Meant-To-Be Baby
Lois Richer
A soldier or a father?Maybe he can be both in this Rocky Mountain Haven storyPregnant and abandoned, Victoria Archer’s focused on helping with her aunts’ foster outreach program—not finding love. But there’s something undeniably charming about Major Ben Adams. Certain he’s not suited for fatherhood, Ben’s searching for a loving home for his recently orphaned nephew. But could he, Victoria and her unborn baby be the little boy’s perfect family?
A soldier or a father?
Maybe he can be both in this Rocky Mountain Haven story
Pregnant and abandoned, Victoria Archer’s focused on helping with her aunts’ foster outreach program—not finding love. But there’s something undeniably charming about Major Ben Adams. Certain he’s not suited for fatherhood, Ben’s searching for a loving home for his recently orphaned nephew. But could he, Victoria and her unborn baby be the little boy’s perfect family?
LOIS RICHER loves traveling, swimming and quilting, but mostly she loves writing stories that show God’s boundless love for His precious children. As she says, “His love never changes or gives up. It’s always waiting for me. My stories feature imperfect characters learning that love doesn’t mean attaining perfection. Love is about keeping on keeping on.” You can contact Lois via email, loisricher@gmail.com, or on Facebook (loisricherauthor).
Also By Lois Richer (#uf33ad4ea-6a1f-526b-bc15-853db8182305)
Love Inspired
Rocky Mountain Haven
Meant-to-Be Baby
Wranglers Ranch
The Rancher’s Family Wish
Her Christmas Family Wish
The Cowboy’s Easter Family Wish
The Twins’ Family Wish
Family Ties
A Dad for Her Twins
Rancher Daddy
Gift-Wrapped Family
Accidental Dad
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Meant-to-Be Baby
Lois Richer
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-08554-0
MEANT-TO-BE BABY
© 2018 Lois M. Richer
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
Victoria’s hand touched her stomach fleetingly.
“You still haven’t told your aunts.” It wasn’t a question.
“Don’t,” she begged quietly, and when it seemed Ben would argue, she turned her attention to Mikey. “Very nice,” she encouraged, hugging his tiny body close for a second before he wiggled away.
“C’n I ski?” he asked suddenly. “’Cause a boy in church tole me he skis with other kids an’ he ’vited me. Maybe he could be my friend?” he said wistfully.
“What a good idea.” Victoria looked at Ben and found him studying her with an intensity that made her uncomfortable. “Don’t you think?” she prodded.
“Uh, yeah. Skiing. Sure.” Ben’s gaze held hers for a second, then settled on Mikey. “We could do that, I guess.”
Mikey ran around the room, cheering. Victoria stayed put, staring at her hands, unsettled by the expression she’d seen on Ben’s face and her response to it.
He was a great guy. She liked him a lot. But there could be nothing between them but friendship. She was going to be a mom.
And soon Ben would leave.
And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
—Romans 8:28
Dear Reader (#uf33ad4ea-6a1f-526b-bc15-853db8182305),
Hi there! Welcome to The Haven, where God works things together to help His children. I love the Canadian Rockies. There’s something about those craggy peaks and teal-blue lakes that reminds me that God is far bigger and more powerful than I can imagine.
Victoria needed to return to The Haven to recover her faith and trust in God—and in love. It wasn’t easy, until she accepted that God loved her. Period. Not because she earned it but because God is love. Ben, too, struggled with acceptance of himself and his past failures. He feared parenting his nephew because he might fail again. It took him some time to realize that’s why God’s in charge.
I hope you’ll return to The Haven for Adele’s story. This good-natured chef wants a perfect family, but maybe perfect isn’t part of God’s plan for her life at all.
Blessings,
Lois Richer
This book is dedicated to Dorothea, who always believed God would make a way.
Contents
Cover (#u98065dc0-1d2c-57ba-856a-57b11ebc9653)
Back Cover Text (#uccfc5646-f2ae-5651-8b7c-fb6a8e282d85)
About the Author (#ub2cbbec7-cfca-5c87-ad1e-27c583253308)
Booklist (#u5eb9b5e3-9e4e-581c-8e52-f2caf08db677)
Title Page (#ud68c60a0-d356-5c7f-99f5-190ea7cd8c69)
Copyright (#u0f2aab29-b589-57c8-957d-fbdfefe01e9a)
Introduction (#u7993cc48-8431-5eec-bf32-13347dfa9bf8)
Bible Verse (#u5173b5f6-cce1-5e42-9175-f76133c4585a)
Dear Reader (#u044e5c5d-9705-5cb4-97be-9b7e727761ba)
Dedication (#u8c7ae1fe-2495-5be7-94a7-8bf0a688627a)
Chapter One (#uad8e8ef7-2c01-5401-a442-2a233db78ab8)
Chapter Two (#uf3d729d2-dcf7-5d6a-aacf-efea86204d88)
Chapter Three (#ud6b008cf-15d6-5bc4-8d1c-09badd28e2ba)
Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
Chapter One (#uf33ad4ea-6a1f-526b-bc15-853db8182305)
“We have to do something.” Victoria Archer cradled her mug against her cheek and surveyed her two younger foster sisters. “This time, we were able to run home in time to help Aunt Tillie and Margaret clean up from that burst pipe. But what happens if—when—they have another emergency and none of us can make it back so fast?”
“It is January in the Canadian Rockies,” Adele agreed in a gloomy tone. “And they’re predicting a storm. If the aunties had an accident—”
“Or got sick.” The awful thought silenced Olivia for a moment. “So what do we do?”
“I need to think about it.” Victoria rose. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Still proving you’re tough enough to take whatever comes, huh?” Olivia shook her head. “Even the weather, Vic?”
“I always think better when I walk,” Victoria defended.
“Wait. How’d you get here so fast, Victoria?” Adele studied her intently. “You live in Vancouver. When we spoke two days ago, you were settling some issue with a hotel in Toronto. Suddenly today you’re here.”
Time for the truth.
“Toronto was a simple fix and my last job with Strenga Hotels. I’ve taken a leave of absence from them. And Derek. He and I broke up.” She hurried on. “I don’t want to talk about that except to say that I’m now free to stay here at The Haven to help the aunts.”
Avoiding their compassionate looks, Victoria pulled her gear off a wall hook: a white parka with a fur-trimmed hood, a thick red scarf, warm double-knit red mittens and knee-high insulated boots. Once dressed, she whistled for Spot and Dot, the two springer spaniels her foster aunts had rescued from a puppy mill three years ago. A glance at her sisters’ worried faces made her smile.
“I really am okay. How about some of your scrumptious chicken potpie for supper, Chef Adele?” she suggested as she grasped the doorknob, eager to escape their pity.
“Perfect for a stormy day.” Her sister began pulling out ingredients. “Be careful, Sis.”
“Always. See you later.” Victoria tucked her cell phone in her pocket and switched on the outside lights before leaving the big stone manor by the back door. The glow of the antique lanterns around The Haven chased away late afternoon shadows and lit a corresponding warmth inside her.
Home. Exhilaration bumped up her heart rate. Home. No Derek to consider. No pressing issue to tear her away from this glorious place. Well, there was that one huge issue looming...
The buffeting wind and whirling snowflakes turned the mountain foothills into a massive snow globe and ended her doubts. She loved The Haven. Her foster aunts’ huge estate encompassed their massive stone home and acres of foothills and forest with the majestic tips of the Canadian Rocky Mountains in the distance.
Victoria smiled as the dogs bounded through the snowbanks, in and out of the spruce trees lining the driveway, chasing each other in circles but always returning to check on her before racing off again.
Yet despite the beauty surrounding her, thoughts of the future plagued Victoria. At the moment, her only certainty was that she would not return to the hotel chain that had employed her for five years. Her leave of absence would be permanent. There was nothing and no one there for her anymore. Derek had made that perfectly clear when she told him she was pregnant with his child.
“You’re the famous fixer, Victoria. You’ve built a reputation in the hotel business by resolving issues with unhappy guests, broken reservation systems, under-functioning staff and a whole lot more. So handle this. Without me.”
And when Victoria said she was keeping the baby, he’d dumped her. It took Derek less than a week to find a new romantic love.
So be it. Now her future would include single motherhood.
Scared, ashamed, embarrassed, worried—those emotions didn’t begin to cover her wildly swinging feelings. But they weren’t all negative. Wonder, amazement, a secret inner—was joy the right word to describe how amazed she was by the thought of becoming a mom?
Unable to make sense of her topsy-turvy reactions and still unsure of how she was going to support herself and her child, Victoria’s thoughts veered to the immediate problem. What to do about the aunts. Moving Tillie and Margaret from The Haven, the home where they’d lived since retiring from the mission field twenty-five years ago, away from the friends they cherished and the land they adored—it was unthinkable. But how could they stay?
Lost in thought, Victoria finally roused to the dogs’ frenzied barking. When they didn’t return despite repeated calls, she knew something was wrong. She stopped to listen, trying to pinpoint their yelps through the whistling wind.
Over there. She climbed a steep hill, reached the summit, gazed around her and then caught her breath. The dogs stood guard beside—a child?
