His Lordship′s Desire
His Lordship's Desire
Joan Wolf
Napoleon's troops stand defeated and Wellington's Spanish campaign is over. Now a dedicated British soldier enters a very different hind of war: a battle for the woman he loves…The eldest son of the Earl of Standish and heir to his late father's holdings, Alexander Devize is summoned home to his duties in England. Waiting for him, he believes, is Diana Sherwood, the irrepressible beauty with whom he shared an unforgettable night of passion, a young woman he fully intends to marry. But Diana, lovelier and more headstrong than ever, has other intentions.A soldier's daughter, Diana refuses to suffer the harsh world of being a soldier's wife and plans instead her coming out in London, ignoring the memories of wild and reckless Alex. Convinced she's found the proper, stable gentleman in Robert Welbourne, she pursues her course, unaware of a treachery building around her–or of the unwavering devotion of a soldier willing to fight for all he's worth in a battle he must not lose.
Praise for the novels of JOAN WOLF
“Romance writing at its very best.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review) on The Guardian
“Wolf’s intricately plotted and vividly detailed historical romance introduces the reader to a time and a conflict unfamiliar to many and offers intriguing glimpses of the main players and the great stakes involved.”
—Booklist on To the Castle
“Joan Wolf never fails to deliver the best.”
—Nora Roberts
“An entertaining and thought-provoking read.”
—Washington Post Book World on The Reindeer Hunters
“Wolf…leaps into the contemporary romantic suspense arena with this smart, compelling read.”
—Publishers Weekly on Silverbridge
“A quick-moving, enchanting tale…
An excellent choice for readers who want an exciting epic.”
—Booklist on Daughter of the Red Deer
“Captivating…endearing…heartwarming…
Wolf’s assured storytelling is simply the best.”
—BookPage on Royal Bride
“Fast paced, highly readable…”
—Library Journal on The Gamble
“Joan Wolf is absolutely wonderful.
I’ve loved her work for years.”
—Iris Johansen
“The always-awesome Joan Wolf proves she is a master in any format or genre.”
—Romantic Times BOOKclub
Also by JOAN WOLF
TO THE CASTLE
WHITE HORSES
His Lordship’s Desire
Joan Wolf
www.mirabooks.co.uk (http://www.mirabooks.co.uk)
As always, for Joe.
Contents
Chapter One (#u968fbabf-545c-57b9-8b91-e724c61042ab)
Chapter Two (#uc4d1c7b1-460c-5a18-ba46-914e26514156)
Chapter Three (#ud71cba02-3edc-5a4e-a838-e39deaf9f1f6)
Chapter Four (#u69038499-24d7-5079-9941-483ba0829314)
Chapter Five (#u42042c2c-6ba2-5b4e-a614-a31d85ff585c)
Chapter Six (#u7aba609c-50ac-5278-8257-815a0d027c45)
Chapter Seven (#ubd447bf4-25b3-5258-902c-08e5b7840116)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
One
Perched high on the Berkshire downs, five miles north of Lambourn, Standish Court rose out of the mist before the eyes of Alexander Devize. He had not seen his home in over three years and the sight of the large, spreading redbrick building, built around a graveled courtyard, caused a sudden tightening in his stomach. When he left home three years ago, his father had been alive and in charge. Now Alex was the Earl of Standish and he wasn’t quite sure he was ready to assume the huge responsibilities that came with his new position. The change from the chaos of the battlefield to the settled sprawling acres of Standish Court would take some getting used to.
He left his phaeton at the bottom of the shallow set of stairs that led to the front door and walked slowly upward. He raised the knocker and banged it three times.
The door was opened promptly by a burly young footman who looked at him politely. “Yes, sir. May I help you?”
Alex had opened his mouth to identify himself when an elderly voice from behind the footman said, “You stupid dolt. That’s his lordship!”
Henrys, who had been butler to the Devizes for as long as Alex could remember, pushed the large footman out of his way and said in a quavering voice, “My lord, my lord, how wonderful it is to see you home!”
Alex took the old man’s hand. “It’s grand to be here, Henrys. I hope I don’t give everyone too much of a shock.”
“Not at all, my lord. Not at all. Her ladyship will be so glad to see you! She and Mrs. Sherwood are in the Yellow Drawing Room. Will you go to them or do you wish me to announce you?”
“I’ll go along myself, Henrys.” He gestured to the door. “My phaeton is waiting. Will you see that everything is taken care of?”
“Of course, my lord, I shall see to it immediately.”
Alex took off his hat uncovering his black curls, then walked slowly through the entrance hall. He went through the arch that Adam had created to replicate the Arch of Constantine in Rome and into the centerpiece of the whole house, a huge circular domed room lined with twenty Corinthian columns carved from a striking green-veined marble. The vast open floor was marble and on the walls were a series of grisaille panels depicting sacrificial and martial scenes.
Alex’s father had designed the room to inspire awe and wonder from the onlooker, and it fulfilled that role admirably. Alex stood looking at it for a long moment, then he proceeded to the right, to the staircase that would take him to the second floor.
On the second floor he passed through the main drawing room, which had a magnificent plaster-work ceiling by Joseph Rose, an intricate Thomas Witty carpet which mirrored the ceiling’s design, pale blue damask walls and Chippendale furniture, through the music room and into the smaller Yellow Drawing Room, which had windows looking out on the front and the west side of the house.
The two women were seated on matching Chinese-style sofas with a tea table set up between them. Both were holding fragile teacups in their hands. Alex focused on the woman with gray-blond hair drawn back into a smooth chignon, “Hello, Mama. I’m home.”
Lady Standish looked at him and dropped her teacup on the Persian rug. “Alex? Good gracious, is that you?”
“Yes, it is Mama.” He smiled. “I’m sorry to give you such a shock.”
“You’re home!” Lady Standish shrieked. She stood up and held out her arms. “You’re home, you’re home, you’re home!”
He enveloped her in a giant hug. “Yes, I’m really home,” he said. “You shouldn’t be too surprised. You wrote me that I was needed.” He kissed her soft cheek. “You smell good,” he said.
“I thought you would come home by yourself last year, when your father died,” she said a little accusingly.
“We were in the middle of the campaign to push the French out of Spain, Mama. We’ve done that now, and I felt that my usefulness was over. So here I am.”
Lady Standish sighed. “Well, I won’t reproach you any longer.” She turned to the woman who was sitting on the other sofa. “Louisa, is it not wonderful that Alex has come home?”
Louisa Sherwood, his mother’s cousin, nodded her head. “It’s good to see you again, Alex. We’ve all missed you.”
Lady Standish returned to her seat and said, “Ring the bell, Alex, and I’ll have this tea stain cleared up. Would you like to join Louisa and me for tea? Or perhaps you would care for a glass of sherry?”
Alex smiled. “Tea would be fine, Mama.” He sat in a fragile-looking Chinese-style chair that was near the two matching yellow sofas. “Having a quiet Sunday afternoon, are you?”
“Yes. The girls went out for a ride and they took the children with them, so we have some time to ourselves.”
A footman came into the room. “Clarence,” Lady Standish said, “bring more tea. And come back with something to rub out this tea stain.”
“Yes, my lady,” the footman replied.
As he left the room, Lady Standish turned eagerly to her son. “How grown-up you look, Alex. You were a boy when last I saw you. Now you are a man.”
“Yes, well, war will do that to a fellow, Mama,” he returned soberly.
“I almost died when I heard you were wounded at Vitoria. I thought for sure you would come home to recuperate.”
“It was nothing more than a flesh wound, Mama. I wrote you that. It healed very quickly.”
The footman returned bearing a tray with more tea and an extra cup and saucer. While the footman rubbed at the carpet, Lady Standish poured her son some tea.
Alex accepted the cup and turned courteously to the other woman in the room. “How are you, Cousin Louisa? You are looking very well.”
Louisa Sherwood was a very pretty woman and she smiled pleasantly at Alex. “I am very well, thank you, Alex.”
Alex turned back to his mother. “Now, what is so pressing that you sent me such an urgent letter?”
Lady Standish’s face became serious. “The estate has been solely in the hands of our estate manager for a year now, and I think it is time that someone oversees what he is doing. He tells me the cottages by the river need reroofing, but I do not like to authorize such an expenditure without your approval. There are several other things that need doing. It was time for you to come home, Alex.”
Alex thought that his mother, who had been living at Standish Court all the while that he was away, should know more about the necessity of reroofing the cottages than he did, but he didn’t say so. He merely nodded and took another sip of tea.
“We can also use your help in another area,” Lady Standish said. “I am bringing out your sister this season, and Louisa’s daughter, Diana, is to make her come-out with Sally.” Sally was the family’s pet name for Lady Sarah, Alex’s eldest sister. “It will be much more pleasant for us to have a gentleman to escort us than to have to go places by ourselves.”
Alex put his cup on the table closest to him. “Dee is twenty,” he said. “Hasn’t she already made a come-out?”
“Well, she has been ‘out’ in the neighborhood, certainly. And she has had her share of proposals. But she’s refused them all, so I said that when I took Sally to London, Diana could come along.”
“An incredibly generous offer that we deeply appreciate,” Mrs. Sherwood said softly.
Lady Standish patted her cousin’s hand. “I have never forgotten how kind Diana was to Sally the year that she was so ill. And I will be very happy to have your company.”
The two women smiled mistily at each other.
“So you are taking both Dee and Sally to London for the Season,” Alex said. “Is this a husband-hunting expedition?” His voice was a little tense.
“Of course it is,” Lady Standish returned. “That’s the whole reason for any young girl to make a come-out.”
At this point, the door to the Yellow Drawing Room opened and a beautiful girl with coppery-gold curls and wearing a well-used riding habit came into the room. Alex’s breath caught.
“I am sorry to have to tell you this, Cousin Amelia, but Maria fell off her pony and I’m afraid she may have broken her collarbone. She is asking for you. Will you come?”
Lady Standish got immediately to her feet. “Of course I will come. What happened?”
“A deer darted out on the trail and spooked Candy. Maria fell off. I am terribly sorry, Cousin Amelia. It all happened so quickly that there was nothing we could do.”
“Have you sent for the doctor?” Lady Standish asked as she made for the door.
“Yes. I sent one of the grooms from the stable.”
“Oh dear!” Lady Standish moaned. “What is it about that child that she is always in trouble?”
The door closed behind her.
Alex, who had stood up as soon as Diana entered, now said, “Hello, Dee. It’s good to see you again.”
The girl’s dark brown eyes turned to him. Something flashed in their brilliant depths and then was gone. Her hand touched the back of the sofa. “Hello, Alex,” she said. There was a pause. “Or should I call you ‘your lordship’?”
He felt himself flush. “I will always be Alex to you. You know that.”
She raised a perfect winged brow. “Do I?”
He felt his breathing coming faster than usual. She had been beautiful at seventeen, but now, at twenty…“You should,” he managed to say firmly.
She shrugged, a lissome movement of her slender shoulders. “It’s good you’ve finally come home. Your mother has need of you. Standish Court is an enormous estate. You have responsibilities here.”
The brown eyes that were looking at him were cold. He was not accustomed to having Diana look at him like that, and he set his mouth and said quietly, “I realize that. That’s why I have come.”
“The war is over anyway, is it not?” she said.
“Yes. The allies are ready to enter Paris, and Napoleon will be forced to sign an Act of Abdication one of these days.”
Dismissing him from her attention, Diana turned to her mother. “I think I will go back to the stables and check on Candy, Mama. She didn’t seem to take any harm, but I want to make sure.”
“I’ll go with you,” Alex said quickly. “I’d like to see what horses you have. Monty is still here, isn’t he?”
“Of course. In fact, I have been riding him, so he is in excellent condition.”
He turned to Mrs. Sherwood. “Will you excuse us, ma’am?”
She looked from him to her daughter then back again to him. “Of course,” she said after the briefest of pauses. “When you are done, return to our house, Diana. I want to finish fitting that new dress of yours.”
“All right, Mama,” Diana said, and the two young people went out the door.
They didn’t speak as they went down the stairs and through the back hall to the door that was closest to the stables. The garden was still mostly bare from the winter and the great fountain with nymphs and cherubs was dry as well. The footpath to the stable led through the garden and down a grassy hill. At the bottom of the hill stood the brick stable building and the stable yard, which was surrounded by a stone wall. In the distance were the fenced-in pad-docks where two horses were turned out.
As they passed under the stable arch, Alex finally broke the silence. “I wrote to you many times, but you never once wrote back. Not once, in all those years.”
She raised her chin and kept walking. “Did you expect me to? You made your choice, Alex. I said it was either the army or me and you chose the army. It wasn’t I who ended things between us, it was you.”
He put a hand on her arm, forcing her to stop and face him. “You told me to go.”
“It was so obvious that you wanted to go, Alex. I just said the words you wanted to hear. But I never said that I would wait for you.”
“But you haven’t married,” he said.
She shrugged, a typical Diana gesture. “There is no one around here that I want to marry. But I am going to make my come-out with Sally next month and, hopefully, we will both find suitable husbands in London.”
He looked down at her. He was two inches over six feet tall and the top of her head reached only to his nose.
He tightened his grip on her arm. “I thought about you all the time I was away. I missed you, Dee. I told you that in my letters.”
“I never read them,” she said, and pulled away from him and continued on into the stable yard. A tall, broad-shouldered man in his thirties was holding a horse in front of the stable, and his face broke into a huge grin when he saw Alex. “My lord,” he said. “You’re home!”
Alex forced a smile and went over to Standish Court’s head groom. “Yes, Henley, I’m home to stay. How are you? You look well.”
“I am very good, thank you, your lordship. We were all that worried about you when we heard you was wounded!”
“It was nothing,” Alex said. “It healed very quickly. Miss Sherwood has come to check on the pony that threw my sister and I have come to have a look at the horses.”
Henley called to a young boy to come and take the horse he was holding. “Monty is in fine fettle,” he said. “Miss Diana has been keeping him fit for you.”
“Why don’t you show his lordship around the stable and I will take a look at Candy,” Diana said.
“Fine!” Henley said enthusiastically.
Alex glanced at Diana but she was not looking at him. After a moment he moved off with Henley.
“We haven’t made many changes since your father died,” Henley said as they walked down the wide aisle and looked into the light, airy stalls. “We kept his two hunters and Master James and Master Jeremy ride them when they come home from school. The grooms keep them exercised and Miss Diana will take them out occasionally and put them over some jumps. Here is Annie, Miss Diana’s horse.”
Alex looked into the stall at the tall, rangy bay mare. Strictly speaking, Annie did not belong to Diana. Alex’s father had bought the mare from an abusive owner and had allowed Diana to ride her, deeming the mare not good enough for any of his own children.
Alex said, “She must be getting on in years by now.”
“She’s virtually retired,” Henley said. “Miss Diana has been riding Monty lately. Of course, now that you’re home…”
“I have a horse coming,” Alex said. “The horse I rode in Spain. There’s no reason why Miss Diana can’t keep riding Monty.”
Henley beamed. He had always adored Diana. “You’d think that horse should be too big for her, but he’s like butter in her hands. I think she can ride anything, Miss Diana.”
They were standing at the stall of a stocky chestnut gelding, who came over to greet them. He looked at Alex with soft eyes.
“This one is new,” Alex said.
“He belongs to Lady Sarah. He’s a sweetheart.”
They continued on down the aisle, looking at the carriage horses and the ponies that belonged to Alex’s two younger sisters, Maria and Margaret. Diana was in the stall with one of the ponies and she came out as they approached.
“There’s no heat,” she said. “I thought she might have kicked herself when she spooked, but she seems all right.”
“She’s a feisty little pony,” Henley said. “Maybe she’s too much for Lady Maria.”
“She’s new,” Alex said. “I don’t remember her.”
“Maria outgrew her old pony and we got her Candy a few months ago,” Diana said. “She was quiet when I looked at her, but she seems to have a habit of spooking.”
“Having a deer jump out in front of her would spook most horses,” Alex commented.
“True,” Diana said. “But there have been other occasions…”
“Remember that hellion of a pony I used to have?” Alex asked.
For the first time a faint smile tilted Diana’s lips. “You loved him because he would jump anything.”
“He would buck at anything, too.”
The smile disappeared from Diana’s face. “I hope the horses meet with your approval,” she said stiffly.
“Miss Diana has taken charge of the stable since your father died, your lordship,” Henley said. “She has made sure that everything runs smoothly.”
“I see that I must thank you, Dee,” Alex said. “I appreciate your time and effort.”
“It was nothing,” she said dismissively. “Now I think we had better return to the house and see what has happened to poor Maria.”
She strode down the aisle toward the door and he lingered a moment, watching her slim figure clad in a serviceable riding skirt and a wool jacket. Her red-gold hair caught all the light in the stable.
After a moment, he followed her.
Two
Maria had indeed broken her collarbone and Alex bent to kiss his ten-year-old sister and commiserate with her.
“Have you ever broken your collarbone?” she asked. Her face was white and her blond curls were tumbled.
“No, but I broke my arm once.”
“Falling from a horse?”
“Yes. My pony bucked me off.”
Maria said, “I don’t think I like Candy. She is always jumping at things.”
“Then we’ll get you another pony,” he said promptly.
“She was good when I tried her. It was just when we got her home that she started to act spooky.”
“Then she’s not the pony for you,” he said. “We’ll get you something more reliable.”
She smiled at him. “Thank you, Alex.”
“Maria needs something like my Basil,” said Margaret, Alex’s twelve-year-old sister. “He’s very steady.”
“We’ll see what we can find,” he said.
Alex, Diana, Sally and Margaret were in Maria’s room and Maria was in bed, where Lady Standish had insisted she stay for the rest of the afternoon. Maria’s left arm was in a sling.
“At least it’s your left arm,” Margaret said.
“Yes,” Maria said glumly. “Jeremy is going to make fun of me when he hears that I fell off and broke my collarbone.”
Jeremy was Alex’s brother who was at Eton.
“No he won’t,” Alex said. “I won’t let him.”
Maria’s blue eyes looked hopefully at her eldest brother. “You won’t?”
“No.”
Maria smiled. “I’m glad you’re home, Alex.”
“I’m glad I’m home, too,” he said.
“I think we should all leave and give Maria a chance to rest,” Sally said.
Diana was the first one to turn to the door. She was followed by Margaret, then Sally and lastly Alex. He closed the door behind him gently.
Once they were out in the hall, his eighteen-year-old sister Sally smiled up at him. “We’re so glad you’re home and that you’re safe,” she said.
“I’m glad to be home,” Alex said for perhaps the dozenth time that day.
“Did Mama tell you that Diana and I are going to make our come-outs next month?” Sally asked.
“Yes, she did.”
“You can be our escort, Alex. Perhaps you will even find a girl you want to marry yourself.”
Alex’s eyes went to Diana. “Perhaps,” he said.
Dinner that evening was a festive affair. It was a welcome home dinner for Alex and both Margaret and Maria were allowed to join the family at the table. Diana and her mother were also present. Lady Standish explained to Alex that since his father had died she had invited her cousin Louisa and her daughter to join her for dinner every evening. “It would have been too sad, with just Sally and me.”
The Sherwood women lived in a cottage on the Standish estate and had done so for the past eighteen years. Lady Standish had invited her cousin Louisa to make use of the house when her husband had been called to military duty in India. Mr. Sherwood had eventually attained the rank of colonel and after India he had been called to the Peninsula, where he had perished in the Battle of Corunna.
The Sherwoods were not in the same social or financial class as the Earl and Countess of Standish, but because the two women were close friends, the Sherwoods had often taken part in the activities of Standish Court. The earl had been very tolerant of his wife’s cousin, but he had been more aware of the gap between the two families than his wife had been. Both women knew that if the earl had been alive, Diana would not have been making her come-out with Sally.
So Alex sat around the table that night with six females. It was a distinct change for a man who for the past three years had known masculine companionship almost exclusively.
“You must sit down with Billings and go over the estate books,” Lady Sherwood said to her son as the soup course was served. “I think he is a good man, but your papa was scrupulous about keeping up with all of the estate accounts. I believe there is also something that needs to be done with the property in Derbyshire.”
How different my life is going to be, Alex thought. All my life, all I wanted was to be a soldier. Now that’s over and I’m an earl. He let his eyes roam around the familiar but somehow strange-looking room. Then he looked back at his mother.
“I’ll talk to him, Mama,” he said.
Lady Standish gave him a grateful smile. “It is so good to have you home, my son.”
“Alex said he would get me a new pony, Mama,” Maria said. “Candy is too dangerous.”
“Good, good,” said Lady Standish. “We can’t have you breaking your bones, Maria.”
“What do you think is going to happen in France, Alex?” Mrs. Sherwood asked.
Alex looked at her. She was still very attractive but she had never been the beauty her daughter was. “We have Napoleon on the ropes, ma’am,” he replied. “He is going to have to abdicate.”
“Does that mean the king will come back?” Diana asked.
Alex turned his eyes to her. She was dressed in a simple ivory evening dress that set off the pure white of her skin. It gave him a shock of physical pleasure just to look at her. She was even more beautiful than the image he had carried in his heart for all those years. “He said Louis has been waiting patiently in England for this chance for a long time.”
“Well, I hope they set up a government more like ours, with a parliament that gives the people some power,” Diana said. “It would be a shame for France to have gone through all it has only to end up with the same old Bourbons again.”
Alex smiled at her. “Still a revolutionary, eh Dee?”
“I wouldn’t call it revolutionary to wish for a governing parliament,” Diana replied soberly.
“I don’t think France will ever be the same again,” Alex said. “The revolution has left its mark, that’s for certain.”
“Well, I think that’s a good thing,” Diana replied decidedly.
Sally said, “When do you think we can leave for London, Mama?”
“I would like to have our ball before the end of April,” Lady Standish replied. “That means we will have to be in London several weeks earlier, to make plans and to buy clothes.”
Sally smiled. She had golden curls and sky-blue eyes like Alex. She said now, “It is going to be such fun, isn’t it, Diana?”
Diana smiled back. “Yes, it is.”
“What’s all this about a ball?” Alex said.
“We must have a ball to introduce the girls to society,” his mother said. “You will be the host, of course.”
He frowned. “I don’t know about this, Mama. I’ve been away at war for the last three years. I don’t know anything about balls.”
“You won’t have to do a thing,” his mother assured him. “Louisa and I will do it all. All you need to do is be there and stand in the receiving line with us. Oh, and dance with each of the girls, of course. And with as many other ladies as you can.”
Alex’s frown remained. “I had no idea when you called me home that I was going to be thrust into the middle of London’s social whirl.”
“It is your proper place,” his mother said. “You are the head of the family now, Alex. You have responsibilities.”
I know I do, he thought a little grimly. I just didn’t think that one of them was going to be to help Dee find a husband.
The following week was a whirlwind of activity for Alex. His estate agent, John Billings, took him all over the property belonging to Standish Court and pointed out the things that needed to be taken care of. His banker came from London and spent many hours going over his assets and encumbrances.
The late Lord Standish had been a prudent man and the estate was in good financial order. His mother had a widow’s jointure and use of the dower house should she want it. His brothers and sisters were Alex’s responsibility, but there was ample money to fund the boys’ educations and the girls’ come-outs into society.
In fact, Alex was a very wealthy man.
Mr. Billings had a few pet projects—like a canal on the Derbyshire estate—that he had been trying to get the late earl to invest in, and he brought them up to Alex, who put him off, promising to think about them.
Alex drove over to Oxford and Eton to visit his two younger brothers, who each managed to cadge ten pounds off of him.
By the end of the week, the whole family was as comfortable with Alex as if he had never gone away. Everyone, that is, except Diana.
He had tried numerous times to be alone with her, but she had not cooperated. She didn’t want to take a ride with him; she didn’t want to take a walk out to the lake with him; she didn’t even want to go with him to look at a new pony for Maria.
