The Texan's Twins
Jolene Navarro
Big Texan ReunionBetween providing for her five-year-old twins and achieving her dream of running a wildlife sanctuary, Danica Bergmann has no room for anything—or anyone—else. So when the wildlife volunteer she’s taken on turns out to be Reid McAllister, her secret husband, who disappeared before she got a chance to reveal she was pregnant, it flips her world upside down. Six years ago he wasn’t worth chasing down, but Danica can tell Reid’s a changed man—and he’s still the only man she’s ever loved. It’s a long road to redemption, but can Danica learn to trust Reid with their children…and their future?
Big Texan Reunion
Between providing for her five-year-old twins and achieving her dream of running a wildlife sanctuary, Danica Bergmann has no room for anything—or anyone—else. So when the wildlife volunteer she’s taken on turns out to be Reid McAllister, her secret husband, who disappeared before she got a chance to reveal she was pregnant, it flips her world upside down. Six years ago he wasn’t worth chasing down, but Danica can tell Reid’s a changed man—and he’s still the only man she’s ever loved. It’s a long road to redemption, but can Danica learn to trust Reid with their children...and their future?
Danica stared him down.
Let him get angry. She didn’t care.
Her finger thrust against his rock-hard chest. “I waited for you.” Her voice shook. She squared her shoulders. “When I took the first pregnancy test, I was alone. I’ve been alone every step of the way, except for my family. My girls are Bergmanns, and that’s all they know. You showing up on my doorstep does not change the fact they don’t have a father. They never did, and they’re fine—better than fine.”
Mouth open, Reid didn’t say a word. From deep in the back of his throat, his voice emerged. “They’re mine.”
“No. You gave up that right when you decided it was easier just to vanish than tell me what was happening. I’m not talking to you about them.”
Unable to deal with his self-inflicted wounds any longer, she marched past him and into the office. Slamming the door felt better than it should.
A seventh-generation Texan, JOLENE NAVARRO fills her life with family, faith and life’s beautiful messiness. She knows that as much as the world changes, people stay the same: vow-keepers and heartbreakers. Jolene married a vow-keeper who shows her holding hands never gets old. When not writing, Jolene teaches art to inner-city teens and hangs out with her own four almost-grown kids. Find Jolene on Facebook or her blog, jolenenavarrowriter.com (http://www.jolenenavarrowriter.com).
The Texan’s Twins
Jolene Navarro
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
He will turn again, He will have compassion upon us; He will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
—Micah 7:19
This book is dedicated to the tribe of women
that I get the blessing of calling my aunts.
Kathy, Dollye, Nellie, Molly, Jan,
Melody and in memory of Trish.
Thank you for being role models and
inspiration throughout my entire life.
I can’t go without acknowledging the people
that have made the dream of
being a writer my real life.
The brainteam: Alexandra Sokoloff’s
2016 group at West Texas Writer’s Academy.
Also Sasha, Storm and Damon. And a
special thanks to Jeannie Lyons for all her
help. And Matt Sherley for the insight into the
background information of Reid’s arrest.
To my agent, Pam Hopkins, for believing in me
even when I completely doubt myself.
To my editor, Emily Rodmell.
Thank you for working so hard
to make my stories the best they can be.
Contents
Cover (#u9f9921d5-7398-528e-b897-f02f3e9684a0)
Back Cover Text (#u62d1fc32-d2b2-50b9-818d-3aea7adb8268)
Introduction (#u574698b7-1b9b-5e96-8d1c-107cfe7e33ce)
About the Author (#u88f56196-3290-5c6a-b2bc-e4702da36b4f)
Title Page (#u1a9a3209-3994-5b46-8881-afdb0a616b7e)
Bible Verse (#u374a4738-8249-517f-80fe-8ccb19292895)
Dedication (#u1fb208e5-cd6c-52ba-80a3-7058d30be2c0)
Chapter One (#u8de1a60d-97ef-5431-b6da-cea54812b8ec)
Chapter Two (#ue267ecd3-72ad-50a6-be78-7ad965595721)
Chapter Three (#u04fe289d-54fa-5abe-a101-b8ee2f538ac9)
Chapter Four (#ua799d644-ade4-50b4-910c-3d10ba51329e)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)
Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#u621185ce-64f6-5df7-8615-4880a3441ad0)
The numbers blurred on the computer screen as the reality of Danica’s financial situation became clear. The bank statement bore the proof that her dream of a thriving animal sanctuary was morphing into a nightmare. She rubbed her eyes and opened the grant proposal file.
Linda Edward had trusted her to take care of the fur babies. Danica’s father thought it was a waste of time and money, but it wasn’t only her dream in jeopardy. The animals depended on the facility. There were a couple of big cats and a crippled bear that had nowhere else to go.
She leaned back and sighed. Was she fighting so hard just to prove her father wrong? He had always been right before. Glancing above her desk, she took the time to count her blessings.
Most days, the montage of family pictures and her daughters’ artwork inspired her. Including one photo with her and her mother bottle-feeding an injured fawn. It had been taken the week before her mother’s accident. Danica had been the same age her twins were now when she lost her mother.
Her sisters reassured her their mom would be one hundred percent on board with the sanctuary. Nikki, her oldest sister, told her to ignore her father’s grumbling. It was just his way of dealing with anxiety. With her history, he had a good reason to worry.
Scanning the happy memories and big life events, she realized one was missing. The only photo from her wedding. It was hidden away in her room, deep in her closet. She’d thought about burning it, but one day her twins might have questions.
Her daughters. Her fingertips brushed the rhinestone clusters along the edge of the frame the girls had made. They had their father’s beautiful eyes. As much as Reid’s abandonment had almost destroyed her, he’d also given her the greatest gift. Her five-year-old twins inspired her to be a fighter.
Leaning back, she pulled a folder from the cabinet behind her. Enough musing—she had a future to figure out. The past was the past.
Danica needed a plan to save the animals. Otherwise, the wildlife rescue would be forced to close its doors, and she’d lose the land. The spiral of death swirled on the outdated computer. Waiting, she swiveled the old office chair to the right. The large window faced the east.
From here, she could see a couple of ponies playing with a miniature donkey. They’d been rescued from a roadside carnival, and now the trio romped in the sun.
Finally, the file opened. Before she started, a vehicle crunched the gravel in the front drive. Praying it was the exciting news James had hinted about at church on Sunday, she made her way to the door. As the local parole officer, he often sent her workers that needed community hours. Free labor was always a win.
The old unmarked Uvalde County car came to a stop at her door. Hope surged through her veins. James Bolton was also on her board, and he knew she needed someone who could manage the unique diet plans and daily health issues of multiple species, along with transportation. It was hard to find trained and experienced people who were willing to work for free. If he had a parolee with that background, it would be a perfect fit for what she needed to complete the application.
Standing next to the patrol car, James waved. “Hey, beautiful. I come bearing gifts. You can take me to the movies to show your gratitude.” He wiggled his dark blond eyebrows.
She shook her head and grinned. The county officer was always flirting with her, but she never took him seriously. “James Bolton, you’d hate the movie I’d make you see.” She glanced to the passenger’s side of the car. He went around to open the back door, but the man stayed inside. With the partition between the seats, she couldn’t make out much.
If he was a vet tech, she might run and hug him. On the edge of the step, she turned to James. “Please tell me your latest ward is certified in animal husbandry?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Everything inside her wanted to dance and sing. She lifted her face to the sun. Thank You, God.
A hand appeared on the top of the door, and in slow motion the man straightened. His head stayed down, the cowboy hat blocking his face. He was over six feet tall and well built. Younger than she’d expected. He didn’t move. She hoped he was all right.
The man just stood there for a while. He removed his cowboy hat and slowly raised his head. His eyes reached hers.
A rush of ice froze her blood in its place. There was no way. She could not be seeing the person she thought she was seeing. It didn’t make sense. Rubbing her eyes, she looked again. His dark skin highlighted startling gray-green eyes that stared straight at her. The exact same eyes as her daughters’.
