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Suspicions: A Twist Of Fate / Tears Of Pride
Lisa Jackson
Deception has many faces….A Twist of Fate When Kane Webster buys First Puget Bank, he knows he is buying trouble. Someone is embezzling funds, and the evidence points to the one woman he can't have. Kane never expected to feel such an intense attraction to Erin O’Toole. Or to fall in love with her. After her divorce, Erin has no desire to get involved with anyone, especially not her new boss. But she can’t resist Kane Webster. Soon, she’s swept into a passionate affair with a man she barely knows…a man she already loves. But when she discovers Kane’s suspicions, she must decide—can she stay with a man who suspects her of criminal intent?Tears of Pride Sheila Lindstrom is reeling from the aftermath of the devastating fire that claimed the life of her father and all but destroyed Cascade Valley Winery, the family’s pride and joy. Without the insurance proceeds needed to rebuild the winery, Sheila risks losing everything to corporate monolith Wilder Investments. When she confronts company president Noah Wilder, an undeniable attraction hits both of them with the force of a tidal wave. Will mistrust and deceit undermine this volatile union—or will love rise from the ashes?


Deception has many faces…
A TWIST OF FATE
When Kane Webster buys First Puget Bank, he knows he is buying trouble. Someone is embezzling funds, and the evidence points to the one woman he can’t have. Kane never expected to feel such an intense attraction to Erin O’Toole—or to fall in love with her.
After her divorce, Erin has no desire to get involved with anyone, especially not her new boss. But she can’t resist Kane Webster. Soon she’s swept into a passionate affair with a man she barely knows…a man she already loves. But when she discovers Kane’s suspicions, she must decide—can she stay with a man who suspects her of criminal intent?
TEARS OF PRIDE
Sheila Lindstrom is reeling from the aftermath of the devastating fire that claimed the life of her father and all but destroyed Cascade Valley Winery, the family’s pride and joy. Without the insurance proceeds needed to rebuild the winery, Sheila risks losing everything to corporate monolith Wilder Investments. When she confronts company president Noah Wilder, an undeniable attraction hits both of them with the force of a tidal wave. Will mistrust and deceit undermine this volatile union—or will love rise from the ashes?
Praise for #1 New York Times bestselling author


“Bestselling Jackson cranks up the suspense to almost unbearable heights in her latest tautly written thriller.”
—Booklist on Malice
“When it comes to providing gritty and sexy stories, Ms. Jackson certainly knows how to deliver.”
—RT Book Reviews on Unspoken
“Provocative prose, an irresistible plot and finely crafted characters make up Jackson’s latest contemporary sizzler.”
—Publishers Weekly on Wishes
“Lisa Jackson takes my breath away.”
—#1 New York Times bestselling author Linda Lael Miller
Suspicions
A Twist of Fate
Tears of Pride
Lisa Jackson


www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Table of Contents
Book One: A_Twist_of_Fate (#u8d6ced04-6806-5715-a95e-791750d1603c)
Book Two: Tears_of_Pride (#litres_trial_promo)


Book One:
A Twist of Fate
Contents
Chapter 1 (#u002d6f10-9039-5406-9e48-ecf4843b76e2)
Chapter 2 (#u772d9274-0255-5f86-b7c2-bfe7cb8ec517)
Chapter 3 (#u069a673a-0e6f-5a0d-9682-991827507931)
Chapter 4 (#u27cbcafd-25a7-5290-8a08-8efc70201939)
Chapter 5 (#u52c16c74-8921-533e-a3dd-e44ee89a2e10)
Chapter 6 (#u3f12cdb9-bb51-52a4-aa39-b2366f786c57)
Chapter 7 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 8 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 9 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter 1
The telephone receiver was slammed back into its cradle with such force that the paperweight sitting next to the phone slipped off the desk. Two framed pictures of a round-eyed, blond-haired girl rattled and then dropped onto the corner of the desk. The tall man who had slammed the telephone so violently righted the portraits with care, clasped his hands behind his back and resumed his pacing. Would it ever be possible to communicate with Krista again, he wondered. His shoulders were slightly slumped, and there was a pained darkness just beneath the anger in his eyes. He swore an oath, aimed for the most part at himself, and continued pacing in front of the wide plate-glass window.
For a moment he paused to look out the window and try and control his rage. A fading California sun was dispersing the final rays of daylight inland as it settled peacefully into the tranquil Pacific Ocean. Long lavender shadows had begun to deepen against the white sand of the beach, and the first cool hint of autumn hung crisply on the air. Kane closed his eyes tightly, as if to shut out the serene view. Turbulent emotions stormed through his body. He kept telling himself that he couldn’t change the past, that he couldn’t blame a dead woman for his daughter’s condition, and yet he did.
A solid rap on the door interrupted his black thoughts, and automatically Kane called out a terse acknowledgment. A moment later Jim Haney marched through the door carrying an ungainly sheaf of papers and a long manila envelope. Jim’s tired face held a genuine smile, although he also noted the severe lines of stress that contorted Kane’s body. Kane’s normally impeccable wool suit was wrinkled and his expensive silk tie askew. Harsh creases webbed from the corners of Kane’s deep-set gray eyes and there was a cold, hard determination in the set of his jaw. It wasn’t hard for Jim to surmise the reason for Kane’s obvious annoyance. Jim knew Kane well enough to recognize that Kane was angry and concerned over his eleven-year-old daughter. The guilt that Kane bore silently was beginning to show. Kane needed to think about something else—anything else—and Jim hoped that he had found the solution to Kane’s studious disinterest in anything other than the near-fatal accident that had left his daughter disabled.
Jim’s smile remained intact as he met Kane’s annoyed gaze. “I guess this about wraps it up,” Jim announced, fanning the air with a smooth sheaf of computer printouts. Kane’s cool eyes followed the green and white pages with only feeble interest while Jim continued. “The Seattle sale—it’s final—and all of the loose ends are tied up…except for one.”
“So quickly?” Kane asked skeptically as he settled into the worn leather chair behind his desk and began scanning the printout.
“For once it looks like we may have gotten lucky.”
“Good!” There was a note of finality to Kane’s words. He looked up at Jim with a grim smile. “Then there’s really no reason for me to wait, is there?”
Jim coughed nervously before meeting Kane’s unwavering gray stare. “Are you sure that you’re making the right decision?”
Involuntarily a muscle in Kane’s jaw tightened. “Let’s just say that I’m making the only decision possible.”
“But to just pack up and leave all of this…” Jim’s voice trailed off as he waved expansively. The gesture encompassed the entire gray concrete office building of Consolidated Finances, the understated but costly furnishings and the calm ocean view.
Kane’s eyes swept the office, noting the leather furniture, the thick plush carpet, the book-lined cherrywood walls, and then fell back on his friend. “Think of it as a prolonged leave of absence, if you like.”
“Then you will be back?” Jim asked guardedly.
“When I have to be,” Kane agreed, with an expression of distaste. “No doubt the board of directors will insist that I come back and oversee the operation from time to time.” Kane returned his attention to the computer sheets before him. Quickly shuffling through the smooth, flat pages, he located the report that he sought. A dark furrow etched its way across his forehead as he reread the printout. “Still losing money in the legal department?” he asked, almost to himself. “I thought that we had cleared up that embezzling scam last week and had gotten rid of Cameron—or whatever his name was. Didn’t we?” He turned his sharp eyes on Jim.
“That’s the one loose end that’s still dangling. It looks as if Cameron has an accomplice.”
“What?”
“I had a hunch from the beginning that someone was working with him, but I couldn’t prove it until I made sure that Cameron was out of commission. I’m not sure who the culprit is—haven’t been able to dig up any tangible proof—but I’ve narrowed it down to a few possibilities.” Jim handed Kane the manila envelope. “Here’s some personnel information on some of the suspects.”
Kane reached for the envelope. “Well, whoever he is, he must be a damned fool! You would think that with all of the hubbub about Cameron, anyone else involved would be busy covering his tracks rather than taking any further risks. This guy must get his kicks by flirting with danger.”
“It may not be a man,” Jim suggested.
Kane cocked an interested black eyebrow. “A woman?” A satisfied, almost wicked smile crept over his lips.
“Like I said before, I’m not sure, but it looks as if Cameron has always been…fond of the ladies. He’s had a reputation for promoting women.”
“Whether they’re qualified or not?”
Jim shrugged. He didn’t like the glint of inquisitive interest that had stolen over Kane’s features. “I haven’t had Cameron arrested as yet, but he’s being watched. Hopefully his colleague will surface soon.”
“So you’re telling me that Cameron is still on the payroll and that although you’re sure he hasn’t taken any more funds, someone near to him has.” Kane Webster was beginning to show his anger.
Jim squirmed only slightly as he went on to explain. “That’s about the size of it. We’re watching Cameron round the clock, night and day. We know that he hasn’t pocketed the funds himself, because we’ve kept him tied up with auditors and the like ever since it became apparent that he was embezzling trust funds. So far he hasn’t become suspicious.”
Kane wasn’t convinced. “And his friend?”
“Somehow she’s still manipulating the accounts and taking money.” Jim shook his head and grimaced. “I haven’t been able to trace it to her as yet. She’s very clever.”
Kane sat thoughtfully in his chair and pulled out the personnel files that Jim had handed him. He didn’t doubt Jim’s assumption that Cameron had a woman accomplice. He’d worked with Jim too many years not to respect the younger man’s opinion. Jim’s suspicions had always paid off in the end for Consolidated Finances.
The names on the personnel reports meant nothing to Kane, and at first glance, all of the files seemed to hold nothing out of the ordinary. “You’re sure that the thief is one of these people?”
Jim nodded his head in affirmation. “No one else has the authority to move bank funds so freely.”
“But couldn’t someone else forge a superior’s order?”
“I thought about that too. I had it checked out, but the auditing system of the bank is too complete. No, our misguided embezzler is sitting right there in that envelope. All we have to do is figure out who she is.”
Kane puzzled over Jim’s recent discoveries in what had appeared to be a sleepy little Seattle bank. His eyes narrowed as he thought about the trap that he would set for Cameron and his accomplice. The fact that it was a woman interested Kane. He had learned several years ago that women could be a devious lot, and it only reinforced his bitter opinion of the opposite sex to learn of the female embezzler.
Jim Haney watched the play of emotions that traversed Kane’s dark features. He had worked with Kane for over ten years and had come to know his boss as well as anyone. Kane was a fair employer, but Jim knew from past experience that Kane could be ruthless if crossed. Right now, as Kane’s lips thinned, Jim was thankful that his name wasn’t Mitchell Cameron. And he couldn’t help but feel pity for the unfortunate woman who had gotten tangled up with Cameron. Jim had his own opinion about the accomplice’s identity, and he had met the woman. It was damned hard to believe that such an intelligent, sophisticated woman would be involved with the likes of Cameron. Oh, well—that was Kane’s problem. “Did you want me to have the police go to work on Cameron?” he asked.
“No.” Kane shook his head, still immersed in his thoughts. “I’ll see to it personally. I’m leaving for Seattle tonight.” A satisfied grin moved over Kane’s features.
“You’re really going to enjoy throwing the book at Cameron, aren’t you?”
“And the woman! I don’t like any thief—especially when she’s got her hands in my pockets!” Kane retorted. “This just gives me one more reason to head north as soon as possible.”
“That’s something I don’t understand at all,” Jim admitted. “Why you bought that miserable excuse of a bank—it’s been losing money for years—just so you can freeze your tail off in Seattle.”
“California lost its sparkle for me quite a while ago,” Kane muttered tersely, then softened his tone as he caught the wounded look in Jim’s eyes. “You know of course about Krista. The doctor thinks a change of climate would be good for her. As soon as I have a permanent residence, I’ll send for her.”
A personal question died on Jim’s lips as he noticed the sober tone of Kane’s final words. He hadn’t gotten to be vice president of Consolidated Finances by asking questions that were none of his business. He’d heard the rumors associated with Kane: a glamorous ex-wife, a sticky divorce and an unfortunate accident. But Jim had never pried. He was too interested in self-preservation to open doors that Kane preferred locked.
Kane pushed the manila envelope into his briefcase along with a small portrait of his daughter. He paused for a minute and looked at the eager young face before tucking the picture into a side pocket in the leather case. That accomplished, he snapped the briefcase closed.
“The moving company will take care of the rest of this litter,” Kane observed, looking around his office for one last time. “If you need to get in touch with me, Carla has the number of my hotel in Seattle.”
“Good luck,” Jim said, clasping Kane’s hand warmly.
“Let’s hope I don’t have to rely on luck!” With a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, Kane walked out of his office for the last time.
* * *
The early-model Volkswagen Rabbit skidded to an abrupt halt, splashing dirty rainwater from the street up onto the sidewalk. The driver of the little yellow car was a slim, striking woman who pulled the emergency brake, slung her purse over her shoulder and slammed the car door shut without taking the time to lock it. She hastened through the damp September evening toward the cozy Irish bar.
There was a determined and slightly mysterious gleam in her large eyes as she hiked her raincoat up and clutched the collar tightly to her throat. Sidestepping a puddle of water as if it were second nature, she pushed her way through the stained-glass door of the restaurant.
The familiar interior was dark, but Erin’s eyes became quickly accustomed to the dim lighting and the air thick with cigarette smoke. Loud, tinny music was coming from a rather bedraggled-looking band reminiscent of the late fifties.
Unconsciously Erin wiped away a few drops of rain that still lingered on her cheeks, while she moved her gaze over the Friday night throng of customers that was heralding the beginning of what promised to be another rainy Seattle weekend.
Appreciative glances and admiring smiles followed her movements, but she ignored everyone other than the distinguished man of about fifty sitting before the polished bottles and the mirrored backdrop of the bar. Erin’s eyes met his in the reflection, and for a moment a dark, guarded look crossed over his distracted blue eyes. Finally he smiled tightly and motioned for her to take the vacant stool at his side.
“Mitch,” Erin sighed almost gratefully. “What on earth are you doing here?”
He hesitated, and in that instant, any warmth in his eyes faded. “How did you know where to find me?”
“Olivia Parsons thought you might be here,” Erin replied. Her smile disappeared at the thought of the leggy brunette.
“Oh, I see. Dear old Livvie,” Mitch mumbled sarcastically. “Your friend and mine! Here’s to friendship.” He waved his glass theatrically in the air and signaled to the bartender for another drink. “What can I get you, Erin?”
“Nothing,” Erin whispered, trying to keep the conversation as quiet as possible and yet be heard over the din of the band.
“Nothing?” he echoed, mimicking her. “Not going to join me for old times’ sake?”
“What are you talking about and why are you here?” she asked, confused by his cynical attitude. Where was the kind man with the soft voice and the dry sense of humor whom she had known for over eight years? Mitch didn’t bother to answer her questions. He seemed intent on evading the issue, but she persisted. “Mitch, what are you doing here?”
“What does it look like?”
“It looks suspiciously like you’re getting smashed,” she replied honestly.
“Very astute, young lady. I always did say that you were a smart girl, Erin.” Mitch drained his old drink and reached for the new one. “Are you sure you won’t join me? The Scotch is excellent!” Erin shook her head, but Mitch accosted the bartender. “Bring the lady a glass of Chablis,” he commanded over Erin’s protests.
Erin was having trouble hiding her annoyance with her boss and his unpredictable mood swings, but she kept her temper in check and tried a more subtle approach with him. “Why did you leave the bank early today?” A glass of chilled white wine appeared on the bar before her.
“You haven’t heard?”
“Heard what?” Erin asked uneasily. There was a menacing quality about Mitch that she wasn’t accustomed to and didn’t like.
Mitch shrugged and Erin noticed that his shoulders drooped. “Why don’t you ask Kane Webster, if you’re so interested.”
“Webster? The new president of the bank? What does he have to do with the fact that you left the office and your clients in order to promote a hangover?” she inquired. Mitch had changed dramatically in the last several months. His behavior had become erratic, almost secretive, and his work had suffered. However, until today Erin had never had to cover for him with a client or track him down in some bar. Erin counted Mitch as one of the few close friends she had in the world, and it pained her to witness his deterioration.
She couldn’t forget that Mitch had helped her through an agonizing period in her life by offering her a challenging job and a chance to bury herself in her work. He had encouraged her to do postgraduate work in law and keep busy in order to forget about Lee and the embarrassment and heartache she had suffered while she was married to him. Mitch had helped Erin realize that when Lee had left her eight years before, it hadn’t been the end of the world. When she had needed a friend, Mitchell Cameron had been there. And now, if Mitch had a problem, Erin vowed to return the favor.
“Mrs. Anderson was in today,” Erin stated, and took the glass of wine from the bar. “She was very disappointed that you weren’t able to meet with her yourself. Somehow she didn’t really think that I was a suitable replacement for the head of the legal department, and I can’t say that I blame her. I certainly wasn’t very knowledgeable about her grandfather’s will or the estate…”
“That’s her problem,” Mitch stated blandly and again focused his attention on the bottom of his glass.
“It’s not Mrs. Anderson’s problem,” Erin corrected.
“Well, it certainly isn’t mine!”
“But the bank…”
“To hell with the bank,” Mitch spat out and slammed his glass on the polished counter. Several of the patrons close by turned interested eyes on Erin and Mitch. Erin felt herself shrink. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene.
“I don’t understand what’s gotten into you lately,” Erin began in a low whisper. “And I don’t know what Kane Webster has to do with you coming down here to drown your sorrows, but if there’s anything I can do—or if there’s something you want to talk about…”
“I don’t want to talk about anything! You’re the one who came looking for me,” he reminded her crossly. “I didn’t invite you!”
“I was worried about you.”
“Well, don’t worry over me. I can take care of myself!” Mitch’s voice was bitter.
“Mitch, what in the world is going on?” she asked. Erin was stung by his acrid words, but compassion held back the sharp retort that had entered her mind as she watched Mitch order another drink. It was apparent that something was eating him, and because of the kindness he had shown her in the past, she held her tongue. She reached for his sleeve and in a quieter voice asked, “Won’t you please tell me what’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” The word ricocheted back at her followed by Mitch’s mirthless laugh. “What could possibly be wrong?” His blue eyes glittered like ice. “Unless, of course, you think that being fired from a bank that you’ve given twenty years of your life to is a problem.”
The meaning of his words struck her like an arctic blast. “Fired? Webster fired you? But why?”
“Like I said, ask him—if you’ve still got a job. Who knows, you could be next!”
“But he hasn’t even come up from California yet.”
“Oh, he’s here all right, and mark my words, all of the employees at First Puget—oh, excuse me—Consolidated First Bank better be ready!” he pointed out sarcastically.
Erin sat for a moment in numbed silence. The thought of Mitch being fired was absurd, ludicrous. Mitch had been prominent in building the legal department of First Puget to one of the most prestigious in the city. It was true that for the first time in over a decade the legal department had lost money, but certainly the new president wouldn’t hold Mitch solely responsible, would he? Nothing made any sense to her anymore. Mitch caught the look of confusion and pity in her eyes. His attitude softened momentarily.
“Look, Erin. Don’t waste your sympathy on me. And it’s really not a good idea for you to be seen with me. Believe me, it would be in your best interests to just leave me alone.”
