxed even more after their introductions, and within moments, she was leaning into him, her soft curves pressed against the planes of his chest and hips; she fitted there as if she was made for him. He couldn’t believe his good fortune. What had he ever done to deserve this?
After another slow dance, he asked, “Would you like to get a fresh drink and talk for a while?”
To his delight, she agreed. Her friends smiled and waved with waggling eyebrows when he led her to a booth along the back, where the music wasn’t so loud and the lighting was more intimate.
Ignoring them, Brynna tasted the drink the waitress sat on a napkin before her. She’d worked up a thirst. If someone had told her this morning that she’d be dancing with a handsome cowboy, let alone letting him buy her drinks, she’d have ordered them a psych exam. She was the most sensible, least impulsive person on the planet. She never did anything like this.
But it had been a harrowing day at the hospital. She’d lost a mother with leukemia she’d been trying desperately to save. In order to protect her unborn child, the young woman had refused the chemotherapy she needed, so there had been little Brynna could do, except turn her over to the oncology team once the baby was safely delivered.
Even now, thinking about Heidi Price, regret washed over her. The sound of pool balls clacking together and muted cheers came from a side room, and she couldn’t help thinking how odd it always seemed that lives went on unaffected when others were experiencing tragedies.
As though sensing the shift in her mood, Dev asked softly, “Something wrong?”
She drew a circle in the condensation her glass had left on the table and spoke the difficult words. “I lost a patient today.”
“That must be tough.”
Brynna agreed. “She was twenty-four. Had leukemia, but refused treatment because of her baby.”
“I guess there wasn’t much you could do.”
“It was frustrating.”
“What about the baby?”
Gauging his sincerity, she gazed into his eyes. His earnest tone and concerned expression showed he really cared. “She’s four weeks early, but doing just fine.”
“That’s good.”
His compassion touched her, and Brynna nodded. “I had to tell her husband that his wife didn’t make it.”
He studied her for a moment. “How do you do that?”
“Well…I’ve never had to do it before. I was taught to explain the facts. Answer the questions. But then you see the pain…the grief…and….” Brynna’s throat tightened with the words and the remembrance. She had felt like crying all afternoon, but she hadn’t allowed herself to let go. She was a professional.
“And what?” Dev asked, urging her to go on.
This man not only had her examining her inner feelings, but sharing them. She found herself saying things she didn’t share with anyone else. “I don’t know how to detach and be merely the doctor and not a caring person,” she admitted. “You are a caring person, or you probably wouldn’t be a doctor. The two aren’t separate, are they?”
With a lump in her throat, she shook her head.
His hand covered hers then, warm tactile comfort that sent an enticing shiver up her arm. Without conscious thought, Brynna turned over her hand and laced her fingers through his, their palms touching. His tanned hand was large, with long fingers and calluses she felt against her palm—so different from her own—so entirely masculine. It was an intimate touch. A sexy, familiar touch that set off a battery of butterflies in her chest and made her wonder how his hand would feel on other parts of her body.
She should have been ashamed of her thoughts, but the sensual contact released a deeply buried longing—a longing for something more than years of school and work and self-denial. His touch brought her single status sharply into focus.
Face warming uncomfortably, she glanced up to notice his thick blond hair with a ridge where his hat had been and his crescent-shaped eyebrows. Both hair and brows were bleached from the sun. He was strikingly handsome, but there was something even more attractive about him than those intriguing eyes and sexy mouth. The way he looked at her made her think of wet lingering kisses and the slide of bare skin.
The words to a song about slow hands registered in the background. A burning warmth that had begun in her chest flowed through her abdomen and pooled at the center of her femininity. This man’s touch melted her insides. The way he gazed at her had her hot enough to combust. She swallowed and met his sparkling green gaze. Could he tell the effect he had on her?
He smiled, one side of his full lips drawn up in a secret grin that created a sexy dimple in his cheek. Surprising herself, she studied his mouth and wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. Would he be an aggressive kisser? Would his lips taste like the beer in the glass on the table? Would his tongue?
If she didn’t know it was physically impossible, Brynna would have sworn her heart turned completely over in her chest at the thought. The temperature in the room seemed to double. She found it difficult to breathe and inhaled quickly through parted lips.
Dev obviously noted her sharp intake of breath, the parting of her lips, the rise of her chest, and his gaze, glittering with masculine interest, dropped to her breasts before he dragged it back to her mouth. The smile had disappeared from his lips, and his perusal was now surprisingly serious. Had he been imagining kissing her, too?
She didn’t want to let go of his hand, and he didn’t seem inclined to break the contact either. She felt like clinging to him, and it was a good thing the table was between them or she’d have embarrassed herself by pressing against his body and melding into him. Remembering the solid strength of his arms and chest as they’d danced that last dance made her head a little dizzy.
The waitress set down a full glass and a fresh pitcher of beer. Reluctantly, they broke the contact of their entwined fingers, and Dev placed money on the tray. The girl thanked him and picked up Brynna’s empty glass.
Brynna glanced at the gimlet, a lime twist perched on the rim. No wonder she was feeling light-headed. She’d had too many drinks. Obviously the liquor had gone straight to her head for her to be having the dangerous and uncharacteristically erotic thoughts she’d been having about the man sitting across from her.
“I think I’ve had enough,” she said.
When she looked up again, Dev’s brows were drawn together in a question—or was that disappointment?
“Drinks,” she clarified.
His expression smoothed into a lazy smile. “We could order coffee,” he suggested. When she didn’t readily agree, he added, “Or go outside for air.”
As if only just noticing where they were, she glanced around. They’d been sitting here holding hands and staring at each other like googly-eyed teenagers, but thank goodness, the back of the booth where Dev sat prevented almost everyone in Joe’s Bar from seeing them. Brynna didn’t want to part company just yet, and fresh air would probably do her good.
“Okay.” She stood and led the way through the dimly lit room to the table where her friends were sharing a basket of buffalo wings. Rae Ann was missing, and Brynna spotted her on the dance floor. “We’re going for a walk,” she said to Emma and the other two nurses.
Emma reached under the table, brought up Brynna’s backpack and gave the couple an innocent smile, but Brynna knew as soon as the door closed behind them, tongues would wag. “See you later,” Emma said.
