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Best Friend...Future Wife
Claire Baxter


Della has always been in love with her childhood friend Luke, with his charming smile and his gorgeous gray eyes. Trouble is, Luke's only ever wanted to be friends. And when he moved overseas she lost even that. Then Luke unexpectedly returns home, and lights up Della's world all over again.Della must make an agonizing decision–reveal her true feelings to Luke and risk rejection, or keep them hidden forever, never knowing what they could have had…









Best Friend…Future Wife

Claire Baxter













www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


For Raelene—for the constant encouragement

and unconditional friendship




CONTENTS


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

EPILOGUE




CHAPTER ONE


‘PLEASE don’t let it be Tom,’ Della Davis muttered when her mobile phone rang.

She reached into her handbag with one hand and skilfully steered the car around the corner with the other. She didn’t need another call from Tom Dermont, client from hell. She’d spent most of the day dealing with him, and he’d turned her mind to mush.

After coming to a standstill in the side street, she delved deeper into the large leather bag. Retrieving the phone from the very bottom, she steeled herself to see the caller’s ID. If it was Tom again, she’d scream. Better yet, she’d resign.

The phone stopped ringing as she flipped it open. Great. She closed it with a snap and dropped it into her lap, sorely tempted to switch it off. But her conscience wouldn’t let her. Nor would she resign. She had too much to lose, including the promotion she’d worked so hard for.

Still, she’d had enough of Tom for one day—her least favourite person at the best of times and, in a PR crisis like today’s, her worst nightmare.

‘Remind me why I love my job,’ she said out loud.

Silence was the only response, and she shrugged, wincing at the stiffness in her shoulders. She needed a relaxing soak in her favourite lavender-scented bath foam.

Rolling her shoulders slowly, she pictured herself collapsing into bed…but not to sleep. Not to do anything normal people did in bed. Fat chance. She’d brought piles of work home, and she’d be sitting up with it till she fell asleep on the laptop. Again.

A beep from the phone made Della jump. Accessing her voicemail, she sighed with relief at the sound of her best friend’s bright tones. She rang Lyn straight back. Just what she needed. The perfect antidote for the way she felt.

Lyn answered on the first ring. ‘I’m in the car,’ she said.

Della heard the familiar background track of Jamie, aged four, singing at the top of his voice and Cassie, six months, drowning him out with her wails.

‘I have big news,’ Lyn said.

Della rolled her eyes, but smiled at Lyn’s excitement. ‘Where are we going this time?’

‘Where are we going?’

‘I have more than enough shoes, Lynnie, so I hope it’s not another—’

‘No, no. It’s not a sale. Not this time. Luke’s coming home. For good.’

It took a moment for Lyn’s words to register. Della blinked at the phone. ‘What did you say?’

‘Shock, isn’t it? Good one, though. I can’t wait to see him.’

Too stunned to speak, Della wondered what she’d done to deserve this. On top of everything else. Today of all days.

‘Shock’ was an understatement. Oh, she’d known Luke would come home one day. He’d always said he wouldn’t stay overseas for ever. But she’d expected to have some notice. Time to prepare herself before seeing him again. With his wife.

‘Dell, hon? Are you there?’

Della snapped out of her trance. After years of hiding her feelings from Lyn, the last thing she needed was to give herself away now.

‘Coming home?’ Her voice sounded almost normal. ‘You mean he and Yvonne are going to live here?’

‘Had enough of living in India, apparently. Moving back to little old Adelaide and his loving family.’ Lyn laughed. ‘Incredible, isn’t it?’

‘It’s—’ Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She tried again. ‘When?’

‘You know my brother,’ Lyn said. ‘Loves his surprises, doesn’t he? He rang from Melbourne while waiting for a connecting flight. So, Mum wants you there for dinner tonight.’

‘Tonight…’ Della’s brain had gone into overload. It simply couldn’t cope. She didn’t know what to say.

‘I’m on my way to Mum’s now. Seven-thirty sharp. Okay?’

‘But…’ Della glanced at the digital display on the dashboard. ‘I won’t have time to get home and back again.’

‘So don’t. Come straight over. I’ve got some margarita mix and tequila on the seat next to me. I’ll have a drink mixed and ready for you. I know how stressed you are after a day at work.’

‘Not every day,’ she murmured, while toying with the idea of declining. She couldn’t. Lyn’s mum had been more of a mother than her own ever had. She’d never disobeyed a summons from Dawn yet, and she wouldn’t start now.

But. Luke. Would. Be. There.

‘Oh, cripes. I forgot,’ Lyn said. ‘Here I am rabbiting on and…’ Her tone changed, became softer. ‘You had your appointment today, didn’t you?’

The sympathy she heard in Lyn’s voice made Della’s breath catch in her chest.

‘Yes,’ she squeezed out.

And there’d been no time afterwards to lick her wounds. Her workload hadn’t allowed for such self-indulgence.

‘Dell, hon, what did the doctor say?’

The knowledge was too new. Too raw. ‘Not yet,’ she said. ‘I’ll tell you later.’

Jamie’s voice filled Della’s ear for a moment, then Lyn said, ‘I’ll make it a large margarita.’

Della clicked off the phone and dropped it into her bag. She needed that drink. Tom Dermont. Dr Morgan. Now Luke and Yvonne. What a day.

She had to pull herself together. It was lucky she was wearing one of her best business suits and had some makeup in her bag. She’d be presentable, at least. And it wasn’t as though Luke had any inkling how she felt about him. She’d never made a fool of herself in front of him before and she wouldn’t today.

She reached for the ignition, then hesitated, biting her lip. She couldn’t do this. A fluttering sensation rose from her chest to her throat.

No. She wouldn’t give in to anxiety.

She could do this. She was a crisis expert—the one her firm counted on to bring composure to chaos. She simply had to put on her work face, her mask.

Just like she had when he’d been over on his occasional visits during the last decade or so.

Just like she had when he’d brought his new bride home to meet the family a few years ago. She’d smiled and congratulated him as if she really had felt nothing more than a sisterly affection for him.

She’d fooled them then, she could do it again.

If only she’d had more time to get used to the idea of seeing the two of them together, living here.

Turning the car, she headed east. Lyn’s parents lived in the same impressive house in the same leafy street in the same prestigious suburb where Lyn and Luke had grown up. A far cry from Della’s own childhood home—not quite a slum, but only one step up.

Her own parents were blue-collar working class. Occasionally. Most of the time they were lazy slobs, and Della could hardly believe she possessed any of their genes. They’d hated her friendship with Lyn and the ‘big ideas’ it had given her. What was so crazy about going to university and getting a well-paid job? She’d shown them, hadn’t she?

She sighed. Even now, when they’d gone from her life for good, she still felt she had something to prove—she just didn’t know what.

As a teenager, she’d spent every spare minute at Lyn’s house. She loved it. It was a happy home. Not just because the Brayfords had money, but because Dawn and Frank Brayford had a genuine interest in their children. And they’d treated her like one of them. She’d had more support and encouragement from the Brayfords than she’d ever had from her folks.

