The Wife He Chose
The Wife He Chose
Susan Fox
Cade Chalmers knew he was playing with fire by attempting to live under the same roof as Colleen. But he was desperate: Cade needed to share custody of his orphaned niece and nephew with her. The trouble was, each time he was alone with Colleen for even a minute, they clashed…It wasn't just antagonism–it was explosive attraction. Cade decided he simply had to bite the bullet–the best thing for the children would be for him and Colleen to marry. It was a purely common-sense proposal, but the result was fireworks!
“I think I’m about to shock you, Colleen.”
When he continued, his voice was low and rough, almost a rasp. “I planned never to marry. I don’t believe in love, not the hearts and flowers kind. But I changed my mind about marriage today. The kids need stability. You love them like I do….”
Colleen sensed what was coming then, but couldn’t believe it. Cade was right, he was shocking her.
“I think we should marry, Colleen.”
Her heart gave a huge leap. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. This had to be a dream. They barely knew each other—how could they possibly consider marriage?
What kind of man makes the perfect husband?
A man with a big heart and strong arms—someone tough
but tender, powerful yet passionate….
And where can such a man be found?
Marriages made on the ranch…
Susan Fox lives with her youngest son, Patrick, in Des Moines, Iowa, U.S.A. A lifelong fan of Westerns and cowboys, she tends to think of romantic heroes in terms of Stetsons and boots! In what spare time she has, Susan is an unabashed couch potato and movie fan. She particularly enjoys romantic movies and also reads a variety of romance novels—with guaranteed happy endings—and plans to write many more of her own.
The Wife He Chose
Susan Fox
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE (#u16263f61-0e1a-5074-9008-f25d219da47b)
CHAPTER TWO (#uc047155d-e5b5-5f95-935f-19c30e1393d4)
CHAPTER THREE (#udc90ef9b-d7ef-5adb-8502-a29d0cb10ab1)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
IT HAD taken months to recover from the terrible car crash that had killed her sister. And yet, fully recovering from either her sister’s death or her own injuries might never be possible.
Even now, as Colleen James drove down the Texas highway, she suffered the constant ache and weariness of a body that had been broken and traumatized, that was still far from healed after multiple surgeries and months of therapy.
The wreck was also responsible for the frequent headaches she got when she was overtired. She was still weak on her right side, and when she was tired or upset, she was even more unsteady on her feet. The feminine grace and ease of movement she’d taken for granted before the crash were now no more than a golden memory. Her awkwardness embarrassed her. The slim, black cane she hated to use was a necessity and might yet be for weeks or months more.
But the emotional injuries were the most formidable. She couldn’t seem to shake the depression that clung to her and made her days gray and trying. The terror of driving a car, or even riding as a passenger in one, had been debilitating. Only after days of determined practice with a rental car had she overcome her fear of driving enough to make the two-hour trip from San Antonio to the Chalmers Ranch.
Because it was imperative that she speak to Cade Chalmers. She’d sent a handful of letters to him, including flowers and condolences for the recent death of his brother, Craig. This past week, she’d phoned him three times, including the call this morning just before she’d left San Antonio. He hadn’t responded to any of her letters and he’d never returned her calls.
She’d decided a try at a face-to-face meeting with him was preferable to contacting him through a lawyer, which he might resent, but time was running out.
Her late sister’s three-year-old son and infant daughter—had now also lost their father. Craig Chalmers had drowned accidentally a month ago, and permanent custody of the children should soon be decided by a judge. The fact that their Uncle Cade currently had custody of them made it imperative that she speak to him.
Colleen was certain he’d given no thought to her regarding visitation, or that he’d even considered granting her access to her late sister’s children. That’s why she’d made the difficult trip, to both remind Cade Chalmers that she existed and to demonstrate to him the level of concern she felt about his apparent indifference to preserving the children’s tie to her.
She couldn’t successfully petition the courts for the privilege of raising them herself because of her limitations, but she wanted to have some part in their lives.
Cade’s late brother, Craig, had also been indifferent to her, and he’d blamed her for the fact that she’d enabled Sharon’s trial separation from him by allowing her and the children to live with her while they decided whether or not to divorce. His refusal to respond to her letters or calls after Sharon’s death was proof of that.
And Colleen had been the one who’d been driving when Sharon was killed. Thank God the children had been safely at home in her apartment with a sitter. There’d been no way to avoid or escape the semi-trailer truck that had all but run over their car in a busy San Antonio intersection. The setting sun had blinded the truck driver to their car until it was too late. His frantic effort to stop the turning vehicle had been hindered by the powerful momentum of the loaded trailer.
Though she remembered nothing of the wreck or that last day with Sharon, she’d later seen the newspaper reports of it that had been saved for her, and the traffic reports, along with the trucker’s and witness’s statements. The terror she had now was the result of the horrifying nightmares that resulted.
A fresh sheen of perspiration sent a chill over her skin and her palms were suddenly slick on the steering wheel. The two-lane highway in front of her seemed too narrow to safely navigate, and every time she saw a semi hurtling in her direction in the oncoming lane, she felt a jolt of fear. The nausea was overwhelming.
If the turnoff to the ranch hadn’t finally come into sight, she might have had to find another place to pull off the highway. What should have been a two-hour trip to the ranch had lengthened to more than four because of the occasional stops she’d had to make to calm herself. There’d been times that day when only her desire to see her niece and nephew again had made her go on.
Once she turned off onto the ranch road, she brought the car to a halt and tried to recover. A headache thumped at her brain, and it seemed to take forever before the nausea calmed. Her hands still trembled and she had a cautious drink of bottled water to soothe her dry mouth.
Finally settled enough to drive on, Colleen started down the ranch road. The car’s slower speed on the gravel and the absence of traffic helped put her at ease. Over the last long, slow rise of road, the main house came into view.
The Chalmers Ranch headquarters was impressive, even against the rugged backdrop of massive rangeland. The fact that the Chalmers measured their vast land acres by the tens of thousands was still an overwhelming notion to someone who’d been born and raised in the city.
The main house held its own among the barns and buildings and the network of corrals that spread out behind it. The house was a huge, single-story adobe built in a C that faced away from the road and boasted a red tile roof and a deep front veranda with adobe arches. The shade beneath the veranda roof promised a cool haven from the heat of a Texas afternoon.
By the time Colleen pulled her rented car to a halt near the end of the front walk, she was trembling with nerves. Fortunately, the place looked deserted, which gave her time to blot the perspiration from her face and shore up her courage.
She doubted she’d ever have enough courage to face Cade Chalmers calmly and confidently. Her sister had been intimidated by him, though she’d also confided to Colleen that he’d been gentle and very good to the children. He’d never shown Sharon much warmth or approval, which had made it difficult for Sharon to feel comfortable with him.
Colleen’s own memory was of a big, rugged man almost too gruff and terse to approach. In the few times she’d met him, he’d been distant and polite, but his manner suggested he judged people harshly.
He’d made it obvious that he found her uninteresting and inconsequential, perhaps no one he’d even notice if she hadn’t been the sister of his brother’s wife.
Colleen was hardly the beauty her sister had been and now, with her dark hair a scant two inches long if that, she felt even less attractive than before the crash. She’d lost so much weight that she looked like a plain, effeminate boy. Men had rarely found her attractive and now they virtually ignored her except to stare at her cane and observe her awkward manner with a mix of curiosity and veiled pity.
All of that underscored the notion that little Beau and baby Amy were the only family she’d ever have. And though she’d loved both of them fiercely from birth, the circumstances of her bleak future made it imperative to be allowed access to them and permitted the joy and happy responsibility of being their aunt. She was the only closely related member from the James family that the two children had. Surely Cade Chalmers would see the importance of that.
Cade Chalmers was on his way to the kitchen from his office in the east wing, when he heard the car pull up out front. He walked to the entry hall to see who it was, but he didn’t recognize the thin, frail woman who stepped out and started toward the door. The black cane got his immediate attention and memory kicked in.
Colleen James walked stiffly, her every movement giving as much an impression of self-consciousness as of wary care. She used the support of the cane as if she needed it. So much so that he wondered why she was not on crutches.
Colleen was one person he didn’t care to see or have anything to do with. She’d let herself get too involved in the petty marital dispute that had resulted in the death of her sister and finally his brother, leaving a three-year-old and an infant orphaned. If she’d refused to let herself get drawn into it all, things might have been quickly resolved. It was his belief that flighty, irresponsible Sharon might have settled down easier to her family responsibilities if Colleen hadn’t been around to rescue her whenever she couldn’t get her way.
Sharon had been the kind of mercenary female he’d been pushing away all his adult life. His brother had fallen for her then let himself be dragged around like a lovesick fool. Sharon had paid him back by making his life hell.
And that hell had been the litmus test of Craig’s level of addiction to his beautiful, manipulative wife. Then she’d had the bad luck to die.
Following the accident, Cade had had a distraught brother to deal with, a bewildered toddler and a helpless infant on his hands. Colleen had been in a coma for weeks so the arrangements for her sister’s funeral had also fallen to him.
Craig had learned later that Colleen wanted no part of him or the kids, so Cade had rapidly put her out of his mind. He’d had enough to handle with the kids and the ranch and his younger brother’s descent into a bottle. Craig hadn’t been able to face life sober without his flighty wife.
But both of them were gone now. Gone and oblivious to the pain and hardship they’d left behind for their kids.
Why Colleen James suddenly decided to show up here was no more than a minor mystery for him. One that would surely take little time to uncover and was sure to amount to nothing of real consequence. Maybe she needed money. If she did, she was out of luck. James women had gotten their last dollar from Chalmers men.
He opened the door just as Colleen stepped into the shade of the veranda. The surprise of his appearance seemed to startle her and she faltered. But then the surprise was his as he saw her up close.
Her skin was pale, nearly translucent, and there were feathery lines of strain around her mouth. Weariness made her eyelids droop slightly, but the look in the clear blue of her eyes was almost spiritless.
She had been willowy before, but now she was thin and about as insubstantial as a strip of gauze. A light breeze would topple her and he was inclined to go easy on her.
His gaze flicked to the car behind her and he revised his impression. She was well enough to drive herself from San Antonio, so she was probably stronger than she looked.
Her sister had tried everyone’s patience with a list of minor infirmities that ran the gamut from headaches to frazzled nerves. She’d had a way of avoiding the daily care of her kids that had seemed selfish to him. And though hiring nannies and sitters had been a solution the Chalmers’ could easily afford and had, Sharon’s penchant for firing them or running them off with demands to lavish her with as much care and attention as they gave the kids, made the search for replacements a constant bother.
But as he stared at the changes in Colleen James, he felt guilty for the harsh comparison. He knew her injuries had been severe and it was obvious she was nowhere near a full recovery. And the frailty he saw would be impossible to fake. Curious now, he studied her more intently.
Her sable hair was too damned short. Short enough that it tried to stick out all over her head, but she’d smoothed it down with some kind of hair goo. Her eyes, a near robin’s egg color, were large and fringed with dark lashes. Her nose was fine and slim and her lips were only slightly full, though they looked tender and vulnerable to him—too tender and vulnerable to have had much kissing.
If she ever put on weight, her small body would be more feminine. The image the thought put in his mind startled him and caused a strong stir of attraction in spite of the frail boyish look she had now.
His gruff, “Miz James,” was formal and terse.
Her quiet, “Mr. Chalmers,” was equally formal, but he’d seen the quiver of anxiety that showed in her eyes. “May I come in?”
The question acknowledged his rudeness in staring at her, rather than immediately inviting her in. But it was also an acknowledgment of his right to deny her access to his home. Sharon wouldn’t have asked. She’d have helped herself and walked in. Or gone teary if she even imagined resistance.
Cade stepped aside to let her pass, then walked through the entry hall at her slow pace. He ushered her into the living room and as she chose a place to sit at the end of the sofa, he called his housekeeper. Esmerelda appeared at once.
“¿Sí?”
“Could you bring in a tray?”
“Coffee?”
Cade glanced at Colleen.
“Just water would be fine, thank you.”
His brisk, “And coffee for me, Esmerelda,” sent the housekeeper back to the kitchen. Cade took a seat in the big armchair that faced the sofa and watched coolly as Colleen set her cane aside.
“Thank you for seeing me. I was sorry to hear about Craig. It was a shock.”
Cade felt a nettle of anger. There’d been no acknowledgment from her of his brother’s death until this moment. It was almost as if she’d decided she needed to express her condolences now only because she wanted something from him. And he could tell when females wanted something from him. He could always tell.
She went on and he felt his irritation rise. “I realize the flowers and the card were too late for the funeral, but I didn’t find out until I read it in the papers.”
He caught the faint chastisement for not informing her himself, but she wasn’t pitiful enough to let her off the hook for lying about flowers and condolences.
“There were no flowers or card, Miz James,” he said bluntly. “Why are you here?”