While she descended the hill, Victoria tried to fathom out the situation. She saw no adult, no vehicle, nothing to indicate where the child had come from. When she got closer, she realized the child was a young boy, and he was crying.
“Hello,” she asked, squatting beside him. “I’m Victoria. Are you hurt?”
“Those dogs bited me,” he sobbed and held up his arm to show her a tiny tear in the fabric of his snowsuit. “They won’t let me help Unca Ben.”
Victoria rose, searched the snowy scape before her but saw nothing.
“Where is Uncle Ben, sweetie?” she asked, trying to conceal her concern.
“Over there. He got hurted.” The child pointed to the roadside but still Victoria saw only mounds of snow.
“What’s your name?”
“Mikey,” he sniffed and rubbed one mitten over his tear-covered cheek. “Those bad dogs won’t let me help Unca Ben. They bited me,” he repeated angrily.
“They were only trying to keep you safe. Spot and Dot won’t hurt you.” He clearly didn’t believe her so Victoria sought to ease his fear by grasping his hand. “We want to help you and Uncle Ben, but I can’t see him. Can you show me where he is?”
Mikey glared at the dogs so she gave a command. Immediately they sat and waited. Mikey studied them suspiciously for several more moments.
“Okay.” He finally relented as he looked at her. “But after we help Unca Ben, can I have a drink? I’m thirsty.”
“Sure you can, sweetie.” She patted his hand. “So, where’s your uncle?”
“Down there.” He walked a few steps before pointing downward.
Victoria had to peer through the gloom and whirling snow for several moments before she finally spotted the barely discernible fender of a white car that had clearly slipped off the road, down the embankment and into the forest. Its hood was crushed against a massive pine tree which also pinned the driver’s door closed.
“Good man, Mikey.” There was no signal on her phone. Frowning, Victoria spied a sheltered indentation in the rock face and led the boy there, figuring that since he was dressed warmly, he’d be okay for a bit. “You stay here, out of the wind. Don’t try to follow me,” she ordered firmly. “I’ll go talk to Uncle Ben then come back.”
Mikey frowned. “He’s sleepin’ an’ he won’t wake up.”
Unconscious? Victoria’s heart sank but praying was a habit she developed long ago. Lord? Even after what I’ve done, are You still with me?
“I’ll check on him but you still have to stay here, Mikey.”
“But what if a dinosaur comes? Or a crocodile?” he asked in a scared voice. “Or a bear?” He was so cute.
“Bears sleep in wintertime, honey. And crocodiles and dinosaurs don’t live anywhere near these mountains,” she promised. “Anyway, Spot and Dot won’t let any animals get near you.”
“Sure?” Mikey frowned when she nodded. “I don’t like those biting dogs.” He glared at them as he rubbed his arm.
“They didn’t bite you, honey. They just grabbed on to your coat, to keep you safe. They’re your friends, just like me. Understand?”
Mikey did not look convinced but finally, he nodded.
“I promise I’ll hurry as fast as I can.” After reassuring him again, Victoria slipped and slid her way down the embankment. Every so often, she called encouragements to Mikey and reminded him to stay put. She’d call for help as soon as she’d assessed the situation, after she checked on Uncle Ben. But she’d have to climb higher because there was no cell phone signal down here, either.
The car’s rear passenger door hung open. Probably how Mikey escaped. After ensuring that the vehicle was firmly wedged and would not move, Victoria swept away the snow and peered inside. A very good-looking man, in a military haircut that emphasized his strong jaw, lay sprawled in the driver’s seat with the airbag deployed around him. A bleeding gash marred his forehead, probably where he’d bashed into the cracked side window. He wore a dark fleece sweatshirt and jeans. His unzipped blue jacket looked new. She yanked open the front passenger door.
“Sir?” He didn’t answer. Glad of the first-aid courses her employers had insisted she complete, Victoria quickly checked his vitals. All good. “Uncle Ben?”
He groaned, shifted slightly. Thick brown lashes lifted slowly until big blue eyes met hers.
“Hello.” The slurred words were accompanied by a faint smile.
“I’m Victoria Archer. You went off the road. Do you remember?”
“No. Yes.” He shook his head, winced and then whispered frantically, “Mikey! Where’s Mikey?”
“He’s safe. My dogs are guarding him.”
“Mikey hates dogs.” Ben licked his lips. “A year ago, one bit him.”
“That explains it.” At his questioning look, she shook her head. “Never mind. Other than the cut on your forehead, are you okay?”
“Lemme check.” Ben closed his eyes as he completed a series of movements. Then he looked at her, his face grim as he listed his injuries. “Left arm’s bruised but not broken. Ankle’s wrenched. My ribs are probably going to bruise and my head hurts where I hit it. And my door’s stuck.”
“It’s jammed against the tree. You’ll have to get out on this side.” She studied the situation. “Can you move?”
“Barely, but so what?” he asked gruffly. “You’re too small to help me.”
Too small. Fire sprang to life inside Victoria. She’d heard that all her life and she still hated it. As if her brainpower depended on her height.
“I’m strong, I’m smart and I can help you,” she said, ignoring an inner flutter of appreciation for his blue eyes. “If you can get out.”
“I’ve got a good sixty pounds on you,” Ben grumbled, easing off his seat belt. “Even if I do get out, you can’t support me, and I doubt I can walk, especially uphill.”
“First let’s see what we’re dealing with,” she said, reining in her temper. “Then I’ll phone Jake, our hired hand, for help.”
“Why not call a tow truck?” Ben clenched his jaw as he eased his body across the seat.
“Wouldn’t do any good.” Victoria tried to move his injured foot but knew from his sudden indrawn breath that it was less painful for him to do it himself. “In a storm like this, the Alberta Ministry of Transportation concentrates on ensuring the main roads in and out of Jasper and our nearest town, Chokecherry Hollow, are navigable. The Haven is always last on their plow-out list because we’re the only ones who live along this road. Doesn’t matter though because Jake usually has us plowed out long before they arrive. But that won’t be for a while. It’s coming down pretty heavily now.”
“Huh.” Ben was almost free when she suddenly realized there was no place except a snowbank for him to sit.
“Wait. Feeling okay?”
“Peachy,” he shot back in a grumpy tone.
“Good.” She grinned at his dour glance. “Stay here, on this passenger seat. Close the door to keep warm. Rest for a few minutes while I go call Jake and check on Mikey.”
“Good idea.” Ben grunted his assent, his tanned face strained. “Kid’s probably starving. It’s a while since we ate.”
“Not a problem.” She closed the car door. So where did Uncle Ben get a tan like that, at this time of year, in Canada? He sure didn’t get his tan from a bottle like Aunt Tillie did because Uncle Ben’s skin was too evenly darkened, the deep color almost burned in. Maybe he was a skier?
Victoria told herself to forget her building questions about the guy as she climbed vertically, grasping twigs and rocks to help in her ascent. Mikey was where she’d left him, still glaring at the dogs.
“I found Uncle Ben,” she said, puffing a little. “He’s got a sore arm and leg. I need to phone someone to come help us.”
“’Cause Unca Ben’s really big,” Mikey agreed, brown eyes huge.
“He sure is.” She chuckled. “Are you warm enough?”
“Uh-huh. ’Fore we comed here, Unca Ben buyed me this coat and snow pants. They gots feathers in ’em.”
“Like the birds, huh? Only you don’t fly.” Mikey looked confused by her silliness. “Good for Uncle Ben.” She fished a granola bar out of her pocket and held it out. “Want to munch on this?” He nodded eagerly, took it and ripped off the paper. “Don’t give any to the dogs,” she warned and then almost laughed at his dubious expression. As if that was likely. “You stay here. I’m going to climb higher.”
“Why?” Mikey asked, his mouth full.
“Because that’s where my phone works. Don’t move. I’ll be back in a jiffy.” Victoria’s heart pinched when his lips trembled.
“It’s gettin’ dark,” Mikey whispered. “I don’t like dark. Bad things happen in dark.”
What was that about?
“Good thing I brought my flashlight.” Victoria showed the boy how to turn on her tiny pocket light and got his agreement to remain. Then she began her ascent.
Years of living in the Canadian Rockies and hours spent rock-wall climbing at a city gym meant Victoria had no difficulty scaling to the top. It took several moments to get a signal, but Jake was quick to answer and promised to help after he’d notified her family to prepare for guests.
“Bring the usual rescue gear,” Victoria suggested. “Add a toboggan and some extra ropes, too. I doubt he can walk very far. We’ll have to pull him up. I’ll leave my scarf on a tree as a marker.”
“He must be the guy your aunts expect,” Jake said.
“Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing about a visitor arriving. But I didn’t pay much attention.” Because morning sickness was hitting her hard these days.
Assured Jake was coming, Victoria ended the call, attached her scarf to the bough of a needleless tamarack tree and then half slid, half climbed back down to Mikey. “Still warm enough?”
“Yeah. But I’m thirsty.” He looked around. “Can I eat the snow?”
