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The Billionaire in Disguise
Soraya Lane
“So much for staying out of trouble…” Nathan Bell left his high-flying London life for the rolling green hills of New Zealand to shake off the shadows of his past and start again—under the radar. He should not be getting distracted by a feisty blonde who spells nothing but trouble! Jessica Falls has her own reasons for keeping things with Nathan commitment-free…yet every kiss erodes her defenses. And when she discovers how much pain he’s hiding, Jessica knows only she has the power to heal her broken billionaire!


“If it comes to selling, if it’s what you have to do, I’ll buy the place myself.”
She laughed. “Yeah, right.”
Nathan cleared his throat and looked up, not wanting to sound arrogant but needing her to know it wasn’t an empty offer. That he could buy it tomorrow and come up with the cash immediately if he had to. “I’m serious.”
Her laughter died, the uneasy smile wiped from her face. She studied him, eyes no longer full of tears—her gaze was serious now. “You could actually buy this place, just like that?” she asked.
He shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. A year ago, hell, a few months ago, he’d have had no problem letting anyone know what he could afford, but since coming here … he just didn’t want to be that guy anymore. Staying on the farm had given him the break he’d needed, and it had also given him a fresh start, even if he was going to have to face reality and head home one day soon.
“Yeah, I could. But if I did I’d need a manager, so there’s no chance I’d evict you.”
Jessica smiled, but he knew she wasn’t sure what to say or how to take his words.
The Billionaire in Disguise
Soraya Lane

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Writing for Mills & Boon is truly a dream come true for SORAYA LANE. An avid book-reader and writer since her childhood, Soraya describes becoming a published author as “the best job in the world”, and hopes to be writing heart-warming, emotional romances for many years to come.
Soraya lives with her own real-life hero on a small farm in New Zealand, surrounded by animals and with an office overlooking a field where their horses graze.
For more information about Soraya and her upcoming releases visit her at her website, www.sorayalane.com (http://www.sorayalane.com), her blog, www.sorayalane.blogspot.com (http://www.sorayalane.blogspot.com), or follow her at www.facebook.com/SorayaLaneAuthor (http://www.facebook.com/SorayaLaneAuthor)
I am so fortunate to have an amazing support network,
and that includes some very special author friends.
From daily e-mail chats, text messages and writing
sprints, it all means so much to me.
Thank you Natalie Anderson, Nicola Marsh,
Yvonne Lindsay and Tessa Radley, for your constant
encouragement, support and friendship.
Contents
Cover (#u643b9a6a-bdfb-5d08-b150-9429fa93963d)
Excerpt (#u179858b1-7413-58e1-bae8-2dd86bc1302e)
Title Page (#u662ed8fc-12b1-5179-be48-e746f86bc0f8)
About the Author (#ub707fdea-9d18-5edf-841f-522cd9a5cddf)
Dedication (#u60936012-cdc8-51d9-8d7d-4a52e292cd7b)
CHAPTER ONE (#ue00269d0-d989-5c04-aba5-5bfb66149f7d)
CHAPTER TWO (#u1172211b-100c-5beb-99dc-a2883c6f98ca)
CHAPTER THREE (#u2fbdc70f-8fef-5e9e-8c0a-518f0a17947d)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_0333c792-e411-52b6-a133-5b91b4398b39)
JESSICA FALLS LEANED against the wooden fence and stared out at the land. She hadn’t been home in almost two years, but there was nothing about her surroundings that wasn’t familiar to her. The horses grazing in the fields, the smell of the pine trees, the big house behind her—they were all things ingrained in her memory that she would never forget, no matter how long she lived.
But nothing was like it used to be. She wiped away tears that had escaped from the corner of her eye, despite her best efforts to blink them away, and forced herself to turn and go back to the house. She’d only just arrived back, but instead of going straight in she’d walked around outside and done her best to ignore reality. That she wasn’t going to have to live in the house alone, that her grandfather wasn’t really gone, that she hadn’t just lost everything that mattered to her.
Jessica moved slowly up the veranda steps, stopping when she reached the door and taking a deep breath. She eventually put her key in the lock and pushed the door open, listening to it creak as she stared into the dark hallway. She picked up one of her suitcases and wheeled it in behind her, moving slowly to the bottom of the stairs. It was quiet, too silent for her liking, but it was something she was going to have to get used to.
“Hello?”
She jumped and turned at the sound of a deep voice, not expecting anyone else to be on the property, let alone at her front door.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Jessica locked eyes with a man leaning against her doorjamb. Who the hell was he? She slipped her hand into her back pocket, feeling for her phone, ready to dial for help if she needed it.
“Ah, can I help you?” She didn’t care how handsome the guy was—she didn’t want company right now, and definitely not from some stranger.
“I saw you arrive before and I wanted to say hi.”
Jessica stood still for a moment, silent, before she realized who he was and felt like a complete idiot. She prized her fingers from her phone and pushed her hands into her pockets instead.
“You’re the guy renting the cottage, right?” she asked, wishing she hadn’t glared at him like he was some kind of intruder. Her granddad’s lawyer had told her all about the guest staying on the grounds, and she’d forgotten about him. “The jet lag must be getting to me.”
His smile was genuine when he flashed it, his eyes crinkling ever so at the corners to match the upturn of his mouth.
“Understandable. I only knew Jock a couple of months and I’m already missing him like hell, so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now.”
Jessica sighed, not ready to talk about it. She’d just traveled all the way from London without sleeping a wink, left her best horse behind without knowing if she’d ever be able to afford to bring him home, and everything was fast catching up on her. Not to mention the fact that she’d missed the funeral service of the one person in the world she really cared about, because she’d been stuck in a hospital on the other side of the world. Her granddad had been her only family since her mom had died, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was an orphan now. And the fact she hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye to him.
“Is there anything I can do for you? I’m not really sure what your arrangement was with my granddad, but you’re welcome to stay for as long as you want.”
It wasn’t that she particularly wanted anyone hanging around, but from the information she’d received to date, she was going to need the income from the cottage just to keep paying the bills. And from what she’d heard, this guy was paying a small fortune in rent. He wasn’t exactly hard to look at, either—brown eyes flecked with gold, dark hair that was a little too long and a smile that made her want to stare at his mouth way longer than she should have.
“I won’t get in your way, I just wanted to say hi,” he told her. “I’m Nathan.”
“Jessica,” she replied, holding out her hand and pressing her palm to his. “But I’m guessing you already knew that.”
“Not a day went past that Jock didn’t talk about you, so yeah.” He pushed his hands into his jean pockets and took a step backward. “I’ll see you around, Jessica. Take care.”
