A Place To Call Home
A Place To Call Home
Laurie Paige
SOMETIMES MR. RIGHT IS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSEZia Peters has had enough upheaval for three lifetimes. Now all she wants is a chance to get back on track–without the distraction of a man in her life. Still, when old friend Jeremy Aquilon offers his spare bedroom and a temporary job, she jumps at the chance. After all, Jeremy has seen her at her worst, and vice versa–no danger of romance there!Except Jeremy is hardly the boy she remembers. In fact, he might be the most handsome man she' s ever met, and her whole body knows it.Can she convince him that she' s changed? And more important, can she convince herself?Canyon CountyEveryone deserves a second chance…to find love
Jeremy felt bliss spread to every part of his body…into his soul.
Her eyes were closed, and her lovely face glowed. He brushed her curls from her face and kissed her brow, her temple, unable to stop touching her.
For the first time in his life, his body had gone beyond the command of his mind. Odd, but he didn’t feel a need for caution, as he usually did when a relationship threatened to become too intense. Instead, a welter of emotions coursed through him and he tried to sort them all out.
Tenderness?
Yeah.
Wonder?
That, too.
Confusion?
Definitely.
Dear Reader,
It is so difficult to leave a family, even a made-up one, whose lives I have been writing about for more than a year. From my own extended family as well as my husband’s, I enjoy watching our young ones grow up and flex their wings, while they establish careers and find their special person. I just never get tired of a complicated (as all matters of the heart tend to be) love story and seeing the hero/heroine coming to grips with their personal demons as well as learning to trust their hearts… Uh-oh, I’m getting all choked up. Anybody got a hankie?
Best,
A Place to Call Home
Laurie Paige
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
LAURIE PAIGE
“One of the nicest things about writing romances is researching locales, careers and ideas. In the interest of authenticity, most writers will try anything…once.” Along with her writing adventures, Laurie has been a NASA engineer, a past president of the Romance Writers of America, and is a mother and a grandmother. She was twice a Romance Writers of America RITA
Award finalist for Best Traditional Romance and has won awards from Romantic Times BOOKreviews for Best Silhouette Special Edition and Best Silhouette, in addition to appearing on the USA TODAY bestseller list. Recently resettled in Northern California, Laurie is looking forward to whatever experiences her next novel will provide.
Dedicated to all those who have reached a certain
age, in which case it’s “about the diamonds.”
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter One
Zia Peters couldn’t have been more startled when the familiar voice of Jeremy Aquilon greeted her outside the Residential Hotel of Vernal, Utah, as she climbed wearily out of her compact car.
“Jeremy,” she said blankly, staring as if she couldn’t quite recall who he was and managing to drop her keys and purse at the same time.
But of course she did know him. He was part of her “blended” family. When Jeremy’s uncle, Jeff, had taken in Jeremy and his two younger stepcousins—the cousins, a brother and sister, were underage and wards of the state—her mother had been assigned to the case…and ended up married to the orphans’ guardian.
That had been fourteen years ago. While her mother had fitted in perfectly with the Aquilons, Zia, at nineteen, hadn’t felt part of their family, or any family, not since her dad had walked out when she was four.
She summoned a smile as Jeremy stopped beside her. “What are you doing here?” she asked, the surprise obvious in her voice, not to mention other emotions she couldn’t define. She picked up her purse and tossed the keys inside.
“Waiting for you?” he suggested with a humorous lilt in his smooth baritone.
He had no idea how those words reached down and stirred a pot of turbulent emotion inside her. No one waited for her, and that was a fact. Chiding herself for the flash of self-pity, she maintained a pleasant expression, aware that his appearance was having a keen impact on her senses.
His hair gleamed shiny black in the sun as he ambled down the porch steps. The June breeze lifted the perpetual wave that curved over his forehead. The wayward lock looked silky soft as he brushed it to the side, unlike the hard, sinewy lines of his six-two body.
The playful wind also carried the scent of balsam and aftershave, as if he’d recently stepped out of the shower. His jawline, strong and angular, was smoothly shaved. An instinctive urge to test that smoothness had her drawing back in shock at the impulse.
His face was tanned from days working in the sun, his eyes were dark and he exuded a controlled masculinity, a quiet assurance that hinted at thoughts not spoken, depths not plumbed. All her friends had found him intriguing on the infrequent occasions when she and Jeremy had visited the Aquilon home at the same time during their college years.
As a civil engineer working for the state of Utah, he supervised the building of roads and bridges. She knew him as an unruffled solver of life’s problems, large or small. He’d come to the rescue of his cousins when he’d hardly been more than a boy himself, and he’d helped her through a rough patch once, a time that she’d rather forget. Neither of them ever referred to it.
Sorrow and regret, mixed with shame, embarrassment and other feelings too painful to sort out, flashed through her.
She shoved aside the emotions and popped open the trunk of her car. Matching his amused tone, she quipped, “Your crystal ball works better than mine. I wasn’t sure what time I was going to make it in due to all the road construction going on.”
“It’s summer. We have to get as much done as possible.”
He shrugged and reached past her to lift out her largest piece of luggage as if it weighed no more than her overnight case, which she removed from the trunk. He also took the medium one before she could grab it, his arm brushing hers as he did.
“Seriously, how did you know I was coming today?” she asked.
“Seriously,” he replied, still with the note of humor, “your mom called just before I left the office. She said you’d called on your cell phone and reported you were about thirty miles from town but stuck in traffic. She was worried you wouldn’t get in before dark. I told her the delay wasn’t more than fifteen minutes.” He paused. “I said I’d make sure you arrived okay.”
His gaze took in the last rays of sunlight on the western horizon before returning to her.
Suppressing annoyance that her mother had thought it necessary to contact Jeremy and ask him to check on her, she said brightly, “I’m fine.” She hesitated, then added, “I thought you were working on a bridge in the Desolation Canyon area.”
She knew he had a cabin near town, one he’d bought three years ago and was remodeling as he got time. Normally, he lived in an RV or temporary barracks at the construction site while on a job. Her new position as the county curriculum director would keep her busy at the school headquarters in town. She figured they wouldn’t run into each other often.
“Do you have a project in this area now?” she asked when he didn’t say anything.
His grin was brilliant enough to stop traffic. “You might say so. Vernal is the DOT’s district headquarters for this region, and I’m the new district manager. I’ll be at the office a lot, except when I’m in the field checking on progress. Or problems, as the case may be.”
DOT was the Department of Transportation. She hadn’t realized they would have a regional office in a town of eight thousand people. Industry here mostly consisted of services for travelers on Highway 40, the government offices of the county seat, businesses serving the ranchers, Indian reservations and forestry service in the surrounding area or outfitters catering to adventurers who came for fishing, hunting or rafting through Desolation Canyon on the Green River.
The biggest attraction was Dinosaur National Monument which straddled the border between Utah and Colorado. A huge pink dinosaur on Main Street welcomed people to the town.
“That’s wonderful,” she said sincerely. “Congratulations on the promotion. Uh, did you mention this when we were home for the wedding two weeks ago?”
He shook his head. “Truthfully, I didn’t think I had a chance at the position, so there was no point in talking about it.”
His stepcousin, Krista, had married into a very old, very wealthy Colorado family on the first Saturday of June.
Zia truly hoped the twenty-five-year-old found happiness in her marriage. Krista, an eleven-year-old when Jeff and Caileen wed, had readily welcomed Zia as a roommate when Zia had visited during college breaks.
Hero worship was something she didn’t deserve, but Krista hadn’t known that. The girl had been sweet and trusting and had asked Zia for advice as a youngster would of a much-admired older friend. If only she’d been the person Krista thought she was—wise and generous and kind. If only she could turn back the clock and be that person. Yeah, if only….
Zia sighed as she headed for the hotel lobby to sign in.
“Tired?” Jeremy asked companionably.
He was being polite. She knew that, but for a second, she pictured a different welcome, one in which the man of her dreams rushed out to greet her and sweep her into his arms in a loving embrace, happy to be with her again.
Since the wedding, with Krista so radiant and Lance so filled with adoration each time he’d looked at his bride, Zia had experienced a restless yearning that reached all the way to her soul or some place of deep, dark misery.
Where was the special person who would love her like that? Did he even exist, she questioned the part of her that sometimes, as at the wedding, longed for romance and fulfillment. Her eyes burned with sudden tears.
Heavens, but she was at a low point today, not a good time for a welcoming committee of any kind, even one as considerate as Jeremy.
“A little,” she admitted. “It was super of you to come by. As soon as I’m in my room, I’ll call the folks to let them know I made it okay.” She sounded briskly dismissive. “I’m sorry,” she immediately added. “I didn’t mean to be abrupt. I’m not very good company right now.”
“You probably need food,” he said in his unruffled manner. He glanced at his wristwatch. “How about if I come back in an hour or so and take you to the best steak house in town?”
What could she say to such a gracious offer but yes?
Besides, her mother would be appalled if she acted like a total ass to Jeremy. Truly, she didn’t mean to be unfriendly, but she really was weary. What should have been an easy drive from Provo, where she’d been supervisor of federal educational programs, to Vernal had taken several extra hours due to construction delays.
“Give me an hour and a half,” she requested. “I’m going to soak in a hot tub for a while before I do anything else.”
“Good idea.” He placed the large bag and the medium-size one on a luggage carrier inside the lobby before giving her a half wave, then headed out the door.
Zia sighed again and went to the front desk. “I’m Zia Peters. I have a reservation.”
“Welcome, Miss Peters,” the young woman behind the desk greeted her, her fingers busy on the computer as she pulled up the file. “I’m Rachel, your day host. You’re staying with us for two weeks?”
“Yes. Maybe more. I’ll be looking for an apartment, so I’m not sure how much time I’ll need.”
“No problem. Just let us know as soon as possible if you want extra time. Hmm, actually I can give you a better rate if you agree to stay a month. If you have to change the time span later, it’s no problem.”
The price break was a twenty percent discount, and Zia figured it would take at least a month to find a place. “Great. Let’s plan on a month.”
After filling out the forms and putting the charges on her credit card, she rolled the luggage cart to her room, pleased that it was on the ground floor and had a door opening onto the side porch as well as one to the inner corridor.
The queen bed fit into an alcove to the left of the sitting room. The bathroom was on that side, too. A tiny kitchen nestled into another niche, along with a closet, on the opposite wall.
Windows flanked the door to the porch, giving her a view of eastern hills, sagebrush and a line of chokecherries, salt cedars and willows along an arroyo.
She quickly hung her clothing in the closet, stored her other items in the dresser drawers, then ran a bath. While the tub was filling, she called her mom. “Hi, I’m in,” she said when her mother answered.
“Oh, good. You had such a long day, I was worried about you falling asleep at the wheel.”
Zia had gotten up early to let the movers collect her possessions and put them in storage until she got settled in her new place. The packing and loading had taken longer than planned, so she hadn’t hit the road until midafternoon. The traffic delays had added to the length of the trip.
“I’m fine,” she assured her mom.
“Did you see Jeremy?”
“Yes. He was here at the hotel when I arrived. We’re going to dinner later. At the best steak house in town,” she added.
“Good,” her mother said, her tone rich with approval.
Jeremy had always been hardworking and responsible and clear-thinking…all the things she’d had trouble with while growing up, all the things that brought on regret whenever she was reminded of the past.
She determinedly put the thought out of her mind. “Got to go,” she said brightly. “I want to take a hot bath and relax before we go to dinner.”
“Have a good time. Give Jeremy our love.”
“I will. Love you. Bye for now.”
She closed the cell phone, near despair or something equally gloomy. What was the matter with her? It had to be more than the wedding and the emotion associated with it, but what?
This move was supposed to be a good thing—sensible, logical, great for her career.
Except she hadn’t expected to see Jeremy the moment she arrived. After the long, hard day, she hadn’t been prepared to face him, just as she hadn’t been prepared for the turmoil inside when she’d danced with him at his cousin’s wedding.
Jeremy in jeans was appealing. Jeremy in a tux had been “awesome,” as one of Krista’s friends had said at the reception.
He really had been gorgeous. If Hollywood needed a new James Bond, he would be first on her list.
Shaking her head, she reminded herself she was no longer a teenager in an emotional and hormonal uproar, then stripped out of her jeans and T-shirt and headed for the tub.
“Ahh,” she groaned upon sinking into pleasantly hot water nearly up to her neck. She’d set the radio alarm for thirty minutes so she could relax completely without keeping an eye on the clock before facing the evening.
Zia sprang upright when the alarm went off. She’d tried meditation techniques, but she hadn’t relaxed at all during the soak although she’d given it her best.
Memories had returned to haunt her as they sometimes did when she was tired or tense or both. Seeing Jeremy had brought it all back—those days when every moment had seemed of earthshaking importance, when the world had revolved around her and her friends and their hectic lifestyle.
Or so she had thought.
She’d learned a harsh lesson the year she and Sammy broke up. The love of her young life had been horrified when she’d told him she was pregnant. While she wasn’t sure why the birth control pills had failed, other than she’d had a terrible cold and stomach flu that spring, she hadn’t seen it as a huge problem. Although a college dropout, Sammy had had a good job in construction.
Just as her father had at the same age. Now her dad owned his own construction company and made lots of money. True, that had happened much later in his life, but she’d envisioned her and Sammy working together and making their marriage a huge success…as opposed to her parents’ failure.
Why had she thought she was so much smarter and more capable than her mom had been at her age?
The confidence, or arrogance, of youth, she answered the question and surprisingly again felt the quick sting of remorse as she considered her mother’s life.
Caileen had dropped out of college and married at nineteen. Zia had been born ten months later. They had lived in a van, traveling around the country to the best surfing spots, her mom working at odd jobs while her dad did construction.
After nearly five years of roaming, her mom had moved into an apartment and worked for the university while finishing her degree in counseling. She’d also worked as a dishwasher at a local restaurant at night. The boss had let her bring her child with her. Some of Zia’s earliest memories were of sleeping in the storage room off the kitchen, surrounded by huge cans of food and hundred-pound sacks of potatoes.
She found herself smiling at that memory while an ache settled in her heart. Odd, to be so emotionally unsettled today.
Taking a new job as curriculum planner and coordinator for the county was a step up for her, one she was excited about, but a big responsibility. Perhaps that was the reason she felt so nervy.
She dressed in navy-blue slacks and a white shell, then laid out a long-sleeved shirt to take with her since the desert nights were usually cool at this elevation, which was over five thousand feet. She twisted her hair up on the back of her head and secured it with a butterfly clip before putting on a light foundation, eyeliner and rose-hued lipstick.
She still had twenty minutes, so she settled in a floral-covered rocking chair to wait, her thoughts once more on the past.
Six months after her fourth birthday, her parents had separated. They’d quarreled over money, over staying in one place, over her, over everything that touched their lives. Her fun, surfer-king father had walked out.
It had taken a long time to forgive her mother for that, and even longer to realize her dad had also made a choice and that it hadn’t included his wife and daughter. It wasn’t until she was alone, pregnant and worried about the future that she’d understood something of what her mother had gone through while trying to provide a healthy, stable home for a child who was asthmatic—thank goodness she’d outgrown that malady—and having to count every penny, plus getting in study time, too.
How had she withstood the stress and pressure and loneliness of those years?
Closing her eyes and resting her head on the chair back, Zia felt the familiar regret at her impatient defiance of Caileen’s rules and advice against a serious involvement during her first year of college. All the signs of Sammy’s self-absorption had been there, as her mom had pointed out, but she’d refused to see them. She’d been pretty self-centered, too.