“You look like you could use a friend,” Erin suggested.
“What I need now is a good attorney, not a friend.”
“But you are an attorney,” Erin replied, still completely perplexed.
Mitch looked her squarely in the eyes. “I’m a lawyer, yes, but I specialize in civil law. What I need now is a criminal lawyer.”
“I don’t understand….”
“You don’t have to,” Mitch answered abruptly and stood up. “I told you before, I don’t need your sympathy or any of your self-righteous friendship!” He turned his back on Erin, fumbled in his pocket for a moment and threw a wad of crumpled bills onto the bar. “See ya around,” he called over his shoulder, but Erin didn’t think he directed his words at her.
“Mitch…wait,” she began, but his long uneven strides carried him out of the door and into the night. As she watched him leave she was still recovering from the shock of his dismissal. Why would he have been fired? It was hard to believe that she wouldn’t see him on Monday morning, sitting behind his large oak desk, puffing on a slim cigar and perusing the Wall Street Journal.
“Looks like you’ve been stranded,” a smooth male voice suggested intimately. “How about a drink with me?”
Erin turned in the direction of the voice and murmured a firm “No, thanks” to the young man with the clipped mustache. He shrugged his shoulders at her denial, as if it was her loss, and manipulated his attention to a lanky blonde sitting near the dance floor.
Erin made her way back to the car. The drizzle had turned into a downpour and the late afternoon sky had blackened. The drive home was automatic, and as the windshield wipers slapped the rain off the glass, Erin thought about Mitch and what it would be like without his presence in the bank.
She had suspected for several months that Mitch was in the throes of some personal problem. At least it had appeared that way. He had seemed tired and worried—no, more than that—tense, tightly coiled. The closer the final date for the imminent bank sale had drawn, the more tightly wound Mitch had become. Erin had told herself at the time that it was only her imagination, that all of the employees of First Puget were bound to be a little anxious about the new management. But now, as she drove through the dark, slick side streets, she chided herself for not seeing and acknowledging what had been so transparent: Mitchell Cameron was in deep trouble. Its exact nature she couldn’t guess, but it was serious enough to have cost him his job.
Without thinking, she killed the motor of the car as she pulled up in front of the Victorian apartment house. Closing her eyes and rotating her head, Erin tried to relieve the tension in her neck and shoulders. She wondered about Kane Webster. What kind of a man was he? What did she really know about the man, other than the few neatly typed memos with the bold signature that had crossed her desk?
She hadn’t heard much about his personal life. Apparently he preferred his privacy. Occasionally Erin had seen his name in print—in the financial pages. If she had read anything about him in the social pages, it usually had to do with his ex-wife, a gorgeous model who had made an unsuccessful attempt at becoming an actress. But that was several years ago, before an accident that had killed Jana and left the daughter crippled, or so it was rumored.
Erin frowned to herself as she thought about her new employer. One thing was certain: Kane Webster had made his fortune on his own, spending the last decade purchasing failing financial institutions and transforming them from operating in the red to operating in the black. He had gained a reputation in financial circles for being something of a rogue because of his unorthodox methods of operation. But if results were the measure of success, Kane Webster was prosperous. It was as if King Midas had reached out and touched the ailing banks himself.
Wearily Erin got out of the car and locked the door. She started up the short shrub-lined walk to her home and smiled at the elegant old house. It was a lovely Victorian manor, perched on a hill overlooking the city. The front porch was comfortable and trimmed in ornate gingerbread. The turn-of-the-century home had been fashioned into apartments twenty years before, and the contractor had taken care to accentuate the nineteenth-century charm of the house. Erin had fallen in love with it the first time she had laid eyes on it. Ignoring opposing arguments from just about everyone she knew, she had used her small inheritance as a down payment and purchased the building two years ago. Or to be more precise, she and First Puget Bank had purchased it; there was still a sizeable mortgage against it.
Even in the drizzle of early twilight the old manor looked warm and inviting. The white three-story building with its gently sloping roof and deep gables had a picturesque aura that was distinctly “Old Seattle.” Upon close inspection it was obvious that the house was in sad need of many repairs, but tonight Erin overlooked the chipped paint and the rusty drainpipes. She had applied for an employee loan with the bank to make the needed improvements, but she knew as well as anyone that her loan would be a very low priority to Kane Webster. With a bank that was already losing money, how could he possibly make any low-interest employee loans?
Erin’s own apartment, located on the uppermost floor of the stately house, was an attic converted into a cozy loft with a bird’s-eye view of the city. She climbed the stairs slowly, sifting through the various pieces of junk mail and complaints from her tenants. Her mind was only half on the stack of mail in her hands, when she heard the telephone ringing. Racing up the final steps, she hurriedly unlocked the door, threw the mail on the table and grabbed the phone.
“Hello?” she inquired, breathless from her dash up the stairs.
“Erin, honey, it’s good to hear your voice. Where have you been? I’ve been calling for hours,” a friendly male voice said.
“Lee?” Erin asked hesitantly.
A good-natured laugh bellowed from the other end. “Hi! How’ve you been?”
“Fine, Lee,” she managed, wondering why he persisted in calling her. After the last call two weeks ago, she thought he understood that she didn’t want to see him again.
“What do you say we get together? You know, have a couple of drinks and a few laughs. I’ll come by and pick you up in a half hour,” he suggested.
Erin was tempted. There had always been something seductive about Lee, not in the sexual sense, but in the fact that he was such an outgoing, likable kind of guy. The same qualities that made him great fun at a party made him an immature husband. Erin could almost picture Lee’s college-boy good looks—thick blond hair with just the right amount of wave and laughing blue eyes.
“I don’t think so,” she replied, trying to take a firm stand with him and failing.
“Why not? Don’t tell me you’ve got other plans?”
“No…” Erin responded, and wondered why she hadn’t lied and just gotten rid of him. After all these years and all of the heartache, why couldn’t she just slam the receiver down and end the conversation?
“Then, let’s have a night on the town…”
“I can’t, Lee. I’m sorry. I’ve got a pile of work to catch up on before Monday.”
“But it’s the weekend,” he coaxed in a honeyed voice. “You know what they say, ‘All work and no play makes Erin a dull girl.’”
Lee chuckled, but something in his words brought Erin crashing back to reality. Suddenly she remembered just how little she had in common with a boy who refused to grow up. She recalled the shame and humiliation she had suffered while playing the role of dutiful wife.
“No, Lee. That’s not what they say at all. That’s what you said eight years ago.”
“Hey, baby, that’s all water under the bridge. Come on, what would a drink hurt?”
Erin sighed audibly. “Look, Lee, I’m not in the mood. Not tonight—not ever. I thought I made that clear to you a couple of weeks ago.”
There was a pause in the conversation and Erin could almost hear the wheels turning in Lee’s mind.
“Just what is it that you want from me?” she asked.
“I told you—we could have a few laughs.”
“Why not just turn on the television and catch reruns of Gilligan’s Island,” she suggested and immediately regretted the sarcasm in her words. Nervously she began tapping her fingernails on the tabletop.
“I have to see you,” he pleaded.
“Why? It didn’t matter eight years ago. Why the sudden interest?” Erin’s voice had begun to shake. Memories began to wash over her.
“You really want to do this the hard way, don’t you?” Lee accused.
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Erin sputtered, but an uneasy feeling was growing in the pit of her stomach. This wasn’t just a friendly call. He wanted money from her—again. Suddenly Erin felt a deep pang of pity for the man who was once her husband.
“Look, honey,” Lee cajoled with only a trace of uncertainty in his voice. “You know I lost the job in Spokane, and well, since I’ve been back here, my luck hasn’t been all that great. I thought that…you could loan me a few bucks, just until I get back on my feet.”
Erin swallowed hard before answering. “You haven’t paid me back from the last time that I helped you ‘get back on your feet.’” Erin’s voice was flat. She hoped she sounded unshakable.
“Things just didn’t turn out in Spokane. You know how it is, what with the lousy economy and all. It’s just hard to get started.”
“Oh, Lee,” Erin sighed, and felt herself wavering.
He sensed the change in her voice. “I just need a few hundred to get started…”
“Spare me the sad story, Lee,” Erin interrupted. “I can’t loan you any money right now. I just don’t have it.”
“Don’t have it—or won’t lend it?” Lee asked desperately.
“I’m sorry, Lee.”
“I doubt it!”
“I don’t think that you and I have anything more to discuss. You were the one who made that decision several years ago. Good night.”
Erin hung up and noticed that her hands were trembling. Why did he always affect her this way? It was as if she was reliving those last few months before the divorce had become final all over again. Why didn’t Lee just disappear from her life completely? Was it her fault? Did he notice her hesitation and somehow construe it as an invitation? While they were married, he had wanted his freedom so desperately. And yet, since the divorce had become final, he kept showing up, trying to rekindle the dead flames. When he finally moved to Spokane, Erin had breathed a sigh of relief. She thought that finally he would make a life away from her.
That was why she had made the mistake of loaning him fifteen hundred dollars, hoping that he would establish himself in Spokane. But his plans had backfired, and he was back in Seattle. It hadn’t lasted six months.
Erin shook off her raincoat and started taking the pins from her hair. She couldn’t worry about Lee right now. She had too many other pressing problems, the first of which was to get up early in the morning and straighten out the mess that Mitch had made of the Anderson will. That meant that she would have to go back to the bank on a Saturday, but she saw no other solution. With the new boss in town, it wouldn’t do to have him walk in on Monday morning and face an angry beneficiary.
Erin shook her hair down to her shoulders and made her way to the bathroom for a long hot bath. It had been a tiring and disturbing day.
Chapter 2
In the silent city, the stark marble building knifed upward through the early morning fog. Workmen were already removing the old lettering to announce formally that First Puget Bank had become one more cog in the banking machine known as Consolidated Finances. Erin felt a surge of sadness as the final gold letter was lifted off its marble support. It was disheartening to realize that an institution with eighty-year-old roots on the banks of Puget Sound could be so easily transformed into a new, slick piece of financial machinery. Erin couldn’t help but feel that some of the personality of the bank would be lost in the transition. Quietly she let herself into the building with her own key and waved to the security guard near the door.
The large foyer of the bank was conspicuously quiet without the usual din of customers, tellers and ringing telephones. It was an eerie, tomblike feeling, and usually gave Erin a feeling of peaceful tranquillity, but today she felt somber.
The elevator was waiting for her, and with a vibrating groan, it whirred into motion and lifted her to the twenty-third floor and the maze of offices that comprised the legal department. She walked in the glow of the security lights, not bothering to turn on the bright iridescence of the outer office fixtures. As she passed Mitch’s office she lingered for a moment, experiencing a stab of regret and bitterness. Why couldn’t things have worked out better for him? Why did Webster let him go? She wondered about the circumstances surrounding his departure. Was Kane Webster really on a witch hunt of sorts, or was there more to the story? She touched the brass doorknob but released it quickly. What good would it do to go snooping in Mitch’s office—it would only stir up unwelcome feelings. The best idea would be to do her work and leave the building before depression really did settle on her shoulders.
Erin’s office was dark, but she clicked on the brass desk lamp rather than the overhead fluorescent fixture. The lamp bathed the desk area in a gentle warm glow and gave the room a more intimate and less businesslike atmosphere. She adjusted her reading glasses and pulled out Mitch’s dog-eared copy of the Anderson will. As she began to read the verbose and tangled document, Erin became totally consumed by her work. She pulled out several large volumes and unconsciously began humming to the airy notes of the piped-in music. Within minutes she settled herself comfortably on the carpeted floor of her office and became oblivious to anything other than the interesting terms of the document.
* * *
Kane stepped out of the cab and handed the driver a healthy tip. He stood for a moment on the curb and squinted up at the tall building he had purchased. With stern satisfaction he watched while the new sign for Consolidated Finances was put into place. He couldn’t help but wonder if, as Jim had suggested, he had made a mistake in purchasing this particular bank. It had lost money for nearly two years through terrible mismanagement and was teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. It would take a great deal of finesse on his part to avoid the collapse of the entire organization. Perhaps he had been rash in his decision to acquire the bank. In his eagerness to get away from a glittery lifestyle in California, and in hopes of favorably relocating his daughter, it was possible that he had been too hasty in his decision.
It was too late to start second-guessing himself at this point. With a determined grimace he let himself into the newest in a series of West Coast branches of Consolidated Finances.
As the elevator took him upward he reflected on the position of the bank. Certainly it was salvageable. The first order of business was to plug the embezzling leak. Kane smiled to himself. Nothing would give him greater satisfaction than to deal with the woman who was attempting to steal money from the account holders of the bank. He’d already dealt with Cameron, just yesterday, and fired the bastard. Unfortunately Cameron hadn’t given Kane any clues as to the identity of his accomplice. Kane had underestimated the man. He had expected Cameron to crumble into a thousand pieces and give him any information he required in return for immunity from prosecution. But Cameron was made of sturdier stuff, it seemed.
Cameron’s attitude had reinforced Jim’s opinion—the accomplice had to be a woman, someone Cameron cared enough about to try and protect. Kane hoped that there might be a clue in Mitch’s office, just one tiny shred of evidence as to the identity of the woman.
The steel doors opened and Kane stepped into the dimly lit reception area of the legal department. As he was about to snap on the lights, he paused. Was it his imagination or was someone actually humming? His eyes swept the reception area and the adjoining offices until he saw the golden glow of a desk lamp illuminating a partially opened door. The humming continued, a soft womanly quality in its melodic tones. Kane’s mind speculated about the woman. Who would be here alone on a Saturday, early in the morning, when the bank was closed? Security personnel? A custodian? Unlikely.
Kane smiled almost evilly to himself and left the hallway in darkness. Maybe for once he had gotten lucky. It was about time for his luck to change. Perhaps the job of finding Cameron’s accomplice was going to be much easier than he had first supposed. Stealthily he strode onward toward the beckoning doorway. His jaw tightened and he cautioned himself to be wary. It would be easy for a thief to cover her tracks if she was smart enough to realize that he could be suspicious of her. He would have to tread lightly. Silently he made his way to the door, unprepared for the scene that met his eyes.
A small woman with thick black hair brushed loosely over her shoulders was sitting on the floor of the office. She sat cross-legged with her back to the door, and she was pouring over an enormous pile of open-faced legal documents and books. The office itself was an incredible tangle of notes, books and loose papers. The object of his inspection wasn’t what he had imagined. Wearing tight-fitting jeans and a bulky violet sweater that hid none of her soft curves, she was so absorbed in her work that she didn’t hear his entrance. A pair of reading glasses perched tentatively on the end of an upturned nose and a pencil caught behind one ear kept her hair from falling in her face. Absently, to herself, she continued humming. To Kane she appeared more like a college student preparing for final exams than a businesswoman, and she hardly looked the type who stole. There was a tranquil but nevertheless faintly disturbing beauty about the young woman.
Kane’s reflexes hardened. No matter who this woman was, he had to force himself to keep his objectivity about her. Right now she had unwittingly assumed position number one on the list of embezzling suspects, and Kane couldn’t forget that fact. No matter how innocent or vulnerable she seemed, she was most likely to be the snag in the legal department. It didn’t matter that the elegant curve of her jaw conformed to her regal bearing, or that her obsidian hair shimmered with streaks of indigo…. Before he let his thoughts wander any further, he caught himself. The last thing he could afford at this point was to feel any interest in her whatsoever.
He coughed to get her attention, and immediately she swung her startled head in his direction. Her eyes met his, and just for a moment he felt as if he was slipping into their lilac depths. Even over the top of her reading glasses, he could see that there was a tremor of fear in those luminous eyes, and involuntarily he wanted to reach out and comfort her. But he forced himself to remain standing, unwavering.
Erin had been completely oblivious to anything other than her work, but a soft cough interrupted her thoughts. She whirled to face the intruding noise, half expecting to see a familiar face.
“Mitch?” she called from habit.
The man standing in the doorway was a stranger and a ripple of alarm broke over her. Her surprise was revealed by the barely concealed gasp. Whoever the tall man was, he had evidently been standing in the doorway for several minutes. He had been right over her, silently appraising her. The thought of his eyes traveling unrestricted over her made her uneasy, tense.
“Were you expecting someone?” he asked.
“Yes…no…you surprised me.”
He cocked an eyebrow and leaned against the doorjamb, still watching her intently. He was a tall man, and even in his casual clothes Erin could tell that he was well-proportioned and lean. Strong, broad shoulders supported the expensive weave of his open sport coat. As he stood somewhat insolently, his supple legs strained against the light weight of his tan corduroy slacks. His hair was thick, burnished auburn, laced with traces of gold that gleamed in the warm light of the room. His face was tanned and angular to the point of being harsh, and his gray eyes held hers in a severe gaze that spoke of power and hinted at arrogance. For a moment neither spoke, and Erin felt the spark of electricity in the air.
“May I help you?” Erin inquired in her most coolly professional voice. She guessed at the identity of the intruder and tried to present a calm and efficient demeanor to her new superior. It wasn’t an easy task, considering the fact that she was sitting cross-legged in a semicircle of legal documents. She rose as gracefully as possible, without letting her eyes waver from the calculating face of the man who just last night had fired Mitch.
“You’re Miss O’Toole?” he continued his inquiry, not answering her question, and only breaking the power of his gaze by a glance at the carved nameplate on her desk.
“That’s correct,” she agreed, for some reason unable to smile. “I assume you’re…Mr. Webster?”
“Kane,” he suggested. His silvery eyes drove more deeply into hers and she could feel that he was watching her response, almost anticipating her reaction. “You were expecting me?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then…you were waiting for Mitchell Cameron?”
“I told you before, no.”
“Then what exactly are you doing here?”
She paused for a moment. It had to be evident that she was busy with legal work, didn’t it? Perhaps it was the way that he asked the question that made her feel a need for caution. “I was working.”
“I can see that,” he scoffed, and for a minute a smile threatened to creep over his face. “But I guess my question should be more specific. Why are you working—” his eyes scanned the office “—seemingly alone, on a Saturday?”
“I am alone!” Was he relieved? “And the reason that I’m here is that there has been a tremendous increase in my workload with the conversion to Consolidated,” she replied, but he didn’t seem to be listening. To her consternation he came into the room and casually hooked one leg over the desk corner, as if to remind her that he owned the place—literally.
She felt a need to back away from him—to put a little space between his body and hers, but she ignored the temptation. Intuitively she knew that she couldn’t show him the least sign of vulnerability or weakness. The harshness in his attitude and his tight-lipped questions made her stiffen and become increasingly wary.
“I see,” he mused as if he really didn’t. He tented his hands under his chin in a thoughtful and, in Erin’s opinion, overly dramatic pose. “Then you’re saying that you’re overworked?”
“No…”
“No?” He smiled broadly, but the grin didn’t light the cold depths of his eyes. “Then you must be inefficient,” he suggested.
“I beg your pardon!” Erin blurted, the color draining from her face. What was he doing to her with all of these insane questions and inaccurate accusations?
“Well, it has to be one or the other, doesn’t it?”