It was very frustrating.
He even stooped to trying to stir up a little sympathy from her by remarking that the damp weather was bothering his wound. She simply gave him a brilliant, dark-eyed stare. “What a shame,” she said, and walked away.
It didn’t help that she was so beautiful, that every time he saw her he wanted to catch her in his arms and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. It was quite clear to him, however, that such an action would only alienate her further.
“Why are you so angry at Alex?” Sally asked Diana suddenly one afternoon as the girls were sitting side by side in the Yellow Drawing Room looking at magazines of the latest styles in clothing.
Diana felt a stab of alarm. “I’m not angry at him. Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Well, you’re very short with him, that’s for certain. And he is trying to be so nice to you. It’s not like you, Diana, not to be friendly. Especially to Alex.”
“I’m friendly,” Diana said defensively. She couldn’t meet Sally’s honest gaze so she kept her eyes on her magazine.
“No, you’re not. Look at me, Diana. What’s wrong?”
Diana looked up, her brown eyes meeting Sally’s sky-blue gaze. The two girls were very close, and it was difficult for Diana to fib.
“Nothing is wrong,” Diana said crisply. “You’re imagining things, Sally. It’s just that my mind is on things other than Alex right now. I’m very excited about our London come-out.”
Pretty color flushed into Sally’s cheeks. She was a lovely girl, the picture of innocent girlhood poised on the brink of becoming a woman. She had been allowed this last year to attend one or two local assemblies and house parties where she had encountered young men, but her experiences had not given her any hint of sophistication.
“I’m excited about it, too,” she said. “It will be so different from our usual life here at Standish Court.”
“I know,” Diana said. She tried to focus her mind on their upcoming London visit. “Cousin Amelia says that there are places to ride. Hyde Park is evidently a popular venue. We will need horses. I wonder if Alex knows which ones he is going to bring.”
“Ask him,” Sally urged. “You will be miserable if you can’t ride.”
“I know.”
“Then ask him. You know Mama is leaving the horses up to Alex. Find out from him what he is going to do.”
Later that afternoon, Diana had an opportunity to ask Alex this important question. They were both at the stable at the same time. Diana was lunging Candy when a carriage came in with a jet-black horse tied behind it. Shortening up the lunge line, Diana went over to look at the black horse, which was standing quietly looking around him.
He was a large animal, with a beautiful arched neck, short back and long, strong-looking legs.
Henley came out of the stable and went over to the carriage. “This must be his lordship’s horse from the Peninsula,” he said to the driver.
“That’s right,” the driver answered. “This is Black Bart. I’ve brought him all the way from Bordeaux.”
“I’ll send to the house to tell his lordship you are here,” Henley said.
While they waited for Alex, Diana introduced herself to Black Bart. He took the piece of carrot she offered and pricked his ears forward when she began to talk to him. Then, once they were acquainted, she proceed to run her hands down his legs and over his nicely sloping shoulders.
“Bart!” It was Alex’s voice. “How are you, fellow? I’ve missed you!”
The horse nickered when he heard the familiar voice. Alex went over to rub his forehead and scratch under his mane in a place he clearly liked.
Diana said, “He’s a beautiful horse, Alex.”
He turned his head to grin at her. “He saved my bacon a few times, I can tell you that. Unlike many cavalry horses who simply gallop forward out of control, Bart always listened to me.” He turned back to the gelding. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you fellow?”
Bart tossed his head in reply.
Alex turned to Henley. “Is his stall ready?”
“Aye, my lord. We’ve had it ready for several days now.”
The sun glinted off the black of the horse’s coat and the black of Alex’s hair as he took the rope that had tied the horse to the carriage, turned him and began to lead him toward the barn.
Diana followed.
Once Bart had been established in his stall with a bucket of fresh water and a pile of hay, Alex turned away from the door and for the first time seemed to notice Diana’s presence.
“So you like him, Dee?” he asked.
“Very much.” She began to walk out of the barn with him. “Have you decided what horses you are bringing to London with you?”
They had left the stable yard and followed the path back to the house. “I will have the carriage horses, of course, and I will bring horses for you and Sally to ride. And I’ll bring Bart for me.”
“Do you think you could bring Monty for me?” Diana asked a little breathlessly. “Annie is basically retired. She’s lame more often than she’s not.”
He frowned. “Monty’s all right in the country, but can you trust him in the city, with all the traffic? He’s never been in a city in his life.”
“I’m sure he’ll be all right,” Diana said.
“Perhaps we would be better off buying you a horse accustomed to London. I can always go to Tattersalls and pick you up a good riding horse.”
“I’d rather have Monty,” Diana insisted. “I have grown very fond of him since you left. I ride him almost every day.”
He stopped and regarded her with lifted black brows. “So you took over my horse, eh?”
“You left him,” she said, her beautiful lips set into a grim line. “You didn’t care what happened to him.”
He kept looking at her, then he turned and began to walk again. “I left him in my father’s stable, where no horse has ever been neglected. I had no worry that he would be mistreated. Moreover, I knew from Sally that you were riding him.”
It was stupid to alienate him, she thought. Not when she wanted this favor from him. “He’s like my own horse,” she said in a softer voice. “Please, Alex, if you’re not going to bring him for yourself, bring him for me. I’m looking forward to going to London, but if I can’t ride I shall be miserable.”
“Very well,” he said abruptly. “I’ll take Monty.”
She drew in her breath audibly. “Thank you,” she said.
He nodded and they continued their walk. After a minute of silence, he said, “You don’t have to go to London to find a husband, you know. You can marry me.”
She had spent her whole girlhood thinking she would marry Alex. But that was all changed now. “That’s good of you,” she said expressionlessly, “but it’s too late, Alex.”
“You’re only twenty and I’m twenty-two! How can it be too late?”
All of the anger and pain and feelings of abandonment bubbled up inside her and this time she couldn’t push them back down. She turned on him passionately. “It was too late the day you made your decision to go into the army,” she said angrily. “That was the day you killed whatever it was that I felt for you.”
He caught her arm and held her facing him. “I can’t believe that’s true.”
She stared down at his hand and slowly he opened his fingers and let her go.
“Believe it,” she said, as she turned and walked away. “Because it’s the truth.”
Three
It was several days since the shock of seeing Alex again had caused Diana to jump and her breath to accelerate. When he had called her Dee…no one else in this world had ever called her Dee. It was a symbol of the bond between them, that name.
But as the time passed, and the unexpectedness of seeing him began to wear off, she found herself more able to steel herself when she was in his presence. He was busy about the estate and she often didn’t see him until dinnertime. There, surrounded by the rest of the family, it was easier to be cool and composed, to let herself pretend that she was indifferent to him.
She wanted to be indifferent to him. Whatever had been between them had been irrevocably severed three years ago, when he had chosen to leave her. She believed that firmly. What she had felt then, and what had happened to her after his departure, was a chasm between them that could never be bridged.
He showed me how unimportant I was to him, she told herself. Now that he is home he thinks he can pick up right where he left off. Well, he can’t. I don’t need him. I don’t need to marry a wealthy earl. I need to marry a steady sort of man with a comfortable income, someone who I can rely on, someone who will be a good father to my children. Someone who will be there when I need him. Not like Alex.
Diana was very aware that she and her mother lived on the edge of poverty. If it had not been for Lady Standish providing them with a home and some social standing, she would have grown up in rented rooms in a city like Bath. Her father had been the younger son of a squire and the only money he had was his army pay. After he died, the Sherwoods had lived on a tiny pension, supplemented by the piano lessons that Mrs. Sherwood gave to local children. It was only because of Louisa Sherwood’s connection to Lady Standish that Diana had had the opportunity to ride horses and go to parties.
This opportunity to make a come-out in London was a godsend to her. She knew she had to marry. The thought of spending the rest of her life hanging on Alex’s generosity made her shudder. She knew a good marriage wasn’t going to be easy for a penniless girl like her. But she was aware of her beauty and she thought that in all of London there must be at least one good man who would find her beautiful enough, and personable enough, to want to marry her.
Sally would attract earls and viscounts; Diana was not foolish enough to expect that kind of attention. What she wanted was a nice, solid man, a house in the country, with dogs and horses and children. Surely that was not too much to hope for.
She only wished that Alex was not coming with them.
A few weeks after Alex’s return, an invitation arrived from Viscountess Alston asking the Devizes and the Sherwoods to a small party she was having at Reeve House. The Alstons lived some seven miles away from Standish Court and were the nearest neighbors of their own social standing. Alex’s father had been friends with Viscount Alston and when the earl was alive the two families had often socialized. Lady Standish accepted the invitation for herself and the Sherwoods.
“I’m sure they want to see you, Alex,” Lady Standish said as they discussed the invitation over dinner that night. Instead of eating in the huge formal dining room, the family usually dined in the smaller family eating room that was much cozier than the elegant perfection that Adam had created in the main room.
“Is it to be just us and the Alstons?” he asked.
“I gather from Phoebe’s note that she has asked a few other people from the neighborhood. You know we have never stood on ceremony in the country, Alex. I’m sure Dr. Lawrence will be there, and probably the squire. And Sir Burton Nable, as well.”
“I hope Ned comes,” Alex said. “I’ve been meaning to go and see him.”
Sir Burton’s son Ned had been a good friend of Alex’s when the boys were young. Ned had also gone to the Peninsula, but he had not been as lucky as Alex. He had been in an infantry regiment and had lost the lower part of his left leg at Salamanca.
“I would be surprised if Ned were not there,” Mrs. Sherwood said. “He is engaged to be married, Alex. Do you remember Lizzie Carruthers?”
“Yes. Good heavens, is Lizzie old enough to be married?”
“She’s eighteen, the same age as I am,” Sally said.
“It’s strange, but when you’re away you picture people staying the way they were when last you saw them,” Alex said, his eyes on Diana. “You don’t picture them as changing at all.”
“Everybody changes,” Diana replied. “And three years is a long time. I’m certainly not the same person at twenty that I was at seventeen, when you went away.”
“I’ve noticed that,” he said.
When dinner was ended they all retired upstairs to the music room, where Sally entertained them on the piano. She was very good and the others sat quietly and listened with pleasure to the strains of Mozart. Alex watched Diana, who was seated on a sofa next to her mother.
The curve of her cheekbones held great sweetness and the large, dark eyes in that fair-skinned face were marvelously arresting. Her mouth was perfect. Not too thin, not too full—just perfect.
She had a right to be angry with him. He knew that. He had had to choose between staying home for her or fulfilling his lifelong dream of being a soldier. He had chosen the latter. At nineteen, the dream had exerted a more powerful fascination than she had.
If he had known then what he knew now about war, he wondered if he would have made the same choice.
As if she had felt his gaze, she turned her head to look at him. For the briefest of moments something powerful flared between them. Then she frowned, looked down to smooth her skirt and returned her gaze to Sally.
She’s not indifferent to me, Alex thought over his thudding heart. No matter what she might say, something’s still left of what was once between us. I’m sure of it. Perhaps I haven’t lost her after all. If I’m just patient enough…
The music stopped and Lady Standish said to her daughter, “That was lovely, dear.”
Sally turned around on the piano seat and smiled at her audience. Everyone clapped.
Lady Standish said, “Let’s move into the Yellow Drawing Room for tea.”
On the night of the Alston’s party, Lady Standish decreed that they should all ride in the Standish coach.
“There is no reason for you to have to freeze driving an open carriage, Alex,” she said to her son. “You can squeeze in with Sally and Diana. After all, we aren’t going far.”
Alex, who liked the idea of squeezing in with Diana, did not argue with his mother’s pronouncement.
So it was that the five people assembled on the drive in front of the house to get into the elegant, well-sprung Standish carriage. Lady Standish and Mrs. Sherwood got in first, sitting on one side of the carriage, then Lady Standish beckoned to her son to follow her.
Alex climbed in and seated himself by the far window opposite to his mother and Mrs. Sherwood. Outside he heard Sally say, “Would you mind if I had the window seat, Diana? You know I am prone to motion sickness.”
There was a distinct pause, then Diana said, “Of course, Sally.”
Alex watched as Diana climbed into the carriage and sat beside him. She left a good amount of space between the two of them, but when Sally joined them she was forced to move closer.
Alex put his arm along the back of the seat, as if to make more room. It was dark inside the carriage, but he could feel the closeness of her body with every cell in his own. His body stirred. He hadn’t been this close to her since he had been home.
“There now, that’s not too bad, is it?” Lady Standish said cheerfully.
“It’s fine, Mama,” Sally said.
Diana was silent.
After a moment, the carriage started forward.
“I’m glad it’s a nice clear night,” Lady Standish said. “I dislike driving at night in the rain. I’m always afraid William will drive us off the road. He’s getting old and I don’t think he sees that well in the dark.”
“Good heavens, Mama,” Alex said. “Why on earth are you employing a coachman who can’t see in the dark?”
“Your father was going to retire him, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him. He’s been with us for so many years…”
“Well, he can’t keep his job if he can’t see,” Alex said reasonably. “There’s an empty cottage next to where Nanny lives. I’ll give him a nice pension. They can be retired together.”
Lady Standish sighed. “You’re right, of course. I suppose I just didn’t want any more changes after your father died.”
“Poor William,” Diana said mournfully. “What will he do with himself if he can’t drive the coach?”
“He can fish,” Alex said. “He always went fishing on his day off. He taught me a thing or two about catching fish when I was small.”
“I didn’t know William fished,” Sally said.
“Fancy that,” Lady Standish said.
“We’ll find someone younger to replace him, Mama,” Alex said. “You’ll be more comfortable with a man you’re not afraid is going to put you in a ditch.”
“Thank you, Alex,” Lady Standish said.
“Poor William,” Diana repeated softly.
“William will be fine,” Alex said firmly, “and his job can be filled by one of the men who are coming home from the war. There are many ex-soldiers in need of a job and there will be many more once Napoleon is deposed. There are not nearly enough jobs to accommodate the numbers that will be thrown on the economy. I foresee hard times for many good men and their families.”
Silence fell on the coach until they drew up at the front door of Reeve House. All the windows were lit and a footman was there to assist the occupants out of the carriage.
Alex followed the ladies into the front hall where their wraps and coats were taken by another footman. Then they were escorted upstairs to the large formal drawing room where a group of people had already gathered.
A woman dressed in a green evening gown and a man wearing the same formal clothes as Alex—a black tail coat, buff pantaloons, silk stockings and black pumps—came to greet them. “Amelia, my dear. How lovely to see you,” Lady Alston said. “And Louisa, too. And your girls.”
The ladies responded appropriately, then Lady Standish said to Lord and Lady Alston, “And here is Alex, newly returned from the Peninsula.”
“We have prayed for your safety,” Lady Alston said, taking Alex’s hand and holding it tightly.
“Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate that,” Alex said.
Lord Alston took Alex’s hand from his wife and shook it hard. “Good to see you, my boy,” he said. “Your father was very proud of you.”
“Thank you, sir,” Alex said. “I am only sorry that I didn’t have a chance to see him before he died.”
“He understood. He followed the campaign closely, you know. We both did. And he appreciated your letters.”
“Well, come along in, and meet our other guests,” Lady Alston said gaily. “It is something to celebrate, having you home again.”
Alex knew most of the people at the party. He was particularly pleased to see his friend Ned Nable there and the two young men went into a corner to talk. Their sober expressions were in contrast to the gaiety of the rest of the room.
Alex came back to awareness of the party when he heard the piano. For the first time he noticed that the rug had been rolled back. Evidently there was going to be dancing.
It was immediately obvious to Alex that every man in the room wanted to dance with Diana. The doctor moved the fastest and the two of them held hands to join in the circle for a Scottish reel.
“Dance with Lizzie, would you?” Ned said. “The poor girl doesn’t get many dances with an amputee for a fiancé.”
“I would be delighted to dance with Lizzie,” Alex said, and took the hand of Ned’s future wife.
In the course of the dance he managed to touch hands with Diana once or twice, which was as close as he got to her for most of the evening. He danced with his mother, with his hostess, even with Sally, but every time he tried to approach Diana she was giving her hand to another man.
He finally grabbed her when she was coming out of the ladies’ retiring room. “It will look strange if you don’t dance with me,” he said. “Everyone here knows we used to be good friends. Do you want to start gossip?”
She glared up at him, her dark eyes stormy. Tonight she was wearing her hair high on the back of her head, with little tendrils falling down her neck. “Oh, all right,” she huffed. “Let’s get it over with.”
She marched into the drawing room and gave him her hand without looking at him. He closed his hand around hers, feeling the long elegant fingers that were so gentle on the mouth of a horse. He held her hand more tightly than was necessary and she shot him a look but didn’t say anything. The music started and the circle they were part of began to move.
It was frustrating, to be so close to her yet feel that she was so far away. When the dance finished he went back to join Ned, who was sitting on a sofa with Lizzie.
“Don’t tell me you’re tired?” Lizzie teased.
He smiled at her. “No. I’m just resting after the triumph of finally having won a dance with Miss Sherwood.”
“She’s had a proposal from every unattached man in this room,” Lizzie said cheerfully. “But I hear she’s going to London. She’ll probably make a much better match there.”
She’s refused all of these men, Alex thought. Surely that’s a good sign.
His eyes rested on his sister. He didn’t have to ask whether or not Sally had received any offers. There was no chance in the world that an earl’s daughter would marry the country doctor.
The music had stopped and servants were coming in with a tea tray. Alex went to get his cup and looked forward to the ride home, when he would be sitting close beside Diana.
Four
Despite feeling tired when she got into bed after the party, Diana couldn’t fall asleep. Her mind was on Alex and, as she lay there on her back, her arm across her forehead, her mind drifted back to the day that they first had met.
She was seven years old when she came to live in the cottage on the grounds of Standish Court. She had come in June and Alex had been home from Eton. She remembered the confusion of the move, the anguished realization that her father was going far away and the pain of separation from the pony she had been riding at their last house. He had belonged to the local squire, who had allowed Diana to ride him as his son had outgrown him.
She had been immensely intimidated by the move. What was going to happen to her in such a place? At her old home she had had her father, her dog, her mother and her pony. Here, at Standish, there was only Mama, as her dog had died a few months previously. And Mama kept telling her how nice she must be to Lord and Lady Standish for letting them stay in this cottage.
It was a nice cottage, much larger and airier than their last house, but just down the road was the immenseness of Standish Court, where lived this aristocratic family to whom she had to be so grateful.
She remembered the first afternoon they were invited to take tea at Standish. Mama had dressed her in her best dress and they had waited for the trap that the countess was sending to pick them up. They were driven to the palace—for that is what it looked like to Diana—and taken through fabulous rooms hung with mirrors and paintings and decorated with classical statues, to a large sitting room where Lady Standish waited for them, with her five-year-old daughter at her side.
Diana had watched as Mama and Lady Standish exchanged hugs and kisses. Then Lady Standish had bent to her. “And this is Diana,” she said. “What a pretty girl you are. I am your mother’s cousin, Amelia. Would you like to give me a kiss?”
Obediently, Diana kissed the soft cheek of her mother’s cousin.
“And this is your cousin, Sally.”
Sally was a blue-eyed, blond-haired cherub. She smiled at Diana. “Hello,” she said.
“Hello,” Diana replied.
Everyone settled down. The tea tray was brought, and lemonade for Sally and Diana.
Lady Standish said apologetically, “Alex was supposed to be here. I can’t imagine what is keeping him.”
On that note, the door opened and a boy dressed in riding clothes came in. He had black hair and sky-blue eyes and he said politely to his mother, “I’m sorry I’m late, Mama. I got delayed in the stable.”
Lady Standish sighed. “You’re always in the stable, Alex. Can’t you find something else to do?”
“Nothing that I like as much,” he said.
Diana was immediately drawn to the boy. “Do you have a lot of horses in your stable?” she asked him.
He looked at her. “Yes,” he said.
How wonderful, she thought.
“If you need any help exercising them, I’d be happy to help,” she said. “I used to exercise the squire’s son’s pony when we lived at home.”
He looked her up and down. “How old are you?”
“I’m almost eight. And I can ride anything.”
The boy’s black eyebrows shot up. “I doubt that.”
“I can!” she shot back. “The squire used to say that I was the best natural rider he’d ever seen!”
“Diana,” her mother chided gently. “Don’t brag, darling. It’s not becoming.”
“It’s not bragging, it’s true,” she insisted. “He did say that, Mama. Truly he did.”
The boy’s blue eyes narrowed. “Well, we’ll see about that,” he said.
“You can ride my pony, Diana,” Sally said. “He is very sweet.”
Diana gave Sally a radiant smile. “Thank you.”
After that the two ladies talked and the children drank their lemonade and ate cake from the tea tray. Then a big man with graying black hair and ordinary blue eyes came into the room.
That must be the earl, Diana thought.
“My lord,” Lady Standish said with pleasure. “I wasn’t sure you would be able to join us.”
He smiled. “Of course I wanted to be here to greet Mrs. Sherwood and her daughter. We are very glad to have you at Standish, ma’am.”
Diana’s mother’s cheeks were flushed. “Thank you, my lord. I cannot tell you how much we appreciate your generosity.”
“Not at all,” he said. “The cottage was just lying there empty. Happy to have it used.”
Diana looked at the earl curiously. When it came her turn to be introduced, she curtseyed and smiled at the large man who was suddenly so important in her life. He smiled back and called her a very pretty little girl. People had been calling Diana a very pretty little girl ever since she could remember, so it made little impression on her. She looked from the earl to his son. Alex looked like his father, except for his extraordinary eye color.
Diana was conscious of Alex looking at her and she looked boldly back. She had every intention of pushing him to allow her to ride Sally’s pony.
When the tea was over, and the Sherwoods stood to leave, Diana went over to Alex and asked, “When can I come to ride the pony?”
He stared down at her. “Come tomorrow morning. We’ll go for a ride together so I can see how brilliant you are.” There was a definite sarcastic note in his voice.
The following morning Diana rose early and dressed in her riding habit, which consisted of a brown divided skirt and an old brown jacket. She fastened her hair at the nape of her neck and set off for Standish on foot. It was only a little under two miles and she walked it in good time. When she reached the stable yard Alex was just coming in riding a solid-looking chestnut gelding. Diana’s face fell.
“I thought you said we would go riding together today!” she accused him.
“How did you get here?” he asked.
“I walked.”
He looked at her feet. “In your boots?”
“Yes.”
He looked her up and down, taking in her divided skirt. “Do you ride astride?”
“Yes. The squire’s groom who taught me said it would be safer for me to learn that way.”
“All right,” he said briskly. “We’ll give you a chance.” He turned to one of the grooms. “Danny, bring out Lady Sarah’s pony. And don’t put a sidesaddle on him.”
Diana could feel her heart begin to beat harder. She had to impress this boy so he would allow her to ride his horses. Her heart fell when a very small, thick-bodied pony was led out of the stable. “He’s so little,” she said involuntarily.
“Sally is little,” Alex said.
Diana bit her lip and didn’t say anything else. She didn’t think it was going to be much fun riding Sally’s pony.
“His name is Moses,” Alex said. “Come along over to the riding ring so I can judge your riding style.”
Diana followed him beyond the stable to an enclosed ring with a smooth dirt surface. Alex opened the gate and led the pony in. Diana followed.
“Do you need help getting into the saddle?” he asked.
She cast him a scornful look. “No.” She put her foot in the stirrup and swung up. There wasn’t very far to go. The squire’s pony had been a full hand taller than Moses.
“Just ride him around the rail and let me see how you do,” Alex said. She cast him a disgusted look. How was she supposed to show her riding skills on a pony that was much too small for her?