Jessica smiled and raised one hand in a half wave, wishing he hadn’t just surprised her so soon after arriving. Any other day she’d have been better prepared, would have remembered her manners and invited him in for a coffee just like her grandfather would have, but today was tough. Today was about coming to terms with losing everything. Tomorrow she’d try to start rebuilding, and figure out how the hell she was going to save the only place that had ever been home to her. Trouble was, she was used to being a loner, so it was weird having someone she didn’t know staying on the property.
She watched him go, the casual way he sauntered off toward the stables, hands still thrust in his pockets, as if he didn’t have a worry in the world. Everything felt like it was crashing around her, but she had to stay strong, needed to hold herself together, because that was what her granddad would have expected, and she didn’t want to let him down.
* * *
Nathan Bell gave the horse a pat and dropped to the ground, nudging his hat down lower over his head, crossing his ankles and shutting his eyes. The sun was warm but not too hot, and he was feeling lazy as hell. He knew Patch wouldn’t walk off on him, and he just needed to try to catch up on some sleep. Since Jock had died, his insomnia had come back, and right now he was beat.
He was always worse at night, the memories of finding his wife, the weight of what had happened, always seeking him out in the dark. During the day, he usually managed to keep them at bay, but forgetting what had happened was impossible.
He’d just drifted off, was falling into the sleep he’d been craving, when he received a sharp kick in the leg.
“Ouch!”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Nathan pushed his hat up and found himself staring straight up at Jessica. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was she doing? Her eyes looked wild, face mad as hell. At least it took his mind off his nightmares.
“I was sleeping, but I’m guessing you already figured that out,” he said, drawing one of his legs up and rubbing the spot where she’d kicked him. He had no idea what he’d done to make her so angry between now and when he’d met her.
“I mean what the hell are you doing here? And with my granddad’s horse?”
She was seriously pissed with him, that much was obvious, and he doubted he was going to get back to sleep anytime soon. Nathan tried not to smile—she’d looked pretty when he’d met her at the house, even with her tearstained cheeks, but she was gorgeous as sin all fired up and angry.
“Jock used to bring me here, as soon as he’d taught me to ride,” Nathan told her, wishing she’d back a step up instead of standing over him and glaring like he’d just stolen something from her. “And the last few weeks before he passed away he wasn’t up to riding, so he asked me to take Patch out for him.”
“I don’t believe you.” Her tone was cool as ice.
Nathan wasn’t going to engage, not when she was so mad with him. He stood up, reaching for her hand then stopping when she snatched it away before he even came close to connecting with her.
“I know that you’re hurting right now, but I’m not the one you should be angry at. I get that this was a special spot for you and Jock, because he told me so, and if he were here right now he’d tell you himself that you’re acting crazy. We rode up here almost every day together.”
A look passed over her face that he couldn’t read, but the anger disappeared from her eyes like a light going out. He understood that the place was special to her—the wooded hill area tucked away from the rest of the property was like a little slice of paradise hidden away from the world. Somewhere she was obviously used to enjoying in privacy. But he hadn’t done anything wrong, and grieving or not, he wasn’t going to let her take it out on him. If there was one thing her granddad had taught him, it was that just because you were grieving you didn’t have leave to behave badly.
“He told you that?” Her voice was softer now. “That it was our special place?”
“Yeah, he did,” Nathan replied. “Now why don’t you sit down and we can talk, if you’re done being angry with me?”
She didn’t apologize but she did look guilty, and he wasn’t going to rub salt into open wounds. He knew what it was like to lose someone.
“I didn’t think anyone else had been here, which I guess is kind of stupid,” Jessica said, wiping the corners of her eyes as she sat down across from him amongst the pine needles. “We started coming here when I was a girl, and it was kind of our thing. He always rode Patch, and I was on my old pony, Whiskers.”
Nathan nodded, sitting down beside her and stretching his legs back out. He watched as she grimaced, obviously trying to make herself comfortable, but he didn’t say anything.
“I hear you had a pretty good hideout, too. Something about a fort that you thought your mom never knew about up in the trees.”
Jessica met his gaze, laughed softly and shook her head. “Now I know you’re not lying,” she said, “because I still believe that no one else knew about that little hideaway.”
He held his hand to his chest. “Cross my heart, I won’t tell another soul.”
She leaned back and stared at the horses, and Nathan did the same.
“Patch must be so old now. He was perfect for my granddad, like they understood exactly what the other was thinking. I’ve never seen anyone else ride him, not ever.” She sighed. “That’s why it hit me so bad, seeing you. He’s been on the farm since I was a little girl.”
Nathan chuckled. “Yeah, which is why he’s perfect for me. He’s content just to take things slow and teach a newbie the ropes.” He paused, watched her, wished he didn’t feel so uncomfortable being so close to her. “We came up here a lot, the two of us, just to ride and chat, talk about anything and everything. It was as good for me as it was for the old man.”
Jessica groaned when she turned to her side, and he waited a second before saying anything more. It was none of his business, but he’d heard so much about her, knew about what had happened, and she was clearly in pain. Jock had been a good friend to him, a mentor, and he missed him more than she could ever imagine. Which meant that he wanted to help Jessica, if he could get past his own demons long enough to do so.
“Sounds like you were close friends. I shouldn’t have reacted so badly. I’m sorry.”
Nathan frowned at the grimace she was sporting. “From what Jock said, you’re supposed to be resting for the next few months, right? As in no getting back in the saddle?” Maybe he wasn’t so good at keeping his thoughts to himself.
Jessica didn’t shoot him the dagger-filled look he’d been expecting, but she did meet his gaze. “It’s stupid, I know, but I just needed to get out in the fresh air and ride. Take it easy, just not in the way my doctor prescribed.”
“It’s not stupid to want to ride, but you need to let your body heal.” He paused. “After what you went through...”
“You know all about my fall? What happened?” she asked.
He nodded. There was no point pretending otherwise. “The whole country knows all about it. They played the footage from the Badminton Horse Trials over and over on the news, the headlines were screaming about the downfall of New Zealand’s eventing golden girl and the best horse this country has ever produced.”
Fresh tears were visible in her eyes now, ready to fall. Maybe a simple yes would have been enough—he knew how much she loved her horse, from what Jock had told him, and the equine’s career was most definitely over, forever, even if hers wasn’t.
“And now my horse is stuck back in the UK, and I’m all useless and back here on my own.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I wish I’d never taken him over, that I’d just campaigned a European horse. I know it sounds stupid, but he’s the most incredible animal and I miss him.’
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Jessica shrugged and stood up, grimacing as she moved. Nathan jumped to his feet and held out a hand to help her, which she took, taking a moment to steady herself. The warm touch of her palm gliding into place alongside his took him by surprise, even though he was the one to initiate it.