“Danica, this is my latest parolee, Reid McAllister. He comes with exceptional references and the experience you need. Reid, this is...”
James kept talking, but he no longer existed in her world. Reid McAllister stood in front of her. The man who had vowed to love her forever, before she knew how short forever was.
After a six-year vanishing act, her husband, the father of her twins, stood at the steps of her sanctuary.
Her heart stopped, and her knees went numb. To remain standing, she wrapped her fingers around the post. Her girls!
In a panic, her gaze darted around the area. The girls weren’t here. They were safe with her sister. Forcing her attention back to James, she took a deep breath and tried to gain control of her brain.
That was a problem she always had around Reid. Crazy sounded fun and reasonable. But the impulsive, reckless girl she’d been was gone now. She needed sensible, rational thoughts.
No one knew she was foolish enough to elope and marry a man her father didn’t even like, except the man standing in front of her. A parolee.
Reid in prison? She was going to lose her lunch.
Strong fingers gripped her elbow. Blinking, she focused on her friend. He was safe. James stepped closer. “Do you need to sit down? Are you sick? What’s wrong?”
He led her to the large wooden bench by the front door. Looking over the uniformed shoulder, she found Reid. At some point, he had moved closer to her and now stood at the bottom of the steps, hands in his pockets.
His expression was as hard as the cold stone of the Texas Hill Country. This man wasn’t her Reid.
Her Reid had always had a smile and a spark in his eyes for her. The gray-green of his irises struck her, but they looked flat and cold now. His black hair was cropped close to his skull. What had he done to end up in prison, and why hadn’t he told her?
She rubbed her head. “It hurts.”
“I’m going to get you some water and aspirin. Don’t move.” James disappeared through the front door.
Reid was as still as a snake trying to hide in the tall grass. He just stood there and stared at her, his full lips in a small snarl. Acting like a rescue animal that didn’t trust anyone, even the ones trying to help. He had no right to be mad at her. She was the injured party here.
“Are you dating him?” Each word tight and low.
Anger jolted through her. Standing, she took a step forward, then stopped. “Six years without a word and...that’s not any of your business.”
There was a slight shift in his expression, but then the I-couldn’t-care-less face was back in place. He shrugged. “Are we still married?”
“What?” Lowering her head into her hands, she dropped back onto the bench. She just couldn’t process this. “I got one call from you, telling me our marriage was a mistake. That was it. No way to get ahold of you to make sure you were all right. You were just gone. I thought you had gone back to New Orleans.”
Through a haze of confusion, she studied his face. His throat tightened, but there was no other change in his expression. “You show up at my door, asking me if we’re still married. You can’t be real.”
She’d thought a new parolee had been an answer to a prayer. Was this some horrible joke?
Reid looked down the drive that had brought him here. “Baby, as soon as he comes back, I’ll tell him I can’t do it. He can take me back to the ranch.”
“Which ranch?” Sweat slipped down her spine, causing her to shiver. His voice made her want to cry for everything he had taken from her. Baby. She used to love the way he called her baby with that accent.
That voice carried her back to the days she loved just sitting and listening to him talk. He had been twelve when Katrina sent his family to Houston. The rhythm and sounds of New Orleans still rolled off each syllable. She shook her head. It didn’t change what he did. “Reid, I don’t understand. Why are you here?”
“I took a job at Hausman Ranch. I’m a wrangler.” The door opened, and Reid retreated. She needed to talk to him, to find out where he’d been. Why had he left her? Prison. Why had Reid been in prison? Questions bombarded her brain faster than she could process them.
Her nails cut into her palm. If she didn’t know yesterday, she didn’t need to know today. He was her past and needed to stay that way.
James sat next to her. “Here, take this.”
She took the painkiller he offered and the mason jar of ice water. Long slow drinks of the cool water soothed her burning throat. She needed time. Her brain was overloaded. “Thank you.” She cupped the large-mouth jar in both hands and studied the ice before risking a glance in Reid’s direction.
He stood with his hands braced on the top of the car, head down. “Officer Bolton, can you take me back? She doesn’t want a convict working at her place.”
James shook his head. “I bring her parolees all the time.” With narrowed eyes, James faced her again. “Plus, she needs someone with your skills. Danica, are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to call Jackie or your dad?”
“No!” Taking a deep breath, she willed her blood pressure to slow down. “I’m fine. I’ve been sitting all day working on the paperwork for the application. I didn’t eat lunch. I must have gotten up too fast. Just dizzy.”
James didn’t look like he believed her. With one hand on her shoulder, he leaned closer. “Are you sure? You need to take better care of yourself.”
She managed a smile. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Reid turned. Leaving his profile for her to study. There was a harder edge to his jaw than she remembered. A scar that hadn’t been there before cut next to his ear. Her stupid heart missed a beat. No, no, no.
With his back now leaning on the patrol car, he stared out across the five-hundred-acre sanctuary. He crossed his arms, causing his shirt to pull tight over his broad shoulders. He’d filled out, gotten stronger. He’s been in prison.
“Reid was a pre-vet student from your old stomping ground over at A&M. In prison, there was a rodeo program, and he worked with large animals. He was able to finish an associate’s degree in animal husbandry. You need him to get the funding, right?” James turned to Reid. “She’s in a rough place, and the sanctuary needs the global certification to qualify for a grant that will give her the funds needed to keep the place running.”
His gaze found her. “So, you’re the veterinarian?” A line formed between Reid’s eyes as he spoke.
“I didn’t finish college. I had to come home my junior year.” Let him think about that.
James kept talking as he stood. “No, she’s not the vet. Dr. Ortiz out of Uvalde serves as the vet. I sit on the Hill Country Wildlife Rescue Board. When I got your paperwork, it was a true gift from God. Thought I’d surprise her and get to play the hero. You know, save the day, keep the sanctuary open and all that.” He laughed. “Actually get a date.”
“James.” She was not in the mood to deal with his jokes.
Reid’s head jerked around, his sharp gaze penetrating. “Without my help, you might have to shut down?”
She hated to admit it, but yes. She needed Reid McAllister. Well, the animals needed him. She didn’t want anything to do with him. With a nod, she got to her feet. “Yes.” She had to wonder at God’s timing.
Bobby, the groundskeeper, came from behind the building. Even though he was pushing seventy, his tall frame moved with well-earned confidence. He outworked any of the younger guys she had on the property. The sun weathered his face, digging deep creases into his skin. With his steel gray mustache, Danica liked to think of him as her own Sam Elliott.
The officer greeted him and shook his hand. “Reid, this is Robert Campbell. He lives here on the grounds and takes care of everything. Reid here has a degree in animal husbandry.”
Bobby stepped forward and offered his hand. “You’re one of Jimmy’s parolees?”
Reid gave a stiff nod as he shook the older man’s hand. “Yes, sir.”
“What were you in for?” Bobby kept Reid’s hand firmly in his. They stood eye to eye, both over six feet with the muscular frames of hardworking men.
“Transporting drugs across state lines.” His stance and gaze stayed steady as he met Bobby’s question head-on.
She pressed her hands against her rapid heartbeat. She needed to calm down. “Did you do it?” Her voice struggled to climb out of her throat. She couldn’t imagine her Reid doing anything like that. Maybe he’d been framed.
He pulled his hand from Bobby’s and shrugged. “When someone offers you a couple thousand dollars to drive a car from one state to another, you know. Even if you don’t ask and they don’t tell. But I thought a shortcut to money was worth the risk.”
“Sounds like there was a girl you wanted to impress.” Bobby adjusted his cowboy hat. “It’s always about a girl. I had a little run-in with the law myself when I was younger. It didn’t pay off.” He glanced at his watch. “Well, I got animals waiting for me.” He nodded at Danica. “Remember, I’m just one click away if you need anything.” Turning back to Reid, he pointed to his walkie-talkie. “I always have this, so if she needs me, I’m there. Nice meeting you.” With the last word, he left.
James shifted his attention to Danica. “Are you feeling better? I could bring Reid back tomorrow.”
If she wanted a fighting chance to keep the sanctuary running, she didn’t have a choice. “I’m good. Whatever it was, I’m over it.”