Ah, well. What was done, was done.
She’d been foolish and naive at nineteen. At thirty-three, she hoped she was wiser. And a better person—
A knock on the outside door interrupted her musing.
Jeremy felt he could do no less than invite Zia out to dinner on her first night in town, especially since her mom had called and asked him to make sure Zia arrived okay. He would do anything for Caileen and his uncle Jeff, who had formed the stable home base every kid needed while growing up. His feelings for them ran deep.
Zia, on the other hand, had always seemed rather remote and aloof. However, he hadn’t been around her all that much, so he really couldn’t say. After Jeff and Caileen had married, Zia had gone to live in another state and work in her father’s construction company office while attending the university there. She and her mom hadn’t been getting along at the time.
In the fall, he’d left, too, going to the university in Boise on a math scholarship. Now, fourteen years later, it looked as if he and Zia were going to be residents of the same town. He wondered briefly if this would be a problem, but decided there was no reason for their lives to overlap more than in the past.
After finding out which room Zia was in, Jeremy went to the outside door and knocked. She answered at once.
As usual, her stunning beauty—five-nine, slender physique, long naturally blond hair, blue eyes—made his throat close for a second. The same thing had happened when he’d first seen her.
As a high school senior, he’d taken a college history course, intent on getting out on his own as soon as he finished his schooling. Zia had been in the class. That first day, all the guys had nearly fallen out of their chairs when she walked in with a friend, laughing and talking, seemingly unconscious of the picture she made.
He had to give her that. While most women would have used such great natural beauty to their advantage, Zia acted indifferent to hers.
At the time, he’d had no idea their lives would become entangled before the school year was over.
“Hello,” she said, opening the door and pulling him back into the present.
Her scent enveloped him as he returned her greeting. While her perfume was sometimes floral, as at the wedding, or sometimes on the spicy side, as now, there was always a hint of freshness about her, as if she embodied springtime.
“You were right about needing food.” she told him with a rueful grimace. “I skipped lunch, then ate cheese crackers while sitting in traffic. Now I’m starved.”
He nodded at her small talk and waited while she gathered her purse and a shirt for the evening, then escorted her to the four-wheel drive SUV so necessary for his work in a country of deep canyons, dry washes and towering mesas.
“The Green River steak house is a local favorite. We try to keep it a secret from outsiders,” he said after they were on their way.
“I promise not to tell anyone about it.”
He smiled and relaxed at the mock seriousness of her quip. She was in a better humor now than when she’d first arrived. He’d always felt that she avoided him whenever possible…well, actually she avoided the entire family other than very brief visits on special occasions, such as being asked to take part in the wedding as Krista’s maid of honor.
For a second his insides tightened painfully as he envisioned the angel dressed in blue who came down the aisle before the bride. He’d hardly been able to tear his gaze away. Odd, but in some ways, it was almost as if Zia hadn’t been present, as if her spirit had fled and left only the incredibly lovely husk of her body to carry out her duties.
When he’d danced with her at the reception, she’d stared over his shoulder at some distant view invisible to lesser mortals. He’d puzzled over her remote attitude, but if she preferred to remain aloof from the rest of them, it was her loss.
However, later, before Krista and Lance left on their honeymoon, he’d overheard Zia whisper, “Be happy, Krista. Find something in each day to bring joy to you and Lance.”
When they waved the couple off, he’d caught an expression of intense…loneliness? grief?…in her eyes for a second, then she’d walked away from the crowd of well-wishers and headed for her car as if she couldn’t wait to flee.
Against his will, he recalled blue eyes that had once looked like bruises in a face so pale he’d been afraid she was going to die on him.
He sucked in a harsh breath as a gang of tiny darts hit his heart all at once, making him aware that he’d once been truly worried for the lovely woman seated beside him, who normally kept up a pleasant facade and rarely gave a hint of her own deeper feelings. Ignoring the softer part of himself that still felt sorry for her in some ways, he pulled into a parking space and went around to help her out of the SUV.
“This is lovely,” she said.
He stopped when she did and gazed at the colors of the sunset, all gold and magenta, highlighting the sky beyond the mesa country that dominated the horizon.
“Yes,” he said, but his eyes had returned to her.
He mentally muttered a curse at the attraction he couldn’t deny. Okay, she was gorgeous, but beauty is as beauty does.
When he’d first met Zia, she’d been headstrong, thoughtless and self-centered. In his opinion. But that was long ago. In all fairness, he admitted he really didn’t know her as an adult.
Taking her arm, he ushered her inside where they were led to a table next to the window.
“A full panoramic view,” she said in approval. “I love the colors of a desert sunset, don’t you?”
He answered with a grunt of agreement and accepted the menu the hostess handed him.
He observed her over the edge of the menu. There was something different about her, he decided, feeling the annoying little darts again, something sad or perhaps nostalgic. Maybe she was remembering the past, too.
“I can recommend the prime rib,” he said, bringing them back to the mundane present.
They both ordered the prime rib special. He selected a red wine, a merlot that he recalled she liked.
“The wedding was lovely, wasn’t it?” she said after the wine had been served, along with a basket of hot bread.
“The bride and groom are probably at their computers as we speak, going over contracts,” he said, grinning.
Her laughter was unexpected, a gift reaching right down into his chest. Now where had that strange idea come from?
“I’m surprised they’re taking a month for a honeymoon. But I’m glad they are,” she added thoughtfully.
“I don’t think it matters. Both of them are such workaholics, they would probably rather be up to their ears in one of their projects than anywhere else. I still have trouble seeing Krista as a hard-nosed businesswoman.”
“Ah, but you didn’t hear her tell the florist that if he wanted any future orders from the Aquilons, he’d better fulfill the agreement they had and pronto! He came up with the rest of the floral arrangements with no delays.”
When they chuckled together, he felt tension flow out of him. So, the dinner was going to go okay. After tonight, he would be busy with his new job and she would be engrossed in hers.
For a second, he wondered if fate was playing some diabolical trick on them, bringing them to the same town at the same time via the promotions. Caileen had been glad, but he thought that was because she was a mother with one chick, and that chick was very beautiful…not to mention distant and rather standoffish.
Maybe that was why she hadn’t married, which was another reason her mother worried about her. At the wedding reception, he’d heard Caileen whisper to his uncle that she hoped Zia would find someone soon.
“Aren’t you rather young to be a district manager?” Zia asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Irritation washed over him, but he gave her a lazy smile while slightly tipping his glass toward her. “I’m only three months younger than you and you’re the school curriculum director for the whole county.”
“That’s not as impressive as being a district manager on the state level. I was wondering at the responsibility…but then, you’ve never been afraid to take on any amount of responsibility, have you?”
Blue eyes met his, and for a moment, he knew they were both remembering another place and another night that now seemed more of a nightmare than reality. He pushed the memory back into the black box of the past.
“You were seventeen when you ran away with Tony and Krista and lived on your own for a year. I still don’t see how you kept from starving.”
“In the summer, we lived off the land. I worked in a grocery store during the winter. I got all the discarded produce I wanted for free. A few bruises on the apples didn’t bother us.”
“You made up the year you lost in record time and graduated from college the same year I did. You were taking classes in high school and college at the same time. Remember that history class we were both in?”
“Yeah. I was in a hurry to get started.”
“With what?” she asked softly, a sardonic note in her voice.
“My career. My life,” he added for no good reason that he could think of.
“Life,” she echoed and her eyes went dark, as if she’d thought of something that made her unhappy.
The horde of darts pricked at him. He shrugged them off. Whatever her life was, it was of her own making. He had a full plate with his new position and the problems that went with it.
After the tender beef and baked potato dinner, he ordered coffee while she asked for tea with milk and brown sugar. He recalled that she preferred the tea over dessert, that she rarely ate dinner rolls and never indulged in something so decadent as butter. However, she loved brownies with pecans and had always praised Krista to the skies when she made them for her.
He wondered why he remembered something like that about her when there were other, more shattering things to muse on. He’d never asked, not then and not once in the intervening years, why she’d called him for help that night long ago. The night she’d lost the child she carried.
Chapter Two
It had been eerily dark that night, with only a sliver of moon showing beyond the trees lining the creek. Jeremy had answered Zia’s summons as quickly as possible, not sure what to expect. She’d said she needed a ride when she’d called him.
He parked his secondhand pickup in front of the cabin. The old fishing camp, part of a state park now, wasn’t going to be opened until extensive renovations were done to the cottages. Since the repairs hadn’t been started yet, he figured it would be a while before they were used again.
No other vehicles were around. Through a crack in the ancient cabin’s curtains, he could detect a light.
Zia.
His insides tightened as he got out and gently closed the door. He wondered why she’d called him. It wasn’t as if they were close or anything, even if his uncle and her mother did have something going between them.
So what could Zia’s call for help mean?
Forcing a calm he was far from feeling, he went to the cabin door and softly knocked. “Zia? It’s me, Jeremy.”
“Wait,” he heard her say in a strange voice, a hoarse whisper as if she were being strangled.
His nerves tightened as the seconds clicked by, then he heard the slide bolt being drawn back. He turned the knob and went inside. Zia, looking like hell and much older than her nineteen years, stared at him, her eyes the only color in her face.
“What is it?” he asked as she sat on the rumpled sleeping bag spread over the steel frame of a cot.
She pressed her lips together, then leaned forward, her hands gripping her knees, obviously in pain. Beneath the T-shirt and leggings she wore, he saw her abdominal muscles contract as if in a spasm. His insides tightened, too. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew it wasn’t good.
He settled beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. Pulling her hair into a bundle, he held it at the back of her neck so he could observe her face. “What’s happening?”
“Miscarriage,” she said. “I think.”
A shiver ran down his back. While he’d taken a first aid course, he wasn’t equipped for this type of emergency. He held her until the contraction subsided, until she sighed and pulled slightly away and gazed at him.
“Thanks for coming.” Her smile was weak, apologetic. “You were the only person I could think of…the only one I trusted.”
“Shouldn’t we go to the hospital or something?” he asked, wondering where all her elite, sophisticated friends were. She was part of the “in” crowd at the university.
“In a minute,” she said and gasped, bending forward from her waist and grasping her knees again. “Help me to the bathroom.”
He cupped an arm around her waist and half carried her into the adjoining room. Sweat trickled down his scalp, his chest, his back.
She gave him a weary, rueful glance from eyes that looked like bruised petals. He stepped back into the other room, leaving the door ajar in case she needed him.
Peering into the dingy mirror, she combed her hair and pulled it back with a stretchy band, then splashed water on her face. Little curling tendrils formed around her face, making her look as vulnerable as eleven-year-old Krista. Her audible sigh dipped right down inside him.
When she came out, he slipped an arm around her waist and helped her to the cot. Following her instructions, he gathered her belongings and erased all signs of her having been in the cabin. He stored the stuff in the truck and came back for her.
“Let me rest a minute, then we’ll go,” she said, then with a brief smile, she added, “Poor Jeremy. After donating blood and saving my life, are you worried that you’ll have to take care of me for the rest of your life?”
“The thought never entered my mind.”
That was the truth. She’d been a spectator at an illegal drag race a couple of months ago. The cars had side-swiped each other and a piece of chrome had flown off and hit her in the neck. It was one of those freakish moments life liked to throw at a person. He and his uncle, being O-negative in blood type, had been called by the hospital to help replace the large amount of blood she’d lost.
At the time, he hadn’t known their lives would become entangled due to family ties, he mused as he took a sip of coffee and returned to the present and the restaurant, aware of glances their way from other patrons. Zia drew attention wherever she went although, as usual, she seemed unaware of it.
He stared at the scar on the side of her neck, still visible above the collar of the shirt all these years later.
“I wore turtlenecks for the rest of that year so no one could see the scar,” she said, her eyes following his line of sight as she added milk and sugar to the cup of steaming tea.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” He looked at the sky, now a dark blue with a crystal drop of teal clinging to the horizon.
“You were remembering the past,” she said. “I was, too. It was terrible of me to put you in such a position. I didn’t know who else to call.”
“I wondered why you didn’t call Sammy.”
Her lovely face became solemn with a disillusionment she’d never before allowed to surface in his presence. “He’d already walked out on me once. I would hardly give him a chance to do so again. My best friend had driven me to the cabin and promised not to tell anyone where I was. I didn’t want to call her out in the middle of the night. Her parents would have questioned her if they’d heard her leaving at that hour.”
“So that left me.”
“Yes.” She sipped the tea, then gazed at him over the rim of the cup, the steam adding a mysterious aura to her eyes. “I’ve tried not to bother you with my woes since then.”
“Have there been other problems?” he asked.
She shook her head. Wispy curls floated around her temples. He remembered how soft her hair had been the one time he’d touched it. Sometime past midnight of that night long ago, he’d taken her to a twenty-four hour clinic where she’d been checked out and pronounced fine. The doctor had told them that over fifty percent of first pregnancies ended in miscarriage.
“Just the body’s way of preparing for the real thing,” he’d assured them in a hearty manner, treating them as a couple.
Neither he nor Zia had explained the truth. Between the two of them, they had managed to pay the bill. Later he’d received a check from Zia for his share. Two words had been written on the accompanying note. “Thanks forever.”
“Actually my life is quite calm and peaceful. Just the way I like it.” Her smile was droll.
He smiled, too. “Same here.”
“No serious involvement to give you heart pains?” she teased, surprising him with the question.
He grimaced. The woman he’d been dating had made it clear she wasn’t interested in moving from Cedar City in the southwestern part of the state to another small town in the northeastern section, so that had ended the relationship. “None. You?”
Her smile dimmed a bit. “I was going pretty steady with a high school teacher in Provo when this job offer came up. When he didn’t get down on his knees and beg me to stay, I was disappointed. Then I realized the promotion meant more to me than he did.”
“You didn’t love him,” Jeremy murmured.
“I cared about him, but I didn’t want a lifelong commitment.” Her eyes seemed to darken. “I’m not sure I ever will.”
“You can’t let a jerk like Sammy influence the rest of your relationships,” he advised.
“No, I haven’t. At least, I don’t think I have.” She sighed. “Mom’s worried, though. She made some strong hints during the wedding festivities that I might be too picky. I didn’t remind her that her first attempt at marriage ended in divorce.”
“Is that what you’re afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” she said, her tone cooler. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound sharp. I just haven’t met the one, I suppose.”
“Yeah, same here.”
“All my friends thought you were a hunk,” she murmured on a determinedly lighter note. “They kept dropping by the house when we were home on vacations. Did you notice?”
He shook his head. “I was concentrating too hard on getting my courses in, making decent grades and graduating. Nothing was going to stand in my way.”
“That’s what my mother said I should do when I was going with Sammy. I’ve never had the courage to tell her she was right.”
“It was a long time ago,” Jeremy advised, catching a hint of regret in her manner. “We were young.”
“Young,” she echoed, brushing back a curl from her cheek. “And foolish. Why do those two go together so easily?”
When she laughed, he did, too. But he didn’t share the irony. He felt sorry for her. She’d learned a hard lesson in trust, one she’d obviously never forgotten. However, that was neither here nor there. He felt he could truthfully report to her mom that Zia was safe and well in her new environment.
“Ready to go?” he asked as she patted back a yawn.
Zia studied the three-story building where she would be working come August. She had seven weeks to find a place to live, get her furniture out of storage and settle in. That should be plenty of time.
Meanwhile, she was reading over all her books on continuous courses of study for students from first to twelfth grade.