“Just a leg up into the saddle would be great,” she told him, stopping to give Patch a pat before reaching for the reins of her own mount. “God only knows if I’ll ever be able to get up from the ground again on my own.”
Nathan bent and took her knee into his palm, counted to three then hoisted her up in the air. She landed gracefully in the saddle, her back beautiful and straight despite how much pain she must have been in. He knew she’d had a back injury, as well as doing some pretty major damage to one of her legs, but he didn’t want to pry.
“Nathan, I’m sorry for the way I acted before. I’m not usually so horrible.”
He chuckled. “Good, because otherwise I’d have to think your grandfather was a liar. He made you out to be the perfect granddaughter.”
Jessica laughed and he found himself grinning straight back at her. There was something so broken about her, so fragile, but at the same time seeing her sit up there in the saddle showed how strong she was, too. She was torn apart, emotionally and physically, but definitely not broken. Kind of like him. Only being around her was forcing him to come out of his shell, to be the stronger one, when recently he’d felt so lost, so weak.
“What’s that old saying about rose-tinted glasses?” she asked, still smiling.
Nathan laughed. “Mind if I ride back down with you, or do you want some time alone?”
“Sure thing. It’s about time I started saying yes to company instead of pretending like I’m better off on my own.”
Nathan tried to mount as gracefully as he could and failed terribly, but thankfully Jessica was either too polite to say anything or she actually hadn’t noticed. He might be able to stay in the saddle, but that was about the extent of it.
“Not bad getting to ride alongside world eventing’s number two rider,” he joked.
“Well it’s a title I’m fast going to lose, so you’d better take the chance while you can.”
She was attempting to make fun of what happened, he got that, but he knew she was heartbroken over the accident. Jock had opened up to him about a lot of things, especially about Jessica, and he knew he had to tread carefully. The only thing her grandfather hadn’t made clear was how beautiful she was in real life—the photos in the media didn’t do her justice. Every time he’d seen her interviewed she’d either been wearing a helmet or had her hair pulled back into a tight bun, dressed in formal riding attire. But with her long blond hair loose, and wearing jeans and a T-shirt, she looked like a different woman. Only he had to keep reminding himself who she was, that she was Jock’s granddaughter. Nathan wasn’t ready for anything more than a bit of fun, and that wasn’t a category that Jessica Falls belonged in. Not ever. If he hadn’t been so close to her grandfather, he would have let that be her decision, but it wasn’t. Jock had been too important to him, which meant he wasn’t going to even think about Jessica like that.
And the truth was, Nathan didn’t know if he’d ever be able to commit to any kind of relationship again after what had happened to his wife, which meant nothing could ever happen between them. But it had been a while since he’d had any female company whatsoever, and Jessica wasn’t exactly hard to be around, or to look at, even if she was grieving. And looking was entirely different from letting anything happen.
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_a91bd48c-6ddb-582f-8c76-f85831c6169b)
“SO TELL ME what you’re doing in New Zealand.”
Jessica slowly rubbed her horse down, paying careful attention to brushing his sweat marks. She would usually have been more vigorous, but her back was starting to ache and she didn’t want to push her body too hard, especially since the most strenuous activity she was supposed to be doing was moving from the sofa to the kitchen. The pain was bearable most of the time, unless she overdid it, and then it would hit her like a ton of bricks.
She glanced over at Nathan, watching as he stroked Patch’s face. The horse was leaning in to him like they were old friends, and she felt terrible all over again for being so rude to him when she’d found him on the trail. She’d had no right to accuse him of...she didn’t even know what.
“I needed some time out from my job and I’d heard how beautiful it was here,” he said, looking up but still scratching Patch.
“So you just jumped on a plane and ended up in New Zealand?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, something like that.”
She’d been joking, but it seemed she wasn’t far off the mark. “So is it everything it’s made out to be?”
Nathan put down the brush he’d been holding and walked out of the box stall. “I did the whole touristy thing when I first arrived, but then I found this place a few months ago and I still haven’t left.”
Jessica untied her horse and nodded to Nathan to do the same with Patch.
“So you’ve been holed up here with just an old man and some horses for company?” she joked.
Nathan laughed. “Something like that. I’ve been working my way through a stack of DVDs, staying out of trouble.”
“Sounds like exactly what I need to be doing.”
“Says the woman who’s out riding horses instead of resting up on doctor’s orders.”
She smiled as they walked through the barn leading the horses out into the open. It was nice to just chat with someone, feel relaxed, even if she did feel guilty for being happy without her granddad around. Her emotions were all over the show right now, and so was her mood, but there was something about Nathan that was drawing her to him.
After letting the horses loose and watching them trot across the field, Jessica and Nathan walked side by side in the direction of the barn again, and Jessica slung her halter and lead rope over her shoulder. At least being home had calmed her, made her feel connected to something again. She was always more settled when she was around horses.
“So it’s a different pace of life for you here?” she asked.
“Yeah, you could say that.” He looked across at her, his expression more serious, the smile that had braced his lips earlier completely gone. “I had a job I thought I loved, but I was so caught up in working every waking hour that I lost sight of what was important.”
Jessica sensed a sadness within him, something that she couldn’t quite figure out. There had to be a reason he’d flown halfway across the world, just leaving behind whatever he had in the UK, which meant she was either right about him hurting, or he’d done something he regretted. Or maybe she was just overthinking the whole situation.
“What type of work did you do?” Jessica asked.
“I was a banker,” he said. “I managed a private hedge fund, and I was more married to my work than I was to...” His voice trailed off. “To anything else in my life.”
She waited for him to continue but he didn’t, leaving her wondering exactly what he was referring to.
“Are you expecting anyone?” he asked.
Jessica glanced toward the driveway, saw an unfamiliar black vehicle approaching the house. Great.
“I have a feeling that’s the lawyer,” she said, fighting the urge to get back on a horse and flee in the opposite direction. “Which means I have to face up to reality instead of hiding away for the next few days.” She hadn’t expected him to turn up on her doorstep quite so promptly—a day to settle in would have been nice.
“Anything I can do?” The concern in Nathan’s voice was matched by his gaze, his bright blue eyes telling her that he genuinely cared.
“How about you come over for a drink tonight.” The words left her mouth before she’d even had a moment to think.
The worry lines turned into smile wrinkles when he looked at her this time. “Why don’t I grab something for us to eat and bring it over? You can’t have much in the pantry, and I doubt you’ll have time to get groceries. Lawyers take forever to go over wills.”