As soon as Dev touched the small of her back, guiding her toward the exit in a decidedly possessive male way, a shiver ran up her spine. He grabbed a black Stetson from a row of similar hats on hooks, slowed to allow Joe, the resident rottweiler who guarded the door, to sniff them as they passed, then held open the door.
The air was damp, but cool, the refreshing summer scent bringing with it a sense of starting over. The dark shiny pavement indicated it had rained while they’d been inside Joe’s.
Dev took her bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Which way?”
She didn’t want him to think she was inviting him to her place, which was straight ahead down State Street—and which was what she would really have liked to have done—so she pointed left on Main. “That way.”
“You live alone?” he asked after they’d walked a few paces.
She nodded.
“Have family in Rumor?”
“My younger sister Melanie and her family live west on Logan. She’s married and has two boys. My brother Kurt just turned twenty-four, and he’s the pharmacy tech at Value Drug Store. My little brother Tuck is nineteen and stays with each of us off and on. He’ll be going to college in the fall.”
Right next to Joe’s was the Rumor Motel, and as they passed, Brynna thought maybe it would have been better to go the other way. Dev might think she was hoping for an invitation.
If he thought anything, Dev didn’t reveal it or react; he simply walked on past the Rooftop Café and led her across the street where they turned and strolled toward the library.
“What about you?” she asked. “Family?”
“My cousin runs a spread about fourteen miles that way.” He pointed ahead in a southeasterly direction. “You probably know the Holmes Ranch.”
She nodded. “Colby is your cousin?”
“Yep.”
He wasn’t volunteering information, so she asked, “Where are you from?”
“Raised in Seattle.”
“Your parents live there?”
“Yep.”
“Montana is quite a change from Seattle.”
“Ever been there?”
“No. I’m just imagining.”
They passed the courthouse, the lawn lit by old-fashioned converted gas lamps, just as a gentle rain began to fall, a cool sprinkling against Brynna’s warm skin. Dev led her toward the shelter of the shadowy white gazebo. He climbed the stairs and dropped her bag on a bench, and she followed, standing and gazing out at the rain falling on the street.
When she turned back, he was only inches away, having removed his hat. He studied her, his green eyes black in the dark. The dampness brought the clean scent of his shirt and skin to her nostrils. That heavy feeling in her abdomen returned full-force, and she had an overpowering urge to touch him. What would he think of her if he knew—if, heaven forbid, she had the boldness to actually act on her desires?
She didn’t have to find out, because he raised his hand first, his fingers brushing hair away from her cheek and lingering to caress the strands between his thumb and forefinger. They stood so close, she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. It was crazy, but she could feel herself being drawn toward him like a magnet.
“I want to kiss you, Brynna.”
Her heart skipped a beat. Finally. She’d never done anything this impulsive, but she’d never wanted anything more than she wanted to experience his kisses at this moment.
“Yes,” she said without hiding the impatience in her breathy voice.
She met him in an eager embrace, and the question of his kisses was answered to her delirious pleasure. His mouth tasted like beer, warm and yeasty; his lips were firm and he applied just the right amount of pressure. He allowed her to breathe and enjoy and even pull away, if she had wanted.
She didn’t.
No, no, no, she didn’t….
Senses reeling, she melted against him, placing a hand flat against his shirtfront and angling her head for closer, deeper contact. Immediately he folded her against his body, splayed the fingers of one hand over her spine and the other behind her neck, in her hair, his thumb along her jaw. Like the parched ground eager for sustaining rain, she couldn’t get enough of him.
She drank him in, absorbing warmth, comfort, passion, without any inhibition.
Brynna was a sensible woman, a woman with responsibilities who planned meticulously and took care of other people. Doing something just because she wanted to was out of her limited experience. It felt strange.
It felt scary.
It felt wonderful.
If there was such a thing as a biological clock, hers hadn’t merely been buzzing—it had been gonging like Big Ben, but for the past several years she’d been hitting the snooze button. Though she loved her job, she wanted a relationship. A family.
Not a one-night stand with a man she’d just met.
Their lips parted, giving them time to breathe, and, in those heart-pounding seconds, Brynna tried to collect her thoughts. Dev still stroked her cheek with his thumb. The touch went all the way to her breasts and hardened her nipples. Greedy for the feelings he created so easily, she closed her eyes on the erotic sensation and dropped her head back. It seemed as though she’d been waiting for his touch forever.
Dev took the opportunity to dart his tongue against the sensitive skin of her neck, press a dewy kiss under her jaw…beneath her ear. “You taste so damned good,” he whispered, and she shuddered with the pleasure of his damp breath in her ear. He slid his other hand from her back around to cup her breast. Even through the fabric of her shirt and bra, his caress was hot and her nipple stiffened. He found it with the tips of his fingers.
Brynna sighed, almost a hiccup, almost a sob, but definitely a sound of sensual delight. Her knees had turned to jelly, and she didn’t know how much longer she would be able to stand like this, without melting into a puddle.
This man made her lose all reason, and she was tired of denying herself, tired of thinking about nothing but school and work and sensible things. It was time to take a chance. She deserved a sexy cowboy with slow hands and mesmerizing kisses. She deserved Devlin Holmes…and the pleasure he promised.
Chapter Two
She buried her face in his neck and inhaled the intoxicating scent of his skin, then instinctively tasted him. “If we cross the street and run through those backyards, we’ll come out right at the back of my apartment building,” she said softly, brazenly, her heart leaping at her daring as well as the thought.
He leaned back enough to see her face in the dim glow of the distant street lamps. He stood with her pressed against the entire length of his body and her blood thrummed in her veins. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“It’s my birthday,” she replied, as if that explained her decision to throw caution to the wind with a stranger, and then she felt silly for mentioning it.
“You didn’t say anything.” He sounded more surprised at the fact that it was her birthday than because she wanted to take him home to her bed. He probably got a lot of offers.
She shrugged and wondered if perhaps he wasn’t all that interested. Maybe hard-up doctors weren’t that much of an oddity. Disappointment flashed through her veins.
He stroked her bare arms. “Give me five minutes to run back across Main Street to the gas station, okay?”