After parking in the street outside the Brayford family home, Della sat for a moment, gathering her defences. Luke wouldn’t be there yet, so she had nothing to fear. Not that she feared Luke. It was her own emotions that frightened her.

Thirteen years. Had it really been so long since he’d left Adelaide to take up his dream job? Why hadn’t her feelings diminished in all that time? She’d expected to get over him. She’d intended to. But here she was, thirteen years later, feeling her stomach swish at the prospect of seeing him again.

It was hard to believe he was coming home to live. Settling down wasn’t in his nature or, at least, it never had been. Maybe this was his wife’s doing, although she hadn’t seemed the type to want Luke’s parents involved in her life.

Della wondered whether Lyn had got the wrong end of the stick. Or maybe Dawn, in her excitement, had read too much into his words. This was just another visit, surely?

But then it crossed Della’s mind that he and his wife might be starting a family. The thought twisted her insides. Her stomach tried to squeeze its way into her throat.

She breathed. Deep, slow breaths.

In that case, the move was not so difficult to understand. Adelaide was the perfect place to raise a family. And, if it turned out she was right, she’d just have to get on with her life. She could do it, even if it tore her apart inside.

Calmer, she climbed out of the Mercedes sports car, locking the door, though in this locality it didn’t stand out. Luxury cars were the norm rather than the exception.

Not prone to whims, she prided herself on carefully considering a financial commitment—any kind of commitment—but the car had taken her by surprise. In an unguarded moment, she’d fallen hopelessly in love. One look, one touch and she’d been hooked.

With a rueful smile she admitted it had been just the same with Luke, then she straightened her shoulders and turned into the front garden.

Lyn opened the front door. ‘You should see the kitchen,’ she said with a shake of her head. ‘Mum’s trying to make every one of Luke’s favourite dishes. I know it’ll be great to see him, but honestly…’

As Della entered the house, Lyn jerked a thumb towards a door off the spacious foyer. ‘Come into the lounge. I’ve made you a drink like I promised.’

‘Perhaps I should offer to help Dawn?’ Della flicked an uncertain glance towards the kitchen door.

‘Uh-uh.’ Lyn tugged at her arm. ‘She wants to spoil her favourite son, and the best thing we can do is leave her to it.’

Della allowed Lyn to drag her into the comfortable lounge. As she sat on a sofa, Lyn handed her the biggest margarita she’d ever seen.

‘Where did you find this glass? Are you sure it’s not a vase?’

Lyn shrugged. ‘If it is, it’s one of a matching pair.’ She picked up its mate and took a sip. ‘Mmm. I make a mean margarita.’

Della sipped and had to agree. Just enough lime to make her tongue curl, and plenty of tequila.

‘I know you don’t want to talk about the doc now,’ Lyn said, lowering herself cautiously onto the low sofa opposite, drink in hand. ‘But I want you to know, I’m here for you when you’re ready. Any time. Day or night. I’m usually up with Cassie anyway.’

‘I know, and I will talk to you, but I need time to take it in first. What about a night out this week? We can talk and eat.’

‘Excellent idea. I’ll check when Patrick can watch the kids. I’ll try for tomorrow night.’ Her face creased with concern. ‘Will that be too soon?’

Della shook her head. Hopefully, she’d have a few minutes to herself in the next twenty-four hours. Quiet time to think. To accept.

A wail reached them. ‘Bummer,’ Lyn said with a sigh. ‘Cassie’s awake and right on cue. I hoped she’d sleep through dinner.’

‘Where’s Jamie?’

‘With Dad in his den, looking at model planes. I’d better go and see to Cassie.’

Della watched her leave, before placing her drink on an end table and taking the opportunity to nip into the nearest bathroom. Fixing her make-up, she thought for the millionth time that she was lucky to have Lyn as her friend. She’d always felt that way. Ever since the day at the beach when they’d been fourteen and Lyn had come to her rescue, paying for the fish and chips Della had ordered before finding she didn’t have enough money for them. Rigid with embarrassment, she’d stood by while Lyn had stepped in, paid for her order, insisted on buying her a cold drink, and stayed by her side for the rest of the day.

Della shook her head. That day was as clear to her as if it had happened yesterday. Lyn probably didn’t even remember it.

Before parting from her new friend, Della had made a careful note of her address, intending to repay her as soon as she could scrape together the money. But, when she’d finally made it, she’d stood at the wrought-iron gate, too scared to press down on the heavy catch.

Then Luke had arrived. To her, he’d seemed much more than one year older. He had such a physical presence even then. Muscular from playing football. Tall. Of course, it didn’t help that she was such a tiny thing. He’d towered over her and would have scared her if not for his smile. That mind-melting, breath-stealing, knee-weakening smile.

Della sighed and tossed the make-up into her bag. Emerging from the bathroom, she heard a commotion near the front door.

‘It’s a taxi. It’s them!’

Della recognised the voice as Lyn’s younger sister, Megan. Poppy, the baby of the family at twenty-five, called to her mother and Dawn’s excited voice joined the mix.

Della didn’t go to them. Time for family. Real family. As inclusive as they’d always been, she wasn’t real family. Back in the lounge, she picked up her glass and made for the French doors which opened to an expansive deck. She leaned on the waist-high balustrade and sipped her drink while gazing down on the established garden. Dense shrubs screened out the neighbours, and low-growing plants packed the curving flower beds. She’d always loved this garden. So different from the weed-infested lawn and corrugated fencing of her parents’ place. She soaked up the sense of peace the garden offered. She needed it more than ever.

‘There you are, Shrimp.’

Della gave a violent start, sending a minor flood of margarita onto the lawn below. Luke’s deep and teasing voice was unmistakeable. It had the same effect on her it always had, making her nerves jump to attention, ready to react to every provocative word he said. She turned.

Oh God, he looked amazing. The last time she’d seen him, his dark-blond hair had been short, but he’d changed jobs since then and his hair had grown past his collar. More like the young Luke. Casual. She guessed appearances didn’t matter so much now he wasn’t on TV any more.

His smile widened as he observed the so-called glass in her hand. Her hand tightened, as did her stomach. That killer smile had no doubt served him well. Even a hardened, gun-toting rebel couldn’t refuse an interview when faced with such a smile.

His warm grey eyes twinkled as he raised them to her face. ‘You must be thirsty,’ he said.

Suppressing the urge to fling herself at him, she shrugged. ‘Stress relief,’ she said, regretting the words the moment they left her lips. Even more so when he frowned.

‘A hard day at work,’ she said quickly.

His frown deepened. ‘Don’t you like your job?’

‘Yes, of course I do. You don’t need me to tell you work can be stressful, no matter how much you enjoy it.’

He should know if anyone did. For ten years as a foreign correspondent, he’d travelled the world’s hot spots, mainly in Asia, covering stories of conflict and disaster. He’d pioneered solo-journalism, working completely alone, travelling and reporting without a crew, carrying a backpack of portable digital technology to shoot, write, edit and transmit multimedia reports. He hadn’t chased headlines or taken part in pack journalism, but had specialised in pursuing stories that were not getting mainstream news coverage and putting a human face to them.