She was over loving her husband, too, so why did he have to show up now and throw her heart into an undertow? Pulling her denim jacket tighter over her chest, Danica peeked at Reid from the corner of her vision. She was stronger than some leftover love that had dug into the bottom of her heart. “I could take you on a tour if you still want to do your community service here.”
He nodded. Grim would have been a happy description compared to the hard set of his jaw and eyes.
She was going to have to keep him away from her daughters and her family. What would he do if he found out he was a father? Would he even care?
* * *
Reid fell in behind Danica. Somehow, she was more beautiful than the last time he’d seen her. Of course, he hadn’t known it would be the last time.
Easy money was never really easy. Reid had known better, but he’d thought a few days to make enough money to impress her father would set them on the right path. The few days had turned into six years, and he was pretty sure her family hated him now more than back then.
It was not the path God intended. But being young and impatient, he hadn’t had enough faith to wait. Now the best thing that had ever happened to him was out of his reach.
Officer Bolton took a call and moved away from them. Danica stopped and glanced back at the officer.
Being this close to her was dangerous for his sanity. The sun was high over the hills, and a soft breeze played with her red curls, picking up golden highlights. A random strand crossed her face, and she tucked it away only to have it fall loose again.
Her hair always fascinated him. He’d called it red. She’d told him it was strawberry blond. From that day on, he’d loved strawberries.
She wore it shorter now. In college, it hung below her waist. Fisting his hands, Reid stuffed them in his back pockets to keep from touching her.
This was not how he’d imagined their first meeting, and he had spent hours daydreaming about it. Then again, prison wasn’t in his plan on the day he had promised to love her forever.
She cut a hard glare at him. Caught staring, he suddenly found his worn boots fascinating. He had no right to be thinking of her or looking at her.
From the corner of his eye, he glanced at the porch. She scanned the area with short jerky movements. Taking a step closer to him, she twisted and lowered her head, trying to make eye contact with him. He gave in and stared right at her.
The connection didn’t last long. Danica quickly looked away. “You’ve been in prison? I don’t understand. Why are you here now? After all this time?” She bit her lip and straightened. Back stiff and arms crossed, she looked off to the surrounding hills.
Reid had always loved the way she showed her emotions around him, not afraid or ashamed. But now he could see her fighting back the tears, fighting to be stoic with each blink. Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. Instinct told him to hold her, to reassure her.
Stalling for time, he cleared his throat and prayed for the right words. Fully aware there weren’t any. “Baby, I know sorry is not good enough for what I did to you, but it’s all I have.”
No explanation was good enough. He shrugged. “I didn’t mean to show up on your doorstep unannounced this way. I didn’t know he was bringing me to you.” His throat was still dry, but he had so many words he needed to say to her. “He just told me a wildlife rescue program needed a vet tech.”
When his mentor had showed him a list of jobs needing his skills, he couldn’t believe there was a ranch close to her hometown. Wanting to see her so badly, he thought maybe it was God giving him an opportunity to make it right. Now he realized it could have been his pride. “If me being here is a mistake, let me know and I’ll leave.”
An annoyed sound came from her beautiful lips. “What did you hope to achieve? I’ve moved on. You told me you had decided to go home. That our marriage was a mistake and you wouldn’t be back. One phone call and you left me without a way to get in touch. You just left.” Her breathing was short and hard.
The numbness that encased his heart a couple of years ago slipped a bit, and he stood before her with fresh wounds. He rubbed his face and focused on the hills. He didn’t have the strength to be near her and not want to be in her life. She had been his until he’d destroyed their future. He knew right then that without her forgiveness, he was still in prison.
“Danica, our marriage was a mistake. My family tradition is failure, prison and violence. I thought I had escaped, but it followed me. I’m not asking to be part of your life, but I’m here with the skills you need. Let me help until you get someone else.” He clenched his jaw and looked over her shoulder at the building behind her. Chipped paint revealed years of neglect.
His own father had destroyed his beautiful Creole mother. Now the promises he’d made Danica lay shattered on the ground. To keep his hands out of trouble, he stuffed them in his pockets. His gaze was not as easy to control. Tall and lean, she was so much stronger than his mother.
At least he hadn’t brought children into this mess.
Without a word, she stared at him. Guilt and shame were heavy burdens to carry. Lowering his head, he took deep breaths. In prison, he’d learned really quickly to avoid eye contact, and it was hard to change the habit.
Officer Bolton joined them. “Call just came across the radio. During a drug bust on the edge of the county, they got a surprise in the basement. They found a caged bear and an old black jaguar. The cat has a bad leg. There was talk of putting the animals down. I told them I was with you, and we could transport the animals here. I already called Dr. Ortiz to meet us there.” He smiled at Reid. “Initiation by fire. It looks like you’re jumping into the deep end today.”
Reid looked at his wife. No, he couldn’t think of her in those terms. It was too dangerous to get wrapped up in what could have been. Her hard glare felt like heat burning his skin, starting at his neck and traveling down.
Bolton slapped him on the back, causing him to jerk around. The officer laughed. “You go in the truck with Danica. She’ll update you. I’ll wait for you to gather your things, and you can follow me.” With a big smile, he headed to his patrol car. “Welcome to the world of rescue.”
“Come on, Mr. McAllister.” She didn’t wait for him. “I need to get the supplies. Have you moved large sedated animals before?”
He followed. “A few times, Mrs. McAllister.”
She stopped in front of him, and he bumped into her back. His hands went to her arms to prevent her from falling forward. He shouldn’t have been so close. In that instant, he reacted as if she was still his. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent, savoring the shape of her arms under his hands.
With a twist, she was out of his reach. Her breathing made her shoulders rise and fall in quick succession. “I never changed my name. I’m a Bergmann, and we don’t forget. And we sure don’t forgive easily. So, you will call me Ms. Bergmann. No one knows I married you, and it will stay that way.”
With the precision of a general, she turned and marched to the small house. He followed. He had a feeling he would follow her to his death if she let him.
Sometimes when something was broken, fixing it wasn’t an option. The best a person could do was throw it away and move on. God, is this where You wanted me, or am I being a stubborn fool?
Chapter Two (#u621185ce-64f6-5df7-8615-4880a3441ad0)
The patrol car slowed down in what looked to be the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothing. Perfect place for activities that needed to be hidden from the law. Except they found this one.
“Is it safe for you to be out here?” He didn’t like the idea of her being around these kinds of lowlifes, the kind that made up his family.
With a quick glare, she gave him his answer loud and clear. It left a bitter burn in his gut to see the hostility coming from eyes that used to look on him with love.
They followed the county car down a narrow, overgrown dirt road. It was another five or six miles deep into the wooded ranch before they came up to a fortress-like structure. Who would want a home that looked like a prison on the outside?
Once through the gate, a building that looked more like a Malibu beach house appeared before them. Several different types of law enforcement were coming in and out of the house. Boxes and computers were being loaded into vans.
Cold sweat broke out over Reid’s entire body, and his skin shrunk around his bones. Three breaths in and one long exhale helped a little. They were not here for him. They weren’t taking him back to the small windowless concrete cell. He was free and not doing anything that would put him back there.
“Reid? Are you okay?” Hearing her voice calmed him better than all his coping techniques and self-induced pep talks.
Trying to give her a reassuring smile, he nodded. “Just a few too many uniforms with weapons for my peace of mind.”
Officer Bolton tapped her window and waited for her to roll it down. “Dr. Ortiz is right behind us. I’ll find out the location of the animals so you can park the trailer close.”
She opened the door. “I’ll come with you. I have a couple of questions before we enter the area with the jaguar and bear.” Over her shoulder, she talked to Reid. “Wait here. When I get the information, can you move the trailer up to the area we’ll be exiting with the animals?”
With a nod, he got out of the truck and moved to the driver’s side. A few of the officers glanced at him. He kept his head down and counted his breaths.
The ex-con label would be attached to him until the day he died and beyond. He gritted his teeth. It would be part of his life forever now, so he’d better get used to it.