Her relief was so potent, it should have been embarrassing.
He released her shoulders and stepped away. “If you’re not here when I get back, I’ll know I dreamed you.”
“I’ll be here.” Unless the world ended or she woke up. God, she hoped she wasn’t dreaming.
He grabbed his Stetson and dashed out into the rain, his boots squishing on the sodden grass.
She had a watch. It only took him four minutes, and he was back, barely breathing hard, his hat dripping, his shirt plastered to his broad chest. “You’re here,” he said.
“Waiting,” she replied with a nod.
Slowly he removed his hat and settled it on her head. Then picking up her backpack, he took her hand, and together they ran across the street. They cut a path between the homes, across backyards and toward her apartment complex. Her knees were still weak with passion and excitement, and she struggled to keep up with his longer, more confident strides.
Beneath the overhang that protected a small back stoop, Brynna unlocked the entry, then led him up a flight of orange-carpeted stairs to her door. Her fingers trembled so hard she dropped the keys. With a gentle hand on her shoulder, Dev pressed her against the wall, eased his rock-solid body against hers and kissed her, knocking his hat from her head to the floor. She wrapped one arm around his neck and met the invasive mind-reeling quest of his tongue. Her imagination couldn’t have come up with anything better than Dev’s kisses.
Again, she forgot where she was until he loosened his hold and separated them to quickly scoop up her keys and his hat and unlock the door. Brynna groped for the light switch that turned on a lamp at the end of her sofa.
Dev let her bag fall and glanced around. He met her gaze.
Lips tingling, body thrumming, she smiled hesitantly and kicked off her shoes.
“Maybe we should get out of these wet clothes,” he suggested standing his hat on its crown on the floor.
She locked the door behind her and walked toward the hall. “I’ll grab towels while you get those boots off.”
She stepped behind the half-closed bathroom door and unbuttoned her shirt, dropping it and her bra into the tub. Her socks and jeans came next. Slipping into her terry robe, she carried a towel back to Dev.
He had removed his wet shirt and draped it over the back of a chair. Her mouth went dry at the sight of all that smooth golden skin, his loosened belt and gaping jeans. He was tanned and firm, with enticing shadows in the muscled contours of his arms and chest, and she imagined touching her tongue to those places….
Trying to stay rational, Brynna reached up with the towel to dry his hair. He allowed the act for only a moment, before pulling her close and kissing her. She touched his chest and shoulders with seeking fingers, as if she were blind and could read every inch of him. Her exploration took in his throat, then his cheeks, where the textures contrasted.
He pulled away and scraped his jaw with the backs of his fingers. “I haven’t shaved since this morning. Didn’t know I was going to…do this….”
“It’s okay. I kind of like it.” He smiled and she placed her finger on the dimple his grin created. “I like that, too.”
“I could shave if you have a razor.”
“No.”
He cocked a brow.
“I mean, I have a razor,” she explained, “but I don’t want you to shave now.”
“But I want to kiss you.”
“I want you to kiss me. I just don’t want to wait.” She blushed at her impetuousness—her impatience.
Obliging, Dev ran a finger down the front of her pale-yellow robe and spread the fabric to the side until one breast was exposed. Her nipple puckered shamelessly, but she didn’t mind him looking at her. He lowered his face to the swell of her breast and pressed a kiss there. “Not too rough?”
“No-o.” Had she managed to say that out loud? “No,” she reiterated, in case the word had only been in her head. Brynna made a conscious effort to think clearly and realized then that Dev had barely made it inside her front door before she’d succumbed to the sublime pleasures he offered. Hating to interrupt the attention he was giving her breast, but needing to move them to a more comfortable location, she took his hand and led him down the hallway to her bedroom.
She stood just inside for a moment, seeing the room with his eyes. It was by no means a lover’s den. Her bedroom was functional and represented her busy life, with a desk and filing cabinet in one corner, a treadmill in the other. The light from the hallway was enough to illuminate her plain double bed with unimaginative plaid sheets and the comforter she hadn’t even bothered to pull up that morning. No one ever saw her bed.
Devlin obviously couldn’t have cared less whether her bed was made. He released her hand, wrapped his strong arms around her and kissed her so thoroughly, she forgot to be embarrassed by the intense situation and her lack of finesse. He stroked her throat, touched her hair, and the fire was back.
Minutes later, he was backing her toward her bed, edging the robe from her shoulders, and she gladly helped him in the task of peeling damp jeans down his hips and off into a heap on the floor. They fell back on her bed, their bodies touching flesh-to-flesh—his legs cool because of the rain-soaked denim he’d just removed.
Dev stretched out over her, his weight a delicious mix of pleasure and torment. Holding him, touching him, was so much more emotionally and physically gratifying than anything she’d ever experienced…wanting him wasn’t enough…not nearly enough…yet wanting him was everything.
Somehow, Brynna knew that this experience with this man was going to be something extraordinary. It was already enough to bring tears to her eyes.
She kissed his neck…cupped his jaw and tasted his incredible thrill-inspiring mouth by gently sucking his lower lip, then seeking his tongue and deepening the contact, needing to become a part of him.
This was crazy—crazy wonderful.
Dev kissed her in return, his hand sliding across her shoulder to her breast. His mouth left hers to taste the nub he’d worked to a rigid point, and Brynna closed her eyes against the intensity of the sensations. She’d been ready and willing since sitting across from him at Joe’s—and she appreciated his efforts to prolong the inevitable—but she really didn’t think she could wait any longer.
When at last he slid his hand down her hip, across her belly and between her thighs, intuitively knowing just how and where to stroke, she bit her lower lip and held back a cry. He kissed her, as though he understood her frustration and shared her impatience. Without verbal communication, he knew to move away, grab the foil packages from his jeans on the floor and return for her assistance.
Within seconds he was sheathed and pressing into her willing flesh. Stars burst behind Brynna’s eyelids as waves of pleasure washed over her, coursed through her and stole all breath and reason. He was incredible. This moment was perfect. She had only ever imagined anything this good.