“No!” Realizing she’d scared him, Victoria made a funny face. But she had to ensure he wouldn’t try it because eating snow would lower his body temperature. “This snow isn’t clean, Mikey. My friend will bring you something warm to drink.”
“Hot choc’lat?” he asked hopefully.
“Maybe.” She crouched down to peer into his eyes. “Can you stay here a little longer while I check if Uncle Ben needs anything?”
Clearly thrilled by the promise of a drink, Mikey flicked on the flashlight and nodded. Victoria navigated down the cliff face again, grimacing at the protest in her calves.
“You’re not as fit as you think, girl,” she muttered in disgust.
“Yes, you are.” Ben held the car door open. His blue eyes surveyed her with—admiration? “If I’d climbed up and down that steep slope as many times as you, my knees would be rubber.”
“With your military training? I doubt it.” Victoria smiled at the surprise filling his face and thrust out a hand. “Pleased to meet you. Major Adams, I presume?”
“You know me?” Ben asked. She liked his firm grip. Many men shook her hand as if they were holding a wet fish.
“The aunts mentioned that one of their military correspondents, a major, was coming to visit, but I doubt they expected you or Mikey during this storm.” The roar of a snowmobile engine cut through the whine of wind. “That’ll be Jake.” She turned away. “I’ll be back.”
“Victoria?”
“Yes?” She glanced back at Ben.
“Is Mikey okay?” A tenderness lay behind the words. Ben got high marks from her for worrying about his nephew.
“He’s got the dogs locked in a death stare. He ate a granola bar and he’s thirsty. Other than that, he’s doing fine.” She took another step before adding, “You’re fortunate this storm didn’t arrive with some really frigid weather, Major.”
Through the crackle of bushes and the approaching snowmobile, she thought she heard him mutter, “Fortunate? Me? Yeah, sure I am.”
A sigh followed, making her wonder exactly what Ben meant.
* * *
“Dear Major, are you sure you’re all right? Shouldn’t you be in bed, resting?”
Though his arm throbbed something fierce, his midsection smarted and his ankle stung, Ben forced a smile at the elderly woman.
“I’m fine, Miss Spenser. Er, Tillie,” he quickly corrected, using the name she’d requested. “I’m sorry to be a bother.”
“We’re delighted to have you and Mikey visit The Haven.” Margaret Spenser was a doppelgänger for her twin sister in everything but demeanor. Where Tillie reminded Ben of a graceful Southern belle, Margaret bustled to fulfill some unspoken agenda. “God has certainly supplied your medical needs. Victoria’s bandages look most effective.”
“Yes, they are.” He glanced from the sling holding his arm to his chest to the petite beauty sitting across from him. A straight fall of almost-black hair lovingly cupped Victoria’s sculpted ivory face as she sat in a wingback chair with Mikey cuddled beside her. At the moment, she was studying him with her inscrutable gray eyes. Ben looked back at Margaret. “Thank you for your hospitality.”
“You are more than welcome, dear. It’s a good thing you knew how to get our computer to scoop so Victoria could contact the doctor,” Tillie said.
“Skype,” he corrected, quickly realizing this lady neither knew nor cared about computers.
“Yes, it’s called Skype, sister. Anyway, it’s too bad we can’t get you into Chokecherry Hollow, Ben. But at least Doc was able, with Victoria’s help, to ascertain that your injuries aren’t severe. Now, please excuse us while we go assist the other girls with dinner. Mikey, come and help us.” Margaret lifted a hand when Victoria shifted as if to rise. “You stay here and entertain our guest, dear.”
Ben didn’t understand Victoria’s frown nor the odd way she studied her aunts’ retreating figures, Mikey between them. “Is something the matter?” he asked politely.
“I’m not sure.” Victoria refocused on him. “But they have that look.”
“What look?” Confused, Ben tried to recall something in the ladies’ manner. “I didn’t—”
“No, you wouldn’t have.” She gave him a strangled smile. “What brings you to The Haven, Ben?”
“Um,” he blinked at the sudden switch in conversation. But there was no point in prevaricating. “I’m a peacekeeper with the United Nations in Central Africa. I became part of The Spenser sisters’ campaign to write to soldiers when Tillie’s first letter arrived about seven months ago. In every letter since, she invited me to The Haven. So I came. I’m hoping she can give me some advice. About Mikey.”
“What kind of advice, if you don’t mind me asking?” Victoria leaned forward in her chair, gray eyes widening with curiosity. She had the lush, long lashes his sister-in-law, Alice, had craved.
Alice and Neil. Gone. Ben’s stomach clenched as grief billowed inside him. Only through sheer force of habit honed by peacekeeping could he maintain an implacable expression.
“Are you all right, Major?” Victoria had the kind of voice that revealed what she was thinking. Right now it said she knew he was hiding something and was offering to share his burden. For a moment, Ben was tempted.
But a second look made him doubt the elegant Victoria, with her stylish red turtleneck, chic red leather booties and probably designer jeans, had ever messed up her life. She wouldn’t understand.
“Ben?” Worry now threaded her musical tone. “Doc Mendel said your pain might increase as the shock wears off. Do you have pain?”
Tons, but most isn’t from wrecking the car.
He exhaled. Get it said, man.
“I’m on leave. I was visiting Mikey and his parents, my brother and sister-in-law. They were killed in a home invasion just over two months ago, while Mikey and I were at the zoo.”
“Oh, no,” Victoria gasped and immediately her almond-shaped eyes glossed with tears. “I’m so sorry. Poor you. Poor Mikey.”
“Thanks. Anyway, now I’m his guardian and his godparent.” Would she understand that he had to do the honorable thing for his nephew? “Before I return to my job overseas, I need to find Mikey a family he can live with, parents who will lovingly raise him. I have to make sure he’s safe.”
Silence yawned. Victoria stiffened. After a very long time, she whispered, “You can’t raise him?”
Ben shook his head.
“Because?” She frowned, her wide, full lips tipping down in dismay.
“I’m nobody’s idea of a parent, Victoria,” he said when he could no longer remain silent. “I always fail at responsibility. Look at what happened today.”
“That was an accident,” she defended. “Not poor parenting.”
“No, I should have waited a day. But I’m desperate to figure out a solution. I wanted to get here and talk to Tillie. I thought I could outrun the storm.” Ben’s lips tightened. “That’s proof I’m not who Mikey needs.”
“What does a—what is Mikey—four? What does a four-year-old need?” She lifted her slim hand and ticked off her fingers. “Love, safety, security, a home. You can’t give your nephew that?”
It was a question without innuendo, and yet Ben felt her condemnation to the depth of his soul. But doubts about his parenting ability weren’t easy to purge.
“I don’t think I can. Not properly. Taking care of Mikey is a matter of principle for me. Mikey comes first. Having a soldier for a parent is hardly what a young kid needs.” Ben made a face. “And I do have to work.”
“You can’t find another way?” Victoria made a face. “Not that it’s any of my business.”
“It’s okay,” he sighed. “Believe me, I’ve tried. But I can’t think of how.”
“I see.” She leaned back in her chair, her oval face disapproving. It was clear to Ben that she didn’t see at all.
“I can’t compromise about this, Victoria. Neil wouldn’t want me to. He’d expect me to do my best for Mikey.” A fierce protectiveness swelled inside. “I have to ensure that he’s safe and cared for.”
“Good.” Was that relief on her face? Did she think he didn’t care about his own nephew?
“Mikey’s parents were committed to building their home and a happy family. I have neither to offer. Besides,” he blurted, desperate to erase the fear growing inside, the worry that whatever he decided, he would make a mistake that would hurt his brother’s precious son. “I’m not good with responsibility.”
“Ben, you’re a peacekeeper.” Incredulity filled her voice.
“That’s a job. I’ve been trained to follow orders but someone else makes the decisions. It isn’t the same.” Her face told him he needed to explain. “My mom was sick when I was a kid, Victoria. My dad, well, he wasn’t around much so I was left to raise my brother. Neil was six years younger than me and we had opposite temperaments. I tried my best but—” It hurt to admit it aloud. “I didn’t do right by him. I didn’t know how. And because I failed him, he got into a lot of trouble.”
“Neil blamed you?” Her dark eyebrows rose.
“No.” Ben shook his head. “I blamed me. For not keeping him out of trouble. For not saving him from the whole gang-drug-jail trip. He finally broke free, no thanks to me, but in the end, his past and my failures caught up to him.” How he hated saying this. “The police believe the people who murdered Alice and Neil were cronies from my brother’s drug days, that they wanted money from him to score another hit.”
“Oh, no.” She looked as sad as he felt.
“Yeah. Neil started doing drugs because I demanded too much from him, so that makes his and Alice’s deaths my fault.” Ben almost gagged at the weight of that responsibility. “I might make the same mistake with Mikey and I can’t risk that.”
“You’re not going to,” Victoria shot back. “You’re no longer some young, abandoned kid who’s doing the best he can. You’re an adult. Mikey started life with a stable family, parents who loved him. That’s a whole different situation from Neil’s. And now Mikey has you.”