Research had shown that more than about six weeks off from school and the kids forgot a lot of what they had learned. That meant teachers had to spend at least a month reviewing old material before beginning new stuff each and every school year.
She wanted to decrease the review time to two weeks and hoped to make changes in the scheduling of the semesters, too.
A vehicle pulled into the parking space next to her. Startled, she glanced around to see Jeremy in the SUV.
He rolled down the window. “Checking out your new domain?”
She nodded, feeling a little shy because he’d read her so easily. “I wanted to see where the building was located and how the town was laid out.”
“Where’s your car?”
“I walked down from the hotel. I needed the exercise after spending all those hours in traffic yesterday.”
“Good thinking. I’m heading for the bridge site south of here, down toward Desolation Canyon. I saw you when I pulled out of the parking lot at the DOT building and wondered if you’d like to go along. The scenery is pretty nice.”
The educational offices were across the street from the courthouse. The squat building down from the courthouse was the one he pointed out as the DOT regional headquarters. She hadn’t realized it would be near her workplace.
“You probably don’t want to be trapped in a car again after your long trip yesterday,” Jeremy said when she failed to respond.
She turned to him. “Sorry, I was thinking about work. If you’re sure I won’t be in the way, I’d love a scenic tour of the area,” she said on an impulse she couldn’t quite explain.
“Hop in,” he invited with an engaging smile.
As they drove out of town, she had to chuckle at the dinosaur that welcomed visitors.
“Yeah,” Jeremy said. “It takes some getting used to.”
“Why pink?”
“Beats me.”
It was nice, she realized, to laugh with him, to have someone to be at ease with. Jeremy was the only person who knew all the ugly details of her secret past, so she didn’t have to be on guard with him every minute the way she was with her family and friends back in Idaho. In fact, she hadn’t really been free and easy with anyone in ages, perhaps not since she was nineteen.
That was the past, she reminded herself hastily. When she’d agreed to take the new position, she’d decided the move would be a starting point, a new day in her life. Regret and mistakes would be wiped out, and she’d start over with a clean slate.
Could that be done? Her emotional upheaval since the wedding had upset those grand schemes, and now she was unsure she’d done the correct thing.
Her gaze was drawn to her companion. What an irony that the one person who knew all the details of her foolish, betrayed heart should be here, reminding her of long-ago dreams and the confidence she’d once had in them.
“Look,” he said softly, pointing out the rugged view in front of the truck. “The Uinta Mountains of this area are unique in that they run east-west rather than north-south like most ranges. We also have eleven peaks over thirteen-thousand feet. King’s Peak, at 13,498, is the highest in the state.” He paused. “Am I boring you with the travelogue?”
“Not at all. I like knowing about the area where I live. Most people don’t realize there are canyons and cliffs up here that are as impressive as the Grand Canyon.”
“Yeah, Desolation Canyon of the Green River for one. It’s a prime rafting area.”
“Have you gone down it in a raft?”
“Several times. It’s fun.”
“If you like life-threatening adventure,” she murmured wryly.
His chuckle was low and husky. Intimate. It sent a funny sensation down her spine. Being with Jeremy, away from their common environment, put a different angle on their knowing each other, as if the past was too far away to count.
She frowned as an uneasy feeling disturbed her pleasure with the scenery. She wasn’t an adventurer, she decided. She liked life to be predictable and stable. She no longer considered living in a van and following the best surf to be the height of fun as she had as a four-year-old. She was no longer positive she knew everything worth knowing as she had been at nineteen.
Young and foolish? Yeah, been there, done that.
When he pulled off the road at a vista point, she got out of the SUV and stood on the lookout, wary and disturbed.
To the west rose the Badland cliffs. To the east was the gorge of the river. She and Jeremy stood on a mile-high plateau between the two. A breeze from the canyon caressed their faces, cooling the heat that enveloped her when he moved near.
“Look,” he said, speaking close to her ear, “I think there’s a bighorn on that bluff.”
She saw a white spot moving in the distance. The mountain sheep clambered up the steep incline and disappeared over the ridge.
“How do they manage such slopes?” she asked in awe.
“Suction cups for feet, I think.”
His breath touched her temple as he laughed. Instinctively she turned her face to his as amusement caught her unawares. She sucked in a quick, startled breath as she realized their lips were only inches apart. And that she wanted…
His eyes, which had some surprising green flecks near the pupil, locked on hers as if he could read that internal yearning. For a second that seemed an eternity, they stared at each other.
He stepped back. “We’d better move on. It’s a short distance to the site but very winding.”
They were mostly silent on the rest of the trip, other than her exclaiming over each new panoramic view, which seemed to occur with each bend in the road.
When they arrived at the construction camp, around thirty people were there, most of them operating huge machines that ate up big chucks of dirt and moved boulders as if they were toy building blocks. She was pleased to see a woman driving one of the behemoths and another, obviously in the last trimester of pregnancy, going into a trailer that had a sign declaring it to be the office.
Jeremy led the way to it. “Tina Ramsey, Zia Peters,” he introduced her to the pregnant woman. “Tina is the executive assistant of the site and keeps things on track around here. Zia is the new curriculum coordinator for the county education department. She arrived in town yesterday.”
“Glad to meet you,” the younger woman said. “Are you at the residential hotel? Everyone stays there when they arrive.”
“Yes. I rented a suite for a month while I’m looking for a place of my own,” Zia told the friendly younger woman.
“My cousin Jim is in real estate. You should check with him. Are you looking to rent or buy?”
“Rent for now. I would like a small house, if possible.”
Tina wrinkled her nose. “Those are hard to find. People tend to stay put.” Her laughter was infectious. “There was an article in the local paper about the county’s plans for the school system, if the federal funds come through. It mentioned you.”
Zia liked the vivacious young woman. She was friendly and very pretty with thick black hair that almost reached her waist, fair skin and intriguing gray eyes that flashed like quicksilver as she talked.
Tina turned her attention to her boss. “I have the lading bills for you to look over. Also, I need your signature for the overtime hours last week.”
Zia glanced out the trailer window at the busy compound while they conferred. Jeremy had just started his new position, yet the two seemed very comfortable with each other.
She wasn’t particularly comfortable with anyone at first meeting. For her, friendship had to grow slowly. Only time would tell if the person was trustworthy. Her attitude was a lot different from what it had been at one time, when she’d been prone to snap judgments.
Maybe part of turning over a new leaf was learning to trust others without so many of the reservations learned from the past.
“Come on,” Jeremy said. “I’ll show you around.”
Jeremy, like his uncle, was one of the most honorable people she’d ever met, she mused as she fell into step beside him. He would never walk out on anyone who needed him….
He took her arm and led the way outside, interrupting the unsettling introspection.
The gorge where the new road would cross was narrow and deep. Below them, the river rushed over rocks as big as cars. The land on either side was beautiful in a wild, natural way that didn’t invite habitation.
“This will be the foundation of a rainbow bridge,” Jeremy explained, pointing out the concrete piers.
“Rainbow?” That sounded too fanciful for a bridge.
“The roadbed will be built across the top of an arch made of steel beams and attached to piers on each side. It’s a fairly simple form of construction and very strong. The Chinese used the technique a couple of thousand years ago, only they built the whole bridge from logs lashed together and the arch also functioned as the road. Unfortunately none are standing now, we only have a few engravings to go by.”
By the time they’d finished the tour, including crossing to the other side and back on a rather precarious—in her opinion—footbridge, she’d learned a lot more about bridges than was strictly necessary in her view. She was aware of amusement in Jeremy’s eyes as he gave her the guided tour.
The footbridge was like a ladder laid across the gorge with flimsy ropes for railings. The workers could probably dash across as sure-footed as the bighorn they’d seen earlier.
Zia kept her eyes on where she put her feet, aware of the water ten stories below and of the gaps between the foot supports which looked wide enough to fall through.
“You handled that very well,” Jeremy commented when they had safely returned to the main camp. “Some people can’t take seeing the empty space below them. They freeze.”
“It wasn’t empty,” she muttered dryly. “There was a river moving at around sixty miles an hour a hundred feet below.”
That caused the workers who overheard them to laugh with far more enthusiasm than the remark deserved. Jeremy joined in.
She managed a weak smile and shook her head.
“It’s almost noon,” he said. “Ready for lunch?”
“Here?”
He nodded. “We have a mess tent.”
“I hope it’s on this side of the river.” She grinned as everyone again laughed and went with Jeremy to a metal-roofed building with canvas sides behind the office trailer. “Wow, air-conditioning.”
He explained the luxury to her. “It gets so hot in the summer, the workers need a break from the heat at times.”
The temperature was in the eighties now, but in July and August, the thermometer would climb into the mid-nineties on average during the day. At night, it could drop to around fifty, or even into the forties. Although usually dry during the summer, thunderstorms could bring flash floods. The high desert was not a place for careless people.
They went through a buffet line that offered several entrées of meat and vegetables, then sat at a long table where Tina and two women were already seated. Zia recognized one of them as the equipment operator she’d noticed when they first arrived. Jeremy introduced the three. “Paula and Marti, this is Zia.”
“How did you learn to handle that huge machine?” Zia asked Marti after they said hello.
“School,” Marti told her. “At heavy equipment schools, you learn to handle all kinds of machines. My dad had a road repair company, but he wouldn’t let me work for him. So I decided to show him women could handle dozers the same as men.”
“She’s one of the best,” Jeremy added. “She agreed to come here from the Salt Lake area after I showed her the article on the new education plans. In a way, you helped me hire her.”
“I have a boy and girl, sixth and fourth grades,” the woman continued the story. “I wasn’t sure the schools were as good here as in the city.”
“The curriculum planning is part of a new federal program being tried in several states. I’m excited about it,” Zia said.
She and Marti, who looked around forty, discussed the school situation in depth during most of the meal. Once when she glanced at Jeremy, he had a thoughtful smile on his handsome face as he observed them. She smiled back and returned to the conversation.
He, his assistant and the other woman, who kept up with expenses for the DOT, held their own discussion of site problems while they ate. Zia listened after the equipment operator left to go back to work.
Apparently cost was a big factor in Jeremy’s being moved from his former work site near Bryce Canyon to Uinta County. The bridge construction was way past schedule and over budget. He was to get things moving and under control.
Listening to him, she felt a totally unwarranted sense of pride at his masterful grasp of the situation. It was obvious the other two respected his decisions. She was glad things were working out so well for him in his new position.
Shortly after one, they were on the road again, heading north toward town. “Was that any fun for you at all?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. I enjoyed it a lot. The scenery was great, as promised, and the building site was very interesting. I feel like an expert on road construction now and will amaze my friends when I explain rainbow bridges to them.”
He laughed heartily at her claim, which pleased her.
As they passed the city limits sign, she became somber. She had enjoyed herself, perhaps too much. She couldn’t rely on Jeremy for companionship. It wouldn’t be fair. His time would be better spent finding the woman of his dreams.
Her mother had indicated she was worried about Jeremy and the fact that he’d never married. Caileen thought it was because of the unsettled life he’d lived during his youth. His father had died of a heart attack at a very young age, then his uncle—the middle Aquilon brother—rolled his truck one snowy night and died of exposure before being found. The problems with Family Services before being left in peace with his uncle Jeff had probably made him as cautious in love as her experience with Sammy had made her.
Besides, she didn’t think Jeremy liked her very much. She’d known, from the moment they’d first met, that he thought of her as a willful only child who’d given her mom grief for no good reason, not like Krista and Tony being beaten by a foster father or having a father drop dead like Jeremy. By contrast she’d had an easy life.
She’d just taken it hard, she admitted sardonically.
“You don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” he continued as they neared the hotel, his manner thoughtful.
She was astounded. “I’m not acting, Jeremy. I really did have a great time today. I liked the tour. It was interesting talking to your workers.” She paused. “I was tired last night, so I probably wasn’t very good company. I’m sorry if I disappointed you in some way.”
“I didn’t mean to give that impression. But, it occurs to me that you might have felt pressured to, uh, be friendly. I want you to know you don’t have to. We don’t have to see each other at all.”
She laid her head back on the seat and laughed softly. “We’re both fools,” she told him. “I thought you were being nice because you felt you had to take care of me. I can’t believe Mom called and asked you to check that I arrived safely. As if I were a ten-year-old off on my first trip alone. Honestly,” she ended in amused exasperation.
“Okay, I guess we understand each other then,” he said. “No more Mr. Nice Guy,” he added in the tough manner of an action-adventure hero.
“Right. We can check in on each other once in a while to keep the folks off our case, but otherwise we go our own ways.”
“Agreed.”
When he stopped at the hotel, she jumped down from the SUV before he could get out. “Thanks again for the tour. As soon as I find a place to live, I’ll invite you to dinner.”
He gave her a calculating glance. “A home-cooked meal would be nice, like the meat loaf your mom makes.”
“Can do,” she assured him. “I’ll get in touch when I’m settled. Okay?”
After he nodded, she closed the truck door and headed for her room. Standing on the porch, she watched him drive down the street. It made her feel good to be on solid footing with him, she realized. Maybe they could be friends.
Casual friends, she amended, going into her pleasant room. Occasional friends, the type you talk to whenever you run into each other on the street. Maybe they would have coffee once in a while, or lunch. Nothing that demanded a lot of fuss and bother, or that could be called a relationship.
Anything more would never work between them. The past would always be there, ready to spring up when least expected, reminding her of the reasons she didn’t want any connection to her misguided youth. He would probably prefer to avoid her, too.
However, when she’d danced with him at the wedding, she hadn’t been thinking of the past at all. Instead, her foolish heart had envisioned a future filled with all the good things that could exist between a couple who truly loved each other.
The intense longing returned. She wanted…she wanted something different from life. Maybe she would find it here.
She sighed as she settled into a chair and stared out the window at the sweeping vista of mountains. She would keep her word and invite Jeremy to dinner when she found a home, then…then her obligation to him would be done.
Chapter Three
Zia shook hands with the real estate agent. “Thanks for your help. If I see anything that looks interesting this weekend, I’ll call you on Monday.”
“Same here,” Jim Ramsey said.
She had contacted Tina Ramsey’s cousin on Monday. Jim was around her age, about two inches shorter and heavyset. He was outgoing and cheerful, also enthusiastic about her finding a place to live.
But after searching all week—today was Friday—the prospects didn’t look great, in her opinion.
“There are places coming on the market all the time,” he assured her in a hearty manner. “If you want to buy, I know of several cottages for sale, a couple of them in town or close in, more in the country.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Sure you don’t want a ride to the hotel?”
She shook her head. “I’ll walk. I like the exercise.”
She strolled down the street, leaving him in front of the real estate office, which was two blocks from the educational building. One thing about a small town—one was never far from anywhere in it.
When she passed the DOT facility, she quickly scanned the parking lot. She spotted Jeremy’s SUV near the side entrance.
“Hey,” he called to her, coming out the door at that moment.
His appearance startled her as it had last Friday when she’d arrived in town, as if an apparition had suddenly materialized.
“Jeremy, hello,” she said, breathless for no reason…no reason at all. He was dressed in dark slacks and a white shirt with a tie. A suit jacket was slung over his shoulder. With his summer Stetson, he looked, she thought, like a rugged Western hero on a photo shoot for some classy magazine.
He came over to the sidewalk. “How’s it going?”
“If you’re talking about the house search, it isn’t.” She managed a smile so he wouldn’t think she was whining.
“What’s the problem?”
“I’m not sure,” she said ruefully, “but I think my finances don’t match my tastes.”