Colleen felt the sting of his rebuke, but she was shocked that the flowers and card had not been delivered.
“There must be some mistake. Whatever had happened these past months, Craig was my brother-inlaw. I couldn’t make it to the funeral, but I did send flowers and a card. I wouldn’t have let something that serious go by unacknowledged, even if it was belated.”
Her explanation did nothing but harden his rugged expression, and he’d never seemed more intimidating. His big body was wide-shouldered, narrow-hipped, and corded with heavy muscles that made him rock-solid and gave an impression of physical power that no one but a bodybuilder would dare to challenge.
But it was his face that held her attention, and always had. Rugged and no-nonsense, he had dark brows over deep-set eyes the color of aged bourbon. His cheekbones were high and prominent enough to suggest at least a trace of Native American ancestry. His nose was sharply bladed and gave the same impression of ancestry, but his mouth was a carved line that could go straight and hard with temper or—rarely—curve into a line that lit his face and made him seem years younger and surprisingly handsome.
Because Cade Chalmers was not handsome, not really. But he was impressive and his harsh, rugged looks were as charismatic as a movie star’s. It had always been a struggle not to stare at him, but he’d never caught her at it because she’d been virtually invisible to him. A lackluster, unremarkable female firmly in the shade of her beautiful, outgoing younger sister.
She stared at him now, though, almost more than she cared to, because he’d become impatient with her. And he was angry because he thought she’d lied to him.
“Why are you here?” The terse question closed the subject of the flowers and the card. He’d heard her explanation and judged her a liar. Distressed, she rallied to correct the judgment.
“I’m sure the florist kept a record of the order. It was a local shop. Josie’s Flowers, I think. And I used my Visa card.”
Cade’s dark brows lowered. He’d made up his mind and it was clear that he didn’t want to be confused by the facts. Colleen felt her dismay deepen. This was a terrible start.
“Is that why you didn’t answer my letters or return my calls,” she asked cautiously, “because I’d hurt your feelings?”
Because I’d hurt your feelings?
Colleen felt a jolt of horror. She’d not intended to put it that way! As if someone like her could ever be important enough to Cade Chalmers—or that anyone could—to hurt his feelings was preposterous.
Offend or insult him, yes; hurt his feelings, no. Men like Cade Chalmers were too macho to own up to feminine notions like hurt feelings. In this case, he’d probably been angered by what he’d consider an intentional snub. She should have worded it that way, but one of her problems after the crash was that she sometimes spoke imprecisely.
To her surprise, the hard slash of his stern mouth relaxed into the suggestion of a smile. His low-voiced, “What letters?” was not harsh at all then, as if his amusement over the hurt feelings remark had softened him.
Encouraged and distracted from correcting her remark, she answered. “Besides the flowers, I sent you three letters asking about the children and a condolence card, and I called here this week and left phone messages three times. One of those times was this morning.”
She hesitated, not certain it was possible that he couldn’t have seen or heard about the letters or the calls. Had he truly not received them? Or was he lying? If he was, then his earlier challenge to her honesty gave her grave concerns about his character, and she was suddenly worried about him raising Amy and Beau.
“Mr. Chalmers, I have tried to contact you,” she said earnestly. “I know I had the address right and I know I dialed the right number. You should know I have, and I think you probably do.”
Now the faint amusement on his face vanished and his features went harsh again at her quiet conclusion. She was shaking now and she felt tiny dots of perspiration break out on her skin. Nevertheless, she dared a softly spoken, “I can’t imagine why you’d…pretend.”
Unable to bear the sharp look he gave her then, she glanced anxiously away and felt painful heat in her cheeks. Why would he lie to her like this? Obviously he didn’t respect her enough or hold her in high enough regard to tell her the truth. The lack of personal integrity that implied increased her worry about the kind of guardian he would make.
Any realistic hope she’d had that he’d allow her to be a part of the children’s lives died. And probably had long before the moment she’d questioned his word. Now she’d have to find a lawyer and see what the courts might grant her. And that would probably be nothing.
Before either of them could say more, Esmerelda came in with a tray. Once she set it on the stout wooden coffee table between them, she handed Colleen a heavy crystal glass of ice water. Colleen took it with a faint smile and a word of thanks.
Her hands shook, and the weight of the crystal and the condensation on the outside of the glass made it difficult for her to hold. Esmerelda left the room and once Colleen had taken a tense sip, she leaned forward to put the glass back on the tray, prepared to pursue Cade for an explanation. Though she was wary of him and more than a little terrified, she had to think about little Beau and Amy and their best interests. Nothing was more important than that.
But to her horror, the glass slipped from her weakened grip and dropped to the floor with a sharp crack. Water flew everywhere and the sudden disaster shamed her. Awkwardly, she slid forward on the sofa to reach for the neatly folded linen napkin on the tray. She didn’t realize the napkin was anchored by the saucer of the coffee cup until she yanked on it and managed to spill the brim-full cup that rested on its corner.
Mortification and the frantic need to blot up the mess she’d made on the floor made her lose her balance on the edge of the sofa and go down painfully on her left knee in the spilled water and ice cubes. The glass hadn’t broken, but her knee grazed it and sent it spinning under the coffee table.
Cade was at her side almost before she could register the series of minor disasters. He lifted her and set her out of the way on the sofa. He took the napkin and calmly blotted water off the carpet with one hand while he got the glass with the other and swiftly replaced the spilled ice cubes before he set it back on the tray. At least the rolled edges of the tray had kept the coffee spill confined.
Colleen’s horrified, “I’m so sorry,” was as much as she was capable of. Even if she hadn’t already alienated Cade and spoiled her chances to be allowed contact with the children, the clumsy weakness she’d hoped to conceal from him had now been starkly demonstrated. Her obvious physical difficulties would make her a poor choice for unsupervised visits with a toddler and an infant, and Cade Chalmers would have no patience with the added inconvenience her involvement would cause him. If there’d ever truly been a realistic hope of her involvement.
Evidently, Esmerelda heard the commotion and came rushing back into the room.
“I’m so sorry for this,” Colleen repeated to her.
Esmerelda waved it away with a gracious smile, as if the embarrassing disaster was too minor to take note of. “Water on the carpet is not a problem.” She started forward to pick up the tray as Cade moved aside.
He addressed Esmerelda before she could. “Do you remember any letters Miz James might have sent?”
Esmerelda seemed to think the question was odd, but she nodded. “Sí. I have seen her name on some and also the fine flowers she sent. I put them on your desk like always and the flowers on this table. Do you not recall?”
Cade’s face was like weathered rock. “Thanks, Esmerelda. I’d appreciate a new tray when you get this one out of the way.”
Esmerelda bustled out and the room went utterly silent. Cade still stood staring at her and she was helpless to do anything but stare at him.
The proof of her honesty was Esmerelda’s confirmation about her letters and the flowers. He’d asked his housekeeper about them without seeking a moment alone with her to coach her to lie, so he’d obviously had nothing to hide. And yet, he’d never seen the letters or known who’d sent the flowers. How was that possible?
“My apologies, Miz James.” The faint growl in his low voice carried an edge that made him seem both contrite and sincere. “I have no explanation. You sent letters and I didn’t read them. And I would have read them.”
Colleen believed him instantly and felt her tension ease. A little of her hope came back. Perhaps their terrible start wasn’t so terrible after all.
“I wanted to know how Beau and Amy are. Craig never took my calls about them and he never replied to my letters to him because he maybe blamed me for it all. I thought you either felt the same way about me or you were continuing with his wishes.”
It hurt to admit to Cade that his brother had probably hated her and blamed her for everything. And pointing it out to him was also a risk. He might decide to shun her to fulfill his brother’s wishes. But she had to be straightforward with Cade. Even if instinct hadn’t warned her to do so, she would have felt compelled to tell the whole truth, foolish or not.
Cade sat down then, but his dark gaze never left hers. “Craig said you wanted nothing to do with the kids or him.”
The magnitude of Craig’s lie was another shock and Colleen felt her face pale. She could tell that it also upset Cade, whose rugged face was now utterly solemn. Worse than questioning Cade’s honesty would be to say something that would put his dead brother’s honesty into question when he was no longer alive to defend himself. And though she hadn’t meant to do that, she had and she was helpless to correct the blunder.
The silence stretched out. She couldn’t maintain eye contact with his intense scrutiny and glanced uneasily away, though his gaze had turned disturbingly gentle.
“I’ll get to the bottom of the trouble with the letters,” he said gruffly. “But you asked about the kids.”
His mention of the children brought her hopeful gaze back to his and she couldn’t help the swell of longing and emotion she felt. It had been six long months since she’d seen them.
“They’re fine. I’ve got a nanny for them, but it’s her day off and a neighbor of mine took them to a friend’s house to play.”
“Can I see them?” Her breathless question was eager with hope, but she was terrified he’d find some reason to refuse.
“Of course you can.” The voice that was big and gruff enough to roar out commands was now husky and surprisingly gentle.
Relief intensified the emotion she felt and she looked down at her shaking hands to get control of the tears that made her eyes feel scalding and full. When she could, she gripped her hands together to still their tremors then gathered her courage and looked over at him.
“Thank you, thank you so much. It means a lot.” She smiled at him, but the effort not to cry made her mouth tremble. Desperate to keep from going teary in front of him, she went on with the more difficult reason she’d come to the Chalmers Ranch.
“Obviously, you’ll soon petition the court for permanent custody or guardianship of Beau and Amy, if you haven’t already. I wanted to be sure you know that I hope to have a place in their lives.”
There it was. Plain-spoken and direct. She was putting her heart on the line and praying Cade Chalmers wouldn’t break it. It was one thing to let her see the kids today. It was quite another to go on allowing it and to grant her the security of detailing it in a legal agreement.
She could read nothing in the rugged expression that suddenly shuttered his reaction from her. His low voice went soft, but there was no mistaking the hint of warning.
“Will you challenge me for custody?”
Colleen eased forward on the sofa to lean earnestly toward him. “I want to be assured of a place in their lives. As you can see, I’m not sure a court would consider me physically capable of around-the-clock care for a toddler and an infant. I expect to recover enough to eventually do that, but I still don’t know how long that will take.”
She paused and saw that his expression had eased a bit. “If the children are safe and well cared for and happy here, I don’t want to disrupt that. But I do want access to them. I haven’t contacted a lawyer for advice about this, but I’m not sure I’d need to independently petition the court if you’ll put something in writing to give me legitimate legal standing. Or whatever the process might be.”
Now she saw the glint of wariness in his dark gaze and she rushed to assure him of her good will.
“I’m willing to allow the court to do an assessment of me and my home. I can cover the cost of that.”
His look turned sharp and considering. “You’re serious about this?”
Emotion rose high at the comment. “I love them very much, Mr. Chalmers. I can’t describe how much I’ve missed them. I came here to make sure you know that I want to have a part in their lives and their upbringing.”
“How much a part?” Now his wariness intensified, as if he thought her presence in the children’s lives would be intrusive.
“I’m their aunt. I’d like to fulfill the pleasure and responsibility of that relationship. I know I can’t demand equal time, but I hope to have regular involvement and maybe the freedom to at least express an opinion about their care and upbringing from time to time.”
“You want a lot. What else are you after?”
The question seemed adversarial to her and that was confusing. He’d appeared to soften toward her, but now it seemed that he hadn’t softened at all. Maybe he considered her request excessive. She rushed to assure him she didn’t intend to cause problems or be a source of trouble.
“You’re welcome to select someone of your choice to evaluate me, and if you allow me to frequently visit over whatever time is left before you go to court, you’ll be able to see for yourself whether you think I’m a good or bad influence on them. And it’s not my intention to be an adversary or to be in competition with you. I just want to have a good relationship with my family.”
“What about money?”
Colleen felt the blunt question impact her, but she didn’t understand it at all. Had she missed something? But then she realized what he meant and reached for her handbag.
“I could write you a check now as a deposit on the cost of the evaluation,” she said hastily as she took out her checkbook and opened it to take hold of the pen hooked on the check register. Pen poised to write, she glanced over at him. “How much do you think? Five hundred? A thousand?”
A look of astonishment crossed his harsh expression and that confused her even more. Why did he look so surprised? She’d already told him she could cover the cost of the evaluation. Did he not want a professional evaluation of her suitability to have contact with the children?
The awful feeling that she’d missed something important in their conversation both shamed and stunned her. Her worries over her sometimes imprecise word choices suddenly seemed minor in the face of having failed to follow the details of this conversation. What had she missed? She hadn’t been aware of this problem before and the idea distressed her.
The sound of a car pulling in behind her rental car out front distracted them both. Cade immediately got up and strode toward the entry hall. Colleen forgot her worry over the confusing turn of conversation. This might be Cade’s neighbor bringing the children home and she felt a thrill of excitement.