“Of course not!” she rifled back at him, and suddenly felt as if she had just swallowed a well-placed morsel of bait. He was toying with her for some reason, and it frightened her. To hide her nervousness she began stacking the legal volumes back on the shelf and tidying the scattered papers. She started to arrange her desk in brisk, sure movements, all the while aware that his eyes touched her face, her hands, her neck, her breasts….
She pulled her attention back to him. “I explained that I had a little extra work to finish up. For some reason, that apparently irritates you. I had no intention of offending you so….”
“You haven’t offended me.” His voice was softer.
“Then what is it with you? I’m just trying to do a decent job, for your bank, I might add, and you march in here unannounced and start an interrogation!”
“Have I been interrogating you?” he asked gently, and reached for her wrist.
“You still are!” she retorted as his hand captured hers. His fingers were a warm, soothing manacle and her pulse began to heat with his touch. Her eyes flew to her wrist, to his eyes, to his fingers and back to his eyes. Then, as abruptly as he had reached for her, he let the hand drop. The intimate gesture had startled Erin, but the release was a disappointment. Unconsciously she drew away from him. He was too commanding, too powerful, and her response to him was too violent.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, and his dark brows drew together. “I didn’t mean to make our first meeting an inquisition. I didn’t expect to find anyone here today.”
“Neither did I,” she breathed. “And that’s precisely why I came in—to work without interruption—from the telephone or…anything else.” Her breathing was still uneven; the man made her nervous. She tried to control herself and avoid overreacting.
“Do you come in after hours often, Miss O’Toole?” Another question!
“Only when I feel it’s necessary!” she responded cuttingly, and then feeling immediately contrite, added, “Please call me Erin. Everyone else does.”
“Fair enough. I like to keep things on a personal level.”
Erin’s black eyebrows shot skyward with his last remark, but she decided it would be wiser not to comment. She had only to remember his grip on her wrist and the storm of emotions that had seized her with his touch. She didn’t understand why she was overreacting to him, but she knew that it would be best to put distance between them.
He rose to leave, and Erin felt the air slowly escape from her lungs. She needed time to collect herself, to be alone. However, before reaching the door he paused.
“What was your relationship with Mitchell Cameron?” he asked.
Erin swallowed hard and met the chill in Kane’s eyes. “He was my boss,” she replied curtly.
“That’s all?” Kane’s angular face was tense, his jawline firm.
Erin narrowed her eyes. “No…that isn’t all!” she said defiantly, watching his gray eyes grow a shade more calculating.
“Somehow I didn’t think so.”
“Mitchell Cameron is my friend. That fact won’t change, even if you did fire him!”
“So you know about that,” he thought aloud. “Did Cameron tell you?”
“That’s right.”
“Did he explain why?”
“I thought maybe you could answer that one.” Now she goaded him.
Kane slammed the door closed, reversed his stride and came back to Erin’s desk. He planted his hands firmly on the polished surface and pushed his face to within inches of hers.
“What exactly did he tell you, and when?”
“I don’t really know if it’s any of your business,” she shot back at him. Why was he so angry with her? She didn’t understand it, but she felt her temper rise with his.
As quickly as a cat springing, he reached out for her and pulled her face near to his. “Anything about this bank is my business!”
“But Mitch doesn’t have anything to do with the bank anymore, does he?” she asked rhetorically. “You took care of that!”
She felt his closeness, the warmth of his hand against her chin, the light pulse in the tip of his fingers, the heat and magnetism that seemed to radiate from him.
“Why don’t you tell me about ‘your friend,’ Mitch,” he coaxed, and suddenly the fingers that had been rough became gentle. His thumb persuaded her to relax as it moved sensually along the line of her chin and jaw, stopping just short of her throat.
“There’s nothing to tell,” she whispered, trying to think coherently and disregard the intimate persuasion of his hand.
His eyes, flooded with passion, cooled. “Just how good friends are you?”
“Good friends—just that,” she managed, and seeing the clinical hardness on his face, pushed his hand away, adding, “Nothing more. And I resent the implication.”
“Implication?” he mocked.
“That I sleep with him. That is what you were getting at, isn’t it?” she asked with a bitterness she couldn’t conceal. “Not all successful women sleep their way to the top!”
“I didn’t mean to imply…”
“You certainly did! I really don’t understand what all of these suggestive questions are about. I came in here to get some work done!” Erin began gathering the loose papers on her desk as she attempted to stem her anger. She knew it wouldn’t do anyone any good to let her temper surface, but she couldn’t help but feel a deep-seated resentment toward the man who had fired Mitch. She wondered fleetingly about her conflicting reactions to the man—his touch, his words—but she pushed those provocative thoughts aside as she snapped the desk drawer shut, locked it and retrieved her car keys from her purse.
“I’m only trying to find out firsthand how the staff of this bank works,” he explained.
“So that you can fire us all?” she rifled back at him.
A twinkle lighted his steel-colored eyes. “Is that what you’re so upset over? You’re angry because I let Cameron go?”
How could she explain that everything about him upset her, threw her off balance. “It’s really none of my business,” she admitted, her poise and professionalism back in place.
“If it makes any difference to you, I have no immediate plans for—how shall I phrase it—restructuring the personnel of the bank. At least not until I see firsthand exactly how efficiently each department runs.”
“Except in Mitch’s case,” Erin prodded, still confused.
“Cameron was different, and as you so aptly stated, ‘it’s none of your business.’”
Kane pressed his hands together and his lips thinned. “Do you make a practice of working here alone?”
He prepared to analyze her response, but it seemed innocent. “Not usually. But as you must realize, Mitch had been wrapped up with your auditors and computer people.”
“And you had to assume his duties alone?” Kane guessed.
“Not entirely,” Erin conceded. “Olivia took over a few of Mitch’s clients…”
“Olivia? Parsons? The executive secretary?”
“She’s more than that. Actually an assistant officer,” Erin explained, thinking about the sultry woman who had once so openly flaunted her affair with Lee before the divorce was final.
Kane’s eyes never left Erin’s face. He noticed the embarrassed burn on her cheeks, the furrowed brows and the slight droop of her shoulders. Something was definitely bothering Miss O’Toole, and he meant to find out exactly what it was. He noticed that she picked up her purse, a gesture that indicated that she intended to leave. She couldn’t, not yet.
“If you’ll excuse me, Mr….Kane,” she requested. She started to walk past him, but his hand reached for her arm.
“You’re leaving?”
“That’s right,” she agreed but remained standing still, conscious only of the warm touch of his hand on her arm.
He grimaced. “I was looking forward to having someone here while I set up my desk.”
“But you didn’t expect anyone, did you?” she reminded him.
“No, I didn’t. But since you’re here, you might as well give me a rundown on exactly how this department functions—or at least the way it did in the past.”
“Sorry—I’ve got plans this afternoon,” she lied. He was still touching her and the feeling was delicious, warm, inviting. The dimly lit room was beginning to close in on her, and she knew that she had to get away from him and clear her head.
“What about tonight?” he persisted.
“Still busy.” She smiled up at him but felt her lips begin to tremble. He eyed her curiously and she wanted to shrink away from him and melt into him all in the same motion. As if he understood her feelings, he pulled her a little more closely and asked his final invitation in a whisper, his breath fanning lightly across her face. “What about tomorrow?”
Her eyes reached for his and she found it impossible to lie. “I…I don’t know.”
“Come on,” he persuaded. “I’m new in town. You can show me the sights.”
“I thought you wanted to discuss business….”
“We will.”
“I don’t date anyone I work with.” His eyes touched her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, her throat.
“Don’t think of it as a date,” he murmured enigmatically. “Consider it…an orientation meeting.”
“But…”
“I won’t take no for an answer. I’ll pick you up at ten.”
“No!”
Kane released her. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he stated as if it were already a fact.
She didn’t answer. Couldn’t. But she found the strength to tear herself away from the imprisonment of his stare and walk out of the office with as much pride as she could muster. She wasn’t thinking clearly; her thoughts were tangled in a web of emotions. Her mind was as ragged as her breathing, and there was an impulse and yearning that she had never experienced in her lifetime.
Once outside the building she hurried to her car and only paused to take in full, mind-clearing breaths of fresh air. Her fingers trembled as she fumbled with her keys. She kept telling herself that her reactions were bordering on insanity. She had met a man, a very attractive and charismatic man, under tense circumstances. The feelings that had flooded through her were merely a release of that tension—that was all.
But the more she tried to convince herself that she was once again in command of her feelings, the more helpless and vulnerable she felt. Not since her marriage to Lee had she let any man come so close to her, and the powerful magnetism and raw energy that she felt when she met Kane frightened her. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, let her emotions get so out of hand. She had to avoid being alone with him, for she couldn’t trust herself around him. In the past she had always scoffed at the kind of chemical attraction that had received so much public acceptance. Now she wasn’t so sure.
She started the engine and roared out of the parking lot, all the while mumbling to herself that she was acting irrationally.
* * *
Kane sat at his desk long after Erin had made her hasty departure. He had waited by the window until he had seen her actually leave the building and drive away. Now that she was safely gone, he lifted the long manila envelope from his briefcase.
The ordinary printouts that had seemed so dull yesterday had taken on a new luster and significance today. The desk chair groaned as he settled into it and pulled out the neatly typed report marked O’TOOLE, ERIN. He reread the information on its pages, slowly turning the facts over in his mind.
One piece of information leaped out at him. It seemed that Miss O’Toole had for a while been Mrs. Lee Sinclair before reassuming her maiden name after her divorce. Kane frowned deeply and inexplicably to himself. Erin had been employed by the bank for over ten years. In the past eight, with the aid of Mitchell Cameron, she had been rapidly promoted until she had reached her present position as second in command of the legal department. Quite an accomplishment for a thirty-two-year-old woman.
Kane rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he continued to study the file on Erin. It seemed that she had purchased a building a couple of years ago—with the help of an employee loan granted, of course, by Cameron. And just recently she had again applied for more funds, to renovate the building.
Several items didn’t add up in Kane’s mind. Erin seemed forever in need of money, but she had loaned her ex-husband a tidy sum about a year ago. A copy of the canceled check made payable to Lee Sinclair had been included in her file; Jim Haney had done his research well. The fact that she seemed always in debt was a bad sign. Also, for such a young woman, she had been promoted rapidly—too rapidly. Bad sign number two. And, from Cameron’s comments on her personnel evaluation reports, Mitchell Cameron had trusted her completely. Bad sign number three.
And what about today? She had called out Mitch’s name when Kane had entered her office. Was she expecting him, or had she merely been sent by Cameron to continue his dirty work? She had obviously spoken to Cameron last night; she admitted it herself. Just how deep was she in with Cameron and how much did she know? The suspicious questions rattled around in Kane’s head until he scowled to himself and threw the report on the desk.
It was difficult to imagine Erin O’Toole Sinclair as an embezzler. Although the evidence was stacking up against her, he couldn’t forget her delicate features and surprisingly innocent eyes.
Thoughtfully he rubbed the weariness from the back of his neck. Somehow the satisfaction that he had expected to feel while tracking Cameron’s accomplice was missing. He chided himself and accused himself of being a fool. He was beginning to soften where Erin was concerned, and he couldn’t let that happen, especially since she was probably robbing him blind at this very moment.
He slanted another severe glance at the file. The name that seemed to leap from the page at him was Sinclair. His lips drew into a thin, hard line. It was ludicrous, but the piece of information that bothered him the most wasn’t the incriminating evidence against Erin, but rather the fact that she had been married at one time. It was infuriating for him to imagine another man making love to the dark-haired woman with the wide eyes and provocatively defiant tilt to her chin, even if it had been years ago. He chuckled to himself humorlessly. What did he expect, anyway? That any woman that attracted him be a virgin?
It was the word that his own mind had used that jarred him back to reality. He was attracted to Erin, and he couldn’t allow himself that luxury. He couldn’t let her get under his skin, especially if she was indeed what he suspected her to be.
With a disgruntled shove, Kane pushed the file back into the drawer and slammed it shut. Then, after shaking himself mentally, he locked his desk, somehow wishing he could throw away the key.
Chapter 3
It was late afternoon by the time Erin arrived home. She had spent the day window-shopping and walking through the heart of the city, mindlessly watching the crowds of shoppers and breathing the salty air from the sound. She had avoided going home, content to wander among the tourists as she attempted to sort out her confused feelings. She didn’t want to deal with anything or anyone until she had set her uneven emotions back in balance. But try as she would, she was unable to push Kane Webster out of her thoughts.
Erin was angry and resentful of the way Kane had so high-handedly dismissed Mitch. She was offended by his insinuations that she had compromised her morals for career advancement by sleeping with Mitch. And, perhaps more than anything else, she was afraid of and uncertain about the feelings that he could stir in her with only a look or a touch of his fingertips. It was as if he were attracting her and repelling her at the same time. What was it about him that caused such warring emotions to battle in her weary mind? Something about him excited her, fascinated her, and she felt as helpless as a moth compelled to an irresistible flame. It was a flame that would surely burn her with a molten passion until she was consumed by heat and fire.
Even the old Victorian apartment house didn’t seem as comforting as usual. As Erin was about to mount the stairs to the loft, Mrs. Cavenaugh, oldest of the tenants, opened the door of her apartment and called to Erin before she could escape.
“Erin, honey,” Mrs. Cavenaugh cajoled sweetly while leaning heavily on her cane. “It’s already getting dreadfully cold in here. I thought you were going to do something about that insulation. The floor is just like ice, and it’s starting to bother my arthritis again.” The kindly, bespectacled old woman smiled at Erin.
“Yes, Mrs. Cavenaugh, I know,” Erin sighed as she paused on the lowest step. “And I promise that I’ll get some bids on the insulation this week. There…uh, have been a few changes at the office. I’ve been pretty busy and I guess I’ve been neglecting my duties around here. But that’s no excuse. I’ll take care of it.”
Wise, faded blue eyes scanned Erin’s face, and Mrs. Cavenaugh shook a slightly crooked finger at the younger woman. “I could tell that something was bothering you from the moment you dragged yourself through the door. It’s not that ex-husband of yours again, is it?”
“Oh, no! This has nothing to do with Lee…”
“Humph! Always said that boy would come to no good.”
Erin began to protest again, but Mrs. Cavenaugh would have none of it. “You know what you need, don’t you? A cup of my chamomile tea. A good strong one.” She gave Erin a knowing wink. “You’re in luck—I have a pot brewing this very minute.” A crafty look came over the wrinkled face, and she turned to lead Erin into her apartment.
“Oh, no, Mrs. Cavenaugh, I couldn’t…”
“Nonsense!” Mrs. Cavenaugh sputtered. “Now, you come in here and tell me what’s really bothering you!”
Erin stopped protesting to smile and follow the bent figure into her apartment. The poor dear woman wasn’t really looking for Erin to complain about the cold floors at all, Erin realized. Mrs. Cavenaugh just wanted some company to brighten the long afternoon and evening. Erin decided the least she could do was enjoy a cup of tea with her elderly tenant, even if it was the foulest concoction ever to be poured from a silver teapot.
As Erin expected, the long, lace-covered coffee table was already set for two. A service of shining silver teapot and fragile porcelain cups adorned the table, and the air was scented with the strong aroma of chamomile.
Erin sat graciously in the floral side chair while, with slightly shaking hands, Mrs. Cavenaugh poured the pale ochre liquid into one of the cups. “Sugar?” she suggested, and without waiting for an answer, dropped two lumps into the light-colored brew.
Erin took the cup and sipped at the tea while Mrs. Cavenaugh settled herself into her favorite worn rocker. “So now, Erin, tell me about your problems at work.” Light blue eyes sparkled with interest as Erin briefly sketched out her morning at the bank. Erin glossed over a few of the details, carefully omitting any references to the bevy of emotions that her new boss had aroused in her. But Mrs. Cavenaugh’s knowing eyes saw more than Erin had hoped to divulge.
“So this new boss of yours…what’s-his-name…” Mrs. Cavenaugh began.
“Mr. Webster.” Erin supplied the missing words.
“Yes…what’s he like?” Eyes, crinkled at the corners, stared earnestly at Erin over the rim of the tiny cup.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Erin said with a shrug, hoping that she appeared aloof. “He’s…all business, I suppose. You know, the typical banker type.”
“I wonder…” The old woman paused dramatically, but Erin refused to rise to the bait and defend her position. “You say that he let Mitchell Cameron go? Why?”
Erin frowned into her teacup. “I don’t know,” she replied earnestly. “But I intend to find out!”
Mrs. Cavenaugh’s laughter crackled through the apartment. “And I don’t doubt that you will.” Why did Mrs. Cavenaugh seem so pleased? “Do you expect to corner Mr. Webster at work on Monday and get to the bottom of this?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it. He wants me to meet him tomorrow—show him the city, let him know firsthand about the bank. But I don’t think it would be a good idea. You know how I feel about my free time…”
“Oh, nonsense!” The sweet, wrinkled woman smiled and waved her hand, dismissing Erin’s argument as if it were a bothersome insect. “Yes, I know all about your need for privacy, and I know why. But, Erin, it’s been eight long years since that louse of a husband walked out on you, and you can’t hide away forever. Why not have some fun with this Mr. Webster? How could it hurt?”
“I have no intention of ‘having fun’ with Kane!” Erin exclaimed, bristling. Mrs. Cavenaugh’s eyes seemed to dance at Erin’s familiar use of her employer’s first name. “If I were to go, it would be strictly as a business meeting!”
“Call it whatever you will, it doesn’t matter. But for goodness’ sake, honey, go!” Mrs. Cavenaugh seemed to sense that Erin was wavering, and she added one final incentive. “How else do you plan to find out about Mitchell Cameron, unless you confront this Webster? I would think that you would prefer to do it while you were alone with the man.” She seemed thoughtful for a minute, letting her teacup rest in her hand. “This isn’t the kind of thing that you would want to start a scene over—now, is it? It just wouldn’t do to let on to all of the employees. It’s too scandalous, don’t you think? What would it do to employee morale?”
Erin laughed at the thinly veiled attempts of the kind but conniving old woman to persuade her. “Why is it that I feel manipulated?”
Mrs. Cavenaugh spread her palms upward in a helpless motion, suggesting that she didn’t have the faintest idea what Erin was implying, but a devilish twinkle remained in her eyes.
“Look, Mrs. Cavenaugh, I just may go with Kane tomorrow. But don’t make anything more of it than what it is—a business meeting. I’ve seen that look in your eyes before, so don’t go playing matchmaker for me,” Erin warned with a pleasant smile as she set her empty cup on the table.
Mrs. Cavenaugh chose to ignore Erin’s bit of advice. “More?” she asked, holding the teapot in midair over Erin’s cup.
“No, thank you. I’m sorry, but I really do have to get upstairs. But you’re right,” she added, placing her palm on the hardwood planks of the floor, shiny with patina. “I think there’s a draft coming from the bay window.” She walked over to the window in question and ran her fingers around the sill. The cold air made her frown. “I’ll see to it that somehow we warm this place up before winter really sets in.” Erin dusted her hands off against her jeans. “Thanks for the tea.”
“Don’t mention it,” the elderly woman responded with a wave of her hand. “You know you’re welcome here anytime.” She was smiling smugly to herself, seeming quite pleased.