When he laughed, his teeth were incredibly white against the tawny shades of his skin. He had a killer smile. It highlighted his whole face, forcing her to realize anew his natural good looks and masculine grace, both of which were reasons why her friends had always wanted to get acquainted with him.
“Have you had lunch?” he asked. “I’m going now and would be glad to have company.”
She hesitated, then nodded. “I just got back from house hunting with Jim Ramsey.”
“Tina’s cousin? I seem to recall her mentioning him.”
“She did. He seems to know the area really well. We’ve been over on the east side of town, out in the county, actually.”
“My place is out that way, too.” Jeremy took her arm and guided her down the street. He pointed out two restaurants. “Mexican or the soup and sandwich place?”
“Mexican,” she decided. “I ate at the sandwich place yesterday. The food was delicious. The owner there was the one who told me to check out the cottages east of town. She said people were selling their vacation homes or renting them since prices had started falling.”
After they were inside the restaurant and sipping from tall, frosty glasses of iced tea, they quickly made their selections and ordered.
“I like a woman who can make up her mind,” he said when they were alone again.
She had to smile at his rueful tone. “Is that something you’ve had a problem with in the past?”
“Just once. When I was stationed in Salt Lake City for six months, I dated a woman who managed a gift shop. I don’t know how she ever ordered merchandise because it took her a week to decide what she wanted for dinner.”
“Mmm, you must have had very long dates.”
He gave her a wry grimace. “Okay, maybe it only took her thirty minutes, but it seemed like a week.”
Their salads arrived, and they ate in silence for a few minutes. Zia tried to think of something to say, but her mind stayed stubbornly on the woman who had lost out on a relationship with him. “I assume you didn’t ask her out again?”
“Actually I did, but it was the same the second time. When she invited me to a cookout with friends, I had to decline because I’d been transferred to the Bryce Canyon project.”
“You were glad,” Zia said in slightly accusatory tones.
“I was. The move made it easier to break it off.”
She eyed him thoughtfully. “I think men still have the advantage in dating, especially if you made the first contact. You can simply not call again.”
“What if she calls you?”
“Screen your calls and let the answering machine pick up if you don’t want to talk.”
“And don’t call back?”
“Right. That’s what my friends do with a guy they don’t want to see again. Wouldn’t the same tactic work for men?”
“I suppose.”
“What?” she said when he frowned.
“It doesn’t seem quite fair to leave someone dangling.”
“So what do you do if you haven’t been transferred to a new location and you don’t want to see someone again?” she asked, then was annoyed at herself for the blatant curiosity about him and his dating life.
“I tell them that work is going to keep me busy for several weeks. Which is mostly true,” he added. “And I’m out of town at the construction sites a lot, too.”
“I have a friend who studied ethics. She said the truth told in an untruthful way is still a lie.” Zia grinned as she waited to see what he would say to that.
“What about you?” he asked, giving her a narrow-eyed scrutiny and ignoring her gibe. “What do you do to fend off unwanted men? You must get calls by the score.”
“Hardly. I don’t usually accept dates unless I’ve known the man for a while.” When he raised his eyebrows at this, she continued, “I like to get to know people and see how they respond in social situations before being alone with them. It makes things easier, don’t you think?”
“Yes,” he said softly, “I do.”
Something in his eyes made her wonder if she’d said too much. Being cautious was probably not the way he thought of her. She’d once acted rashly, impulsively and the consequences be damned.
“Well, back to the housing market,” she said brightly. “Do you have any advice? Should I think about buying?”
“How do you feel about your job?” he asked.
She was surprised. “Well, I don’t really know. I talked to the superintendent of schools on Monday, looked my office over on Tuesday and met the department secretary on Wednesday. She looks as if she moved in when the facility was built. I have no idea if I’ll last longer than my three-year contract.”
“You got a contract?”
“Yes. It’s an administrative position. Instead of tenure, we agree on a specified time to put my ideas into action and see results.” She shrugged. “If things don’t turn around as fast as the school board thinks it should, they have to buy out the contract to get rid of me.”
“Mmm, maybe you’d better wait before buying a house, at least until you have a few months under your belt.”
“That’s what I thought, too.” She sighed. “Finding a small house to rent is more difficult than I thought it would be.”
“That’s why I bought a place. I thought I’d be here for at least ten years, but then we ran into problems in the southwest region again. I’ve used a lot of vacation time to work on the cabin, though. It’s coming along. I’ll get a lot more done now that I’m stationed here.”
“How long do you think you’ll be in this district?”
“I plan to retire here.” His charming grin popped up. “Unless they want to put me in charge of the whole DOT. I don’t see that happening.”
“Why not?”
“There’s too much politics going on at the state level. I’d tell some big shot where to get off and probably be out the door in record time.”
“I’ve always found you to be very tactful,” she assured him.
He was silent for a minute, then his eyes met hers. “With some people, it’s easier to be gentle than with others.”
Gentle.
The word lingered in Zia’s mind at the grocery where she bought fruit, bread and peanut butter and at the Laundromat where she washed and dried the clothing she’d worn that week.
Later, as evening painted the sky in soft hues, she sat on the side porch of the hotel and ate a solitary meal, the word echoing in her head like thunder reverberating off distant mountain peaks, plangent and haunting.
Jeremy was referring to women, she decided. Actually he was gentle with all who were smaller, weaker than himself. Look how wonderful he’d been with his stepcousins, rescuing Tony and Krista from that horrible foster father when they were children. Both had grown up to be fine, decent citizens, thanks to his influence as well as his uncle’s.
Whoever caught his heart would be loved and cherished forever. A lucky woman.
She tried to put the luncheon conversation out of mind, but words and phrases kept popping up like new bits of scenery with each curve in a winding road.
She suddenly wished Jeremy was with her. She wanted to ask him about…about life and love and what it all meant…
“Miss Peters?”
She jerked at the sound of her name. A young man stood at the corner of the porch. The night clerk, she realized.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“You have a call. Shall I transfer it to your room phone?”
“Yes, please. Thank you,” she added, hurrying inside.
A second later, the phone rang. She sat on the bed and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Zia?”
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“Heather. I tried to get you on your cell phone but couldn’t get an answer.”
“It’s on the charger,” Zia explained, her mind racing.
Heather. Her mother’s longtime friend. There was only one reason she would be calling.
“What’s happened?” Zia asked, steeling herself for bad news.
“Your mother is ill. An infection of some kind. The ambulance is taking her to the hospital in Boise. Jeff is with her. He asked me to call.”
“An infection?” Zia questioned. “Where?”
“It’s in her gall bladder and liver. Apparently it caused the bile duct to close and destroy most of her liver before they realized what the problem was.”
Zia tried to take in the information, but a sense of panic was setting in fast. “What are they going to do at the Boise hospital?” The city was an hour away, and there was a small county hospital in their hometown.
Heather hesitated before saying, “Stop the infection, first of all. There’s internal bleeding. They’ll have to take care of that, too. The liver damage is pretty serious. I, uh, I think you’d better consider coming home.”
Zia had already determined that. “I’ll be there by morning,” she said. “Have you called anyone else?”
“No, you’re the first one who came to mind. Do you want me to call your dad?”
“I—I don’t know. No. I’ll call him tomorrow…when we know more.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “Jeremy. I can contact him. We need to call Tony and Julianne. Krista and Lance are still on their honeymoon. They’re someplace in Europe. Let’s wait on them.”
“Right. Jeff gave me Caileen’s address book. That’s where I got your cell number. When I didn’t get an answer, I remembered you were staying at the hotel. Caileen had mentioned the name at lunch the other day.”
Heather, a paralegal from juvenile court, and her mother had been having lunch once a week for as long as Zia could remember.
“When I called the hotel, the clerk said he’d seen you outside when he came on duty,” Heather finished.
“Thank God,” Zia murmured. “I’ll call Jeremy and start packing. Is there anything else I need to do?”
“Not that I can think of. I’ll call your cell number if anything changes. Jeff asked if I could be the message hub in case you guys have trouble getting through at the hospital.”
“Thanks, Heather. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“Drive carefully. We don’t need you in an accident.”
“Yes, I’ll be careful.”
After hanging up, Zia clicked on Jeremy’s number, but either his cell phone was off or he was out of range. She left a voice mail for him to call her right away. Then she grabbed her largest case and tossed the contents of the bureau into it, mostly jeans, T-shirts and underwear. Since her overnight case held her makeup and toiletries, she closed it and set it next to the larger piece.
In less than fifteen minutes, with jacket and purse in hand, she was ready to go. Dusk had deepened to twilight as she tried Jeremy again.
Still no answer.
After putting her luggage in her car, she went to the hotel desk and explained to the night clerk about the family emergency and left her cell number with him in case anyone needed to get in touch.
“You’re keeping your room?” he asked.
“Yes. I still have some things in it.”
“Very good. Be careful on the road. People drive too fast since there’s not much traffic.”
“Thanks, I will.”
After trying Jeremy once more, she located his address on the county map and headed out. It didn’t occur to her until she was well on her way that he might not consider it necessary to go to Idaho. He might prefer to wait until they knew the situation.
Whatever his decision, she was definitely going home.
She found his mailbox on the county road, the numbers reflecting in her headlights so they were easy to read. She turned onto the gravel drive.
In a couple of minutes she came upon the house tucked into a clearing among the pines and cedars. It wasn’t the rustic cabin she’d expected. Instead it looked more like a small, elegant lodge with stones in desert hues of ocher and terra-cotta covering the bottom half and a very soft terra-cotta stucco on the upper part. A window in the gable indicated an attic room under the eaves.
His SUV was under the attached carport, and a light was on inside. Relieved, she parked and hurried to the door.
The oak door was open, but a screen door kept out intruders. Hearing footsteps, she leaned close and peered in.
“Jeremy?” she called upon spotting movement in the dim hall.
The figure paused. “Zia?”
“Yes.” Without waiting for an invitation, she opened the screen door and went inside. “I’m so glad you’re home—”
That’s when it hit her that he’d just come out of the shower. In the soft light of the living room lamp, she caught only an impression of a muscular male body before he disappeared.
She went totally still for a second. “I’m sorry,” she called out, impatient with the unexpected rise in temperature and heartbeat his naked presence engendered. This was no time for niceties. “I didn’t mean to barge in, but there’s an emergency.”
He stepped back into view, a towel secured around his lean hips. “What kind of emergency?”
“My mother is very ill. Jeff is taking her to Boise in an ambulance.”
“What’s wrong?”
She told him what she knew.
He nodded, then brushed the lock of damp hair off his forehead. “That sounds serious,” he said, taking a couple of steps into the room.
“I’m on my way to the hospital. I thought, if you wanted to go, we could travel together. Mom…” Her throat closed up.
“Are you packed and ready?”
She nodded.
“Give me ten minutes.”
He disappeared into another room farther down the hall. She sank into a deep leather chair that faced the hearth. Her heart steadied. She exhaled a somewhat shaky breath and gazed around the room. The walls had a plaster finish, Tuscan-style, with pale golden paint glazed with sienna. It was very attractive.
The kitchen was small and tucked into an alcove behind the right-hand side of the great room. The cabinets were cedar, the appliances new and modern. An island with a cooktop separated it from the living area, which spanned the width of the house. The sofa was rich, brown leather that matched the chair she sat in. Another chair, also a recliner, was smaller and upholstered in a deep terra-cotta and tan chenille.
A long hassock with a tray on it served as a coffee table. Attractive floor lamps anchored each end of the sofa. A low chest of drawers with two buffet lamps nestled under a side window that framed a view of woods and a creek.
A round table of oak with six chairs and a breakfront cabinet occupied the other end of the broad living space.
She wondered who had picked out the furnishings. A woman, she concluded. She couldn’t imagine Jeremy giving much thought to interior design.
He returned to the living room and tossed a duffel bag on the floor near the door. A shaving kit landed beside it.
“I need a few more minutes,” he said, going into the kitchen.
Opening a cedar-lined door, which proved to be the refrigerator, he removed several items. He poured the milk down the drain, ran some leftovers through the disposal and tossed salad greens far out the side door.
“There, that should do it,” he said with another glance around the neat space.
“Your home is very nice,” she said, rising.
He smiled, but it didn’t erase the worried look in his eyes. “Someday I’ll show you the pictures I took before I started the remodel. The place didn’t have a lot going for it.”
“Did you pick out the furniture?”
“Yeah, but Krista advised me on colors and all that. I sent her pictures by phone and she okayed the sofa and chairs. The couple who own the furniture store did the layout and talked me into that chest. I think they called it a credenza.”
“The hassock and tray are very up-to-date.”
“It’s also great to prop your feet on when the guys are over for beer and pizza night.”
She managed a laugh.
He came around the island and laid a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be okay. Caileen is tough. She’ll make it.”
She nodded, unable to speak for a second. “Are you ready?”
“Yes. I’ll call a couple of my supervisors when we get to town and put them in charge until I get back.”
“We probably won’t be gone long.” The words sounded false even to her ears.
“Let’s hit the road.” He waited for her to exit, then turned out the lights and locked up. “We’ll use the SUV.”
She didn’t argue, but went to her car and got her luggage while he stored his in the back of his vehicle. He added her two cases when she brought them over.
“Do you want to leave your car here or in town?”
“Is it okay here?”
He nodded. “I’ve never had any trouble.”
“I’ll leave it.”
After ushering her into the passenger seat, he belted himself in and they left on a journey that would take them most of the night. “Maybe we won’t have any road delays at night,” she said as he turned onto the paved county road.
“Yeah, that’ll be a real plus.”
In town, he stopped by the DOT office and called those who needed to know where he was going while she waited in the SUV. When he returned, he had a large insulated container of coffee and two plastic cups, plus two cans of soda. He placed a small wire basket of snacks—peanuts, crackers, chips, two apples—on the center console.
“This should get us through until breakfast,” he told her, heading west on the highway out of town.
“It took me several hours to make the trip home for Krista’s wedding,” she murmured, gazing past the sweep of the headlights into the countryside when they were west of town.
Glancing at his profile, she recalled how handsome, how…how cosmopolitan he’d seemed at the wedding. She’d thought of Jeremy as an earthy sort—well, being a civil engineer, that seemed natural—but she’d discovered another side to him, one that was urbane and at ease in the most elegant surroundings.
Pulling her gaze back to the countryside, she frowned at the sudden pang that went through her, a piercing moment of longing for something that was missing in her life, that had always been just beyond her grasp. She couldn’t say what it was.
The moon limned the pavement into a ghostly ribbon. She saw no lights ahead to indicate oncoming traffic. They could have been the only creatures in the world. It was an eerie sensation.
Jeremy set the cruise control, popped the top on one of the cans and took a long drink, then placed it in a cup holder. “I haven’t had dinner,” he said as he tore open a bag of chips with his teeth.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’d eaten earlier. I didn’t think about your missing dinner,” she finished.
“That’s okay. I’d just gotten in from the bridge site shortly before you arrived. I decided I needed a bath more than food at the moment.”
“Are you having problems with the construction?”
“Yes. There’s soft rock layered in with the hard stuff. We have to have a solid base for the piers.”
“So what will you do?”
“Drill pilings through the soft rock. It’ll cost more and delay the construction. Again.”