Della lifted the glass and gulped a mouthful of margarita. Too much. When she’d managed to swallow it, she said, ‘Well, anyway, what about you? How are you?’

‘Fine.’ He watched her for a moment. ‘So where’s my kiss? My hug? I’ve had them from everyone else. I haven’t been around for a while, in case you haven’t noticed.’

‘Oh. Yes.’ Leaning forward, she gave him an awkward, one-armed hug while she held the glass well out of the way.

He hugged her back, tighter than necessary. She could feel the heat of his body through his shirt, and a heat of a different kind rushed through her own body. It reminded her what it was like to be—to feel—attracted to a man. Then he kissed her on the cheek. She pulled away in a hurry.

His grin gave her the impression he knew why. But he couldn’t. There’d never been anything physical between them. Never. Not even the suggestion of an attraction. He couldn’t possibly know.

She let her gaze slide over his face. His nose still had the slight kink in the middle from the time Lyn had dared him to skateboard down a handrail. Lyn had blamed herself when he’d landed face-first on the concrete steps. She should have known better than to issue a challenge to Luke. He’d never backed away from a challenge. Not then. Not later.

He intercepted her gaze and held it. ‘You look great, Shrimp. Not a day older than when I first left.’

She couldn’t say the same for him. The dangerous and outdoor life he’d led had added plenty of lines around his eyes. Lines that creased deeply when he smiled. But that wasn’t a bad thing. Age had added character to a face she would once have called perfect.

She gave a tiny snort. ‘Don’t they have opticians where you’ve been living?’

He ignored her question. ‘I like what you’ve done with your hair. Short suits you. It’s sophisticated.’

‘For a shrimp?’

‘It wasn’t short last time I came over, was it?’

‘No, I only had it cut recently.’ Not that he’d have noticed on that trip three years ago, she thought. He’d had eyes for no one but his new wife. She doubted her own presence had even registered with him.

He hadn’t shaved in a while, probably on account of the long flight. On him, the look wasn’t so much scruffy as sexy. Her nerve endings twitched again. Her reaction to Luke contrasted sharply with the antipathy she’d felt for the men she’d dated over the last few years. She’d almost had to force herself to take a physical interest, and had begun to think she wasn’t capable of it. This was a bad time to find out she was.

Suddenly feeling overdressed in her business suit next to Luke’s torn jeans and battered denim jacket, her eyes widened. ‘Is that the same jacket you had when we were kids?’

He nodded. ‘I wondered if you’d recognise it.’

‘Your job must pay poorly if you can’t afford some decent clothes.’ Since he’d given up the journalism and taken up running an orphanage, she guessed he’d taken a big drop in salary. But he would never be poor. His grandfather had left a trust fund that would see him through.

He shrugged. ‘I won’t part with this jacket. It has sentimental value.’

She gave him a sceptical look, and he laughed. ‘Plus, it’s comfortable.’

‘And comfort clearly ranks highly in your world. Why else would you hike through the mountains of Afghanistan—?’

‘Now Luke, you’re not teasing Della, are you?’

Della turned towards Dawn as she joined them on the deck.

‘We had enough of these games when you were kids,’ Dawn said.

‘Actually, I’ve complimented her new hairstyle.’ He slid an arm around his mother’s waist and hugged her to his side. ‘But she doesn’t believe she looks gorgeous.’

Dawn beamed up at him. ‘I don’t blame her, considering how you used to torment her. But it is lovely, isn’t it?’ She turned back to study Della. ‘I think it makes her look like Audrey Hepburn.’

‘As if.’ Della laughed. ‘You’re deluded, Dawn. And you, Luke, are the last person I’d believe.’

She was proud of herself. She sounded cool, calm and collected. No one would guess she felt the complete opposite. No one would know she’d spent more than half her life comparing every man who’d come near her with this one, rejecting every one of them because they fell short of her ideal.

‘I thought you were bringing Yvonne with you,’ Dawn said to Luke. ‘You haven’t left her back in India, have you?’

Luke’s gaze slid away for a moment. When he looked back, his expression was blank.

‘Yes, she’s still there as far as I know. I’ll explain when we’re all together.’

Curiosity sparked in Dawn’s eyes. ‘Well, let’s eat,’ she said. ‘Come through to the dining room.’

As they took their places around the large oak dining-table, Della wished she really did belong to this family. This was what she’d always wanted for her own children—a home filled with warmth and laughter.

She looked down, spreading the linen napkin across her lap and fighting the sting in her eyes.

No chance of that now.




CHAPTER TWO


‘ARE you really home to stay?’ Poppy said through a mouthful of salad.

Luke looked at his little sister. He found it hard to believe that she’d grown up so much since he’d last seen her. ‘How many times do I have to say it?’ he said with feigned exasperation.

‘Yeah, I know, but really?’ Poppy said. ‘Won’t you be bored?’

Luke shrugged. ‘Don’t think so.’

‘But there are no wars around here. Nothing bad ever happens in Adelaide.’

‘Thank God for it,’ Dawn said. ‘We are very lucky to live in one of the safest cities on earth. I should think Luke’s had quite enough of war and poverty and the like. If he has the sense he was born with, he’ll want to stay well away from all of that.’

He smiled at his mother. She’d never missed an opportunity to tell him he was crazy for choosing to make his home where he had. But she’d never criticised him either. Though she couldn’t understand his choices, she’d always respected his right to make them.

Both his parents had. His gaze drifted to his father. His salt-and-pepper hair was now almost all salt. He hoped he hadn’t caused him too much worry over the years.

Next to their father, his sister Megan was deep in discussion with their brother-in-law, Patrick. It seemed Lyn’s marriage had not only survived, but thrived. His gaze moved on to Lyn, the baby in her arms and her son at her side. His niece and nephew. He’d have time to get to know them better now, and he fully intended to.

Skinny Lynnie, as he’d always called her, had gained weight. It suited her. She caught his eye and gave him a cheeky wink. He grinned back. So close in age, they’d been more like best friends than brother and sister. All three of them, in fact. His gaze shifted to Della, the third member of their little gang.

If he thought his sisters had changed, he couldn’t find words to describe the transformation in Della. She was still small and slender, but more confident. More sure of herself and her appeal. She looked…serene. As if nothing could ruffle her. And she exuded femininity. Her beautifully cut, very short hair showed off great cheekbones, and he liked the way her neck curved above the collar of her business jacket. In the past, it had been hidden by a swathe of long, dark hair which had often fallen across her face. A shield between her and the world.

She must have grown out of her shyness to have cut her hair. Well, it had never really been shyness. More like embarrassment for who she was and where she’d come from.

Della lifted her head to look at Lyn and her eyes nearly knocked him out. Large, dark and slightly slanted. She’d accentuated their shape with make-up, and he had to admit her eyes were a striking feature without the long hair obscuring them.

