Life Lessons from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
Robin Sharma
101 inspirational lessons on how to achieve true happiness, find fulfilment and live peacefully and meaningfully every day, from Robin Sharma, leading life coach and author of the multi-million-copy bestseller The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.How can one achieve true happiness? Is it possible to with joy, passion and purpose every day? It is – and this potent book, with its powerful life lessons and profound wisdom, can show you how.Here Robin Sharma, one of the world’s leading life teachers and bestselling authors, takes you on a journey towards a new way of living, allowing you to re-purpose your time to make every day meaningful.Offering simple solutions to life’s most frustrating challenges, this is a guide to rebalancing the conflicting forces in your life. Its lessons include:• How to discover your calling• How to see your troubles as blessings• How to enjoy the path – not just the rewards• How to live fully, so you can die happyThis is a truly remarkable book that you will treasure for a lifetime.
Testimonials (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
PRAISE FOR ROBIN SHARMA AND
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
‘Robin Sharma’s books are helping people all over the world live great lives.’ – Paulo Coelho, #1 bestselling author ofThe Alchemist
‘Robin Sharma has the rare gift of writing books that are truly life-changing.’ – Richard Carlson, Ph.D., author of the #1New York Times bestsellerDon’t Sweat the Small Stuff
‘Nothing less than sensational. This book will bless your life.’ – Mark Victor Hansen, co-author,Chicken Soup for the Soul
‘A great book, from an inspirational point of view.’ – Carlos Delgado, Major League baseball superstar
‘This is a fun, fascinating, fanciful adventure into the realms of personal development, personal effectiveness and individual happiness. It contains treasures of wisdom that can enrich and enhance the life of every single person.’ – Brian Tracy, author ofMaximum Achievement
‘Robin S. Sharma has an important message for all of us – one that can change our lives. He’s written a one-of-a-kind handbook for personal fulfillment in a hectic age.’ – Scott DeGarmo, past publisher,Success Magazine
‘The book is about finding out what is truly important to your real spiritual self, rather than being inundated with material possessions.’ – Michelle Yeoh, lead actress ofCrouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, inTIME Magazine
‘Robin Sharma has created an enchanting tale that incorporates the classic tools of transformation into a simple philosophy of living. A delightful book that will change your life.’ – Elaine St. James, author ofSimplify Your Life andInner Simplicity
‘Sheds light on life’s big questions.’ –The Edmonton Journal
‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari is coherent, useful and definitely worth reading … It can truly help readers cope with the rat race.’ –The Kingston Whig-Standard
‘Simple wisdom that anyone can benefit from.’ –The Calgary Herald
‘This book could be classified asThe Wealthy Barber of personal development … [It contains] insightful messages on the key concepts which help bring greater balance, control and effectiveness in our daily lives.’ –Investment Executive
‘A treasure – an elegant and powerful formula for true success and happiness. Robin S. Sharma has captured the wisdom of the ages and made it relevant for these turbulent times. I couldn’t put it down.’ – Joe Tye, author ofNever Fear, Never Quit
‘Simple rules for reaching one’s potential.’ –The Halifax Daily News
‘Sharma guides readers toward enlightenment.’ –The Chronicle-Herald
‘A wonderfully crafted parable revealing a set of simple yet surprisingly potent ideas for improving the quality of anyone’s life. I’m recommending this gem of a book to all of my clients.’ – George Williams, president, Karat Consulting International
‘Robin Sharma offers personal fulfillment along the spiritual highroad.’ –Ottawa Citizen
PRAISE FOR
Leadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
‘One of the year’s best business books.’ –PROFIT Magazine
‘Very informative, easy to read and extremely helpful … We have distributed copies to all our management team as well as to store operators. The feedback has been very positive.’ – David Bloom, CEO, Shoppers Drug Mart
‘Robin Sharma has a neat, down-to-earth way of expressing his powerful solutions for today’s most pressing leadership issues. This is so refreshing in a period when businesspeople are faced with so much jargon.’ – Ian Turner, manager, Celestica Learning Centre
‘This book is a gold mine of wisdom and common sense.’ – Dean Larry Tapp, Richard Ivey School of Business, University of Western Ontario
‘A terrific book that will help any businessperson lead and live more effectively.’ – Jim O’Neill, director of operations, District Sales Division, London Life
‘Sharma’s mission is to provide the reader with the insight to become a visionary leader, helping them transform their business into an organization that thrives in this era of change.’ –Sales Promotion Magazine
ALSO BY ROBIN SHARMA (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
Leadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
Discover Your Destiny with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
The Secret Letters of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
Family Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
The Greatness Guide
Be Extraordinary: The Greatness Guide, Book 2
MegaLiving
The Leader Who Had No Title
The Saint, The Surfer and The CEO
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I dedicate this book to you, the reader. May you apply the life lessons you discover within these pages to manifest the fullness of your talents while making a difference in the lives of all those around you.