Nothing new. Every male in his family carried the stigma. Being the only one to finish high school hadn’t saved him from his family tradition. He popped his knuckles. Could they tell by looking at him?
Before he hid inside the cab, a large white truck with several compartments in the back pulled up next to him. A tall Hispanic woman stepped out. She came straight to Reid with an inviting grin and her hand out. Reid had to wonder if she bleached her teeth or if they were naturally so white and perfect.
“Hi, I’m Sandra Ortiz. I’m Danica’s on-call veterinarian. Since I’ve never met you, I’m hoping she finally found a vet tech with an animal husbandry degree.”
“Reid McAllister. Yes, I’m her new vet tech. For now.”
The woman’s smile went bigger as they shook hands. “Good, good. I told her not to worry. God would provide.”
Reid wasn’t sure if it was God or his selfish desire, but he didn’t say anything.
“Hey, Sandy.” Danica returned and gave the other woman a quick hug. “Seems we have a full-grown male jaguar and a very young bear cub in the basement.”
With quick, efficient motions, the vet started pulling equipment from the back of her truck. “Congratulations on the new vet tech. I’ll call Gloria and let her know to close the search.”
“Oh, no. Don’t do that. Reid is one of James’s parolees. He’s here temporarily, so the faster I can get someone in full-time the better.”
Reid saw it. The friendliness turned to suspicion the second the doctor learned she was talking with a convicted criminal. He needed to get used to it.
Every time he started over, people would know, and he’d be an ex-con for the rest of his life. An ex-con without a home or family.
* * *
Danica loaded the rifle with the dart Dr. Ortiz had prepared, taking careful aim at the black jaguar as it paced and growled in the small enclosure. There were white patches of hair sprinkled over his coat, indications of old wounds and injuries.
They would have to move fast once she shot him. Anger welled up at the humans who had caged this beautiful wild animal and removed his front claws. His fangs were coated with gold, and a gaudy diamond collar was too snug around his neck. One of his hind legs was not bearing weight.
They’d already removed the young bear cub. She was small enough for Reid to carry her to the large crate secured in the trailer. He now hung back from the other men. Backed into a dark corner, much like the young bear they’d found huddled in her cage.
“Is she going to shoot the cat through the bars of the cage?” She couldn’t see who Reid asked, but her husband’s low voice caressed her skin.
It had taken her almost two years to get him out of her mind. She stopped missing him four years ago, but it seemed as if parts of her heart had already forgotten she didn’t love him anymore.
She sighed. “Some of us are working over here if you don’t mind. The big guy is already scared, and I want to make him as comfortable as possible.” Bringing the rifle back to her shoulder, she cast the big cat in her sight. As soon as she pulled the trigger, the jaguar snapped at the spot she hit on his rump. It didn’t take him long to go down.
“We need to move fast.”
Reid didn’t hesitate a minute. He attacked each of the steps like a pro. Dr. Ortiz was working right alongside him as he finished securing a cloth over the animal’s eyes to keep the cat calm when he woke. With James and a couple other men, they lifted the cat onto a long board and carried him out.
The entire time, Reid talked in a quiet voice to the animal while they moved him. The same voice that calmed her when she was upset or stressed.
First thing in the morning, she would start calling her contacts and get the application to the National Wildlife Federation turned in ASAP. She needed to get Reid out of her life, the sooner, the better.
With the animals secured, Reid disappeared inside the truck as she went to touch base with the lead officer.
Unfortunately, he was waiting for her with three more crates. The day was not quite over. She would be leaving with more than the two in the trailer. “The animals are secured. The basement is all yours. What do you have there?”
“Goats. Six kids. We crated them so you could load them quickly.” He smiled as if they were a gift.
James came up behind her and touched her arm. “I’ll help you with these. I know time is sensitive.” He picked up the one closest to him, and the two goats inside started bleating.
Reid joined them. “Is everything okay?” He kept his gaze on her, ignoring the FBI agent.
“Seems as if we have a few more additions to our family. Baby goats.” She looked from the FBI agent Reid was avoiding to the crated goats. “Reid, place them in the bed of the truck. There are bungees in the back seat.”
With a quick nod, he went to work.
A short time later she drove over the hills, back to her struggling sanctuary, with six baby goats, a black bear cub, an old jaguar and one secret husband in tow.
How had this become her life?
God, I’m working on turning this worry over to You, but right now I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Lord, please show me what to do!
“Did you say something?” Reid kept looking over his shoulder, to the cargo they were hauling.
She didn’t think she said anything out loud. Great. Now she was mumbling to herself. “Just having a conversation with God. The babies are safe. No one will get out.”
“What about the jaguar? The tranquilizer will wear off soon.” He looked back again, his brow furrowed.
“Reid, this isn’t my first rodeo. I know what I’m doing. We might have to sedate the big guy again before we can unload him. I’ve gotten good at working with wild animals, and I know how unpredictable they can be. I promise I’ve got this under control.”
“The bear looks too young to be away from her mother. Will you have to hand-raise her?”
“Yes, but we’ll keep hands off as much as possible. She’ll be assigned a number. Once she’s old enough, we’ll either release her into the wild or the bear section on the ranch. You were great, by the way. Some people have a hard time working with the big animals, even when they’re out.”
“I learned to work fast while staying calm. It’s the best way to survive when you have a two-thousand-pound bull that needs medical attention. I’ve never been this close to a big cat. He’s stunning.”
“He’s a beauty.” This didn’t seem real. She was sitting with the man she married six years ago, talking as if he hadn’t walked out on her and their daughters. She glanced at him. He was checking the trailer again. “Why did you move close to my hometown? Did you know I was living here?”
“You were always close to your family, and I couldn’t imagine you being away from your twin sister for too long. When we talked about the future, it involved Clear Water and your family. So even if you hadn’t moved back home, I knew you would be around. I meant it when I said I hadn’t planned on blindsiding you like this.” He turned to face her. His gray-green eyes scanned her face before coming back to meet her gaze.
With a sharp breath, she turned her focus on the rural highway. Just because Reid’s eyes still did things to her insides didn’t mean it was wise to trust him. That was more evidence that she needed to be wary and keep her distance.
“But why even come back to the Hill Country? Why not New Orleans or Houston? Don’t you have family in both of those places?” It would have been so much better if he stayed away. She had gotten good at the out-of-sight-out-of-mind game she played with herself.
“None that I want to claim. There’s nothing in Houston or New Orleans for me other than trouble. While in prison, I met Ray Martinez. His church had a prison ministry and organized Bible studies. He changed my life. Well, God used him to change me.”
Her jaw started to hurt, making her take a deep breath to relax. The resentment burning in her gut would turn toxic if she allowed it to fester. “I tried to get you to church the whole time we were dating. You were always too busy.” Sarcasm might not be the best option, but it made her feel better. “So, you found God in prison, and now you want to right all your wrongs?”
“It’s not that easy.”
He was fortunate she didn’t throw things at him. Hand over hand, she turned off the highway onto the farm-to-market road that led to the sanctuary. Silence lingered, and she let it hang between them. She needed to focus on the hurt and abused animals and her daughters. She had to figure out what would be best for them.
Pulling up to the large gate, she rolled down her window. The Texas heat hit her. It felt good in contrast with the coldness of the cab. Leaning out the window, she punched in the code for the gate. The gate paused halfway. She hit the box, and it started moving again. She needed someone to look at the motor. Maybe her baby sister would do it for free.
Dr. Ortiz followed along with Reid’s parole officer. Her long-lost husband had a parole officer. There was no reason for him to know about the twins, and her innocent girls didn’t have to find out their father was a convict.
Once parked, they all got out and sedated the cat again. As a team, they moved fast to get the cat in an exam room so Sandy could check him. There was an old break in his hind leg that they wouldn’t be able to correct. Bruises and small cuts covered his body. While the vet and Danica tended to the big guy, Reid stayed at the jaguar’s head the whole time, keeping him calm and watching for signs of stress.
Removing the gold caps from the deadly fangs, Sandy shook her head. “I just don’t understand people. Taking a beautiful animal and turning him into a freak show for their warped entertainment.”