Devlin slowed his movements, kissed her tenderly…told her in a few clipped words how hot she made him…and in moments she discovered her imagination was a void where this man was concerned. He cupped her hips and angled her body so he could penetrate her swollen readiness more deeply, then gently, determinedly, eased her into another shattering climax, after which he found his own release and fell to her side.
Dazed and lethargically replete, Brynna turned on her side to gaze at him. She laid her palm against his chest, where his heart slowed to an even rhythm beneath her touch, and studied his face in profile. He had closed his eyes. One hand lay limp on his belly. His skin glowed from exertion. What a mind-numbing experience that had been, Brynna thought, thinking how uncharacteristic it was of her to do something so—impulsive.
Oddly, she didn’t care. Maybe she would later. Maybe tomorrow she’d be consumed with regret and shame. But not at this moment. Not feeling the way she did and not while looking at Devlin. A smile touched her lips.
Could the experience possibly have been as incredible for him as it had been for her? Had it meant anything to him, or was she just another in a long line of one-night flings? The thought was like a shard of glass to her chest. She was nothing if not realistic and practical. Devlin Holmes would probably sleep for a few hours and then slip out of her apartment to disappear, except for an awkward moment every once in a while, where she ran into him at MonMart or the gas station. How would she feel?
He rolled his head toward her then and opened his eyes to look at her with an expression she would have called awe if she weren’t down-to-earth and reasonable. He rolled toward her, raising the hand from his belly to her cheek. “Hey.”
She gave him a half-embarrassed smile, wondering how she could assure him she didn’t expect him to stay for breakfast, or even to use the rest of those condoms.
He looked into her eyes and said the last thing she would ever have expected. “Will you marry me, Brynna?”
Chapter Three
The Present
Brynna arranged two china plates, silverware and napkins in silver rings, then placed a pair of candlesticks holding ivory tapers in the center of the dining room table and paused. Too obvious, much too obvious. This looked as though she was setting the scene for a seduction. Plucking the candlesticks from the table, she stood holding them…considering…rethinking…changing her mind yet again.
She was setting the scene for something, after all—dinner! She and Dev shared a candlelight dinner a couple of times a month, whenever their schedules allowed, so why shouldn’t she set a romantic table?
Replacing the candles, she laid a book of matches nearby and studied the setting again, turning the bouquet of freshly cut daisies for the best effect. Dev liked daisies. She hoped he had remembered their arrangement and would be here on time.
She glanced at her watch, deliberately shoving concern away. More than once, he’d forgotten their planned evening and had been off flying somewhere while she waited. His forgetfulness had been a point of contention on more than one occasion.
Marriage was still new to him, Brynna thought, justifying his underlying wanderlust as she always did. Eight months was barely enough time to get to know each other, let alone change a lifetime of habits. Before marrying her, he’d never had to be accountable to anyone, never had to take another person’s feelings or schedule into consideration, so considering all that, he was doing great. And only occasionally did she allow his wild ways to strain her patience.
She just didn’t know how he was going to take the news she was going to lay on him tonight. Every day, every situation with Dev was like sailing uncharted waters. Anxiety tied her stomach in a knot.
Headlights swept across the picture window in the living room, indicating Dev’s pickup had turned into the driveway. Relief washed over her at the same time as anxiety pricked at her nerves. Brynna placed a hand over her chest and took a deep breath to calm herself.
Quickly, she lit the candles and turned off the overhead light.
The front door opened, and her tall handsome husband entered the living room, tossing his hat on a nearby bench and immediately looking for her. A warm rush of affection flooded over her as it always did when she saw him—when he made her feel so special. “Hey, sweet thing,” he greeted her.
She headed toward him with a smile. “You’re on time.”
He met her in the doorway to the dining room and, taking her elbows in his warm hands, gazed down at her with tenderness. “This is our only evening together this week. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Remember Friday evening is Tuck’s birthday party at Melanie’s place,” she said, touching a finger to his chin. “Don’t miss that, either. I’ll be on call, but I should get to spend part of the evening there.”
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her soundly. “I’ll be there.”
When he loosened the embrace and lowered his mouth to hers, Brynna met his lips and kissed him, amazed that she still felt such excitement every time she saw him. In eight months, the blush of first love had not waned. She never ceased being grateful that she’d found him, but a wariness always accompanied her joy. How long would a free spirit like Dev be happy with her and with this life?
“You cooked,” he said, releasing her and glancing over her shoulder with appreciation.
“I did.”
“I’ll pour the wine.”
She moved toward the kitchen to get the food. “None for me, thanks.”
He glanced at her. “Well, then, I’ll decline, too. No sense opening a bottle just for me. Can I help?” He moved into the kitchen and washed his hands at the sink.
“When have I ever turned down help?”
He grinned and kissed the back of her neck before moving on to his task. Dev was a toucher, spontaneously caressing her or laying a hand on the small of her back in passing. He had a natural way of making her feel loved and important. Some days she’d felt so lucky, she’d wondered when it would all come crashing down. And she prayed this wasn’t the day.
Once the food was on the table, they sat. She passed the dishes and they ate.
“Someone offered to buy Sky Spirit today,” he said, slathering butter and sour cream on his potato.
“Again?” He was referring to his pride and joy, the ultralight plane he’d built.
“A guy I met in Denver.”
“You were in Denver today?”
“This morning.” He tasted the steak she’d grilled to perfection. “Mmm, this is delicious.”
Brynna could barely keep track of his activities. Some days he worked at the Holmes Ranch, but others he spent flying. She hadn’t known much at all about Dev when she’d married him, nothing save the fact that he set her on fire and she couldn’t take another breath without him in her life, but she’d quickly learned that he didn’t work at his cousin’s ranch for the money.
Dev was the second son of a well-to-do family, college-educated. He assisted with the family business when duty forced him to do so, and, having tried his hand at ranching and finding he enjoyed it, Dev now preferred to work for his cousin for a mere pittance.
His main activity was flying the ultralights he built and sold for a nice profit. The only one he hadn’t sold was his favorite, Sky Spirit. He also owned and flew a Cessna 206 as well as a Piper Seneca that he kept in hangars at Lee Henderson’s airfield north of Rumor. His inability to stay in one place very long kept him on the go.