This book is also dedicated to my children, Colby and Bianca, two of my greatest teachers. I love you.
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The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.
– Norman Cousins
CONTENTS
Cover (#u3d1a6903-5b89-5a35-9356-beb8d9da110f)
Title Page (#ulink_45732b05-e915-59e5-b8cb-6326047e919d)
Testimonials (#ulink_21c1cb06-b642-5283-9666-97b4ea008923)
Also by Robin Sharma (#ulink_eadd05b3-3c71-54c6-a92e-d3f90cd7f197)
Dedication (#ulink_3a1e3660-df7b-5ac4-9d64-cc08a3da52b5)
Epigraph (#ulink_1807268f-ac25-57c0-86f5-8c664c2a8a56)
Foreword (#ulink_9c732d55-27a6-5c0d-bbdc-1d0a71a56a5b)
Preface (#ulink_27024b73-8217-5950-8cdc-7678774b441e)
1. Discover Your Calling
2. Every Day, Be Kind to a Stranger
3. Maintain Your Perspective
4. Practice Tough Love
5. Keep a Journal
6. Develop an Honesty Philosophy
7. Honor Your Past
8. Start Your Day Well
9. Learn to Say No Gracefully
10. Take a Weekly Sabbatical
11. Talk to Yourself
12. Schedule Worry Breaks
13. Model a Child
14. Remember, Genius Is 99 Percent Inspiration
15. Care for the Temple
16. Learn to Be Silent
17. Think About Your Ideal Neighborhood
18. Get Up Early
19. See Your Troubles as Blessings
20. Laugh More
21. Spend a Day Without Your Watch
22. Take More Risks
23. Live a Life
24. Learn from a Good Movie
25. Bless Your Money
26. Focus on the Worthy
27. Write Thank-You Notes
28. Always Carry a Book with You
29. Create a Love Account
30. Get Behind People’s Eyeballs
31. List Your Problems
32. Practice the Action Habit
33. See Your Children as Gifts
34. Enjoy the Path, Not Just the Reward
35. Remember That Awareness Precedes Change
36. ReadTuesdays with Morrie
37. Master Your Time
38. Keep Your Cool
39. Recruit a Board of Directors
40. Cure Your Monkey Mind
41. Get Good at Asking
42. Look for the Higher Meaning of Your Work
43. Build a Library of Heroic Books
44. Develop Your Talents
45. Connect with Nature
46. Use Your Commute Time
47. Go on a News Fast
48. Get Serious About Setting Goals
49. Remember the Rule of 21
50. Practice Forgiveness
51. Drink Fresh Fruit Juice
52. Create a Pure Environment
53. Walk in the Woods
54. Get a Coach
55. Take a Mini-Vacation
56. Become a Volunteer
57. Find Your Six Degrees of Separation
58. Listen to Music Daily
59. Write a Legacy Statement
60. Find Three Great Friends
61. ReadThe Artist’s Way
62. Learn to Meditate
63. Have a Living Funeral
64. Stop Complaining and Start Living
65. Increase Your Value
66. Be a Better Parent
67. Be Unorthodox
68. Carry a Goal Card
69. Be More than Your Moods
70. Savor the Simple Stuff
71. Stop Condemning
72. See Your Day as Your Life
73. Create a MasterMind Alliance
74. Create a Daily Code of Conduct
75. Imagine a Richer Reality
76. Become the CEO of Your Life
77. Be Humble
78. Don’t Finish Every Book You Start
79. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
80. Make a Vow of Silence
81. Don’t Pick Up the Phone Every Time It Rings
82. Remember That Recreation Must Involve Re-creation
83. Choose Worthy Opponents
84. Sleep Less
85. Have a Family Mealtime
86. Become an Imposter
87. Take a Public Speaking Course
88. Stop Thinking Tiny Thoughts
89. Don’t Worry About Things You Can’t Change
90. Learn How to Walk
91. Rewrite Your Life Story
92. Plant a Tree
93. Find Your Place of Peace
94. Take More Pictures
95. Be an Adventurer
96. Decompress Before You Go Home
97. Respect Your Instincts
98. Collect Quotes That Inspire You
99. Love Your Work
100. Selflessly Serve
101. Live Fully so You Can Die Happy
Acknowledgments (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Exclusive Sample Chapter (#litres_trial_promo)
Back Ads (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
FOREWORD (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
It’s a true privilege to be able to write this message to you as you begin this very special edition ofLife Lessons from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.
I wrote this book during a hard time in my life. And so I was going deep, highly reflective and doing my very best to understand what makes a human life happy, excellent and peaceful. As you know, adversity is a superb servant, helping us strip away the distractions and shiny toys of the world to refocus us on what’s truly important. And it reminds us about the pursuits that truly matter.