He continued to watch her, couldn’t bring himself to look away. She smiled as she chatted to Lyn, fussed over Jamie, teased Poppy. But her eyes…They didn’t smile. He could almost believe she was sad. But why, when she seemed to have everything going for her?

Not grieving for her parents, surely? They didn’t deserve a second thought from her. His gut tightened. A whole raft of memories came flooding back. Amongst other things, he remembered his mother taking Della to the doctor and telling him later that Della’s small size was a result of malnutrition during her formative years.

In recent times, he’d seen plenty of children suffering from malnutrition, and it made his blood boil to think it had happened to Della and here, in Australia, one of the more affluent countries in the world. He knew his own parents had considered initiating adoption proceedings, but something must have gone wrong. They would have adopted her if they could.

As he watched her, Della smiled down at Jamie. When her lips parted and she moistened them with the tip of her tongue, Luke experienced a subtle shift in his stomach. It felt a lot like sexual attraction, but it couldn’t be.

‘So what are you going to do, son?’

Luke jerked his gaze from Della and leaned back in his chair as he focused on his father. ‘About what?’

‘Work.’

He smiled. ‘I’ve had a job offer.’

‘You have?’ Frank mopped at his mouth with his napkin.

He nodded. ‘It’s not finalised yet, so I don’t want to say much about it, but it’s with the charity I’ve been working for in India.’

‘And it’s here in Adelaide?’

‘Yes.’

A clatter drew Luke’s eyes to Della again, and he saw her cheeks grow pink as she retrieved her fork from the floor.

‘Talking of jobs, Shrimp, when are you going to desert the enemy?’

The colour in her cheeks deepened. ‘Enemy?’

‘Okay, enemy is a bit strong.’ He shrugged. ‘But you public relations people, you’re the gatekeepers. The ones who stop hard-working journos like me from getting at the nitty gritty.’

She frowned. ‘Without PR people like me, you journos would have to work a hell of a lot harder. We do most of the work for you by providing all the information you need.’

‘All the information you want us to have, you mean.’

‘Without us, you’d have to get off your backsides and look for the stories yourselves.’ She felt a stab of guilt at using this old argument against Luke, who could never be accused of taking the easy way out. He was far removed from that type, but she was on the defensive. She went on. She couldn’t help herself.

‘The vast majority of items in the news have been initiated by PR, whether in-house specialists or external consultants—’

‘Oh, I admit there are some lazy journos around. Some of them should be ashamed of themselves. They regurgitate a press release and put their by-line on it. No, I’m referring to those of us who care about getting at the truth, and who find our way blocked by PR people tidying up the messes left by their corporate clients.’

‘Now, now, Luke,’ Dawn said, wagging a finger at him. ‘You know he doesn’t mean it, Della. He’s trying to get you to bite, like he always did. Ignore him.’ She turned back to Luke. ‘Della is very good at her job so you leave her alone. She’s in line for a big promotion, too. Very highly thought of, our Della.’

‘And you’re not even a journalist any more,’ Lyn piped up. ‘You haven’t been for what, three years?’

He smiled. ‘But I’m still allowed to defend the profession.’

His mother was half right. Though he did enjoy teasing Della, he was semi-serious. He didn’t like to think of her on the side of some of the corporate creeps he’d encountered over the years. But this wasn’t the time or place to bring that subject up. He grinned at Della, and her lovely mouth gave him an answering smile before she turned away to help Jamie cut his meat.

‘You said you would explain about Yvonne,’ Dawn said. ‘Is she travelling alone? Or will you be going back for her? What’s going on?’

‘Ah.’ He took a mouthful of wine and let the rich, fruity flavour swirl around his mouth before swallowing. He put down the glass and leaned his elbows on the table, linking his hands. ‘I’m afraid I have some news. Yvonne and I have broken up. She won’t be coming here.’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t know where she is right now, and to be honest I don’t care.’

He looked down at his plate while a silence settled over the table, each person absorbing his news. His grip tightened. It wasn’t news to him but it was still difficult to talk about.

‘You’re getting divorced?’ his mother asked eventually.

‘Yes. It’s already underway.’

‘But this is so sudden. Your last email said you were both fine.’

He grimaced. ‘Well, we were. We just weren’t together. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it’s been over for a while.’

‘Have you tried counselling?’

‘No.’ He snorted. ‘Believe me, there’s no point.’

‘Oh, Luke. What happened? You were so in love. I remember thinking when you brought Yvonne to meet us that I’d never seen you so happy.’

‘Mum, I’d rather not go into the details. We weren’t meant to be together. That’s all there is to it. Just accept it’s over, okay?’

Dawn hesitated. ‘Of course, but I’m so sorry. Still, if it had to happen, it’s a blessing you didn’t have any children.’

Luke’s jaw clenched, a muscle twitched. ‘I don’t consider that a blessing.’

With a sigh, he reached for his glass and drank the remaining wine. He hadn’t intended to go there. He didn’t want to expose his emotions to the scrutiny of others, even his family, as much as he loved them.

His mother broke the tense silence. ‘Where are your bags? Did you leave them at the airport?’

‘No, they’re at the hotel. I checked in on the way here.’

‘Hotel? Why would you want to stay at a hotel when you have a perfectly good room here?’

‘I didn’t want to put you to the trouble, especially as I sprung my visit on you.’

‘Rubbish. What’s this house for if not for our family? Check out of the hotel tomorrow and move in here. You need to be where we can look after you.’

Luke smiled, but shook his head. He didn’t need or want looking after. He’d managed on his own for years. He was used to it. If his marriage had taught him anything, it was that he was better off alone.



Later, instead of lingering over coffee and home-made chocolate mints as she was tempted to do, Della pushed back her chair. ‘I’m sorry to rush off, but I have to do some work tonight.’

‘Work?’ Dawn asked. ‘You work too hard. Are you sure you have to?’

‘Afraid so,’ she said. ‘We have a crisis we’re dealing with at the moment.’

‘Not the Dermont Chemicals fire?’ Frank said. ‘I heard about it on the radio.’

She nodded. ‘That’s the one. Tom Dermont is my client. Lucky me.’

‘I hope they appreciate how much you do after hours,’ Dawn said. ‘But I doubt it.’

Luke leapt from his seat. ‘Hey, you can give me a lift,’ he said. ‘Just into the city. Okay?’

Damn. Work was only part of the reason she had to leave. She needed to get away from Luke. The effort of pretending not to care had made her chest ache. The news of his divorce had made it worse, and she wasn’t sure which was stronger—sympathy for his obvious pain or relief that he was free again. She felt shamed that it might be relief.

‘Um, do you really want to leave so soon?’ Della glanced at Dawn, hoping she’d press him to stay longer.

‘I expect you’re exhausted after all the travelling,’ Dawn said, rising to give her son a hug.

So much for that idea. In the confusion of goodbye hugs and kisses, Della slipped out to the car. Her head was spinning with all she’d heard. Not only his divorce, but the fact he’d be living and working here in Adelaide.