“It was awesome flying weather today,” he told her. “You would have loved the sky over Colorado.”
She smiled indulgently. “I’ll bet I would have.”
His aviation ability had come in handy the night he’d flown them to Las Vegas to get married. Brynna had refused to go that first night—the night after they’d made love for the first time and he’d proposed. They’d both had too much to drink. She hadn’t wanted to make decisions, and she hadn’t wanted him piloting a plane until they were both stone-cold sober.
Three days later, just as crazy for him and without a single drink, she’d agreed to fly to Nevada and be married. Since then he’d made several international trips and numerous flights in the States, but her job always prevented her from joining him. The next flight he had planned for them was a honeymoon on an African safari in the fall. Brynna had already planned for the time off between internships. “I wonder what the sky looks like over Nairobi,” she said teasingly.
Dev laid down his fork and took a drink of his water. “I don’t know, but we’ll find out.”
Her thoughts reverted immediately to what she had learned that day and how it would affect their trip. They finished their meal, and Dev carried the dishes to the kitchen. He opened the dishwasher, but she stopped him with a touch on his arm. “Leave them.”
He took her hand with a grin. “You have plans that can’t wait?”
She nodded, turned and took a glass bowl from the refrigerator.
Dev cocked a brow at the chocolate confection she held. His green eyes flashed intrigue and desire, and a slow grin carved a sexy dimple in his lean cheek. “For here or in the bedroom?”
Brynna blushed. The man was infinitely creative and ever so willing to please. “At the table, Dev.”
He shrugged. “Okay.”
She spooned a dollop of mousse into each of their dishes and they sat.
Dev leaned forward and touched her forehead with one finger, as if to smooth out a worry line. “Something wrong, sweet thing?”
Brynna folded her hands in her lap, then thought better of looking too nervous and brought them up to twist her napkin. “I have something to tell you.”
“Okay.” He laid down his spoon and waited, an inquisitive smile on his lips.
Her heart thudded erratically, and she swallowed. Fear of not knowing his reaction paralyzed her.
“Brynn, what is it? Is something wrong?” Immediately sensing her distress, he got up from his seat and moved to crouch on one knee at her side. He cradled her cold hand with his strong warm fingers.
Gathering courage from the love and concern in his green eyes, she took a breath. “Dev, I’m pregnant.”
Chapter Four
The words didn’t register on his face for a moment, but she knew the instant they clicked in his brain. A wrinkle formed between his brows. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “I’m an ob-gyn,” she said needlessly. “I saw the ultrasound myself.”
“Yes, of course, but…but how? We’re careful every time.”
More than a little disappointed that he was questioning the technical aspect while she was suffering the emotional impact, she concentrated on his question. “You know I’m not a supporter of many forms of birth control, because of potential side effects. I know there are risks with every method, but we were being doubly safe with…” She didn’t really need to explain to him—he was there every time she used a contraceptive foam and he a condom.
“Well, these things happen,” she went on, “even though every precaution is taken. I see this in patients now and then.”
He looked at her with disbelief edging his expression and then sat squarely on the floor as though he might fall over if he didn’t ground himself. His face plainly registered the shock he was feeling. “You’re pregnant, Brynna?”
She nodded and blinked back tears of disappointment at his reaction. He needed a little time. She’d had a couple of weeks of suspicions to get prepared. Besides, she wanted a family more than anything.
He jammed the fingers of one hand into his fair hair and gazed unseeingly into space. His silence unnerved her.
Brynna got out of her chair and lowered herself to the floor beside him. “I didn’t do this on purpose, Dev.”
He met her eyes immediately. “I never thought you did.”
“I just didn’t want you to have a doubt.”
“I don’t. Why would I doubt you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Because it’s never been a secret that I enjoy helping people create families and that I’ve always wanted my own family. I want one for us.”
“I never said I didn’t want a family,” he said defensively.
“You just aren’t ready. Not right now.”
“I don’t know. Don’t put words in my mouth. Don’t think for me.”
“Then tell me what you’re thinking. Please.”
He gestured with an open palm. “I’m dumbfounded. I hadn’t thought about this. I hadn’t planned on…”
“A baby,” she clarified.
“No. I hadn’t planned on a baby. We hadn’t planned on it.”
“You’re right. We hadn’t. But it’s happened, and now we just have to count our blessings.”
He nodded without conviction. But he didn’t meet her eyes for a long moment.
“It’s not the worst thing that could happen, Dev. We’ll have a family sooner than we planned, that’s all.”
“You’re just a year away from setting up your practice,” he pointed out.
Brynna took his hand. “I can keep working up until the last few weeks. After the baby comes, we can hire someone to help. I can have my career and be a good mother, too, Dev, I know I can.”
“I believe you can, too,” he said. He stood, still holding her hand, and helped her to her feet. As an afterthought he asked, still looking at the floor, “How pregnant are you?”
“Eight weeks,” she replied.
“How many weeks does it take?”
“Forty.”
“Is that all?” He rubbed a hand down his face.
He didn’t ask her how she felt, if she had morning sickness or what she was feeling. Tears threatened and Brynna blinked them back.
“That means he would be born when?”
“He…or she,” she replied, quoting the due date she had calculated.
He nodded, as though figuring the event into his schedule or planning how much he could fit in before he was tied down.
Brynna turned to the table. “Do you want your dessert?”
“No,” he replied distractedly. “Thanks.”
She carried the dishes into the kitchen and returned to blow out the candles.
Dev was standing in the doorway to the living room, leaning against the jamb. The light from the hall silhouetted his tall frame. Overshadowing her love for him had always been the fear that any children of theirs would be neglected while he pursued his carefree flying. Dev wasn’t used to being tied down.
Devlin Holmes was the only impulsive thing she’d ever done in her life and she prayed she wasn’t going to regret it. Thinking she might terrified her. She loved him so much it hurt.
She walked to him, and he enfolded her in a strong embrace. Brynna laid her cheek against his solid chest and allowed a tear to dampen his shirt-front.
“I love you, Brynna,” he said softly, his voice the stirring baritone she loved.
“I love you, Dev,” she replied hoarsely.
He rubbed her back and cupped her buttocks, his touch arousing feelings of passion and need as it always did. He kissed her and she melted against him.