Lowering the table, they slid him into an enormous wooden crate. As Danica closed the door, the cat lashed out and caught the edge of Reid’s hand with its teeth.
Once Danica secured the latch, she grabbed his hand. Without asking, she pulled him to the sink. “I don’t think it needs stitches.” She glanced at Dr. Ortiz. “What do you think?”
Reid tensed under her touch as they crowded around his minuscule injury. She glanced up and found him staring off at the crated cat. “Are you okay?”
He jerked his chin. “I’ve had much worse.”
Sandy went to the cabinets and came back with ointments and bandages. “It’s not deep. I think you’ll just need to keep it clean and bandaged for a few days.”
“After checking the cub, we’ll need to fill out an incident report.” Danica kept her head down.
Both women worked on his hand. At one point, he tried to pull back. His free hand rubbed his forehead. “It was my fault. You don’t need to write him up. He was scared, and we all have the instinct to protect ourselves.”
He didn’t flinch once while they worked on the cut. “The cat’s not going to get in trouble.” She carefully added the small metal clip to hold the wrap in place. “But I do have to write up the incident. Not following the rules is what gets us in trouble. Hiding the truth doesn’t help anyone.” Her voice grew a little stronger than it needed to be.
Sandy gave Reid a hard look. “We can’t put the refuge at risk because of a simple documentation you don’t want to take the time to fill out.”
Reid rolled his neck and looked down, a frown on his face. This wasn’t Sandy’s fight, so Danica wasn’t sure what happened to the vet’s usual friendly manner. Possibly she was having a tough day. Danica could relate to that. Instead of wasting time trying to figure out other people’s problems, she went to the baby bear.
The small black bear looked healthy, except for being a little underweight and hungry. Sandy filled out the health form. “He’ll need to be hand-fed for now.”
The little bear seemed to have bonded with Reid, wanting to cling to him. Danica went into the kitchen area to fix her a bottle. Sandy followed her.
“I need to go. I’ll take the new guy with me and drop him off wherever he belongs. Or I could take him to Bobby.”
“He’s fine. It’s been a while since we had a baby of this type, so I need Reid to help prep the enclosure.”
“I don’t think that’s wise. I’d stay, but I need to finish my rounds. He’s not staying here, is he?” Disgust dripped from each word.
Danica stopped mixing the formula and looked at Sandy. “No, he has a job as a wrangler at the Hausman ranch. What’s wrong with you? We use parolees all the time.”
“All the others stayed with Bobby to get their hours. Are you so naive that you don’t worry about being alone with an ex-con? Worse, as a vet tech he has access to everything in the office and will be spending most of his time with you. Alone. You just met him today. Do you even know what he did?” Her friend and vet looked more vexed than she had ever seen. She stood with her arms crossed.
“James Bolton is his parole officer. He wouldn’t bring a dangerous convict out here. The charge was transporting drugs.”
Sandy’s eyes went wide. “You have a drug dealer in here. Do you realize some of the drugs kept here have high street value?”
Danica tried to stop the eye roll, but she wasn’t sure she was entirely successful. Sandy didn’t know how well she knew Reid. “I’m not stupid enough to trust him. Yes, he’s an ex-con, and yes, I have everything of value locked away. I need his expertise to get my paperwork finished and filed. As soon as you find me a vet tech with the right degree, he’s gone.” Thrusting her hip out, she pointed to her walkie-talkie. “Bobby is one click away.”
Reid cleared his throat from the doorway. The cub curled in his arms, lying against his chest, sound asleep. Her traitorous heart thought of him holding their daughters. Heat caused her skin to burn. “Reid—”
“A girl named Sarah is here. She said to let you know she’s feeding the orphaned bats.” His eyes looked more gray than green before he returned to the other room.
Sandy stepped in front of Danica as she started following Reid. “Now, don’t go feeling sorry for him. He’s a criminal. You know I’ve always been uncomfortable with having the parolees out here.”
The need to apologize ate at her. “He’s a human who is trying to do the right thing.”
“You’ve known him one day. That man is not one of your rescue projects. He’s a grown adult that knows right from wrong, and he chose wrong.”
“You don’t know him.”
“Neither do you. Unfortunately, I do know men like him. He’ll get what he wants and leave you smashed and bleeding. When he’s taken everything he needs, he’ll walk out without a backward glance.” Sandy reached out and took the bottle from her. “Trust me. I know what I’m talking about. I’ll get this to Sarah. When I leave, I’ll take the con with me.”
Danica took the bottle back. “Thank you for the warning, but I’ve got this. You can go. I’ll have Bobby take Reid back to the Hausman Ranch. By the way, he has a name. Reid. And just like my animals, he deserves to be treated with respect. Okay?”
She sighed. “You sure you got this?”
“Yes.” She laid her hand on Sandy’s arm. “Thank you for caring, but I know what I’m doing.”
With a grunt, Sandy shook her head. “Those words almost guarantee impending doom.”
Going into the other room, they found Reid in the rocking chair. The cub was still asleep curled up in his arms. Danica grabbed the long leather gloves and prepared to feed the new baby. Sandy glared at Reid. “I’ll be back out tomorrow to do a follow-up. Will you be back?”
He nodded. “I have the early shift at the ranch, so I’ll be here at two o’clock.”
The vet turned to Danica. “I’ll be here at two. We can evaluate if the big guy is ready for release and do a follow-up with the little one.” With one last hostile stare at Reid, Sandy left.
Danica sighed and reached for the bear. The smell of the formula in the bottle had her awake and making noises. She couldn’t help but laugh at her antics. “Poor baby is hungry.”
A loud rumble came from Reid’s stomach. She raised a brow. “Are you needing to be fed, too? When did you eat last?”
His golden tan skin flushed a bit. He shook his head and kept his eyes focused on the bear.
“Reid. When did you eat last?”
He shrugged. “We had an early breakfast at the ranch.”
Knowing ranch life, that would have been before sunup. “It’s after four! Why didn’t you say something?” The bear finished the last of the mixture.
“Sorry. Making my own decisions still feels odd. After six years, I got used to others telling me what to do and when to do it. Some habits are hard to shake.”
That made her heart break a little. She remembered the carefree young man who loved being outdoors, riding bulls, drawing and poetry. She fell so hard in love with him. But like Sandy said, she didn’t know this Reid.
She wanted to know why he did it. Why Reid gave up on them so quickly. If they had worked hard, they could have made it. He hadn’t had enough faith in them. “I have some sandwich stuff in the refrigerator.”
The bear moved and crawled up his leg, trying to get under his shirt. “Are you going to give her a new name? Her collar said Slasher.” He gently pulled her out and hugged the bear close. “I don’t like that name.”
“With the intent to keep them wild, we have a policy not to humanize them. She’ll be assigned a number for her file, but no name. You shouldn’t hold her so much.”
“Babies need to be held. So she’ll get a number? Will she spend the night in the crate?”
Taking the cub out of his arms, she put her back into the wooden structure. They placed blankets and a floppy stuffed bear for her to cuddle. “After I feed you, we can clean and prep a large enclosure we made a couple of years ago for two orphaned bears. She’ll live there until we can release her in the bear habitat. If we do this right, she could be a candidate for release into the wild. We don’t want her to rely on humans too much.”
With the baby tucked away, she went to the central building. One of the volunteer college students was doing homework while covering their twenty-four-hour hotline. “Hi, Diego. This is Reid McAllister. He’s our new vet tech.” The men shook hands. “Is Sarah still here?”
“She was bathing the bats a minute ago.”
She introduced Reid to Sarah and the orphaned bats, then headed to the kitchen. Digging in the refrigerator she found enough supplies to make two sandwiches. They finished their meal in silence.
There were a hundred ways to start a conversation with her secret husband, but she needed to keep it professional until he left for good. With empty plates in the sink, they went outside. They got in her favorite ATV, a double-seated four-wheeler that looked like a golf cart on steroids. The large enclosure was deep in the ranch.
“What happened?” Reid pointed to the old homestead as they passed it, a ranch house built in 1918.