Erin let herself out of the quaint little apartment and headed up the stairs. She glanced at her watch and realized that it was too late in the day to get anyone out to weatherize Mrs. Cavenaugh’s apartment this weekend. She jingled the keys in the lock and gave a hefty shove to her own sticky front door. There were so many things that needed to be done to the apartment house and so little time and money to do them with.
With a sigh she took off her jacket and headed for the kitchen. As she made herself a quick sandwich she thought about Mrs. Cavenaugh. She was right, of course. The only logical way that she would find out the circumstances surrounding Mitch’s dismissal would be to confront Kane directly, especially since Mitch was so mysterious and cynical about the situation. However misguided Mrs. Cavenaugh’s motives were, Erin had to admit that the little old woman made sense. And, no matter what, she couldn’t run away from private discussions with her boss forever, could she? Any emotions that had started to entangle her would just have to be straightened out and dealt with in a professional manner.
The pastrami sandwich that she created tasted like mustard-covered cardboard, and after a few nibbles she put it back into the refrigerator. Mrs. Cavenaugh’s biting words came into her mind. “It’s been eight long years since that louse of a husband walked out on you. You can’t go on hiding forever!”
Is that what I’m doing? Erin wondered as she flopped down on the soft cushions on the couch. Am I hiding? From what—or whom? Ever since her personal life had been thrown open to the public, and she had become the object of speculative gossip, Erin had vowed to keep her privacy securely guarded. Lee’s open affair with Olivia had scarred Erin so badly that even today, eight years afterward, she refused dates with coworkers in an almost paranoid way. With the exception of a few close friends no one at the office had any ideas about her love life.
Some love life! She had to laugh at herself at the thought. Except for a couple of men who had interested her only slightly, she had hardly dated since the divorce. It was easier, and she preferred to keep her feelings under tight rein, thus avoiding any further conjecture about her personal life.
Eight years ago Lee had seen to it that Erin was the topic of conversation in the bank cafeteria. Whether he had intended that she discover his affair with Olivia, Erin couldn’t guess. But it hadn’t taken long to find out about his clandestine meetings with one of the most seductively beautiful women in the bank. When she had discovered the affair, Erin had crumbled. But Lee had seemed to blossom and feed upon her humiliation. Even during the first confrontation he hadn’t been upset or contrite but rather smugly proud. Erin and Lee had separated, and Lee’s fascination with Olivia continued to thrive. He was forever throwing the affair in Erin’s face as if, somehow, she was to blame for the failure of their marriage. For a while she had tortured herself with the same thoughts.
But as Lee’s attraction for uncomfortable confrontations with Erin increased, Erin realized that he drew a malicious satisfaction from taunting her. He saw to it that he and Olivia were everywhere that Erin went. During working hours he would come into the bank and meet Olivia for coffee. At office parties he would escort the sultry Olivia, never missing a chance to display his affection for her with a gentle kiss or a whispered endearment—always within eye- and earshot of his former wife. At the time Erin told herself that it shouldn’t bother her, and during the day she kept up a seemingly unconcerned and professional appearance. But at night, after long lonely hours working toward a law degree, she would find herself alone in the bed that she had once shared with Lee and she would cry bitter tears of frustration.
That was years ago, and somehow the pain had lessened. Now, looking back on the past, Erin wondered if she had ever really loved Lee. She had cared about him, yes, and her pride had been severely bruised by his betrayal. But she doubted that she had ever loved him, and certainly not with the passion that she knew he had found with Olivia.
After the liaison with Olivia had cooled, Lee had come back, hoping to rekindle the ashes of their broken marriage. Erin had waited for that day, falsely thinking that she would feel a vengeful satisfaction from slamming the door in his face. But when he had actually arrived on the doorstep, he looked tired and ragged. He was unshaven and had large purple circles under his eyes. His clothes were disheveled, and even his perfect blond hair had seemed to lack its usual luster. It had taken all of her strength to close the door on him in his embarrassed and confused state. She had turned him away, and instead of feeling the grim satisfaction of sweet revenge, she could only feel empty, dry and sad for her ex-husband. After locking the door, she had run into the bathroom and been sick for the rest of the afternoon, retching until her stomach had emptied and her body shook from the ordeal.
Erin stretched out on the couch and shook her head, trying to dislodge those vivid and melancholy memories of the past. She ran her fingers through the thick tangle of her black hair. The long evening stretched ahead of her as she clicked on the television to clear her head. The selection of sitcoms and variety shows was dismal, so she picked up a mystery novel that was guaranteed to interest her and curled up again on the antique sofa. But the spy thriller that should have held her attention, didn’t. She found her thoughts traveling backward in time to her marriage only to jump forward again to this afternoon and to Kane Webster. With a disgusted sigh she tossed the book onto the coffee table and stared into the dusk. She let her mind wander at will until late in the night.
* * *
The doorbell chimed precisely at ten o’clock the next morning. Erin paused for a moment as her defenses wavered at the thought of facing Kane alone. Impatiently the doorbell sounded again, and she forcibly steeled herself before opening it.
“I thought that just maybe you had run out on me,” Kane joked. He seemed affable, yet there was still that underlying hardness about him, a doubt that she had felt yesterday.
“I wouldn’t think of it,” she quipped back lightly, but felt her stomach tighten as she realized just how many times last night she had thought of avoiding meeting him.
“Good. Now, how about a cup of coffee?” he asked as he walked into the apartment and rubbed the chill out of his hands.
“Are you offering me one, or asking for one?”
Hearing the sarcastic tone of her voice, he cocked his head in her direction. “Are you angry with me already?”
Erin hadn’t realized until then that she was angry with him for setting her life off balance. “No…of course not. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” she apologized.
“Then you won’t mind if I use your phone?” he inquired. “I promised to call my daughter this morning, but I didn’t want to disturb her earlier.”
“The phone is in the bedroom,” she replied, and smiled at him for the first time that morning.
He excused himself and threw his jacket over the hall tree before he set off in the direction that she had indicated. Not wanting to intrude, she went into the kitchen and began brewing the coffee. The apartment was small, and it was impossible for her not to overhear part of his conversation, although she purposefully turned up the volume of the radio. The last thing she wanted to know about was Kane’s personal life. She had to try to keep things on a business level with him. Unfortunately even the classical music couldn’t drown out Kane’s voice as it rose in volume and unsuppressed anger.
“Krista! Don’t even suggest such a thing! I’ll be back in two weeks, and then we’ll move you up here…” There was a long pause, and then Kane’s voice softened. “I know how you feel, honey, honestly I do. But Dr. Richards thinks…” Another long pause. The conversation was extremely one-sided. “Look, Krista, I know that Aunt Sharon would like to have you stay until Christmas…. But the doctor and I think it would be best to get you into school here as soon as possible.” Silence. “We’ll talk about it later. Goodbye, honey.”
It was several minutes before Kane came out of the bedroom, and in that time the lines around his eyes had seemed to deepen. Although he managed a smile, Erin could see that it was forced. He was preoccupied and tense. Through the soft folds of the fabric of his lightweight sport shirt, Erin could see the contours of his muscles, and they were tight. He walked into the living room and stared out of the window without seeing.
There was something in the droop of his shoulders that made her want to reach out and place a comforting hand against his cheek. He was having problems with his adolescent daughter—that much was evident—and Erin wanted to soothe away some of the mental pain he was experiencing. But she hesitated and remained in the kitchen, dawdling over coffee that was already brewed. It was safer somehow, watching him from a distance, wishing that any pain that he might be feeling would disappear.
When at last he turned back to face her, some of the strain had left his face. He ran his gaze over the apartment, appearing to study its contents. At that moment Erin sensed that her life was laid bare to him. The dusty rose couch, her weathered volumes of Shakespeare, an array of slightly disheveled plants, the antique rocker—everything was explored by Kane’s cold gray eyes. It was as if, from the objects in the room, he could understand her and penetrate her soul. A part of her wanted to be examined by his eyes and touched by his mind, but another, more suspicious side of her objected to his appraisal.
Thoughtfully he picked up the discarded paperback mystery novel from the coffee table along with a worn volume of poetry by Keats. He opened the poetry book slowly and settled himself uncomfortably on the couch, with his long legs cramped under the coffee table. “You read this?” he asked, half to himself.
Erin poured the coffee but remained in the kitchen, still unsure of how to handle the conflicting emotions that surfaced each time she was alone with him. To answer his question she explained, “I read a variety of things, depending upon my mood.”
“So I see,” he agreed, eyeing the paperback spy thriller.
Suddenly she knew that she had made a mistake by seeing him in the intimacy of her own home. She felt too vulnerable, too transparent, too visible. Kane was alone with her, looking into the secret corners of her life, and unexpectedly she felt threatened. She had overheard part of his disagreement with his daughter, and she felt a desire to comfort him, and yet a need to turn her back on him and his problems. She couldn’t let his life get tangled with her own; hers was too complicated and too precarious. She had to work with him as an employee; she couldn’t let her emotions carry her away. She braced herself as she carried the two steaming mugs of coffee into the living room. “Kane,” she began, placing a cup near him, “I don’t think that it would be a good idea to go out today.”
“You want to stay in?” he asked, deliberately misinterpreting her. “That would be fine with me…. Thanks.” He reached for the cup and took an experimental sip while still watching her.
“No…I don’t want to stay here. What I mean is I don’t think that you and I should see each other…”
“Why not?”
“Because, for one thing, I make it a practice not to date anyone I work with.”
He smiled to himself. “Then obviously, you’re not as insecure about your job as you pretended to be yesterday. Wasn’t it just yesterday morning that you accused me of plotting to fire you, along with all the other employees of the bank?”
“You’re avoiding the issue,” she challenged, a feeling of exasperation beginning to wash over her. “I’m not up to playing word games this morning!”
“Then let’s be honest with each other, shall we? Why is it that you won’t go out with me?” he asked, his silvery eyes capturing hers.
How could she tell him what she herself really didn’t understand? Was it possible to explain that she felt a desire to be with him and an urge to run from him?
“Are you afraid of me?” His voice broke into her thoughts.
“No!”
“Well?”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to mix business with pleasure.”
“Then,” he seemed to agree, “let me assure you that you’ll have a very unpleasant afternoon!” He placed his cup down and smiled at her in a perfectly sickening and victorious manner.
“Be serious….”
“I am! So far, you haven’t given me any viable excuse for not spending a quiet afternoon together.”
“But I thought…”
“It doesn’t matter what you thought.” Kane reached for her hand across the table, stifling her protests. “I just want a chance to get to know you better. Is that such a crime?” His angled face was earnest and open. Any doubts she had conceived earlier were quickly cast aside with the touch of his hand on her palm and the peaceful serenity of his gaze.
“No…”
“Good! Then let’s go, shall we?”
She pulled her hand away from his and reached for her jacket. He pulled his legs from their bent position under the table, stood up and let his eyes roam over the apartment. His perusal was slow, steady and deliberate. Erin felt herself once again becoming more uncomfortable as the silent minutes passed.
“Do you like living here?” Kane finally asked, all of his attention drawn to the features of her face.
“Why do you ask?”
“I guess because this apartment house isn’t exactly what I expected.” He lifted his shoulders and shrugged into his jacket.
“Just what did you expect?” Erin was intrigued by the conversation. Perhaps if she could draw him out, he would explain his feelings about her and wash away those last traces of doubt that nagged at Erin’s mind. She could sense that there was something he wasn’t telling her. It was as if he was purposely being wary with her.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he began in answer to her question. “But this place—it seems a little out of character,” he remarked, looking at the faded Persian rug and running his fingers over the antique craftsmanship of the lead-glass windows.
“Out of character?”
“You’re a career woman, right?” he asked, and Erin nodded her head in agreement, all the while wondering what he was leading up to and somehow not wanting to know. “This apartment—for that matter, the entire building—just doesn’t fit with my interpretation of today’s liberated woman…”
“Why not?”
“Truthfully,” he chuckled, “because it looks like the set for one of those black-and-white slice-of-life movies of the forties.”
Erin arched an inquisitive black eyebrow. “And you expected smoked glass, chrome fixtures and black vinyl upholstery?”
“Something like that.”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” she quipped, leaning against the door.
“You haven’t disappointed me—not at all.” His eyes found hers for an instant, and then his gaze swept the loft. “I knew when I met you that there was a darker, more private side of you. A side that you prefer to keep hidden away. Am I right?” His hands came up to the door, pressing on the wood and creating an imprisoning barrier near her head.
Erin met his questioning gaze with defiance. He was too close to the truth, too close to her. She drew in a deep, trembling breath. “You’re right. I am a very private person, and I like it that way. What I don’t like is anyone coming into my home and attempting to psychoanalyze me!”
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but his eyes revealed only arctic cold. His breath whispered across her face. “Is that what I’m doing?”
“I hope not,” she breathed, trying to still her racing heartbeat. Surely he could hear it—he was so near.
His finger reached out and stroked her cheek and his eyes covered her face and throat. “Maybe it would be a better idea to stay here today,” he suggested silkily, but abruptly changed his mind. “On second thought it might be too dangerous to stay here…come on. I don’t like being late.”
“Late? For what?”
“You’ll see…” There was just a hint of intimacy in his tone.
Erin pulled her jacket tightly around her shoulders, as if she were experiencing a sudden chill. “What have you got planned for today? Where are we going?” she demanded.
“You really don’t want to know!” He moved one of his hands and helped her with the light calfskin jacket. His fingers brushed against her arm and lingered. Or did they? She pulled abruptly away from him and cinched the belt securely over her waist.
“Of course I want to know! Where are you taking me?”
“Just come along. And don’t try to kid me. I haven’t known you very long, but believe me, I know you well enough to realize that you like surprises and mystery in your life.”
“I’d just like to know what makes you such an expert on me,” she muttered and reached for the door angrily. She was angry because he was correct in his assumption about her, but she hated to admit it. Before she could open the door, he grabbed her forearm and whirled her around to face him.
His eyes reached into the depths of hers. “You can’t hide from me, Erin,” he whispered. “I won’t let you.” She could feel herself trembling at his touch. Her lips parted, but the denial that was forming in her mind died.
He lowered his head slowly, and his lips melted into hers in a kiss that was soft, beckoning and full of promise. She found herself yearning to respond to the warmth and tenderness of the embrace, but she forced herself to pull away. If he had any questions about her reaction to him, he didn’t ask them. Instead he pulled her tightly against him and led her down the steep steps of the apartment building.
There were many thoughts that crossed her mind, and just as many questions that didn’t have answers. She ignored the flood of emotions that carried her out of the house and into the sleek black sports car. Kane helped her into the car and then slid into the driver’s seat. He started the engine and the sporty machine roared to life. Neither Erin nor Kane spoke, and the silence was as heavy as the gray Seattle fog, but Erin discovered an inner warmth that she didn’t know existed.
Chapter 4
Kane drove steadily toward the heart of the city, carefully maneuvering the sporty little car down the steep inclines of the hills in order to save the muffler on the roller-coasterlike grade. Through the fog the gray waters of Elliott Bay lapped lazily against the waterfront. As they crested a final hill Erin was able to see the wharf and the bustle of activity along the crowded and colorful piers.
After parking the car, Erin and Kane strolled on the boardwalk that flanked the water’s edge. Kane’s hands were pushed deep into his pockets and his gaze slid over the water. Salt spray brushed against Erin’s cheeks in a chilling embrace. Seagulls marauded the shore, calling out their lonesome cries. White, gleaming ferryboats plowed their way through the water, leaving only a frothy wake on the gray-blue waters as they disappeared into the fog.
Kane led Erin into a tiny bistro on the wharf. The warmth of the cozy restaurant was a welcome relief from the chill of the seawater and fog. They were seated at an intimate table near the window where they could watch the activities along the piers from the shelter of the bistro.
As the waiter brought the fresh seafood omelettes, Kane studied his empty coffee cup before looking into Erin’s eyes.
“I suppose that you overheard my conversation with Krista.” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Part of it.”
“Why didn’t you ask me about her?”
Erin met his gaze unwaveringly and noticed the rigid line of his jaw. Was he always so tense when he thought about his child, she wondered to herself. Aloud she responded, “I didn’t want to pry.”
Kane took a deep breath and looked out over the waters. He seemed to be wrestling with a weighty decision. Finally he turned his head back toward Erin. “Krista’s handicapped.”
A startled look threatened to possess Erin’s features, but she managed to make her voice steady. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“So am I,” he groaned and threw his napkin on his empty plate.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Do you want to listen?” His face was a mask of indifference, as if he suddenly regretted his outward display of emotion. No, she wanted to scream. I don’t want to know anything more about you. I’m attracted to you and I’m afraid of the attraction. I can’t learn anything more about you that might bind me more tightly to you. I have to push away from you…I have to.
“Of course I’ll listen,” she murmured, quieting the voice of suspicion that nagged at her.
“Krista is eleven. She was ten when the accident occurred.” A dark, faraway look crossed his features. As he continued, his voice was flat, betraying no emotion. It was almost as if the words were part of a well-rehearsed speech, devoid of feeling or life. “She was riding in the car with her mother, my ex-wife. They were going to some ‘retreat’ or ‘support group’ meeting for the weekend. I really don’t know much about it except it was the latest self-improvement seminar to be offered. Jana, my ex-wife, was forever following the latest self-improvement craze. It was one encounter group after another. Maybe I’m in part to blame for that too.”
Kane shook his head, as if clearing out unpleasant memories. Erin waited in silence as he continued.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter what new kick she was on. It just so happened that she had called and told me where she was going. I was angry. I didn’t think that Krista needed to be exposed to all of that pseudopsychiatric garbage, and I told her so. We got into a helluva fight and she hung up on me. Two hours later I got a phone call from the police telling me that Jana was dead and Krista was in the hospital. To make a long story short, Krista’s been in and out of the hospital ever since. She’s still unable to walk unassisted.”
“She’s paralyzed?” Erin asked cautiously.
“Not exactly.” Kane’s eyes clouded for a minute. “It seems that she was lucky—nothing was actually broken in the accident. Jana was thrown out of the car and killed instantly, but Krista remained in the car, and other than a few cuts and bruises and a sprained left wrist, the doctors can find nothing physically wrong with her.”
“But…”
“I know.” Kane nodded his head. “It seems as if the cause of her paralysis is mental.”
“I don’t understand.” Erin’s brows knit in concern. What was Kane actually saying?
“I don’t either. But what I can gather from the doctors is that she blames herself, or perhaps me, for the accident.”
“No! That’s not fair!”
Kane shrugged his shoulders. “Why not? Maybe if Jana and I hadn’t fought, she would be alive today. Maybe the argument was the catalyst for her reckless driving.”
“You can’t blame yourself,” Erin argued.
“Then who can I blame?”
“No one. It was just an unfortunate accident…”
“Try explaining that to a ten-year-old girl who has just lost her mother.”
“Oh, Kane,” Erin sighed, and reached for his hand.
Her hand was warm and comforting, and for a moment Kane forgot that he suspected Erin O’Toole of thievery. What was it about her that had made him open up to her and tell her the story of Krista’s paralysis? Why was it so necessary that she know about him, that she care?