Revived, she left her handbag and checkbook on the sofa, got carefully to her feet, and ran nervous fingers over her hair to make certain it was still tamed. She got her cane and prepared to walk toward the entry hall the moment she heard the sound of the children.
She was so weary from the long drive and the tension of her difficult talk with Cade that she’d wondered how much longer she could last and still get back to the motel where she would rent a room for the night.
But knowing that the children were probably home and that she was about to see them and hold them and kiss them, excited her and gave her an almost giddy energy that more than revived her flagging strength. She didn’t have long to wait.
The front door barely had time to open before she heard Beau’s high young voice.
“Uncle Cade! Lori’s kids got puppies!”
Colleen made her way to the entry hall, her heart going wild with excitement. It’d been six months. How much bigger had Beau grown? Would he still remember her? And Amy! She’d been five months old back then, so now she was almost a year old. Was she walking? How many words could she speak?
Colleen stepped into the entry hall, unable to keep a wide smile off her face. Because she had eyes only for the children, she barely noticed the slim, elegant blonde who ushered Beau inside and carried little Amy on her shapely hip.
Beau had indeed grown and the sight of him made her eyes sting. But Amy looked more like a little girl than a baby now, and her blue sundress set off her dark coloring and blue eyes. Beau’s dark hair was mussed, his shirttail was out and he looked like he’d been playing in the dirt.
They were so beautiful and so perfect that she had to blink away happy tears to keep her eyes from blurring and missing a second of the sight of them.
Beau saw her first as she stood there, hoping and yearning, careful to stay at the edge of the commotion while she waited for some sign of recognition and welcome from them. The way she felt now, she wasn’t certain how long she could keep herself from grabbing them for hugs and kisses, but she could do nothing until she was sure she wouldn’t startle either of them. After all, she looked different, and the last thing she wanted to do was upset them and make them wary of her. And it had been so long!
She smiled at Beau who’d stopped in his tracks and was staring at her. Amy had caught sight of her, too, and her wide eyes gave her a good looking over. She knew Amy had been too young when she’d last seen her, but she expected that Beau would remember, though she worried that her injuries might have changed the way she looked too much for him to recognize her quickly.
To her utter dismay, Beau’s happy smile froze then fell away. The look on his face switched to a frightened frown and he went instantly to Cade and grabbed his leg for security. Cade reached down to ease the boy away enough to pick him up. Beau’s little arms latched around his neck and his small face paled.
Sensing that something was terribly wrong, Colleen tried a soft, “Hello, Beau. You remember your auntie, don’t you? Aunt Colleen?” She took a small careful step forward, but Beau cuddled closer to Cade’s neck and eyed her mistrustfully.
Cade looked as if he thought Beau’s reaction was strange but he gave the boy a small bounce to draw his attention. “Your auntie’s come a long way to see you and your sister, squirt.”
“I don’t wanna see her.”
His little voice seemed to echo in the open hall and Colleen was stricken with hurt. She tried not to show it, but her smile faded a little. The entry hall had gone quiet. Colleen was aware of nothing except Beau’s fearful little face and the way Cade studied him.
“Why not?” Cade made the question sound light, but Colleen understood how serious it was. And that her future access to the children rested on Beau’s answer.
Beau didn’t hesitate. His small face was solemn and certain.
“Because she killed my mommy and hurt me an’ Amy.”
Cade’s dark gaze streaked to hers and she felt the impact as she saw him close his mind to her. She couldn’t speak a word in her defense because she was strangling and couldn’t get a full breath. It was as if the air had suddenly been sucked from the room.
And then the room began to move. Dizziness made it difficult to stand with just the support of the cane, so she put out her free hand—her weaker right hand—to the wall to keep herself upright.
Cade said something then to the woman, but Colleen’s ears were suddenly filled with a roaring sound. He set Beau on his feet. The moment he did, Beau ran out of the foyer through the passage opposite the one she stood next to. The woman walked past her silently with little Amy, but Colleen was too dazed, too horrified to move.
She killed my mommy and hurt me an’ Amy.
The terrible words and the frightened look on Beau’s face shook her and made her doubt her sanity. Somehow she’d fallen into some strange nightmare. A strange, horrible nightmare.
She felt her knees begin to give way, but the gray haze that suddenly blanketed her vision and went black kept her from knowing whether she hit the cool hard tile of the entry hall or not.
CHAPTER TWO
COLLEEN awoke alone in a dim, cool bedroom. A light blanket covered her from chin to ankle. Her head was pounding and the ringing in her ears made her feel nauseous.
And then it all came back to her. Little Amy and Beau, so beautiful. At last she could see them, was inches from touching them, kissing their sweet cheeks and hugging them to her heart.
But then the fright in Beau’s face and the horrid words, She killed my mommy and hurt me an’ Amy.
Colleen rolled painfully to her side and curled up stiffly against the agony.
…and hurt me an’ Amy.
The words beat at her brain and pummeled her heart. She’d not harmed a hair on either child. Ever. She couldn’t fathom the accusation, but the look in Beau’s eyes as he’d said it was utterly sincere. Beau believed it completely. And from the look on Cade’s face, he’d believed it, too. Oh, God!
Suddenly she felt profoundly and urgently sick. She wrestled weakly with the blanket and got free. Making her way to the private bath was a larger challenge. She couldn’t find her cane, she was almost too weak and uncoordinated to walk, but she was desperate not to be sick before she could make her way from one piece of furniture to another and reach the bathroom.
The door to the hall opened, but she was so focused on getting to the bathroom in time that she was only marginally aware of it. She gasped when big hands closed around her waist and Cade’s big body pressed against hers. He had her in the bathroom in an instant, sitting her carefully on the edge of the bathtub before he flipped on the light.
“Are you sick?”
His big voice was low and gruff, but he lifted the lid and seat of the commode to accommodate her.
Her panted, “Yes—please leave,” was slurred.
“The doctor’s on his way,” he told her and she felt his big hand settle gently on her shoulder. “Forget about me and get it over with.”
Her desperate, “No—leave!” was all she could get out before she was violently ill.
Through every mortifying moment, Cade Chalmers steadied her. Until the sickness was gone and she was limp with cold tears running down her cheeks.
Shame burned over her body and made her skin feel on fire. A cool wet washcloth moved gently and competently over her face. She was too weak and demoralized to resist as Cade helped her to the sink and guided her through a brief routine with a new toothbrush he’d loaded with gel toothpaste.
When she’d recovered and finished freshening up, the quiet consideration Cade had demonstrated—the persistently gentle way he’d taken care of her—made an impression that went so deep in her soul that her heart ached.
The most painful and trying times of her life, especially after the accident, she’d endured alone. The solitary circumstances of her life meant that once she was released from the hospital, she’d truly been on her own. She had neighbors and friends who sometimes ran errands and looked in on her, but never anyone who stayed and took care of her. Never anyone to relieve the loneliness and despair of long, gray days and painful, restless nights.
After what Beau had said, Cade must loathe the very sight of her. It said something admirable about his character that he was capable of treating her humanely, even though he must despise her.
She could barely stand and leaned heavily against the counter by the sink, her hands braced on the smooth surface.
“I never hurt them, Cade,” she got out, unable to stop the tears, though she did her best to keep the sobs quiet.
“Something’s wrong here,” he growled. “Let’s get you back to bed and we’ll figure it out later.”
He eased her away from the counter and leaned close so he could keep his arm around her waist and gently grip her left arm to support most of her weight.
“I caught you when you fainted and carried you in here, but will I hurt you if I pick you up now?”
“I can walk.”
He stopped them both. “That’s no answer.”
And then he released her arm and bent down to carefully pick her up. The sound of distress she made caused him to hesitate, as if he was afraid he’d hurt her.
“Let me walk. Please.”
But Cade must have decided that picking her up could be done without hurting her because he lifted her into his arms and held her securely against him. She looked up into his face to discern the reason for his calm kindnesses, but his expression was solemn and hard, though his dark eyes were surprisingly gentle.
His gaze shifted from hers and he started for the bedroom and the bed. He set her on the edge of the mattress, then reached behind her to get the blanket that was bunched and twisted.
“Go ahead and lie back.”
Colleen shook her head. “I’d like to sit up.”
Cade showed a trace of impatience as he straightened.
Her soft, “I’m fine now,” was a lie, but she was ashamed to let him treat her with such care when it was probably the last thing he might want to do.
He opened the blanket and wrapped it warmly around her. Then he moved away from the bed to drag a nearby wing chair closer. Without asking, he bundled her onto it. Colleen sank back, grateful for the cocooning feel of the big chair.
Cade straightened, but his dark gaze never left hers. Colleen flinched from his scrutiny.
“I’m sorry for the trouble. I’ll be fine in a while, then I can be on my way.”
His big voice was terse. “Just like that? Just leave?”
She looked at him warily, confused by his curtness. “I have no explanation for what Beau said. I don’t even know how I can defend myself. And he was so…afraid of me.” She glanced away and gripped the blanket to keep from crying. Her heart was breaking and she was too weary and wrung out to begin to make sense of it all.
“Soon as the doctor looks you over, Esmerelda will get you something to eat, then I’ll talk to Beau while you rest. You can have this room.”
Colleen shook her head. “I’ll stay at that motel back toward town.”
“Let’s see what the boy has to say first.”
She looked up at him. “I’d rather go before your talk. I can’t wait around hoping, only to have it go even more wrong later.”
“If you’re innocent, why would it go wrong?” His eyes had narrowed on her. He suspected her and it surprised her to realize he was trying to hold back judgment.
“I am innocent, but my word is already tarnished because Beau clearly believed what he said. It would be wrong for you to not take it seriously. It may not be possible to prove or disprove anything tonight. And because you can’t, it’s not responsible of either of us for me to stay around. You have my home address if someone needs to question me.”
“Even if everything checks out with the doctor, you’re in no shape to drive.”
And his mention of the doctor—again—made her feel worse. “Please call the doctor and cancel this. It’s not necessary.”
“Too late.”
Colleen shook her head, and tried not to flinch at the pain that caused her. “Then I’ll pay for it. This is a lot of fuss for nothing. I’m sorry you’ve gone to so much haste.”
She cut herself off, appalled at using the wrong word, then got out the right one. “ Trouble. Sorry for your trouble.”
Now she was emotional again. And exhausted and heartsick and scared. “I should have stayed in San Antonio and left things alone. They’ve been through so much, especially Beau. He shouldn’t have had to go through this, too.”
She paused and struggled to get control, desperate to hide the fact that she was heartbroken. “They looked beautiful and happy.” She looked up at him bravely. “You’ve done a good job with them and I’m very glad. Relieved.” Her voice broke on the word.
Cade stared. Colleen was distraught and clearly devastated. Instinct told him she was incapable of harming anyone, especially the kids. He already suspected why Beau had said what he had, but he needed to be certain.
Moment by moment, Colleen James was becoming more genuine to him. She was nothing like her selfish sister. In his experience with females, Colleen was a novelty. Simple, uncomplicated. And utterly in love with those kids. He suddenly realized that she was the kind of woman who would sacrifice herself for their well-being and happiness if need be, and Cade Chalmers found women like that irresistible.
The faint chime that carried down the hall in this wing of the house told him the doctor had arrived, so he started out of the room.
Colleen submitted to Dr. Amado’s brief examination. She knew she’d overdone it that day and the doctor gently chided her for it, though he pronounced her well enough, and readily agreed that her fainting spell was likely the result of being overtired then sustaining an emotional shock. She wasn’t comfortable discussing the reason for the shock with him and he didn’t press her.
He was kind and took his time, asking about her injuries and the types of physical therapy she’d done, then reminiscing about a couple of the surgeons she’d had. Somewhere along the line it occurred to her that he was stretching out the exam which, by itself, would have taken almost no time.
Just when she was trying to find a way to let him know she suspected him of doing just that, he smiled at her as if he’d read her mind.
“Cade wanted me to keep you busy in here for a while, but it’s been pleasant talking to you, Colleen. You’re lucky you’re doing so well, though it might not seem that way to you right now. Take care of yourself and keep up with the therapy. One day, this will all be in the past.” He leaned forward to touch her shoulder. “And she’ll live happily ever after.”
The small bit of whimsy made her force a small smile because that was the expected reaction. But she had little confidence in happily-ever-after, and today had only confirmed her pessimism.
“How much do I owe you, Doctor?”
“Cade already took care of it, and you’ll waste valuable energy arguing with him about it.” He gave her a stern look. “And you shouldn’t drive anywhere until at least tomorrow, after you’ve rested up. San Antonio is a long way off when you don’t feel well. As you probably discovered today. Go ahead and have a nap before supper. I’ll tell Cade to wake you in a couple hours.”
With that, he stood up from the chair he’d dragged over by hers and bid her a pleasant goodbye before he returned the chair to its place, got his medical bag and left the bedroom.