“When Linda, the owner, was moved to full-time care, the house caught fire. It was small, and it just took out the back room, but it did enough damage that it would take lots of money to restore it. It had been her plan that the caretaker of the sanctuary would live there.”
“Aren’t you the caretaker?” His gaze moved from the turn-of-the-century old rock home to her.
She blinked. Another dream put aside. She had planned to move out of her father’s house with the girls, but for now, she was grateful they had a safe place to live. “Yeah, but all the available funds have gone into the direct care of the animals.” She sighed. “I always wanted to. Maybe someday.” But at this rate, she doubted it. When did faith turn into stubbornness? Would she even be able to tell the difference?
As the enclosure came into view, Bobby waved. He had already started pulling the old bedding out. She parked and got off the cart with Reid to join Bobby. With the three of them working, it didn’t take long to get the chain-fence enclosure ready for the newest baby on the ranch. Reid stood in the center after they finished, sweating. He had dragged a large tree branch that was knocked down in the last storm. “Where do you want this?”
“We can tie it to the corner post and the stand. It will give her something natural to climb on and sleep in if she wants. From here, she can also get in the hammock, too.”
A small book fell from Reid’s pocket when he bent over to grab at the tree again. Without thinking, she reached down, and they bumped heads. “Sorry.” She picked up the leather book. It was a Bible. “You carry a Bible with you now?”
He took it and grunted.
She looked down and noticed a couple of yellow ribbons had slipped from his pocket, as well. “Oh, Reid.”
In college, he’d told her the story behind them. She had cried for the little boy that thought his father would come back home if he tied the yellow ribbons outside. He had heard the song “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Oak Tree” and truly believed it.
It took her back to her childhood, when she desperately wanted her mother to come home, but she was dead. At five, she hadn’t understood.
“You still have those?”
“They’re just bookmarks.” He stuffed them back into the Bible. “They don’t mean anything.”
“Reid, that’s not—” Her phone vibrated. She glanced at the screen.
Oh, no. It was later than she’d thought. Turning away from Reid and Bobby, Danica spoke with her father. “Sorry, Daddy. We had some emergency arrivals, and I lost track of time.”
Along with a long-lost husband showing up on her doorstep. With a quick glance over her shoulder, she found Bobby showing Reid some of the things they made for the bears.
Her father was talking, and she needed to focus. “Yes, let them know I have a great story to tell when I get home. I’ll be there in the next hour...No, don’t—Hey, girls.” She moved farther away and lowered her voice. “That’s right. I promise to tell you everything...Yes, I’ll take pictures...Okay. Love you more.”
Bobby looked at her with one brow raised. “Everything good?”
“Yes.” She put her phone away. “I just forgot to tell Daddy we had new arrivals. He expected me home a couple of hours ago.”
“Did you tell the g—”
She cut the facility manager off before he could mention her twins. “I think it’s time to call it a night. Reid, I can drive you to the ranch.”
“That’s nonsense.” Bobby’s gruff voice told her what he thought of her being alone with Reid. Why did everyone in her life act as if she had no survival instincts? It was getting old.
He rubbed his mustache and adjusted his hat. “I’ll take him, and I can pick him up tomorrow.”
Reid looked at her like he wanted to say something. He probably had plans to talk more about their little problem when they were alone. Maybe it would be better for Bobby to take him, because she couldn’t handle more alone time with her husband.
Sandy was right about him breaking her heart. What the other woman didn’t know was that it was already too late. Her heart was left in bloody pieces six years ago. Her daughters were the one thing that forced her to pull herself up and move on with life. Now it was up to her to protect their innocent hearts.
Chapter Three (#u621185ce-64f6-5df7-8615-4880a3441ad0)
“How long have you been out?” Bobby turned down the backcountry road that would take them to Danica. Hopefully, the second day of his return would fare better than the first.
“Not long.” He didn’t want to talk. He’d rather torment himself with thoughts of his wife.
“How long do you plan to stick around?”
“As long as Dani needs me.” He groaned and laid his head back. He had let her nickname slip past his lips.
“I think it would be best if you referred to her as Ms. Bergmann.” They hit a pothole on Reid’s side of the truck. Without his seat belt, he would have hit his head.
“Yes, sir.” He didn’t want to hear another warning to stay away.
The old cowboy found a couple more potholes to hit. They finally made it to the gate. Reid knew he had some new bruises. Bobby winked at him.
As they pulled in behind the old bunkhouse, Danica and Dr. Ortiz were waiting for them. He greeted the doctor as he got out of the truck. A few others joined them. “Reid, this is Stephanie Lee, Linda Edward’s niece. She’s on the board. She has been an advocate for the dream her aunt had for the ranch. Stephanie, this is Reid McAllister. He saved the day with his degree in animal husbandry. Best of all, he has experience with big animals and wild horses.”
“Welcome aboard.” In high heels and with perfect hair, she looked more prepared for a day in the courtroom than one spent hanging out with wild animals. Her red lips stretched into a tight smile as she looked him up and down.
Reid tried not to be oversensitive and stood still. He learned fast to always appear confident, even when he didn’t feel that way. She reminded him of the court-appointed lawyer who threw him to the wolves and walked away without a care.
Stephanie was a trusted member of Danica’s circle, and he wasn’t. So he smiled and offered his hand. Yeah, she wasn’t happy about touching him.
Danica, who had been speaking with Dr. Ortiz, waved them over. “Dr. Ortiz examined our new cat. The jaguar is in general good health, but the back leg is permanently damaged. We’ll release him into the north cat area.” She looked at Dr. Ortiz, then at Reid. “Are we ready to move him?”
The wheeled crate was four feet tall and six feet long. Reid could hear the black cat pacing. Working as a team, they loaded him into the back of a trailer and slowly drove out to the cat area in the far back part of the ranch. It took some maneuvering, but they got the crate placed inside a double-fenced area that was free of trees.
By the time they rolled the crate up against the second gate, the sun was high, and the Texas heat had stopped being friendly. Danica had everyone clear the area and stand outside the enclosure. She and Reid were the only people inside, ready to let the cat into his new home. Dr. Ortiz stood next to the tall fence with a tranquilizer if they needed it.
Danica jumped on top of the crate. She looked like an Amazon queen, surveying her land. She was born to do this. Twisting around, she looked at Reid. “I’m going to lift the front panel. He’ll either dart out and run, or hide in there. We’ll have to wait for him to enter his new world.” Easing down, she laid her body flat on the top of the crate and peered into the openings. In a low, soothing voice, she started talking to the animal.
“What do you need me to do?” Reid kept his voice steady and calm as he checked on the black jaguar from the side panel.
“Stay to the back of the crate until he moves out the front. As soon as he leaves, I need you to slide and secure the gate so he can’t come back into this area. I’ll roll it out of the way.”
She sprang to her feet. “By nature, they want to avoid humans, so he should run for the trees. Okay, here we go.” Giving Reid a nod, she got in position.
Poised for action, he kept his full attention on her. It would be safer for her on the outside fence area with the others, but he knew better than to suggest it.
Danica pulled the panel up. Nothing happened. Reid pressed his face against the top slot to see inside. The cat had his nose in the air and took one cautious step toward the opening. Then he stopped and just stared out.
Slowly slipping down to the ground, Danica stood next to him. He was tall, and her lips were close to his ear when she leaned in. “All he’s known is captivity, his whole life. The open space probably scares him.”
“Freedom can be overwhelming.” He had only been locked up six years and was surprised how hard it was to adjust. Facing freedom after a whole life of being in a cage had to be paralyzing.
She nodded. With the palm of her hand, she wiped at her face. Reid pretended not to notice. Her warrior face was back, as she focused on the jaguar.
The cat eased closer to the opening and once again sat and put his nose in the air. He turned around and went to the back of his shelter again.
“No. Go. Run,” Danica whispered. “There are rocky cliffs and trees for you to climb and explore. You’re safe here.”
The cat paced again and stopped at the door. His ears twitched. Reid stopped breathing for a few seconds as he waited for the cat to claim his freedom.