“Is it okay to make love?” he asked.
“Yes, of course. We make love all the time, don’t we?” She took his hand and led him to the bedroom.
The following morning, Brynna stood before the mirror in her chemise and panties and studied her body, her barely swelling abdomen negligible proof of the life within her. She touched the place where their child nestled and tried not to think of Dev’s reaction the night before. His focus on flying reminded her frighteningly of her parents’ obsession with their own private lives.
Norman and Audrey Shaw had been loving toward each other, but never attentive to their children. Brynna had often wondered why the couple had bothered to create and keep four children. She’d thought they would have discovered after the first one—her—that they weren’t cut out to be parents.
Her father worked his eight-to-five job at the lumber mill and her mother as a file clerk at the courthouse. Once the two hit the door after work, they were right back out pursuing their own interests, keeping Beauties and the Beat as well as Joe’s Bar in business, traveling to flea markets and trade shows on the weekends. Her father bought and sold rare coins.
Once Tuck had graduated, they’d bought an RV and hit the road. Brynna had always been the emotional stability for her siblings. She’d prepared their meals, washed their clothes and helped them with schoolwork.
She didn’t want to be the solitary backbone of her own family as she had been for her birth family. She didn’t want a family without Dev’s help. She couldn’t bear to be alone in this marriage.
Dev had more money to play with, but he was preoccupied with his own interests, just as her parents had been. She didn’t believe for a moment that he’d ever be unfaithful. She just didn’t think he knew how to commit. His reaction to her pregnancy confirmed that.
Brynna had worked hard to get this far in her career. Focus and responsibility had brought her to this point. She’d done this on her own and she wasn’t going to give it up. But she wanted this baby, too. A family. She had a horrible feeling that she’d made a mistake in impulsively marrying a man she didn’t know well. It was a feeling she couldn’t shake.
The next two evenings Brynna worked, and when she came home, Dev had been waiting for her with a light meal. They made small talk, though neither of them mentioned her pregnancy, and the subject hung between them like an invisible wall. Brynna’s defenses were more on alert than ever. Would Dev come around…or had this pushed him away?
Would she come home some night to find him gone? His things missing? Preparing herself for that possibility, she distanced herself a little more each day.
Friday evening after work, Brynna showered and dressed for her younger brother’s party, concerned because she hadn’t heard from Dev since that morning, and he hadn’t been here to greet her after her shift. She fixed her pager to the snug waistband of her slacks and tried calling Dev’s cell phone. She got his voice mail and left him a brief message, asking where he was.
Glancing out at the hazy sky, she grabbed a light jacket and drove to Melanie and Frank’s comfortable ranch-style home. The acrid scent of smoke hung in the air, and Brynna scanned the horizon, spotting a dark cloud in the direction of Logan’s Hill. They hadn’t had rain for weeks on end, and the reports of sporadic fires were frightening. This one looked close.
Her brother-in-law met her at his door.
“Where’s the hunk?” Frank asked, glancing behind her. He’d teasingly referred to Dev as the hunk ever since hearing how the nurses at the clinic considered him eye candy.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t get him on the phone. Where’s the birthday guy?”
She had seen Tuck’s car in the drive.
“Out back. Your sister is grilling, though I warn you, I am the master chef. So far, so good, though.”
“Frank, did you see the sky to the northeast? There’s a fire.”
“I’ll flip on my police scanner and listen. Go on out back.”
Brynna made her way through the house and out the sliding doors from the dining room to a roomy deck where Tuck sat at a picnic table with his nephews, playing with plastic action figures.
John, six, and Chandler, four, jumped down from their seats to run and greet their aunt. Brynna gave them hugs and kissed their cheeks. “It’s Unca Tuck’s boofday,” Chandler told her, his blue eyes wide with excitement.
“I know,” Brynna replied. “Are we going to have cake after supper?”
“Uh-huh. And we gots a supwise for him, too, but I’m not apposed to say it’s stuff for him to take at college.”
“Well, don’t say it then,” Brynna replied with a grin.
“It’s not toys,” John added without enthusiasm.
“That’s probably a good thing,” Brynna replied, “because Tuck won’t have time to play with toys at college. At least I never did.”
“I’m taking my Game Boy,” Tuck interjected. “I have to have something to do besides study.”
“Can we play with your Game Boy now, Uncle Tuck?” John asked.
“After supper,” Melanie replied from her position at the grill.
John and Chandler jumped up and down in delighted anticipation. The steaks smelled incredible, and Brynna’s stomach growled.
“Have you received all of your grant forms and finished all the paperwork?” Brynna asked her brother. He had been accepted into a west-coast college and had received a couple of small grants, which would help. Brynna had done as much as she could to help with tuition, especially since Dev had been paying her school loans—with the agreement that she’d pay him back.
Her youngest brother nodded. “I got it all mailed.”
“I suppose I need to arrange my schedule so we can drive out there and look at the dorms,” she said.
“Dev is flying me out next week to look at an apartment and to find a part-time job,” he replied, the information catching her by surprise. “He is so cool.”
She looked at him in surprise and concern. “Tuck, the dorms are more affordable than an apartment, especially in California.”
Besides, she was worried about him being on his own, so far away from home. She’d feel better if he was living on campus.
“I might find someone to share the rent with when we get there. There will be notices posted in the registration building. Where is Dev, anyway?”
Brynna glanced at her watch. “I don’t know.”
Just then a siren split the silence. Down the street, Rumor’s only fire truck could be heard leaving the station.
Chandler jumped up and grabbed Tuck’s hand. “Let’s go see!”
Chapter Five
Melanie forked the steaks onto a platter. “I’ll take these in first, then join you out front.”
Brynna followed the boys to the end of the driveway, where they could watch as the fire truck turned onto the dirt road leading toward Logan’s Hill. The sky in that direction was dark with smoke.
“That looks really close,” Tuck observed, voicing Brynna’s own silent alarm.
“We could sure use some rain,” Melanie said, coming to stand beside the others. “This drought is getting serious.”
“News said there was a major storm front on the west coast, but it will probably blow out before it reaches us,” Frank said from the doorway, where he, too, studied the sky.