Once she was alone, Colleen made her way carefully to the hall door. San Antonio was indeed too far for her to drive now, but the motel she’d passed earlier that day was probably no more than five miles away. As soon as she found her cane and handbag, she’d be on her way.
Whatever Cade thought he could learn from Beau, Colleen knew nothing would solve Beau’s fear of her quickly. It was better for the boy and better for them all if she just gave up and got out. Hadn’t she known all along that this had been a wild risk, that it could go wrong?
Though she’d never imagined anyone but Cade Chalmers would be the cause of a new disaster, she shouldn’t have come here. As long as she hadn’t known for sure that she would never see the children again, she’d been able to have hope. Now she had nothing.
Cade watched Beau run out to join his sister on the back patio. He was on his trike in a flash, then pumped the pedals eagerly to race around the edges of the paving stones that formed the open-air patio that was closed in on three sides by the house.
Amy sat in the center of the patio beneath a leafy trellis in a patch of shade with a stack of oversize plastic blocks. She burst into a wide smile as she watched her brother pedal around on his “racetrack.”
The “man-to-man” talk he’d had with Beau cleared things up, but Cade felt fresh disappointment in his brother. Craig had told Beau that his Aunt Colleen had killed his mother and because Sharon’s death had devastated their little family, it meant that Colleen had also hurt Beau and Amy.
“Daddy said she hurt me and Amy most,” Beau had told him. And Craig had apparently told the boy that frequently. It would have been a lie shocking enough to forever silence the boy’s worried questions about Colleen after the wreck, and its repetition had also worked to put a fear of her in the kid. Colleen hadn’t deserved that.
Craig hadn’t been in his right mind when he’d lied to Beau. He’d become irrational about everything and tried to drown his bitterness in liquor, only to end up drowned himself.
The pain of his brother’s death a month ago was still a shock, still fresh and raw and agonizing. His pain was compounded by the fact that Craig had lied to him about Colleen from the first, then had deliberately damaged her in Beau’s eyes. The injustice of it stunned him.
His part in his brother’s lie made him feel sick. He’d easily believed Craig’s story about Colleen’s wishes after her sister’s death, so he’d not bothered to find out the truth for himself. He hadn’t known enough about her to question it. He’d based his opinion of her on his opinion of Sharon.
And even he had resented that Colleen had become such a frequent refuge for Sharon. It shamed him to realize that they’d left her lying in a hospital for months, severely injured and grieving her sister, with no family left to console or care for her. He and Craig had virtually abandoned her, and the remorse he felt for that pressed heavily on his conscience.
At least he’d done something to turn things around today. Finally. After he’d gotten answers from Beau, he’d explained to the boy that his daddy was wrong, the wreck had been an accident caused by someone else. And because Colleen hadn’t hurt their mother, she wasn’t at fault for the hurt to him and Amy.
As usual, he wasn’t certain he’d explained things well enough to the boy. Beau wouldn’t turn four for another few months, and though he was very bright, he was still a little boy.
He’d finally sent Beau out to play with the gentle encouragement to think about his aunt and see what he could remember about her.
After every one of Sharon’s frequent trips to San Antonio with the kids, Beau had come home full of happy stories about the things they’d done with Colleen, so the boy couldn’t have forgotten those. Those times, Cade had listened to Beau with only half an ear, more interested in the kid than in the aunt. But today changed all that. If Beau could remember, the problem would be solved.
He heard Doc Amado come down the hall outside his office. Cade turned from the patio doors, relieved to see the doctor’s calm smile, and eager to hear whatever doctor/patient privilege didn’t prohibit.
Colleen got her handbag and checkbook from the sofa, then found her cane on the table in the entry hall. By the time she stepped out of the house, her tired body felt as if she’d been beaten.
She saw the car that must belong to Dr. Amado, and carefully managed to walk to her rental. Once she opened the door and got in to put her seatbelt on, she was weary beyond belief.
Summoning strength from somewhere, she started the car and put it into gear to head down the long gravel drive to the highway. Because she was overtired, the ride to the motel seemed even more harrowing and exhausting than the trip from San Antonio, and it seemed to take forever to get there.
She was grateful when the desk clerk helped her carry her overnight case into the ground-floor motel room he’d rented to her. Once she dug out a tip and handed it over, she didn’t have enough energy to even undress. As soon as the clerk stepped into the hall and closed the door, she dragged down the coverlet and crawled painfully into bed.
Cade stood by impatiently as he waited for the desk clerk to unlock the door to Colleen’s room. They’d tried pounding on the door twice, but there’d been no response and Cade pictured one grim scenario after another.
Colleen had slipped out of the house and he hadn’t noticed until he’d gone to her room almost two hours later to look in on her. When Dr. Amado left his office to start back to town, Cade had gone out to be with the kids, never thinking Colleen wouldn’t be resting as the doctor had ordered.
The doctor had probably figured the same thing, and hadn’t realized the significance of her missing rental car. He might have assumed Cade had someone move it to the garage.
At last the door was open and the light was on. Colleen lay on the bed only partially covered, but still in her clothes. Her athletic shoes were still on her small feet, as if she’d either been too weary or too insensible to take them off. He could see from where he stood just inside the door with the clerk that she was breathing normally. He handed the clerk a large bill to both thank him and get rid of him.
“Thank you, Mr. Chalmers. You think she’s okay? Does she need an ambulance?”
“I don’t think so, Ronnie.” He glanced at the kid. “I’ll take it from here, thanks.”
The clerk got the message and left. Cade looked over at Colleen and walked to the bed.
One strip of Velcro on her shoes had pulled loose and was now stuck to the edge of the light blanket beneath the coverlet. The mussed bedding was evidence that Colleen might have been restless with pain, but too exhausted to fully wake up.
He reached down for the small sneakered foot that had got Velcroed to the blanket. He peeled open the other shoe tabs and took the shoe off. The other shoe came off just as quickly and he tossed both aside before he bent over her to straighten the covers.
It struck him that she slept like the kids, when they ran out of steam before a nap and fell instantly asleep wherever they were, still in their play clothes. The similarity made him feel tender toward her.
He remembered her look of confusion before she’d pulled out her checkbook and offered to write him a deposit check for a professional evaluation of her. She’d been as guileless as a child and clearly oblivious to his question about money. Instinct told him she hadn’t faked a second of it. He was still taken aback by that, but it fit with the way she suddenly reminded him of the kids.
Cade didn’t know how she should lie to minimize her discomfort, so he didn’t dare move her. She was now half on her left side, half on her stomach, and maybe she had some comfort in that position because she didn’t so much as twitch. Just like Beau and Amy when they were heavily asleep.
He hated to leave her alone here, but he had no right to take her back to the ranch when she desperately needed rest. His gaze caught on the car rental key next to the lamp on the bed table. He found a sheet of motel stationery in a drawer and scrawled a note that he propped up on the counter by the sink in the bathroom.
Cade took a last look at Colleen and decided she was sleeping naturally. Since she seemed to be all right, he couldn’t justify lingering. He had to get back to the kids so Esmerelda could go to a family wedding shower. The nanny wouldn’t be home tonight until long after the kids’ bedtime.
And though he was aware he’d trespassed on Colleen’s privacy, it made him uneasy to leave her. At least he’d solved the problem of her starting for San Antonio in the morning before he could get back here to talk to her. And that didn’t make him uneasy at all.
Muscle spasms brought Colleen awake that next morning. The battle was always to get out of bed and walk off the pain before the spasms worsened. If not for the pain, she might have lain in bed hours longer because waking up meant she had to face another hard, disappointing day.
Remembering what had happened with little Beau made this day stretch impossibly long before her. How many more difficult, joyless days could she face? So far they’d been a test of endurance as she’d slowly worked toward her goal.
But now the goal that had drawn her on when she was most discouraged and hurting, had been lost. She had to find a way to move forward without it, to fix something else in her mind that held the promise of home or belonging.
The world was a lonely, unloving place. She was a lonely woman with no one to love and no purpose beyond herself. Surely there was some way to connect, someone or some cause to pour herself into. But she was no good to anyone like this and it might be a long time before she was recovered enough to have anything of value to offer others.
Perhaps she’d take a few college classes in the fall. The trucking company whose driver was responsible for the crash had made a very substantial settlement offer to avoid going to court. She hadn’t accepted it yet, since she wanted to be certain it was enough to cover ongoing medical care. And she wasn’t yet certain of the level of permanent disability she’d have to cope with, or whether she’d need more education to do another job.
She’d worked as a bookkeeper, but so far, she hadn’t been released to go back to the office. And she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to do the job now. Recovering her math skills had been frustratingly slow because of her head injury. She couldn’t even reconcile her checkbook yet and sometimes she despaired of ever again making consistent sense of complicated math calculations.
It made her worry that she’d fail the college courses. Her confidence was shaky and she was still too fragile to face the challenge of retraining for a new job or learning something new.
Colleen leaned heavily on her cane and braced her weaker right hand against the wall, then along the desk and armoire as she walked painfully up and down the room to stop the spasms and reclaim some semblance of supple movement before she tried to undress and take a shower.
When she at last was able to walk into the bathroom, she caught sight of the note propped up beside the sink.
She instantly recognized the handwriting she’d never seen before only because it so clearly indicated the forceful personality of the man who’d written it.
I’ll return your keys at breakfast. Cade.
The peculiar sensation that went through her sent a tingle over her skin. Cade Chalmers had been in her room and she’d never known it. He’d come after her and taken something of hers hostage to enforce his will.
Colleen stared at the note. The sheer novelty of Cade’s minor pursuit was dangerous for someone like her. She’d moved in and out of the lives of most of the people around her all her life and was accustomed to the indifference of those who neither objected to her presence nor seemed particularly bothered by her absence. She was not a woman who tried to be noticed, either by her entrances or her exits or in her daily life, and she was too unremarkable to believe that would ever change, though she sometimes fantasized that it might.
Sharon had attracted all the attention there was to be had for the James sisters, and lackluster Colleen had existed at the edge of her sister’s beauty and sparkling personality without a single resentment or second thought.
Not that she hadn’t wished that, just once, someone would notice her and single her out for the attention Sharon received as naturally as air and sunshine.
Cade’s intention to keep her from leaving and this note were hardly a fulfillment of that silly, secret wish, but it was a nice surprise to have a small taste of what it might be like.
Suddenly annoyed with herself, Colleen set the note aside. It was more likely that she’d angered him by slipping away from the ranch. He was too domineering and probably too controlling to tolerate a nobody like her sidestepping his wishes.
And nothing could have happened to explain or resolve Beau’s feelings toward her this soon. It was even possible that Cade would have her investigated for child abuse. His taking her car keys had to be the result of his decision to either start the wheels in motion for that or to officially issue a stern edict to her in person that would forever forbid her access to Beau and Amy.
Suddenly so disheartened and depressed that she could barely move, Colleen had to force herself to shower and dress to prepare for a new disaster.
CHAPTER THREE
CADE knocked briskly on the motel room door and waited. When Colleen opened it, she looked flustered and not ready for company. She’d showered and dressed and put on a touch of makeup, but her rapidly drying hair was proof she hadn’t tamed it yet. As he’d suspected, without some kind of hair goo, her hair stood straight out all over her head just like Beau’s and Amy’s had as babies before it got long enough to lie flat.
Obviously, a night’s sleep had done her good. She looked fresher than she had yesterday, though there was still a pained weariness about her and he couldn’t have missed the anxiety in her eyes.
She didn’t greet him and he said nothing to her, but she stepped back and he walked into the room. He could feel her uncertainty, her wariness, and he got the impression that she was terrified of being further hurt and traumatized.
“H-how are Beau and Amy?”
The self-conscious way she asked about them suggested that the only topic that would ever be truly important or significant to her was the kids and how they were. Was that true? But one look at her face told him it was. She was deeply uneasy, which told him how worried she still was about Beau’s reaction to her yesterday.
“They’re fine. Playing on the patio with Connie when I left.” He paused when he saw that she was alert to his mention of a stranger’s name. “She’s the nanny.”
Colleen glanced away and gave a stiff nod. “Did you have a chance to talk to Beau?”
Now he heard the faint tremor in her voice and he was blunt to spare her further suspense. “Craig convinced Beau that Sharon’s death hurt them all, Beau and Amy most. Beau was never saying that you did him or Amy any physical harm.”
Colleen’s gaze veered back to his and held. The hope he saw in her now touched him, so he told her the rest. “Craig was bitter when Sharon left and then went crazy when she was killed. You were handy to blame.”
He felt a pinprick of disloyalty to Craig, as if he’d switched sides to stand with an outsider. And a female outsider at that. But the truth was, Colleen James was one female who deserved to have someone on her side. He hoped he was right, but God help her if he wasn’t.