Danica slid her hand into his. Reid heard her praying under her breath. She was so focused on the jag he doubted she even noticed. He resisted the urge to squeeze, hoping she would stay. If this caged and abused wild animal could make it, maybe he had a chance, too.
It took almost an hour for the cat to get his whole body out of the crate. Suddenly he stood straight. With a flip of his tail, he lifted his head high, and his nostrils flared. He looked over his shoulder, then back again. With a lunge, he ran for the tree line.
Danica pulled the crate back. “Lock the gate.”
He had gotten so caught up holding her hand and watching the cat, he almost forgot his job. The small group behind them started applauding. The black cat reappeared and darted across the open grass, running straight back into the fence. Panting, he stopped and went flat. Danica held her hand up, and everyone went silent.
Reid hated seeing the big cat in distress. “Should we let him back in the crate? He doesn’t feel safe in the open space.”
With narrowed eyes, she kept her focus on the cat. “He’s okay. Let’s give him a bit more time.” The animal’s golden eyes scanned the land. Lying flat on his stomach, he crept back to the tree line.
One swish of his tail and he turned back to the trees. One leap and he climbed onto the low branch of a giant oak. Danica looked at him with a huge smile. “I think he’s going to adjust fast.” Hands on the crate, she unlocked the brakes and started rolling it toward the volunteers. They rushed forward to help her.
“That was so exciting, Ms. Bergmann. Will he be able to find the water and his food?”
“I think so. We’ll keep an eye on him to make sure he does. The more he does on his own, the better.” Danica gave the small crew directions. Dr. Ortiz hugged her, then got in her fancy vet truck and left.
Reid stood back. They all laughed and talked about the excitement of setting the cat free. Everyone had a job and knew what to do. A touch on his left shoulder caused him to spin with his fists up for a split second before he saw it was Danica. “Sorry.” He stuffed his hands in his back pockets. “I didn’t know you were behind me.” He hated the pity that clouded her eyes.
“I didn’t even think about how—”
“I’m fine. What do you need me to do?” Relaxing his jaw, he focused on his breathing. Once back to normal, he looked down at the beautiful woman who had looked at him with love a lifetime ago. The tender gaze was gone—now it shifted from suspicion to pity. She had a don’t-get-close look he’d never seen before.
Even though he was free now, he felt as if he’d suffered a lifetime conviction. Ray said it was a self-induced sentence, which God had released him from. Now that he had his physical freedom, all the guilt and stress were back. He didn’t feel free anymore.
“Reid?” Her bright green eyes searched his face. He forced himself to be still, to meet her gaze. She gave him a sad smile and nodded as if they had agreed to something he wasn’t aware of. “Are you ready to move the baby cub to the enclosure? I don’t want a crowd for that.”
Right now, he would love to get away from this group of young, energetic college students. It seemed a lifetime ago that he had been a part of that life. If he heard the words awesome or amazing one more time, he was going to beat his head against the side of the truck.
Then there was Bobby. The old man eyed Reid with a warning whenever he got a chance. “Is there anything else needed done here?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Her forehead wrinkled with worry, and it was his fault.
With a nod, he gave her the lopsided grin she’d always loved. “Yes. Ready for the next adventure.”
She waved to the others. “We’re heading back to introduce the cub to her new home. Y’all take the truck. Sarah, do you have the phone today?”
“Yes, ma’am. Can we come watch?”
“I want to keep the environment calm and quiet when we make the transition. I need y’all to finish here and do the usual rounds. We’ll take the four-wheeler back to headquarters.” Without waiting for him, she jumped on the long leather seat of the ATV. Hands on the handlebars, she leaned forward, making room for him behind her. If he got on that thing, he would have to touch her. Not good.
“Baby, I’ll walk.”
“What? It’ll take you an hour to get back.” She started the engine. “Do you want to drive? Is that the problem? I don’t remember you being so macho.”
Okay, he was making a bigger deal out of this than it needed to be. Swinging a leg over, he slid as far back on the seat as possible. Trying to settle in behind Danica, he found there wasn’t much room to avoid her. Her hair was in a tight braid, but a few curls had managed to escape. He could get lost in her hair. Looking to the sky, he kept his focus on the clouds above. His hands gripped the bars next to his legs. A rock in the road caused the four-wheeler to tilt to the side.
Without thought, his fingers immediately circled her waist to steady them both. Muscles briefly contracted as he remembered how perfectly she fit in his hands. Those hands needed to be somewhere else.
One quick movement and he had a tight grip on the bars again. Those were the kind of memories that would get him in trouble and just cause him more pain. He needed to block all of them.
How could he do that? He remembered everything about her, and he would until the day his heart stopped beating. He imagined it was possible that even beyond this life, he would remember her. Not that it would do him any good. He was dancing in the middle of a stampede and would be going down soon.
This quick ride turned into a torture trip. Next time, he would walk. God, I need strength only You can give. I have vowed to do the right thing, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough.
* * *
Parking the four-wheeler by the back door, Danica jumped off as fast as she turned the key to shut down the engine. She needed to get away from Reid.
Driving with him so close, it took her back to the early days of their marriage. Their very short marriage, because he didn’t have enough faith to believe God would take care of them.
“I need to check something up front. Go ahead and get the cub ready.”
Not waiting for his response, she moved to the front porch. She had to get herself under control. Emotions and feelings had gotten her in trouble in college. Now she was a grown woman with two innocent baby girls relying on her. Their future was at stake. God, I need You to lead me this time.
It didn’t matter how Reid McAllister made her feel. Her heart was off-limits, and she needed to use her brain. Coming around the corner, she stopped midstep. No, no, no.
“Momma!”
“Momma, we came to see the baby bear.”
The girls charged at her. “We want to see the bats. Can we see the bats? Are they sleeping like little burritos?”
There was no pause between the girls. They had a habit of talking with their words flowing from one sister to the next.
Her gaze darted behind her. Reid had gone into the building. With her heart in her throat, she stared at her twin sister. “Jackie, what are you doing here? I told the girls I would bring them later tonight.”
Jackie narrowed her gaze. “What’s going on?”
With another quick glance to the house, she took a deep breath. Maybe she could get them out of here without him seeing the girls. She bit her lip.
“Momma, please.”
Or before her sister saw him. This was crazy. Smiling for the girls, she took a deep breath. No time to drown in her own mess.
Balancing on her heels, she squatted and hugged each girl. “I need you to go home with your aunt.” She pushed the loose curls out of their faces, their red hair and gray-green eyes in contrast to their light golden skin.
They were a perfect mix of her and Reid. “You can’t be here right now. I promise I’ll bring you back, and you can help me feed the baby bats tonight.” She usually only allowed the girls to watch the bats. At this point, she was willing to use anything to get them back in the big green family Suburban her father still owned. Standing, she placed a hand on each of the girls’ shoulders and started herding them back to the SUV.
Jackie was frowning at her. “They both got a hundred on their spelling tests, so I thought this—”
“It’s fine. I just need you to take them home. I still have a lot to do today.”
A door behind her opened. Her sister gasped. Dread froze the rapid flow of her blood. Fear held her in place. Her two worlds were about to collide. “Please, get the twins to the car and leave.” Please, please, please don’t let him notice the girls.
“Jackie?” His deep voice vibrated down her spine.
“Reid?” Jackie’s screech was more like nails on a chalkboard. Eyes wide, she looked at Danica. “Is that Reid McAllister?”
The girls turned to see the newcomer. “Hi!” They tended to talk in unison when they were excited. “I’m Susan Bergmann this is my sister—”
“Elizabeth Bergmann. Everyone calls us Suzie and Lizzy. We’re twins.”
Focusing on her daughters, she kept her back to Reid. Maybe he’d assume they were Jackie’s if he didn’t look too close.
Lizzy gently pressed her fingertips on Danica’s face and pulled her attention away from Jackie. “Momma, please let us just see the bats. We won’t touch them.”
She groaned and closed her eyes.
“Or even make a noise. We promise to be real quiet.” On her other side, Suzie wrapped herself around Danica’s arm.