Life Lessons from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari is a powerful manual for living your absolute best life. The chapters are short, enormously practical and hopefully truly inspiring. And the ideas I share, while simple, are ultimately game-changing once you have the courage to act on them and make them a part of your daily habits. Today could be the first day of your greatest life. I’m very excited for you.
More than anything else, I wrote this book to help you break free of any shackles that may be holding you back from expressing the potential that you were born into, so that you get big things done, experience a remarkable sense of joy that lasts and live a life that’s truly legendary. Yes, legendary.
So enjoy – and savor – the insights that follow. Make the course corrections you’re ready to make. And inspire everyone who is blessed to intersect with your path by the person that I know you’ll step into being.
Your fan,
Robin Sharma
P.S. I love connecting with my readers atrobinsharma.com (http://www.robinsharma.com). You’ll also find a wealth of training videos, free ebooks, podcasts and other learning resources that will help your transformation. And keep you energized. Again, my best wishes.
PREFACE (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
I honor you for picking up this book. In doing so, you have made the decision to live more deliberately, more joyfully and completely. You have decided to live your life by choice rather than by chance, by design rather than by default. And for this, I applaud you.
Since writing the two previous books inThe Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series, I have received countless letters from readers who saw their lives change through the wisdom they discovered. The comments of these men and women inspired and moved me. Many of the notes I received also encouraged me to distill all that I have learned about the art of living into a series of life lessons. And so, I set about compiling the best I have to give into a book that I truly believe will help transform your life.
The words on the following pages are heartfelt and written in the high hope that you will not only connect with the wisdom I respectfully offer but act on it to create lasting improvements in every life area. Through my own trials, I have found that it is not enough to know what to do – we must act on that knowledge in order to have the lives we want.
And so as you turn the pages of this third book inThe Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series, I hope you will discover a wealth of wisdom that will enrich the quality of your professional, personal and spiritual life. Please do write to me, send me an e-mail or visit with me at one of my seminars to share how you have integrated the lessons in this book into the way you live. I will do my very best to respond to your letters with a personal note. I wish you deep peace, great prosperity and many happy days spent engaged in a worthy purpose.
Robin Sharma
1.
Discover Your Calling (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
When I was growing up, my father said something to me I will never forget, ‘Son, when you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die the world cries while you rejoice.’ We live in an age when we have forgotten what life is all about. We can easily put a person on the Moon, but we have trouble walking across the street to meet a new neighbor. We can fire a missile across the world with pinpoint accuracy, but we have trouble keeping a date with our children to go to the library. We have e-mail, fax machines and digital phones so that we can stay connected and yet we live in a time where human beings have never been less connected. We have lost touch with our humanity. We have lost touch with our purpose. We have lost sight of the things that matter the most.
And so, as you start this book, I respectfully ask you, Who will cry when you die? How many lives will you touch while you have the privilege to walk this planet? What impact will your life have on the generations that follow you? And what legacy will you leave behind after you have taken your last breath? One of the lessons I have learned in my own life is that if you don’t act on life, life has a habit of acting on you. The days slip into weeks, the weeks slip into months and the months slip into years. Pretty soon it’s all over and you are left with nothing more than a heart filled with regret over a life half lived. George Bernard Shaw was asked on his deathbed, ‘What would you do if you could live your life over again?’ He reflected, then replied with a deep sigh: ‘I’d like to be the person I could have been but never was.’ I’ve written this book so that this will never happen to you.
As a professional speaker, I spend much of my work life delivering keynote addresses at conferences across North America, flying from city to city, sharing my insights on leadership in business and in life with many different people. Though they all come from diverse walks of life, their questions invariably center on the same things these days: How can I find greater meaning in my life? How can I make a lasting contribution through my work? and How can I simplify so that I can enjoy the journey of life before it is too late?
My answer always begins the same way: Find your calling. I believe we all have special talents that are just waiting to be engaged in a worthy pursuit. We are all here for some unique purpose, some noble objective that will allow us to manifest our highest human potential while we, at the same time, add value to the lives around us. Finding your calling doesn’t mean you must leave the job you now have. It simply means you need to bring more of yourself into your work and focus on the things you do best. It means you have to stop waiting for other people to make the changes you desire and, as Mahatma Gandhi noted: ‘Be the change that you wish to see most in your world.’ And once you do, your life will change.
2.
Every Day, Be Kind to a Stranger (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
On his deathbed, Aldous Huxley reflected on his entire life’s learning and then summed it up in seven simple words: ‘Let us be kinder to one another.’ All too often, we believe that in order to live a truly fulfilling life we must achieve some great act or grand feat that will put us on the front covers of magazines and newspapers. Nothing could be further from the truth. A meaningful life is made up of a series of daily acts of decency and kindness, which, ironically, add up to something truly great over the course of a lifetime.