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Susan Fox
Cade Chalmers knew he was playing with fire by attempting to live under the same roof as Colleen. But he was desperate: Cade needed to share custody of his orphaned niece and nephew with her. The trouble was, each time he was alone with Colleen for even a minute, they clashed…It wasn't just antagonism–it was explosive attraction. Cade decided he simply had to bite the bullet–the best thing for the children would be for him and Colleen to marry. It was a purely common-sense proposal, but the result was fireworks!
“I think I’m about to shock you, Colleen.”
When he continued, his voice was low and rough, almost a rasp. “I planned never to marry. I don’t believe in love, not the hearts and flowers kind. But I changed my mind about marriage today. The kids need stability. You love them like I do….”
Colleen sensed what was coming then, but couldn’t believe it. Cade was right, he was shocking her.
“I think we should marry, Colleen.”
Her heart gave a huge leap. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. This had to be a dream. They barely knew each other—how could they possibly consider marriage?
What kind of man makes the perfect husband?
A man with a big heart and strong arms—someone tough
but tender, powerful yet passionate….
And where can such a man be found?
Marriages made on the ranch…
Susan Fox lives with her youngest son, Patrick, in Des Moines, Iowa, U.S.A. A lifelong fan of Westerns and cowboys, she tends to think of romantic heroes in terms of Stetsons and boots! In what spare time she has, Susan is an unabashed couch potato and movie fan. She particularly enjoys romantic movies and also reads a variety of romance novels—with guaranteed happy endings—and plans to write many more of her own.
The Wife He Chose
Susan Fox
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE (#u16263f61-0e1a-5074-9008-f25d219da47b)
CHAPTER TWO (#uc047155d-e5b5-5f95-935f-19c30e1393d4)
CHAPTER THREE (#udc90ef9b-d7ef-5adb-8502-a29d0cb10ab1)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE
IT HAD taken months to recover from the terrible car crash that had killed her sister. And yet, fully recovering from either her sister’s death or her own injuries might never be possible.
Even now, as Colleen James drove down the Texas highway, she suffered the constant ache and weariness of a body that had been broken and traumatized, that was still far from healed after multiple surgeries and months of therapy.
The wreck was also responsible for the frequent headaches she got when she was overtired. She was still weak on her right side, and when she was tired or upset, she was even more unsteady on her feet. The feminine grace and ease of movement she’d taken for granted before the crash were now no more than a golden memory. Her awkwardness embarrassed her. The slim, black cane she hated to use was a necessity and might yet be for weeks or months more.
But the emotional injuries were the most formidable. She couldn’t seem to shake the depression that clung to her and made her days gray and trying. The terror of driving a car, or even riding as a passenger in one, had been debilitating. Only after days of determined practice with a rental car had she overcome her fear of driving enough to make the two-hour trip from San Antonio to the Chalmers Ranch.
Because it was imperative that she speak to Cade Chalmers. She’d sent a handful of letters to him, including flowers and condolences for the recent death of his brother, Craig. This past week, she’d phoned him three times, including the call this morning just before she’d left San Antonio. He hadn’t responded to any of her letters and he’d never returned her calls.
She’d decided a try at a face-to-face meeting with him was preferable to contacting him through a lawyer, which he might resent, but time was running out.
Her late sister’s three-year-old son and infant daughter—had now also lost their father. Craig Chalmers had drowned accidentally a month ago, and permanent custody of the children should soon be decided by a judge. The fact that their Uncle Cade currently had custody of them made it imperative that she speak to him.
Colleen was certain he’d given no thought to her regarding visitation, or that he’d even considered granting her access to her late sister’s children. That’s why she’d made the difficult trip, to both remind Cade Chalmers that she existed and to demonstrate to him the level of concern she felt about his apparent indifference to preserving the children’s tie to her.
She couldn’t successfully petition the courts for the privilege of raising them herself because of her limitations, but she wanted to have some part in their lives.
Cade’s late brother, Craig, had also been indifferent to her, and he’d blamed her for the fact that she’d enabled Sharon’s trial separation from him by allowing her and the children to live with her while they decided whether or not to divorce. His refusal to respond to her letters or calls after Sharon’s death was proof of that.
And Colleen had been the one who’d been driving when Sharon was killed. Thank God the children had been safely at home in her apartment with a sitter. There’d been no way to avoid or escape the semi-trailer truck that had all but run over their car in a busy San Antonio intersection. The setting sun had blinded the truck driver to their car until it was too late. His frantic effort to stop the turning vehicle had been hindered by the powerful momentum of the loaded trailer.
Though she remembered nothing of the wreck or that last day with Sharon, she’d later seen the newspaper reports of it that had been saved for her, and the traffic reports, along with the trucker’s and witness’s statements. The terror she had now was the result of the horrifying nightmares that resulted.
A fresh sheen of perspiration sent a chill over her skin and her palms were suddenly slick on the steering wheel. The two-lane highway in front of her seemed too narrow to safely navigate, and every time she saw a semi hurtling in her direction in the oncoming lane, she felt a jolt of fear. The nausea was overwhelming.
If the turnoff to the ranch hadn’t finally come into sight, she might have had to find another place to pull off the highway. What should have been a two-hour trip to the ranch had lengthened to more than four because of the occasional stops she’d had to make to calm herself. There’d been times that day when only her desire to see her niece and nephew again had made her go on.
Once she turned off onto the ranch road, she brought the car to a halt and tried to recover. A headache thumped at her brain, and it seemed to take forever before the nausea calmed. Her hands still trembled and she had a cautious drink of bottled water to soothe her dry mouth.
Finally settled enough to drive on, Colleen started down the ranch road. The car’s slower speed on the gravel and the absence of traffic helped put her at ease. Over the last long, slow rise of road, the main house came into view.
The Chalmers Ranch headquarters was impressive, even against the rugged backdrop of massive rangeland. The fact that the Chalmers measured their vast land acres by the tens of thousands was still an overwhelming notion to someone who’d been born and raised in the city.
The main house held its own among the barns and buildings and the network of corrals that spread out behind it. The house was a huge, single-story adobe built in a C that faced away from the road and boasted a red tile roof and a deep front veranda with adobe arches. The shade beneath the veranda roof promised a cool haven from the heat of a Texas afternoon.
By the time Colleen pulled her rented car to a halt near the end of the front walk, she was trembling with nerves. Fortunately, the place looked deserted, which gave her time to blot the perspiration from her face and shore up her courage.
She doubted she’d ever have enough courage to face Cade Chalmers calmly and confidently. Her sister had been intimidated by him, though she’d also confided to Colleen that he’d been gentle and very good to the children. He’d never shown Sharon much warmth or approval, which had made it difficult for Sharon to feel comfortable with him.
Colleen’s own memory was of a big, rugged man almost too gruff and terse to approach. In the few times she’d met him, he’d been distant and polite, but his manner suggested he judged people harshly.
He’d made it obvious that he found her uninteresting and inconsequential, perhaps no one he’d even notice if she hadn’t been the sister of his brother’s wife.
Colleen was hardly the beauty her sister had been and now, with her dark hair a scant two inches long if that, she felt even less attractive than before the crash. She’d lost so much weight that she looked like a plain, effeminate boy. Men had rarely found her attractive and now they virtually ignored her except to stare at her cane and observe her awkward manner with a mix of curiosity and veiled pity.
All of that underscored the notion that little Beau and baby Amy were the only family she’d ever have. And though she’d loved both of them fiercely from birth, the circumstances of her bleak future made it imperative to be allowed access to them and permitted the joy and happy responsibility of being their aunt. She was the only closely related member from the James family that the two children had. Surely Cade Chalmers would see the importance of that.
Cade Chalmers was on his way to the kitchen from his office in the east wing, when he heard the car pull up out front. He walked to the entry hall to see who it was, but he didn’t recognize the thin, frail woman who stepped out and started toward the door. The black cane got his immediate attention and memory kicked in.
Colleen James walked stiffly, her every movement giving as much an impression of self-consciousness as of wary care. She used the support of the cane as if she needed it. So much so that he wondered why she was not on crutches.
Colleen was one person he didn’t care to see or have anything to do with. She’d let herself get too involved in the petty marital dispute that had resulted in the death of her sister and finally his brother, leaving a three-year-old and an infant orphaned. If she’d refused to let herself get drawn into it all, things might have been quickly resolved. It was his belief that flighty, irresponsible Sharon might have settled down easier to her family responsibilities if Colleen hadn’t been around to rescue her whenever she couldn’t get her way.
Sharon had been the kind of mercenary female he’d been pushing away all his adult life. His brother had fallen for her then let himself be dragged around like a lovesick fool. Sharon had paid him back by making his life hell.
And that hell had been the litmus test of Craig’s level of addiction to his beautiful, manipulative wife. Then she’d had the bad luck to die.
Following the accident, Cade had had a distraught brother to deal with, a bewildered toddler and a helpless infant on his hands. Colleen had been in a coma for weeks so the arrangements for her sister’s funeral had also fallen to him.
Craig had learned later that Colleen wanted no part of him or the kids, so Cade had rapidly put her out of his mind. He’d had enough to handle with the kids and the ranch and his younger brother’s descent into a bottle. Craig hadn’t been able to face life sober without his flighty wife.
But both of them were gone now. Gone and oblivious to the pain and hardship they’d left behind for their kids.
Why Colleen James suddenly decided to show up here was no more than a minor mystery for him. One that would surely take little time to uncover and was sure to amount to nothing of real consequence. Maybe she needed money. If she did, she was out of luck. James women had gotten their last dollar from Chalmers men.
He opened the door just as Colleen stepped into the shade of the veranda. The surprise of his appearance seemed to startle her and she faltered. But then the surprise was his as he saw her up close.
Her skin was pale, nearly translucent, and there were feathery lines of strain around her mouth. Weariness made her eyelids droop slightly, but the look in the clear blue of her eyes was almost spiritless.
She had been willowy before, but now she was thin and about as insubstantial as a strip of gauze. A light breeze would topple her and he was inclined to go easy on her.
His gaze flicked to the car behind her and he revised his impression. She was well enough to drive herself from San Antonio, so she was probably stronger than she looked.
Her sister had tried everyone’s patience with a list of minor infirmities that ran the gamut from headaches to frazzled nerves. She’d had a way of avoiding the daily care of her kids that had seemed selfish to him. And though hiring nannies and sitters had been a solution the Chalmers’ could easily afford and had, Sharon’s penchant for firing them or running them off with demands to lavish her with as much care and attention as they gave the kids, made the search for replacements a constant bother.
But as he stared at the changes in Colleen James, he felt guilty for the harsh comparison. He knew her injuries had been severe and it was obvious she was nowhere near a full recovery. And the frailty he saw would be impossible to fake. Curious now, he studied her more intently.
Her sable hair was too damned short. Short enough that it tried to stick out all over her head, but she’d smoothed it down with some kind of hair goo. Her eyes, a near robin’s egg color, were large and fringed with dark lashes. Her nose was fine and slim and her lips were only slightly full, though they looked tender and vulnerable to him—too tender and vulnerable to have had much kissing.
If she ever put on weight, her small body would be more feminine. The image the thought put in his mind startled him and caused a strong stir of attraction in spite of the frail boyish look she had now.
His gruff, “Miz James,” was formal and terse.
Her quiet, “Mr. Chalmers,” was equally formal, but he’d seen the quiver of anxiety that showed in her eyes. “May I come in?”
The question acknowledged his rudeness in staring at her, rather than immediately inviting her in. But it was also an acknowledgment of his right to deny her access to his home. Sharon wouldn’t have asked. She’d have helped herself and walked in. Or gone teary if she even imagined resistance.
Cade stepped aside to let her pass, then walked through the entry hall at her slow pace. He ushered her into the living room and as she chose a place to sit at the end of the sofa, he called his housekeeper. Esmerelda appeared at once.
“¿Sí?”
“Could you bring in a tray?”
“Coffee?”
Cade glanced at Colleen.
“Just water would be fine, thank you.”
His brisk, “And coffee for me, Esmerelda,” sent the housekeeper back to the kitchen. Cade took a seat in the big armchair that faced the sofa and watched coolly as Colleen set her cane aside.
“Thank you for seeing me. I was sorry to hear about Craig. It was a shock.”
Cade felt a nettle of anger. There’d been no acknowledgment from her of his brother’s death until this moment. It was almost as if she’d decided she needed to express her condolences now only because she wanted something from him. And he could tell when females wanted something from him. He could always tell.
She went on and he felt his irritation rise. “I realize the flowers and the card were too late for the funeral, but I didn’t find out until I read it in the papers.”
He caught the faint chastisement for not informing her himself, but she wasn’t pitiful enough to let her off the hook for lying about flowers and condolences.
“There were no flowers or card, Miz James,” he said bluntly. “Why are you here?”
Colleen felt the sting of his rebuke, but she was shocked that the flowers and card had not been delivered.
“There must be some mistake. Whatever had happened these past months, Craig was my brother-inlaw. I couldn’t make it to the funeral, but I did send flowers and a card. I wouldn’t have let something that serious go by unacknowledged, even if it was belated.”