Not that any of it made a difference to her position. On the contrary, she was as determined as ever to keep her feelings hidden. She wouldn’t risk ruining a friendship she valued when he was clearly hurting and needing his friends. Once she’d absorbed everything that had happened today and had a good night’s sleep, she’d be ready, willing and able to be his friend. Though he hadn’t admitted it, and maybe he didn’t even know it, she was sure a big part of his homecoming was a need for emotional support.

‘Thought you’d left without me,’ Luke said as he opened the passenger door and slid in. ‘Nice car. Very nice. You have good taste, Shrimp.’

She started the engine of the silver convertible. ‘What did you think I’d have—a Volvo? Nice and safe?’

He laughed. ‘I can’t say I’ve ever thought about it, but if I had I’d have pegged you as having a…Mini.’

‘A Mini!’

‘A shrimp car.’

‘Oh, shut up.’

‘Nice driving,’ he commented after a few moments.

‘Thanks.’ She enjoyed driving. It was one of the things she was good at. Which probably explained why she’d been lured by the car.

‘So, what happened to your ideals, Della?’

‘My ideals?’

‘The ones we talked about when we were at university. You were just as keen to fix the world as I was.’

‘I was young and silly and thought I knew everything.’

‘Now you’re old and silly and know you know nothing?’

She gave him a sideways glance. ‘Something like that.’ She’d never been as focused as Luke. She’d admired the strength of his convictions, but had been more interested in creating a firm financial foundation for herself than in changing a world that didn’t want to be changed. ‘Where do you want me to drop you?’

He stared at their surroundings for a moment. ‘North Terrace,’ he said, before turning back to face her. ‘It would be good to catch up. It’s been a while since we hung out together.’

She heard a wistful undertone. ‘A while? It’s been ages.’

‘You’re not wrong. What about tomorrow? You could skip work for a day.’

‘I wish I could but I have a crisis, remember?’

‘Ah, yes. Dermont’s. A shining example of corporate social responsibility. Tomorrow night?’

She shook her head. ‘I’m going out with Lyn. Hopefully.’

‘Hopefully?’

‘If Patrick can watch the kids.’

‘The night after, then?’

‘I’ll have to keep it open in case Lyn needs to reschedule.’

She focused on manoeuvering the car into the kerb. It wasn’t a good place to stop, and he opened the door without delay.

‘Thanks,’ he said over his shoulder. ‘Have a good night.’

As soon as he closed the door, she set off towards the sea and her haven. Though she tried not to, she glanced repeatedly at her rear-view mirror, searching for a final glimpse of him before he disappeared from sight. It had taken all her energy to keep up the pretence tonight. She didn’t remember it being so difficult on his previous visits.

Just for an instant, she wondered if there was a chance she’d ever be able to reveal her true feelings. Now he was divorced and home to stay, what was there to stop her?

Friendship.

He’d been head over heels when he’d brought Yvonne to meet his family. Besotted. She wouldn’t be surprised if he still loved her. If so, the last thing he needed was Della confessing her secrets and adding to his confusion.

For now that was true, but what about the future?

She clamped down on the thought. She had no business thinking about the future when she’d already accepted her priority was to be a friend to Luke.

But could they pick up their friendship where they’d left off? Or would there be a distance between them that hadn’t existed before he’d gone overseas?

On his brief visits back home, he’d been elusive, distracted. Passing through, nothing more. Thinking about his last story, his next story, not staying in one spot long enough to talk or, as he put it, hang out. Later, the one and only time he’d brought his wife home, he’d had no time or thought for anyone but Yvonne.

They had heaps of catching up to do. A hell of a lot had happened in his life. But a great deal had happened to her too, and nothing she wanted to discuss. Just for starters, her illness and its consequences would be off-limits. Even with him back, and apparently ready to settle down, things could never be quite the same as before.



The next morning, Della awoke with a headache. A certain smile had invaded her dreams, wrecking the small amount of sleep she’d had. After showering and dressing, she felt almost human. Despite the headache, she did feel better than she had the night before. She poured a glass of orange juice and made her way out to the front verandah from where she had a panoramic view of Gulf St Vincent. A rich turquoise sea met a deep blue, cloudless spring sky.

A small public lawn area separated her front garden from the sandy beach. The road didn’t reach this far, a leftover from the days when the heritage-listed house had been built. She eased herself into the swing-seat suspended from the iron framework of the verandah and sipped the chilled juice while she thought about the previous day.

If Luke was going to be living and working here, she wouldn’t be able to avoid him. Nor did she want to. Given the choice between never seeing him again, or loving him and having to hide it, she’d choose to put herself through the agony of being near him. Of course she would.

She’d learned as a child that it was not only possible but essential to conceal the truth if it would do no good to display it. This didn’t make her dishonest, just very good at burying her feelings.

Last night had confirmed she was as strongly attracted to Luke now as ever but, more important than that, she was Luke’s oldest friend. As far as she knew, he hadn’t kept in touch with any of his old mates from school or footy. And if he needed to talk about his marriage break-up, his oldest friend had a duty to be there for him. And she would.

If he still loved his wife—and she suspected he did—he’d be suffering dreadfully. She’d certainly seen flashes of pain cross his eyes when he’d broken the news to his family. He was the type to make light of his feelings, so the fact he hadn’t been able to hide how much he hurt made her heart ache for him.

If it would help him to talk about Yvonne, she’d listen. The next time he asked her to hang out, she wouldn’t make excuses. She’d force her feelings back into their box and do what she had to do.

Raucous squawks from seagulls drew her head up, and she watched the birds circling for a minute before she stood to go inside. Much as she’d like to stay, she had no time to waste. She had a media conference to organise.



On the way from the basement car park to her office, Della stopped by Reception to greet Bonnie and check for messages.

Bonnie, framed by floral arrangements, sat behind a curved jarrah desk. ‘Hi, Della. Marvin’s been looking for you.’

‘Already? Is he in his office?’

‘Mmm. Jason’s in there too.’

‘Is he?’ Neither her boss, Marvin, nor her assistant could claim to be early starters. This crisis must have freaked them. She hurried to drop a pile of files on her desk, plonked down her briefcase and handbag, then headed along the passageway to Marvin’s corner office. With no sign of his secretary, Della knocked on his door and entered.

‘Here she is,’ Marvin said, consulting his watch. ‘Della, we have a problem with this media conference today.’

‘A problem?’ She took a seat next to Jason, who flashed her a brief smile.

‘Tom Dermont rang me at home this morning. Apparently, your mobile was switched off.’ He raised his eyebrows.

‘I had a headache—’

‘Never mind that now.’ He waved a hand in front of his face as if swatting her words away. ‘The point is, he wants to front the media.’

Della closed her eyes. ‘Dear God.’

‘Exactly. What the—?’ He ran a finger around his shirt collar. ‘What the flaming heck are you going to do about it?’

Stifling her gut reaction to panic, she took a deep breath. ‘I’ll talk to him, Marvin,’ she said in a level voice.