The waiter came to remove the dishes and bring the check. Kane helped Erin out of her chair and smiled disarmingly down on her. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t meant to bore you with my problems.”
“You didn’t bore me,” Erin admitted.
“Well, let’s push all those black thoughts aside for the day, shall we?” he asked, and took her hand powerfully in his. “I’m sure that when Krista gets up here and settles in, she’ll be fine.” Convincing as his words were, he didn’t seem to believe them himself.
It was nearly afternoon, and they hurried down the boardwalk to catch the Blake Island ferry to visit the Tillicum Indian Village. Once on the island, they were entertained by the folklore and art objects of the native inhabitants. Erin was fascinated by the blending of the modern and ancient cultures. The fog had lifted and the day was cool, but pleasant.
They spent the day hiking over the island and watching the everyday rituals of life in a tribal Indian village. Late in the evening Erin and Kane, along with the other tourists, were guests of the tribe and feasted on Indian baked salmon cooked in hot coals, as they had been for centuries. As twilight descended, the torches were lit, and Kane wrapped his arms possessively around Erin’s waist. They sat on the hand-carved stone steps of the amphitheater and watched the colorful display of folk culture as enacted by the inhabitants of the island. In the flickering light of the stars and the torches, Kane’s features looked stronger, more masculine. The scent of his cologne wafted over Erin, and involuntarily she pressed closer to him.
Darkness covered the island as the entertainment faded. Erin and Kane made their way back to the waiting ferry. The warm lights inside the vessel winked at them, but Kane led Erin onto the deck. The wind had become stronger, sending a salty spray into their faces as they stood on the deck of the boat and watched the sparkling lights of Seattle call to them across the narrow stretch of water.
Kane held Erin tightly, the power and warmth of his body molding to hers. During the day all of her defenses had melted. Ever since he had opened up to her and explained about his daughter, she had felt a kinship and warmth toward him. And the doubts that she had experienced were withering.
He stood behind her with the strength of his arms wrapped securely over her waist. They were silent as they watched the distance and felt the giant boat move through the black water. The engine of the large vessel whirred noisily and rhythmically and the darkened waters churned white as the ferry headed inland.
A light drizzle had begun, but Erin didn’t move, afraid to break the spell of the evening. Although the September nip in the air was cool, Erin was warm, pressed firmly against the heat of Kane’s body. It was as if they had made an unspoken pact that neither wanted to violate by speaking.
The drizzle increased into raindrops, and even the hardiest of the tourists shuffled into the interior of the ferry. Erin and Kane remained outside alone, content to feel the salty breeze against their faces and the heated promise of each other’s body. Kane nuzzled the back of her neck, letting the wind whip her hair over his face. She could feel her skin become alive with his touch, her blood begin to warm with his caress. Unconsciously she leaned closer to him.
He murmured her name, seeming to give it a special and intimate quality as it caught on the wind. She pivoted to face him and he cupped her chin in his hand before pressing the moist tenderness of his lips firmly over hers. She parted her lips involuntarily, letting his tongue trace a silken path over her mouth tentatively before slowly and sensuously exploring the moist recess and enticing her to do the same. He wrapped himself more closely around her as his tongue stroked and danced with hers.
The rain came down in silvery droplets, sliding over Kane’s face and past Erin’s cheek to her throat and finally to hide below the collar of her blouse. Kane’s kiss deepened and his hand moved gently but persistently against her back. His lips roved over her face and neck, kissing and licking the drops of rain from her eyes, cheeks and throat. An urgent moan escaped from his lips, and he finally pulled his face away from hers. His eyes slid over her body, seeming to probe every inch of her being. They had darkened to misty gray, and a pulsating passion was blazing in their dark depths.
A raindrop passed over Erin’s neck, and Kane stooped to kiss it away, his lips brushing over the hollow of her throat. She shuddered, more from his delicate kiss than from the cool night air. Her knees buckled and he pulled her to him, but a blast from the ferry’s horn announced that they were docking. All too soon the jewellike lights of the city had blossomed into streetlamps, and the intimate water journey was over.
They walked back to the car in silence, each absorbed in private thoughts. Erin wondered how she could possibly work for a man she needed so passionately as a woman. And what about his daughter, who blamed him for his wife’s death? And Mitch—could she bring up the subject of Mitch’s dismissal with Kane, or would it be the wedge that would come between them? For, as unlikely as it seemed, Erin was unwittingly beginning to look upon herself and Kane as a man and woman with a deep understanding of each other. But that’s crazy, the realistic side of her mind argued. You don’t even know the man.
And Kane wondered about Erin. Could this enigmatic and beautiful woman really be a viable suspect in the embezzling scheme? She seemed so…innocent, if that was the right word. It was so easy to talk with her; he had already confided in her concerning Krista. That was probably a mistake, he thought now. But for the moment he didn’t want to believe anything about Erin other than what he felt. She was bewitching and he meant to find out all he could about her—tomorrow. Tonight he just didn’t give a damn whether she was embezzling or not.
The black sports car whipped through the quiet streets, sending sprays of water as its tires slashed pools of standing water. The windshield wipers moved in tempo, pushing the raindrops off the glass. Night closed in on Erin as the black interior of the car seemed to melt into the darkness of the evening.
Erin’s senses were heightened. In the warmth of the enclosed sports car, she could smell the tangy scent of Kane’s cologne and the masculine essence of his rain-drenched body. For the entire short ride Erin was aware of the man next to her. As he shifted gears, she could see the long hard lines of his fingers and the athletic slant of his legs straining against the fabric of his pants. She had trouble concentrating on anything other than his potent masculinity.
As they approached the apartment house, he killed the engine and sat motionless, his hands still gripping the steering wheel. He glanced toward the windows of Erin’s third-floor apartment.
Erin cleared her throat. “Would you like to come in? For a drink—or a cup of coffee?”
He rotated to face her, and even in the darkness she imagined flames of smoldering passion burning in his eyes. “I’d like it very much.”
He opened the door for her and they walked up the long staircase noiselessly. Although they didn’t touch, Erin felt a bond between them bridging the inches of open air that separated their bodies. She licked her arid lips as she reached into her purse for her keys. Many emotions had come and gone since he had hurried her out of the apartment this morning. God, was it only twelve hours ago? Erin had hesitated only slightly when she thought about asking him up to her apartment. She knew how precarious it was for her to be alone with him, but she couldn’t resist extending the invitation and the evening. Mrs. Cavenaugh had been right; she had hidden herself away from the world of men for much too long.
Her fingers shook as she tried to unlock the door, and Kane took the keys from her hand. He escorted her through the doorway and into the small apartment. Erin went through the motions of taking off her jacket, but her mind was on Kane and the intimacy of the apartment. There was no place to hide. “Could—I offer you a drink?”
He took off his jacket and let it fall casually across the arm of the couch. “Sure.”
Erin moved into the kitchen and opened the liquor cabinet, but her thoughts didn’t leave Kane. Although he was in the living room, the air was charged with electricity and anticipation. It was difficult to think, to move. Why had she asked him up to her loft, and why had he accepted?
She managed to put together some Irish coffee, and the cups were steaming as she carried them into the living room. Kane was standing at the window, looking into the night as if he could penetrate the darkness. His shirt was moist and clung to his body, and the ripple of his muscles was evident through the fabric.
When she entered the room, he turned to face her. His face was ragged, torn with emotion, and she knew that he was as tense as she. “Anything wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he whispered, but the besieged look on his face didn’t disappear. “Thanks,” he said with a tight-lipped smile and sampled the hot drink.
“There is something wrong,” she challenged. “I can feel it. It’s something about me, isn’t it?”
“You’re imagining things,” he retorted, and took a long swallow of his drink.
“No…I’m not. It all started yesterday, at the office.”
His gray eyes bored into her, daring her to continue. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I think that you do. You were angry that I was at the office—don’t deny it. And all of those ridiculous questions about Mitch. It has something to do with him, doesn’t it?”
“Why don’t you tell me,” he suggested huskily. “What do you know about Mitchell Cameron?”
“Nothing—except that you fired him, and I don’t know why!”
He set his cup down on the table and strode quietly over to where she was standing. His voice was barely audible, but he pinned her with his gaze. “You can’t even hazard a guess?” he coaxed.
“No!”
“Why don’t you try?” His fingers reached upward and found the nape of her neck. He lifted her hair from her shoulders and clasped both of his hands gently around her neck, massaging her shoulders through the light rain-washed fabric of her blouse.
“I have no idea. I only know that the legal department wasn’t profitable…” His gray eyes snapped.
“Is that it? Would you let him go because of one bad year?”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how you work…”
“Sure you do,” he suggested smoothly, and Erin felt that she had known him all of her life.
“Aren’t you going to finish your drink?” she asked, not able to concentrate on anything other than the warm enticement of his hands. His thumbs traced lazy patterns of seduction along her throat, gently persuading her mind to think of nothing other than his overpowering maleness.
His eyes looked over at the half-full cup of Irish coffee. “Is that my cue to leave?”
Erin braced herself, trying to ignore the dizzying sensations that seemed to build up from within her and explode at his touch. “It’s…it’s getting late.”
“And you’d like to go to bed?” he cajoled, his dark eyes alive.
“I…you…we have to work in the morning,” she stammered, her senses reeling from his closeness.
“That we do,” he agreed.
Erin’s pulse was beginning to dance wildly as Kane’s hands coaxed her to newer heights of sensuality. She could feel his breath, smell his clean masculine scent, and she knew that he was going to kiss her.
His arms moved to her waist and coiled possessively around her as his mouth brushed velvet-soft kisses down her cheek and throat. Her head fell backward, and he rained kisses up and down the length of her exposed neck. Erin’s chest grew tight, and her breath began to whisper in short, shaky breaths.
His hands toyed at the hem of her blouse, at first tentatively, and finally with determination as he tugged the blouse out of the waistband of her slacks. His fingers explored the soft, supple muscles of her back, warming her skin to a rosy glow. Her knees began to give way, and he caught her, pushing his lips over hers in silent union. She moaned, and at the invitation of her parted lips, his tongue found hers, flicking and dancing with moist sparks of unfettered passion.
Moving steadily upward, his hands inched up her spine in a delicious spiraling motion. Her skin heated and caught fire. All her nerve endings ignited in hot boiling passion. His fingertips slowly and sensuously moved forward until he was kneading the tight muscles of her abdomen.
Her breasts ached against the confinement of her bra, and when at last his fingertips played with the lacy garment, she sighed. He pushed her gently and persuasively to the floor, and she felt the cool floorboards press against her fevered flesh. Slowly he let his hands slide to the buttons of her blouse, slipping each button easily through the buttonholes. As the blouse parted he unleashed her breasts from the lacy bra. “God, but you’re beautiful,” he moaned, looking directly at the full white curves of her soft breasts.
She felt her fingers working at the buttons of his shirt. When at last it was opened, and the expanse of golden bronze skin was visible, she moaned with pure animal pleasure. “So are you,” she said huskily, watching his firm muscles flex under her admiring gaze.
His thumbs idled over her nipples as he fondled her breasts. Masterfully, he enticed her nipples to erection, and a smile of triumph lighted his eyes as he noticed them harden. He looked once into her eyes, the smoky gray of his gaze blending into the lilac-blue passion of hers.
It was as if she were drugged; all she could concentrate on was taking and giving pleasure. Her female body was overshadowing her mind. As Kane loved her, explored her, exulted in her, she, too, took satisfaction from touching and enticing him. Body was controlling mind in the sweet dreamlike mist of lovemaking.
They rolled together on the floor, and he rained kisses upon her face, her neck, her breasts. His tongue licked paths of fire over her body and kindled an aching need in her innermost core.
Endearingly his mouth descended on her breasts, and he suckled as if a babe, kneading the sensitive tissue with his hands as his lips lured love from her nipples. His body was upon hers and she felt the bittersweet pain of his weight over her. The cold floorboards touched her back, and his warm, naked torso inflamed her soul, causing boiling currents of lava to course through her veins.
“Oh, Erin,” he called against her, and her pounding heart was triggered to a more passionate rhythm. He tore himself away from her and saw the disappointment in her eyes.
“I want to go to bed with you,” he breathed, “and I want to make love to you.”
“Are…are you asking me?” she gasped, drawing much needed air into her lungs.
“I’ve been asking you all night.” He levered himself over her and leaned on one elbow while one hand still massaged her breasts.
“I want to…” she murmured, closing her eyes and trying to think rationally. Would the ache subside? Would she really be able to make love to him? Would she be able to stop?
“But…” he prodded, his breath ghosting over her hair.
“But…” She breathed heavily. “But…I’m afraid.”
“Of what? Me?”
“No…”
“Then it must be that you’re afraid of your husband,” he guessed.
“Lee? How did you know about him?”
“A small surname discrepancy in your personnel file.”
“Oh,” she murmured, pulling her blouse over her breasts. Suddenly she felt conspicuously naked.
“He is the problem, isn’t he,” Kane asked gently, but there was a cold and calculating edge to his voice.
“No…Lee has nothing to do with us,” she managed, but her mercurial temperature had cooled.
“You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” His eyes regarded her gently, and he pulled her closer to his body and rocked her.
“No…you’re wrong. You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not in love with Lee. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really was.” His eyes followed hers to look out the window. “Oh, I thought I loved him, once, but some of the things that he did…that he said…” She still couldn’t talk about it without getting a catch in her throat.
“Erin, honey. It’s been a long time, and still he affects you. Are you sure that you’re not still emotionally involved with him?”
Tears began to flow from her eyes, and he brushed them away. She tried to look away from him, but he forced her head in his direction, softly cupping her chin in his fingers. His movements were gentle, but his thoughts were grim. Lee Sinclair, whoever the hell he was, had scarred Erin, and Kane meant to know all about him.
“Have you seen him recently?”
“No…he moved to Spokane about a year ago.” For some reason Erin couldn’t tell Kane about the phone calls and the fact that Lee was back in Seattle.
Kane continued to rock her in silence, only the thin line of his lips belying his calm and comforting actions. Slowly Erin composed herself. She wondered how she had ever let things get so out of hand. She felt an embarrassed burn on her cheeks as she realized that she was sitting half-naked on the floor of her apartment with her new boss, weeping like a teenager, nearly jumping into bed with him. It was frightening and confusing, completely out of character.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, managing a feeble smile. “I really don’t know why I fell apart.”
“It’s all right. Here.” He pulled the afghan from the couch and wrapped her in its rainbow-colored tiered folds. “Are you sure that you’re okay?” She nodded, and he rose from the floor, pulling her with him. “Why don’t you go in and get in bed? I’ll bring you some tea.”
“No! Oh, no…I’m fine, honestly.” She was embarrassed by her emotional outburst, and the last thing she wanted was that her boss should wait on her. She hiked the awkward blanket over her shoulders, but it seemed determined to slide to the floor.
“You’re sure?” he asked, cocking a suspicious eyebrow in her direction and buttoning his shirt.
“I’m sure.” Her voice was still husky, but the firm quality and tone that he recognized as control were back in her words.
She could tell that he was reluctant to leave, but after a final kiss to her forehead, and his hastily scribbled hotel phone number, he left her alone.
After he closed the door, she listened to the sound of his shoes clicking down the steps. Silently she counted them. Finally she heard the front door open and close with a thud. A sporty engine roared to life and faded into the night. Erin felt more alone than she had in years.
Chapter 5
The morning newspaper was spread before her as Erin sat down to a light breakfast of toast and jam. Her eyes wandered aimlessly over the headlines on the front page, but her mind refused to budge from the intimate moments she had shared with Kane. What had seemed a natural and beautiful lovemaking experience in the darkness had somehow lost its enchantment in the morning light. It wasn’t that she regretted getting to know Kane, not at all. But he was her boss, and she couldn’t let her body control her mind where he was concerned. Professionally it just wasn’t sound judgment to get emotionally involved with an employer. And, although she could still conjure up the enigmatic image of his tanned masculine body and mirthless gray eyes, she wouldn’t let it control her.
She applied a healthy spoonful of raspberry jam to her toast as she turned to the financial section. As her eyes met the black-and-white photograph of Mitchell Cameron, she let the knife fall to the table. The picture was several years old, and Mitch was smiling with his pleasant self-assured grin, but the caption in black boldface print captured her attention. FINANCIAL LAWYER ALLEGED THIEF—and in smaller print—Mitchell Cameron Accused of Embezzling Bank Funds.
“Oh, no!” Erin gasped, and her eyes read and reread the newspaper article several times. “There must be some mistake,” she murmured to herself. “There has to be!” According to the article Mitch had been manipulating bank funds for the better part of two years. When the bank was sold, an audit found him out, and the new president, Kane Webster, had fired Mitch. The police were summoned and Mitch would be arraigned for indictment within the week.
Erin raced to the telephone and dialed Mitch’s number. A busy signal beeped flatly in her ear. Either Mitch had taken the receiver off the hook, or he was already being plied by inquisitive friends and reporters.
As quickly as possible she scooped up the paper, grabbed her purse and slipped on her coat. She took the steps two at a time and nearly ran over Mrs. Cavenaugh on her way out the door. On the run, she apologized to the startled old woman and hurried out to the car. She turned the ignition, the little car sparked to life and Erin proceeded on a mad dash to the bank, hampered only by the early-morning rush-hour traffic.
When she got to the bank, it was already crawling with employees. Although it was still early, it seemed that everyone had arrived with time to spare on this first day of new bank ownership. Erin pushed herself into the crowded elevator and wedged herself between two women.
“Have you seen the paper today?” a middle-aged woman with a faddish, curly hairstyle asked her friend.
“Not yet—I usually wait until coffee break. There’s just not enough time in the morning, what with getting the kids off to school, you know,” the shorter woman in a pink raincoat replied.
The elevator started its upward motion. “Then you haven’t heard about Mitchell Cameron?” the curly-haired woman asked.
“Cameron? The head of the legal department?”
“That’s right. Seems that the new president—that Mr. Webster—had him fired.”
“No!”
“That’s right,” the taller woman said with a firm shake of her head. Her voice lowered, and she looked over her shoulder as she continued. “They suspect that Mr. Cameron was involved in some embezzling scheme…”
“The head of the legal department? Are you sure?”
Erin pretended not to hear the conversation. The elevator stopped on the seventeenth floor and the two women continued their conversation as they disembarked. Erin closed her eyes for a minute. By this time the entire bank staff had heard about Mitch. Could it possibly be true? She fervently hoped that Kane was wrong about Mitch.
The elevator stopped with a jolt, and Erin walked into the legal department. She was early, and only a few of the more aggressive young employees had made it to their desks. There were a few new faces in the crowd, probably some of Kane’s imported troubleshooters from California, Erin guessed as she passed by the reception area and picked up her telephone messages. The most compelling of the notes was a handwritten memo from Kane indicating that he wanted to see her in his office immediately.
After taking off her coat, she armed herself with the newspaper and marched into his office. An eerie, nostalgic feeling gripped her when she discovered that the familiar brass nameplate of Mitchell Cameron had been torn from the door. Only two fine drill holes remained in the wood panels to remind Erin that just last week Mitch had occupied this office.