Everyone who enters your life has a lesson to teach and a story to tell. Every person you pass during the moments that make up your days represents an opportunity to show a little more of the compassion and courtesy that define your humanity. Why not start being more of the person you truly are during your days and doing what you can to enrich the world around you? In my mind, if you make even one person smile during your day or brighten the mood of even one stranger, your day has been a worthwhile one. Kindness, quite simply, is the rent we must pay for the space we occupy on this planet.
Become more creative in the ways you show compassion to strangers. Paying the toll for the person in the car behind you, offering your seat on the subway to someone in need and being the first to say hello are great places to start. Recently, I received a letter from a reader ofThe Monk Who Sold His Ferrari who lives in Washington State. In it she wrote: ‘I have a practice of tithing to people who have helped me along my spiritual path. Please accept the enclosed check of $100 with my blessing and gratitude.’ I quickly responded to her generous act by sending one of my audiotape programs in return so she received value for the gift she sent me. Her gesture was a great lesson in the importance of giving sincerely and from the heart.
3.
Maintain Your Perspective (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
One day, according to an old story, a man with a serious illness was wheeled into a hospital room where another patient was resting on a bed next to the window. As the two became friends, the one next to the window would look out of it and then spend the next few hours delighting his bedridden companion with vivid descriptions of the world outside. Some days he would describe the beauty of the trees in the park across from the hospital and how the leaves danced in the wind. On other days, he would entertain his friend with step-by-step replays of the things people were doing as they walked by the hospital. However, as time went on, the bedridden man grew frustrated at his inability to observe the wonders his friend described. Eventually he grew to dislike him and then to hate him intensely.
One night, during a particularly bad coughing fit, the patient next to the window stopped breathing. Rather than pressing the button for help, the other man chose to do nothing. The next morning the patient who had given his friend so much happiness by recounting the sights outside the window was pronounced dead and wheeled out of the hospital room. The other man quickly asked that his bed be placed next to the window, a request that was complied with by the attending nurse. But as he looked out the window, he discovered something that made him shake: the window faced a stark brick wall. His former roommate had conjured up the incredible sights that he described in his imagination as a loving gesture to make the world of his friend a little bit better during a difficult time. He had acted out of selfless love.
This story never fails to create a shift in my own perspective when I think about it. To live happier, more fulfilling lives, when we encounter a difficult circumstance, we must keep shifting our perspective and continually ask ourselves, ‘Is there a wiser, more enlightened way of looking at this seemingly negative situation?’ Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest physicists ever, is reported to have said that we live on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of a hundred thousand million galaxies. How’s that for a shift in perspective? Given this information, are your troubles really that big? Are the problems you have experienced or the challenges you might currently be facing really as serious as you have made them out to be?
We walk this planet for such a short time. In the overall scheme of things, our lives are mere blips on the canvas of eternity. So have the wisdom to enjoy the journey and savor the process.
4.
Practice Tough Love (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
The golden thread of a highly successful and meaningful life is self-discipline. Discipline allows you to do all those things you know in your heart you should do but never feel like doing. Without self-discipline, you will not set clear goals, manage your time effectively, treat people well, persist through the tough times, care for your health or think positive thoughts.
I call the habit of self-discipline ‘Tough Love’ because getting tough with yourself is actually a very loving gesture. By being stricter with yourself, you will begin to live life more deliberately, on your own terms rather than simply reacting to life the way a leaf floating in a stream drifts according to the flow of the current on a particular day. As I teach in one of my seminars, the tougher you are on yourself, the easier life will be on you. The quality of your life ultimately is shaped by the quality of your choices and decisions, ones that range from the career you choose to pursue to the books you read, the time that you wake up every morning and the thoughts you think during the hours of your days. When you consistently flex your willpower by making those choices that you know are the right ones (rather than the easy ones), you take back control of your life. Effective, fulfilled people do not spend their time doing what is most convenient and comfortable. They have the courage to listen to their hearts and to do the wise thing. This habit is what makes them great.
‘The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do,’ remarked essayist and thinker E. M. Gray. ‘They don’t like doing them either, necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.’ The nineteenth-century English writer Thomas Henry Huxley arrived at a similar conclusion, noting: ‘Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.’ And Aristotle made this point of wisdom in yet another way: ‘Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it: men come to be builders, for instance, by building, and harp players, by playing the harp. In the same way, by doing just acts we come to be just; by doing self-controlled acts, we come to be self-controlled; and by doing brave acts, we come to be brave.’
5.
Keep a Journal (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
Maintaining a daily journal is one of the best personal growth initiatives you will ever take. Writing down your daily experiences along with the lessons you have drawn from them will make you wiser with each passing day. You will develop self-awareness and make fewer mistakes. And keeping a journal will help clarify your intentions so that you remain focused on the things that truly count.