She put the pony on the rail and closed her legs to send him forward. He ambled off. Diana frowned and pressed her legs harder. He went from an amble into a walk. They went around the enclosure once and Diana said to Alex, “I need a whip.”
He got her one. She squeezed her legs again and applied the whip smartly behind her leg. The pony broke into a trot. She pushed him some more. After two more rounds she had him trotting forward. In another round she had him going before her leg.
“Stop!” Alex called.
Obediently, she halted, then walked over to where he was standing outside the fence. He was grinning. “I’ve never seen that pony move so fast.”
“He certainly doesn’t want to move,” Diana returned. “The squire’s pony was a speed demon compared with this one.”
“Sally likes him. He’s a good beginner pony. He will just follow along when we go out on the trails and she never has to worry about him doing something stupid.”
“Doing something stupid would take too much energy,” Diana said scornfully.
“You’re a good rider,” Alex said. “But you’re too small to ride our horses. You’d be like a fly on top of them. You have no body or legs to hold them.”
Diana’s heart sank. She wasn’t going to be able to ride. She looked at him, her eyes tragic.
“There’s my old pony,” he offered. “I talked Papa into keeping him for Sally to grow into, but he’s been doing nothing ever since I got my new horse. He might be a bit of a handful.”
Her eyes sparkled. “I won’t mind that. I’ll straighten him out.”
“Let me ride him for a few days, to get the kinks out of him. Then we’ll try you on him.”
“What’s his name?” Diana asked eagerly.
“Jonathan. He’s a grand pony. I was sorry when I outgrew him.”
Diana smiled. “Thank you, Alex. If I couldn’t ride I think I would just wither away and die.”
He looked back at her. “It means that much to you?”
“Yes.”
He smiled. “You’re a great girl, Diana. I think we’re going to get along just fine.”
Diana flung her arm off her forehead and rolled over on her side. What was the point of going over old times? The past was the past. It was true that she and Alex had become companions, riding out together every morning. He had friends in the neighborhood, but he didn’t despise her company when he had nothing else to do.
She had adored him. He was two years older than she, and a boy. She’d looked up to him and admired him and felt honored whenever he sought out her company. Sally, at five, was too young for her. She’d dreaded the day when he would be going back to school.
I fell in love with him when I was seven years old, she thought now as she lay restless in her bed. It wasn’t fair. He was the only friend I had. I didn’t have a chance.
Well my eyes are opened now. I might have loved him, but he didn’t love me. Not really. If he had truly loved me he never would have left me to go into the army.
She curled up into a ball and finally she fell asleep.
The next two weeks were busy as Lady Standish made ready to move her household to London. True to his word, Alex retired William, who was not at all adverse to the idea of being the master of his own time in a snug little cottage close to a good fishing stream, and Alex found a younger replacement, an ex-soldier who had been wounded and retired from the Peninsula army. Thomas lacked the smooth, finished manners of their old coachman, but he was an excellent driver.
The butler, Henrys, would be coming with them to London, as would the cook, Lady Standish’s personal maid, the young maid who helped to look after Sally, and Alex’s valet, who had come back from the Peninsula with him. As Alex was bringing three riding horses as well as the carriage horses, several grooms would be accompanying them as well. Margaret and Maria were staying at home with their governess, Lady Standish not wanting the children underfoot while she was so preoccupied.
The Sherwoods had far fewer encumbrances than did the Devizes. In fact, they had only one trunk that was filled with all their clothes.
On the morning that they started out for London, there were five carriages—two for the family plus three hired vehicles to carry the servants and the luggage. Alex drove his father’s phaeton, an open, high-wheeled carriage with room for two or three people on the front seat. He had asked Diana if she would like to ride with him, but she had told him to take Sally.
“She gets sick if she travels for too long inside a carriage. She will do better in the phaeton,” she said. “I, on the other hand, prefer to ride in the comfort of the carriage.”
He had acquiesced and so had the chance to spend several hours in the sole company of his sister. She had written to him faithfully during the three years that he was in the Peninsula and had been his chief source of information about Diana. He thought he would use this chance to pump her for as much information as he could get about her best friend.
“Is Mama footing the bill for Dee’s come-out?” he asked bluntly after they had finished driving through the village.
“Of course,” Sally said. “There is no way Cousin Louisa could afford such a thing herself. Papa wouldn’t have done it. He liked Diana, but he felt he was doing enough by housing her and her mother. But Mama and Cousin Louisa are very close—and have become even closer since Papa died.”
“So it was Mama’s idea to bring Diana out with you.”
“Actually it was my idea,” Sally said. She tied her bonnet a little more tightly against the wind. “It will be much more fun for me if Diana is with me—she has a way of making the world around her seem brighter, more exciting. And she’s not a bit shy—like I am.”
“It was nice of you, Sal,” he said soberly. “Not every girl would want to be compared to Diana.” He turned his head and smiled at her. “But you have turned into a very beautiful girl, yourself.”
Sally blushed. “Thank you, Alex. My only real worry is that Mama said that Diana’s lack of money would limit the number of men who would ask for her.”
Alex felt a little relieved by this assessment. The fewer rivals he had, the better.
Sally shook her head. “I don’t agree with Mama, though. I think Diana has a very good chance of catching a rich man who won’t need her money. She is so very beautiful, you know. And besides that, she’s fun.”
Alex frowned.
“You used to be such good friends,” Sally continued. “Then you went off to war and she hardly mentioned your name the whole time you were gone. And now that you’re home, you still don’t talk.”
“She was angry with me for joining the army,” Alex said stiffly. He was staring straight ahead, over his horses’ backs. “I hardly think I should be punished for serving my country.”
“I think it’s because of her father,” Sally mused. “She never forgave him for going away and leaving her and her mother. Life hasn’t been easy for them, Alex. If it wasn’t for Mama, I don’t know what would have become of them.”
“He was a soldier,” Alex said. “He had to follow orders.”
“Yes. That’s precisely why Diana doesn’t like soldiers.” She put a brief hand on his knee. “Give her time, Alex. She’ll get over her anger once she gets used to having you around again.”
“Hmmph,” Alex said.
“I have to confess that I’m a little nervous about this come-out business,” Sally said.
They were crossing over a wooden bridge and the horses’ hooves thudded hollowly on the boards. “Why?” he said with surprise. “You’ll be one of the belles of the season, Sal. You’re so pretty and you’re the daughter—well, I suppose you’re now the sister—of the Earl of Standish. The Devizes are one of the best families in the country. Men will be lining up to marry you.”
“But what if I don’t love anybody, Alex? I don’t want to get married just for the sake of getting married. I want to marry a man I love!”
He tapped one of the horses lightly on the flank to encourage him to move up. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” he said. “No one will try to push you into a marriage you don’t like, Sal. If you don’t meet anybody this season, then you can come back next year and try again.”
She gave him a smile of relief. “I’m glad to hear you say that,” she said. “Mama sounds so determined to push me off…”
“All mothers want brilliant matches for their daughters. But if you want to hold out for love, you do that, Sal.”
She straightened her shoulders. “I will,” she said.
Five
Diana had never been to London, and she stared out the window as the carriage rolled along the busy streets of the nation’s capital. There was so much traffic! And noise! And dirt! She was used to her quiet little corner of Berkshire; London was a big change.
The Devizes’ London residence was a solid, substantial house made of brown brick and red dressing, like many of the other houses on the fashionable Grosvenor Square. The family and servants piled out of the coaches and phaeton and Diana stretched her legs and her back as she stood on the pavement outside the front door of the house. She was not accustomed to sitting still for such a long period of time and she felt like taking a nice brisk walk to loosen up her muscles. But the rest of the family was already moving toward the front door, and she followed.
Alex, Lady Standish, Sally, Mrs. Sherwood and Diana all trooped into the green marble entrance hall. The housekeeper came running to welcome Lady Standish and while the two women were talking, Diana peered into a small anteroom set off by round columns that opened off the right side of the entrance hall. The floor of the anteroom was done in black and white squares of marble and there was a portrait of a man in a white wig hung over the alabaster fireplace.
Henrys now came in the front door and Lady Standish presented the butler to Mrs. Daughtry, the housekeeper, as if she was presenting royalty. Henrys was followed by the cook, Monsieur Lapierre, who was presented as if he were God.
Mrs. Daughtry volunteered to show Henrys and Lapierre to their respective domains but Lady Standish said that the family would establish themselves without assistance.
“Let us all go to our bedrooms first,” Lady Standish said. “I think we need to freshen up.”
“Good idea, Mama,” Alex said, and Diana found herself following everyone down the passage to the great curving staircase. The staircase was painted white, with a polished wood railing, and in the roof above the third story was a large window, which allowed for natural illumination during the day.
The bedrooms were on the third floor, except for the master bedroom suite. When they had reached the second floor, Lady Standish said, “Alex, you should have the earl’s bedroom now.”
He looked a little uncomfortable. “It is not necessary for you to vacate it, Mama,” he said. “I don’t want to push you out of your room.”
“No, I want you to have it,” she insisted. “It is the right thing to do and I shall be perfectly happy in the yellow bedroom. It has a dressing room attached and is exceedingly comfortable.”
He stood for a moment looking at her and frowning.
“I mean it,” Lady Standish said firmly. “You must take your proper place both in the family and in society. The master bedroom is yours.”
“Well…” Alex said slowly. “If you are sure.”
“I am very sure.”
Alex nodded and went off through the second-floor drawing room while the rest of them climbed the stairs to the third floor. Lady Standish opened the first door that was on their left and said to Diana, “This will be your room, dear. Servants will be coming shortly with water for you to wash up.”
“Thank you, Cousin Amelia,” Diana said, and walked into the largest bedroom she had ever occupied. It had blue-painted walls, a white stucco fireplace and a blue Turkish rug on the floor. The bed was large and hung with blue draperies, and a comfortable-looking upholstered chair was pulled up in front of the fireplace. There were two windows set high in the walls so they could let light in over the top of the building next door.
Diana thought of her closet-size bedroom at home. My goodness, but she had come up in the world!
She was still staring around her when a knock came at the door and her mother came in. “I am right next door,” she said. “Aren’t these beautiful rooms?”
“They’re wonderful,” Diana said. “This one even has its own watercloset!”
“So does mine,” Mrs. Sherwood said with a smile.
Diana sat on the bed. “This almost seems too good to be true. Cousin Amelia is like a fairy godmother, doing this for me.”
Mrs. Sherwood went over to look at a pretty china statue of a shepherdess that reposed on a table along the wall. “It is amazingly generous of her,” she agreed. “But then she has always been so good to us.”
“She’s never spent so much money on us before.” Diana looked at her mother, who was still examining the delicate figurine. “It’s really Alex’s money she’s using, isn’t it?” she said abruptly. “If the earl was alive, she wouldn’t be doing this.”
Mrs. Sherwood turned to face her daughter. “I don’t know where the money is coming from, my love. But if it is Alex’s, he certainly has put forward no objections.”
Diana’s jaw set. “I hate to be beholden to Alex.”
Mrs. Sherwood’s pretty face became suddenly somber. “Perhaps he thinks he owes you something, darling,” she said. “And perhaps he does.”
Diana’s eyes flashed and color stained the porcelain skin over her cheekbones. “If I was starving, I wouldn’t take a scrap of bread from Alex,” she declared.
Mrs. Sherwood came over to sit next to her daughter on the bed. “Don’t be foolish, darling. This come-out is a godsend for you. Particularly since you turned down all the nice men who offered for you at home.”
Diana scowled. “I didn’t love any of them, Mama.”
“Diana…” Mrs. Sherwood put her hand up and turned her daughter’s face toward her. “I hope you are not still setting your heart on Alex.”
Diana pulled her face away and jumped up from the bed. She whirled to face her mother. “Didn’t you just hear me, Mama? I wouldn’t take Alex if he were the last man left alive on this earth. Believe me, I have no desire to become the Countess of Standish.”
“I am glad to hear that,” Mrs. Sherwood said quietly. “But if he is financing our trip to London, then it behooves us both to be nice to him. I want you to make a good marriage, darling. I don’t want you to have to spend your life hanging on the sleeve of a generous relative. I want to see you with your husband and children at your side. I don’t want you to be alone in life. I want you to be happy.”
“Oh Mama.” Diana came back to the bed and hugged her mother, pressing her cheek against her mother’s hair. “You have had so little in your life. Papa left us when I was so young—why you have practically been a widow for all your life.”
Mrs. Sherwood’s arms came up to hold Diana. “He had no choice, darling. He had to go where he could get advancement. We had no money beyond his officer’s salary.”
The two women stayed like that for a few moments, and then Diana stepped back. Diana said, “And now we have no money beyond his pension.”
Mrs. Sherwood looked up at her daughter. “You have been given a wonderful opportunity to make a good match, darling. Don’t alienate Alex and throw it away. Please.”
Diana drew a deep breath. “All right, Mama. I promise I will be nice to Alex.”
“Thank you, dear.”
Diana sat on the bed, staring into space long after her mother had left the room.
It had been late in the afternoon when the Standish party arrived, and after dinner everyone stayed at home except Alex. “Papa was a member of Brooks, and I thought I’d have a look in and see what I have to do to establish my credentials,” he said. Brooks was the club most often patronized by the aristocrats of the Whig party, and the Standishes had always been Whigs.
Lady Standish frowned. “A great deal of gambling goes on at Brooks,” she warned her son. “Several men have lost their entire fortunes at play there.”
He smiled at her. “Don’t worry, Mama. I am not stupid enough to do that.”
“I know you aren’t, Alex. But be careful, please.”
Alex knew that his grandfather had almost beggared his family with gambling and consequently Lady Standish had a deep-rooted fear of gaming of any kind.
“I’ll be careful,” he promised. “And my presence will spread the word that you ladies are in town. You want invitations, don’t you?”
Lady Standish agreed that they did, and Alex went off.
Diana was so excited to be in London that she didn’t expect to sleep well, but she went right off. When she woke the sun was shining in her window. A young maid came in with a cup of hot chocolate for her to drink while she was getting dressed.
“Thank you,” Diana said. The girl reminded her of a kitten, her brow was wide and her face tapered to a small, pointed chin. “What is your name?”
“Nancy, miss,” the young girl replied.
“It is nice to meet you, Nancy,” Diana said. “Are you one of the new hires?”
“Yes, miss. I’m just come to Lunnon from Derbyshire.”
“This must be a big change for you. I know it’s a big change for me to come from the country to the city.”
“That it is, miss,” the girl agreed.
“Well, I wish you good fortune in your new life,” Diana said.
“Thank you, miss.” The maid gave a big smile, which showed pretty white teeth.
She left and Diana got on with the business of dressing for the day.
The Standish women spent the entire day shopping. Diana had a wonderful time. She was fitted for morning dresses, driving dresses, a riding habit and evening gowns. Lady Standish ordered her a new pelisse, as the weather was still chilly in April. Sally got a similar wardrobe, and they both picked out dresses to be altered by the afternoon, so they could go driving in the park.
Diana had a moment of unease when she realized the amount of Alex’s money that Lady Standish had just spent on her, but she pushed the thought aside firmly. I am going to have fun, she told herself. I’m not going to spoil things for myself by worrying about Alex’s money. So when the time came to dress for their ride in the park, her spirits were high and her thoughts were eager.
Hyde Park was the place to be at about five o’clock in the afternoon during the Season. Most of the ton regularly turned out in their best riding and driving gear and took the path along the Serpentine to see and to be seen. Alex had volunteered to drive Diana and Sally and they both proudly wore the dresses they had purchased that morning. Diana’s was rust-colored, with a short cape and buttons all down the front. Over her coppery curls she wore a small brown hat, which tilted to one side, almost over her eye and on her feet she wore low leather boots. When her cousin knocked at her door to see if she was ready, Sally was a vision in blue, with a matching bonnet tied under her chin.
The girls complimented each other and together went downstairs to meet Alex. He was wearing a caped driving coat that made his shoulders look very wide. Diana noticed that his hair had been cut. His neck looked tanned and strong.
He glanced from his sister to Diana and said, “You ladies look beautiful.”
He was speaking to them both, but looking at her. Diana said a little self-consciously, “It must be our new clothes.”
“They are very becoming,” he said.
For the briefest of moments their eyes met and held, then Diana looked away. “Is the carriage ready?” she asked.
“Yes, it is right outside,” Alex responded and they all turned toward the front door. The park was filled with fashionable carriages and well-turned-out men and women on horseback. The horses were sleek and shiny and all of the carriages sparkled with cleanliness. Everyone was dressed in the height of elegance: the men wore immaculate buff breeches and polished riding boots with black or brown riding or driving coats; the women’s outfits were more varied: from curricle dresses and pelisses, to the kind of full-skirted riding habits that Lady Standish had ordered for Diana and Sally earlier that day.
It was an incomparably rich-looking scene, very different from the one in Berkshire that Diana was accustomed to. Certainly none of her suitors from home could match the immaculate and fashionable gentlemen who were gathered in the park today.
She glanced at Alex out of the corner of her eye. He was the handsomest man she had seen so far.
He fits in here, she thought. And so does Sally. But me? I’m not in the same class with these people.
A feeling of unease swept through her as she looked at the brilliant scene around her. Had she done the right thing in coming to London? At home everyone knew her situation and was comfortable with it. But what would all of these elegant people think if they knew that her bedroom was the size of a closet and that if it wasn’t for the generosity of her mother’s cousin they probably wouldn’t have meat on their table more than once a week.
She was a little more silent than usual as they drove along the path, letting Sally and Alex do most of the talking. A curricle pulled up next to them and saluted Alex. He stopped.
“See you are taking the ladies for a spin, eh Standish?” the fashionable gentleman driving the curricle said.
“Yes, I am,” Alex replied courteously. “Lord and Lady Sudbury, allow me to introduce my sister, Lady Sarah, and my cousin, Miss Diana Sherwood.”
“So lovely to meet you,” the lady said in nasal, aristocratic tones. “We knew your father well,” she said to Sally. “How is your dear mother doing?”
“She is well,” Sally said. “She is back at Standish House now, resting.”
The lady’s small, curious eyes turned to Diana. “I do not believe I know the Sherwoods,” she said.
Alex answered before Diana could speak, “Mrs. Sherwood is my mother’s first cousin, and the two of them are as close as sisters, as are Sally and Diana. We all grew up together at Standish Court, you know.”
“How cozy.” Lady Sudbury’s gaze raked Diana from her head to her feet. “Is this your first visit to London, Miss Sherwood?”
“Yes,” Diana replied in a composed voice.
“Diana and I are here to make our come-outs,” Sally said pleasantly. “Mama is planning to hold a big ball in a few weeks. I’m sure you will be getting invitations.”
“How lovely.” Lady Sudbury’s eyes returned to Diana. “And I suppose I shall see you girls at Almack’s?”
“I certainly hope so,” Sally said brightly.
Lord Sudbury spoke for the first time, “Let’s get going Clarissa. I don’t like to keep the horses standing for long.”
“Of course.” Lady Sudbury shared a restrained smile among the three of them. “Au revoir,” she said.
There was a little silence as they once more drove along the crowded pathway. Diana had gotten a distinct impression that her cousins had been trying to protect her, and it made her uneasy. Alex had definitely implied that she lived at Standish Court. All of her worry about not being accepted came rushing back.
“I didn’t particularly care for Lady Sudbury,” Sally, who was usually so kind to everyone, said.
“He’s something in the government, I believe,” Alex said.
“She seemed—cold, somehow.”
“This isn’t the country, Sal,” Alex said. “You and Dee are going to have to get accustomed to the fact that not everyone in London is warm and friendly, the way they are at home. People here are always jockeying for position in society. For example, perhaps Mama was not planning to invite the Sudburys to her ball. Now you have forced her into it.”
Sally protested. “She made it sound as if she and Mama and Papa were great friends.”
Alex deftly steered them past another carriage. “Perhaps they were, perhaps they weren’t,” he said.
“How do you know so much about London society?” Diana suddenly demanded.
He gave her a quick look. “I may never have been to London for the Season, but remember I went to Eton with the sons of all these people—and I served on Wellington’s staff with a number of others. I know how they tick.”
His words made Diana even more nervous. If position was what was important to these high-fashion people, then what kind of a reception was she going to get? She knew she was attractive enough, and she knew that her beauty had been responsible for all of the marriage offers she had received at home. But would beauty be enough in a society like this one?
She said as much to her mother that evening, when she went into her bedroom to say good-night.
“Perhaps this venture was a mistake, Mama,” she said. “Perhaps we should have stayed at home. What if no one asks me to dance at any of these balls? I shall be humiliated.”
“That won’t happen,” Mrs. Sherwood said definitely. “When the young men get a look at you, you will have partners. Don’t worry about that, my love.”
“Well…perhaps I will have partners, but will anyone want to marry me? I am only an army officer’s daughter. I have no money, no status…”
“Stop worrying, Diana,” her mother chided. “You are a very beautiful young woman. You will find a husband, I’m certain of it.” She kissed Diana’s cheek. “Now get some sleep. I will see you in the morning.”
Diana gave her mother a shadowy smile and went on back to her own room. She wasn’t sure she was going to like London at all.
Six
The following morning Lady Standish took Sally, Diana and Mrs. Sherwood to visit Lady Jersey, an old friend from childhood with whom she had maintained a correspondence over the years. Lady Jersey was one of the patronesses of Almack’s—the assembly rooms where young ladies went in search of husbands. Not to be admitted to Almack’s was a social blot that was almost insurmountable.
Diana was very nervous about the visit. There was no doubt that Sally would be admitted to Almack’s, but she was not so sure about herself.
Diana had grown up in a small society where she had liked everybody and everybody had liked her. She had had an intense relationship with Alex when she was very young and after he had left she had never paid very close attention to any of the other men who would have liked to marry her. She was still consumed with Alex—only this time her emotion was anger, not love.
Now she was in London, a world where for the first time she sensed the vulnerability of her social status. No one at home had minded that she and her mother had little money. They were part of the Standish family, and that was enough. She had blithely thought that things would be the same in London, but their short drive in the park yesterday had left her in doubt.
So it was with some trepidation that she followed Lady Standish and Sally into the drawing room of Lady Jersey, one of the most influential women in all of London society.
Diana was dressed correctly, in a pretty green muslin dress, with a square-cut neck and empire waistline. Sally was dressed in similar fashion, although her dress was blue. Diana knew she looked all right, she just didn’t feel that way.
Lady Jersey rose to greet Lady Standish and the two women embraced. After they had exchanged a few words, Lady Standish presented Mrs. Sherwood and the two girls.
“My word,” Lady Jersey said, “you have two beauties here, Amelia.”
Lady Standish smiled. “Thank you, Sally,” she said.
“Please, be seated,” Lady Jersey said, gesturing them all to the chairs that were gathered around the marble fireplace in a room that was decorated in the Chinese style.
It was a morning Diana never forgot. In a politely ruthless manner, Lady Jersey ascertained that Mrs. Sherwood was the widow of a mere colonel who had been killed in the Peninsula and that she had no money. She also ascertained that Lady Standish was determined to give Diana a Season along with Sally.
“The two girls are like sisters. Sally wants to have Diana as her companion,” Lady Standish said.
“Does Diana have a dowry at all?” Lady Jersey asked.
Mrs. Sherwood answered, “Unfortunately, no.”
“Hmm.” Lady Jersey frowned.
“Perhaps Alex would give some money for a dowry….” Lady Standish said tentatively.
“I don’t want anything from Alex,” Diana returned quickly. “If I cannot be accepted as myself, then I will just go home.”
Lady Jersey looked at her. “You are an extremely beautiful girl, Miss Sherwood. But I am certain that you know that.”
Diana didn’t reply.
“Please give her a voucher,” Lady Standish said. “Diana is gently if not nobly born. She certainly will not disgrace you, Sally.”