Her explanation did nothing but harden his rugged expression, and he’d never seemed more intimidating. His big body was wide-shouldered, narrow-hipped, and corded with heavy muscles that made him rock-solid and gave an impression of physical power that no one but a bodybuilder would dare to challenge.
But it was his face that held her attention, and always had. Rugged and no-nonsense, he had dark brows over deep-set eyes the color of aged bourbon. His cheekbones were high and prominent enough to suggest at least a trace of Native American ancestry. His nose was sharply bladed and gave the same impression of ancestry, but his mouth was a carved line that could go straight and hard with temper or—rarely—curve into a line that lit his face and made him seem years younger and surprisingly handsome.
Because Cade Chalmers was not handsome, not really. But he was impressive and his harsh, rugged looks were as charismatic as a movie star’s. It had always been a struggle not to stare at him, but he’d never caught her at it because she’d been virtually invisible to him. A lackluster, unremarkable female firmly in the shade of her beautiful, outgoing younger sister.
She stared at him now, though, almost more than she cared to, because he’d become impatient with her. And he was angry because he thought she’d lied to him.
“Why are you here?” The terse question closed the subject of the flowers and the card. He’d heard her explanation and judged her a liar. Distressed, she rallied to correct the judgment.
“I’m sure the florist kept a record of the order. It was a local shop. Josie’s Flowers, I think. And I used my Visa card.”
Cade’s dark brows lowered. He’d made up his mind and it was clear that he didn’t want to be confused by the facts. Colleen felt her dismay deepen. This was a terrible start.
“Is that why you didn’t answer my letters or return my calls,” she asked cautiously, “because I’d hurt your feelings?”
Because I’d hurt your feelings?
Colleen felt a jolt of horror. She’d not intended to put it that way! As if someone like her could ever be important enough to Cade Chalmers—or that anyone could—to hurt his feelings was preposterous.
Offend or insult him, yes; hurt his feelings, no. Men like Cade Chalmers were too macho to own up to feminine notions like hurt feelings. In this case, he’d probably been angered by what he’d consider an intentional snub. She should have worded it that way, but one of her problems after the crash was that she sometimes spoke imprecisely.
To her surprise, the hard slash of his stern mouth relaxed into the suggestion of a smile. His low-voiced, “What letters?” was not harsh at all then, as if his amusement over the hurt feelings remark had softened him.
Encouraged and distracted from correcting her remark, she answered. “Besides the flowers, I sent you three letters asking about the children and a condolence card, and I called here this week and left phone messages three times. One of those times was this morning.”
She hesitated, not certain it was possible that he couldn’t have seen or heard about the letters or the calls. Had he truly not received them? Or was he lying? If he was, then his earlier challenge to her honesty gave her grave concerns about his character, and she was suddenly worried about him raising Amy and Beau.
“Mr. Chalmers, I have tried to contact you,” she said earnestly. “I know I had the address right and I know I dialed the right number. You should know I have, and I think you probably do.”
Now the faint amusement on his face vanished and his features went harsh again at her quiet conclusion. She was shaking now and she felt tiny dots of perspiration break out on her skin. Nevertheless, she dared a softly spoken, “I can’t imagine why you’d…pretend.”
Unable to bear the sharp look he gave her then, she glanced anxiously away and felt painful heat in her cheeks. Why would he lie to her like this? Obviously he didn’t respect her enough or hold her in high enough regard to tell her the truth. The lack of personal integrity that implied increased her worry about the kind of guardian he would make.
Any realistic hope she’d had that he’d allow her to be a part of the children’s lives died. And probably had long before the moment she’d questioned his word. Now she’d have to find a lawyer and see what the courts might grant her. And that would probably be nothing.
Before either of them could say more, Esmerelda came in with a tray. Once she set it on the stout wooden coffee table between them, she handed Colleen a heavy crystal glass of ice water. Colleen took it with a faint smile and a word of thanks.
Her hands shook, and the weight of the crystal and the condensation on the outside of the glass made it difficult for her to hold. Esmerelda left the room and once Colleen had taken a tense sip, she leaned forward to put the glass back on the tray, prepared to pursue Cade for an explanation. Though she was wary of him and more than a little terrified, she had to think about little Beau and Amy and their best interests. Nothing was more important than that.
But to her horror, the glass slipped from her weakened grip and dropped to the floor with a sharp crack. Water flew everywhere and the sudden disaster shamed her. Awkwardly, she slid forward on the sofa to reach for the neatly folded linen napkin on the tray. She didn’t realize the napkin was anchored by the saucer of the coffee cup until she yanked on it and managed to spill the brim-full cup that rested on its corner.
Mortification and the frantic need to blot up the mess she’d made on the floor made her lose her balance on the edge of the sofa and go down painfully on her left knee in the spilled water and ice cubes. The glass hadn’t broken, but her knee grazed it and sent it spinning under the coffee table.
Cade was at her side almost before she could register the series of minor disasters. He lifted her and set her out of the way on the sofa. He took the napkin and calmly blotted water off the carpet with one hand while he got the glass with the other and swiftly replaced the spilled ice cubes before he set it back on the tray. At least the rolled edges of the tray had kept the coffee spill confined.
Colleen’s horrified, “I’m so sorry,” was as much as she was capable of. Even if she hadn’t already alienated Cade and spoiled her chances to be allowed contact with the children, the clumsy weakness she’d hoped to conceal from him had now been starkly demonstrated. Her obvious physical difficulties would make her a poor choice for unsupervised visits with a toddler and an infant, and Cade Chalmers would have no patience with the added inconvenience her involvement would cause him. If there’d ever truly been a realistic hope of her involvement.
Evidently, Esmerelda heard the commotion and came rushing back into the room.
“I’m so sorry for this,” Colleen repeated to her.
Esmerelda waved it away with a gracious smile, as if the embarrassing disaster was too minor to take note of. “Water on the carpet is not a problem.” She started forward to pick up the tray as Cade moved aside.
He addressed Esmerelda before she could. “Do you remember any letters Miz James might have sent?”
Esmerelda seemed to think the question was odd, but she nodded. “Sí. I have seen her name on some and also the fine flowers she sent. I put them on your desk like always and the flowers on this table. Do you not recall?”
Cade’s face was like weathered rock. “Thanks, Esmerelda. I’d appreciate a new tray when you get this one out of the way.”
Esmerelda bustled out and the room went utterly silent. Cade still stood staring at her and she was helpless to do anything but stare at him.
The proof of her honesty was Esmerelda’s confirmation about her letters and the flowers. He’d asked his housekeeper about them without seeking a moment alone with her to coach her to lie, so he’d obviously had nothing to hide. And yet, he’d never seen the letters or known who’d sent the flowers. How was that possible?
“My apologies, Miz James.” The faint growl in his low voice carried an edge that made him seem both contrite and sincere. “I have no explanation. You sent letters and I didn’t read them. And I would have read them.”
Colleen believed him instantly and felt her tension ease. A little of her hope came back. Perhaps their terrible start wasn’t so terrible after all.
“I wanted to know how Beau and Amy are. Craig never took my calls about them and he never replied to my letters to him because he maybe blamed me for it all. I thought you either felt the same way about me or you were continuing with his wishes.”
It hurt to admit to Cade that his brother had probably hated her and blamed her for everything. And pointing it out to him was also a risk. He might decide to shun her to fulfill his brother’s wishes. But she had to be straightforward with Cade. Even if instinct hadn’t warned her to do so, she would have felt compelled to tell the whole truth, foolish or not.
Cade sat down then, but his dark gaze never left hers. “Craig said you wanted nothing to do with the kids or him.”
The magnitude of Craig’s lie was another shock and Colleen felt her face pale. She could tell that it also upset Cade, whose rugged face was now utterly solemn. Worse than questioning Cade’s honesty would be to say something that would put his dead brother’s honesty into question when he was no longer alive to defend himself. And though she hadn’t meant to do that, she had and she was helpless to correct the blunder.
The silence stretched out. She couldn’t maintain eye contact with his intense scrutiny and glanced uneasily away, though his gaze had turned disturbingly gentle.
“I’ll get to the bottom of the trouble with the letters,” he said gruffly. “But you asked about the kids.”
His mention of the children brought her hopeful gaze back to his and she couldn’t help the swell of longing and emotion she felt. It had been six long months since she’d seen them.
“They’re fine. I’ve got a nanny for them, but it’s her day off and a neighbor of mine took them to a friend’s house to play.”
“Can I see them?” Her breathless question was eager with hope, but she was terrified he’d find some reason to refuse.
“Of course you can.” The voice that was big and gruff enough to roar out commands was now husky and surprisingly gentle.
Relief intensified the emotion she felt and she looked down at her shaking hands to get control of the tears that made her eyes feel scalding and full. When she could, she gripped her hands together to still their tremors then gathered her courage and looked over at him.
“Thank you, thank you so much. It means a lot.” She smiled at him, but the effort not to cry made her mouth tremble. Desperate to keep from going teary in front of him, she went on with the more difficult reason she’d come to the Chalmers Ranch.
“Obviously, you’ll soon petition the court for permanent custody or guardianship of Beau and Amy, if you haven’t already. I wanted to be sure you know that I hope to have a place in their lives.”
There it was. Plain-spoken and direct. She was putting her heart on the line and praying Cade Chalmers wouldn’t break it. It was one thing to let her see the kids today. It was quite another to go on allowing it and to grant her the security of detailing it in a legal agreement.
She could read nothing in the rugged expression that suddenly shuttered his reaction from her. His low voice went soft, but there was no mistaking the hint of warning.
“Will you challenge me for custody?”
Colleen eased forward on the sofa to lean earnestly toward him. “I want to be assured of a place in their lives. As you can see, I’m not sure a court would consider me physically capable of around-the-clock care for a toddler and an infant. I expect to recover enough to eventually do that, but I still don’t know how long that will take.”
She paused and saw that his expression had eased a bit. “If the children are safe and well cared for and happy here, I don’t want to disrupt that. But I do want access to them. I haven’t contacted a lawyer for advice about this, but I’m not sure I’d need to independently petition the court if you’ll put something in writing to give me legitimate legal standing. Or whatever the process might be.”
Now she saw the glint of wariness in his dark gaze and she rushed to assure him of her good will.
“I’m willing to allow the court to do an assessment of me and my home. I can cover the cost of that.”
His look turned sharp and considering. “You’re serious about this?”
Emotion rose high at the comment. “I love them very much, Mr. Chalmers. I can’t describe how much I’ve missed them. I came here to make sure you know that I want to have a part in their lives and their upbringing.”
“How much a part?” Now his wariness intensified, as if he thought her presence in the children’s lives would be intrusive.
“I’m their aunt. I’d like to fulfill the pleasure and responsibility of that relationship. I know I can’t demand equal time, but I hope to have regular involvement and maybe the freedom to at least express an opinion about their care and upbringing from time to time.”
“You want a lot. What else are you after?”
The question seemed adversarial to her and that was confusing. He’d appeared to soften toward her, but now it seemed that he hadn’t softened at all. Maybe he considered her request excessive. She rushed to assure him she didn’t intend to cause problems or be a source of trouble.
“You’re welcome to select someone of your choice to evaluate me, and if you allow me to frequently visit over whatever time is left before you go to court, you’ll be able to see for yourself whether you think I’m a good or bad influence on them. And it’s not my intention to be an adversary or to be in competition with you. I just want to have a good relationship with my family.”
“What about money?”
Colleen felt the blunt question impact her, but she didn’t understand it at all. Had she missed something? But then she realized what he meant and reached for her handbag.
“I could write you a check now as a deposit on the cost of the evaluation,” she said hastily as she took out her checkbook and opened it to take hold of the pen hooked on the check register. Pen poised to write, she glanced over at him. “How much do you think? Five hundred? A thousand?”
A look of astonishment crossed his harsh expression and that confused her even more. Why did he look so surprised? She’d already told him she could cover the cost of the evaluation. Did he not want a professional evaluation of her suitability to have contact with the children?
The awful feeling that she’d missed something important in their conversation both shamed and stunned her. Her worries over her sometimes imprecise word choices suddenly seemed minor in the face of having failed to follow the details of this conversation. What had she missed? She hadn’t been aware of this problem before and the idea distressed her.
The sound of a car pulling in behind her rental car out front distracted them both. Cade immediately got up and strode toward the entry hall. Colleen forgot her worry over the confusing turn of conversation. This might be Cade’s neighbor bringing the children home and she felt a thrill of excitement.
Revived, she left her handbag and checkbook on the sofa, got carefully to her feet, and ran nervous fingers over her hair to make certain it was still tamed. She got her cane and prepared to walk toward the entry hall the moment she heard the sound of the children.
She was so weary from the long drive and the tension of her difficult talk with Cade that she’d wondered how much longer she could last and still get back to the motel where she would rent a room for the night.