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Laurie Paige
SOMETIMES MR. RIGHT IS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSEZia Peters has had enough upheaval for three lifetimes. Now all she wants is a chance to get back on track–without the distraction of a man in her life. Still, when old friend Jeremy Aquilon offers his spare bedroom and a temporary job, she jumps at the chance. After all, Jeremy has seen her at her worst, and vice versa–no danger of romance there!Except Jeremy is hardly the boy she remembers. In fact, he might be the most handsome man she' s ever met, and her whole body knows it.Can she convince him that she' s changed? And more important, can she convince herself?Canyon CountyEveryone deserves a second chance…to find love
Jeremy felt bliss spread to every part of his body…into his soul.
Her eyes were closed, and her lovely face glowed. He brushed her curls from her face and kissed her brow, her temple, unable to stop touching her.
For the first time in his life, his body had gone beyond the command of his mind. Odd, but he didn’t feel a need for caution, as he usually did when a relationship threatened to become too intense. Instead, a welter of emotions coursed through him and he tried to sort them all out.
Tenderness?
Yeah.
Wonder?
That, too.
Confusion?
Definitely.
Dear Reader,
It is so difficult to leave a family, even a made-up one, whose lives I have been writing about for more than a year. From my own extended family as well as my husband’s, I enjoy watching our young ones grow up and flex their wings, while they establish careers and find their special person. I just never get tired of a complicated (as all matters of the heart tend to be) love story and seeing the hero/heroine coming to grips with their personal demons as well as learning to trust their hearts… Uh-oh, I’m getting all choked up. Anybody got a hankie?
Best,
A Place to Call Home
Laurie Paige
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
LAURIE PAIGE
“One of the nicest things about writing romances is researching locales, careers and ideas. In the interest of authenticity, most writers will try anything…once.” Along with her writing adventures, Laurie has been a NASA engineer, a past president of the Romance Writers of America, and is a mother and a grandmother. She was twice a Romance Writers of America RITA
Award finalist for Best Traditional Romance and has won awards from Romantic Times BOOKreviews for Best Silhouette Special Edition and Best Silhouette, in addition to appearing on the USA TODAY bestseller list. Recently resettled in Northern California, Laurie is looking forward to whatever experiences her next novel will provide.
Dedicated to all those who have reached a certain
age, in which case it’s “about the diamonds.”
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter One
Zia Peters couldn’t have been more startled when the familiar voice of Jeremy Aquilon greeted her outside the Residential Hotel of Vernal, Utah, as she climbed wearily out of her compact car.
“Jeremy,” she said blankly, staring as if she couldn’t quite recall who he was and managing to drop her keys and purse at the same time.
But of course she did know him. He was part of her “blended” family. When Jeremy’s uncle, Jeff, had taken in Jeremy and his two younger stepcousins—the cousins, a brother and sister, were underage and wards of the state—her mother had been assigned to the case…and ended up married to the orphans’ guardian.
That had been fourteen years ago. While her mother had fitted in perfectly with the Aquilons, Zia, at nineteen, hadn’t felt part of their family, or any family, not since her dad had walked out when she was four.
She summoned a smile as Jeremy stopped beside her. “What are you doing here?” she asked, the surprise obvious in her voice, not to mention other emotions she couldn’t define. She picked up her purse and tossed the keys inside.
“Waiting for you?” he suggested with a humorous lilt in his smooth baritone.
He had no idea how those words reached down and stirred a pot of turbulent emotion inside her. No one waited for her, and that was a fact. Chiding herself for the flash of self-pity, she maintained a pleasant expression, aware that his appearance was having a keen impact on her senses.
His hair gleamed shiny black in the sun as he ambled down the porch steps. The June breeze lifted the perpetual wave that curved over his forehead. The wayward lock looked silky soft as he brushed it to the side, unlike the hard, sinewy lines of his six-two body.
The playful wind also carried the scent of balsam and aftershave, as if he’d recently stepped out of the shower. His jawline, strong and angular, was smoothly shaved. An instinctive urge to test that smoothness had her drawing back in shock at the impulse.
His face was tanned from days working in the sun, his eyes were dark and he exuded a controlled masculinity, a quiet assurance that hinted at thoughts not spoken, depths not plumbed. All her friends had found him intriguing on the infrequent occasions when she and Jeremy had visited the Aquilon home at the same time during their college years.
As a civil engineer working for the state of Utah, he supervised the building of roads and bridges. She knew him as an unruffled solver of life’s problems, large or small. He’d come to the rescue of his cousins when he’d hardly been more than a boy himself, and he’d helped her through a rough patch once, a time that she’d rather forget. Neither of them ever referred to it.
Sorrow and regret, mixed with shame, embarrassment and other feelings too painful to sort out, flashed through her.
She shoved aside the emotions and popped open the trunk of her car. Matching his amused tone, she quipped, “Your crystal ball works better than mine. I wasn’t sure what time I was going to make it in due to all the road construction going on.”
“It’s summer. We have to get as much done as possible.”
He shrugged and reached past her to lift out her largest piece of luggage as if it weighed no more than her overnight case, which she removed from the trunk. He also took the medium one before she could grab it, his arm brushing hers as he did.
“Seriously, how did you know I was coming today?” she asked.
“Seriously,” he replied, still with the note of humor, “your mom called just before I left the office. She said you’d called on your cell phone and reported you were about thirty miles from town but stuck in traffic. She was worried you wouldn’t get in before dark. I told her the delay wasn’t more than fifteen minutes.” He paused. “I said I’d make sure you arrived okay.”
His gaze took in the last rays of sunlight on the western horizon before returning to her.
Suppressing annoyance that her mother had thought it necessary to contact Jeremy and ask him to check on her, she said brightly, “I’m fine.” She hesitated, then added, “I thought you were working on a bridge in the Desolation Canyon area.”
She knew he had a cabin near town, one he’d bought three years ago and was remodeling as he got time. Normally, he lived in an RV or temporary barracks at the construction site while on a job. Her new position as the county curriculum director would keep her busy at the school headquarters in town. She figured they wouldn’t run into each other often.
“Do you have a project in this area now?” she asked when he didn’t say anything.
His grin was brilliant enough to stop traffic. “You might say so. Vernal is the DOT’s district headquarters for this region, and I’m the new district manager. I’ll be at the office a lot, except when I’m in the field checking on progress. Or problems, as the case may be.”
DOT was the Department of Transportation. She hadn’t realized they would have a regional office in a town of eight thousand people. Industry here mostly consisted of services for travelers on Highway 40, the government offices of the county seat, businesses serving the ranchers, Indian reservations and forestry service in the surrounding area or outfitters catering to adventurers who came for fishing, hunting or rafting through Desolation Canyon on the Green River.
The biggest attraction was Dinosaur National Monument which straddled the border between Utah and Colorado. A huge pink dinosaur on Main Street welcomed people to the town.
“That’s wonderful,” she said sincerely. “Congratulations on the promotion. Uh, did you mention this when we were home for the wedding two weeks ago?”
He shook his head. “Truthfully, I didn’t think I had a chance at the position, so there was no point in talking about it.”
His stepcousin, Krista, had married into a very old, very wealthy Colorado family on the first Saturday of June.
Zia truly hoped the twenty-five-year-old found happiness in her marriage. Krista, an eleven-year-old when Jeff and Caileen wed, had readily welcomed Zia as a roommate when Zia had visited during college breaks.
Hero worship was something she didn’t deserve, but Krista hadn’t known that. The girl had been sweet and trusting and had asked Zia for advice as a youngster would of a much-admired older friend. If only she’d been the person Krista thought she was—wise and generous and kind. If only she could turn back the clock and be that person. Yeah, if only….
Zia sighed as she headed for the hotel lobby to sign in.
“Tired?” Jeremy asked companionably.
He was being polite. She knew that, but for a second, she pictured a different welcome, one in which the man of her dreams rushed out to greet her and sweep her into his arms in a loving embrace, happy to be with her again.
Since the wedding, with Krista so radiant and Lance so filled with adoration each time he’d looked at his bride, Zia had experienced a restless yearning that reached all the way to her soul or some place of deep, dark misery.
Where was the special person who would love her like that? Did he even exist, she questioned the part of her that sometimes, as at the wedding, longed for romance and fulfillment. Her eyes burned with sudden tears.
Heavens, but she was at a low point today, not a good time for a welcoming committee of any kind, even one as considerate as Jeremy.
“A little,” she admitted. “It was super of you to come by. As soon as I’m in my room, I’ll call the folks to let them know I made it okay.” She sounded briskly dismissive. “I’m sorry,” she immediately added. “I didn’t mean to be abrupt. I’m not very good company right now.”
“You probably need food,” he said in his unruffled manner. He glanced at his wristwatch. “How about if I come back in an hour or so and take you to the best steak house in town?”
What could she say to such a gracious offer but yes?
Besides, her mother would be appalled if she acted like a total ass to Jeremy. Truly, she didn’t mean to be unfriendly, but she really was weary. What should have been an easy drive from Provo, where she’d been supervisor of federal educational programs, to Vernal had taken several extra hours due to construction delays.
“Give me an hour and a half,” she requested. “I’m going to soak in a hot tub for a while before I do anything else.”
“Good idea.” He placed the large bag and the medium-size one on a luggage carrier inside the lobby before giving her a half wave, then headed out the door.
Zia sighed again and went to the front desk. “I’m Zia Peters. I have a reservation.”
“Welcome, Miss Peters,” the young woman behind the desk greeted her, her fingers busy on the computer as she pulled up the file. “I’m Rachel, your day host. You’re staying with us for two weeks?”
“Yes. Maybe more. I’ll be looking for an apartment, so I’m not sure how much time I’ll need.”
“No problem. Just let us know as soon as possible if you want extra time. Hmm, actually I can give you a better rate if you agree to stay a month. If you have to change the time span later, it’s no problem.”
The price break was a twenty percent discount, and Zia figured it would take at least a month to find a place. “Great. Let’s plan on a month.”
After filling out the forms and putting the charges on her credit card, she rolled the luggage cart to her room, pleased that it was on the ground floor and had a door opening onto the side porch as well as one to the inner corridor.
The queen bed fit into an alcove to the left of the sitting room. The bathroom was on that side, too. A tiny kitchen nestled into another niche, along with a closet, on the opposite wall.
Windows flanked the door to the porch, giving her a view of eastern hills, sagebrush and a line of chokecherries, salt cedars and willows along an arroyo.
She quickly hung her clothing in the closet, stored her other items in the dresser drawers, then ran a bath. While the tub was filling, she called her mom. “Hi, I’m in,” she said when her mother answered.
“Oh, good. You had such a long day, I was worried about you falling asleep at the wheel.”
Zia had gotten up early to let the movers collect her possessions and put them in storage until she got settled in her new place. The packing and loading had taken longer than planned, so she hadn’t hit the road until midafternoon. The traffic delays had added to the length of the trip.
“I’m fine,” she assured her mom.
“Did you see Jeremy?”
“Yes. He was here at the hotel when I arrived. We’re going to dinner later. At the best steak house in town,” she added.
“Good,” her mother said, her tone rich with approval.
Jeremy had always been hardworking and responsible and clear-thinking…all the things she’d had trouble with while growing up, all the things that brought on regret whenever she was reminded of the past.
She determinedly put the thought out of her mind. “Got to go,” she said brightly. “I want to take a hot bath and relax before we go to dinner.”
“Have a good time. Give Jeremy our love.”
“I will. Love you. Bye for now.”
She closed the cell phone, near despair or something equally gloomy. What was the matter with her? It had to be more than the wedding and the emotion associated with it, but what?
This move was supposed to be a good thing—sensible, logical, great for her career.
Except she hadn’t expected to see Jeremy the moment she arrived. After the long, hard day, she hadn’t been prepared to face him, just as she hadn’t been prepared for the turmoil inside when she’d danced with him at his cousin’s wedding.
Jeremy in jeans was appealing. Jeremy in a tux had been “awesome,” as one of Krista’s friends had said at the reception.
He really had been gorgeous. If Hollywood needed a new James Bond, he would be first on her list.
Shaking her head, she reminded herself she was no longer a teenager in an emotional and hormonal uproar, then stripped out of her jeans and T-shirt and headed for the tub.
“Ahh,” she groaned upon sinking into pleasantly hot water nearly up to her neck. She’d set the radio alarm for thirty minutes so she could relax completely without keeping an eye on the clock before facing the evening.
Zia sprang upright when the alarm went off. She’d tried meditation techniques, but she hadn’t relaxed at all during the soak although she’d given it her best.
Memories had returned to haunt her as they sometimes did when she was tired or tense or both. Seeing Jeremy had brought it all back—those days when every moment had seemed of earthshaking importance, when the world had revolved around her and her friends and their hectic lifestyle.
Or so she had thought.
She’d learned a harsh lesson the year she and Sammy broke up. The love of her young life had been horrified when she’d told him she was pregnant. While she wasn’t sure why the birth control pills had failed, other than she’d had a terrible cold and stomach flu that spring, she hadn’t seen it as a huge problem. Although a college dropout, Sammy had had a good job in construction.
Just as her father had at the same age. Now her dad owned his own construction company and made lots of money. True, that had happened much later in his life, but she’d envisioned her and Sammy working together and making their marriage a huge success…as opposed to her parents’ failure.
Why had she thought she was so much smarter and more capable than her mom had been at her age?
The confidence, or arrogance, of youth, she answered the question and surprisingly again felt the quick sting of remorse as she considered her mother’s life.
Caileen had dropped out of college and married at nineteen. Zia had been born ten months later. They had lived in a van, traveling around the country to the best surfing spots, her mom working at odd jobs while her dad did construction.
After nearly five years of roaming, her mom had moved into an apartment and worked for the university while finishing her degree in counseling. She’d also worked as a dishwasher at a local restaurant at night. The boss had let her bring her child with her. Some of Zia’s earliest memories were of sleeping in the storage room off the kitchen, surrounded by huge cans of food and hundred-pound sacks of potatoes.
She found herself smiling at that memory while an ache settled in her heart. Odd, to be so emotionally unsettled today.
Taking a new job as curriculum planner and coordinator for the county was a step up for her, one she was excited about, but a big responsibility. Perhaps that was the reason she felt so nervy.
She dressed in navy-blue slacks and a white shell, then laid out a long-sleeved shirt to take with her since the desert nights were usually cool at this elevation, which was over five thousand feet. She twisted her hair up on the back of her head and secured it with a butterfly clip before putting on a light foundation, eyeliner and rose-hued lipstick.
She still had twenty minutes, so she settled in a floral-covered rocking chair to wait, her thoughts once more on the past.
Six months after her fourth birthday, her parents had separated. They’d quarreled over money, over staying in one place, over her, over everything that touched their lives. Her fun, surfer-king father had walked out.
It had taken a long time to forgive her mother for that, and even longer to realize her dad had also made a choice and that it hadn’t included his wife and daughter. It wasn’t until she was alone, pregnant and worried about the future that she’d understood something of what her mother had gone through while trying to provide a healthy, stable home for a child who was asthmatic—thank goodness she’d outgrown that malady—and having to count every penny, plus getting in study time, too.
How had she withstood the stress and pressure and loneliness of those years?
Closing her eyes and resting her head on the chair back, Zia felt the familiar regret at her impatient defiance of Caileen’s rules and advice against a serious involvement during her first year of college. All the signs of Sammy’s self-absorption had been there, as her mom had pointed out, but she’d refused to see them. She’d been pretty self-centered, too.
Ah, well. What was done, was done.
She’d been foolish and naive at nineteen. At thirty-three, she hoped she was wiser. And a better person—
A knock on the outside door interrupted her musing.