There was a pause, then Lady Jersey shrugged. “Well, why not? I cannot guarantee that you will get an offer of marriage, Miss Sherwood, but one never knows. Men have been known to make fools of themselves over a pretty face before. And being brought up at Standish Court is certainly a recommendation.”
Diana had not exactly been brought up at Standish Court, but no one corrected her.
“So you will give the Sherwoods vouchers to Almack’s, Sally?” Lady Standish asked.
“I could hardly refuse you, Amelia, now could I? We have been friends for too long. Yes, I will give the Sherwoods vouchers for Almack’s.”
Lady Standish was jubilant as they got into the coach outside Lady Jersey’s house. “You probably don’t appreciate how important this is, Diana, but it is tremendously important. Once you have been given the approval of the patronesses of Almack’s, then all of society is open to you.”
“It will be such fun, Diana,” Sally enthused.
“Yes,” Diana said. “I’m sure it will be.” But she wasn’t sure at all anymore.
The ladies stopped at Hookam’s Library to pick up some books to read before they returned to Grosvenor Square. Diana immediately went up to her room, looked around for her dog and remembered that he had been left at home. She went to the chair by the fireplace, sat down and cried.
“Oh, Freddie, how could I have left you at home? I miss you so much.” Diana’s spaniel had been the runt of the litter, and the earl had given him to her when nobody else wanted him.
But everyone had told her that he would be better in the country, that there was no place for him to run free in London, that she would be too busy to even miss him.
But she did miss him. She needed him now, needed his unconditional, adoring love. “No one will ever love me like you do, Freddie,” she sniffled into her handkerchief.
I wish we were all young again. I wish it was like it was before Alex left to go into the army. I was so happy then. Will I ever be happy like that again?
It seemed to her that she had never truly been happy since Alex had left; but now that he was back, she felt even worse, knowing that she could never be that way with him again.
I have to put Alex behind me, she thought. I have to look ahead. Surely there is some man who can make me happy, who will be able to give me the stable home that I need so badly.
A knock came upon her door. “Diana?” Sally’s voice called. “May I come in?”
“Just a moment,” Diana said, as she scrubbed at the tears on her face. She took a deep breath before she bade her friend to enter her room.
At dinner that evening, Alex said, “Would you like to take the horses for a gallop in the park tomorrow morning, Dee?”
Her whole face lit up. “I should love to.”
“What horse will you be riding?” Mrs. Sherwood asked a little nervously.
“Monty,” Diana said.
Mrs. Sherwood looked at Alex. “Has Monty ever been out of the country? You have to walk through the streets of London before you get to the park.”
“I’ll look after Dee, Cousin Louisa,” Alex said.
“How about Bart?” Diana asked. “Is he accustomed to traffic?”
“Bart’s accustomed to bullets firing all around him,” Alex returned. “I think he can handle the London streets.”
Mrs. Sherwood looked worried, but she didn’t say anything else.
It was seven in the morning when Diana, dressed in her old riding habit, went out to the stables to meet Alex. He was wearing a russet-colored riding coat and brown leather breeches—country clothes. The air was cool, with a slight wind blowing. Their two horses were standing on the cobblestones of the stable yard, all saddled and ready to go.
Diana felt as if a weight had lifted from her chest. She was going to ride again. Everything always looked better to her from the back of a horse. She actually grinned at Alex. “I hope you know how to get to the park, because I certainly don’t.”
“I drove you there the other day, remember?”
“Oh, that’s right. Well, shall we get started?”
“I’ll give you a leg up,” he said, cupping his hands so she could put her foot into his gloved brace. In a moment she was in the sidesaddle, crooking her leg around the horn and gathering the reins into her competent hands.
It was a short walk from Grosvenor Square to the Cumberland Gate entrance to Hyde Park, but London was amazingly busy for such an early hour.
Wagons piled high with fruits and vegetables lumbered through town on their way to the Covent Garden market; fishmongers carried their purchases from the wharves to their various shops; and haunches of freshly slaughtered animals bled through the bottoms of wicker baskets as they were driven by cart to the butcher shops. The large number of people who lived in London had to be fed, and this was the hour at which their food was moved.
Monty sidled a little at all the traffic and threw his head about, but Diana spoke soothingly to him. He had been on the roads at home, of course, but not very frequently. Mostly Diana had ridden him through the many wide and well-kept rides that cut through Standish Park.
As they crossed the main street to get into the park, a particularly noisy wagon came along and Monty bucked in protest.
“Are you all right?” Alex asked as Diana urged Monty forward, away from the noise.
“We’re fine,” she answered calmly. “He’s just a bit worried by these new surroundings.”
They entered into the welcome greenness of the park and when they reached the path along the lake, Diana was delighted to see that it was empty.
“Marvelous,” she said. “No one’s here.”
“How about a good gallop to wake them up?” Alex asked.
She was gone before he finished his question.
He caught her up in a moment, and the two horses thundered along, side-by-side, under the greening oaks. To Diana, it felt glorious. The feel of Monty under her was so familiar, and it was familiar, too, to look out of the side of her eye and see Alex galloping beside her. They had always ridden out early; both of them liked the fresh morning air.
When Diana felt Monty start to slow, she sat back a little and let him come down to a canter. Alex did the same. From the canter they dropped to a trot, then to a walk. They looked at each other and smiled.
“That felt grand,” Diana said.
He nodded. “It’s been a long time since we rode together, Dee.”
Some of her good mood vanished. Whose fault was that? she thought.
Alex patted the neck of his big black horse. “Damn, but I love this horse,” he said.
Diana regarded Bart. “He’s splendid,” she agreed. “I imagine a cavalryman becomes very attached to his horse.”
“They can be the difference between life and death to a man sometimes.” His black hair had tumbled forward over his forehead and his light blue eyes were serious.
He looked the same as when he left, yet he also looked different. He was bigger now; his shoulders were wider, his chest broader and there were strong muscles under the tight-fitting riding breeches that he wore. He had gone away a boy and come back a man.
She heard herself saying, “I’m nervous about being introduced into London society.”
“You shouldn’t be,” he replied. “You’re under the wing of my mother. Everything should go very smoothly for you.”
She confided her deepest fear. “We’re going to Almack’s tonight. What if no one dances with me?”
“Don’t worry about that,” he assured her. “Haven’t men wanted to dance with you all your life?”
“But that was in the country, where people knew me.”
“Believe me, I don’t think you’ll have any problem, but if you do I’ll round up some men to dance with you. Don’t worry, you won’t be left sitting with the chaperones.”
She gave him a smile. “Thank you, Alex. It’s just…I never expected to feel so out of my depth.” Tears stung behind her eyes. “And I miss Freddie. I should never have left him home.”
“I can send for him if it’s that important to you.”
Her face lit to radiance. “Can you? Would that not be too much trouble?”
“Not at all. I’ll send the curricle for him. We’ll have him here in London for you in no time.”
“It won’t be too confining for him, will it? I can walk him in the park every day.”
“He’ll be fine. The horses are more cooped up than they’re accustomed to as well. That’s why it’s good for us to get them out in the morning for a gallop.”
She nodded.
His voice deepened. “For how many years have the two of us ridden together in the morning, Dee?”
“Ever since we were children.” Her voice hardened. “Until you went away.”
They were walking side-by-side on a loose rein, the horses’ heads swinging comfortably as they went along. A slight breeze ruffled the hair on Alex’s forehead. “I had to go, Dee,” he said earnestly. “I know you don’t understand, and I know I can’t really expect you to forgive me, but it was just something in me that I couldn’t deny. I needed to go. I had wanted to be a soldier for all of my life, and then my father finally agreed…I just couldn’t pass up the chance.”
“Yes,” she said tightly. “You made your choice, Alex. I understood that very well.”
“I didn’t mean to leave you forever. I told you I would come back when the war was over. I told you I would marry you.”
She stared straight ahead, between Monty’s small, pointed ears. “You could have come back in a wooden box, like my father. What good would that have been to me?”
“I wouldn’t have been much good to you with my heart always someplace else. You knew that. That’s why you told me to go.”
She turned to look at him. “Was it as glorious as you thought it was going to be, Alex? Did you love being a soldier?”
She thought she saw a shadow pass over his face. “I wouldn’t exactly call it glorious,” he said. She could hear that he was trying to speak lightly. “It was a pretty dirty job at times. But it was a good cause, and we were successful. What happened in the Peninsula had a lot to do with Napoleon’s downfall.”
It sounded to Diana as if Alex had not been as thrilled with life as a soldier as he had expected to be. Perversely, this made her glad.
“I expect being in a battle wasn’t much fun,” she said.
“No.” His voice was clipped.
They walked in silence for a while. Then Alex turned to her. “Dee, is it really too late for us? Can’t we start over again? I know you have a right to be angry with me. But I love you. I have always loved you. I don’t want you to marry another man, I want you to marry me. Will you at least consider that?”
She returned his look, her brown eyes grave in her exquisite face. “It’s too late,” she said. “The feelings I had for you are gone.”
His mouth set in a grim line. “I don’t believe that. I can’t believe it.”
A bird flew close to Monty’s head and he sidled a little. “It’s true,” she lied. “Something in me died when you left, Alex. For a long time I was very angry with you, but now that you’re back even my anger is gone. We’re finished. That’s all there is to it. I’m sorry.”
He said, “Get off that horse and kiss me, Dee, and then tell me you have no feelings left for me.”
She raised her chin and stared ahead. “I have no intention of kissing you! You lost your rights to my kisses a long time ago.” She fought to compose herself. “We might start to trot. The horses have caught their breath.”
She started Monty going briskly forward, eager to end their conversation. After a moment, Alex followed.
Seven
Diana parted with Alex in the stable yard and went up to the house. Her mother, Lady Standish and Sally were at breakfast and she joined them. Their conversation revolved around what they would do today and about the coming evening at Almack’s. Shortly after, Alex came in. Diana ate her breakfast and never looked at him.
After breakfast, Diana went up to her room to change out of her riding clothes. She was upset about her discussion with Alex and after she took off her boots and her habit, she put on a wrapper and went to lie on the bed, staring up at the blue draperies that surrounded her.
He wanted to marry her. In so many ways, that would be the perfect solution to her future. To live at Standish Court which she loved so much…to raise her children there…
But she couldn’t marry him. She carried too much pain. Her mind shied away at the thought of that pain and what had caused it. Better not to dwell on it, she told herself. Better to try to put Alex behind me and go on with my life.
But the past intruded upon her well intentioned plan and, against her will, her mind traveled back in time to when she was fifteen years old and she and Alex had been riding their horses in the park in the early morning. They had dismounted by the lake to give the horses a chance to drink and as they stood there a deer came down to the other side of the lake. It had been summer, and the air was soft and gentle. At the sight of the lovely animal, Diana had felt something stir inside of her, and, instinctively, she had turned to Alex.
He was looking at her. “You are so beautiful, Dee,” he said. His light eyes had darkened slightly and his voice was a little unsteady. Slowly his head bent toward hers and she had lifted her face. For the first time, their lips had met.
They had kissed gently, tentatively, then Alex’s mouth had hardened and he had put his arms around her. She had leaned against him and kissed him back. When finally he raised his head, they both were breathing quickly.
“Oh, Dee,” he said shakily. “Oh, Dee.”
She didn’t know what to say. They had been friends for so many years. But this was something new.
“What does this mean?” she asked.
“I think it means we love each other,” he had returned.
She thought for a moment, and then she had nodded. “Yes,” she had said. “I think it means that, too.”
She lay now on her bed, her eyes closed, and remembered that first kiss. She would remember it for as long as she lived. She would remember the look in Alex’s eyes, she would remember how his hard, young body had felt against hers.
She shut her eyes very tightly and willed the memory to go away. It was futile to dwell on the past. Alex hadn’t really loved her—or he hadn’t loved her enough. That was what she had to remember.
I am starting a new life tonight, she thought. That is what I must concentrate on.
That evening Diana, her mother and the rest of the Standishes prepared to leave Standish House to go to the famous Almack’s Assembly Rooms on King Street. Alex was waiting at the foot of the stairs as Diana and Sally came down, and Diana thought he looked splendid in the evening dress that was demanded for entrance to the club: knee breeches, a white neck cloth and black dress coat with long tails. Diana herself wore a white gown over a sea green slip. Her glorious red-gold hair was caught behind her ears with pearl-studded combs and her jewelry was a simple pearl necklace and matching earrings.
Sally was similarly attired in her usual blue, with a diamond around her throat and diamond studs in her ears. She looked utterly sweet and lovely.
The two older women wore silk gowns, Mrs. Sherwood in a smoky gray and Lady Standish in dark gold.
They all got into the Standish coach, with the earl’s coat of arms painted on its door, and the horses began their route through the city streets. Diana didn’t know what she had been expecting but it was certainly something grander than the simple building with undistinguished brickwork that the carriage drew up before. Everyone got out and Alex escorted his mother and Mrs. Sherwood to the front door, with the girls bringing up the rear. At the door they presented their vouchers and were admitted into the inner sanctum of society’s self-described “marriage mart.”
“It looks terribly plain,” Sally whispered to Diana as they went up the stairs to the main floor. There was no architectural interest about the ballroom at all. It was just a big room with a bad floor, but it was crowded with the highest members of London society, all dressed in their finest clothes. The scent of mingling perfumes rose to Diana’s nostrils as she stood there, her chest feeling tight under her lovely gown.
Music was playing and the dance floor was filled with dancers. Alex steered his mother and Mrs. Sherwood around the edges of the floor, and Diana saw that he was heading toward Lady Jersey, who was enthroned amidst the rest of the patronesses as they kept an eagle eye on what was transpiring before them.
The patronesses shifted their gaze to the Standish party and sat silently as Lady Jersey greeted them and then turned to introduce them. Of the six other patronesses of Almack’s, only Lady Castlereagh, Lady Cowper and Mrs. Drummond Burrell were present that evening and they smiled warmly upon Alex, Lady Standish and Sally. The smiles were less warm as they greeted Mrs. Sherwood and Diana.
The music stopped and the dancers began to stream off the floor. Lady Jersey motioned to a tall, willowy young man, who obediently came to her side and was presented to them as Viscount Althorpe. Lady Jersey said, “I thought you might enjoy a dance with Lady Sarah Standish, Althorpe. She is newly come to town and doesn’t know anyone yet.”
The young man beamed and turned to Sally with alacrity. The dancers were forming up for the next dance and the two of them moved off together. Diana felt a moment of panic, but then she felt Alex taking her hand. “Come along, Dee. You’ve come here to dance, after all.”
Lady Standish and Mrs. Sherwood moved off to join the rows of chaperones and Diana went with Alex. As they walked away she heard the cool, aristocratic tones of Mrs. Drummond Burrell say to Lady Jersey, “Really, Sally, whatever possessed you to give vouchers to the Sherwoods?”
Diana stiffened.
Alex said, “Nasty old cat. Don’t pay any mind to her, Dee. You fit in here just fine.”
Diana and Alex took their places in the line and the dance started. It was a country dance, which involved the ladies being passed from partner to partner, and Diana forced herself to smile and look as if she was having a good time. At the end of the dance she and Alex were back together again, and he walked her off the floor.
A young man approached them.
“I say, Standish,” he said. “I haven’t seen you since Salamanca. Back home for good, I see?”
Alex replied and the young man, who was broadchested and broad-faced, said, “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”
Alex presented Lord Butler to Diana, who immediately asked her to dance. She accepted, thrilled that someone besides Alex wanted to dance with her. Together they went out onto the floor.
That was the way the evening went. Both Diana and Sally danced every dance.
Diana was radiant. Forgotten was the hurtful comment of Mrs. Drummond Burrell. She wasn’t going to be shunned. She could attract men in London just the way she had at home. Her London Season was going to be all right.
Alex watched Diana’s progress with mixed emotions. He certainly hadn’t wanted her to fail, but it hurt to watch her with other men. It hurt bitterly. He wanted to rush onto the floor, drag her away from her partner and claim her as his own.
No matter what she might say about never forgiving him, he wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t give up. There was too much between them—there had always been too much between them—for him to believe that she could turn her back on him so easily.
Perhaps she wouldn’t get another marriage offer. Men liked to dance with a pretty girl, but marriage to a dowerless country girl was another thing altogether. If she had nobody else to marry, perhaps she would think differently about him. If she changed her mind out of necessity, that would be all right. He would take Dee any way he could get her.
He had missed her so much. He had missed her achingly. He had known she was hurt and angry when she hadn’t answered his letters, but in his heart he had always thought that he could make everything right when he came home.
He looked at her glowing smile as she danced with her tall, handsome partner, and his stomach clenched.
The following morning a variety of bouquets were delivered to Standish House for the girls. Most were for Sally, but there were a few for Diana, as well. Along with the flowers came invitations to drive in the park. The young men who had sent the flowers all turned up at Standish House at eleven o’clock, the official hour for making morning calls, and they all sat in the downstairs drawing room making conversation, attended by Lady Standish and Mrs. Sherwood.
Diana agreed to drive out with a lively young man who was the younger son of a baron. His name was Matthew Dunster and Diana found him very entertaining. He also was mad about horses, which immediately gave them something in common to talk about.
Sally chose a more matrimonially advantageous escort, the eldest son of an earl. Lady Standish was pleased to express her approval of both girls’ plans, and arrangements were made for them to be picked up at five o’clock that afternoon.
“We have a musicale to go to after lunch,” Lady Standish announced to the girls after their suitors had left. “It’s at the Countess of Morham’s. A very popular pianist is going to be there.”
Sally was thrilled. She was a very good musician herself and she loved music. Diana was less excited. She would have preferred to spend the afternoon outdoors.
“Is Alex coming?” she heard herself ask.
“No, I believe he is going to Tattersall’s to look at horses,” Lady Standish replied.
Horses! This sounded so much better than being cooped up inside all afternoon listening to music. “I believe I’ll go with Alex,” Diana said.
“You most certainly will not,” Lady Standish returned. “Ladies do not go to Tattersall’s. You would ruin your reputation were you to do such a thing.”
Diana stuck out her lip, just the way she had done when she was a child and was thwarted from doing something she wanted to do. “That’s ridiculous,” she said. “Why can’t I go to look at horses?”
“Tattersall’s is strictly a male domain,” Lady Standish explained. “Alex will tell you the same thing. Besides, it will look good for you to be seen at the musicale with us. Lady Morham is an important figure in society.”
So Diana dragged herself off to the musicale with Lady Standish, her mother and Sally. It wasn’t that she disliked music; she enjoyed listening to Sally play in the evening. But she would so much rather have been at Tattersall’s with Alex.
The next two weeks—the weeks before Lady Standish was due to have her official come-out ball for Sally and Diana—were crammed with activities. They went to balls, routs, Venetian breakfasts, musicales and drove in Hyde Park. Alex had been true to his word and sent for Diana’s dog, Freddie, to be sent to London. Diana walked her dog in Green Park twice every day. She and Sally had exactly the same schedule, except that Sally’s escorts were all highly born and had money, while Diana’s escorts tended to be younger sons with few prospects. They were all obviously smitten by Diana, but none could possibly be serious husband material. None of them had the money to marry a penniless girl like her.
One of Sally’s suitors was the heir to the Marquess of Norton. Sally was driving with Lord Morple in the area of Pall Mall, a neighborhood which, like so many good neighborhoods in London, bordered on a slum. As Sally’s carriage passed in front of Marlborough House, she saw an old cart pulled to the side of the road, with a man and a boy standing beside it. The boy looked to be about five and was dressed in filthy rags. As Sally watched in horror, the man raised his horse whip and laid it across the boy’s back.
“Disgusting,” Sally’s escort said, looking down his nose. “These people shouldn’t be allowed in this part of town.”
“Stop!” Sally shouted, reaching for the reins. She halted the horses, and Lord Morple looked at her in astonishment as she swung herself down from the carriage.
“Here, Lady Sarah! You can’t do that! Come back here!”
Sally ignored him and ran toward the man who had once more raised his whip and it hit the boy again. “Stop that!” she commanded.
Sally had a very soft voice and the man ignored her, raising his whip yet again. “Ye wretched little cur,” he said. “I’ll have ye obey me or else.”
At that, Sally dashed in to throw her arms protectively around the child and the whip came down upon her own shoulder. She flinched but didn’t cry out. The man cursed.
“How dare you beat this child?” she said fiercely, the boy gathered safely to her breast. “What has he done to deserve such barbaric treatment?”
“It’s none o’ yer business, young miss,” the man replied. “But he’s one of my climbing boys and he refused to go up the chimney in yon house. I’m beatin’ some sense into him, that’s wot I’m doin’.”
“You wretched man,” Sally said passionately. High color stained her cheeks. “Would you send a frightened child up a chimney? What kind of monster are you?”
The boy whimpered and pressed closer to Sally.
“Don’t worry, my dear,” she said to him. “You are safe with me.”
“Here, that’s my boy,” the man said loudly, and he began to advance upon Sally, evidently with the idea of ripping the boy from her arms.
A deep, resonant voice said, “Desist, you worm. Lay one hand on the lady and I shall be forced to kill you.”
For a brief moment, Sally thought her escort had come to her rescue but then she realized that the voice was different. She looked up to see a tall, blond man dressed in a many-caped riding coat standing next to the chimney sweeper. “You cannot beat your poor unfortunate boys on the city streets,” the blond man said. “At least you can’t while there is a lady of mercy in the vicinity. I suggest you go about your business before I have you arrested for vicious conduct.”
“That boy’s mine,” the man said indignantly. “You can’t just take him from me! He’s worth money!”
“Slavery is outlawed in England,” Sally said. “If this boy chooses to leave you of his own free will, there is nothing you can do about it.” She looked down at the filthy head that was pressed against her breast. “Do you wish to leave this man, my dear?”
“Yes,” came the breathless reply.
“Then I think you have had your answer,” the tall stranger said. “Take yourself off before I am tempted to knock you down for attacking helpless children.”
His voice was cool and utterly authoritative. After a moment, the chimney man got back into his wagon and started up his poor, skinny horse.
Sally looked up at the man who had come to her rescue. Her escort was still sitting in his phaeton, staring at her. “Thank you, sir,” she said. “You came just in time.”
For the first time she noticed that the man’s eyes were a very unusual shade of green.
“Let’s have a look at the lad,” he said.
Sally put her hands on the boy’s thin shoulders and held him away from her. The front of her pelisse was filthy, from coal dirt and tears and the boy’s runny nose. She appeared not to notice.
“What is your name?” she asked gently.
“Jem,” came the reply.
“How long have you been a climbing boy?” the man asked.
“Just a few months. But I don’t like it. I’m afraid of getting caught in the chimney. But my pa said he couldna feed me, that I’d have to do it.”
“How old are you?”
“Eight.”
He was small enough to look five. He snuffled. Sally looked at her rescuer and said, “Do you have a handkerchief, sir?”
The thick blond brows rose, but the man reached into the pocket of his greatcoat and produced the article requested.
“Here,” Sally said, handing over the pristine handkerchief. “Blow your nose, Jem, and wipe your face.”
The two adults stood in silence and watched as the boy did as he was requested. When he was finished he attempted to hand the handkerchief back to its owner, who shook his head sharply and said, “No, no, you keep it, boy.”
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Joan Wolf
Napoleon's troops stand defeated and Wellington's Spanish campaign is over. Now a dedicated British soldier enters a very different hind of war: a battle for the woman he loves…The eldest son of the Earl of Standish and heir to his late father's holdings, Alexander Devize is summoned home to his duties in England. Waiting for him, he believes, is Diana Sherwood, the irrepressible beauty with whom he shared an unforgettable night of passion, a young woman he fully intends to marry. But Diana, lovelier and more headstrong than ever, has other intentions.A soldier's daughter, Diana refuses to suffer the harsh world of being a soldier's wife and plans instead her coming out in London, ignoring the memories of wild and reckless Alex. Convinced she's found the proper, stable gentleman in Robert Welbourne, she pursues her course, unaware of a treachery building around her–or of the unwavering devotion of a soldier willing to fight for all he's worth in a battle he must not lose.