“Yes, we’ll be good.” They both looked past her and smiled at Reid. “Have you seen the bats?” Suzie faced him.
“We were here when they came to the sanctuary.” Excitement bubbled from each of Lizzy’s words.
“They were the size of our thumbs.” Both girls held up their thumbs and giggled.
Danica’s lungs burned. She took in a deep breath. She needed to breathe. Passing out was not an option. On second thought, it would be a great distraction and buy her some time.
She finally turned to face Reid. His gaze was on the girls, darting back and forth between her wiggling, joy-filled babies. Lizzy had grabbed her hand. “Momma, please just one peek.”
Tearing her gaze away from the shock on Reid’s face, she looked down. “Sweetheart, we have some real important things going on right now. I need you to go home with Aunt Jackie. I’ll bring you back tonight for the late-night feeding.”
Jackie stepped forward and took the girls by the hand. “Come on, sugars. The sooner your mom gets her work done, the faster she’ll come get you.” She glanced at Reid, then back to Danica. “Are you okay? Do I need to call anyone?”
“No. Really, I’m good. Reid is here to help.” Crossing her arms, she swallowed back any tears that would expose the desperation she was trying to hide. “Call me once you’re in the car if you want, and I’ll let you know when to expect me.”
Her sister hesitated. “Bobby’s here?”
“Yes, along with Stephanie and a couple of interns. We just released the cat, lots of people are here. I’m good.”
Watching her daughters leave with her sister, her gut burned. Maybe he’d go away if she ignored him. She felt him move next to her. His breathing was hard enough to brush her unprotected neck. Closing her eyes, she prayed, with every bit of energy in her body. If she could, she would drop to her knees.
She did not want to deal with this.
“I’m a father? Why didn’t—”
She turned on him, her fingertip against his chest. “You, Reid McAllister, are not a father. You made me a mother, then you left. That does not make you a father. Don’t you dare try to act like the victim here.” Heat ran through her limbs.
Devastation flared in his eyes. Years ago, he shared dreams of forging a family with her, the type of family he had only seen on television. Reid had talked about being the kind of father he’d wanted to be, a good father. He’d wanted to do things differently than his parents.
At the time, she was foolish enough to believe him.
Danica stared him down, the gray in his eyes glossed over until only a dark green burned. So let him get angry. She didn’t care. Her rage heaved and pulled against the shackles she’d locked it under years ago.
Her finger thrust against his rock-hard chest. “I waited for you.” Her voice shook. She squared her shoulders. “When I took the first pregnancy test, I was alone. I’ve been alone every step of the way, except for my family. My girls are Bergmanns, and that’s all they know. You showing up on my doorstep does not change the fact they don’t have a father. They never did, and they’re fine, better than fine. They have my father. The kind of man I want them to know.”
Mouth open, he didn’t say a word. Deep in the back of his throat, his voice emerged. “They’re mine.”
“No. You gave up that right when you decided it was easier just to vanish than tell me what was happening. I’m not talking to you about them.” Unable to deal with his self-inflicted wounds any longer, she marched past him and into the office. Slamming the door felt better than it should.
She didn’t have time for this drama or his wounded pride. “He should have thought of that before he drove a suspicious car across state lines.”
“Who are you talking to?”
Stephanie’s voice caused her to jump. She forced a laugh. “Just myself.” She looked around. “Where is everyone? What are you doing in my office?”
“Oh, they’re putting everything away, and Sarah is checking on the bats. I wanted to get the updates on the paperwork.” She leaned her perfectly dressed hip on the corner of the worn, outdated desk. “How are we looking financially?”
Danica moved past her and bit down on the inside of her cheek. This was not what she wanted to deal with right now. “We have a board meeting soon. I’ll be able to give a full report then.”
“I spoke with Dorothy. As your friends and board members, we’re worried. Do we have enough money to hire a vet tech?” Stephanie started looking through some photos Danica had taken for the grant. “He’s a convicted criminal. Is it smart to have him around so many drugs and exotic animals?”
“He needs community hours, and we need him for the grant. James trusts him. Sorry I don’t have time to go deeper, but I have lots of work that still needs to be done before the end of the day.”
Her temper was on the edge of exploding, but it wasn’t Stephanie’s fault. Plus, she really couldn’t afford to be rude to her. Not only was she Linda’s only living relative, but she stood by her side as a major advocate for the sanctuary.
“I’m sorry. I know your aunt’s dream for this place is as important to you as it is to me. But right now, I don’t have time. I promise I have a report, and I will answer all of your questions then.” She took a breath. “Thank you for helping today. I know you also have a busy schedule with your law firm.”
“Danica, are we going to move the cub?” Reid stood at her door. He wasn’t looking at her, though. He seemed to be staring at Stephanie.
“Seems the felon needs you. Shouldn’t leave him unattended for long. I have to go anyway. I’ll see you at the board meeting.” She ignored Reid as she went out the other door.
Danica swallowed, or tried to anyway. The ball of fear and worry hung in her dry throat. She shouldn’t have rushed Stephanie out. Maybe she could call Bobby, so someone would be between her and Reid.
“I’ll be with the cub.” Not giving her a chance to reply, Reid turned on his booted heel and left.
Bracing her hands on the edge of the desk, she hung her head. “God, please give me the wisdom to handle this the best way for the girls.” Her wounded heart wanted to lash out at him and make him pay, but that wouldn’t help anyone. As good as it would feel to scream and throw breakables against his head, she knew it would just destroy her in the long haul. More guilt was the last thing she needed right now.
With a deep breath, she turned to face the door leading to Reid and the baby bear. There was no reason for her to feel guilty. For six years, she’d stayed strong. God had been preparing her for this day. Danica swallowed any emotions that might give him an opening to her heart and stepped into the room with her husband.
Chapter Four (#u621185ce-64f6-5df7-8615-4880a3441ad0)
Reid held the bottle as the baby bear clung to him. He took a deep breath, pushing his lungs past their comfort zone. Releasing all the tension, he counted to five. Held it. Again.
It wasn’t working.
No matter how he tried to center his breathing, the word daughters bounced around in his head. The double image of the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen ricocheted in his thoughts.
Two curly-red-haired girls. He had two daughters with the same color of eyes as his mother. Two daughters who were already five years old. Five years he could never get back. Anger threatened to abolish all his good intentions.
Danica was right. He’d walked out on her when she needed him most. He’d ruined his own life. A life that not only shined with Danica as his wife but two precious girls who...
His family had ridiculed him for trying to make a better life, for reaching over his head for things that belonged to other people. Not him.
The night he was arrested they had been proven right. There was no escaping his family blood.
But daughters? What did he do with that information? Even after seeing them, he still couldn’t believe it. He wanted to yell and hit something.
He stroked the bear’s fur and looked down, into her trusting eyes. Centering his thoughts and turning to God was what he needed to do now.
As much as he wanted to blame Danica, he couldn’t. The mistake was his, and now he had a great deal to prove to her.
The rocking chair creaked as it rolled back and forth. Reid leaned his head back. The peeling paint on the old wood panel revealed decades of colors just painted on top of each other. It needed to be sanded and repainted. No one had ever taken the time to do the job right. Layers of paint had been slapped onto each other, covering the old stains.
If she had the supplies to make repairs, he could work on restoring the old wood. Words were not going to regain the trust he’d lost. It was going to take a lot of work and time to show her he could be counted on.
His mother had put her husband above her children. Each time his father got out of prison, his mother took him back, no questions asked. A corner of his lip twitched as he looked down at the bear. “Danica made it clear I wasn’t getting anywhere near her babies. I think she might be the definition of mama bear.”
“Are you talking to the bear?” Not making eye contact, Danica marched across the room. She gave no indication she had actually heard what he said.
“No one else will talk to me.”
A snort came from her as she pulled bottles and assorted supplies out of the cabinets. “When you finish with the feeding, we’ll move her out to the enclosure.” With jerky fast motions, she stuffed them in the bag. “I’ll wait in the Jeep that’s parked out back.” Without a glance at him, she flung the bag over her back and left.
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