“No, he doesn’t, because he can’t depend on me.” Ben glanced around the old-fashioned room as the knot inside him grew. “I’m not his father. I don’t have the same knowledge, goals and experiences Neil would have passed on to Mikey. I have no idea how to be the kind of parent Mikey needs. I don’t know anything about fatherhood.”
“Fathers become fathers by learning.” Victoria shrugged. “You can do the same.”
“How? In furloughs? When I’m home for a couple months here and there? I can be sent anywhere at any time, into the worst hot spots. What if I was injured, or even killed?” He shook his head. “Mikey needs stable, full-time secure parents, here, in Canada.”
Ben knew from the way Victoria’s gray eyes turned to ice that she didn’t agree. That’s when he realized that Victoria, adamant in her principles, probably wasn’t going to support his request to her aunts. Fortunately she didn’t have a chance to voice the disapproval currently darkening her eyes because Tillie called them to the table.
With a sigh, Ben forced his focus off his rescuer and rose, gripping the handmade crutch Jake had made. He hobbled to the kitchen table, smothering a moan as his whole body protested. To his chagrin, Victoria’s sisters and the two elderly ladies were already seated, leaving only two chairs unoccupied. When he sat beside Victoria, his arm brushed hers, creating a zip of electricity that made him even more tensely aware of her.
Everyone bowed their head as Margaret said grace. Once conversation flowed around them again Victoria leaned toward him.
“It won’t make you less of a soldier to swallow a second painkiller, Major,” she whispered. She poured him a glass of water then nodded at a small white pill sitting next to his knife.
Ben craved relief from the twinges that plagued him so he swallowed the tablet, hoping it wouldn’t totally dull his senses because he had a hunch he was going to need his wits about him where this strong woman was concerned.
And yet, there was something else about Victoria—a vulnerability? Silly to say that about a woman who scaled mountains and rescued people. Yet Ben glimpsed a certain wistfulness in the tender brush of her hand against Mikey’s head and the gentle way she teased him. Both belied a soft heart underneath the tough exterior she projected. He liked her pluck.
But Ben wasn’t looking for a relationship. In fact, he never wanted to get involved, never wanted the obligation of caring for and probably failing a wife and family. He didn’t want the responsibility of wrecking another young life. That’s why he had to figure out Mikey’s situation. His nephew’s future was too precious to ruin, as he’d ruined Neil’s.
As he ate, Ben struggled to stifle his growing interest in Victoria Archer. Maybe he didn’t want to be, but he was very interested in this competent woman and why she’d been so insistent that Ben be Mikey’s father.
He also wondered how long she’d be staying here, at The Haven, in the middle of nowhere. She was young, obviously hip and unmarried, judging by her bare ring finger. Her affection for the elderly sisters was obvious, her manner with them protective.
Though she seemed at home here at The Haven, Ben didn’t get the feeling that Victoria lived here full-time. Or hadn’t until recently. Comments from her sisters and her aunts about finally coming home made him want to know more about her.
When Mikey burst out bawling because the apple crisp dessert reminded him of his mom, Victoria didn’t try to change the subject or avoid the topic. Instead she wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders and encouraged more memories. Within minutes, she had his nephew giggling as she tried to demonstrate his description of butterfly kisses.
Suddenly Ben hoped it would take Tillie and Margaret a while to find Mikey a family, long enough for him to figure out what made Victoria’s gray eyes turn to soot when she didn’t think anyone was watching.
Chapter Two (#uf33ad4ea-6a1f-526b-bc15-853db8182305)
“Oh. You’re still up.”
Victoria paused in the doorway of the biggest room at The Haven, which was also the only one with a lit fireplace. Tillie and Margaret called this room The Salon but she’d always known it as their family room, the place where they’d shared their lives. Now it was occupied by their visitor.
“Couldn’t sleep. Probably because I ate too much of your sister’s delicious chicken pie.” Firelight flickered across Ben, seated in Margaret’s wingback chair in front of the fire, with Tillie’s lurid purple-and-green afghan covering his legs. “What’s that?”
“Hot chocolate. Want some?” Victoria didn’t want to share with him. In fact, she wished he’d stayed in his room. She wanted to be alone, to think things through, to figure out her next step. But she couldn’t think with Ben nearby because his searching blue eyes made her nervous, fidgety.
Still, he was a guest and the aunts’ lessons on hospitality had been deeply engrained in her.
“I’ll get another cup.”
“Don’t bother,” he called as Victoria scurried away like the frightened mouse she felt but didn’t want anyone to see.
She drew a deep breath for control, patted her unsettled stomach, wondering if morning sickness could also be evening sickness and if its cause now was that her baby knew his mother didn’t have a job now, or even a next step planned. Grimacing, she grabbed another mug and returned.
“No bother. There’s more in that carafe than I can drink anyway.” She filled his mug and set it on the round table, near his elbow. She added another log to the fire before sinking into Tillie’s chair and cuddling her own cup while her brain scrambled for a topic of conversation. Ben beat her to it.
“Are there a lot of fireplaces in this house?” His gaze slid from the river-stone chimney to the massive fir mantel and granite-slab hearth.
“Yes. The Haven was built to be self-sufficient. Thankfully there’s enough deadwood on the property to fuel the fireplaces.” She loved this sagging, worn chair, not for the comfort it offered but for the memories it evoked. “Tom and Jerry were very smart men.”
“Tom and Jerry being?” Ben studied her, one eyebrow arched in an inquisitive expression.
“How long has Aunt Tillie been writing you?” Victoria couldn’t believe he hadn’t heard the whole story already.
“Just over seven months. Why?”
“My aunts started writing letters to military personnel more than twenty years ago when they joined the local Legion. A former colonel suggested those who protect and serve our country might need someone to talk to and since the aunts missed their missionary work, they wrote.” Victoria smiled at the memories of all the service men and women who’d visited The Haven during her teen years. Could she give her child such good memories?
“That’s a lot of letters,” Ben murmured.
“After a couple of years, the aunts developed a format. They usually give some personal history within the first two or three letters. Did they do that with you?” When he shook his head, she inhaled before explaining. “So how did you make contact with Aunt Tillie?”
“She wrote to me, said she was praying for Africa and my name was on the list of servicemen serving there. She asked if I had any special requests. Some of my buddies said I should write back.” Ben smiled. “Tillie was the one who led me to God. So what’s the history of The Haven?”
“That’s a long story. It starts with brothers, Tom and Jerry Havenston, hence The Haven. Tillie and Margaret were nurses and met the two when they were visiting Chokecherry Hollow. The aunts fell in love with the brothers. The four wanted to be married, but the ladies had already promised to go as missionaries to what was then Rhodesia.”
“So I guess the brothers planned to go, too?” Ben asked.
“Yes, but Jerry contracted scarlet fever. Tillie and Margaret delayed their departure to nurse him at a friend’s home but his recovery was very slow.” As usual, Victoria felt a rush of sympathy for the two couples.
“I’m listening,” Ben encouraged.
“The missions’ society sponsoring the aunts kept pressing them to leave to replace other missionaries due to return to Canada. Jerry and Tom did, too. They wanted the sisters to keep their commitment to the society.”
“Why?” Ben frowned.
“Because as the sons of missionaries who’d served in Africa, Tom and Jerry knew what the mission meant to the Africans. They insisted the aunts shouldn’t break their promise to the society,” Victoria explained.
“Strong men.” Ben sounded approving.
“Very. Anyway, Tillie and Margaret left believing their fiancés would join them later. They were in Africa four months before they learned Tom had had a heart attack rendering him unable to travel. The aunts prepared to return, but the men telegrammed begging them to stay. The men had heard rumors that if left understaffed, the government would probably close the sisters’ Rhodesian mission. They did not want Tillie and Margaret to alter what they believed was God’s will.”
“So they stayed here and built The Haven,” Ben guessed.
“You’re jumping way ahead,” Victoria protested.
“Missionaries get furloughs, don’t they?” Ben asked.
“Yes. A month after Tillie and Margaret returned to Canada, Tom had a second heart attack. And another after that. Everyone feared he’d die.” Victoria could hardly bear to think of her aunts’ distress. “Aunt Tillie told me she and Margaret took turns nursing him until he slowly recovered. The aunts returned to Rhodesia after Tom and Jerry agreed they’d follow when possible. Again they made plans to marry.”
“Even fifty years ago, it must have taken a fortune to buy all the land and build The Haven.” Ben frowned. “The aunts gave up a comfy life.”
“Oh, the brothers weren’t wealthy at first. In fact, they supported their widowed and ailing sister and her two children.” Victoria smiled. “It took years before they became successful. But I digress.”
“They couldn’t go to Africa,” Ben guessed.
“No, because their sister died, leaving them guardians of her daughters. Both were sickly. Tom and Jerry eventually realized that their own poor health would never allow them to travel to Africa.” Victoria saw empathy flash across his face.
“Just shows how our plans can change in an instant,” he murmured.
Boy, did Victoria know about that. She’d never planned to be a single mother.
“Go on.” Ben leaned forward in his eagerness to hear the story. She liked that he was so interested in the aunts’ history.