Praise for the novels of JOAN WOLF
“Romance writing at its very best.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review) on The Guardian
“Wolf’s intricately plotted and vividly detailed historical romance introduces the reader to a time and a conflict unfamiliar to many and offers intriguing glimpses of the main players and the great stakes involved.”
—Booklist on To the Castle
“Joan Wolf never fails to deliver the best.”
—Nora Roberts
“An entertaining and thought-provoking read.”
—Washington Post Book World on The Reindeer Hunters
“Wolf…leaps into the contemporary romantic suspense arena with this smart, compelling read.”
—Publishers Weekly on Silverbridge
“A quick-moving, enchanting tale…
An excellent choice for readers who want an exciting epic.”
—Booklist on Daughter of the Red Deer
“Captivating…endearing…heartwarming…
Wolf’s assured storytelling is simply the best.”
—BookPage on Royal Bride
“Fast paced, highly readable…”
—Library Journal on The Gamble
“Joan Wolf is absolutely wonderful.
I’ve loved her work for years.”
—Iris Johansen
“The always-awesome Joan Wolf proves she is a master in any format or genre.”
—Romantic Times BOOKclub
Also by JOAN WOLF
TO THE CASTLE
WHITE HORSES
His Lordship’s Desire
Joan Wolf
www.mirabooks.co.uk (http://www.mirabooks.co.uk)
As always, for Joe.
Contents
Chapter One (#u968fbabf-545c-57b9-8b91-e724c61042ab)
Chapter Two (#uc4d1c7b1-460c-5a18-ba46-914e26514156)
Chapter Three (#ud71cba02-3edc-5a4e-a838-e39deaf9f1f6)
Chapter Four (#u69038499-24d7-5079-9941-483ba0829314)
Chapter Five (#u42042c2c-6ba2-5b4e-a614-a31d85ff585c)
Chapter Six (#u7aba609c-50ac-5278-8257-815a0d027c45)
Chapter Seven (#ubd447bf4-25b3-5258-902c-08e5b7840116)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Two (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Three (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twenty-Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirty (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
One
Perched high on the Berkshire downs, five miles north of Lambourn, Standish Court rose out of the mist before the eyes of Alexander Devize. He had not seen his home in over three years and the sight of the large, spreading redbrick building, built around a graveled courtyard, caused a sudden tightening in his stomach. When he left home three years ago, his father had been alive and in charge. Now Alex was the Earl of Standish and he wasn’t quite sure he was ready to assume the huge responsibilities that came with his new position. The change from the chaos of the battlefield to the settled sprawling acres of Standish Court would take some getting used to.
He left his phaeton at the bottom of the shallow set of stairs that led to the front door and walked slowly upward. He raised the knocker and banged it three times.
The door was opened promptly by a burly young footman who looked at him politely. “Yes, sir. May I help you?”
Alex had opened his mouth to identify himself when an elderly voice from behind the footman said, “You stupid dolt. That’s his lordship!”
Henrys, who had been butler to the Devizes for as long as Alex could remember, pushed the large footman out of his way and said in a quavering voice, “My lord, my lord, how wonderful it is to see you home!”
Alex took the old man’s hand. “It’s grand to be here, Henrys. I hope I don’t give everyone too much of a shock.”
“Not at all, my lord. Not at all. Her ladyship will be so glad to see you! She and Mrs. Sherwood are in the Yellow Drawing Room. Will you go to them or do you wish me to announce you?”
“I’ll go along myself, Henrys.” He gestured to the door. “My phaeton is waiting. Will you see that everything is taken care of?”
“Of course, my lord, I shall see to it immediately.”
Alex took off his hat uncovering his black curls, then walked slowly through the entrance hall. He went through the arch that Adam had created to replicate the Arch of Constantine in Rome and into the centerpiece of the whole house, a huge circular domed room lined with twenty Corinthian columns carved from a striking green-veined marble. The vast open floor was marble and on the walls were a series of grisaille panels depicting sacrificial and martial scenes.
Alex’s father had designed the room to inspire awe and wonder from the onlooker, and it fulfilled that role admirably. Alex stood looking at it for a long moment, then he proceeded to the right, to the staircase that would take him to the second floor.
On the second floor he passed through the main drawing room, which had a magnificent plaster-work ceiling by Joseph Rose, an intricate Thomas Witty carpet which mirrored the ceiling’s design, pale blue damask walls and Chippendale furniture, through the music room and into the smaller Yellow Drawing Room, which had windows looking out on the front and the west side of the house.
The two women were seated on matching Chinese-style sofas with a tea table set up between them. Both were holding fragile teacups in their hands. Alex focused on the woman with gray-blond hair drawn back into a smooth chignon, “Hello, Mama. I’m home.”
Lady Standish looked at him and dropped her teacup on the Persian rug. “Alex? Good gracious, is that you?”
“Yes, it is Mama.” He smiled. “I’m sorry to give you such a shock.”
“You’re home!” Lady Standish shrieked. She stood up and held out her arms. “You’re home, you’re home, you’re home!”
He enveloped her in a giant hug. “Yes, I’m really home,” he said. “You shouldn’t be too surprised. You wrote me that I was needed.” He kissed her soft cheek. “You smell good,” he said.
“I thought you would come home by yourself last year, when your father died,” she said a little accusingly.
“We were in the middle of the campaign to push the French out of Spain, Mama. We’ve done that now, and I felt that my usefulness was over. So here I am.”
Lady Standish sighed. “Well, I won’t reproach you any longer.” She turned to the woman who was sitting on the other sofa. “Louisa, is it not wonderful that Alex has come home?”
Louisa Sherwood, his mother’s cousin, nodded her head. “It’s good to see you again, Alex. We’ve all missed you.”
Lady Standish returned to her seat and said, “Ring the bell, Alex, and I’ll have this tea stain cleared up. Would you like to join Louisa and me for tea? Or perhaps you would care for a glass of sherry?”
Alex smiled. “Tea would be fine, Mama.” He sat in a fragile-looking Chinese-style chair that was near the two matching yellow sofas. “Having a quiet Sunday afternoon, are you?”
“Yes. The girls went out for a ride and they took the children with them, so we have some time to ourselves.”
A footman came into the room. “Clarence,” Lady Standish said, “bring more tea. And come back with something to rub out this tea stain.”
“Yes, my lady,” the footman replied.
As he left the room, Lady Standish turned eagerly to her son. “How grown-up you look, Alex. You were a boy when last I saw you. Now you are a man.”
“Yes, well, war will do that to a fellow, Mama,” he returned soberly.
“I almost died when I heard you were wounded at Vitoria. I thought for sure you would come home to recuperate.”
“It was nothing more than a flesh wound, Mama. I wrote you that. It healed very quickly.”
The footman returned bearing a tray with more tea and an extra cup and saucer. While the footman rubbed at the carpet, Lady Standish poured her son some tea.
Alex accepted the cup and turned courteously to the other woman in the room. “How are you, Cousin Louisa? You are looking very well.”
Louisa Sherwood was a very pretty woman and she smiled pleasantly at Alex. “I am very well, thank you, Alex.”
Alex turned back to his mother. “Now, what is so pressing that you sent me such an urgent letter?”
Lady Standish’s face became serious. “The estate has been solely in the hands of our estate manager for a year now, and I think it is time that someone oversees what he is doing. He tells me the cottages by the river need reroofing, but I do not like to authorize such an expenditure without your approval. There are several other things that need doing. It was time for you to come home, Alex.”
Alex thought that his mother, who had been living at Standish Court all the while that he was away, should know more about the necessity of reroofing the cottages than he did, but he didn’t say so. He merely nodded and took another sip of tea.
“We can also use your help in another area,” Lady Standish said. “I am bringing out your sister this season, and Louisa’s daughter, Diana, is to make her come-out with Sally.” Sally was the family’s pet name for Lady Sarah, Alex’s eldest sister. “It will be much more pleasant for us to have a gentleman to escort us than to have to go places by ourselves.”
Alex put his cup on the table closest to him. “Dee is twenty,” he said. “Hasn’t she already made a come-out?”
“Well, she has been ‘out’ in the neighborhood, certainly. And she has had her share of proposals. But she’s refused them all, so I said that when I took Sally to London, Diana could come along.”
“An incredibly generous offer that we deeply appreciate,” Mrs. Sherwood said softly.
Lady Standish patted her cousin’s hand. “I have never forgotten how kind Diana was to Sally the year that she was so ill. And I will be very happy to have your company.”
The two women smiled mistily at each other.
“So you are taking both Dee and Sally to London for the Season,” Alex said. “Is this a husband-hunting expedition?” His voice was a little tense.
“Of course it is,” Lady Standish returned. “That’s the whole reason for any young girl to make a come-out.”
At this point, the door to the Yellow Drawing Room opened and a beautiful girl with coppery-gold curls and wearing a well-used riding habit came into the room. Alex’s breath caught.
“I am sorry to have to tell you this, Cousin Amelia, but Maria fell off her pony and I’m afraid she may have broken her collarbone. She is asking for you. Will you come?”
Lady Standish got immediately to her feet. “Of course I will come. What happened?”
“A deer darted out on the trail and spooked Candy. Maria fell off. I am terribly sorry, Cousin Amelia. It all happened so quickly that there was nothing we could do.”
“Have you sent for the doctor?” Lady Standish asked as she made for the door.
“Yes. I sent one of the grooms from the stable.”
“Oh dear!” Lady Standish moaned. “What is it about that child that she is always in trouble?”
The door closed behind her.
Alex, who had stood up as soon as Diana entered, now said, “Hello, Dee. It’s good to see you again.”
The girl’s dark brown eyes turned to him. Something flashed in their brilliant depths and then was gone. Her hand touched the back of the sofa. “Hello, Alex,” she said. There was a pause. “Or should I call you ‘your lordship’?”
He felt himself flush. “I will always be Alex to you. You know that.”
She raised a perfect winged brow. “Do I?”
He felt his breathing coming faster than usual. She had been beautiful at seventeen, but now, at twenty…“You should,” he managed to say firmly.
She shrugged, a lissome movement of her slender shoulders. “It’s good you’ve finally come home. Your mother has need of you. Standish Court is an enormous estate. You have responsibilities here.”
The brown eyes that were looking at him were cold. He was not accustomed to having Diana look at him like that, and he set his mouth and said quietly, “I realize that. That’s why I have come.”
“The war is over anyway, is it not?” she said.
“Yes. The allies are ready to enter Paris, and Napoleon will be forced to sign an Act of Abdication one of these days.”
Dismissing him from her attention, Diana turned to her mother. “I think I will go back to the stables and check on Candy, Mama. She didn’t seem to take any harm, but I want to make sure.”
“I’ll go with you,” Alex said quickly. “I’d like to see what horses you have. Monty is still here, isn’t he?”
“Of course. In fact, I have been riding him, so he is in excellent condition.”
He turned to Mrs. Sherwood. “Will you excuse us, ma’am?”
She looked from him to her daughter then back again to him. “Of course,” she said after the briefest of pauses. “When you are done, return to our house, Diana. I want to finish fitting that new dress of yours.”
“All right, Mama,” Diana said, and the two young people went out the door.
They didn’t speak as they went down the stairs and through the back hall to the door that was closest to the stables. The garden was still mostly bare from the winter and the great fountain with nymphs and cherubs was dry as well. The footpath to the stable led through the garden and down a grassy hill. At the bottom of the hill stood the brick stable building and the stable yard, which was surrounded by a stone wall. In the distance were the fenced-in pad-docks where two horses were turned out.
As they passed under the stable arch, Alex finally broke the silence. “I wrote to you many times, but you never once wrote back. Not once, in all those years.”
She raised her chin and kept walking. “Did you expect me to? You made your choice, Alex. I said it was either the army or me and you chose the army. It wasn’t I who ended things between us, it was you.”
He put a hand on her arm, forcing her to stop and face him. “You told me to go.”
“It was so obvious that you wanted to go, Alex. I just said the words you wanted to hear. But I never said that I would wait for you.”
“But you haven’t married,” he said.
She shrugged, a typical Diana gesture. “There is no one around here that I want to marry. But I am going to make my come-out with Sally next month and, hopefully, we will both find suitable husbands in London.”
He looked down at her. He was two inches over six feet tall and the top of her head reached only to his nose.
He tightened his grip on her arm. “I thought about you all the time I was away. I missed you, Dee. I told you that in my letters.”
“I never read them,” she said, and pulled away from him and continued on into the stable yard. A tall, broad-shouldered man in his thirties was holding a horse in front of the stable, and his face broke into a huge grin when he saw Alex. “My lord,” he said. “You’re home!”
Alex forced a smile and went over to Standish Court’s head groom. “Yes, Henley, I’m home to stay. How are you? You look well.”
“I am very good, thank you, your lordship. We were all that worried about you when we heard you was wounded!”
“It was nothing,” Alex said. “It healed very quickly. Miss Sherwood has come to check on the pony that threw my sister and I have come to have a look at the horses.”
Henley called to a young boy to come and take the horse he was holding. “Monty is in fine fettle,” he said. “Miss Diana has been keeping him fit for you.”
“Why don’t you show his lordship around the stable and I will take a look at Candy,” Diana said.
“Fine!” Henley said enthusiastically.
Alex glanced at Diana but she was not looking at him. After a moment he moved off with Henley.
“We haven’t made many changes since your father died,” Henley said as they walked down the wide aisle and looked into the light, airy stalls. “We kept his two hunters and Master James and Master Jeremy ride them when they come home from school. The grooms keep them exercised and Miss Diana will take them out occasionally and put them over some jumps. Here is Annie, Miss Diana’s horse.”
Alex looked into the stall at the tall, rangy bay mare. Strictly speaking, Annie did not belong to Diana. Alex’s father had bought the mare from an abusive owner and had allowed Diana to ride her, deeming the mare not good enough for any of his own children.
Alex said, “She must be getting on in years by now.”
“She’s virtually retired,” Henley said. “Miss Diana has been riding Monty lately. Of course, now that you’re home…”
“I have a horse coming,” Alex said. “The horse I rode in Spain. There’s no reason why Miss Diana can’t keep riding Monty.”
Henley beamed. He had always adored Diana. “You’d think that horse should be too big for her, but he’s like butter in her hands. I think she can ride anything, Miss Diana.”
They were standing at the stall of a stocky chestnut gelding, who came over to greet them. He looked at Alex with soft eyes.
“This one is new,” Alex said.
“He belongs to Lady Sarah. He’s a sweetheart.”
They continued on down the aisle, looking at the carriage horses and the ponies that belonged to Alex’s two younger sisters, Maria and Margaret. Diana was in the stall with one of the ponies and she came out as they approached.
“There’s no heat,” she said. “I thought she might have kicked herself when she spooked, but she seems all right.”
“She’s a feisty little pony,” Henley said. “Maybe she’s too much for Lady Maria.”
“She’s new,” Alex said. “I don’t remember her.”
“Maria outgrew her old pony and we got her Candy a few months ago,” Diana said. “She was quiet when I looked at her, but she seems to have a habit of spooking.”
“Having a deer jump out in front of her would spook most horses,” Alex commented.
“True,” Diana said. “But there have been other occasions…”
“Remember that hellion of a pony I used to have?” Alex asked.
For the first time a faint smile tilted Diana’s lips. “You loved him because he would jump anything.”
“He would buck at anything, too.”
The smile disappeared from Diana’s face. “I hope the horses meet with your approval,” she said stiffly.
“Miss Diana has taken charge of the stable since your father died, your lordship,” Henley said. “She has made sure that everything runs smoothly.”
“I see that I must thank you, Dee,” Alex said. “I appreciate your time and effort.”
“It was nothing,” she said dismissively. “Now I think we had better return to the house and see what has happened to poor Maria.”
She strode down the aisle toward the door and he lingered a moment, watching her slim figure clad in a serviceable riding skirt and a wool jacket. Her red-gold hair caught all the light in the stable.
After a moment, he followed her.
Two
Maria had indeed broken her collarbone and Alex bent to kiss his ten-year-old sister and commiserate with her.
“Have you ever broken your collarbone?” she asked. Her face was white and her blond curls were tumbled.
“No, but I broke my arm once.”
“Falling from a horse?”
“Yes. My pony bucked me off.”
Maria said, “I don’t think I like Candy. She is always jumping at things.”
“Then we’ll get you another pony,” he said promptly.
“She was good when I tried her. It was just when we got her home that she started to act spooky.”
“Then she’s not the pony for you,” he said. “We’ll get you something more reliable.”
She smiled at him. “Thank you, Alex.”
“Maria needs something like my Basil,” said Margaret, Alex’s twelve-year-old sister. “He’s very steady.”
“We’ll see what we can find,” he said.
Alex, Diana, Sally and Margaret were in Maria’s room and Maria was in bed, where Lady Standish had insisted she stay for the rest of the afternoon. Maria’s left arm was in a sling.
“At least it’s your left arm,” Margaret said.
“Yes,” Maria said glumly. “Jeremy is going to make fun of me when he hears that I fell off and broke my collarbone.”
Jeremy was Alex’s brother who was at Eton.
“No he won’t,” Alex said. “I won’t let him.”
Maria’s blue eyes looked hopefully at her eldest brother. “You won’t?”
“No.”
Maria smiled. “I’m glad you’re home, Alex.”
“I’m glad I’m home, too,” he said.
“I think we should all leave and give Maria a chance to rest,” Sally said.
Diana was the first one to turn to the door. She was followed by Margaret, then Sally and lastly Alex. He closed the door behind him gently.
Once they were out in the hall, his eighteen-year-old sister Sally smiled up at him. “We’re so glad you’re home and that you’re safe,” she said.
“I’m glad to be home,” Alex said for perhaps the dozenth time that day.
“Did Mama tell you that Diana and I are going to make our come-outs next month?” Sally asked.
“Yes, she did.”
“You can be our escort, Alex. Perhaps you will even find a girl you want to marry yourself.”
Alex’s eyes went to Diana. “Perhaps,” he said.
Dinner that evening was a festive affair. It was a welcome home dinner for Alex and both Margaret and Maria were allowed to join the family at the table. Diana and her mother were also present. Lady Standish explained to Alex that since his father had died she had invited her cousin Louisa and her daughter to join her for dinner every evening. “It would have been too sad, with just Sally and me.”
The Sherwood women lived in a cottage on the Standish estate and had done so for the past eighteen years. Lady Standish had invited her cousin Louisa to make use of the house when her husband had been called to military duty in India. Mr. Sherwood had eventually attained the rank of colonel and after India he had been called to the Peninsula, where he had perished in the Battle of Corunna.
The Sherwoods were not in the same social or financial class as the Earl and Countess of Standish, but because the two women were close friends, the Sherwoods had often taken part in the activities of Standish Court. The earl had been very tolerant of his wife’s cousin, but he had been more aware of the gap between the two families than his wife had been. Both women knew that if the earl had been alive, Diana would not have been making her come-out with Sally.
So Alex sat around the table that night with six females. It was a distinct change for a man who for the past three years had known masculine companionship almost exclusively.
“You must sit down with Billings and go over the estate books,” Lady Sherwood said to her son as the soup course was served. “I think he is a good man, but your papa was scrupulous about keeping up with all of the estate accounts. I believe there is also something that needs to be done with the property in Derbyshire.”
How different my life is going to be, Alex thought. All my life, all I wanted was to be a soldier. Now that’s over and I’m an earl. He let his eyes roam around the familiar but somehow strange-looking room. Then he looked back at his mother.
“I’ll talk to him, Mama,” he said.
Lady Standish gave him a grateful smile. “It is so good to have you home, my son.”
“Alex said he would get me a new pony, Mama,” Maria said. “Candy is too dangerous.”
“Good, good,” said Lady Standish. “We can’t have you breaking your bones, Maria.”
“What do you think is going to happen in France, Alex?” Mrs. Sherwood asked.
Alex looked at her. She was still very attractive but she had never been the beauty her daughter was. “We have Napoleon on the ropes, ma’am,” he replied. “He is going to have to abdicate.”
“Does that mean the king will come back?” Diana asked.
Alex turned his eyes to her. She was dressed in a simple ivory evening dress that set off the pure white of her skin. It gave him a shock of physical pleasure just to look at her. She was even more beautiful than the image he had carried in his heart for all those years. “He said Louis has been waiting patiently in England for this chance for a long time.”
“Well, I hope they set up a government more like ours, with a parliament that gives the people some power,” Diana said. “It would be a shame for France to have gone through all it has only to end up with the same old Bourbons again.”
Alex smiled at her. “Still a revolutionary, eh Dee?”
“I wouldn’t call it revolutionary to wish for a governing parliament,” Diana replied soberly.
“I don’t think France will ever be the same again,” Alex said. “The revolution has left its mark, that’s for certain.”
“Well, I think that’s a good thing,” Diana replied decidedly.
Sally said, “When do you think we can leave for London, Mama?”
“I would like to have our ball before the end of April,” Lady Standish replied. “That means we will have to be in London several weeks earlier, to make plans and to buy clothes.”
Sally smiled. She had golden curls and sky-blue eyes like Alex. She said now, “It is going to be such fun, isn’t it, Diana?”
Diana smiled back. “Yes, it is.”
“What’s all this about a ball?” Alex said.
“We must have a ball to introduce the girls to society,” his mother said. “You will be the host, of course.”
He frowned. “I don’t know about this, Mama. I’ve been away at war for the last three years. I don’t know anything about balls.”
“You won’t have to do a thing,” his mother assured him. “Louisa and I will do it all. All you need to do is be there and stand in the receiving line with us. Oh, and dance with each of the girls, of course. And with as many other ladies as you can.”
Alex’s frown remained. “I had no idea when you called me home that I was going to be thrust into the middle of London’s social whirl.”
“It is your proper place,” his mother said. “You are the head of the family now, Alex. You have responsibilities.”
I know I do, he thought a little grimly. I just didn’t think that one of them was going to be to help Dee find a husband.
The following week was a whirlwind of activity for Alex. His estate agent, John Billings, took him all over the property belonging to Standish Court and pointed out the things that needed to be taken care of. His banker came from London and spent many hours going over his assets and encumbrances.
The late Lord Standish had been a prudent man and the estate was in good financial order. His mother had a widow’s jointure and use of the dower house should she want it. His brothers and sisters were Alex’s responsibility, but there was ample money to fund the boys’ educations and the girls’ come-outs into society.
In fact, Alex was a very wealthy man.
Mr. Billings had a few pet projects—like a canal on the Derbyshire estate—that he had been trying to get the late earl to invest in, and he brought them up to Alex, who put him off, promising to think about them.
Alex drove over to Oxford and Eton to visit his two younger brothers, who each managed to cadge ten pounds off of him.
By the end of the week, the whole family was as comfortable with Alex as if he had never gone away. Everyone, that is, except Diana.
He had tried numerous times to be alone with her, but she had not cooperated. She didn’t want to take a ride with him; she didn’t want to take a walk out to the lake with him; she didn’t even want to go with him to look at a new pony for Maria.
It was very frustrating.
He even stooped to trying to stir up a little sympathy from her by remarking that the damp weather was bothering his wound. She simply gave him a brilliant, dark-eyed stare. “What a shame,” she said, and walked away.
It didn’t help that she was so beautiful, that every time he saw her he wanted to catch her in his arms and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. It was quite clear to him, however, that such an action would only alienate her further.