A sleek, black sports car pulled into the drive behind Brynna’s, and her brother Kurt got out and joined them.
Brynna gave him a hug. “I haven’t seen you for a while. Staying busy at the drugstore?”
“Always. I’m taking an online class, too, so my time’s at a premium.”
“What’s the class?”
“Music appreciation.”
Brynna smiled. Kurt was practical and had excelled at math, but he had a creative side and had composed music since he’d been in junior high. “Still play that guitar we found at the hock shop? You must have been in eighth grade.”
Kurt grinned. “Nothing wrong with it.”
Back inside, Frank took a bowl of salad greens from the refrigerator and they all sat at the dining room table, Devlin’s absence glaringly obvious.
Static burst from the police scanner, followed by a brief conversation between the truck and Reed Kingsley, the local fire chief. The fire truck had been dispatched to Logan’s Hill, outside town.
Brynna’s pager went off then, and she groaned. “Not already.”
She dreaded relying on the skills of her one ER rotation, but she was the only local doctor. Rather than the hospital, however, it was Dev’s number that appeared. “It’s Dev,” she said and got up to retrieve her phone from her purse in the other room.
He answered on the first ring. “Brynn?”
“Dev. Where are you?”
“Stuck in Washington. There’s a serious thunderstorm right now, and I’m grounded for at least another three hours.”
“Washington,” she said, irritation lacing her tone. “You’re supposed to be in Rumor. At the dinner table with the family right now. It’s Tuck’s birthday party.”
“I didn’t forget,” he said. “I can’t help it if the weather turned against me.” Static crackled as if to emphasize his logic.
“You’re incredible, blaming the weather for your lack of planning. You might have thought ahead before leaving for Washington. You didn’t tell me you were going.”
“I didn’t plan to. I had a chance to pick up a part for Sky Spirit, and the weather service didn’t predict anything like this. I know you’re disappointed. I had every intention of—”
“If you intended to be here, then you should have stayed and not flown off when you knew we had plans.”
“I had plenty of time.”
“Or you just didn’t care whether or not you got back in time.”
“Brynn, I said I was sorry. What more can I do now?”
“Sorry doesn’t fix a thing. You should have stayed. My whole family is here—except you—and my parents, of course. They never show up for anyone’s birthday, either.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it? My steak’s getting cold. I’ll see you when you get around to coming home.” She turned the phone off and tossed it into her purse.
Seeing her face, Melanie asked, “What did he say?”
Brynna took her seat. “He’s grounded in Washington.”
“I’ll bet he’ll really be grounded when you get ahold of him,” Tuck said, jokingly.
“I’m not his mother,” Brynna replied, not amused. “He can do whatever he da—” She glanced at the younger boys and picked up her fork. “Darn well pleases.”
After a few minutes of stilted conversation, Brynna lightened her mood for the sake of her little brother’s party and they finished their meal. After the dishes were done, Tuck opened his gifts, finding practical things, like laundry bags and towels from Melanie, an alarm clock and a Game Boy game from Kurt, and Brynna had purchased a laptop computer as a gift from herself and Devlin.
Tuck’s eyes lit up. He discarded the packing, plugging it in and figuring out how to use it. Within minutes he had it connected to the internet and was showing the boys children’s sites and places to download games.
“This is way cool, sis,” Tuck told her and gave her a hug. “Now I won’t have to go to the library or borrow someone’s PC. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Remember, there’s a word-processing program in there for your assignments, too.”
He grinned. She had always been the one to enforce homework and study time. Thank goodness, because he’d earned scholarships, just as she and Kurt had before him. Melanie was the only one who hadn’t been interested in school or college. She’d always single-mindedly wanted to get married.
Melanie sliced cake and Brynna scooped ice cream, Brynna was just starting to eat her portion when her beeper pulsed at her waist. Her pulse raced at the thought of Dev paging her, but this time it was the clinic. Brynna called to discover a fireman had been brought in with minor burns.
“What’s going on?” she asked Rae Ann.
“A fire started on Logan’s Hill,” her friend replied. “It’s spreading through the forest.”
“Oh, no.”
“And there’s more bad news.”
“What?” Brynna asked.
“Firefighters found two partially burned bodies where the fire started. So far, they haven’t released any names. But you’re the doctor on call.”
“I’ll be there.”
The firefighter wasn’t badly injured. After treating and releasing him, she drove home to an empty house. The spreading fire was a scary situation. She felt vulnerable and alone, and told herself her hormones were getting the best of her, because she never felt this way. When midnight rolled around, Dev had still not returned and she finally fell into a restless sleep.
Dev slid on his sunglasses against the June sun and studied the smoke rising from the horizon where firefighters still fought the blaze that had started the night before. Logan’s Hill was a good fifteen miles from the Holmes Ranch, so to be visible from here, the fire must be a serious threat.
He turned to unload cartons of new salt holders and grain feeders from the bed of his Ford Lariat pickup. Colby had decided that it was time to get the barn in shape and update its features before hay had to be cut and cattle rounded up come late summer and fall.
Unconsciously, Dev wondered if he’d still be working the ranch when fall came. So far the cowboy life suited him well. He’d learned a lot about training and caring for the horses, as well as the everyday tasks, and he was comfortable with the job. But the call of the wide-open sky was a lure he couldn’t resist, and when the itch to fly hit him, he had to take a few days off and scratch it. Did that make him irresponsible?
In the four days since his wife had blown him away with the news of her pregnancy, he’d been thinking a lot about responsibility. And after last night’s fiasco of missing Tuck’s birthday and getting the cold shoulder when he’d seen her this morning, he wondered all the more.
After stacking all the cartons inside the barn, he hung his hat, flipped open his pocketknife and opened the boxes. It took several minutes to find the proper tools and set about installing the feeders in the stalls, and the task gave him ample time to think.
He’d never considered himself irresponsible. But then, he didn’t have many responsibilities. He had attorneys who handled his investments and paid his taxes. He showed up for an occasional stockholders’ meeting and had to sign papers and approve decisions, but other than that, his time was his own. He didn’t want any part of his father’s business, even though he’d taken a lot of flack for not joining his father and older brother.