“Well, after much prayer, the men decided God had planned a different future for them. They raised their nieces in the fresh mountain air, which seemed to help their unhealthy lungs,” she said.
“And then?”
“Tom and Jerry invented a medical item that helped hospitals enormously and made them wealthy. They bought acres of land and built this house, a home for their nieces and for Tillie and Margaret when they finally returned to Canada for good.” She waved a hand. “Tom and Jerry lovingly thought out every detail of The Haven. They were amazing men who truly loved the aunts.”
“But Tillie’s always signed her letters Miss.” Ben’s blue-eyed gaze studied her. “Didn’t they marry after all?”
“I have to tell it in sequence, Ben,” Victoria chided. “The nieces contracted polio and never recovered, dying just weeks before the aunts finally returned here. After a period of mourning, the four again planned their long-anticipated weddings.” Victoria paused in the sad tale, then added, “Tom and Jerry went on a bachelor hiking trip through their beloved mountains three days before the weddings. They were fatally shot by illegal poachers.”
“Oh, no. After all that waiting.” She liked that Ben seemed genuinely moved. Proved he was nothing like stone-cold Derek who felt nothing for his own child. “It must have been hard to accept that, after all their sacrifice, God didn’t give the sisters their own happy ending.”
“Didn’t He?” Victoria tried not to smile, relieved Tillie and Margaret hadn’t heard that. “Tom and Jerry left their fortunes and The Haven to the sisters to, as they put it, continue their missionary work. So the aunts got busy being missionaries in their community.”
She stretched her neck, suddenly weary. This motherhood thing was taxing.
“That wasn’t enough,” Ben guessed.
“The colonel I mentioned earlier? He knew someone who agreed to provide them with the names of troops they could write to. And thus began the sisters’ letter-writing ministry.”
“Amazing story. Bad turned to blessings.” Ben nodded. “A lot of men in my unit really look forward to the ladies’ letters, you know. I’m one of them. I’ve also heard how they often have veterans visiting here.”
“They often do, but there’s a lot more to my aunties than that.” Victoria grinned.
“Meaning?”
Of course she wouldn’t tell Ben the whole truth about herself, but she did want him to realize how important Tillie and Margaret were in so many lives.
“You met my sisters Adele and Olivia at dinner tonight though I doubt much sunk in. You were hurting pretty badly.”
“I’m sorry I had such poor manners,” Ben said, looking embarrassed.
“They understood. They’re used to hurting people showing up here. All of us are. We were some of them once.” She chuckled at his confused look. “Let me explain. When I was ten and my sisters a bit younger—by the way, we have a fourth foster sister, Gemma. Anyway, we four girls were troublemakers headed down a bad road. We all had the same caseworker and she wanted us away from the gang we were about to join. So she asked the aunts to fund trips to camp for all four of us.”
“You liked it there?” Ben asked.
“We four girls had never met before but being bad apples, we banded together and caused no end of problems in that camp.” How she regretted that.
“I find it hard to believe you were a troublemaker, Victoria.” He frowned.
“Believe it. The camp wanted us gone. In desperation, our caseworker contacted her friends Tillie and Margaret again and, ignoring their ages, asked them to take all four of us for three months. No one else would touch us for a week, so asking for three months was asking a lot.”
“You’re kidding.” Ben’s gaping stare made her smile.
“Not at all. We were all experienced foster brats. We’d all learned how to fool everyone. Except once we got to The Haven, we couldn’t fool Tillie and Margaret.” She chuckled at the memory of their pranks. “Short story—we four girls grew up here with abundant love demonstrated every day. The service men and women the aunts host here made a big impact on us. So did the aunts’ offers to accommodate countless local programs for various charity groups. We grew up seeing missionaries in action.”
“So Tom and Jerry’s Haven has truly become a haven for a lot of people.” Ben’s blue eyes stretched wide. “Quite a story.”
“It is.” Victoria sipped her cocoa thoughtfully. “But I don’t know how much longer that can continue.”
“What do you mean?” Ben’s forehead furrowed. “Are Tillie and Margaret broke?”
“Oh, no. Tom and Jerry invested very wisely.” Victoria exhaled. “It’s more to do with aging. We four girls moved out, pursued careers, got on with our lives. But the aunts are still here, much older and virtually alone, except for Jake, and he can’t run the place alone forever, though he’d argue otherwise.”
“So Tillie and Margaret have to leave The Haven?” Ben asked quietly.
“Not without a struggle.” Victoria grimaced. “Since I’m home for a while, I’m hoping to figure out a way for them to stay a little longer. If Aunt Maggie hasn’t already beaten me to it,” she added darkly.
“What does that mean?”
Victoria bit her lip.
“You don’t want to tell me?” he prodded.
“It’s not that. It’s—my aunts get a lot of ideas.” Sitting here in the twilight, talking with Ben—it wasn’t as bad as Victoria had expected. In fact, maybe he’d have some thoughts on how to keep the aunts in their home. “Some of their ideas are, well, let’s call them outlandish.”
“I see.” Ben’s intense stare made her nervous. And yet it was also somehow comforting to talk out her fears. She certainly couldn’t have done it with Derek. At least Ben didn’t try to make her feel silly or stupid.
“The thing is, even their most bizarre ideas often work. Eventually,” she mumbled, wishing her usual proficiency with fixing things hadn’t suddenly deserted her.
“You think your aunts have a plan for how they can stay here?” Ben asked.
“Something Aunt Margaret said before she went to bed makes me think the two of them have come up with a new scheme.” Victoria read his face and chuckled. “You think that’s good. It might be. It might also turn out to be totally, utterly impossible. In which case,” she explained, leaning forward so he’d understand, “my sisters and I will have to gently disabuse them of the notion.”
“Having met the two ladies, I’m guessing that won’t be easy.” Ben tried and failed to smother his amusement. Suddenly he sat up straight. “Was that Mikey calling? Since we, er, found his parents’ bodies, he’s had nightmares and—”
“Being afraid is probably normal for all little kids sometimes. But I have a monitor in Mikey’s room, Ben.” She pulled it out of her pocket. “Listen.” She held it up. All that transmitted was the sound of smooth, even breathing. “He’s fine, but I can go check on him if that will make you feel better.”
“Do you mind?” He glanced at his foot. “I’d do it but that spiral staircase is daunting.”
“I take it you’re happy with your main-floor room down the hall, then?” She chuckled at his forceful nod and rose. “Back in a jiffy.”
Snugging her ancient and tattered velvet robe around her waist, Victoria scooted up the stairs. Mikey was fast asleep just like her aunts who were snoring. There were no sounds from the room Olivia shared with Adele so Victoria padded down the stairs in her fluffy slippers and reentered the salon.
“Everything’s good, Ben.” She scanned his tense face. “But I don’t think you are.”
“It’s my leg. I need to elevate it. I’d better get to bed.” He rose slowly, using his crutch. “Thanks for checking on Mikey and the cocoa and the talk, Victoria. I’ll pray about The Haven’s future though I’m not sure it will do much good. I’m pretty new at the whole praying thing.”
“New Christian or old, doesn’t make a difference to God. ‘The Lord has set apart the redeemed for Himself. Therefore He will listen to me and answer when I call upon Him,’” she quoted. “That’s what David said in the fourth chapter of Psalms.”
“That’s a verse I need to memorize,” he murmured thoughtfully. “So often I feel like God doesn’t hear me, especially when I see the heartache and devastation in my job. To know that God always listens—that’s comforting.” He stared directly into her eyes. “I’m impressed that you can quote the Bible so easily.”
“Part and parcel of living with Tillie and Margaret.” Victoria smiled. “The Bible is an intricate part of their lives and, by association, those around them.” And you’ve failed to live up to their and your own Biblical principles. A chill ran up her spine. Soon she’d be telling him all of it—“Good night, Ben.”
“Good night.” He continued to study her for several moments. Then he awkwardly wheeled around and thumped across the oak floor, toward his room down the hall.
Victoria waited until she heard his door close before resuming her seat in the armchair, her brain whirling with questions.
How was she going to help the aunts stay at The Haven?
How was she going to raise a baby on her own, with no visible means of support? How was she going to stand seeing the disappointed looks on her aunts’ faces when she told them? She’d already caused them so much heartache when she first came here. Maybe they wouldn’t even want her anymore.
Just how much could their love endure?
Her fingers splayed over her midsection.
God, are You mad at me?
She’d just assured Ben that God always listened, but deep inside her heart, Victoria felt a void, an emptiness she’d never known before. She knew why that was. She’d disregarded the principles she’d been raised on. Maybe God was now leaving it up to her to handle having and raising this baby alone. She was no weakling, but being strong enough for that scared Victoria to her core.
* * *
The next morning, Ben savored the delicious breakfast Adele had prepared.
“Olivia and I have to get back to work,” she’d explained as she shrugged into her coat. “Since Jake plowed out the road last night to take you into the doctor this morning, we’ll get an early start. Olivia has to catch a flight to Ottawa. She works there for the military. I live in Edmonton and I have a catering job scheduled for tomorrow so I have to go, too.”
“Have a good trip,” he said with a smile.