“Why are you so angry at Alex?” Sally asked Diana suddenly one afternoon as the girls were sitting side by side in the Yellow Drawing Room looking at magazines of the latest styles in clothing.
Diana felt a stab of alarm. “I’m not angry at him. Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Well, you’re very short with him, that’s for certain. And he is trying to be so nice to you. It’s not like you, Diana, not to be friendly. Especially to Alex.”
“I’m friendly,” Diana said defensively. She couldn’t meet Sally’s honest gaze so she kept her eyes on her magazine.
“No, you’re not. Look at me, Diana. What’s wrong?”
Diana looked up, her brown eyes meeting Sally’s sky-blue gaze. The two girls were very close, and it was difficult for Diana to fib.
“Nothing is wrong,” Diana said crisply. “You’re imagining things, Sally. It’s just that my mind is on things other than Alex right now. I’m very excited about our London come-out.”
Pretty color flushed into Sally’s cheeks. She was a lovely girl, the picture of innocent girlhood poised on the brink of becoming a woman. She had been allowed this last year to attend one or two local assemblies and house parties where she had encountered young men, but her experiences had not given her any hint of sophistication.
“I’m excited about it, too,” she said. “It will be so different from our usual life here at Standish Court.”
“I know,” Diana said. She tried to focus her mind on their upcoming London visit. “Cousin Amelia says that there are places to ride. Hyde Park is evidently a popular venue. We will need horses. I wonder if Alex knows which ones he is going to bring.”
“Ask him,” Sally urged. “You will be miserable if you can’t ride.”
“I know.”
“Then ask him. You know Mama is leaving the horses up to Alex. Find out from him what he is going to do.”
Later that afternoon, Diana had an opportunity to ask Alex this important question. They were both at the stable at the same time. Diana was lunging Candy when a carriage came in with a jet-black horse tied behind it. Shortening up the lunge line, Diana went over to look at the black horse, which was standing quietly looking around him.
He was a large animal, with a beautiful arched neck, short back and long, strong-looking legs.
Henley came out of the stable and went over to the carriage. “This must be his lordship’s horse from the Peninsula,” he said to the driver.
“That’s right,” the driver answered. “This is Black Bart. I’ve brought him all the way from Bordeaux.”
“I’ll send to the house to tell his lordship you are here,” Henley said.
While they waited for Alex, Diana introduced herself to Black Bart. He took the piece of carrot she offered and pricked his ears forward when she began to talk to him. Then, once they were acquainted, she proceed to run her hands down his legs and over his nicely sloping shoulders.
“Bart!” It was Alex’s voice. “How are you, fellow? I’ve missed you!”
The horse nickered when he heard the familiar voice. Alex went over to rub his forehead and scratch under his mane in a place he clearly liked.
Diana said, “He’s a beautiful horse, Alex.”
He turned his head to grin at her. “He saved my bacon a few times, I can tell you that. Unlike many cavalry horses who simply gallop forward out of control, Bart always listened to me.” He turned back to the gelding. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you fellow?”
Bart tossed his head in reply.
Alex turned to Henley. “Is his stall ready?”
“Aye, my lord. We’ve had it ready for several days now.”
The sun glinted off the black of the horse’s coat and the black of Alex’s hair as he took the rope that had tied the horse to the carriage, turned him and began to lead him toward the barn.
Diana followed.
Once Bart had been established in his stall with a bucket of fresh water and a pile of hay, Alex turned away from the door and for the first time seemed to notice Diana’s presence.
“So you like him, Dee?” he asked.
“Very much.” She began to walk out of the barn with him. “Have you decided what horses you are bringing to London with you?”
They had left the stable yard and followed the path back to the house. “I will have the carriage horses, of course, and I will bring horses for you and Sally to ride. And I’ll bring Bart for me.”
“Do you think you could bring Monty for me?” Diana asked a little breathlessly. “Annie is basically retired. She’s lame more often than she’s not.”
He frowned. “Monty’s all right in the country, but can you trust him in the city, with all the traffic? He’s never been in a city in his life.”
“I’m sure he’ll be all right,” Diana said.
“Perhaps we would be better off buying you a horse accustomed to London. I can always go to Tattersalls and pick you up a good riding horse.”
“I’d rather have Monty,” Diana insisted. “I have grown very fond of him since you left. I ride him almost every day.”
He stopped and regarded her with lifted black brows. “So you took over my horse, eh?”
“You left him,” she said, her beautiful lips set into a grim line. “You didn’t care what happened to him.”
He kept looking at her, then he turned and began to walk again. “I left him in my father’s stable, where no horse has ever been neglected. I had no worry that he would be mistreated. Moreover, I knew from Sally that you were riding him.”
It was stupid to alienate him, she thought. Not when she wanted this favor from him. “He’s like my own horse,” she said in a softer voice. “Please, Alex, if you’re not going to bring him for yourself, bring him for me. I’m looking forward to going to London, but if I can’t ride I shall be miserable.”
“Very well,” he said abruptly. “I’ll take Monty.”
She drew in her breath audibly. “Thank you,” she said.
He nodded and they continued their walk. After a minute of silence, he said, “You don’t have to go to London to find a husband, you know. You can marry me.”
She had spent her whole girlhood thinking she would marry Alex. But that was all changed now. “That’s good of you,” she said expressionlessly, “but it’s too late, Alex.”
“You’re only twenty and I’m twenty-two! How can it be too late?”
All of the anger and pain and feelings of abandonment bubbled up inside her and this time she couldn’t push them back down. She turned on him passionately. “It was too late the day you made your decision to go into the army,” she said angrily. “That was the day you killed whatever it was that I felt for you.”
He caught her arm and held her facing him. “I can’t believe that’s true.”
She stared down at his hand and slowly he opened his fingers and let her go.
“Believe it,” she said, as she turned and walked away. “Because it’s the truth.”
Three
It was several days since the shock of seeing Alex again had caused Diana to jump and her breath to accelerate. When he had called her Dee…no one else in this world had ever called her Dee. It was a symbol of the bond between them, that name.
But as the time passed, and the unexpectedness of seeing him began to wear off, she found herself more able to steel herself when she was in his presence. He was busy about the estate and she often didn’t see him until dinnertime. There, surrounded by the rest of the family, it was easier to be cool and composed, to let herself pretend that she was indifferent to him.
She wanted to be indifferent to him. Whatever had been between them had been irrevocably severed three years ago, when he had chosen to leave her. She believed that firmly. What she had felt then, and what had happened to her after his departure, was a chasm between them that could never be bridged.
He showed me how unimportant I was to him, she told herself. Now that he is home he thinks he can pick up right where he left off. Well, he can’t. I don’t need him. I don’t need to marry a wealthy earl. I need to marry a steady sort of man with a comfortable income, someone who I can rely on, someone who will be a good father to my children. Someone who will be there when I need him. Not like Alex.
Diana was very aware that she and her mother lived on the edge of poverty. If it had not been for Lady Standish providing them with a home and some social standing, she would have grown up in rented rooms in a city like Bath. Her father had been the younger son of a squire and the only money he had was his army pay. After he died, the Sherwoods had lived on a tiny pension, supplemented by the piano lessons that Mrs. Sherwood gave to local children. It was only because of Louisa Sherwood’s connection to Lady Standish that Diana had had the opportunity to ride horses and go to parties.
This opportunity to make a come-out in London was a godsend to her. She knew she had to marry. The thought of spending the rest of her life hanging on Alex’s generosity made her shudder. She knew a good marriage wasn’t going to be easy for a penniless girl like her. But she was aware of her beauty and she thought that in all of London there must be at least one good man who would find her beautiful enough, and personable enough, to want to marry her.
Sally would attract earls and viscounts; Diana was not foolish enough to expect that kind of attention. What she wanted was a nice, solid man, a house in the country, with dogs and horses and children. Surely that was not too much to hope for.
She only wished that Alex was not coming with them.
A few weeks after Alex’s return, an invitation arrived from Viscountess Alston asking the Devizes and the Sherwoods to a small party she was having at Reeve House. The Alstons lived some seven miles away from Standish Court and were the nearest neighbors of their own social standing. Alex’s father had been friends with Viscount Alston and when the earl was alive the two families had often socialized. Lady Standish accepted the invitation for herself and the Sherwoods.
“I’m sure they want to see you, Alex,” Lady Standish said as they discussed the invitation over dinner that night. Instead of eating in the huge formal dining room, the family usually dined in the smaller family eating room that was much cozier than the elegant perfection that Adam had created in the main room.
“Is it to be just us and the Alstons?” he asked.
“I gather from Phoebe’s note that she has asked a few other people from the neighborhood. You know we have never stood on ceremony in the country, Alex. I’m sure Dr. Lawrence will be there, and probably the squire. And Sir Burton Nable, as well.”
“I hope Ned comes,” Alex said. “I’ve been meaning to go and see him.”
Sir Burton’s son Ned had been a good friend of Alex’s when the boys were young. Ned had also gone to the Peninsula, but he had not been as lucky as Alex. He had been in an infantry regiment and had lost the lower part of his left leg at Salamanca.
“I would be surprised if Ned were not there,” Mrs. Sherwood said. “He is engaged to be married, Alex. Do you remember Lizzie Carruthers?”
“Yes. Good heavens, is Lizzie old enough to be married?”
“She’s eighteen, the same age as I am,” Sally said.
“It’s strange, but when you’re away you picture people staying the way they were when last you saw them,” Alex said, his eyes on Diana. “You don’t picture them as changing at all.”
“Everybody changes,” Diana replied. “And three years is a long time. I’m certainly not the same person at twenty that I was at seventeen, when you went away.”
“I’ve noticed that,” he said.
When dinner was ended they all retired upstairs to the music room, where Sally entertained them on the piano. She was very good and the others sat quietly and listened with pleasure to the strains of Mozart. Alex watched Diana, who was seated on a sofa next to her mother.
The curve of her cheekbones held great sweetness and the large, dark eyes in that fair-skinned face were marvelously arresting. Her mouth was perfect. Not too thin, not too full—just perfect.
She had a right to be angry with him. He knew that. He had had to choose between staying home for her or fulfilling his lifelong dream of being a soldier. He had chosen the latter. At nineteen, the dream had exerted a more powerful fascination than she had.
If he had known then what he knew now about war, he wondered if he would have made the same choice.
As if she had felt his gaze, she turned her head to look at him. For the briefest of moments something powerful flared between them. Then she frowned, looked down to smooth her skirt and returned her gaze to Sally.
She’s not indifferent to me, Alex thought over his thudding heart. No matter what she might say, something’s still left of what was once between us. I’m sure of it. Perhaps I haven’t lost her after all. If I’m just patient enough…
The music stopped and Lady Standish said to her daughter, “That was lovely, dear.”
Sally turned around on the piano seat and smiled at her audience. Everyone clapped.
Lady Standish said, “Let’s move into the Yellow Drawing Room for tea.”
On the night of the Alston’s party, Lady Standish decreed that they should all ride in the Standish coach.
“There is no reason for you to have to freeze driving an open carriage, Alex,” she said to her son. “You can squeeze in with Sally and Diana. After all, we aren’t going far.”
Alex, who liked the idea of squeezing in with Diana, did not argue with his mother’s pronouncement.
So it was that the five people assembled on the drive in front of the house to get into the elegant, well-sprung Standish carriage. Lady Standish and Mrs. Sherwood got in first, sitting on one side of the carriage, then Lady Standish beckoned to her son to follow her.
Alex climbed in and seated himself by the far window opposite to his mother and Mrs. Sherwood. Outside he heard Sally say, “Would you mind if I had the window seat, Diana? You know I am prone to motion sickness.”
There was a distinct pause, then Diana said, “Of course, Sally.”
Alex watched as Diana climbed into the carriage and sat beside him. She left a good amount of space between the two of them, but when Sally joined them she was forced to move closer.
Alex put his arm along the back of the seat, as if to make more room. It was dark inside the carriage, but he could feel the closeness of her body with every cell in his own. His body stirred. He hadn’t been this close to her since he had been home.
“There now, that’s not too bad, is it?” Lady Standish said cheerfully.
“It’s fine, Mama,” Sally said.
Diana was silent.
After a moment, the carriage started forward.
“I’m glad it’s a nice clear night,” Lady Standish said. “I dislike driving at night in the rain. I’m always afraid William will drive us off the road. He’s getting old and I don’t think he sees that well in the dark.”
“Good heavens, Mama,” Alex said. “Why on earth are you employing a coachman who can’t see in the dark?”
“Your father was going to retire him, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him. He’s been with us for so many years…”
“Well, he can’t keep his job if he can’t see,” Alex said reasonably. “There’s an empty cottage next to where Nanny lives. I’ll give him a nice pension. They can be retired together.”
Lady Standish sighed. “You’re right, of course. I suppose I just didn’t want any more changes after your father died.”
“Poor William,” Diana said mournfully. “What will he do with himself if he can’t drive the coach?”
“He can fish,” Alex said. “He always went fishing on his day off. He taught me a thing or two about catching fish when I was small.”
“I didn’t know William fished,” Sally said.
“Fancy that,” Lady Standish said.
“We’ll find someone younger to replace him, Mama,” Alex said. “You’ll be more comfortable with a man you’re not afraid is going to put you in a ditch.”
“Thank you, Alex,” Lady Standish said.
“Poor William,” Diana repeated softly.
“William will be fine,” Alex said firmly, “and his job can be filled by one of the men who are coming home from the war. There are many ex-soldiers in need of a job and there will be many more once Napoleon is deposed. There are not nearly enough jobs to accommodate the numbers that will be thrown on the economy. I foresee hard times for many good men and their families.”
Silence fell on the coach until they drew up at the front door of Reeve House. All the windows were lit and a footman was there to assist the occupants out of the carriage.
Alex followed the ladies into the front hall where their wraps and coats were taken by another footman. Then they were escorted upstairs to the large formal drawing room where a group of people had already gathered.
A woman dressed in a green evening gown and a man wearing the same formal clothes as Alex—a black tail coat, buff pantaloons, silk stockings and black pumps—came to greet them. “Amelia, my dear. How lovely to see you,” Lady Alston said. “And Louisa, too. And your girls.”
The ladies responded appropriately, then Lady Standish said to Lord and Lady Alston, “And here is Alex, newly returned from the Peninsula.”
“We have prayed for your safety,” Lady Alston said, taking Alex’s hand and holding it tightly.
“Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate that,” Alex said.
Lord Alston took Alex’s hand from his wife and shook it hard. “Good to see you, my boy,” he said. “Your father was very proud of you.”
“Thank you, sir,” Alex said. “I am only sorry that I didn’t have a chance to see him before he died.”
“He understood. He followed the campaign closely, you know. We both did. And he appreciated your letters.”
“Well, come along in, and meet our other guests,” Lady Alston said gaily. “It is something to celebrate, having you home again.”
Alex knew most of the people at the party. He was particularly pleased to see his friend Ned Nable there and the two young men went into a corner to talk. Their sober expressions were in contrast to the gaiety of the rest of the room.
Alex came back to awareness of the party when he heard the piano. For the first time he noticed that the rug had been rolled back. Evidently there was going to be dancing.
It was immediately obvious to Alex that every man in the room wanted to dance with Diana. The doctor moved the fastest and the two of them held hands to join in the circle for a Scottish reel.
“Dance with Lizzie, would you?” Ned said. “The poor girl doesn’t get many dances with an amputee for a fiancé.”
“I would be delighted to dance with Lizzie,” Alex said, and took the hand of Ned’s future wife.
In the course of the dance he managed to touch hands with Diana once or twice, which was as close as he got to her for most of the evening. He danced with his mother, with his hostess, even with Sally, but every time he tried to approach Diana she was giving her hand to another man.
He finally grabbed her when she was coming out of the ladies’ retiring room. “It will look strange if you don’t dance with me,” he said. “Everyone here knows we used to be good friends. Do you want to start gossip?”
She glared up at him, her dark eyes stormy. Tonight she was wearing her hair high on the back of her head, with little tendrils falling down her neck. “Oh, all right,” she huffed. “Let’s get it over with.”
She marched into the drawing room and gave him her hand without looking at him. He closed his hand around hers, feeling the long elegant fingers that were so gentle on the mouth of a horse. He held her hand more tightly than was necessary and she shot him a look but didn’t say anything. The music started and the circle they were part of began to move.
It was frustrating, to be so close to her yet feel that she was so far away. When the dance finished he went back to join Ned, who was sitting on a sofa with Lizzie.
“Don’t tell me you’re tired?” Lizzie teased.
He smiled at her. “No. I’m just resting after the triumph of finally having won a dance with Miss Sherwood.”
“She’s had a proposal from every unattached man in this room,” Lizzie said cheerfully. “But I hear she’s going to London. She’ll probably make a much better match there.”
She’s refused all of these men, Alex thought. Surely that’s a good sign.
His eyes rested on his sister. He didn’t have to ask whether or not Sally had received any offers. There was no chance in the world that an earl’s daughter would marry the country doctor.
The music had stopped and servants were coming in with a tea tray. Alex went to get his cup and looked forward to the ride home, when he would be sitting close beside Diana.
Four
Despite feeling tired when she got into bed after the party, Diana couldn’t fall asleep. Her mind was on Alex and, as she lay there on her back, her arm across her forehead, her mind drifted back to the day that they first had met.
She was seven years old when she came to live in the cottage on the grounds of Standish Court. She had come in June and Alex had been home from Eton. She remembered the confusion of the move, the anguished realization that her father was going far away and the pain of separation from the pony she had been riding at their last house. He had belonged to the local squire, who had allowed Diana to ride him as his son had outgrown him.
She had been immensely intimidated by the move. What was going to happen to her in such a place? At her old home she had had her father, her dog, her mother and her pony. Here, at Standish, there was only Mama, as her dog had died a few months previously. And Mama kept telling her how nice she must be to Lord and Lady Standish for letting them stay in this cottage.
It was a nice cottage, much larger and airier than their last house, but just down the road was the immenseness of Standish Court, where lived this aristocratic family to whom she had to be so grateful.
She remembered the first afternoon they were invited to take tea at Standish. Mama had dressed her in her best dress and they had waited for the trap that the countess was sending to pick them up. They were driven to the palace—for that is what it looked like to Diana—and taken through fabulous rooms hung with mirrors and paintings and decorated with classical statues, to a large sitting room where Lady Standish waited for them, with her five-year-old daughter at her side.
Diana had watched as Mama and Lady Standish exchanged hugs and kisses. Then Lady Standish had bent to her. “And this is Diana,” she said. “What a pretty girl you are. I am your mother’s cousin, Amelia. Would you like to give me a kiss?”
Obediently, Diana kissed the soft cheek of her mother’s cousin.
“And this is your cousin, Sally.”
Sally was a blue-eyed, blond-haired cherub. She smiled at Diana. “Hello,” she said.
“Hello,” Diana replied.
Everyone settled down. The tea tray was brought, and lemonade for Sally and Diana.
Lady Standish said apologetically, “Alex was supposed to be here. I can’t imagine what is keeping him.”
On that note, the door opened and a boy dressed in riding clothes came in. He had black hair and sky-blue eyes and he said politely to his mother, “I’m sorry I’m late, Mama. I got delayed in the stable.”
Lady Standish sighed. “You’re always in the stable, Alex. Can’t you find something else to do?”
“Nothing that I like as much,” he said.
Diana was immediately drawn to the boy. “Do you have a lot of horses in your stable?” she asked him.
He looked at her. “Yes,” he said.
How wonderful, she thought.
“If you need any help exercising them, I’d be happy to help,” she said. “I used to exercise the squire’s son’s pony when we lived at home.”
He looked her up and down. “How old are you?”
“I’m almost eight. And I can ride anything.”
The boy’s black eyebrows shot up. “I doubt that.”
“I can!” she shot back. “The squire used to say that I was the best natural rider he’d ever seen!”
“Diana,” her mother chided gently. “Don’t brag, darling. It’s not becoming.”
“It’s not bragging, it’s true,” she insisted. “He did say that, Mama. Truly he did.”
The boy’s blue eyes narrowed. “Well, we’ll see about that,” he said.
“You can ride my pony, Diana,” Sally said. “He is very sweet.”
Diana gave Sally a radiant smile. “Thank you.”
After that the two ladies talked and the children drank their lemonade and ate cake from the tea tray. Then a big man with graying black hair and ordinary blue eyes came into the room.
That must be the earl, Diana thought.
“My lord,” Lady Standish said with pleasure. “I wasn’t sure you would be able to join us.”
He smiled. “Of course I wanted to be here to greet Mrs. Sherwood and her daughter. We are very glad to have you at Standish, ma’am.”
Diana’s mother’s cheeks were flushed. “Thank you, my lord. I cannot tell you how much we appreciate your generosity.”
“Not at all,” he said. “The cottage was just lying there empty. Happy to have it used.”
Diana looked at the earl curiously. When it came her turn to be introduced, she curtseyed and smiled at the large man who was suddenly so important in her life. He smiled back and called her a very pretty little girl. People had been calling Diana a very pretty little girl ever since she could remember, so it made little impression on her. She looked from the earl to his son. Alex looked like his father, except for his extraordinary eye color.
Diana was conscious of Alex looking at her and she looked boldly back. She had every intention of pushing him to allow her to ride Sally’s pony.
When the tea was over, and the Sherwoods stood to leave, Diana went over to Alex and asked, “When can I come to ride the pony?”
He stared down at her. “Come tomorrow morning. We’ll go for a ride together so I can see how brilliant you are.” There was a definite sarcastic note in his voice.
The following morning Diana rose early and dressed in her riding habit, which consisted of a brown divided skirt and an old brown jacket. She fastened her hair at the nape of her neck and set off for Standish on foot. It was only a little under two miles and she walked it in good time. When she reached the stable yard Alex was just coming in riding a solid-looking chestnut gelding. Diana’s face fell.
“I thought you said we would go riding together today!” she accused him.
“How did you get here?” he asked.
“I walked.”
He looked at her feet. “In your boots?”
“Yes.”
He looked her up and down, taking in her divided skirt. “Do you ride astride?”
“Yes. The squire’s groom who taught me said it would be safer for me to learn that way.”
“All right,” he said briskly. “We’ll give you a chance.” He turned to one of the grooms. “Danny, bring out Lady Sarah’s pony. And don’t put a sidesaddle on him.”
Diana could feel her heart begin to beat harder. She had to impress this boy so he would allow her to ride his horses. Her heart fell when a very small, thick-bodied pony was led out of the stable. “He’s so little,” she said involuntarily.
“Sally is little,” Alex said.
Diana bit her lip and didn’t say anything else. She didn’t think it was going to be much fun riding Sally’s pony.
“His name is Moses,” Alex said. “Come along over to the riding ring so I can judge your riding style.”
Diana followed him beyond the stable to an enclosed ring with a smooth dirt surface. Alex opened the gate and led the pony in. Diana followed.
“Do you need help getting into the saddle?” he asked.
She cast him a scornful look. “No.” She put her foot in the stirrup and swung up. There wasn’t very far to go. The squire’s pony had been a full hand taller than Moses.
“Just ride him around the rail and let me see how you do,” Alex said. She cast him a disgusted look. How was she supposed to show her riding skills on a pony that was much too small for her?
She put the pony on the rail and closed her legs to send him forward. He ambled off. Diana frowned and pressed her legs harder. He went from an amble into a walk. They went around the enclosure once and Diana said to Alex, “I need a whip.”
He got her one. She squeezed her legs again and applied the whip smartly behind her leg. The pony broke into a trot. She pushed him some more. After two more rounds she had him trotting forward. In another round she had him going before her leg.
“Stop!” Alex called.
Obediently, she halted, then walked over to where he was standing outside the fence. He was grinning. “I’ve never seen that pony move so fast.”