Jessica braved a smile. It wasn’t the will she was worried about—she knew her granddad had left her everything—it was the debts she’d inherited that the lawyer would be wanting her to deal with. Debts he’d been more than eager to contact her about even when she’d been in hospital.
But she did kind of want to see Nathan again. “Dinner sounds great.” Her stomach was rumbling just at the thought of food, even though she’d hardly been interested in eating since her accident, and then since Jock had died.
Nathan touched her shoulder, tentatively, his touch light, as if he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do or not. “Don’t let him push you around, and if you need a sounding board, I’m right here.”
“Thanks,” she said, fighting the urge to shrug his hand away and at the same time wishing he’d never take it off her.
“Your granddad and I talked about everything, so if you need someone, it’s not an empty offer.” He smiled at her. “You can trust me.”
Jessica wanted to know more, wanted to know why and how he’d become so close to her only family member in the months before he’d died, but now wasn’t the time. Tonight she’d try to find out everything she needed to know.
“See you around six?” she asked.
Nathan nodded and withdrew his hand, shoving it in his pocket instead and leaving her wishing he was still touching her, that the heat from his palm was still resting on her shoulder. He might be a stranger, but the physical contact had been oddly comforting.
“See you then,” he called out.
Jessica walked briskly toward the house, eyes trained on the man now standing at her front door, waiting. She didn’t know why, but she had a strange feeling about the lawyer she’d only ever spoken to on the phone. It was an uneasy notion, a niggle of worry in her mind that she couldn’t shake, and she needed to forget all about her curiosity about Nathan and focus on her granddad’s state of affairs.
The farm meant everything to her, and if it came to it she wasn’t going to give up the property without one hell of a fight. It was her last tie to her family—to her mom and now her granddad—and that made it the most important thing in her life.
* * *
“So you’re telling me that my only option is to sell this place?”
Jessica stared at the lawyer, listening to what he was saying but finding it almost impossible to process. She was trying hard not to cry, refusing to admit that there was no other option, but from what he was saying it was almost impossible not to admit defeat. Her entire body was numb.
“Your granddad didn’t make the wisest decisions over the past year, Ms. Falls. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.”
His tone was grave, but he hardly met her gaze, wouldn’t hold eye contact for more than a moment and she didn’t like him at all now. She also didn’t believe that Jock would have left her in such a bad financial position, that the man she’d spent her entire life looking up to could have lost so much in such a short time. It just wasn’t right, especially given how cautious and successful he’d been in the past.
“And you’re certain there hasn’t been, I don’t know, some sort of mistake? That there isn’t other property or money?” She stood, fidgeting too much to stay seated. “There must be something, or at least some sort of explanation.”
Jessica turned to look out the window, looking at the land that she was going to be forced to part with. She had nothing—no job, no future doing what she’d trained for her entire life, and now no inheritance. Every horse, every blade of grass, everything about the farm meant more to her than she could ever explain to anyone. Except for her granddad. He’d turn in his grave if he knew she was being forced to sell, which was why nothing about this situation seemed right to her.
“Ms. Falls?”
She was about to turn, to focus her attention back on the lawyer, when a movement caught her eye. Nathan. Her mysterious guest was crossing the yard, heading for her back door rather than the main front one, and he was carrying two large brown paper bags. She smiled for the first time since she’d stepped inside. If anyone could help her understand what had happened in the weeks and months before her granddad had passed, it was Nathan. She knew they’d been close, and from what she’d learned today, they’d spent a lot of time together.
“I need a few days to process all this,” Jessica said as she turned, squaring her shoulders and staring the lawyer straight in the eyes. She could have been imagining it, but she was certain he looked uncomfortable.
“My advice would be to list the property for sale immediately and consider how to mitigate your losses.”
She gave a curt nod and planted her hands on the desk, the coolness of the oak beneath her palms helping to calm her, taking strength from the piece of furniture she’d so often seen her grandfather sit behind.
“Once again, I appreciate your advice, but I’ll be taking a few days to consider my options.”
The more she could find out from Nathan, the better. But that wasn’t the only reason she wanted to see him. There was something about the man that intrigued her, something unassuming about the stranger who’d befriended her granddad that made her want to know more. He was hiding something behind his quiet smile, she just knew it, and she wanted to know what it was.
“I’ll see myself out,” she heard the lawyer mutter, clearly frustrated with her. He’d probably expected her to admit defeat and sign anything he waved in front of her.
Jessica squared her shoulders, even though her back ached from simply standing so straight after she’d been on her feet all day. Men like this lawyer might think she was weak, that she’d been through so much recently that she’d lost her strength, but mentally she was more determined than ever. To get back in the saddle—which she’d already done—to compete again one day, and most of all to make her grandfather proud and continue his legacy. So she wasn’t going to let this lawyer, or any other man, walk all over her. She’d made her mind up years ago that she was in charge of her own destiny, and she needed to hold on to that belief no matter what life threw her way.
“How long did you say you’d been working for Jock?” she asked, her tone cool.
He stopped, briefcase clasped in one hand, the other fisted at his side. She didn’t trust him at all. Her grandfather hadn’t acquired this farm and a handful of commercial investments without being smart.
“Ah, for some time now. I’d have to consult my records to be absolutely certain.”
She nodded and watched him leave. If her intuition was right, she shouldn’t trust this man or anyone else until she’d figured out what her grandfather’s state of mind had been before he died. If there was one thing he’d taught her, it was to trust only herself in life.
* * *
Nathan had seen Jessica in the office when he’d walked past, but he hadn’t acknowledged her, instead letting himself in and sitting in the kitchen so he wasn’t disturbing her. The oversize wooden table was bathed in sunlight, and he was nursing a beer when Jessica finally walked in to join him. He’d thought about not turning up, or leaving a note with the take-out food and leaving, but he’d made himself stay. It was time to start facing up to reality and stop hiding away, even if that did seem like mission impossible to him right now.
“I hope you don’t mind,” he said, raising the glass bottle.
Her smile reminded him of a look his wife had once given him, years ago, when they’d first met, and it surprised him by making him smile straight back at her. She looked a combination of exhausted and determined, but she also looked happy to see him.
“You can drink the lot,” she told him, opening and shutting the fridge, then disappearing from sight. She reemerged with a bottle of wine. “This is more my taste.”
He watched as she searched a few drawers for an opener.
“I think you’ll find it’s a screw top,” he said in a low voice, grimacing when she glared at him.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jessica frowned then shook her head. “I can’t even open a bottle of wine. This is definitely not my day. Un-freaking-believable.”
Nathan jumped up, leaving his beer on the table, and leaned over the counter to take the bottle from her. Her determined look had been replaced with one that verged on defeated, and he didn’t like it. Whatever the lawyer had said had really taken it out of her. He knew what defeated felt like, and it wasn’t an emotion he wanted her to experience.