Writing in a journal offers you the opportunity to have regular one-on-one conversations with yourself. It forces you to do some deep thinking in a world where deep thinking is a thing of the past. It will also make you a clearer thinker and help you live in a more intentional and enlightened way. In addition, it provides a central place where you can record your insights on important issues, note key success strategies that have worked for you and commit to all those things you know are important to achieve for a high-quality professional, personal and spiritual life. And your personal journal gives you a private place to flex your imagination and define your dreams.
A journal is not a diary. A diary is a place where you record events while a journal is a place where you analyze and evaluate them. Keeping a journal encourages you to consider what you do, why you do it and what you have learned from all you have done. And writing in a journal promotes personal growth and wisdom by giving you a forum to study, and then leverage, your past for greater success in your future. Medical researchers have even found that writing in a private journal for as little time as 15 minutes a day can improve health, functioning of your immune system and your overall attitude. Remember, if your life is worth thinking about, it is worth writing about.
6.
Develop an Honesty Philosophy (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
We live in a world of broken promises. We live in a time when people treat their words lightly. We tell a friend we will call her next week for lunch knowing full well we do not have the time to do so. We promise a co-worker we will bring in that new book we love so much knowing full well that we never lend out our books. And we promise ourselves this will be the year we will get back into shape, simplify our lives and have more fun without any real intention of making the deep life changes necessary to achieve these goals.
Saying things we don’t really mean becomes a habit when we practice it long enough. The real problem is that when you don’t keep your word, you lose credibility. When you lose credibility, you break the bonds of trust. And breaking the bonds of trust ultimately leads to a string of broken relationships.
To develop an honesty philosophy, begin to monitor how many small untruths you tell over the course of a week. Go on what I call a ‘truth fast’ for the next seven days and vow to be completely honest in all your dealings with others – and with yourself. Every time you fail to do the right thing, you fuel the habit of doing the wrong thing. Every time you do not tell the truth, you feed the habit of being untruthful. When you promise someone you will do something, do it. Be a person of your word rather than being ‘all talk and no action’. As Mother Teresa said, ‘there should be less talk; a preaching point is not a meeting point. What do you do then? Take a broom and clean someone’s house. That says enough.’
7.
Honor Your Past (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
Every second you dwell on the past you steal from your future. Every minute you spend focusing on your problems you take away from finding your solutions. And thinking about all those things that you wish never happened to you is actually blocking all the things you want to happen from entering into your life. Given the timeless truth that holds that you become what you think about all day long, it makes no sense to worry about past events or mistakes unless you want to experience them for a second time. Instead, use the lessons you have learned from your past to rise to a whole new level of awareness and enlightenment.
Life’s greatest setbacks reveal life’s biggest opportunities. As the ancient thinker Euripides noted, ‘There is in the worst of fortune the best chances for a happy change.’ If you have suffered more than your fair share of difficulties in life, perhaps you are being prepared to serve some greater purpose that will require you to be equipped with the wisdom you have acquired through your trials. Use these life lessons to fuel your future growth. Remember, happy people have often experienced as much adversity as those who are unhappy. What sets them apart is that they have the good sense to manage their memories in a way that enriches their lives.
And understand that if you have failed more than others, there is a very good chance you are living more completely than others. Those who take more chances and dare to be more and do more than others will naturally experience more failures. But personally, I would rather have the bravery to try something and then fail than never to have tried it at all. I would much prefer spending the rest of my days expanding my human frontiers and trying to make the seemingly impossible probable than live a life of comfort, security and mediocrity. That’s the essence of true life success. As Herodotus noted so sagely, ‘It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half of the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what may happen.’ Or as Booker T. Washington said, ‘I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.’
8.
Start Your Day Well (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
The way you begin your day determines the way you will live your day. I call the first thirty minutes after you wake up ‘The Platinum 30’ since they are truly the most valuable moments of your day and have a profound influence on the quality of every minute that follows. If you have the wisdom and self-discipline to ensure that, during this key period, you think only the purest of thoughts and take only the finest of actions, you will notice that your days will consistently unfold in the most marvelous ways.
Recently, I took my two young children to see the thrilling IMAX movieEverest. Aside from the breathtaking imagery and the powerful acts of heroism portrayed, there was one point that stayed with me: in order for the mountain-climbers to scale the summit, it was essential for them to have a good base camp. It was impossible for them to get to the top without that camp at the bottom that offered them a sanctuary for rest, renewal and replenishing. Once they reached Camp Two, they then returned to the base for a few weeks to recharge their batteries. On reaching Camp Three, they hastily retreated to base camp to prepare for the trek to Camp Four. And on reaching Camp Four, they again went back down the mountain to base camp before making their final push for the summit. In the same way, I think that every one of us, in order to reach our personal summits and master the daily challenges of our own lives, needs to revisit our base camps during ‘The Platinum 30’. We need to go to a place where we can reconnect to our life’s mission, renew our selves and refocus on the things that matter most.