Jeremy felt he could do no less than invite Zia out to dinner on her first night in town, especially since her mom had called and asked him to make sure Zia arrived okay. He would do anything for Caileen and his uncle Jeff, who had formed the stable home base every kid needed while growing up. His feelings for them ran deep.
Zia, on the other hand, had always seemed rather remote and aloof. However, he hadn’t been around her all that much, so he really couldn’t say. After Jeff and Caileen had married, Zia had gone to live in another state and work in her father’s construction company office while attending the university there. She and her mom hadn’t been getting along at the time.
In the fall, he’d left, too, going to the university in Boise on a math scholarship. Now, fourteen years later, it looked as if he and Zia were going to be residents of the same town. He wondered briefly if this would be a problem, but decided there was no reason for their lives to overlap more than in the past.
After finding out which room Zia was in, Jeremy went to the outside door and knocked. She answered at once.
As usual, her stunning beauty—five-nine, slender physique, long naturally blond hair, blue eyes—made his throat close for a second. The same thing had happened when he’d first seen her.
As a high school senior, he’d taken a college history course, intent on getting out on his own as soon as he finished his schooling. Zia had been in the class. That first day, all the guys had nearly fallen out of their chairs when she walked in with a friend, laughing and talking, seemingly unconscious of the picture she made.
He had to give her that. While most women would have used such great natural beauty to their advantage, Zia acted indifferent to hers.
At the time, he’d had no idea their lives would become entangled before the school year was over.
“Hello,” she said, opening the door and pulling him back into the present.
Her scent enveloped him as he returned her greeting. While her perfume was sometimes floral, as at the wedding, or sometimes on the spicy side, as now, there was always a hint of freshness about her, as if she embodied springtime.
“You were right about needing food.” she told him with a rueful grimace. “I skipped lunch, then ate cheese crackers while sitting in traffic. Now I’m starved.”
He nodded at her small talk and waited while she gathered her purse and a shirt for the evening, then escorted her to the four-wheel drive SUV so necessary for his work in a country of deep canyons, dry washes and towering mesas.
“The Green River steak house is a local favorite. We try to keep it a secret from outsiders,” he said after they were on their way.
“I promise not to tell anyone about it.”
He smiled and relaxed at the mock seriousness of her quip. She was in a better humor now than when she’d first arrived. He’d always felt that she avoided him whenever possible…well, actually she avoided the entire family other than very brief visits on special occasions, such as being asked to take part in the wedding as Krista’s maid of honor.
For a second his insides tightened painfully as he envisioned the angel dressed in blue who came down the aisle before the bride. He’d hardly been able to tear his gaze away. Odd, but in some ways, it was almost as if Zia hadn’t been present, as if her spirit had fled and left only the incredibly lovely husk of her body to carry out her duties.
When he’d danced with her at the reception, she’d stared over his shoulder at some distant view invisible to lesser mortals. He’d puzzled over her remote attitude, but if she preferred to remain aloof from the rest of them, it was her loss.
However, later, before Krista and Lance left on their honeymoon, he’d overheard Zia whisper, “Be happy, Krista. Find something in each day to bring joy to you and Lance.”
When they waved the couple off, he’d caught an expression of intense…loneliness? grief?…in her eyes for a second, then she’d walked away from the crowd of well-wishers and headed for her car as if she couldn’t wait to flee.
Against his will, he recalled blue eyes that had once looked like bruises in a face so pale he’d been afraid she was going to die on him.
He sucked in a harsh breath as a gang of tiny darts hit his heart all at once, making him aware that he’d once been truly worried for the lovely woman seated beside him, who normally kept up a pleasant facade and rarely gave a hint of her own deeper feelings. Ignoring the softer part of himself that still felt sorry for her in some ways, he pulled into a parking space and went around to help her out of the SUV.
“This is lovely,” she said.
He stopped when she did and gazed at the colors of the sunset, all gold and magenta, highlighting the sky beyond the mesa country that dominated the horizon.
“Yes,” he said, but his eyes had returned to her.
He mentally muttered a curse at the attraction he couldn’t deny. Okay, she was gorgeous, but beauty is as beauty does.
When he’d first met Zia, she’d been headstrong, thoughtless and self-centered. In his opinion. But that was long ago. In all fairness, he admitted he really didn’t know her as an adult.
Taking her arm, he ushered her inside where they were led to a table next to the window.
“A full panoramic view,” she said in approval. “I love the colors of a desert sunset, don’t you?”
He answered with a grunt of agreement and accepted the menu the hostess handed him.
He observed her over the edge of the menu. There was something different about her, he decided, feeling the annoying little darts again, something sad or perhaps nostalgic. Maybe she was remembering the past, too.
“I can recommend the prime rib,” he said, bringing them back to the mundane present.
They both ordered the prime rib special. He selected a red wine, a merlot that he recalled she liked.
“The wedding was lovely, wasn’t it?” she said after the wine had been served, along with a basket of hot bread.
“The bride and groom are probably at their computers as we speak, going over contracts,” he said, grinning.
Her laughter was unexpected, a gift reaching right down into his chest. Now where had that strange idea come from?
“I’m surprised they’re taking a month for a honeymoon. But I’m glad they are,” she added thoughtfully.
“I don’t think it matters. Both of them are such workaholics, they would probably rather be up to their ears in one of their projects than anywhere else. I still have trouble seeing Krista as a hard-nosed businesswoman.”
“Ah, but you didn’t hear her tell the florist that if he wanted any future orders from the Aquilons, he’d better fulfill the agreement they had and pronto! He came up with the rest of the floral arrangements with no delays.”
When they chuckled together, he felt tension flow out of him. So, the dinner was going to go okay. After tonight, he would be busy with his new job and she would be engrossed in hers.
For a second, he wondered if fate was playing some diabolical trick on them, bringing them to the same town at the same time via the promotions. Caileen had been glad, but he thought that was because she was a mother with one chick, and that chick was very beautiful…not to mention distant and rather standoffish.
Maybe that was why she hadn’t married, which was another reason her mother worried about her. At the wedding reception, he’d heard Caileen whisper to his uncle that she hoped Zia would find someone soon.
“Aren’t you rather young to be a district manager?” Zia asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Irritation washed over him, but he gave her a lazy smile while slightly tipping his glass toward her. “I’m only three months younger than you and you’re the school curriculum director for the whole county.”
“That’s not as impressive as being a district manager on the state level. I was wondering at the responsibility…but then, you’ve never been afraid to take on any amount of responsibility, have you?”
Blue eyes met his, and for a moment, he knew they were both remembering another place and another night that now seemed more of a nightmare than reality. He pushed the memory back into the black box of the past.
“You were seventeen when you ran away with Tony and Krista and lived on your own for a year. I still don’t see how you kept from starving.”
“In the summer, we lived off the land. I worked in a grocery store during the winter. I got all the discarded produce I wanted for free. A few bruises on the apples didn’t bother us.”
“You made up the year you lost in record time and graduated from college the same year I did. You were taking classes in high school and college at the same time. Remember that history class we were both in?”
“Yeah. I was in a hurry to get started.”
“With what?” she asked softly, a sardonic note in her voice.
“My career. My life,” he added for no good reason that he could think of.
“Life,” she echoed and her eyes went dark, as if she’d thought of something that made her unhappy.
The horde of darts pricked at him. He shrugged them off. Whatever her life was, it was of her own making. He had a full plate with his new position and the problems that went with it.
After the tender beef and baked potato dinner, he ordered coffee while she asked for tea with milk and brown sugar. He recalled that she preferred the tea over dessert, that she rarely ate dinner rolls and never indulged in something so decadent as butter. However, she loved brownies with pecans and had always praised Krista to the skies when she made them for her.
He wondered why he remembered something like that about her when there were other, more shattering things to muse on. He’d never asked, not then and not once in the intervening years, why she’d called him for help that night long ago. The night she’d lost the child she carried.
Chapter Two
It had been eerily dark that night, with only a sliver of moon showing beyond the trees lining the creek. Jeremy had answered Zia’s summons as quickly as possible, not sure what to expect. She’d said she needed a ride when she’d called him.
He parked his secondhand pickup in front of the cabin. The old fishing camp, part of a state park now, wasn’t going to be opened until extensive renovations were done to the cottages. Since the repairs hadn’t been started yet, he figured it would be a while before they were used again.
No other vehicles were around. Through a crack in the ancient cabin’s curtains, he could detect a light.
Zia.
His insides tightened as he got out and gently closed the door. He wondered why she’d called him. It wasn’t as if they were close or anything, even if his uncle and her mother did have something going between them.
So what could Zia’s call for help mean?
Forcing a calm he was far from feeling, he went to the cabin door and softly knocked. “Zia? It’s me, Jeremy.”
“Wait,” he heard her say in a strange voice, a hoarse whisper as if she were being strangled.
His nerves tightened as the seconds clicked by, then he heard the slide bolt being drawn back. He turned the knob and went inside. Zia, looking like hell and much older than her nineteen years, stared at him, her eyes the only color in her face.
“What is it?” he asked as she sat on the rumpled sleeping bag spread over the steel frame of a cot.
She pressed her lips together, then leaned forward, her hands gripping her knees, obviously in pain. Beneath the T-shirt and leggings she wore, he saw her abdominal muscles contract as if in a spasm. His insides tightened, too. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew it wasn’t good.
He settled beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. Pulling her hair into a bundle, he held it at the back of her neck so he could observe her face. “What’s happening?”
“Miscarriage,” she said. “I think.”
A shiver ran down his back. While he’d taken a first aid course, he wasn’t equipped for this type of emergency. He held her until the contraction subsided, until she sighed and pulled slightly away and gazed at him.
“Thanks for coming.” Her smile was weak, apologetic. “You were the only person I could think of…the only one I trusted.”
“Shouldn’t we go to the hospital or something?” he asked, wondering where all her elite, sophisticated friends were. She was part of the “in” crowd at the university.
“In a minute,” she said and gasped, bending forward from her waist and grasping her knees again. “Help me to the bathroom.”
He cupped an arm around her waist and half carried her into the adjoining room. Sweat trickled down his scalp, his chest, his back.
She gave him a weary, rueful glance from eyes that looked like bruised petals. He stepped back into the other room, leaving the door ajar in case she needed him.
Peering into the dingy mirror, she combed her hair and pulled it back with a stretchy band, then splashed water on her face. Little curling tendrils formed around her face, making her look as vulnerable as eleven-year-old Krista. Her audible sigh dipped right down inside him.
When she came out, he slipped an arm around her waist and helped her to the cot. Following her instructions, he gathered her belongings and erased all signs of her having been in the cabin. He stored the stuff in the truck and came back for her.
“Let me rest a minute, then we’ll go,” she said, then with a brief smile, she added, “Poor Jeremy. After donating blood and saving my life, are you worried that you’ll have to take care of me for the rest of your life?”
“The thought never entered my mind.”
That was the truth. She’d been a spectator at an illegal drag race a couple of months ago. The cars had side-swiped each other and a piece of chrome had flown off and hit her in the neck. It was one of those freakish moments life liked to throw at a person. He and his uncle, being O-negative in blood type, had been called by the hospital to help replace the large amount of blood she’d lost.
At the time, he hadn’t known their lives would become entangled due to family ties, he mused as he took a sip of coffee and returned to the present and the restaurant, aware of glances their way from other patrons. Zia drew attention wherever she went although, as usual, she seemed unaware of it.
He stared at the scar on the side of her neck, still visible above the collar of the shirt all these years later.
“I wore turtlenecks for the rest of that year so no one could see the scar,” she said, her eyes following his line of sight as she added milk and sugar to the cup of steaming tea.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” He looked at the sky, now a dark blue with a crystal drop of teal clinging to the horizon.
“You were remembering the past,” she said. “I was, too. It was terrible of me to put you in such a position. I didn’t know who else to call.”
“I wondered why you didn’t call Sammy.”
Her lovely face became solemn with a disillusionment she’d never before allowed to surface in his presence. “He’d already walked out on me once. I would hardly give him a chance to do so again. My best friend had driven me to the cabin and promised not to tell anyone where I was. I didn’t want to call her out in the middle of the night. Her parents would have questioned her if they’d heard her leaving at that hour.”
“So that left me.”
“Yes.” She sipped the tea, then gazed at him over the rim of the cup, the steam adding a mysterious aura to her eyes. “I’ve tried not to bother you with my woes since then.”
“Have there been other problems?” he asked.
She shook her head. Wispy curls floated around her temples. He remembered how soft her hair had been the one time he’d touched it. Sometime past midnight of that night long ago, he’d taken her to a twenty-four hour clinic where she’d been checked out and pronounced fine. The doctor had told them that over fifty percent of first pregnancies ended in miscarriage.
“Just the body’s way of preparing for the real thing,” he’d assured them in a hearty manner, treating them as a couple.
Neither he nor Zia had explained the truth. Between the two of them, they had managed to pay the bill. Later he’d received a check from Zia for his share. Two words had been written on the accompanying note. “Thanks forever.”
“Actually my life is quite calm and peaceful. Just the way I like it.” Her smile was droll.
He smiled, too. “Same here.”
“No serious involvement to give you heart pains?” she teased, surprising him with the question.
He grimaced. The woman he’d been dating had made it clear she wasn’t interested in moving from Cedar City in the southwestern part of the state to another small town in the northeastern section, so that had ended the relationship. “None. You?”
Her smile dimmed a bit. “I was going pretty steady with a high school teacher in Provo when this job offer came up. When he didn’t get down on his knees and beg me to stay, I was disappointed. Then I realized the promotion meant more to me than he did.”
“You didn’t love him,” Jeremy murmured.
“I cared about him, but I didn’t want a lifelong commitment.” Her eyes seemed to darken. “I’m not sure I ever will.”
“You can’t let a jerk like Sammy influence the rest of your relationships,” he advised.
“No, I haven’t. At least, I don’t think I have.” She sighed. “Mom’s worried, though. She made some strong hints during the wedding festivities that I might be too picky. I didn’t remind her that her first attempt at marriage ended in divorce.”
“Is that what you’re afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything,” she said, her tone cooler. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound sharp. I just haven’t met the one, I suppose.”
“Yeah, same here.”
“All my friends thought you were a hunk,” she murmured on a determinedly lighter note. “They kept dropping by the house when we were home on vacations. Did you notice?”
He shook his head. “I was concentrating too hard on getting my courses in, making decent grades and graduating. Nothing was going to stand in my way.”
“That’s what my mother said I should do when I was going with Sammy. I’ve never had the courage to tell her she was right.”
“It was a long time ago,” Jeremy advised, catching a hint of regret in her manner. “We were young.”
“Young,” she echoed, brushing back a curl from her cheek. “And foolish. Why do those two go together so easily?”
When she laughed, he did, too. But he didn’t share the irony. He felt sorry for her. She’d learned a hard lesson in trust, one she’d obviously never forgotten. However, that was neither here nor there. He felt he could truthfully report to her mom that Zia was safe and well in her new environment.
“Ready to go?” he asked as she patted back a yawn.
Zia studied the three-story building where she would be working come August. She had seven weeks to find a place to live, get her furniture out of storage and settle in. That should be plenty of time.
Meanwhile, she was reading over all her books on continuous courses of study for students from first to twelfth grade.
Research had shown that more than about six weeks off from school and the kids forgot a lot of what they had learned. That meant teachers had to spend at least a month reviewing old material before beginning new stuff each and every school year.
She wanted to decrease the review time to two weeks and hoped to make changes in the scheduling of the semesters, too.
A vehicle pulled into the parking space next to her. Startled, she glanced around to see Jeremy in the SUV.