“He certainly doesn’t want to move,” Diana returned. “The squire’s pony was a speed demon compared with this one.”
“Sally likes him. He’s a good beginner pony. He will just follow along when we go out on the trails and she never has to worry about him doing something stupid.”
“Doing something stupid would take too much energy,” Diana said scornfully.
“You’re a good rider,” Alex said. “But you’re too small to ride our horses. You’d be like a fly on top of them. You have no body or legs to hold them.”
Diana’s heart sank. She wasn’t going to be able to ride. She looked at him, her eyes tragic.
“There’s my old pony,” he offered. “I talked Papa into keeping him for Sally to grow into, but he’s been doing nothing ever since I got my new horse. He might be a bit of a handful.”
Her eyes sparkled. “I won’t mind that. I’ll straighten him out.”
“Let me ride him for a few days, to get the kinks out of him. Then we’ll try you on him.”
“What’s his name?” Diana asked eagerly.
“Jonathan. He’s a grand pony. I was sorry when I outgrew him.”
Diana smiled. “Thank you, Alex. If I couldn’t ride I think I would just wither away and die.”
He looked back at her. “It means that much to you?”
“Yes.”
He smiled. “You’re a great girl, Diana. I think we’re going to get along just fine.”
Diana flung her arm off her forehead and rolled over on her side. What was the point of going over old times? The past was the past. It was true that she and Alex had become companions, riding out together every morning. He had friends in the neighborhood, but he didn’t despise her company when he had nothing else to do.
She had adored him. He was two years older than she, and a boy. She’d looked up to him and admired him and felt honored whenever he sought out her company. Sally, at five, was too young for her. She’d dreaded the day when he would be going back to school.
I fell in love with him when I was seven years old, she thought now as she lay restless in her bed. It wasn’t fair. He was the only friend I had. I didn’t have a chance.
Well my eyes are opened now. I might have loved him, but he didn’t love me. Not really. If he had truly loved me he never would have left me to go into the army.
She curled up into a ball and finally she fell asleep.
The next two weeks were busy as Lady Standish made ready to move her household to London. True to his word, Alex retired William, who was not at all adverse to the idea of being the master of his own time in a snug little cottage close to a good fishing stream, and Alex found a younger replacement, an ex-soldier who had been wounded and retired from the Peninsula army. Thomas lacked the smooth, finished manners of their old coachman, but he was an excellent driver.
The butler, Henrys, would be coming with them to London, as would the cook, Lady Standish’s personal maid, the young maid who helped to look after Sally, and Alex’s valet, who had come back from the Peninsula with him. As Alex was bringing three riding horses as well as the carriage horses, several grooms would be accompanying them as well. Margaret and Maria were staying at home with their governess, Lady Standish not wanting the children underfoot while she was so preoccupied.
The Sherwoods had far fewer encumbrances than did the Devizes. In fact, they had only one trunk that was filled with all their clothes.
On the morning that they started out for London, there were five carriages—two for the family plus three hired vehicles to carry the servants and the luggage. Alex drove his father’s phaeton, an open, high-wheeled carriage with room for two or three people on the front seat. He had asked Diana if she would like to ride with him, but she had told him to take Sally.
“She gets sick if she travels for too long inside a carriage. She will do better in the phaeton,” she said. “I, on the other hand, prefer to ride in the comfort of the carriage.”
He had acquiesced and so had the chance to spend several hours in the sole company of his sister. She had written to him faithfully during the three years that he was in the Peninsula and had been his chief source of information about Diana. He thought he would use this chance to pump her for as much information as he could get about her best friend.
“Is Mama footing the bill for Dee’s come-out?” he asked bluntly after they had finished driving through the village.
“Of course,” Sally said. “There is no way Cousin Louisa could afford such a thing herself. Papa wouldn’t have done it. He liked Diana, but he felt he was doing enough by housing her and her mother. But Mama and Cousin Louisa are very close—and have become even closer since Papa died.”
“So it was Mama’s idea to bring Diana out with you.”
“Actually it was my idea,” Sally said. She tied her bonnet a little more tightly against the wind. “It will be much more fun for me if Diana is with me—she has a way of making the world around her seem brighter, more exciting. And she’s not a bit shy—like I am.”
“It was nice of you, Sal,” he said soberly. “Not every girl would want to be compared to Diana.” He turned his head and smiled at her. “But you have turned into a very beautiful girl, yourself.”
Sally blushed. “Thank you, Alex. My only real worry is that Mama said that Diana’s lack of money would limit the number of men who would ask for her.”
Alex felt a little relieved by this assessment. The fewer rivals he had, the better.
Sally shook her head. “I don’t agree with Mama, though. I think Diana has a very good chance of catching a rich man who won’t need her money. She is so very beautiful, you know. And besides that, she’s fun.”
Alex frowned.
“You used to be such good friends,” Sally continued. “Then you went off to war and she hardly mentioned your name the whole time you were gone. And now that you’re home, you still don’t talk.”
“She was angry with me for joining the army,” Alex said stiffly. He was staring straight ahead, over his horses’ backs. “I hardly think I should be punished for serving my country.”
“I think it’s because of her father,” Sally mused. “She never forgave him for going away and leaving her and her mother. Life hasn’t been easy for them, Alex. If it wasn’t for Mama, I don’t know what would have become of them.”
“He was a soldier,” Alex said. “He had to follow orders.”
“Yes. That’s precisely why Diana doesn’t like soldiers.” She put a brief hand on his knee. “Give her time, Alex. She’ll get over her anger once she gets used to having you around again.”
“Hmmph,” Alex said.
“I have to confess that I’m a little nervous about this come-out business,” Sally said.
They were crossing over a wooden bridge and the horses’ hooves thudded hollowly on the boards. “Why?” he said with surprise. “You’ll be one of the belles of the season, Sal. You’re so pretty and you’re the daughter—well, I suppose you’re now the sister—of the Earl of Standish. The Devizes are one of the best families in the country. Men will be lining up to marry you.”
“But what if I don’t love anybody, Alex? I don’t want to get married just for the sake of getting married. I want to marry a man I love!”
He tapped one of the horses lightly on the flank to encourage him to move up. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” he said. “No one will try to push you into a marriage you don’t like, Sal. If you don’t meet anybody this season, then you can come back next year and try again.”
She gave him a smile of relief. “I’m glad to hear you say that,” she said. “Mama sounds so determined to push me off…”
“All mothers want brilliant matches for their daughters. But if you want to hold out for love, you do that, Sal.”
She straightened her shoulders. “I will,” she said.
Five
Diana had never been to London, and she stared out the window as the carriage rolled along the busy streets of the nation’s capital. There was so much traffic! And noise! And dirt! She was used to her quiet little corner of Berkshire; London was a big change.
The Devizes’ London residence was a solid, substantial house made of brown brick and red dressing, like many of the other houses on the fashionable Grosvenor Square. The family and servants piled out of the coaches and phaeton and Diana stretched her legs and her back as she stood on the pavement outside the front door of the house. She was not accustomed to sitting still for such a long period of time and she felt like taking a nice brisk walk to loosen up her muscles. But the rest of the family was already moving toward the front door, and she followed.
Alex, Lady Standish, Sally, Mrs. Sherwood and Diana all trooped into the green marble entrance hall. The housekeeper came running to welcome Lady Standish and while the two women were talking, Diana peered into a small anteroom set off by round columns that opened off the right side of the entrance hall. The floor of the anteroom was done in black and white squares of marble and there was a portrait of a man in a white wig hung over the alabaster fireplace.
Henrys now came in the front door and Lady Standish presented the butler to Mrs. Daughtry, the housekeeper, as if she was presenting royalty. Henrys was followed by the cook, Monsieur Lapierre, who was presented as if he were God.
Mrs. Daughtry volunteered to show Henrys and Lapierre to their respective domains but Lady Standish said that the family would establish themselves without assistance.
“Let us all go to our bedrooms first,” Lady Standish said. “I think we need to freshen up.”
“Good idea, Mama,” Alex said, and Diana found herself following everyone down the passage to the great curving staircase. The staircase was painted white, with a polished wood railing, and in the roof above the third story was a large window, which allowed for natural illumination during the day.
The bedrooms were on the third floor, except for the master bedroom suite. When they had reached the second floor, Lady Standish said, “Alex, you should have the earl’s bedroom now.”
He looked a little uncomfortable. “It is not necessary for you to vacate it, Mama,” he said. “I don’t want to push you out of your room.”
“No, I want you to have it,” she insisted. “It is the right thing to do and I shall be perfectly happy in the yellow bedroom. It has a dressing room attached and is exceedingly comfortable.”
He stood for a moment looking at her and frowning.
“I mean it,” Lady Standish said firmly. “You must take your proper place both in the family and in society. The master bedroom is yours.”
“Well…” Alex said slowly. “If you are sure.”
“I am very sure.”
Alex nodded and went off through the second-floor drawing room while the rest of them climbed the stairs to the third floor. Lady Standish opened the first door that was on their left and said to Diana, “This will be your room, dear. Servants will be coming shortly with water for you to wash up.”
“Thank you, Cousin Amelia,” Diana said, and walked into the largest bedroom she had ever occupied. It had blue-painted walls, a white stucco fireplace and a blue Turkish rug on the floor. The bed was large and hung with blue draperies, and a comfortable-looking upholstered chair was pulled up in front of the fireplace. There were two windows set high in the walls so they could let light in over the top of the building next door.
Diana thought of her closet-size bedroom at home. My goodness, but she had come up in the world!
She was still staring around her when a knock came at the door and her mother came in. “I am right next door,” she said. “Aren’t these beautiful rooms?”
“They’re wonderful,” Diana said. “This one even has its own watercloset!”
“So does mine,” Mrs. Sherwood said with a smile.
Diana sat on the bed. “This almost seems too good to be true. Cousin Amelia is like a fairy godmother, doing this for me.”
Mrs. Sherwood went over to look at a pretty china statue of a shepherdess that reposed on a table along the wall. “It is amazingly generous of her,” she agreed. “But then she has always been so good to us.”
“She’s never spent so much money on us before.” Diana looked at her mother, who was still examining the delicate figurine. “It’s really Alex’s money she’s using, isn’t it?” she said abruptly. “If the earl was alive, she wouldn’t be doing this.”
Mrs. Sherwood turned to face her daughter. “I don’t know where the money is coming from, my love. But if it is Alex’s, he certainly has put forward no objections.”
Diana’s jaw set. “I hate to be beholden to Alex.”
Mrs. Sherwood’s pretty face became suddenly somber. “Perhaps he thinks he owes you something, darling,” she said. “And perhaps he does.”
Diana’s eyes flashed and color stained the porcelain skin over her cheekbones. “If I was starving, I wouldn’t take a scrap of bread from Alex,” she declared.
Mrs. Sherwood came over to sit next to her daughter on the bed. “Don’t be foolish, darling. This come-out is a godsend for you. Particularly since you turned down all the nice men who offered for you at home.”
Diana scowled. “I didn’t love any of them, Mama.”
“Diana…” Mrs. Sherwood put her hand up and turned her daughter’s face toward her. “I hope you are not still setting your heart on Alex.”
Diana pulled her face away and jumped up from the bed. She whirled to face her mother. “Didn’t you just hear me, Mama? I wouldn’t take Alex if he were the last man left alive on this earth. Believe me, I have no desire to become the Countess of Standish.”
“I am glad to hear that,” Mrs. Sherwood said quietly. “But if he is financing our trip to London, then it behooves us both to be nice to him. I want you to make a good marriage, darling. I don’t want you to have to spend your life hanging on the sleeve of a generous relative. I want to see you with your husband and children at your side. I don’t want you to be alone in life. I want you to be happy.”
“Oh Mama.” Diana came back to the bed and hugged her mother, pressing her cheek against her mother’s hair. “You have had so little in your life. Papa left us when I was so young—why you have practically been a widow for all your life.”
Mrs. Sherwood’s arms came up to hold Diana. “He had no choice, darling. He had to go where he could get advancement. We had no money beyond his officer’s salary.”
The two women stayed like that for a few moments, and then Diana stepped back. Diana said, “And now we have no money beyond his pension.”
Mrs. Sherwood looked up at her daughter. “You have been given a wonderful opportunity to make a good match, darling. Don’t alienate Alex and throw it away. Please.”
Diana drew a deep breath. “All right, Mama. I promise I will be nice to Alex.”
“Thank you, dear.”
Diana sat on the bed, staring into space long after her mother had left the room.
It had been late in the afternoon when the Standish party arrived, and after dinner everyone stayed at home except Alex. “Papa was a member of Brooks, and I thought I’d have a look in and see what I have to do to establish my credentials,” he said. Brooks was the club most often patronized by the aristocrats of the Whig party, and the Standishes had always been Whigs.
Lady Standish frowned. “A great deal of gambling goes on at Brooks,” she warned her son. “Several men have lost their entire fortunes at play there.”
He smiled at her. “Don’t worry, Mama. I am not stupid enough to do that.”
“I know you aren’t, Alex. But be careful, please.”
Alex knew that his grandfather had almost beggared his family with gambling and consequently Lady Standish had a deep-rooted fear of gaming of any kind.
“I’ll be careful,” he promised. “And my presence will spread the word that you ladies are in town. You want invitations, don’t you?”
Lady Standish agreed that they did, and Alex went off.
Diana was so excited to be in London that she didn’t expect to sleep well, but she went right off. When she woke the sun was shining in her window. A young maid came in with a cup of hot chocolate for her to drink while she was getting dressed.
“Thank you,” Diana said. The girl reminded her of a kitten, her brow was wide and her face tapered to a small, pointed chin. “What is your name?”
“Nancy, miss,” the young girl replied.
“It is nice to meet you, Nancy,” Diana said. “Are you one of the new hires?”
“Yes, miss. I’m just come to Lunnon from Derbyshire.”
“This must be a big change for you. I know it’s a big change for me to come from the country to the city.”
“That it is, miss,” the girl agreed.
“Well, I wish you good fortune in your new life,” Diana said.
“Thank you, miss.” The maid gave a big smile, which showed pretty white teeth.
She left and Diana got on with the business of dressing for the day.
The Standish women spent the entire day shopping. Diana had a wonderful time. She was fitted for morning dresses, driving dresses, a riding habit and evening gowns. Lady Standish ordered her a new pelisse, as the weather was still chilly in April. Sally got a similar wardrobe, and they both picked out dresses to be altered by the afternoon, so they could go driving in the park.
Diana had a moment of unease when she realized the amount of Alex’s money that Lady Standish had just spent on her, but she pushed the thought aside firmly. I am going to have fun, she told herself. I’m not going to spoil things for myself by worrying about Alex’s money. So when the time came to dress for their ride in the park, her spirits were high and her thoughts were eager.
Hyde Park was the place to be at about five o’clock in the afternoon during the Season. Most of the ton regularly turned out in their best riding and driving gear and took the path along the Serpentine to see and to be seen. Alex had volunteered to drive Diana and Sally and they both proudly wore the dresses they had purchased that morning. Diana’s was rust-colored, with a short cape and buttons all down the front. Over her coppery curls she wore a small brown hat, which tilted to one side, almost over her eye and on her feet she wore low leather boots. When her cousin knocked at her door to see if she was ready, Sally was a vision in blue, with a matching bonnet tied under her chin.
The girls complimented each other and together went downstairs to meet Alex. He was wearing a caped driving coat that made his shoulders look very wide. Diana noticed that his hair had been cut. His neck looked tanned and strong.
He glanced from his sister to Diana and said, “You ladies look beautiful.”
He was speaking to them both, but looking at her. Diana said a little self-consciously, “It must be our new clothes.”
“They are very becoming,” he said.
For the briefest of moments their eyes met and held, then Diana looked away. “Is the carriage ready?” she asked.
“Yes, it is right outside,” Alex responded and they all turned toward the front door. The park was filled with fashionable carriages and well-turned-out men and women on horseback. The horses were sleek and shiny and all of the carriages sparkled with cleanliness. Everyone was dressed in the height of elegance: the men wore immaculate buff breeches and polished riding boots with black or brown riding or driving coats; the women’s outfits were more varied: from curricle dresses and pelisses, to the kind of full-skirted riding habits that Lady Standish had ordered for Diana and Sally earlier that day.
It was an incomparably rich-looking scene, very different from the one in Berkshire that Diana was accustomed to. Certainly none of her suitors from home could match the immaculate and fashionable gentlemen who were gathered in the park today.
She glanced at Alex out of the corner of her eye. He was the handsomest man she had seen so far.
He fits in here, she thought. And so does Sally. But me? I’m not in the same class with these people.
A feeling of unease swept through her as she looked at the brilliant scene around her. Had she done the right thing in coming to London? At home everyone knew her situation and was comfortable with it. But what would all of these elegant people think if they knew that her bedroom was the size of a closet and that if it wasn’t for the generosity of her mother’s cousin they probably wouldn’t have meat on their table more than once a week.
She was a little more silent than usual as they drove along the path, letting Sally and Alex do most of the talking. A curricle pulled up next to them and saluted Alex. He stopped.
“See you are taking the ladies for a spin, eh Standish?” the fashionable gentleman driving the curricle said.
“Yes, I am,” Alex replied courteously. “Lord and Lady Sudbury, allow me to introduce my sister, Lady Sarah, and my cousin, Miss Diana Sherwood.”
“So lovely to meet you,” the lady said in nasal, aristocratic tones. “We knew your father well,” she said to Sally. “How is your dear mother doing?”
“She is well,” Sally said. “She is back at Standish House now, resting.”
The lady’s small, curious eyes turned to Diana. “I do not believe I know the Sherwoods,” she said.
Alex answered before Diana could speak, “Mrs. Sherwood is my mother’s first cousin, and the two of them are as close as sisters, as are Sally and Diana. We all grew up together at Standish Court, you know.”
“How cozy.” Lady Sudbury’s gaze raked Diana from her head to her feet. “Is this your first visit to London, Miss Sherwood?”
“Yes,” Diana replied in a composed voice.
“Diana and I are here to make our come-outs,” Sally said pleasantly. “Mama is planning to hold a big ball in a few weeks. I’m sure you will be getting invitations.”
“How lovely.” Lady Sudbury’s eyes returned to Diana. “And I suppose I shall see you girls at Almack’s?”
“I certainly hope so,” Sally said brightly.
Lord Sudbury spoke for the first time, “Let’s get going Clarissa. I don’t like to keep the horses standing for long.”
“Of course.” Lady Sudbury shared a restrained smile among the three of them. “Au revoir,” she said.
There was a little silence as they once more drove along the crowded pathway. Diana had gotten a distinct impression that her cousins had been trying to protect her, and it made her uneasy. Alex had definitely implied that she lived at Standish Court. All of her worry about not being accepted came rushing back.
“I didn’t particularly care for Lady Sudbury,” Sally, who was usually so kind to everyone, said.
“He’s something in the government, I believe,” Alex said.
“She seemed—cold, somehow.”
“This isn’t the country, Sal,” Alex said. “You and Dee are going to have to get accustomed to the fact that not everyone in London is warm and friendly, the way they are at home. People here are always jockeying for position in society. For example, perhaps Mama was not planning to invite the Sudburys to her ball. Now you have forced her into it.”
Sally protested. “She made it sound as if she and Mama and Papa were great friends.”
Alex deftly steered them past another carriage. “Perhaps they were, perhaps they weren’t,” he said.
“How do you know so much about London society?” Diana suddenly demanded.
He gave her a quick look. “I may never have been to London for the Season, but remember I went to Eton with the sons of all these people—and I served on Wellington’s staff with a number of others. I know how they tick.”
His words made Diana even more nervous. If position was what was important to these high-fashion people, then what kind of a reception was she going to get? She knew she was attractive enough, and she knew that her beauty had been responsible for all of the marriage offers she had received at home. But would beauty be enough in a society like this one?
She said as much to her mother that evening, when she went into her bedroom to say good-night.
“Perhaps this venture was a mistake, Mama,” she said. “Perhaps we should have stayed at home. What if no one asks me to dance at any of these balls? I shall be humiliated.”
“That won’t happen,” Mrs. Sherwood said definitely. “When the young men get a look at you, you will have partners. Don’t worry about that, my love.”
“Well…perhaps I will have partners, but will anyone want to marry me? I am only an army officer’s daughter. I have no money, no status…”
“Stop worrying, Diana,” her mother chided. “You are a very beautiful young woman. You will find a husband, I’m certain of it.” She kissed Diana’s cheek. “Now get some sleep. I will see you in the morning.”
Diana gave her mother a shadowy smile and went on back to her own room. She wasn’t sure she was going to like London at all.
Six
The following morning Lady Standish took Sally, Diana and Mrs. Sherwood to visit Lady Jersey, an old friend from childhood with whom she had maintained a correspondence over the years. Lady Jersey was one of the patronesses of Almack’s—the assembly rooms where young ladies went in search of husbands. Not to be admitted to Almack’s was a social blot that was almost insurmountable.
Diana was very nervous about the visit. There was no doubt that Sally would be admitted to Almack’s, but she was not so sure about herself.
Diana had grown up in a small society where she had liked everybody and everybody had liked her. She had had an intense relationship with Alex when she was very young and after he had left she had never paid very close attention to any of the other men who would have liked to marry her. She was still consumed with Alex—only this time her emotion was anger, not love.
Now she was in London, a world where for the first time she sensed the vulnerability of her social status. No one at home had minded that she and her mother had little money. They were part of the Standish family, and that was enough. She had blithely thought that things would be the same in London, but their short drive in the park yesterday had left her in doubt.
So it was with some trepidation that she followed Lady Standish and Sally into the drawing room of Lady Jersey, one of the most influential women in all of London society.
Diana was dressed correctly, in a pretty green muslin dress, with a square-cut neck and empire waistline. Sally was dressed in similar fashion, although her dress was blue. Diana knew she looked all right, she just didn’t feel that way.
Lady Jersey rose to greet Lady Standish and the two women embraced. After they had exchanged a few words, Lady Standish presented Mrs. Sherwood and the two girls.
“My word,” Lady Jersey said, “you have two beauties here, Amelia.”
Lady Standish smiled. “Thank you, Sally,” she said.
“Please, be seated,” Lady Jersey said, gesturing them all to the chairs that were gathered around the marble fireplace in a room that was decorated in the Chinese style.
It was a morning Diana never forgot. In a politely ruthless manner, Lady Jersey ascertained that Mrs. Sherwood was the widow of a mere colonel who had been killed in the Peninsula and that she had no money. She also ascertained that Lady Standish was determined to give Diana a Season along with Sally.
“The two girls are like sisters. Sally wants to have Diana as her companion,” Lady Standish said.
“Does Diana have a dowry at all?” Lady Jersey asked.
Mrs. Sherwood answered, “Unfortunately, no.”
“Hmm.” Lady Jersey frowned.
“Perhaps Alex would give some money for a dowry….” Lady Standish said tentatively.
“I don’t want anything from Alex,” Diana returned quickly. “If I cannot be accepted as myself, then I will just go home.”
Lady Jersey looked at her. “You are an extremely beautiful girl, Miss Sherwood. But I am certain that you know that.”
Diana didn’t reply.
“Please give her a voucher,” Lady Standish said. “Diana is gently if not nobly born. She certainly will not disgrace you, Sally.”
There was a pause, then Lady Jersey shrugged. “Well, why not? I cannot guarantee that you will get an offer of marriage, Miss Sherwood, but one never knows. Men have been known to make fools of themselves over a pretty face before. And being brought up at Standish Court is certainly a recommendation.”
Diana had not exactly been brought up at Standish Court, but no one corrected her.
“So you will give the Sherwoods vouchers to Almack’s, Sally?” Lady Standish asked.
“I could hardly refuse you, Amelia, now could I? We have been friends for too long. Yes, I will give the Sherwoods vouchers for Almack’s.”