‘Talk to him? You’ll need a jackhammer to get through his thick skull.’ He glanced at the door, as if afraid he’d been overheard. ‘Do it quickly. And let me know how it goes.’ He picked up his phone and Della stood to leave.

‘Don’t worry, Marvin,’ Jason said. ‘I’ll help her.’

Della turned on her heel, her eyebrows rising in disbelief. The nerve of him. She would have made it clear she didn’t require his assistance if Marvin hadn’t already begun his phone conversation. She strode towards the door, and he scuttled across the office behind her.

In the passageway, Jason dashed in front and barred her way. ‘Don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Della,’ he said. ‘I was only trying to help. Didn’t mean to make it sound like you couldn’t handle it.’

No, of course he hadn’t. Not in front of her, anyway. Out of her hearing was a different matter. He’d been laying the groundwork for his advancement for the past six months. And she wouldn’t have a problem with him taking her position, as long as he waited for her to vacate the office before moving in.

If things went to plan, and she won the promotion to partner as expected, it would work in her favour to have a ready-made replacement. She wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Jason in that case. If, however, he continued to make snide comments like the one she’d just witnessed, she might suggest the company look elsewhere for its new senior consultant.

Ignoring his squirms, she got down to business. ‘Start making up the media kits,’ she said. ‘I emailed the media release to you late last night. Have you seen it?’

‘Haven’t checked my in-box yet.’

‘Well, do so. You should have everything else you need on file. Also, contact Catherine and tell her we need an employee communication plan. I’ll get in touch with Tom Dermont.’

‘Do you want me—?’

‘I can handle him,’ she said curtly.

‘Of course.’

She dismissed him with a flick of her wrist and walked back to her office. With a sigh, she walked around her desk. She didn’t enjoy acting the heavy-handed boss, but she knew his sort, and wasn’t naïve enough to believe another way existed. She’d had to be tough to reach this level in the firm and she’d have to be tougher still if she made it to partner. Though it didn’t come naturally to her, a certain amount of ruthlessness was essential.

A message waited on the desk. She picked up the slip of yellow paper as she slid into her chair. Melanie Crowe, the in-house PR officer employed by Dermont Chemicals. Couldn’t be good news. She’d better deal with Melanie’s problem first before tackling Tom.

Melanie was out of her depth in this type of crisis, and Della felt sorry for her. Tom had tried to cut costs by hiring a green graduate rather than an older, experienced practitioner.

If Tom had any real business sense, he’d put his money into developing a less confrontational relationship with the local residents and preparing emergency plans for incidents such as yesterday’s fire. They’d still need to bring in consultants for the legwork and logistical management, but at least they wouldn’t have journalists filling their stories with hearsay and uninformed comments.

It wasn’t in her interests to suggest this, though. The firm made a tidy sum from Dermont’s contract, and as he wouldn’t—or couldn’t—work with anyone but her it put her in a strong position with the senior partners.

‘Melanie, you called.’

‘Oh, Della. Thank goodness.’ Melanie answered sounding breathless, and it was only eight-thirty in the morning. ‘It’s escalating,’ she said.

‘I thought the fire brigade had it under control.’

‘They did, but then it reached one of the chemical storage tanks and there was an explosion. Oh, hell, two firefighters are in hospital.’

‘Badly hurt?’

‘Stable. Thing is, toxic fumes are leaking. The police are evacuating the locals.’

Della swore under her breath. This was the last thing they needed—more ammunition for the residents’ protest group. If they could convince the state government the chemical plant should be reclassified as heavy industrial, Dermont’s would be forced to move operations to the outer suburbs, well away from residential areas. Such a move would cost Dermont’s a fortune, and could even mean the end of their operations if Tom Dermont decided to pull the plug and cut his losses.

‘Thanks for letting me know, Melanie. I’m going to speak to Tom now. He wants to run the media conference, and I need to talk him out of it.’

Melanie snorted. ‘Good luck.’

‘I thought I’d suggest Dan Barlow as the ideal person to take his place.’

‘Perfect. He’ll come across as a good guy. Plus, he knows what he’s talking about. He won’t try to bluster his way through like Tom would.’



That afternoon, Della flicked through one of the media kits Jason had piled on a table near the entrance to the large room. As well as her media release, he’d included background details on the Dermont products, a piece on the company’s contribution to the state economy, a fact sheet regarding a proposed project to clean up the production process—if Tom Dermont ever approved the expenditure—and other bits and pieces. They’d hired a large conference room at a city hotel and sent out the media advisory notes. Now all she could do was hope Tom stayed away as he’d promised in their phone call.

Dan Barlow entered the room, and she hurried over to him. ‘Thanks for agreeing to do this, Dan,’ she said.

‘Not a problem. Glad to help.’

She chatted to Dan for several moments then, as she swung around, doing a speedy check of chairs available for the stream of media representatives coming through the door, she spotted Luke. He caught her eye as he took a seat in the back row, and his smile made her empty stomach go into freefall. She made her way to the back of the room.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, standing close behind his chair.

He twisted to face her. His gaze drifted from the top of her head to her toes and back up to her face. A blatant inspection. She had to stop herself gasping out loud. He’d never looked at her like this before.

‘I like the way you dress for work,’ he said. ‘Very smart, but not too corporate. There’s still a touch of the old Della there.’

Absurdly pleased, she smoothed down her tailored black skirt, straightened her silk shirt and lifted her chin. ‘I’m glad to see an improvement in your clothes.’

In fact, he looked incredible, treading the line between smart and casual in his olive-green combat trousers and a white, short-sleeved shirt. Clean-shaven, he’d also had a haircut.

‘You haven’t said what you’re doing here,’ she said.

‘Just checking out the local news scene.’

‘You’re not working, are you?’

He shook his head.

‘Then, how did you even know this was happening?’

He hesitated. ‘I still have contacts in the local media.’

‘Oh. Of course.’ She glanced at her watch. Running late was not an option with the evening news crews facing broadcast deadlines. ‘I’d better go. Time to start.’

‘Sure. See you tonight.’

‘Not tonight. I’m going out with Lyn, remember?’

He nodded.

Della walked calmly to the front of the room. She should have known he wouldn’t be able to stay away from a media conference like this. Renowned all over the world for his hard-hitting exposés of exploitation and corporate greed, he was a media favourite here in his home town. Of course he still had contacts, and as soon as he got in touch they’d fill him in on the biggest story of the day.

She glanced Luke’s way from time to time—and each time she did he caught her. A raised eyebrow, a wink, a cheeky half-smile. She had to force herself not to look in his direction again or she’d burst out laughing and wreck the media conference, not to mention her own reputation as a self-possessed professional.

She lost sight of him in the mass exodus, and by the time she’d dealt with the debriefing, prepared the action plan for the next few days and returned to her office, the adrenalin high she’d been on all day started to subside. She scanned the messages strewn across her desk, and sighed when she spotted one from a client in the wine industry. She’d have to delegate the remaining work on their annual report or it wouldn’t be ready in time for the printing deadline.

Her mobile phone beeped and she read the text message on the screen:

ok for tonight. be here @ 6. lyn

With mixed feelings, she cleared the screen. She enjoyed any time spent with Lyn, but tonight was going to be tough.