“Bad meeting?” he asked.
“The worst,” she admitted, turning away only to reach for a glass. She set it on the counter. “I’ve basically spent the last couple of hours listening to some idiot lawyer try to tell me that the one person I admired most in the world, who’s looked after me my entire life, had lost his marbles. Either that or he wasn’t the astute investor I believed him to be—only I don’t buy that theory for a second.”
“That’s rubbish,” Nathan shot straight back, anger flaring within him. “I might have only known Jock a short time, but he was as sharp as a tack right to the end. That makes both theories impossible.”
“Really?” Jessica asked, taking the glass of wine he’d poured and taking a long, slow sip. “Do you honestly believe that? You’re not just saying it to make me feel better?”
Nathan shook his head and moved back to the table, motioning for her to join him. Her gold-flecked eyes were wide again, locked on his as she crossed the room and sat across from him. She tucked her long hair behind her ears, one hand on the glass, the other palm down on the table. He forced himself to glance away, out the window, to stop from staring. There was no denying she was beautiful, even if he was trying not to think about her like that—she was strikingly feminine yet at the same time fiercely strong. And something about that drew him to her as much as it made him want to walk straight out the door.
“Jock was old, but his memory never wavered. We must have spent hours talking every day, and if we weren’t just shooting the breeze talking, he was teaching me about horses,” he told her.
She sighed and took another sip. “So you’re telling me I shouldn’t believe the lawyer? That I could be right?”
“I’m telling you that you need to trust yourself.” Nathan leaned forward and nudged the bags of food in Jessica’s direction. “So how about we eat and you tell me what this so-called lawyer’s been saying.” He was pleased they had something to focus on while they ate—it took some of the pressure off.
Her gaze shifted, moving to the takeout he’d brought. “How many dishes did you order?”
Nathan grinned straight back at her. “I had no idea what you liked, so I went for Chinese and chose a little of everything.”
Jessica was still smiling when she started poking around, taking cartons out and looking inside. “I’m thinking we’ll both have enough leftovers to keep us in food for a week.”
He liked her easy smile, the way she’d gone from not trusting him to confiding in him, and it was as if he already knew her. After hearing so much about her from Jock, he’d been wanting to meet her, and that was before he’d realized how gorgeous she would be. Not to mention he’d been expecting someone a little more...broken. Jessica might be in pain, might have almost died and ended her career, but she didn’t look anything close to broken to Nathan. The fiery blonde was all bent out of shape over whatever the lawyer had said to her, and he wanted to know more. Because if he could help, there was nothing he wouldn’t do, not when it meant helping the granddaughter of the man who’d brought him back from the brink and made him believe he at least had a future ahead of him. He had a long way to go, but life wasn’t as dark as it had seemed when he’d first arrived.
She held up the throwaway chopsticks and broke them apart then pulled a lid off one dish, expertly helping herself to noodles like she was as used to using them as he was a knife and fork.
“So what do you think of this place?”
Her question took him by surprise. “I wouldn’t have stayed so long if I didn’t love it.”
Her sigh made him look up, forgetting what he’d been about to eat.
“Why?” he asked.
She met his gaze, eyes dull as she opened her mouth to answer him. He tried not to stare at her lips, at the way they moved when she blew out a breath.
“Because from what the lawyer’s telling me, it’ll be on the market before the end of the month, so I might need a buyer. You interested?”
He put down his chopsticks. “You’re serious?” He’d realized things were bad, that Jock’s affairs obviously hadn’t been left in order, but to sell the place?
“Deadly,” she answered straight back.
He had no idea what to say. “You’re sure that’s something you have to consider?”
“Honestly?” She shook her head, tears making her big brown eyes look like they were swimming. “I hope not, but from what I heard tonight I don’t know what else I’ll be able to do.”
Nathan picked up a spring roll between his fingers and dipped it in sauce, slowly eating it as he digested her words.
“If it comes to selling, if it’s what you have to do, I’ll buy the place myself.”
She laughed. “Yeah, right.”
Nathan cleared his throat and looked up, not wanting to sound arrogant but needing her to know it wasn’t an empty offer. That he could buy it tomorrow and come up with the cash immediately if he had to. “I’m serious.”
Her laughter died, the uneasy smile wiped from her face. She studied him, eyes no longer full of tears—her gaze was serious now. “You could actually buy this place, just like that?” she asked.
He shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. A year ago, hell, a few months ago, he’d have had no problem letting anyone know what he could afford, but since coming here...he just didn’t want to be that guy anymore. Staying on the farm had given him the break he’d needed, and it had also given him a fresh start, even if he was going to have to face reality and head home one day soon.
“Yeah, I could. But if I did I’d need a manager, so there’s no chance I’d evict you.”
Jessica smiled, but he knew she wasn’t sure what to say or how to take his words.
“But it won’t come to that, so don’t even worry,” he assured her.
She took another mouthful of noodles and nodded, but he sensed the change in her, as if she was suddenly viewing him as a stranger when before she’d treated him like an ally. Money attracted a lot of women—the wrong women—but he doubted Jessica fell into that category, even if she was desperate for an injection of cash to save her assets. If she did, her eyes would have lit up, her smile would have become wider—he knew all the signs—and yet she’d looked more alarmed than anything else. She could just be good at hiding her emotions, but she’d been so honest about her grief that he doubted it.
“So you said you’re a banker, when you’re not traveling?”
“I was, back in London,” he said, taking the lid off another dish. “I managed a private hedge fund.”
“Ahh, I see,” she said, like finding out what he did told her everything she needed to know.
It felt like a lifetime ago to him, and in some ways it was. The guy he was here was nothing like the man he’d been for most of his adult life.
“So will you go back? To being a banker?”
It was something he’d thought about a lot lately, and he still wasn’t sure. “That life took everything from me,” he said, pushing the memories away that were trying to claw their way back in, the memories that so often took hold of him and refused to give him any relief. “I need to go back at some point, but right now I’m happy pretending to be someone else.”
The smile she gave him this time lit her eyes again, as if she was happy with his answer. “So does the person you are here have time to help me figure out what the hell happened to my inheritance?”
Nathan grinned. It had been a long time since he’d hung out and chatted to a beautiful woman—he couldn’t even recall the last time he’d chilled out and eaten take-out food with his wife. This was the type of evening he’d missed out on over the past decade, what he’d thought was overrated. Now he knew otherwise. And it had also been a while since he’d been able to really use his brain, and if he was honest with himself he kind of missed that part of his old life.
“It just so happens that I’m great with numbers, so if you need me to look at any transactions, bank accounts, anything, I’m your guy.”