“Thanks. Vic’s still sleeping. I left a note telling her we’ll text later.”
“I hope we see you and Mikey again, Ben,” Olivia added.
“Me, too,” he said, and meant it.
After hugging their aunts and promising to return soon, the two left. Then Jake appeared and said he’d be driving Ben to town. Conscious of his lack of mobility and wearied by the physical strain of getting in and out of the doctor’s office, Ben was glad to return to The Haven.
“The doctor said you’ll be fine?” Margaret nodded when he repeated the diagnosis of rest. “Good. You and Mikey can stay and relax.”
“Thank you. And thank you for watching him while I went into town.” He sipped his coffee, glad the boy had slept in until a few minutes ago.
“I wish the girls could have stayed a little longer.” Tillie cuddled her coffee mug in her hand. “It’s so much fun when they’re here.”
“Maybe, with the right incentive, they’ll come back.” Margaret wore a quirky smile that Ben thought was somewhat cunning.
“What’s the right incentive, Auntie?” Victoria stumbled into the kitchen, trying to smother a gigantic yawn and failing. Ben thought she looked awful.
“My dear, are you ill?” Tillie rushed to Victoria’s side and ushered her to a chair at the table. “Your face is positively gray!”
“I slept in too long. Maybe that’s why I feel a little off this morning,” Victoria admitted.
A little off? Not the way Ben would have put it.
“Coffee might help,” Margaret suggested.
Perhaps he was the only one who saw Victoria almost gag.
“I’ll wait a bit, thanks, Auntie.”
“I’m sorry if rescuing us caused you to be ill,” he apologized.
“It didn’t.” Victoria avoided looking at him. As if to divert attention from herself, she asked Mikey if he’d slept well.
“I had a good sleep,” his nephew said with a grin. “When I waked up, I saw your little light.”
“Auntie Margaret gave me that light after I came here to live.” Victoria smiled at her aunt. “I was older than you are, Mikey, but I still had bad dreams. Auntie said that when I woke up afraid, I should look at the lamp and remember that Jesus was right beside me, protecting me.”
“Like you said to me!” Mikey exclaimed. “I did an’ it worked. I didn’t get ’fraid.”
“I’m glad. Excuse me.” Victoria suddenly burst from her chair and bolted from the room.
“Oh, the poor dear.” Tillie put on the kettle. “I’ll make her some peppermint tea.”
“I’ll get some crackers.” Margaret frowned as she set the packet on the table. “The child is so thin. It’s not healthy.”
“It’s the fashion now and she’s hardly a child.” Tillie smiled as Victoria returned, looking, in Ben’s opinion, even more pasty-faced than before. “All right, dear?”
“Just a flu bug.” She studied his sling. “That doesn’t look like my work.”
“This morning, Jake drove me in to see the doctor who checked it then redid it. He said your work was very professional.” Ben couldn’t help wondering if Victoria actually heard him. She looked as if she was thinking about something else.
“That’s nice.” She smiled wanly before tearing open the crackers. “Too bad the girls had to leave.”
“Yes, it is.” Tillie exchanged what Ben thought was an odd look with her sister.
“We never had a chance to tell them our idea,” Margaret murmured.
“Your—idea?” Victoria suddenly went still. She glanced from one senior to the other before asking in a hesitant voice, “What’s your idea, Aunties?”
“To make The Haven a—a spa. Is that the word, sister?” Tillie looked to Margaret for clarification.
Ben watched Victoria’s eyes widen. She seemed to scramble for a response.
“A spa is a—good idea, Aunties,” she managed to say. “The Haven has a wonderful location. But—well, we don’t have any pools or hot tubs or mud baths or masseuses. You know,” she continued when the aunts looked confused, “the usual spa things that draw people.”
“Oh, no, dear. Spa’s the wrong word.” Tillie frowned at Margaret. “Can you explain?”
“Think retreat,” Margaret clarified. “A retreat for kids. Troubled kids. Foster kids. Like you were, Victoria.”
Ben immediately saw the potential. Acres of land for hikes to wear kids out. Wild animals to observe, room to relax and allow nature’s peace to calm tortured hearts.
“For kids?” Victoria frowned. “But there’s nothing here for kids!”
“There was for you,” Margaret reminded tartly.
“Yes, but that was years ago, Auntie. Today’s kids are techies, constantly connected. They’d need organized activities—” She stopped, no doubt aware of the sisters’ growing irritation.
“I can see it.” Ben probably should have shut up given Victoria’s annoyed glance in his direction. But he couldn’t. “Trails to hike, endurance or training courses, a chance to work with the cows and chickens you have. Kids might really enjoy a place like this.”
“You know a lot about kids?” Victoria demanded, probably reminding him of his claim not to know how to parent. But Ben let his imagination go.
“I don’t, but I’d guess the river I’ve seen crossing the valley could offer decent swimming in the summer,” he mused.
“Where would these kids stay?” Victoria’s question was directed at her aunts. “They have to sleep somewhere. They’d need counsellors or someone to watch them.” She scowled. “There are only ten bedrooms here in The Haven.”
“There are the cabins,” Margaret replied.
Ben glanced through the big window but saw no buildings.
“Aunties, the cabins haven’t been used in years. They’re decrepit and...” Victoria’s tone bordered on exasperation.
“No, they’re not.” Tillie’s normally soft voice was loud and firm. “Jake checked them over for us. He did some repairs himself and oversaw local volunteers who helped with others. Bottom line, we have eight cabins that will each sleep four, five at a pinch. Maggie’s already ordered new mattresses for the cots,” she added defiantly.
“We weren’t going to say that, Tillie,” her sister admonished. “But since you have...” She shrugged. “We also ordered some canoes. Boating on the river was something our boys enjoyed so much,” she explained to Ben.
Boys? he wondered.
“Our fiancés were real outdoorsmen,” Tillie agreed with a reminiscent smile.
Victoria looked dumbfounded. Mikey glanced curiously from one woman to the other. Ben was intrigued.
“Describe who you envision coming here,” he murmured.
“Children like our four girls,” Tillie said with a smile at Victoria. “Kids who need to escape the lure of drugs or whatever evil they’re trapped in. Or perhaps they and their foster families simply need a break from each other, time to think.”
“We’re still in touch with the foster system in Edmonton, you know,” Margaret added with a pointed look at her foster daughter. “They think it’s a wonderful idea.”
“I’m sure they do.” Victoria chewed another cracker.
“You think we’re too old, don’t you?” Tillie frowned. “Well, we’ll never be too old to answer when the Lord calls us.”
“Are you sure He called you, Auntie?” Victoria’s normally musical voice had a frosty edge. “Or was it your friends in Social Services who made you think this was a good idea?”
Ben watched the twins draw erect, their annoyance obvious.
“We have thought and prayed about this decision for months, Victoria. We’ve conducted many inquiries into how the logistics would work, the cost, the need for helpers,” Margaret spoke clearly, her voice confident. “We have sought the Lord over and over to ascertain His will. We believe this is it.”
“You’re going ahead with it.” The words carried resignation.
“We’d like to.” Tillie took her hand. “On one condition.”
“We’ve been praying that you’d be willing to help us,” Margaret finished.
“Me?” Victoria’s dark head reared back, gray eyes wide. “How could I help?”
“My dear, you are a fixer, a problem-solver for the hotel. You didn’t train for it. You trained to be a teacher. But when your school closed, you took the hotel job and mastered anticipating and resolving situations that frustrated others. You made things work. That’s what we want, someone who will enable our idea. Right, Maggie?” She looked to Margaret who nodded once.
“But—but—” Victoria’s glance moved around the table, staring at each one of them. Ben felt her gaze rested on him longest.
“May I ask something?” he said quickly, desperate to know if his trip had been in vain.
“Please do.” Tillie inclined her head.
“Does your new plan mean you’ll stop writing people in the military? That you won’t want them to come to The Haven anymore?”
“We see the two meshing. Veterans who visit The Haven may be willing to interact with our guests, even become mentors.” Margaret’s words came crisp and clear. “We think they’d have much to offer.”
“And that brings us to the reason you came to see us, doesn’t it?” Tillie’s smile warmed him, chased away the fear that had hatched inside him. “Let’s go to the study and talk about your situation, Ben. I’m sure Victoria and Mikey can find something to do until we’re finished.” She rose, linked her arm with her sister’s and beckoned him before they walked out.
“Coming.” Ben rose and moved awkwardly toward the door. He paused by Victoria, touched by the confusion in her eyes. “Their plan upset you. Will you be all right?”
“Eventually.” Her smile held more determination than mirth. “Go. Mikey and I will be fine.” She grimaced and jumped up. “Right after I’m sick.” She scurried from the room as if chased.
“Is Vic okay, Unca Ben?” Mikey sounded worried he’d lose another adult from his world.
Ben couldn’t respond because he’d time-traveled back to Neil’s, sitting in the kitchen, watching as his sister-in-law, Alice, turned green and then raced away.
“Is she okay?” he’d asked his brother.
“Alice is fine. Just pregnant.”
Could Victoria be pregnant?