In my own life, I have developed a very effective morning ritual that consistently gets my day off to a joyful and peace-filled start. After waking, I head down to my ‘personal sanctuary’, a little space I have created for myself where I can practice my renewal activities without being disturbed. I then spend about fifteen minutes in silent contemplation, focusing on all the good things in my life and envisioning the day that I expect is about to unfold. Next I pick up a book from the wisdom literature, one rich with those timeless truths of successful living that are so easy to forget in these fast-paced times we live in. Examples includeMeditations by the Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius,The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, andWalden by Henry David Thoreau. The lessons in these works center me on the things that truly count and help launch my day on the right footing. And the wisdom I read during that precious early morning period infuses and enlightens every remaining minute of my day. So start your day well. You will never be the same.
9.
Learn to Say No Gracefully (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
It is easy to say yes to every request on your time when the priorities of your life are unclear. When your days are not guided by a rich and inspiring vision for your future, a clear image of an end result that will help you act more intentionally, it is not hard for the agendas of those around you to dictate your actions. As I wrote inLeadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, ‘if your priorities don’t get scheduled into your planner, other people’s priorities will get put into your planner.’ The solution is to be clear about your life’s highest objectives and then to learn to say no with grace.
The Chinese sage Chuang-tzu told the story of a man who forged swords for a maharaja. Even at the age of ninety, his work was carried out with exceptional precision and ability. No matter how rushed he was, he never made even the slightest slip. One day, the maharaja asked the old man, ‘Is this a natural talent or is there some special technique that you use to create your remarkable results?’ ‘It is concentration on the essentials,’ replied the sword-crafter. ‘I took to forging swords when I was twenty-one years old. I did not care about anything else. If it was not a sword, I did not look at it or pay any attention to it. Forging swords became my passion and my purpose. I took all the energy that I did not give in other directions and put it in the direction of my art. This is the secret to my mastery.’
The most effective people concentrate on their ‘areas of excellence’, that is, on the things they do best and on those high-impact activities that will advance their lifework. In being so consumed by the important things, they find it easy to say no to the less-than-worthy distractions that clamor for their attention. Michael Jordan, the best basketball player in the game’s history, did not negotiate his contracts, design his uniforms and prepare his travel schedules. He focused his time and energies on what he did best: playing basketball, and delegated everything else to his handlers. Jazz great Louis Armstrong did not spend his time selling tickets to his shows and setting up chairs for the audience. He concentrated on his point of brilliance: playing the trumpet. Learning to say no to the non-essentials will give you more time to devote to the things that have the power to truly improve the way you live and help you leave the legacy you know in your heart you are destined to leave.
10.
Take a Weekly Sabbatical (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
In ancient days, the seventh day of the week was known as the Sabbath. Reserved for some of life’s most important yet commonly neglected pursuits, including spending time with one’s family and hours in deep reflection and self-renewal, it provided a chance for hard-working people to renew their batteries and spend a day living life more fully. However, as the pace of life quickened and more activities began to compete for people’s attention, this wonderful tradition was lost along with the tremendous personal benefits that flowed from it.
Stress itself is not a bad thing. It can often help us perform at our best, expand beyond our limits and achieve things that would otherwise astonish us. Just ask any elite athlete. The real problem lies in the fact that in this age of global anxiety we do not get enoughrelief from stress. So to revitalize yourself and nourish the deepest part of you, plan for a weekly period of peace – a weekly sabbatical – to get back to the simpler pleasures of life, pleasures that you may have given up as your days grew busier and your life more complex. Bringing this simple ritual into your weeks will help you reduce stress, connect with your more creative side and feel far happier in every role of your life.
Your weekly sabbatical does not have to last a full day. All you need are a few hours alone, perhaps on a quiet Sunday morning, when you can spend some time doing the things you love to do the most. Ideas include spending time in your favorite bookstore, watching the sun rise, taking a solitary walk along a beach and writing in your journal. Organizing your life so that you get to do more of the things you love to do is one of the first steps to life improvement. Who cares if others don’t understand what you are trying to accomplish by making the weekly sabbatical an essential part of your life. Do it for yourself, you are worth it. In the words of Thoreau, ‘If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.’
11.
Talk to Yourself (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
Years ago, when I was a litigation lawyer who had many of the material trappings of success yet little in the way of inner peace, I read a book calledAs a Man Thinketh by James Allen. The book discussed the enormous power of the human mind to shape our reality and attract great happiness and prosperity into our lives. The work also mentioned the profound influence of the words and language we use on a daily basis to create a more enlightened pathway of thought.
Fascinated, I began to read more and more wisdom and self-help literature. And as I did, I discovered the profound impact and importance of the words we use in our daily communications (both with others and with ourselves) on the quality of our lives. This knowledge also caused me to become aware of the personal dialogue that each of us has going on within us every minute of every hour of every day and to vow to improve the content of what I was saying to myself. To achieve this, I began to apply a strategy developed by the ancient sages over five thousand years ago. And, in many ways, it changed my life.