CHAPTER THREE


DELLA drove to Lyn’s house. She’d put in a superhuman effort, clearing a mountain of work so she could leave without a guilty conscience. When she reached Lyn’s, she saw an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. A Saab. Visitors? Would Lyn be obliged to stay home? Della almost hoped she would. Almost. But that would be the coward’s way out, and she was no coward.

She rang the doorbell. Lyn flung open the door, Cassie cradled in her arms. ‘I’m nearly ready,’ she said before Della could speak. ‘Here, take Cassie and I’ll finish my make-up.’

Della cuddled Cassie into her shoulder. Assuming the car belonged to one of Patrick’s friends, she headed through a door off the hallway. She came to an abrupt stop when she saw Luke sitting on the floor, playing a game with Jamie.

‘Hi.’ He looked up, giving her a wry smile. ‘Want to play?’

She tried to squash the excitement bubbling up at seeing him again, and shook her head. ‘Just waiting for Lyn. I expected to see Patrick.’

‘He had to work. I offered to babysit.’

‘You? Babysit?’

‘Don’t look so shocked. It will give me an opportunity to get to know my cheating nephew better.’ He tweaked Jamie’s nose. ‘And my beautiful niece.’ He reached up and jiggled one dangling foot as Cassie snuggled further into Della’s shoulder. ‘Besides,’ he said, ‘I couldn’t have you putting me off indefinitely and using Patrick as an excuse.’

She blinked. ‘Right.’

He must really need to talk if he’d gone to this trouble to make sure she’d be free. She had better be prepared for the floodgates to open.

Jamie demanded his attention, and he answered the little boy patiently. It shouldn’t surprise her. He’d been good with Megan and Poppy when they’d been little. But somehow the scene cut right to her core, causing a sharp ache deep inside.

He looked up. ‘So, dinner tomorrow night, then? Shall I pick you up? I have a car now.’

‘The Saab outside? You bought it?’

‘Yup. Like it? I decided to treat myself. I’ve never had a decent car. Tell you what, we could eat at your place. Don’t worry about cooking, I’ll bring dinner and wine.’

She was still stuck on the fact he’d bought a car. He really was settling down. Next thing she knew, he’d be buying a house. ‘Sorry, what?’

‘I said, I’ll bring food and we’ll eat at your place. You’re still a burger freak, I assume?’

She nodded.

‘Ready?’ Lyn called from the doorway.

‘I’ll be there at seven,’ he said.

‘What’s this?’ Lyn asked. ‘You two going out without me?’

‘Lynnie, you wrecked our gang when you married Patrick. Now you have to suffer the consequences,’ Luke said.

She pouted. ‘Well, just you look after my kids, Uncle Luke. Come on, Della, let’s leave him to it. I’ve given them both prunes for tea, so he’ll have a lovely time.’

Della grinned at the look of horror on Luke’s face as she handed Cassie to him.

‘Not really,’ Lyn mouthed as she shut the door behind them.



Mamma Marcella’s, their restaurant of choice, was busier than normal, but they found a table in the back corner near the kitchen. Della liked the relaxed ambience, and the owners let them linger long after they’d finished coffee. The perfect place for a catch-up chat.

They ordered at the counter and bought drinks before settling at their table.

‘Right. I’ve been a very patient friend, but I’m dying to know. What did the doctor say?’

Della steeled herself. She knew she had to talk about it. She might as well get it over with early then she could relax for the rest of the evening.

Relax? Ha! She didn’t know the meaning of the word.

‘It’s definite,’ she said. ‘As suspected, I can’t have children.’

‘Oh, Della.’ Lyn’s face contorted. ‘I’m so sorry. Are they sure? Is there nothing they can do?’

Della shook her head, swallowing past the cricket ball in her throat.

‘IVF?’ Lyn suggested tentatively.

‘No. She said the ovarian follicles won’t respond to the stimulation.’

‘Bugger, bugger, bugger.’ Lyn took a gulp from her glass. ‘It’s so unfair.’

Della shrugged, trying for casual. ‘I always knew the chemo could do this.’

‘I know, but there was hope. Until now.’ Lyn took another deep drink. ‘God, I can only imagine how you feel.’ She gave her friend a long look. ‘How do you feel?’

Della took a moment to choose her words. ‘I feel…diminished.’

‘Oh, my God. No.’ Lyn squeezed Della’s hand.

‘I don’t even understand why I feel this way,’ Della rushed on. ‘I mean, it’s not like I’m planning to get married in the foreseeable future, and chances are I never will.’

‘Don’t say that.’

‘Why not? It’s a fact.’ She paused, dragging in a deep breath and making an effort to slow down. If she allowed herself to gabble, the next thing she knew she’d be in tears. Slowing her speech always helped her to appear calm.

‘The point is,’ she said, ‘it was a fact before I saw Dr Morgan, and I didn’t feel any less a person then.’

‘Nor should you now. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t find a man to marry. A man who doesn’t want children. I mean, the right man. Not like those losers you’ve dated over the last few years.’

‘Losers? They weren’t all losers.’ Okay, some were. But as for the others, well, it wasn’t their fault she couldn’t love them. It was hers.

Lyn gazed at her for several moments. ‘It’s strange you’ve never found anyone. I mean, I fancied myself in love something like half a dozen times before I met Patrick. But you, you’ve never even considered the possibility, have you? Or, if you have, you’ve never mentioned it.’

Della looked away. She stared at the menu boards on the wall, but the chalk letters turned to squiggles before her eyes. She’d considered love all right. Very long and very hard. She hadn’t wanted to ruin their friendship by telling Lyn she’d fallen in love with her brother all those years ago.

He was so obviously not interested in her as anything but a friend; she hadn’t wanted to run the risk of his rejection. God, she could only imagine the mess it would have caused, the awkwardness when she’d gone to Lyn’s home. The embarrassment. And Lyn’s friendship was so very, very important to her. They were both important to her. What would her life have been like without them? She hadn’t wanted to lose either of them. So, her considered response had been to hide her feelings.

Her resolve had firmed when she’d realised he wouldn’t be sticking around. For a short space of time, she’d suspected he was looking at her in a different way. As if he, too, had been having thoughts that went deeper than friendship. But she’d convinced herself it was just her imagination. And, even if it hadn’t been, he’d had so many plans, so much desire to make a difference, such a driving sense of right and wrong.

She would never have put any obstacles in the way of him achieving his goals. Keeping her feelings to herself had been the right thing to do. A relationship with her would have been an obstacle. If he’d stayed, he’d never have felt fulfilled. He’d needed to be completely free to pursue the life he dreamed of. The lonely life of a solo-journalist was what he’d wanted and, because she’d loved him, she’d wanted it for him too.

But now, he’d done it all. And more. She had the evidence, if she needed it, that he’d never had any serious attraction to her. The fact that he’d married Yvonne was proof positive. What she didn’t understand was why her own feelings had remained as strong as ever. Despite his marriage, despite the length of time he’d stayed away, she was still in love with him.