Brain whirling, Ben ordered Mikey to stay put and hobbled out of the kitchen to answer Tillie’s impatient call.
Was Victoria going to be a mom? A mental picture of her cradling a tiny baby in her arms stuck with Ben all through his conversation with the elderly sisters.
Why was he so certain Victoria would be an amazing mother? It was obvious. She was kind and generous and obviously willing to put her own wants after the needs of her elderly aunts. And she was great with Mikey.
But where was the baby’s father? Did she love him? Was she planning to marry soon? And why did that thought bug him?
Ben had a hunch that Victoria was keeping the news from her aunts and probably her sisters also since none of them had offered congratulations. But why?
All of these questions and hundreds more made Ben decide to question Victoria. Maybe she’d explain it as she’d explained about her aunts. He felt this intense need to know everything about her, though in truth, it wasn’t any of his business.
Chapter Three (#uf33ad4ea-6a1f-526b-bc15-853db8182305)
With her stomach upset, her mind troubled by the aunts’ grandiose plans for The Haven and her heart even more bothered that Ben was considering letting Mikey be adopted, Victoria couldn’t sit still, so she did what she always did when she needed to think. She went for a long walk through the forest—with Mikey.
“What’re those marks in the snow?” he wanted to know.
“Rabbit tracks.” Kids, here at The Haven?
“What’s that big block?”
“Salt. Deer like to lick it.” Why not kids at The Haven? As Auntie said, we four sisters found plenty to do here.
“Why is that tree black?”
“Forest fire.” Victoria smiled at his worried look. “We don’t have forest fires in the winter, Mikey, and even if we did, there’s a lot more equipment to fight them now than there was when this one happened.”
Safety—another reason why inviting kids out to the mountains wasn’t a great idea. They could get lost or injured.
“I wish I could live here.” Mikey’s comment jerked her out of her thoughts.
“You do?” Victoria hid a smile as he veered away from the panting dogs. “Even though Spot and Dot live at The Haven?” Mikey’s emphatic nod said a lot. “How come?”
“There’s no bad men here,” he whispered. “They won’t get me an’ Unca Ben.”
“No, they sure won’t,” Victoria assured him.
But that was hardly comfort enough. She tried to imagine what she would tell her own child in such a situation. For sure she’d want to soothe him. Maybe she’d gather him on her knee, hug him close and tell him the Bible story of how God protected little Samuel, just as her foster aunts had told her.
As Mikey’s anxious face searched hers for answers, Victoria knew she couldn’t fail him so she crouched beside him and drew him into the circle of her arms.
“Nobody’s going to get you, sweetheart,” she comforted, moved by his little-boy-lost expression. “Uncle Ben’s nearby. And God’s looking after you.”
“He didn’t look after my mommy an’ daddy.” Clearly Mikey was troubled.
Victoria wasn’t sure how to respond, but she didn’t have to because he added in a very quiet voice, “Me an’ Unca Ben woulda been there to ’tect Mommy and Daddy if I didn’t ask for ice cream.”
“Oh, no, my darling.” Victoria’s heart ached for the blame he carried. Mikey and Ben both felt responsible for something over which they had no control. “Listen to me, Mikey. Having ice cream with your uncle didn’t make those men hurt your parents. You are not to blame.”
“But Unca Ben coulda stopped them if we’d gone home. He coulda,” he assured her with a frown. “Unca Ben is big and strong. His job is to ’tect people.”
“I know.” Victoria bit her lip. She could hardly reassure Mikey that his uncle would be here to protect him because that wasn’t true. Ben felt he had to find someone else to do that—unless she, or perhaps the aunts, could change his mind. “Mikey, God’s even bigger than Uncle Ben. He can keep you safe when Uncle Ben’s not there. You can trust God. When you’re afraid, you can pray and ask Him to make the fear go away. God’s your Heavenly Father and He loves you very much.”
After studying her silently, Mikey resumed plodding through the snow. Victoria inwardly winced at his sad expression, glad for the silence as recrimination filled her. How dare she tell others to trust—she who hadn’t trusted God to find her a man deserving of her love? She’d failed to live up to standards her aunts had ingrained in her. What kind of example would she be to kids who came to The Haven? How could a pregnant single woman talk to them about God, about keeping His commandments? Her cheeks burned with shame.
She kept glancing at Mikey as they walked. Why couldn’t Ben see that Mikey needed him? Now more than ever. She sighed with frustration. Walking had failed to provide her with the answers she craved.
When they returned to the house, Ben waited for them in the kitchen.
“Are you all right?” His dark blue eyes inspected her face.
“I’m fine.” She turned away to make some toast. “The fresh air up here always does wonders for me.”
“Uh-huh.” Something in the way he said that made her twist to look at him. Disliking the speculative look on his face, she quickly changed the subject. “Mikey saw lots of interesting things.”
Thankfully that sent the boy into a long-winded explanation of the sights and sounds around The Haven, leaving Victoria, who was suddenly ravenous, to munch on toast and peanut butter between sips of well-creamed coffee.
“What do you have planned today?” Ben asked when she finally rose to put her dishes in the dishwasher.
“Well, since Olivia and Adele are gone, I suppose lunch will be up to me. Unless—” She checked the fridge and then pumped her fist. “Yes! My dear sister left us a huge pot of soup which means I don’t have to cook.”
“I can cook if you need help,” Ben offered.
“That’s nice of you, though I can cook. Tillie and Margaret would never have allowed us girls to leave The Haven without knowing how to care for ourselves.” She wrinkled her nose as she set a coloring book and crayons in front of Mikey. “It’s just that cooking’s not my favorite activity.”
“What is?” Ben accepted a refill of coffee before leaning back in his chair and waiting.
“Almost any kind of sport. Or anything to do with kids or animals.” She glanced from him to Mikey before asking, “Were you able to discuss—things, while we were walking?”
“Yes.” He studied his nephew with a frown. “The ladies are writing a few letters. This afternoon they’re going to town to mail them and—er—check into some possibilities.”
“Ben, are you sure about this?”
“Pretty sure.” His mouth tightened in a grim line. “I can’t think of any other way.”
Victoria studied Mikey. “It’s just—”
“What do you think of Tillie and Margaret’s idea for The Haven’s newest outreach?” Now he was trying to change the subject.
“Over the top.” Victoria grimaced. “But that’s par for the course for them.”
“I think it’s amazing.” Ben’s face blazed with interest. “Think of the possibilities. What kid wouldn’t want to come here?”
“If only it were that easy,” she muttered.
“You mean your aunts don’t have the qualifications or certifications or whatever they need?”
“I’m pretty sure they do. Tillie and Margaret took all the necessary courses to foster long before they brought us here. And they’re diligent about keeping up with the foster system, constantly adding to their knowledge.” She tapped her finger against her mug. “But more importantly, they have good contacts.”
“In Jasper, you mean?” Ben looked confused.
“Jasper, Edmonton, Vancouver, Toronto. You name the place and I can almost guarantee my aunts know someone there who knows someone who knows someone.” Victoria grinned at his visible skepticism. “It’s true. How do you think they got to know so many people?”
“Tell me.” His shrug made her chuckle.
“Their colonel, of course.” Victoria shrugged back at him. “When vets the aunts had written to came for a visit here at The Haven, they told the ladies about the appalling situations they and some of their buddy veterans now lived in. Of course, the aunties had to do something. They enlisted the colonel and his colonel and general buddies to petition the government to spend more on those who’d given their service to this country. Because of the huge support, government response was enacted.”
“Good for them,” Ben said.
“Yes, but more importantly, as folks learned of Tillie and Margaret’s original letter-writing, they began asking the aunts to write to their deployed family members. My dear aunties’ letter-writing ministry grew.” She smiled. “They always include a word about God and invite everyone to visit. Many come to thank them or seek their advice. My aunties have led a lot of people to Jesus and thus continues their missionary work,” she said proudly.
“Now they want to extend it to foster kids. Judging by their past success, I’d say their idea has a good chance of success,” he mused quietly.
“Of course it does,” Victoria said crisply.
“But you don’t want it to?” The words had barely left Ben’s lips when he recanted. “No, that’s not right. You love these ladies. Naturally you want them to succeed. So what’s your stumbling block?” He watched her closely.
“The amount of work. They can take a rest from letter-writing if they need to, but running this place as a retreat will be nonstop. They’re seventy-five, Ben.”
“They seem younger.”
“They can’t run the kind of place they’re describing alone. They’ll need employees, payroll, insurance, programs, knowledge of regulations and, I’m sure, renovations,” Victoria sighed. “There will be a ton of stuff involved.”
“You don’t want to help? Because you’re afraid of the work or...? Say, what do you do again?” he asked suddenly.
“I am—was, a fixer for a hotel chain.”
“A—huh?” Ben’s confusion made her smile.
“A fixer. Solver of problems. If hotel rooms are empty too often, I figure out why and devise strategies so they’ll be booked. If a hotel restaurant isn’t working to capacity, they send me to figure it out. If clients are complaining about something too frequently, or we’re not getting enough repeat business—actually any problems the hotel couldn’t solve on its own were my problem. My job was to fix them. And I did.”