Over the past few years, he’d tried his hand at the lumber business, construction and now ranching—all outdoor jobs. It wasn’t that he hadn’t found anything he liked; it was that he liked everything and wanted to try it all.
But a man with a kid needed to be solid and dependable—needed to be there at all times. A trickle of perspiration rolled down his temple. Dev removed his shirt and used it to wipe his forehead. The role of a father was the last one he’d ever expected to fall into. Sure, he’d thought that someday he and Brynna would have kids…but that time had been far away in his obscure future—not in just thirty-two short weeks!
He was barely getting the hang of being a husband, let alone a dad to a small needy human being. The mere thought frightened the wits out of him. How could Brynna accept unexpected parenthood so serenely?
She knew what she wanted, he realized, and what she wanted included her medical career, a husband and a family. He hadn’t known he’d wanted a wife until he’d met her. And once he had, there hadn’t been a doubt in his mind that she was the one.
Maybe once he saw their baby—once the kid was real, he’d feel the same. He would know their child was what he wanted, too.
He’d thought they were going to have a couple of years to play at marriage and be newlyweds. There was so much he wanted to share with her—to show her—places she’d never been. She’d worked her way through medical school and had sacrificed for her brothers and sister, and she deserved some time to enjoy life. He could give her that.
Dev paused with his hand on a stall gate, realization flooding over him like a bright light. His wife wanted a family. A baby. He had already given her that. A completely male sense of pride accompanied that thought. So be it. Maybe parenthood was happening sooner than he’d had time to plan for, but it was happening, so he could appreciate that. He could be happy.
Brynna had seemed quiet and withdrawn the last couple of days, undoubtedly because of his reaction. He’d disappointed her. On top of that, he’d blown it by not showing up for Tuck’s party. She had a right to be mad.
She had to work late tonight, pull her Saturday-night shift at the clinic, but he would fix a late supper and surprise her with something special. He imagined her pleasure and her smile and knew everything would be okay. It had to be. The rift between them these past few days was unbearable, and he meant to fix it.
He’d finished turning the last screw and was filling the salt holders when a ringing sound caught his ear. Remembering he’d left his cell phone on the seat of the truck, he hurried outside. Brynna often called him when she had a few minutes, and he didn’t want to miss her call. The number on the caller ID indicated Rumor Family Clinic. “Hey, sweet thing,” he said into the phone.
“Thanks,” a voice replied. “But this is Rae Ann Benton. We just put Brynna in a bed and are getting ready to do an exam and an ultrasound.”
Dev’s chest felt like a horse had kicked it, and he struggled for a breath to ask, “What happened?”
His imagination conjured up all kinds of accidents and confrontations with unstable patients.
“Can’t say for sure yet, but it looks like she’s at risk of losing the baby.”
Dev’s heart dropped to his feet.
Chapter Six
“I’ll be right there.” Dev tossed the phone down, shrugged into his shirt and vaulted into the driver’s seat. He paused with his forehead on the steering wheel for a minute—collecting himself? Praying?
“Dev?” Ash McDonough, a ranch hand, paused in leading a horse toward the barn, halting the animal beside the truck.
Dev sat up and started the engine. “Tell Colby I had to go into town. I’ll call him.”
“Everything okay?” Ash asked. “Is this about the fire?”
“No, it’s my wife. I don’t know if everything’s okay.” The truck left a dust trail all the way down the drive. This was his fault because he hadn’t been more supportive. And he’d upset her last night. No, that was nuts. Everything was going to be all right. Brynna wanted this baby more than anything, and nothing was going to happen. He wanted this baby, too, he realized, and panic made his heart hammer. It would be okay. Brynna was at the clinic. They would know what to do. She would know what to do—she was a doctor!
The drive was interminable—when he finally reached the clinic and parked haphazardly in a tow zone, he shoved open the glass doors and ran to the desk. After being directed, he hurtled past nurses and carts to the room indicated. Brynna was lying on a bed behind a green curtain, still wearing her scrubs, an IV in the back of her hand.
Dev rushed to her side and placed his hand on her knee which was covered by a thin white blanket. “Is everything okay?” he asked.
A tear squeezed from the corner of her eye, and she pressed her pale lips together before saying in a shaky voice. “No.”
Heart thundering, careful of the needle in her hand, he rested his palm on her arm. “Tell me.”
“I’m losing the baby, Dev.”
Oh, Lord. Dev was stunned speechless. Why? Why had this happened? A million thoughts tumbled for prominence in his head, the one first and fore most being her devastation at this loss. “Can’t they do something?”
She shook her head. “My cervix is dilated, and the ultrasound showed the—” she stumbled over the word “—fetus is not alive.”
She wiped tears away with her other hand. “This early in pregnancy, it’s known as spontaneous abortion. Sort of a natural selection process, probably a chromosomal or genetic abnormality. Or it’s possible my body didn’t produce adequate hormones or that I had an immune reaction to the embryo.”
Dev listened to her medical explanation, understanding it, and yet not relating the terminology to the baby they’d been expecting. “I’m so sorry,” he said softly, inadequately, his mind numb.
Her lower lip quivered, and he leaned forward to hold her where she lay. She wrapped her free arm around his neck and hugged him tightly.
“We’ll get through this,” he assured her, feeling helpless.
“I know.” Her words were muffled against his damp shirt. “It’s just…no matter how professional I try to be…”
“You don’t have to be professional,” he told her. “It was our baby.” He leaned away to look at her and smooth her hair from her face.
She laid her head back against the pillows and blinked up at him, tears on her lashes. God, it hurt to see her like this.
“I thought we’d have a baby for Christmas,” she said. “I was going to make stockings for the three of us.”
An ache lodged in Dev’s heart and he wanted to shed tears with her. He didn’t. He forced himself to be the strong one. He tried to think of something— anything—to comfort her. “We’ll have another baby,” he promised.
She nodded, obviously uncomforted, and it had been a lame attempt anyway. The idea of a baby had begun to grow on him, and if he felt this awful—as if a knife was twisting his guts—she must feel worse. He felt so bad—for her and for him, and in desperation he sought words to comfort her, to make her see beyond this tragic moment. He had to fix this.
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