Kane was sitting behind the desk when she entered. He motioned her to be seated in one of the side chairs as he finished scribbling some notes on a legal pad. But instead, she remained standing with her arms folded against her chest. The rolled newspaper was clamped firmly under her left arm.
“Have you seen the paper?” she asked him, echoing the conversation she had overhead in the elevator.
“Yes,” he replied, looking up from his work.
“And you read the article on Mitch?” she accused.
“I’ve read several, starting last evening,” he replied evenly. His eyes searched her face and he studied her intensely.
“Is it true?” she asked, her incredulity registering on her face. “Did Mitch really embezzle? How do you know—and why did you let the press find out about it? Do you know what you’ve done? You’ve ruined his career. He worked for this bank for over twenty years, and in one clean sweep you destroyed him!”
Her voice had risen with her emotion. She flung the paper onto his desk and turned her head away, biting on her fingernail and trying to piece together her shattered poise. Kane rose from the desk and crossed the room to close the door. He came back beside her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Gently he rubbed the tension out of her neck and shoulders.
“Don’t,” she implored. “Don’t touch me—just give me answers, preferably straight ones!”
His fingers stopped their comforting motion but remained against the back of her neck. Her hair was pinned into a businesslike knot, twisted behind one ear, and Kane rested his hands on her exposed neck. Her head was bent, and she pressed a hand to her forehead as she waited for his explanation.
His voice was low and soft as he began to speak. “You’ve met my associate, Jim Haney?” His fingers felt the barest of movements as she nodded. “During the conversion, while Jim was still working here in Seattle, he…discovered that funds were being funneled out of some of the larger trust accounts. It took Jim quite a while, but finally he tracked down the culprit.”
“Mitch?” she asked in a voice that was barely audible.
“Yes.”
“But…how can you be sure?” She pivoted her head upward to find his face, and there was an unhidden pain in the depths of her eyes.
“Erin. We caught him red-handed. There’s no doubt.” The words were spoken softly, but there was an almost cruel hardness in his features.
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she forced them backward and vainly attempted to keep her voice from shaking. “I…I just can’t believe it.” She averted her face from his intent study.
Kane propped her chin between his fingers and let his thumb rub it caressingly while tracing the line of her jaw. “You were very close to him?” he asked gently.
Erin shook her head faintly and bit her lip. “He’s been a good friend to me.” Her eyes were shining with unshed tears when she looked up at Kane’s face once more. “He…he helped me through a very difficult time in my life…” she explained, and gave in to the urge to lean against him. His arm wrapped securely around her, and for a moment Erin forgot everything other than Kane’s comforting presence. This couldn’t be the same coldhearted man who had fired Mitch, could it? Had Mitch really stooped to thievery?
“The difficult time,” he whispered. “The divorce?”
She nodded mutely against the smooth fabric of his jacket.
A knock resounded on the thick mahogany door, and before Kane could respond, the door swung open. Olivia Parsons, with all of her self-assurance and poise in place, breezed into the room with only a brief apology.
“Excuse me, Mr. Webster…Erin.” She included Erin out of courtesy. Her cool green eyes swept over the intimate scene before her, and although they reflected a glimmer of interest, her professional aplomb never wavered. Erin moved away from Kane with as much grace as was possible, but she was sure that Olivia hadn’t missed the tender embrace between employer and employee. “I didn’t mean to disturb you, but your secretary indicated that you needed these financial statements before the board meeting this afternoon.” The tall brunette with the svelte figure and sleek Halston original dress handed Kane the stack of papers that she was carrying. The confident smile that she was wearing never left her face.
“You must be Miss Parsons,” Kane surmised, his eyes traveling appreciatively over the neatly typed pages.
“Please call me Olivia,” she responded. She gave Erin a fleeting head-to-toe appraisal, as if seeing her for the first time. Turning back to Kane, she continued. “I really didn’t know that you were busy,” she apologized again, and Erin felt a tide of crimson creep steadily up her neck.
“No problem,” Kane assured Olivia, and escorted her out of the room. “Thank you for taking the time to bring the reports by.”
“Anytime,” Olivia suggested in a voice so throaty that Erin barely heard it.
Once Olivia had made her exit, Kane closed the door and deliberately turned to face Erin. His back was pressed firmly against the polished wood grain of the door, as if he were using his own body as a barricade against another intrusion. His body had stiffened, and all of the familiar fondness had escaped from his features. His face had become a mask devoid of emotion, and his words were no longer tender or caring. They were brittle in the air.
“I don’t think that my office is the place to continue this discussion,” he said tersely.
“I think it’s a perfect place to discuss Mitch—right in the middle of his office!”
“Is that how you still think of it, as Mitch’s office? If so, you had better change your mind. Mitchell Cameron is gone. He was an embezzler—a thief—and he’s no longer with Consolidated Finances. I hope that fact doesn’t hamper your work.” He strode across the room to the desk. “We can discuss this later…tonight if you like. But right now I’m very busy.” He sat at the desk and started reading the reports that he had received from Olivia.
Erin watched him with disbelieving eyes. How could he change so rapidly? It was as if he were a kind, considerate gentleman one moment and a heartless bastard the next. He looked up at her and flashed a perfectly condescending smile at her, but she knew it was an act. She had been with him enough to recognize the cool distance in his gray eyes.
“You’re the one who called me in here,” she reminded him, and waved the green personal memo in the air. “Just what was it that you wanted to discuss?”
The petrified smile fell from his face and a darker, more volatile expression took over. “I wanted to ask you to dinner tonight.”
“You’ve got to be kidding! First you call me in here. Then you nearly throw me out. And now you expect me to go out with you?” Sarcasm dripped from her words. “Not a chance!”
“Why not?”
Erin sighed wearily, tired of the argument. “For the same reasons that I spelled out to you yesterday.”
There was a pool of darkness in his eyes. “You’re afraid of me, aren’t you?” he suggested, and then continued. “Or is it yourself who scares you?”
“It has nothing to do with fear, and you should know it! It’s just that I don’t think it would be good for either of us, professionally that is, to be the subject of office gossip or speculation.”
“Don’t you think that you’re putting the cart before the horse?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she sighed.
“In order for there to be any gossip, there’s got to be a glimmer of truth. Someone has to start the rumors, and since I’m not one to ‘kiss and tell,’ I’ve got to assume that you are. Otherwise, there would be no cause for concern, would there?”
“You don’t understand,” she accused with a vehemence that interested Kane. “Gossip…it can be vicious—ugly! It can ruin your life!”
“Only if you let it—the same as anything else. Now, why don’t you be honest with me—no, make that honest with yourself—and tell me what’s really bothering you. I can’t believe that a little innocent speculation about what you do after-hours is all that traumatic. For God’s sake, Erin, you’re a thirty-year-old divorcée, not a whimpering virgin! What kind of lily-white reputation are you trying to create?”
Her eyes narrowed and she planted her hands firmly against her hips. “The point is that I like to keep my personal life just that—private! And even though you and I won’t go around telling anyone that we’re seeing each other, believe me, the word will get out.”
“And everyone will just naturally assume that because we’re dating we’re sleeping together, right?” he surmised, elaborating on her logic. He threw the neatly stacked reports down into an unruly pile on his desk and covered the floor space that separated them in long, swift strides. He didn’t touch her, but he was close enough that she could feel the delicious warmth of his breath as it fanned against her hair. She stood her ground, not moving an inch, but every nerve ending of her body was rigidly aware of him and his nearness. “And even if some of the people around here think that we sleep together”—his fingers touched the silken skin of her cheek softly—”what’s so bad about that? What do you care what other people think?”
Erin’s lips thinned into a white line. She tried to control her temper and ignore the warm feelings that Kane was commanding from her. She pushed herself away from him in order to think clearly and avoid the compelling magnetism that seemed to surround him. “I’ve worked very hard to get where I am with this bank, and I don’t need the frustration of knowing that coworkers think that I sleep with the boss to promote my career.”
“Would you mind it if they thought you slept with the boss because you wanted to and not for career reasons?”
“You can’t possibly understand!” she whispered, and turned on her heel to leave.
As she pushed open the door to make her exit, she heard Kane’s parting words. “You, Miss O’Toole, are paranoid! And I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty!”
Kane’s voice boomed through the open door. Several of the secretaries looked up from their typewriters to stare openly at Erin. She tried to ignore their curiosity and continued toward her office. She could feel their speculative glances boring holes into her back, but she managed to return to the security of her office with a modicum of poise.
Outwardly she controlled her ragged Irish temper, but once in the sanctity of her own office, she could feel the fumes of anger rising steadily within her. No doubt half of the legal department had already sized up her situation with the new boss, and it wasn’t even ten o’clock yet! She tried to concentrate on her work, and she told herself not to be childish, but she couldn’t help but feel that Kane had betrayed her trust by announcing that he planned to see her after work. To make matters worse, he had brushed off the subject of Mitch’s dismissal with an arrogant wave of his hand and very little explanation.
During the remainder of the day Erin saw little of Kane. All of his contact with her came via his secretary in the form of interdepartmental memorandums. They had no personal contact. She had seen him only in passing, and he had smiled at her with the same polite but less than enthusiastic smile that he rained upon all of his employees. He showed her no special attention, which was exactly what she had wanted. And yet, a small and very feminine part of her yearned for the vaguest sign of emotion from him. Affection, endearment, friendship—anything that demonstrated that he cared for her in a more intimate way.
For most of the afternoon she attempted to bury herself in her work to avoid any further confrontations with Kane. It also helped her ignore the whispers about Mitch and the speculations about the embezzlement.
It was long after five o’clock when she rose and tucked away the paperwork that was still spread unfinished on her desk. Although she had worked diligently, she had accomplished very little because of her preoccupation with Kane. He had asked her out early that morning, and she had refused, but her mind had wandered relentlessly back to the invitation. What would it hurt? her persuasive mind taunted.
But what good would it do, her more rational nature inquired. Yes, Kane was an interesting man, and yes, she would like to spend some time alone with him, and perhaps she would, if circumstances were different. But as things stood, she couldn’t reconcile herself to live a double life of daytime employee and nighttime lover. No matter how she would try to convince herself otherwise, she was attracted to Kane as she never had been to any other man. Given an alternative set of circumstances, she knew that she could fall deeply in love with him. But, as fate would have it, she couldn’t allow herself the pleasure of falling in love with a man for whom she worked.
It had taken her all day to come to the decision that she would have to explain her position to Kane once and for all. She threw her coat over her arm and clicked off the lights to her office. Most of the staff had left the building, but she knew that Kane was still working. She could hear his voice through the door. Rather than disturb him, she continued past his office toward the elevator.
Before the elevator doors parted, the door to Kane’s office opened. Erin quickly resolved to herself that this would be as good a time as any to have it out with him. She turned to face him and discovered that he wasn’t alone. Olivia Parsons was with him, looking as if she was hanging on his every word. Rather than intrude, Erin whirled and faced the elevator. Just as the doors were opening, Erin heard Kane call out to her.
“Erin, wait!” Kane hurried to Erin’s side. “I’m glad I caught up with you. Do you need a ride home?”
“I’ve got my car,” Erin replied, a little tartly. Why did Olivia always seem to be a part of the conversation? She looked cautiously at Olivia, but the calm expression on the brunette’s face didn’t appear to hold the slightest hint of interest.
“Then I’ll see you at seven-thirty,” Kane rejoined.
Erin looked from Kane to Olivia and back to Kane. “I…don’t think so…not tonight.” Olivia’s eyebrows raised just a fraction of an inch. The gesture was almost unnoticeable, but Erin caught the movement and the silent gleam of fascination in Olivia’s perfect green eyes.
“Going out?” Olivia asked casually. “I don’t blame you. Who wants to cook after a full day at the office?”
Erin couldn’t resist the temptation of disagreeing with Olivia. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve always enjoyed cooking.”
Olivia’s face registered disbelief, but it was Kane who answered. “Good!” he interjected. “I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in ages. We’ll eat at your place.”
Erin was about to reject Kane’s suggestion, but Olivia stilled Erin’s tongue. “That’s terrible!” she sang out sweetly to Kane. “I tell you what. Why don’t you come over to my house for a special dinner? We’ll have fresh seafood from Puget Sound…”
“Thanks, Olivia. I appreciate the hospitality.” Kane seemed to agree, and Erin could feel her heart beginning to shred. Kane shot Erin a questioning look and continued, “But I’ve got other plans.” His response was gentle but firm.
“Some other time…” Olivia persisted, only slightly dejected.
“Some other time,” Kane agreed evasively.
There was a slight pause in the conversation, and finally Olivia broke the silence. “I guess I’d better be running along. I’ll see you in the morning.” Although the farewell was meant for both Erin and Kane, Olivia’s warm green eyes looked directly into the cool gray depths of Kane’s gaze. Erin could almost see the invitation in those emerald pools.
Olivia slipped into the elevator, and it started its descent before Erin began. “Look, Kane. I’ve made a decision. You can’t come over tonight…and I can’t go out with you. It’s as simple as that!”
She pressed the elevator call button and waited for Kane’s reaction. She expected that he would be violent, but when he spoke it was with quiet deliberation.
“You…would deny me a home-cooked meal?” he asked, and there was a mischievous smile in his eyes.
“Of course not, but you’ve got to understand…”
“It’s settled then. I’ll bring the wine.” He slipped his hand beneath her elbow and guided her into the elevator. As the doors shut he wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her feverishly on the lips. All of the warmth and intimacy that had been denied during the day was surfacing again in his passionate embrace.
Before Erin could respond, the elevator stopped on the fifth floor, and Kane released her to smile at two of his new employees. Erin was sure that even in the slightly dimmed elevator light, the two young women could see her swollen lips and the trace of passion still lingering in Kane’s eyes. When she stepped out of the building she hurried to her car, and Kane didn’t follow. How was she going to deal with him and the web of emotions that was entangling her more tightly each day?
It was crazy and she knew it, but she felt that she was beginning to fall in love with Kane Webster. The thought made her shudder as she reached for the headlights and the windshield wipers. You’re a damn fool, Erin O’Toole, she chided herself. She couldn’t be, wouldn’t be, in love with her boss. It was an impossible and ridiculous situation, but nonetheless, it existed.
She was still arguing with herself as she stopped the car in her familiar spot in front of the apartment house. She bent her head against the wind and slight drizzle of the evening. A welcome light came from Mrs. Cavenaugh’s window and Erin stopped at the doorway to the little old lady’s apartment. She waited several minutes before Mrs. Cavenaugh’s voice called through the door.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me, Mrs. Cavenaugh…Erin,” she responded, and immediately heard the click of locks as Mrs. Cavenaugh opened the door. The old woman peeked timidly through the crack in the door before removing the final chain and opening the door widely.
“Come in…come in,” Mrs. Cavenaugh welcomed her.
“I can’t…I’m having company tonight.”
“Oh?” Mrs. Cavenaugh didn’t even have the decency to hide her interest. “Mr. Webster?”
Erin eyed the half-bent old woman with loving suspicion. “How did you know?” she asked.
“Lucky guess,” the old woman murmured, her blue eyes dancing with pleasure. “Don’t you have just a minute to tell me all about it?”
“No, I’m sorry, truly I am.” Erin’s face was earnest, and Mrs. Cavenaugh didn’t doubt her sincerity. “I just dropped by to tell you that I got hold of someone to install the insulation. They’ll be here by the end of the week.”
“Good!”
“Look, I’ve really got to run.”
“I understand,” was the kindly reply. “Oh, by the way, Erin, did you know that Mr. Jefferies is planning to move out by the end of the month?”
“Oh, no,” Erin sighed, and then quickly hid her disappointment. “I knew that he had been thinking of moving in with his daughter and her husband, but I didn’t think that he had made up his mind.”
“Seems they made it up for him,” Mrs. Cavenaugh asserted. “I’m sure he left his notice in your mailbox.”
“Oh, thanks for reminding me.” Erin crossed the hallway and opened her mailbox. Among the various bills was Mr. Jefferies’s notice of vacancy. The last thing she needed right now was one more empty apartment. She needed the rental income just to keep up the mortgage, let alone the repairs and upkeep. But she couldn’t show her worries to Mrs. Cavenaugh. She called out to the friendly elderly woman as she mounted the stairs, “I’ll let you know exactly when the repairmen will be here.”
“Thanks, honey,” Mrs. Cavenaugh responded before closing the door to her apartment. Erin raced up the remaining stairs, anxious to get into the familiar and secure surroundings of her own apartment.
* * *
Kane pulled the small black sports car to the curb and snapped off the motor. He sat in the darkness for a minute, staring at the apartment house that Erin called home. He was angry and he was tense, but he tried to control his emotions so that Erin wouldn’t become suspicious.
Erin was already home. The lights in her apartment glowed in the night, and the Volkswagen Rabbit was sitting where she had parked it in front of the house. Kane’s eyes moved from the car back to the building. Even in the unearthly glow of the streetlamp he could see the signs of age and disrepair in the large old home. Was this apartment house the cause of Erin’s financial woes? Could she possibly be moving funds out of the bank for the upkeep on the costly old house?
He had thought he would feel a deep satisfaction in catching Cameron’s accomplice in crime, but as he came closer to the truth, the satisfaction had soured in his stomach to a feeling of sickening disgust. He knew now that Erin was lying to him, and somehow he had to find a way to prove his theories about her, as much as he despised the idea.
He took in a long breath as he thought about Lee Sinclair. Erin’s ex-husband was supposedly in Spokane, but with a little checking, Kane had discovered that Lee had moved back to Seattle over six weeks ago—about the same time that Erin had applied for her employee loan. Could she still be involved with him, and was he the drain on her money? Perhaps he was the catalyst in the partnership with Cameron.
Kane’s hands tightened on the steering wheel until his knuckles whitened. He could only hope that he was wrong and that someone else was the embezzler. God, how he hoped so. There were still a few more possibilities, but unfortunately, right now the evidence was stacking up very heavily against Erin O’Toole.
Angrily Kane pushed his disturbing thoughts aside and got out of the car. He was furious at himself, at Erin and particularly at Lee Sinclair, whoever the hell he was.
* * *
Erin had just placed the pan of lasagna in the oven when the doorbell rang. Before she could cross the room, the door swung open and thudded against the wall. Kane strode into the room and closed the door just as angrily as he had opened it. Erin had begun to smile, but when her eyes met his, her face froze. His gray eyes were guarded, a stormy fog clouding their depths. His casual clothes, the same ones he had been wearing earlier, were disheveled and his tie was loosened rather haphazardly. “Don’t you ever lock your door?” he muttered.
“Of course I do…but I was in a hurry…”
“That’s no excuse!” he rifled back at her.
Erin was confused by his only slightly suppressed anger, and she felt her temper rise to meet his. “Look, Kane, thanks for your concern, but it’s really not your problem.”
“It is my problem, when it concerns your safety.”
“I’m all right. I just forgot to latch the door. That’s not such a crime.”
A more contrite look softened his features. “I suppose you’re right,” he sighed, raking strong fingers through his coarse brown hair. “I didn’t mean to jump down your throat.” He walked over to her and brushed a light kiss across her forehead. “But I do wish that you would be more careful.”