“Sounds interesting and challenging.” Ben’s blue eyes stretched wide.
“It was. But it meant a lot of traveling, and I’m tired of that. I’m a Big Sister to several preteen girls in Edmonton whom I dearly love. So much travel made it difficult to interact with them as much as they need.” She grimaced. “I guess I haven’t made things better by coming here either, though I tried to explain.”
“How do you train for a job like that?” Curiosity filled Ben’s question.
“I didn’t. I trained as a teacher. I loved it, but my salary couldn’t cover all the things I wanted to do with my Little Sisters, so I started as a part-time host on the hotel’s main desk.” She shrugged. “Stuff came up and I handled it. Then my school closed and I was laid off. I couldn’t get on anywhere else. The hotel manager offered me full-time hours.” No need to tell Ben about Derek. “After the first year, head office noticed our hotel didn’t have the volume of complaints others in the chain did. Somebody decided I was the reason and things kind of took off from there.”
“Good for you.” Ben’s stare seemed riveted on her.
“Thanks. I loved my job, but I need a break, so I’ve taken a leave.” She shifted uncomfortably, answering Mikey’s question about the right color to use for the stone house he was drawing while trying to think of a way to ignore questions she knew Ben would ask.
“You could do the same sort of thing here, with your aunts’ ideas,” he mused. “But you want to go back to the city.”
“No.” Victoria’s emphatic denial startled him. “I’m happy to bend over backward if the aunts ask me to. I just don’t want them doing it.” She could see he still didn’t get it. “They should be retired, enjoying life.”
“They’re not enjoying life now?” He chuckled. “Could have fooled me. I’ve only been here a day but it looks as if those two ladies are having the times of their lives.”
“I mean I want them to slow down, not take on even more. They’ve already got their fingers in so many pies.” She ticked them off on her fingers. “Missionary society, teaching quilting to high school girls, programs at the seniors’ center, not to mention their letter-writing and tons of stuff at their church.” She bit her lip before lowering her voice. “Tillie and Margaret are my family, Ben. I don’t want them worn out or tired. Inviting kids, keeping them busy, handling the seesaw of teen emotions and staff issues—I don’t want them upset by that.”
“Because you love them.” Ben nodded in empathy. “And maybe you’re afraid of losing them?”
Victoria jerked her head up to glare at him. Then she wearily nodded. It was an unspoken truth she’d never dared voice.
“I get all that, believe me. You’re a good daughter and you want the best for them.” Ben held her gaze. “But Tilly and Margaret aren’t the type to be content sitting in their chairs, watching television or playing cards. You must know that, Victoria.”
“Yes.” Slightly annoyed that he was so perceptive, she was also relieved to have her thoughts challenged. “I guess it’s a good thing I’m here.”
“Part of God’s plan,” he agreed with a grin.
Single mom—God’s plan? Victoria gulped. If Ben only knew.
“I don’t think God had much to do with my coming back to The Haven,” she muttered, feeling her face burn with shame. “Excuse me. I need to change before I make lunch.”
“But you said the soup—”
Victoria ignored him, scurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs as if dogs were on her heels. In the privacy of her room, she collapsed on the bed and gazed at the molded plaster ceiling.
Part of God’s plan, Ben said.As if God would be part of the mess she’d made of her life.
May the Lord bless and protect you; may the Lord’s face radiate with joy because of you; may He be gracious to you, show you His favor, and give you His peace. Numbers 6:24–26.
The aunts’ prayer over her the day she’d left The Haven made her wince. God’s face hardly radiated with joy because of her now. Except maybe in embarrassment.
Victoria’s hand slid to her stomach. Her fingertips probed, trying to feel some sensation that spoke of a baby nestled inside. She felt nothing physically. But deep in her heart, awe blossomed. That she was now responsible for another life brought tears to her eyes.
And yet—the aunts would want their young guests to be taught about God’s love, to see it reflected in the staff. Victoria had messed up so badly; she felt unworthy of preaching to anyone. She’d face dismay and revulsion in people’s—Ben’s—eyes when they realized that she hadn’t followed the Godly precepts she’d been raised on, hadn’t walked her talk.
He’d be disgusted when he found out she wasn’t the worthy daughter he thought.
Why did Ben’s opinion matter so much?
* * *
“Good morning.” Ben had been at The Haven for six days. He no longer doubted his theory that Victoria was pregnant.
Each morning, when he arrived in the kitchen, she was there, pasty-faced, desperately trying not to show her nausea, though she didn’t race from the room as she had before. He knew why. He’d seen her outside, before the sun rose, and figured she was trying to get the worst of her morning sickness out of the way while she walked alone through the cold, snowy world. When she returned, she was always pale yet composed, munching on a stash of crackers she kept in a container on the counter. She acted as if she thought no one noticed.
But Ben noticed and he felt a strong sympathy for her. In fact, he couldn’t stop thinking about Victoria and her baby, couldn’t stop wondering how a strong woman like her had wound up pregnant and unmarried. This morning was no different. His heart raced at seeing her standing in front of the massive gas range, stirring scrambled eggs as if it was what the two of them always did on Sunday morning.
Dream on, Ben.
“Good morning. Church today,” Tillie announced as she and Margaret came sailing into the kitchen.
“I think I might stay home today, Aunties.” Victoria slid fluffy eggs onto a platter, set it in the middle of the big round table. She added buttered toast and a carafe of coffee.
“My dear, are you still unwell?” Though she ducked, Victoria couldn’t avoid Margaret’s palm on her forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”
“I’m fine. Just lethargic. I think I need to rest.” Victoria set a glass of milk in front of Mikey, smiled and ruffled his hair.
“Perhaps you shouldn’t have gone for such a long walk this morning then, dear.” Tillie sat, placed her napkin in her lap and bowed her head. Silence fell as she said grace aloud. Then she looked directly at Victoria. “I’m sure you’ll feel better once the service begins.”
Ben smothered his smile when Victoria exhaled. Weak, timid old ladies? Hardly.
“You’ll come along, too, Ben.” Margaret nodded at his start of surprise. “You can sit in the front seat of the car. There’s plenty of legroom.”
Thus, when breakfast ended and the kitchen was restored to order, they all attended the local church. Inside the white-steepled structure, Ben silently commiserated with Victoria’s reluctant presence, while obediently sitting where indicated, next to the ladies. Victoria was dispatched to escort Mikey to the children’s service upstairs. When she didn’t slide onto the pew next to him until the congregation was well into the first hymn, he knew she’d taken her time returning. She managed a smile when the pastor welcomed her back and nodded at those who turned to glance at her.
But Ben knew Victoria longed to be anywhere but here. In fact, during the minister’s sermon on the love of God, he happened to glance at her down-bent head and saw her dab at her eyes several times, accompanied by a sniff.
Strong, capable Victoria was crying. Why did that make him feel so helpless? Why did he want to comfort her? She wasn’t his responsibility and yet this plucky woman’s distress tugged at his heartstrings. He intrinsically knew that she’d lost at love, that what she’d hoped for had not come to fruition and that, besides leaving her job, she’d left behind the guy who held her heart. The guy who was the father of her child. Yet, as far as Ben knew, she’d still told Tillie and Margaret nothing. Why?
As they rose to sing the closing hymn, Ben glanced at his hosts. Couldn’t these usually astute ladies see that something was wrong? That the young woman they’d raised was desperately unhappy?
But as they chatted with friends in the foyer, on the ride home and all through lunch, Tillie and Margaret seemed oblivious to Victoria’s distress. They giggled at Mikey’s knock-knock jokes as if all was well.
When the two seniors finally left for an afternoon nap and Mikey was engaged in a Disney movie on television, Ben couldn’t remain silent any longer.
“Why don’t you tell your aunts you’re pregnant, Victoria?” he asked baldly, hating the way she winced at the word.
“How do you know—it isn’t—you don’t understand.” She shoved a handful of dark hair away from her face and picked at invisible threads on her jeans.
“What’s to understand? You’re going to have a baby.” Ben shrugged. “You’re not the first single woman to do that and you won’t be the last. Life happens.”
“Unmarried motherhood doesn’t happen to girls Tillie and Margaret taught to revere God and keep His principles,” she shot back, her voice shaky. “That’s sin.”
“I haven’t been a Christian very long,” Ben said, frowning at her. “But it seems to me that even David, a man after God’s own heart, sinned. And God forgave him.”
Her lack of response made him wonder if Victoria had even heard him. With her arms wrapped around her waist, she rocked slightly back and forth, her white face pinched with sadness and stained with tears. Beautiful but heartbreaking. And sort of remote.
“Victoria?” He touched her shoulder. “What about the baby’s father?”
“He doesn’t want me or the baby.”
“Are you sure?” Ben found himself curious—too curious—about that answer.
“He doesn’t want a child in his life. It would wreck his plan, weigh him down with responsibility for someone other than himself.” She gave a tiny huff of laughter. “It took me five years and a ghastly mistake, but the one thing I finally realized about Derek is that he always ducks responsibility. He doesn’t have the ability to see beyond his own needs.”
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