The technique is a simple one and involves nothing more than selecting a phrase that you will train your mind to focus on at different times throughout the day until it begins to dominate your awareness and reshape the person you are. If it is inner peace and calm you seek, the phrase, known as a mantra, might be, ‘I am so grateful that I am a serene and tranquil person.’ If it is more confidence that you want, your mantra could be, ‘I am delighted that I am full of confidence and boundless courage.’ If it is material prosperity you are after, your saying might be, ‘I am so grateful that money and opportunity is flowing into my life.’
Repeat your mantras softly under your breath as you walk to work, as you wait in line or as you wash the dishes to fill otherwise unproductive times of your day with a powerful life improvement force. Try to say your personal phrase at least two hundred times a day for at least four weeks. The results will be profound as you take one giant step to finding the peace, prosperity and purpose your life requires. As Hazrat Inayat Khan said, ‘The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.’
12.
Schedule Worry Breaks (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
After I wroteThe Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, I was flooded with letters from readers who saw their lives change from the lessons they discovered on becoming happier, more fulfilled and more peaceful in these stress-crazed times. Many of the letters came from people whose work lives had grown so busy that they spent most of their free time worrying about things that should have been left at the office. They had lost the ability to laugh, love and share joy with their families because challenges at work were consuming them.
Too many people are spending the best years of their lives stuck in a state of constant worry. They worry about their jobs, the bills, the environment and their kids. And yet we all know deep in our hearts that most of the things we worry about never happen. It’s like that great saying of Mark Twain’s, ‘I’ve had a lot of trouble in my life, some of which actually happened.’ My father, a particularly wise man who has had a deep influence on my own life, once told me that the Sanskrit character for funeral pyre is strikingly similar to the Sanskrit character for worry. ‘I’m surprised,’ I replied. ‘You shouldn’t be, son,’ he gently offered. ‘One burns the dead while the other burns the living.’
I know how dramatically the worry habit can reduce one’s quality of life from personal experience. While in my late twenties, I was on the so-called fast track to success. I had received two law degrees from one of the country’s most prestigious law schools, served as the law clerk for a Chief Justice and was handling highly complex cases as a litigation lawyer. But I was often working too hard and worrying too much. I was waking up on Monday morning with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and a deep sense that I was wasting my talents on work that was not aligned with the person I was. So I began to search for ways to improve my life, turning first to the self-help and life leadership literature, where I found a wealth of lessons for a more balanced, peace-filled and meaningful existence.
One of the simple strategies I learned to conquer the worry habit was to schedule specific times to worry – what I now call ‘worry breaks’. If we are facing a difficulty, it is easy to spend all our waking hours focusing on it. Instead, I recommend that you schedule fixed times to worry, say, thirty minutes every evening. During this worry session, you may wallow in your problems and brood over your difficulties. But after that period ends, you must train yourself to leave your troubles behind and do something more productive, such as going for a walk in natural surroundings or reading an inspirational book or having a heart-to-heart conversation with someone you love. If during other times of the day you feel the need to worry, jot down what you want to worry about in a notebook which you can then bring to your next worry break. This simple but powerful technique will help you gradually reduce the amount of time you spend worrying and eventually serve to eliminate this habit forever.
13.
Model a Child (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
A while ago, I took my four-year-old son Colby to an Italian restaurant for lunch. It was a beautiful autumn day and, as usual, my young son was full of energy and joy. We both ordered pasta for our main course and then started to enjoy the freshly baked bread our waiter had brought. Little did I know that Colby was about to teach his father yet another lesson in the art of living.
Rather than eating the bread whole as most adults do, Colby took a different, far more creative approach. He began to scoop out the warm, soft part of the bread and left the crust intact. In other words, he had the wisdom to focus on the best part of the bread and leave the rest. Someone once said to me at a seminar, ‘Children come to us more highly evolved than adults to teach us the lessons we need to learn.’ And on that fine day, my little boy reminded me that as so-called grown-ups, we spend too much time focusing on the ‘crust of life’ rather than on all the good things that flow in and out of our days. We focus on our challenges at work, the pile of bills we have to pay and the lack of time to do all those things we need to do. But our thoughts do form our world and what we think about does grow in our lives. What we focus on will determine our destiny and so we must start focusing on the good stuff.
In the weeks ahead, make the time to connect to your more playful side, the child within you. Take the time to study the positive qualities of children and model their ability to stay energized, imaginative and completely in the moment no matter what might be going on around them. And as you do, remember the powerful words of Leo Rosten, who observed:
You can understand and relate to most people better if you look at them – no matter how impressive they may be – as if they are children. For most of us never really grow up or mature all that much – we simply grow taller. Oh, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales.
14.
Remember, Genius Is 99 Percent Inspiration (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
The celebrated inventor Thomas Edison is well known for his statement: ‘Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.’ While I believe that hard work is essential to a life of real success and fulfillment, I think that being filled with a deep sense of inspiration and commitment to making a difference in the world is an even more important attribute.