But knowing that the children were probably home and that she was about to see them and hold them and kiss them, excited her and gave her an almost giddy energy that more than revived her flagging strength. She didn’t have long to wait.
The front door barely had time to open before she heard Beau’s high young voice.
“Uncle Cade! Lori’s kids got puppies!”
Colleen made her way to the entry hall, her heart going wild with excitement. It’d been six months. How much bigger had Beau grown? Would he still remember her? And Amy! She’d been five months old back then, so now she was almost a year old. Was she walking? How many words could she speak?
Colleen stepped into the entry hall, unable to keep a wide smile off her face. Because she had eyes only for the children, she barely noticed the slim, elegant blonde who ushered Beau inside and carried little Amy on her shapely hip.
Beau had indeed grown and the sight of him made her eyes sting. But Amy looked more like a little girl than a baby now, and her blue sundress set off her dark coloring and blue eyes. Beau’s dark hair was mussed, his shirttail was out and he looked like he’d been playing in the dirt.
They were so beautiful and so perfect that she had to blink away happy tears to keep her eyes from blurring and missing a second of the sight of them.
Beau saw her first as she stood there, hoping and yearning, careful to stay at the edge of the commotion while she waited for some sign of recognition and welcome from them. The way she felt now, she wasn’t certain how long she could keep herself from grabbing them for hugs and kisses, but she could do nothing until she was sure she wouldn’t startle either of them. After all, she looked different, and the last thing she wanted to do was upset them and make them wary of her. And it had been so long!
She smiled at Beau who’d stopped in his tracks and was staring at her. Amy had caught sight of her, too, and her wide eyes gave her a good looking over. She knew Amy had been too young when she’d last seen her, but she expected that Beau would remember, though she worried that her injuries might have changed the way she looked too much for him to recognize her quickly.
To her utter dismay, Beau’s happy smile froze then fell away. The look on his face switched to a frightened frown and he went instantly to Cade and grabbed his leg for security. Cade reached down to ease the boy away enough to pick him up. Beau’s little arms latched around his neck and his small face paled.
Sensing that something was terribly wrong, Colleen tried a soft, “Hello, Beau. You remember your auntie, don’t you? Aunt Colleen?” She took a small careful step forward, but Beau cuddled closer to Cade’s neck and eyed her mistrustfully.
Cade looked as if he thought Beau’s reaction was strange but he gave the boy a small bounce to draw his attention. “Your auntie’s come a long way to see you and your sister, squirt.”
“I don’t wanna see her.”
His little voice seemed to echo in the open hall and Colleen was stricken with hurt. She tried not to show it, but her smile faded a little. The entry hall had gone quiet. Colleen was aware of nothing except Beau’s fearful little face and the way Cade studied him.
“Why not?” Cade made the question sound light, but Colleen understood how serious it was. And that her future access to the children rested on Beau’s answer.
Beau didn’t hesitate. His small face was solemn and certain.
“Because she killed my mommy and hurt me an’ Amy.”
Cade’s dark gaze streaked to hers and she felt the impact as she saw him close his mind to her. She couldn’t speak a word in her defense because she was strangling and couldn’t get a full breath. It was as if the air had suddenly been sucked from the room.
And then the room began to move. Dizziness made it difficult to stand with just the support of the cane, so she put out her free hand—her weaker right hand—to the wall to keep herself upright.
Cade said something then to the woman, but Colleen’s ears were suddenly filled with a roaring sound. He set Beau on his feet. The moment he did, Beau ran out of the foyer through the passage opposite the one she stood next to. The woman walked past her silently with little Amy, but Colleen was too dazed, too horrified to move.
She killed my mommy and hurt me an’ Amy.
The terrible words and the frightened look on Beau’s face shook her and made her doubt her sanity. Somehow she’d fallen into some strange nightmare. A strange, horrible nightmare.
She felt her knees begin to give way, but the gray haze that suddenly blanketed her vision and went black kept her from knowing whether she hit the cool hard tile of the entry hall or not.
CHAPTER TWO
COLLEEN awoke alone in a dim, cool bedroom. A light blanket covered her from chin to ankle. Her head was pounding and the ringing in her ears made her feel nauseous.
And then it all came back to her. Little Amy and Beau, so beautiful. At last she could see them, was inches from touching them, kissing their sweet cheeks and hugging them to her heart.
But then the fright in Beau’s face and the horrid words, She killed my mommy and hurt me an’ Amy.
Colleen rolled painfully to her side and curled up stiffly against the agony.
…and hurt me an’ Amy.
The words beat at her brain and pummeled her heart. She’d not harmed a hair on either child. Ever. She couldn’t fathom the accusation, but the look in Beau’s eyes as he’d said it was utterly sincere. Beau believed it completely. And from the look on Cade’s face, he’d believed it, too. Oh, God!
Suddenly she felt profoundly and urgently sick. She wrestled weakly with the blanket and got free. Making her way to the private bath was a larger challenge. She couldn’t find her cane, she was almost too weak and uncoordinated to walk, but she was desperate not to be sick before she could make her way from one piece of furniture to another and reach the bathroom.
The door to the hall opened, but she was so focused on getting to the bathroom in time that she was only marginally aware of it. She gasped when big hands closed around her waist and Cade’s big body pressed against hers. He had her in the bathroom in an instant, sitting her carefully on the edge of the bathtub before he flipped on the light.
“Are you sick?”
His big voice was low and gruff, but he lifted the lid and seat of the commode to accommodate her.
Her panted, “Yes—please leave,” was slurred.
“The doctor’s on his way,” he told her and she felt his big hand settle gently on her shoulder. “Forget about me and get it over with.”
Her desperate, “No—leave!” was all she could get out before she was violently ill.
Through every mortifying moment, Cade Chalmers steadied her. Until the sickness was gone and she was limp with cold tears running down her cheeks.
Shame burned over her body and made her skin feel on fire. A cool wet washcloth moved gently and competently over her face. She was too weak and demoralized to resist as Cade helped her to the sink and guided her through a brief routine with a new toothbrush he’d loaded with gel toothpaste.
When she’d recovered and finished freshening up, the quiet consideration Cade had demonstrated—the persistently gentle way he’d taken care of her—made an impression that went so deep in her soul that her heart ached.
The most painful and trying times of her life, especially after the accident, she’d endured alone. The solitary circumstances of her life meant that once she was released from the hospital, she’d truly been on her own. She had neighbors and friends who sometimes ran errands and looked in on her, but never anyone who stayed and took care of her. Never anyone to relieve the loneliness and despair of long, gray days and painful, restless nights.
After what Beau had said, Cade must loathe the very sight of her. It said something admirable about his character that he was capable of treating her humanely, even though he must despise her.
She could barely stand and leaned heavily against the counter by the sink, her hands braced on the smooth surface.
“I never hurt them, Cade,” she got out, unable to stop the tears, though she did her best to keep the sobs quiet.
“Something’s wrong here,” he growled. “Let’s get you back to bed and we’ll figure it out later.”
He eased her away from the counter and leaned close so he could keep his arm around her waist and gently grip her left arm to support most of her weight.
“I caught you when you fainted and carried you in here, but will I hurt you if I pick you up now?”
“I can walk.”
He stopped them both. “That’s no answer.”
And then he released her arm and bent down to carefully pick her up. The sound of distress she made caused him to hesitate, as if he was afraid he’d hurt her.
“Let me walk. Please.”
But Cade must have decided that picking her up could be done without hurting her because he lifted her into his arms and held her securely against him. She looked up into his face to discern the reason for his calm kindnesses, but his expression was solemn and hard, though his dark eyes were surprisingly gentle.
His gaze shifted from hers and he started for the bedroom and the bed. He set her on the edge of the mattress, then reached behind her to get the blanket that was bunched and twisted.
“Go ahead and lie back.”
Colleen shook her head. “I’d like to sit up.”
Cade showed a trace of impatience as he straightened.
Her soft, “I’m fine now,” was a lie, but she was ashamed to let him treat her with such care when it was probably the last thing he might want to do.
He opened the blanket and wrapped it warmly around her. Then he moved away from the bed to drag a nearby wing chair closer. Without asking, he bundled her onto it. Colleen sank back, grateful for the cocooning feel of the big chair.
Cade straightened, but his dark gaze never left hers. Colleen flinched from his scrutiny.
“I’m sorry for the trouble. I’ll be fine in a while, then I can be on my way.”
His big voice was terse. “Just like that? Just leave?”
She looked at him warily, confused by his curtness. “I have no explanation for what Beau said. I don’t even know how I can defend myself. And he was so…afraid of me.” She glanced away and gripped the blanket to keep from crying. Her heart was breaking and she was too weary and wrung out to begin to make sense of it all.
“Soon as the doctor looks you over, Esmerelda will get you something to eat, then I’ll talk to Beau while you rest. You can have this room.”
Colleen shook her head. “I’ll stay at that motel back toward town.”
“Let’s see what the boy has to say first.”
She looked up at him. “I’d rather go before your talk. I can’t wait around hoping, only to have it go even more wrong later.”
“If you’re innocent, why would it go wrong?” His eyes had narrowed on her. He suspected her and it surprised her to realize he was trying to hold back judgment.
“I am innocent, but my word is already tarnished because Beau clearly believed what he said. It would be wrong for you to not take it seriously. It may not be possible to prove or disprove anything tonight. And because you can’t, it’s not responsible of either of us for me to stay around. You have my home address if someone needs to question me.”
“Even if everything checks out with the doctor, you’re in no shape to drive.”
And his mention of the doctor—again—made her feel worse. “Please call the doctor and cancel this. It’s not necessary.”
“Too late.”
Colleen shook her head, and tried not to flinch at the pain that caused her. “Then I’ll pay for it. This is a lot of fuss for nothing. I’m sorry you’ve gone to so much haste.”
She cut herself off, appalled at using the wrong word, then got out the right one. “ Trouble. Sorry for your trouble.”
Now she was emotional again. And exhausted and heartsick and scared. “I should have stayed in San Antonio and left things alone. They’ve been through so much, especially Beau. He shouldn’t have had to go through this, too.”
She paused and struggled to get control, desperate to hide the fact that she was heartbroken. “They looked beautiful and happy.” She looked up at him bravely. “You’ve done a good job with them and I’m very glad. Relieved.” Her voice broke on the word.
Cade stared. Colleen was distraught and clearly devastated. Instinct told him she was incapable of harming anyone, especially the kids. He already suspected why Beau had said what he had, but he needed to be certain.
Moment by moment, Colleen James was becoming more genuine to him. She was nothing like her selfish sister. In his experience with females, Colleen was a novelty. Simple, uncomplicated. And utterly in love with those kids. He suddenly realized that she was the kind of woman who would sacrifice herself for their well-being and happiness if need be, and Cade Chalmers found women like that irresistible.
The faint chime that carried down the hall in this wing of the house told him the doctor had arrived, so he started out of the room.
Colleen submitted to Dr. Amado’s brief examination. She knew she’d overdone it that day and the doctor gently chided her for it, though he pronounced her well enough, and readily agreed that her fainting spell was likely the result of being overtired then sustaining an emotional shock. She wasn’t comfortable discussing the reason for the shock with him and he didn’t press her.
He was kind and took his time, asking about her injuries and the types of physical therapy she’d done, then reminiscing about a couple of the surgeons she’d had. Somewhere along the line it occurred to her that he was stretching out the exam which, by itself, would have taken almost no time.
Just when she was trying to find a way to let him know she suspected him of doing just that, he smiled at her as if he’d read her mind.
“Cade wanted me to keep you busy in here for a while, but it’s been pleasant talking to you, Colleen. You’re lucky you’re doing so well, though it might not seem that way to you right now. Take care of yourself and keep up with the therapy. One day, this will all be in the past.” He leaned forward to touch her shoulder. “And she’ll live happily ever after.”
The small bit of whimsy made her force a small smile because that was the expected reaction. But she had little confidence in happily-ever-after, and today had only confirmed her pessimism.
“How much do I owe you, Doctor?”
“Cade already took care of it, and you’ll waste valuable energy arguing with him about it.” He gave her a stern look. “And you shouldn’t drive anywhere until at least tomorrow, after you’ve rested up. San Antonio is a long way off when you don’t feel well. As you probably discovered today. Go ahead and have a nap before supper. I’ll tell Cade to wake you in a couple hours.”
With that, he stood up from the chair he’d dragged over by hers and bid her a pleasant goodbye before he returned the chair to its place, got his medical bag and left the bedroom.
Once she was alone, Colleen made her way carefully to the hall door. San Antonio was indeed too far for her to drive now, but the motel she’d passed earlier that day was probably no more than five miles away. As soon as she found her cane and handbag, she’d be on her way.
Whatever Cade thought he could learn from Beau, Colleen knew nothing would solve Beau’s fear of her quickly. It was better for the boy and better for them all if she just gave up and got out. Hadn’t she known all along that this had been a wild risk, that it could go wrong?