“I’ll try,” she agreed in order to ease the tension that was building between them. She could see that he was beginning to relax, but the lines near the edges of his eyes looked deeper than they had this morning. She tried to tell herself that it was probably just the first day at the bank that had taken its toll on him, or possibly that he was concerned about Krista. But she couldn’t help feeling that there was a larger problem storming through his mind—a problem that concerned her.
“Would you like a drink?” Erin suggested.
“Oh.” He slapped a palm against his forehead. “I forgot the wine—something came up at the bank. Forgive me?”
He was teasing, Erin knew, but she could sense an inner turbulence below his light attempt at humor. “Consider yourself forgiven,” she agreed, “but my liquor cabinet isn’t all that great.”
Kane walked over to the cupboard that she indicated and searched through the bottles. “Saying that is being kind. It’s downright pathetic.”
“I don’t see that you have much room to complain, since you were the one who forgot the wine in the first place,” she reminded him, trying to suppress a smile.
“Touché, Miss O’Toole. Now let’s see what we have in here.” His voice was muffled as he pushed aside partially filled bottles of liquor and finally pulled out an unopened bottle of brandy. With a triumphant flourish, he held out the bottle for Erin’s inspection. “Look at this. Maybe the evening won’t be a total loss after all!”
“A loss? You practically insisted on inviting yourself over to a home-cooked dinner, and already you’re insinuating that the evening will be wasted?” She could feel him looking at her, but she didn’t turn around and started slicing the greens for a salad. She was only kidding, of course, but he deserved a shot after barging in that way.
In a moment his arms were encircling her waist and his breath moved her hair as he whispered in her ear. His voice was low and full of promise as he spoke. “I don’t think that any time would ever be wasted if I could share it with you.”
She let the knife slip to the counter. His touch was warming her abdomen, and the feel of his hot breath against her neck made her heart race. She tried to keep her head and recapture the light mood of the minute before. “That sounds like a line if I ever heard one.”
“A line? Oh, Erin, don’t you think I’m a little too old for lines? Don’t you know what you mean to me?” There was a torture in his words as if he was admitting something that he himself didn’t want to hear.
His hands persuaded her body to rotate and face him, and when her eyes found his, she saw that his gaze had darkened with a smoky passion. Smoldering embers lit his eyes as he bent his head slowly downward to capture her trembling lips with his. The warm, seductive pressure of his mouth roving passionately over hers made her dizzy. She tried to blink and restore some sanity to her emotions, but she couldn’t. It was as if her entire body began and ended where her lips met his. Her knees began to give way and melt beneath her. And as he tasted her, an aching need began to consume her.
Her response was complete. Her blood warmed in a swirling moist heat. She began to return his kiss, hesitantly at first. But as he kindled the fires of desire within her body, she responded in kind. Her kisses became anxious pleas for a more intense lovemaking. Boldly her fingers crept up his chest until her arms encircled his neck. She felt the thick muscular cords near his spine and unconsciously began to massage away the tension that seemed to devour him tonight.
Kane groaned with pleasure, his voice an echo of hers as she gasped for air. His tongue met hers and danced hungrily in a torrid fever, first flicking light touches to hers and finally molding it with a moist and fevered need. “Erin,” he breathed, letting her name whisper against her. “I need you…tonight.”
Erin’s mind continued to remind her that she should stop him now, while she still had the chance, but she found herself resisting common sense and embracing temptation. Never had she felt so ignited, so completely female.
His lips scorched a trail of featherlight kisses from her eyes to her throat and on to her tender ear. His delicious breath tingled her inner ear, sending shock waves of passion resounding through her mind. She let her head fall away from him, hoping to somehow make her neck and earlobe more available to him. His thumb traced the hollow of her throat, gently at first, but with increased pressure in tight little circles…around and around, until she thought that she wouldn’t be able to breathe.
Erin sighed briefly and resigned herself to the fact that her mind wanted him as much as her body did. “Oh, Kane,” she murmured, “I need you too.” She succumbed body and soul to her desires and arched her hips against his. His breath ruffled her hair and he smiled down at her before lifting her off her feet and carrying her into the bedroom.
“I know that you need me, Erin. I thought that you would never realize that we were meant to be together.”
“Together?” she breathed.
“As man and woman. I knew it from the first time I saw you, sitting amid that ridiculous pile of books in your office.”
Together as man and woman, she thought, but for how long? For an hour, a day, a week? Her mind raced forward, but her body wouldn’t let go, not tonight. She felt him pressed hotly against her, smelled his warm clean scent and saw a stormy passion in his face that she had to capture. She needed him every bit as much as he needed her, and perhaps much, much more.
Erin let herself follow the path of her emotions. The magic of his kiss had aroused her to the point of no return, and she was heedless of anything save his sensitive touch. She couldn’t deny herself any of the pleasures that he could spark in her. Since that first moment in her dimly lit office, she, too, had been aware of him first and foremost as a man. His sensuality couldn’t be ignored, not for a second. His dark eyes, well-muscled body and virile self-assurance had enticed and beckoned to the center of her femininity, and she was tempted beyond reason to respond.
Erin’s body seemed to warm from the inside out, melting in fevered washes of heat and desire. Any reservations that might still have lingered in her mind were slowly and unconsciously stripped away from her as he rained liquid kisses over her skin.
The bedroom was bathed in moonlight. Kane laid Erin on the bed, and she felt the cool satin of the comforter through the sheer silk of her blouse. She was still dressed, although as he stood over her, she felt naked. Naked to the pain of needing him. Naked in the knowledge that she loved him. And naked in the recognition that her love was unreturned. His heavy-lidded eyes were unreadable, but Erin was very certain that although there was a smoke of passion in his gaze there was no flame of love.
Regardless of that fact, she couldn’t and wouldn’t deny the urges of her body. She loved him, despite his lack of love for her. The bed sagged beneath Kane’s weight, and Erin felt herself tremble. His finger traced the length of her arm, but his eyes never left hers. He was watching her, almost studying her, seeming content to let his gaze caress her.
“Tell me no if you want me to stop,” he commanded in a hoarse voice. His lips brushed tentatively over hers.
Her response was a grateful moan. Their lips met in a hot embrace, and she let her arms wind around his neck in a display of total abandon. She wanted all of him with a burning need that she had never before felt.
He let his hands stroke her face and throat in moth-soft caresses, until at last they reached her collar and finally the buttons of her blouse. He opened the blouse slowly, letting the fine silky fabric part of its own accord. And then gently he raised her shoulders to let the blouse slip to the floor. His eyes watched her torso as her breasts rose and fell with each of her gasping breaths.
“Erin…God, but you’re beautiful,” he sighed, fingering the lacy bra that was still a seductive barrier between his flesh and hers. His fingers teased and finally unclasped the skimpy piece of lingerie, until at last her aching breasts were unrestrained.
A groan escaped from his lips as he slowly massaged each dark-nippled breast to arousal. When he could feel the hardness of her breasts, he cuddled them softly and buried his head between the two feminine peaks. Erin arched against him, unable to control the hot urges that were firing her. She reached for his shirt, and as quickly as possible, removed it from his body, until her anxious fingers found the thick soft mat of fur that covered his chest and the male nipples beneath it.
As he enticed her, so did she him. She let her fingers touch and caress the firm muscles that flared rigidly over his body. Her hands traveled up his spine, vertebra by vertebra, feeling the hardness of his back through the moisture of his sweat.
The room was dark; only the soft glow from the partially opened door mingled with the moon glow to add a shimmering pallor to the night. But Erin could see Kane as clearly as if it were a bright summer day. All of her senses were alive to him. His touch fired her, his scent encouraged her and his salt-sweet taste lingered on her lips and tongue.
His hands traveled to her skirt and panty hose, quickly discarding a portion of the clothing that separated them. He cast off his pants as rapidly, never for a moment leaving Erin alone. Always one part of him was pressed warmly and possessively over her.
Her blood was boiling through her veins, spiraling upward from the deep mercurial well that was vibrating from the essence of her femininity. His lips traveled over her breasts, teasing and tasting each one while his hands slowly and rhythmically rubbed soft patterns against her abdomen, dipping deliciously below the elastic of her panties, and then letting the fabric snap tantalizingly against her skin.
Kane toyed with her last article of clothing until she thought she would go mad with the urgency of her need for him. When the agonizing last flimsy barrier was finally freed from her body, she groaned in pure animal pleasure and desire. He let his lips graze the muscles of her abdomen to circle her navel. His tongue warmed her flesh and she pulled him more closely to her.
All thoughts of anything but the mastery of his lovemaking were torn from her mind, pushed aside as quickly as her clothing. She was conscious of only one thing: the bruising, pulsating desire that dominated her mind and body. Time had ceased. Doubts had fled. All that she cared about was Kane: the skillful play of his fingers on her thighs and buttocks, the searing brand of his kiss over her breasts and abdomen, the enticing lure of his strong body.
She could feel the granitelike touch of his naked leg against hers, the soft hair tickling her cleanly shaven skin. She could also tell that he was holding back his physical needs to give her the utmost pleasure. In the half light of the moon she could see his arousal and feel the warm length of him brushing against her.
Just as she felt that she would surely melt with need of him, he came to her, fusing the fine muscles of his body with hers in a hot, rhythmic blend of passion. She felt him push her over the delicate edge of desire to fulfillment, and in the warm wash of exploded passion, he came with her in a burning torchlike shudder of surrender.
Erin felt a sigh flow from her lips as she held him tightly and securely, holding on to him as if her life depended on him. It had been many, many years since she had made love to a man, and never had she felt the wonder or the magic that Kane had aroused and satisfied in her tonight. Although she felt an incredible bliss, her torn emotions got the better of her, and she began to feel the hot sear of tears burn at the back of her eyes.
Embarrassed at herself, she tried to move away from Kane and blink back the unwanted tears. But as she slid against the satin comforter, his arms locked over her, imprisoning her.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he whispered silkily, his voice still holding the satisfaction of afterglow.
Erin’s voice caught in her throat and she couldn’t force herself to answer him.
“Erin?” Kane’s voice was more aware than it had been. “Is something wrong?”
She shook her head negatively, but when she did, she felt his strong fingers reach up and stroke her face. His hands stopped their movement as his fingertips encountered the first tear that had slid unrequested down her cheek. “Oh, no,” he murmured.
“It’s not…what you think,” she managed to sigh.
“Did I hurt you?” His voice was uneven in the night.
“No…no…Kane…”
“Then why? I don’t understand.” His words were raw with concern.
“Neither do I,” she admitted as the tears began to flow freely past the web of her lashes and down her cheeks. She shook her head in self-deprecation, letting the ebony curtain of her hair fall loosely around her face. How could she do such a thing to him, she asked herself silently. And how, when she was so deliriously happy, could she feel so confused and torn?
“Erin.” His voice had lowered an octave, and he brushed her hair away from her face so as to kiss the tears from her cheeks. “Is something wrong?” He held her gently to him, letting her skin press tightly to his, while he covered them both with the comforter. In the quiet room, he rocked her in the cradle of his arms.
“No…nothing…nothing’s wrong…” Her voice wavered.
“What is it? You’re not ashamed of making love to me, are you?”
“No…no…never.” She felt his breath feathering the back of her head as he sighed with relief. “It’s nothing I can explain,” she continued. “The last few weeks have been hard….” Could she tell him about the badly needed repairs to the building, the confusion she felt about Mitch or the taxing telephone calls from Lee? “…I guess I’ve been tired.” She wanted to explain how she felt, but there were so many conflicting and unsettling emotions warring within her that she didn’t want to think about them. Not tonight. She just needed to feel the peaceful security of Kane’s arms around her.
Kane clutched her more urgently to him in a protective embrace. He could feel the beating of her heart, a warm pulse fluttering lightly under his fingertips and vibrating against the velvet smoothness of her breasts. He wanted her to speak—to confess. He needed to assure her that he could make everything right. He would find a way to help her out of the mess that Mitchell Cameron had created.
Kane’s voice rumbled against his chest, and she could feel the deep manly tones pulsing against her naked back. “I want you to know that if you do have a problem—any problem whatsoever—you can come to me.” His last words sounded like a confession. “I’m on your side.”
“Oh, Kane,” she breathed, wanting to confide her innermost thoughts and share everything with him, yet unable to bare her soul any more than she already had. “There’s really nothing to tell. I’m…just a little keyed up. That’s all….” She could feel herself smiling at him through her tears.
Outside a cloud crossed the moon, giving a misty aura to the light that passed into the bedroom. She turned to face Kane, and his eyes looked all the more omniscient in the unnatural moon glow.
“I hope you realize that if you ever need a friend, you can count on me,” Kane murmured, before lowering his head to hers and kissing away the final tears that stained her cheeks.
As his lips found hers, she tasted the salt of her own tears, mingled seductively with the uniquely male taste of Kane. She parted her lips, and in a moment the kisses deepened to rekindle the fires of passion that possessed them.
With a gentleness that belied the tension that pushed against him, Kane caressed Erin and together they discovered the secrets of inflamed desire and glorious love. Erin fell dreamlessly to sleep in the warm strength of Kane’s arms. But Kane didn’t sleep. Too many uneasy thoughts about Erin strained against his mind. He looked at her asleep and brushed an unruly wisp of raven hair off the perfect alabaster sheen of her face. Sleeping in the moonlight, she seemed so childlike, innocent and vulnerable.
But his mind continued in its ugly pursuit of the truth. Why had she lied to him? And why did he care so much?
Chapter 6
Erin felt comfortably warm and drowsy as she stretched lengthwise in the bed and tucked the silken comforter more cozily around her neck. She sighed softly to herself in pleasure as she slowly awakened. All the tension that had been gathering in her body over the last six months had somehow ebbed gently away from her. She smiled to herself contentedly before realizing that she felt so dreamily happy because she had made love to Kane Webster—her new boss!
Her dark lashes flew open as the reality of the situation dawned upon her. The bedroom was dark and the bed was empty. Kane must have left her and disappeared into the night as she slept. A feeling akin to desperation cascaded over her, and the bed, once warm and comforting, seemed cruelly cold and empty. She wondered silently to herself how she could have been so foolishly naive to expect him to stay with her. She was achingly aware that she loved him, and although she didn’t want to care for him so deeply, she accepted the naked truth of her love. But she wasn’t so foolish as to expect that he could possibly reciprocate her feelings of the heart.
Erin mentally chided herself for her thoughts of love. For all she knew, Kane might consider her just another easy conquest. The infuriating phrase “one night stand” crept into her mind. For all her bold talk of not mixing business with pleasure, she had invited Kane all too easily into her heart and into her bed.
You’re an idiot, she swore at herself as she decided to get dressed. She reached for her teal blue skirt that was still lying in the discarded heap of wrinkled clothing at the side of the bed. After pulling her panty hose on furiously, she began to step into the skirt.
“Don’t get dressed on my account,” Kane’s voice whispered across the darkness to her. Her disappointed heart leapt at the sound of his voice, and she whirled toward the doorway to find Kane leaning casually against the doorjamb, his gaze wandering recklessly over her body. Involuntarily she crossed her free arm over her breasts, while with the other she tugged vainly at the skirt.
“I…I thought that you’d gone,” Erin murmured, and feeling somewhat embarrassed by her partial nudity, she hastily grabbed the sheet from the bed and pulled it togalike around her body. Kane watched her swathe herself with the white sheet, and in his mind he likened her to a Greek goddess.
“Now, why would I want to leave?” he drawled huskily as his eyes traveled lazily over her one exposed slim leg and up to her eyes. Her fingers tightened around the sheet and yet she felt naked.
“I don’t know,” she admitted, “but when I woke up, you were gone and I didn’t hear any noise. I thought that you must have….” Her words died as she interpreted the expression in his clear gray eyes.
He stood still in the doorway watching her. One well-muscled shoulder rested against the doorjamb. The light from the living room was behind him, and his silhouette in the darkness seemed to intensify the broad strength of his shoulders and the powerful play of muscles on his chest. His shirt was still unbuttoned as if he were just in the process of getting dressed when he heard her awaken. Erin found it hard to concentrate on anything but his tanned skin and the invitation of his open shirt. Unconsciously she gripped the sheet a little more tightly.
“I’m not going to leave you,” he replied seriously, and then wondered at the promise he heard echoing in his words. He could see Erin’s face in the cloud-shadowed moon glow—a delicate, regal oval placed in relief by the tangled mass of black hair that cascaded down to rest against the marble texture of her bare shoulder. The hollow of her throat beckoned him, but he resisted reaching for her. She was beautiful, almost an inspiration, and Kane had difficulty reining in his emotions. Her lilac eyes shimmered in the half light, and Kane was sorely tempted to go back to the bed and crush her passionately against him. How could he ache so much for one woman? he asked himself. And how could any woman who appeared so innocent and vulnerable be mixed up with something as gut-wrenchingly dishonest as embezzling? The onerous thoughts that battled in his mind must have been evident on his face because Erin’s expression changed from innocence to wariness. God, why did he want her so badly?
Kane cleared his throat, and in an attempt to break the heady silence that was entrapping him, tried to lighten the suddenly tense moment. He cocked one black eyebrow in mock suspicion and effectively changed the subject.
“So you thought that I had left you, did you? Wishful thinking on your part, wasn’t it?”
“Wishful thinking? What do you mean?”
“You’ve been trying to weasel out of fixing dinner for me all day, but it won’t work. I’m here and I’m famished!”
“The lasagna! Oh, no! I forgot all about it!” Erin wailed. She started to hike her skirt upward over her hips, while still grasping the sheet.
Kane stood, unmoving and bemused, in the doorway. His silvery eyes never left her body. Erin sucked in a deep breath. Although she was uncomfortable about dressing in front of him, intuitively she knew it would be useless to try and dissuade him from watching her. She gave him an irritated glare that only seemed to amuse him further as she tried to squirm into the tight blue skirt and attempted to keep the sheet positioned modestly. Her efforts were in vain, and a deep chuckle erupted in his throat as he unabashedly studied her dismal efforts at privacy. Finally, when she slipped the skirt up to her waist and tried to tug at the zipper, it got caught in the sheet and Erin gave up. After the passionate intimacy of only an hour before, Erin realized that her modesty must appear slightly neurotic. With a burning flush of scarlet on her cheeks, she untangled the sheet from the zipper and let the sheet fall to the floor.
“Damn!” she swore under her breath when the skirt was in place at last. She raised her deep round eyes to him and met his gaze unwaveringly. Her breasts, two white soft mounds, were unshielded, and she moved slowly as she finished dressing. “You’re not making this easy, you know,” she accused, her eyes never leaving his. He met her challenging gaze with an amused twinkle in his eyes. “The least you could do,” she continued, “is take the dinner out of the oven so it doesn’t burn!”
A condescending smile touched the corners of his lips. “You expect me to help with the cooking?”
“Why not? You obviously intend to help with the eating,” she bantered back at him, and attempted to hurry through the doorway. Just as she tried to pass him, he placed a strong arm across her path. The action effectively barred her passage and barricaded her into the bedroom.
“Not so fast,” he murmured seductively. Erin felt her throat tighten.
“But the meal—the lasagna. It’s probably cremated!”