All of the great geniuses of the world were inspired and driven by their desire to enrich the lives of others. When you study their lives, you will discover that this desire became almost an obsession for most of them. It consumed them and occupied every cell of their minds. Edison was inspired to manifest the visions he saw on the picture screen of his imagination into reality. Jonas Salk, who discovered the polio vaccine, was inspired to help others from suffering from this dreaded affliction. And Marie Curie, the great Nobel Prize-winning scientist, was inspired to serve humanity through her discovery of radium. As Woodrow Wilson said, ‘You are not here to merely make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.’
How inspired are you in your own life? Do you jump out of bed on Monday mornings or do you simply lie there with a sense of emptiness flooding through your body? If your level of inspiration is lower than you know it should be, read a good self-help book or listen to a motivating audiocassette program. Attend a public lecture by someone you admire or spend a few hours studying the biography of one of your heroes. Start spending time with people who are passionate about what they are doing in their lives and dedicated to making the best out of life. With a healthy dose of inspiration, you will quickly raise your life to a whole new plane of living.
15.
Care for the Temple (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
A few months ago, I had lunch with a colleague in the speaking profession. As we discussed the things we did in our lives to stay focused, balanced and at our peak amid the demands of our busy schedules, he made a powerful point. ‘Robin,’ he said, ‘many people regularly go to a church or temple to stay grounded and centered. I’m a little different. I go to the gym – that’s my temple.’ He added that no matter how busy he is, at 5:30 p.m. he closes his office and makes the ‘daily pilgrimage’ to his gym to run a few miles on the treadmill. Nothing can stop him from taking this time to ensure his health and happiness.
My friend’s observation made me think of a saying of the ancient Romans that I quoted in my first bookMegaLiving, ‘mens sana in corpore sano,’ which is Latin for ‘in a sound body rests a sound mind.’ It also made me realize that our bodies need to be treated like temples and considered sacred if we hope to live life fully and completely. Regular exercise will not only improve your health, it will help you think more clearly, boost creativity and manage the relentless stress that seems to dominate our days. And research has proven that exercise will not only add life to your years, it could add years to your life. One study of 18,000 Harvard alumni found that every hour spent on exercise added three hours to the participants’ lives. Few investments will yield a better return than time spent on physical fitness. And remember: ‘Those who don’t make time for exercise must eventually make time for illness.’
In my own life, I have set the goal of swimming five times a week. There is something special about the renewing power of swimming that I cannot begin to describe. I wish I could say I achieve this goal every single week, but I can’t. Yet, having such a lofty objective keeps me focused on how important staying in peak physical condition is for my overall well-being and to the quality of my life. Without fail, every workout in the swimming pool brings the same results: I feel energized, serene, balanced and happy. And my exercise sessions also bring me something that I feel is truly priceless: perspective. After my forty-minute swims, any challenges I might be struggling with seem smaller, any worries I have become trivial and I find myself living fully in the present moment. The act of caring for my physical temple reminds me that life’s greatest pleasures are often life’s simplest ones.
16.
Learn to Be Silent (#u0fd3f2a9-1d3f-5bbc-a6ee-1de94fca7559)
William Wordsworth sagely observed, ‘When from our better selves we have too long been parted by the hurrying world, sick of its business, of its pleasures tired, how gracious, how benign is solitude.’ When was the last time you made the time to be silent and still? When was the last time you carved out a chunk of time to enjoy the power of solitude to restore, refocus and revitalize your mind, body and spirit?
All of the great wisdom traditions of the world have arrived at the same conclusion: to reconnect with who you really are as a person and to come to know the glory that rests within you, you must find the time to be silent on a regular basis. Sure, you are busy. But as Thoreau said: ‘It is not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is what are you so busy about?’
The importance of silence makes me think about the story of an old lighthouse keeper. The man had only a limited amount of oil to keep his beacon lit so that passing ships could avoid the rocky shore. One night, a man who lived close by needed to borrow some of this precious commodity to light his home, so the lighthouse keeper gave him some of his own. Another night, a traveler begged for some oil to light his lamp so he could keep on traveling. The lighthouse keeper also complied with this request and gave him the amount he needed. The next night, the lighthouse keeper was awakened by a mother banging on his door. She prayed for some oil so that she could illuminate her home and feed her family. Again he agreed. Soon all his oil was gone and his beacon went out. Many ships ran aground and many lives were lost because the lighthouse keeper forgot to focus on his priority. He neglected his primary duty and paid a high price. Experiencing solitude, for even a few minutes a day, will keep you centered on your highest life priorities and help you avoid the neglect that pervades the lives of so many of us.
And saying that you don’t have enough time to be silent on a regular basis is a lot like saying you are too busy driving to stop for gas – eventually itwill
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