At times like this, he knew his old lifestyle hadn’t been worth what he’d lost, the memories he’d have to live with for the rest of his life. He’d tried so hard to have everything, and all he’d done was lose what he’d spent years striving for. Jessica was like a breath of fresh air, even if she was in need of his help. So long as he kept reminding himself that she could be only a friend, he’d be just fine. Because not only was she Jock’s granddaughter, she was also an attractive woman, and part of being away from home was about keeping his life complication free.
Jessica was vulnerable right now, and he wasn’t going to take advantage of that. Although if there was something he could do to help her, he would. “So tell me what the lawyer said.”
She rolled her eyes and took another mouthful before leaning back in her chair, anger taking over her face again.
“You know, when I met you earlier, I told myself to be nice to you because you were a paying guest.”
He chuckled, curious. “And now?”
Her dark eyes locked on his. “Now?” she shrugged. “Now I think that I was a little harsh. I can’t be an island forever.”
“An island?” He had no idea what she was talking about, but she had a great knack of taking his mind from his thoughts.
“Let’s just say that I usually keep to myself. I’ve always been a loner.”
Nathan didn’t know if she was just being friendly or if she was flirting with him. He’d been married for half of his twenties and part of his thirties, and even if he hadn’t been he’d worked almost every waking hour since he’d graduated, which meant he’d been out of the game for way too long. So darn long that he couldn’t even figure out if Jessica was interested or just being friendly.
“For the record, I’m pleased you’ve given up the whole island thing.”
She laughed. “Yeah?”
So much for not flirting. He’d even managed to throw a dumb joke in there, or at least his pitiful attempt at a joke.
“So tell me what it’s like being a banker,” she asked between mouthfuls.
Nathan refused to be drawn back into the past, to let himself think too much about what she’d just asked him. But Jessica knew nothing about what had happened; she was just asking an innocent question. It wasn’t her fault that just the mention of his past brought back memories so vivid, a gut-wrenching pain so deep, that it seemed like he could choke just trying to breath.
“In my first year one of the other interns died from staying awake almost 24/7 and working insane hours,” he told her, watching as her jaw physically dropped, mouth gaping open. “The poor guy was so fatigued, had worked a few days straight, and he had a heart attack.”
“You’re kidding me. Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“I wish I was,” he said with a grimace. “The kind of industry I was in, it took a lot from plenty of us, but the game of what we do is so addictive that sometimes it takes something pretty major to jolt us out.”
Her eyebrows bunched together as she stared at him. “And a young guy dying didn’t alert you to the kind of job you were getting yourself into before you’d committed?”
Nathan shrugged. It was something he’d asked himself so many times after he’d lost his wife, but he knew the answer. The truth was that nothing could have made him give up his job back then—the money had been too good and he’d loved what he did each day—until he’d found his wife. He blinked a few times in fast succession, as if it would make the memories magically disappear. And the way his family were, their expectations; they had almost made his career decision for him. But he wasn’t about to talk to her about his family, because that would be going back in time to something else he was only too happy to forget.
“That’s why I’m here,” he told her. “It took me a while, years, but I finally realized that there was a life for me away from Mayfair. I just had to leave London to figure that out.” If only it hadn’t taken him so long. “I lost someone I loved, and it made me rethink—” he paused “—everything. But I know that if I was twenty-one all over again, nothing anyone could have said to me would have made a difference.”
Jessica’s face was soft, her expression kind as she watched him. “Sometimes it takes losing what we love to show us how much that person or thing meant to us in the first place,” she said, her voice low, almost husky. “I’ve spent my entire life looking up to the world’s best riders, and then when I finally achieved my dreams I lost everything.”
He didn’t know what to tell her, because nothing he could say would change how she felt. He still hadn’t come to terms with what had happened to him, which meant there was no way in hell she would in the near future, either.
“I bet every second person tells you that it’ll get better. That you’ll learn to deal with what’s happened.”
Jessica slowly nodded, running her fingertips across the wooden surface of the table. “The only way I’ll come to terms with what happened to me is when I’m out competing again.”
He sensed there was something else, that she was holding something back. Jessica was staring past him; he guessed she was looking through the window even though the light was fading fast and it was almost dark. She was keeping secrets, just like he was.
“And then there’s Teddy.”
Nathan knew instantly who she was talking about, because he’d read all the news stories about her when it had happened. She hadn’t mentioned her horse, so he hadn’t asked, but from the way she was biting down on her bottom lip, tears glinting in her eyes, he was guessing the outcome wasn’t good.
“Did he, ah, recover from his injuries in the end?” He tried not to grimace, worried he’d said the wrong thing and not wanting to upset her.
Jessica poured herself another glass of wine, sighing and taking a large sip before looking back up. “I’ll never be able to compete him again, but he means the world to me, Nathan. He deserves a retirement here on the farm, going for a ride every now and again if he’s not too stiff, even just being in the field with a few of the youngsters to keep them company.” Her voice was shaky. “I just want him with me.”
“So where is he?”
Her eyebrows pulled together, frustration clear on her face. “He’s still stuck in the UK. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to raise the money to bring him back now, which means I’ll—” she closed her eyes for a moment, taking a visibly deep breath “—have to have him put down. He’s worthless to anyone else, and I won’t be able to afford the livery for long, if at all.”
Nathan could feel her pain, could see how upset she was talking about an animal she so clearly loved. He reached for her across the table, covered her hand with his before even thinking about what he was doing. Nathan squeezed her fingers, wondering what the hell he was doing as he looked into her eyes. It was almost painful just touching her, connecting with another human being, but he forced himself not to pull away.
“How much do you need to fly him home?” he asked.
She shifted her hand beneath his but didn’t remove it. “Too much,” she replied, voice soft.
Nathan slowly took his fingers from hers, sliding them away and reaching for his beer. But that wasn’t why he’d withdrawn—her skin, so soft and warm, was making him think how much he wanted to keep touching her. How much he’d missed being with a woman, or even just being close to any other person.
“Find out how much and I’ll take care of it.”
Her eyes went wide, round like saucers. “No.” She shook her head like she was trying to convince herself otherwise. “Absolutely not.”
“Why not?” If it meant that much to her, he’d pay the bill without a second thought. “Your granddad meant a lot to me, so just think of it as my way of repaying him.”
“No matter how much he did for you, he wouldn’t let you spend thirty grand on bringing a retired horse home.”
Nathan chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t know how much it cost.”
She shrugged. “That’s the rough price, but honestly? There’s no way I could ever afford it, not now, and I’m not taking handouts from anyone.” Jessica sighed. “Besides, this place won’t even be here then. I’m going to have to sell, which means I won’t even have somewhere to keep him or any of the others. I have to face the cold, hard facts.”