Though she’d never imagined anyone but Cade Chalmers would be the cause of a new disaster, she shouldn’t have come here. As long as she hadn’t known for sure that she would never see the children again, she’d been able to have hope. Now she had nothing.
Cade watched Beau run out to join his sister on the back patio. He was on his trike in a flash, then pumped the pedals eagerly to race around the edges of the paving stones that formed the open-air patio that was closed in on three sides by the house.
Amy sat in the center of the patio beneath a leafy trellis in a patch of shade with a stack of oversize plastic blocks. She burst into a wide smile as she watched her brother pedal around on his “racetrack.”
The “man-to-man” talk he’d had with Beau cleared things up, but Cade felt fresh disappointment in his brother. Craig had told Beau that his Aunt Colleen had killed his mother and because Sharon’s death had devastated their little family, it meant that Colleen had also hurt Beau and Amy.
“Daddy said she hurt me and Amy most,” Beau had told him. And Craig had apparently told the boy that frequently. It would have been a lie shocking enough to forever silence the boy’s worried questions about Colleen after the wreck, and its repetition had also worked to put a fear of her in the kid. Colleen hadn’t deserved that.
Craig hadn’t been in his right mind when he’d lied to Beau. He’d become irrational about everything and tried to drown his bitterness in liquor, only to end up drowned himself.
The pain of his brother’s death a month ago was still a shock, still fresh and raw and agonizing. His pain was compounded by the fact that Craig had lied to him about Colleen from the first, then had deliberately damaged her in Beau’s eyes. The injustice of it stunned him.
His part in his brother’s lie made him feel sick. He’d easily believed Craig’s story about Colleen’s wishes after her sister’s death, so he’d not bothered to find out the truth for himself. He hadn’t known enough about her to question it. He’d based his opinion of her on his opinion of Sharon.
And even he had resented that Colleen had become such a frequent refuge for Sharon. It shamed him to realize that they’d left her lying in a hospital for months, severely injured and grieving her sister, with no family left to console or care for her. He and Craig had virtually abandoned her, and the remorse he felt for that pressed heavily on his conscience.
At least he’d done something to turn things around today. Finally. After he’d gotten answers from Beau, he’d explained to the boy that his daddy was wrong, the wreck had been an accident caused by someone else. And because Colleen hadn’t hurt their mother, she wasn’t at fault for the hurt to him and Amy.
As usual, he wasn’t certain he’d explained things well enough to the boy. Beau wouldn’t turn four for another few months, and though he was very bright, he was still a little boy.
He’d finally sent Beau out to play with the gentle encouragement to think about his aunt and see what he could remember about her.
After every one of Sharon’s frequent trips to San Antonio with the kids, Beau had come home full of happy stories about the things they’d done with Colleen, so the boy couldn’t have forgotten those. Those times, Cade had listened to Beau with only half an ear, more interested in the kid than in the aunt. But today changed all that. If Beau could remember, the problem would be solved.
He heard Doc Amado come down the hall outside his office. Cade turned from the patio doors, relieved to see the doctor’s calm smile, and eager to hear whatever doctor/patient privilege didn’t prohibit.
Colleen got her handbag and checkbook from the sofa, then found her cane on the table in the entry hall. By the time she stepped out of the house, her tired body felt as if she’d been beaten.
She saw the car that must belong to Dr. Amado, and carefully managed to walk to her rental. Once she opened the door and got in to put her seatbelt on, she was weary beyond belief.
Summoning strength from somewhere, she started the car and put it into gear to head down the long gravel drive to the highway. Because she was overtired, the ride to the motel seemed even more harrowing and exhausting than the trip from San Antonio, and it seemed to take forever to get there.
She was grateful when the desk clerk helped her carry her overnight case into the ground-floor motel room he’d rented to her. Once she dug out a tip and handed it over, she didn’t have enough energy to even undress. As soon as the clerk stepped into the hall and closed the door, she dragged down the coverlet and crawled painfully into bed.
Cade stood by impatiently as he waited for the desk clerk to unlock the door to Colleen’s room. They’d tried pounding on the door twice, but there’d been no response and Cade pictured one grim scenario after another.
Colleen had slipped out of the house and he hadn’t noticed until he’d gone to her room almost two hours later to look in on her. When Dr. Amado left his office to start back to town, Cade had gone out to be with the kids, never thinking Colleen wouldn’t be resting as the doctor had ordered.
The doctor had probably figured the same thing, and hadn’t realized the significance of her missing rental car. He might have assumed Cade had someone move it to the garage.
At last the door was open and the light was on. Colleen lay on the bed only partially covered, but still in her clothes. Her athletic shoes were still on her small feet, as if she’d either been too weary or too insensible to take them off. He could see from where he stood just inside the door with the clerk that she was breathing normally. He handed the clerk a large bill to both thank him and get rid of him.
“Thank you, Mr. Chalmers. You think she’s okay? Does she need an ambulance?”
“I don’t think so, Ronnie.” He glanced at the kid. “I’ll take it from here, thanks.”
The clerk got the message and left. Cade looked over at Colleen and walked to the bed.
One strip of Velcro on her shoes had pulled loose and was now stuck to the edge of the light blanket beneath the coverlet. The mussed bedding was evidence that Colleen might have been restless with pain, but too exhausted to fully wake up.
He reached down for the small sneakered foot that had got Velcroed to the blanket. He peeled open the other shoe tabs and took the shoe off. The other shoe came off just as quickly and he tossed both aside before he bent over her to straighten the covers.
It struck him that she slept like the kids, when they ran out of steam before a nap and fell instantly asleep wherever they were, still in their play clothes. The similarity made him feel tender toward her.
He remembered her look of confusion before she’d pulled out her checkbook and offered to write him a deposit check for a professional evaluation of her. She’d been as guileless as a child and clearly oblivious to his question about money. Instinct told him she hadn’t faked a second of it. He was still taken aback by that, but it fit with the way she suddenly reminded him of the kids.
Cade didn’t know how she should lie to minimize her discomfort, so he didn’t dare move her. She was now half on her left side, half on her stomach, and maybe she had some comfort in that position because she didn’t so much as twitch. Just like Beau and Amy when they were heavily asleep.
He hated to leave her alone here, but he had no right to take her back to the ranch when she desperately needed rest. His gaze caught on the car rental key next to the lamp on the bed table. He found a sheet of motel stationery in a drawer and scrawled a note that he propped up on the counter by the sink in the bathroom.
Cade took a last look at Colleen and decided she was sleeping naturally. Since she seemed to be all right, he couldn’t justify lingering. He had to get back to the kids so Esmerelda could go to a family wedding shower. The nanny wouldn’t be home tonight until long after the kids’ bedtime.
And though he was aware he’d trespassed on Colleen’s privacy, it made him uneasy to leave her. At least he’d solved the problem of her starting for San Antonio in the morning before he could get back here to talk to her. And that didn’t make him uneasy at all.
Muscle spasms brought Colleen awake that next morning. The battle was always to get out of bed and walk off the pain before the spasms worsened. If not for the pain, she might have lain in bed hours longer because waking up meant she had to face another hard, disappointing day.
Remembering what had happened with little Beau made this day stretch impossibly long before her. How many more difficult, joyless days could she face? So far they’d been a test of endurance as she’d slowly worked toward her goal.
But now the goal that had drawn her on when she was most discouraged and hurting, had been lost. She had to find a way to move forward without it, to fix something else in her mind that held the promise of home or belonging.
The world was a lonely, unloving place. She was a lonely woman with no one to love and no purpose beyond herself. Surely there was some way to connect, someone or some cause to pour herself into. But she was no good to anyone like this and it might be a long time before she was recovered enough to have anything of value to offer others.
Perhaps she’d take a few college classes in the fall. The trucking company whose driver was responsible for the crash had made a very substantial settlement offer to avoid going to court. She hadn’t accepted it yet, since she wanted to be certain it was enough to cover ongoing medical care. And she wasn’t yet certain of the level of permanent disability she’d have to cope with, or whether she’d need more education to do another job.
She’d worked as a bookkeeper, but so far, she hadn’t been released to go back to the office. And she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to do the job now. Recovering her math skills had been frustratingly slow because of her head injury. She couldn’t even reconcile her checkbook yet and sometimes she despaired of ever again making consistent sense of complicated math calculations.
It made her worry that she’d fail the college courses. Her confidence was shaky and she was still too fragile to face the challenge of retraining for a new job or learning something new.
Colleen leaned heavily on her cane and braced her weaker right hand against the wall, then along the desk and armoire as she walked painfully up and down the room to stop the spasms and reclaim some semblance of supple movement before she tried to undress and take a shower.
When she at last was able to walk into the bathroom, she caught sight of the note propped up beside the sink.
She instantly recognized the handwriting she’d never seen before only because it so clearly indicated the forceful personality of the man who’d written it.
I’ll return your keys at breakfast. Cade.
The peculiar sensation that went through her sent a tingle over her skin. Cade Chalmers had been in her room and she’d never known it. He’d come after her and taken something of hers hostage to enforce his will.
Colleen stared at the note. The sheer novelty of Cade’s minor pursuit was dangerous for someone like her. She’d moved in and out of the lives of most of the people around her all her life and was accustomed to the indifference of those who neither objected to her presence nor seemed particularly bothered by her absence. She was not a woman who tried to be noticed, either by her entrances or her exits or in her daily life, and she was too unremarkable to believe that would ever change, though she sometimes fantasized that it might.
Sharon had attracted all the attention there was to be had for the James sisters, and lackluster Colleen had existed at the edge of her sister’s beauty and sparkling personality without a single resentment or second thought.
Not that she hadn’t wished that, just once, someone would notice her and single her out for the attention Sharon received as naturally as air and sunshine.
Cade’s intention to keep her from leaving and this note were hardly a fulfillment of that silly, secret wish, but it was a nice surprise to have a small taste of what it might be like.
Suddenly annoyed with herself, Colleen set the note aside. It was more likely that she’d angered him by slipping away from the ranch. He was too domineering and probably too controlling to tolerate a nobody like her sidestepping his wishes.
And nothing could have happened to explain or resolve Beau’s feelings toward her this soon. It was even possible that Cade would have her investigated for child abuse. His taking her car keys had to be the result of his decision to either start the wheels in motion for that or to officially issue a stern edict to her in person that would forever forbid her access to Beau and Amy.
Suddenly so disheartened and depressed that she could barely move, Colleen had to force herself to shower and dress to prepare for a new disaster.
CHAPTER THREE
CADE knocked briskly on the motel room door and waited. When Colleen opened it, she looked flustered and not ready for company. She’d showered and dressed and put on a touch of makeup, but her rapidly drying hair was proof she hadn’t tamed it yet. As he’d suspected, without some kind of hair goo, her hair stood straight out all over her head just like Beau’s and Amy’s had as babies before it got long enough to lie flat.
Obviously, a night’s sleep had done her good. She looked fresher than she had yesterday, though there was still a pained weariness about her and he couldn’t have missed the anxiety in her eyes.
She didn’t greet him and he said nothing to her, but she stepped back and he walked into the room. He could feel her uncertainty, her wariness, and he got the impression that she was terrified of being further hurt and traumatized.
“H-how are Beau and Amy?”
The self-conscious way she asked about them suggested that the only topic that would ever be truly important or significant to her was the kids and how they were. Was that true? But one look at her face told him it was. She was deeply uneasy, which told him how worried she still was about Beau’s reaction to her yesterday.
“They’re fine. Playing on the patio with Connie when I left.” He paused when he saw that she was alert to his mention of a stranger’s name. “She’s the nanny.”
Colleen glanced away and gave a stiff nod. “Did you have a chance to talk to Beau?”
Now he heard the faint tremor in her voice and he was blunt to spare her further suspense. “Craig convinced Beau that Sharon’s death hurt them all, Beau and Amy most. Beau was never saying that you did him or Amy any physical harm.”
Colleen’s gaze veered back to his and held. The hope he saw in her now touched him, so he told her the rest. “Craig was bitter when Sharon left and then went crazy when she was killed. You were handy to blame.”
He felt a pinprick of disloyalty to Craig, as if he’d switched sides to stand with an outsider. And a female outsider at that. But the truth was, Colleen James was one female who deserved to have someone on her side. He hoped he was right, but God help her if he wasn’t.
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Susan Fox
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современные любовные романы
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Cade Chalmers knew he was playing with fire by attempting to live under the same roof as Colleen. But he was desperate: Cade needed to share custody of his orphaned niece and nephew with her. The trouble was, each time he was alone with Colleen for even a minute, they clashed…It wasn′t just antagonism–it was explosive attraction. Cade decided he simply had to bite the bullet–the best thing for the children would be for him and Colleen to marry. It was a purely common-sense proposal, but the result was fireworks!