He rolled down the window. “Checking out your new domain?”
She nodded, feeling a little shy because he’d read her so easily. “I wanted to see where the building was located and how the town was laid out.”
“Where’s your car?”
“I walked down from the hotel. I needed the exercise after spending all those hours in traffic yesterday.”
“Good thinking. I’m heading for the bridge site south of here, down toward Desolation Canyon. I saw you when I pulled out of the parking lot at the DOT building and wondered if you’d like to go along. The scenery is pretty nice.”
The educational offices were across the street from the courthouse. The squat building down from the courthouse was the one he pointed out as the DOT regional headquarters. She hadn’t realized it would be near her workplace.
“You probably don’t want to be trapped in a car again after your long trip yesterday,” Jeremy said when she failed to respond.
She turned to him. “Sorry, I was thinking about work. If you’re sure I won’t be in the way, I’d love a scenic tour of the area,” she said on an impulse she couldn’t quite explain.
“Hop in,” he invited with an engaging smile.
As they drove out of town, she had to chuckle at the dinosaur that welcomed visitors.
“Yeah,” Jeremy said. “It takes some getting used to.”
“Why pink?”
“Beats me.”
It was nice, she realized, to laugh with him, to have someone to be at ease with. Jeremy was the only person who knew all the ugly details of her secret past, so she didn’t have to be on guard with him every minute the way she was with her family and friends back in Idaho. In fact, she hadn’t really been free and easy with anyone in ages, perhaps not since she was nineteen.
That was the past, she reminded herself hastily. When she’d agreed to take the new position, she’d decided the move would be a starting point, a new day in her life. Regret and mistakes would be wiped out, and she’d start over with a clean slate.
Could that be done? Her emotional upheaval since the wedding had upset those grand schemes, and now she was unsure she’d done the correct thing.
Her gaze was drawn to her companion. What an irony that the one person who knew all the details of her foolish, betrayed heart should be here, reminding her of long-ago dreams and the confidence she’d once had in them.
“Look,” he said softly, pointing out the rugged view in front of the truck. “The Uinta Mountains of this area are unique in that they run east-west rather than north-south like most ranges. We also have eleven peaks over thirteen-thousand feet. King’s Peak, at 13,498, is the highest in the state.” He paused. “Am I boring you with the travelogue?”
“Not at all. I like knowing about the area where I live. Most people don’t realize there are canyons and cliffs up here that are as impressive as the Grand Canyon.”
“Yeah, Desolation Canyon of the Green River for one. It’s a prime rafting area.”
“Have you gone down it in a raft?”
“Several times. It’s fun.”
“If you like life-threatening adventure,” she murmured wryly.
His chuckle was low and husky. Intimate. It sent a funny sensation down her spine. Being with Jeremy, away from their common environment, put a different angle on their knowing each other, as if the past was too far away to count.
She frowned as an uneasy feeling disturbed her pleasure with the scenery. She wasn’t an adventurer, she decided. She liked life to be predictable and stable. She no longer considered living in a van and following the best surf to be the height of fun as she had as a four-year-old. She was no longer positive she knew everything worth knowing as she had been at nineteen.
Young and foolish? Yeah, been there, done that.
When he pulled off the road at a vista point, she got out of the SUV and stood on the lookout, wary and disturbed.
To the west rose the Badland cliffs. To the east was the gorge of the river. She and Jeremy stood on a mile-high plateau between the two. A breeze from the canyon caressed their faces, cooling the heat that enveloped her when he moved near.
“Look,” he said, speaking close to her ear, “I think there’s a bighorn on that bluff.”
She saw a white spot moving in the distance. The mountain sheep clambered up the steep incline and disappeared over the ridge.
“How do they manage such slopes?” she asked in awe.
“Suction cups for feet, I think.”
His breath touched her temple as he laughed. Instinctively she turned her face to his as amusement caught her unawares. She sucked in a quick, startled breath as she realized their lips were only inches apart. And that she wanted…
His eyes, which had some surprising green flecks near the pupil, locked on hers as if he could read that internal yearning. For a second that seemed an eternity, they stared at each other.
He stepped back. “We’d better move on. It’s a short distance to the site but very winding.”
They were mostly silent on the rest of the trip, other than her exclaiming over each new panoramic view, which seemed to occur with each bend in the road.
When they arrived at the construction camp, around thirty people were there, most of them operating huge machines that ate up big chucks of dirt and moved boulders as if they were toy building blocks. She was pleased to see a woman driving one of the behemoths and another, obviously in the last trimester of pregnancy, going into a trailer that had a sign declaring it to be the office.
Jeremy led the way to it. “Tina Ramsey, Zia Peters,” he introduced her to the pregnant woman. “Tina is the executive assistant of the site and keeps things on track around here. Zia is the new curriculum coordinator for the county education department. She arrived in town yesterday.”
“Glad to meet you,” the younger woman said. “Are you at the residential hotel? Everyone stays there when they arrive.”
“Yes. I rented a suite for a month while I’m looking for a place of my own,” Zia told the friendly younger woman.
“My cousin Jim is in real estate. You should check with him. Are you looking to rent or buy?”
“Rent for now. I would like a small house, if possible.”
Tina wrinkled her nose. “Those are hard to find. People tend to stay put.” Her laughter was infectious. “There was an article in the local paper about the county’s plans for the school system, if the federal funds come through. It mentioned you.”
Zia liked the vivacious young woman. She was friendly and very pretty with thick black hair that almost reached her waist, fair skin and intriguing gray eyes that flashed like quicksilver as she talked.
Tina turned her attention to her boss. “I have the lading bills for you to look over. Also, I need your signature for the overtime hours last week.”
Zia glanced out the trailer window at the busy compound while they conferred. Jeremy had just started his new position, yet the two seemed very comfortable with each other.
She wasn’t particularly comfortable with anyone at first meeting. For her, friendship had to grow slowly. Only time would tell if the person was trustworthy. Her attitude was a lot different from what it had been at one time, when she’d been prone to snap judgments.
Maybe part of turning over a new leaf was learning to trust others without so many of the reservations learned from the past.
“Come on,” Jeremy said. “I’ll show you around.”
Jeremy, like his uncle, was one of the most honorable people she’d ever met, she mused as she fell into step beside him. He would never walk out on anyone who needed him….
He took her arm and led the way outside, interrupting the unsettling introspection.
The gorge where the new road would cross was narrow and deep. Below them, the river rushed over rocks as big as cars. The land on either side was beautiful in a wild, natural way that didn’t invite habitation.
“This will be the foundation of a rainbow bridge,” Jeremy explained, pointing out the concrete piers.
“Rainbow?” That sounded too fanciful for a bridge.
“The roadbed will be built across the top of an arch made of steel beams and attached to piers on each side. It’s a fairly simple form of construction and very strong. The Chinese used the technique a couple of thousand years ago, only they built the whole bridge from logs lashed together and the arch also functioned as the road. Unfortunately none are standing now, we only have a few engravings to go by.”
By the time they’d finished the tour, including crossing to the other side and back on a rather precarious—in her opinion—footbridge, she’d learned a lot more about bridges than was strictly necessary in her view. She was aware of amusement in Jeremy’s eyes as he gave her the guided tour.
The footbridge was like a ladder laid across the gorge with flimsy ropes for railings. The workers could probably dash across as sure-footed as the bighorn they’d seen earlier.
Zia kept her eyes on where she put her feet, aware of the water ten stories below and of the gaps between the foot supports which looked wide enough to fall through.
“You handled that very well,” Jeremy commented when they had safely returned to the main camp. “Some people can’t take seeing the empty space below them. They freeze.”
“It wasn’t empty,” she muttered dryly. “There was a river moving at around sixty miles an hour a hundred feet below.”
That caused the workers who overheard them to laugh with far more enthusiasm than the remark deserved. Jeremy joined in.
She managed a weak smile and shook her head.
“It’s almost noon,” he said. “Ready for lunch?”
“Here?”
He nodded. “We have a mess tent.”
“I hope it’s on this side of the river.” She grinned as everyone again laughed and went with Jeremy to a metal-roofed building with canvas sides behind the office trailer. “Wow, air-conditioning.”
He explained the luxury to her. “It gets so hot in the summer, the workers need a break from the heat at times.”
The temperature was in the eighties now, but in July and August, the thermometer would climb into the mid-nineties on average during the day. At night, it could drop to around fifty, or even into the forties. Although usually dry during the summer, thunderstorms could bring flash floods. The high desert was not a place for careless people.
They went through a buffet line that offered several entrées of meat and vegetables, then sat at a long table where Tina and two women were already seated. Zia recognized one of them as the equipment operator she’d noticed when they first arrived. Jeremy introduced the three. “Paula and Marti, this is Zia.”
“How did you learn to handle that huge machine?” Zia asked Marti after they said hello.
“School,” Marti told her. “At heavy equipment schools, you learn to handle all kinds of machines. My dad had a road repair company, but he wouldn’t let me work for him. So I decided to show him women could handle dozers the same as men.”
“She’s one of the best,” Jeremy added. “She agreed to come here from the Salt Lake area after I showed her the article on the new education plans. In a way, you helped me hire her.”
“I have a boy and girl, sixth and fourth grades,” the woman continued the story. “I wasn’t sure the schools were as good here as in the city.”
“The curriculum planning is part of a new federal program being tried in several states. I’m excited about it,” Zia said.
She and Marti, who looked around forty, discussed the school situation in depth during most of the meal. Once when she glanced at Jeremy, he had a thoughtful smile on his handsome face as he observed them. She smiled back and returned to the conversation.
He, his assistant and the other woman, who kept up with expenses for the DOT, held their own discussion of site problems while they ate. Zia listened after the equipment operator left to go back to work.
Apparently cost was a big factor in Jeremy’s being moved from his former work site near Bryce Canyon to Uinta County. The bridge construction was way past schedule and over budget. He was to get things moving and under control.
Listening to him, she felt a totally unwarranted sense of pride at his masterful grasp of the situation. It was obvious the other two respected his decisions. She was glad things were working out so well for him in his new position.
Shortly after one, they were on the road again, heading north toward town. “Was that any fun for you at all?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. I enjoyed it a lot. The scenery was great, as promised, and the building site was very interesting. I feel like an expert on road construction now and will amaze my friends when I explain rainbow bridges to them.”
He laughed heartily at her claim, which pleased her.
As they passed the city limits sign, she became somber. She had enjoyed herself, perhaps too much. She couldn’t rely on Jeremy for companionship. It wouldn’t be fair. His time would be better spent finding the woman of his dreams.
Her mother had indicated she was worried about Jeremy and the fact that he’d never married. Caileen thought it was because of the unsettled life he’d lived during his youth. His father had died of a heart attack at a very young age, then his uncle—the middle Aquilon brother—rolled his truck one snowy night and died of exposure before being found. The problems with Family Services before being left in peace with his uncle Jeff had probably made him as cautious in love as her experience with Sammy had made her.
Besides, she didn’t think Jeremy liked her very much. She’d known, from the moment they’d first met, that he thought of her as a willful only child who’d given her mom grief for no good reason, not like Krista and Tony being beaten by a foster father or having a father drop dead like Jeremy. By contrast she’d had an easy life.
She’d just taken it hard, she admitted sardonically.
“You don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” he continued as they neared the hotel, his manner thoughtful.
She was astounded. “I’m not acting, Jeremy. I really did have a great time today. I liked the tour. It was interesting talking to your workers.” She paused. “I was tired last night, so I probably wasn’t very good company. I’m sorry if I disappointed you in some way.”
“I didn’t mean to give that impression. But, it occurs to me that you might have felt pressured to, uh, be friendly. I want you to know you don’t have to. We don’t have to see each other at all.”
She laid her head back on the seat and laughed softly. “We’re both fools,” she told him. “I thought you were being nice because you felt you had to take care of me. I can’t believe Mom called and asked you to check that I arrived safely. As if I were a ten-year-old off on my first trip alone. Honestly,” she ended in amused exasperation.
“Okay, I guess we understand each other then,” he said. “No more Mr. Nice Guy,” he added in the tough manner of an action-adventure hero.
“Right. We can check in on each other once in a while to keep the folks off our case, but otherwise we go our own ways.”
“Agreed.”
When he stopped at the hotel, she jumped down from the SUV before he could get out. “Thanks again for the tour. As soon as I find a place to live, I’ll invite you to dinner.”
He gave her a calculating glance. “A home-cooked meal would be nice, like the meat loaf your mom makes.”
“Can do,” she assured him. “I’ll get in touch when I’m settled. Okay?”
After he nodded, she closed the truck door and headed for her room. Standing on the porch, she watched him drive down the street. It made her feel good to be on solid footing with him, she realized. Maybe they could be friends.
Casual friends, she amended, going into her pleasant room. Occasional friends, the type you talk to whenever you run into each other on the street. Maybe they would have coffee once in a while, or lunch. Nothing that demanded a lot of fuss and bother, or that could be called a relationship.
Anything more would never work between them. The past would always be there, ready to spring up when least expected, reminding her of the reasons she didn’t want any connection to her misguided youth. He would probably prefer to avoid her, too.
However, when she’d danced with him at the wedding, she hadn’t been thinking of the past at all. Instead, her foolish heart had envisioned a future filled with all the good things that could exist between a couple who truly loved each other.
The intense longing returned. She wanted…she wanted something different from life. Maybe she would find it here.
She sighed as she settled into a chair and stared out the window at the sweeping vista of mountains. She would keep her word and invite Jeremy to dinner when she found a home, then…then her obligation to him would be done.
Chapter Three
Zia shook hands with the real estate agent. “Thanks for your help. If I see anything that looks interesting this weekend, I’ll call you on Monday.”
“Same here,” Jim Ramsey said.
She had contacted Tina Ramsey’s cousin on Monday. Jim was around her age, about two inches shorter and heavyset. He was outgoing and cheerful, also enthusiastic about her finding a place to live.
But after searching all week—today was Friday—the prospects didn’t look great, in her opinion.
“There are places coming on the market all the time,” he assured her in a hearty manner. “If you want to buy, I know of several cottages for sale, a couple of them in town or close in, more in the country.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Sure you don’t want a ride to the hotel?”
She shook her head. “I’ll walk. I like the exercise.”
She strolled down the street, leaving him in front of the real estate office, which was two blocks from the educational building. One thing about a small town—one was never far from anywhere in it.
When she passed the DOT facility, she quickly scanned the parking lot. She spotted Jeremy’s SUV near the side entrance.
“Hey,” he called to her, coming out the door at that moment.
His appearance startled her as it had last Friday when she’d arrived in town, as if an apparition had suddenly materialized.
“Jeremy, hello,” she said, breathless for no reason…no reason at all. He was dressed in dark slacks and a white shirt with a tie. A suit jacket was slung over his shoulder. With his summer Stetson, he looked, she thought, like a rugged Western hero on a photo shoot for some classy magazine.
He came over to the sidewalk. “How’s it going?”
“If you’re talking about the house search, it isn’t.” She managed a smile so he wouldn’t think she was whining.
“What’s the problem?”
“I’m not sure,” she said ruefully, “but I think my finances don’t match my tastes.”
When he laughed, his teeth were incredibly white against the tawny shades of his skin. He had a killer smile. It highlighted his whole face, forcing her to realize anew his natural good looks and masculine grace, both of which were reasons why her friends had always wanted to get acquainted with him.
“Have you had lunch?” he asked. “I’m going now and would be glad to have company.”