‘Do you think it’s because of your parents?’ Lyn asked softly.

Della started. ‘My parents?’ She narrowed her eyes at her friend, not sure what she was getting at.

‘I mean…’ Lyn cleared her throat. ‘Do you think a lack of affection during your childhood has made it impossible for you to love now? I suppose it’s the old question of nature versus nurture, isn’t it? How much of our personality is the result of our upbringing, and how much due to innate character?’

Della tilted her head. ‘I see what you’re saying, but I really don’t think…I mean, I’m sure I could love him, if I found the right man.’

Lyn smiled. ‘Well, he might be just around the corner,’ she said in an encouraging tone.

Della lowered her eyes. Several corners—there were several corners between the restaurant and Lyn’s house. She gave her head a slight shake.

Lyn sighed. ‘So, if you don’t see yourself getting married, what do you think you’ll be doing in, say, ten years’ time?’

She looked up. This she could answer. She’d given it plenty of thought. ‘When I, or rather if I get the promotion, I’ll be the youngest partner in the firm, as well as the first female. I want to make a success of the role. That will take ten years, easily.’

‘Right. Blazing a trail for other women and all that. Hmm, it’s all very well, but there’s more to life than work, you know.’

A waiter arrived at their table with two plates of food. ‘Hi there,’ he said. ‘Nice to see you back again.’

They both smiled up at him. He was related to the owner, and always had a friendly word for them.

‘Enjoy!’

Lyn watched him walk off. ‘That is one very cute guy. Pity he’s too young for you.’

‘Lyn! He’s like half my age.’

Lyn laughed. ‘He’s not that young.’ Unwrapping her cutlery, she said, ‘I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but I do worry about you.’

‘You don’t need to. I enjoy my work.’

‘I don’t know why, it always seems so stressful.’

‘It’s challenging.’

‘It’s that all right. Sometimes, though, I wonder…’

‘Wonder what?’

‘How you can work for people like Tom Dermont.’

‘Well, not all my clients are like Tom.’

‘No, of course not, but he’s not the only one like that, either. How do you justify working for them? To yourself? Your conscience?’

Della frowned. ‘I don’t feel that I have to justify it. I’m not responsible for what he does or doesn’t do. It’s a job. I only have to concentrate on doing the work to the best of my ability.’

Lyn paused with her fork in mid-air. ‘You don’t think you’d be happier in a different job?’

Della shook her head.

After chewing her food, Lyn shrugged. ‘Anyway, that isn’t where I meant to go with this. What I meant was, I don’t want you to be so wrapped up in your work that you end up alone.’

‘I won’t be alone. I have you and Patrick, Jamie and Cassie, Dawn and Frank, Megan and Poppy.’

‘And Luke.’

‘And…Luke.’

Della averted her eyes, focusing on a young woman who was weaving between the tables, her generous hips swaying. If she was a typical woman, she’d prefer a svelte figure to the wide, childbearing hips she’d been given. But would she give up her chance to have children for it? Very unlikely. Not many women were childless from choice.

‘I think,’ Della said, ‘there’s something built into us, you know? Knowing I can’t accomplish the basic purpose I was meant for makes me feel less of a woman.’

Lyn’s eyes shone and she blinked rapidly. ‘I will not have you talking like this. It’s nonsense. There are loads of women who don’t have children, whether it’s a health issue, a lifestyle thing or otherwise. No one thinks less of them for it. No one will think less of you, Dell.’

She nodded. ‘Part of me knows you’re right, yet it doesn’t make a jot of difference to the way I feel. I just need some time to accept it, you know? I need to come to terms with it. I would have liked…loved—’ Her voice cracked and she paused, lips pursed, stomach clenched, willing herself to keep it together. ‘To…to have a child of my own some day.’

‘Of course, and you’d make—’ Lyn bit a trembling lip. ‘Would have made a wonderful mother.’

Della fanned her face with her paper napkin. ‘Don’t tell anyone, Lyn. Don’t tell Dawn. I’ll explain it to her myself one day, when I’m ready. But not yet.’

Lyn dragged the back of her hand across her eyes. ‘Mum will feel badly for you.’

‘I know she will. That’s the problem. I can’t cope with her sympathy yet. I can’t cope with anyone’s sympathy.’ Until she could talk about it without shrivelling up inside, she didn’t want anyone else to know.

‘Fair enough.’ Lyn ducked her head and tugged a tissue from her handbag.

‘Let’s talk about something else now. Has Cassie’s first tooth come through yet?’

After blowing her nose, Lyn followed Della’s lead and filled her in on news of her offspring.

Della laughed as Lyn reached the end of an anecdote. ‘You should write all this down. You’d fill a book in no time, and I bet lots of parents would relate to it.’

Lyn flapped a hand. ‘I’m no writer. You and Luke were the ones with the monopoly on that. Or do I mean duopoly? See? I’m no good with words. And, speaking of Luke, what do you think of him moving back here?’

‘Well…’ She scratched her cheek thoughtfully. ‘I find it hard to believe. I can’t imagine him finding life here exciting enough, can you? I can’t help wondering whether he’s only come back to be near his family and friends while he gets over his divorce.’

Lyn frowned. ‘You might have a point, but he won’t talk about it. I think it would do him good if he did.’

‘Perhaps he doesn’t want to talk to you because you have a happy marriage.’

‘I hadn’t thought of that.’ Lyn swirled the wine in her glass. ‘You might be right. Why don’t you see if you can get him to talk?’

Della nodded. ‘I’m hoping that’s why he wants to catch up tomorrow night.’

‘Sure. Do your best. Of course, we might be wrong. He might have moved back because he’s sick of the dangers and deprivations of living like he has for so long. Maybe he wants to settle down and live like a normal person.’

‘Could be as simple as that.’

‘Then again,’ Lyn said, ‘this is Luke we’re talking about. He doesn’t do settling down.’



Rushing through her front door the next day, Della cursed the senior consultants’ meeting for going on so long. Now she wouldn’t have time for the leisurely shower she’d planned to indulge in before Luke arrived. She started to remove her clothes on the way upstairs, finished the job in her bedroom and darted into the en-suite bathroom, where she took a shower in record time. She’d pulled on a pair of three-quarter length jeans and a short white T-shirt by the time the doorbell rang.

After finger-combing her hair on the way downstairs, she dragged open the front door. The meagre remains of her breath escaped when she saw Luke standing there. In his jeans, and a black muscle-skimming T-shirt, he looked young again. The embodiment of her fantasy. The man who’d come to her in her dreams night after lonely night, year after long year.

Her nerves buzzed with the thrill of being near him again, reminding her why she’d fallen for him in the first place. As she stared, a trickle of water ran down her neck, and with her nerves so taut it sent a shiver right through her.

‘Hi,’ she said.

He held up his hands. In one, he clutched a brown paper fast-food bag. In the other, a bottle of local wine. He turned it so she could see the label. ‘Will this do? Should I have brought a white too?’




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