Lady Standish was jubilant as they got into the coach outside Lady Jersey’s house. “You probably don’t appreciate how important this is, Diana, but it is tremendously important. Once you have been given the approval of the patronesses of Almack’s, then all of society is open to you.”
“It will be such fun, Diana,” Sally enthused.
“Yes,” Diana said. “I’m sure it will be.” But she wasn’t sure at all anymore.
The ladies stopped at Hookam’s Library to pick up some books to read before they returned to Grosvenor Square. Diana immediately went up to her room, looked around for her dog and remembered that he had been left at home. She went to the chair by the fireplace, sat down and cried.
“Oh, Freddie, how could I have left you at home? I miss you so much.” Diana’s spaniel had been the runt of the litter, and the earl had given him to her when nobody else wanted him.
But everyone had told her that he would be better in the country, that there was no place for him to run free in London, that she would be too busy to even miss him.
But she did miss him. She needed him now, needed his unconditional, adoring love. “No one will ever love me like you do, Freddie,” she sniffled into her handkerchief.
I wish we were all young again. I wish it was like it was before Alex left to go into the army. I was so happy then. Will I ever be happy like that again?
It seemed to her that she had never truly been happy since Alex had left; but now that he was back, she felt even worse, knowing that she could never be that way with him again.
I have to put Alex behind me, she thought. I have to look ahead. Surely there is some man who can make me happy, who will be able to give me the stable home that I need so badly.
A knock came upon her door. “Diana?” Sally’s voice called. “May I come in?”
“Just a moment,” Diana said, as she scrubbed at the tears on her face. She took a deep breath before she bade her friend to enter her room.
At dinner that evening, Alex said, “Would you like to take the horses for a gallop in the park tomorrow morning, Dee?”
Her whole face lit up. “I should love to.”
“What horse will you be riding?” Mrs. Sherwood asked a little nervously.
“Monty,” Diana said.
Mrs. Sherwood looked at Alex. “Has Monty ever been out of the country? You have to walk through the streets of London before you get to the park.”
“I’ll look after Dee, Cousin Louisa,” Alex said.
“How about Bart?” Diana asked. “Is he accustomed to traffic?”
“Bart’s accustomed to bullets firing all around him,” Alex returned. “I think he can handle the London streets.”
Mrs. Sherwood looked worried, but she didn’t say anything else.
It was seven in the morning when Diana, dressed in her old riding habit, went out to the stables to meet Alex. He was wearing a russet-colored riding coat and brown leather breeches—country clothes. The air was cool, with a slight wind blowing. Their two horses were standing on the cobblestones of the stable yard, all saddled and ready to go.
Diana felt as if a weight had lifted from her chest. She was going to ride again. Everything always looked better to her from the back of a horse. She actually grinned at Alex. “I hope you know how to get to the park, because I certainly don’t.”
“I drove you there the other day, remember?”
“Oh, that’s right. Well, shall we get started?”
“I’ll give you a leg up,” he said, cupping his hands so she could put her foot into his gloved brace. In a moment she was in the sidesaddle, crooking her leg around the horn and gathering the reins into her competent hands.
It was a short walk from Grosvenor Square to the Cumberland Gate entrance to Hyde Park, but London was amazingly busy for such an early hour.
Wagons piled high with fruits and vegetables lumbered through town on their way to the Covent Garden market; fishmongers carried their purchases from the wharves to their various shops; and haunches of freshly slaughtered animals bled through the bottoms of wicker baskets as they were driven by cart to the butcher shops. The large number of people who lived in London had to be fed, and this was the hour at which their food was moved.
Monty sidled a little at all the traffic and threw his head about, but Diana spoke soothingly to him. He had been on the roads at home, of course, but not very frequently. Mostly Diana had ridden him through the many wide and well-kept rides that cut through Standish Park.
As they crossed the main street to get into the park, a particularly noisy wagon came along and Monty bucked in protest.
“Are you all right?” Alex asked as Diana urged Monty forward, away from the noise.
“We’re fine,” she answered calmly. “He’s just a bit worried by these new surroundings.”
They entered into the welcome greenness of the park and when they reached the path along the lake, Diana was delighted to see that it was empty.
“Marvelous,” she said. “No one’s here.”
“How about a good gallop to wake them up?” Alex asked.
She was gone before he finished his question.
He caught her up in a moment, and the two horses thundered along, side-by-side, under the greening oaks. To Diana, it felt glorious. The feel of Monty under her was so familiar, and it was familiar, too, to look out of the side of her eye and see Alex galloping beside her. They had always ridden out early; both of them liked the fresh morning air.
When Diana felt Monty start to slow, she sat back a little and let him come down to a canter. Alex did the same. From the canter they dropped to a trot, then to a walk. They looked at each other and smiled.
“That felt grand,” Diana said.
He nodded. “It’s been a long time since we rode together, Dee.”
Some of her good mood vanished. Whose fault was that? she thought.
Alex patted the neck of his big black horse. “Damn, but I love this horse,” he said.
Diana regarded Bart. “He’s splendid,” she agreed. “I imagine a cavalryman becomes very attached to his horse.”
“They can be the difference between life and death to a man sometimes.” His black hair had tumbled forward over his forehead and his light blue eyes were serious.
He looked the same as when he left, yet he also looked different. He was bigger now; his shoulders were wider, his chest broader and there were strong muscles under the tight-fitting riding breeches that he wore. He had gone away a boy and come back a man.
She heard herself saying, “I’m nervous about being introduced into London society.”
“You shouldn’t be,” he replied. “You’re under the wing of my mother. Everything should go very smoothly for you.”
She confided her deepest fear. “We’re going to Almack’s tonight. What if no one dances with me?”
“Don’t worry about that,” he assured her. “Haven’t men wanted to dance with you all your life?”
“But that was in the country, where people knew me.”
“Believe me, I don’t think you’ll have any problem, but if you do I’ll round up some men to dance with you. Don’t worry, you won’t be left sitting with the chaperones.”
She gave him a smile. “Thank you, Alex. It’s just…I never expected to feel so out of my depth.” Tears stung behind her eyes. “And I miss Freddie. I should never have left him home.”
“I can send for him if it’s that important to you.”
Her face lit to radiance. “Can you? Would that not be too much trouble?”
“Not at all. I’ll send the curricle for him. We’ll have him here in London for you in no time.”
“It won’t be too confining for him, will it? I can walk him in the park every day.”
“He’ll be fine. The horses are more cooped up than they’re accustomed to as well. That’s why it’s good for us to get them out in the morning for a gallop.”
She nodded.
His voice deepened. “For how many years have the two of us ridden together in the morning, Dee?”
“Ever since we were children.” Her voice hardened. “Until you went away.”
They were walking side-by-side on a loose rein, the horses’ heads swinging comfortably as they went along. A slight breeze ruffled the hair on Alex’s forehead. “I had to go, Dee,” he said earnestly. “I know you don’t understand, and I know I can’t really expect you to forgive me, but it was just something in me that I couldn’t deny. I needed to go. I had wanted to be a soldier for all of my life, and then my father finally agreed…I just couldn’t pass up the chance.”
“Yes,” she said tightly. “You made your choice, Alex. I understood that very well.”
“I didn’t mean to leave you forever. I told you I would come back when the war was over. I told you I would marry you.”
She stared straight ahead, between Monty’s small, pointed ears. “You could have come back in a wooden box, like my father. What good would that have been to me?”
“I wouldn’t have been much good to you with my heart always someplace else. You knew that. That’s why you told me to go.”
She turned to look at him. “Was it as glorious as you thought it was going to be, Alex? Did you love being a soldier?”
She thought she saw a shadow pass over his face. “I wouldn’t exactly call it glorious,” he said. She could hear that he was trying to speak lightly. “It was a pretty dirty job at times. But it was a good cause, and we were successful. What happened in the Peninsula had a lot to do with Napoleon’s downfall.”
It sounded to Diana as if Alex had not been as thrilled with life as a soldier as he had expected to be. Perversely, this made her glad.
“I expect being in a battle wasn’t much fun,” she said.
“No.” His voice was clipped.
They walked in silence for a while. Then Alex turned to her. “Dee, is it really too late for us? Can’t we start over again? I know you have a right to be angry with me. But I love you. I have always loved you. I don’t want you to marry another man, I want you to marry me. Will you at least consider that?”
She returned his look, her brown eyes grave in her exquisite face. “It’s too late,” she said. “The feelings I had for you are gone.”
His mouth set in a grim line. “I don’t believe that. I can’t believe it.”
A bird flew close to Monty’s head and he sidled a little. “It’s true,” she lied. “Something in me died when you left, Alex. For a long time I was very angry with you, but now that you’re back even my anger is gone. We’re finished. That’s all there is to it. I’m sorry.”
He said, “Get off that horse and kiss me, Dee, and then tell me you have no feelings left for me.”
She raised her chin and stared ahead. “I have no intention of kissing you! You lost your rights to my kisses a long time ago.” She fought to compose herself. “We might start to trot. The horses have caught their breath.”
She started Monty going briskly forward, eager to end their conversation. After a moment, Alex followed.
Seven
Diana parted with Alex in the stable yard and went up to the house. Her mother, Lady Standish and Sally were at breakfast and she joined them. Their conversation revolved around what they would do today and about the coming evening at Almack’s. Shortly after, Alex came in. Diana ate her breakfast and never looked at him.
After breakfast, Diana went up to her room to change out of her riding clothes. She was upset about her discussion with Alex and after she took off her boots and her habit, she put on a wrapper and went to lie on the bed, staring up at the blue draperies that surrounded her.
He wanted to marry her. In so many ways, that would be the perfect solution to her future. To live at Standish Court which she loved so much…to raise her children there…
But she couldn’t marry him. She carried too much pain. Her mind shied away at the thought of that pain and what had caused it. Better not to dwell on it, she told herself. Better to try to put Alex behind me and go on with my life.
But the past intruded upon her well intentioned plan and, against her will, her mind traveled back in time to when she was fifteen years old and she and Alex had been riding their horses in the park in the early morning. They had dismounted by the lake to give the horses a chance to drink and as they stood there a deer came down to the other side of the lake. It had been summer, and the air was soft and gentle. At the sight of the lovely animal, Diana had felt something stir inside of her, and, instinctively, she had turned to Alex.
He was looking at her. “You are so beautiful, Dee,” he said. His light eyes had darkened slightly and his voice was a little unsteady. Slowly his head bent toward hers and she had lifted her face. For the first time, their lips had met.
They had kissed gently, tentatively, then Alex’s mouth had hardened and he had put his arms around her. She had leaned against him and kissed him back. When finally he raised his head, they both were breathing quickly.
“Oh, Dee,” he said shakily. “Oh, Dee.”
She didn’t know what to say. They had been friends for so many years. But this was something new.
“What does this mean?” she asked.
“I think it means we love each other,” he had returned.
She thought for a moment, and then she had nodded. “Yes,” she had said. “I think it means that, too.”
She lay now on her bed, her eyes closed, and remembered that first kiss. She would remember it for as long as she lived. She would remember the look in Alex’s eyes, she would remember how his hard, young body had felt against hers.
She shut her eyes very tightly and willed the memory to go away. It was futile to dwell on the past. Alex hadn’t really loved her—or he hadn’t loved her enough. That was what she had to remember.
I am starting a new life tonight, she thought. That is what I must concentrate on.
That evening Diana, her mother and the rest of the Standishes prepared to leave Standish House to go to the famous Almack’s Assembly Rooms on King Street. Alex was waiting at the foot of the stairs as Diana and Sally came down, and Diana thought he looked splendid in the evening dress that was demanded for entrance to the club: knee breeches, a white neck cloth and black dress coat with long tails. Diana herself wore a white gown over a sea green slip. Her glorious red-gold hair was caught behind her ears with pearl-studded combs and her jewelry was a simple pearl necklace and matching earrings.
Sally was similarly attired in her usual blue, with a diamond around her throat and diamond studs in her ears. She looked utterly sweet and lovely.
The two older women wore silk gowns, Mrs. Sherwood in a smoky gray and Lady Standish in dark gold.
They all got into the Standish coach, with the earl’s coat of arms painted on its door, and the horses began their route through the city streets. Diana didn’t know what she had been expecting but it was certainly something grander than the simple building with undistinguished brickwork that the carriage drew up before. Everyone got out and Alex escorted his mother and Mrs. Sherwood to the front door, with the girls bringing up the rear. At the door they presented their vouchers and were admitted into the inner sanctum of society’s self-described “marriage mart.”
“It looks terribly plain,” Sally whispered to Diana as they went up the stairs to the main floor. There was no architectural interest about the ballroom at all. It was just a big room with a bad floor, but it was crowded with the highest members of London society, all dressed in their finest clothes. The scent of mingling perfumes rose to Diana’s nostrils as she stood there, her chest feeling tight under her lovely gown.
Music was playing and the dance floor was filled with dancers. Alex steered his mother and Mrs. Sherwood around the edges of the floor, and Diana saw that he was heading toward Lady Jersey, who was enthroned amidst the rest of the patronesses as they kept an eagle eye on what was transpiring before them.
The patronesses shifted their gaze to the Standish party and sat silently as Lady Jersey greeted them and then turned to introduce them. Of the six other patronesses of Almack’s, only Lady Castlereagh, Lady Cowper and Mrs. Drummond Burrell were present that evening and they smiled warmly upon Alex, Lady Standish and Sally. The smiles were less warm as they greeted Mrs. Sherwood and Diana.
The music stopped and the dancers began to stream off the floor. Lady Jersey motioned to a tall, willowy young man, who obediently came to her side and was presented to them as Viscount Althorpe. Lady Jersey said, “I thought you might enjoy a dance with Lady Sarah Standish, Althorpe. She is newly come to town and doesn’t know anyone yet.”
The young man beamed and turned to Sally with alacrity. The dancers were forming up for the next dance and the two of them moved off together. Diana felt a moment of panic, but then she felt Alex taking her hand. “Come along, Dee. You’ve come here to dance, after all.”
Lady Standish and Mrs. Sherwood moved off to join the rows of chaperones and Diana went with Alex. As they walked away she heard the cool, aristocratic tones of Mrs. Drummond Burrell say to Lady Jersey, “Really, Sally, whatever possessed you to give vouchers to the Sherwoods?”
Diana stiffened.
Alex said, “Nasty old cat. Don’t pay any mind to her, Dee. You fit in here just fine.”
Diana and Alex took their places in the line and the dance started. It was a country dance, which involved the ladies being passed from partner to partner, and Diana forced herself to smile and look as if she was having a good time. At the end of the dance she and Alex were back together again, and he walked her off the floor.
A young man approached them.
“I say, Standish,” he said. “I haven’t seen you since Salamanca. Back home for good, I see?”
Alex replied and the young man, who was broadchested and broad-faced, said, “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”
Alex presented Lord Butler to Diana, who immediately asked her to dance. She accepted, thrilled that someone besides Alex wanted to dance with her. Together they went out onto the floor.
That was the way the evening went. Both Diana and Sally danced every dance.
Diana was radiant. Forgotten was the hurtful comment of Mrs. Drummond Burrell. She wasn’t going to be shunned. She could attract men in London just the way she had at home. Her London Season was going to be all right.
Alex watched Diana’s progress with mixed emotions. He certainly hadn’t wanted her to fail, but it hurt to watch her with other men. It hurt bitterly. He wanted to rush onto the floor, drag her away from her partner and claim her as his own.
No matter what she might say about never forgiving him, he wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t give up. There was too much between them—there had always been too much between them—for him to believe that she could turn her back on him so easily.
Perhaps she wouldn’t get another marriage offer. Men liked to dance with a pretty girl, but marriage to a dowerless country girl was another thing altogether. If she had nobody else to marry, perhaps she would think differently about him. If she changed her mind out of necessity, that would be all right. He would take Dee any way he could get her.
He had missed her so much. He had missed her achingly. He had known she was hurt and angry when she hadn’t answered his letters, but in his heart he had always thought that he could make everything right when he came home.
He looked at her glowing smile as she danced with her tall, handsome partner, and his stomach clenched.
The following morning a variety of bouquets were delivered to Standish House for the girls. Most were for Sally, but there were a few for Diana, as well. Along with the flowers came invitations to drive in the park. The young men who had sent the flowers all turned up at Standish House at eleven o’clock, the official hour for making morning calls, and they all sat in the downstairs drawing room making conversation, attended by Lady Standish and Mrs. Sherwood.
Diana agreed to drive out with a lively young man who was the younger son of a baron. His name was Matthew Dunster and Diana found him very entertaining. He also was mad about horses, which immediately gave them something in common to talk about.
Sally chose a more matrimonially advantageous escort, the eldest son of an earl. Lady Standish was pleased to express her approval of both girls’ plans, and arrangements were made for them to be picked up at five o’clock that afternoon.
“We have a musicale to go to after lunch,” Lady Standish announced to the girls after their suitors had left. “It’s at the Countess of Morham’s. A very popular pianist is going to be there.”
Sally was thrilled. She was a very good musician herself and she loved music. Diana was less excited. She would have preferred to spend the afternoon outdoors.
“Is Alex coming?” she heard herself ask.
“No, I believe he is going to Tattersall’s to look at horses,” Lady Standish replied.
Horses! This sounded so much better than being cooped up inside all afternoon listening to music. “I believe I’ll go with Alex,” Diana said.
“You most certainly will not,” Lady Standish returned. “Ladies do not go to Tattersall’s. You would ruin your reputation were you to do such a thing.”
Diana stuck out her lip, just the way she had done when she was a child and was thwarted from doing something she wanted to do. “That’s ridiculous,” she said. “Why can’t I go to look at horses?”
“Tattersall’s is strictly a male domain,” Lady Standish explained. “Alex will tell you the same thing. Besides, it will look good for you to be seen at the musicale with us. Lady Morham is an important figure in society.”
So Diana dragged herself off to the musicale with Lady Standish, her mother and Sally. It wasn’t that she disliked music; she enjoyed listening to Sally play in the evening. But she would so much rather have been at Tattersall’s with Alex.
The next two weeks—the weeks before Lady Standish was due to have her official come-out ball for Sally and Diana—were crammed with activities. They went to balls, routs, Venetian breakfasts, musicales and drove in Hyde Park. Alex had been true to his word and sent for Diana’s dog, Freddie, to be sent to London. Diana walked her dog in Green Park twice every day. She and Sally had exactly the same schedule, except that Sally’s escorts were all highly born and had money, while Diana’s escorts tended to be younger sons with few prospects. They were all obviously smitten by Diana, but none could possibly be serious husband material. None of them had the money to marry a penniless girl like her.
One of Sally’s suitors was the heir to the Marquess of Norton. Sally was driving with Lord Morple in the area of Pall Mall, a neighborhood which, like so many good neighborhoods in London, bordered on a slum. As Sally’s carriage passed in front of Marlborough House, she saw an old cart pulled to the side of the road, with a man and a boy standing beside it. The boy looked to be about five and was dressed in filthy rags. As Sally watched in horror, the man raised his horse whip and laid it across the boy’s back.
“Disgusting,” Sally’s escort said, looking down his nose. “These people shouldn’t be allowed in this part of town.”
“Stop!” Sally shouted, reaching for the reins. She halted the horses, and Lord Morple looked at her in astonishment as she swung herself down from the carriage.
“Here, Lady Sarah! You can’t do that! Come back here!”
Sally ignored him and ran toward the man who had once more raised his whip and it hit the boy again. “Stop that!” she commanded.
Sally had a very soft voice and the man ignored her, raising his whip yet again. “Ye wretched little cur,” he said. “I’ll have ye obey me or else.”
At that, Sally dashed in to throw her arms protectively around the child and the whip came down upon her own shoulder. She flinched but didn’t cry out. The man cursed.
“How dare you beat this child?” she said fiercely, the boy gathered safely to her breast. “What has he done to deserve such barbaric treatment?”
“It’s none o’ yer business, young miss,” the man replied. “But he’s one of my climbing boys and he refused to go up the chimney in yon house. I’m beatin’ some sense into him, that’s wot I’m doin’.”
“You wretched man,” Sally said passionately. High color stained her cheeks. “Would you send a frightened child up a chimney? What kind of monster are you?”
The boy whimpered and pressed closer to Sally.
“Don’t worry, my dear,” she said to him. “You are safe with me.”
“Here, that’s my boy,” the man said loudly, and he began to advance upon Sally, evidently with the idea of ripping the boy from her arms.
A deep, resonant voice said, “Desist, you worm. Lay one hand on the lady and I shall be forced to kill you.”
For a brief moment, Sally thought her escort had come to her rescue but then she realized that the voice was different. She looked up to see a tall, blond man dressed in a many-caped riding coat standing next to the chimney sweeper. “You cannot beat your poor unfortunate boys on the city streets,” the blond man said. “At least you can’t while there is a lady of mercy in the vicinity. I suggest you go about your business before I have you arrested for vicious conduct.”
“That boy’s mine,” the man said indignantly. “You can’t just take him from me! He’s worth money!”
“Slavery is outlawed in England,” Sally said. “If this boy chooses to leave you of his own free will, there is nothing you can do about it.” She looked down at the filthy head that was pressed against her breast. “Do you wish to leave this man, my dear?”
“Yes,” came the breathless reply.
“Then I think you have had your answer,” the tall stranger said. “Take yourself off before I am tempted to knock you down for attacking helpless children.”
His voice was cool and utterly authoritative. After a moment, the chimney man got back into his wagon and started up his poor, skinny horse.
Sally looked up at the man who had come to her rescue. Her escort was still sitting in his phaeton, staring at her. “Thank you, sir,” she said. “You came just in time.”
For the first time she noticed that the man’s eyes were a very unusual shade of green.
“Let’s have a look at the lad,” he said.
Sally put her hands on the boy’s thin shoulders and held him away from her. The front of her pelisse was filthy, from coal dirt and tears and the boy’s runny nose. She appeared not to notice.
“What is your name?” she asked gently.
“Jem,” came the reply.
“How long have you been a climbing boy?” the man asked.
“Just a few months. But I don’t like it. I’m afraid of getting caught in the chimney. But my pa said he couldna feed me, that I’d have to do it.”
“How old are you?”
“Eight.”
He was small enough to look five. He snuffled. Sally looked at her rescuer and said, “Do you have a handkerchief, sir?”
The thick blond brows rose, but the man reached into the pocket of his greatcoat and produced the article requested.
“Here,” Sally said, handing over the pristine handkerchief. “Blow your nose, Jem, and wipe your face.”
The two adults stood in silence and watched as the boy did as he was requested. When he was finished he attempted to hand the handkerchief back to its owner, who shook his head sharply and said, “No, no, you keep it, boy.”
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Joan Wolf
Тип: электронная книга
Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература
Язык: на английском языке
Издательство: HarperCollins
Дата публикации: 16.04.2024
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О книге: Napoleon′s troops stand defeated and Wellington′s Spanish campaign is over. Now a dedicated British soldier enters a very different hind of war: a battle for the woman he loves…The eldest son of the Earl of Standish and heir to his late father′s holdings, Alexander Devize is summoned home to his duties in England. Waiting for him, he believes, is Diana Sherwood, the irrepressible beauty with whom he shared an unforgettable night of passion, a young woman he fully intends to marry. But Diana, lovelier and more headstrong than ever, has other intentions.A soldier′s daughter, Diana refuses to suffer the harsh world of being a soldier′s wife and plans instead her coming out in London, ignoring the memories of wild and reckless Alex. Convinced she′s found the proper, stable gentleman in Robert Welbourne, she pursues her course, unaware of a treachery building around her–or of the unwavering devotion of a soldier willing to fight for all he′s worth in a battle he must not lose.