She hesitated, then nodded. “I just got back from house hunting with Jim Ramsey.”
“Tina’s cousin? I seem to recall her mentioning him.”
“She did. He seems to know the area really well. We’ve been over on the east side of town, out in the county, actually.”
“My place is out that way, too.” Jeremy took her arm and guided her down the street. He pointed out two restaurants. “Mexican or the soup and sandwich place?”
“Mexican,” she decided. “I ate at the sandwich place yesterday. The food was delicious. The owner there was the one who told me to check out the cottages east of town. She said people were selling their vacation homes or renting them since prices had started falling.”
After they were inside the restaurant and sipping from tall, frosty glasses of iced tea, they quickly made their selections and ordered.
“I like a woman who can make up her mind,” he said when they were alone again.
She had to smile at his rueful tone. “Is that something you’ve had a problem with in the past?”
“Just once. When I was stationed in Salt Lake City for six months, I dated a woman who managed a gift shop. I don’t know how she ever ordered merchandise because it took her a week to decide what she wanted for dinner.”
“Mmm, you must have had very long dates.”
He gave her a wry grimace. “Okay, maybe it only took her thirty minutes, but it seemed like a week.”
Their salads arrived, and they ate in silence for a few minutes. Zia tried to think of something to say, but her mind stayed stubbornly on the woman who had lost out on a relationship with him. “I assume you didn’t ask her out again?”
“Actually I did, but it was the same the second time. When she invited me to a cookout with friends, I had to decline because I’d been transferred to the Bryce Canyon project.”
“You were glad,” Zia said in slightly accusatory tones.
“I was. The move made it easier to break it off.”
She eyed him thoughtfully. “I think men still have the advantage in dating, especially if you made the first contact. You can simply not call again.”
“What if she calls you?”
“Screen your calls and let the answering machine pick up if you don’t want to talk.”
“And don’t call back?”
“Right. That’s what my friends do with a guy they don’t want to see again. Wouldn’t the same tactic work for men?”
“I suppose.”
“What?” she said when he frowned.
“It doesn’t seem quite fair to leave someone dangling.”
“So what do you do if you haven’t been transferred to a new location and you don’t want to see someone again?” she asked, then was annoyed at herself for the blatant curiosity about him and his dating life.
“I tell them that work is going to keep me busy for several weeks. Which is mostly true,” he added. “And I’m out of town at the construction sites a lot, too.”
“I have a friend who studied ethics. She said the truth told in an untruthful way is still a lie.” Zia grinned as she waited to see what he would say to that.
“What about you?” he asked, giving her a narrow-eyed scrutiny and ignoring her gibe. “What do you do to fend off unwanted men? You must get calls by the score.”
“Hardly. I don’t usually accept dates unless I’ve known the man for a while.” When he raised his eyebrows at this, she continued, “I like to get to know people and see how they respond in social situations before being alone with them. It makes things easier, don’t you think?”
“Yes,” he said softly, “I do.”
Something in his eyes made her wonder if she’d said too much. Being cautious was probably not the way he thought of her. She’d once acted rashly, impulsively and the consequences be damned.
“Well, back to the housing market,” she said brightly. “Do you have any advice? Should I think about buying?”
“How do you feel about your job?” he asked.
She was surprised. “Well, I don’t really know. I talked to the superintendent of schools on Monday, looked my office over on Tuesday and met the department secretary on Wednesday. She looks as if she moved in when the facility was built. I have no idea if I’ll last longer than my three-year contract.”
“You got a contract?”
“Yes. It’s an administrative position. Instead of tenure, we agree on a specified time to put my ideas into action and see results.” She shrugged. “If things don’t turn around as fast as the school board thinks it should, they have to buy out the contract to get rid of me.”
“Mmm, maybe you’d better wait before buying a house, at least until you have a few months under your belt.”
“That’s what I thought, too.” She sighed. “Finding a small house to rent is more difficult than I thought it would be.”
“That’s why I bought a place. I thought I’d be here for at least ten years, but then we ran into problems in the southwest region again. I’ve used a lot of vacation time to work on the cabin, though. It’s coming along. I’ll get a lot more done now that I’m stationed here.”
“How long do you think you’ll be in this district?”
“I plan to retire here.” His charming grin popped up. “Unless they want to put me in charge of the whole DOT. I don’t see that happening.”
“Why not?”
“There’s too much politics going on at the state level. I’d tell some big shot where to get off and probably be out the door in record time.”
“I’ve always found you to be very tactful,” she assured him.
He was silent for a minute, then his eyes met hers. “With some people, it’s easier to be gentle than with others.”
Gentle.
The word lingered in Zia’s mind at the grocery where she bought fruit, bread and peanut butter and at the Laundromat where she washed and dried the clothing she’d worn that week.
Later, as evening painted the sky in soft hues, she sat on the side porch of the hotel and ate a solitary meal, the word echoing in her head like thunder reverberating off distant mountain peaks, plangent and haunting.
Jeremy was referring to women, she decided. Actually he was gentle with all who were smaller, weaker than himself. Look how wonderful he’d been with his stepcousins, rescuing Tony and Krista from that horrible foster father when they were children. Both had grown up to be fine, decent citizens, thanks to his influence as well as his uncle’s.
Whoever caught his heart would be loved and cherished forever. A lucky woman.
She tried to put the luncheon conversation out of mind, but words and phrases kept popping up like new bits of scenery with each curve in a winding road.
She suddenly wished Jeremy was with her. She wanted to ask him about…about life and love and what it all meant…
“Miss Peters?”
She jerked at the sound of her name. A young man stood at the corner of the porch. The night clerk, she realized.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“You have a call. Shall I transfer it to your room phone?”
“Yes, please. Thank you,” she added, hurrying inside.
A second later, the phone rang. She sat on the bed and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Zia?”
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“Heather. I tried to get you on your cell phone but couldn’t get an answer.”
“It’s on the charger,” Zia explained, her mind racing.
Heather. Her mother’s longtime friend. There was only one reason she would be calling.
“What’s happened?” Zia asked, steeling herself for bad news.
“Your mother is ill. An infection of some kind. The ambulance is taking her to the hospital in Boise. Jeff is with her. He asked me to call.”
“An infection?” Zia questioned. “Where?”
“It’s in her gall bladder and liver. Apparently it caused the bile duct to close and destroy most of her liver before they realized what the problem was.”
Zia tried to take in the information, but a sense of panic was setting in fast. “What are they going to do at the Boise hospital?” The city was an hour away, and there was a small county hospital in their hometown.
Heather hesitated before saying, “Stop the infection, first of all. There’s internal bleeding. They’ll have to take care of that, too. The liver damage is pretty serious. I, uh, I think you’d better consider coming home.”
Zia had already determined that. “I’ll be there by morning,” she said. “Have you called anyone else?”
“No, you’re the first one who came to mind. Do you want me to call your dad?”
“I—I don’t know. No. I’ll call him tomorrow…when we know more.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “Jeremy. I can contact him. We need to call Tony and Julianne. Krista and Lance are still on their honeymoon. They’re someplace in Europe. Let’s wait on them.”
“Right. Jeff gave me Caileen’s address book. That’s where I got your cell number. When I didn’t get an answer, I remembered you were staying at the hotel. Caileen had mentioned the name at lunch the other day.”
Heather, a paralegal from juvenile court, and her mother had been having lunch once a week for as long as Zia could remember.
“When I called the hotel, the clerk said he’d seen you outside when he came on duty,” Heather finished.
“Thank God,” Zia murmured. “I’ll call Jeremy and start packing. Is there anything else I need to do?”
“Not that I can think of. I’ll call your cell number if anything changes. Jeff asked if I could be the message hub in case you guys have trouble getting through at the hospital.”
“Thanks, Heather. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“Drive carefully. We don’t need you in an accident.”
“Yes, I’ll be careful.”
After hanging up, Zia clicked on Jeremy’s number, but either his cell phone was off or he was out of range. She left a voice mail for him to call her right away. Then she grabbed her largest case and tossed the contents of the bureau into it, mostly jeans, T-shirts and underwear. Since her overnight case held her makeup and toiletries, she closed it and set it next to the larger piece.
In less than fifteen minutes, with jacket and purse in hand, she was ready to go. Dusk had deepened to twilight as she tried Jeremy again.
Still no answer.
After putting her luggage in her car, she went to the hotel desk and explained to the night clerk about the family emergency and left her cell number with him in case anyone needed to get in touch.
“You’re keeping your room?” he asked.
“Yes. I still have some things in it.”
“Very good. Be careful on the road. People drive too fast since there’s not much traffic.”
“Thanks, I will.”
After trying Jeremy once more, she located his address on the county map and headed out. It didn’t occur to her until she was well on her way that he might not consider it necessary to go to Idaho. He might prefer to wait until they knew the situation.
Whatever his decision, she was definitely going home.
She found his mailbox on the county road, the numbers reflecting in her headlights so they were easy to read. She turned onto the gravel drive.
In a couple of minutes she came upon the house tucked into a clearing among the pines and cedars. It wasn’t the rustic cabin she’d expected. Instead it looked more like a small, elegant lodge with stones in desert hues of ocher and terra-cotta covering the bottom half and a very soft terra-cotta stucco on the upper part. A window in the gable indicated an attic room under the eaves.
His SUV was under the attached carport, and a light was on inside. Relieved, she parked and hurried to the door.
The oak door was open, but a screen door kept out intruders. Hearing footsteps, she leaned close and peered in.
“Jeremy?” she called upon spotting movement in the dim hall.
The figure paused. “Zia?”
“Yes.” Without waiting for an invitation, she opened the screen door and went inside. “I’m so glad you’re home—”
That’s when it hit her that he’d just come out of the shower. In the soft light of the living room lamp, she caught only an impression of a muscular male body before he disappeared.
She went totally still for a second. “I’m sorry,” she called out, impatient with the unexpected rise in temperature and heartbeat his naked presence engendered. This was no time for niceties. “I didn’t mean to barge in, but there’s an emergency.”
He stepped back into view, a towel secured around his lean hips. “What kind of emergency?”
“My mother is very ill. Jeff is taking her to Boise in an ambulance.”
“What’s wrong?”
She told him what she knew.
He nodded, then brushed the lock of damp hair off his forehead. “That sounds serious,” he said, taking a couple of steps into the room.
“I’m on my way to the hospital. I thought, if you wanted to go, we could travel together. Mom…” Her throat closed up.
“Are you packed and ready?”
She nodded.
“Give me ten minutes.”
He disappeared into another room farther down the hall. She sank into a deep leather chair that faced the hearth. Her heart steadied. She exhaled a somewhat shaky breath and gazed around the room. The walls had a plaster finish, Tuscan-style, with pale golden paint glazed with sienna. It was very attractive.
The kitchen was small and tucked into an alcove behind the right-hand side of the great room. The cabinets were cedar, the appliances new and modern. An island with a cooktop separated it from the living area, which spanned the width of the house. The sofa was rich, brown leather that matched the chair she sat in. Another chair, also a recliner, was smaller and upholstered in a deep terra-cotta and tan chenille.
A long hassock with a tray on it served as a coffee table. Attractive floor lamps anchored each end of the sofa. A low chest of drawers with two buffet lamps nestled under a side window that framed a view of woods and a creek.
A round table of oak with six chairs and a breakfront cabinet occupied the other end of the broad living space.
She wondered who had picked out the furnishings. A woman, she concluded. She couldn’t imagine Jeremy giving much thought to interior design.
He returned to the living room and tossed a duffel bag on the floor near the door. A shaving kit landed beside it.
“I need a few more minutes,” he said, going into the kitchen.
Opening a cedar-lined door, which proved to be the refrigerator, he removed several items. He poured the milk down the drain, ran some leftovers through the disposal and tossed salad greens far out the side door.
“There, that should do it,” he said with another glance around the neat space.
“Your home is very nice,” she said, rising.
He smiled, but it didn’t erase the worried look in his eyes. “Someday I’ll show you the pictures I took before I started the remodel. The place didn’t have a lot going for it.”
“Did you pick out the furniture?”
“Yeah, but Krista advised me on colors and all that. I sent her pictures by phone and she okayed the sofa and chairs. The couple who own the furniture store did the layout and talked me into that chest. I think they called it a credenza.”
“The hassock and tray are very up-to-date.”
“It’s also great to prop your feet on when the guys are over for beer and pizza night.”
She managed a laugh.
He came around the island and laid a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be okay. Caileen is tough. She’ll make it.”
She nodded, unable to speak for a second. “Are you ready?”
“Yes. I’ll call a couple of my supervisors when we get to town and put them in charge until I get back.”
“We probably won’t be gone long.” The words sounded false even to her ears.
“Let’s hit the road.” He waited for her to exit, then turned out the lights and locked up. “We’ll use the SUV.”
She didn’t argue, but went to her car and got her luggage while he stored his in the back of his vehicle. He added her two cases when she brought them over.
“Do you want to leave your car here or in town?”
“Is it okay here?”
He nodded. “I’ve never had any trouble.”
“I’ll leave it.”
After ushering her into the passenger seat, he belted himself in and they left on a journey that would take them most of the night. “Maybe we won’t have any road delays at night,” she said as he turned onto the paved county road.
“Yeah, that’ll be a real plus.”
In town, he stopped by the DOT office and called those who needed to know where he was going while she waited in the SUV. When he returned, he had a large insulated container of coffee and two plastic cups, plus two cans of soda. He placed a small wire basket of snacks—peanuts, crackers, chips, two apples—on the center console.
“This should get us through until breakfast,” he told her, heading west on the highway out of town.
“It took me several hours to make the trip home for Krista’s wedding,” she murmured, gazing past the sweep of the headlights into the countryside when they were west of town.
Glancing at his profile, she recalled how handsome, how…how cosmopolitan he’d seemed at the wedding. She’d thought of Jeremy as an earthy sort—well, being a civil engineer, that seemed natural—but she’d discovered another side to him, one that was urbane and at ease in the most elegant surroundings.
Pulling her gaze back to the countryside, she frowned at the sudden pang that went through her, a piercing moment of longing for something that was missing in her life, that had always been just beyond her grasp. She couldn’t say what it was.
The moon limned the pavement into a ghostly ribbon. She saw no lights ahead to indicate oncoming traffic. They could have been the only creatures in the world. It was an eerie sensation.
Jeremy set the cruise control, popped the top on one of the cans and took a long drink, then placed it in a cup holder. “I haven’t had dinner,” he said as he tore open a bag of chips with his teeth.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’d eaten earlier. I didn’t think about your missing dinner,” she finished.
“That’s okay. I’d just gotten in from the bridge site shortly before you arrived. I decided I needed a bath more than food at the moment.”
“Are you having problems with the construction?”
“Yes. There’s soft rock layered in with the hard stuff. We have to have a solid base for the piers.”
“So what will you do?”
“Drill pilings through the soft rock. It’ll cost more and delay the construction. Again.”
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Laurie Paige
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: SOMETIMES MR. RIGHT IS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSEZia Peters has had enough upheaval for three lifetimes. Now all she wants is a chance to get back on track–without the distraction of a man in her life. Still, when old friend Jeremy Aquilon offers his spare bedroom and a temporary job, she jumps at the chance. After all, Jeremy has seen her at her worst, and vice versa–no danger of romance there!Except Jeremy is hardly the boy she remembers. In fact, he might be the most handsome man she′ s ever met, and her whole body knows it.Can she convince him that she′ s changed? And more important, can she convince herself?Canyon CountyEveryone deserves a second chance…to find love