“It’ll keep,” he breathed, his eyes holding hers. His head dipped downward, and before she could utter any further protest, he kissed her softly. His lips lingered over hers for only an instant before he dropped the imprisoning arm and pulled his head away from hers. “I just wanted to thank you.”
“For what?” she asked breathlessly.
“For just being you.” His words warmed her, and she felt more than a little light-headed and dizzy, but the steady pressure of his warm hand against the small of her back forced her into the living area of the apartment. She couldn’t help but smile as she noticed that he had set the table for two and pulled the slightly overcooked casserole from the oven. Candles graced the intimate table. The wine was poured. The meal was already served.
“You did this?” she asked, surveying the table that he had set with enviable care. “And I slept through it?” Amazement was evident in her voice.
“Surprising, isn’t it?”
“That’s putting it mildly.” She shook her head in concentrated thought. “I’m normally a light sleeper,” she murmured as she walked into the kitchen.
“That’s because you haven’t been keeping the right company.”
“And just what is that supposed to mean?” she inquired cautiously as she put the finishing touches on the meal and placed the salad on the table next to the lasagna and warm bread.
“Just that you’d probably sleep more soundly with me.”
Her eyes jumped to his face as she took the chair opposite his at the table. She took a deep breath and decided that it was time to set him straight about her. Perhaps he had gotten the wrong impression and thought that she was somewhat promiscuous.
She began slowly and deliberately. “Kane, I want you to understand something about me,” she requested.
“Such as?”
“Contrary to what you might think…” She struggled with her next words as they caught in her throat. “I don’t normally…I mean…” She shook her dark curls in frustration. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t make a habit of sleeping with a man whom I barely know.” She watched for his reaction.
“Oh?” His voice was interested, and he pushed his plate aside to give her his full attention. She saw no criticism in his misty eyes, only concern.
“I hope that I haven’t given you the wrong impression about me….”
“You mean because you slept with me?”
Two dark scarlet points of color brightened her cheeks, but she bravely continued. “That’s exactly what I mean.” Her words were hushed, and for a moment she was forced to look away from him. When she brought her eyes back to his, she held his gaze steadily and her voice became coolly even. “I don’t really understand why I think that you have to know this, but for the sake of my own somewhat Victorian morals, I want you to realize that I don’t have casual affairs. In fact, other than my ex-husband, there has been no one. Until you.”
“I know that,” he assured her in a voice as grave as the night.
She fingered her wineglass and took a long swallow of the rosé. She studied the pale pink liquid and swirled it in the long-stemmed glass before continuing the conversation. “Then why did you ask me all of those insulting questions about Mitch?”
At the mention of Mitchell Cameron’s name, a scowl darkened Kane’s features. Once again his face was guarded and his eyes became two silver shields. “I didn’t know you then,” was the terse reply.
“And in just three days you know me well enough to evaluate my love life?” she returned, and heard the sarcasm in her voice.
“I probably know a lot more about you than you think.”
Her lilac eyes fastened on his, and a rush of indignation that she couldn’t conceal colored her words. “You haven’t been checking up on me, have you?”
“No more than I have any other employee of the bank.” It was a lie and he knew it, but he couldn’t let her think any differently at this point. He hated himself for the lie, but he was trapped by the web of suspicions that plagued him and by the storm of emotions that captured him every time he looked into her eyes.
“Then why all the insinuations about Mitch? Can’t you believe that a woman can make it on her own without sleeping with the boss?”
He arched an expressive black eyebrow, and she felt immediately contrite. The question that was unspoken hung between them on a charged electric current. Unashamedly Erin answered it. “You know that I didn’t make love to you because of my job.”
“Then tell me, why did you sleep with me?” he coaxed.
“For the same reason that you slept with me,” she responded, lifting her chin proudly. “Because I wanted to.” His tight frown seemed to relax, and he took a sip of his wine as he surveyed her over the rim of the wineglass. His gray eyes concentrated on her. She seemed so honest. It was impossible to think that her beautiful face would lie. Why hadn’t she been truthful about her ex-husband? Erin O’Toole was an enigma, a ravishing, seductive enigma.
Erin struggled with her meal. Why did she feel such an uncontrollable urge to explain everything to Kane? And why did she feel the need for caution? As she put aside her fork, she spread her hands outward on the table, her fingers reaching up in a supplicating gesture. “Mitch was my boss, and he was and is a very dear friend. No matter what he’s done, nothing will change that. But there was never anything more between us than personal friendship and professional respect for each other. Can’t you believe me?”
“Of course I do—now,” Kane replied. “But you can’t blame me for my suspicions. Until I met you in the bank last Saturday, I didn’t know anything about you other than what was in your personnel file. I knew that you had been promoted rapidly—perhaps too quickly—and I wanted to know why. You have to understand that no matter how close you are to Mitch, he is a thief!” Kane’s cold gray eyes grew dark. “It’s my responsibility to the bank, the stockholders, the savings customers, everyone, to know everything I can about each employee. It would be ridiculous to think that I would rely on Mitchell Cameron’s judgment.”
Kane’s words hit Erin like a splash of cold water. She was stunned, and her voice was brittle as she asked the question that was uppermost in her mind. “Are you trying to tell me that you don’t think I’m qualified for my position, that the only reason you could see that I would get the job was because I might have slept with Mitch?” she challenged, stricken at the thought.
His voice was strangely devoid of emotion. “I’m saying that it’s difficult for me to believe that a thirty-two-year-old woman is second in command of the legal department of a major Seattle bank….”
“And if I were a man?” she fired back at him, her eyes deepening to the color of a midnight storm.
“Sex has nothing to do with this!”
“Sex has everything to do with this,” she argued, slapping her palm against the table and rattling the silverware. “You seem to overlook the fact that I spent the last six years of my life in night school, for the most part doing postgraduate work in corporate law! If it weren’t for the fact that you bought First Puget Bank, I would probably be a practicing attorney today!”
It was Kane’s turn to be angry and his words sliced through the air. “I don’t see how I could have possibly hindered your legal career! What does my ownership of the bank have to do with it?”
Erin swallowed with difficulty and licked her arid lips. She tried to think calmly and took a long swallow of wine to quench her parched throat. Getting angry wouldn’t solve anything, she told herself, and giving in to her sometimes volatile temper would only hinder the situation. Carefully she explained her position. “There are several reasons that I haven’t been able to take the bar exam.”
“And somehow they are all my fault,” he surmised.
“I’m not blaming you,” she insisted, and began toying with her napkin. “First Puget was paying my way through school. Any class I took that pertained to my job was paid for by the bank. Other classes I paid for myself. That is—until the bank sale.”
“You mean, until Consolidated Finances bought out First Puget?”
She nodded.
“Lack of money prevented you from taking the exam?” His jawline hardened and a tiny muscle began to work in his jaw as he clenched his teeth together. One more reason Erin needed money, as he saw it. Just how desperate was she?
“Money isn’t the only problem,” she sighed, wishing there were some way to avoid this particular discussion. “You see, in the past six months, there have been several departmental changes…and Mitch wasn’t around a good deal of the time. I had to spend a lot of my free time at the bank, working.”
“And you didn’t have time to study for the examination?” Was there a slight undercurrent of sarcasm to his question?
“It’s not as simple as going out and getting a driver’s license, you know!” she snapped back at him, her strained temper unleashed at last. Viciously she speared a portion of the lasagna and forced the bite into her mouth.
For a few seconds neither she nor Kane spoke, and they finished the remainder of the meal in silent battle. When she hazarded a surreptitious glance in his direction, she felt her anger flow out of her. Perhaps it was the deep concentration of his knit brows, or the play of light on his gold-streaked chestnut hair. Or maybe it was the seductive way his mouth curved, or his bronzed chest as it peeked out from beneath his shirt. Whatever the reason, she felt her temper cool as she watched him. Her heart was torn and she ached to understand the man whom she loved so urgently.
Why, she wondered, did she feel that he was holding something back from her? Why did there always seem to be a dark, unasked question in his eyes? Was he like she was, insecure about a commitment to a fellow employee? Was it possible that he had a girlfriend, or perhaps a fiancée, waiting for him in California? Or was it a brooding concern for his daughter that made him seem so remote at times? How could she love a man so desperately and still feel that he wasn’t being completely honest with her?
She finished her meal, excused herself and began brewing some coffee in the kitchen. Despite the uncomfortable conversation, Kane ate hungrily and Erin was pleased. What was it about preparing a meal for the man she loved that made her feel so satisfied? Some age-old maternal instinct, she supposed and smiled to herself. She had experienced the same satisfied sensation with Lee in the first few months of her marriage. It hadn’t lasted long! she reminded herself.
At a time like this why would she remember her ex-husband and the few good times that they had shared? She tried to dispel her mood of melancholy remembrance by pouring the coffee and carrying it into the living room.
Kane had risen from the table and was standing at the window, staring out across the darkened Puget Sound. From his position, he could see the jeweled lights of Seattle winking on the quiet black waters. A deep blanket of fog was beginning to roll into the sound.
“Even at night this is a spectacular view of the city,” he thought aloud, accepting the coffee that Erin offered. She, too, looked into the misty night.
“That’s one of the reasons that I had to have this place,” she agreed, and then laughed. “Along with a very long list of other things.”
“Such as?”
“The charm of this old house. Everything about it speaks of a different time, a more romantic period in history.” She ran a caressing finger across the cool wood of the windowsill. “The craftsmanship is exquisitely ornate, and I doubt that it could be duplicated today. This house was built with love. Look at the woodwork, the carved stairs, the beveled windows, everything! Even the builder who separated it into apartments and added all the modern conveniences took enough care to keep the flavor and the grandeur of the house in mind. I fell in love with it the minute I saw it,” she admitted, and was surprised at how easily she had opened up to Kane about her feelings for the old mansion.
“Didn’t anyone warn you about the expensive upkeep of such an old building?” he asked cautiously as he sat down on the couch. She took a seat next to him and shook her head thoughtfully.
“Everyone I knew tried to talk me out of it. Even my parents, who live on the East Coast, flew out here to try and dissuade me. They all told me that I was throwing money away. How does the expression go? ‘Good money after bad’? They swore that the upkeep of the place would ruin me financially.” She shrugged her slim shoulders and looked out the window again. “But the more people tried to talk me out of it, the more I absolutely had to have it!”
“Watch out,” he cautioned with a smile. “Your rebellious side is beginning to show.”
“Is it?” she asked, turning her attention back to him. She had considered herself many things, but never rebellious.
“That dark, private side of you that I told you about yesterday. It’s surfacing,” he suggested.
Once again the conversation was becoming too intimate for Erin. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic, as if he were closing in on her. Something made her draw away; she tried to change the subject. “In any event I bought this place and haven’t lived to regret it yet.”
“And were all those people who gave you advice correct?”
“What do you mean?”
He took a long, experimental sip of his coffee and studied her intently. “I mean, has this house become a financial burden to you?”
Erin swallowed before answering. Just how much did she want him to know about her, and how much did he already guess? “It hasn’t been easy,” she admitted reluctantly.
“Tenant problems?”
She shook her head negatively. “Not really. Most of the people who rent here have been with me for years, and they are very nice people who take pride in their homes. Once in a while I have a vacancy problem, but the primary difficulty with this place is the repairs. You see, I’m not exactly handy with a hammer or a saw.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” he teased and lightly touched her shoulder. “You have talents in other fields.” His whispered words were tender and comforting, and she felt that she had known him all her life. His fingers touched her hair. He felt himself drawn to the ebony sheen of her curls. They were as black and inviting as the night itself. He caught himself and struggled to maintain his objectivity where Erin was concerned, but found it difficult to put his feelings for her in their proper perspective. She had lied to him and he knew it. Whether she admitted it or not, Lee Sinclair was back in Seattle. Kane felt that he had to press Erin tonight, before he became all the more entangled in her mysterious womanly charms. He couldn’t let himself forget that it was imperative that he understand what devious thoughts were being spun in that regal head of hers.
“What about your ex-husband?” Kane prodded.
“Lee?” she asked, perplexed. “What does Lee have to do with anything?” Nervously she pushed an errant strand of hair back in place. Why did Kane continue to bring up the subject of a man whom Erin would rather forget?
“What did he have to say about this place and your purchasing it?”
“He couldn’t say much. We were divorced at the time,” she responded with a finality that she hoped would effectively close the subject. But still he persisted.
“Tell me about the divorce,” he coaxed.
“Why?”
A smile toyed with the corners of his mouth. “Because I want to know all about you….” he suggested silkily.
“I don’t like to talk about Lee.”
“Why?”
“Are you interrogating me again?” she asked, promptly regretting the acidity in her words. She got up from the couch and shrugged her shoulders. “It bothers me…to talk about Lee.”
“Did he hurt you so badly?” he asked, his voice gentle.
Her eyes glazed over with the shame that she had borne. How could she explain the embarrassment of Lee’s affair and the messy divorce? “Yes,” she whispered, “I suppose that he did hurt me, but only because I let him.”
“By loving him too much?” he asked severely.
“No, by being so young and naive. At the time I thought that all marriages were made in heaven, and I didn’t think that I would fail, or that he would use me….” She found that she was trembling. The cup of coffee shook in her fingers, and she was forced to set it on the bookcase in order to hide her reaction from Kane.
“There was another woman?” he guessed, and Erin, with her back to him, let her shoulders droop as she nodded.
“My pride was wounded very deeply.” She pulled her lips into a thin line of self-deprecation and squared her sagging shoulders. “I just never thought that I would end up as a divorce court statistic!”
“You didn’t want the marriage to end?”
She turned and faced him. “You don’t understand. I didn’t want to fail, but I had to get out of the marriage to Lee. I couldn’t bear the hypocrisy!”
Quickly Kane moved off the couch and reached for her. He pressed her quietly against the strength of his chest. Although she was still shaking, she could hear the steady beat of his heart, and his silent support helped calm her.
“Erin,” Kane breathed, sharing in the agony that had embittered her.
“It’s all right,” she murmured against him. “I don’t know why it still bothers me…at times. The pain has been gone for a long while.”
She felt his arm tighten around her, and his voice was barely a whisper when he asked the question. “Do you ever see him?” Kane asked with an urgency she couldn’t understand.
“I haven’t seen him for over a year, since he moved to Spokane.” The pressure of his hands against her back increased and she felt compelled to continue. “But he has moved back to Seattle, and he has called me.”
His grip slackened, but the deep lines of concern that etched his forehead remained. “He wants to see you again?” Kane asked, and his eyes narrowed a fraction.
“I don’t want to see him,” she sighed. “So I haven’t.”
“Is he being overly persistent?” There was a thread of steel in Kane’s voice.
“Yes…no…no, not really…” She rubbed her temple in confusion. “Couldn’t we talk about something else? I really don’t like to be reminded of that period in my life. What about you?” she asked, her lilac eyes searching his. “What was your marriage like?”
Kane released her and scowled. His lips formed a thin line that was neither a smile or frown. “I suppose that’s a fair question, since you bared your soul to me.”
He strode purposely back to the couch and raked his fingers through the thick waves of his hair, before picking up his lukewarm coffee and staring into the black liquid.
“My marriage to Jana was a mistake from the beginning,” he admitted with a frown. “I guess I probably knew it at the time, but I was much younger then, and it took me quite a few years to finally admit to myself that we had made an error that was destroying us.”
He looked vacantly out the window into the fog before continuing. His dark brows pulled together in concentration and carefully Erin came closer to him and perched on the arm of the sofa as he began to speak.
“In the beginning I was attracted to her because she was an incredibly beautiful and famous woman. You know, the glamorous model. I was just getting started in my business at the time, and I was flattered that she would even give me the time of day. I convinced myself that I loved her, when actually there was never any love between us. I was young enough to think that beneath all the glitter was a beautiful person hidden in that gorgeous body. A typical male mistake. And of course I was wrong.
“We had a whirlwind romance, I guess you might say. Lusty affair would be more exact. In any event just as I was beginning to suspect that we were too different ever to get along, it was too late—she was pregnant. I talked her out of the abortion and into marriage.”
His lips thinned and he shook his head derisively. “I guess that I was a damned fool to think that a baby would change things between us, that our differences would work themselves out. And as it turned out, Jana and I had very different impressions about family life. She resented having to give up her figure and her career for the sake of her pregnancy, and she resented being a mother and a housewife. After five years of battling with her I agreed to the divorce that she wanted so desperately. As I said before, the marriage was a mistake from the beginning, and I knew it. But no matter what, it was worth every minute of the arguments—because of Krista.”
He cleared his throat as he thought about his daughter and a sadness stole across his features. Erin felt an urge to brush away the signs of strain that seemed to age his face. The line of his jaw tensed as he spoke. “The biggest error in judgment I made was that at the time I didn’t fight for custody. I subscribed to the same myth as the rest of the world: A young girl needs to be with her mother, regardless of the weaknesses or the frame of mind of the woman.” A tortured look came into his steely eyes. “And then, to compound the mistake, I threw myself into my work, trying to erase the memories that had become painful. My attitude—it wasn’t fair to Krista. To put it bluntly, I neglected my child. Not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to hide from the memories.” He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed the back of his neck to ease the tension that had knotted at the base of his head as he thought about the divorce and his child. He seemed tired and weary; Erin felt the burn of tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
His voice was a muted whisper when he continued. “I saw Krista occasionally of course, but not nearly as much as I wanted to or should have…it was just too difficult, too much of a struggle.” A black eyebrow cocked sardonically. “A selfish attitude, wouldn’t you say?” he asked her rhetorically. His next sentence was one of self-condemnation. “I was a bastard of a father!”
He hesitated only slightly, and that was to wave his arm emphatically, stilling the protest that was forming in Erin’s throat.
“Within a year Jana was trying to rebuild her career. It was difficult for her because she was six years older and slightly out of shape. Modeling, for the most part, is for the very young woman with an almost boyishly slim figure. No one in the New York or Los Angeles agencies was interested in Jana. As far as they were concerned, Jana was yesterday’s news.
“Then this Hollywood actress obsession took hold of her, and unfortunately she failed, dismally trying to remember her lines as the cameras rolled.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “It was at about that point that she began making the self-help and group therapy rounds. She went through periods of fad diets, deep depression, sensitivity groups—you name it and she was into it. I suggested that she go to a respected local psychiatrist, but she ignored my advice as usual and preferred to stick with the most faddish encounter group of the day.
“That’s when I decided to do something about Krista. As poor a father as I had been, even I knew that all Jana’s neuroses couldn’t be good for an impressionable nine-year-old girl. Damn!” He swore at himself and bit his lower lip in annoyed remembrance. “I should have seen it earlier. Maybe I could have prevented all of Krista’s problems. Perhaps if I had been paying a little more attention to my kid rather than my business interests, Jana would be alive today and Krista would be walking like a normal and healthy eleven-year-old!”
“You can’t blame yourself,” Erin objected. “You tried to help.”
Steely gray eyes flashed fire at her. “‘Too little, too late,’ as the saying goes.”
Erin had trouble keeping her silence. She saw the emotions that were ripping him apart as he thought about his past. His fist clenched tightly before he thrust it into the pocket of his pants.

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