Nathan stared long and hard at the grim set of her mouth and the sad look in her eyes. It was almost like looking at a reflection of himself, of the way he felt so often. “Look, if you want him back I’ll pay, no strings attached. And I want to make it clear that I’ll buy Patch if it comes to that, and I’ll pay for somewhere nice to stable him if I need to, for as long as he needs it.”
Jessica’s expression changed, her eyes soft, the faintest lines appearing at the corners as she smiled at him. “Thank you,” she said. “That old horse means a lot to me, too.”
Nathan resisted the urge to reach for her again, but the way she was looking at him made it almost impossible. There was something about being in New Zealand that had changed his outlook, made him appreciate the more simple things he’d taken for granted most of his life, but until now he’d also appreciated the time on his own. Or maybe he’d just been terrified of ever letting anyone close again. Now? He knew he’d been traveling solo for long enough, but even the thought of Jessica’s beautiful smile didn’t make it easier for him to think about...what? He didn’t even know what. He only knew that he liked her, and that she made him want to push past what had been holding him back for so long.
“So you’d let me buy him?”
“If it comes to that, yes.” This time her smile was determined instead of kind when she flashed it. “But I like to win my own battles, Nathan, and that means I don’t want to be anyone’s charity case.”
From the look on her face she’d been offended by his offer when all he’d been trying to do was help. “So I can help you with one horse, but not the other?” He should have kept his mouth shut but the words just slipped out before he could help it.
“The difference is that you genuinely like Patch. He means a lot to you and you’re attached to him. But if I let you help me with Teddy then I’d owe you a debt I could never repay.” She laughed, but it was more of a nervous chuckle. “Besides, I’ve never wanted to be some rich man’s bought-and-paid-for mistress.”
This time he should have said something, but he only stared at her. All his life he’d been surrounded by people impressed by wealth, seen women flock to rich men, and here Jessica was rebuffing him immediately because of his money. Money she desperately needed. It shouldn’t have mattered to him, but something about her words only made him more intrigued. Made him want to help her all the more, a challenge that he couldn’t ignore. And a challenge that made him forget all about his demons, at least for the moment. Or maybe it was the comment about being his mistress that had shocked him into forgetting.
“You know, I think we kind of got off track,” he finally said, breaking the silence.
She only raised her eyebrows in response.
“Tonight was supposed to be about cheap and cheerful food and a few drinks,” he continued.
“And you helping me solve the mystery of my grandfather’s demise,” she added, smile back on her face.
“Let me look through all Jock’s paperwork in the morning,” Nathan suggested, wanting an excuse to see her again as much as he wanted to help. “If there’s one thing I can do, it’s figure out if anyone’s swindled the old man.”
Jessica held up her now half-empty wine glass. “I’ll drink to that.”
Nathan raised his beer bottle and met her stare, surprised that she held his gaze instead of looking away. Earlier in the day she’d hardly been able to look at him, had seemed more annoyed than anything that he’d stopped by to introduce himself, and now her smile alone was warming a part of him that had been cold for the better part of the last year. A part of him that he’d thought would never heal.
“So tell me about this gorgeous old horse of yours,” he said.
“Hey, who’re you calling old?”
* * *
Jessica stood at the door and watched as Nathan walked slowly backward. She raised her hand in a wave, before crossing both arms over her chest, more for comfort than for the cold. It was weird spending time with someone who knew so much about her, but who was essentially still a stranger. Weird but nice at the same time.
“Thanks for coming over,” she said, leaning against the doorjamb
Nathan stopped, hands pushed into his pockets. “So tomorrow we start investigating?” he asked.
“Maybe we should go for a ride,” she suggested, liking the idea of anything that meant she got to spend extra time with him.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She stared after him, watching as he went part way down the drive before crossing over the lawn and heading for the cottage. So much for wishing she didn’t have a guest to deal with. Spending time with Nathan had pulled her from her own miserable thoughts, stopped her from wallowing in what had happened and what could happen in the near future. And it had made her more determined.
Jessica shut the door and headed for the kitchen, sighing as she looked at the table where they’d been sitting. There wasn’t much to clean up, just a couple of beer bottles, the take-out containers and her wineglass, and then she needed to head to bed. Although no matter how tired she was, the jet lag making her entire body fatigued, she knew sleep wouldn’t come easily. Not tonight.
As she collected the bottles and put them in her recycling container, she thought of Nathan, and then her granddad. One man was making her body tingle, making her wish she’d never been so snappy with him earlier in the day, and the other...he was making her worry. Worry about losing the last thing in her life that truly meant something to her. She’d grown up without her dad, but Jock had been the only male role model she’d ever needed. Her mom had been amazing one moment and downbeat the next, and she tried so hard not to think about her sometimes, because it only brought back memories of losing her. Of what had happened. How traumatic her death had been.
Jessica pushed the thoughts away and left the kitchen, deciding to finish cleaning up in the morning, and headed for the stairs. She looked up, ready to collapse into bed when a sliver of light caught her eye. She’d left the light on in the office by mistake, but she took it as a sign.
Jessica looked up the stairs one last time, groaned then padded barefoot to the office, stretching her back as she walked. She might be tired, but she was also on the cusp of losing the farm. She had the rest of her life to sleep and only a short time to save what she loved. She just had to remember to make time for her exercises, because if she let her back seize up and not heal, she’d become too stiff to ever get back in the saddle again. And a life without riding would be a life not worth living.
CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_b7557d45-171b-5846-a8ea-9d9e39b79fd5)
JESSICA GRIMACED AS SHE stretched her body out, holding the yoga pose even though it was killing her. She pushed out a big breath then inhaled again as she slowly released, before forcing her body to comply again. What she needed was a hot yoga class to go to, but she doubted there was anything local—she’d have to travel at least an hour and she didn’t have the time. Same with acupuncture—she would have loved a session, but she wasn’t keen on letting just anyone stick needles into her.
“That looks painful.”
She froze, shutting her eyes for a second. Nathan. She hadn’t expected him to be about so early, let alone to be dropping in to see her. When she relaxed out of her pose and opened her eyes, she looked up at him and saw that he was dressed in workout gear, too.
“Painful would be an understatement,” she replied, slowly stretching out and standing. “But if I ever want my old body back, I’m prepared to deal with the consequences.”
His low laugh made her smile. “That’s how I felt when I started back running. It’s been ten years since I pounded the pavements around London, and I’m finally getting fit again.”
“Another perk of quitting your job?” she asked, reaching for her water and taking a long sip.
“Something like that.”
They stood and stared at one another for a moment, until Jessica put down her bottle. There was something awkward about having Nathan so close, about him staying on the property—awkward but nice at the same time. And she could tell that even though he was friendly, that he wanted to be around her, too, he was finding the whole thing as awkward as she was.
“I’d ask you in for breakfast but I don’t really have anything to offer.” It was the truth—some bread in the freezer was all she had to eat, which meant she was going to have to do a trip to the supermarket if she didn’t want to starve. “You could join me for yoga, but that’s about as good as it gets.”
Nathan stared at her as if he was deep in thought before he said anything. “How about you give me five minutes for a shower and come over to the cottage? I’m on a serious health kick right now, so my refrigerator is jam-packed with food.”
She glanced down at her workout gear and touched her ponytail, running her fingers through it. It was a beautiful morning: the sun was already shining bright across the lawn and filtering onto the porch, and there was nothing she’d rather do than sit with Nathan and eat something other than toast. If she could shower first, that was—it had been a long night and she felt terrible.
“Give me half an hour,” she said, smiling at him. “Breakfast would be lovely.”
As he turned to walk away, she called out to him. “Hey, if you’re on a health kick, how did we end up eating greasy noodles and spring rolls last night?”
The grin he gave her made her wish she didn’t have so much other crap going on that she had to deal with. That she could just enjoy flirting with a handsome guy instead of stressing about every other aspect of her life. Although given what she was going through, maybe he was the perfect distraction.
“I’m allowed the odd treat day,” he told her. “And besides, you looked like you needed comfort food.”
She rolled up her yoga mat instead of staring after him as he disappeared, but she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. A morning of not dealing with reality wasn’t going to kill her, and besides, she was starving. Now she just had to move at lightening speed to shower and get ready.
* * *
After what felt like the fastest half hour of her life, Jessica wandered across the grass toward the cottage, trying not to hurry and telling herself he wasn’t going to notice if she was five minutes late. It had been a long time since she’d seen the little house, and a smile came to her face as she looked at the climbing rose that still covered one side of the wooden structure. It was almost like an oversize kid’s playhouse, and it had been the place she’d lived in when she was younger, before her granddad had managed to convince her mom that she was crazy for insisting on being so independent. Then they’d moved into the main house, and this had been used for friends and family, or for guests when Jock had felt like some company over the past few years. She’d always guessed he’d rented the place when he was lonely, as he liked having younger people around him, but now she wondered if he’d needed the extra money. It was all just so frustrating not being able to ask him what the hell had happened.
Jessica inhaled deeply, convinced she could smell coffee but certain she must be imagining it. She ran her fingers through her hair, a nervous habit that she was always prone to whenever she wore it loose. Most of her life she’d worn a ponytail or plait, having worn a helmet almost every day and needing to be practical, but lately she’d liked blow-drying it and leaving it out, one of the only things she’d enjoyed about not training.
“Hey.”
She looked up and saw Nathan standing barefoot in the doorway, wearing faded jeans and a white T-shirt. He looked like he was born to live on the farm, relaxed and sporting a smile as casual as his clothing, which made it hard to match him with the banker he’d described. In fact, there was almost nothing about him that would ever have hinted at what his usual life was, except maybe his posh English accent. And that hint of sadness that reflected in his gaze—something she doubted he was even aware that he did—that told her he wasn’t as carefree and relaxed as he looked sometimes.
He’d disappeared almost the moment he’d called out, so she just walked slowly to the low porch where the old table was set. She ran her hand along the chair, smiling as she thought about the times she’d sat there in the past. First it had been with her mom, then as somewhere fun to play and have pretend tea parties as a girl, and later it had been a place to sit and think when she’d been a teenager. And when her mom had died, it had been oddly comforting to sit and remember her, sometimes on her own and other times with her granddad silently sitting beside her. Although remembering had always been a lot tougher than trying to forget.
Jessica brushed aside the tears that were pricking her eyes, blinking as she heard Nathan coming out. She didn’t need to go back to that night, to the sirens wailing and the lights flashing in the dead of night, the police car arriving to tell her and her granddad what had happened. She’d been so numb from news of the crash that it had passed as a blur, in the beginning anyway. And it just made her more determined not to let anyone too close, so she didn’t have to experience that kind of loss again.
“I hope you’re not expecting anything too exciting,” Nathan said, putting two bowls on the table and standing back. “I’ve started eating kind of simple food since I’ve been here.”
Jessica looked from him to the table. “Are you serious? What about this is simple?”
The bowls were filled with gourmet muesli, then piled high with every kind of berry. It was exactly what she needed after not looking after herself properly while she’d been overseas, usually too busy riding and making sure her horses got the best of everything, then forgetting about herself. Her go-to food had been grilled cheese and frozen meals—or anything fast when she’d been short on time.
“The farmer’s market here is amazing,” Nathan said, ignoring her compliment and disappearing inside as he called over his shoulder. “You should come with me tomorrow.”
Jessica sat down, using a fork to nudge aside the berries and steal a few blueberries from the bottom. She hadn’t eaten them in years, and the sweet tartness made her taste buds explode, flooding her mouth and making her crave more.
She watched Nathan make his way from the door to the table again, holding another bowl. There was no denying how handsome he was—hair tousled and slightly messy, skin tanned no doubt from the hours he’d been spending outside. It was a weird feeling, but there was something nice about knowing that the hours he’d spent on horseback had been with her granddad. That he’d been the person her grandfather had seen everyday.
“This,” he said, “is coconut yogurt. Believe me when I tell you it’s the best thing you’ll ever eat.”
Jessica couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Coconut yogurt? Next you’re going to tell me that you meditate all day.”
“Well,” he began, a serious look on his face. Then he grinned straight back at her with a playful expression that masked any hint of sadness. “I’m just trying to stay healthy, that’s all. Eating clean food, cooking and exercising, doing the things I neglected for too long.” He chuckled. “But I haven’t taken up meditation and pilates just yet.”
Nathan nudged the yogurt in her direction and she dipped her spoon in, taking his word for how delicious it was going to be. She licked her spoon and then ate the lot, eyes opening wide at the flavor.
“Oh my god, it is incredible.”
“Told you so,” he said, a smug look on his face. “That’s the passion fruit one, my favorite. Although it has nothing on the chocolate coconut ice cream.”
She took a mouthful of everything together, nodding, as he raised an eyebrow at her. “I think you’re on to something with this health kick.”
Nathan made a noise in his throat that she couldn’t decipher before answering. “A heart attack will do that to a guy.”
She almost dropped her spoon. Did he mean him? Surely not. “You mean your father or someone else close to you?”
He shook his head, looking at her from across the table. “Nope. Me.”
No way.

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